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jungkookschin · 8 months

Text

older

think i need someone older, just a little bit colder, take the weight off your shoulders

synopsis: all your friends say you're delusional for thinking you have a chance with jungkook, the handsome older man you've known since forever, but you just can't seem to let him go. word count: 18k

pairing: older!jungkook x afab reader

genre: age gap au (seven years), social media au!!!, childhood acquaintance au, fluff, comedy, angsty, outta pocket, alludes to sexual innuendoes warnings: character death (not jk or y/n), cursing, nudity,

author's note: i am so overwhelmed with the support i've gotten for this fic!! obviously this isn't going to be the best written fanfic, but i genuinely enjoyed writing it!! and yes, there will be a part 2!

PART 1 | PART 2

“Girl.. be for real. He doesn’t want you.” Beomgyu’s opinion bounces off your bedroom wall but shoots into your heart like an arrow; you subtly glare at him through your vanity mirror. Though, the Snorlax plush headband and unblended concealer in triangles under your eyes is far less than intimidating.

“Okay, fuck you-”

Beomgyu shrugs. “You can wear all the makeup in the world and you would never get his attention,” he nonchalantly utters, not caring enough to even look at you while he addresses you. You pout, sulking as Beomgyu’s very real assertion settles into your system.

Jeon Jungkook would never see you that way.

He adores you because you’ve been acquainted since childhood- your parents being close friends. He’s seven years older than you and has witnessed you blossom from a childish boy-crazy kid to an equally boy-crazy adult, the same way you’ve seen him go from a prepubescent pre teen to a hot, older, rich, man.

“Look, and that’s not to say that you’re not pretty or whatever because you are pretty and a lot of guys want you, but Jungkook… he’s just too old for you,” he offers you an empathetic smile before attempting to assuage the petulance in the air. “Honestly, I would be even more concerned if he responded to your advances because that would be.. hella weird.”

Beomgyu’s claims often transform your brain into a philosophical battlefield. Would it really be all that inappropriate for Jungkook to see you as a woman? An age gap of seven years holds no real significance if you were both in your 20’s, right? But does Jungkook knowing you since childhood completely nullify any chance you have with him?

“Oh fuck off with that. I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m already 19 years old, almost 20-”

“The delusion is never escaping this one…” Beomgyu mumbles. He finally looks up from his phone when you spring up from your chair and stomp over to him. You hold your manicured claw up to scratch his face, but Beomgyu grabs your wrist before you can do any damage.

“You’re such a horse girl, don’t try to scratch me- wait are you crying?” Beomgyu’s gaze melts after noticing the tears accumulating in your waterline.

“No!” you respond, the tip of your nose becoming slightly red. You raise your sleeve to wipe your nose.

“Wait Y/N! You’re going to get makeup all over my hoodie!-”

Beomgyu halts when he sees your unblended concealer transfer onto his very white and expensive hoodie. His lips form into a straight line while he stares at you blankly.

“Sorry?” you squeak. He gestures dramatically- blinking at you like a pissed off owl.

…

You bolt to the door, sprinting from Beomgyu before he quickly follows in pursuit of you. You run through the house, tumbling down the stairs frantically, and when you turn the corner, you stub your toe against the wall, stumbling over and falling flat on your face.

You shriek in pain, holding onto your toe. Your eyes immediately tear up, sobbing through the pain blistering in your toe. And for some reason, Beomgyu is nowhere to be found.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You freeze when none other than Jungkook pops out of his room, completely shirtless with nothing but gray sweats on. His abs are literally ripping in your face and his entire sleeve of beautiful tattoos are practically mocking you- especially the mask one. It's laughing in your face because it gets to be on Jungkook’s body and you don’t.

You begin to cry even harder. No physical pain would ever compare to the pain of not being able to have him.

“Whoa, whoa, what happened?” Jungkook kneels down and takes your foot in his large hands.

Thank God you got your toes done the day before. His thumbs press into the balls of your feet while he carefully inspects your toes. “Not fractured, I think. Think you can get up, baby?”

Baby. He’s been calling you that stupid nickname since forever. That’s what everybody used to call you when you were younger; you were the youngest of all your parents’ friends’ kids after all. But for some reason, the nickname only seemed to stick with Jungkook. He has this horrible tendency (not really) of doting on you, taking care of you, and spoiling you to oblivion.

You sniffle, shaking your head.

Jungkook’s handsome face crinkles into a subtle laughter, an amused expression etched onto his features. He takes his pointer finger and thumb, pinching your nostrils and wiping your snot onto his sweats.

You smile sheepishly, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

This man will literally touch your feet and boogers as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. That has to mean something, right?

Jungkook scoops you into his arms bridal style and takes you into his room.

Why Jungkook has a room in your house is beyond you. It seems like he was always over doing some errands for your parents- not that you were complaining, of course. He sets you down on his bed and uses his large palm to smooth over the frizzy hairs that are sticking up.

“Just stay here for a while. I’ll take you to Urgent Care if it hurts in a few hours.”

Truth be told, that shit didn’t even hurt anymore, but there’s no way you were going to pass this opportunity up. You nuzzle into Jungkook’s sheets, his masculine smell absolutely amplifying your will to live. His cologne smells so good, the musky elegance of his scent making you dizzy as you bask in his essence.

Anyways! Looks like you’re canceling your plans with Beomgyu. Apparently, he already knows that.

Shutting your phone off, your eyes drift towards Jungkook, owlishly blinking at the computer code projected onto his large monitor. He’s got everything going for him: rich, hot, smart, successful. You want to cry again. “Jungkook, can I ask you something?”

His focus remains on the screen, eyes still boring onto the monitor before he absentmindedly responds, “Sup?”

“What would you do if a bear, a lion, and a gorilla just walked into this room right now?”

Jungkook’s fingers pause, hovering above his light up keyboard. He swivels around in his chair, his handsome features crinkling in evident confusion.

“I’m serious. What would you do if a bear, a lion, and a gorilla showed up in your room? If you aren’t able to answer the question, then I don’t really know if I feel safe here,” you elaborate as you gesture with your hands, the bratty tone laced in your voice attempting to guilt trip him for not having a backup plan for this very specific specific situation.

“Easy. I would feed you to them and then escape,” Jungkook bites back a cheeky smile before spinning around and returning to his work.

You gasp dramatically, pouting before you pull his covers over your head.

Jungkook hums to himself, laughing at how obnoxious you can be.

Later on, another question is conjured in your imaginative little mind, and Jungkook’s lip twitches when he hears your classic Jungkook, I have another question.

“Hmmm?”

“Do you think you could put me on with your piercing guy?”

Jungkook swivels around in his chair once again. “Thought you already had your ears and belly pierced.”

“It’s not enough. I want more. Wanna be like you,” you murmur, eyes settling on his five piercings decorating his left lobe, the one in his eyebrow, and the two on his lips.

“It is enough,” he immediately counters, “You shouldn’t put holes in your body.”

You cock a brow at him. “I know you’re not talking.”

Jungkook’s lip twitches upwards at your cheekiness. “Yea, I’ll send you his instagram. Tell him you’re with me and he’ll squeeze you in as soon as possible.”

“And I told Soobin to not piss in the water bottle, but he did anyway. And guess what? I almost drank from the same water bottle. Can you believe that? I was so fucking pissed at him I almost threw his piss back on him…” Yeonjun can tangibly feel that you’re not all there, your eyes occasionally drifting off- so his eyes follow your train of vision until-

“Oh c’mon Y/N!” Yeonjun’s fingers release the grip on the gym equipment, causing the weights to thunderously slam back into place. You yelp, flinching a bit before you swat Yeonjun’s biceps.

“You scared me you bitch!”

“You scare me! And what the fuck are you wearing? What kind of basic bitch wears a pink set to the gym?”

You gasp dramatically. “You did not just say that.”

“And stop drooling over Jungkook! He doesn’t want you-mmmphh!” You clasp your palm over Yeonjun’s mouth mid-sentence, your boba eyes glaring up at him. You release your hand, pouting at him dramatically when you feel you’ve tortured him enough.

Hands on your hips, you continue glowering at him and he gladly reciprocates the scowl on your lips.

Yeonjun acquiesces from the glare-off almost immediately, too entirely soft to hold a grudge against his best friend. “Did you only agree to come to the gym with me to see Jungkook?” he asks, sincere disappointment laced in his words.

You immediately soften, disheartened to hear the crestfallenness in his tone. You shake your head at the notion. “No- I wouldn’t do that. I swear he’s here by coincidence,” you explain thoughtfully, “I’m sorry for being an inattentive friend. It wasn’t intentional. I just get distracted whenever I see him. I’m sorry.” Your eyes return to Yeonjun’s who smiles knowingly at you. He opens his arms, offering an embrace and you gladly accept, hugging all the problems away.

“You’re such a lovestruck girl,” Yeonjun teases.

“I can’t help it. He just looks so good. Look at his arms and his tattoos- oh Yeonjun, I’ll never get over him. What should I do?”

“We just have to kill him. That’s the only option left,” your eyes meet his, his empty gaze boring into your skull before you both burst into giggles.

“You’re right. That is the only option left.” You take a step back to stretch your arms, releasing the tension in your limbs until you sense a very familiar walking pattern approaching you.

“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook casually greets, creeping behind you to wrap a single arm around your shoulder. He pulls you closer to him from behind, nonchalantly nuzzling his forehead into the back of your head. You use both your hands to grip onto his thick forearm. “Um, hey Kook.”

Yeonjun bites back laughter, watching how you practically become hysterical at Jungkook’s casual gesture.

Jungkook uses his vacant hand to dap up Yeonjun- over your head. “What’s up Yeonjun?” Jungkook grins. Yeonjun reciprocates the friendly greeting. “Hey, how’ve you been? You looked great with the tricep presses.”

Jungkook beams at that. “Oh, you saw? I’ve been bulking so I’m trying to go super heavy with the weights.”

“I can tell. You look fucking enormous,” Yeonjun comments.

Jungkook immediately dismisses the compliment with a wave. “Don’t say that. You look good too…”

Tuning out of the interaction, your brain begins to malfunction when you realize that Jungkook is extremely familiar with all of your friends. You definitely aren’t the most social person, often opting to napping in your cozy bed instead of going into the harsh, unforgiving world, but you are lucky enough to have great friends like Yunjin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and Jungkook knows all of them. That had to be indicative of something deeper, right? Perhaps his underlying affection for you? Or a sign that he was possibly in love with you?

“What are you giggling about?” Jungkook teases, gently using his vacant hand to ruffle your hair.

You crimson intensely. “Nothing,” you sheepishly respond, skitterishly ducking under Jungkook’s arm to scurry behind Yeonjun, using your friend as a protective shield.

“What’s up with her?” Jungkook asks Yeonjun, to which Yeonjun feigns ignorance. “Not a clue.”

“Well then, I’m gonna head out. I’m actually staying at Y/N’s for a bit because her parents are out of town. Can you believe I still have to babysit her?” Jungkook says to Yeonjun, giving you a teasing glance.

“It’s just in case someone stalks me or tries to kill me! I don’t need to be babysat,” you emphasize, scowling at Jungkook and he can’t help but to reach out and pinch your cheek. The casual gesture sends you over the moon.

“Whatever you say. You need a ride home though? I can wait so Yeonjun doesn’t have to waste gas on you,” Jungkook suggests, eyes darting towards yours then Yeonjun’s to detect any traces of reticence or hesitation in his features.

You do the same, glancing towards Yeonjun who actually sports a look of indifference. You playfully link your arms with Yeonjun’s before sending Jungkook a downward smile. “It’s okay Kook. Wanna spend time with my friend today.”

A touched gasp leaves Yeonjun’s lips as he holds his hand over his heart, gesticulating dramatically to convey his surprise that you would choose him over the man you’ve been salivating over the past thirty minutes.

Jungkook has no protests about your preference. “Alright Y/N, see you at home. See you Yeonjun,” he gives you a little squeeze before he departs.

Yeonjun waits until Jungkook is out of ear shot to provoke you, mocking you in an obnoxious, high pitched voice, “I don’t need to be babysat! You’re such a baby- but thank you for choosing me, you know.”

You tilt your head, eyebrows pinching before you subtly frown at Yeonjun’s comment. “Of course I would choose you. You’re my friend.” You say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world- because it kinda is. Bros over hoes any day.

Yeonjun’s lips quirk up at the sentiment, “Oh how touching, thank you so much for gracing me with your presence, my queen.”

Jungkook thinks you can be such a princess sometimes, especially when you drag your feet back into the house, a sour expression consuming your pretty features. Particularly receptive to your emotional fluctuations, he doesn’t hesitate to ask you what’s up.

He leans against the kitchen counter, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows as his eyes settle on your moping figure. “Who made you sad? Bring them to me right now,” he muses.

You pause, letting your light green gym bag (with little Snorlax’s decorated all over it) fall to the floor with a thud before gazing at him with a vacuous expression. “Why are you dressed up?” you point towards his work attire- a simple white button up and slacks. The buttons on his dress shirt are undone and messy, giving you access to his chest and it makes you want to roll around on the floor and cry. His slacks are tight- accentuating his long, muscular legs and you decide that you’d be okay with dying only if you were suffocated between his thighs.

“Had a work call,” he responds, indifference laced in his voice, “Now who made you sad? Want oppa to handle it for you?” he teases, releasing a breathless laugh at the way your nose scrunches up in disgust.

Nonetheless, you spill everything to Jungkook- because you always spill everything to Jungkook and because you trust him with everything in you. He makes you feel safe. Plopping yourself down on the seat by the dining counter, you wordlessly slide your phone across the counter. Jungkook effortlessly stops your phone with a single hand, his eyes scanning across the array of text messages popping up on the screen.

“Not this guy again,” he mutters under his breath, gauging the situation.

“I know!” you concede, “Wish he would leave me alone- but I feel like I have to respond.”

The text messages were from none other than your ex-boyfriend, telling you how much he misses you, how he’ll do better for you, and every other generic I want you back text in the book.

There are various reasons why you feel obligated to respond to him: (a) the whole breakup was a mess and (b) it was your fault. You were in a long-term, committed relationship with your high school sweetheart until you recognized your exponentially growing feelings for Jungkook. The guilt of breaking your ex’s heart haunts you- his crying, tear-stained face often popping up in your mind when you feel shitty, making you feel even shittier. Though you were no longer emotionally tied to him you do feel obligated to give him closure, or at the very least respond to his text messages.

But you’ve had this conversation with your ex numerous times. How much closure does one need in order to move on?

“You don’t have to respond to him,” Jungkook’s sonorous voice pulls you from the thoughts plaguing your mind. “You’ve already told him how you feel,” Jungkook is the rational force in your life, always tugging you towards the right direction, especially when your susceptible mind feels the need to please everyone and everything.

“I know,” you sigh, “I just feel bad. He was my first kiss, first boyfriend. It feels like I just abandoned him.”

A look of contemplation blankets Jungkook’s handsome face, evident by the way his fingers trace over his chin and lips. “That’s true,” he eventually asserts, “but no one as young as you should stay in a relationship out of obligation.” He approaches you and settles himself down on the vacant seat beside you. “Actually Y/N, I’m proud of you for building up the courage to let him go. It would be more painful if you forced yourself to stay.”

You purse your lips and nod, allowing yourself to enjoy the sensation of Jungkook comfortingly rubbing your back. “t’s just sad. I used to love him.”

“I know Y/N, but sometimes you just have to start living in the present instead of the past. If you respond you’re just going to give him false hope. Just let it be,” he articulates, using prudence to assuage you.

You nod, craning your head to sustain eye contact with him, making the conversation feel all the more intimate and personal, “How would you feel if you were him? I mean- if your girlfriend broke up with you and you were still like- in love- with her?”

He tilts his head, thoroughly contemplating the question because he takes your feelings seriously, and he wants to give you the right answers. “If my girlfriend loses feelings then she loses feelings, there’s nothing I can do about it. I definitely wouldn’t beg for her back, I’d go out and make a lot of money instead,” he smiles, “But I wouldn’t know how it feels. I’ve never been dumped before,” he adds.

“Seriously?” you interject, not believing that Jungkook has never been dumped in his 26 years of living. “What about that one girl you brought to Thanksgiving Dinner a few years ago? What happened to her?”

“Ahh her?” he somewhat grimaces at the thought of his ex-girlfriend, “She was getting a little too suffocating so I let her go. She was really pissed off- tried to key my car and shit,” he states.

You gasp. His ex-girlfriend was so sweet to you- she even bought you a Snorlax plush keychain. But you can imagine Jungkook trying to hold her back while she jostles out of his grip, trying to key his car- his baby. “No way? If she ever comes back, just let me know. I’ll throw hands for you,” you enunciate, showing him your fists to which Jungkook just scoffs in amusement.

“Yea, I’ll definitely call you,” he remarks sarcastically before getting up, “So are you good, baby?” he asks, casually resting his hand on your shoulder, and you nod.

“‘M good. I’m not gonna respond to him.”

Jungkook’s lips quirk up at that. “Good.”

Jungkook is livid. You can tell by the way he spam calls you even after you repeatedly reject his calls. You quietly sneak out of the lecture hall and answer his call once you’ve reached the hallway.

“What? I’m in class,” you impatiently mutter.

“You’re fucking kidding, aren’t you?” he scoffs through the phone, “I canceled your appointment, by the way.”

The color drains from your face once you realize what this is about. “He told you?”

“You’re out of your fucking mind if you thought you could go through me to get your nipples pierced! I can’t believe you thought I would let you do that!”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” you whisper shout into his phone, “I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want!”

“No you’re not. Baby, you can’t even drink,” he reiterates, a little more calmly this time.

“Who cares? You’re not my mom! I can do whatever I want. Even if it’s through someone else!” you bark back. The silence that ensues intimidates you.

“Baby.” His voice is low, and it’s kinda hot but you don’t pay attention to it because of how angry you are at him trying to monopolize your actions.

“I’m not a fucking baby anymore so stop calling me that!”

“You’re not a baby?” Jungkook laughs lowly into the phone, as if the claim itself is ridiculous.

“‘m not.” He can practically hear your pout through the phone.

“You can’t even get on a plane by yourself.”

You gasp at Jungkook’s low blow. That was one time. A month ago, you took a flight to Vegas for EDC to meet up with Yunjin, who flew out the day before you. But you had no clue how to check your bag in, and were far too intimidated to go through the security check by yourself. What if they thought your ID was fake? Or worse what if they sent you to jail? There was just no way you could go through by yourself.

You remember the way Jungkook shook his head at your preposterous notions but nonetheless still agreed to take care of you.

So Jungkook drove you to the airport, carried your bag for you, weighed it, and checked it in. He also stood with you for the entire thirty minute wait at security and only left the airport when called and told him you were waiting at the departure gate.

You don’t respond, and he takes it as an opportunity to further his point.

“That’s what I thought. End of story. You’re not getting it done.”

He hangs up and you blissfully sigh. This literally takes feminism back 32904098 years, but you kind of love a man that can put you in your place.

Jungkook goes to the gym everyday solely so he can beat the shit out of Taehyung and Mingyu, who get off on tormenting him for his extremely complex and profound feelings for you.

Hooking up to the bluetooth speaker and blaring the sound of police sirens, going “Ayo! He’s right here, officer!” every time they walk past a policeman- they even go as far as putting handcuffs on him while he sleeps- hooting and howling in laughter when Jungkook wakes with his hands restrained.

Initially, it made his intestines twist and turn with pure guilt, guilt about harboring feelings for you, the little girl who used to prance around his room and do cartwheels in futile attempts to impress him.

His friends make him feel like shit, but they’re his friends for a reason.

“Hey, so how’s Y/N?” Mingyu casually asks, sinking into the welcoming leather of Jungkook’s sleek, black sofa. He props his feet up on Jungkook’s coffee table- mahogany brown and custom designed to suit Jungkook’s meticulous and elegant taste.

Jungkook narrows his eyes at the nonchalance of the comment, half expecting Taehyung to pop out of nowhere in policeman cosplay, ready to put him in cuffs. “Why’re you asking?”

When Mingyu detects the hostility blanketing Jungkook’s features, his jaw drops in realization of the reality of the situation. “Wait.. you don’t take us seriously when we tease you about that shit, right?”

Jungkook cocks his head in confusion, settling beside Mingyu, chopsticks in hand as he blows on his ramen. “I mean, kinda. I feel guilty about it.”

Mingyu eyes his friend for a while, and Jungkook slowly turns his head towards Mingyu when he feels lasers boring holes into his skull. “What, asshole?”

“Ah, sorry man. I didn’t know it bothered you. I kind of thought it was a given that you and Y/N are cute together. Didn’t know the age gap bothered you.”

Oh.

Jungkook pauses, setting his sizzling ramen back into the plastic container instead of into his mouth, and Mingyu feels the need to further elaborate.

“I mean, you’re always helping her out, taking care of her, that’s pretty cute.”

Jungkook blinks at Mingyu, raking his tattooed hand through his hair. “Doesn’t that just make me look like a dumbass?” he mutters, before letting out a bitter, light-hearted laughter at the reality of his assertion.

His emotions for you run deep and intricate, but one thing remains unequivocally clear: he doesn't do these things because he expects something in return. That would be selfish. Obligation doesn't factor into his decisions either. Jungkook doesn't subscribe to such motivations when it comes to his personal life. He views it as unnecessary and cumbersome—except when it involves you. Whether it's looking after you, lending you money, helping you with homework, or driving you to the airport, he does it all because he genuinely loves you.

He acknowledges the peculiarity of his natural inclination to care for you. In the past, he's ended numerous relationships due to girls he found excessively clingy, suffocating, or overbearing, all attributes he easily uses to describe you- but he lives for that shit when it comes to you.

Mingyu’s forehead wrinkles in confusion. “What? That girl loves you, Jungkook. If she does good in school and gets rich, you’d be bathing in that shit,” Mingyu jokes, causing Jungkook to sputter out laughter at the absurd thought.

“Right now though?” Mingyu continues, “She wouldn’t be able to change your tire or some shit, but she brings you this sense of peace, and that’s something every guy needs in his girl.”

Jungkook pauses at that.

Jungkook is abruptly awoken by the blaring sound of his ringtone. Groggily, he reaches for his phone on the nightstand, eyes barely open.

You, the only person that would call him at 3 in the morning, and you the only person he would answer at 3 in the morning.

Babysitting is the last word he would use to explain why he’s at your house right now. He’s at your house because, well, he would do anything for you, even if you aren’t aware of the lengths he would go to keep you satiated and happy.

He’s aware that men find you charming for your ditzy and oblivious nature, but Jungkook likes you regardless of whether or not you possess such an arbitrary trait. But it is true that there are a lot of things you aren’t aware of, like how utterly lovely you are. Jungkook knows you- sees how oblivious you are to the men who shamelessly ogle at you, or the boys who practically break their necks to get a glimpse at you.

You have this resonating effect on him. You drive him crazy and you don’t even know it.

Initially, Jungkook had never truly focused his attention on you, yet as time passed, an irresistible attraction began to pull him toward you. He vividly recalls an incident in particular that left him dumbfounded.

Jungkook’s mom visited yours to drop off some vegetable. Gifting fruits and vegetables from their gardens are the way the aunties demonstrate their love and appreciation for one another. Jungkook reckons you didn’t know he was there because you pranced down the stairs with the tiniest boy shorts and camisole top. Jungkook isn’t the type of man to become disoriented over the sight of a woman’s body, practically desensitized from all the women he’s been with, but he stiffens at your presence.

“Wow baby!” His mother giggles, using your classic nickname as she ogles you shamelessly, “You’re getting really sexy!”

She playfully nudges your mom, “Are you ready to have grandchildren?” The joke makes your mother roll her eyes, though a smile lingers on her lips, infinitely proud of her beautiful daughter.

“I wish someone would marry my daughter!” Your mom jests, “All she ever does is sleep! I just wish a man would even look her way!”

Jungkook’s eyebrows pinch in bewilderment. He knew your mother was only joking, teasing you as per usual- because clearly, you are captivatingly gorgeous. You make a sly comment in return to make his mom giggle, always so smooth and sociable with the old ladies.

Suddenly, you randomly swivel around, yelping at Jungkook’s presence. “Oh hey,” you greet, fidgeting in place, “I didn’t know you were here. Sorry- I should cover up a little.”

For the first time in his life Jungkook is speechless in front of you. You. You just look so pretty standing in front of him, your manicured fingers twirling a single strand of hair, gazing at him and gnawing your lips like he makes you nervous when in reality you make him tremble with just one look. It makes his chest tighten and he inhales deeply to compose himself.

“No. Not at all, you should be comfortable in your own home,” the smile he offers you is forced, polite, and you’re bewildered at the tension accumulating between you and him. Your eyes glint downward; you can’t even look at him, and suddenly a bold wave of impulsivity washes over you.

“Hey Jungkook, can we talk in the other room?”

Jungkook’s eyes flash towards his mother’s then rapidly back at you. Subconsciously, his eyes trace down your body and he feels like has to physically gouge his eyes out to prevent himself from looking.

“Yea, sure.”

He follows you upstairs into the guest room, taking extreme measures to keep his pupils focused on the ceiling lights above your head. However, his efforts work against him because the ceiling lights shine on you like a spotlight, illuminating your gorgeous figure as you make your way up the stairs.

Your fingers wrap around his forearm and you pull him into the room.

You waste no time getting straight to the point.“Jungkook, I think I’m pregnant.”

Jungkook blinks, processing what you just said. “Huh?”

You bite your lip anxiously, crossing your arms while you look down at your toes. “My period is late, and I don’t know what to do- you’re the only person I trust to talk about this.”

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to confirm the sentiment. “You can trust me with anything. I’ll always take care of you- ‘m just a little shocked because I thought you were still a virgin.”

Gasping dramatically, you pout at him and stomp your foot. “I’m not a little kid anymore.”

Yea, clearly not, he thinks. “Just act normal. After I drop my mom off at home I’ll come back with a pregnancy test.”

You nod and give him a downward smile. “Thanks- ‘m just really nervous and I hope I’m not pregnant because I don’t even remember who the dad is and-“

Jungkook frowns at that, perturbation morphing onto his features. “Y/N, you don’t remember who the dad is? Please don’t do that- only sleep with people you trust. Please.”

“I trust you.”

The words tumble from your lips immediately, before you can even process your thoughts. You clasp your hand over your mouth, a small gasp leaving your lips as you gaze up at him in pure horror.

Jungkook doesn’t know what to think- doesn’t even know if that was just a fragment of his imagination. He blinks at you, brain too fused to even conjure a proper response.

“Wait- I didn’t mean it like that!” you blurt out. At that moment, you give up on any attempt to salvage the situation and scurry out of the room, stumbling back down the stairs.

Jungkook runs his hands over his face.

He’s going to hell for the thoughts running through his mind.

Thank God you weren’t pregnant but after that night Jungkook just never looked at you as just a family friend. It’s complicated . It’s morally conflicting, and it frustrates Jungkook like nothing else.

“Hello?” he speaks into the phone

“I bled on my bed,” you sniffle into the phone, “Just please come upstairs,” you say before abruptly hanging up.

He begrudgingly rises from his bed. Though tired, he doesn’t hesitate to throw his black t-shirt over his head to look presentable for when he checks up on you. Rubbing at his eyes with his knuckles, he shoves his hands into the pockets of his black sweats as he makes his way up the stairs. He gently opens the door to see you sitting idly under your covers, clinging onto your Snorlax plushie for dear life. You’re wearing

He sits on the edge of your bed. “You ran out of pads?”

You don’t say anything, remaining stiff like an ice sculpture, not melting under Jungkook’s warm touch like you usually do.

He nods at you and gently tugs on your oversized T-shirt, urging you to get up as he sticks out his hand. “Change the sheets and I’ll go out and buy you some pads-“

“Jungkook, I'm in love with you.”

Abrupt.

Impulsive.

Messy.

But you feel like you just have to say it. With a radiant glow on your rosy cheeks, you purse your lips in a demure manner, physically unable to look at him. You have to look at Snorlax to get your words out instead.

You inhale deeply. “I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, and I’m sorry if it creeps you out but I’ve always had feelings for you- and I hate you for it because I don’t think I’ll ever have the capacity to love anyone else like I love you.” With glossy eyes you finally peer at him just to see an entirely indecipherable expression- you’re not sure if it conveys shock, bewilderment, or horror but it evokes the most unsettling and humiliating sensation in the pit of your stomach.

Just as day transforms into night, humiliation morphs into anger, and anger morphs into nonsensicality. Outrage bubbles within you and you chuck the Snorlax plushie at his face.

“Fuck you! How can you treat me the way you do and expect me not to feel anything?! I emotionally cheated on my ex with you! You’re the fucking worst and I hate you. I hate you so fucking much!” Your hands frantically search for every single squishmallow, plushie, and teddy bear you have and you violently chuck your beloved squishies at him. From zero to one hundred, you’ve escalated rapidly and you feel like you’ll die if you don’t convey everything to him right now, in this moment.

Jungkook remains stoic, somewhat resembling the statue of a Greek god: handsome and stagnant, not even flinching at the impact of your squishies hitting his built body or the way you nonsensically scream at him.

“This is all your fucking fault Jungkook. You ruined my life! You ruined love for me! I’ll never get a boyfriend, never get married, never have kids because of you! I’m going to die alone and it’ll be all your fucking fault! How could you do that to me? How could you do that to me?” You erupt into sobs, pushing your face into your hands as you violently cry. Snot, tears, and saliva leak from your face as the chagrin completely consumes you.

“Y/N.” The sound of Jungkook’s deep, baritone voice is barely audible over the sounds of your heaving.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He does sound sorry, but you can’t help but question the authenticity of his words because he didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. It’s like he’s merely uttering an apology to appease you.

But for Jungkook, he’ll apologize a million times if it helps dry your tears. He never let his pride get in the way when it comes to you.

He sits at the edge of your bed, using his finger to tilt your chin up, revealing your disheveled, snotty, and glossy face. You whimper when your vision clears and focuses on him.

He wipes your face with your own shirt, tugging up the hem to absorb your tears, still gentle and attentive. You swat his hand away. “You need to stop doing that,” you mewl, blinking more tears from your eyes.

“You need to stop crying. It makes me sad,” he retorts, passing you the same Snorlax plushie you violently launched at him. You cushion the plushie on top of your thighs and bring your knees to your chest. You inhale and exhale deeply, trying to settle from your emotional high.

“You don’t even take me seriously,” you mumble, peeking up at him.

“I always take you seriously,” Jungkook responds, “but I want you to stop crying first-

“Jungkook, kiss me,” you breathe out, “If you don’t hate me, then kiss me,” you say, your eyes fluttering shut, delusionally- as if he was about to kiss you. Instead, you feel his large palm on your head, softly caressing your hair.

“I’m not gonna kiss you. You should get some rest.” His voice is deep, calm, and composed. How can he be so normal when you’re on the brink of losing your mind?

Your face scrunches up in indignation before you erupt in tears once again, practically screaming. “Fuck you! I hate you! I hate you!”

“Y/N.” He calls your name repeatedly.

“Y/N-”

“Shut the fuck up you asshole!”

“Y/N,” his voice becomes more stern with everytime he calls your name, but you don’t let him get a word in. You keep screaming at him, calling him every name in the book of insults, shaking him off every time he goes near you.

When he attempts to sit by you, you violently push him away. “Go away! I’m not a little kid anymore! I don’t fucking need you anymore! I’m gonna be single forever because of you! If you don’t want me to be single forever then just fucking leave and never come back!”

You’re aware that your words are horrible, but the overwhelming sense of embarrassment and shame erupting in your system prevents any rational train of thoughts from developing in your mind. You’re embarrassed and devastated that Jungkook doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, and it sends you spiraling.

He attempts to calm you once more by sitting on your bed, but you push him even more violently. “Don’t fucking touch me! I’m never gonna find love because of you! Just fucking die, just leave forever if-”

He staggers on his feet, caught off balance from the force of your push, and for the first time in his life Jungkook yells at you.

“Y/N!”

Giving you no time to say or think anything, he seats himself on your makeup chair, tattooed hand gripping onto its top rail. “Y/N,” he scowls deeply at you, features blanketed in exasperation, “We’ll talk about this later, but you need to calm the fuck down. You’re hurting me when you talk like that.”

Your eyebrows furrow deeply in horror, your cheeks tear-stained and your eyes filled with sorrow. The haunting realization of what you just said settles into your system. Your quivering lips barely enunciate your words. “Kook, I’m so sorry,” you blubber out. “I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it. I promise I didn’t mean it!” You shoot up, stumbling over your own feet and collapsing onto the floor. You’re a mess. Your face glistens with a layer of your own snot, and your hair is matted and tangled, the result of the countless times you tugged at it during this interaction.

