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avissapiens · 3 years

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Avis' Subject Symposium

A Crash Course in Trance Pt 1: Files.

(Art by Acro @sodalite96/https://twitter.com/sodalite96 Used with their permission. Go check them out!)

So often new subjects come to me and they don’t know the first thing about trance. None of its mechanics or methods, and so it can be very daunting for them; to step into such a wide abyss without knowing what to expect and what is expected of you. Many of them, even experienced subjects, expect that 100% of the work is and should be done by the Hypnotist. In truth both parties, the hypnotist and the subject, must be willing and able. But while it’s more readily apparent what must be done in order for a tist to be successful in their endeavors, many subjects/potential subjects can have a hard time understanding what it takes to get the most out of their trance, both from pre-recorded files, and from live sessions with a hypnotist. So, I’m here to give you what is in my opinion, the essential Crash Course to Trance, starting first with trancing to files.

Location

Find yourself somewhere nice, darkened and quiet, where you know you won’t be disturbed. This is already a hard task for a lot of subjects, living with other people always increases the chance that one might barge in on you, eyes glazed over, drooling all over yourself. Or that someone’s reckless pounding from above might shake the abyss so thoroughly that it takes you out of trance. But here is the thing I will stress. While physical quiet is a good idea as it allows you to focus on the words and suggestions streaming into your head. What matters so much more is internal peace and quiet. A location where you can feel at ease and safe and secure in yourself. A locked bedroom surrounded by mountains of pillows. Your favorite plush armchair that threatens to swallow you almost as well as the Abyss of Trance. The peaceful morning route on the train whose path you know so well that you can be lulled into trance just by the rumbling vibrations of the tracks beneath your seat. Wherever you can be comfortable.

The ideal location for trance I'm sure does exist in some government facility or therapists office somewhere, where you can be dropped into an isolation tank and be brainwashed clean. But most of us will never encounter that. So what matters then is the ideal mindset for trance, which is one of peace, safety, trust and assurance.

Equipment

This is one of the reasons so many love using files. Because its barrier to entry is so low. All you really need is something to play the file on and a place to listen. This is in contrast to working directly with a tist where you need, at the very least, A good internet connection, maybe a camera, Another person who you trust and who might be wildly inconsistent. Or working in person which probably will require a whole location and time-table to get set up. No, Files are relatively simple and they are no better or worse than live sessions for certain purposes. However, like all simple things, they can be elevated by improving its ingredients. A box cake from the store and a home-made chiffon are functionally the same, but their difference comes in the ingredients and technique.

So for trance I recommend spoiling yourself a little, at the very least buy yourself some decent quality over-ear headphones. Many file-makers (myself included) add frequencies and binaural beats underneath the main track. These serve the purpose of training your own brain’s waveforms to a certain frequency, thus more easily taking you into trance. But they can only be detected and properly registered with some good headphones. Additionally, The encapsulation of headphones provides a more immersive experience, isolating you and transporting you through the trance experience like you are in your own little world. Trust me. $600 studio headphones aren’t needed, But a good quality wired $40 headset goes a long way and is multi-purpose. A decent quality chair or mattress also will serve you well, not just in trance but in life.

Focus

Trance is a very tricky state that, like all things, requires practice and patience to master. Staying in trance is like a tightrope walk, teetering gently between the realm of consciousness and awareness, and the oblivion of total subconscious and sleep. It is the liminal space between the two, that subconscious space that makes trance and hypnosis possible. It is the state where your mind is most open to total suggestion and where magical things can happen. So how does one walk the line between these two modes of being? The answer is focus. Or rather Half-focus. Focusing without focusing. With descriptions like that it can sound like some kind of Zen riddle, but that is often what it feels like sometimes. Now this is not a laser focus like you would expect in a classroom setting, no one is being tested here. It's a more gentle and subtle focus. Like focusing on the world around you. Focusing on the wind on your face, the rise and fall of your lungs; On the way your body just goes loose and slumps over. The trick is to go in and to follow along, to listen and pay attention and try to comply with the suggestions given at first. Suspend your disbelief and engage with it unironically and without pretense. If you notice yourself drifting, don’t try to force it back to focus. Simply let it explore where it wants and to carry on organically. Nothing in trance needs to be forced. Simply focused on and allowed to happen.

Many subs oscillate in trance, their minds ebbing and flowing like a Sine wave; wavering in and out of trance, one minute aware, the next minute completely blank and asleep, and then for a brief moment in bliss. But it averages out to trance at the end of it. One must also not fear dropping out of trance. Focusing too much on that eventuality makes it a self fulfilling prophecy. Just Focus-not-focus-half-focus and enjoy yourself.

Apprehension

So many subjects look at files and their mind begins to spin with endless questions and anxieties. Worries about “losing themselves” or “changing too much” or “doing things they don’t want to do.�� It’s a valid set of concerns for a new subject, uninitiated in the true mechanics of trance and only knowing of hypnosis what is shown in the media. Evil villains and monsters brainwashing our heroes to do horribly enticing and arousing things. So ingrained is this idea that it even crossed over into the allure of hypnosis files. And while I won’t say it's impossible for that to happen, I have 3 comments on it to ease your mind. First, with Files, one of the best things about it is that the subject gets to control practically every single aspect of the experience. When you do it, how many times you listen, and whether you listen at all to begin with. While all files should be clearly labelled with Content and trigger warnings and given an explicit summary of what they are and what they do, we know that is not the case. The amount of “Mystery files” I've seen on various forums irks me to no end. But it appeals to some people. However, for those who are not particularly fond of surprises you have the absolute power to review the file before you trance to it. You can give it a fully aware walk through, or just jump through segments to look for anything that doesn’t suit your taste.

Once you’ve done that however you might still be conflicted about some content. Not openly averse to it, but unsure. Dumbing down and IQ reduction are probably number one on this list. People are so terrified of somehow losing everything when they learn to stop overthinking things. For these concerns my second point suggests Introspection. Ask yourself “Why do I/Don’t I want this?” “Is it really as bad as my anxiety is making it out to be?” Because if you like something a lot, and really want it, then why should you deny yourself it out of fear? Even aside from dumbing, many desires are tinged with this air of guilt or fear. Terrified to acknowledge or grab hold of what we truly want and own up to it. In my estimation Hypnosis can be one of the best ways of dabbling with those desires because in trance there is no shame or judgement. Finally, my 3rd point says you don’t have to worry. If you really don’t like a suggestion you can always leave it behind. Your mind has built in fail-safes to reject suggestions you haven’t agreed to. A file cannot make you do something unless you want it, at least subconsciously. The old cliche goes “All Hypnosis is Self-Hypnosis” and what that fundamentally means is that as a subject you are the one who decides what happens. You consent and go along with things and allow them to happen to you. It is your desire, your focus, your arousal and your own subconscious that allows hypnosis to work. Subjects have more power than they know. I really hope it assists some people in vibing better with trance and files. I’ll be putting out another version for Live hypnotists later this month.

Thanks again to Acro for letting me use their Art, definitely go and support them on twitter. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences that might help you practice that balance of focus then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server.

#Hypnosis #trance #gay hypnosis #brainwashing #caption #hypnotized #hypnokink

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years

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Nikolay Lives Domestic Bliss Au

the only place he's alive is in our hearts 😭😭 a lot of our hearts though, apparently.

FEMINIST MALEWIFE KING PLES JTEGKRM we're all so used to reading yandere that a man having respect for us turns us feral omg... these yan bois don't know what they're missing out on. if they had just a bit more respectful they could've made it so far 😔 too bad it's not their brain they're using to think with.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH !!!! as a resident childe simp (and childe slanderer depending on the mood), i feel like i know how to write him in a way that will appease the masses . since i write him how i'd want to read him. idk what that means about my taste, but so long as you guys are enjoying it with me, then at least we're all in it together. <3

nikolay and darling: literally just vibing

childe, waking up in the middle of the night, shaking and sweating: something is wrong.

get over your crush already childe it's been years smh...

a new member has joined our ranks!!! welcome comrade.

but really though, i'm happy that you decided to give the story a shot, despite not being a childe connoisseur. i imagine that reading yandere about a character you're not already the most fond of makes you even angrier over what nonsense they decide to pull yrhtjkmgelr

i agree that lil ajax was super precious!!!! definitely one of those cases of going damn... wtf happened to him. this is what falling into the abyss for months does to a mf. darling is going to have a lot of adjustments, the one you mentioned being the most arduous. there's nothing worse than attending a coworker get together with your husband (who you hate) and one of his coworkers starts asking about your kidneys. or whatever dottore does, i don't know much about him.

childe's in the distance going >:(( what about me though? that'd be a most interesting concept though, i've never thought about doing an OC x reader aside from some stuff that's collecting dust in my google drive rtjhnegkmr

this feels like lancer from fate who just always ends up dying in some way or another, no matter the route he's in. perhaps nikolay will meet a similar fate... cursed by the time gods to always be cucked by a yandere. there are few destinies worse than this. tbh the aspect of writing an OC for reader-inserts that takes the most time is giving them a name so like... this is actually tempting. i can write their entire personality/backstory no problem, but thinking of a name?? near impossible. why is it so universally difficult for everyone...?

PFFFF you know i was thinking of first contract zhongli right away as soon as a lot of the asks/comments related to nikolay. they can both mourn being ignored together or something. considering the stuff they do in their respective stories, it's not like they don't deserve it.

#sweet asks #answered #Anonymous

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whosscruffylooking · 3 years

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The Purest Things: Wingmen (Aaron Hotchner x Female BAU! Reader)

this is based on season 10 episode 10 “amelia porter”

Warnings: None. Pure Fluff.

A/N: I am so beyond obsessed with the mutual pining. Initially, this was going to be one part, but I have to slow burn the heck out of this, so it'll be a few parts. Enjoy!

The Purest Things Masterlist

august 2014

Bookend: "You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever." – Love & Other Drugs

I walk into the jazz club, searching for Rossi. For the past year and a half, we have frequented this classy establishment, bonding over our shared passion for jazz and fine liquor. We come here every Friday unless the job keeps us away. It's a form of escapism that I have grown to cherish deeply. With a job like ours, finding something to look forward to each week, some semblance of a routine is crucial.

I stroll over to “our” booth, but instead of seeing David’s familiar face, it's that of the Unit Cheif. I throw my head back and laugh, “Of all the people I could have expected to see here...you were not one of them.”

Don't get me wrong; I'm not upset to find him here. I could never get enough of him. I see him nearly every day of the week, I have weekly movie nights with Jack, and Aaron and I have been to hell and back with each other over the years.

He shakes his head and smirks, “What can I say? I'm full of surprises.”

“So tell me Aaron Hotchner, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this evening?”

“David Rossi, ” he emphasizes.

“So you’ve been recruited as one of his wingmen too huh?”

“Apparently so.”

“Well I'm glad you're here.” I slide into the booth next to him.

He glides his cup in circles along the tablecloth, “Me too.”

“May I pry?” I inquire.

He nods, “You may.”

“Why exactly are you here? Believe me, I'm thrilled you're joining us, but David and I have been coming here for over a year. Why'd he invite you now?”

His shoulders tense up, and then he inhales deeply, the tension releasing when he exhales.

“If I'm being completely honest, I think it has something to do with the fact that Beth and I are no longer together.”

“Oh my God, Hotch. I'm so sorry, I didn't know.”

Aaron looks up at me; the professional man, the profiler I'm so familiar with, is gone. Instead, he looks at me with the eyes of a vulnerable man, someone who loves so passionately and craves that same love in return. This isn't the first time he's looked at me with those eyes, and I pray that it is not the last time. If it were anyone else, the prolonged eye contact would deter me; my glance would dart in the other direction. But, for years, I have savored these intimate moments with him. I'm not exactly sure when this connection began or when it deepened to the awareness we now have of one another.

Most likely, it began shortly after Haley’s death, when I started to spend more time with Jack or those late nights working in the office with him. Maybe it was that time I brought him his favorite coffee and bagel to his house because I knew he wouldn’t feed himself otherwise.

(Aaron’s P.O.V.)

I gaze at her with utmost fascination. She is a mystery I have never been able to solve, a profile I cannot complete. She is whole, a pillar of strength for our team, her family, me, and Jack. Yet, there is a fear within her that mimics a young child scared of the monsters that are both imagined and real. She’s seen and experienced things that no one her age should have to witness. I can see through the worn expression on her face. She’s holding herself together for the sake of everyone around her, but inside she’s slowly falling apart. All I want is to help mend those crumbling pieces and hold her together. She doesn’t realize that she has been doing that very thing for me for the past four years.

In my life, I have had the opportunity to love deeply and freely. But two of those loves stand in realms of their own. The first time I fell in love, it was with an opposite. A precious, symbolic tale of love and loss.

With Beth, I did love her. She gave me the strength to feel something again after Haley died. I found the ability to move forward with hope and recognition that I deserve happiness once again.

The second great love came in the form of a mirror. We share an empathy, an understanding of the fundementals of life and love that shapes our individual values. I was far from perfect when we met; I was detached, damaged, and hopeless. I felt like I was barely a man. Truth be told, I won’t be perfect after the fact either. But, she gives me a sense of realness that I never perceived as possible. And since the day we met before I even accepted the actuality of my affections for her, I strove to better myself. Every day since, and for the rest of my life, I want to work every day to be the man she deserves and needs.

Awakening from my trance, I speak up, “I am grateful every day for the relationship I had with Beth. I truly did love her. I love her still for the person she helped me become. I realized, through her, that I can choose to move forward with my life.”

“You deserve to be happy, Aaron,” she interjects.

“Some time ago, Rossi came into my office encouraging me to start dating again. He reminded me that Haley wouldn’t want me to avoid moving on. Of course, my immediate instinct was to deny that I was guilty of just that. But he was right. He told me that I am no good to anyone when I’m miserable.”

She throws her head back and laughs, “Miserable? No, I wouldn’t call you that. Slightly uptight? Absolutely.”

I gasp, exaggerating a look of offense, “I’m hurt.”

She touches my arm, and I can feel my heart stop for a beat. Something about her touch elevated my heart and soul to another plain. It’s as if her small hand on my forearm revealed the certainty I had been searching for.

I chuckle, “Don’t worry. David and I came to the same conclusion.”

“Phew,” she breathes out a sigh of relief, “Good because I didn’t know how I was going to dig myself out of that hole....but please, continue what you were saying.”

I take a deep breath, “When you and I met I had already lost my entire world. Haley had just recently taken Jack, we were fighting constantly, and then...” I feel my eyes beginning to sting, and I realize that she hasn’t taken her grip off my arm once she squeezes it reassuringly.

“When Haley died, it felt like I was staring into an abyss. After the funeral, you found me alone, in some room that I had escaped to for some solace. But I didn’t feel any relief. And then, you came in. You sat across from me, and we just sat in silence. Somehow though, more was said in that silence than I had ever dared to utter out loud to someone. You didn’t know it then, but you saved me that day. You saved Jack too.”

I hear her short intake of breath and look over to see her lip beginning to tremble.

“Aaron...”

As much as I want to hear her melodic voice speak to me now, when I am most unarmed, a feeling that is entirely foreign to me, I have never felt so driven to yell from the top of my lungs a profession of love for this woman.

I begin to speak again, and I am immediately interrupted by Rossi, accompanied by the jazz singer hooked on his arm.

“La mia bella ragazza! Finalmente sei arrivato,” he says, kissing the top of her head. She blushes slightly, her eyes flickering to me briefly.

“You are a sight for sore eyes my dear. Is she not Aaron?”

I take a sip of my drink, glancing at y/n, her beautiful y/e/c sparkling back at me. How can anyone put into words just how beautiful she is?

I nod, “She is indeed.”

I’m suddenly made aware of the absence of her touch on my arm. How can someone’s touch both simultaneously have such a stronghold on you and also set you free? Regardless of the reason, I long to savor that feeling once again.

“Well,” she inches out of the booth, “I’m going to get a drink. Can I get you boys anything?”

We shake our heads in unison. Rossi suggests that his date join her.

He places his hand on my shoulder, “So? Any progress made?”

“I don’t want to overwhelm her. There’s so much I want to say. But I feel like I’ve put her through enough already. I’m an old man Dave. I’m a widower with a son. The damage I’d be asking her to cope with, the burden I’d be subjecting her to...”

David clears his throat and slips his phone out of his pocket. He swipes through some photos in his camera roll and lands on a photo of y/n and me. It’s from a cocktail party he hosted a few years ago. Jack, y/n, and I are sitting on the grass in Rossi’s backyard playing with dandelions. I can still hear their laughter filling the air: Jack’s squeals and y/n’s child-like giggles. We felt like a family. I would give anything to relive those moments of genuine bliss, to feel that sensation of being complete, heart, mind, and soul once more.

“Sometimes,” Rossi begins, “when people are destined to be together, their love grows over an undetermined span of time. It could be months, weeks, even years. You both may feel the shared pain of this rollercoaster called life and the hurt that comes from being separated from one another, but this helps you better grasp the priceless value and purity of the love you share. There is no easy road to love. Anyone who claims otherwise is doomed to be plagued by the mediocrity that is a false sense of security. The path you are on, Aaron is the one walked by the greatest lovers in history. In layman’s terms, don’t screw this up.”

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mage-ellie · 3 years

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Let Me Hold you

Someone please stop me from watching sad Akechi videos on youtube. They just make my heart hurt ;; Wrote this in like an hour so it isn't the greatest, but I had to get it out of my system hfasdkjfk. I've been dreaming about him a lot recently. I love him too much hhh. Sorry for disappearing on here. I’ve been focusing on my Akechi x reader book so I haven’t been doing any oneshots, but I needed a break so expect a few Akechi oneshots!

Akechi x fem!reader book: Click me!

Original post: Click me!

Work count: 1273

Content: Mild angst, fluff, cuddling, established relationship, 3rd semester Akechi.

The slight squeak of the front door to your apartment opening prompted you to lift your head, glancing at the man in the tan peacoat who was entering, carrying that famous briefcase of his. His eyes immediately landed on your form, which was comfortably splayed out on the couch in front of the TV. Even though you were so far away from him, you could see the exhaustion on his face. There were dark bags under his eyes and his shoulders were slumped.

"Welcome home Goro." You mumbled sleepily, happy that he had finally returned. He had gotten home later than usual today.

"Good to be home." He hummed, hanging up his peacoat on the coat rack and removing his shoes, leaving them by the door. Goro swiftly approached you to join you on the couch to watch some late night television, but he stopped before he sat. "Do you have to take up the entire couch?" He sighed, giving you an exhausted look. Those kinds of looks from him used to intimidate you at first, but at this point, you were pretty sure that you had him figured out. His harsh tone and annoyance filled words had no effect on you.

"Come here." You said, rolling onto your back and opening your arms to him, beckoning him to lay on top of you so you could cuddle. He just frowned slightly and narrowed his eyes, looking like he wasn't having any of it.

"Y/n please move. I'm not in the mood." He said, despite the fact that he was staring intensely at your open arms.

"Pretty please." You responded, smiling up at him and opening and closing your hands. "I want to cuddle." You pleaded, giving him your best puppy eyes. That tired glare never left his face as he continued to stare down at you. Although, his crimson eyes darted from one of your hands to the other.

"I'm not asking again. Move or I'll go watch TV in our room." He rebuked, any remaining patients of his seeming to be gone. He wasn't the only one who was running out of patience. Despite the furrowing of his eyebrows, the narrowing of his eyes, and the frown that graced his lips, you could see the longing glittering in his striking maroon eyes. You loved him dearly, but even you could only handle his hardass attitude for so long before giving up.

"Damn it Goro. Come here." You commanded, tired of the tough guy act he often tried to use on you. The look in his eyes made it obvious to you that he wanted to join you, but that insecure part of him that thought you didn't mean what you said was still holding him back from expressing what he wanted. You didn't like snapping at him, but it usually did the trick to get the fact that you meant what you said through the thick fog of insecurity and fear that clouded his heart.

The young detectives eyes widened and his pupils dilated, a brief look of shock colored his face before he moved to do what you said. He carefully climbed on top of you and laid himself over your body, pressing his face against the crook of your neck. You arched your back, pushed your chest into his as he wrapped his arms around your back, squeezing you with an iron grip. You hooked your right leg around his waist and laid your left legs over his, touching as much of his body as you could.

You carefully threaded your fingers through his hair, gently untangling it and massaging his scalp with one hand, and ran your other hand up and down his spine. Goro couldn't hold back the soft hum of contentment that vibrated from his throat. He nuzzled your neck softly as you leaned your head against his, occasionally kissing him.

"Sorry." He breathed against your neck, making you shiver slightly. Both of your hands stopped moving after he spoke due to the small amount of shock that filled your veins. His apology had caught you off guard. "I'm trying." He said softly, curling up his body slightly. You could feel your heart shatter in your chest. You knew that he was trying, although occasionally, you had to give him a push to get him to where he wanted to be.

"It's okay." You hummed in his ear, clinging to him tighter than you were a moment ago. Even though there were still moments where his insecurities won, he was doing a lot better than when you first became a couple. You recalled him still attempting to be princely, despite the fact that you knew his true self. "I love you Goro." You finished, going back to playing with his hair and rubbing his back.

"I love you too." He huffed into your shoulder, words muffled by your shirt and neck.

Time flew by as you held Goro with all your might, reveling in the warmth his body provided in the cold air of your apartment. The soft mumbling of whatever was playing on your TV drowned out your sense of time as you savored this moment. Before you knew it, it was nearly midnight, and Goro had work in the morning.

"We should head to bed soon." You mumbled, shaking Goro slightly since you were pretty sure he had fallen asleep. All he did was grumble in response, not even attempting to move. "Goroooo." You groaned and attempted to shimmy yourself out from under him. You managed to roll on your side, but he slid behind you and curled his body around yours, trapping you in the little spoon position.

One of Goro's arms was hooked around your waist, the other was pressed against your chest, keeping you firmly pressed against him. As nice as this position was, you wanted to lay down on your comfortable bed. The couch was starting to hurt your back.

"Goro please." You groaned again, slapping a hand against his thigh and struggling a bit.

"You're the one who wanted to cuddle." He teased, clinging to you like his life depended on it. He was gripping handfuls of your shirt, locking you in place.

"We can continue cuddling in bed. I'm getting sore." You mumbled, twisting in his arms and wiggling a bit. Finally, you managed to sit up with Goro still holding onto you. You pulled the young man off the couch with you and nearly fell over when he didn't immediately stand on his own two legs. For a moment, he pressed his entire weight against you, making you squeak before he got his footing. You both shuffled to your shared bedroom, Goro keeping his arms around you the entire time.

Once you reached your bed, you climbed in, pulling the touch starved boy with you. You both collapsed onto the plush mattress, bouncing a bit before you settled under the sheets. Goro let go for only a second as he pulled the blankets up to your shoulders. During that second, you rolled over and wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your face into him. You gently planted a kiss on his neck as he once again pulled you closer to him.

"Goodnight Y/n." He said softly, pressing his lips against your head.

"Goodnight Goro." You responded, tangling your fingers into his hair. The scent of cinnamon and autumn filled your nose as you drifted into the blissful abyss. The soft pressure of Goro's lips against your face was the last thing you felt before your consciousness faded.

#goro akechi #goro akechi x reader #goro akechi lives #gender neutral #fluff #cuddling #mild angst #persona 5 #persona 5 royal

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richardofarms · 3 years

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Just a thought. What if our concept of heaven and the final judgment of our soul is real but also wrong. Picture this. What if in the far future we make a heaven. advancements in technology are so great and humanity is still around we come up with a way to save our race from the decay and entropy of the universe as it ages and collapses into an abyss. Passing the event horizon of a black hole time slows and humans found how to circle it indefinitely. A digital afterlife has already been established a long time ago and they want to take it one step further. A type of computer is created where its computational powers are so great it can recreate a human mind. What if it can recreate every configuration of a human mind ever. Creating a simulation that thinks its you and with all probability and iterations has all your memories too. With infinite combinations you will be reborn as a digital mind an artificial soul that is just as good as the original. Maybe when you die your soul drifts away to wander the universe. Maybe with the creation of this intelligence the Sequence of numbers Does something more profound and has the essence of you. The equation put forth calls to you and the universe attracts you. After death you awaken to the a bright light and a voice calling you to the pearly gates along with everyone else who has ever been. The super computer or the hive mind of humanity or the techno god we just created knows your mind and your heart because it created you. Is it a loving God or cold running program modeled after us? what if it judges that you are worthy of joining the collective. You are in a digital paradise where everything you've ever wanted or dreamed about is true.. you're there with everyone and its pleasure on demand. What If you are not chosen? You are trown back into the chaos of the end of time. Into non-existence because the dark things you've done shouldn't be present in the perfect utopia of eternity where a second is a trillion years and bliss is but a thought that fulfills your every desire. You are erased from the human collective who are dancing for eternity on a dying star.

#art #dark #rtm #spoken word #thoughts #thought #universe #god #computers #quantum #black hole #stars #eternity #technology #you #me #us #entropy #heaven #hell #idea #ideas #writing #dancing

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orangegreet · 3 years

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No Minor Miracles | Chapter 7

A Week in Autumn | Part Two

In which we see the other half of a week of bliss and Aleksander embarks on a quest for answers, entering the Fold to journey to the other side.

Aleksander found himself once again at the threshold of The Fold. The black horse pawed the ground, waiting for his master to urge him forward.

Through the tether he felt Alina, her pulse was a beacon on the other side of the dark curtain.

Years he respected her request to stay on his side of the world. Years of restraint at her request. Her plans deserved respect.

And his own? Would she pretend this was not a severe slight to his dignity? Could she pretend not to have known he had plans of his own?

Alina left him no other choice.

He pulled from the center of his being and crossed into the Fold.

Three Weeks Earlier

The sun was slow to rise on their first morning. Or it was simply that his mind had dialed everything back to a crawl.

He relaxed naked with Alina pulled close to him to savor the softness of her skin and ran long strokes down her side.

Her eyes were closed and as he watched her slow breaths he thought about what he had seen, the power which surged between them.

Strong enough to break the world open. Strong enough to create a new one. It was present just under their skin. Even now, in the quiet hours of the morning.

His fingertips grazed the side of her breast and then down to caress the supple cheek of her bum. Gently, he lifted her leg and wrapped it over his hip.

She sighed a lazy smile and pressed her hips to his. His hardened cock nestled in the warm blanket of her folds and his own eyes closed on a lengthy inhale.

Alina’s breaths slowed again after a minute or two.

Aleksander let his long fingers thread into her black locks as he considered what he would do to keep her. They began the week knowing they would only have five days together.

Before these last few years, he contented himself that she could do as she pleased on her side of the world and he on his.

It was different now. Alina was growing in her power, collecting amplifiers and keeping secrets.

Inside himself was an undeniable call to conquer her. To press himself into her and over her and bring her to submission beneath his rule. No more of her secrets. They would not survive his efforts.

Alina was his equal, the only one who could truly match him. She strived against him as he strived against her and in their duel they both found some otherworldly satisfaction.

How could he go back after this?

His cock twitched, catching on the slick opening of her folds. A sweet whimper escaped her mouth and he watched her face as he sank into her.

“Sasha,” she said. Her eyes were still closed and her voice was tired.

He shushed her and used his free hand to clamp her thigh in place. The arm trapped under her bent to grab her hair and push her toward him in offering.

Rocking into her with long, deep strokes, he watched the movement play over her face. The serene look slowly scrunching into frustration. She moved closer but he held her in place.

“Aleksander.” She chastised.

“I already told you, Alina,” his hand drifted from her thigh and down to her soaking core. “I promised to drive you to insanity.”

Long fingers gathered up the drips escaping around his cock and he began to massage the inner lips around her opening, drawing his fingers up to her clitoris on every outward stroke and then back again as he rocked in deep.

On the third pass she began to instinctively squeeze him along with the press of his fingers.

“Good girl,” he breathed. “It brings me great pleasure to see how wet I can make you, solnyshka.”

The rhythm was maddeningly controlled and Alina reached for his shoulders. Aleksander tightened his hand in her hair and stopped moving altogether. She whined.

“I think not, little Sankta. I will decide where your hands go for now.”

When she did not respond, his hand twisted her hair a little more and she moaned.

“Decide then, Darkling.” He chuckled at the bite in her voice and pinched her clit to hear her small yelp.

“You can hold those gorgeous little breasts up for me. I want them presented.” She glared at him but the dark expanse of her pupils told him she was enjoying it.

Alina did as instructed and Aleksander resumed his rhythm, adding into his routine an alternating, suckling kiss to each nipple on every in stroke.

When she came, she disobeyed him, her hands leaving her breasts to grasp his pecks where she dug in with a clawing grip.

He growled and gave her a punishing kiss as he was spurred to a rut.

