#it’s just Caleb having emotion problem | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

The Tumblr office adopted Tommy, an 11-year-old Pomeranian.

#it’s just Caleb having emotion problem

0nlythrowharrybeaux · 7 months

Text

With Discretion - Part 2 **

Part 2 is here! We'll get to learn more about Harry's side of things and be exposed to a bit more of the mess Caleb is in, and of course...the reconnection of Y/N & Harry! I hope you guys like it! I think there will be a 3rd/final part to this fic:) Read Part 1 HERE & find my masterlist HERE.

Warnings: verbal argument, dirty talk, oral (f-receiving), hand job, p in v (unprotected), creampie, breast play, infidelity,

WC: 14.2K

… SIX MONTHS AGO …

When Harry saw your smiling face at the bar, asking him about some fictional business trip to Tokyo, his lips involuntarily turned up in a smile. He hadn’t forgotten about you because you had dropped a huge bomb on him when you revealed to him that his CFO was married. He didn’t care too much about his employees’ personal lives, but after learning that he started to notice how big of a flirt he was around the office. Those observations then led to him dedicating the occasional thought to you and how you might be fairing. He was pleased to see that you seemed to be doing well.

But there was also a part of him that felt sad for you . He thought that perhaps the knowledge of yet another lie Caleb had told you would weigh heavily on you and surely break you but he was surprised that as the night carried on you were the most composed out of your friends. You didn’t seem like you were upset in the slightest even as you drank, which was what usually drew the emotions out of people. You were having fun and singing and dancing, talking with everyone as if your life was a dream. Harry wanted to get in your head and see for himself what it was that you were thinking; he couldn’t stop looking at you…you were too beautiful to not draw his gaze so he kept looking until you were looking back just as much. And after an hour he was planted beside you, talking to you and flirting a bit and it didn’t seem to bother you. You were flirting back and he was having a lot of fun getting to know you. You were smart and kind and so much fun to be around!

What he was enjoying the most was that you seemed to be on the same wavelength internally and that was rare for him to find. Harry was great at connecting with people on the surface, but it was special for him to meet someone who made him feel like they got him. And you seemed to get him really well, he could feel this pull…an attraction that he hadn’t felt to another person in far too long, and it was electrifying and it was keeping him on his toes. He knew that there was nothing he could do to fix your situation with Caleb, but he wanted to go out of his way and shower you with kindness and chivalry while he could and maybe something in your head would click and make you leave that sorry son of a bitch, Caleb. “Harry?” You said as you came up to him.

“Yeah?” He asked, placing a hand at the middle of your back as he leaned his ear down to your mouth.

“I think I’m gonna head out. Cecilia is way too drunk, I want to get her back to the hotel before she blacks out on me somewhere and I can’t do anything about it.” You explained, “But thank you for including us tonight, it was so kind of you!”

“S’not a problem! And look, I have a car waiting around the block, I can help you take Cecilia to her hotel. Are you also staying there?”

“Yeah, we all are! But don’t worry about it! Stay and enjoy, have fun!” You assured him.

“Don’t know how much fun I can have after you’re gone, love.” He flirted and you smiled bashfully and looked away for a moment.

“Sure, sure…”

“I’m serious and also about taking you guys! I’ll feel better knowing I left you both safe and sound, alright? Please, s’no bother at all.” He said over the music and you sighed.

“OK, alright. I really do appreciate it, Harry.” You said with gratitude drenching your expression.

“Not a problem. Alright, let’s get to it.” He said as you started to get your things together.

Of course, there was a bit of traffic, even at 1am, and he watched as you ran your fingers through the top of your friend’s hair before gently massaging her scalp after she had laid down in your lap. He wanted to feel you like that; to be close to you and to smell your perfume and feel your fingers in his hair as he dozed off.

He continued talking to you, this time asking if you worked or if you had any projects you did in your spare time. And well, he learned that you ran your own event planning company, you had two masters degrees, one in Business Strategy & Leadership and the other in Finance & Accounting. You also enjoyed music, cooking, swimming, and traveling. Between the two of you, you had a lot in common, talking made the drive go by way too soon. But when you arrived at the hotel you two were in stitches as you tried to get Cecilia out of the car.

“I wonder if they have a wheelchair? Or maybe they’ll let us use one of the little luggage carts the bell boys use?” You asked through your laughter and he sputtered out a laugh.

“Unlikely. I ummm, I’m positive I can carry her.” He said to you.

“Oh my god, no. You’ve done more than enough tonight, Harry-”

“Just let me show off a bit, alright Y/N?” He teased and you giggled.

“Don’t think you need to carry Ceclia for that, but alright…” you smirked and he chuckled.

He was careful as he pulled her out of the car and well, he asked you to ensure the skirt of her dress wasn’t ridden up before you made your way inside. He noticed how friendly you were with the staff as well and that put a another good feeling about you in his chest. He wanted to know…to understand… to be able to rationalize Cal’s infidelity because from everything he had seen so far you were an angel in the flesh. Sure, some people were totally fake and had this dark side hidden within them. He’d fallen victim to that since he was young because of his family’s money and well, now his own money, so he could tell those people apart with ease now and if you were one of them he was none the wiser.

Before he knew it you guys were in the lift and you were looking through your friend’s bag for her room key. You looked relieved to find it and then shared a story about how one time in university the “responsible friend” was given the room key but lost her purse at some bar, so you all had to wait to get a replacement at the front desk. However, they had all been quite drunk so it complicated a fairly simple plan and a few of them ended up blacked out in the hallway and you and another girl had to drag them into the room when you got the replacement key.

“Are you the put-together friend, then?” Harry asked and you giggled.

“After my undergrad, yes.” You said and he chuckled.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, I was the only one who was going to grad school. I got into the Marshall School of Business on a really good scholarship, I couldn’t do anything to risk losing that. I had to have my wits about me at all times. The USC network is just so extensive, especially in LA, so I would probably run into another alumnus randomly at a taco bell at midnight. They’re very gossipy as well so while in school it’s good to just be on your best behavior.” You explained to him.

But soon enough you were leaving Cecilia in her room and he just wasn’t ready to leave you yet. So he offered to take you up to your room. Yeah, he’d been thinking about possibly kissing you or more throughout the night because there was chemistry between the two of you. The electricity was buzzing and he wanted so badly to see what would come of all of that attraction in an intimate setting, but you were married…to his CFO nonetheless! And well, he just had to ask you about what the deal was between you and Caleb. And he was shocked to learn that you’d been married to him for seven years though because Caleb had never once mentioned a wife and had always brought other dates around for parties or work outings and he felt angry at Caleb now. He wanted to tell you that this one affair wasn’t the only one, but that wasn’t his business to share. But it was shocking to him…he didn’t know how you kept your composure when you knew about his infidelity…he mentioned something about getting revenge on Caleb and he got a bit worried when your expression changed, maybe he had pushed you too far? And he was awaiting your response.

“I mean…thankfully, I don’t think I need that validation from anyone else.” You explained. Harry’s lips turned up in a smile as soon as he heard the words leaving your mouth, “I know who I am and I am happy with who I am, in every way. And not to sound arrogant, but I know what I bring to the table as a partner and if that’s not enough for someone then… their loss.” You said with ease.

Harry was absolutely blown away. He felt like his world had come to a screeching halt at your response. If he didn’t already like you before, he did a whole heck of a lot more now. He’d never met a person more put together than you and it was like a breath of fresh air. He had done a lot of challenging and painful work on himself in therapy, so he often found that most people lacked in self-worth or had no self-awareness, but you did. You were at his level mentally and emotionally and in truth, he had struggled finding partners because there was never really anyone out there who seemed to be on his level as well. If you’d been on a date he would’ve proposed to you then and there.

“You’re absolutely extraordinary.” He said without a single hint of inhibition.

And well, next thing he knew you were kissing ardently and then he was making you come over and over, showing you exactly how you deserved to be loved on. He was showing you how he would love on you if he were your man. And just getting to sink into you…he hadn’t had an experience that pleasurable in years. He was infatuated with your body and how it reacted to his. He wanted to ask you what felt good because he needed to make sure that he was doing exactly what you liked so that you could get off with intent. And hearing his name dripping from your beautiful lips was otherworldly. Everything about you was perfect and he made sure that he was treating you as such. You definitely needed the fuck, but you needed his tenderness and romancing just a little bit more. You needed to feel appreciated and seen above all else and he was going to give that to you while it was his chance to. Because as much as he was enamored with every part of you and longed to get lost in you, he knew that this was a first and last. A mere fluke of luck in his insignificant existence on this earth.

After everything he did to you, you had passed out almost immediately after he had cleaned you up. You were tucked safely into his side, cheek smushed against his brawny chest. His right leg was tucked securely in-between yours and his hand was smoothing up and down your lower back and just a bit of your bum. He couldn’t sleep without experiencing you like this for a bit. He wanted to see your soft and delicate features up close without alarming you in anyway. He wanted to get to smell you long enough to figure out what that perfume you were wearing was. He wanted to imprint in his memory what your skin felt like bare against his.

Harry was infatuated in a way he hadn’t been since he was 12 years old! He used to get sick to his stomach with adoration for another person and he felt it now, that everything was stirring up inside of him. He’d always felt things very deeply, but he hadn’t felt something so big in quite a while. It could be overwhelming to feel so much, to be so vulnerable all the time, he’d been hurt so often in his youth due to the heart he so proudly wore on his sleeve. So he learned to toughen up, mastered stoicism, and became the level-headed tycoon he was today. He taught himself discipline, routine, predictability…so that he wouldn’t ever be caught off guard again. But then, there’s always someone who’s just so perfectly honey-sweet that they get through the cracks. And you were exactly that. Even after your first meeting he thought of you often…another pretty picture that lived in the gallery of faces in his brain. But yours always stood out. He did hope he’d see you again, and it seemed that fate was on his side because there you were resting safely, with total trust in his arms…

The stoicism returned the following day because he didn’t want to risk perhaps being a toy in a game between you and Caleb…because if you asked he would be there for you again however you wanted him. He’d be at your beck and call if it’s what you wanted. But even still, you were kind and assured him that he was right, that this couldn’t happen again and that was that.

…ONE WEEK AGO …

Harry had imagined that it would be a while before the impression you’d left on him would fully wear off…that he’d stop fantasizing about you eventually…but here he was, six months later and feeling his irritation swelling as he watched Caleb flirting a bit with Tamika, his intern. Tamika was great. She was the top undergraduate business student at NYU. And yes, Tamika was a beautiful young woman, but he had boundaries unlike some people, and she was also gay. Maybe Cal didn’t know that, or perhaps he didn’t care…after his encounters with Y/N he started to realize just how much of a flirt he was. But as long as people weren’t complaining or Cal wasn’t wreaking havoc amongst his employees there was nothing Harry could really reprimand him about and that kind of pissed him off.

“You’re crazy, Cal!” Tamika laughed as she came up to his office door and opened it up the rest of the way, “Give me just a second and then I’ll leave you guys to it.” She assured him. “Harry, Dr. Dopico’s assistant called, her meetings are running about an hour late. I called Dean Sundaram and he said he’s flexible to what you decide. So do you want me to push your dinner plans or reschedule the meeting with NYU?” She asked him.

“Depends on what Caleb’s here to tell me…” Harry said as he smiled at Cal. He had been working on landing this potentially huge account that would be the thing that pushed him into billionaire status by the end of the year. There was some suspense in the air, but when Caleb started to grin, Harry chuckled knowingly.

“We got it.” Caleb confirmed and Harry was elated. Tamika was screaming, jumping up and down because she had been involved in the investment proposal writing and service planning that was presented to this client. This was huge for her resume and CV for grad school. Harry liked hiring students because he felt it was important for them to really apply what they learned in class, like he had. His dad was a beast in business and now Harry was too and he wanted to give others the same opportunities to learn and grow in a real world setting. But more importantly, being a billionaire would help him to launch forth tons of charitable and educational projects around the globe, like the one he was meeting Dr. Dopico for. He wanted to do more and be able to help more people and now, he could do it at a scale that actually made a difference.They all hugged briefly in celebration of what this meant for each of them.

“I’ll push your dinner reservations and update your talking points for the meeting with Dr. Dopico.” Tamika said before hurrying out of his office.

“Excellent job, Caleb! This is great news.” Harry was beaming despite his internal irritation towards his CFO. And then his smile dropped a bit as he wondered if Caleb would be sharing his big news with you tonight or someone else?

“Man, we all put in our piece. I’m glad we understood the client and them us, that’s what it came down to.” He smiled happily.

“Great work leading the team for this account though…ummm, I know I’m more reserved at work but I think this calls for a celebration with the team that made this possible.” Harry said, as his mind shot back to you. He wanted to see you.

“Oh no Harry, don’t worry about that-”

“No please, I insist! This is huge, I just want to properly thank you all for your dedication. Nothing wild, just a dinner? A nice formal one at my home up in Quogue, we can do it there. Everyone can bring a date and I mean, as you know, I have plenty of guest rooms if anyone gets a little too drunk, there’s room for everyone.” He said and Caleb smiled.

“If you’re really up for it I’m sure the team would really go for it.” Caleb assured.

“Cool. I’ll get something together tonight and send you guys an invitation. Plan for next Saturday, alright?” He said.

“Sounds good, thanks Harry.” Caleb said before heading out.

… PRESENT DAY …

Harry wanted to see you again, that’s why he had planned this dinner. He knew that the chances of Caleb bringing you tonight were next to none, but he just needed to take the shot in the dark because he was losing his mind thinking about you and not knowing. And maybe seeing you on your husband’s arm would be the thing to snap him out of this infatuation he had over you. Harry was a bit nervous as he had just run off for a moment to make a quick phone call to his dad that he’d been putting off for the last hour since he was awaiting Caleb’s arrival. He hoped to God he didn’t miss you making your entrance if Cal did bring you along.

“Yes dad, we have exclusivity. Alright…yes, bye.” Harry mumbled and hung up before shutting off his phone, no more work, he deserved to celebrate tonight.

“Mr. Hargrove has arrived.” Gerard came up to him informing him, like Harry had requested he do earlier.

“Oh, wonderful! Ummm…did he… bring anyone with him?” Harry asked and Gerard nodded, “Anyone you recognized?”

“No, but ummm, sir. He’s…married? He’s brought his wife.” He said and Harry couldn’t even suppress his smile.

“Are you sure?” He asked he asked with a pounding heart.

“Yes. He introduced her as such.” Gerard shrugged.

“Was she the most effortlessly beautiful woman you’d ever seen?” Harry asked, twinkles of adoration were already visible in his eyes.

“I couldn’t say…the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen is my wife.” He said and Harry grinned.

“That’s really good, mate.”

“Thank you, sir.” Gerard smiled timidly.

“Alright, I’ll go say hello.” Harry said and headed back to the large, bright dining room. He tried to be slow about it so that he could spot you first but you weren’t there. But he did see Caleb lingering near the bar, his eyes fixed on something else. He was alone, so he decided to approach him first. “Cal!” He called out to Caleb, who then turned quickly and immediately smiled. “It’s great to see you.” Harry stated with a bright, charismatic smile as he extended his hand to shake Caleb’s.

