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#it would’ve been annoying if I had to stop working to deal with this bullshit but I didn’t so it was chill
eggtrolls · 1 month
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Yesterday I spent 3.5 hours clearing Japanese knotweed and 15 minutes of that was spent with a guy in his 20s trying to chat me up while I ripped 2-foot long roots out of squelching mud. He just stood there and nodded to whatever I said and was clearly just asking questions that would eventually lead to the inevitable ‘so are you single…’ in that weird and so, so specific cadence.
and I was like fuck it, this IS a captive audience. so I told him all about invasive earthworms in New England and how they cycle nutrients into the soil too fast and Protestant ideas of productivity in land management and the Dutch. But eventually we got to The Question and I was so ready for it I was like a cat that had been playing with a baby squirrel for an hour
Him: so are you single…
Me: 😏
Him: like do you have a boyfriend…
Me: 😏😏
Him: oh wait. Let me guess. You like girls?
Me: 😏😏😏
And then he left less than a minute later, right as an elderly woman named Vickie started talking to me about rhubarb! Come back! I wasn’t done telling you about the worms!
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woods2006gal · 3 months
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Chapter 09 - Torn and Frayed
Addison yawns as she climbs out of the Impala. Dean had driven nonstop to Sam’s motel room in Kermit. She didn’t know what had transpired while she had been asleep, only that Dean said that they were going to tell Sam what happened to Martin. Dean steps in front of her before they reach the motel room. “Let me do the talking,” Dean quietly tells her.
“Dean,” Addison begins.
“Addison, just this once let me do all the talking. In fact, you should stay in the Impala.”
Normally, Addison would argue with him. She hated being left behind. But Dean never called her by her full name, unless he was annoyed with her. There was something in his eyes, that was asking her to stay back. She nods. Addison climbs into the Impala and watches as Dean walks up to Sam’s motel room. She grabs a book out of her bag and a flashlight.
A short while later, Dean climbs back into the Impala and they’re speeding off into the night. Addison doesn’t look up from the pages detailing Claire Fraser’s attempt to get Jamie Fraser of out of a French prison. “Benny saved my life,” she softly says, breaking the silence that had settled over them. “Benny saved my life and helped us get home. Sam…Sam is family. I mean, you two have literally been to Hell for each other.”
Dean glances at her. “I know.”
Addison finally looks up from her book. “Then why are you letting Sam be pissed at you for something I did?”
“Because I would’ve done the same exact thing.”
Addison sets her book and flashlight down. She slides across the seat. He drapes an arm over her shoulder and a comfortable silence settles down over them as the Impala speeds down the dark highway.
~*~
A buzzing noise tears Addison’s attention from the battle of Culloden. She looks over to her right and finds her phone buzzing on the nightstand. Sam’s name was flashing across the screen. She sits up and grabs her phone. “Sam,” she cautiously greets. She wasn’t sure if Sam was calling to argue with her or not.
“You and Dean are married,” Sam angrily says.
Addison humorlessly laughs. “That’s not funny, Sam. Look, I know that you’re not happy about the whole thing with Benny—”
“Dean keeps your marriage license in the bottom of his toolbox,” Sam coldly interrupts. Addison freezes. He was being serious. “There’s a false bottom. That’s where it is.”
Sam hangs up and Addison stares at her phone. She glances in the direction of the bathroom, where Dean was in the shower. She bites her lip. There was only one way to know if Sam was telling the truth or not. Slipping on her Converses and grabbing the Impala’s keys off the small table, Addison makes her way outside.
Dean turns off the shower and steps out. He had been replying the argument he had with Sam. Before they had never let past or present relationships come in between them. But Sam had chosen Amelia over searching for him and Addison while they were in Purgatory. And Dean was choosing to put Addison first, to protect her. He grabs the towel and dries his face and hair off before wrapping it around his waist. He walks out of the bathroom and stops. His tools were spread out over the extra bed. Addison was sitting on their bed. She turns and he notices the paper in her hand. “Fucking Sam,” he mutters.
“This…this isn’t legal,” Addison states, voice trembling. “We…we were super drunk and an Elvis impersonator can’t legally marry us. You have to go to the county and do a shit ton of paper work.”
Dean sighs. “This one did.”
Addison stares at him. “What are you talking about? You said you talked to the guy and that he said it wasn’t legal.”
“I lied. This Elvis asshat worked for the county. When couples would go in, he would do an actual marriage license. Not some fake bullshit. The real deal.”
Addison buries her face in her hands. “Oh my god,” she mutters.
Dean sits down next to her. He gently pulls the license out of her hands and sets it on top of his tools. “Ads, it doesn’t change anything.”
“Dean, it changes everything,” Addison exclaims. 
Dean takes a deep breath. He hated the chick flick moments. “Doesn’t change how I feel. I love you. That’s all the matters.”
Addison stares at him. She sighs. “I just…we could been together this entire time and we weren’t. I just feel like an ass.”
Dean shrugs. “Timing wasn’t right. Now it’s right.”
She places a hand on his cheek, feeling the permanent five o’clock shadow he kept and softly kisses him. “I love you too. For the record, you owe me a honeymoon.”
~*~
Dean was asleep on the couch when Castiel appears in the living of Rufus’s cabin. Feeling someone else in the room, he wakes with a start. The beer in his hand spills. “Damn it, Cas,” he snaps, sitting up. He shakes the beer off of his hand and sits the bottle on the coffee table. “How many fucking times I got to tell you…it’s just creepy!”
Dean notices a piece of paper on the table. Went for run. Have phone. Ads.
“Dean, I need your help,” Castiel says. “The angel Samandirel—”
Dean frowns. “Sam—”
“He’s been taken.”
“You mean Alfie, the weiner on a stick kid?”
“Yes. I, uh, I heard his distress call this morning.”
“On what, angel radio? I thought you shut that down.”
“Well, my penance, it’s going well and I thought it was time to turn it back on. I’ve, uh, been helping people, Dean.”
“Well, good for you. All right. So, what snatched Heaven’s most adorable angel?”
“Crowley.”
Dean runs a hand over his face. “I’m listening.”
“Samandiriel is being held in the general vicinity of Hastings, Nebraska.”
Dean shoots the angel a disbelieving look. “The general vicinity? That’s all you got?”
“Yes, which is why I need your help. It seems this gonna involve...talking to people.”
“Come on, Cas, I thought you were a hunter now.”
“Well, I thought so too, but...It seems I - I lack a certain—”
“Skill?” Castiel nods. Dean grabs Addison’s laptop off the coffee table and opens it up. A gong noise comes from the speakers and he quickly slams it shut. He glances at the angel. “You saw nothing.” Dean opens the computer and covers the screen as he quickly minimizes the page. He opens up a new page. “All right. What am I looking for?”
“Well, when you torture an angel, it screams and that kind of pain, it creates a ripple effect of strange incidents,” Castiel explains. He looks around the cabin. “Where’s Sam?”
“Sam’s gone. It’s just me and Ads. It’s all right. We’ll, uh, find Alfie ourselves.”
The cabin door opens and Addison walks in. She looks between the angel and her husband. “I’ll get cleaned up and then someone can fill me in.”
~*~
Addison and Dean walk through the hospital, with Castiel following them, heading towards the room of a man who claimed that a bush talked to him before bursting into fire. Despite the fact that they were trying to find an angel, Addison’s mind was on the fact that her and Dean were actually married. Full blown legally married. And had been for such a long time. “Mr Hinckley,” Dean asks, knocking on the door frame of a room. Addison follows him into the room to see a man lying in the bed with his face burned and bandaged. “Hi, we’re from the, uh, Geneva Gazette. We wanted to ask you a few questions about your ambush.” Dean chuckles and Addison sends him an unamused look.
“Yeah, well, I’d laugh too if it didn’t feel like the sun just ate my face,” Mr. Hinckley replies.
“It’s a metaphor,” Castiel says from Dean’s other side.
Dean stares at the angel, then turns to Mr. Hinckley. “Sorry. Uh, now, in the police report it said that the, uh, the bush, it talked to you, yeah?
Mr. Hinckley sighs. “Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but, yeah.”
“When the bush spoke to you, Mr. Hinckley, what did it say,” Addison softly asks.
“No clue. Sounded like Klingon to me.”
“Can you tell us those exact words?”
“Are you serious?”
Addison smiles. “Very.”
Mr. Hinckley looks over to Dean. “As much as you can remember, Mr. Hinckley.”
Mr. Hinckley sighs once more. “Sounded something like…sol-voch. Yeah. Sol-voch-tay.”
“Thank you,” Addison tells him, then walks out of the room with Dean and Castiel behind her.
“Well, what do you think,” Dean asks Castiel as they head down the hospital hallway. “Mean anything to you?”
“Yes. It’s Enochian. It means obey,” Castiel explains.
“Obey what,” Addison questions.
“I don’t know. But the amount of pain an angel must be in not just to manifest through shrubbery but to burn…Dean…we have to find him before it’s too late.”
Dean exchanges a look with Addison. “Okay. Okay, well, look, a sign like that…Alfie can’t be too far, right? So, we’ll just start at the bush and work our way out.”
Castiel stares at him. “And look for what exactly? Crowley could have him anywhere.”
“Well, we if know Crowley,” Addison begins. "And we know, the place will be crawling with demons. So, maybe just we just drive until they pop out.”
~*~
Addison yawns as the Impala comes to a stop. Three homeless men were standing next to a gallon drum, warming their hands. “Wow, will you look at that,” Dean remarks, running a hand over his tired face. They had spent all day driving around, looking to see if Crowley’s demons would make an appearance. “Our ninth abandoned factory. Ain’t that America? Hey, what do you say, this doesn't pan out, we head back to that beer and bacon happy hour about a mile back, huh?”
“I could really go for a glass of wine,” Addison tells him. “So, no arguments from me.”
“Wait a minute, Dean. Those derelicts, they’re demons. I can see their true faces,” Castiel says.
Dean grabs the binoculars off the seat next to him. “Crowley’s got that many hell monkeys outside, he’s got to have at least double inside.”
“And angel warding. I can feel it."
“Well, you, me, Ads, and a demon knife ain’t gonna cut it.”
“Okay. I’ll get Sam.”
“No,” Dean snaps. “We don’t need Sam.”
“But you just said—”
“Look, if Sam wanted in, he’d be here, okay? I got a better idea.”
~*~
Dean’s idea was to pay a visit to Kevin, who was hiding out on Garth’s houseboat. Luckily, the drive wasn’t long. Addison looks around the houseboat. Pages were stuck to the walls. Symbols were painted all over the walls. “Slow read,” Dean asks.
Kevin was sitting at the table with the demon tablet and a notebook in front of him. “Slowest.”
Addison frowns. “Where’s Garth?”
“Supply run? I don’t know. Sort of lost track of when he comes and goes. You guys need help with something? I’m working here.”
“You look horrible,” Castiel states.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Dean nods in agreement. “He's right. Are you okay, Kevin?”
Kevin lets out an annoyed breath. “Fine,” he tells them. Addison exchanges a look with Dean. He was not fine. “I’m just…in them middle of this.”
“Are you having any luck,” Addison asks, walking over to the table. She looks between the demon tablet and Kevin's notebook.
“Interpreting half a demon tablet? No, I got nothing.”
“All right, well, buck up,” Dean tells him. “Cause, uh, we need some more of that demon TNT ASAP.”
Kevin looks between the three of them. “You used it all?!”
“Yeah, so let’s whip up another batch.”
“Sure. West Bank witch hazel, skull of an Egyptian calf, the tail of some random ass newt that may or may not be extinct—”
“Kevin,” Addison interrupts. “Look, we know that you can’t just buy the ingredients from Wal-Mart. Okay.”
“That’s just the first three ingredients.”
“Give me the list,” Castiel says. “I’ll get what we need.”
Dean smirks. “Huh.” Kevin stares at him for a moment, then walks over to the table and starts making the list for Castiel. Addison turns to Dean. “What?”
“I didn't say anything,” Addison counters.
“Bullshit. You gave me that look.”
“What look?”
“You-you know…the look.”
“No, I don’t.”
“The don’t-be-an-asshole look. I wasn’t being an asshole.” Addison stares at him. Dean throws his hands up and walks out of the houseboat.
Kevin hands the list toe Castiel and the angel vanishes with a flutter. Addison turns to the young prophet. "Get some rest,” she tells him.
~*~
Addison glances over the top of her book. Since Castiel left, she had grabbed her book from the Impala and became immersed in Claire leaving Jamie before the Battle of Culloden. “Dean, stop,” she tells him. “You're making me dizzy.”
Dean had taken to pacing around the houseboat. “I mean, come on. How long’s it take to get a calf skull from Egypt?” He walks over to Kevin, who had chosen to continue translating the demon tablet instead of getting the rest that Addison told him to get. Dean snaps his fingers next to Kevin's ear. Kevin had put on a pair of headphones while he was working. “Kevin. Kevin. You're mom’s hot. I’m serious, your mom is one sexy—”
“Dean,” Addison snaps. Her phone buzzes and she pulls it out of her pocket. Benny’s name was on the screen. Dean walks over and grabs the phone from her hand. “Dude!”
“I thought I told you to go underground,” Dean greets.
“I am so far underground, I’m breathing through a straw, brother,” Benny replies. “Uh, look, what happened with your friend Martin back there, it wasn’t supposed to go down that way.”
“I know. Your granddaughter told me.”
“Yeah. I hate to ask you and Addison for much else, but I don’t supposed there’s any change you’re anywhere near the Catskills?”
“We’re working a case on the other side of the country. Why? What’s up?”
Addison stands up and walks over to Dean. “Is Benny okay?”
“Yeah, just hitting a little rough patch, I guess. You know, doing this whole solo thing,” Benny tells him.
Dean sighs. “Benny, one day at a time, man.”
“You know what? Uh, a cup of coffee sure would do me good.”
Dean tightens his grip on Addison’s phone. He hoped that the vampire wasn’t talking about having some of Addison’s blood. “All right, as soon as I’m done with this case. I’ll, uh, I’ll be there, okay?”
“Yeah. All right, brother. Thank you.”
Dean hangs up and holds out the phone to Addison. “Is Benny okay,” she repeats, taking her phone from him.
“He’s fine,” Dean tells her, then walks over to Kevin. Addison’t didn’t believe him. Dean taps one of Kevin’s headphones. “Hey. Where is your mom?”
Kevin pulls his headphones down without looking up from the notebook. “Somewhere safe.”
“You kicked your mom to the curb?”
“She was too distracting. I couldn’t focus. The angels said I had to go to the desert to learn the word of God, all right. So…” Kevin motions around them. “This is my desert.”
Addison frowns. “Kevin, your mom is your mom.”
“I can’t enjoy a world I need to save, Addison. I can enjoy it when this is all over with. For right now…there’s nothing more important than this.”
~*~
Dean plops down next to Addison on what they both assumed was Kevin’s bed. He glances over her shoulder. “Why are you so obsessed with this book? It’s all you’ve been reading since we got back.” He leans in close. "Is it porn?”
Addison rolls her eyes. “No, it's not porn. It’s fiction. And it seemed fun to read…after being stuck in Purgatory for a year.”
“Yeah, reading about someone stuck in a different time period is fun after being stuck in Purgatory.”
“Yeah, well, at least Frank spent some time looking for Claire after she vanished. He didn’t just move on with his life immediately,” Addison snaps.
Dean sighs. “Ads, you gotta forgive Sam.”
“I already forgave Sam. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn't hurt. He thought we were dead, he moved on.” Addison sighs and closes her book. “Did you guys look for me when the Leviathan took me or did you just get lucky that Dick Roman happened to be where they took me?”
“Hey, I wanted to look for you. I did. But Sam said we couldn’t miss what might be our only shot at taking out Dick. And that you wouldn’t want us to miss it. I hated that he was right. But we got super fucking lucky on that.”
A flutter of wings echoes in the houseboat. Through neither Dean or Addison turn towards the angel. “I got what we need,” Castiel announces.
“Well, it’s about damn time,” Dean says, turning to the angel. He stares at Sam. “What's he doing here?”
“Don’t worry, Dean. Once we save Alfie, I’m out,” Sam responds.
Dean stands up. “Oh, once ‘we’ save Alfie. Don't hurt yourself, Sam. Cas, Ads, and I can handle it.”
“Not according to Cas.”
Dean glares at the angel. “I told you we don't need him.”
“We need everything, Dean. And I need both of you, as you say, to stow your crap,” Castiel argues. “Can you do that?”
The brothers exchange a look. “Well, this is going to be a lot of fun,” Addison mutters, standing up.
~*~
The Impala pulls up in front of the warehouse where Crowley and some demons are hiding out. “So, there are four main points of warding,” Castiel says. He was sitting in the backseat with Addison. Sam had taken his usual seat in the front. “North, south, east, and west. And four Enochian symbols like this…” Castiel grabs Sam’s hand and draws the symbol on his palm. “That you need to destroy before I can enter.”
“Okay, so, what? We go in, take care of the hell looks and you extract the angel,” Dean questions.
“Yes,” Castiel matter of factly answers. “After killing so many, I need to save at least this one.”
Sam nods. “Sounds like a plan.”
“Okay,” Dean says, pulling out the demon killing knife. “Let’s do this.”
“Wait. Here.” Castiel pulls out an angel blade and hands it to Sam. “This doesn’t just work on angels. It kills demons too.”
“Thanks, Cas,” Sam tells him.
“Hey, where’s my demon killing sword,” Addison asks, looking between the three men. The boys exchange a look while Castiel awkwardly shifts. Addison stares at the angel, waiting.
Castiel looks between the brothers, wondering what he should do. Dean shakes his head. “Dude, you got yourself in this mess,” he tells the angel.
Castiel shifts. “Maybe you should…” The angel trails off when Dean and Sam both start coughing. Dean subtle shakes his head, trying to help the angel out. “Maybe you should stay here, Addison. So you do not get hurt.”
Addison leans back against the seat and crosses her arms. She stares at Castiel. “And this is something you truly believe in, Castiel,” she asks. Dean winces. He recognized the tone she used very well. It was the one that said ‘you better rethink what you just said.’ He had been on the receiving end of it many times when Addison had first joined him and John on the road all those years ago. Through the thing that Dean couldn’t figure out was why Castiel was purposely excluding Addison now.
“Yes,” Castiel answers. “If you got hurt, then Dean would be more focused on helping you. And I can not have that right now.”
Addison stares at the angel. Dean and Sam exchange a look. They both knew that Castiel was going to be in the hot seat for a while over this. “You think that I’m going to get hurt,” Addison coldly asks. Sam shifts. Even without a soul, he had known that it was pointless to ask Addison to sit back.
“Yes,” Castiel answers, not picking up on her tone of voice. “Your, as you say, track record with getting hurt is immense. I can not have that right now.”
“Fine.” Addison crosses her arms over her chest. “I’ll stay here and wait.” Castiel climbs out of the Impala. She turns to the boys. “Go. I'll be fine here.”
Dean nor Sam say anything as they climb out of the Impala. Dean runs a hand over his face. “Well, seems like Cas replaced you on Ads’ shit list,” he tell his younger brother. Sam ignores him and follows after the angel. “Great.”
~*~
Addison watches as Castiel walks towards the Impala with Alfie leaning against him. She was still pissed at him. She didn’t understand why he would come up with a bullshit reason for her to stay behind. She only did it because of her own curiosity. She watches as the two angels exchange words. Then Castiel pulls out an angel blade and stabs Alfie. A bright white light emits from the angel. She ducks down, hoping that Castiel wouldn’t think to check on her. Addison glances up to see Castiel cradling Alfie’s body. She watches as Dean and Sam run up to the angel. “What the fuck is going on,” she mutters.
~*~
Addison watches as Sam paints Enochian symbols on the walls of Rufus’ cabin. They were to prevent angels from listening to or watching them. “Okay,” Sam says, finishing up a symbol. “That should do it. Cas can’t see or hear us now.”
“Cas killed Alfie,” Addison blurts out. She had kept what she saw to herself until it was safe to do so. The brothers stare at her. “I saw Cas pull out an angel blade and stab Alfie in the chest.”
“Okay,” Dean nods, believing her. The boys had come to the same conclusion after suspecting Cas of doing something to Alfie. “What the hell?”
Sam sighs. “I know.”
“I told you something was off with him since he got back from Purgatory.”
“So, what, you think someone’s messing with him or something?”
“Who would do that,” Addison questions.
“Angels,” Sam suggests.
“Why would the angels have him kill another angel,” Dean counters. Sam shrugs. Dean runs a hand over his face. “You know what, man. We got this. You go.”
Sam stares at his older brother. “What?”
“Don’t you have a girl to get back to?”
“Yeah. I guess I do. Um, since when are you on the Amelia bandwagon?”
Dean shrugs as he walks over to the fridge. “I don’t know. I’m just tired of all the fighting,” he answers, grabbing a beer. “And you know what, maybe I’m a little bit jealous. I could never separate myself from the job like you and Ads could. You have something that’s not connected to the job.”
“What, you being such a big hugger and all?” Sam sighs. “She does make me happy and she could be waiting for me if I went back. I’d be a very lucky man if she was. But now…with everything starting down at us, with all that’s left to be done…I don’t know.”
Dean glances at his younger brother. “Huh.”
“Yeah.”
Addison looks between them. “Well,” Dean begins. “I do know this, whatever you decide, decide now. Both feet in or both feet out. Anything in between is what gets you dead.”
“Yeah, I keep hearing that. I’m gonna…take a walk. Clear my head,” Sam tells them. They watch as he walks out of the cabin.
Addison walks over to her husband and wraps her arms around him. “One day we won’t be connected to the job,” she softly says. “We’ll have the crappy white picket fence and the soccer games on Saturday mornings.”
Dean sighs. “Ads—”
“Don’t. Just…let’s hold on to it.”
Dean presses a soft kiss to the top her head. “I need to call Benny and let him know that I’m not coming.”
Addison nods and watches as Dean walks to their claimed bedroom in the cabin. She lets out a soft sigh. She knew that no matter what Dean wouldn’t allow himself to be happy.
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atlfics · 2 years
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Finally Finding You- All Time Low Fanfiction
Alex lives in a world where everybody has a predestined soulmate. 5938 words. Soulmates AU. 
This is my entry for Kalina's Summer 2022 Fanfiction Contest!
More notes at the end. 
“Alex, hey, are you here?” Rian called as he walked into Alex’s apartment, shutting the door behind himself.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Alex grumbled, grabbing a pillow and shoving it into his face as he groaned.
After removing the pillow, Alex sat up some in his bed, trying to look the least bit presentable, even if it was just Rian.
“Alex, hello?” Rian tried, making Alex roll his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m in my room,” Alex finally replied, annoyed that he’d have to talk to someone in just a moment.
Alex heard footsteps come up the hallway, and seconds later, Rian was in front of Alex’s bedroom doorway, looking in at him. As soon as he got a glance at Alex, Rian’s face fell, his normal smile replaced by a concerned frown. Rian cautiously stepped into Alex’s room, grabbing Alex’s desk chair and dragging it over to Alex’s bedside and sitting down in it.
“What’s up, Rian?” Alex asked, trying his hardest to not sound annoyed at Rian stopping by unannounced.
“Well, you’ve called in sick to work the last few days, but you’ve not called me over here to take care of you, which is really weird for you, so I’m thinking you’ve been staying home for another reason,” Rian explained, sounding serious.
For a split second, Alex tried not to roll his eyes, but he quickly gave up and rolled them back; it wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate Rian’s concern, but he didn’t want to be pitied right now, he felt bad enough already.
“Oh, um, I thought I’d deal with it solo this time, I really haven’t been feeling well,” Alex tried, adding a fake cough to strengthen his case.
“Alex, dude, cut the bullshit, we both know you’re not actually sick,”
“Okay, fine, maybe I’m not, what does it matter?”
“It matters because you’re my best friend and I care about you, I could tell last week at work that you were starting to get depressed again; you were withdrawing some, you hardly talked to me or anyone else when we had downtime. Now, you’re at that phase where it’s really bad because you didn’t tell anyone how you were feeling, and instead of doing something that could help you, you’re isolating in your room, not talking with anyone, and wallowing away in your feelings,”
Alex wanted to be annoyed, he wanted to tell Rian off for prying into his personal problems, he wanted to tell Rian that how he felt was none of his business, but he couldn’t. As much as he wanted to be annoyed, he couldn’t help but feel grateful that someone actually cared.
“You would’ve made a great therapist, dude, it’s a shame you’re working at Starbucks when you could be changing lives,” Alex eventually replied, desperately trying to change the subject.
“That’s nice, but you trying to distract me with a compliment isn’t going to work, not this time. Seriously, Alex, what’s going on, man? Are you upset about the soulmate thing again?” Rian asked, cutting to the chase.
Alex sighed, it was such a stupid thing to be upset about, he knew that, but yet, he still was. For most of his life, he hadn’t given much thought to the idea of his soulmate, but within recent years, it had really started to eat away at him.
He hated this about himself, he’d always told himself that he’d find the person he was meant to be with forever when the time was right, but he was starting to grow impatient with having to wait; how much more of his life was going to pass him by until he finally found the person who was supposed to make him the happiest and give his life purpose?
“Okay, fine, yes, that’s what I’m upset about; you got me,” Alex surrendered, the annoyance in his voice matching up with yet another eye roll.
“Why are you so stressed about that, man? You’re only twenty-one, it’s not like you’re in your forties or fifties and still haven’t found your person; you have plenty of time,” Rian assured, a caring look on his face.
“That’s easy for you to say, you’ve had yours for a little over a year now,”
Rian was at a loss for words, Alex was right; it was easy for him to say that Alex was overreacting when he’d been in the same position not that long ago.
“Okay, fair point, I shouldn’t be trying to invalidate you, this is a reasonable thing to be upset about. With that in mind, you being upset and wallowing away in your room isn’t going to speed up the process of you finding them; you have to get out there and make an effort,”
“It’s hard to want to do anything with the system being the way that it is,”
Alex had a point, the soulmate system caused many people a great deal of frustration. Everyone in the world had a soulmate, a perfect match, but no one had any way of knowing who theirs was. It was said that when you saw your soulmate, you would immediately know it was them, you’d see them in a way that you’d never seen anyone else before.
Alex had been wanting to find his soulmate for years now, but he didn’t even know where to look. He knew that it was really up to fate, that he just had to trust the process, but he hated how ambiguous it was. The way one found their soulmate was by going out and hoping you’d run into your person, but Alex found this to be quite challenging. Alex’s frustration at the process almost always led to a depression that made going out feel impossible; Alex was well aware that he wasn’t doing himself any favors by sitting in his room and letting the sadness win, but he couldn’t help it, it was too powerful.
“I know, I felt the same way before I finally found Zack,” Rian offered, making Alex scoff.
“Yeah, right, you didn’t have it as hard, dude,” Alex bitterly replied, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What makes you say that? We both know that the soulmate process blows, we both know that it was really hard for me for a long time,”
“I’m not saying it wasn’t hard for you, but you didn’t have to do it alone. Like, you still lived here with me, we would have heart to hearts at least once a week, you always said that you felt like finding your soulmate was hopeless, and that you’d never find them. I’d assure you that someday, you’d find them and be so happy. You’d always thank me, you said that if you were to find yours before I found mine, that you’d be there for me when I need it, you’d give me the same assurances I’d given you. Ever since you moved out, this whole thing has been so much harder on me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you have Zack, I’m glad you found your happiness, that you got your color back the moment you two looked into each other’s eyes for the first time, but I miss you being here, I miss having you to lean on whenever I need you,” Alex confessed, his voice fading in and out as he began to tear up some.  
Alex felt ridiculous for getting so worked up over this, but he couldn’t help it; Rian moving out had shown him how much he’d actually been struggling. He tried to take deep breaths, desperately wanting to maintain as much of his composure as he could, but a few tears still managed to run down his cheeks.
Feeling embarrassed, Alex looked down at his lap. Using a balled up sweatshirt sleeve, Alex quickly wiped them away, praying that new ones wouldn’t continue to form. Rian got up from his seat and sat next to Alex on the bed, he put a supportive hand to Alex’s back and rubbed it until Alex seemed like he was ready to talk.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to have an outburst like that,” Alex eventually said once he had himself under control again.
“No, don’t apologize, I understand where you’re coming from; it’s probably shitty to have all of the crazy thoughts and feelings that come with the soulmate process without someone to lean on whenever you need it. You could stay at my place for a bit, I’m sure Zack wouldn’t mind,” Rian offered, making a small smile appear on Alex’s face.
“I appreciate that, I really do, but no, I couldn’t do that. I think we both know that I’m going to feel this way until I find my person, and who knows how long that’ll take, y’know? Plus, with the attitude I’ve had about everything lately, I can promise you that you two would get so sick of me so fast,”
Rian gave Alex a sad smile, he knew that Alex was probably right, that staying at his place wouldn’t really fix the problem, it would just put a temporary bandaid over it for a little while.
“I see where you’re coming from, I guess it wouldn’t really fix the real problem at hand, would it? Since that won’t really work, what can I do to help you feel better about everything? Obviously, I know that actually finding your soulmate would solve everything, but in the meantime, what can I do? I don’t want you to keep missing work, and I really hate seeing you so sad and upset, man,”
Alex sighed, trying to think of how to answer Rian’s question. If he was honest, there really wasn’t much that Rian could do, finding his soulmate really was the only solution that Alex needed.
“Honest answer? I don’t even know, dude. I just want to get this process over with, I want to see in color again, and I want to be happy. Actually, even that might not be the answer, y’know, actually meeting my soulmate, what if we don’t gel well together? What if I’m this excited for nothing? I dated some in high school, we both know that that didn’t work out very well,” Alex continued, a dry laugh escaping him.
Rian wanted to roll his eyes, this was a conversation that he’d had with Alex many times before, especially before he’d moved out. He was more than happy to assure Alex as much as he needed, but it did surprise him that after all these years, Alex still desperately needed to be told what Rian was going to tell him.
“Alex, I honestly think that finding your soulmate will be the ultimate solution like you’re expecting it to be, it definitely was for me. As far as you dating in high school, of course that didn’t go well, those people weren’t your soulmate, I think you and everyone who you entered into a relationship with knew that what you had wasn’t forever, it was temporary. Those relationships are still a great thing, though, they gave you practice in being with someone, with having a partner who you care about. Remember the lessons you learned from those situations, and use them when you do finally find your person. I promise, it’ll all be worth the wait,” Rian assured, putting a supportive hand on Alex’s back.
