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euaxel · 3 years

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heyyy, eonia. i’m reid, i’m twenty-three, still can’t read, and all i know about pjo is that it fucking rocks and the protag has the same learning disabilities that i do! also, i picked hypnos for this punk mainly to be mean to him and because in the hades game hypnos bullies me every time i die and i’m kiiiinda into it. hmu on discord one on one for the best plotting experience, but i’ll be around plenty to bug y’all in the gc too. you can read about bastard boy number one right here and under the cut we’ll get down to business.

⟨ ELLIOT FLETCHER. TRANS MALE. HE/HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, AXEL EVERETT is actually a descendent of H Y P N O S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-TWO year old VIDEO GAME DEVELOPMENT & COMBAT TACTICS MAJOR from BROOKLYN, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite WITTY & SELF-DEPRICATING.

be advised, axel’s a pretty heavy character. i’m gonna keep it brief for the bio & need-to-knows, tag around the parts with bold applicable triggers so you can skip around as needed, and tag this post accordingly, but just let me know if i miss anything and i’ll fix it & be safe reading. godspeed and i apologize in advance for bringing you all my personal punching bag as my first muse.

the main triggers that are gonna come up are: parental abuse, alcoholism * major, mentions of bullying, drowning * major, religious trauma, and drug abuse with some harder drugs ( particularly, weed, pills and cocaine / nothing with needles. )

general stats.

— full name , axel harley everett. — nicknames/alias , axe, ax, wolverine jr, tyler durden jr, trouble, Who? - every professor he’s ever had. — house, hypnos and mad about it. — age, 22, as of today. also mad about it. — gender, trans male. — pronouns, he/him. — sexual orientation, bisexual with a somewhat heavy masc lean. — d.o.b, january 1st, 1999. ( generally unknown to anyone but maybe siblings, he will probably lie and say Nobody Knows... I Just Am unless he really fucks with you. ) — hometown,

phys.

— height, 5′0ft even. furious about it. — eyes, brown. — hair, brown. — face claim, elliot fletcher.

misc.

— zodiac, capricorn. — alignment, chaotic good. — character inspo, lip gallagher, steve rogers ( young ), ellie from tlou1, logan howlett, stiles stilinski ( if anyone says shit i will scream ), probably someone from euphoria but i’m too scared to watch that, peter parker ( andrew garfield ), shinsou hitoshi, finn mertens, marceline the vampire queen, dipper pines, this is all over the place but it’s there. — most played spotify songs, passion for publication by anarbor, sober haha jk unless by hospital bracelet, nobody by mitski, class of 2013 by mitski, king princess’ cover of monster from adventure time, way too much phoebe bridgers, in love or whatever by future teens, and the entire front bottoms discography but especially in sickness & in flames with the hard way & bus beat well at the top of his loop. — aesthetics, bloody knuckles, left open and tipped over prescription bottles, walking on the carpet with socks to get that tingly feeling, skateboarding inside, dozing off at the bar, tangled legs in messy sheets, ten pillows on a twin sized mattress, laying down in the shower, brian sella’s cracky singing voice.

bio.

— axel was born and raised in brooklyn, new york, and he was claimed at thirteen, on his thirteenth birthday, by hypnos. — the day he was claimed, axel ceased contact with his human mother and his step-dad, and he attended a camp for half-bloods that wasn’t far from home. he spent his adolescence there year round for safety from monsters at home and abroad, then moved on to eonia. — ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw begin ) i don’t want to be too graphic here so i’m going to plainly say that axel’s mother was a very, very bad person, and the man she married was absent at his best, physically abusive at worst. axel’s powers ( hypnokinesis, namely ) were potent and difficult to control at a young age, and as a deeply religious catholic woman, this scared his mother and influenced most of the animosity in their relationship. she was convinced that the defensive visions he created and his ability to put her to sleep ( an attempt to help her, on his end; insomnia plagued her and later, it would him, too ) were of demonic origin, and tried to drown him more than once; cleansing, she claimed. the worst instance was the day he was claimed, actually — new years day, 2012; his life was saved by hypnos, and that was the last he saw of her. ( parental abuse tw, drowning tw end. ) — that said, he’s a little ( very ) hydrophobic. poseidon kids do NOT fucking interact ( i’m kidding. kind of. he Will avoid a little though ) — anyway! moving on. all of this aside, axel did his best to put his past behind him, and he was actually super stoked to learn that his powers came from somewhere good and that there was places out there for kids like him; to learn he wasn’t any kind of monster. ( still working on believing that, though.. marcelines monster.mp3 right here ) — he’s less stoked when he starts having trouble falling asleep, and really, it feels like a more cruel twist than any other fate has thrown at him ( his upbringing was chock full of mean twists, so that’s saying something ); and really, it’s more like insomnia just full on kicks in, but he can put other people to sleep. great, right? whatever, though — combat classes are kickass and he’s surrounded by babes that think he’s hilarious so things could be totally, way worse. — ( bullying tw (brief) ) for the most part, axel was pretty well liked among his peers. he was bullied as a young kid (pre-claim), but he bit back and he bit back hard, and sure, some of that followed him into his teen years but he’s more confident by then; less fun to poke at, and absolutely unhinged when provoked, so people learn better of it. the only real lasting effect was one instant that hit him a little too deep in the inferiority, when he was seventeen — he fell in love with a girl, told her that, and found himself at the end of a very mean spirited prank. he shook it off like he did anything else, or at least — he told himself he did, even if the hurt hit him somewhere a little too deep rooted ( ie. being god’s most unlovable son would naturally land him here, right? ) love’s kinda stupid anyways, so what the hell, right? (bullying tw end.)

— ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw begin ) this is already obscenely long so i’m just going to keep it to the point here and say he began drinking when he was sneaking booze in to camp at fifteen, and it just never stopped there. he’s also a massive stoner, which is all well, harmless and good for the most part; he’s always grinning, half-lidded, and has a room full of smoke at any given time. it’s the pills that do him in, and he did them at first just so he could get some shut eye, and... well. after that, because he’s dependent on them. but he keeps this part under wraps for the most part; it doesn’t have to be anyone’s problem but his, and it’s not a problem until it is one. partying’s fun, so is coke; so is taking a few too many xan’s, mdma. ( alcoholism tw, drug use tw end )

FUN FACTS!!!

— i swear he is not as doom and gloom as he sounds from the bio, and yeah, writing that made me so sad i feel like we absolutely must hone in on the fun and cute things about him!?! — he loves dnd. he can talk about it for HOURS and if you let him, he absolutely will. — adventure time makes him cry. he’s a baby don’t let him fool you. — very into cryptids, aliens, horror stories, conspiracy theories, in love with ryan from watcher, wanna be shane medej. — he loves to draw! the one thing he loves about his power is what it’s done for his imagination, and sure, he mostly draws horror things, but it’s why he went into video game development. he wants to be a concept artist. — his double major is in combat tactics because he loves fighting. he thinks it’s so fun. he’s a little nuts, actually — i mean, get hit in the face and come up grinning. all he’s ever wanted is to run a fight club and be the shortest, baddest little bitch on the planet. — he tends to nod off in weird places because he doesn’t sleep enough at night, which is sad, but; he can seriously fall asleep anywhere. standing up, in a tree, you name it. — he’s a hobby musician! he loves singing and playing guitar. — he’s a huge flirt. — loves to scare people. he’s harmless, though. like, honestly. he might make you think you’re seeing a walking toadstool but he’ll probably apologize later. — he’s very much a singing in the shower type? — clothes thief. friends and significant others beware. — actually, just kind of a thief? but of weird, little things. like, just the left shoe. puts them in a little corner in his room that he has set up like an exhibit. “things you thought you lost lol” is written on the whiteboard on the wall above it. he likes collecting rocks too. he’s a little freak!! — he’s better at the memory retrieval part of his power than the rest. naturally, as this mostly applies for other people.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. im literally so tired of hearing myself talk...

friends/squad. self explanatory!!! he’s friendly, a class clown, and a loyal friend through and through; he’s also adaptable, and his demeanor is very relaxed and inviting. he’s probably gonna have 2-3 people that he’s really close with, and he’d do quite literally anything for them. seriously, don’t tempt him. a best friend. so this is kind of vague but. i’d really love for him to have one person that is just a tier above the rest? they’d know things about him that are like pulling teeth to find out ( aka, anything deeper than his most recommended podcasts and loudmouth opinions on non important things ), someone who will call him on his shit, and maybe take care of his stupid little self when he gets too fucked up, because they’d be someone he trusts enough to let them. enemies? he probably gets along with most people until given a reason not to? but he is a loud mouth and if one of his friends gets into drama, he will stick his nose where it doesn’t belong and he will throw hands, so it could happen.

harmless rivalries. maybe even steamy ones. he’s a little shit and he likes banter so, so, so much? if given the opportunity and if someone rubs him a certain type of way, he’s so not above being a menace, although never super maliciously. just, you know, annoying the shit out of them on purpose, for fun. he’s also not above blowing a few kisses their way.

current hookups. self explanatory too. he’s a little harlot. HFBHVFNJ. it’s gonna be kinda hard to go beyond sex with him because he’s very deep in his own insecurity but he does catch feelings, he’s just mad about it when he does. i’m mostly gonna go off chem for that though! an ex. could be on friendly terms? but, it should be noted that he could’ve ghosted someone too; or pulled from the relationship when things got serious and he couldn’t choke out that ‘i love you’, even if he felt it. worse, if he did choke it out, but they didn’t feel the same way. siblings. hypnos kids he is gonna be so protective of all of u... family is hard for axel, i’m ngl, but he really wants one is the tragedy of it all, i guess? so he just really wants to be a good brother. he thinks hypnos is kind of a dick for making him but he tries not to fault him for his existence. fuck u dad i dont wanna be alive feels a little unfair. HDBHFDSJ. anyways he’s a good brother even if he is absolutely so reckless and terrifying in regards to himself but his siblings. his siblings he will do anything for. ALSO!!! FOUND FAMILY!!!! it would be kinda nice if he bonded with someone a little older maybe, could be outside of the hypnos house even, someone he’s kind of a bratty-little-brother type with.... or bratty older brother that takes your things and makes you laugh, y’know.

PERSONALITY. just tacking this part of the app on at the end too to highlight parts that i think are important for understanding who he is, and just so it’s all in one place!

toothy grins, half-lidded eyes, and keepin’ them laughing is what it’s all about, baby. axel walks with more confidence in his posture than he’s earned ( or claimed, for that matter ), and it’s the backbone of what gets him by. he’s a glowing example of the fake it ‘til you make it mentality, and he knows what he wants, usually how to get it, and doesn’t mind letting you know that. there’s an ever present mischievous glint in his eyes that says more about what to expect from him than he does, and that’s still not much? he likes to have fun, and there isn’t a whole lot of regard for righteousness or responsibility on his end, but hey! it’s usually only ever at his own expense, so what’s the damage? he’s an absolute clown and he knows it.

axel loves people. he does — you might not guess that with how elusive he is, but it’s true. there’s nothing he likes more than a good conversation with someone interesting, or maybe not even then; if there’s a sparkle in you, he’ll see it. ( might even draw it, not that you’d ever know. ) he’s warm, loyal, compassionate, relaxed, and understanding; and none of that is at the cost of being passive, or lacking passion.

as long as the vibes are right, he’s happy to just be; though, he’s known to have a fuse for certain provocations, and will jump readily at chance to fight in someone else’s honor. also, it’s not unlike him to spar for the sake of sparring; but that’s all in good fun, no worries.

there’s no way to sugarcoat it — axel has an inferiority complex. where that stems from is something he’s more self-aware of than he’s willing to admit, but he doesn’t have the patience or the will to dissect it; much less do anything about it, and he’s as bull-headed as they come — especially regarding anything related to the psyche. how much this impacts his demeanor and relationships with others varies on the situation, but one constant is that he’s going to retreat before things get bad; even if ‘things are getting bad’ exists only as his own paranoia-born hypothetical.

things can’t go bad if you don’t let them, and he’s content to keep it that way; even if it means being stuck in the stasis of missed opportunities. it’s when he’s retreating into himself that he can get irritable, anxious, jumpy; secretive, defensive, even. he’s personable until he isn’t, essentially.

#euintro #ik elliots like 5'7 but i've never let this kid be taller than me and i will not start now #parental abuse tw #bullying tw #drug use tw #alcoholism tw #drowning tw #religious trauma tw #jesus christ whats wrong with me #anyway who wants him #Because I Dont #anyway im not fucking proofreading it JBFGHBFJFBDJSKNMA im so sorry this is a monster in length

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sokkasangel · 4 years

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emotions

»»——— eijirio kirishima x reader

summary: the times you expressed all four emotions (happiness, sadness, fear, anger) with kirishima, & the one time you realized your best friend was the love of your life...

warnings: slight angst

a/n: skida! part two is coming soon!!! don’t worry!!!

masterlist

happiness:

“i hope they have it,” you wished aloud as you entered the convenient store.

kirishima walked a little ahead of you, beating you to opening the door. he had offered to walk you, & you politely declined. but he convinced you by saying something about “everyone needs a buddy” & “a buddy — at the very least — makes things less quiet”. so you agreed. & now you had someone to tease & laugh with on the way home.

“what?” kirishima followed you as you walked past the cashier & isles of snacks.

“my peach iced tea!” you exclaimed as you neared the refrigerated section.

“peach tea? don’t they sell those almost everywhere?” kirishima asked after he caught up with you. “& why are you walking so fast?”

“i’m excited!” you spun around as you walked. & like it was contagious, kirishima joined in with your laughter. “plus,” you continued. “it’s a certain brand. i can never find it anywhere.”

“well, let me know if you do. i’ll be in the snack isle,” he pointed to the beef jerky & chip section. you nodded & then focused on your mission. you were going to get your iced tea.

after a few moments of scanning the many drinks, you finally found it. the glorious pink can. it was just how you remembered. the pastel pink stood out among the drab colors of surrounding bottles, & the words “peace tea - peach flavored” yelled in bold lettering.

you gasped. this store — which was only a block away from ua — had your favorite drink this entire time?!

your exclaimation caught kirishima’s attention. his head poked out from the shelves & he waddled over. when you finally saw his whole body, you noticed that his hands were full of jerky & pringle’s.

“i found it!” you smiled with your mouth wide open, & you hugged the can with your cheek. it’s condensation cooled your skin. “here feel.”

you grabbed one of kirishima’s hands & pressed it to your face.

“ouch!” he ripped his hand back & resituated his snacks. “too cold!”

“hey!” you pouted. “that was warm!”

“c’mon, cutie, let’s go check out.”

sadness:

today was not your day.

the amounts of schoolwork piled up on your desk. sure, becoming a hero was fun, but it didn’t excuse you from calculus and english class. & it didn’t help that you couldn’t understand anything the teacher was saying.

& your bed was covered in laundry that long needed to be folded. so now, you couldn’t even lay in your own bed.

on top of chores & school, your parents had called nonstop for a week. they bugged you about grades & scores & hero internships. not one word of praise or love.

it was all exhausting & too much.

you had been sitting at your desk for what was now hours. checking your phone, you saw that it was already 9:00p.

already? you thought. my last break was during dinner.

you need to escape. tears pooled your eyes as the stress came crashing down on you. you still had hours of work, & you couldn’t crawl into bed & ignore it. but you needed a break.

so you pushed yourself away from your desk and left your dorm for the common area. it should have been empty, but when you walked in, bakugou & kirishima were eating snacks.

you quickly swiped the remaining tears from your cheeks & walked past them. you were thankful for the dim lighting.

you passed the kitchen & entered the living room. you situated yourself into the couch & reached for the remote. but nothing sounded good; you just kept looking through movies upon movies.

you huffed.

the sound of dishes clanking together mixed with fading footsteps. they must have gone to bed...

tears welled up. even when you were away from everything, you were still stressed. it wasn’t even finals either.

as you groaned, a head popped out from behind the couch. it hovered over yours. when you looked up, kirishima’s face was upside-down.

“you okay?” he asked.

that was it. the last straw. the tears kept coming and coming. you buried your eyes in your hands & begged for it to stop. kirishima was immediately by your side. he reached an arm over you & pulled you in. his warmth was comforting & it distracted you for a second.

“what happened?” his voice was soft. you always thought that was ironic. his quirk was hardening, but he was always soft.

when you moved your hands, you saw that kirishima was also crying. this made you want to cry even more.

“why are you crying?” you asked & wiped one of his tears.

