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mermazing-art · 1 month

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The real name of the Furious Five

After the Kung Fu Panda 4 movie I started thinking about what Zhen's first conversations with the Furious Five would be like. I imagined her nervous about making a good impression but fitting quite well with her group dynamic given her mischievous attitude and enjoying their adventures with her, establishing a relationship of trust. Which led me to a thought "Would she, wanting to know them more, ask them what their real names are?"

This theory has been circulating in the fandom for years since it is said that their names actually refer to their fighting styles or their species (as well as Master Ox, Crocodile or Rhino) since those who retain their own name within this discipline are those who have a superior role such as Oogway, Shifu or Po and those who do not have a title such as Zhen or Tai Lung.

Well, I decided to look for a suitable name for each one, one that fit their physique or personality, that was easy to remember and that would distinguish one another, let's go!

Mantis: Xun Yu ( fast jade )

With Mantis I was clear that I didn't want to look for anything that had to do with his size but I did want to highlight his most powerful abilities such as his speed. That's where his first name, Xun, comes from. His middle name, Yu (Jade), is because of his green color although this can also mean ''insect'' depending on the kanji with which it is written. My idea is that Mantis calls himself ''the green lightning'' referring to his real name.

Crane: Zimo ( refined ink )

At first I wanted his name to be related to the sky or the air due to his avian species or his techniques, but it made me think that one of the things that catches my attention about this character is his interest in Chinese calligraphy. Therefore, I decided to name him Zimo (ink or writing) to reflect his beloved hobby in his name.

Monkey: Wong Sang ( yellow mulberry )

For Monkey, I researched his voice actor, the one and only Jackie Chan, born Chan Kong-Sang. I wanted to take it as a reference by changing the name Kong since it is the name of the Monkey's brother to Wong (yellow), relating it to the color of his fur. I wanted to make a reference to his comic side but I couldn't find a suitable name for the guidelines I had assigned to it.

Viper: Jia Ling ( beautiful tinkle )

As with Monkey, I researched on her voice actress, Lucy Liu, whose full name is Lucy Alexis Liu Yu Ling. I wanted to reflect her charming and sweet personality, so I took the name Ling (tinkerbell) as a reference of the hiss' snake she produces, as well as her happy attitude. But her first name would be Jia to emphasize the beauty of this character.

Tigress: Xia ( sunrise )

For her, I thought I would delve deeper into her story and her development as a character in order to give her the appropriate name. This is her story:

When Tigress lived in the orphanage, she received the name Xian ("who lives in seclusion") from the other children perpetuating their contempt and fear of her. When Shifu finally decided to adopt her, after He heard that name many times, almost always accompanied by the word "monster", he asked her what new name she would like. She simply accepted Tigress because she didn't believe she could deserve a name. Shifu pondered and decided to call him Xia. Tigress at first didn't like this idea because it sounded similar to the previous one, but Shifu explained his choice to her. Both names, although similar, did not have the same meaning because now she would no longer be in the darkness, secluded and alone, but rather she had the opportunity for a new life, a path marked by the light that emanated from her, a new sunrise.

So yes, Zhen would ask the furious five their names, giving the situation that Po would find out right then and there about this. Everyone except Tigress would answer this question since for her it is still a very personal matter related to her past and Shifu and she still doesn't feel comfortable sharing it with everyone. Could Tigress talk to a certain panda about this?

#dreamworks #kung fu panda #kung fu panda 4 #kfp #kfp 4 #kfp tipo #kfp po #furious five #kfp tigress #master tigress #master mantis #master crane #master monkey #master viper

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gaykarstaagforever · 10 months

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FREE ON YOUTUBE

...YouTube, I feel like your free animated movie recommendations have declined in quality a bit since the halcyon days of Osmosis Jones.

Yes, it is a blatant Kung Fu Panda knockoff, with an American voice cast that is clearly whoever was home at 11 am the week they called.

This is bad. Like, unfinished, I think I'm missing like half the movie, they forgot to resolve the main plot and it just stops, bad. There is a scene where the only character on screen suffers an animation error, and no one fixed it. The framerate of the movie drops every time the action picks up or the camera swings around too fast. Like...you made a computer-animated movie, and you don't have the hardware or time to do...you know...computer animation? The stones on the Chinese producers of this mess.

Not everything has to be Pixar or DreamWorks. CG is hard. I get it. But you gotta work to your strengths. In this case, the computers you are using can't even render the movie properly. Like...I don't know how you get around that. That's kind of a major issue.

Technical incompetence aside, this suffers from the usual bad CG animation problems of every character looking like they come from a different artistic universe, and most of the action is generic mocaping that doesn't take into account how any real bodies shaped like these bodies would move. And there are just things they didn't bother capturing. Like none of these dough monsters ever stands up on screen.

Shot composition is a disaster. Most scenes are a mob of creatures standing in a pack in an empty space, doing exaggerated facial reactions to someone else talking. It's like bad machinima made in the Skylanders games engine, except all of the character designs are way worse.

The plot, such as they attempted it, is supposed to be about a small, incompetent warrior who looks like Jackie Chan who gets transported to the mystical realm of Merryland by a magical jade necklace his grandfather gave him. There, he transforms into an anthropomorphic panda, for reasons that are never explained. There is a prophecy that a Panda Warrior is destined to save the realm, and our guy is apparently it, except there is a flashback to like a couple of years ago when the ultimate evil took over, and...there is ANOTHER Panda Warrior who was just there and sort of stopped it? But then didn't? Who the hell was that guy?!

Also the ultimate evil is one of the two sky-whales who guard the Dragon Ball (yes, literally) just turning evil because it absorbed too much power. Why did this happen? How are you going to stop it from happening again? Then that whale turns into a nine-headed snake after an evil mouse from the real world just...is there, and merges with the Whale. After the snake is defeated the mouse just crawls out of it and runs away, and no one says a damn thing.

Our panda warrior and his 7 legendary warrior friends kung fu fight the snake at least 3 different times, and never get close to stopping it. And the panda doesn't do anything special or lead them, he is just there, and then at the very end his necklace glows and that...helps? Somehow? The true hero here is, and I'm not joking, Jimmy Ginseng, a tiny ginseng man with an erhu who shows up whenever the warriors are losing, plays the erhu, the enemy gets soothed by the song, and then Jimmy gets tired and leaves. EVERY BATTLE ends like this, including the final one.

So...?

The panda has that cool green sword in the picture. And he does have it. It is just...a sword, thst someone randomly gives him. I think he ends up dropping it and it never comes up again.

Also all the warriors are animals, except for the one who is a talking tree stump...filled with lava. And he dies at the end by setting himself and the snake on fire. Because his master, a purple fox, told him to do that to save everyone. ...Except the SNAKE SURVIVED IT, and they had to fight it again, lose, and wait for Jimmy to show up.

The bull character also sacrifices himself, TWICE, to save everyone else, and both times that doesn't work, either.

