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tehriel · 1 year

Text

Commissioned (Terzo x Reader x Sodo)

It is completely finished!

Blurb

Reader is afab nonbinary.

Against your better judgment, you take on a portrait commission with suspicious beginnings. You are an atheist thrust into the world of Satanism as you meet and paint for the earth's most charming antipope. Will you walk away with your worldview untainted? Or will your little chats with Papa Emeritus the Third leave you changed forever? And what of his ghouls~? —Who is that in your motel window your first night in town?

This fic likes cheeky banter, discourse and character driven plot. It's an extremely slow burn featuring Terzo, Sodo—and a little Swiss. It’s about 110k words to get lost in~

You can find the piece here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44321002/chapters/111461152

Below is the first chapter! I hope you like it :3

Chapter 1 - A message from the clergy

[Message from the clergy]

Dear ______

I am writing regarding a one-on-one portrait our clergy would like to commission. I am attaching a calendar. Would these dates suit you?

In his name,

Sister Imperator

Ahoy!

Sister Imperator, thank you for your interest in my work. I have attached a pricing sheet. If pricing is okay with you, then we talk about dates.

-_______

[Message from the clergy]

Dear ______

We have seen your work, and we want you regardless of cost. Do any of these dates suffice?

In his name,

Sister Imperator

Thank you for getting back to me so promptly, Sister.

I recently had my schedule cleared, actually. Any of those dates should suffice. Depending on size, I will need two to four separate sessions with the model, rounding up to about 10 hours for a small piece going upwards of 18 hours in person for bigger. It's all in my pricing guide.

If it is interstate, I will need lodging. It is my personal preference that I do not stay with you in your home, of course. And finally, I would like half up front and half once the painting is completed.

If these conditions meet your expectations, I have attached my contract.

-_______

[Message from the clergy]

Dear _____

We look forward to meeting you at the Mountview Cathedral next week.

In his name,

Sister Imperator

***

Fuck. It was a drive. It was a whole long ass drive with hours to contemplate just how many red flags you ignored in taking the job. It’s not like you had a choice; you needed the pay. You didn't want to admit it, but you also needed to get out of state.

‘Sister Imperator’ had been weirdly pushy and lightning quick to respond—you had to hard ignore the alarm bells ringing. It was difficult, almost as if your right ear had developed tinnitus as some physical manifestation of alarm. There was a low tuning-fork hum reading over each email.

You thought you might scare the sister off with your prices; most people saw your work online and how effortless it seems in your time-lapse videos and happily told you to go to hell after seeing your prices. Making those videos look effortless took a lot of time, practice, student loans and editing. Then there were the travel expenses. People just don't do sit-in portraiture anymore. And for a good reason, you would have to be a little insane to pick it up.

Most people had you paint from photos, which was fine and a staple for your income. But meeting a person and painting them, knowing a facade of them, and there are many facades to a person—just hit differently. And the job came with such an eccentric clientele; you'd painted a man who wanted to pose in a suit made of squirrels, a woman and her five Pekingese all in matching attire. Once, your commission was gifted to an old person to be painted amongst the forest they had saved. They had wanted to be seen as a fairy. It was beautiful. That all seemed so far away now.

You glanced at a sticker pasted in the window of the gas station. It was going to be one of those kinds of towns. It read, ‘they will rise again.’ Crucifix and all. You adjusted the enamel pronouns pin on your lapel. Both the sticker and your pin said ‘they’; maybe these people would be open-minded kind of rise again.

“Excuse me, do you mind if I use the key to your bathroom? The door said to ask,” your voice came out shitty and meek. You were just tired.

“Rightio,” the gas attendant was an older man. He was chewing something—surely not tobacco. He passed over the key; it had a hefty wooden tag to save anyone from making off with it. “You got gas?”

“Uh yeah, number 3, thanks.” You put the key in your pocket and felt his eyes dip to your chest.

“Oh.” He said, as in, ‘oh, you’re one of those’. So it would be like that. “Here you are. Gas is on me, kid.”

Or maybe it wouldn’t be like that? Nope, he handed you a pamphlet that said ‘Mountview holy trinity’. “Oh.” You said, as in, ‘oh, you’re giving me a pamphlet on a religion that could probably hate me.’ “Thank you very much—I am actually painting for a church in town, so that’s..” you didn’t need to tell him your whole thing, but you had, and you were.

“Not that damned cathedral,” he eyed you warily.

“No, I don’t think so, no….” you waved off. Yes, that one, whatever that meant. You knew Catholics and Christians were not really into each other, but you’d thought most of the vitriol had been lost to history. Then again, you were beginning to think this town might have been stuck in history, like a mosquito in amber. You watched him chew. “Cool, I’ll, uh, see about this.” You pointed to the key. “Thank you again for the gas.”

The worst part of the entire interaction was coming back to him after your stop to the bathroom. You had to return the key and inform him that someone had overflowed the toilet.

***

You had to tilt your head to take in all of the cathedral. Something was off about it; maybe it was darker than you were used to, most cathedrals were gothic, but this was gothic in italics. It was jagged and waiting.. for something. Or maybe there was something off about all churches with inflated infrastructure. Maybe you should have 'inflated’ your prices. You binned the thought as soon as you had it; money and asking for it… made your skin crawl sometimes. The pricing sheet asked for the money for you, so you did not have to.

You rubbed your right ear as it had decided to start ringing again.

“You must be ______,” came a call from the entrance while you were wrapped in the tallness of it all. She was an older woman, her hair greying and pulled back. She had the shape of a kindly woman but with something cold creeping into her smile.

You felt your car keys in your hand. You could still deny your name and drive as many hours as it took to return home. You could shake a pride flag at the church’s face and run for the hills. You squeezed the keys for grounding before slowly delivering them to your pocket. “I am,” you heard yourself say. It'd been a while since you used your voice; why did you think it would be deeper? Commanding? Noticeable. You cleared your throat. “Yes, are you Sister…” fuck, you had forgotten her name from the emails. Super professional of you.

“Sister Imperator, yes, it's a pleasure to meet you. Come, follow me; I'll take you to Papa.”

You were about to thumb over to your shitty van where all your supplies were hiding, 'I need to set up, where can I…’ and/or 'I've been driving for hours and would like to know where I'm staying so that I can freshen up,’ all died in your throat as the woman turned around. You had no choice but to follow her into the building.

“Is ‘Papa’ the person whom I will be painting?” You asked, catching up, absently shining the ‘they/them’ pin on your overalls. Saying ‘Papa’ as a full-grown human being clenched something within you—and not in a super good way.

“Yes, Papa Emeritus the third, he ascended to the ranks of Papa as of last year and has not yet had a portrait painted for the hall.”

You heard most of what she had said, only then noting the Italian accent. You admittedly spent more of your time openly gawking at the ceiling, then gawking at the stained glass windows and the paintings. Did they have the right painter? You had confidence in your work, but these were named artists, named. Masterworks. You made a ‘ffff’ fizzling sound as you held back swearing in a holy place.

Holy place. The iconography only then caught up with you. That was a lot of cloven hooves for a holy place. “That's nice,” is all you thought to say faintly. ‘That's nice he ascended to the highest of high unholy ranks, good for that guy.’ A kind of peace came with the satanic-ness of it all. At least you could flap all your favourite pride flags, and no one would bat an eye. Would they?

“Yes, I understand our ways might not be for everyone, but I hope you will give him your utmost respect, regardless.”

Your head snapped back from scrutinising passing satanic depictions for signs of gayness. “I am always professional regarding belief systems; it will not affect the outcome of my work.” ‘Unless you somehow turn out to be a nazi,’ You added silently.

“Good, good.” She seemed to smile genuinely before the cold crept back into her face, sending a chill to your spine, “This is his office here. He knows to expect you. I hope together you'll make something beautiful for our church.”

Why did everything she had to say creep you out like that? “I will do my best to do that,” you nodded and held yourself back from using a thumbs-up to secure the awkwardness.

“I will find you before our mass to give you the directions to your motel,” she nodded and began walking away. “Again, it was a pleasure meeting you.”

You could read people well; maybe she couldn't. You were shitting yourself, being left in the dead centre of an unknown church, about to bother the head of the said church, without backup. “Pleasure meeting you right back,” you grinned nonetheless with your super normal situation. It's called masking, baby~

Her clipped footsteps began disappearing down the stone-tiled hallway. When silence fell, you could really take in the surrounding church ambience. Yep, it was a church. The incense smelt of something in your childhood. The eyes of statues and portraits looked down on you as if they knew you were not supposed to be there.

You blinked at the aged wooden door; it was detailed with a plaque that read ‘Papa Emeritus III’. This was the most uncomfortable opening commission you've ever been through, and one guy wanted to show off his dead arachnid collection to you. Maybe it was more of a tie then? You swore quietly to yourself before you knocked on the door. The hollow knuckle-on-wood sound gave you flashbacks of a principal's office.

“Not on a mass night,” came a slow answer and a slight groan.

You folded your arms and frowned at what that could mean. Outwardly you looked like a person annoyed by the woodgrain of a door.

“I feel you judging me, Sister,” his voice was an ashy sound. “My days before mass are my own, si?”

What does an unholy minister do a day before mass? Some search answers in your mind come up lewd, and others come up sadistic. You look up and down the hallway for Sister Imperator. Then and there, you were a child lost in a supermarket. You sighed softly and remembered you were an adult in an adult situation. “Sorry, I'm an artist—your, uh, Sister said you were expecting me.”

“You’re sorry you’re an artist?” Came the voice on the other side of the door.

“Eh, I have my days,” you shrug.

The ashy voice on the over side of the wood seemed to enjoy that, with a huff of laughter.

He had a nice laugh, smoky. Maybe painting this ‘Papa’ guy wouldn’t be so bad.

“Give me but a moment, artist. I have to make myself, eh, decent.”

Lewd. Definitely lewd; that's what satanic priests do before mass. “Oh, sure, good. Yep.” You stepped far away from the door to give him privacy. “Take uh, your time.” You did not feel like painting someone half way through the job. Standing so long for a painting while being irritable and unsatisfied does not a good portrait make.

You turned on your heel. You went for your AirPods, played something thrashy to mimic the surroundings, and began treating the area as you would a gallery. Ahead you saw the dancing sunshine of windswept branches through stained glass. You stepped into the light and let the colours paint you in rainbows. The lead lighting portrayed an angelic person with arms around a small boy. It could have passed for any religion—save for the smeared Latin and small horns on the child’s forehead.

“Are you supposed to be here?”

“Cheezus, chrimany!” You flinched, pulling a bud from your ear. A shorter masculine figure had suddenly appeared in your peripherals. His voice was marred by the fabric and metallic devil’s mask he wore. The mask must have been a church thing—were you supposed to be masked?

The green eyes behind the mask squinted in amusement.

“Were you just waiting to do that or..?”

He shook his head innocently, “are you supposed to be here?” He asked again.

“I really don’t know at this stage, is anyone supposed to be anywhere?” You pulled a straight face, and he tilted his head slightly, “I’m painting a ‘Papa’(?) or supposed to be. You're not him, right?”

The figure dressed formally in all black and suspenders shook his head slowly. He had a lean figure, kind of like a short, straight stick. It was a nice stick.

You appreciated him for a moment, figuring out his shapes and lines before you realised what you were doing and grimaced to yourself. You did that often. Intimidated by the shiny mask, you hid in humour, “And you,” you gesture around, “you supposed to be here? If not, I could keep a secret,” you winked and tried to be playful.

“I am supposed to be here,” he answered, not entirely playing into your shenanigans.

“Ah,” you nod sagely. You looked around, realising your new companion wanted to stay and watch you. “So this you then?” You point at the horned baby in the led lighting and back to his horned mask.