“because you are.”

you smiled & hugged him. you could always rely on kirishima. he was your best friend. nothing could change that.

fear:

it was dark & cold.

the cold crept up your neck & made your teeth chatter.

you kept reaching out for something — anything. but once you did, you felt on your knees. you could hear them crack under your weight. it was agonizing.

a deep voice was surrounding you. it was laughing at you; taunting you. it was also familiar.

it was him...

his eyes glowed in the pitch black. they drew nearer & nearer. you could hear his breath get closer & closer & closer...

you bolted upright. you were covered in a cold sweat, and you noticed all your pillows & blankets had been tossed to the floor.

this had been happening a lot recently. ever since the incident at usj, nightmares had taken over your sleep. the thought of that man’s hands scared you beyond anything.

& before you could think anymore, you made your way out the door. you didn’t even bother to put on shoes. you snuck through the dorm & into the hallway.

it was a short walk to the boys’ dorms.

you had only made this trip once before, so you weren’t totally confident in not being caught. but luckily, you made it to the door you were searching for.

you quietly opening it & slipped inside. you maneuvered across the floor. it was too dark to see, so you held your hands out in front of you.

“oww!” you cried. you held your toe & whimpered.

“huh?” kirishima’s voice rung throughout the previously silent room. his bedside light clicked on; the brightness momentarily blinded you. you looked down & realized you had stubbed your toe on a weight. “y/n? whadder you doing here? what time is it?”

“i had a nightmare,” you said, embarrassed. it was like you were five years old. “can i sleep in here tonight?”

“of course.” kirishima opened his blankets & scooted over. “c’mere.”

you shuffled into his bed. it was warm & everything smelled like him. it was so nice.

after getting comfortable, you switched the light off.

“i’m actually kinda glad you’re here,” kirishima whispered.

“me too.”

a few moments passed.

“you make me feel safe,” you commented & snuggled closer to your friend.

“i’m glad.”

anger:

“YOURE SO SELFISH!”

you had been screaming through the phone for what seemed like hours. your voice was hoarse & your legs were tired from you pacing about the living room.

luckily, everyone was out today. so you were able to scream without anyone being disturbed.

“IM SELFISH? HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF?”

you didn’t know how it got this bad.

this was one of your closest friends. & now she was your worst enemy. the reason for the argument was long buried underneath horrible namecalling & profanities. both of you brought up points that were wrong & could never be forgiven.

“hey, i was gonna touch up my roots an-“

a certain red-headed man stopped dead in his tracks. he had walked right into a screaming match. he’d never seen you this angry. sure, you’ve yelled at denki & bakugou. but those times couldn’t compare to now.

“YOURE THE WORST!”

“I HATE YOU!”

you stopped.

she hated you? no, that’s not right. this was the woman who was going to be at your wedding, the girl who always had your back.

the fight had gotten bad, but this? this was beyond anything you could’ve imagined.

without replying, you hung up & threw your phone into the couch as hard as possible. you huffed & ran your hands over your face.

“y/n?” kirishima ventured further into the living room. “what happened?”

angrily & resentfully, you managed to explain how you & your friend had started to fight. you told him all what was said. you thought talking about it would make you calm down, but it only fired you up.

“why don’t we take a walk?” kirishima suggested.

“don’t wanna.”

“workout?”

“too tired.”

he had been sitting on the couch, watching you pace as you retold the story. but now, he got up & wrapped you in his arms.

“let go-“ you wiggled in his arms & noticed that he used his quirk to keep you in place. “stop! kiri, i swear. i don’t wanna be hugged right now!”

but he stayed silent. he just held you closer, in fact. & as if it flipped a switch in your brain, you slowed down. your breathing calmed, your mind stopped buzzing, & the need to keep moving stopped.

“wh-“

“i know you, y/n.” he rested his chin on the crown of your head. “i know what you need without you having to say anything.”

love:

the teasing from your class had gotten worse over the past two months. your classmates had always joked about you & kirishima, but ever since denki found out you snuck into kirishima’s dorm, it grew substantially.

but you ignored it. there was nothing between you two... right?

okay, so you tried to ignore it.

but ever since the fight with your now ex-friend, something changed. the words of your friends invaded your mind.

“don’t you see the way he looks at you?” jirio’s voice echoed in your head.

his eyes softened sure, but didn’t all friends’?

but the more you thought about it, maybe it wasn’t normal.

you noticed how his eyes wandered to your lips, which made your cheeks heat up. & you remembered how he once bit his lip while listening to you ramble. even thinking back on it made you flustered.

“you smile whenever his name is mentioned!” ochaco had commented once.

you thought back.

whenever bakugou mentioned that kirishima was tagging along, your heart did skip a beat. but it was because he was your best friend.

just your best friend. nothing more.

“don’t you ever want to be more than that though?” tsu asked a while ago.

yeah, you thought about it while you were cuddle up with him in his bed. but you never made a move. he was a friend.

oh my god, you thought to yourself. i’m in love with my friend.

you laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. now what?

you sat up & hung your legs over the side. you clicked your heels together, thinking.

you didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had. but he had these feelings too right? everyone said so. hell, you even took notice. you can’t just keep this bottled up. you saw too many romance movies with this plot. it never ended good.

so you ran out of the room.

you were going to find kirishima. you were going to confess to your best friend.

you looked through the kitchen & living room & didn’t see him. you ran through hall after hall. but not once did you see him. where was he?

the sun was setting, & the school was now covered in an orange hue. you were on your way back to your room. you had been looking for at least a half an hour & nothing.

as you turned a corner, you bumped into something hard.

“ouch!” you looked up at what smacked into you.

it was him.

“oh thank goodness i found you!” he exclaimed & grabbed you by the arms. “i’ve been trying to find you for like an hour!”

“i- i’ve been looking for you, too.”

“i need to tell you something... something really important.”

“me too.” your nerves were building up. what if he said no? would it go back to normal? would there be a wall between you two after this?

“i realized something today,” he began.

“i did, too. ... kiri, i think i-“

“IM IN LOVE WITH YOU, Y/N!” he yelled. it came out so fast that you thought you misheard it. “i love you.”

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnha kirishima #bnha au #bnha imagines #mha x reader #mha #kirishima smut #kirishima eijirou #kirishima ejirou x you #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima x reader

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

Text

Fall Back to the Jet

Summary- Bucky x Y/N (Steve, Natasha, and Sam features) Cap tells you to fall back to the Quinnjet, but you decide on another option. Lucky Buckys close by. Warning- Violence, swearing. Written for @hopingforbarnes 250 Writing Challenge. Congrats!!!! Prompt is in bold italiacs.

Word Count- 1.9k

It was all going smooth till Steve spoke directly to you in his com “Y/N, we have it from here, fall back to the quinnjet”

You were still the rookie although its been a year, and Steve was the Captain, No one defies the captain, except for you. You eyed the open doorway the hydra agent just went into, taking a deep breath as your resolve settled, you werent going to sit on the quinjet any longer while the rest cleaned up. Ducking into the dark doorway, you stalked down the stairs while hearing your name being yelled at in the com “Y/N, I TOLD YOU TO FALL BACK” Sorry Cap, not this time.

There are times in your life you maybe regret a decision, this was one of them. You thought the room was clear, sweeping your sights back and forth from the other end of a rifle, when there was a clip to the back of your head, knocking you forward and stupidly dropping your gun. “You Mother Fucker!” you yelp, and turn to face your opponent, twisting your head slightly to knock out the kink he put in your neck. He was well over twice your size, his meaty hands flexing to get around that slim column of your neck, you could see it in his eyes when he lunged at you, side stepping around him with a kick. It was like bouncing your foot off cement and didnt phase him much, smirking at you as he came at you again. “SHIT!” you state as you start blocking and trying to attack back.

“Bucky you got her?” Steve hissed as they barged into a lab and Steve threw up the shield, blocking the barrage of bullets aimed at the two men.

“Yea I got her” Bucky ducking behind the shield and once in a while lifting behind from it and aiming his own specially trained on targets rounds, he twisted away and went back out the way he came, using his vibranium arm to slam open doors to see them empty. “Come on Y/N, where the hell are you?” He snarled, until he heard you cussing out someone and the shallow sound of flesh getting pounded on. He hoped that it would be you doing the pounding, but when he opened the door, that certainly wasnt the case.

Bucky came into you looking twisted around the mans arm, and him slamming you down into the floor, doing your best to keep your head from being bashed in, attempting a kick into his face, his throat, just about anywhere to get him to release his hold. Blood ran down the side of your face from your scalp and your words were flying just as much as anytime youve ever been pissed off, regardless of the situation. “If you dont let me the fuck go you dick wilted asswipe, Im gonna rip your balls off and stuff them down your throat.” If Bucky wasnt scared as hell for you at the moment, he would have rolled his eyes at you, once he realized the way you were being flung back and forth wasnt gonna allow him to take a shot, he shouldered the weapon.Close attack it would be

Without another pause, Bucky strode forward, his strides wide and his metal arm slammed into the hyrdra agents side of the head, jarring his hand to open wrapped around your neck and you fell to the floor from a considerable height,snapping the back of your skull against the cement with a sharp cry. Rolling away from the two men clashing like titans above you. Bucky was shorter in stature then the hydra agent was, but much more quick on his feet, as well as being a super soldier, it wasnt exactly a fair hand on hand fight. Within minutes the agent was merely blocking the bone rattling blows Bucky was issuing, you were crawling across the floor to where you dropped your weapon, sitting back and putting it to your shoulder, waiting to get a clear shot.

Buckys silver hand wrapped around the back of the mans neck, the plates clinking as he tightened pressure and swung him around right in the aim of your shot, you lining hydra right up in your cross hairs, and pulling the trigger. Barnes turned his face away to keep from getting splattered from brain matter and blood. Loosening his hold, the hydras body, minus the top of his skull, collapsed with a dull thud. You lower the rifle and wince, placing your hand against your head. “Bucky... he got me pretty good.” Your vision going in and out at the moment.

“Jesus Christ Doll” He hisses as he sidesteps around the body and goes to you, his hands cupping your face to look in your eyes. “Can you focus on me?” You blink a few times and wide eyed stare right at him best you can.

“Hows that?” You question, grinning stupidly since your just glad Bucky got there in time. He frowned a bit and sighed, wrapping you in his arm to get you to stand.

“Steve, I got her, Im taking her back to the Jet.” He spoke, not to you though and you didnt bother trying to get an answer. With his assistance, you two hobbled, less with sleuth, but with plenty of pauses for Bucky to check to make sure the coast was clear, the two of you headed outside. Sam was already in the jet, waiting on the two of you.

“Steve and Nat are finishing up downloading the computer files, then they will join us. Come on Kid, I got a spot waiting for you.”

“She had her head hit pretty badly” Bucky stated as you two followed Sam inside, going to sit you down, a wave of nausea threatened to upchuck whatever breakfast was, which what was that again? Oh yea, bowl of Wheaties, you remarking to Steve and Bucky this morning across the table.

“Breakfast of Champs!” You werent exactly feeling like a champ right now.

Sam looked you over to, prying one eyelid open, then the other. “I think shes going to be okay, but once we reach the compound we will be able to take a closer look.” Bucky settled in beside you and you pried them open once more.

“Thanks for coming for me.”

It was this moment Steve and Natasha returned, Steve snapping past you without acknowledging you at the moment. “Get us home Sam” his voice clipped, and Natasha plopped down next to you, her eyes brimming with worry. “Hey, we win some, we loose some right? You also got a hard head, I know.” She teased, having sparred and tumbled with you plenty of times. Steve stayed up at the front with Sam for the moment, but once he was sure you were okay, back home, you were most likely gonna get one of the famous Cap speeches youve seen him dish out to other agents. For now you were content to lay your head on Buckys shoulder, his hand resting against his knee, palm up. Without hesitating, you weave your fingers with his and he gives them a gentle squeeze. It might amaze others just how gentle he could be with that vibranium limb of his. Not you though.

When the jet lands, you walk off, much more in control then before, but Bucky still hovers nearby and follows you into the medic bay. Quickly your head is checked over, a flashlight shining in your eyes, follow the finger, clean up the scrapes and blood. “Your gonna be dizzy for a few days, so nothing strenuous.”

In this moment, you were okay with that.

Steve came in, his demeanor still snapping in anger, but a touch calmer then before. He glanced at the medic and asked “Please, give us a few moments Ma’am, then you can have your patient back.” Bucky moved to take over bandaging the rest of you up as the medic left the room to the three of you.

He looked at you, hands moving to rest against his hips as he seemed to asses you. “I heard your okay, Y/N. Good, you gave your team quite a scare.” You did have the audacity to look a bit sheepish, but felt the need to defend your actions. “I know, I honestly thought I had him.”

“Thought, not good enough. Your still fairly new to the team...” This caused a look from you while Bucky patched up the back of your head as best he could. “So I think a bit more team building practices are in order Y/N. Until then, field work is off the table.”

“What? Steve, come on.” You go to push Bucky back so you can stand up, but hes firm, firmer then you can give him credit for. “It was one mistake, I made a bad call.”

“Yea, could have gotten you killed. Your always trying to think solo and you just cant. Were a team Y/N. We work together. Ive already made the decision.”

You kinda gape as Steve turns to leave, fuming. You swear your heads going to blow like in those old bugs bunny cartoons where it goes off like a train whistle. “That son of a bitch just benched me. BENCHED ME!” This time you manage to move to a stand, about to storm off after Steve, but Bucky caught your arm and sat your ass back down.

“Youve got to calm down before I can fix you up, Okay?” Bucky said calmly as he works diligently. His hands just as gentle as ever, you can barely even tell hes doing anything. You stay as still as you can, fighting back frustrated tears at the Captain benching you like this. Your tired and sore, your reaction just adding to your already bad day. “It was one mistake, one. I just hate always being told to go back to the jet when I could be helping you guys out. It was a bad call on my part, but fuck... I just wanted to be useful. I cant believe how bad this has turned into.”

Bucky is silent for a moment before he pulls back and studies your face momentarily, and sighs. “Listen, I will talk to Steve, okay? Right now hes just being a dick. He will give everyone else crap about not following orders, but damned if he does.” You wipe at your face to get rid of the frustrated tears build up and arched your brows, hopeful.

“You would really do that Bucky? If he says yes, I promise I wont mess up again.”

“Course I would, and let me tell you, Steve wouldnt have listened either.” He went to pick up the tools and waste sitting on the table nearby, and scrubbed his hands clean. “Let him just cool off, hes probably speaking in worry as well Y/N. He doesnt always show it, but your just as much family as the rest of us.”

Tentatively you go to stand, touching the bandages he finished securing gently and wincing. Without even asking he held out some aspirin that you popped immediately. “How about we go crash on the couch? You still owe me live commentary on that second little people going to drop some jewelry in a fiery hole movie. What was it again?”

This caused you to laugh. “The Twin Towers? Sounds good Bucky”

@what-is-your-plan-today @official-and-unstable-satan @p8tn0lish

#hopingforbarnes250writingchallenge #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #steve rogers #sam wilson #natasha romanoff #mcu #marvel #writing challenge #amber writes

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mother-snake · 4 years

Text

the grims wish

(the next series im writting!!! and its got a first chapter! also should i bring my oc’s into this??) tags: @idkanameatall

next: n/a warnings: swaring

- janus is a magician. he has been since he was nine. and recently, things have been changing... its up to him and several others to fix whats gone wrong

Chapter 1- it was a stormy day

there were once skies filled with wonderful things. Birds, bugs, planes and clouds. the earth had people walking the streets getting to work. Some would ride bikes and others drive via car, bus or taxi. the planet filled with beautiful stones and flourished green everywhere.

Now things were changing. Ever since the lunar eclipse almost 100 years ago now. Things changed. the eclipse lasted for an entire day, and when it had stopped… two suns were in the sky. One shining bright and the other barely duller.

The people of the planet changed. Some could transform into wild animals; others couldn’t walk in the light. Some could manipulate the elements with spells. very few people had changed however. Most people stayed the same. And that meant the fear of the unknown would resurface. Those who had changed learned to adapt to the less forgiving.

Some would band together and try and find a place to fit in. some did, others couldn’t. starving of hunger or dying from the harsh winters.

I was one of the less fortunate. After I had turned 18 id been kicked out of my home with sunny by my side. sunny was my familiar. Looking like a boa constrictor but almost ghostly. You could see through her yellow shinny body. But her black eyes could pierce through your own skin.

Right now, she was wrapped around me like a thick warm scarf. Trying her best to provide me some warmth as the rain thundered down onto the ground. I was already soaked to the bone and an icy feeling had already set into my bones.

I looked around the streets, vision being blurred by the rain that poured relentlessly.