“Hey, likewise! Thanks for having us over.” He said as he shook Harry’s hand quickly. Harry smiled a bit brighter as he pulled his hand back, he didn’t miss the detail of Caleb thanking him for having “us” over. Maybe you were here.

Harry was about to respond when a bright color in his peripheral vision diverged his attention from Caleb; he turned in it’s direction and he swore that the earth stood still as he saw you descending into the dining area. You were a vision. Your beauty and confidence commanded the attention of the room, he swore everyone grew silent as you looked around with a kind smile on your lips, eyes darting around to find a familiar face. Finally your eyes met his and he was fighting against every instinct that made him want to rush over to you with a smile so wide it hurt.

Harry felt the air being stolen from his lungs at the sight of you in that gorgeous gown and the way it framed your body. You looked sensational and his fingers were itching to get to touch your skin again. He longed to trace all of the spots that were exposed on you with his lips, kissing at you delicately and with reverie. He had no idea how he would be able to not just stare at you all evening long, it would certainly be a challenge. He was already shaking off the sinful thoughts he was having of you as you approached.

“Ah, perfect timing!” Caleb’s voice called him back down to reality, “Harry, this is Y/N, my wife. Sweetheart, this is Harry Styles, CEO of the firm.” Cal introduced you two. You were smiling up at him cooly, but he could see the sparkles in your eyes as they met his own once more. And oh…? Were you using the triangle method on him? Harry couldn’t help but gently bite down on his lip as his eyes glanced down to yours briefly.

“Mr. Styles, it’s wonderful to finally meet you.” You said to him as you extended your hand and he was gentle as he took your hand in his and gave it a shake.

“You as well, Y/N. Call me Harry, I insist.” He said with what he imagined was a polite smile, but to you he looked like a kid who was trying too hard to keep a secret to themselves. You wanted to hug him and it was almost cruel to have to pretend like you didn’t know of each other.

“Alright. Thank you, Harry.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“Can I offer you guys a drink?” He asked and you were the first to nod.

“Please.” You said quietly, but with zeal.

*********

You nearly had a cardiac event when you saw that Harry was already with Caleb when you walked in. You were hoping to at least have something to hang on to prior to interacting with Harry. It excited you that he was so excited to see you, or so it seemed! You were just as thrilled to see him, even just feeling the warmth of his hand in yours made you start to spark up from the inside out. Your throat suddenly felt dry and you needed a drink, so you were quick to accept when he offered to head to the bar.

“What can I get you, Harry?” The man at the bar asked with a smile.

“Just a whisky highball for me-”

“Make it two, please.” You spoke up and he glanced to you with a small smile.

“2 whisky highballs and for you, sir?” He asked Caleb.

“A scotch, neat.”

“Coming right up.” The guy said and turned to start on their drinks.

“Well it’s good to meet some fellow whisky lovers.” Harry said, sparking up some conversation.

“Right! I got lucky with this one! Usually women can’t handle whisky.” Cal added and you saw how Cal’s mildly sexist statement made Harry furrow his brows a bit.

“I don’t think it’s so much a sex thing, it’s just the flavor is definitely one to train your palate for. Everyone struggles with it a bit at first.” Harry said and you nodded in agreement. “I mean, in my experience, women handle their liquor far better than any men I know.” Harry added and you smiled.

“I have to agree with Harry. Don’t see too many women forgetting to be decent human beings after a drink or two.” You said and Harry chuckled, but you could feel Cal’s unamused glance on you for a moment. “Well anyway, your house is gorgeous, by the way. Can’t wait to see it in the daylight.” You complimented and he nodded.

“Oh, so you two plan on staying tonight?” Harry asked with an arch in his eyebrows, his eyes quickly finding yours until Cal spoke up.

“Yeah, we’re staying. I want to let loose tonight and I do not trust her driving my Quattroporte.” Cal chuckled and you let out a fake chuckle, but Harry didn’t miss as you rolled your eyes.

“Well I hope you’ll enjoy the stay. I mean, if you’re early risers, the sunrise is definitely something you don’t want to miss.” Harry said, his eyes meeting yours briefly.

“Here is the scotch neat.” The bartender said and when Caleb leaned forward to grab his drink you and Harry smiled at each other briefly, “And the two whisky highballs.” He added, causing you both to turn and also reach for your drinks. You all took a moment to try your drinks and you hummed.

“This is excellent. Thank you so much.” You complimented the bar tender.

“Thank you, enjoy.” He said before turning around to clean his area a bit.

“Well, now I know who to invite to the whisky bars.” Harry said with a charming smile and Cal chuckled.

“Definitely! We do know some pretty great ones in the city, don’t we sweetheart?” He turned to you and you nodded.

“Yeah. Haven’t been in a while but I’m sure they’re still stand up places.” You assured.

“What do you mean? We just went right around easter!” Cal looked at you incredulously and you knew that wasn’t true because he hadn’t been around consistently until the summer.

“Maybe you’ve gone with someone else more recently.” You said to him and his eyebrows furrowed, “A client or a friend perhaps, we haven’t gone there together since…at least a year ago.” You pointed out and he frowned a bit.

“Oh, you’re right…yeah, I think I went with someone else. Sorry, sweets.” He said and you smiled and shook your head.

“S’alright. You deal with lots of people so the outings blur together, I’m sure.” You assured him and he chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah. Ummm, I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, can you hold this for me?” Caleb asked you and you nodded.

“Sure.”

“When I’m back I’ll introduce you to everyone else.” He assured before he excused himself to you and Harry and then hurried off. As soon as he was gone you put down Cal’s drink on the bar top as you felt the tension between you and Harry becoming palpable. You turned around to say something to him when another woman walked up to both of you.

“Excuse me, Harry?” She said and he turned his attention to the young woman who had walked up.

“Hey, Tamika! Glad you could make it!” He greeted her happily with a hug. She then proceeded to introduce her girlfriend, Giselle to Harry as well.

“This place is incredible, thank you so much for inviting us.” Giselle said and he nodded with a smile.

“Of course, happy to have you guys here! Ummm, let me also introduce you guys to Y/N, Cal is her husband.” He said and Tamika’s eyes widened.

“Oh wow! I didn’t know Cal had gotten married. Congratulations! I’m Tamika, this is my girlfriend, Giselle.” She greeted and you smiled.

“Oh yeah, thanks! Nice to meet you Tamika and Giselle.” You said, extending a hand to one and then the other.

“Tamika is my intern/assistant. She’s the top business student at NYU and she’s just finishing up her undergrad.” Harry bragged and you smiled.

“Oh wow, congrats! Are you thinking about grad school?” You asked Tamika, who nodded.

“Yeah! Applications are due soon and I’m just trying to narrow down my options.” She explained to you.

“You know Y/N, Tamika is interested in USC…” Harry mentioned to you with a small, suggestive grin and your eyebrows arched up.

“Are you really?” You asked as you turned back to her and she nodded.

“Yeah, but it’s so competitive so I’m keeping my options open.” She explained.

“Well I ummm, I actually went to Marshall for my MS degrees. So I have connections, I still keep in touch with a lot of the faculty there. I can certainly put in a good word for you if you decide to apply.”

“Wait. Are you serious?” She asked with shock in her eyes and Giselle was just as shocked.

“Completely serious! I mean, if Harry’s working with you I’m sure it shows a lot of promise and potential. USC would be lucky to have you.” You said with a smile.

“Yes, she’ll take any help you can give her. I’m going there so please anything to help us reunite!” Giselle cut in and you all chuckled.

“I’ll give you one of my business cards before you leave, that way you can reach out to me when you apply. I’m sure I can set up a little meet and greet with someone on the admissions board.” You said to her.

“Wow, yes I would love that. Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, of course. What about you Giselle?” You asked her and then she went on to explain that she was actually also going to USC but to the Thornton School of Music, it was her first semester. This gave them all something more to talk about before Cal returned. Caleb seemed to have good rapport with Tamika, which aided in allowing you and Harry to continue stealing glances of each other as they spoke.

But soon enough Caleb was excusing you both from Harry’s side and taking you around introducing you to a few others. He wasn’t really flaunting you like he said he wanted to though, something was off with him. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but he seemed distracted even, leaving you to do most of the talking to his coworkers while he just darted his eyes around the room. It was hard to focus on the people you were meeting when you could feel Harry’s gaze burning into you from across the room. It was making it hard to focus on the people who kept asking you questions about yourself and trying to hide their surprise as Caleb introduced you as his wife. Obviously, you knew about Cal omitting this information from Harry and from Gerard earlier, but it was getting to you the more it happened.

“Hey Cal, nice to see you!”

“Hey Amir! Likewise.” He said shaking the man’s hand.

“Thanks. This is my son, Louay. He is interested in business so I brought him along to show him how we reap the rewards of it.” He chuckled, smiling at the young man with pride. “And who’s this lovely lady on your arm?” Amir asked and Cal turned to you for a moment.

“Uh, this is my wife, Y/N.” He said and you politely extended your hand out to him. But Amir’s eyes rounded out as his eyebrows arched up in surprise.

“Oh wow! I had no idea you were married!” He said with a bright smile and shook your hand. You felt Cal’s wary gaze on you but just continued smiling at Amir as you greeted him and then his son. But Cal knew you well enough to notice the anger and frustration that were radiating off of you. You made some small talk with Amir and Louay and were interrupted by one of the staff announcing that dinner was about to be served. You glanced towards the table and your eyes met Harry’s who quickly glanced at the seats nearest to where you were before looking back at you. He wanted to sit beside you…but how? Unless you or him sat in the middle…which just wasn’t going to work.

“Cal, project leader, come here man.” Harry called and Cal grabbed your hand and pulled you along. You bit your lip as you thought of something and then slipped your hand out of his and he turned around and your eyes met.

“What’s the matter?” He asked and you gave him a look of irritation.

“Why’re your coworkers so shocked to meet me, Cal?” He sighed.

“Not now, Y/N.” He said lowly, pleading eyes on yours as you crossed your arms stubbornly.

“I don’t want to sit beside you.” You said and he sighed.

“Fine.” He accepted before he turned around to walk the few feet to the table, but you sped ahead of him.

“You can sit beside him, Harry.” You said and then took a seat beside a woman named Andrea. She’d been a bit shy, but you felt better knowing Harry was beside you and Tamika was settling in across from you. As soon as he scooted his chair in you felt his thigh brushing up against yours; it was a tight fit around the table, so you were all a bit close. Your lips twitched up in a smile when he glanced at you quickly. He spread his legs further and you nudged at him a bit, trying to keep a straight face. Caleb was distracted talking to the person on his left and so Harry reached off to the side, as if he was going to grab his chair, but then you felt his fingers just graze the outside of your thigh. The slit on your dress leaving your skin exposed and available for him to touch. You let out a breathy giggle and his lips twitched up in a small grin. When you glanced up at him through your lashes he bit his lip for a second.

“I wish I could have you as my main course.” He whispered with a smirk and then placed his hands back on the tabletop. Your body tingled as a chill passed through you, you wished that you could touch him at the very least. Every now and again your thighs would brush, but he was mostly talking to Caleb and you were just focused on your food because if you looked at Harry you would end up doing something stupid in front of all these people.

When the first course was brought in you smiled excitedly at just how beautiful and delicious the starter looked. It was a miso citrus salad, your mouth watered at the fresh scent emanating from the dish. And then you felt a gaze on you and you quickly looked up and your eyes met with the girl sitting at Tamika’s left, as soon as your eyes met her gaze flitted off to something else. Over and over it was happening, you kept making awkward eye contact with her. Finally you got the chance to look at her while something else had her attention; you wanted to see if maybe you knew each other from somewhere. you observed the slightly pained look in her eyes and the small frown on her lips. So you followed her line of sight and stopped at Harry, but he was leaned down eating his food. And when you leaned back a bit and saw Cal mirroring this woman’s expression the realization hit you like a ton of bricks. That was her! His mistress. Suddenly you lost your grip on your fork and it clanked against the porcelain plate loudly several times, causing everyone to look at you. You blinked a few times and forced a smile.

“Sorry, butter fingers.” You excused and everyone chuckled before they resumed their previous actions. You look down at your plate of food and suddenly felt disgusted by the fish and vegetables that had been unbelievably appetizing just moments before. Harry cleared his throat and you turned to him.

“Are you alright?” He asked lowly

“I ummm…I think so. I just…” you started and then just shook your head, “Never mind.” You smiled and forced yourself to have a bit more food. Thankfully, there was a nice break between the main course and dessert and so you took that time to go to the room and grab a business card for Tamika from your purse. You were just putting your wallet away when you heard the bedroom door open. You had hoped it was Harry, but when you heard the door click shut behind you quietly you knew it was Caleb.

“Are you upset at me?” His voice was soft and had a hint of caution to it.

“You’ve been seeing someone else and she’s here tonight, isn’t she?” You said instead as you turned around, hands on your hips. You just wanted to know how much there was to it. You were ready to face this right now.

“Y/N-”

“She’s the only person you haven’t introduced me to, but she keeps looking at me from across the table and I saw how you two looked at each other-”

“She didn’t know I was married.” He said immediately and a sardonic smile came onto your lips.

“No one did! Apparently.” You said with irritation as you threw your hands up in irritation and he came closer to you.

“Look, we can be rational about this-”

“I think I’m responding pretty rationally to this situation, Caleb. Everyone thinks we’re fucking newly weds when I’ve given almost a decade of my life to you! We’ve been married seven years and you’ve been hiding it from people for three years?! Do you have any idea how this makes me feel? Why did you even ask me come tonight?” You questioned him and his lips dropped into a small frown.

Maybe you didn’t love him like before, but having to hear over and over that no one knew about you was embarrassing and it was shaking your confidence to some extent. Why had he hidden your marriage so vehemently from everyone? Was it really just to be able to fuck around or was he ashamed of you for some reason? The not knowing was clawing at you horribly.

“I’m sorry. I just like to keep my personal life as separate as possible from my work and-”

“OK, that’s complete bullshit! Why would you do something as personal as fucking a coworker if you wanted to keep the personal and professional separate?” You challenged his rationale and he ran his hand down his face, a physical sign of his stress weighing him down.

“Y/N, I don’t think this is the time and place to talk about this.” He said cooly.

“Then I’d like to leave so we can discuss this at home.” You said with finality.

“I don’t want to go yet, Y/N. And I know I’m in no position to ask this of you, but I’d like to get my thoughts together before we talk about this. It’s…it’s a lot.” He said and you rolled your lips together as you felt your eyes starting to well up a bit as your simmering anger started to reach its boiling point.

“Fine.” You said softly and just walked past him and out of the bedroom.

You closed the door behind you and just took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly to calm down. You hated so much that you cried when you were angry, but the emotion was just not one you felt often enough to know how to deal with it properly. You squeezed your eyes shut for a second to will the frustration away, but you were absolutely humiliated. It was believable and even excusable for Harry not to have known Cal was married. One typically does not to talk about their personal business with their boss, but to blatantly lie to everyone else he worked with and communicated with day to day? That was something else. Once you were calm enough you made your way back to the dining area. As soon as you sat down you felt the woman from across the table looking at you. You just glanced up to her, catching her gaze for a few seconds and she went beet red before looking away.

