#in a literal way or in the sense of fulfilling his own drive to come out on top of a situation (incl. monetarily)
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the more i chew over the mercs trilogy from rvb14 the more i think my initial reaction to it was kind of a complete misread actually lol
i had to dig through some old posts to find where i talked about it but initially i approached/read it as showing a pivotal, critical moment in felix and locus's history where they tipped over the line from being This to being That, and in that regard, the episodes are definitely still super fun and charming and Good but they also fall very flat. what exactly was pivotal about that? honestly, not much unless you want to do an insanely close read with some reaching. i guess maybe the whole "surprise, guess we're down to do a ransom and also kill a guy" part but... not really? they definitely murdered n+1 people at the club and are not new to murderizing (eg. the "mason wu, trained killer of men" comment). that was not a moral high ground situation in any way and nothing about it really points to it being The Moment that something changed fundamentally.
but what it was, actually - and i feel silly that i didn't read it like this at first - was honestly just a show that felix and locus did actually come from a place of doing net positives at some point in their lives. and that's not something to be dismissed! the fact that they weren't terrible horrible no-good dirty rotten mercenaries from the day the left active service is really interesting! and the trilogy showcased all of that in a super fun and charming and Good way and sometimes the point is just to show that things used to be different.
#tangentially related but i also really like the way it cements felix as being not just a smooth-talker (lol) but also a quick thinker and-#-extremely calm under pressure esp. when a situation changes drastically (suggesting the ransom; the phone call; etc)#and locus as being impulsive (killing the son whose name i cannot remember right now)#sorry 2 fic writers whomst's fics i love dearly but locus is actually textually tremendously impulsive and impatient 🤷♂️#(see: diving headlong after wash when wash taunted him over the radio; being ready to jump into the true warrior test immediately)#which is also interesting to consider in the scope of how strongly he feels about taking/following orders from H. and makes me think that-#-the whole insistence on Following Orders is something he hammered into himself as some kind of antidote™ to the impulsiveness#whereas felix is a VERY quick thinker and happy to follow a plan but only up until the point it ceases to give him the advantage#in a literal way or in the sense of fulfilling his own drive to come out on top of a situation (incl. monetarily)#(eg. following the hostage plan up until whatshisface was like 'my son sucks lol' then changing tack instantly to sth he knew would work)#anyways. i should be editing and Poasting instead of this.#we love tags that are as long as the post here in chez basia j. cat#red vs blue
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second chances
summary: baizhu knows he isn’t your favorite, but he still finds himself hoping for the impossible. maybe, with enough prayer, he’ll get it.
word count: ~2k
-> warnings: major spoilers for baizhu story quest + lore + liyue archon quest, based on me and my experience (vaguely disliked baizhu at first due to partial information, immediately changed my mind w his quest and now adores him, doesn’t have kirara)
-> gn reader (you/yours) and unspecified traveller (they/them)
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr
< masterlist >
baizhu knows he isn’t the most favored.
from the first moment the traveller set foot in his office, he knew. he wasn’t met with anything special, no big flair from his god when you first saw him. it was to be expected, with how much time he spent praying—could gods have regulars?
it was simple. a quick ‘oh, the snake talks?’ thrown his way, a comment or two about his choice of outfit or the jade pendant hanging off his vision, and that was that. mostly, you seemed preoccupied with qiqi and the funeral parlor’s consultant, something to be expected. he was a quick stop on your journey, a note in the margins about the doctor you met at the pharmacy. it made sense, of course, that you’d be occupied with the death of rex lapis during the failed rite of descension, and the return of osial and beisht surely took priority over him. he offered little, only a dialogue or two actually shared between him and the traveller when you were present. he’d gathered as much of his energy, saved it for your arrival to make a good impression, so… it made sense you’d fret over qiqi, constantly forgetful as she was.
it made sense. he’d… made his peace. he had more to worry about, surely, what with orders to fulfill and his own condition to manage. maybe not more important—never, not maybe, what was he thinking?—but certainly more.
when your attention on qiqi flared, spurred by some unknown whim, he delighted a bit in being close to her, even if your thoughts on him weren’t entirely positive.
it was fair. you liked qiqi, and were concerned. it made sense you didn’t know every detail of teyvat, and since he’s never had the chance to come to you and spell out his story directly, it made sense you’d make some assumptions.
“i guess that makes sense, but still… qiqi deserves better.”
she probably did, in truth, but hearing it from you…
he’s had his vision for years by this point. he’s hd it for as long as he’d had changsheng, to be exact, and she was always able to remind him of exactly how long that had been.
“ssseven yearsss, four monthsss, thirteen daysss, and counting…”
“ah… thank you, changsheng.”
he knew he wasn’t special. out of the thousands of vision wielders across teyvat, only a handful have started having their constellations appear in the sky. just under a hundred, by his approximation, but he tried not to count. if he sought out the proper numbers, tried to pin down a percentage of those with a vision that had a chance to hold their god’s attention, then he’d start trying to find patterns. he was a doctor, patterns and rhythms were his literal job, but he knew that wouldn’t end well.
(a librarian, an alchemist, a lawyer: did you perhaps favor more studious types? a bartender, an exorcist, a detective: or those with a drive in their lives? a nobody, a traveller, a wandering samurai: or those seeking one out for themselves?)
there wasn’t a pattern. it was random. and part of him hated it.
baizhu had had his vision for seven years, eight months, and thirteen (was it fourteen? the sky was growing dark) days, and had never once seen his stars in the sky.
he had one. he had a constellation, something he knew was rare among vision wielders, but it didn’t guarantee him a spot in the sky any time soon. kirara had hers long before she had her chance in the heavens—they’d spoken about that, both hesitant to show the other their divine gift, but willing to speak of its existence.
and now kirara’s turn had passed. though her vision didn’t shine any brighter, he could see the pride in her smile when she dropped off another delivery at the pharmacy. sign here, check these, make sure this is what you ordered, goodbye have a good day, pretend like yours doesn’t weigh more after seeing hers.
it wasn’t as if he was unremarkable. a perfectly healthy man who had thrown himself into illness to find the cure for all of them? surely that was interesting, wasn’t it? but it wasn’t his time, he was being impatient, slipping back to the same mindset he condemned his patients for.
“patience. medicine doesn’t work in an instant, and you’ll need to be taking this for the next week at minimum.”
“but it’s so bitter!”
“then tell me, what tastes worse: bile, or this pill? if you want to stop being sick, you need to take it.”
patience.
qiqi was blessed with a place in the stars near instantly after she’d gotten her vision, but she was not the norm. perhaps his expectations were weighted, then? or maybe you disliked his work entirely? he didn’t like entertaining what ifs, but when various aches kept him up, there was little else he could do while he waited for his medication to take effect. patience, he tried to remind himself, counting his breaths. be patient. wait, be calm, don’t agitate yourself. count in, count out, are your breaths getting shorter? just stay calm, be patient…
the first time he saw you, he knew you were coming. he’d saved as much energy as he could, doing his best to make a good impression. but now, with changsheng nudging him awake urgently, pushing him into his shoes and putting his glasses on for him, the first thing he’d expected was the millelith, maybe, or perhaps the ministry of civil affairs. maybe he was needed urgently, maybe something had happened to qiqi, maybe he was late for his medication and he’d get terrible headaches if he wasn’t quick- oh, but then why would she bother to coil around his shoulders?
and yet, out of all those possibilities, none were correct.
“hey! who’s talking about me behind my back?”
“changsheng, qiqi meant that as a compliment. there’s no need to be upset.”
it had been so long since he’d felt your light, far longer since he’d been properly healthy. he’d forgotten how it felt to walk without the dull ache in his joints, and yet here he was. standing by gui and a familiar looking child, speaking with your traveller. it was easy to say words he didn’t choose, his throat not getting dry despite the lack of his morning tea.
the quest was long, and by the end he should have been exhausted. between taking on jialiang’s sickness to turning him into a zombie, he should have been out of commission for the next few days. as it was he had a nasty cough, his breath coming shorter than typical… but that was it. he took his regular medication at the dinner with your traveller, the linger of your aura on them still seeming to dull his pains. how curious, that you could cure ailments even he couldn’t name anymore…
“baizhu, are you alright?” idly, he wondered if the traveller noticed the change in their voice when they were speaking for you. it always sounded a bit lighter, a bit of your emotions bleeding through… a pity he’d never know why. “today must have been taxing for you…”
all eyes were on him now, even qiqi’s. “i’m doing fine,” he said simply, taking another sip of his tea. “better than normal, if anything, which i have to owe to our guest.”
paimon still seemed nervous. “but what about when we leave? what if everything hits you all at once? normally you stay at the pharmacy, and using your power so much…”
a fair assessment. while he was no stranger to combat, to be thrown in the middle of a pack of such vicious hilichurls was a shock. still, he had made it through—even if, privately, he doubted it would have been so clean without you there. “i will be fine. even if my condition declines, i am well equipped to handle flare ups.”
it seemed the whole group was hesitant to let him go. changsheng insisted he stay up until three hours had past since the traveller left, when his limbs again felt heavy and his head began to hurt. something odd was stirring in his chest, and he was eager to get to bed before it sparked into anything more. it was reasonable, he knew, but there were only so many prescriptions to prepare before he had nothing left to do. gui had long since went to bed, leaving just him in the lobby of the pharmacy, quietly double checking his stock of herbs.
eventually, he stood from his seat, returning the sweet flowers to their proper place. he held up an hand to let changsheng climb up his arm, closing up the pharmacy. she curled around his shoulders twice, a familiar weight. the night was cool, a slight breeze bumping the chain of his glasses against his cheek. it had been a long few days, and he was happy that everything was settled. he’d done all he could for jialiang, and he and his family hopefully wouldn’t be coming back for quite some time. back to routine…
“…baizhu?”
he checked the lock with a quick tug, “yes? what is it?”
