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#in terms of my need to defend her choices or agree with them or even understand them

kanansdume · 7 months

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It's so weird seeing people make the claim that Obi-Wan like... genuinely sees Anakin and Vader as two different people and claiming that Ahsoka and Obi-Wan are reacting to him in the same way.

Set aside the Kenobi show for a second and just look at the OT and it's pretty clear that when he's separating Anakin and Vader that he's doing so for LUKE'S sake, not his own. HE knows Anakin and Vader are the same person, you can see him improvising how to discuss this with Luke without giving that away AS IT HAPPENS. But he knows Luke does deserve to know about Anakin if he wants to, and he knows that Luke both deserves and needs to know the truth about Darth Vader and the part Obi-Wan played in it if Luke is going to start training now. But he also knows Luke ISN'T READY to hear that his father is a monstrous Sith Lord who betrayed everybody. And he's right. Luke isn't ready. He's not ready three years later, either. Luke MANAGES, but he wasn't truly ready to hear the truth on Bespin any more than he was on Tatooine.

And once he and Luke discuss the truth on Dagobah, there's absolutely no attempt to actually discuss Anakin and Vader as two separate people. He defends the lie with the "from a certain point of view" line, sure, but that's mostly him just saying "nothing I said was actually a lie, just a modified truth." He's being a little facetious here, too. But it's not him attempting to genuinely convince Luke that Anakin and Vader ARE two separate people.

And unlike Ahsoka, who appears to be legitimately deciding to just pretend Darth Vader never existed and Anakin never did anything wrong in his life ever, Obi-Wan DOES recognize it. That's the whole POINT of discussing Darth Vader with Luke, too. That's the whole point of admitting that Vader was OBI-WAN'S student when he absolutely did not have to tell Luke that at all. He knows exactly what Anakin's done and is perfectly capable of actually acknowledging it both to himself and out loud, to the point of being able to recognize his own part in the story too, he's just protecting Luke from that realization for the time being. Because Obi-Wan, of all people, knows how hard it can be to come to terms with what Anakin chose to become, and is sparing Luke from having to go through that until it's either absolutely necessary or until Luke's had more time to prepare for how to react to it.

But Ahsoka NEVER recognizes what Anakin's done. She doesn't discuss BOTH of them, she doesn't call "Vader" a traitor at any point. She never uses Vader to talk to Sabine about the choices she's making, or talks about her feelings about Vader's betrayal of the Jedi. She ONLY discusses Anakin and how great Anakin was. There's never any REAL acknowledgment, either internally or externally, that she knows what Anakin's done and become. Aside from the flickers in the vision, which could've been Anakin trying to FORCE her to acknowledge it if we interpret it as it actually being Anakin himself rather than just Ahsoka's fears made manifest. There's nothing like "He might've made choices I didn't agree with later, but he was a good master when I knew him" to show that she CAN see both sides of it. NOTHING. Even if she USED to acknowledge it before, perhaps, she's choosing not to anymore. She's choosing to act like Vader just never happened because she can't cope if she does. She HAS to only acknowledge Anakin as she knew him and act like Anakin just died a Jedi and never did anything wrong ever in his life or she'll SHATTER.

That's NOT what Obi-Wan's doing, at all.

Even if we take the Kenobi show into account, Obi-Wan's choice to say "My friend is truly dead" is out of acknowledgment of Anakin's own statements. It's pretty CLEARLY metaphorical, it's Obi-Wan recognizing that Anakin is beyond saving, that Anakin is making a choice to be THIS and nothing Obi-Wan can say or do will change that. He's choosing to grieve the person he loved rather than clinging to this idea that Anakin might change. Anakin's made his choice and all Obi-Wan can do now is move on and let him go. But he DOES know it's Anakin, he DOES acknowledge that it's Anakin. He can't do anything else, he's literally staring at Anakin's face as he says it. That line is him telling Anakin that he's washing his hands of him from now on. It's a "Fine, if you want to pretend that Anakin is dead, I'll let you, but that means I'm done with you now and you can't manipulate me through that relationship anymore."

One of these is a healthy way to handle the situation and the other is uh. Not. I'll let you take your guess as to which is which.

#star wars #ahsoka tano #obi-wan kenobi #luke skywalker #ahsoka critical #ahsoka tano critical #ahsoka show #ahsoka spoilers #kenobi show

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reviewinghiccup · 1 year

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DEFENDERS OF BERK | HTTYD SERIES | BREAKING DOWN HICCUP

Blog Post Series: Breaking Down Hiccup

Title: The Night and the Fury

Ep/Season: Episode 3, Season 2 (Defenders of Berk)

Premise:

Hiccup and gang set out on a training exercise on Dragon Island in hopes to train their stealth / combat skills without help from their dragons. Unfortunately, they run into a very, very unlikely "friend"...

IN ASTRID WE TRUST

It's no secret that the team needs some polishing. And we're hoping, Astrid's obstacles could do the trick. I love how they groaned, knowing that her tests is going to be difficult. It's very like them to do that and very like her to make things tough.

This exercise is fertile ground for individual members of the team to grow. For example:

(1) TUFFNUT TAKES ON THE RESPONSIBILITY OF WATCHING THE DRAGONS

(2) RUFFNUT GOES OUT ON HER OWN

(3) FISHLEGS, WELL, IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY FOR HIM REALLY. I.E., DOING SOMETHING HE'S SCARED TO DO

(4) HICCUP, DEALING W DAGUR

(Can we also take a moment to appreciate the little confidence boost Hiccup gives to Fishlegs? We can? Ok. Here you go.)

If you started watching RTTE without first seeing ROB/DOB, you might wonder why Dagur calls him brother. Well, to be fair, I still don't know why he does, but at least from this episode, you'll know when the supposed familial relationship began.

P/S: Look at how small & cute baby is.

It's also really cute that Hiccup tries, for the most part, to keep the peace with Dagur, though for the most part, I hate to watch them pandering to him.

THE DAGUR FIASCO

This episode is where I feel DOB kicks off. Hiccup's in a very precarious position. The last time Dagur showed up, Stoick lied that Berk was still at war w dragons and that they still killed them. For the sake of peace, Hiccup didn't have much of a choice but to play along and reassert the lie.

This episode is definitely one of my favourites, especially in terms of the Hiccup-Dagur dialogue.

It's hard to not enjoy the "bro-mance" sequences. Just look at this one:

In fact, if you only watched RTTE, you might've missed where the Dagur v Snotlout situation also began. And it might surprise you to realise, that Snotlout was very much, a fan of Monsieur Deranged here.

HICCUP'S STAND

But nothing beats, that moment when Hiccup takes his stand.

It was such a DEFINING MOMENT, because Dagur has been looking down on Hiccup for years and NOW, NOW?! He realises what a genuine threat Hiccup could be. And more importantly, how easily his pride is wounded.

I'm all here for HEROIC HICCUP. And what an artistic way to show how much Dagur underestimated him. He even underestimate his shield! Much to his lost...

Also, don't you think that it is very Captain America of Hiccup sometimes, when he's wielding the shield?

And let's not forget, Hiccup is one sassy protagonist. I mean, you know you're an enemy when he burns you.

This episode is way more significant than I realised it at first. This whole time, Alvin was Berk's only viable threat. But his beef was with Stoick, initially at least.

But now, Dagur is another. And the person he's going after is Hiccup. Dagur is Hiccup's first archenemy.

And it doesn't help that he's insane.

So, what I loved about this episode was, it heightened the stakes of the entire show AND also, showcased how Hiccup can out-wit, out-smart and challenge Dagur, who I think, must've been a pretty tough contender to command the massive armada he ends up leading.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY BARUCHEL (9.4.2023)

I know this may come off super random, but it is Jay Baruchel's birthday today. I think we can all agree that Jay is the life and soul of Hiccup. If you follow me on twitter @reviewinghiccup, you should know that I am down the rabbit hole of Jay Baruchel movies, interviews and podcasts.

And what I love so much about this guy is the respect and reverence he has for the show. I mean, he constantly praises it and not just because of his role, which he believes pales in comparison to the artists designing and working the animation, but its obvious that he's a HTTYD superfan.

I love it when an actor pays their respects to the franchise and I do enjoy his take on the work and how much the line between who Hiccup is and who he is, as a person, is blurred.

He's an eloquent speaker and tries to produce, write and direct movies now, instead of act in them. He's based in Canada.

Anyways, something interesting I learned about him was, in an interview w Tom Power, he talks about the book he wrote and what being a fan means to him. Him being a fan of hockey and how precious it can be to live within a franchise or something as massive as indulging interests. It sorta validates me a little, specially since I've dived deep into HTTYD fandom since changing careers.

youtube

And just like Hiccup, there is way more to this guy than it seems. He's funny, humble, kind and generous with his time. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and he's pretty jittery in real life too. But what kind of broke me, was finding out that even with his own father, he felt like he wasn't the kind of son his dad wanted.

Apparently, he had a complicated relationship with his dad which I believe may have bled into his work.

If you've watched enough of his interviews you'll know that he's had to support his mom and sister at 14-years-old with acting gigs because his father left and passed away when Jay was 21 following a drug overdose. Yet, he still remains so kind. I mean, his upbringing was tough, poor and difficult, yet you can still see him trudging through humbly, not wanting to draw attention to himself as much as he can help it.

In an interview article I read this morning, he explained that he wanted to continue being a good husband, son, brother, friend and I thought that was such a genuine Hiccup thing to say. He shoulders all these responsibilities and have been since he was a kid. Look, I don't know the guy personally, but from the expansive notes and recordings I've looked into, he seems pretty decent and I am such a huge fan.

As I grow older, I understand people on a different level. I accord respect so differently from how I would've years ago. And right now, I think what makes Jay Baruchel interesting is his sheer promise to do better for his family. And I think, in the absence of chiefing, running a village and saving the world, Hiccup is very much the same in that aspect too. A chief protects his own, which seems to be the mantra ringing in my head as I listen to Jay talk about his life.

You guys have no idea how much I know about this dude. I have possibly stalked him silly right now. And am a little embarrass as I admit this. Anyways, all I want is for him to succeed, in his work, life and family.

#HTTYD #DOB #Defenders of Berk #Series Review #How to Train Your Dragon #Breaking Down Hiccup #Dagur the Deranged #captain america #chris evans #happy birthday #jay baruchel #she's out of my league #alice eve #Youtube #hiccup #hiccup haddock #hiccup horrendous haddock iii

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lamemaster · 11 months

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Terms of Loving You (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Maedhros x Teleri Reader

Genre: angst and DRAMA~~

Word Count: 1.7k ish

Chapter 1

Summary: The blooms of the trees mingled and parted to mark the passing of time. No letter, no message arrived for Nelyafinwe. Stuck in an impasse, your story remained paused in Tirion's dining hall. That wretched hall.

AN: Oh boy do I love writing Maedhros in the real format of male species. Thank you all who read Chapter 1. There will be more chapters I think...? @a-contemplation-upon-flowers I hope you like this my teenage self would be very smug about her writing with the adult me.

"I find it quite unfair that my son Kanafinwe's singing and music are seen as talents beyond realms, but a princess who chooses to pursue dancing and theater is seen as indecent," none dared to look at Feanor in the eye. Even Makalaure stilled in his seat. He, too, had not stood up for you, despite being a peer. "And you, my son," Feanor addressed Maitimo, "I allowed you to attend court but not become one of them. It seems to me that you find these coots better than the rest of us. You, too, have become a part of them." A dangerous edge of challenge lingered in Feanor’s speech.

"Had she blindly agreed to everything," Feanor began, his voice laced with a mixture of scorn and respect, "I would have never accepted her as my daughter-in-law. But the Telerin princess is worthy of my respect." His words carried a fierce conviction, an acknowledgment of your strength and defiance in the face of an unjust situation.

Feanor's gaze shifted, piercing through the room as he continued, "She is more worthy than the elf who could not fulfill his marriage to my mother." His words hung in the air, a direct challenge to Finwe's own choices and actions. There was an edge to Feanor's voice, a bitter reminder of the past and the pain it had caused.

Feanor pushed back his chair and left the room in a flurry of motion.

Maitimo sat there, stunned and wounded by your words. His mind raced, trying to make sense of your objection, but he couldn't comprehend it. How could you accuse him of not loving you to the core of who you were? Hadn't he given everything he had to your relationship?

A surge of anger welled up within him, mixing with the confusion and hurt. He had cherished you, treasured you as his own, and now you stood before him, returning his gift as if it meant nothing. The ruby hairpin, once a symbol of your love, now felt like a painful reminder of your shattered bond.

He couldn't fathom why you would choose yourself over their love. Wasn't your love strong enough to overcome any obstacles? Hadn't you shared moments of joy, of intimacy, of vulnerability? He had believed your connection was unbreakable, but now it seemed fragile, ready to crumble under the weight of your disillusionment.

The bitterness of betrayal crept into his thoughts. How could you leave him like this, casting blame upon him without giving him a chance to defend himself? The rage within him grew, fueled by a sense of injustice. He felt wronged by your accusations as if his love and efforts had been disregarded and discarded.

Maitimo wanted to confront you, to demand an explanation, to make you see the depth of his love. He longed to shake you, to make you understand that he had given his all. But beneath the anger, a flicker of self-doubt lingered. Had he truly missed something? Had he failed to see your needs, your desires?

Confusion and frustration battled within him, tearing at his heart. He loved you, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing you. But he couldn't comprehend your objections, couldn't grasp why you had decided to walk away from your love.

For any relationship to work it required understanding and willingness to sacrifice, to give up… Maitimo had seen it work that way. One had to give up something to gain another. And you… you did not deem him important enough to give up your passion for him.

The blooms of the trees mingled and parted to mark the passing of time. No letter, no message arrived for Nelyafinwe. Stuck in an impasse, your story remained paused in Tirion's dining hall. That wretched hall.

Both struck by pride and ego, remained resolute. Maybe it was during those long days when the silence between you both remained, a testament to the impasse in your relationship, that rumors began to circulate about the King of Teleri searching for a son-in-law, a potential groom for the youngest Telerin princess.

'It wouldn't come to that,' restlessness and anguish filled Maitimo. Surely you would not agree to something like that. Despite whatever had happened, you still loved him as he loved you. There had always been such rumors about the royals.

Maybe that was the reason Nelyafinwe found himself attending every distant feast and festival. Just a glance or even a chance to speak to you would be enough. He was sure he could convince you. As for King Olwe… his search would end soon, and Maitimo would make sure of that. There was no one more suitable for you other than him. He was sure of that.

All he needed was a chance meeting where he would pour his heart out to you. He would show you his side of things. All that had been left unsaid and then… you would understand his intentions. His path and yours had to be the same.

Nelyafinwe's wishes came true soon. In a springtime celebration held at Taniquetil, he met you. Or more accurately, he caught a glimpse of you. Amidst a sea of giggling elleth, Maitimo caught a glimpse of you. His heart skipped a beat as he saw you, still as beautiful as ever. He wondered if you were aware of his presence or if you had yet to notice him. Hope surged within him, for in that moment, it felt as if the stars themselves had aligned to reunite the two of you.

Amidst all the signs of joy and merriment, Maitimo couldn't help but notice the subtle traces of sorrow in your eyes, the delicate curve of your smile that didn't linger as it once did, and the absence of adornment in your hair. He made a silent promise to himself to remedy it all.

Your eyes, your smile, and your hair—Maitimo vowed to bring back their radiance. He patted the ruby hairpin tucked away in his cloak, the symbol of your love. He knew he had to be the one to place it in your hair again.

You remained standing as the crowd around you dwindled. Many asked you for a dance, but you declined, and Maitimo couldn't help but smile. You would dance next to him. Only him.

Making up his mind, he stepped in your direction. With everyone lost in the merriment of the celebration, now would be the optimal time to talk to you. Whisk you away from all the noise.

"Did you fall off the horse and break your foot, or do you really just hate Taniquetil?" Maitimo stopped in his tracks. There stood in front of you an ellon, a Vanya lord, who smiled at you with an emotion that enraged Nelyafinwe. An expression that made the eldest Feanorian want to rip the ellon away from you.

You did not decline the ellon as you had done for the entire evening. "I might as well have broken my foot. You Vanya have horrid taste in music," your voice rang out, and for the first time, it was full of joy and mirth.

"How dare you, princess," with a faux-offended expression, the Vanya stepped closer to you, and Nelyafinwe clenched his fists. His head pounded as the scene unfolded in front of him. "I'm going to drag you to dance this instance," the Vanya whispered, his lips so close to your ear. Seething with fury, Nelyafinwe marched where you stood. This Vanya had to be stopped. There's no wa—"Don't threaten me with a good time, Agastya," your hand landed in the Vanya's hand, and the prince of Tirion watched as you stepped into the crowd of dancing elves.

Your steps were followed by the Vanya lord, whose hands held you close, whose smiles you returned like you had once done for him.

"This is what I wish for her," Maitimo noticed King Olwe, who stood talking to a group of Vanya and Teleri around him. "Isn't this what every parent desires? Your son and my daughter would truly complete each other," the world stopped as Maitimo heard the words fall from the Telerin king's mouth. "If not love, then may Illuvatar grace her with companionship such as this. What do you think, Vaisik?" The crowd erupted into cheers and congratulations.

Maitimo's heart sank as he listened to King Olwe's words. The realization hit him like a blow, leaving him breathless. The thought of you being with the Vanya lord, of completing each other, shattered the hope that had begun to bloom within him. His chest tightened, constricting with a mix of anger, frustration, possessiveness, and jealousy.

The sight of you dancing with the Vanya lord, your laughter and smiles filling the air, felt like a knife twisting in Maitimo's heart. Every graceful movement, every touch between you and the Vanya lord, ignited a fiery turmoil within him. He couldn't bear the thought of someone else holding you, of being the one to make you laugh and smile.

A surge of possessiveness coursed through Maitimo's veins, urging him to step in, to reclaim you as his own. He wanted to tear you away from the Vanya lord, to be the one who held you close and brought joy to your life. The jealousy that consumed him intensified, driving him to the edge of restlessness.

As he watched you, his mind filled with doubts and insecurities. What did the Vanya lord offer that he couldn't? Did he possess something Maitimo lacked? The fear of losing you, of being replaced by someone else, gnawed at him relentlessly. He couldn't fathom a future without you by his side, and the thought of you finding happiness with another fueled his restlessness.

