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nice-kill-tanaka · 3 years

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May I have a my hero and ohshc matchup plz

I'm a short girl around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. I have a very kind heart and sad stories or ones with very happy endings make my heart happy or hurt like crazy. But even though I'm kind that doesn't mean i am nice all the time. I am extremely grumpy and have a short temper especially on no sleep or if I just woke up. I also do have adhd and some anxiety I dont like being touched randomly unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. As for dreams I'm not sure I wanna be a voice actor but not too sure if its right for me as I don't know how to edit or even have the equipment. I want someone who can just listen to me as I ramble on about things I love. I want someone to understand that I think differently then normal people. I also want someone to be able to understand im not the most affectionate person but I can be if given time but I will help someone if they are touch starved like I am.

[🌄 @cutelittleriot requested one (1) regular My Hero Academia matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]

YAYYY!! First bnha matchup!! I gotchu bud 👍 I’m thinking about trying something new for the bnha fandom in particular. So, I’ll try it out and see what you think! Also, I got a little carried away with this one, so if it doesn’t seem characteristically accurate to you, please tell me!! 😖

And, the lucky person is:

⛰Eijiro Kirishima⛰

Quirk: Dragon

Dragon is a mutation quirk. It manifests slowly over time, until the user becomes about 60% dragon-esque at around 15/16 years old.

Scales and tough skin appear on the arms, legs, and face. Sharp teeth and claws grow in. Horns protrude from the forehead. A tail grows from the spine. Finally, wings grow from the back.

Flesh becomes twice as tough in places where scales are.

Depending on the user’s body type, wing usage is limited. (Since you’re generally shorter than average, “flying” and gliding comes easier to you.)

When the user consumes pressurized carbon dioxide, their stomach converts it into flammable gasses. Which allows the user to breathe- er...burp...fire.

Fire must be carefully used however. The smoke produced can accidentally be breathed in, causing lung damage.

🌱Humble Beginnings🌱

I’ll start by saying this: Being bullied is never fun. Being bullied over something you can’t easily control or change? Rub salt in it, why don’tcha?

You weren’t sure what the select few kids in your grade thought was so hilarious about your quirk. But, they managed to find enough wrong with it to do their damage for most of your time in school

First, the patches of scales that showed up on your skin were “too weak”. Then, your awkward transition stage with growing horns, wings, and tail was suddenly “ugly”

By the time your quirk fully manifested, the jeers finally devolved to “freak-ish”

Like a river carving out the Grand Canyon, the work was slow and wore you down over time. But, the impact was a lot bigger than even you’d initially thought

While you managed to somewhat heal and learned to guard your emotions against such hurtful things, that’s all you learned to do: Guard yourself. You were a shield with no spear, since you never fought back

With the help of supportive parents and teachers, your self-esteem wasn’t so low, but you did often downplay or underestimate your abilities

Like, Bitch??? You can burp fire??? Know your power???

The people you were on good terms with seemed to see a potential that you either disregarded, or didn't know about all together

They saw the way you treated others with consideration and forethought. How, despite (or because of) your anxiety, you remained hyper-aware of the problems of others and how to accommodate. And while your anger did have its vices, people knew how hot your righteous rage could burn

It actually took a lot of convincing for you to even apply to U.A.

Outside of your other aspirations for the future, you didn’t particularly feel worthy for the job. Of anything you could be, you weren’t a fearless, upstanding, unshakable individual, not even giving a second thought to throwing yourself into danger for the good of others. You weren’t your alleged definition of a hero, and that was enough to deter you

But, whenever you recited your polite (well-rehearsed) decline, most gave you the same weirdly optimistic retort:

“Just try, maybe you’ll do better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

So, here you were at an entrance exam full of people you hardly knew, wondering how you even rationalized to yourself that this would go just fine

The written exam went okay. As well as you could for literally guessing what to study to pass

All you had to do was do your best on the physical exam, and you’d be done for the day

But, your issue was in the people around you, not the exam itself

You were aware of the high amount of attention the moment you walked onto campus. The way other kids measured you up from a distance, studying everything about your not-so-human body. Watching your every move, especially the way your movements were strained from soreness (A short period of intense training tends to do that to you). You assumed they also wanted to see if your disposition was as powerful as your quirk suggested

((You specifically noticed a coltish, green-haired kid muttering to himself, questioning if your wings could actually support your body weight))

Even now, as the prospective heroes-in-training warmed up, you felt the stares burning into you

Half of you wanted to lift your eyes and rhetorically ask what the hell they were looking at, only feeling more annoyed as you snorted and returned to what you were doing. The other half wanted to fold into yourself until you disappeared (If only it were that easy)

But, you had enough (Roughly, one billion) worries on your mind to put confrontation on the list. Shaking off your anxious shivers as you lowered your head and continued with your “stretches” seemed so much easier

(A.k.a. Staring off into space as you held your limbs in awkward positions)

The time to begin the physical test was drawing near, and your self-doubt hadn’t eased up. Maybe this was a mistake. You didn’t belong here. Not when so many other students could fill the space you’re wasting so much better. Maybe if you slipped through the back now, you’d save yourself the disappointment of not living up to your own standards

“Hey, brown-haired girl! With the horns!”

You heard a gruff whisper from not to far behind you, from the left. You tensed for a moment, wondering what the voice could possibly want from you. But, the sight you saw was rather unexpected

The voice definitely matched the body, bulky and slightly rough looking, a little taller than you. Matched with a sweet face, sharp teeth, and bright, spiky, red hair. The smile he showed you instantly calmed your thoughts

“…Hm?”

You gave a short response, not wanting to jump to conclusions yet

“I saw you looking kinda psyched out over here, so I thought talking to you would make you less nervous!”

You felt a warm and fuzzy sensation in the pit of your stomach. As much encouragement as you got to achieve things, you didn’t see much of it to consider how you felt. How you could feel better. You liked it, which was surprising, considering the encouragement came from a perfect stranger

“Oh, uhh…thanks then. But, I’m fine, I promise! I’m no more nervous than you are.”

“Well, that’s also why I came to talk…I’m kinda freaking out too…”

This boy’s transparency was almost scary, but on the other hand, very comforting. You didn’t catch him trying to stare at your mutated parts once as you talked. Your eyes were the thing he seemed the most focused on, and while it made you embarrassed, it was the good kind (if that makes sense)

But, soon enough, the announcement for the beginning of the exam came over the loudspeaker, and you and your acquaintance had to look out for yourselves. But, before you parted ways, the redhead turned to you

“I’m Eijiro Kirishima, by the way! See you when I see you, Shortie!”

🌳Flourishing Love🌳

The beginning of Kirishima seeing you as a romantic option happened not too long after parting ways at the physical exam

He was almost completely cornered by one of the machines students could disarm for points. And just as that was happening, you had just turned the corner after shaking off another one

You saw Kirishima, but he definitely didn’t see you, trying hard to look tough, but struggling to stand his ground

It quickly dawned on you that Kirishima didn’t have a quirk that could easily deal with the hostile device. And if he did, he was too scared to use it

You vetoed the idea of charging in head on first. You didn’t feel like getting yourself or Kirishima hurt. Especially without a plan. You needed to be smart about getting your only acquaintance out of this situation

Your heart raced and your execution was all but clean, but you ended up using your fire breath to weld the robot’s wheels to the concrete

Before you let your inhibitions get the better of you, you climbed the machine and punched out the camera on the front. From atop the beast, you hung your tail over the edge low enough for Kirishima to grab. You didn’t dare look down at the ground

“Dammit Eijiro, grab on!!”

Once you felt a weight on your tail, you used your wings to propel you both forward. Obviously, away from the robot

You were too high on adrenaline and fear to notice, but Kirishima stared at you like you were the embodiment of Heaven on Earth. The stars in his eyes almost seemed inappropriate for the situation 😅

You looked just as—if not more—afraid than he was. But, you seemed so okay with the fact that you weren’t fearless, and acted like a true hero anyway. He admired, dare I say loved that about you

And he didn’t even know your name

As soon as you found out that you and Kirishima were in the same class, you felt instant relief. At least you were familiar with someone at U.A.

You guys’ friendship developed rather fast, like and extrovert adopting an introvert

Kirishima quickly noticed how fast you opened up once you got comfortable around him, and loved you all the more for how bright and vibrant the unfiltered you was

He found himself picking up on your sense of humor, telling dad jokes you whisper under your breath to the Bakusquad (Much to Bakugou’s dismay 😅)

Don’t worry, he always gives you the credit 😉

As time went on, Kirishima learned to appreciate how blunt you were. He realized that he needed someone to tell it like it is (“It isn’t manly to sugarcoat things! 😤” he says)

And while Kirishima prefers physical activities over video games, he loves to hype you up while you play before classes

It was only natural a mutual crush would form :D

Kirishima finally worked up the guts to ask you out after the U.S.J. Incident

You and him had gotten separated (You had gotten trapped with the cold son of Endeavor. And you both took out the villains with an awe-inspiring display of fire and ice)

Kirishima was faced with the reality that either of you could lose each other at any moment. And while both of you came out alright, he realized he couldn’t be wishy-washy about his feelings for you

He told you on your way to school the next morning:

“Look. What happened yesterday really scared me. Normally, I wouldn’t say that, but I think you deserve to know. Because…you mean a lot to me!! More than I can put into words. I love when we have fun together, and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I never got to tell you how I felt…”

“Basically…I like you!! Like…in the romantic way…”

Your early morning grumpiness dissipated almost instantly, replaced by momentary confusion and disbelief, then embarrassment and joy. Was this really happening…? The boy that took a chance on you since the beginning, confessed that he had feelings for you…? Even though you didn’t question your relationship, you always assumed the nice things Kirishima said, the way he looked at you, was all part of the pleasantries. You questioned if you were even worth all of that

‘But you are.’ The little voice Kirishima helped you develop said. ‘And he would say more if he didn’t look so embarrassed.’

And so, you accepted Kirishima’s confession. And he saw the sweetest smile you had ever given him since the first time he complimented your puns 😊❤️

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

#caravan commodities #special bindles #matchup #cutelittleriot.traveler #cutelittleriot.request #mha x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #mha matchup #bnha matchup #back on the grind #😊#my other choices would’ve been Mirio or Sero

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perthshirecottage · 4 years

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Okay this wound up way longer than I thought it was going to. I was thinking about little Five in the apocalypse and finding Vanya’s book. Has anyone ever thought about how much Vanya’s book influenced Five and his perception of his siblings? Because I think about that and I haven’t really seen too many posts about that so here’s my two cents.

Five was only 13 when he got stuck in the apocalypse and yet he comes back acting like he knows these 29 years old versions of his siblings. Five obsessively reading the book actually explains why he comes back and immediately thinks every single one of his siblings besides Vanya are stupid and useless despite not having seen any of them in 45 years. The book would have been written to make Vanya the poor sympathetic victim and her father and siblings the villain of her story. 45 years is a long time and I’m sure Five has forgotten plenty of details about his siblings. He still has his own faded memories of the people he remembers and so he might remember bits and pieces that weren’t in the book but those memories would be influenced by the things Vanya had written and perhaps make him question if he was remembering correctly. Not to mention Vanya’s book is the only written account of the kind of people they became and Vanya made sure she was the only one who came across in a flattering light. Five would have read about Klaus and his spiral into addiction and how he stole and lied to his siblings. How Allison became even more shallow and vain. How Luther was almost cruel in his need to be the leader, acting more and more like dad every day. Deigo was selfish and only cared about making sure everyone knew he was better than them and he was angry and bitter when he couldn’t. And Vanya would have written herself as the saint who endured all of this only to be tossed aside like a broken doll that no one wanted. Of course Five is going to lean towards seeing things Vanya’s way. Her voice is the only influence he had on knowing who his siblings became. The only fact that Five would have kept alive outside of Vanya’s influence is that he loves his siblings. I don’t say any of this to diminish what Vanya went through. She *did* suffer. But so did everyone else in that house. And Vanya’s book would not have shown that because she didn’t think anyone else suffered the way she did. She thought she was treated horribly and abused while her siblings were living the high life of being extraordinary and that she had to be the martyr for living through that. So Five, young and impressionable and all alone would have had Vanya’s voice in his ear telling him all the reasons why she was the only good person in that house, the only one that was competent and could be trusted. Five would have felt more of a kinship towards Vanya than anyone else because her book would have endeared him to her. Unfortunately when he got there and Vanya didn’t believe him it went against the Vanya that Five had created in his head. Because none of Five’s siblings were quite the people that Vanya had portrayed in her book, not even herself. And Five has had to adapt to anything the world has thrown at him so he just rolls with it. He also didn’t have time feel any loss at his preconceived notions being wrong because, you know the apocalypse was in 8 days.

I don’t know the exactly what the kids’ relationships were like growing up, and I know that Vanya wrote about how Five was her only confidant. How he was the only one who cared, but that is the voice of someone who is 15 years past what happened and seeing things with rose tinted glasses. I know the popular opinion is that Five and Vanya were the absolute best of friends and everyone else was just sort of there, but that’s based on a head shake, a name called, what Vanya said, and the fact the Five went to Vanya first. That’s not to say that Five and Vanya were not friends, but I don’t think that Vanya was Five’s only friend. Because of their dad’s influence no one wanted to hang out with Vanya that much but since Five did that meant that he was her best friend. And Five left and so those are the memories that Vanya held onto to but I highly doubt that Five hung out with Vanya and only Vanya. The fact that Five had enough love and connection to endure 45 years of hell to get back to his entire family and not just Vanya shows that five had to have had an honest connection to *all* of his siblings. At 13 I’m sure that Five played with all of his siblings and had a relationship with each of them. In flashbacks he was arrogant and smart but also a little silly and playful and he wasn’t as stressed and mean as he is in the show because he hadn’t endured 45 years of trauma. And while yes, I do think Five was probably closer to Klaus, Ben, and Vanya, if only because Allison and Luther were caught and up in each other and Diego had latched into their mom, it doesn’t mean that Five didn’t hang out with people who weren’t Vanya. He would have bonded with everyone else over things that Vanya couldn’t understand. Vanya thought getting a tattoo would have been cool, and wanted one only because she was left out while everyone else knew how frightening and traumatic the whole thing was. Vanya didn’t endure training sessions and know how brutal those could be. She didn’t go on missions and experience how thrilling they could be when they went right but that also meant she never felt the panic and desperation and fear when they went wrong. Back to my point which is that Vanya would have only had good things to say about Five and how close they were. Vanya probably would have written about how everyone didn’t seem to mind that much about Five going missing because that gave them more room to shine and how she was the only one to make him peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches and leave the lights on for him because she was his best friend and the only one who cared about him. so of course Five is going to come out years later remembering how close he and Vanya were because her book would have influenced his memories. He wouldn’t as clearly be able to remember joking around with Klaus or sitting around complaining about training with Diego or those moments where he and Ben would sit in compainiable science while reading or how he and Luther would excitedly talk about whatever new science fact they had learned that day or how he and Allison would laugh over some of the more ridiculous articles that were written about the esteemed Umbrella Academy. Vanya’s account of their friendship would have made Five feel closer to her than anyone else. And I’m sure Five would have felt a connection to Vanya’s portrayal of complete isolation. Five understands on a visceral level what it means to be cut off from everyone and everything and he would have felt this kinship with Vanya over that as well.