“the ssstarsss… they’re due, aren’t they?”
ah. the cycles of constellations, switching through the sky. if he thought about it.. yes, they were, weren’t they?
“by my memory, they are. why?”
her head was turned, looking off to the part of the sky not obscured by the roof of the pharmacy.
“…changsheng-“
“look.”
“it’s late.” his heart began to pick up, false hopes being raised. patience, he chided himself, but what follower did not wish for acknowledgment from their god? “we should go to sleep before we fall too far out of schedule.”
“baizhu! i know you have better sssenses than that.”
perhaps he did. his vision burned where it was clipped to his side, invisible vines creeping up toward his heart. “don’t be too hasty,” he said quietly, the words tasting as bitter as his pills.
don’t be too hasty. you could still be wrong. don’t get your hopes up. be patient.
one hand went to his hip, undoing the clasp of his vision, the other settling on the railing. a few clouds dotted the sky, but he lifted his vision anyway, searching for any stars tinted green.
everything happened at once. the terrace was replaced with an ocean of skies, the slight mumble of “i do have a guaranteed…” getting lost in the whirlwind around him. he was weightless, trapped in by an invisible box, only dimly aware of the fact that his pain had once again disappeared. he was floating, dressed in the attire he normally saved for formal events—dressed in what he’d put on when you’d first arrived—with no sight of the pharmacy below him. it was just him and changsheng, him and changsheng and the bright light that came from everywhere, lifting him from his unseen prison.
a laugh, a smile, a rush of power flooding through him, and when he next set foot in front of the pharmacy, he did so with a new gleam to his vision. he could hear a door open behind him—qiqi, if he had to guess, as why wouldn’t she be drawn to the power the adepti could only hope to imitate?—but couldn’t turn, breathless.
“welcome home, doc.. it’s good to see you.”
it had taken seven years, four months, and 25 days, but he was here. and it was more than he could have ever asked for.
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin sagau#sagau#self aware genshin#baizhu#sagau baizhu#sagau aether#sagau lumine#sagau paimon#sagau qiqi#i guess?#fluff#sagau fluff#hurt/comfort#genshin hurt/comfort#sure?? god every time this gets harder to do#i feel like one of those authors on ao3 that ‘sorry this chapters late i [insane life events]’ 3#except much lamer. ‘i was sick’ ‘i was overwhelmed and couldn’t get the brain juice going’ ‘the brain juice did go but in the wrong way’#genshin self aware au
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I am a firm Marvin Gardens BPD/NPD truther, so here’s all my evidence.
This is a very long post, so buckle up.
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Let’s go through the symptoms he shows, shall we?
- Has unreasonably high sense of self importance, and requires constant admiration:
Marvin, especially as a child, exhibits a large amount of grandiosity. This is most evident in How Marvin eats his breakfast and My Highschool Sweetheart.
He thinks of himself as above the maid staff and he constantly threatens/accuses them. Then he’s given the role of Columbus, and highly identifies with him to the point where he claims he *is* Columbus. That he’s this grand explorer, who’s the king of the ocean. He believes he’s powerful because of the role.
Then as an adult, Marvin has a constant need for adoration. He needs people (like Whizzer and Trina) to love and want him in songs like Thrill of first love and This had better come to a stop. That might even be a reason he got with Trina in the first place. He wanted to feel needed, without the responsibility of having to love back.
Not to mention the line “Kid. Be my son.” In Father to son. He wants Jason to fulfill the role as his son (and subsequently love him), not really acknowledging he’s his own person. But he still deeply cares about Jason, and wants him to succeed, he just does it through the only lense he understands; himself. Also, I noticed that Marvin literally moves the chess board aside and makes Jason face him during that song, even though he clearly doesn’t want to.
- Believes they deserve special privileges or treatment:
The R of Ms. Goldberg shows Marvin is obsessed with getting what he wants, for no other reason besides the fact that he wants it. It’s also implied that he didn’t even necessarily have the acting skills required to be Columbus, Ms. Goldberg just conceded because he kept pestering her. He believed he deserved it, so he got it.
- Make achievements and talents bigger than they actually are:
Again, Marvin obsessed over being a star actor. He also consistently exaggerates his intelligence with lines like “I can read her like a book” in How Marvin eats his breakfast and “I'm not so rich but hell I'm smart.” In This had better come to a stop.
In I never wanted to love you, Marvin also claims that he’s in demand, when he’s most likely not and is just trying to cover for his ego.
- Preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance
Oh wow. Ok, so we all know about the metaphor for games at this point. Marvin loves winning, he literally says it’s everything to him. He also says that he wants it all multiple times which is just, really driving home the point that he craves success and power over everything else.
Marvin is also characterized as being rich, which again emphasizes his need for success. I’m thinking he climbed the corporate ladder for the sole objective of looking like he’s successful.
Side note, I think the reason he never acknowledges how rich he is might be because he’s ashamed of being a trust fund baby. He had a whole maid staff as a kid, so it’s implied his parents had mad stacks. He might’ve sought success outside his parents’ money so that it was his own accomplishment, not his family’s.
I want to touch on My chance to survive the night, specifically the line “I played a game. She was as cute as a dime and couldn't spell. I asked her to spell my name. That's it for girls.” Marvin has a history of using games as a basis for breaking up with people because of his insecurity, even before Chess game. He gets a lot better with this in act 2, and this is evident in the racquetball matches. He seems a little unconfident, but he’s not devastated by it in the way he would be before.
I’ve mentioned this in a separate post, but The r of Ms. Goldberg can also be interpreted as a fantasy for power, since Marvin isn’t actually interested in having sex with Ms. Goldberg, and instead just wants to have control over her.
- Is critical and looks down on people they feel aren’t important:
Marvin consistently ignores his sweetheart even when she begs for his attention. When she tries to tell him she’s a person, he calls her ridiculous.
Marvin also just generally acted out as a child because he considered everyone as beneath him.
This trait is especially highlighted In Tight Knit family reprise, where he just straight up talks shit about Mendel, not being able to believe that Trina can love him. It’s also shown in Marvin hits Trina, that he dislikes her platitudes and expects substance from her, and then goes on to again beg for admiration with the line “How could you ever deny what we had?”
- Expects others to do what they ask without question:
This is best shown in This had better come to a stop and Chess game. Marvin expects Whizzer to play the housewife, while not acknowledging that he’s his own person.
This is also displayed in Tight Knit family, where he expects everyone to go along with his perfect vision of what a family should be.
- Has an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others:
This is most clear with Sweetheart and Trina. As I’ve said, Marvin blatantly ignores sweetheart’s attempts to love him, and completely disregards her. I want to note how he does this in favor of being attached to Ms. Goldberg and playing Columbus which are his power fantasies, essentially.
This trait is also shown in Breakfast over Sugar when Marvin basically tells Trina to shut up and that she’ll get over it when she’s having a a pretty expected emotional outburst to him divorcing her. He completely disregards her feelings, showing no empathy to her.
- Acts arrogantly:
This can just be interpreted as confidence but Marvin says that he loves being himself multiple times over the course of In trousers.
• Borderline Personality Disorder
- A strong fear of abandonment:
This ties into Marvin’s need for admiration, but he constantly asks others for validation, and even doesn’t want Trina to find new partners because he interprets it as abandonment of his family.
There’s also the workshop version of This had better come to a stop, which is all about how Marvin is terrified that Whizzer’s going to leave him again in act 2, but he tries to bury all those feelings down so that he doesn’t appear needy. One of the lines is “I sit here and slowly rot. Wait for Whizzer, wait for answers, and get none.” Which just really nails down this point.
There’s also Unlikely lovers, when Marvin refuses to leave Whizzer’s side in the hospital.
- A pattern of unstable, intense relationships:
I’m sure we all know where this is going.