#the silmarillion #tolkien elves #silmarillion #noldor elves #silmarillion x reader #middle earth #angst #romance #maedhros #maedhros x reader #teleri reader

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system-of-a-feather · 8 months

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I'm laughing my ass off like XD XIV was formed to deal with my dad specifically to put simply, and we were picking up our cockatiels from our parents (they visit sometimes cause of the rest of the flock lives there and its nice enrichment + we are relative neighbors and are on decent terms with our parents at this point) and while over

Our dad started his age old thing he did with my siblings when they graduated and got independent which was his need to "remind us" about important career development changes we have to do

And he went "Oh you need to start planning to take tests to get your PhD going dont forget"

And I just had the most smug grin and was like "Oh yeah, I know, I am already on it. In fact, I actually DONT need to take any tests because the GRE is not needed anymore. Additionally I already know where I want to apply, three professors from said school, and am in emails planning an informal zoom call with one of them to discuss going back for a PhD program and [details I can't share about the plan without doxxing]. I'm already on it lol"

And he was just like "oh ok well you need to get good at writing" which was his go to when I was applying to undergrad and a classic thing my mom rolled her eyes at as she knows I've been writing all the time since I was like 11.

And it sounds like a small thing, but I fought tooth and nail for my oldest sister (the piece of shit) to defend her every life choice and keep her from being disowned by the family for YEARS and I know how this dynamic goes. I know if I had any push back, it would be the start to a multi year "I think they're lazy or weak or scared or incompetent and aren't doing anything with life and" - if I agreed but didn't have a plan, he would register it as a "it is important that I remind them about every step so that they stay on task and I am being a good dad by helping"

But

BUT

The fact I not only were already on it BEFORE he even mentioned it once but already had a plan, he has no where to worry or think about to help with and he gets a clear message that "I can handle myself don't worry about it"

And THE FACT

XIV CASUALLY BROUGHT THIS UP

FOUR DAYS BEFORE MY DAD STARTED HIS THING

ENOUGH TIME FOR US TO KNOW EXACTLY OUR PLANS

I just think XIV is a psychic specifically trained to always be one leg above my dad. My dad tries to catch us off guard and get the jump on us and NOPE

NOPE BITCH

XIV IS ALREADY AHEAD OF YOU

GET GUD.

#alter: riku #alter: xiv #shitpost #HUGE w for us lets be real #phd saga

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dhaaruni · 1 year

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Hi! Hope you’re having a good day - mines been pretty shit tbh so if the tone of this is dumb I’m sorry and it’s also very long and rambling so feel free to ignore but I’m just kind of shocked to see you defend being bdsm (aka being against the sexualisation of abuse and violence particularly against women)?

Like ‘what a man does in the privacy of his own home is his own business’ has always been peoples response to mens abuse. I just don’t understand how is it not incredibly fucked to get off on abuse? How is the physical damage done when strangling/beating/hurting someone in one of the millions of ways people (men) hurt each other (women) different when done consensually? If my boyfriend hits me during sex why is it a big deal if he does it during an argument if he didn’t even hit me as hard during the argument as he did in bed? What if he strangled me in bed (something that could kill me and is one of the biggest indicators that a man will kill you) then hitting me isn’t actually that bad in comparison considering the level of harm. What is the difference between ‘after care’ and bringing your girlfriend flowers after hitting her? How does it not create the same trauma bond? A lot of people into bdsm make it very clear that they are mentally unwell (not judging, I am too just different poor coping mechanisms) and I just don’t see how being a masochist different from self harm. How is bdsm not the biggest example of rape culture? How can you recognise the patriarchy’s influence on so many womens choices but not the choice to want to submit sexuality? How are teen girls supposed to cope with their boyfriends literally wanting to beat and rape them but all the adult sources around them are telling them thats totally normal and not dangerous they just need to consent? Because teenage girls are amazing at enforcing their boundaries and totally don’t give in to peer pressure or do things they don’t want to do for male approval. How are you meant to break up with a man who you know enjoys and is capable of beating and raping you?

TLDR : I’m just trying to understand your perspective because it seems very contradictory to your other views like being against rape, violence against women, anti racist, anti incest ect. just everything that bdsm sexualises and normalises

No you're all good, I don't mind answering lol. I'm not letting this be reblogged for obvious reasons though.

I completely agree with you in that societally speaking, BDSM is constantly used to excuse violence against women and it's really fucked up to get off on hurting others, and any man that says they're into BDSM on principle should likely be in jail.

That said, I also think that in the context of consensual romantic sexual relationships between adults, it's possible to enjoy certain things on occasion that aren't super vanilla on principle. And, I'm not really talking about hookups here, I'm talking long-term relationships with people you trust lol. I'm also not giving teenagers sex advice and I think "blowjobs are empowering" feminism that young millennials and Gen Z was raised on did more harm than good to our perceptions of healthy sexuality, but the rumors are true: I, an unmarried adult woman, enjoy sex with people I romantically like and trust as people lmao.

But to clarify, I'm really not a proponent of anything truly extreme, and I'm extremely intentional about setting boundaries and if anybody crosses them, they get blocked and banned for life. I'm generally cool with trying sex positions, but both parties always have veto privileges if something is painful or uncomfortable or simply not enjoyable. And personally, anything involving metal, spanking or hitting, choking, etc. are all total no-gos for me and I will never be swayed on that. A light hand on the neck is not remotely the same thing as asphyxiation, and to even get to that point, I need to trust the guy.

And, I would never trust let alone fuck a guy who can't get off without that stuff! My point is that it's okay to try things out, whether that's basic kink or weird sex positions that you fall out of and laugh at yourselves, not what you do every single time you have sex. If a guy whines about women being boring in bed or "vanilla," kick the man to the curb lmao.

All that said, I would never tell women they're bad people if they are against stuff I'm personally comfortable with. My point is just that sex isn't like a cut and dry thing, and it's really healthy to communicate and discuss what you like and don't like with your partner.

Does that make sense lol?

#anonymous #answered #sex cw

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redpillfuturist215 · 1 year

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*In response to white male liberal on Twitter

I’m reblogging this in response to, for lack of a better term, a white male liberal. I made a small update on my African American women are terrible mothers post to reflect this. Link

https://redpillfuturistpa.tumblr.com/post/679869154187182080/african-american-women-are-terrible-mothers-much

Every once in a while, a white dude tries to either

1 Define my blackness

2 Claim my criticism of black women is racist

To put it another way, he's saying I can't think for myself

Or in other words, he wants me to be a slave – refer to Malcolm X quote

1 Recent Yale study proves the left's racist outrage is an act of projection

https://www.glennbeck.com/glenn-beck/recent-yale-study-proves-the-lefts-racist-outrage-is-an-act-of-projection

The guy, apparently a blue pilled cuck, also says…

MGTOW’s are just male feminists

Actually, esp. given that male genital mutilation along justifies men killing every enemy of men and boys, all we’re doing is walking away – refer to Paul Elam screenshot

Feminists routinely call for the castration and genocide of males, especially straight white men

Excluding abortion, women are 3-4 times more likely than men to abuse and murder children, the victim being male the majority of the time. For black women it’s even higher

My views, based on how horrible my childhood was at the hands of the single black mother combined with all the similar experiences of other black men and statistics, are apparently ignorant, according to him

Newsflash, real men, esp. after 35-ish and if red pilled, don’t care what others think of them

I'm a leftist simply saying fuck off to society lol

I don't support anything Marxist. I also don't hate America. I actually risked my life for it, 6 years and 1 combat tour in the army with no regrets

MGTOW isn't "owning" anyone

Newsflash, MGTOW aren’t here to own anyone, we’re just here to put ourselves first and again we do not care about or need society’s approval

Everyone laughs at you, says the blue pilled guy

Woman – “I’m never getting married or having kids” – society, “You go girl!”

Man – same – society … is he gay, an incel, what a loser, is something wrong with him?

Real men don't need to embrace MGTOW because real women only go for real men

You can't find a real woman and earn her loyalty

Not wanting to risk losing your peace, sanity, freedom, livelihood, finances, children etc. to the average modern American woman and a gynocentric legal system is having “weak genes”

You’re racist, an incel and you hate black women blah blah blah

Dudes worse than a feminist

Nothing but infantile, emotional outbursts and insults without providing a single lick of evidence

Meanwhile…

Facts don’t care about feelings. Nor are they racist, sexist or whatever. They just are

MGTOW’s have absolutely no problem getting laid, if they want to. Many are in fact in relationships, married and/or have children. They just might seek love overseas. Feminists are the problem, not women

A woman telling it like it is, a happily married American anti-feminist woman who also protected her sons from genital mutilation by the way

MGTOW is the safest choice for men

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12QInvCZowU

Part 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrWq5AEOpiY

2 Millions Of Men No Longer Want To Get Married, And You Can Thank The Government For That

https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/millions-of-men-no-longer-want-to-get-married-and-you-can-thank-the

3 Black women checking themselves, calling out others and defending black men – who he calls dimwits for telling the truth, circling back to my overall statement. White liberal men need to STFU and stop trying to tell us what to think

You BLACK women are embarrassing, I AGREE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pRMZ3l_9JU

Black woman says black men should avoid black women like the plague

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbwcVRYoH4k

And several screenshots, I have to reblog to add them. Link to part two here

https://redpillfuturistpa.tumblr.com/post/703381872434184192/part-two-more-screenshots-due-to-the-single-post

#leftists #liberals #feminism #mgtow #ibmor #sysbm #democrats #red pill #black women #white liberals #projection

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ainarosewood · 2 years

Text

Gifts or Curses

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast

FFxivWrite2022 Day 7 Prompt Pawn

Art thou a pawn or master of thy own fate, what hath thou wrought with thine own hand mortal?

Midgardsormr sneered at the Roegadyn before him.

He intended then to leave but ere he could dissipate she snatched him out of the air and pulled his face in front of hers green eyes flashing with anger. “Listen here dragon I am dealing with your presence but now is not the time to mock me. And I swear to all of the Twelve if what you did to the blessing is responsible for Moen’s death….”

He then felt remorse as he realized she was grieving for the fallen woman, Nay child even if thy blessing was accessible, due to thy mistress weakness, I believe the outcome would have been the same.

Nimble Rabbit stared at him for a moment longer then released him. Her shoulders still taught with anger she then slammed her fist into the stone of the wall and snarled, “Then what in seven hells use is it? Why the hell was I gifted with this damn thing if it fails me when I need it most? Why Hydaleyn!!”

Midgardsormr looked on with sorrow, wishing he could give her the answers she seeked. He himself did not truly understand what the entity intended.

His mind went unbidden to his flight from the dragon star. His seven eggs held tightly against him in that vast cold desperate to keep them warm so they might survive. Every star he passed was dead or dying. All of them had one thing in common: a small, avid creature black as night streaking in the sky and an overwhelming sense of despair and sorrow. He had seen this on the Dragon Star too as he fled. He flew as fast and as far as he could, his fiery mane extinguishing in the relentless cold of space until finally he saw a world bathed in life, in aether and he descended.

Only to be met by a strange humanoid being who was overtly powerful at the edge of a lake brimming with life and aether. Deep down he despaired for he knew if she chose to fight him he’d have not the strength to win and that would be the end for his brood.

“I beg of thee allow us to remain, mine children and I. Far we have flown and this…this is the only star not beset by death or destruction.” he called wishing that his voice were stronger but to no avail his flight had severely weakened him. He only preyed that the metal monstrosity that has brought his home star's end had not managed to fully follow him here to this glowing jewel of a star.

The entity looked upon him, compassion filling her brilliant blue gaze and she then stated, “I ask for a few deeds in return for thy sanctuary. First, thou art to defend this lake, for it is the source of all magic here on Etheirys. Thy eggs may bathe in these waters as well so they know life and strength. In return for this I ask they become stewards to this star, defending it and protecting it from harm. Finally there will come a day when a being will stand before you. She will bear my mark, a glowing shield of protection. When this occurs you will have to seal away this,” she waved a hand and a glowing ward appeared with multiple elemental crystals anchoring it. “It will not be hard to sense within her being. Once you have sealed it away, travel with her, test her, if she is strong enough your binds will release and she shall shine brighter than she did when you met my sweet spark. Agree to these terms and a life here on Etheirys shall be thine and thy children’s.”

Midgardsormr pondered her conditions, part of him wanted to refuse for she all but asked him to be in servitude in exchange for sanctuary and yet, was that too large a price to pay? Would he allow his pride to deny him and his children what seemed to be their only chance for survival? He could tell this entity truly felt for his plight there was no underlying malice, no ill intent she well and truly was offering him sanctuary in exchange for these deeds.

“If this by thy terms then I agree, for my children's sake. Though I will say, the choice to defend this star is theirs, and theirs alone to make. I will not bind them to such ere they are hatched. I Midgardsormr shall make this covenant with thee…”

“Hydaelyn '' she responded, giving him a warm smile, “ And I accept thy terms as well. Now let me welcome thee and thy children to thy new home Midgardsormr.” With that she held a stave before her and he felt aether surge from the lake surrounding him as it did he felt his essence tie into that of the lakes the source and as it did his vigor returned. Roaring in joy he then set about placing his eggs carefully in the lake itself eager for them to draw upon its strength so they would grow strong.

Midgardsormr then shook himself from his reprieve. In the years that followed he time and again wondered if it had truly been the right choice to do as Hydaelyn bid. When his eldest Bahaumt fell to the foul Alagans and then his eldest daughter Tiamat to the whispers of the cursed Ascians and then fettered by her own guilt. The day Azdaja disappeared into that voidgate leaving behind Vrtra to grieve and worry. When Ratatoskr was murdered by mortals and his son Nidhogg lost his sense to rage, grief and guilt. The pain and agony of his own death to the cursed airship. Had it truly been worth it? Was this really the last bastion of hope or had he simply cursed himself and his brood to death and despair in a different form?

These questions had danced in his mind for many ages and he felt a kinship for this Chosen of Hydaelyn for she too was granted a boon only for it to feel like a curse. Deep down he was still unsure. He knew not exactly what Hydaelyn had planned for him or for this mortal. But he did know she needed to hear something at this time.

I know not why thy mistress granted thee the blessing nor why she agreed to allow me and mine to remain on this star. But this I do know, despair will get thee no answers. Do not give into it and stay strong if for no other than thyself. Midgardsormr stated the diminutive dragon flying over and landing upon her shoulder.

Nimble Rabbit then looked at him and nodded, “Aye ye have the right o it. To despair is to give up. An I was raised te fight te the bitter end. Thank ye Midgardsormr I needed te hear that. And sorry fer grabbing ye like that.”

I am sturdier than thou thinks and I did goad thee. Never mind past is past look to the future child he stated then dissipated before she got more sentiment out of him.

#FFxivWrite2022 #oc Nimble Rabbit #roegadame #roegadyn #hellsgaurd #midgardsormr #aether data center #midgardsormr server

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i-am-a-scholar-of-magic · 2 years

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Hogwarts Students in Hexside Tracks…!

Given how wildly popular the Harry Potter books and films have been since their inception, it is common to find fans of other series that sort characters into the student houses of Hogwarts. “The Owl House” has not been immune to this trend, but I think a little inversion would be more fun.

Rather than sorting TOH characters into Hogwarts Houses, what Hexside track would characters enroll in if given the chance?

The easiest to pin down is certainly Fred and George Weasely, whose trickster personalities would fit right in with the Illusion track. Heck, there’s already a pair of prank-happy twins - Edric and Emira Blight - for them to either war with (oh the horror!) or collaborate with (even worse!)

As for other characters, it gets a little more tricky. However, a few can be narrowed down from their canonical interests.

Neville Longbottom, for example, has a canonical interest in herbology - which translates perfectly to the Plant track. Severus Snape, in a similar vein, would probably be in the Potions track due to his canon aptitude for the art. And given there is no direct counterpart to Defense Against the Dark Arts, it’s the best fit, I think.

As for other characters, it gets a little less intuitive. In my mind, the best fit for Hermione would be Abominations - she holds many common traits with Amity Blight, particularly in the start of each series. And as it is implied that such magic is rather difficult and also quite respected, it would likely draw the clever and secretly-insecure Hermione’s attention.

On the same reasoning, Draco Malfoy would also be in the Abominations track. Not only does he parallel Amity before her character development, but every named user of Abomination magic is either antagonistic (Gavin, Professor Hermonculus) or with rough edges (Amity, Darius). Not to mention the aforementioned implied respect of the track would tie to Malfoy’s elitist leanings.

A few bizarre connections would be my choices for Dumbledore and Voldemort. JK Rowling once commented that his name, an old term for bumblebee, came to her from the idea of him wandering the castle humming to himself. As such, and given that Transfiguration - the subject he taught before becoming headmaster - has no direct counterpart, the strongest correlation to me would be the Bard track. Which, of course, Raine Whispers has shown can be quite formidable.

For Voldemort, the tie-in was actually devised by my brother. He suggested the Beastkeeping track. While it may seem far-fetched at first glance, he defended it with Voldemort’s power of parselmouth … which I agree is the most solid connection besides Abominations and Infiri. A young Tom Riddle also mentions in “Half-Blood Prince” being able to make animals do what he wants.

Due to his general disinterest in schooling, Ron has very few overt skills in magic. As such, a bit of creative thinking is needed. The most relevant track to come to mind is the Construction track. This ties into his family’s economic state that would necessitate building their own possessions, but also to his propensity for Wizards’ Chess. Howe many can say the massive chess set in “Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone” doesn;t bring the track to mind?

Finally, the hero Harry is perhaps the most difficult to determine. But running down the list, I can only come up … with the Oracle track. A large part of Harry’s experiences relate to death and to visions. He has frequent dreams that glance into Voldemort’s mind and progresses into visions of the same as the books go on. He encounters the echoes of his parents and Cedric during his first duel with Voldemort in “Goblet of Fire” and is comforted by the spirits of the dead during his walk to death in “Deathly Hallows.” Not to mention, he actually came back from near-death in the same book. Finally, his parents murders were directly caused by a prophecy made about him and Voldemort, one that would continue to influence most of his early life.

There is no doubt that others have different takes on what magic track would be best suited for HP characters, and that’s okay. I just want to share mine and the logic behind them. There are certainly other interpretations, such as Hermione in Potions, but that’s one great thing about these great series’: their endless potential!