Which brings us to season 2. Five still loves Vanya and wants to protect her, but Vanya also isn’t the same person he thought she was. She is more angry and vindictive than he thought. And the rest of the siblings aren’t quite what Five had built up in his head either. Klaus isn’t just a lying junkie, but also empathetic and sad. Diego isn’t just an angry number 2 but has a protective streak a couple miles wide. Luther isn’t just Dad’s lackey but is someone who just wants to protect his family but is floundering in figuring out who he is. Allison isn’t completely focused on herself but wants to be a better sister, a better person. Five is reminded more of the people he knew when he was 13. He is reminded that Vanya has some bad qualities but that those don’t diminish the good ones. He is also reminded that the others are not just the horrid useless people from Vanya’s book, but people who are hurting just like him (even if he still knows he had it worst) and who are good and loving people that he wants to reconnect with. And so seeing them in this new light and also realizing that leaving people out of the loop is what caused the last apocalypse, Five puts more trust in his family and tries to bring them together to stop this new apocalypse. He wants to be closer and work with and spend time getting to know this version of his siblings. In S1 when Five is given a minute to breathe because he thinks the apocalypse is over, he realizes that all he wants to do is grow up and be with his family. He wants to just be, without a mission, without an apocalypse. He is tired of fighting and clinging to rage to keep his adrenaline up just so he can function to get through his exhaustion and pain to save the world. He wants to connect to his family. He wants to know all of them. And Five is willing to do whatever he has to get the chance to truly know his siblings on his own terms and not through someone else’s skewed perspective. Five is even willing to fight Vanya because again, he is seeing that she is willing to toss away all of his hard work because she cares more about her selfish desires than going home which is all Five has wanted for 45 years not to mention the fact that he hasn’t had a single break in two weeks. Of course it’s not just Vanya, everyone does get sidetracked by their own personal problems and Five winds up just about losing his mind. Even older, younger Five shows that Five is automatically going to side with Vanya for destroying the world. This Five hasn’t been rejected by Vanya or seen her get angry or been reminded that his family is more than just the bad people in Vanya’s book so when he finds out that Vanya destroyed the world because she was ignored then he is like yeah that tracks. Five has seen all of his siblings too long through Vanya’s eyes and he deserves the chance to know them himself.

Five has lived far longer without his family than he did with them plus he was so young when he left that he wouldn’t have had that many years of concious memories. So Vanya and her book would have had just as much of an impact on his life as the apocalypse did.

#tua #five hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #the hargreeves #tua s2 spoilers #the umbrella academy season 2 spoilers #the umbrella academy

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aresrl · 3 years

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I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

#genshin request #genshin matchups #genshin #genshin impact

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borathae · 4 years

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Hey... about the drabbles? Could you do one where you're supposed to have a first date with one of them but either you or he gets in a minor accident but has to stay at the hospital overnight and the other person is extremely hurt and therefore angry bc their (hard to get) trust was "used to hurt them" but then they find out and it's fluffy? And could you maybe do it with yoongi bc atm I'm so soft for him like 🥺 Thank you, love your work❤ ~procrastinating anon

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: low self-esteem, self-hatred, heartbreak, descriptions of minor injuries nothing major I promise, so much pain and sadness; but I promise the ending is fluffy and healing

Wordcount: 2k (I’m so bAD AT KEEPING THINGS SHORT jsjsjs)

a/n: I apologize for the total angst fest in the beginning jsjsjsj. This was not how I actually planned it, but I let my feelings flow free soooo I’m sorry? 🤧😂 also lisTEN I relate so muCH I’m so goddamn soft for Yoongi lately, this man owns my heart 🥺😭 I hope you enjoy this cute little drabble and I love youuu! 💜

Today you were supposed to have your first date with a cute guy, who you had been chatting with for quite some time now. Two months and six days to be exact. Min Yoongi was his name. Min Yoongi was currently working as a music producer, he was the proud father of a brown toy poodle named Holly and had a soft spot for holding hands. His hair was dark, almost black with the ends twisted in soft locks. His eyes, the prettiest eyes you had ever seen, made you giddy just thinking about them. Oh how many hours you have spend getting lost in them when you looked through the many selcas he had sent you.

At first you didn’t even want to accept his chat-request, too scared made you the thought of talking to someone again feel. Quite honestly you had terribly bad luck in your relationships – lovers and friends alike – you got cheated on, got used and abandoned when you were no longer of use, got called ‘not lovable’ and worse things you don’t even want to think about anymore. So downloading “the best dating app on earth” – so your best friend called it – was the scariest thing you had done in forever, followed by pressing “accept” on Yoongi’s request to chat and actually answering his dorky but loveable first message.

Yoongi turned out to be the sweetest and most understanding guy – person actually – you had ever talked to. He listened to your worries and told you without a hint of hesitation that he would love it if things would developat a speed you were comfortable with and that you can take as much as time as you needed.

He agreed on your terms to not rush meeting in person, because god that would make you practically have a full-on panic attack. That was the first time you had honestly smiled in a long time, rereading his message over and over again, you weren’t able to believe your luck.

Time passed and with it your trust grew. You were chatting on a daily basis with him by now, wishing him a good morning and waiting excitedly for his good night phone calls at exactly ten twenty every night. You felt totally comfortable with him. You felt safe to be yourself around him, even if it was just through the phone. You felt sexy when you noticed the way his eyes travelled over your features when phones calls weren’t enough anymore and they turned into video calls. You felt loved and you were pretty sure the warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest every time you thought of him was love too.

So when Yoongi asked you if you wanted to meet up in person soon, your heart practically did somersaults in your chest. You had never typed “Yes!” faster in your life and judging by his quick answer neither had he.

The date was settled, two days from now you will meet each other in a little corner café. You couldn’t sleep in excitement, your mind was practically racing with scenarios of your date.

When the time finally came, you spend the entire day getting ready for your date, washing your hair, moisturizing every inch of your skin, picking out the perfect outfit. You showed up an hour earlier than arranged, just so you could mentally prepare yourself for finally seeing him in person. You were so excited.

One hour passed. Half an hour passed. You sent him a quick text asking if he was running late. He went online, typed and went offline before his message was able to reach you.

Two hours had passed since you came here. You quickly send Yoongi another message, asking him if he forgot about today.

Half an hour passed. No answer, no calls, no nothing.

Another thirty minutes pass and here you are still sitting at the corner café and waiting for him.

Today should have been epic, exciting, remarkable, unforgettable. You were so sure it would bring a smile to your face every time you think about it. How could you be so wrong about that? You trusted him, you believed him when he told you he wouldn’t use you, you ate up his promises of support and comfort without as much as patting your stupid eyelashes.

You call him. It rings once then his voice mail tells you he isn’t available right now. He really rejected your call just like that.

So he just used you. You should blame him and be angry at him, but truth be told you weren’t. You were just hurt, so deeply hurt you have to look down your chest for a moment to see if you were actually bleeding. You honestly feel like you do.

Without any hesitation you block his number, block his social media profiles and delete all of his pictures. And just like that he is out of your life, your ability to trust is ruined for another year and your heart is broken.

Three days pass where your life consists of nothing more than crying yourself awake, forcing yourself to go to work and then continuing where you had left of in the morning when you go to sleep. You would have probably continued your daily routine if an unknown number hadn’t called you on the morning of your fourth day. The caller turns out to be Kim Seokjin, best friend of Yoongi who had stolen your number out of Yoongi’s notebook and who had made it his plan to explain everything.

Yoongi had gotten into an accident on the day of your date. The “idiot” – so Seokjin called him – walked into the busy street and got hit by a car because he was in the midst of typing out a message. He was lucky, nothing major happened. His right shoulder got dislocated and whilst getting thrown across the street he hit his head, resulting in a slight concussion. The entirety of guardian angels must have been with him on that day, so Seokjin said, the doctors told him such an accident results in death or life-changing injuries most of the times.

As quickly as possible you are the hospital Yoongi is currently recovering at and find yourself standing in front of his room with shaking hands. Would it be awkward between the two of you after everything that had happened? What if you look at him and won’t feel the same warm love you had felt for him before?

A nurse opens the door before you can even knock, eyeing from head to toe before greeting you with a bright smile. It’s now or never. With held breath you enter the small hospital room.

“Yoongi?”you almost whisper, tiptoeing to his bed.

You have to take a deep breath when you finally take a look at him. All the feelings you wanted to push down and forget come rushing back into your heart, overwhelming you. You stumble back, holding onto the footboard of his bed.

He looks just as beautiful as he did through the phone screen, maybe even prettier if you were being honest. Even in his current asleep state he is able to take your breath away. His eyes are closed, his lips slightly parted as steady breaths make his chest heave up and down. He looks so peaceful and calm, despite the white bandages covering the entire top part of his head and his right arm resting in a black sling.

Waking him up feels so cruel, but god, leaving him without having said hello feels so much worse. So you call his name loudly and gently tap his foot. He stirs, licking over his lips and swallows. His eyes flutter open. He mumbles your name, totally confused and still half-asleep.

“Hey”, yousay shyly.

“Hey, wow what a nice dream, these pain meds are awesome”, he murmurs, closing his eyes again.

“This isn’t a dream. I’m really here”, you chuckle.

“Seriously?” he gasps, surprisingly high-pitched for his normally deep voice. He sits up abruptly, hissing when hot pain rushes through his shoulder.

“Careful”, you rush to his side and help him sit up with a hand on his upper back, “you are still hurt.”

You sit down at the corner of his bed, careful not to hurt him.

“Yeah, for a second I nearly forgot about that”, he chuckles in pain, “how do you even know I am here? I thought you blocked me.”

You cringe at his words. So he noticed.

“Uhm, yeah I have. I, I mean had. I kind of had a slight mental breakdown when you ditched me at the café and I blocked you everywhere and deleted all of your pictures and basically locked your memory behind a big steel door in my mind and I swore to myself to never trust again.”

“Understandable”, Yoongi says. He takes your hand, squeezing it gently. You don’t even realise his gesture, too lost in rambling your thoughts out loud. It makes Yoongi tighten his hand around yours just all the more as a fond smile hushes over his face. You are so adorable when you rant like this and forget everything around you.

“But then your friend Seokjin called me”, you continue as if nothing happened, “and explained everything and now I feel like a total idiot for ever believing that you used me and at first I didn’t even want to come because I was too embarrassed, but then I started to miss you and-“, you pause to take a look at Yoongi.

A fond smile sits on his face, his eyes sparkle in adoration. Heat washes over your face as you start to blush vividly. You can’t even look into his eyes right now.

“I was rambling again. I’m so sorry. You probably think that I’m crazy right now”, you cringe, “sorry.”

“Actually I was thinking how cute you are right now”, Yoongi says softly, giving your hand another squeeze.

One you finally feel and one that sends in your body into complete overdrive. Your heart starts racing, your whole face becomes as red as a tomato, you stutter an answer but give up when you can’t even get out one basic word.

“I’m glad that you came”, he breathes.

You smile as an answer, squeezing his hand.

“It’s not an outfit I would normally wear nor is the location nice for a first date, but I hope that, I don’t know, it is still enough to give me a second chance?” he asks, almost scared.

“Of course it’s enough, it wasn’t your fault that you missed our date. I know that now”, you reassure him, making him smile, “besides I think you look cute in that hospital gown. I like the little pandas on the fabric”, you giggle, touching one of the dozens of animals on his shirt.

Right above his heart, you can feel it speed up underneath your fingertip at your gesture.

“Just wait until you see the back, because there is basically none.”

“Oh my god Yoongi”, you gasp at the mental picture of Yoongi sitting here with his butt all bared and naked.

“I’m wearing underwear don’t worry”, he laughs.

“What a relief”, you giggle, lowering your head in giddiness.

He pulls you closer to his body, making you scoot up the bed until he can wrap his arm around your middle comfortably and your back is rested against his side. You are careful not to put too much pressure on his body in order not to hurt him, despite your body wanting to basically sink into his arms. God finally being able to feel his touch, his warmth, his heartbeat is even better than you had imagined.

“Please stop me if this is too fast for you. And also I know you don’t really start a first date by kissing the other person, but-“, he inhales shakily, staring at your lips longingly, “-can I kiss you?”

“Yes please”, you whisper, leaning closer to his body.

His hand comes to rest on the back of your neck, your own cups his cheek. You are staring at each other for as long as possible, mesmerized by the other. Only when your lips brush over his and a gentle sigh leaves his throat do your eyes flutter closed and the feeling of his soft lips on yours drowns you in warmth.

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theholycovenantrpg · 3 years

Photo

CONGRATULATIONS, CAROLINE! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF MICHAEL.

Admin Rosey: This was. This was absolutely beautiful to read, Caroline. I feel like there’s no other way to describe it because the emotion behind each and every word was so palpable. I think what struck me - not above all, just something that really struck me and sticks within my mind - is the fact that you identified him as heroic, and then as archaic. It was such a small detail, but it was the most perfect way to describe Michael. He wants to be the hero, the savior - but he’s archaic. Michael is the untitled King of Caelum, and boy, I cannot wait to see how much ruin you will cause to him and everyone else. Sincerely, this was a g i f t to read. Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias. Caroline

Age. Twenty-five

Personal Pronouns. She/her or they/them

Activity Level. I will not lie to y’all, I work six days a week ten-hour days. But I also get very attached and want to stay up to date. Between those two, I like to stay up to date with the dash, but sometimes only get to post one or two times a week. Other times I’m always Here. There is no middle ground and I am so sorry

Timezone. EST

Triggers. REMOVED

How did you find the group. Let’s not talk about it (jk it was JJ and we’ve been knowing)

Current/Past RP Accounts. hutchingsb, brighidnolan, achillesgrieves

IN CHARACTER

Character. Michael

Are you comfortable with killing off your character. I sure am, pals. In fact, in the long run, I don’t think Michael should survive. I think he is too muddled in hypocrisy and his own arrogance to not be killed eventually. Especially if history repeated itself and Zadkiel killed him.

What drew you to this character.

When I was a second semester senior in college (arguably the worst time in my life) I was finishing my degree in philosophy. While everything else went to shit, I took this truly incredible class called the Problem of Evil. I got lowkey obsessed with the concept of this ‘problem of evil’ and what it means for the existence of God. Michael is, in a lot of ways, this discussion in character form. Throughout the roleplay, Michael will have to come to terms with the idea that it’s incredibly hard to be a God type figure and be morally good. And that dynamic excites the fuck out of me y’all.

More than just this philosophical idea that I would literally go feral for, Michael is such a complex character. There are depths to him that just writing this app I got to uncover, and I think that will carry on through writing him always. There is so much potential there, and so much characterization to uncover that I don’t think I could ever tire of the archangel. This being fucks y’all

Plots.

QUIS UT DUES. Who is like God? History repeats itself. Michael’s rise in the ranks and desperation for both mortals and demons to bend the knee to him shows this. He is not so unlike the figurehead he struck down. He will be forced to make choices that have to be made and enforce punishments that will seem to others merciless. The question truly is how does one become god-like without becoming God-like? What made God so wrong? What made it necessary for Michael to cut Him down? And does Michael even have the ability to notice the difference between the two? The answer, folks, is hell nah.

DEATH RIPENS. ONE NEEDS DEATH IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO HARVEST THE FRUIT. The fall of God gave Michael the first taste of peace since he can remember. Centuries of carving out punishments and protection means that the archangel has dealt with death before, but it has never soothed him. It has only ever added to his despondency. So when he moved to cut down his own God, he figured the feeling would be much of the same. An intense sense of duty to all creatures and nothing more. The shock he felt at the momentary calm was enough to make him pause. And he is carrying that into his position of King. This idea of death as an action that ends with peace sits in the back of his mind. And it is hardening him into something crueler than he can recognize.

THE APPALLING STRANGENESS OF THE MERCY OF GOD. Arrogance is almost second nature to the archangel. His pride and his self-worth have become tied into this idea of him becoming a better king, a better version of God. But Michael is also in for a harsh awakening when he has to realize that his idea of merciful, the standard he held God to, isn’t actually all that fair and just. How will he handle coming to terms with the fact that he cannot always be “merciful” and does this make him a hypocrite? If he raised a sword against his Father because He was not merciful, how will he come to terms with the realization that he, as this God-like figure, cannot be supremely good? Will he even be able to realize it at all, and what will push him to that edge?

BROTHER, THE CORD TO THIS WORLD IS A FRAYED ROPE. More than ever, Michael needs his brothers. And, more than ever, he cannot let them in. Michael has always held his position higher than his relationships, but it is more apparent now than ever. He wants the respect from his brothers, because he knows if they can kneel before him so can anyone. But that desire is sharply contrasted by his need for their earnestness. He did not realize the weight their voices held inside of his head until he could no longer hear them freely. I would love to play with this dynamic of Michael feeling isolated and alone without his brothers to act as a soundboard for his thoughts versus believing if he shows his hand too much to them he cannot be respected. This relationship epitomizes Michael’s struggle with finding his footing as a leader and not just a follower of God.

