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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 year

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Wildflower

Previous chapter/ Last chapter

a/n Well, looks like we're here for the final rodeo. I really hate this for some reason so I hope it's just my overthinking little brain. Thank you to everyone who joined me on this journey! It was a pleasure. ✨🌟🤍

warning: some battle scenes but honestly nothing mire crazy then we had before. Not proofread cause it's midnight!

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The warmth that surrounded you was uplifting. Soothing and still. For the first time, your head felt clear. Free of thoughts. Nagging voices. There was nothing there. Utter calmness. Something that you haven't experienced in what feels like forever. The heart that beat under your ear was your newfound source of comfort. A home that had been empty for decades. Lost and cold, but now found and ready to be rebuilt.

The soft silks that had felt so cold for so long now felt more than inviting. Eris made them more than inviting. Your fingers carefully ran through his hair as you moved your head slightly so you could study him while he slept. After you bathed, you two stumbled back to the bedchambers. Eris refused to let you go, so that's where you two stayed. As sleep gradually overtook you, you were wrapped in each other's arms. Limbs tangled together with no space left in between. Both exhausted from trying to fight for a better future.

You studied Eris's features. His sharp jaw. The freckles that ran all across his face. You've never noticed those somehow. You couldn't help but wonder if you studied them for long enough, would you be able to find little constellations? His pouty lips looked so deliciously inviting. Resisting the urge to kiss the fireling was quite a challenge. The scars that painted Eris's face when he returned were gone; only light pinkish lines remained to show the resemblance of the brutal night.

You came to a complete stop when you heard the door open. Hoping that the servants would just leave after noticing you two still in bed. But the quiet murmuring made you lift your head from your lover's chest just slightly. To the sight of your face, Juniper took off running before jumping onto the bed. Her tiny frame, carrying so much excitement, was launched right at Eris's lower stomach, making the male wake up with a jolt as he let out a painful breath.

"Eeee!", she squealed, wrapping herself around him and wiggling from side to side with excitement. Eris's big hand held her from behind, soaking in the warmth of his little sister. You studied them with a fond smile, your heart swelling with happiness. Even in his sleepy state, the love Eris had for her was evident. Your eyes drifted to the door, however, where Tabias still stood. Unsure if he was also welcomed in such a venerable moment.

You tapped the side of the bed gently, inviting him in. Like you had done more than once now. The boy stayed by the door just for a moment before walking towards you and climbing in slowly. Tabias studied his two siblings. His sister was now in fits of laughter as the oldest one tickled her sides. Not jealous, yet craving that same love-filled interaction. So you wrapped your hand around him. He didn't fight it when you brought him closer to your chest; a lazy smile painted his face as you two fell back into the mattress giggling.

"What are you two doing here?", Eris turned to Tab before dragging the boy by his arm out of your chest so he could love on his little brother as well. "Rory said you were back," Juniper admitted as she took a seat in the middle of the bed, hands fidgeting with the material of the sheets.

"And she said that you were going to leave soon, so we wanted to see you," a harsh slap of realization. A meeting still had to be held. So many things still needed to be discussed. Yet you couldn't help but wish you could just stay in this happy bubble with them forever. But in order to keep them safe, you needed to finish what you started. Your wish was not only to see Eris as a high lord but to save them all and bring them the peace they deserved.

Your eyes trailed back to the three siblings, still beaming at each other. Eris was going to be an amazing leader. If this side of him was shown to his people and he'll lead with his heart on his sleeve, Autumn was going to be unrecognizable. "Will we live together after this?", Juju's words brought you back to reality. Such an innocent question was followed by her curious eyes studying you, "Would you like that?" Pushing a strand of her wild hair, you smiled at her.

The little girl nodded her head quickly, clapping her hands together, "And we will keep lots of bunnies". Juniper was practically glowing. You wondered if the same fires that ran within her or if it was just pure excitement. "Well, I don't know about that, lovie," Eris argued quickly, yet his voice stayed smooth and soft. "We should adopt a little fox", Eris gapped at your words. As if he was scolding you for adding more fuel to the already blazing flame that was Juniper, but you only smirked at him.

"Yes, yes, and we can build them little houses alongside ours", her big amber eyes beamed as she held onto your hand, "We can also grow carrots for the bunnies ourselves. I'd love to have a garden."

Even if you never let yourself think about the future. The Future that would involve them three. You let your mind wander for a split second. Envisioning what life would be... what it will be after all of this. Scrape all fancy titles and homes. You never cared for those anyway. You wanted the cabin that Eris had. Maybe you all could rebuild the one that was burned down. Nothing too big. Just enough for you all and all the animals, of course. Where nothing and no one would come after you. A true family built on love.

"You will come back this time, right? So we could do all of this", Juniper's voice suddenly turned sad, and you felt your heart aching, "How about we don't make promises this time?" She only shook her head, clearly not pleased with your answer, "But that gives you a chance to not come back, and we want you to come back, right, Tab?", Juju pulled at her younger brother's shirt as if asking for him to speak up.

"Yes, you better come back. Eris needs a high lady by his side, and we... also need you," he said, eyes gazing at his hands at the last words, but you could tell they came from deep within his heart. Special. They were all so special. "Come here, you two," you said, wrapping your arms around the youngest, smothering them in your embrace. "I'm already getting left out," Eris grumbled sheepishly as he looked at you. "Oh, don't start, you big baby," you said, rolling your eyes.

The meeting room was cold, making you wish you were back in bed with Eris and the kids. The hand that ran up and down your thigh did little to nothing to ease your nerves, even if the love Eris sent down the bond felt endless. All of this brought back only sour memories. The last time you all sat around this table, Rhys got taken under the mountain the next day. It's like this particular study and the meetings held here never led to anything good. You tried not to let yourself overthink. To put the voices that fought in your head to sleep, but all the calculations and strategies were making your head spin.

"Our father wanted to get rid of you at any cost," Rhys's voice made you lift your head from your palm, "While Beron was ready to do anything to get you," Eris brought you closer to his chest as you shook your head, "Why?", "He knew of your power. You are... You are every form of darkness that could cast this world with powers so versatile...Not to mention your ability to accumulate power," your brother's rant was cut by Eris slightly lifting his hand, "In other words, you are an irreplaceable weapon", "So all he wants is me?"

A part of you didn't want to know the answer to that, yet both of them nodded their heads. You still weren't sure how you felt about it. Of course, any high lord, even if he had impressive powers, would have loved a toy like you but still... "That's why I chose to separate you and Eris," letting out a sad chuckle you turned to Rhys, but that didn't stop him from talking. "When the deal came about, and I kept on seeing Beron practically eating you up with his eyes... I thought Eris was just a facade", "It doesn't change anything, Rhys. You're not a mother herself, nor are you the cauldron. You don't get to choose others' faith."

You wanted to find a reason that would validate Rhysand's actions. But no matter what. No matter which words he chose, they just didn't make sense. Keep you away from Autumn, sure. But not wipe your memory and take away your mate.

"I think you should sit this one out, sweet", you scowled at Eris in an instant, "No way, if Beron wants me, he'll know I'm not there and run off", "She's right. It's Beron's head that we are after. Why kill innocent fea if we're not getting the job done?", it was Cassian who had jumped to your side. Mother, were you thankful for him. One thing was sure: no matter your relationship with Night Court after all of this, he was always going to be your family. Always have a place in Autumn.