Unbeknownst to you, there's a red blotch near the lower hem of your T-shirt, and droplets of blood escape you and drip onto the floor as you stumble out of bed. Jungkook notices though, eyebrows pinching in concern as a very disturbed expression morphs on his face when you collapse to your knees, your trembling hands holding onto him for support. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it! It’s all my fucking fault!”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything.

“I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you sniffle. “I’m so sorry I said that. That was so horrible of me. Please don’t die. I’m so sorry.”

A sigh of vexation leaves his lips, but nonetheless he remains patient, compassionate towards the devastation that consumes your face. “I’m not gonna die.” He cups your face with his tattooed hand, and uses his thumb to wipe the idle tears on your face. “I forgive you. It’s okay.”

“Promise? Promise it’s okay? I’m so sorry,” you cry even more, desperately latching onto his hands, using the side of his fingers to wipe your eyes.

“It’s okay,” he confirms, tilting your head upwards before wiping your face with a makeup wipe from your vanity. “‘M really tired. I’m gonna go get your pads then I’ll be back.

You sniffle. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” The smile he gives you is forced, and it makes you feel horrible.

He motions his head towards your bed. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when I come back.”

You tiredly listen to his words, getting under your covers and holding onto your Snorlax plush. “Good night Kook.”

“Night,” he says, somewhat emotionlessly, flickering the lights off and vacating your room.

Horrible. You wake up with puffy eyes, infinite eye boogers, and an awful pit in your stomach. The memories of last night come flooding in and you immediately check your phone to see if Jungkook texted you. There’s nothing there.

Why would he want to talk to you after what you did?

You decide to send him a text message to further emphasize how sorry you are.

You throw your phone on the bed and scream into the stomach of Snorlax.

Dry. He’s being so fucking dry and it’s all your fault.

The next few weeks are spent with you attempting to redeem yourself.

You have no idea why you’re in front of Jungkook’s work, let alone with a lunchbox cake in hand. Begrudgingly, you stumble inside the tall building, awkwardly smiling when you come face to face with the sweet old security man. Jungkook’s work place is fancy as hell. Every floor of the tower hosts the office of an aristocratic company. There are even enormous, airport-esque x-ray machines stationed towards the entrance. You have to walk through a metal detector to be granted access into the building.

“Why hello, young lady! What business do you have here today?”

“Um, I have a cake for someone. H-he works at HYBE Tech Solutions.”

“Alright, go ahead and put your bag and belongings here,” he says, motioning towards the tray on the X-ray machine conveyor belt. You watch as your belongings pass through the machine and come out on the other end. Then, you step through the metal detector, holding your arms up to be properly inspected. You bid the security man goodbye and walk towards the elevator.

An ominous feeling of stupidity washes over you as you press your fingers onto the elevator buttonsYou feel stupid. You feel dumb. You feel silly. You would never do this for a man, but here you are.

You take a deep breath before you stumble in, coming face to face with the lady that works at the front desk. Your eyes settle on the badge on her blouse. Dorothy. You vaguely remember Jungkook ranting about this woman, venting about how she crossed professional and ethical boundaries- often sneakily creeping her fingers up his chest while they spoke and even going as far as to dig into the company’s database for his personal information.

You clear your throat. “Hi, how’s your day been?”

“I’m great! Thanks for asking, hun. How can I help you today?” She asks, voice bubbly and uplifting, perfect for customer service.

“Oh! Um- I have something for Jungkook. He works in the tech department.”

Her bubbly and friendly atmosphere immediately diminishes, and she raises her eyebrows at you before eyeing you conspicuously. With a vacuous expression, she picks up the landline, pressing her thin fingers into the numbers. “Hey, can you let Jungkook know that there’s a child here for him?”

You purse your lips at that, rocking back and forth on your heels. You try to avoid eye contact with this woman by looking elsewhere- pupils frantically darting to the daisies on the front desk or the grandfather clock that sits idly against the beige walls- but she’s persistently staring you down.

Thank God Jungkook appears from the end of the hallway.

He sports a light blue button up and brown slacks, a stack of papers in his tattooed hand while the other rakes through his short hair. He looks delicious as ever and clearly Dorothy agrees because she practically moans as he walks down the hallway.

“Y/N?” He narrows his eyes in your direction, confirming that it’s really you.

“Um hi Kook. I brought you something.” You use two hands to present the styrofoam box to him.

Jungkook’s eyes scan from the lunchbox to you. He places the stack of papers on the front desk before accepting the box and popping open its lid. “A cake?” he questions, and you nod shyly, fidgeting in place.

“Thanks,” he plainly says, giving you an awkward smile before his eyes dart towards Dorothy, who is intensely scrutinizing the interaction. There is tension in the atmosphere, and Dorothy’s presence isn’t helping.

He clears his throat. “You didn’t have to, you should be studying,” he says, his words a little more light-hearted this time.

You shake your head. “I wanted to do this for you. I’m sorry for last night, Koo.”

He stares at you before letting a sigh escape his lips. “t’s okay Y/N. Told you I‘m not mad. We’ll talk about this later.”

You twiddle with your fingers, your puppy eyes flickering towards him.

“Hug?” he asks, cutting the tension, tilting his head while he holds his arms open. You pout, nodding before running into his arms. He holds you tight, and whispers into the top of your head so Dorothy wouldn’t catch heed of the conversation. “You made me sad last night, you know.”

“‘I’m sorry.”

“‘It's okay. I can never be mad at you for too long,” He subtly releases you from his embrace and pinches your cheek. “Now go home, okay?”

You take a step back and offer a nod. And for some reason, Jungkook feels that you’re looking at him as if you’ll never see him again. “Enjoy your cake.”

Jungkook smiles back, waving you goodbye. You turn to the office lady, who quickly averts her eyes once you notice her blatant eavesdropping. “Thank you auntie. Have a nice day!”

Jungkook has to physically restrain himself from laughing.

A heart emoji. Butterflies erupt in your stomach at his most insignificant actions. You hold your phone to your chest and bite back a smile.

Loud music booms and vibrates through the walls of this massive mansion. There’s a huge pool, complete with a waterslide and waterfalls spilling into the pool. You’re surrounded by tons of other like-minded college kids, clad in nothing but a white lace bikini. You’re able to acknowledge that it isn’t the most tasteful outfit, but you feel good and you look good.

After jumping in the pool and violently pelting water balloons at each other (effectively scaring away all the hoes), you and Yunjin lie under a cabana mindlessly scrolling through your phones. You only look up from your phone when you sense Yunjin holding up her phone for a selfie. Jungkook would have rolled his eyes at the sight.

“Can I show you something?” you abruptly blurt out, eliciting a cynical look from your friend. “Is it bad?”

You immediately shake your head, composing your posture so you can properly show Yunjin your texts with Jungkook. Her eyes rapidly scan over the phone in moments and she shoots you a sly glance.

“So do you think?-”

“I don’t know… but I really, really, really hope that it means something. I don’t want him to see me as a little kid anymore, you know?” Bashfully, you smile at her, your demure expression a complete juxtaposition to your practically naked figure.

Yunjin cups your cheeks making your glossy lips pouty. “Y/N! You’re about to pull Jungkook!”

“I am?”

“Yes you are-”

Yunjin flinches dramatically when a harsh stream of water unexpectedly drenches you. You both whip your head to the culprit in question: Beomgyu standing directly in front of you with a massive water gun.

“You bitch!” Yunjin shoots up and runs after him with you rapidly following your partner in crime’s lead. But as you’re running towards Beomgyu (who maniacally screams and dashes), another stream hits you from the back.

The second culprit. Soobin. You sprint towards, latching your claws onto his white T-shirt him while you tug him towards the pool. “Wait Y/N! I just dried off. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

No mercy for this bitch.

You position yourself behind him, using your whole body to push him into the pool. Splash! You jump and squeal in excitement when he emerges from the water wiping his face with his hands. You laugh hysterically in his face, childishly pointing your finger at him, finding it even more hilarious when he gives you the stink eye. “That’s what you get, asshole!-“

You pause and shriek in horror.

Somebody just pulled on the strings of your bikini top, exposing your boobs to the entire party.

You instinctively crouch, shoving your chest into your knees.The gasp of horror that leaves Soobin’s lips mirrors yours, and he immediately springs into action, rapidly lifting himself from the pool and sprinting after whatever asshole just violated you.

“Y/N!” Your savior, Yeonjun appears in front of you, crouching to your level. He rapidly rids himself of his shirt and pulls it over your entire figure. “You’re good, you’re good,” he whispers calmly to you, trying to prevent you from having a full blown panic attack. You stand up reticently, folding your arms over your chest, eyes trained on the ground and only looking at Yeonjun’s feet to gauge which direction you’re heading in.

“You okay?” Yeonjun settles under the cabana. “That guy is such a dick,” he mutters to himself.

You nod and sink into the cushion of the outdoor-couch. “I’m so fucking embarassed.”

Attempting to salvage the situation, Yeonjun immediately shakes his head. “No, no. Nobody saw anything.” You shoot him a skeptical look, knowing damn well everybody in the party saw your bare boobs.

“Is that Jungkook?”

You immediately whip your head towards the left, and indeed Jungkook is walking your way. You can’t believe he’s real. All heads whip in his direction as he makes his way towards you. He flicks his head back to prevent hair from falling in front of his eyes, barefoot, black T-shirt, and gray shorts. He looks so handsome you can’t even comprehend it.

“Y/N!” He shouts, quicklyducking under the roof of the cabana before he positions himself in front of you. He inhales and exhales deeply, the blistering sun forming particles of sweat on his forehead.

You look up at him and your heart melts. The sheen of sweat on his face, the way his eyes fixate on you. Your heart skips a beat. You want to cry. Again. Out of embarrassment, and how emotional you become at Jungkook’s mere presence.

You bury your head into your knees, making Jungkook's eyebrows pinch. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Yeonjun opens his mouth, hesitatingly glancing at you to confirm if telling Jungkook is okay.

You shoot up and practically catapult yourself onto Jungkook, latching onto him like a Koala. “Nothing happened,” you say, nuzzling your face into his shirt. “Come swim with me. Please.”

Jungkook sighs, using his large palm to tame your frizzy stray hairs. “Y/N. We need to go home.”

You cock your head in confusion.“Wait why?”

His voice becomes oddly stern. “Y/N. It’s important and we have to go home.”

“To your place or mine?”

“My place. Just follow me.”

You haven’t a clue as to why Jungkook is behaving so urgently, but you follow him nonetheless. You pick up your purse and give Yeonjun a quick hug, running after Jungkook who cooly breezes past everyone, not a single person missing the hot guy who suddenly showed to the party.

Jungkook opens his car door for you and allows you to step in.

“Jungkook… is something going on?”

“Yes, there is,” he says grimacing slightly, shutting the door for you before he climbs into the driver’s seat.

This nauseating anxiety bubbles inside you and sends chills up your spine, making you flinch when Jungkook closes the car door on his side. Jungkook doesn’t say anything, just looks behind his shoulder to reverse from his parking spot before zooming out of there.

“Is this because of what happened the other night?” you ask, and he glances at you quickly.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Well.. are we going to talk about it?” you push, twiddling with your fingers.

Jungkook shakes his head, noticing your trembling fingers in his peripheral view. He reaches over and puts his hand on top of yours. “Not now.”

You don’t respond, shifting in confusion.

“Here,” Jungkook starts, throwing his phone in your lap, “You can play whatever song you want.”

You purse your lips and silently nod.

Sooner or later, you arrive at Jungkook’s apartments, and he leads you up the stairs and sits you on his black leather couch.

He cups your face with both hands, caressing the apples of your cheek with his thumbs. With your eyebrows pinched, you peer into Jungkook’s eyes, conveying your confusion through your scrunched facial features.

“Y/N, before I tell you what I want to tell you, I want you to take a few breaths. Just know that I’m always here for you.”

You nod steadily, pretty facial features still crinkled in confusion.

“Y/N, your parents were in a car accident, and they didn’t make it.”

“What?”

And as the haunting realization settles into your system, all you can remember are your shrieks of terror echoing throughout his apartment and the way Jungkook holds you against his body while he wipes your tears and assuages your loud cries.

The few days that proceed are a blur, but Jungkook takes care of you and is far more attentive than he ever has been. You cling onto him like fragile glass ornament hanging from a delicate thread- like he was all you had left because he was all you had left. He was your spring solace after a harsh winter, and the way he treated you indicated as much.

Jungkook works from home so you aren’t alone. For the entire day, you sit on his bed and watch him work. You eavesdrop on his meetings, falling asleep to the sound of his voice and whenever you wake up Jungkook ensures that he feeds you, constantly worried about your inability to eat.

You’re queasy just thinking about going back to your house, so your daily and nightly attire consist of pieces from Jungkook’s wardrobe. You haven’t verbally acknowledged what has happened- not ready to talk about the death of your parents. You’re just trying to survive, and you feel like you’re barely making it.

Thankfully, all your friends and family have been extremely helpful trying to get you through your grief. Jungkook’s mother stays with you for a few days, and after that Yunjin sleeps over with you for a few days- but you know that a piece of your heart has been ruthlessly ripped form you.

“Y/N, you need to take a shower,” Jungkook expresses, obstructing your view of the TV. His toothbrush hangs from his mouth, toothpaste residue bubbling around the perimeter of his lips. You owlishly blink at him, observing how his expression hardens at your look of indifference.

You scoot towards the left end of the couch, hoping to get a clear view of Ever After High projected on his flat screen TV.

“Y/N you haven’t showered in three days,” Jungkook interjects, “Please take a shower.”

“I will. Later.”

He pushes up his glasses, staring at you with intense disapproval. “Y/N,” he says sternly, trying to be gentle despite his qualms.

You acquiesce, pouting at him. “Okay, fine. Later.”

His frown deepens. “Y/N.”

You chew on your bottom lip, deeply contemplating what Jungkook has asked of you. His large frame remains frozen in front of you. No matter how you position yourself on the couch, he renders you unable to watch the princesses prance around on the TV.

“Okay… but will you at least come with me? I don’t want to be without you.”

Jungkook pauses.

“I don’t mean like getting in with me, but will you just sit on the toilet and talk to me?” You ask, sinking into the leather of his sofa and using your sweater paws to sweep your hair back.

“Yea, I’ll do that.”

Once you step in the shower, you close the curtains, and strip yourself from your clothes, handing the pile of clothes to Jungkook. You turn on the water, yelping at the sensation on your body. Jungkook was right. You needed this and you kind of do smell like butthole.

“Wait Y/N, do you want me to go to your house and get you underwear?”

After folding up your (his) T-shirt and boxers, he notices that you haven’t been wearing any undergarments.

“No!” you call back, “I don’t want you to go there! Not yet,” you call back.

“Then do you want me to buy you some?” he responds, placing the folded clothes on the bathroom counter.

“Um, maybe we can order some on Amazon.”

“Just send me the link and I’ll place the order.”

“Okay.”

A wave of silence washes over the bathroom, and you peek your head from the shower curtain to see what Jungkook’s up to: scrolling on Instagram. On his screen is some instagram model’s bikini pic, his fingers pausing on the screen so he can look at the photo.

“Who is that?” you ask, making Jungkook jump in his seat.

“What the- Y/N, just take your shower!” Jungkook feigns annoyance but can’t help himself but scoff in amusement at how petty you can be.

“Is she prettier than me?” you ask, glaring at Jungkook with disapproval.

Jungkook purses his lips and tugs the shower curtain past your face and holds it against the wall, preventing you from peeking your pretty head past the curtain. He holds it there for a good minute, unfazed by the thrashing against the shower curtain.

Swish.

You swipe open the shower curtain from the other side. Your eyes bore into Jungkook’s and Jungkook thinks you’re foolish not to realize how alluring and sultry you are. Your bare body is akin to a sculpture of the goddess Aphrodite. Water drips from the crevices of your body and you gaze at him with anticipation etched onto your face. You’re just standing there, but your posture is so seductive- or maybe it’s just the natural curvature of your body.

“Why don’t you join me?” your sweet voice makes his Adam's apple bob in his throat.

When he doesn’t respond, your features morph into humiliation, regret consuming you. You nod your head. “Sorry Kook, I’ll just-”

“Y/N, you’re gorgeous. Any man can see how lovely you are. Honestly, you take my breath away every time I see you,” Sensing the trepidation on your face, he solidifies his claim, “I mean it Y/N. You’re beautiful, and I want to join you but I’m not going to. You’re hurting right now and I don’t want to do anything to take advantage of you.”

And he isn’t lying, he yearns for every kind of contact with you, but he’s not going to go through with this. Not when you’re traumatized from the death of your parents. Not when you’ve been so unhinged for the past week, refusing to even shower.

You stare at him for a second, dazy eyed and your eyes darting around the room. “Okay Jungkook. I’m sorry.”

He smiles sweetly at you and gently closes the shower curtain. “It’s okay Y/N. I’m gonna head to my room. You’re welcome to come visit me anytime.”

Boys’ night. Jungkook being the handsome stud he is, happens to have friends that are also handsome studs. Jungkook offered to postpone boys’ night but you declined his attempts to make you more comfortable. Jungkook has exerted so much effort to take care of you. There’s no reason for him to forgo time with his best friends. Besides, you can always hide in your room.

You crack your door open slightly ajar, peeking through the crack to spy on Jungkook and his friends. Antisocial is the perfect word to describe you.

The sound of the doorbell ringing was your cue to lock yourself in your room. Jungkook knocked a few times, but you were too scared of other people that you didn’t even grace him with a response.

Clearly Jungkook got the message because he opted to leave a greasy piece of pizza outside your door, sending you a quick text message about it.

You just wanted to scout the scene, see who was there. Mingyu, Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon. Soju bottles are scattered around the table, and there’s some music blaring from the TV. You’ve met everyone here a few times- they all know you, but you aren’t close with Jungkook’s friends like he is with your friends.

“Oh Y/N! Come join us!” You freeze at Mingyu’s words, and all eyes in the room whip towards your direction.

“Umm..” you close the door gently and leap into the safety of your bed.

You overhear their banter through the wooden door. “Hey! Why are you making little kids uncomfortable!” Jimin yells, slapping Mingyu on the neck.

Your lip quivers, and you inhale deeply, gathering the courage to step outside of the room. You quickly put on deodorant, and step out stealthily, taking a seat next to Namjoon on the couch. No one seems to notice you, and you tap on his shoulder. Namjoon whips his head towards you, the confusion on his face melting into fondness.

“Hi,” you squeak out, fiddling with your fingers.

“Hi Y/N,” Namjoon greets, the kindness laced in his voice assuaging the trepidation bubbling on your inside. Jungkook’s red lava lamp illuminates the room with shades of crimson, and your eyes flutter shut when a ray of light shines on your face.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon inquires, holding his hand up to shield you from the light.

“Yea, I’m fine,” you blink a few times. You don’t say anything, just awkwardly take a bite of your pizza while your eyes dart around the room.

Namjoon doesn’t seem to know what to say to you either, so the two of you just sit and eat pizza in silence. For a moment, your eyes lock. You owlishly blink at him and he blinks at you for a good minute.

But then, to your surprise, Namjoon sets his pizza down, opening his arms. Your features scrunch up, and you let yourself melt into his warm embrace, glossy tears rolling down your face.

“I’m so sorry about what happened,” he expresses, gently caressing the back of your head with his palm. You sniffle. “t’s okay,” you sob, “but I’m so sad. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“You’ll get through this. We’re always here for you.”

His words invoke a tornado of intense feelings in your system, and your strong facade crumbles as you become vulnerable in Jungkook’s friend’s embrace. By this point, everyone has noticed your presence, and suddenly the night becomes about you.

After wiping your tears with the back of your hand, you find yourself sitting in between Jungkook and Namjoon in a “friendship circle”. It’s quite cute that these grown men still sit criss-cross applesauce in a circle, but you’re overjoyed that you’re welcome to the group.

“I brought you a cake Y/N,” Taehyung announces, handing you a lunchbox cake. With your doe eye, you look towards him before opening the lid of the cake. A lunchbox cake with Snorlax’s face iced on the top. “Jungkook mentioned that you really liked Pokemon, so I thought you’d find this cute,” he continues, slightly trailing off. You’re Strong! Is what it reads, and you fall into pieces, your features crumpling up before you burst into tears.

Jungkook laughs in fondness at the vulnerability of your reaction, wrapping a single arm around your frame.

“Th-thank you,” you sniffle, offering Taehyung a crooked smile. “Can we eat it together? I don’t want to get f-fat.”

At that, a chorus of no’s echo through the room, and you giggle a bit.

Your heart is incredibly full. Family. Friends. People who care about you. This is something your soul desires, something your soul needs.

The night meets its unfortunate end, and you stand in front of Jungkook as you bid his friends goodbye. Before the boys walk away, you find your fingers clinging onto the hem of Jimin’s oversized shirt. Before he ventures off, he turns around and graces you with an endearing look of confusion. “What’s up?”

“Can I come with you?” you spout.

“You want to sleep over at our place?” Jimin questions, gingerly scratching the back of his head.

You shake your head steadily, “I just want to talk to you,” you clarify, gazing up at him shyly. Jimin’s eyes dart towards Jungkook’s for approval and Jungkook nods his head. “Go ahead. I’ll give you guys privacy,” he pinches your cheek affectionately before closing the door. You stand on your tiptoes, peeking through the window of the apartment to ensure that Jungkook isn’t eavesdropping.

Jimin leans against the railings, observing you carefully.

You tug on the hem of Jimin’s tee, urging him to follow you to the lobby of Jungkook’s apartment. He follows in your stead, not questioning you until your actions pause. You shift around uncomfortably for a bit, and you look up at him. Taking a deep breath, you find the courage to ask him the question that’s been lingering in the back of your mind.

“Do you think Jungkook and I could ever.. be a thing?” you finally question, shifting your weight between your feet, a crimson sheen sweeping over your cheeks.

Jimin’s eyebrows pinch, and he repeatedly opens and closes his mouth, looking for the right words to say. “Like romantically?”

Your eyes cumbersomely drift towards the painting behind Jimin. “Y-yea. I really like him, and I want him to be my boyfriend- and I know he’s attracted to me but won’t act on his feelings because of his ethical qualms,” you stutter out, pursing your lips after seeing how Jimin’s face morphs into astonishment.

“Well, I don’t think Jungkook is seeing anyone right now- but Y/N, if I’m going to be totally honest, I don’t think you and Jungkook being a romantic pair would be appropriate. I mean, he’s known you since you were a kid. Even if he does like you, I don’t think he would cross those boundaries.” he very gently explains, meticulously finding the correct wording to not hurt your feelings.

You bite your lip bitterly, sinking into the realization of his assertion. “Yea, you’re right. I don’t know. I guess it’s just a stupid crush,” you dismiss your confession with a wave and offer Jimin a shy smile.

Jimin pouts at your invalidation of your own feelings. “Don’t say that. I know you’ll find someone who cherishes and loves you. Someone you deserve,” he asserts. You smile at him, nodding before he ruffles your hair and leads you back up the stairs.

Someone you love.

Would you ever find it in yourself to love anybody that wasn’t him? Jungkook has successfully monopolized your heart, your soul, your very being.

Ping!

Tonguing his cheek, Jungkook impatiently and abruptly brakes at a red light, accelerating rapidly when the light turns green. He changes from his casual clothes to a black sleeveless shirt, loose leather pants, and a beanie. Mingyu sits on the passenger seat, frantically typing on his laptop as Jungkook zooms down the highway at record pace.

Breaking into a frat house to terrorize some dumb college kids definitely wasn’t a part of the plan tonight, but Jungkook was down for some last minute terrorism.

“So what are you gonna do? Threaten the kid? Call the cops?”Taehyung questions from the backseat, both hands gripping on the headrest of Mingyu and Jungkook’s seats.

“Look, I’m really trying to not sound corny, but I’m going to torture him,” Jungkook enunciates, which evokes a few seconds of silence.

“This bitch-”

“He’s lost his fucking mind,” Mingyu mumbles.

Jungkook laughs to himself, amused by the comments of his friends. Jungkook is an intelligent, rational person. Normally, he wouldn’t take it this far but he deems it extremely necessary for this particular situation.

“What the- now he’s creepily laughing to himself-”

“If we tell Y/N about this she’s going to be scared of you,” Mingyu abruptly comments, shooting Jungkook a pointed look.

Jungkook pauses, seemingly deeply considering the utterance of his friend, toying with his lip ring for a while he finally makes a comment. “I won’t do anything bad. I’ll just intimidate him a little.”

His friends sigh, not pressing further on the matter because Mingyu and Taehyung were pissed off too. Instead, Mingyu rolls down the windows of the car, allowing the breeze of the cool night to consume the interior of the car.

Jungkook considers this very night a milestone in your healing process. You isolated yourself in his apartment for two consecutive weeks, your grief severely limiting your social capacity and ability to normally interact with people. His friends were privy to your situation, purposely not coming to Jungkook’s home out of respect for you. But tonight, the color that reappeared in your aura overwhelmed his heart with joy.

While you were on the couch, talking to Namjoon about something, Jungkook got an alarming text from one of your friends- Yeonjun. Jungkook is cool with your friends, but not close enough to be sending private text messages, so his eyes brows pinch in concern when he sees the notification pop up from his phone.

Mingyu’s eyes drifted towards Jungkook, who was noticeably brimming with indignation. Jungkook scoffed to himself, a macabre smirk on his lips before he laughed erratically at the message. He repeatedly wiped his face with his hand, chuckling in amusement. Jungkook discreetly passed his phone to Mingyu without a word, with Taehyung looking over his shoulder, both of them gasping at the message.

This whole time, you were oblivious to the scheme Jungkook was contriving and Jungkook intended to keep it that way. You were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and Jungkook would cut his limbs off to lessen that burden. The indignation and resentment bubbling within him threatens to erupt because he’s so fucking pissed off.

You’re everything to him, and the thought of you being violated makes him want to indulge in his violent impulses. He can’t imagine how you would feel knowing that video spread around, and usually he would confide with you about these things but right now he needs to sweep this under the rug and make sure it never comes back up.

Luckily, he and Mingyu both have degrees in computer engineering and know how to hack into technical infrastructures.

Jungkook pulls up to the frat house, rolling the window down steadily before he rests his elbow on the ledge of the window. He sits there for a second, toying with his lip ring while his eyes bore into the interior of the house. He’s sure he looks creepy as hell- just staring into the house.

After a few minutes of waiting in silence, some guy arises from the house and approaches the car.

Jungkook keeps his lips sealed until he’s close enough to perceive his features.

“Uh is there something yall need?” the guy asks, innocently scratching the back of his head.

“Yea,” Jungkook responds, voice firm and somewhat chilling, “Your name Josh?”

“Yea? What’s up-”

Jungkook kicks the door open, knocking Josh over until he’s rolled on the floor, clutching his leg as he shrieks in pain.

“Oh shit, are we really doing this?” Taehyung mutters before joining Jungkook outside the car.

Jungkook sits on top of Josh, continuously punching the shit out of him before he spits on the kid’s face. He uses a single hand to lift him by the collar, and violently pushes him against the car. “You mad Y/N rejected you? So you pulled that shit?” Jungkook menaces, his face centimeters away from Josh’s.

Josh whimpers, crying- too horrified to coherently respond. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he pleads, tears and snot streaming down his ugly face.

“Shut the fuck up!” Jungkook repeatedly bangs Josh against the car. “I’m gonna say this shit once and I’m not going to repeat myself,” he seethes, satisfied by the way Josh whimpers and nods his head pathetically.

“You’re not shit. You’ll never ever be good enough for Y/N. You’re the same as the shit on the bottom of my shoe,” he breathes against Josh’s face, who whimpers and cries, “If I ever see you messing with Y/N ever again- I will ruin your whole life.”

Josh nods, unable to do anything else.

“Got it?” Jungkook seethes, pushing Josh’s head against the car door.

“Got it!”

“Good. We’re going inside, and you guys are going to watch us go through all of your iClouds, and we’re going to delete every single copy of the video there is, alright?”

“Yes! Yes! That’s fine! I’m sorry!”

Jungkook scoffs in amusement at his despicable demeanor, before he throws Josh on the ground and enters the house.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Mingyu mumbles, following Jungkook’s lead into the house.

You anxiously wait for Jungkook to return home, absentmindedly toying with the Switch to distract from the hysterical thoughts frantically racing through your mind. You’ve done everything you could to distract yourself, your restless heart aching to do something of substance.

You’ve been isolating yourself from society for the past month simply because you can’t bring yourself to leave Jungkook’s home, as if it was your safe haven.

You dread the moment you have to return to your home, memories of your family coming to mind. You’ve been trying to avoid thinking about everything, and you reckon that it’s time to process everything. There are aspects of grief that you find unfathomable- questions you have that make you want to throw up.

What will happen to the home that holds the memories of your family within its walls? How will you assimilate back into society without your father, without your mother? You’re not confident that it will ever be the same, and your heart sinks into your stomach at the notion- but you have to be resilient; you have to face it.

It feels worse to avoid the reality of your life than to face it head on.

You’re pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the doorknob turning.

“Jungkook!” The way you call his name is breathless, and his eyebrows pinch in concern when you pounce on him. Nonetheless, he allows you to nuzzle into his embrace and he soothingly rubs your back- like he always does.

“Wasn’t gone that long,” Jungkook absentmindedly comments.

“I know- just missed you. I’m sorry for being clingy,” you murmur, to which Jungkook shakes his head at the absurdity of your words.

“Not at all. Stay here for as long as you want. I’ll take you with me wherever I go,” he adds, settling into the leather of his sofa. You shuffle after him like a cute little penguin, sitting your ass directly next to Jungkook despite the vacant empty space on your right side.

“Then am I allowed to sit next to you?”

Jungkook’s features crinkle up in amusement, nose scrunching as he laughs lightly at how cute you are. He pinches your cheek, “It’s one thousand dollars for every minute you’re within a five foot radius of me,” he comments, tone stoic and firm.

He doesn’t have to look in your direction to visualize the way your pretty lips fall open, swatting at his bicep for his cruel words. “Jungkook, I don’t have that money! You know I only have 35 cents in my bank account!”

“Okay, then go sit over there,” Your eyes follow the trail of his pointed finger, the corner of the room.

“Fine! You fucking asshole,” you mutter bitterly, jumping up from the couch and stomping away with a hmph, until Jungkook slyly wraps his hand around the circumference of your wrist and pulls you to him. You collapse onto the couch, your back against his chest, and your butt between his legs.

He clings onto you, almost suffocating you with the way he wraps his arms around you, grabbing his elbows as he locks his arms over your head. “‘M just kidding- you know that. I can’t survive without my baby either, y’know?”

Your chest erupts with butterflies, and you hold onto his forearm with both of your hands. “I know.”

The next day, you return to school. Your professors were so empathetic and understanding to the nuance and confusion of your situation, allowing you to complete your coursework from the comfort of Jungkook’s home.

Grief isn’t a linear process. Though you’ve found it in you to return to school, it’s the mundane and the typical that you’re becoming increasingly bothered by.

No one in your Philosophy class is paying attention to this movie, clearly. You can tell by the lit up screens scattered within the clusters of students, and you aren’t diligent enough to not be one of those students, doodling flowers and Snorlax’s on your paper.

For the second you do look up at the movie, your heart stops. It’s always the most mundane, irrelevant details that get to you. The scene barely occupies a minute and it makes your chest tighten in the worst way possible.

The main character walks down the wedding aisle, her arm linked with her father’s. The haunting realization settles in your system- you will never ever experience that. You begin hyperventilating, your hand crumpling the paper, and you quickly rest your forearms on the table before shoving your face into your forearms. People are already looking at you and you can’t fathom the humiliation so you stay like that until class is dismissed.

You finally lift your head, rubbing your eyes to adjust the blinding ceiling lights.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You shriek at the unexpected voice and whip your head to the left.

“Hey hey hey- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he breathes out, rolling his chair towards you before rolling back so as to not scare you further.

“No no, you’re good,” you breathe out, inhaling and exhaling to bring you down from your petrified high. “Just having a shitty day,” you explain, sweeping away the hair dried to your face by your tears.

He seems to be unable to conjure a proper response, peering at you with an empty gaze and you sink in your seat, feeling the need to further explain yourself. “Well there was that part in the movie where Emma got married, and that made me feel horrible because I recently lost my dad.. And my mom.”