You could only imagine how she felt having to see you there. He lied to her too and by the looks of it, she hadn’t taken it well. Suddenly everything started falling into place…the reason for why two months ago out of the blue Cal was home more and loving on you even more and spending time with you…something had happened between them and ruined the relationship, if he had been with her this entire time. He could’ve been with multiple people to your knowledge.

“Is everything alright?” Harry’s voice pulled you from your thoughts and you turned your head to him and shook your head.

“Is there another room I can stay in tonight? Or even just a motel or something nearby? I don’t want to be here anymore, Harry. I need to be as far away from Cal as possible.” You said softly and he frowned.

“Uh yeah, there are bedrooms upstairs as well. But I can find out about a motel nearby if you’d prefer that.” He offered. You saw Cal returning to the room from your peripherals.

“I’ll let you know.” You said before you turned back to the table and grabbed your cocktail and drank the remainder in one go.

Shortly after, dessert was being placed before you all. It was a gorgeous tiramisu, one of your favorites, but you only picked at it for a bit, not really in the mood to eat or to chat with anyone any more. Harry would’ve probably talked to you, but Cal was engaged in a never-ending conversation with Harry so that he could constantly keep an eye on you; you could feel Cal’s scrutinous gaze on you. You just felt like the odd one out and you wanted this night to be over.

Even when you all migrated to a lounge room to chat you noticed that he had tried and failed several times to approach this other woman. After about the third attempt Cal just started ordering drinks with reckless abandon and eventually headed off with a couple others to the billiard room, or at least that’s what you heard from their loud and drunken conversation. Harry was busy bidding farewell to those who were heading home for the night. It looked like Tamika was getting ready to go and you’d been meaning to chat with her again, but the woman from across the table had been with her the whole time. But as of now, she was nowhere to be found so you approached Tamika and Giselle before she returned from wherever she had gone to.

“Are you guys heading off as well?” You asked the two.

“Yeah. I’ve got a big exam on Monday that I need to study for tomorrow.” Tamika explained.

“Oh OK, best of luck! Ummm here’s my card though. If you decide to apply to Marshall let me know and like I said earlier, I’d be happy to help you network with the recruiters and faculty.” You reaffirmed.

“That’s just really kind of you, Y/N. Thank you so much. If there’s anything I can do to repay you for this-”

“Oh my gosh, no Tamika! If you decide to go there just keep doing your very best, that’s all.” You said, “Of course if only to make me look good…” You joked with a giggle, despite your low mood, and Tamika and Giselle laughed along with you.

“You’re too sweet. I hope Cal brings you around more!” She said and you just nodded and smiled, “If he doesn’t I’ll badger him about it.” She added with a playfully menacing tone and you just chuckled.

“You guys are all great, I’m glad I was able to come along tonight.” You said genuinely. You were about to ask them how far their drive was when Tamika lit up a bit.

“Dani!” Tamika called out as she looked past you and waved at the person she was calling over. You turned around and saw that, that was the woman from across the table and she looked petrified, “Come here!” Tamika insisted and you swallowed thickly as she made her way over. Her eyes darted around the room, probably trying to find Caleb, but he was drunk and playing pool in another room of the house. When she was finally within reach, Tamika dragged her into her side, “Dani, this is Y/N. She’s Caleb’s wife!” She informed her excitedly and you saw in real time how Dani’s face started to pale as she swallowed thickly, which could only mean one thing. You looked around, trying to act quickly before she puked all over you, her friends, and herself. Finally, you saw a garbage can near the entrance of the room and just grabbed her hand and dragged her over to it. You had just put it in her hands when she started to throw up. You looked away, starting to feel disgusted at the sounds of her heaving and Tamika and Giselle rushed over to her.

“Wow, good save.” Giselle said to you and you just nodded as you turned to Giselle with a relieved expression.

“Yeah, I’d know that look anywhere.” You said as Tamika rubbed over her friend’s back as she just spat the taste out of her mouth. Dani’s tearful eyes met yours and you just offered her a sympathetic smile. Poor woman.

“Thank you.” She rasped out and you nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” You assured her. Just then Harry walked in and his eyes widened a bit upon seeing you four huddled up at the entrance of the room.

“Harry, have you got some mouth wash and pepto or something for Dani? She got sick to her stomach.” Tamika explained to him and he nodded.

“Yeah, of course! Follow me.” He said and they went off with him, trash can and all.

“If her boyfriend comes back can you tell him we’ll meet him in the foyer?” Giselle asked you and you nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” You said with a smile and a nod.

“Thank you. And it was so nice to meet you, thank you for being so kind.” Giselle said as she hugged you briefly.

“It’s no problem at all! Drive safe.” You said and she thanked you as she hurried off to catch up with Tamika. It was just moments later when the man who had been sitting beside the person you now knew as Dani, came into the room and glanced around. “You’re Dani’s boyfriend?” You asked him and he nodded. “She had something to take care of with Harry and Tamika, they told me to tell you that they will meet you in the foyer.”

“Oh, cool. Thanks.” He smiled before hurrying out of the room.

There were just a few more people in the room you were in, but they were laughing and chatting amongst themselves, so you were once again the odd one out. You decided to head off to the bedroom you’d been given and just get the toiletries you had unpacked back into your bag so that you could be ready to relocate. A few light knocks on the door caught your attention and you hurried over to open it. You saw Gerard standing there with a polite smile.

“Good evening, Miss. Mr. Styles informed me that you wanted to change your sleeping arrangements?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes, please.” You said and he nodded.

“Certainly. He mentioned that you wanted a bit of space. I can offer you a bedroom upstairs? I called the motels in town and they are all booked out unfortunately.” He explained.

“Upstairs is just fine.” You assured him with a smile, “Thank you, Gerard.”

“Not a problem. Can I take your bag for you?”

“Oh no, it’s alright. Just show me where to go.”

“No Miss, I insist.” He said and you smiled at him as you grabbed your overnight bag and handed it to him and he smiled, “Wonderful, follow me.” He said and you followed him through the house. You could hear the absurd commotion from the billiard room and just rolled your eyes as you followed Gerard upstairs. The lights on the sconces were dimmed, but you could still see how beautiful everything was. “I’m going to give you the room that Mr. and Mrs. Styles stay in when they visit from England.” He informed you, “You’ll have a balcony and a lovely view of the water from it.”

“Oh wow, thank you. I hear the sunrises are to die for.” You hummed.

“They certainly are captivating.” He agreed with you. He opened up the door when you finally arrived and he switched on the lights. Your eyes widened at the beautiful, modern set up of the room. You swore you had seen this room on Pinterest or something. A king sized bed, all to yourself? Yes, please. You thought as you smiled.

“This is amazing.” You said as you looked around. Gerard had just set your bag down on the little bench in front of the bed.

“I’m glad it’s to your satisfaction. Now the lights can be controlled with this remote.” He explained, showing it to you and then placing it back down on the bench. “And your bathroom is through there.” He said pointing to a door in the far right of the bedroom, “There’s a small cabinet by the shower that contains extra towels and washcloths, you can just leave them in the hamper if you use anything. The closet is in there as well. And the balcony is just through those doors.” He said pointing to the double glass doors that were partially covered by some long, floor length curtains.

“Perfect, thank you.”

“My pleasure. And, I am sorry if I contributed to any unpleasantness between you and Mr. Hargrove. I had no intent to stir up-”

“Oh my god, no.” you pouted at him in endearment, “Don’t feel bad about a thing, Gerard. Frankly it’s…been a long time coming. It wasn’t because of you.” You assured him, “I appreciate your help tonight.” You smiled at him.

“Is there anything else I can do for you before I head out for the night?” He asked.

“Can you just thank Harry for me? Just for, indulging me.” You said with a small smile.

“Certainly.” He nodded.

“Thank you, again for all your help. Good night.” You smiled at him.

“Good night, Miss.” he said before hurrying out of the room.

Once you were alone you dimmed down the bedroom lights before drawing the heavy curtains and slipping out onto the balcony. You shivered for a few seconds as you adjusted to the slightly cooler temperature outside as you leaned against the railing of the balcony. The lack of light from the bedroom helped you see the starry sky even better. And you sighed in relief as you could hear the waves crashing into the shore not too far off in the distance. The peace and silence in your brain lasted for just a few minutes.

You just couldn’t stop thinking about Dani now…how she literally threw up at the sight of you. She probably felt awful and guilty and you wished you could just tell her that you weren’t angry at her. That you didn’t blame her. She had been deceived just as much as you had. What was frustrating for you was that you were completely in the dark about Cal. You thought you knew the man you were married to, but evidently that wasn’t the case. It didn’t even matter what you lost at this point, there was no way of moving past something like this. Your marriage was through…both of you had cheated now, so what was the point?

The sound of a door closing startled you and you whipped around quickly and saw Harry leaning back on the bedroom door. He offered you a timid smile as he started to walk across the space, but it was contagious to see his smile widening the closer he came. He met you out on the balcony and as soon as he was before you he sighed in relief and grabbed your hands.

“You look absolutely divine. You’re exquisite. Literal perfection.” He hummed softly, “Been dying to tell you all night.” He complimented you. His voice was soft as he spoke to you and you smiled at him coyly.

“Thank you.” Was all you could say as every other thought in your head vanished as you stood before him. Finally.

“Want to talk about what happened?” He asked you.

“I probably should.” You said and he smiled.

“I’ll listen if you want me to.” He assured you and you sighed.

“So obviously no one knew Cal was married and like…I don’t know, it got to me. Like I just feel humiliated a bit. Like…I don’t know if he did it on purpose to just, push me over the edge? But like, how did he expect people to react? And I think…well, I know now actually, that he’s been sleeping with some woman named Dani.” Harry looked surprised, “I don’t know for how long or if there’s more. She’d been avoiding me all night and Tamika introduced us and she just…got sick. I mean, she obviously didn’t know he was married and god, she probably feels like the worst person, you know?” You said with a frown. “Like how could he do that to someone? Poor woman.” You shook your head.

“So you’re upset that the other woman is feeling guilty.” He asked with a small smile and you shrugged.

“I know how insane that makes me sound but like…she didn’t know about me. That’s not fair to her. And like, I’ve at least known for a bit and have made peace with it…but who knows how she found out that she was the other woman. From the way he’s been acting I’d say it wasn’t good.”

“So what now?” Harry asked. You knew that his question was a lot more complex than how he posed it. There were subliminal implications that were being addressed without him having to ask them directly and it made you feel just a little bit better about all of this. He still cared. Whether his interest in you was platonic, solely carnal, or even romantic, he was asking because he wanted to know what this could mean for you two.

“Cal said he wants to talk about it after he gathers his thoughts because “it’s a lot”, or something like that.” You responded as you turned back to the vast darkness ahead of you.

“Do you think he wants to end it?” Harry asked cautiously.

“I have no idea, but I want to end it.” You said with certainty and well, Harry had no business feeling happy about that (selfishly, of course) but he remained composed with a slight furrow in his brow as he listened to you, “I mean, what’s the point of this sham of a marriage?” You asked through a sardonic laugh. “He’s been unfaithful for who knows how long, I’ve stopped letting myself love him and have also…committed adultery. Thank you very much for that, by the way.” You added with a teasing grin and a side glance, he smirked in response.

“Happy to be of service. By the way.” He replied haughtily and you both laughed softly. “So you…you want a divorce?” He asked to clarify and you nodded.

“I first thought about it after we spent the night together.” You shared, “I just…realized how much of my own heart had been out of it to like…go through with what we did and not feel remorse or anything close to it. But then he started trying again and so I took that card off of the table. But now that I’ve learned he’s been lying to everyone and living a double life I feel like I’m married to a stranger. Like who was I kidding? This has been over for a long time. So stupid…” You sighed in disappointment.

“You’re not stupid. A marriage is a huge commitment. Of course you’re going to try if you see him trying. But hey, now you’ve seen all the facets of the situation and you’ve made a choice for yourself, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You responded softly.

“Are you…are you alright?”

“Yeah, I think so. Just…letting the reality of it all sink in.” You said before exhaling. The exhale felt cathartic, like all your troubles would be gone soon just like that little puff of air released from your lungs. The silence between you two was nice, only the sounds of the waves on the shore were detectable and it was perfect.

“Can I…hold you?” He asked, breaking the silence and you nodded up at him and he turned and stepped closer as he opened up his arms and you stepped into his embrace. You inhaled deeply as your head rested against his shoulder and his arms squeezed tight around your body, “What can I do to make you feel better?” He asked and you smiled.

“This.” You assured and he smiled, “This is perfect. I needed a hug after this shit show of a night.” You hummed and he smiled as he let his cheek rest atop of your head. A comfortable silence settled over you both before you spoke up.

“I’m sorry it sucked so much for you, but it was kind of perfect for me.” He shared and you smiled, “I threw this party just…hoping Cal would bring you along. It was a fucking long shot but he did!” he chuckled and you did as well, “And now you’re here and I couldn’t be more pleased.” He said happily. You could hear the smile in his voice.

“I didn’t know you were throwing the party until we were about to arrive.” You confessed and he chuckled, “He had said it was with a few work friends, so I had accepted because I was just excited to meet some people Cal worked with. He told me to look sexy so he could "show me off”. When I found out about this being your party I was scared that you’d think I was just trying to seduce you by showing up like this.” You said and he chuckled.

“I know we don’t know each other that well, but I know that’s not how you are.” He said and you smiled.

“Yeah, definitely not.” You assured.

“You do look sensational though, you definitely met the mark.” He said and you chuckled a bit before you both just settled into the comfortable silence. He felt like a friend you’d known for ages. He was a person who you could be your authentic self around. It was rare to feel so safe with someone.

“Harry…do you think there’s any left over tiramisu?” You asked randomly, “S’my favorite dessert but I couldn’t really stomach mine when they served it.” You explained and you felt his body shake a bit as he chuckled.

“S’my favorite too so I know they made extra if only for me to take it home.” He responded, the smile he was wearing made evident by the tone of his voice. “Wanna get changed or get down there like this?” He asked.

“I think change first. Don’t want to risk getting the dress dirty…knowing me, I eat like a child.” You said and he chuckled as he gave you a bit harder of a squeeze before he started to let go.

“Alright then. I’ll change as well and ummm, I’ll come by and get you, yeah?”

“OK.” You smiled. You walked back in with him and left him at the bedroom door before he was off down the hall. You watched him until he turned around and gave you a final smile as he disappeared behind the last door down the hall.

You proceeded to slip back into your own room and got your pajamas out of your bag. You also decided to get your makeup off while you were at it and were just toning your face when there were a few knocks on the door. You hurried over and opened it up to let him in.

“Just need to get my moisturizer on and then we can go.” You said and he nodded and followed you inside. He busied himself with closing up the balcony and just waiting for you at the foot of the bed. “Ready.” You said as you came out of the bathroom and he smiled and started guiding you down stairs. Upon making it down you guys could hear the muffled sounds of the others who had stayed in the billiard room. It was nearing 1am and they were drunk, so hopefully they passed out quickly. Harry guided you down a dark hallway before he pushed open a swinging door and switched on the lights. You had to blink a few times to adjust your vision, but then he switched on a warmer pair before getting the fluorescent ones off.

“God, I forget how bright these are.” He whinged and you giggled.

