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yanderesimps · 3 years

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Destined torture

Yandere Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

(Warnings: Unrequited love, forced relationships, forced intimacy, angst, obsession, soulmates AU)

❁-----------------------------------------------❁

It wasn't easy to avoid the blonde when you're the childhood friend of one of his main targets for bullying. Izuku Midoriya, the boy from across the street with a somewhat concerning all might addiction.

You two met in the park one day, stumbling over as you loomed over the greed haired boy as he played in the sandpit. The two of you had sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, always keeping about a meters distance between yourselves as you eyed each other quietly as shy children do.

Until you mumbled about how you liked his all might action figures and his eyes lit up like the night sky, filled with unimaginable excitement. It had all gone up from there of course but now instead you'd both graduated from harmless kiddies to slightly less harmless adolescents.

That of course meant that you had the pleasure to often have deal with the rampaging temper and relentless bullying of a certain Katsuki Bakugou. That wasn't to say that he'd always be such a brat, only ever giving you the brunt of his lashings when he would spy you with Izuku in the school halls.

For years he mercilessly hassled Izuku and it had only ever gotten worse when your classmates had begun to develop their quirks. Izuku, much to his dismay, had to face the bitter truth that he was indeed quickless.

You were almost afraid that your quick would've widened the divide between you two but it somehow in a weird way brought you two even closer if they was humanly possible. By all means, your quick wasn't flashy and explosive like Bakugou's but it had been noteworthy, nothing that get you into UA but respective nevertheless.

When Bakugou would begin his precise schedule of tormenting Izuku, you were steadfast in defending your best friend much to Bakugou's annoyance.

But when you spied Bakugou in the halls today, you'd expected the worst. Your lips twisted into a blatent frown which could make even Endeavour's fire run cold.

Bakugou approached, his hands shoved into his baggy trouser as he stood in front of you, his delinquent friend thankfully no where to be seen. You two stood in raging silence that seemed to ring louder in your ears that your thoughts of contempt for the boy in front of you.

Pulling a hand out of his trousers, you almost expected a bloody nose but soon found yourself staring at a crinkled envelope. You stared at the letter for a few moments before darting your unimpressed glare back to meet the red pupils that stated right back at you.

"Is this a new tecnique? Come to defeat me through the power of paper cuts?" You tittered, resisting the growing earge to swat the paper from his hand.

The blonde clicked his tongue at your sarcasm, thrusting the letter closer to you. "It's an invitation, dumbass, my birthday is next week and the hag made me give you this since she thinks we're friends or whatever"

"Oh my goodness! Why didn't you just say so? I'll make sure to put this in my files, right in the "remember to burn" section" You sang in fake glee, your mocking joyful expression soon falling back into its usual scowl when in the company of the blonde.

Bakugou's eye seemed to twitch slightly at your works and you could practically smell the caremel scent in the air heating up. Surprising, he didn't even say anything and simply turned on his heel to leave. "Well that was...boring" you said with almost a huff. In the past, making bakugou angry was something you actively avoided like the plague but now? It was nothing more than a fun family activity.

So when you didn't feel the flesh of your cheeks burning from 3rd degree burns it was nothing less than a shock. You could almost felt the bright heavens radiating down upon you. Had katsuki bakugou finally developed an actual personality that didn't involve being a dick?

Of course not.

But that still didn't explain why he was inviting you to a fucking birthday party.

It practically struck you like a brick when you realised what this meant.

Bakugou was now one year older

It was the day that everyone seemed to yern for. The day of the mark. A mark that would tell you the name of your soulmate. A mark that would appear on your 16th birthday.

It was bakugou's birthday.

He was turning 16 in one week.

And all that was just more gloating material.

There were quickless people which was bad enough. If you were quickless, you were seen as weaker, lesser and not normal but having no soul mark? It was practically a death sentence. You were seen as unlovable, unlikeable and unwanted. You were abnormal and disgusting. And ever since a certain blonde had developed a knat for explosions and Izuku hadn't, never having a soulmark was the first bullet in Katsuki's rifle when it came to his conquest of making Izuku's life a living nightmare.

And now for the next few months until your birthday it was all you two were going to hear about.

Heaven's gates swung closed right then and there and the pits of hell threatened to swallow you right there.

"Y/n"

You suddenly snapped out of your inner dialogue to see Deku approaching you with a slightly worried expression. Perhaps you'd been spending too much time standing silently while imagine your future months of torment from bakugou.

You pulled an eneasy grin and rubbed the back of your neck nervously. "No it's fine! Just fine!"

The boys face lit up with his classic smile that made your own heart warm. "great! Wanna get lunch then?" Clasping his arm you nodded with a stark grin. "Let go. I'm starving"

....

...

"What's you favorite type of coffin, Izuku?"

_______

There was no amount of pleading that would have gotten you out of this situation, no matter how hard you pleaded to your mother. She didn't even care that your funeral would be expensive.

So now here you were.

In a dress.

Your hair dolled up.

Make-up.

Planning out your 13th reason why.

Standing outside bakugou's home with a present clasped in your hands, the decently loud chatter within taughting you like the drums of War but then again you were practically about to dive into the trenches.

Your numb finger pressed the doorbell, your heart seemed to stutter at the sound of a nearing voice.

"Katsuki! Open your presents later!!" screeched a voice of whom you could only assume was miss Bakugou. The door opened the woman in front of you visable brightened as she glowed down upon you.

"Y/n, what a pleasant surprise, get in here! Katsuki's in the back garden" The woman's mood had practically done a full 180° at a mere glance of your slightly shaky form. "I'll take that, now go in and have fun with the others" She hummed with a wild smile as she took the neatly wrapped present from your sweaty palms. You merely nodded in response, finding that your throat had closed in on itself making it impossible to even swallow down your initial fear.

You could hear the distant cheering, chatting and occasional parent's voice as you walked further into the house, closer to the clear glass slide door that revealed the decoration littered back garden.

There only kids you could see were the possy that would always surround the blonde haired boy, the occasional guy you'd know from class and almost ever girl that would drop to their knees in the hope of katsuki bakugou noticing them.

Most never glanced at you, some glared at you in disgust but one particular pair of red eyes were fixated on you the moment you stepped in the garden.

You nearly cried tears of joy that the make up had taken so long since it seemed you'd actually missed the majority of the festivities. "In and out. This'll all be over soon" You hummed, trying to pathetically console yourself.

You'd made a beeline for the corner with the least amount of people, seating yourself on a lawn chair before quickly pulling out your phone, ideally hoping that you'd allowed to spend the next hour just lazily scrolling through your phone before grabbing a slice of cake and leaving.

Sadly, that wasn't what fate had instore. You looked up from your phone screen as a shadow suddenly loomed over you. "What? Not even gonna give me a happy birthday" Bakugou sneered, glaring down at you. Your own expression twisted into the perfect rendition of what the word "hatred" meant. Your eyes narrowed, your nose crumpled and lips fell into a neat frown. "I'm sure you'll find a way to survive without my half heart congratulations"

The boy above you nearly smiled at your words as he clicked his tounge and sat on the chair next to you. "Not even curious to find out who my soulmate is?" You raised and eyebrow but your expression remained the same. You took a mere glance at his wrist, only to see it covered before returning your gaze. That seemed to satisfy the boy in front of you as his grin widened visably.

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm just praying for the poor soul that is destined to be with you for the rest of their days"

Bakugou just laughed and then left, leaving you in a puddle of confusion. He should've already gotten his soul mark, so why wasn't he parading it around like he did with everything?

You didn't give it another though, returning to your phone for the next while and brushing off the unsettling feeling the crawled up your spine.

__________

It wasn't surprising that they waited for the big reveal after bakugou had blown out his candles. You were just mildly aggrivated that such torture was continously being forced upon you rather than just letting you go home.

Everyone had crowded around the table where the cake sat. You, for some reason, found yourself stood at the corner of the table nearest to bakugou who stood in the center alone as the other surrounded the other sides.

Ms Bakugou had placed a hand on your shoulder and who you looked up to ask her why she was so clingy, she merely silenced you with a toothy smile.

She seemed to be excited about something.

Everyone had begun a countdown as katsuki raised his hand to everyone, lightly gripping his sleeve that hid the name of his future beloved.

You simply joined in hopes that the scene would go by faster, you didn't even look when he pulled down the arm of his jacket. You only notice the silence that followed after.

Then you noticed the eyes burrowed upon you.

The tightening grip on your shoulder.

Bakugou's glare.

How he was lightly smiling.

Then you noticed your first name neatly written into the flesh of his wrist.

The world seemed to slow then it had all soon went by like a blur just like you. Reality seemed to slip away at the seems and all you could do was slightly nod at the voices of congratulations and bright smiles of bakugou's parents. Disoriented, eyes pickled with tears as your dry throat struggled to find words.

Why was Katsuki still smiling?

__________

You'd been branded that day.

"Katsuki's girl"

Always finding a firery arm latched around your waist or shoulders as you were paraded down that halls like a spectacle for the ages.

You weren't allowed to speak to Izuku anymore or any guy for that matter. It wasn't like any of them risked their necks to talk to you anyway ever since Katsuki claimed you, broadcasting his mark like a trophy, a fitting collar that was locked around your neck.

You found yourself seated with the popular girl at every lunch when Katsuki didn't cling to you, people who you once years to be next to and chat with. Now it just felt empty. Empty conversation. Empty smiles. Empty happiness.

You would sometimes catch Izuku's eye in the hallways as a river of words went unsaid between you two. Then katsuki would tell him to "fuck off" before dragging you to class.

Life wasn't fun anymore. It wasn't even livable.

You barely realised how the month passed and your birthday was right around the corner. In fact, it was tomorrow.

"We'll have matching pairs then-? Hey, idiot, you listening to me?"

"Yes, Katsuki"

"good. I would hate to think you were ignoring me again" His palm gripped your chin like a face, tilting your head before he smashed his wet lips to yours. It was clumsy. It made you feel disgusting.

A hand sorely gripped your thigh, snaking up the helm of your school skirt. You didn't even bother to swat him away there days when he got handsy. It just encouraged him more to discipline you.

"I'll make sure to get you a great present, you'll love it" You knew what he meant by that, it made your heart drop and stomach threaten to heave.

Bakugou soon got up to leave with a group of his friends, leaving you to wallow in you own desperation. You glanced at your wrist. Katsuki had been baring down upon it every day to see if there was even an inclination that his name was appearing.

In reality it didn't really matter, it was just gloating privileges for him now, a way of bragging that you two were destined and you would be hs fine piece of ass for life.

You stroked the reddened skin, it had been sore lately.

"please..."

"Please...anyones name...just as long as its not his"

__________

"Come on, Y/n!"

"Show us!"

"Its obvious what it is gonna say"

You didn't even bother to check what your wrist said when you woke up this morning. Katsuki made you promise that you wouldn't and that you would wait for school.

So here you were, seated in the cafeteria with the majority of the class surrounding you a Katsuki. You could practically feel the pride radiating from him right now.

"go ahead, babe, show em"

And so you did, jutting out your arm and revealing the name to all around.

It was silent again. You expected squeals of jealously, congrats and awe.

Silence. It was louder than any sound imaginable at that moment .

You looked up from where your listless glare had fallen onto your lap to the wide eyes all baring down upon you.

"Oh...hard...luck, Bakugou"

Your eyes fell to your wrist.

"Izuku"

Perhaps fate wasn't so cruel after all.

#bakugou katsuki #yandere bakugo katsuki #Yandere bakugou #Yandere Katsuki #Mha #my hero acadamy #izuku midoria x reader #Katsuki bakugou x female reader #bnha katsuki x reader #Yandere

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imaginesntingz · 3 years

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Imagine Gaara comforting you when the depression and anxiety hit

Trigger Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Swearing(?)

A/N: Hey y’all! This is my first post on this blog. I hope you all enjoy it <3 Please don’t copy any of my works. It’s all originally written and I put a lot of time and effort into my pieces. Please ask me before reposting.

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You were curled up in bed staring into nothingness. The past week or two you’ve tried to keep it at bay, but you felt the ever lingering depression creeping its way in. Nothing in particular happened. It was just always there. There wasn’t a time you could remember it not being there. Sometimes it was muffled like background noise and other times the volume was turned up so loud it was the only thing you could hear. It was your constant companion following you like a shadow. And to top it all off, anxiety was right behind it. You thought about overthinking and overthought about thinking. Racing thoughts kept you up sometimes until the sun shone through the blinds.

Everyone wondered why you were so quiet at times, but they couldn’t hear the ass beating you were getting from your own mind that made it almost impossible to be in the present moment. Nor could you find the energy, the language, nor a fuck to give to even begin to explain the war going on inside you. Temari invited you out to what you thought would be a small kickback yesterday that ended up being a full blown party. Gaara, who was supposed to go with you, was inevitably called in for village business. You ended up socially tapped after just a few hours in. Although Temari was with you and you met up with some chill friends . . Although you were surrounded by people, you still felt completely alone. Although you heard the words coming out of their mouths, you couldn’t keep up with what they were saying. Although you were physically there, you weren’t there. You wanted so badly to just enjoy yourself like everyone else, but it was what it was. After pleading with your sister in law, you finally went home only to find that Gaara was still in the office. One final push that sent you

Spiraling

down

And there you were exhausted but painfully awake in the darkness of your shared room. You didn’t know how long you were lying there. There was no time, only the bottomless ocean that swallowed anything and everything you tried to drop into it. No amount of journaling, affirmations, meditation, prayer, movement, walking, entertainment, pet cuddling, food, water, medication, vitamins, herbs, epsom salt baths, incense, face masks or any of the methods you’ve tried felt tangible to you in that moment. What was the point when you didn’t even have the will to move? How could you think of going on a mission next week when you couldn’t guarantee you’d attempt to leave your room tomorrow? How were you going to take care of your hair if you couldn’t even braid, twist or put it up for the night? How could you call yourself a caring friend when you’re thinking about canceling the dinner you’ve already rescheduled twice?

“My love? Why are you still awake?”

Your husband’s soothing voice jolted you out of your inner dialogue. You hadn’t even heard him come in, too lost in the wall in front of you.

“ . . . Can’t sleep.”

You heard the sound of the door closing and hushed shuffling as he moved around the room. A few moments later, you felt his weight dip the mattress beside you. A warm arm wrapped around your middle, gently pulling you to his chest. His hand moved to intertwine with yours as he spooned you from behind.

“How did it go with Temari? Again I’m sorry I wasn’t able to go with you. I hope you had a good time.”

“It’s fine. It was fine.” you replied flatly.

Gaara caressed the back of your thumb with his own as silence filled the space between you. His lips met the skin of your shoulder and you felt your body gradually relax into his embrace. He was never one to push you when you weren’t ready to talk and always made you feel grounded back to earth with his very presence. Even amidst his many responsibilities as Kazekage, he always made sure to check in on you and provide whatever you may want or need. He would do anything for you if it meant you would feel loved, safe, balanced and happy. Gaara, sweet Gaara, was the love of your lifetimes and you, his. He knew you better than he knew himself and picked up on every detail. Your likes and dislikes. How you took your tea in the morning. Your sensitivities. Every expression. Your body language. The tone in your voice. The slightest change in your eyes. So it was no surprise that he picked up on the shift in your mood right away.

“(y/n) . . . Sweetheart, It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it right now, but please know that I am here. I love you more than words can express. I am here to listen and support you in any way that I can. I always will be. You know that, right?”

And with that, you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Your body trembled as he maneuvered you to face him. He wrapped his arms firmly around you, cocooning you into the safety of his hold. You buried your face into his chest and the calming scent of earth and cinnamon enveloped your senses. Your tears and running nose wetted the shirt he wore, but he didn’t care. Soft kisses were pressed to the crown of your head as his fingers trailed up and down the length of your spine, occasionally drawing soothing circles. You turned your head to listen to the steady rhythm of his heart pressed against you before finally catching your breath to speak.

“I-I’m just so tired of fighting just to be okay all the time. I’ve been taking steps to take care of my mental health, but it still feels like it isn’t enough. It’s like one day I’m fine and a couple days later it feels like I’m back at square one. I just want to exist sometimes. No expectations. I don’t want to think. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to be anything. I just want to be.”

He squeezed you gently at your words, pausing thoughtfully before responding.

“You once told me that your dream is to become the peace within and despite the chaos inside of you. The chaos all around us. You said that you wish to heal yourself and pass on healing to others. I know it is easy to lose sight of it when you’re in the midst of what feels like a never ending battle, but I wanted to remind you of it because I never want you to lose hope.”

Your eyes widened in shock and turned glassy as he continued on.

“You have brought me out of the depths of the greatest despair and have played a huge role in supporting me in healing from my past. Your love is medicine to my heart. There were times when I was lost that you reminded me to never lose sight of my dream. To never lose sight of what truly matters. Even in the most difficult times, you have always found hope where others have felt hopeless. That is one of the many reasons I love you. I am your husband, so let me be your strength when you are tired and feel you can’t go on because you are my strength, dear wife. We can get through this together. Remember that healing is a lifelong journey, not a destination. So take it one day at a time. Hour by hour or minute by minute if that’s what it takes. You’re so hard on yourself sometimes, but look how far you’ve come to be here. Right now. How much you’ve grown. I want you to know that I am so proud of you, sweetheart. I hope that you can come to be proud of your accomplishments too.”

A fresh wave of tears came over you, but for a completely different reason this time. You practically tackled your poor mans onto his back and your lips met in an intense yet equally loving kiss. His hands worshipped the expanse of your hips and time fell away. Vibrations hummed throughout your body as you pulled back to look into those seafoam green eyes. His red hair and pale complexion highlighted by the light of the moon peeking through the window. He was ethereal.

“I love you, Gaara. So much. I am so happy that you exist. Honestly when you speak so openly and directly like that I feel like my heart is gonna burst through my chest . . . fuckkkk. In a good way though! But seriously, thank you for being you. I never thought I’d be able to say this to someone without fear, but . . when I am with you, I know that I am home. You are my home, love. ”

His eyes softened before a huge grin spread across his now blushing features. Gaara didn’t smile often, but when he did it was a sight to behold. It was like feeling the warmth of a sunrise for the first time. An all encompassing glow.

He sat up and cupped both of your cheeks in his hands, tears now mirroring your own. “I couldn’t have put it better myself. Do you know how beautiful you are? Truly? Your beauty radiates from the inside out. Honestly, what have I done to deserve you?”

“Sir, have you taken a good look at yourself lately? That’s my line. Fight me. Right now.” you deadpanned playfully.

A look of genuine concern crossed over his face. His hands settled on your waist and his posture noticeably drooped.

“(y/n), I would never fight you.”

“ . . . Gaara, I was just joking. I know you wouldn’t.”

“Sarcasm?”

“Mhm.”

“ . . . Right. I should have known. I’ll do better next time.” he sighed dejectedly.

Your body shook with laughter at your man’s adorably serious face. He’s always trying his best. Only Gaara could go from holding space through your tears of sadness, to making you cry from happiness, to having you doubled over with laughter within a matter of moments just by being authentically himself.

“I love you so fucking much, my sweet Gaara.”

“And I, you. My beautiful (y/n).”

You both slept soundly that night in a tangle of limbs, not knowing where one ended or the other began. Two, who together, are one.

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mariesdameron · 3 years

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Sophie & Sackler Chapter Nine: I won't give up on you.

CW: Mental Health (Anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self negative talk) Morning Sickness associated with pregnancy, pregnancy, infertility issues, doctor's office, blood, wound, stitches, prescription medication, mention of potential miscarriage, medical termination, arguing. (It's worth the read, I promise)

WC: 4 674

AN: It was so refreshing to visit these two again. I am sorry for anyone following the series for the very long delay in Chapter Nine. I appreciate your continued love and support for me and Sophie and Sackler.

Read on Ao3

Sophie & Sackler Masterlist

Two pink lines are all it takes to change your entire life--two pink lines. Sophie stared at the three discarded pregnancy tests still peeking out from the trash can. After the first one, she knew that she was pregnant, but anxiety spurred her to take two more.

She had been puking for the last week. Soul-sucking exhaustion had plagued her, and when her period didn't show, it was settled. Sophie curled herself into a ball. Getting pregnant was not something that could happen for her, or so the doctors had informed her for the last fifteen years of her life. It was destined to fail. It wasn't worth speaking about.

Sophie argued with herself, gazing at the bathroom tiles. She wouldn't need to do anything about it. She could go to the clinic herself instead of waiting around for the inevitable. Adam did not have to know. Teardrops spilled off her chin. They had spoken about it once, only once.

Sophie remembered when she dumped the bomb on Adam pretty early in the relationship. She tore it off like a band-aid. She couldn't have children. He needed to know; she couldn't have him imagining an impossible future together. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Adam marched to her, dropped to his knees, and professed how much he loved her before crushing her to him.

Sophie clambered around the floor, looking for her cellphone. Dialing Sam’s phone number. The voicemail picked up, provoking a guttural scream from Sophie's breast. She needed Adam. Adam would tell her it was okay that they would deal with it together. Sophie gazed down at her cell lock screen. Adam's toothy grin begged her to call.

Sophie closed her eyes; her thoughts jumbled. She envisioned the expression on his face when he eventually learned the news. Joy would radiate over him before Sophie would grind him up with the reality of it all. She would miscarry. Sophie abandoned her phone on the floor before turning to vomit.

- - - - - -

Sophie had tried to tell Adam since she discovered the news. She had dialed his cellphone at least a hundred times and hung up before it rang. She resolved to wait. Wait until he came home, and she could sit down and do it face to face. He merited to have the discussion in person.

Sophie picked at her Blueberry Muffin as Sam sat across from her, sipping her coffee. Sam had been spending an extra amount of time with her over the last couple of weeks, thankfully.

"Do you want to go over the plan again?" Sam questioned, biting down on her lip as she studied Sophie's face. Sophie shook her head, tasting the Blueberries starting to come back up her throat.

"No. It's fine. I got it." Sophie pushed away the muffin. Sam looked doubtful.

"Well, I think it's best to just do it like we planned. Like we talked about. It's best to just put it out there right away. Don't let it fester. I mean, I get why you wanted to wait until he got home but remember he may be pissed that you waited three weeks after the fact to say anything." Sophie bit her lip. She didn't need to rehash this again. She had already decided that she would tell him his first night home. No, turning back now.

"Look, I got it. I will let him unpack. I ordered our favorite Chinese take out and once he's done with his spring roll. I will tell him." Sam rolled her eyes.

"Well, at least you still are maintaining your sarcasm." Sam peered down at her cellphone and groaned. "Alright, well, I need to get going. I really hate that I am leaving this weekend. Couldn't he have come home last weekend? For fuck's sake." Sam was in her cousin's wedding and committed to going away for the weekend. It just so happened to perfectly align with Adam's return from Los Angeles. Sam stood, grabbing Sophie by the shoulders. She squeezed Sophie to her chest. "You are going to be okay. Adam loves you. He will understand." Sophie nodded, wetting Sam's blouse.

"I know. I know." Sophie cleared her throat as Sam kissed her forehead.

"Call, text, whatever. And worst-case scenario, I can jet back right after the ceremony. But it will be fine." Sam smoothed Sophie's hair back from her face. "I promise." Sophie smiled weakly at her friend.

"Everything is going to be fine."

- - - - - -

The Chinese food was splayed out over the coffee table. Sophie had ordered all of Adam's favorites. Pacing in front of the couch, she ran her hands down her sides. She should be happy. Adam had been away for a while, deterred to Los Angeles after his big Sundance premiere.

