#im gonna smash his head with a hammer
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jd is just so much hes Such a good character. as someone with an actual shitty oldest brother that ruined his life i kind of find how people treat his flaws funny. esp when people blow them out of proportion like my guy was struggling and stressed and trying and . it didnt go so well but hey! he’s never hurt you on purpose and he wants to make up for it and be in your lives again
johnd oddory uhhggffgggg!!!!!!!! its so silly whenevr i think of how engrained this guy is in my head, cuz im the youngest out of my siblings but im closest with my sister The Eldest Daughter.. AND WHATS FUNNY is she says i’d be john dory and she’d be branch.. i forced her to watch trolls.she hates musicals. LAWL.
oh but anyway john dory’s whole dynamic.. ESPECIALLY with branch is soo… John Dory as the eldest, and the least favorite brother among them and branch as the youngest and most adored.. ugh it just so so so good. especially with how they mirror eachother so much… and how everyone treats them differently even though theyre so similar!!!! not that its a bad thing its just so.!!!
JOHN DORY MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD when i see him reuniting with his brothers like oh my god. because i KNOW his last impression on them was horrible and all their reactions are reasonable but man. John “GOODBYE FOREVER” Dory was the Only one to come back to the troll tree. Was the one to get everyone together to save floyd. Was in isolation for 20 years thinking his brothers were dead probably all his fault.
AND THEN guess what he WASNT EVEN OBSESSED WITH THE PERFECT FAMILY HARMONY AGAIN WHEN THEY REUNITE!! when floyds like ‘jd its diamond💔’ this dumbass goes ‘DIAMOND SHATTERING DIAMOND HAMMER’ he wasnt even THINKING OF IT!!!! uggghhhh and then theyre like THE SAME OLD JOHN DORY which is .partially true. but i feel like the siblings anger at him was definitely some bottled up feelings coming out cuz ths guy was clarifying that it was For FLOYD!!!!! ugh ugh ugh whateve Watt ever..!!!! ugh ugh ugh ugh everyone hug eachother and apologize and talk NOW!
#SORRY i went on a whole rant there#john dory and the sibling dynamics make me so……#i should probably feel more align with branch which I Do sometimes… john dory just something about him#im gonna smash his head with a hammer#ugh strugglung and stressed and TRYING UGH UGH UGH im gonna be sick its too real#i AM gonna tag thsi one idk . listen to my john dory thoughts boy!!!#john dory#trolls john dory#trolls band together#dw trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls#ask
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101 ways to kill Barney Calhoun
I ended up making this list by going through multiple servers and people so here cuz I found it in my phone notes
Anyway the brilliant minds of the half-life fandom
1.) Waited pressure plate with tnt under it
2.) im going to leave mines under his mattress
3.) i’m setting a rake on his floor so he steps on it and whacks his face
4.) I'm giving him a bomb disguised as a cigar
5.) barney death 3: he ate what elvis presley ate….
6.) I would kill Barney Calhoun by slapping him so hard on the ass that it gives him cardiac arrest
7.) I drop him onto a pit of venomous snakes
8.) Im going to give Barney a beer but instead of beer it will be filled with deadly neurotoxin
9.) “now gordon, ive been keepin an eye out on this combine hideout for a while. they seem to walk in a certain pattern when crossing over to the entrance, which makes me think theyve buried mines all over the place. now, ive memorized the pattern, so im just gonna sneak on over, and you follow my lead, alright? dont worry, i know exactly where all the mines are.” and then he explodes
10.) that one episode of sponge bob where he eats the exploding pie and explodes
11.) set up tripwire then he falls into a tiger pit
12.) I type kill npc_barney into console
13.) slap the boobies off his chest so hard them fly around the world and hit the side of his head like water balloons
14.) i could marry him and slowly feed him mercury over a span for 3 years until he dies of mercury poisoning
15.) He tries to become a wwe wrestler but gets killed in a freak accident mid match
16.) I would kill him by making him a pizza but it’s covered in big chunks of lead but it’s hidden in the sauce and it’s a Chicago style pizza
17.) bring him to a highway and kiss him so hard he gets knocked onto the road and gets ran over
18.) Peeling him apart by the dna strand and eating it like spaghetti
19.) barney gets trampled by a stampede of horses
20.) giving him under the counter off brand viagra
21.) put him in a washing machine and turn it on
22.) shark attack
23.) pit of sharks
24.) barney gets criticized so badly he dies
25.) barney sits in an uncomfortable chair for too long
26.) He gets his arm caught in a bear trap w a beer used as a lure
27.) HE BECOMES THE CAT THAT TRAUMATIZED HIM. HE….YKNOW…..
28.) he gets stuck in a swimming pool like hes in the sims and dies from getting exhausted and drowning
29.) barney roasting marshmallows but his stick ignites into flames and he burns to death
30.) ATTACH SO MANY BALLOONS TO BARNEY HE FLOATS AWAY INTO THE SKY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN
31.) barney gets rejected by gordon and he gets so sad his body shuts down
32.) I kiss him so tenderly on the lips that he melts into a puddle and dies
33.) i throw him in to a volcano so that he melt into a puddle and dies
34.) "I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives…I’ll smash it with a hammer!"
35.) stick a bottle of beer into his throat, the whole bottle
36.) give Barney Calhoun a beer can full of poison
37.) hang a piano over the toilet and wait
38.) i think barney should have his spine ripped out through his mouth
39.) he goes to a bar and tries flirting with the bartender and the bartender takes out a shotgun and kills him on the spot
40.) punch him so hard in the penis that he shatters like a brittle glass
41.) bite him in half
42.) I'm grinding him in a giant shredder
43.) bro took a bath in hot mac 'n cheese
44.) i put him ina giant caldron full of water and i begin boiling him down to gelatin and broth
45.) barney accompanies the crew to the borealis and he steps over thin ice and gets dunked into the below zero water and freezes to death
46.) barney calhoun gets carried away by a tornado
47.) took barney on a vacation to Hawai’i and pushed him into a volcano
48.) He dies and he's never mentioned again and nobody cares
49.) died of tummy ache
50.) Stepped on by a strider
51.) shrinked until he disappeared completely
52.) blasted into the sun
53.) Stab him with 300 pencils made with real lead
54.) slip and falls and dies
55.) put him into a Minecraft furnace
56.) Barney ignores the wet floor sign and slips and cracks his head
57.) while swimming in the swimming pool he swims to fast and smashes his face against the pool's wall
58.) he gets a concussion and drowns
59.) i want to put him through a lunchmeat slicer
60.) He falls off a dumb huge cliff
61.) he lives his life to the fullest and at his deathbed at age 93, June 29th, 6:12 am he passes away
62.) he eats a burgie with too much grease and gets a heart attack
63.) testicular cancer
64.) He should get sucked into a fan while trying to fix it at Black Mesa and literally no one comes looking for him
65.) The Pita Bread Room
66.) slipped on a Banana peel
67.) ran over by a crap ton of shopping carts rolling down the hill
68.) barney overheats in a fursuit
69.) he has sex so bad that he dies
70.) Barney dies because i fucking kill him with a shovel 🖕
71.) barney eats the gas station sushi
72.) barney faints via twirling around and holding his hand in front of his forehead, and then slowly lying down with a flower in his hands to indicate death
73.) When they turn off the suppression fields he just blows up
74.) barney gets crushed by a giant boulder thats all i got son
75.) barney goes to the beach that makes you old
76.) His head spontaneously combusts and pops like corn
77.) erectile dysfunction
78.) we should also have him get carbon monoxide poisoning
79.) barney gets gaussian blurred into nothingness
80.) he eats 20 year old expired mcdonalds burger and contracts the worst case of food poisoning youve ever seen
81.) Have we done tying him to a train track like a damsel
82.) he dies in a glue trap
83.) barney develops lactose intolerance over the years of combine occupation and he drink milk and then dies from shitting hinself to death
84.) he should chocke on his favourite food
85.) barney gets lead poisoning from a 1990s garfield glass mug
86.) he chokes on plastic
87.) barney gets thrown throw a glass window from a 15 story building
88.) gordon gives barney a wedgie so bad that he splits in half and dies
89.) gordon and barney divorce and barney dies from heartbreak
90.) alyx and gordon have enough of barney’s snoring so they smother him in his sleep with a pillow
91.) he trips while walking with gordon and impales himself on gordons crowbar face
92.) if he were the size of an ant he'd be ok instead he blows up like a watermelon and his remains are fed to lamarr by a very delighted kleiner. he fucking hated barney
93.) dog roughhouses with barney and accidentally obliterates his spinal cord
94.) barney gets poisoned to death by his own chumtoad
95.) coats him in eggs and flour and fries him
96.) snatched by a hawk and eten alive
97.) barney gets to participate in a danganronpa killing game and gets executed
98.) barney opens the love-letter-for-you.txt.vbs file and it kills him
99.) elaborate rube goldberg machine to drop an anvil on barney
100.) barney dies in an Iron Maiden
101.) we should put barney under those old timey stone tablets meant to squish and torture people and make them talk
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also are you any schoolchild cuz im curious abt the bifrost incident
OKAYSO
the bifrost incident is one of the mechanisms' albums [and the one that they re-tell during death to the mechanisms] [also nastya threw herself into space right before it], characters are loki [loses her mind and dies with her wife, saving the train temporarily], sigyn [loki's wife, thought she died earlier and has a gayass reunion with her, focused on ending the shit system that asgard made (it worked! they died)], thor [pissed off and in jail during the whole album, kills odin], odin [built the train, gets Bifrost'd and fucking dies], and lyfrassir edda [watches all the footage and shit go down after everyone died] .
edda was sent to use the train's black box [basically like a surveillence camera] to find out who caused the bifrost incident and what happened . before the incident , odin gave a speech at the launch about it being her "pet science project", in edda's words: "clearly something of a personal obsession". When the train launches, theres like 70 billion signs that shits gonna go off the rails [pun intended], the odometer stops working, people Dont Want To Be On The Damn Train, odin spends all her time staring out of a glass wall in her cabin room thing. then edda spots loki, who was apparently executed for treason , odin spared her to save her knowledge of the train , but her head was messed up by whatever she did instead . thor finds out loki's alive , seems mad about it, we cant tell if hes mad about loki still being alive [she accidentally killed his best friend] or about what odin did to her. thor and odin get into an argument , odin thinks loki's understanding of the train's tracks was too valuable to lose . thor threatens her and her train [FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR TRAIN! YOULL BE SORRY YOU ALL WILL !!!], odin locks him in his own cabin the rest of the trip . as hes dragged away, he shatters the lock on loki's cabin . edda's almost gonna write up thor as the cause of the incident, when the video cuts out . sigyn finds loki in her cabin, loki's fuckin SCARED and CONFUSED she doesnt remember shit , sigyn figures out what odin did to her , now 2 people hate odin !!. edda finds that the video cuts out a lot more significantly and fequently hm im sure that means nothing .
edda goes to some prisoners for help , who are THE FUCKIN MECHANISMS THEMSELVES they got arrested for 60 years lmao . ivy finds the corrupted part of the box and fixes it , problem solved :] .
thor and sigyn stand in the engine room , instead of an engine , theres a silver alter with a man on it , feeding his blood into the glyphs and gears of the train . thor randomly smashes buttons and pulls levers , sigyn rushes to pull the pumps out of kvasir [the dude] , and they suddenly stop, something bad has happened .
A CHANT IS HEARD, YOG-SOTHOTH WHO IS BIFROST WARPS AND TEARS REALITY AROUND THEM , ALL THE DOORS ARE OPEN NOW . KVASIR BLEEDS OUT , THOR WALKS AWAY . THE TRAIN AND REALITY ARE TORN APART . VARIOUS TRAIN RIDERS ARE DESTROYED UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF YOG-SOTHOTH, HEIMDALL IS RIPPED APART , FREY IS FLAYED , FREYA FUSES TO THE TRAIN , GARM AND TYR FIGHT AND MERGE INTO A SINGLE CORPSE . LOKI AND ODIN ARE IN ODINS CABIN , ODIN REVEALS ALL ALONG HER TRAIN AND EVERYTHING WITH IT HAS BEEN IN SERVICE OF YOG-SOTHOTH, LOKI FINDS HER MIND REPAIRED AND IS DISGUSTED BY ODIN. LOKI RECALLS HER HORROR OF THE TRAIN AND WHY SHE TRIED TO STOP IT MULTIPLE TIMES . ANY PROTECTION TO THE TRAIN AND ITS PASSENGERS IS GONE NOW THAT THE TRAIN HAS DERAILED . AS THEY ARGUE , A THIRD VOICE HAS CHIMED IN , CHANTING PRAISE TO AZATHOTH AND WARNINGS OF THE COMING MADNESS.
...
Loki walks away and finds sigyn, shes unharmed because shes been touched by an outer god . thor is walking the other way to find odin, he defends himself with an engineers hammer . the two cross paths in an empty carriage , they talk for a little while and wish eachother good deaths. Thor reaches odin's cabin , shes physically warped into a long undulating form with a single, vast eye . she brags about releasing the outer gods, and tells thor that killing her wont save his world . thor doesnt care ["killing me will not save your world!" "I dont care."] physically unable to win a one on one fight, he goes for the glass wall , he and odin both die .
loki reaches the engine room and finds sigyn . they hug and cry . loki tells sigyn they cant stop the outer gids , but they can delay their arrival . loki lays on the silver alter , sigyn pushes one of the tubes into her heart and lets a steady drip of blood into the gears , keeping the train on track until her heart runs out of blood . but until then , they are together.
Back in the present , edda realizes . the arrival of the trains wreckage means the outer gods will soon follow . the mechanisms themselves have escaped the prison , and edda [very drunk] announces they're fleeing the planetary system, and recommends everyone do the same . BURST OF STATIC, radio messages are heard across the yggdrasil [aforementioned planetary system] system, the inhabitants of it increasing distress as reality breaks down.
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SO ! YEAH THATS THE BIFROST INCIDENT ! I FUCKINGG LOVE THIS ALBUM ! SORRY I RESPONED TO THIS SO LATE I WAS EEPING AND IT TOOK A DAMN WHILE TO TYPE ALL THAT ON PHONE . yes loki and sigyn are canon no i will never shut up about them YES YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THE ALBUM ON ITS OWN WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE IT
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Okay lets get into this guys. Bc im struggling in a relationship. We both do love each other but have some major differences. At what point is it not acceptable anymore to be with the other person? Also what do yall mean when u say u cant chose who you love
ok if i'm being fully honest that other anon was a little bit on one and i didn't fully grasp what was going on but i liked the vibe. and idk ive only ever been in one relationship and am still in it 6 years later so i don't think i'm in a position to like make blanket statements abt relationships in general but first i think differences are good because variety is the spice of life. and i think it's normal to like. get mad and sometimes feel general resentment towards your partner because that's inevitable in any long term human relationship romantic or not like with parents friends whatever sometimes you feel hatred because emotions are unpredictable and not always logical.. but i would venture that one big difference is frequency of actual fighting and like how much it has an emotional toll on you. like my bf and i rarely if ever get into Fight Mode like we have tiffs and then resolve them or move on from them after we cool down and like neither of us are ever blatantly disrespectful of the other, whatever the argument is about it stays about that and doesn't broaden at least not out loud. like the other day without asking i opened a bottle of wine that he found at work and brought home bc to me it's just another bottle of wine and he doesn't even really like wine but he got miffed because the seal on that specific bottle felt special to him and he wanted to open it and in that moment in my head i was like omg what a baby but then i just stopped caring the next day because ultimately it's minor and ppl have a right to be different and assign value to different things. i think if overall the relationship has a net positive on your quality of life and the health of your soul then by all means stay in it because relationships are gonna be hard. but im curious what the "differences" are that you're describing. bc like in my case i respect and admire my bf on a foundational level like his values and his outlook etc and i don't think i would still be with him if there were huge ideological differences like if he were a libertarian or something or if he were a combative aggressive type we never would have even dated. our differences tend to be like, he's more of a homebody, he's more risk averse while im more sensation seeking, he doesn't like to have the ac on and i do, i'm more messy and he's more tidy, little things that ultimately don't cause huge clashes but sometimes can be frustrating and kind of inflate themselves in the moment to the point where i'm like omg i wanna smash you with hammers but then it passes. but we both value harmony and kindness and like don't go out of our way to pick fights and that restraint has done a lot for us i think. so i would say as an uneducated nobody that the point of no return is when you lose the fundamental mutual respect and admiration or find that your values or lifestyles have irreconcilable differences that cause you actual misery. like if you're getting into fights where actual mean personal attacks are getting thrown around i don't think that's acceptable anymore because if you truly respect someone and don't want to cause them harm you bite your tongue. i'm also not trying to brag about my relationship i hope that's not how this comes off i'm just speaking from the only experience i have lol. anyway i know that was kind of all over the place idk if it was helpful at all but whatever happens i hope things improve ❤️
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THIS VENERABLE CONTENT .....????
#IM GONNA PASS OUT#sometimes a family is the only just some guy left alive; a moronic ancient skeleton that accidentally grew her flesh back and is fucking#pissed about it; a 60 year old neurodivergent minor who cant get past her shitty ex; and her 18 year old disciple with a blood feud against#her that brings out his comically large 40 meter long hammer to smash her head when she thinks about her ex#but then sometimes#family also is a 900 year old bag of blood that cant process human emotion; the kid he picked up from a pile of corpses and threw into hell#a guy who Will Fuck You; an ambitious seductress who is brilliant and has not thought once ever in her life; a kindly grandpa who wants to#become the supreme god and kill Everyone; and some guy who spreads stds for a living#would i recommend the book? no. did it make me cry? . 😐😐😐
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Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1
just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.
“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.
0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.
loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material.
if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.
“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.
“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,
thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that.
“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰
THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.
okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss.
thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.
“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.
when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)
just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment.
I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.
“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.
im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye.
return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.
thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.
crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.
“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me.
I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.
im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)
thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...
thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.
THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪
stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.
“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.
I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie.
i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3
“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.
Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!
“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.
the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.
sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the deets 🔥 👊💯😩
Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot
sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌
now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking
look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses.
#listen#if people can interpret loki and the grandmaster as a thing when loki spends the entire time looking uncomfortable about every situation#then i can interpret thor as flirting with people when there are actual canon questions which get solved when other explanations dont work#so#dont mind me here#in conclusion: thor is a dum dum idiot and it's *chef's kiss*#thank you for coming to my ted talk#ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan#TPILTMLS#Language!#language#im one of those people who comments on things through movies but you can't be mad because it's worth it and i've got points#obviously writing means i can get the full gist of the comments out without summarizing#but#like#my family is simply underappreciative and i'm a genius
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Tease
Shigaraki x Reader
Warnings: Virgin Shigaraki, teasing, hickeys, spanking, basically reader screwing with Shigaraki who i guarantee never had the sex talk.
A/N: I’m just gonna say that this is where Shigaraki has no clue what to do during sex so he’s just this pent up ball of clueless sexual frustration.
~~~
Oh how you loved to tease your boss.
It was no surprise to you when Shigaraki told you he was a virgin when he was drunk. Thankfully you were the only one who heard it. But he sealed his fate forever after that.
Once he got sober he marched straight to your room and was going to threatened to kill you if you told anybody. But you heard him coming towards your room so what’s better then a virgin shigaraki? Teasing a virgin shigaraki.
Once you heard him by your door you proceeded to take off your shirt, your chest facing the door.
He slammed open the door to yell at you when he was met with the sight of your shirt over your head and a pair of tits for his eyes to feast on.
“Take a picture it’l last longer.” You say in a seductive tone causing him to yelp and shut the door quickly.
That was the first incident..
~~~
The second incident was when you were in the hallways. It was just you and shigaraki and you were going separate directions. You looked him in the eyes before he looked down and muttered a quiet,
“Sorry i waked in on you..”
“It’s fine it was an accident.” He nodded before passing by you,
“But this wasn’t,” you giggle as you pinched his butt with him letting out a squeak. You snickered as you walked away not noticing the Shigaraki staring at you with a crimson blush on his face.
~~~
Third incident was when you guys were all sitting on the couch watching a movie. Twice and Toga made sure everyone was there no exceptions, which lead to you being cramped on the couch with the arm of the couch on your left and shigaraki on your right.
You could tell he was trying his hardest not to look at you. Even though you did have a blanket over your lap your tank top was showing a lot of cleavage that was too much for him to handle.
You snicker before snaking your hand down on to Shigaraki’s thigh and fave it a squeeze. You looked at him and you where meet with dangerous red ones. Which got wider when they felt a hand grabbing his dick.
You gently rubbed on the hardening member underneath you. But as time went by you slowly went more rougher and faster. Looking at Shigaraki who is just a red tomato by this point, shaking as he bit his lips.
Once you knew that Shigaraki was fully erect, and that it could be seen through his pants you announced that you were tired and going to bed.
Toga tried to convince you to watch the rest of it but you denied. Soon everyone went back to watch the movie you looked at Shigaraki who looked at you like if he stared hard enough at you, you would wither away.
~~~
The fourth incident was the same night. It was when everyone was asleep. Except shigaraki which could be silently gaming.
You grabbed your phone and put on your most sexy lingerie and went to Shigaraki’s contact. You took a picture of your breasts and sent it too him. But also making sure he could see the lingerie.
About 5 minutes later you hear a loud but not too loud knocking at your door. Still in your lingerie you open the door to see a beet red Shigaraki holding up his phone with a pissed off look.
The expression didn’t last long after you pulled him into your room before slamming him in the door only to smash your lips into his.
He let out a surprised yelp before you moved your hands to make shigaraki’s hands hold on to your waist. Your hands were to occupied that moment, one was in his hair tugging it, while the other was harshly rubbing on his cock.
During this entire encounter shigaraki was a panting mess, face red and messily kissing you ass well.
You grin evilly before shoving your hand down his pants.
“N-no! You can’t d-do t-that!” His voice cracked while he was trying to sound dominant.
