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bumblebeesfromvenus · 4 months

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Deck the Halls 🎻

Bale!Bruce Wayne x Wife!reader

A/N: This is the ultimate crossover, Bale!Bruce and Christmas, what more could you want??? I don't know quite how I feel about it mainly because I wrote most of it at 3 am lmao. Love-hate relationship, I guess. I hope you like it, anyway!

~Fi 🐝

Fi's Christmas Market ☃️

Warnings: implied angst?? Mention of his parents' death (very briefly), so much fluff omg, starring Alfred, Selina, and Lucius, Bruce is obsessed with you <3

Word count: 3.6k

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

"A Gingerbread house contest?"

Bruce gave you a skeptical look as you explained your idea for the annual Wayne Yule Ball. You were sitting at the meeting table in the office of Wayne Enterprises, brain storming ideas to make this years Gala a little more interesting. The events were always quite boring, the only thing keeping your spirits up was the bar most of the time.

You'd occasionally hang around on the side lines with Alfred, people-watching Gothams wealth. This year had to be different. You were sick and tired of the fad and dragging evenings.

This was the Yule Ball, after all. The Manor would be decked in lights and ornaments, the lovely tunes of Christmas would echo through the halls and you'd actually have some fun for once.

Bruce would try to make them more bearable for you, inviting you to dance as much as he could, even if it earned him detesting looks. He wasn't a huge fan either, but it was his duty. He'd rather be curled up with you, feeling your warmth against his skin while doing your favorite festive activities.

Selina was seated next to you, twirling a pen between her fingers, looking like she was about to collapse from boredom. Alfred sat next to Bruce with a notepad, writing down any ideas that had come forth. Lucius was there too, of course, hoping to aid in any technical things.

"Yeah, why not? We need to do something interesting this year, and a making Gingerbread houses is a pretty classic activity, no?" You responded, shrugging slightly.

"I'll definitely come to the Ball if you pull through with that." Selina smirked. Bruce sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, honey? I mean, most of the people that attend aren't really ones to get their hands dirty."

"If I may, Master Bruce, I think it's a great idea." Alfred interrupted politely, making you smile. "I think it's important for the rich of Gotham to not lose touch with the average life. And, it'd be quite sweet, wouldn't it?"

Alfred grinned, proud of the pun he just made. You let put a small giggle while Selina and Lucius were smiling slightly. Bruce, on the other hand, sighed as his brows pulled together.

"Alright, so if we do this, who's going to be the judge?" He asked, finally caving in to your request.

"I knew you'd come around," you smiled, watching as a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth, "I think it's pretty obvious. Alfred should judge the houses."

"Me? Miss, I'm flattered but I don't think I have the expertise to-"

"Nonesense, Alfie," Selina cut him off, "We've all seen what you can do in the kitchen. If anyone's going to judge anything, it should be you."

"I agree. He does make a mean Victoria Sponge." Luscius agreed, his reasoning strong enough to make Alfred ponder for a moment.

"It doesn't just have to be houses. We can just give them creative freedom, let them go at it." You suggested, earning nods of approval.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this," Selina mumbled, inhaling a sharp breath,"What if we make it a family event? Let them bring their kids. They'd probably be more open to the whole idea that way."

"Good thinking, Miss Kyle."

Bruce chewed on his lips as he thought. This would be very different than most years. His parents had started the tradition of a yearly Yule Ball, and he was afraid to make changes. But then he thought back to how his parents always tried to keep a somewhat humble life to be able to help the people in need more efficiently. Also, he could never say no to you.

"Okay. Why not. Even if they don't enjoy it, at least we'll have a good time." He smiled softly, looking at you. You almost beamed with excitment.

"We need a price too, right? What's the point of a contest without a price." Selina intervened. A silence fell over the room as everyone was thinking of what the price coule be.

"I say we give the winner an hour with Bruce's credit card and see how much damage they can do." You snorted, meaning it as a joke but when you weren't met with disagreement a surpirsed expression took over your face.

"Fine by me." Bruce shrugged. You forgot that he was a billionaire sometimes.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that but that just upped my determination by 100%." Selina grinned, making Bruce roll his eyes.

Bruce started talking to Lucius about the organizational aspects while you discreetly high fived Selina under the table. You'd talked about this idea before, your friend mostly finding it funny that the most esteemed people of Gotham would have to struggle with sprinkles and sticky icing.

She was quite impressed you pulled through, although that Bruce agreed wasn't a surprise to her. He'd do about anything you asked, which she sometimes used to her advantage.

"You truly have him wrapped around your finger, huh?" Selina mused, sending a sly smirk your way. You leaned back in your chair, inspecting the shimmering wedding band on your hand.

"Well, he wouldn't have put a ring on it if I hadn't." You grinned, making Selina shake her head with a chuckle.

"When do I need to be there to see Gotham get down and dirty?"

"December 25th, 8:00 pm, Wayne Manor."

"See ya then." The brunette gave you one last grin before taking her leave, claiming she had some 'business' to attend to. The so called 'business' would surely end up on the front page of the Gotham Gazette tomorrow morning. She was a great friend despite her passion for her illegal hobby. You couldn't really blame her, though. She'd grown up with nothing, and had to fight to survive.

You were the last one to complain if one of Gothams renowned business men mysteriously lost a couple of million dollars, which then appeared donated to a charity the next day. She'd never steal from you, or Bruce.

That's not to say she hadn't tried, but Selina did find that Martha's necklace suited you just a tad better than her. She had quite the soft spot for you, you weren't like the rest of the wealthy people she knew. You were honest, understanding and kind. Selina put a great amount of trust in you and she knew you'd never break it. If that meant having to put up with Bruce once in a while, so be it.

Alfred slipped into the seat next to you, Bruce and Luscius still discussing the guest list, when to send the invites, and to order all the necessary things for the contest.

"Truly a marvelous idea, Mrs. Wayne. He never dared to make any changes before you came along, you know?"

You turned you head towards him, a slight blush on your cheeks. Did you really have that much of an impact on him? To think that you were the one that made the Bruce Wayne soften and be more open to change made your heart swell with pride.

"Really? I thought he just never cared that much. For the Ball, I mean." You said, intrigued of what you were about to learn from Alfred about your beloved Husband.

"No, no, not at all. It was his favorite thing as a boy. What I'd do to see him happy like that again." The older man sighed, a melancholic tint in his eyes.

You smiled at the thought of Bruce being excited for Christmas. Just being a boy. You reckoned all of that changed after his parents' death. The warm and loving holiday was now left in gray dullness and the emptiness that he felt in his heart when he'd sit under the tree, all alone, yearning for a hug from his father and the gentle touch of his mothers lips on his cheek.

You were determined to fill that void, shower him in all your love until the gaping hole in his chest was fixed. Who knew if it was possible, but you were willing to give it your all.

"You will, I promise." You replied softly, gently placing your hand on his arm. Alfred gave you an appreciative smile, the sadness in his eyes wavering slightly. He softly padded your hand, resting it on it for a moment.

"You make him so happy already, though. I suppose I can't complain too much, can I?" He joked, making you laugh softly.

"I'm just loving him, that's all."

"That's all he needed." Alfred smiled softly.

Bruce glanced over to you, his heart pouding with pure love as he saw you laughing with Alfred. His two favorite people were getting along so well, it made unbridled joy bloom in his chest. You had changed his life, only for the better, you made him feel like a person again.

For years he'd been aimlessly wandering, hoping to find himself. He was lost in the dark, going through life pretending to be someone he wasn't. Or was he? He didn't know. But you were his guiding light, your gentle flicker lighting up his path. Your soft warmth getting him through many a cold night when the thoughts of self doubt and fear were gnawing at him.

All he needed was you pressed against his chest, your soft breathing like a sweet lullaby to him as you slept peacefully in his arms.

"Mister Wayne? Mister Wayne-" Lucius voice broke him out of his daydream, his back straightend and he cleared his throat, hoping no one caught him. You were still chatting on with Alfred, so you hadn't noticed, good. But when he looked over to Lucius, there was a knowing smirk on the man's face.

"Yes, Mr. Fox? Do you have the guest list ready?" Bruce questioned, fiddling with his fingers. He looked at Lucius expectantly, trying to hide his slight embarrassment.

"I don't blame you for staring. She fills the role of Mrs. Wayne perfectly." He answered, a gentle smile on his face. Bruce's shoulders immediately dropped, the tension fading away. He let out a small huff through his nose with a tight lipped smile.

"She does, doesn't she? It's like she was made for this. Made for me." He said quietly, the adoring look in his eyes as he admired you not being missed by the Inventor. Lucius placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"Why don't you spend the day together? I'll take care of everything." He said reassuringly.

Bruce's eyes widened slightly and he turned to face Lucius.

"Lucius-"

"No, I won't hear it. Go on, spend the day with her." He gave him chuckle before patting his back and gathering his things.

"We're done here, Mrs. Wayne. You can have your husband back." Lucius laughed, packing up the last of his documents. You giggled, which immediately set Bruce's heart aflame.

"How gracious of you, Mr. Fox." You teased, getting out of your chair, Alfred by your side.

"Let's go, my love. We have Christmas movies to watch and a dog to cuddle." You chirped, dragging him out of his chair.

All he could do was smile as he let himself be taken by you and wonder how he got this damn lucky.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You were now curled up on the couch, Bruce by your side, his arm draped around you. Your dog, Rudy, was snoozing on your lap as you scratched his head. The extra weight and warmth of your pup made it hard to keep your eyes open.

You were resting comfortably against Bruce, who traced gentle patterns on your arm as he was tentatively watching the TV. A smile tugged at your lips at Bruce's soft breaths, his strong chest falling and rising, lulling you to sleep. Your smile was cut off by a yawn. You lifted your hand from Rudy's head to cover your mouth, but he let out a whine, immediately nudging at your hand.

You chuckled groggily, trying to keep the sleep at bay so you could enjoy your moment with Bruce.

"'M sorry, buddy." You cooed, going back to petting your fur baby.

"You're tired, honey, I'll take over. Go to sleep." Bruce said softly in your ear, gently moving your hand and replacing it with his, making Rudy's tail wag slightly.

"S'your fault for being so warm and comfy and- you." You mumbled, letting your head fall against his shoulder.

"I mean, I can stop." He teased, taking his arm away from around you. You caught his wrist in a surprisingly tight grip.

"Do it and see what happens." You slurred, eyes still closed. Even in your sleepy state, you were still your feisty little self.

"Alright, I'd like to keep my arm, please." He laughed, wrapping his arm around you again, just a little tighter this time. You nuzzled closer to his side, making Rudy begrudgingly adjust his position as well.

"Are you excited for the Yule Ball?" You asked quietly, looking up at your husband as best as you could with sleep tugging at your limbs.

"I am. For the first time in a while, actually. Thanks to you." He replied with a soft smile, placing a chaste kiss on the tip of your nose. A lopsided smile crept onto your face, and you stretched your neck a bit to press a sweet kiss to his lips.

"I love you." You mumbled before finally dozing off with a smile on your face.

"I love you too, honey." Bruce whispered gently, his lips pressed to the top of your head as he sunk into the couch.

He couldn't wait for the Ball. Something he loved so dearly that was tainted for him for many years was now coming back to him brighter than ever. All thanks to you, the lovely woman he chose to marry.

He'd marry you anew every single day if he could.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The day had finally come, and you were a nervous wreck. You really didn't want to mess this up. You had big shoes to fill; Martha Wayne was loved by Gotham, and now that you held the title of Mrs. Wayne, you didn't want to disappoint anyone.

Not the people of Gotham, not Martha, but most importantly, not him. You'd been running around like a headless chicken the entire day, double checking everything so nothing could go wrong.

The decorations were being set up, and you might've snapped at a poor worker for hanging one of the garlands a little too much to the right. You were stressed out of your mind, regretting ever suggesting this. Right now, you were checking if all the sheets of Gingerbread had arrived and if all the decorations were set up.

The gentle touch of Bruce's hand on your shoulder snapped you out of the frenzy in your head. He guided you to a quiet corner with a hand on the small of your back.

"Bruce, I have to get back to-"

He interrupted you with a firm kiss, cupping your cheeks.