She depressingly had kept the conversations brief. She knew that if there were longer, he would know something was up. But, instead, Adam was nothing but attentive and attuned to her and her moods. She missed him horribly. Holding onto this news broke her; she tried to address things with her therapist but canceled at the last minute. Acknowledging the truth was too hard. The only person who knew was Sam, and it was out of pure necessity.

Sophie looked at her cellphone. He was already in the city and would be arriving at any minute. She had to get it together. She couldn't meltdown as soon as he walked through the door. Adam didn't deserve this, he didn't. He didn't need the extra stress, his entire life was changing and for the greater. Sophie was only going to be the anchor that held him back.

Shaking her head at her thoughts, she stared at the picture frame on the bookshelf. It was her favorite picture of them. Sophie had tried to get both of their faces in camera view while Adam licked her face like the puppy he was. Then, like magic, she detected him at the door. On command, she was emotional as Adam entered. His bag in hand, luggage hauling behind him, and a bouquet of wildflowers balancing under his chin.

"Kid!" He shouted and dumped everything to the floor, moving to her in giant strides. Adam scooped Sophie into a firm embrace. "I fucking missed you so much." Adam murmured into Sophie's hair. "I felt like a little kid on the way here. Like it was fucking Christmas morning or something." Adam let go of her long enough to caress her face before drawing her back into a kiss.

Everything dissolved--only Adam existed. They broke from their embrace, gasping. Adam's eyes dilated, cheeks crimsoned. "I am never leaving the apartment again." He said breathlessly with a smirk that pierced Sophie's heart. Sophie ran her hands through his black mane.

"You cut your hair?" She said, hushed, allowing the silky strands to slip effortlessly through her fingers. Adam beamed, grazing kisses on her temples and cheeks.

"Yeah, my agent thought it was time to change up my look for some upcoming potential projects." He touched his lips back to hers before pretending to sulk. "Do you not like it?" Sophie shook her head.

"I love it." She purred as she sank her face into his chest, breathing him in. She nearly could let go of the panic that was building inside of her. Finding comfort in her safe harbor. Adam caged Sophie to his breast, touching his lips to her brow.

"Fuck, I really really missed you. I feel like we've hardly spoken." Adam wandered over to the living room set up. Grinning, he let go of Sophie. "I see you have laid out a mighty banquet for my return. I couldn't have planned anything more satisfying than this." Putting up his hands, he dashed to the door, plucking up the flowers he had abandoned. "For you, my lady." He bowed slightly before presenting the colorful array of perennials. Sophie swallowed down the guilt welling in her throat. He was perfect. Honestly, he was. Sophie fixed a smile and shuffled to the kitchen to find a vase. Adam thrust off his shoes and plopped down onto the couch.

"Man, I've been craving --- Lo Mein. Los Angeles is nothing compared to New York." Shoving a crab Rangoon in his mouth, he fiddled with the containers. Sophie stood in front of the sink, watching the water run. Did she have to tell him tonight? She could wait. A few days would not make a difference, not in terms of biology anyways. Instinctively her hand went to her stomach, and she sensed the urgency to be sick. How was she going to explain the constant puking? Before she grasped what was transpiring, her blood was dripping onto the stainless steel. Gazing down at the glass pieces from the vase, she distinguished Adam's muted voice next to her before her senses returned.

"Kid! Kid! What did you do?" Adam cautiously drew her hands back, examining the deep gash on her hand. " That's gonna need stitches, baby." Then, clutching the roll of paper towels, Adam wrapped up her wound. Sophie stood confused at her own carelessness.

It would have been entertaining to watch Adam work a smartphone app, however, Sophie's mind remained unable to manifest words. Her mental dissociation was in full swing, the weight of her mind dragging her through mechanical motions. Attempting to make sense of the scene, Adam led her to the door as he typed into his phone.

- - - -

Sophie sat on the end of the hospital bed. The white starkness of the room was effectively raising Sophie's anxiety, along with following her boyfriend's pacing in front of her.

"Adam, please just sit down... PLEASE." Sophie sounded slightly more forceful than intended. Adam froze and stared at her, face drained of blood. Sophie recognized that he was panicked. This was definitely not the way she desired to spend his first night home. Before Adam could speak, the Doctor strolled into the examination room. “Sophie, I am Dr. Davis.” He observed Adam, who stood fidgeting in the corner. Finally, Adam cleared his throat and stepped forward, taking the Doctor's hand.

"Adam, Sackler. Boyfriend." Dr. Davis nodded in understanding as he lifted Sophie's bandaged hand.

"Well, it was a sizeable gash, and you will need stitches, which we will be applying soon.” Dr. Davis flipped through her chart. "Is there anything else we should know about before I get started on your stitches? For example, are you allergic to anything that may not be noted on your chart?"

Sophie shook her head no, glimpsing over at Adam, who remained in the corner. His face troubled as he regarded the Doctor removing the bandaging. Sophie's mind raced. Was pregnancy something she had to tell the Doctor? This is not the fucking way Adam needed to find out that she was pregnant. Sophie's heart began racing, and the Doctor certainly took notice.

"It's alright; it will be over sooner than you think." He said, patting Sophie gently. Adam exhaled before scooting closer to them.

"I am right here, kid." His voice shaky, but his jaw locked tightly. Her chest throbbed. He didn't justify this bullshit. How could she be so stupid? How could she be so careless? Ruining his first night, becoming pregnant. She had always been so careful. She was on birth control. They didn't always use a condom, but the frequency was low. Doctor Davis stood interrupting Sophie's thoughts. He was finished. He analyzed her face before speaking.

"How are you feeling, Sophie? I saw in your chart that you were on a couple of psychiatric medications. I can bring in the nurse for something to ease the panic?" Sophie's eyes flew to Adam.

She avoided talking about her mental illness around him. She knew he didn't judge her or care, but she wanted desperately to keep it away from him. Sophie shrugged her shoulders. Doctor Davis acknowledged. "I am going to send her in with something. Xanax, I saw marked for emergency usage. I will send her in with a low dose. Just to help take the edge off.” Sophie bit her lip and accepted.

Adam slid next to her, immediately rubbing her back in comfort when they were alone. Sophie closed her eyes. She had to tell him. Adam tugged her tight to him.

"Kid, it's okay. You are all sewed up. No big deal. We will be back to the apartment, devouring our spring rolls soon." Turning, she studied his sweet freckled face that never ceased to make her heart ache.

"Adam...I have to tell you something." Sophie stuttered, the keen stabbing dread seizing her chest. Adam sympathetically leaned in and swept a kiss to her face.

"Kid, you didn't ruin my night. I know you are worried about it. I promise all I wanted is to see you." He reflected. "I mean, I didn't want to watch you gash your fucking hand open, but it's fine." He relaxed his head on Sophie's shoulder. The nurse cleared her throat as she entered. Sophie's nails burrowed into her palms as she observed the nurse move around her supplies.

"I am Minda; the Doctor thinks a small dose of Xanax would be helpful after looking over your medical history. Don't worry." The oxygen seeped from the room. Sophie couldn't breathe. "Xanax is deemed safe throughout pregnancy."

Inhaling faster, the nurse interrupted what she was doing and examined Sophie. "Deep breaths. The Doctor also wanted me to ask if you were interested in an iron infusion. We can schedule one for you to come back. Being that you are anemic, it's a good idea with you being pregnant." Sophie refused to look at Adam. She couldn't. Her eyes begged the nurse.

"Could you maybe come back in a few minutes?" Sophie mumbled amidst small gasps. The nurse's eyes widened, discerning the situation. Pursing her lips, she handed the paper cup of Xanax to Sophie.

"I'll be back in ten minutes for your discharge paperwork." Sophie kept her eyes to the floor, listening for the door to close. She waited. She waited for him to speak, but the room remained silent despite the beeps and hums from nearby equipment.

Lifting her eyes, she wasn't sure what to think. Adam sat, his arms criss crossed over his chest. His frame was trembling, his nostrils flared. He was watching Sophie. Her sight clouded, and her throat constricted as Adam stood, his hands twitching at his side.

"How long?" He stammered, rubbing his hands over his face. "How long have you known? And why didn't you tell me?" His face, drawn with agitation. Sophie shook her head, swallowing down sobs.

"I didn't know how to tell you." She faltered. Adam began pacing back and forth.

"I don't know... something like, Adam, I am pregnant would have worked okay." Sophie looked at the pills on the side table. She could take them. It would make this easier. It would prevent the impending panic attack that was threatening with every word exchanged.

Adam followed Sophie's gaze and stepped towards her, taking the cup and forcing it in her free hand. "Take them; you don't need an attack right now." His tone softened as he spoke. Sophie gulped the pills down as Adam renewed pacing. "Please say something." Finally, he stopped, misty-eyed as he pleaded. Sophie wrung her hands.

"I've known since I got back from 'Sundance.'” She whispered, seeing his face sink further. "I wanted to tell you, but I knew how much it would hurt you." Her tears leaked from her nose.

"Why? Would it hurt me, Sophie?" Adam strode to her, gripping her face in his hands. "I fucking love you. Why would I ever be upset about this? Unless..." Back hutching forward, his eyes snapped shut. Gradually, he retreated. "Did you do it? Did you 'take care’ of it? " He challenged, his voice vibrating. Sophie furiously shook her head.

"No, no." Her heart pulsated in the vice grip constricting it. She knew the memories that were inundating his brain. Raising his head, shades of crimson grew up his neck. Adam wiped his reddening eyes and smoothed back his hair.

"We can talk about this more at home. But I don't want to do this here. I'm beat from the flight, and this isn't good for you." Adam tapped his forehead. "I am going to take a walk around the floor, and then hopefully, when I get back, we can go." Sophie sucked on her lower lip, agreeing.

Sophie sank her head in her hands as Adam disappeared. She hadn't 'taken care’ of it yet, but that was up next for discussion. She had explained that the Doctors had told her she cannot carry a baby to full term. He had said he understood and loved her nevertheless.

Was he about to go against his words? This was everything Sophie wanted to avoid. She told him she couldn't have kids. Just because this accidental pregnancy happened, it doesn't equal a child. It involves a miscarriage. Despite the nauseating pains in her stomach, the impulse to scream simmered. The nurse knocked before entering, clipboard in hand.

"Just a few signatures and you are good to go." Sophie gripped the pen, knowing full well the night was not close to being over.

- - - -

The ride back to the apartment was quiet. Sackler walked straight to the bathroom and closed the door. She heard the water running. She knew he was attempting to calm down. Unfortunately, there would be no deescalating at this moment. He would need to listen to her and understand what was necessary.

Seating herself on the edge of the couch, she waited until she heard the bathroom door open. Adam leaned against the wall, facing Sophie. Sliding his restless hands into his pockets, his face distorted with emotion. Sophie licked her dry lips. Then, steadying herself against the cushions, she let it all pour out.

"I am so sorry, Adam. I know I should have told you sooner. I just thought you deserved better to hear it all in person. I didn't want it to be like this. I definitely didn't expect your first night home to go this way. I wanted us to have a few happy moments together before I dropped the news. I just knew how much it was going to hurt you. Knowing that it would result in nothing." Adam abruptly held up his hands, muttering for her to stop.

"What are you saying to me, Sophie? Have you already decided then? To just go ahead and --." Adam cleared his throat. His adam's apple bobbed harshly as he drank down his evident disgust. Anger swelled in Sophie's gut, vibrating throughout her body.

"Don't, Adam Sackler. Do not look at me like this. You KNEW!" Sophie's voice bellowed through the living room. "I told you, I couldn't have children remember? That wasn't just a lifestyle choice. I explained it all very carefully to you." Adam leaped from his spot, frantically running his hands through his hair.

"You said you couldn't get pregnant. But here you are, pregnant. Pregnant with my child." His tone dipped in desperation.

"It's not a child. It's a pregnancy. Don't put this on me, Adam. Please. I told you that I wouldn't be able to carry a child to full term. I told you." The weight of her words split her mind. It was bad enough that these thoughts plagued her mind every occasion that she strolled past a school or a park crowded with kids.

Or all the intruding conversations of 'when are you going to have children?' 'You are getting up there in age, sweetheart. You should consider.' The societal expectation that she should and could bear children produced countless episodes of worthlessness and failure. She believed she had escaped this topic with Adam after their initial conversation.

Adam kneeled and lowered his gaze. Sophie caught his sigh as he rubbed at his jaw.

"I know what we discussed, but it's at least something that we can look into? See a doctor first? Before we make any hasty conclusions." He faltered as he spoke, his pitch mounting in sentiment. Sophie wordlessly watched Adam's hunched form. His sniffling and deep breathing were venom in her veins. Her beautiful Adam, she knew her troubles would eventually destroy him and her both. Clawing into her arms, she attempted to steady her speech.

"I don't think you understand...It was made pretty clear to me that I can't have children. I guess we could get a hopeful Doctor and have them tell us to hold out and see..." Adam lifted his head, eyes eager and bloodshot. The optimism on his face induced bile up her esophagus. "You aren't the one who is going to have to go through the physical loss. The emotional toll isn't the only thing I will suffer through, please... Understand." Sophie's bottom lip quivered at the notion of going through it all again. She couldn't. Adam wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve as he stood.

"And I have to suffer knowing that this is the second chance I lose at becoming a father." His statement pierced through her. She was going to hurl.Hurrying to her feet, Sophie bolted herself in the bathroom before bowing over the toilet. Her head was a pulsating jackhammer.

"Sophie, kid. Open the door, let me help you." Sophie wept amidst upheavals. "Jesus fucking Christ kid, just unlock the door, please." Finally, Sophie regained her composure as she located a towel.

"Adam, just go." Sophie pleaded weakly, relishing in the coldness of the cloth on her blazing skin.

"Sophie, don't. Please don't do this. Let me in." Adam's voice fractured as his hands pounded against the wood. "I love you so much. I need this all to be okay." He cried. Sophie held herself, the sting of his earlier statements still raw. He would blame her forever. There wasn't winning here.

Sure, he would be more understanding on the surface if she miscarried. Still, he set her up to be the villain, with her not wanting to follow through with the pregnancy. She couldn't look him in the eyes each day, knowing that he resented her for all of this. Sophie shook when Adam roared incoherently. She stilled in the abrupt silence of the apartment. A few brief moments passed before Adam was back at the door.

"I am going to a hotel.” Sophie heard Adam's hesitation. "Text me when you are ready to talk." Then, skipping a beat, he breathed 'I love you' and 'I am sorry' before his scuffling was gone. Sophie slumped to the tile, desperate for relief from the ache in her breast, pulsating mind, and hollowness in her stomach.

- - - -

Sophie opened her eyes, blinking at the harshness of the overhead light. She had cried herself to sleep. Standing up, Sophie searched for the ibuprofen. She felt hungover. Glancing at the bathroom mirror, she grimaced. Swollen eyes and puffy cheeks stared back at her. Sophie unlocked the door, as she did, a large object fell towards her, sending her into a fury, jumping backward and screaming. She heard Adam's voice through her yells.

"KID! It's me. It's me." Adam jumped up from the floor, his hands stretching out towards Sophie. "Shh... It's just me." Adam drew Sophie to him, enveloping her into his chest. Sophie's mind intuitively eased as his comforting scent overwhelmed her thoughts.

"I thought you went to a hotel." She murmured into his shirt, pressing her face further into his breast. Adam's grip tightened as he pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I couldn't. I got to the bottom of the stairs and turned back around. My entire fucking world is right here. Why would I go anywhere else?" Sophie's muscles tightened as the previous conversation rushed back to her. Adam immediately cupped her face in his hands. "Kid, let's go to bed. Let me hold you. We don't need to talk about this anymore tonight. Let's go to bed, please." Adam's wide amber eyes silently pleaded for her to listen. Sophie nodded. Her body was heavy, her mind pained and hazy.

Adam removed both his and Sophie's clothes before pulling back the sheets and comforter. Opening his arms, he dragged her to him. Wrapping his legs and arms around her, he caged her to him.

"Sleepy time." He teased quietly as he caressed kisses into her hair. Sophie sighed deeply before allowing the steady rise and fall of Adam's chest to lull her to sleep.

- - -

Sophie woke to Adam lying on top of her, his head peacefully nuzzled into her breasts. Shaking her head and smirking, she worked her fingers through his black mane. Adam let out a small grunt.

"I've missed you so much." He mumbled, his voice gravelly from sleep.

"Me, too," Sophie whispered, scratching her nails over his scalp. Adam nudged her breast with his nose before lifting his face to look at her. Sophie moved her hand to Adam's face, running her finger down his proud nose. He really was the most handsome man.

"Can we just try?" He blurted out. "I know you are scared. I am scared to, but kid, I want to try. I know it's not fair for me to ask this of you, and if you really say you can't, I will let it go..." Adam's voice trailed off as his lips trembled.

Sophie was surprised her brain didn't spiral at his words. She couldn't deny the fact that she had thought about trying to go through with it over the last few weeks. Sophie's eyes shifted to the freckles spattered across Adam's features.

Would their child have freckles like him? Would they come out rolly polly, all smiles, ears a little too big, and a mess of black hair? Adam dropped his face back to her sternum. Both of them laid in silence for a while before Sophie cleared her throat. Adam immediately was on alert.

"We will talk to the Doctor and see what they say... Then we make a decision." She whispered, swallowing down the knot that was forming. Adam nodded.

"Then we make a decision." He repeated before caressing a delicate kiss to her lips.

- - - - -

The Doctor shut the exam room's door softly, leaving Sophie and Sackler alone with their thoughts. The Doctor had explained that Sophie was officially two months along. Everything looked fine but informed of the complications with Sophie's medical history the Doctor had told them it would be a gamble but could be a viable pregnancy. Sophie sobbed.

Adam accompanied her in her weeping as the Doctor inquired if they wanted to hear the heartbeat. Despite the nagging pain in her chest, Sophie agreed. Sackler clasped her hand to his tear-soaked lips as the steady pulse sounded throughout the room.

Now, the two sat in silence, attempting to regain their composure. Sophie stared at the white tiles. She knew he was already wholeheartedly invested. She had watched him shake, snot dripping down his nose as the exam was done. Lifting her head, Adam was staring at her, his face flushed from his emotional outburst. His arms crossed protectively across his broad chest.

"Okay." She sputtered, her breathing intensifying as her mind accepted her decision. Adam jumped back, his hands immediately rubbing his jaw.

"Really?" His eyes grew as he kept his distance. Was he putting up an invisible wall? Sophie sucked on her bottom lip, nodding.

"Yeah, let's try." She whispered, her eyes stinging as the emotions resurfaced. Adam sprang towards her cupping her face in his hands.

"Kid, I love you. It's going to be okay." His speech raced. Afraid to welcome his enthusiasm, she forced a weak smile. Adam held her face to his, intently locking his gaze with hers. “Thank you for trying, that's enough for me. It’s more than enough.” Adam paused. "I am here no matter what happens. I am not going anywhere. I got you.” Sophie caressed her nose against Adam's.

"We got each other."

- - - - - - -

Lovelies: @daydreamsofren @cornmousequeen @sacklerscumrag @caillea @direnightshade @finn-ray-nal-beads @mylifeisactuallyamess @leatherboundbirate @theoncrayjoy @maybe-your-left @hopeamarsu @zimmermansbrat @historyandfandoms50 @sister-winter73 @relationshipwithmybed @themuseic @starskylo @millenialcatlady @tashastrange89 @theodorealastair @insufferablelust @iamasithprincess @tashastrange89 @butyoudidthis4what @xxcatrenxx @jynzandtonic @blowthatpieceofjunk @paper-n-ashes @roanniom

Thank you for reading!

If you enjoy my stories, let me know! My Inbox is open, and I welcome comments! Please reblog if you fancy sharing this piece.

#Sophie and Sackler #Adam Sackler x OC #Adam Sackler #ADCU Fanfic #adcu #marie sackler #CW: Mental Health #CW Pregnancy #CW Medical Eval #CW Arguments #CW Medication #Angst #Fluff #CW Injury/Blood #CW Infertility #I love and miss these two

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izzabeean · 3 years

Text

Chapter 13 : Overwhelming

SUMMARY

You're surprised to receive a phone call from your mom, and you have a hard time processing the new information from Sara.

pairing : ushjima x f!reader / oikawa x f!reader / iwaizumi x f!reader

genre : angst + fluff

word count : 3,738

content : profanity

tags : alternate universe - college/university, post-break up, friends to lovers, pining, slow burn

a/n : apologies this is a week late! I hope to get my timing better, things have just started to get hectic. pardon the grammar/vocab, I just read through it once. thank you all who have been interested in this series, I really appreciate your kind words!

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It was a total surprise to receive a phone call from your mom while your parents were still on vacation. Normally they disappear, giving you no notice for how long they will be gone and upon returning, very rarely communicate when they are actually back, instead just show up at your apartment unannounced, asking you endless amounts of questions about university, expecting you to have a full outline of your marks from each class. So seeing "Mom" on your caller ID, you knew this was something important.

Her voice was strangely filled with excitement over the phone proclaiming she had good news -- something you never really heard from her too much. She set you up for a meeting with a colleague of hers at a company where you can intern after you've graduated. You hadn't really thought the far down the line, seeing as you've just started your semester and most students don’t start looking for internships until two months in, but considering this seemed very important to her, you had no other option as you didn’t want to force her into one of her downward spirals your dad always blames you for.

The next day or two, you spend most of your time mulling over the phone conversation, but in the back of your mind, the chat with Sara looms over you. Mixed feelings of insecurity and curiosity courses through you. Oikawa notices. And yes, you told him everything. He could see the confusion in your face, you couldn’t hide it this time. No, because this information sears through your whole body bringing you back to the initial moment of seeing them together across the street. The pain gets reignited and is replaced with a strange feeling of hope. You don’t want to feel this way as you still feel angry for not getting an explanation. But it’s there. You try to swallow it down seeing as you have an important meeting to look forward to, yet you just can’t. You’re exhausted.

Smoothing out your skirt, you can feel your skin crawl while staring at your reflection in the mirror dressed in an uncomfortable outfit that had to be fished out of your boxed-up wardrobe in your parents' garage. Of course, it’s anything but pleasant, not suiting your desirable style, obviously meant for an office environment. No amount of smile can cover the dread and gloom radiating from your scowl. You can’t wait to get this meeting over with-- especially since you’ve been anxious since the day was set.

“Wow, looking professional,” Oikawa says casually, standing in the bedroom doorway.

“I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm,” you groan irritatedly. In addition to your bad mood, you couldn't contain the blistering attitude in your tone.

“It was a compliment,” he laughs, but some straightens up when you shoot him a deafening glare.

“Sure didn’t sound like it.”

“You look good,” he says. “Like you can dominate the workforce, a CEO.”

CEO? No way.

You look again at your reflection, your eyes landing on your stern face as you try to imagine what it would be like to have a large office at the top of a tall infrastructure with a view to a major city.

“I’d deliberately cause trouble so I can get sent to your office,” he teases.

The fantasy quickly vanishes with his words.

“Seriously Tōru, I can’t handle this right now,” you say, storming out of his room to gather your purse to leave.

Oikawa blinks while watching you, and asks, “Do you want me to go with you?’

“No, Iwaizumi is going to drop me off,” you say, not even sparing him a glance.

“Oh, okay,” Oikawa murmurs before hearing the door slam shut and lock.

He sighs as the apartment grows quiet with you gone.

“Good luck,” he mumbles.

Walking down the stairs, you can see Iwaizumi’s vehicle parked in the loading zone. A burst of excitement mixed with anxiety takes over as you pick up the pace to open the passenger door. You smile before getting in.

“You got everything?” he assures.

