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abiiors · 3 months

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chocolate // ross macdonald x reader

valentine's week - day 2: love potion

a/n: this is about abiior ross specifically hehe (short hair, shot beard etc) cw: use of aphrodisiacs against their knowledge (lets suspend our belief there), masturbation (f), implied voyeurism, unprotected sex oops (they're too horny to think it through) wc: 4k

sweet taste of chocolate dissolves on your tongue as elena continues to recount her latest holiday to belgium. she has that “just back from holiday” tan on her and you laugh along to her stories, popping another square of chocolate in your mouth while sorting through the pile of gifts she’s brought for everyone.

a heap of chocolate wrappers sits between the two of you and you’re certain you have enough sugar in you to feed a small village—still, the sweetness lingers on your tongue and makes you sigh wistfully every time you think about it.

“i’m seeing ross later,” you slip in quietly when she takes a breath between her rambling and elena’s eyes go round.

“seeing him seeing him? you finally asked him out?”

your head hangs in shame at the question and you can’t help the wince that leaves you. elena tsks. “oh babe, come on! he’s such a sweet guy and he clearly likes you back.”

“you don’t know that!”

several seconds pass and elena arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow. she’s right, you know she’s right. you’ve had this silly, desparate crush for six months now and you should have done the mature adult thing of asking him out. but your heart races every time he’s near and every single word in your head disappears along with all sane and rational thoughts.

“well,” you shrug, “can i take some chocolate for him? he’s got a sweet tooth.”

elena smirks and flicks your hand away before you can reach for one.

“only if you promise to ask him out. a coffee date. that’s as casual as it gets!”

you blanch at her but she stands her ground forcing you to at least mull it over in your head.

once again, she is right. you can ask him out for a coffee and pretend it’s just a friendly little thing if the vibes seem purely platonic. you’ll figure it out. you know you will.

scrunching your eyes shut, you give in. “fine… fine, i’ll do it.”

elena squeals, pulling you into a tight hug. you giggle at her excitement but let the butterflies take flight in your stomach. once she lets go, she points behind her.

“the fridge has a better selection. go take as many as you want.”

you’re out of the chair and halfway to the kitchen before she’s even done speaking, big goofy grin on your face at the thought of meeting him later and teasing him when he inhales the chocolates faster than humanly possible.

the fridge is messy as usual—half empty bottles of milk, some past their expiry date, opened bags of cheese and old chinese takeout. you ignore all of it and dig your way to the back to find the rest of them (in elena’s little hidden space in the fridge to keep it away from her boyfriend).

most of them are the usual ones and you take a few to put it in your bag. a new one catches your eye—it’s just a simple black square with a golden heart embossed on the cover, not one you’ve tried yet and it instantly piques your interest so you take two of them and put the bag back in its place.

then you close the fridge and make your way back to the living room.

the backstage at the band’s practice show is chaos incarnate. everyone’s in a rush to set up things in their proper place. the props are strewn on the stage, waiting for their permanent place, the instruments are neatly arranged in a corner and ross is leaning against the wall, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other. his thumb scrolls on his screen. a second later, he snorts, types something on his phone and you feel yours buzzing in your pocket with an incoming text.

it makes your silly heart skip a beat.

his head snaps up when you clear your throat. a warm smile spreads across his face, and he quickly stubs out his cigarette, tossing it into a nearby bin.

“didn't expect to see you here so bright and early," he says, pushing off the wall to approach you. at his full height, ross is nearly a head taller. on top of that, he’s been working out and staying fit, his beard’s sparser than it was before, his hair neatly cut and gelled back perfectly.

ross looks devastatingly handsome, a proper rockstar. you look like… you.

“wanted to see you–uh, see what you were getting up to,” you hope the breathlessness stays out of your voice, you hope he hasn’t noticed you blatantly checking him out.

all that goes flying out the window the moment he gathers you into a hug. his body is warm and solid, his t-shirt soft and familiar. the scent of his aftershave surrounds you thoroughly, invades all your senses until you just debate throwing all caution to the wind and jumping him right here.

the hug lasts longer than you would have expected.

when he pulls back there’s a faint flush on his cheeks (probably the heating, you rationalise) and a wide grin on his face.

“are you excited?”

“to watch you play? always!”

you cringe at how eager it sounds, how desperate. fortunately, ross giggles and offers you his arm.

“come on, let me give you a tour.”

twenty minutes later, you’re back where you started, arm in arm and excited about the concept of the new show, about their new setlist and the live debuts of some new tracks. ross is already beaming with excitement and his eyes crinkle in they way they do only when he’s genuinely happy. it’s infectious. more often than not you find yourself staring at him and giving him a loopy smile.

utterly fucking love-sick.

“jamie’s gone all out too,” he continues. “there’s a whole dressing arena for us even though this isn’t a real show. we wanted to try out a couple styles i guess.”

“oh, you’re a fashion icon now?” you tease and he rolls his eyes fondly.

“let me show you what patti’s got for us,” he offers and once again, you take his arm and follow him to some corner of the arena.

the dressing room is pretty much what you’d expected—a room full of mirrors and closet doors. there’s a sofa in the corner and bottles of water on the table. clothes are scattered across chairs and hanging on racks, each outfit carefully selected for the show, each outfit a statement aesthetic for every member on stage.

and that’s pretty much it.

you plop onto the sofa. moments later ross does the same, slinging an arm around your shoulder that’s almost-a-cuddle-but-not-really. you desperately pray he can’t hear your hammering heart that’s almost in your throat now. he’s so cool and casual, so comfortable in the silence. you on the other hand, desperately feel the need to fill it.

“elena’s back from her holiday. stole some chocolates from her stache for you.”

his playful grin returns and ross straightens eagerly. “you really are a sweetheart.”

the word does funny things to your insides, almost like there’s an entire flock of birds going haywire in there until his hands comes to rest on your knee and every thought in your head goes quiet.

“go on then, show us what you got.”

one by one you pull them out—bonbons and candy and silly little heart-shaped sweets that were everywhere in preparation for valentine’s day. his face lights up like a kid at christmas, he unravels the nearest sweet, moaning at its sweetness dissolving on his tongue just like you had.

you stare at him unabashedly.

“i got this too,” you pull out the two black squares, handing him one. “dunno what they are but they looked fancy enough. i haven’t tried them yet though.”

together, you unwrap them and look at the dark square inside. they look nothing special, they smell like regular dark chocolate too. perhaps they’re a little richer than the ones before, slightly better but he shrugs and moves on to the next bonbon.

you do the same.

if the arena was chaotic before, it’s damn near cocophonous now. somewhere, someone’s yelling for all the instruments to be moved. jamie and matty are in a heated discussion with a few other creative consultants. adam has his headphones in and he’s plucking something on the guitar. george is nowhere to be seen and ross is on stage making sure his bass is tuned just the way he wants it.

you take the moment to stare at him while he’s busy. a stubborn strand of hair escapes onto his forehead, falling into his eyes while he focuses on the bass in his hands. his mouth is parted in concentration, eyebrows scrunched together with an adorable little crease in between.

a quick thought flashes in your brain—what would it be like to walk up to him and straddle him right now? to set his bass aside and demand his attention in a way you’ve never even imagined before. to kiss away his frown until everyone and everything in the room fades away into the background.

the butterflies in your stomach come back with a vengeance. ross shifts in his seat.

“will you settle a debate for us, love?” matty’s voice startles you enough that you almost stumble back but he’s already passionately begun explaining the dilemma.

you try to focus on him, you really do. usually, it’s fun to give your input on things, fun to listen to his everchanging and eccentric ideas as he tries to explain his vision in a cohesive way. but your attention can’t stop drifting to the man on stage.

your eyes can’t seem to move away from his fingers as they pick string after string.

heat simmers under your skin at the sight of them. interestingly enough, ross fidgets with the collar of his t-shirt and wipes a few beads of sweat off his forehead.

“are you… listening?” matty snaps his fingers, his face contorted in a puzzled look while jamie looks on impatiently.

“sorry, i—”

before you have the chance to finish again, they’re back at each other’s throats, bickering like an old married couple. you don’t even notice when they walk away and their voices peter out. you keep your eyes trained on ross and the hollow of his throat and his hands. subconsciously, you clench your thighs together.

what the fuck is wrong with you.

this isn’t the time or place to be horny. and yet the more strings he plucks, they more it reverberates through your entire body and makes your head spin with lust and heat. this is getting out of control and you cannot fucking figure out the reason behind it.

hurriedly, you make your way back to the dressing room. it’s deserted by now—everyone including the band and the crew are by the stage. it’s your luck that the room isn’t locked, that not a single person seems to be in this part of the arena.

you chest heaves as you slam the door shut, beelining to the sofa in a fucking daze. the chocolate wrappers from before sit innocently in the bin in the corner. you struggle with a bottle of water, gulping in down in hopes that it would cool you just a little. some of it spills down your top, the cotton sticks to your skin and the feel of it against your nipples feels overwhelming. electric, if you are being honest.

curses spil from your lips as you throw yourself on the sofa, on the left side of it, where ross had sat before. your mind conjures up the scent of his aftershave again, the feel of his hand on your knee, and you imagine it trailing up—fingers testing and taunting until they’re at the waistband of your jeans. until they’re dipping inside your underwear and swiping through your slick folds.

your breath catches and your hand drifts to the crotch of your jeans.

maybe if you could just take the edge off a bit. maybe if you could just do this and then never think of it again and then go back to to your day and never look ross in the eye ever again. your cunt pulses in rhythm with your heartbeat, which is already racing faster than it should be.

you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think of him then. his body hovering on top of yours, pressing down on top of you until he sinks into you so deep that you feel him in your gut. you think of his lips, fucking perfect and so out of your leage. you think of the calloused pad of his fingers tracing your lip, your cupid’s bow.

against your better judgment, you sink further into the sofa, running your hands on your breasts, stomach, the insides of your thighs, all the while imagining how ross’ calloused fingers felt on your back and waist the countless times you'd hugged before. how they would feel in other places.

it’s fucking depraved but the thrill of it feels so sinfully good that you can’t stop your fingers from tracing circles over your clit—languid and loose.

your fingers feels too small, too soft. this isn’t what your body wants. it desperately craves him but he’s busy doing his actual job. your ears ring with the bloodrush and every touch against your skin feels like a zap of electricity passing through you.

one hand buried deep between your legs and the other kneading and massaging your nipples, you are on cloud nine. once or twice, you bite your lip to keep the moans down but what’s the point? the solid concrete walls would keep all the sounds inside anyway.

your pants fill the room, sweat gathers on your forehead and you feel it drawing closer, some semblance of a release at least. through the haze you see ross standing by the door, still as a statue, his mouth slightly open.

“ross…” you moan softly, willing this hallucination to come closer, to replace your hands with his, and finish what you started, but he doesn’t move.

a second passed by and then another, and then as if you’ve been doused with cold water, your entire body goes numb and cold.

he’s here. he’s not a hallucination or a figment of your lust-filled imagination, he is really. fucking. here.

you go cold and then hot again, sure that your entire face—hell, your entire body—has gone beetroot red. helplessly, you scramble to get your hands away from you, as if that would salvage anything at this point. as if that would wipe his memory of the last five minutes.

how did he even get here without you hearing so much as a creak? and you’d just moaned his name for fuck’s sake. the blood drains from your face, your heart stutters—this time for all the wrong reasons.

‘ross…’ your voice sounds all high-pitched and thin. all wrong and panicked.

ross only stalks toward you, deliberately slow and graceful, and stops a few inches away from the sofa. too far, the pervy part of your brain chimes in, he’s still standing a bit too far away. his eyes look dark and stormy, his face utterly fucking calm.

you try to suppress the tremor in your limbs, try to look anywhere but at him. (ideally, you try to look for something sharp to stab yourself with) and it’s then that your body betrays your entirely. slowly, as if against your will, your eyes slide down his body and linger on the bulge in his trousers. hard and prominent and fucking big enough to make you salivate despite the current situation.

“what are you doing here?” the words comes out as a weak whisper.

“watching you.”

his voice sounds deep and husky, with a dangerous edge to it. his eyes roam all over your body, or whatever’s visible of it—over your stomach and a sliver of underboob—and heat, more intense than you felt just minutes before, floods your entire body.

and yet, you still can’t look him in the eye.

“you are fucking stunning,” he breathes.

the words make your brain short-circuit. hastily, you try to cover your face, wishing for the earth to swallow you whole and spit you out into some parallel universe where ross just doesn’t exist anymore.

“oh, baby,” he tuts, moving closer until you’re face-to-face, and even now it isn’t enough. inspite of your humiliation, you want him closer, on top of you, and under your skin, and inside you, pounding into you until you are dumb and drooling.

he hooks a finger under your chin, tilting it up so that you have no choice but to look him in the eye. your mouth goes dry at the sight of them. his pupils are dilated to the point where his hazel eyes are almost completely black.

“don’t–don’t hide from me… you have no idea how long, i…” the rest of it dies on his lips when you whimper. your body feels liquid, blood flowing through your veins like molten lava, searing every inch of skin that’s begging for his touch.

“so touch me then,” the voice that comes out of you is pathetic, needy, but you can’t care less right now. if you had to stay in this state of limbo anymore the flimsy little thread holding the last of your sanity together would snap.

agonisingly slow, he pulls his t-shirt over his head. his chest gleams with sweat, tattoos starkly visible against his pale skin and you want to trace each and every one of them with your tongue, memorise all the grooves of his body with your fingers, fill up his scent into your lungs until it’s all you can smell.

just in his trousers now, he settles over you, knee pressed between your wide-open legs, brushing against your clothed clit. you hiss at the barest of touches. ross looking down at you is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, enough that you moan his name again. and again when he kisses you, softly at first and then harder, urgent and feverish.

his hands toy with the hem of your top and you nod fervently, eager to be rid of it. his tongue traces every inch of your mouth.

