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#let's see if i delete this el oh el

tuituipupu · 26 days

Text

i'm having such an emotional time lately so i'm gonna be candid for a minute (i'm ok dw just feeling a lot h hh)

though everything feels heavy atm, i can at least feel happy in recognition that when i look back - i certainly have come a long way.

i've always thought i didn't care what people thought of me or my interests (but i think truthfully, everyone does deep down - even if it's just a small bit)

my old blog was SO PRECISELY curated to a tea that i would rb things in a certain order. to keep an aesthetic. and i hated it. it felt like prison (and this place of all online spaces is meant to be free - at least free of judgement!) i deleted that blog a couple of years ago.

now i post whatever i want when the impulse hits me.

i felt like there were lots of aspects of my interests that defied each other too strongly. but human beings are complex. and we can like different things at once (and post about them!)

and i think this is a big problem with aesthetic culture (and don't get me started on core culture on tiktok) i've always loathed it. like you have to tick certain boxes in fashion and culture and lifestyle to be an acceptable being and true to a community.

i'm really grateful for artists like käärijä or more recently, chappell roan. not only for their music ofc, but where many find a relatability in kä for his body positivity, he rly helped me accept the side of myself that is sexual. i always felt like i've buried this part of myself and felt shame and embarrassment. i even feel awkward talking about this now and a bit silly, but idk if some people might be able to relate and if so, i'd be interested to see if anyone shares similar experiences?

i feel like it's ok and above all safe to express myself sexually. i think it comes with being a woman for me, just feeling watched and exploited all the time. which makes me in turn feel awkward to express my sexual needs or desires. or talk about anything sexual. but where käärijä is so free in talking about these things or performing in a way that includes sexual elements, i feel free and like yes. this is normal and human and ok. a lot of people feel this way.

and with chappell roan, her drag elements of her makeup and fashion really inspire me and almost mimic harajuku elements to me. i love the over the top rhinestoning. i definitely feel more confident experimenting in makeup and wearing things i want to wear or have been scared to pair together.

idk i guess it comes with growing up and i'm still very young. but i guess it feels like for me, its taken me a while to get to this point. i know in reality my peers probably have their own battles but ig i don't see them and maybe deep down i almost feel like the odd one out and just idk... awkward?

idk it just feels better to write this now. when you realise things that have maybe been bothering you in the background of your mind and then it suddenly clicks into place.

#if you read this all have a cookie #🍪#being vulnerable isn't my fav but i think it is important sometimes #let's see if i delete this el oh el #personal

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thesparklingwriter · 7 months

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the blush hypothesis

“There are simpler ways to get me to blush, you know. You needn’t compose such convoluted plans.”

tags: established relationship, fem!reader, fluff, literally no plot to this sorry

(if you have seen this before its cause i accidentally deleted it el oh el)

masterlist | ao3 link | taglist | next

You glance at Zhongli over the top of your book, trying your best to hide the fact that your interest does not lie in the pages and rather with him as he methodically dresses for work.

Despite the fact that your husband is putting his clothes on, not taking them off, the nature of your spying makes your face heat up in embarrassment and you bury your face back into your book as realisation hits.

“You do realise I can feel you watching me?” Zhongli chuckles, doing his shirt buttons up as he approaches. “You’re not very subtle, my dear.”

You feel your face heat up more, putting your face against the pages of your book, hoping that if you stay there long enough, Zhongli will let the topic drop. Of course, that’s wishful thinking—he rarely lets things go, or gets flustered by you. In fact, you’re convinced you’ve never actually seen him blush in all the time you’ve been together.

“I was not watching you.” You protest, face still in the pages of your book. Zhongli raises an eyebrow, not that you see him do it, and chuckles to himself again.

You continue talking. “What kind of pervert stares at their husband changing? That’s ridiculous.”

“You, my dear, are a prime example of the pot calling the kettle black.” He sighs, sinking down on the bed beside you. You don't look at him, still flustered from being caught in the act. But as you’re trying to ignore his presence until your face is no longer hotter than the deserts of sumeru, a thought floats into your mind. What would it take to make Zhongli as flustered as you are right now?

And thus, you make it your goal to make him blush. For you, no tactic is too low, especially since it’s for the sake of science—your first idea is to compliment him incessantly. You’re not particularly the type to declare your love for him with words, preferring to show it in other ways, so his surprise at your words should make him blush, even if the content doesn’t.

And so it begins. For the next week, you try all the compliments you can think of, waiting to see that flush on his cheeks. His reactions are varied, a slight smile some days, hearty laughter on others. But not once does he blush or show any kind of embarrassment.

“My, don’t you look ravishing today?” you grin, flopping onto the sofa beside Zhongli, who is absorbed in a novel. He looks up at you, a pleased look in his eyes, despite his somewhat neutral smile.

“Thank you, dear,” He replies, not a single tinge of pink anywhere on his face. Infuriating. “As do you, as always.” He shifts himself, making more space for you to sit comfortably.

“That’s it?” You reply incredulously. Zhongli looks at you with innocent eyes, confused at your sudden hostility. “That’s all you have for me?”

“I seem to have missed your point,” He says brightly, as you scowl at him. “Did I offend you somehow?”

You frown even deeper. “Seven days. For seven days I have been using my extensive poetisicm to flirt with you and you haven’t blushed once. Not even even a smidge. What are you? Some kind of monster? Am I not good enough for you anymore? What’s it going to take to get you just a little bit flustered?”

Zhongli looks at you in mild confusion. “So the sudden influx of compliments was just a part of testing your hypothesis?”

“Yes.”

“There are simpler ways to get me to blush, you know. You needn’t compose such convoluted plans.” He chuckles, draping his arm across your shoulders casually and stroking your hair.

“Pray, tell.” You grumble. As if you spent all that time planning compliments, only for Zhongli to tell you you were doing it all wrong. “I suppose all those years being worshipped by all of Liyue has desensitised you to compliments, huh?”

“I suppose so,” He says. “However, I much prefer the ones you came up with. I quite liked the one in relation to the Cor Lapis and the Jade.”

It’s you who hides yoru face in embarrassment, feeling it heat up. Of course he’d manage to turn your plan against you. When does he not? The silly man knows exactly when to do to have you like putty in his hands, and he enjoys it—you know he does. There’s no other explanation for his actions.

“Don’t remind me. That one took me two days to come up with, and you ruined my delivery of it.” You scowl. “When someone asks what you and a random item have in common, just say ‘what?’, okay? Don’t start listing the qualities that you and a precious stone have in common. It’s a real vibe killer.”

“Why would I do that when the alternative means you’ll respond so adorably?”

You glare at him halfheartedly. “Don’t you dare.”

Zhongli ignores you, a devious smile growing. “That said, it has been a while since I last blushed. It was our wedding night, if I remember correctly.”

You laugh at that one. “The same wedding night where Venti laced your wine with hard liquor? That flush was from the alcohol, not me.”

Zhongli shifts himself so that you’re pressed right up to his side, his face in the crook of your neck. “Venti never laced my wine. I would have tasted it.”

“So you weren’t drunk? You’re trying to tell me that you had that stupid lovestruck grin on your face whilst you were stone cold sober? That you bowed like a knight before literally carrying me home before the reception was even finished?”

“Perhaps not stone cold sober.” Zhongli amends. “I’d say lukewarm.”

“That’s not how the saying works.” You try to pull away from him, but his arms around you are firm. “What now, Zhongli? First you resist my attempts to seduce you, and now you won’t let me sulk in peace?”

He rests his head against the crook of your neck, and that’s when you realise how warm it is. “All I had to do was bring up our wedding night? Are you kidding me?”

“In hindsight,” Zhongli mutters. “It is somewhat embarrassing to think about.”

“It was hilarious. Highlight of my life. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I was given the chance to.”

notes: heyyyy whats up y'all (no one mention that its almost been a year since i started this blog and i STILL haven't finished flufftober thank u) aine if you're seeing this i took you off the taglist this (1) one time because i know you've seen this already :3

taglist: @thelonelyarchon @aixaingela @medusuu

#zhongli fluff #zhongli x reader #zhongli fanfic #tswzhongliflufftober #zhongli #genshin impact #genshin fluff #fanfiction #zhongli flufftober #flufftober #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact fan fiction #genshin fan fiction #genshin zhongli #zhongli genshin x reader #zhongli genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

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bueckerssturns · 2 months

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si no le contesto - s. golbach

sam x latina ! reader

warnings: cursing in spanish, arguing, drinking. use of pet names.

translations will be provided

————————————————————————-

7 missed calls from mi amor

incoming call mi amor

answer decline

1 new voice message!

play delete

“samuel si no contestas ahora mismo ni siquiera pienses en volver a casa, me estas estresando!”

“Samuel, if you don't answer right now, don't even think about coming home, you're stressing me out!”

6 voice messages remaining

play all delete all

“sam, don't forget to pick up the advil before you get home”

“hey sam, i know you're busy but i wanted to let you know that i just finished the report and that probably when you get home i'll be sleeping be careful ok? i love you”

“sam, i'm getting worried answer your phone”

“samuel, enserio ya deja de jugar y contesta tu telefono”

“samuel, seriously, stop playing and answer your phone”

“oye, sam, ya vente a casa, ya es tarde”

“hey, sam, come home, it's already late”

“samuel contesta tu pinche telefono ahora mismo, que estas haciendo?”

“samuel, answer your fucking phone right now, what are you doing?”

the girl paced back and forth in the living room constantly looking at her phone hoping to see at least a message from her boyfriend but nothing.

samgolbach added to their story.

the girl clicked on the notification slightly sick to her stomach that not once did she get a call back from him but he posts on his story like he was not ignoring her calls a few seconds ago.

instagram opened up to the boys story, it was him at a party the flash from the phones camera being the only source of light shining in the boys face as he held a tequila shot towards the camera before shooting it down his throat making a face as the liquid made its way down.

“he could post but not answer my calls or messages? just great.” she thought. as she was analyzing the video it skipped to the next story colby’s story it was a video some what similars to sam’s but sam was in the background talking to a girl but not just any girl his ex.

they were laughing and drinking together before she grabs his hand and starts taking him upstairs that’s when the video cuts off.

not only did he not answer her calls but now he was cheating on her “wait no sam could never cheat on me he’s not the type” she thought as she sat down on the couch “or is he? no don’t doubt that he’s an amazing boyfriend he would never cheat on me” her thoughts raced as she tried to distract herself.

“think about what they could be doing right now, how hes probably doing everything he does to you” the thoughts had her head spinning.

she couldn’t have these thoughts not at this moment. she made her way into her room deciding to just sleep these thoughts away.

after a few minutes of tossing and turning to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in the girl was finally tired enough to let sleep take over.

the low creek of the door opening and closing shuffling and the feeling of the bed sinking behind her woke her up she knew it was him the smell of alcohol and perfume not just any perfume a cheap knock off of her favorite perfume filled her nostrils

“hey honey” spoke sam as he placed his hand on her waist “how was your night did you finish that report for work?” he didnt listen to the voice messages

“si, ya lo terminé trajiste el advil que te pedí?” “no, im sorry babe i forgot” liar “oh really?” she asked not looking at him “yea, the meeting lasted longer than i expected” “is that so?” she sarcastically replied grabbing her phone and heading to her instagram and opening it to his story “because according to you and colby’s stories you were at a party” she showed him the video as she pushed him off her to get up.

“yes, i already finished it, did you bring the advil i asked for?”

“what?” his voice slightly lowered “yea, i saw them didn’t think about restricting me first before posting did you? oh and don’t get me started on the fact that you were talking with your ex in colby’s video or the fact that she took you upstairs”

“babe, that’s not true we didn’t go upstairs” he replied as he got out of the bed “don’t try to lie your way out of this! i saw the video and it clearly shows that you two went upstairs!” she argued.