“Yeah!” you hum, pleased that he's taking time out of his day to drive you to the office. He pulls away from the curb as you look down at your phone to read out the directions.

Though it’s a perfect set-up for you once school is done, a part of you cannot get rid of the nerves in your stomach, twisting and turning. You don’t want to jump to any conclusions, because yes, sometimes it’s your anxiety painting a picture of the worst possible scenario. What if your qualifications don’t match? And you have to tell your parents you’re going to have to go back to school for another semester? You can imagine the fury in their eyes as sentencing you to life in prison, aka your home.

You sigh.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait for you?” Iwaizumi asks, glancing at you before returning his eyes to the road. He can sense your anxiety and it leaves him wondering if driving you home could make things more comfortable for you.

“Positive,” you reply, not wanting to ask for more, as he’s already done so much. “I don’t know how long it’s going to take.”

“Alright,” he says, not wanted to press further.

Immediately your mind drifts off to the possible outcomes for today, giving you no chance to worry about the possible tension between you and Iwaizumi. How could you think about how massive his biceps are in that t-shirt when your priority is to make a good first impression with your mom's colleague.

Surely, you need to match up to the companies standards so you don’t disappoint your parents. With the endless amounts of criticism, you've received from them for your entire life, all you wanted to do was make them proud of you. Saying no wasn't an option, even if you weren't particularly sure if this office internship interested you.

Sometimes, you wonder if you have made any decisions based on what you wanted.

Well, you do know now, at this moment, Iwaizumi’s company makes things a bit more bearable. And maybe perhaps this interview won’t go as bad as you assume. But something keeps questioning it in the back of your mind.

You can’t really pinpoint what it is, you just feel like something is wrong.

------

Finally.

You entered through the threshold of the apartment and drop your purse to the ground making a loud clunk sounding your arrival. Oikawa rushes to the foyer initially noting your intense aura soaked in dread as if your soul left your body while you take off your jacket. Plastered on your face, a deep sense of regret-- another new emotion he’s witnessed just this past month.

“Didn’t go well?” he asks.

“No,” you reply. “They liked me a lot.”

The interviewer seemed to take a liking to you. To her, your qualifications were outstanding, and couldn’t believe she didn’t know about you sooner. And boy were your parents happy to hear about it afterward. You’d barely left the building before you received a text from your mom saying that your meeting was beyond what she ever expected.

“Then what’s wrong?” Oikawa asks.

After a long afternoon, a lot of things. First, you couldn’t wait to tear off these clothes and slip into something more comfortable. But also your feet were a bit blistered from the walk back due to deciding to wear impractical heels; part of you wishes you’d asked Iwaizumi to wait for you.

Second, the office is just so… Bland. Boring. Bleak. It isn’t a place you think you could fit in with the people, as they’re all drained middle-age salarymen, counting down the days of the week until the weekend. You couldn’t wrap your mind around being as miserable as those people.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you scoff before trugging away to the room you’re currently residing in, closing the door behind you.

Swallowing thickly you settle back into familiar surroundings, even though it’s not your own room, this is the most comfort you’re going to get in this situation and you’re going to take it with grace. Yet your mind keeps on flashing back to the interview and how impressed the interviewer was.

There are very few positive things about the internship: it will keep your parents off your back and you’ll be able to move forward with the company to a full paying job. Why would you even turn something down that sets up your life for you? It almost felt like you were meant for the position and planning a future is important to you… right? You can’t ruin this.

Checking your phone you notice Iwaizumi message: good luck, let me know how it goes from hours ago, before stepping into the interview. But your entire body was in such a depressive state on your way back, you didn’t even think to reply to him. Crafting the perfect text was very troublesome as you didn’t want to tell him it went absolutely shit because you would be lying.

It went well! It would be a great place to start after university.

You backspace the message as you feel like Iwaizumi will see right through your positivity.

It seemed like it went well, just feel iffy about it.

You backspace the message again. You knew you could do the job, but your intuition keeps telling you something was wrong, somehow. You feel perplexed with what to say or how to say it.

As your anxiety grows eagerly by the seconds, you start to type up your message again:

Just got back to the apartment. I feel a bit mixed about the meeting and just trying to process if it’s right for me. I’ll tell you more about it later.

You exhale once you hit send and lay down on the bed. Some sort of relief rushes through you now that the meeting has passed. For a wavering moment, you wonder how much more relieved you would have felt if Iwaizumi waited for you to drive you back to the apartment.

A knock interrupts your thoughts.

“Y/N, do you want to go for dinner?” Oikawa asks, words a bit muffled through the closed door.

His invitation surprises you but the idea of getting food right now really uplifts your mood.

“Alright, just give me a second.”

------

The first thing you notice inside of the restaurant is… it’s a bit classier than you expected. Warm wood paneling decorates the walls with cozy dim lighting setting a somewhat sultry mood while customers sitting in their velvet cushioned booths appear dressed in sophisticated attire, a stark contrast to the casual outfit you quickly slipped into.

You stand next to Oikawa as he searches for the hostess.

“Um,” you murmur, leaning in close. “Isn’t this place a bit… Much?”

Oikawa laughs before turning to you to see the serious look in your eyes.

“This place always cheers me up after a bad day,” he grins. “Thought it could do the same for you.”

“Hello,” a soft voice greets from a tall elegantly dressed woman with her hair pinned up into a slick bun.

“For two please,” Oikawa hums, exchanging a smile, which makes the hostess blush. You roll your eyes wondering if you’re the only person on this planet that doesn’t totally melt from Oikawa’s gaze and looks.

“Right this way,” she utters before swiftly leading you both to a table near the back of the restaurant passing customers noticing most of them look like they are couples on dates. Oikawa follows closely behind and the thought crosses your mind…

Could this be a date?

No… You’re getting ahead of yourself. This obviously isn’t. Maybe?

As you slide into the booth, you recognize the atmosphere is a lot quieter in the back while Oikawa takes a seat across the table from you. You’re not sure if it’s the fatigue talking now that you’re sitting down, but you’ve never seen that shirt he’s wearing before and he looks… Good?

Shaking away the thoughts in your head, you look down at the menu and your eyes grow wide reading the prices.

“Tōru,” you say as he peaks up from the menu to look at you. “This is a lot for a barbeque place.”

“It’s ok, it’s on me,” he smiles.

“You know I can’t let you do that,” you respond, trying to ignore the warmth growing in your face, the same gesture that caused you to roll your eyes at the hostess.

“Y/N, please,” Oikawa insists, staring at you seriously, the most serious you’ve ever seen him in a normal day-to-day conversation.

It’s oddly intimidating, in an exciting way, causing you to place the menu down on the table before uttering,” Fine. You can pick what to get then.”

Oikawa’s face instantly changes to his shit-eating grin and all the unexpected attraction to him deserts your body in a matter of seconds. You don’t even know why your brain even chose to think that way. There’s this sudden urge to cleanse your mind of those thoughts and distract yourself by looking around the restaurant.

You sigh as your eyes dart to a couple laughing, who are sitting further towards the front of the restaurant. You don’t even know why they caught your attention. It makes your heart swell even more to see the genuine public display of affection as they hold hands across the table drawing into every word each person says. Most recently couples make you regret your time away from Ushijima, but now it just feels like emptiness. You can’t really feel anything at all.

A few minutes later, after Oikawa has placed the order to another blushing employee, you raise your brow at the giggling waitress as she turns away to leave the two of you alone. Noticing your look of disappointment, he coos, “You jealous or something?”

“Yeah right,” you scoff, hiding a gulp as you dart your eyes away from any contact with Oikawa. You don’t even know why he’d say something like that.

“You sure?” Oikawa teases, cocking his head to the side while giving you a wide grin.

“So about the interview….” you say ignoring his comment. He’s definitely enjoying this.

“Ah, so now you want to talk about it,” he purrs, as if changing the subject gave him the answer he wanted. “Why did you hate how it went?”

You’re stiff but come to the realization that he’s just going to continue to pester you throughout the night so you give in.

“It felt like a prison, grey walls, fluorescent lights that barely illuminate the rooms,” you start. “Honestly, it wasn’t prison, it was more like hell.”

Oikawa smirks, “Perfect for you then.”

“It’s just the people,” you groan, again, ignoring his sly comment. “I feel like only zombies work there. Clacking away on their keyboards, not even a chance to socialize with coworkers because it feels like there are security cameras in every room.”

Oikawa laughs.

“Fuck, I thought I wanted an office job, but now I don’t know anymore.”

You sigh and grow silent, hoping he can’t tell how much more vulnerable you feel after your tangent. Lately, you've been really open to him about hardships that have been kicking you down, but this entire “future” stuff is just so hard for you to grasp. It boils down to the essence of your entire being and pinpointing your success in a direction that could potentially cause you to fail instead. Plus it doesn’t really help that your parents are pressuring you to figure it out.

Yes, you’ve spoken to Iwaizumi about it, for some reason it felt so much easier compared to speaking about it with Oikawa. You wonder why.

“Do what makes you happy,” Oikawa says simply.

“Are you joking?” you ask after taking time to process his words. “My parents would be at my throat if I did that.”

“Fuck ‘em!”

“Tōru!”

“What? Mental health is important,” Oikawa says, his eyes meeting yours in a more caring way than usual. “Or are they those parents that don’t believe in their daughters' best interest?”

You’re quiet. Honestly, you’re not really sure. You can appreciate Oikawa’s intentions, but he doesn’t know what they’re like, it’s not like you’ve given him any background to what you’ve been dealing with since high school and so forth into adulthood.

“Honestly, you’re a great, hard-working person, full of creativity and perseverance,” Oikawa grins. “You’re like the full package! Your parents should be happy with whatever you do.”

The sudden compliments feel overwhelming, Oikawa’s never been this nice before.

“So, do what makes you happy,” he repeats.

But what makes you happy?

A space of your own, to keep yourself sane in times your parents are breathing down your neck, sure. An education, because let’s be real, school has always been very important to you. But all those seem so mundane and obvious to you.

What actually makes you happy?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the waitress delivering an array of delicious plattered food on the table and your tummy starts to grumble while your mouth waters. Oikawa picks up the tongs to begin placing pieces of meat on the built-in table grill.

Yes, food definitely makes you happy. It’s never let you down, just always been there for comfort and a good time.

Then your eyes trail up to Oikawa who is very intently cooking dinner. You hold your breath analyzing his long lashes hiding those chocolate brown eyes that seem all so familiar to you. Yet, the intentions behind those eyes seem much softer as of lately compared to the intense gaze you’re used to.

Honestly, Oikawa makes you happy.

He’s the longest friend you’ve had in university. Although he can totally be a handful, he’s always been there for you… Even in regards to Ushijima. Frankly, he’s been a lot more patient with you, always there to listen.

“How about Ushijima?” Oikawa interrupts.

“Huh?” you squeak, wondering if he read your mind.

“Doesn’t he make you happy?” he clarifies.

Happy? Your hands ball into fists as you let Oikawa’s words seep in. You always felt really happy to be with Ushijima, even when you just met him, you couldn’t help but be captivated by him. And you thought you did the same for him too. But things have changed now.

Honestly, you still don't even know why he broke up with you. Everything prior felt the same leading up to it, you were always by Ushijima’s side and nothing provoked a break-up…. Or so you thought. You thought your anger would’ve spiked from Sara's intel, but instead, you just feel dread. Thoughts spiraling to that you couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“I don’t know anymore,” you mutter, forcing yourself to allow your body to relax. “I think it makes it even worse now that I know there wasn’t anyone else in the picture.”

“Do you think you’ll talk to him?” Oikawa asks.

Your body grows tense again, and you suddenly feel your stomach dip at his words. It’s hard to say. Although it would be easy to just talk to him to clarify the confusion, you think it will just hurt you more.

“Why does it even matter?” you say. “You never even liked him to begin with, isn’t it just better this way?”

“I just thought--”

"Can we just not talk about this right now,” you look down at your hands, there’s a hint of sadness in your voice that you hope Oikawa doesn't pick up on.

-------

Dinner wasn't as awkward, as you thought it would be-- Oikawa steered clear of Ushijima as a topic. And honestly, for a little bit, it distracted you from your anxious thoughts.

The screech of the train stopping fills your ears as it pulls up on the platform. At last, you can sit down to alleviate the physical aching from your feet which seems much more bearable than the aching in your chest. Being near the end of everyone’s day, the train seemed a lot busier as you filed in with the crowd squeezing up beside Oikawa. A sigh escapes your mouth as you face away from him looking out the window watching the train pass buildings of different heights and colors. Then there's a yawn.

“Someone’s sleepy," Oikawa teases.

His body is close behind you as you try your best not to appear startled as his voice booms alarmingly close to your ear. You turn to face him as he smirks at you.

"It's been a long day,” you mumble.

“You going to be ok?” Oikawa asks.

“Yeah.” You feel your eyes get heavier and heavier as the train's motions begin to lull you to sleep.

Suddenly, your body lurches forward as the train comes to a stop. You try to tighten your grip on the handle but instead lose balance and fall into a tall man.

"S-- sorry," you stutter backing away from the stranger, but the man takes a hold of your wrist staring at you with his profoundly gawking eyes. You feel sick to your stomach in hopes the confrontation will be short.

Shit.

"Hey babe," Oikawa calls.

You turn your head to check if he's talking to you and he is because his eyes are trying to signal to you to play along.

"Oh, sorry sir, my girlfriend can be a bit clumsy," Oikawa snorts.

The man's gaze shifts to Oikawa who pries your wrist out of the stranger's hand. Oikawa holds your hand in his as you subconsciously tightening your grip.

"Thanks for catching her for me," he smiles like his charms can just wash the anger away.

And it does.

You both move back to your spots from before.

"Lean into me ok, he's still looking," Oikawa whispers in your ear.

You lean in close facing him as he drops his arm on your shoulder. The gesture makes your face grow flush with embarrassment. You've never been so close to Oikawa before. However, there's a bit of comfort as you inhale his scent; a hint of cologne and earthy tones from the brisk air outside. It eases your nerves a bit.

“Sorry,” you mutter in a panic.

Oikawa just lets out a laugh, “Saved your ass again.”

He did but this time it wasn't as irritating as before.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyu x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #Iwaizumi Hajime #iwaizumi x reader #ushijima x reader

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 3 years

Text

William + Emerald Green + Sunset

Sun was setting behind the horizon as you sat on the railing of a private balcony of the bedroom you shared with William. Birds were chirping in the distance as the world was painted in golden light. It was as if it all was unfolding before you, every door imaginable was open. The future was right there, the bright future you had dreamed of ever since you were a child, but could only barely describe into words. Right there, just within the reach of your fingertips, now showcased by the horizon that gradually turned into a canvas of yellows, reds and purples; and sun by the songbirds around.

You hear the door behind you open, but as you were about to turn your head around. William spoke: “No peaking dear.” There was a sense of amusement in his tone, and you could almost hear the smile that must’ve been painted over his lips.

“Oh my, first you order me to sit out here when you do god knows what in our room,” you teased. Your tone radiating with sarcasm, making him let out a small laugh.

“I know dear. Just bear with me for a moment longer,” he continued as his steps grew closer to you. “Close your eyes,” he cooed; his voice next to your ear, tickling your skin almost as much as the passing breeze.

You closed your eyes just as he asked wearing a bright smile, sitting still as you listened to the ruffling of clothes. You concentrated on the way his warmth enveloped you; you would’ve guessed that his arms reached around you for a moment, only to be pulled right back. It was followed by a small weight settling around your neck, him still fumbling with something behind you. “Hm?” you uttered, turning your head slightly, but still keeping your eyes closed.

“There,” he uttered, more to himself than to you. “You may open your eyes,” he whispered next to your ear.

You opened your eyes and looked down, your fingers finding their way onto that which now you wore. It was a locket with a green emerald on it and intricately carved with a leaf pattern. Your eyes carefully examined each detail as you yourself were in awe.

“Do you like it?” He asked, circling around you while placing his hand onto your shoulder.

“I love it, but…” you began, turning your gaze to him with a look of gratitude and wonder.

“I know that I don’t get to spend as much time with you as you’d like, just like I don’t get to spend as much time with you as I’d like. So, I thought that I should give you something that you can wear at all times, something that reminds you of me… And I thought that a locket would suit for the purposes,” he smiled to you; his voice soft, almost timid.

A tender smile rose to your lips as you looked at him, the love you felt for him radiating from you clear as day. “It’s perfect,” you whispered as you leaned closer to him, making him smile as he mirrored your movements.

As the sun finally set over the hills, your lips met in a tender kiss. Your future, your shared future finally having arrived, dancing over your lips with tender caresses. The stars emerging above you as a blanket, envying the amount of love that you displayed. But you wouldn’t have known as all you focused on, once your lips parted, was each other’s eyes and the way you adored one another.

“So…” you began with a hushed tone. “What were you up to while I was out here?” You asked with a smile that you couldn’t have shaken even if you had tried to.

“Perhaps we should go and see,” he suggested, taking your hand and leading you inside.

As he opened the balcony door, your heart melted in your chest at the sight that unfolded before you.

Lit candles placed around the room, and a table set for two, accompanied with roses, stood in the middle of the room.

“We get alone time so rarely that I thought we should make the most out of today.” He spoke with such softness that you wondered if it was possible.

“Thank you,” you only whispered as you turned to him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning closer.

“You’re welcome,” he still breathed out right before your lips met in another kiss, this even more tender than the last.

#william vangeance #william x reader #black clover #valentine's day

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spidersmiceandeverythingnice · 3 years

Text

Just realized I never posted this during LB3 despite the fact that I had some very Thematic Brainwaves about my Mastersona, Yu, Koyanskaya and of course Diarmuid. Under the read more if you are interested -

Koyanskaya savored the looks on their faces as they beheld the vial.

One dose of antidote. The only contingency plan.

It didn’t take long for the realization to sink in, but Koyanskaya quickly added, “Oh, and don’t even think about splitting it between the pair of you. The poison is well-integrated into your system now. You’ll require the full dosage if you even hope to have a chance at surviving.”

Goredolf’s pale, sweating face was a special treat. Either he was a bigger idiot than Koyanskaya had thought, or he was a true mage, who didn’t realize that Zoe Venier would probably let him take the antidote without much fuss if he only had the sense to ask.

Poor girl, Koyanskaya thought, smiling faintly as she watched Zoe attempt to school her features into stoicism. It didn’t come naturally to her, that was for sure. She was a quiet girl, normally, though she’d been known to display quite the temper. But in the face of her own death... Oh, she was frightened. Even after all this time, after all she’d survived. Perhaps she was more frightened than ever before.

But the ensuing squabble quickly lost its spice for Koyanskaya. Goredolf suggested that they duel with rock-paper-scissors. Zoe, with a wry, faint smile, accepted. While they haggled over terms, Koyanskaya decided that she ought not to waste her time. Bound, sitting in the dirt, surrounded by enemies, fresh out of the eternal Shi Huangdi’s torture chambers - it wasn’t like she had anything else to do but gather more intel in her condition. Even if she would inevitably turn against Chaldea later, she should learn all she could about such a valuable client.

There were many Servants with Zoe this time - a surprising number, actually, considering the amount of mana it would likely take to sustain them. Given her present condition, she surely was feeling the strain of it. But of the motley crew, there was only one that Koyanskaya didn’t really know yet.

And just her luck, he stood over her side, guarding her.

Diarmuid ua Duibhne, Lancer. According to the records that they’d obtained from Chaldea, he was one of Zoe Venier’s original three Servants. He was not spectacular, a thoroughly average hero from an obscure legend. Koyanskaya wasn’t in the business of underestimating anyone but even she took one look at his perfect, beautiful face and dismissed him.

But he’d changed.

He had not disappeared, nor had Zoe re-summoned him. He had simply changed at some point, not long after Koyanskaya had left the Scandinavian Lostbelt. Rather than the famous twin spears, he now carried two blades, one of which was nearly as tall as he was and radiated a positively demonic aura. His combat parameters seemed to have expanded somewhat due to the class change, but otherwise, there was nothing different about him. But a normal Servant changing themselves was impossible, and this was doubly true for Diarmuid ua Duibhne, who had been defined by his curses, if by nothing else.

Koyanskaya had been wrong to ignore him, that was for sure.

But she was big enough to admit that. Now it was time to have some fun.

Eyeing him, she spoke with a sweet idleness. “You know, I really have to wonder if she’s feeling the affects of the poison or not.”

Diarmuid kept his eyes squarely on Zoe. It didn’t take a genius detective to know that she was his ultimate weakness, in all the ways that mattered.

“I mean,” Koyanskaya continued, with a smile. “What’s her body count at now? Well, the last one is easy, just ten thousand, but we never did get an accurate estimate of the Yaga population, come to think of it. Does it count if they were technically beasts? What do you think?”

He didn’t even react to her words. It was not in Koyanskaya’s nature to crave attention from beautiful men, but the silent treatment annoyed her. It almost wounded her pride.

“In any case, do you want to hear my theory?” Koyanskaya looked up, putting all her weight into her gaze. “I think that - despite all the blood on her hands - Zoe simply believes that everything she’s done has been completely justified. That’s why she isn’t showing any symptoms. Can you imagine? Obliterating entire worlds, entire cultures, erasing it from existence, from memory. For that not to bother her in the slightest - it’s chilling! Do you think that maybe she even enjoys - “

“It seems to me,” said Diarmuid, “that you fundamentally misunderstand who we are.”

Koyanskaya smiled. “Oh?”

“For example,” Diarmuid went on, still watching Zoe and Goredolf. They were nearly ready to begin their matches now. “When you mocked the Director before, I thought you had simply picked him out to be an easy target. Someone with his disposition must be child’s play for you, naturally. But now you’ve admitted that you don’t understand the first thing about Zoe, either.”

“Why, perish the thought!” Koyanskaya simpered, baring her teeth in a wicked grin. “I pride myself on my information-gathering efforts, you know.”

Diarmuid shrugged. “I would have assumed that you weren’t capable of understanding humanity, given what you are. But if you can’t even grasp the basics about someone like Zoe, then maybe we don’t need to be worried about you after all.”

But this was too good to be true. Koyanskaya tried to think back - had she ever revealed to Chaldea that she was a Beast? Perhaps Holmes had figured it out, or even the little Da Vinci, but this was the first time they had all been together since Shi Huangdi had separated the group, and they were preoccupied with the antidote. There was no way that Diarmuid could have known her true nature, unless he had recognized it on his own.

“I guess that’s true,” said Koyanskaya. “I wouldn’t know her nearly as well as someone like you. After all, you’re her loyal Servant - the perfect knight who services her every need.”

At last, Diarmuid deigned to look at her. His expression was withering. Not outright murderous, but he definitely contemplated the idea of drawing his swords. And in her current condition, Moralltach might even damage her if he really threw his weight into the strike. But naturally, he wouldn’t. His honor wouldn’t allow him to strike a prisoner, and to strike such a powerful blow would drain too much mana from his precious Zoe.

Speaking of which, they seemed to be at the last round. Zoe was patting Goredolf’s arm reassuringly as he blabbered.

“Look! They’re nearly done. Aren’t you going to stop them?”

Diarmuid sighed, and faced away from her again. “Forgive me, but may I ask if there’s a point to this conversation?”

“Obviously, Zoe wants to take the antidote herself,” said Koyanskaya, as if he hadn’t spoken. “She’s a pragmatist. I almost admire that about her, you know. But she’ll give the antidote to Goredolf out of fairness - because it’s the right thing to do - even though she knows as well as I do that Chaldea needs its only Master far more than it needs an oaf of a Director. And what? You’re just going to it back and let that happen?”