He smiled then, not that you could see his lips, only hear it in his, “no.”

“Oh?” You arch a brow and point to the blackened scripture, “says right here, this be the baby who would sneak up on people admiring its own depiction.” You tapped the glass like you knew what you were talking about. As if you were not just wasting time. As if you weren’t waiting for your satanic portrait model to finish fucking maybe nine people in the room down the hall.

The devil saddled closer to you with a sly look, “So you read the dead language?”

“It's not dead; it's right there.”

He huffed slightly. “What is your name? For the registry.”

“I was supposed to sign in?” You frowned.

“You were signed in, whether you know it or not, which means you're protected while you're here.”

Protected from…? You bit your lips together; why did he seem more sinister than before? “_____ ______,” you replied, trying to read what lay beyond the mask. “And yours? Something in the old language? Something with no vowels and a couple hissing noises?”

“Sodomiser,” there was a slight growl in his throat.

You nodded profoundly, “Oh, like, you just put that right out there, huh?” That was like calling yourself by your kinks, ‘hey, I'm buttstuff’ or ‘hey, I'm one of those pink flamingos you find on front lawns.’ Could happen. “Did I pass your registration, uh, Mr Sodomiser?”

The red light of the window glinted in the mask as he nodded, and you were suddenly captivated by the reflection. It would be interesting to paint, but the lighting was fleeting. Taking that moment in paint would be impossible. And you were then aware of how close he lingered; if he wasn't wearing a mask, would you have let him so close? He seemed to want to scare you, and you weren't impenetrable, but masks didn't scare you. It was what lay underneath that was genuinely terrifying. Wait, was he sniffing you? “Call me Sodo.”

“Can do,” you rapidly turned back to the window and shoved your hands back into your overalls, suddenly self-conscious about how a drive like that would leave you smelling. “Uh, am I supposed to be wearing one of those?” You figured to ask while watching the leaves shift in the wind before gesturing to where his mask had been moments ago but was then missing. You looked around curiously; the guy had just… vanished.

“Ah, you must be my eh, little painter,” came a voice through a mist of incense from down the hall. “Sorry about that… uhh…” he ended up shrugging.

“Oh.” Was all you had to say. As in, ‘‘oh’, that's what a Papa of a satanic clergy looks like.’ He was not much taller than the masked man that had just left you, but the popey hat did lend to height. He was dressed rather popey all over, with a long, dark cloak patterned religiously. He had a simplistic skull face paint; it was fresh, and you could only imagine how it looked moments ago. “Yes, I'm ______.” You offered a professional handshake—people liked those.

“I'm Papa Emeritus, the congregation calls me Papa, so please, call me Papa.” He took your hand in his in a way you weren't expecting, lifting it to his lips. You only then noticed his heterochromia as he captured your eyes in his, one eye stark white and the other shifted green to hazel in the rainbow bath of the window.

“Oh, okay,” not missing a beat, you took his leather-clad hand and bowed to kiss the back of it.

He lightly cocked his head as you returned his hand back to him.

“Thought we were just…people don’t return the kiss?”

“No, not usually.”

You nod slowly, “it doesn't seem fair though. Was it… nice anyway? Or are you more give than take? I'm sorry, I'm not sure how to act. I've done religious portraiture, sure, but….”

“Does our church scare you?” He raised his chin and bored into you with his white iris. “It’s not often Sister looks outside the congregation for hire.” His Italian accent brought a musicality to his words.

“Scared? Not really, but you seem….” You gestured around, “like a Pope? Like a lot bigger of a deal than I am qualified for. That’s a big deal,” you point to the elaborate painting your painting would supposedly share a wall with, “that looks like a huge deal,” you address the window. “Just look how I talk, that’s not really.. this..” you floundered with your hands again.

“Big deal, eh?” He relaxed and shrugged a little, “Sister usually knows what she likes, and she likes you, but you are correct; this is a huge deal,” some of his words sounded like growls. It wasn’t temperament, it was animal. His robes billowed as he stepped to take in the stained glass beside you, “do you know the story of Archon the fallen?”

You shook your head and looked up into the eyes of the angel. You couldn't place gender upon them, which was comforting somehow.

“It is said that after the bible age, prophets became obsolete. Who would believe them after all, hum?” He raised a brow at you, his hands clasped behind his back.

You looked away shyly; you didn't mean to oppose his belief system, but you don't get to choose what you believe in, and for you, it was nothing.

“We have newer stories from a war waged between heaven and hell in the after. In this one, the archangel Archon fell to protect what hell believed would be their next weapon. A prince of hell. Atmos.”

“Weapon… That’s a kid.”

Papa Emeritus smiled slightly, “Archon felt the same; as a testament to free will above all else, Archon saw the child their people were fighting to kill and found him blameless. The child was yet to be any kind of weapon. Archon believed no one decides our future so they saved and hid Atmos. Granted him free will to become a weapon or not, and for it, their wings were stripped. Archon stands for the ultimate rebellion, that fate is a lie.” He growled the word ‘lie’ in a way that ran through your gut.

“Mmm, that doesn't seem so scary,” you said softly, looking into the angel’s face for a new perspective.

Papa turned, and you shared a look. You saw a shimmer of the facade you would paint.

Then you blinked, “but I somehow have to create a painting that can share a wall with that.” you flailed a hand at only the most incredible stained glass window ever.

“I am telling you, if Sister thinks you are able, you are more than able. Come, I know a place where you can set up.”

***

“So how would you like to be seen, P-papa?” you stumbled with his name because, honestly, it didn't want to come out of your lips.

His makeup skewed as he quirked his brow at your slip-up. You’d already had him move through poses and had taken photos for him to see. Your mirror was set up, your canvas… The room you were set into was a study—you think. There was a desk, an eclectic collection of skulls and bones, bookcases and an ornate chair. Taken from behind the desk, the chair was something akin to a throne.

“I am unsure what you mean, caro Pittore.” He leaned against the desk beside you and was peering at your phone. He seemed to know how to pose for a picture, but a painting was different; you had to be comfortable with no intricate hand gestures you could not hold for hours. Definitely no arms out.

“Suppose it's for your clergy. How do you want them to see you, powerful, infallible?” You skip past photos taken early on where it seemed he wanted to claw at you through the camera with the golden-tipped fingernails attached to every finger of his leather gloves.

“A storyteller?” you asked simultaneously as he said, “fuckable.”

“What did you say?” He asked.

“I said storyteller, you told me a story out there, I know it's not your whole being, but it's the facade I have of you, and it was nice… I think I know what you said, but run that by me again.”

“I said, fuckable,” he admitted, “inviting, you know? This is a house of sin, si? I want to invite sin.”

You slowly looked up at him from your phone. And blinked. “You want me to paint you a calling card?”

He smiled slowly. “Non?” He said in a particular way that meant he very much wanted you to paint a calling card.

“I can do it,” you suppose, “now how fuckable are we going? I've painted boudoir before, never a religious figure but, first time for everything.” You sat upon the throne and made a boudoir pose. “oh, or this…” you showed off your buns riding the throne backward and looking back at the mirror in your super attractive stained overalls. “Ooo, ahhh, so fabulous.”

“Okay, okay, I see,” Papa chuckled. “Take a couple steps back, a storyteller, huh? You said it is a facade? I’ve been called alotta things, but not storyteller. Books are more the cardinals thing.”

You stop posing, “Yeah, it comes with the job, right? You stand up before mass and tell a proverb, tell what you see in it, add a dash of charisma, and make it alluring; I can’t paint all of you; of course, I can only paint what I see. People are diamonds, multifaceted; this will be one facet or façade—of you.” And you had just gone on a passion rant in front of a new client. You internally grimaced.

He looked into the middle distance in ponder before responding, “I like alluring,” he admitted.

You realised you were just putting on your usual act for your client to make them feel at ease in the space, but he was really looking at you. You realised how you were sitting, realised the silence and moved more meekly away from the throne. “Then take a seat, Papa; make sure you're comfortable.” His eyes were on yours as he passed. His warm shoulder slightly brushed yours as he took his throne. At first, he was just sitting, then looking in the mirror, he arranged his robes, shifting his legs apart to rest a hand on his thigh and lean back in his chair.

“What do you think, caro pittore? Does it say, eh, let Papa tell you a story? Is it alluring? Hmm?”

You felt your ears go pink, “Yes, all of those, but this hand,” the one not welcoming the viewer to his thigh, “it's not really—” He touched it to his chin, and you shook your head, then he touched a finger to his mouth, “still… oooo, skull.” You hurried over and picked up a very human skull. “Something with this.” You passed it over, and he held it in one palm. “Oh, I saw this piece on Pinterest where there was a rosary coming out of it, not that we have to physically do that; I can add that later. But it means I can draw attention to your… ‘not-crucifix’(?)”

“Grucifix,” he quietly corrected, eyes following you around the room as you inspected for props.

“Oh, you learn something new every day… uh, is this important?” Sat on a tall bookshelf was a helmet like the one the man in the hallway had been wearing. You shifted a wall-riding ladder to get a better look.

“It's one of the masks our ghouls wear.”

“Does it seem like something you want to be portrayed with?” You moved your head to watch the sheen before taking it down towards Papa. You wanted to paint the colours of the stained glass window in it.

“I know what to do with it,” You were hyper-aware of his movements as he took his hand away from his thigh and received the mask from you to put it beneath his boot before replacing his hand.

“Uh, not a fan of ‘ghouls’? What are they about anyway? I met…..” you then pulled a straight face knowing what you had to say, “I met ‘Sodo’ in the hallway earlier.”

“I hope he, eh, played nice? I love my ghouls, and sometimes, they love being stepped on. They’re something like the church’s protectors; some help lead our rituals.”

Your brain was left behind when he admitted to stepping on ghouls. “Oh, good. Good, good, good, good, good. Yeah, he played.” You supposed.

“Sodo is… how to put.. eh uno stronzo corto--small and fucking angry,” he laughed sympathetically.

You hadn’t quite got angry from Sodo, maybe a bit cold. You snapped more photos on your phone and were reviewing them when you felt Papa come in close behind to look. He was quite a curious man. For some reason, the incense peeling off his body didn't seem stuffy when it often did for you. You could also smell the leather of his gloves.

“You, uh, like this pose?” He asked about the one your brain decided to stutter on, his voice lower with proximity.

“Yeah,” your voice was faint before returning to yourself, “yes, the background and the lighting just need some adjustment. In the afternoons, we should get some nice lighting through that window; I'll bring some diffusers.. maybe something coloured to mimic the stained glass outside.” You looked up and found him staring at you with his mismatched eyes.

You paused.

He paused.

“I should…”

“You should…”

You weren't about to be caught in another spider’s web. “I should grab my equipment. You’re going to be stuck in that chair for a while… go, you know,” you gestured about, “whatever you need to do, give me an hour or so,” you nodded and gave Papa a sparkly thumbs up.

“hmm, I wasn’t wholly thrilled about Sister making this appointment, but uh, it seems I am changing my mind.”

“Good, we like a willing participant,” you said with all your sparkly masking ignoring the mood he was trying to set. Keep up the energy, keep up the image, keep up the unthreatening. Hide your teeth. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it :3

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 4 months

Note

I’m a straight woman who thinks jimin may be gay/bi but totally independent of jikook or any ship. I don’t think any other members are queer actually but I also don’t follow them as closely as jimin. My oT7 real life army friends are also of this thinking but they are very not online and don’t even know about the jikook taekook stuff lol.

The way I see it, those PJMs who react aggressively to any jimin being queer talks are just overcorrecting for the jikooker stuff that they see is hurting jimin. Idk just my opinion.

