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charmedreincarnation · 5 months

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Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.

Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!

A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!

Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.

I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.

So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.

Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.

The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.

Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.

I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.

There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”

Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.

Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.

Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.

During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.

Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.

Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.

As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.

Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.

Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭

Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.

Read this post.

This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes

“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.

And I was successful!

This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.

Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.

Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.

Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.

Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!

I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”

Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.

Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.

And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.

The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.

I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.

Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.

I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭

I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.

But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??

Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)

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#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #my asks

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wlw-imagines · 5 months

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Behind The Curtain - Amelia Shepherd/Reader (Grey’s Anatomy)

request: Could you do a oneshot with Amelia Shepard where they both work at the hospital and are secretly dating. One day Arizona or Meredith or somebody catches them making out and then teases them about it the rest of the day. You're writing is fantastic! Thanks for reading this :) - anon

a/n: these are from my old tumblr thefandomwritings from back in 2018 ! re-vamped and re-purposed!! hope u enjoy and forgive the 2018 me style writing

Keeping your relationship with Amelia secret had been pretty easy for the two of you.

Whilst you were rarely seen venturing further than paediatrics ward, Amelia was similarly tied down to Neuro, being a neurosurgeon, and to whatever various tasks kept her occupied elsewhere in the hospital. Therefore there was never any need to cover anything up about your long-term relationship.

It had begun as a late night fling, early on in your careers at Seattle Grace - you had both finished a shift at the same time and walked into each other as you were buying a coffee.

She smiled sleepily, her eyes bleary as she gripped the coffee cup, “Y/L/N, right?”

You nodded at the correct name, and also in recognition of the woman in front of you, “Amelia.”

“Coffee? At this late hour?” She smirked, a twinkle growing in her eyes.

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “I could say the same for you.”

Amelia shrugged and started walking at your side, “I won’t get any sleep any time soon anway, what’s your excuse?” She raised an eyebrow as the two of your left the cafeteria.

“Same.” You shrugged, before turning back to face her and fully reigstering the look in her eyes. You took a slight risk, hoping it was the correct one, “Want to come back to mine? We can talk about how shit life is and commiserate together?”

“I’m less of a talker, more of a do-er.” She caught your expression of a raised eyebrow and shook her head, “Not like that!”

“Hey, we can do whatever you want to do.” You laughed, “I can make us more coffee at home? Stronger coffee.”

“Okay. I’d like that.”

You were fortunate really because whenever you were around one another your love was probably too obvious and your relationship was something that you felt didn't need to be known by everyone yet. So, the longer it could be kept a secret, the better. There would be no complaints of favouritism in surgery and no teasing during late night shifts, it was just straight up easier.

And while normally the distance between your areas of expertise was in your favour, sometimes, on the rare occasion, the paediatrics and brain surgery teams would collaborate. It was at time like these that it was much more difficult to keep your hands off each other.

The day had started with Arizona rushing towards you, a stressed look on her face reserved for only the worst cases. "We have a nine year old girl coming in with serious unspecified head injuries. I've paged Lady Shepherd so she is on her way up, you'll be following the case with me." She rushed out, no time to pause.

"Wait, I... Lady Sheph- Amelia is being given the case?" You asked, your heart hammering slightly once you heard the name.

"She is our in-house neurosurgeon so, yes. She is. Do you have a problem with that Y/L/N?" The woman quirked an eyebrow up at you, giving you one of her looks that you could hardly ever interpret so you just stuttered away.

"N-no, not at all. That's fine, it's great. Good for her." You stumbled through some random words that didn't even really make sense in the situation before you were interrupted by your girlfriend walking through the doors.

There was just something about her in authority and her scrubs that turned you on and that was why you were better off separated. So you found yourself relatively lucky to not be included in the team that went into surgery.

You avoided the viewing platform. But even when you were stuck outside doing paperwork you still found yourself too distracted, your mind wandering off too many times, thinking of what you would do to the woman once you were in the safety of your own apartment.

It was going to be a long day.

You had waited until the surgery was finished until you snuck into a call room. Amelia had been walking past when you attempted to (subtly) pull her into the room with you. You immediately closed the door and pinned her up against it, making an attempt to lock the door before Amelia flipped the tables and pushed you against the wall. The look in her eyes immediately brought back memories of how your relationship had initially begun.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked, pulling back with a confused look on her face.

Leaning forward, you kissed her nose and hummed slightly, "I love you, is all."

The smile remained on your face as you leant slowly in. Your lips connected and the kiss only became more passionate as the pent up frustration of long, hard days and not seeing each other as much as you needed to built up. You weren't even in there to hook up like you always used to, you just need to be close and be together.(Although, shirts were beginning to be unbuttoned...)

You were vaguely aware of footsteps approaching but you were too caught up with Amelia and had just assumed they had passed. That was until you heard a small gasp coming from the doorway.

Amelia and you pulled away from each other as quickly as you could, your girlfriend stumbling back and almost falling over had it not been for you grabbing her waist and wrapping your arms around her to prevent the fall.

Once she was secure you turned your head back to whoever had interrupted with a smile that was as innocent as you could make it before clearing your throat, "Arizona... Hey."

"Well, I was not expecting this...” A small grin spread across her lips and she let out a gleeful laugh, “Actually, you know what I kind of was. Y/N's been acting strange." Arizona smiled with an evil twinkle in her eye, "I can't believe you guys haven't told me!" You quickly shushed her before pulling her into the call room and closing the door behind her. "I love you guys but at least buy me dinner first..." She joked, earning a light slap on the arm from you.

"What are you doing?" You asked, running your hand through your hair and starting to fidget.

Arizona paused, "I was going to take a nap... in the call room. Because that's what-"

Your girlfriend looked at her watch and shrugged at you, "Look at the time, I've got to go." Amelia, spoke up from the corner, sliding out the door without another word.

You went to walk after her but turned to Arizona who was still standing there with a smile on her face, "You scared my girlfriend away." You pouted.

Arizona just wrapped her arms around you and rocked you side to side, "I'm so proud of you!"

"Shut up."

"But you're both so cute."

"Shut up!" You pushed her slightly, laughing.

"And you've finally found someo-"

You gave her one last look before opening the door, "Okay, I'm leaving now!" You said, walking out.

"Love you." She yelled after your disappearing body.

"Love you too." You yelled back before adding on, "And don't you dare tell anyone!”

--------------------------------

"Y/N," You jokingly rolled your eyes when confronted with Arizona leaning on the nurse desk with a big smile on her face. You prepared yourself for the teasing that was inevitably about to come and pretended to be more interested in the paperwork in front of you. The teasing over the past week had been neverending, "Listen, I know I've been making fun of you and your girlfriend all day and I just wanted to let you know that I support you 100%. I promise that I won't let anyone know of your little secret, okay?" You visibly relaxed and looked back up at her.

You smiled, putting your hand over hers, "You know, you didn't need to tell me that. I trusted you from the beginning but thank you all the same."

She nodded and went to leave before turning back to you, "By the way, I've given your girlfriend a little gift - you may want to go up and say hi. She's in the nursery."

Confused, you frowned slightly but didn't question it as you nodded and made your way to the other side of the ward, where all the newborns are kept.

You stepped in front of the window looking into the nursery and felt your heart skip a beat to see Amelia cradling one of the babies. She caught your eye and her eyes twinkled slightly as she looked down at the baby in her arms. You sighed blissfully and stepped into the room.

"Are you terrorizing the children?" You asked, looking around at the other 3 cribs, each holding a tiny, delicate baby. You stepped closer to Amelia, putting an arm around her lower back and looking down at the baby.

"They're our kids without any home, or parents." Amelia whispered, rocking the baby slightly before shifting the pink blanket to cover her head and little waving hand that had fallen out when she was trying to reach up to your girlfriend. "I kind of thought you were just going to end the sentence at, 'they're our kids' and then you would have a lot of explaining to do."

"Surprise!" She sarcastically cheered before one last rock of the baby. Between the two of you, you managed to safely get her back into her cot and tucked up in her blanket before sneaking out the door.

You both stood in each other's embrace for a while, just soaking in each other's love and company.

"Y'know, maybe it's good that people know about us - especially Arizona." You mumble, longingly staring at the bundles left in the nursery, "if it gets us perks like getting to cuddle cute babies during work then I'm so up for coming out to everyone." You joked.

Amelia just nodded, "Me too." You looked up, slightly surprised as it hadn't really been something you had discussed yet. "Hey, you want to stay at mine and get chinese tonight?"

"Do you have the house to yourself?" You asked with surprise, since these are the only times you get to stay round and even then it is like a military mission. "No, it's a full house tonight. I'm introducing you to them."

"Babe, you realise I know your friends and they know me. We're part of the same friendship group."

"I know, but I get to introduce you as my girlfriend." She grinned and began walking back down the corridor, back to work before yelling over her shoulder, "Plus I get to show them pictures of our children!"

#greys anatomy #greys anatomy imagine #greys anatomy x reader #greys anatomy x y/n #amelia shepherd #amelia shepherd imagine #women loving women #amelia shepherd x reader #amelia shepherd x #lesbian #lesbian imagine #WLW #wlw imagines #wlw imagine #wlw x reader #wlw-imagines

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byuntrash101 · 1 year

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Girls like me

dom!reader x sub!felix

smut | nsfw | mdni

nerdsub!felix is adorable, softishdom!reader, felix's freckles ♡, pet names (good boy, babyboy), praising, handjob, corruption kink, semi-public (library), edging, begging, cum eating, this is lowkey wholesome dont @ me...

requested | part of my 2023 prompt event [closed]

Felix's heart flutter when he thinks of you but he's not sure if he can be with a girl like you...

[❛ i’m going to ruin you. ❜ + ❛ no ones here. we can be as loud as we want. ❜]

TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK 🖤

You always liked the library. Not because of the books or the fast wifi but because it was quiet and peaceful. Because it was just a place to catch a quick break of it all and… because Felix was always there.

Felix the straight As student, always buried deep in his notes. He was in your major so you shared most of your classes with him but you never talked to him in class. He was way too bashful and/or focussed.

But here. You could maybe get his cute nose out of the thick books.

So many nights you closed down the library with him. Exchanging cute glances over his oversized square glasses, his rosy cheeks speckled with small freckles. He was adorable. You loved this duality between his timid demeanor and his deep voice always answering back to you with short answers.

You let your forehead rest on your microbiology book and sighed.

If only you hadn’t made that move yesterday. Trying to kiss him was just foolish of you. You remember how regret crept under your skin when he looked back at you with the round eyes of a deer trapped in headlights. You hadn’t seen him since. Not in class and not in the library. WHich was very unlike him. It was almost closing time and you were the only one left here. And still no sign of your favorite most adorable nerd.

You groaned and shook your head chasing the bitter memory away.

But… when you looked back up. Felix was standing right beside your table. His white shirt and beige pants perfectly represented him. His beautifully long blonde hair framing his face, the ends of it resting on his big square glasses. You instantly started smiling. But that smile faded when Felix didn’t return it.

“Hey…” his deep voice started hesitantly.

“Felix… I” you wanted to apologize but you couldn’t.

“Listen y/n… I…” he was fidgeting with his fingers, anxiously pulling at his nails. “I like you ok…”

You stopped breathing for a while. This was the last thing you were expecting.

“But I don't think I can… be with you” he whispered.

“Why not?” you asked. Getting up from your chair and taking his hand in yours, trying to soothe him, your thumb caressing his slender fingers.

“Because I’ve never been with a girl… Like… you…”

You both knew what it meant. It meant a girl that liked to be in control. That was going to guide him.

Fuck he was so cute, freckled cheeks painted a light shade of pink. Your other hand went to gently wrap around his small waist. You heard him ever so slightly gasp at your touch.

“Why don’t you at least try first, hm?” you leaned over, lips almost touching his. Felix looked like he was expecting a kiss but when you didn’t progress further he looked surprised. “What do you say babyboy?” you asked again.

Felix felt a strange and unknown quiver in his lower stomach at the word. His eyes fluttered between your eyes and your lips when he finally nodded.

And you kissed him very sweetly, slow and sensual, guiding the dance from start to finish and for a guy that was so hesitant he was so good at being obedient.

“That’s my good boy” you said, opening your eyes back. Felix didn’t expect to like it that much. The daring attitude, the kiss, the praise, the firm touch on his side. Without realizing he was imperceptibly squirming between your arms, looking for friction and before he could even understand what he was going through he was getting hard. Of course you didn’t fail to notice.

His sweet innocent behavior all the while being a needy little boy awakened something in you. Something rougher, hungrier. Something that you kept at bay for a long time. Maybe too long but somehow you needed to keep it under control for just a little longer.

Your hand dropped to his thigh, nails trailing to his clothed hard on. When you finally laid hands on it Felix was biting down on his lip trying so hard not to explode. You gave it a firm squeeze and that sufficed to pull out of him the most melodious and divine moan you’ve ever heard. Shameful, high pitched. Perfect.

You couldn’t hold back anymore. You forcefully shoved him back onto the nearby shelves, making them shake. Your hand slipped to his nape and you growled in his ear.

“My sweet innocent babyboy” you whispered, cooing and lapping at his ear. Felix shuddered again at the word. “I’m going to ruin you.”

Felix felt himself twitch. It was like every single atom of his will was leaving him. With these simple little touches and words he wanted to throw himself at you. Fuck why did he like that so much?

In one move, almost magically, you stripped him of his bottom clothes and unbuttoned his white shirt exposing his cute pink nipples and flushed chest. You trailed his abs with your sharp nail, lifting goosebumps on his soft skin. Then finally grabbed the aching member, already dripping with thick, slimy precum.

“Fuck you’re so fucking wet for me already” you whispered firmly grabbing the base. You starting slowly jerking him off, at a pace that was pure torture at least for him because it was bliss for you. You smiled at how his face contorted in need, how he gave pathetic little thrusts trying so bad to make you go faster.

“Is this what you wanted?” you asked, lips pressed to his blazing skin. Felix felt like his heart was consuming itself. Like he would burst into flames if he didn’t get to feel more of you right here, right now.

“Yesss!” he answered without a shadow of a doubt.

“So eager” you teased as you went ever so slightly faster. Felix shut his eyes closed and pushed his blonde head back in the books behind him, the yellow strands of hair clasping his sweaty forehead.

You went faster again, your hand perfectly gliding alongside him, from base to tip, gathering more precum and going down again. Your other hand left his nape to play with his balls.

At the very second you started to fondle them it happened again. That same moan. His hands flew to his mouth as his eyes filled with shame. He was trying so bad to be silent. It was so pathetic and cute. You had to reassure him. Tell him it was okay.

“No one’s here. We can be as loud as we want.” You said. “ I want to hear the beautiful sounds you make.” you pecked the base of his neck.

It was like you had opened a tap. From that moment onwards he reacted to every touch. Letting his beautiful high pitched voice out. A true symphony. He made a variety of sounds you never suspected him to be able to produce. He was giving himself up to you, letting you string him along like a puppet. A well behaved puppy led by his red, veiny and dripping leash.

“Are you close, baby?” you whispered, nibbling on his red ear.

“Yes… Please… I wanna cum” he cried out, fucking himself off in your hands, matching your rhythm perfectly.

“You wanna cum for me baby ?” you bit on his neck. Earning another melodious moan from the freckled boy.

“Yesss… Please!!” his legs were trembling, about to give out.

“No, not yet” you instructed sternly.

His fucked out eyes snapped back to you, full of misery and despair, eyebrows deeply knitted and sweat dripping down his temples.

“Please Please” he pleaded in short and shallow breaths. “I-I’d do anything… Please! Please!” he started to stutter, whining. You took a good look at him. You smirked at the memory of him being so indecisive a second ago, thinking he couldn’t possibly be with you. But look at him now, thrusting his red and weeping cock in your palm, watery eyes full of anguish. He was magnificent. He was begging you so well you decided to allow him.

“Cum, baby” you ordered. “Cum for me right now”

It was all he needed. He let out a powerful stream of white cum as a beautiful string of moan was cascading from his plump lips, beautiful soft features twisted by relieving pleasure. A long stream even got all the way to your abandoned microbiology book sitting on the table.

You brought your stained fingers to your lips to have a taste of him as he collapsed to the ground, exhausted. The strong taste filled your head and you savored every drop of him.

You got on his level, linking your lips with his. At first he was surprised by the bitter salty taste maybe because he didn’t see you bring your fingers to your tongue but when he realized what this alluring taste was he quickly returned the kiss. Losing himself in his own taste, completely capitulating to you in this final act of submission.

“How was it, baby?” You asked, finally parting from him.

“Great” he briefly answered out of breath. “I wanna do it again” he said, bashful eyes returning. Like it was a whole different person begging for release, eyes half closed and mouth agape a second ago.

“Today I was nice and gentle with you. Next time I’ll show you what girls like me really do to boys like you”.

A/N: should i do a part two ? idk haha i kinda really liked it lol come say hi in my asks if you liked it too!

PART 2 HERE

#skz smut #felix smut #stray kids smut #skz felix #stray kids #stray kids felix #sub!felix #sub!idol #kpop smut #felix fanfic #stray kids x you #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #felix x reader #skz fanfic #skz

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diapydemon · 1 month

Text

Exercise

It had been so long since I had had any… adult attention.

I know we agreed to take our kinks to the next level, but still — I haven’t cum in months. Every time mommy walked by, my swelling member strained against my plastic pink cage. It was starting to become too much

I had tried my best to be the good baby mommy wanted, but I needed to cum! And I have been a good baby! I’ve been using my diapers without complaints, I haven’t said any bad words, and —excruciatingly— I haven’t cum or had an accident once!

Maybe that’s why mommy had so much compassion when I had my little outburst, as she had called it.

“Mommy!” I whined as I eyed her shapely figure, “Please!! I needa cum!!”

“Hmmm,” Mommy contemplated my request, “Well you have been quite a good boy recently…”

I hung on every word, desperation written all over my face.

“And I suppose it would be good for you to get some excercise in…”

“P-pwease Mommy,” I whimpered, trying to secure her decision.

“Tell you what sweetie,” she smiled down at me, “Mommy ordered you a special toy that’ll help. You just gotta wait a couple days for it to come in, and then you’ll feel all better! Can you be patient for Mommy?”

“MmmHmmm,” I moaned.

A few days past, and my sorry state of desperation had only gotten worse. But I knew if I acted out or misbehaved in any way, mommy would take my relief away to punish me for my naughtiness. For better or worse, I was committed to being her obedient baby.

Then, it arrived.

“Sweetheart, your new toy arrived! Why don’t you come out back and take a look!”

I quickly waddled outside to see whatever relief was in store for me. It… wasn’t what I was expecting. My cheeks burned scarlet as I saw my new toy.

Sitting in the backyard was a yoga ball adorned with a sattle that had a dildo, handcuffs, and ankle cuffs attached to it.

“M-mommy?” My voice quivered.

“Doesn’t it look like so much fun, princess! And we were talking about fitting some more excercise into your routine!”

“Uhmm…”

“Oh don’t be shy darling,” Mommy giggled, “How about we strap you in, and you can have fun bouncing around the back yard until you make stickies in your little diaper.”

“S-stickies?” I could barely believe my ears.

“That’s right, princess!”

“D-do I get to take my cage off?”

“Ahwww baby no,” mommy giggled, “you’re gonna cum like a princess or not at all. No matter how long it takes.”

“But—“

“Ah ah,” Mommy silenced me, “the only butt I want to hear about is the one that’s gonna be bouncing up and down on that big dildo, which is yours sweet pea.”

Mommy grabbed me by the wrists, and I knew better than to fuss. Before I knew it, my ankles and my wrists were tightly secured in mommy’s contraption. I immediately felt the pressure of the big pink dildlo through my diaper. This was going to be a long playtime…

“Ok sweet pea. While you play, Mommy’s going to go start on Din-din. I’ll be watching from inside.”