Predictably, Diarmuid replied. “In fact, her sense of honor is something that I greatly admire about her. And just because you do not recognize the Director’s value doesn’t mean he has none.”

Koyanskaya clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes. “Ugh, you’re like a fortress. Don’t you ever get tired of playing fair?”

When he didn’t answer her, Koyanskaya pretended to think about her next words for a moment.

“Hmm... well, I guess you’re not totally out of options. I guess if you’re going to let this antidote go to waste, you could always just take her to your father’s house if you can’t find another dose.”

The temperature seemed to drop ten degrees.

Got him, thought Koyanskaya, and smiled.

“Oh, no, dear me, you’re right,” Koyanskaya went on, barely concealing her elation. “That won’t do. Not really his wheelhouse, I’d say. Well, it’s not as if you don’t have other options. Though, come to think of it, you’ve never really been the type to introduce a girl to your family.”

Diarmuid was staring at her, his mouth a thin line, his eyes unfathomable.

Koyanskaya smirked back. “What? Don’t you think Aengus Og would be just thrilled to have guests? I hear it’s lovely in Tir na Nog this time of year. Well, it’s always lovely, but that’s beside the point, isn’t it?”

The temperature adjusted; Diarmuid’s expression stabilized, and became bored again.

“Congratulations,” he said. “Though I’m not sure what you hope to gain by lording this information over me. I have no power within Chaldea’s internal structure, and I won’t act without my Master’s permission.”

The sarcasm in his voice was simply delicious. Koyanskaya leaned in.

“What I don’t understand is why someone like you would become a Servant in the first place. Why surrender yourself to the Counter Force when you could spend an eternity in paradise? And it’s not as if you could possibly have any reasons to love humanity. You might not have as many curses as our mutual friend Yu, but...”

She waited eagerly for him to respond, but he simply regarded her carefully for a moment. Koyanskaya was thrilled to learn how smart he was. In fact, he suited his Master very well. Quiet and observant. The shadow of the blade. The steady right hand. And he was far less human than he’d allowed Chaldea to believe. Did Zoe even know the truth?

In any case, Koyanskaya hoped that Holmes was listening to their conversation.

“I have no reason to curse humanity,” came Diarmuid’s reply. “Again, you show a lack of understanding. I simply followed the natural course of my fate.”

Goredolf lost the final round of rock-paper-scissors, but Nezha and Mordred held him down so that Da Vinci could inoculate him anyway. While he blubbered thanks and took dramatic, gasping breaths, Koyanskaya watched Zoe Venier. Watched her smile disappear for a moment. Watched her push her glasses up her nose, and twirl a lock of her long hair around her fingers. For a moment, the Master of Chaldea was nothing but a sad, frightened little girl.

And if Koyanskaya had noticed, then surely, so had Diarmuid.

“Oh, what to do, what to do...?” she murmured. A giggle worked its way up her throat, and she had to suppress it. “Now, I say this with all possible manner of feminine delicacy - but you guys are royally fucked. Humanity’s a lost cause, and that’s even if you somehow manage to find a second antidote. Your merry band of heroes hasn’t even gotten to the real Lostbelts yet. If my half-assed assassination attempt can knock you back this far, then how do you expect to face the rest of the Crypters?”

“We’ve faced steep odds before. I have nothing but confidence in Zoe, and in our allies.”

Koyanskaya shook her head. “I seriously can’t believe you. You have a get-out-of-the-apocalypse-free card at your beck and call.”

“That’s not how it works.”

His voice contained a hard edge now. She’d touched a nerve.

“Then, enlighten me. Because you know as well as I do - taking Zoe into the Land of Youth would end all of this. What do you care for humanity’s survival? She would never suffer again. Isn’t that what you wish for?”

She saw his eyes glint, shift for a fraction of a second, and that was how she knew she’d won. No matter how noble he pretended to be, there was still a part of him that had understandable human instincts. Fortunately for his sake, Diarmuid was spared from answering as Zoe herself approached, to engage Koyanskaya in conversation regarding their upcoming plans.

The knight was quiet, and kept one eye on her constantly going forward.

All in all, Koyanskaya considered this a resounding success.

#fate grand order #mastersona #lb3 spoilers #i guess?? idk it's late i'm going to bed goodnight everyone

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common-blackbird · 3 years

Photo

Started!

This is my Inquisitor (so overjoyed you can be a qunari), her name is the default Herah and I decided I’m going to approach this game by staying true to a character and not looking to do everything and be on everyone’s good side u_u

I want to make a good background for her so i’m not telling anything. Yet. I’ll just say she’s a qunari mercenary and prefers using two-handed weapons.

Highlights from today:

Studying history does pay off! This was a reference to the famous book in environmental history - Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. So proud i recognised it x)

Also i don’t have a good shot of solas but he cracks me up so much.. The guy has a posture of the typical retired grandpa (the only thing missing is to have him walk with his hands on his back). And there’s a scene where the party sees the rift and there’s the inquisitor facing it, cassandra bracing herself and solas... just standing like an old man

On a side note, Cassandra is so gorgeous and good and i already love her, i just keep taking shots of her TAT

As for varric, it’s so different than from da2, this is so much more “official” and you can see he’s the same as ever, but you’re not hawke, hawke’s not here, the gang’s not here and there’s nothing casual about the whole situation T-T

And lastly, my inquisitor has a horse now, i didn’t know that was possible in the game ;__;

played some more...

Let me start with.... The advisors! (+ cassandra... or is she also an advisor too?)

What a bunch. I love Cassandra’s and Leliana’s faith having a crisis bc they believe that Inquisitor is the Herald of Andraste and the way they deal with it. It’s really interesting. Leliana is completely opposite than what she was in origins and i’m surprised it doesn’t bother me at all! I love seeing this whole darker side that was only hinted at in origins, though it’s also sad when i think how she used to be. I wonder how she’s gonna overcome her doubting of faith.

Josephine is a delight. I keep using her for almost every war table mission for now. She radiates capability. She reminds me of those bureaucrats that are super nice and helpful and chill and even if you’re doing everything wrong she’ll just smile and say “it’s ok, we can fix it” and then goes and fixes everything herself (and you feel this insane amount of gratitude you send a whole separate email to thank her for her patience and help )

As for Cullen... It’s interesting... I got impression from what i saw in the fandom that he’s supposed to have had his allegiance changed and him rejecting the templars should have been him ultimately siding with the mages (or at least being anti-templar(?)), and that turning point that could have been a great way to show his character development during the game. Which i agree, only... i did not get that impression from the game so far at all. I mean, so far everything that i can remember him saying is totally smth he’d say in da2... He didn’t leave kirkwall bc of his disappointment with the templar order, he doesn’t seem to have any issues with the templars except those who go full war mode instead of trying to balance the situation. And it’s a really chaotic situtation, i love how they did it.

This line was amazing, i wish there was a special cutscene for that.

I’m loving the way they made this huge religious organisation in crisis have a complete collapse with the death of a key figure. I love the concept of inquisition and problems that it poses. I love you can see everyone’s reasoning and doubts reflect their background, but also see why inquisition can be understood as another power-grasping organisation trying to topple the templars, the mages and the chantry. Everything is divided. We got templars leaving the chantry, seekers leaving the chantry(?), rebel mages, loyal mages, rebel mages gone rouge, templars gone rouge, and suddenly there’s another organisation forming that you can totally believe is just another powerhungry force trying to get the piece of the cake by taking advantage of the power vacuum left by the sudden lack of the religious authority. (and only we know we’re The Good Guys). I love that we have characters who need to believe in the greater plan, characters who question the greater plan, and characters who want to utilise the power of belief and characters who don’t care for divine plans. The chaos is real and it feels real. I love that the centre figure of the whole holy business is a heretic of another culture. For the chantry this is the lose-lose situation (unless the inquisitor becomes religious by the end of the game). Which is why this line works so well.

Ok, now shorter updates:

Red Jenny! I know it’s not her actual name but it is in my head. Where’s that box i delivered ages ago >_> Anyways, she makes my brain work on 150% capacity. I can understand what she means only after i go over it for 5 times.

Forgive me but oh my god, i can’t believe that i can recognise one voice actor and now i have another mental image whenever he speaks. Like, he’s really good at bringing out a new character, but when he gets more casual he sounds like kanan jarrus from star wars rebels and i’m just “what are you doing here, space dad” ;__; Hopefully it’ll get old and i’ll be enjoying more iron bull. he seems nice...

Vivienne on the other hand is like a reverse Josephine(?) She seems insanely capable but hates customer service, however somehow she likes you very much and will do everything you need for reasons you can’t fathom. Have a screenshot. So classy. I already feel humbled.

and lastly, BREAKING NEWS: aveline finally hired carver ;__;

Tbh Kirkwall is still a mystery and i have so many questions but i don’t think i’ll get any answers... If a powervacuum of the divine cause this much chaos, how’s kirkwall faring without a new viscount? Like, yeah, aveline can keep in check, but umm it’s in a very vulnerable state which makes it a good target for any invasion... didn’t sebastian promise bloodshed?

That’s all for now, bc otherwise i’ll start writing an essay on cassandra.

We befriended a bear in the hinterlands!

lets start with this cool shot

so, i have been to the mages and to the templars and... i sided with the templars.... First i was all for mages since they offered negotiations while the seeker just walked away, but then it turned out that was a trap, there’s also tevinter mages there (which is a red flag for my inquisitor) and then there’s some time magic involved (which is a big no for me), and i just walked out. Felt bad for the mages but my inquisitor comes from a culture where mages have their tongues cut so...

Also this guy deserves a medal for putting up with corrupted superiors and annoying nobles.

And i met cole ;__; Where are Rhys and Evangeline ;___;

the templar mission was ok i guess... I was surprised that red lyrium was apparently circulating around for some time, not sure if that means since meredith or even before. I love the stories of corruption tho and to imagine what it’s like to be trapped in this organisation that just keeps breaking everything it stands for

As for the important mages, i’ve Dorian twice since i bailed out on him in Redcliffe :I I love the guy, he seems arrogant yet so kind (like, no one would have carried that annoying priest and yet he did, after he ran from his own people to warn us after i ditched him in Redcliffe? man ;A;) Every time i go with “ok the inquisitor fears tevinter and distrusts this rando who just popped in” i am marinating in guilt.

and then we fight some mages and die several times but we succeed and we meet the bad guy...

Is it an unpopular opinion to say that i like him as a villain so far? i saw so many jokes on his incompetency. Idk, i like that part where he said that he reached the fade in someone’s name, it makes me think he’s not just power-hungry person(?) who’s just evil,but was originally serving someone, and he said that the gods were either gone or corrupted and he spent hundreds of years thinking what to do with whatever happened so he seems like he knows what he’s doing and maybe(!just maybe) he is trying to fix things that are wrong but we can’t see that? And of course he hates the inquisitor, he has to redo his stuff all over again, i’d hate the inquisitor too. im probably looking too much into it. My wish is that, if he’s evil, he became so gradually, but originally had good intentions? Or there’s more to things going on that we just don’t know and he does... Maybe this was his tragic attempt to fix things but he would ultimately fail and be branded as a villain etc etc. I’m getting carried away

If it turns out he’s just evil for the sake of being evil then feel free to tell me so now so i don’t embarrass myself further with plotting myself lol.

A side note, is he the Architect? Or the same? In DA2 he says he’s a tevinter magister, right? and he ceased to be a human. Also in DA2 it seemed like he was the boss, and here he said he reached in the name of someone (probably more important than him). But what is the Architect then?

And with that we reach the skyhold.

in skyhold

I didn’t know you meet hawke so soon ;__; i thought that was like, somewere more to the end of the game, since the big decision and all. But the mission is already opened and i am going to procrastinate on it until i finish every side mission :<

Also he is so sad ;__; i understand, but at the same time... all that humour now bitter sarcasm :’(

(also, very shallow remark, but i really really prefer his looks in da2 than here... it’s like they softened him. He’s more...oh god idk bearish(???) than hawkish(????) you know what i mean? the nose isn’t as sharp anymore, the beard is... what is it with the beard... anyways i get the game has its limits so it’s fine. it’s fine! fine.)

then there was the fight that i remember since twitter >:D

It’s what made me want to play dragon age and i finally reached it T-T so good! I love how you can see the both sides and everything they say is true but they’re so angry at themselves they’re taking it out on each other TAT

Cassandra later says Hawke probably wouldn’t have joined the inquisition even if she found him, and i wonder now if that’s true... At first i thought, nah, Hawke has too much of a hero complex, he would feel too responsible to just say no. Besides, he’s with the inquisition now (tho i can’t find him anywhere anymore!). But at the same time, the way da2 ends was such an iconic walking away from everything, and not taking into account the hocus-pocus rift stuff, i can imagine him refusing, especially seeing how bitter he is now. It’s also a question of how much would have cassandra told him i guess. idk, what do you think? Would he lead or nah?

another person i want to find but can’t in skyhold are the templars with ser barris. i can use them on war table missions but otherwise they’re non-existant? i forgot to talk to him back in haven but now i wonder if it was even possible and if he was even available there, since he isn’t here. I spent hours just running around skyhold looking for the guy :(

and then everything becomes unimportant bc aaaaa!! she! is the arcanist! Dagna! im so happy and proud(?) she went and reached her goals x)

anyways that’s all for now, laters

some random updates:

so i did the halamshiral and gave up to my “stick to the character” mode, and nothing went my way, but that’s life. Met morrigan! i almost forgot she appears lol. And, despite also jumping on the wagon of give-morrigan-better-clothes train, i have to admit seeing her in her old clothes was a relief after that dress at the ball. It’s not the way the dressed looked, but the way she moved in it... god im shallow

i also initially didn’t like morrigan being at orlais court of all places, but after the conversation that’s supposed to explain why she’s there i’m kinda ok with it. I mean, i still need some more info. Wouldn’t Tevinter be better? she’d practically become a magister overnight if she got this good in the game so fast. It’s also unconvincing how everyone knows everything in orlais but somehow nobody connected that the random kid that has no bakcground whatsoever with morrigan who keeps checking on him? But at skyhold she’s just “hey i have a kid, he’s no trouble, right?” but hey, it’s morrigan. She can do anything. I’ll just have another story idea in my head.

Then there was news of the new divine that could be either cassandra or leliana and i don’t honestly know whom to choose. I’d prefer leliana over cassandra simply bc cassandra is more of a military mind, while the position of the divine would be more political. But lately every mission with leliana was spy spy, kill kill... Do we really want that for a religious leader? On the other hand, it would nicely round up her story from origins to inquisition... But cassandra is more of a public figure than leliana is...

when cassandra said:

“I want to respect the tradition, but not fear change. I want to right the past wrongs, but not avenge them. And I have no idea if wanting any of them makes them right.”

great moment. She’s usually so convinced and rash, i forget she’s more doubtful and open minded than what she looks like. Everything about cassandra is different from the impression she gives ;__; I love her so so so so much. (when she says she considers the inquisitor her friend i melted, next time varric pulls up the “seeker has no friends” joke, my heart will no longer be breaking).

I did a bunch of personal missions. Some were cool, some were ????. Also there were war table missions with zevran, that was cool. Also i love the codex entries in skyhold. The archery competition with varric banned? Dancing lessons failing bc lace harding is on the move all the time? Perfect.

And i met chargers, i like them, and aaah that staff-bow from the trailer is such a cool idea ;A;

What i don’t get with bull’s chargers is - they’re a mercenary group right? But isn’t swordselling seen as the complete misunderstanding of the qun? I get only bull is qunari, but he’s the leader of them? How is that not frowned upon?

And lastly, i don’t think i’ve said this, but i love that they added codex entries in the loading screens. love it.

update

After months of procrastination, i have faced my fears and have met alistair. it was very anticlimatic beating 11 level monsters when i was level 21...

but.. ALISTAIR TAT He’s changed... but not changed... but changed! Like, his personality is the same, but he’s more serious, doesn’t run from responsibilities, isn’t as bitter as hawke (also, why do i get impression that i am supposed to get the impression that they’re friends? they’ve met like, once, and talked for less than a minute.. whatevs. let’s pretend they’ve met again when on the run), i really love the inquisition alistair ;;__;;

Also, i managed to get that awkward demon baby family reunion :D

know that morrigan says the vaguest generic thing “i told him his father was a good man” bc of various world states, but i also think she’s come a long way not to mock alistair, and then when he notices that she didn’t use the opportunity he mentions that the kid changed her and she’s like “pfft, yea right, you wish”....

... when she was the one who said that in the first place ;;__;;

Awwww :> I love that they bicker but softly. Kids have grown up :’) Anyways, when will alistair start paying alimony

The only weird one is Leliana bc when morrigan was introduced she was like “danger danger” (smth i’d sooner think alistair would do), and when alistair is (supposedly) in skyhold, Leli doesn’t even mention him, only hawke. bruh, what were they to you, you almost died together ;;__;;

oh i also slayed a dragon. I didn’t even want to fight that dragon. It was a hillarious feat of inquisitor, solas, cole and blackwall, all on level 21, having to chug all the health potions right at the beginning while fighting a dragon that was... level 13, after which i just let go of controls and suddenly everyone was hella good at fighting and slayed it (only cole needed revival several times).

And, befitting the wild-dream feel that it had, when i got back to skyhold and visited companions, suddenly i was drinking pelin with iron bull, and he’s reminiscing on that fight with the dragon and i’m like

it was awful and you weren’t even there.

i forgot to update

but last time i was playing i finished the hawke/alistair sacrifice and all the torture i went through with deciding whom to sacrifice vanished bc frankly, at one moment, i wanted to sacrifice both of them, but in the end it was much more easier to sacrifice hawke bc inquisition hawke just didn’t feel like hawke to me, while alistair improved since the origins!

and now i remembered why i didn’t update, in the same day cassandra rejected me so i was sad and didn’t continue playing since then (i think last time i played it was around easter?)

new update

BLACKWALL!! or should i say Thom Rainier? Wow, what an arc! It was also so fun bc i was all strict mode, picking the third option, telling him his life is in inquisitor’s hands and all that, but in the end i set him free. He’s so good, a true knight T-T

Also i romanced sera. we’ll see how that goes.

Also, fave point in the game so far, i wanted, for so long, to sit at that val roeayoux (can’t spell) cafe and finally did it with cole’s personal mission. THANK YOU COLE YOU TRULY CAN READ PEOPLE’S MINDS.

another interesting thing was that after specialising as a reaver, cassandra said that drinking dragon blood makes you grow scales and become mad. Iron Bull said that inquisitor smells better bc dragon blood and that qunari generally smell better than humans. So i’m guessing qunari have fractions of dragon in them? ok...

and now i started that mission with morrigan and the puzzles are killing me lol, i am this 👌 close to just go chase calpernia and give up on a well of sorrows.

#it's a terrible time to start a dragon age game but it's the only time #meet me at val royeaux with my pal cole fixing people's lives every sunday 5 pm

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robron1609 · 3 years

Text

Remembering Robron 2020

Day 2 - Friendship

Prompt: "You took all the pillows, so I'm using you as one."

AO3 Link:

Pillows

Robert guarded the mountain of creased, misshapen pillows at the foot of his bed, a smirk spreading across his face. Aaron sat across from him, leaning on the headrest with his knees drawn up to his chest as he held his chin up high. His feet relentlessly prodded Robert in the back of the kneecap, much to no gain.

“Seriously?” Aaron sulked, regaining his lost breath.

Robert leant backwards, letting the pile of pillows consume him to rub it in his best friend’s face. His lanky, overly smug frame was stretched to its limit, sprawled out across the feather-soft barrier of pillows and blocking Aaron’s access to each and every single one of them.

Robert sniggered, “Just because you’re weak, mate.”

“You have five hundred pillows and won’t even give me one?”

Robert craned his neck, peering around the mess on his bedroom floor. He shifted his weight to reach for a rather large plush toy cat with a pink bowtie that Victoria had left discarded in his room the night before. He lobbed it at Aaron who caught it with a scowl.

“There you go.”

“Cheers.” Aaron replied, shooting Robert a melodramatic smile that spewed sarcasm.

Aaron flung the fuzzy cat up in the air before booting it across the bedroom, watching as it slammed into the bedroom door with such momentum that the power of it brushed the sticker-littered door shut.

“Nice one.” Robert remarked, his eyes closed as he rested his hands on his stomach. Aaron’s gaze had naturally landed on the rise and fall that came from Robert’s steady breathing before drifting up to his light pink lips that twitched a little when he was really relaxed; but it went a miss by both lads.

Aaron sighed before getting up to route through Robert’s desk for the television remote. The only noise in the meantime was the rhythmic ticking of the slanted clock on the wall. It was framed by a few pieces of homework and revision that Robert’s dorky brain had deemed important enough to pin up on the wall for the duration of Year 11.

The noise of the second hand then faded away, replaced with the distant nattering of Jack and Andy’s voices coming from somewhere downstairs, bouncing off the stone walls at an irritating volume. They sounded joyous, laughter trickling into their conversation and all it did was wind Aaron up, reminding him of Robert’s countless rants on the way home from school each afternoon. He would go on and on about how his dad and brother grew closer each day, pushing Robert further and further into that blind spot. Each bluster would always finish in tears that flowed freely by the time they ended up at Robert’s front porch.

Letting it go, Aaron finally ended up with the TV remote in his hand. He pointed it at the TV but got nothing in return. Scoffing, he peeled the back off, only to be greeted by a blank, empty space where the batteries should be. He chucked the control on the bed with a frustrated puff of his cheeks.

“Andy stole ‘em.” Robert simply said. Aaron just rolled his eyes because what else would he do?

As the sun set, Aaron successfully hunted down a pack of double A’s and the two friends shared a greasy, takeaway pizza under the glow of Robert’s lava lamp with reruns of Top Gear playing on the 24 inch television screen. The window rattled and howled and there was a chill in the bedroom as powerful gusts of winds squeezed through the cracks in the windowpane, jumping at each boom and clash of thunder. If Robert listened really carefully, he could hear the familiar sound of the loose TV aerial flapping against the chimney. It was a miracle that they were seeing any pixels at all as the sound kept dipping and cutting off. But neither Robert or Aaron cared, they were just grateful to be in each other’s company.

They were both stuck in the exact same positions as earlier, Robert submerged in his pretentious amount of pillows and Aaron at the other end of the bed, wrapped tightly in Robert’s duvet. As he wiped his lips with the sleeve of his school jumper, Aaron tossed the now empty pizza box aside. High pitch but almost inaudible whistle sounds came from Robert’s nostrils with each slow breath he emitted and Aaron stopped blinking, fighting away a smile. He shuffled around, dragging his duvet cape with him as he rested his head on Robert’s belly. He let out a content sigh.

“What are you doing?” Came Robert’s anxious voice.

“You took all the pillows, so I’m using you as one.”

Aaron’s victory was small. It meant nothing, it was just Aaron being his cheeky self. But the trail of sweat clinging to Robert’s back disagreed. He had gone from warm to hot and didn’t know what to do with himself. He wanted to jump up and shake away that feeling of the back of Aaron’s head pressing on his tingling stomach, the hair at the nape of Aaron’s neck tickling his belly button. Robert’s weary eyes flickered to the clock. It was nearly nine thirty.

“You should probably get home.” Robert said, sitting up so that Aaron had no choice but to shift with a groan.

Aaron frowned, “I thought I was sleeping round tonight?”

“I just remembered I’m needed on the farm in the morning.” Robert muttered. “You’ll probably deck me if I wake ya up at the crack of dawn.”