I truly don’t care what jimin is I just love his gentleness and strength and kindness and wonderfulness and these qualities you rarely see in cis men, especially ones that rich and famous. He’s so special 🥺

I do ship him with wi hajoon and Charles melton in my head tho 😶‍🌫️

I got into BTS in mid 2017, and only started thinking there was something between jikook in late 2018- early 2019. But even before that, I already thought Jimin wasn't straight.

People who think more than two BTS members are queer are SO DELUSIONAL I CANT STRESS IT ENOUGHHHH. Sometimes I think even two is kind of a reach but it's still a sensible statistic. I actually don't think many idols are queer.

Even for Jungkook, the only reason shippers have to think he's gay is ships 😭 there's not much he does outside of skinship and other BTS related stuff that could be used as proof he's queer. I mean, in the real world. In the world of a kpop fan, wearing a crop top is peak queerness. They're an easy public.

Imagine if Jimin was the one watching and liking tiktoks of a girl showing her thong, or dming female dancers on Instagram, copying her choreography, or constantly interact with a girl group member the way Jungkook did with chaewon. The video inside his apartment, as well. And that's only talking about the recent stuff, because if we go way back there's years of actual evidence of Jungkook having close relationships with women that his same fans would use to shit on Jimin. Even jikookers would think Jimin liking a girl showing her thong was a red flag as to how he's straight. They believe Jimin saying wow during a hwasa performance was peak heterosexuality and bring it up every 3 business days. Makes you wonder why they don't do the same with Jungkook seemingly showing interest on women.

Yeah, a lot of pjms react to strongly because they can't look past the ship or because they don't want others to use "gay" as an insult towards Jimin. But that's not helping any matters.. being called gay never was and will never be an insult, no matter who or why they say it.

I don't care what he is, either. I just have a feeling and that's it. I've had the same feeling about other people all my life and I've always ended up being right lol.

Just a funny anecdote; I think Ashley Benson was my craziest case of impeccable gaydar. I watched the first season of pretty little liars when it came out. I was 14, and while watching the show and the interviews and all, I kept thinking Ashley wasn't straight. A million years ago by, and she ends up dating Cara Delevingne. It was crazy just because of how young I was, and I knew nothing of Ashley except for the show.

In 2019, I was watching an interview of the queer eye cast without knowing anything about them (because that's how I go about when I'm getting into something -trying to get to know it by myself), and while watching I couldn't stop thinking "this one's not gay, he's bi" about Antoni. A few weeks later, I found out Antoni had come out as bisexual.

But you won't see me talking about that stuff because I don't really go around telling people "I think this one's gay", I don't care like that; it's just thoughts that cross my mind, a feeling, a hunch or whatever. If I end up being wrong, it's not a big deal since I was never going to put my hand on the fire for any of it. I'm not scared of being wrong. That and... I know that Jimin is a real person. There's more to him than his sexuality, and it's not the reason I started liking him in the first place.

Yes, he's totally secretly dating wi hajoon and dated charles for like a month in the past. We all saw charles putting his arm on Jimin's back and that can mean only one thing in Korea.

#jimin

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bearded-shepherd · 2 years

Text

Let’s Talk: Is it time to fukin LARP homies?

In minecraft of course... but in all seriousness with a basically illegitimate SCOTUS with the 6-3 loaded in a barrel, shooting down every civil protection we have at the moment, Jan 6 hearings being worse than Watergate, and the growing number of hate crimes recently...

It’s time to know the basics: From Voting to Defense

1) Voting (of course) but not only in the general elections, you should also be aware in the midterms, special elections, primaries, referendums, school board, etc. Talk to your runners and canvas for them if ya can.

[ Check Voting Registration | Check Elections news/updates | Check States’ Voting ID Laws ]

2) Donations, this can be anything ya care for, there are a like hundreds of orgs to donate to. A lot of shit is happening everywhere so please check your sources thoroughly.

does anyone have a donation spreadsheet or something? I would love to share that.

3) Know your neighbors, say a quick hello, take a gander at your surroundings (spot a confederate flag yet? I sure have), lurk on your neighborhood’s facebook page for all I care. Take time to look at your local news or your state’s reddit page. July 4 is coming soon, see which neighbors to lean on in case of emergencies. (Yes this also includes natural disasters).

4) Mindful protesting (no brainer), how to safely protest ya may ask (or not)? You’ve probably seen the protester chart with the Hong Kong protester decked out in all nines.

yep.

5) Resources & First Aid, this is very broad, but it’s resources we should have whether it’s physical or instructional.

6) Protection, ya know this was bound to happen and no this is not some ‘take over the government shtick’, this is to ‘protect your self if some rightoid militia gets antsy and starts parading in their big ass SILVERADO for your upcoming death in your neighborhood’ (:

To reiterate, KNOW YOUR NEIGHBOR(s). If you live in a decently sized town/city, join some communities like your local chapter DSA or SRA or something

[ Democratic Socialists of America | Socialist Rifle Association ]

Tools! I mean why do conservative get to have all the ‘fun’ right?

Yes, Im pro-2nd amendment, Yes I’m down for adequate gun laws, No I do not like open/conceal carry (doesn’t matter if ya have a permit) in public spaces.

Check your state’s weapon laws, sign up for some training, hell take up martial arts/self defense classes. Know what best suits you. If you KNOW that you’re not at the mental capacity to handle a knife, gun, pepper spray, etc then do not get one. If you have someone you deeply and I mean deeply trust with your life, ask them to get proper training and invest in a tool of some sort.

While you yourself can either invest in first aid, body armor (do know that everything has an expiration date), stun flashlight, the lil keychain defense thingy’s | home surveillance, or car surveillance (great for insurance actually).

Great Youtubers to watch for Gun / gun control / gun safety

Tacticool Girlfriend | Beau of the Fifth Column gun/gun control series

For those who say ‘fuck no’ to guns, lemme tell ya about history. If ya really want to get rid of guns, ya want the republican politicians to quiver in their boots knowing that more and more minorities are buying them. Turn the page to section B for the Black Panther party.

#politics #us politics #voting #jan 6 hearings #protesting #first aid #gun rights #first amendment #second amendment #self defense #donations #in minecraft #scotus

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fxntxsix · 2 years

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I think your post about Austin is a little bit of an overreaction. Vanessa’s interview was very fun and talked about the new phase of her life. She had one comment about past relationships, nothing more. And all the announcement of the Priscilla movie would really do is show how influential the Elvis movie is because clearly there is an audience that Austin and Baz capitalized on. Austin’s biggest awards worry right now is Brendan Fraser. Not his ex or Nate from Euphoria.

Okay hold up nonnie imma address this point wise lmao,

About the "overreaction" - yes it could be true that I am overreacting because I have been told by some people who know me irl that I have a flair for the dramatic so I don't put it past myself lmao. But, and I've said this to a few people in my messages about this post, the only reason I wrote 'For Aus' is because all those thoughts were weighing on my mind since yesterday and honestly I just had to get them out in words for my sanity more than the purpose of making a statement.

I really enjoyed the red and green flags video interview she did for the same magazine I though it was adorable and I'm glad she's thriving in her current relationship and some of her recent roles have done tremendously. However, if you read the written article there is more than one backhanded comment about the time when she was dating Austin.

“The public only sees so much. I’ve been through two very long life-changing relationships, and no one really knows what happened except for me. When I write my memoir, it'll be amazing." - like she just butchered her own 'it was a clean mutual break up' narrative because clearly it wasn't as clean as they said it was.

“I woke up at 27 like, ‘I have no idea who I am, what I want, or what I stand for,’” she says. “I realized how much of myself I gave away to others, when I actually was giving away and turning off pieces of myself,” she says. “When you get older, the sexier boundaries are.” - she was very much in a relationship with him at 27

“I always thought I would be married at 25, because that’s when my mom got married, and then when that didn’t happen, I was like, ‘Oh, OK. So we’re just going to shift everything back a bit.'" - again very much dating him at that point but he was 22 so like?????

His concern with Brendan Fraser is healthy Hollywood competition, it's fair and straightforward. With award nominations there's always that kinda competitiveness as there should be so that's okay. My concern is that all the shit seems to be hitting the fan when these actors are doing their BTS Oscar campaigns and I just hope the Academy/other juries can look past all of this to judge him only on his performance because that's all that matters.

As for the actual film, I'm not saying I'm cheesed off that there's a new film (I mean it's Elvis there would have probably been another film at some point anyway), it's the timing. It is straight up disrespectful and wayyyyy too soon. As peers in the same industry, I would've expected Sophia to let 'Elvis' (2022) run its course and maybe wait for at least the award season to pass before making this announcement. That would've been the right thing to do also any movie about anything Presley will gain traction regardless of the timing just because it's association with Elvis so that shouldn't have even been a concern.

AGAIN, to come back to my point of the original post - we all know that Austin is shy and he has been very very open in sharing his insecurities over the course of this press tour. So, I just wish there was a way to check up on him and make sure that he doesn't give in to those insecurities, as someone who gets panic attacks like they're going out of fashion I understand how easy it is to give in to even half a second of doubt. This was just my very long and twisted way of saying I love Austin even though I know he wont ever see this post or any post on here really.

-Fantasia <3

#answered

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papirouge · 2 years

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I just wanted to say to you thank you for introducing FDS to me ☺️

Ireally appreciate places for women to vent and uplift each other in regards to relationship creation and life stability. Red flags and low value behavior is something I’m learning to pick up on and I’ve seen first hand what going 50/50 does. I hope more girls see it too. It can hard to read if you’re used to lib fem stuff force fed to you but you know you’re doing something right when msm is literally telling women to ignore our standards and date sub par men instead of telling men to also uplift themselves to be the best versions of themselves. I want a family in the future but ONLY with a hvm. I want nothing less but the best because my future kids, if I have them, deserve the best father. If it doesn’t happen, then so what, you know? What will be, will be.✌️ we have already seen and read the horrror that comes from being desperate, settling and having babies from a subpar relationship. It’s not worth it. God created animals to seek out the best in mates, pretty sure it is also for us too lol.

You're welcome 🤍

lol your last sentence though I think shoving bio essentialism onto human relationship is peak scrote talking point buuuuuut there's some truth in what you say. Scrote will always argue that men should chase younger ans breedable women bc that's how nature works but they conveniently totally ignore how in the same nature female actually pick the best male mates. Like, ultimately the choice lies to the female and the male has to put up to outstanding assets to hope finding a female partner. But 99% of bio essentialist moids are losers/lvm, so they really shouldn't chose that hill to die on🥴

Yes indeed, you'll have less to lose remaining celibate with no children than picking a bum and struggling all your life with the consequences of picking a bad husband (especially if children are involved). I'll never understand the "you'll end up alone and childless🤪" gotcha scrotes love using against women with standards, when stats are literally showing unmarried/childless women are doing better than unmarried ones💀 (stats also show marriage last longer when spouse marry at an older age🤍) We have everything to win over not marrying.....unless it is with an actual awesome man that will unarguably improve our overall lifestyle. And it's a win win situation considering married men are actually doing better than unmarried ones - but only those worthy deserve this upgrade, sorry not sorry.🤭

Have you seen the story of the woman who ended up having her pregnancy video on a pregnancy porn fetishist website because her husband didn't respect her decision of never putting it on the internet? this one radicalized me. And that's why I'm having less and less patience with anti feminists acting like the concerns of some women about males disrespecting of female boundaries & safety weren't legitimate. I have so many things to say about how many anti feminist tradfem on this website show glaring characteristics of attracting lvcm (the c stands for "Christian" LOL) but that I already called them out enough for that 💅🏾

#check my tradfem tag for more lol #tradfem #answered #FDS #female dating strategy

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weekendswithnewtmas · 3 months

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I need to vent for a sec.

