#its reality and i dont feel like denying cause i like a lot of them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

swaglet · 27 days

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chiming in on the gender convo! from 12-14 i was a pretty staunchly transmed kid. i identified as a transguy for a little over a year, i wore a binder, the whole social transition schtick. how you say you felt like an alien, like you just wanted to be a person, and seeing pretty much only feminine women…. yeah. i oscillate on being angry over it all, so i'm curious if you have any advice on... well, not giving a fuck lol. i admire the sympathy you express. sometimes i feel myself getting more bitter and it's hard not to with people insisting i'm a closet-man for cutting my hair short and old friends cutting me off for insisting on sex-based reality.

AHHH i meant to respond to this earlier but i went to my final and then came home and napped violently immediately afterwards.

as for the advice part i honestly dont know. i think i have been very lucky to not only grow up around other trans people my age from preteen age even to right now who shared a lot of my opinions with me; back in the day, it was like... uniformly insane and delusional to suggest you aren't actually your birth sex or to suggest biological sex doesn't even exist at all. all my current trans and nb friends, both mtf and ftm, are all very reasonable people who think very similarly to me about biological sex and transition (both social and medical) and misogyny and we all talk about it very often. i don't know if it's just because i got lucky or because i was childhood friends with a large portion of them and we developed our thoughts and opinions by bouncing them off of each other or if it's because i'm so outspoken today about misogyny and female liberation and they respect me for speaking about it as much as i do. idk my friends are all very slay and i love them. we openly talk about my detransition and my dysphoria, we talk about the pros and cons of transition and the health problems we have gotten or are scared of getting, talk abt our feelings about gender and society and ourselves very often. i definitely am very lucky. i suppose all i can do is reassure you that not everyone will hate you or cut you off just for expressing your beliefs; when i detransitioned years ago and my opinions on gender changed i was so worried that people would hate me and cut me off, thinking i was hateful or something, but nothing of the sort happened. a few people did but really they were a minority. but again i really am lucky and am surrounded by people who arent crazy and dont deny biological sex and the reality of sex based oppression

as for the sympathy part a few years ago i became really obsessed with figuring out how to experience empathy like a normal person so i didnt feel as broken and now its something i practice everyday and it almost comes naturally. frankly my trans friends understand me in a way that most people dont so i feel very close to them and comfortable around them. i just remind myself that we are all dealing with life in the only ways we know how and nobody exists in a vacuum and all i can do is express how much i care about them and raise any concerns i have about their wellbeing and they can do the same for me. the way i see it, if someone cuts me off and hates me for talking about how sex based oppression is a real issue that affects me and every biologically female person on earth, then they dont deserve to be in my life anyway and wont do me anything but harm if i keep them in my life. it would be for the best i suppose. thats something i stand by very firmly in my life; if i express my core beliefs/values respectfully and honestly and in good faith, and someone decides that they dont want me in their life anymore because of that, then we were incompatible as friends or partners or anything. i dont want to waste my time fighting with people and making myself miserable, i want to focus on the things and causes and people i care about.

i try my best to be patient with people no matter what unless theyre intentionally trying to be disrespectful or hurt me; i know that in most situations, i would love to be given the benefit of the doubt, so i try to do the same for other people. if someone says that me dressing 'like a man' or cutting my hair short or not behaving femininely enough somehow made me not a woman, i just ask them "why?" and see what they really think about it and explain the way i see it to them.

really, the way i cope with it all on a day to day basis is reminding myself that most of the people i come across in my life act the way they act and think the way they think because they truly believe that it is the right thing to do, they live their own lives in a way that they think is good and helpful just like i do. we just may not see eye to eye on what is good and what is helpful and that is just a part of life. there are people whose minds i can change, people who i can inspire and inform, and people who will never ever change their minds no matter what you do or say for them. and i also tell myself that no matter what people think about me and my "gender presentation" and whether or not they think misogyny exists, that has no bearing on what i do with my life. they can be upset with me and they can hate me but i can do whatever i want just like they can.

sorry that was so long i rambled onnnn and on and on. my two biggest pieces of advice: 1) try your hardest to curate your own little bubble and grab onto it as hard as you can and DO NOT LET GO and 2) surround yourself with gnc people (whether they identify as trans or not) who will enthusiastically talk about this stuff with you and share opinions with you. they are out there they exist and i hope you can find them. i would fly you out here to hang out with me and my posse if i could

#>#askbox

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bthump · 10 months

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I wouldnt read berserk in public and i wouldnt watch game of thrones in public on full volume its just about being appropriate not necessarily that there is any issue with violence/sex. I think people are too comfortable viewing art that caters to them. Ultimately art is used to speak on certain truths without necessarily being pleasant. The violent and dark nature of humanity is often not depicted enough and i think the lack of viewership leads to people being less whole in their personality. For example ignoring or denying ones dark nature can lead to more outbursts/repressed emotions causing damage. I dont like or condone the rape, violence or brutality of berserk but i see its value. I like how it portrays reality. People are monsters as well we have serial killers, rapists, and beheadings in our modern world. These are all real things that people deal with and im not sure why that cant be depicted in our media. Some people will not understand this and thats ok but it will be something that you have to deal with if you enjoy dark media. What do you think?

All right I'll answer you once because you went to the trouble of rephrasing this according to my suggestions and I do appreciate that you've been polite about it.

I like a lot of dark fiction, and I like a lot of the darkness of Berserk. Part of the reason I'm a Berserk fan is because it's a dark story with a lot of violence and trauma. I think the rape of women in particular is, however, poorly depicted in Berserk, for a myriad of reasons that I've discussed extensively. Here are some links to things I've previously written on the subject.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to enjoy dark fiction while criticizing it, because it's always reasonable to criticize writing. Sometimes writing(/art) is bad and/or offensive, regardless of what the subject is or whether it happens irl. Depicting the darkness of humanity isn't a get out of jail free card for bad writing. A story can depict something that happens in real life, and it can still be poorly done because of how it's framed by the narrative and the storytelling tools available to the creator, which is how I feel about a lot of the sexual violence in Berserk. And honestly, I personally am actually pretty lenient when it comes to depictions of rape, imo. I certainly don't think it's automatically offensive (and I don't think many people do), and I even think it can be done well in casual, comedic, sexualized, aggressor/bystander-centric, etc contexts (though I def understand why that can be a contentious opinion). But I don't think Miura does it well, most of the time.

It's also reasonable to enjoy some dark things and not others. I understand why someone might enjoy Berserk's sword swinging violence but not its sexual violence, and that's fine. Not everyone should have to "deal with" every form of dark media if they like some forms of it, and I think that phrasing is very dismissive of very real reasons someone might not be willing to read a story featuring a ton of rape, or reasons they might take issue with the particular depiction of rape in that story.

Finally, these things obviously can be depicted in our media, we're discussing a professionally published manga, and your other reference was to one of the most popular tv shows of all time. Some people not enjoying fictional rape or other violence, or criticizing it, isn't a threat to these stories existing. I'm sure there will be plenty of rapey fiction for as long as fiction continues to exist.

And just as a heads up, I'm not interested in having a discussion about this. I'm guessing that we're probably not going to see eye-to-eye on whether Berserk's portrayal of rape is worth criticizing or not, and I'm not interested in convincing anyone of my perspective, so I'm fine with agreeing to disagree on this topic.

#ask #anonymous #a #b #theme: critique #theme: misogyny

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archer3-13 · 2 years

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I think why hubert doesn't do it for me is that outside of the smug evil that falls off him like clouds, he comes across rather one note in a lot of other ways. Like, i wont deny that theres glimpses of something else there, but like so much in fodlan it just kinda sits there uncommented on or really observed in anyway.

longggg under the cut

To sorta point to a relatively striking comparison on the matter, the hxh character of shaiapouf shares a lot of similarities with hubert when it comes to the essential basics. they both pride themselves on being the smart planner of the servants, they're both unrepentantly evil and manipulative when it comes to achieving their goals, and they're both so intently devoted and loyal to a single individual as to stake their entire lifes purposes on making sure their liege is successful and prosperous.

but, aside from the surface level presentations being on opposite ends of the spectrum pouf putting on a show of refined elegance well hubert presents himself as the evil vizier, i think what helps elevate pouf over hubert for me is that pouf gets to experience a lot wider set of emotions and scenarios that help to very strongly define him on a very deliberate level by the narrative. one of the many thematic levers at play in hxh's chimera ant arc is commentary on loyalty, being loyal to a bad person, how loyalty can shift and change because of environment and circumstance, and importantly in poufs case how loyalty can mean different things for different people. pouf is the most fanatical of the chimera ant royal guard, but that fanaticism is to a highly idealized and glamourized ideal of the chimera ant king which causes him to act disloyal and pursue objectives contrary to the kings actual desires because pouf assumes he knows better and has absolute faith in that certainty. that certainty drives him to act in cruel and erratic manners as well if it means securing any advantage possible to achieve his idealized view of the king. its only after being psychically mind linked to the kings feelings does pouf breakdown and accept that the king has his own desires to pursue, dying not long after because of poison still desperately wanting to serve the king because of his inherent nature as a chimera ant royal guard. And thats the element thats missing from hubert really. not poufs exact storybeats mind, but more so that conflict of character with ideals and reality. As others have noted, huberts relation to edelgard is ridiculously one sided compared to other retainers in the game, even when you go down the romantic option for hubert and edelgard where her immediate assumption of huberts confession is that its a joke and their actual end crawl text together being remarkably cordial for people supposedly in love. Yet for someone who routinely goes out of his way to pick the murdery option to further his lieges goals, it never comes up as a point of contention between them that edelgard could give less of a shit about hubert putting so much of himself on the line to further her goals, or even just the implied tendency of the two to disagree on methodology. we dont get much of any insight into how much resentment hubert might be feeling about it all, the implied conflicts of methodology remain firmly in the background and deemphasized as much as the game can, and for a character so willing to go behind his lieges back to further what he thinks is best for them we never really get to see the twos relation thrown into any sort of conflict because of this. one or the other will grumble about the others actions, and then they just keep going regardless.

#fire emblem #hubert #its a shame cause i do wanna like hubert #but like so much of the BEs its all kinda 'head empty no thoughts' with em #that it just puts me off

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simluvbot · 3 years

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Enhypen as dates they would take you on <3

tags: gn!reader, established relationship au, fluff, bf! enha

members: all members !!

wc: 400-800ish for each member ?? this is very long uh I’m sorry I got carried away

a/n: hi, welcome to my first piece of writing on this blog 😁😁 I tried to write so that these matched the members and their personalities the most! Also as this is my first post any interaction is so cherished 🥺 but anyways,, I hope you enjoy :D

open to read

Heeseung

he would take you to so many fun places!!

Your dates would consist of going bowling together, theme parks, a walk in the park — you can count on having a fun time with heeseung!

He would just want to impress you );

He’s be always so attentive to you and remember even the littlest of details about you

You’d be in a shop together looking around and he’ll tap your shoulder, showing you a lace shirt that you instantly fall in love with

It’s just your style!

You’d ask him how he knew you would like it, to which he would simply mumble with, “you told me a few months ago that you like shirts like this.”

You’d just stand in shock like :ooo

Not even you remember telling him that ):

Please he loves you so much, if it’s something that you tell him you like or don’t like, he’ll immediately store it in his memory! He wants to know so much more about you 🥺

Your dates are definitely what you look forward to whenever you see him!!