“y/n, please you know i would never do anything to hurt you!” he exclaimed as he slowly walked towards her “no sam, aver donde te vas a dormir porque aquí en mi casa ni te quiero ver”

“no sam, see where you're going to sleep because here at my house I don't even want to see you”

“what y/n you can’t be serious it’s four in the fucking morning!” “ni modo mi amor hubieras pensado en eso antes de llegar a estas horas oliendo a alcohol y perfume barato” she said as she pushed him out of her apartment closing the door in his face and locking it.

“too bad my love, you should’ve thought about that before arriving at this time smelling of alcohol and cheap perfume”

1:30pm

mi güero <3

y/n?

babe i’m so sorry i couldn’t make home last night my flight got delayed and i had no service at all

baby? are you mad at me? i’m sorry for not responding sooner or answering your calls you know if i could i would have please don’t be mad at me.

wait you’re probably still sleeping you most likely finished that report so late last night

yup, you did those voice messages you left i’m sorry i couldn’t answer but i’m already in my uber i have the advil and i’m bringing you your favorite breakfast from your favorite restaurant:)

as sam got off the uber making his way into his girlfriends apartment trying to balance the coffee with the breakfast bag his luggage and his phone he carefully unlocked the door making his way inside.

“y/n, honey it’s time to wake up” he whispered softly shaking the girl awake “huh?” she responded standing up and rubbing her eyes “goodmorning beautiful, go wash up while i go get your food from the kitchen” he smiled as he looked at her lovingly “sam?” “yes baby?” he asked turning to meet her eyes “what are you doing here?” she asked “what do you mean what am i doing here i live here silly” he laughed slightly “wait what” she whispered looking around.

“are you alright babe?” he asked worried going back to kneel down next to her “si estoy bien solo un poco confundida” “why, are you confused love?” he asked looking at her confused written all over her face “weren’t you at a party last night?” she mumbled confused “a party? no i was stuck at the airport in australia last night” he replied pulling out his phone to show her the pictures of him goofy around at the airport with colby.

��that’s weird never mind i think i just had a bad dream” she explained getting up to go get washed up in the bathroom.

i must’ve been dreaming because sam was clearly stuck at the airport with no signal. the things my brain comes up with when he doesn’t answer me.

———————————————————————

this is probably shit but i’ve been super busy with practices and school but i’m on break so imma try to grind and get some stuff i’ve been working on out anyway hope you enjoyed this :)

🏷️: @sturniolobendystrawsposts @hearts4chris @patscorner @lexisecretaccx @tubl-mc @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloblogs @sturniolos-blog

#sam golbach #sam and colby fluff #sam and colby fanfiction #sam and colby x reader #sam and colby imagine #sam and colby smut #sam x reader #sam and colby #xplr club #xplr #xplr merch #colby brock x reader #colby brock smut #colby brock #colby x reader #Spotify #sam goldbach smut

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nattinatalia · 3 months

Text

Jack Harlow x Reader : Instagram AU

A/N: Something new 👀

Liked by urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, jackharlow, and 2,345,986 others

yourusername Wine run calls for a quick insta post 🤷🏻‍♀️

View all 1,200 comments

claybornharlow There she is 🤩

yourusername Hiiiiiiii ✌🏼

urbanwyatt Stranger danger 😱 RUNNN

yourusername 🙄 so dramatic for what?

urbanwyatt Oh she responds now?

yourusername Okay do you want to get blocked again?

urbanwyatt I was blocked???

claybornharlow 💀

jackharlow lmao 🤣

jackharlow Let’s ignore the fact that we’re all unblocked for a bit. Look at little miss “new balance are the most uncomfortable shoes ever” 👀 🤔

yourusername Shut up

user does she block you guys every time Jack and her argue?

urbanwyatt hahahahaha

jackharlow She’s annoying

yourusername Go furnish your house before you start coming for me 🙄 get your priorities straight buddy.

claybornharlow Ohhhh budddyyyy 👀 🍿

jackharlow shut up

yourusername You can’t copy me at everything dude.

jackharlow 🖕🏼

yourusername You’re not that tan to be using that color emoji

urbanwyatt LMAAAOOOOOO

mamamaggie Here we go ☺️

•

Liked by jackharlowfan, jharlowupdates, and 6,986,456 others

allaboutjackharloww Jack enjoying dinner tonight.

View all 1,200 comments

user na why did you crop the picture 👀 I wanted to see who he’s having dinner with

allaboutjackharloww That’s how it was sent to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

user2 We know that’s YN 😂

user 💯 look at the nails lmao and she posted that pasta on her story then deleted it.

•

Liked by jackharlow, mamamaggie, claybornharlow, urbanwyatt, and 6,887,357 others

yourusername Passed my exams, so let’s celebrate by downing some shots 😎

View all 2,348 comments

urbanwyatt LETS FUCKING GOO

yourusername Wait… now I’m scared 😟

cozane Nah, you invited us out for drinks, we’re drinking the right way.

claybornharlow I’ll pray for you and your liver

mamamaggie Congratulations sweetie, I knew you’d do it 🙌🏼 have a fun and safe night. You deserve it.

yourusername 🥹😘

user Nahh peep her lock screen

user 😱

user why would her lock screen be of jacks dog ???

user 😂 because they’re dating and that’s their dog

jackharlow 🥳🥳🥳🥳

•

Liked by yourusername, jackharlow, cozane, selenosunni, claybornharlow, and 6,844,346 others

mamamaggie A night to celebrate.

View all 1,200 comments

yourusername 🥰🥰

urbanwyatt 📸 by me 💅🏼

mamamaggie We know child 😂

user Ohhhh 👀

user Yeah they dating, fucking. They doing something!!!!!

•

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, mamamaggie, and 6,876,355 others

yourusername Fashion show thanggsss con mis amigooosss 🫶🏼

View all 2,300 comments

urbanwyatt not the amigos 💀

yourusername 🤭

jackharlow Amiga cómo estás ?

yourusername White boy, are you using google translate again??

jackharlow You can never let me be

yourusername I was put into this world to humble you. Thank me later.

jackharlow 🙄

user just claim each other already

jackharlow She won’t let me

yourusername 😂 El que pide permiso siempre pierde.

jackharlow What does that mean?

yourusername Use google translate

jackharlow BET!!!!

#jack harlow #instagram au #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you #jack harlow x oc

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elstoy · 6 months

Note

about that last pierced!ellie ask its finneee im sure anything you would have written would be amazing 💗💗 I think ur drabbles depict the perfect amount of detail in such a smooth way and r very easy to visualize, little stories that latch onto my mind n just cannot stop thinking abt them hours after the first read !! honestly ur kinda one of my role models when it comes down to some smutty vocabulary and writing drabbles in general ౨ৎ love you lots.

on that note i cant stop thinking abt the one sucking her strap drabble u did a few days ago like ughh she would get actually so lost and sex–drunken watching you suck her off. maybe even when the reader has the dom role 🙏🙏

i am????? u r literally one of the best if not THE best ellie writer on here oh my god i’m so flattered!! ur storytelling and smut are top notch like an actual novel wtf <3

to ur point though… giving subtop ellie strap head is making my mind so fuzzy.

teasing her relentlessly while crouching down to get on ur knees… perhaps being a tad mean and teasing with it as well since u know she likes it when ur a little evil. example a would be making fun of her sweet blush when you pull her plastic shaft out of her jeans. a sweet coo of “such a pretty dick, els” would definitely make her knees buck. and funny thing is she knows it’s not technically a part of her (infact you picked it out yourself) but when you talk about it like it is… arghhh her brain quite literally melts and her hole starts fluttering. with a murmur of “awwh, am i making you nervous? hm?”, she’d be so scared to let her guard, her “tough guy” act down, that she’d probably chuckle nervously and avert her gaze to the side, muttering a lowly “aha, no”. so you’d have to (quite literally) peel her guard down by peeling her jeans and her boxers off of her thighs, which would leave them hung loosely below her little rump. as soon as you purse your lips and have her cock kiss your bottom one, she’d be bucking her hips forward like a dog in heat. you’d coo gently, “betcha’ wanna see it down my throat” which makes her heart and clit thump like crazy. n she’d be quiet as fuck and keep her wordcount down to a zero except for those harsh shaky breaths and grunts. you’d slide her dick in your mouth and down your throat and pinch her thighs and asscheeks whenever she fails eye contact cause her lids keep on closing. she’d probably get off on the sounds of your gags and your teary eyes and cum while holding her breath and having a tight grip on ur scalp. ends up fucking the shit out of ur throat cuz it makes her strap base bump against her achy clit. i know i said she wouldn’t be talking cuz too shy but when she orgasms she definitely grunts “suck. it.” acting like she’s in charge or something :/.

the type to run to the gc and message “srry couldn’t respond just got head” and delete it immediately after.

i need to write a longer detailed drabble sigh.

#꒰｡•ॢ༝ ｡꒱ ˚◞💌 : astralnymphh #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams concept #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie x you

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corrodedseraphine · 1 year

Text

so close | one shot

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: Seeing the movie Enchated for the first time you let an image of romance form in your teenage mindset based on the story. When you watch the film again a few years later, the circumstances are completely different and the situation much more messed up. angst/fluff, friends to lovers, modern!AU

the one shot is also avaliable on ao3

8 428 words

songs that I used: So close and That's how you know from movie Enchanted | Lita Ford ft. Ozzy Osbourne - Close My Eyes Forever

here it is after I almost deleted it twice, here you have super corny, obvious and a little bit angsty love story, enjoy (or not, I really can't promise you will like it.)

eddie munson masterlist | general masterlist

"Jeff texted that he will be 20 minutes late," Eddie sighed, sinking onto the couch in the Harringtons' grand living room.

"That means we still have at least an hour before he shows up," Gareth laughed.

"A real star must have a good entrance" Steve commented while switching channels on the TV.

Steve, with much persuasion from Dustin and Eddie, agreed to let Hellfire hold its campaigns at his house from time to time. The rest of the group also took the opportunity to come and watch the game or just spend some time together. Your group of friends looked like a mass of mismatched jigsaw puzzles, each of you diametrically opposed to the other, but that didn't stop you from creating your own little "family."

When you saw the princess fall into the well to find herself a moment later in New York you jumped up on the couch.

"Stop!" you shouted, snatching the remote control out of his hand. "I haven't seen this movie in ages! God I was so obsessed with it!"

"There's no way we're going to watch some princess bullshit." Munson whined reaching towards you to take the remote from you, but you quickly moved away squashing Max in the process.

"Get lost Munson! We are always watching what you want!"

"Because my taste is amazing?"

"And mine isn't?" you muttered.

"And mine isn't?" he began teasing you in a high-pitched tone of voice.

"If you don't like it, there's the door," you pointed in the direction of the exit. "Today we are watching what I want."

"Fine!" He grumbled melting into the soft cushions of the couch.

El was watching the movie enthralled, and Max rolled her eyes every time a song started, but still smiling as she watched you sing along with the actors. Despite the mean comments, Eddie also couldn't get out of his awe at how word by word you kept up with the melody adding a bit of drama to it as if you were getting into the moment in the movie. Additionally, he felt somewhat enchanted by it, but he didn't want to admit it so he struggled to hold back the smile creeping onto his lips. Play it cool, Munson. He repeated in his mind. Just play it cool.

"Now the most beautiful scene in the movie." said in a disheveled voice as the ball scene began.

"Oh my gosh this is so corny. It is obvious, that Robert and this redhead will dance together and this will be the moment when they will realize that they came there with the wrong people." Eddie commented.

