Joyce: Will you share your ETA once you get in the car?

Chloe: Why? Can't I just text you?

Joyce: I've literally seen you text "on my way" from bed so, no, you've lost that privilege.

me: lay on a sofa, watching pics of Gwendoline Christie on Pinterest.

dad (sit next to me, scrolling news): "what does crush means?"

me: 👀👀👀👀👀*blushing*

It's almost time for Zack and Cody's reservation at the Italian restaurant

The internet on 16/11/2023:

Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread

Always the writer, never the reader.

"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Not to brag, but I worked really hard, planned ahead in excruciating detail, and still got absolutely fucking demolished by a statistically improbable happenstance, so.

No big deal.

Sean: Do you speak any Spanish?

Finn: Yeah. I know a little.

Sean: ¿Cómo te llamas? (What's your name?)

Finn: Bien. ¿Y tú? (Good. And you?)

-Rumi

My grandmother is Japanese and really likes to give gifts. Often those gifts are Japanese desserts or other food, but sometimes she just slips me cash, folded up inside a tiny, beautiful envelope. But she likes to pretend she's not giving me money, so when possible, she'll hide it somewhere that I will find later.

Today I spent the afternoon with her doing chores and tech support, and she clearly felt this warranted a significant gift in return (no matter that I enjoyed myself). But she forgot to slip something into my pocket or bag before I left, so instead she rushed outside as I was starting my car, making the old-school "roll down the window" gesture. Once I complied, she was forced to acknowledge she was handing me money, but she also tried to minimize the gesture.

The result was that she said, "Thank you, dear! I just wanted you to be able to... to buy yourself a hamburger," and then handed me a darling little envelope that turned out to contain $100. And all I could think was: