#it is an online interview but i still think it’s a little wild to expect me to move my stuff around that fast. you don’t know if that’s
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You know, i’ve been your baby since the day that we met. (CEO!H)
Words: 8k
Warnings: Pathetic Fluff, Smut (Praise, P in V, Oral, slight daddy kink)
Summary: Harry is bewitched by her, and he would do absolutely anything to make her happy, even though she sometimes doesn’t want him to.
READ THE FIRST CEO ONE SHOT HERE!
A/N: Hellooo my loves! It's been a little while, but now i'm here with a lil CEO update since you all seemed to enjoy him last time. Please let me know what you think of it, it always makes my day to hear from you!
elle x
It was almost like Harry couldn’t remember a life before her. She had filled the bottomless hole in his heart with her warmth, humour, cleverness and love like it was the most simple thing in the world. Harry had never been so happy.
It’s been just 5 months since that night in Harry’s lounge, where his clammy hands were shaking, searching for hers. Where he bared his heart before her, and hoped, hoped that she’d at least tell him she didn’t hate him. Y/N could never hate Harry. Sometimes, when she comes to think about it, she feels absolutely crazy when it comes to him. Like she can’t believe that he is hers. Like maybe she was made just for him. Like maybe they were meant to meet when she started working for Pleasing.
Harry had kept telling her how hard he fell, that he felt like he was jumping from a plane without a parachute, blindly falling and hoping to be caught in his lover’s arms. Harry fell hard, but Y/N fell first.
Y/N’s interview had went better than she ever could’ve expected. It was just the day before that she was asked to Pleasing’s office to do an interview for a position as a senior creative. She left the interview happy and pleased with herself, but honestly?
She couldn’t tell if it was because she had actually done well for the interview, or if it was the Harry-shaped opening in her heart that was slowly cracking her open. The tall brunette had been so kind to her throughout the interview, even offering her a coffee beforehand.
As her first day a Pleasing came and went, Y/N tried to gather up her things from her new office to head home. It had been a wild day, introductions to new people, online courses to help her with their IT systems and endless and absolutely endless pining for her new boss. She could swear that she had never met anyone like him, and especially not a CEO who acted like he did with his colleagues. Harry had this softness to him, almost feminine at times, but with a strong masculine cologne, broad shoulders and deep, gravely voice. He emitted a light and kindness that was difficult to describe if you hadn’t met him. He was like a magnet.
Y/N was sure that if you were to google the definition of kindness, a picture of Harry Styles would pop up on the first page. Don’t quote her on that, though.
Harry had checked on her multiple times during the day, taken her and a few other colleagues out for lunch as a “celebration” he said. He really didn’t act like any other CEO she had met.
“Hey, are you still here? Thought your day ended at five, you must be exhausted.” Harry was doing a final round in the offices. Y/N was the last one left, just wanting to land back on her feet and feel her surroundings after a long first day. She thought she’d be the last one out, but Harry was there as well. Of course he was. Y/N snapped her head up, looking at him. He had almost scared her with his quiet steps into her office space. “Jesus, Harry, you scared me!” Y/N scrunched her eyes shut, putting her hand over her pumping heart. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t resist, I didn’t mean to scare ye’ though.” Harry said with a smirk. Y/N raised her eyebrow at him. “Didn’t mean to, huh? Don’t believe it for a second.” She said, throwing him a suspicious look, but with a smile; she just couldn’t help it. Harry chuckled. “You’ll just have to believe that I’m a kind enough person to not scare away the new employee on the first day, I don’t know what to tell you.” Harry hit back, slight ironic cockiness in his voice.
Y/N just smiled and continued packing up her laptop and the pamphlets she’d gotten from HR, along with a few papers that needed to be signed.
Y/N almost couldn’t look at him without having butterflies erupting in her stomach. Call her stupid, insane, mentally weak, but she could feel a serious crush coming on. Scratch that, it isn’t coming on, it’s already there, burning in her belly and begging to seen and heard.
Or another time, around a month into working for Pleasing when Y/N had knocked on Harry’s office door, almost in tears.
Maybe it sounded dramatic, but getting used to a new workplace, new routines and IT systems; Y/N would find herself frustrated and she hated bothering her colleagues with her questions every 5 minutes.
Y/N knocked on the glass door, her jaw strained and aching with how much she was trying to keep it together.
Harry opened the door, stepping aside. “Hey there, darling. You alright?” He said as he nodded his head to give her a cue to step inside.
He looked so good that day, in one of pristine, ironed suits. The first few buttons were undone, and a fine dusting of hair was peeking out of the shirt as well as the tattoos on his chest that Y/N hadn’t gotten to see the full version of. His lips were chapped, like he had picked on the skin in his anxious thoughts. Y/N swallowed harshly, stepping inside and plopping down on the sofa in his office. “I need your help.” She just said, looking up at him, holding on to her frustrated tears.
Harry could tell she wasn’t her chirpy, flirty and smug self, his heart suddenly feeling gooey and yelling at him to sit down and embrace her.
“Anything, I’m glad you came. What do you need, pet?” Harry said as he closed the door and sat opposite her on another sofa. He was leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.
“I just…I feel frustrated because there’s so many things I don’t have the hang of yet and I hate being a bother to everyone and asking questions all the time. It’s either that I don’t fucking get it or it’s because there’s suddenly new things and I can’t seem to keep up.” She said, her eyes stuck on the cushions Harry was sitting on, afraid that she’d break if she looked right at him.
Harry was quiet for a good while, anxiety washing over Y/N when he wouldn’t answer. She braced herself for some kind of lashing out. She knew he wasn’t like any other boss, but maybe coming to him with this was a mistake, a showcasing of her weakness that would be the end of her time at Pleasing.
“Sorry…I-“ She started before Harry spoke up.
“Darling, don’t ever apologise. You need to go easy on yourself, you’ve been here for just a month and there’s a lot to learn, you don’t have to do everything at once, that’s impossible. I’m really glad you came to me, of course I’ll help you with anything I can.” Harry said softly. Y/N relaxed into her seat, feeling almost dumb for thinking he’d lash out at her. She nodded, finally looking up at him, to find him searching her eyes and smiling kindly. “Thank you, H, I just, I know it’s a competitive business, and I don’t want to ever let you down just because I can’t figure out fucking excel.” She chuckled.
Harry laughed and shook his head. “As if you could ever let me down.” He said under his breath, almost like she wasn’t meant to hear it. “Let’s get to it, then, come sit down next t’me and pull out your laptop.”
Harry had arranged a small get away weekend for the two of them. Coming up on almost 6 months, they were yet to go on a trip together, and Harry wanted nothing more than some quality time with his girl. His girl.
He had spent two weeks trying to plan everything down to the food they were going to cook, to what activities they could do to keep them occupied.
Harry had booked them a cabin in the woods, by a small lake. It was around a three-hour drive from London, which was perfect for going away for a weekend.
A weekend where it would be just the two of them, no distractions of phones or other people, just them. Harry was so excited, struggling to keep it a secret when all he wanted was to spill all the details and spoil Y/N with insight into all his plans, but he kept his mouth shut.
They had already agreed to spend the weekend together at Harry’s, so naturally, they’d drive home together after work on Friday. Harry was driving, one hand on the wheel, and the other finding Y/N’s over the centre consol. Fingers lightly tracing knuckles and palms while Harry had their playlist on in the background.
Y/N sat up slightly and her eyebrows furrowed when she realized that they were going towards her apartment instead, and not his.
“I thought we were staying at yours this weekend?”
Harry laughed, the plan in his head was turning out just the way he wanted it to. He parked the car outside of her building. “Get out with me.” He said, meeting her when he rounded the car. His hands reached out and gripped her jaw, placing a few small pecks on her pink lips. Confusion was still prominent on her face. “We’re going to go upstairs, and you’re going to pack a bag for a weekend away. I didn’t want to say anything, ‘cause I wanted it to be a surprise.” He smiled. Y/N melted into his touch. “Are you serious, where are we going?” Her eyes lit up with excitement at his words. “Not telling you yet, you’ll find out.” She shook her head at his words.
“You’re so sneaky. And here I was thinking that you couldn’t keep a secret if your life depended on it.” Y/N teased as she turned on her heel towards her apartment to pack a weekend bag.
The pair had stopped early in their trip to get some snacks at a gas station, just something to keep them awake after a long day at the office. Y/N had taken off her shoes and cozied up in the passenger seat, manipulating her seatbelt so that her back was leaning against the car door. Her feet was propped up on the centre consol as she observed Harry from her seat. Every little hair on his head, his eyes on the road that sometimes glanced over at her, a smile spreading on his face when he caught her looking at him. One of his hands reached for her, hand spreading out over her knee and squeezing it slightly. “What’s on your mind, pet?” Y/N tilted her head. “Like you don’t know.” She laughed and leant back against the door. “Just thinking about how the hell I landed you.” She continued, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks with the words, but still confident. Harry sighed. “You’ve got it all backwards, I’m afraid. You’re so out of my league it’s insane, I’m surprised I didn’t have to beg on my knees for you to date me.” He replied to her, once again squeezing her knee. “Well, let’s be real, you kind of did.” Y/N said as a comeback, clearly remembering the anxious, thinly spread Harry that night almost 6 months ago. “Alright, that’s enough or I’ll drop you off on the side of the road.” Harry replied, faking a threat as he felt the embarrassment of that evening come over him. “You wouldn’t, think you love me a little too much to leave on the side of the road.” She continued to tease.
Of course she was right.
“Harry. Is this all for us, have you gone completely insane?” Y/N looked at him without a hint of amusement behind her eyes as she stepped out of the car to look at the so called “cabin” that Harry had rented out. Thing is, it wasn’t just a cabin. It was a huge, sprawling estate, hidden away from neighbours and curious gazes. It had to have cost him thousands of punds just for a weekend getaway, and even though Y/N appreciated his act of love, they had had this conversation before; the one about money.
Y/N didn’t grow up with wealth, and neither did Harry. But as the years had passed, Harry had gotten ridiculously rich. No prize on either cars or estates phased him, he barely looked at the cost of things, which Y/N had thought was completely insane, even though she didn’t exactly know the extent of his wealth.
The first argument about money that they had, was early on in their relationship, just a month after they’d become official.
It had been Y/N’s birthday.
They were newly in love. It had been a month. They spent all their awake time together, at work, at home, in bed and weekends. Their hearts were blooming, still with that wondrous love in their hearts each time they looked at each other. Everything was easy, bright and happy.
Y/N’s birthday was coming up, and since she didn’t want to make a big deal of it, she had told Harry that they’d spend it with some of their friends. She had also warned him, to not get her anything as a gift. Y/N wasn’t really aware of what the code was when it’s your partners birthday, but you’re a new couple, so to avoid any awkward feelings, she straight up told him not to get her anything.
Harry wasn’t like that though. He knew her birthday was coming up long before she’d warned him. It might’ve even been one of the first things he’d memorized about her after she left her initial interview at Pleasing. His nosey ass couldn’t keep his nose out of her application papers that was clearly stating her date of birth and age.
He had been a little bit taken aback when Y/N told him not to get her anything, because he had already gotten her something. Something that, in his eyes it wasn’t a big present of any sort, just an appreciation for his girlfriend that he loved more than the number of stars in the sky.
“Can I just get you something small? Please, I know you don’t want anything, but it doesn’t feel right, I just want to celebrate you, you deserve it.” Harry had mentioned over the breakfast they were sharing. Y/N shook her head at him adoringly. “Does it really mean that much to you? A get together with you and my friends is more than enough for me.” Y/N reached out over the table and entwined her fingers through his. He was warm.
“It does, I like giving gifts, and it can be something small, I just want to get you something. If you really don’t want to I won’t but I can’t lie and say it won’t break my heart a little.” He admitted to her. So, she agreed. It was just something small, and she found his urge to care for her so badly very sweet.
And Harry didn’t necessarily lie, the gift was indeed small, but it was expensive. Harry had barely blinked at the prize when he’d went to the jeweller’s and picked out a piece that would suit her perfectly. And maybe that was the problem in all of this. Harry had spent so much of his life by now, bathing in money, and it didn’t really matter to him anymore what things cost him, because at this point, he had made more money than he’ll ever be able to spend.
Y/N didn’t have that, she wasn’t, nor had she ever bathed in money. She was like everyone else, budgeting her money to see what she could spend and save, and she quite enjoyed it, she didn’t have too much or too little of anything.
So when she opened his “small gift” on his sofa, amongst his friend on her birthday evening, she could feel her blood burning when she pulled out a beautiful, white gold bracelet with tiny charms linked to it. Amongst the charms was an “H” initial and amongst a few others that she could recognize meant something to the both of them. A collective gasp was spread through the room, and Y/N knows she should be happy, but right she felt almost embarrassed. Here she was, sat with her regular friends and millionaire boyfriend, while he gifted her jewellery worth thousands of pounds. Harry sat beside her, smiling widely and awaiting a reaction to his gift. Y/N couldn’t find it in herself to be ungrateful, she wasn’t, but she needed to talk to Harry about the way her stomach twisted and turned, how her cheeks turned red and how she felt guilty to receive something like this. But now wasn’t the time. Instead, she turned to him with a weak smile and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, my love.” She simply said before turning back to her friends and picking up another gift. It hurt her. She could see the slight disappointment in Harry’s eyes as she put his gift to the side.
It had all turned into something much bigger. Y/N wasn’t handling his apparent wealth and need to spoil her very well, and Harry was just confused. He couldn’t understand in his wildest mind how she didn’t want him to spoil her. He couldn’t understand her anger, her guilt, and her refusal to let him love her in this way. Because that was it. Plain and simple he loved her. He hadn’t dared to stutter those words since their first night together, and she hadn’t either, but he sure felt it. He felt in his his whole body, and he had for an embarrassing amount of time.
They made up, at last, and she accepted his gift after a few persuasive kisses and promises of no more gifts like these. She made it clear to him that she did appreciate his effort, and the thoughtfulness, but she didn’t appreciate the huge amount of money he had spent. Harry listened and took it to heart. He wanted to make her happy, of course, and gift giving was part of his love language, he just had to learn to tone it down slightly.
That same feeling in Y/N’s stomach that she had on her birthday had returned as she stepped out of the car and looked at the huge house in front of her. It wasn’t like he had bought her a whole house, it was just a weekend away, but it’s the principle of him spending that much money on her that made her uneasy.
“Darling.” Harry just said as he looked over to her. He knew from the look on her face that the same as the one she wore on her birthday. Harry rounded the car to stand right in front of her.
“This isn’t a cabin Harry. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, you know I appreciate when you plan things like this but…” her fingers played nervously with her rings, tears feeling like they could escape from her eyes at any moment. “Look at me.” Harry said, his hand coming up to her cheek, thumb grazing softly over her jaw. “It’s not just a cabin, ‘m sorry. And I know how you feel about this but you also have to know how I feel. I feel like I could never give you enough, you deserve everything I have pet, and sometimes that shows with money. I don’t want it to bother you like this, because I love y- …doing this for you. You must accept that I want to do this and that I’ve got no bad intentions, just want to show you how much you mean to me.” He almost let it slip from his lips. It felt so easy. Y/N swallowed hard. She didn’t want to fight about money, but being taken care of like this was still so foreign to her that she didn’t know how to handle it. She nodded, and looked up at him with watery eyes. “No more.” She just said as she melted into his body, arms wrapping around his middle and her nose searching for his scent lathered in the neckline of his shirt. “There will be more, I want to give you all of it, pet.” Harry replied. She just nodded into the warmth of his chest.
Overwhelmed was the right word. She didn’t know what to do with all these new feelings of guilt that was put in her, where did they come from? Why couldn’t she just accept that he only did this out of pure adoration for her heart?
They got their bags out of the car and stepped inside the house. From the foyer, she could see straight through the house, with a beautiful lake spread out just a few meters from the house. The water on the lake was shimmering in on the roof, which made the whole house look absolutely magical, like something out of a movie.
The house was massive, white walls and high ceilings with an open kitchen carrying dark wooden details and stone countertops. It was the house of Y/N’s dreams.
They spent the afternoon getting settled in, and going down to the lake to have a splash around. Y/N had discovered a porch swing sitting under the balcony, facing the lake and greenery around it, and if she wasn’t already in love with this place, it only intensified when she saw the swing.
But it wasn’t any old, creaky porch swing, it looked almost like a suspended sofa, blankets draped over it and pillows in the corners.
It was her turn to plan something small for Harry.
As they stood in the burning hot shower after their dip in the lake, Y/N hurriedly scrubbed herself down from the dirt and grime and turned to Harry who looked slightly confused at her erratic behaviour. “You got somewhere to be, pet?” Harry chuckled as she hung up her loofah. Y/N had a mischievous look on her face as she wrapped her arms around his middle. “It’s my turn for a little surprise now. I want you to meet my out the back in 40 minutes, and not a minute earlier, alright?” She said as she reached up and placed a single peck on Harry’s chin. Harry nodded, both his hands coming up to her head, carding through her wet hair and pushing it away from the gentle features of her face, then leaning down and connecting their lips. “I’ll be out in 40 minutes.”
Y/N scrambled to put on her comfortable, yet pretty new pyjamas, and dug out what she needed for her little surprise. She pulled out some candles from the depth of a cabinet in the kitchen, a bottle of wine and her speaker, some fruit for them to snack on and finally, a little gift that she had prepared.
The sun had started to set, a few rays still on the porch swing as she got out. She put the candles in the little lanterns and set up a little table for them, wanting to just have some down-time in the porch swing before their evening ended.
Harry stuck his head out the back door exactly 40 minutes later, a big smile on his face, and his freshly washed curls in a mess on top of his head.
Y/N snapped her head around. “Come sit.” Y/N smiled at him and reached out her hand for him, leading him over to the swing. “You’ve made it so lovely out here, pet. So nice to me, always.” Harry whispered to Y/N’s cheek as he pulled her closer to him. Harry was also wearing some cozy clothes, and through her thin pyjamas, she could feel the heat of his body and ripple of his muscle under his skin. He was home.
They sat down and cozied up with a blanked as Y/N poured them wine. “For you, my good sir.” She said teasingly, reaching him the glass of red wine. As she poured herself a glass, she leaned back into the soft cushion of the swing and into his arms. She was curled up, while Harry had his legs on the ground beneath, softly swinging them back and forth.
“I’m really sorry I was acting like I was earlier. I just have a hard time with you spoiling me like this, but I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate it, I do, I really do, H.” Y/N admitted as she looked up at Harry. He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes studying the lake that was still catching the last few sunrays. Then he shook his head as he caught her eyes. “You don’t have to apologize t’me, pet. I know you appreciate it. I just…I need you to know that this isn’t a one-off thing. I want to be able to spoil you. I also know that I’ve told you all of my intentions with you, I want always with you. I want us to enjoy our life, I want us to explore, I want to…I want to be with you, and sometimes I want to spend money on you. I can’t say that it doesn’t hurt me a little when you reject me like that, but I also understand where you’re coming from.” Harry laid out. Y/N felt her insides twist at his mention of her rejecting him, cause in her head, it wasn’t like that; not at all. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m rejecting you. I want the same thing as you, I just…that I don’t want to…bother you, I think. I don’t make nearly as much money as you do and sometimes it makes me feel like shit because I can’t bring the same thing to this relationship as you can. I guess it’s just something that’s always going to stick with me, but I want to be better.”
Y/N said, trying her best to be vulnerable and let him see her side of things. Harry snapped his head to look at her. “Is that really how you feel? Like you’re a bother to me?” He asked her, genuinely, not accusing her of her feelings, but sounding like he was genuinely concerned and interested in what her answer might be. “I do sometimes. I work for you, and I’m your girlfriend, it’s a bit hard to navigate sometimes, because we see each other so constantly, and I just don’t want you to get tired of me.” Harry nodded at her words, and stayed quiet for a moment. Y/N could see the wheels spinning in his head, trying to put the right words into his mouth. “You don’t ever have to feel like you’re a bother. Ever. I want to spend every moment with you, and I know I am so lucky to get to see you every single day at work. I do all of these things because I care about you, and in a world where money is everywhere and everything, I sometimes don’t think about the value of some things. You say that you bring nothing to this relationship, but I wish I could put into words how wrong you are.” Harry said honestly, his thumb stroking gentle circles over her cheek as he leaned in to connect them in a kiss. “I’m in love with you. I haven’t told you since that first night, but I don’t think I can keep it in me anymore, I need to tell you, all the time. I need you to know that you’re it, f’me. I love you so much, and you’ll never bother me the way you think you are.” He said against her lips, breaths switching between them because they’re close, so close. Y/N feels like her whole body is on fire, she’s blushing, her lower stomach filling with arousal and all the love she feels for him is just waiting to explode out of her like a fountain. So she does the first thing that comes to her mind. She kisses him again, again and again, until they’re out of breath and panting. “I love you, thank you for loving me like you do.” Is all she says, and she can feel him smiling into their kiss. Y/N moves around on the swing, and gently places their glasses back on the tiny table in front of them before pushing harry down to lay on his back. “Need to show you.” She murmurs against his mouth, as he welcomes her wet kisses trailing down his neck, making the hairs on his body stand up. “Yeah? You’re going to show me how much you love me?” He teased, as he let himself be pushed around to her liking. There was just something about Harr’s dirty talk that got her going even more, his velvety, low voice, combined with those forbidden, almost taboo words, mixed with his high praises and promise of pleasure. It was her favourite thing.
Y/N straddled his hips, looking down at him with a blown out pupils and slight smile as she tugged on her top to discard it on the floor. Harry’s hands instantly came up to touch. First smoothing over her belly and ribs until he reached her fleshy breasts, pinching her nipples and gauging her reaction. Her body caved into Harry’s as he touched her, leaning over him, with her breasts right in front of his face. Harry seized the moment, sticking out his tongue to tease her nipples, nipping them and working his tongue over them. A frustrated, pleasured moan came from Y/N as she started grinding her hips on his warm, plumping cock. Harry could feel her warmth through her bottoms, opting to grab onto her hips with his hands to pull her closer to him. “Can you feel what you’re doing to me, pet? Feel how much I love you?” Harry breathed into her hair, kissing her pulse point right under her ear, slightly biting on the earlobe.
“Mmmh” Was all she was able to get out before Harry pushed her away from him, grabbing her hand and rushing off to their bedroom for the weekend.
They barely made it through the door before Harry’s lips were on hers again, hands over any skin he could get to as they got rid of the remains of clothes that they still had on.
“Wanna taste…wanna bite.” Harry said to her skin, moving down the bed as he placed wet kisses down her sternum, belly, until he reached her mound. Y/N panted heavily with just the feel of his hands and kisses on her skin as she tangled her fingers through his locks to see his face properly. “Please.” She mewled when he teasingly places feather-light licks and kisses on her inner thighs and mound. “Be good, you’re going to get it, but you have to be my good girl, okay?” He said in reply to her mewl and her hands trying to steer her towards where she wanted him. “I’m good, I want to be good.” Y/N replied absentmindedly. And just as she was about to complain again, she felt his hot tongue inside of her, licking broad licks from her opening to her clit. Shivers of pleasure rippled through her body as he pleased her with his mouth, sucking, nipping, licking, and massaging wherever he could get to.
“You taste like heaven baby, so sweet for me, always.” Harry said as he came up for air. “More, please, H” Y/N said the moment his lips left her. She could feel herself getting closer to her that cliff of pleasure, just about to fall off when he detached. “I know, pet, you’re so close yeah? Could feel it on my tongue. Want my fingers too?” All she could do was nod, frustrated and writhing around in the crispy sheets. “You know I need your wor-“ “Yes, yes please, please do anything” She interrupted him in desperation, her hazy mind not caring about her manners at all. “Good girl.” Was all Harry said before diving back in with his mouth and fingers, instantly feeling her clench around his fingers as he curved them, poking the squishy island of pleasure with the tips of his fingers. Y/N moaned out as she got close, closer to the edge of her orgasm, raising to her elbows so she could see him. His eyes were closed as he worked his magic on her.
“I’m coming” Y/N airily moaned as her whole body tightened and she let herself fall over the cliff. Harry continued to work her through the waved of pleasure, prolonging her orgasm for as long as he possibly could.
Y/N in her post orgasm haze shot up from the sheets, pulling Harry up to her as she kissed him. She could taste herself on his lips, residual wetness around his mouth and chin transferring onto her skin. It was so hot. Without another word, she rolled him over, straddling him once again, like out on the swing. She sat right over his hard length, not yet putting him in as Harry had a lazy, smile on his face, pupils blown out in arousal and pleasure. Y/N put her hands on Harry’s chest, feeling up his muscles and dragging down to his toned stomach as she started moving over his cock, wetting him with her own arousal.
“Pet, Shhi- I’m not going to last if you grind on me like that.” Harry said as he fixed his eyes on hers, a little wrinkle of strain between his dark brows. Y/N said nothing to him, continuing to slick his cock with her wetness with a playful smile and moans of pleasure leaving her lips every time the head bumped her clit. Harry’s hands took a firm grip around her wrists as he sat up.
“You’re just asking for it, aren’t you? Thought you’d want it slow and sweet tonight, but I guess I was wrong.” Harry said in a harsh tone, although Y/N could see straight through him. “Doesn’t matter, just want you to fuck me. You always tease me so I thought you’d have a taste of your own medicine.” Y/N replied sassily with a scowl on her face, but a sparkle in her eye that gave her away immediately. “You…” Harry chuckled as he pinned her down on the bed, giving himself a few cursory strokes before lining himself up with her. “Tell me, pet. Tell me what I want to hear and I’ll give it to you” Harry mumbled into her neck, kissing and sucking on her salty skin. “Mhh, I love you, please get in me” Y/N whimpered out as she reached down in between them, trying any and everything to get him inside of her. “I love you too, pet, tell me again” He spluttered out, kissing her lips as he finally sank in to her, groaning int her mouth. A wave of relief flooded over Y/N, her desperation for him finally calming down as he poked and prodded at her insides with his cock. Harry picked up his pace, giving her deep, long strokes with his hips as Y/Ns legs wrapped around his body.
Missionary was a classic for the two of them, people found it boring and plain, but for Harry and Y/N, it was their preferred position. Easy access to one another, being able to touch, look, and swallow the other’s moans as they chased their highs. Few things were as romantic for them as missionary. And don’t get this wrong, they are the couple to explore new positions and find other ways to pleasure, but they always returned to this. There was something so raw and pure about it, and they couldn’t get enough.
Their foreheads were stuck together, panting into each other’s mouths as Harry hooked her legs into the crease of his elbows, allowing him to hit her at a new angle. “Baby” Y/N moaned out from the change in angle, his cock hitting her spot head on as he continued to work into her. A layer of sweat was building on his chest and shoulders from the strain of chasing their pleasure, and Y/N wanted to lick it off. He looked so good like this.