“I hope so, dude. Don’t worry, I’ll be at work the next time we’re supposed to work together, I won’t call in again, I kind of just needed some time to chill and get my head together,”
“I understand, just don’t make a habit of that, man. Seriously, everything will fall into place when it’s the right time,”
“I hope so. Sorry if this is weird, but I wish we could’ve been soulmates. Like, I don’t know that I like you like that, but it wouldn’t have been so fucking draining on both of us,” Alex continued, as Rian stood up from the bed.
“Yeah, but it would’ve been too easy. You’re my best friend and I love you, but we’re not soulmates. Sorry to sound harsh, that’s not my intention, but when you do finally find your person, it’ll have been so worth the wait. I have to get going, I promised Zack I’d meet him somewhere, but you can always call or text if you need anything. Also, try to not stay hidden away in here for the rest of the night, you’re not going to feel better if you do, and you’re certainly not going to find your person in here. Get out, live a little! You never know when or where you’ll find your person,” Rian encouraged, making Alex laugh as he rolled his eyes again.
“We’ll see, sitting and sulking was kind of on my agenda for the night,”
“I can’t tell you what to do, but I really do think that you should get out of this apartment and do something fun, even if it’s just eating at your favorite restaurant, literally anything would be better than this, don’t you agree?”
“Maybe you have a point. We’ll see what the night brings,”
“You know what, that’s a good enough answer for me. Like I said, call or text if you need anything, I’ll see you around, man,” Rian said, waving as he walked out of Alex’s bedroom.
“See you later!” Alex shouted in reply when Rian was out of sight.
Seconds later, Alex heard his front door slam shut and sighed, the conversation he’d had with Rian had helped him some, but he still had an empty feeling that felt like nothing could fill it; well, nothing aside from finally finding his soulmate. Alex knew that Rian was right, staying at home and sulking in his apartment wasn’t going to fix anything, and it certainly wouldn’t help him find his soulmate any sooner, so he decided that going out, even for a little bit, would be a step in the right direction.
He took a look at his clock, it was already a little after seven in the evening, so grabbing dinner somewhere sounded the most appealing. Alex had spent the past couple days in comfy sweats, not feeling concerned with his appearance, but he decided that he’d step it up a bit for going out, he certainly wanted to look a bit more presentable, but he also knew that putting a little bit of effort in would help him to feel better.
After forcing himself to get out of bed, Alex quickly changed into a decent outfit and grabbed everything he’d need to go out. He went out to his car, immediately knowing where he was going to go; he was going to treat himself to dinner at one of his favorite restaurants. It was nothing fancy, it was an old diner that had been around forever, they had the best burgers and shakes in town, and it always brightened his mood when he went. After turning on his car, Alex connected his phone to the BlueTooth, then put on his favorite Blink-182 song to lift his spirits even more.
He sang along as he drove out of the apartment complex’s parking lot, and started on the way to the restaurant. As he drove, he thought about the soulmate process again, he’d do anything to get some kind of clue as to who his was so he’d at least know where to start looking. He truly wasn’t sure how he’d ever find his, the concept just seemed way too far fetched and unrealistic, but he still wanted it to work out for him.
“Okay, enough thinking about this shit, dwelling on it is just going to make me feel crazier than I already do,” Alex muttered to himself, shaking his head to get the thoughts out.
Alex turned his radio up louder and sang along to the music, desperate to rid himself of the soulmate thoughts, knowing that they were both unproductive and even a bit unhealthy. Eventually, he arrived at the diner, happy to see that there were hardly any cars in the parking lot; he’d practically have the place to himself.
He got out of his car and walked inside, seating himself in a booth by the window, the same one he always sat in. Almost immediately, a waitress named Maggie walked over to Alex’s table, she was an older lady who had worked at the diner for almost all of her adult life; she was almost always Alex’s waitress, and her face lit up with a smile when she got to Alex’s table.
“Alex, I haven’t seen you in a bit! How’re you doing tonight?” Maggie asked, sounding excited as she pulled out a pen and notepad.
“Hey, Maggie, I’m okay; could be better, could be worse, y’know? How have you been?” Alex asked, his first genuine smile in days appearing on his face.
For the past few days, Alex had been wallowing away in his room, feeling as if no one cared about him, so seeing Maggie and knowing that she actually cared meant a great deal to him.
“I’m good, even better now that you’ve stopped in! Do you want to start out with something to drink, or do you want to order dinner now, too?”
“I think I’ll go ahead and order everything, we both know that I already know what I want. Let’s see, can I get a double hamburger with pickles and ketchup, cheese fries, and a cookies and cream milkshake? Oh, and a glass of water, too?” Alex requested as Maggie wrote everything down on her notepad.
“You sure can, Alex! I’ll put your food in, and bring out that glass of water in just a moment,” Maggie replied, smiling one last time before turning away to go to the kitchen.
While he waited, Alex skimmed the menu, trying to see if anything had changed since the last time he’d come in. To his surprise, there were a couple new things on the menu, but he was happy with what he’d ordered, it was his tried and true, and he needed it as a pick me up right now. After just a couple minutes, Maggie walked back over, holding two glasses in her hands.
“Okay, here’s that glass of water, and the milkshake. Your food should be out in about fifteen minutes, let me know if you need anything else,” Maggie said, setting the glasses down in front of Alex.
“Will do, thanks, Maggie,” Alex replied, sticking straws in both glasses.
He took a sip of his milkshake, smiling at how good it was. Not knowing what else to do, Alex took out his phone and went to Instagram, deciding that some mindless scrolling would be a good way to fill the time. The third post he saw made his stomach turn some; it was a picture of Rian and Zack that Zack had posted a bit earlier. The caption was long and cheesy, detailing how much he loved Rian and how happy he was that they were soulmates. Alex rolled his eyes, but immediately felt bad for doing so.
It wasn’t that he was upset that Rian had found his soulmate, he couldn’t be happier for his best friend, but it sucked that Rian was so happy and content, while Alex was struggling to get out of bed most days due to the soul crushing depression he felt over not having found his person yet.
Alex turned his phone back off and set it on the table, before putting his head into his hands. How had Rian found his person already, how could he be off living his life to the fullest, while Alex was stuck wondering if his soulmate would ever turn up? Alex knew that he had a lot of positives in his life, that he didn’t need a soulmate to be happy, but having one sure as hell would make things easier.
If Alex had his soulmate, he could go on double dates with Rian and Zack; it was no secret that ever since Rian had found Zack, he’d had a lot less free time to spend with Alex. Sure, they saw each other at work, but outside of that, Rian had a lot of commitments with Zack and both of their families, so Alex getting to actually hang out with Rian was quite rare. Alex continued to stay in his head, letting his thoughts spiral like they had been for the past couple days, until he eventually felt a tap on his shoulder.
After taking a quick deep breath, he looked up to see Maggie, holding his dinner in her hands.
“Alex, I have your dinner,” Maggie said, gently setting the plate down on the table.
“Oh, thanks, sorry I wasn’t paying attention,” Alex replied, trying to quickly regain his composure.
“Alex, is something troubling you?”
“I guess, it’s just the soulmate stuff, it bothers me sometimes, but I’m okay,”
Maggie took a closer look at Alex, then sat down across from Alex, a concerned look appearing on her face.
“What’s on your mind about soulmates, Alex?” Maggie questioned, as Alex awkwardly shifted around in his seat.
“Maggie, I’ll be okay, it’s all stupid. Besides, you have customers to feed, I’ll be fine,” Alex said, not even believing himself.
“Alex, can I give you a small piece of advice? I know we don’t know each other well, I’m just your waitress, but would you mind if I said something that might help?”
“Sure, I guess, I need all the help I can get,” Alex said, a bitter laugh escaping him.
“Don’t stress so much over the soulmate process, it’s not worth it. You have very little control over it, but the one thing you do have power over is how you let it impact you. I understand it’s frustrating not having yours, especially if your friends are starting to find theirs, but you’ll find yours when the time is right, I promise,”
“See, logically, I know that’s all true, but I still let it bother me,”
“I did the same when I was younger. All of my friends found theirs before I found mine, and it was hard. I was happy for them, but also jealous that I didn’t have what they did. Eventually, I did find mine and it made me incredibly happy, but looking back, I wish that I would’ve been a little more patient and a little less uptight about it all. You’re young, enjoy your youth, and just trust the process,” Maggie explained, as Alex took a deep breath.
“That’s a really good way to look at it, thank you, Maggie. Like I said, I’ll be okay, it’s just gotten to me more than usual these past few days,” Alex replied, blushing a bit; it felt weird being this vulnerable with someone who was almost a stranger.
“That’ll happen, but you’ll get through those days, and one day, you’ll no longer have them. Just take it all a day at a time, Alex. I’m going to leave you alone so that you can eat your dinner, but if you need anything else, just holler,” Maggie continued, getting up from the booth.
“I will, thank you again, Maggie, I appreciate it,” Alex said, exchanging another smile with Maggie before she walked away.
Alex started to attempt at eating his food, but found it hard to do. It wasn’t that it tasted bad, but he still felt a bit worked up over his thoughts, and it was messing with his appetite. As he tried to eat, a few people came into the diner, so Alex started to do one of his favorite things, people watch. He watched them sit down at their tables, then look at the menu, and be greeted by their servers. For as long as he remembered, Alex had always enjoyed people watching, he felt a bit creepy for enjoying as much as he did, but it gave him something to do, and it gave him something to focus on that wasn’t the thoughts in his mind. Slowly but surely, he started to get out of his head some, which made eating his dinner feel a bit easier.
As he finally started eating, the door to the diner opened again, and a guy who looked to be around Alex’s age walked in. He looked a bit lost and confused, but he sat down in a booth on the other side of the diner from Alex. After setting his burger down on his plate, Alex looked up so he could look at this new customer, and when he did finally look over to him, his jaw practically dropped. Everything about this person looked normal, except for the slight glow that covered him, the same glow that Rian had described to Alex when he’d talked about seeing Zack for the first time.
Alex didn’t know what to do; was the best course of action just going up to the guy’s booth, sitting across from him and rambling about how they had to be soulmates, or would it be best for him to stay put, and wait for this person to look up at Alex, and notice the same thing? Before doing anything, Alex had to be sure that what he was seeing was correct, so Alex grabbed his phone again, and went to his text thread with Rian.
Alex: Rian, I have a super important question that I need answered right now.
Rian: What is it, Alex? Are you okay?
Alex: When you saw Zack for the first time, what did the glow on him look like? Like, the one that made you realize he was your soulmate?
Rian took a bit longer than usual to reply, making Alex feel nervous; what if Rian wasn’t going to answer? What if he took a while to elaborate on his thoughts, and by the time that he finally replied, the guy on the other side of the diner was gone? Alex felt all these thoughts swim around his brain, until his phone finally vibrated again a few minutes later.
Rian: It’s a bit hard to describe, especially over text, so bare with me. I saw this glow on him, like you brought up, and when I saw him, I just knew that he was the one. He looked absolutely perfect, like, I’ve never felt so attracted to someone. Also, when I saw him, I felt like I’d finally come home, that’s the part that’s hard to describe over text. Like, I saw him, and felt comfortable and safe and like nothing bad could ever happen again as long as I had him with me. Does that help? Also, what makes you ask, do you think you found your soulmate???
Alex looked up at the guy again, thinking about what Rian had said; everything checked out. He certainly had the glow that Alex knew was a hallmark of discovering your soulmate for the first time, and he looked perfect to Alex. Sure, he looked a bit confused and disheveled, likely because he was new to this part of town, but he still somehow looked absolutely perfect in Alex’s eyes. He also gave Alex that sense of ‘home’ that Rian had described; Alex had never seen his person in his entire life and didn’t even know his name, but just looking at him made him feel like he could share his deepest, darkest secrets, his passions, his insecurities, his wins, his losses, everything.
Before getting up to talk to the guy, Alex sent one last quick text to Rian.
Alex: I’ll explain later, thanks for the feedback, man.
Alex shoved his phone into his pocket as he got up, taking deep breaths as he started to feel anxiety pool in his stomach. He was mostly nervous because he didn’t want to be wrong, not only did he not want to embarrass himself in front of a total stranger, but this would really make his confidence take quite the hit; looking more and putting himself out there again in the future would be insanely hard, if not impossible.
Alex slowly walked over to the other side of the diner, forcing his legs to carry him forward, thinking of all the different worst case scenarios that could play out in a matter of seconds. Once he finally reached the guy’s booth, he sat across from him and cleared his throat, making the guy look up from his phone in confusion.
“Can I help you?” He asked; he didn’t sound angry or frustrated that Alex had joined him, just confused.
“Hi, this is going to sound really insane, so I’m sorry in advance. Um, I was sitting on the other side of the diner, eating my burger, and um, I saw you walk in, and you looked- wait, I can say that better, you-“
“Hey, wait, are you my, um, you have this glow to you that I’ve always heard is associated with-“
“Soulmates,” Alex finished, still forcing himself to take deep breaths, he was on the verge of an anxiety attack, and that would not be the best first impression.
The two of them silently stared at each other for a few minutes, wanting to give the other space, and also wanting to take each other in. Alex noticed that the glow on the stranger across from him started looking more intense, the lights in the restaurant could go out, and it wouldn’t even matter because of the light illuminating from the man on the other side of the table.
Finally, Alex cleared his throat, breaking both of them from their trances.
“What I was saying, I saw you across the room, and you had this glow, the one I’ve always heard that your soulmate has when you first see them. I’m sorry if this is, like, really awkward, but I had to see if it was mutual,” Alex finally explained, his anxiety slowly starting to come down.
“I’m glad you did, you have that same glow, and I hadn’t noticed you when I walked in. Does this mean that we’re, um,”
“I think it does. Wait, I haven’t even introduced myself, I’m sorry, my name is Alex,” Alex stated, holding out his hand for a handshake.
“I’m Jack,” Jack replied, shaking Alex’s hand.
“Nice to meet you, Jack. Um, I’m not sure what we do now, I’ve never done this before, but I guess that’s pretty obvious, since everyone just gets one soulmate,” Alex said, awkwardly laughing some.
“It’s okay, I’m at a bit of a loss, too. I guess we can start by telling each other about ourselves some, I can go first. I’m twenty-four years old, I’m originally from Lebanon, but I moved to the states as a young kid, I have two older siblings, a brother and a sister, and I’m a huge Ravens fan,” Jack listed, making Alex smile some.
“You’re from out of the country? Me too! I’m from England originally, but moved here super young. I’m twenty-five, and I don’t have only full siblings, just half siblings on my dad’s side. I’m also a huge Ravens fan, I used to have season tickets for a while,” Alex replied, excitement starting to take a hold of him.
For the next couple hours, the two of them sat in that booth, walking each other through their lives up until this point, not leaving out any details, no matter how minor. Even though it was getting later and later, Alex felt his energy rise throughout the night, intrigued by Jack’s life story, and very eager to tell his own.
Eventually, their conversation hit a bit of a pause, both boys running out of things to say. Not much later, Alex thought of something, and cleared his throat to get Jack to look up at him again.
“Um, it’s actually really cool that we found each other tonight, of all nights. I’ve been a bit depressed lately, my best friend since childhood found his soulmate a couple years ago, and I’m happy for him, but he moved out of the place we shared, and he doesn’t have as much free time to hang out, since he’s usually with his soulmate. We work together so we see each other there, but hanging out and working are not the same thing. I actually called out of work the past few days, I told my boss that I was sick, but I was really just down about the soulmate thing, thinking I’d never find mine, and letting it make me feel sad and depressed. I didn’t even want to come to this restaurant tonight, but Rian, my friend, told me to do something and not just wallow in my depression, now I’m so glad I took his advice, I wouldn’t have found you if I hadn’t,” Alex explained, making them both smile and blush.
“It’s crazy you say that, I’ve been kind of down about the soulmate thing lately, too. I wouldn’t say I was super depressed about it like you described, but I have friends who’ve found their person, and I just felt left out. Regardless, we never have to experience those shitty emotions alone ever again, from now on, we have each other,” Jack replied, reaching across the table, and grabbing Alex’s hand with his own.
Jack used his thumb to stroke the back of Alex’s hand, and this made a warm feeling pour into Alex’s stomach, he figured that this must be what butterflies felt like.
“That’s so true, now we’ll always have each other,” Alex replied, doing his best to stifle a yawn.
“Hey, are you getting tired?”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to leave and have this night end, I want it to keep going,” Alex replied, blinking a few times in an attempt to wake himself up.
“Who said it had to end when we leave? We could both go back to one of our places for the night, if you’d be into that,” Jack suggested, making Alex smile even more.
“I’d love that, do you want to come to my place?” Alex offered.
“That sounds perfect to me. I’m ready to go if you are,” Jack said, starting to get up.
“Let’s do that!”
The two of them went to the register at the front of the restaurant and paid their tabs, then walked outside to the parking lot.
“I just texted you my address, it isn’t too far from here, but if you get lost, just give me a call,” Alex said, grabbing his keys from his pocket.
“Will do, I’ll see you in a few, Alex,” Jack replied, giving Alex the quickest peck ever, but it was still enough to make him smile like an idiot.
Without saying anything in fear of making a fool out of himself from the giddiness, Alex got into his car, and turned it on. Before he had the chance to drive out of the parking lot, he felt his phone vibrate, so he fished it out of his pocket to see another text from Rian.
Rian: So, over two hours ago, you ask me this insanely important question about soulmates, then drop off the face of the Earth for a bit? What’s going on?
Alex: I’ll tell you in detail tomorrow, but for now, thank you for encouraging me to go out tonight, it was very well worth it.
Alex hit send, then started to drive back to his place. He looked up at the stars in the sky, truly admiring their beauty for the first time in his life.
A/N: Hey guys! Like I said in my other author's note, this is my entry for Kalina's Fanfiction contest! Also, sorry for accidentally taking a hiatus from posting, school has been insanely busy, and I just moved in with my boyfriend, so life has been a bit hectic lately! I'm hoping to post more again in the near future. As always, feel free to send in ideas/requests if you have them! -Liv
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storiesofsvu · 2 years
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New Year's Resolution
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Rafael Barba x fem!reader Warnings: language, alcohol, smut.
Rafael had been settled into the bar at Maxwell’s for well over an hour. Less than a day back from his Holiday vacation and SVU had already managed to drown him in paperwork. Now the defense was doing the same in an attempt to stall the trial even longer, to say he was unimpressed and annoyed as an understatement.
You were at the opposite end of the bar, sipping on a cinnamon margarita while you picked at some yam fries. The stranger in the sharp suit caught your eye when he had originally walked in, it made sense, Manhattan was full of men in fancy suits. But this one didn’t look like one of those sleazy Wall Street guys, and his suit was immaculately tailored to his body, the colour choices of the tie and pocket square picked out perfectly.
The only person you’d seen who looked that good was the brunette in the red skirt suit, hair flawlessly curled and half pinned back, but she seemed almost too intimidating to approach. Not to mention she’d only stayed long enough for half a glass of wine, your assumption on both people were that they were lawyers, considering the proximity to the courthouse. And the way the woman seemed to be striking some kind of deal. You weren’t involved in the legal world at all, but you’d watched enough television dramas to know the bare minimum.
The man let out a small huff, pinching the bridge of his nose as he paused in his paperwork. Stress. Frustration. You’d recognize that anywhere, basically your entire last year. Your now ex, who had been living with you was caught in a web of cheating and lies, breaking your heart and then destroying your mental health. You’d ended up in court battling over things since you were technically common law, but weren’t married or anything, and he was an upright asshole. Once your lawyers had managed to battle everything out, you may have begun to delve into the casual dating a little heavily…and very casually. There were some you didn’t even know the names of anything to get your mind off the bullshit of the year (all done safely of course).
The bartender came over to check on you, you asked for a refill, and to send the stressed-out man whatever he was drinking on your tab.
*
“Oh...I didn’t order that.” Rafael stated as the bartender placed a fresh glass of Macallan down in front of him.
“I know.” The bartender replied, “seems you’ve got an admirer.” They nodded slightly in your direction and you held up your drink in a ‘cheers’ fashion with a small grin on your face. Rafael let out a soft chuckle, repeating the motion and returning the smile, mouthing ‘thank you’. He felt flattered, it wasn’t often things like that happened, and after a rough couple of weeks, it had his ego boosted.
You occupied yourself by polishing off your fries, scrolling through your phone and replying to a few emails. You knew the man was obviously working, and by the looks of things, busy, you weren’t pressed. If you needed or wanted to leave, it would’ve been easy enough to slide him your phone number. You were distracted by a BuzzFeed quiz, your eyes on your phone when you saw another margarita slide its way into your peripheral vision. Your gaze pulled up from your phone, meeting the emerald ones of the man from across the bar, God, he was even more attractive up close
“You always buy people drinks and then ignore them?” He teased. You laughed, the smile remaining on your cheeks.
“You looked busy.” You retorted, “besides…my New Year’s Resolution was to stop sleeping around… although you’re making that very difficult.” He chuckled, you stuck out your hand, “y/n.”
“Rafael.” He gestured to the bar stool beside you, “may I?”
“Of course.”
You gave him a warm smile as he settled in, the two of you dancing your way through the usual introductory small talk. Another round of drinks later and you were well into the heavy flirting stage, your hand coming to trail along his thigh. When the bartender came around to check on you, Rafael asked for the cheques...together, you blushed, thanking him as he had no obligation to do that. He wasn’t one to normally invite practical strangers back to his apartment, but you’d begun the conversation rather forwardly, and he was intrigued to explore more. You fit into his type, physically at least, and it would definitely be helpful in the stress relief department, so, he brazenly invited you back, and wasn’t surprised when you agreed.
*
You waited at least until the door was closed, your shoes and coats tossed aside, Rafael shucked his suit jacket over a spare chair, turning back to you with a small smile on his face and then you were on each other.
Rafael’s lips moved with grace and skill against yours, his large hands prying at the hem of your shirt, truly wasting no time. You groaned against his mouth at the feel of his fingers tickling at your bare skin as he rucked the fabric up, he took advantage, sliding his tongue into your mouth. Your arms slid down his chest, undoing the buttons of his vest, letting it slip off his arms. You internally cursed the man for having so many layers on as he freed you from your shirt, it found home somewhere on the floor as he began to back you into the bedroom.
His lips came back to your body, kissing and nibbling at the skin of your neck while you started on his tie and shirt, moaning at the feel of him sucking a mark into your pleasure point. Rafael’s hands wrapped around you, swiftly undoing your bra and it didn’t take long for the two of you to collapse onto the bed bare against each other. You could feel his hardness against your thigh and knew you were in for a good time, a hand sneaking down to clasp around him, giving him a few pumps.
Rafael groaned, his mouth wrapping around a breast, sucking the at the tender flesh as his hand delved lower, tickling at your soft skin. You whimpered when his fingers swiped through your folds, his lips smirked against your tit at the way your hips chased after his hand.
“Please…” you murmured, and he wasn’t about to deny you, not with how fucking pretty you sounded when you begged.
A single finger slowly plunged into your heat, a sigh of relief escaped your lips at the sensation. He had incredible hands, even from across the bar you knew that, and they felt like fucking heaven against your pussy. He added a second finger, his mouth moving to the opposite side of your chest, one of your hands curled tightly around the back of his head, tugging at the short locks. His fingers twisted and scissored within you, prepping you for his cock, dragging against your gspot with each thrust.
You whined heavily, hips undulating against his body, eager for more. Rafael chuckled darkly, sucking a mark at the underside of your breast. Your pussy was dripping, begging for more, he easily slid a third finger in and you gasped, your walls fluttering around them. He felt the way you begin to shiver under him, quickly shifting, ducking his mouth to your clit and you yelped. Your hand dug even deeper into his hair as his tongue flicked at the swollen nub while his hand continued to fuck you.
“Oh fuck.” You groaned out, the coil in you burning quicker and quicker while Rafael increased his pressure and pace, your hips rocked up heavily against him. A soft yelp broke free of your lips while your orgasm crashed over you, a soft shake echoing through your body. Rafael slowly pulled himself from you, grasping your hips gently.
“Roll over.” He murmured, letting you recover from your peak as you caught your breath, rolling to your stomach. He shifted to the bedside table, grabbing a condom, rolling it on before settling between your thighs again. “You ready?” He double checked, chuckling when you giggled, popping your hips of the mattress, waggling them at him.
You whimpered at the feel of his cock teasing your folds while he coated it in your juices, your hands grasping at the bedspread. His name left your lips in a wanton moan as he sheathed his cock into you, your walls tightening around him as he seated himself into you. His head dropped back in a swear at the feeling of your warmth encasing him, the little jitters of your walls as you adjusted to his size.
“Fuck me hard…” you whined.
Rafael was quick to oblige, pulling back until just his tip remained in your before plunging back in, you gasped heavily as he set a brutal pace. His hands dug into your hips as his cock thrusted in and out of you, his balls meeting your ass with each push, your head shoved forward on the bed with each thrust. Your hands scrambled at the bedspread, eyes scrunching shut at the fire burning at your skin, the way you could feel every drag and ridge, every vein of his cock toying with your pussy. The slight curve of his dick hitting your gspot with every thrust and you swore loudly, your walls clenching down around him.
He felt the pulsating of your pussy, the way your body began to shake beneath him, still sensitive from your first orgasm. To be completely honest, he knew he wasn’t going to last very long either. It had been a while, and the wet warmth of your cunt wrapped around him was nearly too much, combined with the vision of you wrecked against the bedspread, your eyes scrunched shut, a trail of whimpers and gasps, moans of his name leaving your lips, it wasn’t going to take long, you were too damn sexy.
One of his hands wrapped around your hips while the other held you steady as he plowed into you. His fingers swiftly found your clit, rolling it roughly against your body. Your hips started to fuck back on him more earnestly, your ass smacking against him louder with each thrust as your voice grew louder until he could feel your walls tightening around his cock. The fire under your skin shot southward, your hips shuddering before they stalled against Rafael, locking him buried deep inside of you as you came, practically crying out, your breath heaving, cheeks fully flushed.
Your body nearly collapsed against the bed, your hips only raised enough for Rafael to continue to pound into you, chasing his own release now that you’d reached yours. The fluttering of your walls pulled it from him earlier than he’d expected, a grunt escaping his lips as he spilled into the condom. Out of breath, he softly collapsed against your back, still half supporting himself around your body. His breath hot on your neck as you transcended back to earth.
His lips softly kissed your neck, a small trail leading down your shoulder, tracing the outline of your spine until he was sat up between your legs, softly pulling from you. Shifting lightly he tossed the condom into the garbage can under the bedside table, collapsing beside you on the bed. A wave of comfortable silence enveloped the bedroom before you finally spoke.
“Guess I should call a cab.”
“Stay…” he replied.
“You sure?” You cocked a brow, your head flipping on the pillow to face him.
“Yeah.” He chuckled, rolling to face you, “I’d only be encouraging you to break your resolution if I kicked you out right now.” You laughed,
“Helping me keep my resolution means you want this to happen again Rafael.”
“Maybe I do.” He smirked, pulling you to him. You were more than happy to accept the embrace, snuggling against him, smiling at the way his lips hit your head.
Maybe this was the year you’d actually keep your resolution.
