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#ive got like 10 just at the top of my head
coolnonsenseworld · 6 months
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Happy Halloween 🎃 Happy HEX 💜
linktr.ee/mezzy
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gibbearish · 8 hours
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are we really back to "oh you support (blank)? name ten people who (do/are) that right now or else youre lying for allyship points and everything you have to say should be disregarded". i thought we left that back in like. 2012 misogynist nerdbro culture
#i have seen it on two entirely separate topics lately and its like. hello?????#'if you cant name 10 trans authors off the top of your head you shouldnt be talking about trans issues full stop.#i dont think thats an unreasonable expectation for anyone wanting to engage in rational discourse' how about we all go outside#because like yeah i couldnt name you too many trans authors but given my transgenderismness i think i do in#fact still deserve a seat at the table. and i dont think there should be a prerequisite academic education level to be allowed to talk.#'but you could find them for free-' yes‚ you can‚ but people should still be allowed to a) choose what they read based#off of what interests them and not mildly-to-extremely dense nonfiction writing and still Talk About Their Own Lives And Have#Opinions#shockingly not reading a lot of one specific type of author doesnt prevent a person from having reasonable and valuable opinions#if youre not capable of parsing someones argument because theyre not well-read enough then that just imo means you dont actually understand#the things youve read to be able to give them a synopsis#this isnt school. we're not being graded. there is no required reading and you are perfectly capable of giving people an#explanation on your stances if theyre unfamiliar with them#i had a b) but i dont remember what it was‚ i think it probably was part of what i covered there that i thought was a separate thought#but yeah just like. idk you can just say 'hey i would really recommend reading xyz but to summarize‚ (thing that disproves them)'#it is not . difficult to either Explain yourself or‚ if that is not possible‚ Not be condescending to the person youre not willing to teach#for not knowing#ill stop there bc ive already done that ramble before but. yes#origibberish#edit: ok upon reread i got turned around and switched from addressing the less educated one conveying their arguments#to the more well read one#bc that was the b is i was gonna talk about both#yall get what i mean though just like. split it in half and flip it turnways
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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crustuu · 1 year
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Anyways "it gets better" it fucking better improve soon man idk how much I have left in me.
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sanchoyo · 1 year
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my dog turned 14 the other day!!! 14 years old in human years... I've had him since he was a pubby and hes 14... woaw....🥺
#i thought abt it too hard and im choked up now KJHSDKF MY SPECIAL LITTLE OLDMAN GUY.....MY BABY OLD. BENJBUTTON DOG. precious fuzzy man#he desperately needs a haircut i gotta call the vet tomorrow aaaugh ive been procrastinating abt it but hes SOO shaggy#i hate getting him cut in the winter bc i feel BAD if hes nakey bc its COLD outside. but i dont want him to be so shaggy he gets matted...#and his fur is curly fluffy so i dont wanna hurt him by trying to comb/brush it out yk?#aside from like using my fingers very gently#id say hes doing great for his age tho tbh#hes got mild cataracts and i think hes deaf but hes got 6 teeth which according to my vet is IMPRESSIVE for his age#and like hes healthy otherwise :") he luvs getting the good wet food now bc of the teeth situation#idk i know hes old and it makes me sad to think abt too much but hes doing ok according to the vet who i trust more than my own judgement#there rly isnt anything to be done abt him losing his hearing BUT hes so smart he picks up on hand signals so#he knows what gesture means walkies or food time :) or 'yes u can hop up on the couch with me' hand pat#my cat has started picking up on the hand signals too which is funny#guy whos nonverbal sometimes accidentally teached both their pets animal sign language <-#sanchoyorambles#anyway i wanna ask the vet to do another general checkup even tho he just had one a few months ago bc i am Paranoid JKDFHKJ#top 10 reasons i need to get a job asap . i am trying not to stress abt it but#aaaugh its been difficult and bad job hunting and the idea of calling ppl too late has paraylsed me with fear#i just gotta do it ;__; gun to my own head hollering atmyself to put the phone to my ear and hit call#holding myself hostage at this point bc being gentle is NOT fuckin working SDHFHSKJ#this time of year is always bad brain time tho i need to power thru the anxiety and various Episodes and Attacks#i Bleive in myself....
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scar-lie · 3 months
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OMEGA PT. 9 [Natasha]
Summary : Y/N finally wakes up
Pairing : Alpha ! Natasha Romanoff x Omega ! Reader
Warning : Mention of blood
Word count : 1,498
No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.
{OMEGA PT. 8} {OMEGA PT.9} {OMEGA PT. 10}
No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.
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Natasha decided to sleep in the room to guard her pups and Y/N for 3 days now. She refuses to leave their side as much as possible. She will leave in a few minutes and make sure that someone she trusts will watch them, if necessary.
Now Natasha is currently lying on the sofa, peacefully sleeping. Her left leg is up to the top of the sofa, and her right arm is across from her eyes, shielding her eyes until she hears a giggle that makes her open her eyes and smile.
She stands up and goes to her two pups, who're like talking to each other and giggling; this makes Natasha's hearts melt, kissing their foreheads.
“You're so bubbly today, huh? ”Natasha giggles when her pups answer her with a giggle while looking at her.
“Yeah, you're both happy this morning; how's your sleep, my little princes? Did you sleep well? ”Natasha nods her head while her pups continue giggling at her.
But her smile fades when she thinks of her other pup. She looks at the side where her daughter is, still in the incubator and sleeping peacefully with a steady heartbeat.
“And how was my princess? ”Natasha went to her pup, carefully caressing her cheeks. 
“My strong, beautiful princess,” Natasha whispered, smiling while admiring her pup. Then an idea popped into her mind when she heard a giggle again.
“You two want to see your baby sister? ”She looks at her sons, going back again, not caring anymore if she hurts them or crashes them in her arm.
The only thing on her mind now is to cradle them on her arm and sit beside their sister to interact with because she read, and Dr. Cho told her that it's good and will help her health when there's interaction between them.
Natasha smiles when they coo and start to reach for her. In Natasha's mind, their little arms are so cute while they are trying to reach her.
But on the other side, Y/N’s heart started to race when she saw Natasha reaching for her babies, her pups, and even though she herself knows that she's not capable of fighting now, she tries, standing on her wobbly legs and proceeding to walk forward while her head is pulsing from pain and her ears are ringing.
“Don't you...fucking dare... touch my pups.” Natasha looks at Y/N, shocked and happy that she's awake, but worry quickly runs through her veins, seeing Y/N’s heart beat start to rise and the fact that she's detaching every single thing that's attached to her, making the needle spot bleed.
So Natasha quickly retreated her hand from one of her pups to try to catch Y/N, but once she got close to her, her nails quickly came across her right check, which made a small scratch.
This makes Natasha stumble back, making way for Y/N to go forward towards her pups. She quickly stands guard to protect them from nearby danger, and it hurts Natasha to know—or realize—that she's the nearby danger from your point of view.
“Hey, it's ok, I’m not going to take them. Please calm down and go back to bed. You're still weak and need to heal first,” Natasha said cautiously, showing her hand to you and indicating that she's no harm.
“Liar, I'm not a fool; take one step and I’ll slit your throat.” You threaten, holding on through the near wall because her legs are giving up under the weight of her body.
“I swear, please let me just h-” you quickly shut her up, throwing the IV holder that's sitting next to you, and thank god that there's no IV bag hanging there.
“Leave before I end you! ”You growl, and Natasha doesn't have a choice but to nod, putting her hands up again while backing away, making you relieved with each step backwards she takes until she's in the door.
She looked up to you, seeing you sitting on the floor, getting hard to breathe, and you just looked so pale, so weak, and so vulnerable, but still, you're standing up for your pups, making her worry for your health, so without another word, she quickly got out to get Cho.
Her walk turns into a walk run until she's running around the halls to find Cho, but also cursing at the lack of her presence around the halls of the medbay, so one thing she could be—at Tony’s and Bruce Lab—so she quickly took an elevator to go to the common room.
“Oh Nat, glad to see you!” but Wanda got cut off and Yelena quickly on the red heads tale. Seeing her uneasy, nervous, and reckless makes Yelena worry something happens.
“Not now, Wanda.” Before Natasha could take a step down the stairs that lead to Tony and Bruce Lab, Yelena snatched her arm, turning the redhead's body. 
“What is going on? What happened? ”Yelena, look at the distressing redhead who nearly wants to cry because of happiness that you finally are awake and sad and hurt because of how you react to her and also worried.
“It's Y/N; she's awake and not in good shape; I need to get Cho.” Yelena was also happy, as was Wanda when she heard what Nat said, and they were also worried.
“What are you waiting for? Run down to the lab; Cho is with Tony.” Yelena pushes her sister gently, so Natasha quickly runs down the lab while Yelena and Wanda rush to the medbay.
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Dr. Cho can't completely examine you because every time they enter your room, you quickly guard your pups, not trusting anyone from them.