"My spies reported that Beron will be moving towards some of the camps on the south wing tomorrow", Azriel's voice was as lifeless as Rhys's. He hadn't once looked your way, or at least you didn't catch him. You wondered if he felt guilty. Az always appeared mysterious. Reading him was a challenge, but somehow you could always tell what was going on inside his brilliant mind. Now. Now it was just an unbreakable wall of steel. "Great, I know those places like the back of my hand," Eris said, helping you as well. Hand holding yours firmly.

"Helion will be joining us," those words brought you both to a halt. No one else was supposed to know about this, but Rhys always played by his own rules. "He wants your mother to go back to the Day with him." Eris's jaw clenched, and you quickly wrapped your hand around his upper arm. You were ready to see him lash out at Rhys, but he just stood there for a minute before noodling his head. "We leave tomorrow at dawn." With those words, Eris turned away from them all. His steps were firm and calculated, hand holding onto you. But the steps weren't quick. You took notice that he hated to leave you trailing back behind him. Always making sure that your tiny frame could keep up. Equals. Equal in all ways possible.

The night was sleepless. So all you and Eris did was just look at each other. You felt that a part of him was locked away from you. Too many emotions made him want to run away. You knew that he wasn't used to them. So you chose silence as well. Sometimes silence spoke louder than words. In many forms that it had the chance for expression was endless.

Once you left for Autumn you two got separated. Cassian wanted you on his side for Illyrian troupe arrangements. Some of them were assigned to provide safe passage for the healers or anyone who might be running from Beron's regime. That meant that Eris was left with Rhys and Helion. You didn't love that, but for the greater cause, all of you needed to make sacrifices. You returned to the meeting point when the sun was high in the sky. Azriel said you had about two hours before Beron was going to reach the point you needed him to.

"I can feel your nerves from miles away," you said as you wrapped your arms around Eris's shoulders, kissing the side of his head. He sat at the side of the camp that was made mostly to ensure that the wounded would have quick access to a healer.

"I just worry about you," he admitted with a loud sigh. You nudged his legs with your knee as if you were asking him to part them so you could stand between them. He obeyed without hesitation.

"You know I'm capable of handling myself", Cassian had made it loud and clear to Eris that morning that if anyone was capable of leading an army it was you. Adding the ever so cocky comments about how he taught you himself but it seemed to have done nothing to ease your mate's worries. "I don't doubt your strength, I just...", you felt him shiver under your touch, "Hey, look at me", Eris was hesitant at first, but his eyes met yours.

"There is no way around this. We are unstoppable together, remember?", hands gripped your body tighter as he brought you closer to him. Head resting just beneath your heart, "You hear it beating? It's beating for you, love", you heard Eris inhaling sharply before he looked up at you.

"I want it all with you. I want everything that we talked about with Juju and Tab. I want you to have your garden. To be by my side. I want a mating ceremony. I want a family with you," Eris said, as you ran your hands across his cheek gently. "The last two involve wild fucking, I hope," you teased him, making the fireling roll his eyes.

"Kind of expressing my love here, and all you can think about is my cock?", biting your lip you shrugged your shoulders sheepishly. Eris shook his head at you before leaning in to kiss your lips.

"I love you, Eris Vanserra," and now his fingers ran through your hair as he inhaled your scent, smiling ever so slightly, "I love you, even more, my wildflower," capturing his lips in a kiss once again you couldn't help but smile to yore just as Cassian appeared from the corner in a rush. You didn't need any words. The hellfire was about to erupt once more.

For some reason, you thought this was going to be an easy fight. A quick one too. You couldn't have been more wrong. It seemed like Beron was preparing for this as well. Maybe he was preparing to overtake Velaris, hence the number of soldiers he brought because you just couldn't imagine him needing so much power to overtake a camp of healers.

"Rhys!", you shouted, causing your brother to turn your way just in time to block the soldier's bow. Rushing his way, you pierced your sword through the Autumn male with ease.

Rhys jumped to his feet, reaching for you. "How about we drop the weapons and show them what the night scums are made of?", you felt his power starting to build up. The obsidian darkness that ran through him was almost screaming to be let out. You matched your brother's smirk as your hands grew black. It felt almost relieving to let it go. To be able to feel the rush of it.

You were about to turn from Rhys, ready to wipe out the enemies, as he caught your hand. "I know it's not the right time, but forgive me. I'm sorry", the clacking metal, worriers shouting was all that you could hear loud and clear, but your brother's words were firm. "Tell me that off the battlefield, and we'll talk about it." With one last look at his purple eyes, you let yourself winnow into the madness of the fight. Lifting bodies like it was nothing, cutting throats with your shadows. You saw the power that erupted from Rhys, sending chunks of Beron's army into nothingness. Children of the night. Maybe you two also had a future after all. You scanned the battlefield. Az, Cass, Mor, Feyre, Rhys, and your Eris. All were breathless as they fought for Autumn's future. You closed your eyes quickly, just like the day in the burning cabin. Sending a shadow in each of their directions. To protect. To shield. Just in case. All of you needed to leave this field alive. Quickly dogging a hit, you sent yet another body to the ground.

Your eyes once again fell on Eris, who was battling with one of his brothers. You could feel him getting tired. His muscles clearing starting to ache. The battle was way more brutal than you had anticipated. You unleashed another wave of your power by sending his brother to the ground.

Then, all of a sudden, a wash of coldness ran through you. Do it. Do it. You know that you want to. Trust your instincts, girl. For once. Running to the side of the field, you searched for a quiet place before resting your hands on your chest. "Mother of darkness and angels above, release my loved one from the curse of death. Let him rise above. Let him take it all from me. I summon you. Break the chains and set him free", you knew that the ancient lover's twisted vow was too much of a danger to Eris. So, if he had tricks up his sleeve, so did you. You weren't about to risk his life over yours. In your eyes, his life was more worth it. So you chose to break it off fully. The mating bond was more than enough now that you two had found each other.

Then, like a bolt of lightning on a sunny day. Like a first snowflake. The first drop of rain on the hottest day. In a way awaited but always brought an ounce of surprise. At first, you thought that it was impossible. Unreal. It couldn't have happened. You had done it all. Looked through it all. You were winning. The last thing you had to do was find Beron, kill him, and everything would be over. But then again, the pain that ripped through you made it more than real. You heard Eris scream ripping through the battlefield. You didn't even look his way, eyes turning glossy. The pain clawed at you from within, quickly accompanied by a warm, metallic taste in your mouth.

You tilted your head down. The end of the sword was gapping out of your left side. You felt your killer's hand wrapping around your neck as he brought you closer to its chest. Driving the blade through you.

"Found you, cunt", Beron, of course, who else would it be. You were cautious of everyone but him, "I'm going to finish something that your father was too scared to do. Cleanse the land from our worst curse. You who were never meant to be born at all."

You felt his rough fingers running down the side of your face, making you shriek in discomfort. Your fingers formed into fists when they got wet, and you couldn't access even the tiniest bit of your magic. It felt like there was nothing there. "Hate to disappoint you but with the poison, I've smeared on this blade, you're a human at best now. What you soon will be is dead", you felt him leaning closer as he let himself breathe in the scent of your skin, "A shame to kill such powerful things, but if you're not at my mercy you're useless", biting down the urge to cry out you continued to stare forward. trying to ignore his words. Every victorious breath that he took.