Marvin has a lot of opinions about Trina. He says that he thinks she’s perfect in I have a family, but that at the same time, he says that he hates her in I swear I won’t ever again.
His wants are contradictory. He wanted Trina to leave him alone when he divorced her, but couldn’t accept that she married Mendel. Also, he fights with Trina consistently, even throughout Act 2.
Onto Whizzer, their relationship is driven solely by chaotic passion. Their relationship is *built* on fighting and making up with hate sex.
Whizzer has no idea how to feel about Marvin because of how unstable he is. Marvin can be gentle, but he expects everything to go his way. He’s affectionate but highly judgemental. (Then again, so is Whizzer.)
- Quick changes in how they view themself:
This is best shown in Your Lips and Me reprise. Marvin goes from hating who he was and what he did to Ms. Goldberg to having a whole ass victory song about how he loves being himself.
This might be sarcasm, but Marvin is also self deprecating in Tight knit family reprise, with the lyric “I'm too damn peeved, self-absorbed, self-deceived. Who knows?”
- Periods of stress related paranoia and loss of contact with reality
This is a stretch, but Marvin’s exes always hovering around him in In trousers might be paranoia about his past manifesting itself. This is especially clear in I can’t sleep and Your lips and Me reprise where they physically interact with him, preventing him from sleeping or reminding him of his past.
- Impulsive/risky behavior:
Bro got multiple STDs, presumably from unsafe sex. Also, it’s implied that he also got HIV after Whizzer.
Hitting Trina could also be seen as impulsive behavior.
- Wide mood swings:
This is where Marvin’s giddy seizures comes in. He has periods of extreme laughter and giddiness, sporadically.
- Inappropriate levels of anger
Marvin hits Trina. I mean, what else do I have to say? This whole song is about Marvin’s anger taking over his actions and causing physical harm because of it. He also shows inappropriate anger when he brings out Whizzer’s belongings after the Chess game.
Ok Jesus Christ that was a lot of words. Keep in mind that these are just my headcanons and you’re allowed to interpret Marvin in any way you want.
Also I don’t have these disorders myself and I’m not a professional psychologist or anything so let me know if I got some things wrong. I just care way too much about the Marvin Trilogy and I’m also interested in becoming a psychologist.
#falsettos#marvin trilogy#in trousers#marvin falsettos#falsettos 2016#falsettos obc#I have thought too much about this#god someone save me#character analysis#google how do I stop a hyperfixation?
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( SC credit to @randomstoreroom21c )
SHANG TSUNG HCs
I once again can’t stop thinking about MK1 Shang Tsung and his personal life and relationships /struggles / past / so have these rambles, keep im mind that most of these are HCs we came up with for our AU but I think they might generally apply as I just love them so much.
• To most of his allies Shang Tsung is respectable and influential enough to be a collaborator but too alienating and too much of a pathological liar to be a friend or even a partner as soon as they find out what experiments he conducts. This frustrates Shang Tsung because he desperately longs to experience the feeling of being admired. It’s kind of twisted though, because he is entirely unwilling to change his ways even towards other evil-spirited figures and still hopes that someone will love him for what he does as there’s a sense of “look at my power and my deceptive nature and how I simply do not care, isn’t that an attractive quality in and of itself?” He almost expects people to want him for it but it doesn’t occur in his mind that no matter if good or evil people consider working with him his ways will always make him untrustworthy.
• think when he was younger he tried to make genuine connections but usually ended up being discarded or he severed said connections himself because of his deceptive nature - so it never really got anywhere and eventually he turned spiteful without acknowledging that he was often the issue rather than others. It definitely got chaotic and he probably didn’t shy away from manipulating people into desiring him but deep inside he always knew that fake love and fake bonds wouldn’t bring him the satisfaction that he desires. It was always just a means to survival in the end so loyalty of any sort towards him was always forced rather than earned. He so badly wants to mean something to someone but in the end his actions drive everyone away and closer bonds are hardly ever considered. It’s basically an endless cycle he cannot seem to get out of.
• He does not mind having few friends especially due to a past of mutual backstabbings and untrustworthy alliances but he clearly does mind not having admirers as there is a sense of envy over Liu Kang’s power and the admiration he deserves because of his modesty. He was visibly taken aback after finding out that somewhere in other timelines there were versions of him who had actual influence and he asks himself why he was the one deemed “lesser” than his doppelgangers.
• Convincing Bi-Han, the literal grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, probably felt like one of the biggest successes to date for him. He was able to successfully use his schemes to tempt a powerful man into betraying his own family and join forces and it would only make his god complex grow. However he is probably a man who is hardly satisfied whatsoever so the fact that Kuai Liang and Smoke did NOT join would frustrate him to no end - especially because these fighters genuinely appeal to him and he had hoped for things to develop which might seem like a completely delusional desire to outsiders - again this comes from the deep underlying despair of wanting to be noticed and acknowledged but no one ever engages in such a way. He often seeks more in alliances than his partners and therefore he never quite feels fulfilled.
#niku's rambles#shang tsung mortal kombat#shang tsung mk1#shang tsung#mk1 shang tsung#mortal kombat shang tsung#niku30#rambles#Shang Tsung HCs#hcs#mk1 HCs#character headcanons#headcanons#headcanon
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DOES THIS FIC EXIST? IF NOT, ANYONE WANT TO WRITE IT? 😂
Ok, so entirely randomly, I woke up this morning with the plot of a hurt/comfort/whump fic in my head. As in, I was literally already thinking about it when I realised I was conscious again. I must have been dreaming about it, but once I woke all the way up I thought “yeah, I’d read that fic” so I wondered if I could dump the idea out into the ether here in case anyone wants to actually write it lol. Or in case anyone recognises it as the plot of a fic that’s already been written and I can go read that one lol. Here it is:
So, remember the Enterprise episode Twilight, when Archer has amnesia and T’pol becomes his carer? Sort of that idea but instead it’s Kirk who is injured and becomes so physically impaired that the really requires round the clock care. Spock and McCoy both leave the Enterprise to support him, Spock taking on the role of his daily care and McCoy throwing himself hell for leather into work at Starfleet medical researching a possibly treatment or cure.
As the weeks/months wear on Kirk struggles not only with his own helpless and everything he’s lost, but also the guilt and incomprehension of having derailed his two best friend’s careers. Lots of opportunity for angst and depression at the height of this. However, at some point it becomes clear to Jim that it’s not some misplaced sense of duty that’s keeping Spock by his side, or driving McCoy to run himself into the ground working round the clock, it’s their devotion to him. (Could be Spirk or McSpirk depending on whether Bones devotion and love is written as platonic).
Eventual happy ending, McCoy comes up with something that will, if not fully cure Jim, at least allow him to lead a more fulfilling life and a joy his new found love(s).
Does this fic already exist? If so please share the link! If not, someone please write it, I really want to read this! 😂🖖
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Picnic
The scorching Texas sun makes you squint and cover your strained eyes with the palm of your hand. A light arid wind drives dust tubers along the deserted roads; somewhere in the distance, small birds are chirping. Rare milky clouds float across the sky.
You're sitting in the shade of the trees, slowly swinging on a swing. It seems like you've been here for at least ten minutes, glaring at the front door of the Sawyer house. Drayton and Chop-Top weren't at home, so you weren't too worried. Waiting for Bubba has always been something intriguing. And even though you told the man that there was no need for a "Pretty Lady" mask, he still seemed to be trying to make himself pretty for you.
Swinging back and forth, you sometimes deliberately kick a small basket standing not far from the swing. You wanted to spend this evening alone with Bubba, away from this bloodthirsty house of maniacs. You want a more relaxed and romantic atmosphere. And Sawyer Jr. didn't seem to mind, after all, he loved to fulfill your wishes; seeing your bright smile and sparkling eyes is the best reward for this cute big guy.
Finally, there is a prolonged creak of the door, and you look up. Bubba closes the door and turns to face you, awkwardly fingering her fingers. You jump off the swing and approach the man. His dark hair was carefully combed, although it still stuck out in different directions; he was wearing a voluminous beige shirt, which he most likely kept in the closet for special occasions; the leather mask was carefully cleaned of blood residue. Copper eyes shifted their attention from you to foreign objects and back, looking for approval in your gaze. You couldn't help but appreciate his efforts.
"You're so pretty, honey," you purr, smiling, kissing Sawyer on the cheek; Bubba begins to babble something unintelligible, shyly twitching his shoulders, "Let's go."
Without waiting for his actions, you take the big guy by the hand and drag him towards the swing to grab the basket. Bubba immediately snatches it out of your hands, muttering something under his breath. Oh, this boy, he wants to be your faithful knight.
You walk across the field in search of the most convenient place for a picnic. You tell funny stories; tell what happened to you during the day; share your plans for the coming weeks with a man. And although this dialogue is one-sided, you hear how Bubba sometimes laughs at your jokes or squeezes your hand a little harder in agreement. These wordless conversations always inspired you with courage and a sense of security, something about it was so pleasant and even fabulous.