"No. You're completely stressing yourself out, and we can't have that. I'll take care of everything. And now you need to take care of yourself. Take a bath, get ready, do whatever you need to do. Please, calm down. Everything will be perfect, I promise." He said it so softly you could feel all the anxiety and stress fall away.

You let out a deep breath as you leaned into his touch.

"Okay. Thank you." You sighed with a small smile.

"Good. You know very well that tiring you out is my job." He said lowly with a glint in his eyes. You huffed and playfully hit his arm.

"Go check on the sprinkles."

"Yes, Ma'am."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You did as he said, you took a bath to ease the tension in your muscles that had been building up throughout the day.

Now, you were sitting at your vanity, adding some final touches to your make-up. The guest would arrive soon, and you were glad the excitement took over the anxiety.

Bruce walked into your shared bedroom, fixing his cuffs.

"Are you almost ready?" He asked, not looking at you, still fiddling with his suit. You responded with a small 'Mhm!' and walked over to him, brushing some wrinkles out of your gown. When he did look at you, he visibly stopped in his tracks.

You were wearing a green velvet gown with lace accents, and he was completely enarmoured. When his gaze trailed upwards, he caught sight of his mothers necklace sitting around your neck. If you weren't already married, he'd would've proposed right now.

"You look stunning." He breathed out, hie pupils dilated. You chuckled softly, brushing your hand over the lapel of his jacket.

"Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself." You teased, earning a small smirk from him. His hands settled in your waist. Bruce hastily pulled you in for a passionate kiss.

The air was knocked from your lungs as his lips moved so perfectly against yours. You melted into his touch but caught yourself before you'd do something that'd make you two very late.

"Alright," you breathed heavily, steadying your hands on his chest, "that's enough, Lover boy. We have a Ball to host."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

All the guests had arrived and Bruce stepped into the center of the room, beginning his welcoming speech.

"Welcome, Everyone, I'm very glad you could join us here today for the annual Wayne Yule Ball. This is a tradition that my parents started that I wish to keep on as long as I can."

"This year will be a little different. Courtesy of my lovely wife, Mrs. Wayne," he looked in your direction and reached out his hand for you to take with a gentle smile, which you did without hesitation,"there will be a gingerbread house contest. I see you've brought your little ones and I hope that this will be a pleasant and memorable evening for us all." He ended his speech with a soft smile.

"Feel free to take as much times as you desire. Everything you need is provided, so all you need now is your imagination and creativity." You spoke up.

"Your delicious creations will be judged and the winner gets a nice reward. I hope you have a lovely time and a Merry Christmas!"

There was a small round of applause before old and young scrambled towards the tables decked with gingerbread, sprinkles and icing, to begin their gingerbread builds. You participated too, you'd teamed up with Selina, who had been nursing a flute of champagne until now.

Bruce and Lucius decided to indulge as well, already planning out their engineered masterpiece.

"Let's show 'em our claws." Selina smiled slyly. The lights made her dark blue dress embroidered with sparkling stars stand out. She looked very good this evening.

And Bruce might've paid for that dress... unknowingly.

"You got it, kitty." You replied with a smirk.

You were going the classic route. It would be a house, but more of a whimsical cottage type. Vines if icing were woven around the gingerbread walls, blooming into blankets of Ivy. The roof would be decked in sweet snow and delicate sugar flowers.

Selina couldn't help but add a tiny cat hidden at the back of the house. The atmosphere was delightful, laughter and chatter whisked through the room accompanied by the tunes of Christmas songs.

The decorations that adorned the walls and ceilings of the Manor dipped the room in a warm glow. You decided to glance over at Bruce and Lucius, to see what they'd come up with. When your gaze met their creation the piping bag of icing slipped from your hands and your jaw slacked.

"They built the goddamn batmobile." You said in disbelief, making your partner perk up.

She scoffed and went back to, now aggressively, pushing small sugar decorations into the icing.

"Show offs." Selina grumbled.

Bruce noticed your staring and shot you a toothy grin.

"A sweet ride, don't you think?"

You groaned at his terrible joke and shook your head.

"Unbelievable." You muttered, going back to perfecting your little house.

The chattered had died down as the judging began. Everyone watched in anticipation as Alfred made his way through room, inspecting each Gingerbread sculpture carefully. He made some small comments here and there, mainly on the ones the children had made.

In the end, a little girl and her sister won- they'd built, or at least tried to, a castle. Alfred thought it was very charming, and it reminded him of home, so naturally, he picked them as winners. They were overjoyed, jumping around excitedly, gushing it about it to their parents.

The girls earned a round of applause, and an arm slipped around your waist.

"A shame we didn't win." Bruce sighed playfully.

"I can't believe you built the batmobile. I expected a lot, but not that." You laughed, the lights reflecting off of you perfectly. Or at least that's what Bruce thought.

"But it was fun, don't you think? Thank you, again, for agreeing." You said softly. Bruce smiled at you, and gentle squeezed at your side.

"Anything for you. I can't wait to see what you come up with next year." He kissed your cheek, pulling you closer as you watched the joy and holiday cheer fill the room.

He truly couldn't wait for next year, to deck the halls with you by his side.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

It didn't turn out as Christmas-y as I wanted it to, but I hope you enjoyed reading it nonetheless! <3

#bumblebeesfromvenus #FI'S CHRISTMAS MARKET ☆#bale!bruce x reader #bale!bruce wayne #bale!bruce wayne x reader #bale!batman x reader #christian bale #bruce wayne x reader #batman x reader

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amomentsescape · 3 months

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Thank you for replying to my question! In that case could I request a Bruce Wayne imagine. One where the reader graduated college, bought a car & is now working a lot at her job. She’s been a bit stressed bec she hasn’t taken a break. Bruce surprises her at her job once her shift ends to take her on a date. & her coworkers & friends start teasing her. Basically Bruce wants her to destress and have fun. Then he expresses how proud he is of her. Just him being a supportive and loving boyfriend.

Also if you could throw in the reader’s friends asking if Bruce bought the car & if she’s gonna quit working bec he’s rich. But she says no to both bec she wants to make her own money & work hard. (Bruce ends up hearing this & it just confirms to him how she loves him for himself and not the money)

Sorry if it’s long lol!

More Than Riches

Gotham! Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary: Even with Bruce as their partner, Reader still aims to do what they want with their life and love Bruce earnestly at the same time.

Warnings: Overall fluff with maybe one or two bad words

Word Count: 849

A/N: Thank you so much! Based on your request, I wrote it as more of a drabble since my version of an imagine usually only comes with about a paragraph of writing like this. But if you'd like a condensed version that's made into an imagine, let me know!

The past few months have become all blurred together in your mind. To be honest, you were certain that you've spent more time at work than you have at your own home.

Adulthood wasn't quite what you had expected it to be. Graduating college and jumping straight into the workforce seemed like everyone's ideal, but this meant that you hadn't gotten an opportunity to take a breather.

But you supposed this is what you signed up for. A car loan wasn't going to pay itself. But even then, there was something fulfilling about what you did. Being able to be independent on your own terms gave you a sense of security you never knew you desired.

With that being said, you still wished you had a little more time for yourself and your boyfriend.

The thought of him almost made you a little emotional. You two haven't had much quality time together recently and yet, Bruce had been nothing but supportive towards your ambitions.

He told you time and time again that if you ever needed help with anything, all you had to do was ask. It truly felt nice to have someone on your team for a change.

You looked up at the time and realized that your shift was finally over.

You sighed and wandered back to clock out and grab your things when you heard hushed whispers and giggles.

Your coworkers were all huddled together, talking to each other like they were sharing a secret.

"I can't believe- oh! (Y/N), get over here! The Bruce Wayne just walked in. I can't believe it!"

Your eyebrows furrowed together. "I thought I was supposed to see him tomorrow..." you said under your breath.

When you looked up, all eyes were on you.

"You know him?" one of your coworkers asked eagerly.

You gulped. "Well, yeah. He's my boyfriend..."

You suddenly felt hot.

Your coworkers were absolutely stunned at this.

"You're kidding. You're in a relationship with the city's rich boy?!"

You just nodded, not sure how to respond.

"Oh my God. Then why the hell are you working here? He could literally pay all of your bills and then some! I bet your car is already paid off because of him, huh?" they giggled.

You almost wanted to roll your eyes at this. You were your own person. You didn't need saving, and you didn't need the man you love paying for everything that you could have earned yourself. It just didn't feel right to you, but to each their own you supposed.

"I'm actually paying off the car myself. And why would I not want to work? I enjoy putting in this effort to support myself and see the impact I'm making. He can do what he wants with his money, and I'll do what I want with mine. Now, if you excuse me, I am going to clock out."

With that, you grabbed your bag and jacket and walked over to the entrance, finally seeing that familiar face you love so much.

The moment he caught sight of you, his eyes lit up, a soft smile spreading across his lips.

"There you are. I was starting to wonder if I came at a bad time."

He leaned down and gave you a gentle kiss on the cheek, taking your hand in his as you both exited the building.

"I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting you today," you answered honestly.

His smile widened. "I wanted to surprise you. I know things have been busy and stressful for you recently, and I was hoping a date night would alleviate some of that."

You stopped walking and looked at him, your stomach doing a couple flips.

You just kept staring at him, taking in just how perfect he was for you. He knew how to make any bad moment better in an instant. It's like he always understood what you needed even when you didn't know it yourself.

"What is it?" he chuckled nervously, a little bit shy from your gaze.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," you responded softly.

This made his cheeks go all rosy, causing your heart to speed up. He was perfect.

"I could say the same for you," he reasoned.

His hold on your hand tightened as he pulled you into him, holding your body close to his.

"I overheard what you said back there, about me."

Now it was your turn to blush.

"Yeah?" was all you could produce.

"Yeah." He placed a kiss on your forehead. "I'm so lucky to have found someone like you. You're one of the only people I know that makes me feel seen as me, not just by my last name."

Your eyes met his at this. "Bruce, I'd love you even if you were just an average person like me."

He leaned his face a little bit closer to yours.

"You're not average, (Y/N). Not to me."

He then pressed in a little further and joined his lips with yours, kissing you like it was the first time all over again.

#bruce wayne #batman #bruce wayne x reader #gotham bruce wayne #gotham fandom #gotham x reader #gotham #batman x reader

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snapscube · 4 months

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Anything you're especially proud to have accomplished this year before the new one rolls upon us?

TRUTHFULLY a lot of my accomplishments were relatively small compared to my ambitions but in the grand scheme of things add up to a lot of meaningful life improvements and successes i think. i dont know if there's like ONE BIG THING i'm especially proud of. a lot of the big stuff i WANTED to do got pretty delayed for one reason or another. but, as for small stuff:

i started an even SOMEWHAT regular exercise routine and have managed to hit the end of the year without dropping it completely, despite occasional slowdown

i got my name legally changed

though it was a bit of a bait-and-switch in terms of intentional production value, we DID technically put out an episode of SRTF this year. we even shadowdropped it, and it has received a ton of praise in spite of itself.

in terms of streams, i genuinely think this was the best year for stream quality and consistency i have ever had. with absolute banger playthroughs like Tears of the Kingdom, Spider-Man 2, Dragon Quest 8, Resident Evil 4, etc. i think i really raised the bar for myself.

and oh shit speaking of, i did my first marathon charity stream this year and raised over $10K for AHA

i made a lot of progress on my art!! made an honest effort to pick it back up and i genuinely think my work at the end of the year compared to where it was is a subtle but noticeable bump, though i did fall off a bit more than i intended.

and though i don't have MUCH to show for it right now tangibly, i have been working a lot in the back of my mind and in various documents on some Actual Fiction that i hope to be able to sink my teeth into more next year.

and yeah there's definitely a lot more small stuff in between! it's tough because i still feel so behind on a lot of stuff that i feel like should have been a lot higher priority for me, but if i'm giving myself credit it definitely puts into perspective just how Not Totally Washed i am when i start to list stuff out. which is nice to be able to do! everything in its time i suppose! im not starting 2024 with any "resolutions" or anything quite as high stakes per se but i do have a large list of goals im still gonna be working towards. i think the main thing i really want to nail down is prioritizing my time and energy towards the things that are gonna make the biggest impact on my own personal satisfaction so it becomes easier to feel like i wasn't just coasting for 12 months.