As much as you love fun day outs with him, you also love your chiller night dates at him <3

Meeting each other late at night after practice? A must!! No way can you let your hee go home alone when he’s the last leaving the practice room after a long day ):<

You would often surprise him by showing up at belift at ungodly hours, and as much as he would scold you with a light frown for coming to see him when it’s already half past midnight,,

You still always catch that small little smile he has whenever you do surprise him hehe

to be aware of just the fact that youre there? is enough for him. you ground him and its especially those spontaneous dates youll throw upon him and inevitably show him without the words uttered that you care for him and you love him?

those are secretley his fave (: but he doesnt have to tell you that - youve already guessed :D

But at the same time on those late night after-practice dates he just wants to make sure that you’re not staying up too late all the time just to make sure he’s doing okay after practice, his y/nnie needs their sleep too ):

And what you’ll do together? Eat ramen of course!!

Although these little late night dates with him usually dont last no longer than an hour, he still treasures them so dearly in his heart ):

Hee sometimes needs a lot of love and assurance, even if he doesn’t mention it

And you’re the best at making him feel better instantly 🥺

but we seriously cant forget about your daytime dates too! each date of yours is always filled with so so many jokes and giggles that your hearts burn with longing for the other whenever you part ways ):

i can see that he’ll even store the memory of your dates even weeks after they’ve happened - he’ll store those memories of you; all in his heart (and the polaroid he took of you in the back of his phonecase 😳) and tucked close.

Jake

as for dates, to me he seems the type to be into really spontaneous and random things!! He’d love going somewhere fun or just simply randomly travelling with you without a destination!

He especially loves to sneak out of the dorm late at night and meet you at you and his favourite park.

It’s located at the top of a really tall hill, and you’ll both spend hours sitting on the swings, chatting away with little care for the rest of the world or the time as you both simply giggle at each other’s jokes and contentedly talk about anything and everything; watching the city lights glow from hundreds of metres below you

He’d offer you his jacket when the temperature drops by a few degrees suddenly

You’d be like no!! It’s okay you should also stay warm, I’m okay 🥺

But then because he is such a sweetheart he’d huff and sit next to you on the swing, making the single-seater far too cramped as he tries to supply you with his body heat if that’s the only way that you’ll accept not freezing to death 😠

But then you’ll both slip due to there not being enough space for both of you on the wing, and your both fall flat down on your butts lmao

You’d both freeze, staring at each other blankly on the floor

but then you’d both crack up and laugh for the longest time — hushing each other in-between giggles from the fear of maybe you were being a bit too loud and could wake some people up?

But then you’d both fall into giggling messes once again as you blame each other for causing the other to fall down ):

You’d eventually sit together huddled on a bench, sitting in silence and simply staring out at seoul’s twinkling night lights as you share his leather jacket: heavy and warm as it drapes across you and his’ shoulders

But eventually you’d both finally head home! — your eyelids soon growing too heavy and both of you afraid of accidentally falling asleep at a park at 1am lmfao

idk why but i can just see a lot of late-night dates with jake,, such as

baking cookies together at 1am???? probably has happened twice already in your relationship aha 😁

honestly you both spend so much time together casually that you end up arguing on whether that time where he randomly showed up at your house wanting to make relationship bracelets together was really a date or not lmao

he is also so <3 so incredibly sweet too though uGH. he is a sweetheart and like heeseung he will remember every little detail of you which will be useful for when he comes up with more date ideas in the future (

on dates such as eating at a restaurant together he will always bring you flowers like the gentleman he is.

it’s kinda funny because when youre both on a date together alone with no other people around you both become complete crackheads

but when meeting in front of others he acts so mature and serious suddenly lmao ??

but honestly he just trusts and loves you so so much that he doesnt even feel like he needs to act a certain way or try to become someone complteley different on a date just to impress you

but its okay because you love the duality of jake sim <3

someone get me him pls. i want one </3

Jay

With jay, shopping dates ??? yes of course (;

he’d simply love taking you out either down a road with many well-known clothing brands or maybe even the mall, entering several clothing stores with you

he never mentions it, but its obvious how much he simply adores seeing you wear the clothes he picks out for you :D

oh and matching couple outfits are obviously always chosen whenever you go out on these fashion dates!!

he will pick out a selection of items he thinks will look good on you, and - to admit it to himself: he does a pretty good damn job

tell me why this boy will get so flustered whenever he sees you walk out of the changing room,, looking so pretty in what he chose for you ??

he’d also one day surprise you on a date with matching couple bracelets :D

you’ll get so excited and he’ll get so shy and try to hide his smile as you compliment how good his sense of style is !! and as much as he denies the fact that he’s blushing you luckily do manage to snap some pics as evidence of the rosy colour in his cheeks hehe

and especially earlier on in the relationship, he’ll always try his best and prepare cute little dates for you both )): and the members would tease him to DEATH for how unbelievably soft and considerate he is when doing things for you when he is so cranky towards them lmfao

chill dates (:

walking in the park together, getting ice cream, going for late night drives and listening to music together </3 with jay it never has to be complicated

Just as long as he gets to be with you, talk with you and touch you then that’s more than enough for him (: he just likes to be in your company

and Idk why I can just see this but he wILL have playground dates with you. dont question it

Because like ?? hanging out on the swings or climbing frame of a kids park at 11PM when there’s no one else there but you both?? Talking and swinging quietly next to each other? very romantic to me hmm

Yes <3

he will stare at you as he silently swings a back and forth a little; brushing the hair out of your face and looking at you with so so much love in his eyes it’s unbelievable

he especially loves just relaxing with you. watching a show on the tv together while cuddling and staying close to each other is something he loves

hearing your giggles and listening to you talk while engaging in teasing banter where he’ll pretend to think the things you say are stupid by scoffing and rolling his eyes when in reality his heart is swelling and he’s trying so hard not to laugh at how cute you are?

shut UP

those are definitely one of his favourite types of dates with you

he’ll constantly try to impress you and will be willing to try so many different things with you

i can see him as either being openly interested about going on typical couple dates together such as painting or eating at romantic restaurants,, or every time you mention something of the sort he’ll be groaning at yet another mention of the ‘couple bucket list’ you had created lol

but actually he’s secretly really excited for that couple mug-painting session you booked for you both. but he will never tell you that 😳

in conclusion, with jay it really never has to be something complex for you both to enjoy your dates <3 he just loves being in your company, even if its one of those nights where you both share no words between the cuddling and content sighs and various little soft kisses he presses to your forehead.

sunghoon

with sunghoon gOSH

whatever you two get up to, it’d be so so soft and gentle and perfect and just ):

he would always ask the members what to take you out on as a date and you bet his naver search history would consist of questions like ‘what does my s/o like’ and ‘where should i take out my partner on a date’ lmao

he just wants to make you happy and comfy ):

dates with him are usually really cute!! Like going to cafes, going ice skating etc!

But you’d also love those dates at home with him, giggling shyly as you both sit together and watch a film 🥺

he LOVES those dates! he always gets so shy whenever he comes over and it takes him a little while to get comfortable enough with you to even hold your hand pls

So when he one day pulls you in closer from where you’re sitting side by side on the couch,, bringing you closer and tucking you under his arm ??

You’re so so surprised, and you feel your heart clench a little at how gentle he is with you and how he’s finally opening up ):

And from then on,, he only will become more and more comfortable with you!!! To the point where he’ll start pouting a lil when you don’t snuggle up next to him on the sofa like you usually do );

So cuddle dates with hoon? Yes you bet they’re his fave!!

and then when its quickly approaching your 100 days anniversary, he’ll be wracking his brains for so long trying to decide what to do for you

but then it will hit him like a light bulb switching on!

he’ll suddenly remember you mentioning this specific thing that you really liked and would want to do one day, and guess what he would plan for u both!!

he’d prepare 💔💔 a picnic 💔💔 for you 💔💔

ugh youre so lucky

he’d text you the day before your anniversary telling you to expect to go on a date with him the day after and to dress up prettily :D

he’d wake up super early on the day of the date, preparing all of your favourite foods and meals into a cute lil basket ):

and when you finally both meet at a really rEALLY pretty secluded area that you somehow had no idea existed despite you living in the area for so long - you’d maybe start tearing up??

because your boyfriend is so so sweet and you never saw this coming from him at all ):

and he’d just stand there shyly in front of the picnic he set up, hand at the back of his head and looking down; cute lil blush tainting his cheeks from how nervous he is!

but then you’d run over and give him a big, big hug, exxclaiming how much you appreciate what he did for you and how youre so so incredibly sorry for not bringing him something as well to celebrate your anniversary (you were dying inside fo guilt please!! how could u forget to get him something when he went out of his way like this for you )): )

but he’d simply shake his head, smiling and not minding at all

because if he gets to see you happy, gets to see those twinkling eyes of yours that just stare up at him with so so much love before bringing him in for a sweet kiss - then he simply doesnt mind at all.

r u crying at this like i am lol

sunoo

sunoo absoloutely adores you.

and he cant stay away from you !! lmao

you’ll leave after a date and ten minutes after youve arrived you’ll get a text from him saying how much he already misses you and wants to see his bun again ):

but its okay!! because y’all would meet up again really soon again :D

sunoo really doesnt mind what you both do together, he just loves being in your company !! if he’s doing something with you, its certain that he will have so much fun and be so so comfy!

you often like to go to cinemas together, watching a film

film/drama marathons are also something that you both do very very often as a date! he loves it when you hug him tight and throw a leg over his as you both lie down in his dorm bed/your bed, watching something on your laptop

he is very very cuddly and whenever you both do have cuddle dates/sessions (which is all the time btw) he’ll like it when you absentmindedly play with his fingers or stroke your hands through his hair soothingly

and then he’ll complain and whine when you stop lmao

seriously though, without a question if either of you meet at either his dorm or your house - its always: ‘so what are we gonna watch?’

he also likes doing very very cute couple-y activities with you! of course he does,, youre his baby ):

(he’s more YOUR baby actually - but he doesnt need to know about that shh hehe)

funfair dates where you will go on a ferris wheels and eat cotton candy together? sharing a kiss when you reach the top? yes! and so is going to those sets designed for couples to take cute photos together as a lil photoshoot!

he is so so sweet with you ):

and has it been mentioned yet that you’ll go on food dates? this is a very obvious date you both do very often !!

going to food markets and trying out different street foods from different vendors? yes.

having mini dates at the korean convinience store late at night where you’ll both sit by the window and eat tteokbokki & ramen together? yes.

its all honestly really really chill, but he also knows when to be serious when he needs to (:

he’ll take you out to the your favourite restaurants often!

and whenever youre celebrating something he’ll take you to a really good and famous restaurant with mouth-watering food, and you’ll be left wondering for the longest time how on earth he managed to get a seat in since its always so booked

or ordering take-out is good too :D

in conclusion (because i just realised how long this is help 😭): dates with sunoo are always a variety of fun activities which always leave you feeling tired yet so, so happy and content at the end of the day !!

he loves you so much <3

Jungwon

Since you both go to the same school, a lot of your little dates are actually spent there

He’s pretty shy with you at times,, but when you’re both alone it’s then that dates with him are usually so so goofy and silly; days filled with his teasing and your eye rolls and giggles.

Meeting at the rooftop before school to simply talk and giggle and drink chocolate milk? Yes.