THEN YOU KISSED ME—I FELT HOT WAX ON MY FOREHEAD. Michael’s relationship with Zadkiel is going to cause me physical pain. Zadkiel is the only person who can truly understand the emotional state that Michael has existed in for millennia. He is the only person who has dealt with the conditional love that God had when loving a tool he could wield. And, as a result, Michael has acted the same way towards Zadkiel as God did towards him. His love is conditional on Zadkiel following his orders. But he has held him in high esteem, sought him out, wanted him by their side. There is a bond there that cannot be touched. Zakiel is their reflection in so many ways, and it hurts to look in that mirror. There is this push in pull, that for so long has been for the better but might be souring now in the wake of Michael’s actions. Where he originally could not be soft, could not be vulnerable, in front of the cherubim despite how much it would help him, he really cannot now. He cannot show himself weak to Zadkiel—in the same way God could not to Michael. It is fully a product of how they both have been loved by God, and it does the pair of them injustice. Following the fall of God, Michael has distanced himself from Zadkiel because of how much he sees himself in the other. The weakness he thinks he sees in Zadkiel is just the weakness he sees himself, but his arrogance can’t let him recognize that fully. So instead, he pushes the angel away. Makes the gap between them almost unbreachable, until he breaks again and needs the validation of someone he is constantly searching for that conditional love. Just like he did with God. Zadkiel’s hurt is the biggest doubt that tugs at Michael’s soul. It’s the thing that lets the thought ‘I made a mistake’ keep coming back to him. I would love to see the few moments of “weakness” where Michael allows Zadkiel—and only him—to see the real him especially in a counterpoint to him holding the cherubim at a distance.

I SENSED IN MYSELF A POTENTIALITY FOR CORRUPTION THAT TOOK MY BREATH AWAY. Viktoria is a mistake, but not one he’s ready to admit. Michael’s concept of love is well and truly fucked, because he has only known love from God. And mostly God had conditions for love that were based solely on when Michael acted most as a sword—something inanimate—and not as something conscious and feeling. So when the flicker of something akin to lust flared to life upon looking at Viktora, Micahel mistakes it for love. Or, at the very least, affection. He wants her gaze on him, wants her smiles. So much so that he cannot look through the careful veneer she has crafted. It’s a level of foolishness that he has not ever had to deal with before. Never even known existed, because his concept of love has never involved this kind of ‘love’.

I TOO A CARNIVOROUS LAMB. In a completely selfish turn of events, I think Michael’s relationship with Salome might be the one of the few times that they can show how successful they are. In this period of doubt and chaos, Michael keeps coming up short and having to put on a brave face. But in their dealings with Salome, they are in their element. They can feel the power he used to have as the weapon in God’s right hand when they deals with the demon. They can feel their power. And that’s probably the reason they seeks her out so often. To feel the comfort in something known. To feel useful, powerful, correct.

IN-DEPTH

Motivation.

LIKE MOST MISERY, IT STARTED WITH APPARENT HAPPINESS. In the beginning, Michael’s sense of duty was unfailing. His motivations started and ended with following God’s word. And while his heart may have whispered softly at rebellion and betrayal in the face of an unjust God, he didn’t dare take heed to any of it. Now, he misses that easy calm that caming with knowing one's duty. He misses the simplicity of following orders. He does not wish to return to being a tool for someone else, but god was it easier.

THE PAIN, THE BEAUTY: EQUALLY ACUTE, EQUALLY TRANSFIXING. The present is a chaotic time for Michael. There is blood on their hands, doubt in their heart, and all they can do is show their kingdom a solemn face. He struggles to keep the facade of this all knowing, all understanding figure head that he just slaughtered. It’s so damn hard when the chorus of ‘did you do wrong’ almost drowns out his thoughts. Michael, in his current situation, craves a validation of his actions that very few can give them. And maybe, he craves something a little more too.

IT MEANT TO CONSUME, TO ASSIMILATE, TO BECOME GOD. What comes next for the King of Caelum? There is ambition there, that lives just under the surface. Something that has maybe always been there, setting ablaze his soul, but he has never been ready to put a name to it. He still isn’t able to name it, but the threads of it are starting to work their way around him. He knows of mortals, of their fickle natures and how they cannot be left to govern themselves. He knows of demons, of their cruelness and how they all function better when they bow their heads to one person. That person used to be God, but Michael is starting to realize how it could—no, should be him. Because Michael remembers what it was like to be adored. God showed favor to many an angel. It was clear in His doting hand and soft words. Cassiel knew it in His allowance of her beauty. Arael knew it in God’s soft sighs. But it was perhaps Michael who knew it best. There is more love in the carpertener for their hammer than in their work. More adoration in the painter's brush than in the creation they makes. Something deep and dark in Michael craves that love again. Ambition feels almost unheard of in the hierarchy he is used to, but there it is, sitting at the base of his chest. And it will likely be the death of him.

Traits.

HEROIC. Inspiring, brave, damn good at his job

CONSTANT. Calm in the face of chaos, unwavering in all actions

UNDERSTANDING. More merciful than he should be jk unless

ARCHAIC. Stick in the mud, old fashioned, proper. A pain in the ass to deal with.

PROUD. When God put you on a pedestal for that long it’s really hard to climb down yo

CRITICAL. I mean

SAMPLE

“all gods who receive homage are cruel.

all gods dispense suffering without reason.”

HOW TO FORGE A WEAPON

FIGURE 1.

It means something to be made. To be created in the eyes of God. To become something more, something good, something holy and something full of righteousness. All because God deemed it to be so. Around him, his brethren understand this. They feel it deep within themselves, as each and every one of them is handcrafted. But Michael is different. He is not simply made, because he is a weapon.

And, by God’s own hand, Michael is forged.

FIGURE 2.

God molds him.

That he holds on to. The one truth he knows more than anything. God makes him. He makes him a weapon. Molds him into a sword. He crafts Michael solely as a tool to do His bidding, but He makes him all the same. So Michael follows without thought. A gift to his creator.

Because a weapon only does.

They spends days upon days in practice, in battle. Besting angel upon angel. With every win, they sees God smile, and something warms sparks into life deep in the cold of their chest. Something physical. Something hot. It sets his body ablaze, empassions him to try more, to push harder. Michael flips the sword out of the grasp of his opponent, recognizing the move coming two steps before it happens. He doesn’t have to think, he only has to do.

He’ll put a name to this feeling eventually. Later he will learn to understand what the fire in their soul means. But for now, he just stands in awe of his Father’s smile—a smile that is only for them and theirdeeds—and the warmth that it causes. It is the start of something dangerous for, what God fails to realize, that, out of nothing but sheer carelessness, He has taught his weapon to want.

And that? It’ll be the death of Him.

FIGURE 3.

He’s younger than he cares to admit and God gives them a bird. The world is still new. Bright and green in its creation. It’s perfect, Angels sing. Michael wants to agree but the mortals have already shown the treachery of their nature. And he has already learned how to cut down those who might have lifted their hand in blasphemy.

(Eve has taken the apple, Michael sharpens their sword.)

The bird is a falcon, and Michael names her Brenley. She is built for speed and her talons feel as sharp as the sword on his hip. He thinks he loves her, this fiercely delicate creature. She is his and he, in turn, hers. They travel the world together, witness the artistry and destruction God’s newest creations unfold. Michael stands an impartial beacon, watching it all.

Theoretically they know that Brenley is a test, as all things are with God. It is Michael’s first chance to deal with death. God showing him how mortality takes and takes and there is no stopping it.

But birds live years. So they have time. They push the thoughts of tests and traps and their own shortcomings to the back of their mind.

Brenley does not have years. She has only five and they are desperately short in the face of a millennia.

With thoughts of death and endings locked away, he enters the world of man, a bird by his side. The moment is like any other. Nothing different from any number of times Michael has walked among the mortals. He is still learning of how crooked their nature is and yet how soft they can be. It still makes him smile. Brenley makes a single sound, a warning Michael does not understand, so their smile does not falter. Eyes find the bird, high amidst the trees, as the sound reaches their ears. A long low whistle, and then a snap. An arrow flies through the sky. It’s rudimentary, human made, but it does it’s job. Brenley stills.

And then? Then she falls.

Like a rock, the bird drops from the sky. Her wings tucked to her, a nearly perfect and endless fall. Except it does. End. She hits the ground with a sound, sickening and hollow. He rushes to her side, but it’s too late.

There is no life left in her.

There is a softness in his features and wetness in his eyes when he turns to the Father. The broken body of what once was settled gently in his hands. Michael is still too new to learn how to steel their face into the mask of iron befitting of the weapon they are. They don’t even know to try. He knows at least not to beg. He’s seen angel, mortal and demon beg God time and time again. Michael has seen the answer that follows. Michael has been the answer that follows.

So instead he asks. A simple word.

“Please.”

God just smiles and shakes his head. A solemn but distinctive no. There is a scream that wretches its way through his body, but when he opens his mouth, it does not come out. But it is not for the loss, this noise that threatens to deafen him. It is for the foolishness in thinking he might change God’s mind. The stupidity in thinking he could be more than an angel formed blade.

There is no thought, no desire in steel. Nothing but the familiar cold of the pommel and a strong sense of duty.

Michael straightens his back, rigid and iron like. He buries a bird.

It’s the first time Michael truly deals in death. It’s the first time he lets death touch him. Later, when he’s picking away at the pieces of his soul, he’ll wish he’d never let it reach that deep. Because wound tightly around his heart, death holds tight.

It may never let them go.

FIGURE 4.

He remembers every lesson he has ever learned at God’s side. The ones that were easy are sweet and simple. The ones that came hard, something darker and richer. He remembers the ones that tasted bittersweet. He remembers victory and failure. And he remembers the Father’s smile when Michael had pleased Him. There are whispers amongst his brethren. They fall silent when they approach, but they do not sit at God’s right side for nothing. He hears them, and their discontent. They think he does not understand, and maybe they are right.

But what they have failed to realize is that Michael never forgets. Not even a single moment.

And yet, he still asks.

The girl is only three and Michael cannot find the logic behind it. There are no sins that weigh down her soul, no wrong doings she is being held to. Her parents even are good people, loyal to God. All that means nothing but it causes the sting they feel upon looking at her to vibrate deep within them. There is no reason for her death beside the abject horror of it. All Michael can see when he looks at her is a bird plummeting to the ground, wings held too close. And when she cries, he can hear the sinking thud of something so very mortal slipping between his fingers. The sound of a bird that hit the ground.

So he asks, the want burning him up from the inside.

God just smiles and shakes his head.

A solemn but distinctive no.

Something inside of Michael breaks and he does not know how to fix it. Because God did not teach him this lesson. He must learn it on his own.

FIGURE 5.

At the end, it is not himself who needs convincing but the Cherubim by his side. Some of him has known this ending and its inevitability since the moment he first craved one damning smile. Michael just wishes it would hurt Zadkiel a little less. Wishes he could have understood the crueller nature of their Father—how it’s only ever led Zadkiel to pain—so much sooner. ‘Poor Zadkiel’, he’ll think, instead of ‘poor Michael’.

(He forces his brethren to withstand the weight of his emotions as well as their own.)

“Help me finish this.” It wants to be a command, Michael is so good at commanding. But in the shadow of what is about to come, he cannot stop himself from asking. He needs Zadkiel on his side, needs him to understand this is right.

This is right.

This is for the best.

Michael must kill God.

There is one small nod, one small validation, and it soothes the frantic beating of his heart. The thing that started this journey in the first place. It does not go unnoticed to him that it is something else, someone else, that finally settles them into action. He turns from the Cherubim, Zadkiel’s job is done. The doors swing wide on his command.

He is a weapon, forged for duty without mercy, and that is how he stands before Him. The blade to His throat comes quickly. Michael knows His every move before it comes. This is his Father, this is who first held a sword against him. And Michael has never forgotten.

So God falls.

The thunder shakes the ground on which he stands. It should feel like a victory, but as he hauls in one short breath, Michael feels hollow. He mistakes it for peace.

And then he sees it, a flash of silver to follow the body of the Father. He knows the blade as Zadkiel’s just as he knows his own. Something dark and heavy settles around his heart.

Weak. He thinks, and the thought weighs heavier on his head than the crown he just won.

“half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers

real gods require blood.”

Extras

WINGS. From afar, Michael’s wings look soft and simple. A brilliant bronze and gold to rival that of his own weapon. But as one comes closer, it is clear that their wings are much more sinister in nature. Each “feather” is in fact a small, sharp weapon. The color of bronze fades way to the real metal. Michael’s wings, like all of him, are a weapon.

FIGHTING STYLE. At his side, Michael carries a sword. It has been his favored blade since gifted to him by God. It is more rapier than broadsword, and Michael favors a more elegant form of battle. He is a dueler by nature, the finesse of the craft allows for him to show off at one of the things he is most proficient at. But at the end of the day, Michael is a being made to destroy. Backed into a corner, he has the strength and fight to hold his own.

FASHION. There is an ease and simplicity to Michael’s style. Nothing is overstated. In fact, he looks almost subdued in the face of some of his brethren. But Michael knows his strengths, and it is the understated nature of his garments that draw the eye. Because, just when you think there is nothing to see, the intricate details of some fabric or the sparkle of something crystalline and expensive will catch the eye.

TAG. MOCKBLOG

#accepted #accepted: michael

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razorblade180 · 4 years

Text

Twin Snowflakes Pt3: Checkup

[Saph’s Home]

Terra:*washing dishes*

Ruby:*walking downstairs* Hey Terra, seen the twins?

Terra:In the garden training. Haven’t seen that spot get much love and attention since you and Maria.

Ruby:It’s a tranquil spot. Always helped with clearing my head; especially with the pregnancy thing. *rubs arm*

Terra:*stops scrubbing* Still....not sure about adoption?

Ruby:*groans*........it goes back and forth in my head from time to time. I think deep down Whitley wants someone running around the house; training Nicholas to be heir one day has started to consist of just riding through the streets of Atlas.

Terra:Maybe he just wants him to know the streets well? Hehehehe.

Ruby:The streets he’s been around since he was born? Pretty sure he has them memorized Terra.

Terra:Yeah....I was just trying to, ya know.

Ruby:*chuckles* I appreciate the thought. You think after all this time I would be able to make a decision but I’m still dragging my feet. Frankly I don’t deserve his patience.

Terra:It’s not about deserving anything. When you love someone you’ll do practically anything for them. That being said, waiting is only gonna make you feel worse about it. Maybe revisit the conversation with him?

Ruby:*slumps over*.....can I get a glass of water?

Terra:One water, coming right up.

She goes to turn back on the faucet but nothing came out. No hot or cold water no matter which way she turned the handles. A long sigh escaped her as Ruby tried to contain her laughter. This isn’t the first time this has happened.

Ruby:How many times do you think they accidentally freeze the pipes?

Terra:I should really learn to wash dishes before they come around. *sighs*

[Garden]

Summer and Nick stand in the center holding both hands while facing each other. Ice around the floor is melting in various spots and both of them are out of breath; Summer more than Nick. They let on hand go and point to ground with their combined one. A glyph from each of them appears several inches away from their feet.

Nick:You sure huff you wanna try again? You look winded.

Summer:*shaking* Look who’s talking. huff we can take a break if you want? I’m perfectly fine.

Nick:I guess we’re doing this the. *inhales*

Slowly the two glyph merge into one. The intricate details of their family crest starts to glow as small sketches of swords swirl around it at increasing speed. Before long the entire glyph starts to get brighter as a hand reaches out of it. The twins try to keep their focus as the touches the floor to pull more of its icy, armor clad body out of the summoning glyph. After a minute of complete focus both of them were speechless to see a helmet start to arise; a ghostly light showing where it’s eyes would be. Sadly that’s all they got to see before Summer’s vision started to glow and she dropped to her hands knees with Nicholas quickly kneeling to aid her. The dual summoning quickly faded.

Nick:Summer!!? Are you okay?

Summer:Damnit......just huff just give me a minute okay? I’m sorry...

Nick:.......I think that’s enough for today.

Summer:What? No I’m-

Nick:Completely exhausted from earlier and out of stamina. Your body can’t take much more; let’s call it a day. *smiles*

Summer:........*leans on him* Sigh, once again I’m holding you back.

Nick:Pfft as if. I’m tired too ya know?

Summer:But you could keep going if you really wanted to. The only reason you stopped was because of me. I can never keep up with you.

Nick:I wouldn’t be too sure about that.

He props her up for a moment and let’s her hair down. At this point it’s almost as long as Weiss’s was when she was young. Summer looks at him weirdly as he combs his fingers through it to straighten it out a bit.

