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#lose the hope again. but i know there’s a point but i can’t get myself to see it and maybe it’s bc km just so exhausted but idk. and one of
pepprs · 2 years
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literally the only reason i am not in as bad a mental health place as i was in in december is bc i’m done w school now and i never have to go back or deal with being a student again if i don’t want to and also bc i know there is a high likelihood that there are some big important helpful highly desired changes on my horizon in the next few months and years. but i am really not doing good right now
#purrs#scotus leaked draft + buffalo shooting + dallas shooting + uvalde shooting + monkeypox + covid cases rising + losing my last 3 weeks of#college and graduation + losing my freedom for who knows how long and moving back home + friends and family getting covid + pushing myself#to the limit finishing my capstone + watching my loved ones suffer with the situations in their own lives = is it ethical to bring children#into this world is it reasonable to think that i will one day live with autonomy again and find a romantic partner and have a pet and enjoy#my life and see all the people i love doing the same. all ive been able to do this week outside of finishing school my job application etc#is doomscroll about the shootings and covid and monkeypox when i really should be doomscrollimg through my fucking save tag that i curated#specifically to counteract these situations and give me reasons to find hope but i don’t have the strength or see the point bc im only gonn#lose the hope again. but i know there’s a point but i can’t get myself to see it and maybe it’s bc km just so exhausted but idk. and one of#the WORST parts of this is that if the job works out i am going to have to understand that people will look at me differently part of which#means that people — STUDENTS like i just was 2 days ago!!! — will look to me expecting that i have answers or at the very least hope and i#literally do not have hope right now and after national events this month i don’t know if i’ll ever feel hope again. so it’s like fuck i#wont be able to do my fucking job that i feel called to do and want to do more than anything lol. but i already won’t be able to do it bc t#the chances that i can go to [insert convferwrnce] when it involves being on a plane and navigating people who won’t wear masks are so low#and * already snarked about it to me yesterday which really hurt my feelings like i don’t think she was trying to be mean but it’s like yes#the fuck i can hide in the van forever i do NOT want to get covid. but i also do not want to miss [conference] and it’s just so stupid that#im going to have to keep making these choices because this nightmare country has decided covid doesn’t exist anymore. idk lol#i know everything in my life could be a lot worse and also that it is objectively WORLDS better than it was very recently bc i graduated an#im done now. but this month has sucked so unbelievably bad and June is also going to be hard and im just scared i will never be happy or#hopeful again or that every time i am something new will knock it down (which is a given living in the usa lol) and that it would be#unethical to try to do the BASIC bare minimum things i have always wanted to do in my life. lole#negative tw#ask to tag#abortion tw#shooting tw#mass shooting tw#monkeypox tw
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impishjesters · 6 months
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Pomni, Kinger, Caine & Jax's reaction to their s/o abstracting
warning(s): angst, hurt no comfort, self-blame, "death" of the reader, implied "death"/abstraction of another character (spoiler: Kinger), hopeful outcome note(s): There's nothing incredibly heavy or detailed, just tread carefully if "death" is something you are sensitive to, please. The "hopeful outcome" implies that Caine will at some point in time be able to fix those who've abstracted. A/N: I was feeling particularly cruel and wanted to write some angst, this came to mind and I'll be honest. I made myself a little sad.
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Pomni
She never saw it coming, of course, you were acting different lately but she didn’t think it would… lead to you abstracting…
It took forever for things to get some semblance of normalcy, and you being with her was a major part of it.
Sure the relationship in a place like this was a bit, weird, but you cared about her, and she cared about you.
You kept her sane and grounded, so when you were found abstracted? It felt like she failed you.
Ragatha tries to assure her that you aren’t completely gone. Like Kaufmo you’re being kept in the cellar. Caine claims the abstracted are being kept there until he can find a way to “fix” them. (Whether he’s genuine or not though, none of them know.)
It’s all empty promises though, she still feels like she failed you.
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Kinger
Not again…
Kinger silently promised himself not again, he was fine being friendly with everyone else that fell into the circus, but he had no intentions of being more than that.
But then you happened, and while he was still in shambles from the time and the insanity spent here, you were there beside him. Like a knight in shining armor.
He hadn’t been around when you abstracted, in fact, he didn’t know you abstracted until there was yelling, and boom an abstraction was causing chaos.
Kinger didn’t know who it was until it was sent off to the cellar, actually, he didn’t know who it was until he realized everyone was present except you.
There’s a high probability that losing someone again, losing you, is what ends up being his own downfall. The other’s (not including Jax) try their all to get him to calm down but it’s not enough, it’s too late…
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Caine
Of all the humans to be pulled in he never once got attached.
This was never supposed to happen, he’s incapable of love.
Caine does his best to keep the humans from abstracting, and as many eyes as he has over the place, there are always ones that slip through his grasp.
Of course, he’s not around when you abstract, it takes a bunch of hooting and hollering from everyone before he shows up and oh hey an abstraction.
At an immediate glance, he knows it’s you, abstractions never remotely look like the person they were before but he knows it’s you. You don’t recognize him as you lash out, of course you don’t, you can’t.
He’s unsure about tossing you with the others in the cellar, there’s nowhere else he can truthfully keep you without causing problems. So into the cellar, you go.
Caine visits you though, not for long but he does check in on you. Not that anything changes, but out of all the abstractions down there, he knows exactly which one is you.
You’ll be the first human he fixes as soon as he’s able to.
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Jax
His s/o abstracted? Nice joke, though it’s in poor taste. You’re completely fine, he just saw you earlier.
Jax doesn’t believe it until he sees it, and seeing it absolutely ruins him. He’s seen countless others get abstracted and thrown into the cellar, but why, why does it have to be you?
Why couldn’t it have been literally anyone else? He didn’t give a shit about anyone else, the one person he cared for, and you…
Similarly to Pomni, he feels it’s his fault like he could’ve, no should’ve done more. Was he so wrapped up in everything else that he didn’t notice the signs? Why didn’t you talk to him? You didn’t, didn’t do that on purpose, did you?
For the first time ever, the others are genuinely worried about Jax, they all saw/know how much you meant to him. The two of you even spoke fondly about what the two of you would do if you got out of the circus.
For a while Jax becomes even more irrational and unhinged, they try not to hold it against him too badly, even when he oversteps. He’s grieving and none of them know just how long that’ll go on.
Jax isn’t quite the same afterward, but he makes sure that nobody else tries to worm their way into his heart.
If it’s possible, he’ll make sure Caine fixes you the second he’s able to. Even if Caine can fix only one person, it’s going to be you.
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moonrisecoeur · 4 months
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adoration — leon kennedy
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author’s note: this is absolutely disgustingly horrifically soft. not my usual content but i hope you like it! also to anyone who doesn’t follow me i don’t usually write sub!reader so please don’t request it!
wc: 2.3k
content: leon x reader, fem!reader, not really sub or dom tho i guess it leans more towards dom!leon but it’s super soft, so many pet names, lots of praise, lots of compliments, possessiveness, leon’s down bad but we already knew that, work stress, a little bit of reader being insecure about her looks, riding, unwrapped p in v sex, boyfie leon !!
“there you are,” his voice is gentle just like him. he smiles as he embraces you in a sweet hug, wondering why the universe was so cruel as to pull you away from him for so long every single day. he wishes he could stay right next you, arms wrapped around you, head resting against yours, never letting you go.
he’s only a little possessive, in a cute way rather than a unnerving way. he just likes being with you too much to ever be content when you’re not around.
the best part, in his opinion, is how you hold him back. arms around his waist, mumbling to yourself more so than leon about how much you miss his hugs, “awh, it’s okay, honey. know you missed me,” he teases, and it’s so blatant that out of the two of you, he’s the one who’s down bad, absolutely gone. he’s lucky that you’re not super greedy because he would give you anything you asked for.
your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck is more than enough to make him adore you for the rest of eternity. he reaches a hand up to your face, and watching your head tilt up to sweetly meet his gaze has to be the most deadly thing you’ve ever done. he feels physically giddy as you look at him curiously, wondering if he has someone to say as his fingers caress your cheek and jawline. soft skin beneath his rough fingers. he adores you. endlessly.
“so pretty…” he mumbles, sweet nothings murmuring their way past his lips as his hands cup your cheeks so he can hold you and look at you head on, blue eyes taking in every feature on your sweet face. he can’t help but love it all. he loves your face, he would stare at you for hours if you wouldn’t think it’s weird. he breathes in, inhaling your scent, so recognizable it’s comforting, “my pretty girl, mine all mine.”
you sigh comfortably, melting into him and his touch. it’s alright; he’s got you. he always does.
he leans to press a kiss to your forehead, “all mine..” he whispers again, like he’s reassuring himself, “want you all to myself. hate it when you’re gone.”
you giggle, a little bit breathless. he can tell his own effect on you and it strokes his ego wildly. he knows you secretly love his more possessive side, enjoying that he can’t even be bothered to look at another woman without being reminded about how much he loves and adores you. you’re his baby! he couldn’t ever want someone else!
“can i have you all to myself?” he asks, lips trailing down to your ear.
“mhm,” you hum, nodding your head cutely, and he can’t help the way he absolutely crumbles. god he’s really losing it, you’re absolutely everything to him. you’re too precious for him to ever let go.
“i love you,” he whispers as he kiss your jaw, your face still cradled in his hands like you’re too fragile for him to ever let you go.
“i love you too,” you whisper back. that’s all he’d ever need from you: your love. he could want a million things, but this moment tells him the truth. he’s yours. completely, and helplessly yours.
one hand still steady on holding your face, smiling as you lean more into his touch, his other hand dips back down, over your waist and hips and between your thighs in a way that aches so pleasantly. it’s impossible to tell when exactly you got so wet from this completely normal interaction but he notices too and he’s already too confident. it’ll go to his head at this point. oh well. you’d get back at him another time to bring him back down to earth.
“oh, pretty girl, i can tell my words are affecting you…” he says softly. he says it like it’s a question but he already knows the answer, “but…. if you need something, you can tell me.”
his voice is the only thing you can sensibly hear right now, everything else drowned out with his strong arms holding you close. the way you pout makes his heart race because god you are so adorable that it kills him.
“baby, if you need me to do something, you gotta let me know. i’m not a mind reader,” his voice, thick and syrupy, seeps into your skin and drives you mad with a need to be his. in all ways humanly possible.
and for him to be yours too. you know that this is all an act, that every moment so far in this interaction has been real but with an undertone that you both can easily sense. you control leon in all the ways that matter. you mold him into exactly what you want, and he contorts himself willingly because he wants to be everything you want and need in a man. he’s yours just as much, if not infinitely more, as you’re his.
“can you praise me..?” you whisper, soft and timid. even if you’re not normally the shy type, it all seems to come crumbling down when leon holds you close.
“that’s my girl,” he smiles. sure, he could tease you more, especially with how nonspecific your request was. but you’re desperate and he’s too soft on you to make you wait any longer, “pretty and sweet and all mine.”
even as you huff, muttering something trying to push back against his words. i’m not actually that pretty, or something like that, leon’s shaking his head, in disbelief that a being as ethereal as his lover could ever, even for a moment, believe themselves to be unattractive.
but this isn’t the moment. he can tell you don’t want a lecture on self love or positive self talk right now. it wouldn’t do any good to tell you that he thinks you’re beautiful if you wouldn’t believe it, so he just does as you ask like the obedient boyfriend he is. he’ll tackle that beast another time.
“my pretty girl, my good girl…” he whispers, hands cradling your head against his chest, fingers tendering brushing against your skin as you close your eyes and just let leon speak to you. he’s never been good with words until he fell in love with you, “so proud of you, sweetheart. you worked so hard, even with everything you got going on. my baby’s so strong, isn’t she?”
you nod even as he holds you, maybe just a little too emotional to respond any other way.
“but you don’t always gotta be strong, you can let your walls down when it’s just me, baby. i promise i’ll take care of you,” he whispers, lips pressed against your forehead again. and once he thinks he’s buttered you up enough, he mumbles something like, “tell me what’s bugging you, princess.”
“i… i don’t wanna go to work anymore…” you mumble against his shirt, and he’s looking at you like you’re the cutest thing in the world, “i hate working. just wanna be with you.”
he laughs heartily, and you can feel the vibrations against his chest. his presence just entices comfort, one of his hands resting atop your head, “i know, baby. i wanna be with you always too,” he says.
“it’s not fair..”
he pouts when you pout, the world just had to be so unfair, “i know it’s not. if it were up to me, you’d never work a day in your life, but… you know, unfortunately i’m not that rich.”
you chuckle, and he’s relieved he at least got that out of you.
he can’t help getting distracted, “god you’re so fucking pretty,” he mumbles, hands dropping down to your waist, holding you close like he’s preparing to never let go, “so beautiful, baby. and you’re so perfect,” he tilts his head to look at you, making dangerous eye contact again, face just inches apart, “you’re so… lovely. i could stay here with you forever.”
you smile softly and it lights up the room and his entire life. you hold him close like you never want to let him go, and he feels pretty little butterflies in his stomach.
he leans in to kiss you, finally, and one arm stays wrapped possessively around your waist, as if to steal you away from the rest of the world, and one hand reaches back up to cup your cheek. he kisses you sweetly, not too rough or aggressive, just enough to make you want to drown in his touch, his scent, his presence.
“leon..!” you gasp between kisses, and he’s never liked his name as much as he likes it when your lips say it.
he pulls away to search for any hint that you need him to stop, that your breathless whisper of his name was a plea for escape, and he doesn’t seem to find any. his eyes trail down to your lips again, as if taunted by them, “what do you need, baby?”
“you,” you whisper, your lips finding his neck, kissing him softly. he’s not sure when you exactly decided you would try to kill him but the way your lips feel against him is lethal in its own way.
“yeah? my baby need me?”
“mhm,” you smile, he feels it against his skin, “your pretty girl needs to feel as pretty as you think she is.”
and something pulls at leon’s heart at that little statement. it’s not sad or pitiful, nor is it said with a sad tone, but he wonders what it means to you. do you believe him when he calls you that? god, you have to, he’s too obsessed with you for it to even be questionable if he thinks you’re pretty.
he practically drags you to bed, sits down on the edge and pulls you onto his lap, fingers immediately between your legs, feeling that familiar wetness that he loves, pressing down on your clit with his thumb.
“good girl, just like that… grind on my hand, let yourself feel good,” he murmurs, “this is about you, so be selfish, baby. take what you want from me.”
he likes how needy you get because maybe, just maybe, that means you need him just as badly as he needs you. it soothes him, in a way.
“i’ll fill you up nice and full later, but for now… just sit here with me… just let me touch you, pretty, i’ll make you feel good.”
and you just curl up into him, holding onto his shoulder for support as takes every whine and moan and absolutely devours them. his fingers have gotten rougher over the years, but that roughness feels good when he’s rubbing figure eights on your clit, fingers moving in circular motions inside your pretty pussy, bringing you to closer orgasm sooner than you thought. he’s just that good.
“there you go, princess. just feel it all. just close your eyes… and feel me against you,” he whispers, “you’re so cute when you’re feeling good. well, you’re always cute, but you know what i mean.”
“leon…” your whiny voice is met with a chuckle from him.
“hm?”
“i’m gonna cum…” you mumble, resting your head in the crook of his neck again, must be your favorite spot.
he likes that you don’t ask permission because why would you? he’d never deny you, not pleasure nor anything else you want in life. no, you say it like a warning, like a don’t you dare stop kind of warning. he wouldn’t dare.