“Why not?” You say innocently.
“Because people dont do that!”
“Really now?”
“Yes!”
“Well from what i recall, i remember that what im doing to you right now is called a handjob.”
“W-whats a handjob?” Now it was your turn to look at him wide eyed. You abruptly stop which caused him to whimper at the lost of undeniable pleasure.
“Your kidding right?”
“...”
“What have you never had the sex talk?!”
“...”
“Well then let me show you one thing that gives people pleasure.” You grin smugly as you continue your attack under his pants. Causing him to gasp at the sudden stimulation.
You rubbed him quickly while you bit his neck. Grabbing bits of skin and taking it in between your teeth. One of your fingers brushed the head of his dick causing him to let out a rather loud moan. His seed coating his pants but you didn’t stop which lead to him falling to the ground.
“Wow did you just cum in your pants? How embarrassing!” You laughed as you degraded him. You knew you were playing a dangerous game but knowing your leader was a little bitch for your sexual attention, was worth it.
You dug your hand out of his pants showing him all the sum that coated you hand. He looked at the hand then you. Wondering what you were going to do.
He slowly started shaking when he saw you bring your hand to your mouth to lick it all off. You slowly stood up looking down at shigaraki, face flushed and looking completely blissed out.
You open your door causing him to fall back into the hallway. He looked at you again before you shut the door in his face.
Leaving his pants zipper wide open for all to see.
~~~
Okay that was it. After that last incident Shigaraki had made up his mind. He needed to ignore your childish antics.
But it felt amazing, your soft hands-. No Shigaraki wasn’t going to think about that. HE had a mission and he wasn’t going to let you distract him.
The why couldn’t he stop the wet dreams?
Every night since then, his dreams would be full of things that made his heart go wild and dick standing up.
The thought of you licking his hardening member had him creaming his pants.
HE even went as far as to search up the ‘sex talk’. And boy was he suprised.
He looked at everything the internet had to offer about sex. It was all good until he found out about kinks.
He looked at said website, and was completely in shock at some of these things.
But what really got him going was the thought of you crying. Crying out to him as he fucked you. Not to mention the thought of him being in control was such a turn on that he couldn’t handle it anymore. He quickly sat up from his chair turning off the computer already full of new knowledge before stomping straight to your room.
When he opened the door you were there on your phone. You looked up at him with a sly grin.
“Need something boos?” Oh he needed something alright. He slammed the door behind him locking it before jumping on the bed and pinning you to it.
“Well didn’t thin-” You were interrupted when you felt your shirt and pants get disintegrated before getting flipped onto your tummy with your ass in the air.
“Shigaraki the h-HELL!” You yell out the last part after Shigaraki plunged into you without warning or prep. Before you could say anything you felt a sharp smack on your ass. Then another, then another.
THe red marks on your ass where enough to tell you who was in charge now. Shigaraki held your waist with eight fingers and humping you like a dog.
You could hear his moaning in panting after every thrust. About like a minute in you felt his cock twitch inside you, thankfully over that time your wetness was a makeshift lube.
“Shigaraki d-dont your d-dare come i-inside!” You panted out, even it was his first time but you couldn’t stop the moans from flowing. His thrust weren’t in rhythm but the fact that he jack hammered into you with speed is what made you a moaning mess.
“Shut the fuck up, i-it’s my turn to b-be dominant now!” His arms snaked around your waist pulling you closer to him. His mouth was next to your neck as you could feel his hot breath.
Before you know it you feel shigaraki still inside you as he bit onto your skin harshly, the feeling of his seed pouring into you is something you would never forget.
“Asshole! I could get pregnant!” You yelled out to him but it fell on deaf ears as he continued his pace again, not giving you any type of warning.
The tip of his cock hitting your cervix over and over again made your legs shake as his grip on your waist tightened. He peppered your neck in kisses and bites, leaving nowhere untouched.
Of course it wasn’t long until you were pushed over the edge. The orgasm was so strong that your body felt like jello afterwards.
But did that stop Tomura? Nope we all know once this rat boy gets a taste of pussy you aint never gonna walk again. Enjoy the rest of your life being Tomura’s personal fuck toy.
#sorry not sorry#mha tomura#tomura shiragaki#shigaraki tomura#tomura shigaraki smut#tomura shigaraki x reader#shigaraki tomura x reader#mha#bnha smut#mha smut#bnha
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Kiss the girl- Part 2
This is the second part of my Noah Flynn series from The Kissing Booth Netflix movie, I hope you will all like it.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh
Masterlist
Part 1
Summary: (Y/n) and Lee are best friends but Lee warns his brother away from her, she’s been through a lot and her mental health is suffering. Lee thinks Noah is only going to make (Y/n) worse after what she has suffered, but Noah can’t stay away from her and (Y/n) feels drawn to him.
Enjoy.
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"Lee, it's fine, trust me. It was just a kiss and it wasn't as if he knew it was gonna be me walking out there." (Y/n) linked her arm through Lee's as they slowly made their way into the sea of students dispersing out to the car park ready to go home.
(Y/n) knew her best friend was trying to sound nonchalant and as if everything was okay about the kiss but she could see that inside he was fuming. He was angry his brother had gone and kissed his best friend, in Lee's mind Noah could have done something different, he could have made some excuse or taken (Y/n) back behind the curtain. He could have done something to stop it from happening, especially when he knew how much being in the booth would have made (Y/n) anxious.
Lee just wanted to make sure that it didn't embarrass or make (Y/n) feel uneasy, he knew she used to have a crush on Noah to have him be her first kiss can't be easy.
"You sure? I mean, I told him to stay away because you're not interested-"
"Stop blabbering, just forget about it okay, it's over and done with." (Y/n) knew she would eat her words soon enough because she wasn't telling Lee the truth. It wasn't over and done with because the kiss meant something and both she and Noah knew it. But Lee was persistent and he wanted Noah to stay as far away from (Y/n) as possible, if she told Lee that the kiss meant something and that she didn't want Noah to stay away from her it was only going to to cause arguments that none of them wanted to deal with. It was better to keep Lee ignorant and in the dark for now.
"Right, are we heading home?" Lee started to guide them both over to his car parked over to the left but (Y/n) lightly shook her head causing Lee to pause in his stride to his car. "Do you want a lift somewhere else?"
"I think I'm gonna take a walk into town."
"You sure? Cause I can drive you there or we can go to the arcades if you want some company." Lee's lopsided smile made (Y/n)'s heart drop to her stomach. Here he was trying his best to help her and offer support and companionship so she didn't have to be alone and she was going to lie to him and refuse his help.
Lee had been her strength when she didn't have any, he was her guiding light when she got lost and he was there through everything when he didn't have to be. (Y/n) would never be able to thank Lee enough for everything he did and continued to do for her so lying to him was very hard and it was something (Y/n) had never done before. But if she wanted to be with Noah, lying to Lee was something she was going to have to do a lot more often.
"I'm sure, I want to be out on my own for a while. I'll call you later, promise." (Y/n) nodded reassuringly at Lee so he didn't start to panic or think something was wrong because nothing was wrong.
There was hesitation in Lee's eyes and he could feel his heart hammering against his ribs because he didn't want to be that overbearing friend that didn't trust (Y/n) or always assumed the worst or assumed that she wasn't okay or able to be on her own. But he couldn't help but panic about her when he knew that she didn't want to be on her own after Andrew died, (Y/n) had always either been home with her dad or round at Lee's place because being on her own left her with her demons. She let her thoughts get the better of her when she was on her own and it allowed her to panic freely without control.
But Lee had to trust her.
He had to trust that (Y/n) knew what she wanted to do and knew how to take care of herself and when to let people help her if things got too much. When she had her breakdown last year she let people help her willingly because she didn't want to suffer. If anything like that were to happen again he knew she would ask or let help be given to her.
"Alright, just don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"So, basically do everything then." (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders with a playful grin when Lee's jaw dropped and his head started to shake with a small laugh leaving his lips. He pointed at her warningly before he headed to his car and (Y/n) turned on her heels to start walking down the path away from school.
She couldn't meet Noah on school grounds because people would see and if Lee saw or found out all Hell would then break loose. (Y/n) made her way out of school grounds and started to round the corner near the playing field before Noah's dark silver car rolled up beside her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Lee thinks I'm going to hurt you." The small smile that Noah wore on his face was one that didn't hide the concern he held in his eyes when he looked at her.
"Lee thinks that about everyone." (Y/n) slowly dragged her fingers through the sand, tilting her head down so she could watch the grains of sand fall through her fingers rather than look at the expression on Noah's face as he sat beside her on the beach. There was something so calming about the feeling of the sand falling through her fingers, it was like (Y/n) could imagine that the sand was her worries and insecurities and she was letting them slip away and disappear.
"Do you think he's right?"
"I mean, everyone is bound to hurt you at one point or another, whether it's on purpose or not. You might hurt me, Lee might hurt me, I could hurt either or both of you. If someone is close enough to hurt you it means they're special."
(Y/n) knew everyone hurt someone at some point in their lives, she would end up hurting Lee and so would Noah if they decided to make a relationship out of this behind his back. Lee could always do something that would hurt (Y/n) and so could Noah, but if they did something that really got to her or cut to her core then it meant they were close enough to her to hurt her. It meant they were special, and if (Y/n) tried to stay away from everyone she thought would hurt her then she would never have anyone close to her.
"My mum hurt me when she died, she was special to me." (Y/n) stopped running her fingers through the sand when she felt Noah's hand resting over her own.
"I want to be special to you, (Y/n), but I don't want to hurt you."
"I don't think you could hurt me, Noah Flynn."
There was something sad in (Y/n)'s eyes that made Noah feel his heart dropping to his stomach like a stone. It was as if (Y/n) thought he couldn't hurt her because she had been hurt too badly already, like she was a china doll that had already been dropped and smashed and couldn't be broken into any further pieces. Her mum had died and shattered part of her and then Andrew passed away and broke what little there was of her left. If Noah did hurt her (Y/n) knew it would barely scratch the surface and that in turn, hurt him.
"I hope not, you're far too special to risk breaking, (Y/n). But if we're going to do this, we can't tell Lee which means, not telling anyone else either."
"I know Lee's protective but you really think he'll be this upset?" Part of (Y/n) wanted to tell Lee because keeping secrets from her best friend was tiring, just lying to him today was more than (Y/n) wanted to handle. She couldn't imagine how she was going to feel when she had to start properly lying to him about going out and being with Noah.
She knew Lee would be angry with them for wanting to get into a relationship but she didn't know if it was worth all the sneaking about.
"(Y/n)... when we were younger I promised Lee I wouldn't get close to you, he wanted something, a friend, that was just his. Then I promised him I wouldn't go near you or try anything with you because he thinks I'm going to break you. If we tell him Lee will be the one to break."
"Okay, Lee doesn't know. You know he's just looking out for me when he says he thinks you'll break me, don't you? He doesn't think anything bad of you, he thinks he has to protect me from myself."
(Y/n) leaned her head forward so she could rest her cheek on Noah's shoulder before she reached across and took a chip from the bag resting on his lap. She hadn't eaten lunch at school but she was starting to get a bit hungrier now, a reason she knew Noah bought the chips and put them so close to her.
She wanted Noah to know that Lee didn't think badly of him, despite the fights and the arguments he always got into, Lee didn't think his brother was a bad person or a brute or someone who was dangerous. He thought it was his job to keep (Y/n) safe and sane and calm and he thought that if Noah got involved it would break the foundations that had taken so long to repair. It was more that he thought Noah would unsettle everything around (Y/n) rather than hurt her break her.
"I know my brother acts more of a keeper around you than a friend at times, he's hiding you away like you're allergic to the sun. He doesn't have to worry about protecting you all the time, you don't need protecting, especially not from me."
"That's not fair." (Y/n) took another chip from the bag and popped it into her mouth before she tilted her head up to look at Noah. There was a small, calming smile on her lips showing Noah she wasn't about to get angry or start a fight. "Lee saw me at my worst, Noah, he doesn't want to see me like that again, he's just trying to help. I wouldn't have got through last year without him."
"I guess it just bugs me sometimes, Lee warns me your fragile like I'm gonna storm in and crush you or something... I saw you that night, you know?"
"When?"
"I was driving mum to town when your dad called, about Andrew. We turned the car around, she called Lee and we headed over to your place... I stood in the doorway to your house, watched your dad struggle to get you downstairs and I wanted so badly to just take you in my arms and hold you. But then Lee appeared and the moment you saw him, it was like you knew everything would be okay. You let him take you downstairs and sit you down, you let him hold you and cry with you and I thought... why can't I do that? Why can't I help you or help someone like Lee?"
That scene was something Noah replayed over and over in his mind when he found himself lost or confused or stuck in a bad place.
He remembered that day like it was happening in front of him right now. Noah remembered his mother hitting him repeatedly to get him to take the next turning and go to (Y/n)'s house rather than drive her into town. He remembered seeing his mother sobbing for the first time as she called Lee and said something had happened to Andrew.
Noah drove all the way to (Y/n)'s house and stumbled up the path with his mother but when he got one foot inside the house he felt like he had stepped into another dimension. Noah saw (Y/n) screaming at the top of her lungs, he saw her dad fighting to get her to stop trying to go back to Andrew's body. They were almost falling down the stairs, one trying to go down and the other trying to go back up. And in that moment, the only thing Noah wanted to do was run up those stairs and pick (Y/n) up, he wanted to take her in his arms and carry her somewhere safe.
He wanted to hold her and tell her he was there and it was okay, she could scream and cry all she liked and he would just sit and hold her through it all. He wanted her to let out the storm raging inside of her and be able to say that he was the one who would help her. Noah had never helped someone like that before, the most he had done was help an elderly man in the shop. He wanted to do more than that.
He wanted to know that he could do more than just have flings with girls and play sports or have good grades. He wanted to be a good person and help in a way that counts.
But Noah only got to stare at (Y/n) in distress before his little brother came in like a force of nature and changed the atmosphere in the house. Lee bypassed his mother and his elder brother and made a beeline for (Y/n) when he spotted her. The hazel floppy-haired boy ran up those stairs like he was running a marathon and once he got to (Y/n), Noah saw it.
Noah saw the change. (Y/n) had been in so much distress but once Lee was there, that was it. She wrapped her arms around him and let him take her weight, (Y/n) let Lee effortlessly guide her down those stairs, both of them sobbing messes. He took her to the sofa and sat her down and held her like he was glue holding broken pieces together to fix her. Lee let her sob into his neck, he let her scream and hit him and fling her limbs all over the place but he calmed her down without saying one word.
Lee never said anything for the hour that he sat and held (Y/n) but it worked, just his presence calmed her down from a state that mimicked psychosis. Noah had never been jealous of anyone before but in that moment, he had been green-eyed with jealously of the ability his little brother possessed to help someone- to help (Y/n) like that.
"Lee didn't know what he was doing but he did something right... I hurt him Noah. He talked me down from a ledge, he stopped me from doing a lot of stupid shit and he sat there and let me cry without any answers for me, there isn't any manual on how to help someone like that, Lee did that all blindfolded. But Noah Flynn is different, he didn't hold me when I screamed, he ran in and defended me at school when someone started talking about Andrew or asking why I was a prude. You don't have to hold me when I cry in order to help me Noah."
(Y/n) knew over the past year she had pushed Lee to his limits without meaning or intending to do so. When she felt like jumping off the ledge and doing something rash Lee sat calmly and patiently and talked her down and brought her back to safety. When Andrew died Lee held her and calmed her down and cried with her. But Lee did all of that without a manual, he didn't know what he was doing or if what he was doing would help. That was what made him so special to (Y/n).
With Noah it was different but in a good sense. He didn't hold (Y/n) when she was in distress or watch her cry, he protected her from everyone else whereas Lee protected her from herself. Lee made sure she didn't do anything stupid and when (Y/n) first went back to school someone started asking about Andrew, where he was, why he wasn't there and they were trying to rile (Y/n) up because news spread fast when he died. Noah didn't think twice before he barged in and tackled the guy down to the ground.
When someone else tried to ask (Y/n) on a date and then said she was a prude, a stuck up fly on the wall who didn't hardly speak, Noah broke his nose and gave him a black eye for his trouble and almost got himself suspended in the process.
"Well whatever happens, I'm always gonna be here for you." Noah leaned his head down to steal a kiss from her lips before he took one of the chips and placed it between his teeth. He turned his head in her direction, smiling when she kissed him and bit down, eating half the chip resting between his teeth.
Noah wasn't sure if (Y/n) knew Lee had told him about her not eating, but right now, she seemed to be fine with him. Maybe he was having a good effect on her after all.
#noah flynn#noah x reader#noah flynn imagine#lee flynn#the kissing booth#the kissing booth 2#imagine
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i finished ffta again for the first time in more than 15 years and my final verdict is that if you hate marshe im going to steal your knees
i’m gonna try to be as spoiler-free as possible bc i really want people to play this game ok? ok
premise: this is the only final fantasy tactics i played. i KNOW the original fft is better and this one isn’t a flawless game, but you know what?
it took my heart and smashed it with a hammer over and over and for that i am glad. when i decided to get back on it i was REALLY scared for the maincharacter, since the main plot is about a group of friends with various problems ending up in a fantasy world who fixes everything about them and the MC wants to get back to the real world, i was scared it was over nothingand i was WRONG!!!!!!!!!
and so were many people who probably played this game as kids, didn’t understand the message it was trying to give and put it aside as “bad isekai game where the mc wants to ruin everyone’s life”
PLOT & CHARACTERS
this game talks about loss, physical illnesses, anxiety and neglect, and the recurring theme is coping. it’s a surprisingly mature theme and it’s hard to tackle, but it really pushes the idea that estranging yourself and ignoring your issues to live in your own perfect fantasy world is a very unhealthy coping mechanism, and i think it delivered it very well!
marshe himself, who seem to have no problems other than the fact that he can’t fit in at first, actually has WAY bigger issues than one could think at first, that come from a simple thing like “being the new kid in class” to a very difficult home situation.
the game itself has moments in which he openly admits he would love to keep on ignoring his problems rather than facing them heads on, more often than not he’s called selfish by people who don’t know about his life, and both he and many other characters explain the recurring motif, and yet he’s still considered a bad character and i think it’s unfair
he isn’t the most dynamic nor the most interesting main character in a final fantasy, but he’s a mature and conflicted young boy who deserves way more love than people give him - and i think it could be told about most of them
none of them are particularly deep nor get too much screentime, in my opinion, but the little they showed really delivered - ritz and mewt in particular work as great co-protagonists AND antagonists, and while doned’s plotline was a little too rushed, in my opinion, its finale was really nice and i think helped both him and marsh to grow, since they finally could bring themselves to vent to one another.
for the ivalice characters, montblanc is. okay.
he’s far from being annoying like i’ve seen people call him, but i wish he was a little more present after the first “arc” of the game... and him not being particularly strong in battle doesn’t really make him shine
babus and ezel, on the other hand, are REALLY good characters. i was sold on babus’ arc, and ezel is just. such a fun npc to deal with. 10/10
i wish they had time to explain the final boss a little better (especially since,,, maybe it’s just me and my OP clan, but we were a few levels lower than her and defeated her in less than a turn fnsmdgn), but i think it was pretty good
GAMEPLAY
the worst and best part of the entire game, however, it’s how it works. i really like the clan ideas, the missions, the rules... everything is very fun, and i like how it forces you to use various classes for different missions and unlock other jobs!
for example, you take hume archer and make him learn a few abilities to turn him into a hunter, with the hunter you can catch monsters, and with the monster you caught you can get the weapons to train your beastmaster!! and it’s very cool!!!!
it’s really fun to experiment with the multiclassing! with the exception of some special npcs, every character can change class and add a second set of abilities, or mix up some support and reactionary ones to those that don’t have any!
a good example is how i worked with marshe: he starts as a soldier, but i eventually changed his main class in paladin-fighter, but also gave him the dual wielding ability ninja have to make him always hit for 300+ damage for each melee turn!
not all the jobs are equally balanced, however. case in point, since i literally tried every single one of them heres the fun tier list
i think the big amount of missions are there mostly to grind and to make the game longer than it is, and kind of... put the actual plot on the back, unfortunately, but they’re very fun!
i like taking wanted criminals, or stop the wyrms from attacking ivalice, or even just help some poor guy escaping from jail!
however... there are two big stinkers
first of all, well... i just finished the main quest now, i know i still have two extra sidemissions for two extra characters and around 100 missions more to do to unlock the secret boss - but to do these extra missions, you have to keep for yourself certain items, and the space for said items is limited.
some missions can be done again as many time as you need, but what tells you that you used or threw away an item of a missions that doesn’t return after a certain point?
your game file can be permanently softblocked in the post-game because you literally can’t have the items necessary to complete all the missions ever again, and it sucks
other than that... the goddamn saving missions.
every now and then, you might get some “save [location]” missions in your tavern. some are cool, all you need to do is send a member of your clan there and it’s saved - but from that moment onwards, every now and then, that area can be like
and you have a limited time of 30 in-game days (aka 30 movements around the world map) to reach the area and fight off the intruders
on paper it’s fine, and it’s a very easy way to level up real quick (sidenote, you gain EXP for every action you make, so instead of skipping your turn, if you can, do literally anything to always use an action in your turn!! just sit there, use a random healing action and get yourself some fresh exp), and increase your clan’s level
however... it’s very repetitive.
each area has its speficic set of intruders, and every single time it gets invaded it’s always going to be the same group of monsters or enemies with slightly higher level, and at some point i just. kind of ignore them ngl fnasdmg
i’d rather let them be taken and send some secondary clan member on a transfert mission to let them get some free easy AP for their abilities
another thing that i don’t think works very well are the shops. they upgrated just twice in the entire game, and with the weapons and the armors you find in missions being WAY more powerful than the ones you can buy, or the fact that the items kind of become obsolete the second you start multiclassing (unless you want to train your monsters, which you can do pretty easily by stacking up remedies as soon as you unlock them in a shop, which end up being the Only Item you buy), or the fact that you’re going to end up with WAY more money than necessary, or that by now the special items/link feature is completely obsolete... they’re kind of worthless
RESULT
7.5/10, no i don’t take criticism
might turn into a 8 if i actually manage to 100% the game fnsdmg
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Double Discipline
-Satan and Lucifer give MC a special punishment-
(Happy Birthday Finn 😏😉)
I knocked on Satan’s bedroom door. It was about 10 PM. He had sent me a text asking me to come see him, which was definitely odd for him. I wasn’t sure what he could be wanting, but I had nothing better to do right now, so I went along with it. He called for me to come in, so I entered and closed the door behind me. Satan was sitting in his reading chair in the corner, book in hand.
