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Kawaiipon
Biromantic Asexual - She/He/They
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I just read your asexual Dabi fic and it was like I was reading a transcript of my thoughts about asexuality and coming to terms with it. Sorry to be random but just wanted to tell you I appreciated seeing myself so clearly written (even though it was a bit eerie lol)
Oh! I wrote it for a friend, so it was based off their experiences, and I'm Asexual myself, so it was bound to be quite personal! I'm glad you were also able to feel seen! x
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Atsuhiro Sako ღ Mr Compress x Reader:
[A/N]: This is a female reader, but I'm not sure how explicit my reasoning is in the story.
-----
Upon the desk lay flowers pressed and kept, accessories to the letters from which you couldn't escape. Surrendering them to earth or flame had been an endeavour of herculean proportion, and each time, your heart had wavered. How could such things be destined for destruction? In them, were written verses so impassioned by romance, that all who read them would surely swoon. And each flower had a meaning, for he understood their language like a scholar understands his discipline. Heliotrope was a declaration of eternal love and devotion, whilst a Red Camellia stood for love and passion. He gave you a Yarrow for lasting love, and a Honeysuckle for your bond. But, the final flower...you loathed to dwell on its meaning.
A Purple Hyacinth. It conveyed an apology, a mind fraught with regret...it asked for forgiveness, but how could you forgive a man of such iniquity? His reign over your heart had been plagued by deceit. But you yourself had been plagued by a graver poison, an ailment most foul, though the layman might stoop to call it love. It was love, but it was also pain and sorrow. Such desperate pain and sorrow.
Your tear-clouded gaze fell forthwith upon a letter.
My darling, your beauty could never be dulled by moonlight, and is only made more desirable by daylight. It yields to no force, natural or otherwise. It remains, and will forever. I will never tire of looking upon it, though for this, I admit I may be admonished. It is such a worthy distraction, but in my field, distractions are rarely tolerated. Know that I apologise with a sincerity that cannot be measured.
- A.S
He wrote with the grace and eloquence of a thousand poets, and at every word, you wept. You couldn't linger on them, although you wished to, or love's splendid doctrine would burden you with hope. But there was no hope, neither of reunion nor of replication with another. You were bound, loyal only to the memories of your lost love. He wasn't dead, but simply...gone. He walked out of your life so easily, as though the plot had, for aye, been beyond a hatchling. You understood nothing. You still felt so lost. Why couldn't love be straightforward? The despair, the dependency...
You clung to those letters, and the heartache they incurred.
Your lips seem a most desirable perch, and I would rest there for eternity, if you allowed.
- A.S
Beside that letter, decorated with the splashes of manifest sorrow, lay another, written by your hand. In the advent of your courtship, you had exchanged many, though of a much merrier tone. This one...he had never received it, for you had never sent it. By the hour of its conception, he was long gone.
I wanted to believe in you. But I was scared. I was so scared! What would they have done to you, if I was captured? How else had you deceived me? Had anything been true, or had I merely been victim to the folly of romance, of an ideal that could never touch reality? Why had you kept from me everything of importance? Why had you hidden your truth? I blame you, wholeheartedly, for my pain. But it was so hard not to apologise, when I'm sorry for everything. The day I lost you, I lost my world...I lost the part of me that made me whole.
- (Y/n)
His was a cowardly departure, unequivocally driven by fear - he had always taken such careful steps to ensure that home and work remained separate, never intertwining. But when all was revealed, he feared retribution, feared the consequence of his own duplicity. So rather than facing you, he fled. He understood the cravenness of the act, but it wasn't something he could help. Not when you finally knew the real him. His most authentic self, although a source of pride, could never be loved. You weren't of equal conviction. You had no dormant streak of villainy. You were so pure of heart, and so gentle of practice. You couldn't be tied to a liesmith, or force-fed a dogma of drivel. Atsuhiro had some morals, even if you were the only beneficiary. He couldn't have predicated your descent into this melancholy longing. Or, perhaps he hadn't wished to consider it. Had the thought chased away the mistress of somnolence, he never would've have been able to stave off his return.
But oh, he wished to return to you, to relive every shiver of romance...to not feel quite so alone. He couldn't, of course. Not given current circumstances, and with the near-decimation of an entire populace.
Deika City played host to his body, but his heart had never left yours. He missed everything - the eyes that devoted themselves to him, that giddy, love-struck smile when he first called your name, and the night you had thanked him for never forgetting it. He heard your name in every love song, and your voice on the wind. He saw your face on every woman, and on every lover, he saw the happiness that he had sacrificed.
May I compare thee to a Dahlia in full bloom? I assume you are familiar with this flower, as a perfect reflection of your grace and strength. Of the latter, that required to grant me access to your most genuine self...it is incomparable. You are incomparable. You are beautiful, and so unequivocally you. I will forever be thankful that you chose to share with me such delicate insight. I swell with pride at the thought of you, and I pray that one day, your mind will allow you that same feeling. You are more than deserving of pride, and of love for yourself. Until then, I promise to love and to cherish you, as if with the hearts of a thousand men.