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thepastisalreadywritten · 1 month

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Prince Edward has paid tribute to his wife, Sophie, as his ‘absolute rock’ as he discussed his family life with Alan Titchmarsh during an appearance on Love Your Weekend.

The episode, which is set to air on March 10, the Duke of Edinburgh’s 60th birthday, will see the Prince sit down with the presenter and open up about his wife, the Duchess of Edinburgh, and their two children, Lady Louise, 20, and James, Earl of Wessex, 16.

Speaking of how much Sophie means to him, the Duke called his wife ‘critical, absolutely critical.’

He continued:

‘She's been an absolutely brilliant rock and I'm incredibly lucky that I found Sophie and that she found me. Hopefully, we've been a really brilliant partnership.

We're very lucky, we’ve got two, of what we would think are particularly brilliant children, who are forging such different paths for themselves. I think that's also equally fascinating.’

Elsewhere he spoke about the significance of Mothering Sunday and described what the celebration means for his own family.

Prince Edward said, ‘Always and it's doubly so when you've got your own children - your own family is very important.’

‘Those days were [important growing up], and these days are really important to remember some very, very special people in our lives.

There should be several times in the year when we make a special sort of effort and Mothering Sunday was very much one of those where you made a special effort just to say ‘thank you.’

So it goes on and that's the lovely thing about it. That's the lovely thing about families and that's what it should be.’

During the discussion, Prince Edward also revealed the lasting memories his grandchildren have of the late Prince Philip, including teaching his daughter Lady Louise to drive a carriage.

It's a hobby, which was a passion of the late Duke’s, and has since been adopted as one of Lady Louise’s.

He said, ‘It was entirely off her own bat. I mean, you know, just one day, ‘Can I go out with you and go sit on the boxes?’

He was like, ‘Absolutely.’

'He never was going to say no! He took her out with the team and I think it was only the second time, he was driving along and he said, ‘Do you want to have a go?’ and she didn’t have time to even answer the question, he just handed the reins across.’

Elsewhere in the discussion, Prince Edward spoke about how much it meant to him to be bestowed the title of Duke of Edinburgh. He said:

‘It was a huge privilege but also quite a lot of weight of expectation as well. I mean, there's an awful lot of legacy that came with that title and everything that my father had done. Especially when you're not inheriting it, this is a choice… that comes with all the expectations that people have.

It's just the weirdest and strangest feeling. You walk into a room and, particularly still today, there are name places on a card and I still look around going ‘Yes, but where am I sitting?’

Explaining how he would describe his father Prince Philip, The Duke called him an ‘extraordinary mind’, adding:

‘He was the Prince Albert of our age. He had an extraordinary mind. He loved design, he loved innovation, he was brilliant with all sorts of people.

Sometimes it didn't necessarily come across that way, but he was actually brilliant with people. He was always, always encouraging everybody. You sort of needed to get to know him.’

The interview comes after Sophie gave her own touching tribute to Edward during a royal engagement earlier in March.

The Duchess gave a rare, gushing tribute to her husband, calling him ‘the best of fathers and the most loving of husbands.’

Prince Edward looked deeply emotional throughout the speech, putting his hands over his face, as Sophie spoke about their love, saying, ‘I am so proud of the man he is.’

#Prince Edward #Duke of Edinburgh #Sophie Duchess of Edinburgh #Duchess of Edinburgh #Sophie Rhys Jones #Lady Louise #James Earl of Wessex #British Royal Family #Love Your Weekend #Mothering Sunday #Prince Philip

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pixiemage · 9 months

Text

I deal with ADHD on a daily basis, meaning I struggle with multiple (frustrating) things. There's one in particular that's been on my mind the most as of late: it's difficult for me to complete large tasks easily. For me, motivation, mental energy, and time are limited, and those rare moments where it all lines up so I can get shit done are often few and far between. This applies to both things I don't want to do, and things I do want to do. Even writing or cosplay construction or editing videos can become daunting tasks even though they're all fun and enjoyable hobbies of mine.

Recently, I've been trying to clean my room.

As anyone in my immediate family can tell you, this has been a big problem since I was young. My room starts clean, but then I put a few pairs of shoes by my bed, then don't have the energy to deal with the growing laundry pile, then can't find a place for the new mic stand I got for my birthday, then I start dumping jewelry on my bedside table at the end of the day when I'm tired, then - then - then. And then it builds to a disastrous tipping point and it has become this massive, incomprehensible task I have to tackle, and because my brain hates me, it's a frustrating and grueling process to even figure out where to begin.

But deadlines help (pressure helps) and I have found that working on it in the wee hours of the morning (from midnight to like 5am) is somehow a way to get my brain to focus on it. For some reason I work better then. Arguably, this isn't logical or useful every day because I need sleep and I have work, but I made MASSIVE progress two days ago by staying up way too late on a night when I finally found the drive to get shit done.

That's not really the point of this post though.

The point is that I've found that a majority of society (or maybe just the NT community in general) have a hard time seeing progress as worthwhile when completion is better.

"Did you finish your room?" "Not yet, but I dealt with that massive pile of crap on my couch! It's SO much better, and I can actually see the floor in front of my dresser now, and-" "That's not what I asked. Did you finish?" "Not yet." "The answer is no, then."

It doesn't matter how much I've done. It doesn't matter how proud I am of my partial progress. It doesn't matter that I fought tooth and nail to get to the point I'm at, because unfortunately, I haven't finished it all yet, so it's not good enough.

(And I know I have a deadline, and I know we have family coming over soon, and I know that being done is the goal, but the deadline isn't here yet. Give me time. I need time.)

I think we as a society need to award and praise ourselves more for the efforts we put in, whether we reached a finish line or not. I'm not saying we shouldn't strive for completion, because at the end of the day that's often the goal of any task. But we should also let ourselves be proud of how far we have come as long as we're doing our best. I don't see that often enough. I continuously struggle to reach that finish line, but hey, I came this far today! I didn't reach Toad so he could tell me my princess was in another castle (because god knows there's always another task), but I did hit that checkpoint, and since I've been struggling through this level for as long as I have, that's still worth celebrating in some small way. It's still worth all the coins I collected and the goons I defeated to get to this point.

Don't reprimand your kids because their hard work thus far doesn't quite live up to your standards. Applaud what they've done and then help them find the right next step so they're motivated to keep going.

It takes a lot of work to save a princess. The journey has a lot more monsters than just the dragon.

#ADHD #Actual ADHD #ADHD Experience #Executive Disfunction

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posletsvet · 9 months

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On the Making of Gojo's Goals: Thoughts and Assumptions

One disclaimer which I feel I need to make before getting into this: This is my reading of the events of the JJK manga, and my reading only, no more and no less. I am not claiming that my opinions are anywhere near being correct or true to the meaning intended by the author, I'm just sharing my take on the story I'm currently deeply passionate about.

And spoiler alert, of course!

Okay, but it is actually so interesting to me to be able to trace the events all the way back to how Gojo's goals and motivations begin to take shape, gradually solidify and get put into motion. So here's how I see it.

It's discussed a lot how Geto's presence in Gojo's life provided the latter with a moral compass and an empathetic outlook on things he lacked himself, giving him a sense of direction and playing a role of somewhat guiding and grounding force for him -- even if he more often than not nonchalantly rebelled against the prospect. He could always rely on Geto's judgement, so it spared him from the bother of thinking about what's righteous and what is not and instead gave him space to enjoy his youth and be careless, relishing this breath of fresh air which his friendship with Geto became. And for quite a while, I imagine, they were both content with how things were. Their warm spring of youth, you know. But when Geto left, he as well took that ideological guidance away from Satoru. From that point on, I believe, is when Gojo really takes to crafting his own ideals.

Unnecessarily lengthy discussion of how, in my view, Gojo's goals came into being below the cut!

1. The loss of the moral compass

When the events of SPVI put uncrossable distance between Satoru and Suguru, not least because of how they chose to cope with their trauma, Gojo got separated not only from his one and only closest friend, but also from somebody who, essentially, told him 'Of course, there needs to be a reason to kill people'. But at that time Gojo was driven by inertial forces, stuck in perfecting his technique and prioritised realising his potential to the fullest, because he blamed his failure on his own shortcomings as a sorcerer, as the strongest. And for the time being getting stronger, really claiming the name of the pinnacle of jujutsu for himself seemed enough. Because being the strongest would solve all the problems. Why wouldn't it? In the end, that's what his society trained him to think, preaching that might is always right. He made growing in power his goal, because he genuinely believed that is what he needed in order to prevent another failure, another Riko from happening. He seemed honestly excited and proud of his hard work while presenting his newly mastered ability to Shoko and Geto.

Look, now he's strong enough.

He's got it all covered.

Something that terrible will not happen again.

He was certain at least in this, so he moved in that direction.

Geto's defection left him without as much. I guess at least some part of why the news came as such a shock to Gojo was because it ripped that certainty away from him, made it painfully obvious that strength alone was not enough. It's cruelly ironic that, more or less by coincidence, this blow lands on him right after his cheerfully boastful announcement of the finally tamed Limitless. Because the thing is, I cannot imagine an outcome where Gojo doesn't blame himself, at least a little, for what happened to Geto. He was the one who got too far ahead, got too strong. He made a point of making himself untouchable, unreachable. (Although, in my eyes, it's not entirely true -- as Gojo was the one who actually tried to reach out to Geto. Even if he failed in this, we do see him try. On Geto's part, there was never such an effort. He didn't reach back, nor did he reach out himself. But it's a topic for a different discussion, I guess.) And, in the end, perhaps he trusted Geto and his ability to stay true to his ideals a bit too much.

2. Being the strongest alone is not an option

After Geto's spiral at least one thing was made clear: everything's that's broken in the system won't be fixed merely through sheer power. Yes, Gojo reached his destination, became the strongest, but him being strong didn't stop Geto from breaking and leaving, did not do anything to help him. If anything, it only made things worse, creating a gap between the two which deepened Geto's self-isolation (and perhaps enabled it in the first place).

When Geto leaves and Gojo's belief that simply being the strongest is going to fix everything falls short, Gojo is forced to reconsider his ideas and figure out a different solution. And that's what he comes up with: if being the strongest alone is not enough, then everyone should be the strongest. His thinking still relies heavily on the concept that power is everything in jujutsu society, but from what happened with Geto (who, in Gojo's eyes, failed to catch up with him in strength and therefore broke under the weight of his responsibilities and went down the wrong path) he derived that, basically, strength comes in numbers. The system isn't going to provide its sorcerers with necessary support, so they themselves should be able to shoulder the load without faltering. Therefore, they need to be strong like him.

And secondly, there's that:

He can only save those who are already prepared to be saved. As I see it, with this phrase Gojo comes to a conclusion that there's only so much he can do. Even if his cursed technique is called the Limitless, he can't do the impossible. He can't be his society's Atlas holding up the weight of the world (though he tries to), can't blame himself for every loss and tragedy, so he's consciously narrowing the list of things he holds himself responsible for. Now, allow me to put a pin in this thought, I will get back to it shortly.

3. No support in the system

The next stepping stone in Gojo's journey to forming his final goals is taking Megumi (and Tsumiki) under his care. It's after this decision of his, I believe, he becomes determined to become a teacher and educate the youth. And it also somewhat ties to the 'saving only those who are prepared to be saved' bit.

For me to elaborate on this, let's take a few steps back. Throughout both seasons, but the second one especially, the story goes to great lengths to show how alone young sorcerers in fact are in their duties. Students are basically left to their own devices from the very moment they enroll into Jujutsu High, and the stakes are as high as they get, with the obligation to carry out missions more often than not putting them into life-and-death situations. And Geto and Gojo being considered the strongest sorcerers of their generation is still no proper excuse for delegating responsibility for the thing that their whole society relies upon to them. They were still literal teenagers who had not even finished their education as sorcerers at that point. They were sixteen and held responsible for somebody's life and well-being, with it constantly being threatened by members of two exceptionally dangerous organisations -- not to mention the whole price-on-Amanai's-head business. And all the while we get no notion of any teacher, any adult in charge and authority over them, bothering to check in on their progress with the mission whatsoever. And what about their emotional state, what about the severely traumatic -- nearly fatal -- experience they both endured? Did anybody make sure they went into, I don't know, therapy, like they should have? Were they provided with at least some extra emotional support from their mentors? I would gamble the chances of this actually happening are little to none. Almost like the system adopts this 'don't care' attitude merely because there is no point in tending to emotional well-being of somebody who they already view as disposable.

