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docholligay · 3 years

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Please rant/rave (well, we already know which one it will be here) about Harry Potter!

GEE I HOPE THIS WAS WORTH WAITING FOR

OH MY GOD. The level of hatred I have for Harry Fucking Goddamn Potter, the culture around Harry Fucking Potter, extending its poisonous tentacles even to the concept of young adult fiction, fantasy, and the United Kingdom as a country and people.

When you being on this, you may think, “Oh, Doc will explain that Harry Potter sucks because JKR hates trans women” and I will say, oh no, dear reader, that is a fantastic reason to hate the author, and I really suggest we all continue to hate her, and perhaps not purchase the QUEEN’S TONNES of officially licensed merchandise and movies and theme parks that give her stupid little fucking hands all that cash, but no, that is not why I hate the work. There are a number of great works done by terrible people, and the further out the lens of history gets the truer this is.

I hate Harry Potter because it fucking sucks, and mentally stifled an entire fucking generation.

“Well, Doc, Harry Potter was really there for me when--” Oh my god I could not fucking care LESS about your personal emotion connection to “orphan wizard boy turns out to be a rich aristocrat yet somehow less woke than Cinderella though” I have personally emotional connections to hot fucking garbage pails of media properties, and if someone came barreling through talking about the myriad ways in which they were horrible, I would be like, “Oh, you aren’t fucking wrong, pal”

Harry Potter gained wild ass popularity in part due to its magnificent sorting system of Smart, Brave, Evil, and Other, because there’s nothing liberals like more than being able to put everyone’s personality into an easily labeled box, which is why astrology is so popular, or for the intellectuals, Myers-Briggs, which is just as fake but with the veneer of science. This allowed people to give into the tribalism they so desperately liked to pretend they did not possess, and also allow them to write thinkpieces about “The misunderstood Hufflepuff” or “Slytherins aren’t all bad!” or really anything that allows them to write a very real piece about their very imagined oppression for being a part of a totally fake house in a children’s book. Excellent use of your sociology degree, Kai, I thought the addition of phrases like, ‘Content of socialization” and “axes of oppression” really spoke to the struggles you face when wearing a green and silver scarf.

The other reason it became popular is that it’s essentially wallpaper paste formed into characters. I have read all of the books, and I could not tell you even remotely what Harry’s defining personality traits are other than “protagonist”. In American, at least, a large part of it was the fascination with all things British, with the idea of boarding school and prefects and uniforms that aren’t inexplicably chinos and polo shirts for nine year olds. It allowed children to project onto something so bland that it could be anything. And for children, THAT’S FINE. There is a great deal of bland media made for children, but what I’m speaking to is the fandom, which is largely well over the age of 18.

Because if we look at the books, are they...actually good? Was it good, or did I experience it as a child? I mean, honestly, on a literary level, are they, or was it just like we all watched Friends, we did it because everyone else was doing it, because I have a distinct memory of a series that involves such greats as “magical geegaws with poorly defined rules that are quickly forgotten despite being able to solve later problems quickly” or “Everyone loves Harry or is a bad guy, or secretly loved Harry all along”

Oh, speaking of, man, if this was an actual well-written book, wouldn’t it have been wild to have Snape’s whole thing be to teach us that sometimes people do good things for the wrong reasons? Instead of naming your fucking child after the guy who ‘protected you’ because he still wanted to bone your mom? “After all this time” “Always.”

While all this could have been explained, we have Quidditch added into the mix instead because 20 pages of the goddamn Puppy Bowl is exactly what I was looking for while I was waiting for JK to move the goddamn ball on literally any of these actual magical concepts.

Harry Potter is a fucking trust fund baby, star quarterback, who grows up to be a cop and marries his high school sweetheart. (Speaking of, why were we shocked that JKR turned out to be a piece of shit when this was and always has been the conclusion of Harry Potter? Why are liberals so fucking into this series that upholds structures like it ain’t no one’s business? It’s a series that opines that those beneath us “Muggles” should be kept in the dark from us) Literally, he finds out he is a wizard and has a dragon-guarded fucking VAULT OF CASH. At 11. It’s such a series for little tyrants, you are special from birth and need do nothing to prove it, here is a letter certifying as such. Oh, not only are you rich and the greatest seeker and have excellent quips, but also your parents were not only rebels, but the best of rebels, and so deeply involved that your parents were killed by the big bad personally, again, because you are so special. His mother’s love literally saves his ass over and over again, because he was SO SPECIAL. He fought Voldemort FROM THE BEGINNING, and WON. It’s literally the most privilege baby fantasy in the world.

“But Doooooooooooc, it’s for chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiildren”

A) Yeah, and you’re 32, you’re making my fucking point about Harry Potter setting an entire generation up for intellectual failure to launch.

B) Okay, and? I can think of a bunch of kids’ books off the top of my head that in no way require specialness to be given by birth so as to roll out the red carpet for master protagonist. The Hunger Games. Watership Down. A Series of Unfortunate Events. The Chronicles of FUCKING NARNIA, about which I have only a small handful of particularly kind things to say. I’ve never read Percy Jackson, but it’s my understanding that despite his being a literal demigod, the attitudes of the supporting cast are allowed to fall between the extremes of “Appreciates Percy” and “naughty or will learn” Harry does nothing to improve himself even after knowing that he is HUNTED BY THE BIG BAD! “I won’t do this because I don’t like Snape”. So There” which, again, if this series were written with the slightest bit of care or know-how, could be a humbling fucking plot point! BUT NO THAT WOULD BE NAUGHTY.

But the real reason I hate Harry Potter so much has everything to do with the fandom surrounding it, and how it intellectually stunted a generation of adults. The promise of Harry Potter was that it was supposed to make a new generation of readers, and so the popularity of them was pushed, and so there was discussion of teaching them in schools, but I tell you fucking what, I know a whole lot more folks who grew up reading Harry Potter that never advanced beyond reading YA, or even just rereading the entire series every year and that’s pretty much them done and dusted.

In the attempt to recapture whatever it was about Harry Potter that attracted children (A lot of it was your peers doing it. I read them all as they came out, and it was literally the equivalent of watching the game so you could talk at the water cooler. That was never going to be recaptured) people, who by this time were likely in their teens, kept getting recommended stuff at the same and same level. No one ever felt pushed to read things that are challenging, to read things that have some of the concepts or themes of Harry Potter but maybe complicate. I know FAR more adults who read adult books that aren’t into Harry Potter, even if they were as children, than the reverse.

But Doc, why is reading only books meant for 14 year olds a problem??? I mean I suppose I can’t convince you that comfort is not the job of literature or of life, it is the job of an easy chair, because Americans especially are decadent as fuck about being comfy cozy all the time and if anything causes them distress or pain it should be immediately avoided. But Maybe I can convince you that you’re fucking up these books for actual ass children who deserve to have their own writing section without adults bringing their fucking asses into it. They deserve their own spaces. There’s a number of YA editors who have talked about the difficult space YA now occupies because since Potter’s blowup, it’s no longer a niche category, but basically “adult easy reads” and so they have been buying books that are more about the tastes of adult buyers than of literal 14 year olds.

Is that not...sad? To anyone else? Honestly, and this is not part of the essay because it’s a broader reaching problem, but CHILDREN’S MEDIA IS NOT FOR US. CHILDREN’S MEDIA IS NOT FOR US. CHILDREN’S MEDIA IS FOR FUCKING CHILDREN. The fucking 40-23 set really needs to get their shit together and grow up a little bit and engage in some fucking adult media, and maybe, if we support what we’re actually looking for FOR ADULTS, it will come to us. No one is saying you can’t read Harry Potter or watch some Cartoon Network show, but like, search your heart and come the fuck on. Engage in something more complex. If not for yourselves, for the kids getting shoved into simplified adult stories. It should not be about us.

ANYWAY, my larger point is that it was Harry Potter, a badly written series about a magical boy who was chosen and magic and also rich and also a favorite of the headmaster and also more clever than most adults and also spoke the same magical snake language as the big bad and was also star quarterback, but at least there was a system in which you could buy a scarf in block colors and feel like you belonged to a team.

(But not a sports team! lol handegg! I’m cool I don’t get into sports! Except Quidditch.)

#TO say nothing of the fact that I haven't been able to wear gold and burgundy together without some dumbass comment for years #despite being a favored color combination #Anonymous #Eight Days 2020 #Holligay Rants and Raves #I didn't even GET to every point I had but it's been over an hour #GOD I HATE THIS FUCKING SERIES SO MUCH #Doc do you hate me for liking it?#oh sweet thing allow me to reassure you: Yes. Absolutely.#also the prose is god-awful #I've taught teenagers with better rpose

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queenofthefullmoon · 4 years

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An exhaustive list of Dark Souls 3 bosses I would or would not date

Iudex/Champion Gundyr

We’re starting off this list with a strong yes. Our boy Gundyr has had a hard, difficult life, and he deserves some good company. He’s tall, strong, and I trust him to protect us as we set a lovely camp site outside of the fire link shrine.

Vordt of the Boreal Valley

Vordt is big and he is feral which are truly the only two qualities I look for in a man. Together we’d be unstoppable. I mean, think about how easy it would be to go around with him: just climb on his back and let the rodeo begin, baby. This argument alone should be enough to convince you that Vordt is a suitable boyfriend, but here’s another one: if you get too hot in the summer, worry fucking not for your gigantic man can hold his equally gigantic hammer over you and cover you with snow like an italian man covering his pasta with parmesan.

Cursed Rotted Greatwood

Now while I’m certain it would be a perfect partner for some people, the Cursed Rotted Greatwood isn’t for me. For one, I am not fan of curses, or rot, or weird sticky balls, or strange orange acid, or pale white and slightly viscous hands bursting through a living tree. Secondly, I feel like the crowd of Hollows who group up around the tree would be a big impediment to our intimacy, and I’m not ready to be the mother of 20 Hollows.

Crystal Sage

No offense but you’d be an idiot for not wanting to date the Crystal Sage. All wrapped up in one package, you get a super competent sorcerer bf, who wears the coolest hat in the galaxy and an equally cool cape, and who overall looks like the upgraded version of a plague doctor. In addition to that he also has a pretty rapier so you can both engage in some sparring (which we all know is the most romantic couple activity).

Deacons of the Deep

Probably one of the worst options on the list, they’re all crusty, rotting men moaning around a biggass coffin. There are many technical questions. If I dated a deacon, would I have to date all of them? Can we go out on dates or are they obligated to stay next to the coffin at all times? Can I even date them at all?? Not that I would, because I have standards. The only pro to entering this relationship(s?) would be that I’d probably get one of their robes for free, but the cons are so numerous that I’d rather buy it myself.

Abyss Watchers

Let’s be real and honest even if it hurts. Would I date an Abyss Watcher? Yes. Maybe I’d even date two. However, would an Abyss Watcher date me? No, because they’re all in love with Artorias, and I can’t blame them for that.

Old Demon King

At first I considered dating the Old Demon King like a Russian Instagram model dates an old, rich American man: with a great deal of fake love but above all great patience in order to be the only person on the will. But then I thought about it more, and what does the Old Demon King have to offer, really? A big firework show that will leave him exhausted like the old creature he is, and maybe some pyromancies. Truly, it is not worth it, especially since I’d have to take residence where he lives, in a big old room filled with the corpses of his kin.

High Lord Wolnir

I’ve got nothing against Wolnir personally, but I have no interest in skeletons, nor in his army of skeleton children. As stated above I’m not ready to be a mother. I feel like if we got in an argument and he sighed, he would poison me with his awful breath and I would die a horrible death. Also, living on the brink of the Abyss doesn’t appeal to me that much. However I would like Wolnir to be a good friend I can talk jewelry with because let’s be honest, the man (skeleton?) is blinged the fuck out even in death and I respect that.

Yhorm the Giant

Yes, I would date Yhorm. He was nothing but a sweet, misunderstood giant who always tried to get people to trust him and he convinced me. I would put my life in his big hands. Think of the possibilities. Just like with Vordt he could carry you everywhere but in a less reckless way if you prefer proper manners. You’d never have to worry about not seeing anything at a concert. Also, may I add that waiting for you to show up while sitting on his biggass throne is an absolute power move? Yhorm is a Lord of Cinder, but above all, a Lord of this heart.

Pontiff Sulyvahn

Would I date him because of his appealing aesthetic? Yes. Would I date him for anything else? No. Sulyvahn is absolutely terrifying, completely unhinged in the most frightening way, which is that he doesn’t look bat shit crazy. I could be thinking that everything is going well in our relationship then suddenly he’d lock me in a dungeon then would feed me to his weird friend because I put a fork in the knife drawer. He could pretend to propose and give me a weird fucked up ring with his eye in it and the next thing I know I’d be running in a field on all fours. I don’t trust like that.

Aldritch, Devourer of Gods

I’m so sad about Aldritch because literally everything about him is completely unappealing, unacceptable, unnatural, unholy, abhorrent, but he has the delicate and beautiful face of Gwyndolin. While our lovely Gwyndolin looks gorgeous as ever it doesn’t make up for the fact that Aldritch devoured people and probably wouldn’t find love to be a good reason to not eat his partner. The only reason I can find to have a friendship (not even a romantic relationship) with him is if you really like experimenting with cooking and you really, really need someone to taste your inventions.

Dancer of the Boreal Valley

I feel attraction, which means that just like any other being who feels attraction, I would date the Dancer. She is beautiful, graceful, a bit feral, and would not hesitate to put a flaming knife to my throat, which is the description of my dream woman. Imagine walking the streets with her, trying to hold her hand while it dangles 3 feet above you and she insists on holding her sword, actually, so she might slay anyone who tries to approach you, which she communicates through icy breaths and murmurs. The date of a lifetime.

Oceiros, the Consumed King

Another awful choice on this list, Oceiros is RABID and also, as far as we know, still a married man. You really want to date a man that hasn’t even gone through his divorce but already looks like this? Me neither. I’m already not big on dragon fucking but the fact that he’s all viscous and has weird growths all over him is not helping. Also, he has children, and we know how I feel about that — although, given how he treats them, he probably won’t have kids very soon (too far?).

Ancient Wyvern

So I’ve stated that I’m not very big on dragon fucking. With that said, do I think the wyvern is sexy and beautiful? Absolutely so. You’re probably like « Blue you’re sending mixed signals, are you gonna date the lizard or not? » and to that I say, date? Perhaps not. I would however like to form a lifelong bond with this wonderful force of nature and fight by its side, live a long and fulfilling life travelling along with it, only to die at the same time atop the tallest mountain in the world, where our skeletons will be discovers hundreds of years in the future by brave explorers, who will confirm that the legendary songs that were written about us were in fact not just a myth.

Nameless King

You’ve just read what I said about the wyvern. I feel like the Nameless King really understands me and would respect me for that. We could bond over our love of dragons and other flying scaly beasts and perhaps share some chaste kisses while soaring the sky on our companions. It’s nice to date someone who loves pets as much as you. I feel like he would be a fun guy to hang around in general, maybe he’d let you braid his hair or try on his crown. He can arrange personalized fireworks shows for you with his lightning powers. I don’t think you’d ever be bored around him.

Dragonslayer Armor

Dating an empty suit of armor has never bothered me (see: ds2 Ruin Sentinels), however I have beef with the dragonslayer armor. Is it a beautiful armor? Perhaps a bit worn off, but the reply remains affirmative. However, it is controlled by Pilgrim Butterflies, which basically means I’m dating one to multiple of these things in the shape of an armor, and I’ve gotta confess that I’m not down for that.

Lorian Older Prince and Lothric Younger Prince

Here comes the delicate moment where we have to make a choice without offending anyone. I personally, speaking for myself, in my own opinion, would rather date Lorian. Reason: he is big, strong, and a bit rabid, which I’ve made very clear is my type. I don’t dislike Lothric, but I feel like we’d be better off as best friends who have a really snarky group chat where we shit talk the entire kingdom. That’s pretty good because if I even just slightly disliked Lothric I’m pretty sure Lorian would sense it and would not hesitate to murder me on sight.

Champion’s Gravetender and Champion Greatwolf

Well the full name is just a formality here, I’m not completely insane so I don’t want to date this rabid wolf. I feel like the Champion’s Gravetender is just a normal dude who’s a bit in over his head and it’s not his fault but he just seems a bit boring compared to all my other options. Instead of a date I think he’d be more of an awkward flirt I had when I was bored and then I came to my senses but didn’t know how to disengage, but in the end it worked out because he was more interested in his work anyway.

Sister Friede and Father Ariandel

Again a choice has to be made and I will have to be predictable and say I’d date Elfriede. Just like Dancer she’s what the woman of my dreams is made of. She’s graceful and could easily take my life and I think it’s awfully sexy of her to be like that. I think I’d be accepted into the family pretty easily, which is important since Father Ariandel cares about Friede so much. I’d go visit him sometimes, play chess with him, bring him his flail, normal interactions with your girlfriend’s dad.

Soul of Cinder

I’m gonna be a tiny bit freaky here and say I’d date the Soul of Cinder. Dating it is just like opening a Kinder Surprise egg, you never know what you’re gonna get (sorry Americans for excluding you here). That makes life exciting and doesn’t let routine stall your relationship. Every day you can wake up with the question « What weapon will my darling walk around with today? The flaming sword, or the sorcery staff? » and be surprised by the answer. Truly ideal, but I understand it’s not for the faint of heart.

Demon Prince

I’m gonna go with a maaaaaaybeeeee? leaning towards no. I mean yes, the Demon Prince is a weird fleshy flaming demon, and that may be a bit gross, but I’ve gotta admit I admire his style, the drama of it all. The care he puts into his entrance, the attitude in his moves. If we don’t date I’d at least want to be friends so he can teach me his ways.

Darkeater Midir

I have very intense and contradictory feelings towards Midir. In one hand, holy shit, absolutely epic dragon, the spirit of companionship is growing in me. On the other hand, this beast is RABID and pretending I could tame him is foolish, and pretentious. I guess in the end the answer remains that I don’t date dragons, I just want to adopt them as my extremely exotic pets.

Halflight, Spear of the Church

Yeah I’d date Halflight, I know it’s the easy answer but look at him. I mean shit he’s walking around like a little thotty with his shirt open and you mean to tell me I’m not supposed to wanna date him because he looks pretty much like a regular dude? My boy Halflight WANTS me to date him or else he would not show up with his tiddies out to a sword fight, which as an activity already has enough erotic implications on its own.

Slave Knight Gael

I’m gonna say it unashamedly and I’ll say it again: I would date Gael. He’s been nothing but helpful and when he tries to attack you it’s to help his little lady that he’s adopted as his niece. We love a chaotic parental figure. Maybe he’s a tad bit old and dirty but there’s nothing a good bath can’t fix and I’m sure he’d appreciate having someone taking care of him for once. Again, he’s got that slightly unhinged quality to him that makes him delightful. When I walk around with my partner I want us to instill both fear and fascination in people which we would be able to accomplish perfectly well.