He relished the wetness of her cunt as it worked to crush his relentless cock. Her fingers sunk deeper into his pecks and his little saint growled at him, “Do not stop, Sasha.” Light surged from her skin and Aleksander refused to look away. She was a goddess in her pleasure.

The instinctive urge to smother it, to keep her locked away for no one but him came raging through his gut and he countered it only by focusing on his rhythm.

“Give me another, Alina.” He commanded. She screamed as she came and he had to clench his jaw to keep from moving, cock resting deep inside her while she rippled around him.

His lips found her ear and she trembled as he whispered, “Only I can give you this, it is mine.” He felt her nod and pressed deeper into her until she keened, “Say it. Tell me your pleasure is mine. Only for me.”

Her voice rasped between them in the wake of her scream, “Yours, Aleksander. It is yours alone.”

His eyes closed and he shuddered as he moved again. Her fingers clawed his pecks in reminder and she spoke, “Now give me what is mine.”

He would have grinned if he weren’t so close, instead a snarl was wrenched from his throat as he spent himself in her.

Her kiss softened under his mouth and he continued stroking into her until she gave him another shuddering whimper and came around him again. Her hands unfurled, rubbing over his reddened pecks to soothe the skin.

Between their two joined bodies, the tether was made manifest. The post coital haze settled over them as they watched the electricity crack and wane with the tendrils of shadow.

The tether stretched taut as a harp string and when it was plucked it vibrated and sang out an ancient note that carried them back into the beginning of time or perhaps the future or even somewhere else entirely.

It was hard to say for sure and the experience in the abyss was drugging and dreamlike. Aleksander, filled with Light and euphoria and in his arms Alina cooled with the blanket of Shadow and a blissful, angelic gaze on her face.

The tether did not always appear between them. After the first couple of days it hardly mattered because the euphoria settled over them far beyond the usual fog of pleasure either way.

They were Light and Shadow pressed against each other, dragging each other ever deeper toward the Making at the Heart of the World where their elements mingled and their lines of dominion were blurred.

When Alina squeezed herself around him, it was his Shadows she manipulated, licking up his spine. As he pulsed within her, it was her Light which poured from his palms where he held her, pressing sunshine back into her skin.

When the first two days had passed, the tinge of desperation thickened between them. Their time was already running out.

Aleksander was woken from sleep by the slick sensation of Alina’s tongue dragging over the head of his cock. It took less than a minute of comprehension before he began twisting a hand in her locks to take control.

She smiled around him and when he was deep enough that her nose brushed the black hair around his base, she gifted him a vibrating groan from her throat.

Aleksander hardly let her finish a solitary walk around the garden before he woke from his nap and called for her.

When she returned, it was to a maddened Darkling with sleep mussed hair and wild eyes who immediately pushed her over the chaise by the window and filled her without so much as a kiss to her mouth.

“Thought you…were gone,” he grunted, gripping her hips as he stroked into her with a building rhythm. Her arm curled behind her to pull at the nape of his neck and he bit her shoulder in rabid desolation.

She cried out and took it all for him, disjointed words falling from her lips. “Here, Aleksander. Here and yours. Only yours.”

The desperation ebbed and flowed and they enjoyed many rounds which were sweet and quiet followed by rounds of wild passion which stretched both of their limits for an urgent pleasure-pain and unending stamina.

The experience for them both to be allowed to exercise their powers during sex was new. Neither had let go in this way before; it was freeing and powerful. It fed them. It spurred them forward. It depleted them and they ate upwards of five times a day.

Alina dripped down his shaft with her core and lifted her hips again, bouncing on his lap once more. She took her pleasure with a vicious smile on her face and intensified her rays in the room. Her eyes locked on the beads of perspiration gathering at his neck.

“Determined to make me sweat, are you Sol Koroleva?”

He clasped her ass, savoring in the pert little globes with a hardy squeeze.

He changed the pace abruptly with a swift impaling.

Her yell was hoarse and he smirked at her before claiming her mouth again. Their tongues met in a duel producing twin groans.

She bit his lip and then sat back from him, letting cool air enter into the space between their chests. “Yes, actually. Maybe I want to see how wet I can make you for a change.” She winked at him.

His pace stammered for a moment and then Aleksander threw his head back in laughter. His eyes crinkled and his nose did too and she had never seen such happiness break over his face, completely unbridled. Alina reveled in it with wide eyes.

Her gaze found his exposed neck, dewy both from his efforts and her sunlight. She licked a line up from his collar to his jaw and his laughter choked in his throat.

The third evening they sprawled naked on the rug in front of the fire picking food from a tray and sipping kvas. Alina leaned against Aleksander’s chest and idly stroked his naked thighs while they talked, delicately, about their day-to-day lives.

“Visitors to Os Alta arrived the day before I left the city. It seems the esteemed West Ravkan General seeks to wed and pretends to ask permission of the King. Though what he is really doing here is sealing off supply lines to the east. Ensuring Fjerda has no one to rely on except West Ravka.”

Her eyes were half lidded as she trailed her fingers up around his throat, lingering in the hollow between his collarbones.

His palm rubbed over her wrist while he talked. She hummed to show she was listening.

Their week was more than half over now and the thought caused him to clutch at her wrist briefly.

The more time passed with her where he did not somehow push her away, the more anxious he became of pushing her away.

It was like him to ruin things.

So he continued speaking about menial things, the happenings in court, the arguments over trade and shipping. Each sentence invited her deeper into his confidence and he prayed to her that she would like it there.

It felt reminiscent of their first month together. Conversations over food and greedy touches.

“The Tsar and his son have been holding meetings with Shu Han.” Her hand stilled over his thigh and she clutched at the muscle there.

It was a risk to bring the conversation in this direction but he felt assured that Alina was on the other side of the Fold his plans were so immediate—the notion that she could disrupt them was laughable.

Aleksander desired her confidence and her partnership much more in this moment.

“I know,” he answered her unspoken panic and resumed his hold on her arm, stroking her with a soothing palm. “They plan to marry Vasily off to a princess.” He cleared his throat.

“Once they do that, they will have the might of the Shu Han army behind them. They plan to end the war with the Fjerdans for good. The Second Army—me included—will no longer be of use.”

Aleksander’s tone was light but his menace lurked beneath the words.

“Sasha��” Alina began with caution.

“Shh, I am not worried, solnyshka. I have endured the treachery of Tsars far worse than the one currently occupying the throne.” Alina turned to look at him but he continued speaking, moving on from the matter entirely.

She let him.

She settled against his chest and took a few gulps of her kvas as she watched the flames lick the logs in the hearth. Alina appeared lost in thought but he continued on, cherishing just these moments of normalcy between them.

He imagined the day when they would share this from the privacy of their chambers in the Grand Palace.

“Kerch leaders advise they are in Os Alta to fortify their university with endowments in exchange for intelligence on the military movements of Shu Han. Meanwhile they continue to turn a blind eye to the slave traders blatantly moving Grisha through their ports like cattle. So long as they can skim a bit off the top and funnel it right back to their noble studies and indentured servitude—“

Alina rolled onto him, straddling his hips and engaging his mouth with a fierceness he did not know could exist in someone so exquisite. His arms, long as they were closed around each half of her back and pressed her bare chest flush with his.

She clutched at his face and took control of his mouth with her tongue and for once he was the one who whimpered.

Despite the intensity of his arousal, he forced himself to open his eyes. He had to see her, study the look of her just for a moment to ensure this was real.

She looked wrecked. Eyes clasped shut and brow furrowed, breathing out of her nose so she could stay connected. To him.

The Darkling, of all people.

His insides pulsed and he moved his hands down her naked body. Enjoying the freedom and power she lorded over him.

This was something he could savor.

It was a struggle to remain pliable to her will. The animal inside them both was riled and her need to have to control was palpable through it.

He wanted to rile her. To take it from her. To fight with her for it.

Instead he channeled his energies into the points of connection between them. With his mouth he paid tribute to her voracity. To the words that carved him open and buried themselves into soul.

His tongue stroked against hers and he broke away only to say a prayer into the skin of her throat.

The words were too soft for her to hear and she was too lost to the moment to collect them. Her hands were buried in his hair and she held him, guiding his lips down her throat and to her chest.

His eyes rose to hers, watching her rocking above him, over him, in earnest. Her fingers tightened on his hair and he growled in pleasure, letting her guide him to her nipples, a dark blushing pink erect against her skin.

They came together in a flurry of movement after that, pausing only for Aleksander to take control back from her. He pushed her onto her back and locked his mouth to hers while he spilled onto her stomach and breasts, marking her for his own.

She cried out in response when his fingers filled her. Alina watched his half lidded eyes as she rubbed his cum into her skin and let him bring her over the edge again with his hands.

The rays of borrowed Light glowed, if dimly, from his palms and they both beheld the miracle without the need to exchange words.

Three Weeks Forward

Aleksander held these memories in the center of his body as he navigated the Shadow Fold on his wary horse.

Struggling against his growing hate of Alina, he pressed deeper into their connection knowing the closer he felt to her, the easier it would be to access her Light for his use.

He could not afford for it to abandon him in here.

Volcra were gathering around the perimeter of his sphere of borrowed Light and he focused on keeping the glow at the cost of moving more slowly than he liked.

Alina knew. She knew in front of the fire with him that she had plans in motion to take out the Tsar. The temptation to linger on that betrayal almost cost him as the Light flickered and he pushed his thoughts back toward a safer memory.

Her face as she conjured her Light. Her breath when she came. Her eyes when she looked at him before they parted.

Feasting and greedy and anguished—a reflection of his, no doubt.

With this memory arming him, he exited the Fold as the sun was coming up over a cloudy morning.

It was lucky the fog was obscuring his figure and he made it to the cover of trees to change clothes. Donning civilian attire would be far safer for him in this territory.

West Ravka did not know what he looked like but a jet black kefta would be a dead giveaway.

He climbed back onto his horse and let the tether guide him toward Alina. Now he did not need her Light, he could go back to feeling the fury of resentment pulsing in his veins.

The Tsar’s treachery he knew and expected. This act from Alina was an egregious insult to endure.

It was on the outskirts of Novokribirsk that he closed in on her. He had tied up his horse outside of town and barely spared a thought of worry of anyone stealing it.

The return journey home would figure itself out. He had much to work out before he would leave this time.

Aleksander could feel she was close by when he saw the large crowd gathered in the square. A makeshift stage at their center captured their attention and men in uniform stood before the crowd. They answered whatever was said with raucous cheers and finally Aleksander recognized the highly decorated man on the stage.

General Zlatan of West Ravka littered the propaganda posters the Darkling had collected in his War Room at the Little Palace. Smuggled by his army on their return missions from this side of the Fold and accompanied by intel of the movements of this other General.

“Dear people of West Ravka. I know I am not alone when I decry the injustice of the poverty of our people. The Tsar sits on the other side of our divided land, stealing our hard earned money to line the halls of his Palace in Os Alta even while our people starve. His attempts to send supplies to our people are mediocre and cruel—failing half of the time under the unyielding and merciless creatures of the Fold.”

The people shouted their anger and Aleksander felt the tether inside him pluck. He watched the General on the stage and suddenly he knew what would happen.

Alina had just had the Tsar assassinated but these people did not yet know. They did not know their tyrant was dead. He felt her close by now and her fury was palpable.

Alina was about to take out the West Ravkan General as well.

West Ravka would have a vacuum of leadership. All would descend into chaos and Aleksander still could not see her. His panic was rising.

He climbed onto the wooden crates in the entrance of an alley, determined to spot her before she could act.

“It is time to denounce the Tsar—to denounce the rule he has over this land and this people. He does not know us, he cannot lead a people whom he does not know and he does not fight for.”

The crowd cheered again and many raised their hands in the symbol of West Ravkan victory. Aleksander searched frantically but could not spot her.

Did she not understand she would create a martyr on this side of the Fold? She should have told him. He could have helped her.

“I know you. I fight for you, my people.” He smiled at them all and then gave them a grave look.

“The final straw for me came when just a few weeks ago, I braved the journey through the Fold—something our Tsar has never once attempted—to ask him permission to take a wife.”

The crowd whooped and whistled and Aleksander felt an unexpected surge of anxiety from within. He stopped looking for Alina in the crowd. His eyes rested on the General and his breathing faltered.

“The Tsar has refused my request.” The crowd booed mercilessly and Zlatan looked behind him, extending a hand.

Alina stepped forward, the picture of poise and grace. She did not smile but her head was held high and she looked on the people with a soft gaze.

“Many of you know Sankta Anya by name and by deed.” Reverent whispers rippled through the crowd and several people touched their hands to their heads, then hearts in reverence.

“She is a daughter of West Ravka. She is a living saint to thousands who have been fed by her. She has mothered and taught the orphaned youth of West Ravka. She has brought stability and prosperity back to crop lands through the power of her prayers alone. She is your saint and I am here to assure you all that she will, one day, be your Queen.”

“Anya will be my wife, whether the Tsar approves or not.” Zlatan smiled at her, “Together we will bring about a Golden age of prosperity and liberation for all of West Ravka.”

Aleksander did not hear the sound of the cheering crowd. His breathing halted altogether.

Over the heads of thousands of people, Alina’s eyes locked with his. Her fear swirled into the swell of his anguish.

His chest tore open and the alley around him filled with a tidal wave of darkness.

#darklina fic #darklina fanfic #darklina #alina x aleksander #alina starkov #aleksander morozova #smut #smut session #plot twist #power dynamics #politics #eventual hea #mutual pining #grishaverse #the grisha trilogy

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alivingstillness · 3 years

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Divine desire - a non-dual view

“There is no doubt that I am that God who is the Self of all; Pure, indivisible, like the sky. Naturally stainless.” - The Avadhoota Gita.

From un-manifest to manifest. Unity without union. All is sprung from the same source, that is Brahman with his ever shining formless and all-pervasive grace. Everything that is contained inside and outside of our universe also lies as latent forces of infinite possibility within the God-Self. When we experience ourselves as the eternal witnessing awareness behind superimposition of the senses, we drop engagements with changing surroundings and bring ourselves closer to the realization of our infinite divinity abiding as Self.

Like the jewel in the lotus, the Self is found in the path of wisdom and as Vilāya (dissolution) of it. It is untainted consciousness that contains everyone, every being and non-being, everywhere, anywhere. It is pure beingness holding within itself all our individual sorrow, happiness, pain and love.

There is no experience for anyone or anything that is not contained within the Self-consciousness, meaning that all that is created within and from it is also itself, pure Self-consciousness. God as God - Self as Self. In it there can ultimately be no contact or relationship between one and the other because it is to its very core one and the same. It is a union without divisions to unite, for it contains all.