Summer:What are you doing?

Nick:Proving a point. You say you can never keep up with me but in terms of who’s the better looking twin, I’m always gonna lose. *smiles*

Summer:Geez you’re so dumb. *smiles*

Nick:I’m just saying I don’t have half as many people looking at as you do. All that beauty and talented singing draws a crowd.

Summer:People look at me because they know it makes me uncomfortable. The boys that stair are daft and any woman is judging or obviously don’t understand that they’re barking up the wrong tree.

Nick:Yoy should really tell Val that. Pretty sure she’s still holding onto hope.

Summer:Like how you’re holding onto hope for her?

Nick:*mumbles* I’m not holding onto anything.

Summer:If you say so. I’d give anything to be as amazing as you.....

Nick:But then you would be good at singing, a genius at glyphs, super calculated.....

Summer:You’re some of those things.

Nick:If I try time dilations I always shock myself or run into a wall. I don’t remember you ever doing that.

Summer:Nope, I over extend my arm doing rapid sword strikes unlike- OW!!!!!!

Nick:*grabbing her nose* Why are you trying so hard to stop me from building your self esteem? Who does that?

Summer:Nicholas this hurts!!

Nick:Say that you’re important and strong.

Summer:What are we five!?

Nick:*pinches harder*

Summer:I’m important and strong! I’m important and strong!!!!!!

Nick:Was that so hard? *lets go* all you needed was motivation.

Summer:*rubs nose* You sound like mom; you even pinch like her too.

Nick:Hey.......

Summer:Sigh What?

Nick:.......I’m only this strong because I have you. You’re the best partner I could ever ask for. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise alright?

His words sounded rather serious then; like it was almost challenging to say. He turned his head away but Summer could tell he was trying not to get emotional in front of her. Showing his feelings have never been problem in his life; their mother encouraged it greatly along with side their father. Still there were few things both of them had a bit of trouble when it came to being opened about certain things. Anyone who knows their history could guess why this topic made him sensitive; why he tried so hard to always be there for her. There was a time where those days could’ve ended before they truly began.

Summer:Listen Nick......I’m fine okay? See? *smiling* happy camper and ready for anything. You can’t cheer me up if you get all sad. What type of hypocrisy is that!?

Nick:*snorts* You’re right, thanks Summer. I’m gonna start packing; No doubt Auntie is gonna want to have us home before her scroll starts getting blown up with messages. * leaves*

Summer:I’ll be inside in a minute. Can you make sure all my dust vials are accounted for?

Nick:Ugh, so high maintenanced....

Summer:I love you Nick!

Nick:I love you too you butt!

Summer:That’s not how you build self esteem!

Nick:No but it’s how big brothers act! *closes door*

Summer:*lays down* “I’m important and strong.....”

“You called me the best partner you could ask for. That you needed me in order to be strong. Those words you told me that day meant more to me than you realize. I just.....I just wished I believed them like you did. Maybe then things could’ve been different; things could’ve been better........”

[Schnee Manor]

Many things in Atlas change with the trends and technology; the manor is not one of those things. Fabulous interior and pristine pillows all the same since when Jacques ran everything. One major difference though, it feels like a home. The house that held three children seen as property and two very broken adults now houses a much more charming family; Weiss’s family.

Currently she sits on the foot of her bed putting on icy blue heels that matches the casual, knee high dress she has on. Getting ready for the day has become much easier ever since she made her hair shoulder length. In no time at all she was ready for her date.

Weiss:Ready babe?

Jaune:*in a tux* Yeah it’s just this tie is giving me a bit of trouble.

Weiss:All this time and bow ties are still kicking your but. Let me see. *starts tying it*

Jaune:I can tie them just fine. I just needed you in arms reach. *holds her by the waist*

Weiss:If you wanted me close then all you needed to do was ask. *rubbing his face* want a kiss from your loving wife or something?

Jaune:I’m fine with just looking into your eyes and falling in love with you all over again.

Weiss:*blushing* Yeah you’re getting a kiss. *leaning in*

Nick:*door frame* Ugh so gross, right Summer?

Summer:*behind him* Super gross, they should really get a room.

Ruby:I know right?

*trio snickering*

Jaune:Well I guess the kids are back. *smiling*

Weiss:Yep, all three of them.

Ruby:Hey!!!! What’s that supposed to mean?

Weiss:That you maintain child like spirit.

Ruby:*squints* Not sure how to take that.

Weiss:That’s what makes you the greatest. *hugs her* So how was hanging with your aunties you two?

Twins:Fun and completely chill!

Nick:*whispers* literrally....

Summer:*elbows him* Anyways, the two of you look nice; going on a date?

Jaune:Yeah, we were just about to head out. We actually didn’t think you’d be home this soon. Is everything okay?

Ruby:Yeah, just thought these two should get some time at home before school starts in a few days.

Summer:It kills me every time you say that.

Jaune:Not looking forward to it?

Summer:School is just prison with less nutritious food.

Jaune:You are.....not wrong

Weiss:Jaune!

Jaune:I mean..... she’s not hehehe. Just enjoy the time you have left sweetie.

Summer:I know I know, I just rather be doing other things I suppose. Like making a song or something.

Nick:Just do that now.

Summer:It’ll be about hating school.

Nick:Sweet, I’ll play bass. Mom can sing backup.

Weiss:*scoffs* Backup, we duet or I’m out.

Summer:Wow, I see how it is. Can’t take the idol out of the mother now can we? Won’t even support her own daughter from the side light. *fake crying* Fine, I see how it is.

Weiss:Okay you mini drama queen. *hugs her*

Summer:I’m slightly taller than you. *hugging back*

Weiss:*sniffling* I know, it’s so unfair. Both of you have outgrown the person who brought you into this world. I guess that what happens when I marry a small giant.

Jaune:I’m not even that tall, you’re just short.

Weiss:*pouts* Just for that you get to pay for my dessert.

Ruby:Oooo get me something!

Weiss:I mean since you’re all here we could just make the date into a family dinner.

Nick:Nah, don’t let us get in the way of your date. I was actually thinking about getting some rest. Maybe going for a stroll outside or actually-

Weiss:Do your winter break project in time?

Nick:*sweats* Whaaaat? I’m done with that.

Everyone:.......

Nick:I’m gonna go double check it though. *runs off*

Summer:The sad thing about all that is in theory, that project is supposed to take the entire winter break to complete. Watch him finish in like two days; wish I could work under pressure like that.

Ruby:Trust me, it’s a skill that’s a blessing and a curse. Weiss has made me so many cups of coffee when I stayed up cramming. I should probably head out now. Whitley is probably still working so maybe I’ll surprise him.

Summer:If that’s the case can you give me lift? I guess now is a good as a time as any to check with the base.

Her family eyes widened in surprise. Jaune walks forward and gently cups her face. Their matching cobalt eyes meet each other with slight concern before she also cups his face and gives him a warm smile.

Jaune:You sure you don’t want any of us there for that?

Summer:I’ll be fine, it’s basically a routine check up by now. Seriously, don’t worry about me.

Jaune:If you say can do it alone then I guess you can. But if you change your mind-

Summer:Trust me, after all I’ll be in the best hands possible.

Jaune:*looks at Weiss*

Weiss:She’s not wrong, but I don’t have to tell you that.

Jaune:Okay, call us when your done and text your brother that you’re going.

Summer:Consider it done. Let’s go auntie. *walks off*

Weiss:*frowning*

Ruby:Nuh uh, there will be none of that. Smile as Jaune is about to spoil you with every dessert imaginable while I’ll continue to be the number one aunt. Don’t tell Saph I said that. *leaving*

Jaune:I will!

Ruby:Uuuuugggggghhhhh!

Weiss:Sigh

Jaune:It’ll be alright. *holding her close* I mean she’s strong like her mother.

Weiss:Pretty sure it has more to do with her father’s resolve.

Jaune:As much as I would love to argue which one of us is better, let’s go eat instead.

Weiss:Another plan bad the brilliant tactician. I’ll grab my purse.

xxx

The ride to the base wasn’t long. Before long, Summer was giving Ruby one final hug before stepping through the gates and waving to any guard that greeted her. The mechanical hallways might as well be a second home to her. Oil and hot metal slowly come to her mind as the smell hits her nose from the the bottom vents. The constant clicking of the programs working diligently upstairs. Soldiers drinking their usual blend in the break room not too far from the restrooms near the right wing. At this point Summer could walk through this blind and still know where every water fountain is.

Down in the left wing was her destination; the laboratories where the finest minds can be found hard at work. Unfortunately they always seem to find the time to notice when she’s in front of their work space. Each set of eyes fixed on her in fear, interest, anger, or twisted curiosity; all but one professor and a doctor with a room closed off from the others for the upmost care. Summer quickly made her way through the door and was pleased to see her favorite doctor tinkering away in their soiled lab coat. The whiteish room littered with science equipment and highly advanced pods against th back wall. A door to right is currently closed.

Summer:Hi Dr. Polendina.

Penny:Gasp! Salutations little Schnee!!!! *hugging her* what a pleasant surprise indeed!

Summer:Crushing.....wheeze you’re crushing!!!!

Penny:Oh! *lets go* I’m sorry, you think I would be used to that by now.

Summer:You think I would be prepared to dodge by now. How have you been?

Penny:I’ve been swell. Recently I’ve been working on a some secret things for the military.

Summer:Does that explain the spot and higher temperature in this room? Making a bomb or something?

Penny:I’m not at liberty to say but I will tell you I’m running out of fire dust. So what brings you back to my home away from home; check up time already? *analyzing her*

Summer:Unfortunately.

Penny:Well let’s see if we can learn something new today. *locks door* I’ll get my tape recorded and everything set up while you get ready.

Summer nodded and started to undress until she was in a sports bra and compression shorts. Completely unladylike to most high class citizens of Atlas but she isn’t like average people. She couldn’t help but glance at a pod to see her reflection. Her face always bunched up at seeing all the puncture scars she has. Bellow her right rib, small ones on her thighs, a faded one on her left shoulder while she a couple more on her right arm, the soles of her feet and graze scar near her heart. At least her face was mostly untouched besides the slight scratch on her jaw line.

Thankfully most of these have faded dramatically due to age but she couldn’t help but wrap her arms around herself. Embarrassed to look at all her imperfections. Those thoughts quickly fled when Penny touched her shoulder smiling.

Penny:Beautiful as ever I see.

Summer:*smiling* Thank you.

Penny:As usual I’m putting these wires on you to check your vitals then you’re going into the second pod from the right.

Summer:Is there any reason you never put me in the first pod? *stepping into number two*

Penny:Sentimental value; I got made in it more or less. *looking at scroll* Your vitals are pretty normal. Well, except your temperature for obvious reasons. You know 93 degrees Fahrenheit means you should be experiencing hypothermia right?

Summer:So I’ve heard. Nature’s rules sort of doesn’t care about me.

Penny:We’ll see about that. I’m going to release a little bit of the dust know okay? Just remember to take calming breaths and relax. Also.....waffles.

Summer:What?

Penny:It’ll make sense soon. *pushes button*

The pod is sealed shut and a glowing white dust is dispersed inside. A bit of anxiety creeps it’s way through her body but Summer follows the direction to the letter and closes her eyes. It’s a waiting game for Penny as her patient slowly zones out. No better time to start recording the long she supposes.

Penny:Okay so this is entry log 72 I believe. Once again I’m running test on Summer Schnee to help with her...affliction. Eleven years ago the girl’s mother found the existence of an ice dust deposit far more pure and refined than anyone thought possible; currently known as diamond Dust. Studies over the years have granted less information than we desired but far from useless.

*looking through notes*

Penny:Cell preservation, cold fusion, absolute zero, suspended animation; all things that have greatly benefited from this discovery and even the promotion of healing has accrued in the subject. At age five Summer Schnee was caught in an Diamond Dust explosion due to its volatile natural. Several large pieces of the dust as well as a few shards were lodged into their body and the subject was blasted into a frozen lake. An event like this should lead to almost instant death yet she remains alive and relatively healthy.

Summer*:drifting off*

Penny:Blood samples have shown traces of the unique ice dust still flowing through her veins; could all this all be possible through the immediately use of her brother’s semblance to try and diminish the dust in her? Is it the cause other side of my patient? Medical research has found numerous draw backs for it though aren’t atypical for excessive dust exposure expect one. It appears diamond dust might have some sort of affect on the psyche. Multiple patients have come back after treatments explaining how their head felt cloudy or even slightly depressed; all symptoms faded in a few days.

Summer:Zzzzzzz

Penny:Is.....I think subject fell asleep? Strange, it doesn’t take much diamond dust to activate Shiva and the pod temperature is-

75 degrees Fahrenheit

Penny:Whoops! Let’s drop that down to around 40.

Summer:*hair turning white*

Penny:That’ll do it. *messing with recorder* Near death, hypothermia, lack of oxygen due to near drowning, blood loss; all things that can very well lead to brain damage or a mental health problem by themselves, yet no loss in any motor functions or brain activity I can see. With the addition of the dust maybe she’s just-

Thump!

Her train of thought was immediately broken. Green eyes met icy blue through the thick pod door. The sound of thumping kept happening rhythmically as her patient gently put her head against the glass repeatedly in boredom. The wires on her ripped off and on the floor.

Penny:Salutations! Ready for your check up?*smiles*

Shiva:Sigh, not this nonsense again..... Salutations my cybernetic warden.

Penny:This is a lab, not a jail. Also I’m a doctor and a scientist.

Shiva:You are a very cute and very expensive toaster oven with a conscience. Open.The.Door.

Penny:*writing* Patient B is still more aggressive and unfriendly unlike patient A.

Shiva:Are you even listening to me!? Also why am I B when I’m better than Summer!?

Summer:(can you say something that isn’t insulting to anyone?)

Shiva:Make me, if not then shut up and be quiet. The grown ups are talking.

Summer:.......

Penny:Shiva, do you by any chance know the breakfast item I said a several minutes ago?

Shiva:When was breakfast mentioned? You’ve been rambling to yourself since you messed with thermostat.

Penny:(Interesting.......)

She started pacing the room and examining Shiva. Her veins and scars glowed a faint blue in time with her breath. The way she was focused and more examining her surroundings showed some neat changes from Summer. Every movement she made was almost child like; constantly swaying and visibly annoyed at the locked door She breathed on the glass leaving frost. Soon after she started to smirk as she ran her nails down it. Letting her out would be a bad idea; her presence itself was reeking of danger. Penny was curious but far from stupid; not to mention a powerhouse. It’s one of the main reasons she is lead doctor and scientist to learn more about person called Shiva.

Shiva:You should really open the door. I would hate to break it down like last time.

Penny:This door is far stronger than the last one.

Shiva:You sound so confident.

Penny:Mrs.Xiao Long couldn’t make a dent with a maxed out punch. Even if you did get out nothing would happen. It’s way hotter out here than it is in there.

Shiva:God I’m gonna love the day all this preparation goes to shit. I’ll admit you’re charming but I hope you know I’ll most likely have to scrap you the day I eventually snuff out Atlas’s precious little snowflake once in for all. Gotta tie up loose ends. That includes your hus-

Penny:I would very much appreciate it if we kept things civil between us. Threatening each other won’t make this process shorter in the long run. *grabbing thermostat knob* So please refrain from talking about Professor Pine.

Shiva:Awww looks like I hit a nerve if that’s even possible with you. Listen, why would I ever make your life easier when you’re trying to do the impossible? I’m here to stay; Summer has no one to blame but herself for that. Maybe if she wasn’t so weak and useless then I wouldn’t have had to save her sorry ass from the lake.

Penny:Summer as told me you’ve mentioned this before. Shiva, what exactly are you?

Shiva:Isn’t that obvious yet?

Penny:???

Shiva:I’m me of course, someone that everyone should be wary of hehehe. Or who knows what might happen!?

The lab itself slowly got a chill as Shiva started laughing to herself. Her eyes and hair started to glow a bit brighter while the inside of the pod started to freeze. Penny gasped as the temperature inside was starting to drop. Immediately she raised it back to 75 which stopped the chill in its track. Shiva knelt down and started to feel weak.

Shiva:Hmph, what happened to my checkup? Too scared to continue?

Penny:The pod was recording everything I needed, including vitals and brain activity. The wires you took off was just for show.