Robert couldn’t tell if his lies were absorbent enough for Aaron to soak up but either way there was a glint of dread in Aaron’s eyes that shattered his heart into lots of little pieces. He cleared his throat before handing Aaron his tattered school bag, eyes going blurry as he focused on the large coca-cola stain at the bottom of it.

“Sorry.”

Aaron just grabbed his blazer, swinging it over his shoulder as he scuffed his shoes across the hardwood floors. Once Robert had glimpsed out the window to see Aaron trudging down the driveway past the puddles that were reflecting the orange glow of the outside light bulbs, Robert slumped miserably against the back of his bedroom door and let the floodgates open, tears rolling down his pink cheeks one by one.

The following Monday came around quicker than the flick of a cat’s tail and Robert stood in their usual afterschool spot, shivering from the cold as he waited for Aaron to turn up. He leant against the rotting fence, grimacing at the streaks of moss and grime whilst watching the caretaker tirelessly shovel piles of grit onto the icy road.

Him and Aaron had a routine. The same routine they’d been doing together since that fateful day they became friends nearly two years ago. They would meet by salt bins at the top of the school field, start the treacherous path to the bus stop, hop on the bus to Emmerdale and listen to the same songs on Robert’s MP3 player that he’d bought with months worth of pocket money, chatter on their way up to Butler’s Farm and spend the evening playing monopoly or scrabble in front of the log burner as they toasted marshmallows. Most nights they would pair up to scramble something together in the kitchen whilst Jack and Andy grafted on the farm all night. But on Friday’s, they would both chip in to order a takeaway, whether that be pizza or curry. Never fish and chips though, Aaron was oddly persistent about that. They’d eat, they’d laugh and then if he wasn’t staying over Aaron would begrudgingly get the last bus home.

Robert couldn’t imagine his life without Aaron. Now now, not ever. Whatever he dreamed of, whatever he envisioned for his future; Aaron was always there. It all started on Aaron’s 14th birthday a couple of years ago, also known as the first day that a broken Robert had to go back to school without his mum there to fasten his tie and make his packed lunch in the morning. That whole day had been a blur and every inch of his body felt numb. He’d walked around with the kind of pain he would never wish on his worst enemy. That was until the last lesson of the day - Physics. This mouthy chav with weird spikey hair slouched on the chair next to him, wearing a giant ‘14’ badge and chewing way too much gum. He had somehow stayed in Robert’s life, and heart, from that day on.

Today, however, it was getting dark and Aaron was still nowhere to be seen. So for the first time in two years, Robert stepped on the empty bus back to Emmerdale by himself.

When he arrived home, he creaked the door open and flicked his bedroom light on, shuddering at the silence. He dumped his bag and let out a wivering sigh as he sat on the edge of his bed to pull his shoes off, letting them tumble carelessly to the floor. He sniffed, swallowing the scared, cowardly lump at the back of his throat. His watery eyes landed on the small collection of framed pictures on his dusty windowsill; one of his mum sporting an infectious smile a few months before she’d died, and one of himself, Aaron and Liv. He’d only met Aaron’s little sister and step mum once - the day they’d posed for that photo together. He hadn’t stayed for long, Aaron had been on edge the whole time, sending Robert away before his dad had even returned home from work. Aaron never speaks of the day he let Robert come round.

The display on Robert’s nokia came to life and Aaron’s name flickered on the screen. Robert answered it as quickly as humanly possible.

“Aaron? Where were you after school?”

”Can I come over?”

“Of course.”

The only response was a bleep at the other end of the line so Robert stayed put. And waited. And waited some more. Until an hour or so later when Aaron snuck into Robert’s bedroom, snowflakes melting away on his coat. Robert gasped slightly, eyebrows pressed together in a frown as he told Aaron to put his sopping wet jacket on the radiator and chucked him a chunky woolen blanket.

Aaron cosied up in Robert’s desk chair, picking away at the peeling leather on the side. He chewed nervously at the inside of his cheeks, gazing up at Robert through his eyelashes.

“Why did you suddenly get rid of me on Friday? And don’t lie to me again.”

“I- I told you.” Robert stammered, after a moment of uncomfortable silence that ran Aaron’s patience thin. “I was busy.”

“And I told you I don’t believe you.” Aaron retorted.

It wasn’t a complete fib. Robert had been busy, just not on the farm like he’d claimed. He’d spent that entire morning feeling sorry for himself, laying in bed as he stared vacantly at the cracks and tears on his bedroom ceiling with a stinging heart. Aaron’s name had illuminated Robert’s phone screen for hours, staring him in the face. It nudged him until the battery fell flat and Robert sulked over not having the bottle to press the green button. Instead of nicking the charger from Andy’s room, Robert threw his phone in the wicker shoe basket next to his wardrobe and buried his hand in the sand. Well, his pillow.

Robert wasn’t stupid. He knew that as much as he wanted it to, this... crush he had on his best friend wasn’t going away. It began as a flutter in the bottom of his stomach when Aaron did as much as give him the time of day. And as their friendship grew stronger, that little butterfly that Robert had gotten used to reproduced. It multiplied until a flock of them took over Robert’s body in a matter of months and it was powerful.

Aaron wasn’t stupid either. He’d noticed the not-so-subtle shift in their dynamic. At some point in the past couple of months, when they came back to the farm after school, the scratchy living room carpet they sat cross legged on had changed to the lumps and bumps of Robert’s spring mattress that had seen better days, the awkward silence had changed to a lack of boundaries, the playful slaps and punches had changed to hugs that lasted for just a little too long and the one versus one football matches in the park had changed to stingy little dinner dates that they both turned up to looking their best.

The squeaking of the wheels from his desk chair brought Robert back into the room and he looked up to find Aaron spinning in circles on the chair, like what Vic does when she’s waiting for her big brother to get off his arse and play Vets with her.

Robert perched at the edge of his bed, drumming on his knees.

Aaron spoke tentatively, “What is it, really? I can take it.”

Robert stuck his leg out, hooking the bottom of Aaron’s chair with his foot. It stopped spinning abruptly and Aaron then realised just how serious Robert’s tensed features were.

“Do you remember last summer when you caught me kissing that boy in one of the barns?” Robert asked, a little clumsily as he raced through his words.

“Yeah, the farmhand. We never spoke about that.”

“We didn’t need to.” Robert exhaled shakily. “Anyway, things went a little further. We ended up in here.”

Aaron felt a wave of jealousy splash over his feet which he tried his utmost hardest to ignore. “Okay. And then what happened?”

“My dad caught us before anything could happen. He sacked him on the spot and then he- he beat me black and blue, basically. He started proper shouting, kept saying how no son of his would ever-” The strain in Robert’s throat caught up with him and he couldn’t breath, scraping for air as his tears burned and hushed him. He felt Aaron’s hands on his trembling back, pulling him close enough to feel Aaron’s chest heaving in sync against his. It calmed him like a lullaby.

Robert could still feel the bruises from Jack's disgust that marked him for days. They’d followed him the next morning when he hobbled over to the church, sobbing and desperate to talk to his mum again. Just to feel her arms around him one last time, listen to her calming voice tell him that he was loved for who he was.

“Listen to me.” Aaron put his palms either side of Robert’s face, tilting the blond’s heavy head up to meet his eyes. “Whoever you like, whatever you like, it doesn’t matter. Okay? You’re still so amazing and Jack is mad for not seeing that.”

“Do you really mean that?” Robert asked through a sniffle.

“Of course.” Aaron smiled, rubbing Robert’s back to sooth him.

Robert dabbed at his tears with a balled up fist under his sleeve, counting softly and silently to try and calm his uneven breathing. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Aaron lunged forward to give Robert a tight hug. He nestled his head in the crook of Robert’s neck and Robert let one last tear fall, melting in Aaron’s uplifting embrace. With Robert’s nose snug against Aaron’s shoulder, he inhaled the warming scent of his best friend and the corner of his lips curled up. It was like he got high off Aaron’s smell and often used, no, needed it as relief when his head was mashed. Except this time, he couldn’t seem to get enough and when Aaron let him go he delved in, eyes squeezed shut, and planted his lips on Aaron’s. But before he even knew what he was doing, he felt Aaron’s palms press firmly on his chest, pushing him away.

“What are you doing?” Aaron gulped, a flash of panic flying across his face. He backed away from Robert like a threatened animal at the zoo.

Robert’s stare flicked repeatedly between Aaron’s slightly parted lips and his hand that hovered over the door handle ready to flee if need be. Except Aaron wasn’t leaving. He’d froze on the spot, chin trembling as his eyes glued themselves to Robert’s. It was like he wanted to tear them away with every fibre of his being but something was stopping him.

Robert shrugged, “I- I’m sorry.”

And he honestly didn’t know what was running through Aaron’s mind. Perhaps it was a reflection of his own memories. Vivid images of Aaron clicking his pen on the desk at school, head resting on the palm of his hand as waited for the bell to ring. When he thought Robert was solely focused on jotting down notes, Aaron would often let his eyes avert to the odd boy who had been taking up his daydreams that week. Wistfully gazing into the back of some boy’s head until he snapped his attention away and frantically scribbled in his text book, acting like all those thoughts and labels whirling around his mind from day to day weren’t important.

Robert had picked up on it and it kept him awake at night.

It had landed them both to this moment right now.

“Robert?” Aaron’s voice was timid.

“Mm?”

Aaron reached to put his arms around Robert’s neck, gently pulling him closer until their lips met again. Robert relaxed and kissed him back in a heartbeat.

8 Years Later

Aaron dangled the key to his and Robert’s new home off the tip of his finger. Their first home. He was standing in the centre of the unfurnished flat, Robert’s arm draped over his shoulder as he beamed at his fiancé.

“It’s going to take a lot of work but-”

Aaron cut Robert off, “It doesn’t matter, it’s already perfect.”

“Soft lad.” Robert noted.

“Oi!" Aaron jabbed Robert in the stomach. "There’s only one soft lad around here and it’s not me.”

Robert gave a light laugh before worming his hand around the back of Aaron’s neck and smiling into a kiss.

Years ago, as the last year of school had drawn to a close, the two of them had gone their separate ways. When their little bubble of secrecy burst and the honeymoon period came to an abrupt end, Robert fell to the black sheep of his family. With a long summer ahead, the feuding became tiresome and eventually drove him out of the village as autumn loomed. Aaron woke up one morning and Robert just wasn’t there. No note, no goodbye, nothing. Just a cold pillow and a long continuous beep when his number was dialled.

Aaron had never needed him more when things at home spiraled into dark, nasty and uncharted places and he felt constantly bruised and suffocated under the monstrous hands of the one person who was supposed to love him and keep him safe. With the help of Sandra and his mum, he’d successfully fought tooth and nail to put his so called father behind bars and leave him to rot all the way to hell.

Him and his mum's relationship had had a bumpy start but that can be expected when coming face to face for the first time in over a decade in a courtroom of all places. Hardly ideal. However, Chas battled seamlessly to prove herself and now they had got back the bond Aaron had dreamed of having since the day she upped and left. Aaron had got his life back. Even if it was incomplete until Robert had returned.

And as for Robert… well, that's a story for another day. For now, it remains one of those questions that lives on unanswered.

"So, pub or takeaway? Unless you want to cook." Robert asked, snagging Aaron's train of thought.

Aaron snorted, "And wake up on moving day with food poisoning? Nah, you're alright."

"Fair enough. Pizza it is." Robert patted himself down in search of his phone and pulled it out, his back scraping down the wall until he landed on the floor with a thud.

Aaron slid his hands in his pockets and parroted Robert, legs stuck out in front of him as he sat.

"We should've brought a cushion or something." Robert pointed out.

Aaron looked at Robert like he had hung the moon. "Don't need a pillow, I've got you for that."

As Aaron curled up and snuggled his head between Robert's stomach and lap, Robert wondered how his heart hadn't swelled up so much that it burst through the defences of his ribcage and flustered skin. Robert truly counted his luck stars because if he ever lost Aaron, he would lose his heart as well. But they were a long way from that. In this moment, his hand covered Aaron's and their engagement rings clinked together in sweet harmony.

#rememberingrobron2020 #robron3daybonanza2020 #robron #aaron dingle #robert sugden #myfanfic

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daemongal · 5 years

Note

Can I request a fic of Dante and his s/o kinda like you're Up and Away fic but maybe the s/O is curious and shyly asks Dante how it is to fly and he shows her? I just thought it would be cute

Of course! Lets just imagine this as the prequel to “Up and Away” I apologise if this isn’t quite as cute as you’d expected but I can’t help but write Dante this way :P

Turbulence

“I’ll meet you there babe, gonna get a head start and make sure it’s not looking too messy.” You winced as he summoned his sword into his hand and proceeded to impale himself through the stomach, something that you were sure you’d never get used to.

“Geez, surely there has to be a better way of doing that. It’s just nasty.” After an explosion of energy blasted hot air into your face, a hulking red demon stood where Dante once was, slightly hovering above the ground. Although unnerving and menacing in equal amounts, you couldn’t deny the sheer beauty of his new form. It radiated raw power from every inch of its body as its scales crackled with energy.

“See you in five.” The words were spoken from deep within his chest and raised the hairs on your arms as your body responded unconsciously in fear to the being before you. He didn’t scare you, but just being around him like this sent your senses, acute from years of demon hunting into overdrive. Your mind kept your body stilled, but every nerve in your body was telling you to flee. It had happened the same the first time he triggered into his normal form, but after a while you grew accustomed to the feeling of the potent demonic energy being right at your side. This however, would probably take a bit more getting used to.

You sighed as he ascended like lightening into the sky, shooting off the ground as if fired from a cannon, leaving crackling ground in his wake. You headed in his general direction on foot, the pace of a light jog in the hope that you would arrive before he had finished off the bulk of the fighting himself.

You muttered away to yourself, frustrated that you were so much slower than him and that the gap in your strength had grown even wider. The first time he had decided to fly to his destination rather than walk for a “change of scenery”, he had asked if you wanted to join him. You would be lying if you said you weren’t curious to know how it felt, the freedom of owning the skies, of looking down at everyone and everything from dizzying heights. To be cradled in his arms as you did so… you felt your face heat up at the thought. You brought your hands to your face as you shook your head.

“Stupid brain, stupid brain.” You slapped your hands to the side of your face in an attempt to knock the thoughts out of your mind. “Stupid Dante…” You dragged your feet, pouting your lips as you exhaled out of your nose in a huff. You had rejected his offer outright, playing it off as some kind of fear of heights, when really it was the thought of the closeness that terrified you… and excited you.

You quickened your pace again, snapping yourself from your thoughts as you cursed, you’d taken too long you just knew it. Low and behold, by the time you reached your destination Dante was finishing off the last of the stragglers. You stood an observed the sight unfolding; his huge figure waving his ridiculous sword, cleaving the grunt demon in two: Never stood a chance.

“Now that’s just complete overkill right there,” You shouted across the field, Dante’s form dropping to the ground as scales and spikes faded away.

“Yeah well, gotta let them know who’s boss, am I right?” You sighed. Another job, another fruitless effort and now you had to get back to the shop again. “Gotta admit though,” he started as he approached you, “I looked totally badass didn’t I?” He nudged you playfully with his elbow as you rolled your eyes.

“I mean, you were basically done by the time I got here. Leave some for me next time or I’m gonna start getting bored.” You turned to start walking back to the shop begrudgingly.

“Well that’s your fault for being too slow.”

“Oh pardon me oh mighty one, if you happen to remember correctly, I don’t have freaky demon wings. Bit hard to keep up with you when your shooting through the air.” Your voice was laced with sarcasm to cover the irritation that rattled through you.

“Oh but I do.” He responded with a smirk, looking all too pleased with himself. “The offer still stands you know. We could be back at the shop in ten seconds flat if you would allow me to be the pilot of your flight.” He bent his knee and leaned over into a mock bow, holding his hand out for you to take, winking at you in the process.

You scoffed, turning away in apparent annoyance to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks. You really couldn’t be bothered to walk back, but you couldn’t get the image of being bridal carried in his large demon arms out of your mind. You took a deep breath and turned back around to be met with his hulking form where Dante once stood, in the same pose you remember.

You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight; it looked ridiculous. Such strength and power bowing before you. Well, even at a bow he towered over you, his large hand still outstretched.

“Hmph, fine.” You pouted. “But only this once, and only because I’m equal parts curious and tired. Don’t think I’m making a habit out of this.”

His chest thrummed with a guttural chuckle. “Time to board then ma’am.” With a tut and a roll of your eyes you took his hand as he heaved you towards his body. His scales were cooler than you had anticipated having never touched them against your skin before. The air around him hummed, but not with heat as you had expected. They were hard and rough to the touch, but much less rock-like than you had thought they would be. Your cheeks began to heat at the contact, your mind reeling at what was to come. You were hoping he wouldn’t notice your face as you hid within his scales.

You gasped as his large hands scooped you from the ground to place you… over his shoulder? This wasn’t right, this wasn’t how you imagined it at all. A hand pressed against your back holding you in place as you started to shuffle uncomfortably.

“D-Dante, what are you-”

“And we are cleared for take-off!” Your stomach lept into your throat.

“Dante wai-” He launched you both into the air at incredible speed, the air in your lungs left at the ground below. You wanted to scream, to shout his name, to kick and scratch at him but your body was unable to move under the shock. Your eyes watered as the cool air battered your hair into your face. You gripped onto any spikes within reach for dear life until you stilled. Your knuckles were white, your throat raspy and your eyes sore as you blinked and gasped for air.

“Da-Dante you absolute piece of-” You stopped, stunned into silence as your vision focussed again. You were hovering about 1000 feet in the air over the city, the lights from the building lighting up the ground like stars in the sky. Dante adjusted his grip on you to move you into his arms, seemingly done with the fun and games, as you held onto one of his large horns for purchase.

“Wow… this- this is really something. I can see why you do this a lot.” You felt his chest vibrate with what could have been a hum or a purr as he held you close. “So, you’re an ass,” you poked him in the chest, near the large crack in his scaled, “buuuut I guess it was worth it.”

You both stayed there in silence for a few moments before Dante started grumbling.

“Ahh shit.”

“Dante, what’s wrong?” Your eyes widened in horror as the scaly arms holding you began to dissipate into human arms, along with his stomach, then his chest. “Dante? DANTE?!” Panic struck your whole body when you saw how wide his eyes were, as the demonic façade wore away.

“Shit, we stayed up here too long. I can only keep it up for a little bit!” As his wings on his back began to fade, your whole body lurched as you began to freefall, Dante’s arms wrapped tightly around you. You couldn’t tell if you were screaming, the air was whipping past you too fast, your lungs struggling to fill with the onslaught of sensations hitting you.

You wouldn’t survive this fall, you knew it. Dante would be fine in a few hours, maybe even minutes, but your weak human body would turn to nothing more than a red splat against the pavement at the impact. You gripped onto Dante for dear life as you closed your eyes tightly, awaiting your fate.

You felt his arms moving, shaking you slightly. No, he wasn’t shaking you, it was his body shaking. You opened your eyes for a split second, long enough to see the smile on Dante’s face, as laughter erupted from his chest. No, he hasn’t, he wouldn’t you thought.

“We apologise for the turbulence! We will be arriving at our destination shortly!” Before you could react, his body changed again, returning to the hulking form, wings sprouting from his back as he took to the air once more, continuing your original course. You had no words, no words and no reaction. You stayed still in his arms for the next few seconds before you reached solid ground once more.

You pushed yourself out of his arms immediately before toppling to the ground, your legs completely useless. From his shadow, you saw Dante had shifted back to his human form.

“And we have reached-”

“Don’t.” One word was all you could say, laced with malice, so much so Dante took a step back. You wobbled your way back to your feet, pleased that he didn’t outstretch an arm towards you as you would have had to fight the temptation to slice it clean off. “Don’t say a word. Not. One. Word.” There was nothing you could say or do to express how you currently felt, only silence seemed fitting as you hobbled your way into the shop.

Dante sheepishly followed, face expressionless at your pure show of rage. If it was possible for him to be scared of a human, he would have been. He held his tongue as long as physically possible.

“Babe-”

“Ah.” You held your hand up, silencing him, as you took a deep breath. “I am going to bed. I will not be coming out until I have regained enough of my self-control that I won’t stab you through the chest multiple times if I look at you. Goodnight and good-day.”

You started up the stairs as Dante stood in dumbfounded silence. “Oh, and I will never be flying with you again… EVER!” You slammed the door to your bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

Whether it was from the adrenaline or a result of you picturing Dante’s face in your head you’ll never know, but you began to laugh uncontrollably into your pillow. Your emotions began to calm and you bundled up under your quilt.

“He’s such a fucking ass.”

_____

Dante is a complete ass but i’d like to think he learnt a lesson from this. I’m sure you’ll forgive him after some mighty fine grovelling. Hope you enjoyed it!

#ask #dante #dante x reader #ficlet #sfw #dmc #dmc 5 #devil may cry #dante's an ass #but we love him anyway #hope you had fun reading this!

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princebugs · 5 years

Text

seasonal changes.

you can infer most of the plot by this little excerpt. it's a sneak peek to something i'm writing!

------------------------------------------

Intrepid oculars leered ahead, catching brief sight of the flurries surrounding and encompassing the male's relatively diminutive-statured build. A soft, yet disgruntled suspire is exhaled from parted margins, the breath transmuting into mere steam in the frost-bitten air. Shaky palms momentarily appear out of denim pockets, maneuvering around to then place a singular nicotine-filled cigarette between his index digit and middle finger, his left thumb configuring his lighter before setting the cig' aflame.

“Gavin, you'll show signs of hypothermia if you stay out here much longer,“ His shitty partner comments, slamming the vehicle's door behind him before meandering close to the human. Gavin merely scoffs, his lips wrapping around the delicious cancer stick, inhaling and feeling the burning smoke go deep into his lungs. Exhale.

Cue a snicker emitted from the short-statured male. “Maybe that's the point, tin-can.“

“Are you remarking or hinting at possible suicidal tendencies?“ The android tilts its cranium to the side in a curious manner. “If so, then I am oblogated to report it to Captain Fowl--“

“Nah, nah, geez. Calm yer tits, wires. I'm not Hank. Just a comment, y'know?“ Gavin can't help but roll his hues in irritation at the thing; it can't even tell the difference between sarcasm and actual statements. For a machine that was supposed to be extremely intelligent, it wasn't street smart. “Looks like Christmas came early this year, eh?“

Gavin's cerulean irises breeze over the area below him, glancing over the cliff to see the numerous amounts of Thirium splattered around the perimeter, easily detectible due to the snow. “An android bloodbath, who woulda thought?“

Though it was quick, Gavin notices the android's LED spin a bright red hue before switching back to yellow. Peculiar.

Silence between the two. Gavin feels the need to speak, and fill the air with something besides the snow around them. And so, he does.

“Y'know, snow reminds me of my family. We'd always go 'round the block to the house with the biggest hill,“ Another puff of smoke in-between sentences. Gavin has a brief internal query that the machine isn't listening, and a look to his right shows that its head, in fact, was reared towards him in a listening manner. Good. “Then, we'd use those lil' pans that you make cookies on---you know what I'm talking about?--and sit on them, sliding down the hill on the snow. We'd even have races. I'd win that shit all the time. My big bro wouldn't even try, but he made it seem like he was trying, y'know? Like, just for my sake. The good ol' day--“

“You never speak about your siblings. May I ask why?“

The male turns to it, his eyebrows furrowed both with confusion and frustration. He wasn't expecting the android to be... curious about his life. Probably just to gain more information about him. Oh well. Gavin's arms wrap around himself, his arms covered in goosebumps rising upon his skin as he struggles to ignore the cold.