——————————————

Hey everyone, tumblr nuked my account again, so I’m rewriting these captions to reclaim them in the hopes that my followers find me again.

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svmjaeyvn · 4 months

Text

love maze, s.jy.

chapter three pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

add yourself to the taglist here!

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER THREE: CONTRACT

previous masterlist next

word count: 4k

warnings: cursing, mention of slight violence, mention of alcohol, mentions of your drunk self trying to jump jake’s bones, pet names

a/n: omg hi more ppl are starting to read this so exciting how do i do a tag list or whateva

"GET YOUR ASS up," You feel a heavy presence on the top of your head, waking up from the previous alcohol induced slumber that allowed you to stay asleep until the afternoon. Pulling the pillow away from your face which Jay had decided to throw on top of you as a wake up call, you blinked slowly to adjust to the change in light.

Jay stood on the opposite end of the room, folding up the comforter that was previously on the floor with narrowed eyes. His sweats hung low along his hips, his upper half shirtless while his hair had been shaken of the water from his shower, sticking up in a few awkward ways due to his lack of brushing.

"It's 1:30," He speaks up, gesturing toward the digital clock that was hung up along his wall, the modern sleek look of it blending in nicely with his decor.

"My head," You mumble, grimacing as you sat up. A small snort comes from the boy, pointing toward the water bottle and smaller white container on the bedside table.

"Your ass wouldn't stop rolling around last night so I had to sleep on the floor," Jay huffs, picking up the lone pillow he took down with him in the middle of the night. "Should've just let you and Jake hook up, he would've had to dealt with you," He adds on through a mumble, not intending for you to hear but didn't care if you did either way.

Picking up your head, your brows frown as you sat up. Jay lets out a small laugh, your hair sticking up in all directions due to being pressed against the pillows all night and slight smudge to your make up. Rolling your eyes knowing you probably looked as bad as you felt, you pick up the pill bottle and water, popping two into your mouth and swallowing it down with the drink that your body desperately needed to rehydrate.

"What're you talking about?" You finally ask, wincing at the hoarse sound of your voice. Coughing a few times to clear it, Jay watches with a face that displayed his disgust in more ways than one.

"You done?" He asks once you finally still in your fit. With a bored look, you reluctantly nod while he sends you a sarcastic smile back. "You're telling me you don't remember anything from last night?"

Pausing, you attempt to recall the previous events. Everything became a blur after heading to the dance floor, unable to pinpoint what was real or not. "Uh, aside from drinking a lot, no," You shrug, not seeing the problem considering the handful of times you've blacked out, most of which in Jay's care so he should've been used to it. "To be fair, I'm pretty sure I drank a lot of that poison punch Jungwon made—"

With an obviously disgruntled sigh, Jay interrupts you by holding up his phone. You squint, attempting to see before holding out your hand, sending him a pointed look knowing your eye sight wasn't the best. Holding it up close, the video replays and your eyes widen seeing you and Jake on one of couches downstairs, it being undeniable as you're seen on his lap, practically dry humping in the middle of the party that seemed in full swing while making out.

Your mouth falls ajar, horrified by your intoxicated self's actions. You barely even knew Jake, sure you've seen him a few times and sure, he sort of (definitely) saved you but that didn't open up a connection. Did it?

"Do you remember trying to fight Bianca James too?"

You blinked, tilting your head in confusion. "Who?"

Jay runs a hand across his face, turning away not knowing what was worse: you not knowing the millionaire trust fund baby's name or the fact that you didn't remember almost ripping her extensions out the night before.

"Bianca James? Daughter of the CEO that's dominating the business industry right now? The girl who literally gets driven around by a chauffeur to campus?" He rambles, obviously exasperated by your lack of knowledge though it was generally something everyone knew.

"The one with the botched nose job?"

Jay's face falls flat, throughly surprised that that was what you remembered of her reputation. "She got it fixed,"

"Well I don't know I'm not a business major! And I live off campus, everything that I know about school popularity comes from you guys," You answer with a shrug. "Yunjin says she's a bitch, so whatever it was, it was probably deserved that we were hair pulling. I play nasty when I'm drunk, you know that—"

"Bianca's has had a crush on Jake for like, four years. Their families have been in a partnership ever since Jake's dad wanted to expand to the West with the company. She's crazy, once she graduated last year she followed him here to Uni. His parents are pushing for them to get together because it'll make her happy which'll make her dad happy,"

You frown your brows, not seeing the point of his ramble. "Okay? So she's obsessed with him. That's not my problem, Jake's a known playboy either way so why does it matter if we hook up? Not that we did obviously since I ended up here but still,"

"She called you a dirty skank because she showed up to the party in the middle of you and Jake jumping each other on the couch. You, being drunk off your ass with mixed light and dark liquor, told her that just because she didn't have anyone to dick her down for the night didn't mean she had to make it everyone's problem," Jay deadpans, rather unamused while you bite back a laugh.

"I mean... yeah and I stand by that,"

"Point is, you two went back and forth until you got tired of it and tried to walk away but she pulled you back and you jumped on her. She started screaming, you were dragging her by the hair while Jake and Heeseung had to pull you off 'cause she didn't know how to fight and you were going in on her like we were back in high school," Jay explains in full while you nod along, his words causing your spotty memory to come back piece by piece to confirm he was right.

"Oh," You mumble, staring down at your hands. Your previously manicured nails were rough, one of them chipping on one hand while the other had a press on nail broken off, leaving your natural nail underneath evidently scrapped up and red. There was a slight redness to your right hand, the knuckles beginning to bruise in the smallest spot but aside from that, there were no other injuries on your end. "Damn, my bad. Party foul I guess,"

Jay shakes his head, unable to comprehend how you didn't remember a lick of last night but seemed relatively fine. Watching as he walked toward the bathroom, you shot your head up.

"Shit, Jay, I'm broke. What if she sues me?"

YOUR NOSE SCRUNCHES up at the incoming call, the unfamiliar number not ringing any bells causing you to press the reject button for the third time. You were sprawled out under one of the large trees on campus, your blanket that you always tucked away in your car for sunny days coming in handy as the weather grew warmer, allowing for you to wait between your classes while enjoying the fresh air and sun. You were perched up against the tree stump, headphones in listening to music with a book in hand.

The music pauses once again, the shrill of your ringtone causing you to let out a small groan in frustration. Decidedly having enough of the unknown number not getting the hint or leaving a message, you press accept to connect the call.

"Hello?" You speak first, the line quiet for a beat too long.

"Would it kill you to ever answer the phone?"

"You sound like my mom," You snort before realizing Jay had been the culprit in your interruptions. "Whose phone are you calling me from? Idiot I almost blocked you, kept stopping my music,"

"My phone died, this is Heeseung's number," Jay answers with a shrug, though you couldn't see him before he shakes his head. "Anyway, it's important obviously since I kept calling—"

"You couldn't have sent a message to let me know it was you and not a spam caller?"

"You're in deep shit," He finishes, ignoring your comment causing you to frown your brows. "Jake's looking for you, so just, don't be surprised if he shows up randomly,"

"What're you talking about?" You ask, not following the conversation at all. It had been a near week since the events of the frat party. No word had come of it, the first two you walked around rather cautious, prepped to run away if anyone came up to you with a stack of legal papers but nothing ever came. Living off campus, having entirely different areas of study, and not lingering for longer than needed for your classes allowed for you to stay entirely under the radar and out of Jake or Bianca's sight.

"I don't know, he went home yesterday and came back this morning saying he had to talk to you. It's important I guess. He wouldn't tell me but I'm assuming it has to do with last weekend," Jay explains, not being much help in providing context causing you to roll your eyes.

"Well obviously, I never spent more than three minutes around him before that," You huff, shutting your book and beginning to collect your things. "It's fine, he doesn't know my schedule and I go home after my last class so I can avoid him for now,"

"Uh,"

"What?" Pausing in your process, you take Jay's silence as a bad sign of him being an idiot. "Jongseong tell me you didn't tell him where I was,"

"I only told him that you'd be on campus for lectures today and he asked till when and I said till like 4 but that was before he explained why!" Jay rushes, words jumbled together in attempt to save himself. "I didn't tell him where, you're a lit major, the English department is huge and he has classes today too so it should be fine—"

"You're such an idiot," You breathe out, eyes widening at the convenience of the man of the hour that seemed to be wandering aimlessly looking around. Picking up your bag and slinging the blanket over your head to cover up your features, you begin to walk to opposite way, ignoring the poking leaves that still clung to the material. "I'm gonna kill you Jay, seriously he's looking for me which gives Bianca fuel to actually sue me if she wanted to cause she's crazy and already doesn't like me,"

"Well she has a reason,"

"She started it," You shoot back, voice almost a whisper into the phone in fear of speaking too loudly and gaining the brunettes attention that was across the way. In reality the sight of a bright red blanket being tossed over a persons body in the middle of comfortable heat was enough to gain anyone's attention, not that you were thinking clearly in the first place though. "I only regret it cause she's rich, stupid rich with the ability to ruin my life,"

There was another voice that was muffled through the line, Jay bickering with the owner. With a sigh, he speaks directly into the phone. "Alright, Hee wants his phone back so I gotta go. You're welcome by the way, you know, for the heads up,"

"Whatever, charge your phone I'll text you later," You mumble, bidding a goodbye to the boy who agrees and soon the line clicked, indicating that the call was ended. Looking around, you stop short realizing that you were headed in the wrong direction that your lecture would be. Slowly turning in attempt to find where Jake should've been, you pause with no sight of him. Assuming that the blanket was blocking your peripheral vision, you spin around fully only to let out a rather loud yelp in surprise.

Jake's eyes widen, shushing you and sending the few heads that turned a sheepish smile, reassuring that everything was fine. Catching your breath due to the sudden jump scare, you shake your head at him.

"What're you doing here?"

"Why're you avoiding me?"

You purse your lips at his retort. "Who says I was avoiding anybody?"

Jake lets out a small snort, picking one of the leaves off of the blanket with a pointed look. "Right, so you regularly go around like this?"

Wordlessly, you pull the blanket off of your body, Crumbling it up against your chest, one hand reaches out to flatten your hair that was sure to be sticking up in a few places. "Yeah, Thursdays. That's my thing, it's been cold, you know?"

Deciding against going back and forth, Jake checks the time on his phone momentarily. "How important is your next class?"

"Why?" You question, his answer being a reflection of what yours would be.

He shrugs half heartedly, looking around before his eyes settle back on you. His expression nearly unreadable, the smile he forced onto his lips not reaching his gaze causing your stomach to turn involuntarily. "Lets go eat,"

YOU SAT AWKWARDLY picking at the basket of fries between the two of you. You ended up on opposite sides of a booth in a well known burger place on campus, two drinks and the fries between you the only things ordered though Jake insisted on getting whatever you wanted.

You weren't necessarily hungry, having your lunch not too long ago and the thought of packing down a messy burger while having a sort-of serious conversation didn't seem like the best idea. Thus, the two of you sat silently, the soft music that played throughout the restaurant being the only noise to fill the space between you.

Taking a sip from the lemonade you ordered, you played with the garnish that was added to the rim. Growing antsy with the silence, you let out a small sigh. "Hey, uh, I didn't miss my lecture just for us to sit here right?"

Jake, who had seemed to be in a daze staring at the salt and pepper shakers at the corner of the table, blinks at the sound of your voice. Processing the words, he shakes his head. With a clear of his throat, he speaks. "No, no, sorry. I'm just trying to figure out how to explain this to you,"

"That's reassuring," You hum, sarcasm dripping from your words.

"Bianca is trying to cause trouble now because of what happened," Jake finally blurts, not knowing which way to start so he figured ripping off the bandaid would be best.

Your eyes widen slightly, stiffening up at the new information. "Jesus christ I didn't think she'd actually try to sue me over extensions,"

A small snort came from Jake, amused by your words as he shakes his head. "She's not quite there yet," He reassures, the tiniest of smiles quirking at the corners of his lips. "She did, however, go cry to her dad per usual. Word about me and you got back to my parents and they were on my ass about what happened,"

You tilt your head, not following where the conversation was meant to head if it weren't you ending up in legal debt. "Okay?"

"I had to lie," He starts off, wearily holding up his hands to show he meant no offense causing your suspicion to grow.

"About what exactly?"

"Well, keep in mind if I didn't then you probably would've gotten served papers over even held in a jail cell overnight," Jake clarifies, one of his hands awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he diverted his gaze to the tabletop, studying the lines of the wood. "As far as they're concerned, we're in a relationship,"

You blink, half expecting him to laugh it off and say it was all a joke. However, the grimace on his face in prep for your reaction spoke more truth than you'd like to acknowledge. "Okay... why exactly did you tell them that?"

"Because by saying you were my girlfriend, my parents were able to convince Bianca's dad that it wasn't technically your fault. She came by looking for a fight because she wanted me, even while I was in a relationship," He shrugs, taking a small sip from the bubbly soda that was rather untouched on his end. "She had been traveling around Europe for the past month so it's believable, I said we were fairly new either way,"

"So basically your parents think we're in a relationship," You sum up, finding the confession not as serious as he made it out to be initially.

"And so does Bianca, who goes here too," Jake adds, watching as you pinched your brows together, beginning to puzzle together what he meant by that.

"No,"

"Yeah," A sheepish smile took place on his lips, attempting to lighten the blow while you shake your head in denial. "If she finds out we're not actually together she'll go right back and snitch. Without me backing you up I'm sure she'll convince someone to get back at you, so for now we need to act like it's real,"

You sent Jake a bored look. "You're telling me that we have to fake date? The whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing and all?" He nods along, albeit hesitant but confirms your questions. You narrow your eyes, confused by how rather nonchalant he seemed by it all when offering such a thing. "What's in it for you?"

"Sorry?" Jake stutters, surprised by that being your first question.

"What do you get out of this? We barely know each other, I doubt this is out of the kindness of your heart,"

He pauses, lips pursing together with a slight nod. "Bianca's been pushing for us to get together since she transferred here," Jake admits, rolling his eyes at the thought. "Because of how ambit she is, my family encourages it. As long as she's happy, her dad will be happy, and in return it'll benefit them. But they’re not unreasonable. At least for right now, they'll back off because of said girlfriend,"

"You know, if I knew making out with you would lead me to this much trouble, I would've never let you dance with me," You sigh, watching as his expression morphed into a rather amused one.

"You kissed me first,"

"No I didn't,"

"You did," A smirk plays at the corners of his lips, satisfied with your uneasiness. You didn't remember much of that night, even after the spotty memories came back so it was highly probable what he said was true. "You were eager too," Pulling down the collar of his shirt, your eyes widening seeing the small cluster of bruising along his collarbone, presumably from your doing due to how faded they looked, almost healed but still noticeable. "Didn't take you as a girl who liked to leave a mark,"

"To be fair, I don't acknowledge my black out days. That's a whole different person," You shrug, gesturing for him to put the shirt back in place to keep the tacky hickeys out of view.

Reluctantly, Jake readjusted himself. Though the small laugh that left his lips didn't go unnoticed, feeling significantly more at ease now that the brunt of the conversation was over with and you seemed to take it better than anticipated.

Suddenly clapping your hands, you begin to dig through your backpack. Pulling out a piece of paper from a notebook and a pen from the front pocket, Jake watches as you began to scribble on the sheet. He could see the numbered list you began to make, leaning in closer to catch a glimpse of the words.

"Okay!" You smile, turning the sheet around and placing the pen down beside it. "Add or change anything that you want," Pushing the paper towards Jake, you allow him to take a second to read the mock contract you've created, the guidelines in your do's in dont's to the relationship agreement.

"Number one, don't get attached?" Jake reads aloud, slightly surprised by that being your highest priority along with the wording of it.

With a small shrug, you nod back. "All cliché movies always put down don't fall in love, I don't want to jinx it" You explain. "Personally, I've never had a problem with friends with benefits situations. The main thing is to never get attached though, so that's number one,"

He hums back, in silent agreement with your words and finding it comforting how not phased you were. Maybe it was because he'd been running away from a certain someone's grasp for a year but the nonchalant nature in how you approached the potential relationship seemed refreshing.

The rest of the list had general rules: no unnecessary PDA, no outside relationships during the duration of the agreement, always stick to the story, only tell those absolutely necessary of the agreement (ie Jay), don't make it weird after the contract ends, contract end date, April 3rd (?).

"Why April?" Jake asks, counting the days in his head to see it would be a near four months out.

"My birthday's the 27th. I don't want to be in a fake relationship on my 21st birthday, I'd like to get legally drunk and potentially hook up with whoever I want in peace," You snort, planning out the break up to have three weeks of separation to avoid suspicion. "I mean, we can always end it earlier that's just, the cut off ya know? Play it by ear,"

"Alright," Jake agrees, finding it reason enough. "What counts as excessive PDA?" You raise a brow, expecting him to know the answer in itself but he sheepishly shrugs, a boyish smile playing at his lips. "What? I tend to touchy in a relationship, I just want to know the boundaries,"

"As long as you're not constantly trying to make out with me everywhere we go we should be fine," You answer, narrowing your eyes as he nods, seemingly taking a mental note of it. "How touchy are you?"

"Very," Jake admits, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know my ex made me take one of those love languages test and physical touch was like, 70% of it I think,"

"Okay.. good to know," You mumble, not exactly surprised by the random fact considering even with friends and the handful of times you've been around, Jake was always very affectionate to the boys. "Mine goes acts of service, quality time, and then touch," Figuring you'd be playing the part for a while, it would be beneficial for you both to know what would be expected in a real relationship.

He hums. You watch as he pulls out his phone, beginning to type without a word to you. Raising a brow, slightly annoyed by his lack of attention to the ongoing conversation, you relax as he puts it down. From the upside view you had, you could see the title of the new note he made which read '___ FACTS' with your love languages listed below. A smile breaks way onto your lips, unable to keep it away causing Jake to tilt his head, confused by your sudden amusement but he couldn't help but quirk a smile of his own at your infectious expression.

"How do you feel about nicknames?" He instead asks, changing the topic without hitch.

"I'm good with any that aren't overly corny,"

"So no baby cakes?" You immediately shake your head, wincing at the name. "Sugar plum?" Somehow worse, you disagree though a small laugh left your lips as he began to list absurd pet names. "Pookie bear?"

"Never any of that," You emphasize, covering your face out of embarrassment while Jake grins, finding your reaction rather humorous. "I'm basic, a good baby or even sweetheart would suffice,"

"Babygirl?"

You scrunch up your nose, a small shrug on your end causing Jake to raise a brow out of surprise, half expecting you to turn it down straight away. Your response only furthers his less than innocent thoughts. "That only works when I'm drunk and horny,"

He clears his throat, a small nod to himself before he responds. "Good to know,”

#jake sim #enhypen jake #sim jaeyun #jaeyun x reader #jaeyun smut #enha x reader #enhypen #jake x reader #give me feedback guys pls #next chapter will be more i’m going to sleep !