“This is like a proper restaurant kitchen.” You hummed as you looked around.

“Yeah, I usually use this home for holidays. Obviously, we don’t want to do the cooking then so we hire a chef for when we stay here. Or we do a lot of parties here as well, so again, it’s just convenient for how it’s used.” He explained as he headed over to the refrigerator and then he turned around quickly, “By “we” I mean my parents and other family.” He clarified and you chuckled.

“I figured. Gerard mentioned something to me about how the room he gave me is your parents’ favorite room to stay in or something?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and then looked through it to find the extra serving of the cake and he finally did and pulled it out. “Here we are.” He said and put it down on the counter before grabbing some forks, “Are we being civilized or eating from the container?” He inquired.

“Whatever you think is best. But be warned that I might feel like I need to eat it all if we have it in the container.” You joked and he chuckled.

“Plates it is…” he played along and you giggled as he just grabbed one from a nearby cabinet, “We can share.” He said as he came back over and you sighed as he started digging into the surface of the cake to break off a piece for you two.

“Fine…” you accepted dramatically and he smirked. Without even asking he just stopped and pulled his fork further back to make the slice larger, which caused you to laugh softly. “I was joking.” You clarified and his eyes drew away from his task and met yours knowingly.

“No you weren’t.” He said with a grin and you just laughed. Once he got that done he put the container back in the fridge and when he turned he found you already digging your fork into the cake. “Didn’t even have the decency to wait?” He scoffed jokingly and you grinned.

“It looks incredible.”

“Yet you wasted a perfectly good slice at dinner…” he quipped back and you groaned and tossed your head back dramatically.

“I’m sorry!” You croaked out and he laughed and instinctually reached his arm out to wrap it around you and pull you into him. You went with him easily and when you glanced up at him he was smiling down at you.

“It’s alright, I forgive you.” He said softly and your lips curled up in an easy smile.

“There’s like…a vibe between us right? Like I’m not delusional, right?” You asked and you saw him flush a bit but he nodded.

“Yeah, definitely.” He said and you giggled.

“To there being a vibe with us or that I’m delusional?” You asked and his smile widened as he realized what he’d said and he chuckled, his eyes darted away from yours briefly out of the nerves he felt tickling through his body. Then there they were again, those gorgeous green eyes meeting yours again. They were so vibrant despite his widened pupils, a tell tale sign of his attraction. You wondered how big your pupils were right now.

“The vibe.” He clarified meekly and you hummed.

“I don’t know, but it just feels like I’ve known you for a really long time. It’s really nice.” You said with a simple shrug.

“Maybe we’ve met in other lives.” He said quietly.

“That’d be pretty cool actually.” You responded with a pensive look on your face. “Am I allowed to kiss you?” You asked him and he instantly bit his lip as he nodded and started to lean down. You started to press up on your toes to meet him halfway. It felt extraordinary to feels his smooth, warm lips pressing into yours gently.

And when you pulled back the smack of your lips felt like it echoed and your eyes blinked open and then his did as well. This hungry look was exchanged between you, practically forcing you to kiss again. And again, and again, and again in quick little pecks. After the next one he just groaned and smeared his mouth against yours sloppily before pushing his tongue into your mouth. You moaned at the intensity at which he came into it. Your skin was littered in goosebumps and a delicious tingle shot down your spine to your toes and then flew back up to your core. You sighed in pleasant surprise as your pussy’s muscles tightened up and fluttered around absolutely nothing at all in response to his hands sliding up under your flowy pajama shirt, sliding up your back and then scratching down it with a bit of force.

Your hands fisted at his shirt almost as if the action tethered you to reality. You loved the place your mind went to when you were around him. Again, a feeling of safety came to mind and you kissed him back harder and reached for his arms and pushed them down to feel your bottom. As soon as he got there he took over, feeling groping, squeezing your butt like he’d wanted to all night. He also wanted to kiss that little sliver of your lower back that was peeking out of the cutout on the dress you wore.

“Can I pick you up?” He mumbled and you nodded before huffing out a yes. He reached down to your thighs and picked you up before placing you on the counter. His hands were on your face holding you still as he licked into you slowly, savoring your taste just in case your paths didn’t cross for a while again. “Can I go down on you?” His deep voice rasped out, lips smearing against yours as he spoke into the kiss. Your widening smile interrupted your kiss, “What?”

“I’m just…so happy to hear you ask that. Been getting off to the memory of how fucking good you are at that. I came so many times I think I saw God.” You laughed softly and he grinned.

“Like that you think of me when you play with yourself. I do too.” He confessed. “One time I even…said your name when I was with someone else.” He said and you winced.

“Ouch…how’d they take it?”

“Not too good.” He chuckled, “When we slept together…it was way too good.” He said with a reminiscent grin.

“Yeah, like oddly perfect!”

“Right. Like you were made for me. We fit so well.” He said as one of his hands came off your face and rubbed over the crotch of your shorts quickly. You sighed and parted your legs further, giving him more access to your achingly needy pussy. “Do you have underwear on?” He asked and you shook your head. He smiled and slid his fingers into your shorts through the leg opening. He rubbed over your sticky and swollen crease before wedging his fingers into it and swirling around your clit in slow and steady circles. You exhaled slowly in satisfaction, grinding your hips against him, getting yourself even more wet for him, he loved hearing it almost as much as feeling it, “God you’re so fucking wet for me.” He smiled and you hummed.

“Mhmm…Ready for a taste?” You asked and he nodded, “Go on then.” You encouraged him and he kissed you once more before dragging your shorts down by the elastic band. You lifted your hips up to help him out and he just dropped them on the ground as he crouched down and spread you open wider before delving in without a second to waste. You moaned in satisfaction as his thick, warm tongue lapped over your sensitive clit, catching just at the top of your opening every time he licked up. Your toes curled and your fingers dug in his hair as the edge of your orgasm caught you by surprise, hitting you almost as quickly as a strike of lightening. “Oh fuck, don’t stop! Don’t stop! I’m going to…I’m going to come!” You gasped out as you pushed his head closer, you were desperate and impressed by just how quickly your yearning for him caused your undoing. Harry sped up his licks and after one, two, and three accurate and precise licks right to your throbbing little clit your thighs started to tremble and your breathing to hitch a few times before you just moaned out his name. He moaned into you, staying true to his mission as you ground your pussy against his face, drawing your orgasm out, shivering as he kept licking at your clit like that until you felt like you were on fire. You stopped breathing for several moments, the feeling stunning your existence into a pause. Harry’s breathy chuckles against you interrupted the pleasure.

“Breathe, baby.” He reminded and your inhaled sharply.

“Fuck keep going!” You demanded, he didn’t hesitate before delving back in, this time sucking at your clit until you were trembling again, moaning in ecstasy as that double orgasm swept you into an orgasmic oblivion. Your ears rung and your brows furrowed as those magnificent and addicting feelings coursed through every inch of your body. “Thank you! Fuck that’s so fucking good…” you praised and he hummed against you, making your tummy flutter as he started to reduce the intensity of his mouth on you as your orgasm started to dwindle. You swore there were little shocks randomly nipping at your legs and you started to massage his scalp after the hard grip you had on his silky hair. He kissed your clit before kissing your left thigh and pushing himself up to attach your lips together. You loved the taste of yourself on his tongue, it was erotic and made you feel so proud of yourself. “Mmm…wanna feel you inside me.” You mumbled and he sighed.

“Should we go upstairs? I don’t have a condom on me.” He muttered against your cheek before kissing you there.

“S’okay. Want it just like this, just you and me.” You said softly, your eyes flickered up to his so that he could clearly see your intent.

“Don’t tempt me like that, baby.” He shook his head with a devilish grin twitching his lips up to the left.

“M’serious! I got an IUD after I found out that Cal was cheating.” You shared and his eyebrows arched up.

“Oh…I mean, if you really want to. I don’t mind either way.” He assured you.

“I want it. Like really, really badly.” You grinned and he smiled.

“OK.” He stated decidedly. His lips pressed to yours once more and you started to tug at his shirt. He reared back to strip it from his body and he dropped it to the ground before reaching for the hem of yours. You raised your arms to aid him as he undressed you. He smiled and his hands went right to your breasts. He gave them a firm squeeze and you chuckled as he groaned in excitement. “Sorry, I just fucking love your body. Been dying to touch you again.” He breathed out and you smiled. His hands then slid down to your hips as you reached for his sweats. You needed him now.

You tugged at the white ties that were fastening the bottoms to him more snuggly. Once they were untied you tugged down on them until they just dropped down his legs on their own. Your mouth watered as his thick cock fell forward, bouncing a few times from how heavy he was. You immediately brought your hand up and spit into it before wrapping it around his tip, playing with it as he moaned in pleasure. You stroked up and dragged his foreskin to the tip before stroking down and sliding it back away from his thick and leaking head. He filled you up so fucking good, it was too good to be true…

“Please fuck me, Harry.” You begged, inciting an absolutely feral response in him and he nodded before he pulled you back down to the ground, turned your around, and guided his tip to your entrance. He rubbed through your sopping folds, enjoying just how aroused you got for him, he pressed himself against your entrance and you moaned in anticipation of being stretched open around his enviable girth. Your eyes were screwed shut as you waited for him to push in. He started to surge forward, opening your little hole up with his ragingly stiff cock. Once he got about halfway he reached into your hair with one hand and grabbed you tight at your hip with the other as he plunged the rest of the way in hard. You both moaned, shrouded in ecstasy at the feeling of him being inside of you again. You’d both been waiting, dreaming, longing to be connected this way again. He pushed you down into the counter to properly bend you over and you gasped as your bare chest was smooshed into the tiramisu, the ceramic plate scraped against the counter from the collision.

“The cake!” You laughed quietly and he chuckled, but proceeded with thrusting into you and started increasing his pace.

“Fuck you feel so good!” He hummed in delight, relishing in the feeling of your slick walls creating a feeling of suction and pressure around his pulsating erection. He’d been dreaming of having you again and this felt better than the last time because now he knew that you wanted him just as badly. He shifted a bit and then grinned as he heard you gasp when he plunged right against your spot; he couldn’t forget that. He loved just how easily you’d fall apart in pleasure when you were stimulated there.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed as he started to quickly thrust into it, making your legs feel like jello. You reached down and found your clit and you started to rub, making your eyes rolled back as a satisfied smile curled onto your lips. Your fingers were a blur as you rubbed tight little circles against your clit and your tummy started to clench up and then inevitably your inner muscles and walls started to contract around Harry’s cock. He choked out a moan and squeezed your hips hard as he started to thrust harder, you were seeing stars now, “I’m about to come!” You warned and he groaned.

“Come on then, baby. Cream all over my big cock. Show me how fucking good we are together.” He grunted markedly and you moaned a bit too loudly but neither of you had a single fuck to give as his filthy talk pushed you over the edge. You smiled and dropped your head back against his shoulder as you started to come undone. He held you up as your legs became all wobbly beneath you with the aftershocks of your orgasm. He wasn’t slowing down just yet though, his thrusts were getting harder and more erratic; you were impressed by the strength he had. “I’m so fucking close…shit!” He hissed and you tightened up despite your sensitivity and he moaned deeply, “Fuck…I’m right there, baby!”

“Come inside me.” You suddenly requested and he groaned, “Please, Harry.” You keened and he swore he was imagining it.

“Yeah? Want me to finish inside your delicious little pussy?” He panted and you nodded.

“Please. Want it all inside! Need to feel you coming inside.” You begged and he panted heavily.

“Fuck, I’m…oh fuck, I’m coming!” He mumbled quickly before surging his hips forward and then tugging your hips back against him. He ground his cock into you as you felt him twitching with each rope of come he was unloading deep inside of you. Harry swore he was about to lose consciousness from how hard his orgasm hit him. He felt his knees trembling and one of his hands came up over yours on the counter, interlacing your fingers while simultaneously gripping to the counter for support. His deep moans were vibrating deep into your soul, or at least it felt that way as his body was smushed right against yours.

You could feel his warmth filling you up until you felt a bit dripping down your sticky folds. Harry caught his breath as he held himself in you for a few moments before slowly pulling out of you. “Oh shit, s’a lot.” He muttered quietly, “Hang on to the counter for a sec.” he instructed and you nodded as he hurried to grab a hand towel from the counter behind them. When he returned he dabbed at your entrance.

“I swear I’m in another dimension.” You mumbled and he chuckled.

“Push a little bit for me.” He instructed. You did as you were told and he ran the towel over your swollen and throbbing pussy again, the fibers of it tickling you just a bit. You then felt him drag it down your right inner thigh, before he sunk to the ground and cleaned whatever had dripped down to the floor. “Good to go.” He said softly as he pressed a kiss to the small of your back, to that spot he’d been dying to kiss ever since he saw you.

He then got up and you turned around and he chuckled, your tits were certainly smeared over with mascarpone and coca powder. You shrieked as he lunged you onto the counter again and you grabbed the edge of it and squeezed as his lips found your already pebbled nipple and sucked it clean before licking over your supple breast, cleaning it of his favorite dessert. He hummed contently as he sucked a little mark against the the underside of it before moving over to the other one. Your fingers raked through his curls and you tugged a bit when he sucked at your nipple too harshly, pulling it into his mouth forcefully before biting down on it a bit until you giggled in slight discomfort until it dissolved into a moan and he smiled and popped off of it loudly. He chuckled and then kissed up your sternum, neck, jaw, and then your lips again. Your smile was sincere as he rubbed his forehead against yours a few times, making the moment feel a lot more intimate.

“Alright?” He asked you.

“Yeah, just still coming off it.” You assured him and he smiled.

“Good.” He hummed before closing his eyes and you did the same, just basking in the intimacy you shared until a thought crossed your mind.

“Once again I did not get my cake.” You sighed and he chuckled.

“Well you got something…” he joked and you sniggered, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you a new slice.” He assured you before planting a kiss on your cheek.

“Ummm…do you want to stay with me for a bit?” You asked timidly and he smiled.

“Definitely.” He confirmed.

So after getting dressed and getting another slice of the tiramisu, you were both making your way out of the kitchen quietly. You guys could still hear everyone else down the hall laughing and chatting animatedly, though you could tell they were all plastered. You made your way up the stairs and Harry dragged you down the hall to his bedroom, well it was more like a suite, so you cuddled up on to couch he had in front of the TV and you shared your cake as you watched Friends re-runs for a while.

“We should get you to bed.” You heard his voice through your drowsiness and yawned.

“Good idea.” You concurred, but you nuzzled closer to him instead of making a move to stand.

“Want me to carry you?” He asked and you smiled.

“If you really want to.”

“Yeah, come on then.”

But after attempting and failing a few times because you both couldn’t stop laughing or making a serious attempt he just had you hop on piggy back. You leaned on his shoulder and held on tight as he walked you down the long hall and to the other bedroom. He walked you into the bathroom to brush your teeth and waited for you in the room. When you returned, a bit more awake now after dealing with the cold water, you cooed as he had turned down the bed for you.

“Thank you, you’re too sweet.” You said caressing his cheek and he tutted.

“S’nothing. Get in.” He said and you did just that. The bed was as divine as it looked, you wanted one like this for yourself. He sat on the edge watching as you got comfy and once you were, you peered up to see him smiling down at you. Harry traced the high point of your cheekbone with his thumb, such a sweet and comforting gesture.