Dark Souls 1: Remastered date list // Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin date list

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abizarreyodelingincident · 4 years

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Linked Universe: Our Nightly Confidant 1

Wind From Home

Twilight considers himself a simple man. A farmer at heart, even if he has the hands of a hero. He's grown in a small village, where everyone knows everything about everyone else. Community is a sense that's been cultivated in him as well as pumpkins on a sky island (whatever that saying means).

He loves his brothers and his sort of dad. This quest... he doesn't want to say it's a blessing. It isn't. The monsters threaten many. Their group hasn't always saved everyone. It's no blessing that hurts so many. But he can't help rejoice the opportunity to meet so many heroes. To find his place in the legacy of the Hero of Courage.

As a Hylian from a human village, he's never worried about his place, but he does find peace in belonging to a group with no such innate distance.

He's one of the oldests, weird as that is. Most of the group are like little siblings to him. Weird, insane and irreverent little shits that give him grey hair. No, he's not thinking exclusively about Wild (Wild's a special case). He's attuned to their moods.

Four asked if he had a special sense for this, the second time he'd done it. A 'special' sense, he had insisted in the middle of their training camp, meaning wolf senses. No. Twilight doesn't feel one side of him bleeds into the other. It's not like that.

It's not what makes his eyes trail after Wind today. His youngest brother (barely losing to Colin by a season) is currently laughing his ass off on a tree stump over Warriors tripping on Legend's items. It is denied, not very convincingly, that the items weren't left there on purpose. Little shits, he's telling you.

The truth is more down to earth, the way Twilight likes it. Dogs train themselves to recognize hylian expressions. They know what sadness and joy and anger look like all too well. They know when to cheer their big two-legged friends. And a wolf? Well, a wolf better learn fast the difference between a real smile and a fake if it doesn't want to end up stuck in a bear trap.

***

First watch is always a bit nerve wracking. Unlike second and third watch, Twilight can't just shift into wolf form to sniff out enemies and make sure the whole forest is secure. Links don't fall asleep easily. Legend wakes up at the slightest noise for the first two hours he looks asleep. Time might just stare at the sky the whole night, not getting a wink of sleep. Sometimes, Twilight himself just... can't stop thinking. Wondering where she is now. If she's alright. If Ordon's safe without him. Once in a while, he'll close his eyes and hear Lumi crying, and Uli's quiet steps to shush her.

The other half of the time, it's staying asleep that's the problem. The Goddesses know they all have plenty of material to fuel their nightmares (he's never forgetting Yeta's face, he's resigned to that).

When the moon's path has almost reached its zenith, Twilight hears the first few moans. His heart drops. He hoped. But he's not surprised. Sometimes, the heart can't take the weight of the mask people plaster on.

It starts small. It always does.

For a time, it's mostly sniffles and choked sobs. Then a small 'I'm sorry.' Twilight grimaces. None of them show their scar easily. The deep scars, at least. Wind wouldn't appreciate an audience. Unfortunately, Twilight can't exactly leave. The next best thing however is to try and cut it short.

So, decision made, he creeps around camp, places himself behind Wind and shakes his shoulder. (Carefully. The group collectively learned not to take sleeping Links lightly. At least, Sky had laughed out the black eye with grace.)

“Hey, Sailor,” he whispers, hoping none of the others react. “It's your turn.”

In truth, it's a touch early for that. But he knows he made the right call when Wind rubs his eyes and freezes at the wet feeling on his fingers. He'd been in the middle of turning around, but he immediately fakes a stumble and buries his face in his rolled up blankets instead. It's a good cover to wipe tears without being too obvious.

Twilight would be impressed if that didn't send pangs of worry through his chest. Oh, Wind...

“Mrm,” Wind mumbles. “One minute?”

“Sure, I gotta take a leak anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, piss off.” Wind waves him off from under the blanket.

Twilight smiles to himself. He should ask Wind to direct a play next time they visit his Hyrule. Queen Zelda was always in need of entertainment for the stuffy dignitaries. Jackasses couldn't crack a smile if they were whipped.

That faint irritation pushes him toward the end of the camp line, out of the clearing. Once he's out of sight and hearing range, he grabs onto his cursed necklace and sneaks through the underbrush. His senses make navigating through the twigs and branches child's play, and the lack of any pig-like stench reassures him that there's no malice-infected monster around. In less than a minute, he has circled around the camp and positioned himself the near opposite of where his hylian form left through. Generally, people don't make the association if he leaves a few minutes tick by. Out of sight, out of mind.

It's a bit embarrassing how well that trick works.

Wind's head is turned in the direction he disappeared earlier. Skittish, like a rabbit looking out of its hole. Wind must be waiting for him to return from his manly business, which is a bit of a lost bet at the moment. Seconds tick with only the faint brushing of leaves on his fur and the nightly wind for company. Then, all at once, Wind stands up and stomps his way to the stump Twilight had been using for his turn at the watch.

“Damn it!” Wind curses under his breath. The tears are held at bay, barely. “There's no way he didn't see... calm down, calm down dammit, he's gonna come back soon!”

A small boot kicks off some dirt. Twilight flinches in his hiding spot. That's more anger than expected. He's not sure what to do with that. None of them like vulnerability. None of them are used to being allowed vulnerability. He's worked on Wild and Time for a while now, and he's making progress, even if it's only them opening up to him.

It's that same instinct that pushes him to walk through the bush and reveal himself. He's as non-threatening as a large wolf can be, but Wind still whirls around with his sword drawn. Recognition is a second slower.

“Wolfie!” Wind whisper-yells. “Bad dog! I almost skewered you!”

Twilight raises one eyebrow, unimpressed. He is most certainly not a bad dog, and he is quite experienced at dodging last second hits by flailing, surprised preys. Not that he even thought of Wind as prey, never, but Wind didn't have to imply he'd be that stupid.

“Oi, what are you looking at?” Wind grumbles, dropping back on his tree stump. “Stupid dog...”

Twilight fights the urge to growl. He's here to help, not pick a fight. Unfortunately, his struggle had been obvious, because Wind deflates and sheaths his sword.

“Sorry. It's just... I'd been doing so well so far,” he whispers. “Even if they're big mother cuccos about me sometimes, they still listened to me.”

Twilight feels his tail curl between his legs. He knows he's overprotective. He knows it's annoying Wind, but he can't help it when every other time they fight, he sees Colin rushing into the path of King Bulblin.

“Hey, hey, don't be sad.” Wind cajoles, patting his knee like an invitation.

Twilight's too happy to question the change. He plops his chin on Wind knees and looks up. Small, calloused hands run into his fur.

“Do you have family, Wolfie?”

… What? For a second, he slips out of grasp just to better stare at Wind. Then, he sniffs his breath for a second, and whilst there's a fair amount of onions there (dental hygiene, Sailor!), no traces of booze anywhere. So, he softly woofs, tilting his head to the side.

“Do you have a she-wolf and a litter of little pups that trip all over themselves? I bet you're a good dad, aren't you?”

Twilight can't help the shocked whine that burst out of his throat, nor the flattened ears on top of his head. Him? A dad? He was far too young for that! Being a brother to Wild alone was trouble enough as it was, fatherhood remained firmly beyond his grasp. Besides... it wasn't like he had someone with whom...

“Aww,” Wind cooed, scratching behind his ears, “I didn't want to scare you, Wolfie. I just thought you take good care of us, s'all. I bet you'll be a good dad someday.”

Flattered as he is, he can't help puff and huff into Wind's shirt. He's a noble beast, talked down to like a lap dog. At least, he successfully distracted Wind from what nightmare he had.

Together, they listened to the crackling embers, moving only when the flames needed another log or when a critter stumbled too close to camp (a very curious rat that scampered when it met Twilight's eyes).

“How much did he drink?” Wind mutters, a bit later. “Did he pass out with his breeches down?”

A low growl rumbles into his chest. The disadvantage of others not knowing he's Wolfie is hearing that kind of crap about himself. He's a misunderstood man condemned by the judgemental Links of the world.

“What? Don't like him? Twilight's okay. Most of the time. Like, he saw me cry. I know he did. He knows I know, but he still pretended not to... you know?”

Twilight's best deadpan glare expresses that yes, he knows. More importantly, he puts a paw on Wind's chest, making a small inquisitive noise. Why? Did he need to share it with a very innocent wolf that doesn't judge anyone and anything except Warriors' morning hair?

The fragile grin on Wind's face falters. His eyes dart around. “I... it's not like... You won't laugh, right?”

Twilight nods emphatically.

“It's nothing too bad. I just miss my sister and my grandma.”

Oh, Wind...

“... Please don't tell the others,” Wind said in a tiny voice. “They already have a hard enough time taking me seriously. I don't want them to think I'm being a baby who cries about his family.”

The confusion can't overtake the lance of shame and heartbreak that spears through Twilight's body. Had... had they pushed Wind into this? Made him think that because they hide their tears, they'd laugh at his?! Goddesses... Uli would smack him with her wooden spoon for making a mess like this.

Again.

He might have been a bit overbearing once his quest had ended. Colin had been happy about the attention... the first three days or so. Afterward... well... Uli and Rusl had taken him aside, put their feet down and helped him let go of his dead grip on his little brother's safety. And half the monsters he'd faced had nothing on the challenge of letting Colin make his own mistake. He thought he'd gotten better about this.

But he might have forgotten Wind was not nearly as tolerant or hesitant as Colin.

“I'm a Hero too. I'm strong. Why would I cry over nothing? My grandma and my sister are fine. I bet we'll be portaled in my Hyrule soon and I'll have worried for nothing and Twilight and Warriors will be right to treat me like a fragile little boy again.”

He's not. They all know he's not. He's just... the youngest. The most cheerful, most innocent, most... most well-adjusted of them all, and they want so badly for Wind to keep that. He's a wonderful young man. They're all so proud, so impressed with him.

He's gonna have a few conversations with Warriors and Time tomorrow. Goddesses!

“Hey, Wolfie... I know you don't like being around too long, but... Do you mind staying a bit?”

Twilight chuffs, stubbornly burying his face even deeper in his little brother's shoulder. As if someone would be able to pry him off Wind before morning.

***

“Do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?”

Wind looks up sharply, startled but unwilling to admit it. He'd been polishing that long view of his by himself. “What?” he says, and there's an implied 'the fuck?!' in there. Pirates...

Twilight brushes the grass and then sits on the hill, staring past the coast at the red sun. “My father told me that, the day before I left on my quest. Neither of us knew then I'd have a quest soon, of course. But it stuck with me.”

For a long time, Wind's expression shifted between fascination, embarrassment and a bit of confusion. Twilight really needed to teach him how to maintain a poker face before he played cards with Warriors again. Still, there's no rush.

For all that it tears him in half, dusk also has a way to sooth his old aches. It's a peaceful time. A moment when the day dies, when the living settle and close their doors.

“It's the horizon, for me,” Wind admits. “When I... the first time, I'd never ever left my island, and all of a sudden, I had to leave because that huge ass bird had kidnapped my sister. So I had to leave my home for the first time, and I was on Tetra's boat, staring at Outset Island shrinking and shrinking till it was gone. Even when I pulled out my sister's long view, all I could find was the waves of the Great Sea.”

“Ah, a boar and a bulblin got my brother, my childhood friend and a bunch of kids. Knocked me right out with a hit to the head.”

Wind pulled his lips together and narrowed his eyes. “Well... I didn't get hit or anything, but Tetra threw me out of a cannon so I could infiltrate the fortress. Hit my face pretty hard too. That counts?”

“It wasn't a competition!” Twilight laughs, ruffling Wind's hair. It causes a flinch, and that's the light-hearted mood gone. Great. Twilight breathes through his nose. “You know, sometimes, I really want to smack my dad upside the head.”

Wind blinks. “... Okay?”

“Every goshdarn time I see the sun set, I remember him and my mom and my brother and sister, and... home. Every sunset reminds me of home. Makes me miss it so bad. Now I can't help feel that strange sadness every time.”

Silence.

A snort.

“Goddesses damned!” Wind wheezes out through his laugh. “He...”

“Yup,” Twilight says, leaning his chin on his fist. “He didn't think that one through. Bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, ain't it? So, I do want to make him think before he spouts philosophy at me.”

“Hey, hey, Twilight!” Wind says, impish, tugging on his sleeves. Then, the second he has Twilight's attention, he puts on the most serious face he ever wore. “Do you ever feel a strange sadness... as you put on your pants?”

“You little shit,” he says, brimming with affection.

Wind, not to be undone, jumps to his feet. “Do you ever feel a strange sadness... as you drink milk?”

“Oi,” Twilight stands after him, darting right after the brat.

“Not the strange sadness of being chased by a goatherd!”

Two minutes. Two minutes and six variations of the most profound saying his farmer dad told him. Butchered. Butchered like a lame goat in winter. Twilight is both furious and delighted and it might be why, when he does catch Wind, he unleashes the noogie from hell.

Wind's screams, so closely related to that of a dying piglet, are very satisfying. Worth the kicks to the ribs.

And when retribution is served, Twilight shifts the hold into a one-sided hug with the smooth grace of a man who regularly pretends not to be the wolf that is never seen with him. Wind freezes, realization sharp on his face when he notices the tears gathering in Twilight's eyes.

“But the first thing I'd do if I saw him tomorrow... is hug him. Tell him I'm glad he's okay and that I missed him. Then I'd smack him and run for the hills, because Rusl happens to be the only guy in my village that knows how to use a sword.”

After a whole body shudder, Wind gives up and buries himself in his big brother's shoulder.

#Linked Universe #Linkeduniverse #LU Twilight #LU Wind #Wolf Link

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vendeavendea · 4 years

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How Entrapta Has Become My All Time Favourite Autistic Representation in Media: Long Version

Just so you know what to expect, this is more of a very long and boring personal post and less of a character analysis. By "very long", I mean "very long". Also, half of it was written at night when I was supposed to be sleeping (like, right now), so some parts might not even make sense. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Just days before I started to watch She-Ra, I answered a question in a writer group where someone asked what are the do's and don'ts of writing an autistic character. I've been told a couple of times in my life that I can’t be autistic based on the fact that I'm not really interested in or good at science, so I think special interests of autistic people are something that definitely has to be presented better in media. So I advised this person to make their character have a special interest that's NOT related to science, technology, space or computers, because it's a very common misconception that people on the autism spectrum are always into these stuff, and there are so many autistic fictional characters based on this stereotype that I feel like we absolutely don't need any more.

And then I saw Entrapta.

I didn't know she's canonically autistic until a much later episode, but it didn't surprise me when I was told she is, because my autism radar went off like a hundred times while watching System Failure and all her other season 1 appearances (so did my ADHD radar, by the way, but as far as I know, this hasn't been confirmed by the creators, so it's just my headcanon). And she looked like the purple ponytails princess version of the autism stereotype that I didn’t want to see any more of. The genius who is into space and robots, knows nothing about human relationships and keeps driving everyone nuts with her long and impossible-to-follow scientific monologues. Also cute and funny, yeah, but still, as someone on the spectrum who is super artistic and has nothing to do with science stuff, my first reaction was "dang, not this shit again." Just for once in my life, I wanted to see an autistic representation that's not just that typical weird tech-lover but a character that's at least a tiny bit more like me. Seeing her only in her first episode, little did I know that Entrapta's character has an incredible depth and her whole arc was going to be hair-raisingly personal to me (I know I'm not funny, but pun intended).

First, let’s talk about robots, because we can't talk about Entrapta without talking about robots. Entrapta builds robots just for fun, because technology is her thing, but there's actually a lot more behind this. Starting from as early as her debute episode, we see through the whole series that she creates robots with different designs, abilities, personalities, very similar to real people, as a sort of substitute for the human (or whatever species) company she'd wish to have. She even gives them names. She programs them to like being around her, to understand her, something that she hasn't really experienced from real people, which is sad enough on its own, but even sadder if we consider that she actually has human staff working at her fortress. She pretty literally makes friends, and she does it with the help of her special interest. And this totally reminds me of my primary school years when I had zero real friends and used my special interest, which was writing fictional stories and creating worlds/universes/languages in my head, to make up imaginary characters that could be my "friends" so that I wouldn't be that lonely.

Then, her interactions with other characters, especially with Hordak. Entrapta consoling Hordak in Huntara is a very powerful scene to me, not only what she says, but also how she says it. When Hordak starts venting about how he is a failure and all, Entrapta's first immediate response is to provide a practical solution, to design an armor for him, and comforting him with words is only a secondary action. She's helping in her own way, with technology, because that's what she's the best at, but she also wants to make sure he understands that fixing imperfections isn't always the solution, embracing them is. I also love how it's hinted with the "loved" crystal that Entrapta's love language may be acts of service (and probably quality time as well), which is another thing we have in common. And there's another thing in that scene I found very relatable: that part when she stops consoling him and starts to talk about herself being a failure instead. In real life, most people would read that in a negative way. I've been in many situations where I've tried doing something similar to people who were venting to me, and normally, they're like "ew, I'm the one complaining now, stop making it about you." But Hordak's reaction is different, all he does is try to tell her she's not a failure before she shushes him, then he just listens. He understands what Entrapta means by saying all those things about herself isn't "hey, look, my life is also horrible, so I get to complain, too" but rather "I feel you, we're the same". For a person who thinks and acts as differently from average people as Entrapta does, connecting with someone through similar experiences and feelings is a huge thing, and this is so relatable to me that I cried like a baby while watching that scene. Also, kudos to Christine Woods for making Entrapta's monologue sound so factual and casual. It really gives the impression of someone who is fully aware of her own strengths and weaknesses and accepts herself as a whole with all her flaws. The way she lists all the things that make her feel like a failure right after saying "imperfection is beautiful" is just... wow. But seriously, this whole "imperfection is beautiful" thing in general is such a cliché that it's not even supposed to work on me, but hell it does, because it's so well-presented that it's actually one of the most powerful moments of the whole series. Entrapta giving me self-acceptance lessons is all I've ever needed in my life (Hordak probably agrees, lol).

Speaking of self-acceptance, I also love how Beast Island shows that it's a long and difficult process with its ups and downs instead of just a door you walk through once in your life and then stay on the other side forever. Even if I accept and love myself the way I am, it's still totally normal to have low points with thoughts like "I'm not suited for friendship" or "everyone leaves me behind". And it's very nice and uplifting to have someone's love and support when I'm in a bad mood with stuff like this on my mind, but personally, I often find it easier to deal with if I have something related to any of my special interests around that I can focus my thoughts on. My "we flew here on an ancient First Ones ship, do you wanna see it?" would be something like "do you wanna create some characters and then write the shit out of them?" and before this show I've never actually realised how neurodiverse it is to use a hobby or interest for self-care like this. The "definitely the ship" part called me out so hard, and I just adore how the writers were able put so much meaning into a single joke line.