Bubba always loved touching you. So now, when you walked holding hands, the man was extremely happy. He literally jumped up and down, walking next to you. Without all these responsibilities to protect his family and chop down uninvited guests like ordinary pigs, Bubba felt joyful and calm in his own way. Right now, all he was focusing on was you. Your hair sparkling in the sun; soft skin; caring fingers squeezing his big palm; your bubbly laugh and pleasant voice. Bubba couldn't get enough of it. He never thought that such a wonderful girl would communicate with him, much less meet. You made his life a fairy tale.
When you reached some spacious clearing, you led Sawyer to a tree, gently snatching the basket from him and putting it in the shade. You take out a plaid bedspread that you recently found in the attic of the house and washed, and lay it out on the grass.
"Sit down," you say, pointing Bubba to the ground, and he obeys.
You pull out of the basket several plates with sandwiches, fruits and other food, distributing them on the surface of the blanket. You, of course, do not forget about the water, without which it would be impossible to do in such a strong heat.
Slowly eating snacks, you continue to talk to Bubba on abstract topics. It seems to really relax him after working with a noisy chainsaw for a long time. He leans on the tree behind him and wearily closes his eyes.
"Be careful," you giggle, brushing off the edges of the mask at Bubba's mouth; he opens his eyes in surprise and looks away, continuing his unintelligible babble, — Hey, baby, I didn't mean to offend you.
You kiss him on the lips.
Bubba looks at you dumbfounded, but then goes to meet you, clumsily answering. He draws patterns on your bare thigh with his fingers.
After a couple of minutes, you leave it in the shade and go further into the field, hoping to collect enough flowers. It seems to you that this wonderful boy lacks the same beautiful crown.
Picking up flowers turned out to be not such a big task: they grew literally everywhere, yellow heads with greenish-brown cores, small sanvitalia peeked out among the golden grass. It's not the first time you've seen these cute plants, but it's the first time you're going to weave an improvised crown out of them. The plan turned out to be successful: thanks to its rather long stems, pliably bending under your dexterous movements, the flowers clung to each other very well. After a good seven minutes, a weighty wreath of sanvitalia rested in your hands.
"Baby, close your eyes," you say, smiling, walking towards Bubba and putting your hands behind your back.
Sawyer gets a little tense from your playful tone, bending his whole body to the side to look at your hidden hands, but gives up, sighing and closing his eyes. You carefully approach the man and kneel in front of him, laying a wreath on his curly hair, slightly smoothing the dark curls with your hand.
"That's it," you whisper, touching Bubba's cheek with your palm, "Now my prince has his own crown."
A man opens his eyes just at the time when you lure him into another kiss. Soft and sensual. Your plump lips are circling over Bubba's inept mouth. You put one hand in his hair, guiding his head behind the back of his head to meet you, and lower the other on his neck, stroking the skin hidden by the rough surface of the shirt. The man squeals and goes limp under your caresses, leaning on a tree and grabbing you under the hips.
"We can continue when we get home," you coo into his lips, moving away a little.
You pull away from his grip and sit down next to him, feeling him blush. It took him at least five minutes to get his heartbeat back to normal.
Now Bubba is sitting and enthusiastically twirling a wreath in his hands. It seems he liked the sanvitalia. He slowly circles the delicate rapeseed petals with his thick fingers, imagining with what difficulty and desire you collected them and woven them together.
Then Bubba shudders and looks at the flowers with wide eyes. There was a big fluffy bee sitting on his arm, mincing over his skin. Bubba starts humming, getting your attention. At first you don't understand his actions, but when you notice a small insect, you giggle internally. He's so big, but he's afraid of bugs. You sit down closer to the man and touch his hand with your own, slowly moving your palm towards the beetle.
"Bubba, it's just a bee," you lightly stroke its furry back, and the insect, spreading its wings, rises up, "It pollinates flowers and allows the fruits that you love so much to grow."
You lift his chin with your hand and look into his sad eyes. Tears are streaming down his cheeks under the mask.
"And they also make honey," you kiss Bubba on the nose.
As soon as Sawyer Jr. calms down, you pack up all your things and help Bubba, who is still coming to his senses, get up. He will remember this shock for a long time.
"Come on, let's go home. What about sweet tea with cookies?"
You see how he actively nods and smiles, closing his eyes.
#slashers#slashers x reader#slashers x you#fanfic#bubba sawyer x reader#bubba sawyer#i love him#he's such a good boy#bubba is my sweet boy❤️#leatherface x reader
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"how she'd foisted the game of politics on him for her own agenda"
I've wondered for a while if you thought Jayce was aware of Mel's political maneuverings (making him a council member, and then "coaxing" him into the Hextech partnerships) or not. He comes across as very naive in the show, but that might just be cynicism speaking.
I think towards the beginnings Jayce is a starstruck young man still coming to grips with his own dizzying fame, and not quite grappling with the responsibilities of legacy that are inherent to such a far-reaching platform.
He's equally dazzled by Mel, and everything she represents: ambition, the desire for glory, the sly maneuverings needed to maintain power, the pleasures of reaping the rewards of one's labor.
Plus, she's super hot.
It all plays into her seduction of him, and explains why he's so easily led astray. She is, quite literally, the pinnacle of what success promises to give you: a sense of desires consummated and dreams fulfilled.
And make no mistake, Jayce is no pliant puppet. He wants to be seduced. He likes the attention. He is good at the political machinations. He enjoys the perks and privileges.
Even if Mel does lure him into the political sphere for her own ends, I'm sure there are moments where he rationalizes it: "It's for the greater good... It's where I belong... It's how I can make a difference."
(In a way, Jayce mirrors Jinx's own enticement via Silco down the darker path. Neither one is a passive victim. Both contain within themselves a potential and drive that their 'mentors' see and stroke for their own ends, even as there is genuine affection and care threaded into the dynamics).
By the series' end, Jayce has changed for the worse - and knows it. He's been confronted with success as a trap beyond the trappings. He's seen what being at the pinnacle can do to one's ideals, and how they can corrupt as insidiously as they promise to deliver.
By ep 9 - I absolutely think he's cognizant of the fact that Mel had her own agenda when she chose him. But he also realizes the agenda was to empower Piltover into a city where conflict could be solved with words rather than warfare, and where technology eased everyday lives instead of destroying them with weapons.
He's met Mel's mother by then. He's seen what his partner/gf/mentor is attempting to distance herself from. He's seen firsthand what a bloodbath a potential war between Zaun and Piltover would be.
And he's killed a child, and can't stand the idea of more lives destroyed through his Hex-tech dream.
So yes. He's aware. He's also seen the flipside, and decided to follow Mel's example by choosing his own path - the path of peace.
(In FnF, this gets curtailed when Zaun declares war anyway. In such a situation, I can imagine it fostering a deep sense of bitterness and hopelessness in Jayce. I can also imagine him begin to question everything: the worthiness of Hex-tech, his attempts to play politics, Mel's own hand in pushing him into the role, the lives lost and potential unrealized.)
(Jayce in FnF is an extremely disillusioned young man. Alas, it's only going to get worse...)
#asks#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane silco#silco#arcane jayce#jaycle talis#forward (never forget)/xoxo#forward but never forget/xoxo#meljay#arcane mel#mel medarda
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Can you elaborate on what Salem meant with the "[...]when we could replace [these humans] with what they could never be?" bit of your recent post comparing her with Ruby? Because I feel like you either didn't address that or the point sort of flew over my head. Like, what else does she mean by replacing them?
my reading of the line is “why spend our lives trying to redeem these humans [before the gods] when we could replace [the gods]”—ie her proposed alternative to fulfilling the divine mandate is rebellion.
this is something i’ve talked about a lot before (<- if you poke around in my archive you’ll find it pretty easily) but in the essentials my argumentation for this reading is:
first, that “replace the gods” has much stronger congruence with salem’s characterization than does “replace humans.” she founded her rebellion upon the idea of humankind usurping their “old masters” in order to “perfect their own design” and told ozma very directly that they could supplant the brothers. this has been her driving ambition for quite literally millions of years!
in contrast, even now, salem thinks of humanity as “strong, brave, and resourceful,” recounts the discovery of dust as proof of human “passion, resourcefulness, and ingenuity,” calls the capacity for hope humanity’s greatest strength, etc. and she also doesn’t seem to value ancient magic, particularly: she spends V4-5 coaching cinder to “remember that [magic] comes with a cost,” she used dust rather than her own magic to make monstra fly, she leverages her power over the grimm expansively but we can count the number of times she’s used ancient-human-magic on one hand.