The movie ends with Merryland being restored from the devastation of the snake...BEFORE the snake is defeated. It just...gets better, after they resuce an elf girl princess who does...something...? And then the regrown flowers shoot the snake with missiles of some kind. Which ALSO fails to defeat it.

The panda doesn't go home and become human again and nothing is explained. But during the credits there is a fight scene between the little human warrior and his general, in which they get drunk and wrestle and tons of fight animations repeat in a loop for 3 minutes. Is this part of the movie? Are these outtakes? What does this have to do with anything? If this is what happens after he got home, I don't know why or what it means.

...My guess is that the first panda warrior we see was supposed to be his grandfather, as a panda? That was probably the idea? But no one ever says that. The movie doesn't remember to explain that.

This was translated from Chinese. Perhaps the translation is terrible. Or they did a massive reedit of this for the US release. That could explain some of this. ...But then why didn't they cut out the glitch scene, or some of the shots with the bad framerate? There are literal 10 second sequences in this movie where there is no dialogue or music, just a camera sleeping over a scenery to ambient nature sounds. Who reedits a movie for the foreign market and cuts out vital plot scenes, but leaves in shit like that?

...Unless all those vital plot scenes had even worse technical problems. Jesus. That's a terrifying thought.

One positive here. While nearly all of the voice work is as boring and bored as you'd expect, the immortal Tom Kenny is good, with what very little he is given to do, here. The man is a professional.

And here is the weirdest thing: Rob Schneider is really good here as the panda man and Jimmy Ginseng. Like, shockingly good. Like, this is without exaggeration the best performances of this man's miserable life. He is funny, charming, nuanced, he feels like he is reacting properly during what were probably one-sided conversations recorded on different days in different places. It is shocking how good he is in this awful, stupid movie. My only guess is that he was somehow involved in bringing this over and it was going to serve as an audition piece to get him more voice work. In which case, like, fair enough, dude. You nailed it. He is genuinely very good in this very bad movie.

What an odd artifact from 2012. What a waste of time. Why did YouTube recommend this? What do any of us gain from being shown this? I am just flabbergasted.

You're on time out with these movie suggestions, Google.

Also there is a pig who flies who looks like this:

Those aren't ears, they are just gross misshapen tendrils that bob around as she moves. It's like someone was playing with a stretch tool and then...stopped.

I was gonna end with "Now let's have Jimmy Ginseng play us out," but I can only find this one bad picture of him, and it doesn't show his erhu:

Here is some nice erhu music from someone else. Something redeeming in this godforsaken post:

youtube

#the adventures of panda warrior #the adventures of jinbao #kung fu panda ko #2012 #movie review #free on YouTube

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katanadepapel · 9 months

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Voice actors 🇺🇲 and 🇧🇷 of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

💙LEONARDO💙

TMNT (1987)

🇺🇲Cam Clarke

🇧🇷Manolo Rey

TMNT (2003)

🇺🇲Mike Sinterniklaas

🇧🇷Mauro Eduardo Lima

TMNT (2012)

🇺🇲Jason Biggs

(1°voice)

Dominic Catrambone

(2°voice)

Seth Green

(3°voice)

🇧🇷Antônio Akira

(1° voz)

Bruno Camargo

(2°voz)

ROTTMNT (2018/2022)

🇺🇲Ben Schwartz

🇧🇷Fabrício Rinaldi

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM (2023)

🇺🇲Nicolas Cantu

🇧🇷Rodrigo Ribeiro

💙

♥️ RAPHAEL♥️

TMNT (1987)

🇺🇲Rob Paulsen

(1°voice)

Thom Pinto

(2°voice)

Hal Rayle

(3°voice)

🇧🇷Marco Ribeiro

(1°voz)

Duda Ribeiro

(2°voz)

TMNT (2003)

🇺🇲Frank Frankson

🇧🇷Renato Soares

(1°voz)

Wendell Bezerra

(2°voz)

TMNT (2012)

🇺🇲Sean Astin

🇧🇷Hermes Baroli

(1°voz)

Felipe Zilse

(2°voz)

ROTTMNT (2018/2022)

🇺🇲Omar Benson Miller

🇧🇷Glauco Marques

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM (2023)

🇺🇲Brady Noon

🇧🇷Victor Hugo Fernandes

♥️

💜 DONATELLO💜

TMNT (1987)

🇺🇲Barry Gordon

(1° voice)

Greg Berg

(2°voice)

🇧🇷Márcio Simões

TMNT (2003)

🇺🇲Sam Riegel

🇧🇷Márcio Araújo

TMNT (2012)

🇺🇲Rob Paulsen

🇧🇷 Wendell Bezerra

ROTTMNT (2018/2022)

🇺🇲Josh Brener

🇧🇷Marco Aurélio Campos

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM (2023)

🇺🇲Micah Abbey

🇧🇷Arthur Carneiro

💜

🧡MICHELANGELO🧡

TMNT (1987)

🇺🇲Townsend Coleman

🇧🇷Marcelo Meirelles

(1° voz)

Mário Jorge Andrade

(2° voz)

TMNT (2003)

🇺🇲Wayne Grayson

🇧🇷Yuri Chesman

TMNT (2012)

🇺🇲Greg Cipes

🇧🇷Daniel Figueira

ROTTMNT (2018/2022)

🇺🇲Brandon Mychal Smith

🇧🇷Caio Guarnieri

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM (2023)

🇺🇲Shamon Brown Jr.

🇧🇷Enzo Dannemann

🧡

💛APRIL O'NEIL 💛

TMNT (1987)

🇺🇲Renae Jacobs

🇧🇷Dolores Machado

TMNT (2003)

🇺🇲Veronica Taylor

🇧🇷Márcia Regina

TMNT (2012)

🇺🇲Mae Whitman

🇧🇷Tatiane Keplmair

(1°voz)

Fernanda Bullara

(2°voz)

ROTMNT (2018/2022)

🇺🇲Kat Graham

🇧🇷Maíra Paris

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM (2023)

🇺🇲Ayo Edebiri

🇧🇷Any Gabrielly

💛

🤎 SPLINTER 🤎

TMNT 1987

🇺🇲Peter Renaday

(1°voice)

Townsend Coleman

(2°voice)

🇧🇷Dario Lourenço

(1°voz)

Miguel Rosenberg (2°voz)

Orlando Drummond

(3°voz)

TMNT (2003)

🇺🇲Darren Dunstan

🇧🇷Válter Santos

(1°voz)

Renato Márcio

(2°voz)

TMNT (2012)

🇺🇲 Hoon Lee

🇧🇷Nestor Chiesse

ROTTMNT (2018/2022)

🇺🇲Eric Bauza

🇧🇷Raul Rosa

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM

(2023)

🇺🇲Jackie Chan

🇧🇷Tatá Guarnieri

🤎

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moorheadthanyoucanhandle · 10 months

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GREEN NEW DEAL

Opening in theaters today:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem--This new animated feature version of the adolescent DNA-altered martial-arts-practicing chelonians is about mayhem that arises due to mutants. In case the title doesn't make it clear.