“c’mon, pretty. let yourself have it,” he mumbles, lips almost touching your ear, that’s how close they are.
leon’s selfish, he can’t help it. he makes you orgasm because he wants to give you pleasure, sure, but he’s also doing it because he loves watching you cum. not so much right now, with your head buried away, but he likes seeing your orgasm face, he likes that you shut your eyes tightly and your eyebrows furrow and your mouth hangs open just slightly. you’re so pretty when you cum.
if he’s being honest, he should have made you look at him when you came, but he knows you were feeling a little shy today so he didn’t push.
and the feeling of your cunt clenching on his fingers turns him on beyond belief. he feels the pressure of the orgasm, and he knows it’s a big one, so of course he helps you through it, fucking his fingers as deep as possible, loving the achy moans that escape your throat. you’re not super loud but you’re also right by his ear so he hears every gasp and moan and whimper as you cum for him. he adores you so painfully.
“there you go, good girl…” he whispers, cradling you close as you both fall back against the bed, holding each other as the wetness on his hand starts to dry but your body still pulses with a reminder of how much pleasure just flooded through you.
it’s almost too paralyzing to speak, and you make pretty little sounds as you shift to get comfortable that make leon’s heart jump. he holds your waist as you lay half on top of him.
he looks at your face, radiant with a comfortable glow you’ve been missing this whole time. in his arms, in your shared bed, it’s safe and soft and leon holds you close with no intentions of letting go.
“should we…” he starts, and you lift your head slightly to look at him as he speaks, “cancel our dinner reservations? order in, we’ll get whatever my sweet lover wants, and we can just stay in bed all night?”
you can’t help but giggle, “yeah. i wanna keep kissing you for at least another hour.”
“yes, ma’am.”
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siredtosturniolos · 2 months
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drunk in love
paring: matt sturniolo x reader
summary: you and matt have been best friends for years, so what happens when you’re at a party and decide to confess your feelings for him?
warnings: mentions of drinking/being drunk, making out, sexual tension. (part 2 in the works ;)
“i need to call matt,” you whined desperately to your friends as you leaned against the bathroom sink. following girl code, when one of you needed to use the restroom, the rest followed in order to stay safe.
“you can’t call matt right now.” your friend laughed, turning away from you as she dried off her hands. you didn’t like this response so you quickly pulled out your phone, and exited the bathroom.
ignoring your friends yelling after you, you stumble down the hallway and making your way down the stairs, so you could get to the backyard in hopes of finding somewhere quiet so you could call your best friend.
he knew you were going out tonight, and had offered to pick you up if you wanted to leave before your friends did. you weren’t ready to leave, more so just wanted to talk to your best friend as he was racing through your mind.
as he usually does.
you quickly find his contact and press the call option bringing the phone to your ear. you didn’t know what you were going to say when he picked up, and silently prayed you weren’t bothering him.
“hello?” matt answered the phone slightly confused, as you’d only been gone for a little bit over an hour. He expected you to call later than this so now he was worried.
“is everything okay?” matt questioned you, after waiting a couple seconds of getting no reply.
“yes, everything‘s fine.” you replied, exasperated, wishing he was there with you and that he was with you. drinking always made you feel more bold, and you knew at some point this was bound to happen, so might as well let it flow as you’re ready to confess your feelings.
“i have to tell you something, matt.” you spoke confidently into the line, catching his attention as he was previously focused on his video game in front of him.
“okay,” he replied, instantly suspicious of your tone of voice. “what is it?” he closed out of the game so he could solely focus on what you had to say.
“i’m falling in love with you.” you blurted out, your cheeks flushing deeper as you realize what you just confessed. matt remained silent on the other side of the phone as your heart dropped out of your chest, and embarrassment flooded your body.
you decided to carry on with your confession, figuring you have nothing else to lose, “i should’ve said i am in love with you. i know i have fallen in love with you over the years and i just can’t keep it to myself anymore. i’m constantly breaking my own heart, trying to get over you when I would rather get under you.”
matt gasped at your confession, his pulse racing as he never thought he’d hear those words fall from your lips. he instantly sprung into action, grabbing his keys and slipping on his shoes on his he made his way out to his car.
“i’m coming to get you.” he announced before hanging up on you, leaving you staring at your phone confused.
“what are you doing out here?” your friend asked as she as she stood in the back doorway holding two solo cups, offering one out to you. you quickly approached her, and instantly started chugging it, craving to forget the sinking feeling in your chest as you assumed matt didn’t feel the same with how little he said.
the liquid courage flooded your veins once again, and you completely forgot about the phone call with matt. you and your group of friends were currently dancing along to some rap song when you feel hands slip around your waist and drag you away from them.
you spin on your heel to meet matt’s blue eyes as he looked down at you questionably.
“how much have you had to drink tonight?” he asked you, as his hand into yours as he guided you out of the party.
“i dunno know,” you replied, “i stopped counting after five.” you offered a guess to him, making him nod in response.
he helped you get into the passenger seat of his car, going as far as buckling the seatbelt for you making your heart race at such an intimate position. you couldn’t help but take a deep inhale humming at the scent of matt’s cologne.
he quickly walked around the car, climbing into the driver seat and began driving you back to his house. the ride was silent, the soft vocals of steve lacy playing distracting you from matt, who was nervously glancing in your direction every so often.
once he parks his car in the garage, he’s instantly out and helping you out of the car, tightly gripping your waist as he helps you make your way into the house. you giggle as he practically carries you up the stairs to reach the main floor, matt hushing you once you pass by chris’s room, knowing that he was probably sleeping.
“let me grab some clothes for you to change into.” matt offers, leaving you to stand in the middle of his bedroom while he walks to his closet and pulls out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for you.
he held them out to you, as you just stared at his outstretched hand, slowly beginning to pout.
“can’t you help me change matty?” you asked meeting his eyes, that had undoubtedly widen significantly in surprise.
“i-i mean, yeah i can. i just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable is all.” he nervously replied, making you grin.
“oh matt, do i make you nervous?” you teased him slowly grabbing the bottom of your dress and tugging it upwards, making him instantly clench his eyes shut.
“how are you going to help me if your eyes are closed, matthew?”
matt let out as sigh as he opened his eyes and approached you quickly, trying to slip the shirt over your head before you stopped him.
“you have to unzip it first.” you explained, turning so your back was facing him and pulling your long hair over your shoulder.
matt remains silent, trailing his fingers up your back to reach the top of the dress to grab the zipper. his fingers slowly tugged the zipper down the material of your dress, his cold fingers softly brushing the exposed skin of your back, causing goosebumps to rise in his wake.
you kept your back towards matt as you peeled the straps down your arms, and he was quick to put the shirt over your head, and you slipped your arms through the holes.
matt tugged the dress from underneath the shirt softly, hands brushing your sides, and you had to suck in a breath to hold back moan. you stepped out of the dress, slightly stumbling as you still had your heels on.
“sit on the bed, and I can help you put the pants on.” matt spoke softly, seeming to be in a trance.
you did what he said and butterflies swarmed your stomach as he kneeled down in front of you, looking up as he unclipped your high heels from your ankles.
he slowly slid the sweatpants on, and you lifted your hips so he could pull them above your ass as he held intimate eye contact with you out of respect as you weren’t in the right state of your mind.
but he figured you wouldn’t mind either way, thanks to your confession earlier in the night.
“you tired?” matt murmured to you as he stood to his full height looking down at you. you shrugged in response as you scooted back to lean against his headboard, slipping underneath his silky covers.
“can we put a movie on?” you asked as you snuggled deeper into his sheets glancing at matt who had a smile on his face. he nodded as he turned the light off before joining you in bed and turning the tv on.
“what do you want to watch?” he asked as he flicked through the movies on netflix, trying to find something you both enjoy.
you giggled, “shrek.” you replied, making matt softly chuckle in response. he quickly found the movie and put it on before you knew it you had fallen asleep to one of your favorite comfort movies.
matt had a hard time falling asleep, your confession heavy on his mind. he realized you still had your makeup on, carefully getting up to get a makeup wipe from his bathroom. he gently began wiping your face, watching in amusement as you face twisted up at the cooling sensation.
you whined sleepily, trying to shove his hands away, “just a little longer baby.” matt froze as the pet name left his lips, waiting for you to open your eyes. he let out a breath of relief when you let out a soft snore, you were still asleep.
he quickly finished wiping your makeup off, laying back down next to you. eventually at some point he had fallen asleep, but only briefly. you had moved closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder and throwing one of your legs over his hip, and he couldn’t help but let his arm slither between you and the mattress hugging you even closer. softly smiling at the content sigh you let out in your sleep.
eventually, matt went to the living room to think about how he was going to also confess his feelings and see where it leaves the two of you. he knew the outcome was more than likely going to be good, but he couldn’t help but think that you weren’t in the right mind and you didn’t actually feel that way.
you woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, and the feeling of warm sunshine casting down onto you was making you feel more nauseous and sweaty than you expected to be.
you lifted your head and observed the room. you remembered coming home with matt, but the rest of the night was a blur. you carefully sat up just in time for matt to walk back into the room, holding a water bottle and a bottle of painkillers.
“hows the hangover kid?” he asked, a slight grin on his lips as you immediately reached for the bottle of water. you accepted the small pills matt handed you after you began drinking the water quickly taking them.
“god i hope i wasn’t too annoying last night.” you quietly laughed, not missing the look on matt’s face. “oh god i was horrible wasn’t i?”
matt didn’t reply, but he sat down next to you and refused to meet your eyes. one of nervous habits.
“you may have told me a big secret last night.” matt confessed, making your heart drop as the flashbacks suddenly hit you. you really should’ve listened to your friends and not called him.
“oh my god matt,” you whispered, horrified at the bits and pieces that were suddenly connecting.
“i’m so sorry if i made you uncomfortable last night, that was never my intention. and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same i just hope that we can continue being as close as we were before.”
“who said i didn’t feel the same?” matt replied, turning to finally face you as your jaw slightly dropped, and he grinned at the action.
“are you being for real right now?” you asked in disbelief, your eyes nearly popping out of your head as matt nodded with a grin on his face
“i’ve loved you for years now but i always thought you had a thing for chris, so i never did anything about it.” he admitted shrugging his shoulders. matt had a habit of thinking everything he wanted, chris would get first. you were determined to prove to him it was never chris, it was always him.
only him.
“okay that was insane,” you laughed, shaking your head slightly, “i’ve spent the last two years of my life loving you, matt.” you replied genuinely, as matt scooted closer to you.
he searched your eyes for a moment, looking for any signs of doubt, before leaning forward and connecting your lips to his. you instantly bring your hands to cup his face and pull him even closer to you. matt let out a groan out at the feeling, and let his hands explore your waist and squeezing lightly causing you to let a moan slip past your lips.
loud footsteps could be heard approaching matt’s door, and you both quickly pulled away just in time for nick to throw matt’s bedroom door open.
nick glanced between the two of you, before shaking his head, “can we go get breakfast? i’m not usually up this early and i’m starving, like actually.” he dramatically spoke, eyeballing matt as he was the only one with a drivers license.
matt glanced at you, knowing that the best cure for a hangover was greasy McDonald’s breakfast.
“yeah, we can go.” matt replied making you and nick grin.
“thank god,” nick sighed, “i’ll go wake up chris and see if he wants anything or wants to go.” nick walked away leaving the door open making you stand up as you needed to use the bathroom before you went anywhere.
you took a step away from the bed before matt softly gripped your wrist, making you turn to face him as he was still sitting on the bed.
“we can finish this later, right?” he asked, smirking up at you from his position. your heart raced at what he was implying, but you nodded anyways, and leaned down for one last kiss before you exited the room.
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whimsyfinny · 3 months
Text
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.
Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut
Warnings: None (Yet) in chapters to come there will be smut (and lots of it) and possible violence/blood/gore
Chapter Word Count: 668
—-MDNI—-
A/N: My first Supernatural fic so I hope it doesn’t suck ass. Only proof read by myself, so pls let me know of any errors so I can correct! Also I know at this point in the series Dean is more serious, however I love pre-Hell Dean so imma bring some of those vibes in here. This is also posted on my AO3.
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I’m Not Your F*ckng Maid
-Prologue-
Dean was awoken with a slam inches from his face and he sprung to life, almost losing his balance before he realised where he was. He’d fallen asleep at the table with his face in a book and surrounded by heaps of paper - many of which he hadn’t even started to read through yet. Blinking awake and gaining his bearings, he heard a familiar voice ring through the room.
”You boys are disgusting, how do you live like this?” The older Winchester finally looked up to see Charlie lifting a plate of half eaten, day-old pizza whilst kicking several beer bottles aside so she could pull out a chair and take a seat next to Dean, who was pinching the bridge of his nose.
”Yeah well, we’ve been a little busy recently if you haven’t noticed,” his voice was gravelly from the sleep. Charlie put down the plate of old food and sat down, worry crossing her face as she looked at the man next to her. She knew they’d been under a lot of pressure lately with their work, so much so that the brothers were starting to neglect themselves. It had been months since they’d eaten proper food that wasn’t instant or take-out, they rarely went outside, always locking themselves away in the bunker to do research and the bunker itself was getting cluttered with bin bags and pizza boxes. Not to mention the piles of laundry that she’s noticed slowly starting to form its own ecosystem in the washroom.
“Yeah I get that, but you really have to look after yourselves. When was the last time you ate a vegetable?”
Dean scoffed.
“Yesterday, obviously,” he gave her a look like she was from another planet, and she rolled her eyes.
“The pizza sauce doesn’t count, Dean.”
He looked puzzled, raising an eyebrow, “Why not?”
Before she could even humour him with an answer, Sam emerged, rubbing his eyes.
“Oh hey Charlie, when did you get here?” His voice was equally as gravelly as Deans, so she assumed he’d also just woken up.
“Five minutes ago.”
“She called us disgusting Sam. And she said the sauce on pizza isn’t made from vegetables,” Dean gestured to Charlie like she was the fool as he looked up at his younger brother who now stood across from him on the other side of the table. Sam went to open his mouth to respond, but closed it again quickly and furrowed his brows, clearly unsure how to reply to his older brother without opening a can of worms. Charlie huffed.
“You guys need to sort yourself out. I only dropped by because I hadn’t heard from you for a while and thought you might’ve worked yourself to death. I can’t stay long because I’m meeting a friend for a drink. She’s already at the diner waiting for me”
“A friend?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and the redhead smirked.
“I wish, sadly she’s into dudes,” she paused, a thought crossing her mind, “Come to think of it, she’s actually looking for work, you guys might be able to help.”
Dean and Sam shared a glance.
“She’s a hunter?” Sam asked.
“Not exactly. Her uncle was, so she knows about stuff, but from what I know she was just a research girlie,” Charlie peered at the mess of papers on the table, “and it looks like you could use the help.” She looked between the brothers as they stared at each other, like they were having some sort of unspoken conversation. A few moments passed before Dean slapped his hand on the table and stood up.
“Sure ok, but we’re coming with you today to meet her,” he went to grab his jacket from the back of his chair, an eagerness in his movements before Charlie put her hand out to stop him.
“Great!” She grinned, before raising her eyebrows and pointing to them both, “but first you guys have got to shower, because I can taste your BO from here.”