"This Redhead's name is Giselle. And even if corny, it doesn't change the fact that it's romantic! And that song? Purest magic."

As the first notes of So Close began to come from the speakers, the metalhead jumped off the couch, standing in front of you with his hand outstretched. "Get up." he said. "Dance with me." A wave of heat washed over you. You nervously looked into his eyes seeking reassurance that this was for real. "Faster before it ends."

Now, Without hesitating you grabbed his hand and walked away the couch so that you were standing behind it. Eddie gently rocked you to the beat. The smell of his colonge intoxicated you. You had never been so close to each other. So close. His large hand rested firmly on your back generating a pleasant warmth that further dulled your sanity. For several months you had been aware that your relation to Eddie was not purely friendly. Every time you managed to shrug off your silly crush, he would then do something like this and your every effort would be in vain. Did he just make one of your teenage dreams come true? Yes. How could you not fall in love with a man who unknowingly made one of the fake scenrios in your head from a few years ago come true? At that time, you dreamed that the real Robert was in Eddie's place, but this change didn't bother you one bit. This version was much better. You looked at him with disbelief and a kind of enchantment when you danced. When his gaze met yours he smiled showing dimples in his cheeks, making you feel that he was about to have to grab you even tighter because you wouldn't be able to stay on your feet on your own. Unfortunately, beautiful moments have a way of coming to an end very quickly. When the music died down he took one last look at you. His gaze went from your eyes to your lips. Did he want to kiss you? the quiet voice of hope in your head made you feel like your heart was about to explode.

"See?" he grunted suddenly snapping out of his trance. "Nothing special."

Your heart didn't explode. Your heart broke. Nothing special. For him. For you, it was special. Too special. Brutally brought down to earth, you returned wordlessly to the couch sitting down between Max and El. When a few single tears ran down your cheeks you explained that it was because of the movie and the touching ending. Everyone knew perfectly well that you were easily moved by movies, so they easily believed it teasing you later because of it. No one needed to know that you couldn't focus a bit on the end of the movie replaying in your head the moment when you had Eddie so close and still so far.

The next day was not the happiest either. Still feeling the weight of Eddie's words on your heart, which dragged you down to the very bottom, you spent most of the time in bed self-pitying. Unfortunately, you eventually had to get up to get ready for work. Not long ago, Eddie helped you get a job as a bartender at The Hideout by recommending you to the owner. So from now on you were present at every Corroded Coffin concert cheering them loudly from behind the counter, where you also had a perfect view of the guitarist, who ran around the stage like crazy and made all your attention not necessarily on the customers.

The bar was slowly filling up as Gareth and Simon sat by the counter waiting for Jeff and Eddie. Sitting with them were members of the band that always performed before the CC.

"So." said Gareth looking you deadly in the eyes. "When are you finally going to talk to him?"

"What are you talking about now?" you asked pretending not to know what was going on.

"Ugh, I'm begging you! I can't look at you two anymore!" He whined. "The latest dance-thing in Harrington's living room? Hello?"

"It was nothing special." You replied recalling Eddie's words to which Gareth rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure if we hadn't been there he would have stuck his tongue down your throat at the end!"

"It's obvious that you like Eddie, and I think the feeling is mutual." interjected Simon taking a sip of beer. As long as the guys played there for half free and paid for the drinks the bar owner pretended to be convinced that they were all 21 years old.

"Aww our little barmaid fell in love with crazy Eddie? How adorable!" at the very sound of her voice you winced. Diana was the bass player in the other band. From the very beginning there was no sympathy between you two and she was always looking for an excuse to get on your nerves. Now Gareth and Simon have handed it to her on a silver platter. Cursing in your soul, you ignored what she said.

"I think that's enough beer for you today." you said taking the drink from his hand.

"You should talk to him as soon as possible, for example today when he drives you home after work."

"There's nothing to talk about." Nothing special. Those two words haunted you on loop.

Never before watching their performance was so difficult for you. You had the impression that Munson was looking in your direction a little more often than usual. However, telling yourself that it was just a delusion caused by your stupid crush, you tried not to worry about it too much. What scared you more was the thought of the way home where you would be alone in his van. You always loved your comebacks. Especially when he took the longer route home because you were having a too-good-to-be-true conversation, or a song that was playing was too good to get out of the car. Now thinking about it, you felt anxious. It turned out that you sensed an impending disaster.

You left the bar accompanied by Gareth. Eddie had disappeared earlier saying he was going to pack his guitar in the car, but when he suspiciously did not return for a long time you decided that you would meet him in the parking lot. As you approached the place, the sounds of muffled moans began to reach you more and more clearly. When the source of the sound appeared in front of your eyes you felt as if fate had dropped a ton of rocks on you. Eddie pinned Diana against the van with his body as she tried to undo the belt to his jeans. They were kissing like there was no tomorrow.

"What the fuck-" Jeff asked loud enough to tear them away from each other. Breathing heavily, all red and with a messy hair, he looked at you. Diana only watched with a smile of satisfaction on her lips as you clamped your mouth into a thin line. Don't give her more satisfaction. Don't cry. Not now. Not in front of her. You repeated in your head over and over again.

"Shit, y/n, I know I was supposed to drive you home-"

"It's okay!" you shouted. "Gareth will drive me home." you said, and without waiting a moment longer you got into the other car. Through the window you saw Eddie saying goodbye to the others and, together with his new companion, getting into the van.

Despite numerous attempts by the guys, you didn't say a word on the way back. Struggling with thoughts of what he might be doing with her now was exhausting enough.

Love is beautiful. Beautifully painful. Especially when only one-sided. You cried for so long until you fell asleep, and in your dreams, annoyingly enough, some ominous voice repeated like a mantra two words.

Nothing special.

Since that evening, Eddie has completely disappeared from your life, except for Hellfire evenings. He forgot all about the whole of God's world with only Diana in front of him, who had him wrapped around her finger. His absence was horribly felt, and although a part of you was grateful for it, the other part was languishing. You weren't the only one hurt by this fact. The younger boys, like lost sheep, missed how they talked for hours about the next ideas for the campaign, Corroded Coffin stopped having their rehearsals twice a week limiting themselves to once a two weeks because Eddie said they didn't need to see each other that often anyway. Their music was still good, but by doing so they also lost something a little bigger, as they always stayed at Gareth's house after rehearsals hanging out and having fun as a small group of freaks. Now that bond was fading and when Eddie finally mercifully showed up for a rehearsal all the positive energy was gone. Instead, there was more and more arguing and disagreement. Even Steve and Robin sincerely missed his presence and how he always managed to entertain everyone with his jokes or stories. Each one of you brought something unique to the group, so it was no surprise when the absence of one of that group left visible traces.

In this way, a month had already passed, and you were wrong to think that time heals wounds. You changed all your Thursday shifts at the Hideout so that you wouldn't be present at CC's performances, kept your phone use to a minimum so that you wouldn't accidentally be surprised by their photo together which would be another stab. For El, high school turned out to be extremely difficult, so you devoted yourself entirely to helping her study, spending most of your free time preparing notes, researching materials, anything that could keep your thoughts away from Munson and his new girlfriend. Still, you felt as if all your life and joy had escaped you that day, not knowing what you could do to find it again. Your worse state didn't escape the eyes of others, but you kept dismissing them by blaming it on fatigue, which wasn't entirely a lie. In fact, you were tired of the whole situation, fed up with the sharp pain in your chest every time you saw him. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, of course you were proven wrong.

Everyone was very surprised that instead of once again turning down your offer to go out for burgers together, Eddie declared that he would be there. Everyone was happy to think that this was a chance to get back to something good. You sat at the biggest table in the diner talking about the upcoming freshman prom. El was incredibly excited, Max even though she wanted to hide it, also became more spirited as she showed you pictures of the dress she wanted to wear and asked if you would help her get her hair done on the day. Suddenly a cold gust of wind that came through the open door cooled the atmosphere considerably when Eddie appeared in it with none other than Diana. Gareth and Steve sent each other questioning glances and Robin just rolled her eyes taking the menu in her hand. As they approached the table a grave silence fell.

"Hi?" he said finally. "I know you all haven't had a chance to get to know each other so this is Diana." The younger part of the group muttered a greeting while looking suspiciously at the girl.

"Ed, I thought kids were the only in your funny club. What are they doing here?" she said with a goofy grin measuring Dustin from top to bottom.

"Hellfire is not silly." replied Mike wrinkling his eyebrows.

"Of course sweetie." she replied with a mocking tone as if Mike was actually 5 years old.

"So what are we eating?" Eddie interrupted before the conversation could go too far. Diana took the seat opposite you sending you a triumphant smile. Because of this, you were forced to watch her whisper something in his ear every now and then, making his cheeks turn redder as he showed his playful smile. Of course, they also gave you a show when their lips couldn't keep away from each other, with each time he embraced her she looked you straight in the eye and winked as if to show that she had won. But was it any competition at all knowing that you never had a chance with him? Nothing special. That's what you were to him. Having no strength left, you let her do it. You let her take satisfaction in the sadness you could no longer hide, and even sitting at the table with the people you loved, you were unable to focus on anything else. Your leg shook nervously under the table as you waited until everyone finished their meals and you could finally leave the cursed restaurant. Before leaving, El and Max went to the bathroom. When they disappeared behind its door Lucas turned to Eddie.

"I know Principal Higgins made you guys play our freshman prom," he said.

"Yeah, the asshole threatened me that if we don't play then once again I won't be able to graduate."

"I overheard Max talking to El about how super romantic it was when you danced with y/n to that song from the movie we watched before hellfire, uh Enchanted? the one from that scene at the ball... I thought you guys could play it at ours?" he explained. And no matter how romantic and touching his plan seemed to you the very memory of that evening was not so pleasant. Would you perform that song with Eddie now? Despite the fact that it could kill you seeing Lucas full of hope and the image of a happy Max won. Seeing your surprised faces he continued. "Y/n knows this song by heart anyway, she could sing it and you would play it, I guess it's not that complicated to learn?"

"I can help you." you finally said, and for the first time since he entered the restaurant you looked at Eddie, who was also looking straight at you. That was a mistake. Looking into his big dark eyes for more than five seconds was a terrible mistake that violated the cracks on your heart.

When Eddie opened his mouth to respond Diana wouldn't let him. "Babe, I don't think you're going to agree? You're a metalhead, you can't play some song from a dorky movie about princesses."

There was thought on his face, however, everyone knew what the answer would be. All of Lucas' hope was extinguished like a candle when Eddie admitted she was right, joking that he wouldn't want his reputation to change because of something like that. He tried to apologize to Lucas, but the boy ignored him completely. When the girls returned, the moment of salvation arrived an you could leave. The next stop was supposed to be bowling, but knowing you couldn't take it anymore you said you weren't feeling well and wanted to go home. The rest of them quickly decided that bowling could wait and you would do it another time. Eddie stopped to smoke a cigarette, watching as everyone parted in the directions of their cars, wondering why everyone had given up on further plans with such ease. Seeing Diana hanging on to him without a word you walked past them, feeling your vision getting blurrier and blurrier.

"Y/n!" you heard Robin calling you and after a moment you felt her grabbing your hand.

"I have to go Robin, really." Your voice was slowly breaking down.

"You're not alone with this." Steve grabbed your other hand squeezing it tightly.

"Do you want to come with us? A movie night for three?" she suggested smiling gently, to which you just nodded. Maybe you actually didn't have to be alone with all this? That evening you cried out in front of them all the emotions that had been boiling inside you for a month. Both of them admitted that they knew from the beginning that you felt something for Eddie, but they were convinced that he reciprocated those feelings, which is why they are unable to understand such a sudden change in his behavior.