______________ @fandom-princess-forevermore @alexusonfire @bisexualcrowley @detective-giggles @teamsladsandgents @averyhotchner @glimmerglittergirl @beccabarba @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @whimsicallymad @prurientpuddlejumper @letsdisneythings @neely1177 @angieed @mrsrafaelbarba @lv7867 @bisexual-dreamer02 @skittle479 @fanficfaeriesrafaelbarbalibrary @amelia-song-pond @madamsnape921 @altsvu @svulife-rl @lawandorderimagines @qvid-pro-qvo @hurricanejjareau @caracalwithchips @mysticfalls01 @ssaic-jareau @barbasbodaciousbeard @alwaysachorusgirl @chasingeverybreakingwave @michael-rooker @rafivadafreddy @darkheart-brightsmile @australiancarisi @tinyboxxtink @newyorker14 @ex-uallyactive @lawandorderuswnt @lustvolle-liebe @disn3y7 @sia2raw @narvaldetierra @dxtery @lannister-slings-and-arrows @poisonedcrowns @melk917 @anlin2058
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edenmemes · 3 years
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resident evil village starters
❝ oh, keep growing! one day your head might actually fit your ego. ❞   ❝ running will get you nowhere. ❞     ❝ you don’t have to trust my words, but do you have any better options? ❞   ❝ you shouldn’t be out here. it’s not safe. ❞   ❝ i know you don’t like to talk about it, but can we really just forget everything and pretend it didn’t happen? ❞   ❝ well, what do you think? it’s hopeless, right? ❞ ❝ i wish it could stay like this forever. ❞   ❝ oh, such a disappointment. i thought we could join forces.  ❞ ❝ i don’t have time for this bullshit. out of my way. ❞   ❝ i don’t give a damn about your personal issues. ❞   ❝ it’s a pleasure to see you safe. ❞   ❝ just give up. flesh and blood will never win against me. ❞ ❝ quit acting so full of yourself. ❞ ❝ the clock is ticking. playtime’s over! ❞ ❝ ohhh, don’t give up! ❞ ❝ you think you can take me on? ❞ ❝ you should have never refused me.  ❞ ❝ these are the fruits of my power.  ❞ ❝ leave it alone. you are out of your depth. ❞   ❝ i’ve learned all i can from you. your worth as a lab rat has run out. ❞   ❝ no, no, this can’t be the end for me! ❞   ❝ i can’t escape from here... i can’t do anything! ❞ ❝ what are you talking about? you think this is a game? ❞   ❝ don’t get cocky. i’d kill you if you weren’t the trouble. ❞   ❝ hey, do you know anything about what’s going on around here? ❞   ❝ i’m not used to relying on other people. ❞   ❝ you’re the real deal. well done.  ❞ ❝ i gotta...keep going. ❞   ❝ i think it’s time you left things in my hands. ❞   ❝ my power is leaving me! ❞   ❝ do me a favor... try to stay under the radar. ❞ ❝ you don’t get it. you don’t stand a chance by yourself. ❞ ❝ alright, alright. i guess i owe you an explanation. ❞ ❝ you must be pretty tough, huh? ❞   ❝ all your power’s done is drive you nuts. ❞   ❝ i gotta say, i’m surprised you made it this far. it’d be a shame if something happened to you now. ❞   ❝ so you finally came to see me! everyone falls for me in time. ❞   ❝ it’s all i can spare. take it, take it! ❞   ❝ you’ve got fight, i’ll give you that. ❞   ❝ i didn’t want to keep it from you. i didn’t want to lose you again. ❞   ❝ i’d kill you if you weren’t worth the trouble. ❞   ❝ is there something you’re not telling me? come on, talk to me. ❞   ❝ you can hear it, can’t you? someone’s waiting for you. ❞   ❝ oh, careful what you wish for. ❞   ❝ i don’t want to die. oh, it hurts so much. ❞   ❝ don’t look at me that way. ❞   ❝ i told you to sit down. ❞   ❝ you’re the reason ___ doesn’t love me. ❞   ❝ hey, kiss me? ❞   ❝ if it’s for you, i would do anything. ❞   ❝ come on, it’s not that much further! ❞   ❝ you’re the only one to see me in this form. ❞   ❝ ugh, my temper got away from me. ❞   ❝ play with me some more. ❞   ❝ trying to get on my good side? ❞   ❝ i don’t know if it’s the scent of the flowers, but i feel light headed. ❞   ❝ in all my years, i’ve never been this overjoyed. ❞   ❝ look forward to what i have in store for you. ❞   ❝ mmm, that smells good. what’s that? ❞   ❝ you really should have taken my deal. ❞ ❝ truth hurts, don’t it?  ❞ ❝ i’ve waited so long. but dreams really can come true. ❞   ❝ you coward! come out and face me. ❞   ❝ quit hiding, asshole. i’m not letting you get out of this.  ❞ ❝ i won’t let you have it. even if you beg. ❞   ❝ this is my territory, and i won’t let you leave. ❞   ❝ damn, i’m so cold. my legs won’t work. ❞   ❝ local wine, too. but if you’re going to keep sulking all evening, maybe you shouldn’t have any. ❞ ❝ it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you. ❞   ❝ you’re the last asshole in my way, aren’t you? ❞   ❝ well, at least we’re together. ❞   ❝ hey, now. think positively, all right? we talked about this. ❞   ❝ come now, don’t be shy. show me your terror. ❞   ❝ i would’ve sliced you to ribbons if they hadn’t stopped me. ❞   ❝ it’s only a riddle if you don’t know the answer. ❞   ❝ shouldn’t we face what happened there so we can live our lives without it hanging over our heads? ❞   ❝ rest while you can, because i will hunt you, and i will break you. ❞   ❝ this village is full of monsters. we can’t fight them! there’s too many. ❞   ❝ a dead body? wait...there’s more... ❞   ❝ you’re a lot like your father, you know. ❞   ❝ it barely flinched when i shot it. i feel like it’s toying with me. ❞   ❝ it’ll be fine. it’ll be fine. it’ll be fine. ❞   ❝ listen. you’re being played.  ❞ ❝ too bad you’ll pay for it...with your life. ❞   ❝ please won’t you stay with me? forever? ❞   ❝ you are lucky to die before your child. ❞   ❝ quiet now, child! adults are talking. ❞   ❝ there’s nothing wrong with my memory. you’re just being paranoid. ❞   ❝ this is...this is just too much. ❞   ❝ awww, you’re blushing. ❞   ❝ how can a man be ‘almost’ dead? that’s a question for the wise. ❞   ❝ what kind of sick medieval shit is this? ❞   ❝ i’ve spent a lifetime creating this moment...and you try to take it away from me? ❞   ❝ i’m sick of fighting you! ❞   ❝ why didn’t you fucking tell me right away? ❞ ❝ shut your damn hole and don’t be a sore loser! ❞   ❝ but i’m not paranoid, i’m just cautious. ❞   ❝ don’t get close to me when i’m cooking, babe. ❞   ❝ anyone who is anyone has heard of the likes of you. ❞   ❝ i haven’t cut open a man in a while. ❞   ❝ we moved here so that you wouldn’t have to deal with any of that, remember? ❞   ❝ why? why would you do this? ❞   ❝ i knew you would want to be involved. and this job is hard enough without civilians getting in the way. ❞ ❝ oh? you have something to say? ❞   ❝ tell me what’s out there! ❞   ❝ you’re still alive...? impressive. ❞   ❝ hey, are you listening? hey! ❞   ❝ exactly how much do you plan on annoying me? ❞   ❝ oh, no. they’re coming! ❞   ❝ do you have a gun? please tell me you have a gun. ❞   ❝ it’s not---nevermind. i’m sorry. ❞   ❝ drunk or not, you are welcome---and safe---in here. ❞   ❝ you know how to push my buttons. ❞   ❝ hey, don’t i get a say in this? ❞   ❝ you wouldn’t know proper manners if it slapped you in the face. ❞   ❝ i won’t forgive you, you bastard! ❞   ❝ why...why do you treat me the same as them? am i not your favourite? am i not special? ❞   ❝ at night, i hear wailing, as if ghosts roam the halls. ❞   ❝ quit your whining; we’re almost there! ❞   ❝ i’m afraid you can’t return to your old world any longer. ❞   ❝ how dare you bare your teeth at me. ❞   ❝ you couldn’t save them. they were already gone. ❞   ❝ in life and death, we give glory. ❞   ❝ can you even understand that humiliation?  ❞ ❝ even i can get angry. ❞   ❝ what the hell is that thing? ❞ ❝ we will meet again soon. ❞ ❝ let’s just say parts of the human imagination are better left alone. ❞ ❝ some treasures still lurk in this village. ❞ ❝ my decision is final. there will be no argument. ❞   ❝ everyone leaves me. even you. ❞   ❝ there is no safe! every sorry bastard out there has been ripped in half! ❞   ❝ come inside. the others are waiting. ❞   ❝ come with me. there’s something i have to tell you. ❞   ❝ what the hell is wrong with this place? ❞   ❝ the strong will destroy the weak. that’s the way of the world. ❞   ❝ no, we’re getting out of here --- together. ❞   ❝ but what i saw was...frightful. ❞ ❝ i suppose it’s what they call ‘the beauty of the grotesque’. ❞   ❝ you taught me so much and for that i will be forever in your debt. ❞   ❝ it is my curiosity that ties me to this place. ❞   ❝ please let me know if you’d like to strengthen your weapons. ❞ ❝ you’ll pay if i find out this is a lie. ❞ ❝ speaking of foolish questions, who --- what are you? ❞   ❝ if i don’t kill them then my life will never be my own. ❞   ❝ you are abominable. your deceit knows no bound. ❞   ❝ quit holding out, and get to the damn point! ❞ ❝ you’re the one who’s cursed. ❞ ❝ i hope you will be able to achieve your goal someday, too. ❞   ❝ that is why i had to leave you. i will regret never telling you goodbye. ❞   ❝ if i had but a little more time, i know i might be able to turn the tides of this battle. ❞   ❝ i can hear it shuffling about outside. ❞   ❝ and now you even try to steal my property? how dare you? ❞   ❝ ugh, just another simple little manthing. ❞   ❝ oh, good. i was just thinking of ways to pass the time. ❞ ❝ nowhere to go but up. ❞   ❝ where are you? show yourself! ❞ ❝ not without me, it’s too dangerous. ❞ ❝ shit, that was close. ❞   ❝ i heard explosions. what happened? ❞ ❝ you’ve dirtied my dress! ❞   ❝ you’re my daughter...now act like it! ❞   ❝ i don’t think we will make it through winter at this rate. ❞   ❝ the wounds are severe. i won’t last much longer. ❞   ❝ will you please stop talking in riddles? ❞   ❝ goddamn. it really is you. ❞ ❝ you sure of this? your body is, well, falling apart. ❞       ❝ how long have i been out? ❞   ❝ keep your distance. do not move until i give the order. ❞   ❝ i’ve got a tough guy here, i need some back-up! ❞   ❝ if my mom saw this shit, she’d think she’d died and gone to hell. ❞   ❝ shut your fucking hole! ...sorry about that. ❞   ❝ who are you? who sent you? ❞   ❝ please, be well. ❞   ❝ there’s more than we thought. watch out. ❞ ❝ to hunger...is to be alive. ❞   ❝ goddammit! why is everyone dying on me? ❞   ❝ hey! hey. don’t talk like that. ❞   ❝ my word, you truly are as strong as they say! ❞   ❝ don’t you love me? ❞   ❝ oh, you didn’t think i’d let you get away, did you? ❞   ❝ taken alive? dead? which would you prefer? ❞  
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can you please write an imagine for nigari?? he have a love/hate relationship with a girl where they throw shades to each other but they always have the other's back during games, and one day a guy flirts with her at the beach and he gets mad
I’d love to. Thanks for requesting! 😉
A Bullet Between The Eyes | Suguru Niragi
{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}
Character(s): Niragi (ft. OC’s)
Summary: Niragi and you have a bickering relationship with each other. One night a guy tries to buy you a drink, not noticing the psychotic man standing nearby.
Warning: a lot of swearing, smoking, violence, threatening
Word Count: 2.6k
*reader is female
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Niragi gif credit
Music was blaring through the speakers at the highest volume possible and made your ears almost bleed. You swore you could feel the bass in your bones, shaking them against each other to the beat. You had become immune to the deafening dubstep music and the annoying yells of everyone in the large crowd. People were pushed up close and personal to one another, grinding against each other like a pack of horny animals. It made you sick.
You leant against the neon-lighted bar that was fixated about twenty metres from the dance floor. You watched as people pushed each other into the pool nearby as you took a large puff from your cigarette. You had never smoked before being thrown into this horrific world, but the stress and worry brought you to consider the damaging habit.
“Bunch of idiots,” you muttered angrily under your breath. “How the fuck are they having fun? Do they not realize their brutal fates are waiting to creep up on them?”
Your close friend Sara sat in the stool beside you. She glanced at you and then in the direction you were staring. “I mean, I guess that’s why they’re having fun. They only have such a short life ahead of them,” she responded, turning back to the bar and taking a swig of her drink.
“I mean to be honest Y/N, I’m surprised you’re not letting loose of your cold attitude and having fun,” Sara stated over her shoulder to you.
You broke your gaze from everyone else and looked at her from the side. “Why is that?” you asked, curious as to what she meant.
She looked at you and smirked. “Don’t play dumb. I’ve seen you,” she chuckled.
“Huh?”
“You and that militant. You’ve been getting awfully close to the psychopath. When did it all start?” she sneered.
You pulled a confused expression before realizing what she was referring to. “Oh you mean Niragi,” you said, “We just help each other out at games, it increases our chance of surviving.” You brushed off her accusation and took another puff of your cigarette.
“Sorry if I’m being nosy, but it’s just strange,” Sara assured. “In the months I’ve been here, I’ve never seen Niragi warm up to someone. He’s always remained the same unempathetic, abusive bastard that I’ve always known.”
You stared at her side profile, not being too sure what to say.
You wouldn’t say that you had a good relationship with Niragi, considering the fact that he really did know how to push your buttons. If anything he was your enemy. But for some reason when you two were placed into the same groups to complete a game, you work together and against the others.
It was like he completely changed his persona from a cold-hearted prick to an overly protective (still a prick) figure. It gave you whiplash at times.
You let out a small chuckle and smirked at Sara. “And how would working with Niragi make me want to go and dance more Sara?” you questioned, going back to the topic you started at.
Sara turned herself around fully and stared you down right in the eyes. “All I’m saying is, if you’re looking for a quick way to die, keep sticking around Niragi. You know how he is Y/N, and when he gets the chance, he’ll put a bullet between your eyes with that rifle of his.”
She stood up off her stool and strutted towards the pool with her drink in her hand, probably to have some fun herself, considering the games were beginning in the next couple of hours. No one knew which night would be their last.
Your eyes followed her figure as she walked away. “Huh, maybe she’s just jealous,” you muttered.
You turned around and leaned over the bar, asking the bartender to make you a drink. The blonde girl nodded and got to mixing it for you. You sat in the seat that Sara previously was and let out a big sigh. You honestly were getting tired of the constant parties every single night, it was starting to get old.
No matter how hard you tried to ignore it, your mind kept bringing you back to what Sara was saying about Niragi and you. Was it really getting that obvious? Were other people noticing?
The bartender slid the drink towards you and you thanked her. You lifted the cold drink to your lips and tipped your head back, taking a big amount into your body. You wanted to be at least slightly intoxicated when the games start. It always helped ease your anxiety.
As your head began to feel heavier and your limbs became a bit numb, you noticed that the usual warm chatter that surrounded the neon bar had dissolved, almost to silence. You were confused, whipping your head around to see the cause.
You felt your face drop into a scowl as you noticed the familiar face that you hated so much. Niragi’s black and white button up turned turquoise from the lighting, and his eyes which were a deep dark black as he peered around the bar looking for something. You locked eyes with the all too familiar rifle that hung on his shoulders effortlessly, obviously just there for show. 
You pointed that out to him one time which ended with your back against a hallway wall and the barrel of the rifle pressed harshly against your temple with Niragi’s disgusting spit in your eye. “You still think it’s for show?” he hissed.
He tried so desperately to get you to be scared of him at The Beach. Why in the hell did that brutal and bully personality of his fade at the games?
You swiveled back around in your seat, facing your back towards the frightening man.
‘Why can’t he just fuck off,’ you thought to yourself. ‘Why do I have to run into him everyday.’ It was becoming a bit suspicious, the amount of times you would catch Niragi around the corner of a room you’re in. He would always play it off as by chance but you’ve begun to think otherwise.
A hand slowly placed itself on your bare lower back and someone leaned in close to your ear. “Hey there sweetheart, I’ve been looking for you all night. A little birdie told me you would be here,” you heard Niragi purr into your ear.
You cringed at his sickening sweet tone and turned away from him. You could smell the slight tang of metallic blood on him. He’d probably ‘took care’ of someone some time earlier.
“What the fuck do you want Niragi,” you growled, not looking him in the eye. Niragi chuckled at your tone.
“That’s not a very nice hello. I thought you would’ve warmed up to me by now. You seem to put an awful lot of trust in me at games.”
He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and pinched your earlobe gently between his thumb and index finger. You rolled your eyes into the back of your head in annoyance and slapped his hand away from your face.
“Piss off. If you’ve come here just to get on my nerves then you can beat it.” you spat at him harshly. He seemed taken back by your bold movements.
“Are you sure you want to speak to me that way? I might just leave you to die if you’re rude enough to me.” he snickered, keeping that smug smirk on his face that made you want to bash him over the head.
“So be it then, at least when I’m dead I won’t have to deal with your annoying ass.” You stuffed the rest of your cigarette into a tray on the table and stood up out of your seat to face the tall man head on.
He towered over you, that annoying and insolent smile never leaving his tanned face. Just his face alone created a rage in you that was indescribable.
“I don’t need some psychotic man with a machine gun to protect me Niragi. I am fine on my own. If anything, I could beat your cocky ass with my bare hands alone.”
“Well you seem awfully confident. Keep that same attitude when I have you cornered during a game, you might have to prove yourself right in order to survive.”
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s however you want to take it sweetie. A threat or a head-start.”
You frowned up at the man, not knowing how to respond. You walked back to the seat and grabbed your jacket that hung off it. “Have fun by yourself you prick. Why don’t you choose a fucking personality and stop switching between the two. You give me bloody whiplash.” You spat down at his feet, narrowly missing his shoe and marched away from him towards the pool to look for Sara.
You didn’t want to put up with his bullshit that night. You weren’t in the mood to start a verbal war with him, especially in front of everyone.
You found Sara sitting on the edge of the pool. There weren’t a lot of people around her, as everyone was either at the bar or on the dance floor.
You placed your hand gently on her shoulder and sat down next to her with your feet in the heated pool. It was a kind of awkward silence for a few moments before Sara spoke up.
“Sorry about before, I shouldn’t have assumed anything,” she started, looking into your eyes. “I understand that it must be hard for you, being the object of a psychotic man’s desires.” She said empathetically.
You appreciated her concern, as there were times where you were honestly scared for your life around Niragi. He really wasn’t the best person to be around, but you had already known that before you got closer with him. You never thought he would become as annoying and insistent as he had.
“I’m just worried about you. He’s a manipulative and untrustworthy person and I would hate to come back from a game one day to see your body with a bullet through your head.”
You stared into the water thinking about Sara’s words. “I know, I would hate that as well. I don’t trust him like that Sara. I would never put my own life in his hands, because I know he would hurt me with no remorse whatsoever.”
You both sat in silence for a bit with Sara leaning her head onto your shoulder. You wanted to spend this nice time together before leaving, just in case anything was to happen.
“I better go,” she announced after a while. She stood up and placed her hand on the top of your head. “Good luck Y/N. Make sure you don’t die out there. If anyone can survive, it’s you.”
You smiled at her words and looked up at her. “You too Sara. Love you.”
She said it back and then trudged off into the direction of the entrance to the hotel.
You wanted to be alone with your thoughts for a bit, but that didn’t last long when a tipsy young man with brown hair decided to plop himself right next to you, a little too close to just be friendly.
“Hey love! You’re looking awfully gorgeous tonight,” he beamed, placing an arm around your shoulder. You were taken back by his boldness, not knowing how to react.
“Oh, thanks I guess? I mean I’m dressed the same as I always am,” you said trying to keep the conversation light.
“Hmm really? Well I guess you’re just always gorgeous then,” he giggled and leaned closer to you.
You started to panic a little bit. This boy was a bit too flirty for his own good.
“Hey! Do you want to maybe come get a drink with me at the bar?” he asked in a cheery tone. You looked at him in shock and shook your head quickly. “No it’s fine really! I just had one so I don’t feel like another.” you insisted, laughing awkwardly.
“No really it’s fine! Actually you know what, I’ll grab it for you. You just wait here and I’ll be back soon,” he said with a big smile on his face. It seemed very contradicting to his pushy behaviour.
You started to get annoyed. “Please, it’s fine. I was just about to leave anyway,” you lied.
The young man still pushed. You found it quite pathetic really. Was he really that desperate?
Before you could even say anything else, you suddenly saw the man fly sideways and land in the pool. Your mouth fell open in shock and you watched as he came back to the surface gasping for air. “What the fuck? Who was that?!” he yelled out frustratingly. Everyone around the pool had gone silent to see what the commotion was.
You looked back to the side of the pool to see none other than Niragi himself who had a proud smile on his face. “It was me you little bitch.” The young man’s eyes widened in fear.
“Are you sure you want to go flirting around with a militant’s woman? You might just be looking to get your head blown off!” Niragi cackled psychotically. “Go find your own toy to play with.”
Niragi aimed his rifle towards the man and everyone surrounding the pool panicked and ducked down. The man screamed in fear and started yelling to do anything that might spare his life.
“My deepest apologies Niragi! I didn’t know she was with you! I promise I’ll stay away from her from now on!”
You felt somewhat belittled. How dare he apologize to Niragi but not you. You were the one that got harassed.
Niragi let out a giggle and pulled the trigger of his rifle. The deafening sound rang in your ears and you watched as the bullet narrowly missed the young man’s head by an inch, creating a splash in the water next to him.
Niragi kneeled down with an evil smile on his face and harshly gripped the boy by his hair to lift him closer to his face. “If you ever touch her again, I won’t hesitate to put multiple bullets between those annoying ass eyes of yours. You understand?” He growled.
“Yes! I understand sir! I promise!” the boy cried desperately.
Niragi let go of his hair and watched as he swam to the left of him to scramble out of the pool and sprint away from him towards the dance floor. Probably to hide among other people so if Niragi changed his mind about sparing him he would be harder to find.
You breathed heavily in shock, not believing what you just witnessed.
“What the fuck was that?!” you yelled at Niragi. He looked down at you with an emotionless expression.
“Huh?”
“That was so over dramatic! Niragi I don’t know if you know this, but we’re not together! We’re not even friends! You can’t go around threatening anyone who lays eyes on me!”
Niragi rolled his eyes and kneeled down to get closer to your face. “Look, that idiotic boy was just trying to get into your pants. He didn’t want anything else from you. I just did you a favor, you should be thanking me!” he exclaimed.
You furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance. “I was very aware of that fact Niragi, but I had it under control!”
“Did you really Y/N? Because from the way you were shaking it didn’t seem like you did.”
You stared into his deep, evil eyes. For once, you actually felt small underneath his gaze.
“Whatever, I’m going back to my room.” You stood up from your position and scurried away from the scene. As much as you hated to admit it, you were partly grateful to Niragi from saving you from that situation. You would never admit it to him though. You just wish he didn’t do it with so much aggression.
“Would you like me to walk you back-”
“Niragi! Fuck off!”
Author’s Note: Sorry this one took a while anon. I really hope it’s what you wanted!
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jin0 · 2 years
Text
Chapter 3 : What about me ?
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Summary : You were gone now. So what could he do to fix it and mend his broken heart ?
Pairing : Prince to King!Steve x Knight!Reader, Platonic Prince!Bucky x Knight!Reader
Warnings : 18+, Minors DNI, angst, smut, power dynamic, modern royal au, groveling cause im angsty like that, sad stevie
A/N : im going to watch nwh !!!! im so fucking happy bro I can't wait !!!
Knight In Shining Armor Masterlist
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The first thing Steve had done, the morning you left, was check his phone for you phone number. He needed to call you, to hear you and to apologize. Maybe the you would consider coming back. Making you leave was absolutely not his intentions, far from that, it was the complete opposite. He wanted you to stay and stay for long. Maybe he could’ve communicated it better, maybe he could’ve been a little nicer with you, stopped treating you like you were his personal thing, maybe he could’ve done a lot of things differently, and he would make sure to correct all that once you accepted to communicate with him, gave him another chance.
When he saw you had blocked his number, that’s when his reality started to set in his mind. You were gone, off to another kingdom, one that he wasn’t unfamiliar with and that he could still visit if he truly wanted to see you so bad, but still not his. And that was the problem. You were not his anymore, your weren’t his knight anymore, he had pushed you too far, putting himself first, and you simply decided to let go. You let go because he pushed you to, didn’t respect your boundaries and let fear set in your mind, not because of his words, but because of four years of actions that had spoken louder than he ever would.
Despite already thinking of a thousand and one solution to do better, Steve still had the capacity to be greedy. Because he already knew that the memories you left him with weren’t enough. He needed you back here, lingering around him and molding him to believe that you both could not really be separated, this was too strange of a thing.
He had grown to see the two of you as a package deal, needing to feel you around him or his day would be ruined. He would be the prince and future king the kingdom knew him to be and you would protect him while he did that, preventing any arm to be made over him while also keeping him grounded and calling him out on his behavior when it was needed.
He had taken those moments for granted, spending as much time possible annoying you by making you do things you weren’t really here to do. He knew you were good, you were the best even. He had seen you train multiple time and each time felt prouder and prouder to be able to call you his knight. But he never truly let you be anything other than a babysitter for him, and that thought made him feel nauseous.
The violence at which all his acts came crashing in his face was making him dizzy. As he sat on the floor, looking around his room he grew to resent the voice in his head that told him that you would find better than him somewhere else. That somewhere being his best friend’s kingdom. Bucky the Great.
The part that hit him the hardest was remembering the fact that above all else, you still found nice words to leave him. It was great to work for you Stevie. Bullshit. He wasn’t stupid, maybe a little slow, but not stupid. Working for him was hell, he was childish, arrogant, cocky, even disrespectful at times. All those things you hated with a passion. So why did you take the time to lie to him and tell him it was great when it wasn’t ? You, the most honest person he knew. Was his ego that fragile to you that you would be okay with lying to yourself, to protect him still ? He would’ve preferred to have you write a heartfelt letter depicting how much of a fucking prick he was and telling him to go suck a butt. But you didn’t, you kept it short, simple, classy, just like you.
God, he really was a fucking idiot sometimes.
~
Like expected, the next few weeks were the worst for the entirety of the castle, and that was due to the prince’s foul mood. The young man clearly was not taking the loss of his knight well and made everyone feel it. With time everyone started to crave your absence just as much as he did, often praying that you would visit and help settle his behavior.
The first week, he spent in his room and refusing to get out, see anyone or do anything. The second week was when everything started to get bad for everyone. He had decided to leave his room on his own and while he was at it buried himself in work. He had left his room to go lock himself in his office, and that lasted more that a singular week.
He had always hated being disturbed, you truly were the only one who could come in and out of the office as you pleased. Not even his parents or Bucky had this privilege. He would sometimes have you sit on the side while he took care of paperwork and when he felt exhaustion, he would have you stand between his legs as he hugged your chest. You would run your hands in his hair and get rid of the exhaustion so that he could keep working.
Those days, he would fall asleep on his desk so you always kept a few pillows and covers around. You would cover him and let him sleep, sticking around to make sure no one disturbed him. Sometimes he would wake up at the latest hours of the night, or the morning depending on how you took things, and he would find you sitting there, reading or watching him silently. You looked exhausted but you never complained. Those were the moments that reminded him that you were not his assistant or his caretaker, but a night trained to protect him.
When thinking about these moments he could clearly see now, why you cared so much about staying around and watching over him. Despite it being exhausting, you still kept yourself in a perfect posture, waiting in silence. Those were the moments that made you feel like your training mattered, like your work was actually purposeful. Because obviously, he didn’t do a good job at that.
During those days he spent hiding in his office, he had practically fired a good dozen employees for simply knocking on the door. His temper, which was already bothersome while you were here, had gotten ten times worst. He refused to be talked to or even looked at. The rudeness of his answers often left people speechless. He would’ve never behaved like that if you were around and he knew it. He needed everyone to feel how much your absence was affecting him.
It was around the fifth week that his parents decided that it was time for him to find a new person knight, and that was when all hell broke loose. For the first time in his life, Steve found himself resenting not just his parents, but his royal titles. It was part of the protocol for him to have a knight that would follow him at all times. The idea had not bothered him before but now this place was yours, and yours only. No one would replace you.
He could still hear the argument between him and his parents. He knew they were right but fuck, accepting was so painful.
“What do you mean, ‘you need to find a new knight' ?” Snarled the young prince
His father, King Joseph Rogers the First, was already feeling the headache as he looked over at his wife and then back to his son.
“You know the rules and how protocol works son. You need a knight, your mother has one, I have one, and you need to find a new one. I understand that your Knight's departure is effecting you a lot but you cannot risk your safety.” Explained Joseph calmly
He looked at them with a frown, one that clearly expressed his opinion on the idea. It had only been five weeks, how could they talk about replacing you.
“I won’t replace her.” His voice was cold and cut through the silence like a freshly sharpened knife.
“Steve-“
“I won’t replace her. Don’t ask me to because I won’t.”
Joseph threw another look in his wife’s direction. Hopefully she had a solution, she always managed to get him to listen at least. She was his mother after all.
She stepped forward, leaning on the desk, her arms crossed and a frown on her face, mirroring her son’s. In those moments, Joseph would remember the way she used to be before becoming Queen. The irony.
“Is this the attitude you’re going to have Steven ? For how long exactly ? Days ? Weeks ? Months ?” Asked Sarah, sarcasm dripping from her words
The young prince could feel in her tone that she was not joking around or in any mood to do that. He could feel her cold glare and straitened his posture on the seat.
“You drove this girl absolutely mad and now you’re acting like a literal child because she decided that she deserved more than what you could offer ? Is that the problem ? The fact that she values herself more that you dud bothers you Steven ? Is that why you’ve been throwing tantrums all day and treating the employees like absolute garbage ? Is that the reason of your mood dear ?”
Her tone sounds sweet but he knows better, she’s mocking his childishness. And she’s definitely right to do so. Because if not her, no one will. It doesn’t stop him from raising his eyes at her, challenging her to keep going. And if there’s one thing about Sarah Rogers ? It’s that if she’s got something to say, she will say it. And with the class of a Queen but the fury of a Persian army.
“Listen to me Steven Grant Rogers. What you did to that girl is no short of stupid. You took pleasure in annoying her day and night with your overnight guests, taking her for your caretaker when you knew better. And how do I know that you knew better ? Well it’s because your father and I we raised you. Raised you to be kind and honest with yourself and others.”
Despite the calmness in her voice, he could feel the anger she put in each words, choosing them carefully to have the maximum impact on his ego.
“You deserve more than her quitting and honestly, we all expected her to quit earlier. It would’ve only been fair considering the constant disrespect you subjected her to. She’s never complained, always reporting to us with kind words about you, hell she even wrote a detailed plan on how to handle you ! And you refuse to at least respect her last work because you’re mad at her for standing her ground !? Absolutely not !” She exclaimed
She turned towards the desk, picked up a folder and marched towards him, dropping it on his lap.
“You will take this folder, read it through and select your protector. Let that be a lesson that when you love someone, you tell them with actual words and not with very questionable tactics who’s efficiency is even more questionable. Now go on.”
Her words had resonated so loud in his mind for so long that he felt like she had become his conscious. He genuinely couldn’t blame her for being angry at him, he would be angry too if it had been someone else. The problem was that he couldn’t help the way he felt about his actions. He was ashamed and she had brought it all up and slammed it in his face.
When he had thought about it, repeated his actions out loud, he started to bang his head against the desk. Each one of them felt more and more stupid. He clearly should’ve tried that earlier, describing his plans out loud. Because it didn’t take a genius mind to figure out the stupidity in them. They all sucked and made absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever so where did he find the confidence to follow through with them ?
He didn’t really have the time nor the energy to think about that anyway because he had a folder to read through. When he opened it and saw that the majority of the content was from you, he let out a sight, rubbing the annoyance off his face. You had been the one to make the selection for your replacement. All the people in the list, you had mentioned them before in training. Actually, you had even made offhand comments about how they would’ve been good replacement for you if something happened to you or if you left. He had brushed the idea off, thinking of it as your way if saying that he was annoying. He probably should’ve been listening more carefully.
As he started to narrow the list down to a few names and interviewed the ones that seemed to fit the most he understood why you were considered the best. These people were absolutely boring. He had never met that many people who looked and sounded the same, all sharing practically the same answers to his questions, even the most stupid.
“What do you think would be the most appropriate to finding a girl in my bed ?”
“What would you do if you ever saw me disrespect the staff in the castle ?”
“What is my favorite color for a turtleneck ?”
“How many sweaters is too much ?”