Thanks for reading! More to come …!

#the owl house #analysis #urban fantasy #theorizing #harry potter #crossover

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goldenfharry · 2 years

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So, from my understanding, you are saying that whoever believes that this is a real relationship is actually defending a very shitty boyfriend when they shouldn’t

I’ve never seen someone put it so perfectly. If you believe that this relationship is real then Harry is a really shitty boyfriend and everyone’s applauding that. This woman gets death threats to her and her kids, people are making fun of her children, people are tearing her looks down. You can see the amount of weight that she has lost a game during this PR stuff. Her weight has fluctuated a lot, she has gotten so much work done to fit the narrative of what his girlfriend look like an his girlfriendbecause his fans of her insecure. There’s nothing about this “relationship” that his goals or cute. He doesn’t defend her ever. She was accused of having an affair and there is a lot of evidence that supports that and instead of coming out and saying that it wasn’t true he put out a statement through to a source calling himself blameless. When he could’ve defended their relationship. when the GQ article came out with Jason on the cover and it was confirmed they broke up in November he did nothing to defend her, when she was served he did nothing to defend her. She is made fun of and bullied in the internet everyday and had to turn off her Instagram comments and he has done nothing to defend her. People have said she was involved with the shit that Harvey Weinstein Did and have basically Assassinated her character and he has done nothing to defend her. A lot of the shit that the fans are uncovering and talking about are defamatory things , things that could ruin her reputation and career and he has done nothing to defend her. She is constantly travelling around the world to take your time away from her kids to be with him whenever it fits his schedule and his needs and doesn’t do use the same for her whatsoever.So if you think that this relationship is real then Harry doesn’t give a fuck about her and is it a very good boyfriend and you guys are defending and shipping A fucked up relationship. If I was getting attacked by my boyfriends fans on a daily basis, then lying about me, then assassinate my character and try to ruin my career and my boyfriend didn’t stick up for me I would fucking dump him Because all the shit that’s happening to me is because of him

He doesn’t defend her because he doesn’t feel the need to. It shows that they don’t have enough proximity for him to just simply be vocal about it. Despite that, everything that is happening to her in terms of hate it’s not his fault directly. Each individual that sends hate to her is deliberately choosing to. We are all owners of our own actions. When I write about her on my blog, it’s not Harry’s fault, it’s mine. I might have a blog because of him, but I am responsible for all that I write and my actions. It’s not Harry that makes his fans hate on her. I struggle to believe that if he had a choice, he would choose for her to be this hated. But the hate, even thought I don’t agree with a lot of shit, the hate against her kids for example also comes from a place where she doesn’t protect them enough. In fact, she uses them and puts them right in the middle of the spotlight when she knows what will happen. It just shows who she is. A lot of things that you point on this ask were situations created by her, that lead to reactions. Because trust me, she wants the hate as well. It makes her talked, it makes her seen. Closing comments? Typical move for eventually pay off as the poor victim. Everything that she does has a purpose and is extremely calculated.

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starryoak · 2 years

Text

I gotta say, while I definitely agree Rhoam was shitty to Zelda and a shitty dad, I don’t really enjoy the general take of “RIP to King Rhoam but if I was there I simply would have loved my daughter and trusted her to unlock her powers” cause like… it’s definitely easy to say that from an out of universe perspective where we know what unlocks Zelda’s powers in the end and that all of the training was for nothing. But like… let’s be real here. From an in universe perspective, not only do I think most people would have behaved similarly, I think in many ways it would have been irresponsible of him to have behaved otherwise.

Now, I’m not defending his behavior interpersonally, because he clearly wasn’t great to her and often was verbally abusive. But at the same time, in terms of him forcing her to study to unlock her powers? That was honestly really the only thing he could do.

Imagine you’re him. You are a king, and you have a duty to not only your own people in your kingdom, but to every kingdom in the surrounding lands, to prevent an unknowable and seemingly insurmountable force from destroying literally the entire kingdom of Hyrule. Your daughter is the only person who can prevent this. She was meant to be taught by your wife how to do this, but her knowledge died with her, and now you are left alone to help your daughter figure out how to unlock them. If you don’t do this, the fate of the entire kingdom is doomed.

She cannot fail at this, but she is, and you have a choice between comforting her and forgiving her for this, but you cannot let her continue to fail. You cannot let her rest, you know this, because you have a duty to your kingdom and even though you love her as all fathers do, it would be irresponsible and unforgivable for you to. There simply isn’t time for you to let her rest. The Calamity approaches, everything you know has told you this. If your daughter cannot awaken her powers, untold amounts of suffering will unfold. And there is nothing you can do but push her like this. You are helpless. You fund research into these Guardians as it becomes increasingly clear what will come to pass, but every year the signs grow stronger that this disaster looms on the horizon, and yet nothing has helped. So you lash out at your daughter, berating her for failures when it is your own helplessness you really feel anger towards. But you can’t let her rest. You could apologize, easily, but there is no way you can let her rest on her studies and prayers to awaken these powers, because if you do, the Calamity could strike easily when you’re unprepared.

It is entirely understandable, not correct, but understandable why he is behaving the way he is. I honestly think it’s laughable to say that anyone would behave differently under the circumstances, that no, actually, you would magically know that all she needed was motivation to protect others, no, you would rather let thousands die just so you could say you were a good father, no, only a bad person behaves the way he does. He’s just a man doing his best under terrible circumstances and that’s all.

I honestly do think King Rhoam isn’t a bad person, and I easily believe that in the Age of Calamity timeline he can repair his relationship with Zelda and become a good father to her. It won’t make his behavior ok, but it will heal their relationship going forward. King Rhoam can be better.

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lavandermin · 3 years

Text

from sea of flowers, garden of eternity | xiao

pairing | xiao/reader

word count | 2k

genre | pwp, fluff, light angst, brief smut

note | glaze lily spirit reader, you are also in perpetual pain I’m sorry

“Xiao…” he hears your voice meekly call.

The adeptus is already on his feet before you can fully enter the room, his eyes quickly focused on you. He scans your body language diligently, looking for signs of pain or discomfort. It’s become a routine by now.

“Are you…?” His voice trails off when you shake your head apologetically. The slight strain in your smile doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

“I’m alright for now. The pains haven’t started yet. I think I’m set for another few hours, a day if I’m lucky,” you reassure him. “I just— wanted to check on you.”

Xiao gives you a blank look, one you recognize as confusion. “Check… on me…?”

“Just to see how you’re doing,” you clarify with a shy smile. As you make your way to sit on the bed, you gently pat the space next to you.

There’s a slight red upon his cheeks as he chooses to take up your invitation. The bed dips under his weight, and words do not need to be spoken to know both your minds drift briefly to past trysts that took place where you sit.

“I’m heading out to patrol the area in an hour. If you need anything at all, speak my name,” Xiao announces quietly. It’s a brief awkward silence as he rigidly sits next to you—tense almost. You answer him with a simple nod, hands absentmindedly rubbing little circles on your legs to ease the tingles of pain that slowly resurfaced.

Conversation was scarce the past few months you were placed into his watchful guard. The relationship you both harbored was a blurred line you tried not to think about too much for fear of over-complicating it.

And with your entire being, you could say you came to the unfortunate doom of falling in love with him. The emotional distance he kept oftentimes only confused you as much as your own emotions left him puzzled and a little flustered.

He kept you alive. That was the simplicity of the details Xiao was given. Perhaps it was a favor he was doing you, but he diligently carried it out with all the steadfastness of a contract bestowed onto him by the former Lord of Geo.

—

“I’m sure you are aware of the situation near Qingce Village,” Zhongli had brought up upon summoning Xiao several moons after the stirrings of a slumbering god.

Though the situation was previously dire, all was settled—Xiao knew this as a fact, for he was the one that swiftly took care of the aftermath of a dormant god’s power seeping through the earth. So, the battle hadn’t ended then…

“I was careless—“

Zhongli cut him off, carefully setting down his cup in its saucer. “On the contrary, this was in no way able to be foreseen by you. The world has a way of ending and raising new questions, just as easily as it provides answers to those who seek them.”

On the small garden table, Zhongli’s eyes trail to the glaze lily that sits in a small decorative vase. Unlike most, this lone flower is fully bloomed despite the time of day. It glows ever so slightly—weakly almost.

“You are aware that glaze lilies grow in the Qingce area, and there are a few wild outcroppings that shy away from prying eyes,” Zhongli starts.

His gloved finger reaches out to tenderly graze the petals, and at once the flower closes up. The petals take on a dullness, and visibly they start to wilt in small patches.

“The reasons are uncertain, but rumor spread around the village of a wandering ghost that followed the moon aimlessly. A spirit born of glaze lilies appeared after the battle that took place near there. It seems the power seeped deep into cracked earth among the flowerbeds.”

The young adeptus remained quiet, taking in the information. What exactly did this have to do with him, he wondered?

With a hint of apprehension, Xiao asks, “This spirit—has it taken on a malevolent nature?”

Instead of answering straight away, Zhongli wordlessly stands and makes his way back indoors. Xiao obediently follows, curious of the nature of this spirit.

“Nothing of the sort. However, these glaze lilies fell victim to the corruption of your karmic debt and at the same time were nurtured by immense adeptal power. There is a wavering balance that must be kept, for her body is as fragile as a flower’s and cannot withstand the depletion and shifts of adeptal energy.” With graceful steps, Zhongli stops before a door. “No other adeptus has successfully remained compatible with the energy she needs. So far it has only brought excruciating pain for her, and I fear she may die at this rate.”

With a silent nod, Xiao processes this information. His gloved hand is unmoving on the door handle.

“What are the terms of this contract,” Xiao silently asks, amber eyes trained on the door in front of him.

“My time has long passed to give you a new contract, Adeptus Xiao.” Zhongli chuckles fondly at the serious habits of the adeptus before him. “This is a choice I am giving you. It may take centuries for her body to adjust to the adeptal power she now harbors. If she is compatible with you, it is up to you to decide whether you supply her with your adeptal energy, otherwise she may not make it past next week.”

Xiao remains quiet for a brief moment before speaking softly, “Her body is tearing itself apart…”

“Correct.”

There’s something in that fact that stirs feelings Xiao isn’t used to in his chest. He accepts, and the first memory of you that adorns his mind is one that clenches his heart in a way he rarely experiences. The pain that twists and contorts your face as you desperately heave, body seemingly tearing itself apart in a way the naked eye cannot see.

You’re a beautiful tragedy born of moonlight and sweet soil. And in that moment when your eyes meet his, a single tear rolls down your cheek. He cannot fathom the thought of letting your life end as quickly as it began.

The door behind him clicks shut, and he takes your fragile life into his hands.

—

The lights of the house are dim—a subtle golden glow against a comforting darkness in the blanket of night. A meadow of glaze lilies surrounds the little cottage in a sea of fragrance. A prominent mark of your abode.

The little house defended by mountains is secluded, one which Zhongli sent to be made for you while your body stabilizes.

And though the exterior is tranquil, within its walls come soft pants and gasps. Xiao’s brows are knit together in concentration as he ruts against you.

“Please—Ah…nnh a–again,” you beg against your trembling body’s protests.

And he wordlessly complies, folding your legs until your knees are practically at the sides of your head. His hips pick up the pace and his thrusts become desperate, bodies covered in a sheen of sweat. The moans you let out are loud—obscene as he fills you up until you’re overflowing. The pains have long subsided, and you choose to let him overcompensate in giving you the energy that will get you by another few days.

In the serene calm of night, the tranquility is drowned out by the squelching sounds of your bodies meeting each other through desperate thrusts as both of you are sent over the edge. His name falls from your lips in a melody Xiao has grown addicted to. For the nth time that night you come undone beneath him, your essence stabilized.

There’s a swelling warmth in your chest that blooms like spring meadows as Xiao buries his face in the crook of your neck. The tips of his ears are a bright scarlet and though he tries to control it, he is still left a breathless mess as he rides out his orgasm.

“Is it…enough?” Xiao asks between pants, his cock still buried deep within you.

He’s still twitching within you and your entire body shudders with delight at the feeling.

“You… haah—can keep… going if you want,” you offer weakly. There’s a dazed look in your half-lidded eyes that makes Xiao’s chest squeeze. “‘M full but you’re still…”

Hard.

You glance down to where you two are still joined together, the view of his come leaking out of you shamelessly sending heat between your legs again. The tips of Xiao’s ears turn bright red though he tries to remain composed.

“I’ll be fine. You should get some rest to preserve the energy longer.”

He pulls out and ignores the way your eyes look away dejectedly. Before he can stand to go, your hand gently tugs him back down. Xiao allows himself to be pulled against you, his head resting in the valley of your naked chest.

“Stay with me for a bit?”

Xiao doesn’t answer right away, and your heart leaps when he lets out a little sigh and agrees.

“Alright.”

The minutes tick by in tranquil silence. Both tired bodies ignore the sticky feeling of sweat and sex. It’s a feeling you’re both quite used to by now.

“Xiao?” you start quietly after a while. He hums in response, your fingers running through his dark hair soothingly. “Can I kiss you?”

The question is soft, self-conscious almost with the fear of rejection. But you were beyond a breaking point. The feelings were welling up in your chest like a high tide as you felt him tense up at your question.

Sex was common—quite often as a means of easily transferring adeptal energy to you. And because it was a painful process to take in, you found that this method dulled the pain through the twisted pleasures and mixed sensations.

But that’s all it was— a means to keep you alive. You could never say there was a time Xiao kissed you and he always showed restraint in touching your body more than necessary. His bodily needs were never foremost on his mind and he would never tell you how his hands ached to roam your body, how this arrangement became an illusion of a different reality he couldn’t have. And so he locked away his emotions for his own sake.

Xiao lifted his face from your chest, his golden eyes wide with momentary confusion—perhaps even shock. And your face… those wonderful sparkling eyes that glistened with glossy tears on the brink of rolling down your face. He wished he wasn’t the reason you were crying.

In an instant he propped himself up on his forearms, feeling you lightly tremble beneath him from holding back the urge to cry. A quiet hiccup left you as you were overwhelmed by bottled up feelings all at once, his thumb gently brushing your tears away.

“Why?” was all he asked.

Though it was a genuine question, his actions remained tender and calmed the anxiety that gripped your naive heart.

“Because I love you—because I think I love you.”

Quietly you hiccuped beneath him and Xiao gently rested his forehead against yours, eyes closed.

“Then love me if it makes you happy,” he responds softly. The tears that twinkle down your face like falling stars are gently kissed away by his soft lips. “I’m with you until the day I die, and if loving me makes living less painful for you then use me as an anchor to reality.”

Your soft crying is hushed as Xiao presses a tender kiss to your lips. It’s short and just enough to bloom your heart with newfound emotions you had yet to experience. Perhaps you reminded the adeptus of himself in a simpler time—naive, innocent. For that, he took pity on you, and also fell deeply in love with you though he would not know it for a long time.

Simply put, he wouldn’t allow himself to know it.

The flowers that surround the small house glow and dance in the night breeze. They bloom with your newfound knowledge—heartache.

#adeptus xiao #xiao/reader #xiao x reader #zhongli #xiao just trying his best #genshin xiao #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #genshin #light smut #smut #pwp #fluff #drabble collection: coffee break for two #drabble #soft #the concept of this is hor knee I’m so sorry

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jackoshadows · 2 years

Text

Favorite Jon Snow quotes. There are so many!

Different Roads sometimes leads to the same castle.

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We look up at the same stars, and see such different things.

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"The more you give a King, the more he wants. We are walking on a bridge of ice with an abyss on either side. Pleasing one king is difficult enough. Pleasing two is hardly possible."

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Are you certain that I have not forgotten some? The ones about the king and his laws, and how we must defend every foot of his land and cling to each ruined castle? How does that part go? [...] I am the shield that guards the realms of men. Those are the words. So tell me, my lord -- what are these wildlings, if not men?

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They know nothing. And worse, they refuse to learn

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“A chain needs all sorts of metals, and a land needs all sorts of people.The Night’s Watch needs all sorts too. Why else have rangers and stewards and builders? Lord Randyll couldn’t make Sam a warrior, and Ser Alliser won’t either. You can’t hammer tin into iron, no matter how hard you beat it, but that doesn’t mean tin is useless. Why shouldn’t Sam be a steward?”

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... a road of no particular promise, yet the sight of it filled Jon Snow with a vast longing. Winterfell was down that road, and beyond it Riverrun and King's Landing and the Eyrie and so many other places; Casterly Rock, the Isle of Faces, the Red Mountains of Dorne, the hundred islands of Braavos in the sea, the smoking ruins of old Valyria. All the places that Jon would never see. The world was down that road... and he was here.

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Sometimes there is no happy choice, Sam, only one less grievous than the others

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It had been so long since he had last seen Arya. What would she look like now? Would he even know her? Arya Underfoot. Her face was always dirty. Would she still have that little sword he'd had Mikken forge for her? Stick them with the pointy end, he'd told her. Wisdom for her wedding night if half of what he heard of Ramsay Snow was true. Bring her home, Mance. I saved your son from Melisandre, and now I am about to save four thousand of your free folk.You owe me this one little girl.

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“They will garb your brother Robb in silks, satins, and velvets of a hundred different colors, while you live and die in black ringmail. He will wed some beautiful princess and father sons on her. You’ll have no wife, nor will you ever hold a child of your own blood in your arms. Robb will rule, you will serve. Men will call you a crow. Him they’ll call `Your Grace’. Singers will praise every little thing he does, while your greatest deeds all go unsung. Tell me that none of this troubles you, Jon… and I’ll name you a liar, and know I have the truth of it.”

Jon drew himself up, taut as a bowstring “And if it did trouble me, what might I do, bastard as I am?”

“What will you do?” Mormont asked. “Bastard as you are.”

“Be troubled,” said Jon, “and keep my vows.”

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It took the better part of an hour before the impossible became possible, and another hour before they could agree on terms. The flagon of mulled wine that Satin delivered helped them settle the more nettlesome points. By the time Jon Snow signed the parchment the Braavosi drew up, both of them were half-drunk and quite unhappy. Jon thought that a good sign.

