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kawataslvr · 2 months

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im craving some soft Mikey x male reader where reader is Draken’s distant relative coming to visit and really wanted to meet the supposed “Invincible Mikey” and when they do meet, they both like fall for each other immediately but dont say anything and Draken’s just so dumb and needs Emma to spell it out to him and hes just like “ohhh…wait what” and then freaks out not knowing what to do to help or something and Emma just ends up calling Hina and Takemichi to help plan some little date thing for Mikey n reader and Takemichi just ends up like patting Draken’s back saying “its ok to not understand how to be a 3rd wheel” lmfao

anywho, Mikey n reader end up together and have regular doriyaki dates or something <3

Summary : Fluff ,, He/Him ,, no actual warnings ,, Draken is distant cousins with reader,, a lil ooc ig?

SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG IVE JUST BEEN BUSY 😭🙏

A/N : SHDHFJ, please i love soft mikey and you gave me the perfect excuse to write him again.

Draken and you hung out every once in a while, even with that, you still hadn’t met Mikey in any one of those instances.

Much to your luck, Draken always told you.. but you were still super curious to meet the so called “invincible Mikey” never really getting to see him even if you lived around those parts.

After convincing him to let you meet him, you finally met the so called “Invincible Mikey” much to your surprise he was much more friendly.

Handsome.

Amazing..

Wonderful..

Why was your heart beating so fast now that he wad next to you? You hoped neither Mikey Draken noticed how flustered you were.

Even if Mikey was just as flustered, the conversation went normally. You and Mikey clicked immediately, it was plain to see right away.

Even if you two lived differently.

Draken somehow hadn’t caught on to you twos obvious liking for each other, even if you two were red as tomatoes very time you two accidentally touched.

Of course, when Emma saw you two.. she immediately saw it.

The marria— The way you two looked so cute together. And how both of you were hopelessly inlove.

Emma quickly asked Draken who the guy was , aka you. He told her and she freaked out, starting talking about how you two were perfect together while you and Mikey talked in the distance in the living room.

“Emma the hell do you mean?”

“You don’t see it!? The way Mikey is looking at that dude!?” Draken still didn’t catch whatever Emma was talking about, until they heard Mikey say something.

“You want some Y/N?” Did mikey just offer you his food? Not any, but his Doriyaki? Draken and Emma went silent.

The tall giraffe Draken finally catching on.

“You see what I mean!” Draken nodded and Emma quickly got to scheeming a date for you two.

Calling Takemichi and Hina over to arrange something for the two of you.

Draken and Takemichi went to go talk to you, Emma and Hina dragging Mikey away while he reluctantly screeched. Not that he couldn’t pull away, but Emma was scary.

You and Takemichi also got along well, but there was an obvious difference between how you and Mikey talked and you and Michi talked. Draken could now tell.

After Emma explained it to him and the hole sharing food situation.

“Mikey, do you like that guy!?”

“eh!?” Mikey was filled with confusion, not because he didnt. But did he make it that obvious? Did Y/N notice?

“It’s obvious! you like him right!?”

“I- Yeah I guess!?”

Mikey didnt really know how to react.

one second he was on the couch with you, and the next Hina and Emma were planning a date for him.

It took a bit of courage to ask you out on said date though.

alot.

alot of courage.

“Y/N, would you like to.. go out on a date with me?”

your heart didnt have to be pounding so fast. It really didn’t nevertheless you accepted his invite and got ready.

Freaking out internally about it.

After a bit of help from Hina (emma helped mikey.. the two planned this out step by step)

you got ready for the date and so did Mikey.

Draken and Takemichi felt like third wheels, Takemichi was used to this while he patted Draken on the back and said “Its okay, you’re gonna get used to this..”

You and Mikey were so nervous during the date, even if you two were talking normally yesterday.

You both assumed this silly little first sight crush would pass eventually.

Not end up like this.

Why were you so nervous? It was going great, if anything the sate was amazing.

You two ended up being closer, maybe Draken letting you meet Mikey wasn’t a bad idea.

At all.

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avvail-whumps · 10 months

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‘guns for hire’ — appoggiatura #22

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content warnings: intimate whumper, whumper caretaking, non-con touching (not sexual), mentioned weight loss (from lack of food), past vomiting, past character death, injuries, past knife wound, past strangulation, manipulation

Leo felt strangely peaceful when he finally woke up.

He could feel the comfort of his mattress underneath him, the duvet and a fluffy little blanket tucked neatly over him. The pillow under his head was fluffed up, his tired eyes fluttering open slowly to accommodate the sunlight streaming into his room.

It was quiet.

A peaceful tranquility was washing over him, his body not too hot, and not too cold. His eyes stared blankly up at the ceiling, his thoughts struggling to even process properly.

He wasn’t in any pain. His gaze flickered down to his arms, lay over the duvet. His hands were completely bandaged up, as well as various wounds on his skin smoothed over with fresh plasters. He was even void of any dirt and dried blood, completely clean.

Fresh clothes had been pulled onto his body while he slept. Something sticking in the crease of the inside of his elbow caught his slow attention, and he languidly followed the little tube to see it was attached to an IV.

Leo’s head hit the pillow again. He felt almost lightheaded and fuzzy, wondering how many drugs he’d been pumped full of to feel so strangely content. His memories stirred in his brain. He remembered a glimpse of something; a familiar face, a familiar voice and warmth. His eyes flickered to the door in haste.

Roy had come back.

He recalled it vividly. Finger staggering into his room in a drunken vigour, the knife slotting into his flesh and the crushing, coiling sensation that had almost sucked the life out of him. He could briefly see the fuzzy last moments of Finger’s body, before his mind cut out. It hurt his head to think about it anymore.

Leo’s stomach rolled with an uncertain amount of dread.

He had no idea if that had even been real. What if, in the fleeting seconds of his life, he’s conjured up some mind bending scenario? What if Roy wasn’t even here?

He despised the fact that that thought made him miserable. Misery, plain as day, made his heart sink into his stomach. He wasn’t willing to move from his comfortable spot on the bed. He hadn’t had a single moment during the time with the other mercenaries which wasn’t filled with pain; whether that be from their hands, or the horrible injuries they left behind on his fragile skin. Roy’s comforting embrace had been something he desperately craved.

He pressed his head further into the pillow, relishing in the comfort of his own bed. This felt like a luxury he hadn’t had the pleasure of having in a very long time. When he closed his eyes, he drifted back off into unconsciousness. It was calming, to finally close his eyes with the knowledge of knowing he wouldn’t be dragged violently from his slumber. He hadn’t dreamt for a very long time, but he could imagine a bright blue sky and fluffy clouds awaiting him beneath his eyelids.

The creaking of the door was all it took to bring him out of his light sleep.

He’d learned not to sleep too deeply, so his eyes were flickering open instinctively as he craned his head towards the door.

“Glad you’re awake, lion,” Roy smiled as he walked inside, still geared up in his clothes he briefly remembered him in. The rifle was still strapped over his back and shoulder, black mask bundled under his chin. His gloved hand was holding a steaming bowl of what Leo could only assume was soup again. This time, he was carrying it on a breadboard. It was accompanied by a plate of plain bread, a knife and spoon, and a small package of butter. His eyes instantly landed on the glass of water, and he realised just how dry his mouth really was.

Leo lightly pinched himself just to make sure it was real.

Roy really was back, and Leo didn’t have to endure their torture anymore. He felt like he had really taken Roy’s arrangement for granted now that he’d been through a living nightmare. It was almost normal.

Roy set the board on the bedside table. He shrugged his bag and rifle up against the wall, before approaching the edge of the bed with his beady eyes pinned on Leo’s form. He took a seat perched on the side, and his gloved fingers gently nudged his cheek.

“You’ve gotten skinnier since I last saw you,” he sighed, his head tilting. Leo dazily stared at him, not really knowing what to answer with. It wasn’t as if Leo had had a proper meal in weeks. Everything Joey had made him try to eat, he’d unceremoniously thrown back up again. He supposed that was why there were various little tubes sticking out of the inside of his elbow. It was a relief not to feel so exhausted and miserable. Leo wasn’t feeling much, really.

The touch lingered on his skin. He keenly leaned towards it when Roy’s hand fell back to his side. He shifted, motioning for him to sit up.

“Come here. Let’s try to get something down you, okay, lion?”

Leo jerkily nodded his head, and allowed the mercenary to slowly pull him into a sitting position. His head swam and little black dots filled his vision, before Roy gently let him lean against the headboard to relax. His eyes instantly flickered down to where he remembered the knife prodding into his flesh. Roy followed his eyes with a hum, but he seemed quietly amused rather than concerned. He then plucked the glass of water, and pressed it to his lips.