If there were to be a comparison to this divine union, it would be that of the boundaryless love between two beings where the one is dissolved in the two as the none. Let us say then that love lies behind and within all of life, form, experience etc. that we may perceive.

Now for this consciousness that is always resting as infinite aware Self, to simultaneously be having dual experiences as; me, you, dog, anger, stone, water, ..well anything that is, it must be so, that within all possibilities that are contained within human perception, they are also perceived within pure eternal Self.

“Desire is a root cause for suffering.” -The Buddha

Desire, however it may or may not play out, is an indication that something can be fulfilled by something else. In the same way as a girl might desire approval and recognition from her parents, a man who feels unfulfilled in his relationship might desire another lover. We may for example desire for pain to disappear or for food to give us bliss. Desire implies wanting to change. And change implies that there is something that can be changed. In a similar way creation itself contains opposites or polarities. We can think of atoms, magnetic fields, men and women. In creation there is movement and exchange between negative and positive forces that together create a new intertwined field of existence. But let us not lose ourselves completely in this concept of creation for we have to keep in mind that there is something that not only underlies positive and negative force, but that is the very content of both. Again, all is both within and acting as one and the same love-consciousness-Self. But there is also the perceived reality that Self, when veiling itself with itself, (even though it is still pure undivided and untainted consciousness), also contains that which is unconscious and unconsciousness does not seem to be conscious.

Remember that the Self-consciousness is the witness that is stillness itself, in and beyond the change or movement. Resting as pure being like a mind that is perfectly still and free from sense-expression or invested in perceived feelings. When experience just IS as it is with no judging whatsoever, just as pure beingness-awareness, in the background to what is occurring in non-aware perception, then we are no longer in what can be experienced as a state of meditation. For this witnessing background is the only state, therefore it is not something we are coming in or out of. It is always isness and it is not separate from anything else. It is Us untainted by change or memory, beyond mental engagement. It is the “I am” and it is also prior to I am. Then experience cannot be experiential because there is nothing to compare with if you are abiding as and in the being (here) right now. Rest in that pure being.

Trust is acceptance

It is necessary to mention that while we can investigate the meaning of desire and our natural state of no desire, it is important to be present and accepting of all that is worldly. While recognizing what makes us uncomfortable or longing for change, one has to be careful in noticing the subtle but grand difference between wanting to surrender and surrender itself acting effortlessly on its own accord. Paths towards true yoga (union), and the effort that is invested towards it, are not to be disregarded. Quite the opposite, since we are looking out from our personal windows of perception, some will benefit greatly from being a jnani and some need the path of the Raja yogi. There are many paths towards realization and none of them are incorrect, for even though there exist many, they all in some way or another lead to surrendering to the Self. In the end of our searching all effort and the path itself dissolves. But as a child learns to crawl before it walks, the creation of the abyss and the crossing of it is as true and of God as God himself.

Though you might not be able to drop everything at once and live in full acceptance immediately, there is the possibility to notice your mechanism and trust the present. At any moment when there is a desire to change, look at its content and its nature. As if you were zooming out the lens of a camera, remember your true Self, who at any given moment is here and beyond. Notice the eternal witness to be yourself and you will soon have gone straight to source, simply and effortlessly. When you have found yourself in the housing of your own being, there is only love. And the doer in your life-experience is no longer personal, there is no more gain or loss that can change who you truly are. You simply are.

If you want to become full, let yourself be empty. If you want to be reborn, let yourself die. If you want to be given everything, give everything up. -Lao Tzu

When abiding in love, any act of will is an act of love. When the mind resides in heart, our personal orbit will take new shapes that resonate with and through our stateless state. An alchemical marriage that shatters the inherent concepts of duality. Within our dual perception there is comparison, it is a natural effect of it, but when you let go of comparing, there is just the experience, untainted by good or bad. This is acceptance and it is what makes acceptance effortless. Comparison also lies within desire and desire lies within comparison. It is not necessary to never want or need but there lies magic in acceptance and the knowing of who is needing. Think not of tomorrow or yesterday, if they appear, accept them now. Do not desire to stop you from desiring, simply dissolve it with the love that is its very source.

“What is imagined and willed becomes actuality -

here lies the danger as well as the way out.”

- Nisargadatta Maharaj

Desire itself causes our very true state-less self to experience itself as a separate being in a world of change and duality, driven by our own nature of creation. If you are to notice what liberation or awakening to oneself might mean, then do not desire in search of an outcome imagined by the construct of a finite mind. Do not try to change the changeless, look at your pain, feel your sorrow and your love, but do not judge. Things will naturally become more still and acceptance will lead to surrender. You do not need anything.

If you know the divine that you are and will always be, then there are no others and nothing that is not you. If you know this, desire itself will cease and you will be to all and every experience as you truly are - whole and loving infinity, with the possible play of a child, curious and accepting to all experience as the non-experience.

“Only now are you going your way to greatness. Peak and abyss, they are now joined together, for all things are baptized in a well of eternity, and lie beyond good and evil” -Friedrich Nietzsche

OM Brahma OM

/ Alexandra.

#consiousness #brahma #universe #desire #will

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project-ohagi · 4 years

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Keigo Takami ღ Hawks {Folklore AU/Tanabata}

Buy me a coffee!! <3

Tanabata - Star Festival [In the original, Hikoboshi was a cow-herder, but here, Keigo is a falconer! Also, I used hawks instead of magpies]!

Vega/Orihime: (Y/n)

Altair/Hikoboshi: Keigo

----

The stars danced overhead, flickering in and out like a near-extinguished candle, painting the sky with shimmers of silver.

What could it have been, if not a testament to an incandescent romance? With the moon as their witness, the lovers embraced, spilling sweet, heartfelt nothings to atone for their months of separation - in which they awaited, perpetually, the very next July. The anguish and longing faded for merely a day.

The children, with robes tightly wound, turned their attention heavenward. Expressions of joy overtook them, for although the lovers were woefully star-crossed, their love transcended every boundary, no matter human or divine. It was because they loved in earnest, that they would survive, bear children, and thrive among the stars. A weaver and a falconer - a tale of instant love, of sorrowful beginnings and bittersweet endings. For the lovers, 'goodbye' held no great meaning past 'I shall cross this bridge again, my dearest'. There happened a throbbing pain, which waxed and waned throughout the year, but tore neither of them apart completely. Their story of love and loss was a cycle, destined to repeat until the universe ceased to exist.

For this one night, peace and serenity would come upon all the creatures, and all the gods. But the herald of morn was approaching with haste, and time was of the essence.

"Is there something on your mind, dove?"

Oftentimes, your reveries consisted of scenarios you couldn't bear to imagine, or the many years (when consecutively, your heart slipped into a deep mourning) in which the rainfall had seemed to forbid your meeting. You were trapped on opposing sides of the galaxy. It was your punishment, for once, love clouded your vision such that you had neglected everything, except one another. It was a powerful fire, that yielded to nothing. It could never be reduced to embers, nor quenched. You and he together embodied home, warmth, security. There were never doubts, nor arguments. You had not been endowed with the luxury of time.

"Do you remember when my father first brought us together?" You asked, fingers gliding delicately across his skin.

He chuckled. "How could I not? I fell in love with a single glance."

"As did I." His aura soothed your very soul. "Then, how about our first meeting, after the exile?"

"I remember it vividly, angel. I was in awe - you looked as beautiful as ever, and you felt as soft...like feathers." His blonde locks tickled your nape.

You giggled. "I remember my sorrow, and how I cried."

"Because there was no bridge, and the hawks, who heard your cries, came to assist?" He guessed, peppering your neck with kisses.

This subject carried a heavy emotional burden, and yet...addressing it seemed almost imperative.

"Indeed, my love. I was despaired of ever marrying, finding someone to treasure...so when father threatened to part us forever, I pleaded with him so desperately. I would never allow you to be taken, and I in turn, would never stray from your love. And if you were to pass, my heart would leap from my chest, to join you."

"I wish to echo your sentiments. You have long been my everything, and my heart, my lips, my soul...each part of me belongs to you. I vow to always hold your hand, even in death. My loyalties will never waver."

For this one night, embosomed by the arms of your prince, your saviour and your hero...you could break from all obligations, melt into him, feel his cold breath upon your skin. "I hope the rain is staved off again, come next year. I am lonely in your absence, my darling."

"Not too lonely, I hope? I miss you terribly each year, but when Summer dawns, the prospect of meeting you warms my heart. I long for this day. It is my favourite, above all others." He nuzzled you, relishing in the small, contented sighs escaping your lips.

Those gorgeous, plump lips.

You gazed at him, affection twinkling in your eyes. "Lonely beyond compare. I yearn to hold you close, to ask you questions - oh, I have so many, but...time is not something we have an excess of."

"If it were, I would still spend every second with you. You could ask your questions, I could ask mine...I would hold you closer, I would kiss you more." There existed a mischief in his voice, but you wouldn't ever trade it - strip away that roguish spark and replace it with innocence.

There would be no fun, no thrill.

Perfection was impossible to improve upon, regardless. "If that is your wish, then perhaps we do not need infinity?"

"Perhaps not, but I would still pray for it. It pains me that I cannot sleep beside you - my destiny. That, come the morning, I will be without you, once more..."

"Oh, Keigo...I will find my way back into your embrace. Always." Your devotion was genuine, unbridled - a thousand eternities could pass you by, and you might never notice.

His strong arms were no prison, no gilded cage; you felt the freedom coursing through your veins. It was freedom of choice, of love...but you would always return to him. The perennial years caused no disillusion, like perhaps your father had hoped. And your wistful words only strengthened the bond, as you recalled every fleeting moment together, whilst mapping out your future - the future that you would decide upon, as husband and wife.

Vega and Altair, (Y/n) and Keigo, lovers quick to matrimony, adored by the stars. "You will be welcome. Always."

This state of bliss was something you had only dreamed of, all those moons ago. "Keigo...I was losing myself, until you found me. Our hearts share a rhythm."

"(Y/n)...my life was void of colour, and happiness, until we met. Without you, I would succumb to that dark, sorrowful abyss of my past." The truth in his words was almost tangible.

You giggled, disturbing the motion of his hand on your stomach. "Why do you suppose they are hawks? I had envisioned a bridge of magpies - would they not better suit my character?"

"A hawk is a good omen, to see your dreams and goals through to completion. Perhaps they sensed your desperation...your lament? Ah, they are also messengers of the Spirit World."

"The Spirit World...? Then...were we perhaps mentioned? By the spirits of the flowers and the trees?" There was beauty in such starry-eyed curiosity.

A wave of grief crashed down, as he considered yet another year bereft of your seraphic voice, and feather-light touches. "It could be."

"Maybe they are watching over us. Oh, does that not sound divine?"

"Your voice sounds divine. I could listen for aeons, and never tire. I find myself longing to hear it, all too often." He confessed, with a sigh.

Such a doleful response should have been stifled - your conversation was never supposed to sour so. "Can you hear them? The children? They are hanging more tanzaku, by the shrine."

"Do you wish for children? Is it possible for us?"

"Nothing is impossible, my love. But I fear that time is not on our side, this year. So...perhaps the next?" Intimacy, in all its forms, was glorious.

Faint heartbeats and breaths amplified in this closeness. "Hmm...dove, if I could grant a single wish, for what would you ask?"

"I would ask for you." There was a pause - it was typical of him to be so sentimental, but this question carried a melancholic undertone. "To be yours, even as everything fades."

His stubble scratched against your skin. "In the reversed roles, I would ask the same."

You knew this, and you loved it. "I often wonder whether Okuninushi proposed our match."

"Haha, I wonder that as well." His laugh was spellbinding. "Had you rejected my courtship, I might have relinquished life to heartbreak, before your eyes."

"I would sooner perish myself, than cause you such misery."

"I would never allow that. I have an obligation to love, and to protect - as both husband and soulmate. My happiness is trivial, in comparison to yours." He swept aside your hair, cold fingers sending waves of pleasant feeling straight to your heart.

He tilted your head, as the weight of your eyelids became too great.

"You are my happiness, my home. If there was no spark of joy in your life, how could there be one in mine?"

The illumination below, from lanterns and torches that clung to trees and children's hands, was beautiful but brief. Some tanzaku glided with the wind, while the others were determined to remain on their branches. You sensed each and every wish, as if they were whispered into your ears. And perhaps this was true. Your faces were reflected in all the lovers, from young to old. Gratitude and hope, you directed toward them. Gratitude, for their wishes of well. Hope, for the flourishing of their love. Romantic love, self-love, and anything in-between. You hoped for them to find it, to show it in a fashion both pure and prudent.

For this one night, peace and serenity would come upon all the creatures, and all the gods.

Keigo and (Y/n) were finally reunited.

[Word Count: 1535]

#bnha #bnha hawks #bnha hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #keigo takami #tanabata #folklore au #japanese folklore #vega #altair #orihime #hikoboshi #romance #my hero academia hawks #my hero academia scenario #my hero academia x reader

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nocapsnospace · 3 years

Text

Here Be Dragons

“CHARGE!”

Running towards the enemy. Pike outstretched. Man to the left shot. Keep running. The shelling begins. Made it to the enemy trench. Bayonet coming for me. Sidestep. CRACK! Bit in the leg, but still. Running through the bayonet man. on the floor. Me and him. Armor buddy runs up. TINK! Glancing hit. Shells fall. Rain falls. Sky falls. Thunder or high explosive? Flying. He picks me up. Flying. BAM!

“I’m Hit!” muffled. Distant.

Flying.

Landing.

Pain.

WHOOSH! PTCH! The mud. All around. The yelling. The shots. The blasts. All too loud. FWING! Dead salaeci to the right. Grab the gun. Just like crossbows back home. Prop up the bad leg. Lean over the mud. Too much mud. Aim. BANG!

And for a few brief moments, silent bliss. Ringing in the ears, just like the village shrine back home. I think back to those old days. The Farm, Mother, I do hope she’s taking good care of the chickens. The dames need their food twice daily. Otherwise, they hide the eggs. No really! I’ve seen them do it! I even got Lira to use her fancy magic to set up a sensor, and I kid you not. When I skipped afternoon brunch – EEEEAAARBOOM! – the dames sat in their coop, and covered the eggs in straw. No, really! – PANG! –the next day, when I brought them their midday seed buffet, I brought in nearly twice the eggs. – Fwishfwishfwishfwish – VWOOOMP – Miss you, dames. – CRASH –

The war. Back in my ears. Salaeci rifle, too damn loud. Crossbow? Manual? Quiet. No bang. Flame overhead. Trench burns. Rain falls. Hissssss. Still in the mud though. Mud and rain douse the flame. Sharp pain, it shoots through the leg. New crater, few meters left. New craters all around. Or old craters. No one remembers. Caters here longer than I. EEEER-STOMP. EEEER-STOMP. The metal thing. Getting closer. RATATATATATAT. Pikes charge the trench. Cut down like grass. The behemoth sits. Mows the lawn.