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The roar was all he could have hoped for, the tumult so loud that the two old shields tumbled from the walls. Soren Shieldbreaker was on his feet, the Wanderer as well. Toregg the Tall, Brogg, Harle the Huntsman and Harle the Handsome both, Ygon Oldfather, Blind Doss, even the Great Walrus. I have my swords, thought Jon Snow, and we are coming for you, Bastard.

#Jon Snow #quotes #asoiaf #JonSnowMonth2022

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gch1995 · 2 years

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I decided to make my own post about this topic because I really don’t want to get into any arguments with Obi-Wan and Jedi Council apologists on a thread of theirs defending the whole argument of “Well, if Anakin hated the Jedi Order so much he could have just left at any time. He stayed because he was greedy.”

I do agree with @drygingergood that that argument of “greed” being Anakin’s fatal flaw is disrespectful and myopic.

As much as I do appreciate George Lucas, though, I think the real problem is that he clearly could portray Anakin Skywalker as a sympathetic character very well, but he never really empathized with his circumstances and his perspective.

For him, all of awful things he had Anakin go through were just window dressings to create a compelling backstory and motivations for a tragic hero/tragic villain.

However, I don’t think he actually considered the story from the perspective of Anakin, a victim of lifelong systematic abuse and oppression, who had limited to nonexistent options for healthy support and safe escape until he finally just gave up trying to fight it and became a perpetrator. He, unfortunately, just like much of this fandom, sees that end resulted in him becoming Vader, regardless of the circumstances, but I don’t think George Lucas ever fully understood why that happened. He doesn’t fully understand that “greed” is a disrespectful description of Anakin’s motivations in the series when we see that his choices between right and wrong were always narrowed down to choosing between shitty and shittier in the narrative.

It’s also important to note that after Anakin’s mother died, he had no one and nothing outside of the Jedi Order and Republic, and both Padme, who was pregnant with their kids, and Obi Wan, who was the closest thing to a parent and friend he had in the Order, both made Anakin feel pressured to stay with the Jedi Order before the war started, even though he initially tried to say that he wanted to leave to both of them.

Anakin’s fatal flaw was really that he was just too afraid to stand up for himself and take a risk to do what he knew was right when the odds were always against him since he came from the bottom of the food chain. He just kept trying to completely defer his personal beliefs, his moral integrity, and his own happiness and needs to hold onto any sort of love, protection, and security in his life until his loyalties, trust and sanity became fractured by the time we got to the end of RotS because he kept trying to put trust into Obi-Wan, Padme, and Palpatine for guidance of what to do. The biggest problem was that he had no trust in his own feelings, morals, and integrity anymore because for most of his life as a Jedi and a slave trying to be brave enough to stick up for himself, trying to be considerate, trying to be kind, trying to be selfless, and trying to be a hero for the underdogs never seemed to be enough to help him break the cycle of systematic abuse, crime, and oppression he was constantly a part of. Initially, he tried to stand up for himself to do what was right, to express his feelings in an attempt to reach out for emotional support, but he kept getting shut down as “greedy,” “selfish,” “dangerous,” and/or “wrong” by Obi Wan and the Jedi Council for it. While Padme did love Anakin and he loved her, she kind of lived too much in her own naive bubble of privilege as a wealthy Senator her whole life to truly understand where Anakin was coming from when he did try to tell her about his mother, his life on Tattooine as a slave, and the fact that he wanted to leave the Jedi Order to stop living in secret.

Additionally, the Jedi Council had attempted to overthrow the head of their government without the Senate’s knowledge after suspecting he was a Sith Lord, so even if Anakin picked Mace Windu over Palpatine in that moment, Anakin’s family was seemingly still in danger, he, Mace, and the Jedi Council were facing executions and/or long term imprisonments for committing treason against the Senate, and the entire Jedi Order probably would have been shut down. If Yoda and the other Council members had told the rest of the Senate about wanting to prosecute Palpatine/try him for being a Sith Lord because they had found reasons to suspect him within the first 14 years he was in office, then it would be one thing for the Council to arrest him and have the Council try him.

However, Yoda deliberately wanted the rest of the Senate not to know what they were up to with Palpatine. The rest of the Council obeyed him because they were too afraid to say no to him.

I’m not saying all of this to absolve Anakin of his crimes. He absolutely did have an arrogant and selfish streak when the odds were against him under pressure because he was too afraid to do the right thing. He absolutely did become addicted to the dark side of the force, and he absolutely did stop trying to fight it after going dark because he was too afraid to do the right thing when the odds were against him, no matter what he did. No one forced him to turn on the Jedi Order. He was an adult. He did become a coward. Regardless of the lifelong shitty circumstances, limited to nonexistent safe options for healthy support and escape from those toxic environments, and poor emotional/mental health, he does still hold at least partial culpability for all of those awful crimes he committed because he did ultimately always know that they were morally wrong and eventually he did stop trying to be better after going dark until Luke came along and reminded him that he had a choice to be better that mattered.

However, I don’t think it’s fair to blame it all on him for going dark and remaining that way for the next 23 years when his entire life was a conga line of limited to nonexistent options for healthy support and safe escape routes from the systematic abusive authority, emotional neglect, grooming, and oppression in slavery, poverty, the Jedi, and the Sith. You can’t deny that he would be a better person if the odds weren’t constantly stacked against Anakin and his options between right and wrong weren’t constantly down to him having to choose between shitty and shittier.

It’s always going to be harder to do the right thing than the wrong thing, but it shouldn’t always have to come down to having to choose between you and/or your loved ones being lonely and/or in life threatening danger to do the right thing, while doing the morally wrong thing could guarantee safety of them and self. It’s not fair to often feel pressured to have to choose between potentially losing your support system to do what’s best by for yourself by stepping away from them because you know they are toxic to one or both of yours emotional/mental/physical health versus staying with that toxic relationship and/or environment to please them, protect them, protect yourself, and hold onto, because as toxic as you may realize they are to you and others around you, they are still the only sense of significant identity, purpose, physical safety, and support you have and know well enough to hang on to for yourself and/or loved ones.

I’m not saying that Padme or Obi Wan ultimately intended for Anakin to feel like they only valued him for his worth as a Jedi, or that they are directly responsible for him turning on them and the Jedi Order as an adult. That’s on Anakin for being selfish in his desperation, fear, and blind anger, and blind paranoia after going dark. Also, Palpatine and Yoda since one of them was the Sith Lord behind Order 66 in the position of Chancellor and could have decided not to do that at any time, while the other was the head of the Jedi Order for 900+ years.

Still, I think Obi Wan and Padme were too afraid and too desperate to hold on to their own reputations and security enough to be considerate to Anakin’s personal feelings and needs when he tried to reach out to them, much like he became when faced with their potential abandonment as time passed, particularly after going dark, because the pressure to uphold those positions were higher.

Obi Wan knew no sort of life outside of the Jedi Order and had no sort of connections outside of it. Padme was a relatively wealthy woman as a Senator of the Republic, she came from a relatively wealthy family, but since she got married to a Jedi and got pregnant in secret with their kids, that meant that their entire income lay on her position as a Senator, while Anakin’s security lay on his reputation as a Jedi knight. If he “just left,” Obi Wan and the Jedi Council wouldn’t emotionally support, show him how to write a resume, or show him how to find another job. They would label him as a “disgrace,” “a coward,” and/or a “lost” for leaving them before the war and not fulfilling Qui Gonn’s prophecy of him to destroy the Sith. They would pin the blame on him for leaving behind his men to die in war. They wouldn’t be quiet about it either.

Obi-Wan actually disregarded Yoda’s advice and took on Anakin Skywalker as a padawan to honor his master Qui Gonn and since he actually did something that out of character by disregarding his belief that it would be a bad idea. He’s constantly terrified that if he isn’t kissing Yoda’s ass, Anakin isn’t being a “perfect Jedi,” according to Yoda’s standards, and Anakin isn’t willing to stay with the Order,then that means he risked his reputation as the teacher’s pet for nothing, Qui Gonn died for nothing, and he failed as a person because he wasn’t a good Jedi.

There was also that whole “chosen one destined to destroy the Sith” label that got put on Anakin by Qui Gonn, Obi Wan, and the Jedi Council. Essentially, that became a guilt trip to make Anakin feel obligated to stay with the Order to save them all that Obi Wan, Yoda, and the Council used over the next 14 years. Anakin felt pressured to stay out of guilt because he constantly got told that his power in the Jedi was the only thing that could end the war. So, he contemplates leaving the Order as a knight, but at the back of his mind is this constant feeling that if he does, everyone in the Jedi Order he grew close to will die in the war because he wasn’t there to destroy the Sith. Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the Council constantly reminded him that he should feel obligated to stay with the Order to help destroy the Sith in war. That label became more of a curse than a blessing for Anakin soon enough as he got older and grew to resent the Jedi’s exceedingly emotionally/individually oppressive way of life.

I see so many fans saying that the “chosen one” title went to Anakin’s head, but it really didn’t before going dark, and even then, he only ever wanted to rule the world with someone else he loved to defer to and guide him, so he could be second in command to them, while they went about fixing the galaxy like a benevolent dictator/autocrat. Ultimately, he knew that the way that Palpatine was using him to recreate the system didn’t feel right as Vader, but he was too afraid to take down Sidious, his abuser/oppressor himself, and didn’t believe he had any other options left but to serve him after going dark since he hated himself and the Jedi dogma taught him to believe that there was no way back to the light after going dark. Thus, eventually he picked up that whole “greater good” excuse the Jedi Order and Sidious taught him when he was growing up to justify himself doing terrible things out of fear for security and order because they were easier than taking a risk to do the right thing.

You have to remember that the “democracy” Anakin grew up with in the Republic was a very classist, hypocritical, and self-serving one that really only benefitted the middle class and upper class elite of their Republic in the inner rims and also elected monarchs to rule. It was more like a semi-constitutional monarchy, a people’s democracy dictatorship, or a liberal dictatorship that only benefitted the rights of the upper and middle classes of their Republic, rather than a true democracy in the prequels. I’m pretty sure that Anakin wanted something similar. He just wanted for the protection of the underdogs from the lower classes and outer rims where he and his people were from to also be included in the Republic’s interests of protecting, too. He wanted for Yoda to give the Jedi more freedom to live their own lives like the middle class and upper class elite, too. They were a military branch of the government that risked their lives to serve the Republic every day, so why shouldn’t they have personal freedoms and rights, too?

Anakin wanted for someone with enough good intentions, enough power, and enough political wisdom to do something to put a stop to the inequalities in class, privilege, and wealth between the upper-class, the middle class, the lower class, the Republic, and the inner rims. Eventually, by the time we got to third act of Revenge of the Sith, it became more of a broken and deluded cry for help to gain freedom from Darth Sidious/Palpatine from any family member or friend he believed was kindhearted and wise enough to help him take down his abuser/oppressor after realizing he sucked as a ruler and person, but felt too afraid to stand up to himself now that he’d pledged himself to him and had gone down this dark path, especially after getting burned up and put in that suit, which severely compromised his strength. Like, he even asked Luke to help him overthrow the Emperor, so they could rule the galaxy together in a scenario that I imagine he would imagine as Luke ruling the galaxy as benevolent autocrats after helping him overthrow the Emperor, while he was his son’s loyal enforcer/attack dog.

However, you can’t create a better system after mass murdering the previous system to forcibly overthrow them, including innocent kids in one of them. You can’t just live in peace, pretend that all that awful stuff never happened, and plot to overthrow the current asshole of a dictator to try to rule in their place as a more benevolent one after doing horrendous things to get there out of fear. You can’t just expect to end corruption, inequality, and oppression in the world by perpetuating a cycle of it out of fear, and then claim it “was all for the greater good.”

We see this mindset magnified in Anakin’s fall to the dark side as Darth Vader, but really, it’s the same mindset that led to the systematic corruption, failures, and ultimate downfalls of the overall Jedi Order and Republic systems in the prequels. However, since Anakin is our protagonist who we start with from childhood in the Jedi in the prequels, let’s look at how and why he eventually comes to embrace that whole “greater good” mentality as an excuse for his crimes. At first, he tries to stick up for himself and refuse when Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the Jedi Council ask for him to do things that he knows are wrong “for the greater good” as a little boy.

As a young adult padawan and Jedi Knight, we see Anakin still trying to stick up for himself a bit when he knows that Obi-Wan, Yoda, the Jedi Council, and Sidious ask him to join them or do something wrong at first, but he gives in and follows them way too easily with the realization that, though these authority figures might be telling him that these horrible things they’re asking him to do for them is helping “the greater good,” it really isn’t. It’s about control and/or fear on their part to make better choices that are riskier when the odds are against them, and fear on his part over potentially losing the ones he loves, being abandoned, being cast out, and/or having nothing. Anakin admits this to himself and others honestly.

Then, by the third act of RotS after getting high on the dark side and committing all those horrible crimes that he realizes he can’t take back against the Jedi and the Republic by betraying them to join Sidious in his fear of abandonment, he seems to be at ease doing what Obi-Wan, Yoda, the Jedi Council, and Sidious taught him to do for years to ease his conscience over doing “necessary” terrible things out of fear that are easier by telling himself, Padme, and Obi-Wan that “this was all to protect you and to bring peace and security to my new Empire.”

Of course, the high of the dark side doesn’t last consistently, though. After he gets burned alive and put into that suit, Anakin can feel the weight of the guilt for committing mass murder for Palpatine to try to avoid losing Pademe, becoming addicted to that power in the heat of the moment afterwards because he was angry and afraid, and hurting and pushing away Padme and Obi-Wan, especially after finding out his blind rage force choke of Padme on Mustafar had a hand in killing her. As Vader, we see in the OT movies with Luke, and in the comics and novelizations, his delusions that he’s doing all these terrible things “for the greater good” alternates back-and-forth with acceptance and guilt over the the truth that he’s become a monster who’d doing all of these horrible things because he is afraid since the odds are against him for safely making better choices anyway, especially now that his physical strength to easily be able to stop Sidious with his power in the force has been compromised after getting burned up and being put in that clunky and painful life support suit.

The planet on the outer rims where he grew up of Tattooine wasn’t the Republic’s or Jedi Order’s concern. The Republic even asked for the Jedi to help out slavers on the outer rims, Yoda was too afraid of losing his power to say no, and everyone else in the Order was usually too afraid to say no to him. Even before Palpatine was elected as Chancellor of the Senate, the previous heads of the Republic governments had been allowing for the Jedi Order to be run like a dictatorial cult of soldiers, who had no real rights of freedom, and who got separated from their families from infancy to childhood, by that green gremlin Yoda for hundreds of years now. Yoda implemented a system that involved using the clones as slaves for warfare in the Jedi. If a Jedi left, they were either left for dead without support and/or publicly character assassinated by Yoda and the Jedi Council as being “lost,” “selfish,” or “wrong” for getting tired of Yoda’s and the Council’s way of life.

Anakin had moments of arrogance and boastfulness in the control and expertise he had over his skills as a warrior, a force wielder, and space pilot, particularly when he high on the dark side and lost his marbles. That was one of his flaws, though many Jedi of his time had an arrogant and boastful streak, too, including his guardian, Obi Wan. However, before going dark, he never wanted power to rule the galaxy. He wanted it for security of self and/or loved ones as someone who had nothing else to guarantee safety, and to create equality in the galaxy after growing up as a victim at the bottom of the food chain in a self-serving and hypocritical “democracy” that allowed for the Jedi to be run like a dictatorship “for the greater good” by the green frog and condoned slavery on his planet and the outer rims. His arrogance and desire for power was never about wanting blind admiration, devotion, and total control. He wanted it, so that he could be safe and serve a benevolent autocrat who created equality in the galaxy. Obviously, Palpatine was not that. He was a cruel dictator, who was grooming him, but Anakin didn’t realize that until the end of RotS, and even after that Palpatine was still grooming him and Anakin didn’t believe he had or deserved much else of a choice, especially after being put in that suit.

If Anakin left the Jedi to go to Naboo with Padme before the war started, she would be the one solely responsible for supporting their family. She already was financially supporting them. If Anakin left the Order after marrying her, financially he could be well off, but his public reputation would be getting ruined, Padme grew up with the Jedi Order being hailed as this amazing organization/military branch of the Republic government she served and grew up in, and, though she was kindhearted, Padme had become a little arrogant and selfish from her privilege when bad things in the galaxy didn’t affect her, her people, or people she cared about.

That’s the whole tragedy of Anakin’s story. Ultimately, his bad choices are on him as an adult, regardless of the circumstances, not Padme, Obi-Wan, or the entire Order, but, no matter what he did, right or wrong, his choices from beginning to end were always coming down to picking between shitty and shittier, dangerous vs safe, risking a huge loss of any sort of companionship, identity, love, and/or significance that offered him a measure of security in the broken Jedi, Republic, Empire, and/or Sith by trying to leave them vs conforming with, obeying, and staying with them to find some sort of catharsis for his feelings and hold onto whatever companionship, love, and safety he could find within them, even if it meant feeling obligated to sacrifice his own happiness, safety, and sanity to be with them in an environment and/or relationship with them that was toxic to both himself and those around him.

It’s not as simple as Anakin was a “narcissistic, spoiled, and entitled brat who wanted power obsessively to be admired, in control, and at the top of the food chain.” It’s more like Anakin’s ability to do the right thing was always deeply compromised by a severe lack of privilege for guaranteed companionship and safety of self and/or loved ones in such consistently terrible environments under abusive, hypocritical, and oppressive authority figures (Watto, Obi-Wan and the Jedi Council, and Sidious), and eventually he stopped trying to fight it and ended up perpetuating that systematic abuse, moral hypocrisy, and oppression himself, then joined the worse space cult when the Jedi Council offered no help again over fear of another loved one dying to try hold onto what little love he had, and/or survive because healthy support was very limited and escape was never this safe option for him.

Sadly, I don’t think most of this fandom or even George Lucas fully understood that was the story being written.

#no anakin/vader is not entirely innocent for his crimes regardless of the mitigating factors but neither are the jedi in spite of theirs #if anything it was fear and deference to corrupt authority figures with limited options #meta: anakin #anakin skywalker #darth vader #star wars #star wars prequels #ot star wars #anti jedi apologists #yoda critical #jedi council critical

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bbangsoonie · 3 years

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backdoor

member: jaehyun (hyunjae) genre: fluff (requested) word count: 3,120 synopsis: jaehyun has always been your rival. so when he bets that he could make you fall for him, you can’t back down and say no. but when you’re too confident, you let your guard done.

backdoor: a term used in league of legends; when you secretly attack the enemy’s nexus while they’re focused elsewhere. this is done by sneaking into the enemy base and taking them by surprise

Lee Jaehyun was the cockiest and most annoying person you had ever met. You would think that growing up as childhood “friends” would make you two close. After all, your parents were best friends with his parents.