I pushed myself of the ground where I sat. there was no place open for me to sit in. and if there was, they didn’t take too kindly to magicians. that’s what I hated about coming back here. but there wasn’t anywhere else to travel to.

I grumbled as my hood fell down. Exposing my already wet hair to the rain. At least with it up I could contain some warmth. I didn’t bother to put it back up. there was no point in doing so.

I let out a huff. My feet made barely any noise as I made my way down the street. If there was one place, I could go it was the train station. But even then, I was cutting it close.

A loud bark cut me out of my thoughts as I felt something grab the hood of my jacket and tug me backwards as a car raced in front of my vision.

Whatever was holding onto me let go and I swivelled on my heel to face it. my eyes locked onto a black dog. It stood up to my height. Its glowing indigo eyes alerted me to the fact it wasn’t human. it glanced to my neck and looked curiously at my familiar.

“thanksss,” sunny hissed to the dog who barked back in response.

It nodded to me and soon a bright blue light swarmed where it stood. Shifting to the form of a human. A tall one at that. “sorry for the scare,” they said.

He wore a black suit. A blue stripped tie matched his animal’s eyes. a black umbrella was raised in the air, protecting him from the rain. A small part of me was jealous. Another part slightly ready to turn tail and run.

“come, we should get out of the rain, I have a feeling it won’t let up any time soon,” he said as he held out a hand. sunny turned her head to look at me and gave a small nod. Well if she could trust him. So could I.

I took his hand and was pulled under the umbrella. It wasn’t much. but it was nice to not have rain pouring over me. we walked silently next to each other. Not saying a single word. I hunched myself over. My overgrown hair covering the left side of my face. something I was thankful he couldn’t see.

“so,” he said, “may I ask for your name?” “Janus, and you?” “Logan berry. It’s a pleasure Janus,” he said loudly, trying to talk over the rai.

We turned a corner. I chuckled as I realised the school I’d gone to so long ago was still around. It was by no means small. It stood proudly in the storm. A small part of me felt my spine shiver. As if something from inside was looking into my soul.

Then before I knew it was out of vision.

It was around ten minuets later that we arrived to a very posh looking set of apartments. Definitely not new. I recognised them.

Soon we were inside one. A deep red door with the numbers 24 plastered on neatly. Logan opened the door and ushered me inside. It was a lot different than I had imagined. The entrance hall had several doors lined up on either side. A couple were open.

“hey Logan its good to-“ a voice called. the figure at the end of the hall stood stunned upon seeing me, his eyes going wide upon seeing sunny. “oh my, Logan can you grab a towel for the poor soul?” he said.

Logan gave a sharp nod before patting my arm as if saying ‘good luck’. I let a weak smile on my face as I made my way forwards as he ushered me further in. warmth seeped into my bones. Something I had been very thankful for. Almost relaxing as it hit my skin. sunny let out a content hiss as well. I’m not really sure if it was because she was warm or if it was because she knew I was. a mini mother snake is what she was… and I was perfectly fine with that.

“my names Patton, you’re more than welcome to stay here to wait out the storm he said as he ruffled my wet hair. he let out a chuckle, making his way out of view.

Thankfully Logan chose that moment to walk in. a towel in hand and some other things. “I brought you a change of clothes, I have a feeling those cant be very comfortable nor hygienic right now,” he said, “the bathroom is down the hall. Second door to the right.

I stood there stunned. My mind seemingly frozen. “I think you broke my human,” sunny hissed over to Logan as she looked at me with a smirk.

“I never asked for your name, my apologies,” Logan said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “sssummer, but my human callsss me sssunny,” she said.

I shook my head, snapping out of my thoughts, “are you certain? I don’t want to intrude,” I muttered. “it’s quite all right Janus. I know what its like being out there. To be honest you look like you need a place to stay for tonight. So, might as well get comfy.”

I nodded and made my way to the bathroom. so…Patton and Logan hu? Were they now my friends?

I’m not surprised at Logan knowing what its like to be on the streets for so long. He looked at least two years older than me. His skin was a pale white, black ebony hair seemed to contrast his skin. and sky-blue eyes that could melt the iciest of hearts.

A small flush of the cheeks was all it took for me to take the things he was holding and make my way into the hall. the bathroom hadn’t been hard to miss. Going in had made me chuckle. Several shelves on the walls held rubber ducks. Multi coloured and wearing clothing of famous figures.

I couldn’t resist the smile that slipped onto my face.

I was out of the room within five minutes. My hair was still slightly damp, but at least not dripping onto my back. I pulled it back into a ponytail. But kept the left half covered by my hair.

I took a deep breath. All my damp clothes were shoved into my previously empty backpack. I picked it up and opened the door. Laughter rung in my ears. But it was familiar. One I hadn’t heard in years.

I could feel both mine and sunny’s excitement flooding us all at once. I made my way forwards and peaked my hear around the corner and let a grin cover my face.

“ah! There you are kiddo,” Patton said excitedly, grabbing my hand and dragging me in.

“holy shit,” moustache said, “dude, how the fuck are you still alive?!” the strangers in the room seemed startled for a couple seconds. “Remus, I haven’t an idea,” I said as we brought each other into a hug.

“seven fucking years Jannie. Seven fucking years,” he muttered as he held on tighter. “eh, could’ve been longer,” I looked over Remus’s shoulder to see his gobsmacked twin, “hello roman.”

“wait, you two know Janus?” Patton said stunned “hell yeah!” Remus exclaimed, “we went to the same school.”

“well anyways, have time to talk,” Patton said, “dinners in the oven and id like to get to know our guest,”

And that’s how the evening went. I answered their questions. Mainly the twins spitting them out rapid fire. there were plenty of laughs as I told them about everywhere id been. They had seemed genuinely surprised that I had been everywhere it seemed. With the limits of being in the uk, it was much easier to travel around than if I were to be in America. I would most likely still be roaming thinking about it.

Time passed quicker than I’d realised. Soon the rain had stopped pouring from the sky. Instead replaced by an inky black sky. Clouds seemed to cover the sky as I looked out the window.

Sunny shimmered back into view from her invisible cloaking on the window ledge. “he hassn’t changed, hasss he?” she hissed out. “ha, indeed,” I muttered back, letting out a yawn.

There was a knock on the main door. I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard someone open the door and slam it behind themselves. “hey guys!” oh god… this wouldn’t go down well… “hey Virgil, we have a guest for today so be polite okay,” Patton called out.

When Virgil entered the Livingroom, basically commons for them. He froze as he saw me sitting by the window. “oh for fuck’s sake, why are you here?” he groaned. “trust me, ill be out of your hair soon enough Virgil. I promise,” I sighed, “I already feel like I’m intruding.”

He gave me a pat on the back and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small clip. he reached up to my face and pulled my hair out of my face, clipping it back with a spider hairclip. “you will have shitty vision if you keep covering that side you know?

I sighed, there was no point on letting my hair fall back into place. From memory Virgil seemed to have hair and bobby pins all over himself. There was no hiding from the onslaught of hair accessories.

“so… what you been doing these past three years then?” he asked nervously.

I chuckled and began to recount all I’d previously told the others. it had been a while since he had felt welcome anywhere. And here in this small pack of monsters and humans… he hadn’t felt at home ever more than now.

#Janus sanders #Roman sanders #Sander sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #Virgil sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #magic au #sander sides magic au #new series!

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princessbunnyblossom · 4 years

Text

Roses and Bitemarks Ch 4

Spinel looked out onto the vast empire of Homeworld and found herself wanting to explore it for herself. Years left in the garden had made the young pink gem’s curiosity grow by tenfold. Spinel began walking forward but was stopped by someone speaking to her.

“I'm sorry but are you lost?” They asked.

Spinel turned around and was greeted by a yellow and blue Zircon.

“Huh?” Spinel asked confused.

“We couldn't help but notice that you looked a little lost.” Blue Zircon said.

“Oh.” Spinel said feeling slightly embarrassed.

The two gems smiled but the blue one nudged the yellow Zircon who had been staring intently at Spinel’s injured knee. The yellow gem jumped feeling slightly embarrassed as she spoke.

“We could take you to your preferred destination if you like.” She said.

Spinel stared at these two gems and could feel her heart shaped gem get faintly warm. These gems were being so nice. Spinel looked down though feeKing both lost and sad.

“I-I don't have anywhere...to go.” She admitted shamefully.

There was silence between the two Zircons and single Spinel.

“Well maybe we could help you find a place to stay or at least reside in.” Blue Zircon offered.

Spinel looked up at them unable to help but smile at them. She was so happy and grateful that these two were helping her in a time where she needed it most.

“Oh thank you. Thank you so much.” She beamed.

"Come along then, we should leave..” Yellow Zircon said.

Spinel nodded eagerly following them closely. Spinel glanced at the blue Zircon and asked her many questions. She was curious about Homeworld she hadn't seen it change before and seeing so many new things made her question it. The blue Zircon politely answered any of her questions but the yellow Zircon was wondering who this gem was. Her cut was perfect but she had never seen a gem like her before.

Who was she?

As they walked further towards their destination yellow Zircon found herself buzzing with questions as she accidentally stared at the pink gem more than one time. Once Spineo caught the yellow gem staring the pink heart shaped gem opened her mouth to speak.

“Is something wrong?” Spinel asked quietly.

The yellow Zircon promptly stopped causing the blue Zircon to stop as well. Spinel could feel her heart sink as she seemed pretty nervous.

“It's been bugging me for awhile but. Who exactly ARE you?” The yellow gem asked.

“Yellow! Don't be so rude!” Blue Zircon hissed.Spinel seemed to be pretty confused.

“My name is Spinel.” The pink gem said.

The two stopped bickering and stared.

“I'm sorry but did you say your a spinel?” The Bkue Zircon asked. Spinel nodded.

“That's...not correct ...there…..hasn't been any history of a spinel in eons ...not since...maybe era two or one but that would mean…” Yellow Zircon lauded plundering for a moment.

“May I ask where you came from?” The yellow gem asked.

Spinel could feel her breath being caught in her throat. She forced the words out of her mouth though despite it feeling like she was swallowing something sour.

“I-I came.” Spinel stuttered feeling sick as she felt she was saying something was physically bringing her pain.

“I-I came from the ga-garden.” She stuttered out swallowing a lump in her throat.

The yellow and blue gems stared at the pink gem confused.

“A garden? Why the only garden I can think of is the one the Diamonds gifted to Pink Diamond.” Blue Zircon said.

Spinel flinched upon hearing her Diamond's name.

“Wait! Are you telling us you came from that garden!” Cried yellow Zircon.

Spinel flinched again out of fear this time but nodded.

There was a moment of silence before the two gems spoke up again. Spinel flinched upon hearing her Diamond's name.

“Wait! Are you telling us you came from that garden!” Cried yellow Zircon.

Spinel flinched again out of fear this time but nodded.

There was a moment of silence before the two gems spoke up again.

“So….you belong to Pink Diamond…you're Pink Diamond’s playmate..” Yellow Zircon said in awe.

The pink gem stood there but slowly nodded feeling her stomach twist into knits.

“I'm ...Im not her playmate anymore..” Came a pained and sad response from the small pink gem.

The two gems remained quiet feeling now that they had struck a sensitive nerve with the lone gem. Spinel wanted to cry right now but she was afraid to cry in front of them but it seemed too late as she felt the wet and cool feeling down her face. As she realized this she hid her face in her hands and wept silently.

“We’re so sorry we didn't mean to make you cry!” Blue Zircon cried shooting Yellow Zircon a glare. feeling guilty for hurting someone who seemed so sweet..

“Apologize that question was highly inappropriate.” Blue Zircon chastised.

“I didn't know it would upset her that much. I just wanted to know what gem she was,.” Yellow Zircon defended herself.

Spinel sniffed whiping her tears away.

“I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have acted like that.” Spinel apologized.

“No it's okay.” The two gems say in Union.

“We're here anyway.” Blue Zircon said.

The young Spinel sighed softly looking up to what appeared to be a building.

“This is where you’ll be staying for the night. I'm sure you’ll like it. it's much better in here than outside.. Sides it's safer inside than outside.” Blue Zircon said calmly.

‘Safer inside than outside? What did they mean by that?’ Spinel thought.

The gems upon entering the building Spinel could sense an odd calm feeling but something felt off. She watched as the Blue Zircon closed the door gesturing her to follow Yellow Zircon to which the small pink gem smiled and nodded following the yellow gem who lead her to an empty room.

“This is where you’ll be staying for the night. Don't leave your room last late hours. It's safer inside than outside.” Yellow Zircon warned repeating the words Blue Zircon had said.

Spinel seemed both confused and a little concern what did they mean by that was something happening to Homeworld. Spinel hasn't noticed that Yellow Zircon had been staring at her injured knee while she was lost in her own thoughts. As Spinel walked towards the window of the building she looked out almost enjoying the view . However that's when she began noticing that a few lights were being turned off. Spinel could see Yellow Diamond’s bald was completely void of any light and was so Pink Diamond’s half as well.

What was happening.

Spinel didn't know but something told her that she didn't like it. She listened as her room door opened and turned seeing Blue Zircon again holding something soft. A cloth of some soft what was it called again ...ah...blankets. Pink told her that humans use it to keep warm.

“Here it'll keep you warm.” Blue Zircon said calmly handing the blanket over to the pink spinel.. The small pink gem looked up and smiled sweetly.

“Thank you.” She replied putting it around her shoulders as she watched the Bkue gem leave closing the door in the process. </p>Spinel as much as she wanted to protest about being alone couldn't as she was too scared and didn't want to be such a burden to them. The small pink gem could feel herself getting a little sleepy. Of course gems don't need sleep but for some reason Spinel felt oddly sleepy. She couldn't understand why she felt such a feeling but Stargell enough she didn't seem to care. The young Spinel sat on the ground and Kennedy against the wall near the window before closing her pink eyes and began drifting away from the world around her.

Spinel could feel herself floating but could hear voices speaking to her at first they sounded muffled and she couldn't get a lick of sense out of what they might be saying but eventually she could hear them clearly. Spinel could feel the warmth radiating off of her it was gentle and pleasant. Yet so,etching felt off...not in a good way though.

“Spinel open your eyes.” A gentle soothing voice spoke.

Spinel slowly opened her eyes and could make out so,etching in blue and red. She couldn't see their faces but definitely could sense something was wrong.

“Spinel you are in danger.” The blue gem said.

“D-danger?” Spinel stuttered feeKing a sense of dread drape over her.

“But we’re gonna do everything we can to protect you.” The red gem said.

Spinel looked at her with pink fearful eyes. She had no clue what was gonna happen but so,etching told her it wasn't good.

“You're gonna need to trust us. It'll keep you alive.” The Bkue gem said.

“We're going to help you he through this trust us.” The two gems said in Union.

Spinel didn't understand what either of them were talking about but the young pink jolted awake by a sharp pain which caused Spinel to shriek in pain. Spinel looked around frantically and to her horror she stared at Yellow Zircon who had her sharp fangs digging into Spinel's leg where she had hurt her knee. Spinel shrieked and kicked off the yellow gem. At doing this Spinel felt another wave of sharp pain as she winced and whimpered.

It hurt when she pulled back.

It stung and she could feel more of her blood seep out. Spinel watched as pink blood seeped out of the bite wound causing her to whimper. She opened her mouth trying to speak.

“Wh-why ...why did y-you.” Spinel stuttered.

The small pink gem could feel herself tremble the pain the bite hurt a bit.. She moved her now injured leg to her chest and winced and bit her lip it hurt to move it too.. Spinel glanced up to see the yellow Zircon hunched over pink blood dripping from its mouth.

“Please.” Came a hoarse voice which sounded more of a growl that seemed to scare Spinel.

She didn't understand why that gem did such a mean thing like that.

“Please....let me.” Yellow Zircon said in a low growl.

The yellow Zircon turned to her. Spinel sat there terrified at what she saw. Yellow Zircon’s fangs were dripping with pink blood, fangs coated in it. The sight alone seemed to make Spinel as she sat frozen in fear. .

“Let me drink more of it!” The gem shouted as she lunged at Spinel baring her blood stained fangs.

#steven universe #spinel steven universe #stevinel #stevnel #fanfic #vampire

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

How do you feel about full length beards? I’m not into a lot of facial hair. I like some scruff, but that’s it. Have you ever been to a circus? Yeah, once. I was naive and didn’t know about the abuse that went on at the time. Do you know anyone who’s gone to a Fat Camp? No. Do you use Facebook IM everyday? No. I don’t even remember the last time I used it. How many surveys have you done already today? This is my first.