Shiva:Well isn’t someone just prepared for everything? Let’s hope being a widow is one of them.

Penny:Sigh goodbye Shiva.

Shiva:I prefer, see you later.....

Eyes close and hair goes back to pale blonde; even her veins stop glowing. Soon Penny is greeted with cobalt blue eyes and a very ashamed look. Penny opens the door and is spooked for Summer to fall right into her arms.

Summer:I’m sorry she said those things.

Penny:I’ve heard and felt worse. So you were listening the whole time? Can she hear me now.

Summer:No, too hot and tired. Speaking of tired....can I lay down for a second?

Penny:Of course, take a break then you’ll continue the rest with my hus- *giggles* the Professor; I’ll never get used to that.

Summer:Think you learned anything useful?

Penny:Hopefully, I have a bunch of theories.

Summer:Good, that’s a relief......zzzzzzzz

Penny:*smiles* Out like a light.*clicks recorded* note to self, be wary of temperatures in varying locations. *looks at pod*

*slightly cracked glass*

Penny:Failure to do so could be.....fatal.

Part 2

#rwby #rwby twin snowflakes #nicholas schnee #summer schnee #terra cotta arc #ruby rose #rwby wild rose #penny polendina #rwby data farms #weiss schnee #jaune arc #this took longer than expected #saphron arc

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severelyimpossiblecrown · 4 years

Text

Do you know what to-day is?

It’s our anniversary. Well it was yesterday. But instead of mourning you like I did last year at my shithole job, I hung out with a friend who actually cares about me having a nice drive out during the end of the world.

We broke up two years ago. It still hurts. Granted, not as much as it did when we pushed each other to a breaking point, but the cuts still itch.

I loved you like no one else. Not like Tezra, Jasmine, Rita, Shayla, Emily, Alicia, Amber, Chadley, and so many others. From crush to unrequited love to actual love or relationships or situationships or “I’ll just fuck you for now until I find someone better” arrangements. You were gonna be my wife. I was already calling you my wife to my peoples.

I LOVED YOU. I still love you.

It sucks too. Because I realistically have to come to terms with the fact that you’re gone. I can try to hunt and stalk and masturbate to you all I want. I could indulge in poisonous fantasies of your return. However, even if you are not in hatred with me anymore, you’re probably never coming back.

Knowing you, you’ve finally found the someones who can finally take care of you in every way you need and I’m just...here.

I feel stronger in the way that happens when painful lessons are learned. I have someone who would prolly be my wife right now if I asked. Things could be much, much worse.

Then I remember that I’ve written way more about you than her. That the ghost of you keeps me from getting closer to other partners who might actually see and appreciate me. Things could also be much, much better.

I often think about talking to you on IG. It’s the only place I can maybe still reach you but the last time we talked didn’t go that well. It was a bad idea. Just like it was a bad idea to register to your art/erotica site a couple of weeks ago.

Goddamn feelings. I just want to get to the fever of you out of me so I can be even better than I was when we were still family. I love you like blood. Lord knows I gave enough to prove it. I wanted to show not that I could be a hero but that I was worthy of someone I held in such high esteem.

Losing you sucked. Still waking up without the person I used to talk to everyday for 11 years is hard. Worser still because you’re not dead.

All can can do I is pick myself up and realize that as much as all that love mattered and still matters, my codependent relationship with the death of us and the malaise contained therein isn’t worth investing in anymore. You seem to have moved on so easily and I need to rise to the challenge of continuing to do the same.

No matter how you may feel about me now, you always me wanted to be a stronger person and that’s who I’m gonna be. I have such precious little time left. Wherever you are, I hope you are happy and loved. I’m very sad I’m no longer apart of that but we all must accept the consequences of our actions and shitty decisions.

I love you, Wubba. I always will.

#letters #heartbreak #confessional #prose?#shedding

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princecharmingtobe · 5 years

Link

Man it’s 7am and I haven’t slept and I’m trying to stay awake another hour so I can see about getting to the digestive care center today because I’m dying or something~ So instead of sleeping I made a playlist for my D&D character and their boyfriend and now I’m gonna like, go through why each song is there/what it means to me. Woo!

1. Beauty and the Beast - Well, Cordy, my character, is an emaciated-looking drow with mushrooms growing out of their body and is actually slowly becoming one with a sentient fungus infecting them, so... kind of beastly. And they certainly consider themself to be a monster even though they always deny it. And Paetyr, their human boyfriend, is very beautiful and kind. There are also actual lyrics in the song that suit them well. Really the whole song describes the start of their relationship very well. They knew each other for less than a week before getting together because they’re idiots.

2. About You Now - Cordy started their life as The Guardian with little to no emotion, and believed they were not supposed to have emotions. It’s apparently part of like, a curse or something placed on the Guardian power. So when they start feeling things for Paetyr they fiercely rejected it. But in the end they learned that they can and should have emotions and they decided they wanted to keep loving him (though they’ve never said the word) and see where it takes them.

3. Teach Me How To Be Loved - This one is good for both of them, because while Cordy has no experience with any kind of relationship at all because their memory only goes back a few months, Paetyr’s had a really hard life that left him mostly isolated and with shit self-esteem and probably some trust issues. So they’re both learning how to love and be loved. Also apparently Paetyr’s convinced that his partners will find someone better and realize he wasn’t worth their time so he’s learning to get over that idea. Hopefully.

4. Love Like You - More on Cordy learning how to have emotions and how to love, while dealing with feeling like deep down they’re just a monster, especially when compared to Paetyr, who seems so good and kind (though I don’t thinks that way about himself).

5. Your Guardian Angel - Well, what can I say? A Guardian’s gotta guard, be it the whole world or just the idiot boy they’re in love with. Before they loved him they still wanted to protect him. And he hates it. He hates when they talk about protecting him. But they insist on it, because it’s what they are. Part of it, I think, is they have different ideas of what protecting someone means...

6. I Found - Getting into the more somber sounding songs. Cordy’s honestly still not convinced they were ever meant to feel things, especially not love. And on top of everything, they learned about their own lifespan in relation to Paetyr’s. They didn’t know anything about elves, or humans, or anything really at the start of the game. So when they met Paetyr and the party they assumed they were all around the same age, and would live about the same amount of time. So yeah, learning that Paetyr would likely die centuries before them was devastating. But they’re trying to make the most of their time with him and learning as much from it as they can.

7. Spectrum - Yeah, as mentioned before, Cordy didn’t really have much in the way of emotions before meeting Paetyr. That’s pretty much all this one is here for.

8. I’ll Stand By You - Even when they’re not on the best of terms, when they see each other suffering from things not related to their relationship they tend to be very tender and supportive of each other. I can’t speak too much for Paetyr because he’s not my character, but Cordy is really good at putting their feelings aside to comfort Paetyr when he’s upset. Of course if he knew that’s what they were doing he wouldn’t have it lol

9. Die Young - Eyyyy we’re back on that lifespan angst! Being an elf in love with a human is hard, man!

10. Like I’m Gonna Lose You - And some more~

11. As Long As He Needs Me - Cordy has a really hard time seeing their own value vs Paetyr. He’s so much better, kinder, smarter, more important... And they’re too scared to tell him when he’s done something to hurt or upset them because they don’t want to hurt him, or else find out he doesn’t really care... if you’ve seen how he acts with them you’ll know their fears are pretty unfounded, but they fear anyway and so they keep hiding their feelings and acting ok and loyal to him.

12. No Light, No Light - Yeah the idiotic tendencies of the previous song are not without consequence. It hurts more and more but they become more and more desperate to keep him and think that in doing so means keeping their problems and desires to themself and it’s slowly killing them. Idiot.

13. Heavy In Your Arms - And it continues. This one does recognize though that Cordy’s behavior, keeping things to themself but enough leaking for Paetyr to notice... it’s hurting him too because he can tell something’s wrong, that they’re hurting and that it’s somehow because of them but they won’t talk to him about it, they won’t even acknowledge it to him. But there’s at least a somewhat happy note around the end. “I was a heavy heart to carry but he never let me down, when he held me in his arms, my feet never touched the ground” which I see as symbolizing him starting to get through to them and them realizing he’s been loving and caring for them this whole time and they’ve just been refusing to see it because of how scared they are.

14. Just Give Me A Reason - Very accurate to recent events. Cordy convinced themself that Paetyr didn’t really want to be with them and was only staying with them because he always puts others first. It doesn’t help that he has another partner whom he gets along with much easier, and who he is engaged to. So they figure “well, obviously he’d rather be with him than us” (they refer to themself in the plural because of reasons). Meanwhile Paetyr is practically begging them to talk to him about their feelings and they can’t see it.

15. I’m Not Calling You A Liar - Well, he did finally get through to them, at least a little bit, but they still have trouble believing everything he says to them. It’s partially his own fault, because he’s kept important things from them in the past to keep them from worrying, which of course only made them worry more because they could tell he was keeping something from them. So yeah, this is a two-way problem. But even though they feel like he’s always keeping something from them, they love him too much to do anything about it other than continue to fret and slowly kill themself -.-

16. Water Under The Bridge - Thought of this song when they had their recent blow up/screaming match in which Paetyr threatened to leave not just them but everyone and everything that makes him happy. Leaving them they could accept, they were practically waiting for it. But they couldn’t allow him to leave everything that made him happy. And in the end he didn’t leave them either, and they both want to keep trying because despite it all they both still love each other.

17. The Scientist - Well, he is an artificer... Thought this seemed like a good song for them coming down from the high emotions of the screaming match on the cliff and trying, once again, to make things work.

18. You Are The Moon - Funny thing about this song. I first thought of it when they first got together as being from Cordy to Paetyr, because he thought (and it seems still thinks) very poorly of himself. He doesn’t understand that he’s a very attractive man, fun, kind, and smart (and yet so dumb). Yeah his self-esteem is in the shitter for sure. But oddly, I think it has been improving. But then Cordy’s has been plummeting. Not because of him, just getting caught up in their own dumb thoughts. But Paetyr thinks they’re beautiful (and hot, his words) and loves them, so it has reversed, being more from Paetyr to Cordy.

And there it is, their playlist, explained in a totally incomprehensible way.

#Cordy the Spore Druid

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bisexualstokes-archive · 5 years

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Is it too personal or may I ask what the long story that got you back into George is?

honestly i could use this ask as a way to really sit back and reflect on what’s going on in my life so yeah here’s the story:

(warnings for depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts)

so going way back to my junior year of high school, september 2009-may 2010, that was like…one of the happiest years of my life. I had some really great friends at the time, family life (from what i remember) was more or less going okay (although i remember my parents were pissing me off when i was in driver’s ed), i was getting out more, things changed in my youth group and over all it was just a great year?? and CSI?? Season 10?? was so good??

and then my senior year of high school started, I got into some shit with not just one, but TWO of my friends, one of which I was like..in love with, and I was getting scared because Things Were Changing and I had all this pressure on me to get a job, go to college, etc, etc. (I also did start a job in the summer between my junior and senior years and I had a crush at this job and our relationship got Complicated and we never did anything, I sort of pushed him away cause I thought I was too young to be with someone who was a couple years older than me, and I was just scared about it in general.) But I was still watching CSI. I still loved it. I still loved Nick Stokes/George Eads.

And then came my first year of college, again, still watching CSI, and I was trying–oh god I was trying so hard to keep my anxiety under control as everything was changing, I was in a brand new school where I knew like…nobody (well a few people here and there–I went to a popular community college in my vicinity so I did see a few people from high school) and again getting this pressure to succeed in college cause college just wasn’t a thing people did in my family–not until everyone began to realize how important it was (some of my cousins went back to school and got degrees and such)

and I was also trying to do my best to keep in touch with my friends, trying to mend the cracks in the two friends I had beef with, but another friend–who I had since seventh grade at that point–and I were getting closer and closer (she’s my absolute BEST friend at this point in my life tbh and uhm yeah I don’t know where I would be without her but I’ll get to that later)

and I was still watching CSI, still in love with nick, etc etc–but I was also getting into another obsession…Doctor Who

Sophmore year of college?? I think this is where depression was starting to get to me a bit.

I had absolutely NO idea what I wanted to with my life. Family still pressuring me to succeed, things were getting Complicated with that guy at work, I started another job–so I was working two jobs at one point in my life and going to school which is uh Fun. I can’t remember much but I do remember in general being a bit freaked out over having to change schools cause that was a New thing and I was not good with change (because of my anxiety)

SO then we come to my junior year of college, and so began my dangerous Apathy phase, where I didn’t give a shit that I was failing tests because I wasn’t studying because Doctor Who basically consumed my life. I didn’t care about myself–It’s such a little thing, but I stopped brushing my hair at one point and wasn’t taking care of my body the way I should have–I had never gone to the doctor since my high school days, so I never had regular check-ups

things at this point had ended with my first job and I’ve never seen or spoken to that one guy that I have Regrets with–to this day I wish we gave it a shot tbh, cause he seemed like a geuninely caring, nice guy? (not without his faults of course)

and also uh…I think this was the year I stopped having a regular period.

I’m talking like…I didn’t have a period for months, and I sure as hell wasn’t pregnant

I also stopped watching CSI, for many reasons, for the way GSR was being handled, for the way Nick was getting the promise of all these interesting storylines but NEVER DID and watching Nick/George obviously going through his own shit (cause he definitely gained weight in that season–and NO JUDGEMENT FROM ME TBH cause I’m, uh…technically classified as obese myself), and again, I was also SUUUPER obsessed with doctor who to the point where it was probably hindering my life

at some point in 2015 i did get my period again and was like “OH LOOK I’M ALL GOOD ON THAT FRONT” probably cause this is when I entered my first almost-relationship, a frequent customer at the store I used to work at asked me out and it didn’t work out in the end cause he was um…idk just Not For Me (and a gross ass kisser) but then after that one period, it disappeared again.

OH but in 2015, when CSI ended, I did watch the finale–Immortality even though I was SUPER pissed about Nick being gone (I did go back and watch just his final scene and cried like a baby) and then proceeded to rewatch grave danger for the first time in years at that point–I actually documented that on my blog here lol (and I did all of that instead of studying for a test that I failed the next day lmao)

so blah blah blah had tons of shit going on until 2016, which was possibly the lowest point of my life in terms of depression/anxiety, even though I had finally graduated college, I got a full time job (the same one I’m in now, three years later, very successful I might add–I just got promoted last year and I’m held in very high esteem by many of my superiors so it gets happy)

but in this full time job, I was moved to third shift for a few months, and was forced to work with this one woman who I like DESPISED–although not completely at the time, but to this day I really just can’t stand her (thankfully she quit lol)

so the third shift transition was rough enough, but at least I was into a new show–Person of Interest and I was having the Time of My Life with it but it really did start getting me to think about my depression and mental health, which up until that point I had been ignoring, despite that one friend I mentioned earlier having pointed out to me many times throughout 2015-2016 that I needed to go to therapy (and I just didn’t think it would work, I didn’t want to do it, my social anxiety was screaming FUCK NO the whole time)

also the trump election thing happened and uhm yeah there was that. Got into a LOT of heated discussions…and lost like ALL respect for my step-father (who you’ll still see me refer to as “dad” but i’m pointing out he’s my step father in this instance because I would be ashamed to be blood related to him)

and despite our uh, troubles, my dad did try to get me to watch Macgyver, telling me that “hey, nick stokes is in it!”

but my depressed dumbass was like “oh really? nice” AND THEN DIDN’T WATCH IT LIKE A FUCKING MORON

and on top of that, my house got INFESTED with mice and my parents did nothing outside of setting up mouse traps but it was getting to a point where we found like…five mice in a day and I was starting to see them in the daylight (which is a sign you have an INFESTATION) and ALL of my belongings were getting mouse shit and pee on them (my room is right next to the kitchen) and I ended up purging A LOT of things (including a binder of friendship from the one friend I had trouble with in senior year–which man that hurt to get rid of ((side note, you know what really fucking hurts the most about breaking away from that friend? we’ve known each other since pre-school and I mentioned in tags before about how we do still talk and shit and i am one of her wedding bridesmaids and shit but yeah…not like it used to be)))

and i was getting to a point where I honestly?? just wanted?? to die??