But no, you and Jaehyun had been rivals ever since you were both enrolled into a tennis club as young children. You always had the upper hand until he suddenly hit puberty and became a lot more physically fit than you. Once he started beating you in nearly every match, he became your #1 enemy.

He had always been super competitive and made everything into a contest. Who could run to the car faster? Who could receive a higher score on the exam? Who could make the other lose their temper first?

With high school came his sudden increase in popularity. It inflamed his ego to the max, which irked you to no end.

Every Valentine’s Day, he would brag about all the gifts and confessions he received. And every White Day, he would compare the numbers to yours.

He was loved by the girls for being a casanova and admired by the guys for his athleticism and gaming skills.

You, on the other hand, could not comprehend why the entire school was infatuated with him. You had your eyes on someone else. Kim Sunwoo. He had caught your attention since the first day of freshman year. Now, as a senior, you were about to graduate without ever making a move.

You were too shy to approach him. You couldn’t even find a common interest to naturally bring up and talk about. All he ever did was make music and play League of Legends.

So you found Jacob during lunch and practically begged him to teach you how to play the game.

“Please please please?” you whined.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I can’t,” Jacob said apologetically. “I have basketball practice every day. Besides, I haven’t played in almost half a year. I’m rusty.”

“I just need you to teach me the basics!”

“I’m sorry, Y/n.”

Sighing, you gave up and slumped in your seat. You poked at the food in front of you with a pout.

“Did I just hear the Y/n ask Jacob to teach her how to play League?” Jaehyun suddenly popped out of nowhere.

“Fuck off,” you rolled your eyes at him as you set your chopsticks down.

“You know, I’m the highest ranked player in our school,” he said smugly. You wanted nothing but to wipe that look off his face.

You ignored him and took a sip of your water. Jacob awkwardly glanced between you and Jaehyun as he tightly held onto his spoon. He could sense another argument coming.

“I can teach you if you want,” Jaehyun offered.

“I don’t want,” you coldly rejected.

“Of course you don’t,” he scoffed. “You’re too afraid to spend time with me because you might realize that you actually like me.”

“Oh please. There are a few things in this world that will never change. The sun rising from the east, the sun setting in the west, and my hatred for you,” you said.

“Well if you hate me that much, then let’s make a bet out of it. The first one to fall for the other’s seducing loses,” he smirked.

Still stuck in the middle, Jacob shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“You don’t have to accept the challenge if you’re not confident,” Jaehyun shrugged, making you narrow your eyes at him.

A list of pros and cons was being made in your head as you contemplated the crazy suggestion. The logical part of your mind wanted nothing to do with him. You knew that stooping down to his level was childish. You had much better things to do than go along with his bet.

The competitive part of you, however, couldn’t bear to back down. You would have to deal with him flaunting over you and calling you a coward if you didn’t agree to this.

So you disregarded all rationale and crossed your arms with a curt “deal”.

The walk to school the next day was full of complaints as you whined about falling for Jaehyun’s trick and Kevin chided you for it.

“I don’t know why you thought it would be a good idea,” Kevin tsk-ed. “He makes your blood boil within seconds. How are you going to hold back from tearing him apart? Never mind flirt with him.”

“I’m already regretting it,” you groaned.

“Speaking of the devil,” Jacob coughed, nudging you.

You looked up to see Jaehyun waiting by the school gates. He was holding a bouquet of flowers and every girl who passed by whispered to their friend about it. To everyone’s shock, he walked up to you and handed you the flowers.

“So it starts now?” you stared at the roses. “You call this seducing?”

“I call this romantic,” he grinned.

Rolling your eyes, you handed Kevin the bouquet and walked away. He awkwardly chased after you as Jacob offered Jaehyun a pat on the shoulder.

“She doesn’t like roses. She thinks they’re cliché,” he said before leaving.

When the dismissal bell rang, Jaehyun was waiting for you outside of your classroom. Hushed whispers erupted again as your classmates tried to figure out why he was being so affectionate to you. It was no secret that you two never got along.

After gathering your belongings, you grabbed your backpack and left without sparing him another glance. Unfazed, he easily caught up to you and slung his arm around your shoulder.

“What? Are you wavering already?” he teased.

“Not a chance,” you scoffed.

“As a part of the bet, I can teach you how to play League. That’s what you wanted anyway. Think of it as killing two birds with one stone.”

You ignored all the incredulous looks you received with Jaehyun by your side as you left the school grounds. You didn’t realize that you weren’t headed home until you stopped in front of a PC Room. Puzzled, you stared at the building in front of you.

“I promised that I’d teach you. Our first lesson starts today,” he said as he dragged you inside.

Your brain was bombarded with a whole new world. You struggled to keep up as he rambled on about bots and gold. He was showing you a demonstration by playing a round but your inability to multitask made it difficult to understand what was going on on the screen.

“My main is Jace and I usually go jungle,” he explained and you pretended to understand by nodding. At your silence, he eyed your expression and chuckled.

“So is Sunwoo the reason why you’re suddenly interested in League?” he asked, catching you off guard.

“How did you know?” you gaped.

“You thought I wouldn’t notice your little crush on him?” he raised a brow.

You were taken aback to say the least. You didn’t think he paid much attention to you other than when he was bored and wanted to mess around.

“Anyway, he usually goes mid as Zed,” he shrugged. “To be honest, the best way for you to bond with him through the game is for him to play ADC and for you to be support.”

“As if I know what all that means,” you frowned.

At that moment, his character died and the screen went gray. You snickered, earning a light flick on your forehead.

“ADC stands for attack damage carry. It’s the champion who usually does the most attacking. They go in the bottom lane with whoever’s playing support. Supports are supposed to aid and heal the ADC. So you would follow and communicate with them.”

“Sounds complicated,” your nose wrinkled in distaste.

“Sounds fun,” he corrected before turning back to the computer.

The next day, Jaehyun surprised you with a small potted plant in front of the gates.

“Since you don’t like roses, I got you a succulent instead,” he said proudly.

Next to you, Kevin giggled and Jacob let out a soft “aww”. Slightly touched yet also slightly embarrassed, you took it from him in a hurry and stormed off.

“You’re slowly getting there,” Jacob laughed as Kevin shot him a thumbs up.

Smiling, Jaehyun watched as they ran to catch up with you. He heard you yell at them after what was probably a teasing remark. You then began to chase Kevin, who ran away shrieking.

After two weeks of spending hours at the PC Room after school, you were starting to get a hang of the game. You found Teemo, who you insisted was a dog (he’s actually a rodent), and gushed over how cute he is.

Jaehyun made fun of your champion choice and shook his head as he explained that Teemo was the most hated character.

“Why? He’s adorable!” you defended. “And I love the little eggs he plants.”

“For the nth time, those are mushrooms! Not eggs,” he exclaimed. “And that’s exactly why everyone hates him. He’s so annoying.”

“You’re annoying,” you shot back.

“Well, Teemo’s not an option right now,” he pointed out.

He was teaching you how to play Howling Abyss that day. And playing ARAM meant your champion would be randomly given.

“Oh! The cute cat is available,” you excitedly clicked.

“That’s Yuumi and that’s actually not a bad choice,” he nodded in approval. “You just have to attach onto me and heal me.”

You hated to admit that you had grown closer with Jaehyun. Only a couple of weeks had passed by since the bet and you didn’t completely despise him anymore.

He gifted you something small each morning, whether it was a plant or piece of bread. He was always waiting for you at the gates. Dating rumors were already circulating the school but you hadn’t forgotten about the bet. You were determined to win it.

Which was why you began to wake up earlier to put on makeup and even complimented him during games. It was easy to make him smile. All you needed to do was throw a lame joke in here and there and he would burst out in laughter.

It was almost suspiciously easy. He was too willing to respond to your advances and never put up a wall.

But that didn’t mean he didn’t get on your nerves. His antics still bothered you to no end.

On the way home, he insisted on feeding you ice cream instead of having you hold it yourself. Except he kept pulling the spoon back when you opened your mouth to eat it.

The first time, you gave him a dirty look. The second time, you punched his arm. The third time, you gave him the finger and walked off after a “fuck you”.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” he laughed.

Once again, you were reminded of how immature he was.

“So has there been any progress?” Kevin asked.

It was gym period and all the students were running around in the field. Jacob was playing volleyball with Jaehyun while you and Kevin were sitting on the sidelines.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged.

“It would be the best enemies-to-lovers trope if you two actually end up dating like this,” he commented.

“Never,” you snorted in disbelief.

You had seen Jaehyun ever since he was a snotty little kid. Even back then, he was a mischievous brat. There was no way you could ever see him as anything but that.

The teacher blew his whistle, signaling the end of gym class. You got up, dusted your pants, and skipped down the steps. Unfortunately, you landed wrong and felt a sharp pain in your ankle as you fell down.

After Kevin shouted your name, Jaehyun turned his head to see you on the ground. Without thinking twice, he ran towards you and asked if you were okay. When you couldn’t reply, he put you on his back with Kevin’s help and sprinted to the nurse’s office.

Your heart was beating fast but you couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why. Was it because of the pain? Or all the attention you were receiving from your classmates?

By the time you reached the office, your ankle was throbbing and swelling up. The nurse was nowhere to be seen so Jaehyun retrieved an ice pack himself and wrapped a towel around it before applying it.

You were sitting on a cot while he was bent down to tend to your wound. His forehead was wrinkled with worry and you stared at him. This was the first time he had ever treated you with such gentleness.

“I don’t think you broke anything but it’s definitely gonna hurt for at least a week,” he winced in vicarious pain.

You suddenly didn’t know how to act around him. You weren’t used to receiving sympathy from him.

“Uh that’s okay,” you coughed to cover up the awkwardness. You’d rather have him make fun of you for being clumsy. But instead, he seemed genuinely concerned for you.

“You should’ve been more careful,” he scolded.

There was something about the way he looked at you. His eyes were no longer playful but you couldn’t figure out what emotions hid behind those eyes.

Those eyes. His eyes clouded your mind. For some reason, you couldn’t get it out of your head.

You found yourself avoiding him as you struggled to organize your thoughts. Or rather, your feelings.

Wanting to distract yourself, you decided to finally talk to Sunwoo. Surely, spending time with him would help you forget about Jaehyun.

So you mustered up the courage to ask him out on a date. To your surprise, he happily agreed and suggested that you watch a movie together. There was a new romcom film that came out and that he had been wanting to watch.

The date wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be. Sunwoo’s goofiness offset any nervousness and it was fun to be around him. But yet, it also wasn’t as heart fluttering as you thought it would be.

Perhaps you had idealized him too much in your imagination. Your romantic feelings for him dissipated and you saw him as a good friend. Luckily, he felt the same.

However, word about your date had already spread by the time you got to school on Monday. It had reached Jaehyun’s ears and his expression hardened when he saw you laughing with Sunwoo at lunch.

He knew what the ugly feeling in his stomach was. And he wasn’t happy about it. So he reacted in the only way he knew. By clinging to your side and pestering you.

He spent the whole day messing up your hair and being sarcastic. Eventually, you finally snapped and told him to piss off.

“I’ll consider it if you can beat me in tennis today,” he said.

You crossed your arms, wondering what was going on in his head. You hadn’t been able to defeat him since middle school.

“If you can get a single ball past me, I’ll leave you alone,” he proposed. With a huff, you reluctantly agreed. It would be faster to just get it over with.

That was how you two ended up at a tennis court after school. He never went easy on you but he was going especially hard that day. He gave you no breaks and flung the ball back at you with what felt like all his strength. Ball after ball flew past you as he grabbed another one to start again.

“What the hell, Lee Jaehyun?” you yelled across the court. “Why the fuck are you so aggressive today?”

“Are you giving up?” he taunted while bouncing the ball.

“Oh hell no,” you grumbled as you got in position.

Another half an hour passed by with him beating you again and again. You were drenched in sweat and starting to feel sore. But you refused to give him the pleasure of watching you admit defeat.

So you kept going until the ball accidentally hit your shoulder. The amount of force he put into that backhand made you yelp in pain as you dropped the racket.

Startled, Jaehyun ran over to make sure you were okay.

“You just can’t bear to see me win once, can you?” you glared as you shoved his hand away. “You turn everything into a competition and act like you’re superior over me.”

“I-I didn’t mean to do that,” his brows furrowed in guilt.

“Didn’t mean to do what? Make my childhood a living hell by ruining my favorite sport? Use my crush on Sunwoo to trick me into another stupid bet? Confuse me into thinking that you might actually not hate me?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then why are you so clingy?”

“Because I like you!”

His words brought upon silence. The tension in the air was thick as you both stared at each other.

“You’re so dense,” he sighed. “I wanted your attention, okay? But back then, I was a kid and didn’t know how to stay by your side without annoying the hell out of you. And then I didn’t know how to transition out of that.”

He fidgeted with a loose string on his shirt and took a deep breath before continuing.

“This stupid bet was supposed to change our relationship. I was supposed to show you that I’m not as bad as you think I am. That I’m a guy too. That I’ve been in love with you for a whole decade now.”

To say you were surprised would be a massive understatement. All your life, you had been sure that Jaehyun’s purpose in life was to irritate you. So when your heart began to skip around him, you cursed yourself for giving into the hormones that made you see him in a different light. You never thought that the feelings would be reciprocated.

“You don’t feel the same way? At all?” he carefully asked.

Your mouth opened but no words came out. You couldn’t find the right words to answer his question.

“You’re not saying no,” the corners of his lips curved up.

He took a step closer to you and held your cheeks. You felt your heart race at the proximity and froze.

“For confirmation?” his lips ghosted over yours. You barely managed to nod slightly before he closed the gap between you two.

As cheesy as it sounded, you felt sparks fly the moment you had your first kiss. By the time he pulled away, you felt your cheeks heat up.

“So I guess that means I won the bet before it even began,” you joked, making him laugh.

“Yes, yes you did,” he smiled as he hugged you.

#deobiwritersnet #the boyz fluff #tbz fluff #hyunjae fluff #jaehyun fluff #the boyz fic #tbz fic #hyunjae fic #jaehyun fic #the boyz scenarios #tbz scenarios #hyunjae scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #the boyz imagines #tbz imagines #hyunjae imagines #jaehyun imagines

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randomshyperson · 3 years

Text

Wanda x Reader - The one and only

Gif is not mine, another day falling in love with her.

Summary: You have always loved Wanda in secret. When Vision dies, she loves you back. But you are also the one who can bring him back. Prompt from @stay-casual

Warnings: Fluff, angst, death, insinuation and brief mention of smut (no sex though)

Words: 13.036k // Read on AO3 too

Marks: @mionemymind @abimess

Notes: Hope everyone like this, let me know if you don’t. Sorry for any typos.

//-//

You loved someone who was not meant for you.

It was a bitter truth you had to accept.

Being an enhanced human, a Hydra experiment, and having spent years under physical and psychological torture by Nazi doctors, pain was not exactly something you were unaware of. You got used to it. You were always down to earth anyway, accepting things as they were.

When you joined the Avengers, you just hoped to help those in need, figuring your days of emotional stress were over.

But then you met Wanda Maximoff.

She was something you didn't understand in the first instant. When she tried to get inside your head, fighting as your enemy, you resisted and almost broke her neck. You saw fear in her eyes, and realized in that second that you would never again try anything that would hurt her. When her brother fought you, and you saw her worried expression, you surrendered. Steve and Tony scolded you for letting them get away, but you just tried to understand why your heart was racing when the witch looked at you before she escaped.

You fail to save Pietro however, and had to watch Wanda collapse. Never, even after so many battles, you felt so helpless.

But you did everything in your power to be there for Wanda. S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't want to allow it, but you used all the favors they owed you to get Pietro's body not treated as an experiment, but as a civilian. And then you organized the whole memorial service. You didn't speak to Tony for two weeks, because he simply wasn't interested in the matter and you wanted to punch him in the face every time you remembered.

The ceremony was simple and small, and while Wanda was finishing paying her respects alone, you took the dirty dishes into the kitchen. Natasha was sitting at the counter and nodded slightly when you entered.

"You care about her." She said after a moment. You continued to wash the dishes, without sketching any reaction.

"Yes."

"No denying it?" she teases, but you remain impassive.

"I have no reason to lie to you, Natasha." You say with a smile. "We are friends, I trust you."

"Are you complimenting me to make me feel guilty for teasing you?"

"Maybe." You say laughing lightly, and Nat smiles.

"Something's bothering you." She says after a moment. You sigh, finished washing the glasses to turn around. You cross your arms and lean your back on the sink.

"If I hadn't organized everything, you would all treat Pietro like an experiment." You say seriously and Nat looks away. "I guess I was just disappointed in the way you all acted about it. Pietro was our teammate, and he sacrificed himself for Clint. If I didn't say or do anything, he'd be in a lab right now."

"You're right." Nat says next, holding your gaze. "But I don't know what to say. Everything has settled down now, and honestly most of us wouldn't have the power to get his body back."

You let out an impatient sigh.

"Right, Natasha." You interrupt and she blinks at your serious posture, but you just have an almost disappointed look on your face. "I should have known that you guys pick the fights you're going to fight. I just hoped that all members of the team would have the same importance."

"Y/N..."

But you just give her a sad smile, and turn around, leaving the kitchen. When you walked back to Pietro's grave area, you noticed that Wanda was kneeling on the ground, leaving some flowers. Vision was beside her, and when she stood up, she allowed him to hug her. Swallowing the bitter feeling in your stomach, you forced yourself to think that you were glad that he was there for her.

//-//

It doesn't take long for you to realize that you are in love with Wanda. It's not in your place to confess it, though.

She is your friend, and your teammate. And more importantly, she is in a relationship with Vision. You were never the jealous type, because you were never possessive, and honestly, you just hoped that Wanda would be happy. And if Vision was responsible for that, that was enough for you.

When Steve and Tony start fighting, and the team splits up, there is not the slightest possibility that you will stand up to Wanda. So you throw your weapons on the ground, and Tony looks at you incredulously.