You felt him breathing right by the shell of your ear before a splash of warm liquid painted your back. "You fucker", Beron's body slumped behind you, taking you down with him to the ground. Cassian's blade was bloody. To be fearful at this point, who knew whose blood was on it? Just as Rhys winnows to your side, Cass kicked the dead male further away from you.

"Don't touch the blade, Rhys," but the warning came too late, leaving your brother as powerless as you for the time being. Your breath started to get more shallow, and the sun suddenly felt overbearing. "Fuck, Cassian, get Feyre", "Rhys, you're missing the point. Y/N is poisoned and bleeding." One of them slipped their hand to hold yours, but you didn't even bother to look.

"Eris," you muttered under your breath. With Beron dead, he was the new high lord, a tired smile painted your lips. What needed to be done was done. As quickly as your mind found him, he found your body on the ground. Falling to his knees, the new high lord of Autumn couldn't shake the crippling fear that the sight in front of him brought.

"I love you", your words were more lime whispers now, but you gripped onto Eris for dear life. "No, don't say anything. Fight back, sweet," one of his hands pressed against the wound, "I love you so much, and I'm so lucky that I got to remember what we had." The fireling shook his head once more, "It won't be just a memory; we'll go back together soon," but you closed your eyes, not being able to keep them open any longer.

"Come on, Y/N, hold on, we'll find a way," Cassian said, kneeling on your other side as well. His face was covered in tears as he clenched your hand in his. You wanted to answer him. Tell him not to worry, but blood poured out of your mouth as a painful cough escaped your lips.

"I love you," you mumbled one more time, your eyes never leaving your lover as you opened them just for a moment, "I love you more than life itself." Bringing you closer to himself Eris let out a silent cry as if he was still in disbelief. Lips gently pressing to your forehead. Yet the bond between you started to fade. You couldn't tell the difference between death crawling over you and Eris's warmth slipping away. Both felt cold and uncomfortable now.

And then the most painful roar escaped out of the new Autumn High Lord's mouth. Eris screamed for himself. For you. The pain ate at him. Chewing on his flesh. Fires erupted from his fingertips, quickly devouring the entire battlefield. He swayed back and forth with your body still in his arms. Gripping you closer to him. No, he wasn't going to let go. Not going to let go of his wildflower. His strong and fearless mate. Found and lost. No, there was still so much you haven't experienced together. He still wanted to give you so much.

"Come back to me, please, come back," Eris said, her fingers cradling your lifeless face. At times, imagining that he saw your eyes twitching. He felt a hand being placed on his shoulder. Lifting his head, he was met with Rhys's tear-stained face.

"Do something! We have to do...", the fireling stressed out, still holding onto the thread of hope. Pulling at the bond that connected you both for dear life. Yet your body slumped in his arms fully, knocking a breath out of Eris as he felt the warmth between you crumbling to pieces. Gone. No matter what he tried to hold onto, there was nothing there. He didn't manage to save his flower from the cruel world.

"Y/N!", he screamed from the top of his lungs, and the flame rose over the two of you. Leaving Eris to wish he could burn in the fire alongside you.

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@highlady-ofillyria @starrstrucked @lahoete @esposadomd @percyjacksonspeen @powerfulpantera @bionic-donut @azzydaddy @marigold-morelli @meritxellao @mis-lil-red @piceous21 @atz-diary @shamelessdonutkryptonite @baebeepeach @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @brekkershadowsinger @kindaslightlyacidic @mali22 @maddietheshoe @shadowqueen24

#azriel x reader #cassian x reader #rhys x reader #eris vanserra x reader

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starfishlikestoread · 18 days

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@mouseinamushroomhouse you asked me for a Simon Illyan playlist nearly a year ago, and I'm proud to report it is finally done! I hope you and anyone else who listens to it enjoys!! :)

(shoutout to @cookie-nom-nom for suggesting the song Time Machine and @trelldraws for the McCartney and National recs, as well as putting up with me randomly sending various songs and helping figure out which ones fit and didn't. More musings about the process & specifics under the cut!)

With this playlist I really focused on keeping the length down, since I wanted every song to count and ideally keep the whole thing around an hour in length. This resulted in a lot of songs that kind-of-but-not-really fit Simon having to get cut, which was painful but made the fanmix better in the end, and part of the reason why this whole thing took so long, hah. I did however save them all in a separate playlist, so if after listening to the main one y'all want to see what didn't make the cut, feel free to listen here (do know it's not in anything resembling order, though).

With that said, it was a conscious decision to devote 3 whole songs to the chip breakdown, because I feel like while objectively it didn't take up 18% of his life, subjectively in the moment I think it probably felt that way for him.

The first and last songs really serve as bookends to the playlist for me. With the first not even fully a song, rather a spoken word 3rd POV narrative about a robot and last one literally named 'Simon', it felt right thematically about how he sees himself. I'm not sure if we get any explicit musings about the chip from him in that light in canon, but Tej's line about his "super-humanity ... or super-inhumanity" stood out to me in that regard. Especially since it's all but said that he didn't have much of a say in getting it installed in the first place, did he ever feel like the robot people considered him to be? And how did that change?

At the same time, there's so much more to Simon than just his chip, and I hope that shows through the songs I picked as well (if you look at the dates added, you can see I only found 'Until It Kills' yesterday, and that finally completed the playlist for me). I wish I'd found a song that managed to convey him & Miles as a team specifically, but that proved surprisingly difficult as so many songs of that nature seem to be written with a direct parent-child relationship in mind. Still, I'll add it if I ever find it.

ALSO, so damn hard to find songs with spy-related lyrics, I've used so many different search terms and engines and still nearly every result is instrumental music or about a specific incident. I think I have enough in here that it works, and I'm sure those songs exist somewhere, but the internet in all its glory did not choose to reveal them to me (if you know any I'd love to have a listen, I probably won't be adding them to this playlist however as I really just want to be done with this mini-project asdfghjkl).

Edit: aa I forgot to say the one specific thing I wanted to, which is how the line "play dirty" in the song with the same name for me really links back to Galeni's line in Memory: "Damn but Illyan fights dirty when he fights" <3 that's my guy,,

And as said in the description of the playlist, first few songs are very much inspired by the fic Aral Vorkosigan's Dog by Philomytha (since it might as well be canon for me).

And finally, for fun, my top 5 favourite lines that just feel so Simon Illyan to me out of every song in the playlist:

"But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home / Sitting all alone inside your head" - Through Glass by Stone Sour "With the hands of time around my neck" - Hourglass by Motionless In White "Nano-electrodes pulse the thrum / One note to beat my heart, beat my heart, like a drum" - Yes I Know by The Pack a.d. "I testify if I die in my sleep" - Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea by Fall Out Boy "Keep them safe inside your home / If it kills you" - Until It Kills by Midtown

If you've read this far, thank you, and do let me know what you think of the playlist and if there are any songs/lines that stood out to you, I'd love to know <3

#vorkosigan saga #simon illyan #character playlist #my art #fanmix #character songs

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seattlesellie · 11 months

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this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

#𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 anon 🎀

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hanaonesflower · 2 years

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“Leave a message after the tone”

HQ!! x JJK x FREE!

Voice Memos: Where they left things off…

(Kinda angsty but no harsh endings!!)

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

“Hey, uh yeah well I just thought I should call to say goodnight. My head is pounding like the motherfucker but I don’t think I could sleep peacefully if I don’t say something. I’m sorry I stormed out of the house like that and went drinking. I miss you a lot. I’ll come over in the morning, probably with a hangover. But I just want your forgiveness in person, knowing I probably don’t even deserve it. I love you.”