Leo’s throat ached as the cool water flooded into his mouth, and he was suddenly aware of how sore and tight the flesh was there. He almost spluttered, before regaining his composure. He felt like he could still feel Finger’s hands around his neck, squeezing the life out of him.

He shuddered, and pushed that horrible memory down.

“You’ve been asleep for a few days, you know,” Roy drawled, dumping that piece of information on him casually. Leo’s wide eyes stared at him intensely. “I got bored and went out hunting. Joey’ll cook for those lot tonight. You don’t have to worry about that.”

That made Leo remember something.

His lips curved into a soft frown. “I didn’t…” He paused, wincing when his throat flared. It was difficult to even speak. “I didn’t cook.”

The mercenary’s lips twitched. “It’s fine, lion.”

“I’m sorry,” he blurted, his voice cracking miserably. “You told me that was all I had to do, but—”

“I said it’s fine,” Roy interrupted firmly, and the words swiftly died in his throat. “I heard they gave you a hard time. I can see that just from looking at you. It’s a good job I got back when I did though, huh?”

Leo’s bandaged hand instinctively came to rub his throat. Although drunk, Finger had intended to kill him. He was grateful the mercenary showed up when he did. He slowly nodded his head, and Roy chuckled lightly. His hand came up to gently brush the underside of his jaw, and Leo’s stomach knotted tightly. His lips were wobbling open before he could stop himself.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

Roy’s eyes shimmered. “I know you did.”

His cheeks blushed pink, and the mercenary stood to his feet. He moved over to the cupboard beside him, and reached up to the top of it, tugging something down. It was a peculiarly shaped black case from the glimpse he got, his neck too sore to keep craning his head around. Leo gripped the edge of the thinner blanket lightly.

“I got something to cheer you up, actually,” Roy hummed, almost sounding merry. The case must have been up there since he returned, as he brushed a hand across the top harshly to get rid of any gathered dust. He wandered back over to him, gently setting it down in his lap. “Well, I didn’t buy it. These things are too expensive.”

Leo’s eyes popped open. Now that it was in front of him, he instantly recognised the unmistakable shape.

“Oh my god,” he whispered, his fingers eagerly latching onto it to pop it open. Dark red velvet filled his vision, as well as the sight of a beautiful violin. He could have sworn he heard his breath audibly hitch. His trembling fingers gently brushed against the distinctive maple wood, gently tracing each taut string as if it would break underneath him. His eyes flickered to the bow on the other side of the case, almost as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“I asked for a good one,” Roy hummed. “They all looked the same to me.”

Leo hadn’t even thought about the possibility of never being able to play. It hadn’t occurred to him that under captivity, he might not ever be able to get his hands on a violin again. Yet here one was, sitting in his lap. His heart was hammering in his chest from the sheer excitement, glancing at Roy with wide eyes.

“Thank you,” he choked out. “Thank you so much.”

He gently eased the violin out of its slot, holding it as if it was glass. It was beautiful.

“I even got you one of those stands,” Roy motioned gently, tilting his head. “The ones you put the music on. I couldn’t get you any books, but when I next send those lot grocery shopping, I’ll make sure they bring you plenty back. Does that sound good, lion?”

Leo was still awestruck, but he jerkily nodded his head regardless. “Yes.”

Roy smiled coyly. His hand reached up to gently run through his hair.

“Good,” he hummed. “It’s an incentive for you to get better quickly. Then you can play me something.”

“I will,” Leo shakily whispered. He barely had the strength to put it back in its case, closing it shut. “I promise.”

The mercenary’s eyes glimmered in amusement. “Good boy.”

His heart was thrumming in anticipation. He could feel it bursting through each vein, every cell in his body alight with joy. His mind swam with all the pieces he wanted to revisit, the new sounds he wanted to explore. With Roy’s presence and his hand gently carding through his hair, sending him into a relaxed daze, Leo almost forgot about all the other mercenaries.

Roy picked up the board of food. “Now,” he sighed, lips curved into a sly smile. “Let’s try and get you to eat something.”

tag list – @unorganisedalienrubbish @d-cs @rabidrabidme @sordayciega @burningkittypoet @whumpawink @mannerofwhump @suspicious-whumping-egg @welcome-to-the-whumpfest @whatwasmyprevioususername @crilex29 @firefly017 @dutifullykrispyland @wibbly-wobbly-whump @there-will-always-be-blood @anonintrovert @justawhumpjunkie @whumptastic-world @ha-ha-one @whatwhumpcomments @whumpterful-beeeeee @anonymous1235 @sonder35 @unforgiven235 @whumpasaurus101 @mj-or-say10

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kisses4suna · 2 years

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may i request suna, kita, and osamu with a gender neutral s/o that has a sports related injury, such as a relatively bad sprain (any sport, and it can be a different injury, whatever you prefer !)? i recently messed up my tendons during tkd and it's been a lil rough

WHEN THEIR S/O HAS AN INJURY !

☆ featuring. suna rintarou, kita shinsuke, miya osamu

☆ a/n. i am so sorry.. i have never played any sports in my entire life so correct me if im wrong 😭😭 only sport ive ever played was basketball and i was so bad at that.. also im so sorry you had to get injured like that, youre so strong, i could never 😭💀 anyway im so very sorry this took a long time to post, ive been super busy and my school recently just started so i have 0 time for anything, im super sorry bby!!

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

SUNA RINTAROU

- is literally watching you 24/7 because he’s scared you might hurt yourself even more or something like that

- he will give you “massages” and they make it feel worse but you’ll never tell him that..

- he’s always texting you stuff like “does your body hurt?” “are you okay?” “do you need me to come over” “do u need advil” because he just wants to make sure youre okay 😭

- sometimes he could be real mean and decide to say stuff like “thats why your injured rn 🙄🙄” he’d say it as a joke obviously but loves to uses it against u 😭

- he’s very overdramatic, like if he sees you on the couch reaching to get the remote he will be like “nonono!! let me” and even if its the most simplest action ever, he still goes out of his way to do anything for u

- he googles everything and anything that will help your injury like, “does ice help?” “should you start moving more or just stay put?” “ice or heat?” and he’ll continue googling all these questions trying to help you instead of actually calling a doctor or anything 😭

KITA SHINSUKE

- always telling you to rest, he tells you to take naps, go to sleep earlier, and just try to sleep off the pain

- he’s so very much responsible so if he has a question or you about what and what not you should do, he’s already dialing your doctor asking what you should and should not be doing

- would only ever cook healthy stuff from now on… every time you ask him for a candy or something sweet he says that you should regain your strength back before ruining it with sweets

- is by your side 24/7 and has everything prepared for you if you need it

- he’s always blaming the sport you play, saying that you’re overworking yourself and that you should rest a lot more

- he basically is like your mom, he’s always reminding you to take your vitamins and medicine, and to eat healthy, sleep more, and he doesn’t mean to sound so controlling but he can’t help but be worried about you!!

MIYA OSAMU

- cooks you whatever you crave

- your injury is basically a free pass for you to get spoiled by him!!

- he doesn’t really know what to do but at the same time he does, if that makes sense.. he calls kita up when he needs help and wants to know what to do, and plus he always has atsumu too if he needs help!

- doesn’t want to come off as extremely clingy so he lets you do some stuff independently but will keep a watch on you just incase something happens

- his food tastes 10x better because he wants to make sure it tastes good just for you <3

- overall he knows you’re extremely strong and that you’ll overcome it but for the meantime he just wants to take care of you ☺️

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mouthfulloftoothpasterry · 1 year

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Vet Harry rambles ?

SORRY IVE BEEN MAKING YOU WAIT FOR SO LONG BUT I FINALLY POSTED IT UGH IM SORRY :((

Okay so first of all

Y/n loves his little hip chub ☹️ like ugh

The little hip chin he’s got from only surviving on eating whatever is the daily pastry (he’s literally giving mouthful of tooth pastry) at the bakery across the street

And she pinched at his little hip chub and bites it

And he just whines and giggles because it tickles but he secretly loves it :p

And he’s so the boyfriend who is balls deep in her but still asks “do you like me though???”

Like not to get all sad but I definitely feel like based on his personality and other random things that in the past people haven’t treated him the best so in relationships he’s very insecure about stuff like that

So she constantly has to reassure him that she really does love him, and then he apologizes for it but she doesn’t mind, she likes reminding him how much she loves him

And y/n’s family is obsessed with him

Anytime he is around her family it’s just hugs and smiles all around

The little kids love him because he shows interest in their games and asks if he can play, and because he knows a lot about animals

And the adults and older adults loves him because he’s so sweet and always there to have a conversation without there being awkward silences

And I KNOWWW I’m getting ahead of myself because this is not happening any time soon!!!

