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#like you can just tell and its like a little puzzle figuring out what they used to like that your recognizing
mm-lurking · 2 days
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It's 11pm and I can't stop thinking of ballroom dancing with Blade. Thinking of how he's a man of few emotions. He doesn't smile much, he doesn't talk much and he looks so annoyed as he was held hostage to attend this ballroom dance but when he sees you in the distance, standing at the base of the wide staircase, you swear you see his face change. It's subtle. The change in his expression is subtle, like the faint breeze that seems to blow past your face when you walk closer to him. There are several hundred people in this large banquet hall but all you see is him. There are so many men wearing elegant suits but they all look dull compared to this handsome man who dons the most exquisite four-piece suit you have seen in your life.
It doesn't matter what he is to you. A stranger, an enemy, a friend or a lover, you're mesmerised. Perhaps it is the soft lights of the hall that cause everything to be coated in a heavenly glow or perhaps it is the enchanting live music that's playing in the background; you don't know what it is, all you know is you're spellbound by this man.
You're speechless as you watch his figure come closer to you, his aura both scaring you and captivating you. You know he is a dangerous man and the way he walks and keeps his head high is a clear indication of that but you never feared danger and you most certainly didn't fear him. If he was a glass of poison and you were a parched prisoner, you would most happily drink it down with a smile on your face. This man was the epitome of risks and you were willing to hand yourself over to him.
He stands before you with a blank face but god you can tell that underneath his icy exterior, he's pleased to see you. Amidst the hundreds of strangers he's drawn to you and you only, like a moth that finds its way to the light no matter the obstacles in the path. You mentally trace his figure and with each passing second your heart is beating louder and louder as if confirming your want for him.
The way his large calloused hand extend outward to silently invite you to a dance, the way your small fragile hand perfectly fits into his like a missing puzzle piece; perhaps that's exactly what you were to him, the missing shard of his shattered heart. A silly little smile spreads on your face and you cannot stop yourself from doing so as you look into his crimson eyes. His eyes speak a thousand words to your soul and you just know he's going to be your Achilles heel. You forget how to breathe as your lungs collapse and the oxygen leaves your body when he gently wraps an arm around your waist. The grip he has on you surprises you, it is not a request but a statement of how he wants you. You swear you feel his fingers through the layers of your dress and by god do you feel weak under his touch.
He gently sways you at the first beat of the song, intertwining his free hand into yours as his gaze remains fixated on you. The candles in the room so beautifully mirror that crimson blaze of his eyes and you find yourself lost in his eyes, completely enthralled by how wonderful they look. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and you could finally attest to this, for his eyes swirled with peril and terror. You knew what you were getting yourself into and you had no objections.
He continues to lead the dance, spinning you around as you both make your way through the ballroom in each other's arms. Neither of you says a word; the way you're holding each other with so much conviction and the silent long gazes in each other's eyes speak more than any word that comes out of your mouth will. Yet he finally says something.
"Stunning."
You tilt your head in confusion, wondering what he's talking about.
"You are stunning."
"Oh."
A blush spreads on your face and you look away from him, suddenly embarrassed by his compliment. He softly chuckles which makes you burn up even more.
"T-thank you."
You manage to say and continue to avert your gaze away from him. The ballroom music fills the silence between you both before he speaks again.
"Keep your eyes on me."
He brings your joint hand to your chin and gently lifts it to face him better. Chills run down your spine from his touch and you gulp. You feel bare under his sharp gaze as you watch his eyes trace your facial features before making eye contact. Subconsciously, you hold onto his hand letting the warmth of his skin diffuse into yours.
In the heat of the moment, you fail to realise that both of you are away from the public eyes, hidden away in the dark corners of the banquet hall where no man will see. It is only when you take notice of the quietness surrounding you does it dawn upon you. You look back at him and hurriedly speak, afraid someone might catch you both in such a position.
"We should head back."
"Not so fast."
"Blade-"
He tugs on your waist causing you to stumble forward and grip his suit coat. The proximity of you both makes your heart beat furiously and you know he can hear the pounding. The arm on your waist only tightens as he leans into your ear.
"When will I see you again?"
He whispers and that deep rumbling of his voice drives you crazy, causing your brain to short-circuit. You inhale his strong masculine scent and grip his coat harder.
"Ask for me at the gates of the estate."
"Asking for you is not enough, I desire you."
His words are shutting down every sensible nerve in you, like a poison taking over its victim, sweetly and slowly.
"You know better than anyone else I cannot hand myself over to you. Not like this."
"My mortal vessel desires you more than I need air for my lungs."
You say nothing more and inch closer to his face, planting a kiss near his lips. You know you are too deep in the water but at this point, you would rather drown in your desire than drag yourself out of his currents.
"I will see you when dusk approaches tomorrow. Ask for me."
You whisper back and smile, slowly pulling yourself away from his arms. The loss of contact already gives you severe withdrawals and you know you have signed up for trouble. He lets you go, watching you disappear from his line of sight as he clenches and unclenches his fist. Want was not a strong enough word to explain what he felt for you.
No, this was the very need of his existence. You being his, by his side was the sole reason his heart had to continue beating. His eyes never leave your body as he finally loses you from his vision and sighs. When will he see you, the one whose name he has etched into his heart, again?
On the other end of the banquet hall, you find yourself clasping the hand he held, breathing heavily as you replay everything in your head again.
If wanting him was going to destroy you, you would gladly be torn into pieces and put back together by him. If loving him was going to hurt, you were willing to let every fibre of your body beg for mercy. ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.
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rainbowssunflower · 11 months
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You ever see some art and just know, like what you know is diffrent each time but you can just tell they used to be in a certian fandom, they like a certian ship, and it shows up in writing too, I thought that a line a writer used seemed like something you only see written for one charecter from another fandom and wouldn't you know it when I go look at their other fics that's exactly what I see, and it's so interesting because things we used to love shape us and how we interact with the world and this is just such a sweet way this shows up, like 'I loved this thing so much it's literally changed the way I create and share love for other things even years later' like, man
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falinscloaca · 1 year
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cat hacker reintroduces mspec lesbian discourse into my life my brain obliterates itself in ocd-fueled recursive self-argumentation
#‘noones identity lives in a bubble and the self-id of others DOES effect broader culture and cause potential ramifications’#and#‘jfc i’m not the center of the god damn universe and REGARDLESS of whatever petty semantic preference i have towards ‘my’ definition that#doesn’t mean shit for other people + the idea that queer people can be ‘invalidated’ or ‘excluded’ is fucking STUPID that isn’t how queers#work we aren’t a fucking club we can kick people out of for not doing things ~correctly~’#can seemingly coexist in my brain but they keep biting each other#oh and in addendum to the first one ‘my lesbianism is fundamentally disinterested in men as both ID and interest to the point that it has#can feel (<- FEEL) like active misgendering to imply its definitionally compatible with other conceptions of the word.#not to mention the whole ‘i can’t even fucking figure out how my sexuality treats bigender people at all. like i’m consciously fine with#them from a like… impersonal framework but LUST-WISE it feels like dividing by zero. i don’t know. fucking logic puzzle ass shit.’#ON MY END I’M FUCKING MISGENDERING SOMEONE EITHER WAY ITS. GAH. HELP#IT MAKES ME FEEL BADLY PROGRAMMED. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE GENDER FUCKERY. INFANT BRAIN.#you can pry my ID from my cold dead hands and if you imply its bigoted or ~separatist~ in origin i’ll fucking gut you. but also teehee its#just MY id and you can ID however you want just don’t tell me how to identify sparkle sparkle~<3#but also my id IS mutually exclusive of yours definitially and WILL cause problems going forward from a clerical & organizational standpoint#homonym ass queer theory relied on by a fucking spineless little shit who refuses to take a hard stance for what she believes is right OR c#correct. the spineless coward is me. by homonym i mean the same word and spelling meaning different things to different people to the point#it might as well not be same word at all#‘i think my definition of lesbian is objectively better and wish people using other definitions would please stop but ALSO if you think less#of other people for using other definitions i will beat your skull in with a rock you bitch’ is. what i boil down to.#‘i think inclus vs exclus language is stupid and not how the lgbt+ community works but going by the logic i don’t like the existence of the#ID but also literally almost all my bestest friends in the world are inclus on the subject and despite my semantic arguments i don’t disagre#disagree with them. i still pray every night that i might wake up to a world where my actual opinions are unnecessary and my consciousness k#knows pure unchallenged peace though’#while also recognizing that dream of personal peace by way of ignorance of the identity of others is pretty fucking selfish lol#i keep writing addendums. this can go on forever.
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erwinsvow · 1 month
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GOT WHAT YOU WANTED
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summary: you're rafe's best friend—kelce and top's too, but there's always been something more between the two of you. neither of you will do anything about it. clearly, the solution is to become friends with benefits.
now spinning: too many nights by metro & future
word count: 11.5k
warning/tags: kook trio reader, using jj to make rafe jealous, mentions of drugs/partying, jealous/possessive rafe and reader, smut !, rafe deals coke. tysm to @zyafics for beta’ing & helping me so muchh & @inimamea for being so lovely and supportive. tysm to all the lovely anons who have been supporting and loving this concept from the start, i hope u all love this ♡ (but sorry in advance if u don’t)
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truth be told, you didn’t like making rafe angry. 
it wasn’t fun for you, like other things were—watching your boys play golf while you lounged in the cart with the cold drinks, picking out a pretty outfit for the day, crashing on the couch at tannyhill with your head in rafe’s lap and feet over kelce’s legs. 
those were fun things. what you were doing now, with jj, was something borne of necessity. you’re not a mean girl. you find it tough to be mean to anyone except rafe, actually, and only because he dishes it back and you know his feelings aren’t really hurt, but right now you were being mean.
to jj that is. 
you smile at the blond boy seated next to you, the golden glow of the bonfire casting its warmth onto both of you. you laugh at another joke he makes, but only half-hearted, taking another sip of the beer he’d gotten you from the keg.
jj’s funny, he’s sweet too. it’s not his fault you wish you were seated next to your best friend instead of him, drinking a strawberry seltzer from the case that rafe keeps in the back of his truck specially for you. 
“so?” jj asks, and you turn from staring at your shoes to look up at him. he’s looking at you with a smile, a very charming smile that you could have a lot of fun with, except you’re starting to feel bad about toying with him like this. 
“so?” you repeat back, softly. he leans in a little to hear you. you feel a little warm at the action, but it could just as easily be from the fire. 
jj’s nice—and you’ve always liked nice, preferred it to almost anything. every boy you had ever introduced to your trio had been nice, though rafe hadn’t ever cared. he’d hated them from the moment he’d laid eyes on them. you wonder now when you let him seep into your mind like this, with every other thought about rafe rafe rafe. somewhere in between accepting jj’s invitation to come to the bonfire with him and getting jealous over the fact that rafe was seeing some random girl.
“you didn’t tell your other boy about this, did’ya?” you look up at jj with eyebrows knitted, puzzled.
“other.. boy?”
“cameron.” now you really flush—you certainly don’t want jj to think rafe is your other anything.
“no, no. we’re not dating. we’re just friends.”
“right, okay. you tell him about tonight?”
“no. it didn’t come up.”
“ah. got it.”
“why?” you ask, and before you can look around, jj stares into the distance, gesturing with his eyes to a blurry figure.
“nothin’. he’s just been starin’ at us since we sat down, so i figured, but-” you stand up, looking into the distance where rafe was. you can feel yourself turning green with envy, red with rage, watching him stand next to the same girl he’s been with, her looking at rafe while rafe looks at you.
you sit back down on the log, wrapping a hand around jj’s arm and pulling him down to sit beside you. from this angle, rafe can’t make out anything but your backs, and maybe the lack of any real distance between you and jj.
“sorry,” you say, sweetly, almost having regained your wrath the second you saw the two of them standing together. “he’s crazy.”
“s’okay. not news to me, princess.” jj takes a pause, and you chew your cheek, trying to decide how far you were willing to take this. “you okay?”
“yes. why wouldn’t i be?”
“well, uh, it doesn’t take a genius. even though, y’know, i am one, to know somethin’s up.” “no, jj, i promise, we’re ju-” “just friends, yeah, i got it. i mean, i don’t know what type of friends exactly, but uh, i like you. and i’ll like you even if he has a problem with it. so up to you, really.” you glance up at jj, who is being nicer to you right now than you deserve. 
and you hate it, hate every second of it. you hate how rafe makes you feel, how angry and jealous you get, the fact that you even started talking to jj when in the back of your mind you knew it was because rafe would get upset over it.
but you also hate what rafe’s doing, the girl he’s with and the way he’s with her, the fact that he brought her here and still won’t stop shooting daggers into jj’s head. in short, you hate all of it. 
you lean in, resting your head against jj’s shoulder. 
“i’m sorry. i don’t know what’s going on with him. but, he’s here with a girl.”
“and you’re here with me.” jj wraps an arm around you. 
“yes, but not because-well, i don’t know.” it feels stupid coming out, but if jj thinks that, he doesn’t show any signs of it.
“s’okay. don’t always have to know.” you keep your head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth he brings. “by the way, he’s still watching.” you smile, though you can’t tell which boy elicited it. “i mean, not gonna complain if i get to be your boy toy for a little but, nice to know you care-” you giggle, pulling away to put your drink on the sandy ground.
“you’re telling me you don’t want a sugar mama?” he laughs at your words and you relish in it. 
it could be picture perfect—waves crashing in the back, the fire flickering in front of you, stars sparkling above. jj keeps his hand on your cheek and leans in for a kiss, and you find yourself leaning too, when the voice of your best friend breaks the silence. you pull away from jj to look up at rafe standing behind you.
“hey. we’re goin’. c’mon.”
“rafe-” you start, but you get interrupted. jj stands, facing rafe.
“hey buddy, we’re a little busy. but uh, i’ll make sure she gets home safe-”
“guys-”
“wasn’t fuckin’ talkin’ to you, pogue-”
“tuck her into bed, and everything. don’t worry your little head ‘bout it-”
“m’gonna knock your little head out if you don’t get the fuck away from-” having heard enough, you drag rafe away by his arm, your pretty nails digging in harshly.
“what the fuck was that, rafe?” you ask, though you feel the bitterness coursing through your veins. how’s that fair—that he parades his girlfriend around you, at the club and here at the bonfire, but you can’t so much as spend a moment alone with jj. 
whatever reservations you had just held about using jj to make rafe jealous seem to have gone far away. instead you’re just angry—he wants his own girlfriend and he wants you without a boyfriend too. you turn to look back at the boy you left behind at the fire. jj gives you a thumbs up.
“how many times do i have to fuckin’ tell you to-to stay away from that pogue-”
“he has a name,” you counter, so defensive because jj was being nice to you even when he didn’t have to be, helping you even with no gain for himself. “and you can’t order me around, okay? you brought a girl here but i can’t talk to jayj? how does that make any sense?”
“stop yellin’,” he barks, grabbing you by the arm now, and guiding you away.
“why? afraid someone might hear us? like your little girlfriend? where’d she go, by the way, i bet she’s missing you right about now-”
“shut up. shut it.” you don’t realize how far rafe’s dragged you until you shake out of his tight grip, standing next to his truck on the street.
“i’m sick of this rafe.” it comes out quieter than you intend, tears prickling up. you hate crying, especially infront of the boys but even more so infront of rafe. “i’m not stopping my life and boys that i wanna see, and relationships i want to have because you’re not okay with it. not when you have your own girlfriend. it’s not fair.” 
“i don’t. i don’t have a girlfriend.” you roll your eyes, he watches it happen with a tight fist, jaw clenching.
“yes, you do.”
“no, i don’t.”
“you don’t?” you question, unbelieving. “you just.. walk around with the same girl for weeks. take her everywhere. but she’s not your girlfriend?” you’re snarky like always—you still don’t know if he likes it or not.
“no, she’s not.” 
“bullshit. at least get your fucking story straight, rafe. that girl’s probably half in love with you-” “m’not dating her. and if it bothered you so much how come you didn’t say something, huh? you pull this shit with fuckin’ maybank instead?”
“i’m not pulling anything with jj.” you lie through your teeth, hoping rafe bites. “i-i like him.”
“no you fuckin’ don’t.”
“who are you to tell me-”
“you don’t like him. what you like is makin’ me fuckin’ angry. well, it worked. stay the fuck away from him. and get in the goddamn truck.”
you groan loudly, the noise almost a scream and filling the quiet street. but you comply, getting into the passenger seat and letting rafe drive you home—to your house, not tannyhill like every other night. when he pulls up to your house, you resist the urge to get out without saying anything at all.
“i’ll see you tomorrow, kid.” you sigh, looking back up at rafe.
“that’s it? you’ll see me tomorrow?”
“what else do you want me to say, huh?”
“are you just gonna ignore all of that? what the hell was that?”
“m’not ignoring anything-”
“so, i can’t see jj anymore. are you still seeing her? who am i allowed to date then? kelce? top? do you have a pre-approved list for me?”
“shut up.”
“rafe,” you sound serious, as serious as he’s ever heard you, shifting in your seat to look right at him. he looks back, his knuckles white on the steering wheel at the mention of you dating kelce or top or anyone. “i’m not gonna stay single forever. i know your alpha-male tendencies don’t agree with it, but girls have needs too. i want-”
“what? what do you want?”
“the possibility of getting laid without you screaming at every boy i talk to would be nice.”
“don’t talk like that.”
“rafe.” 
exasperated, you unlock the door and climb out, not turning back to say goodnight. the last twelve hours seem like a blur, between texting jj and actually seeing him and rafe’s reaction to it. you’re not sure what kind of reaction you really wanted out of him, but you’re not happy with the one you got. you don’t know what, if anything, would have pleased you. 
that night, you go to bed angry and wake up sad. jj texted you something but you can’t find the heart to look at his message yet. 
you’re sure the boys have something planned for today, like they always do, but the idea of opening the groupchat to look at what they decided on makes you feel sick. so you stay home instead, showering off yesterday’s anger and wondering why rafe thinks you don’t deserve to have a boy in your life to fool around with, to date, to do anything with. 
the answer, sharp and painful like the jagged end of a piece of glass, hovers in your mind. you try to push it away.
rafe’s wrong—like always. you really don’t like making him angry, like it even less that your routine is disrupted and that for the first time in a long time, you don’t want to see your best friends today. brushing your hair, the sound of your bedroom door opening snaps you out of your thoughts.
“c’mon kid. get dressed. top’s got tee time at two and we booked lunch before.” you turn to look at rafe but don’t budge. he takes a look at you—dressed in one of his old frat shirts and plaid shorts that barely peak out. 
you look pretty all the time but it feels the worst, the hardest to deal with, when it’s just the two of you alone like this, none of the shit that you do for other people, for outside the house—the makeup, the hair, the nice clothes. when you’re pretty like this it’s just for him, since no one else gets to see you, no one but him. you probably didn’t even notice you were wearing one of his shirts—something that leaves him feeling more pleased than he should be. but like always, he’s not gonna tell you any of that.
“are you adding deaf to stupid?” he asks, and you roll your eyes, letting out an irritated huff.
“i’m not coming. go away.” you turn around on your vanity chair to face your mirror, continuing brushing your hair. rafe walks up behind you, staring at you in the mirror.
“c’mon. lunch is at the place you like. i’ll even talk to you when kelce and top are up.”
“is that your way of apologizing?”
“it’s not an apology.”
“of course it’s not. why would you say sorry? you probably don’t think you did anything wrong.”
“i didn’t.”
“mm-hm. when does rafe cameron ever do anything wrong?” you keep brushing your hair, staring at yourself in the mirror instead of at him. “psycho.”
rafe yanks the brush from your hand, spinning your chair around to face him. he boxes you in, his hands resting on the armrests. he’s too close to you, it makes his head spin. you wish he’d stop, you know he’s not going to. you watch with bated breath, wondering what’s coming next.
“i… didn’t mean to make you upset.” you keep staring up at rafe, blinking fast. “and i didn’t see it from your side. so, m’sorry. about that part. nothin’ else.” you can’t help the slow smile that grows on your face—rafe, apologizing, and to you of all people. you thought you’d never see the day.
“thanks rafe.”
“alright. get ready. truck’s still runnin’.” he pulls himself upright, freeing you of the restraint. you can hear the bass of the music in his car, the future song audible from your open window. 
“that’s bad for the environment. and i didn’t say i forgave you.” snatching the hairbrush back, you resume your motions. you hear rafe groan and it’s hard to hold back the smile. maybe you did like making him angry.
“kid.” 
“what? i heard your apology, and i don’t accept it. hope you girls have fun at golf-” rafe leans back in, holding your jaw shut between his fingers.