And you know you're weak and vulnerable, but you refuse to show it. You endure every stinging pain you feel around your body, especially on your lower part from your lower belly down.
You don't trust anyone anymore; you've learned the hard way, and you will never let anyone hurt you and your pups anymore. You wouldn't let it happen anymore.
“What are we going to do? ”Bruce asked Cho stress while they look at you through the mirror, battling their own to think what to do before things get worse.
There's no written document in history on how to tend a person who's battling death through breaking bonds, and they didn't fully know how their experiments were working or how to 100% use them.
“I’d say sedate her, but we can't even come near her, and there's no IV attached to her anymore,” Cho mumbled, biting her lips while tapping her shoes on the floor.
"Well, maybe we can shoot her? ”Tony interrupts the two, looking at your fragile body, which's still on the floor besides your pups.
“How? And she's not an animal to tranquilize her.” Bruce, shoot back to Tony, not liking the idea because he himself experienced it too and he didn't like it.
“We didn't have a choice; look at her. She will knock down any seconds now, and we don't know if she will wake up again.” Tony whispered, shouting, and Cho nodded, agreeing to the idea.
“It's not necessary, plus if she wakes up this time, she will again.” Cho wants to stop their battering of each other, but each time she tries to, one of them will throw words at another. 
And the team is anxious outside your door, and their battering didn't help ease their worry or fear for your health, especially the two Russian
“Can you please stop talking about her like that? She's in the fucking room right in front of us, and you two fighting over a nonsense matter will not help tend to her health,” Natasha snapped, glaring at them.
“Cho do it, please; she's getting weaker and weaker every second,” Natasha whispers, biting her lips as much as she finds it cruel and unfair on your side. There's no other choice on the plate at the moment.
Cho quickly ordered her staff to get what she needed, and once Cho got what she needed, she turned around to look at the team.
“One of you should do it; I am no good at aiming,” she gently and softly said while extending the sedating gun.
Everyone looks at each other, waiting for someone to volunteer, not wanting to do it by themselves. This makes Cho sigh, then extend his hand to Clint.
“Oh no, I can't…I-I…please.” Clint got cut off when Tony stood up and gently took the sedating gun with deep breaths.
“I suggest it, so I should be the one to do it.” All eyes are on Tony.
“Better have a good aim, Tony, or I’ll be the one shooting you if you mess this up,” Natasha and Yelena threaten him, making him shudder in fear.
“I got this, plus I don't want two Russians hunting my ass,” Tony mumbled, but the two were able to hear it, making them glare at him.
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oizysian · 3 months
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IV. ALL THAT YOU LOVE
All Eyes on Me masterlist
Word count: 1.5k
It was early in the afternoon when I heard my phone go off. I groaned, the sun blinding me as I turned over and opened my eyes, trying to locate my phone. I reached over to the coffee table in front of me and grabbed for it, falling off the pullout couch I was laying on as I did so.
"Fuck." I let out a groan, grabbing at my shoulder and sitting up.
After rubbing the temporary hurt, I picked up the phone and checked who was texting me.
???: Hey, Y/N! It's Lizzie! Do you still wanna meet up for lunch? I know a cute little bistro by your hotel if you're interested. Let me know, okay?
It took me a moment to register what I was seeing before realizing that it was Elizabeth texting me about our lunch date. No, stupid, not a date - she's married, stop that.
I checked the time, nearly 10:30am. I sighed and sat up against the couch, eyeing the bed where Brie was still asleep. What was I gonna do about her? Maybe I'd bring her some food back if she wasn't up by the time I was ready to leave.
With a little bit of a struggle, I got up from the floor, my body stiff and my head still spinning a little bit. Even though I had way less to drink than Brie did, I still had a little bit of a hangover. She was gonna have the worst headache of her life when she woke up.
I went into the bathroom, splashing some water on my face to wake myself up. This was the day I'd been waiting for forever. The woman who I had the biggest crush in the world on, who I had just met last night, was meeting me for lunch. I had to be on the top of my game.
I brushed my teeth and got dressed, deciding on a simple outfit, not much different than the one I wore the night prior. I took two aspirin and a glass of water and placed it on the nightstand next to the bed on the side closest to Brie so that when she woke up, she'd see it and maybe it would lessen her hangover. Maybe.
As I was putting on my shoes, my phone went off again. It was Elizabeth letting me know she was downstairs. Okay, this was it. I could do this.
I took a deep breath and collected my belongings. I looked back at Brie to see if she had woken up and when I was absolutely sure she was still asleep, I left, closing the door behind myself as quietly as I possibly could.
I nearly ran down the hall towards the elevator, beyond excited to be meeting Elizabeth fucking Olsen for lunch. I got in the elevator, wringing my hands nervously as I quickly approached the lobby.
Don't say something stupid, don't say something stupid.
I held my breath as the doors opened. I stepped out, discreetly looking around for her as I exited the building.
"Y/N! Hey!" I heard a feminine voice call me and I turned to see Elizabeth waving at me just a few feet away from where I was standing.
"Hey." I greeted her back, walking up to her and only being slightly surprised at the giant hug she gave me as a hello.
"I'm so glad you decided to have lunch with me before you left for New York."
"How could I say no?" I smiled at her and she linked her arm with my own, leading me down the street.
I looked down at our arms interlocked and I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest. This closeness was a lot to take in.
"This place makes the best sandwiches and the coffee is to die for. Do you like coffee?" She asked me and I nodded.
"Iced mostly, but I drink it."
"Me too. I love iced coffee. And smoothies. Pretty much anything cold. Especially ice cream."
"I love ice cream." I smiled at her enthusiasm, wondering where she got all this energy from so early in the day.
"What's your favorite flavor?"
"Hm ... jamoca almond fudge. A Baskin Robbins exclusive. What's yours?"
"Pumpkin. Or caramel crunch. With toffee."
"Pumpkin?" I make a face. "Yuck. Absolutely yucky."
"No!" She cried out, tugging on my arm. "You have to try it! There's a place in the east village that has the absolute best pumpkin flavored ice cream!"
"I'm not sure how I feel about pumpkin flavored anything." I chuckled, watching as she pouted at my words.
"Please, just once! Come with me to get pumpkin ice cream, you won't regret it, I promise."
I looked at her for a split second and nodded, giving in rather easily. Even though the thought and idea of pumpkin flavored ice cream disgusted me to my very core, I would try it for her.
"Next time you're in New York we can try it."
"Yes!" She cheered, bouncing slightly on her toes as we continued to walk.
Before I had a chance to respond we had arrived at our destination. She led me inside and spoke to the hostess, confirming her reservation and she led us to a secluded table outside where we got comfortable and started looking at the menu.
"Everything sounds so good." I murmured to myself, flipping between the lunch section and the drinks.
"This is what I recommend."
She pointed out a few items and I hesitantly chose one that she picked out, wanting to try something new but afraid of my pickiness getting in the way.
"You'll love it. The chicken here is so good."
"I trust you, Elizabeth. I know you won't steer me wrong."
"Call me Lizzie. People only call me Elizabeth in a professional sense."
"Okay. I trust you, Lizzie."
She smiled brightly at me and I nervously took a sip of my water. Damn, why did she have to be so cute.
"So, tell me more about your video games."
"I can only tell you about how much I love them, 'cos that's all I know."
She giggled, resting her chin in her hand and leaning her elbow on the table.
"Are video games all that you love?"
I blushed slightly, shaking my head at her words.
"No, I love other things too."
"Oh? Like what?"
You.
"Sleeping. I sleep a lot."
"Mm, I wish I could say that." She looked at me for a moment before speaking again. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
I shook my head.
"Girlfriend?"
I shook my head again.
"I'm very single. I haven't had a girlfriend for quite a few years."
She nodded at my words and leaned back in her seat when the waiter arrived to take our order. She waited for them to leave before striking up the conversation again.
"You seem really close to Brie." She was no longer looking at me, her attention now on the glass of water in front of her. "Do you guys ... like each other?"
What an odd question. I took a moment to think about it before answering her. Did I like Brie? Of course I did, but did I want to date her? I mean, maybe if I had met her before knowing about the existence of Elizabeth. I had a huge crush on her and despite the fact that I had only just met her, I got butterflies when she was around and I just didn't feel that way about Brie.
"Not like that. On my end, at least. I can't speak for Brie."
She nodded in understanding, taking a sip of her water.
"I would've guessed differently from the way you were both acting yesterday."
"Yeah, I know." I smiled slightly. "We're just really good friends. We have a lot of the same interests and she's a really great person to hang out with."
"Maybe I should get to know her more myself." She spoke and I nodded.
"You could always play video games with us. We could teach you Mario Kart."
"Oh, I love Mario! I wanna play as Princess Peach."
"I usually play as baby Daisy. Brie seems like a Dry Bones kinda guy."
"Dry Bones?" She questioned and I realized that she probably hadn't played any Mario games with the newer characters in them.
"We gotta catch you up with Mario lore." I laughed and she scrunched up her nose in amusement.