Back to interactions, there's also something painfully relatable in the way the other princesses treat Entrapta. Even in the beginning in No Princess Left Behind, but mostly in season 4 and 5. In most cases, Entrapta is only considered to be worthy enough to not be left behind in situations when her skills are useful. Other characters "liking" her isn't really about herself as a person but her tech knowledge. Just like when you go to school and the only reason your classmates want to make friends with you is because you always do your homework and let others copy it, or you're good at explaining stuff and are willing to help people getting prepared for tests/exams. When I was in grammar school, my classmates ignored me or mocked me for liking animation and comics, but every now and then they did the bare minimum of treating me like a human being and expected me to do their arts homework in return, because I was the only one in my class who was good at arts. When I studied linguistics at the uni, I was really into phonology and historical linguistics, and those were the compulsory subjects most of the other students were struggling with, so many people wanted to hang out with me just to make sure they could get my notes before the exams. The same people kept calling me nerd and making fun of me behind my back. I also had a few genuine friends, which I'm grateful for, but I still know what it feels like to be needed only for a specific skill while not being noticed and respected as a person, and Launch portraits this experience in a very clever way. It's so amazing to see how the princesses realise who Entrapta really is and start to treat her as someone who just thinks differently instead of someone who's a deliberate bad person. They finally get to see that she's not just an unwary tech nerd, but also a determined, caring and loyal friend who gives others so much love in her own geeky way and deserves love, too. But I shouldn't even be surprised, I mean, we're talking about a show that teaches us "you worth more than what you can give to other people," and it's great how this message applies to other characters as well, not only to Adora. And the best part is that this whole conflict is not presented as something black and white, it's not like Entrapta is the poor misunderstood autistic person and the princesses are the evil allistic bad guys who mistreat her. It's simply a miscommunication between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals, and while the other princesses get to understand that they hurt Entrapta by their actions and that they should be more respectful of her, Entrapta also realises that she's made mistakes and hurt people, becomes aware of her own bad habits and makes efforts to get rid of them in order to save Glimmer. Plus I also love the faint implication that most of the princesses never really, genuinely, 100% make friends with Entrapta even after this scene, because sometimes people just don't resonate with each other enough to become close friends, but they learn to accept her differences and treat her with respect, nonetheless. This episode is so full of realistic interactions and character development it blows my mind every time I rewatch it.

I could just go on and on about all those tiny relatable details such as "I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories!" I think this was the line that first made me fall in love with Entrapta's character. I mean, if someone from the crew wrote this line, that means they might know the feeling, too, so I'm not the only dork who feels this way every time someone asks me a question about my hyperfixations. And it's just so reassuring. Entrapta has many lines of the kind, they're not even important plotwise, but still super relatable and validating.

Now that we're here, and I know that I probably should have said this at the beginning of the post, but I'm too lazy to rewrite the first paragraph accordingly, I'd like to note that these are all my own interpretations and reflections on Entrapta's character based on my own experiences. This whole thing is totally personal, and I don't want anyone to think that this is how Entrapta is supposed to be seen by the whole fandom. So yeah, that's pretty much it for now.

#She-Ra #She-Ra Reboot #SPOP #entrapta #autism #personal

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

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I’ll Be Good (Favored Ones, Part 6.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Part Summary: Ever since the last bonfire, things seemed to be changing left and right so quickly you couldn’t process it. But one thing was for sure - there was something changing in your relationship with your mentor.

A/N: There are some clues about the bonfire scene, but you don’t get your small claws on it, at least... Not yet. Let’s keep it a mystery for now. Shall we?

Word count: 5 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme @peakymarvels @davnwillcome @pickleriiick @jodiereedus22 @gladiosamicitias @tamkashi @eternallyvenus @avengerssstuff @fangirl-inthe-us

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Late summer and early fall of 2037:

It took you a few more days to pick up enough courage and to go for a bow shooting lesson. It was the damned bonfire that you couldn't get out of your head. The feelings were brewing inside of you while you were confused to say the less. Who was even Joel Miller? You couldn't tell anymore.

There were times when Joel could confuse the living hell out of you. Like when he came to see you to your garage. Or that one evening. One thing, you knew for sure. Something had opened up inside of you. Suddenly, you felt opened up to imagine Joel not as a mentor, not as Ellie's father, yet you could see that he is a man. And a pretty handsome one for that matter. Every time he met you in Jackson, he gave you a small smile - once, he stopped by and asked about giving you a guitar lesson. Being surprised, you nodded.

Joel even gave you the tapes by A-Ha he promised he would lend you that night, so you listened to them at home. And these guys were talented as hell. It was a true joy to listen to their songs.

For the first time, you weren't excited about the lesson itself. Like, sure, you still wanted to learn how to shoot from a bow, but your mind was focusing solely on the realization you'll be there together for hours, alone, in each other's company. The idea of being alone with the man, maybe finding more about him, be allowed to talk to him without worries, that was awesome.

It was so strange, realizing something like that in the first place. For the first time, you've decided to have an afternoon lesson, so you had enough time to visit Eve. Ellie wanted to go there with you, but there were some things you didn't want Ellie to hear. You brought your lunch and all the necessary stuff with you, even the bow and the quiver, and a small flower of wild poppies into the dinosaur vase. When you arranged the flowers to look good, you sat down with the box on your knees, looking at the tombstone.

"I told you I'll be back pretty soon. It was just three days and holy hell, you wouldn't believe how much stuff went down, I swear." - You chuckled, looking at her name. Just like the first time you talked to her, this was helping you out a lot. It was somehow calming you down, having at least the feeling that Eve is there with you, listening to each word. - "The bonfire a few days back was... Great. I'm still kinda all over the place because all of it, and Jesus, you'd laugh so much if you'd be here now. I don't know yet, but I have the feeling that boy trouble is on its way. For the first time and for real this time." - A sigh came out of your lips as you played around with the veggies in your pasta salad.

"I can tell you'd be surprised... Maybe just halfway surprised it's about old Miller, huh? What can I tell you? I didn't know I have it in me. You'd probably tell me some of your lessons and tell me to listen to my heart, I know, I know. Why don't you answer me?" - You mumbled to the tombstone. It was childish to expect any kind of answer from the piece of stone, yet your heart didn't desire anything more than that.

"Oh, you're speechless, old-timer, I see. I'll try to sort it out. Maybe it's just a phase? It won't last too long for sure. I've probably just drunk too much... At least you're not on my mind that much lately. That's a good thing, right?" - With another sigh, you finished your lunch and packed the box into your backpack, remaining yourself to wash it later. - "Time I was on my way again. I'm probably late anyway. If anything happens, I come to tell you, don't worry." - You chuckled at the tombstone, climbing on your feet.

Then, you kissed the tips of your fingers, running them along with her name with a sad smile. Joel didn't like it when you came late to your sessions, yet you were already ridiculously late probably. As if that wasn't enough, just as you passed around the cafeteria, Ellie caught up with you with all of her things packed.

"What are you doing?" - You looked at her when she was trying to act unsuspiciously. There was this one small thing that happened at the bonfire - when you were sitting next to the old man, signing a song you didn't know at all, Dina was looking at you two. Suddenly, she turned her face at Ellie, saying a sentence Ellie remember by heart: They would be a nice couple.

Dina was drunk at the point, yet it made Ellie freak out. You and her old man in a romantic relationship? No way in hell. Yet as the days passed, the thought came up in her head more and more often. She wasn't all over the place, but it made her furrow.

"I'm coming with you. To look after you and to be your emotional support." - The green-eyed girl answered, making you stop to look her in the face with visible confusion. You loved Ellie - you did. But this was your chance to talk to Joel without being afraid someone hears you. And the reason she came up with was just dumb. Which the girl realized as soon as you scoffed happily.

"I'll be just fine with Joel. He had to put up with my ass for a month and a half already. I bet one more afternoon won't kill him." - The answer made Ellie sure she lost this battle due to bad arguments. Next time she would want to inspect the overall situation, it can't be a last-minute plan, but some well-thought reasons you won't be able to say a word against.

Dina was drunk, Ellie reminded herself inside her head. She probably has misunderstood the situation. She probably badly read the whole thing. Yet for a reason, you made Ellie worried she might be your number one for too long. Which resolved in her hugging you as her life mattered on it at the moment. Overwhelmed, you hugged her back, closing your eyes at that contact.

"I love you, baby." - She mumbled and clung onto you even tighter than before. Without a doubt, you nodded, closing your eyes for a moment. What on Earth was this for? Ellie suddenly seemed to be so gentle and vulnerable. It almost made you tell her to come along - Joel would be overwhelmed by joy, yet you didn't want to see the girl acting up. - "And I do love you back. Anything on Earth won't change that, sweet pie."

With that, you let her go, stepping a bit away. - "I need to get going. He'll be pissed if I leave him there for too long. See you later!" - You cried out happily, already walking backward in the direction of the gate.

As you suspected, he was already sitting there with an empty expression, watching the ground in front of him. Yet as soon as he saw you in the distance, he stood up, watching you coming closer with his thumb behind his belt. As you tried to catch your breath, your hands were already moving in a swift motion, telling him you want to say something.

"I'm so sorry. Eve was so damn talkative today and then Ellie wanted to talk too... I'm so sorry for making you wait." - Came out of you when you finally were able to at least somehow talk. - "How late am I?"

The man looked at his broken watch with a furrow, giving you a rather serious look after that. - "You're way past I don't give a damn. I told you I won't pressure you for a while now... But don't take advantage of that, yea?" - He answered, having you scoff playfully at the answer. He was impossible sometimes. Right after that exchange, he turned his face at you, having an honest smile there. - "We'll be droppin' our backpacks on the cabin, I have somethin' to show you. Special plans."

That made you excited. Joel never wanted to show you anything besides where the prize you were going for with your bow was. Maybe something moved in him at the bonfire too? Could that be? Well, it made you grin as you thought about it during the way to his sanctuary.

You've talked throughout the whole journey. You spoke about serious and not-so-serious stuff, laughing sometimes. And just as Joel told you, you both stopped at the cabin to put your stuff there.

To your surprise, his rocking chair was finally finished - naturally, you as the kind would you were, eagerly tried it to tell him if it's good. It sure as hell could be felt that Joel was a carpenter back in the day, as he told you before. To be honest, you never sat in anything more comfortable. With a hum, you closed your eyes, rocking yourself.

"This is enough for me, Texas. You can go do your stuff, you'll find me here once you're done, yeah?" - You waved your palm at him when you heard his steps stopping in front of you. Gently, you opened your eyes just to see Joel leaning towards into the terrace's railing, one of his thumbs was under his belt as usual, and he had a boyish grin on his face.

"You wish, youngblood. Get up your lazy ass and come, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity you don't wanna miss." - Joel scoffed, locking the door to the cabin, motioning his head in the direction of the woods. With a dramatic sigh, you got up and followed him.

"What is it? Did you find gold?" - You tried your guess, having the man shook his head. - "Oh, I know. The fountain of eternal youth. No? Hmm... I see! You've found some super-lab, am I right? No? Then what is it?" - There was a hundred other guesses you had inside your head, the boldest one including taking at least one article of clothing off.

"Patience," - "Is a virtue. I know, I know. I'm just fucking curious." - A giggle left your lips. It could be felt that you feel safe and contained, which was healing your soul, to be honest.

To your surprise, you stopped at an empty meadow inside the woods, about half an hour away from the cabin. Joel dragged you behind the tall grass, creating a small window for both of you to watch something. What did he mean by that? What were you supposed to see?

For the first hour, you've been excitedly watching your surroundings, but as you got bored, you started to chit chat with the man more and more - after an hour and a half of just sitting there, you sighed and laid down, looking at the darkening sky.

"Ugh, how long you plan on just sitting here?" - You mumbled tiredly, already feeling the air getting cold. You should've at least taken the sweatshirt from your bag - or he could tell you to take it.

"Have some patience and faith, will you? It can be gone already, but I don't think so since I checked on it yesterday." - Joel sighed, mumbling back to you. Your eyes rolled on their own - yet just as you wanted to mock Joel, a hind came out of the woods, looking around. Swiftly, you got yourself on your heels, trying to see the animal better.

It took you a moment to see what was the animal searching for. Just when it lowered its head to the smaller animal hidden in the bushes, your palm caught Joel's as you leaned in to see the scenery better. You didn't even realize you've done that. The man wasn't watching the hind and its cub, he first took in the sight of your nails gently sinking deeper into his skin as your lips opened in pure wonder.

It was such an innocent gesture made in the wave of spontaneous curiosity and wonder you've felt, but even that told Joel just enough. For example, you were trying to share this moment with him. You trusted him enough to catch his hand. It made the man relax a bit when he leaned with a smile to your shoulder.

You both had to stay as quiet as possible so you wouldn't scare the animal away. - "It's a small whitetail dear. I always thought they're only in Alabama, but I bumped into the hind a few days back. Seems like we made it on time." - Joel explained, having you turning your face at him. It shocked you a bit since you almost bumped your nose to his with how close he was. You've been staring at him for a moment, thinking about how good it feels. Yes, you thought about leaning in for the damn kiss, but you decided against it in the end.

The moment was already special as it was. With a startled look, you realized that you're holding his hand in yours. It was warm, a bit rough, but dry. Only your fingers were wet from the sweat. With a sorry look, you held it a bit tighter before letting it go. Yet he still was as close to you as before, just in case you'd like to tell him something.

The night was turning into night and even though it was getting colder and colder, you still sat there, watching the small deer trying to walk for the very first time. After a while, stars and the moon could be seen shining on the meadow below. Joel would tell you that you should go already, yet he couldn't bring himself to ruin such a moment for you. It could be felt you're believing in the small animal - whenever it fell, you bit your lower lip and furrowed, and when it looks like it's about to finally walk, you leaned in with childish excitement.

"I've never thought I'll see something like that." - A whisper came out of you when you were picking up the stuff from the cabin. - "It was one of the best moments of my life. Thank you." - You smiled, walking the known way to Jackson. Joel caught up after a while, having a smile on his lips as well.

"What you be doin' today?" - Joel asked when you saw the Jackson gates in the distance. You were so freaking late. But it seemed that Tommy was informed about your late arrival, so the patrol waved at you, as usual, letting you in. At the moment, your eyes widened.

"Jesus, I promised Ellie to hang out later today. I didn't know this will take too long. Wouldn't you mind..?" - You mumbled frantically, having a sad expression on your face. Joel already showed you he ain't the worst companion to walk you home and you were hoping that he'll walk you even that day, but this was changing the whole thing. What you've been even sorry for?

"Course not, youngblood. I was just curious, that's all. Tell her... I say hi. Would you do that for me?" - The man asked nervously when you walked backward away from him. At his request, you nodded, having a small smile on your lips before you went to pick your food up and to Ellie's place.

The first knock was ignored by her completely. You sighed, massaging your eyes. Was she even at home? Or was there some sneaking out planned later that you didn't know about? To see if she was there, you looked in through the window. Her TV was on, which was a good signal. So, you knocked again.

"Come on. Don't be pissed - I didn't know it will take this long today." - You told her through the door, leaning your forehead into the wood. Not a sound could be heard from the inside. Great. She was pissed. What on Earth were you supposed to do with a pissed girl?

Carefully, you opened up the door, kinda waiting for Ellie to be waiting for you with a pan in her hands, demanding answers. But when the house was silent and you closed the door again, you saw her snuggled up inside her and sleeping.

The following process was quick and practically noiseless - you ate the dinner quicky, brushed your teeth, took care of your hair, and put the pajama on before joining your best friend.

"Who's that?" - The girl mumbled from her sleep, not even bothering to raise her head from the pillow or to open her eyes.

"It's me. I promised you to stop by... But the lesson took way longer than I thought it will, babe." - You answered in a whisper, having the girl smiling sleepily in your direction. - "Don't worry about me. We'll talk in the morning." - A promise was made before you laid down to sleep as well. As usual, it didn't take Ellie too long before she snuggled up to your side.

It wasn't weird for her or you to do that. Ellie was usually seeking some safety in the still of the night - she did so because she often felt like the third week, so she wanted to at least comfort herself when she was sleeping. And you had no problem with it. It was the usual scenario after you fell asleep during the sleepovers. Mostly, you watched movies and since she was the first to doze off, you knew she'll snuggle after a while.

But you had some serious hard time falling asleep. Your brain was projecting you the whole evening, again and again, making you sure that there was something about the man. After some time, just before you fell asleep, you were glad that is was him with whom you could watch such a thing happening.

The next lessons were nice. Sometimes he helped you with the bow, even having competitions with you and winning all of them, other times he brought the guitar. When you were brave enough, you tried to learn something too, but most of the time, you listened to the man playing.

But even though you could be considered a musical anti-talent, you leaned one or two basic songs with Joel as your tutor. Let alone you breaking another string - this time it was on the guitar. You could be impossible sometimes too.

The fall was approaching quickly, maybe a lot quicker than you were realizing. The leaves started to fall and dressed in colorful coats, the air got thicker and colder, the nights were starting earlier - having you wearing boots and sweatshirts to the lessons.

Yet, in Joel's eyes, you were finally skilled enough to hunt. He let you start with the rabbits before getting into the bigger animals, having endless patience with you. Though the method of right and wrong, you learned how to make a small noise as possible, sneaking like a freaking ninja by the half of September.

"Get the elbow higher." - A sharp whisper hit your ears, but you didn't move an inch. You had the situation under control, having the rabbit just where you wanted it. Taking in the last breath, you steadied yourself and sent the arrow flying.

And to your surprised, it not only missed the target by at least one foot, but it also made the animal run away. All you could see on Joel's face was that I told you so attitude showing off. - "Will you ever learn to listen? I told you that your elbow was too low."

"I had it. It must be the air clearly, it's getting thicker. And the mist I'm front of my nose ain't helping either." - You mumbled and walked for your arrow. It was still usable, so you put it into your quiver.

"So now she's usin' air as an excuse, 'kay." - The old man chuckled mockingly, having you rolling your eyes. - "It's gettin' late. We'll do best if we head back for now. Come on, kiddo."

"Yes, sir. Where do you want to go next time? I heard there's this good place just an hour from here, we can have a competition who’s the better one." - You asked with a big smile. Something inside told you that what Joel was about to say was a thing you won't be happy about - the man quickly glanced at you, furrowing a bit at your words. For a long time, you walked in silence, both of you thinking about your stuff. Until the cabin appeared in the middle of the small meadow, you were both silent.