“do you ever shut up?” you shake your head from your position, though you can’t really move. “what’s it gonna take, huh? you want my permission to fuck ‘round? sleep with some, some fuckin’ nobody? some pogue? tough shit. you’re not gettin’ it.” he lets you go, and you rub your jaw tenderly.
“but you get to do it?” 
“that’s different-”
“no it’s not! you’re just a dick. and sexist. who am i supposed to sleep with, then?” you shoot back.
“i don’t fuckin’ know, kid. me, i guess. at this point-”
“ha-ha funny. you’re an-” when you finally get up and look at him, he’s staring at you. “what?”
“yeah. that’s fine.” he shrugs, like he’s just decided something trivial, like what to order at lunch or which iron to use. “you can sleep with me.”
“excuse me?”
“yeah. yeah, it’s a good solution. that way you can stay the fuck away from maybank and any other asshole.”
“rafe. shut up.”
“think about it,” he says, and you fall silent to listen, though this is the worst idea  you’ve ever heard in your life. “you get what you want. i get what i want. it works out.”
“how is being your pity-fuck remotely close to what i want?”
“sheesh, kid m’tryna help you right now. offerin’ you a solution-”
“rafe?” “yeah?”
“get out.” you walk over the door, swining it open and waiting for him to step out.
“just think ‘bout it,” rafe says, standing by the door but not leaving just yet. “alright?”
“goodbye, rafe.” 
you listen to the sounds—him walking down the staircase, the front door closing, his truck taking off. after you’re sure he’s gone, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding inside.
sleeping with rafe had been nothing more than a drunken thought that occasionally slipped into your mind when he’d be nice to you after some party. curling up next to him at tannyhill every other night certainly didn’t help, but that’s all it was—a thought, not reality. 
then you wonder if it’s really such a bad idea. maybe if you just got out all of this pent up energy with rafe, and then worked on finding someone he actually approved of, it would be easier for both of you. 
key word: maybe.
the idea that he’s still seeing that girl, the one he keeps denying is his girlfriend, makes you want to puke. he’d have to stop that, that would be part of your agreement. 
maybe rafe’s right, maybe you both get what you want out of this, as messed up as it seems. it can’t be the worst idea in the world—kelce and top always joke the two of you are half a couple already.
you go to your closet to pick out an outfit for golf, hoping you weren’t about to ruin your friendship with your best friend.
.☘︎ ݁˖
rafe’s leaning against the bar at the club when you find him. you think he’s got a weird sixth sense, he always knows when you’re around, and he looks up before you’re even near him. 
“i knew you wouldn’t pass on lunch. top owes me five bucks.”
“yeah. sure.” you put a hand on the counter to steady yourself—this is harder than you thought it would be. rafe takes a sip of his drink. you want to chastise him, tell him it’s only twelve-thirty and too early for drinking, but nothing comes out. your mouth feels dry and you almost want to chug the rest of his scotch. surprisingly, you refrain.
“what?” rafe asks, and you glance up at him, eyes locked.
“i thought about what you said this morning. what you offered.”
“and?” the bastard looks so smug. you should the slap the smirk off his face but you know what he’s thinking—proud of coming up with the idea himself, thinking he’s doing such a service.
“and.. better the devil you know and all that.” you wait for the other shoe to drop for a moment, for rafe to admit it was all a big prank and you fell for it, and now the boys owe him money or something.
“good. i agree. so should we get outta here, or what?”
“right now?” you question, eyes widening. “what about tee time?”
“you’re the only who’s so horny you’re on the verge of jumping pogues. m’just tryna help you-”
“shut up!”your face heats, looking around to make sure no one heard him. “by the way, between the two of us you’re the only one jumping pogues.”
“yeah, yeah. so not now, then?”
“a gentlemen as always, rafe. no, really, thank you, for showing me chivalry’s not dead.” you roll your eyes again, staring ahead at the bottles behind the bar. you don’t want to turn and look at rafe again, but you do.
“at this rate m’gonna have to show you what friends with benefits means too.”
“shut up.” it comes out like a hiss this time, narrowed eyes focusing in on your best friend and apparently, new fuck buddy.
“yeah, yeah. they’re at the table near the window.” 
“thanks.” you walk in that direction, catching a glimpse of top and kelce, but your feet pause for a moment. you stay still, but glance back at rafe.
he’s not leaning against the bar anymore—he’s facing you, staring at you. blue eyes rake over your skin top to bottom, focusing on the pretty sandals and polished white toes, smooth lotioned skin, your short white skirt and tight golf shirt, with one too many buttons popped. 
when you’re talking without ever shutting up, it’s hard for him to focus on anything but your glossy lips or long eyelashes fluttering when you roll your eyes. but now he’s taking it in—how easily you agreed to this little idea, how you talk a big game but you don’t seem as hesitant or upset as you were this morning. 
you turn back and keep walking towards the table—rafe can tell you’re flushed. he’s fine with it, prefers it this way. anything’s better than you going on dates with strangers, showing them looks and emotions and other things that belong to him.
if you’re horny, all you had to do was tell him. downing the rest of his drink, he goes back to the table and like always, sits next to you. 
kelce and top talk about the same old shit, until they focus their attention on you. you’re being quiet, not nearly as talkative or snippy as usual, and you haven’t said a word to rafe the whole time.
“and where’d you two go off to last night?” kelce asks, pointedly looking at rafe while he asks you the question.
“you guys know you left us stranded, right? we all came together. i mean i’m not saying self-absorbed but-” topper adds, but you cut him off.
“you’re really not one to talk about self-absorbed, are you top?” you shoot back, and kelce chokes on his water. 
“easy,” rafe says, and normally you’d fire away something at him too, but this time you don’t. “we had somethin’ to take care of. but you got home didn’t you?”
“yes, but-” topper says, but rafe cuts him off again. you hold back a laugh.
“then shut up ‘bout it.”
“kelce’s mom had to pick us up. it was humiliating.” you snort into your lemonade, all four of you bursting into laughter. you turn to ask kelce a follow up question, and rafe’s staring at you while you laugh. something low in your stomach twists, like a butterfly trying to fly out and away.
when kelce and rafe start talking about the course today, topper leans in to say something to you.
“you’re getting mean. y’know that means you’re spending too much time with him.” you transfer your gaze from top to rafe, staring at the boy next to you. 
the idea of what you would normally say floats through your head—something funny and earnest but still making top feel better, not saying sorry but making him laugh instead. nothing comes to mind.
“yeah. i guess i am.”
you sit through golf, reading your book in the cart while the boys play nine holes. your phone rings with a call from your parents about an hour in, and when you step away to take it, rafe follows you. the boys protest from the distance—it must have been his turn.
“you goin’ home?” rafe questions, and you jolt at the sound, not realizing he was right behind you.
“god. you scared me.” he doesn’t say anything, just keeps staring down at you. “yes, uh, mom wants me home for something.”
“you need a ride?”
“no, i drove here, remember?” 
“oh. yeah. am i gonna see you tonight?” the words make you flush—stupidly, no matter how hard you try to fight it, knowing that they shouldn’t. the two of you are going to be terrible at this. “kid?”
“careful, rafe. you’re starting to sound like a boyfriend.” “yeah. and we wouldn’t want that, now would we?” 
sucking in a breath, tearing your gaze away with pretty blue eyes that are looking at you like maybe that wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world, you’re at a loss for words again. before all of this drama, you could count the amount of times you had been rendered speechless by rafe with no hands—since it had never happened. still with nothing to say, you turn around and start to walk away. foot steps follow you.
“hey, hey. m’joking, it’s just.. a joke. how about i come over later? and we’ll talk about it.” you spin on your heels to face him.
“talk about it? talk about what?”
“our.. arrangement. y’know talk about it..” he tilts his head stupidly and you can’t decide if you want to slap him or kiss him. “..fuck about it.”
“okay! that’s it. bye, rafe.” storming away, you almost wish you hadn’t heard what he called out after you.
“bye, kid. i’ll see you later.”
.☘︎ ݁˖
at ten pm that night, freshly showered and somehow in another one of rafe’s shirts, you were back to where you were this morning—brushing your hair. rafe doesn’t knock on your door, just barges in.
“oh my god-”
“hello to you too.” he steps in, shutting the door behind him and taking a seat on your bed. you spin on your chair to face him.
“how the hell do you keep getting in here?”
“what? your mom let me in.”
“you didn’t even text-”
“i told you at the club. you have selective memory, kid.” he looks you over again. “nice shirt.”
“oh shut up.” you turn away for a moment, setting the hairbrush down, biting your cheek. “so?”
“so?” he repeats. he’s smiling, you can just tell.
“aren’t we gonna talk about our arrangement? that’s what you told me at the club-” you finish in a mocking voice.
“what else is there to talk about? you wanna get laid, i don’t wanna see you with random guys.”
“i still don’t understand what’s wrong with the guys that i-” rafe cuts you off, and he sounds angry.
“of course you don’t understand. you don’t have’t think about this shit, because i think about it for you. what’d you gonna do when some guy starts sleepin’ with you ‘cause me and top pissed him off once? or one of those pogues, huh? to get back at us? take some video of you and send it to everyone? brag and show it off to everyone?”
“oh.”
“exactly. so m’lookin’ out for you. this is better, trust me.” the thing rafe’s saying are making sense. you were on board anyways, but you feel better that there’s a real reason behind it.
“but what about that girl-” you ask, though you don’t know what kind of answer you’re expecting. rafe sighs.
“what about that girl?”
“are-are you gonna sleep with other people too?”
“no. m’too busy anyways. works out for both of us.”
“oh. okay. promise?”
“when have i ever lied to you?” you sigh, about to protest, when he finishes his sentence. “promise.” you feel strangely reassured, like this is a good idea.
“okay. thanks.” you dodge his gaze, playing with your manicured nails, pink this time.
“alright. get on the bed.”
“rafe-”
“what? i just said-”
“you’re not even gonna, like, take me out for dinner first?”
“who the hell d’you think paid for your lunch?”
“i don’t know.. kelce? he got lunch last week. should i go sleep with him next?”
“ha-ha. get on the bed.”
“ugh. you’re so crass. i don’t even know how you get any girls-”
“yeah, yeah. are you gonna shut up now or what?”
you can’t think of anything to say, so you finally follow his instructions, crawling into your bed and sitting up against your pillows to look at rafe. 
you’ve see him naked before. he’s seen you naked before. with all the time you spent together on the druthers or at the beach, you should be used to seeing him like this. he yanks off his shirt, pulling it off with a fist in the back over his head. 
the first sign that this idea wasn’t going to go as planned should have been now—feeling your breath catch in your throat at the sight in front of you. your best friend shirtless, getting closer to your bed. your eyes rake over tan, muscled skin and the silver chain glimmering around his neck. you don’t realize you moved, body sliding down and back flat against your mattress while rafe starts to lean across the bed, his hand planted next to your head.
rafe’s hovering over you. your breathing shakes for a moment, wondering if it would be this easy for him to do this with any other girl. you dismiss the thought when rafe leans in to kiss you, but it almost seems too wrong to let it happen.
“wait-” you move your head a little so your lips are away from rafe’s. “are you sure? you don’t think it’s gonna be weird?”
“stop bugging out, kid.” he says it low and quiet, and your entire body quivers from the sound.
“answer the question, asshole.” rafe laughs, his hot breath fanning across your cheek. you can’t help it, you laugh too, turning to look at him. you think he’ll be grinning like something’s funny, but your smile dies the second you lock eyes.
he’s not smiling, he looks as serious as you’ve ever seen him. he licks his lips, moving his eyes over your body, his shirt and your bare legs.
“you wearin’ anything under this?” 
he moves one of his hands from your knee to your thigh, stroking the soft skin. you curl your leg automatically, head lifting to watch his hands and your entire body trembling under his touch—it’s hot and electric, making your heart beat faster and the hairs on your arm stand up. he looks up from your legs to your face, watches you shake your head to answer no. 
“good girl.” 
your head falls back onto the pillow when the words leave his mouth. a chuckle leaves his mouth, but still he’s not smiling, it’s more just a noise of pleasure than anything else. rafe sits up between your legs, hands grabbing onto both of your legs and stroking again. he makes his way all the way to your hips, fingers dancing over the waistband of your panties. 
you think he’ll stop, maybe at least answer your earlier question, though you can’t remember what you had even asked him. he doesn’t, fingers swiftly hooking around the fabric and pulling them down your legs. you suck in another breath, angling your foot so they fall onto the bed while you keep your eyes locked on him.
“y’ready?” he asks, and you nod, though you’re not sure what you’re agreeing to. his hands go back to your thighs, pushing his t-shirt up to expose more skin. you tense up, but he keeps a palm on your knee. “relax.”
before you can anticipate anything else, he strokes your pussy, which is shamefully wet already, with two fingers, prodding the sensitive skin and gathering wetness. he does that laugh again, like he can’t believe what he’s looking at, and you try to shut your trembling thighs in embarassment, but rafe holds them open.
“rafe-” but before you can finish your sentence, two thick fingers plunge inside you, “oh my god—!” 
“hah. good.” when he pushes his fingers out, just to slam them back in, your eyes roll all the way back, another loud moan emitting from your mouth, sounds he’s thought about a hundred times before but still can’t compare to the real thing. but of course, you don’t need to know any of that. “don’t get too loud. y’folks are downstairs, remember?”
you don’t seem to remember. when he picks up the pace, really just wanting to test you and see how much you could take, you start moaning even louder, sweet breathy sounds filling the room. they’re just for him, and normally he’d want you screaming, but he can’t arouse too much suspicious, or your parents won’t ever let him back in the house. his other hand, the one holding your legs open, moves to your mouth, clamping his palm over your lips to keep your noises quiet.
you must like it, you clench around his fingers and your walls flutter when he locks eyes with you, almost hunched over you to keep you quiet while still fucking his fingers—now three, though he didn’t realize when he’d added another—into you. 
rafe’s hard, and he can’t remember the last time he was patient enough to wait to get his dick wet, but he likes you like this, not just shutting up for once, but eyes shut and face twisted with pleasure, whimpering into his hand, legs shaking in his grip while you’re wet around his fingers. 
“rafe-” you mumble, the sound all muffled. “m’gonna, ohh-” he picks up the pace, shushing you while battering into your pussy, listening to the gasps and whimpers through his palm while you cum all over his hand. 
limbs like jelly and throat dry, you lay there, catching your breath. your skin’s hot and flushed, and you stare at rafe while he stares at you.
“what?” you question, and it comes out quiet, soft, like you’ve done something you shouldn’t have. he’s thinking a couple of things, some of which have no business being in his head at all. do you always get this wet? who else has seen you like this? who’s gonna get to hear you moan the way you just did for him some day?
“nothin’.” 
“oh. okay.” you sit up against your headboard, pulling your—his—shirt down to cover up a little. “well, thank you.”
“yeah. no problem.” for a second he hestiates—briefly concerned you want him to leave now. “well? come on.” you’re trying to sound like you always do, a little irritated at him, a little snarky. he can see through it this time.
“what?” 
“get the condom. you’re the one who said we’re doing it today.” rafe watches for a second, wondering if he should laugh or yell at you, when you pull off his shirt. he stares at you, not moving, wondering why he thought this would be a good idea. 
he’s seen you naked before, changing in the same room or when you two lost all boundaries and started walking into bathrooms while the other’s showering, but this seems different. propped against your headboard naked, with your cum on his fingers, asking him to get a condom. now that he’s seen you like this, he has a new life mission of making sure no one else ever gets to. 
“god, you’re such a boy.”
“shut up.” 
“you shut up. you talked such a big game and now you’re just staring at my boobs-” he moves quickly, fingers on your jaw, actually shutting you up.
“lie down.” biting your lip, you comply, sliding down so rafe was on top of you. “spread your legs.” you move to do so, but rafe uses his hands on your thighs to pull them apart before you can. you can’t look at his face, it almost feels too weird, so you decide to stare at his dick instead, watching him roll the condom on with a puzzled face.
“what?” he’s been looking at your face the whole time.
“nothing. if i had known you were this big i would’ve asked a while ago-” rafe starts laughing, a real one this time, and you burst into giggles too.
“stop-” and he gets closer to you, lining himself up with your wet cunt, “-making me laugh. shut up.”
“you’ve said shut up like thirty times but you won’t stop talking eithe-oh!” he pushes in all at once, and all the breath leaves your lungs. you gasp instead, toes curling, feeling incredibly full, the disbelief that you’re full of rafe quickly fading away. 
you should have known he’d be good at this, good enough to actually get you to shut up. he starts a slow pace, thrusting in and out and you look up to see your best friend’s face contorted with pleasure, heavy breaths in your ears and the scent of his cologne overwhelming everything. his chain dangles on your neck, tickling you, and you try to permanently engrain the feeling into your memory.
you attempt to stay quiet, though the slam of the headboard against the wall is a dead giveaway. rafe pushes all the way out and then all the way back in with another slam, and there’s nothing you can do but take it, clamping your hand over your mouth now.
he manhandles your legs into place, pressing them to your chest while he continues the exhausting pace. you can’t discern anything but rafe’s quiet groans and heavy breaths. you’ve just cum but it doesn’t take long for that hot feeling to wind up again in your stomach, toes curling and eyes getting watery. your moans are still muffled, but the way rafe’s looking at you is only making them get louder. 
your bottom lip must be bleeding from the way your teeth have been abusing it. rafe moves your hand out of the way and leans in for a hot kiss, his tongue in your mouth and swallowing all of your noises.
with a final oh god, oh god, oh god, moaned into rafe’s mouth, you cum hard around his dick, eyes pressing shut and stray tears falling down, rafe’s lips not leaving yours. 
you don’t know why—but you wrap your arms around his neck, keeping the kiss going. rafe pulls away for a moment to breathe and you open your eyes, staring up at him through wet lashes, licking your swollen lips, while he looks back down at you.
he leans in for a final kiss, groaning into your mouth while he spills into the condom, still thrusting in and out of your sore pussy. 
rafe rolls off of you, resting on your sheets beside you. you try to catch your breath.
“you didn’t last very long.” 
“and how long did it take ya to cum all over my fingers?”
“oh, whatever. where’s my shirt?”
“it’s my shirt,” rafe says back, finding the discarded clothing on the ground and tossing it on your chest. you sit up, sliding his shirt back on. rafe’s standing, pulling on his shorts.
“are you leaving?” you ask, and you regret it the second it comes out, quiet and soft like you want him to stay. 
you do want him to stay, but you don’t want him to know that you do. it all feels very complicated and your thighs are aching, your throat dry. 
“no.” he sits back down next to you, swinging an arm over your shoulder like he always does. you lean into his chest. 
“you kissed me,” you say quietly. you’re glad your face is pressed into his side, you don’t think you could handle looking at his face right now. “and you were quiet. i didn’t expect that.”
“your parents are downstairs, remember?”
“oh. i forgot.” you realize after that you don’t want him to know he fucked you so hard you forgot where you were and who was home.
“is kissing off limits?” rafe asks, and you almost choke processing the sentence. things you never thought rafe would say to you.”
“no.. it was nice.” you pause, listening to the silence of the room and the thud of rafe’s chest in your ear. you’re no expert—though you fear you’re about to become one—but it seems faster than normal. “you want ice cream? or cookies? i made some yesterday.”
“no, kid. it’s fine.” you chew your cheek nervously. you want rafe to want to stay, not just because you asked.
“you can go.. if you need to.” you look up at him and then look back down when he meets your eyes. 
“why? got nowhere else to be.”
“oh. okay.”
“turn the tv on. we’ll watch your stupid movie”
“really?” your face lights up, grabbing the remote on your nightstand. you open up the blanket at the foot of the bed, covering both of you while you try to find you’ve got mail. you go back to your position and lean against rafe’s warm body, and he presses a kiss to your forehead. it’s not unusual, he’s done it before, but you don’t miss the fact that he’s decided to do it now. you try to push away the warm feeling blooming in your chest.
“don’t ever make a joke about sleeping with kelce or top again.”
.☘︎ ݁˖
your tired muscles wake up to the sun pouring into your bedroom. the light shines on rafe’s still-asleep figure, but you knew it wouldn’t wake him up, nothing ever does. you don’t remember falling asleep, barely remember anything after rafe showing up.
and the part where you slept with your best friend.
a guilt-trip dangles on the edge, about to take over, when you push it away and focus on the text messages on your phone instead.
top: rafe can’t believe u bailed on cod. u better be dead in a ditch somewhere
kelce: maybe princess finally killed him
top: stop hanging out without us
kelce: top lets just pull up next time
you laugh, and rafe stirs at the sound. you give his arm a shove.