“I know, I know it feels so good, pet, I feel it too. You’re the best I’ve ever had, should never let you leave my bed.” Harry praised her in response as he kissed the sides of her face, looking at her blissed out expression. Y/N could feel her orgasm approaching again, and Harry could tell, letting go of one of her legs and reaching down between them to touch her. “H, I’m going to come, please, keep going” She mewled underneath him, trying to chase his movements with her hips as she threw her head to the side and into the pillow. “I’m coming pet, so fucking weak for you. Want it inside, want me to fill you up, baby?” Harry replied with a raspy groan, and that, that made Y/N tip over yes. Her orgasm wracked through her body, her nails digging into Harry’s biceps as she let out sounds of her pleasure. “Inside, please, Daddy, I want it inside.” She encouraged as her eyes glazed over, fixing her eyes on his as she knew he was right after her, wanting the most out of his orgasm, just as he did to her. “Shit- pet you’re playing dirty, Daddy’s gonna come for you, I-“ Harry groaned as he let out pathetic little whimpers. His hips stuttered, burying himself deeper inside of her and catching her lips in a messy kiss, warm tongue sliding over hers. She could feel her lower stomach, warm with him, chuckling and pushing the hair out of his face as he collapsed on top of her completely.
Her nails started raking through his hair and down his back as they basked in the afterglow of their intense sex. Harry placed a gentle kiss on her collarbone and put his head on her shoulder, looking up at her. “I wish I had more words in my vocabulary to tell you how much I love you, I feel like I love you isn’t enough.” Harry spoke genuinely in a low tone. “Write me a book, yeah?” She chuckled as she tried to settle into the moment and enjoy it before having to detangle from each other. “Don’t joke about that, might as well happen, you know.” Harry laughed as he detached their sticky bodies rising from the bed. “C’mon, my love, quick wash up and then sleep.”
Y/N laid there looking at his outstretched arm, completely bare for each other as her heart pumped with pure love and adoration for the man in front of her. She took his hand, and they stumbled into the shower together.
Y/N was awoken by a harsh light in her face, and Harry sitting up on the edge of the bed. He put his phone to his ear, and she could hear him talking lowly on his phone. Casting her a glance and then leaving through the door as to not disturb her sleep.
She could hear him out in the hall.
“I don’t know what to tell you, I can’t….i can’t do anything from here, I’m away for the weekend…No…Well you’re going to have to fix It in some way, call Niall, I’m not available. All I ask is one weekend in quiet and you idiots can’t even do that. Fine. Call Niall and head of security at IT and figure it out, yeah? Bye.”
Y/N listened curiously in her cocoon of blankets, what time was it, why did they need him now?
Harry stepped inside once again and lifted the blankets. Y/N couldn’t really tell if it was anger or worry on his face. “I’m sorry I woke you up, pet. Some idiots at the office don’t know how to handle their job. Let’s go back to sleep.” She could tell he tried his best not to let anger spill out on their conversation, and she felt bad for him, always having to be available and never catching a break. This job would be the death of him some day.
“You’re alright, baby. It’s not your fault. What did they need you for?” She tried with a gentle voice, welcoming him into her arms as he settled in bed and turned off the bedside lamp. “There’s been some kind of security breach in one department, and someone is trying to leak personal data and now they want a ransom to not leak the data and get out of our systems.” Harry sighed. Jesus. “There’s nothing I can do, but they’re calling in head of IT and security to have a look at it, it’s happened before, but hopefully it’s just a scare. Didn’t want to wake you up though, I’m sorry,” He continued, obviously feeling defeated and helpless in the situation.
“I’m sure there’s a way to make it up to me.” Y/N tried as she placed gentle kisses on his jaw and neck, and she could feel Harry instantly relaxing and smiling at her wording. “Yeah? Tell me and I’ll make it up to you.” He let her lead him on, feeling her hands playing with the elastic of his boxer briefs. “Guess.” Harry shook his head in adoration as he pulled down his boxers and took her underwear off in the same movement, getting in behind her and pushing inside of her. No preparation was needed. Nothing got him harder when he knew she wanted him.
“Fuck, it hasn’t even been two hours and I’ve already missed being inside of you.” Harry admitted with a sigh as he entered her again.
It was lazy, raw and desperate sex, in the middle of the night. Harry couldn’t stop thinking about her, having her in every way imaginable. And he kept thinking about his life from over a year ago, when he had no idea that she, the love of his life, was about to enter into her life. And even if it was just something small, like having sex to take the edge off from the day, Harry couldn’t imagine anything else for his life as they fell asleep cuddled up to each other, leaving no room for work or security breaches to enter his mind. It was just them.
Back at work, a few days later, Lydia, Y/N’s co-worker and close friend smiled suspiciously at Y/N as she prepared her desk for the workday,
“There’s something up with you, and I can’t tell what it is.” Lydia wiggled her eyebrows with an interrogating look on her face. Y/N blushed slightly, but tries to keep a straight face through the conversation, having a sip of her morning coffee. “I’m an open book.” Y/N tried to play, but she could tell that Lydia wasn’t buying it. “You. Me. Meeting in Atlas in 5 minutes. We need to have a MEETING.” Lydia pressed, gathering her things and rushing off to the free meeting room to have a pretend meeting with her best friend. Y/N rolled her eyes and went after her. She could never keep anything from Lydia. She just knew stuff without knowing. Of course, the whole office knew about Harry and Y/N getting involved, but they kept in on the low.
“Alright. Spill the beans, all of them, right now.” Lydia said immediately when she closed the door and plopped down in a chair opposite of Y/N. Just as she was about to answer her, Harry walked by on the other side of the glass. He glanced inside, smiling his brilliant smile and sending her a quick wink before he was off. Y/N looked up with a smile spreading over her face, just from that small interaction. Lydia didn’t even have to turn around. “It’s him, yeah?” Y/N nodded, eyes stuck on the glass where he had just walked by. “I think I’m going to marry him.” Y/N said as she kept looking through the glass. Her heart grew every time she looked at him. If this wasn’t love, then she didn’t know what was.
And Lydia just burst out laughing, a true belly laugh, like she hadn’t heard anything funnier in her whole lifetime. “Babe, tell me something I don’t know. I’ve never seen two people as dumb in love with each other as you two. I’m sure there’s going to be a ring on your finger in the next year, but probably tomorrow if Harry got to have it his way. Plus, you two wreaked of “I just had the best sex of my life” the minute you stepped into the building”
Y/N just blinked at Lydia, blushing at her comment. She hadn’t heard anyone talking about them like that before, and it made her heart grow three sizes. Was it that obvious to everyone? Even Harry?
“Really, you think so?” Y/N replied with a watery smile. Lydia looked at her with a smile. “I know so. There’s absolutely no doubt. I’ve known Harry for about three years, and he’s never been like this, ever. It’s like a different person, I’m telling you- “. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door, both Lydia’s and Y/N’s eyes flying up to see Harry at the door. “Hello ladies, I was just wanting to borrow Y/N for a quick second.” He tried to be professional, bless him, but the smile overtaking his features revealed him. Lydia smiled at him. “Of course. No funny business, Mr. Styles.” She teased him with a smack on his arm as she left the room, turning around when she was behind him and staring at her intensely, “I TOLD YOU” She mouthed to her.
Y/N chuckled, rising from her chair and meeting Harry halfway around the conference table. “What a pleasure, Mr. Styles, what could you want me for, huh?” Y/N teasingly smiled as she stepped into his embrace. Harry looked down at her with nothing but love in his eyes, his thumb grazing her cheek as she leaned into his touch, “Just wanted to ask the lady if she would like to have dinner with me, tonight. Was thinking about making my famous curry, and I’d like for you to be there.” Harry continued with his little act. “Well, my good sir, I would really like that. I’ll see you later, then.” Y/N replied courteously as she began walking out; but not before Harry grabbed her hand and pulled her back into him. Both his hand on her face, gently passing his fingers through her hair and picking at stray pieces of hair, lovingly. “I love you, be good, yeah?” He said in a way that made her lower stomach flutter with arousal. “I’ll be good. I love you.” She replied before he attached his lips to hers in a long, soft kiss. A few more pecks for good measure, and then she turned around and left, a glimmer in her eye.
Harry stood glued in his spot, completely besotted with her and everything that was her. “I think I need to marry her.” He whispered to himself as he shook out of his daydream, to continue his workday.
#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fluff#harry styles x reader#harry styles masterlist#ceo!harry#ceo harry styles#harry styles smut#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fic
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some media i have consumed this summer that has influenced me and left marks on my life in deep and profound ways (a very long stream of consiousness list of reccomendations for people to read/watch/listen to that i do not feel sorry for)
STONE BUTCH BLUES BY LESLIE FEINBERG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! every queer person should read this book but especially butches, trans mascs, afabs, and wlw. lots of people are not big readers and i understand but my friends who have read this have all read like the first page and been absolutely sucked into it because it's incredible. for how intense and thoughtful it is it also isn't a difficult read, language is very understandable and it's not very long, i read it all in a few hours. also it's free online because leslie feinberg is the sweetest kindest parent to us all. remember her as a revolutionary communist. https://lesliefeinberg.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Stone-Butch-Blues-by-Leslie-Feinberg.pdf
Just Kids by Patti Smith is such a beautiful story and it feels like such a good book for any artist to read. i feel a little like the odd one out among my artist friends because my creative process is very different from theirs as a graphic designer and i don't create the same kind of art they do. it makes me feel like i'm falling behind in some ways, like i'm not as much of an artist as they are. it's something i've been thinking about a lot this summer, but this book kind of soothed me. maybe it's because smith kind of has a bit of an outsider quality, she was a poet and an artist before a musician or a singer, but she still had her place with some of the most skilled rock musicians of the time. reading books about musicians and artists really changes they way i interpret their work and listening to the album horses was so incredible after reading just kids.
hesitating to list Into the Wild by John Krakauer because i think chris mccandless is kind of a dipshit, but it still made me think a lot about free will and the earth and how we interact with the environment we live in. i had a lot of fun walking around my town and reading this book, i went on this epic walk to some places i'd never been before on foot while reading from this paperback. it gave me a bit of a chuckle sometimes because while i was reading it my partner told me how his mom thinks he should never go into the woods and how nature is scary. i also tend to think of it every time i am wading into a lake or a pond or river, the moment when i'm up to my waist and about to dive the rest of the way in.
Witness This! is an album by my friend's band, Tall Travis, and it totally blew my mind. they are a vermont/massachusetts based folk punk band, and i think they are so fucking talented it makes me want to put my fist through a wall. i listened to their album a while after it came out and was like holy shit i need to go see them live and talk to my friend RIGHT NOW, went to a concert of theirs the very next day. i keep thinking that they can't get better at making music than they already are and yet every album they release surpasses all expectations. my friend also wrote and sings a song loosely based on into the wild, it's such a beautiful song, and seeing it live felt like one of the most punk things that's ever happened to me even though it doesn't sound quite like a punk song. https://youtu.be/VE6w-LcUGbo folk isn't a genre for everyone and yet i feel like tall travis kind of has a song and a sound for everyone in their music. this are my two fav songs from witness this that i absolutely love, All Along the Riverside https://youtu.be/LUH4zOgs6mg and Fences and Laws https://youtu.be/sBstXES0tG0 also here is an article someone wrote about them! https://m.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/on-their-third-album-ascendant-burlington-folk-punk-band-tall-travis-embrace-change/Content?oid=38696552
youtube
youtube
youtube
the We're Having Gay Sex podcast hosted by comedian Ashley Gavin is kind of my obession. it's a queer comedy podcast where the hosts have a new guest every episode and everyone shares a gay sex story. sometimes it's not gay and sometimes it's not even technically a story about sex but it has taught me a lot and made me feel more comfortable and confident in my body, my sexuality, and my queerness. they have all different kinds of guests on the pod, they have youtubers, actors, influencers, comedians, podcasters, scientists, they have people who are queer, straight, ace, any perspective you can think of they have someone. it's really funny and destigmatizes sex and our weird human bodies. love this pod and think it's really useful when you don't really have people around you who you can have totally open conversations about sex with, it's like a little friend <3333
Happy-Go-Lucky is a movie that i watched with my dad recently, it stars sally hawkins as this adorable optimist making her way through a much more cynical world and interacting with people who make a lot of assumptions about her based on her femininity and her attitude. feminity and girlhood has been an important part of my life experience, but i'm also questioning that and learning to accept myself as gender fluid and trans masc (I THINK? SEND HELP) so a lot of stories about traditional femininity make me feel a little alienated sometimes. but i really related to happy-go-lucky and sally hawkins character and it made me hopeful in a lot of ways. this movie is not craziest most spectacular movie you will ever see, it's just so so real and matter-of-fact, and that's why i love it. also sally hawkins character is so intriguing because she totally shows you who the people are that you are watching this movie with, her voice and personality are such an incredible test. i personally find her so charming and cute!!! and i may be trans masc but her outfits are so cute!!!!! like babes i want that layered dress outfit and those cool tights
#book recs#movie recs#podcast recs#music recs#folk punk#just kids#patti smith#stone butch blues#leslie feinberg#happy go lucky#whgs#we're having gay sex#ashley gavin#Youtube
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PT 4: Almost a Mistake
"Hello, I'm calling because I heard there was an open spot for this company." You've been looking around for jobs, and of course, every time you called they just weren't hiring anymore. Writing is your passion, you love that you can convey your emotions and write something that can make people happy. But most of all, you love that you can write to make yourself happy. But writing can take up so much and so much money. You don't have the luxury to sit on your couch or at your desk and write all day. You need money to make money.
And finally, you found a place that's hiring, somewhere you can be happy at. It's not an office job, which you're immensely happy about. It's a simple job at the local flower shop and it pays good money.
The person on the other line directs you to the hiring manager and you both talk for a good ten minutes.
"So," Hana drags out. "How was the call? Did you get the job?" Sabrine and Olivia chime in from the background. Of course, telling one friend leads to every friend knowing about your job search. But at least they're supportive. "I don't know yet," you let out a sigh, "I have to do an in-person interview and then go from there."
The girls groan, "Really? Can't you just send in a resume and they just hire you?" For someone who had many jobs, Olivia really doesn't know what she's talking about. To be fair, Olivia only got the jobs from friends who recommended her, but still, she should know the basics of getting one right? "It's not that easy, Olivia. I have to go to an interview and hope for the best."
After a long drawn-out argument about whether you can just get a job online, you all part ways from the call.
'Congratulations! You got the job, we'll see you tomorrow morning at 9.'
You let out a little squeal when you see the text, you finally got a good job!
The next morning, you get up feeling as bright as ever. You get ready for your new job, and although the uniform is kinda ugly, you make it work.
The day has been really good. The second you met your manager, Aiya, you knew you two clicked. She reminded you of Olivia, a little wild but has a heart of gold. Aiya even bought food for everyone to celebrate a new person, you, coming into the workplace.
"One bouquet of pink and red tulips with some small flowers for tea," you repeated the customer's order. "That'll be $10.00." The customer smiled and handed you the money, grabbed the flowers, and left. Every customer you've handled today has been so nice, big smiles and lots of 'thank you's.' You've worked in customer service before, but it's never been this easy. You hope every day is like this.
It's been a week since you started the job and everything has been good; the customers have been good to you and your manager is one of the nicest people you've ever met. Even most of your coworkers are amazing, which is rare in most jobs.
You haven't seen Karasu around as much, which isn't a problem at all. It's not like you look up every time the door chimes and a person walks in, hoping and expecting it to be him, no you don't do that at all. But you sometimes wish that he would stop by, you have told him where you work now. It was included in a conversation with him, aka, when he asked because he hasn't seen you around as much. It made you swoon when he asked that; he thinks about you.
The door chimes and you look up. At this point, you've gotten over expecting it to be Karasu. But your face brightens when you see oddly shaped hair, the tell-tale sign that it's Karasu. But then it falls when you see Otoya, does this man go everywhere with Karasu? You're sure that it's not a coincidence, you're sure that Kaiser just likes to make you angry.
"Hey, long time no see," Karasu's voice interrupted your thoughts. You smile at him and discreetly glare at Otoya. "Yeah, hey," you look back at Karasu, "Can I get you anything?"
Karasu smiles at you and looks behind him, the red chrysanthemums shining from the sunlight peeking through the window. Tabito points at them and looks back at you, "Can I get a bouquet of those?" You look past him and see the flowers and a smile comes back. You're smiling a lot today.
After getting the flowers wrapped up in a pretty pink tissue paper, you handed him them. "Sorry if I'm intruding," you grab the money from Tabito's hand, "But who are these flowers for?" Karasu opens his mouth to say something, but Otoya interrupts. "They're for a girl," his tone was flat. "Karasu won't shut up about her, and I convinced him to buy her flowers." Your face falls when you hear Otoya, Karasu likes a girl?
You know this isn't high school, or college, anymore, but you thought he had a crush on you. He asks about you, talks to you, and oh god you've been reading the situation wrong this entire time. You plaster a fake smile onto your face and look at Karasu. "I hope everything goes well, you can never go wrong with chrysanthemums."
The sound of your door closing stirs you out of your mind. You don't remember how you got home, or how you didn't manage to crash your car without focusing on the road. You need to talk to someone about this, and even though you're going to face the sarcasm of your friends, you need their comfort.
"Are you kidding me?" Hana almost screams over the phone. After so much contemplating, you decided to call Hana. You're glad that she has the same amount of anger you have. "He likes someone else? Was he not flirting with you this entire time?" Your ear started to hurt from the amount of screaming Hana is doing.
"It's okay, It's not like we're in high school," you sigh. How many times has this happened before? Like two or three, still a lot though. "No, it's not okay," Hana responded. She gave out the biggest sigh, "If you need me, I can come over and bring some ice cream, we can watch however much rom-cons you want," she said sympathetically.
"Nah, it's okay, I'm just gonna drown myself in some wine and call it a night, love you." You hung up before she could respond. Hana is like that voice in the back of your head, she wants to make sure you make the right decisions, but right now you want to just get drunk and forget about all this.
The music blared through your speaker, you're sure the neighbors are pissed, but who cares? You poured yourself another shot of whiskey and took a quick chug of your chaser. You didn't even remember you had the whiskey, maybe Kazuki slipped it into one of your boxes for a going-away present.
You hummed and grabbed your phone to skip the song. The momentary silence made you groan, why do songs take so long to change?
A knock at your door made you pause. Was someone here to complain. You weren't going to answer the door, but the knocks didn't stop. You groaned and paused the music before it could blast again. "Coming, 'm coming!" You hurried to the door, took a deep breath, and tried to act sober.
Once you opened the door, your tight smile fell and you sighed, "Otoya? What are you doing here?" Your words were slurred, but he could still make out what you said. He raised a brow and walked into your apartment, okay you don't remember allowing him in. "I should be the one asking why you're blasting music." He looked around your apartment, the mess made you blush. Of course he comes over when you're apartment is a mess. It is kinda his fault, though. If he didn't bring up the flowers, you wouldn't be shit-faced with clothes thrown around your living room.
"Partying, really?" "You're not allowed to say anything." You bite at him and flopped onto your couch. You put your feet up on the coffee table and leaned back, "Why are you here?" He sat next to you, "Wanted to make sure you're okay." You groaned, "Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm perfect!" You cheered as you lifted your arms above your head. "Don't lie to me, I saw the hurt in your eyes." Otoya looked at you, pity swimming in his eyes. "Shut up," you glared at him.
"Listen, you're too pretty for Karasu. He wouldn't know what to do with you, and he likes someone else." You feel like he's lying. "Oh really? Too pretty for him?" He hummed as an answer. "Then who would be perfect for me?" Otoya smiled and leaned towards you, "You should know, pretty." You rolled your eyes, you don't care if Otoya thinks you're too pretty for Karasu. Karasu is pretty, he's perfect for you.
Otoya leaned closer, his breath hitting your skin. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. He leaned closer again. "Can I kiss you?" Your breath was shaky as you exhaled. You almost said yes.
But, even in your drunken stupor, you knew you had to say no. Yeah, maybe Karasu doesn't like you and only sees you as a friend. But that doesn't mean you should kiss, or sleep with, his best friend. You're just not that type of person.
You shake your head and lean back, taking in a deep breath. "We shouldn't be doing this." You looked down, afraid of what his reaction would be. But Otoya placed his hand on your thigh and rubbed a little, "It's alright." He smiled a little. You expected him to be a little mad, but he just gave you a kind smile.
"I know what you're thinking," he smoothed a hand through his hair, "But I'm not that type of guy. If you don't want it, then I won't force you." Otoya grabbed your hand and placed a small kiss on the back. "But know, you won't find a man like me," he gave another smile, but this one was full of confidence. He really believed what he said. "Goodnight, darling," he placed his hand on your head and ruffled your hair a little.
#bllk#bllk x reader#bllk x you#blue lock#bllk otoya#otoya eita#otoya x reader#tabito karasu x reader#karasu tabito x reader#bllk karasu
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【Interview】Miku (An Cafe) × ClubZy ONLINE │Part #2
In February of that year, 2023, Miku was interviewed by the ClubZy Online team. ClubZy is a Japanese magazine specializing in visual-kei artists managed by Visual-kei Oyaji/Seiichi Hoshiko. The editor in chief of the magazine is Hakuei (Penicillin).
To access the interview, it was necessary to pay a contribution/subscription fee on the ClubZy no Nico channel (Japanese live broadcast platform), Cafekko Sara signed and sent us the interview!
After starting their hiatus in January 2019, AN CAFE made a 'live comeback' at [OSAKA MUSE 35th Anniversary Event “OUR CANVAS”] held last June/2022. After such a surprise, they celebrated their 20th anniversary this year by performing at Zepp Haneda on January 5th and 6th, 2023. In addition, it was also announced that they will be performing live in Tokyo and Osaka in August this year, surely many readers are creating expectations for the full resumption of activities. We caught up with Miku (Vo.) to talk about An Cafe's past, present and future!
Interview: Takayuki Murakami
Photo: Susumu Miyawaki
- An Cafe's live is full of performance, and Miku-san's vocals are amazing.
Miku: No no no no! You think? (smile)
-And truth. Voice quality, music rhythm, vibrato, etc., are pleasing to the ears. And the attitude of always singing politely throughout the show was also brilliant.
Miku: I always feel that I have to sing politely, and that feeling was even stronger during the January lives. I thought mistakes were unforgivable and I definitely didn't want to forget to express my thoughts. So, as I said before, I wanted to have fun, but above all, I sang with the aim of conveying my feelings. Therefore, it may have become polite music.
-I have the impression that you're the type who doesn't make excuses like "because it's a live show" or "because I got emotional".
Miku: I often point the microphone towards the audience because I want to hear the audience singing. Instead of a call and response, there are places where the audience sings naturally, and I always point the microphone at them, but for this show I didn't think about making them sing. I wanted to sing it all myself, so I didn't let go of the mic.
-As expected. How about the temperature and vibrato of the song?
Miku: When I go to karaoke with my friends, they say my vibrato is really strong (laughs). It's amazing. The most modern karaoke shows the number of vibratos. So I managed to vibrato 90 times in one song (laughs). That's why, after all, the way Visual-kei sings is different from ordinary people.
-You use a lot of vibrato, yet the music doesn't sound weird. Also, the musical instruments are all very talented
Miku: That's right... I guess. We grew up being scolded all the time, we've been with the same members for a long time, and we've all grown little by little, so we don't really understand each other. Because it doesn't sound like a sudden "pan!"
-All, as expected from a veteran artist, Teruki and Kanon in particular have really matured as musicians.
Miku: Everyone's the same! "That's what you said in the interview just now." Hehe, that's right... I think I can sing in a difficult environment.
-It's just speculation, but I think Teruki-san has a lot of drum practice.
Miku: That's right. I had a set of drums at home, so I moved into an environment where I could play whenever I wanted. I'm practicing a lot. No, it's amazing. Teruki-san, I think you wish you were here (smile).
-I would like you to tell me that you learned that you are still practicing stoically (laughs). Kanon also has a wild playing and bass sound.
Miku: I think you'll be happy about it too, so I'll tell you (laughs).
-Please (laughs). In short, An Cafe's concert is really of high quality, with good songs, good singing and performances, a sense of the band and a variety of attractive manners.
Miku: I'm happy. Really... I really want to continue as An Cafe, but it's hard because everyone has their own job. It turns out that An Cafe only has one member.
- It seems like a waste not to be constantly active. Fans flocked from across the country for the January show.
Miku: For those who support us, I only have "thanks for waiting" and "thanks for coming to our live" feelings. AN CAFE took up most of mine. It was like a dream, so I'm really happy to be able to go on stage once again and spend some time dreaming. As I said at the beginning, it is not possible to create this space with just the members. It was a place where there were fans, so I'm filled with gratitude for dreaming again.
-Fans must have been happy to be able to experience AN CAFE live for the first time in a long time, so I would really like you to resume your activities. Next, let's talk about AN CAFE's 20th anniversary. First, how do you feel about the 20th anniversary?
Miku: 20 years seems like a long time, but it was too short. It's been a while, 20 years. 20 years has been so much fun, so fast, and I feel like I've aged so fast. I still have vivid memories of the AN CAFE I was at as a teenager, so I feel like it got twisted in an instant.
-I understand that you have been doing a satisfactory activity. I think there have been ups and downs with the suspension of activities several times, but it's amazing that you've gotten through it and continued for 20 years.
Miku: I think so too. I feel like the fact that it went on for so long is probably down to dating. It's the members, the fans, the staff, the media and I feel like our lives are blessed. I feel that I am alive because I have wonderful people around me.
-I think the reason wonderful people get together is because we are those people. Is there any secret why you guys have been with the same members for so long?
Miku: What's going on? The members are very close to each other, but I don't feel like everyone decides everything together, and I think that kind of environment is good. Even if you have a lot of brains, you can't have a working band or crew. All you need is one person to show you the guidelines, and in that regard, I think AN CAFE is ideal.
~ x ~
to be continued...
#AN CAFE#Antic cafe#Miku An Cafe#An Cafe translate#An Cafe Interview#Clubzy#vkei#visual kei#jrock#jpop#nyappy#cafekko
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the fact that otto is still with grace makes me wonder what kind of person he really is. like he seems quite sweet and kind but tbh without him having social media or knowing him personally, it's kind of hard to know for sure. and i really cannot imagine he can't see past grace's bad behaviour so maybe it just doesn't bother him as much as we would expect? idk its just wild to me that they could be together for the better part of a decade and for otto to still put up with her behaviour if he had an issue with it? truly a mystery
i have done more deep mindbendingly philosophical thinking on this subject than plato and socrates and descartes and kant all put together dude. i cant figure out a way it makes sense. all my theories are only 3/4 formed at best.
my working theory is: hes a loyal and dedicated romantic partner who doesnt feel like he can up and leave, and grace reinforces this with her penchant for manipulation and guilt tripping to get what she wants. and she CANNOT lose the parx connection (in her mind) bc shes built her entire brand and frankly personality on it. so she will do whatever it takes to keep otto dating her and shes repeatedly demonstrated a complete lack of shame self-reflection or remorse so “whatever it takes” could be……. pretty bad. otto also probably doesnt feel like he can leave her bc grace has essentially no family and barely any friends, plus hes already enmeshed her into his immediate family, and i speak from experience when i say how difficult it is to pry a partner out of your family especially if theyre pitiful, ESPECIALLY if your family is really nice.
also, a lot of graces bad behavior is only catalogued online where otto cant see it, so whatever story she wants to feed him (“people are sooo mean to me for no reason!” “people hate our relationship for no reason!” “people are mad at me and i didnt do anything wrong!”) he really has zero way to fact check or even get any context for. he doesnt see the things she says about him online, or the fights she has with specific parx fans where she threatens to make otto hate them for “being mean” to her. LMAO. he only has how she treats him to go off of and if she says that using him like an atm or a trophy or an item is normal then who is he to argue really?
none of us know otto and he doesnt have social media so we have precious little info about who he is as a person….. but like, theres no way all the interviews and all the casual candid vids of him and all the testimonials from ppl who DO know him could just be fake? so what is it with this ONE thing. and maybe he DOESNT tolerate or like her behavior and we just dont see the fights or his misery, its not like shed ever show us. lol. i hope they never get married
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Ahh I didn't know that! I knew he was a bit boring as the lads make fun of him for having 'no chat' but I guess you're not expected too growing up looking like that! But yeh dim too it seems 👀 I never liked him and his wife sharing videos of his brothers/friends using foul language around their daughter and thinking it funny...? Now i'm no stranger to swearing but being *that* vulgar around a little kid and then sharing it online?! Not for me I'm afraid...🥴
I LOVE JOE!!! I've loved him since the 2021 South Africa test! Think he was treated poorly by Eddie and has never gotten enough credit for how good he actually is! Also guitar-ing with Fred 🥺💕 But yeh he seems like an absolute sweetheart! Same with the other JOE!!