So im involved in an online community of gamers and streamers. I was in a heavily toxic relationship for a little over two years, but i broke it off about a year and a half ago. Unfortunately during that time my ex got involved with these people as well and they're all wonderful, but they've become friends with him and i still have to see him around all the fucking time and it just pisses me off. I don't miss that man at all, it just makes me angry that he did what he did to me, got away with it and they don't know and still hang out with him all the time, sometimes even more than me.

When i tell you this man is fake as fuck, i mean it. He has everyone fooled. He had me fooled for over two years.

He's immature as fuck, would throw temper tantrums when things didn't go his way. If he got upset if any way, even if it wasn't my doing. Like if he was gaming and lost, he would literally not talk to me and ignore me or just completely talk down to me and tell me it was my fault. Even when i had done NOTHING to do with it.

He would gaslight the fuck out of me. Make fun of or mock my choices of music i liked or shows and movies i was into.

Communication was lackluster as fuck, if i didn't text or communicate with him we literally wouldn't talk the whole day. He was also very secretive with his life, and after two years that shouldn't be the case. Im not saying i have to know everything, but barely knowing anything after being with someone for two years is not right.

We were long distance, he never came to visit me once, yet i made the trips to visit him multiple times. Everytime i went out there i had to get a rental car. I also was mysteriously never allowed to stay over at his place when i was there, he always had some excuse as to why i couldn't. I had to either get a hotel or an airbnb which he never offered to help me pay for anything. Not fucking once.

Him and one of our mutual friends who was a girl, i came to find out from her, they would send inappropriate and sexual memes to eachother. She told me this, he never said a word. That was a huge red flag for me, sending stuff like that to someone who isn't your girlfriend? I don't think so. Also they dated immediately after i dumped him, so big surprise there lmao.

The final straw i had was when i didn't hear from him for three days. I had been losing feelings for a while, but was trying to keep this relationship because i cared about him, or so i thought. Looking back i think i was just lonely and didnt want to lose someone who i thought cared about me. So after not hearing from him for over three days, after me sending him several text messages over the days, i ended it. I sent him a detailed message as to what happened and why and how i was feeling and the response i got back was atrocious. (Side note - texting was our only form of communication aside from discord. He said he didn't have Snapchat and never wanted to video call so my options were limited.)

This man gaslight the fuck out of me, tried to blame me and say it was my fault and that i had been the one ignoring him, when on my fucking phone you can clearly see i sent multiple messages with ZERO response. Yet during those three days, this mans was gaming and streaming and showing up in other peoples streams to talk, yet couldn't be bothered to try and communicate with me there either. So i was done.

This man treated me like complete and utter shit and is an immature child who gets upset and throws literal temper tantrums when things don't go his way.

It just irks me still having to see him around and interact with a bunch of my friends and the people I've come to care for, when i know how fake this man is with everyone. His online presence is so completely opposite from how he is in person.

#venting #life #ex #ex boyfriend #toxic relationship #toxic ex

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rocketdive · 1 year

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mcr/bmth report (kinda)

wall of text under cut

also no, this wasn’t we were young fest

queueing so i can think about it later

mcr finally happened after hanging on to those tickets for 2 years

Honestly was not expecting them to be so incredibly good live, idk what i was thinking

i also went to do something on the way to the concert and ran into someone i kinda know

ootd: (when you wanna be a nerd at 6pm, but have an mcr concert to attend at 7:30 pm)

too lazy embarrassed to do emo makeup in public

also fuck when i got to the venue i probably chose the longest line for the loo and the slowest merch line

really wanted to get that bag (and i did)

got a bag for me bag as well

talked myself out of getting a shirt tho

was it worth 1.5 hrs tho

literally was in the merch line for both openers

also me yelling at one of the dudes to get the plastic merch bag XD ...because he was about to refuse it

when i finally found my seat, at least the girl in front of me was totally rocking out / seemed pretty cool even tho we didn’t talk

we didn’t get gerard way’s fashion show (i think???) for my date, but dad hat came out

also i am not used to his speaking voice

Gerard way has some absolutely feral screams

^ an entire mood

He had some programming thing to add microphone effects, which was cool

Also the whole time i was just like…. I’m also in the same room as frank and mikey and ray!!!!!!

(lmao finally seeing thee mikey fucking way in the flesh)

Ray jumping around

Ray kneeling while doing his guitar thing at the end

There was that one song where gerard was trying to get ray to sing along as well

we also sang happy birthday

stoked that we got vampires for that date

Backdrop changed 3 times? There was 1st to curtain drop reveal of the backdrop, and then lights on for the backdrop

ALSO HOLY I DIDN’T REALIZE THE ENTIRE SET WAS 20 SONGS NO WONDER IT FELT SO LONG

didn’t run into my brother’s ex lmaooooo

honestly was kinda saving energy for bmth / made the wrong shoe choice and entered me back hurty time :c

anyhoos

bmth was really good

like REALLY good

i think that might be an understatement

tb very h i enjoyed bmth more than mcr

their video was ON POINT

Like at points they instructed the crowd to form a pit or sit down

"Illegal substances are strictly prohibited, please consume them immediately" (something along those lines)

honestly really glad that my friend was being an enabler / & that i actually went

Was watching some recording of the NY show and they didn’t have confetti to open

Also the confetti was heart shaped (but i couldn’t tell from where i was)

And then red streamer confetti during throne

at some point, oli acquired a light up devil horn headband and he put it on

It also flashed

Oh apparently oli had bloody makeup or something but obvs couldn’t see it

the girl next to me was really cool! and peeps in front of me were totally vibing

Can you feel my heart into happy song is such a mood

Ngl, the newer songs / post that’s the spirit were kinda…weaker with the crowd

Except maybe teardrops? Dear diary? Maybe parasite eve?

Sandpit turtle shadow moses was so good live

Kingslayer was a rave / literally oli calling it a rave song

Also not me and temp concert buddy doing the babymetal parts of the chorus lmaooooooooooo

Accidentally butt recorded most of diamonds

Also wtf they played diamonds

(i cannot remember lyrics part 65431235768767)

Follow me was acoustic

Lgbtq flag ^

Forgot which song towards the end, oli was telling people to get on each other’s shoulders

Mosh pit for knocked loose was just as described/expected

Literally first song starts and their vocalist is calling for a pit

imo, GA went harder in the pit during KL than bmth

i’m going to put “saw kl live and was completely ok” on my resume

ok coz everyone talks about how ridiculously chaotic kl is, to make an analogy in terms of spice tolerance level, -> handling the spice level is not an issue for me, it’s just not a flavor i really like or dislike, but also a flavor that i would be ambivalent about/wouldn’t mind trying again IF it just happened to present itself to me (as in, i wouldn’t go seeking it out, but would be down if it was just readily there)

Honestly the pits during bmth looked weaker than the ones for KL

esp the one where oli was doing the whole “PUSH IT BACK YOU PUSSIES”

(also for the record i did not get a GA/pit ticket because i am a pansy / was recovering from mcr/ I’M GETTING OLD)

i didn’t realize Grandson was so openly political

I think some dude in a wheelchair crowdsurfed during his set?

Siiickbrain had some pretty sick vocals / screams

10/10 would do it again

#mcr #bmth #thank you for coming to my ted talk #where i ramble #A LOT #putting this in the queue so that it pops up when it does

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faewildscalling · 2 years

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Its like a weird limbo to be in having an ex you still have feelings for but don't know what to do with/about them even though they just want to be friends and like you just have to wonder like what do I do with all of these feelings I don't know has that ever happened to you how did you handle it

Personally I do try hard to stay friends with my exes. But I always try to first give us both time to heal and handle our emotions which is different for everyone but maybe hearing some of my experiences will help you. So first off, as I've mentioned before that I'm demiromanctic.

I didn't always know that so my stipulation for dating was that this person had to be my friend for at least 4 months before I'd even consider it cause at the time I figure that would give me time to get to know them. Anyways, since this is a thing I've only had 5 major relationships and 4 minor flirtations. (those were 4 friends who had asked me out a few times and we were kinda close but the romantic feels just weren't there for me.)

My 5 relationships weren't the best to be honest. I can probably chalk up a lot of it into the fact that I didn't grow up with a little of examples of healthy relationships. Mostly all I had to go on was the men my mom dated and that probably was why I lowkey didn't pick the best guys.

So my first 4 boyfriends had done major damage to me. So those relationships ended with me pretty much done with them but being the nice person I am. I gave them a chance to be friends again after months had passed and it was always them reaching out in the first place. But I cannot bring myself to be friends with those 4 as they have gotten worse since the break ups and they hurt me with no remorse. They didn't apologize and honestly don't see the issues that I do. I mean stalking, pathological lying, cheating, and abuse seem like pretty major red flags but that's for a different story.

Number 5 however, It was different with him and honestly if situations were different things may have ended up better between us. When the breakup happened we didn't talk for 6 months because we both were hurt by it but I saw the situation growing toxic and didn't want that for us. After 6 months we reconnected. He apologized and it was still rocky for a bit.

Especially since we both still had strong feelings for each other because the breakup was for our own health than our feelings changing but honestly it was for the best. There we're imes it was confusing to figure it all out. We decided that honestly our friendship was what we missed but not the romantic relationship. We missed our long ass phone calls where we teased each other over dumb stuff and trash talking while beating each other in video games. Or even going on rants about characters in books or tv shows. As we both moved on, we became really close and now we are one of each other's best friends. I actually helped him plan his proposal to his new partner, Who I'm also friends with. So it can work out for sure depending on situations.

So basically with this long ass story what I'm trying to say is look at the relationship before, during, and after to see if a friendship is worth pursuing and my only other advice is if there are still romantic feelings you guys might wanna talk that out. If either if y'all are in a relationship, I also wouldn't be alone with them in a private setting just so there won't be any jealousy or accusations thrown around.

#relationship advice #which is weird coming from an aro #but it is what it is #i hope it helped #anonymous asks #anonymoose

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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Ok but also modern Xiao is the exact type of boy to fall madly in love with a camgirl/egirl.

Like people joke about "beta" dudes and simps being the type to like camgirls and whatnot but from what I've heard from accounts of camgirls, those dudes are the most *vocal*, but the real loyal viewers are the silent ones. Quiet, socially inept kissless-virgin loners that don't have a social life to speak of.

As a camgirl you get a lot of commenters during streams -- there's always dudes who feel the need, for whatever reason, to comment on parts of your body or the acts you perform, or a bunch of simple comments like "hot!!" and, you know, various spammed emojis. And most of the bastards seem to think their comments are worth more than money, since they leave the bare minimum despite all their drooling over you, but that's just how people are.

You do get one, though, that's virtually silent. Almost a lurker, if it weren't for the massive cash drops the guy deposits once per stream and one very short comment. It's very simple, it's always a huge donation, followed by a very simple request for this or that, a request that certainly isn't really worth the insane sum of money you're being given. Worded very plainly, no descriptive language or use of emojis or anything, it's more like "suck on it." or "use that one." Sometimes he alone out-donates the rest of your viewers combined.

Not to mention, he's the sole subscriber to the top tier of that patreon you started. So the mystery guy gets a lot of benefits. A custom 10-minute video per month, for starters. You weren't really certain what else you should put on that tier... So you contact him about it and agree upon sending him something per request every month. He's a gross perv, which you could have easily predicted. Asks for things like used underwear and shirts, lipstick prints on your polaroids, hell, you even fill up a tiny container with saliva once for him. Oh, bathwater too. Gross. But he's paying, so.

And then, he starts asking... For something different. A conversation. You're a bit surprised at first, but he's serious. So you do it. Schedule a thirty minute session, message back and forth. You expected maybe he wanted to say something, but you end up doing 99% of the talking - he just asks simple questions. What do you do when you're not working? What do you do for fun? Do you have any family? Do you have any friends? Essentially an interrogation into your life. It feels like the kind of questions someone would ask on a first date, to be honest. You can't help but feel some pity for the guy if he's so lonely that he's willing to pay for this, so, you let it go a bit over the time limit.