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Up Next
Chapter 1
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ranhaitanisgf · 4 months
Note
hi hana! congrats on 2k followers once again and if it’s not too much of a bother, i’d like to have a mikey fluff/crack “oblivious best friends” & “stuck together” scenario/hc (whichever works for you) where it was after school hours and everyone in toman is looking for mikey ☺️ i really hope this combination is something new skjdjsjss thank you in advance!! 💕
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—manjiro [mikey] sano // oblivious best friends // stuck together
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☆ ˎˊ˗ KATIEEE hiiii im sryyy i took sooooo long for this my disappearance from tumblr messed things up 😔 idk how i did on this tbh !! i hope youve been doing well !! and also ur idea was so cutee wahh i hope i did it justice !! xoxo
☆ ˎˊ˗ gn!reader
☆ ˎˊ˗ wc ; 1.5k+
masterlist || 2k masterlist
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“...mikey.” 
“yeah?” 
“how long are we gonna stay here?” the boy in front of you hummed, thinking for a moment as he swirled the lollipop in his mouth. 
“until they find us.” you sighed at him, leaning your head back against the wall. you could hear rapid footsteps in the hallway, people running around yelling mikey’s name, unaware of the fact that he was sitting in the classroom they just passed by. 
he hadn’t given you much explanation when he grabbed you and pulled you into the classroom, though you think you have a basic idea of what was going on; all you could say was, it was very mikey.
“so, what exactly is the point in hiding from everyone?” 
“it’s funny!” he grinned, crunching down on his lollipop. “but also ‘cause the doors in this classroom are broken; they only open from the outside, so i’ve been waiting for someone to come by and open them from the outside.”
“huh?! why’d you drag me in here then? wait, how did you even do that?” 
“i dunno, but i just saw you and it was boring here by myself.” he shrugged, not seeming to think it was a big deal. “aaand you’ve skipped out on the last couple of meetings, so i missed you.” he pouted, a childish look on his face. “where were you?!” 
“mikey, i told you weeks ago that i would be busy studying for exams…don’t you remember?” you sighed. “i even texted you before all the meetings that i wouldn’t be coming!” 
“whatever.” mikey said flippantly, the same pout still on his face. “you owe me snacks for not showing up.” 
“okay, okay, just stop making that face.” you said, pulling at mikey’s cheeks. “you’re making me look like a bad person.”
“oi, stahppp, it hurtsss!” he grumbled. you eventually relented, sighing as you looked around the classroom. 
“even being here with someone else is boring. can’t we just leave and go get food?” 
“but i’m testing them! they have to know how to find their leader!” mikey insisted, crossing his arms. 
“but you’re literally hiding from them on purpose. how are they supposed to find you?” 
“they can figure that out themselves!” 
“right…” you answered, giving up on trying to make him see reason. you really were hungry; you hadn’t eaten since you had that milk bread from lunch, which wasn’t a whole lot of food. “if you’re insisting on keeping us here, then you’re gonna pay for my meal after this.” 
“ken-chin will pay for it, but okay!” 
“no, you’re going to pay for it. i don’t care if you’re broke; you deserve to have no money for keeping me here.” 
“hey, that’s so mean!” 
“yeah, and you’re being mean right now by not letting us go so i can eat. i ought to just-” you stood up from where the two of you were sitting to avoid being seen, “-let them see me and then tell them where you are!” mikey’s eyes widened, motioning for you to sit back down, but you stood firm, not moving from your spot. 
“oi, sit down! they have to find me on their own!” 
“no! this is ridiculous! i’m hungry and i shouldn’t have to be kept at school any longer-agh!” while you were talking, mikey grabbed your hand, pulling you down with a surprising amount of strength, making you lose your balance and topple over. 
“urgh, what the hell-...” you suddenly cut off your words when you realized the position you were in. 
because mikey had been sitting right next to your standing form, you had fallen right on top of him, the space between your faces being very small as the two of you stared at each other. the space between your bodies was even less, and you swore that he could feel your quickening heartbeat from how close the two of you were, (you didn’t even want to think about how you could feel the warmth from his body right now). 
you knew that you should probably be clambering off of him right now and bonking him on the head for pulling you down so hard, but for some reason, your body was frozen, not knowing what to do. on the one hand, you knew you probably shouldn’t be staying here for so long, but on the other hand, you wanted him to do or say something, anything, to make you think that he wasn’t just an oblivious teenage boy, (how could he have not noticed your feelings this whole time?!)
“(y/n)...” he whispered, his breath fanning against your cheeks due to your close proximity. 
“y-yeah?” 
“can you get off? you’re kinda heavy.” at his words, you immediately scrambled off of him, your heart beating a million beats per minute, this time due to embarrassment. as soon as he got up, you slapped the back of his head, making him yell a loud ‘ow!’. 
“that’s what you get for pulling me so hard, asshole! i don’t get why you’re so adamant about staying here!” you yelled, feeling more shame and embarrassment than anger. you leaned your head back against the wall, wondering why you thought that anything would be different this time. 
it’s not normal for best friends to have feelings for each other, so why were you mad at him? 
this time, you felt the silence between the two of you to be unbearable, almost enough to make you scream with frustration. you didn’t though, instead choosing to just have your own internal monologue until you could make it out of the classroom. 
“(y/n)-chan? what’s wrong?” 
“nothing, i’m just tired as fuck. wake me up when we get found or whatever.” you murmured, laying down on the floor, not caring about the dust and first getting on your uniform. maybe if you laid down like this, the earth would swallow you up and save you from this embarrassment. 
you weren’t sure how much time passed like that, though you were sure that the silence filled the room for quite a while, only being interrupted by draken and takemichi’s yells in the hallway. suddenly, you heard some shuffling, wondering if maybe mikey was going to give up and let the two of you finally be found. 
you’d already gone too long pretending to be asleep, so even though you wanted to see what mikey was doing, you didn’t make a peep even when you could feel him getting closer to you. 
what is he doing? 
your question was answered just a moment later when you felt his hand on your cheek, brushing some of your hair out of your face, (you were hoping that your cheeks weren’t getting flushed right about now). 
“hm, i was able to hold back this time, but you really test me sometimes, (y/n).” after that, you felt his hand pull away, leaving you in much more confusion than before. what in the world was he talking about? 
a few minutes later, you heard him opening the window to the classroom, yelling for draken. when he arrived, he started chewing mikey out for disappearing for so long, which was when you decided to ‘wake up’. 
“hmm, you finally decided to give up that little stunt, mikey?” you asked, standing up and rubbing your eyes to make it seem like you were actually sleeping. “took you long enough.” 
“it got more boring sitting there since you fell asleep.” mikey answered, shrugging his shoulders. he kept the same lighthearted expression on his face as he started to get another earful from draken.
“you did this on purpose?! we’ve got stuff to do!!” he yelled, his face twisted in frustration. “it’s been a whole goddamn hour!!” 
“sorry, sorry.” 
you walked away from the two over to the door, trying to open it just to see. much to your surprise, it opened up, not showing any sign of the locked issue that mikey had claimed it’d had earlier. 
when you looked over at him, all he did was shrug, a smug smirk on his face. 
“you little shit! it was open this whole time?! i’m gonna actually kill you this time!!” you yelled, running at mikey. he swiftly dodged you and went out the door behind you, running into the hallway to get away from you. 
“catch me if you can!!” you heard him tease in the distance, fueling your anger even more. 
“when i catch you, it’s so over for you!!” you shouted, sprinting out of the classroom after him. 
as you chased him, he looked back at you, laughing and saying something that you couldn’t catch. despite the fact that you were acting so mad at him right now, you couldn’t help but admire how the light from the sunset reflected off of his skin, highlighting his playful smile and blonde locks bouncing in the air. 
you supposed that this was fine, for now. 
(mikey ended up paying for your entire meal out of his own pocket, leaving him with 200 yen to his name).
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writerblue275 · 5 months
Text
Heartsteel with an insecure plus-size partner (18+)
Inspiration: This is extremely self-indulgent, but I haven’t been feeling great about myself lately and I need a little reminder that I am, in fact, a sexy and beautiful bad bitch. Anyone else who needs a reminder, this one is for you too. We’re beautiful no matter what.
Champions: Heartsteel
Genre: Headcanons
Category: Like 98% Fluff with some implied smut/suggestiveness so (18+ ONLY. Minors DNI)
Gender: Gender Neutral Reader
TW: Swearing. Suggestive stuff. Self-thought body negativity at points and brief mentions of disordered eating behaviors.
Context: In this instance, reader feels bad about themselves for being curvy and this is how the boys would respond. Just remember, we’re all beautiful. Let’s take care of ourselves like the boys would want us to.
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All of them:
If someone specific made you feel bad about yourself?
Like they said something rude or nasty to you?
They better count their fucking days.
None of these men will stand for someone making their partner feel bad about themselves.
They’d make sure there was a RECKONING.
*Approving nod* Go get ‘em, boys.
If you do decide to lose weight at some point, they’re making sure it’s for the right reasons (ex: quality of life health adjustment and not just because you want to be skinnier to look more attractive.) and they’re also making sure you’re doing it the right way. The safe way. Because damnit they love you and always want you to be happy and safe.
As long as it’s for the right reasons and you’re doing it safely, they’ll be your biggest supporters. Like the biggest hype men. As well as the best comfort if things are a bit rough. They’ve got your back.
Aphelios
Said it before and will say it again: “The quiet ones are always the most perceptive.”
He absolutely notices when you frown at yourself a little in the mirror, when you take a bit longer to find something to wear, when you murmur something self deprecating about your appearance, or when you intentionally skip a meal (his absolute least favorite).
He knows when you don’t feel good about yourself and it makes him sad because he always sees you as beautiful and attractive.
And it’s hard on him because he really can’t be super vocal about how he sees you, at least in public because people are loud.
But when you two are cuddling or just having quiet time by yourselves when you’re getting ready together, and you can hear him when he does talk, then in those times when you feel bad about yourself, he’s just the sweetest bean omg.
Whispering/murmuring the sweetest and loveliest things to you about how amazing you look.
Like he’d really compliment you to high heaven. Especially if there’s an area that you’re super self conscious about. Ex: “I love those shorts on you, cutie. They show off your amazing legs.”
As for the meals, he’s gently making sure you’re eating. He wants you happy and sated.
I’ve said before that he’s the master of sexting and I fully believe he’d send you texts (both spicy and not) randomly, just letting you know how attractive he thinks you are and that you’re on his mind.
When he does send spicy texts complimenting his favorite parts of you? I hope you’re not around anyone because you will be turning bright red. This quiet moon man is shockingly explicit.
Ezreal
Do I think he’s as perceptive as Phel or some of the others? Maybe not, but I do believe Ez would notice if you’re quieter/down as well as notice your upset glances in the mirror.
It is fucking inconceivable to him when you tell him you don’t find yourself attractive at times.
Like WHAT??? How can that be??? You’re literally perfection to him. And he has excellent taste so…
Compliments compliments COMPLIMENTS. Holy shit he’d shower you with so many lovely compliments anytime you don’t feel good about yourself.
We also know even Heartsteel Ez is a huge history nerd (fuck YEAH I have a history minor so I love this).
When you tell him you don’t feel beautiful, he’d go through so many different civilizations of history and talk about how you fit their ideal standards of beauty. And so to him, you’re always timelessly attractive.
Would pull up artwork (for example, Titian’s “Venus of Urbino”) and texts to make his point. (This is so hot lmao. I blame being an honors kid and going to grad school. We stan an academic king omfg. I feel like he secretly has a masters degree [hehe welcome to the club, Ez].)
And while I primarily think his affection would be shown through compliments (I just see him as so chatty) I definitely think he’d also use at least some touch to make his point.
Like he’d rest his head on your thighs or tummy because you’re just perfect to cuddle with after a long day. Or he’d let his hands, eyes, lips linger on his favorite parts of you (your thighs, your tummy, your ass/hips) just to make his point clear: while you may not love these parts of you all the time, he ABSOLUTELY does.
Kayn
Very similar to Ez where he just cannot wrap his mind around the fact that you don’t see yourself as incredible and sexy at all times like he sees you. And when you tell him a lot of your insecurity stems from being plus-size, that befuddles him even more.
Member #1 of the “That just means more for me to love, baby” club.
When he hears you say these things about yourself, he almost takes it as a little bit of a challenge for himself to better show you that you are in fact, sexy and attractive as FUCK. And it’s a challenge he fully plans on succeeding at.
One of the ones I can picture using primarily physical touch in order to emphasize how sexy he sees you.
I’ve said it before but I fully believe physical touch is one of his love languages (at LEAST giving if not both giving and receiving.)
If you’re talking poorly about yourself, he will kiss you to make you shush. And it’s not a simple peck either. No no no. It’s a full “make-you-breathless” kiss.
And once he’s finally stunned you silent and turned your cheeks pink, he will lean over and murmur why he loves every single part of you that you were talking bad about.
And it’s not just PG reasons either. He’s getting DETAILED. I’ve said before he’s the dirty talk king. He’ll say things like how he loves your hips because they’re just perfect for him to grab onto when he’s fu- (I need to stop before I go off the rails lmao).
And believe me, he’s more than happy to show you what he means. Will gladly drag you home or to somewhere private.
He’d really keep an eye out for when you’re feeling down about yourself and he’d work to shut it down immediately. You’re perfect to him and he will let you KNOW.
K’Sante
K’Sante would be fucking ELITE for this omg.
One of the hardest parts about having a plus-size body is dressing it in a way that is stylish and still unique.
Goodness fucking knows so many plus-sized clothes have no semblance of shape to them whatsoever. Very potato sack.
But you’re with the main fashion icon himself. You have yourself a killer personal stylist (with amazing kisses and lovins to go along with it).
He’s never going to let you look bad. No matter the vibe, no matter the occasion, he’s gonna help you pull an A+ fit together.
And he’s going to explain why each piece works well for your body, so when you go shopping by yourself, you know what to look for.
Always throwing out compliments about how you make an outfit look so good (very intentionally worded this way and not the other way around).
He wants you to understand it’s the person who makes the clothes, not the clothes that make the person. You’re the reason that outfit looks absolutely stunning.
If you ever did want to start working out, I think K’Sante would be an excellent guide. Gyms are fucking intimidating, and I think he realizes that. So he’d give you the full walkthrough and help you figure out what to do on machines and stuff so you don’t accidentally hurt yourself.
And even though we know Sett is the best cook, I’m still convinced K’Sante is also a great cook so he’d make you the best meals omg. Well balanced, delicious as fuck, and filled with a whole lot of love.
Sett
I think it genuinely would make him sad when he realizes your insecurities. Even if you don’t tell him outright, I think he’s very observant and is another member who would see the small things you do that indicate your insecurities with your body.
Member #2 of the “that just means more for me to love” club.
Never too heavy for him so don’t even ask. You’ve seen this man’s muscles. To him, you’re always as light as a feather.
And his compliments? Shit he’d have some of the SWEETEST compliments. And when he sees you feeling down, he wouldn’t skimp on them. He doesn’t skimp on them normally, but now he’s even more complimentary and flirty with you. Like lowkey you have a blush 24/7.
Ok, so I’ve previously ranked Sett as one of the most romantic members of Heartsteel. And I still hold firm that one of his love languages is acts of service (giving). Part of that is cooking. We know he’s the best cook of the group.
And similar to Kayn I also think he’d use physical touch (almost as an act of service) to show his partner he finds them beautiful/attractive/sexy.