“I’m here, what did you want?” I asked.
“Wow, you sound so excited to see me.” He said sarcastically.
“Sorry. Of course I’m happy to see you. It just isn’t like you to invite me over at night like this.”
“Hmm...I suppose you’re right.” He scratched his head and looked away from me, seeming a little embarrassed. “To be honest, I just wanted to see you. We’ve been so busy with school that I feel like we don’t get to spend very much time together. I just wanted to catch you before you went to bed.” His cheeks turned a light shade of pink.
“Awww!” I giggled, unable to contain my smile. I walked over and sat on the arm of Satan’s chair, petting his head. “You’re sooo adorable. I’m happy to spend time with you!”
“Hey! Don’t pet me like some animal...” He swatted my hand away and scowled at me. I ignored him and pinched his cheek. That was the last straw, and Satan stood up, grabbing my wrists. He was smiling now, which was a relief. I giggled some more as he tried to wrestle me into submission, but I just kept fighting him.
“Okay okay! Ow! I’ll stop, just let me go!” I was laughing out loud now. Satan released my hands and I gave him a devious look before I unleashed a full on tickle attack, pinching his sides. He curled up and started laughing, swinging an arm over my head to place me in a headlock. I tried to pull myself out, but he was strong. Finally he loosened his grip, but I was pulling at the same time, so I ended up flying backwards. I stumbled a little and bumped into the shelf behind me. I gasped as a bottle tipped over and onto the floor, smashing into tiny pieces. Whatever liquid was inside started to saturate the carpet.
“Careful!” Satan exclaimed, quickly kneeling over to clean up the mess as best he could. I tried to help him, quickly picking up the tiny shards of glass.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to...” I was embarrassed by my clumsiness. Eventually we got the glass picked up, but there was still a wet spot on the floor.
“That was a special potion I got from a witch...it was hundreds of years old, never used. I was saving it for a time when I might need it...” he sighed, shaking his head at me.
“I’m really, really sorry, Satan. I feel really bad...but at the same time...”
“At the same time what?” Satan shot me an annoyed look.
“At the same time, it was your fault too. You were the one who started the rough housing. You should know better than to start a wrestling match in a place with so many delicate items.” I smirked at him and crossed my arms. I could see the frustration grow on his face, because he knew I was right. He took a step closer to me and placed his finger under my chin, staring into my eyes.
“You mocked me, you broke a valuable item of mine, and now you’re back talking me? You’ve crossed the line. I think you need to be punished.” His eyes lit up with power and lust, and I felt the breath escaping my lungs.
“W-what kind of punishment?” I stuttered. He pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me, pinning my wrists down.
“Whatever I see fit. Maybe I’ll fuck you until you’re sore.” He said matter-of-factly. My heart felt like it burst into flames, hearing words like that come out of his mouth. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. But it didn’t matter, because Satan quickly started kissing me. He pressed his lips against mine firmly and pushed his tongue inside, teasing my own tongue playfully. He started undressing me, making quick work of my shirt and bottoms. He kissed my neck all over as he removed my underwear and started pleasuring me below. He bit and sucked on my neck, and I gasped a little at the sting it left. I moaned softly as he stimulated me, rubbing me quickly. He slipped a finger into me and worked it deep, slowly massaging me inside. I moaned a little louder and squirmed in excitement.
Satan gave me another passionate, aggressive kiss before flipping me over on my stomach. He undressed himself and pulled my hips up, pressing his hard cock against me and slowly rubbing into me. I pushed back into him, eager to have him inside.
“Don’t get too excited...I’m not going to go easy on you. After all, you’re being punished, remember?” He teased me, grabbing my ass firmly to remind me who was in charge. He pushed the head of his cock inside me first, and then thrust his hips, penetrating me deep. I moaned as he slid in, and looked back to see the satisfied look on his face. He caught me peaking, and took a fistful of my hair, pulling it back and my head along with it. He started fucking me, his cock hammering deeper and deeper into me. I let out a loud groan of pleasure.
“Ahhn...Satan...”
“Sssh!” He shushed me, letting go of my hair. He stopped thrusting and stayed completely still. I was confused at first, but in the silence I heard footsteps approaching.
Before either of us could move, the doorknob started to turn and the door opened. There stood Lucifer. His normal, stern expression twisted into a look of confusion. It felt like time was standing still, and I was mortified. I was panicking, yet I couldn’t move. I was frozen.
“What are you two doing...?” He asked, stepping in and closing the door quietly behind him. I couldn’t fathom why he would choose to come inside instead of fleeing in horror. But this was the Devildom, and they were demons. I suppose they had seen many unsightly things in their life time, and probably participated too.
“What does it look like?” Satan scoffed. He was still inside of me, as we had stayed completely still this whole time. Lucifer walked farther into the room, slowly slipping his gloves off. He lay them on Satan’s desk and began tapping his fingers on the surface.
“It looks like you’ve got someone in a very compromising position right now.” He smirked down at me. My face must have been beet red, and I was still frozen like a statue. “Tell me, how did this happen to you? How did you get yourself trapped in such a way?” He teased.
It took me a second to come to my senses and realize he was speaking to me. I felt Satan give my hip a squeeze. I looked up at Lucifer, my heart about to explode out of my chest.
“I...I broke something on accident...and n-now I’m being punished...” the words barely escaped my trembling lips. The same lustful flame I saw in Satan’s eyes was now ablaze in Lucifer’s. He stepped closer to me and slowly began to unbutton his shirt, one by one. Satan began to slowly slide his cock in and out again, and I felt a wave of both fear and excitement wash over me. Apparently Satan was willing to accept some help in administering his discipline.
Lucifer unbuttoned his pants and slipped out of them, not wasting any time with his underwear either. Satan began to fuck me a little faster and I was trying to contain my moans. Lucifer’s hard cock was right in front of me now, and he took my hair in his hands.
“It sounds like my brother decided he needed to teach you a lesson...and I won’t take that from him. Actually, I think I’ll help. Just to make sure you really learn.” His voice was soft and low. He tapped on my lips with a single finger, and I got the message. I opened my mouth and he pushed his cock inside. I started to suck on it, now completely overtaken by the brothers. Satan thrust into me harder and harder, showing me no mercy as he fucked me from behind. Lucifer started thrusting his hips a little too, shoving his cock deeper into my mouth until I was nearly gagged. I sucked hard and used my tongue to please him, muffled moans escaping me as I felt Satan’s cock hitting so deep inside me.
I felt tingles through my whole body as both demons began giving me soft moans, satisfied with the pleasure they were getting from using me. Satan leaned over me as he fucked me faster, kissing the back of my neck. Lucifer fucked my mouth quickly and used his thumb to wipe away a tear that was forming in my eye. I felt like I could barely breathe as I was ravished by them, but I didn’t care, I had never been filled with this much lust.
Eventually Satan pulled out of me, ready to switch things up. Lucifer took the lead now. He sat on the bed behind me and pulled me to him, shoving himself inside me so that I was sitting on his cock as he sat upright underneath me. He began to thrust up into me, and I met his rhythm, riding his huge cock, moving up and down quickly. Satan watched for a moment as I used his brother’s cock to pleasure myself, but then he got down and started licking me, using his mouth and tongue to stimulate me outside while Lucifer pounded me deep inside. I stayed still then, allowing them both to work on me. Lucifer thrust upwards quickly again and again, and Satan went down on me, making sure to tease all the right spots with his tongue. I groaned loudly, grabbing and pulling Satan’s hair, trying not to go over the edge and cum right then. Lucifer exhaled a low moan too, fucking me hard and deep.
“Ahh...! Fuck...! Im gonna cum!” As they both went faster, my groans reached full volume, and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I tensed up and felt a hot sensation racing through my whole body, all the way down to my toes, finally giving myself over to the powerful orgasm. The brothers moved off of me and let me catch my breath, but I could tell by their devilish glare that they weren’t done with me yet.
“Come down off the bed, and get on your knees.” Lucifer commanded. I obeyed, kneeling before them. Lucifer grabbed my hair and shoved his cock into my mouth again. I sucked it and took it as deep as I could without choking. Satan stepped closer and I took his cock in my hand, stroking it firmly, squeezing and massaging around the head. After a moment Lucifer pulled away, leaving my face all messy with spit. He pushed my face over to Satan, and my mouth was filled again with Satan’s hard staff. I sucked again, now rubbing Lucifer with my hand. They took turns using my mouth, and I sensed them becoming eager to cum. They both took their cock in their hand then, quickly rubbing themselves. I opened my mouth, ready to receive their loads. Satan came first, gasping a little and sighing in relief as he covered my face in hot, sticky cum. Lucifer followed seconds later, hitting me right on the tongue and into my mouth. I looked up at their flushed, tired expressions, streaks of cum decorating my face and running down my chin. I swallowed what was left in my mouth, and wiped a little away from my eye. They were panting, just taking in my appearance.
After it was over, Lucifer didn’t stick around. He dressed and left the room without saying a word. Satan allowed me to get cleaned up in his bathroom, but he had an embarrassed blush on his face that never left from the moment he got dressed. I came out of the bathroom, feeling pretty awkward myself. I was just ready to get back to my room so I could process what the hell had just happened. But I couldn’t just walk out silently like Lucifer did. So I went to Satan and kissed his cheek, and offered the first words that came to mind.
“Sorry I broke your bottle of potion.”
I stepped quickly out the door and almost slammed it behind me.
#obey me#obey me fanfic#obey me smut#smut#fanfiction#obey me fanfiction#obey me satan#obey me lucifer#satan#lucifer
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My Damn Reflection
Request in which Ashton dates someone with an eating disorder.
A/N: I think that as a creative person, it’s important for me not to shy away from creating things on topics that might make others uncomfortable. That being said, I will A.) tag this fic accordingly and B.) make the disclaimer that I myself have no experience with having an ED, and therefore acknowledge that my (incredibly brief and basic) research is no substitute for anyone’s real experiences. And to you, my dear followers, you are beautiful as you are, so please take care of yourself.
Content warning: Eating disorders, body issues, issues with body image, etc.
Word count: 940
And away, and away we go!
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“You okay?” Ashton asked as you picked at your dinner.
“Mhm,” you nodded, your fork pushing the food around your plate. “Why?”
“Well, you’re just not eating. Do you not like it?”
“No, it’s great!” You offered a half smile, forcing yourself to take a bite, chewing slowly.
“You’re not gonna hurt my feelings if you don’t like it. It’s okay.”
“No,” you continued, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “Your cooking’s fine, babe. I’m just not that hungry, I guess.”
“Oh… are you sure?” He clapped a hand over his mouth as the latter part of his statement fell out. “Sorry. Forget I asked. If you’re not hungry, you’re not hungry.”
“No worries.” Again, you gave him a half smile, your insides starting to churn.
Ashton went back to eating his own dinner, while you continued to push your food around in circles, wondering if the small bite you had was already making you look bloated. You sighed inwardly, betting that it was. Eating always made you look bloated. And you hated looking bloated. “Okay,” Ashton spoke suddenly. “I can’t. I’m trying, but I can’t. I haven’t seen you eat all day. How are you not hungry? I don’t get it.”
“I’m just not…”
“Don’t lie to me,” he said, his voice soft. “I’m not blind. I know you do this a lot. I just wanna know why. I’m worried about you.”
“Well, don’t. I’m a grown ass adult.”
“I’m your boyfriend. I’m gonna worry about you, love. I can’t help that.”
“And I can’t help that I’m not hungry.”
“Fine.”
Neither of you spoke another word on the subject, until he caught you staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, twisting your body this way, and that way, scrutinizing every inch. “Like what you see?” he flirted, his arms wrapping around your midsection, a kiss landing on your cheek with an exaggerated smack.
“Parts of it,” you answered honestly.
“Mmm, tell me,” he said, his hazel eyes watching you both in the mirror. When you described him, he frowned. “That’s me…”
“Yeah. That's what I like in the mirror.”
“I meant you, love. What do you like about you?”
“Is this about me not eating again? I told you. I wasn’t hungry.”
“No. This is about me asking you what you like about yourself when you see your reflection. But if you think there’s a connection between my concern at dinner and my concern now, then maybe we should talk about that.”
“Talk about what?!” you finally snapped, your eyes narrowing. “That I wanna slam my fist through this stupid mirror because I hate how I look in it? Or that I hate how I wanna go downstairs, and eat all the food in the cupboards until I puke it all back up on the floor? Which talk do you wanna have?!”
Ashton’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t take the bait. His concern for you wasn’t supposed to be a fight. “Come with me,” he said instead, leading you out of the bathroom and towards the full length mirror in place besides the dresser. “Sit,” he instructed in a tone that left no room for argument.
“What are you doing?” you asked, as he took a seat behind you, pulling you into his lap.
“If you can listen to that lying voice in your head, then you can listen to mine telling you the truth. Do you wanna know what I see when I look at you?”
“What?”
“I see someone who is strong. And smart. Someone who’s kind, and who would move heaven and earth if it meant your loved ones didn’t suffer. Someone who lights up any room they walk into. Someone people look up to. Someone who is so incredibly beautiful inside and out, that it physically hurts me sometimes. And someone who I wish you would treat with the same love and respect that you treat everyone else with.”
“Well, that’s great and all. But it still doesn’t change what I see.”
“Fair enough,” Ashton nodded, rising to his feet as another idea came to him. He held his hand out to help you up. “C’mon.”
“Oh, now what?” you asked, dragging your feet as you followed him. “What are you doing?” you asked when he grabbed a small hand mirror.
“Just trust me.”
A few moments later found you both sitting outside, the small hand mirror and a hammer between you. “Smash it,” he said simply, handing you the hammer.
“The mirror? It’ll break.”
“I know.”
“The glass is gonna get everywhere.”
“I’ll get the broom.”
You raised an eyebrow, and the hammer hesitantly. “You’re sure?”
“Positive. Smash it to bits.”
You brought the hammer down lightly on the mirror, a giant crack running across it.
“Harder! C’mon!” Ashton encouraged.
The next hit chipped out a small piece, more fissures forming.
“That mirror is everything you hate about yourself! Hit it! Break it the same way it breaks you!”
With an angry yell, you took out every frustration you ever had with your body out on the mirror. Every skipped meal. Every calorie you painstakingly counted. Every sweet treat devoured on a binge. Each one was a new hit, glass shards clinking as they hit the concrete. Sweat and tears ran down your face, your chest heaving with the effort until you finally let the hammer fall to the side.
“Better?” Ashton asked, his fingers carefully picking up one of the bigger, jagged pieces.
You nodded. “Yeah.”
“Good.” From his pocket, he produced a Sharpie, writing something on the piece before handing it to you. You are perfect. I love you. -A
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Tag List
@frontmanash @goeatsomelife @flameraine @creator-appreciator @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @sparkling-calm @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession @gosh-im-short @aquarius-hood1996 @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @philthepegacorn @ashtonlftv @miirandaaa @karajaynetoday @myfavfanficsever @stormrider505 @cashtonisruiningmylife @another-lonely-heart
#my damn reflection#ashton irwin#ashton irwin blurb#5sos#galcal irwin#tw: eating disorders#tw: eating problems#tw: body image#tw: body issues
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Fading Summer
He held the purple controller with deadly hands, sitting shoulder to shoulder, feet from the TV with Kirishima, Denki, and Deku. The N64 you brought into the dorms has been the center of attention since you pulled it out of the dull cardboard box . Purple grape with one purple grape controller and the other jungle green. The other two controllers where black and midnight blue that you, the ash blonde, Kiri and Mina spent hours....weeks finding so more people could play either Mario kart or Smash bros together.
At first the scarlet eyed boy was aprahensive about the old gaming system. He saw how Kirishima and Pikachu would spend hours upon hours on their shared switch that could have been spent studying or training.
That was until he was challenged by you one lazy afternoon.
"Come on Katsu play one game with us!!!" Eiji begged, patting a spot between you and himself. Katasuki lounged on the couch, legs outstretched as he was planning to watch a movie before you two barged in.
Before you used your puppy dog eyes to get the remote so you two could play.
"No shark face." He sneered over the rim of his book. He locked eyes with you before a smile crept onto those soft lips.
"He's just scared he'll get his asked kicked is all Eiji." She said haunty, as she selected her character.
"Oh like hell I am." He snarls, climbing from the couch and forcing you and Kiri to scoot away from one another to make room.
He never could ignore the call of a challenge. And from then on he bested everyone, everytime in whatever game but you.
When he asked why you wouldn't want a switch instead your face lit up, as if reliving the bitter sweet nostalgia as you said.
"I've just had so many good times playing this with my friends and family. I just can't give it up."
So he had learned to love the feeling of the smooth plastic in his hands as this small thing was something that made him feel closer to you. Especially now that you two spent countless summer hours right here in front of the TV, laughing, shoulder to shoulder with a notebook keeping score of each others wins.
A notebook that lies open to the dark eyed boy, displaying the harsh tallies of class 1As winnings, everyone had at least one inky black tally before Katsuki played.
Everyone but you who had been absent since finishing dinner. His eyes wander to the stairs leading to the girls dorms before "PLAYER ONE WINNER" is bellowed from the TV.
"Come on Katsu let someone else win!" Mina whines as she pouts on the couch
"Nah you dip shits should just get better." He says dropping the controller to make his way to the couch.
"Where's Y/N?" Deku asks earning a glare from the ash blonde for asking first, "She's missing the last tournament before school starts again."
"Oh she said she wasn't feeling too well at dinner." Momo says, bringing the snacks from the kitchen. "She said she was going to bed."
You press the heels of your palms into your eyes.
"Get your shit together." You growl harshly at your reflection. Fat tears threatening to spill again, "Why are you crying over something so fucking stupid!"
Your reflection doesn't answer as you stare yourself in the eye, it only mirrors you splashing hot water onto your face as you scrub a towel over your cheeks.
When you hold eye contact again, it's as if you weren't crying.
You paced in your room, damning yourself for thinking sleep would soothe the weighted void that sits in your chest. Chiseling away at your heart until you were compelled to move.
To run, if even for a moment to have a taste of the dying summer air on your tongue one more time.
You stalk down the stairs quietly, having waited long enough for the tournament to be over. The light from the TV glows faintly in the dark hallway, you eased into the shadows on silent feet with your eyes on the prize.
"Oi, You're not as quiet as you think you are." You jump what feels like six feet in the air. Hand hovering over the cool handle of the front door.
The gruff voice comes from the direction of the living room and you do not need to turn around to know who it belongs too.
You thought for sure that whoever was in the living room was either knocked out or absorbed in the late night TV.
You feel your heart hammer in your chest, blinking furiously at the lingering tears. You're afraid your voice might give you away but your hesitation will tip him off.
"Oh Katsu, you're up so late. And on the first school night!" You tease him as you normally would, though you keep your back to him, he sucks his teeth.
"And where are you going at 10:30 at night?" You don't have to see him to know he is crossing his arms with distaste.
"Im just stepping out to the convenience store." You huff, not sure how much longer you can use your voice evenly.
The sun had already set so early tonight compared to the rest of summer. The sun no longer wanting to kiss the earth, to kiss you for over eight hours a day.
No it was dwindling and dwindling fast.
And that *scared* you.
"This late? By yourself? I don't think so." He says darkly. Hiding the concern in his voice the only way he knows how, with malice.
"Oh Katsuki-kun. I'm a strong independent young hero. I can handle myself for a ten minute walk." Except it won't be a ten minute walk, your feet will urge you further. You pull the handle and with it the door just for it to be slammed shut by a hot palm. He looms over you now, so close you can feel his breath on your ear when he speaks.
"Not by yourself. It can wait til morning. If its medicine I'll get it." You feel his eyes on you as they survey, you bite your lip debating on tricking him.
On sending him on a wild goose chase just so you could sneak out on that ten minute walk.
But you think better of it, he would be honest with you if the shoe was on the other foot and I'm sure he'd want you to be honest now.
Whether you wanted to admit it or not you knew in the back of your head that Bakugou Katsuki could read you like a book and vice versa.
It was only natural with how much time the two of you spent together this summer.
This now decaying summer that you could smell in the air after the rain, the slight smell of decomposing leaves that is so faint you almost think it false until Mina made that damn comment this afternoon. Wrapped in her hot pink towel, yellow eyes glued on Kiri who wrestles with Katsu in the pool.
*"Its gonna be winter before we know it." *
And those words hadn't left you since.
Not even now under the heated gaze of your crush.
The one who kinda reminded you of summer itself.
Hot, explosive like a storm and almost unpredictable.
"I'm going Katsuki." You say darkly, most you faulter but he is not like most, "So you can either let me go alone or you come with me."
He scarlet eyes rover over you, unsure of what you're feeling in the low cast of the moonlight from outside but your tone tells him something is wrong whatever it is.
Something tells him you aren't going to the corner store either.
"Fine." He bites out, resisting the urge to push you against the door to tell you that you are not going, instead he pushes away, "Just let me grab my fucking phone."
He walks backwards to the living room sending you a glare before turning on his heel.
A glare in warning not to leave without him. So you don't.
He huffs as the two of you walk in silence, eyes watching the corner store fade behind the both of you.
"So where are we really headed?" He sighs in mock agony.
"You'll see!!" Your mood has improved some, at least since you pulled in a giant breathe of air when the two of you stepped outside.