DK's new follows are......interesting 👀 and Fred has unfollowed 2 but no idea who......and *she* also got rid of a tonne earlier....these kids I swearrrrr
Can they just be like Marcus please who is clearly devoted to Beth and barely has a single other girl in his following list?? 😂🙈😭
Omg I was finishing to write you just to say DK follows !!!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Omg that picture of his girl in the shower makes me really uncomfortable and I have seen it a lot as megan posted it on stories and on publications... It is not cute. It is forgetting there is pedo bears all around.
And yeah I really like that we have an illustration of what it is like to be diabetic for an athlete but uuuuughh sladey I cannot. I was also a bit uuuggh to see very not well woken up Jack behind him looking at food in a strange way :/ since I know about his TCA and sees him always around food in different vlogs (that amount of ketchup was something in the australia one) I am worried for my BaBey.
So sladey 🗑
Henry 🍞
Joe 💖 they were adorable doing their little medley ♡ I want a vlog on Fred tho to see if he is roommate with Jack or it is again 🍞hoping for Ollie to sleep there and be with Jack to put him down to earth.
I miss Cam :( ...Maybe all along he was the only one deserving full love. My frankenstein giant ♡ (still wonders what happened to him to have such scars)
Oh noooo 🙃🙃 can we not have confirmation I am in denial. I need denial. Imagine he says my gf in interview 😑😩 denial. Please FRED..
I am not really fan of barcus ship but I must admit he is in adoration in front of her.. Jack Willis ??? No.. anyone ??? They look so cute as a power couple and him taking french lessons ♡ mmmmh... I have questions around Guy Porter. 🤔 I know he went wild at some point... I have questions
but also he appears not a lot even next to our booboo the fools at camp...
DK is clearly being labelled dkhead forever I am sorry..
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Accidental Valentine
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This is my fic for The Citrus Dome Server Lover’s Day Literature Collab! Please go check out The Masterlist and support all of the amazing artists and writers that have contributed.🖤
A/N: WHEW guys... I don’t think I’ve put this much work into a fic EVER. I’ve been feeling pretty bad about my body and wanted to write a reader who struggled with it as well. Who better to boost your confidence than DILF Kiri feeding your praise kink?! I was heavily influenced by this amazing drabble by @rat-suki and got permission to use it as my inspiration for this fic.🖤 (for reference, reader is 30 and Kirishima is 42)
Thanks to @afictionalwhore and my dear friend Orchid for the beta read!🖤
RetiredProHero!Kirishima x YoungerF!Reader
Word Count: 5.3k
TW: size difference, oral (both receiving), daddy kink, praise kink (lots and lots of praise), TBH the sex is pretty vanilla but very passionate, both are insecure about their bodies.
When you trudged into work this morning, you didn’t ever dream of meeting your childhood idol/crush, but here you are, staring up at a beautiful mountain of a man. Eijiro Kirishima, or retired pro hero Red Riot, had never come into your coffee shop before and you’d never imagined he would. He was huge. Nearly 7 ft tall and built like a brick house. His hair was back to his natural black with flecks of silver at his temples and hung long and wild around his shoulders. He had on a pair of glasses and wore a dark maroon sweater and jeans.
Even though he’s aged, he looks just as handsome as the young man you fell for as a girl.
The year he made his debut, you were only six, and like most other six-year-olds, you idolized the pro heroes. Most of your friends loved Deku or Dynamite, but you always loved Red Riot. His smile, warmth, and his fiercely protective nature made your tiny heart burst with admiration. Throughout his hero career, you kept up with all of his interviews, the battles he’d been in, the awards he’d won, and his hero rankings. You’d also gotten as much merch as possible over the years and still wore your worn-out, oversized Red Riot t-shirt to sleep in. When he retired a couple of years ago, you still scanned articles online trying to gather bits and pieces of information about the hero, but he wasn’t one to seek out the spotlight. You think that’s probably why he’d always been your favorite. He was a true hero. Serving the citizens and keeping them safe was his top priority. You didn’t want to admit it, but you kept up with him for one main reason… You wanted to know if he was seeing anyone.
You remember being eaten up with jealousy when you’d see his arm around another woman going to galas and award ceremonies. Your sixteen-year-old brain knew that of course, he’d date women. He was a grown man and a pro hero. But your heart would ache, wanting to be the one his soft eyes and pointy-toothed grin was fixed on.
Now those same eyes were fixed on you, his mouth moving and forming words, but you were too star-struck to hear what he was saying. When you snapped out of your daze and remembered you were supposed to be taking his order, you were mortified.
“I-I’m so sorry sir! Could you please repeat that?”
“Sure thing!” his bright smile was hypnotizing, “Just a venti-sized flat white. Have you had your coffee yet? Ya looked a little far away there for a second, kid.”
Your heart leaped at the little nickname. “Yeah, sorry about that! I guess I should get a couple of shots of espresso in me before I try to be productive.” You chuckle nervously as you scribble his order on the cup and turn to make his drink.
“Oh, uhh…” he peeks around the counter to get your attention, “Do you need my name? For the order?”
You freeze realizing you forgot basic, barista 101 etiquette…
“Actually,” you face him, a sheepish grin on your face, avoiding eye contact, “I know your name. You… umm, were my favorite hero,” you blush, and your eyes widen in embarrassment, “you know when I was a kid...”
You turn back to your work, kicking yourself for being so awkward.
“Really? I think you’re the first person to recognize me since ya know,” he circled his head with his pointer finger, “I stopped dying my hair..”
You turned your head to peer up at him through your dark lashes, a light dusting of blush still on your cheeks, “Well, I like it. It looks good on you.”
The retired pro’s heart was bursting at how damned cute you were. Was this pretty, young girl… embarrassed? Over him?! He watched your tiny hands move as they worked on his drink order, wondering how small they’d feel grasped in his massive ones. Your soft hair caught in the sunlight making you look like a literal angel and he sighed. You reached up to grab a canister from the top shelf and a sliver of soft skin between your t-shirt and jeans peeked through. His gaze became far away and he damn near drooled at the sight. Just how long had it been since he’d touched another woman? Kirishima wasn’t one for casual flings. He always got too invested in whoever he was seeing. So when he and his long-time girlfriend broke things off a couple of years ago, he wasn’t rushing back into the dating scene.
However, things were a little more… complicated than just not finding the right girl to commit to. He was getting older and it was starting to show. Over the past few years, he’d lost his confidence. He’s bulkier around the middle no matter what workouts or diets he tries. Overuse of his quirk has caused stretchmarks and scars all over his skin. He was starting to get crow’s feet and he was overall just TOO big and TOO hairy. He felt like some sort of gorilla walking around in human clothing. Kirishima isn’t stupid or trying to fool himself. A young, gorgeous thing like you wasn’t looking for anything from an old, washed-up man like him. But, fuck… It was nearly impossible for him to move his gaze away from your ass… Oh, the things he’d do to you if he were a few years younger...
You turned to look over your shoulder and notice his gaze… and it’s apparent that he’s checking you out. He looks like a man starved, eyes glued to your ass.
“Well, well, well… maybe he wasn’t so annoyed with my fangirling after all.”
When he realized you’d gone still, his eyes met yours and he quickly averted his gaze. His cheeks turned as red as his hair used to be. You busied yourself with the milk steamer to hide your big, goofy grin. With a new burst of confidence, you decide to take a chance and when you go to write his name on his to-go cup, you write
“Big Red <3”
You pause, bite your lip, and think to yourself, “why the hell not?” as you scribble your number underneath the nickname. You turn to give him his drink and your nerves almost make you retreat and make a whole new drink. Then he meets your gaze and your world stops spinning. His vermillion eyes crinkle at the edges as his scared lips turn upwards into a syrupy sweet smile.
When Kirishima takes his drink from you, your fingers brush his for the briefest second and he can tell they’re trembling. “Oh no, I hope I haven’t made her nervous or uncomfortable.” He wanted to go crawl in a hole… That was until he saw what you’d written on his cup.
He stammers, looking from the cup to your face like he’s checking to see if you’re pulling a prank on him or not. Before he can say anything, you bite your lip and look up at him.
“I’m off work this Sunday. Just… if you’d like to hang out or something.” your gaze shifts and you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
After a moment or two, his face lights up in a huge grin. “Y-yeah, great!” he turns and walks a few steps, then turns around and motions at the cup, “So… I should just, ahh… text you?”
You giggle and it’s the sweetest sound he’s heard in a long time, “That would be nice, yeah.”
“Okay, great!... Talk later then!” He waves and leaves the coffee shop, feeling light as a feather and ten years younger.
*****
Sunday rolls around and you spend the morning making sure the place is cleaner than it’s been in weeks. Your place was small but cozy. For a fleeting moment, you’re a little insecure about how modest your apartment is. You don’t know exactly how wealthy pros are when they retire, but you know he’s more familiar with much nicer places than yours. You decide he probably knew just what to expect on a barista’s salary and tried to put it out of your mind. You checked on the cookies baking in the oven. When you found out through your text conversations that he loved chocolate chip cookies with the large chunks of dark chocolate baked in, you went out and bought everything to make them the same day. You kept watching over them like a hawk to avoid burning them. They still looked pretty gooey, so you decided it would be safe to get changed into something a little nicer. Just as you were about to turn the corner into your bedroom, your doorbell rang.
“Shit!” you looked at your phone and sure enough, you let time get away from you. He was here and you were still in your cropped leggings and t-shirt, sporting a messy bun and dirty apron. You groaned as you realized you couldn’t leave him on your doorstep while you changed. Defeated, you hurried to the door.
You opened the door, hoping that you at least didn’t have flour in your hair, and looked up into the much larger man’s eyes. The realization that THE Red Riot was standing this close to you made your stomach flutter and a goofy grin slide across your face. While you stood there star-struck, he broke the silence.
“Wow, it smells amazing in here!”
“Oh!” you jumped a little then promptly ran over to your oven, “Sorry! Please come on in!” you said over your shoulder as you were pulling your oven mitts on.
Kirishima walked into your cozy apartment and instantly felt at ease. He couldn’t pinpoint just what it was, but something about your place felt more like home than any place he’d ever lived before. As he finished scanning your apartment, his eyes landed on you taking the cookies out of the oven. The comfortable, domestic feel of the place coupled with your ass on full display as you bent down to remove the cookies from the oven had his jeans tightening. You stood up and he averted his gaze before you turned around, not wanting to get caught checking your ass out for a second time.
“Fair warning, I’m not a talented baker by any means,” you removed your oven mitts after placing the cookie sheets on the cooling rack and flashed a sly grin his way, “But when Red Riot tells you what his favorite cookies are… Ya kinda gotta make them, right?”
Oh… If you only knew how pent up this man was… he debated bending you over right then and there and fucking you until you couldn’t walk. He really hit the jackpot with you… a hot, younger woman with the perfect ass who bakes him cookies and for some reason thinks he hung the moon? Kirishima would have given you a ring right then and there if he didn’t think it would scare you off.
“Well,” he radiated warmth as he looked between you and the cookies cooling on the rack, “If you’re not the sweetest thing! I, ahh… might have gotten you a little something too.” he then held up a 6 pack of your favorite cider. “Because when Y/N, L/N tells you what her favorite cider is… Ya kinda gotta get her some.” he winked and you felt your knees buckle and your cheeks burn. You felt like you were in a fairytale.
Then you remembered that the princesses in fairytales definitely did not wear flour-riddled black leggings, old t-shirts, and dirty aprons.
“OH! Umm, I need to go get cleaned up. I’ll only be a minu-” his massive hand wrapped around your wrist as you walked past him. It covered half of your forearm and a shudder ran through you. You wanted those giant hands to roam every inch of your body.
“Please don’t,” his eyes were half-lidded and his voice was low, “...I think you look beautiful like this.” his calloused thumb traced little circles on your skin not meeting your gaze. His deep voice was impossibly tender.
Now that you’d felt his skin on yours, you couldn’t contain your churning desires any longer. You wanted, needed, more. Rising up on your tiptoes, you curled your fist into Kirishima’s shirt collar and pulled his face toward yours.
You felt him tense up for a moment, then relax into the kiss. His massive hands found purchase on your hips, digging into the pliant flesh there. A needy whimper caught in his throat spurring you on to deepen the kiss.
It was like your bodies were working around each other in perfect harmony… lips parting at a slow pace, like honey dripping from the edge of a spoon and tongues meeting in the middle to taste each other. You both savored the kiss for as long as you could, eyes lazily drifting open and shared breaths causing your hearts to dance out of your chests.
You saw him falter, his gaze dropping, and you feared that you overstepped.
“Kirishima I-“
“Ejiro,” he stopped you with a hand against your cheek, “Call me Eijiro…” his thumb caressed your bottom lip slowly, back and forth. His touch held so much devotion in it.
“Eijiro…” you sighed, looking up at him with pleading eyes, “I need you…”
The giant of a man before you swept you up into his arms and began walking down your hallway. You quickly wrapped your arms and legs around his hulking frame as if you were climbing a tree.
“Second door on the right,” you were panting into his neck, leaving sloppy kisses all over it.
You blew a cool stream of air along his damp skin and felt him shudder. A giggle bubbled up from your chest at being able to weaken a retired pro-hero known for being a human shield against the worst villains Japan has ever known. Your little stunt resulted in a grunt and a firm, warning squeeze to your thigh.
“So that’s what we’re doing today, huh?” he tosses you on the bed just hard enough to make you bounce up a little… then he’s on you, placing light kisses all along your neck as he prods your sides looking for a ticklish spot. You can’t remember the last time you laughed this hard and the fact that it was your idol drawing it from you made you dizzy with joy.
“Mercy! Mercy!” you were breathless and your abdomen ached from the forceful laughs Ejiro was pulling from you. He blew a raspberry on your neck as a final tease then relented, sitting up to meet your gaze.
You were absolutely smitten. You caressed the lines around his eyes and the scar that split his lips as your eyes roamed across his features. Every crease, every scar… you wanted to kiss them all. When his gaze faltered and he pulled away to sit beside you on the bed, the feeling you’d done something wrong resurfaced. You sat up beside him and placed your hand on his thigh.
“Eijiro…” your voice was barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry, I know I can come on a little strong sometimes, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just…” your eyes meet and his gaze is unreadable.
“No, no…” his ruby eyes drop to the floor, “It’s just that,” he chuckles nervously, “Well, it’s been a while. I’m not very good with casual flings and the like. So I don’t really date much…”
You rise to your feet and move to stand in front of him. Sitting in front of you on your bed, you’re only slightly below eye level with him. You place your tiny hands on his thick thighs and nudge them apart so you can slot your hips between them.
“When I told you that you were my favorite hero,” you reach for his wrist and remove the hair tie from it, “What that actually meant was that I’d watch the news every day just to make sure you were safe.”
Slender fingers move through his wild mane of silver-flecked hair untangling any knots, “It meant that when that villain with the sludge quirk put you in the hospital for a couple of days, my mom let me stay home from school because I was so distraught,” you pulled all of his untangled hair to the nape of his neck and began wrapping the hair tie around it.
“It meant that my silly sixteen-year-old heart would ache when I saw you hand in hand with a girl in a magazine going out on a date,” you grinned at how silly you felt admitting that. Once his hair was secured in a low ponytail, your hands trailed along his broad shoulders.
“Now that I’ve thoroughly embarrassed myself, I’ll get to the point.” your intense gaze held years of longing for the hero in front of you, “Nothing about this is casual for me.”
Tears pricked the corners of Kirishima’s eyes. Had anyone ever showed him this much tender devotion? All the years he’d taken beating after beating, a glorified human shield, content with leaving most of the game to his friends. He was all rough edges and bulk. He was the one doing the protecting every time. Even in his romantic relationships, he was the one who would give, and give, and give… never asking or expecting to be taken care of. Being handled with such care was utterly foreign to him and it stirred up a deep need he never knew was there.
“Eji…” his glassy eyes met yours, “Can I take care of you?” you sank to your knees, hands sliding up his thighs.
“Please…”
Your hands made quick work of his button and zipper. He shifted his hips upwards to help you ease his jeans down his thick thighs and you pulled his jeans and boxers down in one slow pull. Nothing would have prepared you for just how huge he was. Your eyes widened for a fraction of a second, wondering how you’d get that thing to fit inside your cunt, much less your mouth… but it was something you were eager to find out.
Looking up at him from under your dark lashes, you made a show of lewdly licking your lips. You flattened your tongue and drug the wet muscle from his base right above his neatly trimmed patch of black hair, all the way to the swollen, red tip of his head. You felt the powerful muscles in his thighs clench as his head rolled back and a delicious moan escaped his open mouth. Making your hero come undone with one lick to his cock was intoxicating.
“Fuck, baby…” Kirishima fisted the sheets praying he wouldn’t come just from your teasing. He’s not sure his pride could handle it. It became a very real threat when he dared to look down at you kissing and licking all up and down his length. Once your mouth had gotten him wet enough, your soft hands joined your warm mouth in worshiping his cock. You met his gaze as you kissed his tip and licked up the pre that was escaping in pearlescent beads. When you had teased him to your contentment, you swallowed him down as deep as your throat would allow, wrapped your hand around his base, and moaned.
Kirishima had many blowjobs in his life. In fact, he’d had some that he would say were pretty amazing… but in all his adult life, he’d never been so thoroughly and enthusiastically devoured like this. He threaded his fingers of one hand in your loose bun and fisted your bed sheets in his other to ground himself. After a minute or two, he felt his release creeping up much faster than he wanted.
He placed his hands on either side of your face causing you to stop bobbing your head and look up at him. He ran his thumb against your swollen bottom lip and you leaned into his tender touch. He bends forward and places a kiss on the top of your head.
“Lay down on the bed,” he whispers into your hair. Nerves starting to catch up to you, you shook slightly as you stood from your spot on the floor. Before you lay down, you remember to take your apron off then lay on your pillows, heart pounding awaiting further instruction.
Kirishima hovers over you reminding you yet again just how tiny you are compared to him. His warm hand covers your knee and slowly travels up your thigh, stopping right before he meets your throbbing core. He runs his hand back down your thigh to gently nudge your knees apart. Leaning on his forearms, he positions himself between your thighs and you gasp at the friction created where your bodies meet. While planting tender kisses on your neck, he whispers, “I need you to promise that you’ll tell me if I need to stop or if something doesn’t feel okay. Can you do that?”
“Y-yes…” you moan as he nibbles on your earlobe, teasing with his sharp teeth but not breaking your skin.
“Mmm,” he places sweet kisses all along your jaw, your breath catching in your throat, “Good girl.”
Receiving praise from him made your chest swell. You wanted nothing more than to please this man you were rapidly falling for. He sat up, legs folded under his body, and slowly slid his hands under the hem of your oversized t-shirt. You felt his hands still on your stomach and looked up from where you were laying on your pillows to see what had made him freeze.
He met your gaze with a devilish grin, “Baby girl…” his thumbs run small circles on your skin, “Did you wear this for me?”
When you realize what he’s talking about, you hide your face and groan into your hands. You completely forgot that you were still in your old Red Riot t-shirt that you usually slept in. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing!” you mumbled behind your palms.
Kirishima chuckled and shushed you, “No, no, no… This is the sexiest thing you could have possibly worn.” He pulls the hem of your t-shirt up to expose your tummy, burying his face in the soft skin there. Gentle kisses were placed all along the waistline of your leggings, every squishy part and every little stretchmark that decorated your skin like tiny spiderwebs were lovingly caressed with his plush lips. Having the part of your body you were the most self-conscious of worshiped like this felt more vulnerable than sex.
As the kisses traveled higher, they became sloppier and more desperate. You lifted your arms to allow him to remove your shirt, exposing your plain white cotton bra. The feel of his stubble against your skin as he moaned into your cleavage sent shivers down your body. Instead of paying attention to your neglected nipples, his warm mouth carved a path up the column of your throat, head thrown back to give him as much access as possible.
Kirishima whispered against the tender skin under your earlobe, “This okay, baby?” two large fingers dip into the front of your leggings. You nod enthusiastically, unable to form a coherent answer, “Mmm… I need words, sweet thing. You can do that for me, can’t you?”
“Yes… it’s more than okay,” your chests are touching as he works his hand down the front of your pants.
When Kirishima’s thick fingers slid between your drenched folds, you arched your back and grasped his forearm. Slowly, he spread your slick around, dancing past your clit with each stroke. His teasing was turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him.
He had all the time in the world and having you melt underneath his touch was the best way he could hope to spend it. After what felt like an eternity of him gently brushing against you, only slightly dipping into your needy hole and barely grazing your clit, you were openly panting and whining. A steady stream of praises flowed from his lips.
“You’re such a pretty girl… such a pretty little pussy.”
“Look at how wet you are for me. Like this, huh? My pretty girl likes my fingers teasing her?”
“I can’t wait to lick my fingers clean. You’re gonna taste so sweet.”
You were so worked up that tears began to form in your eyes, “Eji… I-“
“Hmm? What is it, baby girl? Need something?” His finger drags around your clit slowly, adding a fraction more pressure.
“Please, I need more Eji,” your nails digging into his forearm were leaving little crescents in his thick skin.
“Sweet girl,” he meets your mouth with a slow, wet kiss, “you can have whatever you want.”
Without hesitation, he sits up and pulls your leggings down with your panties. A groan rattles his large chest when he sees a thread of your slick attached to the crotch. Once his face is buried in between your thighs, it’s a real possibility he might come just from eating you out.
All the teasing had brought him to the edge as well and he was out of patience. With a few hurried kisses to each thigh, he dove into your dripping cleft. His tongue plunged into your core as he nudged his nose into your puffy clit.
You cry out and convulse around his face. His arms wrap around your thighs, firmly but gently holding your legs open to give him full access to eat you as thoroughly as possible. When he moves to suck your clit, you know you won’t last much longer. As he nurses on your sensitive nub, you feel the familiar tightening in your lower body. He picks up on this and moans into your skin as he greedily sucks.
“Ahh… Ahh, I’m- I’m gonna….”
“Oh that’s it,” he encourages you by praising you and massaging your thighs in his massive hands, “let me have it, baby girl. Come on, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”
Your toes curl and back arches as you’re thrown over the edge. “Oh FUCK!! Coming, coming…. ooooh god… ahh D-daddy!…”
“Daddy, is it? Goddamn”
Kirishima felt his dick twitch and his breath caught in his throat.
He wipes his face on the back of his hands and makes a show of licking his fingers clean as he leans over you, nose touching yours.
“What was that baby?” His voice was strained as he pressed his dick into the warm, damp skin of your thigh…
You bat your lashes and ghost your lips over his as you whisper, “Daddy… please let me ride you. I need you inside me.” The nail in Kirishima’s coffin was when you licked his bottom lip then quickly followed with a chaste kiss.
You waste no time wrapping your thighs around his waist and twisting. He follows your lead and lays flat on his back letting you straddle him. You grab the hem of his shirt and similarly tease him, leaving a trail of kisses along his broad stomach. Kirishima flinches a little, self-conscious of his skin and how soft his middle had gotten over the years. You meet his eyes as you pull his shirt over his broad shoulders and run your hands back down his body.
“Mmm, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” hands and eyes roamed over the expanse of skin in front of you, “It’s even better than in my dreams.”
He wondered for the hundredth time how got this lucky. You really loved his body? Maybe… maybe he wasn’t in as bad of shape as he thought…
“No,” his hands rubbed your hips, kneading your soft skin, “You’re better than I’d ever hoped to find.” He sits upon the headboard and pulls you closer into his lap, “Now,” he pulls your hair free of the messy bun, “Can you be a good girl and come on my cock?”
You lift your hips and place his tip at your entrance. That alone caused a delicious stretch and you knew it would be a slow process getting him to fit comfortably.
“Yes, Daddy,” your hands wrapped around his neck and he growled as he pulled you into a rough kiss.
“Good fuckin girl.”
He helped lower you onto his cock with lots of kisses, praises, and gentle squeezes. When you got closer to his base, the pain was too much for a moment. Kirishima used his thumb to rub circles into your clit, shushing you sweetly against your parted mouth.
“Are you okay, baby?” He brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead with his free hand while his other is still working your clit over.
“Yes, Daddy,” you whisper, “You fill me up so well. I love your massive cock filling me up.”
“You’re gonna make me crazy, you know that? Huh?” He pulls your lower lip into his mouth and sucks. You both sit for a while, exchanging kisses and whispers while you adjust to his girth.
“Are you ready to move now, sweet girl?”
“Yes, Daddy…” he helps you move, dragging your hips up and down his shaft.
After a few deep thrusts, you both increase your pace, matching each other’s movements. It’s not long before your head is thrown back, tears escaping the corners of your eyes. Loud moans and curses escape your mouth as one nipple is pulled into Kirishima’s mouth.
“Oh, Daddy! Fuck, fuck! Right there, right there… I… I’m… AHH!” Before you can even say anything, you’ve come undone, spasming around his cock.
“Oh, good girl, good fuckin girl,” you go limp and bury your face into his neck while he slams your hips onto his, chasing his release. The feeling of him using your body to get off makes you dizzy with joy. You lean into his ear whispering, “Please come inside me. Wanna feel you come inside me, Daddy… please, need your come inside me, Daddy.”
Your slurred pleas against his ear send him over the edge into a mind-numbing orgasm. As he comes down from his high and looks into your face full of adoration, he knows he’s caught… hook, line, and sinker.
*****
The rest of the evening is spent eating cookies on your couch, drinking cider, and watching your favorite crime drama. The sweet kisses and touches sprinkled throughout the night feel so natural… Like you’ve been together for years instead of hours.
You end up with Kirishima’s head in your lap, running your fingers through his hair as he closes his eyes and relaxes into your touch. The clock on your wall reads 12:30 am and it dawns on you what day it officially is.
“Eji?”
“Hmm?” He opens one eye and reaches up to scratch your scalp.
“Will you be my valentine?” You bite your bottom lip to stifle a silly grin.
He sits up and pulls you into a bear hug.
“What kinda silly question is that? Of course. I don’t ever want another valentine besides you.”
Your heart explodes and you kiss him, grabbing his cheeks in both hands.
“Sixteen-year-old me is absolutely losing her shit right now,” you giggle, rubbing his nose with yours.