That being the case, it comes as no surprise that Geto did not know how to give voice to everything that was troubling him, did not know how to reach out for help when he found himself drowning in doubts. The system does not give the youth any room to develop healthy coping mechanisms, does not provide its sorcerers with any support in case they find themselves struggling mentally. No one is ever there to give Geto and Gojo or Nanami or even Shoko comfort, advice and guidance they all needed. Thus they just don't know how to apply for help -- because they are simply not used to, not taught how to. To circle back to my previous thoughts, the system does not prepare young sorcerers to be saved. The end result is inevitably trying to reach out to somebody struggling without that person ever reaching back or even recognising there is a need for them to do so in order to get help.

Gojo starts to break this pattern by taking in a child with no support system. And while no, I'm not saying Gojo was anywhere near equipped to play the role of that system to Megumi at that time, this decision on his part still counts as a step forward, even if a baby one (no pun intended).

4. Educating the youth

So, after taking it upon himself to help take care of two children, Gojo eventually drives to the conclusion that making sure that the younger generation in jujutsu society gets necessary support is indeed in order.

And I think there's somewhat a relation to be found between the role Gojo plays in Megumi's life and the way he delivers on his responsibilities as a teacher. Although Gojo oversees Megumi and Tsumiki's upbringing, he does so not as a parental figure, but rather as a mentor and a benefactor who ensures their well-being. The same may be applied to how he treats his students. He does not offer them emotional support himself, he isn't even by any measure the one who ties them together as a group, but he does in fact bring them together and does actively try to create the environment where they can bond and become each other's support system. Gojo's flawed personality is something even he himself admits to have, so he isn't necessarily the best man for the job when it comes to handling children's emotions. But he still, for instance, recognises that Yuuji has high emotional needs, so he brings him to Nanami -- an adult who is actually equipped to take care of his mental health. One other example of this is how, when the Goodwill Event fails in its purpose as an 'opportunity for the students to get to know each other in the spirit of competition', Gojo goes out of his way to instead organise a simple baseball game for them to play -- a team sport and an actual, normal as in 'non-lethal' bonding activity for teenagers.

There's an argument that Gojo too, in actuality, is not exactly always there for his students, but it's rather due to Gojo's high demand as a sorcerer than negligence or indifference on his part. In the end, Megumi does make a habit of calling Gojo when something goes downhill on a mission. And I would say it's a significant improvement in comparison with how things were back in Gojo's (and Geto's) day.

Also, that 'being a jujutsu sorcerer is an individual sport' reasoning on Gojo's part during his conversation with Megumi straight after the baseball game kind of speaks against everything I have been talking about for the last couple of paragraphs. Except that, as I personally take it, it's more indicative of the fact that Gojo, due to his inability to go beyond the bounds of power-oriented thinking, still puts too much weight on being strong as a sorcerer. Therefore here the more pressing issue for him was Megumi trudging behind and struggling to catch up with his own potential. That one thing which Geto didn't manage to do: keep up with the strongest. And Gojo does not want another Geto case.

After all, even Geto himself, the one who arguably suffered the most from the lack of concern towards young sorcerers' mental state and their detachment from literally everybody who could and probably should provide emotional support for them, somewhat gives credit to the improvements made since Satoru became a teacher.

(Whether Gojo's secret intention to push Yuuta to unlock his true potential by sending two children into the fight they couldn't win does or does not cross out the fact that he's forcing his students to stand up for each other. *coughs nervously*)

5. Conclusion

Perhaps it's somewhat inappropriate for me to go throwing around assumptions in a concluding part of this post, but I have very little experience with writing analysis and making concrete conclusions, so please bear with me for just a bit longer.

What really succeeded in striking me as odd when going through the story for the first time, is the interpretation which states that what Gojo really seeks to achieve by becoming a teacher is influencing his students and cultivating a particular mindset in them -- the one that would allow him to use them as valuable assets when it comes to overthrowing the current system. But how could that possibly be true if he doesn't even try to discuss politics with any of them, let alone force his own ideals and goals upon them? The only thing which he keeps insisting on in his students' regard and which is linked to his views is that they should be allowed to be kids, to have their youth inviolate.

While there's no doubt that Gojo wants the system to change, my guess is that he also wants to bring about this change through his students, with them truly living out his ideal, not simply parroting it at his prompting. And Gojo actually does want to raise strong and reliable comrades who can think for themselves and recognise the need for the system to change, making them into trustworthy allies -- not only to himself, but to each other, too.

His students really are all his hopes and dreams, huh?

In case everything written above seems to lack logical connections, here's the train of thought which led me through this rambling:

losing moral guidance and falling into power-oriented thinking → recognising that strength is indeed needed, but being strong alone is not enough → coming to take care of two children → decision to become a teacher → fostering the younger generation into strong allies capable of providing help for each other when needed and being each other's support system → how to do that? let kids be kids and forge strong relationships which they can rely upon

Thank you for reading through this mess of my making!! 🧡

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makeitastrength · 3 months

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You knew this was coming... what are your fave Chenford scenes? (Same deal, 1 per season, and only 1 honorable mention allowed!). Good luuuuuuck 😘

I did. I knew it was coming, and I can't even yell at you for the evil question because I'm the one who started it. Although actually, once I got started, it didn't take me that long. Somehow this one was easier than choosing my favorite episodes.

Season 1

I gotta go with the same scene you chose here, and that's the 1x20 separated-by-a-wall scene. It's intense, it's emotional, it's vulnerable, and it really illustrates how far these two have come in just six months. Despite the literal and metaphorical wall between them in this scene, it's a lot less of a barrier than it was on day one.

Honorable mention

I've always had such a soft spot for the scene in 1x13 with Tim and Lucy and the woman with the embryos. It's the way he says "But doing this? It won't put your marriage back together, okay? Nothing will. But you will come to hate yourself if you go through with this." Every time, I flash back to 1x07 and Lucy saying "I came here to remind you that you'll regret helping her. Because it's not gonna change her. But it'll sure as hell change you." And just... THE GROWTH! Look at this man learning from his own experiences and using that to talk this woman down. It's such an underrated moment and I love it so much.

Season 2

This season was SO HARD because there are SO MANY good chenford scenes. But truthfully, the end of 2x12 has always been my favorite. In just this one scene we see Lucy struggling with her recovery, we see Tim struggling to find a way to support her through her recovery, and then we see him finding the exact words she needs to hear and ultimately pulling a smile and an almost-laugh out of her despite the tears in her eyes. They're both so raw and vulnerable and I'm pretty sure this is my favorite chenford scene of all time.

Honorable mention

It was a close call here between the hospital scene in 2x11 and the ending of 2x02, but ultimately I have to go with the latter. I mean... she called Isabel to ask about his learning style??? And then she stayed up all night to record a whole ass audio book for him??? And then she helps him see it as a strength??? This man has ALWAYS been worth the effort for her and he's only just barely beginning to comprehend that.

Season 3

Season 2 was so hard to narrow down and now here I am in season 3 with the opposite problem. Not that I dislike season 3. I'm just realizing that my favorite chenford scenes aren't really in this season. I guess I gotta go with the wedding scene in 3x14 because like, excuse me you two, you are blatantly checking each other out and you are IN PUBLIC. Absolutely zero subtlety, just elevator eyes and sass and so much flirting.

Honorable mention

I debated between two parking garage scenes here... the end of 3x01 and the end of 3x09. Ultimately I'm going with the end of 3x01, because we all know Tim will go above and beyond his job description to help her and protect her, even if he refuses to take credit for it. And this scene really just shows that she's always been worth the effort for him as well.

Season 4

Probably to no one's surprise, it's the hug in 4x09. Hands down. The vulnerability on display here breaks my heart every time. It's the first time we see Tim really, truly allowing himself to fall apart. I will never be over the way he just sinks into her and lets her hold him together. This is my favorite of their hugs, and seeing the tears in Tim's eyes brings tears to my eyes every single time.

Honorable mention

I waffled back and forth for quite a while between the hug in 4x01 and the kiss in 4x22, but ultimately I had to go with the kiss because it's just such a great scene for so many reasons. I mean, THE KISS, obviously. But also, the awkwardness beforehand, and Tim being so adorably proud of himself, and the absolute disaster they both are in the aftermath. Tim's flustered "You know what? I don't have anything," is one of his best lines ever. And don't even get me started on him standing in the hallway as all the feelings slam into him at once. SO. GOOD.

Season 5

Picking right up from that honorable mention, I gotta go with the hand hold/airplane kiss scene from 5x01 as my favorite (and yes, I'm counting that all as one scene because it's continuous even though I'm sure it was filmed separately). From Tim "if your head isn't 100% in the game it'll get you killed" Bradford reaching up to grab her hand in a way that is definitely breaking character to their completely unnecessary (and very hot) airplane bathroom kiss that I have watched on repeat approximately 12984367 times. These two protect and ground each other in a way no one else can, no matter the situation.

Honorable mention

I... don't know. There are so many. I'm honestly so torn between the scenes in 5x19, 5x20, and 5x21 because there's so much emotion. Clearly I have a thing for moments of vulnerability, and we see those in spades here with Tim's shooting, and then the fear after the shoutout in 5x21 and the complex emotions associated with Lucy working undercover. 5x20 and 5x21 especially are really just digging up so much of Tim's trauma and I think it's pretty clear this is something they're both afraid to face head on. That's not really an answer. Can we count that as an answer?

Actually no, now that I've looked through the gifs I have a real answer. It's the end of 5x21. There's something just so human about Tim searching for meaning in what he went through with Isabel. And the way he hugs her with his hand on her neck gets me every time.

#asked and answered #favorite scenes #chenford #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie

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thatlittleegyptologist · 1 year

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i'm so… tired of the "england steals everything to shove in their museums" jokes. at first they were kinda funny (in the same way that a couple of the 'no homo history' jokes have managed to produce a half chuckle from me), but now it's just such a kneejerk, self-satisifed, smug joke that i'm just uuuuguhhhhhhh. yes, the english took stuff they shouldn't. yes, there is stuff that should be returned. no, it is not as easy as saying "just put it back" and sitting back and feeling proud of yourself and counting that as your one good deed for the day. no, england is not the only country to have taken stuff they shouldn't, please stop placing the entire onus of imperialism and colonialism just on england because you're erasing important parts of history whenever you do.

you guys are a lot more patient than i am, i would've started rage screaming and never stopped long before now if i had to deal with the stuff you guys get on the regular!

Yeah it's...grating. Some of them are quite funny, but being in this field and dealing with museums pretty regularly means you see a lot of them. Mostly because people send them to you and you have to be like 'ohhh funny' for the 10,000th time. At this point, they're relegated to the Pharaoh Rocher and Indiana Jones jokes. Funny the first time, but tired every time after that. It doesn't help. It's not activism. It's mostly just noise directed in the wrong place and not to everyone it should be directed at. There's so much focus on British colonialism (and we did A Lot of it), that it's allowing the colonialism of other countries past and present to just slip by in the background. I'm pretty sure it's because a lot of sources for those are not in English, so it's easier to just yell at the one thing that's in your own language without effort, but I digress. Dealing with this topic requires looking at every single participant and addressing the systemic issue, be it laws or stubbornness, rather than all the attention on just one. It's like dropping a plate of food on the floor and then only caring that the plate is broken. The plate is broken, and that's bad, but there's a fucking mess underneath that also needs cleaning up otherwise it's going to fester.

Almost no one in the field these days is saying 'oh yeah the British didn't steal shit', unless you're a Tory MP in Westminster. We all know the British stole shit. It's very well documented. Which brings to mind a series of events that happened recently:

A couple of years ago Westminster, in response to people talking about repatriation of things in the BM: Hey so this is up to the BM to decide. We, despite being the arbiters of the collection and having the power to overturn the law that prevents it, have no part in it so all the bad stuff is on the Museum and solely the Museum. BM: Ok, so we'll start work on that December 2022/January 2023 Papers: Deal between the BM and the Greek authorities to give back the marbles very close to completion Tory Culture Secretary: Oh yeah that law we need to repeal to allow these things to go back? LMAO NO. Never going to happen. It was never your choice to give them back. Literally everyone: BITCH THE FUCK?