Staying after school for small study sessions in the library? Yes.

With jungwon, you’re not able to see him as much between school and him being an idol, so every little moment together means so much to both of you ):

To me jungwon also seems like a cuddler!!! cause like?? Have you seen him ?? Tell me he doesn’t look so soft

So, dates at home when he’s free where you can both cuddle together in your bed while eating and doing homework? They’re so so cosy,, and definitely your favourite kinda dates!! not to mention that your parents absolutely adore him too

With jungwon, lots of lil spontaneous dates are definitely his and yours trademark (‘:

He’ll turn up at your house randomly with a grin and dimple poking at his cheek, holding a bag of convenience store food and asking you if you want to go on a date with him even if it’s 10pm and dark outside lmfao

And then he’ll take you to an arcade!

You’ll be the only ones there and he’s keep flexing about how he’s going to win you this cat plush from the claw machine because he says it looks like him

He’d try several times and end up spending almost 8,000 won on the machine trying to win you this plush and at this point he’s already making up several excuses about how oh, ‘it’s rigged’ or ‘give me one more chance I will get it this time!!’

You’d giggle at how he grows flustered, gently asking him if you could have a go for fun, sighing and with him and agreeing on the fact that the claw machine is definitely rigged

You’d complain together; scolding the machine and asking it to please be nice and stop ruining your date when it’s then that the claw actually picks up a plush and you’re both like ;oo

You’d both stay stood in shock as the cat plush is dropped into the receiving box, before laughing loudly

He’d stand there flustered, blush tainting his cheek before he just walks away 🚶🏻‍♂️

You’d quickly pick up the cat plush and chase after him, giggles tumbling out your lips

and uhm after that you beTTER go check up on your boy and see if his ego wasnt too damaged by that 😤

so of course you’d wrap your arms around him from behind, tucking your face into the back of his neck ): and pressing gentle kisses where you know he’s ticklish until he finally relents, a small grin and dimple lighting up his face

and phEW because you thought he was upset ): but he laughs and says youre better at the claw machine than he is so,, all good dont worry !! 🥺

It’d end up being him taking the cat plush home, which you both name ‘jungwon-two’ because of how much it actually looks like him 😭

Expect many references and inside jokes to that date and jungwon-two in the future

and tbh you love dates with won so so much. theyre so fun plus they’re always secret.

and whenever you’re out doing whatever the hell you both get up to,

It’s like there is no one else in the world. It’s just you, and him, and the blooming you both feel in your chests.

Niki

I don’t know but I can just see niki as being so romantic

You’re both young, and although niki is the biggest dork and always likes to play around and make jokes 24/7 - he’s also so mature compared to the other boys your age

So would he take you out to a date where he’d set up classically romantic candles and rose petals for you both to eat at for your 1 month anniversary? Yes ):

And you’d be so speechless and shocked as you blush quietly and thank him before he‘s accidentally knocking over his glass of water all over the table cloth and you’re laughing out loud

But expect every other date with him to be filled with so so much food and comfort!

He’d feel so comfy around you, and really the only word he thinks is perfectly able to describe you is home. He thinks you feel like home to him.

So he’d show you all of this favourite things, the things closest to his heart and you can’t help but feel your own heart clench at how much you adore this boy

He’d take you out to traditional Japanese restaurants and show you his favourite foods from back home and teach you the customs of how to eat sushi

You’d 100% be so so interested and excited whenever he reveals to you a vulnerable part of him, and he’d stare at you so lovingly as he kisses your cheek, blushing and smiling like the 15 year old he is

Ugh ): niki ):

Dance dates!!

You claim you can’t dance to save your life LMFAO (or maybe you can 😳?) but he only grins shyly instead as he takes you to a small dance studio he rented (he didn’t want to take you the belift building where there would be other people - he’d want you to feel completely comfortable).

You’d simply stand there with your mouth dropped open as you watch him freestyle to a random song he put on like it’s nothing

You’d spend the day getting taught some moves by him and although you’re sure you look like a cat getting electrocuted, he still smiles and nods and even claps, giving you compliments and teasing remarks

Overall, dates with niki are so so fun and goofy and perfect. You feel your heart swell every time he takes you out on another little adventure, feeling so complete and carefree between his warm hugs, jokes and words that he has to say to you

(’:

#enhypen headcanons #enhypen fluff #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fic #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen jake #enhypen ot7 #enhypen sunoo #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jungwon #kpop imagines

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strawberrybabydog · 3 years

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hello fellow puppy ^_^ i couldn't find anyone else who is a dog that wasn't a kin so can i ask how do i know if i'm just a furry, have a strong kin or if i'm delusional? i am a dog and i 100% believe i am + i have psychotic disorders but calling myself kin feels very wrong

hey!!! im not a professional obvs so im just gna talk abt my own experience and take what u will from it ig!! i hope this helps u

also i may not be otherkin but i consider myself closer to the alterhuman community than to other communities and i have extensive knowledge of otherkin and alterhuman related topics as well as things from other communities im not a part of but are... related!

anyways, disclaimers aside. its important first to define exactly what these things you mentioned are before i talk about how i came to be a dog.

furries are characters, plain and simple. just anthropomorphic OCs. furries (people behind the characters) only cosplay really, and although their characters can be part of their identity, they do not consider themselves their fursonas. I dont really know what "strong kin" means because when it comes to otherkinity, its kind of like that potato joke: "everything in the entire universe either is or isnt a potato." you cant be a little bit of a potato or half of a potato, you either are or arent. Otherkinity is the same. By definition and similar experiences, I am actually a therian. I just have an uncommon cause, and prefer to use individual labels for myself. I call myself a human-bodied dog, because my caninity comes before my humanity. I call myself a lycanthrope to reclaim and repurpose an old therian term, to now mean "alterhuman or nonhuman person whose cause or root is delusional."

I replied to a post just last night asking me "whats the difference between a delusional alterhuman vs. a nondelusional alterhuman? how do you know the difference?" and in short, i said: the same way you know youre not delusional.

the long answer is a lot longer and more personal but this is how i know: Ive experienced delusions my entire life. theyve changed as ive gotten older, but ive always been delusional. around when i was 16, i had a friend whistle to get his dog's attention, but i also snapped my neck to look at him right away and he commented on how much i looked like a dog when that happened. after that he wanted to explore pet regression with me because i struggle with *ge r*gression as a symptom of trauma, and we figured it wouldnt hurt to try to train my brain into something less harmful. my brain took this and ran. my brain thought, "all of this dog stuff comes too naturally. i think i am a dog." and over the years the delusion has just gotten stronger and now is involuntary and simply, i am puppie. a bit unrelated but we also know its a delusion because my partner often remarks that even the way i look around i look like a dog, or other subtle traits. my brain also thinks i have a dog body as evideny by my horrible spacial awareness and balance. its a symptom of my brain fully, subconsciously, involuntarily believing i am not a human.

anyone who struggles with delusions know that theyre a slippery slope. to my brain, if someone says something with enough authority, my brain cant tell the difference between it and reality, and involuntarily accepts it as truth. such us the case with my caninity. basically i was technically imprinted.

also like, ive always said this but its up to the individual and their therapist (permit they have one, if not please use your best judgement! also read up on clinical lycanthropy and other delusional misidentification syndromes) whether to indulge in delusions and accept them as part of your identity or not. if you know this could get really bad really fast, or its already harmful to you/others, its best to deny the feelings. for me this isnt the case & im perfectly safe to accept the delusion.

sorry for the crazy long post. also i have super disorganized thoughts and speech sometimes (also psychosis! thanks psychosis ♡) so hopefully this all makes sense, but if you have more questions or need clarification, ask box is always open!

play nice, pup! ☆

#psychosis #delusions #lycan #asks #anonymous

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h0neyjaehyun · 3 years

Text

☁︎ 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 ☁︎

Summary // WinWin is feeling uncertain that Tali likes him, but then finds reassurance after sometime with her.

Characters // Talia Flores + Dong Sicheng (ft Taeyong, Mention: Jisung, Chenle, 127 members)

Era / Year // January 2017

Word Count //

Italics: Chinese

Its obvious EVERYONE loves WinWin, everyone is whipped for him, even Jaehyun who is a person who doesn't do skinship that much. But all the fans wonder...why doesn't Tali swoon over him.

For example Tali gushes over Chenle and Jisung a lot. Mostly because they are younger but she also does to the older members like Taeyong. So they always wonder why doesn't she gush over WinWin like Taeil or Yuta does even Mark. Like if WinWin does something cute, she just smiles and moves on. For a moment the fans thought Tali and WinWin had beef but that was debunked when WinWin was clinging on to her during a music show.

Its even shown WinWin purposely acting cute infront of her or just making eye contact and her just smiling at him and then going back to what she was doing. Then the members laugh him sulking when she doesnt give him much of a reaction and Taeil and Yuta comfort him.

Tali is known to not be charmed easily for example the amount of times she gets shown aegyo to, it has been to the point she doesn't show much of a reaction. If you want to her to fall for an aegyo make Chenle do it and she just for some reason can't deny him. Which makes WinWin sad, he feels like he did something wrong for her not to acknowledge him as much as the others. So usually you see him try to get her attention or him clinging on to her like a half backhug or holding her hand. Which makes Taeil and Yuta jealous of her honestly.

But in reality, Tali LOVES WinWin she really does, its just she has noticed he doesn't like to be smothered or clinged on to he seems uncomfortable and she thinks that since she is a girl be would be more uncomfortable with her hugging him so she doesn't.

He didn't really know what to do so he went to a person he could trust...

"Hyung."

Taeyong looked back and saw a sad WinWin.

"Hey whats wrong?" He asked and went to him and sat him down.

"Do you think Tali likes me...she seems not to." He said pouting, and it took all of Taeyong's power not to squish him.

"No, no ,no Tali loves you of course-"

"Then why doesn't she act like she does when she is with Jaehyun, or Haechan?" He said with sadness.

Taeyong huffed, he knows for a fact Tali loves him, but he also doesn't know why she just doesn't gush over him like the rest.

"I-...I know she loves you Sicheng, she does, but I don't know why she doesn't treat you like the others, you are gonna have to ask her yourself." Taeyong reassured him.

WinWin has always been comfortable with Tali like asking her for stuff and her knowing Chinese helped a lot. But he always felt that he wasn't in her heart. He just nodded her head and left...at that moment Taeyong felt powerless to help his friend.

That exact same day Tali went live...

"Huh?"

LOveWinWin: why don't you love WinWin??

Tali looked at it weirdly.

"I do like WinWin, what makes you think I don't?" She frowned

Winwin45: cause you never really give him that much attention and etc.

The fan clear up, Tali made an :0 face. While other fans were trying to reassure her that its was fine. She smiled at them.

"Its okay its fine, you guys are probably wondering too, I do like WinWin don't worry." she giggled

"Its just he is not a big fan of skinship, then Im like the only girl which I think, I think would make him more uncomfortable you know?" She said explaining why, and emphasizing the I think.

"I just don't wanna cross the line since everyone is different." She clarified

All then fans were like oh okay, that makes sense.

Tali looked at her phone and saw it was late.

"Ah, sorry guys its late and I would like to leave before dark, bye everyone~" She waved by to everyone and ended the live.

She quickly started packing her things since its was running late, then she heard the door open and she looked up and saw someone she wasn't expecting.

"Oh, hey WinWin." She smiled at the shy boy. He waved at walked to her, he looked like he was about to say something but hesitated.