“Wait, I’m sorry. You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he articulates, “I just noticed you haven’t been in class for a while and was kinda worried when I saw you crying. I’m sorry if I pushed your boundaries.”

“You know me?”

His lips tug up in embarrassment as he gingerly scratches the back of his neck. “Well we usually sit next to each other so I thought we formed an acquaintanceship or something,” he mumbles.

“Oh I’m sorry,” you pout at him, “I usually tap out during class so I never noticed you. What’s your name by the way?” You shyly stick out your hand, and he gives you a straight lined smile before shaking your hand gently.

“Sunghoon. I-I’m really sorry for your loss by the way,” he adds, and you find his nervousness quite endearing. You shyly smile at him, and he gazes back at you with similar amity. He ever so softly pulls your wrist towards his and scribbles his number onto your forearm. “Feel free to text me if you ever need help with homework. You missed a lot of school,” he offers, and you find yourself giggling at his forth forwardness.

“Thanks Sunghoon."

When Jungkook returns from work that night, the first thing he’s met with is you shoving your boots on, seemingly ready for a vivacious night out. Your figure is adorned with a white satin slip on dress, and your hair is put up in an elegant updo. Jungkook pauses, eyes settling on your figure before scanning up to your face; he thinks this is the first time he’s seen you with makeup on since he wiped away the mascara running down your cheeks the day he broke the news.

“Hey daddy,” you purr, “Where have you been? The kids have been waiting for you,” you giggle, sliding your mini purse down your arm.

Jungkook narrows his eyes at you, humorously scoffing at your corny choice of words.

You giggle, skipping towards him before jumping onto him, latching around his neck before you whisper in his ear. “‘m going out with my friends, don’t wait for me to get home because I might stay the night with Yunjin.”

Jungkook stiffens, remaining frozen while you back up from him.

“So, do I look like an angel, or what?”

“Always look cute,” because despite the infesting irritation bubbling in his system, he would never not tell you how it is. You are cute, always cute, always like an angel.

“Thanks,” you giggle, skipping towards the door but before you can skip past him, he latches onto your wrist. “Wait.”

You tilt your head, slightly confused. “I bought something for you.”

He digs in his backpack and pulls it out. Nipple pasties. “You never wear a bra, so I thought you’d be safer if you put these on before you go out.”

“You were the one who said I had small tits!”

“Okay, well you still have nipples- so at least put these on to keep you safe.”

You narrow your eyes at him, but he doesn’t back down. You snatch the pasties from his hand and march into the bathroom. “Fine!”

Jungkook lounges on the couch, eyes trained on you before you bid him goodbye and skip out of his apartment. He inhales deeply to settle the erratic palpitations in his chest. He needs to stop being so protective of you.

Your arms linked with Yunjin, you skip around from one club to the next, dancing and partying your little hearts out. When the night comes to a close you prance to the local ramen shop around your campus. From a distance, you can already make out Jungkook casually speaking with his friends. He’s always so animated when he’s with his friends, dramatically gesturing and hip thrusting in the air while his friends laugh at his immature jokes. He’s got a cigarette between his pointer and middle finger, taking slow puffs, allowing the smoke to fill his lungs before he tilts his head to exhale a long plume of smoke into the atmosphere.

That’s right. Jungkook smokes occasionally but never lets you do it. What a hypocrite.

His eyes drift off for a second until they land on you, and his lips curl up in your presence.

“Well look, if it isn’t my favorite girl,” he teases, letting out low laughter at the way you crimson when all his friends’ heads whip in your direction.

You narrow your eyes at him, giving him a dirty look that Jungkook cooes at. Even when you were trying to intimidate him you akin to a cute Snorlax, so adorable, eyebrows pinched and lips pouted- how could he feel anything but adoration at that?

“Aw angel,” he jests, throwing your words right back at you, “Don’t ignore me, ‘m sorry for teasing you,” he catches you as you walk past him, pulling you towards his chest before resting his chin on top of your head.

He casually smiles at Yunjin. “How’s my angel been doing? Has she been behaving?”

Yunjin’s jaw drops at the bold statement and you attempt to wrestle out of his firm embrace to berate him.

Just kidding. It’s getting late, though. Do you girls need a ride home?” he asks, finally letting you go just for you to stumble out of his grip and almost land on your face, but luckily Jungkook pulls your shoulders back without even looking in your direction.

“Jungkook, it’s literally 10,” you deadpan.

“Oh c’mon, I don’t want you girls to get kidnapped or something,” he snarkily responds.

“How about you give us some money instead?” Yunjin jests, clearly joking, but Jungkook takes it so, so seriously. He raises a brow at both of you. “How much do you need?”

“Wait no- I was kidding,” Yunjin quickly clarifies, her ears becoming slightly red, “you don’t have to..”

Jungkook looks from you to her, then back at you before whipping out his phone, taking another puff of his cigarette before blowing the smoke upwards, careful so you don’t inhale any smoke.

Ping!

Your eyebrows pinch in confusion when you get a notification, and you unzip your mini purse to grab your phone, allowing the screenlight to illuminate your pretty features.

JEON JUNGKOOK HAS TRANSFERRED YOU 500 DOLLARS VIA HYBETRANSFER.

“250 each, alright?” Jungkook laughs, taking another puff of his cigarette before he saunters off, his friends pushing him around and teasing him.

“Ayo, when did Jeon turn into a sugar daddy?”

You and Yunjin are left dumbfounded, even more so when Jungkook turns around and makes kissy lips at you.

You fall to your knees.

The next morning is the weekend.

You absentmindedly chomp on your cereal, eyes still crusty and mind still hazy from the morning daze. Jungkook arises from his bedroom, hair still messy and sticking out in various directions- but he still looks as handsome as ever, the tired and morning glow suiting him wondrously.

“So, I’m planning a trip with my friends at the beach. We’ll stay in an AirBnb. You wanna come with?”

You pause, features crinkling up in confusion. “Which friends? The ones from last night or Mingyu and them?”

“Mingyu, Tae, Jimin, Namjoon,” he counts off, before shrugging, “I already planned to take you with me so it’s not like you have a choice anyways.”

You scoff to yourself in amusement. “Aren’t you being too forceful?”

Jungkook narrows his eyes and graces you with a look of skepticism. “So you don’t want to go? or..”

“No!” you rapidly interject as you shoot up, clearing your throat and regaining your composure at the way Jungkook smirks at you.

You settle back into your seat. “I do want to go,” you exhale, “but do I have to pay for my own room or something? I’m broke.”

“Oh, I was just gonna have you stay in my room,” Jungkook responds, trailing off as he tries to detect any trace of apprehension on your features, “Is that alright with you?”

You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath until you breathlessly exhale. “That’s perfect.”

So that’s how you found yourself at the beach, in nothing but your black bikini, prancing around the waves with Taehyung.

“Jungkook watch!” you call as you swivel around towards Jungkook, who’s applying sunscreen to his legs, not really paying attention to what you were doing.

You stand in front of the upcoming wave, holding your arms out as if you were going to embrace the wave. “I’m going to stand against the wave!”

At that, Jungkook whips his head upwards, eyebrows pinching in worry as he shoots up. “Tae! Get her! She’s gonna get swept in by-“

And on cue, the wave collapses over you and you tumble into the unwelcoming water. “Motherfuck-“ You thrash and scream, powerless against the unforgiving currents until a pair strong arms pull you from your armpits and drags you to the sand.

“Holy shit Y/N, are you alright?” Taehyung asks, crouching beside you as he pats your back, allowing you to cough the water up.

“Y/N that was so dumb,” you hear Jungkook’s voice as he approaches you, crouching beside you as he hands you his black steel water bottle. “Take a sip,” he urges, and you nod shakily, grasping the bottle with both hands before you take a sip from it.

“I’m okay. Thanks for saving me Taehyung,” you smile at him and he releases a sigh of relief. “You scared the shit out of us!”

You gulp down the water and close the cap, returning his bottle to him. “Sorry, I won’t do that again, but can we get back to playing now?” you smile as you playfully fling a ball of wet sand at Jungkook.

Jungkook closes his eyes on impact, scoffing in amusement before he grabs you by your legs, signalling Taehyung to grab your arms before they both lift you and run into the ocean.

Jungkook waits outside your shared room, knuckles softly knocking on the wooden door. A towel loosely wrapped around his lower waist, water drips from every crevice on his body, but he can’t enter until you’re done changing.

“Oki! I’m done!” you call out, opening the door for him, a towel in your hand as you use it to scrunch up your damp hair.

“Wow. You’re really muscular,” you giggle, fingers hovering over his abs before you look up at him for approval to feel, to which he gently pushes your head aside and waltzes into the room.

When he’s done changing he beckons you back to the room, and you plop in the king sized bed, belly down and legs swinging back and forth in the air.

Jungkook lies down beside you, resting his head on the pillow as he scrolls aimlessly on his phone, only looking over when he hears your ringtone go off.

You answer the call almost immediately.

“Oh hey Sunghoon!” you greet, shooting up from the bed to touch up your appearance in the facetime camera.

Sunghoon. Jungkook knows all your friends and he hasn’t heard that name before.

“Hey Y/N, how’s your vacation going?” Sunghoon asks, and you take a seat at the desk, propping your phone up against the wall. You twirl an idle piece of hair around your fingers. “It’s really fun here, I feel great,” you explain, “so what’s up?”

“You look like you’re having fun- wait, is there someone in the room with you?”

You rapidly turn around and look at Jungkook, then tilt your phone at an angle where he isn’t visible. “Oh, he’s just a family friend, do you want me to go somewhere more private?”

“Oh no that’s cool, I was just wondering but I called to ask you about the homework…”

A family friend? Jungkook scowls at that. Wordlessly, he breezes past you and exits the room, closing the door and sits next to Jimin on the couch.

Jimin takes a few moments to acknowledge Jungkook’s presence. “Hey, is there anything going on between you and Y/N?” Jimin finally asks, eyebrows furrowing in concern when he perceives Jungkook’s sour face.

Jungkook pauses. “Why are you asking?”

Jimin shrugs. “I don’t know. Don’t you know she has a crush on you? Isn’t it inappropriate for you two to be sharing a room?” Jimin continues, nudging Jungkook with his elbow.

At that, Jungkook buries his face into his palms. He’s let this go on for far too long. “I know,” Jungkook murmurs, voice projection muffled by his hands.

“You know? The other day she asked me if it was possible between you two and I straight up told her that you wouldn’t go for it.”

Jungkook remains wordless at that, and he thinks he’s developed an idea of the reality of the situation.

Jungkook was too scared to address the subject with you; he let it linger for far too long. He didn’t want to burden you with anything else besides what you already had on your plate, and you got in your head about it. He never explicitly stated that he more than reciprocates your feelings, leaving you dangling on a string.

He’s going to fix that.

“No Jimin, that’s not it,” Jungkook clarifies, wiping his face with his palms. “I like her too, and I’m going to tell her tonight,” he states firmly, slightly craning his head to gauge Jimin’s reaction. His reaction isn’t what Jungkook expected. Instead of a look of concern, worry, or horror, Jimin looks over the moon.

“Well shit! I wish I knew that before! You guys look perfect together!” he exclaims before eagerly patting Jungkook on the back.

Jungkook raises his eyebrows at his friend. “Really? Don't you think I should wait a little longer? Until she's ready?”, to which Jimin simply shakes his head.

“Y/N's an adult. She can handle herself. I thought you wouldn't go for it because of the age gap, though. I guess I shouldn't have told her that," he says gingerly, scratching the back of his head. ”Sorry Kook."

Jungkook doesn't say anything, seemingly in deep contemplation. "It used to bother me,” Jungkook clarifies, "but it doesn't anymore."

“So what’s wrong with it?"

That’s right. There is nothing wrong with it.

A cool night on the beach. You feel the cool breeze through your air, the lunar radiance of the moon illuminating the beach. You’re adorned in a lovely, summer-esque two piece set with floral patterns running along the fabric, The top piece is cropped and strapless, exposing your collar bones and belly button piercing, and the bottom piece is a long, flowy skirt that blows marvelously against the wind.

You gingerly step outside the beach house, enjoying the cool sensation of the night breeze. The guys are all hanging out in the yard, soju bottles and beer cans scattered on the wooden benches positioned on the beach. Namjoon and Jimin are posted up on the benches, chowing down on meat whilst engaging in pretty animated conversation. You spot Mingyu and Taehyung running around the beach, slapping each other and chasing after each other, their dirty heels slipping against the coarse sand.

Jungkook is stationed at the grill, frying meat for his friends. His tall and built figure is concealed by his loose black T-shirt and black sweat shorts that you have worn a few times during your extended stay at his place.

You creep up behind him, swiping away the stray hairs that the wind blew into your face. Tapping him lightly on the back, you coyly skmile at him, a bashful glow illuminating your face.

Jungkook sensed your presence the moment stepped foot from the house, but still acts like it’s the first time he’s ever seen you. He does a double take, eyes scanning up and down your face and body- you look so lovely and elegant in your little two piece set. “Hey,” Jungkook finally returns your greeting, a little breathless.

“Can I have some?” you ask, pointing to the grill.

“Uh yea, I actually made a plate for you a second ago,” Jungkook takes the prepared plate of your favorite meats, but pauses before he hands it to you. He hasn’t a clue if you’re doing this on purpose, but you’re looking at him with the sultriest of eyes, and it drives him crazy. His Adam’s Apple bobs in his throat, and he collects himself before handing you the plate.

You tilt your head, sending him a look of confusion at his hesitance, but Jungkook sees it as a gateway to talk to you. “Y/N, can we talk? Like now?” Jungkook asks, rubbing at the nape of his neck.

“Sure, what about?” you solicit, setting the plate on the table.

Jungkook immediately shoves his hands in his pockets, and motions his head towards the beach, obliging you to follow him. “About what you told me at your house..” he trails off, “that one time in the middle of the night,” he adds.

He perceives the way your features morph into embarrassment, so he decides to take the lead on this conversation. He approaches you, standing beside you momentarily before smoothly lacing his fingers through yours. “Let’s go.”

Unable to conjure a proper response, you follow his footsteps in silence until your bodies appear as distant figures by the ocean. With your toes kissing the water washing up on shore, he turns back to look at you, fingers still intertwined. But you stop him before he can open his mouth.

“Wait- Jungkook. Let me explain myself first,” you begin, thankful that the night sky conceals the obvious bashful glow on your cheeks.

Jungkook who is seemingly expressionless nods his head, signaling you to let your words out.

You gently pull your hand from his, twiddling with your fingers before you can speak. “Firstly, I just wanna apologize.. to you,” you begin, ignoring the way his nose scrunches in confusion, “I feel like you’ve been so good to me- you always take care of me. Your family is the only family I have left,” you continue, bashfully tucking an idle strand of hair behind your ear.

“So I’m sorry for forcing myself on you, and I’m sorry for mistaking your care towards me as romantic affection,” you continue, subconsciously gesticulating with your hands. “I know you said you don’t like it when girls are clingy but I’ve been nothing but clingy, and you still take care of me and care about me.” Your words are passionate, and they’re true. “Everyone told me that a relationship with you would be inappropriate.. but I was too persistent and too selfish. I’m so sorry Kook. You must’ve been so shocked when I yelled at you and when I.. opened that shower curtain,” you finish, shaking your head in embarrassment.

When you finally complete the sentiment, you tilt your head upwards to gauge his reaction. His eyebrows pinch in confusion, and his mouth is slightly agape. “What?” he asks breathlessly, eyebrows pinching even further. He runs a tired hand over his face. “Y/N- just- I can’t believe you said that. Y/N, I love you. And I don’t care if you’re clingy, and I don’t care what anybody else thinks of us.”

You gasp at his words, a profound sense of emotion absolutely overwhelming you.

“What I care about is what you think of me, and whether you’re happy,” His fingers find yours, and he holds your hand and looks right into your eyes to properly convey his sincerity. “Y/N, I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner. You were just going through so much shit and I didn’t know if you were in the right headspace or if you were even serious about how you felt for me-”

He stops when you yank your hands away from him, using the back of your hands to wipe the tears streaming down your face. The shapes of his eyes turn into little crescents, petrified at your reactions. He removes your hands from your face, holding your wrists.

“Y/N, don’t cry. Please say something.”

“Jungkook, it’s too late. I-I don’t think I can do this- with you- I mean,” is all you’re able to say and Jungkook’s chest tightens impossibly.

His heart drops to your stomach, a crestfallen expression morphing onto his handsome features. “I-is that how you really feel?”

Another tear streams down your face and Jungkook itches to wipe it but suppresses that urge.

“I love you Jungkook. I do. I really do!” you cry out, “But I can’t date you, ever. I never want to lose you,” you sob between sniffles. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m sure of it!”

The situation is bitterly ironic. Jungkook spent months tiptoeing around his feelings, your feelings, because he wanted to ensure he was what you wanted. Even when you blatantly threw yourself at him, he made the conscious decision to not pursue you. He spent months deciding your feelings for you- and now you’re telling him you don’t want him and he can’t do anything but accept it.

“Y/N, you’ll never lose me. I’ll always be here. Even if you change your mind.. I’ll always be here.”

“Jungkook, I lost my whole family. You’re all I have left,” you explain, trailing off a little bit, “If I lose you then I have nobody.”

“No, I swear- Y/N, you’re it for me, and I mean it.”

You sniffle, wiping your cheeks, eyes, and nose once more. “What- hiccup- does that mean?”

“It means… whatever you want it to mean,” he concludes.

“Jungkook…” you trail off, “Don’t wait for me. If you find a girl you like, then you should go for her. All I want is for you to be happy. It’s what you deserve,” you offer him a soft smile, a direct juxtaposition to your tear stained cheeks.

His chest tightens at that and he shakes his head. “You’ll always be my priority. Me? I’ve dated enough girls, I can be single for the rest of my life.”

You immediately swat his chest at the sentiment. “No, Jungkook. You should be with someone who takes care of you, not someone you have to take care of all the time. I’ll just always be your family friend who had a stupid crush on you in college.” Your attempt to lighten the atmosphere is futile and makes Jungkook’s scowl deepen.

“You’re more than that to me. You’ll always be.” His hand latches onto yours, and you pull yourself from him.

“No Jungkook.. I’ve made up my mind. I really don’t think we could ever…” When your voice breaks and more tears accumulate in your waterline, Jungkook stops you, not wanting to cause you any more pain.

“I got it, Y/N. But just know I’ll always be here… in any way you’ll take me.”

READ PART 2 HERE

taglist: @babycandy111 @jk97bam @bellagrayson-wayne @honeeybunneey (can't be tagged), @talyaaas-blog , @jjeonjjk7 , @lovingkoalaface , @rvck0lover (can't be tagged), @kissyfacekoo , @dontcribuyabag (can't be tagged), @ash07128 , @cinnamonbambii , @jeon-ruby , @starlight-1010 , @hellbornsworld , @dodoneck, @papiibuprofen , @canyon-lwt , @appleh4ad , @screamertannie , @jeonjenny (can't be tagged), @ahgasegotarmy116 , @badaismygf (can't be tagged), @oopscoop , @gabsrecs , @hiii-priestess , @junniesoleilkth (can't be tagged) , @caro134340lina , @ellesalazar

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bts jungkook angst #jungkook fic #jungkook imagines #jungkook drabbles #jungkook series #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts imagines

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futureman · 11 months

Note

since seeing that pic of pedro’s arms I’ve literally been FERAL all day…. would it be possible for you to write something short about joel’s arms? 🫶🏽 (maybe like how they look when he holds you, when you guys make love, when he’s working, when you hold hands etc) is this weird or even possible idk I just love arms

hi lovely anon!! read this and immediately ran to write it, but i uhhhh missed the part where you said short and went a lil ham. hope you enjoy!

here in your arms

pairing: joel miller x reader

warnings: 18+ MDNI, post-outbreak, language, fluff, mentions of body insecurities, comfort, smut, lots and lots of arm touching

word count: 1.8k

It’s hot as all hell in this bedroom, but you’re choosing to ignore it this morning. You’ll gladly sweat to death, even melt into a damn puddle if it means that Joel’s very warm, very naked body stays wrapped around you.

As long as you can relish his thigh nestled between your legs, and those thick, thick arms pillowed under your head and draped over your waist. You’d burn in hell for all you care. Careful not to wake him, you turn your head slowly to press a kiss into his bicep, and the muscle twitches against your lips.

The sudden movement startles a soft gasp out of you and fills you with heat so much worse than the stifling humidity in the air. You go completely still, holding your breath for a few moments while you wait to see if he wakes up, but the rise and fall of his chest maintains its steady rhythm against your back. Curiously, you lean in to kiss him a second time and, shit, there it goes again.

An intrusive thought suddenly pops into your sleep-addled brain, telling you how good it would feel to sink your teeth into the firm, velvety skin. How salty it would taste on your tongue, and how he would probably unconsciously resist you, that twitch becoming a full-blown flex. You give into it before you can stop yourself, roughly biting a bruise into his arm, sucking hard when the muscle spasms into your mouth.

And that definitely wakes him up.

“Christ—w-what the—,” he rips his arm out from under you, and you immediately mourn the loss as your head flops onto his pillow. “—what…baby, the fuck was that for?”

You turn over, looking up at him sheepishly. He looks bleary-eyed, his soft, graying curls in complete disarray, but you can't bring yourself to feel particularly bad. That was totally worth it.

He eyes you expectantly when you don’t immediately answer, still looking dazed and a little stunned after being woken up so abruptly.

“Wanna tell me what that was?” he asks again, voice slurred and thick with sleep. He's propped up on his elbow above you, bicep still in reach, so you press an apologetic kiss into his reddening skin...and your teeth marks.

"I...honestly, I got nothing," you laugh, nuzzling into the crook of his elbow, mouthing wetly around the edges of the bruise. "It was right next to my face, so I kinda just went for it."

Your tongue darts out to taste him and it's even better than you thought, heady and so distinctly Joel, so you continue your path, shifting to the side to brush your lips along his forearm. He tenses, almost imperceptibly, but you feel it keenly, the intricately corded muscles shifting under his tanned, weather-worn skin.

"You could take it as a compliment," you continue, tilting your head to throw him a cheeky smile. He quirks an eyebrow as if to ask how waking him up at ass o'clock in the morning on his day off could be complimentary. "I'm just admiring all that work you've been putting in on those extra patrol shifts."

He looks a little dubious, and it makes your heart ache. For as long as you've known him, and even more so since you've been together, Joel's never been great with praise, especially when it comes to his body. Maybe it's the age difference or just aging, but he wouldn't allow himself to be vulnerable with you for a long time, emotionally or physically.

He'd hide himself from you, always mumbling things you hated hearing about the softness of his stomach, the lines adorning his brow, or the skin under his arms, and it would make you furious. How dare he say any of that when you love all of those bits and pieces so much?

So, you've made it your personal mission to make sure he knows exactly how sexy he is whenever you get the chance, whether he's covered in grime and viscera, or completely naked and inside you.

"Probably coulda waited until later, don't'cha think?" There's a tiny smile forming on his tired face, and it encourages you to keep going.

"Yeah, but isn't this more convincing? You looked so good, I couldn't even help myself," you say, running your fingertips along a beautifully jagged scar that runs right through where you bit him. You squeeze his arm teasingly, and he flexes for you, on purpose this time. "So strong," you joke, your tone completely contradicting the ache worsening in your core.

He chuckles, and his whole body shakes with it, jostling the thigh still wedged between your legs. That familiar heat from earlier returns with a vengeance as it drags across where you're still slick with last night's release, and you inhale sharply, catching his attention.

"Ya like my arms that much, huh?" he mumbles, voice unexpectedly gravelly, but the way he's looking at you is so fond, full of affection and something a little more complicated.

"I really, really do," you reply softly, reaching out to wrap your fingers around his wrist to drape his other arm over your waist. He wraps himself around you, pulling you tight against his chest, and you feel so tiny in his arms. Protected.

And he feels so powerful. You barely get the chance to nuzzle into the coarse hairs tickling your cheek before you’re flipped on top of him, knees bracketing his hips. Your hands shoot out to steady yourself and land on his shoulders, squeezing once you've settled into his lap.

His eyes meet yours, and there's that complicated look again, the one you still haven't figured out. Your mind races, searching for the answer, until his hands splay across your waist, thick-fingered and broad.

And then he's lifting you up, just enough to line himself up with your entrance, and easing you down and up until he's fully seated inside you.

You breathe out a sigh of relief in unison, adjusting to the other as sweat drips freely down your bodies. The room is still scorching, even hotter now with the rising sun and your combined exertion.

That beautiful flush Joel gets when you're intimate has started to spread from his cheeks down to his neck, spilling across his chest and into those perfect goddamn arms, straining with the effort of holding himself back from fucking into you like he wants to.

But you want something, too.

"Joel, can you...," you breathe out, feeling a little shy for asking but needing it badly enough to go through with it anyway. "Fuck, can you do it, please?"

He looks confused but so needy, nodding his head before he even knows what you're asking for.

"'Course, baby, whatever you want," he grits out, grip tightening on your waist. "Jus' tell me 'n I'll do it."

"Use me. Want you to show me how strong you are—handle me," you suck your bottom lip wetly into your mouth, trailing your fingers from his shoulders downward, digging your nails into the hard planes of his deltoids. He hisses out a breath through his teeth. "Will you do that for me?"

In lieu of an answer, he lurches forward, sitting up with you in his lap to give you exactly what you asked for. And it's better than you ever could've imagined.

The solid muscle in his upper arms bulges as he drives you up and down his cock, and you wrap your hands around them greedily, feeling every expansion and contraction. Your mouth waters as you watch his thick, prominent veins strain against his skin, and you're hit with a sudden, strong urge to bite him again.

So, you do. You bend down to suck hard at the taught skin, and his responding groan is so loud and drawn out, you feel it rumble beneath your lips.

"Shit—baby, you keep doin' that, 'm not gonna last long," he moans into your ear, still bouncing you on his cock, showing zero signs of slowing down.

Fuck, how is he so strong? He's lifting you up and down like you're a ragdoll, shaking your entire being with the force, and you clench tighter as you hurtle closer to the edge. You separate your mouth from him to drop your head into the crook of his neck so you can watch him. Watch the raw power flowing through his body, and all those perfect parts he doesn't like about himself work you like no one ever has before.

And he's watching you, too, with so much want and desire, and, ah. That's what it is. That look—it's appreciation. He looks so grateful for you that you want to drown in it, surround yourself with it.

"Good. Hold me," you whimper, muffled as you throw your arms around his shoulders to bury your face into his skin. "Hold me close when you cum."

He must've been right there, teetering on the cusp, because suddenly his arms snake around you, crushing you to his chest as he pistons up, cumming as deep as he can reach. They tense against you erratically, matching every pulse of his cock as he empties inside you.

He moans softly and sweetly in your ear as you cry out into his, your lower half squeezing him rhythmically as your orgasm crashes over you. You let him grind up into you through the aftershocks until you're both too exhausted to stay upright.

Tipping backward, Joel brings you back down onto the bed with him and rolls you over onto your sides. You smile up at him lazily, still happily nestled up against his chest, and he bends down to press a tender kiss to your forehead.

"Hell of a workout ya just put me through," he mumbles, sounding incredibly amused and thoroughly tired out.

"Seemed like you enjoyed yourself, though," you snort, shifting just enough that his cock slips out of you, a thick glob of cum dripping onto the sheets. "I know I sure did."

"Yeah, bet ya did," he rolls his eyes, pinching your sides teasingly. "'Specially since I was doin' all the damn work."

"But you were so good at it," you can't help but wriggle your arms out from where they're wedged between your bodies to stroke his arms again. And hopefully his ego. "And you looked so good doing it."

His cheeks tinge that pretty shade of burgundy you love, and you know you hit the mark. He ducks his head down to kiss your cheek.

"Uh-huh. Next time, s'gonna be your workout," he murmurs, sighing as you start to massage his sore muscles. They twitch tiredly under your careful attention. His eyes flutter closed as the heat and exhaustion finally catch up with him, muttering sleepily, "'n I get to enjoy the view."

You lean up to kiss his lips, chaste and gentle.

"Deal."

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller

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happyandticklish · 1 year

Text

Dropping the Controversial Tickling Tea~

A list of takes that may be controversial but I no longer care because these issues are argued about far too often not to say anything

It’s okay to have preferences. I feel like we understand this concept on the lee side, but ostracize it on the ler side. If someone doesn’t like being tickled in a certain area, we okay that, but if someone doesn’t like to tickle a certain area, then people become defensive as though it is somehow specifically targeting them. If a ler doesn’t like to tickle feet, understandable! If they exclusively like to tickle feet, ALSO understandable! If a ler doesn’t like to tickle a certain area but the lee loves being tickled there, then that is something to discuss and talk about. Maybe they’re willing to budge on that point, maybe they’re not, but either way, neither side should force the other to do something that makes them uncomfortable.

The SFW and the NSFW community are not always black and white. Some people view tickling as a kink in certain scenarios, and platonic in others, and that’s fine. Some people don’t view tickling as a sexual act, but enjoy when it’s combined with sex because it makes them feel loved. Some people view tickling as romantic, but not necessarily sexual. It is not simply platonic or sexual, it’s a much larger gray area than people give it credit for. It’s okay to view it as completely non-sexual too, as well as to get off on it. That does not mean you have the right to judge other people for the way they enjoy it. We’re all just trying to get along here.

Fictional characters are just that—fictional. If you write a fic where Bakugo kills Deku it does not mean you are advocating murder, you are simply exploring a perspective. If you write a fic where Bakugo holds down Deku and tickles him while he begs for it to stop, that is also, technically, okay. Although non-con is a pretty big no-no in real life, fictional characters are an outlet to express... well, pretty much anything. If you write a fic where Levi is tied up against his will and tickled, that’s your prerogative. So long as you are not genuinely inflicting harm on anyone, that’s fine. I personally am not a huge fan of non-con in fics, but you do you boo. Not to mention, sometimes you just want to write fucked up stories. My Gorillaz fic is hella non-consensual in part one because they have a fucked up relationship and I was exploring what would happen if you combined that idea with something like a tickle kink. It does not mean I support it in real life. Stop criminalizing tumblr users as if these fictional characters are real people.

On that note—non-con is not always bad. I’m not going to get too into this as I’m not the most informed individual on the matter, but CNC does exist, and blends a form of consent and non-consent together, with the victims okaying it upfront and allowing their consent to be overridden later on. So. You know. That exists, so non-con can even be ethical IRL in certain situations.

If you like feet, that’s okay. This one’s pretty simple. Stop kink-shaming people, guys. If you don’t like feet, cool, don’t be a dick to others about it. Hands are grosser bacteria wise than feet anyway.

Aging up fictional characters is not morally wrong. This goes back to the fictional characters rule. Sometimes it’s just to explore a different perspective, sometimes it’s because the show freezes with them at like 16 or something so you’ll never have a chance to write about them in an adult context. Again, fictional characters, not real, we could argue the ethics of it all day long, but at the end of the day no IRL minors/adults are being harmed.

You can be an older person writing fanfiction in the tickle community. I’m using the term older broadly to mean anyone between 25-60+ because often it is past 25 once tumblr users start being weird about it. Almost all published writers are adults, if anything it makes more sense to be in your thirties and writing fanfiction, tickling related or otherwise. There is no time limit to existing within the community, so do not bully people for this.

On that note, I don’t think minors should be ostracized from the community. I understand that we want to protect the innocence of youth, but at the same time it is highly hypocritical to put those expectations on them. I’ve been scrolling tk fics since I was 8 and have been lurking on tumblr since 12, and definitely took in some content that was more,,,, NSFW in nature. Now, whether that was the healthiest way to exist on the internet or not, I don’t know, but the point is that I did it, as have many other people on here. We did not all wait till we were 18 to make accounts on here.

It is nearly impossible to exclude minors from the kink side of the community. It is both possible and realistic that people will develop a sexuality at an early age, usually around puberty. I don’t think you should be engaging in sex at that age per se, but you are most certainly not blind to the concept. Kinks also tend to develop early on in people, either subconscious or otherwise. For many children, they turn to the internet to try to understand these feelings as they don’t feel like they can confide in their peers. The reality of minors on the internet being exposed to sexual content is a given. You can put up as many DNI or DNF’s as you want, but at the end of the day there is nothing to stop them from lurking. People can also lie about their age just as easily. I’m not saying minors should be involved in the kink community, I’m just saying that, realistically, they are. Not to mention, the term “minor” goes all the way up to 17. So minor does not always mean 9-12 year old's, and that’s important to remember.