“I, uh,“ Gavin struggles to recover from his ephemeral bewilderment, his free hand scratching the back of his neck, “well, my bro kinda... disappeared a while back? Sort of. I do have a lil' sister, though. Her name is Charlotte. She's in her teens now, I think--- the little phckin' gremlin...“

If Gavin was paying much attention, he would have caught the corners of the android's lips curling upwards slightly, in a soft smile.

Though, occuring right after that small action, Gavin is looking off to his left, and all he feels is a sudden weight on his shoulders. He almost jumps at it, before his optics glance at his body to examine it quickly--- oh. It's the android's jacket. It practically swallows him.

“You were shivering, Detective.“

Gavin began discerning and identifying a feeling of warmth spreading across his cheeks, possibly coating it with a faint tint of rose. Internally, he hopes that the machine won't notice his little spat of embarrassment there, and that his cheeks are only blushing from the cold. His free hand grips one side of the open jacket, pulling it closer to himself. He murmurs a soft thanks, huffing angrily afterwards.

The android chuckles. Gavin doesn't notice.

Again, silence. Though, not an uncomfortable one. Gavin fiddles with the jacket as he smokes his cigarette, pondering internally why the scent radiating off of the piece of clothing is actually appealing. Do androids have a naturally nice smell to them, or is it just Gavin's imagination?

His hues wander, glancing towards the android and feeling his cheeks grow even warmer than before.

The machine wore a black turtleneck, the sleeves rolled upwards to its elbows with its arms crossed in front of its chest, instead of located behind its back. This is the moment that Gavin notices that Nines has a graceful energy to it, almost exquisite. Handsome, even. And, in the descriptive words of Gavin's mind--- hot. Perhaps, for a mere moment in time, he considers the android on the same level as himself, instead of below him--- to say that simply, he considered Nines to be a human just like himself; before quickly shooing that internal idea away, hiding his face in the jacket.

If Nines was a human, Gavin would definitely have a crush on him.

The silence isn't comfortable anymore, and Gavin knows that it can tell, and it will speak to him soon. He's unsure if he wants the thing to speak, or just leave him to the silence. He'd rather suffer in silence at thoughts of a human version of Nines' being his boyfriend.

“Can you elaborate on your brother?“

Dammit.

Now, his right brow twitches with... anger, it seems. Gavin doesn't like to speak about his brother, save for the nice memories he has stored in his thoughts--- deep in the back of his mind. “He was cool while he lasted.“ So was the silence. He misses that.

Considering the fact that this is probably the longest amount of time between the two of them that they haven't begun a fight, Gavin tries to switch the topic--- change the subject to save this conversation and leave it on a good note.

“So, question for ya; do you think of Connor as your older brother? I mean, you're an updated model of him, right? So, technically...“ The human shrugged his shoulders, taking another quick inhale of his cigarette. Gavin wasn't expecting to be talking about feelings or anything, but here they are.

The RK900 unit emits a sigh, its head turning ahead to look outward amongst the city, its arms now behind its back. “I simply view the RK800 model as inferior to me, that is what I was programmed to do.“

Gavin denies the jolt in his chest--- pretending it never happened. The way the android spoke suddenly appealed to him in a different way, now.

“Well, how'd ya feel when you saw it get shut down, huh?“

The LED spins red. “Pardon?“

“You heard what I said, plastic prick. How'd ya feel? You sure you didn't feel a sort of connection to it, or a feeling of something? Or how do you feel when you look down at those android bodies down there? Do you feel shitty, like you might throw up but you can't because you're a machine? Huh?“ Gavin seemed to be interrogating it. “Look down there and tell me you feel nothing.“

Of course, Gavin trying to ignore his own feelings to try and push it onto something else; that emotion usually resulting in anger directed towards someone or something.

The android, surprisingly, follows the instructions, its oculars gazing down at the piles of bodies strewn on top of each other--- just for being deviants. While its LED spins red, it says nothing in return, for moments.

The air is thick between them.

Then.

“I am a machine, Gavin.“

So much for leaving the conversation on a good note.

Gavin lets out a scoff, his fingers releasing the rest of the cigarette before the sole of his boot steps on it, the cancer stick dissolving and disappearing amongst the icy sleet.

“C'mon, Nines. Let's get outta here.“

The scruffy male makes his way to the vehicle, while the RK900 waits, seeming to ponder as it looks down at the city. Brows are knitted together in evident slight frustration and contemplation.

“You comin', or what?“

“Yes, Gavin.“

He doesn't make note of the android calling him by his first name for the first time, and he doesn't make note of the sudden change in Nines' voice. Anyone just introduced to the RK900 unit wouldn't have noticed it, but Gavin does. That voicebox had some emotion in it.

He doesn't comment on how Nines never specifically told Gavin, "I feel nothing" whilst looking upon the corpses of its own kind.

He stays silent, much like the winter night.

#reed900 #gavin reed #rk900 #dbh rk900 #detroit: become human #gav900 #woooooo #fanfic

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thewrongjackpot · 4 years

Text

I hit the wrong jackpot. *Spoiler alert, it’s cancer.*

[Originally written 1/3/20]

Warning: There may be a fair amount of sarcasm throughout this post coupled with some dark humor. Also, if you’re new to this channel, please disregard a lot of the other ramblings here, unless one dares to be bored.

“What jackpot did you hit?” you may ask. I hit the cancer jackpot. You read that right. C-A-N-C-E-R. This fun-loving 26-year-old has been diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma and of a newer subtype called Sclerosing. Take those words in. I had to have Google repeatedly tell me how to say it before I got the hang of it. It’s a jackpot because to say it is uncommon in adults is an understatement. A friend told me I need to get my butt to Vegas with all this rare luck.

“Wait, what? How did this all happen?” asked no one. Here’s a fun “little” deep-dive into everything that’s been going on the past few months, and how I’ve been dealing with it. Remember, you chose to continue reading this long post from here on out.

Well, let’s take it back to early-mid August. It started with what I thought was just TMJ issues because I was stressing some and clenching my teeth, so my jaw and temple started off sore. It then progressed to limited range of motion with my jaw (opening/closing), a small protrusion along my temple, and some numbness on my face. The urgent care doc essentially told me it’s TMD, the muscle is swollen, to chill, and it’ll go away. Well, that was extremely off. I saw my primary doctor, who then referred me to an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor. Now, we’re at the end of November, and I had to take some MRIs and then was referred to another ENT doctor. I had a biopsy, and the doctor said it looks more mild-moderate than severe like he was initially thinking, but he was pretty sure it was malignant with how quickly it has been growing. Christmas Eve morning, I get a phone call. The final pathology came about, and it’s an intermediate grade Rhabdomyosarcoma. I was referred to a hospital with a Sarcoma specialist and saw her just after the new year began. She doesn’t know staging yet because she doesn’t know if it has spread anywhere else yet. I only had MRIs done and that was over a month ago now. So next week I get the joyous pleasure of more MRIs, a bone scan, a lumbar puncture, and a bone marrow biopsy. EXCITING. They’re also going to need to start chemo soon, so they’re working on getting that set up in the background. As of right now, the oncologist was saying it’ll be about 5 months of chemo, radiation and/or surgery, and then more chemo. More will be known in the coming weeks, but at least there’s finally a real start and direction to this all.

Needless to say, it’s been a crappy holiday season and last several months. Here’s a list of what this jolly (not green) giant growth in my head/neck has caused:

Swollen temple/face

Limited ability to open my mouth (~1.5cm)

Misaligned jaw

Numbness along half my face

Sharp shooting pains throughout my head/neck

Impacted breathing out of my left nostril

Fluid in my left ear (impacted hearing)

Trouble swallowing

Fatigue

Body aches

Pressure throughout the entire left side of my head

Large growth(s) inside my mouth encompassing cheek/mouth real estate

Accidentally chewing on said growths, which I think is the reason there’s blood in my mouth periodically

After my first meeting with the oncologist the other day, some topics hit home harder than others.

One of the points that almost made me cry on the spot was when I was asking about fertility. She was saying that she could recommend me to a fertility clinic to harvest my eggs. However, that could take 2-4 weeks, and we might not have that time to spare. I know that there’s so much more at stake, my health and well-being taking spot numero uno. I also know that there are other ways to still have kids, but it’s still such a depressing feeling and thought. Along with hearing that 2-4 weeks is not time that can be spared, it begs the question, “How bad/serious is this really?”. Having my own child is a choice that may never even be mine to begin with. I just always had this picture in mind about how life would be never thinking this is the luck I would be dealt. Then again, I don’t think anyone ever envisions something like this happening to them… Although, my vision of six dogs at any given time could become more of a reality. *shrug* (Honorable mention goes out to my brother who was cheering me up big time on this one.)

Next, the fear started to really set in when talking about all these tests that needed to be done. I’m absolutely terrified of pain, and the thought of all these huge needles makes me want to cry, throw up, and pass out. It’s not just the pain and needles I’m afraid of, it’s everything that comes along with the actualization of what this really is. Since we don’t know the full extent of this, my mind can’t help but think the prognosis is possibly more grim with all these tests needed and how quickly this tumor has dominated my face. I’m scared about having to go to treatments, having to feel sick, fatigue setting in, and withering away. I’m scared about losing my hair because, boy, let me tell you, I’ve always had long thick hair my whole life. There are only two occasions I can think of where my hair was shorter than mid-back. I’ve broken down crying several times in the shower while washing my hair; it was always a safety blanket for me. Although, I said I should jump the gun and get a bowl cut already haha. On a more serious note, I’m absolutely mortified that I’m not going to make it through this…but being a fighter and a survivor is in my blood, so I’m trying to not let that run my mind too much.

On a more physical and literal level, one of the most debilitating aspects of this is the limited range of motion with my mouth because I can barely eat. Eating has become almost a punishment because after a few bites of something, it hurts everywhere. It’s hard to swallow at times; it’s just all-around depressing. At this point, I’m closing in on having lost 30 pounds in about three months. I’m eating maybe 1000 calories a day. I try to force myself to eat, but it’s difficult. Some days everything makes me nauseous. I’ve mostly been drinking smoothies, eating soup, and other soft foods like mashed potatoes. Even when I am eating something, it’s extremely defeating when I wipe soup off my chin because the little piece of potato couldn’t fit in my dumb mouth and caused soup to drip down, and I couldn’t feel it because my face is too busy being numb. Moments like that are extremely disheartening. Stupid mouth.

Also, another difficult aspect of this is sleeping. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in months. No matter which way I lie, there is either uncomfortable pressure or some sort of pain. I’ve literally woke up crying like a fussy baby because it hurts so much, and all I want to do is sleep.

DESPITE ALL OF THIS, I’m down, but I’m not out. I still have so many things to be grateful for. My husband continues to be amazingly strong, knows how to comfort me when I need it, and has been picking up my slack. Some of my family members have seriously stepped up in ways I could not have imagined that genuinely caught me by surprise. For those family members who have been with me on this so far, they have been so supportive and simply there for me when I need them. My parents are doing whatever they can from wherever they are to help me, e.g. my mom is flying up next week to be with me. I have some solid friends, and even my husband’s friends have been amazing. Work is working well with me through this, and even my old boss and coworkers have been checking up on me. Side note: I saw this lady at work today (whom I rarely interact with) only to find out her brother got treated where I am by the same set of doctors, and she said his experience was great as was the staff. That was an unexpected nugget of good vibes I did not expect today or ever.

One of the other biggest items I realized a few days ago that I am extremely grateful for is having moved away from Hawaii. Since moving, I go back and forth on whether leaving was the best decision, but now who knows what would be of me if I didn’t. If developing this cancer was an inevitable piece of my life story, being in Hawaii would have been one of the worst things for me. For one, there are doctor shortages, so being seen would have been dragged out so much longer than here. Secondly, Hawaii does not have the specialists to even treat me. I would have had to fly somewhere else anyway. As an aside to this, I’m even more grateful that we moved to the west coast because family is more accessible than in DC, and my husband and I have friends here as well.

Well, that’s about it for now. I like to talk/write, so I’m honestly going to post updates on here even if they fall on deaf ears. Just like this page says, I’m someone rambling lol.

If you’ve made it this far, I’ll give you a cake pop one day or something.

TL;DR

I have a rare form of cancer that’s been progressing pretty quickly. A lot of it really sucks right now, but there’s finally some real direction in getting me treated. Also, I am surrounded by a lot of love and dope people, and I still have so much to be grateful for.

#cancer #chemo #sarcoma #rhabdomyosarcoma #tumor #jackpot #rambling #long post #coping #cancer sucks #dying

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harper-hook · 6 years

Text

Moment’s Peace | Harry Hook x Reader

Summary: Mal and her friends walk in on you and Harry in the middle of an intimate moment.

Warnings: Oral sex

Author’s Note: This is the sequel to Left Behind.

You rolled your eyes and clenched your fists, pushing past all the brightly dressed Auradon students. You never would’ve thought you’d actually make it here, especially after Uma’s stunt at Ben’s cotillion.

You knew adjusting to Auradon wouldn’t be easy but this was 1000 times worse than what you imagined! The amount of people who kept thinking you would be willing to forget that you’d been abandoned on the Isle for 17 years was ridiculous. Even worse, your sister and old gang were some of those people.

You mentally scoffed. As if. The only thing you and Mal had in common was that you were both Maleficent’s kids and you both had long purple hair. Something that you debated changing lately.

“Hey Mal! Has Ben-” Your eyes glowed and you spun around on your heel. “Get some fucking glasses!” You snapped at some preppy Auradon boy who reeled back in shock, slamming into the lockers with a loud slam.

The entire hall went quiet and you could feel everyone staring at you. You hoped your burning cheeks could be mistaken as anger. “Sorry.” The boy whimpered and sped off into the crowd of shell shocked students.

Great, now you get to deal with that. You gave everyone in the hall a cold stare before turning down the hall towards the dorms. You reached the last door on the left and went inside, shutting the door behind you.

You threw your bag onto the floor and flopped on the bed, pulling your buzzing phone out of your pocket. Auradon may be a pain but this phone was one of the upsides. “Ugh, leave me alone!” You growled as texts from Mal and Evie rolled in. Instead of replying to one of them, you tapped Harry’s name.

(Y/N): Come over plz, bad day

You waited for a few moments to pass, hoping Harry had his phone on. You weren’t in any mood to hunt him down. Your phone buzzed.

(Harry): Be right there

You sighed, relieved, and tossed your phone on your bed. You started pacing back and forward, feeling tension radiating through your muscles. “I’m not her. I’m not that traitor.” You muttered to yourself, memories of your mother being flashed through your head.

A knock at the door pulled you out of your thoughts. Before you could say anything, the door swung open an there stood your boyfriend with a murderous look in his eyes.

Upon seeing your distressed expression, his melted into one of concern. Kicking the door shut behind him, he crossed the room and pulled you into a tight embrace. You almost immediately melted as the smell of sea salt comforted you.

It was a rarity that anyone saw this side of Harry. It made you feel special. “What ‘appened?” Harry mumbled into your ear. With slight hesitation and stutters, you explained what happened.

Harry’s grip on you tightened, both of you being reminded of the constant teasing and bullying from the other Isle children in your youth. It had only gotten worse after your old gang chose good.

Harry held you for a few more moments, trailing his hook up and down your spine, making you shiver. This didn’t go unnoticed by Harry. With a cat-like grin, he continued moving his hook up and down your spine, leaning down to kiss the side of your neck.

You craned your head to the side, giving him more access. He moved further down, sucking lightly at the junction of your neck and collarbone. Harry took a step back and you got the hint.

As you shouldered your jacket off, you moved to pull your shirt off with it. A hand stopped you and you looked up at Harry. “Let me.” Harry murmured, pulling it over your head.

You used your hands to brace yourself on the edge of the bed as Harry dropped to his knees, kissing down your stomach. You let out a sigh of content as the throbbing between your legs increased.

“Harry...” You hissed as he bit lightly on your hip. In one swift move, he stuck his thumbs into either side of your skirt and underwear and pulled them down. You sucked in a breath as the cool air hit your skin, sending goosebumps down your legs.

“I’ve got ya.” Harry murmured softly, looking up at you. You felt his hands behind your knees as he sat you on the end of the bed and threw your legs over his shoulders.

With a small smirk, you dragged your hands through his hair, making him moan lightly. Your smugness was short lived as Harry nuzzled your inner thigh, his hot breath close your heat.

“Harry...” You whined, feeling him grin into your thigh. “Don’t tease me.” Any other time, you’re sure Harry would’ve continued teasing but he knew you needed this.

Without warning, Harry licked a wide strip up your heat. “Fuck!” You cried, legs jerking. You panted heavily, leaning back further on your elbows. Harry pulled back slightly, staring you in the eyes with a lovestruck grin.

Before you could say anything, he leaned back in, placing a harsh kiss on your clit. “Harry!” You cried, already feeling the knot in your gut tightening. You drug your hand through Harry’s hair.

A knock on the door caught your attention. “(Y/N)! Why would you-” You let out a small scream as the door suddenly slammed open. Mal and Evie let out their own screams and turned bright red. Evie covered her eyes.

You felt your cheeks burning as your grip on Harry’s hair tightened, his face still between your legs. No one moved. “Get out!” You screamed at your sister and friend who immediately shut the door, leaving you two alone again.

You shoved Harry away and sat back up, pulling him back in to your chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face in your chest, laughing slightly.

“Why on Earth didn't you think of locking on the door?” You asked, already dreading the upcoming conversation with your sister. “My main concern is you.” Harry murmured, looking up at you. It reminded you of begging puppy.

You smiled at him and hugged him tighter, already feeling better about the whole situation. You knew as long as Harry was by your side, there was nothing Auradon could throw at you to slow you down.

Taglist

#disney descendants #descendants #descendants imagine #descendants harry #harry hook #harry hook imagine #harry hook x reader