The crickets still singing in the warm night, calling to you in their song.
Your eyes look to the sky to see the full moon, your whole body relishing the warmth of the night time air. Smile so wide on your face that it hurts.
A smile that Katsuki finds contagious as his lips turn upwards, eyes glued to you.
You hear a clock chime signaling the time and you gasp, grabbing onto Katsuki's rough hand, dragging him as you break into a full spring.
"We're gonna miss the train!" You yell to him which encourages him to keep pace.
Once the doors close behind you, you both grip your knees gasping for air.
The only other person on the late night train smiles, eyes twinkling with sudden memories of their own late nights.
"Where the fuck are we going?" Katsuki asks with little bite in his voice as you settle in front of the window.
"Its a secret!!!" You sing song as the train rushes by scenery that he watches you drink up as if this is the last time you'll see it.
It isn't until the train crosses the bridge does he realize you two are headed to the last stop.
Which come faster than he'd like, only now is he realizing he could watch you stare out at the stars all night, the train chimes overhead and you stand pulling him once more.
You find yourselves in a huge crowd and you smile pulling him further through the throngs of people. You stop when you see little stands set up every where filled to the brim even so late at night. You stop suddenly to ask a woman in a beautiful yukata that shimmers in pinks and golds like the setting sun.
"Excuse me what is this?" You ask politely, your curiosity earning a huge smile.
"Ah this is the End of the Summer Festival!" When she says the word end you squeeze Katsuki's hand tighter, "All things summer is here for you to enjoy!"
He watches your face almost become crest fallen.
"Why so late in the day," His tone comes out harsh and the woman glances between the two of you giving a small blush.
"Ah it's an all day event so everyone can enjoy it! Some people work so late they were missing it and others just couldnt say good bye to summer before sunset. Please enjoy the festival!"
You blink hard and try to take in your surroundings. You spy many little market stands filled with food, games and hell even an arcade.
Katsuki does not pull away from your soft grip on his hand, in fact his interlocks your fingers so you can pull him better. You don't look back when he does it and you don't look back as you pull him through the stands.
You start by buying you both Yakitori, followed by mouthwatering Ayu, some Takoyaki and all sumed up by sweet Taiyaki.
That is until you spot the famous colored cotton candy shaped like a fat unicorn horn.
Katsuki does not complain while he waits in line with you, your eyes finding your next adventure. He does not complain when you ask him to take a picture of you underneath the paper lanterns, that hit you in such a way that he cannot take his eyes off of you, or your smiling face as you stare at him.
You do not realize he sends the picture to himself as you slide your hand back into his offering him some of the sugary string to which he takes a large bite.
Letting the sugar dissolve agaisnt his tongue he wonders if your lips will be as sweet if not sweeter. He blushes but you do not notice as you drag him to a game.
"Step right up! Only 500 yen!" The man calls, "Break the record of seven watermelons with one punch and win the grand prize!"
Your eyes widen with glee as you see the oversized cat plush holding your favorite dessert, a taiyaki bun, in its obnoxiously cute black paws. The thing is so cute and sweet just looking at it makes Katsuki a little nauseous but when he sees the want glinting in your eyes he reluctantly releases your hand with out your asking to crack his neck.
"Alright line up as many as you've got." His eyes gleam with competative arrogance, forearm dancing with small explosions.
"Alright. If you can do 10 then I will throw in 10,000 yen." The elderly man says smugly lining up over 25 watermelons.
"Heh. Get ready to pay up gramps. Oh and of course I want that cat too."
"Sure thing kid. But you gotta get seven if you wanna win that for your pretty girlfriend over there." He laughs and Katsuki's cheeks burn with rage and blush.
He winds up and packs it with punch as he slams his fist into the first watermelon obliterating it and the shock from the blast causes the other 25 watermelons to explode as well. You squeal with delight.
"KATSUKI-KUN YOU WON!" Practically jumping with joy over his triumph confirming that he would do it all over again just to see you that happy.
Even if it took him braking 25,000 watermelons he would fucking do it for just a glimpse of the smile you've been hiding the past few days.
Katsuki smirks with manic malice as he jumps up to grab the oversized cat before holding out his hand.
The elderly man stands in uter shock as he stares down the red mess before him hesitant as he digs around for his little silver box of cash. He counts out the 10k yen sending you two on your way.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" You say as you squeeze the hell out of the cat, still jumping. Katsu sucks his teeth unable to keep the genuine smile off of his own face.
"It was nothing." He says as you slip your ever soft palm to his. His skin buzzes everytime yours touches his and he gladly let's you take the lead.
"Ah I'm thirsty after all that excitement." You beam, Bakugou spies a soda stand, fingering the easily got yen in his pocket.
"I'll get us a cherry soda, stay put." He says as he stands you off to the side since the line is hatefully long. He stares down at his phone at the picture of you he just took, smiling like a mad man as he waits.
You will always be worth the wait.
"This is your final warning." You growl darkly, causing Bakguou to look up with sharp eyes. He sees you placing the stuffed animal on the bench as this guy harasses you.
"Come on sugar tits." Katsuki practically blows up in line then and there as he stalks towards your back. He slips his right arm around your front pressing into your left hip bone pushing you into his body. He tilts his head as he left hand ignites inches from the guys face.
"Did you just fucking call *my* girl sugar tits?" His voice is so dark near your ear that you blush, letting your quirk fade from your palms.
And did he just say my girl?
Your gut clenches as he pulls you impossibly closer. Hand still letting off pops.
"I think you owe her a fucking apology before I make you sorry you ever thought you could disrespect a woman like that you stupid fuck."
"I..I'm sorry." The guy stammers with his now burnt off eyebrows as he bows deeply.
"Grab Neko-chan, Y/N." Katsuki purrs in your ear barely letting you go to do so. You hold onto the cat with all your might, heart banging against your rib cage as you overthink the encounter.
He was just doing it to be nice right?
You hesitantly reach for his hand before changing your mind. He glances at you with searing red eyes offering you his open palm.
"Where to next?" He asks, you stare at the invitation, frozen for a moment before you grab onto him with a strong hold.
"This way!" You smile taking him and Neko-chan in tow. You lead him to the small arcade challanging him to see who can win the most in street fighter.
He somehow kicks your ass by one match and you smile at this genuine excitement for victory. He catches you staring as you blush, nuzzling half of your face into Neko-chan's fur, making your eyes seem larger and doe like.
Katsuki swallows, more blush dusting his cheeks as he asks is a gruff tone.
"Whatchya starin at?" You giggle in response.
"Nothing!" You fight another giggle, arms tightening around black fur, "I just like your real smile is all."
He sucks his teeth and looks away not trusting himself to ignore the urge to shove that damn plush out of the way to see the smile you're hiding behind it, or to keep himself from kissing those lips that are curled up.
"I'll be right back." He leans in close to you with nothing separating you two but Neko-chan, "Try not to let anyone else hit on ya kay?"
"K...kay." He's pretty sure that's the first time you've stumbled over your words, positive that's the first time he's seen your cheeks so red.
On the way back from the bathroom he spies two little necklaces in the display case of prizes. One is a purple N64 console and the other is the matching controller. He likes the idea of them around your neck thanks to him and taps the counter with his freshly won 10,000 yen tapping at the set.
He produces the two small chains and watches as your eyes light up.
"Aaahhh!" You say separating the two as you slide the N64 console around your neck, holding out the controller to him. He frowns as he glares at it.
"You're supposed to wear both." He growls, though his grimace fades with every second you stare at him.
"No silly they are best friend necklaces!!!" You half sequal as you shove it over his neck. You tuck it beneath his black skull shirt, "See now it's our secret."
You smile a devilish smirk before you glance at the time on the analog clock behind him. You grab onto his hand with a death grip.
"Katsuki come on we are gonna miss it!" You whine as you drag him back into the busy street further and further through the festival until the people are so few and far between he wonders where you're taking him.
That is until his smells the tang of salted air brought in by what is normally a refreshing breeze that feels chilled from the changing seasons.
You rush him to the sand, breathing in the heavily summer scent, kicking off your shoes to feel the once warmed sand.
"Come on Katsuki-kun come on!" You urge as he fights with his own shoes willing to follow you to the ends of the Earth and it feels that way where you're taking him. Past a small bonfire to a secluded part of the beach where the moon hangs high over the ocean.
One can see all of the stars in the universe there in that little spot, his eyes look up drinking it all in before looking at an even more beautiful sight.
His heart skips a beat as your eyes dance in the starlight, cheeks now moon kissed and hair ruffled from the wind off the ocean, you close your eyes for just a moment to breath it all in.
The last bit of summer that you can smell before it all begins to disappear into sharper, more crisp smells.
He's close enough to you that he can smell the salt and sugar clinging to your skin, to your lips. He sighs, content for once in his life. Then the stars begin to fall in the deep reflection of your eyes.
"Katsu look!" You whisper shout and he follows your gaze to watch the sky fall.
"Make a wish make a wish!" You urge again and he silently prays that this moment will never end.
But sadly it does, as quickly as it came it went and your crest fallen face has his heart jumping into his throat. He attempts to swallow it down.
"Something wrong?" He asks so softly you wonder if it is still Bakugou sitting next to you and that one little question causes the tears to spill.
Yes something was wrong, terribly wrong.
"Oi..." He pulls you to him shielding your tears from the world as his hand subconsciously trailed up and down your spine, "Why are you crying? Are you not enjoying the last bit of summer?"
"That's it Katsu that's the problem. S..sum..." You choke on your tears before continuing, "Summer is ending and before you know it, it will be winter again. And then a new year and then summer will have flown by faster and faster until the next thing you know my whole life has slipped through my fingers. And I will be left feeling as if I missed all of it. Just like I am now, like I always do."
You fist his shirt as you cry, let it all out all the horrible thoughts of your life going by in the blink of an eye, as every new winter brings you more and more unhappiness and you are unsure why.
You only find solace in summer as things seem to slow down. When the days are stretched deep into the evening and each hour is blessed with such happy memories. Times of you with your N64, of you spending many hours outside baking in the heat of the sun, of miserable days when even the icecream is happy to melt. And especially this summer, *this* night that you've spent with Katsuki.
Memories you can never replace and pray
Hope and plead to any Kamisama who is listening that they will never allow you to forget.
"Hey it's all right." He soothes, "We can come back to this festival every year to help say good bye."
You hiccup, your tears slowing.
"And if that doesn't work I'll lasso the fucking sun for you. I'll be your summer incarnate. I'll do anything, *anything* to keep my girl smiling. To keep you smiling. All you have to do is fucking name it."
You blink away the tears as you stare up into his face and you can tell he's serious that he means it. Red fireworks erupt over head, lighting his eyes with an undying fire and you kiss him. Kiss him how you wanted to all summer. Slow burn that quickly ignites as your hands grab onto one another. Each fire work encouraging deeper and deeper kisses until you pull away. Almost gasping for breath. Your skin feeling heated as it does when you lie out in the sun too long. You hold his gaze, heart fluttering, eyes pricking with tears once more.
"Then lasso me the fucking sun, Katsuki."
#bakugou x reader#mha bakugou#bnha katsuki#bnha kacchan#bnha#bnha bakugou#bnha x reader#bnha imagines#bnha imagine#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugo#bakugo x fem reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo imagine
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alright i know no one knows who lette is but im gonna just. rewrite the whole lette and balur meet will scene from the first book and im adding my s/i bc... hell yeah, so if u wanna know abt how wren and lette meet, here’s a hastily put together fic!!
basially for backstory: Wren and Will grew up together. They live in a place ruled by dragons that tax the people to death. Will gets visited by the dragon’s guards and is told he didn’t pay his taxes, though he did, and they are going to take his farm and arrest him. He basically fucks everything up and the guards set fire to his farm, so he runs before they can kill him. this picks up there!
WARNINGS FOR VIOLENCE, DEATH, KINDA GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS??? IT’S A MEDIEVAL FANTASY FIGHT SCENE THERE R SWORDS AND DEATH IM SORRY!! also it’s gay
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The sight of her childhood friend’s farm up in flames had Wren’s heart in her throat. Were she standing still, her hands would be quite visibly shaking, but she wasn’t standing still. She couldn’t stand still. Not yet. It wasn’t safe yet. Will wasn’t safe yet.
Her feet pounded rhythmically against the forest floor of Breccan Woods. She had caught a glimpse of the familiar mop of brown hair dashing into the tree cover in the flickering light of the blazing fire. Her best friend needed her help, and the poor farm boy surely wouldn’t be able to survive in these woods alone. Breccan Woods was gnarly after nightfall. Ogres, goblins, and every creature in between crept through the shadows in search of rogue passersby. Why he had decided this to be a good idea, she couldn’t understand.
Her eyes flickered up through the cover of the trees. Through the gaps flashing by, she caught sight of the familiar form soaring overhead in the pale moonlight. The young, loyal falcon kept a close eye on the farm boy as she had instructed him to, and now all Wren needed to do was follow the bird’s lead.
The night stretched on, and the woods seemed endless. At some point the cover became too much, and she lost sight of her feathered companion. She could only hope she was headed in the right direction, and that he was headed for the hills like she thought he was.
A steady rainfall soaked the already dangerously jagged path beneath her boots. Her clothes were soaked through, and she swore the cold had seeped through to her very bones. Everything seemed to be going downhill very quickly, which is why she felt such a rush of relief when the trees gave way to a towering wall of rock leading up into the mountains she knew so well. And who was that entering a newly opened cave entrance?
Wren’s eyes widened, and she pushed herself forward again, pushing back the cries of protest from her overexerted muscles. The falcon circling overhead dove towards his master and settled himself on her shoulder, his claws digging into the layers of leather and chainmail adorning her upper body. The woman scrambled towards the cave opening and practically collapsed inside, only to choke on the foul stench that reached her nose.
She forced back a gag at the odor of gods only know what, but she had no time to think over the possibilities, as mere moments later a familiar male voice let out a fearful shriek. Another high squeal followed just after, and it didn’t even have time to go silent before Wren’s sword was drawn and at the ready.
Torches began to light the cave, illuminating not only the ash covered face of Will, but also the snarling faces of a full horde of goblins. Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. Of course. Of course Will had to choose the one gods hexed cave that was filled with goblins. She twirled the sword in her hand and took a step forward.
“Sorry,” Will’s shaking voice echoed off the walls. “Wrong cave, my one’s a few entrances down.”
Wren rolled her eyes, far too used to Will’s antics by now to linger on this for long. She took a few more bold steps forward to stand protectively in front of the quivering man. She held her sword out towards the goblins as they continued to make their way slowly towards the pair. “We’ll be off, then,” she insisted, more to the man behind her than the other creatures in the cave. She wasn’t entirely sure if Will was capable of moving, but she hoped that the reminder would be able to kick start his mobility.
She was wrong. A threatening, collective growl rumbled through the space, erupting from every little creature closing in. Wren held her free hand behind her back to push Will towards the mouth of the cave. The falcon on her shoulder screeched and flapped his wings in resistance to the threat toward his master.
An unfamiliar howl cut through the air, roaring from behind her rather than in front of her as she expected. A squeal of fright left Will’s lips as he threw his arms over his head and dropped to his knees. A large, burly blur darted past Wren and barreled into the horde. A beat of silence. All of this happened seemingly in the same second.
And then all hell broke loose.
Battle cries erupted from every side, and Wren wasted no time before rushing forward and slashing at an oncoming goblin with her blade. The large scaly creature that had joined them and started the attack wielded a hammer against the beings, swinging and smashing them to bits with a satisfied howl. Somewhere behind Wren, she registered another figure fighting, this one far smaller but easily just as deadly, it appeared. Each goblin attempting to escape the cave entrance met the end of this new contender’s blades, which were dual wielded in either hand.
A lull in the battle on Wren’s end allowed her to take a good look at this new what seemed to be an ally. Her grip on the hilt of her sword tightened until her knuckles turned white at the sight she was met with. There, in the entrance of the cave’s mouth, silhouetted an armor clad woman slicing away at the endless droves of goblins attempting to both flee and attack all at once. Fiery red tinted hair was swept up in a messy ponytail at the back of her head, and the shorter strands that had escaped the hair band stuck to her sweat slick skin. Angular facial features set into a snarl, and her eyes glinted with a type of fury Wren had never seen before. Yet the grace this woman fought with showed that her anger did little in terms of blinding her skill. It looked like more of a dance routine than a fight. This was not war, this was art. She stood at a shorter stature than Wren herself, which was surely saying something, but her size didn’t weaken her in any way. That much was clear through the steadily climbing death count she was racking up.
Wren found herself so enamored with the sight of this newcomer that she almost forgot about the fight she was partaking in. A goblin threw itself at her, and the falcon on her shoulder screeched in just enough time for her to spin on her heel and swing her blade through the air to slice the creature midair. She twirled out of the way so the lifeless body could fall to the rock floor instead of hitting her in the chest and soiling her clothes further than they already were.
The fight ended rather quickly with such skilled fighters on her side, and soon enough she allowed herself to collapse against the wall of the cave. Her sword clattered to the ground by her side.
The newcomers didn’t seem to feel as relieved with the end of the battle. Now that Wren could take in the woman’s companion, she felt her mind twist in confusion. She had never seen, nor even HEARD of a creature like this. He stood at about eight feet tall, covered in huge, tough scales that resembled body armor. He was nothing but muscle and blood lust as he looked down upon the victims of the previous slaughter. He and the woman looked to each other and gave a nonchalant shrug.
“See?” His rumbling voice boomed, far too loud for the enclosed space. “That is being more fun than baking.”
The woman scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Shut up and start looking for the purse,” she snapped before whirling around on her heels and jabbing a finger in Will’s direction. “You. Have you seen a purse?”
Will’s eyes widened almost comically. “M-me?” He stuttered.
“No, the other helpful bystander standing just behind you.”
“Well,” Will began with a furrowed brow, trying to take a not-so-sly look behind him in case she was being serious. “I wasn’t sure if you meant her!” He waved a hand in Wren’s direction across the cave, who simply raised an exhausted brow. She reached a hand up and wiped the sweat away from her forehead with the back of her hand.
“She pointed at you, not at me, dumb ass,” she growled out. Today had not gone according to plan, and the last thing she needed was her best friend to embarrass her in front of the most attractive girl she’d seen in a long while.
Speaking of the attractive woman, she cast an amused smirk in Wren’s direction, her eyes flickering up and down her appearance as if to size her up. Wren felt as though the woman could see through to her very soul, and she shuffled her feet on the rock floor with uncertainty. She wasn’t used to much attention, much less attention from a pretty girl. This was a bit overwhelming.
The telltale crack of bones snapping echoed through the cave as the lizard creature tossed two of the bodies of the goblins into the cave wall. They fell to the ground in a heap, and Wren couldn’t help but wince at the sight and sound.
The woman’s face softened ever so slightly, and she tilted her head the tiniest fraction. “Not how you spend your typical evening?”
Wren huffed in faux amusement. “Not even a typical day for us.” She nodded her head in Will’s direction.
The woman finally allowed herself to smile - a real smile, one that crinkled her eyes and brought to life a dimple on one of her cheeks. Wren’s stomach flipped at the sight. “I’m Lette,” she introduced herself, before nodding to the lizard man accompanying her. “That’s Balur.”
Will remained silent as he peered back and forth between the two newcomers. Wren, however, felt the need to speak up. “What is he?” She wondered aloud, in reference to the lizard creature, or Balur, as she now knew him to be.
It took less than a second for Lette to reply. “An obstinate idiot.”
Balur huffed as he shook another goblin in search of the missing purse and tossed the useless corpse into the growing pile. “You being flirting is not helping us find our purse any faster,” he grumbled, clearly used to the snide remarks by now.
Wren’s cheeks heated up at the insinuation, and she opened her mouth in an attempt to defend herself. She wanted to say that it wasn’t true, that she wasn’t flirting. It would be a lie, but she could still say it. Lette spoke up first. “At least my version of flirting is a little more sophisticated than whipping my britches off and proffering some coin,” she sneered.
Who says you would need to proffer any coin? Wren thought to herself, before immediately shaking her head to get rid of the thought. Not the time for that.
Lette, however, rounded on Will and jabbed a finger in his direction once again. “Get any ideas and I shall feed you your own testicles,” she warned. Will looked about ready to crumble into a pile of pure nervous energy, and he quickly nodded in understanding through the look of utter confusion in his eyes.
It seemed that this was now the time that Will decided he should speak up. “I’m Will,” he began. “I’m a farmer.”
Lette hummed in thought as she turned to Balur. “How about farming?” She suggested quite suddenly. “Working with your hands. Very physically demanding, farm work can be.”
Balur, however, did not seem so keen. “Bad for reflexes. Ruin muscle memory,” he replied, leaving no room for argument. Lette sighed heavily and shook her head in clear annoyance. She turned back to Wren.
“How about you? I highly doubt you’re a farmer with swordsmanship like that.” She nodded her head to the bloodied blade on the ground. “Plus, falcons don’t usually seem to be popular farm animals,” she mused.
Wren chuckled and shook her head. “I’m Wren. I’m a falconer, but I grew up in the bladesmithing business. Got a shop back in town my parents left me. Kinda meant I had to know how to handle any kind of blade out there, you know?”
The corner of Lette’s mouth quirked upwards in the ghost of a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, then, Wren. Maybe I could show you a thing or two sometime, yeah?” She punctuated her sentence with an incredibly obvious wink.
That was all she did before turning away and returning to her task of searching the goblins for the aforementioned purse. Wren was left gaping at the insinuation, her cheeks burning under the sudden attention.
Nice to meet you too, Lette. Very very very nice to meet you.