You ask some things in return - he seems to not like talking about himself, quickly turns back around to questioning you, but gives brief answers - You're surprised to learn he's young, and not, well, a gross old dude like you're aware most viewers are. Seems odd, why can't he just go out and meet people? You can't say so directly, it would be rude, but he seems to pick up on the hint from things you say and answers the unspoken question - I'm not good with people.

He's aware of how it all works. He's not a delusional bastard that thinks a girl on the internet actually gives a shit about anything but his money, but... It feels nice. He's... A very lonely person. Never got along well with others, never really had anyone that cared. You're always so sweet in your little messages, you send little heart emojis and smileys and xoxo's in every message you send him, and he knows it's part of the act, but sometimes he does like to pretend it's real. The semblance of kindness and warmth and love. Likes to pretend you're being that sweet because that's how you actually are. Likes to forget that he's living on ramen and has a flat-zero savings balance because he's blowing his grocery money and savings on you. Likes to forget the transaction entirely, pretend there's no money involved. And most importantly, likes to forget you have plenty of other dudes that pay for you.

If he's being honest, he does sometimes let... Fantasies run through his head. Sometimes. But he knows it's dumb. And he feels pathetic about it, really. It's not like he can even hope to get a girlfriend in real life, he can't even remember the last time he talked to a female human being. Or... Anyone, for that matter. He has no friends, he works from home online. To say his social life is empty is an understatement.

Becoming addicted to you is only natural. He realizes he's becoming obsessed, but doesn't see any point in fighting it. You're just so sweet, so nice, and you even take your clothes off too. So he... Kinda starts to lie to himself, intentionally. It's almost kinda like having a girlfriend, isn't it? A... Long distance one. That doesn't know his name, that he probably doesn't know your real name, and has never seen his face, but... Still. It's kinda like that, isn't it? Maybe, just maybe, he can hold a little bit of hope in that dream every dude that ever loves a camgirl has... That somehow, a miracle happens and he has a real chance.

But it occurs to him that even if that's not what fate has in mind, he can make that reality come true.

Perhaps you're desensitized to creepy, given how so many of your followers are, so you make what will ultimately be a mistake. One month he asks for something... Odd. Says he wants to send you something that you should wear in your stream, that's the arrangement for this month. You set up a PO box. Figure it can't lead directly to you that way. It's a t-shirt, rather plain single color. It occurs to you that it's probably one of his, that he'll get off to seeing you wear, but something feels... Off about the whole exchange. Like there's some other intention you don't realize.

See, he's a bit tech savvy and has already well figured out where you live in general, he just wasn't sure which apartment it was, so he waits outside for you to pick up the package and follows you home. What a perfect, utterly unimaginable coincidence it turned out to be - here you could have been separated by oceans and countries and yet, it turned out you two lived in the very same town! Well, you knew that when he sent you his address for mailing, but you were smarter than to inform the guy who spends nearly his entirely salary on a camgirl (let's face it, no one who does that can be a mentally stable person) that you just so happen to live so close together. He realizes you avoided mentioning that realization, but he understands why.

Yes, he understands exactly why you wouldn't tell him, because you know that if he found that out, then he might do exactly what he knows he's going to do.

Also, you seem to be looking over your shoulder a lot more lately. He would know, he counts the number of times you do it every day for the past week. At least when you're outside, he can't see you as well when you're inside your place, even with the binoculars.

Your paranoia is what he thinks about as he goes to the store - walks there of course, so no cameras capture license plates. Wears a hoodie over his head. Self-checkout. Pay with cash, untraceable. Double-bags to make sure no one can see the red-flag combination of acetone, bleach and duct tape.

Yeah, he can't say he blames you, but you started being cautious a little bit too late.

#scheduled post #yan.txt #.camgirl

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no-stabbing-wednesdays · 3 years

Text

The Conspiracy Job

I made a post about the “Eliot’s semi-famous identities” conspiracy here and @what---i-dated-a wanted a fic, which got my muse going. So, here it is, and also on AO3

An amazing version of the same concept by @copperbadge was linked in the notes and I recommend you all read that too! The Job Interview Job

The Conspiracy Job

“Oh, not again!”

The others, busy drawing up plans for their latest con, looked over at Hardison.

“What is it?” Sophie asked.

He brought his display up on the large screen at the front of the room.

“Someone’s just searched a bunch of Eliot’s old aliases, all at the same time.”

Parker frowned as she looked at the screen. “That doesn’t sound good.”

Eliot was on his feet immediately, concern clear on his face.

“Who is it? CIA? FBI? KGB? Mossad?”

“Give me a second,” Hardison said. “No, I don’t think so. They’re not being flagged on any databases. Someone’s just googling them.”

Eliot relaxed slightly and rolled his eyes. “It’s not those damn conspiracy forums, is it? I thought you got rid of those.”

“I did! They haven’t posted anything, they’re just looking. Oh, they’re here in Portland.”

Eliot tensed again at that, but Hardison shook his head.

“Relax, man. It’s a family house; a couple of dentists and a fifteen year old. If they post anything I’ll take it down, nothing to worry about.”

On the other side of Portland, Julia stepped into her friend Marcie’s bedroom and her eyes widened as she took in the scene before her. Marcie was connecting red threads between grainy, printed-out images on her corkboard and empty bottles of Gatorade littered the desk.

“You have to cool it with this, dude.”

Marcie turned to face her, her hair a mess and her eyes red from lack of sleep, and Julia sighed.

“You look like freaking Charlie Kelly!”

“There’s something here, Jules. I’m sure of it.”

“It’s a couple of athletes and a singer who happen to look similar. It’s hardly the scoop of the century.”

“Look similar? Look similar? Julia, they are completely identical! There are exactly three possibilities.” She held up three fingers in her friend’s face as she counted them off. “Triplets, clones or one ridiculously talented guy.”

“Okaaay, and which one do you think it is?”

“I don’t know,” Marcie answered, turning back to her board. “Triplets? Why would they have different names and hide it? One guy? He’d have to be able to sing and play guitar, baseball and hockey. Why wouldn’t you own up to having that kind of talent? Why go to different places with different names? Clones? I’m leaning clones.”

“Clones? Come on, Marcie.”

“It’s the most logical explanation.”

“You think someone cloned a human being just to create a one-hit-wonder country singer and some short lived athletes?”

Marcie shrugged. “It could be a trial run or an experiment or something. And you remember that anything I ever said on the forums would mysteriously vanish? I went to look after Jacques Labert turned up and every single forum post was gone! Every one! Doesn’t that sound like a government conspiracy to you?”

“It’s weird,” Julia admitted. “But I think you might be taking this a little too far. If the government were making clones, why would they let them get famous so people could discover it?”

“But they weren’t that famous. Think about it, what were the chances that someone would connect them? There were only ever a couple of us posting on the forums. If I hadn’t happened to be visiting my uncle in Palmerston when Roy Chappell was playing and then gone to Saddle and Spurs for my birthday, I’d never have known.”

Her eyes widened as a horrifying thought occurred to her . “Then Jacques Labert turned up in my city! What if I’m the connection?”

She swung back to the board and began to write her own name. Julia grabbed her hand.

“Marcie! You’re not the center of a government conspiracy! Besides, who’s this fourth guy again?” She asked, tapping one of the photos in the corner. “You didn’t have anything to do with him, did you?”

“No,” Marcie conceded. “And I told you about him, remember? He’s an animal rights activist who was on the news in San Lorenzo a couple of years ago, talking about dog fights in the Presidential Palace. And he’s Canadian. That’s why it’s so exciting that, after almost two years of nothing new, Jacques Labert, Canadian hockey player, suddenly appears. Was the guy on the news Jacques Labert? If there really is more than one of them in the first place!”

Julia grimaced, increasingly worried about Marcie’s obsession with this wild conspiracy. “He was on the news where?”

“San Lorenzo. It’s this tiny European country. Here look.” Marcie sat at her desk, tapped the name into Google and turned her laptop towards Julia.

Julia scrolled through a few pictures of the idyllic Mediterranean island, then stopped suddenly and pointed at one of them.

“Wait, who’s that?”

“Oh, that’s Rebecca Ibañez. It’s a tragic story,” Marcie explained, as she clicked on the link and showed her some clearer pictures. “A couple of years ago, the same time maybe-Jacques Labert was there, there was an election and her fiancé won. But, just as the results were announced, supporters of the former president tried to assassinate him and Rebecca stepped in front and took the bullet for him.”

“She was assassinated?”

“Yes, isn’t it awful?”

Julia shook her head. “She can’t have been.”

“What?”

“She’s my brother Zachary’s acting teacher.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I went to see his play last week and I met her. Her name’s Sophie Devereaux and she’s definitely not dead.”

Marcie looked at her in amazement, a grin breaking out across her face . “And she was in San Lorenzo at the same time as Jacques-Roy-Kenneth! There might be even more to this than I thought!”

Julia, almost as invested as Marcie now that her brother’s odd director was mixed up in this, pulled up a chair and looked on excitedly as her friend brought up another google search.

Back at the Brewpub, the crew were working out the kinks in their plan while waiting for any sign of the internet sleuth trying to share their ideas about Eliot’s multiple identities.

When the computer pinged again, they all turned to see which of his aliases had been flagged this time, only for their eyes to widen in horror as the search term flashed on the screen.

“Rebecca Ibañez” “Sophie Devereaux”

Sophie gave a gasp that almost turned into a choke. “Wha- wha- what?”

Eliot turned to Hardison, furious. “Oh sure, just dentists and a teenager! Fix. This.”

“I’m trying!” Hardison said. “I can’t find any connections to anything. They look clean.”

“Then look harder!”

Wait, I have something. It’s the kid’s computer.”

“Who’s the kid?” Nate asked.

Hardison pulled up a Facebook page. “Marcie Taylor. She’s a sophomore. She used to post on those stupid Eliot forums that I had to take down every week after Memphis. It was pretty harmless, but I’ve no idea why she’s suddenly looking at Sophie’s aliases.”

He scrolled down the page looking for any kind of hint, when Sophie called out to him to stop.

“Who’s that with her? She looks familiar.”

A few more clicks and Hardison had a name.

“Julia Gutmann. She’s in the same class.”

Gutmann?” Sophie groaned. “I know why she’s familiar. That’s Zachary’s little sister.”

“Zachary? Your acting student Zachary?” Nate asked disbelievingly.

“Yes, she came to our play last week.”

Nate shook his head. “I told you to use an alias at that theater.”

“But I wanted to do this as me,” Sophie protested.

Eliot turned back to Hardison. “So, let me get this straight. The aliases and digital trail that you set up to be uncrackable by international governmental organizations are about to be blown apart by a couple of high schoolers?”

Hardison glowered at him. “They’re only looking at old aliases and they were all burnt when we had to leave Boston anyway. It’s not that bad.”

“Sophie’s still using Sophie,” Eliot argued, nearly yelling now. “And I was only just Jacques Labert and in this city. Now they’ve tied me and her together. How did they even do that? That’s way more than some fifteen year old girls should be able to accomplish on Google.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t panic. They were looking at photos of San Lorenzo. That’s how they found a picture of Sophie."

Sophie glared at him.

"Hey!" he protested. "You're the one who jumped in front of the cameras! I can't control the entire internet you know, and I think the people of San Lorenzo would have noticed if every image of their martyred heroine suddenly vanished.

“It’s just bad luck that Julia had met you. But why were they looking at…” Hardison groaned. “They found that video of Eliot and the puppy somehow.”

“Why didn’t you take that down?” Eliot snapped.

“It’s a thirty second feature on the news from two years ago in a country smaller than Iceland! It wasn’t my top priority!”