“Well,” he grabs your ass and raises an eyebrow, “Forty-two-year-old me is losing his shit right now over finding such a sweet girl with such a sweet ass on her,” he nips at your neck and you squeal.
“Ooh, you ready for another round, old man?”
He growls and throws you over his shoulder. A swift spank to your ass causes you to burst into a fit of laughter.
“Oh, so I’m dealing with a brat now? You want me to show you what this old man does to little brats?” He squeezes your thighs as he makes his way to the bedroom.
“But I’m your good girl! Remember?!”
“Yeah, yeah… We’ll see about that.”
#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#bnha smut#kirishima eijirou x reader#kirishima x reader#eijirou kirishima#kirishima smut#dilf!kiri#tw praise kink#tw daddy kink#vanilla#body insecurity tw#jade writes smut
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Crushing - Harry Styles
a/n: just a little something that was inspired by a tiktok and @pastequeharry !
pairing: Harry X Famous!Reader
word count: 2.2k
masterlist
“Welcome back, I hope has everyone returned from our little break because we are playing a fun little game with Y/N, who by the way won a Grammy award for best new artist this weekend, so congratulations on that!”
Ellen smiles at you widely as she claps along with the audience and you’re just smiling shyly, still not quite used to the sound of it.
“Thank you,” you nod looking around.
“Okay, we are going to play a round of who’d you rather. Are you familiar with the game?” she asks you.
“Yes, I’ve seen others play it before.”
“Great. For those who don’t know the game, two people will show up on the screen and Y/N will have to choose one. Whoever she chooses will come with us to the next round and at the end we’ll know who is her ultimate crush.”
“Ah man,” you huff, feeling a little nervous about who they are gonna show you and the audience laughs at your reaction as your fingers dig into the armrest of the armchair you’re sitting comfortably in.
“Are you ready?” Ellen questions with a smile that tells you just how much she is enjoying this.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be, but let’s get started,” you chuckle nervously.
“Okay, let’s see our first pair,” she starts and two pictures show up on the big screen and on the smaller one at the front of the stage so you don’t have to crane your neck. “So we have Zendaya and Tom Holland. Who are you choosing?”
“You really had to start with two of my biggest Marvel crushes?!” you whine and the audience starts laughing again as you chew on your bottom lip, trying to decide. “I love them both, but I’m gonna have to go with Zendaya, because in height, we would be better. I’m sorry Tom, I still love you!” you declare, looking around all cameras, hoping they all got your confession.
“Alright. So now we’ll keep Zendaya and move on to the next person, who is… Harry Styles. Zendaya or Harry Styles?”
The blood rushes out of your face as you see a picture of Harry, memories of the two of you meeting at the award show in the weekend flooding back to your mind. Harry has been a crush of yours since probably forever. You’ve been a fan of his since his One Direction days and your career started to take off sometime around the time he started his solo career, only difference is that it took you a little longer to earn yourself a name in the industry. But this weekend you finally met him for the first time, in real life, without you just watching him on the stage with four other men.
You spotted him at the area that led to the red carpet, he was about to step out when his eyes laid on you and though he was wearing a mask, you still knew he was smiling from the little wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. Your breath caught in your throat, stopping in your track as you were holding up your gown so you wouldn’t trip and fall with all the cameras around.
“Y/N! Hi!” he greeted you stepping closer, as if the two of you were old friends.
“Hi!” you managed to speak up, feeling completely starstruck.
“Love the gown! You look wonderful!” he complimented you and you could feel your cheeks heating up so fast.
“Oh, thank you, but I think you’re stealing the show with the boas,” you chuckled making him laugh as well.
“Thank you. Congrats on the nomination, I really hope you win by the way.”
“You do?”
“Of course. Listened to the album, it’s really good,” he nodded and your heart skipped a beat. Harry Styles listened to your album and he liked it? This must be Heaven, but when did you die?
“Thank you so much! I hope you win too, though your chances are better with your three nominations,” you joked making him laugh again.
“Yeah, just a little,” he nodded. “Here, let me help you.” He offered you his arm helping you step up the few steps that lead to the area where the red carpet photos were taken and you were thankful for the help, though you could already hear all the camera’s clicking in your way and you knew the photos would be all over the internet by the next day.
You only met one more time during the evening and you could only congratulate to each other on the wins before you both were snatched away, but you still play your conversation with him in your head before you go to bed in the evening.
“Um, Zendaya is everything but I’m gonna play this game honestly so I’ll choose Harry.”
The audience starts cheering and clapping at the decision as Ellen smirks at you, nodding along.
“No need to be shy, we all have a crush on Harry probably,” she jokes making you laugh. “Okay, next up we have… Harry Styles and The Weeknd.”
“I’m gonna stick to Harry,” you answer probably a little too fast, but if you’re being honest, they can’t show you anyone at this point who would beat Harry.
“Harry stays, next we have Harry and… Florence Pugh.”
“You guys made sure to make it hard for me!” you chuckle staring at the screen. “But I’m still gonna stick to Harry, though I love them both.”
“Alright, for the next round we have Harry Styles and Niall Horan.”
“I’m upset, because as a One Direction fan, I should not be forced to choose between them,” you point at Ellen, giving her a hard look which the audience finds quite hilarious.
“I’m sure you had ranked them before, don’t be shy,” she smirks and you sigh rolling your eyes.
“Okay, no offence to anyone but Harry stays. Sorry Niall, I still love you though,” you add with a smile.
“Harry is in a winning streak, it seems. Okay, let’s see his next opponent. Harry against Chris Evans.”
“Harry,” you answer with a sigh, crossing your legs, knowing well you will not choose anyone over Harry.
“Fast answer, great. Harry Styles or Ariana Grande.”
“Love Ariana, she’s a queen, but Harry,” you answer with a smile, the audience enjoying your obsession over Harry Styles and at this point you are not even trying to hide it.
“Harry Styles or Henry Cavill?”
“Harry,” you answer right away.
Henry’s picture disappears and Harry’s moves to the middle as the game comes to its end.
“Seems like we have a winner here. Harry Styles beat everyone!” Ellen chuckles as you glance at the big screen, blushing a little, but you are hoping your makeup is covering it well.
“You said it yourself, everyone has a crush on him,” you shrug, trying to play it cool.
“Yes, but not everyone was helped out by him,” she smirks as a photo of the two of you appears on the screen from last weekend and you cover your face with your hands as the audience goes wild.
“He is a gentleman,” you sigh dreamily.
“He really is and I have to say that the two of you look great together.”
“Oh stop it,” you chuckle, playing it over a little, just to make it less obvious how giddy even the thought makes you.
“Well, now we know that he is your number one choice, hopefully he’ll take the next step,” Ellen chuckles before moving on and asking you a few more questions as part of your appearance on the show.
Weeks go by and you kind of forget about the whole interview. It blows up the next few days, but nothing really happens, people just get excited that you are crushing on Harry just like everyone else, but it dies down pretty quickly.
You barely recovered from your Grammy win and yet you are already marching towards another milestone in your career. None other than Gucci asked you to be part of their new campaign in an amazing photoshoot and you just couldn’t say no, not that you ever even thought about it. After some online meetings and sending emails back and forth the first fitting’s day has finally arrived and you are buzzing!
Heading down to the showroom to go over every outfit they want you to wear for the photos, you can’t wipe the excited grin off your face. Growing up you could only dream about owning anything Gucci, now you are going to be promoting them so it truly is a dream come true.
Arriving you are walked into the showroom that is now filled with racks of clothes and there’s a podium with three mirrors surrounding it for the fitting.
“Y/N! Hi! So nice to finally meet you after all the emails and calls!” Nancy, the creative director of the campaign greets you.
“Nice to meet you too!”
“We are in a little bit of delay, I’m very sorry about that, but we can start in about ten minutes, if that’s alright with you.”
“Oh, no worries. I’m free all day,” you assure her before she thanks your patience and runs off to finish off whatever she was doing before.
Wandering around you take a look at the beautiful clothes on the racks, blown by basically everything you see and you can’t wait to wear the outfits that were meant for you. In the back of the room, a part is closed off for a changing area and you hear the door opening as Nancy walks out first, talking to someone following her behind and when you see the person, you freeze.
Harry Styles walks out, wearing a just a shirt and jeans, looking very casual but still, unbelievably hot. The man could wear a potato sack and still look better than any other men.
“Thank you so much,” he smiles at Nancy before his eyes lay on you, a wide smirk tugging on his lips in realization. “So nice to see a familiar face!” he beams, walking closer before he pulls you in for a short hug that catches you by surprise, but also warms your chest.
“Hi, didn’t expect to see you here, though you are kind of one with the brand at this point,” you tease him making him laugh.
“I am, yeah. I heard that you would be featured in the campaign as well. Amazing choice,” he smirks, glancing over at Nancy who smiles proudly, clearly agreeing with him.
“Y/N, I’ll get the changing room ready for you and we can start in five, alright?” Nancy informs you.
“Yeah, thank you!” You nod in her way and she is already off to do the work, leaving you and Harry alone.
“So, I learned some interesting information the other day,” he hums with a serious face and he got you curious about what it could be.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm, you know, I was watching The Ellen Show and you were on, playing a little game.”
“Oh my God,” you breathe out, already feeling the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks. Harry smirks down at you, clearly enjoying that he got you so nervous and embarrassed of what happened.
“I wish I knew about your little crush earlier!” he teases you, making your groan.
“And why is that? So you could pull my leg at the Grammy’s when I was already shitting my pants?”
Harry lets out a chuckle shaking his head as he hides his hands in his pockets, his eyes running up and down your figure before they meet with your gaze again.
“No. Because then I wouldn’t have talked myself down from asking for your number.”
You can’t help the stunned reaction that takes over your face at his blunt flirting, your lips part as your eyebrows shoot up while Harry just stares back at you with a sly smirk on his deliciously pink lips.
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yeah, but now that I know that you are crushing on me just like I’m crushing on you, I think it’s time to make the first step. So…” he pulls his phone out and hands it over to you and continues while you type your number in. “I’m not just asking for your number, but I happened to hear that you have nothing else planned for the day, is that true?”
“It is,” you nod, feeling out of breath as you hand him back his phone, your number saved in his contacts.
“Then how about grabbing lunch after your fitting? I happen to have nothing today as well, we should take advantage of it,” he suggests and you can’t push your stunned smile down.
“Sounds good,” you nod, biting into your bottom lip.
“Great. I’ll run some errands while you are here and I’ll be back in about an hour.”
“You could stay here if you want, I don’t mind it,” you tell him, feeling like he is only leaving because he doesn’t want to intrude.
“I would love to, but I really want to see the final outcome of the campaign and not spoil it for myself,” he smirks making you chuckle.
“Alright. Then see you in an hour.”
“Yeah,” he nods with a boyish smirk before turning around and walking out of the showroom.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!
#harry#styles#harry styles#harry styles fluff#harry styles blurb#harry styles oneshot#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagine#harry styles au#harry styles x you#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n
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Flying High, Falling Fast
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; fingering, oral, fucking, subtle creep factor, deceptive charm, the usual fare you know
This is dark!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Synopsis: You meet the new Captain America at an event and impress him with your homemade project, but his interest is more than friendly.
Note: We all need some dark!Sam, right? This is a pretty long one shot, just over 7k words but it was super fun to write a character I don’t get to a lot. But I hope you love him as much as me!
Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
You’d never been to a meet and greet before but it seemed like the perfect opportunity to meet up with Reese. The two of you met a year and a half ago on a Discord server for PC builds and eventually waded through the awkward blank cursors to real conversations. Little updates on new additions to your machines, memes about coding, and the occasional gaming session. He became a stalwart in your mostly solitary existence between work and your empty private life.
It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Reese but you felt safer meeting a stranger from the internet in a public setting. Plus, it was his suggestion. His roommate fell through on attending the event with him and you eagerly accepted the unclaimed ticket. Of course, Reese insisted it was his treat but you made him promise to let you pay for lunch.
Even more exciting, you were going to meet the new Captain America. THE CAPTAIN AMERICA. You wanted to squee but had to play it cool as you waited with Reese in the winding queue.
As exclusive as the meet and greet was, it was stiflingly crowded, even more strenuous as you and Reese tried to adjust your rapport to a face-to-face environment. You mostly ended up chuckling and struggling for some cogent thought.
“What’s in the bag?” Reese asked, finally cracking through the stunted small talk.
“Oh, oh my god, I almost forgot,” you carefully lifted the bag and opened the top to let him peek inside, “I made this last year during lockdown. It’s silly but it was fun.”
He poked his finger around the opening of your drawstring knapsack and his brows rose in surprise. The drone had taken you most of your spare time but you hadn’t yet had a chance to do more than hover it around your bedroom. It was an exact replica, or exact as you could get, of the former Falcon’s Redwing.
“Holy shit! You never mentioned it,” he said.
“Oh, well, I guess… I never thought to. I just spent about an hour or so whenever I could, getting it together. Most of the time was spent on programming,” you closed your bag and let hit hang from your elbow, “and that’s another checkbox on the nerd list.”
“Please, look who you're talking to,” he joked with a snort.
You smiled at him sheepishly and looked ahead of the bodies in front of you as the line shifted forward. He wasn’t exactly disappointing, if anything, he was exactly what you expected. Skinny with black-framed glasses and a bright tee with the Captain’s shield emblazoned across his chest. He wasn’t bad-looking and thankfully not an incel.
“So, uh, you gonna give it to him or something?” Reese asked.
“What-- uh, no, I was hoping he’d sign it actually,” you chewed your lip anxiously, “if I don’t spaz out and just walk away.”
“Right,” he scoffed, “the last time I went to one of these I almost passed out.”
“Oh? Who was it?” you wondered aloud.
“Tony Stark. But I was still in high school,” he explained, “everything else sells out before I get to it. These I got by luck. If David hadn’t swiped them, we’d be standing outside wishing we were in here.”
“I can’t believe he passed on the ticket,” you uttered.
“I’m happy he did,” Reese said, “it made it easier to convince you to meet.”
“Well… we didn’t have to--”
“I’m teasing. Sorry. I’m not very… experienced at this,” he fidgeted.
“It’s fine,” you shrugged as you moved with the line, “I’m just nervous about meeting Captain America, you know? You’re not as intimidating… but I like that.”
“Uh, thanks,” he laughed as you got closer to the table and fidgeted with the straps of your bag. You were almost there.
You stepped up when the people ahead of you cleared away and you couldn’t help but stare at Bucky Barnes’ metal hand as he signed Reese’s special edition Blip magazine. He cleared his throat and you looked the Winter Soldier in the face.
“Oh, sorry,” you slid the poster you got from the shop on the way in onto the table and he unrolled it and signed. You tried really hard not to focus on his hand, you were so curious as to how it all worked. “Thank you.”
He smiled through tight lips and said, “your welcome” before you sidled down to Sam Wilson as you rolled up your poster.
“Don’t worry about him,” Sam said, “he hates these things. I can’t take him anywhere.”
His laughter received a sharp look from the super soldier. Sam took Reese’s magazine and asked his name. You were too lost in thought to answer when he asked for yours. You coughed and sputtered as you tried to remember and Reese answered for you, adding that you were nervous.
“I, uh, oh,” you lifted your bag, “I was hoping, maybe, you might sign this instead,” you handed the poster to Reese and reached into your knapsack, “if you don’t mind?”
You carefully placed the drone on the table and his brows shot up in surprise. He lifted it just as you let it go and admired it as he leaned back, “you make this?”
“Yeah,” you answered shyly, “doesn’t have all the cool features like yours but it flies.”
“That’s awesome,” he put it back down and uncapped his marker, “where do you want me to sign?”
“Just on the top is fine,” you pointed, “thank you so much.”
“My pleasure,” he put his signature after spelling out your name and he grabbed the drone again, “hey, Buck, look at this? I don’t see any fancy arms that need signing.”
“Shut up,” Bucky grumbled and eyed the drone, “pretty cool, though.”
“Thanks, uh, well, we should get out of the way,” you said.
He handed you the drone and smiled. You began to shuffle away and he called you back to the table, “you code? Do a lot of programming?”
“Mostly just corporate sites,” you answered.
“Here,” he reached into his pocket, “send me a text. I think I know some people who’d like to meet you.”
“What?” you took the card rigidly.
“Sure, we’re always looking for techs,” he said, “and if we can’t find a spot for you, maybe you can see the real Redwing. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Wow, thank you, you… don’t have to do… that,” you stuttered.
“I’d be stupid not to,” he waved off your protests, “you go have fun, you two.”
You backed away and turned to walk away with Reese as you shoved your drone back in your bag with the card, numb with disbelief.
“Wow, I can’t believe…” you trailed off as you mind wandered.
“Me either,” Reese said oddly, “that’s… wild.”
You looked at him and smiled. He didn’t look mad, only serious. You tightened the neck of the knapsack and slung it over your shoulders.
“So what are we doing for lunch?” you asked.
🌠
In the two weeks since you attended the meet and greet, you and Reese kept up mostly online, many arrangements interrupted by your real life responsibilities. It wasn’t until you offered for him to come with you to the SWORD labs that he had any free time for you. After a stressful text exchange with Captain America, you were too anxious to go alone and he was more than welcoming when you asked to bring a friend.
You stood on the subway as Reese sat and played his Switch. He was jittery as you kept your own nerves hidden just beneath the surface. You found it easier to stay standing as you felt as if you might combust if you sat.
“This is so awesome,” he said as he zipped his Switch up in its case, “thanks for inviting me.”
“I figured I owed you since you got the tickets for the meet and greet,” you said, “and it’s been a while.”
“Sorry about that, work’s been nuts,” he stood as you approached your stop and held onto the pole above your hand, “I kinda skipped out on half a day for this.”
“No,” you frowned, “you didn’t have to--”
“And miss a chance to see the real Redwing? Come on,” he scoffed.
“Oh,” you hung your head, “yeah, I guess that’s worth it.”
“I didn’t mean-- I’m happy to see you too, it’s just kinda a big deal,” he said as you approached the door with the few other passengers readying to hop off.
“No, I get it,” you hooked your thumbs under the straps of your knapsack as the doors slid open and you stepped out onto the platform, “I just… I couldn’t go alone. It’s so… scary.”
“Scary? Jeez, Captain America invited you to a job interview!”
“No, that’s not--”
“Uh, yeah, that’s exactly what it is but I promise, I won’t get in the way,” he said as you head for the concrete stairs, “maybe if he needs an extra coder I might piggy back.”
“Uh huh,” you came up onto the New York sidewalk and came into view of the immense SWORD building, “well, I don’t think it’s all that.”
“So why’d you bring this?” he tapped your bag as you neared the large glass doors and men in suits with coiled wires at their ears squared their shoulders.
“He asked me to,” you said as you were approached by one of the big security guards.
“This isn’t public entry,” he said sternly, “no tours.”
“I have an appointment or… I’m expected,” you pulled out your phone and pulled up the electronic pass Sam sent you, “see?”
“Hmm,” he eyed it and took your phone without asking. Another guard came and scanned it with his phone, “checks out but we’re gonna called down Mr. Wilson and get confirmation.”
“Oh, okay,” you fidgeted as he made no move to return your phone. Reese seemed to shrink as the two men spoke into their headset and nodded at each other.
“Hey,” the glass door burst open as Sam appeared and strode towards you, “hey, sorry, these guys are such buzzkills,” he approached and patted one of the men on the shoulder, “they’re with me.” He assured and waved you after him.
“Um, my phone,” you said to the taller man with the buzzed head. He tilted his head wryly and held out your cell between two fingers. You took it and followed Sam to the doors.
“Anyway, we were just going over some basic maintenance today and I thought you might like to observe. See everything that goes into keeping me and my toys in the air,” he smiled as he held the door and nodded at Reese, “nice to see you again, man.”
“You too, Cap...tain,” Reese answered dumbly.
“Sam is fine,” he chuckled back and tailed the two of you across the lobby as he pointed you towards the elevators. He made Reese look even more like a stick bug. “You bring it?”
“Yeah, it’s in my bag,” you stopped yourself from popping your knuckles out of nervousness, “thank you so much for this. I usually work in cubicles so… uh, yeah… I don’t know what I mean.”
“Hey, don’t be nervous, you built that thing all by yourself? I’m sure you’ll fit right in,” he said.
You got off the elevator and had to hold in a gasp at the shining laboratories as the hi-tech equipment gleamed through the glass walls. Sam led you down the curved staircase onto the lab floors as techs and assistants in both lab coats and starched suits milled around the tables along the edge of the room.
“Hey, Greta,” he called out as he showed you to a metal table, “get a look at this.” A woman with twisted red hair approached as Sam tapped his fingers on the table, “show her,” he urged you.
You swung your bag around and took out the little red and silver drone. You placed it in the middle of the table and the woman, Greta, tilted her head curiously.
“You said you can make this thing fly, right?” Sam asked as Reese watched from the other side of the table.
“Um, yep,” you unlocked your phone and brought up the beta app you designed, “just…”
The drone rose slowly and steadied before you as it hovered over the metal. Greta lifted a dark brow and ran a nail along her chin thoughtfully, “cute.”
“Ah, come on, tell me that isn’t awesome? She did it all by herself,” Sam boasted, “so, what do you think? She’d be a great tech, huh?”
“Tech? I…” you blinked and giggled, that was absurd.
“Does she have a resume? A list of her credentials, at least,” Greta rebuffed.
“Greta,” Sam warned playfully, “I’m her credentials. I’m giving her a reference right now. Hire her.”
“What?” you mumbled under your breath and you saw Reese’s eye cling to Sam darkly, almost enviously.
“You know, if I hadn’t let that kid go for hi-jacking the alpha, I’d tell you to go back to breaking your toys,” she warned, “but I trust you and… I cannot say I’m not impressed,” she narrowed her sights at the floating drone, “how long did this take you?”
“A year or so,” you answered, “it was… just meant to be a hobby but--”
“Well, make it your life,” she said tersely, “Wilson, you deal with HR, Sheila likes you better.”
“Leave it all to me,” he grinned and she walked away.
“Here,” he turned back to you, “I’ll show you the operating system for the real deal.”
He ushered you and Reese over to a computer after you lowered your drone. The real Redwing sat on a module next to the screen and Sam punched the keys and took a hooked earpiece from a small stand, “put this on.”
You slipped the earpiece on as he revealed a bracelet and adjusted it on your wrist, a small ring looping up your index finger.
“Bend your finger,” he said and you did it, “lift it up, back… like that.” Redwing rose and you watched in amazement, “tilt your head…” the drone aimed in the same direction as your head, “now back,” it flew higher, “just like that. You’re getting it.”
You steered the drone in a circle and Sam helped you maneuver it back down. He let you hand the controls over to Reese who had more fun with it and nearly took out one of the workers. He apologised and Sam just chuckled, though it didn’t sound so amused.
When Redwing was back in its place, Sam took you all around the room to show you every gadget; his wings, his suit, all his little weapons, and even pulled up some Wakandan schematics of Bucky’s arm. Much of it wasn’t in English however and you could only decipher what was visually laid out.
He left you there for a moment as he excused himself to chat with a tech about his wings. Reese huffed and leaned against the wall. You were quiet, mostly stunned, though your usual reticence could also be blamed.
“I don’t think you should’ve brought me,” he said, “I told you it was a job interview.”
“I didn’t know, I thought you would enjoy it,” you felt awful as Reese had given up trying to hide his jealousy.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, “well, it is pretty cool but…”
He was interrupted as Sam returned, “sorry about that, guys, I kinda messed up one of the engines on the wings on my last mission.”
You smiled and said it was fine. You hadn’t expected so much attention and thought it would be a brief little show and tell, not an entire tour. You returned to the table where you left your drone and shut down the app. You packed up your Redwing, it felt lighter but you were sure you were just imagining things as your head spun. You looked down at the bold signature across the shell and knotted the drawstring above its nose.
“Sorry, I…” you took your bag from the table, “I hate to bother but is there a bathroom I can use.”
“Oh yeah, just head back up the stairs, left of the elevators,” Sam pointed above, “we’ll wait here, there’s one last thing I wanna show you.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” you headed for the stairs and latched onto the railing before you could trip upwards.
You bumbled up the stairs and after a brief moment of blankness, you found your way to the bathroom. You quickly slipped into the stall and spent a minute at the mirror after washing your hands to get your head straight. It felt like a dream, or worse, a joke.
You headed back out and Sam was waiting just by the elevators to your surprise. You pursed your lips and glanced around, “where’s Reese?”
“Oh, yeah, uh, he left,” he said as he shoved his hand in his pocket, “said he wasn’t feeling it.”
“Really?” you shrunk, just a little, “erm… that’s too bad.”
“Yeah, kinda weird, I don’t think I’ve ever just ditched a girlfriend in the middle of the city,” he said.
“Girlfriend? Well… it’s… it’s early,” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I hope he’s okay.”
“Damn, I hope he didn’t ruin it, I still wanted to show you the shield,” he intoned, “but if you’re not feeling up to it--”
“No, no, I’m here, that would be awesome,” you forced a smile.
Had you done something wrong? Was it rude to invite Reese and have all this rubbed in his face? You thought he’d feel worse if you didn’t invite him. Your doubts flurried in your head as you stepped onto the elevator with Sam, chewing your cheek as you tried not to show your disappointment.
You were brought back to the present as the metal doors opened and Sam nudged you as you stared right through the open space. You stepped out ahead of him and he caught up and walked beside you as he explained what was hidden in every room; mostly offices and training gyms.
He unlocked a door at the far curve of the circular hallway and jiggled until it opened. He pushed it open and the lights flicked on automatically.
“Bucky,” he grumbled, “he almost took the handle right off… so now I gotta fight it.”
“Oh,” you entered as he beckoned you inside and you looked around the spacious office.
“You know, there’s lots of paperwork when you take out a whole bridge, even if it is an accident,” he laughed, “and it gives me a place to show this off.”
He went to the wall where the shield was held on small metal hooks and slid it out easily. The vibranium sung in the air as he turned to you and held it out.
“You wanna?” he asked.
“Sure…” you murmured as he turned it around and held it so you could hook your arm through the straps. He let it go and stood back to look you over.
“It suits you,” he said, “got your own Redwing and you hold that like a real champ. Maybe it’s time I step aside.”
You laughed nervously and shook your head. You peeked down at the metal and lifted and angled around as you admired the smooth curve.
“Thanks,” you offered it back to him and he took it with one hand, “for everything.”
“You’re taking the job, right?” he prodded, “it’s perfect.”
“Mmm, well, I got a job--”
“Better than here? Better than suiting up the Cap?” he chided.
You bent your ankle under you and swayed on your feet. It was a great opportunity and way better than your desk job. It just felt like you didn’t deserve it.
“I need an answer. Greta doesn’t like indecision,” he said.
“O-okay, okay,” you surrendered, “I… if I said no, I’d feel even worse.”
“You won’t regret it, promise,” he said, “if you do, Redwing is yours. The real one.”
“No, no, I’m…” you rocked as you gripped the straps of your knapsack, “I’m sure I won’t.”
🌠
Your two weeks notice rolled by. Your boss was less than pleased by the sudden departure but you didn’t care much as you wouldn’t have to deal with him for much longer. You wrapped up your last day with your replacement and left feeling free, though the anxiety of your job loomed on the other side of the weekend.
In those weeks since your visit to the SWORD facility, you hadn’t heard much from Reese. That night when you messaged him to make sure he was okay, he didn’t say much more than ‘just tired’. After that, he was always offline when you signed onto the server and all your co-op requests were declined. You were ready to give up.