“you ditched playing video games for me? i’m so flattered, rafey.” 
“shut up.” he grumbles. “go back to bed. s’too early for this shit.”
“it’s nine in the morning. and i have pilates in an hour.”
rafe turns over, and you can’t deny it’s nice to have him in your bed for once—it seems like you’re always sleeping at tannyhill.
“didn’t get enough exercise last night? you need more?”
you fake a yawn, covering your mouth.
“exercise? what exercise? i don’t remember that. you mean the boring sex?”
rafe sits up, facing you. you choke back a laugh.
“you wanna say that again?”
“uhh-”
“in fact, why don’t you try and get up? ten bucks says you can’t even walk to the door.”
“i can’t believe the two of us even fit on this bed with your gigantic ego-”
“don’t see you walking. m’waiting.” you toss one of your throw pillows at him.
“get out!”
“alright. i’ll say good morning to your parents on my way-”
“okay! wait, stay.”
“s’what i thought.”
“some way to say good morning,” you mumble, scrolling through your other messages—a text from your other friends about a party tomorrow and a reminder for your pilates class.
“you woke me up.” 
“oh whatever. i was just surprised you skipped a video game for this. but i guess most boys would.”
“there’s not much i wouldn’t skip for you.” you smile at rafe, misunderstanding him.
“that’s so nice. are you saying i’m a great lay?” he rolls his eyes.
“i’m trying to- shut up. what’d they say?” he picks up his phone. 
about twenty minutes later, after checking the hallway (and that too on wobbly legs, just like the smug idiot had predicted) rafe leaves. like always, he says he’ll see you later.
you fall on your bed and dwell on the fact that rafe kissed you last night. it’s hard to focus on anything else, and with every passing second, you think this whole thing was a worse and worse idea.
but he doesn’t seem to think that way. he seemed fine. he’s better at the no-strings-attached thing than you, and you don’t think he would have suggested it if he didn’t think you could handle it. 
with that thought lingering, you get dressed for pilates and hope it’s easier to walk before you see the boys again. you find out that it’s really not. 
after your class, you check your phone, finding messages from top and kelce. game night and pizza at kelce’s house. you’re invited, of course, but you shoot them a message saying you’re staying home with your parents instead. 
the second you press send, rafe’s contact photo lights up your screen.
“rafe?” you answer it without even waiting.
“what, not comin’ tonight? you always come.”
“oh, um-” you pace around your room, trying to think of a lie on your feet. “mom and dad wanted to stay in. you know. game night.” the words feel stupid, though you hope he’ll believe it.
“okay. you gonna swing ‘round after?”
“no, probably not. um, i’ll see you tomorrow?”
“yeah, tomorrow. have fun, kid.”
“you too. tell them i say hi.”
the rest of your day flies by and it’s not long before you’re curling up in bed with a tub of ice cream. your parents went out to dinner with some friends, while you contemplated what the hell you were doing with your own friends.
you four always had a standing date on saturday mornings in the summer—snacks and a spin on the boat. if you don’t go, it’s going to be incredibly obvious something was going on with you. 
you call topper while you pack your boat bag—grabbing the necessities the boys always completely forget about; spray sunscreen, an extra baseball cap, a book for you when you inevitably get bored of listening to them talk.
“what’s up?” top says, and you’ve made your way into the kitchen, pulling out fruit to wash and cut.
“what time are we going on the boat? and i’m bringing strawberries and mangoes, is that fine?” topper is the pickiest when it comes to the fruit—kelce and rafe will eat whatever you bring.
“uh, i think noon. call rafe, we’re taking the druthers today.” crap. that’s what you were trying to avoid. it feels crazy the second you think it—trying to avoid rafe. you need to get it together. acting like some love sick girl over your best friend feels like the stupidest thing you’ve ever tried to do. he must bring it out in you. “do you have any of those oranges? the little ones?”
“i’ll bring ‘em. listen, i need to get ready, do you know the time? i’ll just meet you there.” your self-realization is going to have to wait for another day.
“noon, yeah. i’ll text it.”
“thanks top.” 
you start an internal monologue on repeat—stop being weird about it. he’s still your best friend. be normal. he is not your boyfriend. you repeat it, but still pick out the prettiest bikini you own, yellow gingham and held together entirely by straps you’ve tied into pretty bows. you throw on one of the boys’ button-ups that’s ended up in your closet somehow on top. 
walking onto the pier, you hesitate in front of the druthers. you don’t hear any of the boys, and though nothing’s stopped you from getting on and making yourself comfortable, you wait for a second.
it’s like he knows. rafe steps out from the bridge, and takes one look at you, eyes flicking up and down your body and taking in the yellow fabric that’s barely covering anything, before offering you his hand to get on. 
“hey.”
“hey.” you look around. “nice weather.”
“yeah.”
“kelce and top running late? he told me noon.”
“those two are always late.” he’s staring at you, and this time it becomes clear, that he’s looking at you the way a boy who has been inside of you looks at you.
“i packed mangoes. you liked them last time.”
“yeah, i did.”
“i just hope they’re sweet.”
“yeah. they probably are. sweet.” rafe keeps looking, and you turn around to set your bag down. “listen, kid-”
“it’s a great day. good weather.” 
“you already said that.”
“oh.”
“would you stop and look at me?”
“no, um,” you start, emptying out your bag onto one of the seats. “sorry, i’m busy.” you feel rafe grab your shoulder, turning you around. he’s not as rough as he could be, like he usually is.
“you okay?” he asks, and you feel stupid.
“i’m fine.. are you okay?”
“yeah. but you’re actin’ weird.”
“well yeah, rafe. we slept together. it’s weird.”
“you were on board-”
“i was. i am,” you clarify. surprising even to yourself, you think you still are. “doesn’t make it not weird. imagine if you and kelce slept together. wouldn’t it be weird?” rafe’s face twists into a mixture of disgust and concern. “okay. bad example. sorry.”
“yeah. m’just saying, i wanna make sure you’re okay. but i don’t regret it if that’s what you’re afraid of. and nothin’ has to change.” hearing him say it makes you feel better. you repeat the words, tasting the feel of it on your tongue.
“right. nothing’s changed. you’re still rafe. i’m still me.”
“it doesn’t have to happen again, if you don’t want it to.” you stare up at him with crossed arms.
“why are you being so nice about it?”
“jeez, kid. what, you-you want me to be a dick ‘bout it? sounds like you’d prefer that.”
“no, just. it’s weird when you’re nice.” you look at him for a second before the two of you start laughing. “y’know what i mean.”
“alright. i’ll stop being nice.”
“thank you. now where are these two? i wanna read my book.”
“probably still sleepin’. played until-” rafe keeps talking, but you realize you’re only half paying attention. he takes his shirt off, and at the very sight of his chain sparkling in the sun, you realize you’re no better than the girls who chase after him. “what?”
“hm?” a little dazed, you look up from his abs to his face.
“you’re starin’.”
“oh. you think we have enough time before they show up?”
“time for what?” rafe stares at you while you stare at him. “oh.”
turns out he thought you did have enough time. you end up with your cheek pressed against the tan sofa in the cabin, body folded with your head down and ass up. rafe’s slamming into you from behind, and though it’s only the second time with him, you think there’s no pleasure in the world comparable.
from this angle he feels even bigger than yesterday. you feel tighter, or maybe it’s just the way your cunt is sucking him in, he thinks, thrusting in and out with his hands grabbing the fat of your ass, watching it bounce with every one of his motions. he has an urge to untie your bikini top, just so he can look at the expanse of the bare skin of your back, but he knows you’ll fuss if he does. he settles for shoving the thin yellow fabric of your bottoms to the side, yanking it so hard that you’re scared it’ll rip.
“be—oh—careful,” you get out in between moans, louder than the first time and louder still than he thought you’d be. he likes it more than he should. you already came once, but he wants to see if he can get another out of you.
“shut up,” rafe groans, eyes fixated on your perky ass, the one he’s stared at in hundreds of short dresses and tiny skirts, bikinis that he shouldn’t let you wear and panties he gets an eyeful of when you’re asleep in his bed. “jus’ take it-”
you keep moaning against the couch, head shoved in to muffle what you can, but it’s when you look back at him, turning your head to watch rafe slam into you with wet, lustful eyes, tired from how hard he had just made you cum, that he really can’t take it, finishing hard and fast while you let out pretty mewls that are still ringing in his ear. 
he pulls out, adjusting your bikini bottoms to cover you up, though there’s visible wetness staining them. your inner thighs are shiny where your juices glisten. rafe has to tear his eyes away, you keep your legs clamped shut.
“you okay?” he asks, trying to catch his breath. you don’t speak, just nod. “c’mon.” rafe offers you a hand, again, and you accept, following him outside and into the sun, even though you’re so tired you could fall asleep where you were.
“thanks.” you say, wiping your neck of the sweat that has collected there. he watches you do it. “sorry, i don’t have a tip or anything. how about some fruit instead? call it even?” “shut up, kid. m’not a hooker, you fuckin’ weirdo.”
“no, of course not,” you gasp, like you’d never suggest such a thing. “the correct term is escort, rafe. it’s all very american gigolo.”
“you watch too many movies.” but you still hear him laugh when the two of you step onto the deck. 
“what’s so funny?” you hear top’s voice, freezing up. you catch rafe’s eye, before looking away
“nothin’, man-” rafe starts, but you start talking over him.
“just debatin’ how long it would take you idiots to get ready. got enough gel there, top?” rafe and kelce laugh while topper narrows his eyes at you.
your days are on the boat are always fun—the boys steer while you enjoy the breeze and the sun. you pass the fruit around and read your book—another romance beach read, of course. this one’s about two best friends falling in love. you can’t find the will to keep reading.
you tune in a conversation about a party tonight.
“are we going?” you ask, looking expectantly at the three boys in front of you.
“yeah. why wouldn’t we?” kelce says. you shift your gaze to rafe, who gestures to your thighs with his eyes. you clamp your legs shut, flushing.
“fun. what time?”
.☘︎ ݁˖
finding a little hard to walk straight after your little tryst on the boat, you switch your heeled sandals for a pair of sneakers for tonight. you smooth out your pretty blue dress in the back of top’s jeep. him and kelce are in the front, you and rafe in the back, pulling up to whichever family that was off-island’s mansion for the evening. the music was blaring, audible from even down the street, with two boys carring a keg into the house while top parked.
“are they celebrating something?” you question, staring at the crowds of people inside.
“yeah. the fact that it’s saturday night,” kelce answers, and you shove the back of his head from the backseat. 
you hear rafe and top talking about something, though you can’t make it out. yesterday you thought, dreading when the boys swung by your house to get you, that it would be awkward to sit next to rafe and act like nothing had happened. surprisingly after the conversation this morning, you find that it’s not. he leaned over to open the door for you to get in, asked you how your class was, did the things he always did.
topper’s an idiot for boosting his wheels, and you’d told him as much when he showed you guys for the first time. getting down is a nightmare, even more in your sore state (which you are attributing to the pilates and not the boy sitting next to you right now). 
you turn to look at rafe again but he’s not there, and instead you see him in your window, opening the door and offering you a hand to get down. rafe’s probably helped you down a dozen times. this feels different, you admit to yourself, holding onto his hand to get down and keenly aware of his other hand hovering around your waist.
inside, the party is in full swing, one corner by the windows with billows of smoke and a group of boys in another corner mixing drinks. 
the four of you end up like always—divided into half on opposite ends of a painted pong table from someone’s old frat house. some girl top’s been talking to makes her way over, hanging off his arm before long. rafe watches you toss the white ball, your nose scrunching up in concentration. you cheer when it goes in, turning to hug kelce. you’ve only had two cups but you’re getting tipsy already, he can tell.
“top. top!” rafe shouts over the music, but he’s too busy talking to the girl to notice.
“man, he’s clearly busy,” kelce says with a laugh.
“i agree. looks like that one’s for you, rafe.” you look at him with a giddy smile, leaning forward on the table, palms pressed flat. he wishes you wouldn’t—he can see down the front of your dress from this angle. you cheer when rafe chugs the cup of cheap beer.
he should make the next one just to get back at you, but he doesn’t want you to get too drunk. instead he misses, the ball falling right into kelce’s hands. 
if you were sober, you’d roll your eyes—you’d recognize that rafe missed on purpose. he’s better at this than all of you combined.
“give me five,” rafe says to top, casting one more glance back at you and kelce before walking towards a group of people on the couches and fishing something out of his pocket.
he’s gone, at most, ten minutes, and returns to find kelce missing. his place is taken by some brunette boy, who is currently trying to show you the best way to toss the ball. he’s standing awful close, a hand on your shoulder, his gaze on your exposed skin while you stare at the red cups.
“who the fuck is this?” rafe barks, though with the music blasting, only topper can hear him.
“i dunno, kelce ran off with that chick he’s been hooking up with-” the white ping pong ball lands in the red cup closest to rafe. he hopes he doesn’t look up to see something that’s gonna piss him off, but it’s dashed in seconds—you hugging the stranger in glee that you made another shot. 
he swings around the table, shooting a glare at the boy while putting himself in between the two of you. he faces the boy first.
“get lost.” the boy tries to say something, but rafe interrupts before he can get a word out. “get. lost.” you watch him scramble away, rafe turning to face you.
“c’mon. we’re done with pong.”
“but i made the last one!”
“i said we’re done. y’lucky i don’t take your ass home.”
“we just got here. why would you take me home?” you question.
for all the big talk, all the jokes and banter and emotions you’re trying to bury, you still don’t understand the simple truth known to everyone that’s ever met you and rafe—he’s never going to be happy seeing you with any boy besides himself.
“what’s wrong?” you question softly, looking up at him with big, confused, drunk eyes, not snarky like he thought you might be.
“no. just.. stop talkin’ to strangers, s’all.”
“but he was nice!” you yell over the music, picking up another cup from the table and taking a sip. you hate beer, but they took top’s jeep and not rafe’s truck, so there’s no spiked seltzer here for you. 
“no he wasn’t.” he takes the cup from your hand, pouring half the beer out into another cup before shoving it back in your hand.
“yeah he was! don’t you want that? the sooner i find a nice guy we can stop all of this, right?” you look at him earnestly, before chugging the rest of your beer. 
“alright, you’re cut off.”
the rest of the night goes by the same as all the others—kelce and top into a competition to see who can get more drunk, you tipsy enough to talk loudly about anything that comes to mind and rafe scaring away any guy who stares at you for too long. you stare at rafe’s back when he goes to sell, watching a pretty girl touch his arm when he’s counting the cash she’s handed him. 
you look away since you feel the beer coming back up, anger bubbling. you focus on topper, trying to follow along with his nonsensical conversation about his ex-girlfriend.
“don’t worry,” kelce says, and you turn your gaze on him, confused. “he didn’t even look at her.”
“what?” but his eyes aren’t on you, glancing behind you. you turn, though you shouldn’t, looking at rafe, two girls laughing at something while he opens the little white packet for them. glancing at kelce, and then at top, who is keeled over on the sofa, nursing a half-empty bottle of tequila just by himself, you walk over to where rafe is.
“wait, don’t-” kelce calls out after you, but you don’t listen.
“rafe, i think top’s ready to go. are you?” you interrupt his conversation with the two girls, and though you despise the fact that you’re doing this, you realize kelce was right. he wasn’t even looking at them. you gesture at your two other best friends on the couch, kelce trying to yank the bottle from top’s grip.
“yeah, kid. c’mon, this place is dead anyways.” you smile, though you shouldn’t let rafe see it. no, your smile is for the girls. you feel an unparalled joy when rafe swings his arm around you, guiding you back to the couch. 
you shouldn’t look back, but you do. the girls look mad and you feel happy.
this is fucked—the very thought sobers you. you shouldn’t be happy that those girls think there’s something between you and rafe, but you are. 
rafe manhandles topper into standing up, while kelce turns to talk to you. he’s drunk, and it comes out like a laugh. you smile, thinking he’s going to make some joke about top and tequila.
“you’re just as toxic as he is. hah. and i thought rafe was bad-”
“what?” you ask, but rafe cuts you off before you can figure out what kelce means.
“kelce, it’s your job to make sure he doesn’t puke in the back.”
“man, why am i always on top watch-”
in the car, you pick the music while rafe drives. you notice he keeps an eye out in the backseat, with top’s head half out the window and kelce texting on his phone.
“did you sell a lot?” you ask. you’ve never really mentioned it before, so rafe didn’t expect it tonight.
kelce’s words linger in your head. if you weren’t sober before he said that, you certainly are now. 
“enough. why?”
“just wondering. i saw you before we left, that’s all.” you look at the road ahead, listening to the quiet tune of the bryson tiller song you’d put on.
“you saw me?”
“with the pretty girl throwing herself at you? hard not to see.” you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth—you sound bitter and angry, two things you truly are, but you don’t want rafe to know already.
“what, you jealous, kid?”
“why would i be jealous? you’re not my boyfriend.” it comes out louder than you expected, trying to talk over top and kelce’s voices in the backseat.
“no, m’not.” 
you bite your cheek and stare out the window. 
“not to interrupt, or anything, but i think top’s gonna puke-” you jolt when rafe slams on the brakes.
tannyhill is fifteen minutes from where the party was, but it takes fifty minutes to get back. rafe pulled over twice to let topper puke on the side of the road, so it’s three am before the four of you get back.
you want to go home—the alcohol in your system and unfinished conversation with rafe have left you feeling queasy too, but it’s three in the morning. top and kelce are too drunk to drive you, and you don’t want to ask rafe.
you decide that you don’t want to be alone with rafe either, changing into one of the shirts you’d brought from home and stupidly looking down realizing it’s one of rafe’s. did you own a single t-shirt that wasn’t from his closet? where had all of your clothes gone?
grumpy that you’re in his clothes, upset that he had pretty much admitted he wasn’t your boyfriend, and riddled with the assumption that he meant he would never be your boyfriend, you collect a pillow and one of the blankets from his bed, walking out the door when you hear rafe’s voice saying your name.
“where the hell are you goin’?” facing him, you stare at your feet.
“the couch.”
“when have you ever slept on the couch here?”
“i’m starting something new.”
“get in bed before i drag you there.” you groan, thumping both feet on the ground before stalking into the room. rafe exhales loudly, loud enough that you hear it, before muttering something under his breath and following you inside, closing the door.
you sit on the bed, but before you can think about what you’ve done, you bunch up a pillow in your hand.
“you-” you throw the pillow at rafe, which misses him completely. “suck!” the second thuds against his chest, before falling on the ground. you huff from your position on the bed.
rafe picks up both pillows, dropping them on the bed.
“what the hell was that?”
“this whole thing was a mistake.”
“it’s been two days.”
“well i’m an emotional fuck!”
“yeah, i can tell.” you pick up the pillow again, whacking rafe’s side with it.
“ugh! you can’t just-” your hands falter, dropping next to you while you look up at rafe through wet eyes. “-just say that us sleeping together is a good idea because you don’t want me with any other guys. what the fuck am i supposed to do with that?” 
“i don’t know! you’re the fuckin’ clueless one. what’d you think that means?”
“stop! just tell me! stop making me think, i’m so drunk and everything is mental gymastics with you-”
“well stop throwin’ my own pillows at me!”
“you suck, rafe. all of this and you can’t just tell me whether you like me or not?” 
in hindsight, you don’t know where the question came from. maybe a small part of you that wasn’t willfully ignorant suspected a long time ago that the way rafe acts towards you is more than just overprotective friendship. you had buried the thought the second it emerged—rafe cameron doesn’t have girlfriends, doesn’t do relationships. the rafe that’s been your best friend was your best friend for that very reason, because you weren’t in love with him.
or at least you thought you weren’t in love with him. and at least, he thought you weren’t in love with him.
the truth, you’re beginning to realize, watching rafe grab the pillow you’re about to hit him with out of your hands and set it down, is that rafe only acts the way he does with you, and no one else. the drinks you like in the back of his car, his shirts in your closet, the bed you share and all the time you two spend alone. you thought it was a great friendship, and maybe it was. but all along there’s been something bubbling underneath the surface, the feeling in the pit of your stomach when he started talking to that girl, how angry you get when you see him with any girl that’s not you. 
you thought rafe’s a dick for giving you such a hard time about any boy you try to talk to. he is a dick, but you’re the bitch that can’t stand seeing him with another girl.
and as the thoughts rush through your head, rafe looks at you in his bed, in his shirt, and realizes the answer to your question is that there’s no one in the world he likes more than you.
“you should have told me ‘bout the emotional fuck part.”
“you should have just confessed.”