I was fucking furious when I saw the Culture Secretary had said that. People are going to blame the museum, as they keep doing, rather than the government who refuses to change the BM63 act to actually allow things to happen. The government are happy people keep making memes about the BM stealing shit, because it keeps the attention and ire on the museum and not the government's shitty behaviour. It's literally playing into their hands.

Museum collections are very complicated. Artefacts have arrived there in all sorts of ways. Some legal. Some not. Some we don't even know how they got there because no one recorded it. Simply saying 'everything is stolen, it all must go back' belies a lack of understanding of these complexities, and an unwillingness to engage with the subject beyond 'I have made a statement based on limited understanding. I am right. You are wrong. If you challenge this you're the Worst'.

The last time I tried to tell people how museum collections form, without making a value judgement just simply saying 'this is how things get here', I got a lot of accusations from people like 'you love and defend colonialism' (fuck off, no), or 'you hate the idea of repatriation' (also no). I only wanted to show that museum collections are not 'all stolen' and the 'give it all back' crowd need to understand the difference between 'legally acquired object that the country it comes from does not want back' and 'illegally acquired object that the country of origin does want back', because, y'know, they don't want it all back just certain things. I found, however, that instead of engaging with the issue and the complexities that come along with it they'd rather not listen to those and be impotently angry through memes.

So, yeah, I'm sort of done hearing those 'jokes' and also done trying to talk about a subject with numerous complexities because people don't want to listen when something is harder than 'do this now'.

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nightqueen1221 · 2 years

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i know you hate the phantom troupe and stuff so im requesting phantom troupe general headcanons 😋

...😑🖕

Please watch all of York New City Arc before reading. Also please send in requests, I have none.

0 Chrollo Lucifer:

- Look, I may hate this man with a passion.

-But he's honestly a gentleman.

-...Who commits mass genocide.

-...

-He'll pick you up over puddles or if something sharp is on the ground.

-He kisses your hand when every he sees you after a while.

-He loves to talk with you.

-He could spend hours hearing you talk about your day.

-Rather than hugging or giving gifts (tho he wouldn't mond doing that.)

-His most preferred way of affection is quality time or words of affirmation.

-Seeing you laugh or smile makes his day a million times better.

-Not even that, he can just sometimes look over and smile.

-He likes to have his hand on your shoulder or holding your hand while walking.

-This might be weird, but he likes to watch you sleep.

-More of just the way you look relaxed.

-He like to do your hair as well.

-Even just brushing it he finds it very calming.

-He more or less wants someone who is calming to him.

1 NobunagaHazama

-You were of course one of the few people how actually comfort him after Uvo's death.

-He is pretty calm in general, but he opens up a bit more when its around you

-He tends to keep more to himself unless something interferes.

-He likes cuddling you and just holding you close to him in general.

-He'll usually cuddle with you to sleep.

-He actually really likes forehead kisses, giving or receiving.

-His headcannons are short because I don't really remember him a whole lot.

2 Fetain Portor

-Since of his poor grammar and ways of speaking, you sometimes have to tell people what he's saying.

-Of course the troupe knows what he's say.

-He likes to get you gifts from time to time.

-Sometimes it something normal like, flowers, chocolate, or just something nice.

-Other times it's something that doesn't really make sense.

-But none the less, it's the thought that counts.

-He's still quite regardless if you two are dating or not.

-That part of him really doesn't change.

-He prefers affection shown in a physical way rather than a mental or emotional way.

-If you're near someone he doesn't like you have two choices.

- 1. He kills them.

- 2. He pulls you close to him by the waist. (It's probably the only thing he can reach to pull you in.😂)

-The only reason he wouldn't kill them is if it could jeopardize a mission or something else important.

-He'll also tease you quite a bit.

-....Girly girl

4 Machi Komacine

-She just happy by looking at you.

-and sometimes if you're lucky, you can see her smile, just a bit.

-She's more or less a INCREADIABLY protective tsundere.

-Not saying she won't say that she's with you.

-but she doesn't want to admit that she still has a crush on you.

-She thinks it's childish to have a crush.

-Like, she still gets butterflies when she thinks or looks at you.

-She tries laughing more at your jokes.

-She just puts more of her effort into you.

5 PhinksMagcub

-He likes to wear Egyptian clothes so he'll want to match with you and make you look like a prince or a princess.

-Sometimes, when he's proud of you he'll ruffle your hair.

-F o r e h e a d k i s s e s

-He like to pick you up and hold you in the air.

-He thinks it's romantic.

-He prefers speaking rather than anything as his way of love and affection.

-He's also a bit of a gentleman.

-Opening doors for you...

-Maybe grabbing something you can reach...

-He'll do something you can't since it's...

-1. It's nice

-2.He cares for you more than anyone in the world.

-(I don't care for any of the phantom troupe so I am kinda half hearted to writing them I'm sorry.)

6 Shalnark

-He prefers cuddling or touching over anything.

-he realty doesn't how he needs to but he will hug you.

-sitting on the couch watching a movie?

-cuddles.

-going to bed after a long day?

-cuddles.

-You think you can escape him?

-no, M O R E C U D D L E S.

-...

-He may have a problem.

-(I don't like this dude either...)

8 ShizukuMurazaki

-She likes to see you wear her glasses if you don't have any. (Or if she can even see.)

-She is somewhat clueless to a relationship.

-She has a basic understanding of what to do and how to do it.

-Yet she just just doesn't a lot.

-She likes to spend her free time with you.

-She really likes to just sit and listen to you talk.

-She isn't the biggest cuddler or really big on touching in general.

-None the less, she is REALLY into kisses.

-forehead, hand, shoulder, neck

-Anywhere is game.

9 Pakunoda

-(I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE FOR HERRRR!!!!!)

-Like Shizuku, she is big on kissing.

-She has pretty decent experience with dating.

-But she'll need more help than most of the people on this list.

-Her way of affection is gifts.

-She like to tell you little jokes from time to time or puns.

-After telling you the punchline she'll elbow you softly in your arm.

-And the jokes are so cheesey.

11 Illumi Zoldyck

-Illumi is the only member of the Phantom Troupe, or even just antagonists I like.

-Illumi is pretty emotionless so it's a miracle you two even got together in the first place.

-He is trying to learn more ways to be affectionate towards you.

-I mean this is his first time being in a relationship.

-He more or less hugs you from behind but it's really creepy since he's a assassin meaning he's completely silent.

-He'll never say it, ( mostly because he doesn't know it ) but he really likes to hold you close to him.

-He doesn't kiss you, basicly at all

-If he's leaving for a long mission, MAYBE, just MAYBE, you'll get a kiss on the cheek.

-He likes to hold you into his chest while his hands are wrapped around your head gently.

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summmeister · 4 months

Text

A Look Over the Art I Made in 2023

2023 has come and gone, with a sizeable improvement on my art skills. Once again, I am VERY proud of the work I managed to accomplish this year. I'll be going over some of the highlights month by month in this post, being sure to point out anything of note.

JANUARY

Starting off the year, I made some new artwork of Skweeb! I consider this fairly outdated now, but it did start a few trends with the character, mainly how I draw shine on him. His eyes bulge outwards, they're not holes! I also drew @akfamilyhome's character, Leddy.

FEBRUARY

This was a BIG month for me! I tried a lot of new things, and most of them worked out! This month also contains what I consider to be one of my best drawings this year, a celebration of Hollow Knight's 6th anniversary. Other highlights include a dashing tribute to Dangeresque and an entirely new reference sheet for Skweeb!

MARCH

March was not a particularly noteworthy month. These are the only two drawings from it! That said, I am quite happy getting any drawings out this month at all! As you'll see later on, this wasn't actually my most dry month.

APRIL

A VERY full month! I can't even fit everything I wanted to! Lots of Skweeb here, some Lucy too! Also a fitting send-off to Courtney (very sad Dead End got cancelled). Tried some big things here, like with the parody Album art, but for the most part I was just doing what I was good at: simple character full-bodies.

MAY

VERY dry month for art. This is the only piece from May! I participated in @some-fool-fp's aRtPG collab this month. Skweeb joins the party!!!!! Made my own custom logo for him, too.

I had a LOT of college work this month. I was working on a game!!! I got the highest grade possible on it, very proud of that. If you would like to play it, you can do so here. Just a warning though, it's very short and VERY jank at times.

JUNE

Another big month!! Some proper reference of Winslow, another Jevil drawing, and my FAVORITE piece of Skweeb art to date!!! The pose and the shading is just so good on it, I love it.

JULY

...Well this is awkward.

Art Fight was this month, and with all of my effort going towards that, I kinda... didn't draw any of my own art this month. Whoops.

Let's press fast forward, shall we?

AUGUST

A NEW OC WAS CREATED THIS MONTH!!!! Meet Chao. He helps out at the circus. He babby. I put a TON of effort into getting his design just right and ensuring he had the proper referencing before working on anything else. I love this 'lil guy.

Also some of my favorite art from this year!!! Inspired by Lemon Demon's "One Weird Tip", I made some art that takes place on a ficticous desktop! Getting the shapes and text right was hard, but I am so glad I put the time and effort in.

SEPTEMBER

Always Watching.

WOW, I am so so proud of what I accomplished with this CoTL piece. Everything from the pose to the composition and the use of colour is just PERFECT. This is up there in my favourite pieces of art from this year.

Skweeb and Jack Frost are here too... wait, it's not December yet!

OCTOBER

A certain someone turned 2 this month! My baby boy, now 2 years old... how time flies...

It was halloween this month too... but Skweeb isn't dressing up this year. It's Lucy in his place! Got some nice Jax art here too, I love that asshole.

NOVEMBER

I was never the most content with my previous Jevil artwork. I never felt like I was giving it my all, which is why I'm happy to say that this month, I did!

I also took a second shot at drawing Jax; this time, featuring Pomni! I used thinner lines and taught myself how to draw hands a whole lot better, I think it helped, haha.

Lastly, (part of) my piece for @hillelart's 10th Anniversary FNAF collab! The full thing is staying secret for now. Keep an eye out for January 15th!

DECEMBER

Finally, we arrive at December.

Funnily enough, I didn't actually draw for half the month. But when I got back into it, I got BACK in. I'm very proud of both of these pieces, and the shading and blending I used in them! This certainly feels like a new era of my art, and I'm looking forward to continuing it!

And that's it. You made it to the end! Most people just together a simple image for their art recap, and while that certainly works just fine, I like to go into the nitty gritty, write down my entire year in art, y'know?

I'm not sure if this year contains as much progress as 2022, but it certainly contains a BOATLOAD of progress! Look back at the start of the post and compare it to the end of the post, the difference is insane!

Lastly, I've got just one more thing to show, once again, redrawing my first ever piece to mark off yet another year. I hope you like it, you'll only have to wait another 365 days for the next one!

Bring on 2024!

#digital art #digital illustration #summs-art #art #artists on tumblr #artwork #digital artist #original character #skweeb #summs-thoughts #cult of the lamb #the amazing digital circus #five nights at freddy's security breach #jevil #lemon demon #clown oc #sam and max #hollow knight

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neeterloveschenford · 17 days

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More Thoughts on Tim Bradford

Woo boy! Are we going through it right now fam! I know that there has been a lot of discourse and negativity about Tim breaking up with Lucy last night. And while I truly believe that everyone's thoughts and feelings are valid, I'd like to put mine out there into the void on why I'm going to stand by both my boos even if I feel like the rug got pulled out from under me last night. So here we go......

