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#just poking fun
jmoonjones · 1 year
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Who knew the Dread Trove would have so many uses?!
Nesta decides to find some answers about plot holes, story moments worthy of side-eye, and her own character arc.
She also has a list of queries from the others including Feyre’s thoughts about her pregnancy journey, and Lucien asking if he did anything to piss her off since his character arc has been quite unfairly mean to him
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mmycosis · 1 month
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fan artist gives john bridgens a tiny nose. 1238909 dead 232374873948 injured
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maid0evil · 1 year
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Muerte/Death: *holds up humanized picture of himself* Not to be a critic but some people go just a bit…over board?
Bunnymund: *holds up one of himself* Welcome to the club mate. We got jackets.
Muerte: Oh Dios mio….
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Ah yes. Soulburner's chronic backache from carrying the first half of season 2 on his back. Of course.
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gender-thief2 · 9 months
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kyman is so funny to me because like that would be SO embarrassing for both of them💀 like imagine beefing with a guy for literally your entire life and then suddenly realizing you like him i would never recover
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ciderbird · 3 months
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academic bias is so funny because you’ll be reading about the same historical event and one person is like “Despite the troubles that befell his homeland and near constant criticism of the court King Blorbo remained strong in the face of adversity” and the other one is like “after letting his people carry the brunt of his cringefail decisions Blorbo the Shitface refused to listen to any reason and continued to be a warmongering piece of shit. Also he was ugly.”
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wake up wintersberg nation
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yournewlodger · 1 year
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Okay, so here are our options:
1. David Tennant is the Fourteenth Doctor because the Jodie Whittaker's Doctor regenerated into him.
2. Ncuti Gatwa is the Fourteenth Doctor because Ten3 does not count.
3. Sacha Dhawan is the Fourteenth Doctor because Jodie Whittaker's doctor regenerated into him.
4. Jodie Whittaker is the Fourteenth Doctor due to the existence of the War Doctor.
5. Peter Capaldi is the Fourteenth Doctor due to the existence of the War Doctor and the time David Tennant regenerated into himself.
6. Matt Smith is the Fourteenth Doctor due to the existence of the War Doctor, and the time David Tennant regenerated into himself, and Jo Martin’s Doctor.
7. David Tennant is the Fourteenth Doctor due to the existence of the War Doctor, and the fact that he regenerated into himself, and Jo Martin's Doctor, and the existence of TenToo.
8. TenToo is the Fourteenth Doctor for the above reasons.
9. Donna Noble is the Fourteenth Doctor for the above above reasons.
10. Both David Tennant and Ncuti Gatwa's Doctors' true numbers are unknowable due to the existence of The Timeless Child.
11. Both David Tennant and Ncuti Gatwa's Doctors' true numbers are unknowable due to the existence of The Timeless Child, and the uncountable amount of times The Twelfth Doctor died and was reborn in Heaven Sent.
12. Both David Tennant and Ncuti Gatwa's Doctors' true numbers are unknowable due to the existence of The Timeless Child, and the uncountable amount of times The Twelfth Doctor died and was reborn in Heaven Sent, and all Doctors seen in noncanon materials are actually canon (Peter Cushing films, Scream of the Shalka, Curse of the Fatal Death, etc...)
13. Both David Tennant and Ncuti Gatwa's Doctors' true numbers are unknowable for all of the above reasons and also because pseudo-Doctors such as The Valeyard and The Dream Lord are also The Doctor.
14. The above is true, but The Doctor is simply a title, and anyone who claims to be The Doctor is also The Doctor. Jackson Lake is The Doctor. Clara is The Doctor. Missy is The Doctor. Graham is The Doctor. Every actor who has played The Doctor are also The Doctor.
15. The above is true, but due to The Egg Theory everyone else is also The Doctor. We are all The Doctor.
16. None of the above is true because no Doctor after the Revival is canon.
17. None of the above is true because no Doctor after the First Doctor is canon.
18. None of the above is true because there is no Fourteenth Doctor. The number was skipped for some reason.
19. The numbering system is flawed and useless to current canon, and we should switch to identifying Doctors by their actors, as we do with The Master. (Example: Hartnell!Doctor)
20. The above is not true because we would still need to find a way to differentiate the 3 - 4 Doctors played by David Tennant.
21. All of the above is technically true, and Russell T Davies should put it up to a poll and see who wins, and we must all commit to the democratic vote.
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fondlyfonding · 2 years
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😞
Spare a thought for those of us who went to msg1 and didn’t get to witness Harry doing things to his microphone, hear medicine or get to see Harry and the rainbow flag in all its glory 💦 💊 🏳️‍🌈
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spacedlexi · 3 months
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i thought we were gonna kiss up here are you still not over your dead girlfriend
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jeeaark · 2 months
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Looking back now, kinda gotta laugh.