“just how i imagined you would taste,” he breathes in between kisses, and the words spear through the haze in your brain, burrowing themselves deep in there.

“you thought about how i’d taste?”

tenderly, he kisses your jaw, peppers a few more kisses on your cheek. “every moment of these last few months.”

you say something unintelligible, dumbstruck by how fucking sweet he sounds in the middle of everything. his hand trails up and down your spine, raising goosebumps in their wake, while his mouth continues to kiss your jaw, your neck, your cleavage. all you can do is tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling him as close as you possibly can. unable to take it any longer, you fumble with the buckle of his belt, undoing the button and unzipping his trousers till you can palm him through his boxers. in spite of them still covering him, you moan at how big he feels, how deliciously thick and hard.

something in him snaps at the sound. it’s as if he’d been holding back until now, but now he grabs the hem of your top and slips it clean off you. his discarded trousers join the small heap on the floor and he takes one of your nipples in his mouth while pinching the other between his fingers.

“i need you inside me. please ross…”

“ride me,” he says instantly and you nod, flipping until he’s on the sofa and you’re on his lap, fumbling to get out of your jeans and underwear while he pulls his boxers down.

with one hand around your waist, ross lifts you up until his tip’s grazing your cunt. “go on darling, you can take me,” his voice trembles with barely controlled restraint. and you might as well be his puppet because you obey instantly, sinking onto him until he’s deep inside you, until you feel the delicious stretch and burn.

your gasp makes him groan.

his fingers grip your face gently, moving it to make you look at the giant mirrors next to you, at your bodies locked together.

“look at you…” he moans and thrusts up into you. you mewl at the suddenness of it, but it’s impossible to look away from the image in the mirror. you bouncing on his cock, rutting and moving your hips, shamelessly chasing ecstasy. his face slack with pleasure, his eyes roaming all over your body, taking in every inch of it while you take in every inch of him.

his thrusts are slow in the beginning, punishing almost and you try to increase the pace, digging your nails into his shoulders, until he’s smiling smugly at all the desperately written so clearly all over your face.

“faster,” you almost beg and he obliges instantly, going deeper and deeper with each thrust. his fingers work at your clit again; pinching and rubbing, until you can no longer look at the mirror, can’t look at anything as your eyes roll back into your head and stars wink on the insides of your lids.

filthy words fill the room mixed with groans and moans from both of you. it almost feels like a trance—to feel him so deep inside you that your head buzzes, pleasure coild in your belly and you squirm and writhe, trying to feel more of him, greedy and insatiable.

heat builds in your stomach, the feeling from before starts at the base of your spine again, travelling up until it’s spreading throughout your body, to your fingertips. from the way ross’ thrusts turn wild and erratic, you know he’s close too.

“you feel so good, so–so fucking perfect,” you tell him, trying to get the words out in between moans and gasps.

“oh baby,” he coos, “we are fucking perfect together, aren’t we.”

frantically, you nod, capturing his mouth in another feverish hot kiss. “yes, yes.”

because that’s what you’ve been dying to hear for months now, dying to know that he felt the same want and yearning you did.

when the orgasm finally hits, you almost black out, eyes rolling to the back of your head. your loud moans fill the room, overshadowing any sounds he makes, but you’re too far gone to care. the sound undoes him within moments and ross thrusts hard into you, cumming with a loud groan. you feel the cum spilling in you and running down your thighs, sticky and wet.

vaguely, you’re aware if slumping forward and pressing your face into his chest. ross strokes your hair softly until you can get your breathing back to normal.

you giggle in his chest when the conversation with elena springs back into your mind. it feels so far away now, like it happened days ago instead of hours ago.

“what?” ross asks, sounding a bit amused.

“i was supposed to ask you out for coffee. elena dared me, in exchange for the chocolate.”

he giggles at your answer, pressing a quick kiss on your head, which instantly makes your heart melt.

“those chocolates were… something.”

you snort. that’s one way to put it. finally, you pull away, looking at him properly for the first time. his face is flushed and coated in sweat but he looks… happy. more than you’ve seen him before.

“so… coffee?” you bite your lip, irrationally shy now of all times.

ross kisses you in response, sweet and slow, a proper chaste kiss as if you’re not sat on his lap, still naked and dripping with his cum. but you kiss him back equally slow, giggling like a teenager.

“like you have to ask.”

lemme know what you think <33

taglist: @scooby-doodoo, @partoftheairforce, @justgoatsbreakinghearts0855@beachesgetpeaches, @you-muppet, @mcabister, @alexmarie29, @at-her-very-foreign, @hfkait, @squishysoupy@sierraeslaprincesa@harrie-fic-center @alien-girl-violet@thereisaplaceintheheart @kennedy-brooke @lolidontknowanymore @theoriginalwhatsername@celestcies @sugarkane1001 @ari-turner @thewaywewereinsaigon @daphnesutton @beliefandsayingsomething @ros3chu @nothingrevealedeverythingdenied @zzzhealy @mattymybeloved @fck-off @indiaamars @sofaritsalrightt @k4tie75 @wondersecret @humptyhoran @indierockgirrl @hanbiior @moreyoulove-moreyouknow @rossgirly @if-my-heart-bleeds @little-lovely-darling @abriefnirvana @renitypoem @sinarainbows @lady-may-targaryen @love4agesss @angrylittlebaldman @oneluckygirl @sinarainbows

add yourself to the taglist

#valentine75 #valentine's week #ross macdonald #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald smut #minors dni #the 1975 fanfic

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coldresolve · 2 months

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Hi, I'm Elias, I'm a 26yo trans guy from Denmark. I write shit, I draw shit, and I get into unneccesarily tedious arguments with anons about torture apologia in fiction. I think that sums up my vibe

I've made a few posts about this already, but tl;dr: the Danish NHS has been refusing to treat me for gender dysphoria for the better part of a year now because they've deemed me "unstable." Unstable how, you ask?

I have depression.

No, that is quite literally it. Full context under the readmore.

Fighting to be heard and having the door repeatedly slammed in your face sucks peak ass, and I'm done now. The NHS is so lackluster when it comes to trans people, all of a sudden, it makes perfect sense to me why 31% of transgender Danes get HRT outside of the NHS.

And I'd rather not have to turn to the black market, so rn I'm hoping to get a prescription with GenderGP. The issue is, I'm poor as fuck and can't afford the start-up fees for the forseeable future - unless I do something like this. I hate asking others for money, and I hate it even more if I'm not in a place where I can give anything in return. But I also recognize I'm in over my head with this, so. If you've got a cent or two to spare, I'd be grateful as hell.

I've mathed it out, and my best estimate is that I need around 3500,- DKK / $500 USD. Again, this is just to cover the initial subscription as well as mandatory consultations/blood tests. I should be able to cover the prescriptions on my own, as well as further tests/consultations down the line, so I'm hoping this is a one-and-done sort of thing.

paypal: [email protected]

Also, important note. We're in a global cost of living/housing crisis and this isn't a strict life-or-death situation. If you're in a tough spot right now, don't send me anything, that'd just make me feel worse about asking. I appreciate the thought but you gotta take care of your own needs first. Peace and take care ✌️

So I've been dealing with major depressive disorder since I was 11. It runs in my family, and as you might imagine, after 15 years of living with this thing, I've learned how to manage it pretty well by now. I know what it's like to genuinely be unstable - and if I were in a place like that, no problem, I'd be open about that. I wouldn't be making decisions like this. I know myself. You kind of have to when you're dealing with a chronic mental illness.

Here's where I am right now: I've got no suicidal ideation, been clean from self harm for four years, no psychosis, no inpatient admissions for the last five years. I live on my own, take my meds, and I'm keeping my life in order. Depressed, yes, but about as stable as someone with my history can get, and ask anyone who knows me, me wanting to get on HRT isn't some spur of the moment decision. I've done a fucking decade of soul searching, and a few years ago, I finally (duh) reached the conclusion that living as a woman isn't something I can even fake being content with - believe me, I've tried. I'm well aware of the scope of medical transition, but I'm settled in who I am. And I just want to live like me now. That's the only thing I want.

If it counts for anything, my partner and family have supported me through this, which has been priceless obviously, but it also goes to show that me saying "I'm capable of making medical decisions" isn't purely a personal assessment. I'm pretty sure they'd speak up if they thought I was being unstable about it or whatever

But the CPH clinic for sexology, who have consistently refused to listen to me telling them all this, have somehow magically aquired divine knowledge on my capacity to make adult decisions about my own body, and on the basis that I have MDD, they're refusing to even set me up for a preliminary interview - one that would preceed a 6 month full-team psych evaluation before the prospect of HRT would even come up. They said in their latest refusal that they wont accept another referral from me until a year after my last in-clinic conversation with them, which happened on October 24th, 2023 - meaning that with the NHS, if they accepted my referral come October (which I don't have much faith they will), the earliest I could possibly get on HRT is April 2025. Arguing for my own sanity would've sucked enough as is, but it's made harder by the fact that they won't even talk to me. You're a trans guy who would like healthcare, but you have a mental illness? Good luck, you're on your own. Long live the Danish bureaucracy.

Dysphoria makes me fucking miserable. I'd rather not have to write a sob story here, and tumblr is like 80% trans people so I guess a good portion of you can imagine why waiting another year for the possibility of maybe-perhaps-if-all-goes-well getting on HRT would not actually make me less miserable about it.

So. I'm sitting down next week along with my mom to file a formal complaint with the patient's rights committee. I don't know what to call this other than some form of discrimination on the basis of mental illness, because nothing in my current situation would prohibit me from making medical decisions for myself. And I honestly don't think that a complaint is going to do much, but I intend to make it obnoxiously long, because by law, a specialized doctor and an attorney have to read through the whole thing. If you can't beat 'em, make 'em read 50 pages of you going into detail about why you think they suck, right

And yeah, like I said, in the meantime, I'm trying to go via GenderGP. It'd be nice if my poor ass could get HRT via the NHS instead of having to pay out of pocket, but apparently the bar for entry requires that you 1) have gender dysphoria to the point where it impedes normal function and 2) somehow aren't mentally ill. Who wrote these rules? Some 60yo cis guy in a suit in Christiansborg, I imagine.

Feel free ask about anything relating to this whole situation, I'll be as open as I can about it, cause I understand that if you're going to give money to someone, you want to know what it's going to. Though I hope you understand I'm not going to doxx myself more than I already have now, or give you my entire medical history - only what's relevant to my current situation.

I know Denmark is a welfare state and on a global scale we're doing alright, but I hope you don't mind if I say this: This shouldn't be happening as often as it does. Fuck the Danish NHS.

#other #slight self doxx ig #idec ill post my bare ass for testosterone #do rb if u want but also no pressure. i want this whole thing to be on a want-to only basis alright

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bethanythebogwitch · 10 months

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I talked before about fish Pokemon and that was great, but it's not the only mon series I like. So fuck it, fish Digimon time. This will definitely be less analytical and more me gushing about Digimon I like because I may be a bit out of it right now. Also sorry if I missed any.

Starting at rookie/child level we only have one fish but why would we need more when we have Swimmon?

Loot at it, it's amazing! It's some some sort of tropical fish, obviously, but with some embellishments, like the beak full of teeth. I love how colorful and pointy it is. It works great as a rookie for so many aquatic lines. I think some great lines for it would be Swimmon -> Coelamon -> Piranimon -> MetalPiranhimon or Swimmon -> Tobiumon -> DIvemon -> Surfimon. Speaking of which...

I'm going over champion/adult Digimon together and starting with Coelamon.

It's a coelacanth! Coelacanths are amazing as some of the last lobe-finned fish. In this case, the lobes have been exaggerated into proper limbs, like how lobe-finned fish are the ancestors of tetrapods through intermediate limbed fish stages like tiktaalik. Its armor might also be based on placoderms, extinct fish with bony armor.

We have surprisingly few shark Digimon, but one we do have is Tobiumon, and it's amazing.

A shark with arms that can fly with its fins is such a Digimon concept that all it needs are some guns to be peak Digimon. It even has a remora missile launcher on its chest!

The armor Digimon give us several fish, and while I don't think any of them particularly work as armor evolutions, they're fine as Digimon on their own. And before anyone mentions it, Tylomon is a tylosaurus, not a fish. The first is Manbomon, and while it's a terrible armor evolution for Patamon, A mola mola wearing boxing gloves is such a goofy concept I can't help but love it.

Next is Seahomon, which is pretty obviously a seahorse, but its snout is a trumpet and it has a cape that turns into wings I guess? I dunno, it's a pretty weird one.

My favorite of the three is Mantaraymon. Despite the name, it doesn't have a manta ray's face, instead having a rostrum like a shovelnose ray or even maybe a dolphin. I do like how they used Patamon's ears as the cephalic fins.

Mantaraymon also has a more mechanical X-antibody variant that gives it kind of a stealth fighter vibe. I kind of like it more than the original Mantaraymon, which is saying something since I usually don't like X-antibody Digimon.

Moving onto the ultimate/perfect level we have a new mon from China, Huankunmon.

I love this design so much. Its based on the peng, a mythical creature that can turn from a bird to a fish. Fittingly, Huankunmon's line goes from a bird (Xiquemon) and goes to a bird/fish/dragon hybrid (Xiangpengmon). It'a also based on a flying fish since it can fly with a swimming motion. And it can turn invisible. There's nothing not to love about it.

Next is Piranimon, and look at this absolute beast

Some might call it overdesigned, but I absolutely love it. I particularly dig the tail being a fish hook covered in barbed wire. Its based on a red-bellied piranha, but the pop-culture version where they're bloodthirsty monsters that attack everything they see. Real piranhas are not like that. The helmet it wears may also be based on placoderms, some of which only had the bone armor on the front of their bodies.

Finally at this level, we have Divemon.

I'm not as big of a fan of this as I am of the other two, but I do like the Polynesian-style tattoos it has. Its a combination hammerhead shark and professional swimmer.