If a content creator is not comfortable with something, don’t push it on them. Like I said, everyone has preferences and if they don’t have theirs listed there’s no real way to help accidentally suggesting a request/commission at some point that makes them uncomfy. The best you can do at that point is respect their opinions and try to think of a different request that they might be more comfortable with. There’s nothing wrong with you for asking it or them for not wanting to do it, so long as both of you are respectful about communicating these things to each other.

Please, please, please do not be forcing tickling on real life people if they hate it. Fictional characters is one thing, but real people have real feelings and needs that can be seriously hurt if you push their boundaries. This does not apply to playful pokes, a gently tasing someone from behind as that all falls under general friendly rough-housing with friends. But, if a person tells you that they don’t like tickling, do not force it on them. Being tickled is an unbelievably vulnerable situation and it can be traumatizing if you are forced to endure it. Hence why so many adults hate it due to older siblings when they were younger. This falls in with the unspoken don’t be a dick to people rule.

Recognize the validity of switches. Switches are versatile, yes (I would know, being one ;)), however, they they are not merely puppets to fill whichever role you need them to. If a switch is in a lee mood, do not try to force them into the opposite position, or vice versa. They have no obligation to fit specifically the mood you’re in; they’re people too.

Finally, the Tickle Community is varied! In general, we tend to lump everyone into one large group all centered around one interest—tickling. However, the community is comprised of a variety of different subsets that do not all fit together evenly. There’s people who enjoy it in a fictional sense, people who enjoy it IRL, people who like both, the SFW and NSFW sides of the community, and a million other distinctive groups. It is not fair to try to expect everyone to bend to your particular beliefs around tickling, as we are all just trying to enjoy it in our way.

#tickling #important #there are probably more of these but these are the ones that ive seen the biggest issues crop up with #some of these are pretty obvious but i am willing to discuss (calmy) the points made here if anyone is confused

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yanderes-galore · 7 months

Note

could I request platonic yandere Henry emily hcs? 🌹🦢

Thats about all I have, thank you!

Hope you have fun writing

Sure! I got a photo of him from the wiki for the banner :) Hopefully I get his character right with my research. May be short as there isn't much we know about Henry but I tried? This is very... rambly (?) so I hope you like it!

Yandere! Platonic! Henry Emily Concept

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective behavior, Obsessive tendencies, Cold behavior, Manipulation, Unhealthy coping mechanisms, Mentions of death/murder, Delusional behavior, Projecting, Dark themes, Mentions of child darling/Overprotective father.

I feel Henry isn't as good as a character as we think, in any media.

I'd say he's a gray character, he isn't necessarily good or bad.

He has his imperfections, especially after the death of his daughter at the hands of William.

He isn't the best father and certainly would project onto you.

In terms of being a platonic yandere, he'd definitely be more parental.

Henry would still not be the best before and after the death of his daughter.

Maybe you're a friend of Charlotte or even a sibling.

Before Charlotte is murdered, Henry is an okay father.

He's still rather distant due to working on his animatronics, yet he feels his heart melt when you play with Charlotte.

He loves you both, regardless on if you're a family friend or sibling.

Although a sibling would make more sense.

Henry's behavior wouldn't increase until the death of Charlotte.

This way, if we're going by the younger child darling route even though I don't do it often, then he'd definitely project onto you.

He'd treat you like you're the only thing he had left.

In fact, in many ways you are.

He becomes protective and paranoid at the idea of William taking you too.

It's weird behavior... even if he is a grieving man... everything is completely unhealthy.

He doesn't like you out of his sight, even as a teen he's still an overprotective father.

He gives you small mechanical robots as gifts.

When he isn't drowning himself in work then he's paying attention to you.

Henry is a broken man and not the best father.

He fears the idea of you growing up and maybe getting caught by someone.

If we take this route he'd be a helicopter dad and very protective due to the trauma of losing his daughter.

There's another way to look at a platonic Henry, too.

This version you can be older and he still projects onto you.

Maybe he takes you in as an apprentice and due to your young age, he starts to wonder if Charlotte would've been like you when she grew up.

He sees you as a replacement for the child he lost.

If he still had contact with William he keeps you far from him.

Henry wouldn't really murder like his coworker William.

He's protective, paranoid, and unstable.

Yet when/if he snaps... it's more self-destructive than anything.

Honestly, Henry just wants revenge for Charlotte.

He wants to put an end to things.

You help him get through things.

In fact, it's canon he's depressed after Charlotte.

You both make things better and worse, since he treats you like he'd treat Charlotte if she was alive.

The most "yandere" thing about Henry I can think of is him being delusional.

In this AU he can't get over the murder of his child and uses you as a stand-in.

Regardless of your origin or gender, you become the new "Charlotte".

He wants to correct his failure to prevent her fate.

As a result you're treated like a different person.

The longer Henry is around you, the more he tries to fit you into the role he wants.

Henry, even without the dark twist I gave him, is a selfish and twisted man.

He may not be as bad as William, but he is the lesser of two evils.

You become his coping mechanism, his form of comfort...

While you slowly begin to lose your independence and sense of self.

#yandere five nights at freddy's #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf pizzeria simulator #yandere fnaf 6 #yandere henry emily #platonic yandere

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3hobbitsinatrenchcoat · 6 months

Text

Gray's SuperBat Fic Recs

I have spent since May reading through the SuperBat tag on AO3 and have over 100 fics saved in my bookmarks but @thebibliosphere mentioned wanting some recs so I'm going to just rec a few that live in my head rent free.

(these are in no particular preference order other than they're probably in this order in my bookmarks XD) (also if you're an author and I have tagged the wrong blog let me know and I will change it)

An Innocent Cicisbeo by @mithen - This is the most recent one I've bookmarked, so it's very much so on my mind. I'm not usually one for Regency AUs but I really like how this one handled keeping everyone's powers and abilities but making them more tailored to the age. Also it's an arranged marriage AU and I am very weak for those.

Take Care of Business by @frownyalfred - A work teleconference that descends into absolute chaos in the form of the batkids, who woke up and chose violence. This one is good on it's own but there's also a podfic version by @mayonnaisetoffees that kicks that chaos up to 11.

Through a Glass Darkly by @susiecarter - An apocalypse AU of the snyderverse, this one is quite dark but slowly grows more positive over time. It features some extremely spot-on characterizations and an overall Mad Max vibe that I enjoy immensely.

This Time Around by @castlesteads - What's better than one formerly dead person trying to find their place in the world? TWO formerly dead people trying to find their place in the world. Clark helps Jason claw his way out of his grave and back to the land of the living. I love a found family where they quite literally find each other in the most heartbreaking ways possible.

Build Me A Place (we'll call it home) by @spiritsflame - I love it when Kryptonians are completely normal until they really aren't. This one features Clark completely remodeling his apartment because of courtship instincts and Bruce badly fumbling the entire situation. I just want to shake both of them.

don't know the rules but i got to win by @susiecarter - This is another weird Kryptonian trait thing... but this time it is non-standard abstract reproduction feat. gardening. Surprisingly enough this isn't even the first fandom I have come across with gardening as a reproductive vector. Always a different take though. This one features literal fruit-based flirting and innuendo, for a start.

A Common Misconception by rotasha - I have a very special place in my heart for fake dating aus, but this one is like watching two guys play an extremely slow and obvious game of chicken while not even realizing they're in a game at all. Fake dating for a whole year without catching feelings? Psh, easy. Spoiler alert, I don't entirely remember right now but I don't think they even make it a year XD

over this threshold by orphean - Another fake dating au but an entirely different vibe. Getting married for tax reasons is the oldest trick in the book but I am always here for falling in love when you're already planning on getting married. Also for someone so very smart Bruce can be extremely dumb and I love that for him.

Masking by @bombusbombus - I've read this fic like... probably more than 5 times and I am working (slowly) on a podfic of it. It heavily features both Clark and Bruce being neurodivergent together and falling in love via spending long hours in parallel play and infodumping and mutual unmasking both literal and figurative and just... I see a lot of myself in this fic.

There's a ton more I could rec, they're all in my bookmarks on AO3 but these are the ones that live in my brain the most these days. I hope others like them as much as I do.

#superbat #fic rec #rec list #dc comics #superman #batman #fanfiction

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all-the-things-2020 · 4 months

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Late Night Talking

A Dieter Bravo x OFC fic

Notes: Title comes from the Harry Styles song. I heard it on the radio one day and the line “Now you’re in my life, I can’t get you off my mind” just screamed Dieter to me.

My Dieter is (mostly) sober and trying to put his life and career back together after hitting the bottom during the filming of Cliff Beasts 6. He is still a menace but he’s working on it. There will be comedy, angst, fluff and possibly some smut (not sure how explicit my narrator will get).

Narrator is an original female character loosely based on myself. She is around Dieter’s age, not thin, and introverted. He turns her life upside down and she’s not quite prepared for it.

Tagging @rhoorl because her Dieter in “Working Title” inspired me to start this fic!

Chapter One below the cut

I met him in a bookshop, of all places. Not exactly the environment you’d expect, but sometimes fate works in mysterious ways. Bookshops are one of the few places I frequented where it’s even remotely possible to meet a man. I’ve never liked bars or clubs; too noisy, too many creeps trying to be charming and getting too hands. As an introvert, I prefer quieter surroundings, like bookshops, museums, and botanical gardens. Not exactly hot spots for single guys, but I wasn’t trying to meet anyone. I was always open to whatever might happen, though.

I was in The Last Bookstore in downtown L.A. It was the first day of my summer break and I’d challenged myself to get out of my box a little and do things I’d never done before. I’d taken the train into the city, which I’d never done by myself. Of course, once I got into L.A., I ended up in my preferred habitat, surrounded by books.

I had spotted a book on my to-be-read list on the top shelf. Being petite (the polite way of saying I was short), I couldn’t quite reach it. I was debating whether the shelves were structurally sound enough for me to try standing on the bottom shelf to reach it when I heard a low, warm voice behind me say, “Let me.”

An arm reached up, easily plucking the book off the shelf and handing it to me. “Good choice,” the voice said. “That’s one of my favorites.”

I knew that voice. Turning to see the man who stood next to me, my suspicions were confirmed. It was Dieter Bravo. He was wearing a baggy gray t-shirt, a well-worn pair of jeans and some god-awful Crocs that had seen better days. His hair looked like he’d forgotten to comb it that morning and his scruffy beard and mustache could use a trim. But he was wearing glasses and his deep brown eyes were looking directly into mine, so that was all I saw.

“Thanks,” I managed to say, hoping I wasn’t blushing or anything ridiculous like that.

“No worries,” he said with a smile. He indicated the small stack of books in my hands with his chin. “You’ve got good taste.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks,” I said. Real smooth, doofus, I told myself. I tried to start over. “I read a ton of YA for work, so I’m trying to read more ‘grown-up’ stuff during the summer.”

He leaned against the bookshelf, his broad shoulders blocking the aisle. “YA?,” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Young Adult,” I explained. “I work in a high school library. A lot of it is really good, but after nine or ten months of dystopian love triangles and hot werewolves and teenagers with weird diseases falling in love, I find myself craving something more substantial.”

He smiled again. “I can imagine,” he said. “So, a librarian, huh? Oh, I’m Dieter, by the way.” He held out his hand and I shook it. It was huge and warm and made my knees melt.

“Um, yeah, I know,” I stammered. “I recognized you. I’m, ha, a big fan of your work.” I felt like a complete idiot as I stumbled over my words. “I’m Emily.”

“Well, Emily, this might be a dumb question, considering your line of work, but do you come here often?” He chuckled as he seemed to realize how cliched his questions was.

“Actually, this is my first time here,” I said. “I’ve always wanted to visit this shop, I never got around to it. I live out in the boondocks, so I don’t get into L.A. very often.”

“It’s great,” he said. “I don’t get here very often, though. Always too busy, it seems.”

We chatted for a bit, about the books we were buying, and favorites we’d both read (and made a few recommendations to each other when we mentioned titles the other hadn’t read). Then the conversation turned back to bookshops.

“I usually end up at Barnes & Noble,” I admitted. “There’s a good indie bookseller in Riverside, but it’s kind of small. My absolute favorite bookshop is Vroman’s in Pasadena. I don’t get there as often as I’d like, though.”

“Vroman’s,” he said, wrinkling his forehead. “I think I’ve heard of it but I’ve never been there.”

“Oh, you should go!” I said. I loved talking about my favorite bookshop and started rattling on. “They have all kinds of great stuff besides books. Plus a wine bar.”

“Whoa, books and booze? Sign me up.” He smiled that radiant smile I’d seen in a million photos, the one that always made me feel funny inside.

“Then you should definitely go.”

“Is that an invitation?”

I was stunned, but managed to speak without stumbling too much over the words. “Sure, why not?” Holy crap, he’s flirting with me!

Dieter pulled out his phone. “Let’s see,” he said, scrolling through the phone. “Um, I’m free Friday evening. I have a meeting at two, but I should be out of there by four at the latest. It’s in Burbank, I can probably make it to Pasadena by five, if that works for you?”

My tongue felt like it was swollen to twice its normal size. Was he actually asking me out? Or had I accidentally asked him? “Um, yeah,” I stammered. “Friday’s good, yeah.”

“Okay, then.” He tapped away at his phone and then slipped it back into his pocket. “It’s a date. Friday, five o’clock, Vroman’s.” He winked and now I knew I was blushing like a fool. He glanced at his wristwatch. “I have a meeting with my agent in an hour, so I’d better go pay for these and get going.” He pulled his phone back out and opened up the Contacts app. “Here,” he said, handing the phone to me. “Put in your number.”

I did and handed the phone back to him. He put it back in his pocket (oh, how I tried not to look too closely at that pocket, afraid he’d think I was checking out his crotch), then held out his hand again, wiggling his fingers. “Your phone?”

“Oh, yeah.” I pulled my own phone out of my purse and handed it to him. He opened my Contacts app and typed in his name and number. As he handed it back to me, our fingers brushed against each other and he smiled.

“See you Friday.” He turned and walked away, heading for the cash registers on the ground floor. I stood in the aisle for several minutes, staring at my phone. I had a date with Dieter fucking Bravo, and he’d given me his phone number.

I waited until he’d left the store, then went to the register myself. “Hey, you just missed Dieter Bravo,” the clerk said. “I got his autograph.”

I got his phone number, I wanted to say, but I didn’t. The kid behind the counter was thrilled to have had an encounter with a celebrity; he didn’t need me rubbing his nose in my good fortune. That didn’t keep me from texting my best friend Sam once I was back on the train headed for the IE. We’d been friends in elementary school before her family moved back East the summer before junior high. We’d kept in touch over the years, first by letters and now by text and Facebook.

Sam replied with a string of emojis and punctuation marks. <Don’t fuck with me, Em. It’s not funny>

I clicked over to my Contacts and stared at the screen. The name “DB❤️” stared back at me. It was real.

I sketched out the encounter for her.

<You’re living in a rom com, I swear. But be careful. Heard he’s a bit of a wild child. Make him wear a condom. You don’t know where he’s been>

It was joke between us that Sam had grown up to love wearing stiletto heels and clubbing while I preferred flats and quiet evenings. We always said it was a good thing we lived so far apart or we’d never have remained friends. And yet Sam was the one who was married with three kids and a job in finance, while I was still unattached and basically living paycheck to paycheck.

<I’ll tell you all about the date, I promise. Luv u>

I put away my phone and stared out the window, watching the backyards and alleys of Southern California flash by. What a world, where I woke up in my tiny condo thinking the highlight of my day would be a new book and lunch at Olvera Strett, and now I had a date with a famous actor. Only in L.A. I mused. It really is La La Land.

#pedro pascal character fanfiction #dieter x reader #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x ofc #the bubble fanfiction

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twistedminutia · 6 months

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Twst Talk: How Natural is Unnatural Hair?

Like a lot of anime and cartoons, many of the characters in Twisted Wonderland have fantastical hair (and eye) colors that seem to be natural to them, despite being completely unnatural hair colors here. Which made me wonder: how common is it to have strange hair colors in the world of Twisted Wonderland?

Some basic guidelines before we start: first, I will be doing two groups of comparison, one human and one nonhuman. We don’t have merfolk or beastmen or Fae in our world, so there’s no telling what kind of hair color is natural for them, and it didn’t seem fair to include them with other humans without a baseline looking at just humans. For the purposes of this writing, Sebek will be classified as a Fae (I’m sure he’d be thrilled).

Second, hair dye and presumably even magical methods of changing hair color exist in Twisted Wonderland. I am going to assume that everyone’s hair color is their natural hair color unless there is canon material (in or out of game) that states otherwise or I have a good reason to suspect their hair color is not natural.

Third, in the interest of getting as big of a sample size as possible, I’m going to be including all named characters with sprites that have been introduced so far, including in the JP server, so there will be spoilers for JP server events and chapter 7. Theoretically, I guess I could include the background characters as well, but I am not interested in trying to categorize all of them. If someone else wants to do that and add to my results, feel free.

Fourth, there are going to be some exclusions. First on the list: Idia and Ortho. Their hair color is explicitly stated to be part of a curse, which means that it’s magically caused. Since this list is supposed to be about what hair colors occur naturally in Twisted Wonderland, they’re out. Second: Marja (Epel’s grandmother) and professor Trein. Both of them have had their hair turn white and gray, respectively, with age. Since we don’t know what their original hair color was, I’m making the executive decision not to include them in the count. I’ll also exclude the Faerie Queen and assorted elemental fairies and Eliza, since their hair seems to be more like element or vapor based than actual hair. Everybody else is fair game. Let’s get into it!

The Humans

We’ll be listing all humans with unnatural hair colors first, along with their hair color, then the natural ones, then the conclusion and percentages.

Unnatural hair colors: Deuce (blue), Trey (green), Riddle (yes, red is technically a natural hair color, but what we refer to as red is usually more of an orange color, like Cater or Ace’s hair; I’m going to consider Riddle’s blood red hair as unnatural), Kalim (yes, white is also technically natural, but it’s pretty rare for someone his age and there’s no indication that his hair color is unusual that I’ve seen so I’ll count it), Epel (lavender), Mama Spade (seemingly mixed blue and blonde), Rollo (white/gray). Total: 7

Natural hair colors: Cater (ginger), Ace (ginger), Jamil (brown), Rook (blond), Vil (OKAY YES HE HAS PURPLE IN HIS HAIR but we never see any other character who has ombré hair like that, even in other two-color characters, so I’m going to make an executive decision and list him as blond), Silver (yes, silver hair is not natural, but we learn in Ch 7 that his silver hair is caused by magic and his natural hair color is blond, so he will be listed as a blond here), Coach Vargas (black), Crewel (black; he canonically dyes the white part of his hair), Sam (black), Najma (brown), Neige (black). Total: 11

So that makes 18 total human characters with 7 having unnatural hair colors and 10 having natural ones. It’s unfortunate that the characters I had to exclude were all human, since this is kind of a small sample size. But, with 7/18 characters having unnatural hair colors, the total percentage of weird hair is about 39%. So, a bit below half. Unnatural colors would seem to be less common than natural colors, then, at least in humans, but not really rare. Let’s see how that stacks up with the nonhumans!

The Nonhumans

Unnatural hair colors: Jack (I debated on him being considered natural or unnatural, since he’s a wolf-boy and white hair is technically a natural color for a wolf, but to keep things consistent, we’ll go with hair colors that are unnatural for humans, so we’ll count his white hair as unnatural), Jade (turquoise), Floyd (turquoise), Azul (white), Sebek (green), Baul (green), Snick (this one’s on the edge, but it looks more red to me, so I’m giving it to the unnaturals), Dominic (silver), Grum (magenta), Shelpie (green), Timmy (blue), Toby (purple? I think?), Chenya (purple), Cheka (red/yellow), Kifaji (blue), Gidel (kinda reddish-purple, I think?) Total: 16

Naturals: Leona (brown), Ruggie (blond), Lilia (black; according to an interview with Yana, he dyes the pink part of his hair), Malleus (black), Crowley (black), Malenoa (Malleus’ mother, black), Hop (blond), Fellow (orange) Total: 8

Wow, pretty much a complete reversal! That’s a total of 24 nonhuman characters with 16 having unnatural hair and 8 having natural hair. Literally over twice as many have unnatural hair! Even if we remove the seven dwarves, who you could argue are slightly skewing the total, we still have 9 people with unnatural hair and 6 with natural. That makes 68% of the characters here with unnatural hair! As for specific species proportions, Fae have 8/13 or 61% unnatural hair, beastmen have 5/7 or 71% unnatural hair, and merfolk have 3/3 or 100% with unnatural hair (and this makes me realize we literally haven’t met any merfolk outside the main cast. Huh. Makes sense, I guess, if they all live underwater and have to attend a boot camp to learn to live on land.)

Interesting comments: this means that nonhumans as a group outnumber the humans, though only by 6, and no single group of nonhumans outnumbers humans. Fae have the most characters shown in game as nonhumans (not even counting the faeries from the gala and camping events!) thought the seven dwarves skew this a bit. There are more recurring characters who are human, though- of the humans, 14 of the 18 characters are part of the main cast whereas only 10 of the 24 nonhuman characters are recurring. The dwarves might be skewing this again, though.

Final Totals

If we combine all characters, human and nonhuman, that makes 42 total characters. Of those 42, 24 have unnatural hair colors and 19 have natural, meaning that, overall, 57% of characters have unnatural hair. That makes a majority! Unnatural hair colors are actually more common is Twisted Wonderland, just based on the sample size we have.

Couple other fun stats: for exclusively the main cast, 10 out of the 24 (42%) characters have unnatural hair, so side characters bulk out a lot of the unnatural hair havers. Speaking of side characters, their total is 13 out of 18 (72%) characters with unnatural hair. The seven dwarves seem to be the biggest skew in terms of unnatural hair, so if we remove them from the original total, we have 18 out of 35 (51%) of characters with unnatural hair, which may be a slightly more representative sample.

Conclusion

Based exclusively on this data, we can say that having unnaturally colored hair is actually more common in Twisted Wonderland than having naturally colored hair. Humans have the lowest likelihood of having unnatural hair, and merfolk have the highest.

Of course, this is an extremely small sample size, so this data may not be generalizable to the entire population of Twisted Wonderland. The sample also has a lot of mages in it, so we also don’t know if having magic may affect your hair color or something. Regardless, this was an interesting attempt to study hair color in Twisted Wonderland.

As always, I appreciate comments. Let me know if the math is wrong or if I’ve missed any characters. Or if you would classify anyone differently! I know Vil’s positioning might be controversial… and let me know if you want to see anything else analyzed too. Thank you, and good night.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst analysis #twisted wonderland analysis #twisted wonderland writing #twst writing #twst thoughts #twst talk

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friendly-books · 6 months

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Dresden files Fool's Moon live blog

Fool’s Moon

Ugh male gaze already

You’ve never mentioned Kim Delaney in your fic so I don’t have high hopes in her survival especially when she’s looking into summoning or binding circle

Sometime apprentice? Eh? How does one become a sometime apprentice

Harry drives a Beetle but he’s so tall and a beetle is so small ha

I’m absolutely blaming you for my love of Marcone and how unreasonably happy I got at the mere mention of his name in chapter two I might have a problem

“He was one of Johnny Marcone bodyguards” pg. 18 Geez Marcone’s men can’t catch a break. First Tommy Tomm, then “Gimpy” Lawrence, and now “Spike”

Ahh!! What was that agent Benn thinking? Pulling out her gun?!? I know Harry and Murph were going to live but still. I’m horrified by this lack of gun control

Murph and Harry are fighting:(

I like Harry being a detective

Who’s Justin? Why did Harry burn him to death? I’m reserving my decision if Justin is good or bad because while Harry is a good guy Bob doesn't have a moral compass.

Who’s Elaine? What happened to her?

Alphas really that’s the name they chose?

Susan you’re back!

Harry’s talking to himself again

“What could possibly go wrong?” pg. 102 Harry sweetie you didn’t just say that. I can’t believe what I just read. Harry, you should know better than to say that. Every time someone says that things will always go wrong you’re supposed to be genre savvy.

How is Harry still alive? He went to a hideout of possible murder happy werewolves with minimal tools and or weapons and no backup?

Marcone has arrived yay! It only took 10 chapters

“Ah Mr. Dresden” pg. 114 Why did I think of Verinari when Marcone said Ah Mr. Dresden? Maybe because Verinari says Ah Vimes

I love chapter 10 it’s all Marcone and Harry

Why does a demon know Harry’s mom?

“What was left of Kim Delaney lay naked and sublime on the bloodstained floor a few feet from the circle” pg. 143 I didn’t want to be right :(

“Middle-aged, starkly handsome man” pg. 145 Bi Harry counter 3

Why does a demon know Harry’s mother?

“Good-looking detective” pg. 231 Bi Harry 4 counter

Wait did Harry call Rudolph the person who kills Murph good-looking??? What did I just read?? WHAT?!?

It’s cool that Harry fights a werewolf

I’ve now met ID Harry weird that whole bit was weird

The FBI was in on it?!?

Marcone to the rescue!

“A man in his mature prime, his hair immaculately graying at the temples, his custom-made suit displaying a body kept fit in spite of the advancing years” pg. 293 Bi Harry 5

Really Marcone, you're really trying to get Harry to sign a contract now?

“Marcone looked good in his gray suit and perfect hair and his manicured hands, but he wasn’t” pg. 295 Bi Harry 6

I find it amusing that Marcone and Parker are fighting over Harry for different reasons but fighting over him nonetheless :)

“He won’t accept my offer. He’d rather die.” pg. 297 Marcone knows Harry

“Marcone’s mouth dropped open, and it was an intense pleasure to see the surprise on his face” pg. 297 I love that Harry can get a reaction out of Marcone

Loving chapter 23 with all its Marconeness

How old are the characters? Harry calls the alphas kids, Billy calls Harry Mr. Dresden, and Harry talks about Marcone’s gray hair. I’m picturing Harry and Marcone as a mesh of @drawsdenfiles and @kaphkas fanart.

We got a title drop

Awww Susan got Harry his duster

Why is Marcone’s house so big? Why does he need a big house?

“If he truly offered you a challenge, he’s here,” Marcone said, his tone completely confident, “I’m certain of it.” pg. 365 Marcone really knows Harry huh

I like that Marcone’s never underestimated Harry

“Please remember that I want Dresden, alive if possible.” pg. 375 Wow Marcone really wants to hire Harry.

Nooo the FBI kidnapped Murph :(

What did Denton see in Harry’s soulgaze?

Marcone to the rescue again or not, honestly Marcone you should listen to Harry more often

“I guess it could be worse” pg. 394 Why would you say that Murph? Why???

“Mr. Dresden, Marcone said crossly. I’ve asked you not to call me that.” pg. 398 You should let Harry call you John, Marcone

I love Harry and Marcone’s banter

Marcone’s throwing knives bit was cool

Harry using the belt was interesting. Glad Susan calmed him down.

“Dresden! The pit!” pg. 417 Nice of Marcone to warn Harry

Harry using his necklace is cool!

No Murph trust Harry, why did you shoot him?

Yay Murph was shooting Denton

“Of course,” Marcone said, with a note of disappointment in his voice “I’d just hoped you hadn’t realized it. Nonetheless, Harry-“

“Don’t call me Harry,” I said, and hung up on him” pg. 428 I love this entire bit. How come Harry gets to call Marcone John but when Marcone calls Harry by his first name he gets upset? You should just call each other by your first names

I hope we see more of the Alphas

Oh Harry’s making connections with the ongoing mystery yay!

Final thoughts

Loved all the Marcone we got. I like that we’re getting more on the ongoing mystery. I hope we see more of the Alphas. I liked the fights and Harry’s detective work. More Bi Harry the counter is going up! We’re up to 6. As with the previous book, I'm not a big fan of the male gaze but I think that’s more to do with the length and descriptions used. Harry (or Jim) will go on for a solid paragraph describing women using words I don’t think anyone would use while with Bi Harry it’s not as long and I can see people using words like good looking or handsome. I mostly glazed over the male gaze bits. I don’t know if my predisposition to Bi Harry and a Harry/Marcone shipper is making those parts stand out or if it’s because I’m actively looking for them to add to the counter. Speaking of Marcone I don’t recall if it’s said why Marcone wants Harry to work for him. Yeah having a wizard on staff is cool he can do magic but surely Marcone knows that there’s more magic people and some are more likely to work for him than Harry. So why does he specifically want Harry to work for him? He tried to get him to work for him three times in this book and once in the previous book. There’s trying to hire someone and then there’s whatever this is. I enjoyed this book. Good book for Harry/Marcone moments. Looking forward to the next book!

#dresden files #wizardbaron #harry dresden is bi #Fool's Moon

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carrotkicks · 21 days

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Oo monsters and heroes? I'm not much of an action guy but I do love a power system. Do you have one going? Like how the powers work/manifest/came into being?

honestly as of right now there's not TOO MUCH connection between the power sets except for the main monster type(Varmints), Gray's fire power, and the weird cataclysm that sunk half of Vegas underground. All of it has to do with this sort of volcanic event

<(￣︶￣)>

Gray has fire powers. It's not meant to be particularly obvious though: Alongside his immunity to flames and smoke, he can can control the size and general direction of a fire.

Angel on the other hand has no obvious powers that can help her in a fight :3 I've been playing around a bit with some ideas though more later but atm she can affect the state of the environment near her in a way. Angel mostly deals in weapons though! one in particular, an old fashioned winchester style rifle

Gray relies more on a revolver like a Colt or something. and like. his fists and stuff.

Ok some enemies:

Varmints - The town is terrorized by these skeletal flaming monsters. The locals call them "Varmints". what they ACTUALLY are, are the corpses and skeletal remains of animals that died in the area(which include ANY animal). Water draws them away but only destroying the remains completely can get rid of it completely. These are the threats Angel and Gray deal with most often.

There are various supernatural PEOPLE - I have one specific arc in my head involving a witch who turned people into puppets through the costumes she tailored for them. There's an abandoned bride who can make people fall in love with her but what's really under her veil? There's an innkeeper who traps people inside his maze-like motel that's in some kind of time bubble.

Villains - There's an establishment called Knock-Out Bowling which is secretly a fight club(!) run by demons. idk if i'm keeping this in or not. Angel's dad is a casino owner and lowkey a crime boss. The Technicians, are a trio of hunters out for Gray, dead or alive. They might be cyborgs idk idk.

Other misc powers - > Angel DOES has a couple of friends her age, there's one boy who has the ability to communicate with the dead.

#ask #ocs #pyromania

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darknesseddiem · 8 months

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Hellfire: The Menu

Summary: The new restaurant in town catches everyone's attention with his peculiar decor and food, when Nancy and Robin invite you to a girls' night out at Hellfire, you think it's a great opportunity to relax from all the pressure of being a recent graduated from highschool. What was supposed to be a fun night out with friends turns into a dangerous game of seduction and power between you and Hellfire's mysterious chef.

This is a part of "Kinktober" Fanfics in collab with @bvtbxtch

Pairing: Older! Chef! Eddie Munson x Young! Fem! Reader

Warnings: +18 content MDNI, SMUT, EXTREME DARK CONTENT, ALLUSION TO FORCED SEXUAL ACTIVITY, alcohol consumption, age gap (20 and 39), dub-con, name calling, unprotected sex, oral sex (f and m), choking, cum, dacryphilia, Dark!Eddie. Let me know if I'm missing something.

A/N: Thanks to my babies @emsgoodthinkin and @bvtbxtch to beta-read these for me.

Word count: 8,4k

Taglist: @emilyslutface @ali-r3n @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @bvtbxtch. If you want to be tagged, my TAGLIST is open.

Woman I want to ask you

Why you do that anyway

You know I thought things were fine

Just yesterday – Lonely bed.

It was your first time visiting the new restaurant in town, your friend Nancy had insisted you go with her and Robin on a girls' night out at the new Hawkins hotspot, Hellfire.

Two Michelin stars and a mysterious chef who called himself “The Banished”.

Despite the name being pretty suggestive, nothing prepared you for the real thing. The entrance was discreet and simple, large black walls gleamed in the light from the streetlamps, four security guards guarded both sides of the large glass doors that hid the interior of the restaurant. You, Robin and Nancy walked up to the two big men, holding your reservation cards, you'd remember to thank Steve for making the reservations a week ago.

The two giants in suits nodded after checking the cards and opened the doors for the three of you to enter.

An extensive hall with photographs and strange paintings in the dark black walls was in front of you, as you walked you were carefully observing the paintings and their captions.

The end of the world by E. M.