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lakinda5654 · 5 years

Text

~~~~A Girl and A God~~~~ Chapter 22- Floating

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A Girl and A God is a RATED M Loki Fanfic with an original character, Alexa, who is taken in by Tony Stark after the revelation of abilities of her own. There’s sex, romance, heartbreak, action, fluff, angst, all that good stuff. Full description in blog, and a jump-to-chapter list if you just want the smut or the cuteness bits. Enjoy <3

Chapter Summary: Alexa tries to recover from an awkward situation, she explains recent human history to Loki, and takes him somewhere special...

Contains: awkwardness, cuteness, fluff, like a tidbit of politics but nothing crazy

Word Count: 1,517

~Previous Chapter~~Next Chapter~

~~Beginning of Story~~

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Fuck. She just had to hope that whoever lived here wasn’t home, because if they were they couldn’t have missed the loud bang of her ass hitting their floor. As she struggled a bit to sit up, she heard it.

“Alexa?”

A very confused voice rang out. “Are you alright? How’d you…get in here…?”

She turned her head to see Steve Rogers, shirtless, in boxers.

Why him? Why of all the possibilities was it his room? He was literally one of the 2 avengers she had never, not even once, spoken to. He was looking confused as hell, and very weirded out, but trying to hide it.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I fell through the…” she paused, realizing that she would need to give more explanation. “I have a new power phase and I can go through things, and I lost control and fell through the floor.”

“Oh.” He paused, clearly uncomfortable as he wrapped himself in a robe that was thankfully on a hook within his reach. “are you okay?” He asked tentatively, walking closer to her.

“Yeah, I’m…” She began to try to get up and winced at the pain in her bruised back. She felt strong arms lifting her to her feet. “Thanks. I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure? You can rest for a bit if you need to…”

Alexa sighed. “Yeah… I’m ok. I can just go back up now that I’m in… control of myself.” She mumbled, extremely embarrassed.

“Alright.” He said, he gave a short awkward smile, seeming like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Okay. I’m sorry… again”

“No worries”

“Okay… well, bye” Alexa gave a little wave.

To leave, she sort of looked up and jumped upward as you would at the bottom of a swimming pool to come back up for air, and faded through the ceiling into her own room, landing her feet gently on the floor. She didn’t see Steve’s face, but she didn’t want to. She’d already been awkward as hell and didn’t want to deal with the situation any more than she physically had to.

She sat down on the couch and held her head in her hands, scolding herself for being so careless and stupid.

The shower was still running, and she decided to turn on the TV to forget the incredible amount of embarrassment flooding her brain.

Once Loki was out of the shower and back in his dramatic suit again, he came and sat down on the couch next to her.

He seemed to sense something was off. “Are you alright darling?”

“Yeah I’m ok, I just…slipped and hurt my back.”

“Let me see,” Loki said, immediately becoming protective.

She leaned forward and allowed him to look.

“You're bruising,” he said and lowered her shirt back into its position. “How did you do it?”

Alexa didn’t want to tell him what had just happened. It was so completely and utterly embarrassing, not to mention how she got herself in that position in the first place.

“I just slipped. I’m ok, really” she smiled at him. He seemed doubtful, but he smiled and coaxed her head to lay down on his shoulder.

As they lied there and watched tv, she realized just how close it was to the full moon. She had been avoiding the thought all week, but now it was only a couple days away. She didn’t want to deal with it. What if she destroyed the tower? She never knew she was capable to of that much destruction until it happened in Oregon. She had been heavily pushed, but still...

At one point, the show they were watching made a reference to World War Two.

“What did they mean just there? What was he talking about?” Loki asked.

“Oh, he was talking about World War Two and the Holocaust.” She explained.

“The what?”

Alexa looked at him and paused the show. “You don’t know about the Holocaust?”

Loki shook his head.

“Do you know anything about human history?”

“I know pieces, but mostly from far longer ago than you all began to record history.”

“Oh…” she thought for a moment. “Do you want to learn? It kind of explains a lot about why things are the way they are today.”

Loki smiled. “Sure, do tell of how the mortals got to their oh so glorious position today” his words dripped with sarcasm.

“Well first off, almost no one thinks where we are at is glorious. There are immense problems and they feel unsolvable because they require money to solve, and rich people don’t like sharing.”

Loki listened, interested. She explained women’s rights, and how they still radiated into today.

“So women are left to become poor after they bear a child because they are not paid? And they are not paid the same in the first place…” Loki seemed utterly confused. “Why? Why don’t they just fix it? Use laws or rules?”

“Well,” Alexa replied, “They do, but lots of people don’t follow them. Punishments aren’t severe enough or enforced.”

“Then make the punishment treason. Cut off someone’s head, banish them. That will give a message.” He said matter-of-factly.

Alexa laughed. “I don’t think you could vote a punishment like that into place.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “What other lovely accomplishments have humans obtained in recent years?”

She explained human trafficking and rape, and the lack of punishments for those as well. This made Loki purely angry. “If anyone were to do that to you they’d lose their limbs before making it home.” He said through gritted teeth. “How can they let those things happen? In Asgard that doesn’t happen… there are women who do it but they’re paid and they can leave when they choose. If a man were to do it by force he’d be executed I imagine, but it’s never been a problem from what I remember.”

“Well lucky for Asgardian women then. I suppose they aren’t seen as weak?”

“Of course not. Our strongest warriors were the Valkyrie.”

Alexa smiled. She wanted to go to Asgard more and more. She imagined raising a daughter there…

Loki then interrupted her thoughts and asked again about the Holocaust. So, she explained the history of racism, extreme poverty, slavery, and their presence today. After hearing the horror of the Holocaust, Loki seemed done hearing of human history. “It’s awful, how have you all survived this long? And why are you so hateful of others of your own kind?”

Alexa sighed. “I wish everyone thought like you Loki. The world would be a lot better.” She said, smiling and touching his cheek. They were quiet for a moment, and the mood was heavy. Alexa broke the silence. “You want to see something cool?”

Loki looked at her and nodded expectantly.

She took his hand, stood up, and slipped out the door of their room. “What are you doing are you mad?”

Loki pulled his hand from hers and stayed in the room.

“It’s late, no one is up, trust me. We’re going somewhere special.”

Loki looked at her doubtfully.

“Trust me Loki.” She held out her hand.

After a moment, Loki took it.

They exited the elevator on the helicopter pad. The wind was mild that night, and it was beautiful. Loki walked to the edge of the tower with her, looking over the city. Alexa was glowing brightly in the summer night moonlight. “I want to show you my new power.”

Loki smiled. “Well then show me you must, Petal.”

Alexa pushed off the ground, floating as if she were underwater. Her hair floated too, spreading out and flowing a different direction with her every move. She did a backflip in the air, giggling at Loki’s amazed expression. She was so beautiful and mystical floating around like this.

After watching her for some time, Loki reached out to grasp her hand and pull her in for a kiss, only for his hand to flow straight through her. He was taken aback and tried again. Alexa giggled once more. He stepped towards her and tried to grab her, failing again. “Well do you want to make out with me on this rooftop or not?” Loki said with a laugh, raising his eyebrows at her.

She smiled and moved towards him, this time making herself tangible. Still floating in the night air, she held his face and kissed him. Loki just stood, taking her in, every magical movement she made had him falling deeper in love with her. Taking her by surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and brought her down to lay on the floor with him. He held her close and listened to her beautiful laugh, and became mesmerized by her glowing arms. “I am so in love with you Petal...” he said quietly.

She smiled. “And I’m so in love with you…” I need a nickname for him. I mean for christ’s sake he already has like 3 for me...

“my trickster.”

He chuckled a bit, and they fell into another kiss, as they listened to the sounds of the city below.

#loki #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #marvel #mervel fanfic

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tomionekinkmeme · 5 years

Text

Samhain 2k18 - Little Birdie - Minor Drug Use, Stalking

Summary: What started off as a simple admiring from a far crush became much more as time passed.

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The clock struck noon, making Tom put down the small hourglass and walk over to the wide window in the front of the store. He grabbed the glass cleaner and rag, spraying at chest height to keep working, to keep his boss from saying anything.

There she was.

The courtyard was one of the smaller ones of the University. He only had a couple of minutes to watch, to drink in her outfit for the day, her hairdo that she chose to present herself with. Today, she wore jeans and a simple coloured blouse, topped with a messy bun that she made work. It was a casual route which meant she didn’t have to present anything in class today.

She walked with such confidence, the looks coming her way didn’t even phase her. Boys were looking her up and down, admiring the curves the tight clothing accentuated. The girls whispering in each other’s ears no doubt shredding everything about her, as girls usually do.

Tom stopped the cleaning and stepped out from behind the lettering of Borgin & Burkes, following her every step until she was out of sight. It always was a sad moment, she didn’t realise how much she affected his mood. He looked down to his watch, at the same time every school day. It took her ten minutes to get across the courtyard and then an hour and a half later, she’d back out, heading to the other building for her last class.

He put the cleaning items down and took in a deep breath. Tom always felt overwhelmed whenever she walked by, the lust growing into anxiety at the result of just watching her. His nerves wouldn’t allow his usual confident self to approach the girl.

“Tom!”

His attention snapped to the old man behind the register giving him a nasty glare. Tom walked over and asked him what he wanted.

“I ain’t paying you to bird watch, get your arse back to work.” The old man snapped, Tom’s jaw tightened with anger. If it weren’t for the need of the job, his hand clenched in a tight fist at his side would have met this old man’s jaw years ago. Instead, Tom released the tension in his jaw and smiled.

“Yes, sir.”

The old man rolled his eyes at the obvious sarcasm, and Tom turned to continue dusting the antiques displayed everywhere. It was a love-hate relationship between the two.

Tom had an hour and ten minutes to make some progress so he could go back to the window and watch his favourite little birdie walk across the courtyard for the last time that day.

It became an obsession. Tom spotted her two months ago and was captured by the confident demeanour that was radiating off of her. Nothing seemed to bring her down, and he wanted it.

The lust combined with his competitive nature made him want her. But for what? He wasn’t sure yet. Was it to destroy her or was it merely to fuck her and make him scream his name over and over till it pleased him?

He was at the top of the world in his school days, and once his pathetic father disowned him, he plummeted to the bottom. The girl’s confidence was a replica of his own when he could act in such a manner. But now, he could only watch it, watch her as she commanded the courtyard with a simple walk.

Tom continued his duties, dusting off the old antiques, repeatedly checking his watch so he wouldn’t miss the mark. Her schedule was easy to follow should one only pay attention.

—

The next morning, Tom unlocked the door to the shop and hurried in to type in the code. It beeped back at him that it was cleared, and Tom sipped the coffee from the school’s shop. It was an hour before his boss would show up and half an hour before his free birdie would walk to her first lecture.

Tom went to the back door to check for packages and was pleased to see only one. It meant less time shelving items and more times reading for his online class. How pathetic to be next to a prestigious university and having to resort to a lower ranked school. His father denied him the same education he was receiving when his mother was still alive.

He settled on the stool behind the register and opened the book, flipping to the chapter due for the week.

The alarm startled him, and he jumped up, worried he might miss her.

A couple of minutes later, she started from the left side of the courtyard, walking with a red-headed girl, one he didn’t know. It was odd, but he supposed his little birdie could have friends. How else does one survive without them? He never bothered to have such close people, rendering friendships to be a form of weakness.

If he took Red for a spin and held her captive for a couple of weeks, how would it affect his bird? Would she panic, cry, or spend time searching for her friend? It was an enticing thought to have, putting his bird in a hard situation. Tom liked the idea of fear in her eyes, that plump, soft pink bottom lip quivering from the cry ready to escape her pretty throat. It made his cock twitch thinking of her begging him to let her friend go.

They both became out of sight, and he calmed himself, turning back to study. He would indulge his thoughts later when he was showering and able to fantasise freely of his pretty little bird in pain.

The shop owner called and said he was out for the day which gave Tom the day to read and do his duties at his pace. There were only three customers. He didn’t mind.

He flipped the page in his textbook when the bell rang above the door, causing him to look up and was surprised to see the red-headed girl and an identical taller, male version of her.

“What exactly are you getting her?” She spoke, Tom didn’t like her voice. He imagined it differently in his mind, imagined her screams and begs in a different tone.

“Can we get some help here?”

The male redhead interrupted Tom’s thoughts, and he held back an eye roll, getting up from the stool. He walked over to them and placed a smile on his lips.

“You’re handsome.” The girl complimented and the boy scoffed.

“Can you keep it in your pants for one minute? I thought you were with Harry?”

Tom had the opportunity to study them as they bickered. Both were sporting letterman jackets, and it made Tom automatically judge them. Anyone playing sports at university was an idiot. They didn’t have the brains and needed to perform for their higher education. It was one thing Tom never thought highly of.

“How can I help you?” Tom interrupted their argument, and the girl turned to him, smiling too wide for his liking. The least she could do was be subtle.

“He needs to buy a present for his girlfriend. I’m here because he’s my ride home.”

Tom raised an eyebrow at the pair. She was so forward, and he finally understood they were siblings. It was apparent now that he thought of it.

“What exactly are you seeking?”

“Anything with the word vintage gets her excited. What would you suggest?”

The derogatory way he spoke of his girlfriend was pathetic, and Tom felt sorry for the bloody girl. But then again he didn’t care. He led them to a part of the shop that had jewellery boxes and several other things people tend to keep on a vanity.

He left the two to look and walked back to the register to read while he could. Twenty minutes later, a jewellery box was placed on his book, Tom looking up to see the red-headed girl smiling.

“We’re ready to check out.” She leaned on the counter, her long red hair framing her face and the low cut shirt displaying a right amount of cleavage. Tom’s eyebrows furrowed, and he stood up straight, grabbing the box to scan the tag. He told her brother the price and waited for him to pull out his wallet.

“What’s your name? I see no nametags are required here.” She stated. Tom wanted to tell her to mind her own damn business but licked his lips before smiling at her.

“Tom.”

Ginny’s nose scrunched a little, clearly in distaste to what he said. “It’s so generic, I was hoping for something more exotic. Something that would fit your handsome face.”

Tom’s nostrils flared as he was swiping the card. He looked at the name and read Ronald Weasley. The name sounded familiar.

“I’m Ginny Weasley.” She stuck her hand out, and Tom shook it while she squeezed playfully.

“Where is Weasley from?” Tom was having a hard time placing it.

“Our father is dean of the school.” She boasted, and Tom snorted. Ginny frowned.

Ah, yes. The Weasley clan. He now realised he was staring at the two youngest. His boss was ranting about how some people praised the family too much, and they were probably all a bunch of fakes. Tom didn’t know them well enough. Their reputation was too perfect and pure, which is perhaps why this girl was overly confident.

“Of course.” Tom smiled, handing them their bag and receipt. They left, and Tom went back to studying.

A month later and Tom’s fantasies were starting to intensify. He watched his bird every day, the thoughts ranged from her being bent over and him pounding into her, her moans getting louder with each thrust to her life ending from his doing. He started taking pictures when he could.

He didn’t know what he wanted with her. It was becoming too close together, and he needed to talk to her to find out. He was off the next day and decided to sit on the bench that was on the path she took.

It was time to find out exactly what he wanted.

The next morning, Tom dressed casually, noticing that his bird was casually dressing as well the closer to fall they got. He pulled on some jeans, his favourite sneakers, a dull green T-shirt and a jacket to fight off the slightly chilly weather.

He arrived at the bench with his usual cup of coffee. It felt a bit awkward, being on this side of the window. The shop was still closed as his boss refused to get up any earlier.

Hours went by and not one sighting from his bird. Tom felt irritated, and his stomach growled as he continued to fight the urge to leave. He was in the right spot, knowing it was where she walked every day. Not even the redhead walked by, and once it hit three, Tom accepted defeat angrily and left.

He went to his flat, the anger brewing hotter as he continued to think about how his bird stood him up. How dare she not go to school the day he wanted to speak to her? She was very inconsiderate to him, not realising that she was pissing him off.

It then dawned on him. What if something happened to her? What if.. she was gone?

Tom felt dread and worry consumed him. There’s no way something happened to her, it’s not possible. His mind knew better than to believe that simple lie. Anything can happen to anyone, even himself.

He laid down on the bed and decided to go to sleep. He needed it to be tomorrow, now.

Tomorrow will let him know if she is indeed gone.

It was a restless night, and Tom was turning in his light slumber. His mind wasn’t letting him sleep, the endless scenarios running like a slideshow. All the bad things happening to her and he wasn’t the cause of her pain. She was gone without his consent, and he was unable to capture the pretty bird.

Tomorrow will tell. Tomorrow he will know.

He hurriedly got into his car at five a.m., the most acceptable time to get to the shop. His boss can deal with his early punch in. Tom felt the loss of sleep, his mind was preoccupied with her face and worry that she was hurt.

The car seemed to be going slow even though Tom was trying his hardest to drive faster. What good would it be if he got there hours before she would? Tom continued weaving through the traffic. He parked in the back and entered the shop, punching in the security code.

His stomach growled as he hadn’t eaten for now over twenty-four hours. It didn’t matter. In three hours, he would get his answer.

His eyes were starting to burn from the terrible attempt of sleep. His stomach was done making noises, turning into an uncomfortable feeling begging to be fed. Tom stayed put by the window, ignoring his boss’ comments to continue working. They had no reason to dust every day.

When it passed three in the afternoon again, and there was no sighting of her, he stormed to the basement to do what was asked of him.

Tom took the steps quickly down, ignoring the comments behind. The old man could deal with whatever customers walked in. He needed to think, scream, sleep, eat, anything to get this ugly feeling to go away.

He looked over to the tall and big glass book preserver. It was still probably the most ridiculous thing he had ever known to exist. It was like it sounds, a big 15 by 15 glass box, tall from ceiling to floor.

When it first arrived to be installed Tom had no idea what it was for. But his boss explained that it’s the same kind of concept like a museum preservation box. It made no sense to Tom to have one in an antique shop basement.

It looked inviting to enter. The room was cold and soundproof, Tom sometimes went in there to read till he couldn’t anymore. He scanned all the books and some antiques that were not for sale. He entered the glass box and instantly felt his anger melt from the fresh air. Tom took in a deep breath, closed his eyes and stood in the cold case till he almost forgot his pretty little bird.

To Tom’s dislike, nine weeks without sight of his bird. It was agonising and he way past irritated. Where could she possibly be?

His boss gave him the task of cleaning out the basement, they got a shipment of old things his boss needed to fix and refurbish to sell. It would only distract for now. Maybe today he shouldn’t watch the window. Any more mindless scrubbing, he was sure it would create a hole in the glass.

What felt like hours later, his boss was yelling down the stairs for him. He let the box drop out of his hands, not caring for the contents. He shed his shirt a while ago and quickly grabbed it before going up, using it to wipe off the sweat on his forehead.

“Yes?” He said annoyed but then almost fell back from seeing the person at the counter. He immediately felt self-conscious, pulling on his shirt.

Hermione blushed from the sight of the store worker’s body, intrigued by how toned it was. She chuckled as he struggled to put it on.

“This girl says you sold her this jewellery box.” The old man barked, raising an eyebrow at Tom’s confused look. He never sold his bird anything, he would have known, would have remembered.

“Uh, I don’t recall. Do you have the receipt?”

Tom walked over, and Hermione went digging in the gift bag for the paper slip. Tom didn’t sell her anything, he would have remembered.

“My boyfriend— ex-boyfriend, bought it as my birthday gift.” She explained, and Tom frowned, grabbing the gift bag.

It was the pretty white jewellery box he sold to the redheads. He finally recalled. It then hit him that she was his girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. It made his stomach fill with butterflies. The old man left back to his office, leaving him to deal with the transaction.

“I remember selling this, just not to you.” Tom smiled, and Hermione smiled back at him, “Are you looking to get the money or would you like to look around?”

He was finally talking to her. This felt surreal, her eyes were fixated on his, the light freckles sprinkled on the bridge of her nose were something he never would have seen from the window, the way her eyes were a honey brown, her skin looked so smooth and inviting. She was so close, he wanted a taste. Pictures did no justice to the real thing.

“Well, I wanted to know how much it was and then find something equal in value. I was hoping it was enough for a book.”

The butterflies in his stomach created havoc, his instinct of her was right so far. She was too good for something as a jewellery box.

Hermione followed him to the back, thinking the store was a little bigger than she imagined. Her eyes trailed down, taking in his broad shoulders, toned arms and down to a very nice arse. She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Here’s our books.”

Her eyes shot back up and felt her cheeks burn from almost being caught checking out his backside. This was interesting. She swore off men for a while after her horrible blind dates, but Ginny was right, the antique shop worker was pleasing to look at.

“I’ll be back at the register, waiting for you,” Tom said smoothly, wishing she understood just how dangerous he was. There was no escaping him.

“Thank you.” Hermione turned away and started looking at the titles.

Tom leaned on his hands on the counter, trying to recollect himself. He was never this rattled, hardly anyone affected him. But having his beautiful bird disappear and then reappear right in his own shop was… unbelievable.

He needed to distract himself, quickly grabbing the textbook from under the counter. The only thing he could do is read, get his heart to stop racing and the butterflies to settle. It seemed impossible to ignore her presence. The need to look behind him was growing every minute that passed by. The time read four nineteen.

Tom flipped the page to now the fifth chapter. He looked up and realised the sun had set and it was near time to closing. He stretched, and then it dawned on him, did she leave?

He looked behind him and couldn’t see her through the shelves. Did she really leave without a sound? Tom shut his textbook, and he walked towards the back. To his surprise, Hermione was sitting on the floor of the aisle halfway through a book. She looked serene, and Tom admired her profile.

“I thought you had left,” He slowly walked over and sat down next to her, smirking in response to her shy smile.

“I forget time when reading.” Hermione marked her page and closed it.

“Which one did you decide on?”

“‘Of Mice and Men’. A classic and I forget how much I enjoy it.“

Tom was surprised she liked the story, it wasn’t one of his favourites. The ending usually turns readers off. This showed she was different. He loved different. It made everything he liked about her before just become more amplified. It was slowly growing, they want and need of her. But he needed to play it cool.

“It is a good one. Are you taking it? It’s the third edition.”

“I saw the price. I can’t afford it.” Hermione chuckled. The book ran for almost two thousand dollars. No way the jewellery box was that much.

“I have something not so expensive, not a first that’s only sixty. You can have it. Consider it my birthday gift since you didn’t like the other one.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. Honestly.”

Tom stood up and extended his hand out to her. There was only so much room in the aisle when Hermione placed her hand in his, and he helped her up, she was entirely too close to him.

She could see her own reflection in his eyes, they were so dark. It took a moment to realise that she was staring.

Tom could feel her breath on his lips. It was ridiculously delicious, the dark sexual thoughts were invading his mind. He could take her right now, against the bookcase. It would be so pleasing and easy to do.

“Riddle!”

Their trance broke, and Tom cleared his throat and turned to answer his boss’ call. Hermione sighed deeply as he walked away, fanning her face that was surely fifty shades dark red.

“Yes?”

“Quit fucking around and finish with her. I’m ready to leave.”

Hermione put back the book and walked to the register quickly, hearing the owner’s comment. She didn’t mean to keep them waiting.

“I’ll just get the money back.”

Tom felt angry that their moment was broken. It took a couple of buttons pushed to access the cash drawer. It was now or never. Tom gulped, looking at up and discovering her eyes back on him. Her cheeks were still very red. He smirked thinking the effect of one close stand still does to her. Imagine if he would have leaned in and taken her right there.

“Do you go to Oxford?” His tone was nonchalant, the laughter in his mind from his own voice laughing at the ridiculous question. As if he didn’t know, as if he hadn’t been watching her every day for months until she disappeared.

“I do. I actually used to go through the courtyard across the street. I never knew this shop existed here.” Hermione smiled, grabbing her change and dumping it in her backpack pocket.

“What are you majoring in?”

“Law. I haven’t decided what kind. One of the reasons why I’m taking a break.” she bit her lip, and it was something about her tone that made Tom frown.

“A break? From school?” Tom was surprised. It also explained her absence.

“Well, dating the Dean’s son, it makes things hard for that person.” She looked down, and Tom became furious. How could someone as arrogant as that Weasley, do that to someone as perfect as her?

It made him want to fix her problem. Within due time, he will. For now, he could focus on her.

“I didn’t think it would be that way.”

They stood awkwardly, Tom was nervous to ask. Hermione didn’t want to go home, and she knew it would be awkward asking him to hang out.

“Would you like to go grab a drink?” Tom eyed the clock behind her and noticed it was late enough for alcohol.

“How about dinner?” She asked forwardly, and Tom smirked, his stomach agreeing from the terrible schedule it was enduring the past two months.

“Works for me. Let me lock up, and I can meet you up front?”

She nodded and placed her backpack down to pull on her jacket. Tom waited till she was out of the shop to duck behind the counter and take a well-deserved breath. His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest. This felt so unreal. He hadn’t slept well in a month, maybe he was hallucinating.

Hermione stood on the sidewalk, nervously. Ginny made this person sound amazing, and now, Hermione just offered to have dinner with him. She should have opted for the drink. He could be insane, and Ginny’s instinct that he suited her was way off.

That moment though in the back of the shop by the books, she felt the need to kiss him. There was no explanation for that. The tension was thick. Hermione rolled her eyes at the silliness, she didn’t believe in those kinds of things. This wasn’t meant to be. It was supposed to be a way to get over Ron. Hermione was taking Ginny’s approach to finally getting past the last month and a half.

This was just a one-night thing.