the first time ozma came back, he found her living alone in a rotting hovel with a fairly well-maintained path leading right to her doorstep. he heard frightened whispers about a witch who “commanded dark powers” and lived in the wilds, but this was also an era when faunus were hunted down and kept in cages—that’s important context to hold in mind when we evaluate where those stories about salem came from. everything we see in the lost fable suggests that salem just kind of… existed on the outermost fringes of civilization and mostly wanted to be left alone.
so, for salem to express a sudden interest in… what, genocide? some kind of fucked up breeding program using the one of their four daughters who ended up with magic neither salem nor ozma expected her to inherit at all? strikes me as startlingly out of character.
second, that grammatically the line does make sense to read as salem stumbling over her words. the verb ‘redeem’ implies a subject to whom the verb’s object is redeemed. in order for redemption to occur, there needs to be a debt owed to somebody; in this case the creditor is the gods. ozma’s mandate is to redeem humanity on behalf of the gods. reading salem’s meaning as “replace the gods” requires only that she have the implied antecedent of “redeem […] before the gods” in mind. (in much the same way that ruby clearly had jaune’s usage of the phrase “make-believe” in mind when she spat that in his face!) given her long-standing, passionate hatred of the brother gods, i find this much more plausible than not.
and third, salem is profoundly upset in this scene. she’s rattled from the second ozma says “this isn’t what she asked of me.” and while he reveals everything he’s been keeping from her—reveals that the cause she supported on his behalf for years was all secretly in service to the gods who cursed her to eternal suffering and annihilated humanity out of spite—she curls in on herself (arms tightly folded, face tense, leaning back into the desk) but hangs on his every word. she’s upset! she’s pressing it down as hard as she can, but it’s clear that this hits her hard—so it makes sense emotionally that she’s not able to articulate herself with perfect clarity in the moment. and then of course ozma just walks out without asking for clarification or giving her a chance to explain herself, so if she did misspeak it’s not as if she has the opportunity to elaborate.
and then ozma either took her literal words at face value or (i think more likely) heard what she really meant and, forced to choose between staying with her and remaining true to his mandate, chose the mandate.
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The premiere of Gotham Knights was highly enjoyable as a tv show, plus being a batfamily fan I've got some tasty layers to unpack. This show clearly was crafted by people who have thought a lot about the batfamily characters and there are some really intriguing analogues, parallels, and echoes in the mix.
The gravitas centerpiece here really is Misha's portrayal of Harvey and he's showing what spn fans have known for years, how good Misha is at putting humanity on screen, opening himself up raw to it, and this time a character far more facile and fluid in his expressing of emotions (and knowing where this goes, far more volatile too). There's a genuine goodness and gentleness and sense of justice in Harvey that's going to make what's coming all that much more painful. Misha's showing both the compassion and the "hard charging" sense of command. I'm all tingly.
Another thought on Harvey and his roles: There's no Alfred in GK and there being no Jim Gordon either and the loss of both makes it a much darker AU to me. (And Cressida is not filling the hole no Alfred leaves). Who is bringing the notes that I would expect from Jim Gordon or from Alfred Pennyworth is Harvey Dent. Harvey, like Jim, one of the few decent people in a corrupt Gotham system, and a corrupted GCPD, who loves Bruce, and they worked together in their hopes for a better Gotham. Harvey's giving Turner emotional support, filling the Alfred role, Harvey's similar to Jim Gordon, a decent person trying to hold back the flood, and logistically Harvey might also wind up fulfilling the Jim Gordon role for the new batkids, a contact inside who can help them.
Carrie Kelley knows how to make an entrance. "He called me his little robin." She saved Batman, literally, Robins also save Bruce emotionally, so he's not doing this alone, and Carrie acted in that role too. They clearly were close, she is another adopted kid. I'm hoping we'll get to learn more about that relationship. How she became his eyes and ears. I LOVE HER. She is my favorite of the kids so far, although I think all the batkids are appealing. And like some other Robins, she vigilantes without becoming what Bruce became, without living in shadows. She doesn't seem eaten by the darkness. By whatever drives her to do this. Which may be why Bruce let her in and trained her. He needed the light by his side.
That line where Carrie tells Turner that Bruce said Turner was his hero caught at my heart. Bruce didn't want Turner to go down his path into the shadows. It seems this Bruce was scared of the darkness in himself. And maybe was scared of it taking over Turner because his parents were murdered, like Bruce's were. Turner has a little bit of echo for Dick Grayson--Dick uses the shadows, he doesn't live there like his adopted father does. Bruce shielded Turner to try to protect that light, similarly to how Bruce admired and was drawn to that aspect of Dick. There's a sad irony but also a hopeful note in the fact that despite Bruce's efforts, Turner won't be able to escape the bat legacy after all, however Turner is imo going to follow Dick's path. So even as he takes on the role of the vigilante, he's not going to let the darkness swallow him up the way Bruce feared it would if he brought Turner into the batcave. Why was Bruce so afraid of Turner letting the darkness eat him, maybe because Turner's background is so similar to his own. He projected onto Turner and feared Turner becoming exactly like him.
The pace and fight scenes moved along at a very good clip and I'm loving the gothic feel of it and the set decoration. The belfry is every bit as beautiful as I hoped.
Harper doing anything to protect her brother, and Cullen being very capable of taking care of himself and everyone else. I'm loving the Row siblings.
Duela is really really FUN. I expected to like her and I do. Also Harley Quinn exists in this world, presumably she's not dead like the Joker. No idea if Harley would ever get released to appear in GK but I am immensely intrigued by Duela's resentment of Harley while she's a bit like her. More hard-bitten, less idealistic. Even after she ditches Joker and chooses to be, well, more good than she was, if not exactly no longer villainous, Harley still has an idealism. Duela's outlook on the world is darker than Harley's.
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💖💚for unpopular ask
💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?
uhhh I have many. I would say my most unpopular are probably:
I don't care that the show had no big "endgame" ships. I actually appreciated it being left to interpretation on where we want the characters to go. And throwing them into relationships given where they are at in the end wouldn't have made much sense anyway. (beardjane was terrible but i don't count that as a 'big' ship lol. no one was shipping them. TOMATOES!!! -500/10). the show's focus was never romantic relationships to begin with fwiw so it's weird how much people center that in their conclusion about whether the show was good enough.
Ted going home to Henry was also Really Good and the Whole Point/Natural Conclusion of his arc.
I liked that RoyKeeley broke up. Didn't love where they went with it necessarily, and both of their characters deserved to be written soooo much better in s3, but I do think the breakup itself was a Good Thing that Needed to Happen for these characters to progress.
Given the season and events as they are written, I think Keeley is far more likely to get back together with Jamie immediately post finale than she is Roy. (I don't think she should get back together with either of them right away, mind you. My girl needs some time to not exist as part of a relationship, because she has clearly spent most of her life being in relationships and it has caused Problems to her sense of self worth that i am desperate for her to healthily address. And then I would ultimately very much like her to end up with both of them, lol. But I'm just saying finale Keeley totally WOULD get back together with Jamie).
In a very similar vein to all the above, a criticism i see ALL the time that absolutely drives me UP THE WALL is when people claim the writers fell into the ol' GirlBoss Slay trap with Keeley, where in order to make her an Independent Confident Businesswomen™️ they had to remove all romance from her storyline and claim that's why they broke roykeeley up. The writers wrote Keeley very extremely terribly in s3, do not get me wrong. But this argument that writers just hate romance and don't see how a woman can be successful and also be in love (when Rebecca, a very successful businesswoman with a major arc about wanting to find love is their lead female character, mind you), just feels like baseless ragey criticism from people mad about there not being a roykeeley endgame. Look, if that's what the writers were trying to do, they don't even come close to fulfilling the other end of that promise (trading her romance to make her a Caricature Slay Business Woman) because 1. they don't show Keeley becoming independent with her business at all (Rebecca just swoops in and saves the day) 2. they do a very poor job of showing her overcoming imposter syndrome and coming into her own and 3. after the breakup with Roy, they literally show her immediately jumping into another relationship. sooo. I think it's much more likely that the writers were attempting to show Keeley spiraling in the same patterns of self-destructive behavior she exhibited in s1 and s2. rather than attempting to wash away all her flaws I actually think they were trying to highlight and reflect on those flaws. Unfortunately they just did it very, very badly and left out the necessary other half of the arc that makes it compelling and successful: actually giving Keeley the space to recognize and reckon with those flaws. the problem is they too rarely let their own characters talk and have it out in meaningful ways. anyway.
💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?
Roy isn't like THAT but he's also not like that. you know. people are always falling in love with completely different made up versions they've got of him and then acting like their Roy is canon Roy. Idk who that guy is but he isn't Roy!!! ughhhhhh. sorry.