"Is there something wrong?" She gave him a worried look and he shook his head no.

"Then whats wrong?"

".....you don't hate me?"

Tali's heart sank when he said that.

"Oh no no, of course I don't, even if I did I don't have a reason to." She smiled at him sadly.

"So you-"

"No, I dont hate you, the reason I don't hug you and etc is because is because you seem so un-"

She was cut off by his tight hug.

"Thank you...I was so worried I did something wrong or said something...thank you."

"Oh noo, I care about you sooo much and honestly I don't think you can ever change that." She hugged him back.

"And by the way you can hug me all you want I won't get uncomfortable...i-"

"No yeah I will no problem."

She cut him off quickly already knowing what he was gonna say...

promise.

He was caught off guard but just smiled and thought nothing of it.

"Hey let me walk you home it looks dark already."

"Oh you don't ha-."

WinWin gave her a pleading look, she huffed and nodded her head. He gave her a big smile, they started to go back home until he got an idea.

"Hey, lets stop at the store, I wanna buy you a snack."

"Oh noo, you don-"

"Nope, I wanna spoil you, I wanna get close to our only female member so, indulge me." He dragged her, while she was shaking her head.

They got some sodas, chips, and ingredients to make a chocolate cake.

"Are you sure? I can pay atleas-" She was cut of by doe eyes staring right at her. She huffed.

"Okay okay..."

He smiled and back hugged her with joy. They got to the dorms and they started baking.

"O-okay where do we start?"

"Uh....okay get me....two bowls...and 2 whisks...yeah."She seems unsure, but really wanted it to work out not to waste WinWins money.

"You sure?"

Tali looked at him and looked at the ingredients infront of her.

"Ah, no, this is where google comes in."

She took out her phone, while WinWin laughed at her. She smiled shaking her head.

"Ah okay lets...." and she started giving instructions, they somehow successfully made the batter and now had put it in the oven.

"Thats...was way harder then its should have been."

"Agreed" Tali huffed.

"Lets clean so Taeyong won't scold us when he wakes randomly."

"Randomly?"

"Yeah, sometimes he wakes up randomly, Im planning to go to the pharmacy tomorrow morning and get some melatonin so he can get proper sleep." She said while she started to clean.

"Tali.."

"Yeah."

"Do you get enough sleep at night too?"

Tali was caught off guard, she looked at him weirdly.

"Yeah of course-"

"Then how do you know?"

She didn't know what to say. Its true, insomnia has been taking over her lately aswell.

"Tali~ after this lets put you to sleep ok?"

"Ah no you don't ha-". The timer rang for the cake, she quickly grabbed the mittens and got the cake out and put it on the cooling rack. While WinWin was looking at her with sad eyes.

She turned around to him.

"Tali...you can sleep in my room I will sleep on the couch." He tried to negotiate so she would sleep, since the cake is out and they could finish it tomorrow.

"Ah no, I cant.."

"No take my bed."

"No."

"Yes."

They looked at each other then Tali ran for the living room. Winwin held her back before she could get to the door frame and they were laughing while wrestling. Winwin somehow got on the couch before Tali and Tali was just standing beside him pouting.

"Nooo, WinWin~ let me sleep on the couch."

"Nope." He shook his head cutely.

"Okay, how about this, how about me and you sleep on the bed..or both on the couch, cause there is no way I'm letting you sleep here." She whined while pouting. He went soft for her cause how can he not with that face.

"Fine." He sighed

He got up and Tali smiled in victory.

"But tell no one that we slept in the same-"

"Can se cuddle?"

She asked hoping he would say yes, it was rare for her to ask, she mostly asked because she knew the bed was alittle small.

"Sure...wait this is the first time I will ever cuddle you."

"Is...that a problem?"

"Nope, come on I will treasure this." He shook his head.

They went in bed and she layed her head on his chest and surprisingly they both fell asleep really quick.

To WinWin there was something about Tali he feels so relaxed around her, like home, so cuddling together was quite peaceful.

The next day came and Taeil barged in wanting attention from WinWin but instead got greeted by Tali and WinWin cuddling.

He yelled loudly which woke up WinWin but surprisingly not Tali.

"Whats wrong." WinWin said with a raspy voice, still holding on to Tali in a protective manner.

Everyone barged in worried.

"What's wrong?!" Taeyong asked worried why the oldest yelled, then they saw a half awake WinWin holding a sleeping Tali. They all sighed in relief it was just that and some glared at Taeil.

"What?"

"Why did you scream?" Johnny asked while some where leaving back to their room to sleep. The people that stayed were Yuta from shock that WinWin and Tali were cuddling and Taeyong also wanting an answer.

"I wasn't expecting Tali and WinWin in the same bed okay? She's not that affectionate with him." He reasoned. The two just shook their head and went back to bed. Yuta still looking at the two, he decided to take pictures.

"Now this is gonna be a memory."

#nct #nct 2020 #nct dream #nct additional member #nct 127 #nct tali #nct u #nct au #nct dream 8th member #nct 24th member #nct female addition #nct female member #nct female oc #nct taeyong #nct winwin #nct taeil #nct johnny

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socialistsooner420 · 3 years

Text

lately i been seeing a lot of misinformation goin around regarding opositions to marijuana legislation as well as misconceptions of cancer that are just boiling my blood.

i think as both a cancer patient and as a marijuana consumer the most irritating arguments against weed are "THEY DONT REALLY CURE CANCER YA KNOW???"

yeah, i do know. if that were the case i wouldn't have cancer in the first place. but do you know what marijuana DOES do for us cancer patients? heres a little bit of perspective of what we have to struggle with

having cancer is not just "you have [x amount of time] left to live". thats only in the movies, its never as cut and dry as that. the sad truth is there's a LOT of uncertainty in the entire process, from discovering somethings wrong/finding the tumor, having the courage to go to the doctor and explain everything to them, having to endure many invasive, PAINFUL tests, waiting for the results (took 2 weeks to get mine back), then you have to figure out how tell your loved ones. Ya know what helped ease my panic during all that overwhelming shit? marijuana

fun fact: a lotta people leave when ya tell em ya got cancer! its an extremely depressing reality we have to face. a lot of people compare drug additcs to cancer patients, the joke usually being "you can yell at a person who got addicted to drugs, they chose that! but you cant make fun of a cancer patient, because they didnt!" well, unfortunately, people can and do "make fun" (more like bullying....) of us. people DO scream at us. for example: when i told my mom my diagnosis, she screamed at me, as if i chose to have cancer. she asked me "how could i do this to HER?". So not only is cancer a grueling painful process, its also stressful, confusing, heartbreaking, uncertain, overwhelming, and fucking DEPRESSING. Marijuana helps me get my mind off of all that. Instead of the constant thoughts such as "when will this cancer finally kill me so i can stop being such a huge burden on my family?" i can give my mind a rest and think happy thoughts instead.

a lot of cancers cause supressed appetites. thats why a lot of us are extremely underweight and gaunty. marijuana helps us regain our appetites and not have to starve and waste away! it also helps keep us at a consistent weight, another really dangerous problem for us.

In addition to having difficulty putting food down, its also hard for us to keep our food down. our supressed appetites come with the extra pain of extreme nausea and vomiting, which oh hey! personal experience i had today; i violently threw up 8 times in a row after only eating a bag of chips (supressed appetites make it VERY hard to eat actual meals), and i thought i was going to drown in my own vomit because i couldn't stop and breathe. i didnt smoke first 🤔 but i drank plenty o water and smoked some marijuana afterwards, and wouldnt ya know, no more nausea, and i was able to keep my next snack down.

cancerous tumors often become inflamed, randomly and for indefinite amounts of time. i cannot even begin to explain the unbearable pain it causes. it feels like there's a giant ball of itchy fire inside your body. Marijuana helps the inflammation go down and relaxes the body.

in addition to inflammations, tumors are just naturally painful. its a mass growing exponentially inside your body, compressing your internal organs, LITERALLY STRETCHING YOUR SKIN, and literally an extra weight to carry around. You know what can safely help take that pain away, without all the shitty side effects for pain medications such as oxys/percs (which is what they had me on before Oklahoma passed Medical Marijuana legislation)? Marijuana. Marijuana helped the pain better than oxy or percs, and Marijuana certainly didnt force me to become bedridden and sleep 20 hrs a day like oxys/percs did

Speaking of sleep, trying to sleep with cancer is also difficult. the pressure of anything even remotely close to your tumor area. I had a massive tumor in my breast that was almost 5 POUNDS, and even my shirt touching it hurt. imagine sleeping with a bowling ball extremely poorly ducktaped tightly to your chest. Thats what I had to do. you know what helped me sleep though?

you guessed it!

Medical Marijuana

there's so many more benefits that it has for different cancer types, as well as other ailments, but i wont go further because that would take forever to list. my point here though is that no medical marijuana advocate is saying its the end all cure all, just that there are many people that it could help who we're denying in favor of big pharmas opiod crisis.

its just plain ignorant and legitimately harmful to the people marijuana could benefit to deny that it helps sick people, especially cancer patients.

im so sick of hearing shit like "well pot ruined my sons life, now he's unemployed and plays video games all day" like bitch do you think i fucking care??

marijuana literally SAVED and continue to save my god damn life every day. its not pots fault you raised a shitty son with no rules or boundaries, i also know plenty of recreational smokers who hold down jobs and are well off, so its not weeds fault yr sons a loser.

im just glad oklahoma has pretty much the most liberal weed laws in the US. sq788 passed right after my surgery and i was so happy that finally i could legally and SAFELY get the medication that i had to do illegally for so long.

im ending my rant with this screencap of my favorite arch of archer when he had breast cancer which obviously hit close to home with me.

me too, archer, me too.

#ill.txt #rant #medical marijuana #marijuana #cancer #keep yr politics outta my medicine #legalize it #ok 2 rb if u want idc

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roscgcld · 3 years

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i wanna give my two cents on the whole nsfw content!!

i dont mind it really i actively indulge in it myself so i can really get on it too much especially since it something that you just cant stop no matter like if its on the internet there’s gonna be p*rn of it 😭😭

my only issue is like when some people kind of get upset with you when you say you shouldn’t make nfsw content bout minors characters like i never thought i’d ever be in situations where im virtually getting my ass beat for saying “hey isnt it kind of weird to write bout fucking that 15 y/o” and they always respond with “well its fiction!” “its not real” “well i aged them up” and like okay that’s still a 15 y/o at the end of the day so what now baby 😭😭

its especially upsetting with jjk cause like gege has mentioned that he doesn’t want any sexual related content bout his main trio but click on the jjk x reader tag on here and the first thing you see is probably gonna be smut about his main trio idk its really wild to me and ik i cant force everyone to stop but its still makes me feel icky yknow

but yeah thats all i wanted to say sorry if this was kind of vent-y i just been thinking about this recently and i had a lot to say 😭😭

- L anon

I think it depends on how you see it.

For example, for me, I know there is no way to deny that smut is widespread here. And for me, I do not mind if something is written for minors if they are written in an aged-up scenario because to me, JJK and any cinematic universe (regardless of country), is just a fictional reality of a sort. Where whatever is done in that world stays in that realm of 'reality'. Also - some mangas and animes have time skip eras too - so characters can be written in that sense as well.