“I ummm, I just want you to know that this isn’t just a sex thing to me.” He said quietly, “Like I’m not nice to you with the intent to fuck you. I like what I’ve seen of you so far and I just want to be there for you, you know? I want to get to know you. And I know things could get a bit complicated if you and Cal end things, so ummm we can just be friends until you resolve that if you want?” He asked.

“I think that would be wise.” You accepted. “I like you too and I also want to get to know more of you and I just don’t want to fall into something complex that could…hurt you while I’m already in the middle of this mess.” You said with a smile and he nodded.

“Sounds good. And I mean, I’m sure it’ll be hard even if your hearts aren’t in it anymore, so you call me when you need me, yeah?” He asked and you smiled.

“I will.” You assured and he smiled as he reached for the bedside table and handed over your phone so you could unlock it. He put his number in before setting it down on the bedside table again.

“There it is. I’m sorry it started out as a weird night, but I hope I made it a bit better for you.” He hummed and you giggled.

“That’s the understatement of the century, Harry.” You pointed out and he grinned bashfully.

“Don’t want to be too cocky, you know?” He said humbly and you shook your head with a grin.

“Well yes, you made it better. Thank you again for everything tonight.” You expressed your gratitude.

“Course, love.” He said and kissed your lips quickly before making his way out of the room.

You sighed and rolled onto your back with a big smile; you were completely enamored and taken by his way of being towards you. Of course, deep down you were a bit nervous about the big tell-all with Caleb, but you knew you were going to be alright after getting all of the information from him. There was nothing left to fight for with Caleb. Your heart was already drifting in another direction and you didn’t intend to do a single fucking thing about it.

< Previous Part Next Part >

---- Tag List ----

@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @jessitpwk@permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics @slutfortigertattoo @angelbabyyy99 @freedomfireflies @behindmygreyeyes @mellamolayla @nikkisimps @dioc4ne @straightontilmornin @mema10 @fkinavocado @hazuniverse @lolyouallsuck @kathb59 @fictionalmensblog @criesbc1d @mamassssontour

680 notes · View notes

fjorests-of-wildemount · 1 year

Text

Oh man, it was so good to see them all again!! I'm going to have to rewatch at some point, but Caleb is definitely in a weird, emotional in-between place.

Like, you're in your early 30s, all of your friends have careers, and Significant Others, and even families, and there’s just you. Who had a traumatic childhood that delayed your start on adulthood and maybe means you're "behind the curve." The only time you've ever lived on your own you were starving on the streets, homeless and penniless and sunk so deep into a depression you didn't feel human. Now you have a house, and a Tower, all your own, but it is so. Empty. Your friends visit, and you're just a Sending or a Teleport away, but . . . They have their own lives. And that depression maybe starts to sink back in. And you finally have some closure on the biggest quest of your life since it became your own, but all that means is you're kind of directionless. What now? What next? What if I choose wrong?

And yes, on top of that you're falling more and more in love with your Kryn Friend who visits you, but always on his terms. And that's okay, he has his own problems and his own priorities, and you can't imagine you would be worth more risk than he is already taking. You have the life you deserve . . . The life you earned . . . So why does it not feel like enough?

#cr spoilers #the mighty nein reunited #critical role #caleb widogast #shadowgast #possibly a little too relatable mr LOB #anyway i adore him and all of them #and can't wait for part 2!

1K notes · View notes

rfswitchart · 25 days

Text

Obligatory Huntlow post for ASIAS anniversary

So, I might as well do an anniversary post for Any Sport in a Storm, shouldn't I?

Pop quiz: When did Willow Park fall in love with the Golden Guard? There's a lot of answers you COULD say for this. Maybe she started realizing it when they were in the Human Realm. Maybe she realized when he grabbed her out of the sky or was in the detention pit with him.....

You COULD say that.... but you'd be wrong. She realized it the moment Hunter stood between the Entrails and Darius. "Wait, how do you know that?" you might ask. Simple. Because as a writer of 25 years and someone who has had many crushes and relationships... I know that kind of body language and tone of voice well.

"After all, it will be 52 weeks until 'Caleb's' next day off..." Note the way she SAID that. Sly, coy, definite tongue in cheek. The way she's looking over her shoulder back towards him. I mean COME ON, there's a heart shaped cloud just above her head. Hearts being between the two of them is a big tell for that. It's called THEMING. "Ok, but that's just one moment..." Au contraire, did you think I'd come into this with one example? Remember, I WROTE THIS ALREADY. Now, pop quiz #2: Why did Hunter, who had only ever met Willow ONCE know the difference between the real and fake one?

After all, there is no way he could have known that after just one encounter. You can not determine a person's entire personality based on a sole encounter, no matter how much of an impression it left on you. The answer, again, is simple...

Because they had been talking over Penstagram since ASIAS. Probably took a while due to Hunter not being used to typing and stuff, but I cannot imagine they weren't talking since that night. It also explains why Willow trusted him so easily during the scout invasion of Hexside. Because it couldn't JUST be the breathing technique that swayed her. After all, Hunter had lied and betrayed her and her friends before.

...Again with the hearts. THEMING! Anyway, even if we discredit ASIAS and Labyrinth Runners, or how she totally went to kill Kikimora for trying to hurt 'him' (and stopped when she could have hurt him) and ran after 'him' specifically when 'he' was captured (remember, it was Luz, she just THOUGHT it was Hunter) Fine, let's forget all that then...

Because even if you discount those things, she definitely had a thing for him while they were trapped in the human realm. How do I know? Ok, time to teach you kids about flirting 101.

"I'm gonna borrow that book when you're done with it! ;)" She's not saying "I want to read that" because she's curious about Cosmic Frontier. She is saying "I want to know more about your interests," and saying it with a tone that says "I want to turn this into a date if I can." Even before when she's taking a picture and shutting down Amity's snarking on Hunter's costume, her body language, her words, her tone. They are all suggesting there's more than just 'friendship' there. When it comes to flirting, it is not WHAT you say, it is HOW you say it.

Also, while I'm on the subject. Willow is canonically Pansexual, she is not Ace. Also, she is not Demi/aromantic, she is heavily guarded and has trust issues from years of bullying and nearly everyone looking down on her or using her as emotional support. I have the same problem for the same reasons, and I know for a fact I am not aro. I am guarded because I've been hurt before, same as Willow. Hunter is the only one who ISN'T like that.

He doesn't see her as weak and frail, he doesn't rely on her for stuff, and he wouldn't be caught dead hurting her or looking down on her. That is HIS captain, and he'll be damned if he won't see her as anything short of incredible. And boy did he let her know that, more than once.

Anyways, sorry for rambling. Let's all appreciate these two amazing, powerful witches who really do compliment each other's lives.

#huntlow #the owl house #any sport in a storm #willow toh #willow park #hunter toh #hunter deamonne #hunter noceda #willow x hunter #Never underestimate a flirter

146 notes · View notes

bloopitynoot · 8 months

Text

3 Shadowgast fics that made me ugly cry

Okay so I read a LOT of shadowgast fanfics and I wanted to share some of the ones that made me absolutely weep. (I was going to wait until tomorrow but I got too excited to share).

All of these have some intense emotional distress, but I promise you all they may be angsty but they absolutely have happy endings.

They are all set in very different AU's, are hefty completed fics, and have similar feels!

1. the breathe before the phrase

(171513 words) by @kmackatie Chapters: 20/20 Rating: Explicit Summary: The ringing note of a concert A is played by the oboe, echoing on its own in the space. It’s picked up by the wind section, followed rapidly by the brass, and the familiar feeling of an orchestra calibrating takes over Caleb. The tonal adjustments as each person brings their instrument into alignment sinks into him and something inside Caleb shifts in recognition as Essek leads the strings into their own tuning. It’s like something is waking up, like something unfurling and firing across long-unused paths of memory. His hands shake slightly, as he raises his bow and joins them, fingers fumbling against the pegs and fine tuners that give him control over his instrument. ---- Essek Thelyss is a leading violinist, his spot as Shadowhand of the Rosohna Philharmonic Orchestra has been uncontested for over a decade. Caleb Widogast is a recent arrival to the city, convinced by his friends to audition for one of the vacant violinist positions. After starting off on the wrong foot, Caleb and Essek get to slowly know each other, discover what brings them joy, create while defying expectations, and find out that what they can produce together may just be better than anything they can do separately.

Why I cried: The amount of pressure put on Essek made my heart absolutely shatter. That plus the pinning between Caleb and Essek had me weeping. The hurt/comfort energy. The bad parent Dierta and of course past Caleb Ickythong trauma healing. Other than the story itself Katie has put so much energy into explaining the music, the playlist is stunning, and the inspiration for the played pieces in the fic are grounded in actual compositions. No spoilers, but the ending is gorgeous <3

2.Till Human Voices Wake us

(66080 words) by @ariadne-mouse Chapters: 23/23 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Merman!Caleb, no Mighty Nein but otherwise canon setting/events, Neutral evil Essek, Essek-typical anxiety and fatalism, Loneliness, Hurt/Comfort, spooky gothic vibes, some horror and disturbing imagery, the ocean as a threat/love language, Illustrations, drowning themes Summary: Essek Thelyss, lonely and ambitious prodigy, comes to Nicodranas to make a risky gamble with the Assembly. At the water’s edge, he finds himself swept up in another dangerous entanglement he can't seem to escape — and as time goes on, he's less and less sure he wants to. Will his treasonous alliance or the sea itself devour him first? (Or, the one where Caleb is a merman.)

Why I cried: okay so look, this story was so fucking sad I can't even begin to describe it. The love and longing between the two, the tragic backstory for Caleb. Treason = death for Essek (it's a happy ending though so do not worry, but I definitely worried so you don't have to LOL). It also has some stunning art in it!!!

3. what luminous worlds await

what luminous worlds await (178674 words) by @essektheylyss Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Champion of the Luxon AU, Alternate Universe - Future, Space Opera, Religious Conflict, religious trauma, Violence, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Dreams vs. Reality, Demisexual Essek Thelyss, Past Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Fictional Religion & Theology, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mention of Using Sex as Self-Harm, several immortals grapple with loss while trying to save the world, so so many liberties taken with consecution, this wouldn't be a problem if you'd EXPLAIN matthew mercer, and/or if a certain drow would give literally any straight answers, (I mean he can't give straight answers when he's not straight), Background Fjorester (Past), Post-Canon, …very post-canon Summary: “You seek my nature. It is a lonely endeavor. Would you like to join me on this path?” “Yes.” — After a thousand years, a divine champion awakes in a lightless cave above Port Damali with little memory to speak of and a beacon in his hands. Even as he struggles to piece the past together and process what he has lost while he slept, the future demands he answer for the crimes of his elders. It offers little in return, but perhaps there are fragments of possibility awaiting him.

Why I cried: Omg oh boy, this one made me BIG cry- honestly one of my favourite fics I have read so far. A true space opera, a story of love, in many forms, over time, space, and multiple lives. I sobbed from chapter one literally until the end. Though I think you will need an A03 account to read this one, but it is worth the wait to set one up. My partner watched me cry so much while I read this. I totally did download and save this fic to send to pals so they can cry with me. It is worth the agony for this happy ending. I might still be crying LOL

#for the shadowgast shippers #shadowgast #shadowgast recs #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #cr m9 #mighty nein #critical role #honestly some of them I sobbed while explaining the premise to my partner because I have a lot of feelings #these are all worth the length

210 notes · View notes

nova-streyart · 7 months

Text

The Thing about Belos Nobody Mentions

There's an aspect of Belos I haven't seen anyone talk about yet: him potentially being on the schizophrenia spectrum, or schizospec for short, and everything that means. Before you say anything, I am a schizoaffective person. This is my interpretation. This is based off my own experiences with this disorder, and my own research.

Analysis and rant under the cut:

=ANALYSIS=

So this all started when I learned that one of the color design pieces had Caleb and the grimwalkers labelled "Golden Guard Illusion". Artists credited in the image itself.

It's weird to me that they're labeled as illusions and not hallucinations, because the latter is what the ghosts actually are. Illusions are images your brain distorts based off something that's there, while hallucinations are images your brain creates from nothing. The fact that these ghosts are actually hallucinations of Belos and not real ghosts doesn't say a whole lot about Belos on its own, because anyone can hallucinate if they experience intense enough negative emotions. But you'll see why I think there's something more to this.

Following this lead, I rewatched the scene where Papa Titan talks to Luz in the In-Between realm in the series finale. After Luz asks him whether her motivation to save her friends and family makes her just as bad as Belos, she tells her:

"Well, you assume Belos' goal comes from a genuine place. But that man doesn't care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion."

Let me give you a short lesson about delusions in the context of schizospec disorders: Delusions are firmly held beliefs that the person experiencing can't be convinced aren't true. This can be extremely serious and life-threatening, such as as believing all your food's been poisoned. But it can also be harmless; it really depends on the delusion. The type of delusion referenced here would be a delusion of grandeur, which is a real thing in schizospec disorders. Such delusions can be serious, like believing you're the second coming of god, or more harmless, like believing you're better than others.

Taking both the hallucinations and the delusion into mind, it's very possible that Belos has some kind of schizospec disorder.

=RANT=

Let's talk about that scene where Belos goes to the grimwalker cave. Notice how the hallucinations are played for laughs? That's problematic. Hallucinations are not something you can just tell to "shut up" and they'll go away. Hallucinations are not things you can interact with. There's already other media with this problem, such as A Beautiful Mind, but the fact that it's in a show that's supposed to be celebrating neurodivergence is hypocritical.

Let's briefly go back to that Papa Titan quote. See how he used the word "delusion" to describe Belos' motivation?Yeah, that's really problematic in the schizospec community. As mentioned before, delusions can be life threatening, so tossing that word around like it's nothing is really frustrating and insulting. The show should have used a word like "fantasy" to get its point across more effectively if it was implying that Belos has a hero complex.

Continuing this train of thought, it gets worse when you consider how Papa Titan- and in essence the narrative- is essentially ridiculing Belos for experiencing a very intense delusion. Delusions are not something a schizospec person can control. I've already seen the fandom mocking Belos for this quality. It was one of those awful memes with the caption "schizophrenia," and had audio of markiplier doing a bit where he was bantering with an "inner voice". Such memes are awful because they're not real experiences schizospec people go through. They're assumptions about our experiences non-schizospec people make about us.

That would be the worst of it, but no, it gets far worse when you consider a few things:

Belos is the main antagonist. That would be annoying enough, considering the plethora of mentally ill villains in media, but nope. The narrative also treats him as this purely evil being who is incapable of any good whatsoever. Which, OK. It's possible for a schizospec person to be a monster. But the fact that the only schizospec representation we have is either of us as helpless victims, or as irredeemable monsters, is infuriating.

Belos is clearly meant to be a foil to Luz. Which, congrats to the show for having a neurodivergent lead, but let me tell you about some of the hardships schizospec people face: In real life, schizospec people are cast out of mental health advocacy groups. Schizospec people are treated as subhuman by doctors and psychiatrists. Schizospec people are demonized and vilified by society. Schizospec people are denied jobs and housing. With all this in mind the fact the narrative chooses to glorify a character with the "right," the "acceptable," kind of neurodivergence while berating a character with the "scary," the "monstrous," kind of neurodivergence is absolutely disgusting.