- A.S
If a single hope, or a dream, could ever reach the stars, then the spirits of love would hasten to reconcile your union. But you were closed to astral influence, and knew nothing of prayers. His alone were inadequate. And although you beheld the same sky, although you gazed at the same heavens...you never found your missing pieces. The stars offered nothing but a torturous truth: that you would never find each other, no matter the breadth of your search.
Oh, curse the wretchedness of love!
[Word Count: 1063]
#my hero academia#atsuhiro sako x reader#atsuhiro sako#bnha mr compress#mr compress x reader#mr compress#bnha x reader#bnha imagines#bnha#angst#romance#fanfiction
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Friendly reminder that Bones has a crush on Hawks.
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I don’t really know what people generally call this method of sigil making, so I’m just calling it “Letter Shaping” because you’re using the basic shapes from certain letters.
This is the most common form of sigil making, and it allows the most creative influence. As you see above the sigils are for nearly the same thing, yet the sigils came out completely different. Not because the purpose was different, but because I approached them both a different creative way, and that’s what I like so much about this method. There’s a lot of freedom and personalization involved.
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Book of Shadows Ideas that Aren’t Basic
sacred geometry
what damages crystals
what is a crystal grid and how do i make one?
candle flame reading
bone correspondences
what is a poppet? how do i use it?
basic alchemical symbols
ways to break a hex
favorite cryptids and their lore
what is your philosophy on witchcraft?
what is a liminal space?
scrying
how to trap a spirit in a jar or mirror
ghost hunting
species of demons
witchy books you’ve read, and a review or rating of the book (go to archive.org for free pdfs for books)
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This took an inordinate amount of effort.
(Good Omens) Beelzebub x GN Reader:
3k words - The reader runs into Beelzebub while chasing their daughter, and Beelzebub decides to follow them.
—–
Something stirred, deep within their heart - a feeling so pure, so unbridled…perhaps it was love? They couldn’t be certain, but the tiny wings of many a butterfly toiled to trace the lining of their stomach. They wanted to understand the feeling - that which had been hidden from them for millennia. To whom was it directed? What purpose did it serve? Nothing thus had sent them into such a state of confusion. This feeling…it shouldn’t have been possible. But, perhaps it too was a cog in the wheel of the Great Plan. After all, God often sacrificed sense for inanity.
No…it couldn’t be love.
But this…it seemed so innocent, and the implications…they didn’t bear considering. As a demon, a being avowedly void of the very capacity, well…they should’ve been immune. It should’ve been a far-flung fantasy, a tale only told as fiction. But seeing you here, a child hanging from your arm…Beelzebub could feel a spark of…something. It was something wrong, they were certain - positive, and therefore very, very wrong indeed. It was something that defied logic, that gave the demon pause and instilled a confusion deep within. Your meeting, albeit temporary, had hindered their plans to a great extent. They were supposed to be monitoring Crowley (a task annoying in and of itself), not…following some human. Not even an hour had passed since your paths had crossed, and yet they felt such intrigue.
Keep reading
#beelzebub#lord beelzebub#romance#pining#good omens#good omens oneshot#good omens x reader#y/n#gender neutral
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Alright, so I created a Ko-fi...um, I’m still not sure if anyone really cares about that, but it’s there, and also linked on my Masterlist. Anything you could spare to support myself and my work would mean the world, but please remember that this is 100% voluntary. I’ll be ever-so-grateful, but don’t feel an obligation ^^
Also, I’m thinking at some point I should make a blog dedicated to Good Omens...there isn’t enough content for Beelzebub and Gabriel...
Buy me a coffee <3
#ko-fi#my hero academia#bnha x reader#bnha#fanfiction#masterlist#good omens#beelzebub#gabriel#aziraphale#crowley#writing#todoroki x reader#dabi#hawks
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Keigo Takami ღ Hawks x Reader:
Buy me a coffee!! <3
[A/N]: Making an effort to keep these gender-neutral now, and to miss out trigger words where possible, but that being said...
Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Past Suicide Attempts, Suicide.
Light Manga Spoilers
----
Atop this building, the echoes of a life fraught with pain married the voice that demanded a permanent silence. Your thoughts were far from temporary, existing in the day-to-day and littering your heart with scars. They were the authority, final and absolute. But their origins, although rooted deep within the past...they weren't the reason you were here. Their influence was limited, overshadowed by a darker reality - something that compelled you, an innocent, to such an extreme...something that murdered your mind, gave it acquiesce to sit upon this rooftop, while the rain cascaded around. 'Twas the death of your heart, your home, your love...The heavens had opened, as if hearing your call, your plea for ascension. You had a future there, whereas here, on this lonely Earth, you did not.
Over the last few years, you'd slowly begun to phase out what seemed of little importance. First: intimate contact with anyone, be it friend, relative, acquaintance or stranger. Second: contact in all its forms. Third: the way to shirk responsibility and all trains of thought - sleep. The circles under your eyes were becoming quite prominent. And finally: food. You couldn't bear to set the table for one, so you didn't set it at all.