Maxing out at the mega/ultimate level we have MetalPiranimon.

While I appreciate any fish megas, I think this is a step down from Piranhimon. It's just a red-bellied piranha with a big metal head dragging around a counterweight. I'm not saying its bad, I'm just saying that Piranhimon is better. Fun fact, Metalpiranhimon came first. Piranhimon was designed because someone thought it was weird that there's a MetalPiranhimon but no regular Piranhimon. There are a few examples of that in Digimon, like SkullBaluchimon coming before Baluchimon.

Next is Regalecusmon, which might be stretching the definition of fish a bit, but it does have an oarfish for a head.

I really like this design, especially it using Zudomon's horn as a sword and what looks like Ebidramon's claw as a shield. I think it would make a great villain for an aquatic episode or storyline of a show. Maybe like a more modern version of MetalSeadramon from Adventure.

Finally, we have Surfimon.

It's a mechanical shark man riding a rocket-powered hammerhead shark surfboard with a buzzsaw on the front. We have reached peak Digimon, people. And even better, it was created by a fan as part of a contest. Frankly, it's a shame that it hasn't gotten any appearances in the anime or games. I don't get why some fan-made Digimon can go onto have major appearances like Dobermon, Cyberdramon, and SoundBirdmon while others get ignored. A lot of them don't even have art. I'd be pretty bummed if I was a kid who won a contest to have my design become official and then it was never used. I think Surfimon should get an anime appearance and the English dub should make it talk like a Californian surfer dude.

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thyandrawrites · 2 years

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Casually dropping this here too to piss off all the "dabi&twice were close" naysayers

Dabi speaks with his actions, not with his words, and his body language is relaxed and open and shows that he's clearly comfortable around Jin. I will die on this hill.

Actually, looking closer, his legs are up on the sofa, shielding him from the rest of the group. He's still an introvert, sitting on one edge of the couch, close enough to engage with the others enough and be part of the group, but still choosing the corner of the room as his preferred spot to hang out. Yet, his torso is turned toward the other occupant(s) of the couch, his arms loose and resting comfortably on a knee and on the back of the sofa. He's not closing off. He's not hanging out by himself, standing stiffly and looking out of place as usual, but posed like he's giving his attention to Twice, maybe to Hawks. He's bored, possibly, with his head resting on his knuckles, but still turned that way, with a stance that's open enough to encourage a conversation.

Now, it's no secret that Dabi is a lone wolf.

Even when he does hang out with the League, he still doesn't particularly engage with them more than he has to. Look at him sitting alone on the couch, with space on either side of him. His body language doesn't show that he's uncomfortable around them, but his arms are crossed in front of his chest in a closed off, defensive stance. The others are playing around with each other, eating sushi and bantering, with Dabi as the only one who refuses the food and the companionship vibe. He's here for business, not to socialize.

Dabi does this a lot, intentionally or not. He draws himself a little away from others, hanging around at the edges of the group, standing by himself, keeping everyone at a arm's length. He's used to relying on himself and himself alone. He grew up feeling like his family wanted him to buzz off, so as an adult he does the opposite of what he did as a child. Instead of begging people to pay attention to him, now he's the one who keeps his distance first. He pushes everyone away, acts like a dick to them to make sure they don't expect anything from him (so he can't disappoint them) and doesn't partake in social activities if he doesn't feel obligated to.

In other words, Dabi wasn't always a lone wolf. He became one after failure to connect after failure to connect stacked up, and he began to believe he was better off by himself.

Enter Twice.

Twice is the anthitesis of Dabi. Besides the obvious differences in demeanour (Dabi is a quiet, contemplative introvert, while Jin is a boisterous extrovert), they also markedly react to their trauma in opposite ways. While loneliness made Dabi close himself off and refuse companionship, in Twice's case it made him cling to the League with a fervor and a protective streak a mile wide.

They couldn't be any more different. Dabi's the resident feral cat who hisses at anyone getting too close, and Twice is a guy who is so friendly he could befriend a rock. If you tried to put a name to their relationship, you'd struggle to define it. They're not quite friends because Dabi doesn't entertain the concept of friendship, and they're not just comrades because—despite Dabi's self-denial—their bond is not impersonal and business-like, either. But Twice's insistence on treating every league member like family cracked a bit of Dabi's shell, too, and the way this is shown is so subtle. The cover art above is one of its most obvious examples, but not the first.

This was fairly early in the series. They didn't know each other well yet. They had no real obligations to soothe each other's feelings, but the moment Dabi agrees with the sentiment and self-deprecates, Twice hurries to reassure Dabi that he's strong, too. As far as we know, this was the first time Twice showed him his penchant for contradicting himself.

I find this interesting for two reasons: one, Dabi hates being seen as weak. He especially loathes the gap between himself and the "gifted" heroes. Yet he doesn't take the remark to heart, accepting it with an apathetic expression. Almost like he knows that Twice doesn't mean it. Which brings me to point two, Dabi is typically a dick. He doesn't care if he's hitting a sore spot. When he feels insulted—or when he feels like it, really—he's very quick to turn a sharp remark against others. He's not delicate about it, either, calling Toga a freak, Spinner a lizard, insulting Shigaraki's hands... Those are all things that relate to their trauma. Yet, I can't remember Dabi ever targeting Twice's mental condition. He notably doesn't do it here, where it would fall in Dabi's typical patterns for retaliation.

Their interaction reads entirely like banter. It's almost... Friendly. Dabi should feel offended, but he's completely chill, dismissing it as Twice just being Twice, and that's the closest thing to acceptance we'll ever outright see from him. With him, you gotta read between the lines.

This banters of theirs extends throughout the manga.

I know what you're thinking. I'm stretching it. They're literally fighting here. How can I take this as a sign of closeness?

Well. Dabi provoking people into being cross at him is pretty par of the course. It's just how he is. And Twice getting so invested in things that his emotions get the better of him is also hardly surprising. But what's interesting here is that by now, they're familiar enough with each other's outbursts that Dabi sees the mock-attack coming and instinctively knows when to duck out of its range. He didn't turn, either, so it's not a matter of fast reflexes. He just... Knows Twice. Knows that saying what he said would push his buttons, but not enough for a real brawl to break out, so he says it anyway and ducks with practiced ease. The action is so casual it's almost like its not the first time they roughhoused like this.

I would bet that it's not. Their bond is often told through all these subtle details. Here, for example, Twice is being his usual self and draping himself over clone!Dabi with his usual friendly familiarity. These people are his family, and Twice is a physical contact kind of guy. I'm fairly sure he would hug a cactus if cacti were to suddenly develop feelings and looked particularly lonely.

But what amuses me is Dabi's reaction. He's pushing Jin's face away, again on autopilot, but not shrugging off... Well, the rest of him. Because Jin is currently hugging Dabi's back, thumping his chest like Dabi's his favourite bro, and slinking an arm around his shoulder for good measure.

Again, the familiarity is in the details. Dabi doesn't play nice to soothe feelings. When he doesn't want to do something, he says so. Loudly. How he acts around Twice is not a ploy to get Twice to be favorably inclined towards him, either, because he doesn't need to butter Jin up. Jin was already his defense lawyer since training camp. But the fact that deep down under that bundle of trauma, Dabi cares about him in turn, is a fact you only notice when you care to look at their body language around each other.

My final (and favourite) offering is this high five. The camaraderie in this gesture is the closest thing we've ever seen to Dabi reciprocating Twice's friendship.

Tell me one time when we've seen Dabi act this buddy-buddy to any other League member.

Dabi... Dabi doesn't high five people. In fact, the only other time we've seen him initiate physical contact with someone was when he slung an arm around Hawks' shoulders during his introduction to the Plf, and that was an obvious power play. He was intimidating him. He was daring him to shrug off the touch and show that he was uncomfortable in front of the whole army (which Hawks obviously couldn't do) or play along, accept the touch, and thus implicitly Dabi's power over him as one of his new bosses.

But this high five here is not a scheme; there is no power play involved because Twice is the same rank as Dabi, a fellow commander of a Plf regiment, and a trusted ally that Dabi goes back to defend.

I find this scene significant because if Dabi was really as selfish, ruthless and manipulate as he poses for his villain persona, he should've been mad at Twice. Furious, even.

Yet, when Twice was bawling his eyes out, realizing he's the one who gave Hawks the intel to send a flock of heroes against the whole League, Dabi remarkably doesn't blame him. This faux pas could've easily undone part of Dabi's carefully planned revenge. If killing Twice was enough, on its own, to make his goals a little harder to achieve, as Dabi tells us, you can imagine what losing the League as a whole would do. If the PLF was annihilated here, Dabi would no longer have the platform he needs to be seen as a threat during the broadcast.

However, despite the fact that Twice gave away vital information and prompted the raid, Dabi knows where to direct the real blame, and it's not Jin. As he's running up the stairs to lend him help, he's thinking "Twice. This isn't your fault. As always, those scummy heroes are to blame."

And sure, Dabi might still rationalize it as defending his interests because Twice is an important pawn in his revenge plan... blahblahblah...

But why the high five.

Why not just telling Twice "the others are waiting for you" and let him reach them as he deals with Hawks? Why bothering to slap his palm as Jin passes by, if not because Dabi simply... Wanted to?

Again, let me repeat that Twice was bawling his eyes out. A pro hero was there to see him cry through his struggles, to see him yell and thrash around, begging to be heard, and only offered silence in return.

Sounds familiar yet?

Yes, yes, I'm saying exactly what you think I'm saying.

In that moment, Dabi saw himself in Twice, saw his own childhood, and extended that hand to high five him out of sympathy, cameraderie, because he knows exactly what Twice is feeling, and how lonely and painful it is.

After all, this lines up perfectly to the kindness he later shows to Toga when he burns down her abusive home. People smile, he tells her, they smile every day in spite of our tears. So let's smile, too. Let's do what they do and stop saying sorry when it hurts others, because they sure as hell never apologized to us.

Dabi's not overt about his affections. I doubt he even realizes he has affections. He's not very in touch with his emotions. But Twice's friendliness and openness opened a crack in his shell, and I think it's thanks to that that he's finally starting to relate a little more to the other Lov members as well. Just a few months before, he never would've thought of comforting Himiko, but he does now. Presently, the only emotion he correctly recognizes and clings to is rage, but he's not the unfeeling monster he poses to be. He might outwardly refuse friendship, but that doesn't mean he hasn't grown fond of the people he spends so much time with.

Ironically, Twice's last moments might be when Dabi came closest to realizing he cared about Twice as much as Twice always cared about the League. Which makes an awful lot of sense when you realize Twice used to be the heart of the League, the glue keeping them whole, the one guy who always made room to make each and every one of them feel less lonely.

In a way, if Horikoshi were the type to add this kind of symbolism to his art... I'd say this cover refects that, a bit. I'm definitely interpreting it the way I want to see it, but... Dabi is turned to look Twice's way, shielding himself from the others with his legs propped up on the couch. -> he's still figuring out friendship, and at this time he's only really open to one person, the first he was willing to see as an equal. Then there's Twice, who's facing the whole room in turn because he always had the tools to connect with others. But he's sitting stiffly, he's not talking, and as the only one wearing a full bodysuit, he stands out. -> He looks out of place, like a guy who's lonely even in the middle of a crowd. Then at his side is Hawks... Facing the group as well, but slouched, making himself smaller, with that ever-present hand covering his mouth, stopping his true self from accidentally spilling out and say too much. -> A guy who looks like he belongs, but who never says anything substantial about himself. What a group.

... And now my thoughts are def running away from me so I'll stop here before I talk about this picture for the next 5 hours

I don't really think Horikoshi put this much thought into poses and potential symbolism, but for me what really hits about this artwork is that it gives us a glimpse of a could've been. An AU where they aren't exactly fine, yet but they're getting there. Already significantly more fine and less prone to posturing than what we're used to at least

#Bnha #Dabi #Twice #Meta:dabi #Meta:twice #Idk what this is tbh #I started talking about one thing and then it spiralled away from me as things usually do lol #Enjoy I guess #My post

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orginllazyblog · 14 days

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AFK Arena drawings I did :D

Also, Headcannons!

First attempt drawing Annih

Honestly, the closest accurate if Lilith finally adds the two gods in the game

More drawings of him:

10% blood left -> 90% almost complete

Small headcanon: Dura and Annih create the celestial twins as they weren't first created to start off as kids to adults. As well for them handle Annih's work when he "left".

Next is his outfit, which is giving a Maleficent vibe. The second one is his celestial outfit:

A close-up of him. Giving him braids. You may also find that I drew little fireballs, references from his loading screen background, or from the wiki website if you don't know what I mean. Coming up with his clothing design, I have a feeling he would wear something that covers his neck to feet.

Yeah, you might think he would show more of his skin and consider he's the creator of the Hypogeans. Nah! Boy would wear a black hoodie in the middle of a hot summer.

You may also find that I drew little fireballs, references from his loading screen background, or from the wiki website if you don't know what I mean.

One is chaotic gremlin, and the other is more chill. A dark red mix magenta makes the mortals give into becoming Hypogeans, which explains for those like Lucretia and Lavatune who were once humans. The chill one is the creator of the Graveborns and thus report to Annih on their activities. The reason why Annih is not guiding the souls to the afterlife was to play his villain role until Dura's vacation is over.

But hey, that's just fan theory

Anyway, it's Dura's turn:

Young and sweet 👍🏼 while he's more mature and serious. I had fun drawing her long, wavy hair. Surprisingly, this is the only drawing I have for her while I drew her brother more.

Oh yeah! Speaking of that. I intend to make these two as siblings instead of having typical Hades x Persephone stereo type because it's just makes the Hades character more misunderstood. Looking back at @tatarella afk Arena post, it seems dev lilith's made him that way; jealous of Dura's favoritism, hated his job, and want destruction to Esperia.

Me: Alright, I'ma do it in my own way.

