#its always like. jokes and memes. no one can take the character seriously
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it is really crazy to me how ignored linda is in fanworks when i personally think shes great. and u cant even blame it on the lack of information either bc we know maybe 2 more things abt rosemary than linda. also insane to me how ppl are devoted to jack/rose like god himself made it but don't even talk abt how sad felix and linda are. like. Make felix gay or whatever if you want this isnt really about that (altho i do think hes often simply made gay bc ppl dont wanna care abt women + see a struggling married couple in the 70s for reasons completely outside of sexuality with no children and assume everyone involved is gay. Anyway), but like can we stop pretending he didnt care abt his wife .......... yeah sure its funny to make jokes abt him being into men or being bicurious and shit but theres a lot of canonical evidence to support them loving each other very much, and tbh i find their broken little fucked up marriage interesting. he wrote a SONG about her man it's just as agonizing as learning rosemary wrote songs about her husband for showstoppers.
idk maybe im crazy but i simply think its good character writing that gets overshadowed for the sake of lgbt headcanons when, like, their marriage is failing because of felix's addiction. the walten files is largely a story about addiction and how explosive and damaging it can be to addicts and the people around them.
#not to mention like...a lot of story elements get completely glazed over by the community at large#bc of how badly mischaracterized felix is within the fanbase LOL#straight up ive never seen anyone talk abt anything interesting w felix#its always like. jokes and memes. no one can take the character seriously#its just odd to me as a person who has suffered the effects of addiction via myself and others#like hmmm. topic hard so you dont wanna talk about it? you just wanna make everyone gay instead? ok.#youre boring.#jonah.txt
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me: i guess it's just the more i think about it, the humor in/around bg3 starts to feel like larian cares more about pleasing people, even if it breaks immersion or flattens/flanderizes characters, than making a game that's fun and funny because of a consistent internal logic and sense of genre and setting.
the tulpa of tom wambsgans i keep in the attic: people do like funny games.
me: but what does it mean for a game as an interactive medium to be funny? like, people find it funny if a game is broken or janky, but a game can also be funny because the mechanics are working and they're designed in a funny way. like, the disco elysium skills are effectively their own cast of characters as a part of the mechanics, and intentionally made into a huge element of the game's humor. watching harry fumble is a lot funnier when the peanut gallery always has something to say about it. or even, i dunno, the very obsidian bit of dialogue choices going 'yes,' 'no,' '[lie] yes,' '[lie] no.' that's humor that relies on the nature of dialogue trees.
tulpa wambsgans, who i've forced to play disco elysium: right. there's plenty of times when you thought the mechanics of bg3 led to funny situations, though.
me: that's not exactly what i'm trying to get at. or it's not the biggest part of it. like, i feel like i've brought this up one too many times already, but the 'hot githyanki girlfriend' dialogue choice you get when romancing lae'zel - it's 'funny,' right? it's supposed to be funny.
tulpa wambsgans: i mean, it is, funny. isn't it?
me: i mean, not to me. i think it's fucking cringe. but it's like, why is that cringe to me, and not disco elysium's 'i want to have fuck with you?' on the surface, it seems like kind of similar humor, like it's your character saying stupid shit. but in disco elysium, the joke is on you-as-harry, because that became your dialogue option after you failed. and the... i'd argue central conceit of disco elysium, maybe, is that harry as an amnesiac wreck with a bunch of skills talking to him in his head is the only way to in-world make sense of a guy who acts like a video game character. and the joke is that you're a video game character selecting dialogue options, but if you were a real person, like harry's supposed to be, you'd seem like a fucking weirdo, and people in the game treat you like a fucking weirdo.
tulpa wambsgans: so what's the problem with baldur's gate 3?
me: i guess it feels like the joke is on the game for being a game that wants to be taken seriously? on the characters within it, for being characters that can only take the game seriously? i don't know if that makes sense. when you incorporate in memes like the god's favorite princess stuff or whatever it was, that's for the player, like almost as a reward for making that joke about the game outside of the game. but it's also, i mean, it's a huge... oversimplification of everything shadowheart's got going on, right? like, shar is or was explicitly abusing her.
tulpa wambsgans: it's a joke, though.
me: right, but what kind of relationship does that create, between the player and the studio, and the player and the game, if the player is rewarded for these kinds of jokes by having them funneled back into the game as part of its reality? the game of fandom telephone where canon events and characters get simplified and miscommunicated over and over, but this time the studio, the makers of canon, are in on it. i mean, it doesn't need to be about jokes, i think that just bothers me more because people tend to have such a positive reaction to jokes. like, lae'zel's dismiss to camp dialogue being changed as well as minthara's recruitment no longer conflicting with halsin's is i would argue part of the same problem.
tulpa wambsgans: ....does any of this really matter?
me: tulpa tom wambsgans you know i only come up into the attic to talk to you about shit that doesn't matter
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Another thing that upsets me about usopp haters! (im sorry, is just those people drive me nuts and for my mental health ill never interact with them because its not worth it, so I prefer to interact with you and other fans so we can all be "yeah those people are crazy, Usopp is great 🥂 we have good taste" together. Ehem I'm missing the point)
What upsets me is when they act like Usopp didn't have any moments in pre-ts, and they act like his only badass moments are shooting the world goverment flag (not even then, because they're always like "actually that was Sogeking" 😤 jokes over man, you are being obtuse on purpose) and that moment in Dressrosa, now I can't speak for post-ts because 😶 I'm still not caught up (stuck in post war, I'll keep going eventually), but my boy has many moments in pre ts. My favorite one being his fight against Perona, and one of the reasons its my favorite is because it comes very soon after Usopp has been feeling useless and weak (ok soon after for us, in universe it seems that Oda likes to leave certain characterizations in the arc that they appear and never mention them again...)
The anime quite literally spells it out for you that Usopp is incredibly important, and actually the reason why they didnt just all die in Thriller Bark, and there's STILL people out there saying Usopp is the most useless member *eating the drywall in my home*
Sorry I needed to get that off my chest.
If nobody got me, I know you Usopp fans got me 😔
Always fun to speak with Usopp fans on here! There’s a great community and a lot of great conversations to be had.
I really think a large part of this kind of fan reaction to Usopp is twofold. I also think a lot of these points are also applicable to Nami tbh. Firstly, I think that Usopp’s particular skills are undervalued by a lot of fans. He’s a long range fighter, not a close range one, and a lot of fans simply aren’t interested in that kind of battle because it’s not super flashy in the same way. His strengths also usually aren’t catered to in universe. For one reason or another he doesn’t get the chance to park himself somewhere and really get to do his job as sniper, and maybe if he did it would be a different story? I’m not sure though. His other skills (engineering, art, etc) also aren’t the coolest or flashiest but are necessary for the crew to function and don’t get a lot of hype in the same way either. In the same vein, I think a lot of people forget he’s forced up against literal monsters most of the time and in battles that aren’t his forte fighting wise, so in comparison he doesn’t get to shine. However he’s canonically extremely talented at basically everything he does.
Secondly, I think a lot of what he adds to the story and the crew is emotionally and character driven, and people who come to One Piece for the fights aren’t necessarily going to be drawn to that kind of contribution to the plot. If you’re interested in more low key character drama/development you may be compelled to pay attention to him in the story. But I think a good amount of people aren’t as interested in that element of the story and so don’t really pay attention.
There’s also the matter of the way some of his accomplishments are framed in universe tbh. Usopp is considered by a lot of fans to be kind of a meme character and so is treated like that accordingly. This includes all the Sogeking jokes and other things that mean that he isn’t really taken seriously by a lot of people unfortunately. But I think if anyone takes a closer look beyond the surface they’ll be able to see a really interesting character underneath! Especially pre time skip like you mentioned
I hope you enjoy your journey as you go further into the story! There’s a lot but it’s a great time and a lot of fun moments upcoming.
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Seluvis for character ask! >:D
(From this ( x ) ask meme)
First impression: Wow, this guy is a TOTAL creep! This specific snobby, arrogant aura also makes him even MORE British than his accent! xD Also his face data looks like that one guy who """accidentally""" touches women in weird places in the crowded bus :/ You know, THAT one guy. He has really good voice acting though, and his pretentious, arrogant manner of talking is cute.... oh no 😳
Impression now: I still think he has the sexiest voice acting in the entire game, I am slightly less obsessed with him by now but if given the reason, I can write essays simply analyzing his character and making suggestions about his personality, backstory and what-if scenarios with other characters! He is just so goddamn fun to rotate in my mind. (And yeahhh well, I really really really love wizard aesthetic. Sorry guys, Willem will always be more thicc than Gehrman could EVER.)