“nah, not really my thing.” he sits down on the bed next to you, and you stare up at blue eyes that are looking at you, a smile on his lips. “this whole thing was a bad idea.”
“it’s been two days,” you mock.
“yeah, well, we tried it.”
“do you regret it?” you hold your breath for the moment of truth.
“c’mon kid. yeah, i do. ‘cause i’m not letting you out of my sight after this. you’re dating me or no one at all.”
“so if we break up-”
“straight to the convent for you. don’t worry, i’ll send you a care package. strawberry seltzer and those porno books-”
“shut up.”
“you shut up. and get the fuck into bed. it’s late.”
“you don’t want one last emotional fuck? on your last day as a single man?” you tease, crawling under the sheets. “learn how to read a clock. it’s past midnight.”
“oh. whatever, you know what i mean.”
“i guess i can be convinced-” he leans in for a kiss, and you hold your breath waiting for it, when there’s a sharp knock on the door.
“guys. sorry to interrupt whatever the hell this is, but i think top needs to get his stomach pumped.”
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moonstruckme · 5 months
Note
perhaps whimsical!reader x one of the marauders (you choose) who’s being made fun of but doesn’t realize it? And they defend you or talk to you or something?
Thanks for requesting <3
Remus Lupin x whimsical!reader ♡ 745 words
Remus watches as your eyes drift out the window beside his couch.
“I think you’d like it,” James continues, unaware that he’s lost your attention as he tells you about the shop he’d gone to with Mary the day before. “They’ve got incense and crystals, all that stuff.” 
When you don’t react, Remus nudges your leg with his. 
You look at him. “Hm?” 
“That does sound like someplace you’d like,” he tries to clue you in, “doesn’t it?” 
“Oh, yes.” You give James a breezy smile. He returns it with ease, not a lick of pique about him. “Thank you, James, I’ll have to go. Where is it?” 
James’ thick eyebrows come together. “You know, I’m not actually sure. Mary led the way there and I just sort of followed, but I want to say it was on fourth.” 
You nod, and Remus smiles at your obvious expertise on the matter. He doubts there’s a shop of that kind that you haven’t been to, but you’re humoring James just to be kind. “Right, there’s a string of them on fourth street. Maybe I can ask Mary sometime and see if—oh, the fawn is standing up!” 
You grab Remus’ hand excitedly, turning in your seat to get a better view out the window. Your eyes are very nearly heart-shaped as you coo over the baby deer wobbling to its feet a few yards from Remus’ home. “Oh my goodness, it’s so precious. Do you guys see it?” 
Remus shoots James an apologetic look, but his friend smiles and shrugs it off, coming to lean over the couch beside you. 
“It is really cute,” he agrees.
Sirius laughs. “You’ve really got yourself a goldfish, haven’t you Moony?” You don’t pay him any mind, but Remus regards him quizzically. “She can’t seem to talk to anyone for more than two seconds before she’s distracted by something shiny.” 
Now, you turn, your head tilting like a puppy’s. “It’s not shiny, Sirius, it’s a fawn. Do you want to come see?” 
“It’s a figure of speech, love.” 
“Pads.” Remus’ voice is hard. “Don’t.” 
Your brows pucker at your boyfriend’s tone. “Remus,” you sound almost hurt, “what’s wrong?” 
He wraps a protective hand around your thigh, but James speaks before he can. 
“It’s nothing,” he says cheerily. His voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “They’re always squabbling like this, they’re like an old married couple. Best to do as I do and stay out of it.”
“Oh, please,” Sirius guffaws. “Like you’ve ever stayed out of anything in your life.” 
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” James says. Remus relaxes as the beginnings of a bemused smile touches your lips. “I don’t partake in any such childish quarreling.” 
It’s only after his friends leave and Remus is cleaning up his kitchen from all the snacks they’d left strewn about, that he says quietly, “Don’t mind Sirius, dove. His sense of humor can be mean, but he wouldn’t tease you if he didn’t like you.” 
You pause sweeping up the floor, looking at him curiously. “What do you mean? I thought they were both really nice.” 
“They are,” he says, “but I just want to make sure you understand that when Sirius was making fun of you, he didn’t really mean anything by it.” 
“He was making fun of me?” 
Remus swears he feels his heart fall right out his ass. 
“Yes, sweetheart, but like I said, he was only teasing.” He gives you a small smile, but at your puzzled look, reluctantly clarifies, “You remember when he said you were a goldfish?” 
You nod. 
“That was it, dove. That was the joke.” 
“Oh.” You smile funnily, one side of your mouth quirking up more than the other. “Is that supposed to be a bad thing? I’d love to be a goldfish.” 
A little laugh startles out of Remus. “Really?” he asks.
You nod happily, resuming your sweeping. “They can see more colors than humans, did you know? And they’re really very pretty.” 
It’s all Remus can do to keep from crossing the kitchen to squish you in a hug. He’s grinning ear-to-ear. “Well,” he says, trying to match your serene tone, “then it suits you, dove.”
“I think so,” you say lightly. “You should be a goldfish too, Remus. Or actually, I think I see you more as a seahorse. We could both be seahorses, if you like.” 
“Don’t seahorses mate for life?” 
“Mhm. Suits us, don’t you think?”
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linopls · 8 months
Text
kinktober day eight
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breeding hyunjin x fem!reader summary: hyunjin figures out a new kink of yours. warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, degradation, humiliation, oral (male receiving), unprotected p in v 1.5k words
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you haven't seen hyunjin in two weeks. neither of your schedules have aligned for fourteen days. you’re going what one would call boyfriend-withdrawal and it was terminal. you both had finally found a day that works, or a night. hyunjin told you he would be outside your apartment at 9:00 PM, it was 11:00PM. 
you’re fighting sleep at this point. you’ve had a coffee, an energy drink, and have turned down your AC to levels that will keep you awake. but you were just about to give up and let sleep overtake you on your couch, when you hear the sound of keys and your door knob moving. you jump off the couch, almost tripping in the process. 
before hyunjin can even enter your apartment, you’ve enveloped him in a kiss. he slides his unoccupied arm around your lower back and pulls you closer. he walks you both back into the room and shuts the front door with his foot without breaking contact. he drops his overnight back at your feet and wraps his now freed arm around your upper back, pulling your chest against his.
his lips are soft, everytime you kiss him that’s the first thing you think. they’re plush and soft and fit against yours like a puzzle piece. the way he kisses is perfect, it's never too sloppy but you can always taste him on your lips for hours after you’ve kissed him. he always knows exactly how to hold you to keep you close and drive you insane. 
you start to slide your hands under his shirt and rub your fingers over his abs when he pulls away.
“baby, i have barely gotten in the door,” he laughs, looking down at you. “what’s up with you today?” 
“i’ve missed you so much.” you grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it up and over his head. “so, so, so much,” you say, dragging your nails gently back down his chest.
“don’t start something we both know you can’t finish,” he says sternly. you can tell by the way he talks that there is love behind everything he says and that he’s missed you too, but you decide to play along and see how far you can go and push his buttons.
“i can finish anything i start, hyunjin.”
“go sit on your bed. i’ll be there in a minute.”
his demeanor change sends waves of heat to your core. and as you hurry into your bedroom you catch a glimpse of the tent forming in his shorts. 
you take the extra time hyunjin has given you to light the candles on your night stand and shut the blinds on the window. you adjust the pillows upright and and adjust the comforter and sit with you back against the headboard while you wait for your pretty boyfriend to come back. 
he returns after about five minutes, his shirt still off and his overnight bag in his hand. he places it down on your dresser before stopping to look at you. “come here,” he commands, motioning you with his finger. 
you crawl to the edge of the bed and let your feet hang off the side. “get up,” he says, his tone never shifting, you obey and stand. he turns to face you, places a soft kiss on your lips. “kneel.”
you drop to the floor with enthusiasm, staring face to face with his crotch. you move you hand to palm him through his shorts, but he swats your hand away before you make content. “i didn’t say you could touch me, you’re so desperate.”
you whine. “‘m sorry.”
“show me how sorry you are,” he says, sliding his shorts down his legs revealing his long and dripping cock. 
your mouth waters at the sight and you go to wrap your lips around the tip and he stops you again. “you’re such a little cockslut, aren’t you? hmm? just open your mouth for me.”
it was like you were playing ‘simon says’ the way hyunjin said anything and you compiled, no questions asked. he slowly slides his cock down your throat. its heavy on your tongue and reaches the back of your throat with ease, you gag and he pulls out, doing the same action again until you are used to the feeling.
“only been gone two weeks and i have to retrain you to take me, hmm?” he laughs.
hyunjin pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail and whispers a small ‘you ready?’. when you give the go ahead he begins fucking your mouth at an animalistic pace, rutting inside you like he never had before. tears are streaming down your face and your moaning and whining at the feeling of hyunjin using your mouth. 
“fuck, thats it baby,” he grunts between thrusts. “make me feel good.”
your eyes roll to the back of your head and you're humming around him trying to bring him closer to his orgasm,when he stops and pulls out of your mouth.
“strip for me,” he says as he walks over to your bed and sits in the middle, back against the headboards. you do so quickly, knowing what's about to happen next. 
you crawl onto the bed and hover over his cock. “good girl, i didn’t even have to ask,” he praises while putting his hands on your hips.
as you slide down you’re overwhelmed with pleasure. you’ve tried to relieve yourself for two weeks but nothing feels as good as him. you slowly slide yourself up and down his thick cock, admiring the feeling. hyunjin stares at you with admiration and lust.
“will you ride me til i cum, baby?” he doesn’t need to ask, he knows the answer, you’d do anything to please him.
you slowly start to quicken your pace, balancing yourself by gripping his broad shoulders. pleasure hazing your mind at the feeling of his veiny cock sliding against your walls. hyunjin takes his hands and folds them behind his head. you whine at the lost of him touching you.
“you’re fine, baby. you can do the work today, i had a very stressful day,” he says. the way his voice is completely steady during this sends frustration and arousal to your core.
you begin to move faster. you move your hands to his knees in hope that can make you move faster but it doesn’t elicit a reaction from him. you whine again, worried you won’t make him finish yourself.
hyunjin must pick up on your frustration. “you can do it, baby. you can fuck me til i fill up your tight cunt.” 
the thought of him filling you up makes you dizzy. you whimper at the thought and try to ride him faster, moving your hips in circles.
“oh,” hyunjin gasps. “does the idea of me filling you up get you going?”
you whine in response, uncontrollably clenching around his cock. which at this new speed and angle is hitting your cervix directly.
hyunjin smirks. “keep going then, baby. fuck yourself on my cock til i fill you up and keep going so nothing slips out.”
you’re going insane, your mind is full of hyunjin and you want nothing more than to drain him completely. 
“come on, baby. that’s it,” he grunts. “at this rate, you’re gonna get yourself pregnant if you keep going.”
your brain short circuits at the thought and all you're able to do is moan.
hyunjin chuckles. “hm, is that what you want, baby? to be so round and full of me, hm?” he asks, placing his hand on your lower stomach. 
“yes, yes, god yes,” is all you are able to reply with. tears streaming down your face, heart pounding out of your chest, and sweat falling onto the bed below you.
“keep going, i’m gonna fill you up, i’m gonna knock you up so good,” hyunjin is blabbering as his hips grind up to meet yours. he moves his thumb down to your clit and rubs small circles on the sensitive bud. you yelp in pleasure as he finally gives you some assistance. 
“close,” you whine, grinding down desperately on his cock. 
“fuck, fuck!” hyunjin is yelling at that point, humping his throbbing cock up into you. “please cum with me, please cum as i fill you and make you mine. please.”
hyunjin’s cries send you over the edge and you’re cumming all over his cock. your juices slipping all over his lap and your hips buck controllably. before you can even realize it, hyunjin grabs you by the waist and slams you back onto the bed.
“jin! jinnie!” you whine as he continues his brutal attack on your hole. hips spazzing in overstimulation.
“stop squirming slut, take my fucking cum,” he spits. “gonna fill you up til you're swollen and pregnant.”
he thrusts once more before you can fill his cock twitch and his warm seed spilling inside you. he slows down his motions and pulls out. he swiftly replaces his cock with his fingers. he holds your squirming body still with one of his arms over your stomach. 
“i said i didn’t want anything to fall out.”
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hehe
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whereisten · 7 months
Text
To Be Forgiven
FT: Suguru Getou & Nanami Kento
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Pairing: Suguru Getou x Nanami Kento x reader Genre/Themes: sMUT! Convent (nuns and priests), angst Warnings: Threesome - F/M/M, vampire priests, loss of virginity, praise kink, light BDSM (rope use, spanking) overstimulation, multiple orgasms, oral sex (m and f receiving), rough sex, blood mention, gaslighting, devotion, voyeurism, degradation, dumbification, creampie, character death, vampire priests Word Count: 8.8k
A/N: WELL... this is probably the dirtiest thing i've ever written, and I know its not kpop or nct based so im sorry for that. It was HEAVILY inspired by these two posts: https://x.com/polariae/status/1722684591079673876?s=20 https://x.com/kimmy_art0912/status/1721731893622714594?s=20 (so please take a look to get a good image in your mind before you start reading hehe the artists are amazing) Also, this in no way is meant to offend Christianity or the world of Catholics, the theme is only used for fantasy. Sorry if it's a little messy, i just had to get it out of my system. Dont forget to leave a comment if you like it! Thank youuuu xoxo
Freedom felt good. That’s what you thought to yourself the moment you stepped off the bus and onto the new convent you’d be living the rest of your life in. You’d finished college, graduating as you set out to do and now came the next step: devoting your life to Christ. 
Your parents didn’t understand your desire to live this way, but they supported you nonetheless. With tearful eyes, they bid you farewell and swore to stay strong until the next time they’d see you.
You drag your luggage to your room and sit down on your bed, inhaling and exhaling the fresh air slowly. 
“Hi! You’re new here!” A woman dressed in her holy tunic stands in the middle of your open doorway, her hands placed in front of her as she smiles.
You smile back. “Oh..yes! I just got here actually.”
“That’s wonderful, welcome to our home, my name is Khadija and I hope I can help you at some point, my room is a few doors down if you ever need anything!” She waves as you nod. 
“Thank you, my name is Y/n.”
She nods as well and walks away.
A few days later, you’ve started speaking with other nuns in an effort to gain an understanding of how things normally operate. 
“At 8 A.M, we have breakfast together and then continue our studies in our assigned classrooms. Should you need anything, I am always here.” Sister Nancy, your neighbor, walks with you to breakfast. She guides you through the convent and provides helpful information.
While at breakfast you try to get to know her better. “How long have you lived here?”
“Hmmm…time has sort of..run away from me…” she looks puzzled as she stares at her bowl of oatmeal. Almost as if lost in thought, her voice trails off and eventually becomes silent.
“Sister Nancy?”
“Oh! Yes..about 5 years.” She nods and looks back up at you. Once at the end of your breakfast you stand up and bring your trays to the cafeteria where you can toss any trash.
“Sister Y/n..” Nancy says quietly while walking beside you.
“Yes?” You look at her curiously.
“I must tell you..when you study, when you learn how to best serve God here..please be wary..”
“I’m not sure what you mean..” your brows bunch together.
“Well..the priests here are great, devoted and caring..but there are some who..may not have good intentions.”
You place your trays down and walk together in the hall towards your rooms.
“Men of the cloth are always good, Sister Nancy, what do you mean by this?”
“They should be good..but they are not, be careful and stay steady in your faith, do not lose sight of your goal..”
She stops while you continue walking. 
“But Sister, who-?” You turn to look at her, but suddenly, she is gone, not even the breeze from her departure surrounds you.
You stare into the hall. “Sister Nancy?” You call out, but it is empty and eerily quiet. You turn back towards your room and bump into a large chest.
“Oh!”
You stumble backwards, but the tall, sturdy figure grabs your arms to hold you still.
“I am so sorry..”
You look up slowly. 
The man has long black hair, feline-like eyes and a tempting smile. You quickly look away and onto the floor as your mind starts to desire more than just this embrace.
He chuckles and it’s like angels have started to sing from heaven. “My apologies, I should’ve walked more carefully.”
He finally lets you go.
“You’re new here, right?” 
You look back up at him, a strand of hair gracing his beautiful face perfectly as he smiles. 
“Y-yes..I’m Sister Y/n..please forgive me for-“
“Ahh no need, Sister Y/n..please continue..my name is Suguru by the way, if you need anything, just let me know..” He steps to the side to let you pass, but never lets go of your wide eyes.
You wondered how such a young man could become a priest. He looked dark and mysterious, unlike any of the other priests you’d seen before.
[The Next Day]
You’re heading to your first class where you’ll be taught by Father Nanami. You sit down in your chair comfortably before looking around to see if you can find Khadija and Nancy. To your disappointment, they aren’t there.
Then, he walks in. The blonde man with small glasses makes your jaw drop. He is just as tall and young as Father Suguru, but he looks stern and serious.
He places his books down and looks around at the class. “Welcome, let us begin, please open your pages to the verse written on the board.”
He sounds just as strict as he looks, no “good morning” or “how are you?” He jumps straight into business.
He is also your personal counselor, but you aren’t sure if you’ll be visiting him often.
Later that day, you go apple picking with Sister Khadija. 
“Would you like to tell me of your life before you chose Christ?” Khadija asks, gently picking a ruby red apple from above her head.
“Sure! I was happy..I graduated college and felt I’d done it all..but somehow, I still felt empty. Then one day, I overheard a sermon on the radio..and I felt..I felt this urge, a calling, rather. I felt the need to participate in something much bigger than myself, and so I decided to devote my life to Him.”
Khadija smiles. “That’s very nice.”
“And what about you?”
“Oh..I..don’t quite remember, but yes, I did feel the calling as well.”
You nod slowly, then smile quickly to cover up your worry. How could she not remember?
“That’s great!”
As you’re walking back with baskets full of apples, you turn to her. “I didn’t see you in Father Nanami’s class today, do you have a class with another priest at that time?”
Khadija stops, dropping her basket as her eyes widen. “Wh-who’s class?”
You kneel down and begin to gather the apples that fell out. “Father Nanami..is everything okay, Khadija?”
She dips down to pick her basket up. “I’m sorry, Sister Y/n, how clumsy of me.”
“It’s okay! I-“
“But Y/n, Nanami is not a great instructor..I would recommend another professor..”
She looks into her eyes as your hands touch while reaching for the same apple.
You frown. “He seems to be very serious about his work, I feel I can learn a lot from him.” 
Khadija shakes her head. “He..is dangerous.”
You stand up straight and laugh. “Are his exams that bad? I figured he’d be a harsh teacher, but I look forward to the challenge!” You grip your basket and continue walking.
Khadija looks at you with a worried expression. She wished Nanami was a harsh grader, and nothing more, but unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.
[One Week Later]
You step into Nanami’s office to ask a quick question.
“Father Nanami-“
Suguru stands next to Nanami’s desk, flipping through one of his books before gazing up at you slowly. 
“Hello, Sister Y/n.”
You nod. “Hello! I’ll come by later.”
“Wait a moment, you can speak with me if you’d like.” He says smoothly before sitting in the chair.
“Oh..is Father Nanami not available today?”
Suguru smirks when he senses your unease. “He will be back in about an hour, what is it you’d like to ask him?”
“I-I’ll ask him tomorrow, it really is no problem.” You turn to leave, but he stops you.
“Are you enjoying your time here, Sister?”
He intertwines his fingers in front of him and places his chin on top.
You turn back to him and smile. “Yes..but to be honest with you, father, I’m not sure if I’m worthy to be here.”
He tilts his head slightly, a dark glimmer presents itself in his eyes..or are you just seeing things? “What makes you say that, Y/n?”
The absence of “Sister” from his sentence and the way your name rolls off his tongue makes you shudder, but the feeling quickly leaves you as you clear your throat.
You look to the floor. “I don’t know, it’s probably nothing more than nervousness.”
Suguru leans back. “Of course you are worthy, Y/n. Do not worry, Christ lives through you at all times.”
You look back up at him and return his smile. “Thank you, father.”
You leave and release a deep breath you'd been holding. Something about him made you..unsettled. You didn’t know why, but as you walk back to your room, you shake the feeling off, never noticing his eyes on you from the doorway.
A few weeks pass and you notice that you often see Father Nanami walking about the halls and chatting with other Priests or Nuns. Suguru is hardly ever around, but honestly, you didn’t mind it. The long-haired temptress reminded you of the sin that still resides in your heart. The sin of lust. You couldn’t deny it anymore, and it forced you to visit the chapel more often.
You could resolve this impure feeling if you just prayed and believed in your Lord.