Seeing Robin holding your hand was nothing new, the fact that you are close with Steve was not strange to anyone either. He had seen the two of you hugging many times, but now that you had ignored his existence all evening, had not spoken a word to him, and had only looked at him once Eddie seeing Harrington's hand tighten on yours felt something strange. It was definitely not a pleasant feeling. He also didn't understand why, despite Diana lying half naked in his bed, the only image he has in front of his eyes when he closes them is two hands holding each other. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't focus on anything else, and even more surprising was the fact that when he pulled away from the girl who was covering his neck with hot kisses, she just shrugged her shoulders and left, leaving him alone with his thoughts in the trailer, which now seemed very big and empty.

One day at the cafeteria, everyone was talking about a small meeting over the weekend that Eddie, as standard, didn't attend. Everyone was so busy looking at pictures that they didn't even notice when he approached the table.

"What are you guys talking about?" he asked finally getting their attention.

"Pictures from Saturday, we had a little spontaneous pool party." replied Will.

"Oh, was it fun?" He couldn't help the upset that was slowly creeping into his system. He felt sidelined, and the worst part of it all was that it happened at his own request.

"Wanna see?" The boy handed him the phone.

Your presence in most of the pictures made his heart beat faster but it was filled with something strange. Longing? And what did he feel when he came across a photo of you making braids out of Argyle's long hair while sending him a wide smile? When you are sitting on Jeff's shoulders in the pool holding an oblong sponge and on the other side is Robin sitting on Steve's shoulders as you imitate a sword battle? The sight of his friend's hands on your thighs made him nervous. The final realization was the photo in which Steve embraces you as you sit covered in one big towel and Dustin in the water poses pointing a water gun toward the camera.

"Too bad you weren't there dude." Gareth said. "What were you doing that you couldn't come?"

"I uh- I was with Diana." What he didn't mention was that after twenty minutes she once again left him alone for the same reason as before.

Confused by his new discoveries, he muttered that he had to go and left the school. He knew that as long as Corroded Coffin played hopeless pop songs at the freshman prom Principal Higgins wouldn't kick him out of school, so skipping the last two classes didn't seem like too big a crime to him. Not wanting to be alone now, he got into the car and headed straight for Diana's apartment. Where another surprise awaited him. She opened the door for him dressed only in an oversized men's shirt.

"Hi Eds! What are you doing here?"

"I thought maybe we could spend some time together?" he replied uncertainly. From the end of the apartment came their male voice calling her.

"As you can see I'm a little busy." she said wanting to close the door but he caught it at the last moment.

"What's actually going on?" he asked trying to comprehend the situation somehow.

"What do you mean?" she looked surprised, which made Edde feel even more confused.

"I thought that me and you... that we..."

"Oh my God Eddie." she paused him. "I think you misunderstood the situation a bit. I like you and sex with you is really good, but there is nothing more between us. I thought you were aware of that." Seeing the shock on his face she continued. "The truth is that I started all this to make your little friend who is pathetically in love with you angry."

"You did what?"

"Y/n? The barmaid at the Hideout? I heard her talking about it with your band mates. I never liked her so I thought I'd get on her nerves a bit." she shrugged her shoulders. "I thought you knew that what we were doing was just fun. Definitely nothing special. And now I have to go, it was nice to see you, bye Eddie!"

Never before in his life had he felt so foolish. Gaining a whole new perspective on the situation, the dots in his head were connecting. Your behavior toward him was also making more and more sense. Everything suddenly seemed so obvious now. The problem was that it was too late.

You were awakened by the sound of several messages in a row.

Gareth: hey y/n, u here?

Gareth: it's important

Gareth: y/n?

Gareth: ?

You: what the hell happened

Gareth: there is an urgent meeting at my garage in an hour, will you come?

Gareth: it's super important

you: fine

Half asleep you rolled out of bed with great difficulty. But considering his behavior whatever the meeting was about it really had to be very important. The thought crossed your mind that it could have been about Eddie. Will he be there? Will he be there with her? Will you have to look at it all again and repress the voice in your head that constantly screams That should be me? Flushing your face with icy water, you returned to earth. Satisfied that you had temporarily succeeded in stopping the train of thoughts in your head as quickly as possible, you finished getting ready and left the house without leaving yourself a spare moment.

You were relieved to see that in Gareth's garage there was no trace of Eddie and Diana exaggerating their feelings for each other. But the sight of Robin and several other kids from the school band sitting fiercely discussing something surprised you. As you approached they all greeted you, and Robin began to explain the purpose of this odd gathering.

"We want to help Lucas, you know very well yourself that these kids deserve one fairy tale evening." she began. "So we've gathered some people who are able to help us and play this song from the movie," she said.

"We just need someone to sing, and since you already know the lyrics we thought you'd want to join in." Simon added smiling.

"Besides, we want to show Eddie how much we don't care about his girlfriend's opinion," Gareth rolled his eyes making a disgusted face at the mere sound of the word girlfriend.

"But...the prom is tonight." you said disoriented.

"We've got four hours to try to figure it out, I think we can make it."

"You can't make it if you keep wagging your chins!" Robin clapped her hands rushing you guys to work.

In this way, for the next few hours the whole neighborhood listened to the same song over and over again, the beginnings were very difficult to synchronize but the final product seemed to be really good.

As you promised before the ball you helped Max to become a divinity. Seeing her smile you yourself couldn't hold back yours despite the fact that at the very thought that you would soon have to be in the same room as Eddie a big nervous knot was forming in your stomach. When Max looked like a princess you dropped her off at the Sinclairs' house from where Lucas' mom was to drive them further. You, Robin and Steve agreed to get ready together at your house. When you pulled into the driveway they were already waiting for you, rushing you and panicking that you were late. Fortunately, the preparations went smoothly, except for the process of making Steve's hair.

Corroded Coffin were moving their instruments into the hall when you drove to the back of the school to park next to them. Eddie watched in amazement as you exited the car. Steve in an insanely expensive, elegant suit and perfectly styled hair, right behind him was Robin in a loose white shirt over which she wore a gray blazer and matching pants, and right behind Robin came you in a slightly airy black dress. All three of you looked like you had walked straight off the catwalk, but Eddie's eyes saw only you.

"Dude you okay?" asked Steve seeing his stupefaction.

"What?" he asked snapping out of his trance.

"I'm asking if you're okay."

"Y-eah, I'm just surprised to see you guys," he answered.

"Dustin declared Steve as the caretaker for tonight and someone to act as a host." Robin explained.

"Always the goddamn babysitter." you teased the boy with a laugh.

"I found two stragglers on the way, so I thought I'd take them with me," Steve bit back.

"Dude! That's not fair, you'd share!" Jeff shouted walking up to you.

"In your dreams!" Steve grinned embracing the two of you. "Ladies?" he asked arranging his arms so you could grab him under the arm, which you did giggling. You said goodbye to the guys and moved toward the entrance. Seeing your hand gently touch your friend's biceps, the gloom that had been with him for days began to deepen. Eddie knew that the evening might be very long and difficult.

To his delight, it turned out that the school had hired another band, so Corroded Coffin played at the beginning, and the second half of the prom was to be taken care of by the other one. When Munson reached the long-awaited ending and left the stage he noticed that the rest of the band was not following him. Surprised, he watched as Steve walked on stage and grabbed the microphone.

"My dear friends, before we say goodbye to Corroded Coffin for good we would like to present one more song." he said in the voice of a TV presenter. "This is a very special request, so don't be afraid to invite someone even more special to dance." He smiled. "Ahead of you is Corroded Coffin in collaboration with the amazing Hawkins High band!" Applause rang around the room. Together with the rest of you, you entered the stage taking your spots. All the younger part of your team pushed straight to the front of the stage looking at you with excitement. The first notes released by the piano were like the bullets of a gun to Eddie. Piercing his heart to the core, making him realize how devastated everything had become.

You're in my arms And all the world is calm The music playing on for only two So close together And when I'm with you So close to feeling alive

Your voice spread through the room, echoing a permanent mark in his brain. He had heard you sing many times, at various meetings you sang together while he played the guitar, but now everything was completely different. The warm light of the reflector illuminated your skin, making it shine from you with a beautiful radiance that enchanted him with every word. Even if he was standing completely in the shadows by the stands, he didn't miss how your eyes found their way to him, but quickly changed direction without giving him a chance to do anything.

A life goes by Romantic dreams must die So I bid my goodbye And never knew So close, was waiting Waiting here with you And now, forever, I know All that I wanted To hold you so close

He remembered that day. He remembered how for about three minutes the whole world was gone and all that mattered was that you were in his arms. Not expecting the whole situation to have such an effect on him. After all, he had always avoided anything related to romance. Even if he wanted to, he never had anyone with whom he could try such a thing. Then you showed up, looking at him much warmer than everyone else. Always available to him, always helpful and giving support. When, after a whole day of listening to nothing but insults in his direction, you met and your heartwarming voice with a hint of something he couldn't identify before dispelled all the coldness leaving only a pleasant calm. Now he knew it was affection. Even when you teased and called him an idiot, you said it in such a way that he felt as if the most beautiful praise in the world had been poured down on him. Why didn't he notice this earlier? Why did it take the entire messed-up situation with Diana for him to realize it? Why didn't you ever mention anything about it before?

So close to reaching That famous happy end Almost believing This one's not pretend And now you're beside me And look how far we've come So far we are, so close

How could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now

At that moment he wanted so badly to kiss you. To give himself to the magic of that moment and just kiss you. But he remembered that you are not alone. He remembered that you are friends, not a couple. Not knowing if you would want the same, he panicked.

We're so close to reaching That famous happy end Almost believing This one's not pretend Let's go on dreaming For we know we are So close, so close And still so far

You were so close. So close, just within reach, yet panic won out over desire. Not knowing how to act, the only thing that came to his mind was to step back and pretend that it didn't affect him even the slightest. Now he understood your sad expression when he said it was nothing special. Listening to the same song performed by you now, he had never felt so far away from you before. He lost you at a time when he was just beginning to understand his feelings for you. At the time he didn't know what was happening to him, now he felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

When the applause sounded in the hall again you started to go backstage. Without a second thought he ran there.

"Y/n!" he called out to get your attention. "Can we talk?" he reached out a hand to touch your shoulder, but you moved away from him quickly enough that he didn't.

"I don't have the strength to talk to you right now Eddie, I'm sorry." Your voice was weak.

"Please, give me a chance to explain..."

"What do you want to explain? There is nothing to explain."

"Why didn't you ever say anything? If only I had known that you felt something for me, things would have been different!"

"What would it change?"

"Everything..." he said almost inaudibly.

"Don't lie to me Eddie!" you blurted out. "Don't lie to me in a situation like this, because I can't stand it. I can barely handle what happened, I don't need your fucking lies!" you didn't mean to sound so harsh, but you were barely holding on.

"I'm not lying, why the hell would I lie to you?!"

"Because this..." you pointed at both of you with your hand "This is nothing special for you."

"y/n, it's-"

"I don't want to hear it Eddie." you said swallowing tears. "I don't want to hear it because I know it will hurt even more. You've made your decision. And as much as I was able to understand that you didn't return my feelings, I will never accept how easily you forgot about all of us. We were so close Eddie! So fucking close, but now? As far away as possible." Without waiting for his reaction, you turned and walked away, leaving him alone with the despair that was slowly consuming him all over.