"Do you think I can reach the stars?" Your words were but whispers, void of a sprightly edge. You whispered to Keigo, as you had on occasions past. "'If kisses were stars, I would give you the sky'. Who was it...who said that? Well...it's true. I would give you the sky, without rhyme or reason, or even question...if only the angels would allow."
Keigo was the only one to whom you resolved to speak. His presence lingered in the halls of your home, in your place of employment, and everywhere you ventured. If a breath of cold air was of particular fancy, then Keigo's memory was certain to join. You still spoke, still vented...still cried, all to him. In life, he'd given you everything - every small part of him, for safekeeping. In death, he stole away your heart and soul.
"Life was easier with you here." You sighed, repeating the words like a mantra, as if they were your last. "It was better."
Of course, that was something he'd know, regardless of circumstance. Whether in life, death or rebirth...Keigo would've known. Leaving you behind, leaving you lost and broken, wandering this plain until your angels granted the courage you so desperately needed...it hadn't been a conscious decision. You'd never doubt that. Never. Not in a million years. You'd understood the pressure he was under, the ever-mounting workload and that...that job. He'd made it clear that to refuse would be outrageous. You'd known he didn't have a choice. And you'd never blamed him. Not once.
A tear slipped down your cheek, ghosting across the newly-formed smile, which was gentle in character but woven from the silver threads of sorrow. "I've...I've tried this before. I'm sure you know. I've just...I've never wished to live without you. I've tried, but it's hard...and I'm so tired."
Tried you had, when neither blistering summer nor frigid winter could trouble your mind. It was focused, always. And on occasion, you'd been saved, rescued by a hero who knew little of life's torment, and nothing of that with which you were afflicted. You hoped they'd never know, never discover everything wrong with life. You'd been thankful to them, for chasing away the Reaper. But nothing lasts forever, and everything that exists within the clutch of nature must eventually wither. Only this time...you prayed that no-one would save you. Left to your own devices, the path you chose was right. It must've been.
It could be the cure for this poisonous mixture of pain, grief and lassitude. "Can you...come back to me?" Your tears fell in no uniform manner, but you hadn't the energy to wipe them. They couldn't be seen by another being, and only you felt their heartache on your tongue. "...You can't. I know you can't. Can you try?...Please? I just want you back. I just...want you home."
Then maybe...maybe I wouldn't have to do this. Maybe I wouldn't have to hurt my family and my friends...maybe I'd have a place in this world, again. Maybe I'd feel like I mattered, like I felt with you.
But even if you begged all those blinking stars, all the gods and the angels in Heaven...you knew it wouldn't make a difference. Fate was written, after all - predetermined...and any effort to change it had thus fallen flat. Keigo always joked about his history, but the enduring memories of abuse and neglect must have caused his heart inordinate distress. He shared those memories with you, of course, though never in too thorough detail. You were glad for it - a sad life story at the expense of his current happiness was a trade you weren't ever willing to make. No true lover would.
Your mind cycled through each stage of your life, from childhood's hour to your teenage years, to meeting Keigo, to almost marrying him, to...to losing him. The look in your eyes was so distant, as though you wished to be anywhere but here. Well...you would be, soon. Everything prior to this, every failed attempt...they weren't failures, per say. You just hadn't been ready.
But now you were.
Any moment now, at your mind's instruction, you would wander to the edge of this building, and then...you would fall. After years of trial, of anguish and isolation...you would finally be free.
"I don't want to forget that plan we had, the future we mapped out for ourselves. Please tell me you remember it. Please tell me we can act on it." You whispered up at the stars, straining for any hint of response.
None came, and none ever would. It would've taken a miracle, preferably administered by an angel, over a demon. But certainties were things best saved for story books, and those who charted fate. Your legacy lay beside you, and though not carried away by the wind, the rain had served to dampen it. 'Twas a small note, ripped from a page. On it, you had inked words which might once have been imbued with a potent despair, but which now betrayed not an ounce of emotion. The ink had dripped. It wasn't a first draft; you had written it many times over, getting shorter and more concise, until it simply read:
This is no-one's fault. There is nothing tethering me to this life, any longer. Please accept that, alongside my apology: I'm sorry.
And that time, when you smiled...it was the very last time. "I'm ready to fall. I'll meet you shortly, Keigo."
[Word Count: 1115]
#my hero academia#angst#trigger warnings#death#suicide#keigo takami#keigo takami x reader#bnha hawks#bnha hawks x reader#hawks x reader#my hero academia imagine#possible old-timey language
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Sorry I didn’t upload this on Valentine’s, but it is a Valentine’s scenario!
Katsuki Bakugou x Reader:
Buy me a coffee!! <3
"It's that time again, huh?"