“Dammit, Hardison!”

“So, our cover’s going to get blown by kids?” Parker asked, incredulously.

“No,” Nate insisted. “Well, maybe. But we can manage this. Hardison, don't let them post anything. Sophie, call Zachary. Let’s go steal ourselves some silence.”

#leverage #eliot spencer #the eliot conspiracy #alec hardison #parker #sophie devereaux #nate ford #leverage fic #my fic #this is basically crackfic #purely dumb but hopefully entertaining

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warmau · 3 years

Text

☆ko-fi au: rich kid!au inseong other rich kid aus: hongseok | hyungwon | haechan

you should have known something was wrong when your date didn't send you the address for the restaurant you two were going to meet at for the first time

instead opting for an expensive and suspicious-looking black car that makes itself a nuisance in front of your apartment building

you stare at it from the door and beside you is your neighbor, a busybody office worker named dawon, who holds his mail in one hand and twists his mouth up into a frown

"i wouldn't get in that car if i were you."

"it looks like it's a bmw"

"this date of yours is starting to look like a psychopath."

you roll your eyes, but the sentiment isn't lost on you

who has the money to rent this kind of car? all for a dinner date?

you look at your phone where there's a text from your date, kim inseong, who you met through one of those online dating apps you had sworn you'd never use

but with the years passing by and your friends all gushing about the fountain of love and relationship

you had caved

actually, you had caved after a particularly teary-eyed solo re-watch of breakfast at tiffany's

not that you really cared about the plot or anything - just that the fantasy of being loved and taken care of for the rest of your life - well

whatever, the point was you had made a profile and you had matched with inseong

you were initially worried about him being a catfish - the one unnormal thing on his profile was the fact that he was gorgeous

but a video chat had melted those doubts away

still, this car and this secret reservation was starting to raise red flags

"im taking down the license plate number"

dawon says and you re-read the text from inseong again

'are you sure you can't just tell me the address of this place? i can take the train'

'don't worry, the car will get you there faster and the hostess knows the driver so you won't have any issues with the reservation'

you slip your phone into your pocket, suddenly aware that all you're bringing is it and your keys

dawon is furiously taking photos of the car now and you tell him it'll be ok

he asks before you go out to the car, "what's this guys name?"

"kim - kim inseong."

dawon's eyes go wide and he gapes, you tell him to stop fooling around as you wave goodbye

just as the door shuts, you don't hear dawon go

"that kim inseong?"

the driver is quiet but polite and you try to overcompensate with your manners and not pester him about where you're going

the inside of the car smells of new leather and there isn't a speck of dirt or evidence of anyone else being in here but you

the city's winding streets and lights both distract and worry you and you nervously tap on the dating app to see inseong's profile again

a mirror selfie is the first picture, he's smiling and looks like he might be in a fancy hotel bathroom somewhere

the next picture is him and a couple of what you assume are work buddies

the next is him at a bookshop, wearing pretty framed glasses that compliment the shape of his face

his interests are artsy and he says he works in photography

he's a cancer and he likes ballads and doing puzzles

his profile is pretty generic, you don't want to be vain but you'd matched with him because he was totally hot, but also after talking you'd come to realize there was more

he was definitely witty, charming, and didn't ever send you the kind of messages you had heard horror stories about

(three am hookups or requests for pictures of your feet)

you close the app, just as the driver parks the car and you expect to get out at some small, but cute italian place

or at most somewhere more new and stylish that might have been mentioned in a magazine

you do not think you're going to stop in front of one of seoul's most high-end restaurants

the kind of place that looks like it should be a palace - high rise ceilings and huge fountains and a line of hopeful socialities waiting around the corner praying someone miss their reservation

the driver comes around to your side, opening the door and suddenly you look down and think

im not dressed for this place, hell im not a person made for this place

you step out and he motions for you to pass the line, up the stairs and into the huge doors

as soon as the hostess sees him she shoves forward a lanky looking valet boy and sends you a big, red-lipsticked smile

"ah, you're mr. kim's date. come with me - he's in our private dining room."

you feel like a newborn animal walking on shakey legs as you follow her, you walk past the first level of dinners who are seated at elegant looking tables in low light

there's a hum of talking and the sound of someone pouring wine

you look for inseong, but don't see him anywhere

the hostess leads you to an elevator at the back - and when it arrives she motions for you to go inside and tells the person inside that you'll be going to floor nine

turns out the entirety of floor nine is one big dining room, adorned in gold and red and at the table right before one of the huge windows is inseong

you can't think of a word to say - not even when his eyes light up to match the chandeliers and he stands up from his seat to greet you

"inseong"

you squeak and he says your name prettily like it's the name of a flower

"inseong - " you repeat and look at him with eyes like saucers "is this some kind of practical joke?"

the look of happiness on his face dims

"w-what?"

"where are we, this place of town is for millionaires - stars, i can't afford to eat here! i probably can't even afford to breathe the air here! if this is your idea of a fun prank date then im going to-"

you throw your hands up, fussing so much so that the waiter who had wanted to come over stops in their tracks

inseong looks at you and for a moment there's hurt in his expression but then something else dawns on him

"you didn't know?"

you shake your head - "how would i have known that this is some elaborate joke! i knew those dating apps would end up embarrassing me-"

"no, i mean you don't know who i am?"

your hands swing down to your sides and you look at him almost stupidly

"well, you're kim inseong."

"yes."

he motions to the photographs that line the red-painted wall, all framed and featuring famous models and public figures

they look vaguely familiar, as if you seen them multiple times on the covers of magazines or newspapers

"im kim inseong, the photographer of seoul"

a blankness coats the room and then, like a rubber band, it snaps into place

the magazine covers, the job title 'photographer' on his profile, and now the inseong standing in front of you in head to toe gucci

you step back like you've just been approached by a dangerous-looking beast

hands flying up to your mouth

"oh my god - you're famous and-"

he grins, "and rich."

somehow you sit down, probably because the news hits you like a truck and you can't stand any longer

it's enough time for inseong to wave the waiter over safely and order wine for the two of you as well as an appetizer in french that glosses over your head

he looks at you and folds his hands under his chin

"i thought you knew."

"why is a millionaire like you on a dating app for plebeians"

he shakes his head, "you're not a plebeian"

"im pretty sure my yearly salary is the same amount as one of your cameras."

he looks down at his wine and swallows, suddenly the air of glowing confidence and ease shrinks

"you're right. it's silly of me to say i wasn't trying to act a little bit below my status by joining the app."

you straighten in your seat

"i - i didn't mean it like that, i mean rich people still want love im sure - i mean you're a normal person."

"normal?" he flicks his gaze to you "no one has ever called me that."

great, here i am putting my foot in my mouth in front of one of seoul's most eligible bachelors

"i mean - i just. ok i mean you're not 'normal' in your field of work but you want to feel a connection right. that's why you joined the app - just like me. you just want someone in your life."

you don't notice the little smile that tugs at the corner of inseong's long lips

your appetizer arrives and you are offput by the amount of truffle on it

inseong tells you to look at the menu and order anything you like and as much of it as you want to

one look at the price and you tell him you'll pass, you'll get mcdonalds on your way home

"please don't worry, it'll go on my bill"

he insists and you cross your arms

"this is our first date, we go dutch. i can't have you treating me if im not even your partner yet"

inseong bites his tongue not to laugh at the simple way you look at everything

"fine, well then." he closes the menu and snaps his fingers, within a moment a man arrives at his side - you assume it's his assistant "let's got to mcdonalds together."

you think he's being funny, but he's not

you find yourself in the second expensive car of the day. this time it's a slicked silver lamborghini that inseong drives with an almost alarming carelessness.

he seems to have forgotten how to order at a drive-through and so you have to lean over his lap to speak for the both of you

as you put in the order, inseong flushes and tries not to look at the areas of your shirt that have slide up as you hang out of the window

when you sit back you grin at him

"i hope you like chicken nuggets"

inseong does, so much so that he eats his and puppy dog begs you for one of yours

you both sit in his car and you try not to spill anything, but inseong says not to worry about being careful. he has another car (or five) that he can use if you stain the seat with your sprite

but aside from that you ask inseong more about his life

you had briefly chatted before you met, but now there was a treasure trove of new information about him to unlock

the weird thing is that you just genuinely want to know

inseong picks up on it, you have no ulterior motive. you haven't had one since you found out who he really was.

you nibble on a fry as you ask, "so are you traveling these days for work?"

"usually. when we video chatted i was in denmark."

you stick your tongue out

"denmark! what a show off, my last vacation was a two hour train ride outside of seoul."

"well - where do you want to go?"

you gather your garbage and his neatly, inseong finds the normal gesture pangs something in his heart

"hmmm i think i would want to go someone really warm. like brazil or chile."

"are you free this weekend?"

you blink and turn to look at him

"are you asking me on a second date?"

he puts a hand on the wheel and nods

"yes."

"well - i am free actually.......but if we go on a date let's not do anymore uptight restaurants."

he promises he won't and instead he says he'll pick somewhere comfortable and fun

you try not to get bashful when he says your photos do you no justice - you should let him take your portrait next time too

and although he drives you home in his car, you are aware of the black car you arrived in following close behind

when he stops in front of your apartment you turn and mumble that you had a good time, after the heart attack-inducing revelation of his identity

inseong laughs and you straighten your shoulders slightly

he notices the way you position yourself slightly and he turns to you too. suddenly the look in his bright eyes dulls just a bit as he lingers from looking into your eyes to your lips

you decide to be brave - closing your eyes as an invitation

inseong's smile is soft against your lips when he leans in

nothing more than that happens and you blurt out that you'll look forward to the next date, inseong watches you scurry inside your apartment before letting out the breath of nervousness he's been holding

never thinking you would give him butterflies he hasn't felt since he was in high school

when you get home - dawon is knocking on your apartment in five minutes

and you two spend an hour going through inseong's photos again as dawon points out that "how could you not know he's rich, he's wearing a 100k watch in this bathroom selfie!"

you tell him you're just dumb, or maybe just charmed by who inseong is rather than his money

dawon doesn't believe it but he asks when your second date is and you say this weekend

"where is he taking you?"

you giggle, "he said somewhere comfortable and nice! maybe we'll go to a market or something."

the weekend comes and. inseong has bought you two private jet tickets to brazil.

such is the world of dating a rich kid.

#rich kid au #sf9 scenarios #sf9 au #inseong scenarios #inseong au #sf9 imagines #inseong imagines #kim inseong #sf9 #inseong x reader #sfw #ko fi commissions

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httpsaiki · 3 years

Note

Congrats on 300 love! I don’t think I’ve requested something yet from you even though I love your writing! Anyway, could I request a fic where Teruhashi and the (fem)reader are dating(usually I don’t mind what pronouns the reader has but for this one it’s kinda relevant. But you can make it gender neutral if you want)? So the two have been dating for a few months. The reason Teruhashi entered this relationship wasn’t because of “love” but because she wanted to get her fans off her back and what better was to do that than enetering a relationship with another girl. She this that it may help get her male fans off her and at first it’s great. Then the reader starts to see the relationship declining. At first Teruhashi was sweet and kind but now she is kind of rude to the reader, saying things like how she is embarrassing her or that if Teruhashi is so perfect why isn’t her s/o capable of being that way too. Mean ik (I don’t like Teruhashi if you couldn’t tell), the reader is also dealing with comments from her fans saying that the relationship is a charity case and such so she is feeling horrible in the relationship. A fight happens between the two and mean stuff is said. They break up and the reader isn’t taking it well. Not because she is upset she isn’t in the relationship cause she is happy to be out but because of the backlash from fans. Seeing this either Kuboyasu (jabjshsk I love him sm) or Saiki (love him too) comfort her and they begin to hang out more till they start to date. The two are now in a healthy and loving relationship and the reader gets to see what that feels like and how that wasn’t what she had with Teruhashi... I really just write this whole fic out lmao. I was going to write it but I’m simply lazy and I wanted to request something from you. As always ignore this or change anything if you don’t like it an take your time please don’t rush or stress yourself out. Ily hun❤️❤️

Hi!! Thank you so much <3! I wanted to say that I adore this request and honestly was ready to drop everything to write it, what an amazing idea you have here! I’m worried I focused a little too much on the Teruhashi part but, man, I’m a sucker for angst so it was a lot of fun. I think I may have gone a little overboard, as I don’t think I’ve written something this long before. I’m sorry if it’s wrong or not quite what you wanted. Thank you so so much for this request, I love it!