That combo? Fuck that’s an elite combo right there. Everything he does, he does with the intent to make you feel loved, happy and as sexy, stunning, and perfect as he sees you.
Gently wandering hands while cuddling, hand on thigh while he drives, hand in the back pocket of your jeans when in line together, hugs from behind, whispered compliments, and neck kisses when you’re getting ready and dressed.
And of course there are the even more personal moments of physical affection. Like marking any area he senses you might be uncomfortable with or hears you talking bad about. We’re talking those parts LITTERED with hickeys here. Because damnit he loves your tummy and your thighs and marking them is his private way of letting you know that. And tbh it feels pretty nice…
An interesting little thing: I absolutely think Sett would encourage you to maybe step out of your comfort zone just a little bit and do something to help you see yourself as sexy. For example, I think he’d be happy to pay/provide what you need for a boudoir photo shoot with an amazing photographer who knows what they’re doing and rizzes you up. (Those seem so fun omg I lowkey want to do one so bad.) And if you gift him with a print of your favorite photo (or even better, a photo book with all your favorite photos) for like his birthday or something? A. He’s glad you see yourself as sexy just as he does. B. Enjoy not leaving bed for like the entire weekend. 😉
Yone
Again, Yone is a member that is just mind-bogglingly perceptive. Over the tiniest things. (The quiet ones y’all, for real.)
Another one who absolutely sees when you don’t look at yourself kindly in the mirror, when you touch your tummy or hips with a frown, when you try and suck in for photos, or when you’re letting yourself be hungry.
He fucking hates it because in his eyes, you’re the most attractive person there is. No one is more attractive than you are.
Murmurs to you the sweetest compliments in passing whenever he can. I believe this man’s experience with lyric writing makes him a god damn poet when it comes to getting his feelings across. It’s one of the reasons I ranked him the most romantic member.
If he notices you looking at yourself unkindly in the mirror, he will come over and wrap his arms around you from behind, smiling gently as he compliments you, especially complimenting the areas he noticed you looking negatively at. He won’t stop either until he feels you relax back against him and he sees a small smile at least.
We’ve previously discussed my belief that Yone is secretly a cuddle fiend. Like in public he is so stoic and serious (fair though, he’s dealing with his band mates **cough cough** Kayn and Ez **cough cough**).
But in private, he’s a damn koala. And he’ll always pull you onto his lap and let you know that you’re perfect to cuddle with, exactly how you are. Prepare to be trapped in some amazing cuddles for the next long while.
Honestly, yes all of the members would be scary if someone insulted your looks, but I think Yone would be the most terrifying to have to deal with. I would never want to be on his shit list.
Likes to eat with you whenever he can. A. You’re a lot calmer than his band mates like 95% of the time and this man needs some god damn peace. And B. It’s a way for both of you to take care of each other. You can make sure he eats (since god knows he spends hella hours in the studio and often forgets) and he can make sure you get some good food in you too. I bet he’d bring home stuff that Sett or K’Sante made, especially if he knows it’s one of your favorites. (He’d absolutely have them draw a fun little doodle on a note to make you smile.)
Just an angel of a partner who refuses to let you feel so dark about yourself when you make his world so bright.
Thank you for reading! I must say, this definitely made me feel better about myself by the end. I hope everyone remembers that you’re perfect the way you are!
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katnissmellarkkk · 9 months
Note
tis I with a prompt: I request the first time post war Katniss lets Peeta into her bed again 🥺
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AN : wrote this the night you sent the prompt but I absolutely hated it until now. I finally got around to cleaning this up a bit and now I think it’s cute? Lemme know, all of y’all, if you like it! And my writing muscles are rusty so send me a prompt if you like, to try and work me out please! Can’t make any promises about what’ll trigger my brain but I can sure try! Anywaysss hope y’all enjoy this lil post-mockingjay-pre-epilogue drabble here!
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I watch with dread as Peeta scrubs away the last bit of sauce still dried to his plate.
“You really don’t have to do that,” I murmur halfheartedly from where I lean against the counter, watching him.
“It’s rude to not wash your own plate after dinner,” he says, his tone somewhat coy. He’s teasing me, I realize. He’s maybe even flirting with me but I can’t be sure and even if I could, I wouldn’t know what to make of it.
“I never wash mine after eating at your house,” I mumble, mostly to myself. I know he doesn’t care about cleaning off my plate for me. I know that he knows that I don’t mind washing his plate either.
But I don’t push the point and neither does he. Because we’re both stalling the inevitable.
It’s past ten at night and it’s time for Peeta to go home now. This time comes every day and we should be more prepared for it by this point, but every single night when the sun has long since left the sky and you can barely make out five feet in front of you without a flashlight, Peeta walks out the front door and my chest aches, as he disappears out into the night.
Ask him to stay, a tiny voice that sounds weirdly like both Haymitch and my mother — at the same exact time — pressures me.
But my tongue won’t cooperate and I can’t make the words form on my lips and I feel my stomach flip as I stutter out an awkward goodbye instead.
“Goodnight, Katniss,” Peeta says evenly, his face smooth and peaceful and totally level as he reaches out and squeezes my hand before moving to grab his coat.
He’s walking towards the door and I feel the familiar dread — the dread that’s been my constant companion for longer than I care to remember — rise up in my stomach and for a split second I want to reach out and grasp his elbow. For a split second I want to grab onto him and stop him from leaving.
And for a moment I plan to ask him to stay, to come upstairs with me, to get into his pajamas and brush his teeth by my side at the sink, to crawl beneath the sheets and hold me until we hear birds begin to chirp with the morning light. In that moment I plan to ask him to do exactly what we used to do on the train, exactly what we used to do every single night, back before everything between us completely shattered beyond recognition.
My hand drops midair before I can make the contact with his arm but it catches his attention just the same.
“What’s wrong?” He inquires, his face becoming concerned.
“Nothing,” I brush off tightly. Instead of saying what I’m thinking, instead of saying what I want, I just force a smile and lightly graze his hand. “Get home safe.”
At that, he shoots me a bemused look. “I live three houses from you. Somehow I think I’ll be fine.”
I nod and chuckle as he leaves, as he disappears into the night, making the shortest of journeys home, unwittingly leaving me to dwell in regret for all the things I wish I’d just come out and said.
As soon as the door shuts between us regret the size of an elephant lands on my chest.
And I know, without a doubt, this is going to be one bad night for me.
-
The funny thing about my nightmares is they never lose their edge. Not with time, not with practice, not with comparison. I’ve seen Cato get eaten by the mutts hundreds of times. I’ve watched Clove stab me with her knives and Brutus chase me through the jungle and Enobaria break my neck with one hand, more than I could possibly count.
I’ve witnessed my sister detonate, as if I’m still standing right there, in the city circle of the Capitol. I’ve witnessed it thousands of times since that day. I’ve witnessed it more often than I’ve managed to actually sleep since that day.
And it never gets easier. It never becomes routine. I’m never ever prepared for it.
Instead I’m left paralyzed as the same dreams plague me over and over and over again.
Other things do change though. I used to thrash around, kicking and screaming as the dreams tortured me for minutes on end. I used to wake up, sweat covered and coiled up in my bedding, trapped in a physical sense that only manages to make my dreams even more intense somehow.
But over time something shifted and somehow, between the bomb that killed my sister and taking down Coin and the trial I scarcely remember, the thrashing stopped and the walking began.
For months now, I’ve woken to find myself in strange rooms, in small crawl spaces I didn’t know existed, inside cupboards and beneath beds no one’s ever used in guest rooms I barely recognize.
But I’ve never found myself outside before. Never, in all the time I’ve dealt with these dreams, have I ever once ended up in my front lawn.
Never, in my wildest imagination, did I picture myself waking from my nightmare, facedown in some dirt, ripping grass from the ground as I let out a rabid scream.
“Katniss,” I hear a voice softly murmur, like speaking to an injured fawn, terrified of scaring them away. “Katniss, it’s okay.”
And my lips cry for the voice before my brain fully recognizes it. “Peeta?”
“It’s just me,” he says, and I feel his hands grasp the tops of my arms, gently pulling me upright. “It’s only me.”
I pry my swollen eyes open and take in Peeta’s kind, worried face, mere inches away from mine.
“You’re here?” I croak, still groggy and confused. “What’s going on?”
“You were having a nightmare,” he explains, thumbing away my tears as more come pouring out. “But it’s over now. It was just a dream. You’re okay.” His hand cups my cheek softly, holding the weight of my head.
I nod plaintively, my body still completely exhausted despite the fact I was just asleep. “I’m okay,” I try to say but all that comes out is a guttural raspy sound and I watch as his face softens even more.
“Come on. Let’s get you inside,” he whispers, offering me his hand.
I take it without question, but find that I’m not upright for long. The moment I’m standing, my bare feet touching the dewy grass, Peeta bends down and scoops me up in his arms.
I don’t question it though. Maybe secretly I wanted him to do that. I definitely didn’t want to wait around to see if Haymitch came outside, asking why I was screaming at this hour of the day.
Peeta carries me into the house as if I weigh as much as Buttercup, kicking the door shut behind him and walking over to the couch. He sits down with me on his lap and drops his arms, as if to let me decide the next move. I could either crawl away from him, put some distance between us, or I could remain where I am.
To me, the choice barely takes any consideration.
I curl up closer to him, the images from the dream still too fresh to handle alone. I press my face into his neck and fold myself into him and hope he reciprocates in kind.
It doesn’t take more than a second for him to respond. As soon as I initiate it, he’s there, pulling me tighter, cradling me against him, rocking me back and forth like I’m something precious to behold.
“It’s okay,” he repeats again and again and again, as if we entered a time warp and we’re back on the train, back in the Capitol in our little apartment, sharing a bed, guarding against nightmares we stupidly thought would be the height of our troubles. “I have you, Katniss. I won’t let anything hurt you now.”
I cry into the collar of his shirt, drained and shaking and still half-crazed, feeling slightly better only when his fingers begins to smooth my hair away from my face.
“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Peeta whispers gently, his hand moving from my hair to my lower back, rubbing soft, soothing circles there to alleviate my trembling.
Time begins to pass. My tears dwindle to nothing. I feel the shaking come to an end. Every last ounce of energy I have left seeps from my body. My eyes grow heavy.
And pretty soon, I feel myself lifted once again, into strong, protective arms, cradling me like a baby as they carry me up the stairs and down to the end of the hall.
I’m tucked into bed gently, with the utmost care. The covers are brought up to my chin, my hair is brushed off my forehead and his fingers lightly dance upon my cheek. But it’s not enough. I still crave more.
“Don’t leave me,” I whisper, and my voice still isn’t mine, it’s someone else, someone who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants. For who she wants to lay beside her in the darkness.
“Okay,” he murmurs and it sounds like a promise but as he sits down on the side of my bed and takes my hand in his, planting a soft kiss upon the back of it, I know he doesn’t understand what I’m truly asking.
“No, Peeta, that’s not what I meant,” I say, shaking my head, before pushing the covers back. “Can you get in? Can you stay with me?”
I don’t really grasp my word choice and all the underlying meanings until it’s already slipped out and too late to take back again.
But I only have a moment to be filled with regret. Because that’s how long it takes Peeta to slide in beside me.
And as I curl into him, wrapping my leg around his waist, burrowing my face in the curve of his neck, basking in the feeling of utter safety and happiness that I have never, ever found in another pair of arms, he whispers the only thing that could erase my chagrin.
“Always.”
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ramp-it-up · 10 months
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Sugar Sugar
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Summary: You chose Bucky. But now he’s going 5000 miles away. And you were not consulted. Steve is right there and it’s his birthday. The competition isn’t over.
Word Count: 2.5K
Pairings: College grad Steve x Grad School Reader; College grad Bucky x Grad School Reader (Not Stucky); Various Marvel MCU Characters (in same age except for Stark) x Reader (platonic)
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Not Beta’d. Read at your own risk. Roommate au, S MUT! Lovers quarrel before action starts, angst, flirting, Tony being Tony, lowkey voyeurism, a lil bit of fluff. drinking, flirting, crushes, an unsanctioned birthday picnic, ‘borrowed’ champagne, birthday “kisses” 😏, oral s ex (f receiving), cheating (maybe. possibly)
A/N: This is a sequel to last year’s Sugar. I know! 😫 I hope you like it.
I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
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You were sipping your blueberry tequila smash and staring moodily across the water. It was supposed to be a festive day and an even better night, but that insanely handsome and inconsiderate roommate/boyfriend of yours ruined it all.
Or rather, you ruined it, thinking that you would be any different than any of the other girls he’d smashed and passed on. So what it had lasted a year? Bucky was leaving you now, so cheers to wasted time.
You downed the rest of your drink in one gulp as you thought to get another when someone cleared their throat beside you.
You glanced over to see your boss standing beside you, resplendent in a white suit and sunglasses. You straightened up and ran your free hand over your white mini sundress with blue polka dots and greeted him.
“Oh! Hello, Mr. Stark. This party is so nice. Great way to celebrate the Fourth!”
You plastered on a fake smile and aimed it at him. He smiled back at you.
“Cut the shit, Sugar. I know you’re not that happy. I saw you and Barnes had words and he stalked out. I warned you about fraternization.”
Your stomach dropped and you just knew that you would be fired and kicked out of Stark house, losing your graduate fellowship. Shit. Stark knew everything, even the nickname that your roommates, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers had given you.
“Oh that? That was nothing, just a roommate disagreement.”
Stark leaned in. He smelled good. Real good. He smelled….rich.
“Listen. That rule is not because I mind co-workers getting it on…” 
He paused and winked at you, and instead of being creepy, it was funny, so you laughed. 
“It’s because most people, especially young people like you, can’t do it without all the feels.”
He nodded and you turned to see Wanda and Vis sneaking off around the house, hand in hand.
“That’s going to lead to heartbreak,” he said, indicating the sneaky couple.
Then looked you in the eyes. 
“And you’re going to be all twisted up into knots between those two grunts if you’re not careful.”
You looked at him quizzically.
“Two grunts?”
Stark sighed and raised his hand.
“You need to lay off the red, white, and blue drinks, Sugar.”
He looked you up and down and you don’t know if it was the drinks, but you weren’t mad at him. He was kind of charming.
“Barnes and Rogers. Part of the reason I keep you around, besides the fact that your IQ is within 20 points of mine, is the increased productivity around them when you are together. Competition is a wonderful thing for business.”
When the server appeared, he grabbed an elegant looking red drink.
“But lately productivity is falling. Hence Barnes’ new offer. It had to be done, Sugar. Now we all can concentrate on the work ahead.”
You frowned at what he was saying, not giving voice to your feelings on that subject. Stark sighed again and shook his head as he handed the drink to you, despite what he said earlier.
“Kir Royale.”
You accepted it and took a sip. Then you looked up at Stark.  You were beginning to think that he might have been pretty cute when he was younger.
“I was Sugar, and I’m a handsome devil now.”
You gasped and put your hand over your mouth as he winked and walked away, not knowing you’d said that out loud. You watched him walk away as he commented over his shoulder. 
“Nice dress, Sugar. It’s making several people all hard, soft, and wet.”
You gasped again, looking down. The dress covered everything, and you didn’t know what he was talking about. You turned toward the river and the afternoon sun again, finally realizing.
The sun was shining through your dress and everyone behind you could see everything you had to offer. And you hadn’t worn any underwear because you came with Bucky.