He kept on making the requirements practically impossible, because you were the standard and he was going to make sure that you knew it. The world was going to know that after you, there was no one. He knew it was probably not the right way to do things considering the fact that he actually needed a knight and that you had taken the time to make both a selection and a guide to navigating life as Prince Steve’s bodyguard but he simply couldn’t let you think that it was going to be that easy. Not when that would mean, to him at least, that you were leaving his heart too.
~
With time he ended up accepting the idea of finding a new knight.
Actually no, he still resented the idea but after successfully rejecting the majority of the list, his parents caught up to his scheme and took the matter in their own hands. They picked someone that was perfect on paper but that Steve couldn’t fucking stand. His name was John Walker and God, was the guy boring.
On the list you had put a note saying that Steve would most likely hate the guy and to pick him as a last resort because despite being the blandest person the world had known, he was good with protocol. The problem was that while Steve was the Prince, he didn’t care much about protocol. He knew about it and how it worked, followed it well, but you still valued his freedom and let him do things that he enjoyed. Maybe that’s why he had been so childish, because you let him do what he wanted while keeping him in line. John simply didn’t let him do any of that.
Steve was debating whether or not he should push the man out the window, when he mentioned something that caught his interest.
“Prince James and his guard are going to be visiting soon. He’s recently finished his tour and wanted to have a meeting with you.”
Ah… Right… The tour. Steve had done it a while ago, on your first year as his knight actually. The point was to meet the royal heirs of all neighborhood kingdoms, to form alliances and good relationships. It had started a week after you had left and for the next months you were roaming the world with his best friend. This had a way of sending spikes of jealously in his stomach. Because that meant you spent months in close proximity with Bucky the Great, and that was an actual threat.
You deserved someone like Bucky, someone who would tell you he loves you the minute he figures it out and would treat you like you deserved for as long as oxygen ran through his lunges. You deserved someone who would value your work and your capacities, someone who would challenge you with things that actually mattered and helped you better yourself, even it though he would argue that you were more than perfect. All that you deserved and he was scared of giving it to you.
Steve let out a sight and rubbed his face, he was already exhausted and the day had just begun.
“Tell him that I’ll be there. At our spot. And since I know you’ll probably insist on being there, you'll be staying a few thousand feet away. I don’t want you listening to our conversation.” Ordered Steve, sternly
John was clearly not happy about the order but he couldn’t just say no so he just nodded.
~
For the rest of the day, Steve was jittery like a child that had too much sugar. He kept on bouncing his leg in expectation for Bucky’s arrival. His parents had heard about the visit and decided to organize something last minute. He begged them to not have another party as these ones didn’t necessarily have the best impact on him for the past few months but agreed to a small dinner with a few people. Bucky was always welcomed like a son and he would always love them for that. Making his best friend feel like home even when he wasn’t.
When the hour came, he was standing besides a river. That’s where James became Bucky to him, and where they had become the best of friends. Steve was scared of strangers, and Bucky kept on following him like a little spy because he was curious about the little boy that seemed in a hurry to disappear. They had bounded over Bucky getting hurt all the time and Steve not really being able to because, according to him, with his size and weight it would’ve probably killed him. That was kinda creepy but kids will be kids I guess ?
“See you still like to act like you’re in a soap opera and look in the distance mysteriously.”
Steve smiled and mumbled a ‘stupid jerk’ under his breath. He turned around and welcomed his best friend in his arms, holding him tight. When they separated the looked at each other thoroughly, studying each other’s appearance. They hadn’t changed much in those months that separated their last encounter, just a little more built but not much. Both had kept practically weekly community anyways.
“Look at you not looking like absolute shit ! And me who expected to see you all dirty and smelling like absolute garbage, did you clean up just for me ? I’m flattered buddy, very flattered.” Joked the brunette
“Yeah yeah, keep stalling. You won’t stop me from asking. How was the tour ?”
“Well great you know, good for most. Peter’s still annoying, Sam too, did I tell you he tried to drown me in a swamp ? Really wasn’t fun. Most I already knew so not much work. Spent most of the time sight seeing with-“
The brunette cut himself from saying anything. He knew about his best friend’s suffering, he knew about it all. Steve who always had everything under control called him crying while drunk one night. He had stayed silent the whole time, listening to his friend talk. Clearly he needed too because he talked for about forty minutes nonstop. He even had to remind him to breath, he could hear him hyperventilating and that worried him a little. Steve truly needed you.
Steve, smiled sadly at Bucky’s behavior. He had done a good job at punishing everyone who mentioned you. So much that now, most either didn’t mention you, or they would use nicknames and make sure he wasn’t anywhere around.
“You can talk about her you know ? I was going to ask you anyways…” Said Steve softly
Bucky let out a sight. This probably would not be the best thing to do, told him his instinct. Good thing he enjoyed going against it.
“She’s… She’s fine… Settled well. My parents love her, always asking to have her sit with us for dinner. My sisters like her too. Becca’s thinking of taking the Widow training because of her, and you’ve seen Becca with a weapon. She cut herself with a butter knife remember ?”
The chuckle let out by Bucky did not make Steve react. He was too focused on the fact that you had settled so well in the Barnes family. Was it that easy for you to move on ? Was it that easy for you to forget him after so little time ? Maybe he was being over dramatic, you weren’t dead or in the Himalayas after all. And the two of you didn’t really have much of a relationship so his reaction probably was very disproportionate.
He just needed to know. Know that maybe you were feeling like him, a little sad at least.
“Does she talk about me ?”
Bucky’s sad look answered for him. Honestly Steve didn’t want the answer anymore. He was better off not knowing.
“She… She makes comments… About things you used to do… But that’s often because I mention you.” Answered Bucky
Maybe he shouldn’t have felt a glimmer of hope but he did. And the way his eyes lit up, he looked like Christmas tree. Bucky could see it, it made him happy to know that. The thing is, he forgot to mention that the look on your face when he had mentioned him wasn’t one of happiness. You didn’t look like you both had shared something. You looked like you were indifferent, not showing any kinds of emotion and when you did it seemed like annoyance. It hit him so fast when he noticed that he kept it to himself and moved to another subject. From then on he rarely mentioned Steve. Hell, he was practically sure he would have to go to Brooklyn on his own if you hadn’t told him you would be fine.
“Listen Steve, maybe you should try an-“
“Bucky ? Where are you ?” Screamed a voice not too far
Both the man froze on the spot when they heard it. Your voice. Bucky looked at Steve discretely, studying his expression. Okay he didn’t look too bad ! That was a good sign !
Nah, I’m definitely lying. Steve looked like a deer caught in headlight. Bucky was practically sure that he had stopped breathing and his suspicions were confirmed when he tapped his shoulder and the blond male inhale as much air as his lunges would allow. Well, this would either go horribly wrong or scarily well.
“Doll ? I’m over here !”
The brunette prince stood up to go and find you. You had been looking for him for a little while now, he didn’t usually disappear like that. When you saw him, you jogged in his direction but stopped in your track when you saw who was behind. And clearly he had noticed you too because he was staring. You saw him stand up and without noticing took a step back, stopping him in his action.
“Doll ? You’re okay ?” Asked Bucky, slightly worried. He wasn’t going to deal with two frozen idiots today.
You shook your head and smiled as if nothing happened.
“Huh… I- I wanted to show you something that Natasha gave me ? For Becca ! It’s about the Widow training, if she’s still interested. Also the chef, she gave me pastries for us to go home with, I think your dad would like some. They’re not too sweet so that’s good, and I have enough for an entire week so I wanted to share.”
Bucky smiled at you, he was happy to see how comfortable you were around him despite Steve now he knew things probably wouldn’t feel the same on Steve’s side.
He saw you soft uncomfortably before you turned to the blond, still standing in the back, a soft smile on your face.
“Good evening Prince Steven”
….
That.
That definitely hurt.
Hearing you address him so professionally, like he was just Prince Steven to you ? That was definitely cold.
“Bucky, we have to go soon so I’m going back inside to say goodbye okay ?”
The young prince smiled before watching you run back inside. He turned to Steve, still smiling sadly at his best friend. He wished he could tell him something that would reassure him but he couldn’t, not much would do the trick anyways and sometimes it was better to keep quiet.
“You can go back inside Buck, I’ll be fine. I can handle myself remember ?” The sad smile on his face was so visible, he felt stupid trying to lie
“Yeah but that doesn’t mean you have to pal… I can try to help. Tell me what you need and you got it.”
“No, don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine. I… I just need to talk to my parents for a bit, that’ll help." Said the blond man, rubbing his nape. "Really Buck, go back inside. Don’t make her wait. Just… Tell her that it was good to see her.”
Not insisting further, Bucky ran to his best friend to give him a hug before running in the opposite direction, leaving Steve behind.
Move ! Do something ! Run after her and talk !
His instinct was screaming. Begging him to do something, anything but to not let you go without at least letting you know that he was sorry. His instinct was strong, but clearly not enough. Because he didn’t move a muscle, stayed in place and let time pass. He wasn’t going to go after you. Not when he needed to figure his shit out first. And that he knew how he would do. He would give you time and take his time too. He needed to think, and really think this time. Then maybe he would allow himself to go to you.
_________________________________________
TAGLIST ! :
@becca-e-barnes ,@ilymarkchan ,@everythingbutnormal
106 notes · View notes
restapesta · 3 years
Note
23. Don’t you get it? You’re the only one I can be honest with.
Mickey takes being alone with Ian for granted. He really does.
It's quite sad he only realizes that when he's not alone with his ginger life companion—specifically when he's stuck in a moving car with him and fucking Phillip, feeling like a pussy for not having the guts to just open the door and jump out.
Did Ian put child's lock on his door, what the fuck?
He can't do this. It's a fifteen-minute ride to the Gallagher house and Mickey won't be able to survive it. No fucking way. Why did Ian have to say yes to picking Lip up from work? Did he know what hell he would be putting his poor husband through, huh?
If college bitch says something about his shitty delivery job one more time, he swears to God—
"And you know what the best part about this shitty delivery job is?" No. Please, God, make him stop. "Bathroom? Doesn't even fucking exist,"
If Mickey had a gun, he'd stuff it in his mouth.
From the corner of his eye, Mickey sees Ian's gripping the wheel slightly tighter, his knuckles turning white, his tongue bitten between his slightly clenched teeth. Sadly, only Mickey can see him be so frustrated from the passenger seat. He wishes Lip would lean over from the back and see how fucking annoying he really is with his constant babbling.
Maybe it's good he didn't bring a gun with him—Ian looks like he'd wanna stuff it in his mouth, too.
Does he have child's lock on?
"Anyways," Lip breathes out and Mickey focuses on the buzzing of the AC so he wouldn't have to endure the brainwashing his brother-in-law's—why him?—voice is doing.
Ian seems to be thinking the same thing, his eyes rolling discreetly to the back of his head, staying there for a moment or two.
Mickey's torn between telling him to keep his eyes on the goddamn road or just letting him crash their new car into a pole. At least then they wouldn't have to listen to the yapping that's filling every nook and cranny of the fresh interior.
Their car had never seemed so small. Since when is Mickey so claustrophobic? There used to be so much room.
Oh right, Lip's ego is taking up most of it. How could Mickey forget?
"Oh, yeah," He says suddenly, and Ian and Mickey share a look. What now? Will he ever stop? "I meant to ask you about your meds, Ian. You told me you were visiting your doctor or some shit like that."
Mickey reclines back in his seat, lips pursing as he waits for Ian to fill Lip in on the new prescription and its side effects, and whatever other shit Mickey's already got written down in the notes on his phone from when Ian told him in detail about it.
He had been pretty down when he came home from seeing his doctors, listing off all of the shit he was worried about with the new therapy and adjusting to it. He even had a couple of sleepless nights that resulted in him seeking out different pharmacies to buy sleeping pills, which ultimately led to a night of sleepless vomiting because the cocktail of pills didn't really bode well for Ian's stomach.
Mickey doesn't mind reliving it. Doesn't mind listening to his husband talk about the things important to him and things that Mickey should know about.
And, truthfully, Mickey's already come face to face with the fact that he likes knowing about all of Ian's shit—they're already living, sleeping, and working together, so the prospect of knowing that new meds give Ian diarrhea if they're taken on an empty stomach doesn't really seem like a TMI-type of thing to know.
When Ian's related, nothing and everything is pretty much TMI.
"Oh," Ian responds after a moment of silence. His eyes aren't focused when Mickey turns to look at him. It seems as if he's racking his brain around for the proper words, yet can't seem to find them. Eventually, he just lets out, "Everything's the same. Nothing new."
Mickey knows that's not true.
"Didn't you say you were being put on some new shit?" Lip's confused. Mickey is too.
Ian was put on new shit. Shit that landed him with a week of goddamn exhaustion and a fucked-up stomach.
"No. It's the same."
"Oh," Lip mutters. "Okay then."
And he continues to go into another monologue about why being a delivery boy is such a shitty job to have with a mind of his.
Mickey stares at Ian's side profile for as long as it takes him to turn around and meet his eye. It takes him long—in fact, Mickey's pretty sure Ian won't be turning around any time soon.
Why would he lie? Why would he hide the fact he did change his meds when it's really not that big of a deal?
Mickey's even more confused by it because Ian had ranted about his doctor's appointment the day of it, nearly talking Mickey's ear off. He had been annoyed, relieved, and worried, all at the same time, and the entire Tuesday was just spent with them talking about bipolar like the mundane thing it was.
So, why wouldn't Ian just want to retell that shit again? It wasn't as if he didn't still have frustrations over it. Not like he wouldn't fucking jump on the chance to talk about his biggest concerns the second the opportunity presented itself.
Why then?
Lip's still talking and Ian's still not looking at him.
Mickey places a gentle hand on his thigh, trying to get his attention. In response to Mickey's thumb running over his husband's jeans, Ian just places a hand on top of his, picking it up and raising it to his mouth until the rough skin meets the smoothness of his lips. When he finally looks at him, there's a plead in his eye. An answer to Mickey's unasked question.
Later.
"Ugh, can you guys not do that here? Since when did you become that couple?"
They both ignore the dumbass in the backseat of their car. Ian turns to look ahead, and he pushes his foot down visibly on the gas pedal, and Mickey knows that the time until they're able to drop Lip off is cutting shorter.
"You guys are really annoying with that mind-reading shit, you know that?"
Mickey breathes in deeply.
Five more minutes. Just five more minutes and they'll be alone.
Ian's hand doesn't disentangle from his, but Mickey does move them so they're laying on top of his leg, palms pressed tightly together. He squeezes at it once.
Ian squeezes back.
There's a faint mumble from the back.
"I fucking hate being the third wheel."
Mickey barely stops himself from jumping into Ian's lap, just in spite.
Instead, with his free hand, he just flips him off.
---
They're driving to their place when Mickey finally asks the question. They've been alone for a couple of minutes now, after a prolonged—much to both their dismays—goodbye to Lip in front of the Gallagher house. As soon as it was appropriate to, Ian peeled out of the driveway, putting as much distance between him and his family—his annoying-ass brother—as he possibly could in a record time.
At first, Mickey fiddled with the radio until he landed on some radio station that played pop-shit music, lowering the volume until the Taylor Swift song—he hates that he knows it—was just a hum filling the silence. Ian isn't speaking, but he doesn't seem tense.
He seems just as always, shoulders even further relaxed—slumped, actually, because he has the posture of a question mark—now that Lip is out of the car and in the hands of the others to deal with.
"So," Mickey starts casually when his weirdo of a partner starts singing lowly to Lover on the radio. It's a song they only listen to when they're feeling sappier than usual, but Ian tends to always be sappy, so none of this sweet singing shit was a surprise for Mickey. The lyrics coming out of Ian's mouth still make his chest swell pleasantly, despite him barely holding himself back from rolling his eyes. "What was that?"
"Hm?" Ian's eyes momentarily move to eye Mickey. They go back almost immediately. "What was what?"
"What was that thing with Lip?" The question isn't meant to be judgmental nor accusing. Mickey really is just curious.
It wasn't him whom Ian had lied to. But why did he lie in the first place?
Ian shrugs, lowering the volume with the switch on the wheel even further until they can barely hear the soft voice.
"I just didn't feel like telling him." Is the simple reply.
"Why?"
"Because."
"Ian."
"Mickey—"
"Come on, man, don't give me that bullshit."
"I'm not—I don't," He exhales roughly as if finally forcing himself to admit to something he doesn't want to admit to. "I don't like anybody knowing about it. It's nobody's business but my own."
Mickey makes a face, still confused as fuck. He gets the reasoning behind the words, but it's just not clicking in his brain. Maybe Lip really did brainwash it. "You say you don't like anybody knowing, but you told me."
Ian glances away from the road and sends Mickey the type of look that says he thinks what Mickey just said was the dumbest thing possible. It's incredulous.
"You're not anybody, Mick."
And that's sweet and all, but—
"Lip's not anybody either."
Ian sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, dramatically exasperated. "Don't you get it, Mickey? You're the only one I can be honest with. Completely transparent."
Mickey doesn't know why he's still pushing, but fuck, there's no way. "You can be transparent with Lip. He'll hear you out, give you advice. Won't judge you." Why is he defending Lip again? "I'm not the only one who understands."
"Yeah, but you're the only one who isn't annoying about it. If I wanted Lip to know, I would've called him straight away. But instead, I talked to you. Mickey, you're a dumbass if you don't see that you're the only one I want to tell."
Well fuck.
Mickey blinks. He actually is a dumbass, but that's already been genetically proven. This is something else.
Mickey feels Ian's words deep in his chest. His heart jumps to his throat—it's one of the best things Ian could've said to him. It doesn't feel fucking real.
"Really?" He asks pathetically. It's not like Ian would lie; he's always had a knack for saying everything that's on his mind. Mickey loves that about him right now. It's just that—Mickey? He wants to tell Mickey about it and nobody else?
Ian smiles at him. "Really, babe," Mickey blushes as the nickname. "You know just how many questions to ask. When to listen and when to talk. When to give me advice and when to tell me to get out of my own head." Ian's eyebrows furrow. "Lip doesn't know how to do that. Not like you—"
No. Mickey will not cry. No. It's just eyeball sweat.
"—With you, I know that I can say whatever is on my mind and won't feel like shit about it. It's fucking liberating, having somebody like that."
Mickey breathes in deeply. Fuck Ian for using his words like this and making his heart squeeze impossibly. Why is he so fucking perfect all the fucking time?
How did Mickey get so fucking lucky?
"Yeah," He responds dumbly, out of breath—because it legit is logged up in his throat at the moment. He clears it. "I guess that's what best friends are for."
And the grin Ian sends him in response to the sheepishly-said sentence is enough to make butterflies explode inside Mickey's belly—ugh, no, he's supposed to be past that stage, for fuck's sake.
Ian's still grinning as Mickey's whole face probably turns the shade of Ian's favorite vegetable—maybe that's why Ian likes it when Mickey blushes—and he has to avert his gaze so he doesn't go even redder than Ian's hair.
"Best friends? I feel honored, Mick."
"Shut up."
"No, for real."
"Shut up."
Ian laughs and spares Mickey the embarrassment by raising the volume up on the radio, the song now booming loudly through the space.
Ian glances over at Mickey right as he starts singing it joyfully, a wide smile on his face. This is the Ian Mickey knows and loves—happy Ian.
Mickey's favorite Ian after the horny one.
Mickey's chest swells with pride. He ended up with Ian. The Ian who loves him unconditionally; who knows just the right to say and when to say it; who just told him Mickey's the only one he can be real with.
I can only be honest with you, too. He wants to tell him. I only am honest with you.
Instead of saying the words, he starts singing himself, and the screeching voices of two men stupidly in love are seeping out of the slightly opened windows, the wind whooshing them away.
I can only do this with you, Mickey thinks. I'm only this free with you.
Judging by the way Ian's smiling, Mickey guesses he's thinking the same thing, too.
"Darling, you're my, my, my, my lover."
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collecting-stories · 3 years
Text
She’s Kinda Hot - Sarah Cameron
Request: omg i really wish i could write but, can you do one with sarah and kind of like kie reader(rich but hang out with the pogues)where they are enemies and are stuck together for a project and the reader keeps annoying sarah to make her mad and the reader tells sarah she’s hot when she’s mad and then they end up getting together or something. sorry this is really long this is also my first time requesting so i’m kinda new lo
A/N: I really freaking love Sarah Cameron. That is all. Enjoy the fic. 
Outer Banks Masterlist
✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰
Sarah was pretty sure that there was one of those personal rain clouds hanging directly over her head as she sat in math class with you. Who even assigned school projects in math class? Wasn’t that kind of thing reserved for english or science? But no, her math teacher...your math teacher...decided that a project to highlight Women in Math was a brilliant idea for Women’s History Month and, in an even greater stroke of genius, she stuck Sarah and you together as partners. It was all your fault really, that was all Sarah kept thinking as she stared across the classroom at the side of your head. That if you hadn’t walked into class late, in the middle of assignments, Sarah would’ve ended up with the next person alphabetically behind Cameron. Instead, she was stuck with you. 
“Why don’t we just split the assignment into parts and then put it together at the end?” Sarah suggested, after the bell rang and she managed to chase you down the hall of the kook academy to your locker.  
“Why not just work together?” You replied, shrugging a shoulder as if it shouldn’t be the worst thing that could ever happen to Sarah to be paired together for the project.
“I’d rather not.”
“Cause you broke up with me-”  
Sarah hushed you immediately, covering your mouth with her hand and looking back and forth down the crowded hallway. “You know what happened!”  
You pushed Sarah’s hand away and rolled your eyes, “well too bad princess, I need this grade so you’re gonna have to deal with seeing me.” You said, “everyday. After school.”  
“That’s bullshit,” Sarah snapped, following after you when you shut your locker and started down the hallway to your next class, “you do not need that fucking grade! You’re at like, the top of the class.”  
“Are you the teacher?” you asked, looking back at her. “Don’t worry Sarah, I promise I’ll stay six feet away and I won’t try to tempt you. Wouldn’t want anyone to find out you’re into girls.” You said, whispering the last part so only she could hear it.  
Sarah stopped in her tracks, watching you walk the rest of the way to your class. She wanted to scream after you, that wasn’t the reason. That wasn’t why she’d totally annexed you from her life. It wasn’t just that she knew this project was going to get her in deep shit, it was that she was one hundred percent positive that she would not be able to work with you without letting her feelings get the better of her.  
It wasn’t like the kook academy was a big place, there wasn’t exactly room to avoid you completely, but Sarah had done a pretty decent job so far. Even when the two of you crossed paths in class, and it happened more than Sarah would’ve preferred, she managed to keep herself away from you. At least until now, she was stuck with you as her partner for some ridiculous math project. She’d been banking on you wanting as little to do with her as she tried to have with you but instead you seemed totally fine. Unbothered by everything that went down between the two of you.  
She thought about asking Kiara what she would do but Sarah could already hear her best friend telling her that she wasn’t going to take sides. Kiara was friends with both of you and the most advice she would ever offer was “I don’t get what happened between you two anyway”.  
No, asking Kiara wouldn’t work. Sarah would have to resign herself to this project. She could this. It was just a three-week project. She could survive three weeks with you.  
“Hey, if I get lunch, what’d’ya want?” You asked, hanging your head off of Sarah’s bed and holding your phone out so you could tap through your doordash app.  
Sarah wanted to scream, it was still half-way through the first week and you had been to her house three times in as many days, spending your after-school hours driving her crazy. She was pretty sure that you were doing this on purpose.  
“It’s almost 5:30,” Sarah replied, not looking up from her laptop, “I think lunch is over.”
“Dinner then.” You said.  
“No. I don’t want dinner.” She snapped, “and I don’t want lunch or whatever else...I just want to finish this project.”
“We’ve got like, two weeks left Sarah,” you pointed out, rolling over onto your stomach and looking at her across the room, “just chill out.”  
You knew you were pushing Sarah’s buttons but you couldn’t help it. When things between the two of you had gone bad, when she’d told you that it was over and, worse than that, it was a mistake, you had been heartbroken. There wasn’t a better word for it. You hated how upset you’d been after Sarah broke it off with you but when things settled, you couldn’t deny that there was still something there. Little looks, fleeting in the hallway, moments you caught her staring and you knew she caught you too. It felt like boiling tension, the same way it had before, when you’d gotten together.  
“Chill out?” She huffed, “you’ve been at my house all week driving me fucking nuts and now you tell me to ‘chill out’. No, you need to help me with this fucking project!”  
You sat up on the bed, unable to contain the smile as you looked over at Sarah, “god, I totally forgot how insanely hot you are when you’re pissed off.”  
Sarah tossed her pencil across the room at you, “will you knock it off. You always pull this shit with me.”
“What shit?” You almost laughed, “you’re the one who told me that dating was an ‘accident’ and you were ‘confused about your feelings’. What am I doing, exactly, to pull shit with you? If anything, Sarah, you leading me on was pretty much exactly that.”  
“I wasn’t leading you on.” She groaned, flicking her hair over her shoulder the way she always did when she was pissed with something someone said to her. “What was I supposed to do anyway?” She said, voice dropping lower so no one would hear her. You might’ve been in her closed bedroom but if there was one thing you’d learned about Tanny Hill it was that someone was always listening. “Do you know what my family would do if they found out?”
“Found out that you were dating...basically a pogue? Or dating a girl?” You deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at her in question. You knew what the answer was. Sarah had been trying to live up to every expectation that Ward set for her from the moment she was born. She was always trying to make up for Rafe or Wheezie doing something to upset him by making sure she never did. And while other people dating whoever they wanted was totally fine with him, his favorite daughter, his pride and joy, dating a girl...maybe if it’d been Wheezie a few years down the line. But not Sarah, who was supposed to date a rich kook and go to UNC and marry the same rich kook and they could have a couple kids and buy a big house near his. He’d been planning it all out for her since before she was born and you had thrown a wrench in that plan.  
“It’s a delicate subject.”
“No,” you laughed and shook your head, “your dad’s a total homophobe. What’s he got against two super-hot girls dating each other?”
“When one of them is his daughter, I don’t think it’s at the top of his approved list.” She replied. “We should be working on this project anyway...I want a good grade and so do you.”
“Sarah-”
“No. Cause you’ll say something that you know I wanna hear and then you’ll do the stupid slow walk over to my chair and put your hands on the arm rests and I’ll be totally defenseless and then I’ll do something I totally regret...like kissing you.” Sarah said, “or letting you kiss me.”
“You’d totally regret it if we kissed?” You asked. “Positive?”
“Yes I’m positive.”
“We could test it out? Just to make sure?”
“No.”  
You shrugged, grabbing your math text off the bed and setting it on your lap again, “okay, I guess we should get back to work then.”
“What?” Sarah almost sounded shocked and really she shouldn’t have been. She should’ve known when the teacher put the two of you together for the project that this was exactly where she would end up at some point within the three weeks. Though really, she’d held out a lot longer than she ever thought she would be able to. “That’s it? You’re just going back to the project?”
“You said that’s what you wanted to do.”
She groaned and tugged at the roots of her hair for a second before looking at you, “you are the most frustrating, annoying, dense person in the entire world and I cannot believe that we-”
While she reamed you out, you had put your book aside and gotten up, going over to her and doing exactly what she said you would. You put your hands on the armrests of her desk chair and you leaned in and kissed her mid-sentence. “Is that what I was supposed to do?” You asked, pulling away just enough to see her face.  
Sarah wrapped her arms around your neck, pulling you toward her and forcing you to stabilize yourself with a knee on the side of her leg, practically sitting on her lap. “Something like that.” She finally said, “though I would’ve appreciated a little warning.”
“Oh, sorry, you seemed stressed,” you replied, feigning innocence, “I just wanted to help you relax.”
“Is stressed the word?” She joked, tension melting as she brushed her nose against yours. She leaned forward so your foreheads were touching, her eyelashes just ghosting a touch on your cheeks when she closed her eyes for a split second.  
“Extremely hot? Sexy...a major turn on.” You joked, kissing her again. “God, imagine if you’d been paired with like...Topper for this? You’d be kissing him right now.”
“Stop trying to ruin the moment and kiss me.” Sarah laughed.
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thewcllingtons · 2 years
Text
𝕗𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣  》 an unlikely renewal
THE NATURE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP had always been complicated. Like a cat and dog, it was inevitable for them to clash. Sia was carefree, playing everything by the ear, whilst she was otherwise. Despite being polar opposites, they lived in the same world. Entangled in a complex web of rogues. She never liked complications. She did what she had to do, and didn’t make any effort to connect with anyone. It was a risk to have something—–someone—–to lose. Especially in her line of work.
       Being with Jessica was a big gamble. It had been fun and games at first. They had started off as enemies, after all. But somewhere along the way, her nemesis sneaked up on her, and got to what she could consider close to a soft spot. She wouldn’t be caught dead to admitting that she had it, but she did. She wasn’t the mushy type. She wanted everything simplified. So when the other was on her bullshit, she’d refuse to deal with it, and push her away, which always ended into a break-up. But every time she came knocking at her door, she wouldn’t turn her away. She was quick to get over it. There were also times where she’d be the one to come to her if she was in the wrong.
       When she showed up unexpectedly, she knew the drill. She remained awake, and made a cup of coffee, expecting her to be up by now. She got inside the room, a cup of coffee in hand, and watched her stir awake. “Can’t believe you’d apologize for being drunk, but not to me. You’re killing me, smalls,” she deadpanned, taking sip of her coffee. “You’re lucky I was in a good mood. Or I would’ve left you in the cold.” She was just pulling at her leg.
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Jess was aware of the floatiness she caused within their relationship. It was a fantasy she loved to live out in her mind and behind closed doors, but the second it even brushed the public square, she would lose it. Her relationship with her sexuality was complicated, and there wasn’t an exception when it came to Sia. At times, it seemed like the blonde made it worse for her. She was completely bold in all the ways that she wasn’t. The only baseline they had in common was how they worked a job. Along with being attracted to one another. Jess couldn’t stop herself from coming back to someone who she desperately wanted to be. If she couldn’t learn from Sia, she’d be with her. It didn’t mean that they didn’t have problems. Every single relationship the strawberry blonde had was definition of complex. 