Small edit: I forgot to add I picked Saiki for this, as I think I write him a bit better than Kuboyasu!

— Reader is female! Warnings for slight angst, break up, fighting.

WC: 3041

Italics are Saiki “speaking” telepathically.

Teruhashi is the perfect pretty girl, on the outside at least. —————————————————–

“So, what I’m trying to say is… Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” Teruhashi asked on the rooftop one fateful evening after school. She looked as gorgeous as ever, trying to hide her slightly blushing face as she avoided your eyes. The wind was blowing gently through her hair, causing it to sway ever so slightly to one side. The sun was setting behind her, giving her an even more angelic glow to her appearance. You said yes, of course, how could you not? It was magical, especially when it was from the world’s prettiest girl. There was no way you could reject her.

The perfect couple. That’s how it appeared to be. For some time, that’s even how it was.

Teruhashi Kokomi. Your stunning, admirable, and perfect girlfriend. She’s amazing. A few months ago when she asked you to be her girlfriend you were exhilarated. The thought of dating what many considered to be the perfect girl was a chance you knew you just couldn’t pass up. All the time spent with her felt like cloud nine, she made sure you were happy no matter what, and of course, you tried to do the same for her. Her reputation truly held up, even in private.

Over those months, it amazed you what a wonderful girlfriend she was, having seemingly endless affection and love for you. It felt like she was more in tune with your emotions than you’d ever been. She was always ready to listen to your problems, whether you just wanted to vent or needed solutions. She was such a giver in the relationship that you even felt a little bad about it.

She knew that, but she’d never tell you. Not yet, anyway.

So many precious memories flashed through your mind as you thought about her. From getting ice cream on hot summer days to study dates amid a cold, snowy winter (where there wasn’t as much studying as there was cuddling). All the late nights you had spent with her, talking about everything and yet nothing. Video calls at the bright and early hours of the mornings just so she could get your opinion on what she should wear for the day. Every little thing you did together seemed as perfect as Teruhashi herself.

So where had it all gone wrong?

The relationship seemed like it was going great. What happened? What had you done wrong? Recently, Teruhashi had been acting anything but herself. She’s been aggressive, rude, and not interested in anything to do with your relationship at all. She’d avoid you, ignore your calls and texts. When she did see you, she’d throw insult after insult your way, blaming you for problems that were far from in your control, ones that her in her life, not yours. But that wasn’t even the half of it.

What made it even worse? That was only in private. In public, whenever she was with you (or without) she put on her little show of being Miss Perfect. You don’t know how you didn’t see through it before, looking back it was so obvious how fake it was. While in public you were sometimes able to convince yourself she still loved you, clinging onto a desperate hope that things weren’t nearly as bad as reality would tell you. Maybe she was just having a rough time? Her life must be hard, with the constant stalking and fans harassing her along with the need to keep everything in her life completely in order. She must just be tired of it and need somewhere to vent her anger. You didn’t mind being that person, but just not like this. You couldn’t always expect her to be perfect, and you hadn’t. You did your best to make it clear to her from the start that you didn’t need her to be perfect all the time and that you’d be there no matter what. If she wanted to relax in private with you, she was more than welcome to. She never did.

You had it rough, too. Her fan club was constantly harassing you as well. They called you names worse than she did, and had gone to extreme lengths just to get you to break up with her. They stole your things, drew on your desk, and were all-around horrible towards you. They claimed the only reason Teruhashi was dating someone like you was that she pities you, Teruhashi could do so much better. Deep down, you knew that may be the case, but she still asked you out for a reason, right? You never once complained about it, nor told Teruhashi. It would be okay in the end, and being with her was worth it.

Looking back, the red flags were there from the start. It would’ve been better if you caved to the fan club’s wishes from the beginning.

Your arguments seemed to only get worse with time. Insults being thrown your way more than once a day. During a particularly bad argument, she expressed how she felt she was the only one keeping the relationship alive, the only one that truly cared. For the first time, you fought back.

“How could you say such a thing! I do my best for you, I’m sorry we can’t all be Miss Perfect! I try so hard and yet it’s never good enough, is it?” You yelled in frustration, your voice was a lot louder and far more powerful than you intended. Teruhashi was visibly taken aback, despite her constant berating, you had never once raised your voice at her. She paused for a moment, clearly to think. You could easily tell just what she was thinking about.

You had no idea she’d been keeping track of everything you told her. Well, you did, but you never imagined your insecurities would be used against you in the way Teruhashi has been. Screaming them, bringing them up to your face, and forcing you to face them without warning. Using them to insult you, making them worse, and letting them dig deeper into the back of your mind.

Her face contorted in anger, even angrier than before. Listing things “wrong” with you as if her life depended on it, Teruhashi began her angry ranting. She wanted to get it across to you that she’s perfect and you’re far from that. She listed everything you’d ever done that irked her, every annoying thing you’ve said, and every problem you’ve ever told her about. She mocked emotions you’d told her in confidence and confessed that she always found them dramatic and ridiculous. She expressed how embarrassing it was to be seen in public with you, how she should only be seen with people on the same level as herself. If that wasn’t enough, she dealt one last finishing blow.

“I never loved you anyway.”

She turned and she left, slamming the door to your house shut behind her.

Your mind went blank and you barely noticed your knees hitting the floor as you collapsed to the ground. You didn’t realize you were crying until you felt the tears soaking into your shirt. You couldn’t see nor hear, everything around you felt numb and dark. Did she really mean all of that? There was no way you were that bad of a girlfriend to her.

Why did you still not want to break up?

Days passed and you still hadn’t left your bedroom, let alone your house. Your phone was blown up with texts from your friends, asking if you were sick. You learned from glancing at a few of the messages that Teruhashi had told them that. Reading her name hurt, it made you feel ill as you remembered what had happened a mere few days ago.

Your phone dinged once again. You reached out and grabbed it with a weak grasp, not having the energy to do more than the bare minimum. The name on your screen made a wave of nausea come over you, the content of the message not helping either.

From: Kokomi♡

I’m coming over.

You really needed to change that contact name. That wasn’t what was important, though. Why was she coming here? What else could she possibly need from you, and what on earth else could you possibly offer? You didn’t have much time to think about it, you needed to appear at least somewhat put together by the time she got here.

Your hair was just finished drying as you pulled on clean clothes. You made sure the entrance and living room areas of your house were clean, along with the kitchen. The knock at the door sounded so familiar, Teruhashi always knocked the same way. It sent chills down your spine. Pulling on the best neutral face you could muster and forcing your legs to move, you opened the door.

She looked different. There was no glow to her anymore. She’d never looked less like an angel in your eyes. Even compared to when she’d been yelling at you. It was jarring, almost like she’s a total stranger. It’ll make talking to her easier, you mused.

You wordlessly invited her in, stepping aside as she avoided eye contact and made her way to sit in the living room. Even once you were sat in front of her, she still wouldn’t look at you. You couldn’t tell if that was because she felt shame or disgust. You just hoped it wasn’t the latter.

“What do you need?” You started the conversation, keeping your voice as steady as you could muster. You were quite impressed with how well you were doing.

“We need to break up.” She stated, still not looking up. You rolled your eyes.

“As if I’d stay with you after that.” You spit out, trying to keep your words from sounding too venomous. A moment of silence, you could feel your heartbeat quicken in your chest. The nerves were starting to get to you and one of you needed to say something before the panic could set in. Luckily, Teruhashi did.

“They were right, you know - the fan club?” She said quietly.

“What?” You were surprised, she knew about that?

“It was like a charity case. I only dated you to get them off my back. Didn’t work though. Shame.” Her voice was calm, way too calm to be saying something so harsh. She was fine just ending your relationship like that, no matter what you’d been through together.

“Oh... of course.” She really had never loved you. You were just a tool she could use to escape the mindless drones that claimed to support her. So it all had meant nothing. It was just too good to be true.

She stood and wordlessly left, walking out of your life for good. Good riddance.

Your pain was only beginning to set in. You couldn’t care less that she broke up with you, you were miserable dating her anyways. No, the hardest part was you would be truly alone now. You knew once word got out that she broke up with you the whole school would blame you. There’s no way their perfect pretty princess could do wrong. It hurt to think about it, you’d probably lose your friends over this. There was one person, though, just maybe one person you could talk to.

Saiki Kusuo. An average looking boy, he didn’t stand out much. You had been friends with him months ago before you dated Teruhashi but she forced you to stop talking to him when you started dating. You never understood why, but she eventually told you that it’s because she used to like him before she got with you and she found it awkward for you to talk to him. You understood. The guilt ate you alive, but you complied. From that day on, you’d never again spoken a word to him.

You could tell just by looking at him he wasn’t like everyone else. He didn’t fawn all over Teruhashi when she entered a room and maybe that’s what drew you to him right now. He’d be the perfect friend, someone that wasn’t obsessed with her. You just hoped he’d forgive you.

“Hey, Saiki?” You asked, shyly walking up to him. He glanced up at you, an uninterested expression plastered on his face. He wasn’t visibly upset by you, but that only made you more nervous. You have no idea what he’s thinking. Realizing he wasn’t going to reply, you continued talking.

“I was just wondering if you’d be willing to have lunch with me. I-I know we haven’t spoken in a while but there are some things I’d like to clear up.”

Saiki knew exactly why you stopped talking to him. He wasn’t going to blame you for that, either. It wasn’t your fault. Sure, he was a little upset about it, you were someone whose presence he actually could tolerate. You were nice to talk to, mainly because you knew when was a good time and when to stop. Traits Saiki greatly admired and appreciated in a person. He might have even liked you a little.

He wasn’t about to let you go. Not as easy as the first time. “Sure.”

His response was curt and blunt, but you couldn’t help the small smile that graced your features. It was your first genuine smile in months. Maybe the whole world wouldn’t be completely against you.

“Thank you.” You stated simply, turning to sit back in your seat. It seemed like such a meaningless thanks, but Saiki knew there was more behind it than that.

Lunch came quickly enough and before you knew it you were eating under a tree with Saiki. You explained everything that happened over the last couple of months, how awfully you’d been treated behind the scenes. You apologized more than necessary for abandoning Saiki, trying to convey that you didn’t want to, but your ex-girlfriend had somewhat forced you to.

Saiki was forgiving, and far more understanding than he needed to be about the situation you were in along with the one you found yourself in now. Deep down, he was happy to have you back. Even if you weren’t super close before, he wanted to help you feel better and get over the torturous relationship you had just left.

So Saiki was there for you. The little lunch meets becoming a daily occurrence and he did his best to keep the Teruhashi fan club away from you. Talking to Saiki felt different, it was like he was genuinely listening and cared about what you told him. He was eager to help and aided as much as he could in your recovery.

Weeks passed as the routine kept up. On the weekends you’d meet for dessert and studying. Everything you did with Saiki felt right, it felt safe and healthy. You hadn’t realized how suffocating your old relationship was - even during the good days.