"Have you lost your mind?" He asks.

"I'm not going to fight with my friends." You say simply turning your back on him as you walk to the other side of the parking lot.

"She really changed sides in the middle of the fight?" You hear the boy dressed in red ask impressed. But you don't care.

"If the deal divides us, there's something wrong with it" You tell Steve when he accepts you as an ally. He smiles and then you are helping him, not fighting any of your companions, just deflecting blows and preventing them from hurting you.

Natasha lands a punch to your face, and your natural instinct is to knock her down. Before you can apologize, she assumes a provocative expression.

"Too bad I wasn't Wanda." She sneers and you roll your eyes, assuming a defensive stance as she stands up.

"I don't want to fight you, Tasha" You say as you defend the blows. "Please, this isn't right."

"You don't just want to stand against your girlfriend." She taunts almost hitting a blow to your face, but you hold her leg up in the air.

"Why are you insisting on this?"

She releases herself from your grip, and you return to defending her attempts to punch you.

"I just don't think it's fair."

"What are you talking about?"

"You should tell her. Wanda should know." She explains and then you hold her fist closed, preventing her from hitting you. She tries with her other hand, but you stop her again, restraining her. Your faces are close together.

"No." You say seriously as she tries to break your grip. "She doesn't need to know."

"You deserve to be happy too." She says before breaking free by hooking her legs around your waist. You loosen her wrists to avoid being knocked over as you struggle.

"Tell her" Nat ordered again and you let out a sigh, knocking her to the floor and falling on top.

"She has already found her soulmate" You reply with a sad smile, immobilizing Natasha "Now please stop fighting".

Nat hits you in the ribs, and you let out a grunt of pain. She manages to immobilize you next.

"You are unbelievable." She comments with a slight smile, and then she lets you go. "Always making me make the worst choices, darling."

You laugh in surprise when Nat helps you up. You think Tony is complaining that it is not fair that people switch sides in the middle of the fight, but you are not listening. You watch Vision and Wanda interact from some distance away. And then you are helping Steve to the plane.

//-//

The fight is over and you are laughing, but not with happiness.

The government wants to arrest anyone who didn't escape from the parking lot, and they are coming. So you are holding Tony Stark by the neck.

"No one is going to touch her." You warn him, and there is only fear and surprise in the man's eyes, "How can you treat your friends like that?"

You saved James Rhodes' life during the fight, and so this is what you use against Tony.

He laughs when you put him down.

"What exactly are you asking me for?"

"Time."

"You made that choice when you chose your side."

"That's too easy for you to say, isn't it, Tony?" you retort with irony. "If you take off the armor, you are no longer Iron Man, and the deal doesn't affect you. We don't all have that choice."

Tony looks at you with annoyance. And then he puts his hand to his ear.

"They've gone north." He warns the agents over the communicator. You look at him one last moment before turning, running back outside.

"Vision, let her go." You warn the man and he looks at you in surprise, probably trying to understand why Tony let you go.

"I don't understand."

"They're up north, Vision." Tony says appearing at his side. "We couldn't reach the fugitives in time. Our colleagues have fled north."

Vision gives Tony one last look before letting go of Wanda's arm.

As Wanda walks over to you, you signal to your the rest of the captain's team that you have also been contained. You find the Ant-Man is injured.

"They also stole the transport vehicle in warehouse 23, the keys were in the cabin." Vision says next and you exchange a look with him, thanking him. And then you run.

//-//

Being an out-of-state fugitive is quite stressful, but you get used to it.

There are no fixed locations, or very long term accommodations, but you try to stay positive about the whole thing.

You all can't stay together, so you have a cell phone that connects to Steve's and Sam's. You stayed in the same hotel room as Wanda for three weeks, then Vision contacted her.

They were trying, and then you let her try it alone. Natasha agreed to run away with you, and you made sure to check on Wanda every week, but she was always fine.

T'Challa agrees to let you stay in Wakanda for a while after the government almost captures you.

Your powers are difficult to control after the agents hit you with a strange weapon, and the people of Wakanda seem to be the only ones able to help you.

You don't like to owe favors, but you think they are good people.

Bucky is free when you meet him. You become close again, and it is good to see him rest.

It is Shuri who discovers where your abilities come from, and you finally understand why you have always felt connected to Wanda and Vision. Your energy came from one of the jewels, as did their power. You don't know how Hydra got access to this, and you don't understand why Thor doesn't tell you all the things humans don't understand, but you realize that these mystical stones are too dangerous.

You talk to Shuri, and then to the council and the king of Wakanda. They all agree that no human should have access to such power. You help her build a machine that can separate the stone and Vision's body.

"How do we destroy it?" you ask her as you are putting the finishing touches on the equipment.

"Maybe you can." She says and you deny it with your head.

"No, I don't think I can." You say. "But maybe Wanda can. It's her thing, and it's her stone too."

Shuri nods and you get back to work.

Unfortunately, events move faster than you do.

//-//

There is an army controlled by a purple man.

That is the only information Steve gives you through the communicator. You hugged Wanda tight when she arrived in Wakanda, and she was happy to see you, but she also seemed upset. You knew it was because of Vision.

"Hey buddy, it's going to be okay." You told him with a smile as you helped him climb into the machine you built.

"Thanks, Y/N" Vision said to you.

You didn't stop fighting for the next few hours.

There was a moment, on the battlefield, that you felt something in the pit of your stomach. When you destroyed your opponent, your hands and eyes were glowing even after you stopped throwing your power. Your stone was here.

You knew something was wrong, so you ran to where you were being pulled.

Some opponents tried to hold you back, but you defeated them easily, feeling much stronger than you ever had.

"No!" you exclaimed angrily as you launched your energy at the creature that was supposed to be Thanos, preventing him from reaching Wanda. He used the golden gauntlet to hold his power, but you kept him busy long enough for her to destroy Vision's stone, an energy field pushing you away when she did. You fell to your knees afterwards, exhausted from having held out against your own stone for so long.

Thanos slowly walked over to the redhead, and you struggled to move toward her.

"I understand, child. Better than anyone." He said and you choked, fearing that he was going to hurt her.

"You could never." She replied angrily still on the floor.

"Today I lost more than you could ever imagine".

"Leave her alone" You muttered stumbling toward her. You are feeling a sharp pain all over your body, but managed to stand. Thanos smiled at you wryly.

You raise your fist toward him, but he just raises his golden gauntlet.

"I felt you." He with a wry smile. "In my hand"

"You will feel my fist on your face in a second." You retorted angrily and he laughed. You are almost reaching for him, but you frown when you notice the green glow on his gauntlet. The time stone.

"One second is all I need."

You blink, and you're not there anymore. You are halfway again. And then you understand what he has done. When you run back to where Wanda was, a golden light throws you away. This time, it wasn't Wanda who destroyed the stone.

"No. No" you repeat to yourself as you run back, your body no longer aching like before, and you stumble among the trees.

You were going to attack Thanos as soon as you saw him, but Thor hit him first. Then you were running to Wanda, kneeling beside her.

"He's gone." She cried beside Vision's body. You couldn't feel his stone anymore, and your own face was wet with your tears.

You placed your hand on top of Wanda's next, and looked forward. Thor had struck Thanos in the chest and was saying something to him.

Then you gasped in surprise as the titan raised his fist.

"No!" you exclaimed getting up, but he snapped his fingers. You launched a wave of energy at him, but he used his gauntlet to defend himself. "What have you done?" you shouted rushing to reach the fallen titan.

"The necessary thing." He whispered before using his last breath of energy to teleport away.

You turned to Thor at the same instant, but he is not looking at you, but at Steve.

"Steve?" A male voice calls out, and you watch Bucky walk toward you all. But he turns to dust midway.

"W-what?" you whisper breathlessly, taking a step forward. Steve kneels on the ground in the same place your friend was and looks at Thor in confusion.

You look at Wanda immediately and feel your heart soar when you notice that the same thing is happening to her.

"Wanda?" You cry running to her, but by the time you arrive, she is gone. There is only Vision's body.

You can't feel either of them anymore.

//-//

The world is in complete chaos during the blip. There is no more S.H.I.E.L.D, and many other deals. And then there's a company that wants to take Vision's body away, and you destroy their trucks, and Steve has to calm you down for twenty minutes.

"No one is going to touch him." You say only as you release yourself from Steve's grip, and ignore the startled looks from the agents of S.W.O.R.D. You kick them out of the Avengers compound, and say that Tony Stark may be dead, but they had no jurisdiction there. If they had a problem with that, they could fight you.

It took 23 days for Tony Stark to come home. You hug him first when he gets off the plane. And you are impressed that it barely takes two hours for him to start talking shit.

"I told you guys we needed armor around the world..."

"And here we go again." You mumble impatiently as you take the focus away from the discussion to the tablet in your hand.

You are startled when Tony collapses to the ground, and the team moves to rescue him. You don't worry, because you feel he is fine.

"Tony always has to make a scene." You comment to yourself shaking your head slightly. "Hey, you," You call out to the metal girl you don't know while the other avengers are out of the room, "help me find your dad."

//-//

The team is trying to locate Thanos by analyzing planets that fit Nebula's description. You feel a sharp twinge in the back of your neck and then you are getting up towards the scanning equipment.

"Y/N, what is it?" Steve asks worriedly as he notices her movement.

"I found him." You say a moment later.

The team is impressed, but you swallow dryly.

"I felt my stone." You explain to them. "And then I didn't feel anything else. We need to go to him."

The Avengers exchanged worried looks, fearing what you were implying.

Soon you were all on a spaceship, heading for an unknown planet.

When Thanos confirmed your suspicions, the stones were destroyed, you sobbed.

"Wanda. She..." You said breathlessly turning to leave the cabin. You sat on the ground, trying to normalize your breathing. She's gone. Your friends are gone forever.

//-//

Your way of experiencing grief is unconventional.

You try to balance managing the chaos that the world has become while splitting chores with Natasha, and going to a few community therapy sessions. Steve is acting strange, but you make sure he eats properly.

There are no tears. You feel that if you start crying you won't stop, so you just work. And you help those who need it. And you have movie nights with Natasha, and you try to remember things that are worth living for.

There is a secret project too, something that is not progressing, but that you don't give up on. The machine you created with Shuri in Wakanda was destroyed in battle. With the world in complete chaos, you didn't have enough time to put it back together, especially with the current state of Wakanda. But you kept the projects going. Part of you didn't know if your lack of absolute dedication was because you believed Vision wouldn't want to live without Wanda. You wouldn't and you didn’t.

So there is this side project, to rebuild the machine and try to restore Vision, but it falls by the wayside after a few months. You keep the papers in a safe in your room, and start accepting more missions.

Tony has given up the hero's life, just as you always said he could do. You are not angry with him, though. And you visit him not so regularly, and agree when Pepper says that Morgan is the cutest kid in the world.

Steve becomes a kind of group therapist, and you want to tell him he needs a degree, but Natasha pokes you in the rib, and you just nod as you listen to the story.

Clint is different too. Losing his family has completely messed him up, and he has become a vigilante of sorts. You find Natasha crying often after you discover that he has been murdering people, and you always hug her until she stops.

As time passes, your pain becomes numb, and your nightmares stop happening. You think it is because Natasha lets you sleep in her bed now.

//-//

Five goes by much faster than you realize.

You are somewhere in Georgia, investigating a lead on a possible terrorist group forming, when Nat calls you. Scott Lang was alive.

When you return to New York, you discover that you have to go back in time.

Your friends want to know if you know anything about how Hydra had your stone, but you have no memory of that time. And with no time, they decide to just follow the right date and place that Rocket provides. You accompany Nebula, because it might be helpful to get a feel for where your stone would be.

You hug Natasha before she leaves with Clint to get the soul stone.

"You're getting sentimental" She teases when you let go of her.

"I know" You retort with a smile. "Just be careful, Tasha."

"I'm usually the one who tells you that." She says in the same tone, squeezing your hand lightly before turning away.

When Nebula takes you and James to a place called the Temple of the Power Stone, you can barely breathe.

"I can feel it." You say to the two of you as you walk to the stone.

"How are we going to get it?" James asks as he looks at the repository where the stone is placed.

Nebula is sticking her hand in the protective flame next second and you let out an impressed hiss.

She hands the stone protector to you, and you nod in appreciation.

"Let's synchronize then." You say as you form a small circle.

"Wow, that always feels weird" You joke as you appear in the Avengers compound again, now on your time. But your smile dies when you look around, and can't find Nat. "Clint...where?"

He just denies it with his head, and you feel your heart soar. This can't be true, you think in desperation.

"No. Nat... She can't." You say breathlessly, falling to your knees. Steve is touching your shoulder next. But then you release yourself from his grip, rushing to get out, feeling yourself suffocating.

You end up on the pier of the complex, thick tears streaming down your face.

It doesn't take long for the team to catch up with you.

"What do we do now?" You hear Tony ask. Steve sits down on one of the empty benches.

Bruce, in his Hulk form, is further away and looks just as upset as you.

"Did she have a family?"

You let out a short laugh at Tony's question.

"She had us." You retort trying to control your tears.

"Why are you guys talking like she's not coming back?" Thor asked angrily. "We have the stones, we will bring her back."

"It can't be undone." Clint said next, nipping in the bud the shred of hope that had risen in your chest. You sobbed. "She sacrificed herself for the stone, her soul was the price." He says looking forward. He lets out a breathless sigh. "It should have been me."

"You bet it did." You retort bitterly as you get up and walk away. No one follows you this time.

You go directly back to Nat's room. And you stay there for two days. When you calm down, and decide to take a shower and try to eat something, on the way out of the bathroom, you stop in front of her closet.

She would hate for you to take her clothes without asking, but you are wearing one of her leather jackets anyway. Wanda used to steal them too, and you both used to joke that it was because Nat had a wonderful fashion sense.

Now you had lost your two friends, and you were alone. You tried to control your sobs. Her sacrifice had to be worth it. So you put on her clothes and went out into the living room.

//-//

The team was arguing when you came in. You just blinked in surprise when you noticed the iron gauntlet. Tony really did it.

You tried to argue that you could handle the gauntlet's power too, but Bruce insisted that since he was made of gamma ray in his Hulk form, that was what he was there for.

And then he snapped his fingers.

You looked at Clint in surprise when he took a call from Laura.

"Honey?" He whispered tearfully and you felt your heart soar. And then something exploded and you were creating a force field to save Clint from the rubble.

When you were finished falling among the remains of the completely destroyed Avengers compound, you checked to see if the archer was okay, sighing with relief when he opened his eyes.

"Stand up." You ordered helping him to stand. "We have to find the others."

"The gauntlet." He warns pointing to something among the stones that glowed in the dark a few feet away from you. Before you could walk towards the item, a noise caught your attention.

Clint aimed an arrow from the direction of the sound, and you choked as the space creatures moved in the dark.

"Go." You shouted to him before starting to attack the beings as he ran to reach the gauntlet and leave the place, you following him with some delay.

You almost died a couple of times though. And when you reached Clint again, there were two Nebula's with him, and a green girl.

"What's going on, people?" You asked confused, and then let out a surprised exclamation when you realized that one of the Nebula's had a gunshot mark on her chest.

"I'll explain on the way, we have to get out of here." Clint spoke pulling you through the halls.

"Wait, she killed her past self? Isn't that going to be a problem?" You exclaim as soon as Clint explains it to you and he shrugs his shoulders. "May I ask why you are green?" You say to the strange girl next to you and she looks at you reproachfully.

"Why aren't you?"

"Touché" You retort smiling, "I am Y/N."

"Gamora."

When you reach the battlefield, things are chaotic and you barely have time to notice your surroundings and you are already fighting again.

Your heart races when you realize that everyone is back. But you don't have time to talk to anyone now, as you are busy fighting.

A red glow catches your attention, however. Completely taking your attention is the right thing to say.

"Who's got the gauntlet?" You hear Steve ask over the team's communicator, but you don't wait for the answer; you're headed toward Wanda.

When you find her, she has the titan trapped in her magic. You choke with excitement at seeing her again, feeling your eyes water.

But then a loud explosion catches your attention. Thanos has activated the airstrike, and you are running toward Wanda, reaching her just before one of the missiles reaches you two.

"Whoa, hi!" She greets you in surprise as you roll on the ground together. A mixed force field between your and her magic surrounds you, protecting you two from the attacks. You let out an exclamation of happiness, raising your hand to her face, wanting to confirm that she was really there.

"God, it's really you." You gasp with emotion, letting your tears flow. Wanda probably doesn't understand what is happening, but she hugs you back as you bury your face in her neck.

This can't last long, though. You take one last look at her face before standing up, the force field still surrounding the two of you as you help her to her feet.

However, when you go to ask her how you could take down the ship, someone does it for you.

"Wow, that's cool" You comment with a smile watching Carol destroy the entire ship with one blow.

"I think you're drooling." Wanda scoffs lightly making you laugh awkwardly.

"Shut up."

And then you are fighting again.

You have the impression that you are losing. But then Thanos' army is turning to dust before your eyes and you are exchanging a confused look with Wanda.

"Tony snapped his fingers." Steve says into the comm and you choke in surprise. Then you are running halfway across an open field until you catch up with your friends.

Pepper is kissing her husband's cheek when you arrive.

"S-Steve, what?" - You ask and he just shakes his head, thick tears in his eyes.

You gasp and then there are arms around you. It takes a moment for you to hug Wanda back. And when Steve takes Tony's body, she holds your hand.

//-//

Your hands are shaking as you step out of the shower.

You are staying at Tony's house, as are some of the others, while the compound area is being restored and Pepper organizes the funeral.

The laundry on your bed is Natasha's last set of clothes, and you don't want to cry anymore, but your face is wet anyway.

You finish getting dressed, but remain sitting on the bed in the room you are sharing with Wanda. The redhead enters a moment later, but you don't look at her.

Wanda sighs slightly and sits down beside you.

"Do you also have the feeling that everything is a bad dream?" She starts after a moment, you blink in surprise feeling a bit distracted and forcing yourself to pay attention. "Like the pain is so overwhelming, it's easier to think it's all temporary. Because there' s not the slightest chance you can survive this for much longer."

"Yes. I feel exactly like that." You agree smiling faintly. "But that's grief. No matter how impossible it seems now, it gets better."