Favorite moment: As great as his descent into mania was, I simply love the transition from being cold, condescending and mean with us to getting warmer with us because he "hadn't had an apprentice for a while"... It becomes painfully obvious that he admires himself so much because no one else ever would, and I am just such a sucker for mean character showing that secret gentle side. Like.. He needs approval and attention just like every other human being, this is a sweet moment x)
Idea for a story: I actually didn't think of scenarios all that much. However, I did have a guilty daydreaming period about an OC that was his apprentice, but she was showing a lot more creativity, intellect and talent than he'd teach her, and it started to seriously wound his ego. So he'd like, start to belittle her ideas and discoveries, try to gaslight her into thinking her inventions were dumb and he knew better, and in the end just... send her to get him some stuff that doesn't exist (as means to never see her again). I don't know enough about the lore to tell whether she is out there still or no, and yes, awful pettiness, I know. It is less a story and more deep dive into his insecurity and narcissism by using an abstract other person for a display.
Unpopular opinion: As much as I like to joke about him being sexist, in the end, I don't REALLY think that. He makes male puppets too, you know. xD Basically, he will be a creep to ANYONE, regardless of gender. Bi/Pan representation we deserve ;-; xDDDD :')
Favorite relationship: Him and Sellen really deserve each other tbh. I do not mean it like in a ship way; Seluvis is uhhh...... well, a simp in such a way that he doesn't deserve a chance, to say the least, and Sellen seems to be completely disinterested in relationship period because studying cosmos just takes her ENTIRE focus. But I mean like, a mix of rivalry (he is with the Carians and she is with the primevial current) and actually helping each other with crimes x) They share more in common than meets the eye! And both have foolish plans going against Ranni of all people, like the overly-confident idiots that they are ;-;
Favorite headcanon: He feels exact proximity with the puppets as what he says! Starlight Shards that "control fate of humans" are used to make his potion, so naturally, drinking his potion binds the person's fate with him (or with someone else, depends on what he's doing). It is, well... incredibly intimate experience on its own, but he perceives it much deeper than just creating servants. He is desperate for human bonds, but his snarky narcissistic personality makes him not be liked by anyone with their free will unaffected. :(
#elden ring#preceptor seluvis#thanks for the ask!#he is quite a something lol#this voice acting should be illegal this is too powerful#they keep finding the best VAs#he is so creepy and weird that's how we love him xd#elden ring spoiled us with characters that fucking SUCK and aren't 'morally grey' which was a gigachad move from the devs#sometimes i just want to relax and not think of shades of grey#and yes him and sellen are worsties </3#he is just such a biiiiitch lol xdddd#and his voice lines#'my wits evaporate in your mere presence' jfdhshdf xDDD
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MWII Kinnies!!
I think this is the most accurate I could do, WITH MY HEADCANONS/view of characters lol- (THIS IS SATIRE BTW-)
If you kin :
Phillip Graves, you're probably thinking you're sexy as fuck and probably have a superiority – inferiority complex (or main character syndrome depends tbf) also you def give "jerk" vibes at first sight & you most likely had some trust issue backstory that makes you unsure whenever to open up or not. BUT DAMN like stop being sassy please I need a break from the drama you're creating...
John MacTavish, you laugh at your own jokes, can be serious but mostly silly, you probably like sending memes to annoy your friend, you also say "fuck you" as a joke, and you most likely use laughter to deal with your troubles. Can be rude as fuck if you want to but you prefer to be chill.
Simon Riley, bro- chill ?? you're most likely always acting serious/cold even to your friends, loved ones. You can def be funny but you don't like opening your humor up to people, you probably use your past experiences to compare to people's troubles. You def roast people who insult your friends but other than that you also don't give a single fuck
Alejandro Vargas, you're funny, def the brotherly figure in your group, you're kinda like the guy that everyone appreciates to hang around (and you also have a superiority – inferiority complex depending on who you hang out with.) Literally you'd do anything to help a friend in trouble and you also plan a lot of murders on a daily basis with your crazy friend.
Rodolfo Parra, bro you're nice as fuck but also rude as fuck, like with your friends it's "lmaoo fr" then with strangers it's "who tf you talkin to ?". You're done with your friend's bs but you still like them either way because they're cool/fun to talk to, at first you kinda had a hard time opening up but it happened and you're now kinda extrovert
Kyle Garrick, you're really nice and chill, you love drama on twitter, dicsord, any app, you probably draw a lot/listen to music. You're funny to talk to and people usually go to you for comfort, def staying in your groupchats to get blackmail info but you don't go on the internet too much, you prefer to go outside to enjoy fresh air (not a lol player congrats!!)
John Price, you're the parental figure of your friend group, you probably have good grades and a good relationship with everyone you know, you can come off as rude but also really funny, you read a lot and you mostly stay in your corner though you don't hesitate to speak up, very confident and protects your friends every time. (Probably lost something/someone important so you might have trust issues-)
this is kinda based on my headcanons and AGAIN its a satire post so you don't have to take this seriously lmao
#call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#kinnie#phillip graves#johnny soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#alejandro vargas#rodolfo parra#kyle gaz garrick#john price
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Ngl tga has always had some sorta really fuckin bizarre bias to "kids' games" like Mario and Sonic because both BotW and Metroid Dread are more realistically looking and "adult" than say Pokémon or D.K. and they're the only real ones that got nominated for something that wasn't the family's game category or something low-key, meanwhile (besides last year's goty thankfully) most of the games that get awards are ones that focus on realism and gritty boring story telling. But for Sonic's case especially, who's reputation has been tarnished for years by some let's players and ngl some specific fandubs that made it seem like a joke to have serious storytelling, was especially biased against. Especially since they literally have THE lead singer of Sleeping with Sirens, as well as a bunch of experimental music ranges but still focusing on the rock Sonic has been associated with for so long, yet wasn't even nominated for that. Like seriously??? No offense to the composers but I can guarantee only 20% of people would know a song right from the get-go from the entirety of the gow franchise, meanwhile even non-sonic fans know Green Hill. Escape from the City??? Do I even need to mention Live & Learn?! god I'm sorry for flooding your inbox but I'm like. Actually pretty heated over the blatant disrespect to the Sonic devs that's been going on for too long
yeah i cant help but notice it too people are so biased against sonic like every time some new sonic thing comes out and its good people go "wow this wasnt absolute dogshit like i was expecting it to be!" or "that was pretty good! you know.. for sonic". and people are somehow shocked that sonic frontiers has good music?? that HAS to be because they refuse to take sonic seriously because sonic has been delivering banger after banger since the 90s. and yeah like you said people constantly memeing on sonic and sonic becoming known for those sorts of things is not helping at all
and the game awards seem a bit biased against "childish" games in general not just sonic. like how nominees for awards like game of the year or best soundtrack or story or art are mostly more gritty and "adult" games and games that are more colorful and appeal to kids like sonic and splatoon and mario and kirby are excluded from that and are just nominated for best family game or some other smaller award. as if these games cant have good music or compelling stories just because kids like them and they dont have hyper realistic graphics and characters. and there are exceptions, animal crossing new horizons was nominated for goty back in 2020, but from what ive seen this is usually the pattern and it really sucks
#people either say media that appeals to kids is bad and should never be taken seriously#or that its Not For Kids Actually. just because they like it and theyre not a child. and both frustrate me so much#asks#and like. the mere concept of sonic is inherently silly. but the games can still have more serious stories#sa2 06 shth unleashed frontiers... its not even just limited to the games either like. look at idw sonic#but people never wanna acknowledge that. they only ever wanna go ''sonic bad'' or quote the new annoying sonic meme of the week#sa2 and 06 especially get it bad. but at least a lot of actual sonic fans are willing to take sa2s story seriously cant say the same for 06#long post#and yes the damage those stupid dubs have done to sonics reputation and the way people view certain games/chatacters is insane#also a lot of the jokes are really uncomfortable when you remember most of the characters are like. kids.#but nobody wants to fucking admit either of these things and it makes me want to explode
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M3GAN (2023, dir. Gerard Johnstone) - review by Rookie-Critic
What a way to start off the year. M3GAN was massively impressive from an FX angle. M3GAN, the titular android doll that serves as the film's antagonist, from what I could tell, was entirely practical. The filmmakers uses a combination of a real actress, Amie Donald, in prosthetic makeup and an animatronic puppet to bring M3GAN to life, and it's intensely effective. M3GAN feels like a real character in a way that a CG'd version could just never achieve because she actually exists in frame with the other actors. Allison Williams and Violet McGraw's performances feel so natural when interacting with M3GAN because they were actually in the space with something tangible talking back to them. I am in no way anti-digital effects, the things that people like James Cameron are doing with that craft deserve an insane amount of praise for what they're doing, and I'm sure Williams and McGraw would have still done beautifully had they needed to do this Roger Rabbit style, but there's something about the dedication and craft of practical effects that give a movie an extra quality push. Speaking of McGraw, let's take a quick aside to appreciate her performance here. Child actors in horror tend to go campy, and while M3GAN's premise is undoubtedly ridiculous (more on that in a second), McGraw does an amazing job and her performance feels very grounded. I've been a fan of hers since seeing her in Mike Flanagan's The Haunting of Hill House show on Netflix (really I've been a fan of everyone in that show since it came out), and I'm glad that she is getting major roles like this one, because she is a real talent.