—• Suna Rintaro, Miya Osamu, Geto Suguru, Rei Ryurazaki

“Babe, you’re sleeping now aren’t you? Have a good night sleep, I’m going to crash at a buddy’s house for the night. I know what I did before leaving must have really hurt you and I called to apologize but you didn’t pick up. You don’t deserve to have a drunkard apologizing to you anyway. Can I come over tomorrow? Please?”

—• Nishinoya Yuu, Kageyama Tobio, Megumi Fushiguro, Haruka Nanase

“I– I honestly had this whole thing plastered into my head but now I’m at a loss for words. What I did was wrong… you don’t deserve to be treated like that. I was a coward and took the quick way out. I shouldn’t be saying that you deserve a better man when you only wanted me to the better man. I see and understand my shortcomings, it is funny because you were the one that helped me get there. Yet here I am, so pathetic. I don’t deserve you, but please give me a chance to redeem myself. Call me back? I love you so much.”

—• Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Itadori Yuji, Rin Matsuoka

“Hi, Y/n, I hope everything went well for you today. I hope you crushed at finals like you swore you would. I hope that presentation went well today. Did you get a good grade? I bet you did. But, I meant to call and apologize about last night. It wasn’t fair for you for me being saying those things. I stormed off claiming I wanted space in my room. Im sure you weren’t having a good time either. Being apart from you is torture. Can I please tell you this in person?”

—• Kuroo Tetsuro, Inumaki Toge, Asahi Shiina

“Y/n, it is killing me a little bit that you’re not picking up the phone. I hope you’re doing okay. I hope that at this very moment you are safe. You may or may not listen to this voice mail, but I’m going to say what I will say later; treat this as a rehearsal. Y/n, I’m a coward, I saw the look on your face when I lashed out at you and god, I think I was in pain, too. I say things without thinking and I had the luxury of not suffering through the consequences, regardless of how I usually don’t say much, but that was before you. I put more thought into my words, more intentions and I always try to be kind and respectful because of you now, but unfortunately, sometimes I let myself slip back into my old, bad habits. I’m trying my best to change, completely, for the better. I’m lucky and grateful that you are patient with me, although I’m already getting so much more from you than I actually deserve. If you’re listening to this, you get the gist of what I want to say, please be safe until I get to you later today. I love you, baby, more than you know.”

—• Ushijima Wakatoshi, Nanami Kento, Sosuke Yamazaki, Makoto Tachibana

“You can’t stay mad at me forever… actually yeah you can. Listen, babe. I’m so sorry for the way I acted. I was foolish and inconsiderate of your feelings and now I’m beating myself up for it. So please don’t call your brothers, they might actually kill me. But hey, I want to see you and look you in the eye and give you a genuine apology. It’s the least I can do for you in this moment before I start making the drastic and necessary changes in myself. I hope you can give me that chance. I have to go now, the boss is screeching in the background, it’s probably good that you can’t hear them, their voice is like a banshee. Don’t make dinner, I’ll bring you some gooood sushi baby. See you later, I love you, darling.”

—• Bokuto Koutaro, Akinori Konoha, Gojo Satoru, Kisumi Shigino

#💌hanaonesflowerworks #haikyu imagines #haikyu headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyu x you #jjk imagines #jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #jjk x you #free! imagines #free! headcanons #free! x you #free! x reader #fluff fluff n more fluff #if these boys were to send me a voicemail like that I will sOB #luv them sm 💞🥰✨#haikyu angst #jjk angst #free! angst

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talyns-fanfics · 1 year

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Anywhere

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

Vanitas x Princess of Heart!reader

Based on the song “Anywhere” by Evanescence.

This is where I’d normally put the link, but it doesn’t exist on SoundCloud or Spotify. I’m still upset.

Just search it up on YouTube if you wanna listen to it. It’s a beautiful song.

Part II is here.

Dear My Love, haven’t you wanted to be with me? And Dear My Love, haven’t you longed to be free? I can’t keep pretending that I don’t even know you and at sweet night, you are my own…

Vanitas figured out Ventus’ trick to reviving.

Vanitas was just ripped out of Ventus. He hears a soft voice in his head. “Where am I?” He closes his eyes, feeling himself slowly fall. “Who are you?” He asks the voice as his feet hit the ground very carefully, opening his eyes. He sees a bright light in the distance. “I’m a pure heart. I felt pure darkness and followed it here.”

Vanitas rests a hand over his own heart. “That’s me. I’m the dark.” He looks down at the platform. It would have been a full circle, but more than half of it was missing. “My heart is in shatters, and the little I have left is in constant pain.” He explains to the voice.

“Then I’ll give my light, so you have something to hold onto.” The voice replies as light replaces the gaps in the dark heart. “You can also use it as a fail safe, for the worst.” Vanitas slightly smiles under the mask. “Thank you, Light.”

“You’re welcome, Dark.” The voice replies…

————————————————————————

“Our union wasn’t finished.” Vanitas floats down to Ventus, holding the broken X-Blade. “The X-Blade shouldn’t stay broken like this. Join me and we can complete it.” He points the blade at Ventus, who softly shook his head. “I have a better idea, how about I destroy you both?” Ventus summons his own Keyblade.

Vanitas laughs at Ventus. “The X-Blade is made of your heart, too, idiot. Destroy it, and your heart will vanish forever.” Ventus gets in a battle stance. “Your heart, too.” Vanitas laughs again. “Unlike you, I have a backup. A heart, pure of light, has allowed me refuge.” Vanitas explains. “Either we complete the X-Blade, or she houses darkness in her heart. Choose wisely, Ventus.”

“I don’t care. Anything to save Terra and Aqua.” Ventus responds, making Vanitas groan. “It’s always about your friends, isn't it?” He also got in a battle stance. “At least I have some. I've become a part of their heart, just as they've become a part of mine. My friends are my power...and I'm theirs!”

————————————————————————

During the battle, the station shatters, making the X-Blade slip out of Vanitas’ hand. He tries to grab it, but he can’t. He passes out, disappearing in a blinding light.

————————————————————————

Forget this life, come with me, don't look back you're safe now. Unlock your heart, drop your guard. No one's left to stop you now…

Vanitas opens his eyes, landing on another station. He looks over, seeing a little girl, her back facing him. She was dressed in a light red ball gown and a black tiara adorned her head. “This place... I've been here. So warm...” Vanitas says aloud, walking towards the girl. She turns around, facing him. Her (color) hair swaying to the side. Her eyes were bright (eye color), full of light and hope.

“I remember now. This is your heart.” Vanitas was right next to the girl, who reaches a hand to him. He kneels down to her level, gently taking her hand. She smiles softly at him. “Time for you to sleep, now.” They hearts had now completely joined, allowing Vanitas to heal.