#Dragon Slaying Girlfriends#this is way longer than i meant it to be#im so sorry#i literally just took most of will's lines and gave them to wren oops!!#also i made it gayer#bc dammit lette is bi as fuck and leans towards women im TELLING U ITS TRUE ITS GOTTA BE#also sorry will but i am stealing ur woman shes mine now love my gf!!!#astra writes
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𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 | teacher!hoseok
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵
jung hoseok / reader
teacher + expecting parents au!
genre: fluff fluff fluff (and a lil baby bit of smut)
+ bullet fic version :)
words: 26k (so maybe read this on a laptop but if you insist on a phone then don’t say i didn’t warn you!!!!)
warnings: graphic language, smidge of nsfw content, student/teacher relationship, jung hoseok being the best boyf and parent ever :(
a/n: y/n is legal !!! hoseok is the typical cliche young teacher !!! i love this story a lot (i plan to write it in full soon!!! just whenever i have time teeheehee) ((also im really sorry the balloons look demonic idk what happened and honestly. too lazy to edit it)) (((this fic is a MONSTER!!! i’m sorry in advance!!!)))
disclaimer: as per freaking usual, keep reading does not work on mobile. i am so sorry because this is SO LONG and big but its ok :( because it’s dad hoseok :(
(gif is not mine!)
happy new year (as a starting note!) i was gone for a long, long time on this blog and did actually consider getting rid of it entirely, however, i’m back to share things that i love and hopefully, you can all enjoy the things i create also. i don’t usually write like this, but i saw a variety of writers adopt a “bullet-list-style” of writing, which i found to be quite efficient. i am the world’s slowest writer and so writing like this actually helps me publish a lot of my ideas without feeling the pressure of writing out like 300k word fics that honestly get ignored. regardless, here’s my first post (technically) of the new year. (this idea has been in my drafts since the “cosykims” days, and og followers will recognise the title.)
now i don’t care what you say, every single school, college or university has that one teacher who is just way too young to actually be a teacher
you briefly remember high-school, with your physics teacher who was just way too young- like borderline could be a student themselves, and yet here they were with their rainbow stationery set teaching you the speed that light travels
and it’s universally known that some people are like child geniuses and end up graduating university aged three or something really bizarre and crazy
(obvs sarcasm)
so, for the love of god...why was there no young hot professor for you to spy on during your lectures
you’re currently a second year uni student, studying visual arts
which, by the way, is awesome
you started off initially very interested in just drawing, but taking modules in sculpting was something you actually found yourself loving and, not to brag, but you’re also pretty good at photography
like as a kid you could probably be found eating crayons and snorting felt fumes like you were an art junkie
kids in your classes were asking for leapfrogs or action figures for christmas but here you were asking for a £300 pencil colouring set along with a “by numbers” colouring book
picasso is shaking rn
like...funny how leonardo da vinci hasn’t released any new artwork since you were born….hm inch resting
“y/n. you, me, some other people, smirnoff and dr pepper, house party, saturday night, is it a yes, or is it a yes?”
jeongguk has been your best friend since your first semester at university; he also took visual arts and does extremely well in all areas, particularly photography and cinema/media study. ever since you partnered together after both being the first ones to turn up to the first class, you’ve been stuck together like glue, even going as far as to rent out a flat together for your second year (along with three other people, just to make the rent easier)
“uh, actually, no, i can’t, as tempting as that whole ordeal sounds.”
“but then when am i gonna see you?”
“i literally see you every day, we LIVE TOGETHER..”
“it’s not the same thing!!”
every saturday for you is the “flat 18 party night” which literally translates to the day that your entire flat go out to any party they can get invited to and just get smashed
it started off as a you and jeongguk thing but then when you moved into flat 18 at the start of your second year, it became a you, jeongguk, haseul, jimin and seunghee thing, and by extension, a year 2 uni student party since the rest of your flatmates found the need to invite all their other friends
basically it was the only day of the week where you were really granted a day off
and jeongguk really fucking loved party night saturdays
“well, what’s the reason then?”- the two of you are currently on your way to your last class of the day; it’s a sort of orientation day for upcoming students who can’t attend the open days next weekend, and so your visual arts professor (who happens to be an actual BEAST) ended up cancelling afternoon classes to help another professor sort out the gym
“family wedding sort of thing,” you explain as you walk. “if i could get out of it, trust me, i wouldn’t. i don’t know if my kidneys can handle another night of drinking. i hadn’t recovered from saturday until wednesday!”
“i’m pretty sure it’s your liver that gets affected by alcohol, but go off i guess...”
“ANYWAYS so yeah i’m sort of maybe like head bridesmaid and i have to be there so….yeah….can't make it :(”
jeongguk then discovers that the wedding is for one of your cousins that you were always really close to, and so even when he’s still really bummed out about you not being there for the “big shindig” he lets it go
especially because he of all people knows that you’ve never been particularly close with all of your family members and it’s only very recently that you got back in touch with them all (just after your first year of uni, to be precise) and he knows how much it means to you
haseul is one of the only other person in your flat who is an “art” major
she actually studies theatre and performing arts but she likes to still be in on the art grind with you and guk
(fun fact: the trio of you called yourselves “art attack” as a funny joke and all have printed art attack door signs in the flat)
haseul always always always tries to wait for both of you after classes because the performance hall and practise rooms are like RIGHT THERE and she’s sort of a little creature of habit and after waiting once or twice it just became a natural thing
today though she’s not waiting because apparently seunghee is doing a biology project and needed help moving it and setting it all up in the labs and haseul was free and so offered her services
usually if you’re free, anyone of you will wait for each other after classes
haseul usually waits for you and guk and then sometimes you guk and haseul go to get seunghee and jimin, especially on thursdays and fridays since they are sort of the weekday party dates
“are we going to see the project after class?”
you glanced up from your canvas stained with reds and blues towards jeongguk who actually hasn’t even looked up from his own drawing, still painting the still life ugly ass vase in the middle of the room
class is actually really quiet today, which makes sense because it’s a friday and there’s always, you know for a fact, a student union get together on thursday evenings and half the uni abuse it and get hammered
and so uni is literally DEAD the next morning
“um yes of course I really wanna see her volcano in action okay i helped make that.”
“technically we all helped make it...”
“well nobody ASKED YOU FOR YOUR OPINION.”
eventually your class ends early because it’s literally just you guk and some other kid who doesn’t talk to anybody and so you and guk decide to head over to the biology labs in the science department
judging by the time, their class should actually be over but knowing seunghee and her stubbornness, her volcano is most definitely still there shooting little rocks onto the floor
rightly predicted because seunghee stands really proud next to her dodgy looking volcano that everyone in flat 18 helped make while off their rockers
and haseul is awkwardly sitting on a stool to the other side, admittedly on her phone playing zepeto or whatever
“tell me it isn’t the best volcano you’ve ever seen!”
“seunghee, baby, it’s so cute, i LOVE the way it’s literally falling apart!!” jeongguk and seunghee have a super loving friendship, sometimes you sit back and think they’d be the cutest couple on planet earth and then you realise that its GUK and HEE and you wanna erase that thought from your head
guk takes a really quick pic on his phone so he can show jimin, who would definitely complain otherwise because “i literally painted the whole thing brown i think that deserves recognition!”
“please tell me it got a passing grade”
you sort of need seunghee’s volcanic mess to have passed because you did not have to hear her talk about how excited she was to present her volcano that actually burned things if you put it close enough for six days straight, just for it to flop and get nothing
“i personally loved the reinvented cliche of the volcano model, so i actually gave it higher than passing.”
you turn almost embarrassingly quickly
because
well
you know that voice
everybody with brain cells knows that voice
cause like
professor jung is literally THE biology professor
like he’s the king of biology
you have to admit to yourself that you were secretly so happy when guk made friends with seunghee through jimin (a physics major) because you knew through the grapevine that seunghee was a student in professor jung’s class and everybody and anybody knows that professor jung is the Daddy of biology
like he’s so gorgeous and inventive and creative and passionate and sometimes you just sit there and think “why the fuck didn't i take biology??”
and then you remember that the only thing that helped you get through high school biology was the fact that seo youngho (god bless his soul) sat next to you and gave you all his answers on internal exams
he’s also one of THOSE professors
like he’s one of the cliche fanfiction Young Genius professors
granted he’s still a solid four years older but still, it’s in the legal age frame and he’s still remarkably young to be a uni professor and that’s what you tell yourself when you feel guilty about thirsting over him and the way he looks so damn sexy in that white lab coat and black turtleneck
ANYWAY
when you see him you kind of flush and look away
it’s not obvious that you like him tbh, because you’ve by now mastered to keep it under control unless around flat 18 and incredibly dangerously drunk
that of course doesn’t stop guk from smirking next to you and giving you little nudges which is, quite frankly, annoying as FUCK
tbh flat 18 know you thirst over professor jung and so they waste no time trying to bring it up deliberately, but you’re not obvious at showing you like him in front of him
cause he’s popular and definitely has a group of girls in seunghee’s class who like him a lot and giggle obnoxiously like its high school
you’re not THAT desperate
“oh, good, because i didn’t want it to be a waste of my time.”
he raises a brow
“...becAUse i had to listen to seunghee talk about how good her project was all week. HERS, that she worked on totally alone. like i didnt even know she was doing a project- wow, seunghee, did you make this volcano? wow hahah look at that guys!”
not that professor jung even cares that she got help
seunghee is the only student who respects his crazy biology analogies and jokes so she’s naturally one of his faves
“yeah, and, prof jung didn’t give us homework so im completely free for tomorrow’s big shindig.” seunghee says, still smiling really proudly
“first of all why is everybody saying shindig, second of all i cant go to that so im sorry please don’t post it on snapchat because it will hurt my feelings that you’re having fun without me” and everyones like :) and then like :O :(
bear in mind professor jung is literally still here, he’s just by his desk tidying up only half listening because kids are wild these days and he doesn’t remember having half as much fun when he was in university
“um. WHAT why???? you know saturdays are our days like those are the days we actually get to see you because you’re always in your room sleeping or working”
“that’s not true at all, that’s very inaccurate...”
“you literally watched all 7 seasons of game of thrones in less than three days two weeks ago and i dont think i saw you once during that time”
valid point
“im at a wedding :( and i cant miss it :( even for dr pepper and vodka :( im sorry :(”
at that point professor jung scares you all back into reality. “oh wow that’s so weird because i’m at a wedding too this weekend, actually. wouldn’t that be so weird if we were at the same wedding?”
please be at the same wedding as me “omg imagine that ahhaahha”
but then you realise that’s just not realistic
and even if it was realistic for professor jung hoseok to attend your cousin’s wedding then nothing would happen because weddings are big and busy and you like barely know professor jung beyond making small-talk with him when you’re waiting for seunghee to hurry up and pack away all three of her pencil cases after classes
you actually forgot how stressful weddings are
the last wedding you went to was your aunt’s wedding when you were like five and you were a little flower girl who ruined all the wedding photos by covering her ears and scrunching up her face because the church bells were really fucking loud
which as a kid you thought was perfectly valid, but now that you’re twenty turning twenty one you realise how annoying it must be to have a mongrel child pulling ugly faces at the front of your precious wedding photos
“remind me to never ever get married”
your mom kinda just looks at you and frowns
“i remember when i got married i had my maid of honour and bridesmaids do everything for me so i was actually really relaxed. maybe when you get wifed up you’ll be the same”
wise words from mrs l/n that you’ll probably forget within the next five minutes!
even though it’s so infuriating sorting out the brides big ass dress and making sure that the designated flower girl (who btw is not as good as you were aged 5 dressed in pink and wearing barbie trainers) doesn’t spill all the goddamn petals onto the floor before the aisle, you find that the ceremony is actually really kinda beautiful and touching and yES, maybe the vows made you tear up a little bit
and you bARELY remember the greeting ceremony afterwards which is basically another way of saying “wait for us to get back while we sign these papers” which is also another way of saying It’s time for all the guests to awkwardly wait around and not do anything
you literally haven’t met a single person from the groom’s side of the family and you’re not really interested in doing so until the after party
like most after parties this one is pushed up in a hired out room near the venue and it’s dark and slightly sweaty and hey, at least the food is nice and OMG they have baby sausage rolls
after obviously talking to your family for a little bit, you occupy your time by the snacks and the bar just kind of moving between the two
yknow just minding your own business
“woah, they have tiny sausage rolls, too?”
oh god
you instantly turn around like its deja vu or something
there is no way that professor jung is standing right there at your COUSINS wedding like its no big deal
“...prof JUNG?? omg what are you doing here??”
“i jinxed it! the groom is actually one of my family friends. yeah, he’s been like best friends with my sister since they were in school and so we were close growing up.”
it’s sort of a relief, somewhere deep down inside, knowing that professor jung isn’t like indirectly related to you through marriage
“and, please, y/n, we’re not at school!! please call me hoseok!”
you’re like tearing up inside,,,,on a first name basis with the hot biology professor.,,,,,.....,,, it’s a miracle
also
how does he know who you are
“i didn’t know you knew my name,” you sort of blurt it out as you think it and he starts laughing really cutely and takes like three sausage rolls off the plate on the table
“well, you’re seunghee’s friend! and uh, the bride literally said your name in the speech at dinner.”
“oh. okay well cool haha yeah. wow. this is so weird.”
you actually thought prior to this moment that talking to professor jung- HOSEOK- even when you’re with seunghee in the labs would be really awkward????
because you’re no biologist and the only thing you remember about biology was a video that scarred you for life about a whale's stomach exploding everywhere like the t-rex out of land of the lost
and plus because he’s cute and smart and also a teacher which was. pretty much a big deal...like a big big deal
“okay, but you’re also legally old enough to do it..it’s not like you’re fifteen and he’s thirty,” said the sadistic voice in your head. you liked to ignore that voice a lot
but contrary to popular belief hoseok is actually really really easy to talk to
it’s almost like he’s been your friend for like your entire life and it’s only a little bit weird for you to be laughing your ass off with your friends biology professor at your cousins wedding but hey anything can happen and at least you’re having fun !!!!
naturally…...fun can go…….well…….too far……….sometimes
it’s like quarter to midnight and the party is still going strong and your cousin is like really going for it on the dance floor with your mom and a few of your other family members and oh wow look at this at some point you’ve ended up smushed against hoseok’s side with another glass of smirnoff and dr pepper in honour of flat 18 having fun without you rn
and he doesn’t seem to mind about the way you lean up with your whole cleavage against his chest to talk to him bc its loud as fuck and he can’t hear you from up here
and haha. wow look!
at some point during this fine hour mr jung hoseok has slung an arm around your waist and has his nose in your hair with his lips by your ear because its LoUd As FuCk iN hErE and you won’t be able to hear him
“i said do you want to step outside? its really hot in here” he asks and you have to physically stop yourself from snogging his face off because there’s no way he’s actually looking that good rn
you probably look awful and flustered and sweaty
“oh yes sure yeah ok yeah lets go we can go out to the patio or something”
and of COURSE your poor mother has no idea that the man around your waist is a professor at ur university so she sees you...actually with somebody and smiles really wide and turns away
at this point she’s just shocked that you’re with somebody because lately you’ve only been with flat 18 or nobody at all
you discover very quickly actually that hoseok is stroking his hand up and down the side of your body which okay, alexa, this is epic
“it’s nice and cool out here i thought i was gonna roast to death inside of there.”
hoseok, again with his cute laughter that has apparently become throaty and deep and you almost have to double check it’s still him because it majorly caught you off guard
“right? too many people, it always makes me feel really hot and claustrophobic.”
you hummed. “yeah, and it’s so sweaty and sticky like [cousins name] really couldn’t have opened up a few windows huh.”
he nods and watches you as you just keep talking and talking and talking
“and, let me tell you, this dress is so uncomfortable”
he looks you over. “you look gorgeous. the dress- i mean, the dress looks gorgeous”
“yeah it’s just a shame it’s so itchy and tight”
“mm? wanna go and change?”
“honestly i kind of just want to get out of it.”
you sort of share a look for a solid three seconds
and there’s like a really brief moment where you regret saying it
maybe he hadn’t meant anything by stroking your body and staring at you with a darkened look and holding you tightly when one of your FAMILY MEMBERS said hi to you and smiled and brushing his lips by your ear like maybe all of that was platonic? maybe he remembered you’re a student (although not hIS student) but still!!!!
you’re 0.5 seconds away from blurting out an almost sober apology when he mutters a, “fuck it,” under his breath that you barely even register and then he’s holding your face with his hands and bringing you in for a fat smooch
at first you’re just really surprised because even though you wanted this to happen you weren’t necessarily expecting it to happen
hoseok pulls away sort of dejected because “why aren’t you kissing me back :(” and thats all it takes because you’re pulling him in for round 2 of smooching and it’s almost like you’re not in the courtyard by the patio directly near the windows of the party and it’s not as if people can see you smooching professor jung haha no way! That would be insane!
“i” kiss “really” kiss “shouldn’t” kiss “be” kiss “doing” kiss “this” and he pulls away and then kisses you really really deeply “but” kiss “itsokjustpleasedonttellanybody”
for a moment you both like ruin the mood by assuring each other you won’t say anything and most people at that point would have been like, alright let’s call it a night haha this was fun and awkward
but :( he’s already hard and ur already really in the mood to bone the Daddy of biology so it would be a waste if you didn’t just….continue
hoseok very quickly discovers the perks of being head bridesmaid because your suite is gorgeous and big
“wtf i’m sharing a room with my uncle this really isn’t fair!”
“the many pros of being related to the bride! look i even have a mini fridge and it’s got loads of strawberry milk in because like its my favourite and they really treated me here and-”
not that he doesn’t want to hear you talk because he’d love to but omg he’s hard as heck and would rather get down to it instead of talking about the excessive amount of strawberry milk in ur fucking mini fridge the size of his BED
surprisingly even though you’ve wanted to at least hold professor jung- HoSeOk-’s hand for like an entire year, you haven’t put THAT much thought into having sex with him
well
actually like finger fucking does not count
nor does him between your legs
no they do not count to you in your mind especially when he quite literally helps you out of your dress and strips you to just your underwear
which, BTW, thank FUCK you brought your sexy stuff just in-case the groom had any really hot friends
thankfully he had jung hoseok
y/n: 1 life: 0
rewind like 0.3 seconds
so. hoseok apparently knows this venue like the back of his hand because he manages to direct you to your wing within like three minutes which is pretty impressive considering it took you thirty to find it this morning
regardless he’s really gentle considering he wants nothing more than to plow you into a nearby hard surface and like you know when someone ghosts their fingers over your skin and it tickles but it’s a nice tickle and your whole body shudders
yeah
well
professor jung does that a lot
he takes a liking to sitting on the end of the bed, between the two posts, while you’re firmly seated on his laps with your legs on either side of him, which is the long way of writing You Are Straddling Seunghee’s Biology Professor
“you’re so pretty” his voice is sort of muffled by your hair and skin and you can barely even focus on his voice because there’s so many things happening rn it’s hard to process it all
do you focus on his voice? his one hand on your back? his other hand literally on your arse? his crotch against yours? the little guttural groan he does between kisses?
it all just feels surreal and amazing and oh WOW jung hoseok has a hand between ur legs
he loops his fingers around your underwear and moans (shudders? you can’t tell but whatever he just did like you need him to do it again cause WEEEWWWW) and like lets them go suddenly
and we’re back to before; hoseok moves to dip underneath your jaw and helps you out of your tight and uncomfortable but expensi-
“did. di-did you just . rip my dress?”
“....i swear i didn’t do it on purpose.”
“omg this dress was on loan oh my GOD”
“im SORRY the zip got stuck and so i tugged i didn’t know the whole dress was gonna rip in half this material must be cheap, honey you got SCAMMED”
you realise that you’re not actually going to be the one to pay for it since the bride said she’d cover the prices of dresses and you instantly sort of relax (although, sorry to your cousin that she’s gonna have to pay extra now lol)
“okay it’s fine just” and he clings to you really tightly and affectionately with his chin rested just above your boobs which is honestly cute and actually really weirdly hot “ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ʳᶦᵖ ᵐʸ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳʷᵉᵃʳ”
he has the nerve to giggle to himself “heeheehee okay baby i will be extra careful”
~~~
basically you make a mental note to tell guk and guk only that you rode professor jung to the stars and back
boi DEFINITELY put biology skills to use like this man must have aced human anatomy and sex ed because mans knows all the parts to look after and touch and kiss and it’s like he digitally downloaded every sex move possible because…..no way in hell u just snagged the best sexual partner in town
“mm fuck i wish i was a biology major” it just sort of comes out, bearing in mind you are like half sober
hoseok kind of laughs from his position and moves his hands to your thighs, “yeah?”
“yes i’m so jealous seunghee gets to see you all the time and i only get to see you when i pick her up”
“you can come and see me whenever, baby”
scoff “i’m an art student wouldn’t it be weird to turn up at a biology lab to see you?”
“i have an office yknow and it’s only open to super important people and i can make you one of them”
you realise shortly after like your second orgasm that hoseok is really good at making mediocre things sound really sexy
at long last you actually look down at him and just grin really widely and at first he’s like “yeah? you like that?” and then you start giggling really weirdly
“best.” down. up. “wedding.” down. up. “ever.”
you consider the possibility that last night was a big fat wet dream for at least four seconds until you open your eyes, see the window, roll over, and see professor motherfucking jung in bed next to you
he hasn’t opened his eyes yet and you think he’s asleep so you roll back over to grab your phone conveniently placed on the bedside table
as it turns out, mr jeon jeongguk has not listened to you and posted every nanosecond of the party last night, as well as leaving you several text messages, as he would, as your bff
from guk: are u having fun? i hope ur having fun. if not, then have fun
from guk: i guess ur dead lmao
from guk: sikegjsfkasljf i madmeout with both seujgehe and jikmin
from guk: ignore the above message
from guk: also good morning did you have fun did u get LAID was it a girl or a guy i need all the juicy details
you have to conceal a groan because you don’t want to wake up hoseok
you haven’t thought of something to say yet because worst case scenario, he could wake up and be like “wtf i slept with YOU??????” and that would not be chill for a sunday morning
to guk: im devastated bc of ur snapchat story that’s real snake behaviour
from guk: omg grow up
from guk: and answer my question horre
to guk: i will talk to you later because i am not talking to u about it over the phone bc knowing you and your monster thumbs and chaotic energy, you’ll screenshot and tell everyone in the flat and im not ready for them to know yet
there’s a few moments of silence
from guk: oh fuck tell me ur not pregnant im not ready to be an aunt or uncle yet (x)
you’re about to reply when
oh
wait
did you use a condom last night
you’ve been off the pill for a couple months because even though not getting periods or pregnant was pretty cool, your skin really suffered and oh hey look at that you’ve put on like 4 pounds overnight
and you can’t really remember if hoseok wore a condom or not
did he?
he must have
like he’s a biology teacher
surely
yeah
to guk: wtf no
to guk: and how would i even know that it hasnt even been 24 hours yet this isnt breaking dawn im not gonna show after like 12 minutes
from guk: you never know
“all i can hear is your nails tapping the screen and it’s literally amongst one of the most annoying sounds to wake up to”
oof
you drop your phone flat on your face
hoseok sort of both reaches to see if you’re okay whilst also laughing
“i’m sorry i didn’t know they were that loud”
he smiles and strokes the side of your face “mm it’s okay. woke up next to a pretty girl so it’s not so bad”
and it’s official he owns your heart
neither of you actually really address the fact that your whole...THING is really taboo until he’s like fishing around for his left sock and you’re moping over your ripped dress
“so like does this mean i can’t come to pick up seunghee anymore because it’ll be weird?”
he pauses. “why would it be weird?”