Waking up, she was surprised Sia didn’t manage to grill her for not apologizing and slowly crawling her way back in after subsequently being put in the dog-house. She was there for a while and she did deserve it. The confidence oozing out of Sia wouldn’t be as annoying as it was, but Jess was currently suffering from a migraine. ❝ I’m apologizing because I think I am still drunk. I’ll need a couple more minutes to figure that out. ❞ Jess slowly turned to face Sia, ❝ You still could leave me out in the cold, but I’m hoping that I can get let out of the doghouse for this week. Maybe?! ❞
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dashielldeveron · 3 years
Text
and i’ve gotta crow | takami keigo
hawks x pro-hero! reader. quirk unspecified.
summary: “You’re suffering from amnesia,” says Hawks to you, in your hospital bed.
No, you are not.
“We’re engaged to be married.”
No, you are not.
After an accident that was that bastard Hawks’s fault, you decide to play along with your diagnosis of amnesia, among other things, because how far can you make your former bully bend over backwards for you?
fluff/trickery??? completely avoidable angst, bc reader is a little shit. hawks is a scumbag bully at first. reader is honestly kind of violent. dealing with acne in a scene.
When the first things you saw after groggily blinking your eyes open were multiple IVs in the back of your hand, you flipped over and snuggled farther into your hospital bed to deal with it later, but against your will you were forced to lie flat on your back to stare into the hospital fluorescents.
When the nurse fiddling with your IVs came into focus, he said, “You need to lie on your back. You have deep gashes on your lower abdomen, and tossing about too much could open the stitches.”
That sounded like bullshit, but you were too out of it to care. “Yeah, okay,” you said through a croak, “Oh, fuck.” You wrestled a hand to your throat, massaging it. “Am I waking up from a coma? Don’t let anyone see me until I’ve done my eyebrows.”
The nurse laughed through his nose. “No, don’t worry. You’ve barely been—” He cut himself off and frowned. “The news should probably be broken to you when you have emotional support. I’ll be back soon.”
He left.
Emotional support? Wouldn’t that fucking gash on your stomach be—ooh, ouch, don’t move.
Where’s your phone? Where’s your goddamn phone; where’s any of your personal belongings? If they got crushed, you’re killing Hawks on sight.
Hawks, oh, my God. Where is he? He’s dead. If he still has the audacity to bully you professionally—fuck.
He’d cornered you on patrol earlier—whenever that was—and cut into you in that casually, negging-type way that wasn’t enough to report but enough to make you stay up late and freak out about being good enough. It hurt your chest whenever you thought about it.
But this was the first time he’d gotten seriously physical.
He’d alit on the top of the warehouse next to you, landing what would have been haphazardly for anyone else (the arch of his feet against the edge, his toes barely touching roof) and had crouched next to you, his scarlet wings completely blowing your cover as they stretched and shuddered.
“What’s a little girl like you doing in this part of town?” Hawks had propped his chin on both his fists. “Thought shoplifters were more your calibre.”
“Hawks, this is actually really important to me, so please, please leave,” you’d said, keeping your eyes on the group you could barely make out through the skylight. They’d already been partially concealed by crates, so they were hard to see.
“Someone else give you a tip for their location?” He’d tapped your opposite shoulder with the end of his wing, but you hadn’t even flinched.
“Bruh, you know I’ve been on this for weeks,” you’d said, shifting away from him, “I even shared intel at your last briefing.”
“Is that what you were talking about?” Hawks had scratched his chin. “I zoned out. Usually the little cases female heroes present aren’t in my circle, and I like to unwind when brain power isn’t needed.”
You’d planned to rip his wings out feather by feather while you’d gritted your teeth. “You can’t talk to me like that, Hawks.”
He’d laughed, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. “C’mon, babygirl, have a slice of chill, won’t you? I thought you were one of the cool girls. Relax. I don’t mean anything by it.”
“Leave me alone, Hawks. You’re not gonna bully me into joining your agency. You’re not gonna bully me into quitting being a hero,” you’d said, inwardly screaming, “I’d tell you to go talk to someone who’d fall for your shit, but then, she’d have to suffer, too. So, fuck off into a sewer, jackass.”
“Oof,” Hawks had said, placing a hand over his heart and shaking his head, “You don’t have to be such a bitch, sweetheart. I’m only looking for my better half. Didn’t think it could be you, but I’d thought I’d give you a chance to prove me wrong. Don’t take yourself too seriously; just be along for the ride like the rest of us.”
“Huh,” you had said, and you’d stood and strode to the edge of the warehouse to your harness and rope, and you rappelled down the side of it as stealthily as you came up.
“I’ve been watching you all these years, sweetness, and I know you by now; I know how you really feel,” Hawks had said a bit too loudly while he flew downwards at your speed (braggart). “Strip away all of your busy work, your so-called hero trappings, and we’d mesh together just fine. We may be rough around the edges, but we clean up really nicely, don’t we?”
You’d unclipped your carabiner and stepped out of your harness, stashing it in your pack. “Fuck off.”
You’d moved towards the back entrance, but Hawks had slammed a hand against the concrete wall in front of you. You’d ducked under it and carried on, and he’d grabbed the back of your shirt.
“C’mon, if we didn’t know each other, and our eyes met from across the room at some hero gala, you’d be all over me, wouldn’t you?”
You had swiped his hand away. “I’d be putting a lid on my drink.”
His arms behind his back, Hawks had followed you through the door and behind the exposed pipes and closer to your targets. “Saw you coming onto Todoroki at the last one. You looked fine in his colours, but you would’ve looked better in mine.”
Don’t grace him with an answer; don’t grace him with an ans— “I wasn’t coming onto Shoto,” you’d said, pulling yourself up a couple of pipes for a better view—and you’d hit him when he flapped his wings to hover the few feet you’d ascended, because the noise might alert them.
“Yeah, you just simp for him, right? Then you didn’t step outside your comfortable ice queen act?” Hawks had gripped onto a pipe just underneath your ass. “You’re too much of a natural tease for that.”
How can you report him when he’s the head of his own agency? You guess the commission might listen, but what can they do besides slap his wrist? There’s really no one who can stop him, is there?
You hadn’t replied but instead crawled onto the iron catwalk. If you could position yourself about three-quarters of the way across, you’d be able to effectively activate your quirk and get this over with—wait, why would you think like that? You’d been waiting for this for ages.
A hand spreading across the small of your back had reminded you.
You’d flipped over with fire in your eyes and kicked him away as quietly as you could, but all he’d done was sit back on his knees to grin down at you, army-crawling your way through a dirty warehouse.
Would he take credit for your work again?
You’d shaken yourself. Eat my entire ass, Hawks. And with that, you’d continued inching towards your targets. When you’d gotten into position to watch them, Hawks had merely watched you.
You had scowled. “I’m gonna tear you a—”
“You had a hard childhood, didn’t you?”
A chill had unfurled up your spine, simple as that. Hawks now not only had the annoying air of an arrogant pick-up artist but also gave you an intense sense of danger. You’d moved away from him, regrettably away from your target, but Hawks had followed you, getting closer until his body heat had seeped into yours, a self-satisfied smirk plastered across his dumb face.
“I could take suuuuch good care of you, little girl,” he’d said under his breath, “if only you’d let me. No one else is crazy enough to call me out or want more than the bare minimum.” His wings had folded in on his back, making themselves as small as possible to get closer to you. “If you give in, tell me yes, say please, you wouldn’t have to let any worries cross your pretty little mind. All you have to do is let me in.”
“Yikes,” you had said, sucking in through your teeth, “God, you’re a creep.”
Hawks had slammed you down onto the catwalk, iron reverberating through the warehouse as it struck your head, and your targets had looked up by the time the catwalk hinges had loosened and had come crashing down in the midst of their meeting.
You’re really not supposed to shoot guns inside. Don’t they know that’ll ruin their ears? No matter, really. You had fought them anyway, amidst crates splintering open from whatever they were shooting at you—fuck, that was a big hole. What’s oozing out of that? Gross, don’t step in it.
One with a normal revolver—his arm had given a woody crack when you’d bent it backwards—God, that was nice. Good sounds. If you could sample them into a rap track, you would.
You’d been planning a collab with a popular rapper while you’d hurled yourself at another villain, sawdust flying—just to keep your mind busy, really, but fucking—fucking Hawks had bested whoever he’d half-assed to the ground and had shouted your way.
“C’mere, you little shit—”
He’d scooped you up while you’d been taking care of it by yourself, and he had pinned you down behind a stack of crates that reached the remains of the catwalk, straddling you but keeping most of his weight off, his wings outstretched yet still hidden from the cloud of sawdust rising with deep gurgling on the far side.
“What the fuck is wrong with you,” he’d said over the chaos, spit flying, “You can’t handle this; you’re gonna get fucking killed. I can’t babysit you all the time.”
“Get fucked; I’m the number fourteen hero,” you’d said, deadly still, but twitching in fury, “I can handle anyth—”
“Aww, fourteen. And one day babygirl might reach the single digits.” Hawks had sneered in your face. “If she manages to fuck her way through them.”
Your jaw had dropped, and you pretended to cough on sawdust and kicked him off in the confusion. Hawks had grabbed a hold of your calf, grappling for your thigh, while you’d scrambled to climb over crates to the gurgling mess on the other side; you could handle it, and you would.
You’d slapped his hands away, wrestled out of his grasp again and again, and you’d launched yourself into the dust—
Yeah.
While the fluorescent lights flickered overhead, you picked at a hangnail. You hadn’t braced yourself for the explosion, so, you guessed you deserved whatever was wrong with you now. Big-ass gashes on your stomach. Probably broken ribs. Something felt off in your left leg, besides—oh, ho, what had the doctors thought when they’d seen Hawks’s scratches?
What an idiot.
When the door creaked open, the nurse returned with a mug of water for you, but—what? Who’s that bitch following him?
You blinked, twice. With his hands in his pockets and his nasty little wings tucked in behind him, Hawks meandered to your bedside, his gaze on your throat as you swallowed down water.
God, you’re too tired to deal with him. Let’s get this over with.
The nurse glanced over his clipboard. “I’ve already told your partner this, but I thought you would want him here.”
Maybe if you ignore Hawks, he’ll leave.
“You were very brave today,” said the nurse, “Your work as a hero is greatly appreciated. You’re on temporary leave to heal, though. Like I said, you’ve got three, major gashes on your stomach, and your leg’s broken—the fibula split, if you want to know. You’ll be on crutches for a while. You have four broken ribs, and—” The nurse bit his lip and softened his voice. “You hit your head pretty hard. Nothing’s broken, but you should have amnesia, with the trauma you’ve endured.”
Should have? They don’t know? You sure as hell don’t fucking have amnesia. It barely happens in real life, and it definitely hasn’t happened to you. You remembered every fucking infuriating thing Hawks did to ruin your mission, and if he doesn’t square up—
“I’m so sorry, baby,” said Hawks, grabbing your hand. He stroked the back of it with his thumb, and then he took his glove off to hold you skin-to-skin. “You remember who I am?”
You just stared at him.
“Your fiancé’s been a real presence in the waiting room,” said the nurse, “He hardly stopped pacing the entire time you were in surgery. He wouldn’t even talk to fans.”
Oh, my God.
Holy fucking shit.
“Oops, sorry,” said the nurse, covering his mouth, “I know you were keeping it a secret. Don’t blame him, please; he only told me to be able to see you immediately.”
Shutting your eyes, you took a deep, deep breath. You have been handed a golden opportunity on a fucking Hawks-shaped platter, holy fuck, and by God are you going to take advantage of it. Imagine how much you can fucking humiliate him, how far you can take it. How much you can make him pay for how he treated you, and now, if he says he’s your fiancé, then he’s gonna fucking worship you. You’re going to mould him into your little bitch, and he’s going to thank you for it. And you’ll get endless dirt on him just by seeing his place.
Don’t fuck this up.
Exhaling, you opened your eyes, blinking a bit. You curled your lips into your mouth, biting the lower one. “I remember you’re Hawks,” you said in a nervous voice, “and I remember, uh.”
“Don’t hurt yourself, sweetheart.” Hawks squeezed your hand, his tone kind. “It’ll come back in time.”
You clutched Hawks’s hand while the nurse rattled off instructions and gave you your crutches, and Hawks squeezed your hand back, softly smiling at you.
When the nurse left, you turned to Hawks and said, “I’m so, so sorry, but I—I feel like there’s something big missing that I can’t remember.” You scratched your forehead with your free hand, dragging the IVs with you.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Hawks tilted his head, still gazing decidedly down at you.
“Oh, God,” you said, “Oh, fuck. I don’t know. Um.” Take it back. Take it way back. That way he’ll dig himself into a deeper hole. The more lies he has to create, the funnier it’ll be. “Let’s see, I, hm.” You already weren’t speaking like yourself, but you looked upward as you faked combing through memories. “I don’t know how things work chronologically, but the most recent memory I have of you is—it’s after a press conference, and I’ve never been in the building before,” you said slowly, “And I can’t find the bathroom, but some press keeps following me, and I—I faceplant in between your shoulder blades, right between your wings. You—” You lowered your voice, shrinking a little in the hospital bed, “You got rid of them so easily, with just a gesture, and you put your arm around me. You were—” You shook your head, staring at both of your hands. “—so warm.”
Was that too thick? That was too thick, wasn’t it?
His free hand shot to his mouth, and he bit his knuckle. “But sweetheart, that’s,” said Hawks, his eyes watering, “That’s only around the third time we met.”
You know.
“Shit,” you said, widening your eyes, “How long ago was that?”
“Three years.” Hawks squeezed your hand and kept the pressure longer than was necessary. “Three fucking years. You don’t remember anything past that?”
You pretended to be scared to look at him. “I’m sorry; I’m so sorry—”
“No, no, you don’t have to be,” said Hawks, and he leant towards you to lift your chin, rubbing his thumb against it, “It’s not your fault.”
You had to hand it to him: Hawks was a good actor.
But so were you.
***
Hawks disappeared for a while after that, but he manifested the day you were loosed from the hospital, more than giddy to carry all of your shit all the way to your flat. He was probably getting some sick pleasure from watching you hobble on your crutches.
“I can help you, if you lean on me,” said Hawks, giving you an easy grin, “I don’t want you to be in any more pain than you have to.”
“This is something I should do myself,” you said in what was hopefully a tough-it-out voice, “I’d like to be able to walk without depending on anyone.”
“I honestly think you ought to be in a wheelchair.” His wings bristled. “But what do I know? I could fly us to your place, if you like.”
“I don’t like. I’ve gotta concentrate on limping. Stop talking, Hawks.”
You got to your flat, and Hawks had guessed which key opened the door on the first try. Drat! He was already doing a good job of acting like he’d been here before, like he’s not surprised that the number fourteen hero lives in a pretty shitty apartment (you started living here as a student and got too damn comfortable for your own good—plus, you didn’t want your cat to endure the trauma of moving).
Hawks plopped your keys in the bowl by the door with a clatter, and he shut the front door behind you, flipping one of the locks.
He set your stuff neatly on the kitchen table—your purse, your tactical pack, your ropes—and lay your dry-cleaned hero suit over the back of a kitchen chair, and his hands were on you the next moment to guide you to your tacky, sunflower couch. Removing one crutch, he put your arm over his shoulder instead, one hand planted on your lower back above your bandages, and he eased you down onto the cushions.
Hawks then stepped over your legs to sit on your opposite side, and he brought your legs to rest in his lap, his hand gripping your non-casted leg. “Gotta keep it elevated, chickadee.”
You let yourself giggle. Time to get this shitshow started. “Thank you so much for helping me, Hawks; I know I’ve been a real hassle these past few days, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that sort of stress. You’re already under so much. I don’t understand how the commission would let you date anyone, let alone propose.”
“Oh, I know,” said Hawks, spreading himself out on the couch. He shifted himself to face you in addition to accommodate his wings—he was now positioned so that they’d drape over the arm of the couch instead of being squished against the back cushions. That bitch, he probably wasn’t used to couches that weren’t custom made to his special body requirements. Spoiled fuck.
“The commission was really pissed when they found out. Do you remember how, sweetness? Right, I’ll tell you,” said Hawks, running an ungloved hand through his hair before shaking it loose. “You remember up to the press conference with the faceplant. Short version is that you hated me for a good year before something clicked. You started acting awkward whenever I was around, avoiding me, and stuff. Sometimes getting red. I thought it was cute.”
You ducked your head. Flustered. He probably likes easily flustered women.
Wait. That’s not who you are. And he’d like you for who you are, if you’re engaged.
But at the same time, if you’re (gag) in love with him, wouldn’t you be flustered by some of the things he says?
Easy, baby. Take it as it comes. Pick your battles. Go with your gut.
And gut says make Hawks eat shit.
“You think I’m cute?”
“I know you’re cute.”
You’re going to stuff his own feathers down his throat.
“We got together at that dinner Endeavor’s agency sponsored. Do you remember that at all? That place with the purple lights. You’d gotten nervous from the crowd and had gone to take some of your anxiety meds. I caught you in the hall back from the bathroom and talked you down before going back out there.” He grinned sheepishly. “I’d like to say I’m the one who kissed you, but you took initiative before I had the guts.”
Funny. Hilarious, in fact. That was the night Hawks had solidified himself as the Biggest Dick in the World, because yeah, he’d caught you in the purple-lit hallway, but he’d caught you on the way to take your meds, not on the way back. You were talking yourself down from a panic attack and couldn’t argue him away, so he’d followed you into the bathroom, running his mouth and acting like it was an accident when the tip of his wing had knocked your two capsules down the sink.
He’d told you that if you’re a big girl, you’d be able to handle the rest of the night. Or you could leave at any time with him, and he’d make excuses that everyone would have to accept.
Honestly, you’d love to let his fake memory be true, because then, you’d be able to wear purple again without feeling queasy.
Cocking your head, you smiled. “That doesn’t sound like something I would do.”
Hawks let out a light laugh, craning his neck to rest his head on the back of the sofa. “That’s what you said that night, too. About how it felt out of character.”
“Was I good?”
Lifting his head, he raised an eyebrow at you: probably the first genuine emotion he’s shown you the whole time he’s been here. “Hm?”
“When I kissed you. Was it good,” you asked flatly.
“Oh,” Hawks said, his wings puffing out just barely, “Oh, sweetheart, you were amazing. Groundbreaking. Show-stopping.” His tongue flicked over his lower lip, and he shifted underneath your legs, leaning slightly towards you but holding eye contact before carrying on.
You shook your head. “I don’t have the energy to give you the makeout session you deserve,” you said, envisioning drowning him in the bathtub, “I’m exhausted. Forgive me.”
“Always,” said Hawks, “Want me to keep going?”
“You can hardly eat me out when we haven’t kissed yet.”
“I meant,” said Hawks, pausing to visibly swallow (was it real?), “about our relationship, but if you wanna eat—”
“Nah, keep going. So, I started the relationship? I must be crazy. Neither of us have fucking time to sleep, let alone be in a relationship.”
Hawks never shut up about how he was taking time out of his endlessly packed days to spend time with you, how time was precious to him, and if he’s spending time with you, why, then, you’d better pay up, bitch (always accompanied with his hands on his belt, subtly pointing his thumbs towards his cock).
Hawks shrugged with his wings instead of his shoulders. Interesting. Has he ever done that before? “The commission said that, but after I insisted we’d make time, they relented. Eventually,” said Hawks, jerking his head to the side, “Our quirks don’t exactly fit well, so we haven’t worked with each other professionally too often, and, of course, we’ve had to hide our relationship so that we can’t be a public weak spot to each other. Plus, we’re more marketable as eligible, young heroes.”
“Fuck the market,” you said, slumping into the pillows.
“There’s my girl,” said Hawks, grinning with his tongue caught between his teeth, “There’s her spark. I know, baby. I feel the same way, but being made into libidinous body pillows pays the bills, y’know?”
Nodding, you brought one of the couch pillows around for you to hug, and you smushed your chin into it. “Hawks,” you said, so quietly you almost couldn’t be heard over the A/C kicking on, “How long have we been engaged?”
“Four months,” he said, his grin unconsciously fading until he was essentially baring his teeth, “Since the twentieth.”
Taking a moment, you said, “I can’t remember anything at all.”
“That’s okay. It’ll come back.”
“No, I can’t—” You slid your hands through your hair, pulling at it, and you heaved a sigh. “Goddammit, Hawks. I wish I could—fuck. I’m missing something huge. I know I am.” Make him nervous. Make him lie awake at night. “I’m sorry, Hawks. It’s probably something really important, and I—”
“Shh, shh, shh, shh, it’s all right,” said Hawks, and he stood to lean over you, his hands rising to cup your face, and holy shit, his hands cover so much of your skin; is that legal? He’s got hands. “Don’t worry, baby. You’ve had a big day. Turn your brain off. I’ll take care of you.”
Red flag! Big, red flag! Creep! He’s a creep!
Your gaze fell to his jacket pockets. Does he carry date rape drugs on his person?
“Hawks, I don’t wanna inconvenience you any more than I have.”
“I’m your fiancé,” said Hawks, actually looking you straight in the eyes and not breaking, “I want to take care of you.”
“Sure, in the way the mob takes care of people.”
Hawks’s mouth opened slightly, and his eyes narrowed.
Cover it up. “I’m not sorry. I don’t trust your cooking. You’ll poison my spaghetti!” You made a dumb gesture, pinching your fingers together. “Have you seen The Godfather? There’s actually a pretty legit spaghetti recipe in it; it’s not too bad, but it’s kind of watery—”
Hawks brought your hand to his mouth to kiss your knuckles and let his lips linger. “Watch it with me?”
You shook your head. “I’m too tired. I’m going to bed.”
“I’ll join you.”
“No,” you said, “My bed’s not made with your wings in mind.” Fuck off to your own little sex next, Hawks. Get out of here. “If they got hurt, it’d be my fault. Go sleep in your own bed, all right?” Go home. Get mugged on the way.
Hawks sighed, blowing his hair out of his eyes. “If you insist. But you’ve gotta reach out to me for anything you have trouble with, yeah? Memories, opening jars, orgasms, you know.”
“I’m leaving,” you said, reaching for your crutches, “Ten minutes ago.”
***
“You didn’t tell me how you proposed.”
Hawks froze mid-bite of his ramen, but after a quick beat, he slurped the rest of the noodle up. “I was hoping you’d recall that on your own, baby. Get your own feelings about it, instead of me telling you how to feel.”
If you weren’t faking amnesia, you’d fucking break his nose for that. Bastard.
“I imagine once you tell me, the feelings will rush in,” you said, clicking your chopsticks twice for emphasis, “I want to remember everything, and if I don’t, well, I want to fall in love with you again.”
Hawks’s gaze glazed over for an infinitesimal moment. Score.
“It’ll sound goofy once I describe it.” With his wings cramped against the back of the booth, Hawks scratched the back of his neck—a classic move for pretending to be embarrassed. “I’m not exactly known for being romantic.”
Yeah, he’s known for fooling around with anyone who’s glittery, like a goddamn crow. If you’re paying attention.
“Aw, but Hawks, you’ve been nothing but so effortlessly romantic to me since I’ve been convalescing,” you said, rolling up the paper wrapper of your straw and soaking it in the ring your cup left on the table.
“Right, well. I flew us out to the countryside, to this overlook halfway up a mountain. You liked going rappelling there a lot. To practise for missions.” Hawks had some of your habits down, at least. Bet he gets the location wrong, though. “We watched the sunrise. We shared a thermos of tea. I asked you once the sun had risen, but you didn’t say yes right away,” said Hawks, “You jumped off the overlook without your gear, and I caught you. You were furious about it—you didn’t want me to see you overwhelmed. But you said yes.”
Ugh. That sounded about right. That sounded pretty realistic. Hawks was a fucking stalker.
“Fuck,” you said, burying your face in your hands, “That’s cute.” You stretched the skin of your cheeks before releasing, and you returned to your ramen. “Question: did we put the ring into storage, or something? I don’t have the little indent on my ring finger from wearing a ring too long, and I haven’t found anything at home.” Make him sweat. Make him stumble. Where’s the ring, Hawks?
With a flash of his eyebrows, Hawks maneuvered his straw to his mouth using only his lips, looking quite stupid, in your opinion. “Figured you’d ask that at some point. I’m so overjoyed to see you every time that I forget to bring it up. The ring’s been sent off to a high-level, government-backed, support company. I’ve pulled in a favour from the higher-ups. I wanted to turn your ring into something a little more personal and incorporate one of my feathers into it,” said Hawks, taking a moment to slurp his drink noisily, “Depending on how well it goes, I’d be able to help you if we’re separated and know where you are. At the very least—” Hawks ducked his head to give the illusion of staring up at you with wide eyes, his blond eyelashes light against his skin. “—I’d be able to feel your heartbeat. It would bring me great comfort.”
Great, so he’d have a GPS on you at all times, knowing whether or not you went somewhere he didn’t want you to. He’d be able to tell if you went somewhere your non-amnesia self would know about. Great. Phenomenal.
“Hawks, that’s very sweet,” you said, fiddling with the remnants of your straw wrapper, now fizzled out of its snake shape, “Wouldn’t the process hurt you, though? Since you can feel it.”
“Nothing more than a twinge, sweetheart,” said Hawks, holding up his hands, “And I’d bear any amount of pain for your sake.”
You fantasised about beating his head in with the back end of a rifle.
***
When you were told Hawks was waiting for you outside of the recording booth, you told the messenger that Hawks could wait until you were finished with five more takes. You could picture Hawks’s little pout at the news, his feathers bristling despite the closed space, and resigning himself to sit in one of those clangy, metal chairs out front, having to hunch forward so that he didn’t crush his wings.
The idol group adored the ingenuity of bone-crunching as percussion in a song, and along with that and some other combat foley, you were singing the bridge with the rapper of the group (the dance captain would sing your part for live shows). It’d be a good promo for the girl group and for you, and the song, “Spine,” was going to be released as a single as soon as it was polished.
Hawks perked up the moment you stepped through the secondary door to the booth, his eyes brightening and wings spreading to take up more space. “I didn’t think I’d catch you,” said Hawks, standing to take your hands (the cold leather gloves sucked the heat out of your hands), “I’ve got to fly, soon, but I wanted to tell you personally.”
“You’re not pregnant,” you said, fighting the urge to break his goggles/visor/hat thing.
His lopsided grin widened. “Not yet, baby. There’s gonna be a heroes’ gala held at the end of the month, and I wanted to let you know that I’m doing everything in my power to make it a positive experience for you. Here, I’ve got this woman’s phone number,” he said, fishing a slip of paper out of his jacket, “She’ll help accommodate the venue for your leg.”
Stupid fucking bastard man. He probably wanted to pick out your clothes himself, infantilise you and dress you up like a goddamn doll. Deny you your personhood. “I’ll be out of the cast by then.” You slid the paper into your back pocket.
“I know,” Hawks said in a way that was a fucking lie, “I just don’t want there to be any accidents. I can’t have my babygirl any more hurt than she is.” Hawks placed his cold, gloved hand against your cheek, and you, shutting your eyes, made yourself lean into it. “But contact her. She’ll make it the safest place it can be for you, even when I have to leave your side.”
God, galas were great. Big events for villains to ruin. You licked your lips thinking about using a new move you’ve learnt to take a villain down (involving clamping your legs around the villain’s neck to choke him as he crumpled to the floor—your combat coach had banned you from the move after you made her pass out). “Are we announcing our engagement, then? If we’re going together?”
“I’d love to,” said Hawks, “but only if you want to. The ring could be ready by then, if I ask them to rush it—”
“Let’s do it.” If you plunged the ring into icy water, would he start to shiver? Ooh, your ring’s going to act as a fucking bay leaf in your soups for a while.
“Oh,” said Hawks, sighing lightly with his eyes fluttering shut. He pressed his forehead to yours and rubbed his thumb over your cheek. “You have no idea how much that means to me, sweetheart. You are so dear to me, and I want everyone to know it. The best damn thing in my life. Thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you said, placing your hand on his face to push him away, “Don’t you have work to do, screw boy?”
***
“Did we have a date?” you asked from the edge of the bathtub.
Hawks dipped the razor in the water, washing off the hair and shaving cream. “We’ve gone on so many, darling; you’ll have to specify.”
“No, I meant for the wedding.” Let’s once again play: Can Hawks Cover His Own Ass?
Hawks dragged the razor down your freshly exfoliated, freshly-un-casted, freshly not-broken leg, starting at your knee. “Nope!”
“No explanation?”
“You wanna get married tomorrow? A six-month engagement is rather short, don’t you think?” His nose twitched. He’d said the scent of your shaving cream irritated his nose. Good.
“I don’t. Why didn’t we have a date for the wedding?” You eyed the actual and literal pile of your dead skin on the towel. Maybe you should make Hawks snort it.
“We were too busy working; you’d said you didn’t mind having a long engagement, so long as I was yours. Then, uh, you know. The accident,” Hawks said with a shrug—with his shoulders this time, because if he moved his wings while he was crouched in your bathtub, he’d soak them, and they were a bitch to dry, apparently. Suffer, you rat bastard.
“The commission isn’t involved in that decision?”
“I thought that was implied,” said Hawks, gripping your ankle to turn your calf to the side, “They don’t want it to be a huge spectacle, so even I don’t know how much of a wedding wedding they’d let us have.”
He’s too damn good at this. If he weren’t a pro-hero, he’d fit right along in a theatre troupe.
You’re going to wring his neck.
You caught him staring at the crotch of your underwear (bone-dry, you might add) while he shaved your thighs, and he spent more time rubbing lotion into your inner thighs than anywhere else. He tossed your dead skin before you could make him eat it, and he scooped you up against your protestations about your weight and capability, humming while he carried you to your bed.
The fucker tucked you in and rounded up your cat to place in your arms (your cat disagreed with him and promptly leapt off the bed).
“Let me stay with you,” said Hawks, kissing each of your fingertips. It’s an order.
Yet you shook your head.
***
“The doctors said you shouldn’t drink,” Hawks said under his breath, taking the champagne flute gently from your grasp.
“But I want to,” you said, sticking out your lower lip, “I’m wearing goddamn heels and a fucking dress. I’ve got on makeup, for Christ’s sake. I’ve done my time; let me drink.”
“Baby, you’ve got to stay safe,” he said, and he set the glass next to some 40s-level hero’s place at the long, white tablecloth. “There’s already press paying more attention to us than usual. You wanna make a fool of yourself?”
“Yes,” you said, lifting another champagne flute from a passing gala waiter, “Who gives a shit about the press.”