Before you say "oh but fiction affects reality" - that is not a fully valid argument in a sense. Many fully legal and normal people can tell the difference between what is reality and what is fiction. It is also why people who write 'dark content' will always encourage underage readers to not interact or read their works because they are worried that people who cannot differentiate people between 'real life' and 'fictional life' will start to develop their own twisted version of what is acceptable in society and what isn't.

Hence why JJK is for readers who are 16 and above - because this is around the age where you learn where the lines of 'fiction' and 'reality' starts and ends. And the people who usually can't differentiate that already have a set of issues going on with themselves, so this is where the phrase 'the consumer controls what they consume' come into play - because at the end of the day, you, as the consumer, is the one in charge of what you consume and how you choose to understand the content in your own way. Of course, there are a few who slip through the cracks, but that small majority should not be the reason as to why you ostracize an entire community who writes/produces content that is 'questionable' in terms of your own individual morals/what we are used to consuming in media. It's an art form that some people chose to use to express themselves, and it isn't harming anyone.

But this also comes down to the reader - for example, I am 19 years old. I am a legal adult in many countries, and I should not be pining over a 15-year-old child because hello; that is illegal lol. So while I know in the canon material, which I think JJK is sent in 2018 (which is an entire argument on its own), I should not be like lowkey simping for these people. But in my head, I keep thinking they are of my age? Like when I read JJK I forget that the main trio and the second years are high school students? Because the content doesn't necessarily follow the entire high school education and such? It's a trope that is used in the storyline, but the high school itself does not play a huge role in the story besides the titles given to characters, their uniforms, and how they are referred to by other characters in a sense? You know what I mean - like the high school is just a 'home base' that the characters return to, but if you take the high school aspect out, I don't necessarily think it affects the main storyline too much.

And I know Gege-sensei means well when he says he does not want people to lewd his main trio and such, but I think at the same time he knows he can't stop it. There are obviously people who are going to respect his wishes, and there are others who had no idea (like me, like I had no idea he said that 0-0) that will not know that, and will write it because they personally want to.

Plus, not gonna lie, Japan anime/manga culture and the unofficial comic books that are essentially manga fanfiction can get quite lewd and PG18 as well - so in a sense whenever you produce a body of work, I don't think you can expect it not to be lewded. It's bad, since it makes it feel like I am invalidating the creator's wish, but coming from a very like common sense and practical point of view, there is no way you can stop everyone from doing what they want in a way. You can advise and you can tell them nicely, but there are always people who are just going to do what they want.

So might as well just respect them and their decision on how they want to express their creativity, and if it is not hurting anybody, I don't see an issue with it.

#roscgcld asks #roscgcld rants #L nonnie #jujutsu kaisen #jjk

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sanstropfremir · 3 years

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excited to see what you have to say about todays episode cause like the other person said, the stunts from the atz/skz/btob also looked lowkey awkward to watch lmao. i feel like the dance part cant really be judged against each other just based on how different they were. also the ikon/sf9/tbz rap performance was much more khiphop inspired while skz/atz/btob were basically "kpop group's rapline does a unit stage" if you know what i mean lmao. im curious to see if you're going to talk about the judges and how some of them were picked solely to have exposure👀 or if there might be a reasoning behind all of them (the dance girl i understand but like... okay)

also, i have to ask if you watched rtk and if you'd feel comfortable sharing who you think should've won/if the boyz deserved it? as a deobi i know its not that big of a deal but i was lowkey proud and stunned by them during rtk and while i think they're doing good on kingdom too, their performances became way too overwhelming/doesn't leave an impression after for my little brain 🙃 i love them tho. also not that you care but i wish they would represent more their full dance line, because juyeon is doing amazing but it can be mentally and physically tiring to be the ONE guy who does all the dance and center parts, like do it as a trio or smt dont push it all on him while there are ten others on the team

i hope you enjoyed my (very) long review and my apparently literally opposite opinions from everyone else! that’s a lie they’re not opposite, i'm just looking at very different things. thank you for also clocking that the performance stages were two different styles! i'm fairly certain the rankings arent out yet for that stage at least, so i'm not envious of the judges having to decide between two performances that are pretty much on opposite ends of the spectrum. also i did make a mistake in my review, i just watched the first half of the episode and they do in fact call it the dance stage, so that’s on me. my point still stands though, group dancing is still dancing.

as far as the judges go........why are we upset about them.....? honestly they all seem fine to me. i mean, i can understand people being pressed about s*ju because they make people mad by just existing, apparently, but that doesnt negate the fact that they have nearly two decades of experience in the industry. if they arent going to have changmin do any judging than they might as well get some other sm vets, since yanno, they did kinda establish the industry (sm, not s*ju. although s*ju is the first kpop group i ever remember hearing way back in like, 2008. in canada. before having a personal device with internet access. sooooooo). and i mean, we all have opinions on the separation of art and artist and everyone can draw their own boundaries of who they choose to consume the work of, and that’s valid. i have lots of those lines too. but you can’t deny the sheer amount of experience, and shindong is a director and music video producer, so he ain’t stupid. i dont see any problems with having a lineup of some idol veterans, a frankly incredible choreographer, and some producers. oh wait, are people mad about the rookies????? why are people mad about the rookies?????????????? huh????????????? have people forgotten that rookies spend literal YEARS training before they even debut??? they’re not incompetent, they’re members of the industry that have worked hard to be there and have valid opinions and abilities to recognize what they think is good?? also.......what’s wrong with doing something for exposure? how do you think groups get popular in the first place? fuck, the prize for kingdom is a variety/reality show! which is exposure! you know that’s how arts marketing works, right? if you want people to listen to your music, you have to advertise it to people. you need an audience. if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it sell thousands of albums? thousands of tickets? why are you invalidating artists on the basis of wanting more exposure? are you worried they’re not going to ‘judge fairly’??? you know none of these groups' reputations are going to be hurt by their placement in the show, right. these are all high level groups already, with established brand rep. THEY are doing this show for exposure too. is this what people are complaining about on twitter?? so every stan account promoting fancams and comeback dates under hit tweets has to delete them now because artists aren’t allowed to do anything for exposure anymore. ?????? am i too old??? what happened to make people think that exposure was bad???

i have only watched the stages from rtk, and not while the show was airing, so i dont really have any context for the show as a whole. do i think they deserved to win? i dont really think anyone ‘deserves’ to win a competition show, but they did produce a couple of phenomenal stages, so was i surprised? no. personally i would have picked pentagon because they had the best vocals and also they took a few more conceptual risks that paid off really well. their cover of follow is a fantastic remake and honestly we need more dramatic remakes like that, ones that really change up the sound. i made a couple of conclusions about tbz in my episode four review that are relevant here (they’re at the end of the tbz section). although tbz are good performers, the problem is theyre trying to showcase those skills by being heavily conceptual, but their creative team is ALL over the place and nothing is landing. I dont think they’re doing terrible in kingdom, they’re doing very well, but their creative team is not providing them with a stable conceptual base. i know i make designing sound relatively simple, but it's not at all. i'm just smart and very good at my job. there are a lot of mediocre designers out there, and tbz just do not have a good creative team for kingdom. and i do actually think it's a shame that they’re fronting juyeon so much, because one of their strengths IS their group work. they have a more of a contemporary flavour than most other groups at the moment and they can do some really sharp synchronization that should to be seen more. i wish they had actually done group work for the performance stage, because we’ve already seen juyeon do a solo stage, plus he has solos in all the stages. give him a break and let the others have a chance to do something at least.

#kingdom #the boyz #kpop analysis #these are rhetorical questions anon dont worry im not actually mad at you im just deeply confused #i very carefully curate my kpop content consumption and have no desire to know the drama so i have no idea whats happening 90% of the time #also i am old #i am a grandma and i make pickles as a hobby #(im not actually a grandma im just crotchety but i do make pickles as a hobby)#actually i think i did have a cellphone in 2008 but i was deathly afraid of opening the internet browser #because back in the day it cost like 40cents a minute to use the internet #you think i am kidding but i am not #also do not mistake this as a personal defense of s*ju there are several members that i would strangle with my bare hands #kpop questions #text #Anonymous #kingdom asks

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tatertotthethot · 4 years

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I agree on the topic about fanfics and how some people disregard authors and how its not acceptable cause everyone is allowed to do what they want as long as they don’t hurt anyone, however I really think its not for everyone and the reason why some people make fun of it is not on the fanfics themselves but rather on the so called ,, not like other girls” or ,,quirky type” ,ofcourse authors are not responsible for that but lets say wattpad is one of the sources that contributed to building this type of character that everyone is cringing at right now. Fanfics are okay as long as you remember for what they stand for and some girls sometimes detach themselves from reality, trying to find that bad boy who will be only good for them, when crying for not being treated right. Lets even take the same After, most people dont have the problem with fanfiction, but rather with it being turned into a movie, and frankly i think the same. We see more and more romanticization towards toxic love :fifty shades, 365 , after... where guy gets away with everything by being hot and girls life simply cannot revolve without the said guy in it and normalizing it like its a normal thing. Concluding i’d like to say that its only my personal opinion and others may disagree and thats completely fine 🤷‍♀️

Yeah I’ve also ranted about the most toxic ones getting glorified the most and I also get what you mean on the stereotypical “not like other girls” cliche being popularized and used as a way to vigorously fantasize this ideology of “true love” that are basically just glorified versions of trauma bonding. I not only feel that it misrepresents the fanfic community but it also completely shits on the bad boy trope— which is one of my favorite tropes. I ain’t downing nobodies work but I hope the ones that write the stereotypical TOXIC bad boy x good girl ships eventually realize that they’re constructing an ideology that comes with an innocent, gullible person chasing an “emotional high” that follows after being abused by an ✨attractive✨ fuckboy. They also don’t realize how unrealistic and incompatible a happy ending truly is in that situation, when a guy rather throw a grenade at you and watch you explode than admitting that they have a soft spot for you. It doesn’t really correlate with the thought process that goes behind a person that’s just “emotionally unavailable”. I mean, it’d be different if they actually gave the “bad boy” more dimensional characteristics and understandable flaws where they just more-so bluntly state that they just want sex and actually mean it, by pushing the sentimental shit away to maintain a tough exterior as a form of denial/rejection prevention, rather than just making them impulsively torment their love interests just to prove.. essentially.. nothing... other than the fact that their an unstable piece of shit lmao. Because with the first one, it still leaves a realistic window open for them to change and actually form a healthy relationship. Whereas the latter shouldn’t even be promoted as a love story after the clear signs of toxicity and abuse become the main turning point to this plotted out “romance”. I rather read about a fuckboy with a cold heart having no choice but to let his guard down because he can’t deny his feelings towards the love interest, over a story about an egotistical shit head with rich-kid issues setting out to sabotage and sexually violate an innocent girl but accidentally falling in love in the process, only to shit on them even more. Like.. it still doesn’t make a crumb of sense why he even did that if he had a sliver of genuine respect towards her no matter the size of his ego. Man’s would have to be a saciopath at that point. And (no offense to anybody who relates to this, as it’s not me invalidating anyone’s struggle just stating the misrepresentation) the fact that it’s this sheltered and gullible good girl who’s most iterated background trauma is their parents being divorced that goes from someone who is self-aware and optimistic to the “yes I know he’s no good for me but I’m built different so therefore I’ll let him hurt me and ruin my confidence in the name of love cuz I’m the only one that gets him” type of bitch is pick me energy and again, shouldn’t be glorified. “After” is nothing but a tale of that with hella trauma bonding that was created by intitial deception— especially in the original Wattpad book. Like, Holy fuck. It didn’t deserve the hype and damn sure shouldn’t have been perceived as a true love story. I remember commenting on a chapter saying that and I got cussed out by hundreds of directioners for it lmao. So yeah I agree with you and understand the stigma, and at the same time I can’t really say it’s completely wrong on peoples part outside of the community when they’re just going off of what they’re seeing being presented the most, but it really ain’t fair when they just trash us up and down despite us repeatedly saying that the judgement is being based off of a very bad example that a lot of us don’t even wanna claim. Its also shitty how our work is discredited and stigmatized by this stereotype and I genuinely fear that only the problematic(and ironically most popularized) fics will keep getting promoted the most and eventually silence the actual talent and beauty that is created within the realm of fanfiction.