"How can you know that?"

"Because I already lost you once."

Wanda blinks in surprise and then looks straight ahead. You don't face her either.

"How was it?" she asks after a moment, almost in a whisper. Clearly not exactly sure whether to ask that or not. You let out a dry laugh, running your hand over your face to wipe away the tears.

"What kind of question is that?" you retort and Wanda lets out a sigh, apologizing, but you shake your head. "You know exactly how I felt Wanda. Because you lost Vision too."

Wanda swallows dryly, looking at you with a frown. You stand up, leaving no room for questions.

You leave the room next, it was better to try to eat something.

//-//

Steve Rogers is going back to the past. And he will stay there.

He confesses this to you on the eve of Tony's funeral, and you push him by the shoulders, before hugging him tightly. Bucky also cries when he tells him.

No one else must know, not yet. You go back into the room you share with Wanda and mask your tears. She probably thinks it's because of Nat, so she doesn't press you to talk.

When the ceremony takes place the next day, you entwine your arm with Steve's. You were about to lose the three leaders of the Avengers all at once, and it looked like your heart couldn't take it.

But Steve smiles, and squeezes your hand lightly, before going to talk to Potts. You walk to the edge of the lake at the cabin, joining Clint and Wanda.

"I wish there was a way to tell her." Says the man after a moment. You clench your jaw, knowing exactly who he is talking about. "Of telling her that we won."

"Natasha was sure we would make it." You say half hoarsely, trying to hold back the cry. "She trusted us. That's why she did what she did."

Clint nods slightly, not holding back the tears that were falling from his eyes.

"She knows." Wanda said next. "They both know."

Clint slung an arm around Wanda's shoulder and one around yours, embracing you both. You allowed yourself to cry some more.

//-//

There are no more Avengers. At least not for now.

The world is in complete chaos with everyone coming back after five years.

You don't want to think about how many responsibilities you will have to take on when you are a hero again, you just want to get some rest.

Your first stop is Vision's grave. The restoration of the complex took a few weeks, but Potts was kind enough to take care of everything.

You took Wanda there as soon as everything was ready.

"I know we haven't talked about this yet, but, I got it back." You tell her as you walk together to the spot Potts showed you on the map. "After Thanos activated the missiles, I worried that something had happened, but the restoration team was able to map everything out again." You counters by leading her around the place.

Wanda just listened to your words, saying nothing. She seemed surprised by everything.

You reached a small hill, where there were two small metal and rock tombstones. On the first gravestone you made a few years ago completely recovered by Potts' team and already with slightly rusty lettering, it read "Pietro Maximoff - Brother, Friend and Hero. You are loved beyond words and lost beyond measure." On the second, a newer metal, and with gold lettering, it read "Vision Maximoff - Friend, Lover and Hero. To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."

"I used to bring flowers, but..."

You fell silent as Wanda hugged you. You reciprocated the hug for a moment, until Wanda let go, smiling weakly at you before turning around, kneeling on the graves.

As she ran her fingers over the letters, you cleared your throat.

"I know you two weren't married, but since Vis didn't have a last name..."

"It's okay." She interrupted in a whiny voice. "Thank you."

She stood there for many minutes. You don't mind waiting. And when she allowed it, you hugged her again, wiping away her tears.

You returned to the compound just as the sun was setting.

//-//

You were going to help Wanda to have a proper grief.

She had the same quirks as you, unhealthy habits of disconnecting from reality.

You wouldn't want that for her. Vision wouldn't want that.

The day after you took her to Pietro and Vision's grave, you appeared in her room in the morning. A tray of breakfast in your hand.

"I don't want to get up." She grumbled against the pillows when you entered the room without knocking, opening the curtains.

"I know, but it's almost ten thirty and you need to eat something." You said, leaving the tray on the bedroom table.

The first day she resisted. But two weeks later, she was already on her feet when you came into the room. You always ate together, and you made a point of taking her for walks, and spending time doing the things she liked, for example watching old TV series together.

"Potts called me." You said as you two shared coffee. "She wants me to take over the compound."

Wanda let out a surprised exclamation and you laughed lightly.

"Yeah I know, it's a lot." You say. "But Tony left the command to Steve. And Steve left it to me."

"Are you sure you want this?" She asked looking at you. You shrug.

"It's not about wanting it, Wands," you say. "I am who I am after all. These powers are with me for a reason. Maybe I can use them to do something good."

Wanda nods slightly, looking at you in a way that makes you embarrassed.

"And what does the government think of all this?" She asks and you sigh, running your fingers through your hair.

"They want to control everything of course." You tell her. "Potts is trying to keep everything classified as private property, but after Thanos, that's pretty unlikely."

"I guess the treaty of Sokovia was inevitable after all." She then comments, and you grumble in agreement.

"I would like to enjoy the rest of my vacation, though" You say with a smile, making Wanda look at you.

"What do you want to do?"

"I'm torn between a quiet weekend at a spiritual retreat or getting completely drunk in Las Vegas."

Wanda laughs.

"Okay." She says smiling, "Let's do both then."

"Oh, you like both then?"

"Oh, yeah."

Wanda replies wryly, and you notice her cheeks flush slightly, suggesting that she understood your insinuation. You laugh, going back to eating.

//-//

Sam has been calling you for a few hours, and you left an automated message on the answering machine that says "I'm on vacation, if it's life or death, send a letter".

You are driving to Las Vegas now, humming a pop song on the radio with Wanda in the passenger seat.

"Now that you are Tony's heiress you will spend the money on gambling, I suppose" She teases making you laugh.

"I'm not Tony's heiress." You counter laughing.

"Oh, yes, sorry, Miss Avengers leader."

You laugh at the teasing, then turn up the volume. You and Wanda sing at the top of your lungs.

When you park in front of the first big casino you encounter, Wanda has a mischievous grin on her face.

"I bet I win more games than you do." She says stopping in front of you.

"Can we use our magic?" You ask in the same joking tone, and she nods. You let out an excited exclamation. "Game on."

//-//

You two are thrown out of the casino a few hours later.

You both laugh as you run away from the angry security guards and get into the car quickly, many small coins falling out of your pockets. You drive through town, until you find a bar that seems crowded.

"Ready for the second half of your vacation?" Wanda asks with amusement as you get out of the car, making you laugh. Parties aren't really your thing, but you had said you wanted to drink after all.

The girl at the door looks at your clothes with a judgmental eye, but you think Wanda may have used her powers to get you two into the club.

The atmosphere is extremely noisy and with lots of lights, but you are not bothered when you start drinking.

"I think this is the worst way to go through grief" You comment before you and Wanda pour a shot of vodka together.

She laughs lightly afterwards.

"It's fun though."

And then she is pulling you onto the dance floor. You are too drunk to care about the closeness. You laugh as you dance together.

As the nightclub is beginning to empty, you and Wanda stumble out, visually drunk.

"Where's the car, Wands?" You ask between giggles, Wanda shrugs her shoulders, leaning on you to be able to walk.

It takes many minutes for you to find the vehicle. And when you do, Wanda passes out in the back seat. You use the rest of your sobriety to throw a jacket over her body, before sitting down in the front seat and falling asleep.

The next morning you both have a very bad migraine, and decide to have breakfast at a dinner on the way back to the compound.

Sitting on opposite sides of the same table, you drink some orange juice while Wanda steals a piece of your pancakes. You don't mind.

"Where are we going to spend the last stage of your vacation?" She asks curiously, and you rest your face on your hand while propping your elbow on the table.

"I don't know." You say. "I don't think I know anywhere quiet."

Wanda stands thoughtfully for a moment.

"We could rent a cabin."

"I make minimum wage."

Wanda laughs rolling her eyes. But she becomes quiet next, her expression serious.

"I can split the bill with you."

You raise a curious eyebrow.

"May I ask where the money comes from? Please don't say drug dealing."

Wanda laughs, looking away.

"Shut up." She retorts the next moment. "So what, you'll take it?"

You look at her suspiciously. You weren't going to pressure her into telling you what she didn't want, wishing to give her privacy.

"All right, Wands."

Wanda smiles at you, raising her hand. You give a "Hi-Five" and the waitress looks at you curiously.

//-//

Maybe renting a cabin with the woman you've secretly loved for years wasn't your best idea, but you're handling things well.

You were only going to stay three days, and if you could disguise that you completely melted when Wanda touched you or how cute she looked when she woke up, you'd be fine.

The cabin had two rooms, which was the best thing for your sanity.

After you had finished unpacking, you decided to prepare something to eat.

"How do you know how to cook this?" Wanda asks in surprise as she joins you in the kitchen. "By the way, how do you have the ingredients to make it?"

"I bought it on the way, smarty pants" You replied with amusement, moving around the kitchen to prepare the Sokovian Stew. "And I've cooked it for you before, I don't understand the surprise."

Wanda laughed lightly, remembering.

"Sorry, you're right." She says leaning against the countertop as she watches you cook.

"Come here and see if the seasoning is good." You tell her a moment later as you are stirring the pots.

You raise the spoon toward Wanda, expecting her to take it. But she just brings her mouth close to the cutlery, and looks at you as she tastes the food. You swallow dryly, feeling your heart race at the intensity of her gaze. You almost choke when she lets out a groan of satisfaction.

"It's delicious."

"Uh." It is the only sound you are able to produce, as Wanda looks up at you with an innocent smile. You quickly face the pot again, trying not to embarrass yourself so much.

"I'll set the table for us."

//-//

"Are you sure food is not your love language?" Wanda asks suggestively when you hand her a mug of hot chocolate. You are on the veranda, a few hours after dinner. You laugh lightly.

"My what?"

She settles into the seat she is sitting on, turning her face to you as you sit down next to her.

"Your love language." She explains with a smile. "There are several, one of them is cooking for the people you love."

You frown slightly, growing thoughtful.

"That's hardly mine, Wands." - You reply. "I hate cooking."

"What are you talking about, you always cook for me!" She retorts with a mix of confusion and humor in her voice, you shrug.

"It's because it's you." You say looking away.

"What does that mean?" She asks and you sigh lightly, taking a sip of your chocolate. Wanda looks at you incredulously. "You're not going to tell me then. Okay."

"Tell me more about these love languages." You ask next trying to change the focus of the subject from yourself.

Wanda seems excited to talk about it.

"Okay, I think there are five kinds." She starts with a smile, you're just happy to hear her say anything. And she sounds absolutely adorable when she talks about something that gets her excited. "They are words of affirmation, quality time, touch, acts of service, and gifts."

"What happened to cooking?" You tease and she pats your shoulder, laughing.

"I guess it comes into gift giving" She says thoughtfully. "But I read somewhere that it was like a sixth language".

You make an understanding noise with your mouth, but Wanda interprets your lack of reaction as a lack of interest, and apologizes that she is boring you. You frown.

"Hey, what are you talking about? I love this idea!" You assure her, and she smiles shyly after a moment. "I was just wondering which language I fit best in. That is, if I'm the one who decides that?"

"It's not a decision really." She says. "It's more of an analysis in how you behave. Usually the people around you notice."

"Oh, right." You grumble in agreement. "You really would make a terrible analyst then." You tease and Wanda laughs, pushing you lightly and making a face when she almost knocks over your hot chocolate. You laugh. "That story that I cook to show my love, not a thing."

Wanda rolls her eyes amused and then looks at you curiously.

"Oh yeah, and what do you think your language is then?"

You think for a moment.

"I have no idea." You confess and Wanda laughs looking away, "That's harder than it sounds."

"Take a guess."

"Um... I don't think they are words of affirmation." You say and she looks at you expectantly, wanting you to talk more about it. You smile awkwardly. "I never know what to say, so that would be the last language I would think of."

Wanda smiles, biting her lip and shaking her head slightly.

"What else?"

You inhale deeply, thinking.

"Well, I'm not the best gift-giving person." You counters. "Maybe quality time is a good option, but I'm not sure either. I'm pretty anti-social."

"I think quality time might be your thing." She says with a fond smile.

You raise your eyebrow curiously.

"Why do you say that?"

"Look around you." She replies with a smile, and you understand that this is exactly what is happening now. You give a shy little laugh.

"Can I make it official then?" You ask and Wanda laughs.

"I don't know, don't you like the others?"

"I forget which ones they are." You confess and Wanda laughs.

"Touch and Acts of Service." She clarifies and you nod in understanding.

" Okay let me think about it." You begin running your fingers through your hair quickly. "How can anyone know that touch is their thing?"

"I guess if the person likes to be touched." Wanda says and you raise your eyebrow in confusion. "Like, if you like to give hugs or cuddle."

"Do some people not like that?"

Wanda laughs.

"I think we have an answer." She says and you smile, shrugging.

"No, seriously. I don't know." You speak. "I guess I have no problem with touching people I like, but I can't tell if that would be my language."

"Okay." Wanda says and you look at her curiously as she picks up your mug and places it on the table along with hers. She moves a little closer to you, and entwines your hands together. You swallow dryly.

"Do you like that?" She asks gently, and you look into her eyes, glowing green. You nod shyly, and Wanda smiles. She releases your hands to slip her arms over your shoulder, and you melt into her embrace almost instantly. "Is that good?"

"Yes." You whisper with flushed cheeks. Wanda releases you next.

"I think we have a winner." She jokes, and you giggle awkwardly.

"What about you? What's your language?"

"Definitely quality time" She says and you smile.

"I think words of affirmation are your thing too."

Wanda looks at you curiously.

"Why?"

"Because you're nice." You say. "You say nice things all the time I mean. You are an affectionate person."

"Maybe words of affirmation are your thing." She hits back with flushed cheeks, you laugh awkwardly looking away.

"What happens if people have different love languages?" You ask after a moment. "Do they fight?"

Wanda sighs lightly, thoughtfully.

"I don't really know." She replies. "I think they each show their love in a different way, and if they talk, there's no reason to fight."

You nod in agreement and then straighten your posture, extending your hand to Wanda.

"Miss Maximoff, I swear I will try to show my affection to you with words of affirmation and quality time" You tell her in a fake serious tone, and Wanda joins in on the joke, agreeing to shake your hand.

"I swear I will try to show my affection to you with touch and also with quality time." She repeats the pledge, and you both look serious for a second, before laughing.

Neither of you realizes that by proposing to act outside your comfort zone for each other, perhaps acts of service are the best suitable love language for you two.

//-//

The second day at the cabin is like heaven on earth.

You wake up early, have coffee with Wanda, and walk a short trail with her until lunchtime. You cook again, and she teases you about it. In the afternoon you play monopoly, and cards. She makes you tea, and then you two sit on the sofa, each with a book, just enjoying each other's company.

It must be about ten o'clock at night when Wanda starts to yawn. You two are already lying on the couch, and you poke her ribs with your foot and she laughs lightly.

"Go to bed." You tell her with a smile, and she looks quickly at you.

"I don't want to sleep." She says and yawns next, making you laugh.

"Of course you don't."

Wanda laughs and then closes the book, placing it on the small table beside the sofa. She buries her body against the cushions afterwards. You laugh as you look at her.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to get up." She replies by closing her eyes. You laugh, closing the book and sitting down. You place the book on the coffee table, and when Wanda yawns again you sigh.

"Come on you big baby, I'll take you to bed." - You tell her as you approach. Wanda lets out an exclamation as picks her up and carries her, blushing as she places her hands on your neck. You were laughing and didn't realize it.

When you reach your bedroom door, Wanda uses her powers to open the door, and you look at her quickly to thank her, which is a mistake, because you realize how close you are. It's hard to reach the bed without shaking now.

"Here we go." You mumble clumsily as you lay her down on the bed. Wanda doesn't let go of your neck however, and you swallow dryly. "Wanda?"

"Can I kiss you?" she asks breathlessly, and you feel your stomach drop. Your bodies are very close together, as you bent down to place her on the bed. Your hands are stretched out beside her neck, to keep you from falling on top of her.

"Are you sure?" You reply in the same tone, your voice husky. Wanda nods biting her lips lightly, her face very flushed.

You slowly advance against her and she meets you on the way. You both sigh as your lips touch. It is as overwhelming as you ever imagined it would be.

Wanda nuzzles the back of your neck lightly and you slide your tongue against hers, changing the intensity of the kiss.

She sighs, pulling you down and you shiver as you rest your weight against her.

When you pull away to take a breath, your foreheads stay together.

"Wanda..." You start breathlessly, trying to decide what to say.

"I like you." She confesses in the same tone, her voice husky. You feel your heart race. "Is that okay?"

You let out a short laugh, nodding. You kiss her again, smiling against her lips.

You kiss for several minutes, and when your lips are swollen and you are hot, you part. It's still early for this, you don't want to press Wanda.

"Maybe I should go to my room" You whisper against her lips, finding hard to reason with such closeness. Wanda kisses you again, making you sigh. You are almost giving up on the idea of getting up when she breaks the kiss, biting your lip as she does so.

"Goodnight, darling" She whispers and you melt at the nickname, but smile, starting to get up. Wanda is still lying there, just as affected by the make-out session as you are, and you just smile shyly at her as you say goodnight and go back to your room.

You both have silly smiles on your faces as you fall asleep.

//-//

There is a delicious tension in your relationship with Wanda now.

You got up early on your last day, and went into the kitchen to make breakfast for the two of you. While you were preparing coffee, Wanda woke up.

She stretched, and seemed to hesitate slightly about what to do next, but you were already handing her a cup of coffee and kissing her cheek before walking over to the table.

You sit in silence, glances and smiles stolen between the small talk.

When you have finished eating, you turn on the television, and Wanda sits down next to you.

"Come here" you ask softly, and she smiles as she approaches, cuddling up to you. You watch some silly movie together, and you like to feel Wanda laughing against you.

In the afternoon, Wanda is the one who prepares lunch, and you lean on the counter when you finally decide to look at your cell phone. You sigh as you look at the number of missed calls and notifications. There are at least a dozen messages from Sam saying that something was wrong.

"What is it?" Wanda asks when she notices your expression.

"Dever calling us" You reply with a mixture of weariness and irony, shaking the cell phone. Wanda exchanges an understanding look with you, and you put the cell phone on the counter, sinking your face into your hands. She gives the pot one last check, and you are slightly startled when she moves in front of you, gently pulling your hands away from your face.