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jklinges2003 · 10 months

Text

Just a Ghost of a Girl You Once Knew and Loved

A/N: Hey guys I decided to make my first short fanfiction on here. Even though I’ve made a lot of fanfics on Quotev, this is my first time writing one on tumblr, so if I mess up, don’t judge lol! Anyway, I started watching “The Summer I Turned Pretty” with my mom, including watching season 2 this summer and I swear it just leaves me intrigued, makes me laugh, makes feel like I’m actually in it and I wish I really was. And I am so team Jeremiah all the way! So, after I watched 2x06 and 2x07, in episode 6, Jeremiah and Belly almost kiss while at the end of episode 7, they finally kiss, but I can’t find the GIF from episode 6 from when they almost kiss cuz that’s what I want this short fanfic to be about and take place in. And I also might switch POVs.

codes: Y/N = Your name

Y/EC = Your eye color

SUMMARY: So, I imagined what would happen if a girl in the show (Y/N) was best friends with Belly for a long time and had a huge crush on Jeremiah at first, and even Y/N hooked up with Jeremiah in the first season but after him and Conrad’s mom Susannah died and after Y/N has been seeing signs of Jeremiah having feelings for Belly, they broke up before the events of season 2, but Y/N’s feelings for Jeremiah have never faded and as the group reunited in season 2, Y/N has been holding onto hope that something could happen with her and Jeremiah because she’s missed him so much. And even Jeremiah feels the same, but he just wouldn’t admit to her or even to himself since a part of him still has feelings for Belly. And throughout season 2, Y/N has been trying some casual attempts to get Jeremiah’s attention but failed every time. So, one night as the gang throws a party at the beach house to honor Susannah, and while Y/N was hanging out with a couple of friends, she witnesses something that just pushes her to her breaking point, increases her insecurities and her anger/jealousy towards Belly while she’s been trying to keep her friendship with her intact, and Y/N’s heartbroken behavior strikes a chord in Jeremiah and hits him with guilt.

SONG: “Part of Your World (Reprise II)” by Halle Bailey from Disney’s live-action Little Mermaid. I feel like the song matches Y/N’s situation really well, and I love Disney songs, so I wanted to choose this song.

Y/N’s POV:

The party for Susannah has been going great! It’s fun, loud, and it was a beautiful way to honor Susannah. I hoped I’d get closer with Jeremiah this time because out of all the attempts to try and get his attention while he’s been going all lovey-dovey on Belly even though they’re not even dating, I’ve failed. Jeremiah and I had something special last summer, we bonded really well, he brought out the best in me, and there’s nobody like him. He’s irreplaceable. At first I’ve always been a very shy and self-conscious girl, but after bonding with Jeremiah, his childish personality and his sweetness and fun energy is just so contagious that it just makes you wanna have fun and laugh with him. So, he brought out the fun and confidence that I never knew I had in me. And we even felt a strong connection and spark between us. Being with him always made me feel safe, he’s easy to talk to, he’s relatable, his light blue eyes just take my breath away and you can easily see the emotion in them. But, unfortunately, I regret us breaking up in the first place after Susannah died. And I could see it in his eyes that he does, too. Whenever he and I would talk, I could easily see that he feels lost and confused, like he wants to be with me again as if us breaking up was a mistake for him, too, but also another part of him wants to be with Belly since his feelings for her never faded while my feelings for Jeremiah have never faded. And every time he’d be affectionate and sweet towards Belly, my close best friend and who’s like a sister to me, I can’t help but feel nauseous as if seeing the sight of them together just makes me wanna puke, even though they’re not dating, but I respect their close friendship since they grew up together, and I have been trying to be strong and understanding and nice, but inwardly I just feel sick and it’s suffocating me, like I’m tired of bottling it up. And I have no one to talk to about it since I feel like they wouldn’t understand and that they’d think of me as just a sad pathetic ex-girlfriend who can’t get over her ex-boyfriend.

After watching Taylor and Steven’s talented dance moves for the song “Party In The U.S.A.”, I went back to hang out with Nicole and Dara. We laughed and talked for a bit until one of the girls brought up a relationship she’s in, and that immediately made me think of Jeremiah.

Since Jeremiah has always brought out the confidence in me, I have been thinking about it for a while and I have been waiting all summer to tell him my feelings and that I’ve never stopped loving him even though I was scared to since I didn’t wanna stand in the way between him and Belly. But, I realized I’ve got nothing to lose, and that it’s now or never.

I excused myself from the girls and walked into the crowd to look for Jeremiah. I looked and looked and looked. Until I saw something that just hit me in the heart. I saw Jeremiah and Belly sitting together closely, talking and looking at each other that way. I stood and watched worriedly as I glanced at Jeremiah and then Belly. The way they looked at each other was the same way me and Jeremiah looked at each other last summer when we hooked up and fell in love. I felt like I just wanted to run out of the room and throw up. Then, they stopped talking while still looking at each other with smirks, and then they both slowly leaned in, almost about to kiss until a girl yelling “Fight! Fight!” in another room interrupted them and gathered a crowd. Seeing Jeremiah and Belly almost kiss just hit me in my breaking point. I was about to tell Jeremiah how I felt and that I never stopped loving him, but after seeing what I saw…my chance was ruined. I was too late. The hope I had in me all summer was broken and turned into dust. And I felt ignored after all the tried-and-failed attempts to get Jeremiah’s attention, like as if I were a ghost of a girl he once knew and loved. Like as if what we had before was just nothing.

While the fight between Taylor’s ex-boyfriend Milo and Belly’s brother Steven was occurring in the other room, some other kids didn’t bother to watch the fight and just stayed behind, wanting to stay out of it. And also they were also either drunk or high. I’ve never been one to drink or do drugs or smoke or any of that stuff, I’ve made a vow to myself that I’d live life in a clean state of mind. But after witnessing Jeremiah and Belly together, since it hit my breaking point, I was at that stage where I didn’t wanna feel anything anymore.

I walked over to the group of kids in the kitchen, not wanting to talk to them, and instead just opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of beer. Since my emotions were shut off, I let my impulsiveness get the best of me and I started to open the bottle and chug the alcohol drink. I didn’t care that it tasted bad, I was just tired of feeling this way. After finishing half of the bottle already and walking around the party, trying to avoid Jeremiah, I then saw him and Conrad standing outside with Belly stuck in the middle of them and the two brothers were arguing, and I could easily tell that it was about Belly.

Ever since Belly has been hooking up with Jeremiah at first and then Conrad and then having to choose between them, I felt bad for her but I also got irritated at her because every time they would be loving and sweet to her, instead of listening to her heart about who she truly wants to be with, she just kept letting it happen and kept throwing herself at them, playing both brothers. They both don’t deserve that. Especially Jeremiah since after he and I got together, Belly and Conrad got together temporarily, and then since Jeremiah’s been crushing on Belly while he was really in love with me, and he was angry at Belly for hooking up with Conrad since her and Jeremiah kissed before while he and I were together which also caused our relationship to go downhill. The love triangle between Jeremiah, Belly, and Conrad is just stupid and annoying since Belly won’t make a decision about who she truly wants to be with, and now with me in it, it has turned into a love square. And the last thing I wanted was to be involved in a love triangle, let alone a love square. And now I got dragged into it due to my feelings for Jeremiah never leaving me. Could things get any worse?!

I continued drinking the rest of the bottle of beer, trying to numb everything inside me and to just escape from the pain. I started to get a little tipsy and even though it felt wrong, it also felt good since it helped numb the pain. Then while stumbling around the party and then sitting on the floor in a corner of a room, taking a few more swigs of the beer bottle, I started to lose myself into sorrow and despair.

The bottle of beer was then almost done. I was now really drunk. I kept accidentally bumping into people while stumbling and trying to keep myself standing. But, I started to hear Nicole ask me if I was okay since she saw that I wasn’t myself. My facial expression was blank, my eyes looked like as if something inside them had died, my face was tear-stained which caused a bit of mascara to run down my face, and my hair was a little bit untidy. When she asked if I was okay, my vision was blurry, my hearing was distorted and echoey, and my head was spinning and fuzzy. I didn’t respond to Nicole and instead just accidentally lost my balance near another kid who was carrying a glass of a drink, causing that kid to accidentally drop his glass which broke when it fell. And when I fell, the palm of my hand landed on the broken glass which caused my hand to bleed a little, but I didn’t feel the pain since I was numb and drunk.

A tiny crowd of the people gathered around me and started to look at me in concern, worry, and confusion all at once, and that was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t wanna be viewed as someone who was fragile and vulnerable, even though I knew that it was okay to be vulnerable once in a while since everybody has strengths and weaknesses. But, I just didn’t care anymore.

While there was a few people gathered around me, I kept reassuring them that I was okay, but the one person who I definitely didn’t want to check on me was none other than Jeremiah himself, but he checked on me anyway.

“Y/N? Y/N, are you okay?” Jeremiah asked as he kneeled down beside me to try to help me up, but I kept brushing him off and tried to pretend that I wasn’t hurting, both emotionally and physically. Emotionally from witnessing Jeremiah and Belly almost about to kiss, and physically from losing my balance due to my drunken state and falling to the floor and the palm of my hand landing on broken glass. So I even tried to hide my drunken state from Jeremiah since I didn’t want his pity.

“It’s f-f-fine. I’m…fine, Jer.” I tried to reassure, my voice slurring a bit as I tried to help myself up and stand on my own feet without losing my balance again and without Jeremiah seeing my bleeding hand.

But, he was looking at me that way with concern and worry. I finally managed to stand on my own two feet and then walked away from the crowd, stumbling and limping.

Jeremiah’s POV:

Seeing Y/N like this had me worried. I didn’t know what was going on with her, but she seemed pretty drunk and she looked upset for some reason. She shouldn’t be alone. She could get hurt or end up doing something stupid.

I followed her as she stumbled out of the room, but I lost her in the crowd. I looked around for her until something caught my eye. I saw her outside on the patio, walking away from the beach house and just heading down to the beach, still stumbling and limping.

I walked outside to the patio and follow Y/N down to the beach with the dark night sky in the view. She didn’t look like herself. I was really worried.

“Y/N! Y/N, what are you doing?” I asked her in concern as I caught up with her. Her pupils were dilated, her hair was untidy, she could barely walk, and she even had mascara running down her face so she looked like she had been crying. But why?

“Going to the beach. What do you think I’m doing?” Y/N asked sassily, her voice slurring. She was definitely drunk. I’ve always known her to be a goody-goody girl who would never want to drink, do drugs, or smoke, but she was actually drunk. What changed?

“But, y-you’re drunk. Are you sure you’re okay? And you fell back in there. Are you hurt?” I asked as I stopped her from walking any further towards the water since she’s too intoxicated to go for a swim. When I asked if she was hurt, I looked all over her body for any cuts or bruises or anything, until I spotted her hand bleeding. I took that hand gently and looked at her worriedly. But she immediately yanked her hand away and glared at me for some reason before stumbling to walk further towards the water. I stood in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders, preventing her from doing so.

“Y/N, your hand is bleeding. We need to clean that up and put either some band-aids or gauze on there. Let’s just go back inside, okay?” I said to her calmly, but sternly and worriedly before I put an arm around her shoulders to help her walk back inside the beach house. But she immediately refused and put up a fake smile, and her fake smile looked angry.

“No! No, no, no, no. I’m fine, Jer. You don’t need to help me. Why don’t you go and help Belly instead, hm? I’m sure she’s probably going through a lot after being stuck having to choose between you and your brother. So go ahead, why don’t you go help her and be her shoulder to cry on? I can take care of myself.” Y/N said while slurring before letting out a hiccup at the end of her last sentence. She was being stubborn as hell. And this was also a side of her that I’ve never seen before. Why was she acting this way, especially towards me?

“Y/N, I’m not gonna leave you out here by yourself, especially with your drunken behavior. I’m not gonna let you do something stupid. Like, what were you planning to do out here at the beach? Why were you walking towards the water?” I asked her, trying to be calm and gentle, but I had a bad feeling about Y/N’s intentions that it built worry inside me which caused me to raise my voice a little bit.

“None of your business. What is this, 20 questions or something? Just leave me alone, Jeremiah.” Y/N spat out, still slurring before she walked past me, still stumbling. I watched her about to go into the water, but her legs were shaking as if she could barely stand. I wanted to stop her and go get her, but I wanted to see what she was planning to do first so that I can really know what’s going on. She stopped for a second as the water reached to her knees, then she kept going until it was at her waist and she started to cover her mouth with her hand and then cover her nose with her other hand before she began to dunk her head into the water.

I widened my eyes as it immediately clicked. Y/N was about to kill herself by drowning while drunk! As I finally knew what she was about to do, I immediately took action and rushed into the water, grabbing Y/N by the waist and dragging her out of the water. She started screaming protests at me to let her go, but I couldn’t let her do this. I care about her so much. And…I actually love her, even though a part of me loves Belly. I just don’t know what to do. But after seeing Y/N like this and after us reuniting along with the others, I was actually really glad to see her. She’s a sight for sore eyes. She’s beautiful, she’s kind, caring, warm, honest, sweet, sassy, headstrong, authentic, moral, the voice of reason, and a talented singer with a beautiful voice. She’s even a better singer than I am. I did like her when she was a shy and introverted girl, though, I thought she looked adorable whenever she’d blush. But after we bonded last summer and fell in love, I started to see a more confident and silly side of her and I couldn’t help but love her even more. I miss what Y/N and I had together, even though I love Belly, too, but it’s not really the same with Belly actually. Y/N’s the one I feel something strong and loving for. She’s even tried to be there for me after my mom died, but I was too blind in my own grief and in my own conflicted feelings for Belly to even see it. How could I have been so blind?

Seeing Y/N acting like this was just heartbreaking and shocking to me. I was even more worried about her, especially since she just tried to kill herself by drowning in the ocean while completely drunk.

As I dragged her back to the sand while she was screaming protests at me, I ignored the protests and looked at her in shock, anger, heartbreak, and worry all at once.

“Y/N, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Why are you trying to kill yourself?” I asked her sternly as I held back tears in my eyes since I was trying to be strong for her.

“Why did you just help me?! I told you to go be with Belly!” Y/N snapped while slurring as tears filled her eyes. Why is she bringing up Belly while I’m focusing on Y/N and her safety?

“Y/N, this isn’t about Belly, this is about you. You’re drunk, you look like you’ve been crying, you’re acting like a different person, and you tried to kill yourself! Why are you acting like this, Y/N? Did something happen? Talk to me.” I said to her sternly, but calmly as I tried to keep myself together.

“No, if you wanna go be with Belly, be with her! She’s all yours! I won’t stand in the way! So, just leave me alone!” Y/N snapped as a tear rolls down her cheek, her voice still slurring. Why is she talking about Belly like this? She’s Y/N’s best friend and they’ve always been like sisters. This wasn’t the Y/N I knew and loved.

“Y/N, what are you talking about? What do you mean you won’t stand in the way and that Belly’s all mine? Where’s all this coming from?” I asked her in concern, hoping to get her to talk. But, she immediately exploded the truth about the cause of her problem while slurring.

“I SAW! I saw everything! I saw you and Belly almost kiss back in there before the fight between Milo and Steven broke out!” Y/N shouted through her slurs and through her tears. She even had her eyes either looking down or her eyes closed as if she could barely look at me.

When she admitted that to me, I started to remember when me and Belly talked back in the house during the party, and we talked about the flings I had from last summer and through the whole year after me and Y/N broke up and when Belly got together with Conrad. Then I remembered telling Belly that she’s a better kisser than out of all the girls and guys I’ve kissed, including Y/N. I can’t believe I actually said that because Y/N was a good kisser, too. She really was. And I even remembered during this whole summer when me and her and the rest of the gang were hanging out and Y/N tried some attempts to get my attention since she must’ve had hope for us and I didn’t even realize it. I’ve been ignoring Y/N all summer and I didn’t realize it till now. How could I have been so stupid?!

I felt such a pang of guilt and regret for how I’ve been treating Y/N. I’ve treated her as if she weren’t around and as if she were second and I’ve been putting Belly first. I realized Belly’s not the only one stuck in the middle of a love triangle and between me and my brother, I was even stuck between two girls who matter so much to me. With Belly, it was real and I really loved her, at first it was like a brother and sister relationship, but…ever since I saw her last summer, I was done for. She took my heart with her. But then, at that time, Belly brought Y/N to Cousins for the first time and introduced her as her best friend, and Y/N just took my breath away. I know that I started to feel something for Belly, but when I met Y/N, I knew there was something special about her that was just so magnetic to me. I wanted to know her. And what we had was real and strong, too. And I realized now that it was stronger than what me and Belly had because even if Belly liked me back a bit, it was always gonna be Conrad for her, even if she wouldn’t admit it. It finally hit me.

Y/N’s the one for me.

I looked at her with guilt, regret, and sympathy as I realized what I put her through and what she had to witness tonight. I put a hand on her arm, trying to be as comforting as possible.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I-I-I didn’t realize that you…” I was just at a loss for words as I still kept trying to process this.

“That I what?! Huh? That my feelings for you still haven’t faded and that I never stopped loving you?! I’ve tried to get your attention all summer and tried to get you to realize that I’m still here, but you just kept pining for Belly and acting all affectionate to her while you ignored me and acted as if I wasn’t the room, like as if what we had together has been forgotten! And you and her aren’t even dating, yet you act like you are, even though you two are best friends, but why can’t you just admit it to yourself that…that you still love me, too? I’ve seen it in your eyes, they can easily tell what you’re feeling. And when you were around me this summer, I had hope for us! But you just won’t open your eyes and realize what’s right in front of you! I was about to tell you how I felt, and yet I catch you and Belly about to kiss! I just…I just couldn’t bear the sight of that, so I’m actually glad the fight between Milo and Steven broke out and interrupted you and Belly. I know that’s rude to say, but I just can’t pretend that I’m okay anymore! All this time ever since everything that’s happened, I haven’t been okay! And neither have you, and I’ve tried to be there for you and reconnect with you at least, but…you didn’t want anything to do with me and the only person you’d talk to was Belly! I’ve gone through enough hell. And so has Belly, so I’m just gonna go…have a little ‘chat’ with her.” Y/N explained everything to me through her tears and her drunken slurs about the hell she’s been going through ever since me and her broke up and ever since my mom died.

And as she said everything, it was all true and I didn’t even realize it all till now. And what she said struck a chord in me. I’ve been leaving her all alone and I shouldn’t have done that. Well, not anymore. I’m not gonna leave her alone anymore, no matter how much she stubbornly tells me off. I’m gonna make up for my mistakes. Then, as Y/N says the last part, she stumbles as she stands up on her feet, holding her fingers up like quotes. I knew she wasn’t just gonna have chat with Belly, she was gonna confront her. I couldn’t have her do that. Her friendship with Belly has always been so important to her so I couldn’t let her be the one to destroy it by having a confrontation and argument with Belly.

“Y/N, no. Just…Just come back to the house, I’ll let you stay with me, okay?” I offered kindly as I tried to help her and not let her be by herself in her drunken state and in her painful heartbreak.

“No! I don’t need saving, Jer. I’m not some piece of glass who’ll end up breaking. I’m fine. Just let me go.” Y/N protested as she tried to walk away from me and walk back to the house. I wanted to stay with her, but I had to respect her decision if she could handle it. I watched in concern from behind as Y/N kept stumbling up the small wooden board steps that would lead up to the patio of the beach house, her legs started to shake again as if she could barely stand and walk.

She then took another step until she tripped and fell down to her knees, making me immediately rush up to her side and try to help her up and help her walk.

“Y/N, let me help you.” I offered while trying to help her stand, but she pushed me away and kept protesting.

“No! Just leave me alone, Jer! If you don’t walk away right now, I’m gonna have to beat the shit out of you!” Y/N threatened drunkenly while she was holding back tears again and trying to stand up on her own.

“Oh, yeah? Let me see you try. I’m not gonna leave you, no matter how many times you push me away. I’ve pushed you away already, I’m not doing it this time.” I responded with sternness and determination in my voice.

As I challenged her to see her try if she can fight me off and push me away, I knew she didn’t have the guts to do it since I knew she still had love in her heart for me. She sat on her knees while I was kneeling next to her, and she turned around and tried slapping my chest and shoving me away, but her pushes weren’t strong enough. She kept trying and trying through her frustrated grunts as if I were her punching bag, but I didn’t let it affect me. She needed to take it out on anything or anyone. And since she was mad at me, I already took responsibility for how I treated her, so I felt like I deserved to be slapped and pushed since I was actually such an asshole.