You quickly made your way down the lawn to the edge of the hedge maze to put the greenery at your back and to watch the water in privacy. Irritation was on the edge of your brain, but the drinks were making everything mellow. 
So what, your boyfriend had accepted a position in Romania for a year?
So what, you couldn’t go with because you’d won a coveted Stark fellowship that extended your housing and salary into while you studied in graduate school at NYU?
So what, Bucky didn’t consult you before committing himself?
So what, you were an idiot who thought you could have happily ever after?
You jumped at a noise behind you. You wheeled around and were stopped in your tracks.
“Hey Sugar.”
Steve was there, with a strange look on his face, but his bright blue shirt was making those eyes pop.
“Oh. Hullo Steve.” 
You pouted at him and he almost fell to his knees. 
Things had been different with you and Steve since you and Bucky had gotten together last year. You were still friends, but he kept you at arms length. You didn’t think much about it, because you’d been wrapped up in your relationship, but as you looked at him now, the guilt hit you full force.
“Oh shit, Cap! It’s your birthday!”
His Lacrosse moniker flew from your lips as you threw yourself into his arms for a hug. Steve was caught off guard and stumbled backward, but managed to break your fall with his body. His hard body. 
“Thank you. You remembered.”
You were both laughing as you untangled from each other on the ground.
“Of course I did! I’m your bestie, right?” 
You gave him your bightest smile.
“Bestie. Right.” 
Steve thought of the innocent kiss you’d shared last year. He thought of it every day, in fact. But you were Bucky’s girl. He looked at you and grinned. You made him so happy. You and Bucky were his only family, so he was glad to be with you today, if only for a moment. 
“I see you were trying to be alone. I’ll leave you be.”
The sight of you made him weak, so he made to leave before he said something stupid. Then, he felt your hand grab his.
“Just where do you think you’re going, Mister?”
“Ummm…?”
“Um, nothing! We’re going to celebrate your birthday in style, Bestie.” 
Your eyes sparkled at him.
“Are you ready for your reconnaissance mission?”
—--
20 minutes later, you and Steve met in the same place, behind the hedges. He’d completed his mission with table cloth and a box full of some hor’s d'oeuvres from the party. Steve had charmed one of the servers in the kitchen.
He took you in, a mischievous look on your face and your arms behind your back. Your nipples were pointed right at him through your dress and his mouth went dry.
“What do you have there?”
Steve’s deep baritone and his raised eyebrow did something to you, but you shook it off as you brought your hands in front of you. Steve barked at your audacity.
You’d swiped a bottle of Stark’s Bollinger Vieilles Vignes Françaises from the bar and the entire top to the strawberry and blueberry five tier sponge cake that was on the buffet.
“Only the best for my bestie!”
Steve shook his head at you as you set up the picnic.
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You and Steve talked like you hadn’t in over a year. You ate and drank and just relaxed, bringing your old vibe back. Everything was perfect, even the beginning sunset across the water.
Until Steve complimented your dress.
“This is nice.” 
He took it in his hand to feel the fabric, bushing his fingertips along your thigh. You shivered and looked down at his hand, leaving Steve to marvel at your eyelashes across your cheeks. Then, you looked back up at him and reached up to feel his beard.
“So is this. Been meaning to tell you.”
Steve’s new-ish whiskers were somehow stiff, but soft, and you let your fingertips linger against his face, eyes drawn to his lips, made even more red by the strawberries off the cake. You licked yours unconsciously, thinking of that 7 minutes in heaven last summer.
“So… what do you want for your birthday?”
You reluctantly withdrew your hand from his face and sat back on your knees, hands on your thighs. For some reason, that made Steve hot and bothered. He considered you.
“Today has been great. The food, the drink, the cake.”
He grinned.
“”Great’, but not ‘Perfect.’” 
You cocked your head at him and Steve wanted his hands on you. 
“What would make it perfect?”
Steve grabbed the bottle of champagne and took a swig because you hadn’t gotten any glasses.
“It’ll never happen.”
Your interest was piqued.
“Never say never, Cap.”
Was Steve drunk, or was your voice more sultry? He shook his head, partially to clear it, and partially in denial.
“I think I can say never with confidence on this one.”
You got up on your knees and grabbed his arm.
“C’mon, please, please, please! It’s your birthday. I’ll do anything to make it happen, pleaaaseeeee!”
You bouncing up and down begging on your knees made Steve’s reserve snap.
“I want to kiss you.”
You stopped moving and your mouth hinged open. Then you licked your lips. 
“Ummmmmm….”
“That’s what I thought.”
Steve took another swig.
“Can’t do that. You’re Buck’s girl…”
Your reticence evaporated at the mention of James Barnes.
“Fuck Bucky.” 
And you threw yourself at Steve, causing him to drop the bottle, then blindly feel for it, making sure it was upright before pulling you into his lap.
The kiss was less innocent than the first, all lips, tongues and teeth, even biting as Steve sought to possess you. You found yourself grinding on Steve’s bulge as year old memories of what his casually swinging roommate cock looked like flashed through your mind.
Then you stopped, moved off Steve’s lap and lay back on the table cloth, eyes closed and hand on your heaving chest.
“That was great.”
You chuckled and smiled, eyes still closed. You missed Steve’s eyes roaming over your prone body.
“Great, but not perfect?”
“I wasn’t talking about kissing you on those lips….”
Your eyes flew open the now dark sky and you turned your head to see Steve lying next to you, a pained look on his face.
“Steve…”
“I know… but… damn Sugar… I’m down bad for you. Always have been.”
You looked into those baby blues and you knew it was true. 
“I….”
Instead of saying what you wanted to say, you shifted and pulled your dress up slowly, causing Steve’s eyes to follow every move, and an unconscious groan to escape from his lips. When you revealed your naked core to him, he got up on his knees.
“We’ve got to make your birthday perfect, now don’t we?”
Steve gulped.
“Oh, Sugar…Sugar…”
He looked up at you, eyes dilated.
“You sure…?”
“Kiss me, Stevie…”
You let your leg fall open, and Steve’s hands were on you, pulling you toward him as he leaned down toward your naked bottom. He put his hand under your thigh and propped it up and over his shoulder.
His hot breath against your pussy lips made you shudder. He looked up at you.
“I knew you’d be pretty everywhere.”
You smiled and put your hand in his hair, scratching his scalp. 
“You’re so nice, Steve.”
He raised his eyebrow.
“Nice? I’ll show you nice.”
And he leaned down and liked your pussy, tongue sweeping into your sweet tang and setting his world on fire.
“Fucking delicious…”
“Languagggeeeeee… Stevie, fuck!”
You couldn’t handle it as he dove in and pulled and sucked your clit like taffy candy
Steve chuckled, then looked up at what he was doing to you. Your head was thrown back, one hand still grabbing his hair and the other on your breast.
“Look at me.”
You brought your head up to see him and then gasped as he spit on your pussy and then licked it up. 
“Shit, Steve…”
His mouth had disappeared into your cunt as you replied.
“T-ththat wasn’t very nice. In fact…”
You had to stop speaking because now Steve had brought two thick fingers up and had entered your slick passage. The way he finger fucked you while sucking your clit made your eyes roll back in your head. You had his hair tight and the tighter you pulled, the more he groaned and licked you up. 
You grunted through your orgasm, still cognizant that people might hear you.
After you came, Steve looked up at you and curled his fingers which were still inside you, making you slap your hand over your mouth as you keened behind it. That extended your orgasm and had you searching for air as Steve’s hand ran up your dress to squeeze your soft breasts.
“That was great, Sugar. But you know what would be perfect?”
You knew knew what was coming next. 
You thought.
“If you rode my face and came in my mouth.”
“Oh.”
You were sure that you looked like a fish the way your mouth stayed open in surprise.
You were sexy as hell to Steve Rogers.
He moved smoothly down to the ground and you took in the tent that was made through his khaki pants. You were a little disappointed. You wanted him inside you.
Steve chuckled and reached out his arms, grabbing for you.
“C’mere, Sugar, bring me that sweet, sweet sugary cream.”
You blushed, despite the debauchery you just participated in, and allowed yourself to be pulled up to Steve’s chest, your skirt fanning around him as he hooked his arms around your thighs and moved your skirt up for access.
“Now, I want you to sit on my face.”
“That handsome face with that big ass tongue?” 
You used to tease him about it all the time.
Steve smiled and nodded.
“Ummmhmmmm.” 
He stuck his tongue out and wiggled it.
“The better to eat you with, my dear.”
Then he turned and kissed your thigh. Next, his blue eyes bore into yours.
“Now, bring that ass here…”
You couldn’t help but obey as you raised up on your thighs and scooted up as he scooted down. He pulled you down so that you were seated perfectly on his face, his tongue spearing inside you. His hands held you apart as next he did a swirly thing and also a full lick from the top to the bottom of you, all the while watching you.
All shyness disappeared as soon you were grabbing his hair again and undulating on his mouth. Steve nodded and groaned, which encouraged you to go for the gold.
“Oh, my god, Steve…”
You fucked yourself on his face as he sucked and tweaked your clit, listening to his moans of pleasure. The thought that this is what he wanted to do on his birthday was getting you off.
Oh, and the stunning cunnilingus that this man was performing on you helped as well.
At first you thought it was your orgasm, but the fireworks that were lighting up the sky wasn’t from your own climax, but the thousands of dollars Stark paid for them. You allowed yourself to scream as you squirted into Steve’s mouth, and you collapsed over him as he scooted out, flipped up your skirt and licked you clean.
You lay shivering on the ground watching the lights in the sky as Steve lay down beside you and viewed the fireworks with you. 
He pulled you into his arms as you whispered, “What about that?”
You wiggled your bottom against his boner.
“That will get taken care of, one way or another.”
Steve leaned up and kissed your cheek.
“Right now, this moment is perfect.”
You smiled and relaxed, thinking that what you had given Steve was also a gift to yourself.
Stars sparked in the sky as you snuggled into Steve’s arms and Bucky turned away from the hedge, heading toward Romania.
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worldlxvlys · 4 months
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FOR THE DWB W MATT PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE DO A FIC WHERE HE COMES OVER N THE GUY IS STILL THERE I WANNA SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN🙏🏻🙏🏻 YOU DONT HAVE TO THO ID JUST LOVE TO SEE IT👁️👁️
lose your shit
dwb! matt x reader
warnings: mentions of sex, violence, mentions of blood, cursing
based on these texts, it won’t really make sense if you don’t read them.
a/n: the guy’s name is alex, i hope you like this <333
shit shit shit shit.
this is not good. i look over to the man laying in my bed, he was in a dead sleep.
matt doesn’t live that far away, maybe 10 minutes tops. however, he could have left before he even sent that text.
fuck.
i began to shake alex awake. “you gotta wake up, dude”
after a few seconds, he stirred and opened his eyes. “what’s wrong?” he asked, letting out a yawn.
“nothing. you just really need to fucking go”
“alright damn, but what’s the rush?”
“please just hurry up, i don’t have time for this” i said, pulling him off the bed.
“damn, was the sex that bad?” i didn’t even answer, just looked him up and down.
“alright, jeez” i collected his clothes from the floor and handed them to him.
he took the hint, beginning to get dressed.
when he was done he just stood there.
“was there something else you needed?” i asked trying to figure out why he wouldn’t leave.
“can i at least brush my teeth?”
“does this look like a fucking hotel to you? take your shit, and get out. now.” i answered, starting to get annoyed.
he just stared at me, mouth open.
“you do have a tooth brush and running water at your house, correct?”
“well, yeah. but-“
“ok that is amazing, lovely, the quicker you get out of my house, the quicker you can take care of your dental hygiene” i said nudging him out of my room.
i pushed him all the way to my door. maybe there is hope for this man after all.
when i opened the door, there stood matt.
fucking hell.
that has to be the worst timing i’ve ever had in my entire life.
his eyes immediately snapped toward alex. “what the fuck are you doing here?”
“i could ask you the same thing, matty-boy”
they know each other.
the two men stared at each other, never breaking the intense glare.
“oh great! you two know each other! well, alex was just about to head home so, y’all can catch up later” i said, trying to get him to walk away.
“actually, i think i’m gonna stay” he said, looking matt up and down.
well, shit.
this was like something out of a god damn movie. and while it didn’t surprise me that matt was acting this way, i wasn’t expecting this from alex.
alex did not seem like the type of guy to start a fight, he seemed more like the type to run away from one. he simply wasn’t built for it, at least, that’s what i thought.
matt clenched his jaw before grabbing alex by his shirt, pulling him outside and pushing him against my house.
“jesus christ, matt” i said in shock.
“what ya gonna do matty? gonna hit me?” matt did just that, swinging at alex’s face.
“you need to stay the fuck away from her. got it?”
“no can do, matty pooh. i can’t lie, she’s a good fuck”
matt didn’t like his comment, as he pulled his fist back to punch alex again.
alex, however, was quicker this time. he caught matt’s fist with one hand and swung at him with the other.
yeah, i was definitely wrong about alex.
“hey fuckers! i don’t know if you’ve noticed but my house is white. it’d be lovely if you didn’t get blood on it !” i yelled, making matt turn his head towards me.
alex took advantage of matt’s distraction to land another blow to matt’s face.
that shit looked like it hurt.
i then pulled matt away, placing myself between the two.
“you two need to get a fucking grip” i turned to alex. “walk away before i call the cops on your ass”
i turned to matt, “you’ve made your point, let him go”
matt gave him one last glare before gesturing alex to go. with that, alex walked off “your face isn’t the only place i left marks ” he mumbled.
matt started to walk after him, but i placed my hand on his chest to stop him.
i tilted my head at him, looking into his eyes. “it’s fine. just let him go” he looked at me, eyes softening, and nodded.
once i heard alex’s car door shut and him drive away, i pulled matt inside “come on”.
i brought him to my bathroom, pulling out my first aid kit.
“did he actually mark you up?” he asked, as i grabbed a wash cloth for his face.
“no, matt. he was just trying to get under your skin” i said as i ran water over the cloth and brought it to his face.
i began to clean his cuts, making him grimace. “i know, i know. sorry”
my tongue poked out a little past my lips, as i continued to clean his cuts.
he stared down at my lips the whole time, not saying a word.
“all done.” i said as i finished up. i started to reach over him to grab a bandage. “lemme just grab a-“ he suddenly grabbed my arm halting my movements as he studied my face.
my face felt hot under his gaze, as i tried not to show how nervous he made me. without another word, he grabbed my face, pulling me in for a kiss.
he kissed me with passion, like he was pouring all of his emotions into it. it wasn’t hungry or lust-driven. it said all the things that we could never say to each other’s faces.
he pulled away, pressing his forehead to mine. “what was that for?” i asked, eyes still closed.
“i need you to know that i care about you” my eye opened at this, staring into mine.
“i’m not using you for sex. i could never do that, baby. and i’m so sorry i ever made you feel that way. you are the most important thing to me. i can’t lose you, and i couldn’t live with myself if i let anything happen to you.”
he pecked my nose.
“i know that you’re capable of making your own decisions, and i’m not trying to take that away from you. but i know that guy and he’s not the type of person you want to be around. i can’t just watch him ruin you.” he moves a piece of hair out of my face.
“so i’m sorry that i just showed up here. i’m sorry i lost my shit. i’m sorry about the blood on your house” we both chuckled.
“but i can’t help it when it comes to you, you drive me crazy”
“hmm i don’t know i kinda like it when you lose your shit, it’s hot” i said as our noses touched.
he pushed my hips against my sink.