But I can’t stop thinking about how sweet Harry would be when she’s pregnant.

I imagine she probably moves in with him since he has a big town house, and maybe after their baby I’d a year or so old they move into a cute little house together

I can definitely see that same angsty trope we see a lot where y/n gets super insecure during pregnancy happening to them

But this time Harry also gets super insecure and he’s like “she’s gonna leave me because she’s got that amazing pregnancy glow and now she’s going to have a super cute baby by her side and everyone’s going to want her 😢”

And pregnancy sex kind of… absolutely blows his mind

He loves having the bump to rub and more hip chin to grab onto when needed

He especially liked how sensitive and reactive she is because sometimes he tends to get a little ahead of himself and get a little crazy and then he has her a whimpering pile of mush in his arms

And when she is working harry is SICK

Constantly calling her “remember to take breaks, don’t wear yourself out walking all over that hospital. Just stay with the babies today, don’t leave the NICU at all. Sit there and coo at the cute babies.”

And when she finally takes maternity leave he is so relieved oh god

But while she’s pregnant harry is always running out to the little bakery across the street

And he claims it’s for the baby so they can come out with a sweet tooth like their daddy so they can take little trips to the bakery together

But it’s really so he has an excuse to buy a bakers dozen of their raspberry lemon muffins

But he also loves going out to grab whatever y/n is craving

And she obviously knows a lot about pregnancy and babies since she is a NICU nurse

So she’s like “H, if I’m craving sugar I should probably just have some fruit. It’s really good for the baby, you know. I need to get my fruit and veggies in now more than ever.”

“I’ll get you a slice of apple pie! It’s mainly apples.”

And he is ALWAYS talking to her bump, constantly kissing it and rubbing it and singing to it and just rambling on about anything and everything

“And then when I was feeding Muffin today he tried to bite my hand because he thought I would pour the food into his bowl quicker but he was sadly mistaken because then I winced in pain for a couple minutes to make him feel bad just so he could learn a lesson and not bite his daddy.”

“Harry are you done?”

“No, my story isn’t over yet, petal. Then Muffin felt really bad. Maybe we should keep the names the same Oreo, Muffin, I think we should name the baby… jelly bean.” (That was random but it’s about to be Easter so that’s the first thing that popped in my Harry’s head)

And from then on they nickname the baby jellybean

They got so tired of calling the baby “it” or “they” with nothing else to call them because they have not picked out a name, and because it felt a little impersonal to them

So now the baby was “jelly bean”

“How’s the little jelly bean doing?”

“Did our little jelly bean keep you up all night”

“Wait, petal, you know what I just thought of? Now you have a jelly belly. Isn’t that so funny?… get it? Because a jelly bean brand is named jellybelly.”

And even once the baby is out they are still “jelly bean”

They hardly bother called the baby their real name, even though they picked that name for a reason and love it, jelly bean just felt more natural for them and it was the affectionate nickname they used for half a year

And once Harry has to leave to go back to work he’s so upset “why can’t I just take my jelly bean with me 😞 they can come see the puppies and the little kittens.”

“They have two huge puppies here. I’ll call you on your break so you can see her, I’ll send you photos, I’ll let you know all about the horrible dirty diapers and spit up I’ll have to deal with once you’re home.”

Okay that’s really all the thoughts I have 😩

Let me know what your thoughts too 🤭

#harry styles #vet!harry #Harry styles fluff #harry styles headcanon #Harry styles concept #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader

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monstrouslyobsessed · 9 months

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some of these are SUPER old, gomen, so it'll be all under the cut for yall sanity. i really need to start answering more timely rip

tw: mild implications of noncon (cerelos), psychological mindfucks (cerelos), mentions of pregnancy (dol)

Oh, I can wait for your content as long as it takes! Creating is not an easy task, so take your time, dear. Ofc, posting everyday is cool, blah-blah, but your health and mental state is much more important. Don't worry about this <3 And talking about DoL, did you get to Ivory Wraith already? Who is your faves generally? —anonymous

did i not answer this before??? tumblr, please. anyway, ye i did! plotwise, very very fascinating. gameplay wise, annoying as heck when i was in middle of things i was working towards to lol i do wish ivory wraith's plot wouldn't be centered around weird anal/ear/whatever pregnancy tho, thats…kinda not my thing kdshkds--and thats coming from someone who writes preg on the regular. pls dev.

Ahhhh don't feel bad! Ur content is top-tier and u r a lovely perfect bun! Even quick look on your post is enough to feel that you're always working hard to give your best – it's we who should be thankful for all food u r giving </3

A lot lot lot of love to ya, dear 🥰 @iwanthistongue

dawww thank you dear <3333 i just wish i have it in me to be the super productive like some of the epic writers on this platform, but i dont dsklhdsl so all i can do is to do my best and provide every so often <3 also sorry that i cant seem to ping you???

Omg you're into dol? Who's your favorite character so far? —anonymous

eden, tbh! i ran into a scenario where they kidnapped me angry after being gone for too long. oof, what happened after that…wheeoooow but most of the characters are pretty dang good too!! i'd like to focus more love on kylar but theyre quite...annoying gameplay wise so…augh lol

i crave more beastfolk content 🤤 maybe something with a male reader dealing with a few yandere beastfolk who are trying to one-up each other and compete for him? male!yandere x male!reader content is a bit hard to find, especially if it's transmale!reader —anonymous

just send in an ask and i'll see what i can do! i found writing male readers (be it cis or not!) a little tricky sometimes, because i always feared crossing that…bad line, yanno? in spite of the contents i write.

that said, i'm all for writing more gays, just need a little nudge and sparks to write one~

have you heard of scp 401? —anonymous

…huh, this is a pron in the making. but no! this is the first ive heard of it. im aware of scp and knew some of its characters but not this one!!

Happy bday! I hope you got yourself a nice treat! —anonymous Happy birthday, dear! 🥳—anonymous Happy (i guess)late birthday, luv!!! Thank you for writing at this special day, hope your day was amazing <3 —anonymous

ohhhh this is months late;;; im so sorry but thank you all so much for your kind bday wishes!! ily all a bunch!!!

OMG YESSSS LORE!!! MORE MORE MORE <333 Thank you for the food, I can't stop re-reading 😭😭😭 —anonymous

ye~i mainly wanted to do more centaur pron tbh LOL glad you liked my nasty bois!

For a few days I had a thought- I hope it's ok to share ahaha- Okay, so – after getting in his grasp his future bride were acting so, so good. Her dedication is admirable, she's a quick learner and charismatic enough to get the liking of the teachers and maids. Her gentle and caring nature shows while she's communicating with others – no surprise everyone likes her. She's the same she was the day he met her... But the thing is, after all of this, she's absolutely terrified of Cerelos. She's not crying and wailing, but she's getting so quiet, so uncomfortable in his company, she always hiding her eyes and never tries to speak first – and she trembles so, so bad every time they're touching! Last time she even fainted from all nerves. How he may act and how mad he would be that servants getting more smiles and laughs than him? —anonymous

hmmm depends on why the darling is frightened tbh are they always afraid or is this started after cerelos took them the first time? i do imagine he'd be pretty upset and even offended, though he won't outwardly show his feelings. he'd probably start ordering the servants to disappear whenever the darling is in sight, be invisible, to further isolate them, to force them either to face their loneliness and/or accept cerelos as their emperor and husband. since humans are in nature social, they'd naturally long for some form of company and possibly some skin to skin contact.

in short, since the coecrced sex doesn't seem to do enough, cerelos would've likely infict some psychological damages on his darling to force them to accept him. he wouldn't be…physically abusive, no, but he will emotionally and mentally cripple his darling without relying on cruel words and uses some amount of gaslighting.

regardless, you will only have him and you will love him. he is, after all, your emperor and husband. why wouldn't you embrace him and his power?

Hi! I hope this is okay to ask: I saw one of your slightly older asks, and you mentioned you have a draft with a slime monster. I'm very curious about that one (but I also love your writing in general!), so I just wanted to ask you if you plan on finishing it —anonymous

.....sdhdflsk i thought i posted it, gosh dang it. well, i'll look into this later. if nothing else, it would be nice to go back and post my shitty 5 minutes thoughts again.