"You didn't answer my question." - A silent remark left your lips when you both were taking your backpacks on to walk back home. Joel stood in front of you for a while, his thumb behind his belt once again and he nodded at the statement of yours.

"About that... I don't think you need my help anymore. You're good on your own already, trust me, Jesse won't believe how good you are when you show the boy. Also, the weathers gettin' bad, so the circumstances aren't perfect either." - The man answered you finally, making the small smile disappear from your face. You walked closer to him, not quite grasping what was happening.

The sessions were over? That was what Joel was trying to say? Sure, you stopped coming there because of learning the skill a long time ago - you already figured the bow out. It wasn't exactly perfect, but you weren't to worst at it either. The lessons in the woods became more of a fun time with a friend, where you could get lost in the feeling of calmness. You were walking through the woods, side by side, sometimes being quiet the whole time, sometimes you discovered an interesting spot, sometimes you were just joking around.

And he didn't want that anymore. For a reason, it felt like a punch in your stomach. The blood slowly froze in your veins as you tried to figure the man's thoughts out. A tight feeling built around your chest. Sure, you liked the man, but there was no way in hell you'd act on your attraction to him. Did he finally notice the smirks and naughty looks coming from you pretty frequently? Or could he see behind your jokes? Did he found someone else to spend his afternoons with?

"So, I don't have to come next time is what you're trying to say?" - You spoke out loud finally, standing just a foot away from the man. You could feel the warmth coming out of his body, your ears heard the way he was breathing. It was insane.

"All I'm tryin’ to say is that you don't need me anymore. Sure, we can have some hunt from time to time, I would be glad if we would, but spendin' whole afternoons here? Come on. You sure have more things to do, don't you?" - Joel tried to make the whole situation lighter with a chuckle, looking at your confused face.

For you, it was one of those now or never situations. Nobody would know about this unless Joel would tell them. And you knew this man would take everything you'd try to do to the grave rather than humiliating you in front of everyone. You could just try to kiss him, right? No-one would hear about it. So you nodded at your confused thoughts, having the man watching you with confusion. It didn't feel right to leave the place until you'd do it at least once.

Shakily, you took in a deep breath before your fingers wrapped around his light jacket, pulling him closer than before. You made sure his lips met yours in the half before you closed your eyes and kissed him with pure passion. Joel didn't know what to do at all. He would never expect something so unplanned from a girl he knew for a fairly long time. The man honestly thought he get to know you well throughout the months you spent together, but obviously, this wasn't the case at all.

Would he kiss you back if you'd stay there a little longer? Would he put his hands somewhere on you if you'd wait just for one more second? Was he surprised - and was it a pleasant surprise? Those questions were left unanswered, because just as spontaneously as you started the kiss, you pulled away from Joel, having the man standing there with his eyes widened as he looked at you in a different light than before.

What the fuck had you done? Sure, in theory, this situation sounded nice, but also, in your mind was his direction way different than a surprised staring. You could hear your fastened heartbeat inside your head as you backed off from him, shaking your head with tears on confusion in your eyes. Your fucking cheeks were on fire, both your palms were shaking as you covered your mouth with them.

"Fuck... I mean... Fuck. I'm sorry, Joel." - You whispered before disappearing into the woods. You hadn't enough courage to look him in the eyes anymore - you saw him standing there for a long time after you left. That night, you ran directly to Ellie's house, knowing he won't be looking for your there. In case he would be even searching for you. First, she was working on one of her newest paintings, turning happily upon hearing you - just to see you stand there, looking like a piece of trash, crying heavily.

"Did something happened? Did that old jackass do something to you? I swear to God," - "I... It's... Eve." - You got out, figuring the lie on the spot. Ellie sighed softly, coming closer to hug you tightly. You knew your jacket will be covered in the rest of the paint from her shirt, but you were just glad to have the girl in your arms.

Meeting Joel on the meetings or in the dining room was humiliating. Every time you realized he's in the same room as you are, you felt flustered - all you could do usually was to watch the tips of your boots while biting your lip nervously - like a five-ear-old kid caught stealing. Sometimes, when you weren't looking, the man was watching you when everyone else spent hours talking about the patrol routes.

He wished to know what was the whole damn situation about in the first place. In his mind, the sudden kiss didn't make any sense at all. First, your unreadable reaction, then the kiss, after that you stormed out and now you pretended he doesn't exist? What did he do to deserve such a cold-hearted treatment? As far as Joel could tell, he was the innocent one in all of this.

Ever since the weird moment in front of the cabin, he saw you in a different light than before. Sure, you were still his daughter's best friend, you still were a serious lot younger than he was at the point - but you seemed to be opened about something... Joel didn't know what you were opened about, but there were some options. Yet as soon as you'd try to tell them, no matter how much he'd seem to be interested, he had to turn you down cold-heartedly.

To be honest with himself, he was interested. Ever since the bonfire, there was some kind of a small spark bothering Joel about you. He could feel it coming every time you were near - every time you scooped a bit closer on your hunting sessions, every time you greeted him in the downtown, it was there, not leaving until you left again. But what good would it bring? Starting something, no matter what could ruin many relationships, cause fires, and arguments. That was why it would be better for the man to turn you down rather than trying things out.

One night, he heard a knocking on his door. Joel almost missed it since he was in his small carpentering workshop, working on a new figure while listening to some folk songs. With a sigh, he closed the door and went to open it up. His back was drowned in a cold sweat as soon as he saw you standing behind the door with a helpless expression, hugging yourself. To his surprise, you both remained silent for a second even when he opened up the door, standing just two feet away from you. You nodded inside the house, biting your lips nervously.

"Will you let me in? We have a few things to talk about and... I don't want the whole neighborhood to hear." - A whisper left your lips. Joel groaned at defeat, carefully stepping aside to let you walk in. He checked if the only neighbor who he had hadn't seen you coming in before closing the door again. There were things to talk about indeed, yet Joel was hoping that as soon as the situation will be cleared up, you'll leave just as you came in a few seconds ago.

#the last of us #the last of us part two #the last of us imagine #the last of us part 2 #joel miller #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #ellie williams #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #jesse the last of us #maria miller #maria the last of us #tommy miller #tommy miller the last of us

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lovingumi · 4 years

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who are your top 5 faves and why hehe

oooo i’ve been waiting for this one! i’m just gonna do two top fives, one for haikyuu and one just overall! i feel like you’ll definitely see what kind of person i am because of these, so that’s pretty fun! it became pretty damn long and it’s a lot, to be honest. so i get it if you just skip this entire thing! and thank you for asking this!! when i say i love interacting with you guys </4

haikyuu

1. my lil baby bokuto kōtarō!!

i didn’t necessarily have a favourite in haikyuu until he showed up and i was like ‘yeah, he definitely has my heart’ i just kinda aspire to be like him? he has this endless positivity and works so hard to keep up with everyone and just go against the strongest! he enjoys what he does so much, and i hope i’ll be just as happy as him. his lil emotional outbursts always have me laughing and just 🥺 evertime and i just wanna tell him that he did amazing and i’m so proud of him!!! i could literally write an entire book about him right now and i’m really holding back, because there’s so much more to him than his lil mood swings!! but let’s just keep it at this, hm!

2. miya atsumu

my lil misunderstood baby!! the second i saw him in the anime, before i had even read the manga, i was dead ass already head over heels with him. people dislike him and discard him being the best setter canon, just because he’s a lil threat? i don’t even know why people dislike him. this guy is a whole five year old with just lots of confidence. he genuinely does not care that people dislike him, because he knows his worth. another thing i hope to have. this lil baby starts making mistakes just because he started getting excited!!!! ain’t that just the cutest lil thing ever 🥺 i just find him so funny and amazing!! the sangwoo jokes are also kinda getting old guys, please

3. hinata shōyō

now this one right here- he’s overlooked even when he’s loved so much. he’s insanely versatile and just so much fun to watch. he’s the real definition of starting nowhere to ending up everywhere. i can only wish to have even a sliver of his determination and motivation, because i have none of that haha </3 but no, he’s pretty interesting! people kinda overlook the fact that he’s selfish, but selfish in a good way. d’you really think he helps all these other guys because he wants to be a lil nice? i mean yeah, that plays part in it, but he’s helping them so they can get better and he’s going against stronger people. he wants them to get better for his own reasons, and i think that that isn’t wrong at all. being selfish isn’t always bad, it can benefit you without hurting anyone y’know. and he’s just my lil baby sunshine who i can always come back to.

4. kita shinsuke

i genuinely don’t know how and why he’s in my top five- i’m just gonna improvise this one and just talk some bullshit. kita is someone who does what needs to be done and cares about the people around him. he shows respect and basically has no regrets. he’s a gentle soul and like i said before, he’s basically the word ‘serenity’ in my eyes. if you’re with him, then you’ll probably just feel at easy and so comfortable. being around kita shinsuke means feeling like you’re on a cloud with a gentle smile on your face. and that’s probably the reason why he’s one of my comfort characters.

cant choose, so- honourable mentions!

i know, i know this isn’t right. but i genuinely can’t choose another favourite, so for this one i’m just gonna do a few honourable mentions sjdndn. i think kageyama tobio is among my favourites. he’s just this little dork who only knows volleyball and believe it or not, he’s the one with the most back handed compliments and maybe even hate. my lil baby deserves none of that and i just wanna hug him all the time while he tells me about how important a first step is while setting <33333 udai tenma for no reason. kozume kenma has all the vibes i love. which is weird because he’s basically the opposite of bokuto in some way- he just seems like someone who would accept you, no matter how you look or act like sometimes, you know? if you pique this guys interest, then you know you’re in it for the long haul. goshiki tsutomu, semi eita, tendō satori, sakusa kiyoomi, komori motoya and iwaizumi hajime also join the list of ‘we don’t need a reason, we just make her feel 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋’

overall

1. bokuto kōtarō haikyuu

he’s just- i already explained why partially but i’ll just add a lil more here! bokuto kōtarō is very much aware of himself. he knows that if something on the court happened to him, he’d just start hitting out of bounds or against the net, he knows his being coddled by his team, he knows he can be a bit oblivious and you know what! he doesn’t care!! he isn’t insecure about it and doesn’t feel bad, because there’s no reason to be! kudos to fukurōdani for that too, i love them for not trying to change bokuto <3 but i’m a very, very emotional girl, it’s kinda sad how easily i cry so i just bond to the characters who are emotional too. they make me feel like i can cry as much as i want, and they’d either cry with me, or hug me warmly and that just makes me so happy!

2. nakajima atsushi bungou stray dogs

god, the amount of love i have for this one- he’s one of protagonists that people love to call whiny, a cry baby, boring or useless. atsushi’s trauma might not seem big for you, but it is for him. he has been called these things for his entire life and has been used as an experiment, of course it’s going to haunt him for an insane long part. he’s just a realistic representation of how some people with trauma can be. but he’s trying to move on and trying to save people just like he was saved. he’s constantly trying to prove that he deserves to live, when there’s no reason for him to do that. and i kinda relate to that? i just want to give him all the love i have.

3. rengoku kyōjurō kimetsu no yaiba

this one- just twenty and i know that he would be the older brother to everyone in the anime universe, even if they’re older than him. he also gives me insane bokuto vibes he has such strong beliefs and always tries to protect the weak, no matter what. his father abandoned him, but that didn’t stop him from following his dream of becoming a demon slayer. he trained and taught himself into becoming the level of a hashira which is basically like the top 3 aces in haikyuu, simply said. he took care of his little brother when his father didn’t and told him things like when no one would support or believe in him, that he would be there and support whatever path he decides to walk. “stand tall and be proud. no matter how weak or unworthy you feel, keep your heart burning, grit your teeth and move forward. if you just curl up in a ball and hide, time will pass you by. it won't stop for you while you wallow in your grief.” the way he called me out with this one- no but i just admire him.

4. levi ackerman shingeki no kyojin

so basic, i know i know.. i don’t really feel the need to explain this one, it’s just pretty self explanatory. he’s seen everyone go and always survives alone. he’s called humanity’s strongest and last hope. do you know how much of a bagage that is to carry in such world? he had to make decisions, knowing that it would cost so much lives. he just deserves to go home, drink a cup of tea and close his eyes without feeling the need to always look around himself.

5. midoriya izuku boku no hero academia (contains spoilers)

now imagine seeing your role model in their real form, telling you, a quirk less kid who has been bullied to almost death, that you can be a hero. i would cry for days, honestly. let’s also not forget training for an entire year, moulding your body beyond its limits and getting a quirk that’s much bigger than you originally thought. and it’s not even one quirk, but around seven or eight you’re getting!!! you’re carrying so much responsibility along with all these things and people expect you to be this badass guy who carries no emotion. please- i fucking love my baby izuku and all his emotions included. i do not accept any slander for any emotional character on this blog <3

honourable mentions!

after reading the manga, i can say with confidence that bakugou katsuki is one of my favourites. i relate on another level to tamaki amajiki, my shy lil baby. khun aguero agnes, ah yeah, i love him. i finished the anime, but i have yet to finish the webtoon. kamado tanjiro is my favourite protagonist and no one can change that <3 hange zoë hange zoë hange zoë the love of my life!!!

#i won’t blame it if you skipped this-#nevas.✉️#anons.🦋

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jbuffyangel · 5 years

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Y'all are going to look really dumb when it's revealed that Maya is black siren's kid. Black Siren & Blackstar. Both have green eyes and blonde hair. & in the audition piece her character asked Dinah about Black Siren. Honestly this the marriage thing all over again. I'm going to laugh my ass off. You get what you deserve!

What marriage thing? When I said Olicity was going to getmarried and then they got married? Was that the thing?

Because that’s whathappened.

I know it can be confusing since there were four proposals,one fake wedding and two real ceremonies. I definitely got what I deserved.No arguments there!

Maybe I’m thinking too specifically about this “marriedthing” because I agree there were some really funny moments on the way to thealtar:

Oliver proposing to Felicity in front of L*urel and sheapplauded.

Oliver leaving L*urel on their wedding day because herealized their fake relationship in the dream world was based off his realmemories from his relationship with Felicity – down to the damn wedding dress L*urelwas wearing.

And then Oliver decided he’d rather live in a world where he had asnowball’s chance in hell of getting back together with Felicity rather thanstay in a dream world with L*urel living their white picket fence existence.

L*urel telling Oliver ON HER DEATH BED he was the love ofher life and he responded with silence.

Of course, Oliver didn’t really have tosay anything. L*urel already wished for him to get back together with Felicity

and acknowledged she knew she wasn’t the love of Oliver’s life.

Oliver telling Felicity, HIS WIFE, that no matter who shebecomes she will always be the love of his life.

That shit was hysterical.

You could be simply referring to general commitment too. Rememberthe time Oliver cheated on L*urel with her sister?

Or when he cheated on L*urelAGAIN with Samantha (who was also her friend), got her pregnant and never told L*urel until Samanthashowed up in the damn bunker?

Comedy at its best.

Or when Oliver ran for the hills every time L*urel mentionedany kind of cohabitation and/or long term future together?

I laughed my ass offboth times he did it.

The North China Sea and an island from hell were preferablethan a lifetime with L*urel L*nce. HILARIOUS.

Maybe the “wedding thing” isn’t the show at all. You couldbe referring to comments from the cast and crew in relation to Oliver’sromantic endgame like:

Stephen saying it didn’t matter if L*urel had lived. Oliverwould never be with her and it was always going to be Felicity on their show.

The showrunner confirming Bl*ck S*ren and Oliver would neverbe together romantically.

The showrunner saying Oliver would NEVER cheat on Felicity.

The showrunner discussing Emily and Stephen’s chemistry andhow it was lightning in a bottle, while acknowledging Stephen and KC’schemistry is a hot mess. (Friendly reminder you can’t fix chemistry issuesbetween actors no matter how many different versions of the character theyplay.)

ALL KNEE SLAPPERS!!!!! Completely agree Anon.

If you’re going to laugh your ass off about something itshould at least be what happened in the show. There’s plenty of stuff I gotwrong.

I’ll help you out. Let’s see… I said Tommy was Prometheus. That was a goodone.

I also said there was absolutely no way Arrow would marry Oliver to theonly lesbian on the show. Boy did I miss the mark that time.

Or how about whenI said that L*urel L*nce was going to die.

Oh wait. Nope. That happened.

Then I said the writers would never bring our L*urel back to lifeagain.

Shit. That happened too. Well, I gotta get a few of them right once andawhile.

But why talk about the past? This is about the future as you say Anon and of course you’re right. Mia is clearlyBl*ck S*ren’s daughter. BECAUSE GREEN EYES AND BLONDE HAIR.

Of course Hollywood’snumber one concern when casting a role is matching hair and eye color rather than finding the right actor for the role. Just ask Dakota Fanning.She played everyone’s kid. I’m sure she couldn’t even get in the door beforedocumenting her eye and hair color.

She probably needed a DNA sample too because we know the actors areactually producing real children to play their fictional children and thenmagically aging them 20 years. Someone should tell Kat McNamara that Katie isreally her mom. What a hell of an episode that’ll make. SO META.

It’s so sad we have yet to invent hair dye or coloredcontacts if this kind of detail is really important to a director. DAMN YOUSCIENCE.

I mean of course Felicity can’t be the mother because she’sa bottle blonde. Whereas Bl*ck S*ren, who you love to remind us is anexact replica of E1 L*urel L*nce, is clearly a natural blonde. Just like ourL*urel was.

Oh. Nevermind.

It’s a real mystery where that blonde hair comes from withMia because everybody knows children are sprouted from the heads of motherslike Zeus and Athena. Women are asexual after all. The mother’s DNA is the onlything that matters in the creation of the baby.

You know what’s weird? I have brownhair and brown eyes. So how did my daughter get the most beautiful blonde hairand blue eyes the world has ever seen? OH MY GOD!!! IS SHE NOT MY BABY? AM ILIVING SWITCHED AT BIRTH? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *picks up phone to call police*

Hang on.

I’m trying to remember my sex education. I assureyou it’s been awhile. I feel like at some point someone told me the father alsoplays a fairly significant role in the creation of a human being. Somethingabout sperm.

My husband has blonde hair and blue eyes. So maybe it’s possiblethe man I’ve been sleeping with for 13 years impregnated me with thischild (if we’re to believe the junk science of sex education) and passed on hisblonde hair and blue eyes to her. THE MIND REELS. *putting down the phone*

So if Mia wasn’t sprouted from the head of her mother andArrow has embraced the insanity of actual science, I guess it’s possible that Miagot her blonde hair from OLIVER.

Wow.