We're leaving here tonight. There's no need to tell anyone, they'd only hold us down. So by the morning's light, we'll be half way to anywhere where love is more than just your name…

#talyns fanfics #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts x reader #vanitas kingdom hearts #vanitas #vanitas x reader #princess of heart #x reader #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #birth by sleep #anywhere kh fanfic

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angelicallyher · 5 months

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୭ৎ 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 .ᐟ

everything my heart ever wished for…

𝓓𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 ⌗ 𝐎𝟏 — lets talk about my desires ever since i found out about loa ! in order to begin my journey, it is important to have clear goals so that i know what im working towards. this way i can return to them whenever i feel stuck or demotivated. im keeping myself accountable by writing my goals down, so here’s my list of desires ! ♡

౨ৎ┊𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

⤷ im living the life i always dreamed of. my life is beautiful, exciting, eventful, enjoyable, dramatic, euphoric, magical, well organized & perfect. every aspect of my life matches my dream life perfectly. life is worth living. i live in perfect world (no pollution, racism, etc). everything about my life is exciting. theres never a day thats boring or dull. everyday is a new adventure i cant wait for. every day something interesting happens in my life. im excited to sleep & wake up to another wonderful day, i wake up refreshed & energetic. events that unfold in my life seem like something that only happens in movies. i experience amazing moments & make lasting memories. i experience desired scenarios. every desired scenario i wish to happen unfolds. i live life to the fullest. life is so easy, everything works out in my favour & falls into place. choices i make always lead to the best outcome there is. my desired beautiful environment is romanticized. im invited to the best events. theres many events that i have the pleasure to attending like official events along with events that are just parties, hangouts & more. i have a perfect social, school, family, career, financial & personal life. i have a perfect balance between them all. always motivated & productive, i spend every day well. im in touch with ppl i care for. i never have arguments or be on bad terms with anyone. i meet new loving ppl & make genuine connections. im admired, loved, respected. everything works out perfectly in my favour. im forever healthy. no harm/pain of any kind can come my way or to loved ones. im safe & protected. my life is free of negativity.

౨ৎ┊𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

⤷ i want to manifest a completely new appearance ideally, from head to toe ! from a beautifully dainty hourglass body to big & upturned glittery doll eyes. that includes my face, body, skin, hair & beauty.

౨ৎ┊𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

⤷ i want a happy, euphoric family life. my ideal biological family would be perfect, supportive, easygoing & free of any problem or negativity. id have the best relationship with my family, my relatives are loving, caring, accepting & understanding. we are close, we never have arguments nor be in bad terms with one another. my family is physically & mentally healthy. i have good bonding times with family. my family endlessly supports me. my ideal parents are lenient & let me do whatever it is i want. i have a safe, healthy, protected, happy family.

౨ৎ┊𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

⤷ i have the most wonderful friends. i have a perfect, kind, loving, cool, fun, loyal & gorgeous friend group! i meet my desired friend group how i want. my friends look how i desire, they have desired name, personality, etc. i have a healthy relationship with my friends. i have genuine friends. we have similar interests but we’re our own person, making our friend group unique & intriguing. everyone in my friend group has different characteristics from each other & we emit auras that arent similar to one another. my friends are supportive & dependable, theyre always there for me & on my side. everyone in my friend group is stylish & has their own style. we have the same humour. we have inside jokes & nicknames for us & other ppl. it’s fun & laughs when we’re together. we always go on fun adventures & hang out together! we can do fun things at any time. i have a wealthy circle of friends who have a major “it” factor that make us out stand everyone else, we are iconic. friends want the best for me & each other. i am surrounded with positive influences. my friend group is free from drama or tension, never argue or fight over dumb reasons. no one gets left behind or excluded, everyone in my group sticks up for each other. im immune to fake & toxic ppl. we stay friends forever & make unforgettable memories.

౨ৎ┊𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞

⤷ to live in the house of my dreams! i want my desired house down to the floorboards, every single detail is how i want it to be. its grand, spacious, beautiful with the prettiest view ever. its in my ideal location. my house has all my desired rooms & i live with my desired ppl. its always clean & organized. my home feels safe, radiant & positive.

౨ৎ┊𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

⤷ i want to have a romanticized movie-like school life. my high school experience feels like a fun tv show or movie. my school life is absolutely amazing & memorable. love going to school, everyday is filled with lasting memories. school is stress free & enjoyable. i attend my ideal school & ideal classes. my school always has fun events, everyone participates in the activities & have fun. i am a heartthrob. i am loved, admired, respected by all of my teachers & peers. i maintain a perfect reputation, get along well with everyone. im always the centre of positive attention. im known all over the school as the top student. im the it girl of my school, the prettiest, smartest, wealthiest, most popular girl in school. i easily run my entire school without even trying. im always influencing others in a positive way, always a leader everywhere i go. every grade in my school knows me & idolizes me. everyone in my classes gets along with each other. everyone at my school rarely use their phones; everyone talks to each other & find something instead. everyone in school interacts with each other & is sociable. my class goes on lots of grand & spontaneous senior trips. i join my desired of clubs at school. active in my school. im close with all of the teachers. im the queen b of my school, i achieve the highest score/grade in all classes with no effort. grades revised. im an academic overachiever. excel in academics & extra curricular activities. naturally a 4.0 gpa student, i have high intelligence, i love learning and growing. photographic memory, every school work is too easy. i understand every subject with ease & learn quickly. i know the right answer to any question. immune to cramming, burnout, procrastination.

౨ৎ┊𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡

⤷ to live a luxurious nepo baby lifestyle, i have an extremely rich, wealthy, successful & humble family who are forever financially secure. i have huge generational wealth. i effortlessly have over a million dollars in my bank account. im in full control of my money. i can afford anything & everything i want freely. i have unlimited amount of money. age doesnt matter, im always making money like a grownup. i have a good relationship with money. no matter how much i spend ill always have more than enough money, i could never run out. im a money magnet, money flows through me & my family easily & consistently. my family has a good reputation & highly respected. me & my family are so rich we have black platinum cards. have my own culinary chef & maids. tons of opportunities that lead to financial success & luxurious experiences.

and the rest of my desires in my manifestation list !

xoxo, angelia ৎ୭

#𝒶ngelicallyher 🎀#law of assumption #loassumption #manifestation #manifesting #loa tumblr #dream life #master manifestor #ෆ 𝒷looming

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ihatesinners · 1 year

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𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 // 𝐒𝐀𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍

You were sitting outside the cabin late at night.

It was past 11:30 when you first walked through the back door and seated yourself on the porch, swinging your legs.

You couldn’t sleep at all the past week.

Everything had seemed to move in a blur, the days mixing together more than they should’ve.

You felt like time was going too fast.

Every single day seemed to be the same, nothing new seemed to change and it was killing you.

You just wanted to rest, for once.

Taking a deep breath, you looked up at the star-filled sky, watching as the moonlight filtered over the vast view of the green trees.

Nature seemed to be the only thing keeping you alive, at the moment.

That and the endless support from Saeran.

His love seemed to keep you above water, when you were drowning he was there to help you swim.

He kept you from going towards the darkness.

He was the light you never knew you needed, his soul so pure that it could touch anything and fix it completely.

He was what made your heart so full.

You wanted to keep it that way for eternity, but you knew you couldn’t always have it.

Sometimes the darkness became too much.

You didn’t want to be the weight that kept you both down, that kept you both from floating above the water.

You wanted him to be set free, that was all he needed out of life.

To be untied and set free from the chains of reality.

“My angel?” His voice had sent shivers down your spine, his touch lighting up your stomach with fireworks.

It was only him who could make you feel this way.

“What are you doing out here alone? Aren’t you cold?” He had draped his jacket over your shoulders.

You hadn’t noticed you were shaking.

You didn’t think it’d be this cold out, but you figured it was also your anxiety making you feel like this.

The knots in your stomach, or even the pounding of your head.