Apart from that, your time at the convent was going well. You bonded with your Sisters, and learned from Father Nanami as well as your Bible.
Some nights, however, you wake up randomly with the doomed feeling of being watched. 
“Hello?” You say quietly as you turn your bedside lamp on and peer out into the corners of the room. There’s nothing, there’s no sound. You only hear your trembling breath. There’s a slight chill in the air and it makes you grip your blanket tightly. 
This would happen around the same time every night, but you brushed it off to you being nervous. After all, you’re in a new home, surely it would take some more time for you to get used to your new bed and room. You tried to brush off the thought that part of these strange occurrences had to do with your room being just a few feet away from a cemetery.
You couldn’t go back to sleep most nights so you’d stay up and read your Bible until the sun rose.
To make matters worse, you didn’t see Nancy or Khadija as often, you couldn’t talk to them about how your nights had been going.
[One Week Later]
You run into Father Suguru for the first time in a while. He was just leaving Father Nanami’s office when he collided with you while turning the corner.
“Oh!” He laughs, his smile causing his eyes to crinkle. Your heart weakens at the sight.
No. Remain firm.
“I am so sorry, Father Suguru.” You step back and bow slightly.
“It’s alright, Sister Y/n, how have you been doing? You look tired.” His smile falls when he notices how dark your eyes have gotten since the last time he’d seen you.
“Oh! Really?” You rub the side of your neck and look to the floor. “Is it that obvious?”
He nods. “What’s wrong? Are you having a difficult time here?”
You shake your head. “No..no it’s not that..it’s just-“
He steps closer, looking down on you intently with knitted brows.
“You see..I’ve been waking up…in the middle of the night..feeling strange.”
Suguru smiles slightly. “How so, Y/n?”
And once again, you felt anxious about his tendency to omit your title.
“It’s nothing, Father..I’ll be-“ movement behind him catches your eye. You see a nun now down the hall quickly.
Nancy.
“Sister Nancy! Wait!”
You call out, but she doesn’t stop.
You look back at Father Suguru. “I apologize, sir. I must be going.”
He nods and watches as you walk by him.
You run after Nancy who quickly turns a corner. “Wait!” You try to call after her again, but once you turn the corner, she’s gone.
Things were getting weird and you didn’t know why. The sudden disappearances, the disturbing stillness and chill at night, it all made you worried.
That night, you wake up as usual, but this time, you finally see a figure. You aren’t sure if you should feel relieved or frightened at the sight.
You turn your lamp on before turning back to her. “Sister..is everything okay?”
Sister Khadija stands at the foot of your bed with dark circles under her empty eyes. Her lips are gray and her hair is unkempt. You’d never seen her like this before.
“W-what’s wrong?” You sit up in your bed.
She only raises her hand and points to the window behind your headboard.
You stand up and look outside of it, but nothing is there, only darkness.
“Sister Khadija, what’s going-“ you turn back to look at her, but she’s gone.
Goosebumps engulf your skin as the room suddenly feels much colder. You open your door quickly to see if she has gone to her room, but no one is there.
You’re seeing things. You just need to sleep more, that’s all.
You close your door again and climb into bed. You clutch your blanket then reach for your Bible, praying that Sister Khadija is sleeping soundly in her room.
The next night, the same thing happens, but this time with Sister Nancy. 
“Nancy-“ you wipe your eyes and focus on her face.
“You have to leave.” She says softly then runs out of your room. 
You jump out of the bed and run after her, ignoring the fact that you’re inappropriately dressed in just your nightgown and running through the halls of the convent.
You run fast, trying hard to not lose her this time. You needed answers. Why were they both visiting you at night? What did she mean by “you have to leave?”
But after running for nearly 4 minutes, you finally lose sight of her. You stop and look around in hopes of figuring out which dark, gloomy hall you’re in. The walls are lit by candles, making it difficult to figure out, but you’re sure that you’ve never been in this particular corridor before.
*thump*
Your head flicks toward the end of the hall where a loud banging sound comes from.
You walk towards it and hear it again.
As you get closer, you also hear soft groans and whispers.
Your hand hovers over the door knob. Should you enter? What do you expect to see? Someone that could help you get back to your room?
Without much thought, you turn it and push the door open slowly.
Your eyes widen at the sight.
It’s Priest Suguru on a bed. 
You gasp. He’s tied up with thick rope and completely naked. His head hangs low as he watches a nun’s head move on his lower half.
“Slower..yes..just like that.” His intoxicating voice fills the room. You step back and the sound of your foot just barely dusting the wood causes his head to snap up.
You cover your mouth.
His eyes are red and glow in the dim lighting of the candle lit room.
But what’s even more frightening is the blood that drips from the corners of his mouth. His chest heaves as he smiles wickedly. You tremble at the sight of two large fangs in his smile. 
“Y/n…” he calls out softly to you. Your eyes refuse to leave his body. Your knees feel weak as a mixture of emotions flood you. Fear, confusion, lust- you become too overwhelmed to speak.
The Sister below him releases his dick from her mouth, causing a ‘pop’ sound to echo. She turns around to face you, her mouth drips with blood and her eyes glow as well. She wipes her mouth with her fist before standing up and walking towards the door. 
You stumble backwards, your eyes still focused on Suguru behind her.
And then, the door slams in your face.
You snap out of your gaze, feeling your body experience a shock unlike anything you’ve felt before. What did you just see? Was it real? No, you had to be dreaming. Suguru, a holy man, would never—
The gorgeous sounds of his moans fill your head.
“Stop!” You say to yourself as your eyes grow teary.
You start running away from the door. You had to find your room, you had to repent immediately. How could your lustful mind conjure up such a degrading image of a priest? You’re disgusting, you’re unworthy of the Lord.
You pray you can be forgiven for your sin, but the sudden wetness in between your legs tells you that it may be too late.
———
[One Week Later]
Fortunately, you hadn’t seen Suguru since that night. You still weren’t sure if you dreamt it or not, but you begged God every night that it wasn’t real. 
“Are you okay, Sister Y/n?” Father Nanami interrupts your thoughts. You look around the classroom to see you’re the only one still there.
“Oh! Yes, Father, I apologize..I’ll get going.”
“You look tired, get some sleep tonight.” He says before grabbing his briefcase and leaving.
“Yes, Father.”
That night, you tossed and turned. You had vivid dreams of the halls and the people you saw every day. Your dreams were more realistic  than ever before.
You then start to dream of that dreaded night..but there is something different.
You feel your wrists are tied to your head board, your legs are pulled apart by large hands as you wiggle on your bed. Your nipples are perky, peeking through your gown, and you can feel your slit leaking.
You look down and see him. His hair is tied up and his upper half is naked.
Suguru crawls over you slowly.
You moan when you see his low gaze on your body.
He lifts your gown up and kisses your stomach with his pillowy soft lips. He works himselfvall the way down to your entrance. You can feel his hot breath fanning it.
“Father..please.” You close your eyes tightly and beg, and with just the sound of this one desperate plea, Suguru licks in between your slit.
Your back arches instantly. 
Finally.
His mouth on you feels amazing, you can’t stop moving your hips in an effort to get more from him.
He grips your thighs tightly, pushing them even further apart to lick and suck all parks of you.
Your moans grow louder, your breathing becomes quicker, you’re so close.
He reaches up with one hand under your gown and caresses your breast.
“Look at me.” He demands.
You look down as he drapes your leg over his shoulder and licks at a faster pace.
You lock eyes with his red ones.
“Faster..faster..please..I need more.” You cry out.
And Suguru follows your commands all while watching you writhe under him.
And with one final flick of his devilish tongue, you cum.
Your eyes fly open, you jump out of your sleep while panting.
Another lustful dream.
How could you betray God like this? You can't control your urges, it’s becoming a distraction and a serious problem that needs to be dealt with.
You start to cry quietly and decide that it’s time to get help.
You get on your knees and begin to pray until the sun comes up for only God could banish these cravings and impure thoughts.
———
[The Next Day]
You visit Father Nanami after class.
“Hello..do you have a moment?”
“Yes, come in.”
You close the door behind you and sit in front of his desk.
“How can I help you, Sister Y/n?”
In your time at the convent, you’d never seen him smile, and you certainly didn’t expect to see it today.
He looks sternly at his laptop, awaiting your reply.
You swallow hard, where should you start?
“Father Nanami..I saw..Suguru the other night..he was..he was tied up and in a strange position and he…he was partaking in scandalous activities with another Sister..”
He stops typing and looks up at you over his screen.
“But father..the strangest thing of all is that his eyes were red and his mouth dripped with what I think was..blood..it was..it was terrifying.”
“And yet..you couldn’t look away..could you, Sister Y/n?”
Your eyes grow. Nanami saw right through you and instantly knew of your sins.
“Father..I’m so sorry, I must beg for forgiveness.”
He takes his glasses off and places them onto the desk. He shrugs. “Why?”
You’re confused. “Because..because I saw the devil and had impure thoughts, Father! I’ve sinned, I’m unworthy of being here.” You bring your hands to your face and start to sob in them.
“Shhhh..no need to cry, Y/n..simply beg for forgiveness and do as he says..”
You nod. “Yes, father, I will visit the chapel right away and live as God tells me to, I-“
Nanami chuckles. “No..no Y/n..beg him for forgiveness..”
“..him?” You look up slowly.
“Father Suguru is the one whose image your impure mind has desecrated without reason..surely, you don’t think what you saw was anything more than your lust taking form in a dream? You imagined Suguru as something completely opposite of who he is, and you need ask for his forgiveness as he is the human embodiment of God..we all are, isn’t that right, Y/n?”
“Oh..I see, I apologize for not understanding..I will go to him right away.”
Nanami nods. “Good girl.”
You look to the floor to not see his smirk. But you can feel it in his tone and it’s strange.
You go to Suguru’s office in the evening when everyone is leaving to prepare for bed.
“Father Suguru..?” you say softly, but feel worried as you stand in his doorway.
“Oh. Sister Y/n..it’s nice to see you.” He gives a sly smile.
You nod.
“Close the door.” He sets aside a few books and sits down.
Like before, you find it hard to get started, but know you must in order to become a better Christian.
“Father..I must confess and with this confession I hope that you will not change your perception of me..I-I hope you will forgive me and allow me to continue to grow in this establishment.”
“Sister Y/n..you don’t believe you are worthy of being here, so why should I believe it?”
Your mouth falls open.
A smug look crosses his face. “You’ve come here to ask for my forgiveness, but have you forgiven yourself?”
“Father..I-I don’t follow.”
“What is it you’d like me to forgive you for? For watching..for craving..for..wanting to not only feel the devil but to taste him as well?”
You step back and gasp. “Father! I would never-“
“Oh, Y/n..sure..I’ll forgive you, but I know that’s not the only thing you desire.” He stands behind his desk and holds his hands together in front of him, his grin never leaving his face.
“Father, I only wish to absolve myself of my sins and live purely. It is the goal that I-“
He waves his hand. “Sure..sure..but tell me Y/n..how did it feel?”
“H-how did “what” feel?”
He walks closer to you, making more and more hairs on the back of your neck raise with each step.
“The lust, the desire…the craving..”
“I-I don’t know..it felt..”
“Strange, right?” He smiles widely.
”I’ll forgive you if you’ll allow yourself to indulge in your fantasies tonight.”
“No!” You back away from him.
“My dear Y/n..these thoughts will only go away if you give in for just a moment.”
“So what I saw the other night..was real?”
“It’s as real as you want it to be, Y/n. Tell me..do you want to feel what it’s like to be tied up and at the mercy of another?”
You tremble.
“Hands can roam along your skin, press into your thighs and collect the slick building in between your slit..fingers part it to allow way for my tongue to taste you and draw out your long withheld moans. But I won't stop, not until you’ve really felt me inside, making you the perfect size for me, pushing every breath out of your body. Not until our bodies become one and you’ve cried out to God for release.”
“Father..” you breathe heavily, his lips just inches from yours.
“And with your hands tied behind you, you’ll have no choice but to bounce on me until I’ve said I forgive you..even if it takes all night..you’re mine to control. In every position, in every hour..we’ll gain a brief moment in heaven together..only then can your sins be absolved.”
You swallow hard.
“You watched the devil and you liked what you saw..are you ready to fuck him too?”
Suguru’s eyes become a deep shade of red.
“How can you say such obscene things? What are you?” You stare into his eyes.
“A servant of God..of course…but I’m also the one that can make you feel so..so good.” he places a hand on your neck and tilts his head.
“But you..you’re..”
“Yes..Y/n..go on..say it.” His eyes follow your lips.
“A demon..”
He chuckles and his eyes float downwards. “And you’re as wet as you were that night..so shall we?”
“How can you..live in the house of God?” You look up with wide eyes.
Suguru lifts one corner of his mouth. “You see..I use my abilities for good Y/n..just one night and I shall remove the impurities from your blood, would you like me to?”
You hesitantly nod. He takes you into his arms and cranes down to your neck.
You grunt at the sudden move.
He then digs into your neck, causing you to yelp, your head falls back over his shoulder. The pain quickly turns into a pleasurable feeling as he sucks your blood. Your body relaxes in his arms. He pulls away and tilts your chin toward his to kiss you deeply. It’s your first kiss, so he leads you into it, caressing your lips slowly, mixing your spit with your blood. 
Your eyes close as you feel his tongue dance over your bottom lip. You relax more and more into his arms and embrace the feeling of his broad chest against your back.
He pulls away and looks into your eyes. “Do you wish to feel more? Do you wish to indulge your sins and be absolved of them thereafter?”
You nod, feeling your willingness to leave dissipate after his kiss. He smiles. 
“Very good, Y/n.” He says before sucking again.
He takes you to a room lit with only candles.
He carefully removes your head cover and dress, then pulls his rope out from a closet. 
He ties your hands behind your back, and continues to create intricate patterns across your body, making sure to kiss you every now and then. His cold fingers brush against your skin, sparking fires.
You feel vulnerable, but follow his every move and command as you kneel on the bed.
He removes his collar and lets his holy robe drop to the floor. You stare at his magnificent body causing him to laugh out. “The lust in your eyes is delicious” he puts his hair up in a bun, but a part of you wishes he’d let it stay down so you could run your hands through it.
You turn away in embarrassment. “I’m sorry father, I-“
He turns your face back to his and continues to kiss you. When he pulls away he runs his thumb along your bottom lip. “Are you ready?” 
You nod.
He lays down under you, fixes his face between your thighs and begins to eat you out as you cry out his name. 
With his hands on your ass, he forces you to move back and forth onto his face. Your ankles are tied to the same rope that binds your wrists, forcing you to stay open.
“Father!” You cry out when you feel the tip of his nose rub against you. You rock your hips back and forth on your own. 
More, you need more. That’s all you can think as his tongue explores you.
He groans against you, sending amazing vibrations through you.
“So sweet..your scent has driven me insane since you first stepped foot inside this convent..”
He groans and begins to buck his hips into his own cuffed hand.
He can’t wait to feel you around him, he can’t wait to drain you as you tremble and lose it all to him.
Suguru sucks your clit harder at the thought.
You yell out at the unexpected action and move faster.
Just then, Nanami walks in and stands at the end of the bed to watch.
“You really are trying to let God hear..”
You jump up and look at him, but Suguru digs his fingertips into your thighs to keep you still.
“Father Nanami! Please..forgive me.” You shut your eyes tightly, holding back your tears while cumming all over Suguru’s mouth.
Nanami palms himself through his jeans.
The casual look suits him very well, but you’re still embarrassed to let him see you like this.
He walks over to you, caressing your face with one hand and zipping his pants down with the other. “Shhh..open your mouth and all will be forgiven.” 
He rubs his thumb along your bottom lip, gently pushing downward.
You do as he says, doing your best to fit all of him into your mouth. Laying your tongue out underneath it, you push forward and taste the saltiness from the precum leaking out.
Suguru kneels beside you on the bed and watches.
“Yes, good girl, you follow instructions so well.” Nanami removes his collar and shirt now too.
You choke slightly after feeling him hit the back of your throat, but you keep going, bobbing slowly as your spit builds.
Suguru now licks your nipples, eventually biting into one and sucking your blood once more. You groan from the pain, sending vibrations onto Nanami who grunts and curses. 
He puts a hand to the back of your head and begins to thrust into you. Tears prick the ends of your eyes, you can barely breathe. If your hands were free, you’d use them to cover a few inches. If you could talk, you’d tell him to be gentler on you. But you take it all, knowing that you’d be forgiven if you bring both men satisfaction.
You moan as you feel your throat become raw.
“She’s being such a good girl..” Suguru smiles wickedly before licking up the blood around your wound.
Nanami finally releases along the bottom of your throat, choking you as tears fall onto your cheeks and your eyes become red.  You wish he’d tell you you were a good girl, but the stoic man simply says “Swallow.” And looks down on you through laser eyes.
You do as he says, swallowing every drop and hoping that it will somehow purify your soul like holy water or wine.
He pulls out. “Ahh good girl..” he finally smiles, using his thumb to collect the spit that escaped and putting it back into your mouth. Suguru kisses you to taste yourself as well as Nanami. Nanami caresses his hair and your head as well.
“Am I forgiven, father?” You look up at him with wide eyes.
He looks down at your breasts and neck, aching to bite into you so he can grow hard again.
Suguru then kneels in front of you and begins to cup his hand around his member. The tip is red and dripping with precum, you stare but Nanami grabs your hair to pull your neck back.
“There’s so much greed and lust in your eyes, you’ll have to do much more than that to gain forgiveness.”
He pushes you down so you now face Suguru’s member. 
“Open that filthy mouth of yours again.”
Nanami kneels on the bed behind you and begins to eat you out.
His tongue is lighter than Suguru’s, just applying kitten licks, but that somehow makes it hotter. You can’t help but move more in an effort to get closer to his lips.
Meanwhile, Suguru’s head falls back as you take him into your mouth. 
He isn’t as patient as Nanami thrusts into you while groaning, causing a yelp to escape you. Your throat, still raw and irritated from being pounded into by Nanami, still closes around him well. He whimpers and places his hand onto the back of your head.
Nanami adds his fingers to open you up more and you throw your head back. “Father!”
“So wet and pretty..this tight pussy of yours needs to be made ready.” 
He pushes in and out faster. You pull away from Suguru as Nanami’s fingers stretch you out.
“Slower, Father..please!”
“Focus on me, Y/n. It’s my forgiveness you should be seeking.” Suguru takes your chin in his hand and forces you to look back at him.
Nanami bites into your thigh, sucking harder and faster. You’re shocked to see that Nanami is the same as Suguru, but your focus shifts to the amazing feeling of being sucked from the area closest to your opening.
You quiver and clench around his fingers before moving up and down on them on your own.
Your moans send vibrations onto Suguru, and combined with the sight of your ass being up, he quickly cums in your mouth, leaving you a crying mess as he forces your head down. You choke while feeling the strings hit the very back of your throat once again.
You cum along with him, Nanami continuously pressing into a sweet spot. It feels too good to explain, but you know you’re too sensitive for more.
When he pulls out, you flick your head back to Nanami who continues to finger you.
“Father! I can't take any more.” You beg Nanami to leave your aching opening be.
You collapse into the bed and pant. Suguru laughs 
“We’re just getting started sweetheart. You’re ours tonight, then you’ll be God’s forever.” He says as he ties a collar around your neck. He then unties the rope around your legs. He hands the leash to Nanami who sits against the headboard. He tugs you back, wasting no time to grab your thighs and spread you apart over his lap. 
He forces you down onto him as you face Suguru. Suguru smiles again then flicks a thumb against your nipple.
In one move Nanami starts to enter you, causing you to squeal and attempt to run from the penetrative object , but he is just too strong. 
“You know it’s her first time, be gentle, Father.” Suguru chuckles.
Nanami tugs your collar hard, “how could I forget? This pussy is reserved for God, isn’t it? the blood will be even sweeter if I go harder, don’t you think?”
“Hmm only one way to find out.”
Nanami pulls you down hard, burying everything inside you at once. You lift yourself up while in tears, but he grabs you again.
“Where are you going? You have work to do..take me in as you take God into your heart.” He smirks. “This is the Godly dick you’ve been craving, isn’t it?”
“T-too much, Father Nanami, I can’t take it.” Heated skin against heated skin, fingertips digging into your skin to leave a permanent impression and the way you can’t stop dripping for them, it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before.
You should feel shame, but you don’t.
“Tsk tsk..you need to prove yourself worthy, Sister Y/n..need I remind you of why?”
You shake your head, tears leaving your eyes as you are stretched out. “It’s my first time, father, I do not know-“
“Just relax and move..”