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Scott Moir: Solar eclipse at 29° Aries 4/21/23
On April 21, there was a solar eclipse at 29° Aries. Solar eclipses are like a supercharged new moon - the sun and moon meet in the same degree and sign- and represent beginnings or new energy coming in. The effect of a new moon can last a month, but an eclipse resonates for about 6 months. This eclipse is at the very end of Aries and makes an out of sign square to Pluto. This brings up themes of power and conflict, and in Aries this relates to independence and personal courage. Ways you're not being true to yourself or where you need to stand up for yourself might come up.
The positive traits of Aries - being straightforward, brave, being real without apologies or hiding are good ways to deal with what comes up in the next 6 months, while negative traits of Aries - hotheadedness, impatience, intolerance, reacting and not taking time to look deeper - will cause you more struggle or pain.
Scott's Jupiter is exactly 29° Aries. And his Jupiter is the apex of his Thor's Hammer which involves his Venus and Saturn as well. Your chart is interconnected, so what affects his Jupiter affects the entire configuration - the entire Hammer was lit up by the eclipse:
In a Thor's Hammer or any pattern in your chart, the planets are constantly talking to each other - they never stop. His Venus square Saturn makes you want relationship very much, but also can give the belief deep down that you're not worthy of what you truly want. So self esteem needs to be worked on. It can also make it difficult for you to express yourself. Saturn can delay things, so you have to learn certain lessons before you can reap rewards. Thor's Hammers require a ton of trial and error - you have to keep trying and trying and trying. But they also give you the drive to do so. So you see this with Scott in work - Jupiter being the top of the pattern and connecting to Saturn gives him unbelievable drive in his work. Years of working relentlessly to become better at skating paid off
This also gives him a drive to be in a relationship, but IF he's not in a good place with his self esteem, he won't necessarily find the fulfillment he wants in one. So what this eclipse is bringing by highlighting all this Aries energy is a nudge towards a greater sense of self worth, showing up for himself and not putting others or belonging first at his own expense. Putting your own oxygen mask on before helping others, as they say on airplanes. A solar eclipse literally blocks some of the light of the sun, so this process regarding himself is likely to be internal and not necessarily visible to the outside. But the Jupiter-Saturn part relating to work could show up in more independence or putting energy into something new in that arena
#vmastrology#scott moir#this eclipse affected aries libra cancer capricorn placements 25-29° the most#to a lesser degree also fixed placements 0-3°#sun and moon have already moved to taurus#i had a walk a relaxed morning and some chocolate - happy taurus season
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It Devours! Ramble
I should be going to be but instead have this rant about an amazing book
killing God but God is representation of your trauma, lies and repression and destroying it ultimately does nothing to solve the issue because ultimately the damage is coming from inside of and your own refusal to face how what happened still lurks in your life, and God was never really a god just a scared cornered animal acting out it’s own survival and it only has the status of a God because people are using it as a symbol to project their fears and hopes on, making it bigger and having it killed for their satisfaction
the world simply being as it is and people projecting different world views on it in their own feeble attempts at understanding and comfort
religion being primarily based in community and belief, fulfilling and yet also restricting. Science being primarily based in isolation and uncertainty, necessary for safety and yet eternally contaminated from its own ideals by human nurture. viewing reality from any angle ultimately guarantees bias and as such by witnessing and trying to understand the world we fundamentally misinterpret it and how at the end of the day the important thing is to be open to other perspectives and view points and to open yourself up to human connection even if it means being wrong, both in the technical sense and in the sense that you hurt someone even with the best intentions and those good intentions do not undermine the hurt
Nilanjana is amazing. I way over identify with her lonely girl who only needs work not friends routine
Carlos really hates local government and would be weirdly fine with seeing NighVale as a whole burn if it meant keeping the specific people he loves safe and that is very sexy of him
Loved Pamela. She’s just so much fun, well intended but terrible at communicating and that fits into the border themes of connection doesn’t it
the Joyous Congregation of the Smiling God really went off on the aesthetic. both the pamphlet and the slide show sermon where so fucking good, a perfect mix of creepy, spiritual and well intended. there just enough authentic about the ideology to make you understand why people would fall for it and actually believe in what they say with just enough so overtly wrong it’s unsettling
there was little hits of the old Strex here and there, but for the most part this had no continuity with years 2 or 3 and thats kinda fine because it manages to take the themes and aesthetics of what came before and weave it into something new and amazing. the dessert bluffs and Kevin timeline is totally broken but time is literally broken so...
I loved all the digressing and meanderings of the plot to focus on other set-random Nightvale characters rather than on the main plot and it really drives home the fact that Welcome to NightVale is about NightVale as a community rather than about any one protagonist or narrative. it makes that fact that you can pick up any piece of NighVale with no prior knowledge and jump right in work all the more because everyplace is just a small one in the grand mosaic that is NighVale where every person and every world view counts and this circles back around to what I was saying about community
and you know what lets circle back around to what I said about Carlos being willing to let Nightvale burn for his family and the lack of continuity with year three and there’s really 2 main things to say, the first being the slightly bizarre retcon to make Carlos’ otherworld stay 10 miserable years instead of 1 where he’s “just staying, not trapped” and how I think we can all agree that Carlos’ “come move to the dessert otherworld with me and abandon all your friends and family became this otherworld is so great for research and my science work babe” and the fact that they never really felt with how Cecil was straight up suicidal and deeply depressed for the later half of the year and the lack of actual resolution to what was going through Carlos’ mind when he decided to come back with absolutely no shown issue or effort, and it is so much weirder for Carlos to try to talk Cecil into moving to a place where he is actually secretly miserable
and the second thing about that is that when Carlos comes back he refers to importance of NightVale as a community rather than a place and how Cecil needs to reconnect wth the people around him and focus “on the everyone” and how Carlos really did primarily come back for Cecil and to be with Cecil and how he says that NightVale is where everyone Cecil loves lives and Carlos really have a very small protective domain of people considered his own
Cecil literally be used as a stand in for the concept of love and connection and dependability itself with Nilanjana contemplating of wanting to find her Cecil and wanting to be Cecil for someone, the emphasis on the radio tower where Nil and Darryl's relationship gets physical for the first time. It is weird to read a piece of Nightvale that doesn’t have Cecil's perspective coloring every thing and never allowing me into his mind but its kinda cool because we instead just see him as a distant pillar of love, support and community and how those are ultimately the things the book believes is universal to science and religion and how concerning that then kinda makes Cecil’s statement that he would give up all of Nightvale for Carlos, even if he would much rather not, but also how good it is that Cecil is allowed to be selfish about something when he has had so much of life decided for him, being prophesied to be the voice of the community, being a tree who’s fruit is fed to the people, who’s truck is chopped down and used to make their shelter and how he nearly did almost once give up all of Nightvale for Carlos by going the the Otherworld with him
It was great seeing Abby even if only for a second
An entire book in the Nightvale style of deeply unsettling and profound and funny is a wonderful idea, with human nature so beautifully captured with in the pages and prose
the appearance of happiness being valued above the actual emotion. teeth as a fragmented symbol, being a part of something natural being a small segment of a symbol of joy and goodness and of course that piecemeal symbol being divorced from context and being made so creepy in that isolation, teeth both as a part of smiling and a part of biting, piece in isolation that could be either joy or devouring
always love me good cult
always love killing God and the horrible thing it makes of us
always love the conflict between understanding and belief
by the way, and I think this is a good thing, Never thought that any of the devoured people where dead. it would fuck with status quo to hard if Larry or Rico where gone. made it more a mystery of how they where going to comeback than an actual threat and thats a good thing
and you know how Cecil never actually talks about Homophobia or racism or any kind of discrimination is his show? and then we step outside of his heavily edited, censored perspective and it turns out theirs still antisemitism and racism and sexism and stuff like that in Nightvale? I think it makes me appreciate Cecil more to know that his pride in his identity and his dedication to showing a mostly egalitarian world, is intact a dedicated choice that he makes about his own identity and not just a passive aspect of his environment. Cecil overall came across as a lot more put together and reliable from other perspectives than his own. I would not have expected Cecil to be able to cook or be an emotional pillar right after his nice almost died. I think he might just have really low opinion of himself and it comes through in the show.