Another one of the great things about M3GAN is its ability to balance tone. This is truly a horror comedy and blends both genres to amazing effect. I will always be down for a film that understands how absolutely absurd its premise is, and will lean into it hard with a self awareness that is unparalleled. It's probably the biggest reason that I loved Malignant when that came out in 2021 (an apt comparison considering James Wan, who directed Malignant, produced and co-created the story for M3GAN). Movies like this work because they're goofy and don't take themselves too seriously, but at the same time they don't sacrifice their horror moments in service of the humor, and vice versa, with both often living in conjunction with one another in the same moment. Seeing M3GAN do a TikTok dance right before chasing down Ronny Chieng's character (a scene that I'm not considering a spoiler as it is one of the more memed moments of the past couple months) is both hilarious and genuinely unnerving, and this is due in large part to the fact that the film isn't really trying to present this moment as scary at all (although, I will say that it felt a little random and out of place).
My big complaint with the film, and it's a shame because the film works on so many levels, is that its messaging, especially in the first half, comes off less like a film warning against the dangers of letting artificial intelligence get out of hand and how parental guardians can find a healthy balance between technology and real-world interaction, and more like a film that just feels afraid of technology in general. It openly mocks parents who "raise their children with technology" and frequently casts a judgmental eye on our protagonist Gemma for allowing Cady, McGraw's character, to have unlimited screen time and... *checks notes* not allowing her to play with her very expensive collectibles because... they're just toys, I guess? There were honestly so many heavy-handed "technology is bad" jokes and jabs in the beginning section of the film that I thought my eyes were gonna roll themselves right out of my skull with how much I was rolling them. Again, it's such a shame that the film presents this incredibly bad and out of touch take as moral and right because, outside of that, I thought M3GAN was a great success. Thankfully, in the film's third act it does come more around to the sentiment of not allowing children to form an unhealthy or damaging emotional or physical need for technology instead of its earlier mantra of "parents who allow their children to breath on a smart device are bad," and it brings the film back to a place where I feel comfortable and confident in recommending it as a fun and quite impressive horror comedy. 2023 has started off an a good note.
Score: 7/10
Currently only in theaters.
#M3GAN#Megan 2023#Gerard Johnstone#James Wan#Akeela Cooper#Allison Williams#Violet McGraw#Amie Donald#Jenna Davis#Jen Van Epps#Brian Jordan Alvarez#Ronny Chieng#Lori Dungey#Jack Cassidy#Amy Usherwood#Stephane Garneau-Monten#film review#movie review#2023 films
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State of Decay
I knew going into this that this was a serial about vampires but I didnt realize just how VAMPIRE those vampires were going to be. I think Vampires of Venice conditioned me to be unprepared and I loved it
There was, of course, a lot of the silliness that, for better or worse, defines Classic Who. The storm-the-castle scene was on par with some of the worst fight scenes in black-and-white era, the worldbuilding was shallow, and even considering their low budget the prop and costume design was, frankly, bad. The scientist guy's literal string "hat" was painfully distracting in particular
I also was not a huuuge fan of how Romana was sidelined a lot in this serial, with her one big moment of going to save Adric ending with her as a damsel, nor was a fan of how Adric's attempt to save her amounted to nothing. I really liked the scene that set up Adric's plan so to see it be resolved with like, a five second scene before he gets captured was disappointing
But despite all these issues (if I can even say that considering how I've come so far through a series defined by these aspects) I really loved this serial.
Part of that is just how firmly this serial committed to the bit. There was only one Dracula joke, with the rest of the serial very firmly saying "vampires exist now here's why that's scary." The seriousness it treats such a silly idea was a change of pace in how the show usually treats its villains, and I appreciated that
The character work was also really strong. There were some things left unclarified, like why Aukon had more power over the other two vampires, but for the most part all the characters were clear and not-caricatures. Particular shout out to the relationship between Ivo the village leader and Habris the captain of the guard. The scenes of Habris choosing Ivo's son despite their friendship, displaying one of the serial's themes being the Face-Eating Leopard Party meme, and then Ivo killing Habris in the end were really strong
It wasnt until the climactic ending though that I had a little realization moment of why I was enjoying this serial so much. The scene is the Doctor shooting a spaceship into the sky, only to have it plummet down and crash into the Great Vampires chest. In theory, and writing it out, it sounds totally badass. In practice, with the minimal special effects budget of the show, it looks like something I'd expect from a 50s Bmovie, not a show that at this point has been on for nearly 20 years and has a huge following and SHOULD have a bigger budget
And yet, it was that moment that I really internalized what I joked about before; this show looks bad. The acting is hammy and the effects are abysmal. This has always been the case and there have been a lot of amazing stories despite that, but I always was viewing this show with a "its a product of its times" view. Now, I think I've come around to saying "I love this show, bad effects and all."
The Classic era has always been proud of how bad it looks. There have never been jokes about "you look like a man in a mask" and every actor in the show has always taken the material they're given completely seriously. When they decide to add things like a Vampire God who barely survived a war across the universe with the Time Lords, they say that with their whole chest and expect their actors and audience to take that seriously. And I love that, even if they portray that with badly painted miniatures
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Can I get some SFW and nsfw modern day Kaeya and Diluc stuff? Ty ty!
Damn I hadn't even thought about ModernAU Genshin before lol should be interesting- lesgoooo~
Side note- Genshin refuses to make actual sense of any of the ages of its characters, so I'm going with, like... mid-20's, semi-recently out of college for these two.
Kaeya, Diluc x GN Reader - ModernAU! headcanons
SFW (nsfw below the cut)
Kaeya:
- He's in law school, and has a real knack for discovering hilarious and exploitable legal loopholes. It's also a field that suits him for a number of reasons- it makes use of his infectious natural charm, and keeps him entertained with the 'stories' you happen upon working with people's legal and personal problems. He's also the best dressed in any of his classes, and in any given courtroom. Those who know luxury clothing when they see it can't help incredulously wondering how he affords his wardrobe while still technically a student.
- Kaeya is such a shitposter. He habitually 'likes' any and everything you post on any and all social media platforms- but he'll also comment "mmm who's that sexy thing" beneath the most innocuous images of you. He sends you dumb memes at concerning hours of the night- frequently while intoxicated, and especially when you've had a stressful day.
- As a partner, Kaeya is surprisingly loyal. His friends (and yours) will joke about him being a total slut, how you must have to keep him on such a short leash. He doesn't take offense to this though, and in a way, he gets a kick out of being perceived this way. But in truth, since he's been with you, he's never once considered anyone else. When you're alone together, there's a warmth in his gaze and a gentleness to his touch that no one else has ever seen.
- Everywhere Kaeya goes, he seems to "know a guy." He's always got an in- and an elaborate story of how he met this person and why they're, frankly, worryingly open to doing him favors. It's rare that a date with Kaeya goes by without you being offered free drinks, free desserts, a better seat at a restaurant or theatre, etc. Generally, when pressed, he'll wave a hand and say, "Babe come on, you know me- I just love making friends." Though you've heard whispers that some of his "friends" are just people who can't afford to be on his bad side.
Diluc:
- Was on track to become a police officer for some time, but it took barely a month from completing his training for him to become entirely disillusioned with the entire system. He quit (bluntly and forcefully, I might add) and now works as a P.I. His quietly thoughtful and serious nature puts clients at ease while allowing him to examine each case efficiently and effectively. I also figure we'd still carry over the "bartending at night" angle from the games- it's a great way to network and gain intel while undercover.
- His phone is basically a device for work, the news, and sometimes for contacting you, and absolutely nothing else. He hates the constant noise of social media, and refuses to jump on trends when things move too fast to get meaningfully invested in anything. Still, while he tries to angle his screen so you won't see it, he has set a picture of you as his wallpaper.
- Diluc loves the quiet, domestic side of your relationship. He treasures things like cooking together, cuddling on the couch with a movie, or even working on chores and projects together. He comes from money (though he doesn't talk about it much), so the more down to earth life that he's made with you is precious to him, and he appreciates all of the little moments that reaffirm your bond. That said, he does have an excellent memory for things like birthdays, anniversaries and such, and he is not shy about spending some cash on such occasions.
- Your friends all think he's super hot (and they're right), but are also a bit intimidated by him. Once, you tried showing them a sweet message he sent you drowning in heart emojis and they insisted that couldn't be him. Now there's a running joke in your friend group about your secret side-guy who leaves you nice voicemails when you've had a bad day and has flowers sent to your work- since they're convinced someone as serious and put-together as Diluc couldn't be your incredibly affectionate boyfriend.