Then after a few failed shoves and slight slaps from her, she started to get frustrated and feel defeated since I wasn’t going anywhere. Her shoves and slaps started to weaken and she immediately began to finally let out her tears even more. She broke down sobbing as her attempts to push me away and slap me were weakening and slowing down, and she started to lean her head and body against me while sobbing in defeat, frustration, and heartbreak. I wrapped my arms around her securely and protectively, holding her close to me and never wanting to let go of her.

“Shhh…it’s okay, it’s okay, Y/N. You’re okay, you’re okay, I’m here. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere, okay? Shh…” I whispered softly while holding her tightly but gently, trying to comfort her. She still kept crying in my arms, one of my hands rubbing her back and my other hand caressing the back of her head and her hair. I held back tears as the sound of her cries just broke my heart.

“Y-You left me, Jer…! Why are you still here? Why aren’t you leaving me now? You…You love Belly…!” Y/N said through her drunken sobs as if she was expecting me to just walk away from her after I’ve been ignoring her all summer that she was used to being walked away and abandoned. My heart was just absolutely breaking for her even more. She didn’t deserve this at all. How could I do this to her?

“Because…Because I…I-I-I still—” I was about to respond to her that it was because I still loved her, but before I could finish, I felt her body go limp and she was breathing normally and peacefully, her eyes were closed while her face was tear-stained, and she still had mascara running down her face. She was passed out drunk in my arms.

I sighed guiltily and shamefully, and yet in relief that she was finally out cold so that she wouldn’t do anything stupid while drunk. Then, I put a hand under her legs while I put another hand under her back, lifting her up and carrying her bridal style.

I walked back in the beach house while carrying a passed out asleep Y/N through the party in the house, hoping everyone wouldn’t gossip or be concerned about it since I was already taking care of it. And also some of the kids were drunk anyway, so I’m sure some of the other kids didn’t care.

Then, I carried Y/N to my empty bedroom which only had my sleeping bag since me and Conrad’s bitchy aunt Julia removed everything from the house since she was selling it. And I hated that the beach house was being sold. It held too much memories of me and Conrad’s mom. But now that all the furniture is gone, it’s like memories of our mom are gone, too.

I gently laid Y/N on another sleeping bag that I had laying next to mine and I tucked her in, making sure she was comfortable. Then, I stood up and looked at her sleeping figure. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, despite that she was a drunken mess tonight and despite the mascara running down her face, she still looked beautiful to me. Then, I started to hear a girl crying coming from the bedroom next to mine. I leaned against the wall and heard Belly drunkenly crying in her bedroom. She was trying to call her mom, Laurel, for help since she had nowhere else to turn to about the situation with her having to choose between me and Conrad which is causing tension between me and my brother and also she told Laurel about trying to get the house back while everything she’s trying to do to help just keeps going wrong and she needed help. Her cries even broke my heart. A part of me wanted to go in there and hold her. I couldn’t bear to have my best friend upset like this. But, after what Y/N has been through not just tonight but throughout the whole year?

I thought about it for a moment again and I looked over at a sleeping Y/N, and I told myself again that I’m never gonna abandon her again. I’ve been focusing on Belly and putting her first all summer that I’ve been ignoring Y/N, so it’s time to make up for my mistakes and put Y/N first this time.

I slowly walked over to her and laid down in my sleeping bag right next to the sleeping bag that Y/N is sleeping in. I stared at her sleeping face again and after what happened tonight, I can’t get it out of my head. I could’ve lost Y/N tonight and it was my fault. As I looked at her with remorse, guilt, care, and sympathy, it felt as if a magnet was pulling me. I sat up and leaned forward and down, planting a gentle loving kiss on Y/N’s cheek before laying back down, getting ready to go to sleep.

Y/N’s POV:

As I was passed out asleep from being drunk tonight, I had no idea where I was at the moment. But, I opened my eyes very slightly in which my vision was very blurry and the room was dark since it was nighttime and my hearing was ringing and echoey as the party was going on downstairs. All I could see was someone’s sleeping face in front of mine, but I couldn’t tell who it was. Instead, my eyes just closed again as my eyelids just felt too heavy to be open and my head was pounding.

The next morning, I started to feel like crap. I opened my eyes slightly as the ringing in my ears started and then finally faded away. My head was pounding, I felt a bit nauseous, makeup was running down my face, and my hair was untidy. I looked around the room and wondered how I got here. I also noticed a gauze wrapped around one of my hands. I couldn’t even remember a thing about what happened last night. I could only remember that I was dancing and hanging out with a couple of girlfriends, and then I was crying for some reason, and that I took a walk on the beach. But the rest was all just a blur.

As I slowly sat up, I immediately heard a familiar voice next to me.

“Morning, Y/N.” Jeremiah said to me sleepily but with a concerned and sympathetic look on his face. I looked over at him and seeing him lay there next to me startled me and left me in surprise. What was he doing here laying next to me while he ignored me all summer? What the hell happened?

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as my head was still pounding a bit.

“Jeremiah? Wh-What are you doing here? What am I doing in…in your empty bedroom? What happened last night?” I asked nervously and in confusion, my voice slightly slurring since I was hungover, and I needed answers.

“You don’t remember?” Jeremiah asked in concern as he sat up, sitting next to me. I tried to think hard and see if I could remember anything about what happened last night, but I couldn’t remember. I looked over at him and shook my head.

Then, the moment was interrupted when me and Jeremiah heard Belly and her mom Laurel arguing in the room next door, their voices muffled until we heard Belly’s bedroom door open and close. Jeremiah helped me stand up to my feet before we both walked over to the door and opened it, only to see a crying Belly walking past us and past Conrad in the hallway. She looked behind her and glanced at us before continuing to walk away and walk downstairs. I wondered why she was upset. But whatever it was, I was concerned and felt bad for her.

Then Conrad looked over at us and glanced at me before looking at his brother as if he were encouraging him or something. Jeremiah nodded softly at him before taking my hand, closing the door behind us as we’re still in his empty bedroom. He sat us on the sleeping bags as I looked at him in confusion and in concern. He looked like he wanted to tell me something.

“Y/N…are you sure you don’t remember anything about last night?” Jeremiah asked me in concern in which I shook my head slightly before responding.

“All I remember is dancing and laughing while hanging out with a couple of girlfriends and then…I was crying for some reason, and then I took a walk on the beach. And the rest is all just a blur. And now for some reason I ended up here. What happened, Jer?” I explained all I could remember before asking him in concern about what else happened last night.

He took a deep breath while trying to find the right words to explain to me about what else happened last night. He looked as if he didn’t wanna bring up what happened last night since it would bring back the pain and heartbreak.

“Well, um…you, uh…you were pretty drunk. And…you were at the beach to go in the water to…to commit suicide, but I stopped you and asked you what was wrong, and you…admitted that you, um…saw me and Belly…almost kiss. And…you also explained to me the hell you’ve been going through ever since our breakup a few months ago and ever since my mom’s death. And…also that I’ve been ignoring you all the summer since I’ve been focusing a lot on Belly and I was too blind to see that…that you were still in my life and…” Jeremiah explained everything to me before he trailed off and paused as he could barely finish the sentence. His eyes were tearing up as he felt huge remorse and guilt for what he put me through and he wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive himself.

“God, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so, so, very sorry about how I’ve treated you like as if you weren’t in the room. I’m so sorry I ignored you and didn’t put you first and didn’t realize what you were going through. That’s a mistake I won’t make again. I feel like I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but…I realized that…that I also never stopped loving you.” Jeremiah apologized sincerely as a tear rolled down his cheek. As he explained everything, I started to remember a little bit even though it was still a blur. I felt embarrassed that I vented to him about how I’ve been feeling the night before and I didn’t wanna drag him into my problems. But when he said that he also never stopped loving me, I widened my eyes and looked at him in surprise.

“I…Oh my God, I feel so embarrassed for my behavior. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I dragged you into my problems. But…But what about Belly? You love her, don’t you?” I asked, unsure if he was just playing me if a part of him is gonna feel something for Belly and I didn’t want him to choose between me and her. But I was unaware that he already made a decision.

“Yeah, about that, I thought I felt something for her since…last summer when I saw her new glow up and when she first brought you to Cousins for the first time…I thought I was done for. Like, I really felt something for her, but…when I met you and bonded with you and also she’s always gonna love Conrad, even if she won’t admit it to herself…I realized I was lying to myself. I thought I liked her, but…Belly’s not like you, Y/N. You’re irreplaceable. And I’m so sorry that I didn’t see that sooner. Ending things between us was a mistake. I miss what you and I had just as much as you do. And…I don’t know if you can ever forgive me, but I—” Jeremiah said honestly to me as he took my hand. But, I was actually proud of him for finally making his decision. And I just hoped that Belly would soon decide who she truly wants, too, and I hoped it would be Conrad she’d choose because they were actually good together, even though they were opposites.

So, as Jeremiah kept talking, I immediately cut off him off by quickly leaning in and kissing him on the lips, taking him by surprise until he kissed me back. Our kiss was passionate, loving, and tender. His lips just felt so soft and smooth and he was a very good kisser. Then, we pulled away as we gazed in each other’s eyes, his bright blue eyes staring into my Y/EC.

“So…does…does that mean you…forgive me?” Jeremiah asked while he was still in shock from me making the first move and kissing him.

“Of course I forgive you, you lovable doofus.” I responded while smirking and tousling Jeremiah’s golden curls, messing his hair up and making him laugh.

“Hey!” Jeremiah whined playfully through his laughter before flipping his short golden curly hair, making it still look the same as it did before. I giggled before he smirked and tickled me on my waist as revenge from when I untidied his hair.

I squealed and laughed and squirmed around as he tickled me. Then I waved my hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay! I give! I surrender!” I protested through my laughter before Jeremiah stopped tickling me and smirked. Then he leaned down as I was laying down on my back on the sleeping bag and we giggled again before we shared another tender, loving kiss.

I felt my heart beating out of my chest. I was so ecstatic and relieved that I was actually back together with Jeremiah! I felt as if the darkness inside me has been taken away and then the light has risen inside me again.

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bengiyo · 5 months

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BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes, The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

#Ben writes #best of bl 2023 #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #filipino bl #korean bl #ben watches

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 20 days

Note

Hi. I’m sending this anonymously but if tumblr glitches and it isn’t anonymous please don’t post this because I’m absolutely completely entirely mortified.

I’m 20 FtM. About a year and a half ago, when I moved out and started at college, I discovered fandom, and began to get really into reading fics on AO3. My parents had heavily restricted my internet access growing up, and as new adult I began to discovered the barrage of content online.

Soon enough, I was spending about an hour or two every night reading smut fics. I never thought anything of it, because, well, it’s just words, it’s not *actually* porn, right?

Recently I did start watching some explicit videos but tried to limit myself to only once or twice a month because the shame I felt as well as the strange dissatisfaction just wasn’t worth it.

After doing some research, I found a study that said that watching porn for more than an hour a week was unhealthy. I thought, yeah, okay, fair enough.

Then I realised: does my fanfiction reading count as pornography?

I kept thinking to myself that because it was text it didn’t count, but —does it? Is that the reason that lately I’ve been feeling strangely dissatisfied and empty after reading/watching? Will I feel like this when I eventually have sex?? (still a virgin, mainly for dysphoria reasons)

I found all this stuff online that says porn addictions can screw you over for life, that you can’t find sexual satisfaction with a partner.

Should I cut back?

I don’t normally masturbate while consuming porn. I feel too ashamed. I normally just sit there and read/watch.

Am I a porn addict?????? Should I quit reading smut? Help.

If you can’t tell, I wasn’t raised in a very sex positive environment and I feel very ashamed. I don’t really know who to talk to and I just feel very guilty so I’m resorting to an anonymous ask on Tumblr.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time. I appreciate it.

— Jason

hi Jason,

I don't think you're a porn addict. I think you're probably just an anxious 20 year old from a pretty restrictive background and now that you have a little more freedom you're kind of nervous about it, which is very normal.

I want to be super clear: written porn is porn. porn is any sexually explicit material designed to titillate; it's existed since WAY before the moving picture existed and it will exist long after the internet has crumbled to dust. people like porn! and it's okay to like porn. the text-based stuff is particularly high on the list of porn that's pretty unambiguously fine, morally-speaking, because you never have to worry that the performer you're watching has had their video stolen by pornhub or that, god forbid, anyone onscreen isn't a willing participant, but I want to be super clear that liking sexually explicit photos or videos of real people is also 100% fine.

obviously I have no idea what study you read, but I'd be cautious about any study being boiled down to such black and white, attention-grabbing headlines. you can interpret a study to mean virtually anything if you want to, and there are a lot of interest groups with a vested interest in demonizing porn. if reading smutty fan fic makes you happy and isn't interfering with the rest of your life, you should do that.

unfortunately it sounds like it's not making you happy lately, dissatisfied and empty feelings. in the kindest way possible, I don't think much of that is being caused by the porn itself. it sounds like it's coming from your gnawing worry that you're a porn addict. maybe it's best to take a little step away from porn and smutty fic for a while, if only until you feel able to engage with it without feeling bad.

also, speaking of porn addiction: that's a very dubious condition, and one that's not scientifically or medically recognized. to be certain, people can develop a reliance on porn that disrupts their daily function and can wreak havoc on their lives, but that's true of anything that causes your brain to spit out happy chemicals. anything that become a maladaptive coping mechanism, including and especially things that are fine and even necessary in small doses. sleeping, exercising, and going shopping are all things that can be life-ruining if done to harmful excess, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong if you like to sleep in, go for runs, or browse your favorite online stores every once in a while.

if reading smut isn't causing you to skip out on your more important obligations, fail to take care of yourself, or bringing on bankruptcy, I think you're probably alright. the biggest danger I see here is you beating yourself over the head with your own anxiety about this, which may be a sign that it's a good idea to take a step back for entirely different reasons than you were worried about.

#sex edventures 2024

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madi-writes-things · 26 days

Text

Nobody Pt. 6

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 1,318

TW:MASSIVE WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! (TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MY WRITING IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH), Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Blood, Panic Attacks, Hurt Comfort, SUI ATTEMPT, Crying, Really Depressing, lots of POV swaps, Not Edited

A/N: Thank you for all of the support that I’ve been getting for this story, this chapter is really heavy… PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Please do not read if it will negatively impact your health, this story on tumblr is not worth it. I’ll put a brief summary at the beginning of the next chapter, for those who need to skip. This is probably the worst that it will get. Love you guys so much 🥰

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I woke up to Chris wrapped around my waist, just like I had for the last seven months. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this facade, but I also don’t know if I can let it go. The worst part is that I can’t even vent to my best friend, seeing as he is the cause of this whole situation. I stare down at Chris, his hair is so soft. I feel the burn of tears in my eyes, trying best to stop them from falling. Failing miserably.

My sniffles cause Chris’s to lift his head up to look at me. “What’s wrong?” I tell him it’s nothing, not a big deal. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, he sits up looking deep into my eyes. “You can tell me anything Y/N, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or anything.” I just cry harder. He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I burrow my face into his shoulders.

we stay like that for an indeterminate amount of time. I cry until I physically can’t anymore, Chris doesn’t make me explain myself.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I barely sleep anymore.

Y/N has been drifting away for months now, and it scares the shit out of me. I’m scared that if I fall asleep she’ll sneak past me and relapse. I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost her, I don’t know who I would be.

I’m scared to leave her alone, to the point that I don’t even want to leave her to go film with my brothers. The fans have commented on how many videos we’ve made at our house, rather than our usual car videos. I just tell Matt and Nick that I feel bad leaving her alone without us.

I knew it was a mistake to leave her alone tonight, but the fans were getting suspicious. We made the decision not to tell the fans, since we didn’t plan for this charade to go on for so long. I don’t know if I can end it, I’m too in love with her to imagine laying in an empty bed again.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV (start of the really bad stuff)

The guys left to film a car video, it’s been months since they did that. I haven’t been alone long enough to think about relapsing, but sitting alone in Chris’s room, the feeling of loneliness is crushing me.

I need to distract myself. Chris would be so disappointed in me if I didn’t, and I can’t call him while he’s recording. I’ll cook myself something for dinner, the guys will be happy to eat when they get home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Dinner came and went, and I still didn’t feel better. I was scared to call Chris, I didn’t want to bother him and his brothers. It was a mistake.

I stare down, my legs tore to shreds and the wounds on my wrists, I need help. I don’t think I really want to die, I was just overwhelmed. I can’t let them find me dead. I can’t make them hurt the same way that I have. I need to call someone.

I reach for my phone, trying desperately to open it. The blood on my hands makes everything harder, but I can’t get up to get a towel. If I stand up I’ll surely pass out. I’m already lightheaded, just hoping that Chris answers my call.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I’m laughing with my brothers and I don’t notice it at first. A small buzz in my pocket. There it is again. As soon as I pull it out I panic.

LOML 🥰 CALLING… ✅ ❎

“Guys! Stop talking real quick.” I immediately press the answer button. “Baby… is everything okay?”

No response. Fuck.

“Matt we need to go home.” He gives me a worried look, but before he can say anything I’m talking into the phone again. “Baby, I need you to talk to me… tell me everything is okay.”

there’s a second before she responds, I can tell that she’s been crying based on the sniffles from her end. “I fucked up Chris.”

My heart drops.

“go faster Matt!” Fuck. “What happened, I need you to tell me what you did!” I don’t mean to yell, but I’ve never been more scared in my life.

“I don’t want to die…” No. This isn’t real. It cant be.

“You aren’t going anywhere, I promise.” I quickly turn to nick and tell him to get 911 on speed dial. “Please just keep talking to me, I need to hear your voice.”

Matt breaks multiple laws in an attempt to get home, but I don’t notice. My whole focus is on keeping Y/N talking. When we get home we all rush upstairs.

“Nick, go sit in the loft.” He looks offended when I say it. “She wouldn’t want you to see her like this, I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I let you.” He stays where he is. “Please Nick!” My voice cracks as I say his name. He leaves with tears In his eyes.

“Matt I need you to get the first aid kit from under her bed, it should have everything I need.” With that I open the door to the bathroom.

the scene in front of me is like something straight out of a horror film. I can’t even tell where the blood is coming from. I immediately rush to her side.

“I’m so sorry… I tried to distract myself, I promise.” She’s rambling, but I don’t mind. I’m trying so hard not to cry, but she looks so pale.

“don’t apologize, I’m not mad, nobody is mad” it doesn’t stop the tears, she’s still a sobbing mess beneath me.

Matt returns with the kit, clearly distraught. “It’s okay Matt, it doesn’t look like she needs stitches.” He looks frozen in place, and his breathing is erratic. Shit. “Go sit with nick… she’s going to be okay.” After a few moments he finally pulled himself out of the doorway.

by the time I’m done cleaning her up, Y/N’s tears have dried up. “You don’t need stitches…” I stare at the deep lines that run across each wrist. “But it would make the scars smaller, do you want to go to the hospital?”

“NO!” She’s shaking her head violently. “Please don’t make me go, they’ll take me away again!” I can see the tears forming again.

“ok, we don’t have to go.” I grabs the butterfly bandages, and start pulling the skin together, before tightly wrapping it with gauze. She’s more covered in gauze wrapping than actual clothes at this point. I carry her to my room and get her changed, before taking her to the loft.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Chris changed me, being very gentle around my gauze, and then he set me down on the loft couch next to Nick and Matt. I hear him mumble something about them staying with me while he cleans up.

I can see the relief in Nicks eyes when he sees that I’m alive, Matt just locks eyes with me and leaves. I never meant to upset him, but I can’t seem to find the tears for it right now. I fall into nicks chest and he just holds me.