But what about those eyes? It’s IMPOSSIBLE for two blue eyedpeople like Oliver and Felicity to produce a green eyed baby. Although, Iseem to remember my 10th grade science teacher saying somethingabout two blue eyes making green in our genetics unit. I also did a 5 secondGoogle search and some guys from the Stanford Genetic labs also confirm it’spossible, but there’s no way they know more than you Anon. I definitely think your dunk-a-person-in-water-and-if-they-don’t-drown-it-means-they-aren’t-a-witch kind of science makes a hell of a lot more sense than Stanford geneticists. If there’sone thing history taught us it’s to follow the science of 1600s Salem,Massachusetts.

But maybe I misunderstood again. Your word gymnastics is sotricky and smart. It’s hard to keep up!

Maybe you just meant Bl*ck S*ren getspregnant by Mr. Rando. I’m sure we’ll see her love story develop any day now,since she has to get pregnant really soon for Mia’s age to make a damn bit ofsense. Certainly Bl*ck S*ren’s relationship with Mr. Rando will take precedenceover Oliver and Felicity’s love story. It’s not like the show is centered onOlicity, so I’ll be on the lookout for this impending great romance.

Genetics aside, you also alerted me to the iron clad proofof the audition scene!!! What would I do without you anon? I haven’t seen Mia’saudition scene, but if she mentions Bl*ck S*ren then of course it means she’sher daughter. DUH. Everything from the audition scenes ends up in the show. Question – was her name Maya in the audition?

I did see the audition tapes for nearly every actress whoauditioned for “Tina” aka Dinah Drake. Those leaked everywhere. I bet theshowrunners were pretty ticked. I’m still waiting for the writers to introduceCarlos or dive into Dinah’s service with the Marine Corps. It’s almost like theyput things in the audition scene that don’t end up on the show to throw peopleoff. Ya know, in case the scene leaks.

I remember when people thought there was a chemistry testbetween Stephen (Oliver) and the actress playing Tina (Dinah) in her audition.Everyone freaked out. Olicity was over! Oliver Queen was going to end up withthe new Bl*ck C*nary, which of course is exactly what happened in the show.

Damn it! I’m wrong again!

I really need to rewatch seasons.

Funny enough the snip it of dialogue from the audition scene for Tina did end up in an episode of Arrow. But the scene was betweenDinah and Diggle.

So weird. It’s almost like they screen tested chemistry withanother actor. But God knows that wouldn’t happen because obviously Oliver isending up with some kind of C*nary.

I know what I’m about to say is insanity, but maybe Bl*ckS*ren was mentioned in the audition scene as a diversion. It could actually beproof Mia’s character has nothing to do with Bl*ck S*ren at all. I’ll be sureto ask the writers once Carlos shows up. It’ll be any day now.

And last, but certainly not least, Bl*ck Siren and Blackstar both have the name BLACK. Does this also mean she’s Dinah and Zoe’s baby? Because they have black in their code names too . Oooh maybe Dinah and Bl*ck Siren get married!!! I do love a good wedding theory. If William ever gets a code name he better make sure it has GREEN in it so people know who the hell he is. That’s the point of a code name right? Damn. Bl*ck S*ren is CIA level. She’s so sneaky. I’m sooo impressed.

Thanks for reaching out and showing me the light Anon. Truly, I am grateful. I can’t wait to see how this response ages on Monday.

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swhurtcomfort · 5 years

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You may not need to actually write something new for this, prob you or someone has already written it, but I’d really like a story where we see Anakin (and others but mainly Anakin) react to Obi-Wan’s death and other people, particularly other Jedi feel really bad seeing him like this. Preferably both immediate reaction and long term reaction but anything with Padme+Jedi comforting Anakin over losing Obi-Wan is good. No Hardeen, butI don’t care if Obi-Wan is actually dead, ghost, or act. alive

I. Seconds

Anakin sits onthe edge of his chair, icing his sprained wrist and waiting for a droid tobecome available. The medbay is abuzz with shouting and running. His party hadsustained only a few bangs and bruises, but there have been rumors thatObi-Wan’s group ran into trouble on their way to the rendezvous.

Anakin closeshis eyes and tries to block it out, wishing someone would just bring him someboneknitters for his wrist so he could leave. He hears someone approaching, andto his surprise it is not a med droid. It’s Helix, flanked by Kix and Rex.

Helix openshis mouth to speak, then falters. Anakin sits up straight. Kix and Rex exchangematching looks of deep concern.

With one lastglance at Helix, who seems unable to explain, Kix steps forward.

“GeneralSkywalker, we’re so sorry,”

And Anakin’sworld comes crashing down.

…

II. Days

Anakin is grantedleave to return to the Temple.

Three membersof the Council meet him in the hangar. Anger burns in the back of his throatbecause it feels like a test, like they are waiting for him to screw up and dosomething emotional and un-Jedi-like. Master Windu is reaching out a hand,about to say something sympathetic but Anakin doesn’t want to hear and the lumpin his throat is threatening to betray him in that moment.

So he brushesrudely past and marches himself back to his quarters. Only he gets there helooks up, and the door in front of him is not his.

His feet havetaken him to Obi-Wan’s apartment, although he hasn’t lived there since hispadawan braid was cut. Obi-Wan, gone.Never coming back.

That’s thepart that doesn’t feel real yet, the permanence of it. Because he punches inhis old key code and it still works, and the inside doesn’t look like a deadperson’s apartment. Obi-Wan left in a hurry, never doubting that he would comehome. If he were really gone, why are his favorite teacups stacked neatly inthe sink, waiting for their owner to return and wash them? How can this bereal?

Anakin ignoresthe increasingly worried messages from Master Windu on his commlink. Mace wantsto talk about the funeral arrangements. The only arrangement that Anakin wantsto deal with is sending a secure message to Ahsoka, and praying that it willfind its way to wherever she is.

The day comestoo soon. The body on the pyre barely looks like Obi-Wan, and it makes Anakinsick. He and Yoda stand in the front, as members of a fallen Jedi’s lineageshould. They are the only ones left who are both alive and in the Order (Ahsokastands in the back, and Anakin wants to talk to her – maybe thank her for coming or ask how she’sbeen – but she’s gone before the funeral is over).

Master Winduapproaches as the attendees are filing out. “Skywalker,”

Anakin looksat the floor to hide the tears streaking his face, wondering if he canplausibly blame them on the smoke. Master Windu’s gaze fills him with hot shameand horror at the reality of what has happened, what has been broken and cannever be fixed. He feels certain that the elder Jedi is weighing his reactioneven now, collecting information to use against him later.

But when Macecontinues, his tone holds nothing but sadness. “Obi-Wan touched many hearts inthis Order. You are not alone.”

It’s hard notto feel that way, though.

…

III. Weeks

He thoughtthat there could be no worse feeling than the fresh, gaping wound, but at leastthen he could lock the doors and wrap himself in a blanket and let his emotionscarry him away. Grief grows duller, but more chronic. Often he wishes he couldgather it all up and just have a good cry instead of this shallow, constantache.

Obi-Wan iseverywhere that he goes.

Anakin saved afew of Obi-Wan’s things before the cleaning droids got into the apartment. Hehides them in his own rooms, but paranoia grows in him. He’s afraid someonewill find them, and realize what a sentimental waste of a Jedi he’s become (orso the voice in his head tells him). He’s also afraid that if that happens,people will want him to get rid of the items.

He packs upall the teacups and flower pots and Mandalorian seashells in a box, and carriesit to the senatorial building. Padmé’s stomach is getting rounder, and thesight of her sends a spike of happiness shooting through the miserable fog inhis brain. There’s worry in her eyes when she greets him.

“Ani, youlook…frazzled,” she observes. He tries to explain.

There’s adrawer in the bottom of Padmé’s bureau that has been slowly filling up withAnakin’s clothes, and the thought of it makes him feel safe – like there’s apart of him that the Jedi Order cannot touch.

“You reallythink the Jedi are going to be angry with you for having…seashells?” she asksas Anakin as she watches him swathe another teacup in a spare cloak and slideit to the back of the drawer.

“It’s notabout the shells. It’s about what they mean.They want me to forget him, Padmé.”

“I’m sure theydon’t.” Padmé’s knowledge on the subject comes primarily from Bail, who likelygot it from Obi-Wan, but she still suspects Anakin is imagining the Council ascrueler than they are.

Anakin is toowound up to listen. “If I want to be a good Jedi, I have to let him go. Butdoes that make me a bad friend if I do?”

“You won’tforget him,” Padmé soothes, taking him by the elbow and pulling him in to faceher. “And the Order hasn’t forgotten him either. You have to know that.”

Anakin shakeshis head.

“I return toduty next week. Obviously they think I should be better by now,” he says with alittle sniff.

“Ani, there’sno time limit of when you’re allowed to miss him. You loved Obi-Wan. You stilllove him. Give yourself permission to grieve.”

Anakin sighs.“You don’t understand.”

“Then tellme,” she says matter-of-factly, sitting down on the ottoman and waitingexpectantly.

…

IV. Months

“No,” Anakin practically spits, and thelittle Twi’lek boy flinches.

“I’m sorry,”Anakin amends, suddenly reminded of how it felt to be a child and unsure of hisplace within the Order. “It isn’t your fault that that meddling green trollcan’t leave me alone. I’m sure you’ll be chosen by a much better Master than me.”

“But MasterSkywalker, Master Yoda told me…”

“Yeah, I know.But I’m not taking another apprentice.”

Snips willremain his first and only padawan. It will mean the end of their lineage, buthe knows somehow that Obi-Wan would understand.

What hedoesn’t know, though, is how Obi-Wan would have reacted to what he was about todo.

He walksslowly to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, and feels change flowing throughthe Force like a breeze. He sits down beneath Obi-Wan’s favorite tree andcloses his eyes. It feels like saying goodbye.

His meditationis interrupted by a gentle tap on his knee from Yoda’s gimer stick.

“Mostdisappointed, Initiate Fingol is,” Yoda says, shaking his head.

“I am not theone who gave him false hopes, Master,”Anakin snaps.

“The Councilseeks to help you, Knight Skywalker. And a good teacher, you are.”

“We both knowmy teaching skills are not the reason the Council is so hell-bent on this,”says Anakin, speaking more freely than he ever has to the grandmaster. “You’venever stopped looking at me like a bomb that might go off if it were jostled. Youwant this because you want me to feel like I can’t go anywhere or do anythingyou don’t approve of because I’m responsible for some kid. To trap me here.”

“To trap you,no,” Yoda corrects him sternly. “To ground you, young Skywalker. A greatchallenge, the past year has been, greater than any you have faced.”

Anakin blinksaway the tears in his eyes.

“But always,the Force returns like saplings in the ashes of a forest. Much, our lineage haslost. But new limbs, it may grow. New connections, and new purpose.”

“I think I’vealready found that,” says Anakin softly, thinking of Padmé and her baby.

“Where?”

Anakin shakeshis head. “I was never meant to do this. Maybe the Council was right from dayone, in some twisted way. I’ve never been a proper Jedi. I can’t let him go, andI don’t want to.”

“An uncertainfuture, the Council foresaw, not a lack of potential. And a fine Jedi you havebecome,” says Yoda.

“No.”

Anakin doesn’tcare if he is projecting, or whether Yoda has caught snippets of his thoughtsintentionally as they sat together beneath the tree, Anakin’s Force presencestill raw from his painful meditation. Yoda sees the clones directing Anakininto a back room of the medbay where he glanced beneath the sheet over the motionlessform on the table and collapsed to the floor in sobs. Yoda knows how manynights in the following month Anakin stayed up crying, and he knows about theteacups shoved in the back of Padmé’s dresser drawer.

“Misunderstandyou do, Skywalker. Condemn these emotions, the Jedi do not. Natural, the painof loss is. To the Force, you must entrust these feelings, and trust that youwill heal and grow from them.”

“I have toleave.”

Anakin dropsthe statement like something heavy, he can almost feel the beat in the Force.

“The firsttime you have considered it, this is not,” Yoda states.

“I’m seriousthis time.”

“Upset, youare right now. But the Jedi are not what you think we are. What you have alwaysfeared us to be.”

Anakin pondersthis.

“I think it’stoo late. It doesn’t matter who’s misunderstood. I can’t stay.”

It’s Yoda’sturn to look surprised, and emotion that Anakin finds thoroughly unsettlingcoming from him.

Finally thegrandmaster sighs. “Right, you may be.”

It’s not theanswer Anakin had expected, and it throws him for a moment.

“Sorry, I am,”says Yoda.

Anakinhesitates for a moment. “I’m sorry too.”

He turns away,silently saying one final goodbye to the tree, one of the only things he willmiss here. It had been Obi-Wan’s favorite meditation spot, and Anakin had comehere often in the past few months, trying to feel closer to him.

He turns away—turnstowards Padmé, and his family. His family.He’d always imagined having one as a child, but on Naboo that dream is evensweeter than on Tatooine. His child will grow up free on a planet of deeprivers and green fields. They’ll be happier than he has been. He’ll make sureof it.

He turns awayfrom the life that Obi-Wan had so desperately wanted for him, and hopes thatsomewhere in the Force, his old master will forgive him.

As he leavesthe Room of a Thousand Fountains, he thinks he sees a hand on his shoulder, hethinks he feels a supportive little squeeze. He turns around and sees onlyYoda, meditating beneath the tree.

#@finnskywxlkxr #anakin #obi-wan #padme #yoda #tw major character death #Emotional Hurt/Comfort #post tcw season 6 but pre rots #anakin leaves the order au

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dat-one-gal · 6 years

Text

Sweet Little Thought (LustBerry) Short Story

Another party..another lonely night. One where everyone avoids you like the plague just because of where you come from, look like.....and sometimes act like. Lust sighed as he put a smile on his face his eye-lights dull. He looked at the drink he had in his cup many would think it to be alcohol but...Lust actually hates the taste or even smell of the stuff. He stood in the corner other's quickly walking away from him or sometimes even running. Other's just never made eye contact with him. Lust forced himself not to cry as he swirled his drink around in his cup, thoughts swam around in his head as he spaced out. One thought stood out the most as well as a few others. Anger being in the top three...he had the right to be angry right?... He sighed and moved on from the thought. The rest being darker than he normally would have welcomed into his mind...but the blaring music the sound of laughter and....love filled the air. How come he wasn't allowed to love...and if he did why was it saw as 'fake' or even 'WrOnG' he could feel the tears trying to escape his eye sockets now. A lump in his throat, he quickly took a drink of his punch trying to wash away the feelings of sadness with it. The thoughts just kept coming along with the tears that tried to push there way out of his eye sockets but refused to let happen. He took a deep breath. It wasn't a bad idea....'Suicide'....right? He gripped his cup tightly and glared softly at the floor. No, he had no right to end his life. He had no right to smother out what was given to him just as he had no right to be angry or....even love for that matter. Lust looked up and was met by a pair of baby blue eyes looking up at him worriedly "Lust?" the soft voice rang in Lust's ears it seemed to cut through the music and loud voices echoing around the room. Lust's thoughts stopped as if frozen in time. "I..I ummm. Yes?" He stammered...Lust never studders or wastes a chance to 'flirt'.

◻◻◻

Yet another party it was fun. Never a lonely night at parties like this. everyone seems to talk to you and share a laugh with you. It's always nice to meet a new person. he walked around sometimes talking to people or serving them food and drinks he had on a plate held level with my head. he saw some people rushing away from a corner but he couldn't see who was in the corner or what rather. Someone...Red to be exact stopped abruptly in front of him "Blue?! Did you invite him?!!" Red chucked a thumb behind him anger written all over his face but it wasn't directed towards Blue that's for sure. He leaned to look pasted Red and tilted his head slightly as he saw purple, then when someone moved clearly startled Blue could see Lust. The look in his eye sent a shiver down his spine. He knows that look all too well... He then leaned back and put a hand on my hip and glared at Red "Yes? Do you have a problem with that?" Red gulped and shook his head "I-I was ju-just asking." He smiled nervously and Blue raised a bone brow he obviously didn't buy it but before he could say anything Red ran away not wanting to fall victim to Blue's anger. Blue sighed and slowly made his way over to Lust setting the plate he had in his hands on the table. Lust seemed to be lost in his thoughts and if you looked close enough you could see tears trying to push their way to the surface. Blue tensed up slightly he could feel his SOUL grow heavy just from the thought of what Lust could be thinking. Blue now stood in front of Lust his eye's glowed with worry as he looked up at the sad skeleton. "Lust?" Blue said softly he was sacred he had said it too softly but was shocked to see Lust rais he head and look at him "I..I ummm. Yes?" Lust studdered.

◻◻◻

Lust looked at the smaller who just seemed to get more worried as time ticked away. "Are...are you ok?" Blue asked gently looking Lust directly in the eye. Lust looked away from Blue not used to someone holding eye contact with him "Of course Baby Blue~!" Lust attempted to flirt but Blue knew what he was trying to do "I'm not stupid nor am I leaving." Lust looked a Blue a bit shocked Blue sighed and rolled his eyes before he grabbed Lust's hand and began to drag him to the front door. Many had a happy look on their faces as they thought Lust was being kicked out other's just scowled at Lust. Blue glared right back at those who scowled scaring them a bit, Blue suddenly opened the door and pushed Lust outside many began to laugh but everything stopped when Blue growled then slammed the door behind him going outside with Lust.

Everyone got quite as the music seemed to stop some looked around worriedly others seemed scared for Blue. Some moved to the living room window to see what was going on outside. many other's following their lead in watching what was going on.

◻◻◻

Blue slammed the door and Lust just stood and watched. He could really care less what Blue did or how he felt it wasn't much different to anyone else at least in Lust's eyes. Blue walked over to Lust his eyes shadowed by the darkness of the underground. Lust took a step back but was soon tackled into a hug by Blue, Lust stumbled but managed to keep his balance. "B-Blue?" Lust studdered a faint tint of blush on his face. Blue didn't say anything and just hugged Lust tighter "I'm sorry." Blue muttered Lust looked at Blue in confusion and worry "For what?" Lust asked slowly wrapping his arms around the smaller "For your misunderstood SOUL." Blue whispered, at those words Lust seemed to break down. The tears he had tried so desperately to stop seemed to ignore him and roll down his cheeks. "I....I don't-" Lust was cut off by Blue who shook his head "No...It's ok. Don't speak for a while. Just...let it out." Lust trembled "N-not here p-please." Blue let go of Lust and nodded. Blue grabbed Lust's hand and made his way down the stairs as he guided Lust to his hiding spot. Somewhere only Blue knew about somewhere Blue went to cry it all out or just think if he needed to.