Hawks laughed too loudly to be natural before lowering his voice. “Baby, you are gonna be the death of me.”
“Promise?”
***
When “Spine” was released on a cool, spring morning to an excitable audience, you were lurking in alleyways by the docks, searching for a fight. When the music video dropped, you were smashing some guy’s face into a concrete wall. While more and more citizens recognised you and your talent, your work for the community, your connections, your popularity—with your rank steadily rising—you were rappelling down a port sewer to pummel a slime villain into dust.
You wiped his blood off on your pants, hands devoid of anything that could taint. You’d left the ring at home.
***
“You tricked me,” you said, scowling as Hawks pushed you forward, “This isn’t the rock climbing park.”
Once you deliberately smashed your face into the glass door and crossed your arms, Hawks held the door open for you. “Would you have dressed up so nicely for rock climbing?”
“A meta-game challenge,” you said, “to rock-climb in a long skirt.”
You glowered about the restaurant while you and Hawks stood in the lobby, his hand low on your back, suspiciously respectfully. You made no effort to hide your distaste: it was the place with the purple lights.
Over there at the absurdly long bar, Endeavor had drunk flat whisky without so much of a growl at anyone, despite it being his event. Hexagonal tables with lilac tablecloths dotted the floor—you’d hidden in one of the few booths, up against the exposed brick wall—but your hiding place had been ruined once a violet disco ball had emerged from the ceiling. Shiny, wooden floor that had reflected your post-panic attack face right back at you and let every shoe strike it with a clatter. No silence allowed.
The whole restaurant had lavender LED lights running around the walls, swathing the place in a distorted sort of purple haze, and any candles lit on the centre tables had indigo flames—you’d focused on how those might have been made in the process of coming down from your panic attack.
God. You’re going to throw up.
The hostess escorted you and Hawks to a farther back room, this one with booths separated by small, brick walls that didn’t reach the ceiling yet concealed the booths’ occupants from each other—unless you were passing directly in front of one.
Hawks made you sit in the booth first, trapping you in as he settled. He had to be on the edge, anyway, he told you, because of his wings. You’re going to rip them off and boil them in the soup.
The two of you ordered. You don’t remember what. You can only channel so much of your nerves into jostling your leg. This is not cool. This place is not cool. You need to get out.
“Hey, let me through,” you said, nudging Hawks, “Bathroom.”
Once there, you lightly slapped your cheeks a couple of times, trying to ground yourself through physical sensation. No use. Can’t they fucking use normal lights in this place?
You didn’t have your panic meds, because you’ve never needed them rock climbing. You can do it. You’re fine. You’re fine. Your tongue is too big for your mouth.
You took your time meandering back to the booth, coming to a halt at the end of the narrow hallway and ducking behind the corner.
Endeavor stood by your booth, his arms crossed over a flaming chest. You caught your breath at the sight of his orange fire, a comforting contrast to all the damn purple, but still—Endeavor. Talking to your (gag) fiancé.
Without the courage to interact with Endeavor, you listened at the corner for his departure.
“Nah, she can handle her bladder just fine. It’s her nerves,” Hawks was saying, hidden by the bricks, “She likes hiding. She doesn’t necessarily like being in the spotlight.”
“Yet she hasn’t completely withdrawn as Eraserhead has. You’ve picked a strange one to marry.”
From the angle Endeavor glared at him, Hawks must be slumping in his seat. “But that’s what so great about her. And it’s hard to process, y’know, like, she’s finally mine. You follow?”
“Regrettably,” said Endeavor, “Regardless, I offer my congratulations that your courtship finally worked out in your favour. You should have told me sooner.”
Courtship. That’s a funny way to pronounce bullying.
“Eh, I’ve gotta have some secrets, don’t I? Can’t betray my otherwise cool exterior.” Hawks laughed. “I can’t believe I’ve been allowed such happiness. The woman I’ve loved for years is gonna be waking up to me every day soon, y’know?”
Hawks has got to know you can hear him, otherwise he wouldn’t be saying those things. Endeavor must be in on Hawks’s ruse, since Endeavor is Hawks’s closest—actually, Endeavor isn’t the type to revel in romantic shit. Endeavor straight-up isn’t the type to revel. To the best of your knowledge, Endeavor doesn’t genuinely like Hawks as so much as tolerates him; when did they get so close? It must have taken a long time—
Time.
You could feel your IQ dropping as you actually considered: had you been in a legitimate coma? Had you (fuck) genuinely had amnesia?
No, no. You don’t live in Crazytown. Your eyebrows hadn’t been overgrown when you’d woken up in the hospital. You’d only been there a day.
Of course, Hawks is a vain piece of shit and does his own eyebrows, so he might have considered that yours were a piece of pride/insecurity for you and may have done them while you were—did Hawks do his own eyebrows? That spoiled fuck probably had someone else to do them for him. If they were naturally like that, you were going to throttle his ass.
You didn’t fucking have amnesia. Hawks is and always has been a stupid, clammy birdbrain. He’s always been cruel to you. He didn’t fucking like you.
He sure as hell wasn’t in fucking love with you.
Oh, my fuck, what if your memories of Hawks have been fabricated by a coma-addled mind and that—
“Hey, there,” said—said someone, some pale-ass, sleep-deprived freak who startled you out of your head, “Are you all right? You look—I mean, do you need some water? A chair?”
You blinked, yet he wouldn’t come into focus—you were taking in details about him, ones that didn’t fucking matter (chain on his wallet, three rings all on the left hand, a button-down missing the last button, a cloud of axe body spray), but he didn’t register as a human person. He couldn’t; you hadn’t grounded yourself yet. You yourself still had a frazzled, cartoon scribble buzzing inside of your chest, and until you vomited it up, a panic attack may yet still happen.
You can’t deal with anyone new right now.
A spark of recognition crossed the new guy’s face, and he, through a smirk, asked if you were your hero name.
Oh god oh fuck not now
“Sweetheart,” came Hawks’s melodious drawl (registering first his voice, then bodily warmth, then the wingtip covering your ass), “You were taking so long that I came to check on you.” He pulled you by the waist towards him, blocking the guy from seeing your face by pressing it into his chest. “Who’s this?”
Who cares. All you could focus on (sharp and overwhelming, nothing else but) was how fucking incredible Hawks smelled, and at this point, you’d use anything to bring yourself back down to earth. A small voice in the back of your head told you that freaking out to this degree in this particular situation was leaning towards pathetic, since basically nothing happened, besides being in an uncomfortable environment and being accosted by a fan at the wrong time, but you? You did not control the rate at which your brain panicked.
And really, no rhyme or reason played into why your grabby little hands itched for human contact once safe in the booth again, why Hawks’s scent lay on your tongue more heavily than your soup, why the overwhelming sensation of being so fucking spaced out of it threw its entire weight upon your shoulders—you couldn’t find yourself. You were lost.
And in this horrible, purple place, the only thing that’s familiar was Hawks.
When you scooted as closely as you could to him in the booth, keeping your glare towards your lap while you looped your arm under his to snuggle into it, Hawks cleared his throat to say, “What’s this?”
You scowled into his jacket, both hands gripping his forearm.
He set his chopsticks down. “How can I help, darling?”
Growling, you bonked your forehead against his shoulder, dragging your hands down to his.
“Hey,” said Hawks, and he guided your face towards his and stroked your cheek with his thumb, “Did that guy bother you too much before I got there?”
Turning your mouth towards the hand cupping your cheek, you kissed his palm, bit the leather, and kissed it again before burying yourself in his shoulder again.
He rested his hand on the crown of your head. “What’s the matter? Can you tell me?”
“Not sure I can put it into words,” you said, “I think I wanna go home.” You bit the fabric of his jacket and gnashed it between your teeth.
“I can handle that,” said Hawks, “Gimme a moment to get takeaway boxes, yeah? Then we’ll leave, and you’ll be safe. Don’t worry.”
Unfortunately, you were still clutching onto his arm by the time he unlocked his darkened penthouse (because you’re not gonna hold his hand. God), but you slapped his hand away from the light switches.
“Turning them on would be too much stimulation,” you said, “Please don’t.”
Hawks hummed against the top of your head, placing keys and both of your phones on the kitchen counter. “Bed or couch?”
“Window,” you said.
“Window?”
“I’m assuming you’ve got one.”
“I do,” said Hawks, guiding you through his dark apartment, probably past scarily expensive, posh shit. He led you to what was most likely his living room, with the cool, dim light of the night sky through a vast, single-frame, wall-to-floor window illuminating furniture custom built for his wings, but he eased you down onto the carpet, tugging your shirt upwards so that the window would be touching your bare skin on the small of your back.
Hawks yanked his boots off, late, instead of at the door, and he tossed them over his shoulder. He took yours off, too, and once he’d set them aside, he sat next to you against the window, a hand on your thigh.
“Better?”
“Probably,” you said, staring at the triangle of light beige carpet between your crossed legs.
“Need me to talk? You need to talk?”
“Not right now.”
Hawks was a dumbass. He’s such a fucking dumbass. But he’s a dumbass who’s here right now, and he’s interested (?) in you, interested in helping you. And good golly, you have to be touched. Hawks’s offering warmth, freely, potentially lovingly, and all you had to do was reach out to take it, even if you didn’t reciprocate whatever sentiment was motivating him yourself.
Do you really want to take what you have no feelings for?
Hawks lies a lot to Endeavor. To everyone. He might not have been lying earlier. What reason had he to lie?
Guess it didn’t matter, because you were lying.
But good God, you haven’t been kissed in a long time. Haven’t felt safe or loved. You could…you could indulge for a few hours in order to calm down. You could pretend.
The last ten months had proved that.
“Hey,” you said idly, reaching out to grab the inner fleece lining of his jacket to rub it between your fingers, “Hawks, I’m gonna—I’m gonna put my mouth on your mouth. Okay?”
Hawks’s wings ruffled and constricted themselves so that he could move closer to you, and his hand has migrated from your thigh to grip your hip—how could anyone’s hands encompass that much of you? Your fucking hands couldn’t, not in the way his does.
(Bird man big and safe.)
([No, fuck you, don’t think that.])
(BIRD MAN SAFE—)
Shoved is how you’d describe the first few seconds of the kiss, followed closely by wet and you’d think his teeth would be sharper. Your lips didn’t line up with his completely until he adjusted your chin with two of his fingers, guiding it open just barely, as well, so that his tongue could graze your teeth—it took you a moment of processing before parting them, with a final don’t think! shouted to your neocortex.
Birds have a higher body temperature than other animals, on average having a body temperature of 105 degrees Fahrenheit (40 degrees Celsius). The colour of their feathers, of course, affects how much light and heat they absorb, with the lighter coloured feathers—say, red—reflecting more, rejecting outside heat sources.
Yet Hawks gripped you like he’d fucking freeze if he weren’t clutching you, if he weren’t straddling your legs, one palm flat against the cool of the window by your head. The other snaked around you, his forearm lying almost vertically up your back to press down between your shoulder blades, keeping you as near to his chest (he probably didn’t realise it, but his fingers ran across the curve of your shoulder blades where his wings were on his own body.
For some reason, the thought crossed your mind that you weren’t enough for him, because you were too dissimilar.)
Don’t think!
When he massaged your tongue with his, applying pressure sporadically, you returned the action—have you ever seen a bird tongue up close? They’re fucking nasty little things, looking more like a grub than anything else. Thank God Hawks had a normal, human tongue that performed particularly delightful, normal things, like drag across the roof of your mouth and aid in sucking phenomenal hickeys onto your jawline, licking over where he’s bitten and kissed.
Stop thinking about bird anatomy. Hawks has no discernible bird traits except for his fucking wings. He’s not a fucking bird man. He’s just some dude with wings. And not all birds have functional wings; for example, the ostrich and the penguin do not have wings to be used in flight—
Oh, my fuck. Turn your brain off.
Your stomach lurched. That had been something Hawks had told you too often, back before your accident.
It’s what he wants.
Hawks fucking whimpered when you pulled the shorter hairs at the back of his neck, prying him away from your skin with great difficulty—he kept trying to touch you with his mouth and tongue in the process.
“Let me have more,” he said, panting, his breath heavy and just below your ear, “Please.” He pressed his lips to the spot in front of your ear in a weak kiss, having spent himself for the most part. “I’ve missed you so much, baby. I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me for so long.”
“I don’t—” You fake-stuttered, but it turned out you needed the time to put your thoughts into words. “I don’t think I’m back yet. I’m,” you said, taking as deep a breath as you could with Hawks smushed against your chest, “Something’s missing. Something big.” That’s right. Steer it back in his direction. Make the bird man sweat. “I don’t—something doesn’t feel right.”
It took a moment, but Hawks nodded fervently, shutting his eyes. “Of course. Yeah. Yeah, I get it, sweetheart. Can’t do anything when your heart’s not in it.”
Your heart’s not the problem. “Thank you for being so understanding, Hawks,” you said, untangling yourself from underneath him, “Would you just, uh, hold me for a while?”
His wings wrapped around the both of you on his enormous bed, still fluttering with each slow breath he took. Hawks almost looked genuine while he slept, and probably for the best—at least he was getting rest; at least his guard might be down.
You couldn’t sleep. Your mind was racing.
***
“Rank speculation is out,” you said, scrubbing the pumice stone over a patch of dry skin on Hawks’s back and scrolling through the twitter with your other hand, “Take a look.”
He opened the link you sent once he’d safely removed a dead feather that had been lodged in an odd spot in a wing. “Huh. Think I could truly take on Endeavor?”
“Well, he’s got that abusive-to-his-family thing, while you’re rocking the preparing-for-my-wedding look, and he can’t network non-aggressively to save his life.”
“Nor can you.” Hawks shot you a smirk over his shoulder.
“Zoom in on my speculated nine, baby,” you said, flicking away some dead skin with a satisfied/disgusted sneer, “And I didn’t have to sleep my way there.”
“Ah, ha, ha,” said Hawks, “Knew you could do it. Whoever’s told you that is gonna have to deal with my foot up their ass. You’re more than capable of getting there on your own.”
“Which I did. I have.” Wait. Hawks told you that. No, it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s a commonly said, misogynistic comment towards women heroes. Hawks isn’t special. “But having your foot up someone’s ass wouldn’t be good for PR, unless you wanted to advertise that you’re a kinky son of a bitch who’s cheating on his fiancée.”
“I would never,” said Hawks, and, contorting his arm, he grabbed your hand with the pumice stone to kiss the back of it, “But my PR is solid, regardless.”
“If the public knew how much time you had to spend preening these fucking wings, they’d probably appreciate you more. Or call you conceited.”
Hawks hummed. “It’s a necessary evil,” he said, returning to his wingtip to search for dead feathers. “Thank you for helping.”
“No problem. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t get to see how—Hawks, holy fuck. Do you feel that?” You ran a finger near the base of a wing.
“It’s your finger?”
“No, this,” you said, tapping the spot.
“No?”
“My God. It’s a dilated pore of a winer,” you said, already reaching for the tweezers, “Right at the base of your wing. It’s basically an enormous fucking blackhead. I’m popping it. Oh, my God. I’ve never seen one in real life.”
“You’re popping it?”
“You didn’t have a problem with my getting the ones where your costume sits.”
“No,” said Hawks, rolling back his shoulders, his wings spreading with them, “Gotcha. Get on with it.”
“Can I film it?”
“What? No,” said Hawks, “No one can see me preening, let alone dealing with acne.”
“There’s sure to be another hero out there with a wing quirk, right? I don’t know how you can’t feel it.”
“Yeah,” Hawks said slowly, “Since my feathers can feel—I suppose where the wings merge with my skin is pretty numb. I haven’t ever had to think about it.” He licked his lips. “Funny.”
He continued to scroll through his feed and tend to his feathers while you worked at his back. “Bad news: the tabloids got a hold of our grocery list from the last time we went to the shops. I must have dropped it at some point in the store.”
“Oh, so do they know what kind of ice cream we prefer? The horror.”
“No, but they’ve brought in some hack handwriting analyst. Talking about our annotations for each other on the list. Something about how you’re logical and I’m a romantic. The writer of the article is practically swooning.” Hawks pulled out a clot of feathers with his teeth and spat them aside. “With good reason, though. The trashy pictures they snapped of us are hot.”
“Describe them to me.”
“I can show you—”
“No,” you said, concentrating on your work, “I don’t want the image imprinted on my brain. Describe them in your own words.”
“All right,” said Hawks, crossing his legs and placing his phone on the coffee table in front of him, “To start, the flash is on.”
“Oh, fuck.”
“Yeah. We’ve got that distantly surprised look going on. It looks like we’re near the eggs and cheese. You’re not looking at the camera, but I believe it’s in the moment I caught it.” Hawks flicked away a feather and let it fall to the carpet. “My hand’s on your waist. The other’s on the cart. You’ve scrunched your face up in concentration; it’s really cute.”
“Aw, we should get it framed,” you said, wiping away the gunk with a tissue and wadding it up so that no one will ever have to see or touch it ever again.
“Never,” said Hawks, “The first picture of us I wanna get framed should be on our wedding day.”
“It’s coming along quickly,” you said, setting aside the tweezers, “Bit more quickly than I’d thought it would.”
“Yeah, I can’t wait,” said Hawks with a light laugh, and you ducked to rest your head against his shoulder, straining your neck to reach him over his wing.
Hawks clicked his non-nasty, non-bird tongue. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”
Sighing, you said, “Turn your head this way.”
He did you one better, since he anticipated your plan. He twisted around, keeping his legs crossed as he pulled you into his lap. His wings initially bristled but wrapped around you when his arms did, and Hawks kissed your cheek, once, twice, until he arrived at your mouth, where he barely grazed your lips, rather letting his hot breath spread over your face—and he grinned up at you with half-lidded eyes (he’d left off his eyeliner today, but the natural marks below his waterline kept his eyes sharp, anyway).
“Kiss me, you fucking idiot,” you said, overriding whatever he was about to do by kissing him yourself, hard and open-mouthed, almost violent in its fervent. Yet Hawks held you lightly, delicately, but still close enough to freeze.
You ran your cold, cold hands over his bare abdomen, pressing your thumb down with considerable force to trace his muscles (he grunted at that, and that’s it; that’s right—make him squirm; make him sweat; make him yours). His finger only toyed with the hem of his shirt that you were wearing, as if waiting for you, which didn’t line up with what you had garnered about Hawks at all, but c’mon, man, come on; didn’t you want this all those months ago? Almost a year, now? Years, if what he said to Endeavor is true? But when he flinched away with a shaky breath once your cold fingers circled his nipple, you knew this was where you were supposed to be: right here, in Hawks’s lap, completely destroying him with hardly anything at all. Nothing but light touches and a strategic flick of your tongue. Idiot man. He must really like you if this is doing it for him.
You slowed and opened your eyes at that thought, frowning, and you pulled away. With the back of his hand, Hawks wiped saliva off of both of your mouths, yours first.
He waited for you.
“If you can’t take all of me, then what’s the point?”
He tilted his head. “I’ll take whatever part of you you’re willing to share.”
“I’m missing something.”
“I know.”
“I want to find it before we get married.” You laid your palm flat on his chest, and he grinned at the cold.
“You can find it,” he said, “I know you can.”
“I don’t know what I’m blocking out,” you said, lying—or maybe you weren’t? Fuck it. “Whatever I’m repressing is really fucking with me.”
“Take your time,” said Hawks, running his tongue over his lower lip. “I’m here for—”
“Hawks,” you said, faking the light of realisation in your eyes, accompanied with a sharp inhale, “I can’t remember your name.”
Hawks’s mouth snapped shut.
“You told me once. I know you did,” you said, moving to cup his cheek after tapping the mark underneath his eye, “but the memory—there’s a blur where you spoke. I—” You cut yourself off, biting your lip. “That, that might be it. I don’t know. Everything else about the scene is in perfect detail. I remember what fucking socks I was wearing, for Christ’s sake. But you. What you said. Maybe it’s something so personal, so intimate, that I’ve repressed it. Maybe it was too much for me to handle.” You cupped his face with both hands now, forcing him to look at you. If you hadn’t been scrutinising him for some evidence of breaking character, you wouldn’t’ve seen the minute quivering of his upper lip. Hardly there, but it was there. “It’s a part of you that I want. Even if I couldn’t handle it before, I want to try now.”
Hawks averted his gaze, even though he couldn’t move his head. And bang, you’ve got him. Hawks’s name was still strictly secret, hidden by the commission, but if he’s genuinely in this dumbass situation for the long haul, if he’s truly in it for you, then he would have told you. Even if he wanted you to continue to call him Hawks, your own fiancé would have told you his damn name.
So, this is it. The way out.
Hawks was going to feel so stupid when he found out you’ve been faking all this time. Good. Let each feather burn.
“Keigo,” he said, staring into your eyes with a newfound determination, “My name is Takami Keigo.”
Oh, shit—you clapped a hand over your heart, your eyes widening. Maybe you could play this off as memory recovery instead of absolute shock? But you hadn’t any memories to recover, probably. Holy fuck.
Where do you go from here?
You tried to say his name but ended up simply mouthing it, and after clearing your throat and coughing a bit, you managed to say it aloud. “Keigo,” you said softly, reaching for his hand, “Keigo, I fucking love you.”
You’d only been kissing him for a few moments before his wings shuddered in a muscle spasm and flung you off to the side.
***
Only a commission higher-up witnessed your wedding. She stood silently to the side the entire ceremony in the courthouse and only shook Hawks’s hand afterwards.
You and your cat essentially moved into his penthouse and adjusted. Your mostly empty apartment stayed leased under your name.
Sometimes, you’d note that you turned your brain off and instantly be hit with a lightning strike of self-loathing—but you didn’t have to consciously decide to be affectionate with Hawks. Being with him came naturally and easily. Probably for the best, since if you had to think about it, you’d screw it up.
You stayed together. Supported each other. Sneaked out to see the other on patrol. Took care, listened to each other. Defended each other. Worked it out.
And now, you stared up at the ceiling fan whirling in your darkened bedroom, Keigo lying on his stomach next to you in the bed as he slept. Your cat catloafed between his wings and nestled into them, rising and falling with each breath he took. Hawks was perfect, always saving the day, working up a routine to mesh with your fighting style and quirk, always charming and easygoing with the people he rescued, indulging you in your ferocity, and Keigo, Keigo whispered sweet and dirty things into your ear when he spotted you in public, made you laugh, worked wonders with his cock, helped you clean up before he even thought of preening himself, held you, and made you feel held. He’s got it bad.
And maybe you do, too.
Hawks was going to feel so stupid when he found out.
312 notes · View notes
hangovercurse · 3 years
Text
Last Night
After another long night of drinking, you wake up with a raging hangover and a tattooed asshole.
Request: “After seeing you hungover I have a request.
From enemies to lovers where Kells and the reader have a drinking competition every time they go out and take it too personal and one day afterwards they share a horrible hangover and wake up in the same bed”
Colson X Reader
Warnings: Drinking, slight sexism, mentions of sex, cursing
A/N: I’m glad my pain could inspire you :(
Word Count: 2133
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You and Colson hated each other, with a passion. You couldn’t explain it, it was almost fucking cliché. He had invited your band to open for him on tour, which was great, until he realized that there was a girl in the band; you.
You had dealt with assholes like him for most of your life. People couldn’t understand why your bandmates would want a girl bassist with them, and so said people decided you weren’t good enough before you’d even played anything.
But this was different. Colson knew you were good. You didn’t know why he didn’t like you, but if he was going to be a child about you being on tour, you could stoop to his level a little bit.
And thus began your nightly drinking competitions. It was stupid, really, but you were determined to prove to him that you were more than your gender. So, you made sure to try and drink more than him as often as possible.
It was unspoken competition, but you both knew. Anytime either of you ordered a drink, the other was right behind. Most of the time, he won, as he had much more experience holding his alcohol than you. But every so often you would out drink him, and boy was it a sight to behold.
Tonight though, you were more determined to beat him than ever. You had overheard the boys talking about you at the venue before the show, which piqued your interest.
“What are you guys talking about?” You walked over to them; an eyebrow raised in challenge.
Colson’s face was a bit more red than usual, but you just chalked it up to the heat. “Just about how I totally out drank you last night. And the night before.”
You squinted at him, anger settling over you. “It’s not a competition, but if you wanna brag about being an alcoholic, be my guest.” You sneered, even though you knew it was a competition and he did, in fact, beat you.
Really that’s not what the boys had been talking about at all, but Colson couldn’t admit that they were talking about how much he liked you. He denied the accusations of course, saying that he actually couldn’t stand you, but all the guys argued with him.
He figured he knew his own feelings better than his friends, but he was wrong.
“Fine, then let’s make it one.” He said, pushing you.
You rolled your eyes, “and what would the winner get?”
“I’ll stop making fun of you if you win.” He smirked at you. “But if I win, I get one free crack at you a day and you aren’t allowed to get mad.”
You scoffed, “that’s bullshit, Baker. You already do that. You just want to show off to everyone how much better you are than them.”
“Fine, then what would you wager?”
You thought about it. “If I win, you leave me alone, completely, and you buy my drinks for a week. If you win, I’ll stop complaining about how egotistical you are.”
He nodded, “Buy my drinks for a week and you have yourself a deal.”
 And that’s how the two of you ended up 4 shots and 3 beers deep in a random bar in Colorado. You were stumbling all over the dance floor and each other.
“I really have to win tonight.” Colson mumbled into your ear. You hummed in question, asking him to continue. “I don’t think I can leave you alone.”
You pushed him backwards, but really ended up stumbling backwards. He reached out and grabbed your hips, keeping you upright even though he was just as gone as you. “I don’t know why you’re so mean to me.” You mumbled, a pout on your face. “I didn’t do anything to you.”
He chuckled, pulling you closer to him as the crowd got denser around you. “The guys think it’s because I like you. But I definitely don’t like you like that.”
His words were slurred, but so were yours. “Good. I definitely don’t like you like that either.”
Anyone who overheard your conversation could hear the blatant lies in your voices, and anyone who could see you would see that your feelings were evident as his head leaned closer to yours.
And that’s the last thing you can really remember.
 You woke up in a hotel room, head pounding as your eyes struggled to adjust to the light. You closed them when you realized that they wouldn’t and it was just making your headache more intense. As you came more to your senses you recognized the feeling of an arm around your waist, your bare waist.
Fuck.
You opened your eyes again, looking down to find your naked body underneath the sheets. Did you want to look behind you to the poor guy that you’d have to kick out? Not really. But you did so anyways, only to find the annoyingly familiar mop of bleached blond hair.
FUCK.
You turned your head away from him, burying your face into the pillow. How did you end up naked in bed next to the guy you’ve hated for literal months? Who, by the way, has also hated you.
You wanted to get up, put your clothes on, and escape before he woke up. But the feeling in your stomach told you that that would not work out in your favor.
The grunting next to you also alerted you to this fact. And the fact that your head hurt. A lot.
“Fuck.” Colson mumbled; his voice breathy.
“Shut the fuck up. My head hurts.” You mumbled into the pillow.
Colson moved his arm off of you, rubbing his hands over his face. You both laid there in silence, trying to remember what the hell happened last night. Until there was a knock at the door.
“Kells, get up. We gotta be on the road in 30.”  Baze yelled through the door, and you fought the urge to scream into the pillow. Why were people so loud all the time?
However, you heeded his warning and lifted yourself from the bed, sitting on the edge with your back facing Colson. Your body did not like sitting up, and you had to take a few moments to let your stomach settle before moving again. You scanned the room for your clothes, your head spinning.
You found your shirt and jeans near the door but couldn’t spot your underwear or bra anywhere. “Colson.” You mumbled, the words feeling like cardboard coming out of your mouth. He groaned behind you, alerting you that he was awake “Where’s my underwear?”
“I dunno. I don’t even remember us coming in here.” He groaned again, finally sitting up. He leaned down to the floor, picking up fabric and tossing it to you. “There’s one.”
You sighed and pulled the panties up your legs before moving to throw your shirt over your head, skipping the bra for now. You stumbled as you tried to pull your jeans over your legs, turning to find Colson mimicking your actions.
He had gotten his pants up to his stomach before he stumbled into the bathroom. “Fuck.” He mumbled before vomiting into the toilet. As much as you didn’t want to, you followed him in. You knew if you were this fucked up, you’d want someone to take are of you. Hell, you wanted someone to take care of you right now.
So, you sat down next to him, rubbing his bare back as he threw up into the hotel toilet. Your head began to spin even more as you sat there, so you rested your forehead against the nearest surface, said bare back. Your nose brushed the bottom of the G in his MGK tattoo.
Neither of you said anything, just sitting there in silence. After a few moments, Colson turned his entire body to you. Instead of saying anything or telling you off, he pulled you into his lap, your legs curling up against his stomach. You rested your head in the crook of his neck and closed your eyes.
It felt like the world was spinning around you. “I’m never drinking again.” You mumbled into his skin.
He let out a dry laugh, “do you even remember anything?”
“I remember outdrinking your ass and then I woke up in your fucking hotel room.”
“You did not out drink me, missy.” He mumbled, head falling down to rest his cheek against yours. “I remember you almost fell in the middle of the bar and then everything goes black. But I could make some assumptions about what followed.”
You would’ve rolled your eyes if you had the energy, but you couldn’t even lift your head off his shoulder. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
He shrugged, “do you?”
You shoved him to the best of your abilities while still resting against him. “That’s not an answer, dumbass. Why would drunk you wanna sleep with me?”
“Why does drunk me wanna do anything?” He asked. You mumbled in response and he continued, “do you regret it?”
You shrugged, “think I’d have to remember it to regret it.” He was quiet for a while, and you sighed, “but I don’t think I would’ve even if I could.” You hated to admit it, but you didn’t hate Colson as much as you tried to convince yourself you did. Truthfully, his teasing was both annoying but also the slightest bit attractive.
Colson pulled back from you slowly, a small groan falling from your lips as you had to hold yourself up again. “I thought you would’ve hated waking up next to me.” He mumbled.
“You’re one to talk.” You quipped, lazily.
He gave you a confused face, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
You shrugged, placing a hand on the counter near you to try to lift yourself up but not having the energy. “Just that you hate me. I don’t know why you’d even wanna sleep with me drunk.”
“I don’t hate you, Y/N.”
“You sure don’t seem to like me very much.” You were finally able to pull yourself up just a little bit, but his strong hands pulled you back down to the floor before you were even halfway up.