Hello how are you ? Hope you are doing well ❣️ I wanted to ask if you will continue or write anything similar like the rabbit hybrid fic ..it's my fav and i also like the ghost husband fic ..sorry if i made u uncomfortable👉👈...Have a nice day💖 —anonymous

i'm doing better!! <3 ty for checking in, luvvv

and after some waffling around, i considered since human/beastfolk hybrids are so rare and are considered the 'monsters' of their world (ig basically, considered as 'mythical', like yeti's and such, but actually does exist, kind of monsters), i figured it couldn't hurt to make these sad hybrids canon to my universe soooooooo ye i wouldn't mind doing more of them!! also i've done a crocodile hybrid one, if you've missed that one.

no, no, you're good! <3 loves getting asks like this~

the momster is back!!! we missed you, hope you’re having a good day <333 (p.s i am a monster fucker through and through, i will literally read and love anything you write mwah) @letskidaddle

daww youre so sweet!!! <3 ty!! monster fuckers united!!!! and yes you have a lovely day as well!!

whewwww, thats some asks to get through hhhh but man tumblr is so ugly. anyone know the fix to get it back to its simple self??

anyway, im slowly getting into the swing of things. got couple wips i can work on, maybe, and clear the inboxs for a fresh start (sorry to anyone who were waiting on certain things!! you can send them again tho!! a clean slate is needed imo). anyway, hope yall are doing wonderfully <3

#ghosts are curious.👻#☠️not writing...#anonymous #asked #answered

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sonicfanthenightfury5099 · 7 months

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Pregnant with Werewolf Michael's pups RZ Halloween Edition

Note: Here's another pregnancy hc for Tall wolf Mickey, Ive done it with OG, so here's RZ Michael

The amount of times you and Michael have what he calls "Breeding Sex," you're going to end up pregnant one of these days. Till one day you noticed that you're late.

Michael even noticed too

You went to Michael after you went to the doctor, the news was a surprise. Your pregnant

Michael thought you were pulling his leg when you told him the news. But you where serious, he was stunned and he hugged you. He's going to be a Papa

While you start to get things ready for the baby, Michael will help you. He helped his mother with his baby sister, now he's having a baby of his own with you.

The morning sickness came and went, he was there to hold your hair

The cravings where weird, Michael knows the various cravings are but since his Lycanthropy there very odd, Meat and raw foods. Would this effect a human/Werewolf child? He thought

The baby bump starts to show and Michael is in awe of the sight of life developing.

Wolf Michael would cuddle up with you with his hand on you bump.

When the kicking starts he wants to feel them when they happen. You in delightment seeing you tall Wolfman feeling his and your baby kicking in your womb.

Aching back and feet on month 9

When the day comes he's out while you feel the contractions getting closer within 2 minute span, hoping he comes home to be with you to see his baby come to the world.

Michael came home and heard you screaming in your shared room. Running to your, he opened the door to see you on the bed bringing your child into the world.

You pushed and pushed till you both heard the cries of your baby. Michael was in tears seeing his child under the blanket, he wanted to hold them before you got a chance to get the cord cut and cleaned.

You started to scream once again and started to push once again. Michael was now confused about what's happening, you pushed and pushed till you birthed a second baby. You gave birth to Twins, Michael's over the roof.

You got them cleaned and wrapped in warm blankets, holding one while Michael held the other baby. Michael was cooing at the little one he now held in his arms. He was waiting for this day to hold his child that you and him created.

You needed to rest after delivering them. He gladly took the other from you so you can sleep and he can get to know his pups.

Michael definitely will be by their side to keep an eye and to play with them. Feeding time is a no-brainer for him, just holding each bottle with each kid in his arms.

Michael being in baggy clothes, and his hair put up for his kids to see their papas face.

Pups will start to show that wolf part when they're a month old, little wolf ears and paws.

Teething is a nightmare, bitting, and nawing on anything they can get their hands. Michael would be covered in bandages from little teeth marks on his arms.

Long walks as a family, both pups in a stroller (like a big stroller that fits two babies.)

Michael would spend more time at home to be with his kids, and he's thinking about expanding his pack a little more someday.

#michaelmyers #werewolf #werewolfmichaelmyers #robzombieshalloween #tall michael myers #Tall Michael being a Soft boy ✨️

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anything-but-predictable · 11 months

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Iba talaga nagagawa ng good and enough rest and sleep, lakas makaganda at maka uplift ng mood. I feel like I’m a completely different person today when I woke up following a 12+ hours of sleep, I can’t remember when was the last time I’ve done this. Three days off starts today! I was asked for a weekend trip to Wales but I really don’t feel like going coz I’m looking forward to recuperating from last week’s long days at work. It’s just so nice to not have any plans too. I miss my long warm baths and shower, inom night and massage session 😌

Slow days are one of life’s greatest joys. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I’m already on my 40’s. I mean wala namang masama dun, but can I savour this very moment at least?

At dahil hindi pa achievable ang lambing as one of my ultimate cravings, dito muna ko sa sinigang which is attainable and more realistic to achieve 😂

I haven’t had the time yet to shop kaya kung ano na lang ang meron sa fridge and pantry. Spinach has always been my pambansang gulay na pwede sa lahat, I used to cook laing using dried spinach nun nasa Saudi pa ako.

I appreciate every mundane chance of me to eat and enjoy my food in peace. Pag nasa work ako, nasa toilet or Ive just started my lunch hinahanap na agad ako which leads me to eating my food quickly to get back to work. Most of the time, sa nurses station na lang ako kumakain so I am around when something comes up.

#daily musings #random thoughts #online diary #life lately #oxford

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kastellaran · 2 months

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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

tagged my @defeateddetectives ^_^ thank you <33

3 ships you like: hmm see which three should I pick here... let's say komahina (danganronpa. yes), bruabba (jjba p5) and just to spice things up, momoko and ichi from maiko-san chi no makanai (really lovely food centric manga about two girls who move to kyoto to become maiko but one of them ends up becoming the cook at the maiko house instead. sometimes frustrates me because of how strong the gay "undertones" are and then the author seems to insist on pursuing a het love triangle/probably het end game with a dude who has a comparatively shallow relationship with his love interest. anyway ever since the flashback chapters came out ive been shipping the house mother and sumire's geiko onee-san because if there's one throughline in my top ships, it's older side characters with some kind of tragic/emotionally fraught relationship LOL.) propaganda:

"Yuuko never let anyone in her room before she became a trainee. [...] For her to be swapping beds with others is... no, it's just Azusa."

(They have each other's apartment keys. She comes over and sleeps in her room. Halfsies!!!)

(This is basically a marriage proposal to me)

first ship ever: ...I think it was karkat/terezi from homestuck. This is kind of funny but before I really got into fandom or when I was just beginning, my approach to text was basically reading it with the most surface level/likely reading. I literally didn't understand why people would ship characters who I "knew" would never get together in canon. I didn't see the point in it LOL to me shipping was like horse racing or something, you ship the characters who are the most likely to end up together. This is also very funny in retrospect considering what happened with that particular ship but I had long moved on from it by the time davekat was canonized so I was happy.

last song you heard: either burning desire by lana del rey (blaming mirai for this) or alan stivell's ian morrisson reel

favourite childhood book: i don't think i had or have a favorite one ummm I was really into the secret series by pseudonymous bosch when i was a kid

currently reading: hmm i'm keeping up with maiko-san and ekuoto (make the exorcist fall in love. it's neat i recommend it though i'm not a big fan of the art style), and I was reading the oofuri manga which i should get back to but currently my attention is being taken up by natsuyuu lol. as for non-manga though the last thing I read before natsuyuu was Devil Venerable Also Wants To Know which is SO GOOD and i had more art ideas in mind for it which i want to get back to at some point...

currently watching: I don't watch a whole lot of stuff. I'm keeping up with the dunmeshi anime but tbh i really don't like the coloring for it. the art is okay but ryoko kui's art is kind of unmatched. it's just nice to have something to watch with my friend every week. also i've been doing a natsuyuu anime rewatch in anticipation of s7 with a friend whose never seen it before

currently consuming: nothing but i just had some crazy noodles. leftover curry in a pan + frozen corn + instant noodles = yummy

currently craving: nothing because i am now full :D

ill tag @ponimado @tattoosingarishhues @beguinemystic @dysaniium @moritzallein @somapodra @garbageg0blin @chuck-charles @joelletwo as always this is just if you wanna!

#this just became maiko san propaganda lmao #also revealing me to be somewhat boring of a person LMAO #tag meme

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animeomegas · 2 years

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Im licking the floor for crumbs of lore please 😔 also from what ive pieced together, i think Hadrian is a prince that was kidnapped by the bad pirate guy or smth and you rescue him and escort him back to his kingdom and then drama ensues

'Licking the floor for crumbs of lore' is something I'm going to say forever now ahaha!