After a few minutes had passed Blue took a sharp turn making Lust gasp as he almost fell the slick ice under his purple boots causing him to almost lose his balance. Blue tugged Lust into a small but rather cozy spot tucked behind the trees and dimly lit up by fairy lights. Lust looked around a small smile on his face at the sight. Blue tugged on his hand as he sat down on the icy ground bring Lust down with him who sat next to him. Blue let go of Lust's hand. "You can let it all out here." Lust sighed and just looked down at his hand tiredly. "No...it's ok. I...don't need to cry anymore," he mumbled Blue sighed but nodded respecting his wishes. They sat in silence for a long while before Blue spoke up breaking the silence "You...you shouldn't worry about what others think of you." Blue said softly looking up at Lust. "I know...its just hard." Lust whispered Blue nodded in understanding "You look really tried." Lust chuckled dryly and nodded "Ya...I guess you could say im...bone-tried."Blue giggled softly. "Rest." Lust just shook his head "Nah...besides there's nowhere to rest." Blue shook his head a small smile on his face he tugged Lust down pulling the taller's head into his lap. Lust looked up at Blue raising a bone brow "Really?" Blue shrugged "Why not?" He giggled softly Lust sighed purple blush coating his cheeks he then closed his eyes trying his best to relax. He soon found himself drifting off into a peaceful sleep as Blue watched over him. Blue hummed softly as he looked up at the ceiling of the Underground. It was decorated in little gems that were said to shine like stars but nothing could ever be as beautiful compared to the real thing. Blue smiled as he looked down at the sleeping skeleton in his lap. He would beg to differ because he has found something beautiful and that is a love that couldn't compare to any other. The SOUL that stood out in the sleeping skeletons chest seemed to shine just as bright if not brighter. "Kindness is all you need. Sometimes it's the only thing we can give." Blue hummed out thinking aloud he smiled and waited for Lust to wake

◻◻◻

Those inside the house were quite as they watched what happened outside in shock Lust was crying...CRYING...Everyone watched as the two walked away after talking about something they couldn't hear. Classic opened the front door other' pouring out behind him to get a better look at the two walking away. Red sighed and looked at Classic then back at the two skeletons "So...anyone wanna guess what happened with...Lust?" Classic asked only to be greeted with silence "Ya...I thought so." Classic grumbled getting shocked and confused looks from everyone besides Red who understood Classic the best "Don't look at me like that." Classic growled out "You KNOW what you did so don't pretend like you DON'T" Classic shouted at them before sighing harshly and rubbing his temples "You all are insurable jerks." Classic mumbled the others looked ashamed Outer walked out to stand next to Classic "Sorry." He muttered Classic raised a brown brow "For?" He asked unamused "For what I did to Lust." Classic nodded "And who should we say that to?" Classic asked placing his hands on his hips "Lust." Outer muttered getting a nod of approval from Classic. Outer blushed slightly and sighed trying to hide the blush that was slowly taking over his face as Classic smiled at him before turning around to scold the others.

◻◻◻

Hours had passed and they still weren't back everyone was starting to get worried something had happened, but before they knew it they saw a blue and purple splotch of color slowly walking to them. Once the blue and purple splotch got closer it became clear, it was Lust carrying a sleeping Blue bridal style. Lust just walked past them ignoring them and into Blue's room a few moments passed and it seemed Lust wasn't planning on coming out anytime soon, but they seemed to be proven wrong when Lust walked out of the room closing the door softly behind him and was greeted by guilty face and a butt load of apologies from SOME Sans' others seemed not to care or just didn't speak. Lust sighed and excepted the apologies one after another those that had apologized were happy that he had accepted the apology. Classic watched smiling as he stood next to Lust who didn't seem to care much for Classic standing next to him. He could tell a lot of this was faked, some of it real, other's just didn't care enough to say sorry which Lust preferred. If you don't mean it, don't say it right? Well, that's what Lust lived by anyways. Lust just accepted everything they said before he walked away getting some punch and walking up to Blue's room and sat on the floor thinking about everything they had said to him while he waited for Blue to wake up.

This was going to be interesting.

#lustberry #swap sans #lust sans #au's #au's undertale #undertale sans #fell sans #outer sans #short story #au ships

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confusedinfj · 6 years

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Infj VS Infp

I'm always disowning a lot of so-called infj features and saying they're actually mistyped infp and isfp features, so here's a summary for you. You can mainly tell an infj and an Infp apart by how they are when they're stressed or angry.

I am NOT saying infjs are perfect. They just have different faults than the ones commonly ascribed to them.

Infp

An example of an angry infp. Tom Hiddleston hearing misquotes of Shakespeare 😂

The Fi DOOR SLAM. Yes, you heard me: the Fi DOOR SLAM. This occurs when Fi takes offence and has to cut a person off or ruin its image of self. It looks like a silent tantrum, and it is not a noble thing, no matter how hard fake infjs try to make it sound.

Passive aggression. Wait, is the Infp angry at me, or are they just tired? No, I think that comment was a dig at me. I can't tell....

Silent tantrums. When your infp doesn't speak to you, and manages to cut you out and make you feel excluded while including you just enough that no one else notices. Mad skillz.

Weird thinking. Like the modern Sherlock. Weird positions, weird rituals - just a bit weird really.

Incomplete ideas. Infps are likely to change their mind five times in a debate. Inferior Te can't help it.

Certain about feelings. Fi users will say they don't know what they're feeling, but they can usually have a pretty good guess. They'll usually be able to work it out without too much help, and if they can't it will be evident in their behaviour. If your i*fp cries over spilt milk, it's okay. They probably feel better now.

Short term feelings. Similar to above. Fi users say things they don't mean when they're upset, because, in that moment, they do mean them. Fe users can really struggle with these 'shallow emotions', which are powerful but short lived. I used to think Fi users were lying about not meaning things they'd say while angry, but then I heard of mbti and I was like - oh. They're just not me. Let's just say Fi emotions are like oceans. Deep and intense, but they swimming all over them, so they kinda know what's going on.

Turbulent. Infps lead with feeling, and - particularly when they're younger - feelings can change. That's why infps are on a quest to find their inner selves. They want to understand how they really feel about things.

A need to be misunderstood. Yes, contrary to everything they indicate, infps don't want to be understood. They want you to understood that they're a mysterious soul - that's about it. Fi makes an Infp feel special, and if you crack their Fi code they will instantly feel worthless. (btw infps, it doesn't work that way. You're still special.).

Play the victim to tell you off for hurting them. Aw, poor little infp is upset because I didn't want to do exactly what she wanted. Poor little infp is brooding quietly in a corner. Awww. TOO BAD INFPS. Ignore and they might actually tell you what's wrong 😎 This is the Infp's second shadow function (critical parent) at play here - Ni. It lets them know most people will pity them if the use the victim act, because they feel bad. Critical parent Ni SHOWS YOU WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THEM. And yes, intps do this too.

Zero Se. They're not even sure if Se is real. What is it? If an Infp is showing signs of Se you should probably take them home, give them a book and a hot drink, and just watch them like a baby. Se in infps is unnatural. They will become even more quickly overwhelmed by stimuli than an infj because of this. But they're more likely to be in touch with their body because of Si.

Snappy control freaks when stressed or down. If you have an inf* friend and you can't call the last letter, think about what they do when stressed or sad. Do they snap at you? Say things they don't mean later? Obsessively try to control your behaviour and their environment? That's inferior Te.

Liked in spite of everything. If you can't type someone and people say they love them in spite of everything, they're almost definitely an i*fp. After all, they're still cupcakes 🎂

Infj

The face of an angry infj... Pewdiepie talking defending how much money he earns 😂 look, it's all in the eyes tbh.

The Infj door ajar. When you make it clear to the infj that they're not wanted, so they go home and close their door. But if you come back and say sorry they open it ever so slightly so you can prove yourself before you come back in.

Sudden aggression. Yes, you heard me. SUDDEN AGGRESSION. Fi mistypes have made it seem like infjs are the most subtle, passive aggressive people ever. Well they're not. Infjs will try to resolve their issues before telling you, so the depth of their grievance may overwhelm you. You might not get it the first time they tell you. So they get frustrated and appear to suddenly get very angry. Am I saying this is a good thing? No, but IMHO it's better than not telling anyone what you're upset about. Anyway, infjs only yell at people they really care about, to finally get their point across, so bear that in mind. If an infj is yelling at you they are 2000% done.

Silent anger. Ever so slightly different from a silent tantrum, because... It's anger. Every one who has ever seen an infj in their rare angry state has reported it to be scary (it's rare because an INFJ'S default reaction is sad). If an infj is telling you what's wrong you can fix the problem. If an infj is silent, you probably can't fix that.

No perceivable thinking, until weird questions. This is why infjs can be mistyped as Ne users or Te users. Occasionally they will need to think through an idea aloud (weak Ti), and thanks to the Ni-Ti loop it's probably some weird stuff. Infjs are also perceived as arrogant and thoughtless thanks to Ni- Ti, since it means they've probably thought about most things already and can just ANSWER when you ask them.

Complete ideas. Most of the time when an infj shares a thought it will be complete, which is why infjs often win arguments. Their Ni-Ti hasn't just considered their position, it's also considered your position, and your position on their position.

What R feelingz? Not all F types are the same. Some are Fe users, and let me be clear: they don't have Fi. They don't know why they feel tense - they probably didn't even realise they did feel tense. If your infj displays any form of emotion it is much deeper than it probably appears. Infj crying over spilt milk? Something is very wrong. You have to make them talk about themselves in the third person so they can work it out, because you probably can't. (*applies to Enfjs too, and all Fe users*).

Deep feelings. No, I'm not saying Fi users don't have deep feelings. I'm saying if an infj is crying about one thing, that's probably just the surface. People often complain that infjs and Enfjs in particular are emotionally mean for not sharing the full depth of their feelings, but in reality they don't know it's there. *nfjs are just sailing on the ocean of their emotions, they don't know what's what. So if they do mention something to you, take it seriously and times it by about 1000% in your head for full impact. *nfjs don't say things they don't mean when they're angry, but they may say things they've been keeping to themselves in a way they later regret. So if an *nfj is saying horrible things to you about you, don't assume they don't mean them: they do. Just try and filter the anger out and pretend they said them nicely 😂 Note: saying things in a way they regret means they may imply things they didn't mean. *nfjs don't always hear the full implications of things until they're said aloud, so try to hear the gist of what they're saying rather than taking it literally. It's why *nfjs often accidentally say things that sound dirty. They just don't realise until Fe filters it through people's reactions. 😂

Assertive. Infjs aren't as mysterious as Fi mistypes have led you to believe. In fact, infjs often tell you exactly who they are and how they work, only to be disappointed that most people don't lead with Ni and aren't trying to construct a picture of how they work. So next time your infj is upset because you don't understand them, realise they probably explained it to you already.

A need to be understood. Infjs want you to understand them. They only kind of understand themselves, and they could use some help. Don't accuse an infj of deliberately being mysterious, cos it's not true. They legit don't have a clue, k?

Tell you off for hurting them by keeping you accountable. INFJ'S critical parent is Fi, so prepare to take a good look at yourself in the mirror. If an infj feels the need to tell you off for hurting them, it's going to be calm, it's going to be rational, and it's going to hurt. You will feel guilty, because Ni-Fe will tell you exactly why you did it and why it hurt the infj. For example, maybe you lied to an infj. An infj would tell you it hurt them and go on to say something like, 'why lie about it? You know what that tells me? That tells me you knew you were doing something wrong. Because otherwise you wouldn't have felt the need to keep it from me.' And suddenly you will feel worse than them, as the infj realises the problem is yours, not theirs.

Zero Si. I don't even really know what Si is, that's how much I have it. If your infj is exhibiting signs of Si they're in a crippling state of anxiety/depression where they're trying to micromanage their world in an attempt to survive. It won't work, make them party. Zero Si also means you should take your infj seriously if they say they're sick. Idk why, but infjs NEVER look sick. Even when they're dying, they never look sick. And because of zero Si Infjs don't often feel a sickness coming on. It just hits them, and they wallow in misery, trapped in the prison that is their body 😭

Reckless when stressed or a little down. If you're in doubt about your inf* friend, think about what they do when they're stressed or sad. Do they want to go out with you? Party with you? Just do anything but stay home? That's inferior Se.

Disliked for no reason. If you can't type someone and everyone dislikes them, but no one really knows why, they're an infj. After all, they're just so... Not normal🐔

Edit: here are some pictures that symbolise for me what an infp-infj relationship of any kind is like. This is an over-idealised relationship, because fake infjs (infps) often talk about being friends with the real infps, and it's really just infp-infp 😂

And here are two which way seem contradictory. The infj is on the right in both pictures 😋

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ablanariwho · 5 years

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Yashoda And Kaikeyi – Fantasy vs Reality Of A Step Mother

Are stepmoms really evil or are they simply victims of circumstances in a patriarchal society?

Disclaimer: This post talks about those women who do not have a say in marrying a widower or divorcee with children. However, those who chose to be a second wife or a step mother, may or may not relate to some parts of this post It is not intended to malign any individual, but highlight the plight of women in a patriarchal society where stepmotherhood is imposed on them and then they are judged for not being able to love their step children like a real mother.

She was standing in front of her new home. There was no one at the door to receive her. No floral decoration, no banana tree branches flanking both sides of the door with decorative earthen holy pots at its feet; no gathering of married women, led by a mother-in-law, waiting happily with anxious anticipation to receive her with all the customary preparations. There was no shehnai playing in the background, no uludhwani to welcome her.

She slowly and hesitantly pushed the half open door with her palm. There was no sacred brass pot kept at the threshold of the main entrance of the house, filled with a heap of rice over its brim that a new bride is supposed to gently tumble down by her toes before stepping in. There was no platter of water mixed with ‘Álta’ (a red dye Indian women, especially Bengali married women use to paint the sides of their feet) in which a new bride is supposed to dip her feet and then walk inside, stepping onto a new cloth rolled out on the floor, leaving her footprint on it, symbolizing the arrival of ‘Lakshmi’ – the goddess of wealth .

She knocked at the door. A young adolescent boy came out. He was, at first, a little startled to see her there. But he did not ask her who she was. He guessed who she could be. The fresh sindoor along the woman’s hair parting was enough introduction. The woman did not miss to notice the awkwardness, the slight shadow of resentment mixed with a tinge of sadness in his eyes. She tried to smile and slowly and shyly asked, “You are the eldest one, right?” The teenager nodded and then turning his gaze towards the floor, said in a low voice, “Please come in.”

She stepped into her new home.

Illustration by Vidya Bhamre

Arrangement of convenience

She was the second wife of a middle-aged man – a widower with half a dozen children. All those matrimonial rituals to receive a new bride into her marital home were not meant or required for her. Her marriage took place over the tragic incidence of the untimely death of the man’s previous wife. Hence, there was no celebration. In some cases, a second wife may arrive after a sad separation with the first one. In that case, some ceremonies may still happen. But in this case, there was none. Her marriage was truly an ‘’arrangement of convenience’’ without all these frills. The man in his early forties needed a woman firstly to manage his household and family of half a dozen children aged between 6 months and 16 years and secondly as his spouse and companion.

The average looking, slightly dark-complexioned woman, much younger than the man she had just got married to, came from a poor family. They could not get her married to an eligible bachelor. When they received this proposal, they were more than happy to give away their daughter’s hand to him. There was no demand for dowry, jewelry or anything. The only pre-condition and expectation was that the woman would readily accept the role of a ‘mother’ and deliver the responsibility of nurturing a big family of children left by the previous wife of the man, besides playing other roles of a new life-partner to him. The woman had no choice or say in this arrangement. She accepted it as she knew it was always better to be someone’s wife than spending all her life as a single, unmarried woman in her maiden home, depending on her poor father or brothers. She knew, that wouldn’t be a much honorable life.

The woman, who arrived alone without any ceremonious reception, died after spending around five decades of her life in that home. She did not have her own children. She took care of the six children of her husband’s previous marriage. I could see her depart as a sad, defeated, unfulfilled soul. The boy, who received her on her arrival for the first time, did the funeral rites. He was in his fifties by then. As per Hindu norms, a son is supposed to shave off his head as a mark of respect and a part of the last rites of his parents. In this case, the priest conducting the ceremony said a stepmother is not entitled to that right by the scriptures. Today, there is no photograph of the woman in his house. The photograph of his own late mother sits rightfully next to his late father’s photo. The stepmother, the second wife, the childless woman is remembered and still criticized only for all her frailties and misdeeds and nothing else. After all she was a stepmother.

Can 'motherhood' be imposed?

This has happened with scores of women. They were picked up from underprivileged circumstances and right away assigned to the responsibility of a ‘Mother’ – the most important and difficult job of parenting. Her age gap with the step children, mental maturity or emotional strength, nothing was considered to check if she was fit for this role or not. In case of stepmothers, the complexities of parenting are further compounded. Hence, it should be thought about more.

Has society ever spared any thought on this? I don’t think so.

Painting by Raja Ravi Verma of Yashoda adorning baby Krishna

Source: Wikipedia

Is motherhood misunderstood?

Despite having heard scores of stories of stepmothers being bad to their stepchildren, men, while bringing a stepmother in their children’s lives, prefer to believe that in their personal cases, she would definitely and unfailingly turn out to be a divine “Yashoda” and not a cunning and jealous “Kaikeyi”! They have no choice but the need to justify and base their decision to marry again on this belief and hope. Many a times, this belief makes them turn a blind eye to the reality of a woman’s psychological and emotional complexities in raising a stepchild. They end up never realizing the fact that their second wives could never really replicate a “Yashoda” and love the children of their husband’s first wives same as their own biological offspring.

This proves, patriarchal society has not understood motherhood in its true sense or from the perspective of a woman. It has either over-hyped it or downplayed it. In one hand it has deified motherhood. On the other hand, it has taken motherhood, so much for granted. It doesn’t understand that a woman, just for being a woman, does not have an obligation or instant inclination to feel motherly towards anyone she is expected to or asked to, especially towards stepchildren.

In most of the cases, quite naturally, a stepmother fails this humongous expectation of the society and thus, earns the bad reputation of a stereo-typical ‘stepmother’. Despite serving this difficult role, most of the time not as their own choice, step mothers carry this tag of evil human beings, through-out ages in folktales, mythological stories or epics, worldwide, barring exceptions such as one “Yashoda” in the Mahabharata. (She was not a stepmother though; she was a foster mother who raised and took care of Krishna for a while without knowing that he was not born out of her womb).

In one hand, the society labels a stepmother negatively. It does not understand her predicament. On the other hand, it casually imposes the unrealistic high expectation of being Yashoda on them which requires almost divine power to overcome all ordinary limitations of human emotions. This is unfair and an example of mindless double standard applied by the patriarchal society on women.

I think this happens due to the following reasons:

1) Ignorance, lack of insight and awareness of the society (read men) about female psychology, her sexuality, her motherhood, her emotional complexities.

Being male, men do not have the direct experience of bearing and giving birth to children. That makes them incapable of experiencing firsthand what motherhood is in terms of physical and emotional attachment with the child from the day of conception. They do not, hence, realize how difficult it is for a woman to love and care for a child, who is not her own, with whom she does not have that intimate physical and emotional connection to develop the sense of belonging and bonding. If it would have been so easy to mother children, not one’s own, there would not have been so many orphan children in the world, waiting to be adopted.