HC #1: Annih was not given attention from his creator, Honas, Primordial God of Order and Creation. This makes him question his eternal life crisis, thus telling Dura that he wanted to just disappear as he thinks he doesn't have much potential like her. She tells him that he's important to this world and that they were meant to be a pair of siblings who look after each other as they were made that way. Even though one is busy with their God duties, they give him a gift, which is a library filled with every Esperian mortal life recorded in a book. He never likes the humans as much as his sister and prefers a quiet environment.

HC #2: Him being a cold brother but secretly cares and worries for his sister. Back then, she was too nice, and he fears that someone could try to take her naiveness to their greedy intentions. He made sure to warn her multiple times to never be fooled by the humans. That one Hazbin Hotel reference: "You don't take shit from any demons!"

HC #3: When Dura and Annih were fighting during the war to make everyone believe their acting, he didn't want to hurt the only closet family he had besides Honas who they haven't seen him ever since from the beginning. He had a theory that if something were to happen between the siblings, Honas would come to deal with them, but somehow, they did not after that war.

HC #4: Goodbye, young Dura, now she's gone through character development. The reason why I headcanon that she stay at the Dislyte universe was that the game was also created by Lilith developers. There, she learned the fashion style, technology, trends, and some of the people, though she was only here for a vacation.

HC #5: With every mortal life recorded in the book, it also recorded the gods like Dura and Annih themselves. Though, he decided not to read his or hers because he respects privacy. One time, he found what seemed to be two large, thick books with strange cover. He then realized this was Honas and Lutos' life book still recording, but he never read it as he never wanted to remember Honas. As for Lutos, he knew they're more dangerous and that Honas was guarding the prison throughout eons. Annih never told Dura as she wonders if Honas would ever come to visit as she see them as a father figure. Yeah, I'm giving Annih Daddy issues.

HC# 6: Okay, this is the last one. Honas and Lutos, I headcanon that they are genderless, though Honas takes the form of a masculine figure, and Lutos takes the form of a feminine figure. Maybe even starting off as enemies to lovers as I have been writing about quite a lot 😅

#afk arena #afk arena fanart #fanart #traditional art #afk dura #afk annih #i feel more related to annih not gonna lie #afk honas #afk lutos

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jmdbjk · 1 year

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JK Welive #1-2 & JK/Tae IG live

People sure have their panties in a knot over Jimin and Jungkook and Tae and shipping and JK's live, and Bam, and a J tattooed on a finger and just... damn people. You act like your life depends on this shit.

To keep track of what we’re talking about let’s organize it like this: JK welive #1, JK/Tae IG live, JK welive #2, JM welive, JK welive #3, JK welive #4 (taken down, yet to see if it will be put back up). That’s a lot of maknae line to unpack.

But bottomline: Jungkook is mostly at home nesting with Bam. Leave him alone. Y’all keep making me say that. INTROVERTS UNITE!

Boy arrived for Welive #1 wired and ready to defy the employee manual that says no live broadcasts without permission.

Jungkook was a little solemn when someone asked about Jin in the comments. “Jin is doing ok.” and “Jin sometimes sends us a message in group chat.” JK didn’t seem like he wanted to elaborate on it.

He wonders why he thinks of Army when he’s drinking... man is crying in his beer over us!

Within 20 minutes he was all wound down. His sweet eyelids started getting droopy while he read Army comments.

Then he got second wind and started searching for something to sing for us... finds Vibe, drools over Jimin for a sec, gives Taeyang some badass love, starts to sing the song before he even gets the lyrics up on the screen... knows the choreo of course...

Rumor confirmed: Bam is the luckiest dog in the universe. Jeon Jungkook wipes his butt after he poops. Who else in this world can say that? Who?

Besides the Bam butt wiping TMI, Jungkook also said he emptied his freezer so he could keep his (8) frozen beer mugs in there ready for action. And also (10) smaller glasses... maybe pilsner glasses? 400ml is not a small glass. 18 large servings of adult beverages. Priorities.

TMI: JK sings while he pees.

Kookie philosophy: if a rock doesn’t get rained on, it will crack and break. So another round of beers please. Gotta stay hydrated according to Kookie.

He attributes his being able to sit in the dark in his house with Bam and drink beer and literally breathe, to Army. Thanks to Army. You are welcome, baby!

Jungkook also says if you don’t have these three things, get out of here:

Gotta admit, I was stressing for a minute over the remark that he’s stopped working on his album... but Jungkookie says he’s kind of into this living like a rock for now. He’s not feeling pressured or overly anxious to be working or trying to make himself work. How he said what he said implies maybe he is really relishing this “doing what he wants at age 25...” Good for him. He deserves to slack for a while.

At about 1 hour and 13 minutes in he pulls J-Hope’s “More” up on the noraebang screen and begins to rock out. I LOVED THAT! Then he realized Namjoon was in the comments and thanked him for being his savior. And y’all didn’t tell me he sang Daechwita!!!! ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!!! Even though he substituted Suchwita in the lyrics hahahahahaha. He also praised Taehyung on changing up his singing style as it became sweeter. Good job! AWWWW.

And he got me laughing out loud when someone commented for him to stop drinking, it’s not healthy... he says, if his body stays healthy it wonders what it’s supposed to do and it stops doing its job so he introduces unhealthy components (like beer) for it to wake up and fight inside and that’s how he’ll become healthy... HAHAHAHAHAHAA, oh Kookie. Don’t tell people that! they will believe it! Armys are gullible!

What he really meant with that explanation is: “don’t lecture me.”

Bless his neighbors... who surely can hear him singing through the walls at 4:00 a.m. ...

Jungkook gave us the long awaited tattoo explanations. Honestly, does anyone think NO ONE has EVER asked him what the tattoos mean? Do you think he’s NEVER had to explain to anyone? EVER? What exactly would anyone expect him to say about certain ones? He also didn’t speak about covering the tiger with the black sun... he says when he first got them, he didn’t put much thought into it so maybe the tiger was one of those things and he covered it up with something that had more meaning. An eclipsed sun. And he got the eye because he wanted to be mindful of his actions because he’s always being watched... he says this right after saying he got tattoos thoughtlessly, LOL! He doesn’t like the moon on his shoulder and intends to get it covered someday. It’s okay, the sun is eclipsing because of the moon inside his elbow.

I’m sad to hear he had a bad tattoo experience here in the States.

ALL of the complex tattoo meanings that have been floating around have ALWAYS been fan speculation.

And, Tattoo Proof Anon, I deleted your ask because nothing has been debunked. Don’t you have a life or something you should be paying attention to instead of parking on blogs waiting for your “gotcha” moment that’s never gonna arrive?

A nod to Polyc’s incredible talent:

HAHAHAHAHAHA Tae comes into the comments and JK is like, “hold on Taehyung, I’m talking about something sincere...” Bro don’t interrupt me, I’m talking to Army about something serious.

Switch to Instagram...

Then, for the first time in the history of Bangtan, two members do a simultaneous Instagram Live...

The IG live... was short... JK seems tentative about doing the live in Instagram... man was all “don’t tell me what to do” while on Weverse but Instagram has him questioning his morals. Tae smiles big when he sees Bam, apparently having not seen him in a while. Tae makes a little snarky “if it makes money comment” about it and then after playing with the Instagram filters and remarking that Weverse needs to make a zoom feature so they can all be on at the same time because two is not enough, Tae said “I gotta sleep, peace out.” Later, bro.

Back to Weverse...

Welive #2: Jungkook mentions he is going to detox for five days... and then eat something yummy. That lasted less than 24 hours as we’ll see in his #3 Welive.

He mostly is singing his heart out in between telling Armys not to lecture him.

Y’all didnt tell me he (half) sang Despacito!

Someone already put a clip of his Welive he just did singing Dreamers on YouTube:

I thought for sure he passed out on us.

And he finally calls it a night after the sun rises... sweet (stubborn) thing.

I’m choosing (right now) not to be concerned with Jungkook’s stoppage on working. However, I reserve the right to change my mind should more information become available.

JM’s Welive, JK #3 Welive and #4 (if they put it back up), to come after the Weverse translations are provided.

#i truly believe the way i write gets lost in some of y'alls translations #because some of y'all act like you just showed up to the party #at least read up a bit so you can know where i'm comin' from #also i think you think i give a shit what you think #which i dont hence you got deleted #jungkook on weverse #jungkook #pjm1 is coming

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evebsreviews · 11 months

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Wandering Son - 2002

Where do i start?

Takako Shimura’s 'Wandering Son' is beautiful manga that tackles growing up as a trans kid. The story follows Shuichi Nitori as he goes through life and experiences various feeling of gender dysphoria. As someone who is somewhat transgender, this manga hit incredibly close to home, and if you are trans yourself i cannot recommend this manga more. I'll nudge you to check the manga out before reading this review, as it will have some spoilers. You can read it free on mangadex.

Now, without further adieu, let’s get into what makes this manga so good.

First, I want to compliment Takako Shimura’s artstyle. Scenes often have no background, and if they do, it’s very simplistic. This places more focus on the characters, which of course are the main driving force of manga such as this. I also love the watercolor covers for each volume; their design expands on the cozy vibe of the manga.

Speaking of the vibe, 'Wandering Son' beautifully depicts how it feels to be a young trans person. Although it may be a bit rose-tinted, it’s still outstanding for being written by a cis woman. Shuichi is often depicted pondering his gender identity at night and we see him become slowly more dysphoric as he matures.

Of course Shuichi is not the only lead. Yoshino Takatsuki takes the role of a deuteragonist early on, and is unfortunately slightly phased out of the spotlight later on. She is the transmasc to Shuichi’s transfem, but unlike Shuichi, she doesn't remain trans for the entire story. This kind of feels like a copout, because she outwardly presents masculine for years and even wishes she had a penis at one point, but I'm not going to pretend like that never happens to people. Gender identity can shift over time and it’s important to have a depction of that.

Now, despite the praise I've given this manga, it definitely has flaws.

In chapter 12, Takatsuki gets sexually assaulted by an adult, which is very out of place and sudden in a manga like this. This never gets adressed again and the character who assaulted her never has any consequences.

Shuichi’s partner, Anna, ends up very underutilized in the grand scheme of things, which is sad, as i think her character is one of the most interesting ones in the manga. Despite that, her indifference to Shuichi’s transness is what leads to one of the most impactful panels (at least to me) in the last chapter.

This panel hits you like a brick by the end. The last chapter focuses on Shuichi detailing his experience throughout the manga through his eyes. We are shown the good and bad, everything that has happened to him so far. And right at the end, we see him finally come out as transgender to Anna. Her reaction is of pure acceptance, all she asks him is “Does that mean I'll be a lesbian?” showing that no matter what, she still loves him.

'Wandering Son' has become one of my all-time favourite manga since i’ve read it and it’s a huge shame that Takako Shimura’s work is severely underrated. Regardless of it’s flaws, i think it’s one of the best manga depictions of transgender themes i’ve read. If you still haven’t read it (despite my suggestion in the opening) i genuinely think you should at least give it a try.

And with that, my first review comes to a close. Hope you liked reading it! The next one will be up at some point, i’m planning on doing one of evangelion but if you have suggestions, submit them! I'll at least try to look over any suggestions.

#review #manga #trans pride #trans rights #transgender #transfem #transmasc #transfemme #trans man #trans women #happy pride 🌈#pride #lgbtqia #pride month #pride month 2023 #wandering son #takako shimura

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rileys-battlecats · 1 year

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hey! i recently found your youtube, then your tumblr, and have become embroiled in your cats world! i saw your recent post that your blog is only about a year old?? thats insane! do you have any tips on how to get people interested in your worldbuilding? and to get over being scared to share anything? i often dont share things because it never even occurs to me that others would be interested. do you have any thoughts on all this? what you're making seems like so much fun and I want to play in the space similarly, so to speak! anyway, really excited to see more from you--thank you for sharing!

bro i am still baffled that people wanna know more about my little kitty-cat characters. I don't really know how to get other people interested, cause im not sure what I did to get here lol!!

I started this blog after "The Garden" took off and people were asking about character references. And since I was open to people asking questions, and tried answering them in an engaging way, things kinda picked up from there! I already had a lot of worldbuilding ideas mushed in my brain so this blog kinda became an outlet for all that. I put my tumblr in my youtube bio and in my video's descriptions and then people started showing up haha! I was also lucky to have a few people who regularly asked questions about the world and the characters, which I think encouraged other people to ask their own questions. If you look at my earliest posts, they're all just character references with little descriptions of their characters, and it slowly turns into more and more answered questions that devolve into an info dump of worldbuilding or character details lol. I've tried to keep a semblance of mystery to the story while also giving the people here an inside look at the characters and world! People get to be a part of the storytelling, because they can send in their ideas or interpretations of events and we can expand on them together as a community!

As for getting over the fear of sharing, it honestly helps me that this is all online and I don't have to look at anyone's face to explain things lol. Trying to explain the story to my family when they ask about it is SO hard for me; I feel ridiculous when I try talking about it out loud to them, I always feel the need to downplay the topics I'm covering when I do. Which I recognize is a symptom of people making fun of my interests as a kid so now I'm incapable of talking about them as an adult BUT we don't need those bad vibes rn. The way I see it, the blog exists and if someone is interested, they'll look at what I'm posting! If they aren't interested, they won't look! So even if I post something and it gets no engagement, it's still there if anyone is interested enough to read.

On the whole, I think the secret to having success here is to be smiled upon by the youtube algorithm gods tbh!! I definitely would not have the community I have without that engagement from youtube lol. I was definitely lucky!! Part of it is because I've created an interesting story with interesting characters (at least, I hope they're interesting HAHA) but I think it would be disingenuous to not make a note of how much luck plays into online 'success'. So my only real advice would be to start creating! Try to make things that would interest you, things that you have fun working on, and hopefully people will find it! If you want to try to find a community to springboard off of, I know the folks in my discord are super nice and supportive with other people sharing their ocs :)

Thanks so much for the interesting question!! I hope it's helpful, I'm sorry I don't have much in the way of concrete advice ^^;; it's really been such an awesome experience to be able to share my ideas with everybody here, I wish you the best of luck in your own future projects!!