All weekend, Eddie was immersed in sadness. Your words kept sounding in his head, refusing to let go. He wondered how badly he must have messed everything up that you didn't want to believe his words. Saying that he had forgotten about you wasn't entirely true either, but he realized that from your perspective that's what it looked like. He regretted his behavior. Now he knew that the hot moments with Diana in were definitely not worth it. He didn't even care too much about the fact that she used him. He focused all his energy on experiencing and condemning himself for having participated in breaking your heart. This was something he could not forgive himself for.

Sunday afternoon passed peacefully in the Munson's trailer. Eddie had done nothing all weekend except playing his guitar and sleeping. When Wayne entered his room a picture of misery and despair was painted in front of him, but he didn't want to push his nephew, saying only that if he decided to talk he knew where to find him.

The man was dozing off in front of the TV when a firm knock on the door snapped him to his feet.

"Hi Mr. Munson," his eyes were met by the entire Corroded Coffin squad. "Is Eddie home?"

"Hi boys. He is, but I don't think he's feeling well," he said, letting them inside. "Maybe you guys know what's going on?"

"Oh, it's very simple, Eddie instead of being guided by his feelings was guided by what's in his zipper and lost the girl who for months you were in love with him," said Gareth.

"He was in love with her, too, but he realized it a little too late." Simon added.

"You forgot to add that I also lost my friends." Eddie's voice surprised them.

"We're here, so I guess you haven't lost them yet." Jeff replied waiting for his friend's reaction. He just merely opened the door to the room wider in a gesture of inviting them in. Simon took a seat in a chair at the desk, Jeff on the floor opposite the bed and Gareth, without waiting for permission, spread out across the bed. Eddie sat on the floor next to Jeff playing nervously with the rings on his fingers.

"Dude, you look like shit." Simon finally said, causing everyone to laugh.

"I look just like I feel, asshole." Eddie grabbed the dice that was lying by his leg and threw it towards the boy.

"So..." began Gareth.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I acted like an idiot." Munson breathed out.

"And?"

"I know you guys think I forgot about you, but it wasn't like that. I just-" He couldn't find the words to describe the whole situation.

"Did you think with your dick instead of your brain? How is Diana by the way?"

Eddie with embarrassment told them how the whole situation looked like. About how he let himself be screwed into her hopeless manipulation, about how it all ended, about how he felt when he saw you perform with them on stage during the prom and your conversation after the show. A lot of emotions weighed on his heart, he had been feeling so lonely for a long time that now he did not hold back from opening up and sharing everything he felt with his friends. Even as they continued to make mischievous jokes, he was grateful that he no longer had to be alone with it all.

"Okay, I'm a little guilty about all of this. If it weren't for my loose tongue Diana you would never have known that y/n was in love with you. I feel obligated to help you get her back."

"What?" Eddie didn't expect that. Get you back? Was that even still possible?

"Do you feel anything for her?" interjected Simon

"Yeah, of course I do".

"So I guess it's worth fighting for her?"

"But... I don't know how."

"But I do." Gareth pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Are you ready to make a romantic fool of yourself?"

"What do you mean?"

Eddie didn't get an answer instead the boy smiled broadly and clicked something on the phone from which a song came after a moment.

How does she know you love her? How does she know she's yours?

"Oh my fucking God!" Eddie covered his face with his hands, and Gareth paused the song. Is he really going to seek help from a song from a damn Disney movie?

"This can be your final chance! And I don't have any other idea, so- Remember how excited she was about that movie? You've already used the dance to that song and screwed it up completely."

Eddie pondered his friend's idea for a moment. The truth was that he had nothing to lose, instead he had a great deal to gain. It was definitely worth it.

"Alrigh Giselle... enlighten me."

does he leave a little note to tell you, you are on his mind? send you yellow flowers when the sky is gray?

When you found a small piece of paper and a yellow tulip lying behind the wiper of your car on Monday morning you thought it was a joke, but you knew this handwriting very well. You would recognize it anywhere. Throughout the week, a new note with a flower was waiting for you every morning. On Sunday evening you decided to show them to Robin.

I think about you.

I miss you.

I hope your day will be nice.

So close together, and when I'm with you, so close to feeling alive You made me feel emotions I had no idea about before.

I never thought being romantic was for me, but you make me want to try it.

Romantic dreams must die? What if we tried to bring them back to life and make them come true?

Let's go on dreaming For we know we are So close, and NOT so far

The last change of the text especially reached your heart. Of course you wanted to be the closest to him in every way possible, but what if you once again gave your heart to him and after a while he would say it was nothing special?

"They started to appear so suddenly?" she asked looking at them.

"Yes, I completely don't know what to think about it Robin. First he tells me that one of the most special moments in my life is, in fact, nothing special, and then I witness how in love they are with with Diana, and now this all of a sudden?"

"Maybe it didn't work out for them?"

"And now I'm supposed to be a consolation prize?"

"I am so sorry." she said resting her head on your shoulder. The thought of you being his second choice was killing you from the inside. Why was he doing all this? Why couldn't he let you forget in peace and move on?

does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?

Nope. Not gonna happen. The previous dance turned out to be a disaster and he wasn't going to risk it again.

dedicate a song with words meant just for you?

This. He could do that, but a little later.

he'll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes, rent a private picnic by the fire's glow

After a week of getting flowers and notes, there was silence. You wondered what you should do. Why did he stop? Maybe because you didn't respond to any of them? Maybe he got upset and decided it was all a mistake? It's been a long time since you felt so confused and lost. Then, suddenly, your phone rang, and you were relieved that it was only Robin.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hello to you too." you replied sarcastically.

"Steve and I will be outside your house in ten minutes, we're going for a ride."

"Wha-" before you had time to finish she hung up.

This was no joke. Punctually ten minutes later the honking of Steve's car sounded on your street. The ride didn't last long, less than ten minutes to Lover's Lake during which they both ignored all your questions. When you got out of the car Steve stood behind you covering your eyes with his hands and Robin grabbed your hand leading you forward. When Harrington finally let you see, you froze. A large blanket was spread out on the grass with thick candles in glass jars. Next to it stood a vase with yellow tulips, the same ones you had been getting before. Beside it was a backpack with your favorite snacks sticking out of it and Eddie's acoustic guitar.

"Guys, what's going on?" you asked turning around. But Steve and Robin had disappeared from your sight. Now in front of you stood Eddie dressed in his Hellfire T-shirt. But it was slightly different than the rest. This time the skull was in your favorite color.

"Please." he said walking up to you. "Before you leave, please give me a chance to fight for you." He grabbed your hand. Feeling you not snatch it from his grasp he led you to a blanket where you both sat down. The sun began to slowly hide behind the horizon. The warm orange created a beautiful spectacle by combining with other colors and reflecting in the surface of the calm water. The view was calming. It was as if the sky wanted to tell you that everything will be fine. You decided to trust it. Without a word, Eddie grabbed his guitar and began to play a song quietly singing the words. He sang as if he didn't want to startle the moment with being too lound. You listened in silence still not taking your eyes off the setting sun.

I know I've been so hard on you I know I've told you lies If I could have just one more wish I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes

This was the moment when you finally decided to look at him. When your eyes met and you saw in his sincerity, you knew this was the moment you forgave him everything. It was the moment you decided to trust him once again. To risk breaking your heart once again. You knew that he was worth it. Not wanting to waste another moment you put your hand on the strings to stop him. Scared that you were about to get up and leave, he swallowed the gulp in his throat, preparing himself for rejection.

"I forgive you, Eddie." Those three words were like salvation to him.

"Really?" he put down his guitar quickly and squatted closer to you.

"If you promise to be honest with me."

"Of course, sweetheart."

"I want you to tell me the truth Eddie, I want to hear it, please." Your voice was nervous.

"Let's start from the beginning when I lied that the dance in Harrington's living room was nothing special. Because it was. So damn special that I think I got scared of my own feelings and panicked and lied. Later that whole situation with Diana? I swear to you on everything that if I knew you had feelings for me I wouldn't even look at her. I couldn't believe that someone as hopeless as me could find his place in your heart..."

"Eddie you are not hopeless-"

"Let me finish, please." he put his hand on your knee. "I've missed you so damn much. Day after day every time I didn't come to meetings with you I couldn't stop thinking about you. And when I saw Steve holding your hand? Believe me it was like a nightmare that haunted me for days without a break. Once Will showed pictures of a pool party I once again didn't attend. I was jealous as Hell and angry with myself for being so distant from you. But what hurt me the most was that in those pictures you were so smiling, so happy... Which made me realize that you don't need me to be like that at all. I know it's terribly selfish, but you wanted the truth so you got it..." he took a deep breath. "It turned out that Diana only needed me to make you angry. She heard Gareth talking about you being in love with me and decided to take advantage of it. Of course, I have nothing in common with her anymore and I am disgusted with myself to the core because I took part in it.

"You didn't know that..."

"But I took part in it, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for it. When I wrote on one of the notes that thanks to you I felt emotions I had no idea about, I wasn't lying. Damn it, before I thought I wanted to have nothing in common with anything romantic, but for you? I even watched that movie again, I planned it all inspired by a song that refuses to leave my head and drives me crazy because I wanted so badly to find the answer to the question how does she know you love her? Letters, yellow flowers, dedicating a song and a picnic? I even tried to train the raccoons from the trailer park to dance and sing but I guess they didn't like the idea." He grinned causing you to giggle. "The whole situation came about because neither of us had the courage to confess what we felt. That's why now I don't want to hide it anymore. I don't want to hide the fact that I am in love with you."

"And I am in love with you too, Eddie." you said without stopping the smile creeping onto your lips. The sun was long gone from sight however the night and its starry sky were equally beautiful. Your faces were illuminated by the soft candlelight making everything look like a scene from a movie. But it was much better than even the best movie in the world. You and Eddie now played the leading roles, and no one else but you decided what to do next.

"From what I remember they also mentioned something about a true love's kiss" No more running away. Early on he had taken too many steps backward and he had no intention of repeating that mistake. From now on, every step he took was forward toward the door behind which lay your future together.

"Oh, and what specifically?" You laughed, bringing your face closer to his.

"Something about pulling a tail," he curled a strand of your hair on his finger and pulled lightly.

"Really?" you asked touching his curls gently.

"And uh... somethin' about the lips I guess..."

"Lips?"

"Yeah. Lips." He nodded. "Listen. I know that I was an idiot. A complete asshole. An obvious blind man. But even the biggest idiot in the kingdom deserves a second chance."

"A chance for what?"

"For true love's kiss."

"Is this our happy ending Eddie?"

"No sweetheart. This is our happy beginning." And then, without waiting a moment longer, your lips finally connected. Kissing him was a much more magical experience than you expected. At first shy kisses became more and more thirsty for closeness. So close. Never before had he been so close as now. You wanted this closeness to consume you completely, so that you were short of breath. And if the true love's kiss was a real thing, you knew that only Eddie's lips would work in your case.

taglist: @i-me-mine

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mrhowells · 10 months

Text

Smallville 4x22

Can't say I feel sorry for Genevieve bc that woman was nasty but Lana just got another thing added to the huge pile of trauma she already had😬

oh hey Lex, so what happened here was-

bunnyyyyy💕

"I had this one last week, really scary. This... guy wearing a red cape." "Wow, that sounds horrible Lois."

I can't do this they're so?????

STOP HAVING EYE SEX IN FRONT OF THE PARENTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

I'mskSJkslKSL Jonathan's face kills me

Mr. and Mrs. Kent, I just wanted to say thanks for everything. You guys are like the Mom and Dad I've always wanted to have.

Lois bby🥺😭😭

"Lois, we want you to know that you are welcome back here any time."

"Actually-" "We'll all miss you, Lois."