The quartet, all named for some reason after Italian Old Masters, dwell in the sewers of New York under the strict protective care of their teacher and adoptive parent, the mutant rat Splinter (voiced by Jackie Chan), but long to go to high school, maybe have girlfriends. On one of their sorties into the city, they meet high schooler April O'Niel (Ayo Edebiri), who's an aspiring journalist. They also run afoul of an evil scientist (Maya Rudolph) as well as a gang of other mutant animals led by the monstrous Superfly (Ice Cube).

It's a striking movie to look at. The visuals have a garish, roughed-out, graffiti-esque look, and the animation has a stylized hint of stop-motion in the Rankin-Bass manner. Among the writers are Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen; Rogen also provides the voice of the mutant warthog Bebop. The trailer and poster say the movie is "FROM PERMANENT TEENAGER SETH ROGEN."

The jabbery, overlapping dialogue is ticklingly funny, and I appreciated the characterization of the young April, who in the earlier movies has seemingly served as eye candy for the dads in the audience, as a smart and brave but unconfident kid with a typical body shape. As with earlier entries in the series, the film is packed with product placement, to the point that it becomes part of the comedy.

The Turtles made their debut in 1983, too late to be part of my childhood; my nephews were fans. I remember finding the '90s-era live-action TMNT movies annoying, but I found the live-action features of 2014 and 2016 surprisingly fun, even without a nostalgic attachment. Mutant Mayhem, however, may be the best-looking and funniest of them all.

As is so often the case in movies for kids, the ultimate goal that our heroes are seeking is, of course, acceptance, popularity, or simply "to be normal." This persistent theme can be tiresome, but undoubtedly it does reflect a common wish among this film's target audience. Permanent Teenager Rogen and his collaborators know their business.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles mutant mayhem #ayo edebiri #seth rogen #evan goldberg #jackie chan #maya rudolph #ice cube #paul rudd #hannibal buress #tmnt

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kevingotabigasschin · 2 years

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Bruh, just saw a lot of Dino Squad content pop up on my feed and I’m gonna say right now that I only remembered the show because of this guy. Everyone else I wouldn’t be able to tell you who they were without having a picture shown to me.

Kind of ironic, for some reason I hated this guy so much when I was a kid, I guess it’s because I thought he was an asshole even though he’s the only one I immediately recognize and remembered his name.

Now, I kinda like Victor, I love how his motivation for being a villain is “I want to turn people into dinosaurs just because” so vague of a reason but so chaotic at the same time.

He also gives me vibes of Valmont from Jackie Chan Adventures for some reason, probably because him and Valmont both wear suits, are rich bitches and are usually distinct by one color on their palette (Victor’s is red, Valmont is green)

Although I could’ve sworn Victor had a stronger British accent when I was younger, just rewatched a few eps and I f**king hate the voice they gave him. That’s the only thing I don’t like about him though.

Literally everyone else is so bland to me upon rewatch, Fiona is the token girl, Rodger is the stereotypical nerdy smart guy (although I do like the fact that he’s strong and smart which isn’t something that gets shown anymore) Max is just your average joe (I don’t even know why he’s there), Caruso I want to punch in the face, my f**king god he was annoying (which is a good sign meaning he’s got some personality but not a good one I’m afraid) and Buzz is literally the only one that I like out of the main 5, I’m glad they didn’t make him stupid just because he’s the stereotypical punk (and he’s definitely not straight, I feel like him and Pickles from Metalocalypse would get along well) and they definitely nailed his voice, it’s so melo in tone but so lovely on the ears rather than Caruso’s ear grating, deafening voice.

All in all, I find the s**t that went on with the main 5 most of the time was boring.

I was more interested in seeing Victor and I’m glad there’s a whole video on YouTube just about Victor because I cannot sit through a bunch of eps with the main 5′s stupid shenanigans.

And the transformation sequences, my f**king god I wanna die. The theme slaps though.

I’M IN, I’M IN, I’M IN, IN THE DINO SQUAD!

#dino squad #my dumbass #my stupid opinion #I'm slowly becoming a simp for Victor help

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wow-its-me · 1 year

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I know I said I was gonna talk about the trailer but I’m actually more interested in the casing thing from twitter so, here we go (it’s a lean green ninja team)

Starting with the family

Pretty cool, not much to say other than I think he voices Gumball

I’m obsessed with the pizza font, (again I’ve heard a lot of rumors about him being in this so, not surprising)

cool

Again I freaking love all of the fonts and how they compare to each other and represent each character

FREAKING JACKIE CHAN?? The man the myth the legend, oh my god, perfection

April!!!!! I had never heard of Ayo Edebiri, but after a quick google search I’ve come to the conclusion that she seems cool. I like the design of her name, it really gives off a punk vibe, which I really appreciate for this character. Also I found that Ayo is 27, sense they’ve been talking a lot about the casting teenagers as teenagers thing, my guess is that she will be in college. Also also I wish that the trailer showed her final design (also3 I dont think those leaked story boards are real)

#tmnt #tmnt mutant mayhem #tmnt mm #tmnt 23 #Mutant Mayhem

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nayru-s-clay-tablet · 2 years

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I been really trying hard to figure out what young Sidon should be voice. He's really a big fan to link but can seem to get himself into trouble. I was thinking Jaden from Jackie Chan adventures, gumball watterson on gumball, young Ben Tennyson on Ben 10, or Cricket from big city greens. Who's your head cannon voice for young Sidon?

Oooh that is a great question! Hmm I'm not sure who my canon voice is -- it's hard to find a real human being whose voice is both a nice cute little boy's voice and as loud as I hear Sidon's voice in my head.

But Gumball's voice is super close! :D

I know it'll be a while, but I'm looking forward to hearing him in the dub! <3

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animalansaveagethefittest · 1 year

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Much respect to you for this YB. Would love to convince you to go vegan Can train you in basketball and fitness in Vegas, can speak foreign languages Wanna get more exotic animals to share with the world AnimALan Handles the Animal Trainer Polyglot Vegan with Sick Handles and Endless Fitness like Jackie Chan and Jesus Bruce Lee Christ. Not double jointed with dis joint Ted but i do have two joints that are pointy and anointed to be adjoined to our heads to be lead light like and grabbed like graphite and not heavy when we heave the weed to the heavens from the avenues he havens to be on as it happens I’m rapping steadily for smiles and I’m having smiles at Smile Heaven while I smile for a while at a raven with the style I’m craving in the best Western where Mr. Wes is Craven to be saving ravens in Baltimore. I’m from Baltimore and I now ball more than ever before because I’m simply salted like Teddy Pen 🖊️ d her grass at how CORNi ville it is Kernel to be sanding them like Bernie so in this speech Reden take it Bach er to the basics like ASICS and eat green every plate Chicks. We all come from eggs, don’t we? Are we not all chicks? Are we not all green primate benevolent herbivore gods? Power to the people. Power to the humans. Human Lives Matter. Longevity Matters. HERBIVORE MATTERS. I am Alan ForRest Smith aka AnimALan Babyface ForRest SaveAGE WordSmith The Vegan Voice in Vegas. Call me what you will :) Wordy loves you all 🦜 when you’re vegan 🌱 🥑 🥗 😉 🏆 Rap without violence! @captainwrapper Handles for daze! @professirhandles (at Las Vegas, Nevada) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoLOepKv8cZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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mmorgmonster · 2 years