What’s the WORST show on Adult Swim? I don’t care for the Adult Swim shows. Family Guy and American Dad is okay, but after that it gets too stupid and weird for me. Sorry. Like once I saw this show, Mr. Pickles, and uh... wtf. The episode I saw was very disturbing. I don’t get the appeal of Rick and Morty at all. And why the hell is Mike Tyson Mysteries a thing? That’s just to name a few. I see previews of other shows and I just... wow. Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? No. Has anyone ever posted a HORRIBLE picture of you for everyone to see? Not maliciously or because they thought it was horrible and wanted to embarrass me, but yeah. My mom has posted photos where she didn’t see anything wrong and she thinks I looked fine, but I was like EW NO take that down it’s hideous. I reallyyyy don’t like photos of me taken by someone else. I have to take my own photos if I’m going to take one at all because I know the angles and lighting and can add a filter. Plus, I can take a ton before finally settling on one. If someone else takes the photo and they want to post it, I have to approve. Which grade in school was the most fun for you? I enjoyed elementary and middle school. High school had its ups and downs, but there were parts I liked. I liked the last 2 years the best. Which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? I wouldn’t want another pet right now to be honest. We have our doggo and one suits our family best right now. Does drama seem to follow you everywhere you go? No, thankfully. I have other issues I struggle with, but not drama. Do you ever just want to go away to a new place where no one knows you? I don’t live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and I was never Miss Popularity, so apart from family and a few other people, not a lot of people know me. However, I do want move away to a new place. My family and I have wanted to for a long time, we just haven’t been able to. A change of environment and scenery would be really nice. You’re ordering a pizza, you can have any kind of toppings, what are they? I’m a simple gal, I just like white sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, garlic, spinach, and crumbled meatballs with pesto drizzled on top. Do you hit ‘quiet’ or ‘ignore’ on your cell? Which one usually? Nah. If my phone rings and I don’t want to answer it, I just let it ring. Do you ever regret giving your number to people? I have before with some people. Have you ever been told that you’re afraid of your own shadow? Haha yeah. Have you ever tried Gouda cheese? Nope. Does/did your high school have pop machines? No. They decided to remove them the year I entered high school, which I was mad about. Do you use a public computer, or do you have your own? I have my own laptop. Do you ever find it odd how you type LOL when you’re not really laughing? >> No, because I understand that its function has moved far beyond representing actual laughing-out-loud. <<< Yeah. I remember discussing that in a class once. Have you ever gambled? A couple times. Not my thing. Although, what really made my experience unenjoyable wasn’t so much the gambling, it was that the casinos I’ve been to allow smoking and I don’t do well with cigarette smoke. At all. It gives me a killer headache, makes my heart rate go up, and makes me feel dizzy and sick. It’s awful. The smell in the casinos was too overbearing for me, so I spent very little time inside. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? I really don’t want to work retail. And that’s not shade toward retail workers AT ALL. I salute you, honestly. You deal with a lot of shit. What’s the shortest you would ever cut your hair? I had a “bob” for a few years. Do you listen to any deathcore? No. Do you subscribe to any teen magazines? Which ones? No. I’m also 30 years old. Do you know someone who never smiles? Never? No. Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable at work? I’ve never had a job. Do you still watch South Park? I never did. I mean, I’ve seen bits here and there before because my brother used to watch it, but I was never into it myself. Tell me one movie you’ve seen recently that sucked: My mom, brother, and I recently watched this movie on Netflix called, The Platform. It had potential and was interesting at first, but the ending was just... no. It seemed abrupt and I was just really confused. Have you ever carved something into a dinner booth somewhere? No. When’s the last time you were carded at a bar? When I last went to the bar, which was almost 10 years ago. Do you smoke little cigars? Have you ever tried them? Nooo. You’re babysitting, what do you expect per hour for pay? Pfft, no I’m not babysitting. What’s the last thing you returned at a store? I very rarely return things so I have no idea. It’s been a long time. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? I don’t even recall the last time I petted a cat. Do you still look at clouds and make shapes of them? I haven’t in a long time. If you had to dye your hair for one year, what color would you pick? I already do, I dye it red. Who’s got your heart? Me. What’s your television addiction? I have several shows that I’m into. Have you ever stringed green beans before? No. What do you do to make yourself more relaxed when you’re nervous? It’s hard to calm myself when I’m anxious, but I try to distract by talking to someone, listening to ASMR, watching TV or something on YouTube, or reading. Do you cook? If so, what’s the last thing you made? The only thing I cook is ramen. Oh wait actually I made a grilled cheese sandwich the other day. ha. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Yeah, a few things. How do you usually spend your Saturdays? I spend all my days and nights the same, really. Do you make your own jewelry or clothing? Last year I briefly got into making beaded bracelets. I made a few. What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re bored? I do the same things everyday whether I’m bored or not: spend time on my social medias, watch YouTube, read, watch TV, scroll through Tumblr, do surveys, just lie there.... ha. Somedays just feel like they’re dragging and going by extra slow and the things I listed above that I like doing just don’t cut it so I just lie there mindlessly watching TV or go to sleep. Do you use drawing to describe what you’re feeling? No. Do you like the smell of new school supplies? As a kid I did. Like getting a new box of crayons. Do you give everything you do 100%? No. I certainly haven’t with life... Do you shop at any independent music stores? No. I don’t shop at any music stores. How do you feel about mainstream music? I like a lot of it.

What song lyrics describe your mood at the moment? *shrug* Do you have healthy eating habits? No. My eating habits are messed up. I have issues with appetite and other issues.

If you could transform into any kind of animal, what animal would you be? A dog. Are you superstitious? If so, what are you superstitious about? I do the knock on wood thing, but it’s just out of habit, really. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be? There’s so many places I’d like to visit. What food disgusts you the most? I don’t do seafood at all. What is your favorite thing to cook? Ramen. One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark? I wouldn’t want to get lost anywhere in the dark. :O Are you claustrophobic? Yes. What is your worst flaw? Oh where to start. One thing that always creeps you out? ALL bugs. What is your biggest fear? Losing loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away... If you could be reincarnated, would you come back as another human or an animal? If an animal, what kind? I don’t believe in reincarnation. Ideal way you’d like to die? Obviously painlessly, but jeez. If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick? I like living with my family. What is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? Uh, a lot of things. Your favorite kind of dog? I love doggos, but I definitely have a special thing for Labs and German Shepherds. Do you have any scars? If so, how many? I have a lot of scars. I’m not going to count them. What is your favorite scary movie to watch in the dark? I don’t watch them in the dark. Unless I’m at the theater, obviously. I love scary movies, though. Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die? Cremated. What is your favorite thing to drink? Alcoholic and non alcoholic? Coffee and Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks. That’s also coffee, but you know what I mean. I don’t have a favorite alcoholic drink, I don’t drink. What is your favorite food around the holidays? I love either ham or turkey depending on the holiday and mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing, and rolls. Easiest way to scare you? I’m such a jumpy, easily scarable (it’s a word, shh) person so you could really just say hi and I’ll jump. haha. Like my back faces my bedroom door and if I don’t hear anyone coming in or they just poke their head in to say something I’ll jump. lmao. Tell me one of your biggest secrets? Nah. What was your last nightmare about? It’s been awhile since I’ve had one, thankfully.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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c0co-cos · 6 years

Text

Blue's Highest Rank

I felt horrible because I wrote someone else a story, but I didn't write @nozapuns-nsfw a story. So i'd like to award this Fan Fic to them. I absolutely love their artwork, and I hope they continue to work of their 'Fractured comic'

I love how listening to a song can completely change my idea for this story. It was first gonna be a full story and all, but throughout downloading music on my phone for a trip im taking, I found a gem.

The gem was "Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me" by IAMX

So basically that's the song you should listen to while reading this.

Summary: Blue Berry was the best of the best. He was quickly going up the ranks to become part of the Royal Guard. That changed when Blue was introduced to Alphys and Undyne.

Tags:

Chapter 1: Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me

Blue Berry was quickly working up the ranks. He started on the lowest of the low. Then he met Alphys, and thank lord he did. He was training with her, Every. Single. Day. He didn't really have any prior interactions with Alphys, but out of luck, they bonded quickly and things got straight to the point.

He had liked his time spent with Alphys, there was never a dull moment, Also he never knew what he was going to do during training. It always changed. It went to dodging attacks one day, to making Tacos in her kitchen the next. There was always something new to learn.

Blue wasn't sure when he met Undyne, but he knew Papyrus was friends with her. Papyrus didn't really get out the house much to hang out with anyone. Only time he went out was when he planned to get black out drunk at Muffets, but other than that, he found Papyrus going to Undyne's lab at random times during the night. He must have had a good reason to get up and go though. It wouldn't have been for nothing.

To Blues surprise, Papyrus actually knew Alphys. They had been friends before Undyne met Alphys. It always amazed Blue how almost everyone knew everyone in the underground.

Id it wasn't for Papyrus, he wouldn't know half the people he knows now. Papyrus was amazing. If it wasnt for him, Blue wouldn't have a room to sleep in nor have supplies to make food, even though Papyrus was mostly a lazy bum, he was Blue's lazy bum brother.

"Hey Alphys! Im here for today's training!" Blue couldn't wait for today's training, Alphys had something new in store, and laster on, Papy was going to come over and view their hard work.

Alphys jumped at the sudden loud voice coming outside her house. She had invited Blue earlier than usual, it wasn't something new shes done, but today she had a reason, and pulling it off wasn't going to be easy.

"Woah Blue, you scared me! Come on in, I gotta prepare the rest of the supplies."

Blue had already let himself in with the Key she leaves under the door mat.

"Wow Alphys, this place looks better and better each time we cook! With that being said, what are we making today? More tacos?"

"No, something better. Lets look at the menu."

Blue grabbed the piece of paper with the big letters on it spelling out 'MENU'. It had also been something Alphys did to tease Blue right before they started cooking. It was always Tacos, but he kept up the running gag, just for the giggles of it.

He unfolded it, revealing what they were going to make today. He eyes shrunk with fear.

"Today were making you.... Alphys this isnt funny you know!"

He saw Alphys out of the corner of his eye, he could see bright yellow magic coming off from her magically formed weapon. She loved using an axe. He quickly moved out the way, also using his bone attack to dodge it. He moved just in time, any second later, he would have been dust.

"Ha, nice Blue! You're getting better and quicker with each attack I throw your way. Sorry about my lil joke there, had to do something to get you distracted."

Blue's heart was pounding out of his chest. He knew at one point furing todays training, this would happen. Alphys said she does this to make him become aware of his surrounding at all times, but it still scared him shitless. Alphys could tell that Blue was very shook.

"Oh gosh, im sorry Blue. I should have done it while we were actually cooking. I won't do it again, I swear, just sit down at the table and ill make you some tea."

Blue dis just that. It was great to know Alphys didn't mean any harm, she never does. It was just a small scare, nothing else right?

"Here your tea Blue, again im sorry I did that. I wrote it for the fuck of it, then the idea came to mind where i can do the daily 'scare blue' skit, but it back fired. I truly am sorry Blue."

"No worries Alph. I know its a joke, I just need to stop being a big cry baby about it. Also thanks for the tea. But it's um.. Kinda sweeter than usual. What happened to 'my soul is black so my coffee and tea have to be the same'?"

"Oh actually its a different type of tea. Undyne gave it to me to try, and right now i can try it. But Blue, lets actually talk about the Guard. You kno--"

Blue couldn't think straight. He felt as if his whole world was spinning. He didn't like it, not one bit. Was it because of how scared he got earlier? Was he having a panic attack? He wouldn't know. He never had one before.

"Hey Alph. Im sorry but i think I got to cut th-this short. Sorry, it was uhh fun?" Blue was breaking a sweat by now. Maybe he was actually having a panic attack? Also what would he do about ? Papyrus wasn't home yet, and the way he was feeling, he wasn't getting home like this.

Blue looked up at Alphys. Her straight face had been completely gone, covered with a huge grin, starting from one side of her face to the other side. Blue was expecting her to look more freaked out like she had been when she had accidentally hurt him during training, but she stood absolutely still, giving Blue a horrid feeling.

"Oh please blue, what's wrong? Here, if you insist on leaving, let me carry you out the door." she said while walking towards his area. Blue was too freaked out by her fake response. It had seemed practiced, meaning she knew something he didn't.

Blue hesitated, backing away slowly from her, before bolting to the door. Even with how he was feeling, he could sense the danger. He didn't even make it anywhere close to the door, falling down after taking a couple of steps towards the direction. He couldn't move, and felt horribly tired.

For good measures, Alphys pinned him to the floor, magical axes surrounding him and the exit, if he planned to leave.

"Alphys? Why? What and why are you d-doing this? I'm sc-scared. Please, if I did anything to hurt you, l-l-let me know. I'll fix it just plea--" Blue had been cut off after he felt Alphys step on his ribcage. It hurt like hell, but he could take it.

"Honestly Sans, I'm sick and tired of you. Im doing this for myself, im just the message man at the point. But other than that, I can't stand you. Did you really think you, out of ALL monsters in the underground, you would be the same rank as me? There are kids, younger than you who have an actual chance of being in the Royal Guard. Sorry blue, you wont get the rank you want. But hopefully, this rank suits you and your lazy ass brother."

By this time, Blue had been trying to pull her leg off his ribcage. She was close to breaking it, and he would rather have a ribcage than none at all.

"OKAY OKAY OKAY G-GET YOUR LEG OFF!" Blue was struggling at this point. She was going to break it. He didn't want to die by getting stepped on, he was going to die in battle protecting everyone in the underground.

Alphys showed mercy, slowly lifting her leg off of his ribcage.

"This is how it's going to work okay Blue? I'm going to knock you out, don't worry, the most that would happen is you get a bruise, and I'll call Papy. You'll find everything out later. Goodnight Blue! Don't let the bed bugs bit."

Alphys couldn't really be doing this... It was a dream. He had to be. She would never harm him. At this point, hopefully Alphys knocking him out will cause him to wake up from this Nightmare.

Alphys came up to Blue, fist closed, ready to come in contact with his skull. It wasn't long before Blue actually knocked out.

Lucky for Alphys, the tea did most of the work, all she had to do was get him asleep. All she had to do now was call Papyrus and get him to teleport over to Undyne's lab.

Talking to people over the phone wasn't the easiest thing to do for her, but hey. She lied to Blue for most of tome they've known each other, so it shouldn't be harder over the phone.

"Pa-Papyrus? Oh thank god! Please come over quick! Its ! H-He fell and hit his head on the table! Come quick!"

Lucky for her, She didn't really have to give much detail regarding where she lived. Sometimes Papyrus would walk Blue home after practice, so he knew the way here. In seconds, a 'pop' noise came from inside her restroom.

"where is blue? oh my gosh... what happened?"

"I- I don't know! We were about to make Tacos, and he fell! Please take us to Undyne's lab, Im certain she knows what to do! S-she'll help!"

Papyrus didn't even have to think twice, he picked blue from off the floor, and teleported right into the lab.

Undyne was no where to been seen, and as the looks of it, so was Alphys. That's strange. Alphys was right next to him as he teleported.

"UNDYNE. NOW." Papyrus heard Alphys scream.He couldn't even turn his head before he passed out from whatever they did to him.

Him and blue were up for it when they woke up.

The story is also on my AO3, at @/sintaley if you would like to read it there :)

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starrbomb · 6 years

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For your langst prompt thing, maybe Lance actually having major depressive disorder and starting to crumble under it. The team starts to notice and confront him. Then as a group they try to help him through it. It's not very original, I know...

honey, it doesnt matter if it’s not very original, its something that you want to see and that is all the reason i ever need to write for you. and as for this prompt, this actually hits quite close to home ( since i myself also have clinical depression and went years without proper treatment) so if you yourself are dealing with this, you aren’t alone darlings.