It was a painting of a blond angel with five pairs of wings spread across his body, his golden hair fell gracefully around his shoulders, a translucent red halo was above the two pairs of small wings on the angel's head. He had a desolate and sad expression, surely it had something to do with the half gray body he carried in his arms.

It was a beautiful man, or at least what was left of him. His body was split at the waist with its sinews and entrails hanging, his head resting gracefully on the angel's left hand while one of his muscular pale gray arms rested on the other man's thigh, his black hair falling over his closed eyes and over his serene face.

It was a beautiful painting with a touch of sadness and melancholy.

“Man, that's weird as fuck... This place looks more like a museum than a restaurant” Robin said, looking strangely at the paintings.

“It's a little strange, but it certainly has to do with the concept of the restaurant.” Nancy defended.. “I can't help but think it's incredible, a complete immersion in the concept they want to convey.” Her eyes sparkled as they wandered around the entire place

“Do you think they serve human meat here?” Robin asked, giving a side look to the place.

“Yes, Robin, and they sacrifice virgins on the full moon too.” You said to her, rolling your eyes.

“I was just asking, everything in this seems too weird.” Robin replied, shrugging her shoulders.

You and the both girls continued walking down the black hall, music could be heard closer to the main hall, a slow melody with a gothic touch that seemed to hypnotize them to enter that mysterious restaurant.

Upon arriving at the entrance, you are faced with a huge room all red, seats in a circle and a round table of black marble adorned with candles in a crystal candlestick.

The seats were red velvet and matched the gothic aesthetic of the place, the walls had large obsidian pillars with fallen angels in the middle holding them up.

You looked at the girls and they were as stunned as you were, Robin was staring at the place so intently you were afraid she was going to punch a hole in the walls just by looking at it, and Nancy was watching everything with her typical critical eye.

While the three of you were standing there admiring the place, a boy with blonde hair and wearing a black and red uniform stopped in front of you and your friends.

"Hello, my name is Gareth and I will be your waiter today." He said with a polite smile. "Would you follow me, please?"

“Sure.” Nancy answered for you and Robin, seeing as you were still admiring everything.

Gareth turned his back and started to walk in front, he stopped beside a table that had a large transparent glass wall behind it and pointed with both hands.

"This is our best table, here you will have the full view of the restaurant and an immersive experience in our own cuisine, as well as the view of the preparation of the dishes right behind you." He said and pointed to the glass wall.

You sat down while he explained a few more things.

"May I start your experience by bringing a wine for you ladies to taste?"

“Yes, please!” Robin said excitedly, barely giving you and Nancy time to think.

"Okay, I'll be back in a minute, ladies."

"Oh my god, did you see that?" Nancy asked in a rushed whisper.

"What? That this place looks like it came out of a weird book? Or that we look like those rich people in the movies?" Robin spilled her sarcasm.

"Robin!" You shouted at her.

"Anyway, this is definitely my new favorite place." Nancy smiled at the two of you.

When you opened your mouth to respond, Gareth, your waiter, arrived with wine in hand.

"Sorry to interrupt the conversation, ladies." He said and lowered his head in apology. "May I serve you?"

You agreed and he started pouring the wine into the glasses.

"This wine is called 'Pedro Ximénez', is obtained from the overly ripe grapes of the same name which are dried in the sun to obtain a must with an exceptionally high concentration of sugar. Its aging process, which is exclusively oxidative, gives the wine a progressive aromatic concentration and greater complexity, whilst fully preserving the characteristic freshness of the variety. Also, it’s probably the sweetest wine in the world.” Gareth explained to you.

“Is it good?” Robin asked, arching her eyebrow to the poor waiter.

“You should drink and see for yourself, madam.” He said smiling and gesturing to her wine glass.

Robin squinted her eyes and took the glass carefully in her hand, she gave a look and shrugged her shoulders, giving a sip in the wine.

“It tastes like…”

“Chocolate?” Gareth replied.

“Yeah I…Think.”

You gave a sip too and to your surprise, it tasted like chocolate. It was sweet but with a hint of coffee, your taste buds screamed in thanks.

“If the ladies are prepared, can I bring the first dish?” He asked politely.

“Yes, it would be great.” Nancy replied while you and Robin fell in love with the wine.

Robin and Nancy engaged in a conversation while you watched everything carefully.

Your eyes fixed on the large glass wall that allowed a complete view of what was happening in the kitchen, you quickly looked and realized that the other people in the restaurant were too distracted in their conversations to pay attention to that part of the place.

You could see a dozen employees walking back and forth in their red uniforms, some carrying pans or plates in their hands, while others were bending over the marble table to decorate the dishes that were going to be served.

The dynamics were reminiscent of an anthill and its workers, all working together in perfect harmony, ensuring the restaurant's operation.

Your eyes were so focused on the cooks' movements that you barely noticed when a different figure entered the kitchen.

A man in a black uniform with details that resembled flames embroidered on his back, his hair was tied in a low bun and his hands were crossed behind his back. As you pondered who this man could be, you saw Gareth respectfully approach the man and say something so only he could hear and gestured discreetly to the table where you and your friends were.

The mysterious man turned to observe what the blonde pointed out, making immediate eye contact with you.

He was beautiful, his hair with a touch of salt and pepper gave away that he was probably in his 30s, the deep eyes that hid a wildness behind them were what made you break away from his intense gaze.

When you turned to look again he had already turned away, only Gareth was looking at his table with a smirk as if he knew something.

“Are you guys starving too or is it just me?” You were brought out of your trance by Robin's voice.

"Me too, he should have been back with our dishes by now." Nancy looked at her watch and frowned.

“The dish may take some time to prepare, remember that we are in a first class restaurant and not Dennis's diner." You said with a shrug and took a sip of wine.

"I think I prefer the diner, this place is all weird and full of rich people." Robin said with a huff.

"Don't look so sad Robin, guess who's coming with our dishes now?" Nancy asked, nudging her with her elbow.

On his left side, Gareth came with a metal cart and three trays covered by a circular lid, along with an ice bucket that held another wine inside. He stopped in front of the table and placed the plates in front of the three of you, and then began pouring the new wine into the glasses.

"For starters, we prepared tilapia filets with pineapple teriyaki sauce, served with a strawberry salad that includes: strawberries, mushrooms, roasted almonds, chives and lettuce. And of course, accompanied by a wonderful Muscadet Sevre Et Maine Sur Lie from the harvest of 2021."

Gareth presented the dishes and left the three of you in awe.

"I don't know what to feel about this dish." Robin and her taste buds.

"Oh come on, let's give it a try, it looks delicious." You said making them both turn to you with their eyebrows raised.

With many complaints, the girls started eating and ended up liking the exotic fish.

But you couldn't stop feeling a pair of eyes watching you, and taking the courage to look to the side, there he was. The same man from earlier, piercing your orbs with his intense gaze.

This time he had a glass of wine in his hands, and when he realized he was looking, he raised it as if making a toast.

Even though you were embarrassed, you discreetly raised your glass and took a sip, looking into his eyes.

He smiled and licked his lips, shaking his head and walking until he was out of sight.

Your shoulders slumped and the small smile on your face faded.

Congratulations, you managed to scare him away.

You were quiet most of the time while the girls finished the starters, Gareth quickly collected the plates and cutlery before bringing out the main course.

"Ladies, should I bring the main course or would you like to wait?"

"Could you bring it now, please?" Your blonde friend asked impatiently.

"Alright ladies, I'll be back in a moment."

You got up and said you were going to the bathroom, the girls didn't question it and said they would wait for you in the same place.

Before reaching the bathroom, you passed through a red painted hallway where there were photos of everyone who worked there. You recognized some from the kitchen and your waiter, Gareth, but there was no sign of the mysterious guy, you were starting to wonder if he really existed or if hunger was making you see things.

At the end of the corridor there was a board with no photos, just an inscription underneath.

"The Banished: The chief cook, never seen and never mentioned."

You felt a shiver run down your spine and hurried to get to the bathroom.

The bathroom was entirely black with gold details, the sinks were made of gray marble and had motion sensors on the taps, a gigantic mirror that went up to the ceiling was on the wall opposite the entrance door and another decorated the washbasin area.

With a sigh, you rested your hands on the marble of the sink and analyzed your appearance.

You were hot as fuck, the white silk dress you wore accentuated your curves in all the right places, the top was like a tight bodice with thick sleeves that rested loosely at the elbow and outlined your waist, and the bottom was flowy and it went up to the middle of your thigh. Your makeup was light, nothing that attracted much attention but that highlighted your beauty, your reddish lips juicy with watermelon gloss, and even so you didn't understand why he had run away from you.

Why were you so intrigued by this? Maybe he was intimidated by how hot you are.

Convincing yourself that you didn't care what had happened, you fixed your hair and smiled in front of the mirror before heading back to your.

From afar you could see that Gareth was also heading to your table, a mischievous smile appeared on your face as you thought of a plan to gain the mysterious man's attention.

"Sorry for the delay, I got lost on the way." You said smiling sympathetically.

"May I serve you, ladies?" Gareth stared at you.

“Sure, why not?" You lifted the glass of wine to your lips and grinned at him who stared at you open-mouthed and swallowed hard.

“T-the main dish is smoked lamb meat with herbs and gorgonzola cheese sauce, risotto with yacon potatoes, accompanied by San Cristoforo Petit Verdot Toscana vintage 2019.” He barely finished speaking and hurriedly left.

"I have no idea what it tastes like but I already think it's delicious." Robin said, making you and Nancy laugh.

You started eating and talking about banal things, at that moment you were just 3 girls having fun, but that fun soon dissipated when you glanced at the glass wall and found the entire team looking at your table while the man in black walked around and shouted some commands.

Your gaze turned to your plate and you started to pick at your food nervously, you were so distracted that you barely noticed the waiter stop next to you and say something.

"I'm sorry miss, but I believe I made a mistake." He looked at you intensely and pointed to your plate. "I believe I made a mistake when bringing the dishes, but don't worry, your food and drinks will be here in a minute."

The waiter took your plate and cutlery from the table, along with your glass of wine and headed towards the kitchen.

You looked at the girls, who shrugged and went back to talking and eating as if nothing had happened.

A little angry you turned your attention to the kitchen, the entire team was working feverishly, including him. That damn hot man.

You can see the moment Gareth came into the kitchen with his plate and the man gestured for him to throw it in the trash.

As you watched, your mind went back to that hallway full of photos you passed, specifically to the empty frame that was supposed to carry the photo of Hellfire's head chef.

Wait a minute…

You analyzed the employees of the place once again, the waiters and waitresses wore red uniforms with black details, the cooks wore red, but only that man wore black from head to toe.

That's it, he's the "mysterious boss".

But if he's so mysterious, why appear here where anyone can see him?

Your train of thought was interrupted by the Chef's abrupt movement, he clapped his hands together and shouted a command to your waiter, who came and picked up what appeared to be a different dish than the ones being prepared that night.

The brunette said something discreetly to Gareth, who nodded and hurried to leave.

Your eyes soon met Chef's intense gaze, who seemed to want to eat you with how deeply he looked at you.

Eye contact was broken when you heard the soft sound of ice colliding with metal, you looked to the side and saw the blonde boy taking another bottle of wine out of an ice bucket with the restaurant's insignia and placing it on the metal cart.

"Here's your dish, miss." A covered tray was placed in front of you. “"The dish contains wagyu filet seasoned with a sauce made from butter, pepperoni, garlic and coriander, accompanied by a potato risotto with brie cheese and shrimp, and a delicious Pinot Noir, a seductive and smooth wine in just the right amount. "

He was getting ready to leave when you stopped him.

"Uh, excuse me, can I ask you something?" Your voice was low so as not to attract the girls' attention.

“Sure, miss.”

"Who's that? He's that "The Banished", isn't he?" You pointed at the man in black.

He looked at you and left without saying a word, leaving you intrigued and furious.

You started to eat and got distracted by Nancy and Robin's conversation about one of Nance's journalism projects, when Gareth soon returned to your side and discreetly whispered so that only you could hear.

"My boss authorized me to reveal his name, but on one condition." You looked at him expectantly. "He wants you to come to his office when the restaurant closes."

Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets at how wide they went in surprise. "And his name is Eddie, Eddie Munson." You didn't even have time to respond with how quickly he left.

You continued sitting in the same position, your brain trying to process what had just happened. The sound of your fingers snapping brought you back to earth, Robin looked at you worriedly as she snapped her fingers in front of your eyes to wake you up from your trance.

"Are you okay? We've been calling you for a while and you haven't answered." Nancy's eyes were full of concern.

"Yeah, you looked like a zombie with your eyes wide open like that." Robin imitated how you were.

"I just...zoned out a little." You gave a reassuring smile. "What do you think if we order dessert now?"

“That's exactly what we were going to tell you, we just asked you to bring the desserts but you… Zoned out.” Nancy said, gesturing to you.

You nodded as the girls went back to chatting about what would be served now, and once again you peeked through the glass wall in hopes of seeing Eddie once again.

This time, you took the time to appreciate it properly. His uniform consisted of black tailored trousers, a black tunica and an apron tied around his slim waist.

He seemed focused on something, his sharp features and deep eyes working in conjunction with his skillful and talented hands.

His eyes moved and met yours, which roamed shamelessly over his tall, muscular body. You were caught red-handed and he smiled when he noticed, you felt your cheeks heat up and looked away at your hands in your lap.

You wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

"Good evening, ladies." A voice other than Gareth's spoke and you quickly looked in the direction of that deep, husky voice.

In front of your table was he with the desserts, the object of your current desires and the reason for your sinful thoughts.

He ran his eyes over your figure and licked his lips before turning his attention to the other two girls. He talked a little about dessert with the girls and then turned to you.

"And here's yours, miss." He placed the tray in front of you. “It is a sweet made from pineapple and chocolate, and a topping made from honey, pepper and cherries. A bit exotic, but the acidity of the pineapple and the heat of the pepper are like magic on your taste buds.” His intense gaze never left your face for a second.

“I hope you like it, miss.” And with that he left, leaving you stunned.

You smiled at the girls who were eating excitedly and talking about what they had been served.

Time passed and you decided to ask for the bill, discovering that Steve had even taken care of paying for your visit.

"It was good, but now I just want to crash in my bed and get a good night's sleep." Robin hurried out of the room.

Nancy, seeing that you were hesitant to leave the place, came to your side with a smile.

"Robin may not have noticed, but I did, be careful and use protection, young lady." Nancy said like a mother.

"Okay, mom." You rolled your eyes and smiled.

The two of you said goodbye and you sat back down where you were, on the other side of the glass, Eddie was smiling at you.

Hours passed until closing time arrived, you forced a shy smile at the employees passing by to leave, they would certainly talk about you tomorrow.

You thought you were alone, until you were startled when you heard Eddie's voice calling you to go to his office.

"So miss, could I by any chance have the pleasure of knowing your name?" You said your name and he nodded.

"Would you like to accompany me to the wine cellar?" He asked with his arms crossed, and even with his tunic it was possible to see his muscles.

"I don't know, would I like it?" You replied with a sharp smile making him narrow his eyes.

“You better like it.” His deep voice sends shivers down your spine.

He led the way and showed you the way to the cellar, opening the door and gesturing for you to go in first.

Upon entering you came across a flight of stairs that led down to the basement, where the wines were kept, slowly you went down the steps and noticed the rustic decoration that that part of the place had.

It was as if you were inside a giant tree, the wooden decorations brought a different charm to the room.

You stopped in the middle of the place and appreciated the decoration, everything looked interesting. You could see Eddie take a bottle of wine from the wine rack and grab two glasses, pouring some into both.

He brought you one of the glasses and kept the other, you drank the wine and looked at each other in silence until you spoke.

"So, why all this mystery?” He seemed confused by your question. “This thing about not showing your face but staying in the kitchen, where obviously everyone can see you.”

“Oh." He laughed. "I thought it would be interesting for people to eat without knowing anything about who made it.”

"Honestly? I don't think people care." You shrugged. "It sounds to me like you're insecure about your job. Yeah, that sounds more convincing."

His eyes darkened and he pushed his tongue against his cheek, smiling at what you said.

"Insecure?" He asked and you nodded. "Okay, if you think that, who am I to argue? I'm just the guy who has two Michelin stars, a chain of restaurants around the world and my own unique cuisine. Yeah, I must be really insecure about my job."

You looked at him embarrassed and speechless, while he smiled satisfied.

"You should watch your words, angel." He said placing the glass of wine next to the wooden table you were leaning against.

"And why would I do that?" You asked petulantly.

"Why? Because that brat mouth of yours will only get you in trouble." He said and bent down so your eyes were on the same level as his.

You hardened your gaze and turned up your nose, crossing your arms.

Eddie let out a low laugh and shook his head.

He walked away from where you were and walked towards the glass cabinet in the opposite direction.

"You know, I've dealt with many just like you" He said, opening the cabinet door and taking out a cigarette pack. "Girls who think they know everything, that everyone in this hell we call earth is futile and who would rather be tough than let themselves be shown to have any weakness. But let me tell you something, you are not special.”

"You don’t know anything about me." You said raising your voice. "Do you think you're better than everyone else just because you have all this? Let me tell you something, you're not better than anyone else." You were furious, who does this guy think he is?

"But I am." He said putting the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it. "And watch your tone, young lady."

"Do not tell me what to do!" You shouted furiously at him. "You’re not my dad."

He put his hand in his pocket as he inhaled the smoke and blew it towards the ceiling, his brown eyes looked at you with intensity, neither of you said anything.

"You're right, I'm not your dad." He plucked his cigarette in the ashtray. "But I still can punish you."

You froze, his words echoing in your head and going straight to your core.

You looked at him stunned, your mouth opened and closed several times like a fish, but you couldn't say anything in response.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" He said and walked over. "Are you going to tell me that no one ever put you in your place?"

“W-what? My…My place? What the fuck you’re saying?” You glared at him.

"You are very full of yourself, sir." You walked over to the bottle rack.

"Oh? Are we calling each other names already?" He grinned.

"Jesus, you're insufferable, after all, why did you ask me to stay?" You turned to look at him.

"Do you want the truth? You nodded. "Okay, I thought you were pretty and wanted to get to know you better. But now I see that you are a rude brat who thinks you are different from other women.”

You weren't going to stay there listening to that guy talk to you like that, you turned and went towards the stairs but stopped on the second step when you heard his voice.

"Did I let you leave?" The serious and deep voice made you stop immediately. "Turn around, now." You shivered but didn't obey.

"I won't say it again. Turn around, now." He said gritting his teeth.

You turned your head just enough to look at him. "Make me."

"You don't know what you're asking for, young lady." Eddie said smiling.

"You don't know what I want or don't want, old man." You said, looking at him from the stairs.

He stopped smiling and stood erect, his features hardened and his gaze darkened like an animal when it saw its prey.

You swallowed hard and looked at him.

"What did you call me?" He was serious, not a trace of playfulness on his face.

"I...It was just-" You were interrupted by his loud voice.

"I asked. What. Did. You. Called. Me?" He said slowly.

"Old man." You replied almost in a whisper.

He continues looking at you until he takes a deep breath and takes his hand out of his pocket.

"Come here." He pointed to the floor in front of him.

Slowly you turned and went down the remaining step, walking slowly until you stopped in front of the long-haired man.

"I'm going to ask you some questions, and you better answer them." you nodded.

"How old are you?" “20”

"You have a boyfriend?" “No”

"Do you have any masters?" “Uh no?”

"Do you consent to everything that happens here?" “...Yes.”

"We're going to establish some..." He was interrupted by your confused voice.

"Wait, am I the only one going to answer questions here?" You crossed your arms and frowned.

He looked at you seriously as you waited for an answer.

"If you interrupt me one more time, I will gag you." He took a deep breath and your eyes widened. "I'm 39 years old, I'm not dating and I'm not married, I consent to everything that happens here and I don't have a master, I'm him.

You opened your mouth to ask more questions but stopped when you saw the look he gave you.

"Continuing, let's establish three rules: only speak on my command, respond "Yes, sir" or "No, sir" only, and lastly, use your safe word if necessary.” He said with his hands behind him analyzing you.

“Do you know the transit system?” You nodded. "I want you to use it with me. Green to continue, yellow to slow down and red to stop.” He looked at you as if waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, do you want me to-” A slap was delivered to the right side of your face.

"Did I say you could talk? Did you even listen to my orders?” He spoke low and hoarse.

“I was jus-” Another slap on your face, this time on your left side.

"I'm going to beat you until you learn to respect me." He spoke darkly. “What’s your color, slut?”

"Green." You looked at him with a red cheek.

He grinned and ran his knuckles across your cheeks.

"Now," He walked away and went to the counter near the wine rack and picked up something that looked like a strip of fabric."I'm going to wash your dirty mouth with my cum.”

His raw words went straight to your core, making your panties wet.

Eddie turned around and you could see what he had in his hands, a red sash that he probably grabbed from one of the wine boxes.

You wet your lips and looked wide-eyed at the red cloth and then at his face, as if asking what he intended with that.

"Oh, this? You didn't think I'd let those dirty hands touch me, did you?" He said, smirking. “Oh no, baby, you have to earn the right to touch me, to feel me, and for now you just showed me what a bitch you are.

His words penetrated your mind and slowly traveled through the hottest part of your body until they reached your pussy.

He could see the effect his words had on you, and his plan was to ruin you, to use and abuse you in ways that would make you come crawling back to him.

"Now, be a good girl and put your arms behind your back and cross your hands.”

You remained standing in the same place, without moving a muscle.

“Very petulant, aren’t we?” He walked over and slowly surrounded you as if you were his prey, his eyes kept focused on your face to watch your reactions.

He stopped behind you, lightly running his hand over your uncovered shoulders, his palms and fingers had a rough texture causing goosebumps as it ran down from your shoulder to your wrist.

Abruptly he took your hand and brought it to your back, repeating the same with the other.

You tried to fight against his strong, big hands holding you down, but you couldn't deny that you were enjoying what was happening too much.

"If you think that fighting will make me lose interest, you are very mistaken, it is only making me want to ruin you even more." Was whispered hoarsely in your ear.

You let out an audible gasp at the feeling of his lips on the sensitive spot on your neck.

This man...He wasn't like the others, he had unusual control over your body, almost as if you were trapped in hypnosis.

He finished tying your hands and walked back to where he was. In front of you.

"Color?" He asked.

"Green." He hummed and nodded.

"Kneel, now." He put his hands in his pockets.

You looked at him with narrowed eyes and turned your face to the side.

You waited for another slap or curse that never came, instead, he took you by the arm and led you to where he wanted, forcing you to your knees.

Your knees collided heavily with the ground, making you let out a hiss of pain. You looked up and saw Eddie staring at you while smirking.

"You look beautiful on your knees, the perfect place for you, worshiping your master and putting that filthy mouth to good use.” He said admiring you. “I'm dying to see you choke on my cock.”

You rubbed your thighs together to relieve some of the ache on your core and the hot feeling in your lower belly. You bit your bottom lip and looked at him with deer eyes, his large, imposing figure brought out a feeling of wildness in you.

"Oh, do you like that? I bet you'd do everything I said if I untied you right now and let you blow me.” The humiliation he caused was cruel, but so good.

You shook your head when he finished speaking.

“No? Okay, let's do it differently now.” He opened the button of his pants and the zipper. “Beg me to let you suck me off.”

You shook your head again.

He let out a dark chuckle.

“You really want to do this the hard way, don't you?” He slid his hand through your hair and held tight to the base of your neck, making your scalp burn and your head jerk up at an uncomfortable angle. “We can do it the hard way, but I can't promise that I won't do what I want with you, use you as my sex toy and you won't be able to do anything against it.”

You barely had time to process his words, when you felt the other hand that wasn't in your hair grab your cheeks and squeeze them tightly, making your mouth turn into a pout. His grip was strong and it was starting to hurt, with his index finger he forced entry into your lips pushing your jaw down so that you opened your mouth.

He released your cheeks and used his middle finger along with his index finger, he pushed your jaw until your mouth was wide open for him.

“Stick out your tongue.” You obeyed for the second time that night.

His face slowly lowered and he spat on your outstretched tongue.

“Swallow.” You made a disgusted face and denied. "I'm not asking, I'm ordering."

You retracted your tongue and swallowed the hot, sticky saliva.

"I could say you're a good girl, but you still need discipline." He let go of your hair and removed the hair tie that tied his hair, the cascade of salt-and-pepper-flecked brown strands falling down his covered shoulders.

You watched his movements cautiously, trying to guess what the next step he would take would be.

"I still haven't forgotten the words that came out of your mouth, and I'm still going to make sure you can't speak for the next few days." He spoke and unbuttoned the buttons on the black tunic he wore. “You have no idea what I'm going to do to you.”

He smiled darkly and threw the tunic in some corner of the cellar, and finally you could see what he was hiding under those clothes.

An expanse of alabaster skin covered in black traces of countless tattoos, you could make out a Chinese dragon that started on his bicep and ran down his chest until it ended at his thin waist, a goat skull with long horns and a coiled snake was drawn on the In the middle of his chest, inscriptions in illegible handwriting were tattooed on both sides of his hips and down his groin.

The rest of his tattoos looked like drawings of otherworldly things, demons, plagues and grotesque things.

As he looked down at you, you ran your eyes over every bit of skin you could.

You caught the movement of his hands going down to his pants and hooking his fingers into the waistband of his underwear.

He pulled down his underwear along with his pants in one quick movement, making your eyes widen and you swallow dry.

His half-hard dick bobbed up and down, slapping above his belly button. It was big, at least 9 inches and it was so thick that you weren't sure it would fit in your mouth, let alone your pussy. His cock was long and slightly curved to the right with a protruded vein on the underside of it, the tip was flushed red and leaking a little bit of precum, his balls were hanging heavy and full of cum, asking to be sucked.

You were on the same level as his cock, watching as one of his large, ringed hands stroked his member in front of you.

“Open.” He commanded.

You did so without question, sticking out your tongue.

He tapped the head of his dick a few times against your tongue to get it wet.

He let you run your tongue from base to the tip, wetting the shaft and sucking softly the head.

"Mmm...I knew that mouth was good for something." His hand gripped your hair again.

He didn't warn you as he shoved his entire dick into your mouth in one quick movement, making you choke and tears well up in your eyes as spit ran out of your mouth.

You tried to move your head back but he held it before you could move, you couldn't breathe properly and his cock wasn't even halfway in your mouth.

"I didn't say you could stop, keep going." He said looking down and breathing heavily at the feeling of your hot mouth.

You tried to mumble but he just pushed further, making you gag and a trail of spit come out of your mouth and down your chin. Your vision began to darken from the lack of oxygen and your eyes began to feel heavy.

You felt him pull out his cock and gasped for air, your lungs burned intensely as you coughed trying to normalize your breathing.

"Already? I thought you were better than that." He mocked.

You looked at him through your lashes with an angry expression.

He lifted your head again and held his cock with his other hand, tapping it against your lips.

"Come on, open your filthy mouth, I'm not done with you yet." Once again he forced the cock until it touched the back of your throat, choking you and gagging you even more. Your eyes were blurry with tears, your jaw burned from the stretch as his cock abused your mouth and throat nonstop.

“Fuck…So wet and hot f’me, yeah?” He asked breathless.

He was fucking your mouth with such a force that you were sure it would leave a bruise and a sore throat after this.

Every thrust sends his dick more down your throat.

Suddenly he pushes your head towards his crotch and puts his entire dick in your mouth, making you roll your eyes with so many sensations.

His moans reached your ears, making a puddle form in the fabric of your panties and run down your thighs.

"Stay like that, don't move...Fuck." He threw his head back, staring at the ceiling. "I'm going to fucking destroy your pretty little mouth." He said pulling out a little and looking at you again.

He fucked your mouth harder again, the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat painfully making your spit run down the corners of your mouth.

His heavy cock bulged in your throat, cutting off your breathing and abusing your mouth even more.

"Fuck...I’m gonna clean your mouth with my cum, make you swallow it all like a good slut." His thrusts became erratic and you knew he was close.

Your head started to feel heavy again as you couldn't breathe properly and your vision became dark.

“Shit! Breathe through your nose.” He laughed pleasantly when he saw you struggling.

You did as he told you, and when you felt ropes of hot cum spurt into your mouth he plugged your nose and pushed his pelvis into your face, making you cough with a mouth full of cock, as spit and cum ran down your chin and neck and into the neckline of your dress.

He removed himself from your mouth and let you breathe, holding your hair so you wouldn't pass out and fall to the floor from lack of air.

"Now, swallow it all." He bent down and held one of your cheeks to look at you, he smiled when he saw your makeup all smeared on your face and your eyes full of tears.

You were so angry with him that you didn't even think straight before spitting all the white liquid onto the floor and looking at him angrily.

You saw his eyes darken and his hand grab your neck and squeeze, lifting you from where you were kneeling. He dragged you to the rustic wooden table and pressed you tightly against it, hurting your lower back.

"You think you're tough, right? Let's see if you really are." He growled and put both hands on your waist placing you laid on the table.

"W-what are you doing?" Your throat is raw from the abuse.

"Showing what I do when people disrespect me." The sound of tearing fabric echoed in the room and you felt the cold wind on your hot skin.

"You ripped my dress? What the fuck?" You tried to scream but your voice came out hoarse and cracked.

"If I were you I'd worry about other things, like starting to apologize to me." You didn't know if you were crazy, but you were sure you saw his eyes quickly change to a blackish hue.

You were about to retort but the feeling of his fingers twisting your hard nipples made you let out a yelp.

"Do you think you can talk to me however you want?" Your eyes filled with tears. "I am your master and you owe me respect."

You nodded wanting to get rid of the pain in your nipples.

"Now you've decided to respect me? What a shame, you missed your chance to show that you're a good girl." He released your nipples and ran his calloused hands over your chest.

You were relieved to see that he had released your nipples.

But it didn't last long as he lowered his head and took one of them into his warm mouth, sucking hard making you whimper.

"It hurts..." You said trying to free your still trapped hands.

"Oh, really?" He asked and bit down hard.

You screamed in pain and hot tears slid down to your hairline while you closed your eyes.

Eddie stood up as he looked darkly at your lying body covered only by your soaked panties and the remains of your dress.

"Do you think you can take me?" Your eyes opened quickly when you heard the question.

"N-no, please..." You said shakily.

"Are you scared of me?" You nodded. "Oh, don't be scared, I just want to feel you."

"It's going to hurt, I don't want it." You said watching him start to take off your panties.

"You'll like it, I promise." He said calmly manipulating you.

He removed your panties and you closed your legs, his hands held your knees forcing them open for him.

“Stop…” You turned your face away.

"Oh, do you want me to stop?" His calloused hands reached down and caressed the fat of your inner thighs.

The calluses on his hands were rough against your skin and gave you goosebumps. You tried to concentrate on what you were going to say but it didn't work out very well.

"I...Stop..." You tried to protest but his hands felt too good on your thighs

“Whad’ya say?” He mocked and used his thumbs to spread your pussy lips, exposing your wet entrance to him.

He didn't give you time to respond as his finger passed lightly over your clit making you jump a little and went down to your entrance, collecting your wetness.

He brought his finger up to his nose and sniffed, rolling his eyes at your scent.

He quickly got down on his knees and used both hands to spread you wider.

"I want to taste you before I make you scream on my cock." His tongue licked a fat stripe from your entrance to your clit.

You let out a moan as you felt his sinful tongue run through your folds and explore your pussy.

Eddie closed his eyes and revealed in the taste of you, his tongue prodded your entrance and penetrated your tight channel.

Despite the warm, pleasurable sensation, something was wrong. That didn't look like a human's tongue.

"W-what?" You whimpered as you felt his wet muscle rub against that spot inside you.

"E-Eddie..." You called his name and he snapped his eyes open.

You gasped when you noticed his completely black eyes.

The corners of his mouth turned up when he noticed that you had gotten it all figured out. Eddie wasn't human.

He stopped stroking inside you with his tongue and stood up.

"What the fuck is go-?" You couldn't finish your sentence because he pulled you to the edge of the table by your legs.

"What's happening, my dear, is that you're about to get fucked by the Devil himself." His right hand held his hard cock and slid it between your pussy lips.

You couldn't form a coherent thought with the way he slid his dick through your pussy and the tip nudged your clit.

You were a moaning mess beneath that man – Devil, but you didn't regret it.

“Say that you adore me.” He tapped the head of his cock on your clit and slid it to your entrance. “"Beg me to take you, ruin you."

“P-please…I’ll do…I’ll do anything.” You didn't care about looking desperate.