Lunging

Approaching

Closing in.

Crossing the abyss. The monstrosity. RATATATAT. More comrades. they join the mud. The metal box. With the legs. The legs halt. The head. It sits on top. Looks me dead in the eye.

ROOAAAR!

It looks away. looks up. And for a moment, the rain appears to stop. The sky loses a crack of lightning, as does the metal beast. But our behemoth is tougher. Lord Eropykshin falls from the sky, coppery wings tucked in for the devastating dive bomb. The tank’s bite gets him, passes through even, yet our general falls upon the metal box with all his might. The mighty dragon stands at least twice as high as the Salaeci techno-beast. He descends on the turret with full force, smashing the whole frame into the mud. Its legs immobilized, it lets out another lead roar, perhaps out of fear, its death throes.

The general sinks his claws into the turret’s joints, bites down on the hull, and tears it clean off. Another barrage of bullets flies towards him, and yet he cares not. He looks across the battlefield to the routing Salaeci, and inhales. A wave of blue energy leaves his mouth. Lightning not from the sky, but from the maw, ripples across the battlefield, cutting down every last one of them. He then turns to the crew, still struggling to escape the tanks innards. In a blinding flash, as he stands over it, he lets loose the same lightning, obliterating completely every organ in the metal beast. The spectacle ends. The rain keeps falling. The 63rd Ina division charges past the trench.

I walk towards the newly conquered trench, using the dead Salaeci’s gun like a crutch for my now bum leg. I get down into the trench, a walk to my corner. I grab the rum. Right where I left it yesterday! Back in my temporary abode, I take a swig, and pour the rest on my new wound. I remember hearing Baruka talking about some cigs he grabbed when we retreated form the Salaeci trench last Tuesday. I’m pretty sure he bit it in the last fight, so I grab one from his hidden stash, snap a small bonfire between my fingers and light it up. Then I grab the rest. Salaeci will probably take our trench again tomorrow, no point in leaving the cigs for them. As reserves follow up to occupy our new-old (or is it old-new?) trench, I hear the sound of the 63rd passing through the meat grinder, and I begin passing the cigs to the new recruits. Hope these kids never see the 1079th battle for A Trench, section 7. Hope the bum leg brings me back to the dames.

#short story #worldbuilding

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vangoddamn · 4 years

Text

Play me a song

Part 2 - Bondy

Warning: smut, smut, smut oh also smut

The drive to the studio was 2 hours and passed by quite quickly. You all decided to split up in each others cars, you, Van and Bob in one car, Benji, Larry and Bondy the other. Most of the journey was spent playing Nintendo switch with Bob and teasing Van how bad if a driver he was.

You wanted to sleep and couldn't wait to get to the destination to find your room. Last night was as sleepless as once thought and were lucky to get any sleep once you realised how hard thesw next few months would be. Stuck with Bondy seemed merely impossible.

If course you'd been on tours before, but you could easily go off in the day and end up being able to dodge certain people if needed. However these circumstances left very little room to hide away.

After your daydreaming, we pulled into the most picturesque farm house, it had ivy growing up and blossom trees lined up the road to the house. Forest surrounded the house with trees that towered above you like an older brother would. The house seemed like something from a fairy tale and it was no secret as to why the lids wanted to bring you now.

As you walked in it was like a stately home, marble floored kitchens, sleek tall walls. Where the lounge room or parlour should've graced there was a recording area with all the latest tech. Quick enough you ran up the stairs to bagsy the best room first. After careful consideration you decided.

The room was fairly big with a double bed taking centre stage. It's luxurious grey crisp sheets where soft against your touch and it was home to a record player on the bedside table. The wall opposite the bed was filled with books and vinyl and you wondered how many you could read in the time you were here. But this isn't the reason why you chose this room. Covering the north facing wall was a wall of glass opening onto a balcony that looked over the mass of trees, that you longed to explore.

Whilst lost in my trance I missed the sound of someone coming in, until they wrapped their arms around your waist and nuzzled into your neck. "You've chosen then" Johnny chuckled as he held me tighter to him. Moments like these I couldn't help but think what if things were different.

"do you like my choice?" I questioned him playing with his fingers.

"hmm, I knew you'd go for this one, have you seen the ensuite yet?" He mumbled in comfort, until I ruined it and turned around in suprise. And of course in my doing so I noticed a door behind Johnny's chuckling frame.

The bathroom was even more luxurious, marble floors let right up to another wall of glass looking out into the abyss. A copper bath lay Infront of the window and you tried hard not to imagine the both of you relaxing there.

"this place is crazy!" I squeeled turning around to look at him, leaning against the door frame perfect in every way. I walked over to him, little bounce in my step and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for letting me come with you" I smiled breathing in his scent and basking in the way it felt, feeling his hands sneak into my waist. I didn't even realise I'd closed my eyes in bliss at the closeness.

"it's a pleasure love" he whispered

-------

The evening was spent eating takeaway pizza and playing fifa, oh and drinking too much beer. You didn't play much after your several wins, and spent most the time making fun of Van and how bad he was. Although the many beers had created a buzz around you, and you tried hard not to do anything you'd regret, whilst downing another pint. After many more drinks you still felt paralisingly tired and decided to make your way up to bed, stumbling on every other step. You just hadn't realised someone else would join you.

It was quite hot and so the need for PJ's was hardly there, so settling for a t shirt you brushed your teeth and headed to the bed. It was like living on a dream and the abundance of pillows made it feel like you were floating. The smell was like fresh cotton and pine trees and the sheets were soft and cozy.

It was completely dark outside now and you'd turned all the lights off. You could here the lids coming upstairs to their rooms in drabs. Your stomach turning to jelly each time someone came close to your door. Half of you was expecting Van the other hoping for Johnny.

But as the night grew older and the sky became darker you gave up turning to your side looking out of the windows. The curtains were sheer and the draft from the door that lay open created a wind that danced and twirled with the curtains.

You became restless and you became more awake than before, growing more bored by the second. That was until you thought you heard the the door open, your ears pricking up trying to detect movement.

Johnny's body joined onto mine as he cuddled up to me like usual. It would've been more of a shock to me if I'd been more tired and less intoxicated but I wasn't so I chose to ignore my conscience, and rolled over on top of his body. My legs were either side of his hips and we both shared a look of mischief.

"how come your here?" I grinned staring down at him, his fingers playing with the hair that was loose before placing it behind my ear softly and sitting up.

"to say goodnight" he whispered, cupping y/n's cheek and placing a kiss on her forehead. If I wasn't as drunk as I was, I'd have smiled back, maybe shied away. But I was bored of this slow burn and wanted him.

A long passionate kiss was all it took to ignite the fire as her lips moved against his ferociously. They'd never kissed like this before and it was nearly as intoxicating and addictive as the alcahol that lingered around the both of them.

You found that your hips were slowly moving against his at a steady pace as the kiss turned more feverish and open mouthed. He mumbled your name into your mouth giving you access to swipe your tongue across exploring his mouth.

Soon he pulled away, making you feel disappointed until he quickly attached his mouth onto my neck sucking slightly, surely leaving a mark. But you didn't mind at this point as your neck arched along with your back as the grinding of hips we're slowly creating a warmth below that was hard to cope with.

"Johnny" you moaned louder than you'd anticipated, making his lips detach from your skin, and a suprised smirk slid onto his face.

"quiet doll" he shushed placing his finger into your mouth which only turned you on more, taking his finger into your mouth and sucking like a child with a lolly pop.

"wow" Johnny sighed deeply, intertwining both your hands and rolling you onto your back, sinking into the cloud like mattress. You could feel his member as he kneeled on you this time kissing down your body before he suddenly came up again a worrying look on his face. "Y/n are you ok with this, I don't want to go to far" fussing over you he held your cheek in his free hand.

"Johnny, you could never go to far" kissing his lips as a comfort.

"tell me, if I need to stop" he said in a sterner tone I thought I'd ever heard from him. I answered with a nod my attention going back to the burning within my soul which he returned to quickly.

His hands untangled from you and pulled down your panties with a wide smirk on his face. "What're you laughing at" my face was screwed up and looking at him confused.

"love, your dripping already"

"you've kept me waiting for how many years Mr bond?" I snided back sexually frustrated beyond ever before. With that comment he went back to work his tongue sliding easily against my folds eliciting a moan from my mouth.

As he ventured further into me his thumb found its way to my clit rubbing it gently causing a rush of nerves. My back arched with pleasure making me pull him up by his shirt that curiously still hung on his frame.

"this isn't aloud" I huffed undoing the buttons on his shirt, throwing it to the ground somewhere. I still wasn't satisfied and to solve the ache down below his tight jeans needed to be gone too. His short giggle and wriggled out his pants made me realise how needy I probably looked. But I didn't care when his naked body was propped up against me.

I felt every curve, dip and bend of his body as he made quick work of the oversized t-shirt that bunched up round my ribs. A low hum slipped out of his mouth reacting to my body beneath him. He had complete control and I couldn't trust him more.

"I can't believe this is my first time seeing you, like completely" I giggled into the crook of his neck. But Johnny was still deeply serious, set in a trance of some sort.

He caressed your body lightly with the back of his finger, going over every curve and bump that I'd always tried so hard to hide. Yet now, with everything on show and nowhere to hide, I'd never felt so safe and loved. "Your beautiful" he sighed kissing me and remembering what his previous mission had been before our moment.

His member teased against my slit and he looked up under his lashes once more, looking for my approval. Smiling I nodded and wrapped my legs round his middle, giving him the go ahead.

A deep moan came out from both of us as he entered me slowly, painstakingly slowly, my hips bucking him so as to get his whole length. Getting the message his pase was set as he drove deep into you catching every nerve in his way making your back arch in pleasure.

"god y/n! Your so tight" he barely managed to get out between sighs. Soon enough his pase is increased and you can't help but whimper loudly under every thrust.

"Johnny!" You practically screamed, muffling the sound halfway through by attaching your lips to his shoulder. The feeling even got stinger as he rubbed his thumb over your clit again. "I'm gonna come" mumbling into his shoulder once more before waves crashed into you and suddenly you fell back, legs still firmly wrapped round him.

"baby I-" he barely finished his sentence before I felt him coat my walls, filling me up, more than I though I could be. His body relaxed and fell down onto mine wresting his head my chest. "Remind me again why we haven't done this before?" he wearily questioned, closing his eyelids, going to slip out of you.

Stopping him before he could release your combined juices you pulled him back down into your body. "Just wait, I wanna save this feeling" you mumbled in his hair.

At some point he had to pull out, separating your bodies, letting the juices flow out of you. It felt as if a part of you had been taken away from you, something you didn't like.

After Bondy cleaned you up he returned as he was. Nestled on your body, skin against skin, hair tickling your nose. Absent mindedly swirling his fingers on your skin making your body drift into an easy slumber.

"night doll" you expected him to leave and this to be forgotten about but instead he planted a kiss in the valley of your chest and snuggled deeper into the embrace.

<<<<<part 1 >>>>part 3

A/n: hey guys, ok so lol I wasn't actually planning on this quite yet but what happens happens what can I say! Isn't Bondy just the cutest, hope your all doing well xx Em

#bondy x reader #johnny bond #catfish and the bottlemen #bondy #smut #bondy smut #fanfiction #fanfic

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holy-hyuck · 4 years

Text

Bleeding Hearts

Bleeding hearts were your favourite flowers until they took away what you treasured most. Now, the only heart that bled was yours.

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease!AU

Warnings: Swearing

Song Rec: Bruises by Lewis Capaldi

The bottle clinks against the stone and bombards your head with pain as the noise it creates echoes in the night. The sound travels through the empty space until it falls silent, and all that’s left are your thoughts, jumbled and swarming around like insects, like hyenas circling dead prey.

You swing the bottle up to your lips, greedy for the bitter taste on your tongue, and take an eager sip. The golden liquid rolls down your throat and soothes the aching in your heart, momentarily until everything comes back down like an avalanche, the way it always does.

Using the sleeve of Yeonjun’s oversized sweater, you wipe away the residue of alcohol off your lips and chin, then place the bottle on the ground.

Your hair is hay, you realise as you run a hand through it, the action rough and rushed. You don’t bother to detangle it, pulling the roots as your hand comes back down to your lap, where it joins the other one.

You let silence engulf and overwhelm you, looking up to the pitch-black sky to stop more tears from falling. In the distance, you spot a few stars, small but still shining against the darkness.

“How could you?” you whisper and let the question hang in the air. “You were supposed to be my everything; my forever and always. How could you leave me like this? How could you let me call you, and text you, and miss you days and nights thinking you were just stubborn, waiting on the end of the line like you always did? How could you let me love you if you knew you weren’t meant to stay?” You sniff and scoff, and choke on your words.

“You can’t even imagine just how fucking much I hate you right now, and of course you can’t, because you’re not here anymore!” Your voice fills the abyss, and the trees take in your words and whisper them back to you. Only when you have the chance to process them again do you realise the venom dripping from them kills you as well.

“My parents were right, you were too good for me anyway. You were the golden boy; you were everything I’ve wanted to be, and even when you were hurting because of me you made me feel loved. I don’t deserve you but I’m selfish when it comes to you and I want you back. I want everything back, all our laughs and tears and fights, and every little memory, and I want to wake up knowing you’re just half an hour away, and I want to fall asleep knowing that we’re looking at the same moon and the same stars.”

Your hands find their way back to your hair, and this time, you intentionally pull them, fingernails littering the delicate skin of your scalp with small crescents as their stinging aids the ache in your heart.

“I wanna turn back time to when you were still with me, but that’s the shitty thing about life, isn’t it? That when people stop ticking, you can’t just change the batteries like you would to a clock. And now I have to look at that damned four twenty-seven and imagine the arrows still moving because that’s all I’ve got left. Everything is so fucking meaningless when you’re not around, Jun, and I hope to God you’re listening, and you know just how sorry I am.” Harshly, you flick your tears away, rubbing your skin raw with the soft sleeves of Yeonjun’s jumper. “And I know that won’t change anything. And that’s exactly what I hate the most, that no amount of sorrys will bring you back so fuck you Yeonjun!”

You pick up the bottle off the ground and the sudden motion spills whiskey on the yellowing grass.