__________________________________________If anyone ever asked lance when all of it started he could never really pin point it to an exact cause or time in his life.

it’s just always been there.

thinking back on it now, he would say that the excessive amount of anxiety has been with him since first grade. a knot that formed in his stomach and wouldn’t go away, a knot that just seemed to weigh him down and make every movement forward feel like the wrong thing. something in his head telling him that going to school was a bad thing; that something bad was going to happen if he went to school. but when he tried to explain it to his parents, they just told him that it was probbly just a stomachache, that everything was fine.

but that unnamable knot came back every time he got ready to go out somewhere, or whenever he had to do something that he didn’t believe he would succeed in. it always came back and made things seem impossible to do alone; that if he tried something wrong would happen and it would be all his fault.

but he learned how to deal with it; albiet not in the best way, but it was better than being trapped in his own heartrate and short breaths. sometimes he could ignore the feeling, push through it to do mundane things like homework and chores. other times, all he could do to stop an anxiety attack was to just avoid the subject all together.

the depression came into play around high school; making friends was hard and the bullying for his accent and where he came from was even harder, it didnt help that he was pretty much the baby of the family; all of his siblings had already graduated back in cuba so there was no one to keep an eye out for him at school and struggling with both understanding the lessons he was given and the complex language barrier that he still had between himself and everyone else at the school, it all took its toll on him. whenever he came back from school, he woould go straight to his room and collapse on his bed, wishing for sleep to just take him away from all the hateful words and mocking he got from his ‘classmates’ day in and day out. he barely ate, even when it was his mother’s cooking that wafted into his room. he just couldn’t gather the motivation to go out of his room and be apart of the world. not while his bed was so safe and warm and judgement free.

it was after Lance had missed three school days in a row like this that his mother and father had realized just how bad things were for lance. they took him to a psychiatrist to see what was wrong and what they needed to do to get their old Lance back.

and thats when he was diagnosed with major clinical depressive disorder.

his doctors immediately had him start taking anti depressents and anti anxiety medication; switching between this one and that one before they finally found one that worked with him and his body. it was slow going at first, and many times it felt like it wasn’t doing anything at all, but then one day lance was doing his usual chores and realized that it didnt take as much energy as before to do it, he wasn’t wrestling with himself to get things done as much as he used to. he actually felt somewhat…..normal. he felt light.

Lance always made sure to keep some of his AD and AA on him at all times, just in case he had to rush to his classes or accidentally forgot to take them. he didn’t expect to be thrown out into space with just a handful of his medication on him and no one actually knowing about his mental problems. he didn’t expect to be blown up, destroying what little remained of his medications, protecting the one man who could have made him more of them if he had known about them.

but now, here he was in the middle of space with nothing left of his medication, and all he could do was hope that now that he knew what it was like to actually feel happy and carefree and……normal, he wouldn’t be as effected by the sudden stop of his meds. he knew it would take a few days for the medication to completely work out of his system so he took the short amount of time left that he had of feeling normal to make ways for hijm to try and find that normalcy again without the help of his meds.

but soon enough, the dark feelings came back. it was slow at first; taking longer to get ready for training, loosing the energy to go all out during sparring sessions. Lance could tell that the others were picking up on his weird behavior, how he didn’t really contribute to conversations anymore and that he even stopped flirting with the princess. it was as if they were watching their blue paladin slowly die right in front of their eyes; and they had no idea as to why. they all became so worried about their friend that they all met together during one of Lance’s now usual naps.

“ I’m sao worried, what if he’s planning on leaving? what if he just disappears in the middle of the night? what if- what if-” Hunk stammers out, tears threatening to spill as he works himself farther and farther into an anxiety attack. thankfully Pidge takes a hold of his hand and makes him sit down on the sunken couch and does her best to calm him down, “ Hunk, its okay. Lance would never just up and leave us. you know that he still loves us and even if he is acting like this, he cares about us too much to ever just leave……right?” Hunk isnt sure if she was trying to goad him into agreeing or if she was trying to find the answer to calm down her own worries about their friend, but he nods anyways, taking a look back up to his friends as a way of saying that he’s okay.

“maybe it is a bug that has number three acting so out of sorts; like the stomach one that number five got just a few weeks ago!” Coran suggested, getting a few spare chuckles out of Hunk and Shiro. “ while that is a good theory Coran, im not sure that’s what going on with Lance. it doesn’t seem like he’s sick with anything; it’s like the life is being sucked right out of him.” Shiro states, getting a gasp from Allura. all eyes turn to her as she whispers “ What if this is Haggard’s and Zarkon’s doing? what if they are actually draining the life right out of him.” everyone seem to pale at the thought of it, Shiro unconciously gripping the forearm of his artifical limb.

the tense moment is quickly intrupted as Lance runs into the room, sweat staining his undershirt and a terrified look of desperation painting his face.

“Lance?!”

many of the occupants in the room standing as Lance seems to heave a sigh of relief and almost collapses in the doorway, heaving in breath after breath as if he has been running for hours. Thankfully, Coran was close by and caught him from completely falling and helped him slwoly down to the floor, the others immediately rushing to his side.“Lance?”“are you okay?”“what’s wrong?”“are you hurt?”

everyone asking question on top of question at once, not sure what to do to help and yet wanting to do anything to try. once it seemed like lance somewhat caught his breath, he chokes out “sorry- sorry I-” Shiro takes hold of Lance’s hands, getting him to look at him. and Shiro was surprised to see such a sad and scared look in his eyes. “ Lance, you did nothing wrong. you just scared us a little. can you tell us what got you so panicked?” Lance doesn’t seem eager to share, but he manages to squick out “ it’s just me being stupid.” Pidge is the one to speak up this time, squirming her way to being face to face with Lance “ Lance, you aren’t stupid. trust me, I’m the smartest one around and i’m telling you the truth: you. are. not. stupid.” Lance can’t help but let out a breathy chuckle. “ but this part of me is.” Pidge puffs up with irriation and is obviously ready to speak up again, when Lance beats her to it “ i know, i know im not stupid, but this part of my brain makes me think stupid things” lance starts out strong, trying calm down the others, but the more he talks the quieter and timid he becomes, baiting everyone to barely breath so that they can hear every word, “ I thought that it was really quiet and then my anxiety kinda took over and made me start thinking that you all had just left me and that you didn’t care about me and i know that’s stupid; i know that you guys would never do that to me but i couldn’t stop thinking like that and i was getting scared that the stupid voice inside my head was right so i started looking for you guys and i didn’t find you guys anywhere and that just kept feeding my anxiety more and more and that just fueled the depression and i started running everywhere looking for you guys and i’m sorry, I know i’m ranting and stuff but it was just like before back home and i thought i had better control of it but I-” Lance is immediately cut off by Pidge throwing herself into his lap, knocking him out of his spiralling thoughts and back to his surroundings and noticed that all of his friends were on the brink or already crying, he can feel the small wet patch on his undershirt from where Pidge has buried her head into his stomach, clinging to him as if that would be enough to hold him together. man, he really was falling apart at the seams, huh? he thought he had it under control, but instead it caused him to go back into that dark and negative head space all over again.

“lance? do- do you honestly believe that we would-” keith whispers out, not even having enough strength to finish the sentence

“no! no, i know you guys would never abandon me! its just my anxiety and depression making me think stupid things that i know aren’t true and yet it makes things feel like they are. that’s why i said that that part of me is stupid.” Lance stammers out, clutching to Shiro’s hand and Pidge as he explains. “ it’s just been so hard to keep my anxiety and depression under control since i lost my meds.”

“then why didn’t you tell us that you were struggling and needed medinical help? you know we wouldn’t have judged you for needing help.” Keith counters, his sadness and betrayal leeching into his words.

Lance looked down at the ground at the words, knowing that they were true, even if Shiro was getting on Keith for being angery at him because of something that Lance couldn’t control. “i-” he whispers, catching everyone’s attention once again, “ i thought that you guys wouldn’t understand, or that you wouldn’t care. i know that it was just those dark thoughts spreading lies in my head, but they can be really persuasive when they want to be.”

Shiro looks back towards Lance’s hunched over form, unconciously protecting him from the outside world and the ominious what ifs that seem more like mountains to him than the mole hills they truly are.

“Lance….” shiro waits until Lance finally looks up, a look on his face as though he’s bracing for the worst. “ I’m glad that you shared this with us, it must have been really hard to talk about this. im proud of you.”

it was with those words that Lance felt like he was able to take a full breath again. they didn’t hate him for hiding this from them; they weren’t going to leave him. and for the first time in weeks, Lance felt like everything was going to be okay, even if its just for a little bit. and that’s all he could ask for in that moment. everything was going to work itself out.

#langst #voltron #Lance angst #depression #anxiety #did I put in my own experiences in this?#why yes I did #prompt #mental disorder #please if you are taking anti depressants #DONT QUIT THEM COLD TURKEY #Lance #voltron au #platonic paladins

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flyingangelofblueislands · 6 years

Text

Look

GOT7 JB (Im Jaebum)

Genre: fluff

AU/ pov switch-Jaebum’s POV + Your POV

Bias xReader

Synopsis: you’re both just working to get by, life is monotonous- until you get a new store assignment

Jaebum POV

It’s my job to notice people walk in. I’m security. I wasn’t just staring to stare. I have to see the faces of all people walking in and out. I bet she thought so was a creep. Plus! The wind. The wind coming from outside when the door slid open was so strong- it annoyed me a little. I hate that I have to stand up here without a jacket, but that’s how it is.

Your POV

He already looked annoyed by me walking in. I didn’t wanna talk to him at all. He made me feel so uncomfortable. I needed access to the stock room to do inventory audit on their giftcards. That’s all. I wasn’t going there to make his job any harder than it had to be. But he just looked at me. He looked way younger than any security I’d seen at my other stores. At first I thought maybe he was a store associate instead. I needed security or a manager to get in the backroom though. I really didn’t wanna ask him anything, so I was hoping he was neither. I matched his scowling gaze and said good morning first. I couldn’t shake my manners. No matter how I felt in the moment....

“Good morning—are you security?”

“What do you need?”

Ugh. So Rude.

“I’m a vendor. I’m here to do an audit on your gift cards.”

“What gift cards.” He responded as if I was already wasting his time. Like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

Jaebum POV

When she made eye contact with me, my insides flipped over. She was so pretty. I saw her mouth moving but only caught the ends of what she said. So I just responded with automatically responses. People usually walk up to me and straight away say something like : ‘You’re security right? I need some help.’ I assumed she was saying the same, so i asked her what she needed. Then I got lost studying her features. Not to be creepy or anything. It was by habit, really. I try to get to know all the faces of everyone that walks in here. It’s my job.

Then she said something else while I was wondering how someone’s voice could sound so cute this early in the morning. Ironically, I heard her voice in tone only. I didn’t catch what she said once again, all I heard was “Gift cards”. I was caught. I couldn’t tell her I wasn’t hearing her because i was distracted by her voice. That makes no sense out loud. She’d probably run away. I didn’t want that. I suddenly didn’t want her talking to anyone but me, in that moment anyway. So I just said the first thing that popped up on my tongue,

“What gift cards?” Her eyes widened slightly. So slightly one could almost not see it. But I could...I was starting to notice every detail about her...

Your POV

“The third-party gift cards and a few store gift cards. Mastercard, Visa, Lotte, Starbucks...”

“Ohh!” His face finally softened out, “Okay, we’ve been waiting for you all week.”

And? What was he trying to say? I got here as fast as I could... this ain’t my only store, you know. Well, he wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t even care. His forehead ceased between his eyebrows for half a second. I felt a bit anxious and found myself starting to defend myself.

“Yeah we have a lot of stores to cover. I had six to do this week alone...not to mention we have other tasks to do in-store, not just this inventory audit...” I trailed off. Wondering why I was blabbering away about my work woes to this guy. I tucked in my bottom lip. It was dry. I hoped he didn’t notice.

Jaebum POV

Her bottom lip was a bit dry. My eyebrows crinkled thinking of her having to walk store to store in this cold and harsh wind. Then she told me about all the work she had on her. I felt a bit bad about saying we’ve been waiting for her all week. I started thinking that maybe I was wasting her time. Who knew how many more stores she had left to go to. I decided to just take her straight back to the cards.

“Well, the cards are back here and over there on the gift card display but the snacks and greeting cards.” I opened the back door swiftly and proper it open. Motioning to the box on the top shelf.

“There’s the box. Are you okay with ladders?”

“Yes.” She said in a hurry. I was already in her way.

“Okay then.” I left her in the back and went back to my post. For a good thirty seconds I just stared at her out of the corner of my eye, while I pretend to be on my phone. She put her bag down on a lower shelf and began positioning the ladder in a myriad of ways, she climbed up a few steps, tested her reach, climbed back down, fidgeted with its positioning, climbed back up, tested her reach again. I smirked to myself. She obviously did this on her own all the time and didn’t need any help. But I wanted to do at least this for her. So that maybe she’d remember me out of all the people she probably meets in her stores.

Your POV

I thought he couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. So I started working right away to get out of there. As I was fiddling with my positioning to be able to get the large box down safely, I didn’t even realize he had come back into the room. I was coming down off the ladder’s second to last run when I heard someone say,

“I can get the box down for you, if you allow me—“

I yelped. Not excepting to hear anyone. Especially directly behind me. I almost cursed as I lost my footing being surprised and slid down the last two rings, hands grasping the sides of the ladder for dear life. His hands flew up to the sides of me, not touching, but not not touching. Just grazing me. Like guard rails in case I fell over. I was embarrassed and spoke out,

“You scared me! Don’t you know to not surprise people on a ladder?”

“Sorry. I was actually trying to avoid this situation and it happened anyway.”

“What situation?”

“You falling.” He smirked. I couldn’t help but laugh. Only a little bit. I shifted from inbetween his guard rail hands and he quickly put them down. He looked, embarrassed? And for the first time that day. He looked not angry with me. So braved it and I spoke again.

“Well you know what they say. You can’t outrun fate.” I smiled at my light joke, but he didn’t respond. He was already climbing the ladder stairs. I was embarrassed again. He didn’t even hear me. I thought to myself. Why did I try to make a joke! Why do I try making small talk, ever!

Jaebum POV

My heart was pounding in my ears. When she slid down that ladder, I only thought to stop her from falling and hurting herself. It was my fault she slipped anyway. She was just fine until I walked in.

I would’ve caught her, but she caught herself. My head was spinning on that ladder as I climbed up to get the box for her. Her scent was so interesting. Like nothing. But also like fresh wind? I don’t know how to explain it. She just smelled clean. Like it was the scent of her skin. A very unique scent and it was swirling around me. I grabbed the box with one hand and braced it on my shoulder. I looked down to steady my footing and descended carefully. As I stepped down, I realized I wanted to be close to her again. The storage room was too small for me to feel that way. It felt inappropriate. So I handed her the box and slid past her sideways. Quickly.

Your POV

He practically threw the box at me. I would’ve got it myself...

Jaebum POV

She worked quietly behind me. There was a large length of counter behind me. She could’ve worked anywhere. But she chose to stay close to where I was. Then again, my post was close to the storage room. Maybe I was thinking too much into it.

Your POV

The box was so heavy I just set it down on the counter as soon as I exited the storage room. It was right behind him but I didn’t care. We were facing opposite directions and I just needed to count quietly. I wouldn’t need to talk to him again until I said “I’m done. Thanks.” as I signed the vendor log on my way out. I started working immediately. I could feel my back with him behind me. I don’t know how to describe it. Except, maybe, ticklish?

Jaebum POV

I couldn’t bother her while she was working. But I couldn’t help but feel a tugging inside me. I kept walking away from my desk and proactively helping customers locate things, just to be able to walk back to my post and be able to look at her before having to turn back back on her and face forward. I wanted to lean next to her. Help her do her work. Joke with her and ask her what time she got off work...I felt like a creep! So i just kept quiet.

Your POV

He didn’t say anything else to me for the entire time I was doing my audit inventory. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disappointed. My job was a very solitary job. I didn’t get a chance to make many friends and honestly I wasn’t used to that. Usually working in a store prior to this, you have coworkers to joke with, make the day go by faster, party with on off days. All that fun stuff people our age do. But this job. I was just a passerby to these people. A third-party vendor. The regular staff at the stores I was in usually treated me like I was just there to bug them with nonsense questions and requests to put displays up or directions on where something was located or if I could get access to the backroom. It was a nuisance, really. And this store didn’t seem to be any different. I mean well. At least he offered to get the box down after making me fall off the ladder. That was .3 of a point. The bare minimum kindness other stores didn’t even bother to have.

Still, I couldn’t wait to get out of there...

Jaebum POV

As I was circling back to my post for the tenth time, I noticed that she was almost done counting. It had only been an hour! She was finishing way too fast. I still hadn’t even thought of what to say to her. I peeked at the vendor log, still open on the page she signed in and saw her name. I decided to say whatever came to mind.

“Y/n?”

She whipped around shocked.

“Yes?”

Your POV

I was shocked hearing him call out my name. Then I remembered I was wearing a name badge and maybe he saw it earlier while he was staring...

“Yes?” I answered back, and he walked over and leaned on the counter on the other side of the box.

“So this looks fun.” He said sarcastically. I smiled because I didn’t know how to respond. I busied myself counting more cards. A few awkward moments of silence passed, and then he spoke again,

“So, um....when you’re done just call me over and I’ll put the box back. My name’s Jaebum.”

“Okay....thanks.” I peeked at him. He cast his eyes away and moved back to his post.

“That’s it?”