His hands were settled firmly on your hips, holding you in place, “I never hated you. I was… intimidated, at first.” You let out a dry laugh at his statement. “Seriously, I was. But then I realized that you’re actually really cool. I treated you like shit before that though and I guess you just got it in your head that I didn’t like you so every time I tried to get to know you, you brushed me off. Eventually I just gave up.”
You sighed, “I guess I’m just used to guys thinking I’m less than them, I figured you were the same as everyone else.” You shoved your face back into his chest, the light getting a bit too bright again.
He scoffed, “Seriously? I think you kick ass. That’s why I was so intimidated.”
You groaned into his skin, “I think you’re still drunk.”
He let out another low chuckle, “maybe, but I know what I’m saying.” You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his blue ones. “I’ve actually really liked you for a while now, but after I was an asshole, I knew you’d never go for me.”
You smiled, “Aww, does Kells have a crush on me?” You giggled.
“Shut up,” he mumbled.
You pulled him back towards you, “lucky for you, assholes are just my type.”
He cocked an eyebrow, “really?”
You nodded, “Yep. Blonde, tattooed assholes who rap for a living.”
He smirked at you, leaning closer to you and connecting his lips to yours. You pulled away pretty quickly. “As much as I’d like to kiss you right now, we both just woke up and you were just puking like 2 minutes ago. Brush your teeth and try again.”
He pouted, “yes ma’am.”
“Next time, you wanna try this sober?” You asked slyly.
“I never want to do anything sober, Y/N. But maybe I’ll try it out just for you.”
“Shut up, Baker. You’re such a fucking cheeseball when you’re hungover.”
He hummed in agreement, tightening his grip on you. Your head fell back against his shoulder, eyes closing. You don’t know how, but you ended up falling asleep in his arms. His chin rested on top of your head, and eventually he was lulled into sleep as well.
You didn’t wake up until you heard Baze and Slim’s laughter from behind you and the quiet click of a camera. You groaned, sitting up and wriggling out of Colson’s grasp. He woke up at your movements.
“Looks like you two had a fun night.” Slim laughed.
281 notes · View notes
please-buckme · 3 years
Text
A Broken Heart.
Lee Bodecker x fem!reader
Chapter 4
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Chapter warnings: none.
Chapter summary: You and Lee try and hash things out but there’s more to Lee than meets the eye.
Masterlist
Series Masterlist
Chapter 3 // Chapter 5
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The drive started off very awkward and completely quiet. You both cleared your throats from time to time to defuse the tension, which didn’t make a lick of a difference. It’d been years since you rode in Lee’s cruiser and the last time you sat in that very seat he’d broken up with you. Your chest heaved at the memory. You still felt the phantom tears against your cheeks when he drove you to your house. Never would you have guessed you’d be right back here at his beck and call. You thought you were stronger than that, clearly not.
You thought Lee’s hold over you had disintegrated a while after you left town, but clearly it hadn’t. He says jump and you say how high. Your breath hitched in your throat at the thought of it. He looked over at you which made you look over at him. His eyes were still that piercing blue that always left you speechless. His teeth were just as white as you’d remembered as you watched him toss a piece of candy in his mouth and grin.
“What’re you thinkin’ about, girl?”
You swallowed hard, “Heard you ain’t drinkin’ much these days. That why you’re eatin’ t candy now?”
He scoffed, “How did you get from drinkin’ ta candy? I can’t just have candy for no reason or just because I like the sweet taste on my tongue?” He smirked and suck the piece of candy into his right cheek. You watched him toss it around cheek to cheek before he spoke again, “And who told you that, anyway?”
You followed your arms and turned your gaze out the passenger side window, unable to answer him while watching him seductively eat a piece of candy, “I have my sources and I don’t ever remember you keepin’ a whole fuckin’ bag of candies in your car, is’ll.”
“Fuckin’ Karl.” He mumbled under his breath, trying to stay out of ear shout but you still heard him, “I stopped by Sandy’s on my way in and she gave me the candy, happy?” He asks rhetorically with a hint of sarcasm.
“Elated.” You answer him dryly anyway, “Why’re we goin to Ruby’s when there’re plenty of diners in town and are you even allowed to take the cruiser this far outta town, Bodecker?”
He sighs, “Why so many questions? I feel like I’m being interrogated.” He asks, already knowing the answer. When you’re nervous you can’t stop anything that passes your lips. You don’t like awkward silence and you’ll do anything to not have to sit in it. He always found that kind of annoying but aslo adorable at the same time. Eventually you’d start messing with his pens and steal a piece of his candy.
“Because I don’t trust you and I sure as hell don’t believe that bullshit about us ‘talkin things out so we can live in the same town again.’”
“Well, can you believe that maybe I just wanna catch up?” He asks, becoming a little frustrated.
“Why Ruby’s?” You repeated, stealing a piece of candy as Lee predicted. He missed having you around, he just wished it were under different circumstances.
“Because it’s your favorite.”
“Am I supposed to be flattered or something, that you remember my favorite diner?”
“Okay, you win. I officially regret this.” He sighs, slapping his hand down on the steering wheel. He seems annoyed but not angry. You watch his annoyed expression fall on you as he sighs. For some unknown reason you burst out laughing, leaning against the passenger door.
He laughs, “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing it’s just.. you’ve changed so much and yet not at all. I still know every look and every sigh and.. every move you’re gonna make before you even do it. It’s kinda refreshing.. but I still hate you.” You watch his face turn up into a smirk, displaying his gorgeous teeth. He almost looked pained as if he hadn’t smiled in decades.
“God, I missed you.” He admitted, immediately clearing his throat. He didn’t mean to say it aloud but it clearly wasn’t up to him anymore, his heart was speaking for him too. He watched you fiddle with the candy wrapper as you processed what he said.
You could feel his hesitance. Did he really miss you or was it just him trying to make you feel comfortable? You didn’t know how to respond, so all you said was, “Okay.”
//
Once you got to the diner, Lee rushed you to the back booth. You knew why, of course. Everyone in town seemed to be appalled with your very existence, as if you’d done something. You wondered if they actually knew why they didn’t particularly like you or if they were just following the crowd. Like if one person were to speak on your behalf and say you’re a nice girl if people would treat you differently. You just have to find that one person.
Lee sat across from you in the sparkly red, plush booth, you thought he looked kind of silly, big, professional man in a tiny glittery booth, but you kept that to yourself. The waitress came by and gave you both a menu, taking your drink orders before walking away. You scanned over the many different food items, suddenly remembering you hadn’t had anything to eat all day. It was eight in the morning and all you could think about was the pancakes.
You eyed the pancake special, becoming a bit more giddy than expected and Lee noticed.
“What’re you so happy for?” He asked with a goofy smile of his own.
“Nothing, I just haven’t had breakfast and the thought of pancakes excites me, is’ll.”
Lee chuckled, “You can get whatever you want, doll. It’s on me.”
“Damn right it’s on you. This was your idea.” You remind him just before the waitress comes by with your drinks; two waters and a coffee.
“What’re we havin’?” She asks.
“Just coffee for me and pancakes for this one.” He says with a tilt of his head towards you.
“S’at all?” She asks, both of you nod. She takes your menus and walks away again.
“So, what did you wanna talk about, Bodecker?” You ask, taking a sip of your water.
“First of all, you’re killin’ me with this ‘Bodecker’ and ‘Sheriff’ shit just say my goddamn name.”
“Hmm, remind me what it was again?” You pretend to think, tapping your index finger against your chin.
“Lee!” He’s genuinely annoyed now.
“That’s right. Um, no. I think ‘Bodecker’ and ‘Sheriff’ work just fine, more professional, if you will.” You begin to fidget with the straw in your water, twirling it around in the ice. You didn’t like how this conversation started, you felt suddenly pressured to do something you didn’t wanna do and that made you nervous.
“Why are you bein’ like this?” He asked with a confused expression on his face.
“You wanna know why?” You came on a little stronger than expected as you felt your cheeks heat up. For being the one to cause your awkward situation, you didn’t think Lee would need an explanation. You were a little applaud he’d even ask for one, especially knowing what a touchy subject it is for you.
“Well, if you’re gonna get all pissy, then no.” He put his hands out in protest, giving you a bewildered look, wouldn’t wanna upset the Sheriff, now would we..?
You sighed, “I’m sorry, it’s just- I haven’t said your name once since.. the last time we..” you trailed off.
“’The last time we’ what? What do you mean?”
“Can we just drop it? I wanna talk about how we’re gonna deal with me living in town. You gotta get people to stop ignorin’ me or actin’ like I’m some exotic animal they ain’t never seen before.”
He chuckled, “what do you mean? How they act like you’re ’some exotic animal’?”
“They stare at me in awe, mouths wide open, along with their eyes. You’d think I’m famous or somethin’.”
“Well, I guess in Knockemstiff, you might just be famous.” He grinned.
“Thanks for that. Just put on my tombstone ‘here lies the girl who got dumped by the Sheriff’... that’s my legacy.” You fade off, thinking of how tragic that actually sounded. You suddenly felt a burning in your chest. Your anger was building and you knew just who to let it out on.
“No, that’s not your lega-“
“Why me, huh?” You ask before letting him finish. “Outta all the girls to torment, why me?”
“Because I loved you.” He said with glossy eyes as if he’d wanted to say that to you in particular for so long.
“You sure as shit coulda fooled me. I’ve wasted a lot of time on you, Bodecker. I mean when we dated and after we broke up. I was a mess and the only person to make it better was you and.. and you never showed up.”
“You don’t think I wanted to?” He asked, losing his temp on you.
“No, I don’t, not because you loved me, anyway. If anything you only would’ve showed up as a way to forgive yourself.”
He scoffed, “How could you possibly think that?”
“Because.. you gave up on caring about me and my feeling the second you chose her. The second you agreed to be with her, behind my back, and dump me, is the second you lost the privilege of being my person.”
“If I could go back in time and undo what I did, I would. I’m sorry, y/n. I really am.”
“For what? For what you did or for how it turned out?”
He sighed, “Both.”
“I know you’re miserable and I know you don’t love her. So, did you really give up on us because you were power hungry? Being Sheriff meant more to you than our future together?” Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to fall.
“Yes, but I regretted it the second I saw the first tear you cried that day. I wanted nothin’ more than to take it back, say I was jokin’ or somethin’ but I couldn’t. The look you gave me in that moment.. I knew I’d already lost you. And yes, I think about where we’d be if I didn’t completely ruin us.” He faded off as he told you the daydreams that never leave his mind, “I picture us renovating your momma’s house, puttin’ up a white picket fence, havin’ a couple babies on your hips, my babies. Everyday I imagine it’s you I drive home to, not Laura-Jean. Sometimes I just picture you sittin’ on the porch with me on a hot day drinkin’ your momma’s famous sweet tea. And if I close my eyes I can see you laughin’ and with sun shinin’ right down on you, kissin’ your beautiful skin.”
You look around awkwardly, trying so hard not to make eye contact. If you make eye contact you’re done for, he might as well take you out of the diner that second because you’re good as fucked. You wanted to believe every word Lee said, you wanted to chop them up and eat them with your pancakes, but you can’t. He did you so wrong in the past that you just don’t think you’ll ever believe him or trust him in the future.
Lee looked at you pained but you couldn’t see it.Your eyes counted the speckled dots on the table in front of you, desperate not to look up, until. “Y/n, look at me.” And you did. Why did you look up? “You loved me in a way no one ever had and I fucked it up. I’m truly, deeply sorry for that, y/n. Whether I’m sayin’ it more for me or you, I don’t know but just know that I live with this mistake everyday of my miserable life. But, hey, at least I’m the Sheriff right?” He joke, giving you a sad smirk.
The sadness in his blue eyes made you want to crumble, get up from your seat and wrap him in your arms, but you don’t. All you can think about is how he reacted when you wore the same except look.
“Yeah, at least you got what you wanted, besides the picket fence and two healthy boys to call your own, and me. Happily married and sun kissed” You brushed it off as if his daydreams of you being married with children meant nothing to you, when really your entire body was buzzing. “And, just so you know, I’m way past needing to hear your apology. Right now I wanna eat my pancakes and work this shit out. Being gawked at like an exotic animal has gotten old. I’d like to be invisible again.”
He gave you a weak smile, “Okay.”
“Alright, here’s your pancakes and syrup. Can I get you anything else?” The waitress asked after handing you the warm plate of pancakes.
“You chocolate milkshake for the road, Doll.” He smiled up at, making you miss the loving smile he used to give you.
“Comin right up, enjoy.”
You talked, well, Lee talked while you ate and came up with a plan. Anytime he heard someone in town gossiping or spreading rumors he would interfere and steer the conversation in another direction. He said he couldn’t exactly defend you because it would look bad, especially during the campaign season and word would get back to Laura-Jean.
“Has she asked you not to talk to me yet?” You asked, stuffing your face with the last bite of pancakes.
“How’d you know?” He wondered.
“I was her best friend for 15 years, I know how she is.”
“You know about her crush on me when we was datin’?”
“Nope.”
“I can’t believe you never saw it. I knew she liked me before I knew you liked me.” He admitted.
You felt a blush creep across your cheeks, “Why not date her then? Woulda saved us a lot of heartache, don’t ya think?” You grinned but felt the pit in your stomach expand, again.
“Girl, I knew I loved you the second you said my name. That’s why I wanna hear you say it so badly. It sounds so sweet comin’ from your lips.”
You cleared your throat, desperately trying not to fall for his games, “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. Sayin’ your name is like a sin to me.”
“You never minded sinnin’ a little when you were with me, what changed?”
“Check please!” You motioned for the waitress. “I’m not feeding into this, Bodecker. I’ve played your mind games and I lost. You just worry about gettin’ everyone off my back and Laura-Jean won’t ever hear of us speakin’ or seein’ each other again, because we won’t be doin’ either.”
“You’re no fun.” He frowned.
“I used to be and look where it got me; Heartbroken and alone.” The waitress brought the check and the chocolate milkshake to go, “I’ll be in the car.” You said before standing from the booth and leaving the Diner.
The car was locked when you got there, so you stood and waited, twirling the straw around in the shake. You could help but think about Lee. How could he be so nonchalant about your past relationship?
Yours and Lee’s relationship meant everything to you. He was your first serious boyfriend and the love of your life. You felt like that meant nothing to him. Like you were some chick he had on the side for those 3 years y’all dated.
You sighed, taking a sip of your milkshake. Even with how angry he makes you, your mind slips away to the daydreams he has about you. He pictured y’all being married, which was no surprise to you because you guys talked about getting married all the time when you dated.
You closed your eyes, picturing it all. Two rowdy, little boys playing in the front yard, Lee sitting next to you on the porch swing with his arm wrapped around your waist. You could hear his boyish life ringing in your ears.
You were so lost in the daydream you hadn’t heard Lee walk up. You didn’t even know he was near you until you smelled his familiar musk and felt his hand touch your waist. Now you knew he was close, but before you could even think to open your eyes, Lee gently pressed his lips to yours in a quick peck, resting his forehead against yours when he pulled away. You hadn’t reacted the way you thought. You thought you’d recoil, spit in his face or throw your milkshake in his face. Instead, you felt the milkshake slip from your fingers, falling to the dusty ground as you grabbed his face, bringing him in for another kiss.
This kiss was deeper. You both felt every emotion you’d had bottled up for so long. Every tear that you shed and every crack in your heart was being mended just by the feel of his lips. You missed the feel of his freshly shaved, aftershave covered skin against your hands, the feel of his lips and how ridiculously plump and pink they were, or the little grunts he makes when you scratch at the nape of his neck.
You felt his protruding belly press against yours, pinning you up against the cruiser. The kiss became deeper once his tongue entered your mouth, causing you both to moan at the familiar tastes you both shared.
“T-take me home.” You pant against his lips.
“I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go.”
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Dm to be tagged :)
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I Remember (Malcolm Bright x Reader)
Request: uM hi saw ur request post while i was scrolling through malcolm bright x reader tag lol so may i request an x reader w malcolm where reader's gil's niece or smth so she and mal know each other before he joined the team- and one day where mal was being a dumbass and reader was told to drive mal home and when she was securing his restraints he jokingly asked her to sing to him aNd she did sing and fell asleep on the bed by opposite mal aND he got a good amount of sleep like no night terrors and next day he accidentally slipped that reader ''slept'' w him and gils just like excuse me wtf?? Djkdkdlsjsjs idk i got this idea when i was staring at the ceiling at 4 am instead of doing my essays that were due in the morningxD sorry its p long. Thanks and have a good day/night (by @iwillboilyourteeth), [Prodigal Son-Masterlist]
Summary: Malcolm got hurt again. What a surprise. And, as always, you were right there to take care of him. Tonight, though, things took a turn. For the better or for the worse? Only the future would tell.
Words: 2,142
Warnings: language, love me some sarcasm, fluff, so much fluff, I love writing for Prodigal Son (keep the requests coming)
Song used: “I Remember” by Jason Manns
If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤
You were sitting in your apartment when your phone started ringing loudly, interrupting your movie marathon. Sighing exaggeratedly, you checked who decided to annoy you at this time. It was not too late but you liked your alone time a lot. Gil. Oh no. That could never be good.
“Uncle Gil. I hope whatever you’re about to tell me is more important than Harry Potter.” pausing the movie you were currently watching, you did not even give him enough time to greet you. A loud sigh could be heard over the phone. One, that made you laugh.
“(Y/N).” his voice was stern & you knew better than to mess with him. Yet, you could not help yourself.
“Yeah, that’s me. You called me, after all.” joking to ease the tension, your giggling was cut short by his next words.
“Malcolm is a dumbass.”
“What a revelation.”
“He’s hurt.” Gil stated. Throwing your head back in frustration, you knew he only called you if he knew it was not too bad. But bad enough to need your help. “I need you to come get him.” it was not even a question, more like an order. Immediately, you grabbed the stuff you needed & headed out of your apartment towards your car.
“Can I yell at him for being reckless?” opening the door, you got inside but before you started the engine, you waited for the call to end. Could not risk getting youself hurt. Malcolm was the stupid one, not you.
“I already did that but I’m sure he’ll appreciate to hear it again.”
“Good.”
“Drive safe.” Gil noted.
“See you in ten.” & with that you drove to the precinct where he would most likely wait for you.
Growing up, you spent a lot of time at Gil’s. Malcolm was there almost always, so you got to meet each other pretty early on. Deep down, you cared for him. More than you should care for a friend. And because of him being a profiler, you were sure he picked up on that as well. Malcolm was just nice enough to not comment on it. Besides, he would tell you that he was too broken anyway. The thing was that it never scared you away. It did the exact opposite, actually. It only made you want him more.
Did you ignore almost every speed limit? Possibly. Your knuckles were white because you had gripped the steering wheel so tightly. One of these days, you would kill Malcolm. He kept getting himself hurt & you were tired of being the one to drive him home afterwards. Of course, you knew Gil only called you because Malcolm trusted you enough but that did not change the fact that you were exhausted.
“What happened?” approaching Gil, your eyes looked around for a sign of Malcolm. “And where the hell is he?”
“Bathroom.” his finger pointed over. “He didn’t call backup & thought dealing with it alone would turn out fine.” Gil was, you could tell, almost as tired as you. Not only of Malcolm acting recklessly but also because of a long day at work.
“What a surprise.” your sarcasm got the best of you. But it helped you coping with your feelings sometimes. “Uncle Gil?” his head snapped up when you said his name.
“Yes?”
“Go home & get some sleep. I got it from here, promise.” your sweet smile was convincing enough & with a nod, he turned around & walked away.
“(Y/N)?” Malcolm noticed you when he walked out of the bathroom. His face was covered in bruised & by the way he was limping, you were sure that his entire body had to be sore. “Where’s Gil?”
“I sent him home.” shrugging as if it were nothing, you gave Malcolm a look. He knew what it meant but apparently, he wanted to play dumb.
“What?” his head tilted slightly & if it were not for his damn puppy eyes & for the fact that he was hurt, you would be the cause of his bruises. Not quite literally but still. Rolling your eyes at him, you crossed your arms over your chest.
“You’re stupid, I hope you know that.”
“I do, but we caught the killer, so it was worth it.” he casually stated.
“Is it really worth risking your life, Mal?” shaking your head shortly, you were not in the mood to discuss this any further. A simple gesture of your hand was enough to show him that you wanted to get going. “Come on, I’m gonna bring you home.”
“You’re mad.” Malcolm noted when the both of you walked outside back to your car. Sighing loudly, you stopped for a brief moment.
“Yes. I’m mad because I can’t even count how many times we’ve been in this exact situation anymore. And it sucks. Because every single time Gil calls me, I think he’ll tell me that you didn’t make it out like you always do.” Malcolm’s eyes widened when you explained how you were feeling. Your body brushing past his made him turn around & follow you without another word. It was silent between you two until you arrived inside Malcolm’s apartment.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” he spoke up, his voice much softer now. When you saw him struggling to pull off his coat, you walked over to him to help him out.
“You don’t owe me an apology, Mal.” your back faced him when you went to put his jacket away.
“I do. You always take care of me when shit like that happens. And I wanted you to know that I don’t take that for granted. If I were you, I would’ve stopped caring a long time ago.”
“You know as much as I do that this won’t ever happen.” & it was true. Malcolm could mess up over & over again. Could get himself hurt & all that. But you would always be here to catch him, no matter what.
“I don’t deserve you.” his eyes bore into yours & by the look he gave you, you knew he was not talking about you taking care of him when he was hurt. He was referring to you as a person. Basically, he wanted to make you understand that he was not worthy of your love. Which was bullshit to you.
“You deserve so much & it hurts that you don’t see it.” the conversation dropped for the time being. Navigating your way through his apartment, you looked for something he could wear to bed. Soon enough, you found something suitable & when you walked back into the room ,you found Malcolm already sitting on his bed, head hanging low. He stopped you when he noticed your hands grabbing the shirt he was wearing. Sending him a confused look, your eyebrows raised in question.
“I think I can handle it from here on.” taking the clothes from you, he went to strip himself out of his workwear. Surprisingly, he could not move his body enough to achieve anything.
“Yeah, I can see that. Come on, don’t act like that, Malcolm.” it was not the first time you had helped him undressing. As mentioned earlier, the two of you had been in this situation too many times to count.
It did not take long & he was wearing comfortable clothes. After asking if he needed anything else, you went straight to his restraints & helped strapping him in. It amazed Malcolm how you were not weirded out by the fact that he had to be held down in order to have at least a few hours of sleep.
“(Y/N)?” his voice was barely above a whisper but your humming let him know that you heard him. “Can you sing something for me?” it was meant to be a joke, he simply wanted to ease the tension between you guys. Thinking about it for a second, you came to the conclusion that it would not hurt to do that. Maybe it would help him fall asleep? Malcolm eyes widened when you actually started singing quietly. It was soothing & he closed his eyes to focus solely on your voice.
Hey you, when I saw you walk in there
And I couldn’t help but stare
At the way you move your hands
‘Cause it’s the little things you do that drive me crazy
And now, let’s forget about the crowd
And just concentrate on us
So that you can know what I want you to know
 I remember how it started
You had everything I wanted
I was helpless to resist
But I didn’t want to
 Only if you would hold me tight
As we talked all through the night
About those things you won’t tell no one else
I know that we’ve got long ways to go
But I want you to know
That I’ll be there till the end, so don’t you worry
 I remember how it started
You had everything I wanted
I was helpless to resist
But I didn’t want to
‘Cause I fell in love with you-ou-ou
 After you finished, Malcolm still had his eyes closed, he just laid there for a while, recalling the words of the song. He knew what you were trying to tell him but if he had to be honest, he was scared. If the two of you were to try something, he thought you would leave him the moment you realized his demons were too much for someone to handle. Malcolm did not hear you leave his apartment, neither did he feel a movement. Opening his eyes slowly, he found you sound asleep right next to him. Your peaceful form made him smile brightly. Contemplating if he should wake you up, he decided against it in the end. Deep down, he knew you would not judge him he if he had a night terror next to you. And if he were honest, having you with him made him incredibly calm. That night, he fell asleep almost immediately, without any nightmares invading his dreams. The reason for it was you. Only you.
Malcolm woke up early the next morning. Work called. Okay, maybe Gild had told him to take a few days off but everyone who knew Malcolm, knew that he did not listen to such orders. Or any orders, in general. You were still asleep when he loosened his restraints. He left you a note behind before leaving his apartment for work.
“Didn’t I tell you to stay at home?” Gil questioned the second Malcolm entered the office where the rest of the team was already up & working.
“You did but I’m fine.” Gil rolled his eyes at his words. Usually, whenever Malcolm insisted on being fine, he was everything but. Examining his face closer, Gil was shocked to see him so…well rested?
“Wait. How much did you sleep last night? You look unusually awake.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s because I slept with (Y/N) last night.” Malcolm spoke casually & went to examine the pictures that were displayed on the table in the middle of the room. Gil’s eyebrows raised at that. Dani only sent him a weird look & JT almost choked on his coffee at Malcolm’s confession. There were some things he did not want to know & his love life was one of it.
“Excuse me, what now?” Gil was the first one to press the topic further. Everyone knew how protective he could get when it came to you, his niece. When Malcolm turned around, he found three pairs of eyes looking sternly at him. Wait, what did he say? Realization washed over his face & he only now noticed how wrong his words sounded without any given context.
“No, wait…That came out wrong.” closing his eyes briefly, he prepared an explanation for his confused co-workers. “(Y/N) drove me home yesterday & she helped me with my restraints & all. She fell asleep & I didn’t wanna wake her up.” Malcolm’s hands gestured wildly, not wanting to give them the wrong impression of last night’s events. JT pretended to understand what he explained even though he had no idea & frankly, he did not care too much. Malcolm had lost Dani’s interest a while ago, she continued working on the next case. Only Gil was left. He gave Malcolm a knowing look, went over to him & patted him on the shoulder.
“You better take care of her, Bright. Or you have to deal with me.” his threatening smile creeped Malcolm out but he knew Gil was only trying to keep you safe. Maybe you were the right one for him. Last night was proof enough. It was scary to take that next step but on the other hand, he wanted to take that risk. He wanted to give it a try. For the both of you.
Published (04/20/2021) by Cathy
Tags: @octopus5555 (thanks for your support <3)
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thatshithurted8 · 4 years
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Kiss Cam
Summary: Rafe takes reader out on a date to see her first ever hockey game. However, feelings are revealed when they are shown on the jumbotron for the kiss cam. 
Pairing: Rafe x !PogueReader! 
Word Count: 4.1k
Flashbacks are in italics!
A/N I know Rafe is a horrible character and person in the show, but he has so much potential for character development and I love Drew. So I decided to write a fluffy fic to show off Rafe’s soft side that he doesn’t show often.
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Never in a million years would you believe anyone if they told you a year ago that you would have a massive crush on Rafe Cameron. You would simply laugh in their face and walk away. However, that all changed one night when you were working a night shift at the 24 hour diner. 
You internally groan to yourself when you come out from the kitchen after cleaning up the empty tables. Sitting in a booth on the other side of the diner was Topper, Kelce and Rafe.  
Normally this wouldn’t be a problem. After all the diner was 24 hours, but you didn’t want to deal with the spoiled Kooks and the shit they tended to pull. You walk over to the only occupied table in the quiet diner with a closed mouth smile on your face as you pull out your note pad from your apron. 
“Hey guys what can I get for you guys to drink?”  You ask, causing the three boys to look at you. They were all intoxicated and were wanting something to eat to ease their late night munchies. 
“We don’t need anything to drink Y/N.” Topper says putting a half empty bottle of vodka on the table in front of him, causing him and Kelce to snicker. Rafe would’ve laughed along with his friends, but he was starting to sober up and he was dreading going home as his father would ridicule him in the morning for ditching his responsibilities and partying instead. 
You let out a sigh knowing the shit show has just begun. “Uh Topper you can’t bring outside drinks in here.” 
The blond rolls his eyes and brings the bottle to his lips, letting the alcohol fall into his mouth and down his throat, before handing it to Kelce who does the same. 
“If you aren’t going to respect the diners rules then I’m going to have to ask you guys politely to leave.” You say starting to get more annoyed by the second. 
“Aweh come on Y/N lighten up and have some.” Topper slurs while waving the glass bottle in your face. 
You open your mouth to ask them to leave, but Rafe beat you to it. “Topper fuck off and leave her alone.” 
Both you and Topper furrow your eyebrows in confusion at the boys comment. You’ve never really spoken to Rafe before, but you know all about his notorious reputation so hearing him stand up for you left you dumbfounded. Anxiety was washing over Rafe and he was done with his friends immature tendencies for the night. 
“Come on man we’re just having some fun.” Topper slurs.
Rafe didn’t want to be there and he could tell neither did you. “Let’s just go.” He says stepping out of the booth, his friends instinctively following him. 
You watch as Kelce and Topper stumble to the exit while passing each other the bottle of vodka before looking back at Rafe who was opening up his wallet. Rafe pulls out sixty dollars and places it on the table despite the group of teens not ordering anything. 
“For dealing with our bullshit.” He says looking at you with dilated eyes before walking out of the diner with his friends. 
Ever since that night you and Rafe started to run into each other more and more often. It seemed like every party you would attend he would be there too and vice versa. Eventually one night you both started talking to each other, drunk out of your minds. 
“Nice costume.” Rafe says sitting down beside you on the couch, refrencing your referee costume. You were wearing a long sleeve striped shirt with a helmet and all, the only thing you were missing were skates. 
You look over at the boy beside you and smirk at what he was wearing. Rafe was wearing a North Carolina Hurricane jersey and was accompanied by a stick. A part of you was envious of the Kook beside you. Being a Pogue meant a lot of things, but mainly was that you didn’t come from wealth, nor did you have a lot of money. So seeing him wearing a jersey with your favourite hockey teams logo on it made you a tiny bit jealous. You’ve always wanted one, but jerseys were ridiculously expensive. 
“Which player are you? Slavin? Staal? Aho? Fleury?” You ask naming off some of the players that play for the Canes. 
Rafe’s eyes almost pop out of his head when he realizes you watch hockey. “You like the Canes too?” 
You roll your eyes and move closer to Rafe due to the loud music. “Uh duh.” 