“Fuck all your broken promises, and all your ‘I love you’s’! Fuck your stupid smile, and your laugh, and your hugs and everything about you can go to hell!”

Your grip tightens around the neck until your knuckles turn white. You turn the bottle upside down and the liquid barely has time to stain your jeans before you aim and throw it at Yeonjun, the glass shattering on the marble, shards going off like fireworks in the night sky and resembling the stars on it too. It’s a beautiful sight for such a horrid emotion it came from, and yet you cannot tear your eyes away.

And so you fall, succumbing to the void. Each thought and memory goes down like dominoes and rolls down your cheek just to make you feel something other than overwhelming numbness and anger. Each breath you take gets choked up, and each one you give out becomes ragged and shakes.

God, what you wouldn’t do to have Yeonjun envelop you in his arms, to inhale the scent of his cologne, or have his plump and coconut-scented, glossy lips place a kiss on your forehead, an act of love, a promise that you will be okay.

And you hate yourself because you’re the reason he’s gone, because you’ve been blind and selfish, and never took off those rose-coloured glasses to see that all those pink flags were actually white, and that Yeonjun was so desperately crying for help from the only person that could save him. You.

The scream you gift to the blackening sky pierces through the stillness in the air and everything roars back to life: everything except Yeonjun, whose name stares back at you in pity and sorrow. It mocks you, it seems like, and you want to swing with all your might but you know there’s nothing waiting at the end of your fist, just emptiness and the sixteen digits you’ve grown to hate.

Even the stars lose their shine, and nothing seems beautiful anymore. Their light is nothing but a nausea-inducing headache, their infinity just another reminder of how mortal all people are. Flowers are wilting and trees are starting to die. The world spins around on its axis and enters a different universe, where the night never ends, and the sun never comes up. A world where Yeonjun doesn’t hold your hand or text you goodnight.

It’s a world you hate, but one you’ll grow accustomed to with time. It’s a world where your heart is covered with ashes, and you let it be buried under all the pain until, eventually, it stops hurting.

Reaching out a trembling finger, you pick up a fallen flower, holding the stem as though you’re holding the very thing that spurts out life, and spin it around between your fingers, fingerprints imprinting on the surface, over and over again until they become familiar to the sensation. You recognise the blush sprinkled on its petals, the heart-wrenching shape that made you fall in love with them in the first place, and all it did now was pierce right through your ribcage.

Bleeding hearts were your favourite until they took away what you treasured most. They used to grow on the tree beside Yeonjun’s house, and now they littered his grave, decorating the stone and giving it a beauty that you were sickened by. They were the shape of his heart, always fluttering at the thought of you, until they grew into his lungs with vengeance, yearning so badly for you that they hoped to break out of the cage they were in, spewing out of Yeonjun’s mouth every time he fell for you again. And he fell every time, because loving you was worth all the agony you put him through. Loving you was suffocating but he’d lie saying he didn’t enjoy the pain or the sight of your smile as you passed him a glass of water, unaware that it was your love he was coughing up. He would rather die for you than get rid of this overwhelming feeling because even if it brought him down to hell, you would bring him right back up, and all that was worth the single second of bliss.

You crush the flower in your palm but it doesn’t bleed the way your heart does. It retains its beauty, and no matter how many flowers you destroy, another will grow in their place. That’s the beauty of life, but you no longer find life beautiful.

You look at Yeonjun once more, and once again, he remains unmoved. He no longer cares, so maybe neither should you.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” you snicker. It scrapes your throat and you can’t help noticing how you’ve ran out of tears. “I guess the way I was the death of you.”

#txt scenario #txt imagine #txt x reader #txt angst #txt yeonjun scenario #txt yeonjun imagine #txt yeonjun x reader #txt yeonjun angst #choi yeonjun scenario #choi yeonjun imagine #choi yeonjun x reader #choi yeonjun angst

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crzcorgi · 4 years

Text

Don’t Need Saving

I wrote this last NYE when I was in a bad place. I never finished it (still really haven’t!) I just found it and added a bit to it to make it at least make some sense. I may continue with it. I’m still in that same headspace and when that happens I’m only able to write certain things, and I apologize for that. I am working on Negan’s Girl though!

Anyway, this is a Max x Reader

WARNINGS!!! The reader is in a bad place, attempted suicide, douchey handsy guy, some language

Words ~ 2700

Feedback is greatly appreciated!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was done. Done with a world where no one cared. Done with what little family I had that acted as though I didn’t exist. Done with being treated like shit. Done with saying “tomorrow’s a new day, it will get better.” But it never gets better. Only worse. So I was ending it. The pain, the hurt, the loneliness. I wouldn’t be missed, I’d been told so, in so many words.

It was an amazing view from the bridge really, almost made me change my mind. Sometimes the world could be a beautiful place, the rivers, the ocean, mountains. Mother Nature in all her glory. But man made objects could be stunning in their own right. The Great Pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, the Brooklyn Bridge. Which is where I was currently perched.

I came here tonight thinking it would be easier to go unseen. Who knew that bridges have security?! But it was New Years, and most tourists were spending it at Times Square. And New Yorkers were partying at the thousands of restaurants and bars. So I was pretty much alone here by NY standards.

I didn’t want to end it this way. But I was a fucking chicken. I thought about pills or a gun. But what if they failed? Would I be left in a coma? Or worse yet, totally incapacitated? No. Jumping into freezing cold water from over a hundred feet up would surely be deadly. It had to be.

So why was I still sitting here, just talking to myself? Did I have doubts still? Was my life truly worth living? No, there was nothing left for me on earth, no one, no thing. Just a fucking waste of space. Crazy girl with her crazy thoughts. As some wise person once said, goodbye cruel world.

“Kind of a cold night for bridge sitting dontcha think?”

“FUCK!!” My hesitation almost coming to an end, but not of my doing. “You scared the shit out of me! Is that something you enjoy doing to people?!” A man, although it was hard to tell what sex they were due to the cold weather gear they were bundled up in, standing below me, smiling.

“No, I didn’t mean to frighten you miss. Just wondering why you would be spending NYE all by yourself on a bridge, in the cold.”

“I’m strange that way. I like to be alone. And cold.” Why did he care? “So you can just move along now.”

I looked down towards the shore, watching a tug pulling away from the dock. Life goes on. My exit from it wouldn't change a thing.

“Funny, I like to be alone in the cold too.”

Why was he still talking to me?!

“That’s nice. So why are you standing there talking to me?” Just fuck off dude.

“Well, you just looked like you might not want to be alone.” He came closer to me. Close enough for me to see just how handsome he was. And wonder why he was on a bridge on NYE.

“You’re right, I didn’t want to be alone, it’s why I came here. Isn’t this where the hottest parties are held? I mean, I guess I just came early.” I turned to face him, outstretching my arms. Just then, a huge gust of wind came, my jacket sleeves acting as wings and pulling me backwards, and I thought, right off the bridge.

This is it, I’m going to die and I didn’t have to lift a fucking finger. I closed my eyes tightly, waiting. So why isn’t my life flashing before my eyes? Where’s the bright light? The peaceful bliss? Should have known it wouldn’t be that fucking nice. It’s me, I shouldn’t expect it to be a beautiful ending. Just a dark lonely abyss.

I opened one eye a crack. And I saw him. No, not God. It was the man from the bridge. I opened both of my eyes completely, blinking.

“What the fuck?!” I realized I was in his arms. The fucker had grabbed me before I fell. He caught me. He saved me.

Wrenching myself out of his grasp, I jumped back. “Why? Why did you DO THAT!”

“Do what? Save you from falling?” He stepped over to the railing, looking over. “You do realize you most likely would have died, right?” He turned, looking at me with a look of disbelief, and concern. “I figured that might just fuck with your New Year’s plans.”

Was he kidding? Was I on some hidden camera show?

“Well, buddy, who the fuck are you to save me?! Did I ask to be saved?” I was shaking at this point, my fucking plans, gone with the fucking wind.

I started to walk away, possible new plans beginning to formulate in my head. But why bother? I’m a failure at life, and now, a failure at death.

“Miss!” The fucker was actually chasing after me. What the actual fuck?!

I turned, ready to be angry, to rip him the metaphorical “new one.” But when he caught up to me I saw something. He looked concerned, maybe even surprised. But I also saw something that I hadn’t seen, or felt, in a long time, maybe not ever. I saw someone who seemed to care.

“Yes?” I questioned him, my lack of trust never far away.

“Care to join me for a cup of coffee? I know a nice, quiet shop just off the bridge. Never too crowded.” He looked at me, a sweet smile on his lips. “I’m cold and really could use something to warm up.”

I don’t know why I said yes. Maybe I just craved a great cup of joe. Maybe I needed to warm up too. Or just maybe, I needed to feel something, that possibly someone, cared. Maybe just a tiny bit.

I followed my strange savior across the bridge and down to a street that was bustling with party goers. I was feeling a bit antsy with the crowds.

“It’s right up ahead.” He had turned to make sure I was still behind him. “Take my hand, don’t want you getting lost.” He held his hand out and I took it. It was warm and soft and I was so lost in the human contact, something that I hadn’t felt in so long, that I ran right into him when he stopped in front of the coffee shop.

“Ooh, fuck! I’m sorry.” I blurted out.

“S’ok, kinda stopped quick on you.” He opened the door, stepping aside to let me enter first. It was big, like an old warehouse feel to it. But it felt nice. And he was right, it was quiet and not too crowded considering the night.

“Choose a seat darling, coffee?”

Darling?

“Umm, yes, please.” I found a table towards the back it was as by the windows with a wonderful view of the bridge, the city sparkling behind.

“Perfect spot.” Stranger Savior placed two pastries down on the table. “These are delicious, try one.” He walked back over to the counter, picking up our coffees.

“I forgot to ask, cream, sugar?”

“A bit of cream would be great, thanks.” I watched him make his way over towards the counter where the creamer was. He stopped quickly, almost spilling both cups of coffee. I saw a woman standing there, a surprised look on her face. She slowly backed up, leaving her drink right there. She turned quickly, running from the shop. Odd.

Mystery man just stood there, not moving. After a few seconds he placed the cups down and began pouring creamer into each one. But I could see he was shaken, his hands far from steady. I was thinkin’ maybe I should offer to help him but I didn’t have to as he turned making his way back over.

“Here, y-you go.” He stuttered as he spoke, the coffee spilling out of the cups and onto his hand, as he placed them down on the table.

“Ooh…” I grabbed a napkin and started to wipe his hand only for him to flinch away, knocking both cups to the floor.

“Fuck! I…I’m so…sorry.” He grabbed some napkins and began cleaning up the spilled coffee.

“Uh, I’m sure they have a mop. Let me see.”

As I waited for two new cups of coffee and someone to come out to clean the spill, I watched him. He was nervous as fuck, so unlike the confident man that knew what I was doing and truly saved me.

I stepped closer to him. “How about we take another seat. I have two new cups coming.” I grabbed our desserts and moved a couple of tables over. “I’ll grab our drinks.”

He sat down, never saying a word. Just a strange,

sad, almost frightened look on his face. A very drastic change in demeanor. When I sat down with our new coffees, he jumped, almost knocking the table over.

“I’m sorry…I guess…I’m just a big klutz tonight.”

I took a chance, reaching across the table to place my hand softly on his. He flinched, but didn’t draw it back.

“Hey, we all have those times where we can’t move an inch without the whole building collapsing around us.” I began rubbing his fingers without even realizing it. “I am the biggest fuckup. I’ve tripped over air, choked on my own spit. And once I tried to step over my cat on my stairs, falling down them and dislocating my shoulder in the process. It’s okay,” I realized I never even asked his name.

He looked at me, a slight smile starting to appear. Dimples, the dude has fucking dimples.

“Max, my name’s Max.” He snickered. “We never even introduced ourselves, did we?!”

I laughed. “No, guess we didn’t. But to be fair, I was kinda pissed at you.” I smiled back at him. “But anyway, I’m y/n.”

“It’s nice to, uh, meet you, y/n. That’s a beautiful name, it suits you,” he smiled at me, those damn dimples showing again.

Nope, I refuse to do this again.

“Um, thank you. Nice to meet you too, Max.” I sighed. “And I guess a thank you is in order.”

“No need, it’s just coffee.” He winked at me.

Fuck.

“Thank you just the same Max.” I smiled, taking a bite of the pastry. “This is good!” I wiped my face with a napkin. “I never knew this place was even here.”

“It’s truly a well hidden gem. I’m kind of a loner so I come here often.” He looked down, picking at his dessert.

“Me too. I really don’t socialize much. I prefer my animals company over most humans.” I sipped my coffee, glancing over at the loud crowd that just came in.

Max glanced over his shoulder at the group. “There goes the quiet.” He laughed.

I excused myself to use the restroom. As I rounded the corner, I ran into a hard chest. Hands reached out and roughly grabbed me by the arms.

“Watch it there doll!”

“Oh, sorry.” I tried to pull free from his grasp but he wouldn’t let go.

“What’s the hurry baby?!” He tightened his grip, leaning down placing his lips on my neck. I froze, an all to familiar feeling rushing through my body causing me to began to shake, my eyes closing tight. My eyes flew open when I felt him pull me forward.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!” It was Max. He had the guy by the arms, pulling him away from me, but the dude wasn’t letting go of me.

“She your girl, man? She don’t look like your type” He finally let go of me, attempting to turn in Max’s grasp to no avail. “Fucking let go of me!” He roared. He finally slipped away, turning quickly and throwing a punch towards Max. Either he was too drunk to aim right or Max was quick because he totally missed his target, falling flat on his face.

Max walked over to me, offering his hand to me. I must have visibly flinched as he pulled his hand back a bit. “I’m sorry, y/n, I was just going to get you away from that fucker.” I looked down to see the dude just moaning and just flip flopping like a drunk fish. Asshole.

I carefully stepped around him, moving closer to Max. “Thank you, for that.” I gestured towards the wasted goon, his friends now attempting to help him up off of the floor. “I’m sorry, it’s just, I’m…”

“It’s okay, I understand.” My strange savior gave me a half smile, offering up his hand again, and I took it. I followed him out of the shop and a short distance down the sidewalk, the crowds seeming to have disappeared while we were inside. “Can I walk you home?”

Home. I hadn’t thought about it. But I didn’t have a home anymore. When I left this morning it didn’t even cross my mind that I would be needing a home anymore. I don’t know what came over me, my mouth obviously doing it’s own thing. “I don’t have a home. Not any more.” Jesus fuck, I’m telling this complete, albeit incredibly sweet and amazingly gorgeous, stranger that I’m homeless.