Oh well, it was an online thing anyway, you were stupid to think it could work out.
But you were not entirely isolated. To your surprise, you got several messages from Sam, you still couldn’t help but think of him as Captain America and feel like you had nothing interesting to say to a hero. When he found out you liked to game, he even joined you for a session on headset but again, you were hyper focused and quiet. You were flattered that he was trying to make you feel welcome, that he even bothered to get you a job, but it all felt so above you.
When you got home that night, you logged in and sent a request to Reese, just one last attempt. He didn’t even respond, even after fifteen minutes of waiting. You shut down your PC and grabbed your switch instead. You changed as the system updated your Animal Crossing and flopped onto your bed.
You laid across the mattress, one leg over the edge and the other bent. You ran through, planting, fishing, and selling as you tried not to think too much. You’d done enough of that lately. You zoned out as your eyes narrowed at the small screen but in your peripheral, you felt a shadow move. You shrugged it off as the sunlight playing through the curtains and rolled onto your side to ignore it.
You kept on, ready to log out as you didn’t want to spend another Nook Ticket to go to and island and get nothing but flowers. You heard a subtle whirring and glanced over at your computer. It was sleeping and it was never that loud. You noticed that light shift again and turned. There was nothing. Nothing but your dresser and the signed drone, just as you left it.
You squinted and turned off your Switch. You went out to the front room to drop it back in the dock. You stretched and grabbed your phone from your purse to put in an order for some take-out. You stopped as you noticed Sam’s unanswered messages.
‘Whatcha doin’ tonite?’ and several that assumed you must be busy.
‘Sorry, got caught up gaming,’ you replied guiltily.
Your phone shook before you could close out of the chat and you answered as Sam’s name flashed across the top.
“Hello?” you squeaked.
“Hey, hope I’m not buggin’ you but I thought-- stop, Jesus Christ, sorry, we’re on our way to dinner and we hoped you might join us.”
“We?” you echoed.
“Oh, ha, yeah me and Bucky, Greta, and some of the techs. Not too many of us but you’re more than welcome,” he said, “since you start on Monday, it will be good to get to know some people.”
“Y-yeah, for sure,” you answered. It felt more an obligation than an invite. You didn’t want to come across snobbish or lazy even if you’d rather eat fried noodles and watch some trash reality TV.
“Great! I’ll send you the address,” he growled and hissed under his breath, “sorry, again, I’m just dealing with this-- I’ll see you there. Save ya a seat.”
He hung up abruptly and you stood dumbfounded staring at your jacket. You dropped your phone back into your purse and headed back to your room. You had to find something to wear that didn’t seem like you were trying too hard or not trying enough.
As you entered, that same whirring floated through the air and suddenly stopped. You looked around confused; not a fly, not your PC acting up, nothing. You grimaced at the poster with the star emblem across it and went to your dresser to pick out an outfit. It was probably the neighbour fucking around. Apartment living was rarely peaceful.
🌠
The restaurant was bustling as you were met by the hostess at the door. You told her you were there to join the party from SWORD. She showed you to the table and Sam saw you above the din and waved to you then shoved Bucky over on the cushioned bench.
“Right here,” he pointed as he waved you over and stepped aside to let you past. You sidled along and sat, apologizing to Bucky as he rolled his eyes, “not too late.”
You gave your drink order as a waiter came by and shrugged out of your jacket, letting it bunch up around your back. Sam offered his menu and introduced the people you didn’t know at the table; alongside Bucky and Greta, were Xan and Wyatt. You said hello and opted for the fiesta salad as you set aside the menu.
“Are you excited?” Sam asked.
“For what?” Bucky huffed, “she’s gotta put up with you.”
“Hey,” Sam took the lemon off the rim of his glass and tossed it at Bucky, “he lightens up… sometimes.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky grumbled but you could hear the humour in his voice.
You sank into the background as the night went on. You spoke up when you were called on but felt it hard to assert yourself, especially with someone as outspoken as Sam beside you. Still, he made sure to make you feel included when you started to feel forgotten. For that you were grateful and he was right, it made you feel a little less anxious about your first day.
As you came out onto the sidewalk, your wallet painfully lighter, you bid goodbye to everyone but Sam hung around. You clutched your purse and peered down the street.
“Thanks for inviting me,” you said.
“Ah, you know what, I shoulda asked that guy, Reese? How’s it going with him? He your boyfriend yet?”
“Ha, no,” you sucked in your lip and took a deep breath, “I don’t even think we’re friends anymore.”
“Oh no, what happened?” he asked.
“I dunno,” you said wistfully, “but it is what it is.”
“He’s missin’ out. You’re a cool girl,” he said, “building drones for fun. Kinda why I had to snag you, you know? Someone with your skills, that’s dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” you chortled, “no.”
“Well,” he checked his phone, “how are you getting home?”
“I’ll just take the train,” you said, “my place is only about a ten minute ride from here.”
“You sure? I can give you a ride,” he said.
“Nah, really, you’ve done… more than enough.”
“Alright, well, see you Monday?”
“Monday?” you wondered.
“I’ll pop in before I head out,” he said, “got a mission so I might not be around more than that.”
“Okay, Monday,” you confirmed, “see ya.”
🌠
Monday was a whirlwind. It started on a high as Sam suited up and showed off his wings before he headed up to the jet pad. Greta muttered that she was happy he’d be out of your way before she went through the task of getting you acquainted not only with the tech but with their workplace rituals. It was a lot to take in but you did your best to absorb every word and second.
When you got home, you had a folder full of notes and spent too long going over them before you remembered the groan in your stomach. You ate a lazy super of Kraft Dinner and lazed across your bed doing nothing but watching Youtube tutorials on your tablet. You fell asleep early and woke to your alarm and a dead tablet.
You got up, got dressed, ran out, and did it all again. The first week dragged by and yet it felt like you didn’t have enough time. On Friday, you got home and fell across the couch in your work clothes. You held your phone above you and scrolled dozily through your feed.
A dot popped up and you flicked over to your notifications. The selfie you posted on your first day at the lab with Sam in his suit had lots of hearts but your first comment was less than pleasant. Beside Reese’s icon was all caps: MUST BE EASY SLEEPING YOUR WAY INTO A JOB!
Your heart pattered and you sat up. You deleted the comment but another soon appeared; several as you kept deleting and finally blocked him. ‘Slut, whore, dumb bitch…’ it was the last thing you expected from him.
You opened Discord and clicked on his chat. ‘What’s going on? Why are you doing this?’
The text flicked across the bottom that Reese was typing but he stopped and you sat there for what felt like forever before his response popped up.
‘I can’t believe you brought me all the way there to rub my face in all that shit. And for what? You should’ve just told me I had no chance and I woulda left you alone. If you wanna fuck Sam Wilson, do it, but don’t chain me along like your little bitch boy. Get fucked slut.’
You flinched as you read it and re-read it. You typed shakily as your eyes watered. ‘I’m not fucking Sam and I wouldn’t. I brought you there because I wanted to and thought you would like it. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about it. But I see what you think of me so I only wish you the best and hope you find peace.’
You sent the message but just as quickly, you were blocked from sending any more. You tossed your phone and fell back against the couch. That must have been why he took off but you couldn’t figure out how he thought you of all people were sleeping with Sam Wilson. Really? He was just another incel after all.
You phone jangled with your annoying ringtone and you grabbed it, expecting to be insulted by Reese again but it was Sam calling. You really weren’t in the mood to talk with him. You just wanted to be left alone. But you couldn’t just ignore Captain America.
“Hello?” you answered.
“Hey, I just got back in town. Whatcha doing?” you could hear the wind in the speaker.
“Just got home. I’m exhausted. Probably gonna just nap.”
“You okay?” he asked after a moment.
“Fine,” you said dully.
“Don’t sound fine,” he said, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you insisted.
“Oh, so it’s not what that boy said on your photo?”
“You saw that?”
“You tagged me, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, no, it’s…”
“Shit, don’t listen to him. He’s just a boy, he blew his chance and he’s bitter about it,” he said, “how about I come over, make sure you’re really okay?”
“No, I don’t think--”
“Ah, come on, don’t make me worry all night about you,” he chided.
“Sam, you really--” There was a knock at the window and you froze. “Sam?”
The line clicked and you heard the tapping again. You lowered your phone and went to the window. Outside, geared up in his wings and suit, Sam hovered before the glass. You blinked and he rapped again. You snapped out of your shock and unlocked the window and slid it up.
“What are you doing?” you asked, “wait? How do you know where I live?”
He grabbed onto the frame and hooked his leg through as he retracted his wings. He bent under and sat half-in and half-out of the window, “forgive me? I did a bit of snooping in HR.”
“I told you not to come. I really don’t feel up to-- It’s really weird that you’re here,” you sat as he ducked pulled his other leg through and stood, “Sam, I think you should go.”
“You shouldn’t be alone, especially after that moron sending you that shit,” he said coolly as he took off his tinted goggles.
“Well, I want to be alone, so you should--”
“I mean, I haven’t even fucked you yet and he’s jealous,” he snickered, “so I guess we should give him a real reason.”
“What are you talking about? That’s… gross. You should go--”
“Come on, girl, you think this was really about a drone,” he tossed his goggles down and set his shield on the chair as he strode around the room, “convenience. I want you close.”
“I don’t--” you looked down at your phone, “get out, Sam.”
The tone of your finger pressing ‘9’ sounded and he spun quickly to face you. He stormed over to you before you could hit ‘1’ and ripped it from your grasp.
“You’re gonna call the cops and say what? I’m Captain America,” he snarled, “but you can just call me Cap.”
He winked and threw your phone out the window smoothly. You gasped as he chuckled and lifted his wings off his back. He leaned them against the wall and stretched out his shoulders. He looked around as he twisted his tongue between his teeth.
“I like this, looks cozy,” he toed the side of the couch with his boot, “look better with you on it.”
You watched him stroll around the coffee table as he unzipped the collar of his suit. The scene was like some tainted nightmare. Maybe you’d fallen asleep. You were so tired you must have just passed out but you weren’t waking up.
You spun around and ran into the small hallway that led to your door. You were caught from behind, pulled back by the nape of your blazer as Sam tutted. His arm went around your waist and he lifted you off your feet. He turned and carried you back into the front room. You kicked and writhed as his strength enwrapped you.
“Please, please,” you begged, “I… I don’t understand. This isn’t-- this isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t--”
“Baby girl,” he cooed as he brought you close to the couch, “be good and listen to your Captain. Now stop this.”
“No, no,” you gulped at air as the panic rose in you, “I never-- please, you don’t have to do this--”
“You gotta do what I say,” he snapped and flung you onto the couch, “I don’t want to make you.”
You looked at him as you trembled in fear and disbelief. This couldn’t be. He was Sam Wilson, the Captain America; he was a nice guy.
“You have one minute to get naked,” he said and you just gaped at him, “you gonna make me repeat myself?”
Your throat tightened as his dark eyes bore into you. His hand balled to a fist and finally you found an ounce of strength. You pushed your legs over the edge of the couch and slipped out of your blazer. You stood carefully and watched him cautiously. You had to look away as your hands quivered over the buttons of your blouse.
You turned and folded your shirt over your blazer. You could hear him behind you as you unbuttoned your pants and pushed them down your legs. The question of what you were doing flitted through your head but the fear pulsed through you and took over.
“Ah,” he sighed and you peeked back as he freed himself of the top half of his stealth suit.
You turned back and hesitated. You knew there was more, you knew what he wanted, but your body locked up as your fingers curled and your insides knotted.
“Let me get that,” he came close and his fingers tickled along your shoulder blades and he unhooked your bra, “hmmm,” he let go and the cups fell off your chest, “almost there, baby.”
He stepped back and you shuddered. You dropped your bra and hooked your fingers under your panties. You wiggled them down a little at the time and heard the intake of breath as you pulled them down entirely. You stood still, unable to move, too mortified to face him.
“Come on, baby,” he said, “get comfortable.”
You inhaled and turned slowly. You went to the couch as he shed his undershirt and added it to the pile atop his shield. He looked at you and tilted his head as he licked his bottom lip. He snarled as he took in the sight of you and pointed you to the couch.
You sat and hugged yourself as he stripped off his pants along with his boxers in a single swipe. You flicked your eyes away as you glimpsed his hard dick as he stood straight and you stared at the open window. You smushed your lips together in horror and held in the tide of tears.
He came closer and you tried to tune out the room. This couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. You felt his hands on your knees and he urged your legs apart. You resisted for a moment then let him guide your limbs. It would be over sooner if you just let it happen.
He knelt on the floor as his hands kneaded along your thighs and framed your vee as he leaned over your lap. You winced and he kept your legs from closing as he pushed his body between them. His thumb grazed your folds and he pushed between them. You let out a hushed gasp as he swirled around your clit.
“See, it’s not so bad to be good, is it, baby?” he purred, “you’re wet already.”
He slid his thumb up and down and spread the wetness along your cunt. You were shocked and humiliated by your obvious arousal. You shouldn’t be turned on by this. Your body was not listening to your mind, it was obeying his touch.
“Mmm,” he hummed as he turned his hand and poked along your entrance with one finger.
He pushed inside and you clenched around his intrusion. He pulled in and out and added another finger. Your nails clawed at the cushion and you pressed back into the couch. He kept his thumb on your clit as he worked his fingers inside of you and the tension clustered between his fingertips.
“Oh, baby, listen to you,” he bet forward and replaced his thumb with his tongue as he kept fingering you.
You turned your face up to the ceiling and squeezed your eyes shut. You bit your lip as the ripples radiated from your core and your breath hitched. His hand moved faster as he suckled at your bud and his free hand groped your chest blindly. You slapped your hand over your mouth as you came, your back arching as you pushed into him.
He teased you through your climax and pulled away only as you quaked and whined at his unyielding touch. He drew his fingers out of you and sat back to lick them clean. You peeked down at him and quickly away as his eyes blazed back at you.
“Up,” he stood and stroked himself shamelessly as he strode around the coffee table, “put your hands on there.”
You rose unsteadily, legs shaking beneath you as your entire being felt like jelly. You went to him and turned your back to him. You bent over and he grabbed your ass and squeezed with a growl. You gripped the table and hung your head as the cool air grazed your cunt.
He shoved his hand between your legs and rubbed you again. He stepped closer and bent his knees as he lined himself up with your entrance, sliding in between his fingers as he spread you wide. You choked as his tip poked inside and he eased himself inch by inch into you. He held your hip as he reached his limit and groaned.
“Baby, oh god damn,” he thrust so that your whole body jerked. It was painfully delightful. Of the few men you’d been with, he was the biggest, or at least the thickest.
He rocked slowly and a moan escaped your lips. Despite the torturous pressure of his intrusion, you could ignore the pleasure laced in the pain. His hand brushed up your as and along your back. He bent over you as his fingers curled over your shoulder and he pressed his body to yours as he fucked you.
You kept your head down as you tried to measure your breaths and the pathetic noises rising from you. He pushed his hand down your stomach and between your legs again to play with your clit. He moved his legs against yours and forced them together so your cunt hugged him even tighter. He grunted and you whimpered as his fingers added to the new pressure.
He sped up so that the table scraped against the floor but kept you up with one arm around you. He rutted into you wildly as his sultry voice filled your chest and his heat consumed you. You cried out as another orgasm swept through you and your cunt quivered around him desperately.
He pulled you up suddenly so you stood on your toes. He tilted into you as he brought his arms up around yours and tined his fingers behind your head. His flesh slapped yours loudly and you opened your eyes as you heard a familiar whirring. The drone flew before you, the signature on its shell, but a light blinking at its nose. Yours didn’t have a light.
“What--”
“Ah, yeah,” he rasped through rampant breaths, “looks like they got mixed up.”
“Huh--” you sucked in your breath as he thrust harder and deeper.
“I didn’t mind, he helped me keep an eye on you,” he said as he nuzzled you above his hands, “you look so cute in your little tee shirts.”
You groaned and leaned your head against him as another rush of fear was met with unwanted bliss. You murmured senselessly as he picked up his pace and the drone came closer. He purred as you felt his muscles tighten.
“Don’t worry,” he puffed, “I’ll make sure the boy knows he was right.”
He buried himself in you, nearly taking you off your feet, and twitched as he emptied himself into you. He rocked his hips subtly as he rode out his climax and stilled you as his voice gristled to rampant pants. His arms fell to embrace you and he kept you flush to him as he lingered inside.
“Or I can keep that little video to myself…” he brought his hand up to cradle your chin and poked his finger along your lower lip, “it’s all up to you, baby.”
#sam wilson#dark sam wilson#dark!sam wilson#one shot#sam wilson x reader#fic#dark!fic#dark fic#tfatws#falcon#captain america#mcu#marvel#bucky barnes#avengers
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Clandestine Meetings - One
Actor!Bucky x Reader | Word Count: 2488 | Warnings: None
A/N: Listen, I know I said this would be posted in "about an hour," but I have no self-control and it must be posted NOW.
Sorry for the delay in getting this out! I was having a bit of block. Thank you for reading and, if you feel so inclined, please let me know what you think!❤️ If you want to be tagged, please send me a message or enter your url here!
Dividers by the lovely @firefly-graphics
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It’s 10:30 by the time your boss stumbles into the office. Pepper Potts is usually the embodiment of poised and put together - sleek strawberry blonde hair either falling over her shoulders in beautiful waves or tied in a high ponytail; black pencil skirts and white blouses tucked neatly inside. But not today.
While the ponytail still sits high on her head, dark circles taint her usually smooth, pristine complexion. She’s fisting a to-go mug in one hand and her office mug in the other, already steaming with a fresh round of caffeine.
You hated days like these; mornings after Tony keeps her out late - either business or pleasure, you never know as you prefer not to pry into your bosses’ personal lives - were always interesting, to say the least. Pepper was never mean, and you were almost positive there wasn’t an unkind bone in her body. She was just off. And if she was off, it means you were off, resulting in your job being about one hundred times harder as you often had to play the roles of both assistant and editor.
“Good morning, Ms. Potts,” you finally greet as she sits down at her desk. She’s rummaging through her bag, growing more irritable as the seconds pass. She sighs before stopping to look up at you.
“Y/N, please. It’s been six months. Just call me Pepper.” You internally scoff at the insistence of being anything less than professional towards one of the smartest women you’ve ever encountered in your life, and she turns back to her treasure hunt. “Don’t tell me I left my laptop at home,” she whines to herself as she slumps down into her large executive chair.
You clear your throat as you shuffle forward, computer in hand. “You had me take down to IT to get your files backed up, remember?” you smile as you deposit the device on the cherry-oak desk.
Pepper returns the smile and shakes her head. “Honestly, I don’t understand how I functioned before you.” She slides the laptop across the desk and opens it. While she waits for the software to boot up, she starts her typical morning rapid-fire session. “Did I miss any calls before I came in?”
“No, it’s been pretty q-word this morning.” You vowed never to say “quiet” while in the office. It somehow always jinxed your days, resulting in everyone and their mother calling within twenty minutes.
“E-mails?”
“The chef you’ve been in contact with sent over his schedule for the next few months. It’s looking like the best time to meet is early next month if you want to get the feature done in time for the winter edition.” Pepper opens her mouth to fire another question, but you’re one step ahead of her. “I’ve already blocked out a date in your calendar and sent the invite to his team.”
A soft smile graces the woman’s face as she scribbles notes in her daybook. “And what does my schedule look like for today?”
You sort through the mental files that contain minute-to-minute information regarding your boss’s workday. “You’re pretty booked. You have that photoshop with James Barnes at noon, and after-”
“Shit,” Pepper mummers, cutting you off. Panic quickly settles into her features. “Why does Tony do this? Barnes is impossible to book for anything. I can’t miss this….”
“Uh, no, you can’t,” you practically screech as you fix your boss with a wild look. “This photoshoot has been on your schedule since before I even started. And the time you have set up with him next week doesn’t allow for a full interview, photoshoot, and get material for the short online feature.” You try not to let the panic come out in your voice, but this is precisely the kind of incident you were hired to prevent.
Pepper gently closes her laptop and sets her features in a serious look. “Listen, I think you’re doing a great job here, and you’ve grown so much within the few months you’ve been on the team.” You eye her suspiciously, wondering if this was your ‘you’re fired’ speech. If so, it was definitely coming out of left field. “Why don’t you take my place at the shoot today? If Tony hadn’t promised I’d be in attendance for this investor meeting today, I’d have you go to that instead. But,” the blonde sighs deeply before continuing, “Tony has no regard for anyone’s schedule, and this is an important meeting.”
Your stomach drops from the 44th floor you’re currently on down to ground level. You’d never been on a set before, let alone one with someone as big as James. Plus, you’d only been on a handful of mid-sized interviews. How did she expect you to do this by yourself?
“Pepper, I…”
“I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to try and tell me that you’re not ready and that you can’t possibly clear your schedule for the afternoon. But if I didn’t think you were capable of holding your own, you wouldn’t even be sitting here with ‘assistant editor’ in front of your name. You have the skillset; you just need to show that you can use it. I know you don’t want to be an assistant forever.”
You anxiously bite your lip, feelings of inadequacy and anxiousness filling your senses.
“I don’t even know this James guy…” you say, defeated.
“Well, the car doesn’t arrive for another,” she looks down at her phone, “forty-five minutes. You better get reading.”
“We really need to bring you into the twenty-first century,” Natasha, Bucky’s manager, says as the first notes of My Funny Valentine start dancing through today’s set.
Following the too-bright flash of the camera, Bucky blinks the starbursts out of his eyes and tries to set the redhead with as stern of a look as possible. “Don’t you dare diss Mr. Sinatra. He’s a classic. A legend!” He watches as a stylist runs up and begins fussing with his hair.
Natasha just rolls her eyes and goes back to scrolling through her phone. As much as she acts annoyed with him - and his insistence of having at least two dozen 40’s songs on every photoshoot playlist - he knew she wouldn’t trade him for the world. They had a long history pre-dating the entertainment industry, and she was damn good at her job. If it wasn’t for Nat, Bucky’s not sure his current agency would have even signed him.
As the stylist finishes up her poking and prodding, the photographer - who Bucky has already forgotten the name of - begins shouting out directions from behind the camera. Pose this way. Turn that way. Make it look like you want to be here. It takes everything in Bucky not to grimace - both at the consistent reconfiguring he has to do to his body and the loud rumble that echoes through his stomach. The shirtless pictures they were shooting today caused him - against his better judgment - to forgo breakfast and, with nothing but too-weak black coffee in his system, Bucky couldn’t help but feel a little agitated.
“Just a few more shots, and then we can break for lunch,” he hears the man behind the camera shout before dragging the camera back up to his face.
Bucky contorts himself into a position that shows off the abs he’s worked incredibly hard to achieve and maintain and masks his face in the perfect moody smolder these magazines love so much. Three more pops of the shutter, some grumbling and direction by the photographer, and one more position change, and he’s finally free.
As he’s looking at the pictures and throwing a robe over his bare torso and boxer-clad bottom, Bucky’s attention is pulled from the camera’s tiny screen to the back of the spacious room by Natasha’s stern, Russian-lilted voice. The accent only came out when she was agitated, so the sound alone is often used as a warning sign to those closest to her to stay away.
“How did you even get up here? Is there no security in place? I swear-”
Bucky turns to find his manager - all five-foot-three inches of her - standing defensively in front of whomever she’s cornered by the elevator.
“As I said, I’m here in place of Ms. Potts.” Bucky perks up at the second voice; is almost positive he recognizes the sweet melody despite having only encountered it once several months before. “Here, look, I have my badge.”
Sure enough, as Bucky scurries over to the duo, he sees a familiar face anxiously looking at his manager. He might be terrible with names, but Bucky Barnes rarely forgets a face.
“Natasha, why do you insist on harassing every person who sets foot within a five-foot radius of me while on the job?” Bucky jokes as he approaches the women.
He watches as your attention shifts from the annoyed redhead to him; a look of shock and maybe a hint of mortification flashes across your face.
“I wasn’t harassing. This is a closed set, and randos from the street can’t just walk on up,” Natasha rolls her eyes. “And it’s not you I’m worried about. It’s...you. But you know what I mean!”
He does. After all, protecting his privacy and work is one of Bucky’s most significant concerns. That doesn't mean he isn’t going to tease Natasha any chance he gets. He playfully scoffs and turns his attention to you. “I see you got the job. I told you everything was going to work out.”
Bucky can’t help but preen at the way you anxiously tuck a non-existent stray hair behind your ear and bite your lip. “You were right. Mr. Stark isn’t as intimidating as I thought. Although,” you playfully roll your eyes, “he is a menace. He promised Pepper’s attendance at a meeting, so now you’re stuck with an inexperienced interviewer rather than the queen of journalism.”
“Bah!” Bucky exclaims. “I’m sure you’ll do great. Plus, you’re not the one half-naked in the situation. If anyone embarrasses themselves, it’ll be me.”
Natasha chortles at the comment, mumbling something the sounds a lot like, “ever the charmer,” before walking away. At the same time, Bucky doesn’t miss the way your gaze slowly skims down his cotton-clade body before snapping back up to his face.
“Come on. We just broke for lunch, and Stark spares no expense when it comes to the spreads.”
It’s well past six-thirty in the evening when you finally make it back to your building. Despite the exhaustion flowing through your veins and the grumble in your stomach reminding you every five minutes that you haven’t eaten since lunchtime, there’s a festive air to your being, a proverbial pep to your step that could only be the result of a successful first interview experience.
Yeah, you were a nervous wreck before and during the interview, but you walked away feeling amazing about yourself - and with three pages worth of phenomenal, touching, and personal quotes from the one and only Bucky Barnes.
You try to ignore the butterflies that erupt low in your belly at the thought of the blue-eyed god of a man. Despite having no other experience interviewing someone with as large of a celebrity as he, you’ve concluded that Bucky is an angel of an interviewee. He was polite, answered all of your questions, and flirted just a little. Or, at least that’s what you would call it if you were anyone but a lowly editorial assistant who still purchased from bargain bins because that’s all you could afford. In all reality, Bucky was a very smooth talker with the confidence to back it up. It explained the incomprehensible hype surrounding the man you had no idea was such a big deal less than twelve hours prior.
The rumble of your stomach pulls you back to reality as you unlock your apartment door. You push the thoughts of Bucky to the back of your mind, settle for finishing unpacking the day for when you’re unwinding for bed. Right now, all you want to focus on is fo-
“Uh, hello!” your roommate Wanda screeches as you push open the door. The redhead is standing, arms crossed, in your entry, a look of disdain on her face. “When were you going to tell me, your best friend and roommate, who pays half the rent and utilities, mind you, that Bucky Barnes followed you on Instagram. James Bucky Barnes, Y/N!”
You freeze at the mention of the man who has taken up every inch of your mind since you left the shoot earlier that day. You deposit your keys onto the small table next to the door and try to act as nonchalant as possible. “What are you talking about, Wanda?”
Your roommate starts wagging her phone in front of your face before pulling it back so she can read off her screen. “Well, I follow these gossip blogs - just for fun, of course. I like to stay up-to-date with all the celebrity goings-on.” You fix Wanda with an unamused look as you pass by on the way to the kitchen. “And I was scrolling through, catching up on today’s gossip, and all of a sudden, I see a screenshot of your Instagram account!”