#damn that turned into a whole nother rant lol sorry #but ive been waiting on this topic and im always ready to snap about it

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ukulelecal · 4 years

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First

anonymous: Never having someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with until this year because you have Calum and he’s not normally into Valentine’s Day but he wants it to be special for you. It’s kind of like this is the first year he’s into it because no one has made him want to celebrate it until he meet you. ++ valentines day concept ooft ok so its ur first vday w cal and u guys have been together for a few months but since u know he’s hesitant about love n relationships u dont want to make a big deal out of the day! but mayb cal surprises u because he knows how patient u have been w him n how many months before u got together u waited while he worked thru some stuff n he appreciates u everyday but he just wants to show u a lil extra loving! nothing totp flowers, a bubble bath n wine some, idk???

a/n: these are two requests but they’re so similar i just decided to combine them!! hope that’s ok

February 14th was coming up soon, and you weren’t exactly sure what to do about it.

You personally had nothing against Valentine’s Day. You knew it was cheesy, and you wouldn’t call it your favorite day, but it was fun and romantic, even though you usually didn’t have anyone to spend it with, and you loved when the leftover candy would go on sale.

Calum, your boyfriend of just a few months, had never been keen on Valentine’s Day, or relationships in general. He had his heart broken too many times in the past, making him give up on love entirely, but things changed when he met you. He realized what love really was and how amazing it could be. It took him a long time, denying his feelings and trying to convince himself that he only liked you as a friend, but it was obvious that you liked each other. He finally asked you out, and you were very happy together a few months later.

His prior aversion to love wasn’t a secret to you. He explained it to you, thinking you were upset with him for taking so long, but you were nothing but understanding. It took a lot of patience, but it was worth the wait. Due to this, you weren’t sure if he would be into Valentine’s Day. He still had his reservations, despite the fact that he was with you, so you didn’t want to go all out for the holiday if he didn’t want to.

In reality, he typically wouldn’t be into it, considering he was so hesitant about relationships for so long. But this year, he felt a little different. You had been so patient with him and made him feel so loved and happy. Valentine’s Day was a celebration of love, and he never felt the need to celebrate love until he met you. So, he wanted to make it special. He wanted to show you how thankful he was for everything you had done for him without even knowing.

Valentine’s Day came around, and you weren’t exactly sure how the day was going to go. He had asked you to come over for the evening, but he didn’t give any specifics. You had a little gift for him, but the rest would be a surprise.

Just as you sat up to get out of bed, your phone vibrated from your nightstand. Upon closer inspection, you found a text from Calum that brought a smile to your face.

Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart. Can’t wait to see you tonight x

You typed out a reply to return the sentiment before swinging your legs over the bed, getting ready for the day and hoping the time until you got to go to Calum’s would pass by quickly.

You soon enough found yourself knocking on his door, an immediate smile spreading across your face when he opened it. He looked incredibly handsome, as always, and his soft smile always and the bouquet of flowers in his hand made you melt.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he mumbled kindly, handing you the flowers.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Cal,” you answered, practically swooning.

“You look beautiful,” he complimented as you stepped inside, causing heat to rush to your cheeks. He always knew how to charm you. He was quick to pull you into his arms and press his lips to yours.

“Thank you,” you mumbled finally. “It smells good in here.”

“Yeah, dinner should be ready in a few minutes.”

With that, the two of you made your way into the kitchen where he quickly finished up the food he was making. The meal was delicious, thanks to his admittedly good cooking skills, and the bottle of wine that he had picked out definitely complimented it.

“I got this for you,” you announced after you cleared the table, handing him the small box. He sighed but smiled.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, sweetheart,” he informed you as he began to unwrap the paper.

“I wanted to,” you assured him, shrugging your shoulders. He finally pulled off all the paper, and the smile on his face only grew as he popped the lid off the small box. You got him a necklace with a bass charm on it, with his initials carved into it. You didn’t want to give him anything overly personal, but still something he would appreciate.

“Oh, baby, I love it. Thank you.” He pulled it from the box and extended it out towards you. “Can you put it on for me?”

You were quick to get up and stand behind him, clipping the jewelry. When you made your way to stand in front of him again, he swiftly pulled you into his lap and pecked your lips.

“Thank you, baby,” he repeated. “I’ll give you your gift in a bit, but what do you say we head upstairs for a bath now?”

You nodded quickly, and he stood up with you still in his arms. You squealed in surprise and clung onto him, making him chuckle.

“I got you, sweetheart.”

Calum ran the bath and added in some bubbles, and soon enough you were both stripped of your clothes and seated inside. Your back was to his chest, his arms snaked around your waist. You could feel the coolness of his necklace against your back, but it was somehow comforting. Just being with him was comforting, safe in his arms.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” He suddenly mumbled, breaking the peaceful silence. “You were so patient with me when I was too scared to realize how much I liked you and wanted to be with you. I’ve never really been into Valentine’s Day but you, sweetheart, you made me want to celebrate. For the first time in a long time.” He pressed a kiss to your temple, and although he didn’t say those three little words, you knew what he meant. “So amazing.”

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vr2 · 3 years

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i think kaeya’s suffocating one-way loyalty to others, especially diluc, is one of my favourite parts of his character. an inhumanly knightly ideal stretched transparent, gauze-thin to try and obscure the deficit of your own personhood. like clawing shut a black hole with bloodied fingers but still finding it weeping uncontrollably, hysterically. it’s not exactly self-sacrifice but more like some ill-fated way of seeking validation, plunging yourself into the dark to reaffirm that there is something light, barely alive, faintly flickering within. something worth saving, something human after all. its knowingly asking a question that cannot be answered or taken back. an irreversible change of state is the culmination of rubedo, the metamoprhic stage preceding it symbolized by the peacocks tail, cauda pavonis. understanding the true weight of flesh without blood is to kill the creature beforehand, but this is the only way a true value can be known. childhood dreams denature into scar tissue, charred memories leave a bitter taste in your mouth no matter what you wash it down with. twisting the knife to feel agony once more, confirmation there was some soft underbelly to to the beast, still made of blood and bone, steel carapace and blood-dark claws nothing more than bygone idles. this body can catch alight, can burn brilliantly. this maddening fragility can only be human.

an enduring but deceptively frail nature. i think most of his potential as a character is just waiting for him to shatter and reveal what exactly is left underneath it all like a kinder surprise! but the surprise is abject misery compounded upon whatever fucking awful events would have to cause him to break cleanly in two. i think, naturally, if left to his own devices with little change other than his tentative limbo with diluc, the niggling fear of his truth being exposed and his true utter loneliess, rather than breaking, kaeya would slowly be eroded with time. already well entrenched in the safety of his masks in the city he all but rules, slowly the glaciers hes built turn into the sea and without realising it one day he’d be stranded in an ocean of his own making completely and utterly desolate. eventually kaeya will find himself swalloed by the abyss and he will not struggle as the water comes to claim him.

as fun as that is i think there are much more interesting avenues to go down. for all kaeya is mond’s glacial cavalry captain he’s paradoxically also characterised by his emotional vulnerability. and i just think it’s delicious to prey on that and have some extreme emotional distress that tears him apart. although it’s never alluded to ingame outside of jean’s story quest it seems that kaeya orchestrates a lot of things and is relatively deeply involved with the personal lives of many characters who could not particularly offer him anything in return. specifically jean, klee, lisa and amber. somehow slowly he has scraped together some semblance of friendship and camraderie if not outright family. with him being abandoned twice over, one more final abandonment making kaeya compeltely lose all sense of reality would utterly break him for the last time. like realising all this time, all this change, everything yous aid and did was not only pointless but it was a distraction. the ice beneath your feet is is cracking even if you screamed for help you’d simply be damning another person to die with you, selfishly, thoughtlessly, cruelly. realising your purpose was nothing so grand, but with lies and misdirection they sent you to die in the snow convincing yourself a martyr. there is nothing to catch you, nothing to hold onto but whatever is lurking beneath. you can at least trust a beast to be beast, you were denied to live amongst the land of men but in the depths of the abyss you monsters you call your kin reach out to you, knowing. its only a matter of control now, to either fall off of the edge of the world or dive into it.

like a bird trying to swim beneath the water and finally succumbing to the waves. abandon yourself to your fate. revel in it, drink it down in huge gulps, fall into the spiral and dont look up, don’t acknowledge any other ending than this. there is no use making wishes, the stars are not listening.

i think the event that makes kaeya lose his tenuous grip on reality will actually be completely unnoticeable to anyone who doesnt particularly know him ie other than maybe jean, rosaria and diluc. kaeya will not endanger mond directly, but he is aware, that when he falls, so does a pillar of mond’s defence. he will not raise his sword against the place that gave him a wonderful illusion of belonging but he will not save it either, there was no way for him to understand this land of wind, as someone who was born not knowing the sky.

kaeya would mostly act as usual but there’s something distinctly off-kilter. his usual teasing more strange and obtuse, his usual silvertongue tempered into something more humble, cut with a strange truthfulness, a quiet gentleness of a youth from long ago. as if the captain had suddenly turned back time, as if slowly opening up and blooming like a flower. jean is happy to see kaeya smile again, even if she knows it if an affectation of a memory of a memory. she feels like the anemo archon had gifted him wings, this lightness a blessing she should be thankful for rather than weighed down with niggling worry for her oldest friend. rosaria finds it rather liberating, feeling as if kaeya has finally had the strength to shake off the great weight he carried, that burdensome melancholy has finally thawed. if it was not for the face master diluc is making at him however, she might have missed how wide and unseeing that smile seems.

diluc would be torn. there is something wrong with kaeya. but at the same time isn’t this what he wanted? perhaps in another life if kaeya ragnivindr had the chance to grow up, to bloom into adulthood, this is what he’d be. there is a childish softness he had thought he had burned away, the specter of a boy from another life warm and real before you. that makes something in his throat catch, the back of his eyes ache. diluc would feel tormented, kaeya surely had found some peace but here diluc has convinced himsef its ill-gotten. theres a warring inside him of wanting to reach out and hold this person you’ve never seen before, lest the disappear like snow come dawn and at the same time dig your fingers into it, sift through it until its in pieces before you and find what must exist in the heart of this illusion, even if it means tearing it to pieces. its often, often, he curses demanding the truth. honor and code and chivalry mean nothing any more but he has chosen the path and he can no longer go back. because now it means he cannot leave this kaeya, who can at least pretend to smile like he used to, intact. even this short reprieve must be burnt away.