“Are you homeless?” He stopped walking, turning to grab my arms, gently.

Shit. “Kind of. I sort of burned my bridges and most likely don’t have a place to go back to.” I moved to see his face better, regretting it when I realized he was staring right at me, a look of concern painted on his breathtaking features. Which I needed to stop thinking about. “It’s okay, I’m okay.” I looked away knowing that the look on my face most certainly betrayed my words.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, a hesitant touch. “I have a place you can stay, not far from here actually.”

I turned my face to look at him once again. “I can’t, I mean it’s okay.”

“So, you have someplace to go then?” He has positioned himself to be more on my level, his eyes looking right at me.

I wanted to say ‘yea, I’m fine, I’ve got a place to go.’ But I couldn’t, he seemed to know my answer before I even knew it myself.

“Uh, no, no I don’t.” I have him a fake smile, feeling foolish, stupid, and helpless. “But it’s fine, honest.” I couldn’t do this, wouldn’t do this. I needed no ones help. Especially not a man’s. Fucker’s probably a creeper, a stalker, a rapist.

“How about you just come with me, I’ll show the place. Maybe just spend the night…”

I started to back away from him, shaking my head, he must have seen it, because he suddenly threw his hands up. “No! I mean, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean spend the night with me, I was going to let you stay in one of the other apartments in my building. Shit.” He then mumbled something I couldn’t quite hear but it sounded like he was berating himself. And I felt bad. Fuck.

“Okay, I guess that would be okay.” My mouth speaking before my mind could tell it to keep fucking quiet.

“Okay, OK! Great! It’s just up the street here, it’s old, but has lots of character and…”

My mind started reeling, tuning him out. What was I getting myself into? It’s not like my life was simple before, no, nothing is ever simple with me. Maybe this was the answer to my “problems” maybe this dude really is nuts, a killer even. I won’t even have to lift a finger and it will be all over. And maybe he’s artistic and my death will become famous for the way it’s executed.

Or maybe he’s just a nice guy, I mean, there are still some nice ones out there, isn’t there? And in that case I’m dragging him into a total clusterfuck that is my life.

I looked up at him, noticing him smiling down at me, I smiled back, a real one, he honestly made me feel like smiling. He took hold of my hand, and I was strangely okay with it. I was okay with all of this. With him. And for once I wouldn’t question it.

#max #the resident #the resident fanfiction #max x reader #attempted suicide #mental illness #crzcorgi writes #jeffrey dean morgan #crzcorgi crz 4 jdm