“good” he said as he went in for another kiss.
🌀🌀🌀🌀
hope you liked :)
masterlist
tag list: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @chrissturnioloswifey @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @sosmatt @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @soursturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4
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fr3sh-tragedies · 4 months
Text
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Serenity
[Shadow of the Tomb Raider] Lara Croft x Female Reader
Word Count: 5.12k
Proofread: Yes
Content Warnings: Touch starved Lara (?), feelings of homesickness, fear of death, mentions of mourning, brief descriptions of wounds
Categories:
Angst Fluff Mix
One-Shot Preference Headcanon
[A/N]: Wanted to try a bit of a different format for the summary, hope it makes sense.
Enjoy!
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Harsh winds whipped past the shape of the land, bending around every mountain and down every ravine and valley like ribbon. Shivering harshly and clutching onto her heavy coat, Lara sighed, planting herself in front of the campfire she had set up. As the flames crackled to life and began to grow, she scooted closer, holding her hands out towards the blazing heat in an attempt to warm them. She huffed out hot air into her cupped palms before rubbing them together and shifting to hold them out again.
She repeated this motion a few more times before wriggling her fingers around a bit. Once she was sure they were warmed up enough, she slipped her journal out from her traveler’s pack and took her pen out. She flipped over to the next blank page, beginning to jot things down with stiff hands. It started with her summarizing all that had happened during the current expedition up until that point, but quickly shifted to her feelings of homesickness. It wasn’t the manor or her private apartment she was missing, however. She was missing the woman waiting for her back home.
A small smile of content formed on her lips at the mere thought of her.
“God, [Y/N], I wish you were…”
She shook her head as a chill ran down her spine, as if she was being reminded of the brutal conditions she was in. With a small struggle, she scribbled out the ending of the sentence before starting a new one.
“No, I wish I was there with you. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you. Especially how warm you are. It’s freezing out here, although I’m not sure what I was expecting. Even when we stayed by the hot springs for a bit, my hands were too frozen to do anything. Writing this right now is extremely difficult because we’re headed toward the peak of a mountain where the snow is really dense. The altitude levels are getting high, and it’s making some of the crew sick, so we had to set up camp in the meantime. Aside from Jonah, the crew here doesn’t really care for all of this. They’re either doing it for the media exposure or for the money. The majority of them have made it clear that they aren’t doing it for the sake of discovery. I do kind of wish you were here in all honesty. Jonah is interested in what we’re looking for, but it always takes some convincing with him. With you, you’re always on board immediately. And, according to the others, you share the same level of enthusiasm as me. I guess I never really noticed it.
“Which is honestly a bit of a surprise. I know I can get a bit…aggressive about these things, or obsessive. People tell me I start getting picky about things once I realize they don’t have the same interests and intentions as me. And Sam wonders why I don’t like hanging out with other people.”
She laughed softly to herself, skimming over her words before she continued writing.
“Except you, of course. I wish I could bring you along with me to these expeditions, but I’m just…worried Trinity is going to get to you somehow, and aside from Jonah, you’re the only one I have left. If they got ahold of you, I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I’ve lost too many people already. I can’t lose you too.”
A small pause. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself during these trips anymore. Before she had met [Y/N], she had gotten used to sleeping alone and spending the majority of her time alone. She could go on journeys without worrying about returning home to someone. She didn’t want to die, that wasn’t what she was thinking of. She just didn’t feel guilty about trips taking longer than she initially planned. Deep down, though, she knew [Y/N] understood. Each time she’d make it home to her girlfriend, she was always greeted with relief and excitement rather than annoyance and resentment.
During the nights where she was alone on the expeditions, she could eventually get herself to fall asleep for short periods of time, pretending she was back home in bed with her girlfriend, cuddled up together under the blankets and sleeping in.
Another thing she had to readjust to was doing things solo. The only thing she tended to do on her own at the manor anymore was paperwork. [Y/N] would do everything with her there: researching, reading, cleaning, taking trips to different cities, and so on and so forth. She had grown so accustomed to that to where she found herself itching to talk to someone or move around at the campsites when she used to just sit there and think to herself.
She genuinely enjoyed the idea of having someone to come home to every time, but it still caused guilt when anything went wrong. There was a near-constant worry that her job was straining the relationship, regardless of what [Y/N] told her.
She had never been in a relationship before, so she really had no idea what to expect. It was stressful trying to learn how to open up to someone, but once she realized she could fully trust [Y/N], she found it much easier to start talking about her past.
Another sigh slipped past her lips, her gaze dropping down to the page of her journal again.
“I can’t wait to get home to you again. And honestly, I never thought I’d be able to say that. With how often I’m traveling, I figured I wouldn’t find someone who was willing to put up with my constant researching and preparing. I suppose I could take you on easier trips where I know Trinity won’t be. I could teach you how to go rock climbing and the basics of how to survive out in the wilderness.”
A sense of fondness washed over her, remembering how Roth would take her backpacking and traveling to random places so she could learn all of his tricks.
“If Roth were still here, I bet I could’ve convinced him to let you come with us to one of our training expeditions. He loved teaching all about journeying. He probably would’ve talked your ear off the way he did with me.”
Once more, a soft laugh escaped her.
“I’d honestly give anything to hear him lecture me about trusting my instinct again. You would’ve loved him. He was a good man.”
She studied her entry, repeatedly skimming over Roth’s name scribbled out in her shaky handwriting. 
“I wish you could’ve met him.”
She frowned at the memory of what happened in Yamatai, guilt beginning to bubble up to the surface again. She sighed, trying to shift her focus to something else.
“I can’t wait to get back home to you. I miss you. Hopefully I’ll be able to see you sooner rather than later. I already want to come back just so I can be with you again. I love you.”
Gently, she shut her journal and tucked it away again, dropping her pen in on top of it before zipping the bag shut. Once she placed the bag to her side, she shifted to turn back to the fire, which had grown to a decent size. Her unfocused gaze watched the flames in front of her dance wildly to the bitterly cold gusts of wind. Soon, as she waited for Jonah to call her over, her mind wandered off, her body shivering, aching, and craving to be in her warm, plush bed by [Y/N]’s side again.
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The expedition finally came to an end. Unfortunately, it had taken an extra three days thanks to Trinity’s operation disrupting everything. Lara was returning home with another artifact, one which she planned to donate to a local museum instead of adding to her personal collection. She asked Jonah to drop the artifact off for her, her expression alone telling him all he needed to know. He agreed, knowing she just wanted to get home to [Y/N] again and rest. Once the plane landed and they disembarked with their luggage, Lara instantly found her car still parked in a private garage she had paid for ahead of time.
She hopped in instantly after tucking her small amount of luggage into the trunk, started the engine, and sped off toward her home. The majority of the drive there, she reflected on what had happened during the expedition. Although she had been in a warm environment for hours on the way back, she still felt chilled to the bone after swimming in glacial waters for hours on end. All she craved was to get home and warm all the way up so she could sleep comfortably, even though she knew the moment the numbness subsided, her joints would ache even more.
Once she finally arrived, she parked her car in her usual spot and headed inside, completely forgetting about the bags in the trunk. Her body felt like it would collapse any minute, so she was desperately trying to get inside and find [Y/N].
With a great deal of effort, straining the aching muscles in her arms and back, she shoved the main door open leading into the front parlor. Before any of the servants could lead her somewhere to get her injuries treated or get changed into warmer clothes, Lara made a beeline to the stairs leading up to the second floor of the main building. She wobbled down the hall to her bedroom door, weakly pushing it open with a small grunt of pain. She didn’t spot [Y/N] in the bedroom right away, so she checked the bathroom attached to it.
She wasn’t there either. Odd.
With a groan, she forced herself to trudge back out of the room and down the hall, planning to check the library next. And if she wasn’t there, she’d search the main study. Before she could make it to the doorway leading to the library, [Y/N] stepped out carrying a couple of books. When she spotted Lara, her face lit up, excitedly placing the books aside on a nearby console table and rushing over to the brunette. At the sight of [Y/N] heading her direction, a small surge of energy bolted through Lara’s senses. She beamed over at her and opened her arms, sighing in relief when the smaller woman leaned heavily into her embrace.
“Lara, you’re back! How was the trip? Find anything good?”
Lara grinned wider at her enthusiasm–a breath of fresh air to have someone show genuine interest in her own passion. “Yeah, we found an old artifact, but I told Jonah to just go donate it to the local museum. I don’t have much space left on the shelves in my study, and I don’t want to clutter our room with them.” [Y/N] chuckled at her words, a small nod as her response as they remained in their embrace a moment longer.
At length, much to Lara’s dismay, [Y/N] leaned back. One hand dropped down to gently take hold of the brunette’s, and the other lifted to cup her cheek. At the feeling of warmth against her face, Lara leaned into the touch, her eyes shutting as she sighed. “C’mon,” [Y/N] started softly with a warm smile, “let’s get you patched up and changed. Then you can get some sleep.” Before she could try to refute, Lara yawned and nodded, wearily following the smaller woman’s lead as she carefully tugged her toward the bedroom again.
Once in there, she sat Lara down on the bed, retrieved the First Aid kit from the medical cabinet in the bathroom, and joined her on the mattress, which the brunette seemed to immediately sink into. She pulled out a damp rag she had also grabbed and began to dab cautiously at the scratches and cuts littered across Lara’s skin. When she began to apply the antiseptic, she earned a few hisses of pain, though they quickly died down with each passing second. All the while, Lara’s eyelids were growing heavier. She did her best to bite back her yawns, though most of them still snuck through.
After cleaning all of the visible marks, [Y/N] stitched up what she needed to, and applied bandages to what was left. She quickly packed the kit back up and stored it in the bathroom once more. Then, she helped Lara head into the bathroom and get undressed, helping her step into the bath when the warm water filled up enough. Once the brunette was situated and comfortable, [Y/N] took her hair down for her and began to rinse and lather it with the shampoo she had set up beforehand. Once her hair was clean, she then washed Lara’s back, shoulders, and mostly everything but her stomach, legs, and mostly whatever was underneath the water, which she let the Croft do on her own.
By the time Lara was clean and wrapped up in a towel after stepping out of the tub, [Y/N] left and came back in carrying a pair of clothes that had just been pulled out from the dryer. She gave the brunette a bit of privacy to get dressed. Lara hummed contentedly at the warm, soft fabric brushing across her skin: a pair of black fleece pants with a slightly oversized gray t-shirt.
She stood after tugging her clothes on. After folding the towel back up enough to hang on the rack on the wall, she flipped the lightswitch off and left the bathroom, finding [Y/N] standing by the bed with a tray in her hands. Curiously, Lara walked over and sat down at the foot of the bed with an eyebrow raised. Before she could question what it was, [Y/N] moved to hand the tray to her, revealing her favorite dish warmed up and placed nicely on a plate.
At the sight of it, she blinked, and soon looked back up at her girlfriend, who had moved to her own side of the bed. “Go ahead and eat. I wanted you to have something in your stomach so it doesn’t growl and wake you up like last time.”
With a pleased grin, Lara nodded and shifted up to her spot in bed to prop herself up against the headboard. She was quick to pick up her fork and dig into the dish, clearly grateful to have something prepared for her instead of needing to fix something for herself the way she had done the past few days in the wilderness. It saved her a lot of time and energy, all of which she could spend on recovering from the trip. Within minutes, the plate was clean and her cup was empty. She moved to get up and bring it to the kitchen downstairs, but [Y/N] was quick to stop her and take it from her hands. “Hey, no, go ahead and stay here, alright? I really just want you to relax for a while.”
Even if Lara had planned on refusing the help, it would’ve been no use, as [Y/N] was already by the door by the time she finished speaking. She quickly slipped out of the room, leaving Lara there to wait. She hadn’t even had a chance to nod. She sighed, shuffling downward to bundle up underneath the thick blankets layering her mattress and tugging them partially over her head. The moment her head made contact with her pillow, she groaned in relief, the plush surface welcoming her and pulling her into a partial slumber already.
She fought to stay awake a little longer, however, wanting to be cuddled up against [Y/N] as she slept so she could hear her heartbeat. Ever since the two had started sharing the bed, that’s how Lara fell asleep. It’s why going on long expeditions was so difficult sometimes–she had no heartbeat to listen to, no breathing she could hear but her own, and no warmth to lean into when she got a chill or had a strange dream that kept her eyes pried open in alarmed confusion. Another yawn pushed past her lips, her eyes slowly fluttering shut. Just as she was close to being lulled into sleep, the bedroom door creaked open again. [Y/N] stepped inside and turned the lights off, then headed over to the windows and closed all the heavy curtains, leaving a very dull light in the room.
She then crawled into her side of the bed, though she was quickly met with Lara scooting over and pressing her head against her chest, planting her ear directly over the girl’s sternum to hear the steady thumping of her heartbeat resting safely behind her ribs. A sigh of relief made its way from Lara. She wriggled over a bit, nuzzled her face further into the blankets, and finally settled for a position. With a small smile, [Y/N] rolled over just enough to wrap both of her arms around the brunette’s torso. She pulled her closer as softly as she could.
“Did you wanna talk about the trip?” She whispered softly. A bit of a delay, but Lara answered with a small shake of her head. “No,” she murmured almost inaudibly. “Maybe tomorrow.” [Y/N] nodded in response. She slid one of her arms over a bit, earning a groan of disapproval, though it was quickly replaced by an even fainter groan of pleasure once her fingernails began to gently rake through Lara’s brunette locks. [Y/N] repeated this motion for a while before changing to let her nails scratch soothingly at the sore muscles of the taller woman’s back. “Mmm, what about you?” Lara finally managed to slur out after a few minutes.
[Y/N] hummed, confused. “What about me?” She questioned quietly. Again, there was a pause before she got a response. “What about your day? Tell me…about your day.”
“Oh. Well, it wasn’t very eventful, to be honest. I just helped some of the maids and then read a few books. That’s why I was leaving the library when you made it in.”
“Mmh.”
Lara groaned and shuffled even closer. “I missed you so much,” she whispered. [Y/N] beamed down at her, pure adoration in her eyes. “I missed you too.” She pressed a kiss to the brunette’s forehead, to which Lara responded by scrunching up her nose and leaning her head forward, wordlessly asking for another one. The smaller woman complied after letting a gentle giggle slip in between breaths and pressed a longer kiss to Lara’s head, earning a small huff of satisfaction.
For a while longer, [Y/N] continued to talk about whatever came to mind. Lara wasn’t entirely listening, she just wanted to hear her voice, but [Y/N] already knew that. She didn’t mind. She could talk about seeing a bird on the window sill, and Lara would still find it calming solely because she could hear her speaking. She could hear the low rumbling and vibrations in her chest with every word spoken, and on top of the sound of her heartbeat, it was like the ultimate white noise for Lara.
She wasn’t entirely sure why it brought her so much comfort, but she certainly wasn’t complaining. It helped her fall asleep and stay asleep, which is something she struggled with for the longest time. Being able to get a proper night’s rest felt so refreshing.
Especially after having to be on high alert and sleep lightly for weeks on end during most of her journeys.
After a while, [Y/N] ran out of things to talk about. However, knowing that hearing her make noise was what helped Lara fall asleep, she opted to sing softly instead. An hour or so must’ve passed before Lara’s breathing deepened and slowed, evening out as her body signaled she was fully asleep. After finishing the song she had been practically humming at that point, [Y/N] stopped singing. When she fell silent, her own eyes beginning to droop from fatigue, Lara tugged her closer, unconsciously trying to find the source of the noise again. She settled after a moment when her hearing focused in on her heartbeat once more.