"I think that'll be fun."
We ate our lunch, chatting about nothing and everything. She insisted on paying and I let her, but only after she promised she'd let me pay when she came to visit New York. I bought Brie something small to eat and we left, her arm linked with mine once again as we made our way back to the hotel.
BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS
Elizabeth Olsen was seen having lunch with a mystery woman today. Sources say the duo met last night at the most recent Marvel afterparty.
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Elizabeth, seen here, enjoyed lunch and spoke animatedly throughout the meal.
EDIT: Sources say the mystery woman is Twitch streamer Y/N, known as y/n_gaymergod on the internet.
@oh-thats-cute @marvelwomen-simp
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itz-purge · 24 days
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vessel's pre-venue jitters [nsfw - gn!reader]
-had to pause writing my lewis fic cause i listen to sleep token while i write and had a wicked idea pop into my head. now i can't stop thinking about vessel having mad anxiety before a show and the reader, who's also in the band, helping him calm down-
(i did not plan this out, i wrote it all on the spot, i just needed to get this out of my brain - i'm still prioritising my lewis fic)
word count: 886
cw: nsfw, swearing, sub!vessel, dom!reader, oral sex (m!recieving), reader's anatomy is not mentioned, no use of y/n, first fic posted! - author doesn't know what else to put here????
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god i want him to mount me like thatfjsgtrwdsgvfyuiuh
you were a part of the band and served as a second guitarist next to iv, and you were always quite close to vessel - in ways that the others would always tease you about. although, you kept assuring them that there was nothing between you both, even when you used little petnames with each other.
you were searching for vessel right before a show to seek validation for a quirky idea you had about a little something you could do on stage. you never made rash decisions on the spot for fear you'd mess up the performance, very unlike the others.
you find vessel, still in one of the dressing rooms behind stage rather than getting ready to go out and perform.
you then notice that he's facing away from and has got his head against the wall, muttering small things to himself, and shaking slightly.
you approach to ask him what's wrong, to which he jumps a little, clearly not expecting you of all people to find him here.
"just... gimme a minute... get out there, i'll follow later..."
you're not having it. you make him sit down and notice the light sheen of sweat on his neck, which is already testing the integrity of the black body paint coating his skin. and he hasn't even done all his little dancey dances yet!
you ask him again what's up with him, kneeling down in front of him to appear less intimidating. he simply sighs. his shaky hands reach for yours, searching for that anchor to ground himself.
"just a bit nervous, love..." he mumbled as his hands interlocked with yours. "dunno why..."
you do your best to comfort him but none of your words seem to work, he always has a negative thought step in and frustratingly deflect your consolation with it's iron shield of self-deprecation.
as the time ticks quickly and you've now likely just less than 10 minutes before you have to go out on stage, and you definitely can't let him go out there like this. you need to release his tension somehow.
it's in this moment when you abandon your value of not making rash, on-the-spot decisions.
you slip your hands out from his, roll your mask up just above your nose, and begin make quick work of his belt, which ultimately made him panic a bit more.
"shit- w-what are you doing?!" he tried to stop you, but you simply swatted his hands away and began to shimmy his pants down his thighs.
you shushed him, telling him to just lay back and focus on the sensations. you assured him that you'd ease his nerves.
was it his fault that he trusted you?
he definitely goes commando under the costume, fucking fight me, i will die on this hill. he's also like 7-8 inches, yet you still believe you can take him all when you watch the length of it roll out like a red carpet.
you feasted on both his fat cock and the little moans you illicit out of him with stripe you lick up his long shaft, enticed as you witness him go from soft to rock hard after mere moments of you touching him.
your hand rested on his thigh while your other was tenderly fondling his balls as you suckled on his swollen, leaky tip. it was a struggle for him to keep quiet, who knows who could be lurking outside the unlocked door of the dressing room.
he could probably pass it off as him practicing his vocals should anyone have heard him.
his hand came up to nest on top of your head, gripping at the fabric of your mask as you slowly begin to take an inch of him into your mouth.
he struggles not to buck up and fuck the ever-living shit out of your throat.
you make quick work of him, taking as much of him in as you can, wasting no time in sucking him off. he softly whimpers out your name.
he finishes quickly with a loud stifled moan, you made it hard for him not to when you're bobbing up and down on his length like that, your tongue flattened, and your cheeks hollowed to optimise his pleasure.
he shoots his fat load deep down your throat, you swallow it all gratefully. your mouth pops off his cock, which is beginning to soften as he pants. he's certainly a lot calmer now.
however, he doesn't know if he could look at you the same while performing without getting hard again.
you may have eased his nerves but what have you done to his mind?
he tucks himself back into his pants, you pull your mask back down over the bottom half of your face, and you both leave the dressing room without uttering any words to each other.
vessel has a bit of a haze clouding his head while you regroup with the rest of the band, who are definitely smirking at you both for being gone until last second.
"you two snogging back there, or what?" iii teased you, making ii and iv giggle.
vessel was a little embarrassed, but he ignored it, finding comfort in the fact that they didn't exactly what it was that you two were doing.
you simply told them to get fucked as you all began to flood onto stage.
hey, hoped you enjoyed this! i haven't read it over, i wrote it all on the spot and am now posting it. please let me know if you have any icks or recommendations on how to make this better!
thank you for reading!
-leo :3
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aquaquadrant · 26 days
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I was wondering if you had an estimated date of when you will post the next HTP chapter?
Like, leaving us on such a cliffhanger must be a crime! It cant be legal!
Anyways, while I wait for it, Ive decided to copy paste every chapter into a doc and mark it up color code style for all my over analyzing needs. It took me an hour but it was worth it.
Have a good week and take care :)
(This is meant to be genuine, not mean or passive aggressive, just so you know. While I indeed am anxiously awaiting Chapter 10 by highlighting the chapters on a doc like that one photo of a bible page that’s highlighted with different colors. This isn’t meant to be mean or pressuring, take your time and take care of yourself)
⬆️(Ah poo, Im an over thinker
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hey there, no worries y’all- i love seeing my reader’s enthusiasm and it’s reassuring to see continued interest in the series. i’d been hoping to have BOTH of the final ‘from eden’ chapters done before summer. but i have to admit, progress on the next chapter hasn’t been as forthcoming as i’d expected, for a couple reasons.
the first is health-related. not to be too TMI, but i recently got diagnosed with crohn’s disease. my symptoms started ages ago but have really ramped up in the last couple months, and the diagnosis was a lengthy and involved process (started the hunt back in november, presumptively diagnosed after a colonoscopy in feb, definitively diagnosed when biopsies came back over spring break) and even when i was simply waiting for results, it occupied a lot of my mental capacity. and ofc it happened to line up with me turning 26 and needing new insurance, which has caused lots of delays. anyone dealing with the american health care system while chronically ill will tell you it’s a frustrating, exhausting process. as of right now, i’m still waiting to start treatment 🫠
but honestly, even more than that, the biggest thing stopping me from writing is… me? 😂 so there’s this thing that happens after i post a chapter that’s like… decision paralysis? except it’s just that sometimes, i literally can’t bring myself to start the next chapter. it’s like, i have this unfounded fear that all my writing up until this point has been some magical fluke out of my control, and i’m not capable of ‘pulling it off’ again. i guess you could call it a form of imposter syndrome (which i already encounter enough in my vet school life). it gets worse after posting something that was a particularly massive undertaking or was insanely well-received bc i’m scared i won’t be able to top it- even though the impact of storytelling is supposed to be cohesive, and it’s unrealistic for every chapter to be ‘bigger and better’ (what does that even mean?) than the last one because they serve different purposes at different points in the story. i know this, rationally, but that doesn’t stop the irrational fear of failure from making me avoid writing.
i’m not sharing this to make excuses or garner sympathy, or fish for compliments, and certainly not to make anyone feel guilty for asking about updates. i just feel like maybe this will resonate with anyone who has the same experience. and also to share hope, because despite how often this feeling rears its ugly head, i’ve still been able to push through and get back to writing- and i’m always very happy with the result. sometimes it just takes longer than i’d like (pro tip: writing on ur phone is less intimidating, tho it’s more of a pain). but in any case, the next chapter of ‘from eden’ is well underway and i still hope to have the series done before summer’s end^^
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ravixen · 1 year
Note
tw: anxiety, panic attacks
hi, ive been feeling really down lately, so would you mind writing a svt reaction to you having a panic attack in front of them? its ok if you can’t for whatever reason, but i really like the blurb style you do for 3-5 members, so if you choose to do it, could you do it for the8, jeonghan and any other members of your choice?
svt + comforting your panic attack
➔ reaction || requested
➔ warnings: anxiety, panic attack || 418 words ➔ notes: fluff, comfort ; panic attacks are exhausting — i really hope things look up for you, anon. until then, i hope this provides a bit of comfort. some of this experience comes from me having a panic attack and collapsing in front of my choir, though i didn't know what it was at the time
SEUNGCHEOL: he walks into the room during the tail end of your panic attack, right when weariness starts to set in your bones, and he pushes his self-bashing for later. there's no way he could've known that you were going through one, but if he didn't go to the kitchen first, he could've found you sooner...pulling you gently into his arms, he holds you until you stop shaking, your fingers curling into his shirt. "I'm right here," he tells you, cheek against the top of your head. "take your time. it's okay." he repeats that, squeezing your hand, until you sit up by yourself and give him a tired smile.