NSFW 18+ v
Kaeya:
- Kaeya loves showing you off, especially in an outfit he bought just for you. It seriously turns him on to watch you over a nice dinner out wearing something a bit risque that he selected for you, noting the appreciative glances in your direction from others nearby, and knowing that you're his. The way his line of sight wanders your body all night makes it exceedingly clear that he can't wait to tear that lovely outfit off of you when he has you alone.
- Definitely the adventurous and experimental sort when it comes to kink, and he especially enjoys a bit of exhibitionism or semi-public fooling around. During a similar date night, with you looking so positively delicious across the table, he'll watch with a wolfish smirk as you squirm from the vibrations of a toy he pushed inside of you earlier that evening. He reclines in his seat and levels his gaze on you, saying, "My, darling, are you feeling alright? You look a bit flushed..." as his hand fiddles with the toy's remote. Then, once he gets you home or- even better -to a hotel, he'll press you against the window as he fucks you into panting, mindless bliss.
Sometimes he doesn't even want to wait that long, and he'll find somewhere to park his car and fuck you in his back seat
- Kaeya has sending dick pics and lewd selfies down to an art. Seriously, his pictures are beautiful- of course helped by the fact that his body is gorgeous as well. Naturally, he loves to receive erotic images of you as well, and will save each and every one of them for "later use." If you're into it, he'll gladly send you a video of himself stroking his cock just for you, while describing every filthy thing he imagines doing to you in explicit detail.
Diluc:
- Generally speaking, Diluc wants to wine and dine you before the spicy business. He's a romantic at heart, and he wants you to know that he adores every part of you- and your body just happens to be one item on that list. He's not as obvious with his desires as some, but lingering gazes across the dinner table, or a hand at the small of your back trailing around your waist, all make his intentions clear. There's no doubt your lovely evening together will end with his strong body pressing you against his matress, his lips at your throat and your thighs clinging around his hips.
- He's generally fairly private about his sex life- not shy, per say, but insistent that your mutual pleasure is something for only the two of you. He's also not likely to sext or send lewd photos unless you really, really want them (and he's kind of adorably awkward about it at first even if he does try for you)- but if you tease him by sending him something naughty, his mind short circuits. His face burns crimson and he stops whatever he was doing and just stares at your beautiful body on the screen, as though he can already feel you in his hands.
- Diluc is a busy man, so there's likely to be stretches when the time and energy for sex simply isn't there. But once he's wrapped up a case and he finally has some time to breathe, you can bet he'll lift you into his arms and carry you to the bedroom the first chance he gets. You might even start to suspect that it's a way for him to vent his work stress when his thick cock pounds into you so nice and steady and deep- but you're certainly not about to complain, especially when you've been without him for so long.
#genshin impact#modern au#kaeya#diluc#kaeya x reader#diluc x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact smut#fluff and smut#genshin impact headcanons#genshin not sfw
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What Your Favorite Puella Magi Madoka Magica Ship Says About You
Inspired by DoubleCa5t's series, and since we're probably going to get an official video sooner or later, I'm putting my version out while I can.
Also, this is all in good fun, so don't take any teasing seriously.
...
MadoHomu (Madoka X Homura)
You are a firm believe in the inherent eroticism of this image.
You have episode ten memorized.
You have a very specific emotional reaction to “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper.
You have severe problems with The Rebellion Story, particularly in how it upended the optimistic note that the original series ended on and recontextualized Homura’s devotion to Madoka as something unhealthy and even toxic, but you still can’t bring yourself to reject the movie entirely, because at the end of the day, even you have to admit that damn, that dress.
The phrase, “X character did nothing wrong” pops up a lot in your internet discourse.
You ship CatraDora.
KyouSaya (Kyouko X Sayaka)
You’re always a sucker for how the dynamic of Enemies to Lovers shifts from antagonism to devotion without losing its obsessive intensity.
Your ideal date can best be summed up as Be Gay, Do Crimes…after which you have to call your responsible friend to come bail both of you out.
You know that important stuff happens after episode nine, but to be quite frank, at that point you were too emotionally traumatized to get invested and were only watching out of a feeling of obligation.
You were uncharacteristically smug after watching The Rebellion Story despite what disproportionately little screentime your ship received.
You also ship CatraDora.
MadoSaya (Madoka X Sayaka)
You don’t understand what all the fuss is about when it comes to Enemies to Lovers when there’s a perfectly good Friends to Lovers right there.
This is the same joke as the first part of MadoHomu, but with the Hot Topic switched out for a Footlocker.
You lost your mind on 4chan over Persephone’s Waltz on more than one occasion and for more than one reason (hey, ErinPtah!).
KyouMami (Kyouko X Mami)
You read A Different Story, and probably listened to that one audio drama.
You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of exes that still long for one another.
You feel that a lot of the issues that both these characters struggle with stem from how messy their falling out was, and had Mami been more supportive and Kyouko not abandoned her after the death of Kyouko’s family, a whole lot of grief could have been avoided.
MamiSaya (Mami X Sayaka)
Your ideal date is getting sempai to notice you.
You have gotten into at least one altercation with Anticrack-Kun.
MadoMami (Madoka X Mami)
Your ideal date is getting kouhai to notice you.
You’re just here for some girls being friends, gals being pals.
MamiNagi (Mami X Nagisa)
You were already shipping Mami with the human form of Charlotte before The Rebellion Story came out, and even afterward you’re still unwilling to let go despite how uncomfortable it makes you now, to the point where “Aged Up Characters” is a regular tag in your ao3 searches.
Either that, or…
HomuMami (Homura X Mami)
You’re a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of passive-aggressiveness.
You were tilting your head in a particular manner during that scene where Mami ties up Homura, and feel that how it ended was a real missed opportunity.
You had to pause The Rebellion Story for about five minutes after the gunfight, and after you continued you shouted, “Goddamn it, Sayaka!” out loud.
HomuSaya (Homura X Sayaka)
This is the same joke as the first part of MadoHomu, but with the Sanrio switched out for a Footlocker.
Your favorite ao3 tag is “Hatesex.”
KyouHomu (Kyouko X Homura)
You know what's better than one edgy badass girl with a tragic past? Two edgy badass girls with a tragic past.
You felt that both these characters spent too much energy pursuing someone that just weren't into them as they were, and would better off settling with someone on more equal footing.
You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of game recognizing game.
You really wish that they reached that ramen shop in the movie.
KyouMado (Kyouko X Madoka)
Your favorite highschool relationship dynamic is edgy delinquent/ray of sunshine.
You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of “gap moe.”
HitoSuke (Hitomi X Kyousuke)
You feel that these two characters get way too much hate, and everything that happened wasn’t their fault. Like, come on, guys. How could they have known that their teenaged relationship drama would be exploited by a race of emotionless alien groomers?
Your main priority is keeping things canon…and you don’t have a whole lot else to work with.
HitoSaya (Hitomi X Sayaka)
You feel that the most effective way of resolving a love triangle is eliminating the heterosexual options.
You feel that when Hitomi declared, “Girls can’t love girls!”, Sayaka’s reaction ought to have been, “Challenged accepted.”
SayaSuke (Sayaka X Kyousuke)
You just want good things for Sayaka, but only in a first four episodes kind of way.
You are heterosexual.
SayaHitoSuke (Sayaka X Hitomi X Kyousuke)
You feel that the best way of resolving a love triangle is by connecting the bottom two axis.
You are heterosexual. Or possibly bisexual. Well, regardless, you are really horny.
HomuHito (Homura X Hitomi)
You’ve played the portable game.
MadoHito (Madoka X Hitomi)
You are constantly frustrated at how little attention this ship receives. After all, weren’t they friends too? But instead people seem to be more focused on shipping characters that don’t even like each other or never even interact in the show, and at this point you’re just glad that I acknowledged it in this silly meme post.
MamiHito (Mami X Hitomi)
You want to be a wealthy, unmarried Victorian duchess who is noted by history for your incredibly close relationship with your lovely companion who lives with you, does everything with you, up to and including sharing a bed, and after both of your deaths scholars will make note of what great friends you must have been.
KyouHito (Kyouko X Hitomi)
You were going out of your way to piss off Anticrack-kun. And really, who wouldn’t?
KyouSuke (Kyouko X Kyousuke)
You were going out of your way to piss off everybody, and I salute your courage.
HomuJun (Homura X Junko)
You are really into Pixar moms.
Also, obligatory…
KazuJun (Kazuko X Junko)
This is the same joke as the second part of MadoMami, but you’re also really into Pixar moms.
MadoKyu (Madoka X Kyubey)
I can’t say for certain whether or not you’re a monsterfucker, but you certainly enjoy the chaos that the very implication of this ship creates.