“Anything?” He asked and pushed his whole cock in your cunt, bottoming out.

“Yes, yes…” The stretch was too much for you but it was so good to have him fully inside you. “Oh, god.” You felt a slap on your face.

“Not God, just me.” He started to thrust slowly, giving time for you to adjust at his size. “Fuck, such a tight pussy, gonna fill this hole with my cum.

You shook your head at him, you forgot you weren’t on birth control.

“N-not inside…” Your eyes were rolling to the back of your head, his cock caressed every part of you.

He gripped your neck and growled.

“This pussy is mine now, so don’t tell me what I can do with her.” He started to pound violently into you, shaking your whole body with the force.

“Oh fuck, shitshitshit…” The head of his cock was hitting your cervix, making your mouth hang open and you let out strangled cries.

Eddie ducked his head down and let a globe of spit fall from his mouth to your cunt, using to rub your clit with his thumb while he fucked you with vigor.

You clenched down on him and he let out a guttural moan.

“There’s no way in hell that I’m letting you go after this.” His voice was different now, it was like a million of Eddie’s were talking at the same time.

His grip on your neck tightened and he made you look at him, staring at his black orbs and seeing your reflex in them, you felt something changing in him but couldn't say what it was.

He was staring so deep in your eyes that you were sure he could see your soul, his thrust became inhumanly fast and hard, almost knocking you off the table.

The sides of his mouth turned upwards and fangs could be seen as he smiled strangely at you, you were so lost in pleasure that you let your head fall backwards and rolled your eyes.

And for the first time that night he kissed you.

The kiss was intense and full of lust, his tongue caressed yours and explored your mouth that was wide open, you felt his fangs rasping your bottom lip and he bit hard at it, making you whimper from pain and pleasure.

Little do you know that he was planning to take your soul to him.

He let go of your lip and stared down intensely at you.

“Say it.” You felt your orgasm approaching as he rubbed your clit frantically and your cunt tightened even more around him, almost like a vice. “Say my name.” He growled with that voice.

“Eddie, please…” You didn’t know what you were asking for. “Please take me.” No, that wasn’t what you were going to say. Why couldn't you think or talk?

“Your wish is my pleasure…” And again that voice. “I own you, your body and soul, your heart and mind, and…And you fucking owe me too.” He said and you felt his cock twitching inside you.

You felt the coil in your lower belly tightened and your open legs started to tremble with the force of your orgasm.

“C-close…” That's all you managed to say before the coil snapped and your vision went white while you felt the intensity of it. He didn’t slow down or stop rubbing your sensitive nub, he just continued chasing his orgasm until he painted your gummy walls white.

His thrust became erratic and he started to curse under his breath, you were all aching with the force of him pounding your pussy for what felt like hours.

His dick started to twitch and he let his pelvis flushed against your ass as you felt the hot spurts of cum paint inside your cunt, he threw his head backward and enjoyed the feeling of his orgasm while he still was inside you.

He looked at you again with those black eyes and removed himself out of your abused hole, watching as his cum ran down your entrance to your tight hole and pooling on the table down your ass.

He sat you on the table and freed your hands from that red cloth, bringing each one of your wrist to his lips and kissing the bruises.

He looked at you softly and put your hands down, bringing his own to hold your waist and stroke the skin there.

“You know…I lied about the thing with my name and not showing my face.” He took you by surprise

“What do you mean?” You had a confused look on your face.

“The truth is that I can’t put my face in those walls ‘cause I have so many faces that I lost count, also, that is my real name too.” He said like it was something casual.

“The…Banished?” You still were lost.

“Yep, the one God banished from paradise.” He looked at you intensely as you opened and closed your mouth looking for something to say. "But that's a conversation for another time, you and I aren't done here yet, darling."

And that's how you found yourself with your soul trapped by the Devil, or rather, The Banished.

#darknesseddiemfics #dark eddie munson #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie smut #dark!eddie munson #eddiemunson #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie munson smut

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volfoss · 3 months

Text

the big and long miss yucky restoration post, part 1:

early february, i got a very damaged (what i thought was) ddh-10 (dollfie dream head, model 10) head from yahoo japan auctions. i had never seen a doll with such damage EVER and even though i hoped someone else may buy her (i did not want to pay the shipping fees), i ended up buying her. for your viewing pleasure, images of miss yucky at the start of this with explanations of what exactly is the damage (or what i thought the damage was at the time)

[ID: Four images of a severely damaged doll head.

The first image is of the head facing straight forward. Her face is very unevenly colored. She has small patches of a darker and more yellow vinyl tone showing on her face, from the paler paint cracking away. Her face is very simple, with big eyes that have cartoonish eyelashes and a small smiling mouth. Noteably, her nose is barely there. She has many spots of dirt on her forehead. Her eyes are dark blue and round, with unsmoothed white clay above the iris.

The second image is inside the doll's head, showing the eyes being held in with hot glue, gray clay, and blue sticky putty. Her headcap is set to the side and the true more yellow vinyl color is visible on the rim of the head that is open.

The third image is her head at an angle that better shows the eyes. The eyes themselves have a weird bumpy texture on them and her face looks very shiny from this angle.

The fourth image is her head in profile, showing that her nose has been almost completely removed. The discoloration is more visible in this photo than the first, with patches of bright white along the head seam right beside dark patches where the paint appears to have been scratched away. In this picture, it is most clear where the headcap has been replaced from the original, as there is a lower seam running around her head, with the headcap being much smaller than it should be. /end ID]

Hopefully her nickname makes more sense now lol. More elaboration on the issues and her process to looking a lot better under the cut, because it is long :)

As for the issues, I assumed it was either a sealant issue or just something mysteriously wrong that was causing the sheen (once I got her in the mail, I began to assume that it was all the plasticizer leaking out of her head, leaving it rock hard). Plasticizer is what keeps vinyl (which is what her head is made of) squishy, and when it leaks out, it leaves a sticky residue on the vinyl, a lot of sheen to it, and most importantly, when it is all leaked out, it leaves the head hard. Her head was as hard of a rock (or as hard as my resin dolls) and that was the only thing that made sense. It couldn't be age, as at the time, I believed she was a DDH-10, which had only begun production around 2016 (and most of the heads that had hardened over age were at least 5-10 years older than that).

Her eyes were stuck in in some mysterious way. The white on the top being not smooth threw me off, as I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be clay or just something to stick the eyes in. I hadn't really seen white sticky putty used on eyes super often but it is something that was used. The other obvious issue is the modding. At the time, I fully believed she was a DDH-10, so was shocked at all the modding that had been done to her. Her eyes had been widened, nose completely sanded away, chin seemingly sanded a bit, and her head cap was from (what i thought was) a different company. We will return to the true ID of miss yucky shortly.

Once I got her, I became aware of a few more issues:

She was INCREDIBLY sticky when I touched her face. This is not normal with vinyl dolls, and I could really only pray it was a sealant issue (as the most popular sealant in the BJD hobby, MSC, can seal glossy if it's used improperly (I've had the same issue when spraying it too close to the face or in too cold of weather)). The shininess was far worse in person as well.

The aforementioned head as hard as a rock. For people unfamiliar with vinyl heads, this specific type of doll has a headcap (which is the thing that you can kind of see is ill fitting in the original photos) that you are supposed to be able to squeeze the head to remove. These kinds of heads are VERY squishy. For example, my other vinyl doll, Beatrix, has a head so soft that I can easily remove the headcap with little effort (it's about the squishy levels of a Monster High head if that helps). At this point, I was very worried I would be completely unable to remove her headcap. But since the listing photos had had it removed, I was moderately hopeful

Her eyes were in odder shape than I thought. Prior to getting her, i had assumed her eyes were the ones you see in an average stuffed animal, just simple ones you sew in. With her modded eyes, it was pretty clear that she would need some kind of custom eyes, so this had made sense to me, that someone would have gotten those eyes and popped some clay around them. But upon getting her, I saw that they were custom eyes that were usually made for these kind of anime BJDs (term used loosely but most vinyl bjds like this have stylings closer to anime artstyles rather than the realistic ones that resin bjds have) and had some weird residue on them.

Her eyewells (the bit of vinyl between her eye and eyeball, where your waterline would be if she was a human) were much deeper than expected, which was why her eyes looked so deep and far back. Most of my resin dolls have similar issues due to that being how the company sculpts them so I wasn't too worried about that as much as I probably should have been lol

[ID: Two pictures of the same doll head.

The first picture is from an upwards angle and shows that she has a somewhat thick line of vinyl between her bottom eyelashes and her eyeball itself. She is being held by a pale hand and the photo is under harsh lighting.

The second picture is facing from the front and is being held by a pale hand. She is noteably very shiny and is about the size of the person's palm. /end ID]

You can see here the way the vinyl is thicker under the eye than it should have been in this case. The second picture is there because she was MUCH bigger than I anticipated, about the same size as Beatrix's head. Quick explanation on why this is odd: The DDH-10 sculpt is meant for 1/4 or MDD scale bodies (BJDs have different scales, all compared to the human body. 1/4 scale dolls are less than 2 ft tall, or on average, 45 cm tall. MDD is the type of body that the company that produces the DDH-10 that is made for the 1/4 scale), but the DDH-03 (the head model Beatrix has) is meant for 1/3 scale (on average around 60 cm or around 2 ft). Everywhere online had said that 10 head model was smaller but I didn't think much of it at the time.

The day that she had arrived, I had made a post on a big BJD forum, as a sort of project journal as I worked on her. The members were IMMENSELY helpful and the hunt for her true identity had begun. A few members were convinced she wasn't a DDH-10, but to me, I really was convinced she was, as she had been listed as such, had arrived in a box for that head type, and the way that she could have been modified made a lot of sense to me with that sculpt. This was not the case, as she ended up getting id'd as an Obitsu 60 cm girl head. I'm including this for a reason (and not just because I wanted to do a big post writing up the specifics of my journey fixing her)

[ID: A blank doll head. It has the same smile and nose of the doll head shown in the photos prior, but noteably does not have any eyeholes carved in. Her vinyl color is much warmer and closer to a typical peachy tone than the very pale paint covering the prior shown doll head. /end ID]

This photo is taken from an old Mandarake listing, as one of the forum members had linked me to it. The most noteable thing here, is that unlike the head I have, the eyes are meant to be painted on (much like a Monster High head). Which means the customizer before me had hand carved these eyes (and somehow got them as even as they did). Other good news with this- the body I wanted to put her on was an Obitsu body, so somehow, they matched perfectly (each vinyl BJD company has different skintones, so I was not expecting that much of luck).

Her ID aside, let's dive into the restoration! I had to give a bit of backstory before we got into the good stuff lol

First step was getting her headcap off, as I wanted to remove her eyes before cleaning her face, just to not cause more damage to them than what had already happened to them (at this point, I did not know why the eyes looked like that). Thankfully, a hair dryer was able to heat the headcap and get it loose enough that I could pop the headcap off and get my first look inside her head.

[ID: A closeup of the inside of the doll head. There are thick globs of hot glue holding the gray clay in, a mysterious clear shape that is the back of the eye, and blue sticky tack holding it all up. /end ID]

Getting a better look at it, I just decided to dive in and start prying the hot glue off. Once I did that, it revealed that the gray clay was in fact Apoxie Sculpt (which dries VERY hard when its cured all the way. This was the worst case scenario, as I did not want to deal with removing that) and that one of the eyes came out all the way.

[ID: A closeup of the doll eye out of the head. It is surrounded by white clay on the top, with some of the Apoxie sculpt on the top. Above the doll eye, there is a piece of Apoxie sculpt that has browned and has some of the blue sticky tack on top. Two pieces of the hot glue are below the eye and the head is off to the side. /end ID]

I was SO relieved to see it was coming out, but the other eye did not come out as easily sadly. There was still a big chunk of clay that was presumably used to hold the eye in. I have no idea why the eye mechanism was like this at all to be honest. That clay was NOT coming out at all, so I moved to get her cleaned up.

At this point, I had noticed some black spots inside of the head. I was praying it was not mold because that would be nigh impossible to get cleaned up (given I could not just do what you do with MLP and heat the vinyl up and squish the mold out with using Oxi-Clean. Her head was too hard for me to do that). I had also been hit with an overwhelming "new vinyl" smell, which was another sign of the plasticizer being completely gone/leaking slightly, so I was pretty sure that was the case.

I cleaned her up with warm soapy water, but it didn't really get anything off. My next step was to remove the faceup with acetone, which is a little stronger than what most people use to remove faceups but I am very careful with it so please do not try using it unless you are cautious as well. I needed something strong to really get the layers of paint off. With how many dolls I've removed full body/full head paint off of, I have the method down pretty well (a short list of painted dolls I have had to deal with: my own Cordula head, as her head is bright white and needed to match her yellowed body; the body I have for my big guy (which was just a LOT of blue paint); Clarimonde's body (which was painted mostly to hide the top surgery scars from the modification but I wanted to remove the paint)). It came off pretty smoothly, and was revealing a gorgeously yellowed vinyl underneath. Quick clarification here, most people do NOT like their dolls yellowed. I do because it's easier to blush and work on because it is not stark white and I feel it makes the skin look a bit better for the most part (most of my dolls are yellowed but maybe 2 of them). She had some minor staining around her eyes and mouth but nothing compared to what I expected.

[ID: The aforementioned doll head, now much closer in tone to the listing photo. Her face is all cleaned up and her headcap is resting besides her. There are some faint stains by the eyes left from the eyelashes but she is otherwise completely cleaned and is blank. /end ID]

The difference was stark, as she looked much better with all the discolored paint removed. What I had worried was mold was just paint from the faceup and came off completely with no worries (I am convinced I kept lucking out with her because she was thankful to be cleaned up and taken care of).

I had, weirdly enough, been very worried that she would lose all of her charm and cuteness with no faceup, but she did not. Now that I had cleaned her up, I could return to the to do list. With no faceup, it was clear her eyes were slightly uneven, and the modding had left some scratches inside of the head that i wanted to clean up (namely because I felt bad for her for having to have those inside her head). Her nose was something that I definitely wanted to resculpt (which was partially why I wanted to get this doll, she was a big project and an excuse to learn skills that I had been too scared to learn prior to this, sculpting being one of them), but the shape was something I was super uncertain of. She would need custom eyes that were made to fit only her eye shape (her eyes are carved very low on her face in comparison to the original, so normal round BJD eyes would not fit properly) and I would want to make her a wig. I also needed to get her on the body in a specific way modification wise, which will be something we will cover in a later post (as I have not done it yet lol).

Starting with the eyes, I started to work on getting the chunk of clay out of the head. I was immensely glad I had gotten a dremel to help restore my big boy (if you remember me posting images of getting the clay on a chest piece sanded down, that is the same doll) as I had to pretty much sand away at the clay for about an hour or more. Eventually I just gave up and pried it out of the head with a small sanding tool (as sanding it down was just not working too well and it was kind of my last resort). I sanded the inside of her head and outside of it, but neither of these differences show up a lot on camera, so I won't be including images. I sanded the outside of her head to get a few of the areas that were stained a bit to be a tiny bit less stained, as well as wanting a fully clean and sanded surface before I started sculpting.

[ID: Two pictures showing the inside of the dolls head. The first one has a large chunk of white clay visible under the right eye and the second shows the same spot with no clay, as it has been removed. /end ID]

You can see how big of a hunk of clay it was! It was BAD lol. I got through maybe 3 long youtube videos while getting this thing out.

The eyeballs themselves turned out to be made of resin, and thanks to one of the members suggestion on the forum, I cleaned them with acetone. They believed it was just sealant sprayed while the eyes were still in, and the acetone cleaned them up beautifully. They were still not the right fit for miss yucky, but I was very relieved to see that they cleaned up okay.

This photo was before cleaning them up, as I was so confused what could have even been going on here and needed to get advice.

[ID: The eye close up. There is an almost foggy texture over it that obscures the colors a bit. They are a dark blue. The surface is very bumpy and there are some remnants of the white clay that surrounded them still attached. /end ID]

And this photo shows them cleaned up! The left one has been cleaned and the right has not.

[ID: The two eyes laying flat on a gray countertop. The left one is still moderately foggy but is much much clearer than the one to the right. There is a slight gradient in the iris and a small light blue highlight towards the bottom. The right eye is much foggier and is still very bumpy. /end ID]

As for the nose, I was originally planning on doing a larger nose (at least for an anime doll. Closer to what a Dollfie Dream Alna looks like versus the typical very skinny pointed nose) but the more I looked at her, the more I felt she resembled Pinoko from Black Jack. The eye shape, nose shape, and mouth shape (as well as how the eyelashes were painted) felt near identical, so I took inspiration from how Tezuka drew her nose when I was sculpting. I wanted it to flow into the rest of the profile naturally (that does not make much sense but it will once I show the pictures, or so I hope). I didn't want to do a super big difference with her nose, and stick to the original aesthetic as much as I could (which was my goal for most of this project, stick to the original but make it look a bit less "haunted doll" (as one forum member described her)).

[ID: Pinoko from Black Jack. She looks surprised or startled in the photo. She is a pale young girl with a orange-brown bob with bangs, wide brown eyes, a small round nose and a round face. She is wearing a blue shirt. /end ID] (This photo is from the All of Black Jack artbook if anyone is curious)

^Pinoko for reference. I hope the similarities are clear to see! I took some "pre-op" photos of miss yucky (she still does not have a name) and then got to work with some superfine white milliput.

[ID: Images of the blank head from the front and both sides. The first three photos show what the head looked like before the nose, and the second three photos show what she looks like with the nose. The nose is a very stark white compared to the rest of the head and is fairly small. It is upturned and has a slightly rounded tip. It flows into the rest of the profile smoothly, causing it to look very natural from the side. /end ID]

I was not perfectly happy with the nose but it was pretty close to what I had wanted, and I hoped that painting would just fix my issues. It is hard to see here but her eyeholes are also more evened out, although it is a VERY small difference.

The next step was a faceup, which was admittedly very scary. I got nail brushes to help get the fine lines a bit better than what I could do with my usual brushes (my hands are IMMENSELY shaky and have not wanted to cooperate at all during this project, thus the faceup has taken forever because I want to get it right) and wanted to pretty much just redo the previous faceup but with eyebrows and not the scariest skintone situation known to man.

For some context here - normally with faceups, you start with using chalk pastels to shade the head, then go in with watercolor pencils to get the lines, and then do acrylic paint last before doing the final sealing and glossing areas that need to be glossed. I normally follow this to a T, you can see that in my past faceups, I do most of the blushing and the eyeshadow colors first, then go through the rest of the steps.

This was not the case with this head, as I started off with trying to sketch her eyelashes with a watercolor pencil (this did NOT want to cooperate with her head texture/sealant texture) and then eventually just gave up and went in with watercolor paints on a brush. This was ALSO a pain (she wanted to be so so evil to me during this step I think lol) so I just went in with acrylics before doing anything else on the head. Her faceup was going to be mostly acrylics (minus the blushing on the cheeks) as I wanted to keep a similar look to how Tezuka paints Pinoko (he was a very big inspiration during this project, and is why I am doing certain steps, such as the nose and eyes (when I get there) the way I am) and keep the head's cartoonish and cute appearance. The eyelashes were the worst part of it, as I wanted to keep them symmetrical or as much as I could, but it was very hard. I got through the faceup immensely slowly, but to be fair, I was working on another faceup as I did hers (as I wanted to redo both of my anime style heads).

The eyebrows were OBJECTIVELY the worst part of this faceup though, as even in the mockup, I really struggled to paint ones that I felt suited her. At this point, I was really empathizing with the previous faceup artist as with her eyeshape, good eyebrows were hard to do. My other struggle was matching the nose to the vinyl. I am normally somewhat decent with color matching (again, doing Cordula's faceup around 3 times and having to color match the head to the body with paint each time helped here), but this was just very rough, as even with sanding, I felt the nose didn't blend into the face the way I wanted it to. The color was off and I couldn't figure out exactly HOW which was a very big pain. Admittedly, in lower lighting, the nose mod looks GREAT but up close with harsh lighting (which is how I do my faceups), it looked pretty rough. I'm not done with the faceup just yet, so I'm really including a few WIP pics, as I will be tossing the finished faceup pics in when I make the part 2 of this post :)

First off, the nose painted pics:

[ID: The head, now with the sculpted nose that is painted over, on a messy desk. The first image is in harsh lighting and the line where the nose mod begins and the vinyl head is more apparent. The second image is in darker and warmer lighting, and the mod looks more natural. The third image is under the same harsh lighting and shows the head tilted on its back, showing the side view of the nose that is painted. This angle makes it look better than in the first image. The paint is nearly perfect color matched but is slightly off. /end ID]

For my very first attempt doing a mod like this, I was very pleased with how it looked. Milliput is NOT as bad to work with as I anticipated and with the paint, the nose looked pretty natural. It definitely encouraged me to want to work with it more in the future, which is good (as I need to go back and fix Aca's top surgery a bit lol, as I was too scared to do the sculpting at first for him, but now I feel moderately confident about it). It was pretty fun to sculpt it but the painting was a bit of a pain since it was just off in a way that I couldn't put my finger on.

Next up, the most recent WIP

[ID: A closeup of the head, with the same cartoonish lashes painted on in black that she had before. The lashes are incomplete, with the left eye being painted partially with dark brown paint and the right in black paint. Both eyes have the bottom lashes fully painted in black and faint brown pencil marks serve as guides to place the lashes. The right eye has the first two eyelashes painted in black, whereas the left only has the pencil marks. She is very faintly blushed with a light pink on her cheeks. Another doll head in the process of being painted is in the background of the photo, mostly out of shot. /end ID]

I did dark brown paint first, in hopes that I could just outline it first and then do the blushing I needed to, but the stupid paint was NOT going on solid. So i had to jump right into the black paint and pray for the best. The best thing about acrylic paint is you can wipe it off with water easily. The faceup has been taking days, not just because of my chronic pain flaring up and making it hard to move my hands in a way that would work to make these eyelashes right, but because I am doing one lash at a time. This makes sure that my prior work isn't erased if I need to redo a lash but it makes it take a lot more time. I did this for both the heads I was working on, as they both are very fine motor skill required and I needed to get them perfect. The nose mod is also a bit more visible here, it really looks good in certain lighting and bad in others which makes it frustrating lol.

That's all for this VERY long post, ty if you have made it this far! The next post will hopefully be including progress on:

The faceup (hopefully done lol)

Eye making (this will be a VERY miserable time for me I fear)

The way I'm working with my personal modifications to the body to get the head to fit on there

Wig making/styling a wig I have to be her temp wig

And as a little bonus treat, her with Beatrix before I got her cleaned up :)

[ID: A pale vinyl BJD with an orange wig holding the project head. The doll holding the head has green eyes, and a very orange toned faceup. She is sitting on a white shelf and is wearing a white turtlenck and a striped yellow and white skirt. Their heads are around the same size. The project head has had no work done on her in this photo, so the contrast between the heads appearances in this photo is quite stark. /end ID]

#twist rambles #bjd posting #this is LONG long. so that is why it is under a cut lmao #and i need to make a post showing bea's faceup progress i think... but i gotta work on their heads a bit more now.#its insane how well its gone. i rly think shes happy to be home and grateful im helping her look a bit better :)#and in unrelated news good god im so glad i redid bea's faceup bc mannn it looks so much better now lmao. even if she was crazy stained #from the past faceup lol.#anyways. back to work. but this is what ive been working on for like a week but didnt wanna derail from the strike bc of how long of a post #ik it would be. like. as u can see i can talk abt dolls for forever. but this is not like... even all of the stuff i could talk about but i #wanted to kind of take ppl on the journey i was on #i think this is prob the longest doll post ive ever made good godddd... so sorry lol

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linskywords · 6 months

Text

Commissions Open Closed!

ETA 12/12/23: slots are currently full, will update if that changes!

Original post:

This is a bit of an experiment, but one I'm excited about! I'm opening up three commission slots (or 100K words of commissions, whichever happens first). Is there something specific you want me to write? Read on for details!

What does it cost?

This was such a tricky thing to determine. I've looked around at what other people are charging (for a lot of them it's very little--value your art, people!) and thought through what would make it feel worthwhile to me, and I've settled on $30 per thousand words. The price will be based on the length estimate we agree upon after we've discussed your prompt. I won't change the price if I write extra, but I will reduce it if the story ends up being significantly shorter than estimated.

What will I write?

Hockey RPF is the simplest answer. If you want something else and think I would be a good person to write it, get in touch and we can discuss.

If you're commissioning me, chances are you know the shape of stories I like to write. If it's something really far afield from that--e.g. something really dark, or with an unhappy ending, or a non-hockey setting I don't know anything about, or a story that doesn't focus on romance at all--I'm less likely to say yes to the project, but there's only one way to find out!

I will write (among other things):

NSFW

SFW

Most kinks (if I've written it before, I'm almost definitely in; if not, give me a try!)

Pining

Friends to lovers

Enemies to lovers

Soulmates

Soul bonds

D/s

A/B/O

Any weird magical realism AU, really

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

Pregnancy, mpreg

Mild dubcon

Threesomes, throuples, polyamory in general

Sibling incest

Underage (both partners underage or partners close-ish in age)

Slash, het, femslash, etc.

Rule 63

Trans or genderqueer characters (caveat that I am cis)

Gray-ace characters

New stories in existing series (though I may have more plot opinions in that case)

Sequels or timestamps for existing stories (ditto above)

You can probably talk me into:

Established relationships

Gangbangs

Winner's rooms

Ace characters (I haven't found the right story premise for an ace character but would love to find one that works for me)

Breakup/makeup

Noncanonical trades

Non-hockey AUs

Pairings I've never written before

Pairings that contradict a pairing I've written before (I have OTP feels)

A pair of original characters as the main characters

Pure fluff

Gen

Never say never but probably not:

Unhappy endings

Unrequited love

Cheating

Character/reader

Second-person POV

Darkfic

Career-ending injuries

Noncon (except as a background element or past trauma)

Major power differential such as child/adult (mild-to-moderate age difference doesn't bother me in fiction, but I hit a squick point)

Whatever your request, I'll have a back and forth with you to determine more about what you're looking for, whether I’m the right person to write it, and what the length range will be.

Timeline:

I'm gonna say a year from the time of commission. Hopefully I'll be able to finish sooner, but that will depend on the length of the project, whether I'm working on multiple commissions at once, and other factors in my life. If you have a specific deadline in mind (e.g. you're giving the story as a gift), that's something we can discuss.

Payment:

Half up front, half upon completion and before posting. I'll give you my PayPal info once we decide on a price.

Posting:

It's important to me to keep posting my work on AO3. If you want something to be just for you for any reason, let's discuss.

How to make it happen:

Hit me up via ask or message!

#wheeee #commissions #hockey rpf #fic commissions #we'll see how this goes

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ablogofchanges · 1 year

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Hey it’s my Birthday today. It feels good to be another year older. It feels weird only being in my early to mid 20s *blows out candle* (Wish I was a massive Bubba bear with a flatulent ass and a slob brain) 😮‍💨 🕯

In the start of mid 20s and already wanting for more age and look? Classic case to me!…. But, birthday wishes are always meant to be satisfying and fulfilled, am i right? So now instead of tricking you like others, im gonna do the opposite this time: Fulfilling every word of your birthday wish, just for ya bud'!

Blowing all the candles and stretching upward and outward, your spine goes with the significant pain as back muscles ripple in a round shape and quickly degrading. Your shoulders begin to protrude while you feel like your spine and rib cage about to expand, push outward in every direction from your bod, cracking, bending contortedly As it felt like your chest is being pulled backwards and up, your gut fills and bulking up with the sense of the weight of your own mass chest as it is your stomach gaining more and more with the fat keeps growing along with the stretching skin. Your torso is slowly getting black and bushy with the sense of how the shirt turning uncomfortable as if the calories in your belly makes them shrink A warm wave hit you along with a sudden wet sensation, ensuring your butt to let out a very long and loud fart. A tingling feeling around your butt gets stronger while your thighs has been replaced with an extreme itch on your entire lower body. You look down to see what changed as your thighs are completely glued together. Your once smooth legs have gone hairy from the backs of your thighs, now entirely covered. The worst of the itching is gone, however, a little tingly itching is left along the entirety of your lower Your legs straighten out with the hair spontaneously spreading out, soft and fuzzy like a solid blanket, up and down. Your fat has grown so much that your shirt now can't hold them, bursting down to the floor while your feet and toes broaden and widen. Your outstretching arms and hands feel the increasing weight and size of your body changing as if all the fat in your body shifted to your arms, making them massive as hair growing, going down to the hands with the existing hair was moving outward. Your wrists turn to be more flexible as your palms swelling and getting wider, and you start to feel your fingers extending in mass. You can perceive the fat on your fingertips increase and thicken. You sense dizzy and light-headed with the rapidly aged face and the eyes turn dull and blurry, wrinkles are messily formed on your face and under eyes while your head expand with the cheeks into a rounder shape. As your nose itching and painfully changing bigger rounder, you feel like lying in a pool of sweat and cant even think clearly. you keep getting older as your facial hair moving from your now blad head to form a sexy beard covering your now pale gray skin. Looking at the mirror, you can tell your birthday wish is fulfill like you have always desired...

Almost forgot! Soon your mind seems to be altering as well as your way of thinking is different, more simplier, incorrect and unable to make sense your own feelings. And with the brain is now slob, dumb and nothing but needing more food in the gut, you seem delighted with the wish! A dreamer or a fool? Can't judge your decision but a happy birthday to you!

Hey! This one is a little bit long and messy, again...

I have an annoucement that i still try to make submissions, but, im now busy irl until August! Yeah, a whole half of the year, i know, that means beside submissions, i wont upload anymore of my own stories. And i was thinking about doing Ko-Fi or Patreon, let me know if you guys have better ideas than that. Anyway, toodles!

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northwest-cryptid · 1 month

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im sending a cute moth to cheer you on while you're high

Oh man I love moths, fun fact; in my Native language the word for moth roughly translates to "The Night Spirit Butterfly" and I unironically think that's such a great name for moths

I wanted to see about the credibility of this however since a lot of the time I've heard people say that "the Native american word for this is [generic mystical sounding animal thing]" and then I look it up and it's like "nah we just kinda call that a bird." So I did some digging and located the original text it's sourced from:

I've been learning Lakota since it's my Native language and I was forced to learn English directly after learning barely enough Lakota to be conversational; since I wasn't able to keep up in school when it came to learning English. This is why I will always say English is my second language, because I was literally taught Lakota first and it made learning English significantly harder.

As a quick aside, I think it's interesting that after learning Lakota I had much more trouble learning English; while my brother who did not learn Lakota had no trouble picking up English as a first language. I believe this is honestly because English uses a completely different sentence structure and since my brother didn't have anything to compare it with it became the first and only structure for sentences he knew; it was the only pronunciation he knew. Meanwhile I had learned that wášte is pronounced like "Wash-teh" with a very subtle "ee" after the h, so then I went to school and they said "okay here's the word "Waste" how do you say that?" Not to mention the word wášte basically means "good" so learning an entirely new concept of a word made no sense at a young age.

Regardless, now I'm older and have a better grasp on how language works since I've spent my life learning a good few now (memory problems be damned) translating everything from games to web comics and novels for fun. So I've picked up Lakota and boy I forgot just how much of a weird language this is.

Like okay I know we're on a tangent here, but hear me out right; I need to explain this because it baffles me why they would do this.

So the word tȟó means blue, the word zí means yellow, and the word šá means red.

So then if we know what Blue, Yellow, and Red are; what do you think the word tȟózi means? It means Green right? because Blue and Yellow make green! Alright so then what about tȟóša it's gotta be Purple right? Yea exactly! Because Blue and Red make Purple! Okay one more here, zíša You probably already know this is Orange because of how this has been working so far; and that's 100% correct! It's a really simple and effective system right?

Alright, so then if we look at Black which is sápA and White which is ská we should be able to discern Gray!

So then what would Gray be? Based on what we know; there are two possible answers right? So we all agree that it's ȟótA right?

...

Wait, oh no it had such a good system it can't just NOT use it...

SURELY Pink would just be Red and White right?! Skasa or Saska or something...

WHY IS IT šamná?! In fact why is it šamná / šásaŋ / šástaŋ?!

Yea so anyways color system was so cool until they decided to just not use it and I am forever baffled by why this is the case.

So knowing what I know let's look into our case of the Night Spirit Butterfly.

Well right off the bat we can see it uses the word for Butterfly, that being Kimimila and I happen to know very well the word Nagi or "Wanagi" means Shadow or Spirit. So that gives us Wanagi and Kimimila but we're still missing that bit in the middle, where does that Ta come in?