The thing is, I get where Tim is coming from. Real talk here, my late teens and early twenties I was a mess. While I never went through what Tim went through when he was in the military, I understand that self-loathing he has struggled with for so long. I came from an abusive and neglectful family and still bear those emotional scars. I acted out and rebelled and did things I am not proud of. My family ended up intervening and my aunt and uncle took me to Arkansas to live with them. And then spent over a decade reminding me at every turn how big of a screw up I was. I remember thinking that I would never become a better person and that I was tainted for the rest of my life. Several years after I moved there I decided I wanted to get involved with the girl's ministry at my church and went to my pastor. I told him that despite all of the missteps I had made in the past, I wanted to become more involved with the program and hoped that he could look past the things I had done. My pastor was floored that I thought those things about me. He had actually been thinking about asking me if I was willing to become the director of the program. I had never had anyone make me feel like I was a good person before. It was life-changing. I began to believe that maybe I wasn't an epic failure. I ran that program for two years and during that time I re-connected with my family in Oklahoma. My mother and I had never had a real relationship and after we re-connected she told me she was proud of me. I eventually moved back home and now am quite happy with my life. But it took a really long time and a lot of self-reflection before I got to this point. And honestly I still have my days where I just feel like I'm still that messed up girl. But I have a support system with my mom, my step-dad, and my sisters that reminds me that I am worth it and that I am loved.

So I totally get where Tim is coming from. I don't know how many romantic relationships and friendships I tanked because I thought the other person was too good for me. Tim hates himself for putting his pride in his career first. He believes that his men died because of him. Because he wanted to protect his career and his reputation as a leader. He feels like Lucy is this good and honest person who would never put anyone else at risk to further something as small as a career. I mean she put her own career at risk just to help his. He thinks that her love for him will be her undoing because Tim doesn't believe he is worth the effort. God, it's breaking my heart just thinking about it. Of course, he's wrong. Lucy loves him so much that I think this will almost break her. But he has to realize his own value and worth. He will never get there unless he pushes forward and realizes how much the people in his life love and respect him.

And Lucy's not wrong to be angry at him. He is supposed to be her partner and he is, once again, making all the big decisions in the relationship. He decided that he's not what she needs in her life. While we have seen time after time that he is all that she needs. Tim needs to realize that Lucy's love is different from every other person that has ever loved him. It's unconditional. She doesn't care about his past mistakes. She loves him no matter what and believes he is the best man she knows. I know that one day he's going to have that ah ha moment like I did and see that his past doesn't define his future and he doesn't have to pay for his mistakes for the rest of his life.

Tim also reminds me of two of my all-time favorite characters from the last two fandoms I participated in on Tumblr. Oliver Queen from Arrow and Michael Guerin from Roswell New Mexico. They were both extremely flawed men that finally realized that they deserved their happily ever afters with the loves of their lives. But the people they loved helped them realize just how precious their lives really were. And guess what? Both Oliver and Felicity and Michael and Alex broke up. But they found their way back to each other and got their happily ever afters. So don't give up the faith my friends. Chenford is going to find their way back to each other. I refuse to believe they are any thing other than endgame.

#chenford #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #olicity #malex #i love them your honor #it's only my opinion

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ragnarokhound · 24 days

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30, 31, 36 for the writing ask game pls!

(also adore your ask box line shsjjdjdjf)

:D thank you for the asks! (And hehehe thank you, when I did my avatar rebrand I thought it was time to update that too)

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

Ohhh man, haha, this fic has actually been on my mind a lot today, I've explained it to three separate people lmao.

So okay, I have this old WIP from last year. It was going to be the next fic I wrote after my first Jaytim fic, I was going to write it on PURPOSE with a PLOT and PINING and EVERYTHING. The WORKS. It was my first attempt at writing Jason's voice too - he's the POV character - and instead I wrote Hurt/Comfort lmao. This fic was heavily inspired by listening to "This Losing" by the Airborne Toxic Event on repeat during February of 2023, and was going to feature a friends with benefits situationship that quickly spirals into Real Feelings that Jason is having trouble grappling with because he's afraid of scaring Tim with how intensely jealous/possessive he gets. With how much he loves him :')

Eventually I'll write it... someday...

31. What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?

Oh, Hurt/Comfort for sure. That fic was SO nerve-wracking because uhhhhh I'd never written BDSM before! Not really! Not a full on, planned out scene! And on top of that, Hurt/Comfort is experimental with it's choose-your-own-adventure style two endings, so once I was done with writing Hurt I had Comfort to write as well, lmao. I'm pleased with it, but in retrospect, imo it's pretty vanilla for what it is (this may be relative lol), and I feel like I've improved as a writer since posting it :)

(I really enjoy writing panic attacks and bad mental spaces tho, and I still really like the small moment in the bathtub when Tim is sucked into his short flashback uwu sorry Tim, but I had to do it to em)

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?

In the grand tradition of fic authors everywhere, most of my fic titles are song lyrics or other quotes o7 Usually they're taken from the song I'm listening to the most while writing the fic, and usually I use the lyric I feel best captures either the vibe or a specific beat in the story.

That being said, Sit, Stay, Speak is probably my favorite original title, because it's out of context spoilers for the story as well as a funny dog pun :D Jason is going to sit in Tim's apartment, stay put, and speak to Tim without realizing it; and Tim is going to speak to Jason without actually speaking. His apartment, his life does the talking for him - and Jason hears it. I am genuinely quite proud of Sit, Stay, Speak, every aspect of it was agonized over, but it was worth the effort.

#thank you for the asks! this was fun #ladytauria #ask game #writing #asked and answered

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thecurioustale · 3 months

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Two questions:

1. You’ve mentioned before that you write on a very, very old laptop called Joshiba. Do you have your ATH and GF drafts backed up somewhere in case it dies? 2. Out of everything you’ve ever written, what’s your favorite sentence?

1. You’ve mentioned before that you write on a very, very old laptop called Joshiba. Do you have your ATH and GF drafts backed up somewhere in case it dies?

Oh yes. Data loss is one of my least favorite things. Losing some fanfic files on the family computer as a kid cemented that aversion into me. And yet I have lost data many times since then, most notably in 2010 when my laptop Archimedes died out of nowhere, which killed most of my music compositions from one of my most important periods.

I'm quite paranoid about data loss. These days I will typically make a backup every three or four months (or less if I have done a lot of writing or otherwise feel the need to back something up sooner), and I have more than one independent backup device.

I actually got a warning just this morning on my main computer about an impending hard drive failure, so I did a full backup of that one and ordered a replacement drive.

2. Out of everything you’ve ever written, what’s your favorite sentence?

That's a deliciously provocative question, and there are so many different ways I could tackle it.

It would very likely be a fiction sentence, as I both care about my fiction more and put more effort into editing and refining it. But I should at least mention that I've done some nonfiction sentences that I'm really proud of. I love it when I can elegantly bring a thesis together, or synthesize a truly fascinating new idea, or perfectly summarize a thing. In all cases, my great nonfiction sentences are masterpieces of insightfulness and clarity. Clarity and insightfulness are the common factors, the reason you would spend your precious time reading my often-verbose, self-indulgent ramblings.

I don't have any such sentences in mind off the top of my head, sadly, or I would happily share one. I suppose I can leave it to anyone who has been a longtime reader of my journal to volunteer any favorites they can think of.

To get on with the fiction:

I put a lot of thought into first sentences: the first sentence in an entire story; the first sentence in a chapter or section; the first sentence introducing a new character; their first sentence of dialogue. When it makes sense to do so, and when I have the opportunity, I also put a lot of thought into last sentences.

There are the "high art" sentences, the ones that attempt some feat of technical prowess or showcase my skills or artistry. These tend to be longer and/or highly stylistic.

There are the "punchy" sentences: short sentences that comprise their own paragraph to underscore a point, ideally to resounding effect.

There are sentences that I am personally biased toward for external reasons, such as ones involving Silence doing Silence stuff.

There are sentences that have deep, personal resonance for whatever reason.

There are the sentences that depart from literality and become in some way transcendental, often assuming an omniscient voice and openly musing in the company of the reader.

There are sentences that don't look like much on their own but become very powerful in context. (Not unlike the aforementioned "punchy" sentences.)

And of course there are miscellaneous sentences that I just like for whatever reason.

(It's also worth noting that, with the way I write, often the great stuff is only resolvable down to the paragraph level, not the level of individual sentences. And some of it is only resolvable down to the scene level, with no great sentences per se even if the scene itself is very strong.)

Different sentences can excel in different ways, each in turn making a compelling case to be my "favorite." I can like sentences because of some aspect of their structure—their rhythm, for instance, or their alliteration or some other literary quality, or their feel on the tongue or in the eye. Or I can like sentences because of their imagery, the contents they convey, irrespective of their structure. Or I can like them because of their meta function, their role in advancing or pulling together the story or important thoughts therein. And so on. I don't consider these various properties comparable, which makes it very difficult to conceive of one supreme sentence above all others.

Even if that weren't so, the way my memory works also makes it virtually impossible for me to select a favorite without going back and rereading all the fiction I've ever written (lol) or whatever subset thereof I think most likely to produce leading candidates for my favorite.

In lieu of this I am quite limited in what my memory is able to recall at the moment on its own. The sentence that has stuck with me the most in recent months is not especially remarkable on its own; it is one of those "Silence doing Silence stuff" sentences and it really loses a lot of its punch without the context of its paragraph and wider scene, and since it is also something of a spoiler I don't think I will post it here, but it's basically an affirmation of her power, which I love.

Since writing the previous paragraph I spent over an hour looking for a good sentence in order to give you something approaching a satisfying answer, but alack my brain was not plugged into creative writing mode at all today and so I have found this a most unapproachable, inapprehensible exercise tonight. It's funny how, some days, it's like the text itself changes. There are times when I absolutely love this stuff, and times when I just don't connect with it at all, and sadly today is one of the latter.

But perhaps if you could refine the question (and catch me on a better day)? I often find that this helps to unlock my mind, if the derivative question has some new substance which helps me to conceive of the query differently.

Anyway! I've written quite a few sentences in my life. Maybe, given my complete uselessness, it would be better to ask the people who have read some of them what they think. I'd be curious to know, myself.

I can tell you one of the leading candidates for my favorite sentences that I haven't written, however. It's from Dickens:

And Scrooge said often afterwards, that of all the blithe sounds he had ever heard, those were the blithest in his ears.

For context, the preceding sentence is:

He looked so irresistibly pleasant, in a word, that three or four good-humoured fellows said, "Good morning, sir! A merry Christmas to you!"

And I suppose that says a lot about me.

#Charles Dickens #Philosophy of writing

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stargazer-sims · 7 months

Text

Journal Entry #60

Journal Entry #59 // STORY INDEX

Yuri

At the beginning of September, Victor and I moved into our forever home.

We thought we might go in the middle of the month, but I knew Victor wanted to have time to begin training with his new coach before the start of the competitive snowboarding season, and I wanted to be settled into our house in time to celebrate my birthday, so I suggested that we should arrange to go sooner. Victor seemed surprised, but he was pleased, and it made me happy to offer something he genuinely wanted without feeling like I was doing it as some sort of repayment for an imaginary debt I owe him.

That's one truth I've come to realize over the course of this year; the debt really was imaginary. Victor loves me, and he does things for me because he wants to help me and make my life easier. He never expects me to repay him deed for deed. All he wants is for me to do my best to help him whenever I can.

Sometimes my best is quite a lot, and sometimes I’m not physically capable of doing much of anything. Either way, it’s okay. Not being able to do everything all the time doesn't make me a bad person or a failure as a husband, and I'm beginning to understand that it was only my insecurity and lack of self-worth that made me believe it did.

Learning to trust myself and to believe in my own abilities and my value as a person hasn't been easy. Some days, I struggle to find even one affirming thing to say, and that's when I know I need to ask for help.

Doing that was difficult at first, because I had to get over the hurdle of thinking that asking for even the smallest thing made me a burden to Victor or my family. Releasing the guilt and shame is an ongoing process, just like teaching myself to be more positive and self-confident is, but I'm determined to succeed. I owe it to everyone I love, and I owe it to me.

When I can't come up with an affirmation, Victor always knows what to do. Rather than simply saying something good about me and asking me to accept it, he challenges me to name something I accomplished during the previous few days. It might be something big like planning and cooking an entire meal on my own, or maybe it'll be something small like folding laundry or sending an email, but there's always something. Then, he gets me to stand in front of the full-length mirror in my room and congratulate myself aloud.

Initially, that felt like an utterly silly thing to do, but Victor told me his first coach used to get his students to do it before competitions. He said the coach used to tell them to look at themselves in the washroom mirror and tell themselves things like, “I am brave and I am strong. I want to win, but even if I don’t win this time, I won't give up trying.”