#ask #rye.txt #advice #sorry this took so long to answer! I was in a bit of a funk after posting my last video #and once I got out of that the new zelda game came out #and I got lost in the sauce

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some-creep · 2 years

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Random Callie and or Marie headcanons in no particular order with some more evidence based than others. They're mostly uh hmm more Serious than the usual list like this.

I think all inklings have skin spots to some extent, some more noticable than others. Callie and Marie are no exception however the current trend is seeming like you have none so they're both covered in concealer. Marie is naturally less patterned than Callie. Callie isn't used to seeing herself without makeup and is often worried Marie doesn't really like her without it on.

Junk food addict Callie probably developed an eating disorder from her time in the spotlight and being forced to maintain a "proper" weight. When she retired, she eventually ended up gaining weight, which she also feels badly about. Marie reassures her she much prefers her healthy. (And thinks Callie is cuter chubby)

Marie no longer speaks to her parents. They thought her idol dreams were a waste of time so she stopped talking to them after she left for Inkopolis. It's also made her weird about money because for a while, it was just whatever she could make an a runaway 14 year old with big dreams trying to support herself and Callie. They worked together, of course, but Marie still felt obligated to take care of her.

Not only that I think they were emotionally neglectful, and Marie much preferred spending time with her grandpa. It's why she picked up chargers and why she usually seems to be the one more concerned about him. (In octo expansion she joins the chat at the end to ask him what she should make them for dinner)

By contrast Callie's parents were very supportive of her dreams, knowing there wasn't much for them in Calamari County. Still, Callie's mom probably worries a lot. I don't think Callie would tell them about being kidnapped because she knows how badly it would freak them out.

Marie has a peculiar Inkling problem that makes her brain fixate on one particular person as a partner. It's a biological leftover from early Inkling society that required strong pair bonds to ensure species survival. It's mostly vanished in modern society and can be treated if tested for early on. Marie wasn't so lucky and developed with it untreated. Now as an adult her brain has decided she's Callie-sexual above all else. This gives her a strangely intimidating vibe to others and no one can ever really pinpoint why. She's basically two degrees from feral walking around acting totally normal.

This causes her a great deal of distress because she worries Callie only agrees to be with her out of a sense of obligation. Callie reminds her not only is that not the case, they got together before she knew anything about this so how could that even be true.

Callie can and has pursued normal relationships before Marie, but Marie makes her happy and understands all of her hangups and faults.

Callie has nightmares semi regularly after being kidnapped (though she holds no resentment to any of the Octoling soldiers she stayed with).

Marie can't fall asleep before Callie because she needs to be sure of exactly where Callie is before she can relax.

Marie is terrified of someone finding out about them in public. Callie doesn't think anyone is gonna notice if they walk arm in arm. Sensationalist tabloids occasionally print stories suggesting they're dating in secret.

All of Callie's close Octoling friends know they're dating because Octarian society is structured differently so it literally does not matter to them.

Callie never bothered to get her driver's license because Marie has hers + they have drivers for important things.

:) and they love each other very much

#aohota #hotaao #weird Inkling hormonal hangups my beloved<3

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calypsoff3 · 2 years

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Seven. Part 2

Chris actually makes me angry; maybe I need to give him time to just get over it but I don’t want him to speak to Rylee. Not after the things he says, I am just not getting why she took the blame for something that isn’t her fault. Tianna hasn’t been there for her sister at all so this is blowing my mind, let me check on Rylee. I need to keep an eye on her, she is going to feel low. Going upstairs, I will then go to see Tianna because I want to know why she isn’t being there for her sister because it’s ok to ride with Rylee when she was on a high but now she’s going through that she isn’t there, it’s too late for her to jump on it now because I’m saying for her to do it so she’s really fucked this one up now. Knocking on her bedroom “she keeps her bedroom door open too” looking behind me and at Chris “oh be quiet” I have had enough of hearing him now, shaking my head. Now I don’t know if she said come in, let me knock again but Chris came around me and pushed the door open “keep the door open” oh he’s going to make her life hell “no” I closed the door “you leave her alone, she can keep her door shut. You have done enough” I pointed “have I? This is why she fucked up, you allow it” he said “leave her alone” I said, Chris side eyed me and walked off. Opening the door walking into her bedroom “it’s just me” closing the door behind me “and you can have your door closed, he’s just being mean now” Rylee nodded her head, I hate to see my daughter sad “Rylee, you told me you didn’t know anything about Ti and this boy, but you took the blame. Why?” She shrugged “that’s what older siblings do right, I’m already getting in trouble. She hates me because I’ve got her phone taken off her, I didn’t want her to get in trouble so I took it, that’s it” shaking my head “no it’s not that’s it, you shouldn’t have taken blame for something you didn’t do even if you are trying to take up for her, that you’re trying to be there for her, who is Cody? You know him” Rylee shook her head “never spoke to him, but I’ve heard of him. He’s a white boy, that’s it” she shrugged, shaking my head “you shouldn’t have taken the blame, I’m being serious, I wanted to ask. What are you like at school? The both of you?” She shrugged “she has her friend group and I have mine, that’s it. I have a headache mom, I just want to sleep” nodding my head “you can, I’m here for you Rylee. Please come to me, ok?” She smiled at me lightly “thanks mom” she pulled her covers over her as she turned away from me, I wish this all ends, I hate it all so much. I am going to try and not argue with Chris, I want us to speak like this as adults because I don’t want to speak to Sade, I don’t want to keep on going back to that, we have moved on, we can’t just be wanting to run there at every inconvenience.

Knocking on Tianna’ door “yes?” Opening the door “it’s just me” walking into her bedroom “hey mom” she has her TV on with Netflix playing in the background, while Rylee has had hers taken off her “erm, do you want to turn that off and look at me” I said, “oh yeah” she said has she turned around and muted the TV “how are you feeling?” I asked “erm, ok I guess. Just annoying, all the bad vibes and negative energy which is of course Rylee’ fault. She always starting something off, she’s really hurt dad, she’s really upset him too. Even if we are going out, he just grumbles and then says don’t you both hurt me, meaning Imani and me. He’s miserable really” nodding my head “Tianna, I know. I’ve read everything you have put about Rylee, how you agreed with this Cody boy about your sister, about her being the type to have more boys, like she’s passed around and not loving” Tianna cringed “well I knew you would see it but there is people there at school that say that, there is rumours that Rylee has slept with two boys there mom” I shushed her “don’t say that aloud” Chris would lose his mind “but it’s true, there has been, she’s done things with boys” I am pissed off with her “and what did you do? Agree” I said “I questioned her, and she said no it’s not true but then I saw her go into the toilets with a boy? I mean they was playing around; she did say no but then I walked off” what is with these girls “you both are stressing me out, oh my god” I said, “so you think your sister is a hoe?” Tianna shrugged “girl, don’t make me beat you. How dare you let her take that shit? You knew she didn’t know this Cody guy; you know it and you let it happen, sat there like an angel. You know how much shit your sister is in, and you allowed her to add more to it? Why? Tell me why? I know the truth; I know it all. I am so angry at you” there is really nothing she can say that will fix this “I mean she just did, she’s already in trouble anyways. I don’t know” balling my fist up “you know what, you’re being a very bad sister. You tell your dad the truth, by tomorrow. Or I will tell him, you are not getting away with that behaviour” I said “shall I tell dad that Rylee came out of the bathroom with boy too, we know Rylee is your favourite” shaking my head “you know what Tianna, go for it. Come on, let’s go now” she frowned at me “come, tell” Tianna looked away from me “I am watching you, and I ain’t going to let it slide” waking off, I don’t believe she did come out of a bathroom with a boy like that, I believe my daughters are both virgins; I know.

Chris is laughing and I don’t see the joke “you done huffing and puffing? Can we talk? Can I sit on the bed or you going to stare at your laptop” licking my lips “sure” I said closing my laptop “thank you, damn. Like I know you pissed with me but let’s talk at least” nodding my head “I put the boys to bed for you” he sat on the edge of the bed “I don’t agree with how you are with Rylee, you just made her close off on us. I want to know what your friend did to her, I expected better from you knowing what I went through” he rested his hand on the bed “can I talk now?” He asked “you are projecting how you are and how you feeling on Rylee and it ain’t nothing wrong with that but she needs to be also told off, I don’t like how she has been. I have said it countless of times Robyn and you know this. Being away and leaving you with them, you clearly struggled. Rylee has been asking to be in trouble from me. She acts grown; she acts like she is above. She literally thinks she can just live under your name; ain’t happening” he is full of shit “she can do as she pleases Chris, that is my daughter. My baby, she is me. You’re right, but you are being the least supportive to what happened to her, a grown man sent her a dick picture and you just overlooked that part. You hindered her and made out she is the bad person when your angel Tianna was lying out of her ass” Chris laughed “huh yeah, is that for real. I’m about sick of these girls” Chris got up from the bed, well I don’t want him to bark “Chris, don’t you dare wake them up and I am being serious! Stop right fucking there” I said to him “then what did you mean?” Shaking my head “that not everything is what it seems Chris, ok? That is it, but I really want you to think long and hard about what you said to Rylee and how you said it and if she deserved that because she didn’t. Remember Chris, she is suffering too. But I’m going to sleep, think on it on your own. I’m not doing it for you” he can think on it but knowing him he will have the same attitude as before “she really fucked up” see this is what I mean with him, let me sleep.

My plan was to wake up early, but I didn’t, and Chris is awake before me, now that shouldn’t have happened because I have a meeting today too. Wrapping the robe around me as I made my way out of the bedroom, but I abruptly stopped, oh there is a meeting without me. Seeing Chris, Tianna and then Rylee in the hallway “I ain’t arguing with you I just want to know the truth” closing the door behind me slowly “about what?” Rylee asked “your mom said that Tianna is lying, and I asked Tianna and she said ask you, I am asking you then you can go back to your room, so did you know about Cody? I am giving you the chance now, if I find out you lying to me Tianna, I swear to god. You will be in the same position as your sister” slowly walking over to them “I knew, it’s on me. I shouldn’t have let her be alone with him, I should have kept an eye on her” why is she doing this “are you going to apologise now dad? You were being mean” Tianna said “hell nah, you still knew about Rylee” he said “but it’s not my fault she broke your heart” I cleared my throat “Rylee get ready, you can come with me to my meeting at Fenty, I am taking Junior with me too” Tianna looked at me and so did Chris “your favourite children” Tianna said “I said these four walls” Chris turned to me “I said I am taking them, get ready Rylee” walking off “you always walk off knowing full well I am going to come and speak to you” he is right, I am running from him.

I ran into the bathroom and Chris slammed the door shut “now you can argue it out here, so proceed” I said “you just want me to argue with you don’t you? I have told her she isn’t doing shit while you’re there floating around and letting go out?” I laughed “a meeting isn’t fun” I shrugged “but taking Rylee and Junior for what? Even Tianna said your favourite kids” rolling my eyes “you know what Chris; I don’t care anymore. She is with me, her mother. I will bring her back, I don’t want my teenage daughter thinking she did wrong with your friend ok, that wasn’t her fault, stop this Chris please. This is your first born daughter, the one you adore and love. The girl that protects her siblings when we argued, she isn’t this evil girl” Chris moved back from me “she has hurt me ok and Rylee told me, she knew about the white guy” Chris walked off, this is driving me crazy. I am going to bring this up with her, she cannot be doing this and taking up for Tianna, if she wants to fuck up then she can but not at the expense of Rylee. She is practically getting away with it but I need clarification on this whole bathroom thing with Rylee before I do, I am just fed up. I knew teenagers would be a handful, but this is crazy.

Junior is quiet for once; thank the heaven he is. He has his face all up in that tablet “thanks for letting me come to the meeting with you” I cooed out “why wouldn’t I? I mean if I can help you I will, you can only hang with me so appreciate these moments, I wanted to ask something. I bought up with your sister why she hasn’t been taking up for you, we went back and forth, and she bought up that apparently you came out of the toilets with a boy? Rumours about you having sex in school with boys?” Rylee’ stared at me in horror “she said that!?” she spat; she looks so offended “yes but I want to know from you, what happened?” Rylee shook her head “wow, she said that to you. Ok so” Rylee turned to me in the SUV “I finished my performance with the cheerleaders, we did a little something when they finished playing, which was fine and I literally know the boy, he is in my class. We had a little joke, so I am walking after that thing, all hype he jokingly, and mom nothing happened, we was laughing. He pushed me into the toilets like fake kidnapping me, I didn’t even know Tianna was there, then they all said ooohhh y’all getting it in, we get in the toilet. We laughed, he is a goofball, literally nothing happened. I came out, that was it, she asked me but clearly she is making things up now, I’ve never had sex” I grunted “right, thank you” sometimes wish I split the schools these kids go too, it’s like they hate each other anyways.