I would say it was like, late 2016 where I was even starting to think of scenarios where I could just…like…disappear? kill myself? I just did not want to exist anymore

2017 came along, fresh start, I kept telling myself. Still had mice in the mouse, but I was fully aware of my mental health issues at this point, and was starting to really listen to my friend more and more, really starting to consider going to therapy (especially now that i had health insurance)

(and also I was beginning to realize I have Feelings for this friend as well–although I gotta wonder if it’s actual romantic love and just not intense friendship cause we really are close friends but like…I could also see us as more? if she were open to it? but I know she doesn’t feel that way about girls and she’s got her own shit to deal with, and i respect that so I never push it or bring it up)

and then? twin peaks: the return came along. Season 3, episode 3, “Call for Help” a fucking masterpiece of an episode and something just…CLICKED in me. Something made me realize, I need to call for help

and so I did.

2017 was the year of therapy, in which I talked about a lot of the shit above, and then I stopped going in I think 2018? when the therapist moved away, but my sessions were getting farther and farther apart anyway, and I felt like I was finally in a better place in my life. I had more coping mechanisms, more awareness of how to handle myself, and I began to realize I really needed to take care of myself more

so i went to the doctor for the period thing, seems like it was some hormonal imbalance cause i was put on birth control to get my hormones back in order (this is my first month off of them so fingers crossed it still works) and by the time august/september rolled around?

I started writing again

and I’m not talking fan fiction, I suddenly had the inspiration to write this original story idea I have for a series that was HEAVILY inspired by CSI–in which the third book in the series is about a guy getting buried alive (and a girl trying to save him but doesn’t because ANGST but that’s another long ass story lol)

which, naturally, made me want to watch grave danger again, for the first time in three years. and then…I suddenly wanted to watch more csi?? from the very beginning??

and so I watched the first four episodes of season 1 again, and Nick/George was back in my life again. And it felt SO FREAKING GOOD.

Then, I watched Macgyver because I wanted to see new George content, and immediately fell in love with jack

Caught up with Macgyver and then finished my csi rewatch, this time watching all of season 13 (which I STILL HAVE MIXED FEELINGS OVER just like season 9) and 14-15 (which i regret not watching when it first aired cause it’s SO GOOD)

and I’m not saying like…Nick/Jack/George is the sole cause of my happiness, the cure for my depression/anxiety (cause that shit never goes away, you just learn to manage it better), nor is he the sole love of my life or anything, but…he’s a huge part of who I am, because in those years, when I was struggling, I lost myself. I lost Nick. But now I found myself again, I re-discovered my passion for Nick Stokes, and i’m just as happy as I was back in 2009/2010, and life is just so good

#aaaaaaand now i'm crying #just...fuck man #i may have gone into uh...TOO much detail here #but honestly maybe not even enough?#but yeah trust me when I say #i'm happy to have nick/jack/george in my life #cause you know that quote nick says about warrick #about warrick being a huge source of strength?#that's how nick is for me #personal #nonny #about me #2019 #reflections

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avatarxfrozen-blog · 6 years

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Wind Beneath My Wings

Well, this is ridiculously fluffy. Inspired by Idina Menzel’s version of the song. All I can think of is these two whenever I hear it. I don’t usually include song lyrics, but for this one I just had to.

Anna was beyond happy to have Elsa back, she really was. It was like a huge hole in her heart had been filled. But she began to…notice things.

It was obvious that Elsa was born to be queen. She’d had years and years of training, even from the time they were just little. Their father had expected so much of Elsa, to the point their mother had to rein him in and remind him that Elsa was a child.

But on top of all that, Elsa just had the disposition. She was always more serious, quiet, disciplined (unless she was with Anna), whereas Anna was wild, and loud, and her attention span…about as long as her doll was tall. And she was reminded of that over the years. “Your Highness, you must focus. Your sister managed just fine,” or, “Princess Anna, you need to try harder. Princess Elsa mastered this quickly, you should be able to, too.”

Not the best for her self-esteem. She didn’t blame Elsa, of course. Elsa had never done anything to make her feel that way, and she doubted she even knew what people had said.

And that feeling was coming back, and fast. She stayed by her sister’s side as much as she could, but by doing so was reminded why people compared her to her. Elsa was so smart, she read through reports with ease that to Anna seemed to be gibberish. She could do math in her head, and she always looked so graceful and regal. But most of all, people respected her. They didn’t have the nerve to cross her and were quick to do her bidding. She was amazing and perfect and…

Anna just couldn’t compare.

Anna finally lost it one day during a council meeting she went to with Elsa. One of the councilmen, an older man who stuck to the old ways and as such thought Elsa was unfit to rule, was her target. He was one of the few that dared to openly argue with her. He also didn’t like Anna.

Anna finally got tired of listening to him argue with her sister so she snapped at him. Her smug satisfaction at seeing his surprise fell away when she saw Elsa’s glare. “Apologize,” she hissed at her under her breath. Barely holding back a moan, Anna did so, her hands clenched into fists at his smug smile.

After the meeting was over, Anna tried to escape, but her sister cleared her throat. This time she did groan and slumped back into her seat as everyone left. Elsa closed the doors after the first person left and turned on her. “Anna, what you did was incredibly rude. Why would you do something like that?”

“He was giving you a hard time!”

“And he’s going to make things more difficult for me now because of this!” She paused to take a calming breath when she saw a thin layer of ice on the floor. “You can’t disrespect them like that, no matter how angry they make you. You should know better.”

“You should know better,” her father said, disappointment in his voice. He shook his head. “Elsa never gave us this much trouble.” He turned and left, leaving Anna alone.

With that, the first of many tears ran down her cheek.

Angry tears burned her eyes as every insecurity, every painful memory, crashed onto her. “I’m sorry I can’t be as perfect as you,” she spat, then turned and ran, ignoring her sister’s shocked face.

She ran to her room, nearly blinded by tears, and slammed the door shut before falling onto her bed, hugging her pillow as it quickly grew damp with tears.

Not too long later, after she had somewhat calmed, she heard a knock on her door. “Anna?”

She turned her head away and ignored her.

She heard a soft sigh. “I’m coming in.” She heard near-silent footsteps then felt her sit beside her. “Anna, please look at me.” When she did, she saw her expression fall when she saw her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. “Oh, Anna…” she laid a gentle hand on her back. “Sweetheart, what’s going on?”

Even now, the term of endearment still made her heart sing. But it was quickly crushed by her emotional pain. She shook her heard. “Don’t wanna talk,” she croaked.

Elsa sighed softly and began to lightly trace circles on her back. “It does no good to bottle up your feelings. Trust me. Please, talk to me. I can’t help you unless you tell me.”

Anna looked at her face, thinking how this was what she had wanted for years. Elsa beside her, comforting her, talking to her. She saw nothing but love and concern in those deep blue orbs. She shook her head. “It’s stupid,” she muttered.

“It’s not stupid if it makes you feel like this. Was it something I said?” And there it was, that guilt that Anna had been trying so hard to get her to let go of. She reached out and took her free hand, already yearning to make that guilt disappear; truthfully, it really wasn’t Elsa’s fault, she didn’t know. And Anna had kind of deserved it.

“Not really, no.”

“You hesitated.”

Anna rolled her eyes; she was reminded again how Elsa truly was Olaf’s creator. “No, I didn’t. It wasn’t your fault, Elsa. It’s just…” Tears stung her eyes. “I’ll never be as perfect as you.” She turned her head and buried it in her pillow as she tried not to sob.

“What?” It was so soft she almost missed it. “Anna, look at me please.”

Anna listened and sat up to face her, sniffling. Elsa reached and gently wiped the tears on her cheek.

“Now, why would you say that?”

“It’s true, though,” she mumbled miserably. “I’ll never be as good as you, or smart, or perfect…I’m just the useless spare.” She began to sob again, but was shocked out of it when Elsa raised her voice.

“Hey!” She looked at her in surprise to see anger written across her face. “You are not a spare. Where did you even hear that?”

Anna hesitated. “My, um…our tutors were very fond of reminding me-“

“What?!” She didn’t even get to finish before Elsa stood and began to pace in front of her, looking furious. “Who told you that? I swear, when I find them…”

Anna gulped and tried to reach out for her. “Elsa, it’s alright, they’re not worth it. I’m not worth all the trouble.”

Elsa stopped and glared at her, making her cringe back. Then it softened and was replaced with sadness. She sat back down by her and took her hand in both of hers. “Why do you think so little of yourself?” Her eyes glistened and her voice wavered slightly.

Anna dropped her gaze and shrugged. “They were right. I mean, look at me. I’m weird and loud, I can’t sit still and I’m clumsy. I’m not smart, I never could keep up with you. I’m just not enough.”

She was shocked when Elsa suddenly pulled her into a tight hug, and even more so to realize she was crying. “You are more than enough,” she whispered fiercely. “In fact, you are everything, my everything.” She pulled back, gently cradled her face and leaned her forehead against hers. “You’re everything I wish I could be.”

“Wait, what?” Anna was completely baffled, by her words, her emotional responses, everything.

Elsa smiled sadly and stroked her cheek. “Anna, you are so much more than what you say. You are smart, and so kind. Everyone loves you. They fear me.”

“Elsa-“

“Shush, let me finish. You are braver than I could ever be. You scaled a mountain in the middle of my winter to find me. And I’ve never seen someone so loyal. Even after all I did to you-“ she tried to swallow back her tears, “-you still followed me and defended me, still loved me. You sacrificed yourself for me.”

They sat in silence while Elsa leaned back and tried to compose herself. Anna was stunned, she couldn’t think straight. What she stammered out was not the emotional response she wanted to give. “W-Why are you crying?”

“Because it hurts me to see you think so little of yourself after all you’ve done, and all you’ve been through. Anna, you are my hero. And I am so, so proud of you.”

With that, her words hit full force and Anna broke down crying. She collapsed into her sister’s arms, clinging to her tightly while Elsa held her equally as tight, nuzzling her hair while she cried with her.

After some time, she adjusted them so they were laying down, though she didn’t release Anna. She stroked her hair and planted kisses on the top of her head. “I love you,” she cooed, then began to sing to her softly:

“It must have been cold there in my shadow,

to never have sunlight on your face.

You were content to let me shine.

You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,

while you were the one with all the strength.

A beautiful face without a name.

A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,

and everything I would like to be?

I can fly higher than an eagle,

‘cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,

but I’ve got it all here in my heart.

I want you to know I know the truth,

I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?

You’re everything I wish I could be.

I could fly higher than an eagle,

if you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?

You’re my everything, everything I wish I could be.

Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,

with you, you are the wind beneath my wings.”

Finally, with the soothing affect of her sister’s voice and steady heartbeat, Anna finally fell asleep, a tear on her cheek but a content smile on her face.

#ridiculous fluff #frozen fanfiction #snow sisters #elsa #anna #my fic #wind beneath my wings

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c0smicgem-blog · 5 years

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‘Ghosted by the Love of My Life,’

Ghosting: when you simply disappear from someone's life without a word or explanation. Everyone’s done it and I’m sure most people have also had it done to them. Sometimes it’s not so bad. For example, you’ve been talking to someone on Tinder for a couple days and after somehow ending up on the topic of politics, you find out they voted for Trump. In that case, a message back may not be necessary. You realize you’re not interested and you have no obligation to them anyways, you never even met them in person! Similarly, in situations of abuse or toxic relationships in general. Maybe an ex came back into your life but they’re showing the same toxic behaviours that led to the breakup and they just won’t leave you alone. So you stop responding at all, maybe you even block them with no explanation. See, all of those examples are understandable and oftentimes the consequences for yourself are worse if you don’t leave the situation - and the consequences for the person being ghosted are usually minimal because no one is invested in the situation to begin with (except maybe your toxic ex…).

However, these are not the cases I’m interested in. Ghosting, to me, becomes a problem when it’s used as a method of avoiding necessary confrontation with people that you have some sort of obligation to. And I’ll even go as far as saying: Ghosting, in these cases, is emotional abuse. Now I’m sure some people reading this might be thinking “I don’t have any obligations to anyone but myself!” or “I don’t owe anyone anything” but that just simply isn’t true. As a grown-up member of society, different communities, friend groups, and families, we owe people we have established relationships with basic kindness and respect. Ghosting is a child’s way of running from their emotions and hiding when things get tough - it shows selfishness, a lack of growth and development, and also an overall lack of empathy and respect for the person that’s being ghosted. When you leave a person high and dry, out of the blue, to wonder what they did or why the relationship ended, you’re putting them through unnecessary emotional turmoil that could easily have been avoided if you owned up to your feelings. To put this into perspective, I’m going to give my own personal account of being ghosted by the love of my life. Or at least, the love of my life… right now.

First, let me give some background information. I have never been the type of person who’s interested in love. I never really had any crushes growing up, I hated being touched, and I began expecting that love and a “normal” intimate and romantic relationship would never be a part of my life. I came to terms with that, even though it disappointed me, and I wasn’t looking for love until I found him. I was on Tinder, swiping left on practically everyone until I came across someone who caught my eye. We started talking, and I immediately felt drawn to him - something about the way he communicated with me was different, and he piqued my interest… which was something no one had really done before him. We added each other on snapchat, and for the next couple of months we would talk occasionally but not too much, and I would watch his stories and tell my friends about how cute he was and how nice his voice was… To put it simply, I was smitten. A few months into talking, we decided to meet up. I was so nervous because I knew that something about the way I felt for him was different and that’s why it took months to muster up the courage to see him in person, but once I did things started moving very quickly.

As soon as he saw me he gave me a hug, held my hand, and I had never felt as comfortable with anyone as I did with him. Over the next couple of months, things were going great. I was doing things with him I never thought I would, and even more than that I was feeling things that I’d never felt before. It wasn’t long before I fell in love.

He became my boyfriend, and the relationship was always intense. Our highs were high, and our lows were low, we loved just as hard as we argued until we broke up. We stopped talking for two months, and it was awful. I was heartbroken but something in me knew that it wasn’t the end… and sure enough, two months later, I got that “I miss you” text. He poured out his heart, which he had never done in the past, and he told me that he was ready and willing to put in the effort that he always knew I deserved. Although I was scared that old patterns would repeat, I was happier than I’d ever felt because he was all I ever wanted and being away from him for those two months felt like being away from my favourite part of myself.

Everything was going so well, we were finally on the same page. We were in love, making plans for the future, I was smiling and telling all of my friends…. but then the messages were less frequent. They were still sweet though, so I told myself he just needed space and I did my best to give it to him. But then he started dodging my affection. The “I love you’s” in the messages were avoided, and then the messages were avoided, I was avoided. And then he went silent.

Now here I am, two weeks with no word and a few days until Christmas: my boyfriend, the love of my life, ghosted me.

When you’re ghosted by someone you have an established connection and relationship with, it does something to you emotionally. At first, I was thinking “what did I do?”… I knew I had done nothing, but that didn’t matter because why would he abandon me for no reason? It didn’t make sense to me that someone who claimed to love me, and who seemed so willing to work towards a positive future for us, could be so cruel out of the blue. At first, it lowered my esteem. I questioned my own worth and wondered why loving someone isn’t enough to make them stay. Or, why I wasn’t enough to make them love. And then you worry about them. You think “maybe they didn’t ghost me… maybe they’re hurt, or… maybe they died?” because nothing you can think of rationalizes how they could hurt you that bad.

But they did. And that’s what ghosting is.

Ghosting is a tactic used by emotionally under-developed, immature, selfish people who lack empathy and the ability to self-reflect. My (ex?) boyfriend could not own up to the fact that his behaviours directly caused me pain, and so instead of trying to, he simply detached. He left, without any explanation or closure. Without any consideration for my feelings, the person I love who claimed to love me back, cut me out of their life with less than a “Goodbye”. He left me not only second guessing myself, but second-guessing him and our entire relationship.

I want to make one thing clear though before I end this post, my ex is not a bad guy and in this, I am not attacking him. I have come to terms with his lack of personal, emotional, and spiritual development and I wish him nothing but the best in his journey forward in life. What I am attacking though, is ghosting, and more specifically I would like to draw attention to the fact that our behaviours have a direct impact on the people that we surround ourselves with. Although I agree that we should make ourselves a priority, it is just as important to practice empathy and know when to be selfish and when to be selfless. It’s damaging to yourself and to others, to think that we “don’t owe anyone anything”. That’s not how life works, and if you’ve simply lost interest in a relationship that isn’t toxic, and you have any respect at all for the other person, own up to your feelings. Ultimately, do what you need to do to live a happy life but at least confront them like a grown up, provide whatever closure you can, and allow them to heal.