2) Women widowed or divorced, especially with children, cannot marry second or third time as easily as men. Hence, men hardly get the chance to experience what is it to be a stepfather. It restricts their ability to put themselves in the shoes of a stepmother and imagine what or how she feels like towards her stepchildren.

All over the world, it has always been much easier for widowed, divorced or separated men with children, to marry second or third time, same age or much younger women. Society, legal and religious systems, predominantly patriarchal, have always been favorable to men in this matter, in the pretext of his legitimate need for a companion and a wife to manage his household and children.

This is not the case for women, who are widowed or divorced and have children with them from previous wedlock, left behind or deserted by their fathers. Marriage is not a socially acceptable solution for them for the same reason – need for a companion and support to raise her kids and run the household. Women in such situation, rarely marry for the second or third time. Hence, men hardly get the chance to experience how it feels to take the role of a father of his wife’s children from her previous marriage. There is no popular male role model, idol, example, inspiration or reference point either for them to emulate, such as there is ‘Yashoda’ for women.

3) Men do not understand how stepchildren can remind a woman of her husband’s intimate relationship with his first wife and can make her feel extremely jealous and angry.

It is natural to feel jealous for a woman about their spouse ’s or partner’s ex. This sense of jealousy often manifests into angry, apathetic and unjust behavior with the child who was born out of another relationship of one’s partner.

To sum up, society never thought how emotionally challenging and draining it could be for women to be stepmothers. It just takes advantage of women’s underprivileged and weaker position in the society (especially in Indian context) and makes them play this difficult role. Most of the times they fail in it and also end up being judged and bad mouthed.

To me these women are misunderstood and sad victims of circumstances. People need to understand that and stop judging stepmothers. Mothering is considered to be exclusively subject to a woman’s own offspring. A stepmother can, at the most, be as humane as possible, if not motherly, towards the stepchildren.

At the same time the entire world, including the stepmothers, also need to realize that the stepchildren, who lost their own mothers at an early age or never received and experienced their own mother’s love and care, are the most unfortunate victims of circumstances. Rarely someone else can substitute the role of one's own mother or compensate for her absence.

Hence, patriarchy should stop fantasizing the story of Yashoda and Krishna happening in real life and expect the same from women.

#parenting #step mother #women psychology #yashoda #kaikeyi #mahabharata #ramayana #krishna #motherhood #pregnancy #female psychology

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bi-writes · 6 years

Text

clarity — stupid (iv)

clarity masterlist masterlist here

previously: doesn’t spider-man have better things to do? continuing: maybe you’re just looking at it all wrong

third person, peter parker x soulmate!reader warnings: maybe language, fluff word count: 2,626 4:23 pm | something is missing

Your hunt for your soulmate was slowing becoming a humiliating and embarrassing job. Every place you marked off your list was another failure to add, and you would be lying if you said the encounters weren’t awkward and completely misunderstood. You felt stupider each time you left your soulmate candidates behind you.

The bell rang as you opened the door. Your heels echoed along the sidewalk as you sulked away from the coffee shop, swallowing hard in disappointment. When you felt movement beside you, you knew he was there already, waiting for you to say something.

“So…anything?” Spider-Man pressed. You sniffled as you adjusted your glasses, shaking your head. You wiped at your eyes to rid yourself of any sadness.

“He just looked at me like I was stupid and showed me his dumb brand,” you complained, shaking your head again. Spider-Man sighed beside you, shrugging his shoulders. “He was cute, too, I was really hoping he was gonna be it.”

“Well, to be honest, (y/n), you’re supposed to feel something when you see them,” he explained. You made a sour face and stuck your tongue out at him. The whites of his mask narrowed at you.

“Oh, yeah? What makes you such an expert?” You taunted. He chuckled a little beside you, and you rolled your eyes when you realized your mistake. Of course Spider-Man had a soulmate. He was perfect. “I should’ve known.”

“W-What?”

“That you had a soulmate,” you finished. Spider-Man walked with you as you turned onto your apartment block. You had finished the list for Wednesday by now, and you needed to pick up the Thursday list. You only had a couple more days to go through, but you knew in your heart by this point that it was unlikely he was in any of the places you listed. You were sure you had met him on Tuesday. Nothing made sense now.

“I didn’t mean to…rub it in,” Spider-Man tried to apologize. You smiled sadly to yourself. You were sorry, too. It wasn’t Spider-Man’s fault that you had the worst luck in the entire world. It wasn’t his fault that the only person he couldn’t help was you; maybe the universe had lessened the whole in your heart in an attempt at pitying you. Maybe she pitied you because she knew you would be alone forever.

“No, it’s okay,” you assured him. “I figured you had one.”

“Why do you say that?” “You’re a hero. And you got…really nice things going on,” you gestured to his physique, making him laugh again. “So, I’m not surprised.”

You made it to the column of stairs that made up what was the fire escape, and you shut your eyes. Spider-Man reached out and pulled you into his chest, where you buried your forehead as he raised the two of you up to your floor. You finally opened them, hurrying inside to escape the autumn cold.

Spider-Man shut the window behind you, and something inside him stung as he watched you slump into your desk chair. He slid his backpack off, resting on the floor. You two had come to an agreement that he would sit on the floor now after you caught him the other day swinging out of a dumpster.

“What’s it like?” You asked suddenly. You kept your eyes on your board as you pinned the finished Wednesday list to it. You ripped the Thursday one off, examining the list. Spider-Man’s ears perked up at the question.

“What?”

“What’s it like? To have a soulmate?”

Spider-Man looked down at his hands, smiling underneath his mask. You set the list down as you began to fiddle with the tech on your desk.

“I-I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about that,” he concluded. You pried open one of the damaged hard drives on your desk with the flat edge of a screwdriver, shaking your head.

“No, please…I would love to hear it,” you pleaded. Spider-Man laid onto his back, folding his hands over his stomach. He stared up at the ceiling, flickering his gaze from you to the ceiling and back again. You waited patiently as you popped the top off of the hard drive. Your longing desire to find your soulmate made you wild for affection, even if it wasn’t your own, and even if it was someone else’s story.

“Well…she’s so pretty,” he said softly. Your smile grew a little, your heart swelling. “She has this amazing smile. A-And the first time I saw her…I don’t know what came over me.”

“What do you mean?” You tried, using the flat screwdriver to carefully unscrew the hardware from the hard drive’s inside. Spider-Man watched carefully.

“When I got these powers, they fixed my eyesight. I-I always had to wear glasses before,” he informed you. You nodded, thinking to yourself. Tell me about it. “And then I saw her. And it was like I went blind all over again. A-And when I could finally see again…it was like all I could see was her.”

You stopped what you were doing, looking over at him. Spider-Man was already staring at you, and you gave him a sweet grin.

“What’s she like?” You asked. Spider-Man laughed, his limbs tingling as he thought about his girl. You turned back to your hard drive, discarding of the plastic covering and laying out the parts in front of you.

“She’s…she’s great. She’s super smart, smarter than me,” he gushed. You giggled out of skepticism. “No, really! S-She’s so smart, always wanting the next best computer o-or getting that new book. She really likes staying up to date.”

Your eyes scanned over the magazines on your shelf. You pushed your glasses up your nose, your eyes scanning over the technology magazines and books and even entertainment magazines littered around. From the new iPhone and its unique specs to the Kardashian sisters, there was a piece for it all.

“I hope you’ll introduce her to me sometime,” you sighed. “I feel like we’d get along real well.”

“Y-You don’t even know,” Spider-Man whispered. You lifted the spark ignitor, a small metal needle. You had it hooked up to a switch. You were going to test the drive’s electrical currents to see where it sparked. You wanted to find the problem.

“Have you kissed her yet?” You teased, and Spider-Man sat up, leaning back on the palms of his hand. He crossed his legs, shaking his head.

“No, we haven’t.”

“Why not?” “S-She doesn’t even know it’s me.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” you joked, sending him a wink. He chuckled nervously, and you let out a little squeal as the metal in front of you sparked loudly. Spider-Man stood up quickly, but you assured him you were okay. Suddenly, he had an idea.

“You wanna help me with something?” He asked. You adjusted your glasses, shrugging your shoulders.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Well, my suit has got a lotta code and programming in it, and I’ve been meaning to go to my friend so he could help me adjust some stuff,” Spider-Man explained. “But, you look like you could use a distraction, so will you help me?”

“Sure,” you replied, giving him a small smile. You pushed your things to the side, shutting off the ignitor as you watched Spider-Man dig through his backpack. He pulled out a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, and you tilted your head to the side in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“Well, I gotta take the suit off,” he said. Your eyes widened, and you nodded.

“O-Oh, yeah…” You trailed off. You paused for a second, your eyes scanning over his arms, the spectacle the red and blue really made him, the curves of his legs. You didn’t notice he was speaking to you, but he smirked to himself when he could hear your heartbeat quickening.

“Hey, earth to (y/n)?”

You jumped a little, turning around as your cheeks went red. You forgot he needed a little privacy. When your head was turned the other way, he loosened the suit around his body. You bit your lip as you dared to peek, and you were so glad you did. Olive and tan smooth skin appeared underneath the red and blue, exquisite around those toned muscles. You could only see his back for the most part, but your mouth was agape either way.

He slid out of the suit, and your eyes rolled back in your head a little at the sight. He looked incredible, of course, and you had to suppress a whine as he pulled a pair of sweats over his legs. You turned away as he tugged his shirt over his still-masked head.

“Okay, here,” Spider-Man called out. When you turned, his suit fell into your lap. You turned it over, examining the inside as your hands felt for the end of any wires.

“Still got the mask on?” You giggled. He sat back down on the floor, shrugging his shoulders.

“As much as I consider you my friend, it’s just better if you don’t know who I am,” he explained. You nodded your head.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you said softly. You met his gaze, smiling soft. “When you’re ready, you’ll tell me.”

“A-And why are you so sure that I will?”

“I’m not,” you replied. You found a micro-USB end on one of the hidden wires, and you quickly connected it to your laptop. You powered it up, waiting for your computer to recognize the suit’s presence. “But I also don’t think that this is the last time that we’ll see each other. So…I’m just gonna hope.”

There was silence between the two of you now. It wasn’t a tense silence, it was rather comfortable. You watched as the terminal and activity monitor of the suit suddenly opened over your desktop, and you bit your lip.

“Jesus, this thing is amazing,” you whispered as you scrolled through the terminal. Spider-Man stood beside you as your eyes went over the subsystems and coding. “So what is it I need to help you with?”

“There should be something in there…called the…”

“Called the what?”

“Baby monitor protocol,” Spider-Man said through gritted teeth. You laughed a little, but quickly shut your mouth when the eyes of his mask narrowed at you. You giggled under your breath when you turned away from him, finding the subsystem and placing your hands over the keyboard.

“And what do I do with it?”

“Can you make it so that it only records when I ask it to?” “Yeah.”

You let your coding do the work, quickly adjusting it as he leaned over your shoulder. He tilted his head to look at you better, tongue between your teeth, hair spilling in waves behind your shoulders, lips pursed in concentration. You looked beautiful in the retina display light.

“Done,” you said after a few minutes. You ejected the micro-USB from the suit, turning quickly. You hadn’t realized that Spider-Man was so close to you. Your breath was against where you guessed his mouth was, and you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. You thrusted the suit into his hands, sucking in your breath at the contact. Without his suit, he was without gloves. Your bare fingers were brushing against his, and something delicate went through you that you couldn’t explain.

You turned away as quick as it happened. You knew it was wrong. Spider-Man had a soulmate, and you couldn’t get swept up in silly romances when you had your own to worry about. Your suddenly retraction from him made his insides curl with disappointment, with desire. He craved your touch more than ever now, but he refused to give into you.

You made him feel stupidly out of control, furiously mad with romantic thoughts. Spider-Man couldn’t help but resist the aching in his fingers as they moved towards you. But the battle he was having within himself was beginning to end, and he was losing. He was losing because love made him feel like he knew everything about nothing, and nothing about everything.

“H-Hey, I got a really important thing to do tonight,” Spider-Man said nervously. You nodded, turning your back to him as he changed back into his suit. When he touched your shoulder, you turned back to see him looking as lovely as ever in the suit. “Can you help me tonight?”

“What do you mean?” You wondered.

“I’m usually, you know, after a guy in the chair,” he chuckled. His voice was sporadic and nervous, shaky and embarrassed. You thought it was adorable.

“Oh, yeah? And how can I help with that?”

“I think I’d much rather prefer a girl in the chair.”

You smiled up at him, biting your lip as you looked at your laptop.

“Okay, Spider-Man. What’s the plan?”

You listened patiently as Spider-Man explained to you his ordeal. You watched him talk, heard the soothing melody of his voice. He was typing on your computer now, helping you connect to the coms in his ear. Your mind wandered away for a few seconds.

You wondered what your soulmate was doing at the hour. You wondered if he was looking for you as thoroughly as you were looking for him. You were convinced he was; love was stupidly difficult to fight. You were convinced that he was looking for his perfect girl, for the woman he would call his for the rest of his life. You were convinced because you knew admitting you had no soulmate at all was the worst thing you could think of.

The universe would not have given you such a drive if it meant you were waiting for no one. The universe would not have made you what you are if it meant you were looking for a ghost.

Your eyes wandered over to your board, and you recited the areas from Tuesday to Thursday in your head again, trying to find where you went wrong. The whole situation was making you feel so inferior, so stupid, but you figured that’s just what love did to people like you. Your eyes scanned over the lists, your eyes adjusted to Tuesday again.

You were almost positive that Tuesday was the day that you had felt that ignition inside of you. You were almost sure that Tuesday was it. Your gut instinct was clawing at that day, urging your fingers to brush over all the crossed out locations.

peppermint mocha across the street

met spider-boy

milk and cookies at the corner store

spare key from receptionist in lobby

mail from lobby

thai noodles from that place on 54th

mashable magazine from that stand on melrose

What were you missing? What were you not seeing? What was slipping right over your head?

Before you could contemplate your questions, Spider-Man was giving you a salute as he started for your window.

“Ready?” He asked you nervously. You rested your head in your hands, nodding.

“Yeah, superhero. You can count on me.”

Before you could say another word, he bent his head down and kissed your forehead through the mask. You sighed at the feeling, your lashes fluttering shut at the gentleness. When you opened your eyes, he was gone.

You adjusted your glasses, brushed a hand over your flushed cheeks, and let your fingers hover over your cell phone for Spider-Man’s cue.

part 5

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timesababy · 3 years

Text

I feel like I believe myself to be this inferior being. Deep down inside I know I'm different and I feel inferior. Like I dont fit in. Like maybe i never will. Like nobody could ever understand me or like me.

Alone. I am a horrible person. I am pathetic. I don't deserve to be loved, appreciated, understood... but it's all I've ever wanted really. Happiness. A chance to go to heaven. If god is real he fucking hates me. I literally ripped up his stupid fucking book once.

"I have faith in you, kiddo."

"Yeah I can see that, its true, you do work hard!"

"Maybe you should take a break? You've been there for hours."

"From now on you eat, sleep, breathe, and and drink polynomials."

"But your empathy is part of what makes you YOU! Your emotional experience is unique to YOU!"

"Don't feel bad for being human"

"But... you were in the right. You didn't do anything wrong. I would've done the same."

"You aren't as bad as you think you are. Look at me. You're a good boy. I know that. You're just a bit misunderstood."

"Hey. Just breathe, alright? Theres nobody there. You're safe. Trust me."

"Haha did you just flinch? Do you get abused or some shit? Pussy."

"You're so fucking fat."

"Why aren't you eating?"

"If you eat all that, you have to exercise later."

"YOU BETTER NOT BE FUCKING CUTTING IN THERE"

"Crying doesnt fix anything"

"Stop saying sorry"

"STUPID FUCKING CUNT HOLY SHIT JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME GODDAMNIT I HATE YOU"

"I know what you're trying to do."

"What's wrong with being a woman?"

"Why do I have to fucking feed you?"

"You need to grow the fuck up"

"I dont know what you're trying to do there but you're not a little kid anymore."

"Did you gain weight or something? Your legs look fatter now."

"Stop clicking your pen."

"Satanic d*ke" "fucking faggot" "what are you, a tranny?" "Look guys, its angry" "weirdo he-she" "shemale" "I'm going to wait for him to come out so I can have a word with him"

"I'm not giving them back. Either you come with me or you dont get your glasses back."

"GET OFF HIM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"We're so sorry about his behaviour."

"You cant leave your sketchbook on the table and except people NOT to open it up"

"A few concerned teachers have reported seeing what appears to be self harm scars on your forearms"

"We found a few disturbing passages of writing in your sketchbook."

"I'm sorry, okay?"

Fuck, it just doesnt cut it

I'm just so insanely damaged. I feel like it's an inherent part of me, that I'm fucking broken. You broke me. Now what? You break your toy but it's okay. I was your least favourite one anyway. You move on to another. Do you have any idea how hard it is to live broken? To inhale and exhale shards of glass? To be always misunderstood, always hated, never appreciated, always judged, never loved, always berated, never consoled. From birth.

My mistreatment at the hands of adults, my feeling of abnormality, of alienation within society, its led me to yearn for what I never properly had. A good fucking upbringing. To be cared about. For my emotions to be cared about. To be LISTENED to when I talked.

It's too late now. What I want I can never fucking have. That's how you broke me. You took that away from me.

Yknow, I'm a sad, pathetic little human being. Just another worthless faggot. Cant believe I ever let anyone hype me up, telling me that I could do it, that one day I'll light the match.

Because that's the kinda person i am. I'm meant for lighting the fcuking match it's my destiny.

Either it was that or suicide.

[ ] But it almost feels worse when I do badly... because how tf will I light the match when this is my math grade? All I want is peace and love and shit like that yes I am softboy uwuw whatever I am. I'm basically a little baby

[ ] And i do need to be taken care.of STILL

[ ] I'm tired of being used and lied to and broken and replaced.

They think highly of me... all of a sudden. It's like people are finally realizing hey, maybe I shouldn't have stomped all over this kid... damn it's too late, I bet if I'm a bit nicer he'll forgive us.

This is suspicious behaviour on part of my parents and

.... I dont know, I just dont view authority figures and adults to be the ones to believe in me. That's never fukcing happened before.

Its almost like in a sappy coming of age movie.

I dont care If you had it harder my trauma is valid too because it hurt me badly.

It left long lasting effects and behavioural issues, I've made bad decisions and put myself in danger because of it.

I'm sitll healing. It's been forever.

I wonder how sorry they are for how they treated me. Rejected me. Made me feel like I was alone and nobody loved me.