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freelancertamal32 · 2 years

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stewblog · 3 years

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Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings more or less immediately became one of my favorite movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Some of this is due to it being one of the best American-made martial arts movies I’ve ever seen. Some of this is due to it delivering some incredibly cool moments and imagery, the likes of which we haven’t really seen much of in the MCU, much less in American filmmaking in general these days. But it’s due also in large part to the fact that the movie is consistently fun, funny, brimming with exhilarating action scenes and moves like a rocket. It’s just a genuinely great time at the movies and I found myself grinning from ear to ear for most of its (just over) two hour runtime. There are more than 20 MCU movies, and while I highly enjoy most of them, it definitely felt like it was time for Marvel to deliver something different than yet another costumed superhero outing. And that’s precisely what’s been done here with Shang-Chi giving audiences a straight-up kung fu adventure film.

In a way, the excellence of Shang-Chi as an action movie is bittersweet. The action scenes were designed and shot by Brad Allan, a brilliant martial artist who spent years as a member of Jackie Chan’s personal stunt team. He had truly come into his own as an action designer and choreographer but met an untimely death about a month before this film’s release. What he delivered here alongside director Destin Daniel Cretton is some of the most impressive hand-to-hand action I’ve seen in an American action film.

Marvel movies have had plenty of exciting and fun action scenes but, as is the case with so many Western films, the performers simply lack the training and capability to convincingly pull off what is shown off with aplomb in many Asian films. That is absolutely not the case here thanks to the exceptional skill shown off by the likes of Simu Liu, Tony Leung, Michelle Yeoh and nearly every other actor who throws hands (and feet). Allan may be gone, but he left a heck of a legacy on-screen here and it is absolutely exhilarating to watch. Capable, highly trained actors being filmed in wide shots without an excess of editing to cover up their inadequacies makes for exciting cinema. Who knew?!

Though it is brimming with excellent action, the heart of Shang-Chi is actually found in the familial drama driving the plot. Shaun (Liu) is a fairly typical 20-something in San Francisco. He’s mostly content to work his day job as a parking valet with his best friend, Katy (Awkwafina) before spending their nights carousing and doing karaoke. But after Shaun kicks the living tar out of a group of henchmen, including a guy with a literal sword for an arm, on a bus, Katy demands to know who her lifelong friend actually is. Turns out his real name is Shang-Chi and he’s actually the son of a history-defining warlord who’s been alive for thousands of years thanks to ten powerful, magical (possibly alien) rings who trained Shaun since childhood to be an assassin. Ya know, normal stuff.

Shang-Chi’s dad, Wenwu (Leung), thinks he’s found a way to enter the mystical, ancient city his wife hailed from. Though she died more than a decade ago, Wenwu is certain he’s heard her voice calling to him to set her free from captivity. Though he’s willing to fight and kill to do so, Wenwu mostly just wants to reunite his family, and he especially wants his son to take up the mantle of leading the Ten Rings, his millennia-old crime organization.

Shang-Chi is, as expected, not too hip to his abusive father’s plans, but there still clearly resides in him a desire to be loved and accepted by Wenwu. It’s that push and pull between the light and dark within him that drives Shang-Chi’s emotional journey as he slowly comes to realize he can’t ever fully run from or hide his lineage, try as he might.

Liu has been acting for the better part of a decade (I really need to check out Kim’s Convenience) but this is without question his breakout performance and he handles leading man duties well. He’s handsome and funny, and though his charisma is somewhat low-key, he’s able to project enough stoic gravitas that you can always get a sense of what he’s feeling. If nothing else, he’s primed for a string of action roles based on how superbly he pulls off each fight scene. It’s always thrilling to watch a performer pull off their own stunts and fight moves, but Liu brings a very visible energy to his combat.

The real treat here, though, is watching Tony Leung make his Big Hollywood Debut. Leung is one of China’s biggest movie stars and he’s given more than enough incredible performances in truly amazing films to cement his status as one of the all-time great actors. But there’s something uniquely fun seeing him not just let loose in a big budget blockbuster, but to do so and not water down his trademark intensity. Leung’s greatest skill has always been his ability to communicate so much with just his eyes, and that intensity and passion is on full display here. Whatever shortcomings the script might have barely matter because Leung tells you everything you need to know about Wenwu with just a look.

If there’s a major shortcoming here it’s that there are elements of the script that feel notably undercooked. In particular there’s a moment before the big finale where Shang-Chi is brooding over his father’s treatment of him as a child, questioning whether or not he’s still just the assassin he was raised to be. It feels like something from a different version of the script where that self-doubt played a much larger part than what made it to screen.

And, as seems contractually obligated in these movies, the climax culminates with a lot of Typical CGI Nonsense. Though at least here that Typical CGI Nonsense is delivering a look at some mythical beasties and imagery that we don’t often get in these sorts of movies.

None of those frustrating elements (not even the often horribly glaring use of green screen composite shots) detracts enough from the experience to make this anything less than a total blast to watch. I’ve come to accept that most Marvel movies are simply going to have frustrating or undercooked elements to them in one way or another. But even grading on that curve, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings still manages to feel like a complete, thrilling package, one that I can’t wait to watch again.

Author’s Note: If you walk out of Shang-Chi jonesing for some more Tony Leung, check out The Grandmaster if you want more of him doing kung fu. Watch In the Mood for Love if you want one of his best, most internalized acting performances. And watch Hard Boiled if you want to see him co-star in one of the greatest, most over-the-top action movies ever made.

#shang chi #shang-chi #marvel #simu liu #tony leung #tony leung chiu wai #michelle yeoh

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starfanatic · 3 years

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I submit to you a Green Lantern Cartoon featuring Matt Lanter (the Clone Wars voice of Anakin) as Hal Jordan, that's basically about the GL corps as a whole, living their lives, interacting with each other, fighting injustice and animated by Jeff Matsuda (Jackie Chan Adventures & the Batman). What do you think?

I will watch the absolute SHIT out of that (excuse my language). I always felt like Anakin and Hal had a lot of similarities. (I watched a scene from the Green Lantern: Animated Series where Hal punched the person he was supposed to be peacefully negotiating with and I immediately thought of Anakin).

I would love if it first starts with Hal and John and start introducing more GLs over time, or maybe all at once I truly don’t mind. Sinestro being done correctly? Sign me the fuck up!