The story, in my head, is sort of planned out like a trilogy, so would your lore craving be satisfied by an overview of book 1?

I hope so, because here it is!

Warnings for kidnapping and reference non-consensual sex.

Also, remember this is just my very first draft of the overarching story haha, don't judge too harshly, it hasn't been edited.

...

So, it's National founding day in Anaret, the city Hadrian is from, and all the royal family is out and about for the celebrations and traditions.

Until an explosive is detonated in the crowd.

In the ensuing chaos, Hadrian is kidnapped by a group hoping to hold him for ransom.

But, before they can follow through, Hadrian is kidnapped from them by Kars (the bad pirate guy) who smuggles him out to sea.

For a period of about four months, Hadrian is kept on the ship. He isn't given much food or allowed to bathe often.

During this time, he becomes pregnant through non-consensual means.

After those four months, he is rescued by reader who kills Kars and sinks his ship.

Hadrian is very withdrawn and quiet, and seems resistant to bathing, even though he eats readily and gratefully.

It becomes clear why after he has bathed, as the reader notices his hair isn't just blond underneath all the dirt, but ice blond, the hair colour only held by royal blood in Anaret.

Reader realises that Hadrian is the lost prince.

They also realise he's pregnant.

With a royal bastard child.

Fuck.

Hadrian begs them not to sell him, but to let him go at the next port so he can find his way home.

Reader agrees under the condition that he stay in their quarters the entire time, because if their crew knew they were hiding someone so valuable with no intention to make money from him, they could mutiny.

They kind of awkwardly keep out of the other's way for a week.

Until one night, there is some heavy rain, not a storm by any means, but enough to really spook Hadrian who hates storms a lot because of the helpless feeling of being at the mercy of said storm at sea.

Reader and Hadrian properly bond for the first time and end up falling asleep together in reader's bed.

They don't speak about it, but it's clear they've started to like/trust each other at least a little.

Another few weeks later, and they arrive at a small port town. Reader was planning on staying for two weeks to restock the ship and allow her crew to have some fun and recuperate on land.

Hadrian goes to leave, but reader realises how little he knows about the real world and offers to escort him on the week long journey so he doesn't die or get kidnapped again, and they'll be back just in time for their crew to leave.

Nix, the second in command would oversee the restock and everything in their absence.

Hadrian gratefully agrees to the escort.

They go together on foot, Hadrian wearing a cloak and hood the whole time to avoid being recognised. They are far enough from Anaret that they can't trust anyone with the information about who he is.

As they walk, they learn more about each other. Hadrian tries some food from a stall that he's never had before, then they walk a few towns over and find a place to stay for the night.

They are starting to like each other a lot at this point.

The next morning they have to walk in some woods, which Hadrian finds difficult due to the old pregnant thing. Reader helps him and in return Hadrian starts to really trust them and open up about his family and his past.

He tells them about his distant relationship with his mother, and the way that his older brother and father doted on him.

Reader tentatively does the same, talking about how they ended up being a pirate and what draws them to the sea. They don't have any living family, as their only family was killed in an incident that was the fault of those in charge of their home city. Pirates, who went against those people, were any easy choice to join when they had nothing left.

That night, they camp out in the open in the woods and they fall asleep in each other's arms.

Reader is awoken in the middle of the night by a noise.

It turns out to be some bandits trying to ambush them.

It's a tense fight, but reader makes it out on top from experience and all three bandits are unconscious.

Reader goes to kill them but Hadrian says not to.

Reader does not agree. They say that he's an idiot if he thinks they won't just follow them straight away now they know he's the missing prince.

Hadrian insists that killing is wrong regardless. Reader says something like 'you were fine with me doing it to Kars' and kills the bandits anyway.

Hadrian is furious and refuses to speak to the reader, keeping his distance.

(on the inside, he is scared at seeing something so violent and scared at the reminder that reader is a pirate, the same kind of person that held him captive for months. He feels betrayed and stupid for trusting them.)

They don't go back to sleep, and instead continue onto the next town.

Then there is a bathing in the river scene which introduces *sexual tension* but they're still super mad at each other lol. Just horny now too.

They get to the next town very late, and the only room they can get has only one bed?!

Hadrian is still upset, but after reader goes to the effort of getting him some food even though the tavern is mostly closed and doesn't push his boundaries, he softens a little.

While reader is asleep that night, he sorts out his feelings and tentatively makes the decision to at least be friendly again, but to avoid anything more than that. (Good luck with that Hadrian lol)

The next day they set off to Cyiac, the nearest town with a safe river crossing and hopefully a supply of horses.

Before they find a place to stay though, reader sees an event going on in one of the buildings, a dance and entertainment style event with alcohol etc.

They find a way to sneak in without a ticket and convince Hadrian to come with them.

He's never seen anything like this, palace entertainment is very different obviously.

He loves it a lot and is super enthralled by the performances. Reader ends up buying a piece of jewellery similar to the performers for Hadrian to have as a souvenir.

Then they find a place to stay the night.

In the morning, they go and try to find some horses.

The person selling the horses enquires if they are married.

Hadrian goes to say no, but reader says yes before he can because Cyiac is very traditional and him being pregnant without being married could have them turned away from the shop.

They find out that because of the explosives that were set off in Anaret a few months back, Cyiac, who relies on them quite a bit, wasn't getting as many sales in their normal exports as Anaret were focused on rebuilding. With less money, Cyiac has less stuff obviously.

They find out that it's one horse per family for the time being, because of the shortages, so they have to share a horse.

They end up with a horse called Cynthia who likes Hadrian a lot and who Hadrian loves in turn.

Cynthia and reader have a love hate relationship lol.

(Reader has never handled a horse before but Hadrian has handled many that's probably something to do with it.)

So now they get to travel on a horse, with Hadrian sitting in between the reader's legs for hours and feeling their breath on his neck lol.

He likes it a bit too much but won't admit it.

They stop on the river crossing because Hadrian needed a toilet break and end up having their lunch there.

They talk about what Hadrian is going to do when he gets home. He says that he'll just stay in the palace probably, that he doesn't want to risk leaving again.

Reader can't understand that viewpoint and calls it a fancy cage. They love travelling and being free so they don't relate. They bring up the dance show and ask Hadrian if he never wants to see anything like that again? They bring up the new food he's tried and ask if he wants to never try street food again?

Hadrian is conflicted but tells them to drop it.

They have a Romantic Moment™ before continuing on.

It's a three day trip to Anaret.

They end up having dinner in another tavern inn and they meet a couple who are very lovey dovey and friendly.

Hadrian and reader have to pretend to be a married couple to avoid stigma for Hadrian being pregnant.

They pretend for the entire night to be married and the omega in the other couple asks so many personal questions that Hadrian finds deeply embarrassing. It's starting to fluster him a lot so reader steps in to help him and the other alpha says something about how close and cute their relationship obviously is, to the embarrassment of both of them.

They share a bed to keep up the façade.

Reader has a dream where they end up married for real and feels strange about it.

Day two passes without incident, but on day three they enter the city of Anaret.

Hadrian is very excited to be home, reader feels confused, but pushes it down to be happy for Hadrian.

They decide not to stop for lunch and push forward to get to the palace.

When they get to the gates, Hadrian has to reveal himself to the guards to be let in. The guards fetch the older prince to verify that it's his brother standing at the gates.

They have a tearful reunion, but something isn't right.

Hadrian's brother was blinded in the explosion that day he was kidnapped. And it turns out Hadrian's father died while he was away, but they are keeping it a secret from the public.

With the king unable to rule, and the elder brother being unpopular with the people due to his new blindness, the fact that the younger prince was kidnapped 'under his watch', and tbh the older brother has been using all the supplies to find the younger brother rather than helping the people so, the only one that could theoretically take the throne peacefully (a.k.a without the anger of the people or nobles) is Hadrian.

But Hadrian is pregnant with a bastard. This will not be looked upon kindly.

Seeing as the news from the people that saw reader and Hadrian enter the palace has spread, the only believable lie is that Hadrian was recused by reader, fell in love while they were travelling home and got married and fell pregnant on the route. They could argue that the marriage was from a travelling religious man or something, so it's valid, but they'll need to get remarried because they don't have proof. The people shouldn't be angry about that though.

So, to keep the peace in the royal family and te country. Reader and Hadrian have to get married.

Reader is not happy about it.