McDonalds car.

I can go on and on.

I wonder how sorry my dad is for going off at me like that. I hope it plauges him while he tries to sleep. I hope he cant stop feeling guilty. I'm in pain.

It's weird cos I'm not used to it but.its good. I cried at that because it.meant someone could see the sparks in my eyes when I cried over the bird. It's all I want.

It proabbly doesnt plauge him. He stands by everything he said. He hates me.

I just wish i couldve been raised knowing what love meant.

I feel like i still havent forgiven myself for what i did even though everyone else did.

They arent scared of me. They dont dislike me. In fact, they love hanging out with me.

I dont think i scarred them.

But.

Theres always the possibility. Theres always the possibility that it's being hidden.

And I will never forgive myself.

I like to think that other people would be understanding. But I have to take this to the grave. Everyone would hate me if they knew. Of course they wouldnt understand the many factors that could cause a child to try that.

I'm crying again. All I ever needed was a caring guardian who would appreciate me and love me and listen to me and help me and NEVER reject me and allow me to Express myself and my emotions and instead I got years of repression. Just a tomboy.

Ntohing more. Anything more and we hate you.

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lovemesomesurveys · 7 years

Text

If you could drink only 2 things for the rest of your life, what would it be? Coffee and water.

Would you date someone taller than you? Well, yes. Just about everyone is taller than me for one thing.

Have you met anyone that has been a major influence on you this year? No.

Ever kissed someone who smokes? No.

Have you ever liked someone a lot older than you? Not including celebrities, the oldest person I’ve liked is only two years older than me.

Have any interesting conversations lately? Not really.

If your friends warn you about someone you like, do you listen? I would hear what they had to say, yes.

Who did you last pinky promise with? I have no idea when the last time I pinky promised was.

What do you do when you’re having a bad day? Go about my day as usual and do what I always do, which are things like Tumblr, surveys, rest, watch TV, listen to music, read, and color.

Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? No. I get irritable pretty easily.

Do you want your tongue or belly button pierced? No.

Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Cigarettes, yes. I can’t stand it.

Is there someone you care about right now? Uh, yeah. I care about my family. I love them more than anything.

If you could see one person right now, who would it be? I don’t really want to see anyone right now.

Do you say “I love you” when you don’t mean it? No. I don’t just throw those words around, if I say it, I mean it.

Do you smoke? No.

Have you ever been to a football game? Yes, actually.

How old is the computer you’re on? Like eight years old. It’s a MacBook. Wow, that’s crazy I didn’t realize just how old it is. In tech world, that’s ancient.

When you looked in the mirror today, what was your first thought? Ew.

Last furry thing you touched? My giraffe print body pillow.

Have you ever faked sick? I’ve never had to fake sick. I feel that way enough for real.

What is your blood-type? I actually don’t know. I’ve had blood work done so often throughout my life, I’ve had surgeries, and I’ve had a few transfusions. You’d think I would know by now.

The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? A Chick-Fil-A sauce. I always get extra sauces when I go there, so that I have it at home to use. Apart from chicken strips, it goes well with eggs, sausage, and hash browns as well.

Do you like clowns? No.

Has anyone ever under-estimated your intelligence? Probably.

Can you take a bra off with one hand? I think so.

Do you have big dreams for your life? No. I know how sad that sounds, but it’s true.

Are you donating your organs? I don’t know.

When was the last time you talked to you mom? This afternoon before she went to work.

What did you do yesterday? The same stuff I always do that I already listed.

What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret.

Do you sleep on your side, stomach or back? I sleep on my side.

What is one show that is canceled that you wish was still on? I wish True Blood was still on. Also, The Vampire Diaries is on its final season, so that’s sad.

Ever met any online friends in person? Nope.

Do you know how to sew? No.

Does your room need cleaning? I need to straighten up a bit. I need to hang up my jackets, put away some clothes, and vacuum.

Do you like pumpkin pie? Nooo. Blech.

Do you own your own computer? Yes.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? Yes.

How do you get to sleep? I listen to ASMR videos.

What happened at the last party you went to? I hung out with some friends I hadn’t seen in awhile, caught up, had lots of laughs, played a game, and just chilled.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No.

What’s your hair like at this present moment? It’s in a messy bun.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? Hmm...

Are you an untidy person? I wouldn’t say that.

Have you ever been a fan of ‘N Sync? Yesss.

Do you watch a lot of television? It’s most only as background noise, but I tune in now and then. I also have shows that I do watch and keep up with.

Do you think you’re fat sometimes? No.

Do you like to flex your muscles? What muscles?

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? Yeahhh.

Favorite kind of cake: Funfetti, red velvet, white cake, and strawberry. Apart from red velvet that has cream cheese frosting, I love buttercream frosting on my cake. I don’t like whipped.

Name something you are doing tomorrow? Same ol’, same ol’.

Where are you going to be at 4 PM tomorrow? At home.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up? Nope.

Do you think you would be a good parent? I would hope so. I don’t know if I want kids, though.

Are you tanned? No.

Did you get any compliments today? Nope. I’ve been home all day and I look like a mess.

Do you get jealous easily? More envious than jealous.

What were you doing at 3 AM this morning? I was asleep.

Are you any good at math? Nopeeee.

What’s your sign? Leo.

What is your favorite color? Yellow, teal, mint, and pastels.

Last time you were sick? I always feel unwell in some way. That’s chronic illness for you. I haven’t had a cold or anything like that in like two years, though.

Did you have a good day or a bad day? Just a typical, average day. If you haven’t noticed, my life isn’t very exciting. It’s very routine and predictable.

Do you eat healthy? Haha.

Have you ever been told that you need an attitude adjustment? Yes.

What’s something that you wish your pet could do? I don’t have a pet anymore... :(

Can you tango? No.

Do you know anyone that has/had cancer? Yes.

Have you ever read somebody else’s diary? No. Unless it was a public journal entry on a blog.

Have you ever been called a hick? No.

Are your parents going to buy you a car? No. I don’t even drive.

Have you ever rode around in the bed of a pick up truck? Yes.

Do you enjoy going to school? I liked it overall.

Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope.

Do/did you have any family in your school? I attended middle school and freshman year with one of my cousins, and in college I went to community college with one of my other cousins.

Were you a big jump roper back in the day? I didn’t jump rope at all.

Have you ever been in your kitchen naked? No. I don’t walk around naked. I don’t live alone for one thing, and for two I don’t feel comfortable naked. I put clothes on when I step out of the shower.

This time last year, what was your relationship status? Single as always.

When was the last time you went to the mall? Earlier this month.

Do you like the smell of coconuts? Yes. Just not the taste.

How many of the Harry Potter books have you read? None. I’ve seen all the movies.

When was the last time you checked your Facebook? Yesterday, I think.

Look out your window. How many people do you see? Zero. It’s took dark right now, but even still all I’d see is a fence.

Where was the last place you bought a clothing item? JCP.

Are you the youngest person living in your house? Nope. I’m the third oldest.

Did you reject or accept your last friend request? I think rejected because it was someone I didn’t know.

Are you wearing any socks? Yes.

Can you play pool? No.

Do you think that you are a good singer? Nope, I know I’m not. It doesn’t stop me from singing along to songs even belting out now and then. haha.

Are you sure of your sexuality? Yes.

Do you love your parents? Yes. My family is everything to me.

Do you think that you are smart? Meh. I’m probably more average.

Are you pretending to be someone that you’re not? I used to pretend I was more okay than I was or that I knew what I was doing. I was pretty good at it until this past year or two when I started to slip and couldn’t hide it well anymore. I still downplay a lot and keep to myself, but those close to me know I’m struggling.. just maybe not to the full extent. It’s also obvious I have no idea what I’m doing.

Do you like to read? I love to read.

How often do you talk on the phone? Not often at all. I don’t like talking on the phone.

Are you a local celebrity? Ha, no. I was on the news and in the newspaper when my accident happened, and there was a little fundraiser put together in my name, but that was twenty-six years ago. No one remembers any of that or knows who I am.

Do you like your English class? I’m no longer in school, I graduated two years ago.

What was the last compliment that you got? My grandma’s friend commented on a photo my aunt posted of me on Facebook, and said I’m “beautiful.”

Do you eat candy daily? No, but I have something sweet daily.

Have you ever moved to a different home? Yes.

Have you ever switched schools? Just when transitioning from preschool to the kindergarten through eighth school I attended, from there to high school, from high school to community college, and from community college to UC.

What is your name? Stephanie.

Have you ever been to camp? Yes. I went to science camp in 6th grade, and to a Girl Scout camp.

Do you get nervous with public speaking? Extremely. It never got easier, no matter how many times I had to do it. They claimed it would help, but nope.

Do you know anyone with a really weird name? To some it might be weird, but I’m used to it because he’s my cousin and we grew up together so I’ve heard it for most of my life.

Do you fight with your parents all the time? No.

Are you in pain right now? My pain meds are doing their job, thankfully.

Are you wearing a sports shirt? Nope.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? Not really.

Do you wear shoes in your house or take ‘em off? I take them off.

Does anyone call you babe or baby? Nope.

Who is your last text from? My brother.

What languages can you count to ten or higher in? English and Spanish.

How old were you when you got your drivers’ license (if you have it)? I haven’t gotten mine.

Have you ever broken a bone? Yes.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yes.

Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? Nope.

Do you drink lots of booze? No. I don’t drink anymore. It’s been almost four years.

Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone? Yes.

Have you read The Lovely Bones? Are you excited for the movie? I have. The movie was okay.

Do you try to eat healthy or do you just eat whatever you like whenever you like? I eat what I like.

What memory are you most afraid of losing? Memories of loved ones, and other good memories.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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achrisstevenson · 5 years

Text

Reviewers—Our Lifeblood.

After having sent out and received (cold) over 1,370 personalized review requests, I think I’m qualified to depart a little information on the topic of Book Review Requests. I’ll start the salvo off with a personal letter from a reviewer who happened to discuss some problem areas wherein authors were disrespectful and/or intimidating. I have her permission to post this material. Below her letter is my reaction and thoughts.

Hi!

So nice to hear from you again! I read the blurb at Amazon, and this one sounds much more to my liking. Go ahead and send the MOBI whenever you like. My reading schedule is pretty busy until the 15th, but I'll see what I can do.

Surprisingly, about reviewing, it can be trickier than you think! Previous to 2019, I had been a casual reviewer. Voracious reader but only reviewed books now and again if I felt strongly about them (one way or the other). My new year's resolution this year was to read 200 books and review each one of them. After some bad reverses at work, reviewing became a bit of an obsession. I have started to question my sanity about reading so many books, but I do love to read as it provides refuge.

What makes it tricky is that sometimes authors can do bad things to reviewers, either publically or privately. If I give what an author perceives as a bad review, I often get long diatribes about why I was wrong. A few authors have even commented (or had friends comment) on my reviews at Goodreads, saying that I misunderstood something or other; my favorite was when an author stated I should have inferred X about the book from its blurb (if you want me to know something... tell me... don't expect me to have to figure out your meaning if you're not clear). I don't like the private notes, but the public calling outs are uncalled for. In two days in mid July, I was targeted by two different authors, one publically and one privately. The private one was a "publisher" asking me to take down a review at my site because they hadn't given me permission to post it! Seriously! He used all sorts of legalistic language and was mildly threatening. The other author took my public review on Goodreads, made a screenshot that included my name, and posted it on her blog (which she broadcasts all over her social media channels), where she shredded my review and me. Over the course of a week or so, she continued to make defamatory remarks. I continue to get harassing emails from her friends; I received another just today. Sigh.

All this over book reviewing!

I joined a FB group for book bloggers just share my tales of woe and get feedback, and it was amazing how many came back with similar stories. Some have actually gone so far to never accept private requests for reviews because they don't want the potential to be harassed by an author who knows their email address.

How sad that it has come to that. I think that's why your lovely little line resonated with me. Balm for my wounded reviewer soul!

Regards,

Jamie

(My Response) Hi, Jamie.

Soulful words indeed. I've have seen instances of a total lack of respect for the reviewers, comments and emails comprised of hate speech, claims of stupidity and demands. I've been at this for the last 15 years straight (29 total), and I've mellowed with just about all literary pursuits. Everyone has to understand that this is all a collaborative effort and there are HUMAN beings with lives on the other end of these emails, especially reviewers. In my view, reviewers perform an impossible task by reading books from cover to cover and then writing about them and then linking them to all their social media sites. FOR FREE. For the enjoyment of it. I could Never do such a thing! The workload would topple me, frustrate me, hurt my feelings and take up enormous amounts of time. And even yet, reviewer's mission statement are filled with enthusiasm and gratitude for the opportunity of reading someone else's book. They are honored. Astonishing.

I've written articles on the proper way to query for reviews--this involved all aspects. I have a powerful writer website, and I'm about to really nail this subject again. I've enlightened every one of my publisher's authors (with little comments) to abide by these tasks and pass them on. Read the policies through and through. Then read the bios and see who this person is and if you can click with anything of interest with them. Yes, it's time consuming. But look at the time they take with you. And any author who sends a cold copy of a book to a reviewer should be automatically scratched. It's discourteous. If they want one off the bat, they ask for it.

Sorry, but this advanced age publishing glut has hobbled the entire industry. Supply has eclipsed demand. Reviewers are overworked to the breaking point. How can they sift through trash without finding the true gems? I’m not talking about the majority of indies who are really setting the industry afire with true talent. I also believe that small and large press editors should redouble their efforts and weed out those mistakes in format, grammar, structure and all else

Nice conversing with you. You have confirmed my feelings. I promise to blast a message about this subject. I want you to know that you are valued as a pro reader and a person, and that you are real to me.

Kindly,

Chris

Let’s lay down some simple ground rules: read their bios and policy/guidelines. You’ll know exactly what to expect from every individual human reviewer. You can even read some of their reviews to check out their style and voice. You can tell a lot about a person from their background; job occupation, loves, hates, hobbies and wishes—and just look at all the baby, children and animal photos and references! You’re digging. This brings you close. It’s intimate, and it should be. Granted that most of your request package will be a cut and paste, but it is subject to change with every reviewer, and none of them are specifically the same. Give them, honor them with the first paragraph of your opening letter. You don’t have to pander. Politely disagree with them on a point or topic if you feel the need. Just communicate in real time.

Some reviewers will ask for a cover photo, a certain subject line heading, the best way to contact them; form or email. Some want paperbacks only, with many specifying their e-copy formats. Address them by name—if it isn’t listed go find it in their social media contacts. Don’t judge them by the number of their blog followers—this is a level playing field.

Find out what their policy is for DNF (did not finish) or low 1 and 2-star rankings. Many will give you the option of not publishing a very low rank. If you don’t want that low score, ask to opt out of the review. (This just happened to me with a paid review and I had no option to opt out. It shredded me. More about paid reviews later, or what they disguise as “marketing and social media expenses.”)

Target their genre. What’s their top pick? What are their secondary choices? What are their marginal genres? If you have a YA fantasy with a lot of violence and death in it, the reviewer might say they love YA fantasy, but say they can’t stomach horror in any fashion. That leaves you out, if that’s what you have. Don’t try to get by as an exception unless they ask you to explain those types of contents. If you have trigger warnings, spell them out up front. (I’ve made some mistakes with this).

If you don’t have a new release, don’t tell them you do. Generally, a new release can be less than a year old, but more commonly, three monts. If you are weeks within a release, state that up front and politely ask for an ASAP review. I’m over three months old with my release but I’m not asking for a quick review. I’ll take my place in line with the rest of them. In my mind, the reviewer is the pilot/captain—I’m the passenger with seat belt on and the tray in the upright. I’m not running this show. The reviewer is not your employee. They are an advocate for your product—not theirs—yours.

As an aside, I’ll pay for a cup of coffee as a donation, but I’m refusing to pay for any low-cost reviews. You can find out if they list services other than free reviews that might cost you, but those are generally legitimate services that involve extensive social media promotion campaigns. Just feel comfortable about what you’re getting into.

I could go on forever about this topic and I’ve left so much out that it will require another long blog post. For now, I’ll show you my request package. It’s a disorganized mess, but it’s working like a charm. Only because it covers just about everything they ask for. BUT remember your opening hello letter at the top.

I’ll red-shift outta her. Thanks for reading—Christy J. Breedlove and Chris H. Stevenson.

ETA: I doff my fedora to all the reviewers I’ve had contact with. So many of you are now my friends and subscriber buddies. You are the treasures in our industry.

(THIS IS YOUR HAPPY TO MEET YOU PARAGRAH)

I know you must be swamped, and I’d like to just take the time to thank you for your unselfish service and dedication to us writers. The TBR piles are higher than K-2 out there. I don’t know if you are up for a review right at this time, but I thought I’d ask first. I abide by and honor your review policy. (A review on Amazon would be fabulous, but not a requirement).

Well, what makes this tome stand out? I think my book Screamcatcher: Web World is unique in that I have never seen a dream catcher used as a prop or device in the plot or theme of a book on the Internet. I had to create the inside reality of a web world. My book has shades of Indian lore in it, and I think the characters are diverse and well-drawn. It has a slow-burn sweet romance. I see this as a mash-up between Jumanji and The Hunger Games. I've included the cover blurb in this email for your perusal. For a deeper probe, you can click on Christy's Amazon page. I hope you like this idea.

Most Kindly Yours,

Christy Breedlove (pen name)

AMAZON SCREAM PAGE: https://www.amazon.com/Screamcatcher-World-Christy-J-Breedlove-ebook/dp/B07QDK5M75/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Screamcatcher+Web+World&qid=1555016089&s=books&sr=1-1-spell

Amazon.com: Screamcatcher: Web World eBook: Christy J. Breedlove: Kindle Store

Screamcatcher: Web World - Kindle edition by Christy J. Breedlove. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Screamcatcher: Web World.

www.amazon.com

The pub date was officially 4-23-2019, so it’s a recent book. You can get to it whenever you please—I have no priorities or demands. The publisher is Melange Books, Fire & Ice. Age range: Upper YA 15—19. Pages: 218, Words: 67,000. Formats: PDF, Kindle/Mobi, E-Pub.

Summary:

When seventeen-year-old Jory Pike cannot shake the hellish nightmares of her parent’s deaths, she turns to an old family heirloom, a dream catcher. Even though she’s half blood Chippewa, Jory thinks old Native American lore is so yesterday, but she’s willing to give it a try. However, the dream catcher has had its fill of nightmares from an ancient and violent past. After a sleepover party, and during one of Jory’s most horrific dream episodes, the dream catcher implodes, sucking Jory and her three friends into its own world of trapped nightmares. They’re in an alternate universe—locked inside of an insane web world filled with murders, beasts and thieves. How can they find the center of the web where all good things are allowed to pass? Where is the light of salvation? Are they in hell?

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