SHUSH Clark, we're having a moment here😭

blushing kicking my feet

"Oh, come on Clark, your future is laid out right in front of you. You're gonna go to community college, major in agriculture, probably minor in law enforcement. And then you and Lana are gonna have a nice little church wedding."

I can't😭

He's such a menace around her it's EVERYTHING

"Even if I could spell, the last thing I'd wanna do is spend my time in a newsroom. With my luck, I'd probably end up across the desk from the most bumbling reporter on the masthead."

OMFGSAHSAJDKHA

so much eye contact I'm going insane

If you hear faint screaming in the distance, that's me I'm losing it

CLARK YOU CAN'T LOOK AT HER LIKE THAT AND EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT I'M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE HERE

i already know I'm going to hit the media upload limit and have to delete stuff, ugh😭

this episode is feeding me so well

my beautiful family😭😭😭 they raised me actually, true story

"Because you have a way of getting things in half the time a normal person gets things done." "And I'm not normal?"

Chloe really didn't do this one on purpose but OUCH😬

Lois with her "the general said/ taught me..."🥹

now tell me why this interaction fills me with so much joy😭

I love them so much it makes me look stupid

CLARK WILL U STOP BLAMING YOURSELF JESUS STOOOOP

✨and then I paused the episode and didn't continue until over a month later, my brain is wired like that I fear✨

Jor El is so unserious I'm sorry, if he wasn't so vague and cryptic all the time a lot of messes could've been avoided🤡

I just imagine the actual Jor El watching this go down in the afterlife and facepalming so hard

Clark is sad = I'm sad, it's the law

Lana giving Clark the stone without even removing the blood first lol

I feel so bad for her😭 I swear whoever made the plot decisions on this show got off on Lana being in pain and I'm getting more and more angry on her behalf.

and that's on good instincts

(I've seen people say that Lana going to Lex instead of Clark after killing Genevieve is further proof that she doesn't trust Clark at all and it's like... how tf was Clark going to help her in this situation???😭 I agree that Lana and Clark have trust issues ad infinitum but in this case she just did the logical thing, come on now)

I have to respect this man for the level of unhinged he's reached, truly

Lois is so cool😩 Once again I am free on Saturday-

"Before you leave this earth I want you to know... you did create the son you always wanted."

Lionel when I get my hands on you

NUH UH JASON YOU TOUCH MARTHA ALL BETS ARE OFF

I need Lex to chill and stop manhandling Lana & Chloe please and thank you💀 He's joining the unhinged club

Martha & Jonathan against Jason?? Yes please I love fights between people without powers or martial arts training

🎶somebody save meeeeeee🎶

the way Chloe pushed Lex against the cave wall was hilarious I'm sorry

Fortress bestie we're almost hereee🥳

:(((((

Lois is sad = I'm sad, again, those are the rules

seeing the only place she ever considered a permanent home getting completely destroyed, IT'S A LOT. This whole episode was a lot.

And let's not even get started on Lana JESUS CHRIST. Smallville writers I think we need to sit down and have a conversation about her because WTF?

I don't even care that the witch plot was wacky and Jason's character arc was really badly executed, this season was so much fun.

#ellie's smallville thoughts #smallville #4x22 #clark kent #lois lane #jonathan kent #martha kent #clois #lex luthor #lana lang #chloe sullivan #jason teague

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blazehedgehog · 9 months

Note

Thoughts on the twitter clones popping up because El*n is destroying twitter? Hive was hilariously shortlived. But do you think Mastodon, Cohost, or Bluesky have what it takes to replace twitter?

I think a lot of them are dumb and greedy. The way people so willingly flock to anything even remotely promising is depressing, even when it's a pretty much open fact that monsters are behind them.

Like, Threads. Threads sucks! It's by Facebook! You know, Mark Zuckerberg, the dude who literally had to go before congress and explain himself because they were stealing and selling so much of your personal data without your permission? Because, by the way: That's not supposed to happen. You're supposed to care about that. You can't just be like "oh well they have my data already, may as well ignore it". That's a bad thing to just let happen!

This is the guy who invented the "pivot to video" concept that decimated an entire industry of writers who were now expected to produce videos, all because Facebook was dramatically faking viewership numbers in a bid to lure in more advertisers. He runs a site that was proud to accept and promote insane fringe theories and undoubtedly contributed to the attempted coup of the United States Government on January 6th 2020. That Facebook. That Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah. They're behind Threads.

Or what about Bluesky? Everybody hated Jack Dorsey when he was running Twitter, so much so that they basically forced him out of the company. Now he's behind Bluesky, a website that is literally just Twitter 2, which openly admits he's feeding and selling all of your personal data to machine learning databases (like ChatGPT or Midjourney).

They also openly have settings for whether or not you want to see racist and bigoted content, which actually means being a Nazi on Bluesky is totally okay! They're going to welcome those people with open arms! They're just going to give you a setting to hide them instead of, you know, eradicating them off the platform like cockroaches. But it means Bluesky allows them, marks them, and lets them freely indoctrinate more people into becoming literal murderers.

Remember Hive? Remember how many people FLOODED to Hive and it was discovered they had an eensy weensy teeny tiny security flaw that allowed anyone to both edit and delete any post on the entire platform? Hive said they were going down "for a couple days" to fix it and ended up being down for six months. Also, the developers behind Hive actively hid their identities this entire time! Even before they were popular! There was no way to be sure who was EVER running that service! People were joking that it was a CIA operation! Who knows!

People are trading one dumpster fire for another with these places. You might be escaping the stupidity of Elon Musk but you're still digging deeper, not out of the hole. Every single option is going to lead to more regret and misery eventually.

Even Cohost isn't perfect! And I like Cohost! It's a lot more like Tumblr used to be in the early days. And Cohost is a lot more grassroots than any of these other services, they're a lot more open with whether or not the service is going to survive, but that's also because they respect the poster, respect their data, and just want to make a cool place to hang out at. Out of all the places to spring up during Twitter's death march, Cohost is where I've been posting.

But I heard someone say that Cohost is a very "holistic" approach to posting, and that's true. It's the social media website version being a vegan. It's all kale and chia seeds.

Cohost has no recommendation algorithm. It does not tell you who is following who. It does not offer numbers to tell you how many likes or shares a post has, or who liked or shared it. Everything you do on that site exists in a near-total vacuum unless you specifically put in the work and go looking for it. On some level it's admirable, because they don't want people developing the same competitive, toxic habits of only posting to "do numbers."

But also it sucks because, like, there's no way to identify and reference notable posts, nor see who your mutuals are. The only way to find friends through other friends is if they share one of their posts. And once a post falls out of favor, it's basically lost in the void to all those except a chosen few who remember how to speak its name.

But the vibes at Cohost are... good. I guess. It feels much more like everybody knows everybody. One good post will come across the feed and it feels like the whole dang website shares it that day.

But I would like a little bit of numbers. As a treat. Just because we can subsist on tofu does not mean we do not also deserve a nice, juicy hamburger too.

There's also Mastodon, and I have a friend who really liked Mastodon and wanted it to succeed, but I also heard it described as "the linux of social media" and that's exactly why I'd never use it as my primary platform. It's supposed to be decentralized, making it more diverse and easier for sub-communities to exist within the network, but last I checked, it just made it a pain in the ass to actually follow people that were on different networks than you.

Each one had a different compatibility song and dance you had to do in order for you to follow them from your network. Didn't like it. The whole federated platform feels like slightly too much work to use.

I will probably keep posting on Twitter until the last ember burns out. But I am believing more and more that what Elon is doing to Twitter is deliberate murder in order to deplatform his enemies. He's an idiot, don't get me wrong, but he's also doing things that are deliberately malicious "for the lulz." I'm sure he thinks he can rebuild Twitter into whatever he wants because he's just that rich and smart so he's willing to gut it from the inside out first.

#questions #Anonymous #twitter #cohost #bluesky #mastadon #hive #threads #tumblr

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morallyinept · 21 days

Text

A full transcribe of JAVIER PEÑA'S dialogue/lines from the TV show NARCOS.

S2/E8 - EXIT EL PATRÓN

Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.

I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.

FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:

Join the DEA, see the world, right?

Listen… I need you to prepare yourself for some blowback. It goes high up. And these people aren’t gonna like it when I try to get myself out of it. If they come after you about what I’ve been doing, you protect yourself first. You didn’t know anything. Understand?

I don’t fucking know.

__________________

No.

__________________

(In Spanish) That’s right. But you have to talk to get it.

(In Spanish) Blackie… Blackie, Blackie, Blackie. What name did your mother give you?

(In Spanish) Lucumí? From the pacific. Lucumí, they found explosive residue on your hands. On your jacket, everywhere. They’re going to blame you for that bomb, Lucumí.

(In Spanish) We know that. We know it wasn’t your idea. We know you’re not the boss. Don’t let them blame you for this. Don’t let them see you as the one who killed all those innocent children. Help us and we’ll help you. Give us Pablo.

(In Spanish) Then give us something. You have to give us something or they’ll hang you.

__________________

He will be because we’ll be calling him with Blackie’s phone. He picks up, we get a signal.

Just us.

__________________

(In Spanish) I need to know you didn’t make the call.

(In Spanish) I know. But not with them.

__________________

It was him.

(In Spanish) Quica. Hello.

(In Spanish) Hello, Quica. How’s it going, my friend?

(In Spanish) Calm down, Quica. Don’t be nervous. What’s up, Quica?

__________________

(In Spanish) Quica. What’s up, Quica? Quica, Quica, Quica. What time is it, Quica? What are you up to, Quica?

__________________

Motherfucker.

Here we go.

Stop!

__________________

(In Spanish) Where is the staging point?

(In Spanish) Then give us Pablo, asshole.

He says he wants a new life in the US of A.

(In Spanish) We don’t have time for bullshit. Blackie already rolled on all of you. If you don't give us something fast, of substance, we’ll buy you that ticket to the United States… but extradited.

(In Spanish) Fine, then a jail cell here. With a sign that says “snitch” around your neck.

__________________

(In Spanish) Now give us the staging point.

__________________

There you are, motherfucker.

It’s after nine. He’s not showing up. He’s fucking onto us.

Oh, fuck this!

__________________

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

#pedro pascal #javier peña #javier pena #pedro pascal characters #javier pena narcos #javier pena dialogue

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paperstorm · 7 months

Note

i know you said you didn’t want to talk about this and you can delete this ask when you get it but speaking into the void here

i personally as an arab never expected ronen to give a both sides are bad let peace prevail kind of statement (im aware that is what he is posting now and has reiterated that palestinians aren’t responsible for hamas i haven’t ignored that)

fully acknowledge that this is painful for him given his personal family history and just the generational trauma jewish people have lived through and antisemitism raging in the states for the past few years and spiking drastically since the bombing started

so him sticking by israel no matter how much of a bitter taste it leaves in my mouth lmao i understand why but what genuinely hurt was him reposting videos from violently islamophobic and racist right wingers like nathan*el buzolic calling it “palestinian propaganda” and who dont care about jews or israel but in his eyes brown arabs are the devil and need to be gone (ronen could very well not know what that man stands for but doesn’t change that its who he’ll be associated with henceforth cuz everyone knows and noticed)

celebrating biden sending weapons to israel knowing full well who exactly its being used against and pushing the “human shield” bullshit to justify it all makes it hard to digest seeing babies pulled out of rubble and dying and never not once admitting that collective punishment isn’t right or mass starvation isn’t right

i dont think anybody is ignoring his sentiment of wanting peace between communities but compared to what he’s been pushing it makes it harder to acknowledge when the most hes said about palestinians is “oh life will be lost on both sides no can do” and not voicing support for a ceasefire and doubling down against people trying to kindly show him a more nuanced view and flat out blocking people

i’ve long since stopped caring about celebrities and their political opinions cuz they need woke points but since we’re all a part of the same fandom i guess its making rounds more

(and also a general thing, the fact that antisemitism and islamophobic hate crimes are spiking should push politicians to call for a ceasefire instead of doubling down on their money making tactics from defence contracts and stocks cuz as long as people see videos of palestinian parents losing their children and vice versa and weeping in the streets and IDF soldiers in uniform eating mcdonalds in a full face of makeup and acrylics its just going to keep getting worse cuz the disparity is getting more obvious)

It's not that I don't want to talk about it, it's that every time I do like clockwork about 30-45 minutes later the death threats and 'kys' anons roll in and that isn't easy to deal with. But I do think these things are massively important and I do want to talk about them.