PolyMegucas (Madoka X Sayaka X Homura X Kyouko X Mami)
You don’t understand why there has to be so much drama between all these different pairings. All the girls are wonderful in their own ways, and they would be so much happier if they just stopped fighting, formed a loving and mutually supportive team dynamic as was seen in the first part of the movie, and possibly smooched one another.
Also, you are extremely horny.
#puella magi madoka magica#pmmm#homura akemi#kyousaya#kyosaya#mamisaya#kyoumami#kyomami#madomami#madosaya#homumami#homusaya#maminagi#mamilotte#kyoumado#kyomado#hitosuke#sayasuke#hitosaya#sayahitosuke#madohito#mamihito#kyouhito#kyohito#kyousuke#homujun#kazujun#madokyu#polymegucas#madoka kaname
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Twisted Wonderland Reaction Part 12 ~ Sallie Mae Made Jamil Overblot Edition + Announcement!
About the title...yeah...its in reference to an EXTREMELY stupid ass joke found in this post...you’ll see...
I must say, even though I already read all of book 4 on my own, it’s still a fun treat reading it in EN simply for all the meme-able content the official translations offer! Since it seems like there won’t be any story updates this month, I’ve decided to continue reading book 5 on my own this weekend. There is also another reason I’m going ahead:
Over on my blog @jasmariswonderland I’m working on a mock event story with my twst ocs! The story takes place during the events of book 5 and is sort of a side story showing that some of my characters are up to during. So of course I need to finish reading for context but that shouldn’t take long since I don’t have to worry abt battles, twistunes or overblots. 😅
In the meantime, let’s finish up book 4! Warning: pic heavy, some swearing, some personal projection/mentions of my past, meme-ing, yelling at the Tweels and thirsting for ya’ll-already-fucking-know-who. Let’s jump in!
If we must, Jade. If we must...
WHY ARE YA’LL ALWAYS SO SUS! EVEN WHEN BEING NICE?!
LIKE YOU DID DURING THE END OF BEANFEST?! 💀
Heyyy! Shoutout to my namesake princess! Also off topic, but cyan is one of my personal favorite colors and I would love to cosplay Princess Jasmine one day when I’m thinner.
KALIM! Don’t do it! Runnnn!
Goddamnit, now I have a new ship...😩👀💀
“Forbidden lore”... whatever Azul! Tell that to all the wonderful artists over on twst twitter! 😭
God as much as the Tweels amuse me, if I were around them as much as Azul, I’d probably have to sleep with one eye open. Doesn’t help that they’d probably eat Azul if they could. Such an odd dynamic, I love it! 💜
Awwe his chibi is doing the glasses thing! 🥺🥺🥺
Jokes aside, I REALLY wanna know Crowley’s secret. Like this man oozes with sus sauce, moreso than any of these beautiful bastards going to NRC. WHY isn’t he trying to find a way to send us home?! WHY does his school suck so hard compared to RSA?! WHY do the students hate each other?! WHAT IS THIS FUCKING BIRD MAN DOING?! YES! DO IT JAMIL! EXPOSE CROWLEY! Yuulan would probably thank you!
Orrrrr, ya’ll can just cancel him. That works too...NOT! 😤
FUCKING JUMPSCARE!!! 🤬😭💀😩🤣
Thanks Azul, I hate it!
Intellectuals tend to be dastardly too, you know! 😤
Uhhhhh...that doesn’t look like a good sign Kalim...
THIS WILL FUCKING HAPPEN:
So...I was gonna retake this shot but I BARELY managed to defeat his first OB stage and the more I looked at this pic, the more it made me laugh for some twisted reason. To the point when I was debating weather to do his fight again just to retake it, my bf kept saying “looks like Sallie Mae made Jamil overblot...”
I know...we have an...odd sense of humor.
Sallie Mae aside, another cool as hell overblot design. All these designs for the overblots are so cool and now I’m even more excited about seeing that Vil’s looks like. But also terrified cause I feel like his will probably be WAY more difficult than this one.
YEEEEEEETTTTTTTT
What’s hilarious about these official translations is when they do speak clear english but the localization team still translates it into something else. It was especially noticeable during the culinary crucible event and its EXTREMELY obvious here! 😭😭😭
And as always, Yuulan continues to be iconic...
Poor Kalim, this really made me sad. I really feel like he didn’t mean anything malicious. He’s just too sweet and too good for this twisted (punch me) world.
SHUT UP YUULAN NOW IS NOT THE TIME
WHAT THE TRASH CAT SAID
Jesus fuck Jade! You’re charming but Jesus fuck! But seriously though, I respect it. With that smile, you can be certain no one would be able to find the body...
THIS IS WHY I DON’T LIKE YOU NO MORE AZUL (joking, please don’t come for me Azul stans)! Jamils gonna fucking die soon if we don’t do something and all you’re thinking abt is exploiting developing nations for a quick buck! FOR SHAME!
Aaaaand once again, we as the fans have been cheated of seeing Azul in his octopus form without having to overblot...😭
All that’s missing from this scene is for the boys and Yuulan to be in sexy red harem outfits...👀
If he can’t do it, GREAT!!!
This face is particularly creepy tho. 😳
Why am I not surprised this fucking bird man was willing to take bribes? This is probably why your school is so messed up (affectionately).
Okay! Time to get personal for a moment! Up until this point, I’ve had a certain level of sympathy for all the overblot boys and Jamil is no different. But Jamil’s sad story hit me especially hard because I was recently forced to sever ties with a group of toxic friends who, for more than decade, were the only friends I really had. And my relationship with them was a lot like what Jamil has with Kalim. Without going into much detail, I realize in hindsight that there was a lot of uncheckhed envy on everyone’s part but especially against me. I was made to defer to another friend who, for reasons, had to be better than me at everything. What made things worse was that our other friends were pressuring me to defer to them and yet actively compared me to them every chance they got.
One of the reasons I’ve been hesitant to continue reading book 5 is because even though I’m only a third of the way in, I can already sense that Vil has a similar dynamic with Neige as I had with this friend of mine and the parallels are even more clear to me. I hate to use this word but it’s been extremely triggering to me because these friends left me in an extremely venerable position that has only fed into my obsession with perfection and my self hatred. I have no friends at this point in my life and my creative pursuits are what bring me joy these days but one thing I’ve really appreciated and loved about Twisted Wonderland is the writing and how layered the characters are. That I can see my traumas in this story makes me feel strangely validated. I know that’s a pathetic thing to say but it’s true.
OKAY PERSONAL SHIT OVER! LETS CONTINUE!
🥺🥺🥺
Floyd, sweetie, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but please shut up before I pull out my stick again... (affectionately)
OOF! That’s all I can say, hell, that’s all I COULD say when I first read this! 😂
Daaaaammmnnnnnnnnn this is actually pretty awesome! And true.
Awweeee, this is so sweet. You two have really grown on me since the first time we met in the prologue. We’re all officially besties and it’s awesome! Even if you two do act like airheads sometimes...
But I’d love to know what public transportation is like in this world. Are there planes? Even though brooms are a thing. I’m sure boats are a thing since most of the land are isles, but yeah, I’m curious now.
Unlike Crowley, who DID...
And yet, you’re smiling...❤❤❤
Awwe, they were worried too!
Oh, hi Lilia. Fancy seeing you he...LILIA?!?!
Please don’t, and for the love of god, PUT THOSE FUCKING FANGS AWAY!!! 👀
Though I wish he hadn’t vanished so quickly, I would have happily invited Malleus to our feast, Lilia too! 💚
Also, I feel for Mal probably on his knees praying to the Great Seven that we wouldn’t figure out that M.D. stood for Malleus Draconia. Since he probably couldn’t sign the card Tsunotaro without Lilia interrogating him about it. Or worse, Sebek having a hissy fit abt someone daring to call Malleus such a name. 😭
OH GOD THE RAT IS BACK
THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?! WHAT DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN?!
Oh God...OH FUCK! OHHHH FUCKKKKK! Does that mean...? Could that possibly mean?? 👀👀💙💙👀👀💙
APPLE CHILD! My sweet apple child! His birthday is coming up soon too! 💙
Where’s my stick...
NOOOOO! Don’t cry, Epel! Please don’t cry! And the “dagnabbit” is adorably funny! I wasn’t gonna pull for Epel’s birthday card but I lowkey want to just to see how EN will translate that one part of his birthday story where he completely goes into his dialect.
Anywhoo, please don’t cry, Epel! Who would dare make my sweet apple child cry?! Cause the second I find them, me and my stick are gonna...