I tell Nick everything. The relapse. The fake dating ruse. The fact that I really do love Chris.

He just tells me that it’s okay. He promises me that he’s not mad.

Once Chris is done cleaning the bathroom floor, he takes me to lay down in his bed. He’s so gentle when he snakes his arms around me, careful not to hit my arms or legs.

“I told Nick…” he just stares into my eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to love me anymore, there’s no point in lying anymore.”

“who said I was pretending?”

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

#madi writes things #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris x reader #sh!reader #tw: sh #self h@rm #tw: suidice

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hee0soo · 1 year

Text

Backstage Scare

Summary:You visit your boyfriend while he´s touring with the boys but not everyone knows who you are to them!

Request: by @andjeoidjavo

Soo, I thought about a SKZ scene, where the reader is the gf, but gets in a situation where she needs to be kinda saved? Like someone was getting to close to her and wouldn’t leave her alone; being a bit more touchy and aggressive/disrespectful? And another member was there to protect her? Like, it got sooo bad that the member had to physically intervene?

Idc who the bf is tbh, but I think I kinda want to see the interation between the member and the gf, like she is a part of the family and they all love her and respect her☺️

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©hee0soo on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

You and your boyfriend hadn´t seen each other in a while now. Him being on the second World Tour with the members and you staying at home because of your work!

But now you had a few days off and were determined to join them at least for 1 or 2 tour stops! The members all knew about your arrival and were very excited to see you again after not having seen you in a while.

Of course you had kept in contact with them through texts but nothing could beat the joy you felt when you were hanging out with them.

Chan had been the most excited to see you, having insisted that he would pick you up from the airport with the manager! He wanted to be the first one to hold you before his members could whisk you away from him again.

The manager had made him wait in the car as to no cause a scandal, which he petulantly accepted. He could have been told to wait at the hotel or venue after all! That was not something he wanted to risk even in the slightest…

Now that he was sitting in the car, waiting for you to walk through the door of Terminal, he couldn´t sit still anymore. The poor boy did his best not to rip the car door open and run to you when he finally managed to see your figure!

Patience is a virtue is what the manager told him when he had gotten out!

He couldn´t care less about it at the moment but also had the group to keep in mind. To the fans, you were just a member of the staff and you both wanted to keep it that way. At least for now!

After your luggage was finally stowed into the trunk, you finally opened the door and climbed onto the back seat. The door had barely closed when you got pulled into the strong embrace of your boyfriend.

“I missed you too Channie!” you laughed as he hid his face in your hair. Your arms engulfing his torso while doing so.

The manager only shook his head fondly as he watched the reunion through the rear mirror!

“Oh you have no idea how much I’ve missed you! How was I ever able to handle the members without you by my side!”

His face came into few when he pulled back to look you in the eyes.

Not having the power to resist his brown chocolate orbs anymore you put your hands on his cheeks and kissed him softly. Chan could almost taste the longing in your lips and he was sure you could too!

You were going straight to the venue as the other members were already waiting for their leader to go over the sound check together and the drive took about an hour until the car arrived at its destination. Giving to you more than enough time to catch up on what was going on in your lives without anyone interrupting.

Well besides the boys, who had started spamming the groups chat like crazy halfway through the drive!

Getting greeted by the members could be compared to getting swarmed by a bunch of over excited puppies nipping at your ankles for attention and you were happy to give them said attention any time!

Soon after, sound check started and you made yourself comfortable on a couch next to one of the managers.

You could feel several security guards eyeing you carefully as you talked to the him but ultimately left you alone.

It only became a problem when you had to search for the rest room to freshen up for a moment. The manager had pointed you to where you had to go and you quickly went there.

Sound check was almost over at that point so you guessed that the boys were already going to be back stage by the time you came back.

You did your business, washed your hands and left again, wandering the hallway to find your way back to where you were going to wait for Chan.

It took you a while to find your sense of orientation again, walking into the wrong direction 2 times before you found the right way.

Apparently one of the security guards who hadn´t seen you yet found the way you were wandering a bit to suspicions for his liking!

“Who are you and what are you doing here?”

His stance was defensive and you took a step back as he got in your way.

“I´m a- friend of the boys. The manager knows who I am. You can verify my identity with him if you´d like.” You answered politely befor attempting to push past him.

The man didn´t budge.

“Did you think I’d believe that little story of yours?” he asked gruffly and took another step towards you.

“It´s not a story! The manager can verify that, so can we please go talk to him?”

The guard shook his head in disbelief.

“This is a restricted area and I don´t see a badge anywhere on you so no, you will not get anywhere near the artists or their manager any time soon! And now LEAVE!”

Anger started bubbling inside of you. Not at the guard, he was only doing his job! But at you for not bringing the staff badge you had been given by the manager earlier.

“Sir I understand that you are just doing your job so please could you just get the manager to verify that I DO belong here and that he has the staff badge! It’s with the manager! Who, again, can tell you exactly who I am!”

Without waiting to receive an answer you tried to get past him again but the guard roughly grabbed your arm. It hurt but not too bad that you had to scream. Instead you tried to squirm your way out of his hold to get away from him!

“Let me go!”

“If you won´t leave on your own accord then I will make you leave!”

His hold tightened significantly and pushed you wards the exit while you whimpered at the sudden pressure on your arm.

“She said let go!” came a dangerously calm voice from behind you and the guard.

The man either didn´t hear it or completely ignored it but you recognized your boyfriend in a heartbeat!

“Channie!”

You looked over your shoulder to see him, Changbin and Felix walking over to where you were led away.

Changbin was the first to react. The small rapper skipped over to grab the guards arm that was holding yours tightly!

Surprised by the sudden touch, the man’s head whipped around.

Chan who had walked up to where Changbin was holding the poor man! He let go and you used the chance to slip past him and behind Chan! Felix wrapped his arms around your shaking form, shushing you as silent tears had started to run down your cheeks.

“She belongs to us and if you want to keep your job I’d suggest you scram now!” the leader told the man. You had only ever heard that tone from him when it was about the member’s health, safety or treatment before!

The man took the advice to heart and left quickly to lick his wounds.

Chan turned back to you.

“Can you show me your arm baby?” he asked gently as he looked at your anxious face.

Felix took the arm you were holding and held it so Chan could see well.

The skin was red and it would definitely bruise a bit.

But with the hugs of your friends and kisses of your boyfriend, you were sure that it would heal quickly before you would go home again.

An added plus was that Chan would not let you out of his sight for the remaining time you had together!

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oneeyedgrimes · 1 month

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Beat This World.

Summary: you were inlove with Daryl. you had been for a while but you hid it telling yourself you’d tell him one day, one day too late.

Tw: major character death, angst, pinning, all that good stuff.

ELLO TUMBLR This is my first time writing here I just needed to write for my husband because if I didn’t I would COMBUST. this DEFINITELY isn’t proof read as I started this at 2 and it’s 4 now so if there’s any errors don’t be afraid to let me know, constructive criticism is always welcomed and appreciated, enjoy loves!

You had always noticed Daryl. Since the day you stumbled upon the quarry, you’d been by yourself for who knows how long and when you finally found the group, he was the first person you laid your eyes on, pointing his bow ready to shoot and end your life at anytime and the only thing you could think was how pretty his eyes were in the sunlight.

From then on you found yourself trying to get to know him more, sitting next to him when the group would cook the squirrels he found, trying to get him to teach you how to hunt. The two of you even found yourselves up late unable to sleep and you would find eachother and just sit and look at the stars and that was all the both of you needed, you’d barely speak on nights like that you’d just soaked up each others presence.

By the time the group found Alexandria you and Daryl’s relationship was better than ever, though with the recent loss of Beth after just finding out she had been alive, watching her die infront of him Daryl had been more closed off, but you understood, ofcourse you did, so you gave him space, made yourself busy working on things around Alexandria.

But soon distance became barely seeing each other, and that only made your heart ache for him even more, you so desperately wanted your bestfriend back even if that was all it would be, even if you wanted him to yourself, even if you did want to feel the feeling of his lips on yours, you would take what you could get.

You’d finally found Daryl sitting on carol’s porch sharpening his knife, you stopped just before you came into his view and just looked at him, seeing him up close after not seeing him for so long, it felt like you’d fallen inlove with him again right there and it hurt.

“ Daryl can we talk please? I get it if you’re too busy but I really just wanted to talk to yo-“ Daryl looked up at her the slightest bit of a smirk sitting on his lips before he cut off your rambling “ hey, I ain’t ever ta’ busy for ya’ wha’s up” Daryl’s attention was fully on you and now you were nervous.

“ I miss you. I’ve barely seen you since we got here at this place and everything’s so weird and these people look at me like I’m some kind of alien and I know you’re working and doing things to keep people safe and this may be selfish of me but I miss you and I want you to be around more” Tears prickled at your eyes, whether it was from frustration or genuine sadness you didn’t know. Daryl looked up at you and and sat the knife down and brought his finger up motioning you to come towards him

“ c’mere,” You looked at him and slowly walked over to the porch sitting next to him blinking away the tears now feeling embarrassed you let your emotions get the best of you. “ why ain’t ya’ tell me ya been feelin’ like tha’ i woulda’ done som’ ‘bout it” Daryl guided your head to his shoulder, his voice a soft tune he only ever used with you. “ because i.. you were busy and I didn’t wanna bother you and I just..”

You trailed off going silent realizing you’d almost said something you’d probably regret, and Daryl just pulled you in closer wrapping his arm around you “ I’m sorry I ain’t been checkin’ on ya, I’m gon’ try an’ be around more, can’t promise nuthin’ but I’m gon’ try”. You got your friend back, and that was more than enough for you, even if your heart screamed to tell him what you really want.

It was a few weeks later, and Daryl did what he said he would, he was around a lot more and he kept you company whenever he could, and you were the happiest you could be. You were both sitting on Carol’s porch eating whatever cookies she made that day when Rick walked up to the both of you asking if you guys were up for a run with a few others from the group, you agreed and went to get ready.

As you walked inside your house you told yourself you’d tell Daryl how you felt when the two of you were back from the run, you thought of how you were going to do it as you finished putting on your boots and grabbing your bag putting a few water bottles in your bag. Daryl came and got you walking with you to the gate helping you into the car and you laughed looking at him thru the window “ thank you mister strong man” He looked at you with a straight face though you could see the tiniest smirk on his face “ stop.” He told you as he got into the car nodding to Rick as he pulled out of the gate.

Everything was going fine, they found a few cans of food and some bottles of body wash in a nearby store, you turned your back for just two seconds, you saw a toy you thought Judith would like and you smiled and reached on your tippy toes to grab it, at the same time a walker turned the corner from behind the shelf and fell onto you knocking you down to the floor, you reached for your knife but couldn’t reach it, atleast not before the walker sunk its teeth into the side of your hip causing you to let out a scream as you finally got your knife out of the holster plunging it into the back of the walkers head pushing it off of you as Daryl came running to you.

“ wha’ tha’ hell happened “ Daryl kneeled infront of you he saw the walked beside you and looked back at you all the confusion on his face gone “ you ain’t bit are ya’?” He looked up at you waiting for your answer, his face falling a bit when he saw the tears building in your eyes, his face now filled with worry as he looked down seeing your hand covering your side, he gently moved your hand lifting your shirt revealing the bite “ no, no you can’t fuckin’- this ain’t fair! You can’t leave me y/n you can’t” Daryl’s voice became wobbly and his lip quivered, something you had only ever seen a few times “ I’m sorry d, it all happened so fast I couldn’t get my knife out fast enough” You looked at him squeezing your waist tighter, your own lip started to wobble. “ you know what’s funny? I was gonna tell you that I’m inlove with you after we got back from this run, was gonna take you to my house and take you up to my room, and I would let you lay in my lap and run my fingers thru my hair and tell you how I’ve been inlove with you since you held that big crossbow at me” you laughed regretting it after as you started to cough harshly, Daryl just stared at you his eyes wide in shock “ I’ve loved ya for a while y/n a good long while too. Wasted all dis’ time when we coulda’ been ta’gether”You smiled finally letting the tears fall

“ we would’ve been a match made in hell dixon, will you be okay?” You ask him holding his face in your hand that wasn’t covered in blood “ Hell no, I don’ know how i’ma go on without’ ya. “ “ you’re strong I know you are, you’re gonna live for me and you’re gonna be okay I know you will I love you Daryl.” “ I love ya’ too girl.” “ then beat this world for me Dixon”

You smiled at him with the last bit of energy you had before your eyes shut and your movements stop completely, daryl sits there almost as still as your own lifeless body before he pulls out his knife stabbing you in the back of the head and sits with you for a few more seconds before he stands up picking up your body laying you in the back of the car as he calls the rest of the group, and they all see it on his face, so they don’t ask. They have a makeshift funeral and Daryl dressed up in his best button down he has, and when he goes to his room and it’s late at night and it’s quiet and you’re not there to fill the room, he doesn’t cry but he whispers into the air

“I’m gonna beat this goddamn world for you .”

#daryl x reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #twd daryl #daryl dixon #daryl x female reader #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixion imagine #x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl x y/n #daryl x you #the walking dead #daryl imagines #Spotify

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forever-once-gone · 1 year

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New Drabble! On The First Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me...

This is a drabble! To read the first part click here! And please I hope you all read this since you guys seem to love this pair.

Pairing: Yandere!Namjoon x Reader x Yandere!Jungkook

Genre: Yandere AU, angst

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary: Before you had gotten kidnapped by your boss and his fiancé, you had to first meet the Mr. Jeon that you heard so much about. So, how exactly did your first meeting with him go? Well, why not reminisce about the last time you were truly free? When you were not yet locked to your unfortunate future of being added into your boss’ relationship.

Content & Warnings: Gender neutral reader, yandere themes, angst, Joon and Kook are in an established relationship, CEO!Joonie, stay-at-home-boyfriend!Kook, assistant!reader, polyamory, reader’s sexuality is nondescript, talks of violence, Jungkook wants to hurt the reader a lot during this, general discomfort, making out, use of pet names, reader being none the wiser to what the two of them are talking about as they continue to type away on their keyboard lol

Author’s Note: Hi hi! It’s been a while. I’ve been swamped with school and just haven’t been able to write anything for you guys lately. But today, I logged into Tumblr and saw some very kind reblogs and asks and I just wanted to write something for you guys! I really appreciate the kind comments and It really does fuel me to write for you guys. So here is a drabble for your guys’ favourite couple! I hope you guys enjoy seeing how Jungkook and the reader’s first encounter went. It’s funny cause Jungkook is like fuming and they’re just like “this guy seems stressed :(” and then they get chosen (kinda) to be pursued by Jungkook and Namjoon lol. I apologize for not having posted part two last Christmas, but I was honestly just really stressed around that time. And then I wanted to have this small inside Easter egg (?) for something in part two but then I realized it was kinda hard to explain without having a previous explanation for it. So this drabble worked out! It was a little incentive to add that little tidbit into this and maybe you’ll have a little “oh!” moment when you read something later on when I post part two (whenever that will be lol, don’t ask me, idk. I’m aiming for this Christmas). Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. I need to stop writing this author’s note, it’s has gotten too long anyways lol. So yeah, enjoy and let me know what you think!

Jungkook was fuming as he tapped his foot impatiently on the floor of the elevator, seething for the elevator to spit him out on Namjoon’s floor. He was gonna figure out what was going on with his boyfriend one way or another.

His dearest Joonie had refused his daily cup of coffee… again. For the past few weeks, Namjoon, the love of his life, had been eating everything during breakfast that Jungkook woke up oh so graciously to make for him each morning. Joon finished everything except his fucking cup of coffee. Some days he’d be kind enough to take a sip or two before leaving the still very full mug standing in its place on the dining room table beside his empty dishes.

Seeing the mug full of the coffee that Namjoon used to always say Jungkook made better than anyone else left Jungkook feeling insecure. Insecure and just a little bit angry. Okay, maybe a bit more than a little bit, he’ll admit. Okay, fine, he was boiling with fury. He hated to imagine that Namjoon was drinking coffee made by someone else. Because he knew for a fact, if Namjoon wasn’t drinking his coffee, then he was getting it from somewhere else ‘cause Joonie was never able to get anything done without his morning coffee. And knowing Joonie’s disdain for store bought coffee, Jungkook knew it had to be someone making it for him, homemade. And if he was drinking someone else's, that must mean that he was falling out of love with him and falling in love with this awful, boyfriend-stealing, shameless person. And Jungkook was gonna stop at nothing until he found who this fucking person was and got even. He was gonna win Namjoon back one way or another.

The ding-ing of the elevator woke him from his murderous thoughts just in time to see the doors open to the empty space that lead to his boyfriend’s office. Or at least, the once-empty area, because now, unlike the last time he’d come here about a month ago, there was a table placed just before the office doors. And behind that table was a person, who upon hearing the elevators open perked up from their computer screen to smile at him. This person had a sweet smile, kind eyes, and the smoothest voice as they asked him what they could do for him.

He walked up to their table, arms crossed over his chest as he analysed the person sitting below him. The person still smiling up at him even throughout the awkward silence as Jungkook left their question unanswered. The person was dressed nicely and they had a kind aura around them. Their workspace was covered in flowers from the flower shop that Jungkook knew Namjoon frequented. Usually, his Joonie brought home flowers only for him, but here was this new person who was now swimming between countless bouquets covering every free inch of their work table.

When they asked him what he wanted for the second time, he finally graced the person with an answer. “I’m here to see Namjoon.”

The person nodded their head, before prodding for more info. “Alright, and who might you be?” the person asked, turning to scroll through their computer, searching to see if they had accidentally double-booked their boss’ time.

“I’m Jungkook,” he began, back straightening in pride when he saw the worker tense up in their seat. “Joon’s boyfriend,” he concluded, mentally doing a mic drop, hoping that those words etched themselves in the worker's skin, the one who was stealing his Namjoon from him. He hoped it hurt.

What he didn’t expect is for the worker to turn back to him after X-ing out of the calendar that they had been frantically scrolling through, before turning to him with a polite smile.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon,” the person began, “I think this is the first time we’re actually meeting in person. I’m Y/n L/n, Mr. Kim’s assistant. I just got shifted up to this floor about a month ago from my previous place a few floors down.” You reached your hand out to him for him to shake, just for him to completely ignore it, not even glancing in your hands direction.

“Yes. I’m sure he’s mentioned me before.” Jungkook was gonna make sure that you knew that Namjoon was his, no matter how nice you pretended to be.

“Yes, he has,” you replied pleasantly. “And of course, I’ve spoken with you before too, if you recall?”

When he thought about it, he had spoken with you before. The few times he’d call Namjoon’s assistant when his boyfriend wasn’t picking up. He would pace in this same area, back when it was still empty and call the number for Namjoon’s assistant to know when he’d be free again. The conversations would be semi-mannerly, at best, as he would ask where his boyfriend was before hanging up as soon as he got his answer. He never expected the assistant, that he never spoke more than a few clipped sentences to, being the one who was stealing his love away from him.

That they would have been moved up to be on the same floor as his boyfriend.

The two of them.

Alone.

And when he saw two cups of steaming coffee on your table corner, one half finished and one still untouched, he knew that you were the one making coffee for his man. He felt deep hatred rise in his chest, bubbling up his throat, ready to let out his rage on the home-breaker in front of him.

But he pushed his feelings down before giving you a pursed smile. “Right. You sound different in person. I didn’t even recognize you.” It was true, he wasn’t expecting your voice to be as sweet as it was, though he could tell it was strictly professional. Even when you were so obviously putting on a kind smile for the sake of your job, your voice was so saccharine. He could only imagine how much more saccharine—sinful—your voice must sound when you were using it for your more devious desires.