His hands are stable on the inside of both knees. He begins to bring you up and down onto him. “Yes..just like that.”
You’re wide open for Suguru to see, with just rope around your body. You should feel embarrassed, but there’s something building in the depths of your stomach.
Suguru looks you up and down and sucks your neck as you move. His large hands rest inside your knees to help you move up and down. 
Nanami’s hand reaches around your waist, his fingertips part your folds and rub circles into your clit. 
It feels amazing, you moan louder and bounce faster. “Father! I’m..I’m going to—“
“Yes, sweetheart, cum for me…”
Your eyes roll to the back of your head, you want to stay still as you feel your climax rush over you, but Nanami continues to thrust into you.
Suguru releases and begins to touch himself again. “Ahh you taste so good.”
“Does she? Let me try.” Nanami pulls your collar, forcing your neck backwards. He bites in hard, still bringing you up and down on his member.
You whimper at the feeling, but shake soon after, cumming twice with just a few seconds between. You feel dizzy, you might pass out. But you also don’t want the men to stop. 
Nanami keeps moving as you cry out, your head falling back even more.
You move faster to get his orgasm, he pushes you forward once he's done sucking, kneeling behind you to rail you from behind.
You feel the collar tighten as he pushes harder, forcing your face down into the bed.
“You should feel shame for cumming before me, the holiest servant of God, what makes you think you are higher than me?”
He pushes even harder, making you cry out loudly. “I’m so sorry, father! I didn’t mean to!” You turn your face to the side to breathe.
Nanami spanks your ass hard, causing a breath to leave you and you clench around him.
“All the more reason for this exorcism to take all night, isn’t that right Y/n?” Suguru looks at your strained arms, feeling himself grow unbearably hard with your sweet blood still on his tongue.
“Yes, father, I will do whatever you wish me to!”
Nanami pulls the collar and spanks your ass again. You grunt and close your eyes, you can’t stop clenching around him.
“More father..please, I deserve this.”
A snicker escapes him and spanks you repeatedly as he fucks into you hard, leaving you gasping for air with each thrust.
Suguru kneels beside him and watches while touching himself.
“I’m going to cum inside you, if you let a drop escape, you will have disappointed God. Do you understand?”
You nod. “Yes father. I will keep you in.” You squeal.
He holds your warm ass onto his pelvis as he cums deep inside you.
“Fuck..so fucking good.” Nanami curses while listening to your whimpers.
He then pulls out and leans down to make out with you. You’re enraptured by his aggressive kiss, it’s as if he wants to take every breath out of you.
Suguru licks up the blood that trickles down your leg and moans. “You were right, Nanami. It’s sweeter than the apples and berries outside.”
Nanami pulls away, watching the string of spit that connected your lips drop onto your chin.
“Then she’s ready for you. You’re welcome.”
Suguru laughs then wastes no more time to enter you.
“Suguru!” You cry out, hoping that he’d give you a moment to recover, but he only laughs harder.
“Come on, Y/n, you’re supposed to be ready for me.”
You cry into the sheets, but Nanami lays under you. He hugs your upper body tightly as Suguru fucks you just as hard as he did.  
He sucks your neck, his fangs digging into another vein to pull out your impurities.
Your opening is silky and easy to move in, so it doesn’t take long for Suguru to cum again. 
“Ah-ah…father!” You climax with him, seeing stars while Nanami drains you.
Suguru pushes everything inside you as well, cursing as he watches you clench around nothing and shake. 
Nanami slides out from under you and leaves the bed. You pant and roll over onto your back, hoping that you’d finally be forgiven and welcome into the convent after tonight.
Suguru unties your rope, allowing your body to be free.
However, he can’t get enough of your blood, sucking your wrist while you gather your sanity.
Nanami then pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his jeans pocket. He sits 
 on the bed with his back on the headboard.
“Ride my thigh, sweetheart.” 
You shakily get on your knees and put your hands together in a prayer position.
“Father..please grant me forgiveness..”
He blows smoke into the air and smiles. “It wasn’t a question. Come over here.”
You do as he says, crawling over his impressively muscular thigh and grinding against it. He watches you through half lidded eyes and the sight makes you clench. Something about his disheveled blonde hair and the cigarettes he presses in between his swollen peachy lips makes it all hotter.
Suguru lays down beside him and smokes his cigarette as well. “Look at her, a whore that thinks she will be absolved of her sins.” Suguru chuckles.
“In all my 300-something years of life I’ve never pitied anyone more.” Nanami takes a drag.
You continue to move back and forth, but a sense of worry crosses you. “Father..I..what must I do?” You whine.
Nanami looks down at his hard member, having grown quickly since drinking your blood. 
You hurriedly move over it and grasp it in your hands. You may have grabbed it a little too hard as Nanami grunts. “Careful, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry, sir.” You carefully align it with your opening, but you’re too nervous to bring it any closer.
Nanami hands the cigarette to Suguru. He swats your hand away and grabs your waist, pulling you onto him with ease. You whimper, trembling as you adjust to his large size once more.
Your hands find his broad shoulders. 
You begin to bounce slowly. “Is it good, sir? Can you forgive me?” It’s a genuine question but you can’t help but feel ridiculous after hearing the desperation in your tone.
Nanami’s eyes are focused on the way your bitten breasts move. Your velvety pussy glides onto him easily, but he needs more. More of your blood, more of your essence.
He flips you over onto your back and sucks your right breast as he fucks into you hard, moving the entire bed as you squeal. 
“Too big!” You cry out after his animalistic move. He pounds into you without hesitation. Not caring if anyone heard the lewd sounds created by his thighs hitting yours, or the creaking bed hitting the wall repeatedly. The rush of your blood flowing from your tender breast and into his mouth as well as the sight of the muscular man in between your bender, sweaty legs makes you quiver.
“Now this!” thrust “..is how you take dick, Sister Y/n.” He smirks, pounding hard again. 
“Oh God!” Your head falls back as you are stretched out. It’s painful, but you cannot escape Nanami. He sucks your breast and places one hand around your throat. 
Your nails dig into his back as he drives you crazy. 
“Yes, Y/n, tell God how good your sins feel.” He pushes harder. 
You shake your head. “It is wrong to feel this good while sinning.” Your tears flow in a steady stream, you feel as though he may just rip you in two.
“Says who?” He grins wickedly. 
Your mouth falls open, you don’t know what to believe anymore.
He stops moving, you look down with furrowed brows. “Do you want me to stop, Y/n?” The corner of his lip tilts up slightly as he already knows your answer.
“No-no, Father, please contin- Ah!”
Before you can even finish, he’s back inside your depths again, molding your pussy around him like he will forever own it.
“Open your mouth wider Y/n..” Suguru takes the cigarette out of his mouth and kneels beside your head, pushing his member into your mouth.
He enters your mouth, thrusting in just as deep as he did before. You gag and Nanami smiles. “I much rather hear you gagging like this.”
Suguru smokes nonchalantly as you are ruined by both of them. You feel open and raw, your mind is mush and you are beyond sensitive. Your hips hurt from being open and your arms hurt from being bound before, but somehow you feel amazing.
They both watch you lose your innocence, your purity, and are happy to be at the center of it all. The sorrowful look on your face as you do anything for forgiveness, your eyes wet with tears and your mouth open, chin covered in a mix of spit and their cum drives them both crazy. There is nothing on your mind except how to please them and yourself.
“Cum with me, let us enjoy this moment together.” Nanami squeezes his hand around your throat then rubs your clit with his fingertips again and you both cum. 
Your voice becomes hoarse from yelling out their names all night. You press onto his abs as your eyes roll. Suguru pulls out to watch your wet lips overflow with a mixture of cum and spit.
“You fucked her stupid, Nanami.” Suguru giggles.
Nanami pulls out of you quickly before taking the cigarette from him.
“She’s even cuter now, isn’t she, Suguru?”
He sits back and watches as Suguru flips you over and grabs your leash, pulling your neck back as he fucks you from behind like a wild animal, moving so fast, all you feel is a vibration against your sweet spot.
“Mhmm our cute slut..don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll take care of you. Just keep gripping me..fuck..that’s my girl.”
He pushes in and pulls out completely, watching as his dick drips with so much slick.
Nanami blows smoke out and leans back. “Ask the slut a few questions, see if she even knows her own name.”
Suguru pushes back in. 
“Think you can just dream of these things and be forgiven, sweetheart?”
“Yes, father.” You grip the sheets beside your head, feeling as though you may lose consciousness at any moment. But the way Suguru makes you feel is too good to miss. You hope you can climax with him just one more time. Your body needs him, your pussy needs him.
“How badly do you want to be forgiven, will you please us all night long, is this pussy ours?”
“Yes, father.”
“You’re good at obeying, aren’t you?”
“Yes..father.”
“If you keep yourself from cumming, you’ll be forgiven, how does that sound?”
Your eyes widen, you look back at him and shake your head. “Sir..I don’t know if I can-“
He thrusts harder and pulls back.
“What was that?”
He leans over you, grabbing both of your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head.
“Obey..me..Y/n..or spend an eternity in hell.”
“Yes..father I will obey you!”
And this would’ve been possible had his fingers not been playing with your clit, you’re in tears as you try to hold back.
You feel his sweaty abs flex against your back, you hear his low and loud groans.
His hot breath fans the back of your neck.
You can’t possibly hold back.
Then, he bites into you, sucking your neck, drawing out blood to cause even more pleasure. “Father! Please! No more! If you do, I’ll-“
He moves his fingertips faster. 
You cum and shake, unable to hold yourself back. Suguru laughs and cums as well, holding your ass fast against his hips.
“Ahh I guess we’ll just have to keep going until she proves she is worthy of forgiveness, Father Suguru.” Nanami smiles.
Suguru falls back onto the pillow while Nanami drags you by the waist and down into the bed beside him.
You hang your head low in embarrassment. 
“Why so sad Y/n? We’ve got all night to absolve your sins.” Nanami says as he enters your sopping entrance once more. Suguru lights another cigarette and blows the smoke into your face before kissing you and fondling your breasts.
“Fa-“
“Huh?” He thrusts into you from behind. “Can’t hear you..”
“Father-“ you go weak, your eyes closing tightly as you are overstimulated.
Nanami holds you close, thrusting into your weak body while he chases another high.
“Yeah..sound it out, baby.” He chuckles lowly into your ear.
He bites into your shoulder, not caring just how much blood they’ve taken from you tonight, only caring for the euphoric feeling that comes from it. Blood rushes into his mouth and straight to his dick every time, the ecstatic feeling is just as good..maybe even better than an orgasm.
He moves his fingers onto your clit and you let out a high pitched moan.
You cum again with him, this time ruining the sheets, but he only touches your chin covered in drool. 
“Good girl..”
Suguru drags you back over his lap, “Move pretty girl..don’t disappoint God..again.”
He angles you over his dick and slides you down.
You move up and down onto him despite being so tired you might pass out.
Suguru only drags a smoke and hands it to Nanami as they both watch your tired body bounce, your fucked out face, swollen breasts and neck riddled with bite marks.
“Tell us how good it feels.”
“So good..father.” Your hands run down his chest, caressing the soft bricks under his skin. 
“Is that why you can’t stop cumming like a slut?”
“Yes father.” Your head falls back, you move faster, the building in the pit of your stomach grows.
“Are you gonna cum again for me?”
“Yes father”
“Beg for it.”
“Let me cum with you father!”
“Why?”
“I wish to rid myself of sin with you.” 
He can’t help but laugh.
“Please father, I need you.”
“Of course, Y/n.” He grabs your wrist, sucking hard while still watching your breasts move.
You both climax hard, shaking while still being attached.
You lay down in between them, feeling Suguru’s lips on yours and his fingers inside you, pumping in and out as you squirm from the oversensitivity. 
You try to close your legs but Nanami forces them apart by placing them on the outside of his strong hands. 
“Tell God how good you feel.” Nanami bites into your thigh and sucks as Suguru bites into your neck. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. “So good..” The combination of the two along with Suguru’s long fingers makes you cum so hard you black out.
——
[The Next Morning]
You’re back in your room with your nightgown on.
“What happened..was it real?” You rub your eyes and turn to sit on the edge of your bed.
You feel your body, but don’t feel any bite marks. You don’t feel any difference in your private area either.
“Oh..it was just a dream.” You hang your head low and look to the floor, you then see two feet as someone stands just in front of you. Your head flicks up. “Sister Khadija?” 
She wears her nightgown and displays a sad expression. She was the same one who pointed outside that one night, but you never did see her again.
“I told you..” she points outside the window again. You turn to look, “told me what?”
You turn back to her, but she is gone again.
You get up and look outside the window, trying hard to see what she is pointing to. The cemetery that you always prayed over before going to sleep looked the same as always, except..there was a freshly dug grave.
You run outside and decide to look at the headstones and sure enough, the names of the two Sisters you met are there. 
Nancy and Khadija. 
They've been dead..for 5 years. 
“No..no this can’t be true.”
You stumble back, tripping over a pile of dirt and falling to the ground. When you look at the headstone behind you that the dirt has been dug from, you see your name.
Khadija appears. “Sister Y/n..they killed you, just as they killed us and now you are here forever..” she tears up as she watches you cry.
“No..no that can’t be true, they helped me purify my soul, I am good, I am worthy now.”
She shakes her head. “Sister Y/n..a night with the devil will not absolve you of your sins…you know this..”
You look to the ground.
“But..but why did they-“
“No, Sister, the question is why did you?”
Suguru and Nanami fed on your body until you dried out, leaving you for dead, and now..this is your hell.
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dungeonpuppykai · 2 months
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Based on this mood prompt that @captregina told me to elaborate on. 
Warning(s): Power imbalance, misogynistic husband Steve, spanking, degradation, dumbification, panty sniffing, infantilization. Minors do not interact.  
Pairing: 40's breadwinner wallstreet worker husband!Steve Rogers | Housewife!You.
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"I am sorry" Steve, your lawfully wedded husband, had to do a double take as he put down his work bag that you had refused to accept in your hands. "What was that, honey?" As you huffed and crossed your arms in response before putting one foot out and raising your chin up high, your newfound defiance caused him to raise a puzzled eyebrow at your smaller form. 
"You heard me" you hmphed out your words. 
"No" now it was Steve's turn to cross his massive arms -thanks to your hearty cooking and his knack for working out- across his broad chest as his sky blue eyes began to narrow down at your form. "I don't think I did" his head tilted to the side. It was a sign for you to stop; rethink your actions. "So tell me, dear. What was that, just now?" But you were beyond annoyed with him today. 
You had been for a while.
"Ugh, aren't men supposed to be smart?!" You rolled your eyes that he usually adored with his whole heart. "I said, reheat your own food!" Now his other eyebrow shot up to accompany its companion. 
Your husband had been at it for days and you just could not do it anymore. After you worked so hard all day long so you could spend some quality time with your hardworking husband who either had his nose buried in files or his ear glued to the telephone all day long, the man would show up late and tired at odd hours. Then he would expect you to understand -which you tried your best to but Lord you had needs too!-, reheat and ruin the food you always went the extra mile to prepare, eat with him while listening to him rant about things your domestic mind did not understand, then making him a drink with which he would watch tv and you would clean the kitchen before going to sleep cuddled up only to repeat the same day again! 
Sundays -the only days when he was free- were not much different because he would always have plans with his friends that were getting fancier by the day and though you liked the get togethers, they held no measure to some one on one time with your dear husband! 
Steve's fingers flew to your wrist before wrapping around it to pull you back and towards him when you went to stomp away to the bedroom. "Where do you think you're going?" 
"To bed, obviously!" He was in disbelief when you went to yank yourself free. Good girls didn't turn their backs to their husbands. "Let go, I am done!" You refused to slave for someone who did not care for your requests even after you had communicated your feelings so many times at this point. 
Your husband snorted. "And since when can you decide what happens around here, honey?" 
"I am deciding for myself! You can do whatever you please like you do anyways!" He did not appreciate your tone. 
"Come on, baby" your strength was no match to your husband's so you could not make him budge much. "I know why you're acting out, but I already told you why this is so important for us and our future" he got you to turn around rather easily despite your struggle. "Don't you remember?" Cradling your pretty face in his hands he caressed your cheeks with his thumbs tenderly. "Or has your little brain forgotten that already?" 
You pouted, not in the mood to cooperate. "You can secure your future however you desire, Steve" he was so used to you calling him by affectionate endearments that the use of his name stung like an insult. "But I am done with working hard all day long and staying up past bedtime for nothing!" You had hated chores with a passion before marriage as it was. "Since you're oh-so-big and smart I am sure you can figure out how to reheat your dinner!" 
"Hey now" his eyebrows furrowed as the movement of his thumbs ceased. "Watch that tone, little girl" you were hanging by a thread but you were far too irritated to care. 
"You watch your tone!" Your fingers curled around his to try and pry them off. "And let me GO!" Another huff escaped you as your eyes hit the back of your head to express your annoyance.
"You really wanna do this right now, young lady?" Steve had made it very clear when he was courting you that he did not like any of your sassy little habits.
Talking back, complaining, pouting, huffing, stomping around, disobeying, eye rolling and misbehaving.
"I just wanna go to bed, ugh!" 
"Okay, you did this" your body had been hurled over one of his shoulders within the next second and while it thrashed in his hold, Steve easily walked over to the couch with one protective hand draped over your ass that he was determined to bruise now.
"Ugh– OWIE!" One of your legs kicked in protest and pain when his palm struck your clothed ass cheeks. "Stop, you meanie brute!" Your husband grunted under his breath as he steeled your knees in his hold before draping you over his lap. 
"I should have known" both your cheeks received a spank each in quick succession. "It has been a while since your last maintenance session, hasn't it, baby?" You went to retort with something petty in response but the bratty way in which you started gave him a good idea and so he cut it off with random strikes all over your poor butt. "Aw, honey, of course!" Your backside had already started to sting like hell so when he yanked your panties off before pushing the hem of your dress up to your waist, you couldn't help but whine. "Your little girl brain forgot, didn't it?" The way he caressed your cheeks caused you to gulp for your sake. 
"O- Ow… stop!" But that only made him raise his hand high to finally administer the first of many skin-to-skin spanks to come. 
"Silly girl thinks she can tell her husband to stop" the hits were becoming more frequent by the second, your husband was settling on a rhythm. "Or tell him to do anything, really!" Your ass was blushing already and your pucker blinked up at him with each strike. Steve could not help but bite his lip at the sight but he knew discipline came first. It always did. He could not afford a mouthy brat for a wife. "Such an ungrateful little thing I've here" your hips tried to scurry left and right so Steve placed the elbow of his free hand between your shoulder blades before ceasing the side of your body facing away from his own until you were so sore you caved. 
"I am sorry, oh my God, hubby, I am sorry!" A satisfied smile spread across his handsome features and his chest puffed outwards in pride. 
"I am sorry, I couldn't quite get that over the sound of brat, honey" his palm was still unrelenting as he went about further reddening your sorry butt. "Why don't you try a bit louder and more convincing now?" It was a rule in your household; you had to mean your apologies. 
Your back arched as you whined in frustration, hanging from his legs limp and resigned to your fate. "I am sorry, dear! I really am!" Your moans morphed into wails when he began to target your sit spots every few hits. "I am sorry for– owwwiee!" Your toes curled when a particular smack caught your pucker in it. "... F- For being ungrateful and n- not appreciating my husband's hard work and sacrifices for us and our future babies!" 
"That's right" he made a point of sitting you upright and right on your sore ass. "And why do you think that was?" 
You whimpered submissively as you lowered your head, unable to hold his authoritative gaze in this state. "B- Because my mind i- is too small to understand or remember such things for too long, hubby" reaching for the hand he had used to punish you, your fingers cradled the crimson palm. "But thanks to you sacrificing your hand for my well being after already working so hard all day long, my small brain has had its much needed reminder that you only mean well" looking up briefly to press an appreciative kiss to his cheek, you squeezed his hand. "Thank you for setting me straight, hubby" the most smug smile etched on his face.
"Oh, sweetie, that's completely fine" Steve's tone was tender but it switched up into an intimidating one briefly, "although mind that I did not appreciate it one bit" when you lowered your head further with a snivel, he continued but in a reassuring manner. "But of course, you're just a girl, aren't you?" 
You nodded wordlessly without looking up. 
His hand snaked out of yours to dip between your legs, the blunt action causing you to gasp aloud. "Tsk, look at all this mess, honey" your face became hot in an instant and your teeth pulled your bottom lip between them. "So worked up from your punishment, hm?" His face dipped closer to yours and you couldn't help but mewl shyly as you buried your face in his shoulder. "Is that why you were so frustrated? Because you weren't getting the kind of attention that you needed from hubby?" You nodded. He clicked his tongue. "Does my little girl also need to be reminded of the rule about verbally responding when spoken to, sweetie?" 