...oh...oh...nevermind...I’ll just put this stick down and see myself out...*backs away slowly*
FUUUUUCCCKKKK! THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERE HE IS MY DARLING HANDSOME SEXY SUS-AS-FUCK HUNTER!!! 💙💙💙
Aaaannndddd, I’m back on my Rook-thirst bullshit again. Sorry Epel, you’re on your own for now. When Rook comes on screen, my better judgement leaves me out the opposite window! And with that, let me end this before I get too far in my Pomefiore flailing. Yeah...🤣🤣🤣
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BnHA Chapter 307: The One With Shindou
Previously on BnHA: Endeavor and Hawks (and Jeanist too, although he didn’t really do anything, but BY GOD, WHAT IS UP WITH HIS NECK) held a press conference and were all, “everything you’ve heard is true, so we would just like to say, from the bottom of our hearts... our bad.” U.A. opened its doors to the public as an evacuation shelter. Deku and All Might told basically EVERYBODY about OFA, which is absolutely wild, and yet somehow we hardly paid any attention to this at all. Mostly because the chapter ended with Deku being all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD, THE ONLY ONE THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN” and peacing out of U.A. to embark on a solo journey of angst. So this is either gonna be the best or the worst thing that ever happened to this series, so TIME TO FIND OUT WHICH IT IS.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so who do you guys want to see next? Deku? Bakugou?? Well how about SHINDOU?” Shindou is all “hi :) I’m Shindou :) :) remember me :) :) :)?” Horikoshi is all “I’m so sorry for depriving you guys of Shindou for so fucking long, how about an ENTIRE CHAPTER ALL OF HIM” and then he REALLY FUCKING DOES IT because, I don’t know?? Did we make him mad?? Am I being punished for something I did in a past life?? It really is, honest to god, seventeen whole goddamn pages of Shindou, punctuated by a few pages of Muscular, and topped off with one (1) whole appearance by Deku at THE VERY END. And we don’t even get to see his face. I am beside myself lmao I’m sorry you guys, you can skip this recap if you want. Or just skip straight to the end, because movie 3 promo.
“long time no see” now what could this mean?? can’t think of too many characters this phrase would apply to right now. although I can think of one big one, and I know that fandom has been trying to manifest his deadbeat ass to finally show itself for years now. could it finally be that time? if Hisashi shows up and debunks DFO a big chunk of the fandom is probably going to riot lol
(ETA: why oh why did I get my hopes up like that lmao. I’m pretty sure Hisashi doesn’t actually exist and Deku was either immaculately conceived, or the stork really did bring Inko a lil green baby from the cabbage patch.)
anyway, so the chapter is opening on this random scene of CRIME and DISARRAY
was this all done by that big villain from the previous chapter? utility poles knocked down, random holes in the sides of buildings, and it looks like this one car pulled over in a hurry and the driver just hopped out and ran
who are these people talking
OH NO, OH GOD
I am immediately struck by the urge to push Shindou off of this ledge. is that mean? probably that is mean, but also fuck this guy lmao. every year you cheat someone out of their well-deserved spot in the popularity poll, and every year I want to punch you in your stupid face for it
bah. and how are you doing, Tatami. love that hero name even if you do have arguably the dumbest superpower in the entire series
listen, though. here I am shitting on these Ketsubutsu kids for no good reason, and I’m sorry about that, and truthfully it’s mostly because I just want to see Deku and/or Kacchan and so it’s hard to give a fuck about anything else right now. BUT, I will immediately cease and desist ALL of my complaining if this means we also get to see my best girl Ms. Joke, omg. Horikoshi please
sdlkfjlskalk
FUCK YOU SHINDOU OMG. I’M SORRY GUYS I CAN’T HELP IT, EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SO EMINENTLY PUNCHABLE AND DETESTIBLE. IT’S LIKE SOMEONE COMBINED WESLEY CRUSHER WITH JEAN RALPHIO
but LSKJFLEK at this random reminder that Bakugou refused to shake his fucking hand. like, that’s his “fun fact” apparently lol. it’s what he deserves
also living for this “cringe” here, too. fuck you Shindou. I am so, so sorry to any Shindou fans out there you guys because I’m just going to be like this the entire time he’s here. the hate is flowing through me
how has it been three whole pages and I still have to look at his stupid face
anyway so it seems like the kids are having to pick up the slack for Old Man Samurai and all those other assholes who retired. I’m guessing the U.A. kids will be seeing a lot more action as well
but in the meantime let’s hope no villains attack here all of a sudden, because all Tatami can do is make herself shorter while Shindou creates an earthquake to bring the entire building down around them dflkjslk
these guys don’t particularly want to go with them and I can’t say I blame them
so now Shindou is saying that yeah, they can probably handle the looters and such by themselves, but it’s a different story when it comes to the Noumu and the escaped Tartarus prisoners. Shindou how dare you make a reasonable point that I can’t immediately argue with
he says that one of the escapees was sighted in the area, so that’s why they’re trying to evacuate everyone
and the guy disagrees and says he doesn’t trust the heroes and thinks they’re pompous
fdskljk. fucking...
ME: Horikoshi can we please stop and get Deku
HORIKOSHI: we have Deku at home
THE DEKU AT HOME:
Horikoshi. please. we get it, the civilians don’t trust the heroes anymore. I UNDERSTAND. I COMPREHEND THIS. so unless there is some other point to this scene I respectfully ask that you hurry things along because omg
did Tatami always have this habit of speaking in meme language and such? I thought that was Camie’s thing but hey
listen, I’m here for anyone who’s willing to drag this man down into the depths of the earth. I would just also rather not spend the entire fucking chapter on this oh my god. Horikoshi do you have any more of those chapters where things happen in them?? those are good, I like those
YESSSSSS FINALLY
so whoever’s on the other end of the call (ETA: it’s that rock-looking guy who can harden anything that he touches. why does BnHA have so many hardening powers) is telling them to run because there’s apparently a villain heading right for them, oh my
WHO IS HE
depending on who it is I can’t promise I won’t be rooting for them over you, buddy
ohhhhhh shit
huh. well that’s... hmm... but on the other hand...
okay lol no, I know it’s bad. Muscular fucking LOVES murdering kids. not even Shindou deserves that. I’m sure he has a family that loves him and stuff. and Tatami seems like a sweet girl. they don’t deserve to be murdered
that is the question isn’t it? are we really going to spend the entire chapter with Limbs-Retracting-Girl and her boyfriend, Joseph Gordon-Levitt from (500) Days of Summer??
YES OMG
YES PLEASE CALL YOUR SENSEI. my god do you know what I would give to see Ms. Joke take down an S-class villain??
(ETA: all I’ll say is that we were robbed here, you guys.)
now Tatami is running away while Shindou stays behind omg
Horikoshi I know I said I hate the guy, and I do, but my god. seems I don’t hate him half as much as you do you. been nice knowing you Shindou my man
are you serious Tatami really ran all the way back up here to try and evacuate these guys one more time
SHE’S SUCH A GOOD PERSON omg if you assholes don’t listen to her you deserve to get murdered
BRO
HORIKOSHI DID YOU REALLY FUCKING DO IT I CAN’T BELIEVE IT
LOL OKAY NO, SO FAR HE’S ONLY MESSED UP HIS FACE
WHAT A SHAME WHAT A TRAGEDY. THE WORLD MOURNS
okay but seriously, now he has to be dead
r.i.p. Shindou. he died doing what he loved, talking a lot and being utterly useless
then again, damn Shindou are you really gonna come out here and be a badass?? gonna make me eat my words there kiddo?
I have absolutely no idea if I should expect this to work or not. all I know is that this is page 14, and so it would seem we really are going to spend the entire fucking chapter on fucking Shindou. this beautiful chapter had so much potential, Horikoshi. and now look at it. I hope you’re happy
nope it didn’t fucking work at all lmao
IT’S JUST LIKE I SAID. r.i.p. you pretentious handsome lump
OHHHHHH SNAP
DEKU YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LOL. anyway but it’s good to see you!! it’s good to see ANYONE other than these guys sob but especially you
FINALLY SOMETHING COOL OMG
somehow Horikoshi actually made the bunny mask look badass?? I don’t think this is sustainable, but I am here for it while it lasts
Shindou should by all rights be nothing but A HANDSOME PASTE at this point lol but WHATEVER. it’s BnHA; getting smashed into walls and cliffs has more or less the same consequences as being set on fire. slap a band-aid on it and you’re good to go
we are REALLY ENDING IT HERE huh
well. and that’s it. I just did not care about any of that lmao. a rare dud of a chapter. well, but we’ve had something like ten in a row that ranged from “pretty good” to “amazing”, so I guess that’s fair
anyway I feel like I owe you guys something other than endless bitching and moaning, so! BONUS:
now this is more like it
first of all, I’m absolutely living for this promo’s “YEET THE CHILDREN OUT OF A HELICOPTER” vibes. FUCK YEAH WE’RE HEROES BITCH
is Deku wearing a jetpack/parachute?? let’s hope he is because I’m assuming he doesn’t have Float yet, so if that’s not a jetpack then it is a LONG WAY DOWN kiddo
these maniacs actually got Deku to wear something other than his red shoes holy fuck. I’m speechless. are we sure that’s not an imposter??