You freeze mid-reach for a saucepan and turn to look at her. “What?”
“Yea, see,” Wanda holds her phone out so you can see the screen. Low and behold, there your account is; questionably composed landscape shots of the city and poorly-lit food pics in all their glory. “It started to circulate this afternoon after someone saw he followed you! Why did he follow you?”
You slowly resume your task of reheating last night’s spaghetti as you answer her. “I...I don’t know? I met him at work this afternoon. He probably just followed me because of Stark.” You shrug despite the thrill that runs through your body.
You halfheartedly listen as Wanda blabs on about the crush she’s apparently had for years despite never having once mentioned it to you, too focused on running through the day’s events to care much about how she’s seen every single one of his films at least a dozen times.
Maybe he had been flirting with you? His manager did mention he flirts with anything with a heartbeat, so it was most likely just part of his personality. Or at least the role he played in public. You weren’t naive enough to think that who Bucky presented himself as to the media, fans, and others not in his inner circle was the real Bucky. After all, he was likely just trying to win you over so you’d write something good about him.
Still, you can’t help the giddy smile that creeps across your face as, when you finally lie down for the night, you open the Instagram app to find Bucky’s name and verified status among the several notifications awaiting you.
@redbarn1995 @juenenfeu
#bucky x reader#actor!bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#actor au#bucky barnes au#bucky x you#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fanfic
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Survivor stories: Death, loss and selflessness during the pandemic
By Jacqueline Cutler / New York Daily News
Those days when the word corona made you think beer or crown feel like long-gone innocence.
So much happened during these 18 months that how we’re reacting to different phases of the pandemic and how survivors are coping are worth documenting.
“Voices from the Pandemic: Americans Tell Their Stories of Crisis, Courage and Resilience” is a powerful reflection on the last year and a half. Pulitzer-winning journalist Eli Saslow has managed the near-impossible: He makes you want to read more about the pandemic.
This doesn’t bother with maps of where the virus is spiking or death tolls. It can’t be of the moment. Instead, it’s the story of all of us — those who have taken every precaution and those who refused to acknowledge COVID’s deadly path.
Done in the style of the late great Studs Terkel, these are oral histories as the history is happening. Each section has people sharing their stories in their words.
Sure, it’s edited for clarity, but there’s no spin. It’s unfailingly fair: When a tenant recounts her eviction, the next entry is from a landlord who exhausted her savings trying to not evict people.
Even though we think we know the stories of the pandemic, we can’t – at least not all of them. And we never may. Saslow carefully selected a cross-section of people; some who have since died, some who recovered, some who never may.
Saslow reminds us of the first whisperings. On Jan. 4, 2020, there was news about what was considered a pneumonia outbreak in China. Five weeks later, it had a name, COVID-19.
A month later, life as we knew it stopped.
“She’s dead, and I’m quarantined,” Tony Sizemore, of Indianapolis, says of his love, Birdie Shelton, in the first entry from March 2020. “That’s how the story ends. I keep going back over it in loops, trying to find a way to sweeten it, but nothing changes the facts. I wasn’t there with her at the end. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I don’t even know where her body is right now, or if the only thing that’s left is her ashes.”
With that gut-wrenching opening, we’re off. We meet dozens of people we’ve never heard of, which is precisely the point. Everyone knew when Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson were among the first celebrities to get COVID.
But this book introduces Bruce MacGillis, a man in an Ohio nursing home. He refused to let temp workers who couldn’t wear masks correctly get near him and isolated himself until he was vaccinated.
“I’m a hard-ass about this stuff, and I’m not even a little bit sorry,” he told Saslow. “I can’t afford to take chances.”
Some who tell their stories are the superheroes of the pandemic.
A shift leader of a nursing team in Detroit, Sal Hadwan, recounts insane shifts. While we celebrate and honor health care workers – now more than ever – the dire conditions they were working under were horrifying. Remember garbage bags serving as protective gear? Some had one mask per shift.
In April 2020, Hadwan said: “We’re basically handling the most severe cases in the ER, which is not our training. These nurses don’t have a second to relax. You’ve got one patient’s oxygen running out and another whose heart rate is going wild. All you can do is try your best to hear the alarms and then sprint as fast as you can from one emergency to the next. You hope you make it in time. Sometimes you don’t.”
Naturally, it’s bleak. But there are also stories of humanity at its best.
Burnell Cotlon of New Orleans (pictured above) turned his grocery store in the Lower Ninth Ward into a food pantry. He couldn’t afford to, but some of his neighbors couldn’t afford to eat.
As he said in April 2020, “Last week, I caught a lady in the back of the store stuffing things into her purse. We don’t really have shoplifters here.”
He knows the customers in his two-aisle market. The woman swiped a carton of eggs, hot dogs, and candy bars.
“She started crying,” Cotlon told Saslow. “She said she had three kids, and her man had lost his job, and they had nothing to eat and no place to go. Maybe it was a lie. I don’t know. But who’s making up stories for seven or eight dollars
of groceries? She was telling me, ‘Please, please, I’m begging you. How are we supposed to eat?’ I stood there for a minute and thought about it, and what am I going to do?”
Colton started running tabs – for the first time. He went from having zero customers on credit to 62 within a month. He kept giving to neighbors until he fell three months behind on his mortgage.
In a postscript, Saslow adds that when Colton’s generosity became known, online fundraisers brought in $500,000. Naturally, he put it to great use: forgiving his customers’ debt and beginning construction on a subsidized apartment building. “He also gave out free school supplies and turned his store into a free vaccination site for the community.”
Every page in this is sobering. Every story chilling, relatable, and absolutely forthright.
For those who lost their jobs and who were living paycheck-to-paycheck, rent became impossible to pay. To lose your job, your health, your relatives and now your home is unbearable. Granted, the news often focuses on the tenants, while many of us assume landlords only take time out from counting their money to harass tenants.
It’s a lot easier to feel for the tenants, who are doing all they can.
Saslow interviewed Tusdae Barr, evicted during the pandemic. Although money was tight before COVID, Barr was making rent with everyone in her family chipping in — until work dried up. Barr eventually found herself ousted, then in cheap motels, and finally with relatives.
If you never thought you could sympathize with a landlord, meet Jayne Rocco of Deland, Fla. She became a landlord 25 years ago when broke, reeling from a divorce. Rocco found a lender, bought and fixed up a cheap house, then flipped it and bought two houses. She continued doing this until she had 10 properties, none fancy. Rocco’s profit was about $40,000 a year pre-pandemic.
Trying to help her tenants and pay her bills, Rocco exhausted her savings. She’s still trying, and still has troubles. With some of the people featured, their troubles are financial. For some, such as a newlywed, former athlete Kaitlin Denis, of Chicago, the effects of long-term COVID, are medical. She’s drained and can barely get out of bed.
And some trying to help, such as Amber Elliot, county health director in Farmington, Mo., found herself threatened with anti-vaxxers posting photos of her kids online.
The book ends with a leading voice of science. Stanley Plotkin, 88, a virologist, “developed the rubella vaccine that’s now in standard use throughout the world.” He’s worked on other life-saving vaccines and consults for the World Health Organization.
“Parents can expect their children to grow up, and that’s a relatively new thing,” Plotkin told Saslow in January. “It shouldn’t be taken for granted.”
If this pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that nothing can.
(source)
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Hihi! Can you tell us a little bit about veterinary stuff and working as a vet / how hard was it to get into vet school and what was it like? Thank you! (I'm thinking of being a vet and I've read about it online and the grades needed are awfully high and it seems like it's not for everyone)
Hello there! I was wondering if veterinary medicine would be a good career for me? What are the difficulties of "vet school"? I've read more than a couple of horror stories on the internet about people getting ludicrously good scores but still not making it? How true is that? Overall opinions?? Any comments about the financial aspect? Thank you!
vet-and-wild here.
In terms of getting into vet school, it honestly sucks. Most schools about 1000 applicants and 100 spots. They also tend to let in more in state than out of state students (although it depends on the school), so your chances of getting in are statistically pretty darn low. Every single person applying has good grades. Some people get in because they have exceptional grades, but schools are getting away from that trend because it turns out a lot of people that are booksmart aren’t necessarily great with people, and working with people is a huge part of this profession. My grades were below average, but I had thousands of hours of unique animal experience, so you certainly can get in without being a 4.0 student, but it takes work. When people want tips for applying, the best thing I can recommend is to diversify your application. The vast majority of students applying have high GPAs and a ton of small animal experience. What makes you different? Work with farm animals, wildlife, research, etc. My hours weren’t necessarily even veterinary related (about 200-250, which is quite below average), but I worked on a farm and did study abroads and did unique behavior/enrichment work with captive wildlife. Your interview also is a factor.
Vet school also sucks. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There will be semesters when you have over 30 credits and professors will expect you to prioritize their class and how dare you not remember this one tiny detail from year 1. You will be challenged in ways you never imagined. There is an insane amount of information to learn, plus you need to be involved in extracurricular activities to make your resume look good. Not to mention the cost is insane. Average vet students graduate with at least $250,000 (US) in debt. I had people straight up tell me I was stupid for choosing an out of state school over my in state, but I’m really happy that I did. I don’t think I would have done well at my in state school. The finances are terrifying, but I just remind myself that thousands of people before me have done it. I worked with a financial advisor and came up with a 20 year plan, which still sucks but it’s more reasonable than I expected. Honestly, it’s the interest that is the worst. If I think too much about it I get pissed off, because it’s literally robbing students. You cannot work enough hours while in vet school to make loan payments. It’s impossible. Vet school is full time job, and then some. I earned enough interest in just 4 years of vet school to get another bachelor’s degree, and I think that’s criminal, because it was literally impossible for me to make payments and go to school.
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Because Two People Got Drunk: 29
Series Masterlist
Chapter 29
A/N: I am not a doctor and have no medical training (besides 13 seasons of Greys). Italics represent a flashback and some of your thoughts. This chapter is written from Fred’s POV.
Summary: The high you’re feeling from winning the second round comes to an abrupt end.
Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of car accident
Word Count: 7600
Fred’s POV
“Good game tonight Fred” Kyle the NBC sportscaster says. You run your hands through your hair damp with sweat having just gotten off the bike.
“Thanks, yeah the boys really came together and played a full 60 minutes and we pulled out the W” you answer. You grab your towel and wipe the sweat from your forehead “the boys did a good job at limiting their chances and keeping them away from the slot, kept my job pretty easy” you chuckle slightly.
“Yeah it was a good effort all around. You looking forward to a couple days off before the conference finals?” he asks you. The other matchup being Toronto and Tampa is tied after 4 games, they play game 5 tomorrow night, but the series will need at least 6 games to be decided.
“Yeah it will be good for us to have a few days without games. Be able to allow some of the boys to rest, I know some of them got a little banged up this series” you explain shifting around on your feet, hoping to wrap this up to jump in the shower to get home to (Y/N). Tonight is the first day she has been willing to talk and you don’t want to miss any time with her. You bring your water bottle up to your lips taking a sip of Gatorade while the interview continues.
“What did you think of the power play? Sidney alluded to some issues and needing some work if you want to be successful in the conference finals.”
“Yeah well I think you guys have mentioned it a lot in interviews and post game coverage. We know there is some work needed in that aspect of the game. So we can use the next few days to refocus and figure out how to generate some momentum from that. Both Toronto and Tampa have a very good P.K. so we need to have success on our power play to advance to the finals.”
“Well thank you and good luck Freddie” Kyle says.
“Thank you” you respond smiling.
Him and the other sportscasters turn their attention to the coach and you finally head into the showers. You look at the clock and see it’s about 45 minutes after the game. Wanting to get home quickly you decide to have a quick shower at the rink, and have a full one later. You can’t wait to cuddle up beside (Y/N) for the first time in weeks, feel your boys kick while you breathe in her fruity conditioner. While you know there is some difficult conversations still to be had, you just want to wrap yourself around her for a few hours first.
After a quick shower you throw your game day suit back on. It’s your navy three piece suit with a light grey vest, it’s (Y/N)’s favourite and you like to think it brought you good luck tonight. You leave the top button of your white dress shirt undone, reaching for your tie.
A few hours ago you were in the bathroom finishing getting ready when Oliver came running in with a present for you. It was something he and (Y/N) saw online and ordered a couple weeks ago and it just came in. He had the biggest smile on his face, carrying the box with a simple grey bow.
(Y/N) was leaning on the doorway watching the exchange with a small grin on her face, you could see it reflecting back to you on the mirror. Her hair was in gentle waves, no makeup on her face. She had on a pair of track pants with a black tee that was a little too small, the bottom of her bump exposed. All you wanted was to kiss her, but you didn’t want to push her limits; even if she did give you a soft kiss a few hours ago.
You opened the box and revealed a black silk tie with Toy Story characters in various poses stitched into it.
“It’s lightyear and woody!” your son cheers smiling and you chuckle lightly, this being one of his favourite movies.
“Wow, thanks Ollie this is great” you say running your fingers on the fabric.
“I was actually looking at ties for him for the wedding this summer, when he saw this one and he loved it. I asked if he wanted it, and he said daddy would” (Y/N) explains walking over to the vanity resting against the counter a few inches from you.
“Well you’re right” you say smiling at Oliver “I love it buddy!”
“Wear it daddy” Oliver exclaims.
“You think I should wear it to the game tonight?” you ask him.
He nods his head with a huge smile “yeah!” you can feel the excitement radiating off of him.
You look at (Y/N) who raises an eyebrow at you with a light chuckle. You don’t exactly have a reputation for wild or colourful suits, leaving that style to the younger boys. You set the box down and turn back to the mirror, you begin to loosen the navy blue one you normally pair this look with. (Y/N) walks forward a few steps and picks up the tie, removing it from the packaging and putting the fabric around your neck.
She begins to effortlessly tie your tie for you, she smiles at you her face a few inches from yours. You smell her conditioner, and don’t break eye contact with her while she tucks the tie in your vest. You see the faint freckles on her nose, the pinkness to her cheeks and take a gulp having missed her touch more than you even noticed. She has a slight smile on her face while she adjusts your collar and smooths the fabric making it straight and stepping back “what do you think Ollie?”
“It’s perfect” he exclaims jumping into your arms. “Good luck daddy” he says wrapping his arms around your neck. You holds his tiny body against your chest, his legs dangling while you kiss his cheek.
“Thanks bud, I’m going to have so many saves because of my new tie” you say setting him down. He brings a hand up, giving you your pre-game fist bump before leaving the bathroom.
You turn your attention to (Y/N) who steps in front of you, she places her arms on your biceps and leans in close to your ear. Goosebumps build feeling her breath on your neck “good luck Fred” she whispers and you shiver, feeling her words sending a tingle to your spine.
She pulls her face back, now looking up into your eyes, without thinking you bring your lips down to hers and your hands down to her hips. She steps into your embrace, wrapping her arms around your neck opening her mouth to allow you entrance. Her hands tangle into your hair, and you are tempted to slide your hands down to give her ass a light squeeze but you don’t want to push your luck. You settle with your hands resting on the small of her back.
Your tongues fight for dominance, a soft moan slipping from her lips has you almost gets you hard. She finally pulls back smiling while you take a gasp of air. She places another soft kiss on your lips before stepping back to the counter with a smirk.
“Thanks (Y/N)” you say wiping the side of your mouth.
“Talk to you later tonight” she says while you lean in to place a kiss on her cheek. She grips your arms and pulls away “you’re going to be late” she says softly causing you to groan before turning around and heading out for the game.
You smile running the smooth fabric through your fingers remembering the exchange from earlier that day. You loosely wrap it around your neck, not bothering to tuck it into the vest. You know there are some extremely difficult conversations to come tonight and over the next few days, but you are extremely grateful (Y/N) is willing to talk. Her showing up at the game shows how lucky you are to have this amazing woman. She could have just asked Kathy or Christina to bring him, but her coming gives you hope for how the next few days will go.
After gathering your belongings from your stall you open the dressing room door with your cell phone in your hand. Assuming (Y/N) left after the game you unlock your phone expecting to see a “congrats” text from her, but your screen display is empty.
“Daddy” you hear a voice identical to Oliver’s call out. You look up, gazing the room for the child and see your son in his Andersen jersey and red curls running towards you.
“Hey Oliver” you say bending down to hug him. His arms wrap around your neck while you stand up holding him against you. “What are you doing here?” you ask scanning the area for (Y/N) surprised she would wait with how she has been feeling.
“You were so good daddy!” he squeals ignoring you. “Maybe you will play Uncle Auston and Uncle Mitch!”
You laugh lightly making your way through the crowded hallway, you begin to head to the lounge assuming she found a comfortable spot to wait for you.
“Hey Fred” you hear a voice call from beside you, you turn to your left to see Kathy. “(Y/N) wasn’t feeling the best so she left after the first period.” She pulls out a set of car keys and hands them to you.
“She took the car home? She must have been super uncomfortable to get in that thing” you laugh. “Thanks, how was this guy?” you ask shifting him on your hip. You look at your son and see his eyes getting heavy causing a light smile to cross your face. Oliver rests his head on your shoulder as Kathy responds “he was great. He was very into the game, his eyes were glued to the ice the entire time. He also ate a lot of popcorn” she further explains. You laugh lightly at that and kiss his forehead “but he was great. Never stopped smiling”
“That’s awesome, thanks again Kathy. He has been laying the guilt on (Y/N) for not going to games, I’m sure he was thrilled to get to stay.” You wrap your free arm around her giving her a side hug “well I’m happy to bring him with me anytime.”
“You say thank you to Kathy for keeping an eye on your tonight?” you ask Oliver.
“Thank you Kathy” your soon coos on your shoulder.
“Anytime Ollie” she smiles “have a good night Fred” she says smiling and turning down the hall to find Sid. You head to the car Oliver resting his head on your shoulder, you hear his soft breathing thinking he has fallen asleep against you. You buckle Oliver into his car seat and pull away looking at him, you see his brown eyes are open, very heavy but open.
“Hey bud” you say wiping his hair from his face “you tired?” you ask him. He still has a big smile glued to his face, even if his eyes are struggling to stay open.
“No daddy” he mumbles shaking his head. You place a quick kiss on his cheek and get into the driver’s seat, you adjust all the settings and get comfortable. You start the short drive home, knowing traffic will be light at this late hour.
“You have fun tonight?” you ask Oliver driving down the street slowly, avoiding the fans who are celebrating on the street. You see brake lights ahead, which is unusual for this time of day, but sigh slowing the car.
“Yeah daddy, so much fun!” he cheers from the back seat as you stop. You look in the review mirror and see him looking out the window at the surroundings.
“Well make sure you thank mommy for taking you” you say smiling.
“I will daddy” he says, you see him smile before you turn your attention back to the road. There is 3 streetlights before you get on the onramp, and the lights ahead of you have switched from red to green a few times, yet you haven’t moved. You want to turn the radio on for an update on traffic, but you also don’t want it to keep Oliver awake. You shift slightly in your seat as you pull up a few car lengths, approaching the first intersection.
“Daddy why aren’t we moving?” you hear him mumble from the backseat.
You look into the review, and his eyes are barely awake while his head nods on and off. You chuckle and decide to not answer, knowing he is seconds away from passing out. You tap your finger on the steering wheel and begin to advance closer to the first light.
You see a police officer in the middle of the intersection directing cars to turn at the intersection, likely because of an accident; a bad one if they are diverting traffic away from the area. You groan, knowing your quick drive will be longer but follow the flow of traffic around the corner.
About 15 minutes later you are finally back on track, merging onto the freeway. You scan the review mirror and see Oliver fast asleep, his head leaning back and mouth wide open. The only good thing about the delay getting home is that Oliver will be fast asleep when you get home, and there is no chance of you waking him up putting him in bed.
The rest of your drive is smooth and you finally pull up and open your gate. While making your way slowly up your driveway, you take in the scenery that is illuminated by the full moon while the garage gradually opens. When it finally opens you notice the BMW isn’t parked in there. You stop and look around the driveway trying to see if (Y/N) parked outside and you didn’t notice it but don’t see anything.
You put the SUV in park you check your phone and don’t see any missed calls or texts from (Y/N).
F: Hey babe, just got home and you’re not here. You okay?
You carefully scoop Oliver up from his car seat, resting his head on your shoulder making your way to his room. I’m sure she just went to her grandparents, it’s closer to the arena you think setting Oliver down on his bed. You gently strip the jersey off, and pull his shoes off his feet; you decide to leave him in his pants and t-shirt he was wearing underneath in order to not wake him.
“Goodnight Ollie” you whisper placing a kiss on his forehead gently pulling his Penguins comforter up to his chin tucking him in. “Love you” you say pulling the door, but leaving it open a crack to allow in a little light from the hall.
You pull your phone out and see no new notifications, you click back on your conversation and the message hasn’t been delivered yet. You scowl lightly knowing every car has a charger in it, so her phone isn’t dead. You walk down the hall to the bedroom, sitting on the bed wrinkling the duvet slightly pulling your tie off your neck and tossing it beside you.
F: If you’re still mad at me babe I understand. If you regret earlier or aren’t ready to forgive me I get it.
You sigh hoping that isn’t the case, if she did regret kissing me would she have come to the game? You stare at the conversation seeing the second message still hasn’t delivered. You lock the phone and stand up tearing the rest of your suit off. Normally you would carefully place them on the hanger and back in the closet, but tonight you just throw them onto your crinkled sheets.
You know they will wrinkle, just as the duvet under them but you don’t care. You know you should hang it up, put it away so it isn’t strewn across the bed when (Y/N) gets home but with every second (Y/N) doesn’t pull into the driveway or answer her phone you start to think she won’t come home. You run your hands through your hair, letting out an exasperated sigh you walk to the shower turning it on. You lean against the counter and unlock your phone once more, calling her this time. After one ring you hear:
“Hey you’ve reached (Y/N) sorry I missed you” you mumble a fuck under your breath and hang up not bothering to listen to the remainder of her voicemail. You scroll through your contacts and hit the call button, after a few rings you hear Debbie, (Y/N)’s grandmother, answer the phone.
“Hello” she mumbles into the phone barely awake.
“Hi Debbie, I’m sorry to call so late” you say into the phone while she clears her throat. You hear a bit of a commotion on the other end of the phone, and can hear John mumbling about someone calling at this hour.
“It’s Frederik dear” she says away from the mouth piece, you can hear John muttering in the background. “Is everything okay?” she asks turning her attention to you.
“Is (Y/N) there?” you ask.
“John, is (Y/N) here?” she asks him. “He’s gone to check, what’s going on?”
“(Y/N) came to my game but left after the first period, but she isn’t home. I thought maybe she decided to crash at your place instead of doing the drive home” you explain.
“I see” she says and silence falls over the line. “John says she isn’t here” she says and you feel your heart drop as panic sets in. You take a gulp and run your hands through your hair, leaning backwards feeling your back hit the mirror.
“Okay thanks” you manage to croak.
“I’m sure she is fine dear” she tried to reassure you, but you don’t think she even believes it knowing this in unusual for (Y/N). And you have a pit in the bottom of your stomach that says otherwise.
“Yeah…thanks. I’ll let you know when I hear from her” you explain hanging up the phone. You walk over to the shower and feel the steam hit your face, you reach in and turn it off trying to think who else might know where she is, who you could call. It’s unlikely she called her friends from home about where she went, and the women all saw her leave after the first period. If Kathy knew something she would have told me after the game. And if she hadn’t heard from her by the end of the game none of the other women would have. And no matter what she would have called me, even when she wouldn’t talk to me she was delayed at her hair appointment and still text me so I wouldn’t worry. No matter how she is feeling towards me she wouldn’t just take off.
You slowly walk into the closet and pull out a pair of track pants and a t-shirt from your drawer. You pull them on and unlock your phone once again.
F: I just want to make sure you’re okay. Please answer me
F: I love you xox
As you hit the send button you sigh again seeing your messages still aren’t being delivered. You are pulled from your trance by your main gate buzzer going off. You run to the speaker in the bedroom and press the button.
“Hello (Y/N/N)” you practically yell into the speaker, not even realizing that she wouldn’t need to be buzzed in.
“No sorry, this is Officer Black from Pittsburgh P.D. Is this the address of (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)?” the unfamiliar voice asks back. You take a few deep breaths, releasing the buzzer and hitting the open button. Your heart rate begins to pick up, the pit in your stomach grows while you almost fall down the stairs running to the front door.
Your hands shake as you reach out for the door handle. You see the police cruiser parked through the frosted glass, and two figures approach the door. You grip the handle, maybe that second figure is (Y/N) you think. Disappointment and fear fill your body when you open the door to see two officers approaching you, no sign of (Y/N).
“Hi I’m Fred, I’m (Y/N)’s boyfriend” you say as they approach the door. “Where is she, is she okay?”
“I’m Officer Black, this is Officer Taylor. Can we come in?” one officer asks.
“Where is she?” you ask feeling your voice crack.
“She is in the hospital but is okay” the second officer says to you “she was in a car accident at Logan and Wylie.”
That was the accident I was diverted around on my way home. You go numb while the officers wait for you to respond. You take a gulp and brace yourself against the door frame, your heart beats out of your chest.
“Maybe you should sit down” one of them says gently guiding you into the office. You lean against the arm of one of the red chairs (Y/N) bought. While this room is rarely used, you still notice the details she put into it. There is a large canvas pictures of the 3 of you above the fireplace, and pictures of your families framed on the desk. She spent hours finding the pillows for the window bench that matched the chairs perfectly. The bookshelves are filled with all the books from her childhood that were previously in storage, multiple candles are scattered around the room.
All these minor details that she spent hours planning, make this house a home. Normally you would feel close to (Y/N), sense her in the space but in this moment you have never felt further from her. Tears are building in your eyes, you look at the officers through blurred eyes “you said she’s at a hospital?” you whisper.
“UPMC Presbyterian” they respond.
“The babies? She is pregnant” you say wiping the side of your eyes sitting upright.
“We don’t have any more of an update just that she is in critical condition and they are working on her” he says to you. “Do you need a ride there?”
“No I can get myself there, just have to get my son” you whisper lightly and stand up. The officers leave your house while you head upstairs pulling out your phone to call Debbie back. You tell her about the accident and she says John will meet you at the hospital and take Oliver back to their house. You hang up and open the door to his room, the light slowly approaching the bed.
You see your son lying on his stomach, blue tucked tightly under his arm. You freeze in your tracks seeing your son, your first son with (Y/N) and immediately break down praying everyone is okay. You fall to your feet and sob thinking of the worst case scenario, losing (Y/N) and the twins, having to raise Oliver alone without a mother.
No I can’t think that way, she will be fine. I just have to get to the hospital. (Y/N) is fine, she is fine. Y/N is fine.
You keep repeating that to yourself, trying to make yourself believe it. Finally after a few deep breaths you find the strength to stand up wiping the tears from your eyes. You shake your head and spot the bag (Y/N) packed beside his door.
You planned on Oliver going to John and Debbie’s when she went into labour. Since Dr. Morris put her on steroids she packed two bags weeks ago. One bag full of items for the two of you and the twins and the second is Oliver’s bag to take to their house with some clothes and books; knowing they have lots of toys there. You walk over to Oliver and sit on his bed, pulling his body against your chest. You kiss his head, your hands stroking through his hair. You need to get to the hospital, you need to check on (Y/N) and the twins, but in this moment you need this.