And I agree with all of this. It feels so silly sometimes to care about him or what he's saying when there are babies buried under rubble from genocidal bombs dropped purposely on apartment buildings and bakeries and hospitals and funded by American taxpayers like ... he's a random C list celebrity and we aren't the victims here by any stretch of the imagination. But it still hurts. It seems to me like he is extremely misinformed. Uninformed, ignorant, uneducated, whatever adjective you want to use. If he's bought into the human shields propaganda then he's bought into all of it, and the US/Israeli propaganda machine is one of the strongest the world has ever seen (I mean you have a state indiscriminately slaughtering thousands of children and you have the whole Western world terrified to say "hey maybe don't do that", it would be impressive if it wasn't so horrible) so he isn't the only one who's fallen for it but it's ... sad. I dont' know, it's just sad. All of that and all of what you said is context for his response to this, but context doesn't make it hurt less. It sucks that we're going to have to do the heartbreaking work of separating him from TK in order to keep loving our show and not feel like we're de-facto supporting genocide. We're not the victims in this, especially those of us who are white and not Arab and not Jewish and are far less likely to face any consequences here, but it still sucks. I don't have any answers but I'm there with everyone who feels let down by him right now.

#911ls asks #palestine #israel

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floweryrkive · 2 months

Note

honestly, i think cancelling yunjin is so stupid. it's one cup of starbucks.. and buying/drinking starbucks or mcdonalds or anything does not necessarily mean that the person who bought it supports israel. You call her ignorant when ur literally cancelling people over food and other stupid stuff."oh but they support israel!" let me ask you something, is boycotting actually doing something? Theres little evidence on how boycotting has affected anything, and the only thing thats happening is annoying people. I feel bad for the people, and i dont support israel, but its so fucking annoying seeing this happen. Grow up. ive literally seen ppl who supported palestine start hating this whole thing bc of the countless petty and annoying things.

i was thinking about whether i should answer this or delete this because i knew there was going to be someone who would say this exact stuff at one point after i would say i won't be writing for yunjin for now.

let's break it down :

I am NOT cancelling her, nor have i mentioned anywhere that she should be cancelled ( i think cancel culture is a whole lot of toxicity which is another topic) I am merely disappointed in her actions because she has faced this situation before and tell me one thing, if she had faced this same thing before and that time she responded accordingly ( which was deleting the post and apologising actually) would she not know how this would affect her/look abt her viewpoints? Also the fact that Jake from Enhypen ( her co-worker mind you.) apologised immediately after being called out for consuming st@rbucks on live is saying a lot too isn't it?

One starbucks...i can't even think of how stupid this statement is. She's a CELEBRITY. Her influence matters! Why do you think they do advertisements and shit with them?!

It's not just food! It's multinational companies directly funding these terrorist groups that commit genocides! st@rbucks and mcdon@lds are apart of these MNCS! And before you come and say the SK starbucks is not associated with the American one, they are still paying for using the brand name.

No one's claiming she's a zi0nist, but considering the fact that there's literally a hybe boycott going on rn due to them working with 🛵( a very raging zion!st who has literal proof of his support of isr@el as well as messaging pro-palestine armys is very telling) her still buying is obviously going to be showing a lot about her ignorance ???

and don't get me started on boycotting not working because if you lookup on twitter there's enough proof that these companies are pulling strings to literally gain sales that are dropping drastically!

article

the main issue comes when this is turned into a fuckass fanwar instead of simply calling these idols out for consuming these products. stop defending her actions when clearly she is aware of everything going on ( she's literally the most online member in lesserafim, she has a coworker who apologised for consuming st@rbucks, there's trucks that are in front of that damn hybe building to urge them to stop working with 🛵) and the people you're talking abt hating this thing are hating it because fans like you are being so tone deaf and blindly defending these idols, turning this into fanwars!

all you had to do was search abt this instead of blindly accepting her actions but instead you choose to come into my inbox telling me to grow up.

i don't mean any malice or hate towards you, but please, look into why exactly people are calling her out, don't lose your moral sense over this. i hope you are able to see the issue soon enough. have a good day.

#[ mail 📬 ! ]#i knew this would happen #i don't care if you don't support this stance #feel free to block/unfollow #but i just have one thing to tell you #don't lose your morals #not buying is so easy #you're literally saving money #just yeah #that's all #thank you

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buniyaad · 4 months

Text

20 Questions for Writers

i was tagged by cousin @radioactive-earthshine

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

175 published works! I do not count any WIPs, outlines, notes scratched longhand, or random shitposts I make on the tunglr because that's another 1700+ 😂😂😂

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

According to my stats page.... 1,218,398. So 1.2 million+ words published since maybe 2010. Everything prior to 2010 was deleted because I was super embarrassed of what I used to write 😭

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I follow my heart so my AO3 is basically my fixation chart in real-time. Way too many specific fandoms to count, but in terms of medium: I write for a lot of manga fandoms, used to write kpop fanfiction as a kid, still write kdrama fanfiction whenever something catches my eye, and of course comic books and wrestling. I also have a handful of fanfics for books.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Shadow Dance (Captain America/Avengers movies) Sometimes Love Starts in the Bed [Or that One Week Kamui Tried His Parents' Approach at Romance] (Gintama manga) To the Rhythm of His Love (Black Clover manga) Tere Liye, Hum Hain Jiye (Black Clover manga) Red Bangles, Black Anklets (Naruto manga)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I love responding to comments!! It makes me feel special lmao 😂

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ephemeral (Hunter x Hunter manga). I basically wrote the ending for the Dark Continent arc (since it's unlikely it'll ever get finished), and sank the boat and all its passengers while making my OTP end up together in heaven after they both died 😂😂😂

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Leoht Unfæger (Beyond Evil kdrama). Basically wrote a novella repairing my ship's relationship that the kdrama had done serious damage to. They got married in the end even though one half went to jail for contributing to the other half's sister's demise. Oh, and the same guy who went to jail also used to bang the sister 😂😂😂

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Regularly! I'm pretty vocal about my likes and dislikes, and many times, by behavior has invited demons into me house. During my Black Clover fandumbing days, a crackhead used to make it their mission to leave hateful comments on my fics. I don't delete them however. Most of the time it makes me laugh bc you can figure out the speech patterns and tag exactly who it is that wrote it. I like to think ten years down the line, they'll look back on their clownery and let the shame eat them alive.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes!

10. Do you write crossovers?

It depends! During my kpoppie days, I did a crossover of my favorite band and one of my favorite kdramas, and never finished it (even though I have the ending outlined on paper). It really depends on the fandoms and if I find synergy between them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Probably lol, but not that I know of. I grew up during the asianfanfics days, and used to post fanfiction on other sites before I got an AO3 account. It was not uncommon to see fanfiction stolen from LJ and other sites that were then posted to asianfanfics, which had a notorious plagiarism issue.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have three in circulation in the Russian language, and one that was translated into Chinese!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nope, unless RPing during the third grade on Naruto forums counts as collaborating on fanfic 😂😂😂

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

It changes every day bc I am dynamic and go with me heart. But also note, for some of my favorite ships, I've either never written fanfiction for, or it's no longer available cuz I done deleted it, so I'll just note my CURRENT haunts (which may or may not be decades old... sad 😂).

Comic books: Jon Kent/Jay Nakamura, Bart Allen/Kon El

Manga: Asta/Liebe, Jack the Ripper/Yami Sukehiro

Who knows what I will like tomorrow.... I certainly don't 🤪

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a Smallville Earth 2 post-canon fic outline I've had sitting in my drafts for over ten years....... Inshallah one of these days, but I sincerely doubt it 😂😂😂

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Building dread, purple prosing, and writing the saddest sadz before giving folks the happy ending. I'm also a slowburn maestro. Love horror, but usually end up writing more romance than plain horror LOL 👽

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

I be overthinking shit, or I be outlining something and saying I'm finna write it but then I don't because I end up getting distracted by something else. I have a Prison Playbook kdrama fic outline that's nineteen pages long that I will never write out bc I got distracted by ANOTHER kdrama. I have OCD but that shit apparently has no impact on my publication goals 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Love it! I'm fluent in multiple languages, so I love peppering in different languages in my fanfics, and regularly borrow from Hindi and Arabic language songs, poems, and other media to title fics. Maybe 30% of my fanfiction is inspired by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan songs. It do be like that sometimes djhfgdfgdf

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I genuinely don't remember anymore, it has been SO long. All I DO know is that I deleted it all because I was an embarrassed baby and really wish I hadn't. It can be anything between the following fandoms: Yugioh, X-Men comics, Bleach, Smallville, some variant of old teen movies, etc. I seriously don't remember which one, but ONE of them. lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

All of them. I bleed words. I be rereading my own fanfiction like they're the hottest novels on the stands. I try to read other fanfiction when the mood strikes, but I myself am my target audience, so I be writing things that I know I'm gonna reread years down the line. For example, my HxH fanfics are still my favorite fanfics from the fandom cuz nobody else was writing Hisoka/true!form!Bisky, and few people were dedicated to Melody/Kurapika. I'm a narcissist 👽👽👽

#real talk #ava's ficcing adventures #gpoy

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nhasablogg · 2 years

Text

The After

Fandom: Stranger Things

Characters: Jonathan, Eleven, Will

Summary: After leaving Hawkins, Jonathan decides it's his job to take care of them all.

A/N: I wrote this back in 2019 after I’d deleted my blog and posted it on AO3 in reaction to the season 3 ending. Now, with season 4 just about to come out, I figured I could post it here. I hope you like it! If you see any weird formatting it’s because I just copied and pasted it from AO3.

Words: 2k

The drive away from Hawkins wasn’t silent. None of them talked, but the small things that did make sounds occupied the entirety of the car, until Jonathan felt like he didn’t fit anymore. El’s deep breaths, Will occasionally sniffling, the fucking car keys dangling from the ignition, and Nancy’s goodbye ringing in Jonathan’s ears. He felt bad for the others. If he hadn’t been driving he would’ve gone insane ages ago.

He glanced to the side. Will had his head turned away from him, as if contact would burn him. All around them, endless trees, a blur of yellow that couldn’t have been that interesting to look at to begin with. Will, entirely still except for his hands continuously wringing the hem of his t-shirt, was most likely aware of Jonathan’s gaze on him and yet did not acknowledge it.

He caught El’s eye in the rearview mirror, but only for a second before she averted hers. She stared at her lap for a beat, two, and then out the window like Will.

Jonathan turned back to the road, cleared his throat, but no words fell out of it. He had nothing. He’d run dry. He couldn’t fix this for any of them.

What a fucking mess.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Will suddenly said, breaking the spell. “Or the woods. Whatever works.”

Jonathan pulled into a gas station only a couple of minutes after, Will slamming the door with slightly too much force as he exited. Jonathan caught El’s eye in the mirror again. “You need to go too?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“You sure?”

She cracked a smile. Out of all of them, she was somehow still the one able to smile. “I’m sure.” “Okay.”

