Nita had been feeling under the weather lately. With her father's constant nagging about her life choices, school life and the fight she had with her boyfriend... It gets overwhelming. Melany hated seeing her daughter in this state. She stayed with Nita until she fell asleep. She was going to have a very long talk with her husband later, but now she needed to be with Nita.
Well, this post also serves as a reminder that it is okay to not be okay. With how crazy the world is right now, don't push yourself too hard. If you're not okay, talk to someone you trust, do something you love, spend time with your loved ones. Things get overwhelming. Take a break if needed and come back better than ever. With that said, I hope you have a holly jolly Christmas/Holidays.
Also, thank you so very much for 32 followers. Everyone has to start somewhere but I am very grateful for the love you've shown on my posts! Thank you thank you thank you once again.
Hey Bee, I have noticed that you haven't been as active on Tumblr lately and I suddenly got really worried. I don't know why! Is everything okay? I don't know why I'm suddenly so concerned. I hope you are doing well.
Take care bee ❤️ love your works
Hey lovely,
Thank you for your concern. I was actually gonna make a small post about this, then saw your ask, so I'll just talk about it here.
It's been building up for a while now, but a couple weeks ago a series of things got on top of me and I had a really bad mental breakdown, probably one of the worst I've ever had. I've now had medical intervention and my therapist has been that worried about my mental state that I'm currently getting intensive therapy with her for free.
Therapy/meds are helping a little and taking the edge off, but I'm still very much all over the place, so I'm just taking my time before I'm active on here/writing stuff etc again.
I'm being well looked after by friends and ofc Sam, so hopefully I'll be better soon <3
The way my mental health has always been demonized and weaponized is insane. I have never felt safe, heard, protected, or understood. Yet, here I am guiding the same people through their trauma and life experiences. I don't think I can be anyone else's light anymore. These are the same people who have dimmed mine time and time again. Now, I am at a point where I have nothing left to give. Not to others or myself. So, where does that leave me?
writing is a pain. I regret starting to write. I regret thinking "well ao3 is an interesting site lets try it". I regret everything I've done in the past fifteen years.
(I have to write the last part of another 3-chapter-thing that my trusted genya fandom is enjoying but I can only think abou bsd and tecchou and I'm about to punch myself, I've write like, only 2000/7000 words)
(and this sweet thing in the comment was like "take your time, we love this" so now I have to give everything I have to them cause they were sweet to me)
It's okay if you have goals for this year, it's okay if you don't. It's okay if you've "already messed up." You're okay, start anew. Tomorrow, today, this hour, this moment.