You gently rock him side to side, his small body resting in your arms causes you to relax slightly. You hear him mumble and stir slightly in his sleep as you gently set him back down. You walk over to his duffle bag and throw it over your shoulder and carefully grab him and blue.
The drive to the hospital is a blur, you are almost sure you shouldn’t be driving in your state. You park in the parking lot staring down the building; the building that can change your future. You didn’t expect to be here for a few more weeks, not until the day (Y/N) gave birth.
You get out and walk to the backseat of your car, unbuckling Oliver and grabbing his bag, when you realize John won’t have a car seat. You gently set Oliver down on the spare seat reaching over him to remove the car seat. You feel a hand touch your back and you jump up, hitting your head on the ceiling of your car.
“Fuck” you mumble under your breath, rubbing your hat over your scalp while stepping out of the vehicle. You see John and practically fall into his arms, letting out a sob while he wraps himself around you.
”Sorry” he whispers. You aren’t sure if he means for scaring you or about the current situation. Your body shakes while he holds you against him for a few minutes. You are brought back when you hear him calling your name.
You pull away and see his bloodshot eyes, glossed over with tears. “Hey John, how are you doing?” you ask him wiping your tears away.
“Alright, been better. Same as you I’m sure” he says looking behind you to the building. You only nod in response, realizing the last time he was rushing to a hospital in the middle of the night was when his son and daughter-in-law died.
“Did the police give you any information?” he asks turning his gaze back to yours.
“No they didn’t have any at the house and I just parked a minute ago” you explain.
“You should get inside” John whispers trying for his voice to not crack “I can get the car seat Fred.”
You nod and hug him once more “I’ll keep you updated” you say. You pull away and place a kiss on Oliver’s cheek before running into the hospital’s emergency room.
“Hey” you say running up the admittance nurse “hello I’m Frederik –“
“Hi Frederik, you need to sit down there are people ahead of you waiting to see me” the nurse tells you looking down at the computer in front of him. You look behind you and see 3 people sitting on chairs and turn back to the nurse “you don’t understand I’m not here for a doctor. My girlfriend was in an accident and brought here, I don’t know where she is” you spew out at the nurse.
The man stops typing and looks up you “what’s her name?” he asks.
“(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)” you say to the nurse who enters the info into the system.
“Follow the blue line to the elevator, take that to the 3rd floor, follow the blue line to room 307 she is in there” he says to you.
“Thank you” you say tapping your hand on the desk and taking off down the hall. Once in the elevator you look at the index for the floors, surgery is 7th, labour and delivery in on the 5th so that has to be good she isn’t in either. Floor 3 has trauma rooms, the ICU and imagery .
The door dings to the 3rd floor and you sprint down the hall ignoring the calls from staff to stop running. When you find 307 you practically throw the door open, it crashes into the wall causing some of the staff to turn their attention towards you.
“Sir you can’t be in here” you hear a nurse say to you, but you ignore her and walk in. You hear the scattered beeping of machines, when you see one of her hands limply hanging off the bed. You bring a hand up to your mouth gasping at what you see.
You see the bracelet wrapped around her wrist; the bracelet you bought her in the beginning of the season. It was during your first long road trip. Oliver was giving her a hard time, he was struggling with you being gone and there was nothing you could do to help besides leaving and going back to Pittsburgh, which wasn’t an option.
While walking through the warm streets of L.A, you passed by a jewelry store and it immediately caught your eye in the window. You thought of her and walked inside and bought it without even looking at anything else. Through everything she never took it off. The once beautiful white gold bracelet, is now stained red with her blood.
She has monitors hooked up all over her, you can see her hair is wet with blood, blood stains her clothes that have been cut off her and are lying on the floor. The jacket she finally wore to a playoff game, the black denim jacket with your name embroidered in the back, the jacket she was so excited to get when you clinched is in pieces never to be worn again. You can see that a pool of blood has collected between her legs as you sniffle stepping forward to her. She looks cold, a shell of the woman she once was as you see the ultrasound machine being set up.
You feel a hand grip your arm firmer than before “sir you can’t be in here” you hear a voice say and you try to brush it off, trying to get closer to (Y/N).
“She’s my...that’s my” you struggle to form words looking over her body, you watch as someone squeezes some jelly onto her stomach “those are my babies. Are my babies okay?” your hands run through your hair watching the scene unfold around you.
“Yes, we have the fetal heartbeats on that monitor there” they say nodding to one of the machines “a little erratic but right now holding steady. She has some abdominal bleeding we are monitoring right now” the person with the wand says to you as the woman beside you attempts to guide you into the hall.
“You have to leave sir” she says more firmly.
“Please” you croak out “I need to know” you say and the doctor sighs and nods to the nurse beside you. He places the wand over her stomach adjusting it to find the babies, you swallow even though your throat is dry. The heartbeat fills the room and you see one of the babies faces on the screen causing you to chuckle and wipe your eyes. You are so relieved hearing the heartbeat of one of your sons. The doctor moves the wand some more finding the second baby and you just stare at the monitor, hearing their tiny hearts beating gives you back some hope and optimism.
“Sir we’re going to take care of your wife, that’s our job” you hear someone say to you. “But you have to let us do our job, so please let us do our job.”
“Okay” you whisper and nod while two nurses help guide you out of the room and shut the door behind you. You step off to the side and slide down the wall, ignoring the nearby seats. You land on your ass, bending your knees. Your rest your elbows on your knees and your head falls into your hands. You take a deep breath, you didn’t realize how much you had been holding in trying to process everything. You have been taking advantage of her always being there and now she might not be anymore.
You don’t know how long you sit on the floor for, could be minutes could be hours when the door opens and a bunch of the staff leave. You don’t think you can move from this spot yet somehow rise to your feet, when the last nurse stops in front of you.
“She’s doing okay for now, the doctors are ready to talk to you when you’re ready” she gently squeezes your arm and walks away carrying some of the supplies.
You take a deep breath and walk into the room even though your feet feel anchored to the ground. “Hi I’m Fred” you say walking in to the room.
“Hi I’m Dr. Lang a pediatric surgeon and this is Dr. Cooper a trauma surgeon”
“How is she?”
“Your wife is stable, but she has a cracked ribs and some internal bleeding. She sustained a pretty serious gash to her head, but we don’t see any bleeding or swelling in her brain, likely has a concussion. She sprained her left wrist but otherwise just bumps and bruises” the female doctor explains to you.
“Your babies are holding steady, it’s been a little touch and go but they are both stable right now” you hear the other doctor explain. “She had some uterine bleeding caused during the accident which appears to have stopped on its own for now but we will keep monitoring it.”
“You said she has internal bleeding?”
“We are monitoring the internal bleeding, if it corrects itself then the babies can stay in, hopefully for a few more weeks” Dr. Cooper explains. “But if it doesn’t stop she’ll need surgery.”
“And the babies? What then?” you ask.
“We would likely have to do an emergency C-section at that point. We got the file from her OB and they have given her prenatal steroids, with that and their weights we are optimistic they would be okay with an early delivery. We also have her on some more drugs to try and encourage their growth, any time we can get is important.”
The doctors talk to you for a little while longer before leaving you alone in the room with (Y/N). Her body looks so small lying in the room, you feel a ball catch in your throat while you pull a chair up beside her bed, gripping her frail cold hand.
“Oh my god (Y/N)” you whisper “I can’t believe this happened to you.”
You bring her hand to your lips, kissing it around the tape holding the IV in place. You hold her hand to your lips, tears fill your eyes as you sit there listening to the beeping. You can barely look at her, the once vibrant woman full of life, now unconscious machines connected, lines everywhere.
After sending some update messages to her grandparents you adjust in the chair. You try to get comfortable knowing you are in for a long night, you close your eyes attempting to sleep. Between the nurses checking on her, the beeping and the uncomfortable chair you are barely able to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time.
Around 7am you feel (Y/N)’s hand twitch and the monitors begin beeping erratically. You squeeze her hand calling out for her as she squirms in the bed.
“(Y/N)” you call out as nurses flood the room pushing you out of the way. The two doctor’s rush in the room, as your chest tightens. “No please” you cry out feeling your eyes glaze with tears “(Y/N). The nurses continue to try to usher you out of the room while you keep calling her name. The door is slammed in your face and you can hear scattered conversations and rushed actions from inside the room.
You pace in the hallway, adjusting your hat. What is going on in there?
You pace around finally sitting in the chair in the hallway you can hear the controlled chaos from inside the room; all you want is to open the door and see (Y/N). You hear your phone ring, you shake the tears from your eyes and see Debbie’s name on the screen. You bring the phone to your ear “hey Debbie” you say choking on your tears.
“How is Oliver doing?” you ask after a couple minutes of updating her on (Y/N)’s status.
“He is okay, just finished breakfast. He was a little confused why he woke up here and where you guys were. He wanted to talk to you” she says. You know that you need more than just his voice, so you switch the call to FaceTime.
“Hi daddy” he says, his face lights up seeing you.
“Hey buddy” you chuckle wiping your eye, his face helping to repair your heart.
“Where are you?” he asks getting really close to the screen and you can only see his mouth; Facetime and cameras not being his strong suit. Both you and (Y/N) have countless “selfies” he has taken of himself which is just a close up of his eyes and nose.
You sigh for a second and take a deep breath, adjusting your hat on your head “I’m uh…I’m at the hospital with mommy. Mommy got hurt but the doctors are taking good care of her” you explain to him.
“Mommy got hurt?” he asks, you can hear his voice break a little bit.
“Yeah but she is okay buddy” you say into the phone. You want to reassure him but you don’t know how much of it you believe right now.
“Can I see her?” he asks pulling back and you can see more of his face on the screen.
“Not right now” you say and you see his face fall a bit “she is sleeping. But she would love it if you drew her some pictures.”
“Okay daddy” he says and the door opens while the staff begins to exit the room.
“I got to go see mommy, I love you” you say wiping the few remaining tears from your eyes.
“Love you daddy” your son says before you disconnect the call.
You walk into the room and see Dr. Cooper checking some of the monitors. “She is okay, her blood pressure is rising and she is still bleeding but okay for now. The babies are becoming too stressed, if their heart rates don’t drop we’ll have to deliver them. We’ve been giving them medication since she was admitted to try and lower them but so far it’s not working. Some studies say hearing the dad’s voice can help” she says shooting you a soft smile and walking out of the room.
You walk back to the chair and sit down gripping her hand, and your other slides to her stomach. You lightly place it on her belly, around the monitors.
“Hey boys” you whisper stroking them slightly. “I know you want to come out, but it would be better if you didn’t. I need you to stay put inside your mommy a little while longer. God I can’t believe we’re here right now, never thought this would happen” you feel tears begin to fall and release her hand to wipe them away.
“You know (Y/N) people keep calling you my wife” you chuckle shifting to look at her. A big bandage is in her hair, her face is partially swollen, lower lip cracked, but the woman you love is there, underneath all that. You rub your hand over her stomach, a strangled chuckle leaving your throat “and god I don’t know why you’re not. I said I wanted to wait and you said you were fine with having more kids first, but that just seems ridiculous now. Why would I wait when I have the most amazing woman in my life. You should be my wife, but god I don’t deserve you. You are way too good to me, and if the past few weeks have shown anything it’s that I need to be better. I need to be better for you, for Ollie, for these two” tears are streaming down your cheeks, eyes completely blurred while your hand rubs (Y/N)’s stomach gently. “Make it through this and I will spend every day trying to be the man you deserve.”
You stand up and press your lips to her forehead “please be okay (Y/N), please be okay so I can make you my wife and get you that puppy you haven’t stopped talking about. I’ll get you 5 dogs if it means you’ll be okay.” You feel one of the babies kick causing you to laugh through your tears “he seems excited for 5 dogs.”
A few hours later you are on a conference call with the coach and GM, you sent them a text explaining your absence from practice. There is up to a week before the conference finals begin, but they are preparing for Jarry to start those, you can’t see yourself being back for that. You look out the window, watching the rain stream down the glass, lightning illuminates the sky. Normally the sun would be preparing to set over the city, but a large storm rolled through making your worst day even more miserable.
You hold a cup of crappy hospital coffee in your hand while they prepare the press release on your absence. In this moment though you don’t care about the quality of coffee, any source of caffeine is appreciated. The hospital brought you a cot to sleep on, but you couldn’t leave her side, opting to hunch awkwardly in the chair and you can’t see yourself sleeping in the cot tonight.
Apart from sleep deprivation your back and neck are sore, but that pain is nothing compared to the emotional roller coaster you have been going through. There was multiple instances where (Y/N)’s blood pressure or the babies would get erratic and you have been ushered out of the room. The doctors say she still has some internal bleeding which is causing the babies levels to increase, which causes (Y/N)’s to rise. They don’t think it can continue like this for much longer before they have to deliver the babies and address the bleeding.
The team says you can come out with the goalie coach for private sessions any time if you’re feeling up to it. But you can barely handle leaving (Y/N) to get a coffee, let alone a few hours to get out on the ice; and in this moment you have no desire to play. The one constant in your life, the thing that has calmed you, always been there for you and now you can’t imagine ever doing it again.
“I got to go” you say quickly hanging up the phone and rushing across the room. (Y/N) eyes flutter open and her heart rate monitor begins to beep faster as she gasps for air.
“Hey (Y/N)” you say so excited to finally see her eyes open again. You grip her hand and run your other up her arm. Her eyes struggle to stay open while you squeeze her hand “you’re okay skat” you say softly trying to reassure her.
Her heart is racing while she squirms in the bed “Fred” she mumbles opening her eyes again. Tears pour down your face, you didn’t think you would hear her beautiful voice again.
“(Y/N) you need to lie down, you can’t move” you hear a nurse say walking into the room as the beeping continues to increase, (Y/N) gasping for air. The nurse presses a button and you hear feet running into the floor while you are pushed out of the way, body going numb while you watch them inject something into her arm.
She begins to relax her body and falls back into the mattress, eyes closing in the process. You didn’t even notice she was bleeding until a nurse lifts the blanket and reveals a small pool between her legs. “Oh my god” you whisper as Dr. Lang comes running past you.
You watch the scene unfold, stumbling backward into the wall. You put an arm on it, bracing yourself trying to catch your breath. The voices and sounds are barely audible, all you can hear is the hustle and eagerness of the staff. You watch them pull her arm railings up and begin to wheel her out of the room.
You feel a hand touch your arm, and you turn your head to the left and see Dr. Lang. He is talking to you, but you can’t focus on the words having watched your entire world leave. You feel as though you are outside your body, watching everything unfold around you.
“Fred” he calls touching your arm again, his touch returns you to the surface.
You blink through your tears and wipe them away. “Fred did you hear me?” he asks as your eyes focus on his face.
“What?” you whisper, bringing the back of your palm up to wipe away the tears.
“The bleeding isn’t correcting itself, (Y/N) needs surgery now. I’m going to do an emergency C-section and then we’ll take them to the NICU to monitor them. After the C-Section Dr. Cooper and Dr. Muzek a general surgeon will operate on (Y/N). We need you to consent to the surgeries” he explains pushing a clipboard in front of you.
“Yeah of course” you say grabbing it and signing the form.
“She is in good hands, we’ll keep you updated on the progress” he says giving your arm a light squeeze before taking off down the hall toward the elevator.
Next Chapter
#frederik andersen#frederik andersen x reader#frederik andersen fic#frederik andersen smut#Freddie Andersen#freddie andersen smut#freddie andersen x reader#freddie andersen fic#fred andersen#fred andersen smut#fred andersen x reader#Fred Andersen Fic#nhl fic#nhl smut#because two people got drunk#my writing
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with Elizabeth Rowandale
Elizabeth Rowandale has 16 stories at Gossamer spanning from 1995 to 2012, plus she has more at AO3 (other fandoms too). She's been giftng the fandom with stories for a long time! I've talked about some of my favorites of her stories before, including Hallways and Water's Edge. Big thanks to Elizabeth for doing this interview.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
Yes and no. When I find myself suddenly caught up in a fandom that has already lived its glory days (which happens a lot, I'm habitually late to the party), I am always ravenous for fic written during the original run - it always has a different perspective and voice and it's like a little bit of the experience captured in time -- so I can understand how others would be interested in my past. That said, some of my early stuff is pretty awful. LOL. I have left it online for two reasons: 1. Nostalgia, 2. I know there are some fics I've read in my life that may not have been the best written in a literary sense, but just had something magical about them that fed exactly what I needed. And I would hate it if the author took down that work and I could never find it again (which has happened). So I try to respect that same sentiment should it appear in one of my readers. I'd say by about 6th or 7th season of the original run, my work became presentable. :) My largest X-Files work ("Water's Edge") was begun during the original run and completed about a year after the show ended. That one I definitely still claim as my work, even though there's certainly stuff I would fix if I were writing it now.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
So many things! Let's start with my husband. :D I met the love of my life on the X-Files newsgroup in spring of 1995. We were married a year later, and we are still married 24 years later and have a 20 year old daughter. One of the most important friendships of my life came from being part of this fandom - she began as an "Edgehead" during the original posting of "Water's Edge". The fandom brought me my family, friends, and made me believe in myself as a writer and, in some ways, as a person worth being friends with, for the first time in my life. It's kind of crazy, really, how different my life would be without it. The experience was not without its flaws. There was a lot of judgementalism, a lot of cliquishness, a lot of snobbery. I was condemned almost as much as I was welcomed. But in the end it was all worth the life experience.
As far as the fic itself, X-Files was my first real experience with fanfic, and it thoroughly spoiled me for all other fandoms forever, because the sheer VOLUME of professional quality work being put out there was mind-boggling. I expected all fandoms to be like this, and the fact is this is extremely rare and precious. I think I could read X-Files fic for the rest of my life and never run out of pieces worth reading.
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
I started out primarily on a.t.x.c.. Then progressed to mailing lists (especially Scullyfic/E-muse!), and later was very involved on The Haven. The Haven was quite a magical experience.
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
I think I answered this by over-babbling on the question above. :D But ultimately, I think I would have to say my belief in literature as a tool to connect people on an intimate level that almost nothing else can. To give people a brief moment of sharing their precious internal worlds and inviting someone else to step into it with them.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
Really, it was inevitable. It has all the classic tropes that have always spoken to me - Supernatural horror, law enforcement partners, partner UST, misfits as heroes, haunting soundtrack. But amusingly enough, my first impression of it was negative. My mother and I had been religiously watching "Sightings", a FOX reality show (before "reality shows" were a thing) on the supernatural. Then that got cancelled and they replaced it with some show that was about fictionalized encounters with and investigations of the paranormal. And we were like WTF we don't want that, we want real investigations and evidence! So I didn't watch it out of protest. :D Then one night I stumbled upon it when I had nothing to do and watched "Lazarus". I thought the show was okay, but that I could never really get invested in it because there was no real chemistry between Mulder and Scully (yes, you can laugh me out of the room now :D). But the thing is, you can't FIND the significant moments in that episode unless you're already embroiled in their world. Like when Mulder calls her "Dana" on the phone and we all know he's panicking big time -- this was my first episode, so I assumed he always called her Dana, no big. Some time passed, then I saw Conduit. And Tooms. And I started to get really sucked in. Then I saw Genderbender. Now, if you know me at all, you know since I was about 6 years old, my life has revolved around my current muse. I get obsessed with a certain actress/performer/character, and that becomes my lens for the whole world (yes, at 6 it was Lynda Carter as Diana Prince). I have always moved from one Muse to the next, and the few times I've been without a focus person I'm very untethered and unproductive. So, I'd been in one of my longest dry spells following my Madonna and Vivien Leigh obsessions, mostly focusing on reading Dean Koontz books, when X-Files came along. And this obsession was unique in that I can actually pinpoint the moment I fell. I was sitting in my bedroom watching Genderbender, and they were outside the general store and Scully had just been touched by Brother Andrew and was a little tripped out and staring after the horse and cart when Mulder stepped up to see if she was okay, and...I actually felt myself falling for Gillian Anderson. And there was this moment of both elation and bittersweetness, because I knew how all-consuming my obsessions could be and the emotional rollercoaster they could entail (especially when I was younger, I'm a little better armored now :)). But I have no control over when and where they hit. But I knew by the end of that episode that I was off on another wild ride of the muse. :)
So, the short answer is -- Gillian Anderson. :D
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
Truthfully, I can't experience anything without writing fanfic in my head. I've been doing it in one form or another my whole life, I just didn't know until the X-Files (and the internet) how many other people were like me!! I started writing X-Files fic before I was even online. In fact, The X-Files was the reason I got my first internet service - because the fandom was moving online and I didn't want to miss out. I read my first fanfic in the Unofficial X-Files Fanclub monthly zine and it fascinated me. I wrote my first X-Files fic, a first season story called "Silent Lines", before I had ever been on the internet, and I had it published in that same fanclub newsletter. (I was already writing original fiction, hoping to make writing my career). Later, after I had joined the internet XF community, I wrote a post-ep to "Irresistible" that I posted online. That was my first online fic. Some time after (and a few more fics down the road) when all the rights to "Silent Lines" had reverted to me, I posted that online as well.
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
I dabble now and then. :) When the reboot came about, I came back to the old stomping grounds and reconnected with some of the Old Guard. I still have a fair amount of pretty Mulder and Scully on my Twitter feed, and I continue to follow all Gillian Anderson's new projects. But it's not my primary focus at the moment. (My serial monogamist muse has another lover this year. :))
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
Several (Stargate, Sanctuary, Xena, Battlestar Galactica, Once Upon a Time, etc.). As I mentioned before, almost none of them had anywhere NEAR the quality and quantity of fanfic The X-Files has to offer. The closest I experienced was the Xena fandom. There are some AMAZING Uber fics and Conqueror fics, many of which went on to be published as original novels. Some fandoms were colder and more cruel than The X-Files. Some were warmer and more generous. I was most prolific during my years in the Stargate fandom. I wrote something like 80 fics. It was crazy. I don't think I'll ever be that prolific again.
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
Just from anything? From television Dana Scully, Stella Gibson, Laura Roslin, Sharon Raydor, Regina Mills. I love powerful women with scars. Kind women at heart who will fight for what they believe in and whom they love. Mothers - whether in actuality or at heart. I love women who prove strength and power can be completely synonymous with femininity.
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
A couple of months ago my husband and daughter and I finished a complete X-Files rewatch (original series and movies), taking our daughter through it for the first time. It was awesome to re-experience it all through her eyes. She grew up hearing about it, but had never seen more than a handful of episodes (and, sadly, the reboot LOL).
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
Every now and then I indulge in X-Files fic, yes. Sometimes new stuff, most often revisiting old favorites.
I definitely read in my current fandoms. For a few years I didn't, but lately I've been at it again. Right now my primary muse is Mary McDonnell, so I'm obsessing over her various roles through the years. Been reading fic for "Major Crimes", "Dances with Wolves", "Battlstar Galactica", "Passion Fish", and "ER" (specifically pertaining to Eleanor Carter).
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
Of course. :) Mish's "No Quarter Given" will always own my soul. [Lilydale note: It’s a 3-part story: 1, 2, 3.] "Black Hole Season" by Penumbra, "Above Rubies" by Rachel Howard, "Blinded by White Light" by DashaK, "Sounds of Silence" by GirlGone, "Blood Oranges" by Syntax6, "Absolute Zero" and "Never Enough" by August. So many more.
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
From X-Files, I can't really choose between "Water's Edge" which took the most out of me) and "Bridges" (which I wrote just a couple of year ago). I wrote them from very different places and I am proud of what I accomplished in each case. YMMV.
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
Never say never? :D I still feel badly that I left the sequel to "Water's Edge", "High Tide", hanging after posting just a few chapters. I never should have started it. My muse jumped ship to another fandom, and there was really nothing I could do. And I'm such a different person now, I don't know if what I would write now is what people who loved the first book would actually want to hear. I came back with the reboot and wrote "Bridges" and that largely said everything I needed to say about what happened to Mulder and Scully after "I Want to Believe". So, realistically, that was probably my XF writing swan song. But I would never say I won't ever post another fic. As the saying goes, "It all comes back to the X-Files". (And, yes, there's PLENTY of half-finished fic on my hard drive. LOL)
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
I do. Now that my kid is grown, I'm trying to seriously pursue a professional writing career from here forward. And I do still dabble writing fic in my current fandoms. Right now there is a Major Crimes fic sitting on my hard drive waiting for me to work up the nerve to post it.;)
Where do you get ideas for stories?
Once I'm inside my POV character's head, the narrative in my brain won't shut up. I flesh out and what-if everything. I fill in every moment that doesn't appear on screen. I talk to myself a lot and live in my head and sometimes scare family members. I get some sort of orgasmic high from things like seeing Laura Roslin grasp and tuck into her own hair when she's crying while my inner voice screams "OMG IT'S CANON SHE SELF-SOOTHES WITH HER HAIR!!!!!" I maintain a surprisingly sane outer presentation for the crazy obsessed artist I am within.
What's the story behind your pen name?
When I began removing my real name from the internet (for you young folks, we all started out using our Real Names and building our virtual houses on Geocities, then got warned from everywhere of the scary scary place that is cyberspace and started NEVER EVER using our real names, then Facebook came along and now everyone and their dog is out there with their real names, and Gen X is still going WTF ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!??), I simply chose what I found to be a pretty last name (Rowandale). Elizabeth is my real name. Along the way, when I had started to feel confined by expectations for my writing based on my reputation, I challenged myself to be more honest in what I wanted to write by using the mental trick of a pen name no one knew was actually me, and invented "Rowan Darkstar" (the darker "edgier" side of Elizabeth Rowandale). "Rowan" was taken from Rowan Mayfair in Anne Rice's "The Witching Hour", my favorite novel at the time. Later, I went public with the fact I was Rowan Darkstar, and when I moved into my next fandom, I did so with that as my primary name. I have written in most of my fandoms as either Rowan Darkstar or LadyRowan with the exception of anything else Gillian Anderson related wherein I carried over the Elizabeth Rowandale since there were many crossover readers from X-Files.
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
Many of them do, yes. For many years my mother was my primary beta reader!! Sadly, she now suffers from dementia and can no longer fill that role. My best friend came into my life through my Stargate and Sanctuary fic, so there's no hiding from her, and she is now my beta.:) My husband met me in the fandom. So...yeah, most of my close friends know.:) In my 'other life' as an Army wife (now retired) and suburban Mom not so much.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
The most reliable place is probably AO3. It doesn't have much of my older stuff, but I generally post anything new there. I'm Rowan_D on Twitter.
Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files?
No, you can't be red/green colorblind and be a field agent for the FBI. No, soul groups don't work that way, Scully would have been his lover in some lifetimes, too. Yes, someone with Scully's education and deliberate precision of language WOULD say "for whom?" and not "for who?", you are quite right to cringe. No, you can't drive to Quantico and back to downtown DC and have it still be morning. And lastly -- The Kansas town after which they modeled "The Rain King" is NOT brown, it is NOT flat, it HAS a regional airport, and the residents are educated and intelligent. I lived there at the time -- There was a whole layout in the local paper about the crew visiting for "authenticity." I still marvel at how that is even possible.
(Posted by Lilydale on August 25, 2020)
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4Gamer.net GGST Interview with
Daisuke Ishiwatari and Akira Katano!