Greygold couldn't even convince Yurgir to join their side, so the chances of passing a persuasion check with Orpheus? Doubtful
Maybe other Tavs might still have a chance, but definitely not Greygold.
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moss-on-trees · 1 year
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dp x dc prompt: you're my dad now au
danny goes to the edge of town to brood.
his parents are as hazardous to his safety as ever and jazz keeps calling him from college to convince him to stop being phantom and act like a normal kid. he thinks he deserves the right to vent a little, if only to himself. he doesn't want to bother sam and tucker in the middle of the night again.
"i wish i could have a family i can be honest with. people i wouldn't have to hide injuries from. who would have my back and who would understand i don't patrol in the middle of the night because i want to, but because someone needs to do it," he says with a sigh.
he doesn't notice desiree's out to play until it's too late.
"well, i guess that's one way to get rid of you, ghost boy. your wish is granted!"
and he's teleported right inside the batcave.
well, danny's always been one to roll with the punches.
"hello! it's nice to meet you," he says brightly to a scowling batman. "i guess you're my dad now."
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scuderiakarts · 5 months
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personally I don't think we as a society talk enough about charles calling pierre mon petit
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shopcat · 11 months
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i think in the hamster wheel of my mind a big part of where people go wrong with eddie and his shitty garage band as an extension is that they for some bizarre reason think he's gene simmons metal when he's jack black metal. heavy metal. he's tenacious d metal. he's school of rock. he's stoner lord of the rings metal he nearly wore blue jeans and plaid. jack black literally in real life once said eddie was the best character bc he's heavy metal like him. LOOK AT THIS
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#🍦#answer it's bc people think he's some mishmash of all alternative scenes without any actual knowledge of where the mashing occurs 😭#eddie is . a heavy metal guy. A cool one. a nice one even. he likes rock and roll#it's so funny when ppl try and describe it and they've never heard the stuff he actually listens to in their lives for some reason#literally so much of the appeal of eddie's character within his subculture is that its theatrical and dramatic but its still grounded#he's very alternative and Out There but he's still just some guy. he's not wearing spiked leather jackets#in fact he's not wearing any of the other kinds of leather jackets i've seen people say he would ... TO ME#sts#if u haven't seen the clip he then proceeds to air guitar the MoP melody then shouts heavy metal is everywhere#i don't even know how to explain this bc it's like ... okay#the general .. VIBE? aestheticsm? is kind of similar to what people sometimes portray but they're missing thst it's tongue in cheek#like it's like that buff poster of him being this anachronistic homage to heavy metal album covers#fire and satanic imagery and skulls and lightning and big drama and ROCK AND ROLL#it's rock and ROLL man...#and people r making him this weird sanitised dork LOL 😭 when he's a dork in a different more fun way.. imo#and it's not that those types of people don't exist and that they're not cool in their own way cuz they are sure but that's not THIS GUY#he is an 80S METALHEAD... and yeah i try and ground him in thinfs and poke and prod at it until it fits my own understanding of alternative#scenes better but that's bc i've had a hand in the punk scene for years and years#i dunno sometimes i feel like ppl r just not doing the full potential and then going way too hard in this super specific direction#and he ends up first of all usually just a massive douchebag not sure what that's about. But a guy who he would in canon HATE 😭#YOU ARE MAKING HIM A POSER. is what i'm saying#he is alwyas some guy before he's anything else and before he's that he's a 20 year old loser#you need to reflect this... You need to bottle it. ugh. ugh#so much of this reminds me of the time someone was like he would never wear PLAID#like are you kidding me. are you actually kidding me rn#ppl have this weird arstheticised mostly modern and mostly literallt just eboy Idea of what he'd wear it's crazy to me sorry#also it's ugly#i also think. this is so long lol . anyway . i also think going too ''authentic'' in the 80s metalhead direction also lands u w different#problems. my advice to people trying to write or draw alternative characters is they are People. before they are anything else#🍏
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crystalflygeo · 1 year
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Sweet torture ft. Zhongli + fem!reader
cw/tags: bondage/shibari, muzzle, oral sex (m!receiver), dom/sub dynamics, reader doms in this one ayyy, sub!zhongli, TEASING lots of it, masturbation, sex toy, improper use of geo (lmao).
notes: What did I just write?? We just don't know. I am sorry I saw one (1) fanart of Zhongli wearing a muzzle and went b a l l i s c t i c. Also.... dom!reader hella. This is so filthy and I'm so sleepy.....
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It was torture. You were torturing him.