Jaebum’s POV

I couldn’t think of what else to say to her...She was working. So she wasn’t even going to look at me long enough to get her full attention.

I just wished i could’ve thought of something to say to her to make her see me. I don’t even know why....

****************************************************

Hey my Marshmallows!!!

How you doing?! I wrote this entire thing on my phone so I don’t have a word count for you like usual. But yeah. This ine’s for Got7’s JB because I caught Got7’s stage on Wednesday and I was in love (with Junior actually lol) all over again. hahahah ahh. anyway. I hoped you enjoyed this situation. Should I make it continue? Or should I leave it as is? Let me know.

Also. What do y’all think of their new song?? I like it a lot. I didn’t at first, but for some reason the stage is what really drew me in and made me like the song.

K byeeee!!

Love, Peace, and quick Fluff reads!

~ Admin Fluffintine

19 notes · View notes

gracetrack-higgins · 6 years

Text

Secrets

welcome to my super angsty Sprace fic! it’s posted on Ao3 but I figured I’d put it here too! it’s pretty long (5k+ words!) and very angsty. I’ll put any warnings in the tags :)

You know Spot Conlon, right? I heard he’ll soak anyone who ain’t Brooklyn.

I heard he killed a gangsta’ who was botherin’ his Newsies.

I heard he got inta a fight wit’ a kid from the Bronx so bad the kid was laid up inna hospital for a month.

I’s heard he ain’t even real. Brooklyn kids made ‘im up so’s they look nice an’ tough.

Nah, he’s real. I saw ‘im on the Bridge one time, yellin’ at a scab or sommit.

Nuh-uh!

Yeah-huh!

I heard’s he’s a better pape’s sella’ than Jack.

Betta’ than anya us.

I heard he jumped inta the river to save a drownin’ kid!

That ain’t true!

I still don’t think he’s real.

Racetrack Higgins smirked to himself a little as he listened to the younger Newsies’ whispered speculations about the leader of the Brooklyn Newsies. At one time, Race probably would’ve believed the tall tales surrounding Spot. If he didn’t know him, that is. Race thought it rather funny how many stories there were about Spot, ones that any kid would believe. Only two of ‘em were true so far.

Race glanced at the little Newsies huddled around an overturned crate that the boys used as a table in the Lodging House. They were playing cards, a watered down version of blackjack that Race had taught all the kids how to play on their days off. How he got stuck babysittin’ he’d never know, but here he was, 17 year old Racetrack, watchin’ a gaggle of little Newsies. The youngest of ‘em wasn’t older than 6.

“Mr. Racer!” the littlest Newsie piped up, his missing front teeth giving his smile a big gap as he grinned, “Do you know ‘bout Spot Conlon?”

Race smirked. “Sure I’s do.”

The little Newsies all gasped, edging closer to where Race sat on the beat up sofa in the common room of the boy’s floor in the lodging house.

“Really?” Another boy asked, “Have ya ever met ‘im?”

Race grinned. “Maybe.”

Gasps.

“An’ ya didn’t get soaked???”

“Nah.” he shrugged. “Me an’ Spot, we’s pals.”

“You’s lyin’,” A rather skeptical eight year old replied simply. “You’s just sayin’.”

Race looked offended. “Lyin’?? Me an’ Spot’s best friends! I sell in Brooklyn twice a week wit’ ‘im.”

Tiny Newsie jaws dropped.

“No way!”

Race took the cigar out of his mouth as he leaned forward and smiled at the boys. “Yes way.”

“You ain’t Brooklyn, though’s! Ya’s from Manhattan. Ain’tcha?”

Race nodded, “Sure am. We’s got a spec’al arrangement, is all.”

“What’s the ‘rangement, Mr. Racer?” the youngest boy asked, eyes wide.

“I ain’t givin’ away all my secrets,” Race smirked, “Just know that as long’s I’m ‘round, you kiddos ain’t gotta be too scared’a ol’ Spot Conlon.”

“You ain’t scared’a ‘im??” another boy asked and Race shook his head.

“Nah.” Race put the cigar back in his mouth.

The little boys minds buzzed with new theories and just a little bit of fear toward Race, who was apparently best pals with the scariest, toughest Newsie in all’a New York.

Race tossed a little cloth bag with coins in it at his best friend, silly grin on his face.

“Luck’s changin’, Spotty!” Race said excitedly, “There’s ya cut.”

Spot raised a brow and opened the little bag. “Woah. How many races ya win?”

“FOUR.” Race grinned, “Can ya believe it?? I could feel somethin’ in the air today. Somethin’ lucky.”

Spot snorted, starting up the stairs of the Brooklyn lodging house, Race following. “So how mucha that’s goin’ to settle ya debts from last week, eh?”

“‘Bout half. But that means I’s got plenty for next week’s bettin’!”

“Or ya could, I dunno. Save some? Get a hot meal? Some new clothes ‘o somethin’.” Spot suggested.

Race snorted. “I don’ need that. Just wait Spotty, one’a these days I’ll hit the jackpot an’ you an’ me, we’ll be set for life.”

Spot smirked a little. “You an’ me, eh?”

Race met his eyes. “Yeah.”

Spot nodded proudly. “Yeah.”

Race followed Spot through the familiar Brooklyn lodging house. He nodded in greeting to Hotshot, Bruises and Joey where they sat around a card table, reading headlines and eating something before heading out to sell the evening edition. Race knew the Brooklyn house about as well as he knew Manhattan’s. All the other Newsies knew him by name, he was welcomed in without a second thought, and everyone, everyone, in Brooklyn knew that if you messed with Racetrack Higgins, it meant you were messing directly with Spot Conlon. No one questioned that.

Race patiently waited as Spot checked in on the younger kids in his lodge, making sure they didn’t get into any trouble on the streets today, and as he checked on one of his kids who stayed in from selling due to a head-cold. For all the tall tales of how terrifying Spot Conlon was, Race was one of the few people other than the Brooklyn kids who saw Spot’s softer side. He was a protector, through and through. He’d protect those kids with his life, and Race found it incredibly endearing.

“Poor kiddo,” Spot muttered as he climbed the ladder to his room, a small but cozy attic space that he’d claimed when he took charge of the Brooklyn Newsies. Race followed him.

“Twigs is still sick?” Race asked. Poor kid was already tiny, hence his nickname, no wonder a head-cold put him out of commission for the day.

“Yeah.” Spot frowned. “Might have to dip inta’ them winnin’s an’ get that kid some tonic.”

Race shrugged. “Ain’t gotta slush-fund for that? Them’s your winnin’s.”

Spot glanced at the bag of coins in his hand, tossing it onto his bed. “We do, but I don’ mind helpin’ the lil kid out. He ain’t got no one else. None’a them do.”

Race nodded in understanding. “You’s a nice guy, Spotty.” he said with a smile, “I’ll neva’ understand how kids’ is scared ‘a you.”

Spot puffed his chest. “‘Cuz I’m scary.”

“No you ain’t,” Race said, sliding a hand over Spot’s muscled shoulder and resting his chin on top of Spot’s head. “You’s a sweetheart.”

Spot snorted and pushed Race off him, “Shuddap.”

Race smirked, flopping dramatically onto Spot’s bed, reaching out for Spot to join him.

Spot did, sitting down next to Race, letting him play with his hand.

“You oughta get back to Manhattan ‘fore the sun goes down,” Spot mentioned as the sunset shone through his window and gave the attic an orange tint. “‘s Gettin’ late.”

Race nodded. “I’d rather stay here wit’ you.”

“You an’ I both know you ain’t suppos’d ta.”

Race shrugged, resting his head on Spot’s strong shoulder.

“Yeah well,” he gave him a secret grin. “We both knows we do things we ain’t suppos’d ta.”

Spot laughed lightly. “Yeah.” he glanced around his room, the only place in all of Brooklyn where he was allowed to relax. It was an off limits area. None of the other Newsies were allowed anywhere near his room, let alone inside. There were only a handful of people who’d ever seen Spot’s room, and only one who’d ever been allowed repeat visits. Race knew it was a very high honor.

“Only in ‘ere though.”

Race nodded, almost sadly. Spot had a funny way of making him happy no matter what. He loved annoyin’ him, playin’ pranks, makin’ jokes, sharin’ stories, and sellin’ papes with him. But he loved lots of other things about Spot too. Like that he cared so much about his Newsies. That he took such good care of his friends. Little things too, like that he was allergic to pollen in the springtime. That he loved to read. That he loved animals. That he stood up for the little guy time and time again.

Race was really proud to be Spot’s friend.

And sometimes, when they were alone, more than his friend. Race traced one finger across Spot’s bicep, tracing over the faded scar on his shoulder and connecting the dots of his freckles.

“Yeah,” Race agreed, “Only in ‘ere.” He sighed, still lazily tracing Spot’s freckles. “Why do ya think I don’t wanna leave?”

Spot smirked a little, allowing himself a moment of softness to rest his cheek against Race’s head.

“‘Cuz you’s a sap.” Spot teased. “You oughta go back to Manhattan ‘fore I soak ya.”

Race grinned, his nose crinkling. “Then ya’s gonna miss me.”

Spot grinned back. “Only a lil bit.”

“Til I’m back in Brooklyn ta bug ya on Friday.”

“Too long.” Spot said, sliding his hand into Race’s gently.

“Now who’sa sap?” Race snickered, but laces his fingers through Spot’s, squeezing gently.

Spot squeezed back. “Still you.”

“Nahhh.” Race pecked a very careful kiss to Spot’s temple, just barely brushing his lips against his hairline.

Spot turned to face him, their eyes meeting and fighting unspoken feelings and buried fears. Their faces grew closer, Race’s forehead resting against Spot’s. Race smelled like newsprint and tobacco, two scents that Spot now associated with comfort and safety. He closed his eyes, relaxing, only opening them when Race parted their heads.

“You’s prob’ly right though,” he said softly, “I oughta go back ta Manhattan.”

Spot tried not to look disappointed and nodded. “Yeah.”

Race gave him a smile, squeezing his hand. “See you’s Friday?”

“Friday.” Spot gave Race’s hand one more squeeze before letting him go. Race took the cigar from his shirt’s pocket and stuck it in his mouth, giving Spot a smile before he started down the ladder to take him downstairs.

Spot sighed as the door to his attic closed behind Race and he flopped down against the creaky mattress of his bed. He hated this. He hated the way that Race made him feel, so safe and terrified at the same time. Spot Conlon wasn't really afraid of anyone or anything, but getting hurt by Race, or worse, Race getting hurt by him, was at the top of the list of his fears.

Sneaking around wasn't smart, and both of them knew it. Lying wasn't smart either. Especially when they were lying to each other. All the late nights and drunken kisses in the world wouldn't get either boy to admit they had feelings for one another, at least not out loud. Spot hoped that it was clear how he felt, and that their quiet moments and his careful signs of affection were enough for Race to know how much he meant to him.

They couldn't talk about it, not explicitly. They both knew that they couldn't be together, not truly, not anything more than the friends they already were. And if they talked about it, if Spot ever told Race how he felt; how his heart fluttered every time they touched, how his lips burned for hours after every time they’d kissed, how he'd stay up late thinking about him and them and their lives and their futures, Spot knew he'd be done for. If he talked about it, it'd be real. If they discussed it, they'd both realize they had no future, at least not one together.

Spot was afraid that when they faced their fate head on, the secrets in Spot’s bedroom would go away. And then Race would stop sellin’ in Brooklyn. And soon he'd stop going to Sheepshead. And Spot would be alone.

Spot sat up and looked out the window from the top of the Lodging house just in time to see Race waving his goodbyes to the other Brooklyn newsies as he started his trek back over the bridge. Before he left he looked up to Spot’s bedroom window, waving a little goodbye.

Spot didn't think Race could see it, but he waved back.

Race turned and walked back over the bridge all alone.

Spot sat back down on his bed, all alone.

Friday was a rainy day in New York City. It was summer, so the rain was expected, but dreaded. Rainy days were always slow sellin’ days. No one wanted to stop too long to buy papes when it’d just get soaked in a few minutes anyways. Newsies typically hid under awnings or building entrances to sell what they could, but usually gave up and went back home before the weather got too nasty. There’d be a new headline and more papes to sell tomorrow, when the sun was (hopefully) shining.

Friday was Race’s day to sell with Spot in Brooklyn. And even though it was already raining when he’d left that morning, he still made the long trek over the bridge and showed up at Brooklyn’s Newsie hub in time. He and Spot sold the few papes they’d bought, they were veterans at selling in bad weather, and then retired to the Brooklyn Lodging house for the rest of the afternoon. They spent the rest of the day playing cards and checkers and taking turns keeping the peace, as there were too many young newsies hanging around in boredom.

It was getting late and the weather was worsening. Race was deeply involved in a game of blackjack between a handful of the older Brooklyn newsies, determined to win for the third game in a row. Spot had been checking on the kids, making sure no one was doing anything stupid, and that the younger ones had all eaten, before he joined in on the card game.

“Ay,” Hotshot asked, “What time is it? Shouldn’t this crook be headin’ back ta Manhattan?” Hotshot elbowed Race, who snorted.

“You’s just bitter cuz I wiped ya pockets for the third time tonight.” Race teased. He looked to Spot, who glanced up from his cards.

“It is pretty late,” he admitted, “But the weather’s awful. You wanna just stay the night, Racer?”

Race raised a brow. “I really oughta go back, Jack’ll be worried sick.”

“Psshh,” Spot waved a hand. “Kelly’ll be fine a single night without ya. You don’t wanna get pneumonia or nothin’, do ya?”

Race shrugged. “I ain’t gonna get sick,” Race said simply, setting down another card. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

“You’s gonna get a different kinda soaked if ya try an’ cross the bridge in this storm.” Spot told him. Thunder crashed outside and Spot was the only one who saw Race flinch at the loud sound. He narrowed his eyes a little bit.

“You’s stayin’.” Spot said firmly, making it clear there was no room for argument.

“You want us ta make room for ‘im?” Hotshot asked, “We can kick ol’ Bruises ta the floor for the night.”

“Hey!” Bruises protested, punching Hotshot in the arm.

“Nah,” Spot brushed them off. He didn’t look up from his cards. “He’ll bunk wit’ me.”

Race felt his chest growing warm with pride.

“Whateva’ you says, boss.” Hotshot said, going back to the game. No one said anything else about it.

After their game, which Race won easily, Spot made his final nightly rounds throughout the busy lodging house. He checked on the younger kids, making sure they were going to sleep and weren’t getting into mischief. He made sure that Twigs, the little newsie who was still fighting off a cold, had enough blankets and had eaten something that evening.

Race followed Spot on his rounds, admiring how gentle but firm Spot was with the younger kids. He seemed way older than his 18 years as he cared for the kids, lifting them into their bunks and gently assuring them that they’d be back to selling papes in the morning. Race tried not to smile as he watched Spot checking Twigs’ temperature with the back of his hand, putting another ratty blanket over the little boy’s shivering form. Race also noticed that Spot had bought tonic for him, and it was sitting next to the cot the little kid was curled up on.

“He’ll be okay,” Spot said as he left the younger kids’ room, “He’s a tough little kid.”

Race had a feeling that Spot was saying it for his own benefit than anyone else’s.

Spot sighed as he closed the door to his room as Race climbed up after him, turning on the small gas-lamp in the corner so they could see.

“He’s gonna be fine, Spotty,” Race tried to encourage, “Don’t worry. You got him some tonic an’ everythin’. I’m sure he’ll beat it.”

“Yeah.” Spot said, taking off his newsie cap and tossing it onto an overturned crate. “Yeah. He’ll be fine.”

Race took his cap off too, tossing it next to Spot’s before he sat down on Spot’s bunk.

“You’s sure ‘bout me stayin’ the night?” Race asked, and Spot nodded.

“Yeah. I’d rather know you’s safe an’ dry, here. ‘Stead’a bein’ wet an’ catchin’ cold in Manhattan.” Spot said simply, sitting down next to Race on the bed. “Got it?”

“Got it.” Race nodded. Lightning crackled across the sky and thunder echoed so loud that it made the attic walls quake a little. Race jumped at the sound, groaning a little in embarrassment. Spot looked him over curiously.

“You okay, Race?”

“Mmhm.” Race avoided Spot’s eyes.

“No you ain’t.” he frowned. “You don’t like the storms?”

“Nah.” Race shrugged. “It’s dumb. Don’ worry ‘bout it.” He tugged off his over shirt and pulled off the suspenders he wore so he was in his pants and undershirt. “Can we go to bed now?”