Shouto has the funniest falling position I’ve ever seen. I’m assuming his left arm is not in fact tucked under his leg like it appeared to be at first glance?? like, wtf is the outline of your body right now Shouto
this is what I think it is after careful analysis, but at first I thought this kid had some hidden contortionist abilities
and then there’s this guy
I MISSED YOU YOU BIG GOON. loving the new gauntlets!! and he’s changed up his impractical metal neck thingy into arm thingies! but most importantly, ARE THESE WHAT I THINK THEY ARE
ARE THOSE WEENIES. KACCHAN. KACCHAN HAVE YOU GONE NATIVE OMFG
and meanwhile, look who’s with them! Endeavor makes perfect sense of course, but Hawks is a very welcome surprise. does this mean we can expect to see Tokoyami too? because I would fucking love that
lastly, so this confirms the whole “world heroes” thing! which we all pretty much guessed anyway lol. I wonder if this movie will take place in another country (fingers crossed). the city in the background doesn’t look particularly familiar, but this image probably wasn’t meant to be analyzed in that way lol. anyways, looking forward to this so much, PLEASE GIVE US A TRAILER SOON omg
#bnha 307#shindou you#nakagame tatami#muscular#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#todoroki shouto#bnha movie 3#bnha world heroes' mission#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#'I never knew shindou was so popular' said horikoshi not understanding memes#'I guess I better give the people what they want'#smdh#this chapter should be called 'horikoshi's revenge'
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beyond the story: bitchin’
Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.
Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.
CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS
Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.
The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.
On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !)
“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.
Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.
“Partners.”
God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D
CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT
Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.
You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.
The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.
“How old do you think your sister is?”
“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.
Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.
FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.
CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE
I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.
“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.
“Yep. Three.”
“Tell me about them.”
Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.
I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.
“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”
“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.
“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.
“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”
You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.
Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.
“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.
It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.
“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”
Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.
Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.
From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.
“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”
“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.
“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”
“And your mom?”
“She works at a convenience store.”
All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.
“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.
“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”
“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.
“Remember it.” He warned.
“Why?”
“It’s when I fell in love with you.”
This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.
OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖
CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY
The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.
I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.
Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.
Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.
CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME
Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.
“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.
“The sun?” You laughed.
“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”
Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.
“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”
And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.
No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )
“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.
Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.
“Yara?”
“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”
Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.
Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”
Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.
"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.
“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.
“You think?”
“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.
“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”
You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.
“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.
GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.
CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT
I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.
Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).
Then the event scene.
“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”
Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”
“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.
“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.
An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.
“I’m happy for you, bro.”
Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c
I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.
Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.
“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.
“Temper?”
“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”
Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.
CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE
This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.
You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.
Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.
“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”
You nodded.
“You’re proposing, right?”
“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.
Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.
“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.
“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”
“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.
“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.
“What about us?”
Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.
MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.
Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(
“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”
Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.
“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.
“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.
It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.
But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.
CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE
BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.
You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.
God, he had missed the taste of you.
What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.
But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.
Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.
“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.
“…Oh.”
You shook your head.
“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.
“Y/N–”
“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.
Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.
“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.
GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.
“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.
“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”
“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”
And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?
IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.
CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK
Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.
Scene one: Kiri confrontation
Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)
Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library
Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.
Scene three: Meeting with Erik
So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖
I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.
I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.
CHAPTER TEN – THE END
RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.
You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.
THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?” IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.
You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.
“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.
“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”
“I’m—”
“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”
Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.
“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.
Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.
“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”
Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.
Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.
The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.
You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.
“I slept with Erik.”
Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.
“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.
Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.
I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.
The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).
"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.
"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.
"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.
I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.
Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.
“Partners?”
The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.
Idiot.
“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.
UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.
AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...
10 YEARS LATER
Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him
You said yes (shocker)
Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding
You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon
Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3
SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT
Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor
And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke
“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”
“Yara, it’s okay.”
“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”
Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby
Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant
Taehyung is the dad lol
Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3
They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)
Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect
Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up
“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”
“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”
Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender
Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be
“JK, breathe.”
“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”
“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”
Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(
(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)
Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time
You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet
The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real
The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already
But you guys figured it out
You always do
He’s your person. And you are his.
Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up
Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you
The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight
The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good
Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively
Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera
The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are
You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub
Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide
“What?”
“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy
Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted
Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.
“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”
The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor
“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“
His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar
You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband
“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver
“I love you too.”
“Let’s make a baby.”
“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”
Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest
“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”
“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”
“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”
“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”
Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips
Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it
Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook
Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk
The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present
You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago
Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband
And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy
And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together
#beyond the story#bts smut#Jungkook smut#bts jungkook#bts#bts imagines#bts preferences#Jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook
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For the ask meme: traphawk and hawkbeej?
Brutally honestly, I think Trapper/Hawkeye is the better relationship for Hawkeye, and I ship it more in an endgame sense than BJ/Hawkeye, but at the same time I'm nooooot super interested in it. They're fun to watch, I love their chemistry, I think they'd be happy together and the logistics work better since they live close by and Trapper isn't obsessed with his marriage, it fits better into my own thematic read on the show... but there's not much strife there, yk? There's the one fraught 'why no note' talk they can have, but otherwise they're just a solid good relationship, which is nice, but it doesn't engage me a whole lot.
If I was gonna be into eg a Hawkeye/Trapper longfic then it'd be because I'm into the Hawkeye character study aspect with the ship as a fun bonus, rather than really being invested in the relationship itself, yk? It's good but it's not enough of a draw on its own.
BJ/Hawkeye on the other hand is an absolute trainwreck in my eyes. I don't think they'd ultimately be happy together, and in many ways I think they're actively pretty bad for each other and exacerbate each others' issues. I’m biased because I find their relationship most interesting when the flaws are on display (like Period of Adjustment is one of my favourite episodes of the show solely for this) and so that’s what I focus on and think about more than the times they’re in sync and on the same side, but yeah basically I see them crashing and burning if they get together, and I’m into that.
I think BJ often, inadvertantly and on purpose, tears Hawkeye down. Sometimes it’s in a protective way (why can't you just shut up and put up with hardship like me instead of taking risks trying to change things you can't change), sometimes it’s part of his literally canonical 'taking his feelings out on other people' coping mechanism, sometimes it’s because Hawkeye’s emotional intensity makes him uncomfortable imo, and sometimes I think it’s to try to keep himself at an emotional distance (eg I think that explains a lot of his behaviour in the finale), but yeah, it happens a lot.
Hawkeye, for his part, sometimes gets weird and petty when he’s not the centre of attention (Potter laughing at BJ’s joke more in the OR in Dear Uncle Abdul eg), sometimes doesn’t take BJ’s feelings seriously enough, and sometimes gets overly upset and snaps over small slights. But yeah mostly the issues here are on BJ’s side imo, which is good bc they’re the most interesting part of his character to me lol.
I do think they genuinely love each other and care about each other and like each other as people, but due to their circumstances (meeting in a war that is severely fucking them both up) and clashing personalities it's codependent and sometimes bitter and not very healthy.
I'm also into the idea that BJ is closeted and gay and that's part of what makes him act out, but I don't think coming out will fix him and make him capable of a healthy relationship with Hawkeye, because it's also the deep seated anger over the war, the separation from his family, etc, and he's always gonna have shitty coping mechanisms for his emotions no matter how gay he is unless he addresses it, and lbr he lives in the 50s and knows one decent psychiatrist that he refuses to talk to.
(and also bc I’m just not interested in that lol. if hawkeye/bj was a good mutually healthy happy relationship i’d be bored. I don’t read much of the fic for that reason.)
And I would absolutely love to see the more fucked up side of their relationship explored. I think I could get very invested in a more toxic take on their potential relationship, especially if it ends badly, and I think it's a shame that so few people are into ships like that lol so if I want to see it I'm probably gonna have to write it myself for an audience of me.
Like I swear this isn't BJ bashing or whatever lol, this is genuinely the kind of shit I looooove to read about and if BJ wasn't fucked up I wouldn't have any interest in him at all, like, I'm genuinely more emotionally invested in Hawk/BJ than Hawk/Trapper bc of this.
Basically my ideal Mash fic is like 75k of hawk/bj in a lowkey (emphasis on lowkey, I like subtlety) fucked up relationship that highlights their flaws before they break up and Hawkeye gets back together with Trapper. Absolutely no one else would want to read this because it would piss off most hawk/bj fans and wouldn't satisfy or interest hawk/trap fans but man, it would make me happy.