JEONGHAN: he catches your elbow right before you hit the ground. "hey!" he didn't expect this when he walked in. his grip on you is tight. "hey, i got you. it's alright. breathe with me, okay?" he presses your palm against his chest as a guide, and you bury your face in his shoulder, forcing yourself to take deeper breaths through the thick material of his sweater. "in and out. one more time. you're doing so well." he rubs your back. he doesn't know if it helps, but he stays there with you until it's done, even when his body starts cramping with how he's sitting.
MINGHAO: he notices the signs quickly. waving off everyone's concern, he guides you into another room with comfy chairs. as you sink into the cushions, he sits by your feet, chin resting on your knees, thumb rubbing circles into your skin. "I'm just going to count," he murmurs, looping from 0 to 10 until the rushing in your ears eases. you focus on his gaze, which never breaks from yours. he waits until the tension leaves your shoulders before offering to get you water and a snack. "don't worry, I'll just tell everyone that you need a few minutes."
VERNON: at first, he looks at you with a furrowed brow, trying to figure out what's going on. when it clicks, his face morphs into his signature silent oh, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. he isn't sure what to do by himself, so he does the next best thing. he texts one of the boys who's better at helping and asks you what he can do in the mean time. "just hold my hand tight?" you manage. he sits in front of you, one hand clutched around yours, the other light on your cheek as you lean into his touch.
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trentlife · 9 months
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OUR SPECIAL TIME - P1
requested ✔️
summary: you and trent hardly get alone time anymore with now having a newborn baby, and also with his busy schedule, he tells you how much he misses it, until one day, you are finally able to have your time together.
authors note: im loving that your all loving dad trent! probably my favourite thing to write, decided to make this a mini series, enjoy <3
warnings: fluff, adult language, smut
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the day was nearly finally over, 8pm had just hit and all you were waiting for now, was to finally see your boyfriend, after his 10 days away in germany with his club.
your baby was fast asleep, you were all pampered, in your pyjamas, waiting patiently. you got yourself up off the couch and went into the kitchen to make your boyfriend his dinner for when he got home.
spaghetti carbonara, his favourite. you made the sauce just the way he liked it, and had the pasta boiling until it was ready, and you dished it all up.
that was until you heard the key go in the door, and a huge smile appeared on your face, he was finally home.
you speedily walked into the hallway to be greeted to your baby daddy placing his bags down, and spreading his arms for you.
you quickly placed yourself on his chest, and tied your arms around him as he placed a kiss on to your head.
"ive missed you so much" you told him, looking into his eyes.
"ive missed you more, trust me" he looked down at you, pressing his lips onto yours.
you let him take his jacket off and sort him self out and you walked into the kitchen and placed his dinner down onto the table and sat down on the chair next to his, and waited while looking through your phone.
"you actually know me too well, it smells insane" he said to you whilst bringing the plate of food to his nose and licking his lips.
whilst he ate, you both just talked about how his time in germany went and what you both got up to in the time of not seeing each other.
"im taking leo is in bed?" he asked you, and you nodded.
"ive missed him so much yeno, didn't realise how connected i would be to him." you looked at him in utter awe, he was honestly meant to be a dad, how caring he is to his son, he always puts him first in everything he does now days.
"that was lovely, thanks babe" he thanked you giving you a kiss and going to put his plate in the wash.
"im shattered can we go upstairs and chill?" he asked you.
"yeh of course, i was going to do that anyway" you replied to him, switching the lights off and locking all the doors.
you began your way up the stairs with trent following behind you, and of course a slap on your bum from him.
"ive missed that" he said to you smirking.
"good" you told him, making him laugh.
"awh theres my boy!" trent leant over his little sleeping bed, placing a kiss on his face and rubbing his stomach, which made you smile.
you walked over to where he was, and roamed your hands along his chest over his shirt, and lifted his face to meet yours and pulled him into a kiss. it started off slow, until you slipped your tongue inside of his, as his held onto your bum.
he lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist and he walked over to the bed, and sat down with you still on his lap.
you moved your fingers through his curls until his hands met the back of your bra and unclipped it. he threw the bra to one side and instantly put your nipple in his mouth, which made you gasp.
he moved you to underneath him and he was now on top of you, as you ripped his top off over his head, and his hands met the waistband of your pyjama shorts, and he slowly slipped them down your legs.
you were now left in your panties, and trent left in his shorts and boxers, until you pulled his shorts off and grabbed him through his shorts as you felt him harden.
it was going so well, until you heard leo starting to cry which made you look at the time to see it was feed time.
"fuck sake" you lifted your self up and trent just looked at you, looking rather pissed off.
"don't look at me like that, what do you want me to do? not feed him?" you said sounding rather angry.
you walked over and lifted your son carefully and placed him in your arms and kissed his head, and guiding him on to latch on to your breast.
trent was sat on the edge of the bed leaning back on his hands just watching you with your boy, which made you go over and sit in between his legs, and you could still feel him behind you.
he sat up, curling his arms around you naked stomach, watching you feed leo, and kissing your shoulder.
once you were finished, you laid him back down and he went straight back to sleep.
you walked back over to trent and put your arms around his neck, as he was looking rather down, and not as happy as he was before.
"what's up t?" you asked him, rather confused.
"i miss our time y/n, of course i love my son the whole world and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me, but i miss our special time, even if it's just one night that we got to ourselves, that would do." he informed you, and that made you rub his cheek with your thumb.
"i get it trent, i honestly do, and i miss it too, maybe we ask your mum if she can have him tomorrow?" you looked into his eyes, hoping that would of made him a bit better in the situation.
"yeh okay, let's do that, i love you and leo no matter what." he pulled you to his side, and placed your arm over his.
"love you forever, and i can't wait for our special time together, hopefully tomorrow" you winked at him and rested your head on his chest, eventually dozing off to sleep.
the end of part1
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skzvivie · 5 months
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vivienne's birthday live !
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"Annyeong stay!" Vivie waved at the camera, her smile brightly illuminating the screen. "Finally, it's my birthday!" she exclaimed, gesturing cheerfully towards the surrounding decorations. A cluster of Hello Kitty balloons and an ocean of pink dominated her surroundings. Massive letters spelling out 'Happy Birthday' in pale pink covered the wall.
"I'm so excited!" Vivie gushed, her excitement seeping through the screen. "I've been waiting for this day for a whole year!". As soon as the words escaped from her lips, the staff members behind the camera let out a chorus of laughter. "I just realized I sound really stupid" Her head drooping down in shame and embarrassment.
"SKZJIGI are laughing at me right now, on my birthday," she said, her voice barely audible over the sounds of laughing. "How could they?"
Eventually their laughter died down and vivie started to speak again. "Alright, let me explain," Vivie began, her voice exuding confidence. "So basically, since December is the last month of the year, it feels like your birthday is a long way away. That's because once December ends, a new year begins, and with it, another 12-month countdown begins."She paused momentarily, gauging her STAY's attention before continuing. "If anyone wants to argue with that, don't, because I've had this debate with Felix before and it lasted over 10 minutes. We didn't come to an agreement and he called me 'pabo', but I still believe I'm right." She nodded confidently, hoping her point got across.
"Alright, let's move on," she said, her voice much lighter than it was only moments before. She started scrolling through the comments.
" 'OOTD?' 하나까지 완전 우리답지 my favorite things (kitsch by ive), I'm sorry I had to sing it." Vivie stood up to give the camera a closer look at her outfit of the day. She was wearing a pair of dark blue denim jeans, which she paired with a pink long sleeved top and a white oversized hello kitty jacket layered on top. She styled her brown hair with a white hollow star-shaped claw clip, framing her face perfectly.
"Oh, and I also got my nails done," Vivie added, holding up her hands to the camera. She showed STAY her freshly done pink-charmed nails with a big smile on her face.
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" ' when did you do them? ' literally this morning. "I was walking past this new nail salon, saw it looked really nice, and thought, 'what the heck, might as well go in!' The owners ended up being STAYs, which was super cool. And they did my nail design! So whoever you are, thank you so much, because they literally match my cake."
With that, she moved the beautifully iced Hello Kitty cake in front of the camera. "Speaking of cake..." she began, "This has to be the most cutest birthday cake I've ever had. I feel bad knowing it won't last!" Vivie set down the cake and leaned back in her chair, a satisfied look on her face as she admired the decorated cake. "I think it's about time we start singing," she said with a smile. "Three, two one go!" She took a deep breath, then began to sing.