“idk cause like. idk. you’re a teacher?”
“really? fuck, i had no idea!!!”
“i’m being serious. i don’t wanna be the reason you LOSE your job!! and i’m so bad at keeping secrets what if i tell someone worse what if i tell my MOM”
he’s moved towards you as you were talking and he’s looking at you really closely with a really pretty look in his eyes
“y/n, i’m a teacher and i’m a professional. i can contain my...whatever, emotions, while i’m at work. and yes, please, come by and get seunghee because she’s one of my favourites and i don’t think i’ll see you often because you’re in visual arts and im always in my lab but my office! yes i have an office that you can always stop by when you’re bored and if i’m free i will happily see you :( it’s unfortunate that you happen to be a student but technically….like you’re old enough and it’s not that weird?”
pause
“okay it’s a little weird but if you want it can be just one night. we can ignore it happened.”
you really don’t want to ignore it
like you really don’t want to at all
hoseok easily was the best sex you’ve ever had and ugh he’s so nice and pretty and warm and caring and smart and yeah he made a joke about cells during sex but it was perfectly timed and funny and ugh he’s the perfect guy
but he’s also a professor at your university and above all else, you really don’t want him to lose his job that he worked his ass of for just because you couldn’t control yourself
so you sort of suck in a frown very poorly and you both agree to kind of...let it be pushed under the rug
it was a one time….two-time thing
because he definitely fucked you into the mattress one last time before you walked out the door and acted like teacher and student again
“you look...disgusting, give me all the gossip!”
you’ve barely been in flat 18 for five seconds and jeongguk is already at the door with a glass of water and a bag of what you can only pray is cookies
(nice attempt: it’s actually tiny meringues which is good enough)
as usual jeongguk cradles a hangover right into monday morning and thankfully for you, haseul and himself, arts lectures and classes don’t usually start until the afternoon on mondays
even though haseul is 77% sure she wont turn up because she’s way too comfy in her pjs on the couch in the living room
and honestly the pressure of telling jeongguk about what the hell happened on saturday night is intense because….haseul is there too now
which isn’t ideal to be very very honest
and haseul is literally your Girlfriend like she would be there to wipe your arse if you asked her nicely
but she can also be a little bit judgy and you’re feeling particularly sensitive today
but you also can’t not tell her because she’s one of your best friends and you’re probably definitely going to tell hee and jimin when they’re back so. might as well do it fast
you trust flat 18 with your entire heart and you know they’d never tell anybody
((this is not foreshadowing they are little angels))
“holy fuck you’re literally covered in hickeys, this story is gonna be so good, let me get a cup of tea before you start holy shit-” and so haseul makes three cups of tea and sits back down like ten minutes later
“okay im ready literally LAY it on me im ready”
deep breath
sip of tea
setting the cup down
“so i went to my cousins party. pretty normal right, not expecting much to go down at all like it’s a family wedding and there’s kids around”
“yeah, right, okay, AND”
“and so i’m minding my own business by the snack table and then somebody comes up to me and YOU’LL NEVER EVER GUESS WHO IT WAS”
they both sit there like “how am i supposed to know?”
deep breath
“i turn around and it’s only PROFESSOR JUNG”
pause
“wait wtf why was he at your cousins wedding?” haseul is so lost
“HE did say he was going to a wedding last week,” jeongguk adds. “that’s so weird omg he literally called it wow haha he’s so cool”
“right right, but like how is that the tea,” haseul frowns. “that’s like...cold stale tea. i wanted scorching hot tea. there’s GOT to be more to it”
you sit there awkwardly and wait for them to figure it out because haseul is looking at you really intently trying to figure it out
jeongguk is looking back and forth between you and haseul
he knows she’ll figure it out before him because out of the three of you, haseul has the brain cells
haseul literally just stares at your face until she kinda looks down at your neck
and remembers the hickies
and then looks back up at your face
and then back down
and them back up
...
“oh my fucking god you DIDN’T”
“wait what what what WHAT HAPPENED”
“oh my fuckING GOD. OMG. OH MY GOD??????/ NO, NO.”
jeongguk is like O_O “what omg tell me”
you’re holding your face in your hands rn
haseul is up off her seat and pointing a finger at you with her mouth so wide
she looks kinda like the pikachu meme
0o0
“Y/N SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG”
jeongguk laughs
“....wait WHAT THE FUCK”
chaos ensues
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE”
“i didn’t say that!”
“what, so you DIDN’T sleep with professor jung?”
“...okay so maybe i did but you can’t tell ANYONE PLEASE”
jeongguk is literally laughing his ass off rn
because he’s your best friend and honestly that’s what best friends would do in this situation
haseul on the other hand is the responsible friend who’s thinking of the bigger picture
“holy shit, okay. um. wtf he could get sacked for this!”
“we talked it out and we promised to not tell anyone, and it’s not like we’re gonna hook up again so it’s fine!!!! which is why you both cant say anything PLS”
haseul moves to sit by you really comfortingly, “omg baby no i would never!!! it’s not my secret to tell and YES, i’m very surprised right now and i don’t really know what to do because what SHOULD i do??? this has never happened to me before omg this is insane. this is fuckING INSANE”
you end up having to explain the entire night in detail (missing a few details because let’s be real, you were hammered and dick drunk)
jeongguk has calmed down and now realises that this is sort of serious
mostly he’s just finding it funny that you actually ended up hooking up with professor jung, because you and him used to joke around about it all the time
even though he was initially quite childish about it, jeongguk knows that it’s serious and something that is clearly bothering you so he knows when to pack it in and be the supportive friend
because gukkie is a good friend and oh no we’re dropping all the uwus everywhere
“was it good?”
yes, haseul it was good
“was it SAFE?”
you’re about to answer jeongguk and then you pause
“....i don’t know”
and haseul’s off again
“holy mother of hell what do you MEAN you don’t know???”
“i can’t remember!!”
“and you didn’t ask the morning after???”
“im sorry he was too busy rearranging my GUTS it must have,,,crossed my mind”
now haseul has another thing to worry about on top of midterms
to flat 18: IAHUIIGJKSFDLIHGDJKSF Y/N SLEPT WITH PROFESSOR JUNG
from y/n: JEONGGUK WHAT THE FUCK
from y/n: WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM OVER TEXT I WANTED TO TELL THEM IN PERSON
from guk: IM SORRY I THOGGHT WE WERE TELIJG THEM
from y/n: jesus christ
from jimin: um
from jimin: WHAT
from jimin: PLEATHE tell me its hot biology professor jung and not ugly middle aged literature professor jung because else my reaction is gonna be vERY different
from y/n: wtf why would i want to sleep with literature jung he’s like 50 and married
from guk: wait omg what if hot prof jung is married….did you ask
from y/n: let me move my bang and read that again,,,,
from jimin: i literally cant breathe MY LUNGSSSSS
from jimin: WHAT KINDA FANFICTION IS THIS RN how and when and why did u sleep with him i have SO MANY QUESTIONS i should be studying for my physics midterm rn but whatyueijgn this is too good
from y/n: this is why i wanted to tell u in person
from seunghee: WHATHGRJENS SJF WHAT THE FUCK
from seunghee: I JUST FUCKING SCREAMED IN MY BIOLOGY LECTURE AND HAD TO LEAVE
from seunghee: TELL ME UR JOKING RN
from y/n: :D heehee. um. haha. well haha. uh
from seunghee: I CANT LOOK AT PROF JUNG THE SAME WAY ANYMORE
from seunghee: omg….u had his PEEPEE inside of u….holy shit i need to sit down rn
from haseul: mood
from guk: she did THAT :’)
from seunghee: i mean…..when we joked around and said you should hop on professor jung’s dick i didnt think you’d DO IT FOR REAL
from y/n: it was the dr pepper u guys…..he made me do it
from seunghee: oh god professor jung came out to see if i was okay and i screamed i cant look at him i cant
from seunghee: omg he was in ur GUTS i cant im dropping biology
you dont immediately see professor jung
in fact you try and avoid him because even though you both agreed to not hook up again you’re afraid that the demon inside you will try and jump him and knowing you, a professor will probably end up catching you
and you like uni you dont wanna leave
and you like hoseok you don’t want him to leave and lose his job
flat 18 have calmed down from the initial shock and humour of the situation
i mean they’re all still in disbelief that it happened
and jeongguk and jimin make jokes about it sometimes
but it’s calmed down
it’s actually like a full week before you see him
because all of flat 18 for some reason offered to help on the open day for uni, party night saturday had to be cancelled >:(
seunghee shudders at the thought of being one of the only biology volunteers and having to pretend like she doesn’t know that her professor was balls deep inside her best friend last weekend
jimin and seunghee are together in the science department and haseul is happy performing for families checking out the performance department
jeongguk was asked to help promote the art department
and you were forced into giving campus tours :(
which sucks
because you have to try and pump out your best energy for the day
due to the amount of students doing tours on the same day, you’re only really expected to give one tour before going to your selected department
and you wouldn’t actually mind giving tours if it didn’t mean that you had to go everywhere on campus and by everywhere you mean having to go to the science department and inevitably seeing the brief love of your life
“..and right here is the art department! as an art student i sure have a lot to say about it- everyone is super duper nice and all-well, MOST of the professors are really helpful and critical and i’ve really improved drawing since i’ve been here. we do a lot of still life in this room but next door is the main drawing room and just off campus, we have the drawing labs!!! and oh, downstairs is the photography department; we have a red room and three studios and next door is the cinema”
“do you get to watch films?”
“technically no but when nobody is looking we do watch a film heeheehee i mean. what? no we would never break the rules..,,.”
you give jeongguk a cheeky bum shake before you leave and he laughs
yes an old man sees and scowls but it’s ok
“so yea like i said, the staff are friendly and mostly helpful. i mean, there are obviously some professors who aren’t amazing but hey we have a higher rating than other unis in this area so haha”
“mostly helpful?” a mom says. “can you elaborate on that?”
“not really, karen.”
after hurling your group around everywhere, you FINALLY make it to the science department
which you came to last because you were not prepared to see You Know Who
anyway
you step inside and start listing off things in the department
like Oh yes jackie look that’s called a bunsen burner
Oh michael sweetie don’t touch the gas taps we don’t wanna die now do we?
“our uni has some of the best science professors,” you explain. “they’re incredible and so dedicated to their profession and it’s really a great environment- two of my flatmates study science and they love their classes and lectures. professor min teaches physics and my friend jimin says he teaches it like no other- he’s amazing!”
“and what about professor jung?”
what
“ᵉˣᶜᵘˢᵉ ᵐᵉ?”
“what do you think of professor jung, hm?” WHY IS THE HM SOUNDING A LITTLE CONFRONTATIONAL
you stare at this mom like OoO because this is weird there’s no way she kNOWS how does this mom know omg did you say something dumb how does she--
“i heard he wrote books and went on tv! he also attended conferences at oxford uni,” the mom says, almost annoyed and your heart goes WOOOOOSH out your body. “my son wants to study biology and so we’re excited to see and hear about professor jung.”
“oH yes RIGHT well he’s...well he’s great.”
“can you elaborate-”
“no susan i can’t. let’s just go and meet him, yeah?”
inside the science rooms open for showing, you’re oddly relieved to see another tour group just finishing up meaning that half of the professors are preoccupied already
that includes hoseok in his cute ass lab coat talking to a group of students and parents
suddenly that female student is standing very close to him and you have to look away before you get annoyed for literally no reason
y/n: 1 life: 1
seunghee is actually free talking to jimin and professor min (jimins weirdly hot professor) sees you standing awkwardly in the doorway and he comes to the rescue with a small smile and nods his head at you
wow jimin never told you how pretty he was
scary as fuck
but pretty
“hi! welcome to the science department…”
you kind of step to the side because science is not your subject this is not your element and you dont wanna mess up
while seunghee is so happy showing off her booth and YES the volcano made an appearance, jimin is content with not doing his job and coming to stand with you
“is it just me or is prof jung looking delicious today?” jimin sort of nudges you in the side and you have to give him a sickeningly sweet smile that translates to You’re Getting Your Ass BEAT Later
“...and we do all sorts of projects to help us constantly develop our skills!!! and it’s actually a really good way at making friends and bonds-” a few parents laugh “-and actually, two of my flatmates are here over there--”
oh great eyes are on you and jimin :)
jimin smiles like :) hell yes :) thats me :)
and you’re flushing as fuck because 1) you don’t really do well with being the center of attention like having to speak and tour people around campus is BAD ENOUGh and 2) hoseok has just been made aware of your presence
you’re trying not to look at him like :) i’m not here :)
“-they helped me make this volcano!!!! and it’s so cute!!! look- it shoots rocks- oh, careful sweetie- look!!! it’s so cool y/n helped me a lot and i got a good grade and we do loads of this sort of stuff, haha, prof jung really works us to the bone but makes it super fun at the same time!!!”
braving a chance to look at him you clam up noticing that he’s already looking at you
he does that THING where he smiles and his eyes look really soft and warm and he ducks his head to look at the other parents and stuff
jimin contains a snort and seunghee is like o_o because she had to witness that LOOK as if she wasn’t trying hard enough to forget about what happened
professor min looks between you and hoseok like “-_-” and you wanna DIE
ALRIGHT MICHAEL PUT ON THE GAS TAPS BACK ON LET’S FUCKING DIE TONIGHT
hoseok manages to talk to you before you leave though which is smooth and you can feel your heart in your vagina literally pulsing as he approaches you and jimin
“having fun?”
you smile like :) how is giving tours :) fun :)
“i guess so!!”
“hey thats good!” he replies enthusiastically. “looks like people like the volcano you helped make.”
“....i didn’t make that. seunghee lied i did not help her on her graded project We did not help I don’t know why she would say that”
and he kind of laughs and forgets where he is and his hand touches your back
jimin chokes
you sort of look at him like OoO BRO
he pulls away so FAST like you’re on fire or something
“it’s okay. it’s a pretty volcano.” clears throat. “a-anyways. have a nice day guys.”
he looks like he wants to say something more but cant really afford to, so he sulks away and talks to more parents
“omg….he just had sex with you again” jimin said quietly. “omg. that was wild”
“he literally touched me what are you TALKING ABOUT”
“can’t believe you just did that….right in front of me….”
“literally SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OMG”
again you don’t see prof jung often
you see him a couple of times when you wait for seunghee
its been a hot minute, like a few weeks
he doesn’t speak much but when he does it’s like “oh hi y/n! waiting for seunghee?” or “you can come in for a bit while seunghee packs up” or “plans for the weekend?”
once you dumbly said “i miss you” before you left and both prof jung and seunghee are like “oh hoe you didnt”
“huh?” he asks.
“I said i’ll see you,” you say. “like...i don’t know. see you soon? i guess”
he knows what you really said
he raises his brow’s and laughs and’s like, “me too, y/n. i’ll see you both soon. enjoy your weekend!”
“you’re literally so dumb,” seunghee says whilst walking back to the dorm, “like really so fucking dumb. i MISS YOU??? REALLY? THAT’S ALL YOU SAID??? I’M LIVING OFF CRUMBS HERE”
“wtf do you MEAN???”
“yknow he always asks me, “how are your friends? y/n, the others?” like why would he ask about you...unless he missed you too….and wanted to see you…..omg you’re both really so dumb”
you think about that for a while
back at flat 18, everybody is out of classes for the weekend; jimin is finishing up an essay so he won’t have to do it last minute monday morning, haseul is watching vines on her phone and guk is currently eating the peaches that you were craving and wanted to eat so bought and stored away for later
later as in now
he offers you one but afterwards you feel like…?? weirdly nauseous
“do you need some water?” guk is on alert rn “i swear i didn’t poison you or anything!!!!!”
“i...literally didn’t even think you had but now that you’ve brought it up…”
like this sickness is so sudden you just wanna throw up all your internal organs
“you should go to bed,” haseul says and she’s like rushing to you to push you towards your room. “i will get a hot water bottle ready and blankets and oh- actually no, you can’t risk eating in-case it makes you feel worse. at least try and eat like these bland ass biscuits seunghee brought because then you’ll throw up something instead of nothing. are you okay, did i ask if you were okay? are you?”
the best thing about flat 18 is that they’re like a little tight family and if one of you is sick, they become worried parents and it’s so cute
anyway so you stay in bed for the rest of the day
and most of saturday morning
flat 18 are debating whether or not to really go out on saturday but you groggily tell them to just go and have fun and you’ll stay at home :( crying :( watching peaky blinders on netflix :(
haseul and seunghee decide to stay in with you for a girls night while jeongguk and jimin head to their friend taehyung’s dorm
at some point during a very intense sex scene between tommy shelby and some random woman you don’t care about currently, you feel a very intense wave of sickness
OFF TO THE BATHROOM YOU GO!!
as you’re throwing up you’re thinking over every possible reason for being sick
food poisoning?
flu?
and then you pause mid heave
could…..could you be pregnant?
omg no
wait omg yes you totally could be
you panic so much that you throw up again
seunghee and haseul are right outside the door asking if you need anything and haseul comes in to hold your hair and seunghee is rubbing your thigh like “honey please what do you need?”
sheepishly you look at her and squeak out, “i don’t think im sick.”
seunghee’s like “well obviously you are you’re throwing up like crazy right now, oh, yeah, okay baby yeah let it out let it all out”
makes mental note to buy air-freshener
after throwing up you just hAVE to ask
“hee...i need you to go out and get me something”
“sure honey, anything. what do you need?”
“......i need you to get me a pregnancy test.”
haseul and seunghee share a look
“are you serious?” seunghee’s voice is really gentle and quiet
“yes i need to be sure,” your voice is croaky and you keep crying in between each word and seunghee just squeezes your thigh assuringly and nods
“y-yeah, of course, wow, oh my god, okay. i’ll go and get one- no, wait, haseul should i get three? is three the safe number?”
“yeah. three is safe. like, you do an experiment three times to get a fair result and the test could read wrong”
“please stop talking about science im actually really scared right now”
seunghee is already half out the flat with her keys when she says, “do you want me to call guk and jimin?”
and you debate it but knowing guk he’d have a meltdown and tell taehyung what’s going on and it’s supposed to be a private sort of thing
and what gives you might not Actually be pregnant
“have you missed your period?” haseul asks
“yeah but i thought” sniff “it was just late :( my periods are always irregular but if i did the math” hiccup “right then it should have come four days ago :(”
seunghee comes back with three pregnancy tests
(“the cashier said, ‘oh, good luck dear! you look like you’ll be a wonderful mother!’ like HONEY IM NOT LOOKING FOR KIDS I’M TOO YOUNG” “s-seunghee-eeEEEeee im also too young what am i gonna doOOooOoooo i cant do this”)
they both promise to be in there with you while you find out because you’re literally sobbing and shaking and lets be real, they’ve showered with you like ten times and they’ve seen all your bits and pieces and it’s just pee! everybody pees
you’re sitting down in a ball shape by the bathtub like TERRIFIED of looking at the little stick
“is it...professor jung’s?” seunghee asks quietly
“he’s the only person i’ve slept with in like three years, i’m positive it’s his,” you reply. “if im even pregnant, that is…”
haseul rubs your arm lovingly. “want to take a look? should be done by now.”
it takes you a few minutes and then eventually you nod
well
here goes nothing!!!!!
you peer over at the stick and like
your heart drops
maybe you wanna throw up again
all three sticks say: PREGNANT: 5 WEEKS
“what’s it say?” haseul asks gently and you set down one of the tests and look back at seunghee and haseul with an unreadable expression
“congrats. you’re gonna be an auntie.”
haseul is the first to crack
it felt weird to have friends excited?? about your second year of uni pregnancy? unplanned accidental pregnancy with a bIOLOGY PROFESSOR AT UR UNI????
but haseul brings you in for a hug with an excited laugh and seunghee braves taking a stick in her hand and looks at it for herself
yep, you’re having a baby all right!!!
everything is fine until you realise the big problem
how the hell are you going to tell hoseok you’re carrying his baby
does he want kids? probs not! and you never asked if he was married?? WHAT IF HE ALREADY HAS KIDS? WHAT IF HE HAS A WHOLE FAMILY??????
then you start crying
“omg, y/n, please don’t cry, it’s okay, we’re going to figure something out!”