Well the only example of ta being used is in the word Tatanka, which is literally the word Tanka and the word Ta which is cited as making it possessive. My best guess is that in this case it's being used as some kind of particle but I don't necessarily see how it making the word Wanagi possessive would fit that translation. That would make it closer to The Spirit's Butterfly, or something of that sort.

Of course this source actually does know what their talking about upon further reading through the document they have a lot of translations that are perfectly accurate so I believe them on this one but personally the inclusion of the "ta" particle there makes me wonder if it was suppose to be something closer to seeing the night in a possessive sense.

As to say Butterflies are to the day what Moths are to the night, they are The Night's Butterfly. The only issue there is that we need to remember that Nagi and Wanagi don't really mean "Night-Spirit" like that they do mean Shadow or Spirit and in some cases even Soul or Ghost depending on the context so I see even "The Ghost Butterfly" as being more accurate than to say The Night-Spirit. However this might just be a case of it being context sensitive as it does get across the fact that they're nocturnal rather than just being a dark butterfly.

Bonus fun fact, Mothman is my favorite cryptid.

tl;dr

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fairlyaverageff · 1 year

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UwU - (A Volturi One-Shot)

Okay, so here’s a much longer than expected one-shot that come from an idea my discord friends and I were throwing around when we were sharing approximately one brain cell. A kinda shitpost story about what would happen if a chaotic gen-z human (female) had to make it weird by moaning when a certain vampire king was trying to feed. Warning for very crude language, sexual references, and imagery. Obligatory note that in all of my fanfictions I tend to write the Volturi as a family unit. Meaning Aro did not kill his sister, the wives are loved by their husbands and not locked in a tower, and the Volturi itself if kind of like a government organization with 200+ members that definitely does hush-hush dealing with human governments. (I also picture Marcus as the late 30s type. Facecast being Henry Cavil in/as the Witcher but with brown hair lol. But this is fanfiction, so feel free to picture everyone as you like.) Renata is physically 18+ in this story... idk what her canon age is. Pairing is Platonic!OCxMarcus and OCxRenata. This was supposed to be 10 pages max and ended up being 35... so be ready for a wild ride. This One-Shot is LGBTQ+ friendly.

UwU - One Shot

“Look, my dudes, we can talk about this!” Her voice echoed down the stone corridor, the two men in their ridiculous cosplay-worthy gray cloaks completely ignoring her as they dragged her down the dark passage.

Each had a hand locked on one of her biceps and damn if their grip wasn’t firm.

She’d tried to wiggle away when they first grabbed her out in the streets, but that had been useless. All the strength in her decently fit barely-over-five-feet-tall body was no match for the two men who were much larger than her pitiful stature.

To say she yelled when one of them held her back against his chest and the other opened a drain cover and jumped down into the darkness below would have been an understatement. She’d screamed like a little bitch, and only shut up when the one who jumped into the hole that was only barely big enough for the two of them and would have easily broken her leg if she’d stuck it out, landed with her still held against him both completely unscathed as they faced his companion.

She knew enough about physics and gravity to know there was no way in hell these two men should have been able to jump down into a manhole from that height and not break both of their legs and/or die. There were multiple seconds of darkness and rushing wind to indicate they’d dropped from a ridiculous height.

Fully convinced this must be some government cell of sleeper super-soldiers she’d pissed off by tagging the side of the building they’d apparently been sitting on the roof of, she figured now was time to barter with them for her release.

“I got 24 bucks cold hard cash in my pocket, it’s all yours and we can forget this whole thing ever happened. Y’all can even leave me down here I’ll find a way back up to the surface, no biggie!”

One of her manhandlers snorted at that - the only sound she’d heard from either of them so far - and while it wasn’t the agreement to the deal she was hoping for, at least it was a sound of acknowledgement to indicate they weren’t deaf.

They didn’t stop dragging her, and the tunnel they walked through seemed to only get darker and darker as they went. The only light sources seemed to be very tiny lights on either side of the hall that were embedded in the floor - the kind of super tiny lights you’d see on the steps in a movie theater so you didn’t eat shit and bash your face when you came back from a pee after drinking an entire $9 soda during the opening credits. The two tiny pinpricks of light only popped up every thirty or so feet if she was guesstimating properly.

She couldn’t even see her captors; it was so dark. Their icy hands were still firmly clasped around her arms, but that didn’t stop her from trying to appeal to them in some way. “Look, I don’t know what kinda sleeper cell you guys belong to, but how in god's name can you see down here? Can I get some of the super juice or whatever steroid you guys are on?”

“Shut up.” The one to her left grunted, and she turned her head to stare into the dark where he should be at the sound of his voice.

“Wow, I can’t see what you look like but if you’re half as fine as your voice suggests I might be willing to barter something else for my release-,”

The one on her right made a sound that was clearly a choked back laugh that she would have absolutely responded smartly to if she wasn’t suddenly blinded by white light.

She yelped in shock. Neither of her captors broke in their stride as they threw open two metal doors to drag her through them and into this new hallway.

This hall was already very obviously different than the one they’d just been in - and not because the other was pitch black, echoey, and kinda damp feeling. If she didn’t know any better - and she didn’t - she’d guess she was just dragged into the corporate offices of some posh glass faced building. Fluorescent lights were spaced evenly in the ceiling, and to her right was a cozy waiting room that looked like it belonged in a bank for stupid rich people. There was a pretty tan woman sitting at a large mahogany desk.

“Yo lady, help me out here!” She called to the receptionist, who’d stood when the two men dragging her entered the hall looking very puzzled.

The two men halted holding her, about twenty or so feet away from an elevator that was dead ahead, all gazes locked on the receptionist.

The receptionist stared at her, her eyes traveling down to study her spray-paint covered forearms and dirty jeans, before comprehension dawned.

“Ah,” She sighed knowingly, “This is the graffiti artist who keeps tagging the city? I will punch in the code so you may take her directly to Master Caius.”

She had no idea what any of that meant, but as the receptionist spun to walk back to her desk, the men who were holding her began manhandling her again, towing her uncooperating form to the elevator.

They really did not seem even slightly phased by her wiggling.

She could hear distantly as the receptionist tapped away at her computer before the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

“You bitch!” It was all she could think to say. Where was the woman supporting woman sistership? Where was the solidarity? It was just a little spray paint! Definitely not enough of a reason for another woman to allow two men to drag a fellow girl to a questionable place with no explanation as to what was happening.

She got no response from the other woman, and was unceremoniously heaved into the elevator by the two men. They kept her between them the whole time, even when they did an about face to watch the closing doors and forced her onto her knees to wait as the elevator rose.

Her head craned back and she blinked rapidly to try to get her eyes to focus better on the two people holding her in the brightly lit elevator.

They were both pale, tall, and undeniably the most bangable dudes she’d ever laid her eyes on.

“Okay, yeah, I’m officially ready to offer up something else entirely for my peaceful release.” She said playfully, even though she wasn’t completely kidding.

She’d climb both of them like a tree, no doubt about it.

They didn’t even look down at her - they both stared resolutely forward as if determined to not give her the time of day.

“Oof, the sting of rejection is real my friends.” She sighed dramatically, “I can assure you, you’re missing out on a real opportunity here - oh shit you guys are so strong!”

The end of her sentence was a startled exclamation as the doors dinged open and she was roughly dragged back to her feet and out of the elevator. Her ridiculously hot captors said nothing to her as they dragged her down this stone hall that was periodically lit with fluorescent lights in the ceilings.

There were no windows here, and there was something about the stone that had her thinking about the old castle in the city that she was never able to get close enough to to cover with her art.

But most of that place wasn’t structurally sound - at least all the locals said it wasn’t - so there’s no way that’s where she was.

Though, that would be a pretty ideal cover for a government pod of super hot super soldiers to operate out of.

There was no telling how long they dragged her, or exactly where she was, before they abruptly stopped and turned her around so she was facing a large heavy looking wooden door.

The captor to her right raised a pale hand and knocked twice on the wood, the sound echoing in the hall, before reaching for the handle. There had been the slightest pause as if someone had responded to the sound and invited them in before the man made to open the door, but she knew that couldn’t be the case. The only sounds in this hall were her breathing and the echo of the knock.

Without any fanfare or preamble, the door was opened and she was pulled inside. She was fully ready to make a new comment about how manhandling wasn't necessary and if they wanted her to come with them all they had to do was say please, but she was quickly distracted as her brain rushed to take in the details of the new room she was in.

Much like the hall, there were no windows here. This room was clearly an office, decked out with overflowing bookcases on every wall - the only break in those bookcases being the unlit fireplace that took up a decent spot of room on the left, a large desk right smack in the center, two plush chairs facing it and the stone floor covered by what she was positive was a very expensive and large Persian rug.

There was no time to observe the wall behind her, because she was once again unceremoniously shoved to her knees between her two captors. Each had a hand on her shoulder and upper arm respectively, as they stood between the two chairs and faced the man who was rising to his feet from his place in the leather chair behind the desk.

He was tall, platinum blonde, and she might have considered him to be better looking than the two hunks who’d abducted her if it weren’t for the really unattractive scowl that was presently on his face.

“This is the one who's been defiling our city for the last two months?” He sneered, his question meant for either of the two men holding her.

“Yes sir.” The hottie on her left replied. “We caught her in the act, and we detained her immediately.”

Detained? What were these guys, cops?

“Pretty sure you can’t call it detained if you dragged me to some underground bunker.” She quipped smartly, “Detained would mean you held me where you caught me-,”

“Shut up!” Hottie on the right hissed, digging his fingers into her shoulder in a way that was totally not cool and made her wince.

“Leave us.” The platinum blonde waved a hand at her captors. “I’ll take care of it from here.”

“Yes sir.” The two men said in unison like well trained soldiers as they released her and, as if by magic, both were gone and the sound of the door snapping shut rang in the sudden silence of the room.

What in the actual fuck.

It was quiet for a very awkward moment as the two of them stared at each other, before she figured she might as well speak since he didn’t seem inclined to. “So what, are you gonna like… write me a citation? Give me my one phone call? Shoot me dead and leave me in a ditch somewhere? Cause honestly, the vibe is all off here and I don’t know what the hell you and your super soldiers got planned-,”

Abruptly he was in front of her, her face only inches from his thighs in a movement that had been so quick she didn’t even see it.

Yeah, these guys definitely had some super serum shit going on.

She fell backward onto her palms at his proximity. “Look man, you’re super hot and all, but I usually ask for dinner first and I can see that wedding band - I don’t fuck with married men.”

He grabbed her, and none too gently either, by both of her upper arms like she was a small child and lifted her clean off the floor. She might have aimed a kick - or two - at his groin in response, but that proved to be completely useless. He didn’t flinch; the man didn’t so much as grunt when her foot landed right at the hip joint, and that was kinda damaging to her ego cause she was sure it was a solid hit.

All the air was knocked out of her lungs when he suddenly slammed her back into the wall near the door - how and when he’d moved them over there she had no idea.

At least there wasn’t another bookcase against it, because that really would have hurt.

“I do not tolerate little pests like you defiling my home, and I absolutely will not tolerate cheek from anyone - especially a mortal.”

She had a couple responses to that in her head - one of them was just to compliment him on his truly spectacular upper body strength because wow - so she went with the second option that was a more coherent response to his hiss.

“Okay firstly, I was ready to offer you the $24 I offered the other guys to let me go, but slamming me against the wall just lost you that chance. Secondly, I know y’all got some steroids or some experimental drugs that the government clearly doesn’t wanna share with the rest of us little people, but no matter how cracked out you are right now there's no way you actually consider me a mortal and you a…” She trailed off, leaving the ending open so he could answer the unspoken question.

His only response was to shake his hair back out of his face, and for the first time she saw what the warm light from the single lamp on the desk had failed to show her when she was dragged to this office.

This dude's eyes were the strangest shade of dark red.

“Dude whatever they’ve got you taking, you really gotta stop, because those eyes are freaky-,”

He bared his teeth at her, and while the tiniest part of her brain kinda wanted to laugh at that, the other 98 or so percent was pulling fire alarms in every corner of her being. She had no explanation as to why, but it made her very uneasy, and her unease definitely wasn’t made any better by the animalistic snarl he let out that she was sure sent vibrations into her bones.

Okay fuck, that was actually kind of scary. She felt like all the hair on her body stood up at the sound.

He smiled at her and for the first time her brain wasn’t distracted by his looks enough to realize this was not a smile she wanted directed at her.

Uh oh.

He inhaled deeply, lowering her so he was no longer holding her slightly above him on the wall and making the rough stone scratch her back. He only stopped lowering her when they were almost eye level.

Caius could smell the fear, and he was pleased that he finally prompted silence from the smart mouthed little brat.

“You’ve spray painted your last building chit. If rebirth is true, maybe in your next life you’ll have a subconscious instinct to know better than to damage the property of others. Especially when you have no idea who you could be up against.”

That was the perfect opportunity for an innuendo, and she would have taken it if he didn’t close the space between them and yank her head to the side with one hand in her hair so quickly she was convinced he might just scalp her.

All animals would instinctively fight against a predator trying to sink its teeth into them. It was natural instinct to fear anything that could swiftly end their life and in this moment she fully understood humans were no different.

His teeth were in her neck, and she could tell instantly that they were way too sharp to be human - they felt almost burning hot - and she heard an awful ripping sound as pain shot through her head and shoulder from her neck.

It was the sound of ripping flesh, and it was a sound she would have happily gone the rest of her life without hearing.

She could hear him swallowing, and felt like her shirt was becoming damp.

These pale beautiful people were not super soldiers. They weren’t some secret government placed grouping of new genetically engineered cops.

They weren’t human at all, and she’d seen enough true blood and read enough smutty vampire novels to know what was happening here.

Her head was starting to spin, the room at the edges of her vision becoming darker with each passing second.

With the knowledge that she was going to pass out, also came the realization that she was going to die.

Well, if this is how she was gonna go out she might as well make it interesting right? Like, she should at least make it memorable for both of them - more so for him because he’d be the one alive to remember it.

With her brain in full fuck it I’m dead anyway mentality, she took in the little air she could despite the creature holding her against the wall with its fangs embedded in her neck and let out the most ridiculous bad-porno video moan she could with her last breath.

The vampire dropped her so suddenly that her body smacked onto the stone floor with a sound that was definitely not pretty. She didn’t have even the slightest forewarning that it would be a good idea to put her hands out to break her fall.

She would have tried to stand, or run, or scream, if the second she tried to roll over her body didn’t feel as though she was having electric shocks of pain running through it. So there she stayed, lying on her side with her back against the wall and feeling a horrible fire burning in her neck. Hopefully she bled out quickly, or he came back to finish her off soon - maybe the moan wasn’t the best idea. At least she would have died quicker that way.

Caius stared at the curled mortal on the floor in absolute disgust, his appetite completely vanishing at the awful sound she just emitted. She’d been getting off on that?

Ugh.

No.

He couldn’t even look at her.

He went back to his desk, mumbling under his breath about revolting mortals and resumed his task of going through the never ending pile of correspondence he’d been putting off taking a look at for the last week.

The only sounds in the room were his pen scratching across paper as he began writing, and the shuddering breaths of the human girl across the room as she died.

He was fully content with letting her bleed out, then he’d have someone collect her body for disposal. He wanted absolutely nothing more to do with the repulsive little thing.

He started to lose track of time as he wrote, waiting impatiently for the extra set of breaths to cease. The heartbeat, while uneven, was a white-noise like sound to him, and it wasn’t until over half an hour had passed that he realized there was a problem.

The breathing and the beating of her heart weren’t slowing. The room smelled thickly of her blood so he’d assumed she’d been bleeding out, but when he glanced up from the fourteenth letter he was replying to he could see that the gaping wound he’d left on the side of her neck had healed over, looking as if she had a pale skin graft set over the area.

No!

She was one of the rare mute changers, and the only way he’d ever let that change complete itself was if all seven layers of hell froze over.

Maybe not even then.

He shot to his feet, rounding the desk and flashing to her side instantaneously and imperceptibly to human eyes. Kneeling on the floor, he grabbed the closest limb to him - an arm that she had stretched out - and dragged her hand up toward his mouth.

The second he bit into her wrist he knew there was no hope in finishing her off the old fashioned way. The blood was thick, and there was a sweet undertone - and aftertaste - of venom that made it unpalatable. He would have swiftly dispatched her using the good old twist-and-snap-the-neck method, but the moment his teeth left her wrist she groaned, and the groan was so reminiscent of the moan that had made him drop her in the first place he threw her arm away from him as if burned.

He was by his desk again, not wanting to stand too close to the mortal who seemed to be getting a sexual thrill off of being killed by him as if she’d given him a disease.

Ugh. No. He would not touch her again.

Disgusting.

The sound of her uneven breathing, and the equally uneven but still unmistakably strong beating of her heart was the only sound in here now aside from his own breaths.

She was changing, and if he didn’t stop it now he was going to have a huge headache on his hands explaining to his brothers why there was a random newborn in the castle and why he needed someone else to dispose of her.

She’d likely damage his office in a newborn frenzy, and it was the desire to not have her destroy his belongings that caused him to cross the room and hastily exit. He took care to lock his door just in case before he sniffed the air in the hallway, looking for a scent he recognized.

He found the scent he was looking for, his brother having passed by here sometime earlier in the day, and he followed its trail even though he knew where it would lead.

~~~~~~UwU~~~~~~

“Marcus! I need a word.” Caius’ voice was sharp as it cut through the previous peaceful silence of the library. He could hear the quiet steps and breathing from guards who were pacing around the shelves, reading, and just taking a break in the large multi-level sanctuary. Their library was huge, but he knew exactly where Marcus liked to sit on the main floor - his chair by the fire was a well known off-limits seat to everyone in the coven.

No one was close to his brother - the guards usually gave any of the kings a large berth when they were relaxing in this space - and Caius could hear Marcus’ personal guards Afton and Chelsea off in the distance, sitting on the floor in a far-off aisle and talking quietly among themselves.

If he spoke low enough he was sure he’d be able to keep his conversation with Marcus private.

Their numerous guards loved to listen in on each other and gossip on any given day, but they still knew better than to even attempt to do so with any of the ancients.

Marcus’ head turned toward Caius, watching his approach and studying his expression until he was standing in front of Marcus’ chair.

Whatever it was Marcus saw on Caius’ face clearly concerned Marcus because his usually glassy gaze had a certain sharpness to it that was only ever reserved for times when there was news of an impending attack on their coven being brought to their attention. Marcus set the book he had been reading down on the arm of his chair, eyeing Caius with a clearly speculative gaze that Caius was one hundred percent certain questioned his sanity.

“What is it, brother?” Marcus asked, his tone grave as he rose to his feet. He stood perfectly straight, his impressive height accentuated nicely by the fire crackling behind him in the hearth.

“I- there’s…” He hardly knew how to explain it, the words refusing to fall from his lips as his silent brother stared at him as if expecting very bad news.

It took him a long moment to realize his speechlessness wasn’t because he didn’t know what to say - it was because he was embarrassed to speak his thoughts aloud.

But this was Marcus, and he was a much more preferable confidant than Aro who had a tendency to use his thoughts against him for personal gain if he wanted something badly enough and Caius was theoretically digging his heels into the ground in response.

Yes, Marcus was definitely the better option.

Aro would find out later of course, but at least it would be after his issue was taken care of.

“The guards found the human who’s been putting graffiti up all over our city.” Caius said stiffly, trying to ignore the way his brother's brows raised at the unexpected topic of conversation. “I started feeding on her but I… I couldn’t finish and I need you to…”

He trailed off, and Marcus stared at him for a long moment, his gaze un-focusing for a few seconds as he watched something invisible moving around in the air around Caius.

He knew the exact moment his brother saw what was unmistakably a sire bond beginning to form between him and the mortal on the floor of his office.

“You are changing her?”

“NO!” Caius’ denial was very loud indeed in the silent library, and he quickly adjusted his voice so he was whispering once more. “No I… I need you to go and take care of it.”

Marcus’ eyebrows were so high on his forehead Caius was expecting them to crawl up into his hairline and disappear like caterpillars in a bush.

“I went back to finish but it was too late and her blood…” Caius started to explain feebly, his hands raised as if pleading for Marcus to understand. “She was already turning. I need you to go and stop it.”

Marcus stared at him.

“Can you just do it!?” He snapped, quickly growing frustrated by his brother's inaction. “Please?”

The word please falling from his brother's lips was so startling that Marcus blinked rapidly for a second, before coming back to himself enough to speak. “If you weren’t thirsty enough to feed fully why didn’t you just break her neck?”

No need for Marcus to comment on how dark his brother's eyes still were. He knew there was some other unexplained reason Caius didn’t finish the human off - perhaps she was a drug addict and her blood was terrible.

Though the traces of human scent that clung to his brother's clothes didn’t smell half bad to him…

“I can’t touch her.” Caius growled. “Will you just go do it? Please?”

This time the please that passed from Caius’ lips sounded more like a curse, and that was what Marcus expected from him on a normal day.

He sighed. “You need me to take care of it like a little girl asking her father to squish a spider for her?”

“Now listen here you-,”

Marcus raised a hand, nonverbally telling Caius that the insults he had ready at the tip of his tongue were unnecessary. “Either you tell me why you can’t touch her, or you deal with it yourself. I don’t fancy touching a human who may burn, shock, or otherwise cause me discomfort because you’re trying to pull a tasteless joke.”

There was also no need to mention that Caius had no sense of humor and he was sure whatever his reason for not touching the human and needing him to take care of it, it was not over a desire to pull a prank.

That was more Aro’s speed.

And Aro probably would want the human to live so he could see what their gift manifested as, as an immortal.

“It’s no joke!” Caius’ tone was exasperated. “But I can’t touch her! She’s… ugh.”

He literally shivered in disgust.

Marcus did not move, and Caius knew this was a hopeless cause if he wasn’t going to explain himself.

“She moaned.” Caius hissed through his teeth, so low only his brother could hear and any passing guards in the halls would be none the wiser. “I’ve never been so disgusted in my life.”

Marcus’ lips parted just the smallest amount in shock, and when he tamed his expression back to indifference the edges of his lips twitched for just a second.

That insignificant twitching at the edges of his emotionless brother's mouth was as close to a grin as his brother ever came since the death of his wife nearly three millennia ago.

He growled.

“Just show me where she is, Caius.” Marcus sighed, an edge to his voice that Caius didn’t recognize right away. “I’ll take care of it.”

That placating little I’ll take care of it nearly made him blow a gasket, because he realized what the edge was in Marcus’ voice.

Marcus was amused.

Rather than give him any more ammo to use against him in a future argument, Caius turned on his heel and strode from the library, not bothering to look back to see if Marcus was following. He heard his brother's sigh and the sound of his steps as he followed him back to his office.

The run only took a couple of minutes, and when he was a hall away from their destination with Marcus right on his heels he was intercepted by the last person he wanted involved in this right now.

Aro turned toward their hurried approach, both of his brows raised as Caius stopped short, his gaze finding Marcus over his shoulder as he stopped too.

They all stared at one another for a long moment, and Caius was grateful over how quiet Marcus usually was because he didn’t seem inclined to say anything at all.

Aro sighed, “Alright, what am I missing?”

The face Caius made in response to that inquiry was answer enough that something was afoot.

After ten seconds of silence where it became obvious Caius wasn’t going to answer, Marcus spoke. “Caius has an… issue… and he asked me to sort it out for him.”

“Oh?”

“Some of the guards encountered the tagger that’s been marking the city.” Marcus elaborated. “She is… indisposed in Caius’ office.”

Aro’s gaze locked with Caius’ at this. “Since when have you ever liked sharing your food?”

It was an appropriate question to ask. Caius was a very possessive eater. When he got into a feeding temperament he was very aggressive over his kills.

He didn’t even like sharing with his mate - though he was willing when the mood struck him and the bond insisted he provide for Athenodora.

But allowing Marcus or Aro to have one of his kills? Especially when Caius had been chomping at the bit all month to get his hands on the mortal who was insulting him so thoroughly by defiling the city he was very protective of? There was no way.

Aro stared at Caius and Caius stared right back as he tried to think of a way out of this situation - at least for the time being.

When his brother raised his hand, palm up, Caius knew he no longer had much of a choice.

Aro was ruthless in getting what he wanted.

Striding forward he brushed palms with his mind reading brother, before roughly shoulder checking him as he pushed past him and stomped toward his office.

Aro made a sharp intake of breath, and Caius knew that it wasn’t because of the uncalled for shove.

He very nearly took the door to his office off its hinges as he shoved it open when he heard his brother snicker.

The girl was still there - obviously - but it seemed that she’d made an attempt to crawl away. Undoubtedly she was just following the natural animal instinct to get somewhere safe when badly hurt and exposed to the presence of predators, but she’d only made it roughly ten feet before she curled up in a ball on the floor between the chairs.

Now she was in a very inconvenient spot right in the middle of his office but he tried not to let that irritate him; one of his brothers would remove her.

What he hadn't been expecting the moment his brothers entered, all three of them now standing at different points in a circle around the girl on the floor, was the sound that came from Marcus.

Marcus took in a sharp breath, his eyes snapping down to stare at the girl on the floor before both of his hands found the sides of his head, his fingers kneading at his temples.

Neither Aro nor Caius could ask what was wrong before Marcus sat on the ground by the girl within half a second, staring at her with an expression that would have been much more at home on someone who’d just suffered a head injury.

“Marcus!” They both said in unison, Aro reaching out to yank one of his hands from his head so he could find out what ailed him.

Caius didn’t speak, giving Aro silence so he could focus on helping Marcus, his eyes traveling to the black haired female.

His discomfort be damned, if this girl was hurting Marcus he didn’t care if he had to stomp on her skull and ruin his shoes to kill her.

He was about to do just that when Aro spoke.

“Ah, yes. I can feel it now.” Aro dropped Marcus’ hand, gaze switching from Marcus to the curled little mortal on the floor at his feet. “I understand brother. It’s settled then.”

“What?” Caius hissed, throwing his hands up in frustration. He always hated not being privy to these private conversations Aro and Marcus had sometimes - he looked between them as if everyone in the room but himself had lost their senses. “What’s settled? What’s she done to him? What are you on about this time?”

“She’s got a happiness aura, Caius. I can feel it myself, though it took until I read Marcus to notice it at all. Surely you sensed it when you were feeding on her?”

The look Caius gave him all too clearly said no, he most certainly did not feel it.

Aro sighed, waving a hand airily at his brother, crouching down so he was close to the small human on the ground, his elbows on his knees and his hands hanging limply in front of him. “It seems the answer to the theory we’ve been hopeless to solve ever since my sister's passing is right here, isn’t it Marcus?”

Marcus, who was still sitting on the floor looking as if he’d been hit over the head with a heavy object blinked once, then groaned as he ran his hands over his face. “My head hurts-,”

“Your head can’t hurt!” Caius snapped automatically, only growing more frustrated when Aro ignored him to reach over to Marcus once more with his palm up.

“It does.” Marcus grunted and for the first time in too many centuries to count, Marcus’ eyes found his with a clarity in them that was so foreign it made Caius feel incredibly uneasy. Marcus touched his palm to Aro’s without breaking eye contact with Caius, rising to his feet in one fluid motion.

“Ah yes, I’m not surprised.” Aro mused, more to himself than anyone else as his gaze remained focused on the human before them. “You’ve gone nearly three millennia without. It's only natural that now that you have a steady supply again you’ll feel a little off balance.”

“For God’s sake Aro!” Caius was about to go on a tirade, both of his brothers could hear it in his voice, but neither reacted with the same emotional upheaval of their most hot-headed brother.

“We could never truly know because she was dead.” Marcus said quietly, “And we’ve never encountered another like her until now. I still feel… by the gods do I miss her… but I don’t…”

Marcus did not continue, and it was the look on his brother’s face that had Caius sobering immediately, his anger fading as quickly as a snuffed flame of a candle as the lid was replaced.

“I’ll have Eleazar examine this one,” Aro sighed, “So we’ll know if she’s addictive like Didyme - bless her heart - but even if she is… it’s probably best you stay exposed to her Marcus.”

Marcus didn’t say anything to that and the silence in the room over the next few minutes was only interrupted by the pounding heart of the human lying before them, her uneven breathing easily ignored.

So it was true then. Marcus’ unusual level of codependence on his late wife, and his unusually severe depression after her death was because of withdrawal from his mate’s happiness-inducing talent. Plenty of vampires who’d lost their mate still lived and functioned out in the world. Although all of them mourned the passing of their true loves, none had taken a hit as horribly as Marcus. However, they had never been able to prove that his depression was anything more than him loving her very much and having a dependent personality.

To know that none of it was true - that he wasn’t weak, but just a victim of circumstance - was too much for Marcus to process right now. He didn’t want to look at the human on the floor between him and his brothers, though he knew she was about to change his life.

"Well, nothing more to do now than check back in a couple of days," Aro clapped his hands once, getting to his feet.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold on a second!" Caius' expression was appalled as he realized what Aro was saying, gesturing to the human on the floor, "Aro you can't be saying what I think you're saying! You haven't even read her-,"

"Bah!" Aro made a clear sound of discontent as he wrung his hands in front of him. "You know I'll never touch someone mid-change!"

Caius pursed his lips. Right. Aro reading someone mid-transformation meant his raven-haired brother would receive the full details of how much pain they were in.

He'd already lived through the pain of his own transformation. He didn't need to relieve the experience through anyone else.

"You don't have to do anything more Caius. Just leave her here. We'll deal with it later."

“I- but- she-,” Caius spluttered, gesturing wildly to the mortal that was barely twitching on the floor. She was definitely one of the rare silent-change cases that would come up every now and again. Which was kind of a relief because he didn’t want to listen to the thing scream for the next three days. “I don’t- You can’t make me!”

“She’s already changing.” Aro’s brows were raised. “There's nothing more you need to do with your charge-”

“She’s not my charge.”

“So the tooth fairy came in and changed her then?” Marcus remarked dryly, “Did you make sure to get their contact information so we can let them know to come pick her up?”

“You aren’t funny!” Caius snarled, “You could not have chosen a worse time to have a reawakened sense of humor-”

“Well don’t act like it’s our fault you didn’t finish your food-”

“She’s disgusting!”

“She moaned Caius.” Aro rolled his eyes, “A biting kink is hardly the most scandalous fetish out there nowadays. There was this one man I encountered who-”

“Stop!” Caius and Marcus both spoke at the same time, neither wanting the undoubtedly tasteless mental image Aro was about to inflict on them.

“I am not doing this Aro!” Caius snarled, “I bought you guys here to dispose of her-,”

“We’re not going to dispose of your little newborn Caius,” Aro rolled his eyes, “She’s your responsibility-”

“The hell she is!” He took one step forward, ready to do whatever was necessary to stop this madness before something hit him.

He staggered back multiple feet until his lower back struck his desk, staring at Marcus - who was still lowering his fist - in shock as his left ear pulsed with pain.

The realization that Marcus struck him sobered him immediately, but didn’t stop the insult he had ready at the tip of his tongue. “You did not just punch me you bastard-”

“Enough!” Aro’s voice was loud, his tone so stern it caused both Marcus and Caius to stop glaring at each other and turn to him.

“Leave the girl here, Caius.” Aro enunciated each word slowly as if he were particularly dense. “Do not lay a finger on her. We’ll address this again in a couple of days.”

Caius looked at him, and then at Marcus for a long time in which not a single one of them took a breath, absorbing each of their stubborn expressions before cursing and storming out of his office.

Damn them both.

~~~~~~UwU~~~~~~

Marcus hesitated outside the door to Caius' office. There was no reason for him to announce himself or knock as his brother hadn't entered this room since he stormed out two days ago, but he still needed a moment to process exactly what he planned to do when he got inside.

He and his brothers had left her inside to change. Currently Felix and Santiago were pacing the halls near this corridor, having been ordered there by Aro to keep everyone away from the girl and to apprehend her if she woke up and tried to wander. She’d be waking up within the next day, probably sooner rather than later as she was a tiny little thing, but there was no telling just when that would be.

He wondered if she knew what was happening to her. Had she been listening when he and his brothers talked over her? Or had they been speaking too quickly and quietly for her to be aware of their words when she was suffering the burning agony of transformation?

Either way, after thinking about it for nearly four hours this morning, he’d decided that someone needed to try to explain what was happening to her.

If there was one thing they’d learned over the countless years ruling their species, it was that an uninformed newborn was a crazy newborn.