=CONCLUSION=

I feel like it has to be said that I am not condoning Belos' actions, or trying to woobify him. Belos, as a person, was terrible. No amount of mental illness tacked onto him will excuse any of his actions.

I'm also not trying to imply that schizospec characters can't be evil. I'm just saying that it's extremely tiresome that the only representation we get is either us as victims or as villains.

To conclude all of this, please, do your research before adding something like this into your story.

#long post #rant post #toh critical #toh criticism #belos #toh belos #emperor belos #philip wittebane #toh philip wittebane

169 notes · View notes

sukunasbabygirl · 1 year

Text

I think something that needs to be understood is that Wittebane fans understand that the brothers and Evelyn aren’t the main characters of the show, we understand the true focus is on characters like Luz, Eda, King, the Hexsquad etc, I mean I love those characters just as much.

The reason I’m personally frustrated, and many other enjoyers of the wittelore are as well, is because it was genuinely built up. We weren’t fixated on small crumbs, we were fixated on an entire story that was relevant to the world of the isles today and the characters today, we were fixated on something that made the antagonist both irredeemable yet human. Which, sidenote, I’ve made a few posts before on why it’s important that we have more villains who are both humanised yet irredeemable and why I loved Philip for that, so you can imagine how he was treated in the finale bothered me quite a bit, I digress however.

In Thanks to Them especially there were set ups that we never really got answers for, and there is a difference between show not tell and… show half of it but not the rest, which feels like what they did. We don’t actually know how Caleb found his way to the isles, or why there were clues to find the Titan blood, or how Philip got there afterward, being as he seemed to have arrived later than Caleb but had no idea in TTT where the Titan blood was. These all feel like questions that could be given very quick answers too.

They hinted at Philip’s guilt multiple times but never really went anywhere with it, and with how the finale played out, it would be better if they just didn’t show it at all. And I have so many feelings about how his death played out but I’m struggling to word them all right now, I know it was the intent to humiliate him and that’s fine, but the way it was executed was such a jarring tonal flip and to me at least, narratively, didn’t feel all that satisfying in the long run?

Also the fact that it’s confirmed now that the Titan was looking out for Luz… does bother me a lot, considering the early themes of the show. The fact they were just two humans who made their choices, and Luz looked to the sky and saw the light and Philip didn’t, it made them so interesting as foil characters, especially as Philip believed the isles was hiding the glyphs from him. But that was the thing, it wasn’t, at least not originally.

Back to the Wittebanes though, you can absolutely leave most of their story vague and told through portraits while also addressing the stuff that probably should be known, and honestly I feel like removing the Collector would allow this. I don’t hate the Collector, when he was originally introduced I found them fascinating as a character, for both his parallels to Philip and to Luz, but in the end, he didn’t exactly add much narrative or theme-wise to the story, which wouldn’t be a problem if these weren’t the final episodes, and he honestly felt under-utilised. Also there’s so many little confusing contradictions with their character. I feel like he could have been written to tie in with the wittelore and also remain a foil to Luz which would have worked well, but in the end it came off as very messy and the storylines didn’t really connect, which is a bit of a problem for a finale.

I know the show was cancelled and cut short, but the Collector we know was a decision made after they found this out, so it feels like we may have gotten more wittelore originally, which would have kept the story and themes cohesive. I think I’m starting to repeat myself now, and I’ve gone off on a bit of an unrelated tangent. I just have so many thoughts and nowhere to put them, and this episode really didn’t feel like The Owl House to me, it just lacked that same emotional flare that focused more on character and story beats in big fights than the shock value or enormity.

I wasn’t so keen on For the Future after rewatching and I think a lot of the arguably wasted screen time during that episode, causing a lack of proper set up for this episode, definitely affected things.

I love this show and I always will, and if you enjoyed the episode then I am so glad you did, these are just my own personal, very complicated feelings on things.

#toh critical #the owl house critical #toh #the owl house #toh criticism #hopefully most people have the critical tags blocked I don’t wish to make people feel negatively if they enjoyed it and don’t feel the same #toh spoilers

240 notes · View notes

seeminglyseph · 10 months

Text

Oh no I started talking about Beau and Fjord’s friendship and started getting emotional. It’s harder to find Empire Sibling compilations on YouTube than Brjeaus but like. This trio of emotionally damaged idiots are so fucking important to me.

Team Top Table of Campaign Two had such intense friendships that like. I swear to god they changed me as a person. Like. They’re so smart and so stupid and so compassionate and so selfish and so individually convinced of their own worthlessness and so desperate for a reason to keep existing and to be worthwhile and so stupid about how they think they have to go about doing that.

Like I know Yasha and Veth have similar problems, and Jester and Caduceus have their own sheltered immaturity, but oh my *god*, Top Table Trio is everything.

And I hope that when they do finally animate The Mighty Nein, they find a way to fit in an homage to Marisha and Liam’s constant struggle for personal space. I know Beau would be more aware of where her limbs would be at any given moment as a trained monk and shouldn’t just flail herself into Caleb like an excited muppet, but. Somehow it adds to their relationship. What siblings haven’t maybe accidentally elbowed someone in the face in the moment of extreme emotion? I just. Would really like it to happen at least once.

#critical role #the mighty nein #beau lionett #caleb widogast #fjord stone #brjeaus #empire siblings

125 notes · View notes

g00ngala · 1 year

Text

hopefully this is the last long post i will ever have to make about hit disney show the owl house but I am so sick of people posting paragraphs of lukewarm takes on philip's death so. one last rant for the road, i suppose.

belos's death wasn't unsatisfying, nor was it purely physical. first of all, philip is a representation of greater societal problems (which are notably still there, remember, there's people who want to reestablish his order for their own gain). he is a plague and parasite on the world and a demonstration of humanity's worst cruelties, and his pathetic death by boiling rain and stomping as the most true and good character, who does her best to do right by everyone and believes in second chances, in the entire show, looks at him with no emotion in a way that directly parallels the way caleb's ghost looks down upon him, and he claws at her feet in a desperate attempt to use another person's good nature once again to get what he wants, and fails and dies, is INCREDIBLY symbolic.

and TWO. the point ISN'T that philip is an Evil Liar Who Lies and his backstory is being shafted for simple evil, he is an incredibly realistic depiction of how many people are consumed by their fear of what they don't understand and their hatred, let it fester into a desire to harm, and then elaborate lies to not only manipulate others but trick themselves by their own rhetoric so they don't have to feel bad for it

throughout the show philip is paralleled to cult leaders and militaristic dictators, and he is LITERALLY a puritan colonizer. philip is white man ego in its purest form. yes, the awful society is 75% the fault of Just One Guy, but this is a cartoon. he represents every man who has tried to build a world like this, who burns what he doesn't understand and makes up lies to justify it and trick his own guilt into not eating him alive.

people keep bitching that philip didn't truly face his own lies and realize how awful he was before he died, or that he wasn't given any chance to change, but philip has run the fuck out of chances. the point is he will never learn because he chooses not to. philip had to die because he'd rather lie and rot and take everyone down with him than EVER admit he's wrong. he killed his brother because he tricked himself into believing that caleb betrayed him, romanticized the idea of Caleb in his head and delusionally convinced himself that he tried to save him, while his knife hangs over his brother's ghost eternally, symbolizing the shoved down guilt he'll never truly outrun.

he made hunter believe it was his fault that philip repeatedly harmed him, he told the people of the isles after slaughtering them over and over that it's better if he rules them because he is better than them, he eternally victimizes himself over and over because he is an abuser. his lies are not just to others but to himself. he makes himself believe that the ends justify the means, when the ends are nonsensical rhetoric and the means are horrific violence. because philip is a person who may have had the capacity for good, but he chooses to live in his own hatred and rot everything around him, taking advantage of hunger for power and good natured kindness in the same breath, and he chooses to turn away from the mirror every time, to refuse to acknowledge the monster he's become because he's a coward.

the titan said it themself. his motives aren't genuine, not because he's evil for evil's sake but because he'd do anything to continue to live in his own delusion of heroism and perpetual victimhood. philip is someone you can find in the behaviors of dictators and colonists and evangelical christians and run of the mill abusers all throughout history. this doesn't make him a cookie cutter villain, it makes him a REALISTIC villain, or as realistic as you can get in a cartoon on the disney channel. he wants power and he wants admiration and he wants death and suffering to the people he's scared of, and he'd rather kill himself and take everyone down with him than ever face who he is.

not all villains need a redemption arc to be complex. he doesn't love to rub his hands together cartoonishly and watch the world burn, but some people do actually enjoy harming others. but the realism comes from how he lies to himself and others about it.

sometimes someone can be truly evil, not because they were born that way, but because they choose to be, and because they choose to live in denial about it until they're rotting in the ground.

#toh #toh spoilers #the owl house #philip wittebane #emperor belos #hannah.txt #hopefully the last toh rant ill ever post. goodbye owl house its been fun!

204 notes · View notes

cherrymoonvol6 · 9 months

Text

i honestly don't mean to dogpile on ASIAS more than i've already done BUT. lately i've been thinking about this pointed visual parallel near the end of ASIAS and hollow mind:

even beyond the visual similarities, one can understand both of these moments as hunter's parental figure about to decisively harm the battered-down hunter's female companion of that episode. so obviously it's interesting to see that both of these moments end very differently.

in hollow mind, hunter uses magic to straight up stop this attack by figuring out how the glyphs works by himself. the focus is, then, on luz's reaction and surprise as she sees hunter is the only reason why she's still alive.

this is completely different in ASIAS: hunter instead puts himself in harm's way, banking on darius stopping the attack because of his physical presence. he doesn't attack nor use magic.

it's also very fascinating to me that hunter is doing the same gesture as willow here. mainly because their reasons are wildly different: willow will do everything to protect her team because of her being a good leader. but narratively, hunter's intentionality has the need to protect his team in the background, because another reason is on the foreground. there's a reason hunter stays in harm's way here and not with belos: because the emotional core of this moment is on hunter and darius's connection.

(and i'm 100% reaching here but the posture of their hands is so telling too. willow's hands are facing the team, using every inch of her body to cover them as much as she's able to; yet hunter's hands are twisted in a gesture that screams "time-out")

and this is why the focus of this moment is on darius, instead.

which, you know, checks out. this was established at the beginning of the episode, and after this darius mentions that he's now worthy of his ancestry, yadda yadda.

willow's bearing in this is that hunter asks his leader for some agency and he finally gets it. which, you know, it's a step up for hunter, but this doesn't mean anything for willow, who leaves the scene in near-tears and refusing to mention hunter by his real name.

(and that's why the episode ending with willow and hunter chatting via message is just SO dumb lol. they just want their dumb crackship to be cutesy so badly.)

on the other hand, hunter's guardian is completely sidelined in hollow mind because the emotional core of this moment is in hunter's relationship with luz. hunter chooses to use luz's magic against his uncle to protect her.

i also really love the imagery of hunter creating a wall separating both luz and belos, while he stays in luz's side - exacerbating the fact that hunter's initial gesture is mostly significant for strengthening his connection with luz. and my personal favorite difference between this moment in both episodes: whereas willow sadly continues to refer to hunter by "caleb", this is the first time hunter calls luz by her name (because i am useless lunter trash).

this marks the third time hunter goes against his uncle's wishes (first time was also influenced by luz; second time was him keeping flapjack a secret), the first time hunter has ever used magic against belos, and also the shift when belos realizes that yet another golden guard has chosen to betray him...

...by being led away by a wild witch. what the fuck is up with this episode my god.

(this image is burned into my eyelids i want to escape from this pain)

you know, for all the negative stuff i spout against h/ntlow in this episode, here's the thing: i believe this is sufficiently good of a setup to build on hunter and willow's dynamic. after all, having an episode focused on hunter's bond with darius is very important for his character. the problem is that in the next episode where hunter and willow get to interact with each other, TOH decides to build hunter's dynamic with GUS.

and i think about all the time about how the premise of labyrinth runners (gus' powers going haywire when he's on very stressing situations) is such a willow thing. this episode could've easily gone the same route FTF did by having willow's powers get out of hand and force her to put up with hunter's company for a while. this means willow and hunter get to build their dynamic by being vulnerable to each other, willow gets to know the real hunter, hunter goes through a little redemption arc for what he did to willow, yadda yadda. it sounds perfect in theory. but instead, willow gets the B plot with amity and she's just supposed to be cool with hunter now because gus is. and then we don't see either of them until COTH where again, hunter has strengthened his bond with gus and he and willow just don't talk to each other ever. why would you do this TOH. you had a perfectly okay setup to have a B- couple in this show and you still managed to mess it up.

#toh critical #anti huntlow #lunter #it's insane how perfect the canon material works to boost up the wrong couple #oh well

77 notes · View notes

critter-genfic-events · 3 months

Text

Hurt/Comfort Fic Recs!

This week, we have thirteen hurt/comfort fics recced! Some emotional hurt/comfort, some physical whump, and sometimes combinations of the two. Check them out under the cut, and as ever, comment or kudos if you like them!

those that crawl and flutter towards the sun by vietbluecoeur (vietbluefic) (6163,Not Rated) Warnings: Major Character Death, Very Mild Insect Imagery, Mortality and Discussions Thereof, Sad & Gentle Ending Pairings: Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss

Essek has always been warned not to touch the creatures, called the in’luthin, "insects" with a lifespan of three days, but what harm is there in just looking? And anyways, when has Essek ever been one to listen?

Reccer says: From the very first words, this fic has such a luxurious weight to it. Some of the Mighty Nein appear, but this is definitively a story between AroAce Essek and AroAce Jester as bittersweet as the tags imply, only less bitter and more longing, and definitely, definitely sweet.

Spit, elbow grease, and a whole lot of gold by Multifandom_damnation (2006,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Ashton Greymoore & Milo Krook

The Nobodies dump Ashton off on Milo's table, and Milo does his best to fix him

Reccer says: Milo voices all of my rage at Ashton's treatment wonderfully. The fic also does a great job of managing the actual process of fixing him, along with all of the emotions involved as well

Philia, Is That You? by Professor_Rye (2034,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Yasha & Mollymauk

Yasha gets hurt protecting Mollymauk from assholes, and the Mollymauk helps Yasha make sure she's actually okay

Reccer says: QPRs my beloved

Crowned Teeth (or, An Offering Revoked) by fruitzbat (130570,Mature) Warnings: Frank depictions of PTSD/galley slavery Pairings: Kingsley Tealeaf/Original Character

Kingsley is mutinied against and sold into slavery halfway across the world. He breaks out, finds out the mutiny was the inside job to end all inside jobs, and makes his survival everyone else's problem.

Reccer says: I really, really like the way that this series explores different kinds of hurt and trauma, and how those kinds of hurt affect people's relationships and self-image. The first and second fics in the series are the most direct about the subject, but the third has a lot about what it means to lose a parental figure and complicated grief/trauma response stuff that I found really refreshing. Characters are messy and non-linear in their healing, and do their best to take care of each other. There's a lot of...I don't know how to say this, but a very no-bullshit look at the concept of the power of love that is this through-thread through the stories. Anyway, I really like them.