It can be really hard to tell the difference between Cecil being dumb because he’s putting on a show for the audience and trying to get around censorship Cecil being dumb die to reeducation side affects and timeline shenanigans, and Cecil being dumb because he just is. theres so many layers of truth and deception
religion being about the community, belief and interpretation of it all even when the facts are horrible
My god Carlos would have killed so many people and 1000% believed that it was City Council hating him enough to cut off their nose to spite their face and never once stopping to question his remarkably biased assumption. He really took the conflation of hero and scientist hard and is complete willing to force the issue with his own self rightness. Baby Girl you are so deranged!!! and he’s completely head over heels for Cecil. nice to know it goes both ways
I would like to get some more Darryl and Nil feels but its 11:54 and I have work tomorrow
also catch me think that Luisa is ‘like that’ as a result of being re-educated a bit to hard after having a mental break down from watching one of her co-workers die from Strex. two scientists went missing that day and we still don’t know what happened. and least one could have died
Nils absolutely came to town later and not with the rest of the research group
Carlos really killed God with gasoline and a flare gun when It was helpless and pinned. Darryl really looses faith in God when that faith is corroborated by fact and the truth can never be as real as the fantasy. Nil and Darryl really don’t work as a couple blue they just don’t have comparable word views and Darryl winds up wth the childhood best friend he shares a life and community with. Nil hooking up with Kareem would create perfect symmetry of scientist and radio host, so they clearly won’t work because it not their story its just one their would parallel, but her trying for a Cecil stand in works thematically due to all that Cecil represents within this story and Kareem is closer to Nils world view as a acts as the rational outsider to Cecil’s world view in the podcast
Hey, hey. invisible food and how you may or may not be eating anything, about how devouring is about becoming full, finding nutrients and fulling your body and taking care of yourself. you are flesh and you take in solid sunshine to be able to move and live and choosing to take the risk of starving yourself, of putting nothing in your body when it needs something, hearing your stomach growling and contracting around imaginary food who’s taste you made up, because it would ruin the fun to find out if you were actually taking care of yourself. Jon Peters constantly insisting that he is a farmer because he is unsure if he actually is a farmer, how he lives in fear and shame that his identity, the identity passed down from his father, built with the brother he lost to a distant war, is actually a lie, that he failed at what he was supposed to do because of the facts of his environment and how he decided to make up a story, spin a fantasy rather than admit the truth. how Nightvale eats empty air and no one is willing to admit the truth of their hunger because nightvale is a town of lies, secrets and stories
contrasting that with the flesh and weight of the smiling god. how for all its lofty thoughts and belief at the end of the day its just blood and crunching teeth. what seems like a lie, a fantasy, a story is really just plain naked truth, the blood and sweat and bile that we are, how we are just lumps of grey matter draped in bone and at the end of the day we die and that Charlie Bair who wanted his ghost license so he could continue on after death, Charlie Bair who will one day pay 10000$ to have his brain scooped out and turned into a cyborg slave of the smiling god, how bodies are just parts, how his fear of death turned to eternal pain. the smiling god devours. you are food. you will die
a science that chooses lies and fantasy and a religion that chooses facts and flesh
there is no one with out the other
Kevin and Darryl and Kasper and church being a business that can’t feel like a business to all but those in charge. a cybernetics company and a church that looks like a cheap office building
community being death, love being clear so all you see is the real, practical things on the other side of it, love being what is, love being the act of going about your life, the fox eats itself, the fox kills its pack, you kill the fox, skin it and wear its face over your own, what could be fire or trees with what could be chemicals or water, what would harm one or save the other but you don’t know if friendship is toxic, destructive, mutualistic or beneficial, the many faces of a relationship
Nils throwing up in church, in that yellow costume that hides all of what she is, that makes her just one in a crowd, you go to church hungry but she ate her fill and this becomes her salvation because it allows her to escape the pull and get away from the locked room of cultists she’s pretending to be a part of
starving and feasting. devouring and imagining
this wound up being more about the visceral then the communal
stand by for something more coherent, there is to much to say about this book
tldr; understanding of the world is fundamentally flawed due to human subjectivity so its only by opening ourselves to other world views can we find understanding
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By popular demand (6 people), let's start the classpecting 👏👏 warning there will be spoilers for Acts I, II, and possibly III of Dragon Quest XI
Starting us off we have the twins, Serena and Veronica, who I classpected as a Page and a Witch of Light.
For a refresher, classpects or God Tiers are made up of two things: a characters Aspect and their Class, that of which determines how they interact with/use their aspect. Rant under the cut.
Light as an aspect revolves heavily around Knowledge, Luck, and Narrative Relevancy. That last one is important for this.
The Witch class is the second most active of the classes, described as someone who controls and/or manipulates with or through their aspect. The Page is a passive class, though also very active in nature, described as someone who invites the exploitation of their aspect as a weapon and taps into its potential; they're also described as being the weakest starting class with a marked lack of their aspect, sometimes overcompensating for it.
Veronica, as a Witch of Light, is in control of the proverbial spotlight. She draws it towards herself in every scene she's in, taking center stage. Serena, as a Page of Light, lacks her sisters charisma and tends to fall back and away from it. As Keepers they share heavily in the Knowledge portion of Light, protecting the story of the Luminary and acting as his guides, though Serena leans a little further into it. Veronica overshadows Serena in a way that could almost be read as her pushing Serena OUT of the spotlight to keep her safe.
Now end of act I and act II is where all this REALLY comes out to me. When Veronica dies she is fully embodying her classpect. She shuts HERSELF out of the spotlight and shoves it firmly onto the rest of her teammates, giving us Knowledge in the form of the mini chapters and giving them more Narrative Relevancy. The one who receives the most of these throughout act II is Serena, who Veronica has now made front and center. Serena comes into her own and takes up the mantel of Light player with a huge increase of her abilities, determined to find the Knowledge necessary to drive Mordegon out, keeps herself and her companions firmly in the Spotlight, and (using Light in a much more literal sense) drive the darkness out of their world.
She looses all of this in act III when Veronica is revived and we're back to the same but I am Not looking, I refuse to See.
BUT YA they fulfill their 'expected' task as Light players by being their groups primary source of knowledge but they ALSO play around a lot with the Narrative Relevancy, which is a part of the Light aspect I don't see lots of people talk about!! So here I am, ranting about it lol.
#bee buzzes#oughboy gotta tag the game#sorry unsuspecting victims youve been homestucked#dqxi#dragon quest xi#dqxi serena#dqxi veronica#homestuck#classpect#homestuck classpect
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You know what, I only made one pithy post about this a year and a half or more ago so
I'll make a post breaking down my official position on that one H/bomberguy video criticising R/WBY:
Chiefly, I believe his style of narrative analysis (or lack thereof) is fundamentally broken. He doesn't really have any coherent drive except narrative literalism (and cynicism) and having forcibly sat through his videos he's never really been good at articulating why stories should work as they do, he just says so (and almost always in a way inappropriate to the story's setting). It's really effective for the platform he works on, because there's a false authority assigned to YouTubers and the positions they take on topics without due justification that a rando on Reddit or Tumblr couldn't get away with (particularly on fandom topics - where we're usually otherwise equal - what do you think of when you hear Alt Shift X? I think Alt Shift X can be pretty decent, but we know he has a certain credit in the A/SOIAF fandom that other fandom writers don't - and he always cites his sources and especially his Tumblr ones, so it's not something that the author can totally control). He just says that things don't make sense and I guess I have to believe him.
A corollary of what the platform engenders is that he's provocative. This can be effective for his political content but in my eyes he seems to enjoy dunking on other men more than actually substantially supporting a feminist cause, and I think his interest in criticising narrative comes from a similar dark place. I just don't buy his bullshit sorry. This is really more of a personal point but it's worth mentioning for my own bias against his criticism because I think he's an intellectual charlatan. I don't care how much money he donated to charity, I'm talking about his Internet personality (I don't know who he is as a person).
He claims in the R/WBY video that he's always respected Monty Oum (but character assassinates the writers) yet there are forum posts on SomethingAwful documenting his disgust for Monty and anime fans, and the fans who see themselves in Monty (who was self-made), implying that the enjoyment of R/WBY comes from a place self-insertion and wish fulfilment. I think it's important to establish that he could have changed his position on Monty in making the video, but he does specifically claim to always have had held an admiration and I think that's disingenuous at best. He clearly has a bone to pick with R/WBY and its ostensibly embarrassing and self-involved fanbase and it shows in his analysis. That's why he's interested in implying that the writers of the show are perverts sexually attracted to their female characters. Most damningly his classic move of pitting Monty and the writers against each other was pioneered by R/WBY fans who rejected the direction of the show after his passing and so grew the hatewatching fanbase which (similarly) gained traction on YouTube. To weaponise a glory of the auteur who had an untimely death in order to demonise a show you don't like is actually beyond pathetic.
I don't believe this was necessary to criticise R/WBY but this is why I feel he's ultimately disingenous in his analysis of R/WBY. I also think that if you believe a work to be a product of sexual perversion, you probably can't take the narrative all that seriously; it's two hours of thankless work, really. This is what I mean about lacking a sensible narrative lense, because he doesn't really have one. If the narrative is unserious, then you treat it unseriously; if you want to treat perversion seriously, then you don't beat-by-beat try to intuit magical fairytale worldbuilding according to your irresponsibly applied analysis. The tone of a work needs consideration.