She mumbled something under her breath, though the blankets muffled most of it. The other half of the incoherent speech was caused by her lack of conscience. [Y/N] didn’t mind it though. Finally being able to hold Lara safely in her arms again after two and a half weeks was all she had been wanting. She glanced down at her, smiling tiredly and pressing a gentle kiss to her head again before yawning and closing her eyes.
Soon enough, she fell into a deep slumber as well.
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The following morning, the sun crept in through the blinds, alerting everyone of its wake. Bright golden beams trailed their way into the bedroom, sneaking up the covers and making Lara suddenly aware of her surroundings again. She grumbled, calloused fingertips grasping at the hem of the comforter that had slipped from over her head and tugging upward, desperately trying to block out the warmth that stirred her awake. It had been years–until she met [Y/N], anyway–since she had been able to sleep in peacefully without the overwhelming worry of needing to constantly accomplish something. She wanted to stay asleep at least long enough to finish her dream.
For a moment, she smirked to herself, noticing just how soft she had gotten once her relationship had been established with the other woman. Had they never met, nor had they gotten as close as they did, she’d likely still be awake at this hour, buried away in her personal study with stacks of books and loose files strewn about.
With a sense of bitter hesitation, one in which she debated falling back into the dream she had been having just a moment prior–which thankfully wasn’t another nightmare keeping her awake–she let her weary eyes flutter open. A small shove downward let the covers fall free from over her head again, begrudgingly allowing the sunlight to caress her features in a more willing manner. A sigh of relief slipped past her lips once she was able to let her eyes adjust to the blazing beams of light dancing around with each small movement.
After a moment of gaining her bearings, she yawned, drowsily rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes as she shifted over to find [Y/N] still resting at her side. The corners of her lips perked up into a small smile of contentment at the sight. She hummed, shuffled up to let her head rest even in front of [Y/N]’s, and gazed over at her.
The light that had disturbed Lara of her rest now brought her a sense of peace. The warm glow of the amber streaks lighting up the room seemed to embrace every little mark across [Y/N]’s skin, highlighting each scar and stray freckle. Never before had she seemed so at ease in her slumber–or maybe Lara had been too focused on holding her close to have noticed. She noticed it now, though.
And she intended to savor every minute of it.
Moments passed, and her hands were itching to feel the softness of the woman’s skin. With a slight ounce of uncertainty, worried she might stir her awake, she finally lifted her hand from the spot on the mattress next to her and drove it up to let the backs of her fingers graze over [Y/N]’s cheek, huffing out a small sigh at the warmth as though she hadn’t been pressed tightly against her mere moments before.
Her fingers trailed up to tuck a few loose strands of hair behind the sleeping woman’s ear, slowly and silently shuffling forward to press a featherlike kiss to her forehead. At the feeling of soft lips and touches against her skin, [Y/N] began to wake, her brows furrowing together momentarily in thought, as if she were stuck between her dreams and lucidity. Her features softened just as quickly as they tightened, followed by her eyes flitting open and instantaneously focusing on the smitten gaze in front of her. She hummed, grinning and letting her hand slide up to gently take hold of Lara’s. With a small squeeze to her lax hand, [Y/N] turned her head to press an equally soft kiss to her palm.
“Morning,” she murmured against her skin, letting her focus flicker back toward the deep brown eyes now somehow filled with even more love than before.
“Morning,” came her faint reply.
“Are you feeling better now that you’ve slept?” Lara grinned, nodding almost unnoticeably. She carefully slipped her hand from [Y/N]’s, then letting it trail down to the smaller woman’s hip. Once moving a bit closer, as well as shuffling back down further into the comforter, she wrapped both arms around [Y/N]’s waist, tugging her closer and letting her head fall against her chest. Once [Y/N]’s chin moved to rest atop the brunette’s head, Lara sighed, her eyes fluttering shut once more. “Yes, but if I’m being completely honest, my entire body is aching right now. So much happened before I got back.”
She chuckled, wincing to herself at the sudden jolt of pain that erupted from the nerves in the skin taut against her stomach. “I don’t know if I can physically get up yet. Or if I'll be able to at all today.”
A playful snicker sounded above her, prompting her to lift her head and look up at [Y/N]. “Are you sure that’s why? Or do you just want to stay in bed and cuddle like this for the day?” Lara rolled her eyes with a smirk of her own. “I’m telling you: every single muscle in my body is painfully sore. I could get up if I absolutely needed to, but I don’t, so I’d really just prefer to stay here.”
With a moment in between the playful banter, Lara dropped her head back against [Y/N]’s chest. She waited, pondering what she wanted to say as her nails gently scratched at the soft fabric of the shirt she leaned against, sighing silently at the feeling of the motion being reciprocated in a far more soothing way. As she focused on [Y/N] tracing random shapes and words against her scarred skin, subconsciously wondering if she could make out anything specific if she focused, she closed her eyes.
“But even if I somehow wasn’t sore like I am now, I’d absolutely want to stay like this for the day. I missed you,” although her voice had already started off gentle, her tone only seemed to drift further into silence. Whether it stemmed from sheepishness or fatigue, [Y/N] didn’t know. She didn’t mind it, however, and instead pulled her closer. “I missed you too. So very much.”
She paused, one of her hands stroking the brunette strands sprawled out on the mattress behind Lara as her brow creased in thought. “I do worry about you though,” she admitted after what felt like hours, not sure if Lara was still even awake at the moment or if she had heard her. She had, however, and was quick to gaze back up at her, partially hidden way beneath the comforter. Her eyes, which had just been staring at her with a mix of blissful fatigue and love, were now a concoction of bleary concern and confusion. “Why?”
“Because sometimes I worry that something is going to happen to you while you’re away, and I’m never going to know. I mean, I know you won’t go down without a fight, but I’m still terrified that there will be a day where I see you alive for the last time. That thought alone plagues my mind every single time you leave, and it just…scares me?” She scoffed. “No, it’s so much more than just feeling scared. I’m terrified beyond belief that a thought like that could somehow become a reality.”
She hadn’t realized she had begun rambling until Lara shifted up to be eye-level with her again, a far more serious expression taking over. With her features creased with concern, Lara cupped [Y/N]’s face, the pads of her thumbs stroking away the tears that she hadn’t even realized had fallen. When had she started crying?
“I promise you I’m never going to let that happen, alright? There’ve been so many times I shouldn’t have been able to survive, but I did. Like you said: I won’t go down without a fight. And now that I have you here, I have all the more reason to fight to stay alive. I couldn’t bear the thought of never coming home to you. Just…don’t ever worry about me not coming home, okay? One way or another, I’ll find a way to get back to you.”
Her tone softened with every passing word, her heart and mind filling with relief upon seeing a gentle smile grace [Y/N]’s lips. She returned her grin and leaned forward to rest their foreheads together. “Even if it means I have to admit to Jonah that I’m wrong,” she added with a fake annoyance and a small roll of her eyes. [Y/N] couldn’t help but chuckle at her words, allowing Lara to finally let out a small sigh of solace.
“I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything,” she reassured, trading roles and pulling [Y/N] into her chest instead. “Not for an artifact, not for a trip to some uncharted land, not for my studies, not for anything. I know I may not be the best at showing it, but I truly love you, [Y/N]. I promise you that I’ll always find my way back to you.”
At her reassurance, [Y/N] nuzzled closer to focus in on her heartbeat, unable to bite back the wide smile that stretched across her lips. “I love you too,” she whispered.
Her words were true, she just wished she could find a way to prove it to her every day. Regardless of how invested she could get in her studies or research for her next expedition somewhere far away, she wouldn’t trade these moments of serenity for the world. She treasured them far more than any artifact she had discovered, and would do anything to ensure more of those memories could be made. Not even the strongest forces out there would stop her from returning to the one person she could call home, and she vowed, one way or another, to make sure it stayed that way for good.
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lixzey · 7 months
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Letters.
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The Seventh Letter.
It was four days later when Timothée had the chance to read the seventh letter. As soon as he landed in New York, he was called for a commercial shoot, which was scheduled months prior.
He was practically itching to get a chance to just lay down on his bed and read every unopened letter up to the last. But his career took all of his time—not that he's complaining, but as soon as he got off of work, he was already tired to the point he'd just collapse in his bed.
So, when he finally had the day off and didn't have anything else to do, Timothée immediately grabbed the chance to relax with coffee and Y/N's letters.
He ripped open the seventh letter, dated July 5, 2023.
Dear Timothée, 
I'm in desperate need of a hug. A hug from you.
I'm losing myself again.
I know, it's fucking stupid of me to think I'd even get the chance. The thought of you—the love of my life—being in love with another woman hurts like hell. I spent too much time daydreaming about what could've been. I held onto something that never really mattered.
I'm in love with you—a man who can never be mine. I don't have a right to get jealous, angry, or hurt because you're not mine. It’s hard to love you without looking so desperate.
I want to tell you everything without leaving out a single detail. If I did, you'd have hundreds of letters.
I can’t imagine life without you.
You're my life, my world, and my everything.
You make me feel like I'm locked out of heaven, Timothée Hal.
But I'm still silently, quietly, hoping you'll end up with me.
All my love,
Y/n. 
Timothée felt his heart break for this girl. She loved him, like every other fan, but everything about her letters—everything about her—makes him want to find her, give her the biggest hug in the world, and tell her that everything would be okay. But that wasn't the case, since he had no idea where this girl was right now.
Timothée stared at the letter. He noticed a small mark at the edge—a teardrop stain on the paper.
She was crying the day she wrote the letter.
What the hell happened on the day she wrote the seventh letter?
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the-magicians-blue · 2 years
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18+ MINORS DNI
Some spicy Micah Content because the lack thereof makes me sad so I shall fix it myself! So yeah once again MINORS DNI
2:22 am
Warnings: phone sex (or is it called video call sex?), mutual masturbation, Micah just being needy, x fem reader
It was late. You had work in the morning, he had work in the morning but he couldn’t take it anymore. After finally seeing you face to face, getting to hold you, kiss you, being back home just didn’t feel the same. He wanted you in his arms again. As Micah finally went to bed his mind wandered to his second night there.
To be honest he wasn’t fully sure how it happened. One moment he was giving you soft little kiss the next thing he knew your legs were thrown over his shoulders and he was watching you fall apart on his cock. He feels like it’s completely your fault. You pulled his hair it was only right he pulled your clothes off. But now that he was thinking about it he couldn’t get the image out of his head. How pretty you looked covered in sweat, the way you called his name, the way you came undone in his arms, all of it drove him crazy. He thought he’d lose his mind seeing like that, even thinking about it now made his mind hazy.
And his body was definitely feeling it as well. A tent was already growing in his pants as he turned on his side and groaned in frustration. He was supposed to be going to bed. But now he’s pulling out his phone praying you’re awake.
Micah Yujin: Hey angel, you up?
You responded a lot faster than expected
My Angel <3: I-
My Angel <3: I was just about to text you the same thing why are you up???
Were you up thinking about him too? That was the only thing that made sense in his head. As cute as it was it only riled him up more. He sat up in his bed as he turned his led lights on. Sleep wasn’t gonna happen anytime soon. He now had other plans.
Micah Yujin: I miss you
Micah Yujin: so I can’t sleep
My Angel <3: …
My Angel <3: I miss you too
He knows you have no idea how much of any effect you had on him. He took a deep breath. Video sex was not something he ever did but he needed you, somehow, some way.
Micah Yujin: weeeelllll
Micah Yujin: How about we call then?
Micha Yujin: I have an idea to help us both sleep but only if you’re ok with it
There a pause of no response. Micah was starting to get anxious. Maybe you knew what he wanted and you weren’t comfortable with? Just as he was about to type an apology you replied.
My Angel <3: ok but mind if I don’t have a shirt on? I took it off cause its hot in my room
Fuck. This was torture at this point. He was so tempted to just press the call button and see for himself, but he wanted the upper hand tonight. He wasn’t about to embarrass him self.
Micah Yujin: I mean I’ve already seen everything~
Micah Yujin: Just don’t be upset if I stare a little too hard ;)
After a moment of psyching himself up he finally pressed the call button. He almost hung up immediately when saw you, your face a tinge of red and your chest on full display. You weren’t even looking at the screen, like you were trying to avoid his gaze. Damn you were cute. He’s hoping you didn’t here the whimper that came from him before he composed himself and smirked.
“Whats the matter angel? I’ve seen you with a lot less on than this. Don’t be shy~ we both know how shameless you can be. Do I need to bring up what happened that lovely night in your room? Hm?”
Your eyes snapped up to glare at him as you became even redder.
“Shut up! It’s different like this since I can’t tell where you’re looking exactly! Besides you were the one gawking like an idiot, don’t think I didn’t here that little squeak you made a second ago! Now what did you have planned?”
Now it was his turn to blush. Seeing that you managed to get back at him a little you gave him that smug little grin you did whenever you managed to get the upper hand. He’d be salty if it wasn’t so cute.
“Well if you must know I was looking at my beautiful angel. As far as my plan… well… uuuh… its a little embarrassing.”
You raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to explain himself. Micah’s mind was racing. He knows it’s not completely inappropriate to ask, he’s made love to you before. However he didn’t wanna come off as desperate or do something that made you uncomfortable.
“Ok so you are more than free to say no, I understand if this request isn’t something you’re comfortable with but…. I literally can’t stop thinking about you and… that night.”
You started to giggle a little, relaxing a bit.
“And you wanted to get on me for thinking about it? You got some nerve Micah~”
Micah quickly became flustered as you called him on his bs. It was nothing new but the circumstances made it hard for him to keep it together. Before he could retort you spoke again.
“Its fine if you were, I may or may have not been in the same predicament…”
You quickly looked away as Micah starting putting two and two together. His eyes light up before donning the most shit eating grin he could muster.
“SO THATS WHY YOUR FACE WAS RED! My my my angel, exactly naughty things were you doing before I messaged you hmmmm????”
“Wouldn’t you love to know.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him. He suddenly lowered his eyes and deepened his tone of voice.
“You’re right angel, I would love to know what you were doing before I called. Actually… how about you show me? Only if you’re up to it.”
He tone softened again at the end. While he desperately wanted to see you, he also wasn’t going to make you do anything you didn’t wanna do. You looked at him a little shocked. You could never handle his random moments of boldness. You back away from the camera, now showing the bottom half of your body. You weren’t wearing any underwear. Micah gulped at the sight as you shyly opened your legs to him.
“Ya know, it’s unfair if you’re the only one getting a show here…”
After snapping out of his trance Micah quickly sat up and yanked his pants off. You couldn’t help but chuckle and how eager he was. He back up his chair so you could see down to his thighs. His cock was throbbing, twitching every now and then, aching to be touched. Damn you wanted him so bad. And he wanted you. He wanted to be inside of you, to make you scream, to feel your skin against him. This was so unfair. He hand firmly gripped his cock and his sighed in relief as he started stroking himself.
“I wish you were with me angel, I want you to touch me like this, and I wanna touch you… fuck I wanna touch you so bad. But I can’t. So I want you touch yourself for me ok?”