The appeal of a romance-oriented holiday had never resonated with Bakugou, for obvious reasons. He'd forged a clear and concise map of the future, and not once amid the scrawl of 'Defeat all the villains' and 'Reign supreme as an explosive, immortal GOD' had he written 'Love'. To him, it served as little more than a chemical imbalance, an inconvenient and frankly irritating part of many people's lives. But he wasn't a sheep, and he didn't need a partner.
However, no amount of scorn could save him from conformity to social pressure.
You sauntered into his world, and his advances were restricted only by a demurral to concede to his heart. Why should this frivolous emotion control his life? And for a time, he considered seeking out an optician, less for his eyes and (if such a thing existed) more for his heart. Then, it could see that the feelings it graced him with, and all that followed - sweatier-than-usual palms, near cardiac arrest, and the like - were violations of his status as a god. Alas, he realised that would be a silly thing to google. He suffered with the thoughts for many days and nights, until you took note of his pitiful state. You reached out a metaphorical hand (although he would've preferred a real one), letting him know that you were always available for a chat. He rejected your offer quite harshly, but you didn't seem too put-out.
In fact, you showed up to class on the subsequent day with flowers and chocolate in tow. He hadn't known it was Valentine's Day. That caused a great stir, indeed.
But two years down the line, your relationship was secure. Well...
Bakugou was running, a villain in impassioned pursuit. Normally, he would've turned and blasted them into oblivion, but right now...right now, you were of greater importance. In all actuality, he hadn't noticed the villain. Instead, he'd heard a distant scream - your scream. Your anguish was almost palpable, and he couldn't stand even the thought. He decided to forgo his battles, and run to you. If he didn't...
He shook his head, anger and fear circling his body. You had become something...someone he couldn't live without. You never strayed from a fight, and you always won. He'd never heard such an expression of pain - not from your lips. He needed to get there, and quickly. He couldn't bear a single thought of your condition, but he couldn't remove them from his mind. It raced with the possibilities, and it was so much faster than his feet. Even with the addition of his quirk...
Actually...he seemed to slow down. What was happening? He hadn't tripped, he hadn't stilled of his own volition. But somehow...that didn't seem to matter. He was slowing, explosions fading until they were nothing more than sparks. The villain had caught up, but he paid him no heed. No...he was looking at you. Or, more accurately...he was looking at your body. Your corpse. You'd fallen, though you had retained your grace and otherwordly beauty, until the bitter end. Your opponent had also fallen. So you had given a viscous fight, and in a way...you'd won.
But, Bakugou...he'd lost everything.
His broken screams carried the pain of nations.
You awoke to that very sound, strident and tortured. You knew immediately that Bakugou was the source, so you left the comfort of your bed with no hesitation. You'd never heard such a scream - not from his lips. Your rooms were adjacent, and you'd copied each other's keys in the first year, for 'emergencies'. That usually consisted of impromptu study sessions and movie nights, not...real emergencies. You let yourself in, finding Bakugou on his bed, covers kicked aside. He had fallen silent, though tears crept down his cheeks. You launched yourself at his side, prepared to do anything...anything at all, to ease his affliction.
It was a nightmare, certainly, but...of what?
You shook him with gentle hands, unsure of what grave consequence might apply were you to startle the sleep from his mind. You'd heard tall tales of that sort, and you weren't ready to test them. His name rolled off your tongue, as you chased your intent. It was whispered, muttered, nigh-yelled...
And then he woke, giving himself to your awaiting arms. You had expected a cuddle, but not this iron grip. For a moment, you rocked him, and all was quiet.
"I thought you...I-I saw you..." His words were punctured by tears, but you wiped each one away. "You were...you died. I couldn't save you! I couldn't...I can't - can't lose you again...! Please...please don't leave."
"I won't leave, Katsuki. Can you tell me everything? Please?" When your lips met his forehead, his breathing began to even.
He nodded, feeling defeat, sorrow, pain and loss...as if they were one. "You...I...I heard you scream, so I ran. I ran so fucking fast, but I slowed down...I didn't want to, I just...my quirk stopped, and I found you...You were...you were dead. I saw it...I saw you. I couldn't...I couldn't do anything! I was too late...too late to save you! I thought I'd lost you forever."
Your breath hitched. That...he was that afraid of losing you? "I'm here, Katsuki. I'll always be here. My quirk's pretty strong, y'know? Frostbite can do a number on anyone."
"I know that...I know. I'm just...I'm scared."
It was rare for Katsuki to display such vulnerability, openly - even rarer than a Blue Moon! In this moment, you weren't sure whether to be more worried or honoured. His love soared to heights you'd never even imagined. You smiled, in spite of his words, eyes flitting to the clock above.
04:57
Nothing could stop that smile from growing wider and more radiant, with each passing second.
"Katsuki, hon...Happy Valentine's."
[Word Count: 970]
#valentine's#bnha x reader#bnha#my hero academia#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki x reader#my hero academia x reader#angsty bit#nightmare
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Hi guys!