I’m moving forward, celebrating Christmas, and trying to be the best version of myself that I can be but he broke my heart. And I have to admit, there are moments more often than not, when I wonder where he is or what he’s doing, and why he left me, or what I did.

But I can’t torture myself with the why’s, or the what if’s, because you can’t bring a ghost back from the dead. Sometimes, they’re just gone.

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babydoll1947 · 5 years

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Let’s Talk: Mental/Emotional Abuse, from a Survivor

If you read my recent post, you have seen that I am a true crime lover, and have been watching the ID channel as if it may disappear when I’m not looking (kind of like this post did the first time I wrote it, but we’ll get to that). However, I have found that my obsession sometimes comes at a cost to my mental health. You see, when I watch these shows and hear about these horrible people with horrible traits... well, sometimes it triggers recall of some of the equally horrible traits of the man who once abused me. Now, do I think one day he will escalate all the way to murdering someone? No, I think there is a fairly slim chance of that, just given the lack of physical violence I have seen him exhibit. But, I could be wrong, and I sincerely hope everyone he encounters stays on their guard with him. Do I, however, believe this man is a sadistic psychopath who derives pure please from controlling and harming other people (especially women)? Yes, yes I do, with every fiber of my being. No matter the type, abuse is a topic people cringe at the thought of having to talk about. Trust me, the first time I wrote this before tumblr threw it off into the cosmos somewhere, it turned out to be one of the most difficult and painful things I’ve ever had to write. And, I do not relish the thought of having to write this all over again. But, even though we don’t want to talk about this, I believe that we NEED to talk about this. And yes, I said “we”, because it takes small actions from a whole lot of people to make a change in the world around us, not to mention the fact that I think everyone can gain something from the takeaways of abuse survivors. So, here I am, about to write about one of the worst years of my life, hoping to help others gain more understanding. WARNING: I am about to share graphic, detailed accounts of abuse. If you do not feel you can emotionally cope, that’s okay, please just skip to the end of the post for the recap. If at any time you feel you need support, please send me a message and I will be happy to direct you to some amazing resources! I met Chris... and I am choosing to use his real first name, as I do not feel he deserves any anonymity at all... when I was 17 and a senior in high school. When I said earlier that this man is a psychopath, I do not use that term lightly. Like, “Oh, that girl is psycho, like, totally cray cray!” I mean it in the full sense and scope of the disorder. I met him through a close friend who was seeing him, and our first real encounter should have sent off warning bells in my head. To protect the privacy and dignity of myself and my friend, I am not going into details of that particular encounter here, but I will say that it was sexual in nature. False promises were made to my friend to convince her to do this, and it was not an overall a good experience. Even with that, though, there was something so charming and alluring about him that you just felt pulled in. Right away I started seeing him on my own. At first, it was almost like a secretly agreed “sister wives” situation... each of us knew about the other, and knew we were both seeing him, but also both adored him so much that we didn’t seem to care. Over time, as we both started to want more with him, he would lie or manipulate the situation to keep us placated. Often, he would tell me he was not dating her, but tell her that he was. He loved to lie. Like, genuinely loved it. He once told me that half the time he would lie even when he didn’t need to, just to see what he could get away with and how many people he could fool. Another red flag I missed, since that is one of the hallmark traits of a psychopath. He could also fake any emotion necessary to obtain his end goal, even though I doubt he really felt much of anything. Before long, I was practically living with Chris and his roommate in their apartment. Despite this closeness, and his supposed care for me, we never “officially” dated. This is where things started to go haywire. He frequently would list off things he desired in a potential girlfriend, and I would jump through hoops to make them happen. I grew my hair out because he preferred long hair (even though I hated maintaining long hair), got French manicures because he didn’t like bright colored nails (even though I did), changed my mannerisms and reactions to be the “cool girl”, literally anything I had to do to please him. Sadly, I never realized that nothing I did would ever please him or be good enough for him... he just wanted to see how far he could push me. Over that year I morphed into a person I didn’t even recognize in the mirror. Then came the “reminders”, as I like to call them. He would not only talk about girls he liked from work or school, but bring them home with him when he knew I was there, parading them in front of me to remind me that I still wasn’t good enough. Next were the subtle put downs. Then the more serious put downs. Then came the tough love. So tough, in fact, the he held me by my arm while I was sobbing and trying to go home, holding me there until he was done telling me everything that was wrong with me. That was the closest he ever came to physical abuse, his hand wrapped around my forearm, but hell... sometimes I wished he would just hit me, thinking it would hurt less than his words piercing my heart and self-esteem. Still, I fell in love with him. Still, I stayed. Things continued to spiral, and with that spiral came the sexual abuse. That was undoubtedly the worst. His idea of sexual fun was to make me give him oral sex until he was almost ready to orgasm, then push me onto my stomach so he could fuck me for a few seconds until he came on my body. It was no longer about my pleasure or desires, only his. He convinced me that I would like being submissive, that I enjoyed it. He made me call him master, and bend to his will. On more than one occasion he would put me on my knees to give him oral sex, then hold me by my hair and half-drag/half-make-me-crawl over to him like a disobedient dog. Like an animal. I didn’t like it, but I just figured as long as it pleased him it was okay. I had only one hard boundary which I had communicated to him several times: I would not do anal sex. So, to get around this boundary, he decided to just rape me instead... One night as he was fucking me from behind, he pulled out of my vagina and ruthlessly thrust himself into my anus. I buried my face in the mattress and screamed, the pain being indescribable. He did not stop when I screamed. He kept thrusting until he finished inside me, and gave the final demeaning blow as I followed him into the bathroom: “This is why I don’t do anal, it makes your dick smell bad.” I sat on the toilet for several minutes in disbelief, dripping blood and cum into the bowl. I had never felt more humiliated in my entire life, and I don’t know if I ever will. But, he apologized (though he did not mean it), I forgave him (as I always did) and life moved on. Any time I tried to pull away from him, he made sure that didn’t happen. He would talk bad of people I liked, talk bad of me to the people I liked, and sabotage any attempt to let him go. The final few months of hell came with his drug abuse. He became addicted to Xanax and Percocet, and I became his caregiver and guardian, ensuring that he ate, finished tasks, etc., and watching over him on many sleepless nights, making sure he didn’t start to overdose in his sleep. He never once thanked me for helping him, or saving his life until he finally went into rehab. The only good thing that ever came of our relationship happened during one of his attempts to be sober: he began going to church, so I went with him and ultimately rekindled/strengthened my relationship with God. That relationship is what lead me to eventually leave Chris behind. As more time passed we slowly parted ways, him going into rehab and then halfway homes, and me leaving home permanently. Still, it took a very long time to remove him from my life completely. He was like a cancer that I had to extract from my soul one piece at a time, and it took me a lot of time, distance, and perspective to come to the realizations I have about who he really is. Here are the reasons why I am telling you all of this (if you didn’t want to read the details, come back now). First of all, something that still haunts me to this day is how nobody did anything to help me. I mentioned that he lived with a roommate, and they regularly had another friend at the apartment with them, but neither of them tried to intervene on my behalf. I know how hard it can be to confront a friend for doing shitty things, believe me I do, but we MUST do this. Please. If you are friends with someone who shows signs of being a perpetrator, please talk to them, or help the person they are with. The next thing is, please be understanding and patient with people who have survived or are currently experiencing abuse. I already know that a lot of you were thinking while reading my story “Why didn’t she just leave?” The answer is a simple one: I really believed that I loved him. I couldn’t process what was happening to me while I was still wearing the rose-colored glasses, and it can be extremely difficult to discern how bad a situation is in while you are still in it. Give your loved ones time to process what is happening, but still support and protect them as much as you can. Nothing is as black-and-white as it seems. Also understand that just because the abuse isn’t physical, it doesn’t make it any less damaging. I still struggle with the trauma to this day, seven years later. The last few days I found myself dealing with flashbacks and bouts of intense anger. It happens sometimes, and will likely continue to happen here and there for the rest of my life. And lastly, I leave you with this: If you have experienced abuse of any kind, or if you still are, I promise you that you will be okay. You are strong, a fighter, and a survivor. You are a WARRIOR. Time may not heal all wounds (I still have plenty of scars) but it truly does make it easier and less painful. There will come a day when the pain is not a constant ache, and when you can breathe freely again. Never, ever, EVER give up! I love you all, and I am always here for you! Thanks for going on this journey with me.

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anguianobrodan90 · 4 years

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Can The Love Dare Save My Marriage Miraculous Cool Ideas

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Can Therapy Save A Marriage

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Save Marriage Couple Walkthroughs

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#Can The Love Dare Save My Marriage Miraculous Cool Ideas #Save Marriage Without Counseling

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bnha-scenarios-and-imagines · 7 years

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Hello ^^ Is it cool if I request Todoroki's s/o being jealous of Momo? Like she finds them in a compromising/suggestive/completely accidental situation and she just like... leaves? She's d o n e. Because she's constantly hearing how those two should've ended up together? Angst that ends up with fluff! Thank you very very much!:3

Dear God, someone stop me because my immense love for Todoroki makes my writing go out of control XD. Another Todoroki imagine that ended up much longer than it should have.

Slight spoilers for the End-of-Term Test Arc of the manga.

TODOROKI:

You loved Todoroki, you really did. But you couldn’t help but feel insecure sometimes. He was strong, smart, and attractive, which made him very popular, especially among the female population. You adored him, but you weren’t sure if you were actually worthy of being called his girlfriend. You weren’t terrible, but you didn’t think you were particularly pretty or smart. Not like… like her.

Yaoyorozu was a dear friend of yours, and you cared about her deeply. She was serious but unimaginably kind and was always willing to help you. She was part of the reason you and Todoroki had gotten together in the first place! The second you told her of your feelings for him, she had immediately done everything in her power to help you two, and you were so incredibly grateful to her for that, but… you just couldn’t stop the terrible feelings that arose within you when you saw her with Todoroki.

They just seemed destined to be together! They sat next to each other in class, and they were always paired together for training exercises. You also knew that Todoroki had been the one to vote for her when the class was deciding who would be class rep. They held each other in such high esteem that you weren’t sure how you could possibly compare.

When you went out with some of your classmates, you could always feel the stares, hear the whispers. Strangers would see Todoroki and Yaoyorozu walking side-by-side and talk about what a beautiful couple they made. And when you looked at them, you could see it too. Their gorgeous features, long legs, and confident posture made quite the picture and never failed to make you feel unsuitable.

The words of your classmates didn’t help either. They never said anything to you directly, but you knew what they said when they thought you weren’t listening.

“Yaoyorozu and Todoroki look good together, don’t they?”

“Don’t say that! You know Todoroki-kun is dating (Y/N)-chan!”

“I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It’s just that sometimes it looks like Yaoyorozu and Todoroki are the ones dating instead of Todoroki and (L/N).”

You know they didn’t mean any harm, but it still hurt.

You discreetly glanced over while talking with Mina. Even now, the two were standing in the back of the class, chatting with each other. You bit your lip in an attempt to quell the jealousy that was threatening to overwhelm you.

In the midst of their conversation, Yaoyorozu was using her hands to emphasize her words and took a slight step back. She didn’t notice the desk was so close behind her, and her ankle rammed into its leg, causing her to fall back. With his quick reflexes, Todoroki reached out to stop her and her hands instinctively gripped onto his shirt, but it was far too late, and the two went crashing down.

The entire class turned at the sudden noise and eyes widened at the sight. Todoroki had fallen on top of Yaoyorozu, his hand cradling the back of her head to protect her from injury. Their chests were pressed against each other, their long legs tangled together, and their faces were mere centimeters apart.

Catcalls and laughter filled the room.

“Way to go, Yao-momo! You’ve really got Todoroki falling for you!” Kaminari cheered, laughing hysterically.

Sero joined in with a grin. “The two recommended students of Class 1-A, not bad. Quite the power couple.”

You couldn’t take it any more. You stood abruptly, making your chair clatter loudly onto the ground and causing everyone to go silent. With tears welling up in your eyes, you bolted to the door, sliding it open and running out.

“(Y/N)!” Todoroki called out as he lifted himself up. He held out a hand to help Yaoyorozu up as well, quickly asking if she was alright. She glanced worriedly at the doorway you had just left through and after she nodded, Todoroki began to chase after you, making sure to throw a withering glare at Sero and Kaminari on the way out.

The door slammed shut harshly and silence fell over the room once again. Jirou stomped up behind Sero and Kaminari to whack them both upside the heads. “Idiots!”

You were having trouble breathing, violent sobs racking your body as you ran. Finally, you reached your destination and threw the door open to step out onto the rooftop. Sometimes you liked to come up here with Todoroki to get a breath of fresh air. Other times you came up alone when you were stressed or needed to clear your head. You sat down, leaning your back against the fence that surrounded the roof. You pulled your knees up, burying your face in them as you wailed, tears endlessly streaming down your cheeks.

You weren’t good enough for him. You knew it. Hell, everyone knew it! But that certainly didn’t make it hurt any less.

The door slammed open, and you jolted your head up to find heterochromatic eyes staring back at you. You scrambled to get up and began to flee once more, but a warm hand caught your wrist and you were spun around, running into Todoroki’s chest. You used your free hand to try to push him away, but he grabbed that one as well, his grip tightening as you struggled against him.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), stop! Tell me what’s wrong!”

“Let me go!”

“No, not until you tell me. We’re dating, aren’t we? If something is making you upset, we need to talk about it. That’s how a relationship works!”

“Well, maybe you should be dating Momo-chan then!”

Surprise and a bit of hurt flashed through his eyes. “What? Why would you even say something like that?”

Guilt filled you when you saw that you had caused him pain. “Because…! Because everyone thinks you should be dating her instead!” you yelled, breaking down.

“What are you talking about?”

“Our classmates, random people on the street, they all think that Momo-chan suits you better! That you two would be just perfect for each other! You’re both strong and beautiful, and I’m just…” Another sob left your lips. “…not… I’m not good enough for you. I’m no-mph!”

Todoroki pulled you close, hands gripping tightly onto your wrists and pressed his lips against yours. You were surprised. He was not one for PDA and kisses were fairly rare, always done strictly in private, and even then, not very often. Your struggling died down, but your tears didn’t stop. When he deemed that you wouldn’t run away, he released your wrists and laid one hand on your back and the other behind your head to deepen the kiss, pressing against you as close as he possibly could. Finally, when you two were growing desperate for air, he pulled back from the kiss, doing so slowly as if he was cherishing every moment that he was touching you. He still remained close to you and kept his arms around you, staring seriously into your eyes. “It’s not Yaoyorozu. It’s never been Yaoyorozu. It’s always you.”

“Shouto…”

He shook his head. “No, you need to let me talk.” You swallowed the words you had been about to say and nodded. He took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s always been you,” he repeated softly. “No one else. I didn’t choose to go out with you on some whim; I chose you because I thought that you were someone that I wanted to have by my side. Who cares what our classmates think, who cares what anyone else thinks?! This is between us. I know I’m not good at being upfront about my emotions or knowing how others are feeling, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for not realizing what you were going through. But you need to tell me these things. Don’t just bottle it inside and hide it away because I know firsthand that it doesn’t make anything better.” You bit your lip, aware of just how painful his childhood was and how he never had anyone he could open up to. He moved his hand to cup your cheek, thumb swiping at the trail that your tears had left. “(Y/N)… I love you.”

Those words hit you hard. It wasn’t the first time you two had said it to each other. You’ve said it before in sweet tones or with playful laughter, but the seriousness of how he said it just now shook you and you began to cry again. You threw your arms around his neck. “I love you too! I do! I-I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” And you leaned up to kiss him once more, heart becoming lighter and lighter by the second.

A class period passed and the door to Class 1-A slid open, and everyone held their breath. They then let out a sigh of immense relief when the two of you stepped in together, hands entwined. Yaoyorozu ran up to you, expression showing concern and guilt.

“(Y/N)-san! I’m truly sorry! I really wasn’t trying t-” You lifted a hand to stop her, smiling at her.

“No, I’m sorry. I overreacted. You have nothing to apologize for, Momo-chan.” She put a hand over her heart in relief and took a step forward to wrap her arms around you in a hug which you returned happily. When the two of you separated, Jirou and Mina shoved Sero and Kaminari to the front.