Spot nodded, taking off his suspenders and shirt as well. He turned off the lamp so the room was lit only by the lightning cracks and faded moonlight through the rolling dark clouds. Spot climbed into the bed, which was probably too small for both of them, but they didn’t care, immediately getting comfortable next to one another. There wasn’t any awkwardness. Both boys were used to sharing their bed, and neither of them could think of anyone they’d rather share with than each other. They each respectfully maintained a small amount of distance between them, but Race’s hand reached carefully for Spot’s as another loud crash of thunder made his skin crawl. Spot gently took his hand.

Race gave him a smile in the dark, but Spot’s eyes had already adjusted so he could see the little grin.

“Tell me a secret,” Race whispered.

Spot smirked. He’d joked once that Race was the only one who knew his secrets, and now Race held that title very proudly, but privately.

“Like what?” Spot asked flatly. He noticed in the back of his head that his hand was still holding Race’s, and Race squeezed tight when another crash of thunder echoed outside.

“Anythin’. Tell me why ya didn’t let me go back to Manhattan tonight.” Race’s voice was tight, and Spot could tell he was trying to distract himself. He opted for honesty to answer Race’s question.

“You’d get sick.”

“You don’ know that. I’s got great health.”

“People what get soakin’ wet an’ don’t own enough clothes ta get dry is only gonna get sick. I...I’s seen it lotsa times.”

“You’s gotten sick from a rainstorm?” Race asked, and Spot shook his head a little.

“Nah.” his voice was quiet. “A kid in the house did, few years back.” Spot hesitated, deciding whether or not he wanted to finish. “He was little, like Twigs is. He got pneumonia real bad, an’ by the time I got ‘im to a nurse, it was too late for ‘im.”

“Oh.” Race said softly, feeling his chest ache with sorrow. “I...I’m sorry, Spotty. I didn’t realize. I wasn’t meanin’ ta joke ‘bout it.”

Spot shook his head. “It’s fine. I just know I ain’t gonna let no more kids get sick if I can help it.” he said simply. “Ain’t worth it.”

“You’s right. It ain’t.”

They were quiet again, another crash of thunder making the walls shake. Race jumped again, letting out a shaky sigh.

“That an’ I’d miss ya.” Spot said lightly, and Race gave him a little smile. He was grateful to Spot for trying to distract him.

“You’d miss me?” Race teased, and Spot snorted.

“‘Course, dumbass.”

“Why’s that?” Race asked, his tone light but intent serious.

“Tuesday’s a long way from now. ‘Sides, we’s pals.”

“Pals.” Race said softly, nodding. He subconsciously let go of Spot’s hand, but Spot grabbed it back.

“Yeah.” he held Race’s hand tight in his.

Spot wanted to elaborate. He really did. But he wasn’t even sure what this was. What they were. They were pape-sellin’-partners, and best friends, but past that? Spot had no idea. He didn’t think boyfriends was the right word for it. He didn’t think there was a right word for it. Especially when nothing about it was right.

“Your turn,” Spot said, changing the subject. “Tell me a secret.”

“I ain’t got any secrets,” Race said lightly.

“Sure ya do.”

“You know pretty much all’a ‘em.” Race admitted. He was a pretty open book when he found people he trusted, and he trusted Spot more than anyone else he’d ever met. He loved times like this, when it was just them, and nothin’ else. He loved learning new things about his best friend. He loved knowing things about him that no one else did.

“So why’s you scared’a thunder?” Spot asked, catching Race a little off guard.

“I don’t like storms.” Race said quickly. He sighed a little. “I hate ‘em,” Race said softly, “They’s so loud. I just wanna sleep but they’s loud, so’s I can’t.”

“Guess they is pretty loud,” Spot admitted. “I didn’t realize it bothered ya.”

Race shrugged a little. “Neva’ liked ‘em.” he admitted. “Bad mem’ries.”

“Yeah?” Spot wanted to know what sort of memories could be attached to rain, but he didn’t want to make Race uncomfortable so he didn’t push it.

“Yeah.”

The room lit up around them with a lightning strike that was too close for Race to be comfortable and when the crack exploded into the loudest thunder crash yet, Race practically lept from the bed. He cursed under his breath, angry at himself for being upset, and even angrier at the memories of lightning, smoke and flames that filled his head and refused to leave. The same memories that woke him up when fire sirens blared all night long in the city. The same memories that plagued him every single thunderstorm filled summer since he was a kid.

“Hey, it’s okay Racer, it’ll pass.” Spot offered, but Race paced back and forth across the room, trying to calm down.

“‘S so dumb.” he muttered under his breath.

Spot stood and took Race by the hands, leading him back to the bed. They sat next to each other, Race’s shaking hands still in Spot’s strong ones.

“Whadda ya do in Manhattan when it’s stormin’?” Spot asked.

“Dunno. Try ta sleep, walk ‘round an’ try not to wake up the boys, hide ‘til it’s done. I can’t smoke inside, so I don’t get ta calm down as much as I wanna.” he frowned, leaning his face into Spot’s shoulder. “‘m sorry. ‘S stupid.”

“No it ain’t.” Spot assured him. He put one hand gently on Race’s back. “Whadda ya want me to do? How can I’s help?”

Race leaned into Spot closer as another flash of lightning lit up the room. Spot’s strong arm held Race tight.

“I’s fine,” Race told him after a moment. “Being with you’s already helpin’.”

“It is?”

“Yeah. I know you’s got my back. I’m safe.”

Spot smiled a little, leaning into Race comfortably.

“I don’t think no one feels too safe ‘round me.” Spot admitted quietly. “I’s got a reputat’on, ya know.”

Race smiled, feeling his fears slowly fading the longer Spot held onto him.

“Well, I know I’m safe.” Race told him, “Ain’t a doubt in my mind you’s lookin’ out for me.”

Spot wasn’t thinking as he pressed a very small kiss to Race’s forehead.

“You know I is.”

Race left the Brooklyn lodging house early that morning, before the sun was even up. The storm was long gone, only puddles remained as a memory of the pounding rain and cracking lightning from the night before. Race wished his heart didn’t ache every time he made the walk over the bridge to go back into Lower Manhattan. He wished he didn’t feel the way he did. He also didn’t regret it. He held the secrets and reassurances from that night with him, hiding them in his heart for later as he started to walk back.

When Spot woke up just as the sun began to rise, he instantly noticed that Race was gone. For a second he wondered if he’d dreamt the whole thing, but he quickly noticed that where their hats had been sitting last night on the overturned crate next to his bed, a cigar remained instead. Spot picked it up, letting himself smile a little before he pulled on his shirt and suspenders and got ready to start the day.

Race reached the Manhattan Lodging house just as the sun was coming up. He opened the door and started up the stairs, searching his pocket for his key when the door opened and Jack Kelly bumped directly into him.

“Racer!” Jack exclaimed, “For the love of Pete, where were ya??” Jack hit Race with his hat, slinging an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a hug.

“Geez Mom, good mornin’ to ya too.” Race teased. “Stayed the night in Brooklyn ‘cuz ‘a the storm.”

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “You’s okay? Storm was pretty bad.” Other than Spot, Jack was the only person who knew how Race felt during thunderstorms. He’d been worried about him all night as he listened to the thunder rolling and rain pelting the city.

“I’m fine,” Race assured him. “But starvin’. We got any food?”

“Yeah, sure.” Jack pulled Race through the door. “Come on.”

Race was greeted by the other boys the second he walked through the door, immediately peppered with whoops, hollers and questions.

“Where were ya??” Albert asked, “You had Jackie all worried ‘bout ya.”

“Poor Mom didn’t know what to do with ya lost in Brooklyn.” Romeo teased, elbowing Jack, who rolled his eyes.

“We was ready ta send out the search party!” Elmer added.

The littler Newsies chased one another around the small kitchen until Albert shouted for them to scram. A few lingered though, surprised to see Race.

“Where’d ya go Mr. Racer?” one of the younger Newsies asked. Race snorted.

“Got caught in the rain, so I’s stayed in Brooklyn for the night.” He explained simply.

“An’ ya didn’t get soaked by them Brooklyn boys?” A kid asked, and Race laughed.

“‘Course not.”

“Where’d ya stay?” Crutchie asked, handing Race a plate with toast and half an apple on it.

“Thanks,” Race said as he started to eat. “Stayed at the Brooklyn boys’ lodgin’ house. It’s nicer ‘n ours is.” he joked, mouth full.

“You stayed there?” one of the younger kids asked.

“Yep.”

“Spot Conlon let you stay with his boys?” Another little kid asked, wide eyed.

Race flicked a piece of his crust at the kid, hitting him in the forehead. “Yeah, he did. No big thing.”

“Wow.” the kid gaped. “Why didn’t he beat ya up??” he asked.

“‘Cuz we’s friends.” Race said simply.

The kid turned to his friend next to him. “So why’d you beat me up?” he asked, poking at his own healing black eye.

“Cuz you’s a dummy!!” his friend shouted, and the two lightly brawled until Jack kicked them out of the kitchen.

“Enough, ya knuckleheads.” he shook his head. “Go get yerselves lookin’ presentable or no one’ll wanna buy from ya today.”

The boys obeyed and ran up the stairs, leaving the older boys in the kitchen.

“You really stayed with Spot last night?” Elmer asked, a little surprised.

Race bit into his apple half. “Yeah, what of it?”

“Just curious.” Elmer said, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

“He ain’t the friendliest kid in the city,” Crutchie said, and Race gave him a grin.

“He’s friendly ta me.”

“You’s lucky.” Albert commented. “He’d prob’ly soak any’a us on sight for invadin’ his territory.”

Race snorted. “Nah, he ain’t so bad.”

“Sure he is.” Elmer said, “You’s heard the stories, ain’t ya?”

“Sure,” Race shrugged, “But that don’t mean they’s true.”

Jack didn’t comment, watching Race carefully. He’d been worried sick about his friend, knowing just how he felt when bad lightning storms hit, and was ready to go out in the middle of the storm to find him until Crutchie stopped him from doin’ anything dumb. He was relieved that Race was okay, and more relieved that he was indoors and not hidin’ out under the bridge or nothin’. But now Jack was curious. Race had been spending more and more time in Brooklyn lately, a lot more than his occasional excursion to the Sheepshead Races he’d take after a particularly good headline dropped and filled his pockets with extra cash. Jack had never commented on it, a little wary of questioning anything Spot Conlon did, even if it included friendship with one of his boys. Jack wouldn’t necessarily consider Spot a friend, more of a reluctant ally. He came through for them during the strike last year, and now he an’ Race were friends, which meant Manhattan an’ Brooklyn stayed allies. But that didn’t mean Jack wasn’t skeptical of Spot and his intentions with his friend.

“Alright ya slackers,” Jack interrupted, brushing Race off his perch on the kitchen counter, “Let’s get to work. Ya can bug Race ‘bout Brooklyn later.”

Race smirked and finished his apple half in one more bite, spitting the seeds onto his plate and putting it in the getting-rather-full sink.

“Let’s hope we’s got a good headline today,” Race commented as he followed Jack from the kitchen to round up the boys and head to Newsies Square. Jack fell back to walk with Race on the way over to the square.

“Ay, you sure you’s aight Racer?” he asked gently and Race gave him a toothy grin through the cigar between his teeth.

“‘Course I am, Jackie. Why?”

Jack gave him a look. They both knew why.

“I mean it,” Race insisted. “I’m a’ight. Spot was real nice to let me stay wit’ ‘im last night. I even was able to sleep.”

“Ya were?” Jack was impressed.

“Yeah.” the corners of Race’s lips were tempted to tug into a smile but he forced his expression to remain neutral. “I was.”

Jack watched him curiously. “Good.” he said, “I’m glad Spot was nice to ‘ya.” he chose his words carefully, observing Race’s reaction.

This time Race couldn’t hide his little smile. Jack tried to place where he’d seen the look in Race’s eyes before and it took him a minute to figure it out. The way Race’s eyes lit up when he talked about Spot Conlon was the exact same way Katherine’s eyes lit up when he brought her flowers at work last week. It was the same look she gave him when he made her dinner at her apartment, and the same look he was sure he gave her when she’d show him her articles to read before anyone else did, or got excited about his latest drawings.

Love.

Racetrack nodded. “Yeah, me too. He’s a good pal.” he fought the little smile away.

Jack wasn’t sure how anyone could feel anything other than respect and healthy fear for Spot Conlon, but he was pretty sure that whatever Race was feeling, it was more than that. Jack took a second to process that, wondering if he was jumping to conclusions or if he was right. He knew Race pretty well, and he could tell how much happier he was after spending the day in Brooklyn. Jack’s stomach hurt with a pang of sadness, knowing that as happy as Spot seemed to make him, he and Race could never really do anything about it. Race’s life was hard enough as it was, this would only make it harder. Spot Conlon was a dangerous kid, but being in love with him was far more dangerous. Especially Race being in love with him. Jack tried to push the thoughts away. He couldn’t protect Race from this, but he’d be there for him if he got hurt.

“I’m glad he’s your pal,” Jack settled on saying, and Race nodded.

“Yeah.” he looked down at his boots as they walked.

That’s all he’ll ever be.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12941445 ao3 link :)

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puffitloudah · 6 years

Note

Since you also reblogged the thingy, you're gonna do all the ODDS

1. what is your favourite plant?

I’d say my favorite plant is probablyyyy...cacti. Or maybe useful plants (like the ones you put next to your veggies to scare off the bugs). Really, anything that looks cute but can kill shit LOL

3. name three artists ( musical or art ) that have inspired youor impacted you.

Oh man, okay. Right off the top of my head: Tablo, Linkin Park, and Miyazaki. Totally random group of people, but a lot of my childhood was built around these three lol.

5. talk about your crush or someone you love.God this a mess LOL. Well, he’s pretty sassy and yet often shows that he really cares about me. This could be SOOO many people.

7. write a short story or poem about what your favourite seasonfeels like to you.Uh...ok. -AHEM-Walking. Brisk Air.

Nostalgia.

Silence. So cold.

Sigh.

Windy. Scarf.

Push on. I’m trying to describe what winter feels like to me. I love taking walks by myself in suburbia during the winter time. Everything is so quiet and yet it feels familiar. I TRIED OKAY LOL DON’T JUDGE.

9. do you enjoy reptiles as pets? why or why not?

Uhh, I personally would rather not because of their diet...I hate bugs. I really can’t have reptiles cause that requires me to give them bugs....EUGH. lol

11. do you prefer the beach or the mountains?Good question. I think I like lakes instead, so if the beach consists of a lake I am so down. Otherwise, I like mountains.

13. do you like long hair or short hair?

I had long hair, but I just cut it so it’s about a medium length now. It’s just easier to manage this way, and I had some split ends but those are gone now too hoho.

15. what is the dreamiest/most surreal thing that has everhappened to you?

Probably living through an earthquake? That entire China trip was surreal to me. There’s also moments in my life where I’m just like wow...how did that happen...

17. what is your favourite breed of cat?

Uhhhhhhh.....I don’t think I have one. OH NOPE I GOT IT, those gray cats with the yellow eyes, Chartreux. They have a sort of chubby look, it’s so cute. I love my cat Mackerel too though. His coat has both stripes and dots, so he really looks like a mackerel!

19. what is your favourite thing right now?

Favorite thing I would say would be food probably. LOL. That’s pretty bad...

21. what is the best dream you've ever had?

Probably the one where I saw my dad again. This is about to get a little depressing so you can just skip if you don’t want to read.My dad passed away in a car accident and I had spent my time thinking that he wasn’t able to rest in peace, and that I wasn’t ready to move on in life without him. He was with me in the car, I was calling my mom to tell her that we were on the way home and to get my sister so we could head out to lunch. He was driving and telling me stories like always, and asking me about school. I told him the projects I was on, and we pulled into the driveway, but my sister and my mom weren’t there. Dad told me that we would meet them there, and he started driving to the church my sister always went to. That church also happens to be the church that his funeral procession was held at. We got there and went inside the chapel to find them. My dad was holding my hand and walking me through the hundreds of people there. They were all standing and singing a hymn so it was hard to see. My dad let go of my hand and started singing the hymn, and gestured for me to do the same. I sang with him and then afterwards he told me to try to see from the front. I squeezed by the people and pushed my way to the front, only to see that the picture of the person that passed was my dad. I spun around and looked for him, and I couldn’t find him anywhere. I remember desperately shoving people aside, grabbing each person only to see that he was gone. I remember waking up, screaming for him to the point where my mom ran into my room and saw me sobbing on the ground.He was with me in that dream, and he reminded me that he would be with me forever. He left me there in that church, surrounded by people who loved him. I think that was what I needed, it was when I was finally able to move forward from his death.ANYWAYS depressing stuff OVER

23. what is your favourite article of clothing?