The character assassination (because that's what it is) of the writers implicating them as sexual perverts, writing R/WBY from a place of sexual perversion, is enough for me to seriously question his intentions, particularly given the way he framed the information (with you to draw your own conclusions about, say, Miles saying Yang is the hot one, or dresses provocatively, when she is seventeen). I think it's seriously irresponsible to use supposed feminist ends to bolster your own poor argumentation and it's just too revealing of the frailty of his position and his overall channel aims. It's telling that he left out the fact that the writers have a definite position on sexist anime tropes, which is that of rejecting them, one example being they specifically eliminate any chance of your regular disgusting 'panty shot'. I don't know the writers myself, but I'm not trying to evaluate their personality, I'm trying to evaluate their work, which I feel successfully remixes regressive gender tropes in ways that work in the story and the 'male gaze' is largely absent. Let's not get into the Heroine's Journey. Nevertheless, precious little is eroticised in R/WBY (and even when it is, it tends to be subverted e.g. 'pervy uncle' Qrow who makes up his stories about women).
The paucity of this offense regarding R/WBY - something that is partly up to an individual to decide regarding the gender regression, or lack thereof - is quite telling about the rest of his argumentation. I couldn't tell you what H/bomberguy dislikes about R/WBY except that he thinks its fans are stupid and he doesn't like mythic storytelling or his favourite anime being referenced by the anime he doesn't like in a way he doesn't like either.
So if there's no cohesion to his analysis, how can I possibly address it? It seems that we simply have irreconcilable differences in approach to narrative. The fact that I've not seen his subsequent sequel (if he ever made it) about the rest of the show really limits the discussion too, since the first three volumes establish the foundation of the show (and to be honest my favourite volumes are V4-V8, which transform the setting).
I wrote this post out because I have mutuals who've never seen R/WBY but probably know H/bomberguy made a video on it, and for other R/WBY fans who wondered how I handled that criticism - since I am overall a relatively well-documented apologist for the show.
I get that H/bomberguy has a reputation as being a Lefty-ish YouTuber who was one of those who popularised the scathing, several-hour long critiques of popular media. I think that this is an embarrassing genre overall and done well by few, and is responsible for fandom discourse predicated upon ego, provocation, and clickbait; further, the length just implies an inability to convey an effective point overall, and makes it impossible to write a succinct rebuttal. I am thankfully saved by the fact H/bomberguy cannot narratively intuit his way out of a paperbag.
Finally, I think that those in Star Wars Prequel Trilogy glass houses shouldn't throw stones at geeky R/WBY fans. Unless you defend the PT from a monomythic perspective - which he does not do - I can't take your opinion on anything sincerely.
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I love your characters because they seem alive. And I realize that a big part of creating them to feel real is making them humans, inevitably faulty. But I find that it’s incredibly difficult to let that character be an asshole, say the wrong thing, fail, hurt someone they love. That’s an issue, of course, given that those are the things they need in order to grow and fulfill their story ark. How do you approach it? Making things the right amount of imperfect, knowing when to give into the character’s wants, and when to hold them back?
Wow first of all, thank you for saying this! 🥹 Legitimately, one of the nicest compliments to receive, and something I'd actually been thinking about recently when I felt like a character was 'too perfect' in one of my fics 😂. It’s something I still have to actively remind myself about while writing.
Damn, how to go about answering this...lol
Honestly, there isn’t one approach I have, and I wanna think that there isn't really a right or wrong 'amount of imperfect' either. It's hard to know when you haven't done enough/you've done too much, and it's sort of subjective.
I think, generally, characters' flaws are what create conflict in a story. And conflict is what drives a narrative for me. It adds suspense and tension, and creates circumstances for characters to learn and grow. You can also think of it the opposite way: what conflict could I write to help expose this character's flaws? And what conflict would expose their strengths? (because you need both in a story)
Sometimes, if I do an outline for a fic, I literally write what the characters' arcs are/what it is they need to learn or how they each need to grow. For example, for my charlos boarding school AU fic, I wrote this in my outline:
What are each of their arcs?
Charles -> accepting all of himself, putting happiness before duty, realizing that he’s good enough
Carlos -> he can't always fix everything/protect Charles all the time - sometimes shit isn’t simple, learning to balance his friendships and relationship
This wasn't everything that these characters needed to learn and grow about, but it did help me to determine how they might react in a relevant situation. Charles' inability to accept himself/put happiness over duty is sort of the conflict that sparks the narrative journey, and then Carlos' need to protect Charles ends up being a source of conflict to carry us into the 'third act', so to speak.
But tbh, I don't usually think about the story in that way while I'm writing. It does help to break it down like that though if I'm struggling with where to take a story. Sometimes, a character's flaws are something you plan ahead, and sometimes, they reveal themselves during the process of writing. Neither approach is right or wrong!
I often like to pinpoint a character's 'fatal flaw' or 'red flag', in a sense 😅. I feel like my own is not knowing how to say 'no,' as well as sometimes lying about/concealing my true feelings to avoid conflict. If you can pinpoint what this is for a character, it helps sooo much in making them & their actions feel real.
You can also examine instances when you've made a mistake or overreacted or done something you regret, and understand why you acted that way or what triggered it. I'm kinda extra - when I watch reality tv (read: love island), I psychoanalyze everyone 🤣. I'll be telling my roommate like, "Wow, the reason Liv keeps trying to pick a fight about who's being 'fake' is because that's one of her insecurities." Lmao.
Last thing I'll add is that even if a character isn't aware of why they feel or act a certain way, you should know why. Come up with a reason, whether it be a trauma from their past or an ideology that they've inherited from their parent or authority figure. If you don't know why a character is acting a certain way, then it won't make sense/feel real to a reader either.
I don't know if I've really answered your question bc I don't fully know the answer tbh! But I hope some of this is helpful. And feel free to ask me about a specific fic if you're curious how I arrived at certain choices! ❤️
#i had to really think about this...#...and I still don't think I've arrived at a satisfying answer haha#but it's a difficult one#anon#ask
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INTRODUCING ZEKE WOLF. A SHIFTER FROM AMITY PARK.
Growing up with a pack of shifters was always normal for Zeke. Not much phased him growing up because he’d sorta seen it all. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to experience the type of normal that would be weird to his family. When hunters came for his family it was traumatic, sure, but it also taught Zeke a valuable lesson. You’re born to die. It’s something he’s lived by ever since, going as far as getting the words tattooed on his skin.
For a lot of people seeing half of your pack/family get slaughtered would be pretty devastated. Zeke didn’t mourn the way others did. He saw his purpose was revenge. As he grew into his strength he began to brutally slaughter the hunters that killed so many of his own.
Meeting Colin Hopper was something that would change his life forever. His loyalty to the man is undying and although Zeke has opinions on some of the things he does he knows better than to voice them out loud.
He left his family first chance he got to work with Hopper, settling into Amity Park to blend in. He thrived off of the power that came with working for Hopper and only held back when told. In truth, Zeke was very sadistic and when he killed it wasn’t pretty. With his heightened senses and ability to rip someone’s throat out he has the power to fulfil the job he was assigned.
The Puckett family was the worst thing that ever happened to him. Zeke had been so confident that he could pull it off, he always did. Then that pathetic baker walked in as Zeke literally had Lilla and her grandmother in his grasp. The worst part of that all wasn’t spending a bit of time behind bars. No, he can’t remember where that damn cottage is and all he wants to do is find it and finish the job. Unfortunately, Hopper put a hold on that but Zeke is itching to take his plans out and get the job done this time.
He truly wonders if something happened that night that could be…bad. He knows his claws were out and he remembers the smell of blood. He can’t help but wonder if the young girl was hurt in the cross fire or if he’s just overthinking it. It drives him insane and some nights he has dreams about it and what could be.
Even at a young age Zeke loved stories and writing. He would read a lot and though he wasn’t the best at coming up with his own ideas he was able to tell other’s in a way that would make even the biggest skeptic believe. Sure, sometimes he skews the truth once in a while but that’s mostly to keep Hopper’s name on the down low. He quite enjoys his side job as a journalist and extra money is something Zeke would never complain about.
In the free time he has he does enjoy reading still as much as he loves going out. The minute he got a taste of the nightlife he never looked back. He enjoys drinks and, he works for Hopper so drugs are often involved. It really depends on his mood on if he’d rather stay home and read or go out and have a few drinks or so. The man is a man of pleasure and has no problem in indulging in the finer things in life. Being on Hopper’s payroll has always helped with that.
He doesn’t like having a lot of attention on him, given his line of work. He lives in a humble house and doesn’t do much to draw attention to himself unless someone pushes him over the edge. He prefers to lurk in the shadows and attack at the perfect moment.
Scorpio sun, Taurus moon, Scorpio rising
Song: Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran
Bisexual
#🐺 this is bloody knuckles; i’ll show you how to play | ABOUT#🐺 the reason i punched a hole in wall back home | HEADCANON#tw: murder#tw: drugs#just general tw in general he is a walking tw except these tags often#tw: blood#tw: death
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