It took several minutes in the restroom, taking in several breaths to calm down and a couple of run-throughs in his hair with his hands for Tom to lock up the shop and join Hermione in the front. He rounded from beside the shop only to find the sidewalk empty. His stomach dropped, and he finally was admitting it was all a dream.

Tom put his head in his hands, anxious that he was actually losing it. He did a quick scan of the area and then spotted her, across the street sitting on the very bench he sat on to wait for her. He looked both ways and jogged across to meet her there. His heart slowed a bit from the anxiety, the light exercise kept the beat going.

“Are you okay?” Tom asked and saw she was lost in a trance.

She looked up and shyly smiled, “I’m sorry, I was just–”; well, Hermione had no idea what to say. How can she tell this stranger that she was reminiscing the day Ron asked her out on this very bench?

“It’s alright. Was just a tad worried when I didn’t see you.” Tom smiled, but internally, he was shouting at her. Everything in him was holding back the anger he felt; how dare you disappear again! You have no consideration for me, and I have always been considerate of you. I’ve been worried, and this is how I’m repaid!

“Did you still want to grab dinner?” You better say yes. You cannot do this to me again.

Hermione smiled and stood up, “Of course. Where shall we go?”

They arrived at a hole in the wall type of restaurant Hermione had never noticed down the block. She unbuckled herself and quickly grabbed her wallet from her backpack. Tom walked around and opened her door, stepping back to let her out. He was on cloud nine, the pretty bird was actually eating dinner with him.

This could be the start of something phenomenal. They both walked into the place, and Tom asked for a booth that he usually sat at on his days off doing homework.

“Do you come here often?” Hermione shrugged out of her jacket and placed it in the booth, following him in the half-circle seat.

“I come on my breaks and sometimes after work to study.”

Hermione looked at him surprised, she didn’t even think to ask if he attended the university. She felt rude assuming he didn’t.

“What are you studying?”

Tom grabbed the menu and started to look, nervous to her learning he wasn’t at the same school because he wasn’t wealthy enough.

“I’m going for Government with a minor in Political Science.” He answered and smiled once he knew what he was going to order for them.

“Oh, politics. I didn’t realise. You don’t seem the type.”

Tom clenched his teeth, feeling the anger course through him. He felt the condescending way she was thinking. It was laced in the surprised tone.

“What type do I seem like?” Tom asked quietly, Hermione sipped the wine provided to them. He saw her gulp, and with his anger, he imagined his hands around her neck. Her fear-stricken face would be soothing.

“I would think literature. You seem to understand my need to read back at the shop.” Hermione smiled at him, and he held back the scoff. Something as low as literature that wasn’t enough. No, he wanted to be on top somehow, no matter what it took to get there. But for now, his attention was on Hermione.

“I understood you needed time to detach.” Tom drank some wine and saw her cheeks flush yet again.

“Reading does help. I needed something different than what I have at my apartment.”

“So, tell me.” Tom leaned back and placed his arm on the top of the booth seat, “how did you end up dating the Dean’s son?”

Hermione rolled her eyes, and it amused him, the simple move made him think she wasn’t as proper as he assumed from previous observation. He will have to study her more closely.

“We’ve known each other since we were eleven. There’s actually a third to us, Harry. But he is dating Ron’s sister.”

“So, you just paired off.”

The waitress came and refilled their drinks and took their orders, Tom placed several dishes, and Hermione allowed it. She was tired of controlling everything. Just for today, she was going to be like her redheaded friend. Hermione was going to let go.

They talked for another two hours, Tom was mostly listening since everything that came out of her mouth was far more interesting than his story. She would think he’s less than her for sure. Hermione finished her sixth glass of wine, her cheeks staying flushed from the amount of alcohol consumed. Tom matched her pace.

He was hoping she would invite him to kiss her, let him finally taste what seemed to be the forbidden fruit. Hermione was leaning on her hand, her elbow firmly under on the table. There was nothing else to talk about, she said everything she could.

“Where should we go from here, Mr Riddle?” Hermione slurred a bit, her eyes focusing hard on his. She could see the hunger in them, they were so dark. He leaned closer to her, his fingers grazing her knee. It sent chills throughout her body.

“You tell me, Miss Granger. I’m up for anything.” His tone changed into a low seductive tone, Hermione licked her lips in response.

“Lead the way,” Hermione replied back lower, and Tom would have missed it if he wasn’t already watching her lips.

They paid the bill, Tom grabbed her hand once her jacket was put on. Hermione was nervous but was forcing it away. Ginny had been terrible at picking people for Hermione to go out with, Tom was the last one she agreed to. Looking down to their intertwined fingers as they exited the restaurant, Ginny seemed to save the best for last.

Tom turned suddenly, and Hermione was thrown off, his hands were on her waist pushing her back against the car. He couldn’t wait any longer. He’s been wanting this for so long, any more seconds to pass will drive him insane. Just a taste, that’s all he needed for now.

He placed his hands on her face, pressing his body against hers. Tom hoped she could feel what she did to him, how hard he was just thinking about her.

They stared into each other’s eyes, Tom wanted to savour it, the look of lust and desire at that moment; her permission so clear. He wanted her to say yes. Say yes to everything.

Tom leaned in and kissed her roughly, all pent up feelings for her poured into her mouth in the form of his tongue. She met the eagerness with the same amount, her arms wrapping around his neck.

He could taste the wine and the hint of their dinner, but nonetheless, he was tasting his pretty little bird. Hermione’s hands ran through his hair, his hands went down to start picking her up when she pulled away.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, wanting nothing more than to fuck him right then and there. The light wind made her come back down to reality, pulling away and looking into his now confused look.

“Your place or mine?”

Tom smirked and went in to kiss her again, thrusting his hips into her. He enjoyed the moan that hummed into his mouth, her tongue fighting for dominance against his.

“Mine,” Tom answered her between kisses, not making any move to let her down. They continued, he kept grinding against her, enjoying every moment.

“Tom,” Hermione moaned as he kissed the base of her neck, taking her skin between his teeth. She gripped his hair and pulled his head back, wanting his mouth back on her lips.

“Let’s go.”

They paused, and Hermione stood up, getting used to her legs again. Tom led her to his car, trying to stay focused. He needed her back at the flat.

“I don’t live too far.” Tom smiled towards her, she was too flustered to answer and instead of nodding her head.

He opened the car door for her, pulling her in for a quick kiss before letting her get in. This was it, he was advancing on his plan. Who knew today would turn out so great?

Tom pulled his car into the driveway to his house. It was the one thing he was entitled to with his own name; his mother’s childhood home. At first, it wasn’t much, but Tom made it pristinely livable.

He opened the door, and Hermione shrugged out of her jacket, and he took it, putting it on the couch. Tom left to the kitchen to get them a drink.

She sat down on the couch listening to the soft sounds he was making. Hermione could make out the small pop of a wine bottle which she was thankful for. Her nerves were coming back ten fold from the time passing and her liquid courage erasing.

“Do you like white wine?”

“Yes, I do.” Hermione smiled as he walked out of the kitchen with two glasses of wine in one hand and the bottle in the other. She gulped down two big sips and smiled at him.

And then Tom talked.

She didn’t expect him to want to talk, not after what happened outside of the restaurant. He was telling her everything about him. It was interesting, but she kept wondering how he would look with no clothes on. She didn’t want to talk anymore, she needed to be fucked. The pent-up sexual frustration was getting the better of her manners.

Moments later, her eyelids drooped involuntarily, a yawn following after. She frowned as it was surprising to her that she felt completely exhausted. Tom continued talking, her responses becoming shorter and shorter. Hermione was feeling too sleepy for it only being half-past ten. She’s stayed up longer for essays than this.

“Are you okay?” Tom asked, concern forced into his tone. Hermione weakly nodded, starting to want to lay down. She slowly leaned on Tom’s shoulder and soundly fell asleep.

“Hermione?”

He waved his hand in front of her face and smirked when there was no sign of consciousness. Tom continued to drink his wine, wanting to finish it before he transferred his pretty bird to her cage.

Three days later, Ginny walked into the antique shop, looking for the handsome face from before. She walked to the register and rang the bell a couple of times.

Tom heard it and walked out of the office, surprised to see her. He smiled, and Ginny smiled back flirtingly.

“Hey, have you seen Hermione?”

Tom shook his head and frowned, “Is she okay?”

“She hasn’t been home, and I’m just worried that she ended up going back to her parents. Did she ever come here?”

“Yeah, she came and returned the box. We actually had some dinner, but haven’t heard from her since. Was assuming I wasn’t her type.” Tom chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

“Well if you’re not her type, then no one is,” Ginny waved and walked back out of the shop. Tom waited a couple of minutes before going to the basement door. He unlocked it and took the stairs down slowly. He could hear the muffled banging on the glass, her faint screams for help.

He already warned her she would only tire herself out. Hermione stopped once he came into view, her eyes were bloodshot red from the crying.

Tom stood near the glass, admiring Hermione’s fear-ridden face. She smacked the glass where his face was, yelling for more help.

“HELP!”

“No one will hear you,” Tom said, and Hermione kept screaming.

She crumbled to the ground and hugged herself, the sobs growing harder as she tried to think of anything to do to get out of there.

“Why are you doing this to me?” she mumbled and Tom squatted down to be eye level with her. She glared at him, and he smirked, the tears didn’t allow for her to be taken so seriously.

“You’re my bird, love. I needed to keep you somewhere.” He watched the tears multiply and fall harder, “Your redheaded friend was just here.”

Hermione’s eyes widened, “Don’t hurt her!”

Tom laughed at the surprising concern. She was the one trapped in a glass box, and her first instinct was to protect the other girl. How brave of his precious bird.

“I don’t want her, I wanted you. For months I watched you, everyday walking across the campus. Every day I documented your outfits, watched you go back and forth. I even once followed you to class, all of them. You are so smart and such a great student. I was even a bit jealous that you got to attend Oxford and I couldn’t. I always watched you.”

Hermione’s stomach dropped, and she felt the instant fear mixed with nausea.

“And then you disappeared for almost nine weeks. Oh yeah, I kept count.” Tom stood and slowly circled the box, Hermione’s face staring down as she listened.

“I was so angry with you and worried that something happened. And then to my surprise, you walk right into my shop, so willingly.”

“I didn’t walk in asking to be kidnapped!” Hermione snapped and stood up angrily.

“No, of course not. But you looked so fragile and tired like you hadn’t taken care of yourself in a while.”

Hermione continued to glare at him as he paused right in front of her, the only thing separating them was the tempered glass.

“I wanted to make sure you didn’t disappear on me again.

I can take care of you and I will. You can stay with me always, my pretty little bird.”

#tomione #m #samhain2k18 #submission #darklordherself

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pinknerdpanda · 6 years

Text

I Shall Be Released (3)

Characters: Sam x Reader, Anna, Dean, Castiel

Word Count: 2984

Warnings: Angst, violence, language

Read Part 1 by @atc74 HERE

Read Part 2 by @crispychrissy HERE

A/N: This is part 3 of a progressive challenge written with @atc74 and @crispychrissy for Break The Zone. We were given a dialogue prompt, a gif and a song. My chapter is loosely based off of the song “I Shall Be Released” (Listen to the Jason Manns and Rob Benedict version HERE) Enjoy! :)

Beta’d by @atc74 and @hannahindie - Thank you both for keeping me going!

I Shall Be Released Part 3

A bright light cut across the horizon, illuminating everything it touched with a soft glow and making the entire landscape before you sparkle. You took a deep breath, allowing the warm, citrus scented air to fill your lungs before expelling it back to the earth. In the distance a bird chirped, happily, the sound drifting across the breeze and only marginally louder than the sound of the nearby creek. It was as perfect of as scene as you could have ever imagined; the only thing that could improve upon it notably missing. Sam.

-----

“You’re insane.”

Y/n’s lips curled in a maniacal yet satisfied smile that Sam wouldn’t have guessed possible; the girl he loved couldn’t possibly be capable of a look so full of malice and wrath.

“Takes one to know one, Sammy,” she quirked an eyebrow, tracing a finger down the slope of his shoulder as she continued circling him. “And what if I am? Insane I mean. Who could blame me.”

Sam’s face twisted in confusion, his immobility seeming to not affect his expressions. “What the hell is that supposed to mean, anyway?”

“How do you think you would feel, Sam,” she spat his name like a curse and Sam flinched, “If you woke up one day to find your own eyes staring back at you. Except they’re older and full of horrors your tiny nine year old couldn’t fathom? Hm?”

Sam met her gaze, forcing himself not to look away.

“Don’t you think that would drive a person to madness? No? That’s not enough?” She tapped a finger against the side of her cheek in mock consideration. “Alright, well then how about having that older, broken version of yourself tell you that, not only is she an actual angel from the future, but that, if you don’t see her again before your next birthday, she’s - you’ve - been murdered. Murdered, Sam!”

“You’re right, talking to yourself does sound a bit on the loony tunes side,” Sam crooned, allowing his lips to form a cruel, condescending pity smile. “Did you also tell yourself that you were actually on a mission to murder an innocent woman?”

Anna scoffed and hopped onto the plywood table, ignoring the smattering of manilla folders and old, crumpled fast food wrappers.

“Oh she told me everything. You, Lucifer...the demon blood,” she drew the last word out, tauntingly. “She also told me where to find my grace and told me that if it was true - if she...I...really was murdered, then it’s up to me to stop you, Winchester.”

------

Your lazy, content smile faltered as you sat up, the beautifully embroidered picnic blanket tangling gently around your legs. Smoothing it back out, you rose, narrowly avoiding tripping over the wicker picnic basket resting at the blanket’s edge. It was like a sudden awareness struck you and it was unsettling. Where was Sam? He was here wasn’t he? You struggled to remember the events leading up to this moment, but fall short, frustration creasing your brow. Your wandering has turned into frantic searching, as you call his name, combing the forest lining the small clearing.

“Y/n!”

The sound of Sam’s voice was faint, almost tinny and you whirled desperate to find it’s source. To you left stood a large, dark grove of trees that you were sure hadn’t been there seconds ago. Your name floated on the breeze and you were sure it was coming from the mysterious trees. Steeling your courage, you began to pick your way toward the sound of Sam’s voice. The once clear patch of green grass you’d found yourself enjoying moments ago was now dry and brittle, the roots of the trees zigzagged the surface at varied intervals.

Your foot caught a large, gnarly twist of brown bark peeking up from the surface of scorched earth and you lurched forward, your ankle twisting painfully as you fell to the ground.

“Y/n?!” Sam’s voice held a twinge of panic that made your stomach twist in knots. Where was he? What was happening? Your ankle now unable to hold your weight without screeching in pain, you began crawling toward Sam’s voice. Sharp thorny barbs dug into the palms of your skin and ripped at the knees of your jeans.

-----

“She can’t hear you, Sam. You can cry her name all you want, but she’s too far gone.”

Sam swallowed, unsure what to believe, but desperate to stall for as long as he could. “Alright, so you said you need me, but now you’re saying you’re here to stop me. Which is it?”

Anna clucked her tongue, cheekily. “Secrets, secrets, Sam. I know you’re stalling, but I’ll give you a hint,” she lowered her voice, conspiratorially, “so am I.”

As if on cue, the roar of the Impala’s engine echoed dully through the thin hotel walls seconds before a flash of headlights illuminated the room. The sound and the light died immediately as Dean cut the engine.

Sam struggled against his invisible restraints as Dean’s bootfalls drew closer and closer. Anna turned a wicked grin toward Sam before placing a single finger against her lips. Dean’s keys jingled lightly and Anna’s face fell back into a perfect replica of y/n a second before the door swung wide.

“Dean! Thank god you’re here!” Anna cried out, practically throwing herself against Dean.

“What the hell?” Dean bellowed, his face twisted in bewilderment, his eyes wide.

“I...I...I don’t know what got into him!” Anna stammered in such a good imitation of Y/n that if it weren’t for the faint, crazed glint in her eye, Sam might have begun to question reality.

“Who? Sam?” Dean’s head swivelled back and forth between Sam and Anna, puzzled.

“Don’t listen to her, Dean.” Sam growled. “It’s not y/n.”

“He keeps saying that, and trying to hurt me, like I’m some sort of monster or something,” Anna sobbed, clutching tightly to Dean. “But you saw for yourself, Dean. You checked me with your own eyes! He’s lost it!”

Dean’s eyes flicked to Sam’s and he took in Sam’s rigid posture. Without making a sound, Sam mouthed a single word to his brother.

“Anna.”

------

Just as you reached the base of the nearest tree, a flash of red caught your attention. The sound of a woman’s laughter - cruel and punishing - echoed through the trees. Distantly, you registered the sound as that of your own laughter, but stopped short when you heard Sam’s pain-filled cry.

Something in your head clicked. Whether it was the sound of Sam’s anguish or just sheer determination, you weren’t sure. But there was one thing you were sure of: this place, wherever it was, was bad news, and come hell or high water, you were going to find Sam and get the hell outta Dodge.

Gritting your teeth, you pressed your bruised and bloodied palms against the ground as you rose to your feet. You sucked in a deep breath and shifted, allowing your twisted ankle to take a small amount of your weight and expecting the worst. To your amazement, the pain didn’t come. Deciding to risk it, you took a step forward and then another. You reached one hand out into the growing darkness, trying to feel your way through the maze of tangled vines and menacing tree branches.

Ahead, a small sliver of light cut through the dense foliage and you wove your way toward it, not sure why. Just as you drew closer to its source, a dark, black figure stepped into the pool of light, it’s glistening rays bathing the figure in shadow. Your steps slowed, fear gripping your stomach, and, as the figure shifted ever so slightly, the shadow shifted with it, revealing a halo of fiery red hair

“Hello, y/n,” the figure’s voice was feminine and soft and you struggled to place it.

You took another step forward, an unexpected surge of anger emboldening you. “Who are you? What is this place?”

“You don’t recognize it?” There was the smallest hint of sarcasm in her tone.

“Well, if I did, do you really think I would be asking?”

Sam’s voice, louder now rang out through the canopy of trees overhead. And though the words were unintelligible, you’re sure it was full of panic.

A second later, a stab of pain seized your body and your knees buckle under its severity. It’s like a dagger of electricity pierced your neck and waves of vibrating painful energy radiated outward, making your extremities tingle.

The figure tsk’d, staring curiously, but made no move to help you as you sputtered and writhed on the ground.

-----

“I said don’t move!” Dean shouted, aiming his gun at Anna. His resolve nearly faltered as her eyes brimmed with tears. “Sammy, tell me what the hell is going on here.”

“Dean, I told you already…” Anna pleaded, her hands held out palms up.

“And I said to stop talking,” Dean roared, frustration seeping into his tone.

“I don’t know. She said Y/n is…” Sam choked out, “too far gone.”

“But I thought Michael smoked Anna back in the 70’s when she was trying to kill Mom and Dad?”

Anna’s simpering was cut short as she laughed, cruelly. Dean spun to face her, confused.

“Always two steps behind, Winchesters.”

Anna flicked her wrist and sent Sam and Dean flying across the room. Sam landed with a sickening crack and he cried out in pain clutching his left arm. Anna laughed again, delight flooding her features.

“What do you want? And where’s Y/n?” Dean spat, his teeth gritted as he fought against his own invisible bonds.

“She’s a fighter, I’ll give her that,” Anna chuckled, pacing back and forth. “But trust me, she’s as good as dead. As far as what I want? I want that traitor Castiel’s head on a stick and you two boy scouts are gonna help me.”

“What then?” Sam groaned.

“And then, I’m going to kill you, nice and slow.” Anna smirked.

“Y/n!” Sam screamed. “Baby, I know you’re in there!”

“Oh save it!” Anna rolled her eyes. “Just for that, she’s gonna have to suffer a little. So much for blissful ignorance. She was getting a little too bold anyway.” Anna ran her finger tips over where y/n’s neck wound had been, the flesh once again bloodied and ravaged.

Anna turned back to Dean. “So, what did ol’ Castiel say when you called him?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Dean purred smugly. Anna slapped him hard across the face and grabbed his hair, yanking his head back roughly.

“Wanna try that again, smart ass?”

Dean glared at her defiantly. “Eat me.”

Anna released her grip and narrowed her eyes at him once again. She pursed her lips and stood, sauntering over to Sam. Flicking her gaze over her shoulder to Dean once more, she grabbed at Sam’s left arm and twisting.

“Y/n!” Sam’s scream echoed off the thin hotel walls. “It’s an angel. You have to eject her!”

-----

Gasping for air, you silently pled with the red haired woman for help. A flash memory rippled through you. Sam...the vamp...the cold that you felt before the nothingness took over. You were dead. Except...you weren’t. Though, as much pain as you felt, you almost wished you were.

“Y/n!” Sam’s voice was louder now, more frantic. “It’s an angel. You have to eject her!”

You spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground, and braced your shaking hands once more against the ground, willing yourself up, but unable to make it.

“You stupid, pitiful girl,” the woman sneered. “The only reason you’re still around to hear your beloved’s voice cry out for help is because of me. I am the glue keeping you alive, and frankly, I don’t exactly need you for much longer.”

“How did you even get in here anyway?” you wheezed between ragged, gurgling breaths. “I thought you winged assholes had to have permission to take possession of a vessel?”

“It’s all about the loopholes, baby,” the woman cooed, her hands on her knees like she was speaking to a child. “We don’t need permission if we catch the vessel at just the right time. You know, that brief little moment between life and death, as the light is fading from your eyes, but just before the last breath? That’s the sweet spot. And I’ve been waiting so patiently for my time to shine. I knew it was inevitable; I’ve been keeping tabs on these boys for a long time. One thing I’ve learned, no one loves Sam Winchester and lives to tell about it. Well, not for long anyway.”

A deep raspy rumble from somewhere high in the trees rattled the branches, scattering a flock of birds in all directions. The sound was like a gust of wind - cold and ominous as if signalling an oncoming storm.

The angel’s head whipped up, her face wearing conflicting masks of rage and delight. “He’s here; I knew that traitor couldn’t stay away.” Straightening, she clapped her hands excitedly. “Well, sweetie, I’d say it’s been fun...but...well...it really hasn’t.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you mused, drawing a curious look from the woman. You rolled over on your side, revealing a crudely drawn sigil that Sam had taught you to banish angels. “Things are just about to get exciting.”

The angel creased her brow, a pitying expression tugging at her features. “Aw, that’s so cute. But like I said, you’re only here because of me. This isn’t real!” She gestured to the grove of trees before snapping her fingers and suddenly the scenery changed to a warm, sunny beach with white sand and turquoise waves lapping gently along the shore line. She snapped again, and Sam appeared, happy and tan, his long legs stretched out on the sand and the sun glistening off of his bare chest. “This is whatever I want it to be. What do you think that little doodle is going to do to me? ”

“Well, best case scenario, you get ejected. Worst case scenario, you stick around and I die with that view” you gestured at the mirage of Sam, “as my final memory. Either way, I die knowing I did everything in my power to kick your ass.” You spat blood onto your hand. “It’s win/win.”

Without hesitation, you slammed your palm against the sigil. A light shot across the sky from the west to the east and the last sound you heard was the angel screaming before your vision went black.

-----

A murmur of voices filled your ears, but it was the throbbing pain in your neck that had woken you. Your eyelids felt like they’d been sewn shut and your mouth was so dry, you were afraid to open it.

“What do you mean you don’t know, Cas?” Dean’s voice buzzed with anxious energy.

“I mean, I don’t know,” Castiel sighed. “Time travelling angels with a vendetta aren’t exactly my area of expertise. It appears that she’s been sent back to heaven, and I will be sure to inform them of her heinous crimes. However, coming from someone they view as a ‘heinous criminal’ such as myself, the recommendation may fall upon deaf ears.”

Your hand’s engulfed by a large, warm palm. Fingers wrapped tightly around yours and you felt the beat of the heart as it pumped the blood through the veins of the hand.

“Thanks for trying, buddy. I appreciate you coming here so fast and healing her.”

“Of course, Dean. I will keep you abreast of the situation in heaven,” Cas’ voice is obscured by a rustle of wings.

“Abreast,” Dean muttered and you can tell he’s snickering to himself without even opening your eyes.

“Real mature, Dean.” Your voice was more rasp than sound, and for a second you weren’t completely sure you’d actually said anything.

“Y/n?!” Sam’s hand squeezed yours so tight, it felt like it might have fallen off. “You’re ok?”

One of your eyes crept open slowly and painfully, and there sat Sam, his large body so close to yours and seeming so small. You forced a half smile. “Well, part of me is. If you’re not careful though, you may need to get Cas back here to regrow my hand.”

Sam’s grip loosened as tears streamed down his face. His whole body shook with emotion and you could tell he wanted to wrap you in his arms and never let go, but he resisted and instead placed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“I thought I’d lost you, baby.”

You smirked, “Like you could be so lucky.”

Dean’s face came into view and you didn’t miss the tracks running down his cheeks as he beamed down at you. “You really scared us, kid. But you did good.”

You raised your free hand to your neck and lightly grazed the spot where you’d been bitten. While tender and puckered, the skin had been knit back together carefully as if by magic.

“Cas had enough juice to fix me up, huh?” you croaked.

“Well, he had enough to keep you breathing, anyway. You’ve still got a little ways to go.” Sam smiled and raised your knuckles to his lips. “How’d you do it, anyway? How’d you get rid of Anna?”

“I baked her a loaf of banana bread and asked politely,” you snarked, grinning at them. “I was trying to find you, Sam. I could hear your voice, but I couldn’t see you and I knew I had to get back to you, somehow.”

Unable to restrain himself any longer, Sam cradled you carefully in his arms, pressing kisses to your hair. “I’m so glad you came back to me, y/n. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my girl.”

“Your girl, huh?”

Sam kissed you gently, pulling back. “Always.”

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@wheresthekillswitch @pretty-fortune @arryn-nyxx @emilywritesaboutdean @fandommaniacx @cookie-dough-lova @impandagrl @maddieburcham1 @trexrambling @beachballsizeladyballs @hannahindie @rosie-winchester @winchesterprincessbride @that-writer-one @deansdirtyduchess @fandomismyspiritanimal @angelsandwinchesters @cfordwrites @zenia3 @charliebradbury1104 @9769997118 @mogaruke @luulaachops @supernaturaldean67 @barbedwireandbubblegum @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @muliermalefici @galaxy-jellyfish-queen @canadianjelly @kathaswings @almusanzug @feelmyroarrrr @captainradicalpassion @bethbabybaby @thinkwritexpress-official @akshi8278 @hexparker @emoryhemsworth @boxywrites @atc74 @anticipate1003 @super100012 @lovesj2m @easelweasel @masksandtruths @ellen-reincarnated1967 @growningupgeek @there-must-be-a-lock @sylverminx @mrswhozeewhatsis @amanda-teaches @cassieraider @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @its-my-perky-nipples @squirrel-moose-winchester @carryonmyswansong @sandlee44 @paintrider13-blog @arses21434 @petra-arkanian-1497

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@iwantthedean @chelsea072498 @paintrider13-blog @d-s-winchester @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @just-another-busy-fangirl @winchesterprincessbride @waywardjoy @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @mamaredd123 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @sis-tafics @katymacsupernatural @tankcupcakes @wonderange @hannahindie @jayankles @crispychrissy @death2thevirgin @atc74

#break the zone #btz #btz challenge #Sam Winchester #Sam x Reader #Sam Winchester x Reader #sam angst #supernatural fanfiction #i lost my queue

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