[Update]: I made one! If you’d like to support myself and my writing, this is my Ko-fi! Thank you in advance <3
So,, I’m thinking of creating a Ko-Fi, and just linking it at the bottom of my posts? Please let me know if this isn’t something you’d like, but remember that you don’t have to buy the coffee!! I’ve seen this done before, and it probably won’t do much (I don’t know the age range of my audience, and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel obliged), but it’d help me out immensely! I’m currently out of both work and education (hopefully not for long, though!), and applying for (and staying in) things with my awful mental health is a struggle...
So yeah, this is just an idea, maybe not a great one, and I’ve been nervously toiling with it for ages, but...yea, I’ll see what happens
Hopefully I’ll be back to writing properly soon! I post everything on Wattpad first ^^
#bnha x reader#my hero academia#hawks#keigo takami#ko-fi#coffee#talking 'bout mental health#hawks x reader#that was my latest fic#well technically it was#bakugou x reader#but#explosion boy
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Keigo Takami ღ Hawks x Reader:
Buy me a coffee!! <3
"Remind me again why I had to let you go, kid? Do they really think they can protect you better than I can?" He chuckled dryly into the phone. "That's quite a hefty claim. Let's hope it has substance."
You sighed, although the shiver of amusement in your voice didn't escape notice. "Why do you call me that? I'm only four years younger than you."
"What? Would you prefer I call you 'Vixen', or 'Pup'? How about 'Kit'?" At the names, you could feign ire, but only for a short while.
Keigo's voice soothed a modicum of the longing in your heart. "I...I miss you."
He cooed. "Aww, I know, baby. I miss you too. D'you want me to come over later, give you some more stuff? I think you've got a few of my jackets...might wanna patch them up, though. Wing holes'll make your back cold."
"I'm fine, Kei...you don't have to cause a scene, just to bring me stuff. My quirk doesn't act up that much, and my room's already covered in your scent. And...if I covered up the slits in your jackets, they wouldn't seem like yours anymore..."
Those words entertained thoughts and memories some might covet, though only without the rueful addition of time. Those existing within the moment, the present moment, were less subject. You preferred them, but time rarely stopped, or rewound. It sullied every memory. It killed every thought, every shred of joy. You were supposed to live with Keigo, work alongside him, be present for each new memory. You'd felt obliged, or perhaps pressured, to move to UA Heights. You had no wish to be separated from Keigo, nor any real responsibility for the safety of your class. But the mantra 'safety in numbers' rang as true as ever, and you hadn't wanted to be the odd one out.
"You sure?" He paused, waiting to hear your muffled 'Hmm', before returning to complain about the conduct of UA. "They plucked you from the nest, kinda abruptly. I know it's your school n' all, but, you're 18...we just bought that house!! I never know what to do when I get back and you're not there. It feels wrong. I don't like it."
Guilt pricked at your eyes, but in your heart, you knew it had no place. "I don't like it either, but...my classmates. I couldn't leave them. Everyone's here, and...and I'm perfectly safe. You don't have to worry about me, Kei."
"I shouldn't. I know that, but...you're still my beautiful angel, y'know? I can't help being a little apprehensive. It's not really a new environment for you, but you're away from the nest...you're away from me. But you'll graduate soon, I guess, so you'll be home in no time. Just gotta look at the positives."
His encouragement sounded very...self-directed. Had you not been biting back a symphony of heartbreak, you might've laughed. It seemed ludicrous, your sadness misplaced or heightened to theatrics. But this relationship meant everything to you.
Keigo was right, of course, and not simply talking out of his ass. "Mm, March isn't that far off. It'll be hard, but...it's gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay. Just...Just say this won't break us, that it won't destroy what we have...?"
"I'd never let it. You know I wouldn't." He listened for any sniffle, any trace of a tear - between his quirk and his attention, he could hear those things as clear as crystal, even through the phone. "We'll be fine. Of course we will. I can still watch over you, no problem, and we can meet on Sundays, if there aren't too many villains..."
"Yeah...I'd like that. You still saving a place for me at your agency?" You hummed, ears straining to hear his every breath. Your tail hadn't lifted from its perch between your legs; it mirrored the sorrow that bloomed evermore in your heart.
Though, his laugh could brighten you slightly. "D'you still want it?"
"Absolutely. I've seen you in action, Keigo. You're pretty incredible." Your words made him flush, a glimmer of accomplishment, of pride, flitting across his eyes.
This was the antithesis of normality - for Keigo, at least. The character he played in the midst of public scrutiny, his persona...it was cocky and suave, but calm and void of fear. The reality was very different. Keigo's fears ran deep - he feared the violent hand of his father, he feared being tossed to the side by the ones who pulled his strings, and, most terrifying...he feared losing you. You were so precious, yet so addictive. He'd never had the strength, nor the heart, to release you. He'd always assumed his love was a cage, and yet...you seemed to like it. The captivity...it was akin to a warm, fuzzy blanket.
You made him realise that Hawks, the hero and Keigo, the man...they weren't the same. The identity he'd been forced to relinquish...it was still him! That quiet little boy...he was still in there somewhere. You helped him find himself. But this time, the hurt and shame...you didn't let them in.