Trust by silversky (403,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Caleb & Nott

Nott is sick and delirious, but thankfully there is someone there to make sure she's okay.

Reccer says: the fic is very soft and warm

Scar Tissue by Belphegor (0,Teen) Warnings: scars, canon-typical violence, reference to main character death (and resurrection) Pairings: Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot

Sometimes surviving means learning to live with the scars that killed you. Pike knows a lot about that. Scanlan is still learning. (a little comics set a bit post-Campaign 1.)

Reccer says: Author here - sorry, I usually don't shamelessly self-plug like that, but I set out to write and draw post-campaign 1 hurt/comfort dealing with Pike's and Scanlan's different resurrection-related traumas, and I poured my entire heart into it. (turns out making comics is hard but totally worth it.)

I've Held You in the Plan by CitizenMocha (4015,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Vex & Vax

After all is said and done with the Apogee Solstice and its aftermath, Vox Machina free Vax from the Malleus Key. The twins are reunited. Rest, reflection, and a revelation about what happens next ensue.

Reccer says: Vex's grief is palpable throughout the entire fic, even as--especially as, actually--she's reunited with Vax. It's a heartaching yet triumphant look at what might happen when the events of C3 are all said and done. There's so many little details woven in that serve to make it pack even more of a punch ("Vax Speed" does so many things to my heart) and the dynamic between all of Vox Machina is wonderful as well.

The Night is Starting to Ache by CitizenMocha (3872,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Gwendolyn De Rolo & Vax De Rolo & Percy De Rolo

Set after episode 76 of campaign 3. It's the middle of the night and Gwendolyn is afraid to sleep.

Reccer says: I loved this glimpse of an older Percy as a loving, indulgent father doing his best to comfort his child.

maybe then my breath could embody by lunarblazes (1331,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Caduceus & Calliope Clay

Calliope and Caduceus have a fun bonding moment about the fucked up shit that happens when you leave home

Reccer says: There's so many little details I love in this, it's perfectly in character, and I love their sibling not-quite-comforting each other dynamic

a garden in the stars by wanderingBasilisk (2264,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Caduceus & Fjord

Caduceus stays back on the Nein's spaceship while the others run errands on a space station. When Fjord gets overstimulated from the crowds there, Jester brings him back to the ship and to Cad, who knows just what his friend needs.

Reccer says: It's very atmospheric (the description of the garden on board the Nein Heroez is So Evocative) and the familiarity and care between Cad and Fjord is so lovely and sweet. The time they've spent together and the comfort of a well-worn routine is apparent throughout the whole fic and comes together in the sweetest way.

Canities Subita: An Exploration of Self-Image by oversteepedearlgrey (1760,Teen) Warnings: Choose not to warn Pairings: Percy & Vox Machina

Percy hates looking in the mirror. He keeps his hair short and out of his face. He can’t wear his glasses during haircuts, and he certainly can’t be the one cutting it. It takes a creek, a bear, and a panic attack to find out why.

Reccer says: Percy is wonderful for hurt comfort, but I love the way that this is handling something that is more emotionally distressing than physically painful.

A Pirate's Bounty of Gold Doubloons by bluegreenamber (1823,Mature) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Pairings: Kingsley & Yussa

Kingsley hadn't been expecting any company today, especially not a powerful (and injured) elven wizard seeking refuge.

Reccer says: It's a really fun pairing!

Miles to Go by Crewe (3621,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

After a grueling battle, Vox Machina is hours away from the nearest cleric racing to get an unconscious Keyleth to Pike before poison takes its toll. Scanlan is hiding an injury to keep attention on Keyleth. It’s maybe a little worse than he expected.

Reccer says: Lovely fic where everyone is perfectly in-character, and the humour and tension are balanced just right, as are the worry and deflection (on both sides). Special mention to the Scanlan & Grog and Vex & Scanlan pairings, those add just the necessary acid-sweet icing on the h/c cake!

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring Yasha!

Then, it'll be clothes, time skip/future fics, and pranks!

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

51 notes · View notes

aeor-is-for-reccing · 11 months

Text

Shadowgast Recs: Time Travel and Time Loops

This week, we have 12 fics that feature time travel or time loops under the cut! Check them out, and don't forget to comment or kudos if you like them!

Something Worth Saving by cow_queen (35341,Not Rated) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence and Major Character Death (But they get better eventually)

A Groundhog day AU where Essek keeps reliving the day the Dynasty killed the Mighty Nein, constantly going back to the beginning in a desperate attempt to save his friends.

Reccer says: I really enjoy the way the timeloop mechanic is handled here actually, and rather enjoy the slow realization of who is really causing problems.

in the times in between by jakia (8098,Teen) Warnings: None

A strange man keeps showing up to help the Ermendruds, but Una thinks he's really swell, if not a bit odd and strangely familiar...

Reccer says: Look, I just love Una's perspective and how we as an audience know who this man is but she doesn't. I just adore this fic so much.

To be Defeated and Victorious by basically_npr_trash (6394,Teen) Warnings: none

While on a mission for Master Ikithon, Bren receives a letter from a mysterious Dynasty stranger offering a tenuous olive branch. Bren's rational side tells him to burn it immediately, but something pulls on him to follow through. A This Is How You Lose the Time War AU

Reccer says: It's got enemies to lovers, time travel, spies, clever places to hide letters, and the letters themselves!

Another Time, Another Place by Operafloozy (9780,Teen) Warnings: none

Essek and Bren are time travelling spies that write each other letters. They fall in love.

Reccer says: It's This is How You Lose the Time War AU that focuses a lot on how their relationship changes from enemies to falling in love, and has some great visuals and lines in it. Also has a great Astrid and Eadwulf Cameo

the better version of our past by KmacKatie (5840,Explicit) Warnings: None

In the split moment where Caleb and Essek use the gem to give everyone some much needed rest, they see visions of alternative timelines

Reccer says: The vibes are so perfect and weird. A wonderful emotional roller coaster for our boys

displacement by mllekurtz (12834,Explicit) Warnings: Dubcon in the flavor of past!Essek sleeping with present!Caleb without disclosing that he isn't present!Essek

Post-97 Essek gets body swapped with his post-campaign self, sleeps with Caleb, and reckons with the fact that the Nein seem to love him.

Reccer says: This is Essek at his most self-loathing and Caleb at his most Essek-loving. That combination is heartbreaking in the best way, and makes the comfort that comes at the end hit that much harder.

Breaking Inertia by futureshieldmaiden (31096,Teen) Warnings: none

Caleb and Essek get stuck in a time loop, and have to work together to get out of it.

Reccer says: An interesting take on the time loop idea - I like how having both of them stuck in the time loop changes the dynamics between them, even as they discover more information about each other along the way.

a shape made by our hands by saturdaysky (4158,Teen) Warnings: none

Caleb time travels to a decaying timeline and meets a young Essek.

Reccer says: The look at Essek as a child is both adorable and heart-wrenching, and the way present day Caleb and Essek respond to what happened is perfectly them.

time will come by mieletthe (5750,General) Warnings: None

In his old age Essek travels back in time to visit an elderly Caleb for a conversation on grief and death.

Reccer says: A remarkably cathartic and tender story. If you need a good cry, here it is!

if only for a moment by saturdaysky (2035,General) Warnings: deals with the eventual future death of a main character, but no one dies in the fic

Caleb accidentally travels forward in time, far past his death. Essek is there and has been expecting him. They share a soft moment.

Reccer says: Sky handles the topics of grief and love with such exquisite care. I cry wonderful cathartic tears every time I read this fic. I'm tearing up writing this summary. Read this fic, you guys.

Twelve Thousand and Sixty-Five Seconds by LessAttitudeMoreAltitude (1945,Teen) Warnings: There is repeated major character death and suicide, neither being permanent but is nonetheless present

Time was Essek's speciality. Which was why, waking up in his dark cell on the day of his execution, he immediately noticed the dozens of threads of possibility. Countless echoes of Caleb trying over and over again to save him. And they only got more numerous the closer he came to his death.

Reccer says: I liked it!

And then two for this last fic:

The Fullness of Time by Cers (162788,Teen) Warnings: None

In the battle against Lucien, Essek makes a gamble that accidentally sends himself and Caleb back in time. They have to work to figure out how to get back to save their friends.

Reccer 1 says: This fic is incredibly well written and the last couple of chapters left me a mess with my emotions. Lots of good bits of the wizards trying to figure out their feelings and then avoiding talking about them Reccer 2 says: One of, if not the best Time Travel fic out there. Cers explores the highs and lows of time travel, along with the paradoxical risks associated. HIGHLY Recommend.

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast.

Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week’s we’re going to have fics that go a little darker - featuring Ludinus Da'Leth!

#shadowgast #time travel #critical role #cr fics #fic recs #critrole fic recs #essek thelyss #caleb widogast

96 notes · View notes

sporadically-writing · 1 year

Note

Did you get a request? It's headcanons of dating Mollymauk, Essek, Caleb and Fjord. Thanks!

Love me some Crit Role prompts, hope you like 'em!

Mollymauk Tealeaf

Molly is chaos incarnate regardless of whether you are in a relationship with him or not. Your life with the Nein is never dull anyway, but especially not when Molly's around.

Molly, however, is also incredibly smart for essentially being two years old. He's perceptive and picks up things about people very quickly. He is also adept at using that knowledge for his own benefit. All this to say, he picks up on your crush on him very quickly.

And uses this knowledge for evil...

...constantly.

Molly flirts with you every chance he gets with every possible idea he can think of just to see what kind of reaction he can get. He's incorrigible, but you blush all the same.

Don't worry! He also finds a nice time to chat with you when the two of you are on watch and lets you know that he has become just as fond of you. He, "just likes teasin' you, love."

Will find every opportunity to make you laugh or smile and is your biggest supporter and defender on and off the battlefield.

He's your circus man. He loves you fiercely, loudly, and sweetly as the world allows him for as a long as he can.

Essek Thelyss

Essek is a very difficult man to get to know. But, it has been scientifically proven that he can be worn down. Just keep at it.

Once you find something to bond over, Essek can be very sweet. He, despite any attempts he makes to instruct others that he does not, has a very big heart and cares an awful lot about the people he allows to really see him.

If you have a problem he will do whatever he can, within his abilities and around his busy schedule, to help you.

He is very hard on himself and in some instances probably should be to a degree, but you have to be there to stop him and that brilliant but treacherous brain of his from hurting his poor heart and soul.

Watch out for him please. He's battling a lot.

A relationship with Essek would be a sweet and loving one but it would also be fraught with the dangers of the lines he walks on a daily basis. The good news is, the love the two of you share is more than enough to whether it.

Caleb Widogast

Caleb, like Essek, cares very deeply for those around him. But, unfortunately also like Essek, also suffers through a lot of mental and emotional torment of his own making.

He's gotten better being with you and the Nein but you can tell that he still struggles. The kind of things he's been through are not things you can simply forget. He may need your help in the mental fight against his demons every once and a while.

Caleb would need a lot of coaxing to get him to really open up to you about his feelings for you (I mean we all saw how he got around Jester sometimes). You might have to be the one to make the first move because he will likely have plans to keep that secret to himself until the end of time.

I feel like Caleb would oddly be really good at taking care of you? Like reminding you to get the proper amount fo sleep (after all, he knows exaclty how many hours you've been awake for), and eating the proper amount as well as taking breaks. But, at the same time, he is awful at doing that for himself. Watch this one, make sure he doesn't fall asleep with his head in a spell book.

I also imagine that Caleb, once you get to a certain point of comfort in the relationship, is as cuddly as his cat. Imagine that after a particularly long day, he just flops on top of you, absolutely exhausted, curling in to you. Probably mumbling things in Zemnian that makes absolutely no sense regardless of whether you speak the language or not. He's very tired, just hold him and let him sleep.

Caleb is a very attentive person and he remembers literally everything. He constantly mazes you by the things he remembers about you and your relationship. He loves you and that love comes through in the detail he puts into every magical creation that you are included in.

Fjord Stone

Fjord, Wildmother love him, constantly finds himself in ridiculous situations. You, as much as you love him, have to find the humor in it. You are always there to help him out, but you almost have to laugh at him sometimes.

Regardless of his occasional fumbling, Fjord is very attentive and romantic.

He finds his own ways to fluster you, finding moments to be almost comedically romantic like someone out of Jester’s novels.

He, being a Paladin, and a new one at that, most likely feels a need to protect or like he has to prove he can protect you. He knows you are fully capable of defending and protecting yourself and he never wants to step on your toes in that field (he, like everyone else mentioned, is a respectful boi) but he loves you and sometimes assumes that he needs to prove that he is worthy of loving you, prove that he can keep you safe, prove that he himself is safe for you to be around.

He knows how to make you smile in the simplest of ways. Whether it be a flower left for you, a kind word, a reassuring hand on your shoulder, Fjord somehow always manages to know when you need something sweet like that.

Navigation

Request Rules/Character Sheet

#mollymauk x reader #mollymauk tealeaf x reader #essek x reader #essek thelyss x reader #caleb widogast x reader #fjord x reader #fjord stone x reader #mighty nein x reader #the mighty nein x reader #critical role x reader #crit role x reader #x reader #headcanons #request

244 notes · View notes

edoro · 2 years

Text

thinking SO hard about that “Babybel gets transported outside of his own mindscape with Luz and Hunter and ends up stuck in six year old form” concept

i want him to have adult Belos’s memories and knowledge but he’s physically occupying the body and brain of a small child so like his cognitive development level is really lagging behind what he’s used to (which wasn’t a problem in the mindscape where it runs on dream rules, but unfortunately,)

he’s scheming but he’s also having a hard fucking time because like you will never. ever convince me. that Philip Wittebane is not a deeply traumatized man. all rectangles are not squares but all squares are rectangles and brother? this is one developmentally disrupted square.

so anyway he’s got four hundred years of being fucked up and evil crammed into a six year old brain and he’s furious and terrified and overwhelmed and going to get put in shitty mindbaby jail for sure.

serenely choosing to interpret the fact that he never said anything in Babybel form but then immediately would not shut up in Belos form is because he was nonverbal for a very long time in childhood* and therefore, not possessing several centuries’ worth of verbal communication workarounds**, he can’t talk to anyone in the Owl House

they give him a big sketchbook and a bunch of colored pencils and markers, because if there’s one thing the Owl House has in abundance it’s craft supplies

he spends a while being profoundly frustrated by six year old motor skills and total lack of most of the artistic muscle memory he’s used to but starts to work something out that doesn’t totally disgust him

i just want him to without really thinking draw a familiar face, look at it, and get hit with 400 years of missing (and recreating and raising and programming and using and being betrayed again by and murdering) Caleb but, and this is the crucial part, with the emotional and cognitive capacity of a six year old

and burst into furious tears

(*people were not, i think, kind about this)

(**actually there are a couple of notable occasions as Belos where he gets confronted with something he clearly doesn’t have either a preplanned speech or a well-oiled social script to respond to and just. does not say anything.)