Now I look forward to my little early-morning pep talks. As ridiculous as this may sound, these days it actually feels good to look myself in the eyes and say something like that, because it's not just a rote exercise any more. I am brave and I am strong, and even if today's not my day, there's always tomorrow. It's an effort to pick myself up and keep going, but I won't quit, not when I've gotten this far.

Honestly, the thing I’m most proud of lately is eating. I still don’t really love consuming most foods, but eating feels less stressful to me now, and most of the time I’m able to look at food and think about eating without becoming anxious.

I'll admit, I have moments when I wish I could go back to formula and not have to put anything in my mouth. I still have my tube, and fresh formula is only as far away as the pharmacy, so the temptation is certainly there. When I feel like that, I have to remind myself of my goal and push through as best I can. Victor encourages me on my bad days too, and I always look at my sticker chart to remind me of the progress I've made so far.

Yes, for those who may be wondering, we did bring my sticker chart with us from Japan. Mama rolled it up and put it in one of those cardboard cylinders normally used for maps or architectural plans, and I carried it with me on the plane. it's hanging in our kitchen here in Willow Creek now.

If you're looking for an update on it, tomorrow is the twentieth of September — my twenty-sixth birthday, incidentally — and I'll only have twelve more days to go before I can say I've been formula-free for sixty consecutive days.

I’ve earned four small rewards so far, and in a couple of days I’ll earn the fifth one. I already know what it is, but Victor says we can’t bring it home until I complete this current ten-day stretch. It’s garden boxes, by the way. My previous reward was gardening tools, and the one before that was a book about growing vegetables.

I won’t be able to start my garden till next spring, but I’ve already picked out a spot for my boxes, and having the things now means a lot even if I have to wait to use them. Choosing what to grow and reading up on the best cultivation methods will keep me busy during the winter, and then I’ll be ready to plant my little crop when the time comes.

Victor says strawberries do well in this climate, so I think they’ll be first on my list. I’m already imagining eating strawberries I nurtured myself. Do you think love and hope will make them sweeter?

I haven’t even planted them yet and I have a whole multitude of emotions about them. Mostly, I’m excited. I’ve always wanted my own garden, but I pictured it as flowers, not vegetables and fruit. The idea that we have room here for both makes me happy, and I can hardly wait to grow my favourite Japanese lilies and hydrangea alongside my strawberries.

Anyway, please excuse me for getting slightly off-track. I was trying to tell you about my progress. Day sixty will be October first, and then I’ll get the big reward. I know what that’s going to be as well, and it is very big. Victor told me this morning. I guess he couldn’t keep the secret until my birthday, which is when he and my parents had evidently planned to tell me, but I forgive him. It was still a fantastic surprise, and to be fair, it’s a gift for both Victor and me, so I can’t blame him for being enthusiastic about it.

I’ll tell you exactly what it is in my next entry, but suffice it to say, keeping my eyes on this particular prize is going to motivate me through the next fortnight.

Unfortunately, even when I reach the sixty-day mark, I'll still have my tube for a few more weeks because my first appointment with Dr. Kim, my new specialist here in Willow Creek, isn't until the twenty-second of October. Meanwhile, I'm still having follow-up by way of video conferences with my nutritionist back in Kyoto, and Dr. Kasongo is technically still my doctor. When I finish my sixty days, I'll get to report my progress to them, and then Dr. Kasongo will probably write a letter to Dr. Kim to tell him I'm ready to have my tube removed.

Apparently, he can do it right there in his office in about five minutes. From what I understand, he'll numb the area with an injection of some sort of local anaesthetic, maybe something like the dentist uses, and then when I can't feel anything, he'll pull the device straight out. He'll put a dressing on the area, and we'll have to watch for any signs of infection for a week or so until the tube site heals closed.

According to the information sheet I read about G-tube removal, I'll have to rest a lot and eat several small meals of bland foods like rice and yogurt for the first forty-eight hours after it comes out, and I'll have to take showers instead of baths until the hole closes, but that's about it. It's not even supposed to be particularly painful. I'll have a scar, of course, but I can live with that.

Victor says it’ll be my badge of honour, a tangible reminder of having survived one of the toughest situations I’ve ever experienced.

“It’ll prove you’re a warrior,” he told me. “You fought the battle, and you came out on top. That’s the thing with courageous people, you know. They might be scared, but they don’t let their fear win.”

I will never, ever let my fear win again.

But, you’ve probably had enough of me going on about my health at this point, haven’t you? Let me rewind and tell you a bit about our lovely summer and about our move instead.

The biggest highlight of the summer for me was having everyone I love most all together in one place. I didn't think Victor would agree to stay at my parents' house. When Papa invited him, he said he'd have to think about it, and I was convinced he'd say no, but I'm glad he decided to take Papa up on his offer in the end. We shared my old room, and even though we’re married and it's totally normal for us to sleep in the same bed, somehow this felt like I was a teenager having a sleepover with my boyfriend every night.

Victor and I spent a lot of time together, going for long walks and visiting parts of town we hadn't seen in a while. We went to the public onsen in Kiyomatsu several times, and we visited the local shrine. On sunny days, we usually packed our lunch and ate it down by the lake. I've taken a liking to eating outside, and now I want a picnic table in the back yard so we can enjoy meals outdoors here as well.

Aside from our dates, picnics and leisurely walks, Victor and I also made time to hang out with our friends. I'm relieved to say, Fox forgave me for the horrible way I treated him. He seemed a little perplexed by my apology at first, not so much because of what I said but because of the way I bowed to him. Takahiro had to explain it to him, and then he ended up making a wholly unnecessary apology to me for the cultural confusion.

While I'm on the subject of Taka and Fox, I should mention that Taka passed his immigration English test. He also got accepted into the college program he applied for, and received his study permit in August. In a cosmic stroke of good timing, Taka's Canadian study permit arrived on the day Fox's Japanese work visa expired, and they left Japan together a few days later.

Back in the winter, Victor and I offered to let them stay with us, but a lot has changed for all of us since then. We were supposed to have arrived in Willow Creek ahead of them, but obviously that didn't happen. In the meantime, Fox was busy applying for jobs back home, and he got offered a social worker position with the Department of Community Services, beginning in September. He has a Master's degree in social work, so the offer was ideal, as the position is exactly what he'd trained for.

Fox's parents still aren't speaking to him, but his sister hasn't abandoned him. She helped him find an apartment that's affordable, close to the college so Taka can walk to school, and on a bus route that'll take Fox downtown to his office. They stayed with one of Fox's cousins for a few weeks until the old tenants moved out of the apartment, and then they moved into their place around the same time we moved into ours.

I can't even begin to describe how reassuring it is to have my friend Takahiro nearby, and he confessed that he felt similarly about me being here. As safe and content as we are with our respective partners, it's daunting to realize we're in a whole new country without our families and all the things we're used to. There's no escaping the fact that we're newcomers, but it's less scary knowing we're not alone in the experience.

I wish I could say things were going as well for Seiji as they are for Taka and me. Victor and I took a weekend trip to Kyoto in July, and we decided to visit him while we were there. We got the impression he didn't really want to see us, though, and we only stayed at his flat for about half an hour because the atmosphere was so awkward.

We made a lot of small talk, but he did tell us that he hates working at the convenience store and is trying to figure out what to do next. His mother wants him to come home and be her apprentice, but he said he can't picture himself as a tailor. That statement, when the only real furniture we saw in his flat besides a shikibuton, a thrifted table and two rickety chairs was a purpose-built desk with a sewing machine on it, was incongruous. But we didn't question it. Seiji is the only one who can decide which direction he should take.

Victor's theory is that Seiji does want to come home, but he's too embarrassed or ashamed to, after leaving the way he did. If that's the case, nothing we could've said would have convinced him anyway. He'll have to make up his own mind to set aside his pride or fear or whatever else may be holding him back.

It makes me sad to think of him being all alone in that bare, depressing flat. Despite all the hurtful things he said to me, I still consider him my friend and I want him to have a full and happy life. I'd like the chance to talk to him one-on-one, to explain some things and to let him get his feelings out. That may never happen, I realize, but I like to think I'm keeping the door open for the opportunity, should it ever arise.

The uncomfortable meeting with Seiji notwithstanding, Victor and I had the most magical weekend in Kyoto. We revisited all the places we went to during the week we'd gotten married. On one evening we attended an absolutely glorious performance by a local string quartet, and on another we went skating at an indoor rink where I was able to teach Victor a sporting skill for once. Would you believe I'm a better skater than him? Well... perhaps not better, but more graceful at least.

As for the rest of the summer, August passed in much the same way as July, with plenty of walks and outdoor meals and precious time with my family. One thing of particular note from August, however, was my meeting with Mr. Tanaka and the human resources representative from our firm. Dr. Kasongo submitted a report to our HR department recommending that my short-term disability claim should be extended until the end of the year. Her opinion is that I'll be medically ready to return to work in January, and both my boss and the HR department approved the extension.

I'm looking forward to getting back to work, but I'm also glad that I'll have the rest of the year to keep getting better. I was working remotely before, but now I'll be working extremely remotely, and I think it's great that I get to keep my old job even though I'm living in an entirely different country. Much to my delight, Mr. Tanaka seems to think so as well. He said it was a chance he couldn't possibly pass up because with me being fluent in English and physically located in Canada, our firm will be in a much better position to attract more North American clients. Mr. Tanaka said he'd contact me early in December to work out a schedule for regular meetings, and so we can discuss my job duties and responsibilities going forward.

Although he didn't directly say so, I think he may have given me a promotion of sorts. I'll be sure to let you know if that indeed turns out to be the case.

The other big thing in August was that Victor and I departed Japan on the thirty-first. We said our goodbyes to Mama and Yuki at home, and then Papa took us to the airport.

I could not have predicted how emotional that would be.

Papa and I have grown close this year, and I wish I could find the right way to express how much of the previously empty space in my soul he's filled. I knew I was missing him all those years when our relationship was so strained, but I could not have comprehended exactly how much until we both dropped our stubborn pride and opened up our hearts and minds to each other. Saying goodbye was even harder than I expected, and even though I knew it wouldn't be a permanent goodbye, part of me didn't want to let go.

He went with us all the way to the security area. We all stopped outside the big glass doors, and Papa held out his hand for Victor to shake.

"Take care of yourself, Victor," he said. "And take care of my son."

"I'll take the best care of him, I promise," Victor assured him. "Don't worry."

"I'm going to, regardless," Papa said. "But, I trust you."

"Thanks." Victor grinned mischievously at him. "But, you know, if you ever want to come check on him in person, you're welcome to visit us whenever you're able. We'll offer you a non-haunted bedroom."

Papa smiled. "Expect us for Winterfest, and tell Miss Sachiko that we wouldn't dream of taking her room."

"Will do," Victor said.

Then, Papa turned to me. For an instant, I thought he was going to shake my hand too, but at the last moment he pulled me into a hug. I can't remember the last time I was hugged by my father and didn't feel uncomfortable with it, but I had no problem this time. I put my arms around him and held on tight.

"We'll see you in a few months," he whispered into my hair, and I was startled when I realized he was crying.

But I guessed I couldn't fault him for it because my eyes certainly weren't dry either. "I'm really going to miss you."

"Me too," he said. "Think of me when you’re having your strawberry milkshakes."

"I'll think of you every day, no matter what I'm doing. You and Mama and Yuki."

"I love you, my treasure," he said quietly. "Be brave. Mama and I believe in you, and we know you're going to have a wonderful new life in Canada."

I was sobbing by that point, but I managed to get out, "I love you, Papa."

I meant it. Watcher help me… with every fibre of my being, I meant it, and I hadn't even grasped the full magnitude of my love for him until that very moment.

When he walked away, I couldn't watch. Victor held me while I cried my heart out, right there in the middle of the crowded airport.

"It's gonna be okay, Yuri," Victor said. "He's right, you know. We're gonna have a wonderful life."