It always got this way.

“I wish I was enough sometimes.” You hadn’t meant to speak your words into existence, but he had heard them all the same.

“What do you mean? Of course you’re enough, you’ve always been enough, my love.”

He had set his hand over yours.

His touch was warm, a different feeling than what you were used to.

His presence always made you calm.

“No. Sometimes I am not, sometimes…I just want to not exist. To just float in an endless abyss and never have to feel like this.

“Unworthy, selfish. I’m selfish sometimes, I just want you all to myself. But you're too pure for me. Too pure for my mind.” You shake your head.

He knew you always doubted yourself, from the very first moment he met you.

He knew you never truly believed you were okay.

“If anything, you’re too pure for me. Your love…makes my soul feel safe. Your touch is like heaven upon my tainted hands.

“You accepted me for who I was, my past and my family. You made me see the world from a different point of view.

“I could never truly thank you for helping me breathe, for helping me over the waters of life. You kept me afloat when I wanted to drown.”

You looked at him, watching his eyes glaze over with unshed tears.

Tears of sadness and pain.

He wished you could see yourself the way that he saw you, a fallen angel sent from above to protect him.

To cherish him, even when he’s done wrong.

To protect him from his own darkness, even if you carry your own burdens.

He wished to carry the weight on your shoulders.

To help you see above your own waters of darkness, to help you look towards the surface rather than in the pits below.

“My angel, my goddess. You are my fate, the one person I am destined to be with forever. Whenever I look at you, I see my future.

“I see the light that I’ve always had trouble picturing. Even if you do not see it yourself, I will be here.

“I will help you see your worth, even if I have to keep reminding you until the end of time. Even if you push me away, I will be here.

“Because you have changed me for the better. You have made me see how special and precious this life is.

“I only want and need you, my love. When I am without you, I am alone. You are my soulmate, my other half.

“Together we help each other learn and grow, together we are one. And I will help you see that.”

All you could do was stare.

He was the light you needed in this world, the anchor that kept you grounded, the angel that protected over you.

His touch made you shiver, his words made your heart ache.

He truly was a blessing in disguise.

He would love you for all of your ugly, he would love you until the end of time.

In whatever universe you stumbled in.

In the end it would always be you both, no matter what came between you guys.

And maybe that was okay.

Maybe you could finally break free from the chains that surrounded you, the darkness that circled your heart.

Maybe you could finally be happy.

Even if it took a thousand years, you would be okay with that.

As long as Saeran was by your side.

#saeranmysticmessenger #saeran x mc #saeran choi #mm saeran #mystic messenger #mystic messeger headcanon

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purplesong1028 · 1 year

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When Love Gets Poisonous

Chapter 1: Easy Decision

What if Amado came up with a creative solution when North Valley demanded to kill Pacho in Season 3?

!Kidnapping !DubCon (later chapters)

Rating: General Audience

Paring: Amado/Pacho

Words: 2,478

Amado paces around the huge bedroom with probably the tenth cigarette for today. He hasn’t been so stressed since…since forever.

He looks at the king size bed covered in silk duvet, where Pacho’s sleeping peacefully, motionlessly, but he should be waking up in the next few minutes or so. The drug will wear off soon, according to the doctor.

It looks like paradise outside: blue ocean, white sand, palm trees, sunshine everyday… Amado built this place along with his house in Juárez. It’s supposed to be his own ideal hideout, a last resort if he has no other options. There’s no one other than his men in this house, on this entire island. Nobody can find them — this is literally the middle of nowhere. Amado never thought he would even let anyone else know about this location, let alone keeping someone here.

He didn’t do this to hurt Pacho; he will never hurt Pacho. Amado tries to convince himself. He even wrapped Pacho’s right wrist in soft cloth before handcuffing it to the bed, so the cold metal won’t cut into his skin. He’s trying to help him, to save him. He just didn’t have time to come up with a better plan. Pacho will understand eventually, right?

No. No, that’s just a lie he tells himself. There’s nothing noble about what he’s done. This isn’t about saving Pacho; it’s about having Pacho, which he has wanted for so long but never dreamt of actually happening. So he saw an opportunity and took it, no different than taking a new territory or more products. This is just a much better prize.

“Amado…?”

“Yeah! Yeah I’m here.” He rushes to the bedside, taking Pacho’s hand into his own. “It’s ok, you’re going to be fine.”

“What…” Pacho blinks up at him, “Where are we?”

“Somewhere safe.” Amado slides an arm behind his back to help him sit up, holding a glass of water to his lips. “Here, drink this.”

Pacho takes a few sips and leans back against a pillow, clearly still under some after effects of the drugs in his system. His pupils are struggling to focus, his hand barely having any strength against Amado’s palm.

Amado holds him closer, silently counting down the few blissful minutes he has until Pacho completely wakes up. He puts down the glass and holds Pacho’s hand again, this time tentatively lacing their fingers together, which is immediately returned with the same gesture, completely natural and unsuspecting. A rush of warmth burns from their interlocked fingers, running up along his palm, arm, filling his chest with a painful fullness, and finally reaching behind his eyes. He senses Pacho’s weight shifting off his shoulder, sees the way his head snaps to look at his shackled right hand.

Before Pacho jerks his left hand free from him, Amado brings it to his lips, and presses a kiss on the knuckles, knowing this is the first and last time he’ll ever get to do it.

Pacho touches his handcuff, then yanks on it, not very forcefully, almost like he’s making sure if it’s really there. Then he stops moving entirely, like the realization freezes him. Only his shoulders are shaking slightly with rapid yet controlled breathing.

“Is it North Valley?”

Pacho turns around, and Amado expects to see rage, betrayal or even hatred from Pacho’s brown eyes, but right now they are only filled with shock, confusion and something else. Something like…disappointment.

“What did they offer you for this?”

“What? No that’s not…” Amado feels like he just got stabbed in the stomach, and has to take a deep breath to ease the pain. Did Pacho really think he would ever… “It was North Valley, but I’m not fucking giving you to them! I’m saving you from them.”

Pacho straight up laughs at that, and Amado recognizes that scoff from distant memories, when Félix was still around and Pacho would call out his lies with complete certainty and coldness.

“Look Pacho, I…” He stands up, feeling that he might get punched in the face if he doesn’t get out of Pacho’s reach. “I’m not lying, ok? I’m sorry I didn’t come up with a better plan, but I was just trying to keep you alive.”

“And this…” Pacho lifts his restrained arm. “This is how you keep someone alive?”

“I just didn’t want you to strangle me the second you wake up!”

“Yeah? Fucking good call!”

“Alright, let’s just…” Amado puts his hands up, and sits down on an armchair far enough from the bed. “Here’s what happened: you told me Cali was getting out, so I talked to Henao to set up my future supply. He agreed, but with one non-negotiable condition.”

“And you told him yes?”

Amado runs a hand down his face, and then looks up, staring Pacho in the eye while telling him the truth— It’s probably the most difficult thing he’s ever done, but Pacho at least deserves this much respect.

“I told him I would do it myself, and as far as everyone knows, it’s done.”

For a few seconds, there’s absolutely nothing on Pacho’s face, no reaction whatsoever. It’s like time has stopped, and Amado’s forever frozen in the torturous state right before the judge drops his hammer.

“Get out.”

“Pacho…” He’s cut off by something flying straight to his head, and barely manages to dodge the shattering pieces of glass as it hits the wall.