I truly feel like if this tv show came out, Green Lantern can gain back way more popularity and satisfy the Green Lantern fans who are BEGGING for more Hal, Kyle, John, Jessica, Simon, etc.

#Hal jordan #Kyle Rayner #john stewart #Simon Biaz #jessica cruz #Green Lantern #green lantern corps

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emiken-070907 · 3 years

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A Different Kind Of Story - Some Tea And Chess

Now that everyone had gathered in the Ramshackle dorm and have met the unexpected guest, Yuko, she decided that it would be time to fulfil her promise; Showing her world to the others.

A Different Kind of Story: Chapter 2

The mirror started to glow again, the figure of the female disappeared. Instead of Yuko, the Main Street of NRC with the statues of the Great Seven. Along the path walked Yuko with a gremlin following her.

"Yukoooo~ It's Saturday! Why do we have to go Heartslabyul~? " The cat-like monster asked, mostly complained, in an annoyed voice while climbing on the girl's shoulder. "Oh, come now, Grim, cheer up! Rosehearts-senpai was kind enough to prepare a little tea party for us. Only our friends from Heartslabyul and us," they explained to the creature on her shoulder.

An unmotivated 'Nyaaa~' was the only answer she got, though.

They both stepped through the mirror leading to Heartslabyul and headed straight towards the dorm.

"Hello? Why is nobody here?" The Prefect of Ramshackle said out loud as she entered the building. She looked around the twisted floors but saw no one. Abruptly, a giggle echoed through the deformed floor. They quickly looked around, seeing nothing again. In the next moment, she felt two hands on her shoulders and could hear the giggles right next to their ear.

"YOU ACTUALLY CAME!"

Yuko and Grim both froze in place. The one who surprised them had her hair in a high, messy ponytail and had cherry red eyes with a red heart painted on her left.

It took a moment for the Ramshackle students to gain their composure again. Yuko then laughed a bit at her friends 'joke'. "Of course, Ace. First of all, I wanted to come. Second, I don't want my head taken." Yuko joked. The other one, on the other hand, answered completely serious. "Yuko-chi, you know god damn well this could've happened. By the way, don't you mean 'Our'? We aaaaalllll would've lost our heads!" The student gestured dramatically. Yuko just shook her head with a sigh, which got her a happy laugh from their friend.

"No, I mea-"

"I hate to admit it, yet Ace is right, you know?"

A second girl with long, navy hair and a spade on her right eye suddenly appeared behind the Ramshackle dorm leader. Yuko and Grim scream in fear, the scream echoing through the halls of Heartslabyul. Why does everyone here scare them or popped out of nowhere? "Deuce, you dumbass, don't scare us like that!" Grim fussed.

Together, the four of them walked to the dorm lounge.

As they open the door that leads to the lounge, welcoming came from two students. One had leaf green eyes, orange, long hair -with the top portion tied back into a ponytail while the rest hung straight- and a diamond painted under her right eye. The second one had golden eyes, with her green hair was in a side braid, with a clover painted onto her left cheek. It was pretty easy to tell that they were Trey and Cater.

"Yuko-chan! Grim-chan! Rosehearts-san already awaits you two!" The orange-haired schoolgirl cheerfully said and walked over to the first-years while taking her cellphone out. "Say Cheese~," She said and took a selfie with her underclassmen. "Greetings to you too, Cate-senpai. Also to you, Trey-senpai."

A fifth figure joined the talking girls.

A small girl.

She had long, wine red pigtails, those formed two open flowers, along two strands of hair making a heart on top of her head and slate-grey eyes. Her big gown made her look even more petit.---

She looked adorable.

The girls have moved to the dorm lounge to have tea. But the odd thing was they were upside down.

Meaning the table, everything on the table, and the girls themselves were on the ceiling, without falling. As if physics didn't exist.

It was so unexpected that Vil even cut in.

"How is this possible? Even the tea doesn't fall!"

Yuko, unfazed, answered the Pomifiore leader in mere seconds.

"Oh, trust me, I would like to know myself. So I can't really explain it to you. I apologize."

"Yuko-san, not to be rude or anything, but you do know the laws of physics and many more things should prevent occasions like this from happening, right?" Azul tried to explain.

The girl knew that Azul didn't mean it in a mean way. Everyone would question what they were saying.

"Fufufu, of course, I do. When I first saw this, I thought I was mad! It turned out they were the mad ones. But this is a topic for a later time. Let's get back on track," Yuko waved the conversation off. A few complaints came with this decision.

By the time Yuko managed to convince them that they'll find out what she means, later on, the girls themselves finished their tea. "Thank you very much for the invitation, Rosehearts-san. But Grim and I have to go now. I have promised, Kingscholar-senpai a round of chess yesterday."

"It's quite alright Yuko-san, I hope you'll have a pleasant day", the dorm leader of Heartslabyul dismissed the two visitors. Grim and Yuko said their goodbyes to the others and left off to Savannaclaw.

On the way to the second dorm, the boys met another friend of Yuko, Jackie. The beastman (woman?) Already awaited her at the mirror leading to the Savannaclaw dormitory. She looked pretty much exactly like Jack. The only significant change was that her hair was in a low ponytail. The wolf-girl accompanied the two visitors on their way to the dorm leader in an appreciated silence.

Currently, Yuko was in the middle of a chess match against her senior.

Grim laid asleep beside Yuko on the enormous bed of her upperclassman, not caring a bit about the chess game.

And in all honesty, they were only waiting until their opponent fell asleep as well, who already was halfway there.

"C'mon, Leona~ Don't fall asleep yet. You don't want to lose against a magicless first-year, don't cha?" As a response, Leona just grumbled something inaudible and flicked her tail.

The Prefect didn't take the magicless part too hard. They knew Ruggie only said that to rail Leona up.

Yuko silently smiled at themselves at the thought.

"You're head is up in the clouds again, herbivore." She quickly snapped back into reality and placed her figure.

"What the hell are you doing? Did you hit your head or what?"

"What do you mean, Kingscholar-senpai?"

Irritated, the lion motioned towards to playboard.

"This. You play like shit today. You're just lucky that you've always realized when I was able to defend you and stopped me." The only thing the third year got was a laugh.

"You may see it like that, I admit. Still, sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the whole picture in front of you."

Leona said nothing at this and decided to drop the conversation at that.

"Ugh, it pains me sometimes to know that you just leave stuff like that on the ground without fearing that somebody steals it!"

Both turned around to Ruggie holding an emerald bracelet. It was absolutely gorgeous. And expensive.

"Why should I? Nobody dares to enter my chambers, and if I'd find out that you've been stealing from me, I would force you to pay me all of that stuff, and you'd have to find a new job."

Ruggie just rolled her eyes.

"First of; That is the sad part: That you can threaten me by firing me and not pay me. Second; As of you'd care so much. I bet you wouldn't even notice if one of your accessories would disappear. You'd solely buy a new one. Enough money for you to do that is providing."

The two continued to argue as if Yuko wasn't even there.

She also didn't even try to do something against it since they knew it would do nothing.