"saeng-il chukha hamnida, saeng-il hamnida, sarang haneun choi vivie, saeng-il chukha hamnida (생일 축하합니다, 생일축하합니다, 사랑하는 최 비비, 생일축하합니다)!" With a big smile on her face, Vivie blew out the imaginary candles on her birthday cake and clapped joyfully for herself. She grabbed her foon / spork (iykyk) and raised it into the air before taking a bite out of the cake. She took a deep breath and sank her teeth into the frosting, savoring the sweet taste before taking another bite
"Wait, oh my gosh, it's so good," she said, her voice full of joy. With a big grin, she ducked under the table, pretending to change into formal attire. "Wait a minute, stay tuned," she said, pretending to change. "I can't talk about food looking like this!"
A moment later, she reappeared, complete with a pretend tie and a confident smile. "Hello STAY, it's food critic Choi," she said proudly, straightening her tie as if it were real. "I have to tell you, this cake is the perfect blend of sweet and moist, with a tiny hint of salt that really brings out the flavors. It's like tiny little dancers on your tongue," she said, gesturing for extra effect. "That is all for today, food critic Choi out." She threw a sloppy peace sign and ducked under the table again changing back to ordinary vivie.
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After talking with STAY for some while, she decided to finally open the presents. "This one is from SKZJIGI." she announced as she pulled out a wrapped gift with a heart-shaped bow on the top out. She eagerly tore open the gift wrapping, revealing a small, soft, stuffed talking hamster. "Oh my Gosh, it's a talking hamster toy!" Vivie exclaimed, staring in awe at the tiny, cute toy resembling "I now have my very own han jisung toy!" She held the toy up to her mouth and said "Hello" to see if it would respond. "Hello," the toy repeated in a high-pitched, squeaky voice. "Woah, that's so cool!" She set the toy next to her cake as she eagerly reached for the next present.
"This one's a bit heavy, wow I need more muscles desperately." She lugged the gift onto the table and began to tear open the sparkly red wrapper. As the paper came off, Vivie let out a delighted screech as she revealed a pink and green unicorn-decorated claw machine filled with delicious sweets and chocolate. She couldn't contain her excitement and immediately began trying to win the snacks. She failed multiple times, but she still managed to grab a few snacks in her attempts.
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Vivie carefully unwrapped the final present, eager to see what was inside. As she tore open the box, she was thrilled to see a pink bubble gun. With a big smile on her face, she quickly loaded the gun with some bubbles and aimed it at the air, pulling the trigger to release a stream of bubbles. The colorful bubbles flew through the air and popped, leaving Vivie giggling like the child she is.
She was smiling from ear to ear, completely overjoyed at her present. As she pulled the trigger and the bubbles rained down upon her, however, one of the bubbles accidentally landed in her eye. "OWW, MY EYE!" she yelled as she leaned back, rubbing her eye as tears began to stream down her cheeks. She turned to face the camera and her eye was bright red, causing her to look even more comical. Even with the pain, she couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
Vivie was trying to recover from the pain of the bubble hitting her eye, the door of the room suddenly swung open. To her surprise and embarrassment, Han walked in, giggling at her misfortune of getting a bubble in her eye. "Do you wanna know how it feels Jisung?" Vivie asked with a hint of mischievousness in her voice, and pulled the trigger as bubbles shot out of the gun and hit Han directly in the face. He let out a surprised hiss and ran away, still covered in bubbles, causing Vivie to break down into laughter
"STAY, I think I should go now. I've still got a busy day ahead of me." She smiled widely. "It's been a pleasure hanging out with you, but I need to get going. Let's see each other soon, annyeong!" She waved one more time before ending the live.
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ᰍ̠ . . . a/n ━━━ happy birthday to me 🥳🎊 can u tell i can't write😃😃 psalm 22:10 ━━━ ‭from birth I was cast on you; from my mother's womb you have been my God. God loves you 💋
✉️ . . . taglist! ━━━ @mynameisnotlaura @alixnsuperstxr send an ask to be added!
©skzvivie all rights reserved. do not copy or repost
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beautifulpersonpeach · 5 months
Note
Bpp I'm dying to know your song rankings in chapter 2 now they've all debuted. What are your top picks this year? I miss your writing and hope I can coax you back with 'a fun ask'
***
Okay. :)
Since you asked...
Top 10 Non-BTS K-pop Songs in 2023
10 - Watch It - The Boyz (this song just dropped and it's already in my top ten, yes)
9 - Seoul - H1-key
8 - Ay-Yo - NCT 127
7 - Sweet Venom - ENHYPEN
6 - Neverland Farewell - TXT (Say whatever you like about BigHit, they know how to make good music. Soobin sounds incredible on this song. Beomgyu too. Really, they all do.)
5 - Cool With You - NewJeans
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NewJeans isn't going anywhere, so everyone else really should get comfortable with the idea of seeing them at the top. That's all there is to say.
*
4 - Crying - BOYNEXTDOOR
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I don't know where my head was at when I ranked this the worst song on the album. Clearly, I was wrong. This song was a pleasant companion during the autumn months, and I can't wait to see what else they come out with.
*
3 - Chaconne - ENHYPEN
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Do you know what a chaconne is? That's not a rhetorical question btw. No shade either, I'm just curious. For those who don't know, a chaconne is a rhythmical and harmonic motif over a pronounced bass-line. That's my leftover understanding from music classes taken a lifetime ago. According to google, a chaconne is also "a slow, solemn dance in 3/4 time, of Spanish or Moorish origin, similar to the passacaglia." For a non-k-pop example, I recommend Hilary's rendition of Bach's chaconne (more leftover knowledge from a lifetime ago).
Anyway, this likely isn't important context. The use of "chaconne" in the song probably has more to do with how it sounds in the song, than what it means. In any case, Enhypen earned a gold star from me with this pantydropper anthem.
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2 - Criminal Love - ENHYPEN
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I'm not sure how many of you were here when Heartbeat and Dream Glow were released. What I remember was shock, pure incredulity that BigHit would release songs of that quality for game OSTs. From ARMYs and k-pop stans alike, this was the sentiment. It was like a flex that BTS had such a peerless discography they could make songs like this for a side gig.
That's immediately what I was reminded of when I first heard Criminal Love, released as the OST for Enhypen's webtoon. It's moody, vampy, seduction in a song. That's what that song is. Sad too, when you hear the lyrics. Watching the live performance only drives it home.
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1 - Blind - ENHYPEN
This song has given me one of the best auditory experiences I've ever had in k-pop. Which is a bit odd because yes a lot happens in the production, but the switches are so subtle you almost don't notice it.
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Heeseung, Ni-ki, Jay, Sunoo, Sunghoon, Jake, and Jungwon - all outdid themselves on this song. Vocally, they sound incredible. The writing, (again) is top notch. This is one of the only songs released this year that I genuinely struggle not to loop.
*
Top 5 BTS Solo Songs
5 - Yes or No - Jung Kook
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This is one song I'm praying and begging that we get thousands of remixes of. HYBE, please work your magic and give us 10 remixes of Yes or No. I need it. This is the perfect pop song in that it makes you crave more. I know it's got a predictable, common almost, chord progression in VI -> V -> I -> IV, but it's perfect in that it's impossible to get sick of it. It just worms itself into your head and all you can think of is all the ways to sing all over those chords.
Jung Kook's vocal work on that song is irreproachable. He's really set himself apart with this album and I'm glad he did it.
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4 - Snooze - AGUST D, ft. Ryuichi Sakamoto & Woosung
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HUH?! should be here, as should Amygdala so consider this a triple entry: HUH + Snooze + Amygdala. The reason why is self-evident (I hope).
Anyway... I want to talk a bit about Snooze.
Yoongi loves using the piano. He likes the sound of it, and you can tell in songs like Snooze. He has such a profound love and respect for that musical instrument that it only makes sense a man like Ryuichi acknowledged Yoongi before he passed.
With everything that happened this year, remembering Moonbin, and knowing that Yoongi made this song for his juniors... the first time I heard this song it completely destroyed me. Anyone who hasn't paid attention to the lyrics yet should check it.
When I casually listen in to TXT, SVT, Enhypen, BoyNextDoor, and see the work they're doing, putting out easily some of the best music and performances in their generations, I hope and pray they develop a support system that genuinely values them, soon. I hope they survive this industry, and thrive in it.
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3 - All Day - RM ft Tablo
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Not to be that person (since he's canceled for reasons and it actually makes sense why), but when I first saw the song title All Day, I immediately remembered All Day by Kanye West - one of the sauciest and meanest songs he's ever made. I was worried, given the tone of the album to that point, that Namjoon was going to give us his take on Ye's original. Joon is more than capable of dropping a track just as mean if not more. I didn't put it past him to pay homage to the Kanye joint by taking a spin on it. But, thankfully, All Day is nothing like Kanye's song, and it's my favourite song on Indigo because it's the best.