“Patrón? Is everything ok?” Someone rushes over banging on the door almost immediately.

“Yeah we’re good!” Amado waits until he hears fading footsteps to speak again, but when he opens his mouth, no word is coming out of his lips.

“You know what, Amado?” Pacho ends up breaking the silence, his entire body tensed with anger. But it’s not a fuming rampage, more like a cooled down, contained rage, with a certain finality to it.

“I would have had a little respect left for you, if you actually had the guts to kill me.”

He knows. He has accepted the consequences when he made this decision, and whenever he had a tiny sense of doubt, he reminded himself that the alternative would be way worse. But God…none of that helps when he hears these words coming straight from Pacho’s lips, the same pair of lips that used to laugh and joke with him, the lips that he kissed once.

“Well, better your life than your respect.” Amado swallows the lump in his throat. Pacho doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look at him, so he takes the chance to walk into the bathroom and splash some cold water on his face. Then he looks into the mirror: his skin looks paler than usual, his hair is a mess and there are dark circles under his eyes. It’s not surprising, since he didn’t sleep at all last night, but this extreme exhaustion is more than that. It can’t be fixed by some good rest, delicious food, or relaxing massage. It won’t be fixed by anything.

It won’t get better again.

He grabs a towel and walks back out, crouching down next to the mess, and starts gathering all the shattered glass pieces with the towel. He doesn’t need to do that himself, but he tries to find excuses, like it’s not a good idea to have someone coming in right now when Pacho’s still tied to the bed, or he should do something personally just to show his remorse and guilt.

“How did you do it?”

“What?” The sudden sound startles him, and he nearly cuts his fingertip. “How did I…get you here?”

From this angle, with Pacho looking down at him, it feels like their roles are reversed, and he’s the prisoner being interrogated.

“How did you kill me?”

“Oh.” It feels strange actually hearing that, almost a bit funny if he were in a better mood. “Car bomb, they won’t recognize the body.”

Pacho scoffs, “So that’s where my necklace and ring went.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that. Maybe those pieces of jewelry had some emotional value, since Pacho wore them all the time, but that’s exactly why they need to be on the body.

“I had to make it look convincing.”

With that, they fall into silence again. The air is so dead that even the sound of glass pieces clashing together feels like screams in his ears. He hurries to wrap up all the big pieces he got, and shoves them into the trash can.

Then he walks to the cabinet, looking for a container that’s not made of glass or ceramic, basically anything that’s not easily breakable, but frustratingly, expensive stuff is fragile as hell. He should have gotten a bag of those plastic cups from a convenience store. Eventually he found some Asian tea set that’s made of wood. He fills up the largest cup and brings it to the bedside.

“You need to drink some water. It’s good for you after…” He has to pause a little just to say it out loud, “after the drug.” The drug that I gave you.

Pacho glances at the water, clearly wants it, but still he doesn’t move.

“You didn’t think this through, did you?”

Amado sighs and puts the cup down. “Trust me, I have never put more thoughts into anything else.”

“Then stop this bullshit!” Pacho suddenly sits up straight and reaches up to grab him, but is held back by the handcuff. Amado sees Pacho wince a little as his wrist gets pulled back forcefully by the hard metal, but he swallows it down, biting out every word. “Get to the point. What do you want?”

“Alright, just stop! Please?” He takes a step away from the bed, trying to reason, but deep down, he knows it would be futile. “You’re only hurting yourself.”

“What do I need to do to get out of these, hmm?” Pacho gives him a cold smirk, his tone softened, but his eyes are filled with condescension. “Or do you just enjoy chaining me to your bed?”

Amado feels his blood turn cold, his heart skipping a beat with a sharp pain like he just got shot in the chest, and his naked body is dragged out for public display. He doesn’t know how his face betrayed him, but whatever emotions he’s showing, Pacho is clearly enjoying them with a twisted sense of satisfaction.

He avoids the other man’s piercing gaze, and quietly walks to the large wooden dresser across from the bed.

“I don’t enjoy chaining you to a bed, Pacho, not at all.” He pulls the top drawer open, agonizingly slow, not to intentionally create suspense, but he isn’t ready to face what’s inside himself.

“Fuck, I’ll hate myself if I had to do it.” As if he doesn’t already.

The drawer’s completely open, and inside lays a metal chain with perfect length, long enough to cover the entire bedroom, but several inches short to reach the door.

Amado grabs it and turns around, facing Pacho again from a distance. His hands are shaking. He hears the strain in his own voice as he opens his mouth.

“So please, don’t make me.”

Those few words somehow have knocked the air out of his lungs, draining all the energy that he has to lean back on the dresser to support himself, just to stand straight.

Pacho’s eyes grow wide in true shock, and once that’s passed, Amado finally sees everything he anticipated when Pacho first opened his eyes: rage, hurt and unmasked hatred. Yet the worst among them all is a sense of strangeness, like he’s standing right here but Pacho doesn’t even recognize him.

Like the years they’ve known each other have simply vanished.

He wants to look away immediately, to look at anything but that, but he can’t, not now. He absolutely can’t be the first person to back down, otherwise Pacho would never take this situation seriously.

“Look, every single person on this island works for me, alright? There’s no way out.” It’s true. Everyone here is loyal and capable. He made sure of that. “Don’t try anything stupid, and I will give you the key right now. You can do whatever you want, the island is yours.”

“But if you can’t do that…” He takes a deep breath, and holds the long, heavy chain closer to Pacho’s direction, so he doesn’t have to say it out loud. “It’s not a difficult decision to make, Pacho.”

The room falls into a state of complete stillness, and it is so unbearably long, that Amado actually starts to panic. What if Pacho doesn’t give in? Is he really going to…to chain him up like an animal? God, is he even able to actually do that? No, the mere thought makes him want to throw up, but what if he has to? What if Pacho sees him through and calls his bluff? What the fuck is he going to do?!

He doesn’t know how long it’s been, maybe ten minutes, or maybe just one, but he is on the verge of breaking when something finally changes in Pacho’s face. There’s still no words, barely a reaction, but the other man just looks away, breaking their eye contact first.

It doesn’t feel like a victory. There is some relief, but mostly just pain.

“It’s settled then.” He tries to remain a flat tone, and hurries to fish the key out of his pocket. If he stays in this room for one more second, he will lose it.

“Here, I’ll come back later and show you around the place.”

He tosses the key on the bed and walks out, quickly closing the door behind him, and then almost comes face to face with a guard.

Was this guy standing right outside?!

“Patrón!” The guard takes a few steps back, seemingly startled by him as well. “I’m sorry Patrón, I didn’t…”

Amado just waves him off and hands him the long chain. ��Put it away somewhere else.”

The guard takes the chain off his hands and gives him a slightly confused look, maybe silently disagreeing with his decision. But eventually the guy just takes his order.

“Is there anything else that you need, Patrón?”

“When he’s in there, make sure there are two people outside of this bedroom at all times, but not right outside.” He emphasizes on that, making sure the guard understands. “And go tell them to prepare lunch.”

The guard nods and walks away. Amado also walks away from the bedroom to one of the adjacent living rooms. Honestly, this is his first day in this mansion as well, and he has no idea where everything is, but that’s the least of his worries now.

He slumps down on the couch, but doesn’t feel relaxed. He won’t be relaxed for a very long time.