Jungkook wondered if you’d ever used that syrupy voice on his boyfriend. Walked into his man’s office with your probably sub-par coffee between your hands. You were attractive, that he will give to you, but he hoped that Namjoon wouldn't think the same way that he did. He hoped that any attempts that you’d made on him were met with bitter rejection.

But seeing you surrounded with all the flowers, making your soft features look even more attractive—though he hated to admit it—he knew that Namjoon must feel at least something for you. Why else would Namjoon have gotten you all these flowers? Flowers that Jungkook indignantly noticed were his favourites.

You were perfect and that’s what made his heart hurt more.

In another life, maybe Jungkook would have fallen for you himself, he thought sorely.

You laughed at his remark about your voice. “I guess no one really sounds the same over the phone though, right?” You asked him. “I mean, you sound pretty different yourself.”

Jungkook felt his eye twitch. Was that a dig at him? Were you implying that he was being rude? Were you saying he was anything less than the kindest, best person in the world? He restrained himself from reaching over your desk and pulling your hair out, telling you how Namjoon always told him that he was the best person in the world. He wanted to tell you that you’d never compare to him in Namjoon’s eyes.

Instead of doing any of that, he decided it was better to just ask for his boyfriend. He had a few choice words that he wanted to have with him.

“So will you please tell me if my boyfriend is available?” he asked you, steering the conversation back to the original topic of conversation.

Your eyes widened. “Oh! I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon. In my surprise of meeting you for the first time, I forgot to tell you that he’s in a meeting right now. He should be done in…” You turned to check the clock on the wall. “...in just about ten minutes.”

You turned back to the man in front of you who stood there with a small pout that you were sure he didn’t realize was there and you observed the way his eyebrows scrunched slightly together. It was funny to see how his overly expressive face had changed so many times in the little amount of time that he’d come up to you. Clearly something was bothering this poor guy, so you tried to be as nice to him as you could. Though it only seemed to make him look even worse.

“You can wait for him in the sitting area over there or you could wait for Mr. Kim in his office.” You left it up to Mr. Jeon choose what he’d rather do, only for him to scoff slightly.

“I’ll wait for him in his office,” he answered curtly. He began to walk away and you turned back to your computer only for him to step back up to you. He pointed at the mug sitting beside yours. “Is this for Joonie?”

“Uh yeah.”

“I’ll take this to him.” He gave you another half smile and one last glance at your pretty face before finally entering Mr. Kim’s and taking the suffocating aura that was surrounding him with him. You sighed in relief. You hated having to deal with this job, but the paycheque wasn’t anything to scoff at, and so you settled back into your chair and hoped Mr. Kim would get here soon.

Namjoon found Jungkook sitting in his chair when he returned from his meeting on one of the lower floors of the building. His younger boyfriend sipping on a cup of coffee that he recognized was the one that you usually set out for him. He could see Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed in disgust, as he continuously sipped loudly from his drink.

Namjoon could tell immediately that his beloved was in one of his moods. He knew that he had to get control of the situation, and quickly, especially if he didn’t want you to overhear whatever Kookie was upset about.

“Hi, love. What are you doing here?” Namjoon rounded the table to press a kiss against Jungkook’s temple as he continued to sip from his cup.

“They make some good coffee, huh? I see now why you’ve been rejecting my coffee now.” Jungkook got right to his point. His voice was cold and he refused to look at his boyfriend as he set down the now empty mug.

Namjoon sighed. “Don’t be like that. I was just being kind to them. I didn’t want to upset them by not accepting their coffee.” He pulled Jungkook up from the chair momentarily before sitting down in Jungkook’s place. He then smoothly pulled his boyfriend to sit down sideways on his lap. He rubbed his large hand up and down Jungkook’s back, trying to calm him down.

“Oh really?” Jungkook shoved Namjoon’s arm away from him. “‘Just being kind’? What about all the roses on their desk?! I saw the labels on them, they’re from Sirf Ek Phool! The same place you always get flowers for me!” Jungkook folded his arms against his chest, stopping himself from beating his fists against his boyfriend’s chest like he wanted to.

“Honey, that is just because they take such good care of me—”

Jungkook’s eyes darkened, his mouth dropping open in disbelief. “Take care of you? Excuse me? Taking better care of you than me? Your boyfriend?! In which way is this assistant taking care of my boyfriend, hmm? Do I need to beat their ass?!” He began to push himself off Namjoon’s lap, eyes locked at the door with a barbaric look in his eyes.

Namjoon swiped a hand over his face, before pulling his boyfriend back into his chest, closer than he was before, his arms locking over his waist. “Love, you know that I love you more than anything else in the world. No other person could ever take your place. They are just very kind, I promise I’m not doing anything that would harm our relationship. I promise you.”

He pressed a kiss against Jungkook’s cheek, before pressing another against his jaw. He pulled a content sigh from Jungkook, and Namjoon knew instantly that he’d deescalated the situation. At least enough for Kookie not to go and murder his assistant. At least not right now.

“Why should I trust you?” Kookie let out softly in between whimpers as Namjoon nipped at his neck.

“When have I ever lied to you?” Namjoon said against his Adam's apple.

“Many, many times,” Jungkook replied.

Namjoon let out a half laugh against Jungkook’s shoulder, letting his forehead rest against him. “I guess I should clarify. When have I ever lied to you in a way that was bad for you?”

“Never.” Jungkook pulled Namjoon’s face to face him. “You always know what’s best, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.”

“Don’t be that way. I’m not asking you to be best friends with them or anything like that. Just give them a chance to be your friend.”

Jungkook thought for a second, thinking back to you sitting at your desk and your friendly nature. You weren’t that bad, and you were rather pretty… Ugh, couldn’t Namjoon just be clear with what he meant? Did he expect… more from you than just an assistant?

Jungkook’s bottom lip was jutted out in sadness, calling out to Namjoon with its plump red appearance. Namjoon was again taken aback by his boyfriend’s beauty and just how amazing he was for him. After all, look at him. Just a second ago, Jungkook was ready to beat up his assistant and now he was clutching Namjoon’s suit jacket’s lapels with a vulnerable look on his face. He looked so worried, waiting for Namjoon’s next words and his next course of action. Fuck, Namjoon loved that man.

He pulled his boyfriend in for a kiss, letting the shorter man melt into his embrace. He could taste your signature coffee on Jungkook’s tongue which only made Namjoon push his tongue more eagerly in his mouth. The taste of your coffee and the love of his life together making his head spin in ecstasy. His brain painted a picture of what could come if he was able to make this whole thing work.

He knew what he wanted, and he knew he’d get it.

Don’t mistake him for being selfish, oh no. He wasn’t doing this just because he wanted you. It’s because he knew that in due time Jungkook will fall for you too. He knew he would. He wouldn’t have to push it, nor would he have to force it. You were perfect for the two of them, he’d figured that out in less than 8 months of you becoming his assistant after the last one quit. You were incredible and he knew that you were just Jungkook’s type. He knew Jungkook and he knew that in less than a month he’d be just as smitten with you as Namjoon was with you now. Actually, Namjoon knows that Jungkook would be even more in love with you than he was now.

And with Jungkook now in his arms, Jungkook’s hands gripping the sides of Namjoon’s neck possessively, his thumbs pushing into Namjoon’s jaw. The way that Jungkook had finished your whole cup of coffee leaving nothing for Namjoon to even get a taste of, and how Jungkook despite his furious expression had the slightest bit of a flush on his face when Namjoon had first walked in, he knew that Jungkook already was falling for you.

Namjoon pressed one final kiss to Jungkook’s lips before pulling away.

Jungkook had a blissed out expression on his face, a soft smile etched on his features as his eyes remained shut in happiness.

“Do you really hate them that much?” Namjoon asked Jungkook, watching him carefully.

Jungkook slowly opened his eyes, a blush slowly making its way up his neck. He turned to look to the side, revealing his bright red ears to Namjoon. Jungkook thought back to your sweet voice, your pretty face, your kind smile, and the coffee you had made that he couldn’t get enough of even as much as he had wanted to hate it. He turned to glance at the empty mug on the table that he wished would refill on its own.

He waited for a minute before: “No.”

“But no more ignoring my coffee, you still have to drink mine! And you have to say that mine's better than theirs” Jungkook added.

Namjoon smiled. Perfect, he knew this would be perfect. He knew just how perfectly you’d fit in with his little family. How you’d fit in Jungkook’s heart. He knew the both of you very well. He was proud.

Namjoon forced Jungkook to turn back to him before attacking him with kisses again.

You turned to see Mr. Jeon skipping out of Mr. Kim’s office. You expected him to go directly to the elevator because of his short attitude with you earlier, but he instead turned to stand in front of your table once again. Smiling down at you genuinely for the first time since he first walked into the room.

You waited for him to say something, but when he didn’t, you figured you should say something instead. “All done?” you asked.

Mr. Jeon just nodded his head, which only made the newly blossoming marks on his neck more visible to you. “I had a sip of the coffee you made Joonie, it was good.”

“Oh thank you,” you replied, a bit taken aback by his sudden change from his previous conduct from before Mr. Kim had shown up. Mr. Kim had given you a small nod in greeting before entering his office when you’d told him Mr. Jeon was waiting for him. Mr. Jeon must really love Mr. Kim for his personality to do such a 180 after seeing him for just half an hour.

Damn, is that what love does to a person?

“I would like to have a proper cup the next time I come visit Joonie.” Mr. Jeon looked down at you expectantly. He seemed to be looking for something deep within you and when you agreed to make him a cup the next time you saw him, he seemed to have found whatever he was looking for.

He smiled at you though a bit hesitant. He pulled a rose from one of the vases of your bouquets, twirling it between his fingers. He seemed to still be a bit stuck thinking of something, but then he was turning away from you. He pressed the button calling the elevator, before turning back at you. “It was nice meeting you, Y/n. I hope we’re able to get to know each other more in the future.”

“Yes, of course!”

He waved the flower at you in goodbye before stepping into the elevator, flashing you one final bunny smile.

What an odd man.

Does 3k still count as a drabble? I have no clue. Anyway, thanks for reading! 💕💕💕

#yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfic #yandere bts fanfic #yandere jungkook x reader #yandere namjoon x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #namjoon x reader #yandere jungkook #yandere namjoon #poly bts x reader #namjoon fanfic #Ev's writing #Ev's bts poly fic #fic: on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

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aro-comics · 11 months

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Aros In Relationships - Update Post

Oh god, everyone, it’s been SO long. I Just wanted to say (even if the bulk of my life updates soon here), that I’ve missed you all so so much, and I’m so glad I get to finally be able to share my work on these. It’s certainly been a long time coming.

But onto my personal note for this series - I’m really grateful that I’ve had the chance to transcribe their stories. Talking to these people, hearing their stories, their words … I can’t even describe how many times I couldn’t believe what I was hearing/reading, because everything they were saying felt so similar to something I would have said. I almost felt like they were reading out the thoughts and experiences in my own head!!

And I guess that’s why they call it a community – we do have a lot in common! But obviously, our experiences haven’t been identical on the romance front, and it was really nice to get to hear from other aromantic people about what this is like.

Image Descriptions:

Title Card: Cover Image. This Comic series is titled “Aromanticism and Romantic Relationships”. A subtitle underneath says that it is a collaborative sketch comic series. Four people are illustrated on the cover. On the far left is Arrow, a person with an undercut and wavy brown hair. Standing next to them is Lucien, who is wearing a hoodie and a collar with a pentagram charm. They have short brown hair and tan skin. Further to the right is Dot; she has pale skin with light freckles, long slightly curly brown hair in a high ponytail, and a grey hairband. On the very right is May, who has long curly brown hair, tan skin, and is wearing a maroon shirt with a striped dark jacket, and a necklace with a ring on it.

Slide 1: Celia faces the reader, hand at the back of her neck. “Hey everyone – it’s been an eon (ok, like a year or so). I’ll explain more about where I’ve been on my tumblr, but for this series I thought I’d make an intro for what it’s all about.”

Slide 2: Celia continues, “A while back, I was asked to make a comic about being in a romantic relationship as an aro person – Which, given the nature of my comics –I can’t really do, because I’ve never dated anyone.”

Slide 3: “Thankfully, some arospec people who had been in romantic relationships reached out – and were really kind in volunteering their time and personal stories to help me record their perspectives.”

Celia sits at a table, typing away at her laptop while interviewing May. Celia says: “Wait – you too?” in surprise as she realizes she relates to the story May is telling her. They reply: “Yeah! And when…” as they continue their story.

Slide 4: “And they’ve had *such* incredible patience for me these past two years I chipped away at these comics –”

A scene from the two years it took to get this comic series out the door. This was during Celia’s completion of her university thesis project. She holds a draft in her hands, reading out to the participant that she calls on her phone, “On page 9, I wasn’t sure exactly what to draw… I could show the progress of what y’all did on the date?”

They reply: “That works! The sketch is mostly accurate…”

In the background, references to upholstering a bench like padded chair, design sketches, and a poster with a map and circled possible apartment locations is depicted.

Slides 5-6: The scene switches to a group shot with Celia and the participants. She stands with one hand on her hip and the other outstretched, gesturing to them.

“So, without further ado – please welcome May, Arrow, Dot, and Lucien!”

The four are sitting at a table with nameplates set in front of them. Arrow waves a hand at the reader, while Lucien has their arms folded and resting on the table. May and Dot both smile in a friendly manner at the reader.

Celia continues, “You’ll be hearing from them over the course of this series – which I’ve adapted as long form comics like my “What is Love” comic over on my tumblr.”

Slide 7: “My process for these comics was highly collaborative. I worked together with these people as I wrote the script and drew the storyboard, because I want to be as authentic to their voices as possible. If they read a little different from my usual work – that’s because they are! And I hope you’ll enjoy getting the chance to hear from other Arospec folks' perspectives.”

Slide 7: “I’ll share each person’s comic with their cover page on Tumblr – the whole thing!” The cover page for May’s comic is shown, decorated with doodles of stars. It has the caption: “May – They/Them * Aro Demiace”

“And in parts with a collaborative IG account opened for each person’s comic.”

Also shown is a screenshot of an account named arosinrelationships_may. The description of the account reads: “May’s comics as part of @aro_comics series posted here”

Celia signs off on the note ‘See you soon!’ and a heart.

#RegularComic #ArosInRelationshipsComic #introduction #aromantic

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vvh0adie · 1 year

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strawberry kisses | myg

pairing: yoongi x reader | type: oneshot | words: 9.6k | rating: 18+ / M

Yoongi loves Summer. It’s a time of basking in the sun, feeling the beach breeze, and taking in the crisp scent of his favorite strawberry field during the annual market festival. He goes every year to pick fresh berries. And every year he watches from afar as you do the same, but he's never mustered the courage to properly talk to you. Good thing you finally have.

⇴ tracking: #fic: strawberry kisses | #strbrrykss: ask | #strbrrykss: feedback | #strbrrykss: mentioned | #strbrrykss: vibes

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The night is long and it seems as if it could go on forever. Slid down into his chair, Yoongi stares at blocks of colors stacked on top of one another, each holding a different sound from drums, to synthboards, to 808s. He’s been working on this track since before the sun came up. He continues to blink at the track, scrolling back and forth, thinking of how to fill the gaps.

He knows he didn’t sleep enough, but not finishing this track has been bothering him throughout the week. His temples are pounding and his eyes feel heavy too as he feels like someone is poking him in the back of the eye socket. It could partly be his fault as he’s sitting in his dark ass bedroom with his computer screen on full brightness and gazing upon his work without glasses. Really, he should have gone to his studio, but his body’s been content with just being here.

At the moment, Yoongi’s over it, clicking the save button and turning the computer off, watching as the little ring goes round in circles till the screen goes dark, leaving him to stare back at his own reflection. He looks a hot mess: just a sunken lump of ruffled hair and cat-like eyes as he’s tucked away into his hoodie, nose down. He feels like he needs a hot shower to ease his muscles from the absolute deadlock he’s placed his body in.

Yoongi swivels in his chair, turning towards the floor to ceiling window as he gazes up on the many skyscrapers clustered around, lit up with neon signs or office lights from remaining employees. His eyes shift, following cars till they're out of his sight, just for him to target another.

The city is beautiful at night, but he can’t help but feel out of place. He’s alone for most of the day, and barely sees his friends which you could say is partly his fault. But even with them, he feels like he’s just drifting along till the next big thing in his life happens.

Yoongi sighs, closing his eyes to listen to the bustling transportation. He feels himself about to drift off, when his phone vibrates against his hand, prompting him to pull both from his hoodie pocket.

He taps the screen, immediately turning away at the brightness. After quickly turning it down, he enters his password, redirected to his messages.

Joon: drinks with me and Hobi

Yoongi stares at the message from his friend. It’s been awhile since he’s seen them, and he knows he wants to see them but his body deems otherwise.

Suddenly, three little ellipses bounce on the screen.

Joon: really gonna leave me on read hyung?

Yoongi’s eyes flicker to the little ‘read’ label under Namjoon’s text. Then he sighs at the fact that he forgot to go in and change it.

Joon: our spot in 15

“Why? What if I don’t show up?” Yoongi says to his screen, sitting up as his body begins to pop. “Oh, shit.” He stretches his arms up, feeling his spine pop, shivers running through his entire body. He really shouldn't have sat like that. He rolls his neck, allowing for a pop to sound through the room.

After straightening up, he looks at his phone again, seeing that Namjoon hasn’t texted anymore. But that gives Hoseok all the more reason to try for himself.

Hobi: I know where you live 👁️

Yoongi chuckles at his friend’s remark. It’s always like Hoseok to try and get Yoongi out of the house. He knows for sure Hoseok will come and drag him out, but he doesn't really want his friends to see his home in complete disarray cause he knows they’ll never end up leaving till Hoseok is done tidying up like the ultimate cleaning fairy he is. Then, Namjoon will probably turn around and make him have a heart to heart as to why he’s been neglecting himself. Either way, they’re there for him, so the least he can do is show up for his friends -the only true ones he has actually.

“Come on, Yoongi. You can do it. Drinks then back to shower and sleep. Easy,” he says, slapping his cheeks.

Yoongi walks into the bar, greeted by a waitress as he bows back. He looks around, only for his name to be called. As he continues to search, there’s a couple of eyes on him and he really sticks out, deciding not to change much except combing his hair. He doesn’t even have a shirt on under his hoodie and he’s still wearing his flip flops.

“Yoongi, over here.” He turns, seeing Hoseok and Namjoon waving. He slowly walks over with his hands in his sweatpants.

Once at the table he throws them a little deuce before sitting down across from the duo.

“You look like shit.” Namjoon says, as he and Yoongi stare at each other.

“The dead has arisen. I didn’t think you were going to show up; let alone have your phone on,” Hoseok says.

“We haven't seen you in days, Hyung. Almost called for a wellness check; still think I need to though.” Namjoon quirks a brow, looking at his disheveled friend as he sips from a shot glass.

“Well, I'm alive.” Yoongi deadpans.

“Doesn't seem like it. You look paler than usual.” Hoseok chuckles.

“Maybe he’s dead and we’re just drunk enough to cross the spirit realm.” Namjoon giggles in a drunken stupor, causing the man in question to roll his eyes. A part of him wants to laugh at Joon’s stupid joke but he remains stoic, not having the energy to do so.

“Here, drink.” Hoseok pours his friends a shot. “Excuse me, miss, we need another bottle.” He holds up the empty soju at the waitress as she walks by.

“So, what you been up to?” Namjoon leans back, folding his arms.

“Producing.” Yoongi murmurs.

“That's very much apparent.” Namjoon glares at him for the obvious. He cares about Yoongi and he can clearly see the sleep deprivation hammered into his usually soft face. The dude looks like he just survived a withdrawal. It’s concerning.