End of Book 1

#oc hadrian cullermay #omegaverse #a/b/o #alpha!reader #gn reader #hcs #original writing

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goodmorningnona · 1 month

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can i ask what you're withdrawing from? no matter what substance it's so hard. wishing you a smoother ride <3

Like, everything, dude. It was bad. I wasn't planning on being specific about it but like, that was just out of shame and shame is for losers which I am decidedly not, so. Long post incoming, and a lot of information you didn't ask for. I know so, so many people who say that they use too much of their substance of choice and have tried and failed to stop that I just felt the need to really elaborate... plus, it serves as a reminder for me as to why I'm quitting.

Right now I'm struggling with coke withdrawal because I caved literally the day after I started trying to get sober (my roommate gave me a talk about the possibility of transference to worse shit shortly after I declared cold turkey, and well... Sorry if you're reading this, nawee, you were right and I'm trying and I very quickly learned and I'm sorry for being too scared to tell you).

Everyone where I live does coke like drinking fucking water and it's super normalized if you go to bars or parties or clubs or like, fucking anywhere really. Always wanted to try it, did that a year ago, NOPE. Not even once. Don't fuck with coke, kids. Especially when it's so available. And don't be naïve and say you just need to hang out with "the right people" because this can happen to ANYBODY. One moment of hedonistic indulgence and you're fucked.

And that's without the coke being cut with fent, which... mine might've been, man, I've had coke cravings before but never anything this bad. I was being stupid and snorted coke from someone I don't know because I was down for anything because my brain was just screaming at me (if you know what OCD thoughts feel like, drug cravings feel a lot like that). I dunno what a speedball feels like because I'm not a coke connesieur--that's me with weed and shrooms--so I really don't know what I took, and that's like harm reduction 101- know what you're taking, and who you're getting it from. I should also note, I don't even fucking like coke, it was just there so my brain said "why not" (which is generally my attitude to free drugs, which is very very bad).

Anyway, so on to what else was the problem! Why did I need to get sober to start with? Well, I was smoking enough weed that I started to puke every time I did it, and then I greened out in class (see why no one here can know who I am in the academic world?). That was when I realized I had a problem. I was smoking so much weed before class because, to quote the post I literally made just before making this decision: "ive experienced such vile antisemitism in my queer studies class this year that im [...] going to class high...", which essentially amounts to "I am so afraid I need to not feel in order to function." I have no idea if I had anyone in that class fooled as to why I was so fucked up, but I did feign food poisoning after I left the classroom to lie on the cold tile of the public university bathroom and a woman saw me lying there over a toilet and asked if I was okay. The moment I lied was the moment I noticed something was very deeply wrong and had been for a while. I was so sick I considered taking myself to hospital. When I started coming to after coming home and passing out for hours, I remembered why I started doing drugs to start with: they're fun. This wasn't fun anymore.

But with weed, man, I've been smoking weed since I was 15. There was just nothing else to do in my hometown. I never smoked much, and I always knew what I liked because I've been smoking pot for over a decade. I don't even really like weed highs that much; literally it is just something to do when you're bored. Another rule of doing drugs "safely" (there is no safe way to do drugs, only safe-r ways) is don't do them because you're bored or sad or avoiding something etc. I was all three of those things, plus just trying to feel anything but the constant stress and fear. Did I realize something was wrong when my grandpa offered me weed and I felt so relieved to just get high after being sober the whole trip? No, of course not.

So then we can talk about the fact that I was getting nearly blackout drunk twice a week. Genuinely, I'd been trying to drink less prior to this. I had started having really bad stomach problems every time I drank especially wine, so I was trying to cut down (fun fact, this was likely a result from drinking too much in the first place, and I'm very glad I listened to my body). The problem? I don't back down from a challenge. I'll chug anything. If I'm drunk enough, I'm the challenger. I'm the guy who finishes people's drinks because they "know I can" and get me to drink more. Don't even get me started on the fact that people love giving me free drinks for being charming and talented (I... I wish I was kidding but that's just what I've been told). But basically, I see drinking like a competition, and I have two separate friend circles who like to go out every week, ergo, getting properly shitfaced twice a week. Luckily because I had been cutting back, alcohol is the least of my problems right now, it's more the social element that's dangerous and I need to be changing where and how I hang out with people, too. Fun fact: I can drink alone because I don't actually like being drunk (another pro tip- if you don't like how something feels, maybe don't do it!), I just think beer tastes nice, so I'll have one with a meal once in like a literal blue moon (haha... ha. Get it.) Another scary story for you, a friend of mine who is virtually a drinking buddy (red flag #1 and, list of relationships I need to change) and I were drinking at her house (red flag #2) and she invited a new person to introduce me to after taking us outside to smoke a buncha pot (substances in my body at this point: 2) and some cigarettes (substances: 3, red flag #3). I don't even like being crossfaded literally at all (I don't like being drunk or weed high so??? Why would I do this??? The answer is addiction but we're getting to that). I was already very drunk, and beginning to get nauseated from the weed thanks to my new problem when the usually-pleasant dizziness of cigarettes kicked in as we took the lift up to my friend's apartment. My introduction to this new person she was having me meet was me excusing myself to throw up in the bathroom at like 4pm on a Sunday. There is a time and a place, and this was not it.

So let's take a tally: so far, we're at three substances, with two left to go.

Cigarettes. I've learned a lot of people don't even think of them as a drug, which is kind of fucking insane, considering... well, everything about them. I started smoking a little over a year ago because I always thought I'd like it (we'll get into some mild pathology shortly), then continued because it was fun and accessible, and then by October I was smoking more and more because of unavoidable stress (gee I wonder what happened in October that could've caused that!). I was smoking so much that I was smoking through having the fucking FLU and while marching myself to the urgent care for tamiflu I chainsmoked so much I puked in the urgent care for what I lied and told them was "unrelated to why I was there." I only starting smoking more after that. Now, I've never been a pack-a-day type, but once I'd hiked my way up to smoking five a day and feeling absolutely nothing from it--just doing "maintenance"--I wanted to smoke less so it could become fun again. I should also note that I did restrict myself in some ways with cigarettes, because I wouldn't smoke after like, 8pm unless it was a night out because they made me too wired to sleep. Quitting cigarettes has been the hardest thing (which is what everyone says), but it's even harder because 1) they literally help you quit the harder stuff (another fun fact, cigarettes make you crave alcohol and weed less, I saw it in an NIH study somewhere (I can't find it bc I'm bad at Words to do the Google thing); problem is that conversely drinking makes you want to smoke and smoking makes you need to drink more to feel drunk) and 2) This is the one drug I actually genuinely like, and I don't intend on quitting it fully, I just want to reframe it as a fun thing not a maintenance thing, which is really difficult because see point #1.

And finally, shrooms. These guys genuinely were a good idea, for a while. Seriously- shrooms helped me a lot. I take certain medications which happen to prevent or stop bad trips, so I only ever had a good time... for a while. It helped me work out a lot of emotional stuff. No hangover, would feel great for days after... And then I started doing them everyday because I was in the middle of such a bad bipolar episode that I was either manic or suicidal one minute to the next and totally spiralled out of control. I barely even remember those weeks, I just remember not being able to walk hardly because I was so high, crying myself to sleep because I didn't want to be high anymore, I just wanted to be happy. The thing is about shrooms is that they'll only amplify whatever you've got going on, which I consciously knew, but you're not thinking logically when you're in the middle of a bipolar swing. I tried doing them every other week after that, and eventually stopped entirely when I finally realized it wasn't helping. And yes- I was following microdosing advice, it just super isn't for me. I settled on doing one trip a month, which really did help my mental health for a time, but it was just a bandaid, like any addiction is. Then when I started having my additional addiction issues come to fruition I started taking shrooms to go out, and man, taking shrooms as a party drug is so not the move because they're so wonderfully meditative, but I was taking them just because I had some on hand. You can see where the drug problem was starting to be realized. I still genuinely think shrooms can be great but 1) sparingly 2) in the right environment 3) not as an unsupervised mental health aid (especially if you have bipolar). This period of time was really when I started expressing addictive behaviours in a serious way, I think.

I can spot about sixty different reasons I ended up here. Trauma's a good start. Birth father was a serious addict and so was my mom, and later in life my parents were teetotallers because of it. I straight up just thought drugs seemed like a good time because I got into rave music and metal via scene kid culture in like 2010 (which I am still into those things and god it's not helping). Potential of partying in undergrad dashed by lockdown, saved for graduate school emotional breakdowns. Bipolar disorder. Being an academic should be on the list for things that might make you addiction prone, good lord (and not to mention cigarettes being part od the classic academic and poet aesthetics, both of which I am). I like going clubbing and dancing and raves. And really, I just always knew I'd like drugs, had a bucket list of ways I wanted to experience them, and so when I had the ability to do so, I did. Truthfully though, I don't regret any of this. I got the experiences I wanted, and I'm facing the consequences, but for me, that's part of life; there's no use in regretting your actions having very obvious and predictable consequences, like, once it's done, it's done.