“you don’t necessarily have to keep it if you dont want to,” haseul points out, even though you know she’s already planning dates to look after baby y/n when it’s been pushed out into the world
“h-how am i gonna tell h-hoseok that im having his baby….and i dont wanna get r-rid of it i dont wanna hurt this baby i love this baby i only just f-found out about it but i want this baby i wanna look after this baby this is my BABY?? im having a baby holy fuck you guys! im gonna be a mom this is so scary what the fuck am i gonna do????”
seunghee makes a call to jeongguk and jimin asking them to come back with ice-cream because they have things to talk about
jeongguk is worried like “oh god did i leave my underwear on the couch again? i said i was sorry and i thought id moved them this time”
and seunghee says, “um...no but now im going to double check the couch...dont forget the ice-cream BYEEEE”
needless to say that they’ve very VERY surprised to come home and discover that they’re gonna be uncles
and that the baby belongs to the Daddy of Biology
“i………..what did i miss while i was gone wtf you’re PREGNANT?”
“omg i’m gonna be an uncle??????? really?????? reAlly!!!”
of course the big issue right now is telling hoseok about it
like what are you supposed to do? go up to him and be like Hey hot stuff you’re gonna be a dad!! Happy Monday!!
“if he doesn’t want to help look after it, i would be happy being the adoptive dad of your baby,” jimin offers, staring at your stomach for the fifth straight hour. “because i love you and i also like babies.”
“aw, min, i love you too, but if hoseok doesn’t want to be the dad to this baby, i was already planning to ask guk because GOD KNOWS you would be the worst at looking after kids- dont look at me like that, i know you i CAN SEE THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE!”
you decide to skip classes on monday and only head out when you need to
and by “need to” i mean you decided that today would be the day you told hoseok
you had the whole of sunday to think over it and seunghee helped you devise a plan
hoseok has office hours from around 3pm to 9pm on mondays and her class finishes at 2:45pm, and apparently people use his monday office hours on the evening so “you should probably come then, and you and him can talk in his office where it’s more private!”
and thank god seunghee has the brain cells in this friendship because you were about to announce it in the open and you doubt that mr min would be thrilled to hear his colleague knocked up a visual arts second year student
it’s 2:30pm and you leave the flat to make it to campus for around 2:37pm
it doesn’t take long at all to walk across campus to the science department and so you’re a little bit early to seunghee’s class because they’re still clearing up by the time you get there
the science department has chosen to smell like a hospital even more today and you shudder, already mulling over the idea that you could be going to a hospital soon to get baby scans and then eventually labour and holy fucking SHIT you’re gonna have to push this thing out of your vagi-
the class leaves at 2:45 on the dot (because hoseok likes to let his kids out early because he’s a cool teacher and apparently nothing like the grouchy art teachers in your department) and actually, today seunghee hasn’t turned up to class so you’re sort of waiting for nobody rn
just >:) as >:) planned
when everybody else has gone you head inside really quietly
hoseok hears you anyway and looks over really quickly and smiles so wide like :D
“y/n! how are you!”
“haha yeah im just great professor like really Uh yeah doing great”
“seunghee’s actually not here today. i thought you guys lived together, didn’t you know that?”
and you’re like like “uh yeah i knew. i’m, well, i’m actually not here for her. i’m here for you.”
hoseok is vERY VERY CONFUSED
“is everything ok?”
you smile at him as a way of reassuring him
on the inside you’re like oh hoseok sweetie you have no idea what’s coming
“yeah. i asked seunghee what time your office hours were and she said from around 3 to 9? and obviously, its like five to three and so i am early but. look i just- i really need to speak with you.”
he stands up quickly. “is something wrong?”
“i’m not sure yet,” you reply honestly. “shall we. um. can we go to your office?”
he blinks. “oh! yeah, sure, let me get- my coat and yeah let’s go. i’ll lead the way.”
along the way you just so happen to bump into professor min and he smiles at hoseok and then at you and he’s like “oh? miss l/n, what are you doing here? i didn’t know you took science?” (he only knows who you are because of the open day)
“Oh, no i don’t. um. well,” you pause. cause what are you supposed to say???? “i’m just getting some work for seunghee. she’s...sick and bedridden, so, here i am!”
professor min is just like “huh. okay well have fun i’m going to take a nap in my office :D” and leaves
hoseok’s office is surprisingly clean and cute and there’s flowers everywhere and a cute little yellow rug and you stop to just take in how this room is hoseok in Room Form
like a room has never looked so much like a person it’s him as a room and you love it
“i didn’t really clean up because i didn’t expect anybody- especially you- to be coming. uh, here, let me just close the door. want to sit?”
you take up the offer and sit on the couch opposite his desk and he sits on the desk looking at you really worriedly. “is...everything okay?”
he wants to ask if somebody found out, but at the same time, he really doesn’t want to make you think that he was like repulsed by having sex with you because it was The best sex of his life and he’s not afraid to admit that
“yes. i just” sigh. might as well get on with it. “how long has it been since the wedding?”
hoseok pauses. thinks. “well...i mean, like, probably six weeks? yeah, six weeks. why?”
“okay, and usually, what does it mean when a woman misses her period?”
“wha- well, sometimes it could be an irregular cycle. but it’s usually because they’re conceiving...”
hoseok really doesn’t wanna overthink but...like….he’s overthinking rn
“and how long does it take for them to start showing?”
“well someone can know that they’re pregnant as early as four weeks, usually. although 50% of women say they show at five, and 70% said they show symptoms at six weeks-”
there’s a beat of silence
you worriedly look at hoseok and he’s just. quiet
you can see the clogs moving in his head and his eyes are flitting up from your stomach to your face repeatedly and wow he’s gone a bit pale?
“i...what?”
“i’m...i’m pregnant.”
“i…” he starts to speak but literally stops and he’s just really quiet
you can feel your eyes filling up because oh god he doesn’t want the baby you’ve ruined his LIFE
but really he’s just thinking really hard rn
like
omg
a beautiful girl he likes is carrying HIS BABY
A BABY HE HELPED MAKE
and then he’s like but shes a student at my uni is this weird? its weird its wrong but i love babies and ‘im gonna be a dad????? and she’s really pretty????? and i like her?????? and that’s my kid??????????
you’re seriously about to cry and be like its ok if you don’t want it i can look after it alone and my flat are okay with it i just would want some help like maybe a little bit just for the first few months when he moves from the desk towards you and drops to his knees between your legs
“is- is it mine?”
“what- of course it’s yours!”
“i’m sorry! i didn’t want to assume!!!”
“i wouldnt be here if it wasn’t yours!”
he huffs out a laugh and then just starts smiling so wide
“omg are you actually pregnant? really?”
and then you start laughing like “YES omg why would i lie here’s a test for proof i was crying a lot over the weekend.”
now that he has concrete evidence hoseok is getting a bit excited about this
above all circumstances he is gonna be a dad and wow he’s always wanted a family!!
you’re so relieved that he’s happy :)
but then he has to think realistically about this: you’re still a student, probably barely twenty one, and he’s a professor and things will be extremely complicated
he debates whether or not to tell professor min
because yoongi has been his friend forever and he actually helped him get the job at this uni and he probably wouldn’t judge him for it because he had seemed excited when hoseok told him about the wedding night (obviously spared of the details that the best Pussy of his life was miss y/n l/n)
“do...do you want to keep it?”
you look at him like OnO “yes :( is that okay”
“YES omg it’s okay!!! that’s our BABY!!!”
ok he’s so excited
“this is so weird and i never ever thought this would happen but!!!!!! i’m gonna be a dad???”
“yes!!!”
then
“wait fuck are you married or anything?” you have to ask it’s been bugging you all weekend. “because i’m happy with raising a baby with you but i don’t think i can handle telling ur wife or whatever that we had sex at a wedding.”
he finds this really funny
“no, i’m not married. i was drunk at the wedding but not drunk enough to cheat on someone :( i would never do that :(”
well.
THAT COVERS IT THEN
now he has to make plans to like. get to know you because there’s no way in hell his baby is gonna grow up with complicated parents like he wants his kid to have the best life ever :(
hoseok now also has to come to terms with the fact that seunghee knows he had sex with her best friend and is having a baby with her and now he’s horrified
“you did wHAT”
hoseok decided against his better judgement to tell yoongi about what’s going on
since you told your entire flat about it he figured it was only fair that he could also tell somebody he trusted
he has a couple of friends outside the department who he really trusts, like namjoon and seokjin, two married professors who teach literature and creative writing, and sociology, respectively, who will eventually find out, whenever he’s figured out what he’s going to do
considering everything, yoongi isn’t that put off by the fact that he knocked up a student
i mean, yes he’s shocked that it was you of all students ever and then he pieces together you going into his office and the way he had literally described you as “artistic and fascinating” and fucking hell he should have realised sooner
“i...kind of got her pregnant. which- before you yell at me, isn’t the end of the world because we’re both willing to give it 110%!”
“yeah i dont give a fuck about that- i’m still on about the fact that you came back here after that wedding and told me all the raunchy details about you and y/n and i called it hOT and now i find out its a student i KNOW?????? oh my god i need to lie down again.”
(he takes it well, and congratulates him)
meanwhile you’re already making plans to tell your family about it but you want to do it after the first scan
seunghee has done so much research on pregnancy that she was worried the school would catch on by reading the wifi bill and seeing that all she ever googles is “how big is a baby at six weeks?” or “when should i go for a baby scan?”
she seems to think that twelve to fourteen weeks is a good time to get the baby scan and that you’ll probably start showing by then which is the PERF time to tell everybody about it
at the moment you’re not too worried about telling your family
your mom is pretty understanding and your dad has been out of the picture for a while now, and you’re the baby sibling so at least she still has an older daughter to brag about
because from now on it’s gonna be “yeah this is my eldest she’s a LAWYER and this is my youngest haha she fucked her biology professor”
not that she’d use those words
you’re actually more afraid of what people at uni are gonna think when you start showing because you’re not really up for missing out a whole 9 months just to be a year behind your friends
and morning sickness was so awful this morning that you just couldn’t be bothered to go in for class today
thankfully it was just a free sort of day where kids either did the art marathon or worked for their midterms so you could sort of afford to miss a day
guk went to class for an hour before coming back to the flat and haseul didn’t have classes that day so once again, art attack squad just had a nice day at home
haseul is most concerned about the baby and the baby’s health and so went through a crazy moment of trying to eliminate foods that are bad for you during pregnancy
“where’s all my chocolate gone?” “well i moved it so that you can limit yourself on what you eat! chocolate isn’t great for your skin and you should probably start eating healthy if you want the little honey to be nice and healthy when they arrive!”
haseul has money on it being a little girl
guk and seunghee want it to be a boy and jimin is the type of person to have no opinion until the baby is born and then proceeds to say, “see! i told you it would be a boy/girl!”
since you last saw hoseok, he hasn’t really decided what he’d like them to come out as yet; yoongi wants it to be a girl, though
seunghee actually went to class and ended up waiting behind afterwards to give him all the updates
“is she doing okay?” “yES she’s amazing and the baby is doing so well too!!! i mean it’s only been about seven weeks and so y/n is like barely showing, but he’s about the size of a blueberry! isn’t that cute?”
then she pauses and is like, “wait...we live off campus so like. do you want to maybe come round? and see her? i think she’d appreciate seeing you.”
“ᶜᵃⁿ ᶦ?” hoseok is really excited because yeah he does like you and he’d see you whenever he could but 1) he didn’t know how to contact you and 2) where do you even live because if its on campus he definitely can’t pop round and be like “wassup where’s my baby mama”
anyway he comes round with her and you’re very unprepared to see hoseok and seunghee step through the front door
jeongguk is like midway through kissing your tummy over and over and haseul is on amazon looking at baby clothes because she “has to be ready for any opportunity”
of course anything can happen and she’s praying that nothing bad happens because she just found the cutest bear onesie ever and OOPS its in her cart
“it’s,” gesturing to guk and his lips on your stomach, eyes wide, “not what it looks like!”
but hoseok just laughs and puts down his bag and is like, “hehe i know. how are you!”
guk clears out to another part of the couch and decides that he has to, before he dies, see a y/n and hoseok interaction and he can hardly contain his excitement when hoseok sits down next to you and looks at you with a fond ass expression
“good! i had a little bit of morning sickness, but i’m okay. how are you?”
and hoseok’s like well i’m not currently carrying a baby im fine of course i’m fine i want to know about you
because it came to his attention when he was with yoongi earlier that he really doesn’t know anything about you PERIODT
and he wants to know everything and anything
at that point guk takes his leave and he, haseul and seunghee go to the kitchen to give you and hoseok some of your own private space
“i cant believe professor jung is in my living room right now...”
“I WALKED ACROSS CAMPUS WITH HIM GUK I WAS FREAKING OUT THE ENTIRE TIME!!!”
meanwhile you and hoseok are taking the moment to get to know each other
because in about 9 months time or whatever you’re gonna be parents
so you gotta know everything
hoseok learns a lot of things about you: your love for chocolate, that strawberry milk is your favourite flavour, your favourite colours are natural colours like white and beige and browns, your favourite movie or your favourite song…….
and you learn quite a few things about him in return: growing up he always loved science, he wanted to go into dance during high school but it clashed with science club so he gave it up, his favourite flavour milk is banana and his favourite colour is yellow…...
“mm i knew the yellow already :)”
“oh yeah?” hoseok has an arm around your shoulders, one hand stroking the side of your face and the other brushing against your stomach. “how?”
“the rug in your office. and the fact you like banana milk,” you laugh.
“what? the banana milk has nothing to do with it.”
“it does, don’t lie.”
“okay, but it’s not the main reason!!!”
once again it begins to feel like you’ve known hoseok for years and wow it’s so easy to talk to him and he’s so gentle and nice You’re ready to donate your whole heart to him on the spot
“so i was thinking actually,” you propose suddenly, and at this point the gang have come out of the kitchen and are gathered in the living room (jeongguk said that he’s technically in-laws with hoseok now and so there’s no point avoiding it) “that we should go out together this weekend.”
hoseok grins: “are you asking me out on a date right now?”
“yes,” you nod with a firm look. “yes, i am. i am taking authoritative because you’re slow and i want to go on a date with you. i wanna get to know you and work on this.”
hoseok agrees and presses a warm kiss to your temple. “mm, okay then, honey. it’s a date.”
(jimin gets home late and kicks off his shoes by the door. “GUYS!!! YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO LOOKED MIGHTY FINE THIS MORNING!! If you guessed Professor Min, then you were RIGHT!! At this rate, Y/N won’t be the only person knocked up by a science professor cause I’m telling you, I’m ready for Professor Min to tell me the exact speed of light whilst balls deep in my a- OH. Uh. Hi, Professor Jung. Nice day?”)
((nobody knows how to move on from that.))
it’s been exactly 9 weeks since your little honey has been conceived :D
hoseok comes to visit more frequently and he now has your number and emergency contact details so whenever he can, he’s asking how you and the baby are and stuff
he texts asking about your day a lot
mostly about the baby though
from hoseok: what are naming it ^_^
to hoseok: hmm i believe we haven’t gone over the names yet :)
from hoseok: i meant like a nickname!!
from hoseok: yoongi has been calling them “squid” because when we became friends we bonded over someone calling a sperm cell a squid cell and i guess it kind of stuck
to hoseok: omg i dont wanna call them squid then :-(
from hoseok: hmm how about simply ‘baby’?
but i want u to call me baby…
from hoseok: but i wanna call YOU baby and it might get confusing...little one? little guy?
to hoseok: haseul thinks its a girl teeheehee
from hoseok: so i’ve been told
from hoseok: okay, how about honey? i know i call you honey sometimes but honey can be exclusively our baby name
to hoseok: hmm
to hoseok: honey is cute :3
from hoseok: haha okay baby, honey it is then!
you’re waiting until week 14 for an ultrasound
seunghee did more research and said 14 is a lucky number and so it just seemed right
and also most women go around 14 weeks and later because by then the gender will be revealed and that’s exciting!!
THANKFULLY you weren’t planning to visit family for christmas because they’re abroad visiting family and so at least you can surprise them when they’re back with a baby scan and hoseok :D
“did you also know that the baby is now the size of a cherry?” guk said suddenly one evening, as he lay next to you in his bed, by the way, WHY you were in his bed when he woke up he has no idea. “that’s so cute. little cherry all snug in there, huh.”
you find that jeongguk is now...abnormally nice
like you loved that you and jeongguk could be brutal to each other and still be fine in the next three minutes
but ever since you found out you were pregnant, he’s been toning it down a lot
truthfully he doesn’t want to overdo it and add any stress on you during the pregnancy, and he just wants to be supportive and be ‘the best uncle in the business’, to which jimin competes
haseul and seunghee are the ideal best friends in this situation: haseul is so ready to be an aunt it’s crazy and she already has an amazon cart full of cute things and seunghee already claimed dibs on helping you and hoseok set up a nursery for the baby
it’s still being decided but there’s a big chance you and hoseok will move in together to raise baby honey together
the house you were eyeing is relatively close to campus and to flat 18, which they’re planning to rent out for the next two years of uni after this one
so it’s close to honey’s aunts and uncles and also close for hoseok to get to work and for you to get to classes
jimin is the friend who still doesn’t really know what to do in this situation
he replaced jeongguk as the annoying younger brother type, even though he’s a few months older than both you and jeongguk, he’s such a brat lmao
10 weeks
“i’m convinced that my boobs have got bigger- haven’t they gotten bigger?”
so it is one of those days where hoseok is free to come and visit you at the Holy flat 18
it’s become his second home because he comes by so often
seunghee isn’t so weirded out by her professor being basically one of her friends, and in-fact she tries to abuse this by trying to get him to give her “in-law special treatment”
(“i gave you special treatment on your ugly volcano!” “OI the mother of your child helped make that volcano!!!”)
he really doesn’t give any bias tho he basically passes everybody
“i mean,” hoseok begins, and you move between his legs for him to get a good angle. considering you two haven’t been ‘together’ long, you’re incredibly comfortable around him. “yeah, actually. wow, they have!”
“rIGHT? none of my bras fit me anymore. oh god, i’m gonna have to start buying granny bras- do you think they’ll get that big?”
“it’s possible. all women increase in size during pregnancy. actually, some can lose weight instead of putting it on.”
“not me.”
“no, but you look healthy and gorgeous and i like it.”
you giggle- the same giggle he remembers you doing on the Big Night- and shuffle into some bigger trousers that you and haseul went to buy a few days ago
clothes just aren’t fitting anymore and so while you’re upgrading to trendy maternity-style clothes haseul and seunghee are super excited to go to town with outfits they can make from your wardrobe
“well, good! because you’re stuck with me for the next….like, nine months.”
“technically, it’s seven months now.”
you glare
“but i’m gonna still be here after those seven months!!!”
“good!!! you better be,” you shuffle over to sit next to him with your legs around him- one behind and one over his lap and he smiles down at you, “because i’m growing fond of you.”
“well that’s convenient, because i’m rather fond of you, too.”
outside the door, jimin starts laughing “wtf it’s 2018 who says fond anymore?”
12 weeks :)
this morning you realise
wow
i’m actually pregnant pregnant
you’re starting to show now and honestly...looking at it, you realise how creepy baby bumps are
“oh my GOD, seunghee come look at it now it’s gotten really big!”
it’s not even that big
but it’s bigger
seunghee is so excited about this fact
the flat have been taking pictures of the bump every week and printing it so they can keep a timeline for when honey is born
jeongguk and seunghee are still dead set on honey being a little baby boy but haseul is trying to convince them otherwise
“we’re calling her honey for now, right? so, what i have planned, is, we buy her a bee onesie. representing both bees AND the bee movie. worlds best dressed baby.”
you started to develop a fear of going to class because you’re unsure on how people will take the news that you’re pregnant
you’re not that much of a popular person but everybody in the class knows you well enough to know that you’re not the type to sleep around
so it would be a valid shock to hear that you’re pregnant
but you have to go because you can’t afford to miss anymore classes
and you also have to….break the news to your professors because at some point you’re going to have to have a lot of time off to pop out a human being
“he’s the size of a plum by now, isn’t he?”
jeongguk is particularly excited about honey this morning and he has literally not shut up about them since you got into class
“yes, THEY are about the size of a plum- did seunghee tell you that?”
“omg no im a good best friend and i did all my research!! it’s so cute that they compare honey to fruits online- next week he’s gonna be as big as a lemon!”
class is….just your luck, pretty busy today
most students are in the drawing rooms and a few are drawing a still life model
jeongguk gets right to work finishing his final project while you head to the office to speak to your professor, who is really lazy and sits in his office all day and doesn’t even supervise
professor choi, the lovely lady who ends up running all classes, is the dearest angel and you’re ready to chat to her next
professor bowen, your grouchy art professor, is literally so :| when you break the news
like he could not give two shits
he puts down his coffee and is like “oh. well, i couldn’t tell. congratulations, talk to the dean about your maternity dates. and shut the damn door behind you.”
like
damn sir okay
professor choi <3 is so <3 excited <3
she immediately goes to touch your stomach and then quickly stops herself like “oops, silly me! i remember when i had my first child i was so picky with who could touch my belly!! heeheehee how many weeks are you darling!!”
she’s already getting so excited and inviting herself to the birth
like please professor choi
we love you but please don’t turn up for the birth
PLEATHE
she keeps making invitations to bring the baby to classes when they’re born because “obviously im amazing with babies and ooh i just can’t wait to see them! jeongguk- don’t tell me you stepped up and did this all by yourself?”
jeongguk nearly throws up
“EWWWWWWW wtf i mean y/n babe i love you but EWWHJFHJKS why would i want to be with y/n she’s like my annoying sister! no the daddy is ho-”
and you’re like BITCH STOP!!!
“....honestly the best man on planet earth? you definitely don’t know him at all.”