Joon's diction on this track is *chef's kiss*. His voice.... that outro, and thank goodness, Tablo came through. He actually has a presence on the track and made it even more worth the listen.
It kills me that we don't even have a visualizer for this masterpiece.
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2 - Set Me Free Pt 2 - Jimin
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Thank you for giving me another chance to talk about Set Me Free Pt 2.
One reason all the anxiety and fear-mongering around Jimin seems insane to me is because Jimin dropped this song and ended k-pop in 2023. He literally has no real competition. He came in, showed out, and left. That song is the sexiest joint out of Korea this year. It's so nasty. He's absolutely disgusting on this song in how brutally he makes rubbish of everything beneath him. Like, he literally has people bowing down to him in the choreography. Bobbing their heads like Funko Pops, while he sings to be set free. I'm going on a bit of a tangent here, but I want to say something. There's a cruelty in the way Jimin speaks. Whether to someone else or to himself. It's often (somewhat) restrained, born of the way he sees the world I think, and it was especially brutal in their early days, but he's toned it down significantly since 2016. It's virtually non-existent in his speech patterns and word choice now. Jimin of the last few years communicates gently, directly, tactfully, and at worst, bluntly. A lot of that cruelty is toned down but he unleashes a whisper of it on SMF Pt 2. Just listen to what he's saying on that song. That autotune effect on his voice was for our benefit and safety. Nothing can convince me otherwise. And we haven't even yet gotten into the full symbolism of the MV and his lyricism...
The moment I heard this song I knew I would bias Jimin. He's a man who knows what he's doing.
Jimin is a one of a kind wonder. Real magic in a person. An artist. He proves it on Set Me Free Pt 2. Kudos to PDogg too - the GOAT.
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1 - On The Street - j-hope ft J. Cole
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When it comes to song construction, I have to give credit where credit is due and the fact is Hoseok outdid himself with this song. It is perfect, my top pick for a k-pop song in 2023. Jermaine did good on it too. But, you know... Hoseok.
The whistle melody he came up with, the beat, the vocal layering, the mixing, the MV direction - all of it is perfect. If we were giving scores based on separate components, OTS would get 10s in every category.
Honestly, Hoseok coming out at number 1 is kind of expected of him lol.
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guavagyu · 10 months
Text
you're mine, bunny - c.sb!
oh lord do i luv some sub!soobin <3
urgh this has literally been in my drafts since 12/22/22 (i promise ive just been powering thru it for the past few days)
this was unrequested! (still send requests pls 🙏)
wc: 2,220
synopsis: after discussing sex, you discover a new side of soobin, right before you go to a party, so you're riled up the entire night. plus, it seems that soobin can't keep his eyes off you, so when you both get home, stuff happens.
contents: smut (mdni), fluff, swearing, fem!reader, VERY posessive!reader, hardcore jealousy from reader, dom!reader, mentions of alcohol consumption, sub!soobin, mentions of yeonjun (sorry jun ily!), nicknames (whore, bunny, bun, binnie), established!relationship au, non-idol!au, handjob, choking, nipple play, mirror sex, breeding kink, mommy kink, marking (m!receiving), corruption kink, slight overstimulation, brief fingering (f!receiving), tall!reader (abt same height as soob), brief cockwarming, cum eating, p in v sex, unprotected sex (this is a no!), aftercare (not rlly discussed, though), praise kink, degradation kink, lmk if there r more pls!!
"so, what has sex been for you in the past?" soobin bluntly asked out of nowhere. you two were literally just chilling on the couch watching tv,
"what do you mean?" you responded,
"like, i dunno, like..what stuff usually happened? what was involved?"
"uh, well, i usually dom i guess," you started,
"o-okay, what else?" he caught himself, his mind buzzing and heart doing flips when he heard you're a dom,
"uh, i don't really know. i can't think of anything off the top of my head, so, why don't we just start with you?" you tried to play it smooth, and it did. to be honest, you've been dying for this conversation for ages, so you wanted to learn as much as you can,
"o-oh, well um, i-i-" he stuttered, face flushing,
"soob, if you don't want to tell me it's okay, don't worry about it," you reassured him, not wanting to pressure him into doing anything he wasn’t comfortable with,
“n-no it’s ok it’s just..” soobin trailed off,
“do you want me to just give you a notepad and a pen and 10 minutes by yourself?” you chuckled, half serious,
“actually..yeah, could you do that?”
“oh? sure,” you smiled as you got up to gather the materials and headed back to soobin to hand it to him, “call me when you’re done,”
“okay, uh, maybe you should try to get ready, we gotta leave for that party in 20,”
oh shit. the party. fuck. why did soobin think this was a good topic to bring up RIGHT before a social event with your friends? you said "okay" before giving him a quick kiss and walking to your shared bedroom, sifting through your closet to look for an appropriate outfit,
"is there a theme i need to follow?" you called out,
"i don't think so. wear whatever you want," soobin responded, so whatever you want it was. after sifting for a minute or so and picking out some pieces, you finalized on a strapless black dress. you fixed your hair and decided to just leave it down for tonight, it wasn't a huge event. soon soobin walked in the room and saw you, blushing and swallowing nervously, shuffling over to the closet as well and came out in a black dress shirt and jeans, before heading to the bathroom as well and hug you from behind as you finished up, resting his head on your shoulder, "almost done?"
"yeah, just one more thing," before you grabbed a bottle of perfume, sniffed it, putting it back and choosing another one, making soobin even more nervous as you'd chosen his favorite. after a couple sprays, you kissed his cheek and said, "okay, let's go," letting him lead you to the car, before opening your door, then sitting in the driver's seat. for the whole ride, he tried to keep his focus off of how you looked, especially with your perfume filling the car. he almost gave up on heading to the party entirely when you put your hand on his thigh, while he consistently felt his pants growing tighter as time passed. he could feel himself breathe out a sigh of relief the moment you arrived, getting out of the car, and heading in. the place was bustling, the smell of booze and sweat filling your nostrils. soobin kept close to you the entire time, clearly uncomfortable with the environment you were both involuntarily dragged into. curse yeonjun. naturally, he just had to go all out for his birthday. whatever, not like you could just ditch him right now. what happened next was worse, though, as he got dragged away by yeonjun. you decided to just let him be and go get a drink. you soon got a glass of scotch on the rocks as he was soon surrounded by a bunch of extra friends..and women. women who weren't you. women who weren't you. women that were touching him, getting pretty handsy for a complete stranger. you were very well aware of how attractive he was, but you felt jealous, and very pissed at yeonjun for allowing this even though he was aware of your relationship. you felt your teeth grind at the sight of multiple women grabbing at him, feeling his chest and abdomen. his eyes were like a deer, wide and innocent, unknowing of what to do. his eyes filtered through the room, before finally meeting yours. he gulped when he saw your expression, dark and almost murderous. soobin tried to push them off, but the women were too drunk and simply wouldn't listen. the moment you snapped was when one of the girls tried to kiss him, but missing and hitting his chin. she was clearly the drunkest one, but it still infuriated you. your glass was slammed down on the table, almost breaking, as you steadily walked over to the place soobin was in. towering over the girls, they noticed your presence almost immediately, and all but the drunkest ran away,
"heyyy, what's your pro'lem? i'm jus' havin' a lil fun," she slurred, giving one of the ugliest smiles you've ever seen,
"yeah, my problem is that you're trying to have 'a lil fun' with my boyfriend, so back off or i'll fuck you up," you leaned down to her level, clearly something clicked in her head, sobering her up just a bit. she soon nodded frantically, gave a quick apology, and ran off with the rest of her group to talk about what had just happened,
"y/n i'm sorry they wouldn't leave-" he stood up, trying to explain, but you shushed him gently,
"hey, binnie it's okay, i saw everything, just stay close for the rest of the night please, i don't think i can take more people like that," you sighed, giving him a quick kiss on the nose. soobin nodded, and staying close was what he did. he also couldn't keep his eyes off you, maybe your display of jealousy did something. you always tried to keep it in check, as it had driven others away in the past, but thankfully, it seemed that soobin was actually inclined to stay because of your possessiveness. you thanked whatever god was out there for this, that you finally found someone who wasn't scared away due to your nature. seriously though, his eyes never wavered, only occasional small glances around at people were what gave him visual separation from you. fortunately, the party ended in an hour or so, with yeonjun coming up to you personally and apologizing for the incident, which you put aside your previous hard feelings and told him not to worry about it and there was a lot of things that had his attention and it just slipped past him. he thanked you and you soon left, just barely keeping under the speed limit the whole ride home, eager to get back as soon as possible so you could have soobin all to yourself. the moment the front door was closed, you threw your shoes off, let soobin take his off, and dragged him to your bedroom. you set him onto the bed, and took off his clothes while kissing his face and neck, "this okay?" you asked temporarily stopping,
"yes, mommy, please don't stop again," he gave you the green light, and you didn't take a second longer to return to your previous antics, finally stopping at his lips, making out with him for minutes on end. you took off your own clothes before straddling his lap,
"hey bunny, want me to go get that list you made earlier?" you asked, peppering kisses into his jaw,
"no, mommy, stay here, i can tell you," the sudden change on his attitude on sharing his preferences showed how desperate he was to have you stay with him, "uh..i like praise..and degradation..but praise more! i really like being marked too. maybe a little choking, i like mirrors too..i think that's it," soobin blushed, "is that okay?"