"Reclaim yourself - your name, your life...don't give them so much against you."
It was, however, mostly trial and error. He hadn't ever found comfort in his identity. Not until the advent of your relationship. And even then...
"You're pretty incredible yourself, dove. Everything you've done for me, everything you've said...I want you to know how much I appreciate that. Without you, I...well, you already know." He smiled, and although the distance eclipsed it from your eyes, somehow...you knew it was there.
You smiled too, in an act of solidarity and love. "Yeah...I know."
[Word Count: 939]
#my hero academia#bnha x reader#hawks x reader#bnha hawks#keigo takami#keigo takami x reader#angst i guess
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anything is gender neutral if you have enough spite and distaste for the government
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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭ Reblog to help save a life!!! Trans Lifeline is a crisis hotline specifically dedicated to the well being of transgender people. If you or a trans person you know feels afraid or unsafe, there’s help available at US:(877)565-8860 and CANADA:(877)330-6366
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Tamaki Amajiki x Reader
Buy me a coffee!! <3
Trigger Warnings: Mention of Death, Depression.
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Immortality - the reality of your life, but hardly grandiose. It slowly became more akin to a curse. The disillusion presented itself, drenched in both fury and sorrow, when you watched your first lover die. 'Cardiac Arrest', they said. 'For no-one's sake but your own, you must move on', they said. But between the rush of blood howling in your ears, and the untamed stream of tears dripping down your cheeks, you hadn't heard them. Had you even wished to? Perhaps it all just pained you so, that the ignorance had been subconscious, yet...somehow still intentional? You couldn't bear to hurt, or simply to feel...even think! So maybe you had shut out the help, the advice, because it was much easier to pretend - pretend that your soulmate, the one with whom you could have happily shared the universe, had breathed his very last.
Death wasn't uncommon, and even to the end, he hadn't feared it. The icy grip coiled around his neck, choking any remaining semblance of life. And for a fleeting moment, you thought you saw the marks. Five fingers. Five stages of grief. You succumbed to despair in a hasty fashion, but you were never able to accept.
You couldn't let go; you refused to lose his memory. So, for a heart-breaking while, you continued as per routine - cooking meals for two, fluffing up both sets of pillows in the evening, making one-sided small talk, or pursuing even deeper conversations about love and marriage. You would recite your dreams (night terrors, to be more accurate), tell him that you worried for his safety, lovingly whisper "goodbye" and "welcome home" as his work schedule dictated. You still included him in debates concerning your favourite shows. You still let him know that you would always, always give him the world. You still rubbed your stomach, wondering how the future would look.
You pushed everyone aside, until no-one was in your corner. No-one except him. No-one except a ghost, a shadow looming over your shoulder, a gentle endearment on the wind. It was merely survival.
And then...deep-seated anger started to fester. Why? Why had he deemed it necessary to leave? And when would he return? Had his love ever been genuine, or just a forgery? Why did he go? Where did he go? And why...why wasn't he saved? Someone should have saved him, right? Right...? A doctor, a hero? Someone?...Anyone?!
"I should never have given you my heart."
Bargaining followed shortly thereafter, and then depression, which lingered.
It lingered...and it pierced. Your heart was the victim, and your veins the conduits, transporting the blades. They stabbed and they splintered. It was physical, emotional, mental agony. You remembered every small detail, intricately. You never let a single thing escape your mind. From those adorably pointy, elf-like ears, to the shyness you found sad yet so endearing...you vowed never to forget anything. You couldn't move on. You couldn't reclaim your life. Perhaps he had taken your soul as a companion, and it now lay beside him, buried beneath the earth.
"All I ever asked for was a lifetime with you."
And a lifetime you may yet receive. You contemplated many...sacrilegious things whilst in the throes of despair and depression, and for not acting upon them, a reward was surely deserved? The universe listened to your plight, sometimes silent, sometimes violent, and decided that the torment was far too severe. Despite the immortality, your soul was young, and your heart pure. Your frustrations originated from loss. You weren't angry with the world. You were angry with quirks, with doctors and heroes, and with your own life.
But, a new era would herald change.
It would herald the reunion of two long-lost lovers, of a girl who scorned the very fabric of society for failing her dearest, and a boy consumed by anxiety.
It began, strangely enough, with the 3rd Year UA Sports Festival. It was by chance that you happened upon the coverage. You half-watched, noting the quirks as mediocre, uninteresting. The heroics students seemed to lead almost immediately, or so the commentator announced. You didn't really know, or care. To you, it was nothing but background noise. There was an untouched cup of coffee on the table, growing colder by the minute. You could have reached it...maybe. You didn't want to try. It wouldn't have been kind to your tongue.
Just as you sighed, the man behind the microphone yelled, "...And that's Tamaki Amajiki of Class 3-A! It seems he's...falling back? He was a favourite to win, this year. Maybe the pressure is catching up with him?"
Tamaki...Amajiki...