4Gamer.net Interview with Akira Katano/Daisuke Ishiwatari
Translation: Yours truly! (Gear-Project)
4Gamer:
Thanks for your Time today. In less than a month, the game will go on sale June 11th, so please tell us your current feelings.
*(Note: Interview was held on May 18th.)*
Ishiwatari [I]:
Normally, the development would be over, and I think that it's still a feeling of "please play this everyone", but for us the release date is over. Instead, I think it's all in the timing of the beginning. It's a feeling of what to do in the future.
Katano [K]:
You can see from the point when the 2nd Open Beta was conducted (May 14th to 16th), we are still developing and verifying everything. Of course, we will continue to adjust the game even after it is released, but for the time being, we are working hard to provide a full-package game that will satisfy our users on the release date.
4Gamer: This work was originally scheduled for release on April 9th, but the release date was extended to June 11th. Could you elaborate on the reasons for the delay?
I:
Biggest reason was that we received a lot of opinions about the processing and specifications around the Network. It took some time to meet those demands.
4Gamer: Didn't you get an opinion on the battle balance?
K:
Of course, there are also those aspects. In the open beta, we were observing the movements of various players throughout distribution, etc. and receieved many opinions. I think it was a necessary measure to aim for something more ideal.
4Gamer: The 2nd open beta test was conducted on May 14th. How was the response from the players here?
I:
In a phrase: pros and cons. It was more pronounced than the first beta.
4Gamer: How about from a developer's point of view?
K: I feel that it was meaningful to conduct the open beta test again before the release. Around online, a server error occurred even during the second beta, which caused trouble for the players, but it was great that we could confirm the cause before the release and fix it, I think.
Also, regarding the battle system, there were some elements that changed in fundamental areas from the first and second beta. There was both positive and negative opinions from the players about them. As for what kind of adjustment will be provided on the release date? I'm glad that I had the opportunity to consider it again.
4Gamer: I also played in the 2nd Open Beta Test, but I felt that there were quite extreme adjustments in terms of battle balance from the 1st. Was that intentionally made extreme?
K: If I said it was intentional, it may be a little misleading. However, to be honest, there was a part that was adjusted to the point that the product version would NOT be as extreme.
4Gamer: When that happens, there's a possibility that the product version will be considerably adjusted from the 2nd Open Beta version.
K: At this point, we are aware that we CANNOT sell the product as it is. After analyzing all the contents and feedback of each of the 1st and 2nd sessions, we will continue to make adjustments up to the last minute, aiming for the final product version.
4Gamer: By the way, what was the most popular request from the players at the end of the first session?
I:
Most common area was around the Lobby.
K:
Most of the opinions were that the lobby was difficult to use and it was difficult to play against each other. The development team also participated in the beta test from the users' point of view and agreed with everyone, so I felt that it was necessary to fundamentally revise the revision before the release.
4Gamer:
In terms of battle balance, there were many opinions that the aerial options were too strong in the first test. In the second test, I feel that some extreme adjustments were made, such as shortning the flight distance of jump, adding landing recovery after aerial actions, and strengthening anti-air attacks.
K:
As I mentioned earlier, it's certain that we've made some extreme adjustments (for the 2nd test).
4Gamer: When I actually played it, I felt the degree of freedom around aerial moves was reduced compared to last time.
K:
To be clear, it was cramped. We recognized that as well. After analyzing user feedback, we are currently deciding where to land.
I:
Regarding the dissatisfaction with the actions side, we expected that such a voice would come out. However, there was a possibility that something I didn't notice might come in to view, so I decided to steer a lot this time.
4Gamer:
It was quite literally a 'test'. By the way, I think that the past GUILTY GEAR Series was mainly about aerial combat. Is it the idea where you wanted to emphasize ground warfare because you dared to reduce jumping?
I:
I'm not sure because it's free to play (the beta), but I'd like you to think so. One of the problems with the previous Guilty Gear was that it was attractive for 'free aerial combat' and the difficulty there was too high. It's a recognition that it's too difficult for new players to come in.
Difficulty of operation included aerial battle, combo length, etc. had to be remade to some extent for new players and alleviated. The result of a comprehensive review of these is the current form.
However, I don't want you to misunderstand that just because the difficult part was simplified does not mean that it has become easier as a fighting game. I think the game has become more severe in the bargaining part as the risk in actions has increased. (GP's note: yes, very Samurai-Shodown-like).
K:
I've always wanted to make the first step of the stairs easier to touch and play, but I don't think it's easy as a game design. We are designing with the hope of providing "Guilty Gear-ness" that integrates the difficulties and severity that are different from previous series.
The story of aerial warfare is the same, and I don't want to make jumps separately. We would like to provide free bargaining and technicality that makes use of the aerial behavior that is unique to "Guilty Gear", however, since the past work was like this, it is NOT the idea that it should be so this time as well. (It doesn't have to be the same as last time, in other words.)
[The balance is "wild adjustment" emphasis on fun, not strength.]
4Gamer:
Please tell us about character adjustments. Is there a direction or guideline for overall adjustment? In the 1st and 2nd tests, it was Potemkin that was adjusted in an easy-to-understand manner, and I felt that a lot of elements were weakened.
K:
Regarding adjustments, first of all, we value the character's strengths, charm, and fever points. For example, the Potemkin of this work is designed so that the command throwing Potemkin Buster can do unprecedented damage. This part has not changed since the last test.
I:
As with the previous Potemkin, there was a fact that he was a grappling character, but he was strong "without" throwing. Therefore, I try to reconstruct that part to push out the charm of a grappling character.
4Gamer:
If you are attracted to grapplers, it would be nice to have a lot of charm in throwing techniques. By the way, do you have any idea/plans to intentionally add elements that the users may be looking for when making adjustments?
K:
No, this work provides a new starting line, so I try not to be aware of it as much as possible (ouch!). To be honest, I can't say that there is none at all. However, the word "user" ultimately refers to the player who has played the past work, so instead of intentionally approaching it, the emphasis is on preparing a new concept and designing weapons and weaknesses. I put that down and make it.
I:
In past works, there were some contradictions, such as a long-distance character with strong close combat, and a throwing character with strong attacks. We are developing to match the character concept that we and the player think of so that people who start from this work will not be confused.
In addition, although the term "wild adjustment" has been used for some time, when making the adjustments, the emphasis is on "whether it is interesting or not" rather than the parts that are strong or weak. Anyway, sharpen the sharp part and drop the parts to be dropped. It's like getting paid.
K:
As Ishiwatari says, in the end, fun is more important than balance. Therefore, I don't want to sharpen the charm and weapons of the character. In addition, it is often desirable to adjust the upper features to strengthen the whole, but I do not think that it is correct that as a result of strengthening, many characters who can do anything will be born.
However, in the past works, as the series progressed, there were times when quite a few characters became versatile. Because it's a game with a long history, elements that make up for weaknesses were often added.
I:
There was also the aspect that being able to do anything would lead to the individuality of the player.
K:
The starting line for the adjustment was what to do with this work, taking into account the historical facts as they were, regardless of whether it was good or bad.
4Gamer:
Please tell us about the Netcode. In this work, ARC's original rollback netcode was adopted. How was the response on the development side in the 2nd Open Beta Test?
K:
It's not that there were no problems at all, but I think that the overall results were very good. In particular we received very positive opinions from overseas players. There may have been many players who were dissatisfied with the delay method.
I:
There are FOUR time differences in the United States! (lol time zones)
K:
It's not comfortable in Japan and Brazil, but it's now possible to enjoy a comfortable match in Japan and South Korea, or in the United States. I feel a great response from the development.
4Gamer:
With Rollback netcode, it seems possible to realize online battle events in remote areas. For example, it may be interesting to carry out regional competitions that were held during the heyday of arcades.
I:
I don't think young players today know that there was a regional competition. Since we are from an Arcade Field, we want to know more about the Arcade Culture.
K:
I think that the goodness, enthusiasm, and enjoyment of the events we held at arcades in the past will surely be passed on to the new generation and must be passed on. This is true for all fighting game events. I think there are many cultures and merits of the community that only people who have been playing fighting games for a long time know, and I haven't been able to convey them to the new generation. I want to deliver the charm of fighting games in a new way.
[Season Pass Adds 5 people, including completely new characters!]
4Gamer: Next, please tell us about your character. We were able to use 15 characters in the 2nd Open Beta Test. will this be all the characters at the time of launch?
I:
That's right.
4Gamer: Anji Mito hasn't participated since the Guilty Gear XX Series. Was Anji Mito scheduled to appear from the beginning of development?
I:
No, he was just one of the candidates. As with any work, even right down to the last frame, the characters will still be a worry until it's finalized.
K:
Regarding Anji Mito, it was planned that we would pick a character who did not appear in the Guilty Gear Xrd Series, and I remember that's what decided it.
I:
I really want to put out more characters. The more characters there are in a fighting game, the more fun it is. In that sense, I would like to provide you with new characters as soon as possible. (Ishiwatari wants a HUGE roster, hah!)
K:
I have a desire to have all the characters that appeared previously in the series. As always, I'm sorry for the fans of the characters who have been waiting for us.
4Gamer:
Who is the most difficult character to select among the 15 characters?
I:
First of all, there was a concept that we wanted to release the initial characters of the first GUILTY GEAR, and so 9 character slots were filled. All of the following 6 characters were a concern, so I don't think anyone was the best.
4Gamer:
Leo and Ramlethal are characters from the Guilty Gear Xrd Series, so some fans were surprised to participate in the conflict.
K:
For those who are playing from Guilty Gear Xrd, I was thinking of releasing either Ramlethal or Elphelt, which are the representative characters, from the beginning. But this time, Ramlethal was chosen.
I:
For the fans of Guilty Gear Xrd, I wanted to bring out the recognized characters rather than making them completely different. However, with Leo I really didn't bother so much, because I wanted to put him out there.
K:
Since it was decided to implement Story Mode, whether or not it was a character that appeared in the story had some influence on the character selection. Although the cost is different between the battle and the story, since it is based on the same character model, there was talk of wanting to make some characters in the story playable.
I:
It feels a little strange that you can't use the characters that are active in the story in the first place.
K:
In that sense, Leo is a character that is quite involved in the story.
4Gamer:
Who are your favorite characters, Mr. Ishiwatari and Mr. Katano?
K:
Nagoriyuki. I like his visuals and performance, and if I'm playing, I'll definitely pick him.
I:
I will be Sol this time. The finish is selfish, and I feel that the character settings and performance match.
K:
As with all characters, after throwing away the battle image so far and thinking about how to fight like Sol, that's the end result. Each character in this work has a situation that they are good at, and if you bring it into the situation, you will be able to demonstrate strength that can be said to be somewhat unreasonable.
4Gamer:
Mr. Katano mentioned earlier that he likes Nagoriyuki, and in this sense he is a rushdown character, I feel the image fits him perfectly.
K:
It may be easy to understand the timing when a strong rush is set along with other weaknesses. However, this is something that all characters are aware of, not just Nagoriyuki. If you can prepare your favorite situation individually for each character, it will be established as a fighting game in which various types of characters fight.
Of course, it may be compatible with the character, but I don't think it is necessary to forcibly flatten them.
4Gamer:
In the popularity poll held the other day, Ramlethal was the most popular in all regions at home and abroad.
I:
To be honest, it was really surprising.
K:
Ramlethal dominated 1st place, but Giovnna and Nagoriyuki were also in the top. Since the popularity polls in the Guilty Gear Series always have major characters like Sol and Ky at the top, it is interesting that the characters who participated during Guilty Gear Xrd were selected at the top.
4Gamer:
Please tell us about the designs of the new characters. What kind of concepts did Nagoriyuki and Giovanna come from?
I:
Visuals of Nagoriyuki came from the forefront of the story. I'd say that I drew what came to mind as it was, and the pencil ran on its own. On the contrary, Giovanna had a lot of problems. Because of her profession as a Secret Service bodyguard for the President, I couldn't design her too eccentrically, and in a sense I settled on a character that didn't look like a GUILTY GEAR character.
It was a nice miscalculation for her to get into the top of the popularity poll.
4Gamer:
Regarding the design, does the visual come from the character settings? Or is there a reverse pattern?
I:
It's already case by case. Sometimes it's born with settings, sometimes it's because I wanted a character that looks like this. For example, with regard to Giovanna, the unique silhouette of wearing wide pants is characteristic, but this came to mind even before the image of Giovanna was created.
K:
Our team may always be thinking about how to make a particular silhouette or action look cool. Speaking of Nagoriyuki, there was a strong desire to express the behavior of a sword master in a cool way.
I:
The movement of the blood attacks along the sword, we call the movement a blood swing, we think we produced a cool movement with it.
K:
The current team is unique, and that kind of story comes first. I want to make my blood look cool, so I'm trying to implement this kind of motion. I don't see this kind of thing on other teams.
4Gamer:
The image of Faust has changed significantly compared to the old character.
I:
In the first place, the idea was to renew all the characters to the extent that the image was not spoiled. Faust is a character characterized by comical actions, but many of its sources are only familiar to Japanese people. There was still a part that seemed to be a drifter to expand globally (laughs). As a result of his image and backbone being made to live in an interesting way, it became the current visual.
4Gamer:
Regarding characters, it was announced that 5 people will be added in the first Season Pass. How long until this will be added? Also, do you plan to add some characters from completely new or old works?
K:
We will not be able to give a specific character name by the time it is released, but we plan to announce when it will be added. Five people have already been decided, and I would like to release them as soon as possible!
I:
I always try to add one or more completely new characters to the five.
[The story of Sol that started from the first GUILTY GEAR is now complete.]
4Gamer:
Speaking of the Guilty Gear Series, songs and BGM are also highly evaluated. Is Mr. Ishiwatari in charge of them in this work as well?
I:
I leave the BGM production for the story mode to someone else, but I composed all the vocal songs for the fighting game part.
4Gamer:
Is there anything you are conscious of when composing?
I:
In this work, I have abandoned what I had been conscious of before. I used to think that if this song was played during a battle, it would be an emotional scene, but I didn't dare be aware of that. The emphasis was on the backbone of the characters, projecting their drama more intensely than before.
K:
This time, the theme of the character, including the lyrics, is strongly featured. At the moment, only a part of it is open to everyone, so please look forward to it.
4Gamer:
Who will your favorite song belong to?
I:
I really like Ramlethal's song, and I have decided to make this song the title of the album. She is a character who recognizes "Necessary Waste", and in a sense, it is close to the theme of GUILTY GEAR. I decided that her theme would be suitable for the title of the album.
K:
I especially like Leo's Song, but all the songs have different charms. I want you to listen carefully after the release.
4Gamer:
Tell us about the Story. In this work, it is said that the relationship between "That Man" (Asuka R. Kreutz) and Sol will be settled, but as a story, will it be the curtain once here?
I:
As far as I can tell, the story of a "man named Sol" will draw to an end. A Story Mode has been prepared from the Guilty Gear Xrd Series, and Sol has developed in the story as the Main Character. In this work, he talks about what kind of answer he will give to the world in the wake of the incident that started from the past work in simple words. I'm really curious about how you'll feel. So I'd love to hear from you.
In addition, the story mode of this work changes the expression method. Where Guilty Gear Xrd (Sign) was the format of an adventure game (visual novel), Xrd Revelator was an animation (anime style), but this time it looks like a movie (fully animated film).
K:
The other day, I released a part of the story mode, but there are opinions that it looks like a movie as intended.
I:
Originally, I was particular about how the 3D looks like an animation and how comfortable it is, but this time I'm using 3D to incorporate cinematic techniques and camera angles.
K:
With Guilty Gear Xrd, the flow was to make 3D look like a 2D animation, whether it was a battle or a story. In this work, we have evolved it into a powerful expression that makes the most of 3D.
4Gamer:
I think it was refreshing because the camera work during the battle sometimes switched to an angle that was not found in past games.
K:
We are repeating the verification on the part of whether coolness and fun as a game can be compatible.
I:
This is also the part that I have been searching for all this time.
K:
However, whenever I decided to adopt a new and cool angle, I became worried. I used to go back to the 2D method when I was at a loss.
In this work, the scene change does not change mechanically, but the camera follows the movement of the character. Knowing that the core fighting game fans would criticize me, the idea was that this was the only time to go on an adventure.
I:
Of course, after going through the beta test, I would try to correct the Overkill.
4Gamer:
It is said that the story of Sol will be completed, but people think that Guilty Gear will end.
I:
I can't give you a specific story, but I have a plan in mind for future developments. It may be after or before the story of Sol, but I'm thinking about how the story of GUILTY GEAR will unfold. This isn't about making or not making games, it's about notes in your head.
4Gamer: --That will continue.
K:
That's what Ishiwatari always says, but it's difficult to express (laughs).
I:
It's a boring story, but since GUILTY GEAR is a very important IP for us, we can't just cut it off. However, it is certain that this work will make a break for the time being.
K:
I think that the parts that were not told in this story will be complemented in other ways.
I:
Earlier, Mr. Yasuhiro Naito, the creator of "Trigun" that I was with at an American event said, "It's better to finish things than to make them." I've always thought that I had to complete it properly.
K:
Fans have told me that this work will never end.
I:
It's over properly (laughs). I've been thinking about the theme of the story from the beginning, and it's still the same. To all the fans, please look forward to it!
4Gamer:
Please tell us if you have any plans for pre-launch or post-launch events or e-sports development.
K:
We will release new information before the release, and we plan to hold tournament events that players can enjoy and events that a wide range of players can enjoy even after the release.
I:
I would like to hold a new type of event that suits the current situation. Offline events are easy for us from arcades to get together and enjoy, but I think there are some parts that were difficult for those who weren't.
K:
For the past three years, I've been desperate to make games, so I'd like to do that as well. I would like to develop something that can be enjoyed with the players.
4Gamer:
Finally, do you have a message for the fans who are looking forward to the release of this work?
K:
This work was created with an emphasis on playability and ease of entry for those who touch it for the first time. However, I have never made it shallow as a fighting game. We have prepared the elements that we should work on and the world that we can see beyond. It will be operated for a long time, so all players can experience it.
I:
Rather than being a continuation of the GUILTY GEAR SERIES, it was created with the aim of being a completely new fighting game. I think that even new players can enjoy it, so I hope you will be interested and touch it.
And in this work, one episode of the long Guilty Gear Series will be completed. I think that we have been able to deliver something neat to those who have followed the story for a long time, so please look forward to the ending. In addition, for those who come into contact with the world of Guilty Gear from this work, we have prepared movies and manga of the past series on the official website and YouTube. I hope you will check this out as well and enjoy it.
4Gamer:
Thank you both for your time today. (May 18th, 2021)
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9 Things I’d like to see at E3, 2021
So E3 2021 is a thing. It’s gonna be all digital, and several companies have already signed up to join, sounds like a good deal, but the question is, will it be what we normally expect out of E3, or will it be more like Summer Game Fest Last Year, where everything that looked like it was gonna be great, but just turned out to be okay? Who can say, but I have some...suggestions, that might make it better, along with some game announcements, that might make it all it should be cracked up to be.
9. No low quality, at home interviews during the main show
E3 has had a history of doing interviews during game shows to try and break pace a little, and keep people from being too excited, only to potentially be let down later. However, possibly the worst problem with Summer Game Fest last year, was the at home interviews, which broke pacing during game announcements in a way I can’t imagine was on purpose, and for many, was the time to take a bathroom break, or simply look away for a while. It’s important of course to hear from developers about their projects, and they can divulge some interesting information about games, that either puts something confusing into context, or is accidently leaked, but when we watch shows about game releases, we want to see the games. Interviews should be held in between shows, or better yet, the days following the conferences themselves.
8. Nintendo finally talks about the big three
While it’s safe to say Nintendo has done some banger numbers over the last year espeically, due to better console availability, which I never thought I’d say about Nintendo but here we are, it’s also safe to say that fans have been waiting for literal years on Bayonetta 3, Metroid Prime 4, and Breath of the Wild 2. While some have been more patient than others, and of course I understand there’s a flipping pandemic going on, Nintendo told us far too long ago about these games, or the restart of their development, and Breath of the Wild 2 was promised to at least get an update this year, and E3 seems like the best place to do it, especially after their last direct, one that was more than a year in waiting, and left so many people disappointed. And this is coming from someone who had literally only hoped to be excited about one thing, and it didn’t happen The future of how they present games, almost feels like it’s in question after such a show, which did not justify itself, so hopefully, they can finally let everyone walk away happy, and talk about the projects that have been generation the most excitement, for literal years now.
7. Space things out better
You might now know this, I only made one list about it after all, and literally no one reacted to it, but I’m a huge wrestling fan, and one of the promotions I watch, is WWE. Now, WWE is about to launch WrestleMania, their equal to E3 in a lot of ways, and are splitting it up over two days, and that goes for their third brand NXT as well, because they have a history of making the show sometimes 8 hours long. For fans of video games, watching The Game Awards, which can be two to three hours long, is arduous, and tiring, and E3, can also have that same effect. I remember in 2019, I literally fell asleep watching Bethesda’s conference, because I was so tired trying to write about the previous shows in between them, never mind actually watching them, that I was burnt out. Since E3 is going fully digital this year, and everyone is going to be in that same boat, it would be nice if we didn’t have too many shows, spanning over a near 12 hour period, which was happened before, making people stay up late to enjoy what they want to, or you know, work, which is free promotion for whatever gets announced. Spacing the shows out to no more than three a day, and giving people enough time to get their thoughts together, would just be really nice.
6. Devolver Digital, tries a different style
Look, I don’t hate Devolver Digital’s approach to talking about games at E3, but what I do hate, is them telling the same jokes over and over again, and expecting everyone to laugh, because you know, it’s so funny when something that’s already been said, or shown, is modified ever so slightly for years on end. I’m not saying they can’t still tell jokes, please do, E3 is as much a good time as it is stressful depending on who you are, so the change of pace can at times be a lot of fun, but the last time they had a “conference”, it was a slog, and generally left me feeling annoyed, and I can’t help but feel I’m not the only one. They want to be different, I say that’s great, but they need to do it in a way that for one, is actually different, because their style has become a cliché in and of itself, and where they don’t spend time talking about fake games, because it’s hard to know at times what’s real and what isn’t. I honestly thought the last time they did one, the final game they talked about was just a play on the “one more thing” trope conferences have, and when I later realized it wasn’t, I never got that first sense of hype, and so lost interest, and that’s not a good business model. We don’t even know at this point if they’re going to declare for E3, and since it was announced late, it might be too hard to get a show at all, but if they do show up, or even when they next do a conference, it would be nice if they considered this line of thinking.
5. Drop the “Exclusive Online Portal” idea
Yeah I don’t know what the ESA was thinking with this one, but they mentioned that E3 will be streaming from an exclusive online portal, and not only do we not know what that means, but no one flipping cares! We’re all going to watching it on YouTube, Twitch, or dare I say it but it’s possible, Facebook Gaming, and any other platform is completely useless. We are all tired of hearing, download a new program to do a thing you can already do on other platforms, PC gamers especially, stop releasing new flipping launchers and...sorry, that’s for another list in the future perhaps, but the point stands. You might get streamers to download, or go to whatever site they need to, to watch the shows, but everyone else, is either going to watch those streams, or as it often happens, watch the highlights at a later time, so to add a potentially extra step to that process, is just not going to go anywhere, and since E3 will be free to watch, it’s not like this is going to be a good way to make money, unless you do plan to do the following...
4. Throwing flipping ads at everyone between shows or otherwise
Look, I get it, even an online show that’s going to be talking about games costs money to make, and so money must be made by other means, many of which are not available to the ESA without people actually being present, but the thing about E3 is, as much as we all love it, it is one massive ad, and even though it’s an add we like, it’s not one that needs too many ads thrown at it beyond what it already has. There are other, less annoying ways to make money, like having products from the games announced be available at a store online that people can access, that sees them getting part of the profit, or something of that nature, but this portal that was mentioned, seems like a place where the ESA can just throw ads at people all day, and that just seems like a horrible idea. A lot of people don’t see E3 as an ad, even though it absolutely is, and blowing away the smoke and mirrors that it’s not, by throwing countless ads at people for the sake of trying to make money, might be the end of E3 as we know it.
3. Don’t spend too much time talking about games that are coming out close to the event, or just came out
Like I said, E3 is one big, massive ad, and for the most part, that’s totally alright, but E3 also has a habit of sneaking in little bits talking about games, that are coming out during the week of, or very close to the shows, to the point of being annoying. Most of the time these ads are short, show nothing new, and generally kill the pace of the conferences on display. While it’d be one thing to try and shadow drop a game this way, because we all love a good shadow drop, we really don’t need ads for games like FF7 Intergrade, Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart, or flipping Mario Golf: Super Rush. We know those games are coming, we are paying attention, give us a little credit, and save that for games that could use the push like Neptunia: ReVerse, Legend of Mana, or maybe even Scarlett Nexus who actually in way, has to compete with Mario Golf. This might be more a developer problem, and E3 itself might actually have little to no control over this, but whoever does it, needs to do it right.
2. Xbox needs to stop lying, and go big
I love Xbox, I really do, for whatever reason it’s become my go to place for physical indie games, and whenever I want to play a shooter, I start thinking green, but in their conferences, Phil Spencer has a tendency to oversell what Xbox is going to show, by talking about how many games are going to be at the show, or by constantly mentioning how Xbox is more powerful than it’s competitor consoles, like it does any good for the bottom line of the company. I don’t want to hear Phil say they are going to show off 80 games during their show, and have half of them be ports, or shown off in a montage. Doing that means everyone has to go look up a large portion of what they actually announce to learn anything, and that’s no fun. I don’t want montages during E3 at all, and while I’m at it, Xbox espeically needs to bring in the big guns. I’m talking Halo Infinite, Gears 6, the next Forza game, and maybe, finally, a Japanese exclusive title that will get people really hyped. Xbox might just have free reign over the show on the day they present, but another show that has extremely mixed opinions like in 2019, might not be the best thing ever.
1. GET. SONY.
Obviously we know that Sony and the PlayStation brand haven’t been associated with E3 for a while now, and I get it, it’s kind of hard to justify going down to L.A. every year, when an online digital show, saves a whole bunch of money, and can get people just as hyped as if they had been there, but this year, everything is online, and Sony’s State of Play’s have been a mixed reaction as a whole. Taking them to E3 not only sets up more hype for them, but it also gives people something they really need right now, something close to the norm, with all of console developers, showing off their best. E3 2019, just felt weaker, and too safe without Sony there, and last year was a total, long winded disaster because of Summer Game Fest. If the ESA is really going to go for this, and give it an earnest shot, and give us the best that they can, they need Sony to show up and blow our minds with, I don’t know, God of War 2, Spyro 4 (hopefully) and a new IP or two to really get the show to being considered one of the best. E3 will probably be alright regardless of if they are there or not, but if they are, the chances of it being truly great, go up in spades.
And that’s my list, did I miss anything else you can think of? Let me know in the comments below, like this list if it interested you, reblog it if you love it, and have a wonderful day.
#e3#e3 2021#e3 2019#sony#playstation#playstation 4#playstation 5#xbox#xbox series x#xbox series s#xbox one#nintendo#Nintendo Direct#nintendo switch#Bayonetta#bayonetta 3#Metroid#metroid prime#metroid prime 4#zelda#breath of the wild#breath of the wild 2#devolver digital#ads#twitch#youtube#summer games#summer game fest#halo infinite#gears of war
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