The argument ended by Leona being annoyed and just telling Ruggie of and bringing her attention back to the chess game.

"Wow, I've been arguing and didn't pay complete attention, yet you still suck," the lion said with a smug smile.

"You only look onto the surface of things, don't you? Ignorance isn't a good look on you. Checkmate," Yuko said as she placed her chess piece back onto the board.

Leona's smug smile fell immediately.

"W-what? How?!"

Yuko only smiled while she explained her strategy.

"In conclusion, you've lost your chance at winning after I've made my first move." The second princess eyed them intensely. The Prefect's smile never more falling during the process.

After a minute of staring, the third-year broke the eye contact, rolled on her side and closed her eyes.

"Tch. Don't you herbivores have some other things to do? If yes, leave. Just make sure to put the board aside, and that quietly, got it?"

Yuko gave a recognition hum before moving off the bed, putting the board aside, taking Grim into their hands and making their way towards the door.

"Oh, before I leave." They turn around to their senior to face her. "I find it quite funny that this is one of your ways to handle failure. Just ignoring it. I may respect you, yes, yet you are a sour loser."

After that, she left without another word.

First

[A/n: Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English is not my first language!]

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hiheyimhuy · 3 years

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Movies/TV Shows

1 Roman Empire -Season 1 -Theme Funny -Golden Age

-Birthdays -Jayden Kouli Spring -Ian Spear Summer -Rex Woodbury Fall -Taylor Phillips Winter

-Jennie Mayer “Type 1” Insults -Arlene Williams “Type 2” Conversation -Tina Fey “Type 3” It’s Not Funny, But It Is Funny -Alison Kang “Type 4” Fighting

-Annie Bucher -Bayley Lichtenberg -Brenna Harrington -Briana Jackson -Carley Wood -Christine Baker -Ellie Hoekman -Emily Dugan -Emily Ross -Heather Bateman -Heather Stams -Jessie Torlai -Kailyn Pennock -Katie Fischbeck -Katie Theisen -Kirsten Brewer -Kristen Kemper -Kylie Barrett -Kyra Pennington -Lexi n Abby Klinkenberg -Meg Mullen -Meressa Mamon -Mia Torlai -Nicole Silver -Rebecca Nixon -Samantha Holler -Tahlia Carchedi 1/2 -Taylor Green 1/2 -Tessa Acay -Zoey Golden 1/2

-Austin From Gardenscapes -Kevin Hill

-Season 2 -Theme Suffering -50 Years After The Golden Age With New Complicated Rulers/King And Government Officials -Nice People -People Who Likes To Play Games -Hard Living -Ancient Technological Society -Consequences -Crimes -Passion of the Christ Roman Guards -Green River Teachers -Guys from Han Tinh Phan Kim Lien -Rating 100% -Jessica Clarke -Kelley Flanagan -Hannah Ann -Lindsey Allemeier -Julia Newell -Annika Brauer -Catherine Berner -Olivia Carlson -Louisa Dunwiddie -Emma Linde -Savannah Billedo -Danielle Brady -Jackie Robinson -Rachel Keyser -Angela Zhang -Megan Williams -Maia Lee -McKay Njos -Tylar Philpott -Vanessa Chukri -Dan Mitchell -Brett Goldstein -Brendan Welzien -Jackson Zariski -Adam Newton -Toro -Richard Ferguson -Jared -Royals Friends -Josh Brueckner -Katie Betzing -Matt Howard -Abby Howard -Charli D’amelio -Addison Rae -“Too Hot To Handle” IGTV video guys -Jacqueline Miller -Eileen Bruns -Johannes Huebl 2/3 -Matty Carrington -Franky Cammarata -Ben K Bowers -Colton Underwood -RJ King 2/3 -Graham Davis -Willem De Koch -Brian Pruett -Gigi Meyer -Henry

-Hailey Napier -Blake Napier -Alex Knutson 2/3 -Elle Petschl -Sam Petschl -Anna Lynch -Ana Rae Miller -Brenna Hudson -Madeline Huletz -Claire Kennedy -Connell O’Brien -Max Tychsen -Dylan Inman -Austin Budke -Cameron Sackett -Elliot Knapp -John Mark Lambert -Colby Franklin -Season 3 -Theme Conquering -Depicts The Fall Of The Roman Empire -Combat Tactics -Strategies -In Places That Trigger Fear -“X Ambassadors - Renegades” Feel -Austin Olson -Chris Torlai -Kevin Hall -Matt Mead -Max Liebl -Nathan Lantz -Nathan Rodland -Oak Griffith -Sean Redmond -Stefan Andonian -Tanner Patnode -Travis McGuire -Wes Concepcion -Ben Affleck -Christian Bale -Tom Cruise -Cavill -Simon Pegg -Sam Quinby -Garrett Yrigoyen -Ben Higgins -Peter Weber -Jack Weber -Chris Harrison -Arie Luyendyk -Jason -Blake -Jared Haibon -Chris Soules -Jordan -David -Joe Sessa -Josh Canova -Graham Bennett -Kevin Park -Aaron Park -Julien Isnardon -Armie Hammer -Maurice Laab -Keegan Selby -Tyler Pichette -Season 4 -In Heaven With Henry And Malcolm

-Season 5 -Reunion Live “Maplestory - Ergoth’s Throne” “Maplestory - Orbis Tower” “Maplestory - Ludi PQ” -“Imagine Dragons - To Exist” 2 -“Imagine Dragons - Darkness Lies Above” 3 -“Imagine Dragons - Fear Is In Your Eyes” 3 -“Imagine Dragons - Only Way Across Is Cold Water” 3 -“Alesso - To Live Without Music” 1 -“Alesso - Watery Feels” 1/2 -“Bastille - What Keeps You Awake At Night” 2 -“Bastille - Every Time You Close Your Eyes” 2 -“Benny Blanco - The 4 Amigos” 1 -“The Chainsmokers - Wishing You Can Untouch” 2 -Might Change Title When I Have Time -“Charlie Puth - Day And Night Changes” 2 -“Coldplay - To Make You Wish You Don’t Have A Soul” 2 -“DNCE - The First To Arrive And Last To Leave” 1 -“Linkin Park - Rather Fall Than Surrender” 3 -“Kaskade - Your Voice Is All I Need” 1 -“Lana Del Rey - The “H” Word” 2 -“The Lumineers - A Cold Winter Morning” 2 -“Major Lazer - Gets You Off The Ground” 1 -“Major Lazer - Hard Bed, Soft Together” 1 -“OneRepublic - Rather Whisper Than Say” 1/2 -“Selena Gomez - Hope You Can Make It Back To Me” 3 -“Selena Gomez - I Need To Give You” 3 -“Shawn Mendes - If I Was Your First Lover” 1/2 -“Shawn Mendes - Fulfill Your Wishes” 1/2 -“Taylor Swift - February Missing You” 3 -“Taylor Swift - Waking Up And You’re Not Here” 3 -“Tove Lo - Roses In Water” 1 -“X Ambassadors - Repentance” 2/3 -“X Ambassadors - Remorses” 2/3 -“X Ambassadors - Regrets” 2/3 -“X Ambassadors - In The Woods” 3 -“X Ambassadors - No One To Be Found” 3 -“X Ambassadors - Only Nature Exists Now” 3 -“X Ambassadors - When You’re Lost” 3 -“2AM Club - I Still Remember You” 1