@ashlingiswriting @yourlocalspacewitxch @mandaloria314 @narcolini @dashavau @cherixrosa @cheesybadgers @cositapreciosa @criatividad-e @sikkui @alreadywritten @artemiseamoon @anunhealthydoseofangst @drabbles-mc

#narcos #narcos mexico #pacho herrera #amado carrillo fuentes #narcos fic #narcos mexico fic #amado x pacho

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ulircursed · 1 year

Text

for forever

Patrol your companions’ quarters [Max 4 muses per thread] - Restore 1HP to houses per post - Can now talk to Mairenn during this task

Even looking still as death, Edain’s hands are still warm when he grasps them.

That unchanging fact keeps Andrei’s anxiety at bay as the weeks bleed into one another without a single sign that their allies are close to waking up, while the outside world around them is met with one trouble after another. At the very least, inexplicable injuries notwithstanding, all of their allies are still breathing, though that is small comfort given the circumstances. Despite making a conscious effort to spread his patrolling among the four houses in somewhat equal measure, he cannot help but return to this house, this room, more often than any other.

(He’d promised to try and keep her safe.)

And it is here that he stands again, after yet another night of exhausting battle, after the chief had seen them making their usual patrols to check on their companions (they weren’t wounded by outside forces last time; what could they possibly do against a power beyond their reach?) and made a cryptic offer, one that loops endlessly in his mind, even now.

Be with them forever, peacefully and happily, in a world free of pain...

...Why wouldn’t he want that? A world without all this pain and bloodshed. A world with Lady Sister, and Father and Edain, and whomever else each of them would choose to complete their family, without a single one lost. A world where conspiracy and the greed for power never touched any part of Grannvale.

A world where he’d never had the choice to tear his family apart.

“You’d want it too, wouldn’t you, Sister?” Andrei asks the sleeping figure before him, doing nothing to hide his desperate, anguished expression in a room without waking, judging eyes. His hand trembles in hers. “Even if it’s only a dream... If it’s one where nothing had gone wrong... Wouldn’t we all be happier for it?”

He isn’t sure how long he stands there in silence, as though awaiting, begging for an answer, before he startles at the sound of the door behind him being pushed open. Hastily withdrawing his hand, Andrei turns, blinking at the familiar face that appears through the entrance.

“Ah... Lady Caeda,” he greets, not quite meeting her gaze, for fear his thoughts might be laid entirely bare to anyone who sees him, “You— you are here on patrol as well, I take it?”

@arcaeda

#➵ caeda 03 #arcaeda #KEguard2023 #it's something i've kind of been doing semi-consciously over the entire course of our interactions #but i feel like while andrei puts on formal airs with most people and talks in a somewhat affected grammar as a result #it's with edain that he speaks the most casually grammar-wise #esp. when he's not trying to put psychological distance between them #(which to be fair he does a lot)

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lanternlightss · 11 months

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hi hi! for the bingo ask game:

nameless bard, venti, percy, and/or annabeth

(ask game)

OOOOOO the sillies….. let’s see…..

under the cut, as the rambles got a tad bit long XD

nameless bard -

….honestly not even half surprised there’s a bingo, this guy has lived in my head completely rent free for two years XD.

BUT. onto a bit of character dissection: truly and fully believe there is blood on his hands. sometimes he lays awake, feeling guilty, over whether or not a death was warranted or needed. sometimes he wonders how he could’ve made it more painful. it’s about the Duality. someone who would willingly raze down an entire city, but is also currently in the process of dancing with his little wisp friend.

however, on the other hand, he is just. he feels like a cringefail guy. the type of dude who would hit himself in the face trying to spin his weapon in a cool way. he would be the biggest dork <3. (also if you removed his cloak and unbraided him, he would look like a wet cat.) (so would venti—)

i just!!! think he would be going through it almost 24/7… not to bring up the old mond—cecilia connection/metaphor once more, but, if you put him in today’s mondstadt, he would struggle so much!!! constantly alert and looking for exits or the quickest way to take someone down, always on the watch for potential foes or friends, losing sleep over countless what-ifs and “is this real?”

(also adore anger being a big part of him. he is ultimately caring and kind, but there is so much rage towards decarabian, towards their situation……. also gently pushing the bard is a strategist agenda and he would have weekly meetings with timmy agenda. he rambles to venti about every species of bird there is. he has drawings.)

just a guy trying to see the birds fly ……

(the “he would’ve been a better character if handled differently”—so much of mondstadt is centered around him and old mond, yet there is!!! Almost Nothing!!!! On His Character!!!!!

honestly would’ve filled in the fanon is better slot but bard has so little canon. he has so much potential and i am and will forever be shaking the bars of my enclosure over that.

though him not having a name feels very fitting for a mondstadt character, especially one like him, being connected to venti and mondstadt’s history. it’s very <3 that people can chose names for him, based on different things.

on the other. please canon name….

also he and venti are autistic-adhd solidarity—)

percy -

percy….. percy beloved <3

genuinely still getting used to his character, but he is just. he is truly one of the guys ever.

his unwavering loyalty? (to the point that it becomes his fatal flaw?) his unrelenting care and love for the people around him? his anger? his decision to be kind? everything about him???

i am holding him in my palms and gently cradling.

(his desire to keep everyone safe and unharmed is also (mwah) So Much potential there. he wants to keep holding up the sky for everyone. he is so willing to be a shield and i am SHAKING my fists at son of neptune and the river.)

honestly though this guy needs a nap and some therapy, gods above! he has been put through so much (especially after house of hades, all three of them should have a sit down and talk, because holy shit.) he is so tired. he is trying to make it through highschool and graduate. he is trying so desperately to be a Good Kid and everything keeps trying to convince him Not To Be.

genuinely percy should be given the option to go off the shits. he should have a rematch with ares. he should be able to fight hera. hell, he should be able to call zeus a dick to his face, because seriously????? (i am also gesturing wildly to all the times percy got a little bit of bloodlust during fights. he can be unhinged, as a treat.) if percy killed a god i would cheer so loudly and celebrate for weeks because He Deserves It at this point (however he probably won’t because that would harm his loved ones in the process but he very likely has thought of it before.) (beat their asses, young perseus.)

also percy is just. a little head empty sometimes. he is very smart!!! and he also immediately went “Man Those. Cabin. Looks Nice.” when annabeth hugged him XD. honestly adore a big part of his narrations (especially the “i want food :(“ ones. he just wants to live a relatively normal life shsbdndn. rick let him bake with his mom!!!)

(the if he was handled differently is entirely biased and i am shaking HoO specifically by the shoulders. there are so many He Would Not Fucking Say That moments. i just. am Not The Biggest fan of how he was written in HoO, it feels like rick forgot a few parts of his character.

pjo is an absolute <3. seeing percy getting progressively fed up with everything and his struggles, how he refuses to harm any of the opposing demigods….. though if people would tell him things that would be !! lovely. please stop shoving him into the deep end—

again, would’ve filled in the like fanon better slot, but there are many fics + posts calling him stupid or horrifically mischaracterizing him to look like an absolute asshole (he runs his mouth and insults people but good gods he is not?? going to be Like That??) though fanon does a very good job at developing percy’s relationships, i owe all the fics about percy and sally everything.)

#UH #SO A BIT OF RAMBLING…..#thank you though :]#this was fun!!#lantern replies #mutuals !#APOLOGIES I ONLY DID TWO #i legitimately do not have enough thoughts on annabeth #and ven……….. need to go back and reread the source material XD #memory is a little wonky

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