Black leggings. I would basically be wearing dresses forever if I didn’t have those LOL.

25. what is your dream vacation?

Going somewhere with the people I care about. If there’s a place to swim, that’s a plus.

27. if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

To know what people are thinking. To be honest though, if I did have that I would probably become a hermit because I would just see things that I didn’t want to know.

29. do you know how beautiful you are?

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

31. what is your favourite cold drink?Bubble tea

33. what has been the highlight of your week?

I was able to teach someone who has been in the company way longer some things, and talk to them as equals. It felt nice to be accepted, since I’m moving positions and my current boss likes to remind me that I’m not part of the team anymore. no im not bitter at all why would you say that

35. what are your favourite sounds?

I love the sounds of crunching, plastic clicking into place, sharp sounds.

37. if you could spend a day with anyone, who would it be?

Probably someone important to me, or the person I like.

39. what is the nicest thing someone has ever said about you?

They told me that I’m easy to talk to, and it feels like we’ve been friends for years.

41. have you ever seen the ocean?Yeah LOL.Thanks for asking me Wilson! I also asked Wilson the evens to this fun little ask situation, so check out his blog if you want to see more into our personal lives LOL.

#ask me anything~#personal #unknownasianninja

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sawyersick · 4 years

Note

fuck you all of them

at first I was very confused but then I remembered the ask game thingey

anyways I’m sorry for assaulting you with words lets go

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I did a lot when I was little, when I was like 4ish I had a theory that everyone around me was actually just the same 50 actors constantly switching outfits to make me think the world was larger than it is

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

I'm afraid of bugs and ghosts so like... 2.25

3. The person you would never want to meet?

idk??? hitler??? Mike Pence??????

4. What is your favorite word?

phalanges, trivial, cordyceps

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

eucalyptus?

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

damn I actually look good without makeup tf

7. What shirt are you wearing?

a purple Hawaii t shirt with surfboards on it

8. What do you label yourself as?

gay???????????????????? punk? tired???? idk

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

trying to fall asleep

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

8 or 14

12. Who told you they loved you last?

my parents after I started crying after they threatened (again) to kick me out

13. Your worst enemy?

myself I guess

14. What is your current desktop picture?

a flying turtle sharting a rainbow

15. Do you like someone?

I like a lot of people!! but romantically, nobody right now

16. The last song you listened to?

Aderall, by Livewater https://livewater.bandcamp.com/track/adderall

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Mike Pence???? idk

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

this chick who fucked over all my friends or my ex

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

nobody that's fuckin weird and also a little kinky

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

my hair always looks pretty good and rarely requires styling/upkeep and my natural colour is actually pretty nice

not showing a pic because I'm lazyyyy

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I would be a fucking HOT short king and I guess I would try to jack off even though I don't even masturbate and then like....... call men out on their misogyny and privilege

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I think I'm a good singer!! But I don't sing for anyone because I'm afraid of being judged

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

snails

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

UHHHH burger

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

save it or donate or spend on lolita

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Japan because I am a WEEB

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

I don't drink so I just googled "best brand of alcohol for cooking" and then "best brand of red wine for cooking" and apparently downton abbey has their own brand of wine because that was the first result so yeah that I guess

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

don't be a little bitch

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

Squid Vicious, the giant me-sized squid plush my friend made for me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

none of them because they made me who I am today even though that’s cheesy sounding, so maybe something embarrassing rather than abusive/traumatic

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

see #26..... Japan because I'm a WEEEEB

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

luckily nobody close to me has passed yet, so I guess Freddie Mercury because I don't think Kurt Cobain would want to be brought back

34. What was your last dream about?

an awful nightmare about genetically-engineered rabid penis-dogs (i am afraid of sex so it was worse than it sounds)

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

artist? ehhh I guess

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

(gore tw)

yeah I tried to sew my prom dress in a day and the needle stabbed me and broke off inside my finger and they had to surgically remove it from the other side

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

NO AND I REALLY WANT TO

38. What is the color of your socks?

they're a mossy/slate green with little pixel illustrations of totoro characters!!

39. What type of music do you like?

anything rock.............. alt, punk, grunge, etc but I also like a lot of alt/indie stuff too

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunsets are prettier I think!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate!!!!!

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

ew sportz

43. Do you have any scars?

a LOT, mostly from weird accidents/self harm

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i don't even know anymore..................... hopefully a healthcare professional I guess

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I wish I could concentrate better

46. Are you reliable?

online? no im a shitty texter. but when it comes to hanging out? yes absolutely I HATE cancelling plans

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

will I be okay?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yeah I take a lot of shit without saying much so when I get angwy I fuckin lose it

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

cat dolphins!

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

whether or not consensual cannibalism is technically vegan (I say yes and you can fucking fight me)

51. Are you a good liar?

yes.......... unfortunately

52. How long could you go without talking?

I once went without talking for a month and a half

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

growing out my bangs while having this weird noncommittal side part

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

I do all the time!! I also bake birthday cakes for foster children's birthdays

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

not really? I kinda suck at accents..... I can only partially do asian, british, and southern accents

56. What do you like on your toast?

butter usually! Sometimes lemon curd or blueberry jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

a house on a hill at night

58. What would be you dream car?

idk I'm not really into cars.... probably a sporty lil vintage sedan

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I sing in the shower a lot!! and like do little dance moves with my hips

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yeah bro!

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

only if it shows up on social media/in a magazine, I won't seek it out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Q! Z! X!

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

DRAGONS

64. What do you think about babies?

they're alright!! They scare me a little tho because I don't want to hurt them...... I prefer kids that are like 6+

#ask game

0 notes

danisnotofire · 7 years

Note

hey im going to orientation in a few days and im rly nervous abt starting college, i was just wondering if you had any tips or any ~advice~ bc im like, lowkey freaking out ((also i also stage manage and i love musicals and astronomy (sry i was snooping around your about page)))

hey!!! ok i am so so so sorry this took so long lol i actually just went back to school myself to help out with a pre-orientation program and we’ve been having like 17 hour days so i’m Exhausted and haven’t had a lot of time to really give a thoughtful answer (UNTIL NOW). some of this is gonna sound cheesy, but this is Emma Danisnotofire’s Official Real List of Pro-Tips for College, so if it’s on here it’s true. that being said, i go to a medium/small school (4,000 students) in the middle of fucking nowhere, so some of my experiences are gonna be a lil different. most still apply.

first off, it’s TOTALLY OKAY that you’re nervous. i know when i went i was highkey freaking out even more bc everybody else seemed to be just excited and i felt like i was the only one actually losing my mind from how scared i was. i didn’t sleep at all the night before i moved in. being scared is fine. you’ll probably be scared for awhile after you get there, too, and that’s absolutely okay. i remember it took me a solid few weeks for me to stop feeling nauseous from nerves whenever i woke up. i promise i promise this will go away. you will settle in and you’ll make friends and you’ll figure out where everything is and how things work, i PROMISE.

second, once you get there, don’t be afraid to talk to people!! i know that sounds super cheesy and unhelpful, but seriously. talk to your orientation leaders!! they’re usually upperclassmen and 99% of the time they had to APPLY to get that position, and it’s because they’re so so excited to meet you!! i’m a mentor for this pre-o program (it’s arts-focused), and we all had to apply, and every single other mentor is super passionate not only about the arts but about making sure the incoming freshman feel comfortable and happy and at home right off the bat. we want to like you!! talk to us!!! talk to each other!! at my school, (bucknell), orientation is actually pretty fucking legendary (it’s 5 straight days of just. nonstop activities), so getting to know your group is always nice. good conversation starters include: compliment something they’re wearing/have done, mention pets, ask about what classes they’re taking. that’s usually where i start when i’m talking to my kids!!

okay, now for some Actual Tangible Advice. most of this is actually taken from when i gave my friend natalie some advice about college, but it’s still applicable to you!! i’m putting it under a readmore bc It’s So Very Long, I’m Sorry, I Really Hope This Helps/Makes Up For Me Not Answering For So Long

-if you can, get a microwave. if you can’t, it’s nbd because there’s probably one in your dorm somewhere. but it’s really nice not to have to put on shoes/socks to go make ramen at 3am

-INVEST IN GOOD SOCKS!!!! srsly omg you’re never gonna wanna go anywhere barefoot, and dorm heating/cooling can be tricky. i treated myself to a 5-pair box where they’re all different classic art pieces. they’re GORGEOUS and super nice for when i can’t find my flip-flops.

-also, if you have birks. bring them. they are also good for sliding on when u really have to pee in the middle of the night and can’t for the life of u find anything else. also everyone i know wears birks casually (i have a 20 dollar pair of fake ones from american eagle lol)

-OLD NAVY HAS FLIP FLOPS 2 FOR 5 DOLLARS. they make the BEST shower shoes and also they come in so many lit colors they’re the bomb digs. these are also good if you don’t have a pair of birks

-if your dorm doesn’t have it already (most dorms don’t) BUY A SCREEN FOR YOUR WINDOW!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY if u hate bugs you do NOT want them coming in when all u want is some fresh air. my roommate last year brought one to school bc i didn’t even think about it and it was a LIFESAVER.

-if you can, get one of those febreeze scent things you plug in. if you aren’t allowed, there’s this thing called a scentsy that basically melts wax and it makes your room smell SO. GOOD. idk how much they cost but honestly you will be thankful you have it if you can get it (candles work too but most dorms don’t allow candles)

-you don’t need a huge plastic shower caddy!! you can get a softer one and then hang it on a hook outside the shower or loop it around the shower knob. they’re probs better than a big hard one bc they won’t fill up with water and you can stash it easier. (i went with a big plastic one and it’s a hassle lol). however, if you already got a big plastic one, that’s cool too bc sometimes they come with a removable second smaller caddy, and that’s good for putting your phone in outside of the shower to play music.

-lofting your bed is super nice bc it gives you a little more privacy from your roommate (and privacy is so so so rare in college, esp in a dorm). it’s also nice bc if you’re up there and a friend walks into your room (which is bound to happen with dorm living, which is where i’m assuming ur living as a first-year) they won’t immediately see you, which gives you a few seconds to get ur shit together before they see you.

-HOWEVER!! there are a few downsides to lofting ur bed. the major one is that it’s a pain in the ass to not only get up there, but also to lug your laptop/charger/snacks/etc up there, and once you’re up u probably aren’t gonna wanna come down. also, i don’t know if you drink, (which btw totally cool if you don’t!!), but there was definitely one time where i was too drunk to climb into my bed (i know, i know, several bad choices were made that night and i regret all of them), but thankfully my roommate last year was a fucking goddess though (a definite Mom Friend) and pulled all my sleeping stuff down to the floor lol. it’s rare that something like that happens, but it’s definitely something u wanna take into consideration.

-college is infinitely emotionally taxing. face masks and shower bath-bombs (you put them on the floor of your shower and they slowly dissolve and release whatever scent they are) do LOADS to make u feel better. face masks are also good bonding with friends!!

-some other self-care college tips: cafes will usually have either hot apple cider in the fall, or you can get steamed milk with vanilla in it and it’s very soothing and gentle and calming. i got it a lot when i was sick just bc it was warm and not difficult to stomach.

-also baking. if you get a few friends and bake something, it is 1) bound to be hilarious and 2) everyone who walks by will love you. we once made cinnamon buns, except instead of individual ones we made one big disgusting MegaBon, and we still talk about it to this day. it’s the name of our group chat lmaooo

-you can literally never have too much storage. plastic bins, crates, etc. never too much.

-you will leave college with so much more stuff than what you came with. holy shit. you will also get so many t-shirts??? see above. you’ll need storage.

-college is also the definition of ‘Everything is Happening All The Time’, and ur probably gonna make friends who try and do Everything. it took me super long to internalize the fact that it’s okay to like, say no to doing something and take a nap instead. not all the time, sometimes its good to force urself out of your room, but you can stay in on a saturday every once in a while! it doesn’t matter.

-that being said, do try and go out of your comfort zone a little!! i was definitely not the type to do this in high school, but these days i’ll sometimes go to frat parties!! they’re actually really fun when you go with friends (and always go with friends!!!). it doesn’t even necessarily need to be parties either. audition for a capella. stage manage a show. do a club sport. there’s so much you can do!! (i actually didn’t follow my own advice here last year, i was too terrified to do a lot of things. i did theatre though, which ended up taking up most of my time anyway, but i still wish i had done more, hence why i’m doing this program right now! don’t be like first-year me. be better!)

-HOWEVER here are some (frat) party tips: girls can usually get into parties much easier than guys can, but either way don’t try to go out until around october/late september. the first few weeks back are for upperclassmen catching up with friends . go with a group, and STAY with your group. please. no girl left behind. they usually only serve shitty beer, and ofc you should keep your eyes on it the whole time. if you put it down, just go get another one instead of picking that one up again. also, invest in a shitty coat/gross pair of shoes specifically to wear to the frats. the floors are gross, and you’re probs gonna end up storing your jacket behind a trash can in the winter bc it’s too fucking hot inside the room to keep it on. (is this coat thing just a bucknell thing?? this might just be a bucknell thing).

-more drinking/etc/stuff: know your rights. RAs are not allowed to look through drawers/open closets when doing room searches, so if you have wine or anything, make sure it’s hidden in somewhere they’re not allowed to touch.

-THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT: if someone has drank too much, BACKPACK THEM. get them into bed while wearing a filled up backpack. it prevents people from rolling over and choking on their vomit. i cannot emphasize how important it is for you to backpack someone. if you can, stay with them to make sure they’re okay. also, don’t be afraid to let them throw up before they go to bed. it helps. they’ll usually feel better.

-if you can, get a job that lets you sit down. receptionist, librarian, etc. these are the best, bc sometimes you’ll get the chance to study or get paid for doing nothing. also? receptionist looks SUPER good on a resume. also? money is nice.

-LOCK YOUR DOOR!!!!! I LEARNED THIS THE HARD WAY WHEN SOME WEIRD SENIOR BOY WALKED INTO MY ROOM DRUNK AT 3AM AND WOULDN’T LEAVE. also, you’ll make friends in the first week that you won’t necessarily want to be friends with later on, but they won’t get that message lol. again, lock your door (learned that the hard way, too)

-for future semesters, if you can’t get into a class right away it REALLY helps to email the professor!!! seriously, 9 times out of 10 they are more than happy to let an extra person in, because there are always students who drop the class within the first week or two. that’s how i got into astronomy my first semester, and i’m now a teacher’s assistant for it. so. really, it helps.

-the best way to be better friends with people is to just, get meals with them. honestly. make a group chat with some people and whenever ur getting dinner or lunch or whatever just throw out a ‘hey anyone wanna get food with me??’ text. 90% of the time someone will come with you.

-speaking of meals tho, ik this is the number 1 thing people tend to say, but it’s tRUE. nobody cares if you eat alone. it too me SO LONG to internalize this, but it’s totally fine to do!! it’s actually really nice sometimes, you can bring homework or your laptop and get some work done. it’s not even with meals, either! you can study alone! you can walk places alone! you can go to the gym alone! i was always terrified of being seen alone bc i thought people were gonna think i didn’t have friends or w/e dumb thing my anxiety had me feeling, (i still struggle with that lmao) but in reality you just look independent and cool!!! also, it helps to be content in the fact that you have friends and it doesn’t matter if people THINK you don’t.

-get a reusable water bottle. i got a plastic one for like 12 bucks, and i use it DAILY. if ur walking a lot, it helps keep you hydrated. also, it gives you something to do in class. also, you can personalize it with stickers and stuff (you can do the same with a laptop case). i p much take mine with me EVERYWHERE.

-this was also hard for me to internalize, but u gotta remember the fact that it’s okay not to be who u were in high school. like, i gave up some of the things i was into in high school in favor of some other things, and it took me awhile to figure out that i wasn’t like, betraying anyone, if that makes sense?? like, i started going to frat parties and actually having FUN at them??? (something i NEVER would have been into in high school, but here we are).

-also, grades are very different in college. i freaked out when i wasn’t getting a 4.0, because that’s who i was in high school, but then i kinda put it in perspective. i ended with a 3.67, which is still dean’s list. you’re not going to be perfect, bc chances are you ended up at a school with people on kinda equal intelligence levels as you. don’t freak out.

okay that’s pretty much it!!! i can def come up with more stuff tailored to certain things/etc if you want me to talk more about this stuff!!! i love giving college advice and talking and helping people feel better about this whole thing bc i know it’s hard and scary

#college advice #college #university #advice #pro tips #Anonymous #im so sorry if ur on mobile and the readmore doesn't work #hopefully this makes up for me disappearing for a few days #alright now back to the void #goodniiiight

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