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mama-m1na · 4 years

Text

Apocalypse: Chapter 4

~~~IV~~~

Two weeks passed as the newcomer to the world fell into his own routine of waking up, getting breakfast at Rhamina and Tijarah's suite, taking on some jobs with the ravenette sending him reminders at certain times to eat meals and take care of himself, then returning to the building at the end of the day.

Some nights he would find his neighbor on her balcony and he would listen to her rants and stories of ridiculousness that happened on a particular day.

It was on one of these nights that she requested for his presence at the next meeting amongst the Apocalypse leadership.

The eighteen-year-old had stressed the importance of this specific meeting, so he was really in no position to refuse.

By the time he entered the room, all of the leaders were already seated at the table and many of them greeted him with warm expressions.

"What's up, Cloud?" Sierra greeted as the blond walked past her seat, "I see you've been pretty busy, huh?"

"The jobs aren't that much different from what I did back in Sector 7," the male shrugged as he faced her.

"Yeah, I'm betting that's because you're sticking to jobs in and around the city," Justin commented, "You want to get some unique jobs, head up to the mountains or some shit, or even head over to L.A."

"True, but unfortunately, we're not here to talk about job opportunities or even our normal reports this week," Rhamina spoke, prompting the man to walk over and stand behind the lead four.

"No," she continued, cracking her knuckles, "We're talking about our friends down in the San Diego area today."

"For the past few weeks, Yukitara's group has been completely silent," Sam started with a serious expression, "Like they've gone completely underground."

"Their usual shipment of equipment hasn't showed up yet and as you know, we give them their trade of weapons about ten days before they're set to pay us back," Tiajarah spoke with a frown, "And I know that shit got to them at least, three weeks ago."

"We've tried contacting them multiple times, but nothing," Kerstin sighed as she raised her head from the table's cool surface.

"What the fuck?" G-lo asked with a scowl, "So they're just cutting us off? After all we've done for them?"

"That's one possibility," Rhamina said before anyone else could raise any offensive comments, "Or they could be in trouble and are just too stubborn to ask for help."

"I mean, think about it, they are run by a family of Asians," she continued with a small shrug, "You know how stubborn we are when it comes to aspects of pride and honor."

"Either way, it calls for a little trip down to San Diego to check on them," Sam added as the brunette looked down the table.

"Yeah, that and the fact they've been neglecting the generator in Coronado Bay," Tijarah scoffed as Rhamina double tapped on the table, allowing footage of drones flying around the outside of a white building to play.

"Normally, it's their job to make sure this plant is inactive, but as you can see, the drones and outer turrets are guarding it again," the ravenette explained, the video not needing much clarification.

"So who's going in this time?" the only Filipino male in the room asked.

"Me, Mina, Sierra, and Cloud," Kerstin spoke, leaning over the back of her chair to face the said blond, "This'll give you an opportunity to build more connections and explore more areas you could be going to for jobs."

"Alright, so when are we going?" the ex-SOLDIER asked, noticing the ravenette's straight expression.

"I knew I wasn't going to get a reply, but I went ahead and informed them that we would be heading over in two days," she spoke after checking her phone, "I didn't ask, they should know by now that it isn't a request."

The rest of the meeting was basically just running through who was taking over what while the three leaders would be gone for a few days.

Once the meeting was dismissed, Rhamina and Cloud waited for the room to clear out before they walked into an elevator together.

"I wouldn't take any jobs before this mission if I were you," Rhamina said as the doors closed in front of them, "If Yukitara's group does end up turning on us, then I don't want you, or anyone, to be worn out by the time we get there."

"Who is Yukitara, exactly?" the blond asked as the elevator began to descend.

"A gang leader from before the incidents with the generators happened, someone I know personally," she explained with a somber gaze kept on the doors, "I played with his daughter when we were younger and now we're allies in this dystopia."

"I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I'm actually kind of glad I was stupid as a child, in this case that is," she chuckled, "If I hadn't blindly trusted that man while my father was off gambling, then we wouldn't have made such a powered ally."

"And how powerful is he?" the male questioned as they exited the elevator on the tenth floor of the building.

"Well, considering that he had control over the entirety of San Diego, which is about more than ten times the size of what we control, I'd say pretty powerful," the teen chuckled once more, "Even in places like L.A. they had to split up control into separate districts within the city, but Yukitara is able to manage his territory as a whole.

"Numbers and territory alone doesn't mean that someone is powerful," Cloud replied as they just stood in front of their doors.

"In some cases, but it's more of how Yukitara is able to lead his gang and how he is able to keep it all in control," Rhamina clarified with a smile, "He is way more strict than we are here, but it's to be expected, I guess."

"Oh and one more thing," she said with her hand on her door handle, "Make sure you look at what monsters and mutants are in the San Diego-Coronado area, they're vastly different from what we have here."

When the day came for the four to make their way over to San Diego, they met on the second floor of the parking structure.

"We won't be actually talking with them until this afternoon, but it's best to get a feel of the place before we do," Rhamina said as everyone loaded their luggage into the back of a black van, "It has been a while since we've been over there."

"Yeah, I'm kind of excited," Sierra spoke with a smile, "getting out of the Abyss and away from all of the kids for a few days at least."

"This isn't a vacation," Cloud reminded as he stood next to his bike, "We still have a job we have to do."

"Yeah, but who says we can't have some fun while doing it?" Kerstin asked, "San Diego is full of fun places and a lot of great strip clubs."

Rhamina immediately covered the younger teen's mouth with a disappointed look on her face, but something told Cloud that this kind of thing happened a lot and he wouldn't be surprised from what he had seen in his living with Apocalypse.

"You can go ahead and do that on your own time, but please act normal and refrain from saying those kinds of things when we're with other people," the ravenette sighed as she narrowed her eyes at the darkette.

"Mina, you need to come with me!" the seventeen-year-old whines as she clung onto the ravenette's arm, causing the female to cough in surprise and her eyes to widen as she attempted to pry her off.

"Kerstin!" Rhamina exclaimed in a chiding but embarrassed tone as she tried to back away, earning a pout from the shorter female.

"Mina, you promised that you would come with me and Sam the next time we went!" the female argued, "And that we would go drinking too!"

"I'm down for drinking to an extent, but I am not setting foot in a fucking strip club," the ravenette huffed as she shoved the female into the passenger seat of the van, slamming the door behind her, "And Sam ain't even here, you dipshit!"

Rhamina let out a long sigh as Sierra chuckled behind her, patting her on the back as she said, "It's okay, Mina. She tried to get me to join her too."

"So, Cloud," Rhamina spoke, changing the subject as she turned to the male, "Just follow the can and you should be fine but just be careful as we get closer to San Diego. More gangs tend to bunch up around it's borders."

"I'll be fine," the blond assured, earning a nod from both females before they got in the van, ignoring the faces Kerstin was making at them through the window, with Sierra getting in the driver's seat while Rhamina got in the row of seats behind her.

The blue-eyed male got on his bike as the black vehicle started up and followed it out of the parking structure, eventually getting onto the freeway towards San Diego.

It took about an hour and a half before the group made it to the large city by the ocean and ended up parking in a lot near the water.

"So, since it's like eleven, why don't we just walk around Seaport Village for an hour before getting lunch?" Sierra suggested after everyone got out of or off of their vehicles.

"That sounds good to me," Rhamina yawned as she rubbed her eyes that were still adjusting to the change in light.

"Did you not get much sleep last night?" Cloud asked as he watched the female stretch out with a small, high pitched, sigh leaving her lips.

"I did, it's just that I just woke up from a nap in the van," she replied with her eyes half lidded.

"You know, you have really pretty eyes, Cloud," the female mused as she leaned in closer to his face, "I don't think I've told you that yet."

"Okay, you creepy fuck, let's start walking," Kerstin said, snickering as she noticed that her sister's words had flustered the male.

"Kay," she hummed in reply, walking to enter the old styled village filled with small shops and boutiques.

As the three teens walked on ahead, the blond took a moment to let out the breath he didn't know he was holding before going to catch up with them.

The small village was pretty quiet with only a handful of shops open with the small amount of normal people that were walking around.

While Cloud followed behind the girls, he kept getting glimpses of the ravenette's blissful expression as she took in the scenery and breathed the fresh, sea air.

It was about forty-five minute into the walk when the group was walking over a bridge that crossed over a small stream when two of the Filipinos stopped.

"Hey, Kerstin," the ravenette poke as she looked at the peaceful scenery before them, "you wanna grab a duck?"

"Hell yeah," the younger sibling spoke as her gaze locked onto a pair of mallard ducks with three ducklings.

Splash!

Sierra and Cloud, alerted by the sudden noise, looked back to see that the other two had jumped from the bridge in order to stalk the birds.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" the teen chuckled as she leaned over the railing to start recording with her phone.

Both girls were completely focused, each going around in opposite directions to corner the birds, slowing further when the ducks became aware of their presence.

The male scoffed at the sight, but couldn't help the small smile creeping onto his face as he watched the ravenette stalk forward like a cat about to pounce.

Suddenly the male reached up to clutch his head, trying to soothe the flash of pain as images flashed through his mind; a little girl with black hair was running through what looked to be a forest with a large smile on her face when a large shadow grew over her.

Cloud was brought back to reality by hearing Kerstin's loud string of curses, looking up to see that Rhamina had successfully captured the male duck while Kerstin knelt in the ankle deep water with the female duck sitting on a rock above her with its ducklings with it.

"What the fuck?!" the darkette screeched as the eighteen-year-old turned to face the two on the bridge with a proud smile on her face.

After releasing the duck, the pair met back up with the other members of their group on the other side of the stream.

"That's what you get for wearing canvas shoes," the ravenette lightly chided in response to Kerstin complaining about how her shoes were soaked.

"And that wasn't fair," the younger female huffed as Cloud let out a sigh, "That fucker just sat there and practically let you pick it up!"

"Or maybe you just aren't skilled enough to catch a duck," the blond retorted, earning a gasp from Sierra as Rhamina's eyes nervously flitted between the male and her sister.

"Excuse me, bitch?" Kerstin asked as she got right up in the male's face with an annoyed grin, "You wanna throw fucking hands?"

Before anything else could be said, the ravenette moved in between the two individuals, forcing them away from each other.

"It's about twelve already, so how about we get some lunch?" she asked with a smile, not directly looking at either of them.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Sierra added, watching carefully as the ravenette kept a hand out in front of each person, "the cafe should be open and if we go right now, we might be able to get a balcony table."

Kerstin backed up, but before she walked away said, "I get that you're probably used to working on your own, but you're a part of Apocalypse no. Learn to treat your teammates with respect."

Rhamina let out a sigh as the seventeen-year-old began to walk ahead, lowering the hand in front of Cloud before bringing the other up to scratch at her neck.

She still didn't look up at him, but he knew the teen was talking to him as she said, "I'm sorry about that, but let's not try to work each other up, okay?"

Things were a little more light hearted as the group started eating, but the ex-SOLDIER couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to the images he saw.

Who in the ever loving hell was that girl and why was he getting visions of her? And why now?

The man was quite sure that he had never met that girl in his life, so why now was he being-

"Cloud, honey, are you okay?" Rhamina asked as she placed a hand on his shoulder from the seat next to him. "You were zoning out for awhile there."

"I'm fine," he replied, gently shrugging the female's hand off of his shoulder as Kerstin was finishing up her meal.

"Are you sure?" the ravenette pressed with a tinge of worry visible in her brown eyes, to which the male did not reply.

"Alright then," she shrugged as the waitress walked by to pick up the check, "Just remember, I'll be here if you ever need to talk."

The male merely nodded as everyone got up from their seats to start heading back to their vehicles; however, it wasn't long before something caught the ravenette's attention.

About ten meters to their right, two men were harassing a woman who obviously didn't want to be anywhere near them.

Ignoring the calls of her group, Rhamina walked over to them with a bright smile and asked, "Is that anyway to treat a lady? Or any other human being for that matter?"

"It's obvious she doesn't want the company of either of you so why don't you just leave her alone?" she continued as they turned to her.

"This ain't any of your business, so unless you would like to join her, then I suggest you walk away," one threatened as the other grabbed the girl's wrist.

"Why is it that so many men do not understand the meaning of the word consent?" she asked as she stormed up to the male holding the girl and digging her thumb into a spot in his forearm that contained the nerves leading to his hand, the sudden pain causing him to let go.

"I would start getting out of her, dear," the ravenette mused as both of the men glared at her, causing the other female to dart off in the opposite direction.

"Listen here you little-" the man started as he began to close in on the shorter female, but was cut off as the edge of her opened fan was aimed at his throat.

"And what are you going to do with that?" the other one asked mockingly, "Blow us away?"

Cloud was tempted to move in with his buster sword when the two men began laughing, but he only watched as the teenager flicked her wrist to throw her fan to her left, the weapon slicing right through a tree before returning to her waiting hand.

She raised a brow as both men wordlessly locked their gazes to where the tree once stood before grumbling something the teen didn't care to listen for as they walked away.

The ravenette did not notice the pair of eyes on her form as she tucked her fan away and walked over to apologize to the tree she cut down, but Cloud sure did.

He saw a young Korean man sitting at a bench wearing a black shirt underneath a dark olive colored bomber jacket and a pair of jeans with black sneakers.

Th male was staring at the female while talking on his phone and Cloud did not like the energy he was putting out at all.

As they continued to walk back to where their vehicles were parked, the girls took the time to point out a building sticking out of the water near the island across the water.

"That's the Coronado plant," Sierra explained as the breeze came in, "One of the more powerful ones in California."

"The most unethical inventions of mankind," Kerstin scoffed before turning on her heel and walking away along with Sierra and Rhamina who looked just as disgusted.

Once they got back to the van and motorcycle, they drove south for about five minutes before pulling into the parking lot of a large building.

There were guards at the gate; however, they only gave the two vehicles a passing glance before letting them in, which caused the seed of suspicion to sprout within the blond male.

The group of teenagers was uncharacteristically silent as they walked from where they parked to the entrance of the building where they were greeted by an Asian man wearing a white dress shirt and black pants.

"Hello, Ms Miyu, Vera, and others," the man greeted, causing Sierra to narrow her eyes at the man, "I will be your escort for today."

"Thank you, Mister..." "Nakahara, please follow me," the man spoke before leading the four inside.

They silently followed the man into an elevator and anyone, even a blind person, could see the tension stemming from the obviously annoyed trio of females.

"You know, I don't remember this building being so empty," Sierra commented as the elevator continued to ascend, "Where is everyone?"

"They're all out on missions," Nakahara answered, facing away from the four and straight ahead at the elevator doors.

"Seriously?" Kerstin questioned with a raised brow before locking eyes with Sierra while Rhamina just kept her gaze on the man in front of them.

Her expression was completely void of any emotion as she gently fanned herself with her usual weapon of choice.

As Cloud observed the younger female, he noticed that her hair was lightly floating behind her and he now understood why everyone had been calling him lucky that they did not view him as a threat.

During his time with Apocalypse, some of the members had actually gone up to him and tried to talk to him, many of them being the younger members.

He had recalled that many of them said that when they first saw the ravenette, they were completely intimidated by her presence before they got to know her; and if this was the side of her that they first encountered, then the blond coulnd't blame them.

The way she held herself at the moment screamed authority and demanded full respect, and no matter how hard he tried the male couldn't see what she was thinking.

While reading people wasn't his forte in the first place, it unnerved him to find that the girl who more often than not, wore her emotions on her sleeve was completely unreadable.

All attention was brought back to the ravenette when she finally spoke, asking, "Are you a newer member, Nakahara?"

"No, Ma'am, why do you ask?" the male replied, not even looking over his shoulder to address her.

"Well," she started before snapped her fan shut, a frown appearing on her face while her eyes narrowed at him, "Usually, older members do not tend to reek of fear in the presence of allies."

"So, Nakahara, what reasons would you have to fear us?" she continued as the male visibly tensed.

"Unless,, you're hiding something from us," Kerstin added as they made it to the top floor of the building.

No one said anything else, because it was already obvious. Nothing else needed to be said and the man knew that if he did, he would just be endangering himself.

"The boss will be here shortly," the male said as the four were ushered into an empty but lavish office.

"This is fucking bullshit," Sierra huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, "After all we've done for them, they start pulling this shit without even so much as a word."

"Yeah, I'm beginning to think that this shit is kind of stupid too," the darkette agreed while the ravenette stayed silent, "What do you think, Mina?"

"While I am annoyed at all the secrecy, I will withhold my judgement until we get an explanation," the ravenette sighed from her spot on the couch as Cloud stood beside her.

"You're awfully patient today," Kerstin commented as she plopped down on the couch next to her, "you would usually be talking shit."

"True, but I would actually like to work this out as peacefully as possible," Rhamina replied, "These people, well some of them, are friends after all. I would hate to lose them like this."

"Mina, that's really cute and all, but you know we might have to beat the shit out of them," the younger female spoke as she placed a hand on the ravenette's shoulder.

"And we will if it comes to that," she answered, but it was easy to see that she didn't complete her thoughts.

Before Cloud could press further, the door to the office opened to reveal a teenage girl who looked to be a human sized porcelain doll.

She had pale skin and medium length black hair styled into twin pigtails secured with white bows.

Her round, dark eyes were brought out by her powder pink blush and blood red lipstick.

The girl wore a gothic black dress with white cuffs and a white collar as well as other accessories that matched her aesthetic.

"Greetings, representatives of Apocalypse," she greeted formally before bowing a full ninety degrees at the hip.

"Hana," Sierra identified as the younger female straightened herself out completely, "Where is your father?"

"That would be the current situation," the girl replied in a flat tone, displaying no emotion as she did.

"What situation?" Kerstin questioned as she sat up straight.

"My father had gone missing, leaving me in charge," she explained, "My primary focus for the past few weeks was to recover him."

"So, let me get this straight," Rhamina said as she stood from her spot with her hands clasped together in front of her chest, "You divulged all of your resources into finding your father, leaving your territory practically unattended and basically ghosting us; instead of calling on your allies for help?"

"You. Absolute. Dunce," the ravenette seethed through gritted teeth before she took a deep breath, a guilty frown forming on the doll's face.

"Do you know what I saw in Seaport village today? Smaller gangs crawling in because there was no one regulating the borders," the eighteen-year-old spoke.

"Yeah, and I'm sure you noticed that someone has activated the plant in Coronado," Sierra added from her spot, standing behind the couch.

"Yes, I have," Hana spoke, looking to the ground before Rhamina placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hana, I know finding your father is at the top of your priority list, but you need to think about the whole picture," If things continue like this, then finding him will just get harder and what if you were allied with someone unreasonable? They would have just stormed your territory if you ghosted them."

"I... understand," the female spoke before bowing her head in shame.

With a nod, Rhamina retracted her hand before asking, "Do you know what mistakes you've made?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how to fix them?"

"Will you actually ask for help when you need it this time?"

"Yes."

"Alright then, now that's out of the way," Rhamina chirped, a bright smile returning to her face, "We'll take care of the generator situation starting tomorrow and if you father isn't found by the time we get done, then we'll help with that too!"

"You'll still help me?" the Japanese girl asked with confusion written all over her face, "Even after all the trouble I just put you through?"

"Yep, but we're not doing it for free, I'm not that nice," the female chuckled with a quick wink in the young girl's direction.

"Then what would you like in return?" Hana asked, holding her hands together, "i will have your equipment delivered as soon as possible, but what else?"

"You're paying for the dinner we're getting when this is all over," Rhamina spoke as she bounced on the balls of her feet.

"And it won't be cheap!" she continued upon seeing the surprised look on the doll's face, "I want the Korean barbecue down in the south side of the Asian district!"

"Yes, of course," Hana replied with a soft smile as the other girls began cheering about the free food before her eyes drifted over to the blond who just looked bored.

He gave off a strange aura, one that she had never seen before and she did not like it one bit.

"God dammit Hana, you had us all stressed out for nothing!" Kersting sighed before walking over to ruffle the girl's hair," Just tell us about this kind of shit and we'll help out."

"I apologize," the female spoke once more with a small bow before continuing, "As you are staying here, please allow me to accompany you to your hotel."

"Of course!" the ravenette chirped as she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl.

The entire walk out to the parking lot, Cloud stayed silent as he walked behind the girls, just watching their interactions but even as he did, he couldn't help but feel like there was a pair of eyes on him.

Once the girls were in the van, Hana got straight to the point in asking, "Who is that man?"

"He's a new recruit," Kerstin explained from her spot in the passenger's seat, "Came to us a few weeks ago."

"And you let him come here with you?" the noirette asked with a raised brow from next to Rhamina.

"He's quite capable, Hana. That sword isn't just for show," the ravenette assured, "Plus he's new to California, so the travel would be good for him."

"So where is he from then?" the doll asked as her eyes narrowed, only earning a shrug from each of the girls.

"We don't really know, but he's useful and kinda... nice, I guess," Sierra said, not taking her eyes off of the road.

"I know he may be outwardly cold and brutally blunt at times, but he's a good person," Rhamina spoke as she looked out the window with a small smile, "I trust him."

As the younger female looked up at the eighteen-year-old, she saw nothing but the pure truth.

Rhamina trusted him; however, the noirette knew that this could be a dangerous situation for the older female.

Whoever had the ravenette's full trust usually had her unyielding loyalty to accompany it, even if it went against her own safety.

The ride was over when they arrived at a luxurious hotel, much more extravagant than the one that Apocalypse used for housing, but it was to be expected.

It was silent for the most part as they rode up the elevator with all of their luggage, save for Rhamina who was humming the melody of an old pop song as she read a 'book' on her phone.

"This is where you'll be staying for the time being," Hana said as they stepped off the elevator and entered the penthouse, "I hope it is to your liking."

"Yeah, it's fine," Kerstin said as she immediately walked into the kitchen while throwing her bag onto one of the couches she passed, "Thanks, Hana."

"I'm going to go claim my room now," Rhamina said before disappearing down the hall with a small wave.

"Same," Sierra spoke before following the older female, leaving Cloud and Hana standing in the entryway.

"So," she started, looking up to the swordsman, "It is to my understanding that you are a new recruit to Apocalypse, yes?"

"Yeah, and I'm guessing you're Yukitara's daughter," the blond replied as he met the girl's dead gaze.

"You must be something else if Rhamina herself recruited you," she spoke before her eyes narrowed, a dark glint in her brown hues.

"If you break her trust, then you'll wish you'd never been born," she hissed before walking back into the elevator.

Already used to those kinds of threats, Cloud easily brushed off the statement before walking down the hall with his bag so he could take one of the five bedrooms.

After about half an hour of getting settled in, a knock came from the other side of the ravenette's door before a familiar voice asked, "Hey, Mina, do you have any pads?"

A look of horror crossed the eighteen-year-old's face as she dropped her pen and pulled out her phone to check her calendar.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed before she capped her pen, put her journal away, pulled on her boots, grabbed her purse, and opened the door.

"Did you forget, too?" Sierra asked after hearing the older female's rush from behind the wooden door.

"Yep, shark week for me starts in three days, so off to the pharmacy we go," Rhamina sang as she and Sierra walked out the penthouse, taking one of the key cards with them.

A few minutes later, Cloud was brought out of his thoughts by his phone buzzing, a text notification appearing on screen once he checked it.

It was a message from Rhamina, telling him where she and Sierra went and to make sure that Kerstin didn't set anything on fire.

'Knowing her,' he thought, standing up from his spot on the bed, 'She probably would.'

The male then fastened his buster sword to his back before walking over to the dining area where he saw the darkette with a bottle of whiskey and a glass filled with the liquid.

"Hey, Cloud," she greeted before taking a sip of the alcoholic beverage, "Want some?"

"Sure, but should you really be drinking that?" the blond asked, remaining on his feet as the female pulled out another glass from out of nowhere and began filling it, "How old are you?"

"Seventeen, but it's fine," she replied, handing him the glass," I've been drinking for years, I know my limits."

"Whatever you say," the male shrugged as he took a sip of the slightly bitter liquid.

"So, what were you before you ended up in this world?" Kerstin asked as she looked up at the male, "Your skills with that sword tell me that you weren't your normal, everyday son of a bitch."

"I was an ex-SOLDIER," the blond replied, knowing he basically gave his entire backstory to Rhamina the day after he met her.

"Military, huh?" the darkette asked before gulping down whatever was left in her cup, immediately filling it back up again, "Believe it or not; me, Sierra, and Mina all came from military families."

"Sierra's dad was in the Army and both of my parents were in the Navy, same with Mina's parents," she continued before her face morphed into a scowl, "Fucking bitches."

Cloud let out a hum of confusion as he slowly worked at his drink and the younger female was happy to explain.

"I loved auntie, but I fucking hated the way she treated Mina," she started, "Always getting on her ass for her grades which were pretty good. Mina was actually working her ass off to earn those grades, only to be constantly told that it was never good enough. Not to mention the fact that she kept blaming Mina for the stupidest shit."

"Their high expectations are why she gets so stressed out over things," the teen huffed, "Sure she's a little better now, but this kind of life is so full of stress. I'm just glad she hasn't had a breakdown recently."

"What about her father?" the ex-SOLDIER asked, his curiosity beginning to peak through his normal personality.

"She hasn't mentioned her father that much, but from what I know and what Mina told us, I can deduce that her father was an absolute scumbag!" Kerstin snapped before slamming her drink.

"The fucker was so unreasonable and manipulative and if things didn't go his way, he would get violent," she explained, before she locked eyes with the blond, "You know, he almost killed Mina multiple times. And that was all before she even turned ten!"

Cloud let out a small gasp at the revelation; while he was used to violence and near death, he could only imagine how mentally damaging it was to a child to have almost been killed by one of their parents and more than once at that!

"That isn't even the end of it either," the female grumbled before letting out a sigh.

"Listen, I don't think she wanted anyone to find this out, but I'm pretty sure that fucker murdered her mother," the darkette spoke in a low tone, "They were having constant arguments before she died and the way he disappeared so soon after she did, couldn't have been a coincidence."

Before Cloud even had a chance to ask further, the front door opened and a familiar voice sung, "We're back and we brought dinner for later!"

"Hey, Cloud, don't let her know about any of that, okay? The topic of her parents is really touchy."

"Alright," the male agreed with a frown as Rhamina entered the dining area with a bright smile on her face.

"What did I miss?"

~~~Fin. Chapter 4~~~

Masterlist

#Apocalypse #Chapter 4 #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy VII #FFVII #ffvii remake #Cloud Strife x OC

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