2 Killer -Henry Farm Childhood -Tom Cruise -Henry Cavill -Simon Pegg -Kelly Hu -Mila Kunis -Chiaki Kuriyama -Amy Johnston -Connell O’Brien -Yugioh Main Characters -Yugi -Joey -Bakura -Pegasus -Marik -Mai Valentine -Weevil -Rafael -Dartz -Charli D’amelio -Matt Howard -Alessandro Dellisola -Johannes Huebl -Sean O’Pry -Taylor Swift -Shawn Mendes -Girls Non-Killers -“Soft, Tender, Delicate” IGTV video -“Finger 11 - Paralyzer” IGTV video -Excluding Claire Miller -Abby Howard -Armie Hammer -Chace Crawford

3 Witches History on Earth -Malcolm in Heaven -Hocus Pocus -Vietnamese Girls -Trang Nguyen -Nguyen Ha My -Yen Nguyen -Written By Henry And Malcolm

4 Paris by Night in Modern Time -Presidents -Ben Affleck -Leonardo DiCaprio -1/4 Europeans -Brody Jenner -1/4 Asians -Japanese -Chiaki Kuriyama -Substitute -Cheyenne Stacey Powell -Administration -Nia Nguyen -Stephanie Che -The Bachelor Girls -The Bachelorette Girls -Clothes -Elementary And Middle School -Less Normal -High School -Fashion -College -Travel After College -Love

5 Ancient Forests -Josh Brueckner -Katie Betzing -“131 Tall Tree Guys” IGTV video -“Soft, Tender, Delicate” IGTV video -The Bachelor -The Bachelorette

6 Toys

7 Song Dynasty (960-1279 AD) -Inventions -Movable Type Printing (1041-1048 AD) -Gunpowder (1000 AD) -Compass (1100 AD) -Paper Money (11th century) -Arts -Music -Literature -Philosophy -Theme Romance -Marco Polo -Born in Venice -Silk Road -Visited China (1275-1292 AD) -Father and Uncle -Lingchi Torture -TVB Actors/Actresses -Kenneth Lam -Kacie Lo -Chloe Tsang -Clarissa Chan -Jessica Yi -Danny Shin -Joyce Lin -Shin -Alex Landi

8 Ancient Egypt -Theme Revenge, Ruling, Warfare -Pharaoh -Pyramids -Sphinx -Nile River -Farming -Hieroglyphics -New Kingdom (1570-1069 BCE) -Kings Are Called Pharaohs -Golden Age -Wealth -Prosperity -Power -Wars -Burned alive -Thrown into river with crocodiles -Charli/Dixie D’amelio -Addison Rae -“Roosevelt High School” IGTV video -Andrew Mead -Austin Perlatti -Bret Johnson -Carter Rey Johnson -Casey Manso -Christopher Wilson -Clay Barton -Colby Foss -Connor Bennett -Dalton Bond -Derek Pedersen -Hayden Njos -Jake Zylstra -Jared McAboy -Jeff Seid -Jett DiPalma -Jordan Kirkland -Ken Williams -Kevin Brown -Kevin Hall -Kevin Kennedy -Kramer Fairclough -Leo Trotz -Marco Amalfitano -Max Liebl -Michael Leverenz -Mike Suguro -Mitchell Booth -Nathan Lantz -Nathan Rodland -Matt Fisher -Nick Fisher -Nick Watson -Oak Griffith -Ozamataz Buckshank -Pabi Dhaliwal -Pat McGuire -Pierre Groenewald -Roddy Hanson -Ryan Johnson -Scott Andrew -Seth Gunning -Seth Shields -Sheldon Stober -Stephen Bishopp -Tanner Patnode -Taylor Tinney -Wes Concepcion -Zane McCanless -“Soft, Tender, Delicate” IGTV video -“INNA - Amazing” IGTV video -Elizabeth Rodland -Armie Hammer -Chace Crawford -Franky Cammarata -Johannes Huebl -Sean O’Pry -Blake Horstmann -Jan -Joe Sessa and his friends -Matt/Abby Howard -Taylor Dean -Kelley Flanagan -Jessica Clarke -Madison Prewett -Lindsey Allemeier -Katie Betzing -Ben Higgins -Hannah Ann -Ian Spear -Laguna Beach -Lauren -Kristin -Stephen -Talan -Jessica -Taylor -Adam Newton -Sean Lowe -Catherine Giudici -Brianne Schmidt -Connell O’Brien -Tyler Pichette -Hannah Brown -Max Tychsen -Dylan Inman -Tyler Cameron -Taylor Phillips

9 Mesopotamia -Daily Life -Learning To Be A Scribe -Ziggurat -One Of The Seven Wonders -Hanging Gardens -The Fertile Crescent -Invented The Plow -People Of The City-States -Nobles -Priests -Merchants -Scribes -Craftworkers -Free Farmers -Enslaved People -Farmers Who Did Not Own Their Land -Cut One Hand Off -Women’s Legal Status

10 Ancient Greece -Philosophers -Socrates -Plato -Aristotle -Mathematics/Science -Euclid -Archimedes -Eratosthenes -Hippocrates

11 Greek Gods/Goddesses -Athena, Goddess of Wisdom -Parthenon Temple

12 Alexander the Great

13 Medieval Europe (500-1500 AD) -Theme Suffering -Boiling -Baking -Burning -Brazen Bull -Cooking -Stretching Bones -Sleep Deprivation -Quartering -Children’s Crusades -Castles

14 Islam -Muhammad -Arabia -Persia -Pillars -Architecture -Learning -Astronomy -Algebra -Medicine -Mapmakers -1001 Nights Book

15 India In The Middle Centuries -Taj Mahal

16 Central/South America -Theme Coming of Age -Maya -Toltec -Aztec -Tenochtitlan -Teotihuacan -Olmec -Inca -Cotton -Maya Calendar -Maize Corn -Metal -Writing -Soccer -Rituals -Religious Ceremonies

17 Europe (1400-1750 AD) -Peasant Revolts -Wars -Renaissance -Coldplay -Exploration -North/South America -Slavery -Imperialism

18 Industrial Revolution (Late 1700s AD) -England

19 Nations in Conflict (1775-1921 AD) -Revolutions -Independence -Nationalism -Ending Ancient China

20 1900s Conflict -Hitler -Russia -Japan -Westernization -Communism -World War I -World War II -Cold War -Berlin Wall -Technology -Advancements -Independence -Space Race