"yeah binnie, don't worry," you smiled at him, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead, "c'mere then, if you like mirrors," you gently set him on the other side of the bed, where your full body mirror stood. he swallowed, anticipating at what was to come. you kneeled on the bed behind him, wrapping your arms around his chest, pulling him close, "look bun, this good for you?" you whispered in his ear, nibbling on the shell,
"yes mommy, thank you," he leaned back to pull you into a kiss, which you happily reciprocated, his hand on your cheek, trying to get you closer than you already were, then you reached down and pulled on his nipple, making him jerk and lean into you, moaning in the process. then you snaked your arms down towards his dick, which was standing up, with a slight curve, tip red, angry, and leaking with precum, the liquid dribbling down towards his thighs. you decided to help relieve him and you took his dick in your hand, slowly pumping up and down as you put your other hand around his neck, clasping down, making him moan again
"look, bunny. look at yourself and how i make you fall apart," you let the sinful words fall out of your mouth with the sweetest tone, as his face turned to watch you pump his dick in your hand, as well as your hand tight around his throat. he could feel his mind getting fuzzier at the lack of blood and oxygen, but it only made everything else so much more sensitive. his swollen, pink lips parted as he let out strings of whines as he felt his orgasm approach. knowing this, you picked up the pace, squeezing just a bit harder as you softly bit and left hickeys all over his neck, shoulders, and back, "aren't you just a pretty whore, hm? only wanting me to please you like a pillow princess, you don't want to do any work do you? just wanna watch yourself cum? well, you're mine, bunny. your my pillow princess, and your my pretty whore, got it? nobody else can have you but me," you growled in his ear as you rubbed his tip, him finally cumming all over his legs and your hand. you held your hand up to his mouth and he licked it clean, whimpering as you continued to slowly pump his dick, shuddering as the sensitivity was overcome by pleasure. after stopping so you could switch positions, you were now in front of him, "think you got a little more in you, bunny?" you asked, tucking some stray hairs behind his ear,
"yes, mommy. can i be inside you please? i really really wanna feel you," he grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together, which you nodded and you slowly sank down on him, back to his chest, as you wanted to watch yourself in the mirror alongside him. he groaned as he bottomed out, arms wrapping around you and tugging you close. after letting him get used to you, you lifted yourself up before sinking back down, his dick twitching at how tight and warm you were. soon, he took it on his own to maintain the pace, and started off by simply rolling his hips into you, making you moan as he continuously hit your g-spot. however, he still needed more, starting to relentlessly pound into you, digging his head into your neck as he tried to muffle his moans into you, before you catching him and saying,
"hey binnie, don't do that, lemme hear my little whore's moans mk? you're doing so good, making me feel amazing bun," you said, which he nodded to, feeling his dick twitch again at the name. now, he didn't hold back, letting all of his pretty noises into the world, as well as right into your ear. soobin's moans only brought you closer to the edge, which was getting nearer as he never stopped ramming into your g-spot, making you finally cum as you grabbed one of his hands that were wrapped around you, squeezing tightly as your walls clamped down on him, making him whine as he cummed into you. after he rode out his high, along with you, he slowly pulled out, but suddenly replaced his dick with his pretty fingers, trying to keep his cum in you. you got the hint, even though he didn't tell you in the beginning that he liked breeding you. then, he led you to the bathroom to clean you both up,
"hey, y/n? y'know, i really liked how you..um..back there.." soobin suddenly got flustered, making you laugh at his behavior, kissing his nose,
"sorry if it was a little much," which he rapidly shook his head no, saying how he found it super hot and honestly wouldn't care if you had fucked him right there. once you started aimlessly chatting about random topics (as well as tonight's events), you finally cleaned up and settled down in your bed, him on top of your chest, nuzzling into the crook of your neck,
"g'night bunny, i love you," you kissed his damp hair, still not fully dry from the shower you just took, as he gave a quiet "i love you too" before you both drifted off to sleep.
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© guavagyu 2023. all rights reserved. plagiarization, reposting, translating, and/or rewriting ANY and ALL of my works is prohibited.
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queen--of--shadows · 2 years
Text
Healing Shadows: Part 3
Azriel x Reader
Summary: Reader is a gifted surgical healer and water bender. Rhysand needs her help when he finds out about Feyre’s risky pregnancy. Azriel finds out reader is his mate.
Warnings: mentions of C-section surgery and blood
Word Count: 2,050
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
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Part 3: Pain
You barely slept all night, tossing and turning anxiously and waking up every hour. The satin sheets felt hot and sticky on your sweaty skin, forcing you to get up and sit by the window to get some air. You were still nervous about the surgery, despite everyone’s confidence in you. You also couldn’t stop thinking about Azriel, his lingering touches, and the sparkling gold hidden in tiny flecks throughout his deep hazel eyes. You shook your head to clear your thoughts, got dressed, and headed downstairs to start setting up. 
Rhys had cleared out one of the rooms on the first floor of the House, and Nuala and Cerridwen had offered to deep clean last night. To your surprise, most of the tools were already set out. A large table lay in the center of the room with a curtain cutting through the middle. To the side, a small silver tray table was spread out with all your medical supplies, and the makeshift IV you fashioned was up at the corner of the bed. Clean sheets and towels were piled on the couch, and you draped one of the sheets over the table, setting a pillow at the top.
“How are you feeling?” Feyre’s voice echoed in the silent room. You weren’t surprised that she was already up, too, since she was likely just as nervous as you were.
With a tight smile, you replied, “Good morning, Feyre. I feel ready,” you half-lied. “Everything will go great, and your baby will be here in no time.”
“Nyx.” Feyre’s blue eyes shone in the dark room as she whispered the name again, more to herself than to you. “Rhys and I decided on the name last night. I think it will suit him, even if he's not a boy.”
“That’s a beautiful name, and so fitting,” you breathed, striding over to grab her hands in yours. “Baby Nyx, we’re ready whenever you are,” you said as Feyre wrapped her long arms around you, pulling you into a hug. Over her shoulder, you noticed the three Illyrians making their way in, along with three females.
A tall, bustling blonde with sparkling brown eyes, and two females who looked similar yet opposite. One had golden-brown hair, like Feyre’s, with sharp features cutting the planes of her stern face. The other female had a softer look, with brunette hair curling down her back and large brown eyes like a doe. All of their gazes were focused on you.
“Good morning, Y/N,” Rhys began. “This is my cousin, Morrigan, and Feyre’s sisters Nesta and Elain,” he motioned towards the females. Morrigan and Elain offered quick smiles, but Nesta stared you down, as if peering into your very soul. You knew they worried about their friend, sister, and High Lady.
“Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s lovely to meet you all. I know everyone is nervous but I promise Madja and I have done everything we can to prepare for today, and I don’t foresee any issues.”
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Madja joined shortly after, helping you sterilize all your tools one more time before beginning. Feyre was lying down on the table, and Rhys had already removed any sensations in her body. Madja took your hands in hers. “I’m proud of you for accepting this challenge. Nobody is more ready for this than you. Believe in yourself. We will all be here should anything go wrong, but I know with your quick wit, it should be a smooth surgery. You’re going to do great.” Her eyes shone with pride at her apprentice, and you couldn’t help the lump that had suddenly formed in your throat. Unable to find the words, you simply nodded and gave her a quick hug.
Feyre was staring at the ceiling, taking long deep breaths. Rhys was on her left, holding her hand, and Nesta was on the other side doing the same. Elain stood behind her, gently patting her hair in a soothing motion. The tension in the air was palpable, but holding a scalpel in your hand, you suddenly felt confident in your skills.
You checked with Rhys one last time to ensure he was focused on Feyre’s body. Lightly scraping the edge of the scalpel on her swollen belly, you asked, “Feyre, can you feel that?” She shook her head in response, and you whispered a silent prayer before cutting into her.
“Alright, everyone. Let’s begin.”
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You had worked with cadavers before, but that didn’t prepare you for how much blood would spill out of the High Lady’s body. As you made the first deep incision, sweat began collecting on the back of your neck and brow. You suddenly became aware of everyone’s attention on you, causing your hand to tremble slightly. Everyone remained silent, the only sounds coming from your hands as you continued cutting through the deep layers of skin, fat, and muscle. You took long breaths to steady your hand.
I can do this, I know how to do this.