"I just wanted to stay here forever" You confess and let out a short laugh "I know it's selfish, but I just... it feels like my whole life I've been fighting." You tell her with a sad smile. "This must be the most at peace and content I've felt in a long time"

Wanda raises her hands to caress your cheeks.

"It's not selfish." She says tenderly. "I know exactly how it feels, darling. Ever since I was a child, Pietro and I went from one fight to another." She tells you and you let your hands rest against her waist. "I can't thank you enough for giving me moments like that."

You smile, shaking your head slightly. Then you sink your face into Wanda's neck and she hugs you back.

Now that your cell phone is no longer on silent, it doesn't take long for another call to come in. You grumble when you let go of Wanda to answer it.

Sam is saying something about a new Captain America and you are frowning, but smile when Wanda presses her fingers against your forehead to get you to stop grimacing.

"Are you listening to me?" Sam asks half impatiently on the other end of the line. You had been silent because Wanda is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen and she is standing right in front of you, smiling.

"Of course, Sammy." You then reply, raising your free hand to Wanda's cheek caressing her skin. "I'll come back to the compound tonight and then we'll talk better."

"Okay, just hurry please." He asks and looks tired. "Things are a mess".

You hang up and move forward, kissing Wanda intensely. She sighs against your lips, and you wish you could call Sam again and tell him you're not going anywhere.

//-//

When you return to the compound again there is a lot of work.

You find out that Sam is going to become the new Captain America and you couldn't be prouder.

You are no stranger to the idea that he should be the new leader of the Avengers, as Steve was. It feels right and you tell him so.

He seems surprised that you refuse the leadership, but you assure him that it was never really your thing, you would be happy in solo missions and other activities.

Besides this, things with Wanda were going in a direction you never imagined.

Part of you kept repeating that she would never look at you if Vision were alive, but you suppress these thoughts as much as you can.

You start going out frequently, casual encounters that leave you two with flushed cheeks and racing hearts. There are some kisses. But in general, Wanda is already so much a part of your life that nothing has really changed. You live together in the complex, and spend almost all your free time together.

There are many missions now, many people needing help.

Four months after you started to go out, Shuri calls you.

She apologizes for not getting in touch sooner, explaining how complicated things have become in Wakanda as well. You assure her that it's okay and that you would like to visit her when you can. She has a mysterious tone when she says that she needs your help with a project, and that she would have more information in a few days. You are curious and thoughtful as you hang up the cell phone and walk back to your room.

Wanda is strangely quiet the next day. You don't understand what is going on, but when you check the calendar, you bite the inside of your cheek. It was the anniversary of Vision's death. For you it had been five years, but for her, only a few months. Sighing sadly, you prepare something hot for her to eat.

When you arrive in her room, she has a sad and thoughtful countenance and is slightly startled when you enter without knocking, but you just smile and put the tray of soup on the table.

"I brought you some food, baby" You say tenderly and Wanda looks at you just for a moment. You notice a piece of paper in her hands and have a curious expression. "What's that?"

Wanda's eyes immediately fill with tears, and you blink in concern. She holds out the paper to you.

It is a house plan. It is stamped "property sold" with the date close to when you traveled to the cottage. You understand where the money came from now. But what catches your eye is the scrawl in red in the center, which reads "To grow old together, V."

Swallowing dryly, you fold the paper again, leaving it on the table before returning to Wanda.

"I'm sorry, I just... I just miss him and it seems like everything changed all at once"

"No, Wanda. It's okay." You assure her as you sit up and wrap her in a hug, which made her cry, but also relax her immediately. "I wish I could take this pain away from you, but I can't. I'm really sorry for the life you two couldn't live together."

Wanda sobs against your T-shirt and while you soothe her to sleep, you decide what you are going to do.

//-//

Shuri called. So you were going to Wakanda, Bucky next to you on the plane.

You teased him one last time about his new name "white wolf" before you got off.

You hugged your friend tight before you two left for the laboratory.

"I managed to recover the wreckage of your machine" She tells you with animation. You push down any insecurity as you smile, and hand her the projects that have been locked away in your room for five years.

You will work together again. It will take some time, due to the amount of tasks, but you will have this as your main project.

After three days, you and Bucky return home.

Before you enter the compound, he calls out to you.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asks with a worried look, you nod.

"They belong together, Buck." You say with a bitter taste in your mouth. Bucky has an almost pitying look on his face and you hate it, so you are changing your stance. "Don't say anything to Wanda, though. I can't give her hopes like that and fail. She can only know if I succeed."

Bucky nods in understanding and you walk back.

//-//

Your heart and your body belong completely to Wanda Maximoff. You eventually realize this when you return to the compound, and even though you are secretly working to resurrect her dead boyfriend, you can't resist her.

Perhaps the best choice would have been to end things between you, but all you can do is completely melt in her presence. You laugh at her jokes, engage in her conversations, and fall apart in her kisses.

The trips to Wakanda become more frequent over the next month, and you begin to miss Wanda terribly when you are away, but you use this frustration to work.

It's May, and you'll need to travel again just three days after you arrive, and by the way things are going well, this should be your last trip to Wakanda.

"Okay, Shuri, thanks for letting me know. I'll get everything ready." You tell her through the hologram in your room and she smiles before hanging up. You are startled when you notice Wanda at the door.

"Are you leaving again?" She asks annoyed and you nod sadly.

You hope that Wanda will not be as upset as she has been the last few times. You obviously don't tell her the reason you go to Wakanda so much, and Bucky covers for you by saying it was confidential. It has been enough to maintain the logic that the less people knew, the less dangerous it was, and Wanda believes it.

"I'll call you while I'm there" You tell her trying to soften her annoyance as she walks into her room closing the door.

"It's not the same." She mumbles moving closer only to pass her arms around your torso. "I miss you."

You feel your heart soar as you hug her back. You know that the sentence refers to the new distance you have put between you, and part of you wants to confess everything. But you hold your words back.

"Everything is going to be okay, Wanda." You tell her disguising any sign of your recent need to cry. "This is going to be the last time."

Wanda then releases you, looking at you tenderly. You smile back, and she moves in to kiss you.

You know those kisses. The ones she only gives when you are alone, or when you have been apart too long. Kisses that are dangerous to cross barriers that you didn't know if she was ready to cross, and that also make your body hot and take your breath away.

Going out for almost seven months, this was the only line you hadn't crossed yet. Honestly, your cuddling sessions were borderline. But there were so many other things about your relationship that sex really wasn't the focal point.

And then you had Wanda kissing you like this and you couldn't resist.

Letting your hands slide down her body, you felt her sigh against your lips as you squeezed her ass, pressing her forward against you.

You began to walk with Wanda around the room, exchanging passionate, hot kisses, until she stumbled on the bed and you fell over her body on the mattress.

When your clothes came off, you reached for one of her hands and entwined it in yours on top of her head, kissing her neck as you trembled at the sound of her moans.

Wanda came on your fingers, moaning your name with her eyes closed and mouth open as you kept your free hand entwined in hers. You looked at her with adoration, thinking she was absolutely perfect.

You came against her thigh, and then she came in your mouth a few moments later. You repeated it one more time until your bodies were too tired to do it again.

You woke up first the next day, and while preparing coffee, you felt your face getting wet. You were going to lose her again. But you quickly wiped the tears away. She was never really yours to lose.

//-//

Bucky didn't come back to Wakanda with you, and you figured he had some other mission. You also insinuated that he was spending a lot of time outside the compound with Sam, and laughed when he got flushed and told you to go fuck yourself.

When you arrived at Shuri's lab, you didn't sleep properly for two weeks.

//-//

Non-Reader Pov

Bucky nodded slightly when Wanda entered the kitchen. She had been really upset these days, feeling lonely. But Y/N made the soldier promise to check on her girlfriend often and keep her company, so that's exactly what he's been doing.

After coffee, he suggested that they walk around the compound for a while, and the witch accepted.

"You know, I think Nat would like to see you two together." Commented the soldier with a smile. Wanda grumbled in agreement, slightly distracted, but then she assumed a confused expression.

"What do you mean?" She asked and Bucky blinked curiously. "How did Nat know that Y/N liked me?"

Bucky let out a short laugh also confused by the conversation.

"What do you mean, Wanda? Everyone knew all along."

Wanda stops walking, blinking with confusion.

"Bucky, what? No, Y/N and I only fell in love after Thanos, what do you..."

Bucky laughs in disbelief and confusion.

"Whoa, she really didn't tell you." He says surprised and at Wanda's expression, he straightens his posture, putting his hands in his pockets as he looks at her. "Look, maybe it wasn't the best idea for me to be the one to tell you, but I imagine since you're together now it won't make much difference." He says, sighing slightly. "She's been in love with you ever since you joined the Avengers. You were the reason she fought alongside Steve when he defied the law for me. Everyone always knew."

Wanda shook her head, surprised and incredulous.

"Bucky what are you saying?" Wanda muttered more to herself than to the soldier. Bucky just looked at her curiously.

"All these years, and you never knew." He said surprised.

Wanda felt her eyes fill with tears.

"But... Why didn't she say anything?" She asked holding back the tears. "I... She's been with me all this time, and... how could she not have said anything?"

Bucky shrugged.

"You had Vision, Wanda. She didn't want to make things awkward." He says. "She used to tell Natasha that loving you was enough. She never needed you to love her back."

Wanda gasps in surprise and cries, running her hands through her hair. Thousands of memories flashing through her mind at once. All the times Y/N was by her side, their escapes from the tower, their pranks, their jokes. The way she always stood up for her, helped her on missions, in training. How she blew up the TV set in the briefing room the day the government agent broadcast the report of what happened on Sokovia to the team in an attempt to shock them with Wanda's mistake. Pietro's grave, the way she took care of everything and assured Wanda that she was happy to help. But mostly in the way she always smiled when Wanda told her about Vision, how she supported her when they were on the run, and how she didn't leave her side when she was grieving.

Wanda couldn't imagine how much it must have hurt to watch the person you love, loving someone else.

Wanda let out a dry laugh, finally letting the tears flow.

"All this time, and she loved me in secret." She mumbles breathlessly. "How could she bear it?"

Bucky looked away.

"Well, she's always tougher than most."

Wanda shook her head, laughing sadly.

"Take me to Wakanda."

//-//

Reader Pov

You did it.

"Shuri, is this really happening?" You ask with a mixture of surprise and excitement. Your eyes completely glaze over in front of you.

The door to the machine you created then opened, a metallic noise filling the room. It took the machine man a few seconds to open his eyes, and when he did you held your breath.

"You really did it." Shuri said to you impressed and looking forward as well.

"We did." You retorted taking a step towards the being that was looking at you with curiosity. He seemed to be getting used to the idea of being online again. "Vision?"

The question escaped your lips firmly, although your heart was racing.

Vision moved out of the machine, looking around.

"I'm confused." The male voice filled the room. "I think I've been asleep. My last memory is of a field."

You gasp, feeling your eyes fill with water.

"I can't believe you're here, buddy" You tell him, stepping forward to hug him. Vision doesn't respond however, still appearing to be in shock.

When you let go, you are smiling.

"I'll explain everything to you, Vis."

Shuri leads you to a meeting room, and she keeps checking Vision's functionality signals while you talk for a bit. You tell him about the blip, about his death, and a little about Thanos. He is different, maybe it is the stone. He seems more mechanical and logical than ever, talking about statistics and asking about social impacts. You just think he needs to get used to the world again.

"There's someone coming to see you" Shuri announces after a moment while fiddling with her computer.

"T'Challa wants to check if we are eating properly again?" You joke and Shuri laughs, but then she frowns.

"Actually it's..."

The door to the room then opens. You get up from your armchair in surprise to see Wanda standing there. She looks at you with adoration in her eyes, but her expression falls completely when she notices who is beside you.

Her face is a mixture of surprise, disbelief, and confusion. You swallow dryly, ignoring the urge to cry, and force yourself to smile shyly.

Wanda walks towards you slowly.

"I've been working to bring him back, Wanda." You explain in a husky voice. "To bring him back to you."

Wanda's eyes are filled with tears, and she gasps as Vision rises from the armchair, looking at her curiously.

"How...?" Wanda asks breathlessly, but she sobs then moves forward to embrace the robot.

You feel your heart break, because it is over. You smile however, nodding to Shuri lightly as you leave the two of them alone.

When you reach the hallway, your hands and legs are shaking and you lean on the wall to keep from falling to the floor. Bucky is joining the two of you as Shuri looks at you with concern.

"Everything okay?" She asks touching your arm lightly. You nod frantically.

"I did what I had to do." You say breathlessly, holding back tears. "She...She's happy."

Bucky exchanges a look with Shuri and then he is asking if he can hug you. You nod slightly and when he does, you collapse.

//-//

You are avoiding Wanda.

It's childish, but you feel your heart ache every time you think about seeing her, so you're trying to buy time to only talk to her again when you can show that you're happy for her.

It has been two days since she arrived in Wakanda.

You and Bucky are in rooms in the same hallway, and you know that Shuri has set up facilities for Vision and Wanda to be together. You haven't seen her yet, and it's all due to the fact that you accepted whatever task the king had to keep you well away from the castle.

You returned very late to your room on the third day, and Bucky was waiting for you in the hallway.

"You two need to talk." He said, following you into the room as you sighed.

"I know, Buck." You grumble taking off your jacket. "I just need time, I...I think I'll crumble if I see her again"

Bucky runs his hand across his face, slightly impatient.

"No, you don't understand." He says. "You just brought her dead boyfriend back, you can't just ignore her."

You throw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes.

"I'm really considering alcoholism now." You grumble, and Bucky laughs lightly.

"Talk to her." He says before turning to leave.

You take a while to fall asleep after that.

//-//

You see Wanda again. At a safe distance. Your heart feels like it is going to jump out of your chest.

She and Vision go out for a walk just before lunchtime. You look at them from the balcony, their silhouettes in the field of flowers. It's beautiful. You don't realize that you are crying.

Walking to Shuri's labs, you intend to accept some project, but she has a worried look on her face when she looks at you.

" There' s something wrong." She comments by showing you a graph that you don't understand at first. "While you were behaving like a child, we had some problems." The teasing makes you blush slightly, but you are too worried to respond.

"What happened?"

Shuri sighs weakly.

"Wanda and Vision talked for a few hours. And then she realized what we didn't anticipate." She explained as she changed the chart. "Without the mind stone, Vision is just a computer program. There's nothing human in him anymore."

You blinked in confusion, and let out a short laugh.

"What are you talking about?" You ask, but before she answers you are talking again. "Vision was always a computer. His love for Wanda was his humanity."

Shuri shook her head in the negative.

"The mind stone created a connection with Wanda." She explained. "Without it, he is just a set of algorithms. He remembers everything he experienced, but he can no longer feel."

You gasp in surprise and then sit down on the floor, trying to understand exactly what you had done.

"I think our mistake was not accepting death." Shuri said after a while. "We can't reverse something like that. We should know."

"I can't believe I did that." You commented with a dry laugh. "I brought him back only for her to lose him again. My god what the fuck is wrong with me?"

Shuri walked over to you, kneeling in front of you, and placing a hand on your knee.

"You didn't know, okay?" She said trying to reassure you. " Your intentions were the best".

"That doesn't matter now". You grumble bitterly.

Eventually you get up, and decide that you should apologize.

Shuri tells you that she will handle everything with Vision, that she would ask him if he would like to continue to exist, if he had a purpose, or if he would like to be deactivated. You told her to make sure that he knew that he would always have a place on the Avengers team, and she smiled saying that Wakanda would also accept him.

//-//

Your heart was racing when you knocked on Wanda's door.

She used her powers to open it, and you walked in, finding her sitting on the bed, pensive.

"You finally decided to talk to me." She teased looking at the television. You swallowed dryly, twiddling your fingers nervously.

"I talked to Shuri." You begin with emotion showing in your voice. "She told me about...about everything. I'm so sorry Wanda." You cry. "I didn't know this was going to happen, I didn't mean to hurt you..."

Wanda blinks confusedly getting up as she approaches you, raising her hands to your face.

"It's okay." She assures wiping away your tears.

"No, it isn't. I brought him back only for you to lose him again, I can't believe I could do that to you, I'm sorry..."

"Stop. No." Wanda says shaking her head, her eyes filled with tears. She swallows her emotion as she looks at you tenderly. "You gave me a chance to say goodbye to him."

"Wanda..."

"I didn't have that chance before." She continues with a sad smile, "I am grateful for it."

"W-what?" you sigh breathlessly with incredulity.

Wanda smiled, stroking your cheek lightly.

"All this time, and you've been loving me in secret." She spoke tenderly, and you felt your face heat up.

"How...?"

"It doesn't matter." She interrupts shaking her head slightly, the look in her eyes is one of pure adoration. "I still don't understand how you can hide this from me, and..."

You shake your head, letting the tears flow.

"I just wanted you to be happy, Wanda." You interrupt with a smile. "It didn't have to be with me."

Wanda gasps slightly, and moves forward to kiss you on the mouth. The kiss doesn't last long, however, and she breaks away to bring your foreheads together.

"I love you." Wanda whispers against your lips, you sigh in surprise. "Sorry it took so long."

You let out a short laugh, hugging her. When she hooks her arms around your neck, you lift her off the ground, and Wanda lets out a giggle. You spin around, smiling, your chest exploding with happiness.

//-//

On your last day in Wakanda, you visit Vision.

He is in one of the castle rooms, looking contemplative, and pours you a cup of tea.

After you talk about what he wants to become, you hug him goodbye and he looks at you curiously.

"I never directly asked you what your motivation was for doing all this." Vision begins with a curious posture. "Shuri told me about your affection for Wanda, but I never understood precisely."

You look away from the floor, kind of awkwardly.

"I thought you two were soulmates." You say to him, and Vision observes you for a few seconds before speaking.

"How could we be soul mates, if I never had a soul?" He asks and you raise your face in surprise. Vision just smiles slightly as he puts his hand on your shoulder. "I wish you had told her how you felt in the beginning. It would have prevented so much suffering."

"Hey, we would feel your loss even if Wanda liked me..."

"I was talking about you." He interrupts with a smile and you fall silent, not knowing what to say next. "I hope you'll be happy together. You have a high level of compatibility."

You laughed at the mechanical way Vision spoke and gave him one last hug before leaving in farewell.

//-//

You return to Wakanda the following year. Many things are different now, from your address, to Wanda's rings, and your last names.

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