Oh, yes.
The house rules. 
Magnetized to the refrigerator.
"N- No, hubby. I- I remember…" Your eyes focused on his tie and you began to loosen it like you were supposed to after receiving his bag when he got home. 
"Good girl" your eyelids fluttered at the way he kissed your cheek, lovingly caressing the inside of your thigh. "So, tell me, honey. Was that so?" 
"I- It was, hubby" now you relieved him of his first few buttons. "J- Just need you so bad all the time… C- Can't think straight without you…" Steve had a shit eating grin on his face at this point. His ego -and something else- was so inflated that he did not even care about chastising you for your much forbidden actions tonight any longer. 
"Go serve hubby his warm dinner and he'll consider" you obediently jumped to your feet in an instant and bustled to the kitchen with such speed that you didn't even remember to take your discarded panties with you. 
Steve nodded to himself as he watched the way you had disappeared, pulling free the rest of his tie knot himself as he stood up with your underwear in his hand. "Now that's about right." With a deep sniff of the moist article, he walked off in the direction of the bedroom to freshen up.
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MASTERLIST
Let me know what you think, feedback is much appreciated <3 
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txtmetonight · 2 months
Text
For Him ✆
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call summary ⋆ ★ Chan is quite puzzling. But you're determined to break his walls.
pairing *. * Bang Chan x Fem! Reader
genre⋆ ★ Fluff, Harry Potter AU
warnings *. Crude language (just one word lol)
call duration⋆ ★ 1.4k
a/n*. * I'm back in my hp phases lol and while I'm doing that, I'm pushing my chan wolf agenda yay
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You suppose you’ve always known about Chan’s mysterious life. And then again, you suppose you always loved him since you were eleven, just as you placed your eyes on him onto the Hogwarts Express. But he is a tricky person to figure out and someone who doesn’t want to be broken down into pieces and given to another to be investigated upon.
Yet he still lets you do so in the very manner as you sit next to him with a full glory on your lips.
You used to wonder why you were the only one that he would let get close, but now as you stare at him with big eyes that hold much adoration, you’ve come to realize how grateful you are.
Chan is puzzling but god he’s a sweetheart when it comes down to it, always a gentleman and always with gentle love beating in his heart for anyone and everyone. Though he reckons that his organ is a little more honeyed for you though, not that he would ever admit it.
For he lives in the shadows of his past and present, and through a fear that he believes in will conjure into reality. And so, he hides a part of himself from you. You despise it very much from the bottom of your heart. You really do. You want to be his but he’s holding himself back and it leaves a bitter taste on your tongue.
The first time you chipped away a little deeper than he wanted to show, was when you were fed up with the white lies that slipped through his teeth.
When he excused his absences for something so abnormal you thought he was mental almost. Every once a month he left you alone with your thoughts over something so trivial or something extreme–just an explanation that made your head spin. So, you had the bright idea to follow him.
Everyone knows of the curfew set in place every night, yet he seemed to have a justification for doing so…why?
Your footsteps were quiet when against the floor and you held your breath, hiding amongst the dark and following the footsteps in the moonlight that shone brightly. It was a full moon.
You’ve known the castle like it was the back of your hand, 3 years since coming and the footsteps you’ve marked were etched in the back of your mind. And you very quickly realized where Chan was going–to the whomping willow. Your lips shivered to cry out to him, to ask him what he was doing but you clap your hands over your mouth when he starts to violently shake against the wind. He collapses. And the clouds reveal the luminous light in the sky.
Before your eyes, his hair shrinks back into his skull, and his body changes. You both see the same things, yet he feels it with pure disgust and embarrassment when his bones grow and rip underneath his skin.
But your perception is different because when he looks into the reflection of the deepest lake and sees a monster staring back at him, you see Chan. Not just a werewolf, but Chan, your lover. And you know that for sure when your nerves tingle with endearment as you stare at him in awe. He’s quite magnificent, you can note when he turns back to escape into the woods.
The second time you cracked it even more was 2 years later when O.W.L’s took over your brain, alongside Chan. Every single night, since that fateful day, you’ve found yourself stalking over the gardens to watch him on the full moon.
But you don’t dare to tell him that; you want him to feel like he has the right to tell you when he has gotten over his fear. Then so, you’ve trained yourself to go blind-eyed every moment except for that night. You suppose you could be selfish.
Chan is lonely. He carries a deep burden in his heart, and it aches to be released, not on its own but in the hands of another where they can sing a lullaby to soothe the pain. And you knew that it was going to be in front of you, but it left a sense of a hole in your heart when you saw him cry. You still sing to him, though.
“Hey Channie, what’s wrong?” You ask, wiping away the peals that streak down his cheeks. His face is flushed red, and he sniffles miserably. He doesn’t say anything, so you move in a little closer to place your hand over his heart, lips just ghosting over fingers at where it lies.
“I feel like, there’s something wrong with me.”
You look up to look at him, but he’s already staring at you with deep fondness in your eyes, you think that you’re going to tear up too. But you don’t. You question instead. “And why is that pretty boy?”
“Oh, I wish you would stop calling me that” He weakly chuckles. “But…I dunno why. I just–just know that there is something wrong with me. Like definite, for sure. And I hate it. It hurts, I suppose. I think it’s puncturing my brain.”
Chan sobs the last word before you grab his jaw and pull him, so your forehead gently tapped against his. Both pairs of eyes close and you realize how much your love runs deep for him. Again, where he feels nothing is where you’re encased in everything for him. For him.
The 3rd time is now, just after a year. You think. You hope his stone wall will shatter soon to let you in.
When the night is young, and the moon rises, you watch with curious intent as Chan drinks out of a gauntlet and shivers with grimace before the potion's professor with great urgency pushes him towards the hills that envelop around the school.
You follow him and it brings you great Deja vu that wraps around your stomach. Yet this time, rather than just breaking the mere school rules, you’re breaking the law by becoming an unregistered Animagus. Perhaps you’re a dunderhead, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. You want to keep him company.
When the willow ceases its chaos, you slip past the hole near the trunk. Howls and whimpers echo but you don’t pay any attention. The shrieking shack is known for its ghostly activities but not for the true trauma that happens within the wooden boards. How Chan is in great pain because he is in love with someone whom he can’t have. Just because of himself and who he truly is; a bloodthirsty creature.
Yet he’s truly Chan when you strut your way into the broken-down living room, It’s truly Chan when he doesn’t attack you, and he growls against the moonlight. And it truly Chan when nudges you with his nose for a sense of doting that he craves.
You give it to him and lie on the floor, where he joins you. Your ear is near his pulse, and you feel it thrum alive against you, beating harder and harder. The thick wall is about to crumble, you reckon.
When it comes time for dawn to rise, Chan is Chan again, so you painfully twist back into who you are. Where the hardwood floor lies, instead is your boy, who scoops you on top of him. His eyes are glistening with tears and his lips quiver. Your fingers begin to tangle themselves into curls, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. Neither of you have tried to get up yet.
“How long have you known?”
“Since 3rd year. You’re very handsome has anyone told you that?”
He turns pink but shakes his head no. You kiss him once more.
“Turning into an animagus…why would you do that for me. Go through all the trouble. You don’t have to.” He speaks. He starts to cry now.
As for his question, you decide that you don’t have anything else to offer but the truth. “I love you, Channie.”
He scoffs, “Am I not a monster? I could tear you…you apart if I got too out of control. I’m sick in the head and outside of it, do you not understand? You deserve better.”
You tug at his hair which results in a wince, but you move up closer to his lips, just where they hover above them. His breathing stills and he thinks that you’re a complete stunner in his eyes. You think the same if not more.
“And who is to say that except for myself. You’re not a monster, you’re just Chan who can’t eat spicy food. And I’m (Y/n) who’s been in love with you since the very fucking beginning.”
And then you kiss him hard, expressing unsaid emotions into that kiss, starting to tear up when he reciprocates, his fingers gripping your waist making you feel dizzy. When you two pull apart, Chan chuckles as he wipes away a stray tear.
“You’re so beautiful it hurts me. I love you too.”
You’ve completely broken in.
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un-lawliet · 9 months
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“Present.”
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— in which Dazai wants to kiss you
part two here <3
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“Osamu…”
Dazai lifted his gaze, his eyes narrowing at your figure.
It was cold.
The Summer, having prolonged its stay, pliantly welcomed the first cool breeze of Autumn, inviting the ember shafts of the moon a little earlier, cutting the day shorter and introducing the night before the clock struck nine.
And Yokohama appeared to come alive at night.
The streets bustled with crowds, lively and impeached with an alacrity one would expect to see when the sun was much, much higher in the sky.
Dazai found himself outside the Lupin Bar, leaving a half empty glass of sake idle on the cracked confines of the bar top, the crisp air steadying his somewhat dizzy state, un-fogging his senses and clearing his head.
Leaning against the bar wall, his hands in his pockets, an indiscernible look in his eyes as he watched the ever moving city around him.
It was moments like this when you knew his mind was elsewhere, reminiscing over memories in which you did not know, memories that left you except and puzzling over the glimmer of recognition in the depths of his eye.
Breaking his trance he regarded you with quiet solidarity, as if debating weither or not he should throw up his defences or continue to stare, an eyebrow raised in subdued acknowledgment of your appearance.
He didn’t seem shocked at your return, having been on a mission at the other side of Yokohama for a few days, you feel a sickly indulgence of disappointment in his lack of reaction, your shoulders dropping as you approach him slowly.
He probably knew of your return, he has a habit of knowing seemingly every action and it’s equal reaction before they are even taken, it’s a habit that leaves you uneasy at best, and terrified at worst.
Sighing, you join him against the Bar, leaning your head back against the bumpy surface of the wall.
He looks at you for a moment longer, and it’s as if you can feel him back away, creating an insurmountable distance between the pair of you.
In reality, you know he does not move, but at the sight of an ill placed smile stretching his face, you have never felt so immeasurably far from him.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He grins, and it’s ugly for a man so devastatingly beautiful in your eyes, you hold back a grimace.
“I’m back.” You say simply, unable to look at him anymore, the footpath suddenly becoming the most interesting thing you’d ever seen before.
A street lamp flickers, the light momentarily dies leaving the pair of you in the dark for a split second before the light returns, Dazai glances upwards to look at it, you don’t even notice.
You don’t know why you even sought him out, your feet seeming to move on their own after Kunikida grumbled that Dazai had headed to Lupin’s Bar just after his shift at the agency.
You have a gift for him from your mission, you tell yourself, attempting to justify your foolish actions, ignoring the voice in your head that reminds you that you would have seen Dazai at the agency at some point the following day.
“You’re back.” He mimics, and he’s back to looking at you again, trying to understand your actions, trying to comprehend why you were currently standing outside in the cold, cold night with him.
“The mission was successful then I suppose?” His smile seemed less indulgent now, and if you were to look up you would surely notice how his body swayed slightly, a testimony to the tipsy feeling resonating in his chest.
You don’t however, your eyes staying downcast as you nod; mumbling about how it was more boring that anything, you hear him laugh at your admission, you hate how empty it sounded.
“Is everyone at the agency ok?” You ponder, clinging to the tail ends of a conversation you were slowly losing.
“You didn’t visit them before you came to see me?” Dazai questions an undeniable tease in his voice, you feel yourself flush.
“I did, it’s how I-” Found out you were here.
The words die on your tongue, refusing to go into detail of how you actively asked for his whereabouts about five minutes into your return.
“Hm?” Dazai coaxes you, although you’re certain he knew what you were about to confess.
“Nothing.” You mumble, your hands clammy, “I uh did, but I only saw Kunikida and Yosano so..” You trail off.
“Ah” He muses.
And in the back of his mind, he wonders if you were simply here because you felt like it, that you had no alterier motives, internally frowning at himself for his suspicions despite knowing you were part of the ADA, critiquing himself silently for falling into old habits that should have died when he left the mafia.
He supposes that maybe you just wanted to see him.
The breeze falls over you both and he’s moving to leave, you look at him again, your head cocked, holding yourself back from questioning, restraining yourself from clinging onto his hand and begging to follow him, indulging yourself in the warmth of other human.
The bar door opens, and for a brief moment you hear the drunken giggles and exclamations of careless patrons, before the door swings shut again, muffling the voices. It grounds you.
Dazai takes a few steps and then turns to face you, his face unreadable, before he tilts his head gesturing for you to follow him, you think your heart soars.
“You coming?”
And you’re pushing yourself away from the wall, nodding.
He doesn’t wait for you to catch up, and you find yourself walking at a pace slightly behind him, your hand subconsciously tracing the box in your pocket.
You wonder if you should give him his gift now, or if you should wait.
When you can’t decided you stay silent, choosing to speed up to level the distance between you both.
You have no idea where you’re going, simply following a man who’s actions you couldn’t begin to understand. He makes no effort to inform you of the destination and so you make no effort to ask.
Dazai likes to think when he walks, constantly scheming, devising ways in which he could encourage Atshushi to grow, or better yet, another way to end his life, and fail, over and over again.
A bitter cycle that infringes upon his thoughts like a bullet.
Tonight however, his thoughts circle back to you, and your silence, and how your face seems to glow in the dim light of the night. And he blames the alcohol that’s coursing through his blood, the last of his drink finally hitting him as he walks, dizzying him and rendering him in a state of concealed vulnerability.
“So.” His voice comes out steady, despite his tendency to slur his sentences when under the influence.
You look at him, gently urging him to continue.
“You’re hiding something.” He states, and you curse him for his intellect and damn observation.
You grip your coat tighter, eyeing the bulge in your pocket, defeat already coaxing you to reveal your intentions.
“I suppose.” You whisper, concluding to yourself that there was really no reason to hide the present from him, after all it was just a gift shared between two work colleagues, there was no need to plaster it with a hidden agenda.
Reaching into your pocket you timidly lift it out, his gift was wrapped, just like everyone’s gift from the agency, a pretty ribbon tying it all together in a clumsy bow. You feel foolish.
“I brought you something from my mission.” You explain, your eyes trained on his face.
And Dazai pauses, his steps slowing to a stop as he stares at the box in your hand, and you scramble to explain yourself, eyes wide.
“I-I got everyone from the agency something!” You stammered, “I just…wanted to give it to you.”
He doesn’t move for a second, his eyes moving between your flustered face and the present.
A car drives past, it’s headlights cause you to blink.
“Do you plan on giving them their presents in such an intimate manner as well?” His voice was softer, as if he himself is unsure of your answer.
His question makes you freeze, feeling as if you were caught in your own actions.
You whisper a tiny “No” and Dazai just nods.
And you hate how you don’t understand.
His hand brushes yours as he picks up the box, his hands are cold, you try not to shiver under his calculating gaze.
“You don’t have to open it now.” You mumble, willing yourself to look him in his eye.
Truthfully you hope he doesn’t open it in front of you, unable to cope with the silent weight of the consequences to your actions.
Dazai finally breaks eye contact to look at the bow, his finger going up to play with the flimsy material.
You brought him something, you had thought of him. Dazai, was unable to fathom how you could be so pure and act so well intentioned to someone with his past.
Did you not believe him to cruel? A man desperately trying to patch over his history with the excuse that he had changed. Changed from the eighteen year old who’s presence struck fear in those unfortunate enough to know his name. Who’s presence alone caused the death of the only person who-
Bitterly, he reminds himself that you had thought of everyone at the ADA.
Without a word he pockets the gift, that same ugly smile rippling his features yet again.
“How kind of you to think of me!” He exclaims, his voice far too loud for the quietness of the gesture, clapping his hands together in an enthusiastic display of himself.
The distance between the pair of you stretched for miles and you shake your head.
“I think about you plenty.” Your voice is hushed, edging on exasperated, because (although you would rather die than describe your complicated feelings for Osamu Dazai out-loud) you don’t appreciate being pushed away.
The moon appears to hide behind the clouds, leaving the street lights to fend for themselves. Their glow emphasising your features as he looks at you.
And Dazai wants to kiss you.
It’s a desire that materialises amidst the acutely awkward silence that follows your admission, it breathes down his neck and forces him to lose any and all words that might escape his lips.
He smiles, a bandaged hand reaching up to cup your cheek, your eyes squint; confusion, admiration and need seeping out from their sockets and onto your face, and Dazai, for once, is grateful for his ability to read people, to read you.
He wants to kiss you, but he doesn’t.
You lean into his hand as his thumb gently draws circles across the area just below your eye, your lips part, a question you will never ask bubbling in your throat.
The pair of you look at each-other for another brief moment before Dazai removes his hand from you and turns, hiding his expression.
“You’re cold.” He states, starting to walk, “You should go home.”
And you watch him go, your feet refusing to move, body overcome with a melancholy you only ever seem to experience around Dazai.
The moon peaks out from behind the clouds again, as if to ask if you’re ok. Illuminating both you and your surroundings like a blanket.
And you feel exhausted.
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masterlist <3 or part 2 here :)
feel free to leave a request !
A/N: this was supposed to be fluff idk what happened- i think i started thinking of chapter in 109 half way through, i’m sorry ANYWAY hi bsd fandom ily ily ily and thank you for reading !!!
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mouschiwrites · 7 months
Text
Creepypasta/MH - Doing Halloween Stuff With Them :)
(Characters: Tim/Masky, Eyeless Jack, Jeff the Killer, Nina the Killer, Jane the Killer, Ticci Toby)
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Tim/Masky
Hear me out... corn maze
I believe that Tim enjoys a good puzzle every now and again
He loves trying to figure things out (specifically when there's nothing at risk)
Getting to show off his navigational skills is also a major plus
He just likes to impress you, even if it comes off as annoying sometimes
"See? What'd I tell you? The exit's right there."
Though he does like the satisfaction of completing the maze, what he really treasures is that time you spend together figuring it out
Once you finally find the exit, you'll celebrate with hot cocoa :D
Eyeless Jack
This man LOVES carving pumpkins
He goes all out; definitely one of those people who makes the crazy intricate designs that look like they take hours
He'll love it if you help him!
If you have a steady hand, he'll let you do the details
If you don't, he'll task you with gutting the pumpkin/handing him tools
You guys collaborate on multiple pumpkins throughout the month, setting them in random locations for everyone to see
If there's a design you want to do, just show it to him, there's no question he'll be down
If it's too simplistic, he'll try to add more details
"Ooh, Jack, look at this one. Can we try to re-create it?"
"Of course! Though I do have some ideas on how it can be improved..."
Jeff the Killer
Another pumpkin carving enjoyer
But for a different reason... a very different reason
He loves the goriness of gutting the pumpkins
He couldn't care less about making actual designs, he just wants to get messy stabbing the pumpkin and gouging out its insides
That being said, he'll 100% gut your pumpkin if you ask him (he'll probably end up doing it even if you don't ask)
It's honestly a little disturbing watching him work
He just gets this look in his eye...
"You, uh... you doing okay there, Jeff?"
"Hm? Yup! Never better!! Say, can you grab the big knife from the kitchen for me?"
Nina the Killer
You best bet she's the costume queen
Spends the whole year planning matching horror-themed costumes
She'll settle for no less than creativity and perfection
High-quality props and articles only!! She'll even make them herself if she has to!
You can expect to spend at least an hour in front of the mirror while she does your makeup/adjusts your clothes
She's an SFX makeup legend, loves incorporating as much gore into your costume as possible
Don't ask why it's so realistic (it's not like she knows how the wound would look if it was real or anything)
"Wow, Nina... It's almost like I can feel it! It's so real!"
"No, no. If you were feeling it, you would be screaming pretty loud right now."
You can also expect to attend multiple parties where you show off your costumes
You guys dominate costume competitions
Jane the Killer
Horror movies!!
Specifically, making fun of them
You both pick apart the plot, the characters, the dialogue, the special effects, everything
No horror film is safe from your scrutiny
If you're the type to get scared during horror movies, her snide comments will help distract you
"Ooh, I can't look!"
"Oh, come on. Look—I bet they used corn syrup for that fake blood. It's way too thick."
When the movie ends, you're both feeling more amused than scared
She doesn't like to see horror films in theaters because she doesn't get to make commentary, plus she doesn't want to "waste" money on a "stupid tryhard-horror flick"
She'd much rather dig up some old indie DVD/VCR and have a home movie night with you
Ticci Toby
Halloween sweets are his bread and butter
Candy apples, fun-sized candy bars, candy corn, pumpkin bread...