It wasn’t until Saiki asked you out and you said yes that you truly experienced what being loved felt like. It was late, well after the sun went down. Saiki had snuck into your house, claiming that his parents were being annoying but you knew that was a cover for the fact he missed you. There was no way they were awake these early hours of the morning. He saw your tired face under the dim light that peaked in from your window, as you woke up from his sudden appearance in your bedroom. Saiki felt a small rush. He needed to tell you. Now.

“Y/N” He spoke.

“Saiki?” The confusion was evident in your voice, “You spoke?” You were clearly tired after being disrupted from your sleep. Never having heard him speak before wasn’t helping with your state.

“Yeah.” He whispered, reaching a hand out to brush the hair out of your eyes, letting it linger on your cheek. It was a little more than platonic, just like the look in his eyes.

“I really like you, Y/N.” He whispered once again, so quiet you almost didn’t hear it.

But you did. Your eyes shot open, blinking a little in surprise. There was no way he just said that, you must be dreaming. There was no way this pink-haired boy that made you feel more than anyone else ever had was standing in your bedroom, at four o’clock in the morning saying he likes you.

You sat up, “You really mean that?” It came out without you intending it to. It probably sounded rude, but you were far beyond the point of being awake enough to care.

“Yeah.” He said, a small chuckle coming out, “I do.”

You didn’t say anything, all you did was slide back on your bed, making room for Saiki and open your arms. He took the hint and made himself comfortable next to you. He let out a small sigh, doubting he’d be able to sleep like this despite his relaxation. He wanted to protect you for as long as he could. He stared at you, probably a little more than he should. Saiki couldn’t help it, his eyes wouldn’t leave your form. You looked like you belonged in his arms, or so he thought. He was having a hard time processing his happiness at your figure in his arms. It had always been you, he was well aware of that now.

“You still awake?” he asked, going back to his telepathic communication. You mumbled a small yes, prompting him to continue talking. “Thank you,” he started, “for asking me to sit with you at lunch that one day. For coming back to me.”

You let out a tired giggle, “You missed me.”

“I did.” He felt you tense when you said that as if you were shocked to hear it. That didn’t surprise him, he had his doubts you were told you were cared about enough, especially in your last relationship.

Looking down at you once again, he realized you’d fallen asleep. A smile grew on his lips as he made a silent promise to show you what real love feels like. He’d cherish you to the moon and back. It’s what you deserve and he was going to give it to you.

#the disasterous life of saiki k #saiki no psi nan #saiki k #saiki kusuo #saiki k x reader #saiki kusuo x reader #saiki #teruhashi #kokomi teruhashi #kusuo saiki #kusuo saiki x reader #my writing

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slutfornat · 3 years

Text

The New Black Widow // Y.B

prompts: “Why didn’t you take up the mantle?” OR “The world’s a crazy place right now.”

wordcount: 893

This is for @onlyjamesbarnes 1.5k writing contest which for those that want to join you will find the details on their page and under the tag #onlyjamesbarnes 1.5k challenge also congratulations on 1.5k. it's only a headcanon that bucky is Jewish so don't attack its based off something I saw in a tik tok video.

Just so you know, sorry, for not doing it under the cut but I write on my phone so I don't get that option.

It had been a while since Natasha got in contact back in 2016 but then it all stopped after the blip had happened. You grew up in the Red Room so after you were freed, you and Yelena had moved in together.

For the two of you it was always more of a flirty platonic kind of relationship which is why you'd always laugh when people would ask if you were dating especially since she'd come out as aromantic just before the blip.

After coming back the two of you, no longer lived together for obvious reasons including the fact you'd moved somewhere else since she'd 'died' five years prior.

You see Valentina walk off, leaving Lena to stand there whilst looking at the headstone of Natasha. In the time you'd known Nat, she had become a mother figure for you.

She would've been 40 next year which is what upset you because the two of you would talk of going to this restaurant she never got the chance to go to and it was going to be for her 40th birthday.

You felt bad for Yelena, she'd missed five years and it seemed like everyone had just moved on without her which could be true for you as well from your time in the red room with all the other Widows.

"What were you talking to her about?" you ask, walking towards Yelena as she turns to you with a small grin, "revenge on clint barton. Wanna join?"

"Well, I better check my schedule but I think I'm free some point in the foreseeable future if it has anything to do with Nat's death but I have got a bit of business with these flag-smashers to deal with first" you answer, calmly with a slight smirk at your friend.

"Good or bad business?" she asks, just as her dog, Fanny comes pouncing over to you two. "Okay, y'know the super soldier serum? Karli thinks she's found it and we're going to check it out but it isn't ready for a bit unfortunately" you explain.

With an impressed look on her face, she says "The world’s a crazy place right now so that's good for someone that barely twenty- something. Sorry, I have horrible memory". "It's fine, I'm now twenty-three since I was sixteen when the red room was taken down" you said.

"Oh- I just remembered! Did you know barton has a dog? I'm thinking after killing him, we keep the dog. He's a golden retriever called Lucky so I was thinking maybe him and Fanny could be friends, right?" Lena goes on, excitedly as you smile.

"Yeah, I like that and maybe we can take them for walks in different parks. Or do the tv show stereotype and paint the dogs nails whilst we are at a spa?" you continue on.

"I'm done to try that so long as they're fine with it as consent is always important" she said happily. "So, are we meeting with Melina and Alexei later? I haven't seen them in ages plus I think we might have to have the long awaited conversation" you mention.

"Ah, yes. The one of when are we meet Bucky Barnes since he is technically like my grandfather since Alexei calls him dad when talking about him" Yelena said as we make our way back to the cars.

"Since neither of us got to actually celebrate the winter holidays, maybe we should try giving him our Christmas lists. Besides since I'm pretty sure he's jewish then he can separate them between eight days at least that's what Alexei said" you say.

"Agreed. See you tomorrow for family dinner" she waved goodbye as the two of you went into the separate cars before she began driving away.

You knew despite how she may act about it all, deep down yelena was grieving worse than anyone in history aside from wanda maximoff, one of Nat's avenger friends.

Even though she said she was get help, you saw through all of the lies that she'd say every saturday after 'therapy' which was just Lena avoiding seeing you so that you'd think she was in therapy like she had been telling you for weeks.

At some point you began following and saw her going to the same park with Fanny for two hours every day and just walking around to cool off some steam.

By the time family dinner came the next day, you had a lot of questions that needed to be answered soon. It was anything from why don't the red room at least know the parents of all of the widows there.

Throughout the drive, all you could think about is what you had just gotten yourself into by agreeing to kill Clint Barton with Yelena. Would more avengers try to attack you? Would you succeed? What happens if you're arrested?

Those thoughts continue for a while but by the end you don't really care as much about what might happen to you more what happens to Yelena once she has completed her mission.

#lucia one shots #yelena belova x you #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova x reader #yelena my beloved #onlyjamesbarnes 1.5k challenge #yelena belova x platonic!reader

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sk-lumen · 3 years

Note

Hello dear enchantress Lumen,

I hope you are well and safe♥️ I just came here to seek for some advice from you and ladies out there if possible. I often get men complimenting me on my eyes and lips, more so my lips (I know damn well what they’re thinking about while they’re at it lol) but it’s become frustrating and to a point where I am objectified because of my looks.

I feel like I am a shell with a pearl inside- weird comparison I know but men just rather focus on what’s on the outside paying little attention to what may be inside. I like talking about mind stimulating stuff and the conversations get dragged to sexual stuff. While I am playful being sexually objectified is really a buzz killer 😞They start asking for naughty pictures and such. Every conversation I make online or in person with men has to always start with me addressing the fact that I do not send nude photos or videos.

I do understand that men naturally have a big appetite for sexual things. My question is dear Lumen; How do I deal with men like that? To have them to see more than and past my looks, but the beauty within? And also how can I keep the sexual thing playful yet not super nudity type? (Like for eg can I pose half nude or wear things to still keep his i terest but playful enough to leave the rest of my body to his imagination, hopefully enabling him to see me for my soul as well) Please tell me tips you would think be best in how to keep men going sexually but not getting things over done, how to handle situations like this, etc)

Your advice and tips are highly valued and appreciated by me. Thankyou in advance. ♥️♥️

Hi darling,

Note: you pose some very good questions which is why I thought it's important to share it with others. I will mention that advice requests, which are slightly more explicit in nature, should be redirected to my personal inbox where I can reply in-depth: either in private, or share on the blog to help others as well. I'm happy to help, however such topics are not the main focus of my tumblr blog, which I would like to keep as a more light and safe space, welcoming to all regardless of goals or sensibilities. I'm open to everyone else's thoughts on this suggestion.

After reading your story, let me address each topic one by one:

You may be looking for gentlemen in the wrong circles. There is a repeating pattern here, and it is either from navigating the same circles, or attracting the same type of guys, or simply being surrounded by the same type in your local area. For this, I would advise to experiment and try new places more associated with higher value men (theatre, art exhibitions, museums, upscale restaurants, etc).

This whole trend with provocative photos is simply a result of the p*rn culture combined with consumerism, which has normalized the access to/objectification of female bodies as a product so to speak. Yes, it is unquestionable that the female body is a work of art - but unfortunately today's society does not yet understand this. Ignore the trend of n*des. Do not for a second succumb to it unless you are in a 100% committed relationship, completely trust your partner, and feel very much safe to do so — and even then, thoroughly considered. Is it worth risking things like having those photos leaked, your privacy and trust broken, just for a nondescript guy’s validation? The smart answer is simple: never.

Generally speaking, women have an equally big appetite. It’s simply about how both genders (or any gender) are socialized in expressing it. LVM learn that they can express it any way they wish, HVM act as gentlemen, as they should; whereas women oscillate between the double-edged blade of being too little or too much, either way facing risking judgement over it.

How to deal with low value men (because no man of class would ask for licentious photos, and I stand by that statement)? Block, delete, move on. If you are determined to embark on a journey of leveling up, you cannot waste time with such behaviour, dear ladies. There’s zero benefit, zero return of investment from engaging with men that have not yet reached the baseline of respecting you as an individual. There's no two ways about this, and there’s nothing to negotiate there.

You can’t make a man see, do or say anything. He either sees your value or he doesn’t. If you have to bring arguments to the table, the game is already rigged and you have lost, because the moment you question your worth is when they have already won. The only thing you should do then is find another table.

"Can I (…) to keep his interest" - Please don’t entertain this line of thought darling, it serves no one but LVM. You don’t have to do anything to keep someone’s interest, except be yourself. If you have to go above and beyond, bend over backwards, be someone you’re not, or step out of your comfort zone/boundaries at any point, it’s time to walk away. Besides, a man's interest is not a warranty for commitment or love.

Don’t rely on the mindset of luring in a guy with desire, to capture his heart. It should be the other way around, or simultaneous. But if he desires solely your body before even considering your mind, heart or soul… his priorities are clear, and they’re not likely to change.

My universal strategy for dating/relationships, which is in the best interest of your sacred feminine energy, the safeguarding of your heart, and the wise use of your time, is this:

Have clear standards, know what kind of man you’re interested in, take your time dating accordingly. When you find a good one, let him court you until he’s proven himself as a worthwhile companion that you can trust with all of you. Once commitment is made clear (and I mean clear, open commitment stated out loud, no juvenile "what are we" allusions), wait at least 3-6 months to further strengthen the relationship’s foundation of intimacy, and only then open completely.

It may sound complicated or long-winded, but it is a smart strategy for countless reasons: only a HVM will be patient, consistent and dedicated enough to stay for the long run all throughout. LVM will either bail, protest, test your boundaries, or other red flags which will reveal themselves on their own and spare you the trouble.

Hope this helps. Take care. ❤️

-Lumen

#glow up #dating advice #relationship advice #(note: should i tag such posts? with warnings or anything just in case?)#(i'm very mindful of any sensibilities)#ask

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