“Do you need to?”

“What?”

“Go?”

“Oh. No, I’m good.”

Her smile grew. “You sure?”

He let out a laugh, turning back to grin at her. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Will was quick, and they caught up with Joyce in no time. She’d probably not even realized they’d stopped, which was good. Jonathan was sick of worrying her.

The first day at the new house, too many hours away to visit Hawkins regularly, was chaotic. Furniture being moved around, giving out bedrooms, trying to fit everything in a space they didn’t know. Trying to make it familiar, with a whole new family member being present. Maybe it was a good thing that El became a part of them here. She wouldn’t have to feel like an intruder when none of them knew the sounds this house made anyway.

“Of course you’ll all have your own rooms,” Joyce was saying, an edge to her voice.

“But where will you sleep?” El insisted.

“The closet fits my bed just fine. We don’t own that many clothes anyway.”

El turned to Will, as if looking for assistance. Jonathan was glad his mother was pushing for this, though. He couldn’t imagine having to share his room and having to put up a front all the time, as selfish as it sounded.

“You’re all too old to share a room with a family member,” Joyce continued when Will made a move to speak. “I don’t want to make this worse than it is, okay?”

Jonathan shut himself in his new bedroom as soon as he could, feeling like a pre-teen again. They hadn’t fixed up the phone yet, so he couldn’t call Nancy, as much as he wanted to. He was aware that it was a bit sad that El and Will missed more than one person, but Jonathan had never been much for friends anyway.

He sat on his old bed, looking at the new walls. They were white. Bare. Standard in a new home, but the texture was all wrong, and the position of the window was all wrong, and no matter how hard he’d tried he couldn’t replicate his old space and it was all wrong.

Jesus. He was literally acting like a 12-year-old.

He knocked on Will’s door. “Buddy, can I come in?”

He heard a mumble, and then Will opened the door for him, not even waiting to hear what he wanted before he was walking back toward the bed and allowing Jonathan to enter on his own.

The room looked sad. Possibly because Will got rid of so many of his things during the move, but even the couple of posters on the walls didn’t manage to make it feel like a home. But maybe he was being dramatic.

“You okay?” he asked, taking a seat beside him.

Will shrugged. “I’m all right, I guess.”

“You need help unpacking anything?”

“I’m good.”

“All right.” He leaned back, resting his body on his elbows. “Your bed is so squeaky.”

Will huffed out a laugh. “I should’ve asked for a new one while I had the chance.”

“Too late now,” Jonathan said, reaching out to poke his back. “Oh, hey, I’d almost forgotten how ticklish you were,” he said when his brother jerked away.

Will shoved at him. “Shut up.”

Had the circumstances been different Jonathan would’ve launched a proper tickle fight, but he had a feeling Will wouldn’t appreciate it right now.

“You know you can talk to me, right? If things seem terrible.”

Will nodded. “I know.”

Jonathan poked him again. “At least you’ve got Eleven.”

Eleven. They both realized it simultaneously. As awful as things seemed for them, it was probably worse for her.

***

Jonathan hadn’t spoken much to El, despite her having dated his girlfriend’s brother for a while. He was happy to see that she felt comfortable around them all, especially Joyce, but he was aware of the fact that, if El would pretend to be fine to anyone, it would be to their mother. She wouldn’t want Joyce to feel any worse than she already did. El was a lot like Will in that aspect.

Jonathan frankly had no idea of how to approach her naturally, so he let the knowledge that they now lived together be the main reason. “Hey.”

She looked up from her bowl of semi untouched cereal. “Hi.” “You mind if I join you?”

“No.”

He took a seat across from her, the table small and old and quite honestly falling apart. They smiled at each other, a bit awkwardly, but it felt genuine. They were in a tricky situation, what with suddenly being siblings, sort of. Jonathan had always wanted more siblings. A sister. And he reckoned El having more people to care for her wouldn’t hurt.

“Will and I are thinking of exploring the area today,” he said, realizing too late that this would’ve felt more casual had he gotten some breakfast of his own to eat. “Wanna join?”

That was the start. Her nod, her insisting Joyce came with, and pretty much a whole day of walking around and talking as if nothing was wrong. Maybe that was the first step to things feeling more okay, but he definitely knew that was the start of their growing relationship. Or at least he hoped so.

The three of them started reading comics together. Playing games, sometimes with Joyce joining in. They still hadn’t really talked about everything, but Jonathan knew that they probably needed the distraction more than the therapy right now. They needed the bad jokes, the nights spent cooking, movies, trips down memory lane, trips to the store, the laughter. Will had started laughing again too.

Joyce, not yet.

One thing at a time.

They were in Will’s room, the three of them. They’d started gathering almost every evening, not really doing much, but needing the company as the sun started setting earlier and earlier. Will was leaning against the headboard, and Jonathan was leaning into him, mostly because he enjoyed the way his brother was laughing as he tried to shove him away.

“You’re heavy,” he whined, El watching them both act like fools from the foot of the bed.

“Oh, excuse me. I didn’t come here to be offended.” He emphasized his point by lightly pushing Will away with his shoulder, making him laugh even harder. “Why are you laughing, huh?”

“I’ve never seen you like this,” El suddenly said. She was grinning when Jonathan looked at her. “Either of you.”

“This tends to only happen behind closed doors,” he said, sitting upright to give Will more space again. “I wouldn’t want to embarrass him in front of his friends.”

Will rolled his eyes. “More like you don’t want to act like an idiot in front of Nancy.”

“Nancy knows every side of me, trust me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

Will flashed him a grin. When did that kid get so cocky? “She hasn’t dumped you yet.”

“All right, you know what?”

Will’s giggles came easily the moment Jonathan’s fingers found his ribs, but the laughter was deeper, the flailing limbs longer. He almost got elbowed in the face two seconds in, but he reckoned he would’ve had it coming.

“Stop!” Will cried, nearly falling off the bed had Jonathan not grabbed his arm. “Come on, don’t be mean!”

“Because you were being an angel just now.”

“I’m sorry!”

They were finally okay to do this. Jonathan hadn’t realized how long it had been.

“El, do you know about tickling?” he asked, glancing at her for long enough to see her nod.

“Hopper,” was all she said. Jonathan couldn’t really picture that man being playful, but maybe he was being unfair. He hadn’t known Hopper like that, after all.

“Good, that means I can do this without alarming you.”

It was only a quick squeeze to her knee and a couple of pokes to her belly. More he didn’t dare do, but she was laughing nevertheless, hands raised as if ready to fend him off. Will, sweet Will, was still giggling beside him.

***

There were bad days too. Days where Jonathan wanted nothing more than to talk to Nancy for hours and hours, but then Will needed the phone, or El, or their mother, and Jonathan wanted to throw a temper tantrum because he hadn’t held Nancy in his arms in weeks and they were depriving him of his sole comfort.

But then he realized it was the same for them. And he also realized that Hopper was gone, so El - and his mother, for that matter - had more to be angry over. Had more to mourn.

He caught Eleven in one of those moments, when the tears kept streaming down her cheeks and seemed to never stop. They were home alone, Jonathan returning to a seemingly empty house and finding El in her room, the door open. She was holding that piece of paper again. The one they’d jokingly started calling the script. Hopper’s words sloppily written down, unaware of what they would come to mean. Jonathan hadn’t read the whole thing, but El was compensating for it by reading it over and over.

He didn’t say anything as he entered. El moved over to make space for him on the bed, wiping and wiping at her face as if she didn’t want him to see, but there was no use.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing her wrist. “It’s okay.”

They sat in silence, El’s sniffling occasionally breaking it, and Jonathan was reminded of that car ride all those weeks ago. He wasn’t foolish enough to think things would ever feel entirely okay for her, and he wondered how many times she’d cried without anyone consoling her.

“You know what helped us when Will went missing?”

She wiped at her face again. ”What?”

“Looking at his things. Remembering the good times.”

El had a box of Hopper’s stuff. Of the things she’d decided to keep. Jonathan had seen his mother look at them from time to time, when El hadn’t been in. They made her cry, but it also seemed to bring her peace.

Joyce and Will found them on the floor a while later, Hopper’s things spread out around them as El told story after story about each item. Joyce put the groceries down and joined, adding facts and stories that El hadn’t known, the two of them crying and laughing simultaneously.

Jonathan watched Will linger in the doorway and reached out a hand toward him. He entered, sat down, leaned into his brother, and listened.

#stranger things #stranger things fic #tickling #tickle fic #jonathan and eleven and will #the after #n writes

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fandsart · 1 year

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Oh, absolutely. Nancy needs to work on her people skills because she's really bad at those. I would love for Murray to call her out, but every time a character does that, the narrative in Stranger Things punishes said character because Nancy is always right.

I agree with all your points. Also, in s3, it was a summer internship, and Nancy acted like she was a fully employed reporter there. Jonathan saying she should have managed her expectations was the truth, and I hate how much shit he gets from the fandom for that.

Nancy is more of a detective she thrives with investigating and following clues. Her need to be constantly right is what's motivating her, not wanting to tell a good story. She also lacks creativity she needs to have to spin a good story. Like Robin coming up with her little backstory or thinking outside the box in the library, which helped them so much in the overall plot. As for Steve's essay, I talked to someone who works as a teacher, and they were like Steve's essay was fine a bit choopy and definitely in need of tuning. Nancy overreacted by saying it's not cohesive or doesn't make sense. It was clear Steve used a metaphor, and if Nancy isn't able to see that, idk if she's good at writing. I'm not saying she is stupid, I just feel like she isn't passionate enough to improve her writing skills but is rather focused on solving mysteries.

I honestly see her working in the police force, it's a better conclusion to her arc because the police failed Barb so she's now making sure that won't happen to other families. Maybe she should team up with Hopper in s5, that would be interesting.

I was going to bring up the fact the narrative punishes characters who question her. Well, really I was had a sentence written out that said "The only reason Nancy is always right is because she has to be the girlbossiest, but most of the time she really should be wrong" but I didn't want to make the commentary too meta. I already had so much down about it, so I didn't expand past that and just deleted it.

I think it's interesting to compare her hunches to Joyce's, because the way they play out is similar but different. Nancy is always presented as being right about something that everyone else just denies, even though it's right in front of them (very Don't Look Up). Whereas Joyce always happens to notice really weird things which make sense to question, but people always question her perception of the events because what she's claiming to experience seems unreal. Nancy has to be in conflict around the obvious so she seems like she's, idk, prosecuted a little about it.

People make fun of her for thinking there could be a story to be written, which doesn't make a lot of sense. In real life I feel like it would make more sense for the professionals to stare blankly at her for her suggestions and then ignore her, which can also work for a narrative, but it has to be exaggerated (there's a similar issue with how El is bullied in season 4. These aren't things that really tend to happen) so these professional business men bully Nancy for trying to do their jobs for them badly. I think it would have been more realistic for them to just be like "Let the professionals deal with this" but we have to be on Nancy's side about it, so it has to be undeniable that they're prejudice and condescending, which they can be, while also being right. But the duffers can't have anyone being like "That's a good point" to a point against Nancy, because that might make it obvious that Nancy isn't actually the best person to prove their first wave feminist point

I do like the idea of Nancy being a cop. I hadn't considered it before. I'm really big on acab, but narratively it does make sense for her, and it makes sense as a line of logic, and how else is she gonna use her gun skills in regular life in a way that she would really be down for. Most shows I'm more hesitant to be like "This character should be a cop" because, seriously, acab, but with this show I obviously already have to come to terms with Hopper being a cop, and it could be cool for him to take her under his wing in that area

#fandsart #ask #answered asks #anon ask

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