Now I'm in the position of smoking half a cigarette a few times a day so I don't take a shitton of benadryl or literally slit my wrists. Now I say that second part very specifically because cutting is also an addiction, and something I have been trying not to do for most of my entire life. Trauma's a bitch like that, and many other comorbidities. I'd avoided cutting entirely until a couple weeks ago and I scared myself so shitless with it that I did a buncha drugs instead! Holy shit, but like... Better? I guess? Basically, I'm so afraid of the world that I'd rather not experience it at all, but I don't actually want to die, so instead I just have to microdose self-destruction so I can feel in control of the fear. See how that sentence could've been about, say, alcoholism or cutting?

My goal is not to be totally clean forever; I do just really like cigarettes and a good beer occasionally, I just don't want it to be a coping mechanism, I want it to be fun, and I want to be alive.

Thank you and everyone for your kind words recently, it has genuinely made getting through this so much easier.

And yes, I'm seeking professional help.

#this one was a doozy but im so glad you asked anon it was so good to write!#drugs tw #suicide tw #cutting tw #sobriety update #lessons of the hand and the mouth #asks #long post

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ursinetransguy · 3 months

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My autism and therianthropy:

☆I like small spaces. They make me feel safe and help with compression/bodily awareness. I've almost always had a den or a hide away spot for comfort when i was able.

☆I have major sensory processing issues. I often cant tell how big or strong I am. I struggle to keep track of my body and my brain typically overcompensates, making me feel larger than I am.

☆Those sensory issues also play into my hands and feet feeling more paw like.

☆I have always been more socially isolated, both by being singled out and by just being inherently more solitary/self entertained/self sufficient.

☆I do not like the texture of smooth things. I have always preferred nature over any urban environment.

☆My relationship with food has been selective and reward based. I want food that is good for me or comforting and i like it more if i get it myself. I have always had an affinity for foraging and would like to learn to hunt ethically.

☆The way I percieve the world feels bear like to me. I have an inherent sense of curiosity, skittishness, audacity, playfulness, attentiveness, relentlessness, etc.. I am aware that these are human characteristics as well, but my experience with these qualities has always felt different than other's portrayal of them. In other words, I have met plenty of people who can be described like bears but I behave and percieve as one, to an extent where it has been pointed out. Usually by calling me odd or "a bit much" or offputting, but it is noticed nonetheless.

☆I experience all my emotions with my full body. Feeling things is a sensory experience for me. All of my emotional reactions look and feel very similar to that of a bear.

☆Ive leaned heavily on vocal stims for emotional and physical regulation. Mostly grunts and repetative phrases. The grunts are the bear part obviously lol

My trauma and therianthropy:

☆I had to be self sufficient as a kid because my parents didnt take care of me very well and i was not very likable. Not a self deprecation thing, just how my interactions with others went.

☆I struggled with communicating emotions due to home life not really allowing it and it proving useless in school environments.

☆I developed a sense of self defense that is extremely bear like. I stand my ground, look at whatever(whoever) is threatening me, asses the threat, charge, gauge reaction, attack/flee. This pattern developed more fully around 10yrs old. This is when i see myself becoming more of a juvenile bear than a cub. I interacted with a lot of sadistic assholes as a cub. Words meant nothing, fighting back couldve gotten me killed, and intimidation was always safer but i didnt have the tools to be intimidating.

☆I was like a backseat driver in my own head for a long time and kept quiet about a lot. I talked a lot, but not with any real substance. The internal me was silent for a very long time. The most genuine aspect of me is when i am allowed to fully go nonverbal, simply because being genuine and talking are incompatible for me in my head, even if i am talking accurately and emotionally.

☆Intimidtion became a core part of how i cary myself. I am not large but i have been regarded as scary a lot. I do not fight often, but it has been noted by most that i could. In that way i feel like i am percieved as a bear.

☆I was hospitalized a LOT as a teenager and faced a lot of medical malpractice. This very much so solidified my already present discomfort with urban environments and made me crave nature even more.

☆I have always needed a territory. Even if it was just my bed or just a small box that noone else was allowed to touch. The only way to keep anything mine was to get really territorial over a singular spot, even if i let people kick my ass everywhere else, i was safe in my territory. I made sure of it.

#bear therian #actually autistic #therian #trauma #psychological therian

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comvi · 3 months

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this is an eggbug, they are found everywhere and are skittery litttle bitches. They are hunted by like. everything so they have the right to be scared. They can dodge spear throws but arent that smart like a adult noodlefly ^ they are REAL fast but can be killed with a good chase. how do you eat them? well...

Eggs... yummy... eeat the eg... they drop 6 eggs for 6 food pips, however if your hunter they drop 7.... cause you can eat they're body. (good for the carnivore!!) they're bodys cant be eatan by everyone but the eggs can be. The bodys give 0.5 food pips for The lucky star and for some reason (maybe cause they are fat.) restore 3 for the built to last im not even kidding when i said scared of everything look at this:

they are not scared of 2 THINGs. 2. more scared then damn lantern mice!

^ lower color changes.

okay THESE GUYS. ULTIMATE SCARED DOGY (BUG) they get a golden star sticker for this masterpiece of a list of fears. this is unbelievable. they are shaking in their toes & sweating profusely while stuttering chittering noises every single time they put their feet outside

clarification THANK U FOR THE CLARIFICATION!!! i wasnt sure if those were eyes or eggs or something else on their backs so i just said balls. But it actually reminds me of how certain insect species (namely spiders) will carry their young/eggs/nests on their backs until they are old enough to leave!

i like how skittery & fast they are with those long & big ol’ antenna…. runnin all over the place. also this is one enemy i actually feel like if i was a slugcat myself i would enjoy eating. like i wouldnt mind eating these bioluminescent glowing radioactive-looking eggs.

-Sadly i cant do so in this human-vessel WEEP!! i wish i could run after critters all day with my spear & eat weird eggs & bugs. …yearning sobbing its probabky actually horrible but i can imagine… the perfect skugcat world in my mind…

ALSO!!! ALSO BEFORE I FORGET. There is a chance i may be able to start playing rainworld today/very very soon as a ‘gift’ (i have been planning to get it for a few years now, but having you talk to me daily about the critters has been making my brain rot & crave. needed to get my grabby hands on the game..) bcus of this i may postpone/put off the creature talking for a bit since ive been becoming kinda scared of fully-spoiling myself of everything in rainworld now.,, but overall im really really happeeeEEA bout FINALLY getting the chance to play it myself <:033ccc

#+ SOsorry this took so long to answer i was busy + felt HORRIBLE for a bit. Im good now thogh … thumbs up:3 👍🏽✌🏽💝💕🍓☀️ 🌈#asks #myposts

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kquil · 10 months

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I’ve never done a request before so tell me if i do something’s wrong! this is for the picnic event, 🧁 since i’m self centered 🤫.

I love love music my favorite bands are Queen, Kiss and Greta Van Fleet. I only know how to dress in winter and fall and i usually dress in a sort of dark academia style or like a rockstar🫢. My favorite food is Pasta Carbonara. I have a longer pixie cut. I’m short like i’m literally 5’1 (155cm). I’m usually really sarcastic but i have a hard time picking up sarcasm. I have a small collection of records and old tea cups. I like art and i play the bass guitar!

that’s all i can think of sorry if it’s too much or too ramble-y 😅 also take as long as you need you probably get lots of requests so don’t feel rushed or anything

haha! it's healthy to be a little self-centred, don't worry (≧▽≦)

from your description, i can see you as being sirius's equal and since im a wolfstar shipper, im shipping you with remus lupin!