questioning kaeya is painful, he uses his truthful emotions to disarm and its impossible to get anywhere. kaeya knows what hes doing. if he must be a liar to the end, he will give them the grandest, most beautiful illusion he can create. he pulls on his own strings until he feels them dig into skin, closing around his throat. choking down all his childish wishes to be saved, and turning once more to the audience. smothering it is the kinder alternative than to let the small voice in his heart live, take pitiful struggling steps and have to watch it fizzle and die out with a whimper under the weight of the world. the show must go on, such a mundane performance is not worthy of the king of khaenriah.

kaeya has always known that no matter how he comes to the finale, he has his part to play. in the end his choices dont matter, nobody has ever let kaeya have anything but (a photograph set alight by the fireplace. black satin ribbons tied in neat loopy bows, order in unruly heads of hair, scratchy facial hair against your cheek, the smell of cologne and grapes, not yet wine, three bodies curled on an armchair, a book of fairy tale held in two sets of hands. there is hole is in the center). his body has always belonged to khaenriah, his sword to the knights of favonius, his life to mond. there a quiet vindictive selfishness still, of owning and having complete control of your heart. one ill retaliation that gurgles out of your throat and takes the form of half-aborted laughter spilling out like tar, like sickness. turning the world upside down and righting your positions. kaeya sets the board to its rightful place.

is it still falling if you jump? no need to fear of someone letting go, if you had no intention of holding on. one final indulgence, one last rebellion. the childish vindictiveness of taking something from someone and not giving it back, getting the last laugh even if you laugh alone.

the peacock stage in alchemy, is the stage of transcendence, to destroy the original form and purify it to its final rubedo. the peacock must be swallowed by the phoenix. burning through its brilliant colours to achieve the transmutation between the mundane and divine. this is the the purpose of the cauda pavonis. it is to represent a form that is to be destroyed to achieve completion. a sacrifice.

to kaeya, knowing his purpose yet still foolishly living beyond it is the thing that truly truly sinks its teeth in. knowing that everything he built will be destroyed and he must allow it for being foolish enough to build it in the first place. he knows his impermanence and yet still he is beside himself with a festering rage called humanity creeping into his bones. having no way to process this as anything other than some inherent malignant evil that must be intrinsic to himself, i think kaeya takes ‘pleasure’ in not only burning that bridge but proving to everyone that he was an awful person who deserved this and he really is getting the last laugh. and truly there is something about it, for once, destroying something for your own pleasure. even if it is taking your own chance of redemption, that weak-hearted hopefulness and crushing it between your teeth, finding your saviour just to spite their naivety. the onyl thing left ot destroy is yourself so kaeya will make it absolute and spectacular! a performance seen this night and never again.

but the just straight up sacrifice for the sake of devotion, feeling as if he truly has nothing left but himself and he is his own person to destroy, his only act he can take, the only move on the board is sexy too. in another world, those deeper desires never breaking the ice, layers of permafrost scarred over and scratched raw - idle fantasies of love and forgiveness and belonging, mundane dreams reserved for better people - that could not be burnt out of you that night, like your hair, like your hands, like your flesh, like your heart. an ashen taste that lingers, a bitter aftertaste ever present no matter what you try and wash it down with. you can at least appreciate that the ache of your lungs filling with water, with wine, with the heavy weight of lies -- you can imagine you will sink, heavy with this grief. no one can change this punishment you have decided for yourself, they cannot save you without your consent. you see an invitation to be smothered, for your death to have a purpose, just as your life and birth had predetermined value, how could you deny such a privilege?

what is this if not a final act of devotion? to who, it’s undecided. but the fact you have burnt through this life for others, that you have bled for them, have been their hope, perhaps with this you can finally earn the title of a good man in their eyes. but your own dull gaze is the only one that looks back at you.

to think of their faces, their names, their warmth would sully this divine duty with pointless sorrow so you would close your eyes and clutch at the chest, where an abyssal heart would beat fast and scared, a betrayer and coward til the end. in the cold water, the outline of a dream, the gauzy silhouettes of people you loved, the light of the sun cast shadows across lands both alien and comforting, and, and - anything at all would be worth it. anyone but you.

perhaps this is simply the end. the final act lay unwritten for there is no point writing words that will never be read. perhaps the mask has slipped and you never noticed, insisting the show must go on when there is no one to play to. a performer perpetually stuck on the stage, turning about the head of a pin, boring into you with every revolution.

the depths of the abyss, pale in comparison to a gaping maw of this despair so wide, that this ocean is nothing but shallow waters to you. walking into the sea, with sword in hand, a sickness in the form of a love that is incomprehensible and cold. to finally rest free, a sojourn with no hope of return a voyage to far away from here. kaeya alberich falls to the end of the world and you will not save him.

as well and good all this rambling is, i think my favourite rendition of kaeya alberich shattering into tiny little pieces is to the tune of ‘kelly clarkson - since u been gone’

#damn you ren #its a banger song #i like my vindictive kaeya he deserves it king #renshin impact #unhinged kaeya rambling time #cw suicidal ideation #i am jus rambling its nothing coherent #organic free range delusions served fresh and hot #if even 20% of this is intelligeible i am a goddamn GENIUS #unfortuantely i will never know since i do not intend to ever read this again

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simpmeon · 4 years

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Lilith Head Cannons

Just some random headcannons I have about Lilith and her personality and interactions with the other characters. Might do a part two if I can come up with more. Sorry if they're all scrambled I literally was like "thought. Thumbs. Post." Djdjjdjd enjoy. Also!!! If you want to add more to the post feel free and remember that this is not cannon, just my opinion on her character, or really her absence of one.

General Head Cannons

I like to think she also was an artist, especially sculpting and painting. She loved the statues of the ancient Greek Gods and would often try to mimic them to look like her father or her brothers. She was also there for the renaissance and fell in love with the style of the time and would paint beautiful portraits of her family that would hang on the walls. In her room dedicated to her in Devildom, there are paintings of flowers that I would like to believe that she painted.

A master storyteller. She would tell all the brothers stories that she would make up on spot before bed. It started as a cute toddler thing, her babbling nonsense for hours before they all went to sleep, but it soon became a thing that neither of the brothers could fall asleep properly without having a story told to them. Soon the useless babbling told into brave and riveting tales that would take hours to tell, and by then Belphie was guaranteed to be the first to fall asleep.

After the fall, all of the brothers could not go to sleep, not because of persisting nightmares, but because their little sister was not there to tell them a story

She's a great fighter. At first she learned basics in case her overprotective big brothers werent there to protect her, but soon she was on par with some of the top fighters in all of the Celestial Realm. She even managed to knock Lucifer down in mid air combat, despite being the strongest physically. This came in handy when her brothers would get into fights and she would often play middle man and have to physically pull them apart and toss them across the room.

She was the fastest out of all of them. Mammon is canonically the fastest out of the current demon bros, but when him and Lilith played tag, you could barely see anything besides the blur of wings. She has outran him several times and often managed to duck out of lectures from her oldest brother simply by just taking off.

She loved to bake and cook for her brothers a lot and often taught some of the newer apprentices the archangels favorite recipies so that they can prepare it for them. She loved teaching them because she would often fill the waiting time with embarrassing stories about her brothers and the archangels. ("No Luci I dont know where they learned that your drool in your sleep...")

Fiery personality, which was often her savior and her doom. She took no nonsense from anyone, rather they be a random demon, an archangel, her own brothers, or even her father. If she didn't like something that was said or a decision that was being made she would not hesitate to speak her mind no matter what the consequences were.

Insanely smart because of all the times she would spend in the Celestial Realms many libraries. No one would peg her to be the studious one out of the bunch, but she just found all the information fascinating. However, just because she is book smart she lacks common sense and street smarts which proves itself when she placed her hand in fire because "she wanted to see what it felt like". Many people think the scars on her body are from battles, but in reality its because she decided she wanted to be her own personal test subject, no matter how dangerous they would be. ("Hey Luci do you think I could bite through selenite?" "Lilith nO-" )

Asks "Can this kill a human?" a lot and to newer angel's it sounds like shes plotting to take a humans life, but to those used to her antics they would just sigh and respond with a "Yes Lilith" or "No Lilith that can not kill a human."

Snorts when she laughs. Theres no other explanation I just feel that she does. Full belly laughs in private, sweet delicate laugh in public to play up her delicate fragile flower persona that she hated so much.

Just like how I feel like she scrunches her nose up when she gets angry and how she will literally get right up in Lucifers face whenever he pisses her off, no matter what protests she hears from her brothers.

Lucifer

I like to believe that, like Lucifer, she was attracted to the piano. Lucifer would often be playing melodies in the sun room in the Celestial Realm and Lilith would always be the one to find him first. He taught her how to play and even if she just banged on the keys, Lucifer still found her endearing. As she grew older though, the two of them became the best piano players in all of the realm. Didn’t help that she was also regarded as one of the best singers in the entire realm too.

Loved helping Lucifer and Belphie in organizing and categorizing notes from their father that day. She would often make it a game where they would pick their favorite event from that day both as a way to see if they were actually reading the documents being given to them, and as a way to discuss her and Belphies favorite subject with their big brother.

Her and Lucifer were often regarded as the Jewel and Flower of the Celestial Realm. They were both undeniably gorgeous, not that her brothers werent all gorgeous, but her and Lucifer were often pegged as the most beautiful out of all the siblings.

Both put under undeniable amounts of stress and would often seek to reconcile each other because of it. Lucifer was an archangel and their fathers right hand man, and with Lilith being the only daughter fromt heir father and because of that also having a reputation to uphold as being a mediator, the two of them would often find one another in the arms of each other after a particularly bad day, whether that be Lilith just hugging Lucifer and stroking his hair or Lucifer just having Lilith lay on him as she took a nap.

However their titles came with double edged swords. He often was found reprimanding her for possibly tarnishing her reputation because she would often get caught up in her brothers tricks and pranks. They would often butt heads, but as much as he hated to admit it sometimes, most of the time she was right. She was the only one who could wrangle apologies out of him.

Lucifer often treated Lucifer like she was fragile and that really pissed her off. Whenever she would come back with new scratches and bruises he would often reprimand her for tarnishing her beauty and would have to convince their father to not punish her because of it. She hates being treated like that but knows better than to tell Lucifer that he was being overbearing.

Mammon

Mammon was 100% the brother who didnt want a little sister until he got one.

Super cuddly with Mammon. In her early years Mammon was often the one who who she would just snuggle up into and fall asleep on, besides when she went to bed at night with Beel and Belphie. He would just be chilling on a couch after a days worth of work and suddenly would have a tiny baby foot stepping on his cheeks trying to get comfortable on his chest. Soon that's just how they would fall asleep together. Although Mammon would always deny that she wasnt cute whenever his brothers would catch them napping together and how he protectively held her.

Mammon was also the brother to try to use Lilith’s cuteness to woo people and definitely had her in those chest baby carriers whenever he went out of the house.

Lilith was really the only one would dote on him and treat him like a role model and he lived for every second of it. "The Great Mammon" nickname actually came from Lilith whenever she and Mammon would be playing with some dolls whenever she was younger and she called him that after her other brothers refused to play with her.

Mammon and her were the mischief causing duo. Lucifer quickly learned not to leave those two alone after her came home one day and found the two of them covered in flour and melted chocolate after they attempted to make cookies together. The mess was not what concerned Lucifer the most, but rather the fact that the oven looked like it caught on fire in the process.