He would perish if you made anything homemade for him
Spends the whole month gorging on sweets almost as fast as he can get his hands on them
He will not share with anyone but you
And even you only get a small portion of his goodies
Robs at least one child on Halloween night, mostly for the candy but also because he likes scaring little kids
"Where did you get all that candy?"
"Got it from a little birdy. By that I mean a kid in Falcon cosplay."
"Toby! ... save me the (favorite candy)."
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Thank you for reading! Have a good day/night my spooky pookies <33
(divider by saradika)
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siriusleee · 6 months
Note
what about amnesia au with price? :o
send me a character and an au and I'll write the first scene that comes to mind
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Everything was spread across the house when John got home. Like following a trail of the life the two of you had together, he picked his way gingerly over pictures and trinkets. Movie stubs, your first house key, a shirt from a Rugby match the two of you had attended once even though neither of you liked rugby.
All spread out across the living room floor in intervals. John knows you’re in the bedroom - the living room television is turned up loud enough that you can hear it from bed - the same way you’ve had it every day he’s come home since you were able to get out of the hospital.
It had been a little cold. At first, just something picked up at work, just enough to keep you home for a day. And then two. And on the third day, John found you collapsed in the kitchen, skin so hot he thought you were catching fire beneath his hands. The doctors had whispered to him outside your room that there could be changes - a fever that high was enough to eat straight to your core if had the chance.
Everything was subtle - a first, at least those first few days home from the hospital. You blamed the stress on not remembering where your favorite cup was tucked away in the cupboard, being ill for forgetting John’s phone number when the cashier asked for it. But something had eaten its way through you - John could tell by the way you stared at him across the dinner table like he was a puzzle piece that didn’t fit quite right in the slot it was supposed to. You cried more coming home from work, something you had never done before.
And John could hear you crying again through the bedroom door. But this? This was different. Different than the frustrated sobs you let out in the bathroom when you got home, different than the way you cried the night he tried to touch you, and you were so startled by the way his hand felt against your side that he hadn’t tried since.
This is wild, and raw and you don’t stop when John shoulders the door open gently. You don’t stop when he crouches down beside you, eyebrows knitted together in confusion at the bundle of white fabric in your lap. Confusion that’s cleared when he sees the pictures spread out in front of you and recognizes the lace of your wedding dress.
“What’s wrong love?”
“I can’t-” You can hardly speak through the tears, through the unbridled panic that’s starting to rise in you. “I can’t remember it!”
John’s hand finds your hair, pushing it back from your face as he pries the white lace and pictures from your hand, pulling you into him until your clutching at his shirt still dirty from work. 
“What can’t you remember love?”
His question causes you to wail harder, and his response is to hold you tighter until you can finally speak, never pulling your face away from his shirt.
“Sometimes I look at you and for a second I don’t know who you are.”
It’s a knife to John’s chest, but he doesn’t say anything, instead just shifting so that you’re between his legs, hiding his face from your view.
“I was trying to remember our wedding - trying to figure out if this was real.”
John’s hands tighten; he breathes in the scent of you he’s become too used to after all the years.
“Of course it’s real.”
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joesheistyy · 1 year
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nobody gets me
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first off can we talk about how hot this pic is??????? anyway, I've literally not stopped listening to SOS by SZA and I had this idea a while ago so its time to give it a go !!
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The Bengals were in Baltimore for a football game. They had been gone for a few days already. Unfortunately, Joe left for the game on not so great terms with you. Everything had been building up over the last few weeks between his injuries, your family issues, his mental block, and you feeling lonely when he was gone.
It was hard having Joe gone and barely hearing from him. You knew space was good, but you couldn’t help but fear for the worst. As game day rolled around, you made sure to text him encouraging messages, I love yous, and so much more. The most you’d get in response would be a love reaction to a message or a love you back. 
Although Joe wasn’t talking to you much, you had reached out to Sam and Ja’marr to see if Joe was acting like he usually does. With them being close with Joe, you figured they’d be able to notice if he was off. They weren’t able to tell you much. Joe didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve like you did. 
After a good win against the Ravens, you had hoped Joe would be in a better mood when he got home. All your thoughts had been eating you up inside about how he might act or what he might say when he arrived home. 
You took time to occupy yourself in the kitchen until Joe’s arrival home. You decided to clean out the fridge, knowing that task was way overdue. You had lit your favorite Bath and Body Works candle and some other small ones, wanting to avoid turning on the big light. Your speaker was playing SZA’s album SOS. As you continued to empty out the old produce, you heard the garage door open. Your heart sunk a little bit, nerves beginning to engulf your body and mind. Joe was sometimes unpredictable, and this was certainly one of those times.
He walked in through the connecting door from the garage to the kitchen, making sure to shut it loud enough in case you weren’t close by. The fridge door was blocking his view of you. 
“Hi, y/n,” he said, causing your attention to leave the fridge and go straight to gauge Joe’s attitude. He didn’t seem as bad as you had expected, but that could always change. 
“Hi, Joey. How was your trip?” you asked hesitantly, hoping for a good response. 
“It was alright, I just wish you went with us. It would’ve been more fun with you there,” he said as he walked away to go drop off his bag in the bedroom. This puzzled you for many reasons, but mainly because of the lack of communication while he was gone. 
You continued your work in the kitchen. It wasn’t in the best state, and it certainly reflected your mental state while Joe was gone. Hearing the shower start, you worked to load the dishwasher and hand wash your special dishes. 
Joe came down after his shower in gym shorts and with no shirt on. You didn’t notice his arrival until you heard the fridge door open, objects falling all over the floor. With all the emotions that built up over the past few days, that was what sent you over the edge. Joe groaned as he saw the contents of the fridge on the floor. 
“I’ll get it Joe, it’s my fault,” you sniffled, trying to hide the fact that this accident is what send you over the edge. 
“Hey hey hey, why are you crying?” Joe snapped out of his irritated state, immediately tending to you.
“I don’t know Joe. Everything has just been building up for God knows how long and,” you gasped for air as Joe pulled you into a hug. 
“Baby, take a deep breath. Everything is okay,” he reassured you, rubbing your back. You continued to cry into his chest. He rested his head on the top of your head, laying a delicate kiss to your hair. 
“Joe I just can’t handle much anymore. I don’t wanna lose you,” you sobbed. Joe was slightly shocked at what you said, he didn’t think things had gotten to that point. 
“Y/n, why would you think that I’d leave you?” He questioned, lifting your chin up to look at him. 
“I just feel like things haven’t been the same lately,” you said, trying to see his face through your tears.
“No matter what happens y/n, I’m not leaving you. You’re the most important thing to me,” Joe said, pulling you back into a hug, this time holding your head tight to his chest. He knew you probably just needed to cry it out, life had been difficult for the both of you lately. Joe hated to see you cry, but he was grateful that it was in his company. He knew you hated to cry alone because it was so difficult to stop. 
“I just feel like no one understands me the way you do and not talking to you for so long was hard and when you left and we were mad at each other I thought it was the end,” you rambled on, still in an obviously panicked voice. Joe just hugged you harder, breathing in the smell of your shampoo. 
The speaker was still playing music, and the song Nobody Gets Me came on. Talk about timing.
Joe held you close and tight to him, his chest absorbing your tears that hesitated to fall as time went on. Your arms wrapped around his back while his arms were wrapped around your waist, his head still resting on top of yours. Talking had stopped as the song continued on. Your panicked breathing slowed as the two of you swayed back and forth to the song. 
Joe would periodically rub your back and lay a kiss on the top of your head. You continued to take deep breaths while your head rested on his chest. The smell of his body wash slowing calming you. The song faded but the two of you held your embrace strong. The candle light soothed your eyes as they restored to their normal vision, Joe brushing some of your hair behind your ear. 
“Everything is okay baby, we’re fine. I promise I won’t leave you in the dust like that again. I’m sorry I put you through that,” Joe apologized, leaning to kiss your forehead. 
“I just feel like nobody gets me like you do. Promise we’re okay?” you asked, pulling an arm away from his back to extend your pinky to his in search of a pinky promise. 
“I promise y/n. Everything will be okay,” Joe wrapped your small pinky in his long one, then quickly pulled you into another hug. “Nobody gets me like you,” he whispered into your hair, laying another kiss on your head. 
The embrace in the kitchen seemed to last for 20 minutes. But that was exactly what you both needed. 
----
see I used to have ideas for this and they all disappeared when I wanted to write this urghhhhh anyway I hope y'all still enjoyed some of it <3
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lw6-woso · 11 months
Text
Struggles (Barca Femeni x reader)
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(gif is not mine)
Y/N L/N.
everyone knows your name.
the unstoppable 18 year old striker for both barcelona and England who was able to make young girls believe they can achieve anything at a young age. from winning the euros in 2022 including winning the young player of the tournament and the golden boot with scoring in every game you played in with England. and even more unbelievable when playing for Barcelona.
everyone knew and loved you it was hard not to, however you was a very private individual nobody anything about you really not even your team mates new much about her even though you have been playing along side them since the age of 16.
you had your little perks about yourself that make people think with how you played, your reactions to certain things and finally your habits of getting destracted when doing media fidgeting with your hair or fingers. they easily picked up on if people really anaysed your behaviour and the more that they looked and observe it all came together like a little puzzle piece,
you struggled massively deep down and the barca girls finally figured it out.
it was a normal day for the barca squad with it being a match day the only thing was that they were laying Real Madrid the teams rival everyone knew that whether you are in the academy, womens or men's team real madris were the biggest rivals. the team had made it to camp nou and they were sat in the changing rooms dancing and singing to music except one person you.
she was sat in her cub that was next to Alexias looking at the floor zoned out completely, the only people who noticed was Jenni and Alexia. they looked at each other from across the room confused, you never acted this way except when you had become ill with the flu but that had happened once you never get sick like EVER.
Alexia took it upon her self to drag you by the hand out of the changing room and into a deserted physio room that hadn't been used in year and was now a storage room. she moved you so you were sat on a seat and she asked
"hey are you okay you dont seem yourself"
"yeah i mean i havent been sleeping much must be coming down with something" i said quietly, after you had said that Jenni had walked in slamming the door louder than she had expected to making you jump out of your skin.
"hey chica"she said sitting next to me.
"im fine you guys dont have to worry" i said.
"no we are not doing this not today so your going to tell us what is wrong or ill bench you" Alexia said sternly.
Ale and jenni where your team mums ever since you arrive in barca they took you under they wings and protected you like there own, so they new everything and that included your little secret that you were hiding from the world, the fact that you had ADHD and had a long history of battling depression.
this came with a lot of issues with not just your career and education but everything in your life especially when it gets bad, and today you had a bad day, everyone has bad days and today was a bad day.
"im having a bad day i forgot that i had ran out of my ADHD medication and i have renewed it yet and my mind wont stop i just want to sleep" you said tears coming to your eyes clearing overwhelmed.
"hey hey its okay im going to go talk to jonaton okay see do youv feel up to playing today" jenni said.
"yes and no i dont know" you said confused and annoyed and jenni nodded and left to go see jonaton.
"come on lets get changed get some water and get warmed up see how you feel you might be a super sub today" Ale said hugging you.
"Ale," you asked.
"yeah" she asked.
"i want to tell everyone" you said.
"what the girls" she asked.
"yeah and the rest of the world i think it'll be good you know to tell my story my battle," you said.
"you never fail to amaze me you know that i think it's a great idea," she said and we walked into the changing rooms.
In that game it was decided for you not to play for your own well-being and you understood, you watched from the sideline watching your idles and your family thrash Real Madrid beating them 6-0.
everyone was on a high celebrating and you decided to do it then and there.
"guys," you said and the girls instantly stopped to listen.
"I thought you all deserved to know this I wanted to share that well I don't know how to say this but I have ADHD and I have suffered from depression it likes to creep back up in my life a lot and I want your help to raise awareness and help tell stories about mental health within the game I want to tell my story," they said and they all gave me small smiles, not smiles of sympathy but smiles of proudness and inspiration.
they all clapped and hugged me having a large group hug. and this is only the start of the long way to sharing everyone's stories within the wonderful game of football and the dark side that comes with it.
*3 months later*
i was sitting in a studio on my own cameras recording ready to tell me story one story out of the many stories that were going to be said, i had reached out to many big names in the footballing community and they were happy and ready to tell their story and help.
"Hi, I am Y/N and this is my story," you said.
"hi I am Alexia Putellas and this is my story"
"hi I am Leah Williamson and this is my story"
"hi im Viviane Miedema and this is my story"
"hi im Alex morgan and this is my story"
"hi my name is Ellen White and this is my story"
"hello im mason mount and this is my story"
"I'm Ian Wright and this is my story"
"everyone in the entire world has a voice no matter who you are or how you are struggling never be afraid to reach out you are not alone you will never be alone reach out, help others, and get help for yourself. your story matters just like all of ours we are no different from you everyone struggles some different from others you all have your story and that story and how you overcame your dark times could save someone else," you said.
the camera turned off and the screen turned black.
A/N-this was my first fic so please feedback would be appreciated the good and the bad :)
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suzukiblu · 6 months
Note
I just read the maws bonding ficlets from the start. It’s so cute. Just immediate child acceptance. Clark is going “so I’m a dad now” no questions asked.
no questions only dad.
“I like the name,” Superboy mumbles into his chest, just barely shy about it. Conner mumbles into his chest. Clark feels an overwhelming warmth in his own thrumming heart and smiles helplessly, then gives Lois the soft, besotted look he can’t hold back. They have a baby. It’s so great. Conner is so great. He and Lois have a baby and he's great!
Lois turns very red, for some reason, then straightens up and shoves her phone back in her pocket as she clears her throat. 
“Conner James Lane-Kent,” she decides firmly, putting her hands on her hips. “I’d say ‘Olsen’ for the middle name but ‘James’ we can sell as a coincidence easier when we’re figuring out how to explain . . . literally all of this. Any of this. This is going to be very difficult to explain, actually, given the fact you two are functionally identical. Hm. Yeah, the cover’s gonna require some work.” 
“We’ll figure something out,” Clark hums unconcernedly, nuzzling Conner’s hair. Conner bites him, then jumps up and wraps himself around him like a supernaturally strong koala. Clark rumbles happily–his kid likes him!–and Conner starts purring just as happily. Clark feels even warmer. 
“. . . also you two can never do that out of costume,” Lois says. “Like, ever.” 
“Hm?” Clark glances back at her, a little puzzled. “Why not?” 
“Clark,” Lois says, staring at him. “The sounds you two are making right now sound like if a mantis shrimp was trying to explain color theory. Those aren’t even sounds, I’m pretty sure, our senses just don’t know how else to translate them.” 
“I think my fillings are buzzing,” Jimmy agrees thoughtfully, poking at his own cheek. “Feels kinda weird.” 
“But Conner’s so cute when he purrs,” Clark says, trying not to pout at the idea of telling his kid he can’t purr whenever he wants to. Conner purrs louder and bites him again. It’s the most adorable thing that’s ever happened in the entire history of the universe. In the entire history of any universe. Like, all those alternate realities they saw only wish that anything that adorable had ever happened to them.
“That sounds like purring to you?!” Lois asks incredulously. 
“Yes,” Clark says, a little puzzled. “Why, what does it sound like to you?” 
“A rockslide causing a ten-car pile-up,” Lois says frankly. 
“And you sound like somebody made a pack of tigers fight a whale,” Jimmy says. 
“I don’t think tigers do packs,” Clark says, frowning consideringly and hooking Conner into a headlock as the other tries to claw his face off in the cutest possible fashion. “Do they?” 
“I don’t think so, but lions’ roars aren’t as bone-jarring and viscerally terrifying to hear up close as tigers’,” Jimmy says. “So I went with the scarier one.” 
“Pa’s not scary!” Conner protests indignantly, scowling at Jimmy, and Clark feels warm all over again and hugs him harder. Well–tightens the headlock, anyway. Same difference. He really was so worried about being a weapon, being something dangerous, being . . . 
He can’t imagine ever worrying about that again, when Metropolis turned its lights off for him and Lois and Jimmy both trust him even knowing what he’s become in other realities and Conner knew it was safe to come and find him. 
And when he’s looking at Conner, he can’t feel like any kind of a “weapon” at all. 
No. Not even a little bit. 
“Clark’s not scary, no, but the sound of a pack of tigers fighting a whale is,” Jimmy says. “The rockslide and ten-car pile-up is a little unsettling too, to be honest. Like, much less so, but it’s still on the radar there.” 
“No it’s not, it’s precious,” Clark says, then starts preening Conner’s ruffled curls into some semblance of order again. Well . . . a vague impression of it, anyway. Maybe. Kind of. 
A bit. 
. . . possibly that’s a fool’s errand, but whatever. He’s willing to put the effort in for his kid, fool’s errand or not.
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heartfullofleeches · 1 year
Text
Rubik Dice
Yandere Entity (Entities?) Blurb
An: In a vent of frustration with a rubix cube - I present this. [Brief mentions of death]
-
Six people to a room.
It's too many.
Between damped sobs and their own; and the feud in their head, they couldn't think let alone say their piece. How did this happen? How could they make such a careless mistake? It was just supposed to be an evening stroll. It had been a week since they'd been out. The longest they'd ever been put away. Being cramped under so long they had to get some fresh air or risk clawing out their throat for a clean breath. It's so cramped in their head, in this room. Six people is far too many to be alone with unless the last person is....
"Nice job, idiot. We're in enough trouble as it is - now what are we going to do?."
It was an accident.
"Don't be so mean! We all have our lapses in judgement sometimes.... Even if they are kidnapping not-so-random strangers off the street."
Didn't you tell me to do it?
"Haha- You really fucked up tonight, didn't you?.. He saw your face. No choice, but to kill him less you never want to be seen in public again? All I'm sayin' is my blades should still be in the bag."
We can't kill any more people. Why are you always like this? Please, can't we just -
"Leave this to a roll of the dice?"
Indecisive on topics ranging from daily meals to torture methods; the trio concluded their shared consciousness to one, unified:
"No."
"Take out that dice and I'm breaking your fingers. Why do we always have to be responsible for your fuck ups?"
"Such a coward. You can crack a brick over someone's skull to shut them up, but you can't stab a knife through their neck to silence them?"
"You know, someone has been reeeeeally quiet since we got back home. We all know what that means."
Ragged breathing stills in the face of its captor. The rambling maniac themselves has quieted to nothing more than a stagnant shell. They both know what's to happen next. There's only one way out of this now. He can beg all he wants, but he'll tell. Even if they believe him the others won't. Neighbors. The police. You. Everything always came back to you. Mistakes, failures, hopes. You'd hate them - all of them - if you knew what took place in this basement. You'd never want to see any of them again.
"Maybe we should let him go... They're pretty hot when they're mad. I'm sure they'd forgive us eventually."
"Quiet."
It's quiet now. How soon the commotion ends when that side of them says their part. Their voice doesn't like nails on a chalkboard. So sweet it makes teeth rot. It isn't authoritative enough to make those who heard Trimble in their wake nor is it meek and pathetic enough for a second listen. It was the amalgam of those voices - the best pairs.
"Now, Blu. You know we can't do things alone that we haven't discussed with everyone else before hand. Would you please let me out so I can take care of our little problem?"
"...ok."
Trembling hands retrieve the fist-sized cube from its pocket; chipped nails slid into the crevice separating the second and third row of squares. Why were they the one that had to solve it? These puzzles were always so hard despite the countless times they've done it - teary eyes aiding little to their cause. It becomes easier once they slide the third white cube into row. Their eyesight and mental slate become clear, cheeks dry and devoid of the faded acne scars that plagued them. They step towards their captive who was busy squirming away from the figure now five inches taller and missing the hunch in their posture that left them wondering how they had managed to drag them here in the beginning. Gaze piercing and laser focus as opposed to cowering from each sniffle. With those pure white eyes it's impossible to tell where they're looking, but the threat of being the target of their glance was petrifying alone. They were blue not even a minute ago. It was like they were a different person entirely - body and soul.
A dice falls to their victim's feet.
"Six.... You were fortune this time."
Another object grabbed from their robes. A single line drawn across their neck - and it's back to five.
"I knew you had that on you...."
"Awww, what the hell - over already? Should've made them beg or at least give us their address."
"May they have a peace rest.... Is what I would say if it were someone else, haha!"
"I think I'm gonna be sick..."
The figure pockets their weapon and stands with a stretch, stepping away from the growing pool of blood. "That was messier than expected. What should we do now?"
"Clean up this mess."
"Check Y/n's page."
"Send them flowers!"
"And this guy's heart in a chocolate box."
"All good ideas. Why don't we do them all?... Besides that last one."
Five people to a room.
As it always should be - until you come home.
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