It was far from a familiar name, and as the painful years had dulled your eyes, which once sparkled with passion and curiosity, you were slow to notice...perhaps even hesitant. But when you did...it felt as though the hourglass-sand had frozen mid-drain. The rhythm of your heart gradually became more and more erratic, until you keeled over, clutching your chest. It was...fear, maybe? Disbelief? The memories of your time together, and of the time separated by a torturous death...everything crowded your mind in an instant. You stayed a woman of your word, never once forgetting him. But now...all the good, all the bad...they merged, and...you weren't sure how you were supposed to feel. How were you meant to react? This boy...this UA student, an aspiring hero...was he truly...?
Since when had the doctrine of reincarnation been anything but speculative...a concept created by religion, by people like you...people who just couldn't let go...?
But...your eyes certainly weren't deceptive. In all his elven glory, this boy...he was (M/n). Right...? He had to be! The similarities...they were uncanny. Those pointed ears, the ones you used to delight in teasing with both finger and tongue...the way he worried, about himself and others (this was shown as he helped another student during the obstacle race)...
Obviously, you didn't recognise the whole - just parts. But...once you calmed enough to judge with rationality, you were certain. Tamaki Amajiki...he was (M/n). It could hardly be explained - the fierce connection you felt, even through the screen. The devotion that still ignited your heart...and eventually, the joyful tears that spilled forth from your eyes. You never, ever expected this. It was...unheard of, surely? Still, it was reality - your reality. In that moment, you desired simply to break down the door of that arena and snatch up your beloved. You wanted to talk, you wanted to scream, to cry, to hug and kiss him...
He...he probably wouldn't appreciate a stranger doing such things, however. As a reincarnation, not the original...a copy, who looked similar, but not identical...he wouldn't have his former memories. He wouldn't know you. He might not experience that spark, the overwhelming confusion, the happiness...
And, what if he had...already found someone? Someone to cherish, to love and support? Someone whose curse wasn't perennial life? That would definitely be the final nail in the coffin. If he was spoken for, or you met and he felt nothing besides discomfort...then, and only then, would you give up. For this boy - he was Tamaki now, not (M/n) - you were willing to risk it all.
Finally, finally...you would accept (M/n)'s untimely fate. Tamaki was yours, he was (M/n) - you acknowledged this, with all your heart. But...he was allowed to be himself. Just...Tamaki. He was the same, yet completely different.
Well...perhaps your long-lost love wasn't quite so lost, after all.
[Word Count: 1240]
#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia imagines#tamaki amajiki x reader#bnha tamaki#mha tamaki amajiki#suneater x reader#trigger warnings#boku no hero academia#newly-christened pro hero bby
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Is hawks eye canonically seen as creepy/off putting. I see it a lot in ff and I’m 👁👁
Hmmm, how to explain this.
Imagine if someone just looked at you without blinking. Gaze intense and not moving except to watch every little moverment you do. You twitch your hand and those eyes follow, you gulp and those eyes look at your neck as they do.
It’s already creepy for a regular person to do.
So now imagine if that person had bird traits and so they could watch you for longer and spot every little movement you made like a predator. He would be unblinking as his eyes latched onto you and you couldn’t make any sudden movements without the fearing waking something up inside the predator. You’ve seen how fast he is too, he could latch onto you before you could even blink. You can’t even twitch in fear it will set him off. You’re just stood there, looking into the unblinking eyes of a bird of prey, unsure about whether you’re the prey they’re after.
(Hawks has pretty eyes but he has a very intense gaze, much like birds from his namesake. People staring already makes you uncomfortable but due to his more animal-like traits, it makes it more intense. Also there’s the fact his job is to stop villains so that would also make you nervous thinking that a hero suspects you to be a criminal)
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Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader
Buy me a coffee!! <3
Trigger Warnings: Mentions of possible Self-Harm/Suicidal Ideation, Mentions of Bullying, Depression.
----
The echoes of words that, since their conception, carved up your heart without reason or care, still plagued you. The angel by your side wasn't privy to your unpleasant truths - the history etched in to your skin, bygone times littered with bullying and self-disgust. The latter hadn't disappeared like everyone said it would. If they dragged that lie from their own experiences, they shouldn't have been surprised when you became angry, and weak from 'night studies'.
Hitoshi worried half to death, and crafted his words accordingly. He couldn't bear to imagine his company brought you so much discomfort that you refused to let him help - or even just listen. He wanted to understand why pain seemed to dull your eyes, why you isolated like you did...why you declined to let him in, even after months of a strong friendship. He loved that you saw the person past the quirk, he loved the gentle tone in which you called his name. He had hoped that, with the dormitory situation (and your rooms being on the same floor), you would feel more secure and perhaps encouraged to seek help. If you reached out to him...
...Please reach out to him! He had grappled with depression, with that empty, hopeless feeling. He knew it all too well. But his battle had been fought, and he had the skills necessary to aid yours. He could rescue you, but the hard labour was your personal burden. It was horrible. What kind of aspiring hero was as useless as he? It was true. You couldn't win on your own, but he couldn't win it for you.