Not to mention that if he wanted her to remain around him to supply some of - what Aro had started referring to as - his antidepressant, he’d need to be on good terms with her. If he wasn’t and she despised his presence he couldn’t exactly expect her aura to constantly work.

It might be a permanent part of her she had no control over, it might be something she could influence at will, and it could be something that was affected majorly by her moods. Only time would say.

Taking a deep breath he opened the door to the office, ignoring how Felix and Santiago’s steps both paused at the sound, and stepped inside allowing the door to snap shut behind him.

Being in her presence again was like someone was pulling aside a veil that had been cast over his head - a veil he’d never known was there until a couple of days ago. His thoughts were suddenly clearer, his breathing came easier, and the overwhelming sadness that had consumed him so thoroughly for thousands of years and made him nearly constantly wish for the sweet release of death was no more than a dull throb in a small part of his heart.

The mourning of his mate was still very much present there, but it was a mourning all those who suffered terrible loss lived with.

It was no longer an incapacitating pain, just a very normal ache.

He felt lighter in here now than he had when he’d first encountered her, though he knew this was only because the end of her change was near. The little female looked more immortal than mortal now. He estimated she only had half a day left before she awoke.

As he took in her appearance he realized her dark hair must have been false, because now her hair was such a light blonde that it was nearly white in color.

The venom must have removed the dye.

Without thinking he crossed the room to where she was curled on her side, her rapid heartbeat the only sound as he crouched in front of her to gaze at her face.

By gods, she looked-

Well, she looked like she could be Caius’ child by flesh and not just by venom.

She gave no indication she knew he was there, so he cleared his throat before speaking.

“Can you hear me child?”

She didn’t speak, but her eyelids did flutter for a second.

He sighed, scooting closer to her and placing a hand on her shoulder before pushing her onto her back.

Instinctively she uncurled from her ball, laying flat on the ground with her arms and legs slightly apart, her eyes fluttering again as she tried to look up at the unknown person who had moved her.

Marcus caught a glimpse of red irises, shot through with streaks of light brown as the transformation continued to work to rid her of her human appearance.

Her eyes closed once more and she groaned.

“Can you speak?”

The only response he got to that was another pained groan.

Alright then.

“Try to at least tell me your name. If you can do that I'll tell you mine, and I'll try to explain what’s happening to you.”

Her thoughts were hardly coherent due to pain and her vision had been nothing more than a blur of confusing colors when she opened her eyes. She wanted to say she had a pretty solid guess what was happening to her but the very idea of speech sounded horrible right now.

It was quiet again, and she wasn’t sure if the person who’d moved her was still in the room before he spoke.

The only thing she knew was that he wasn’t the one who’d bitten her. His voice was much too deep to be the same person.

“I know it hurts. It won’t go on much longer, but I'd like to address you as something other than child.” The man repeated.

Huh, that was weirdly nice of him.

“Ann-ah.” She croaked, her voice somehow managing to be high pitched and scratchy at the same time.

“Anna?”

She groaned, hoping he knew that she was confirming what he said and he would stop asking her to try to talk.

“Okay. Anna then.” Marcus said softly. “My name is Marcus. My brother Caius was the one who did this to you. Do you remember us talking over you in this room two days ago?”

“Nuh-uh-,” Anna’s face crumpled, and he understood that asking her to make any sounds right now was most likely extremely uncomfortable.

It was probably best she didn’t even bother.

With a sigh loud enough he knew it would be audible to her, Marcus sat on the floor beside her, resting his forearms on his knees as he stared forward at Caius’ desk.

He began to talk, and without hesitation or any polite formalities he explained to her what she was becoming, and what she would likely experience once her heart stopped. He did not bother taking the time to choose careful, gentle words that would make what he was saying less shocking. There was no point in sugarcoating what her life would be like when the change ended and her pain stopped. It was inevitable, and it was going to be her reality very soon.

Anna didn’t try to talk, and he was grateful as he continued on explaining what the purpose of the Volturi coven was and how she would be expected to conform and follow instructions and directions.

It did occur to him that she might be too consumed by pain to listen, but he wasn’t going to ask her to give any input into the conversation. If she wasn’t listening? Well no one can say he hadn’t at least tried.

He talked for a long time, as there really was a lot of information he needed to give her. When he paused in explaining a rather lengthy list of rules their coven had for newborns he realized her heart rate had spiked startlingly fast, and it occurred to him he must have been sitting beside her for the better part of the day.

At least he’d covered a lot of material.

“Anna? Is the pain receding?”

It was the first thing he’d asked her directly in hours, and her answering grimace was enough of a confirmation.

“Make a fist to confirm what I’m asking you.” Marcus said sharply, getting to his feet so he would be prepared to take her down if she launched at him. “Is the pain in your chest getting worse?”

As he gazed down at her, he watched the small almost-vampire clench her right hand into a fist for a few seconds before relaxing it.

“Are your hands free of pain?”

She made a fist.

“The rest of your arms?”

Another fist.

“Your legs?”

Again, she clenched her right hand into a fist.

Marcus turned and took a few quick strides to the door, opening it and hearing Felix and Santiago pause as they paced the stone floor a few halls away.

He spoke to the empty corridor knowing both of the guards would hear him. “Santiago, go and find my brothers. Felix, with me.”

Felix appeared in the hallway within seconds, and Marcus said nothing to the guard as he went back to Anna’s side and heard Felix follow him into Caius’ office, closing the door behind him with a soft snap.

They both stared down at Anna, fully aware as her heart took off at a stallion's pace that she had minutes - if not seconds - before she woke.

“Your heart will stop shortly.” Marcus said dispassionately, “When it does you’ll want to take a deep breath and sit up as slowly as you can. I’m sure you’re aware of many scents right now, and the new one in the room is Felix. He’s here to restrain you if you… panic.”

Marcus caught Felix’s head turning to look at him from the corner of his eye, catching the significance in what he was saying.

He was only to restrain her, not harm her.

The door opened once more, and Marcus did not turn to face his brothers as they entered, watching Anna intently as she took a sharp breath, her heart going much too fast now.

Aro drifted to his side and took his hand, reading his thoughts as the four of them stared down at the small girl on the floor as the last seconds of her mortal life passed them by.

Her heart raced, and raced, and raced until there was an abnormal jolt in its pattern. They all listened as it faltered, before giving two more hard disjointed thumps. The only sound in the room was Anna’s shocked intake of air as her heart finally failed and silence reigned.

Her eyelids fluttered, and then opened fully. Two scarlet eyes stared up at the ceiling in astonishment, darting around as she took in such finely textured details she would have never been capable of noticing before with her human eyesight.

Eventually her eyes wandered to each of them individually, and she surprised them all by sitting up very slowly and carefully - an abnormally tame response for a newborn.

Marcus figured she must have been listening to him after all.

“Wow.” Anna breathed, squeezing her eyes shut for a long second before opening them again and blinking rapidly as her brain adjusted to her super-sharp sight. “This is really trippy. If all that didn’t hurt so bad I’d be sure I just took acid or something. God what the fuck.”

Aro and Caius both breathed in - clearly about to tell her off for her language - but were silenced by the withering look Marcus sent them. The language really wasn’t the top priority right now.

Her accent though, and the fact that she spoke to them in English - which they already knew she would based on what the guards who’d carried her into the castle relayed - showed that she most certainly was not from Italy. She was American. A tourist most likely.

That was good, they were used to making sure the disappearances of tourists were not linked to them.

Anna observed her hands in front of her for a long moment, taking in their pale perfection before she looked back up at them, her blonde eyebrows raised.

Caius couldn’t tame his startled look at her appearance into one of indifference before Aro glanced over at him, a smug grin on his face.

It infuriated him greatly to realize the disgusting girl looked just like him. His brothers would never let him hear the end of this.

Anna sniffed, her head turning to Marcus as she recognized his scent as the one that had been with her for hours now.

Marcus crouched so he was closer to her level, and heard as Aro did the same.

Caius and Felix both remained standing.

“This is Aro.” Marcus inclined his head toward his brother. “Do you remember what I told you about him?”

She nodded, and Aro grinned widely.

“Spectacular.” Aro said happily, holding out one hand to the newborn and ignoring the way Felix shifted at the gesture. The girl was only minutes old; she would be easy to anticipate if she had any thought of hurting him. It would be obvious on her face and in her body language long before she acted. “This might just be one of the calmest rebirths we ever had. Nice work Marcus.”

Marcus rolled his eyes. All he did was talk; the exceptionally calm way Anna was behaving was all her.

Anna noticed his expression and grinned.

She reached out a hand toward Aro - slowly, like she was a human, and showing that she was taking great care in her movements as she placed her palm in his.

It was probably good she was moving so carefully too. Felix was very tense.

It was quiet for nearly a minute before Aro laughed, patting the back of Anna’s hand affectionately before dropping it.

Aro turned his head from Anna to Caius with a sigh. “You really do need to get a sense of humor, you know. When you bit her she only moaned because she was trying to be funny in the light of her death, and when you tried to finish the groan was just because you let her wrist go and the removal of more pain than she was already experiencing was a relief. You really had me so convinced she had a biting kink.”

Aro sounded almost disappointed that she didn’t - it would have been so funny if it had been true - and Anna’s face cracked the biggest shit eating grin any of them had seen in a long time.

With that grin came a feeling of lightness and ease that the three brothers knew was not their own - an entirely involuntary action the little vampire had no control over yet - and Felix shook his head as if in confusion when the sensation hit him.

They probably should have given him some forewarning.

Marcus’ fingers found his temples where he rubbed hard, and Aro caught the motion in his peripheral vision. He knew his brother was getting a headache again - this new supply of dopamine was something he desperately needed but his brain wasn’t quite ready for it yet. With the rather scientific approach to drug addictions, human mental illness and substances, and cause and effect Aro had in his head from the truly endless supply of memories both his own and not, Aro figured the best way to introduce Marcus to his new antidepressant was slowly. Eventually she’d make him feel much more himself but without the added headache.

He was completely certain of it; they’d just have to do small doses for now.

Aro patted the pockets of his suit jacket, looking for the small hand mirror he usually carried around - because he really did care if his hair looked a mess and it didn’t bother him in the slightest when his brothers would make fun of him for always checking his appearance - before retrieving it and holding it out to Anna.

“This was a gift from my wife. Do not break it or I'll be most cross.” Aro said seriously, watching as the little blonde carefully took the mirror, opening it as if it were tissue paper and getting a first look at her new reflection.

She gave a startled little jump at first glance, stared at herself in the tiny mirror for a long moment, and surprised all of them when she carefully passed the mirror back to Aro without closing it.

“Imma just give this back, if I hold it much longer I’m definitely gonna break it. Marcus mentioned super strength, and I can feel it - that’s for sure.”

“That’s Master Marcus to you, you little-” Caius started in on her instantly, and both of Anna’s brows raised at him when her gaze found his - registering that he was the one who’d killed her - but she was saved from responding by Marcus’ annoyed sigh.

“I introduced myself to her informally, Caius,” Marcus snapped, “Now calm down or leave. I do not have the patience for this right now.”

Caius exhaled loudly out of his nose, clearly ready to start yelling, but Marcus turned away from him and back to the matter at hand.

Anna’s gaze was on him. It seemed she wasn’t very intimidated by Caius’ outbursts.

Whether that was a good thing or not… Marcus couldn’t really be sure.

“You seem to be taking this very well.” Marcus’ deep bass voice was always so quiet, and Anna found it inexplicably soothing.

His expression was impossible to read.

“Well the alternative was being yeeted into the forever sleep. And what do you expect? Oh, woe is me, I’m superhuman, immortal, and hot as fuck now. Whatever will I do?” She said the last part of her rebuttal in an overly enthusiastic, damsel-in-distress candor that would make any B movie director proud.

She should go into acting.

“We should really introduce you to the Cullens.” The black-haired Aro was speaking again, his expression very clearly amused as he stood and looked down at her. “I think you’d do wonders for their self-esteem.”

“What’s a Cullen?”

“We’ll explain that later dear.” Aro said affectionately, watching her get slowly to her feet after she saw Marcus rise to his, as if she were waiting for nonverbal cues. “But first, let’s take care of your thirst.”

He waved Felix forward, and Anna’s appraisal of the abnormally large vampire was only interrupted once as Caius let out an audible scoff before turning on his heel and storming from the office, letting the door slam behind him.

“Huh,” Anna shrugged, “You know, I get the feeling he doesn’t like me.”

Felix cracked a smile that Anna reciprocated, and Aro noticed Marcus pressing his fingers to his temples again.

“He’s just irritated we were ignoring him,” Aro said playfully, motioning to Marcus that he should leave first before following. He heard Felix telling Anna he was going to hold onto her arm and asking her to do her best not to overreact to it, and ignored the little vampire’s growl as Felix did exactly as he’d warned.

She was young, and instincts are instincts after all.

It was good she’d listened to Marcus’ lengthy explanation about her new life though, because after that initial growl Anna seemed fine with listening to Felix as he guided her along beside him.

Marcus figured he could leave Aro and Felix to chaperone Anna for now - his head really did ache - and took his leave at the first hall junction they came to, going in the opposite direction from where he knew the trio would be headed.

Aside from that, the only hiccup in their journey to the feeding chamber was Renata joining them, unable to bear the thought of Aro being unguarded with a newborn around. Her gaze traveled to Anna in clear surprise as she took in the newborn the rest of the coven had been warned about, not having expected the pretty little blonde to look so like Master Caius.

Anna was calm, and absolutely beamed when she saw Renata.

“Man if my throat didn’t burn so bad it felt like the devil just jizzed in it, I’d be fully convinced I'd died and gone to heaven.”

Aro choked as he tried to suppress his laugh, truly startled as Renata’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Felix’s laughter echoed in the hall, and Aro figured it was probably best they addressed the crude language once she was fed.

~~~~~~UwU~~~~~~

If anyone asked Anna what her first couple months as a vampire had been like, she really wouldn’t have had anything to say. Everything kinda blurred together because of how seriously intense it was adapting to being a different creature than the one she was born as.

Marcus had warned her, but it hadn’t really sunk in how truly mind-fucking it would be to have such intense emotions, temper tantrums, and thirst now that she wasn’t human.

Something she could say though, was that even though she didn’t always remember fine details of those first months through the haze of thirst and super-emotions (as she liked to refer to her new and startling emotional capacity as an immortal), she did have a very clear place in her mind where she kept her relationships. Bonding with people as an immortal was very different than it was as a human.

The way people treated and responded to her was ingrained into her brain right off the bat, and the friendships she’d formed - no matter how new and insignificant they’d seem to be to a human since it was such a short timespan in which she’d known them - became an unwavering part of her.

She liked Felix a lot. He helped her calm down and always knew exactly what to do to help when she’d have a temper tantrum. Once he even flattened her on the floor and simply sat on her back for an hour until she stopped spazzing and started listening to his breathing instructions.

She liked Demetri, who seemed to be Felix’s right hand man and was always a second set of hands when shit got out of hand - or more specifically when she got out of hand. She liked Alec and Jane, who just had such a vibe about them that she respected them right away - and Jane seemed to vibe with her too.

She really liked Lady Athenodora, who seemed to be the most modern of all the ancients and always poked fun at her asshat of a husband - and Anna’s very own sire - Caius.

But her best friend of all was Marcus - well Master Marcus in public; she only called him by his first name when they were in private or if Aro was the only one around.

It had taken her a little while to understand, even after other guards had helped her learn about her happy-aura-special-talent thing, just what Marcus’ issues were and why everyone always seemed to act as though she and him were a package deal of some sort.

Now that her initial “crazy months” were past her - the crazy months being the oh so eloquently named period of about two to four months after a newborn’s change - she had a clear understanding of what all of that meant.

She was a living, breathing, antidepressant for Marcus.

But she wasn’t like his late wife Didyme.

Anna’s happy aura did not leave Marcus walking around as if he was slightly punch drunk, nor did it have any of the guards flocking toward her as overeager romantic interests like Aro’s late sister had.

There was something peaceful and calming about her presence. Everyone just felt at ease and… good around her. No one in the coven disliked her and she couldn’t exactly find that shocking if her very presence made people feel like they just took a valium.

No one ever felt anxious or melancholy when not exposed to the little blonde’s radius of sunshine. Eleazar had been completely right when he examined her and compared her to Corin except that her talent did not have an addictive edge.

Caius and Aro were sure - Aro more so because he had been in so many people's minds - that Marcus was reacting as any depressed mortal who was being properly medicated would. She took the edge off; she was a healthy, synthetic substitute to a hard drug he’d been addicted to.

Marcus still had his days. He still had his down periods, but he was better with Anna around. There had only been a couple bouts of depression in recent months that were particularly bad for Marcus, and each time another guard had found her and told her Marcus needed her presence.

She was always quick to be at his side, just like how in her human life she was always right there whenever a friend needed her. She’d sit on the floor beside whatever chair he was slumped over in and just wait quietly until he stirred.

Marcus was very close to her for more reasons than just her happy aura. As time went on it was clear to everyone that she and Marcus were kindred spirits. They had many common hobbies and interests. Anna was much more modern and chaotic than Marcus was; this was probably because of her young age and the vastly different time periods they were born in, but it was obvious that she and Marcus were soulmates of a purely platonic nature.

It was the bane of Caius’ existence to be constantly reminded that she was a permanent presence in their coven.

He couldn’t even properly discipline her. The one time he’d tried to catch her to remove her tongue - really she could do without it for a week and learn that she needed to stop with the cheek she always gave him - the little shit had let out a shriek that hurt his eardrums and ran off down the hall.

He’d chased her all the way to the throne room, and he would have had her if she hadn’t run behind Marcus and pressed her face into his back pleading for his protection.

Marcus wouldn’t let him near her.

“She’s a kid, Caius. Grow a pair and stop overreacting to every little thing.”

“She’s twenty-two! She’s no child!” Caius had snapped back, jabbing a finger in her direction. “You enable her!”

While she certainly did get away with quite a lot of misbehaviors because of her friendship with Marcus, it didn’t mean she was completely undisciplined.

Marcus did have a tendency to smack her upside the back of the head a lot which, to be honest, was completely fair with how quick she would go from being somewhat normal to an absolute basket case that wanted to do something like coat herself in body paint and run into the square naked just to see if the sunlight would still make her a disco ball but a colorful one this time.

Which she totally wasn’t allowed to do because it was totally against the law, and secrecy was the main goal, and blah blah blah talk talk talk.

Since she’d been a little newborn-nutcase at first she wasn’t on the Volturi guards' payroll nor was she given any real jobs to do. Her main tasks were to sit still and for the love of god not break anything, and that was not as easy as it sounded.

No one knew what to do to get her to behave at first. They couldn’t use any of the normal methods of keeping vampires in line - like limb removal or just general ass beating - because Marcus had been perfectly clear harming her was off limits.

No one could exactly blame him either. Even though there were enough occasions to prove Eleazar's assurance that her happy aura seemed to be permanent - only becoming stronger when she was in a good mood and never waning even when she was temperamental or upset - they all understood that he didn’t want to risk losing her aura.

He needed her antidepressant quality, and the fact that he was genuinely fond of her as a person only reinforced that they had to have a gentler approach with her.

Aro had been the first to figure out how they could… encourage… good behavior. Anna was very extroverted and easily bored, so the first several newborn months when it was necessary for her to learn control and be exposed to as few people and emotional scenarios as possible were, figuratively, driving her nuts.

Telling her to sit still and try to calm down only made her more antsy, and Aro had figured rewards for good behavior might work best.

To everyone's immense surprise, the reward that worked best were books.

Anna’s rooms were very large and comfortable here - as were all the guards' personal living quarters - but hers lacked personal touches. Understandable, because she didn’t have any money just yet and she was prone to breaking things with her new strength, but still depersonalizing.

She wanted to paint her walls. She wanted to get bookcases and fill them with her favorite books and stuffed animals. She just wasn’t allowed to yet because she was always acting up.

So Aro made a rule: each day she went without breaking something, starting a fight, or doing something utterly ridiculous (like trying to see how far she could literally run up a wall with her super speed before gravity took its toll and sent her plummeting down onto her back) she was awarded with an item she wanted to make her rooms her own.

It wasn’t easy at first, but with the help and guidance of her friends, she’d begun to improve more and more with each passing day.

~~~~~~UwU~~~~~~

Around six months later while a small portion of the guard stood in the feeding room waiting with the ancients for Heidi to arrive with a tour group, Anna talked quietly with Renata to the left of the circular room’s doors. Both of the girls' heads were bent together, so they were unaware the brothers were watching them.

"It seems like Anna and Renata are finally starting to get along," Marcus said in a quiet aside to Aro and Caius, his voice low enough that only they could hear.

"Oh thank goodness," Aro's eyes flashed to Renata, "I've been worried about the poor dear for years. It's been so hard for her to accept you know, with the time period she was born in…"

"Wait," Caius hissed, trying not to look over at Anna. "She likes women? All those comments she's made over the last year-"

"Renata likes women." Marcus said, even though both of his brothers had known that fact for years. "Anna likes everyone."

Caius just stared, and Marcus leaned his head back on his throne muttering, “It’s about time. I’ve never liked slow burning romances, and watching the bond grow between the two of them while waiting for them to just get together already has been driving me insane.”

Aro cackled, and multiple guards turned to look toward the kings in confusion, speculating that perhaps Master Aro was finally losing his mind after all.

~~~~~~UwU~~~~~~

Months turned into years, and Anna hardly noticed it at all as time no longer meant much to her as an immortal. After the newborn year was over, and she was considerably more rational and able to focus on tasks, she’d been put to studying and testing to find herself a true ranking within the Volturi guard.

These tests did involve general education at a university level - all of the Volturi guards were expected to be literate and educated to at least PhD standards. The masters believed that with infinite time, there was no excuse for their people to not be using it to better themselves.

They couldn’t go to actual universities, but the Volturi did have guards that were responsible for schooling and conducting exams that would have made any human being have a mental breakdown of truly epic proportions.

Along with school, she had strategy training, control training, and fight training.

She'd passed all of her tests with flying colors after only 3 years, and she was the youngest elite guard the Volturi ever had because of it.

She couldn't pretend that was because she was extraordinary or anything though. It only turned out that way because Marcus had been a consistent and sometimes ruthless teacher. She'd had special treatment that no one before her had ever had before by having one of the ancients and one of the best fighters among vampires training her personally every day for two and a half years. Anyone would excel with such attention.

It was only fitting that she became Marcus’ personal guard as both his antidepressant and his greatest friend, but that didn't mean she didn't have to earn her stripes so to speak.

So he’d trained her himself to help her get there, and she earned the extremely dark gray cloak she wore just as all the others had.

The bite marks Marcus had left on her arms, neck, and torso were proof of that. He hadn't been easy on her at all, and even though some of the lessons were hard she was grateful for the skills she had now because of him.

She wanted to live a thousand years, and you didn't get to that age without surviving some serious fights over time.

One of the bites on her torso was on her left rib cage, and there was one high up on her neck and two on her right arm from the time she had insisted she was ready to take the test to become an elite guard - a test she’d most certainly not been prepared for but she was too stubborn to believe otherwise when she was only two years old - and Marcus had squared up with her to fight. She should have known then and there that the fight was going to be a lesson and a punishment, because no one ever beat Marcus, and the final elite guard qualification fight was meant to be taken against an actual elite guard and not one of the masters.

He’d handed her ass to her, and made sure each bite was a reminder that she would have been killed if the fight was real - especially the ones on her side and neck.

Her pride had been hurt, but Marcus never dismembered her out of respect for their friendship. Even though she most definitely sulked for three days following her ass whooping, she and Marcus were completely back to their normal easy friendship right after.

~~~~~~UwU~~~~~~

Anna was lying face down on the couch in her living quarters hiding under nearly fifteen blankets as she heard a light knock on the main door and Renata went to answer it.

Marcus entered the room she was in shortly after, and pulled the mountain of blankets off her in one good tug.

“Alright Anna, time to stop with the moping and get up.”

Her answering question was muffled by the pillow she had her face pressed into, "How long have I been moping exactly?"

Marcus shook back his sleeve to check his watch, "69 hours."

As he predicted from the moment he calculated the time, she snickered. "Hehe, nice. Okay, I guess I can get over it now since the hour is so perfect."

He rolled his eyes so hard Anna could almost hear it even though she wasn’t looking at him as she finally raised her head from the pillow and sat up.

"You're sure you're alright?" Marcus' expression was politely concerned for her, and she laughed.

"I had a beautiful woman around to take care of me and nurse my wounds," She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, "I'll live."

They both heard Renata choke back a mortified little squeak from the front room.

Anna laughed again, even louder this time at her mate’s still-adorable modesty. Renata acting as though that statement was embarrassing was laughable. Marcus had caught the two of them in an empty corridor one day and there had been absolutely no way to play off what they were up to.

Marcus had let out his usual god-I’d-love-someone-to-just-end-me-right-now sigh, told Anna that they needed to resume her control training, and waited completely straight-faced and quietly for Anna to get off her knees and get her face out from between Renata’s legs as Renata frantically pulled her dress back down.

Renata avoided Marcus for nearly three weeks after that, and even then it was only because Aro ordered her to stop being shy and get over it because she was expected to continue her normal duties as his guard, and that meant she’d be around Marcus constantly so she needed to push the incident from her mind.

"So we're cool?" Marcus’ words pulled Anna out of her trip down memory lane, and she beamed at him.

“Look at you, using the correct slang! Yeah, we're cool."

He reached over and mussed her hair affectionately. "Good. Now let's go to the throne room for a short while so Caius can see you're out and about before training. Caius is temperamental about your unexcused absences this week so you better get moving."

"Fine."

As they left her rooms together, Anna trailing behind Marcus by a few paces because he was just way taller than her and his strides were always bigger, she couldn’t help but complain.

“Why do you even need guards anyway? It’s not like you can’t put any one of us in the ground at a moment’s notice!”

Marcus gave a ghost of a chuckle, and she smiled at him behind his back.

~~~~~~UwU~~~~~~

When she had passed her final fight test - not with Marcus because it was deemed unfair for her to test with her trainer; there could be no question about him throwing a fight for her benefit - she fought Caius. She catapulted into him so hard she sent them both out of the fighting circle they were supposed to stay confined to. She was scolded by the guard who was refereeing the match because, while your opponent being knocked out of the circle gave you a win, throwing yourself out of the circle with them in the same move didn’t count.

“Hey man,” She’d laughed in response. “I'll sink the ship I'm working on just to kill the captain.”

The ref tried not to smile, he really did, but the sound of Aro’s laughter from somewhere off on the side broke his concentration.

Caius was frustrated as usual with her lack of professionalism, and Anna wasn’t going to deny that Caius being frustrated with her total I don’t give a fuck mentality combined with his wife’s heckling from the stand to not hurt his kin - and infuriating reminder to him that she looked like his biological kid - made him an easier opponent.

The final elite fighting test wasn’t meant to be taken with the masters, but Caius had wanted an opportunity to - how did he put it - squish her like Marcus did.

Man when she’d tripped Caius so he fell out of bound in the final five seconds of her fight… she’d had to run for her life to find Marcus before Caius killed her. He was so mad.

Marcus had found the entire thing hilarious.

~~~~~~UwU~~~~~~

Anna was sitting on the floor against some shelves in the library, reading a book and only looking up from where it rested in her lap occasionally to cast the obligatory I’m-your-guard-and-have-to-keep-an-eye-on-you glance at Marcus who was sitting in his usual chair by the fire a little ways away. Sometimes she sat in the chair across from him, sometimes she sat on the floor behind his chair and leaned against its back, and other times they both preferred a little distance from each other as they read in peace.

They were best friends and spent nearly all their time together, but they still both needed breathing room every now and again.

She was looking forward to tonight. Marcus and Aro had approved the night off for her and Renata so they could leave the castle and go on a date as long as they were both back by sunrise. Even now, almost ten years after her change, she knew that Aro and Marcus expected Renata to make sure she stayed in line.

Anna grinned down at her book, remembering the body glitter incident from last March and trying not to laugh at the memory of Caius losing his shit and Marcus’ and Aro’s absolute shock when they saw that every single inch of her skin was coated in dark pink body glitter as she stood in the sun in the town square.

The humans found her hilarious, and the sun's rays were not an issue because of all the glitter.

Marcus walloped her upside the head really hard once she was back inside. She’d only stayed out for fifteen minutes tops and was just trying to make the tourists who were there for the Saint Marcus Day festival laugh, but she was still put on probation for six months after that.

It was so worth it though. The guards got such a kick out of it and didn’t stop talking about it for a month.

Yeah… she wasn’t gonna pretend their concerns about her judgment were misplaced.

When she looked up from her book again she saw Marcus staring at her with a raised brow, obviously wondering what her smile was about, but she wasn’t able to answer before a set of steps she recognized entered the library.

Caius was clearly in a raging temper when he appeared beside Marcus, and it seemed as though her sire was angry with her by the withering look he sent her as he hissed to Marcus about making sure she was appropriately disciplined and blah blah blah.

Marcus was great at pretending as if everything Caius said was news to him.

Athenodora had come up to Anna and Marcus in the halls earlier that day and begged Anna with her hands folded in front of her to “Please for the love of god break that ugly ass vase that Caius insisted on putting on one of the art pedestals within the main hall to their room. She’d do anything - just please Anna, please.”

Marcus took a walk so he could plead his ignorance, and Anna had happily knocked that pedestal down and stepped on the shards of the baby shit green colored vase that were now all over the floor.

There was no way Caius would figure out from Marcus’ expression that he knew what had happened and had totally allowed it.

It wasn’t either of their fault that Caius had terrible taste. If the thing wasn’t so ugly Athenodora wouldn’t have begged her to break it in the first place.

“I swear to god! If you can’t keep her in line I’ll end her myself-”

“Yeah, sure, keep threatening that as if you don’t remember the whole reason she’s here in the first place is because you’re a baby.” Marcus said emotionlessly, staring down at his book and idly turning a page as if he didn’t notice Caius’ indignant splutter.

“What!? How dare-”

“You always blame Aro and me for whatever she gets up to. It’s not our fault you didn’t finish your food.”

Anna had to shove her fist into her mouth to keep from laughing.

“She was gross and slobbery and even you-”

“I would have eaten and left no crumbs.” Marcus said simply. “If she was getting a kick out of it I would have just let her enjoy her final moments without judgment.”

Anna slapped both hands over her mouth, holding her breath as she rocked with silent laughter.

“We don’t kink shame in this family Caius. It’s not our fault you’re pathetically vanilla.” Aro’s voice called from somewhere by the entrance, and Anna finally collapsed into a fit of very loud laughter. Tears would have been absolutely streaming down her face had she still been human - the evidence of their presence in her eyes were clouding her vision at that very moment. When had Aro gotten here? She had no idea but this was amazing.

“I am not-” Caius started to say only to be cut off by Marcus.

“I’m going to tell Athenodora to say “Fuck me daddy uwu” to you unironically in bed, and if you can’t keep it up we’ll all have undeniable proof that you’re a wuss.”

Anna was sure she died right then and there. Her soul must have truly left her body and ascended into the unknown at those words from Marcus’ mouth. She knew she was rubbing off on him over the years, but to this extent?

This was the most amazing moment of her life.

She wasn’t the only one laughing now. Some of the guards present in the library as well as Aro and his wife had joined in. She could barely hear Caius stomp out, her lungs feeling like they were burning because of how hard she’d nearly been screaming with laughter at Marcus’ truly impeccable timing and the absolutely bomb way he delivered that line without emoting at all. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she was as happy as she was now.

She’d lived a good life while human, and the fact that the circumstances and path of her life had led her here to Volterra with a new and huge found family… she really couldn’t believe her luck.

Some of the happiest memories of her life came from these years as an immortal, one of the most vivid being when Master Aro and Marcus allowed her to take Renata to the NYC pride parade the previous year. She’d taken a picture there of her and her mate that was displayed proudly as her phone background (there was even a printed photo of it in a frame on the mantle of Marcus' rooms, which she still considered one of her greatest achievements).

It was a selfie she’d taken as she threw an arm around Renata’s neck and dragged her close, beaming at the camera while her mate smiled in the most genuine way, a rainbow flag proudly painted on her cheek and an adorable contrast to the bi-pride flag painted on her own.

She sat up on the floor, trying to control her giggling and breathing as she turned her head to gaze at Marcus, who she found was still sitting in his chair and beaming right back.

His answering smile - a smile she knew would have never been on his face had she not been here - was all she needed to be one hundred percent positive that putting up graffiti all over Volterra had been the best decision she’d ever made in her life.

Even if it was such a pain when the brothers made her go wash it all off.

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