“Yah! Tell us what's wrong?” Hoseok whines, after making a throaty sound from knocking back a shot.

“I don't know. I guess I’m just ready for summer vacation.”

“Why wait? You’re a freelancer; you can pick up and go anytime, Hyung.” Hoseok lays a hand on Yoongi's shoulder. Hobi’s lashes are heavy and his cheeks are slightly flushed. Yoongi gazes upon the younger’s face. Even when drunk, Hobi always has a solution.

“Where are you trying to go?” Namjoon stares at Yoongi taking a shot; just in time for the waitress to land a new bottle of soju on their table.

“The countryside.” Yoongi wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Ah, gotcha.” Joon nods slowly, staring aimlessly at the table. Summer is Yoongi’s favorite season. He’s never really divulged why but it has to have some heavy significance. But Namjoon also understands that summer just hits different and that his friend needs a change in pace. To be honest, he’s started to feel it too; how slow everything has become.

“You gonna go be a farmer?” Hoseok laughs to which Yoongi tries to roll his eyes but ends up joining him. Hoseok claps, wearing the biggest grin. “There we go!” he yells, happy to see Yoongi smile.

Yoongi truly is happy about summer coming and it only took stepping out of the house for him to see that. He can’t wait to feel the warm sun on his skin and smell the crisp air. But most of all he can’t wait to spend time with his grandma and see new yet familiar faces. He has very fond memories of his childhood, helping her harvest from the garden, playing in the sprinklers, and eating watermelon outside. Then there’s the annual festivities that he loves so much.

“What about you guys?” Yoongi may be a little out of it but he still cares to ask and not make this entirely about himself.

Namjoon sits up, placing elbows on the table as he takes a shot. “I got a collab in New York. Probably do some sightseeing; go to a museum or two.”

Yoongi looks at Hoseok who grins before taking a shot and clapping his hands. “Dubai.”

“Dubai?”

“Yep! Sand, beach, camels, hot babes on my arm while I sip martinis. And get this… casual sex; no strings attached.”

“That sounds like you.” Yoongi smirks, picking up his glass. “Cheers, then.”

“To Summer Sex.” Hobi laughs.

“I don't know about that.” Yoongi says.

“Ah, Hyung. Have some faith, huh?” Namjoon frowns. It seems someone’s been manifesting a lay recently.

“Fine. To Summer… Sex.”

“Cheers,” they chime in unison, throwing one back.

Summertime has finally come, awakening Yoongi with its warm rays of sunlight. He stretches upwards as the sun shines on his face, a smile spreading on his lips at the warmth that wraps around him. Light dances across his skin, highlighting his golden undertone. He hasn’t woken up feeling this refreshed since he was a child; even better that he gets to wake up in his old childhood bedroom too.

He swings his legs over the edge of the bed to look around. The atmosphere is so serene that Yoongi’s heart nearly skips a beat at the lack of city sounds. He can’t help but laugh at himself.

With a sigh, he rests an elbow on his thigh as he lays his cheek upon his hand. He takes a deep breath, air feeling his lungs and nose with the crispest air. He thinks he could celebrate the air quality alone.

“Min Yoongi-ah!” His grandmother knocks on the door. “Are you awake?”

“Yes, Halmeoni.”

“Good. We have a lot to do today. Get ready and meet me in the kitchen.” Yoongi smiles, reminiscing how he used to dread the sound of his grandmother’s voice early in the morning, but now he sees it as a gift because he’s still able to see her everyday.

Yoongi hops out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom, surveying the hall. He’d hate to be indecent in front of his grandma.

Since coming to stay, he’s begun taking better care of his appearance, like he did prior to his slump. His hair has grown out to his shoulders and he’s refrained from dying it, letting his natural color come in. He feels more mature this way, but he also wants to avoid a scolding from his grandmother.

When he’s finished grooming, he makes his way to the kitchen, greeting the little old lady he adores so much.

“Good morning, Halmeoni.”

“Good morning, puppy.” She smiles at him as he mimics, right down to their gummy smile. People always wonder where he gets it from. His cheeks hurt from just how much it pleases him to be called the nickname he’s had since the woman learned his mother was pregnant. He likes it much better than being called a cat -which don’t get him wrong because he very much sees the appeal.

Halmeoni sits Yoongi’s breakfast down, petting his head as she coos about how much he looks like a nice young man. He thanks her, diving in to savor the meal.

He closes his eyes, humming at the taste on his buds as he taps the plate with his fork. “Delicious.”

“Really? I wasn’t sure if I should make a big meal or not.”

“No, Halmeoni. We need to eat light. You said we have a lot to do anyway.”

“Oh, my grandson, so considerate. You keep it up, you might meet a nice girl while you’re here,” she dotes.

Yoongi dips his head, taking another bite to hide his flushed face. The town is small where everyone knows each other and he’s practically lived here before, knowing most of the women as they never seemed to move after high school.

He thinks they’re nice but as much as he loves countryside living, he loathes some of the mindset that the locals have. He’s very much the type to go out and travel when he’s not in a rut, just so he can come home and be a homebody till the mood strikes again. Truthfully, he wants someone who can complement him. He hasn’t told his grandmother yet, but he definitely has his eyes set on someone.

After breakfast, Yoongi helps his grandmother clean the kitchen before heading out into the front yard.

He takes a deep breath of the warm, crisp air and closes his eyes. This is all he’s ever wanted and he’s starting to feel like he doesn’t want to go back to the city.

“OH MY GOODNESS! MIN YOONGI?!” He opens his eyes to see you speeding by on your bike as you disappear down the road. But then a screech followed by the pitter patter of your sneakers comes back as you roll your bike to park in front of the house. “Hi, Yoongi-ssi.”

Yoongi simply throws a hand up and a quaint smile. He looks so put together in his long sleeve, blue jeans, and brown work boots. And his hair catches the light, showing off the brownish undertones of his long locks. Even his hands stand out, tan and veiny from gripping the crates. He looks like a genuine small town country boy.

“Are you here for the annual market?” You smile weakly before biting your lip. Of course he is; he comes every year. Honestly, small talk is the only thing you can get from anyone around here.

“Yes.” Yoongi pops the tailgate of the truck to pull crates off.

“I’m going to be there too, but my booth is much bigger this time.”

“That’s nice,” he says, never looking at you as he stacks the crates.

“You should stop by. I’d love for you to come try my pastries. I’ve expanded since last year.” You tilt your head and lean, trying to get a look at his face. Even from behind the gate, he doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested.

“Sure.” Welp.

You know Yoongi’s rather laid back and very shy. You chalk it up to him not really interacting with much of the town except during the market. You know he used to go to school here but it's been a while since he moved away to the big city.

“Oh, well I look forward to seeing you there. I heard the Kim brothers are even setting up a booth for the wine business they started this year.”

“Yeah, I know.” Of course he’d know; they’re his friends.

Silence stirs; just the sound of crates hitting each other, a light breeze, and chirping birds. It feels awkward and intrusive to just stand here and gawk at him.

“Well… I have to head back to my shop.” He stacks crates. “Bye.”

He bows to you before picking up the crates and heading into the house; leaving you standing there to watch. You feel your chest tighten and swallow the lump in your throat.

Yoongi walks down the corridor, listening to the sound of your bike grow further from him. Then he sets the crates near the back door to the garden, afterwards crouching down as he covers his face. “Yeah, I know?” he mumbles into his hand. ‘YEAH, I KNOW’?! What the absolute fuck kinda response is that?!

“Puppy?” Yoongi looks up at his sweet grandmother’s face.

“I’m fine, Halmeoni; I’m just a little hot.” It's true that he’s hot but that's only because he’s furious with himself and still slightly anxious from having to speak with you. He’s literally sweating like a pig from how nervous he was.

“Halmeoni will get you some water, but sweetheart you should go lay down.” Halmeoni pats him on the head before going to the kitchen.

Yoongi can only imagine that this is a taste of Hell and surely he isn’t ready for the eternal flame that he very much deserves. How could he be an absolute dickhead to you? HOW?!

The sky is blue, birds are chirping, adults are in community, and children are laughing all while the sun lays a warm blanket over the land and a cool breeze sweeps through to aid in a relaxing day.

And one Min Yoongi can’t stop smiling as the apples of his cheeks hurt. He doesn’t know why he’s smiling but it just seems like the right time. And for once, he doesn’t really mind others greeting him with a gentle smile as well.

“Puppy, help Halmeoni get the crates.” Yoongi looks over to see his grandmother trying to pick up a crate of tangerines by herself.

“I got it.” He goes to take it from her but she turns away.

“I’m not that old, you know.” Yoongi’s brows raise. “I move better than you young ‘uns.”

“Sorry, Halmeoni.” Yoongi swiftly picks up a crate of his own this time and follows in behind his grandmother as he looks around.

The whole market is covered by a giant tent that’s supposed to shield the produce and festival goers away from the sun. Yoongi likes the steady breeze flowing from under the tent, but he does hate how dark it is. He’d rather much be in the field picking fruits and vegetables.

“It looks like the Kim brothers were serious when they said they’d be selling wine.” Halmeoni sets down the crates on a clothed table, looking behind Yoongi. He does the same, seeing their empty stand, but knowing very well it is in fact their station just by the use of silk, velvet, and gold decorations everywhere and professionally made menu posters.

“Who sells wine in the summer?” Halmeoni shakes her head before heading back to the truck.

“The Kim cousins. I’ll be damned if I call them brothers.” He says under his breath. He almost goes to follow his grandmother till she sees a couple of high school volunteers show up.

This is the perfect time to dip and go see what this wine is all about. Yoongi lightly jogs to the unoccupied booth now closing in on the two enormous barrels with taps sitting on the table and the display case of what seems to be summer inspired wines. Most of them are berries, so it can’t be that bad.

He carefully picks up a bottle and checks the alcohol content. As much as the Kims get on his nerves sometimes, they’re actually funny guys and great business men, so Yoongi’s glad to support them in their endeavors.

“Hey, Kookie, can you hang this up for me, please?’ Yoongi immediately sets the bottle down, looking around in search of your melodic voice again.

“Yeah, sweetheart.” Yoongi’s broods at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. When he finally has eyes on the two of you. Jungkook is throwing a cloth over a bar, while your hand is on his stomach as you begin to laugh. Yoongi doesn't know what you see in the boy, but he’s never seen you upset over him. So that is something he can give the kid.

“Minie, be careful. Don’t get hurt.” Yoongi watches your other friend, Jimin, set down a stack of pink pastry boxes as he lets out an over dramatic grunt.

“Come rub my back,” He says slumping into a chair.

“No can do, I’m gonna go look at the funky shaped watermelons.” You grab your basket and walk off.

“She better be glad that her friendship is enough.” Jimin cranes his neck to look up at Jungkook.

“Whatchu mean? We get free snacks, too.” Jungkook looks at him with doe-eyes, causing Jimin to grin. It seems your charms can swoon over any man.

Yoongi knows it’s toxic but having Jungkook and Jimin as your friends and employees makes him feel a little bit better about his chances with you. Which may be slim to none, but at least he knows there's a chance that they also don’t like anyone who fancies you.

“If you take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Yoongi jumps at his friend Kim Taehyung whispering in his ear. He has the slyest grin on his face as he walks by, his arms folded, afterwards turning on a heel to face Yoongi.

“Taehyung.” Yoongi broods.

“I’ve admired ____ for some time now. She’s cute and passionate about her business. You think she’d accept, if I proposed, Yoongi?” Yoongi turns to Kim Seokjin who’s twirling a bottle of wine in hand as he “reads” the label. Jin doesn’t have to look to know that his friend is stunned.

“Hyung.” Yoongi hates to admit that he truly believes that Jin would do such a thing just to teach him a lesson.

“You think she’d like a boyfriend too, Seokjin?” Yoongi whips over to look at Taehyung again.

“An open relationship? I don’t know, Taehyung. Let’s ask Yoongi.” He turns to the man in question who simply rolls his eyes. “How does Mrs. and Madam Kim sound to you, Yoongi?” Seokjin stares at the man, his face cold like marble as Yoongi hears Taehyung snicker.

“You two are sick.” Yoongi shifts between the two men.

“Oh, I see. You wanna do way worse to her.” Jin grins, laying a hand to his shoulder before being shaken off.

“Being a husband and a boyfriend isn’t always about sex, Yoongi. Who’s the sick one, now?” Taehyung crosses his legs, holding the table behind him as he quirks a brow at his lovesick friend.

“Ugh. Do you two ever give good advice?” Yoongi groans, snatching a basket on the table before walking off.

“For a price!” Seokjin shouts out to which Yoongi throws a middle finger back as he walks off.

He doesn’t understand why the Kims think embarrassing him will encourage him to confess his feelings for you. In situations like these, he wishes Hoseok and Namjoon were around. But Hell, he may still end up rejected because those two know how to charm a woman without even trying. Then you’d just be Mrs. Kim-Jung.

Yoongi finally steps from under the tent, the sun instantly shining down on him. He shields his face and makes his way over to the strawberry field up ahead. He crouches down, taking a plump berry into his hand. It’s vibrantly red and firm, ready for picking. He likes that the field is the staple of the market festival every year because they just go with summer. There’s other fruit fields like the watermelon, but there’s something serene about getting low to the ground and smelling the dirt as you pluck a ripe berry from its vine. Plus there’s so many things you can use them for: salads, smoothies, cakes, lemonade.

Yoongi takes a deep breath, taking in the crisp air as he watches festival goers peruse the scene. There’s plenty of old people here, but you won't miss your occasional parent and child, teen volunteer, and young lovebirds.

Without realizing he starts to look for you out in the various fields and back at the market. He doesn’t see you wandering about; just Jimin and Jungkook using their boyish charms to sell desserts. Yoongi would buy something from you, but he thinks it would be awkward either way he goes about it: buying while you’re not there may seem like he’s avoiding you and buying in your face even though he didn’t seem to make such a big fuss might feel like he’s doing it out of pity.

He has so many thoughts swirling in his head that it takes him a moment to register the shadow that’s creeped in front of him. When he finally does he turns to see you standing over him and he’s utterly stunned.

You look ethereal with the sun shining behind you as your dewy skin shimmers. You’re practically glowing. And the scent of your perfume encapsulates him as a light breeze blows, hitting him with the fresh smell of crisp peaches. His senses shock to life and he stands up to gaze upon your even more beautiful face.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” You shield your face from the sun while touching his shoulder. He looks like he saw a ghost or any other cosmic being.

He looks at your hand on his shoulder and you swiftly take it away. “I should have asked, sorry.”

“Uh, you’re fine.” Come on, Yoongi, say more than two words.

You look in his basket and see the numerous berries he’s picked. “What are you gonna use those for?” You smile at him, finally letting your hand down as the sun's rays hit your face and cleavage. Yoongi can't help but think how’d it feel to lay upon your soft bosom and let all his worries melt away.

He forces himself to focus on your face because looking at you wholly is way too much for him to handle. You’re the personification of summer in your baby blue midi dress and beige wedges. Your hair is up in a bun, big and full, as two little twists hang by your ears. You have excitement in your eyes, and a smile so bright it compliments the glossiness of your lips. You’re ready for what Summer has to offer and he’s in love.

“It’s okay, if you haven’t yet. At least you’re not like me; I have a million recipes I can think of off the top of my head, but not nearly enough man power and time to execute them all.” You start to fan yourself, then look towards the breeze, letting it soothe your cheeks. “If you want, you can come to my shop, I can help you put ‘em to use.” You look back at him and he’s staring at you.

But then you notice he’s zoned out a bit, and you immediately worry that he may be too hot. The weather forecast didn’t predict heat-stroke levels of temperature, but everyone’s temperament is different. “Yoongi, are you okay? Do you need to sit down?” You go to grab his hand, being the caring person you are. You’re more than willing to help him back to the tent.

“Yoongi?”

“No, I’m sorry; uh- I was just thinking. There’s really a lot of things you can do with -uh- strawberries.” You freeze looking at him. He was zoned out the entire time, letting you ramble on. You feel like a fool and you can’t hide how your eyes gloss over.

You let go of his hand and push your basket up your arm. “Well, if you’re fine now, I’m gonna go. I have a lot to do back home. And I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough,” you mumble the last bit, now in your head about everything. You don’t know why you feel so self conscious around him or why you want him to like you.

You walk off, careful lifting your dress to watch your feet.

“Wait, ____.”

“It’s okay, Yoongi, you have a wonderful evening,” you say, quickly walking away. He wants to follow you. He should follow you but he does want to respect your boundaries. Maybe he should give you some space? He never meant to make you feel stupid. He just thought you looked like Summer.

After gathering all he can, Yoongi comes back to the tent, walking past the Kims’ booth. They almost get his attention till they see the glare on his face. He’s not in the mood for more of their taunting.

He immediately makes a straight shot for your booth and is met with the most unsettling glares from Jungkook.

“Is __-”

“What do you want?” Jungkook stands, his arms folded.

“I came to speak to ____.”

And as if it couldn't get any worse, his worser half, Jimin comes out. He stares at Yoongi before leaning in to whisper to his friend. The two hold each other's gaze till Jungkook’s voice interjects.

“She’s not here.”

“Then where-”

“None of your damn business.” Jimin calls out before turning to go behind the curtain, looking back to glare at him. He stands there for a bit till Yoongi sees what looks to be your hand pulling him towards you. The curtain flows for just a second longer for Yoongi to see you laying your head against Jimin’s stomach as you cry.

“You should lea-”

“Okay, you’ve made your point.” Yoongi interrupts as Jungkook quirks a brow. What? Did he truly expect for him to just back down without giving him a taste of his medicine?

Yoongi simply picks up his basket and leaves you crying in the arms of your friends. He can’t do anything with them around. They’d never let him get close enough to breathe the same air as you ever again. He’s shit out of luck at the moment and maybe forever.

As he makes it back to his grandmother’s booth, she’s busy counting money to place into her collection box. When she glances over at her grandson, she immediately knows something’s wrong.

“Min Yoongi?”

“Yes ma’am.” He doesn’t look at her, instead playing with the berries.

“Is there something going on?” She taps the money on the table before putting it in the box, but she never wavers from her grandchild.

“Yes, ma’am.” Her sweet boy dumps the berries into a styrofoam cart and places them in a cardboard box. He can’t lie to his grandmother; it literally causes him a visceral reaction.

“Then what are you going to do to fix it?” Yoongi looks at her staring back. His expression is unmoving but he can detect the admiration in her eyes. He knows this is how she helps but it's never been enough. Her generation barely wants to talk things out; they just want solutions because feelings don't solve problems.

“Pray for a miracle?” He sighs, giving her a weak smile.

“Well, you keep praying then, but it won’t make him answer on wishes alone. You have to make an effort as well, son.” At least she isn’t a fanatic that sits and waits for her blessings. And honestly, he shouldn’t either.

Yoongi walks into his bedroom and flops onto the bed, before letting out the loudest guttural sigh. How did he fumble this so hard in such little words? You practically ran from him.

He finally sits up to look outside his window. What is going to do? You probably hate his guts right now. Or you’re so distraught that you can’t even feel anger; just sorrow. If he doesn’t rectify the situation now, you may think he hates you forever. You don’t deserve to harbor that kind of pain because he can't find the balls to tell you how he truly feels about you.

“You gotta fix this, Yoongi. If it's one thing you do with your measly life, you don’t break her heart… a little too late for that, but you don’t shatter it into a million little pieces, man. I can mend this.” Yoongi puts on his shoes and heads to the kitchen to rummage through the junk drawer. When he finds the sticky notes, he leaves a message for his grandma, telling her that he’s gone to your house. He’s most certain he’ll be back before she is, but it's just in case she decides to call her game of Bridge with friends short this evening.