Zhongli groans, muscles tense as he feels your fingers gently stroking his member. The sudden touch makes him jerk, but the intricate ropework laced around his arms holds him nicely to prevent any more movements and instead keeping them tied at his back.
He couldn't touch you, kiss you, hold you...
A sweet yet deliciously devilish laughter comes out of your lips.
And then you lean down and start giving small kitten licks to his dripping cockhead before your hot, wet mouth starts slowly enveloping him, bobbing your head with lewd wet noises and purposefully drooling all over him. Messy. Obscene. Painfully driving him mad with lust.
“Darling, please.” He moans hoarsely.
You pull back with a smirk “Hmm? Are you about to break your own contract? My dearest Zhongli?”
He huffs and growls, shaking his head.
As easily as he could break out of these ‘restrains’ he had made a deal with you, so all he could do was toss his head back and endure.
And oh… you could definitely see the appeal of being the one in control.
The lord of Geo. The mighty Prime of the Adepti. Bound and muzzled like a feral beast. Squirming under your touch.
You kiss down along the side of his impressive cock, lightly tracing a vein with your tongue and making it twitch. “Hmmm… seems like you’re all ready for me.” Zhongli gasps as your fingers follow the fine trail of hair from his bellybutton down, teasingly. “It’s my turn.”
For a moment he thinks the torture is over and you’re satisfied with your small game. You’ll release his arms, or at least take off the horrible muzzle (“no biting tonight, dearest.”) and allow him to eat you out to his heart’s content.
How wrong he was.
Zhongli’s eyes widen then he scowls and jerks into his restrains again, shuffling on the bed when he sees you pull out one of your toys. He glares at you. You wouldn’t.
You smirk in response. Watch me.
“Relax…” You smile, sickly sweet. Leaning back onto a pillow and spreading your legs. “Just enjoy the show, darling.”
You start by teasing your entrance, gently, slowly. Caressing and pinching at your clit and slowly easing the oiled tip of the object into you. A rather special geo construct of Zhongli’s own creation. Sweet irony.
“Hmmmm…Ah…”
He snarls, glaring at the offending object as you slowly feed the fake cock into your pussy, inch by inch stuffing you as you let out a quiet moan. He knows you wouldn’t be satisfied with such a… crude and lacking replacement, no. He knows you ached for him, his warmth and thickness that could fill you so much more, satisfy you so much better.
You bite your lip and whine as it bottoms out.
“This one is… hah… rather accurate huh? … hng!” You mewl, squeezing your eyes shut as you start pulling it out only to push back in. “A-ah- fu-!”
He tries to keep calm. By Celestia, he tries. But the sight of you, naked and sweaty, presenting yourself so freely and displaying your pleasure, makes it excruciatingly difficult. You rock your hips and moan his name, high-pitched. Getting more and more used to the intrusion and thus increasing the speed.
“Z-Zhongli, baobei” You keen. “Wouldn’t you be a dear and apply a bit of resonance?”
A growl. “I would rather have you myself, my love.”
You let out a breathless chuckle. “Of course. But don’t you want to see me come undone first? We do have a contract and for now you have to do as I sa-a-y Ah! Oh fuck-!”
You bite your lip, whining, eyes rolling back and hips moving on their own when the geo construct indeed starts buzzing low on your hand and inside your pussy. The sensation drives you up to the edge of that high, delicious simmering heat all over your body and pooling at your navel. Feel so good, so good-
“Zhongli, Zhongli, Zhongli-”   
You come with a cry of his name as your body arches away from the mattress, high-strung with pleasure, free hand clawing at the sheets. For a few seconds you lie there basking in the afterglow, chest falling and rising rapidly until you sit up and slowly pull the toy out, shuddering at the wet squelch.
Your gaze sets on the man in front of you, looking absolutely pent-up with sexual frustration. Cock pressed up hard against his abs and smearing tacky precum everywhere.
You scoot up to him with a playful smile, eyes half-lidded as you sit upon his lap. You brush your hand down before bringing it back to run a slick-covered finger over the muzzle, the metal turning shiny and no doubt getting impregnated with the scent of your arousal. You see him open his mouth and pant slightly, sharp fangs on display, nostrils flared, eyes half-lidded and pupils brown wide as he chases the path your finger makes.
Oh, he is absolutely drunk on you.
You place your hands at his shoulders for leverage and this time (finally!) slowly envelop his cock with your warm pussy.
 “Now’s your turn…”
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eli-am-confused · 2 days
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Tim: Oh, officer it’s just awful! He just suddenly dropped dead! I think he had a heart attack or something!
Based on a post made by @gunpowderdtim because I just couldn’t help myself
Bonus:
Marius: Yup, totally dead. Heart attacks am I right? Welp nothing to do about it now, looks like our job here is done.
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