It was hard to believe that when I felt like my heart was breaking, but once we were in the air and away, I began to feel better. On the plane, we looked at pictures of various places around Willow Creek that we'd taken back in June, photos of Dr. Grace and Dr. Julian's wedding, and some funny snaps we'd taken of ourselves and Yuki in my room at my parents’ house. We talked about our plans and dreams, and we made up stories about ourselves in the far future. Cute old men in rocking chairs on our front porch, Victor said, and the image made me smile.

We arrived at the tiny Willow Creek airport around mid-morning the next day, where we were met by Victor's mother. She drove us home, and as we were getting out of the car, she handed Victor a set of keys.

"Here you go," she said. "Your grandpa was supposed to be here with the set you gave him, but apparently he and Juliet went on a spur-of-the-moment road trip to Oasis Springs. He said to pass along his apologies. He’ll be here next week."

Victor looked amused. "How much you want to bet they're eloping?"

"Victor!" Dr. Grace exclaimed. "Michael wouldn't do that."

"You don't think?" Victor's raised eyebrow said he might've known something his mother didn't.

Dr. Grace shook her head. "You're impossible, you know. You and your Grandpa Michael.”

"Yeah, we get that a lot."

"Well, I'll leave the two of you to settle in," she said. "Come over around five o'clock. Julian's making his famous chicken parmigiana."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Italian food," Victor replied. "I think you'll like it."

“Strawberry cake for dessert,” Dr. Grace added. “Because I heard somebody around here really enjoys strawberries.”

Victor winked at me. “I wonder who that could be?”

“I’ll see you boys at dinner,” Dr. Grace said

She wished us a good day, and then she got back into her car and drove across the street. It's nice, living across the street from Victor's mother and stepfather. I know Victor's happy about it, and I like knowing we have somebody close we can rely on if we ever need anything.

Once Victor's mother had left, I was ready to go inside. I started for the doorstep, but Victor held up his hand to stop me. "Just wait right there, okay?"

"Why?" I asked, as I watched him bound up the steps.

He unlocked the front door and flung it wide open before rejoining me on the walkway. "Because," he said. "I'm gonna carry you over the threshold. Isn't that what they do in those historical movies you like?"

I laughed. "That's for newlyweds, Victor. We've been married nearly a year."

"Yeah, but we didn't have our own house when we were newlyweds, did we?"

"Are you certain you can even still lift me? And your arms—"

"My arms are fine, and you're not that much heavier than you used to be. If I can't still carry you a few meters, I think that'll be a sign to go harder on the weight training."

"Okay," I said. I was a little dubious, but also secretly thrilled at the thought of being carried. It'd been a long time, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it.

"Okay," Victor said. "Ready?"

I nodded, and a second later he scooped me up as seemingly effortlessly as he ever had. He carried me up the steps and through the door, and then set me down carefully in the front hallway.

"Welcome home," he said.

I wanted to run through the place and look at everything, touch everything, and soak in the knowledge that this was our home. Mine and Victor's. It was the place where we'd truly build our intertwined lives, where we'd finish growing up and growing old together. Our goals and dreams would spring from here, and we'd live happily ever after because even if the world around us was in chaos, happiness comes from the inside. Victor taught me that, and once I finally understood it, my outlook changed completely. Life may not always be smooth sailing, but together we can survive any storm and come out smiling on the other side of it.

Before I ran off to explore every corner of the house and garden, there was something I needed to do.

"Thank you," I said.

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me. For being my soulmate and my superhero and my... everything."

Victor leaned down to kiss me, and I let myself melt into his embrace. I closed my eyes, breathing in the soft, sweet scent of coconut sunscreen and relishing the solid warmth of his body against mine. It was comforting and familiar, and it felt like the fulfillment of all my desires. For a moment, I forgot that I was in a foreign country, forgot that I had responsibilities... forgot everything that wasn't the sensation of being held by my husband.

"You are the most amazing person," Victor whispered with his lips still almost touching mine. "I'm lucky, getting to share the rest of my life with you."

I'm the lucky one, I thought. I don't know if I'd even be here to recount this to all of you if it weren't for Victor. I know he'd never take credit for saving me and would probably say I saved myself, but I couldn't have done it without him. I no longer think of repayment, but it's still important to me to show gratitude for everything he's done, and I think the best way I can do that is to appreciate the life he's helped me reclaim and live it to the fullest of my capability.

I stood on tiptoe to kiss him one more time and then, hand in hand, we set out to acquaint ourselves with every detail of our beautiful new home.

#writing #victorsworldadventures #willow creek #willow creek haunted house #victor nelson #yuri okamoto #tw chronic illness #tw medical mention #stargazersims

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yourloverfromthepast · 2 years

Text

𝑰 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑺𝑾𝑬𝑬𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻, 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑰 𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳

Sebastian Stan comfort one shot

𝑵𝒐𝒘 𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈...

SUMMARY: Reader is having a bad time and her boyfriend Sebastian does his best to help her

PAIRING: Sebastian Stan x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

WARNINGS: None

𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕...

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Ok guys, I really put a lot of effort into this, and I'm actually very proud of it (even tho after a couple of more readings I immediately began to have second thoughts😭), so please, don't be rude if you really don't like it. Constructive criticism and advices are more than welcome. Let me know what you think about it with a comment or a message! Thank you! <3

𝑫𝑶𝑾𝑵𝑳𝑶𝑨𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑬! 100%

P.S.: Before leaving you to the reading I wanna recommend you the three songs that I listened to while writing. Just choose the one that inspires you the most as a soundtrack, and if you're curious enough, in the future you can read this again while listening to another one! Sorry for the interruption! Bye! <3

That day? It was a shitty day. You couldn't help but feel tired and depressed at the end of it. You were angry at yourself, because the only thing you did was trying to find any possible excuse to stop whatever you were doing. In one word?

Procrastination.

And that shit? It was your biggest enemy.

It wasn't making you feel just furious, but also scared. You were scared of falling back again into that bottomless hole. That cold, deep, dark hole. And sometimes, when a specific habit that you had during that extremely bad period returned, a knot started to form in your stomach, and anxiety started to run through your veins and entire body. When one of those damn habits was coming back, the same extremely frightening gut feeling was coming back too.

You closed your eyes shut; the urge to cry was too strong. You put your right hand on the table in front of you and covered your mouth with the left one, in order to be as much silent as possible, while crouching on the floor at the same time.

Now, in your head, you were standing in front of that mirror again. The same exact mirror that you used to imagine whenever you felt like crap; the same exact mirror in which you always saw yourself from the past.

"No, I don't want to see you again.."

"I don't wanna be you anymore!"

"I am a better person now..."

"Stay away from me!"

"Please..."

"I. AM. HAPPY."

Who knows, maybe a few times it had really made you feel better, or maybe you were simply trying to convince yourself of that, since you had always created a whole fake scenario with your mind just because you were a coward and didn't have the courage to do it in real life. You stood up and walked to the living room. Your boyfriend, Sebastian, was quietly reading a book, sitting on the couch.

"Sweetheart! Can't sleep huh-"

You didn't let him the time to finish the sentence nor to look up at you, because you immediately sat on his lap and weakly hugged him.

"Babe..."

He put the book aside and placed one hand on your back and the other on your shoulder. You buried your face in his chest, and as a respons, he tightened the grip on your body. You did the same.

"It's okay doll, I'm here with you"

He kissed you on the head and then gently leaned on it with his chin. At the contact, you broke out. But those weren't tears of sadness; no, on the contrary, they were tears of joy.

Yeah, just that.

Pure joy.

You were so grateful to him, because even if he didn't know anything about how you were feeling, even if you didn't say a single word, even if you interrupted his activity, his little moment of peace...he didn't hesitate to cuddle you. He didn't hesitate to make you feel safe, protected, to make you feel...simply loved.

You sobbed. "I love you!" you said with a quite frustrated tone.

"Aww sweetheart" he chuckled and started to gently stroke your hair and back as he began to rock slowly, like when you have to cradle a newborn baby. "I love you too". His tone was sweet, calm, reassuring. "So, tell me. Did something happen?"

"No.."

"Are you feeling blue?"

"More like of a pitch black actually"

He pouted "No, doll, why?"

"I would like to know that too..."

He laughed "it's okay angel. It is completely normal to feel like that sometimes..." he cupped your face with his hands and forced you to look at him while drying your tears with his thumbs "but I don't think you're telling me the truth in this moment, hm?"

You didn't answer.

"Come on love, tell your amazing and incredible boyfriend what really happened".

That statement made you chuckle. "Ooh, look at that! My lovely girlfriend smiling! This is what I live for" he smiled back and kissed you on the tip of your nose. Then, he continued: "AAH, oh my GOD! Now I understand what people mean when they talk about 'cute aggression'. You are just SO, INCREDIBLY, CUTE! The only thing I wanna do is LITERALLY shower you with kisses!". And as he said that, he really started to "aggressively" kiss you all over your face and body.

"GOD NO! BABY PLEASE!" you burst out laughing "IT TICKLES!". Wriggling in a vain attempt to free yourself, you lost your balance and fell backwards to the ground, dragging him with you. "FUCK- honey are you ok??"

"No, I'm not..." worried, you immediately turned to him "becAUSE I WASN'T DONE YET!". He quickly climbed on top of you and started to tickle you again.

"NO SEBASTIAN, PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU" you were literally crying with laughter. "I- I GIVE UP- I GIVE UP!". He stopped immediately.

"What did you say?"

"I give up!" you answered breathless.

"Perfect". With the proudest expression you had ever seen and a quite hot smirk, he stood up and offered you his hand to help you, almost like a real knight who has to help a small, poor defenseless damsel to get on his white horse.

"Are you feeling a little better now?"

"Yes, thank you"

He quickly kissed you on the lips and went to the kitchen to grab your favorite mug. "Ok doll, please, sit on the couch and try to tell me what happened. In the mean time I'll make you some hot tea". He was so thoughtful, caring. For a split second you felt your heart skipping a beat. For the very first time, you thought that if one day he would have left you, you would have probably died. He was the one and only man you wanted by your side for the rest of your days.

"Well, I don't think that you remember this, but...at the beginning, when we had started dating, I told you about that- dark period I had been through years ago"

"Yes, of course I do remember...it is..happening again?"

"Nonono! Thank god no! I swear honey, I'm ok, don't worry. It's just..." as you were trying to find the words to continue your speech, he sat on the couch with two steaming mugs in hands "sometimes I'm scared it can happen again". You shyly looked at him to check what kind of reaction he might have had, but before he could even try to open his mouth, you proceeded: "I- I know it seems ridiculous! I know that, but I always have this...this extremely strong and- heavy feeling...I simply can't help it".

He put the mugs on the small table at the side of the couch, where he left the book he was reading before. "Y/n, now listen carefully to what I'm about to say" he grabbed your hands and stared right into your gorgeous eyes "you have to fear nothing with me by your side. Absolutely nothing" he paused for a second. "You see, babe, sometimes...life simply sucks. It doesn't matter who you are. If you're rich, poor, young, old. It doesn't even matter if you always had to fight or not. I guess you're probably thinking: 'but this is not fair', and you're right. You're absolutely right, it's unfair, but unfortunately we can't do anything about it" he lowered his gaze, looking at the floor. "I understand how you're feeling, trust me, I've been there too...many times actually". You put your hand on his left cheek and caressed him; at the touch, he automatically raised his brows and his eyes got shiny with tears. He looked at you and forced a smile before clearing his throat. "But I am a lot better now. Why? Because I always kept going on, and that is something you MUST do, every single time. I'm awfully sorry to tell you this baby, I know that in some cases knowing the truth might be..unpleasant, and I know that I'm supposed to make you feel better in situations like this but...in life you'll feel like giving up a lot of times. Of course I hope the opposite, you should know that I just wish the best for you, but I think that being aware of the thing will make it...a bit easier" you cupped his face and kissed him on the forehead. "In any case, as I told you before, you don't have to fear anything, because I am, and will always be ready to back you up! No matter what". You gave him one of your purest and most dazzling smiles and hugged him.

"Thank you Sebastian. I-" you sobbed, and as you felt tears forming in your eyes, you hid your face in the crook of his neck "I love you with all my heart and soul...I really mean it" you whispered. With your right hand on his chest, you felt his heartbeat increasing.

He kissed you on the head and finally said: "I...I really love you too, sweetheart. And I always will"

Thank you so much for reblogging and liking my last post! ^^ <3

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