Yoongi leaves the house on foot. You only live a mile up the road, and he wants to give you a proper apology, so he wants as much time to really find the words to convey to you that he never intended for his behavior to come off as disdain or even hatred for you.

But that leaves the real question of whether he should confess to you or not? He imagines that this interaction could get emotionally charged, so he doesn't know if something as big as a confession could really change how heavy this already is for you.

When Yoongi finally closes in on your house, he takes a minute to just breath before he rushes up to the door and knocks. He waits for a while. Your lights are on unless you were so emotionally exhausted that you went to sleep without shutting down the house. He then presses the doorbell.

“SORRY… UH, I- I'M IN THE BACKYARD!”

Yoongi walks around the side of the house and comes up to the gate. He’s so nervous that he takes some time to breathe.

“Hello?” You see a figure standing there and get a little scared because you left it unlocked as the town is pretty safe.

“Huh, yeah. Sorry, it's Min Yoongi.” His voice wavers.

“Oh,” you murmur, sounding sad.

“Uh -aht- can I talk to you?” Yoongi can’t describe how nervous he is, but he can feel his whole body buzzing as his shaking hands hold one another.

Silence stirs. Did you up and leave? It would be valid if you did.

“__-”

“Sure… the gate is unlocked.” You don’t sound too enthusiastic.

He pushes past the wooden gate, coming in to see you sitting under a tree. There’s baskets of varying fruits surrounding you, but you’re busy cutting an apple with a pocket knife. He stands there awkwardly with his hands clasped, looking like an inquisitive little grandpa.

This is Yoongi’s first time at your house and he’s mesmerized by the way you’ve decorated the yard. There’s fairy lights strung along the tree and an awning attached to the back of the house creating a patio with a firepit. The grass is so lush that it almost looks like fur. And there’s little sprouts of flower bushes planted around. It’s truly magical, especially with the orange-pink sky up above.

Eating a slice of apple off the knife, you watch him intently as he observes your home and you can’t help but find him cute. “Come sit,” you finally say, patting beside you. He hesitates a little but eventually follows, plopping down rather close to you. You study him for a while. Admittedly, this is your first time seeing him up close like this. Other times, he’s always kept his distance or never looked at you directly. It’s a nice change and it lets you admire the little moles on his face, his eyes, and his silky black hair. But most of all his scent. He smells like fresh linens hung out near an ocean breeze. It’s calming.

“What is it that you wanted to talk about?” His eyes wander your face; your smile is warm -welcoming even- but he does notice the slight gloss and redness to your eyes. And if he wasn’t already feeling guilty enough, he now feels worse because it’s almost nightfall, meaning you’ve been in shambles the entire day. And considering how he’s treated you throughout the week, this probably isn’t the only day you’ve cried. He feels like utter shit; just thinking about you crying in bed because of him.

“I’m so sorry.” His features soften as his brows come together and his cheeks puff out. “For ignoring you and making you feel like I didn’t like you.”

“It’s okay.” You look down, slicing the fruit again, but settle on staring at it.

“But it’s not. You’re the last person I would hate. I’d have to hate myself before I could even fathom turning on you.”

Your brows raise at the high stakes he sets for himself. “I don’t want you to hate yourself, Yoongi.”

“But I do. You didn’t deserve that from me.” He sighs before letting a moment of silence stir. “Truth is, ____… you make me nervous.”

“Nervous?”

“Yes, you’re so pretty and smart that whenever I get around you, my mind goes blank and it leaves me looking like an asshole who can only respond in simple sentences. And you’re so bubbly and outgoing too that it intimidates me a little bit.” He looks down at his hands, but abruptly shoots back up at his words. He waves his hand. “But not in a bad way. Just like- I don’t know… there’s way better people you could talk to… than me.” All of this wouldn’t have happened had he just been direct with you. It’s so easy to be that way with everyone else, but with you? You just have this way of disarming him, and frankly he’s not opposed to it. You’re immensely charming, but he’s just…. “____, there’s no excuse for my behav-”

Your giggle graces his ears first before your smile does. When he looks at you, there’s just a mix of shock and confusion scribbled on his face. “I’m sorry… it just seems like I should be apologizing to you, now.”

“What?! N- no. Truthfully, I don’t have much experience with people. I lock myself in my studio and I only talk to the same two people -three, if you count my grandma. So it's been hard for me to tell you that I like you.” Silence ensues again and he looks up to see you staring back. Your eyes wander his face and you begin to notice just how attractive and enduring this man is.

“You really like me?”

Yoongi’s eyes widen at the realization of his confession. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this or ever. He wants to crawl into a hole and never come out. Why would he say all that? If you thought he was odd then, you definitely think so now. But truthfully you don’t; you never have.

Before he can even try and cover himself, you reach out and take his hand as your head tilts in admiration of him. He can’t find his voice as you’ve completely disarmed him. Like you always do.

“I more than like you,” he murmurs as you watch his round cheeks turn red and the big sigh he lets out genuinely surprises you. He’s been holding this in for some time now; letting it cause him great stress. You even feel his hand relax.

All has come to light now, and he can honestly say an immense weight has been lifted off his chest. If you reject him right now, he can honestly say he won’t have any regrets and be proud to say he even tried.

Yoongi stares back at you, waiting, but he didn’t prepare for your features to suddenly contort, tears streaming down your face as your voice cracks and wails.

Yoongi instantly feels his heart drop into his stomach, twisting into the most sickening knot. What has he done? He never thought confessing would make you cry. He expected rejection but not full blown tears. Do you think he’s pranking you by toying with your heart? Maybe it was better to just let you go on thinking he hated you?

He shifts, getting ready to speak which he’s sure no amount of words could help him recover from this, but he has to try, for you.

“I’m so happy to hear that, Yoongi.” His brows raise. “I’ve been really lonely since I moved here. I mean… I love the town but really only old people live here and… the adults our age don’t really talk to me cause they think I’m too different. I have Jungkook and Jimin but we’re just friends.” Yoongi is trying to process everything but his mind’s still lingering on your first statement. “For a while, I told myself that even being your friend would make me happy, but sometimes I catch myself thinking about you, but beyond friendship.” Yoongi isn’t sure he heard you right. “You’re charismatic and shy but I know you deeply care for people. I just couldn't for the longest time fathom why it couldn't be me. And even though I thought you harbored these feelings against me I still have to accept that maybe I’d like to have you more than a friend.” No, he heard you correctly the first time. “But I’ve been too scared to shoot for anything bigger.”

“Why?” Is all he says. It’s frankly all he can muster.

“I thought that maybe you had someone back home already. We’re older now and this is the time when people usually settle down.” You look away, your cheeks growing hot. “So I took my chance at the fair, thinking it might be my last.” Yoongi feels awful that it took heartbreak to reveal your mutual pining for one another. He truly doesn’t have any words for you. All he can think is that somehow all the celestial bodies aligned perfectly on this night to grant him his one wish and apparently yours too.

You two don't speak for a while as it’s grown dark and the only sounds present are your sniffles and chirping crickets.

He doesn't know how to make the situation better or any less awkward, so he simply gets up, grabbing your basket of strawberries and heads to the water pump to clean them. You watch through teary eyes in confusion. You just had a heart to heart and this man is washing fruit. You don't know whether to be upset or intrigued by his thought process.

When he flops back down, placing the basket between you, he picks a berry up by the tuff of its leaves and holds it out to you.

“Today’s been… eventful to say the least.” So a strawberry is going to help? Your eyes shift between his. “Eat.” Confusion stirs on your face at the sudden shift in his demeanor, but you lean in anyway, taking a bite of the fruit. It’s sweet with a sour kick at the end, making you hum. Maybe it helps a little.

Yoongi eyes the way your lips wrap around, the bright red contrasting with your pout till you pull off with a smack. Juice catches on your bottom lip as you lick it off, gazing at him with glossy eyes.

“Feel better?” You nod, watching him bite the berry. You think nothing of it, but he savors the taste, knowing your lips have blessed it first. He holds the berry in his mouth, bringing a hand to your cheek as he thumbs away your tears. Then he releases the fruit with a smack. “Then don’t cry anymore. Although you look pretty, I hate the reason behind it.” You’re utterly stunned, feeling in a state of limbo. Who is this man? And what has he done to Min Yoongi?

Yoongi finishes off the fruit, setting the leaves down near the tree roots before picking up another strawberry. He holds it out to you again as you stare deep into each other's eyes. “You done?” he asks, going to take it for himself till your hand grabs his wrist, redirecting him back to your plump lips. There's no hesitation this time as you let him feed you once more.

Yoongi watches your lips wrap around the big berry, juice squirting and spilling down the side of your mouth. The entire time, you’re engaged in a deep stare as he swallows hard, licking his lips. He quickly lays a hand lazily over his crotch, trying to hide his ever growing erection.

When you release, a moan escapes you. He’s about to burst when you give him a little smile. Then he gazes at the drop of juice on your lips. “Oops, I made a mess,” you giggle, your big eyes shining and lips pouty. You look almost innocent, and Yoongi can’t help but wonder if you mean it on purpose. You giggle once more. “It looked too good not to act on impulse.” And you mean it. It’s a perfect distraction and you honestly feel a lot better.

“Hm.” His eyes wander your face, his features going darker. “Wanna ‘nother?”

“Yep. Aah~” You open wide, exposing your palate to Yoongi. How are you this fucking cute? Everything about you is sweet, innocent, and bubbly. He wants to appreciate this side of you more but his mind keeps flickering to him fucking the back of your throat raw and abusing the roof of your mouth as he empties his ball before making you swallow his cum.

But he grants your wish instead, taking another strawberry to let you devour it whole as you giggle at the juice running down your lip. A little dark patch of dirt begins to form from the liquid dripping down.

You finally release with a hiss, taking in a cool breath as the refreshing taste lingers on your tongue and the crisp scent fills your nose. It tastes like heaven, and Yoongi is contemplating whether he died on his way to your house and is already enjoying his stay in eternal paradise.

Seeing a drop of juice rest upon your bottom lip, he takes his thumb, smearing the essence across the full expanse of your plush pout. Your eyes wander his, watching as they become slightly heavy and dark. He finally inches his thumb past your lips and you willingly take it into your mouth, sucking his thumb.

His mouth falls open, whining as you suck and hollow your cheeks before popping off to twirl your tongue. You don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you’ve officially crossed that line and you don't think you two could even stop if you wanted to. There would always be this lingering desire for one another, so you might as well see where the night takes you.

And Yoongi certainly feels the same, taking the berry and feeding you till you hit the rine. He then pulls from your grasp to glide it across your lips before leaning in to kiss you. The taste of strawberries and each other mix together, dancing along your tongues as they swirl about. You want -no, need- more of him.

You quickly crawl to straddle him, sitting on his thigh as Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. Your clothed clit drags along the rough denim of his jeans, and you cup his cheeks, deepening the kiss. He squeezes your sides and hips, occasionally straying further down before finding his way back up. Even now, he’s trying to be a gentleman.

“Squeeze my ass, Yoongi,” you moan against his lips, grabbing his wrist to place his hands on your plump ass. He obeys, but catches you off guard as he grips you so fiercely that his nails dig into your supple skin. You moan at the slight sting spreading down your thighs as his large hands rub to soothe you. “Yoongi,” you whimper as he does it again, this time giving you a shake that rubs your pussy deeper into his thigh. Yoongi groans into your mouth, feeling a wet spot seep through his jeans. Your hands travel down his stomach and into his shirt to graze his abs, afterwards snaking further to grope his massive bulge.

“Ah~ ____,” he growls, bringing a hand to the back of your neck to press you deeper into the kiss.

Your pace picks up as you rut your hips against his thigh. He quickly throws your dress up in the back and slips a hand down into of your panties. With one hand spreading a cheek, he uses his other middle finger to tease your rim.

“Oh my -fuck- baby, yes.” He dives down further to your entrance, circling around as your hands grip his belt. Your pussy lays soft kisses upon the tip of his finger, urging him to sate your clenching walls. You hastily unbuckle his jeans. Yoongi always took you for a sweet girl, but he never thought you’d be such a cock-hungry slut. He likes this side of you just as much.

Whipping out his dick, the two of you stop to look at his massive erection: long, thick, and riddled with bulging veins. You can hardly wrap your hand around him. And a lush patch of dark hair brushes your skin. His tip is a deep mauve, glistening with precum. He’s been pleasing you this whole time and in need of release. You spit, watching as a long thread glides down your wet taste and drips onto his tip, your hand moving to coat him in a slick mess.

“Aah~ Fuck,” he rasps out, his voice shaky as he watches you stroke his cock. The warmth and firm grasp of your hand feels divine, sending his head to knock back into the tree as you attack his jaw with kisses. You’re sloppy, licking from his ear to his neck, then placing chaste kisses to his cheek as you giggle.

But your amusement soon ceases, now replaced with lust as he dips two fingers into your slick pussy. They glide in and out of you with ease except for when they rub against your beveled walls from clenching so hard, causing your thighs to shake a little at the sweet sting of him hitting your g-spot.

“Fuck my pussy, Min Yoongi. Ugh~ Baby, just like that.” Your warm breath tickles his ear as you whimper in approval of his fingers curving and pumping vigorously inside of you. His moans grace your ears as well, making more slick seep from around him. You look down, licking your lips at the way his foreskin pushes all his precum to the tip, some of it white from friction.

The atmosphere fills with the sounds of both your whimpering, fucked out voices. But it doesn’t matter as all your neighbors live miles away from you. Simply just another reason for loving the countryside. And as far as they're concerned, you’re two wild animals going at it -which is true in many respects.

You continue to please each other till your vision becomes a cloudy, white haze and the pressure in your stomach finally snaps. You press your open mouth to Yoongi’s as you both cry out, writhing in pleasure together.

You swirl your tongue around his, trying your best to ride through your orgasm as your body writhes and you coat his fingers white. Then you feel Yoongi twitch, veins pumping as he coats your hand in hot cum. “Mmh~ Yoongi, good boy. Cum for me, baby,” you coo, earning a whimper from him as he cums again for you to milk his cock. “Give me your cum, Yoongi.”

“Aah~ Fuck, ____.” You feel exhilarated hearing your name moaned into your ear and his hot essence in your palm.

“Do I make you feel good, Yoongi?”

“Ugh, yes. Yes, baby. So fucking much. You don’t even…” His features contorts and his mouth gapes open, unable to make a sound.

“‘I don’t’ what? Tell me, Yoongi.”

“Kn-know how much I’ve wanted to ruin you.” You continue to coax him through his orgasm, stroking him and sucking his lips and tongue as he whines from overstimulation.

Looking down, your head tilts as you watch one big rope of cum spurt from his tip. You look absolutely intimidating as Yoongi whines and watches your tongue glide along your top lip, a smirk appearing at the way he so easily obeys you.

“You did so good, baby,” you whisper in his ear and he whimpers with a shutter. You caress a cheek and kiss the other before gazing over his flushed face. He’s going to sleep good tonight.

Once Yoongi falls silent, you stop and rest against his shoulder. Your body relaxes into his as you sit, listening to each other’s shallow breaths. It’s only till Yoongi pulls his fingers from your aching cunt that you whine and grip his arm, burying your face in his neck. He gazes upon his glistening hand, spreading his fingers to watch golden light dance along the threads of your slick. Your scent is pungent, yet intoxicating.

You unburrow to look at the sight too. You even surprise yourself with how drenched his hand is. But that doesn’t stop you from showing him that you’re an absolute freaknik when you take one of his fingers into your mouth, the decadent tang dancing along your buds.

You continue to suck, bobbing your head back and forth as your big eyes gaze into his. You stick him so far down your throat that your eyes start to water. The hum around him causes his mouth to gape open as he hisses, thinking that he’d could get it up again for you to perform the same to his cock.

When you finally pop off, you guide his middle finger into his mouth, so he can savor your taste as well. It’s maddening, the way your head tilts as you look at him with soft eyes full of endearment.

“How’s it taste?” you ask so casually that it almost seems like you're talking about actual food.

“Better than any strawberry.” He gives you a quaint smile.

You’re like the sweetest dream as you loom over him smiling. Though, even through haziness, he can see that hint of mischief as you raise your hand to lick all his cum up. You never break your gaze with him, grinning around your index finger. You're like an actress for a yogurt ad, pulling a spoon from your lips as you look at him with big innocent eyes.

“You taste good, too.” You giggle, leaning in to kiss him. This is not the first time Yoongi has tasted himself, but doing so from your tongue makes it seem like a transcendent experience.

“I like you so much,” he confesses quietly, like he’s telling you his greatest secret.

“I like you so much, too,” you whisper back, running your clean hand through his hair as you gaze into his deep brown eyes. “Come on, let's get cleaned up.” You kiss him before getting up and heading towards the patio sliding door. You hold the door open after entering your home and Yoongi follows after.

He looks around admiring how cozy the place is. You have plenty of blankets for a good cuddle and the air smells like fresh baked cookies.

“You can go first; it's the door right there.” You point. He looks back at you, giving him a shy smile before he goes inside. You think it's cute how he’s always looking for you or not wanting to leave your side.

When he comes out, he looks around for you. “Yoongi.” He turns and his eyes light up at the sight of you sitting on the couch. “Come make yourself at home. After I’m done, I have something for you.”

“For me?”

“Yep.” You giggle through a small crack in the door before closing it.

Yoongi is buzzing with excitement as to what your surprise could be. You’ve already given him your affection which is enough for him. Well, almost because he hopes to completely win over your love one day. And he’s more confident than ever that he can.

You come out, smiling at him as you come to grab his hand. Once in the kitchen you pull out his chair and gesture for him to sit.

You then rewash your hands before pulling out a plate from the overhead cabinet and a fork. You look over at Yoongi to see him posted on an arm watching your every move. “You gonna stare the whole time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yoongi, it's fine. I like when you look at me.”

“Oh… well, I can only imagine that you look even more beautiful….”

“Naked? Y'know Yoongi, you don’t have to imagine anymore.” You smirk at him as his cheeks get flushed.

You then open the fridge and bend over, exposing the back of your thighs. Yoongi wants to be able to bite them one day and get a taste of your nectar right from the source as your beautiful legs fight to stay open. But he wouldn’t mind being trapped between them forever as he holds onto your plump ass for dear life.

When you raise up, there's a glass dish in your hands. You set it down, pulling off the foil before grabbing a serving spoon to scoop a big helping of pineapple dump cake onto the plate. You then pop it in the microwave and turn facing him as you grab onto the counter behind.

You two stare at each other for a while before your feet are guiding you to him. You just can't stand being apart from him anymore as you cup his cheeks and kiss him. He moans at the intrusion of your tongue. He loves how you just take what you want from him. He’d happily grant your every fantasy; do anything you tell him to when making love. He’s absolutely smitten with you.

The alarm goes off and you release him, giggling at the way he breathes heavily. You grab the plate and trot back to him, setting the plate down and handing him the fork.

He looks at the dish and he’s glad it's a simple homemade dessert; he feels a little less guilty of ruining it unlike your decorative pastries you sell at your bakery. He does hope to taste them one day, but something tells him that this is something he’ll only be able to get at your home.

You pull a chair beside him and sit, both hands on your cheeks as you anticipate his very first bite. When the warm gooey goodness hits his buds, all he can do is hum in delight as he shakes his head.

“So good, baby.” Your heart jumps at his praise. You typically make Jungkook and Jimin try your food and they always have great things to say but it feels good to have that extra affection. You always want him singing your praise whether it's feeding him or fucking him.

“You make me feel so good, Yoongi.”

“That’s all I’ve ever wished for.” His big smile sets off a spark within you.

You’ve never felt this strongly about someone as you do now. He better get ready cause this will be the last time Min Yoongi ever slips from your grasp.

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