You obeyed him quietly as your fingers reached down to massage your folds. They were already glistening from the work you had put in before Micah had interrupted you. You were mesmerized by the view on your screen. Micah’s eyes were becoming hazy as he watched you please yourself, wanting to catch every detail. His hands were speeding up ever so slightly as he got more into it, low groans passing by his lips. The sight alone made you moan. His groans grew louder in response. Slowly you began to pump your fingers in your leaking hole, signing in relief as your walls finally had something to clench around. It was nothing compared to Micah’s fingers or his cock, just like his hand was nothing compared you. You both knew this but this was the best either of you could do.
“M-micah….hah- I need you so badly~ “ you whined at him causing his hazy eyes that were threatening to close to focus on your movements again. You words only spurred him on more. He loved that you wanted him, no, you needed him.
“Y-yeah? You pretending those fingers are mine angel? I reach much deeper than your fingers can though right? Fuck- you’re do pretty like that angel~ I don’t think I can take it much longer.”
You could barely focus on what he was saying, you desperate attempts to get the tension. In you stomach to snap taking all of your attention. You managed to nod at his words before whining. “Hah~ I’m so close… wanna come so bad Micah!” Micah leaned forward, not far from coming his self.
“Fuck, let me see angel. Let me see you come for me. God your so sexy I- fuck, fuck!”
It didn’t take long for both of you to fall over the edge, your hips twitching as your orgasm finally hit by you. You finally managed to focus to see quite a lovely sight. Micah had his hand tossed back, panting, basking in the after glow of his orgasm. Cum coated his hand as his abdomen flexed randomly. After coming down from his high his face turned bright red and hid his face from you. You couldn’t help but laugh.
“Oh now you get shy? What was all that dirty talk earlier huh?” Micah got even more flustered as he looked back at the screen wanting to retort, but he kept tripping over his words.
“H-hey! J-just like you said it feels different this way! I-i don’t know I’ve never done this before!” Micah was more red than he was before. As much as he teased you he rarely could take a dose of his own medicine.
“Anyways its late and we both have work in the morning. Thanks for…. Helping me out? Ugh I’m sorry I’m being so weird about it I just… can’t wait to see you again.”
You couldn’t help but agree with him. After finally getting to see him face to face. It just wasn’t the same without him. After chatting a little the two of you called it a night.
“Talk to ya tomorrow yeah? Do get too riled up while I’m gone~ I love you~” you couldn’t help but laugh.
“Goodnight loser. I love you too.”
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mon-mothmas-collar · 2 months
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Liam Lawson on F1 accessibility and Ollie Bearman:
“I would say maybe, it’s becoming more clear-it’s hard because obviously I don’t wanna just speak for myself but just using Ollie [Bearman] as an example-how potentially accessible formula 1 is for the younger sort of generation and us trying to step into it. I think in my experience it’s not so much driving the car but everything else that comes with Formula 1-the pressure, the media side of it the atmosphere-it’s very very different to what anything else we’ve raced. But the driver part of it sort of how accessible it is. I think from the simulator work and preparation that we do that someone like Ollie is able to jump into the car and be on the pace and do such a good job”
THIS is it!! This is what we’re saying! Liam and Ollie both performed superbly when given the opportunity to do so. It’s clear that the F1 car is manageable for someone making a quick jump from F2 or older F1 cars. When-in my experience-the reason teams have been hesitant maybe to bring in younger talent like Liam and Ollie is cause of the difference in the car. Liam and Ollie have both said that’s not true and they both did quite well through several tough races in Liam’s case like Singapore and Qatar.
It’s for reasons like what Liam says that we need to either push out some of the guys who aren’t performing at their level (*cough* Ricciardo *cough*) or open up the sport to more teams! If Andretti had gotten their bid accepted, Liam Lawson might not have to wait around for DR to get his head out of Chr*stian Horners ass and retire and he could have a seat for 2025. Cause until that happens, and until other teams make moves to push out their older competitors. Liam (and Ollie, sort of) can’t join F1.
And another problem this raises, is that either of them could have a seat next year. If teams weren’t so scared of missing out on the next Max Verstappen.
Toto Wolff practically has the seat reserved for Kimi Antonelli and he will do whatever it takes to either get it to him in 2025, or blow off that year to wait for Kimi in 2026. Meaning that Liam and Ollie would be left on their asses if either if them signed to Merc. And this isn’t hate to Kimi! This is simply a criticism of the teams only taking younger talent when they’re considered prodigious.
If they signed to a lower grid team like Haas-who we know are in tentative talks with Ollie-or Sauber or Alpine then they will underperform to their potential because the car they drive is shitty but they’ll be the ones blamed for it due to “lack of experience” and teams can continue to make the claim that the F2 to F1 jump is too big and the cycle repeats perpetually until it’s just not worth it and we the fans lose out on potential great talent. Even though drivers who have been in the sport for years can underperform in the same car and it’s fine!
It doesn’t make sense, truly, for them to not trust younger talent when Zak Brown and Mclaren have signed the youngest pairing on the grid, who after updates last year to the car, were pretty consistent with placing in the points and earned them several podiums.
Also, look at how much good the 2019 rookies ended up being for the sport. 3 childhood friends entered into F1, there were highs, lows, etc they each got their shot to prove themselves and now. One is working to rebuild a historic team, one is outperforming a 7 time champion (again no hate just observation) and one is considered to be apart of the team that can take the fight to RedBull and Ferrari
It just doesn’t make sense when young drivers get passed up even when they prove themselves in favor of relying on middling drivers who’s time in the sun have kind of passed on.
Anyway, I hope Liam and Ollie get a seat next year. I hope Kimi Antonelli does what’s best for him as a kid rather than what is best for his career. I hope Daniel Ricciardo gets kicked out mid season. And I hope the next time a team comes in trying to join F1, they can actually do it
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omg covey i’m thinking about “i'm a sister, i had a brother...his name was jason” and i’m imagining meeting jason when he comes to chb for the first time. like being the only one to know who he is(other than thalia obv but she’s not there and chiron who has to keep the secret duh)
imagine annabeth showing up with ur expecting to be percy(ur baby bro) and instead it’s a boy you thought was gone?? your best friends little brother??? and just being like “no way that is the stapler eater. i thought he was dead”
also having to know he is alive and here but thalia thinks he’s dead and gone??? my heart can’t take this i’m making myself sad at this point i have to go now
✮⋆˙ always someones little brother; the lost hero ft. daughter of poseidon! reader blurb
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content: the beginning of the lost hero ft daughter of poseidon! reader. warning: none! author's note: once again, wrote this instantly. something about this plot line got me foaming at the mouth frfr. ALSO i wanted to fit “no way that is the stapler eater. i thought he was dead” into this so bad, but i couldn't find the right place for it lmao. just know it's here in spirit because that is the BEST fucking line i've ever heard, good lord- ALSO i had negative idea how to tag this one bc like...thalia's not in it so i can't say 'x her' and 'x jason' doesn't really make sense??? so i just went with 'lost hero' ft the reader bc that was the best i could come up with lmao
when that blond boy and his friends washed up to camp, you couldn't help but be the slightest bit disappointed it wasn't percy. it was natural; the big sister in you begging to ensure his safety. during moments like this, you thought of thalia and wondered if she considered herself an older sister after all these years of believing her brother to be dead. and you vaguely wondered if you would ever get to that point too, percy being gone for so long that you lose your title of big sister. a title you wore with so much pride that being stripped of it would surely kill you.
but then you broke through the crowd of campers, telling them to scram and leave the new arrivals alone. you pulled annabeth to her feet, pressing a kiss to her scalp, knowing she was sharing your feeling of disappointment. then you shooed her away too, telling her to get chiron before - finally - turning to the new trio. a beautiful cherokee girl with eyes that were hard to look away from, a scrawny latino boy who's hands were a constant blur of adhd induced motion, and finally was that blonde boy who's eyes left you reeling. a striking blue that you had only ever seen in one other person...thalia. and a scar on his upper lip...roughly the right size for a staple to be the cause. there was no way...the gods could be so cruel sometimes.
"a-are you jason? jason james grace?" you gasped out, eyes locked on the boy as your lip wobbled in sympathy of thalia. she wasn't even here to greet the one boy who never left her mind. jason jolted at you knowing his name, eyes wide and slowly nodding his head.
"do- do i know you? do you know me?" the poor amnesic boy questioned and you half-shook your head and half-nodded.
"no, not really. but...i know your sister, thalia-" and before you could get more out, jason was jolting forwards, a vesical reaction to his sisters name. you leapt forwards, catching him from plummeting to the ground and instead slowly crumbling down there with him, your arms firmly wrapped around him in hopes of providing some comfort. you had the fleeting thought that you hoped someone would be there to catch your baby brother like this if he were to ever need it.
"i...i remember thalia. my big sister," jason whispered against your shoulder, fighting off tears as the memories rushed his brain. and you smiled softly and squeezed the boy a little tighter.
"she'll be so so happy to see you, jason. her baby brother that she thought was dead. you know, she never forgot you, she loved to talk about you to me," you muttered, gently rocking him like you would a baby, despite his grown age. jason pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes in seek of lies.
"she loves talking about how your favorite snack just so happens to be staplers-"
"one time! it was one time!" jason hissed out, isntantly, and you laughed.
"yes, but that scar really doesn't help your arguement," you mused and jason just shook his head, but he seemed more at ease then when he first arrived.
you couldn't help but think that you and thalia had traded places. a daughter of the big three lost their baby brother so the other could have hers back. and you thought, faintly, that you and thalia would always live like this. wretched mirrors of the very things you wanted, but the only way for it to come true was to damage the loving face looking back at you.
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alittlebitofsainz · 11 days
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you’re just a boy (and i’m kinda the man)
prompt: “i’m on a one-way trip to take over the world, and i thought you did, but you don’t understand.”
pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader
summary: daniel leaves mclaren, and you decide to put your career first, at the cost of the person you love.
a/n: genuinely made myself sad with this one, sorry :( song is by maisie peters!
masterlist | the spotify wrapped collection
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“I just don’t understand how you can stay with them after everything they’ve put you through.”
you ran a hand through your hair, exasperated.
“that’s just it, danny, you don’t understand.” you sighed, slumping forward on the desk, your elbow resting on the surface and your head resting in your hand. the other hand was gripping the phone held to your ear. “this is my career, it’s my entire life. I might not get another opportunity.”
“you know it’s the same for me, right?” daniel’s voice crackled through the phone after a few moments of silence, his volume quieter now. “this is the end of my career, probably. but it’s gotta be better than staying with mclaren.”
you shook your head, even though he couldn’t see.
“but you’re you, danny. you’ll get another chance, I’m sure. you’re one of the biggest faces in this sport.” you sighed again, “but I’m just me. no one is gonna offer me a second chance.” you tried to explain, raising your head slightly to glance at the rain softly hitting the window.
you heard him mutter something inaudible on the other end of the line, the words obscured by the static of the airwaves. you knew he hated when you did that, talked down about yourself. you’d lost count of the number of times the two of you had sat shoulder to shoulder in your drivers room, trying to boost each others spirits after a bad race. daniel was your teammate, your closest friend, your partner in crime, the love of your life. he’d always been able to see things from your point of view. why couldn’t he understand this decision? a conversation from a few months ago drifted through your mind. whatever we do, we do it together. you’d been the one to say that, and now look at you; reluctant to follow daniel into the unknown because you were scared. scared of the uncertainty. scared of losing your one shot at this career. you’d meant what you’d said at the time, but… no. you couldn’t do it. daniel was nearly the best thing that had ever happened to you, second only to earning a seat in formula one. that had to come first. you had to put yourself first. but it didn’t seem to make this phone call any easier. god, you wished you weren’t hundreds of miles away.
“just think, me, you, the outback. we’ll have all the time for dirt bikes and beach trips that you could possibly want.” daniel’s voice brought you back to the present. you could hear the crack in his voice as he tried to persuade you, the one that told you he already knew this was a losing battle. he was losing you. you tilted your head back, looking up at the ceiling; for the first time you were actually glad that this was all happening over a phone call, that daniel couldn’t see the tears forming on your lower lash line.
“I can’t, danny. you know I can’t.” even if daniel couldn’t see you crying, you were being optimistic if you hoped he couldn’t hear it in your voice.
“I know.” he sighed, the noise soft, quiet. there was silence on the line for just a moment, and you felt inclined to fill it, terrified that the conversation was already drawing to a close. you didn’t want daniel to hang up. you didn’t want to believe that this could all be over just like that.
“I’m really sorry, dan.” you apologised, saying anything to try and keep the momentum of the conversation.
“you don’t need to apologise. it’s not your fault.” came his predictable reply, but his tone was missing the kindness, the affection, you’d come to expect from a phone call with daniel. his voice was flat, monotone, and you found yourself unable to read how he was feeling. it had been a long time since that had happened; you and daniel always used to be on the same wavelength. it felt alien, like you were out of your depth. was he angry? upset? did he just not care anymore?
“we can still make this work, can’t we?”
you’d been avoiding the question, but now there was nothing left to say but that. the pause on the other end of the line didn’t fill you with confidence.
“I want to, god, you don’t even understand how much I want to.” came daniel’s reply, voice no longer monotone, instead betraying the emotions he was feeling. you winced as you could almost hear the ‘but’ on the end of his sentence.
“we can try, right? like, I can come visit you over christmas, then next year you’ll probably be at some of the race weekends anyway, and then I can try and get away from training during summer break…”
the more you spoke, the more you realised how hopeless this was. how could you expect to put enough effort into this relationship when you only had a few weekends spare per year? how could you expect daniel to come and watch and cheer for you at each race weekend, knowing that you were living his dream and he was stuck on the sidelines? your voice faltered as it trailed off, the realisation hitting you. fuck. this was it.
“please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be, y/n.”
you’d never heard daniel’s voice so quiet, with so little power behind it. you didn’t know whether you were even pleased that he was as devastated as you were about all this: how could this be the right decision when neither one of you wanted it? such was the reality of this sport. you swallowed thickly - daniel was right, there was no point in drawing this out, making it difficult. you wouldn’t be reduced to begging; at least you could walk away from this with your pride, if nothing else. you wiped a tear from your cheek with the heel of your free hand, the other gripping the phone so tightly that your knuckles turned white, holding onto it like a lifeline.
“no, you’re right. I’m sorry.” you mumbled in reply, once again glancing up at the ceiling to try and stem the flow of tears. you tried not to picture daniel doing the same thing on the end of the phone; it would only make you cry again.
“I’ll, uh, I’ll catch you at races and stuff, next year.” the finality in daniel’s voice made you draw in a shaky breath, steeling yourself for the aftermath. at least you and daniel had never gone public, you were grateful for that much. still, you’d been best friends in the eyes of the public, practically joined at the hip. people would notice when you no longer spent any time together. you tried to park that thought as your mind started to race; there would be time to deal with all of that later.
“yeah. I’ll see you around.” you couldn’t believe this was the way it would end. I’ll see you around. as if you hadn’t spent the last year and a half in each others pockets. as if every kiss and every I love you meant nothing now. as if you hadn’t spent long nights planning out your future together. none of it mattered now, you realised, tears threatening to fall once again.
“I loved you, y/n. never forget that.”
it felt like your throat closed up at that, unable to dignify daniel’s words with a suitable response. there was so much more you wanted to tell him, wanted to say, but you couldn’t even manage to say it back. you bit your lip, letting silence fill the call for one last time, before pulling your phone away from your ear and hitting the button to hang up.
a tear hit the screen of your phone right next to the daniel’s contact name, before the call ended, and his name disappeared.
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