“I-uh…” Kaminari scratched the back of his head, glancing guiltily at your red eyes. “Look, (L/N), we’re sorry. We really didn’t mean it. We were just messing around.”

You shook your head. “I told you, it’s fine. You don’t have to be sorry.”

“We still feel bad though. But really, you shouldn’t be upset. We joke around a lot about Todoroki and Yaoyorozu since they’re the two recommended students and always end up partners in exercises. But we all know that you’re the one for him.” Sero grinned, jabbing a thumb in Todoroki’s direction. “No one else can make Todoroki smile like that in public after all.”

You turned to your boyfriend, finding a soft smile curving his lips before he quickly returned to his neutral expression at Sero’s words. He sighed, taking your hand again and bringing you over to your desk. He sneaked a kiss on the back of your hand in a way no one could see it, giving you another small smile before returning to his own seat.

You blushed at his actions then turned to face forward when the teacher entered to begin class. You opened your textbook, gripping the sides tightly as you tried to keep from grinning. Todoroki really was the sweetest boyfriend ever.

#todoroki shouto #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #imagine #scenario #todoroki imagine

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longestnight64448 · 6 years

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An affair to Remember *George Weasley X Reader*

I'm guessing everyone has been in love at one point of their lives...am I right?

Well in love, infatuated, lusted after someone...well one of each or all together, doesn't matter you know what I'm gonna talk about...

I feel everything for one person...and as pathetic as it may sound, he's my best friend. And we already had sex...and we were in a secret relationship...and it ended badly. And now I'm alone again...and I miss him yes...I miss him deeply and I regret everything said prior and post the short yet memorable affair...

Why do I call it an affair...well let's see...

Katie Bell has been a crush of Fred's for three years, he's too much of a shy jackass to do anything about his reciprocate feelings...and just so it happened I set it up. The colossal relationship commenced last year and they were unbelievably happy. George was always the loner, not much into girls...well except for me. We were best friends, we shared everything he didn't already tell his brother and then one night it got...interesting. The ROR was a wild place...best night of my life...but he was weird afterwards, unsure...saying he didn't want to ruin the good friendship. Sucks...I know, I was already in love with him so it was a knife in the heart, but I said fine. We'd be friends...no benefits. But the benefits soon followed...no one knew...not even Fred. It was odd how easy it was to hide it from him, when he was infatuated with Katie...

And then the dream relationship ended all thanks to a drunken night and a kiss between a certain ginger prankster and a certain Qudditch player named Angelina. Katie was devastated...she wanted to take revenge, hence the gun pointing at George. Well you can't argue with the logic, I mean he was as closest as she'd get to showing Fred what it felt to be heart broken. To her great surprise George was reluctant to her advances...Nada, no sale...

So she decided to get him drunk; and get slutty on her turn...

The memorable night began normally...Katie scheming in the corner, me laughing my ass of completely with the twins...perfection. And then we got too drunk...I was gone for maybe a moment but when I came back...

Seeing Katie kiss George and my drunkenness overcame my brains, my jealousy took over even before Fred's. I punched her so hard, she's still in the hospital wing...I showed my true face...the face I hid from everyone.

The face that was by that time so deeply in love with George that in a drunken babbling and screaming I said something like he's mine, bitch...so you understand, I scared him off...The coward little weasel that he is...he disappeared and Fred was left to pick up the pieces of me...needless to say he sucked at it, being a mess himself.

You know the best part...this was a graduation party...so summer came and I had three months to build up pressure to how George will look at me next year...He left with Fred and the rest of the family for Egypt and me, I decided to spend my entire summer contemplating my social death in sunny Philadelphia with my cousin Oliver Wood. Well he was practicing for his big game at the end of summer, I was sunning myself at his parent's house by the pool, and trying to sell the idea that my eyes were teary because the sun was shining in them...Clever, don't you think...

So two and half months later...with still uneven tan, I was in the same condition.

********

"Are you going to at least eat something?" - Oliver asked with pure concern in his voice, and I opened my eyes.

He was sitting on the lounge next to mine, ruining my perfect moment. Me lying on a towel on a soft cushion and enjoying the refreshing smell and coldness coming from the pool in front of me. Sun in my face, giving me perfect tans I swear...this was pure remedy for my wounded soul...I took off my glasses...

"Nope. Don't you have to practice...that left weak side won't heal itself?" - I said in a purely mocking voice. Oliver didn't glare at me...damn; he knew my masked sadness behind sarcasm and hurtful comments...

"How about dinner in town? I bet you'll like this place I found on the way back home...it has prime ribs and..."

"Needless say more...Oliver Wood, I believe we have a date. Now should I kick you out or you'd find the way yourself?" - I asked and put my big black glasses back on, and leaned my head back on the cushion.

"Great." - I heard him stand up. "Oh and the twins are joining us...be ready at eight." - He blurred out and hurried to get inside before I could throw the cocktail glass after him.

So the moment I've been dreading was upon me...hours from now, months after and so many tears ago...I was still in love with the boy I was not supposed to...

But let's see first who's got the best tan...focus on the important stuff...

********

Oliver waited in front of the door and fixed the collar of his shirt in front of the big mirror. I started walking down the stairs and he turned around. I must've looked good because his jaw dropped to the floor...well I guess the white dress I bought last week was a wise purchase...paired with a high pony tail and a pair of nice flats...yep, you could say I was a pretty sight...had to look my best...

"You shouldn't have dressed up for me?" - Oliver stated as I was on the final step.

"Yeah, well..." - I reached and fixed his collar myself, a girl's touch is always better. "I wanted to be presentable. Do you like it?" - I dusted off imaginary stuff off my dress and held my hips.

"If we weren't family...I'd..." - Oliver began.

"Enough said." - I cut him off. "Do you think he'd like it?" - I dared to ask the unforgivable question and a light shot in Wood's head, finally understanding.

"God, I'm slow. Yes, I believe he'll turn from ginger to green. Is that a satisfactory answer milady?" - Oliver offered me his hand as I took my purse and the car keys.

"Yes and...no, I'm not going to be your date because I don't plan on coming home." - I smirked.

We walked out and towards the car...

"You want o go home with George?!" - Oliver asked confused.

"Oh, God no...he should know that whoever doesn't want me loses and someone else gets me." - I got inside the car and on the driver's seat, hate it when men drive...they always go so slow.

Oliver got in and buckled his belt...wise choice. It was about to be a rough ride and a good night...

********

We got in the garden of the pub the two ginger twins were supposed to be sitting. Oliver had convinced me to behave at least until 11 afterwards all Hell could break loose but he'd be in peace with his conscience that he tried. There they were, my best friends...well my best friend Fred and the cheating coward weasel his brother...

Approaching the table, we noticed four beers; it was a good thing I was holding on to Oliver's upper arm. We walked together and it felt like flying to my death. Seeing him again...two and a half months later after he walked out on me. No memories flashed back, no heart beating in my chest...I was numb to everything.

"Four beers already and they're started...if I didn't know better I'd say you have a drinking problem, but..." - Oliver started.

"You know better." - I finished for him. "Hey, baby..." - I said to Fred and he shot me a toothy smile.

Getting out of his seat, he embraced me tightly and picked me up, he was always my favorite...ok, that's a lie. Fred spun me around and put me down in a minute. George didn't even try to stand up...

"Oh, Erin..." - Fred began and two twin leggy blonds sat next to George and smiled at us. "These are Tara and Donna, our...girlfriends." - Fred finished straight to me. "The hotter one's mine..."

"They look the same." - Oliver stated in an unusual harsh voice. I gulped as the one whatever her name his kissed George...kissing is not an accurate description...stuck her tong in his mouth trying to strangle him with it.

"Congrats. I'm gonna go get hammered." - I snapped and released myself from Fred.

Walking away was even harder, I couldn't look back and there was really no need to. The sight of them kissing was in front of me. I sat on the bar and ordered a double of everything...just keep them coming.

Fifteen minutes later Oliver was behind me and leaned on the bar. He took my fifth drink before I could get my hands on it.

"Is this really a good idea, Rin tin tin?" - He asked in a concern voice...Oliver always called me that, whenever he was completely worried about me. It was a term of endearment and frankly I don't even know why that one...maybe because I used to be a bitch...

"The drinking yes...it dials down the crazies in my mind and we can't get them slip out." - I took my tequila shot from his hand and chugged it, then lifted my finger to the bartender for another one.

"No, we don't...but don't you join us and besides those girls are..."

"Slut? Unbelievable whores with short legs and high self-esteem? Unless you were going to say that...then I suggest you walk back to the table, act as if nothing's wrong and tell them I'm fine." - I hissed back. My new tequila shot was ready. "More then fine...spectacular! Yeah, open with that...then..." - I added and took the lemon in my hand.

"But..." - Oliver cut off but gave up when I glared. "Fine...I'll play along. Just don't leave without me, I'll drive."

"Alrighty...Bob another!" - I ordered to the bartender as I finished the previous one.

"My name is John." - He corrected me.

"It's too long for me to remember it..." - I smiled and started to drink my vodka tonic waiting for my next tequila.

Oliver shook his head and left me, truth is, you cannot blame him. I have proven over the years that when I want something I get it.

And in that case scenario my craving was vodka and tequila mix to tone down the urge to go over there and drag the slut kissing George out on the street by the hair, then kick her until she spits her guts, rip off her dress, take her through the woods and then leave her somewhere...

You know what I believe the crazies weren't toned down...the tequila hadn't kicked in yet...that gotta be it...

********

One in the morning...crazies toned down, supplies were dwindling (Bill decided to close the bar...was it Bill or Harry...whatever) and I was in a "perfect" mood. The blond girlfriends left early because they had Pilates in the morning...apparently that's something people get up early for...I never would. I keep up this figure with exercise in the right rooms...bedrooms. I was drunk...even my thoughts were drunken ones...

"Hey, let's go to a club!" - I yelled while been carried by Oliver, because I didn't feel like walking anymore.

"You can barely walk...let alone dance." - George protested as he was carrying my shoes.

"I didn't invite you! I was talking to..." - I turned to Fred. "My baby, Fredster! Come on, sweetems let's g to the o!"

"As nice as that sounds..." - Fred opened the door of the car. "I believe we'll pass. Maybe tomorrow..."

"No. Ollie put me down." - I ordered and he did. "Tomorrow you'll bring your trashy girlfriends and I'll have another set of sneak previews of what's like to stick a tong in your mouths. Disgusting!" - I snapped. "Ya know what, I'll go myself. Coward, shoes please!" - I said politely and he didn't give them back.

"Coward?" - George exploded.

"Yes, coward. Give me back my shoes." - I said a little colder, I didn't understand why didn't give them back.

Did he wanna wear them...or something?

"Guys, guys! Let's not fight, just go home and..." - Fred started.

"I am not a coward Erin." - George hissed in my face. "You were just..." - He stopped.

"I was what you little weasel? Waiting for you to grow up yeah I was...guess what I'm done waiting." - I snapped and got inside the back seat voluntarily.

Oliver said goodbye to them and got on the driver's place and drove off. I was composing myself for three minutes until the twins were out of sight, then really all Hell broke loose because I erupted into crying and lay down on the leather seat. My tears were going to drown Oliver, but I couldn't stop...it was physically unbearable to hold that in me any longer. Our beautiful friendship was turned into dust from our failed fling...good times...

********

Again needless to say the next morning was the worst time of my life. I woke up in my clothes and again outside by the pool on the same lounge I spent my days on. This time the sun wasn't a remedy for my hung-over disease, but a total train-wreck. I opened my eyes and my brain started working on a much faster pace then it should've. Last night, tequila, handsome bartender Paul, or whatever...sluts with the twins, George kissing one of them...calling him a coward, showing emotion in public for the second time in one year...fantastic...

Suddenly I smelled coffee and Oliver sat again on the lounge next to mine handing me a cup of the amazing liquid. I fixed up my hair and tried to brush off the remains of my make up, good thing I barely wore any. I took the cup and slipped from it...hot and nice...my brain cells started to replenish rather then die...

"Damage control..." - I turned to Ollie and he forced a weak smile. "What exactly did I say?"

"You mean besides the weasel and coward mentioning...nothing too bad. Nothing I didn't already know." - He said.

"But I've been such a good actress this summer..." - I protested and Oliver rolled his eyes.

"You'd think after knowing you for half my life I'd know better then to drag you to that dinner but...I'm sorry Rin tin tin?" - He said and finally looked at me. I was staring into the water but I could feel his worried eyes on me...

"It's fine...I mean, public humiliation, destroyed friendships and embarrassing moments are kind of my specialty."

"Speaking of friendships...Fred called." - He said and I turned to him. "He wanted to check base...I said you're sleeping and it's probably not a good idea for him to come on over."

"He wanted to?" - I was utterly surprised.

"No...George. Apparently he's been on edge since last night, driving Fred crazy talking about you..."

"Well that's a first." - I signed; my brain hurt thinking about him. "If he wants to come and give me a piece of his mind just so he stops bugging Fred, I can suffer through it."

Oliver chuckled...he saw right pass my well disguised concern for Fred.

"Alrighty then...I'll go hide all the sharp objects and be out of your way." - Ollie stood up and leaned to me. "Just...clean up after you're done, I don't wanna have to explain to mom where all the blood came from." - He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "And a shower also is a nice idea smelly cat..."

"Oh, just go!!!" - I snapped and hit him in a playful manner.

Oliver left me there to contemplate my...well I guess it's more then a social death now. Brain cells died, I should be send to a loony vile. I'm guessing that's what George will suggest when he gets here...

********

In the early afternoon after a long cold shower and a change of clothes I was sitting in the living room reading one of Oliver's Qudditch strategy books when George came in. Apparently Bonnie, the housekeeper, didn't feel the need to tell me she had opens the door for weasels these days. He was having the mad eyes...when he was mad and usually about something either Fred or I did, but it wasn't harmless this time. I put the book down and looked at him...

"I'm not sorry..." - I stated and he didn't react. "Just letting you know." - I added and looked back at the book.

George sat down at the end of my couch and right where my legs were, he took them and placed them on his lap. We used to do this back when we had long sleepovers in the Gryffindor common room. I never got why until one morning he told me, it made him feel safe just holding me...any part of me...knowing I was there. He was drunk the night before and we had se four times...it wasn't true...I think...I don't know.

"Five years ago Oliver brought his cousin to one of the parties for our first going to Hogwarts...we thought she'd be a dork and we'd make fun of her and Oliver because they could only talk about Qudditch..." - George started.

"What the..." - I cut him off and he glared at me. "Fine, go on."

"But then...he brought you. So you can imagine my embarrassment and confusion when not being able to hide my drooling over Ollie's cousin who turned out...well definitely not a dork..." - He continued and stared something in front of him, it was hard to say all that apparently. "And then she practically swept Fred off his feet with her sarcastic thong and the way she immediately got his jokes...if he weren't into Katie he'd be in love with her...so he said. And then I couldn't help it and snapped to my brother that I want her...we had a huge fight and decided no one gets her. But then...things went in a different direction...and I got scared for many reasons." - George signed and finally looked at me. "I got scared because I knew even if I do get you, you'd leave me, because you deserve better...I got scared because I was betraying the agreement with my brother and didn't even care about it as long as you kissed back...I got scared because..." - I place my arm over his lips in a mare second.

"Are you still scared, ginger boy?" - I asked calmly and George's eyes fixed with mine.

He shook his head and took my hand pulling it off his lips, still holding it in his lap.

"You don't understand, you are everything to me and I am just..."

"Mine." - I smiled and leaned to kiss him but he stopped me so I groaned. "What now?"

"I am not a coward..." - He insisted and I laughed.

George grinned and quickly pulled me onto his lap, I straddled him and sat there, face to face...waiting for him to...

"But even if I was...would you still want to..." - George blushed and I laughed, adorable doesn't describe him...

"No, need to torture your innocent soul anymore. I will be..." - I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning inches away from his lips. "Now can I go hit that Tara girl in the face because I really want to..."

George laughed and I found myself feeling happy. I loved his laugh, I love him so much and finally no one was scared. No one was lying or betraying anyone...he was still a little bit of a coward...but he was mine too...

#george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #harry potter imagine #imagine #harry potter fanfiction #fanfics

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