Gods...he wanted to! He wanted to do everything, just for you!
It was impossible...unless you opened up your heart. He respected your space, but his unrelenting love threatened to crush those invisible barriers. It felt as though you were slipping, like there was a reason more sinister than he had anticipated, as to why you didn't want any help. He grew nervous, eventually deciding that the possibility of you endangering yourself was enough cause to demand entry into your room. Once inside, he could talk about his concerns and lend you an ear. He could also check for anything...sharp. He never wished to offend you or come off as condescending (like a lot of therapists did), but he was desperate. He worshipped you as some beautiful, divine entity - if your anguish managed to conquer the last semblance of hope that still burned...well, how could he live with himself?
How could he live with the knowledge that he hadn't ever told you your worth? If you were reclaimed by nature, whilst believing that you meant nothing...that he didn't completely adore you...
No - he just...he couldn't allow that.
Maybe it was an overreaction. Maybe you wouldn't be so reckless. But he wasn't about to risk that. You wouldn't be foolish. You wouldn't be selfish. This didn't involve anyone else - not even him. But you couldn't keep suffering. Humans could only endure so much.
The mentally ill - for as much as they rebuffed it - were powerful warriors. Each day issued forth a new challenge. Some gave up. Some kept fighting. Some battles were lost, and others were won. These people were incredible - deserving of eternal love and happiness. Hitoshi hoped to give you both. But first, he needed a better grasp on your situation. Voice everything to him! Every tiny thing, no matter its insignificance! He was offering you a chance, a way to stave off the negativity, just for a while. Would you accept it? Or would his intrusion signal the end of your friendship...of a possible, future romance?
He approached with caution...and a full plate of food. Immediately after the school day concluded, you had retreated to your room. He asked around, but nobody could attest to having seen you emerge. Therefore, you hadn't eaten yet. He knew you wouldn't deny yourself and isolate to such an extent - was it a silent cry for help, and...were you even aware of it? Were you holding out for a hero? Despite his allocation to General Studies, his aspirations had only flourished. He could save you from the depths of this depression! He could become your hero...
...if you let him.
A sigh tumbled from his lips, as he knocked on your door. To be honest, he wasn't expecting a response.
"(L/n)...It's Shinsou. I thought you might be hungry? And, uh...I was hoping to talk to you. Maybe..."
A muffled "Go away" could be heard from within, but, being so weak, it couldn't deter him.
He coughed awkwardly, placing a palm against your door. "Please let me in. Please let me help."
There was hurried shuffling, and the sound of you falling over something. It almost made him chuckle. Then, the door opened. You peeked from behind it, eyes narrowed and with a sickly complexion. You scrutinised him for a moment, without words. Next, you looked to the food.
And you let him in. You actually let him in! Relief washed over his heart, but the pain still stabbed through. You were clearly hurting, clutching the hem of your shirt and trying desperately not to wince. He saw it all. He set the plate down, but you didn't move toward it. Maybe you would eat after he left? Well, he wasn't about to force-feed you, so...as long as you did...
"How can I help?" He asked, taking a seat opposite you.
"I don't...I don't think you can..." You started, diverting your attention away from him and his charity.
Unluckily for you, he was determined, and nowhere near satisfied with your half-arsed answer. It had obviously been impromptu, but his questions symbolised an outpouring of emotion from deep within his soul. That was your worth - how much he yearned for every part of you. He knew his lines. They were engraved upon his heart, like wedding vows. He could recite them with ease...but they were far from easy.
"Look at me." He loathed using his quirk on you, but this was important.
The Fates would forgive him...hopefully.
After a minute, he relinquished control. "Please talk to me. I can give advice, or I can just listen. I'll do whatever you need. Just...let me know."
Let me know everything.
Wiping a stray tear from your eye, you relented. "Okay...but please - please don't laugh."
"I won't. You have my word."
You are my world.
"I...I was bullied, in middle school. And...it sometimes happens now, but just...not so often." Your throat felt parched. "It was because of my quirk. They said I didn't have the capacity to do good, and that I would always be evil. They didn't want to turn me to villainy - they wanted me to die. It was so hard, just trying to survive every single day, getting pushed around and tormented...made to feel inferior, like I didn't even matter."
Hitoshi remained silent, eyes blown wide in shock and disgust.
"You know my quirk, right? 'Bone Manipulation'? I hate it. I've hurt people I should never have hurt. I've ruined friendships - probably lives, too. And...and...I can't always control it! When I'm angry...sometimes it just happens...and I can't - I can't stop it!"
You were panicking, rocking back and forth while holding your head. The really frightening parts of your tale were still a mystery. You would reveal them, in due time. But right now...you needed Hitoshi's warm embrace.
Cradled in his arms, you could forget the whole world.
[Word Count: 1256]
#hitoshi shinsou x reader#bnha shinsou#bnha#my hero academia imagines#my hero academia x reader#trigger warnings#angst#cute shinsou is cute#mha shinsou
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