Jah groaned out “you let the demon out sis” he said looking at Junior “he’s quiet, don’t look at him. Once you do then you let out the demon, he’s ok. Stop it” I laughed, my team is slowly coming into the meeting room “look at the twins, one has aged. The other so fresh faced, do you wish you was that young again?” Looking at Rylee “uhm, maybe not that age but maybe the mark where I met Chris again; I think that’s where I would like to go back” Rylee chuckled “I’m only sitting in, I don’t have any input in this by the way” she added “why not? You will be taking over the Fenty empire so I think you need to have an opinion?” Jah said “niece! Nice of you to be here, I done seen the headlines, let me guess you’re in the doghouse now with your dad?” Jen knows, she knows what Chris is like “could say that again” she laughed “Chris hasn’t changed a little, but I am glad he did what he did to that guy, he does come in handy for those things” Jen said “tell me about it, I think everyone knows about me and what happened. It’s been a learning curve anyways” Rylee said “aww it’s never your fault though; remember” I hope she always knows it’s never her fault; the whole situation is not her fault at all “how does mommy bear feel about it?” Jah makes me laugh “I am sad, that is the honest truth. But we move, things need to be dealt with slowly and will be dealt with. Rylee needs to understand we are doing this to protect her” smiling at her.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfic #Chrianna Fanfiction

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mmdaylight · 2 years

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Dev Log #2.0: Welcome Home

Hiya everyone! I know it's been a week or so since my last update! I have been hard at work honing in on the next set of information to be released, here is the info! PS, I have post spoilers in this one:

I have started working on the next NPC, which spoiler alert, is Kafei. I was very hesitant to start working on him because Kafei has absolutely NONE official art as an adult. The only glimpses we have of him as an adult are a back view from the non canon manga and a rough concept sketch that's from the side view. I am using these to help me build his design while taking some features from his father Mayor Dotour. Because Neoma's outfit is very similar to Kafei's, I am making minor adjustments to that as well. Overall I think you guys will like him a lot!

I am working on mask designs still. I am currently in the process of coloring one and I can't really decide on the colors!

Brainstorming on how I will cover Termina and Clocktown events (festivals and such), as I do have a few in mind!

This isn’t really related to MM-D directly but I got a gaming PC for the first time in my life. It was a prebuilt from Best Buy, It's not the best out there but it definitely suits my needs. Because of my new computer I decided to play Majora's Mask 3d (I own the game legitimately) with the project restoration patch, and it made me remember how BAD Majoras Mask 3D was in terms of a remake. Even with the restoration mod, it's still obvious they changed things that don’t make sense to change. Examples of this are the Astral Observatory’s vibe is completely nerf’d, and they changed the BSS members locations for some reason? Maybe it's to give new fans a different experience but ehhh.. Anyway, generally speaking I think it's safe to say MM-D is based around the original game and not the remake. Some aesthetics from the remake may be present but none of the weird changes they made are relevant in this project.

Anju's art has been edited to have her wear the pendant of memories. I was going to have Neoma put it on, but I think its more realistic for Anju to wear it. I think Anju would pass it down to to Neoma one day, maybe when Anju is elderly.

Anyways, that's all I have for now. If you have any questions or want to send feedback you can send it over via the contact page! Thank you for all of your support as well, I am so incredibly passionate about Majora's Mask and I am glad I get to share that with you all!

#update #dev log #majoras mask #majoras mask daylight #mm d #the legend of zelda

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millylouedward · 6 months

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November Reading Wrap Up 2023

Well folks, my favorite month of the year has come and gone. There's something about the quietness of November that fills me with peace. The leaves are well into turning orange and red and yellow. People start to stay indoors and avoid the cold. The sun leaves more quickly. This was my first November in Seattle, and overall it was a good one. I wrapped all of my Christmas presents early, had a nice Thanksgiving dinner with my girlfriend, finally watched Love, Actually, and spent a lot of time with my cats. I also went a little overboard and read seven books. That's right, SEVEN books. In one month. Cue Miley Cyrus Can't Be Tamed.

There comes a time when an adult woman must regress to her childhood for reasons unbeknownst to scientists. Last month, I finally hit that point. It all started in September when I saw Rick Riordan speak at Benaroya Hall about his new Percy Jackson book, The Chalice of the Gods. Being around all these PJO fans got me thinking that I should reread the series before getting to the new book. So a few days later, I crept on over to eBay and found myself the OG copies of the PJO series. And to make it even better, it was four paperbacks and one hardcover, just like I used to own. At some point I guess I donated my original copies. But when the movie came out for The Lightning Thief in 2010, I ran (not walked) to the bookstore and bought the entire series. The Last Olympian was still only in hardcover at the time, so I bought it along with paperbacks for 1-4. No offense to the artist of the newer covers, but I just had to have the originals or else it wasn't the same.

At this point, you might be thinking that I binged the series as soon as I got them, but you would be wrong. I fell into a short reading slump in October and couldn't bring myself to read anything. That was until I received the notification from my library that my ebook of The Woman in Me was available.

Warning: spoilers ahead for some books!

The Woman in Me - Britney Spears ★★★★★

Did I think this memoir was very well written? No. Did I describe it as a "fantastically written memoir" in my Goodreads review? Yes. I cannot stomach it when a celebrity (or anyone) writes a memoir that isn't somewhat chronological. It doesn't even have to be chronological if it follows a clear path along the timeline. Maybe we have two timelines that are divided as childhood ages 6-12 and adulthood ages 20-30 because similar events happened that led to the present. That is fine. What I don't like it when an author jumps from 26 to 7 to 13 to before they were born to 30 to 19 and back to 7. Britney does not do this. She writes chronologically, and for how chaotic her life story is, it paid off. She both reflects on her pain and gives narrative accounts. Frankly, it was a vibe, and I'm a sucker for memoirs so this was always going to be a highly rated read from me. #FreeBritney.

PJO: The Lightning Thief - Rick Riordan ★★★★☆

This is where my PJO reign of terror commences. At first, it was sweet and innocent. I started reading this in October, but then put it down after 40 pages to read library books. I was worried I wouldn't be able to get into the story again. I mean, I read this series when I was 12 and I'm 26 now, and very much not the target audience. Nonetheless, after binging the Britney memoir, I was back in the game and I gobbled this book up like a turkey. Can I just say I had no memory of reading more than half the stuff in this book. Like I couldn't even remember how it ended. I only recalled the main plot (stolen lightning bolt) and there being a mattress store. Crusty's Water Bed Palace turned out to be way more horrifying than I remember. And the Underworld waiting room made me feel constrained and anxious in the best way. Ugh, I loved this book.

PJO: The Sea of Monsters - Rick Riordan ★★★★☆

Full disclosure, TSOM was always my least favorite book in this series. I didn't remember why. I still don't. But I think it's because it's orange and the eye freaks me out. I'm a blue girlie. But this book was amazing. I read Atalanta by Jennifer Saint a while back and it made this book come to life in a new way for me. Sooo many of the characters and monsters of Atalanta made appearances in the Sea of Monsters. The part where Annabeth wants to hear the songs of the sirens and Percy has to literally jump overboard to stop her, then protect her in an underwater bubble of air had me screaming crying throwing up. I am a Percabeth shipper for LIFE.

PJO: The Titan's Curse - Rick Riordan ★★★★★

I always said The Titan's Curse was my fave in this series. It's probably because there's a horse on the cover (sort of). At this point, I am well into Project Reignite Milly's PJO Obsession. When I tell you I sprinted all the way to the Link after finishing TSOM at work, I was seriously running. I barreled through the door of my apartment, ran to my bookshelf, and grabbed TTC. I made a drinky drink (an apple cider chai) and began my descent into this book. I did not stop reading for basically an entire day. And as I reached the halfway point of November, I was actually gripping my seat because of the wild ride I was on. I was reading this while googling flights to Nevada so I could see the Hoover Dam. I want to go to the dam snack bar. And get some dam fries. And fight off a dam monster.

PJO: The Battle of the Labyrinth - Rick Riordan ★★★★☆

I'll admit that I never much cared for TBOTL either. It's because the cover is red. Again, warm tones are not my vibe, and apparently neither is being trapped. I was actually afraid to fall asleep at night when I started this book. I have literally had panic attacks from being trapped before. The whole getting lost inside an endless labyrinth is soooo not my jam nor toast. Not even my eggs or bacon. But I still had a good time rereading this. Also, the Percabeth kiss LITERALLY had me weeping and throwing my book across the room with joy.

Girlfriend on Mars - Deborah Willis ★★☆☆☆

Let me get one thing straight, I thought this book wouldn't be. Straight, that is. I don't know why, but I had it in my head that this was going to be about lesbians on Mars as part of a reality show. I thought it would be silly and gay. Who lied to me??? WHO?? This book sucked. I'm so serious, it was trash to me. If you like My Year of Rest and Relaxation, or The Bell Jar, Girlfriend on Mars is up your alley because all this book is is two annoyingly mentally unwell people making everyone else's lives suck because they won't go to therapy. And to make it worse, they're both cishet. There were things to like about this book, like the realness of it. It was so horribly true to what I imagine would happen if some douche mcgee billionaire sent innocent stupid reality stars to outer space without the guidance of a real astronaut. Aside from that, I hated the plot holes, the characters, the inconsistent grammar, the pop culture references. I went on a walk with my girlfriend a couple days after finishing this book and I kept hearing myself say, "And another thing I hated about Girlfriend on Mars was..." I just cannot contain my distain for this book. Deborah Willis please keep your literature far away from me.

Tell Me Everything - Minka Kelly ★★★★★

And here we are at the conclusion of November and my manic reading frenzy. Minka Kelly's memoir was the breath of fresh air I needed. It literally cured every annoyed bone in my body after the hate crime that was Girlfriend on Mars. This memoir was so good that if it was a bowl of soup I was plunging myself into it like I was shredded chicken. The prose! The dialogue! The scene setting! I swear, this narrative is so whimsical I wanted to do a little dancey dance every time I read a perfectly written paragraph. Now, I was totally expecting Minka to tell us a lot about her acting career. I am a huge Detroit: Become Human fan and hoped to hear about her time on that set. Instead, this was all about her childhood, and I ate it up anyway. Her story is devastating, heartbreaking, and yet so gripping. Memoir fans, y'all got to go get this one right now I tell you!

I'm writing to you from my office right now, and it's about time for me to go home. I'm reading Iris Kelly Doesn't Date right now and all I can say is I'm anticipating a very high rating from this one. Definitely going to write an entire post about the Bright Falls series because my gay self is literally swooning over Ashley Herring Blake's characters. Ugh.

Also, this a new blog and my first post! I've been active on Goodreads for a couple years and I wanted to expand my reading into blog format where I can say a bit more about my love of books. I'll be posting here on the reg, but still staying active on Goodreads!

#books #books & libraries #booklr #bookworm #books and reading #reading #bookish #currently reading #reading wrap up #november books #new books #wrap

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x3rrorx · 7 months

Note

Just wanted to say, I’m sure a majority of us in the fandom side with you. We just don’t really comment much about drama on social media. From the looks of it, many of us are so fed up with these crazy, toxic, and manipulative fans.

They’re trying so hard to make you or others who do not side with them look like the villain with their vindictive lies they try to spew in their delusional small echo chamber. Their ignorant lies of shit wreaks and no matter how much they try to cover it, they can’t get rid of the smell of shit with more full of shit coming out of their mouth.

They need to stop playing victim because they’ve made their bed, now they need to lie in it. They’ve dug themselves in a bigger hole and grasping at straws to get themselves out of it. It’s not hard to own up to your wrongdoings and grow from it. We are all adults here, but these people are doing the complete opposite. They are immature and this parasocial behavior they have is getting out of hand. No one deserves to get cancelled or harassed, and yet they are doing that to others.. the very thing they are crying wolf about that they don’t like being done to them, even though they are the ones lying and creating the drama in the first place. It’s very hypocritical.

It’s sad bc the band is growing rapidly, and they deserve to enjoy all the success they worked so hard to achieve. This tour especially signifies a big milestone for the band and should be a time of celebration/excitement for both the band and fans to come together on this journey of their success.

For these “fans” to let their inflated egos think that they are the main reason for Bad Omens success, believing they deserve to be entitled to more, and that the guys have to bow down to their beck and call in order to get their “super fan support” to “pay their bills” is absolutely mind bottling and crossing boundaries.

Bad Omens music is already a massive gift in itself that the band is willing to share with us to get through tough times.

I hope the genuine fans who support the band and actually here for the music will still be there for the band despite the very few who are the loudest, toxic, manipulative, and obnoxiously immature. The band’s music has helped me get through a tough time in my life, and that’s what I try hard to remember of why I still want to be around to support the band even if these toxic fans make me not want to go to a concert. I’d still be willing to give it a try and hope it’ll be a good, safe, and fun experience at a concert.

These few bad apple fans are fickle and hopefully they’ll stop and just enjoy the music without creating drama, or leave the fandom if they can’t be civil.

Noah’s personal life is his personal life. People can make mistakes, learn, and grow. For his ex-fling to try and crucify Noah now at the height of his career shows she does not genuinely care for him and want the best for him. If she really is trying to “move on,” she is not doing a good job of showing that intention. For her to brag about her personal business out there and answer fans with explicit detailed answers shows she wants people to know and frankly does not want to “move on” because she wants revenge by making fans think of Noah differently in a bad light to not support him.

Again, there’s always two sides to the story and if ex-fling thinks a majority of the fandom who genuinely support Bad Omens for their music is going to believe everything an ex fling and her minions enabling her vindictive agenda says, is quite immature for her to think.

I’m wishing Bad Omens the absolute best. The journey of success will have some unfortunate bumps along the road as they get bigger, but I hope the guys know it’s only going to go up from here. Bad Omens music speaks for them and their hard work to help others with the challenges in our life, and that their music makes it a better world for many of us.