#i would not write that fic however bc it's too self indulgent lol if i wrote hawk/bj it would just be miserable and end with them alone#but i'd love to read it#also worth noting in this hypothetical ideal fic both bj and hawkeye would be sympathetic lol tho mb not in quite the same way#ty for asking!#marley on mash#this is too brutally honest i'm not putting it in the mash tag rn#mash#bj mash#trapper mash#ship hb#ship ht#ask meme
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how sawamura, miyuki, yuki, and kuramochi text (friends + s/os)
will most likely do a part 2 with more boys at a later date! these got freakishly long because i am, at my core, a very mad. also might revisit as i get re-familiar with the characters, i just had this idea floating around in my head. also the way these got pro
sawamura eijun
no matter who he texts, it’s always extremely extra. not only does he always give more information than you asked for – ex. if you text him wya? he will give you a play by play of his entire route or something
he also uses tons of emoticons. and yes I do mean emoticons, baby boy has a flip phone. ifhe does eventually get a smart phone, then this boy overuses tf out of emojis. he’s the sort of person that sees someone use a combination of emojis he likes and then tries to copy them, but uses it completely incorrectly, but its v cute.
if you send him a meme, he will respond with an unnecessary amount of hahas.
when he’s texting his lil bae, they’re always on his mind so he ofc texts them every thought that comes to his mind! when he sees something that reminds him of you, he won’t hesitate to share it with you.
if you have been together for a long time, then we will definitely text you words of affirmation and be very honest/blunt about how he feels about you. he’s also always sure to ask you about your day - and he seriously cares. but i still i feel like with a s/o he would prefer facetime to texting just because he likes to see you :)
overall, a very adorable texter and his enthusiasm is just as contagious when texting as it is in person. he’s kind of clueless so he doesn’t pick up on subtext. so be blunt, just like he will be with you~
kuromochi youichi
my bias might be showing here, but I feel like he is one of the most well-adjusted boys in terms of being ready for a serious relationship tbh (at least post-high school). i mean we all saw that he regularly corresponded with wakana wish that were me lmao
i think he would most often use proper capitalization, but not to the point where he uses a period after every text
would send his friends news articles about his favorite fighting games where u like gaming or not
a meme fiend in general. the sort of person who uses reaction images of people he knows. (if you’re dating, he would still have a stash of funny pics/screenshots of you on ft, but he’d ofc only use them with you <3). his convos with his friends are rarely serious
i don’t think he’d be the type to text haha out loud, but he does use LOL on occasion. with close friends/his lil bae he might send a voice memo of him laughing hysterically if you send him something REALLY funny. ugh my annoying king <3
unlike eijun he’s the king of being perceptive / picking up subtext.
similarly, i do think he’s pretty reliable, but for friends i feel like he might make a lil bit of a stink lmao. like lets say a friend wants him to pick something up for them, he might play like he won’t do it then miraculously shows up with the requested item. its giving tsundere vibes on the low.
with his partner: i feel like he would use emojis when he’s trying to be ~cute~. i think with a established partner he’d be pretty flirty still but he’s v much whipped for his partner so its way more mushy than it would be early in the relationship.
yes your name has hearts/stars in his phone. mans is a SAP for you
his love language is more quality time imo, so I think he values time spent with you over texting time. so a lot of your texts might be asking you to come over to hang out / get a meal or vice versa
like eijun he wants to hear about YOU, and is very supportive and good at advice when he wants to be. he can be goofy but this is how he shows you he cares/sees you as more than a friend
he’s a blushy/shy boy with his s/o esp early in the relationship, so he might be hesitant or nervous to say “i love you” or anything like that outright, but you know anyway, which just makes the times when he does outright say it that much sweeter.
miyuki kazuya
i mean it goes without saying that this man is snarky. he’s not a meme king himself but he enjoys when people send them to him and will usually play off the meme to make his own jokes.
i feel like he also likes deep-fried memes or the very abstract, post-modern memes. miyuki is good at making other people laugh, but he has a generally very-off brand humor and the things that make him cackle hardest are either at someone else’s expense (very similar to kuramochi, so they bond a lot over that) or just indiscernible without access to a huge layer of context/background
saves the reaction photos kuramochi sends him, but doesn’t usually use them. but seeing an ugly pic of eijun yelling never fails to make him grin LMAO
i think he also texts A LOT about baseball, even more so than these other baseball dummies. texts his teammates a lot of articles he reads or clips from games/cool plays. this is mostly about texts, but in terms of social media I think miyuki uses twitter/instagram the most especially for baseball related reasons, while kuramochi uses snapchat the most.
he probably texts a lot about baseball as well, both seriously and playfully
i can see him using hahas and LOLs in equal measure, but he would also utilize the haha reaction if he had an iphone. this boy does value his wit so he would definitely have commentary about any memes or jokes he’s sent
you won’t win a joke war against him, he will definitely one-up whatever you send him with either a one-liner or another joke. how tf does he do it?
definitely ignores people/conversations if he really wants to - but ofc he never does that to his BAE
if miyuki give you a dry one-line response...he’s not interested at all or he’s feeling frustrated about something else. but when he’s really happy? he will text his friends all the time and spam them! i see him as someone who enjoys texting when he has the attention span/state of mind for it. and when he’s texting his s/o his texting gets even more ~flavorful~
wit his lil bae: i don’t think miyuki would switch it up much w his s/o. is probably even more teasing with you over text than he is with his friends, which is saying something.
like talking with you just by nature of you being his partner. prob prefers texts to facetime because text kinda allows for maximum snark
he LIVES for you guys’ witty back and forth
if he’s traveling for work or something, will definitely relish in you guys binge texting a tv show or something but just making funny commentary (or he’ll just send you funny commentary to get a reaction)
he can dish it and he’s also not a super sensitive guy so he can take it tenfold from you as well. nothing y’all wouldn’t be used to when talking in person!
sometimes when texting him you’ll want to beat his a*s because he can be so cheeky but its endearing in a way. he definitely adds emojis to the end of his more annoying messages to give it that loveable vibe (and it works ofc, we love u miyuki)
he’s kinda clingy on the low so i think he’d prefer a partner that’s more open with their affection via text than he is. he would live for your random ilys or whatver throughout the day. also would not mind at all if you updated him on your actions throughout the day or sent him snaps - might not be able to respond to everything, but will react and appreciate it. very likely to make jokes about whatever you’re doing.
would also apologize over text. he’s not always used to apologizing can be awkward about it, so text makes it easier for him.
he would use emojis w you in a joking/ironic way. would absolute use those dumb but genius emoji combinations
yuki tetsuya
i’m literally cracking up thinking about texting him. he is one of my ultimate baes but im sorry i just know he texts dry asf. but its part of his charm!
has a flip phone. either never upgrades or gets the chunkiest most basic android if he is forced to
the thing is this man thinks that he is infusing all his texts with, like, tajin level seasoning, when in reality its pepper
uses punctuation. always. exclamation marks are used sparingly to express excitement.
but i can’t get the image out of my head of an upset tetsuya texting you a simple angry emoji (or the angry emoticon >:( LOL) if he’s reeeeeeally mad. but its v cute i can’t take him seriously. i just want to give him a hug <3
but you know what he is so PASSIONATE about whatever he’s talking about that his passion bleeds into his text through sheer quantity of words and depth of thought. ultimately, all his conversations end up being extremely flavorful in terms of content. he is surprisingly good at having deep conversations over text.
he’s better at holding conversations with more extroverted personalities, truthfully.
he’s another one who sends random things to people when he thinks about them. miyuki of course gets so many texts/thoughts about shogi. if you get a random haiku, poem, or quote from testu, that means you’re blessed enough to be in his inner circle! he definitely thought of you when he read it and and wants you to respond!
with bae: he doesn’t really change up his texting style tbh, but he has a stronger outward reaction to what YOU text in response.
definitely the type to smile almost imperceptibly at his phone as he texts you, even if you send him something like “hey i’m at the store, want anything?”
he’s not great as verbal affection early in the relationship, so you’ll have to discern his love/affection. however baby boy is NOT afraid to just straight up say he loves you, he does it all the time and early.
he’s KNOWN for being reliable and responsible, so he will be at your beck and call when he’s able to for anything you need, but his heart is also warmed by the thought of you reciprocating that care. if your texts show him you’re thinking of him just like he does too. he’s very gentle and sweet, and checks up on you when he’s able to see if you need anything at all.
he might be reliable, but that doesn’t mean that he’s the quickest guy to respond to texts. he’s a busy guy, and he doesn’t think about his phone all the time, but he will always get back to you (bae does not play when it comes to completing things).
if they came up with a shogi game for gamepidgeon and tetsu had an iphone, your phone probably would be spammed with requests for games lol.
this is my first time doing headcanons like this so please let me know what you think or give me tips on how to improve! I really enjoying thinking about it so I hope to do more in the future <3
#daiya no ace#daiya no ace headcanons#sawamura eijun#miyuki kazuya#kuramochi youichi#yuki tetsuya#sawamura eijun x reader#miyuki kazuya x reader#kuramochi youichi x reader#yuki tetsuya x reader#dna headcanons#miyuki x reader#kuramochi x reader#ace of diamond#headcanons#texting headcanons#my writing#diamond no ace
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