Her favorite person to play with because he was rough with her and almost as quick as she was, so games like tag and duck duck goose always melted into a high speed chase between the both of them. They were also highly competitive with each other and would often try to one up each other.

Can’t beat the one time Mammon managed to swipe the spell to make animals and decided to make one of toddler Lilith’s funny looking animal drawings an actual animal for her. Both Lucifer and God did not appreciate the sudden swarms of what Lilith dubbed “Platypus” running around the Earth, but God is a weak man and when he tried to chastise Mammon, she started crying about how he was a good older brother for making her drawing come to life and God let them stay.

He was probably the one she was closest to besides Beel and Belphie. Even though she would go to Lucifer for more deeper philosophical conversations, it was rare to see her not in Mammons room after a stressful day. He and Asmo were the dedicated ranting brothers because both of them would hype her up. Mammon was still her favorite person to snuggle up to and nap on. She would never admit that to Belphie but it was true. Mammon was just always so warm and comforting that she would go out of her way to snuggle up and watch movies with him.

Of course she was also the kind of sister who would throw popcorn at him from across the room, steal his clothes while he was showering, and blame petty things like stealing cookies on him. Their fights were never more than senseless bickering that would often lead to them calling each other names, but god forbid if any other angel agreed with the insults. The chances of having a fist connect with their face just increased, especially if it's one of their other brothers.

Levi

Levi probably was the one with the weakest bond with her out of all his brothers. He felt jealous how she would usually seek out the others before she came to him, but on the days where she would seek him out they would waste the entire day together. Levi’s tendency to love games started when he and Lilith would pass time playing chess and checkers. They would constantly challenge each other and every game had new tricks.

Levi always had an obsessive personality and Lilith was always the one to stand up for him and even got him things to help with it, for example he was really into sea creatures at the time and so Lilith made him a clay sculpture of a whale and the boy nearly lost his mind. She never made fun of him.

Most people who knew him as the crazy otaku would never peg him to be the chess mastermind but he could beat Lucifer ten times over from across the House of Lamentation with his eyes closed because of her.

Her and Levi also were master strategists. She and Levi's pranks were so elaborate and so well thought out that Lucifer himself would be caught off guard. Sometimes it would be something as simply as moving everything in Lucifers room an inch to the right so he could stub his toe on his furniture and other times it would be slowly replacing people in the intricate paintings on the ceilings in the Celestial Realms cathedrals with poorly paintings of rubber ducks. Simeon when he came to Devildom still talks about how hes still finding some to this day.

Loves making Levi laugh. She would play whatever games with him to make him laugh. He would actually be the one to bathe baby Lilith because he would constantly make shapes and creatures in the water to entertain her. He treasures those moments in the giant bathtub just making horses and other animals out of water.

As she got older, it went from the bathtub to fountains. Lilith could be found tending the garden and suddenly would feel something wet by her hand and realize that an animal made of water just brushed against her and it always made her smile because it meant that Levi was near.

Because he was in charge of the Earths oceans, he was rarely home. When his father said that they have to keep an eye out on all creatures he didn't realize he meant ALL creatures. On particularly bad days where he was missing his family, he would always contact Lilith. Lilith always had time for Levi and even if she didnt she would make the time. He would tell her all about the marine life and how the water felt and Lilith always made sure to keep track of his discoveries in her various notebooks. Because their time together was often limited, Levi couldnt help but feel a tinge of bitterness towards his brothers.

Satan

Even though Satan never physically met Lilith, she was quite troublesome for him. Whenever Lucifer was about to go on a rampage, Lilith was always the one to calm Lucifer down. Even if the rage was directed at her, she always managed to calm Lucifer down and have him think rationally.

Satan knows the most about humans only because of the distant memories of Lilith talking Lucifers ear off about humans.

Even though he never physically learned to play the piano, he knows how to play both Lucifers and Liliths melodies by heart from hearing them both so much. Whenever Satan is restless he'll often play Liliths melodies on the piano to calm him down.

The only thoughtful gift he ever gave his brothers was a book of all the stories he could remember Lilith telling them. He claims it's because he wanted Lucifer to feel irreconcilable sadness when reading them, but its truly because whenever he was having a flare up of wrath he would go out of his way to find the book and read the stories to calm down.

Even after her death and after he sprang to creation, Lilith was still one of the only people to calm him down.

Asmo

She loved to play princess with Asmo. She would be a little bossy towards him, but he just adored the fact that he was the one who would braid her hair and blush her cheeks.

He always made sure to be front row for her “fashion” shows and as she got older and more interested in art, he was always the first to volunteer for her to practice anatomy.

He would always take the time out of his day to paint her nails all sorts of pretty colors, her favorite shade being lavender. He was in charge of keeping the Celestial Realm beautiful, and he couldnt let one of his fathers treasures be nothing short of beautiful at all times. Lilith didnt mind because it just meant that her and Asmo could vent together.

Asmo and Lilith have a garden in the Celestial Realm. Technically, they're in charge of all the gardens, but the two of them have a very specific garden dedicated just to the two of them. Their father has very strict rules about what flowers grew where in the realm, but Lilith and Asmo's garden had pink and yellow roses, amaryllis's, tulips, blue bonnets, fox gloves, hibiscus's you named them they had them all in their garden. There were several statues made by Lilith and Asmo even risked getting his fingernails dirty in order to install a beautiful stone archway with a bench. It was like their own oasis just for them. They would have afternoon tea in their garden, gossip about the archangels, even talk about how cute some of the angels are turning out as they grew up.

Like Levi, he also rarely got chances to spend time with Lilith, and if they did have time together it was only for about an hour before one of the angels would just whisk her away to finish a task, but sometimes late at night he would find her in the garden reading a book or tending to the plants.

Would design most of her Celestial Realm outfits or put together her outfits for the day. Paint her nails and do her makeup the whole nine yards, seeing as she and her brother were the face of the Celestial Realm.

Beel & Belphie

They were probably the ones who saw Lilith the most. Not "The Delicate Flower of The Celestial Realm" Lilith, but Lilith herself, with her arms freshly covered in open wounds from combat training, dried paint streaked across her forehead, hair sticking to her forehead with sweat, and hands shaking and covered in blisters and bandages from her gripping her sword too tight.

They'd be the first of the brothers to know about her training, mainly because they caught her trying to tend to a wound on her shoulder blade and they would help her tend to the wound, mentally cursing Simeon for getting too close to her wings.

She was the most comfortable around those two. She would dress casually around them and would often indulge in her more unladylike tendencies because she knew they wouldnt judge her. In fact, Beel was often the one to lug her completed sculptures around the Celestial Realm and Belphie was always in her studio to watch her paint and sculpt.

Her and Belphie would often spend countless hours under the stars of the Celestial Realm just watching and observing the humans below. Her and Belphie would even disguise themselves to get more up close and personal with them.

Loved lazy afternoons where they would all fall asleep on top of each other with the warmth of the sun on their faces. Especially loved the post nap snacks and baked goods afterwards.

Favorite sparring partner was Beel because he knew he could give her his all and shed be able to strike him down. In fact how the rest of her brothers found out about Lilith being a skilled fighter is when they all rushed into the battle chambers and saw Lilith soar over Beel and then full force swing her leg around onto Beels stomach, sending him plummeting to the ground with a loud crash, followed by Lilith hovering in midair, blood trickling from her lips and her arms covered in fresh bruises. That was the first time she ever landed a hit on Beel and her brothers were there to realize that the Flower of The Celestial Realm was a double edged sword. Soon she was having routine sparring matches with her brothers, Simeon being her coach on how to take them down.

Her, Belphie, and Beel all shared a bedroom. Lilith had her own bedroom with her own bathroom, but spent more of her time with Beel and Belphie because that's where she felt the most comfortable. Belphie especially specialized in making sure she didnt have nightmares that night.

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c4-weeb · 3 years

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Hey, I know everyone on here doesnt like.....know me at all but I just want to get this off my chest. Cause what if someone else out there is going through the same thing you know?

. . . In reality I dont even know why I'm posting this. . .

Not gonna lie I'm REALLY afraid to post this

But anyways welcome to my Ted talk lol

Tw: this is about sexuality and being confused about it and it's like my little breakdown over not knowing how to handle this... so fair warning lol

So....you all know how nurse rachet on netflix goes through a lot of lgbtq+ topics? Especially lesbianism and puts it together with religion telling us how sinful it is, while others think it's not and others think it's a disease..... I just.... I feel so confused.

Like am I asexual because I seriously dont feel any sexual attraction to people and I dont particularly care for intercourse. Like I'm on that spectrum of having little to no sexual attraction to any gender, but I have a very take it or leave it thing about sex. Like i dont want it, nor crave it, or need it. I dont get turned on by someone's looks but if I participate in sex I do it mainly for their pleasure but that doesn't mean that in the act I cant feel it and dont want any release of my own. I mean it's the human body, how can someone's body not react to it if done right?

But then theres bisexuality of where I've dated men and women before and I dont really care, as long as I like them as a person but I do still have my preferences in looks but that doesnt mean those preferences turn me on exactly. Just means I feel more comfortable and right to be with someone that looks or acts how they do and make me feel loved in the process.

Then there are times of where I wonder if I'm just a closeted lesbian trying to deny it when I just have such a big impulse to make out with another woman. Like I keep imagining having a woman kiss me deeply or when I hug another woman I think about how fitting it feels to hug their curves and how it feels right but I've been surrounded by my family during quarantine and having a ton of sisters it's weird. It's not like I'm attracted to them but its not like if I was hugging another lady and it not feel right. I mean plush skin, nice curves, and beautiful hair I can play with whether it's short or long.

. . . But it's so confusing I had to stop doing everything and just go in the bathroom as the lyrics "Oh hannah, I dont wanna be your friend I wanna kiss your lips" haunts my mind. Dont get me wrong it's a great song and it's just what I relate to right now. It's not influencing me to think these ways (at least i dont think, but again not the songs fault, nor the artist) but it's just what I relate to so badly right now.

My minds been buzzing for the last 2 hours over my intrusive thoughts and it's gotten to the point of where I understood why exactly the actors in movies, when worked up, splash water in their face.

At first I turned on hot water to wash my hands to make it seem like I used the bathroom but then, while hunched over the sink I felt the burning feeling of the water as it hit my hands. It reminded me of when I would turn the water on so hot it would burn my skin red when I was upset and wanted to punish myself or calm down my burning anger for what ever reason I had.....but as I had my hands under the scolding water I asked if this was sinful to think this way.

Then the question of "what would my family say if I showed up with a girl one day?" "How would they react?" And then more and more overwhelming thoughts over took my mind.

It got to the point I had to switch the water to cold and splash my face with cold water. In that moment I felt better for a second. So I did it again, and again,and again, until i felt like I was in a cold pool diving into the deep end, as the cold water engulfed my body in this pure calmness.

Of course I still looked like a panicked mess with teary eyes as if I had just been told a deadline for a school project was tomorrow and nothing was done yet and I had a breakdown over it. (Might have happened more than I'd like to admit lmao)

Other than that I just dont really know what to say now.... like just dont think you're alone if you're going through this too alright? One day everything will be clear (I hope lol). But if you have any advice I'd love some. Other than that this was just another stupid Ted talk I'm sorta afraid to post.

#lgbtq #lgbt rant #confused #guidance #ted talks #someone please help lol #coming out

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