And sending good vibes for all the genuine fans who are old and new on this journey too. We have more in common than we think, and that common bond is stronger than the discourse a few try to create ✌️

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duskamethyst · 3 years

Text

mistakes.

a/n: totally for self indulgence... don’t know how is this gonna do though since i’m not sure if a lot of people has caught up with the manga but i’m pretty sure the fandom has seen him at least once and instantly thirst for him. so, idk what colour his eyes are (i can see blue but fanwiki says green so i stuck with that and in between). this comes with a package of me pointing out how big and buff he is and idc if you’ll get annoyed over it.

word count: 6.1k

genre: AU, nsfw, smut, angst if you squint

warnings: DARK – NONCON, coercion, corruption kink, daddy kink, size kink, choking, mind break, breeding, face fucking, slight dacryphilia, spitting, age gap, degradation, virgin reader, dilf toji manhandling reader

pairing: toji x f!reader

languages available: vietnamese.

summary: you want to surprise your bestie, megumi upon his arrival home from college but things take a terrible turn.

one.

heavy rain starts pouring as soon as you’ve reached the front doorstep of the fushiguro’s household. it was a dumb idea to not bring an umbrella with you despite the sky already starting to get dark when you left home earlier, but you were willing to push your luck and started sprinting once you felt prickles of droplets landing on your skin. with a stroke of luck, you managed to escape the heavy downpour from soaking your clothes.

drawing a deep and relieved sigh, you take a moment to regain control over your breathing before knocking the big front door. aware of the aftermath of the run, you fix your hair with your hands as you wait for megumi to come and greet you.

college made you and the male to part ways until phones were the only thing that kept you both up to date with each other’s lives. ironically enough, that’s the thing you forgot to bring when you left home in a rush and excitement to surprise your dear friend since he’s coming home today. you can vividly remember the last text you read; he was at the train station and you had to estimate the time of his arrival and the time he would be at home instead of asking him.

however, you’re caught slightly off guard when a different man opens the door for you instead. nonetheless, your lips curl to a sweet smile and there’s a brief of awkward silence before he speaks. you know him, but he doesn’t seem to remember you at all.

“you’re..?” with a tilt of his head, he looks down at you with a curious brow.

“it’s me, mr. fushiguro!” you offer your name, scrutinizing the expression on his face as his forehead crinkles while he jogs through his memories. then he glances at you and away in thought and back at you again with wide eyes when he finally recalls.

“oh, it’s you!” he ruffles your hair, a bit too enthusiastic in spite of his usual character that you were always familiar with. “i haven’t seen you in a while.”

you let out a little laugh, “yeah. i think i was fourteen the last time i saw you, mr. fushiguro. but it’s nice to see you again.”

“ah, yes. i had to go out of town and overseas for business a lot.” toji explains, rubbing the back of his neck, slightly bashful that he didn’t recognize the girl– no, woman before him even when you both have met plenty of times back when you often came to play with his son since you both were still little.

but can anyone blame him? time works wonders and now the little girl he used to know has grown to be much more mature and gorgeous and so... demure.

“yeah, megumi told me. speaking of him, is he home?” you finally inquire, bringing up the reason why you’re here in the first place.

two.

“why don’t you come in first? it’s cold outside.” he says before immediately turning around without answering your question. you close the door behind you and follow him closely, also somewhat intimidated when you realize how tall and huge he is– the tight fitting shirt stretches over his wide back and accentuating his physique even more. his arms are toned and popping with veins, not the way you used to remember at least, but you’ve never cared to notice. you’re not certain of his age either, but you’re pretty sure you’d be surprised if you find out.

“do you want coffee or tea?” toji suddenly breaks the silence as you nervously stand in the middle of the room to take a glimpse around the kitchen like it’s your first time being there, completely heedless over his gaze lingering up and down your curves, observing the figure of a girl who just freshly went through her womanhood and your lascivious beauty before he quickly turns around to grab two mugs from the cabinet.

“anything is fine.” you politely reply, fear of sounding somewhat demanding if you choose your preference despite being offered with choices.

“come on, you’re giving a man a hard time.” he jokes. “and sit down.”

he’s trying to extend his invitation though intentionally sounding assertive, but when he sees that you are quick to comply and scramble to your seat, he finds it to be... stimulating. at least he knows that you’re docile and he wonders if he could put it to the test. well, doesn’t matter. he will.

“coffee is good.” you smile, interrupting his train of thoughts and he pours the coffee from the pot before walking over to hand you your mug.

“unfortunately,” he sits down on the chair next to you. “megumi isn’t home right now.” toji puts his lips between the warm mug and softly blows before sipping his coffee. “he wanted to take a short trip to the store but i think he’s going to be stuck there for a while.” he looks out the window to only see pitch black staring back at him along with roaring thunder from the skies.

“oh.” you mutter, taking a careful sip of the hot brew. a little disappointed that you couldn’t see megumi yet, but his dad is right– it’s nearly a disaster outside but you find no point hanging around any longer either.

“is it too bitter? you don’t like it?” his voice laces with concern when he notices your face involuntarily scrunches up at the bitter taste.

you quickly shake your head, “no, no. it’s fine!” you reassure, afraid that he’ll take offense from the coffee he personally made. “besides, if megumi isn’t here, i–”

three.

“oh, it’s fine if you wait here for him.” he cuts you off. “unfortunately, we don’t have an extra umbrella.” the corners of his lips tug into a comforting smile and you are quick to relax into it.

you’ve always found toji to be quite frightening when you were young. he seemed like someone who never smiled, always had a sombre and intense vibe to him that no child would be too fond of. there was no exchange of words between you two, except for your constant brief hello and a smile that you did out of courtesy whenever you bump into him inside his house, even though he never replied anything back. not even a crack on the lips to return the smile.

but today is different. probably because he finds it easier for him to talk to an adult than a child and you’re relieved that you’re able to humor him in some way.

“so, are you and megumi a thing?” he abruptly asks and glances at you as he sips his coffee.

“no, we’re not!” you titter, waving a hand in dismissal as you bring up the mug to hide your face from embarrassment.

“oh?” a glint of amusement and surprise shines in his green eyes. “are you sure?”

you blink at the question as heat warms your cheeks from the thought of dating your best friend. “yes, megumi and i are just friends. really.”

“why? because you have a boyfriend?” toji pries, uncaring if he sounds intrusive to you and you only assume that he’s trying to strike up a conversation in some old fashioned way.

you just shake your head and laugh, “it’s not that, either.”

“hmm,” he props his elbow on the table leisurely, head resting on his fist as he looks at you intently, as if in search of something. “you’re pretty hard to figure out.”

“what do you mean? i don’t think so.” you smile, bringing up the mug to cover your face again so you can shy away from his intense gaze yet he thinks that it’s endearing and he finds himself grinning unwillingly.

toji notices how you always try to look away when you get so shy over some simple questions. you’re just oozing with purity and innocence of a maiden and something dark and twisted inside him is craving to violate every part of it.

“for a start, i can’t figure out why you don’t have one.” he says, tapping his fingertips on the table as his mind is running with sinful thoughts.

“hmm, maybe because i haven’t found anyone interesting yet.” you finally lock your eyes with his as you answer, not wanting to come off as rude if you keep on talking without looking directly at the man.

“isn’t my son good for you?” he couldn’t care less to be honest; he only plans to test the waters and is even more aroused to learn that you’ve never been touched by a man before and he feels like a wolf that’s just ready to pounce on a lost, little lamb.

“oh, no, no!” why do you have to get so bashful? he’ll fuck you on this table if you don’t stop. “we just don’t see each other that way.”

he’s so lost in his thoughts and carnal desires that whatever you’re babbling seems to go in one ear and out the other.

“then, what do you think of me?” he asks nonchalantly with a smirk plastered across his face.

you blink at him once, twice. “uhh, what?” is he suddenly getting self-conscious?

“you heard me. what do you think of me?” yet he doesn’t seem like it either.

“umm,” you ponder for a moment as you think of every adjective you can find in your head that wouldn’t come out offensive if you’re going to be honest with him. why would he even ask you such a thing anyways? and why would it matter to him? there’s nothing nice about him that you could exactly pinpoint from the past except for ‘scary’, ‘serious’ and some other things revolving around those.

“i thought that you were kinda... scary?” you blurt unsurely, mentally slapping yourself for even daring to say such a thing to him. unless it’s a vibe that he was going for, then you’d be relieved.

it isn’t exactly what toji wants to hear but he laughs heartily, “really?” a shiver runs down your spine when he looks at you again, his eyes glimmering with daunt. “but are you still scared of me?”

“uh, no.” you laugh. “you’re actually really nice, mr. fushiguro.”

“oh, that makes me feel better.” another grin etches on his scarred lips as he draws his gaze to your hands that are tensing and fiddling with your sleeves and your leg is bouncing; a perfect depiction of a trembling lamb cornered in his den– and he’s fucking starving.

has he got you on edge? are you nervous? good. “but i think you should.”

a lump catches in your throat and your heart drops, “i- what?”

the chair emits a screeching sound and it stumbles backwards as toji abruptly stands up from his seat. sheer panic causes you to rise on your feet too, and your eyes dart to the chair, and the male, back and forth as your mind tries to get a grasp on the situation.

“mr. fushiguro..?” you whisper meekly, taking a step away and around the table as you notice him taking a careful yet threatening inch closer.

“no, no. i’m not gonna hurt you.” toji (barely) reassures you as he continues creeping on his feet. but the sinister smile on his lips takes out every last bit of faith you had in him and the loud voice in your head keeps telling you to run for the door and never look back– fuck the rain.

as if he can read through your thoughts, he warns. “but i will, if you run.”

the smile on toji’s face turns smug when he sees you freeze in place upon his threat. being trapped under the unpleasant situation triggers your fight or flight responses and rapid heartbeat drums in your ears as you stand in trance and trepidation.

“that’s a good girl.” he coos, taking another step forward before you decide to throw a mug at him and dash towards the door as fast as you can. you assume that toji has pushed the table to the floor when you hear a loud thud, followed by his hasty footsteps as he catches up quickly behind you.

the door that is finally within arm’s reach suddenly changes into a mirage when a strong pair of arms grabs you by the waist and your body floats as it lifts onto his shoulder. the huge contrast between the size of your body and his should let you know; no matter how much you try to resist, he will never budge. yet, your arms and legs still flail around in an attempt to punch and kick him and you’re screaming for him to let you down and just hope that anyone is able to hear your cries in spite of the thunderstorm.

well, so much for luck.

“ah, ah. you don’t wanna do that.” there’s a mocking and amusing tone in his voice as he advises you. “you should save that energy later. juuust in a bit.”

“mr. fushiguro– stop–!” you sob, watching your only escape slowly disappears out of sight when he turns to a corner and into a dark room. your body bounces onto a mattress before toji’s huge, ripped figure swiftly looms above yours and ties your hands together with a belt and onto the headboard. at this point, the illuminating lights through the windows are the only thing that aids your vision and you have to rely more on your senses.

“shh,” he shushes you with a finger against your trembling lips. “the neighbors will hear. and if they do, i want it to be because you’re getting fucked so good. so be a good little girl for daddy, okay?”

regardless of being terrified, you find yourself cringing over the nickname he refers to himself. hopefully, he won’t ask you to call him that either. “mr. fushiguro– i– please don’t do this. i- i won’t tell anyone.”

toji tsks, taking his sweet time to admire your smaller body underneath his– the exposed, soft skin on your neck waiting to be bruised, chest heaving as your breath comes deep and short, and legs pressing together to secure your modesty; though will prove to be futile later.

“i know you won’t.” his thumb grazes against your lips, mesmerized by its plushness as he imagines it wrapped prettily around his throbbing cock. “are you a virgin?”

you only nod your head, eyes wavering as you look at his darker ones before catching it shine with interest.

“never had anything inside here?” he asks again, pressing your cunt against the fabric of your pants with his fingers. the dark room makes it hard to see, but your cheeks are turning red from humiliation and you look away before shaking your head no.

“are you sure?” toji’s thumb presses down on your clit and causes your body to shudder apprehensively.

“o-only my finger.” you audibly whisper through the white noise outside.

oh, how exhilarating. guess the innocent looking ones can be lewd too. don’t you know that a cock would make you feel better? a big cock like his is definitely what you need. just a finger wouldn’t be enough to satisfy you! poor little thing.

“then i got to teach you a few things, right? it’ll come handy later. boys love girls with experiences.” he promptly strips you off from your pants before carelessly throws it to the ground and kneels between your legs to keep you wide and open for him.

“you like to be touched here?” his finger reaches down to ghost over your clothed clit, observing you with lust filled eyes while you turn away from his gaze and remain unresponsive. “daddy is a very impatient person so i suggest you answer me.”

toji pinches your clit, and your body squirms with an elicited yelp. you can only guess (and hope) that he wasn’t referring to him touching you there but you answer anyway, “y-yes.”

he hums in satisfaction, moving down until his head stops between your thighs and in front of your sex. toji grabs your thigh and spreads them apart before flattening his warm tongue against your clothed bud, causing a shiver to run down your spine and it quickly draws your attention to him.

your face heats up in embarrassment when you see toji’s head dipped in front of your pussy, but he’s only calm and teasing as his jade eyes stare up to lock with yours to look for a reaction.

“you’ve never felt a tongue over here either, hm?” he sneers, rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb and you mentally curse yourself for feeling slightly aroused over his ministrations.

“just let me go, please.” you try to close your legs, but to no avail when his rough hands push them away.

“you know, if you keep asking for ridiculous things,” toji tuts and grasps your supple thighs hard, nails digging painfully on your skin. “i might have to get rough on you. but you’re a smart girl and you wouldn’t like that, right?”

“n-no.” you choke and fidget.

“good. because i only want you to feel good.” he offers a gentle smile and kisses the dented mark on your thigh. “so, let’s start over. you haven’t answered me.”

you nibble your lip hesitantly and look anywhere but him, “no.”

“see? all the more reason for me to show you what you’ve been missing out.” he chuckles, tugging your underwear to the side impatiently.

“fuck. such a pretty pussy.” he growls at the sight of your bare cunt. there isn’t a lot of slick yet, but it’s fine, he’ll make you get there. that’s the point of this whole ordeal, right?

your body quivers naturally once you feel the foreign sensation; wet, warm muscle prodding your puffy folds up to your clit and circling on it with the tip of his tongue teasingly as he observes you from below.

your eyes are screwed shut and your lips are caught between your teeth as you try to restrict your whines from the undeniable pleasure rushing in your veins and he doesn’t stop– your pathetic attempt to deny him and your sentiments only drives him to push you over the edge even more.

with a harsh suck on your clit, he manages to get you to squeal and you can feel him smirking underneath you. toji flattens his tongue and laps off your juices again before he takes you by surprise when he suddenly slides a finger inside your tight, wet cunt.