21 1900s Fun -China -Shanghai -David Kangmeng -South Korea -Fashion -Music -Recreation -France -Coffee -Restaurants -Sex -Hugh Jackman -Germany -Hugh Jackman -Spain -Hugh Jackman -Great Britain -Hugh Jackman

22 United States 1970-1990 -Fraternity -Fun -Matt Damon

23 Adulthood in the United States -The Bachelor -The Bachelorette -City -Country -Jobs -Relationships -Financial Problems -Making It In Hollywood

24 Masculinity -Male To Male Friendships And Siblings -Domination -Dealing With Girls

25 Comedy PBN Part 2 “Spin Off” -Continues After “Paris By Night In Modern Time” -Age Around 30+ -Van Son Cast -Similar To “Adulthood in the United States” And “Virtues of Harmony II” But Different

26 Countryside “Que” In VN -Theme Suffering -Financial Problems -Hard Living -Making It As Singers -Dating Singers -Accidents -Human To Human Crimes -How To Get To The United States

27 Physical Buildings And Transportation -Thailand, Malaysia, And Singapore -Hotels -Motels -Apartments -Bars -Clubs -Supermalls -Supermarkets -Companies -Motorcycles -Taxis -Trains -Airports -Gambling

28 Companies And Corporations -India And The Middle East -Work Time -Play Time

29 Modeling -Brazil, Portugal, And Spain -Amazon Rainforest -Rio De Janeiro -Marcello Alvarez -Jobs -Pay Less -Require Effort -Tired -Time Consuming -High School Drop Out -Saving Money -Criminal Offenses -Competition

30 Hierarchy In Society -Mexico -Poor -Rich -Cartels -Illegal Immigration To The United States -MTV Reality And Game Shows -Cabo San Lucas -Travel To The Caribbean

31 Route To Antarctica -Theme Living With Air Pollution 1990s -Chile -Santiago -San Antonio -Argentina -Buenos Aires -Andes Mountains -Lake Titicaca -Atacama Desert -Tierra Del Fuego -Tip Of South America -Cape Horn -Herding Farm Animals -Biking

32 High School In Vietnam -Movie Length Duration -Fun During School -Hard Times Outside Of School

33 United States Road Trip -Washington -Oregon -California to East Coast -Variety Of Climates -Route 66

34 Girl Pornstars -Hot Girls -Hard Past -Family -Friendships -Relationships -School -Money -On The Street -Need Food -Need House -Need Home -Models -Real -Instagram -Victoria’s Secrets -Pornstars -Feelings -Resentful -Fearful -Anxious -Apprehensive -Insecure -Suspicious -Trust -Travel -Making It In The Porn Industry

35 Guy Pornstars -Straight Guys -Gay/Bi Guys -Henry Pheet -Malcolm -Random Grindr Hookups -Travel -Making It In The Porn Industry Leonardo DiCaprio Robert De Nero John Travolta Tom Cruise Henry Cavill Simon Pegg Christian Bale Hugh Jackman Keanu Reeves Edward Norton Sean Connery Matt Damon Mel Gibson George Clooney Tom Hardy Orlando Bloom Guy Pearce Heath Ledger Robert Redford Paul Newman Scarlett Johansson Rachel McAdams Amanda Bynes Japan -1900s WWI/II -Westernization South Korea -1990s K-POP China -Song Dynasty -Ending Ancient China -1900s Beijing Vietnam -School In United States -Travel -Love -Comedy -Countryside “Que” Thailand, Malaysia, And Singapore -Physical Buildings And Transportation Drama India -The Middle Centuries Taj Mahal -Companies And Corporations The Middle East -Companies And Corporations Europe -Medieval -Renaissance -Exploration -Imperialism Italy -Roman Empire France -1900s Great Britain -Industrial Revolution Mexico -“Hierarchy In Society” Brazil -Modeling Portugal -Modeling Spain -Modeling

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suspiciousempanada · 4 years

Text

Don’t you come back around here, hoe!

It was a shit day. Gray sheets of clouds blanketed the sky, dreary and melancholy. Straight out of the brain of Edgar Allen Poe or Pete Davidson. Why get up at this point? There is nothing for me on the outside world, but more opportunities to disappoint my hardworking immigrant parents. Still, I had to drag my unwilling body back to the office to file some things, type some things, and cry a little. Glad my degree at some pretentious university is coming in handy. Lunch time hits and I need something to perk my mood. Something that will lift my spirits and make me feel like everything is going to be alright…

I entered the Chipotle just one block away from my job. It’s my usual haunt so everyone in there knows me and my burrito needs. I see Harry behind the plexiglass pit station. He seems a little fidgety, very nervous to see me. “How’s it going, Chicharito?” I approach warmly. He stands there grinning like Jack Nicholson in The Shinning saying nothing. WTF is up with him? Ignoring Harry’s fuckery, I reorient my thoughts to matters of more importance: my burrito. “Steak burrito, white rice, black beans”, I say as if I’m singing “Priceline.com”. I’m unnerved he doesn’t know my order. I come here an unnatural amount of times during the week, he should know this. Alarms in my head start going off when Harry grabs his metal spoon and dribbles just a few pieces of steak onto a large bed of rice. Oh hell no! Harry knows not to play with my meat! Something is definitely wrong! Code Red, Blue, Green and Orange! “Harry are you ok? Is something wrong? What’s happening? Tell me!”

I hear the click of the safety being pulled back on a pistol right up against my left ear. “You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you?”, a voice behind me says. “I just want my fucking burrito man”, I bark right back. “Not today, bitch”. Their words ring through me like an ancient Chinese gong. I’m not sure what came over me, but I guess spending my childhood watching Jackie Chan movies paid off. My left leg shoots out behind me gliding against the floor, sending my assailant on their ass. I pounce on them quickly disarming them in the process. I tuck the gun behind me as I’m face to face with my burrito menace….

It’s my high school art teacher, Mrs. Ricenti, who called me a bitch in front of the whole class and told me I would never amount to anything!! “You!”, I shout. Mrs. Ricenti capitalizes on this moment of surprise with a quick kick to the gut that sends me across the Chipotle into the art deco wall that’s not really a wall. “Look out!” Harry shouts cowering behind a cart of cheese. I’m a little winded, but not badly hurt. “That all you got, puta?!” I hit her with a two-piece combo soda to the face! I do a swift spin move I would credit to Michael Jackson had I not seen the HBO documentary LEAVING NEVERLAND. Once I hit the air with a couple pelvic thrusts, I grab her by the throat and toss her out the doorway like Jazz on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. “Don’t you come back around here, hoe”, I shout out to a busy sidewalk as Mrs. Rincenti slinks away in defeat. “Yay! You saved us. You saved Chipotle!”, Harry shouts. “It’s the least I could do.” I say as I pat him on the back. “Now let’s get back on my burrito. Don’t play on the fucking meat this time!”

FIN.

#short story #pete davidson #comedy #writers #chipotle #art teacher #city #drop kick #fresh prince of bel air #michael jackson #burrito love

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