i. he loves your dark academia and rockstar style too, often, in the winter, the two of you end up accidentally wearing matching outfits whenever you decide to wear something dark academia-esque, only remus was the light academia version of your outfit XD

ii. he appreciates your love for music, he commends your immaculate taste and works hard to save up on getting concert tickets for your favourite artists as a date

iii. he loves how short you are because he thinks its a great combination for you to have with your sarcasm - he loves your mind for the way it works, your sarcastic remarks make him laugh often

iv. there was one time where somebody made fun of his scars, something along the lines of 'i can't believe he has scars all over his face, must be hard to attract any of the birds lookin' that hideous' and you remarked 'oh, like your face is any better, Duncan - a mountain troll gets more girls than you' - from that day on, you're his hero

v. he finds your collection of records fun and interesting to look through, he likes listening to them with your permission and he finds your collection of old tea cups something so adorable about you - it's something he doesn't expect but really loves about you

vi. he likes listening to you play the bass guitar while he reads and since he also plays bass guitar in my headcannon of him, whenever he plays his bass guitar, you like to do your art - you two are just very cute like that

vii. sometimes remus would get jealous of how in sync you and sirius are but understands that it's only because you two are just similar in interests and style ⏤ he does get a little clingy to you though, in the most adorable way! he would just wrap around you from behind and bury his face into your hair for attention, sirius would see this, smirk and back off but not before teasing you two 'oh! sorry about that moony! she's all yours! and you be gentle with him okay? moony needs to be treated preciously!'

viii. something really cute is that remus learns how to cook carbonara for you just the way you like it and that ends up being the only thing he knows how to cook, he also memorised all the restaurants that you like the carbonara of so that when you go out, he knows where to go when you're craving it

ix. remus also likes to play with the ends of your hair, the ones that brush against the back of your neck when you're seated between his legs while he reads his book behind you. at least, he tries to read his book, he just finds the little hairs on the back of your neck really adorable and ends up playing with them ⏤ if your neck is sensitive this will trigger a little tickling session that ends with you both laughing

x. he also tries to learn french to that he can understand you and sirius when you're talking smack about slytherins in class, which often makes him chuckle as well, he also learns it so that he can express short romantic phrases to you in french because 'french is the language of love'

xi. honourable mention: i lowkey ship you with James ⏤ i imagine he can't notice sarcasm either so it's an adorable trait you both share so in first meeting, he isn't deterred by your sarcasm at all. he thinks you having short hair is cool but also likes to imagine you with long hair and gushes about how you look good with long and short hair! he doesn't know french but memorises je t'aime to say to you often and he just stares at you dreamily whenever you talk in french like a lovesick fool, even if you could be saying the meanest and nastiest things or screaming angrily at someone in french

#moot : bibi #☀︎ : 1k #remus lupin #james potter #🧁 : cupcake 1k

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transgeoffrickly · 6 months

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thank you! the problem im having is that even though i've been consistently eating enough for two months now (!!) im still hungry basically all the time. i know how that sounds, but i swear i really am eating enough - a couple times ive even tried to just keep eating until i stopped feeling hungry, but it never works. no matter how much i eat, im still hungry. im not sure if im somehow misinterpreting the signals my body's sending, or if i genuinely am constantly being sent hunger cues, even when logically i shouldnt, but either way its kind of driving me insane lol, not to mention complicating the mental/emotional side of the recovery process. is this something you've experienced or heard of before? do you know of any way to fix it?

first thing is i can assure you this is a 100% normal experience!

i'd liken it to sleep debt, if that makes any sense - if you haven't slept properly for months, one night of a solid 8 hours isn't going to undo all of that exhaustion and mental and physical wear. you need more than that 8 baseline hours of sleep, consistently, for a designated period of time, to undo the sleep debt.

the same is going to be true of food after your body has been deprived/forced to compensate/exhausted for months or years at a time. i do believe you that you're eating enough, and i'm very proud you're working on yourself! but it is completely normal that a body that is in an energy deficit is going to be hungrier than one that never experienced that.

hunger cues in ed recovery are wonky for the majority of us! you're not doing anything wrong here. it's a natural part of compensating for months or years of some level of malnutrition.

as for fixing it, i think it's a combination of time and employing some strategies in the meanwhile while your nutrition catches up.

there is the principle of the satisfaction factor at play - basically, there is much to be said for eating the foods you are craving when you're craving them. you can eat enough calorically but still feel deprived if WHAT you're eating isn't what you actually WANT. you're going to feel better and more satisfied eating the cake or the ice cream when you want it than ALWAYS grabbing the protein bar, even if the calories come out the same.

another thing i'd look into is whether you're consistently getting all 3 macronutrients in. sometimes people are eating enough calorically, but they're still afraid of fat or carbs and are kind of meeting their calorie needs while tiptoeing around that fear. the fact is that you need all 3 macronutrients for optimal health and indeed also for satiety. evaluate honestly with yourself whether you're perhaps running low on a macronutrient group - without judgment! recovery is a long and complex process. it's not your fault if this is something that's still hard for you. just evaluate, be honest with yourself, and work on it if applicable.

keep an eye on your activity levels - maybe as you're progressing in recovery you're going back to work or just leaving the house more, taking on more chores, etc. this comes with more physical activity, even if it's not formal exercise. and the body wants to account for increased physical activity by getting in more nutrients - by making you hungrier. the key is to listen and not be ashamed of it. it is okay to want, need, have, and enjoy more food.

beyond that, consistency and time are key. your hunger cues will regulate when your body is physically healthy and knows it can trust you to fuel it properly. that takes time, and i know it gets frustrating, but you're not doing anything wrong. hunger is not shameful. you are allowed to eat. you are allowed to eat more when you want to. you are allowed to eat what you want and not always the "healthier" alternative. your body will learn to trust you to take care of it again - you just have to prove to it that you will!

#e.answers #anon

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heartscrypt · 1 year

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hhi. stray cat has returned. and i am in dire need of knowledge. what do the leech twins think about cyrus. im not sure if this was expanded on but i need 2 know

SO GLAD U ASKED STRAY CAT ANON!!!! ive been thinkin bout it lotsss. hehehehe

CANON CHARACTER THOUGHTS ON CYRUS: LEECH TWINS EDITION

"Eeeh? Nishikigoi-chan? Ahaha~ he's funny! It's annoying when she gets all fussy, though. He doesn't know when to quit when I tell him I don't wanna do stuff. Ugh... for a shallow lil' pond fishie, she can be so pushy..."

"Why're you even asking what I think about Floyd, smallfry? Haaah.. guess I got nothing better to do but answer you. He's entertaining, I guess, when he's not being a dead weight. Hm hm hm~ I like how he bites back. Too many Octavinelle fry walk around with no spine, you know, so it's nice to see someone in the dorm with guts."

okay so first up. floyd. floyd and cyrus are really similar actually. in terms of like. Priorities (aka they both have none and just do whatever the fuck they want). cyrus only hangs around people that entertain her because she craves constant stimuli like. all the time. and floyd def fits that bill so. they enable each other to do things that will eventually make azuls hair fall out from stress probably.

doesn't mean they're always on the best terms though. when floyd's mood swings he finds cyrus annoying and in turn cyrus finds Him to be a drag when he's not hyperactive. they are very much fair weather friends. when they can stand to be around each other, they are collectively a menace to society. when they can't stand to be around each other, they are.... still menaces to society but in a much different way.

"Oh, you've encountered Cyrus-san. It seems he enjoys toying with his food.. ahem, that is to say-- he's quite the playful person, isn't he? Heheh. It's a shame that she refuses to join the Mountain Lovers club ... He does seem to enjoy the anecdotes from my trips, but I haven't yet been able to convince him to come enjoy the beauty of nature with me. Oh, but it'll happen one day. I'm sure."

"Hm? What am I drinking? Wouldn't you like to know... aw, darling fry, don't look so spooked. It's only something Jade brewed up for me. Ahaha! Oh, your face looks so stupid all scrunched up like that. Of course I don't know what Jade's put in this. That's the exciting bit, you know. ... Though if he's put a paralyzing agent in this one again, I'll pour herbicide in his new terrarium, and he knows it. Paralysis is so last week."

secondly. jade. honestly, cyrus prefers jade's company over floyd's. they have tea together because cyrus is pretty much the only person who will listen to jade talk about mountains and mushrooms. as someone who likes to explore herself. he does get bored if jade starts going into too much detail about the natural wonder of the mountains or whatever. also not a big fan of hiking like jade is so she refuses to go on hikes w jade. he'd rather sit n listen to the other tell stories.

... also cyrus is the only one willing to try jades mushroom concoctions as Long as jade disguises the taste of it. because as weird as it is she's a huge thrillseeker who can't stand a moment feeling bored and if jade wants to Mildly poison her it's better than. idk. Not being poisoned and sitting still with nothing to do.

#twst #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland #heartscreations #cyrus de seirene #txt post #in conclusion theyre all freaks and they make everyone's lives around them hell #the coral sea is small so realistically they shouldve encountered her once as kids #but with cyrus's living situation she wouldn't have seen much of Anyone outside her immediate circle so #thats my excuse for why they didn't know each other before nrc

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