Madja handed you towel after towel to soak up Feyre’s pooling blood, and after multiple incisions, you peeled back the layers of her abdomen to reveal a fluid-filled sac encasing the precious life within. “Is everything okay? What’s going on? Why isn’t anyone saying anything?” Feyre’s barrage of questions pulled you out of your mind and back into the reality of the present moment. “Yes, everything looks great, Feyre. I’m about to cut the amniotic sac and pull baby Nyx out. So far, so good.” Rhys shot you a worried look, but you weren’t lying. Everything had been smooth sailing, up until now.
Madja wiped away the leaking fluid as you cut open the sac and pulled out Nyx. He was a beautiful baby, with tiny wings that matched his father’s, and jet-black hair matted down over his head. You quickly handed the baby to Madja before cutting the placenta and preparing to suture up Feyre’s belly. You were about to start closing her up and were so engrossed in the task at hand, you didn’t realize until you heard Rhys yell, “Why isn’t he crying? Why is he so quiet?!” Rhys rushed to Madja, and a blood-curdling scream erupted through the room. “Rhys! Rhys, I can’t, please, help!” Feyre managed to get out through strangled sobs. In his wake of panic, Rhys had forgotten to take away her pain. Cassian and Azriel slowly put a hand on the hilt of their matching daggers, pocketed into the belt of their leathers. Mor took a defensive stance, ready to attack and defend her nephew.
A tingling sensation began at the crown of your head and snaked its way down your back, rushing into your arms and legs. Your heart began to race as the anxiety pumped through your veins. Everyone’s eyes were on you, and for a second the room seemed frozen in time.
“Rhysand, we need you to focus on the High Lady. Let us worry about the baby, please.” Madja’s stern voice shook Rhys out of his panic, and the High Lord ran back to his mate, muttering apologies as he tried to soothe her. The room started moving again. Rhys kept a watchful eye over you and Madja as you fussed over the baby. Elain remained at Feyre’s side, trying to calm her, while Mor, Nesta, Azriel, and Cassian all encircled you as you stood over the baby. Nyx remained silent with his eyes closed, as if he was in a deep slumber.
I…I don’t know what to do. I didn’t read about this. I didn’t even know this could happen. What do I do what do I do what do I--
“Y/N, do something.” As if she could hear your thoughts, Nesta’s sharp voice had you snapping up your head to meet her steely gaze. You don’t know why, but you looked to those dark hazel eyes, for comfort or guidance or…you didn’t even know what you were hoping for. Azriel dipped his chin in an imperceptible nod, encouraging you to move. You nodded back at Nesta, and began chest compressions on the tiny Illyrian, using your two fingers to pump his heart and breathe into his mouth.
The room felt too hot, too cramped, as you kept going.
Compress, compress, breath, breath.
You continued for 2 minutes, the room deathly silent.
“Y/N…hand me my baby right NOW!,” Feyre roared across the room.
Before you could turn around to face the High Lord and Lady, a shrieking cry pierced through the air. The color suddenly returned to Nyx’s face and he began crying, flailing his arms and kicking his legs.
You hadn’t even realized you were sobbing, but you wiped your tear-stained cheeks as you grabbed the baby and carried him over to Feyre, placing his bloody body on her chest. Rhys was on his knees next to the bed, sobbing with his head nestled in Feyre’s neck. They both looked up at you with wet eyes, and Rhys kissed your hands over and over. “Thank you, Y/N. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for this,” he repeated. You sank to the ground and gave him a long hug before kissing Feyre on the cheek. “Let me finish closing you up, then we can get cleaned up and rest.”
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You finished suturing and bandaging Feyre’s belly. After greeting baby Nyx with a shower of kisses and coos, the rest of the Inner Circle had left to give the new parents privacy. You didn’t need them to vocalize their appreciation, the hopeful look in their eyes as they met with yours was confirmation enough that they were all grateful for what you had done. Relief washed over you as you sat on the couch, stretching out the aches that had spread throughout your limbs.
“I’m proud of you, Y/N. You handled this entire situation with grace and poise. I knew you could do it, I never once doubted you.” Madja quipped as she walked out of the room, Cassian winnowing her back down to the clinic.
Pride and joy filled your heart as you walked over to check on Nyx. Cuddling against his mother, he was as gorgeous as expected after Madja had given him a bath. You were about to talk to Feyre about how she could start breastfeeding, but before you could say anything, she blurted through tears, “Y/N, I have no idea how to thank you. You’ve given me the gift of my child when all other options had failed. I am forever indebted to you.”
“Oh, please, Feyre--” She cut you off before you could finish.
“Rhys and I have been thinking, and we want to offer you a place in our home. I know we haven’t known each other for long, but you’ve become more than just an acquaintance, and we hope you feel the same. We want you to stay here, in the House of Wind, so you can study medicine freely in the library below. Rhys spoke with one of the priestesses, Clotho, who manages the library. She let us know there is at least an entire floor dedicated to healing and medical texts. Please, Y/N. It’s the least we can do to thank you.”
You didn’t know what to say. Your eyes darted back and forth between Feyre and Rhys, mouth slightly open. “I… I don’t-- I can’t,” you stammered.
“Please, Y/N. It would be our honor to have you join our family here. I know the rest of them would be thrilled if you stayed, and living here with them would give you a chance to get to know everyone better.”
It was no lie that despite only spending a few days with them, they all did feel like close friends, maybe even family. They had made you feel comfortable and welcomed, offering you a place in their home. The opportunity to study in the massive library was so enticing, you knew you couldn’t say no. 
The smile that spread across your face was answer enough, and Rhys and Feyre beamed right back at you.
“Thank you, Y/N. Welcome to our Inner Circle.” A playful spark lit up Rhysand’s eyes as you made your way outside, leaving the new parents to their baby, and feeling grateful for this new chapter of your life.
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ticklish-n-stuff · 7 months
Text
Tickletober day #20: Relentless
I love lee Thoma as much as the next guy, BUT WHAT ABOUT LEE AYATO?? HE DESERVES TO GET HIS SHIT WRECKED
And its not like im lee for Thoma or smth huahahaha...🫣
Also ive been wanting to write them for so long i lub them 💖💖💖
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Thoma x Ayato (interpret as you wish)
Lee: Ayato
Ler: Thoma
Warnings: Tickles!
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Ayato was many things: calm, collected, elegant, that's how he was known to the public. The only one who got to see his more... 'silly' side was Thoma, like now. The Kamisato clan's leader was refusing to go to sleep, although he had an early meeting to go to.
"My lord, please go to sleep. It's good for you" Thoma felt like he was dealing with a hyperactive toddler, which I mean isn't that far off, but he wasn't sure how much patience he had left in him.
"Hmm... make me, why don't you~" was all he was met with, as a cocky Ayato layed back with arms folded behind his head.
In that moment, Thoma could feel a vein pop. He really knew how to push his buttons, but he wasn't the only one with a trick up his sleeve. It was time to resort to drastic meassures. With a deep breath "Y'know what? Fine! But don't say I didn't warn you". Thoma cracked his knuckles dramatically before jumping on top of his master, earning a surprised squeak from the latter.
"T-Thoma?! I didn't think you'd be this bold...~" Ayato tried teasing him to throw him off his game. Letting out a chuckle as Thoma's cheeks turned a nice, crimson red.
"You- you will sleep! If it's the last thing I do" his determination managed to push back the feeling of embarrassment and with that, his hands latched onto Ayato's waist, watching as his eyes went wide when the realization hit.
"Wahait! Uhh... I'll go to sleep?" the blue haired male spoke with a sheepish grin, but the damage had already been done.
"Oh sure, sure. After I'm done with you~" now it was Thoma's turn to fluster him, his hands delivering squeeze after squeeze along Ayato's hips.
"PFFT! NOHOHO! NOT THEHEHERE!" Ayato instantly gripped onto Thoma's jacket as he threw his head back in loud cackles.
"Here, how about a nice massage to get you all losened up?~" the blonde couldn't help but chuckle along as his thumbs rubbed deep circles against Ayato's hip bones.
"WEHYAHAHAHA! WAIT! OKAHAHAY! I'LL SLEHEEHEEP!" the leader begged as his eyes squeezed shut and nose scrunched up, it was quite a cute sight, but Thoma couldn't afford any distractions right now. Not until his master was all tuckered out.
"Hmm... I dunno. Perhaps 10 minutes of tickling is just what you need~"
"S-SPEHEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE AHAHARE YOU?!" how did this man manage to keep teasing while being tickled half to death? Who knows, power of being Kamisato Ayato.
Thoma's cheeks huffed in flusterdness and annoyance. "I tried playing nice, but now you've forced my hand" literally, he shot his hands down to Ayato's thighs, but instead of squeezing aggresively, he lightly trailed his short fingernails all over the soft skin. As gentle as it was, it was an absolute killer move for his master.
"Thoma nohoAHAHAHAHA—" it wasn't long 'till Ayato's laughter switched to silent wheezes and gasped, you'd think he was being tortured.
"I think I'll stay riiiight here until you fall asleep~" Thoma spoke with a grin, keeping up the light grazes and scribbles over Ayato's thighs nonstop. Lessoned learned, don't annoy Thoma.
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