(***edited this post to link to the post that first outlined this concept bc it was not in fact me! they also deserve some love for it)

#luz thinks this is about hunter #which i mean she's not quite WRONG #it only deepens her conviction that this is the manifestation of the Emperor's sense of guilt #he gets angry and kid brain tells him to crumple up the paper and eat it.#when luz snatches it out of his mouth he bites her. this is not his most dignified moment.#emperor belos #babybel in real time #toh spoilers #the owl house #babybel au

697 notes · View notes

golden-flute · 1 year

Text

No one asked for my opinion on The Sun and the Star, but I’ve been thinking of nothing else since I finished the book, and I have to write my thoughts or I will explode, lol.

Fair warning: Spoilers and long-ass thought dump ahead.

Gif Originally posted by riptides

On the Themes

I picked out a few different themes that I found carried through the book:

Self-acceptance

Living with trauma

Embracing change

What healing looks like

I thought they were brilliantly approached because there was a lot of nuance for each theme. Particularly when you consider that these are pretty heavy topics for middle-reader age groups!

The biggest theme directly relating to Nico was this idea that it's possible to embrace your trauma, to accept it, and to grow around it. In his case, it's literal, with the Cocoa Puffs hanging around him now like a little parade of Walmart Ghibli Sootballs, lol.

I think that Nico was working through his trauma well before he ever heard the prophecy. The fact that he was able to accept his darkness so easily once Nyx forced him to confront it was more a mark of how far he'd already progressed than it was a big moment where he was suddenly magically healed from all of his baggage. The entire purpose of the Cocoa Puffs was to act as a physical representation of Nico's existing trauma. They will always be a part of him, but they don't define him. He's simply accepted them and freed himself from them without avoiding the fact that they'll still be there. That's such a healthy place to be, particularly because I think a lot of people tend to fall into the same trap of toxic positivity that Will did....

Many people who are natural healers and problem-solvers often fail to realize that being healed doesn't always mean that pain has totally been eradicated, hurray. In their minds, there's always some way to fix broken people. And I think that's why Will's conversation with Persephone was so important for his growth. I think he always saw Nico as someone who needed to be fixed, and to Will, that meant that Nico must hide from his trauma, or ignore it. Will's story arc centered around his acceptance that he can't (and shouldn't) always try to heal people "his way." With Nico, he had to get on his level, see him, and accept his pain. I've known people in my life who tend to avoid negative emotions because they think it's totally bad. But hiding from the pain can often make it worse. Darkness only grows stronger in the shadows, after all.

Nico and Will's internal journeys were two sides of the same coin in that respect. I loved it. Nico was ready to accept his trauma, but in a way, Will had to accept it too.

By the time they reach Nyx, these internal struggles had been mostly resolved and simply need to have their big final moment to totally hit home. But there's another kind-of-subtle-but-also-not theme for Nyx that ingeniously ties into the idea of questioning gender and sexuality. Nyx sees things as black and white. Even her own children, who are more than their labels, have to fit into these perfect molds in her mind. She's the BBEG because she struggles to change or to accept others changing around her. Talk about a heavy topic, right? But then at the end of the book, this idea of change is also beautifully encapsulated in Nico and Piper's discussion about sexuality labels. Particularly from Piper's perspective, since she's still figuring herself out and just going with what feels right in the moment. People are beautifully complex creatures who are capable of being something new every day.

On Characterization

Over the years, I've discovered that I gravitate toward the reformed, darker characters--the gloomy cinnamon rolls, if you will. Nico. Laudna and Caleb from Critical Role. Hunter in the Owl House. Zuko. Kaladin from the Stormlight Archives. Riku from Kingdom Hearts. So on and so forth. Something about their stories is so compelling to me. Perhaps seeing them overcome their own trials is a symbol that light comes after darkness, which is a message I have clung to my entire life, because it gives me hope for myself. And that’s exactly one of the messages I got from TSATS. This time, it was Nico’s turn for a reprieve from his trauma.

Y'all. Nico's a fucking NERD. The moment we met him as a little kid, he was talking everyone's ears off about Mythomagic, and he revealed he had a pirate phase and... yeah, he's just a nerd. His carefree personality took a huge nosedive after Bianca was killed, and then he became this unrecognizable dark creature of vengeance. I know some folks felt that he was really out of character in TSATS, but I find the shift just harkens back to the themes of change. Nico's transforming before our eyes, guys. Though Apollo's series and into TSATS, he's come to a place of peace where he could let go of his anger and his darkness... or at least accept them. And that's given him the space he needed to kind of get back on an even keel. He's finally able to return to his natural progression as a hyperactive dork. That's what we saw in TSATS and I loved it so much for him.

I found Will's progression really interesting as well. He's always been seen as the intrepid healer with a sometimes-literal glowing halo around him. In this story, the tables were turned and he had to accept that he needed support sometimes too. But more than that, this is the first time we've really gotten inside Will's head. We've only ever really seen him from the perspective of Nico (his admirer) and Apollo (his affectionate father). But this time, we were able to get Will's thoughts, and he's... not as perfect as we expected. And I love it. No one is perfect, and I think that in the absence of more information on Will, people sort of developed headcanons of him that understandably made the TSATS version of him a bit jarring. But if he were this perfect pariah of a character, that would hardly be interesting. I really enjoyed that in the first half, he spent so much time complaining about the Underworld, because it just meant there were some lessons for him to learn as well. He's complex, just like the rest of the PJO cast.

Other Incongruent Thoughts

Guys, I'm dead. When we finally heard the fated prophecy, I was... really underwhelmed. It didn't feel like it was literarily as impressive in the same way the other prophecies had been. It just... wasn't very good poetry. But then Dionysus criticized the rhyme structure and called it "a bit forced" and I was like "Hang on..." Come to find out, Hades made up the prophecy to get Nico to go save Bob! Can you just imagine Hades sitting at a desk, surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper, writing bad poetry that's convincing enough to get Nico off his butt and into Tartarus? I'm deceased.

The reunion between Nico, Maria, and Bianca BROKE me, y'all. I was full-on sobbing and my eyes were swollen this morning when I woke up. I was confused by how they were there, since past books said that they'd "moved on," insinuating they'd tried for rebirth. But I saw another post someone made about how Hades (or Bianca?) mentioned that they were the barest of essences remaining. I'm not saying it very well, but it made a lot more sense, and I hadn't caught that insinuation in my read-through. But I absolutely loved that we didn't get this reunion until after Nico had already accepted his trauma. If this meeting had come before, I'm sure he would have fought to "save" his mom and sister--I mean, he even says it in the book. But by that point, all he needed was to say his piece and get some closure, and that was enough for him. It was a mark of how much he's grown, and I just... *chef's kiss*

I love Hades. He's genuinely a good dad. Well... sort of. Maybe not at the beginning of PJO. But he, too, is changing his ways and taking more of an interest in his children. Or at least Nico. I wonder if we'll ever get more Hazel/Hades content? But Nico pretty much confirmed that Hades was around when he was a kid, and Hazel said the same thing in a previous book, which is more than pretty much every other demigod can say, so there you go. By Olympian standards, Hades deserves that #1 Dad mug.

I was really surprised that it took over half the book for Nico and Will to make it to Tartarus! Don't get me wrong, there was still plenty going on, but I was so used to the idea of Percy and Annabeth dropping in at chapter 2, it surprised me!

Anyone else peep the really big typo on page 401 of the US hardcover? "My mother is Bianca di Angelo, and she loved me and my sister." I stared at that for a long time last night wondering if I was going crazy, lolol. From what I've heard, the typo has already been fixed on the kindle version of the book, but those of us with physical copies have got the OG mistake. Whoops, lol!

I'm having a hard time discerning if the "'Dam it,' said Nico." on page 352 is a typo or not, for the pure and simple reason that there were so many dam jokes in PJO. And somewhere else in the book, Nico actually says "Damn," so... was it a typo? The 'dam' joke didn't really have a purpose for being there, and it wasn't repeated later, so I feel more like it might have been another typo?

We got a little Percy and Annabeth action! And Sally and Estelle! I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that Percy and Annabeth had already forgotten about Bob. Especially since Percy's whole growth in the House of Hades was to realize how many people he'd left behind. I never expected them to join Nico and Will in their Tartarus journey, but they apparently brushed him off so fast I got whiplash! What was that about? I wonder if we'll get more on that in the short story that comes out later this year?

We got a little mention of Damasen in this story as well, and obviously if he hasn't regenerated yet, there wasn't much they could do for him. But... I'm surprised that Percy and Annabeth didn't mention him or ask Nico to keep an eye out for him as well because he was there at the Doors of Death, making the same sacrifice as Bob. Will there be another Tartarus rescue mission in the future? Nemesis told Nico that any future journies into Tartarus would be unsuccessful. While I feel like it's unlikely we'll get any more Tartarus field trips, those little asides made me wonder if Rick Riordan's got more ideas floating around that he wanted to leave open for later, just in case.

They used the words gay, bisexual, and lesbian! I don't think this book series has ever done that before! I have a sneaking suspicion that this was part of Mark's contribution to the book. RR usually tends to talk around those words--he'll make it obvious, like when Apollo talked about his love for Hyacinthus, but I don't think Apollo ever actually used the word bisexual to describe himself (correct me if I'm wrong). I think that it was a really good step forward for children's literature. If you're going in, go all in, you know?

Lil Nas X made an unbelievable appearance! Lol! Though I have to admit, the inconsistency of the timeline of references sometimes gets me. Like many books ago, some character probably dropped a reference from ten years ago, and a year or two in book time, we get a Montero reference. Like, it's a small nitpick, but that inconsistency always pulls me out of the story a bit. Yeah, you heard right--I'm totally fine with the issues everyone else had with the books, but the weird timeline of references messes with me, lol. That's where I draw the line! That's not the say the Lil Nas X reference wasn't spectacular, though, lol.

Do I... like Mr. D now? I love Dionysus from the mythologies, but Mr. D was always so... blegh. But he's like legit a decent person to Nico. He shared his popcorn! That. Was. HUGE. Hahaha.

We finally got the full scoop on Nico's first trip to Tartarus!

The nickname "Night-Light" is endlessly adorable. And then Will ruins it by turning around and calling Nico "Death Boy" lol.

The trogs were never my favorite mythological creature ever, but they grew on me in this story.

So... Menoetes and Geryon, huh? Menyon? Geroetes? What's our ship name? Lol.

Will having the hots for Persephone was not on my bingo card, lol! I did really enjoy their talk, though. It really set up Will's character arc very nicely. And I loved that Persephone seems to be taking a leaf out of Hades' book and trying to be a bit kinder towards her stepchildren. It's not their fault, you know?

I'm seeing a lot of reactions to Nico's coming out story. I agree, that's one part I felt was a little bit forced. Introverted people can have moments where they're feeling brave and don't mind an audience (Hi, I'm exhibit A), I wouldn't say it's out of character per se. But it was a little bit... shall we say out of context? Since we didn't get the actual scene, but Nico and Will's recollection of it?

I really liked Gorgyra. The random chapters of stories from Nico and Will kind of jarred me a bit, but I think they were a nice touch, but would have been too much if they'd all been told chronologically. I agree with Rick and Mark's decision to split those up.

Amphithemis was a trip! I wish we could have lingered a bit more on Nico being upset at Will for tricking him away. I was glad that Nico at least asked Hades to free Amphithemis.

I saw some complaints that Nico and Will were super cringey around one another. To that, and as someone who's ace, I say... most couples are cringey around each other, particularly young couples. Nico and Will are still feeling out their relationship, and they don't have the years of friendship that Percy and Annabeth had that made their relationship so easygoing. I think Nico and Will's relationship is a bit more realistic in terms of first loves.

I loved the frank conversations about PTSD. I eat stuff like that up, because when I read it, I can just imagine someone else who really needs that sort of representation reading this book and finding comfort in characters like them.

And I'm literally out of space. I had no idea Tumblr had a character limit, but I hit it, lol. But if you got this far, thanks for reading!

#the sun and the star spoilers #tsats spoilers #spoilers #sun and the star spoilers #tsats #the sun and the star #nico di angelo #will solace #percy jackson #hades #sun and the star

128 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 1 year

Text

So I will freely admit to having this same perception during much of Campaign 2, and I understand where it comes from, but with the benefit of hindsight and what we learned from the later campaign, particularly post-hiatus, I do not think that Fjord ever really had a problem with toxic masculinity. I think that some of his issues overlap with what we'd consider toxic masculinity, but I don't actually think that was ever the problem.

Fjord has quite a lot of problems, but in summary: he experienced a childhood of abuse and neglect and bullying, which led to significant insecurities about his appearance and capabilities. He developed into an adult who very much tried to either blend in and not be a burden (the mimicry, the Mask of Many Faces, his confession to Caduceus that he might be a liability) or who alternately had significant issues with power and control and ruthlessness (which, notably, he admits to Caleb, who cops to having the exact same problem).

So while those issues of needing to be in control, to hide vulnerability, and to have some measure of power and usefulness are very much part of the constellation we'd understand as toxic masculinity, he lacks many of the others - objectification of and violence towards women (he is in fact often uncomfortable with attention from women), excessive aggression, even violence. He is, of course, quite violent; but this is D&D and he's not notably more violent than most characters - and when he is, it's primarily either towards people trying to kill him, or specifically towards his friends' abusers and with his friends' permission.

Much of the toxic masculinity was pinned on to Vandran, but in the end, we see Vandran, and that doesn't appear to be his issue either. He is also reticent, and comes off as somewhat stern; but he also made the same exact choice to relinquish power and break his pact, and he's not described as womanizing or particularly violent, and is described as enjoying a romance novel and respecting Jester. Vandran's expectations for Fjord (never mind that many of Fjord's expectations are ones he has placed upon himself) are never, not once, indicated to come from a place of "be a man."

All of the traits Fjord displays are quite easily found among the women of Critical Role, or among men who don't receive the same criticism. The masks, inability to show vulnerability except to one or two people, and need for power and control? That's indistinguishable from Vex; it's their response to traumatic childhoods of neglect, deprivation, and loss. The control issues and ruthlessness show up in Caleb's story, and Caleb is rarely tarred with the same brush of toxic masculinity despite also being, well, a man and a fairly gender-conforming one at that [setting aside that gender roles in Exandria, like sexuality, don't fully map onto our real-world conceptions, since I don't think a full thesis on death of the author is helpful here]. Fjord lacks the arrogance of Percy, Molly, or Caduceus. Beau is honestly much more socially aggressive. Jester shows similar issues with expressing difficult emotions or asking for help and both she and Caduceus share Fjord's tendency to place standards upon their own behavior no one else expected. Laudna has the same issues with needing to be useful, Keyleth and Veth share many of Fjord's general insecurities, Yasha is, at least during the campaign, just as violent; and any number of female villains, but notably Avantika, Delilah, and Ripley, are far more ruthless and power hungry than Fjord ever is.

He is definitely a deeply flawed individual - the current two-shot is showing the depth of his issues and how they are a tangle of pick-up sticks he has barely begun to dismantle - but it seems disingenuous to pin these flaws on toxic masculinity for Fjord when there's never any tangible indication that they spring from that source.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #fjord stone #cr meta

204 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

rockingbytheseaside

✦ Rocking By The Seaside

fishnchip3011

eon

hiragi-hime

The stars keep falling and when they splitted, they build a new

alunasky-blog

Alunasky

97inspire97