“shh. it’ll feel good, baby girl.” he comforts when he hears you whimper at the pain inflicted and true enough, it soon begins to feel good. you’ve fingered yourself plenty of times before, but it feels different when he does it for you– his finger is thick and long that it reaches deeper than you’ve ever been able to.

toji notices you start to become quiet so he slides in another digit, eliciting yet another sob from you. the warm and moist cunny makes his cock twitch and he finds himself getting eager. your back arches from the bed when toji curls his fingers to stroke the bumpy tissues of your g-spot with every drag.

“feels good, yeah?” he grins arrogantly as your legs tremble under his hold. your breathing has turned erratic and your toes are curling as your mouth gapes in pitiful, broken cries that are just music to his ears.

“answer me, sweetheart.” he presses down a thumb on your neglected clit, reminding you that he is not keen on being ignored and disputed.

“y-yes.” you finally choke through pants and shame. though the answer comes out in hesitance, your body is more honest– pussy sopping and eliciting obscene squelches and it’s enough to satisfy him for now.

your head thrashes side to side as you feel yourself about to tip over but you still refuse to beg toji for a release.

“hah– fuck!” you whimper loudly when toji oh-so-generously sucks your clit again, fingers pumping faster inside your cunt, making your body feel even more tense with overbearing stimulation before finally pushing you over the edge and you break into a silent scream.

toji laps off your slick before he pulls out his finger into his mouth and licks them clean.

“that’s a good girl. why don’t you taste yourself?” he climbs on top of you while you gasp for air from the intense orgasm and he easily pulls you into a fervour, sloppy kiss. you can feel the wet slick on his chin and you can taste yourself at the same time as he intertwines his tongue with yours.

four.

out of spite and vexation, you found courage to bite his tongue hard and toji instantly pushes himself from you, his dark eyes express astonishment and agitation.

“fucking bitch.” he curses as his eyes narrow at you displeasingly before he takes off his pants and briefs to release his cock from its confinements. his cock is throbbing and thick, and you can almost see a trickle of precum on its head. you crumple at the sight as regret and anxiety washes over you.

“don’t worry, it’ll fit.” he says cockily upon the worrisome look on your face. “but since you like it rough, i’m sure you want to choke on it first.”

“no– i’m sorry!” you shake your head but toji only lets out a scornful laugh as he disregards your pleas and props himself on the knees and over your neck.

toji slaps the tip of his cock on your lips, gesturing you to open your mouth but you purse them into a flat, thin line and refuse to obey.

“open up. it’s a part of your lesson after all.” he snaps before squeezing your cheeks together. “it’ll get worse if you don’t listen to me.”

“d-don’t wa-ant to– flea-shh.” you whimper and toji emits a long, deep sigh as he releases his grip.

“i don’t like repeating myself.” his voice is laced with malice and chills crawls up your spine as his eyes look down at you demeaningly before you slowly open your mouth trepidatiously and wait for his next order.

“no teeth. i think you’d know that much.” he patronizes before sliding his cock inside your mouth and he hisses as the warmth engulfs his throbbing cock. “that’s it. now, suck.”

and you have no choice but to obey submissively. you slightly lift your head and struggle to take his length as much as you can before running your tongue around to feel each prominent vein.

“i said suck, whore.” he commands through gritted teeth. you hollow your cheeks, compressing his fat cock tight between them as you bop your head up and down.

“fuuuck, just like that.” toji groans as his hand reaches the top of your head and caresses you softly. you start to pick up the pace, slobbering his dick with so much saliva that it begins to seep from the corners of your mouth and it’s so wet and obscene– just the way he likes it.

“it almost makes me think that this isn’t your first time.” his head falls back and hips begin to jerk until the tip hits the back of your throat, forcing you to take more than you could. you choke as tears start to well up in your eyes and the bedhead shakes when you try to tug your wrists.

“what’s wrong? can’t take my fat cock?” he scoffs arrogantly. “you gotta work on your gag reflex, sweetheart.”

the muffles from your throat vibrate against his dick and toji groans in pleasure that he subconsciously rocks his hips, slapping your chin with his balls. your vision has become blurry and breathing becomes harder as you let him abuse your throat and your jaws ache before he abruptly pulls out and you can finally gasp for precious air.

“look at you,” his cock twitches with excitement when he sees the tears rolling down your cheeks from your doe eyes and he wipes them away with his thumb, making you flinch slightly, “are you sorry for making daddy mad?”

toji always tries to articulate each word with appease. it’s never soothing per se when you can sense the threat entwining in his voice and it’s fucking you psychologically.

and it deems to be successful when you’re already trembling in fear underneath him.

you’re uncertain whether he prefers you to speak or not, but your throat is sore so you meekly nod your head in response. it’s better than nothing, to be honest.

“good. open your mouth.”

your mouth is already parted for air but you assume that he wants to put his cock in again. submissively, yet dreadfully, you open your mouth wider and await for him to shove his cock back in but you’re surprised when toji spits in your mouth instead.

it’s warm and disgusting; you’re just left gaping and repelled, and you want to spit it out but toji squeezes your cheeks together.

“swallow.” he orders. you quickly brace yourself and close your eyes before cringing as you gulp down the mix of saliva in your mouth and toji releases his grip once he’s certain that you’ve ingested.

“i could’ve made you swallow my cum but i’d feel bad,” he chuckles sardonically. “what do you have to say?”

“t-thank you.” you whisper vaguely and he accustoms his face to a simper.

“good girl.” toji smashes his lips onto yours, yet his eyes are locked with yours ominously for a brief second– a telltale that he expects you not to pull up another stunt before they close as he deepens the kiss.

obviously, nothing would benefit you whether you comply or defy, not until you’ve catered for his insatiable lechery. but you’ve learned your lesson and although you’re compelled, you finally relent as every ounce of resistance begins to drift from you.

toji breaks the kiss and shifts lower, peppering greedy kisses on your neck before he catches the soft, chaste skin between his teeth to suck and form purplish bruising marks. he lifts up your shirt over your head and hastily unclasps your bra, causing you to shudder once the cold air hits your exposed breasts.

large, calloused hands press your mounds before his mouth latches on one perky tit, while the other is tweaked with his fingers. experienced tongue draws circles and sucks punishingly, alternating with the other nipple. the headboard rattles as you keen over the stimulation and your eyes open in dismay when you feel something hard prodding your clit.

he moves lower and spits on your cunt before propping on his knees to take off his tight shirt– through subdued glow, you can make out the outline of his toned abs and broad chest as his large build towers menacingly in front of you; even when he’s not standing on his feet.

“listen. daddy is going to release the binds, but do you promise to be good?” he asks, smearing the saliva with his cockhead and against your slit.

“yes. i- i promise.” you murmur appallingly; as if you have a choice in the matter.

toji leans over to unrestrain you then he observes you, expecting you to put up a fight but instead, you just remain still underneath him.

he grins in satisfaction, getting off to the fact that you’ve fallen into submission before he shifts back into his prior position and bends your knees up to line his cock with your hole. a feeling of triumph stirs inside him when he’s reminded that he’s the ‘chosen’ one to defile your innocence.

“stop! it hurts–!” you wail and your hands clench the sheets when you feel toji’s thick cock stretching your virgin cunt slowly, but he ignores you, groaning at the warmth that engulfs him and the tight walls that clenches him as he selfishly pushes through.

it burns. so bad. your chest heaves rapidly and you screw your eyes shut as your face twists to express pain and uncomfort. “please, please–! i can’t–”

“yes, you can.” his tone is indifferent as he holds you down since your body keeps on wincing until he finally fills you to the brim and he can see a bulge poking on your tummy.

“fuck. haven’t been inside a virgin cunt for a while.” he mutters under his breath. “now, i know it hurts but i promise you’ll enjoy it. it’s just too bad that you get to have a big cock as your first.” he snickers nonchalantly and leans down closer to your face, making you jolt when you feel it inching deeper.

“if it makes you feel better– you’re fucking tight. just the way daddy likes it.” toji whispers in your ear but you can only freeze in fear and agony.

toji hovers above you, his hands firmly grip the headboard in front of him and he begins to move his hips; thrusting in and out of your pussy.

your fists clench the sheets harder as a loud cry rips from your throat, “no! it hurts! please!”

but toji doesn’t seem to mind, his cyan orbs stare down at you coldly yet in focus as he relishes over the plush walls clamping down on his cock.

“stop! stop– i- i don’t want–!” you continuously wail as you writhe in anguish before he suddenly stops pounding and he wraps his hand around your neck instead, instantly drawing your attention to him as he applies pressure in his hold.

“if you don’t stop whining like a bitch in heat, i will fucking breed you like one.” he warns through gritted teeth, clearly agitated over your act of defiance.

“you want this. you’re going to love this.” his words are sick endeavours to coerce you into another round of complete submission.

but what else can you do? toji’s hand is so large that his middle finger and thumb almost reach each other as it clasps around your frail neck and you know he can easily crush your windpipes if he wants to.

“say it. you. want. this.” he seethes.

“i. want. this.” you barely croak each word and they’re slowly influencing your cloudy mind. as soon as he releases you, you soothe the pain around your throat with your hand as you gasp for air.

“fuck. don’t think i didn’t feel you clenching around my cock just now.” he sneers and situates himself again before ruthlessly and steadily continuing where he left off.

you only close your eyes and bite your lips hard to stop whimpering as you mentally comfort yourself and dissolve every inch of your sanity; i’m going to enjoy it, it’s going to feel good soon, i want this, i want this.

soon enough, toji notices that your muscles have relaxed– suggesting that you’ve finally caved in as pleasure overtakes you so he fucks you deeper and faster before he falls on his elbows and you can feel his bangs tickling your face.

“that’s it, baby. you make daddy feel so fucking good.” he praises between grunts. you can feel the veins on his cock dragging against your walls and he’s right, it feels so good and your lips open in breathless pants.

you find your arms to loosely wrap around his neck and your legs around his waist as if clinging onto him for dear life as toji ruts into your cunny like a feral beast.

“you like it, yeah? this is what you want, isn’t it?”

through hazy mind, you can only manage to whimper an audible ‘yes’ as you feel an odd, yet almost familiar knot twisting in your lower stomach begging to snap and your nails dig into the skin of his broad back upon the intense sensation shooting through your body.

a low, deep guttural sound leaves his throat when he feels your nails sinking and scratching his back– it prompts him to quicken his pace and you can feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix over and over, causing your back to arch simultaneously.

“i’m– i’m gonna–!” you keen as your body trembles in anticipation and your sopping cunt is clenching on his throbbing cock like a vice.

“fuck yeah. cum on daddy’s cock.” toji urges and nips on the sensitive skin of your neck to tip you over the edge and your pupils blow wide as you break into a scream. despite being your second orgasm for the night, an overwhelming euphoria washes over you for the first time of your life; is this what it feels like? you don’t know, you’ve never had one (at least not from a cock) and your pussy is just fluttering, pulsing and creaming around his cock.

“hah– fuck. good girl.”

toji remains to snap his hips, fucking you through your high as you’re left in daze from your orgasm. toji can feel his balls tensing and his thrusts are turning sporadic as he inches closer to his climax. your whines and nonsense babbles are drowned by the feeling of pleasure that’s enveloping him and he doesn’t even have the resolution to listen to you gibbering when your cunny is just milking him, sucking him in like it doesn’t want to let go and he just wants to give what your greedy pussy asks for; to fill it up with his thick load until it’s full and leaking out of you.

and daddy knows best, after all.

“shit– i won’t be able to hold it any longer. say you want daddy’s cum.” he grunts.

you’ve partly snapped out of your daze when you hear his voice again, and though you can’t see his face that’s already buried next to your head, you’re petrified and it’s making you feel dizzy and suffocated.

“i– n-no. please not–” you sob through your raw throat.

but toji doesn’t listen and you don’t know if you’re relieved or not because if he does, you know that it’ll tick him off and it’s going to do you more harm than good– but you’re scared and it hurts, that you unwillingly start to snivel again.

“shut up. you’re gonna take it like a good cumslut.” he shoves two long fingers in your mouth, causing you to choke on them.

“daddy’s gonna cum in this pretty pussy and you’re gonna fucking take it.”

toji’s grunts ring in your ears and you’re able to feel his cock twitching inside you before he finally releases hot ropes of cum– filling up and defiling your womb.

“y-you came inside..” you mumble once he takes out his fingers as you’re left entirely devastated and stupefied.

“fucking did.” he pants, lifting his body up from you and pulls out his cock to shove back the dribbling cum that’s leaking from your abused cunny with his finger. you would wince but your mind is already numb and your body is sore that you can do nothing but burn holes through the ceiling above.

“don’t look so sad.” the room resonates with his chuckles and he gets off the bed to put back on his pants. toji walks over to the nightstand where a pack of cigarettes await him and he puts one between his lips and you can hear the flicking sounds of a lighter as he tries to burn the tip.

“i can promise you that other guys wouldn’t be rough as me but one thing’s for sure,” he inhales the tobacco and exhales in a gratifying manner, “that will stay as the best fuck of your life.”

fat tears stream down your cheeks and you curl on your side, protecting your now-ruined-body as you quietly sob and your mind takes you back from how the ordeal even started and causes you to end up where you are right now– and it only makes you cry harder.

toji only lets out an exasperated sigh. he grabs his shirt from the floor and throws it on his shoulder before reaching the door.

“megumi won’t be coming home ‘til tomorrow. he said something about the train and the weather, so you can leave when you’re done. you know your way out.”

you hear the door close shut behind him and you’re left in the dark with nothing but the smell of his tobacco and the sounds of the drizzling rain accompanying you as you drown in your thoughts and griefs.

how many mistakes have you made today? four? five? or more?

you’ve lost count and you question yourself over again until you’re no longer able to care.

what’s done is done.

enjoyed this work? wanna buy me coffee? :)

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