With that being said you and Rafe Cameron spent the rest of the night talking about hockey and getting to know each other. It turned out that you two actually had a lot more in common than you initially thought. Rafe was also showing you a side of him that not a lot of people saw, but this only made you realize that you judged the misunderstood boy too soon. 
After the Halloween party at Kelce’s, Rafe would show up to the diner more often just to see you. He eventually would ask you to hang out and watch the Canes play on his flat screen tv at his house. Since you were such a big fan of the Hurricanes you couldn’t turn down his offer, especially knowing the reception at your house wasn’t good so you couldn’t watch it there. Both yours and Rafe’s love for the sport led to him surprising you one night. 
“Come on come on!” You yell standing in front of the tv. Rafe stayed sitting on the couch leaning forward while watching you and the screen. 
You two watch intently as a player on the Boston Bruins skated towards your goalie in a breakaway, two Hurricane players speeding after him in desperation to get the puck out of his possession. 
However, they were too late as the Bruins player shoots the puck and scores, winning the game in overtime. 
“Fuck this shit!” You groan walking back to the couch and collapsing dramatically beside Rafe. 
Rafe also sits back in defeat, but he wasn’t as nearly as upset as you were. That mainly had to do with the surprise he had for you. “Aweh it’s okay Y/N they’ll beat em next time.” Rafe coos leaning over and wrapping his arms around you, but you push his arms away sulking. 
“I fucking hate the Bruins!” You exclaim standing up to go on another rant about how much you despised the team. Rafe was all too familiar with your rant about your least favourite team in the league, but he would never stop you from venting. After all, he thought it was so cute how worked up you got about hockey. 
After getting to know you Rafe realized that he was starting to catch feelings for you which said a lot considering he didn’t feel much anymore. It scared him at first when his palms would get sweaty or his stomach would flutter whenever he was around you, but he realized all he wanted was to see you happy. Which leads to the surprise he had planned for you.
“I know what will cheer you up. Stay here.” Rafe says standing up and grabbing the empty popcorn bowl. 
You sit back down on the couch with a huff while you waited for the boy you were starting to fall for to return. However, your thoughts were clouded by the game that just happened. It made you frustrated since they were so close to winning and the team you hated most were the ones to win instead. 
Rafe walks back into the living room without the popcorn bowl and his hands behind his back. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, thinking he was just going to get you more popcorn to cheer you up. 
The brunette walks over to you and sits back down. You look at him expectantly as he shows you what is behind his back. Your eyes instantly widen and your mouth falls open. In between Rafe’s fingers were two tickets to a North Carolina Hurricane game. 
“Surprise!” He says gracing a rare smile on his lips. 
“No fucking way!” You scream, covering your mouth. Good thing you two were the only ones home or Ward would have your head for being so loud. 
Rafe hands the tickets to you causing your breath to hitch in shock. “You’re playing with me.” You say looking down at the tickets in your hands then back up at Rafe. 
He smirks and shakes his head. “I know you’ve never been to a game and have wanted to always go.” 
You quickly place the tickets to your first ever NHL game on the coffee table before tackling the boy in front of you, causing him to laugh and his heart to skip a beat at the touch.
“Thank you so much Rafe.” You say before placing a soft kiss on his cheek then sitting back up to examine the tickets with admoration. 
A week and a half has gone by and the day you have been anticipating for has finally come. Currently you and Rafe were trying to find a parking spot at PNC Arena. You two left early that morning from the Outer Banks ensuring you guys would get there early that way you could look around. 
Rafe finally finds a parking spot and grabs a back pack from the back seat after he parks. You watch as he pulls out two Canes jerseys one for you and one for him. 
“It’s a little big, but you can’t go to a hockey game and not wear a jersey.” He says passing one of his jerseys to you. You blush and your heart skips a beat at Rafe’s sweet gesture. 
You both put the jerseys on and you put on your Hurricane beanie, the only memorabilia you did own before getting out of his truck. After locking the truck Rafe turns to look at you, his hat flipped backwards and he couldn’t stop the thoughts running through his mind. You looked so good wearing his jersey, but he wondered what you would look like wearing it with nothing underneath? 
He shakes the dirty thoughts out of his head as you two start to walk towards the doors of the arena. Your excitement was practically radiating off of you with every step you took. Rafe loved how happy you were, especially knowing it was because of him. 
Earlier that morning before he picked you up, Rafe was debating on hitting a line to ease his nerves, but he ultimately decided against it. Simply because he doesn’t want you to see that side of him. The side of him that everyone gossiped about. The side of him that made him the black sheep of the Cameron family. The side of him that made him a fuck up with no future. 
You guys go through security pretty quickly, but Rafe could tell your mood faltered slightly when you saw the crowded hallways of the arena. Despite being early there were still large crowds of people walking around, trying to find their seats. 
“Here hold my hand.” He says bending down to your ear so you could hear over the loud chatter of Canes fans and Tampa Bay fans alike. 
Your guys’ hands intertwine, causing heat to rush to your face. His hand was so big and rough in contrast to yours, but you liked it. As you two walk around the arena and through crowds of people Rafe runs his thumb softly on your skin in a soothing motion. 
After walking around the large arena for a bit you find a photo booth and you instantly drag Rafe over to it, causing the tall boy to groan. You push the curtain out of the way, stepping in with Rafe following after you. 
“Was this made for a child? Holy shit.” He remarks noticing how small the seat was. Both of you couldn’t fit on it which resorted in Rafe pulling you onto his lap, causing the butterflies in your stomach to flutter. 
You click a few buttons and enter in a two dollar bill despite Rafe’s objections of paying for the picture stub. The camera starts to count down from 3 and you wrap an arm around Rafe’s neck. 
“Silly face!” You exclaim, sticking out your tongue and crossing your eyes. Rafe copies you and sticks his tongue out, but he turns his head making it look like he was about to lick your cheek. The camera flashes signalling the first picture was taken. 
Rafe pulls you closer to him as the camera counts down again. Just before the camera flashes he licks your cheek causing you to start laughing while trying to wipe his saliva off of you.
“Rafe!” You exclaim while laughing, realizing that was the second picture. 
He simply shrugs his shoulders with a smile on his face then turns his attention to the camera that was counting down. Without hesitating you turn your head and place one of your hands on the other side of his face. You place your lips softly on his flushed cheek as the camera flashes, taking the third picture. 
Deciding to copy you Rafe does the same thing as the last picture, except he was kissing your cheek this time. After the fourth picture was taken he pulls away, but you two stare into each others eyes, both flustered by what you two just did. 
Your eyes glance down to his lips then back to his eyes. Rafe slowly moves in and so do you to the point your lips are inches away from each other and his minty breath was fanning against your mouth. 
Just as you were about to eliminate the distance between you two the camera flashes, taking the last picture, causing you to turn your attention to the slot that the pictures come out of. 
You reach forward, your arm still wrapped around Rafe’s shoulders and pick up the freshly printed pictures. Both of you analyze the pictures which made your hearts skip a beat at the same time. You put the photo stubs into your purse before getting out of the photo booth and entangling your hands again. 
As you two walk around the arena, exploring while the smell of popcorn and cotton candy filled your senses, Rafe noticed you eyeing a stuffed animal every time you guys walked by a merchandise stand. He finally pulls you over towards one and picks up the stuffed animal. 
“Do you want one?” He asks handing the plushy of the teams mascot, Stormy over to you. 
You smile down at the stuffed animal in your hands, but you put it back onto the display stand with wide eyes once you saw the price. Forty dollars just for a stuffed animal, it was ridiculous. You had other expenses to take care of back at home. You couldn’t go around spending your money every time you wanted something, even though you wished you could. 
Rafe furrows his eyebrows and picks it back up, looking at the price before walking over to the cash register. 
“Rafe it’s too expensive I’ll find something cheaper.” You say pulling him towards you before he could get to the check out. 
“You’ve been eyeing this ever since we got here. I’ll just buy it for you.” He says turning back around, but you stop him again. Him noticing the little things made you blush, but you weren’t going to allow him to buy it for you. He’s already spent a shit ton of money on you with getting the tickets and gas to the arena. 
“No it’s okay.” You say trying to grab it from him to put it back, but he simply raises it above your head. You groan and step onto your tipy toes to try and grab it, but he just raises it higher, an amused smile present on his face. 
The brunette walks over to the check out with the stuffed animal over his head while you continue to try to grab it from him. However, your attempts fail and Rafe ends up spending forty dollars on a stuffed animal for you. 
He hands it to you with a satisfied smile on his face, but you try your best to pretend you were annoyed that he didn’t listen. After all you didn’t want him spending his money on you. However, Rafe looked so happy with his actions that you weren’t going to put up a stink. 
“Thank you.” You say softly then hugging the stuffed animal of the ice hog.
“Anything for you.” Rafe says before he grabs your hand and you two continue to walk around. You spot Stormy the ice hog aka the teams mascot aka the life size version of your new stuffed animal. You squeal and speed walk over to the person wearing the costume, while dragging a laughing Rafe. 
You hand your phone over to Rafe and walk over to Stormy. You wrap your arms around the fuzzy mascot while looking at the camera with a smile going from ear to ear. Rafe snaps a few pictures, but seeing you smile like that made his heart race. 
After your photo op with Stormy you walk over to Rafe while a little kid runs into the mascots arms. “Lets get a picture together.” You say before asking a middle aged lady to take a photo of you two. 
Rafe wraps his arm around you and you place one of your hands on his chest. You two smile into the camera before retrieving your phone back from the nice lady. 
“Thank you.” You say smiling to her. 
“You guys are a cute couple.” She says looking between you two then walking away. 
Both you and Rafe blush and heat washes over your guys bodies. However, you quickly distract yourself from the sensation by looking at the pictures that were taken. The first picture was both of you smiling at the camera, causing you to smile at how cute Rafe looked. The second picture you were smiling into the camera, your hand still on Rafe’s chest. However, he was looking down at you with love and admiration. Which only made your heart beat faster. 
The second period was about to end and Carolina was down by two. This didn’t make Rafe happy whatsoever especially since the referees were clearly favouring the other team. It was sort of comedic seeing Rafe so angry considering you were usually the one to get emotionally invested in the games. But seeing Rafe get so angry and worked up made you feel a certain type of way. 
The buzzer goes off signalling the end of the second period. As players skate off of the ice and fans go to get food and use the wash room an exasperated Rafe cups his hands around his mouth while standing. 
“Hey ref’s are you pregnant? Cause you missed two periods!” The boy yells at the refs getting off of the ice before sitting back down beside you annoyed. You and the fans around you guys start to laugh at his comment. Hearing your laugh makes Rafe feel better and shortly after a small smile is present on his face. 
“I’ve never seen you so upset over a game.” You say to him. 
“Well the refs are making shitty calls and besides I want them to win for my girl.” He says looking around the arena and placing his large hand on your thigh. 
My girl. The butterflies in your stomach seem to be doing somersaults at his words. Too flustered to say anything you simply place your head on Rafe’s shoulder, inhaling his scent while playing with his fingers. 
The loud music in the arena lowers causing both of you to direct your attention to the jumbotron that was flashing every colour or the rainbow. 
“And now ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the kiss cam!” The announcer says throughout the speakers. 
Rafe snuggles closer to you as the kiss cam falls onto an elderly couple. The husband didn’t notice he was being filmed and being put onto display in front of thousands of people before his wife pointed out the jumbotron. 
The two kiss, causing the crowd to cheer and hoot for the older couple. You smile at this, hoping that one day you can find a love that is as lasting as theirs. 
The next couple the kiss cam lands on is two young adults. Both of them notice right away and the crowd cheers them on. However, they both shake their heads in disgust while the guy mouths “She’s my sister.” This causes the crowd and both you and Rafe to laugh. 
As you both watch intently for the camera to land on it’s next target your stomach drops when you see you and Rafe being projected onto the large screen. 
You lift your head off of Rafe’s shoulder then look at him while laughing comfortably.  A nervous smile is plastered across Rafe’s face, but as the crowds cheering gets louder the boy beside you starts to lean in. 
The crowd goes crazy seeing your lips just mere inches from each other. You both stare into each others eyes, the shouting around you drowning out. Despite being in front of a crowd of thousands of people it felt like it was just you and Rafe. 
“Can I?” He asks looking down at your lips before meeting your gaze once again. 
You simply nod your head yes and Rafe wastes no time in placing his lips onto yours. The crowd erupts with more screams, cheers and wolf whistles. You kiss him back, placing your hand on his shoulder. 
The kiss was soft, but yet so passionate and so telling of how each other felt. You’re the first to pull away, the camera still focused on you two. Without any hesitation you lean in kissing Rafe once again. 
This time the kiss was deeper and Rafe caresses his hand against your cheek. The crowd cheers one last time before the camera moves onto it’s next unsuspecting victims. Rafe swipes his tongue along your bottom lip and you gladly give him access to your mouth, allowing the kiss to become deeper. However, you both pull away for a breath of air. Your guys’ surroundings set in as you do this. 
“I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile.” Rafe says truthfully, sitting back and placing his hand back onto your thigh. 
“Me too.” You softly say resting your head back onto his shoulder with a warm heart. 
Rafe knew it was going to be a long day considering he had to drive three hours to the hockey arena and another three hours back to the cut and figure eight. Although, he didn’t expect you to pass out basically right away. After all, you spent a lot of time working night shifts at the diner. 
With you being fast asleep it gave Rafe a lot of time to think to himself and he came to a lot of realizations. For starters he didn’t know if he was comfortable that you worked basically by yourself so late at night most of the times. 
This worried him because the diner you worked at was a hangout place for both Pogues and Kooks alike, which means any one could walk in without seeming out of place. That being said Rafe’s anxious mind made him come up with a scenerio in his head where Barry would walk into the diner late at night, realize you were friends with him and do something to you since he still hasn’t payed him back. 
But every time an intrusive thought slithered it’s way into his mind you would stir in your seat, causing Rafe to redirect his attention to you then back to the road. It was like you were trying to tell him to stop overthinking things. 
After three hours of listening to the radio and his thoughts Rafe finally turns off of the highway and drives into Outer Banks. He stops at a stop light, the red light illuminating your face in the dark. 
Rafe couldn’t help but admire you. You looked so peaceful resting your head against the window, while cuddling the stuffed animal he bought you. Rafe moves his thumb across your thigh in a soothing manner, but instantly hisses when the car behind him honks. 
The brunette steps on the gas since the light turned green, but he makes sure to give the car behind him the finger. He didn’t want them waking you up. 
With just a few minutes left in the car ride Rafe comes to one final realization for the night. 
He was in love with you. 
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Text
Cross the Line- Bakugo X Reader 18+
WC: 3.5K
Warnings: Angst, Anger, Unprotected Sex, Swearing
 “I am pregnant, Kaa-Chan.” You whispered as his hand was wrapped around your throat intent on killing you. He lowered his hands and walked away. You were the enemy, the one he had to kill.
~~~Eighteen Months ago~~~
“Y/N. You understand the mission, correct?” Shigaraki asked.
“You know I am not a fucking idiot? Who do you mistake me for? Chisaki or Dabi?” You retorted back.
“Y/N.” Shigaraki gave you a threatened tone.
“Get close enough to the loudmouth hero to kill him." The sarcasm dripped from your tone.
 "Good girl." He replied and left you alone.
For a few months, you followed Bakugo learned his schedule. You learned where he lived, how often he trained, his shopping habits, but most importantly, you learned that he didn’t have a significant other.
It was easy to become his neighbor, and for you to keep ‘bumping’ into him, but the hardest part would be getting to be part of his agency.
~~~Fifteen Months Ago~~~
“Hi! I am Quiver!” You were standing in front of Lord Explosion Murder in his agency. His crimson eyes narrowed looking at you in your hero suit. It was black and skin-tight with red accents.
“Do you want a fucking cookie?” He asked with disgust in his voice.
“Oh?” You feigned innocence. “Well, I am your new sidekick, but it looks like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I will just leave you alone.” You told him and you walked out of his office. You had heard he was difficult to deal with, but this wasn’t what you were expecting. You decided that if he was going to act like a complete and utter jackass you weren’t going to take it.
“Oi!” He came charging out of his office at you. “What the hell dumbass?” He yelled at you.
“Hm, well if you’re going to take that tone with me, I will come back tomorrow when you’re less stressed.” You told him as you walked out the door. You went home for the rest of the day.
The next day morning you had arrived and entered Lord Explosion Murder’s office again.
“Good Morning! I am Quiver!” You greeted him chirpily.
“Who the hell do you think you are leaving like that yesterday?” He yelled at you again. You turned around and left again. This continued for the rest of the week. He didn’t learn very quickly, but being cute probably helped him, you thought to yourself. By Friday, he had left you a seething voicemail saying how lazy, rude, and entitled he thought you were and that you were fired. You replied with a very short text stating, “K.” You knew it would probably anger him more. You weren’t there to make friends, you were there to kill him. 
When you arrived at work the following Monday, the receptionist's eyes grew wide. She very clearly heard the voicemail and very deliberately chose to ignore it.
“Good Morning, Sir.” You said as sweetly as possible. Lord Explosion just stared at you as if you were a ghost.
“I thought I fired you.” He said as calmly as he could. 
“Oh, you did? I didn’t really listen to the voicemail. I never do, but it seems as if you learned your lesson from last week.” You said with a hint of condescension.
“I don’t have time for you Dumbass. Just leave.” He told you with a huff of annoyance.
“Oh, Dumbass is a pet name?” You asked him. “I know that a sidekick isn’t what you want, but in order to be more appealing to not just the commission, but the general public as well.” You told him. Yes, you were all too well aware of his “image”, but with you working for the enemy, you truly didn’t care.
“Fuck, you’re right” he mumbled under his breath. He looked at you over steepled fingers. He stood quickly, to close the door to his office.
“Alright, Quiver, let’s begin.” He began as he sat back down in his office chair. The rest of the day, he went over rules for the office, his expectations for you, and how often he expected you to train. The rest of the week was tough but doable. The weekend didn’t come fast enough for you. As your patrol finished you got your weekly text from Shigaraki. You rolled your eyes and ignored him. The best thing about this job did not only do you have to stay away from the small hideout, but you could sleep in on the weekends, and you didn’t have to hear Kai or Dabi bicker.
Lord Explosion Murder noticed your smile. He saw how happy you looked after receiving your text.
“What’s got you smiling so big, Dumbass?” He asked you paying a little too much attention.
“Oh, nothing really. I get to sleep in tomorrow. As much as I enjoy working, I do enjoy a day off too.” You replied.
“You sure seemed happy after that text though.” He said with a hint of jealousy that did not go unnoticed by you.
“Oh, that was my annoying ass friend. He is going on about working hard and blah, blah, blah. I swear to goodness, his crusty ass is getting ignored all weekend.” You vented.
“Oh. Well. Okay, do you need me to walk your dumbass home?” He retorted not really sure of what to say.
“No, I am good!” You waved goodbye and ran at full speed to get home. You ran to your apartment in the building, showered quickly, changed, and fell asleep. 
The next morning you awoke to a yell, the voice sounded familiar, but you couldn’t place your finger on it. You walked outside to yell at whoever was causing the ruckus.
“I told you, nerd, that is not in bounds.” The male yelled. Looking down from your balcony, you saw Lord Murder Explosion. You did pick this apartment building because he lived here, but didn’t realize that he was his hero identity 100% of the time. 
“Hey, asshole? Could you shut your mouth? It’s too early for you to be yelling!” You shouted over your balcony to the group below.
“It’s the afternoon, dumbass!” He shouted back to you.
“Kaa-Chan, be nice. She’s your neighbor.” A green-haired man said.
“ You wanna fight? I could take you right now.” You shouted.
“Oi! Get down here and say that to my face!” He said the anger rising within himself. Without thinking, you jumped down ready to fight him. When he gave you his wide smile, your heart stopped for a moment.
“So you want to fight?” He asked with the most curious look on his face.
“Bakugo, don’t do this.” The green-haired man begged him. “The press will be all over this.” You knew with him there was always someone watching.
“Bakugo, don’t.” His friend with red and white hair said holding him back. It was no use though, he was in your face and chest to chest. You felt his warmth. The onlookers continued to gather, many with phones out ready to watch the fight. You knew that there was only one option in this case. 
You grabbed his shirt, and quickly closed the gap between the two of you. His lips against yours, and while his body was tense, he was not fighting it. You pulled back a moment, and looked up at him.
“Well isn’t this something Lord Explosion Murder?” You whispered before turning away and going back to your apartment/
~~~12 Months Ago~~~
The following Monday morning was awkward for Bakugo, but you didn't pay any attention to it, you really didn’t want to bring any attention to you at all. However, that isn’t what happened. You did bring attention to yourself and of course Shigaraki was very upset. The news died down pretty quickly, though, probably due to his one friend being Endeavor’s son.  The next three months though passed quickly and you never thought of the kiss again. 
The nights you patrolled with Bakugo he didn’t mention the kiss, he didn't’ mention anything about you knowing his hero identity, but he did try to get to know better. You were on the last patrol of the night, just before you said goodbye for the weekend, Bakugo spoke to you.
“So, uh. Quiver. Y/N. I don’t know what you want me to call you, but if you’re not busy, I’d like to take you out on a proper date or something.” A light pink dusting on his cheeks as he asked you.
“Is this because we kissed forever ago?” You questioned.
“No, Dumbass. Out of all the people, I hate you the least.” He retorted.
“Oh, how very manly of you.” You laughed at him.
“No. Forget it. It was very stupid for me to ask you.” He said walking away looking dejected.
“Tomorrow. 8PM. Don’t be late.” You told him as you skipped home. Getting this hero to die would be easy, so you thought.
The next day, you woke to a very angry phone call from Shigaraki. He demanded answers for why it was taking so long. If anyone else had done it it would’ve been done by now, and other bullshit you didn’t have time for. You knew that everyone would notice it was you right away. So while you ignored your phone call, you focused on your date this evening. The day flew while you were taking care of errands and miscellaneous tasks that you’ve been putting off for too long. 
Before you knew it, there was a knock at the door, you went to open the door, and saw Bakugo standing there with flowers.
“These are for you.” He thrust the flowers toward you while looking away.
“Thank you, these are beautiful. While I put them in water, why don’t you make yourself at home? I still need to put on my makeup.” You told him.
“Really? I don’t think that is necessary. I mean, you look beautiful the way you are.” His face was getting redder and redder. 
“Thank you, you’re very kind. I will be but a moment.” You told him as walked into the room. A few minutes you were ready.
“Okay, I am ready. What are the plans for tonight?” You asked him curiously.
“Well the stupid nerd convinced all of us that went to UA together to hang out. They want to have a few drinks and karaoke.” He admitted annoyance laced in his voice, but the look on his face told you otherwise. The night was fueled with alcohol, laughter, and memories. You knew that you had to keep it professional, and your job was to eliminate him, at least that is what you kept telling yourself.
The following months went by fast, when you weren’t working, or training, you were hanging out with Bakugo and his hero friends, or just the two of you. Everything was blissful.
~~~9 Months Ago~~~
Angry with the lack of contact and results from you. Shigaraki had enough and was going to take things into his own hands even if you were a casualty. 
“Dabi, I need you to go and see what is taking Y/N so fucking long.” He demanded. “Don’t kill her yet, we will kill her when we kill that loudmouth as well.” 
Dabi just shook his head and walked out the door. Whatever you were doing wasn’t his problem. To him, getting rid of you wouldn’t matter to his plan. So he did as he was told. He followed you and learned your schedule over the next few weeks. 
“She’s so fucking predictable.” Dabi said to himself as he snapped a picture of you and Bakugo kissing. When Dabi returned, he informed Shigaraki of what he found, and together, they plotted your downfall.
~~~6 Months Ago~~~
Bakugo had awoken to a phone call in the middle of the night. He felt you stir in your sleep next to him. He rushed getting his things together and left slamming the door behind him. You turned over in the bed and looked at the alarm clock. The bright red number read 2:43 AM.  You texted Bakugo quickly. He responded with Hero Shit. I’ll be safe and see you soon.
You couldn’t sleep. You got up and paced around his apartment. There was something gnawing at the back of your mind. If it was an urgent matter, you’d be called as well. If it was something more serious, they’d only call in the Professional Heroes. Which led you to believe that this was the case. 
Two hours later, a very tired Bakugo entered the apartment. You ran into his arms, and held on to him for longer than you should have. 
“Were you worried about me dumbass?” He asked you playfully, but the worry was thick in his voice. There was no mistaking it.
“No. Never, but if I didn’t get called in with you, it must be serious.” You told him. You knew you were lying. You were worried, and that scared you more that whatever he was just told. It meant that you had already failed in your mission. That you actually cared.
“Y/N. I need you to know this. I love you, and I will never let anything happen to you. The League threatened us. Specifically, you and me.” Bakugo told you honestly, and openly. “They didn’t give a specific timeline, it was just a general threat, but I thought you should know. Keep your guard up.” 
Your heart leaped at his words. You knew you failed. You knew you weren’t supposed to fall, but you did.
“I love you too, Katsuki. I will stick so close to you, you’ll wanna hurl me off the balcony.” You replied. He kissed you deeply with every emotion he felt. He pulled you into the bedroom to further explain how he felt.
~~~3 Months Ago~~~
The two of you were public, there was no denying it. The Commission felt the transparency was necessary to let the League know that a threat wouldn’t stop anyone from living their life.  The public cheered for you. The threat was always in the back of your mind. You weren’t sure what scared you more, Shigaraki ceasing all contact with you or the calm that had come over the city.
During your late-night patrol, you and Bakugo happened upon a crying child. Bakugo quickly picked up the child. Cradling her in his arms, and trying to soothe her. It was right then you realized, you wanted a family. Life of a villain wasn’t conducive to having a family. Bakugo found the child’s parents within a matter of minutes, and if you weren’t sure before, you sure were in love with him.
You dragged him into a dark alley where no prying eyes could see the things you were about to do. You took him and pushed him against the wall, and kissed him hard. He happily grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer, pressing his hardening length against you.
“What are you doing?” He hissed into your neck where he left a trail of kisses, causing you to shiver.
“I saw you with that child, and I thought why not try right now?” You shot back. You unzipped his pants to free his hard dick. Your eyes grew at his size every time you saw it. You undid your pants and pulled them down, exposing your dirty little secret, that you weren’t wearing any panties.
“Y/N.” He groaned into your ear as he pressed eager fingers into you. “Shit. You’re so wet for me already.” You took him in your hand and started stroking him slowly. 
“You know if we weren’t in the middle of a patrol, I’d definitely take my time.” He told you in between breaths.
“I want you Ka-” He kissed you hard, entwining his tongue with yours. He was so needy for you. He grabbed you by the hips and lifted you on top of him, making sure you and he were lined up. He slowly entered you. The way his hips moved slowly at first to let you adjust and then quickly increased his speed made you moan loudly.
“Keep quiet, dumbass. I don’t want to get caught fucking you on camera. Although that would be pretty hot.” He smiled at you. You were already so close for no good reason. You felt yourself release on him.
“Well, shit. You were already hot for me huh?” He asked you cockily and he increased his speed. You couldn’t deny it felt amazing. 
“Tell me where you want me to come, because if you want a child I will give you one.” He teased you. All you could do was nod at him.
“Oh, did I fuck you stupid?” He asked you smugly.  He didn’t wait for an answer, he released deep into you, painting your walls white with his seed. He kissed you once more before dressing and acting like he didn’t just fuck you in a dark alley. You got your bearing and did the same.
~~~Present Day that Morning~~~
You had been feeling off all day. It wasn’t like you to feel sick, but here you were feeling nauseous. You ran to the toilet and slammed the door behind you. You let all of your breakfast out.
“Dumbass! Let’s get going, we’ll be late for the meeting.” Bakugo yelled at you. You immediately felt better, quickly rinsed your mouth with mouthwash and walked out the door.
The Commission had summoned all heroes and their sidekicks for a meeting due to the increase in League activity. You often wondered what Shigaraki was thinking, but since he was number two, whatever it was that number one wanted he got.  The meeting was boring and lasted a while, and there wasn’t any new information. You were dismissed and were told to continue on your patrol routes as normal. 
You felt that same feeling coming over from this morning. You quickly left and ran to the bathroom. You sent a quick message to Bakugo telling him you weren’t feeling well, but you’d see him on patrol. You went to the corner store where you picked up some medicine. You came across the pregnancy tests. You hesitated for a moment, decided against it and kept going. The gnawing feeling at the back of your mind started up again. It didn’t let up until you had a test in your hand.
You headed back home, took some medicine and ripped the test open. You knew you couldn’t be pregnant. There was only one time you and Bakugo haven't used protection, and you had your period since then...right? You didn’t think twice about it, peed on the stick and waited for the results. 
It was on your patrol route that evening, when you were confronted by the League.
“Hello, Y/N.” You heard a deep voice.
“Dabi?” You replied, he was ready with his quirk with intent to kill.
“I don’t think so.” Bakugo came charging at him with rage in his eyes. 
“Do you think that some pathetic grenades will stop me from killing her? She betrayed us for you.” Dabi confessed. The look on Bakugo’s face changed from rage to utter betrayal. He shook off the words. He didn’t actually believe you’d do that.
“She loves me, you dumb piece of shit. She’s one of us.” He barked at Dabi, firing shots at him. 
From the shadows emerged Shigaraki, he silently walked up behind you and clicked his tongue.
“Such a shame, that boy is a fool.” He left you alone for a moment and went over to Dabi.
“Well, if you are one of us, Y/N, finish the job you were sent to do.” Shigaraki shouted to you. “Kill this hero that stands in our way.”
Before you knew it, you were pinned against the wall. The anger that radiated from Bakugo’s body was undeniable. His hand wrapped around your throat, tight enough to kill. You gasped, clawing at his hands.
“Kaa-Chan, I’m pregnant.” You whispered. He lowered his hands and walked away. You were the enemy, the one he had to kill. He fought back Shigaraki, and Dabi enough until other heroes arrived to help. He walked back to where you were, all of the feelings he felt for you were real. How could you betray him like this? All his hopes of having a family, being a father, being a husband, and a great hero; were crashing down as soon as they were built. The pain in his face was almost audible, it broke your heart. He took a deep breath, got super close to your ear.
“You’re dead to me. I loved you. I gave you everything I had. You’re lucky I didn’t kill you right here and now. Get your shit out of my apartment. I never want to see you again.” The venom dripped from his words. He turned around and didn’t look back.
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