14 weeks :)
“okay, miss l/n. it’s going to feel a little bit cold, but we’re going to put some ultrasound gel on your stomach now, is that okay?”
it’s the day of the ultrasound!!!
for you and hoseok this is the Big moment next to birth because it’s almost like final confirmation that there’s a baby in there
at this point you’re starting to show a lot
it’s big enough for you and flat 18 to know there’s a difference
but tbh if people didn’t know you they might just think you’ve got a few pounds on you and nobody cares at all at uni like literally nobody gives a fuck about what anybody else looks like
hoseok got permission of the dean to get the day off (he told them that his girlfriend was going for an ultrasound and so he just had to be there, and the dean, not knowing any better, was all smiles and said, “of course, professor jung! congratulations! i didn’t know you were expecting, or even dating!”)
because the best thing about being jung hoseok is the fact that he’s well known and it gets him out of trouble sometimes
thankfully the dean is old and dumb and didn’t clock on to the fact that you paid her a visit like a few weeks prior asking about maternity dates :)
PHEW!!!
jung hoseok’s job: saved
hoseok is holding your hand reassuringly and is sitting to your left, the other hand on your ankle and his leg is going cRAZY it’s just bobbing like heck next to the bed
a part of him is still really sort of insecure because even though the sonographer and nurse present don’t know that hoseok is a professor at your uni, he still feels really weird knowing who he is and how you could do better and could be doing better and more if it weren’t for stupid him not putting on a condom
he is so excited to have this baby but he thinks about that a lot, about how he’s basically ruined your life by putting a baby inside of you
you look incredibly excited though, lying on the bed with your eyes really wide and expectant because omg this is your baby!!!!
now that you’re here there’s some finality
ever since you found out you were pregnant there had been so many doubts but now that you’re here, with hoseok, about to see honey for the first time…
alexa play Despacito cause this is epic
“okay. let’s see what your baby is getting up to in there!”
this sonographer is really enthusiastic apparently
“alrighty. so, as you can see...oh! always a good sign- we have a confirmed heartbeat. usually that puts parents at ease, knowing their baby is all okay and healthy in there!”
and then she starts listing off various body parts but in all honesty you cant see a thing
hoseok is very interested in the screen and his smile gets wider at every body part she lists off
you really should be invested in the baby inside of you but when he smiles like that :( you just wanna grab him and kiss him really deeply
“everything seems to be perfectly fine with your baby, miss l/n. a very beautiful baby. they’re about the size of a peach right now, isn’t that just incredible?”
hoseok’s grinning like it’s his default facial expression
he squeezes your hand really tight and kisses it three times
“that’s our baby,” you say, still in motherly awe. “they’re real! we did THAT!”
“yeah, we did,” he replies, lips still pressed against your skin. “i’m proud of you.”
“i haven’t done anything yet!”
but really you have
to him you’re one of the bravest people he’s ever met in his entire life and he knows it must be so so hard for you to accept the fact that you’re having a baby aged 20 during uni
not that it’s uncommon but it’s just….not particularly ideal? at this moment in time?
“im so happy right now.”
“me too, baby.” you squeeze his hands, “me too!!!! our baby!!!! honey is the size of a peach already!!!”
he starts laughing
hoseok is just so overwhelmed with emotions he genuinely feels like he might cry rn
“i’m so happy it’s with you,” he says honestly and like the nurse is like :’) and you’re like :’o “it could have been anyone at any point in my life, but i’m so glad it’s with you.”
you look at him in awe
because that’s the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to you
like
ever
you tug him gently by the hand and he brings himself forward and
SMOOCH
you believe this is the first kiss he has given you since the “big shindig” (for some reason, flat 18 are obsessed with calling everything a shindig and so it just sort of stuck)
so it’s a big deal
and it’s also at the place where your pregnancy was confirmed
it’s perfect
the nurse is like AWWWWWWWWW
the sonographer is just like “anyways ! do you want to know the gender !!!”
you and hoseok have talked about maybe finding out sooner
it would put flat 18 at rest knowing if honey is a girl or a boy
but deep down it’s like...if honey is a boy or a girl for definite you don’t want the nickname honey to go away when you start referring to it as a name you both like...and plus like isnt it way too early
hoseok is happy with whatever choice you want because he likes the element of surprise
you two decided a couple of days ago that it could be super cute to have a reveal party
jimin was particularly excited about that idea (“I’M GONNA MAKE THE CUPCAKES”)
“um actually, can you like put it in an envelope!! we want to have a reveal party so it’s gonna be a surprise for now!”
the nurse and stuff are like “omg yes of course!!” and so it’s sealed away in a little envelope
“i can’t believe we’re actually like...almost parents,” hoseok says on the way back to the car.
“i know. it’s so weird. i can’t believe WE’RE having a kid together.”
hoseok helps strap you in because he’s one of THOSE expecting fathers who like as soon as he knows it’s happening he’s cautious about EVERYTHING
literally everything
falling out of bed when he’s staying over? not allowed, he’s making pillow barriers
tripping over rugs? the rug is being rolled up and put away
hotel? trivago
“it’s actually super funny to me because like i always fantasised about boning the Daddy of biology and look at where we are right now!!”
he starts the car- “the ‘daddy of biology’? what??”
and you’re like, “oh yeah oops haha basically i had a fat old crush on you and we all started calling you that.”
“i’m...honoured? well i knew you had a crush on me already, heehee”
as he pulls out of the hospital he glances over and grins to himself. “if it makes you feel better, i remember telling yoongi about the cute friend of seunghee who comes to my class every other day. yoongi made fun of me for weeks afterwards, and now look at us!!”
(yes it boosts your ego a little bit)
when christmas comes around hoseok makes an ultimate surprise
you end up showing off the baby scan like it’s a broken wrist in primary school because everybody wants to see the little honey
jeongguk is CONVINCED he can see a penis and so he’s like 98% sure it’s a baby boy
haseul tells him several times that it’s literally honey’s foot but he’s having none of it
you call your mom and tell her that you’re coming to see her in early january
(specifically january 4th)
she’s weirdly suspicious about it but nonetheless excited
hoseok has made plans for you to meet his family just afterwards so you’re going to be showing off the scan quite frequently
flat 18 don’t like doing gifts at christmas but jimin always bakes goodies for the flat
this year you’re particularly upset because you have yet to taste jimin’s christmas cookies and you already took your recommended amount of sugar by the time his cookies are done
“one cookie won’t hurt honey,” seunghee says
“i’m not taking aNY risks with it!!!”
hoseok makes a stop by the flat after you’ve had your first christmas dinner as a flat <3 aw
he shocks everybody when he walks in because he’s gone the extra mile and got gifts for everybody in the flat
“it’s just a way of me saying thanks for looking after my babies,” he says as he hands out the gifts
you can literally feel jeongguk’s smirk
and of course !!! he got you like three gifts because you’re secretly like the love of his life
even though it’s really not a secret but still
he mostly gets you the typical christmas things like things he knows you wanted (like that sailor moon designer ring that you don’t need really but omg its gorgeous and you want matching)
the last gift is really small and you’re like :O because the small gifts are usually the super thoughtful ones
it’s keys….
you’re almost like “HUH”
then it clicks
“oh...my...GOD?????”
hoseok bought the place you and him went to check out a few weeks back (the one just a few minutes away from the flat and campus)
AND IT DOESN’T END THERE
he’s all giggly and happy when you start BLUBBERING about how you own a house and now you can get a nursery and omg no more listening to jimin and jeongguk screaming over super smash ultimate in the living room
“because i think it’s time we live together, as a family, you know?” he says, holding you in his arms and kissing your face really sweetly. “it’ll be so good, living with my girlfriend and soon enough, my baby.”
“g-girlfriend?”
“well, yeah baby, of course. wanna be my girlfriend? please?”
you cry even more
“wtf yes of course i do :(”
(flat 18 are extremely territorial and are only settled and content with you leaving when hoseok takes them to the house and they’re like :D okay we’re coming over every weekend)
((haseul cries when she sees the room that’s gonna be the nursery))
15 weeks ^_^
“what if your mom beats my ass?”
today is january 4th which means it is the day that hoseok is going to meet your family
and also the day they are going to indirectly meet the little honey :’)
honey is now the size of a navel orange according to the website that everyone in flat 18 has pinned on their laptop chrome browser
which is really cute
jimin is the flat 18 member who likes to call honey everything but honey and recently started nicknaming them after the fruits on the website
so he’s like, “good morning little satsuma!” or “hello navel orange, how are you?” when he sees you around the flat
you’re probably going to be officially moved out by next week which is really exciting teeheehee
“she won’t….probably. my mom is really nice! she’ll like you!”
“will she still like me when she finds out i teach biology to seunghee?”
“yes probably, i don’t think she really knows what that means.”
“what, biology?”
“no, i don’t think she’ll realise that you’re a professor at my- you know what, never mind that. did you lock the car?”
since christmas and becoming hoseok’s official girly, you two have just been closer than ever
hoseok is still really cautious about the baby stuff because this is obviously his first baby ever
he’s that person who thinks having sex will like kill the baby
of course, he did try it once
just to say he’d had sex with a pregnant lady
“that’s one for the bois.”
“what bois, you don’t have any friends, baby.”
“NOT true i have like 3 friends!!”
when hoseok timidly knocks on your mom’s front door he’s so so nervous when a big buff man opens the door instead
inside he’s like wtf i thought y/n’s dad was like GONE
but then you’re like “oh hi daren! yeah, this is my boyfriend, hoseok, hoseok this is my mom’s boyfriend!”
you didn’t tell hoseok just because you got pleasure seeing him look so terrified at the thought of telling ur Dad that he knocked you up
thankfully you’re not close enough to daren for him to have any protective feelings for you
not like a close dad would anyway
when he meets your mom it’s literally like meeting an older You
like
your mom is so nice :(
she greets hoseok really really excitedly and is all for embarrassing you within 5 minutes of you coming home
“did you know that it’s been exactly four years and five months since y/n came home with a BOY? she never comes home with anybody!!! i thought she was joining a nunnery!!!”
like omg…..so funny…...really, like, joke of the year
your sister is also here and she’s looking at hoseok like -_o because…. “i’ve seen you somewhere…”
now you’re shaking
omg does she KNOW
“i mean, he was at [cousin’s name]’s wedding hahahha...that’s probably how u know him….small world.”
“ew what do you MEAN he was there- he’s not family is he?”
o.o
“wtf no he’s a friend of [groom’s name] wtf Why would i be dating him if he was family What is wrong with you?”
you guys have a nice little snack and tea together and hoseok starts to feel really comfortable
but then Mrs y/n puts down her tea and sits back in her chair, slapping her thighs: “alright then. so what’s this big surprise you have for us?”
oh
oh yeah he forgot about the fact that you’re having his kid and you’re about to drop the news
suddenly he wants to throw up the brownies he just ate
and your sisters blue shirt looks like a perfect place to throw up <3
“well, it’s kind of been a surprise to us all, actually,” you begin, and you take hoseok’s hands in your own and your sister narrows in on it and she knows like right away
she thought she saw the bump but didn’t want to mention it because You’re the sensitive sister and if it was just weight gain she didn’t wanna handle you crying everywhere
but now she knows and she sits back in her seat and starts to smile
she wants to say something but hoseok looks at her like owo please don’t say anything sis
(she doesn’t)
“but, me and hoseok are in a very...close relationship-”
“oh god you got married didn’t you.”
“um, no, but, i’m sure that’s in the future, right? y-yeah? right, yeah, um…”
“it’s not something we’re discussing right now,” hoseok blurts out. “but, i mean, i want to? soon? like later?”
your mom is literally there like “well what is it????”
“.....i’m pregnant.”
“...oh.”
...
...
“REALLY???????”
your mom is shook to the core
she really doesn’t believe you until you whip out the baby scan
and she starts sobbing
like full on sobbing like she’s just been punched in the face by bowser
daren is all smiles and is like “wow congrats!”
your sister hugs both you and hoseok and says to hoseok in his ear “can you please sign my copy of “ouch mitosis” because it’s my favourite book and i totally knew you were famous the moment you walked in” and pulls away and is like “im so excited to be an aunt!!! what’s the gender!!! when are they due!!! what are you gonna call them!!!!”
needless to say your sister leaves with a signed copy of hoseok’s big money book
and your mom is now 100% hooked on the baby being called honey
week 17 :-)
you and hoseok are now homeowners officially !!!!!
flat 18 have come down to visit as a sort of moving in house-warming party and hoseok invited his “three friends” (by friends he means work colleagues lmao)
jimin is still weirded out by the fact that professor jung heard him talking about his fantasy of having professor min inside his GUTS and so tries to avoid hoseok and yoongi when they are together
hoseok also cannot forget hearing that :-( his ears :-( are tainted :-(
it’s your first real time meeting hoseok’s friends
like you’ve never really met namjoon or seokjin but you know of them
because everybody knows about the married Gays of your uni like it made the news and everybody was invited to their after party last year
(yes you went but only like for fifteen minutes because you remembered that you had an art history essay due the next morning that hadn’t been done)
for the sake of you and honey, seunghee tries not to be weirded out by the fact that so many members of staff are at your house and wtf hi professor min WHY are you here again
“can i touch?” seokjin asks really suddenly after hoseok is showing yoongi and namjoon the room that will be the nursery
currently it’s empty with like one box and that one box is full of clothes haseul ordered on impulse
“um. yes!!”
“are you sure? i know some moms get really protective over who touches and i don’t wanna overstep-”
“put ur freakishly big hand on my belly right now!”
he does and he gets really excited touching because he’s never actually touched a baby belly before
namjoon is most excited about the nursery and he’s listing off things hoseok could get
like “OOOO you could totally get one of those really big stuffed bears if you’re going for neutral tones- wait, that’s such a good idea? i’ll order one.”
and hoseok’s like mm okay sweetie sure whatever spend your money on me it’s okay
yoongi is really just. in awe of the baby scan
like it’s not even his baby and he’s tearing up like wtf that’s his niece or nephew that’s his mf baby!!!!!! that’s gonna be the person he spends all his cash on!!!!! he’s so excited to be broke and baby whipped!!!
“and so what, you’re like seventeen weeks?”
“yep! i’m almost four months uwu!!! honey is as big as a pomegranate, how cute!! time flies when you’re having fun huh!”
seokjin pauses and asks the big question like “but like what are you going to do about maternity? are they letting you have days off school? because i can totally send one of my sociology kids to take notes in your lectures because i have authority apparently and you’re like. family? i could do that.”
and you’re like “omg pls no that kid needs their own education!!!” and you tell him that your professors and the dean let you have time off near the due date (which should probably be around june!! a summer babie)
“but it sucks because i wanted to have a gender reveal party and invite some people from uni but then they’re gonna find out that hoseok is the dad and he could like lose his job :(”
and then seokjin is like: “wait but you study art and not biology?”
… “what do you mean?”
“well, policy says that you can’t have a relationship between a teacher and their student. but if you’re in completely different departments….and he doesn’t teach you, therefore can’t have bias over your grades or anything like that…..then really you’re allowed to be with him.”
..
what
wHY DIDN’T YOU KNOW THIS????
“since when is that a thing????”
“since like. the day our uni was founded?????”
ob viously when hoseok finds out he’s like O____O “how did you know that omg??”
and seokjin is so done he’s just sitting there with his face looking like this -__-
“it’s literally in the Faculty Handbook that you’re supposed to read before you join the uni as a teacher…”
and hoseok scoffs and grins sheepishly, “yeah well yoongi got me the job so i didn’t read any of that.”
(from across the room jimin groans)
((“so i guess this means i can’t seduce yoongi at a family wedding huh.”))
week 20 :’)
you have somehow adopted the name of “campus milf”
which jimin doesn’t think is that bad of a nickname
“it could be worse, y/n. let that sink in.” and he’s right it really could be worse
nobody actually really cares that you’re pregnant like really they could care less
some students say weird things but it doesn’t really bother you bc like lmao? who even are you Jongin Get out of here!
people aren’t 100% familiar with hoseok being the father but it goes without saying that it will be around campus in less than 15 hours because majority of the art department were present for the gender reveal and oh look
jeongguk invited taehyung and taehyung invited his friends and now there’s a whole bunch of jocks at the gender reveal party?????
the party is obviously at your house
YOUR HOUSE!!!! YES MF THATS URS!!!!
you invited your close family and flat 18 of course and jeongguk invited taehyung who invited his girlfriend binnie and his roomie jackson and jackson, being part of the football team, invited some of the jocks
you would have cared if the jocks hadn’t brought gifts but half of them turned up with a gift or food and so you’re like “okay well come on in boys i’m y/n hi we’ve literally never ever met”
it looks really funny seeing jocks in their fucking JERSEYS (like they couldn’t have changed for this one occasion) standing around your backyard with glasses of wine
oK maybe jeongguk has a vodka and dr pepper but that’s because he did blow up all the balloons from his lungs alone and he deserved a reward
hoseok invited his family too and his friends and that’s about it
your art professor is also here too and she is technically half of the art department (or half of those you care about because weird quiet kid Jisung didn’t wanna show up which is honestly really rude and suddenly you’re not friends anymore)
even though this party technically reveals the gender, you both asked for “gender neutral” clothes and by gender neutral you meant any colour besides the stereotypical blue and pink
because what if honey really likes the colour green? what then
you and hoseok let jimin be in charge of the reveal party and he’s done a pretty good job
for some reason he’s wearing his hoodie up and you’re like “literally what the fuck it’s sunny today?”
and he’s all surrender hands: “that’s exactly why. i don’t...like the sun.”
“what do you mEAN??????? you love the sun don’t lie??!!”
a couple of weeks ago you and hoseok made another visit to the hospital to see if the gender was 100% accurate
the process was weirdly fast and the sonographer was like “lol yeah it’s right” and then dipped
so when you have jimin the envelope he has peeped and done the thing
“haha lol i knew it.”
“no you didn’t??????”
but he did a really lovely job; there’s a cluster of balloons and cakes decorated with the Blue and Pink and there’s like a cute game on like guess the gender or something you don’t really care much about
hoseok’s family really want it to be a boy <3
mrs y/n wants it to be a girl and so does your sister <3
you don’t really care just as long as the baby is okay and healthy <3
when it’s time to reveal the gender jimin has decided that a fantastic way to do that is by giving you and hoseok like one of those party poppers that when it pops it bleeds like coloured confetti and stuff
you actually really like the idea because it’s not as awkward as a cake where you cut and it’s awkwardly long and the reaction feels kind of forced (you youtubed reveal parties)
so this one is really like a quick reaction so hopefully it will feel a lot more genuine!
“are you ready, baby?”
hoseok has one arm wrapped firmly around your waist and oh LAWD
he’s doing the smile
you know the smile
you nod and grin at him like “yep! let’s see who honey really is!!!”
so everybody is ready
so excited
jeongguk is filming like he can feel it in his bones rn that this babie is gonna be a boy
like it’s gonna be his son...half son….almost son….technically his non biological son
everybody does a countdown
“three!”
hoseok smiles super excitedly
“two!”
he kisses your lips super fast and laughs quietly
he’s so excited
“one!”
POP
wait what
you can feel your stomach CHURNING when the party popper releases literally nothing but black and white confetti
what just happened?
what does black and white mean?
you’re looking desperately between hoseok and the popper and then back to jimin who’s faking a :O by the patio doors
jeongguk is like “aw fuck should i restart?”
“omg is it a dud? what happened is this a busted popper please say it is omg is there something wrong with honey? is honey okay? oh my god is honey dead? oh my god why would we party pop that?????”
hoseok’s like “omg calm down it’s just a dud omg it’s okay”
you’re literally like about to cry
then jimin steps forward
“guys!”
and everybody looks
“yall gonna stress me the fuck out”
and in a viral video like fashion
he yanks down his hoodie and
oh wow
his head is a giant mop of blue
blue
BLUE MEANS BOY
ITS A BOY
everybody starts screaming and clapping and jeongguk is laughing his ASS off like this shit about to be the blurriest gender reveal video ever
“omg a boy!!! a boy!!! y/n we’re having a son!!! omg y/n our baby!!! our little honey!!!”
hoseok is over the freaking moon
like he has not been this excited since the first baby scan
you actually start crying now
“i’m not CRYING it’s just the pregnancy…. ok fuck OFF IM CRYING IM SO HAPPY!!! i’m having a son!!!!”
time for haseul to be both happy and sad at the same time
seunghee and jeongguk are like sucking eachothers titties right now like they are so hyped
“TOLD YOU !!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!”
hoseok brings you in for the biggest and longest kiss Ever
like you haven’t had many long kisses with hoseok because it’s been trying to build up a relationship time for the past three months of your life
but this kiss is so loving you almost faint
he brings you in so gently and holds your head in his hands
one thumb rubs across your cheekbone and wow. this kiss...is so good like are those stars???
“i love you.”
alexa...ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO RIGHT NOW
“i love You more,” you whisper against his lips and he makes this really cute noise at the back of his throat (kinda like one of those whines you do where it’s like too good to be true) and he kisses you again
jeongguk zooms in
“look at this….ugh, no respect for any single people here.”
(for a brief moment jimin’s bleached blue scalp goes unnoticed until yoongi compliments him on it)
((he disappears for like fifteen minutes in the toilet and yoongi doesn’t wanna know what he was doing))
22 weeks!!!!
hoseok really probably shouldn’t find you sexy right now
you keep going on and on and on about how un-sexy you are with swollen ankles and stuff
in his opinion you’re looking really good considering and he won’t say it but the weight gain looks good on you and it gives you a nice natural #dewy look that he really loves
he remembers how cautious he was about having sex with you at like. what? 10 weeks
character development time
he’s very aware of the research and the facts and so when you shuffle over to him and huff and act all extra EXTRA touchy he’s just knows
“omg are you horny AGAIN”
“im SORRY IT JUST HAPPENS”
and he doesn’t really care that you’re big and pregnant and yeah actually your ankles are kinda swollen but it’s fine
hoseok discovers that he actually really likes pregnancy sex
pregnancy sex always scared him bc omg what if my dick touches my KID that would be all levels of weird
but he is like a biology professor and knows that’s not realistic (he thinks)
and like he was aware that at some point during pregnancy, your body is gonna be producing a lot more fluid
but my GOD
he nearly bust a nut after 3 seconds because he just slid right in
unlike the big shindig 22 weeks ago, hoseok is so so SO careful during pregnancy sex
like he’s extra loving and strokes your hair and kisses your face and arms and stomach
he loves kissing ur tummy :(
esp after sex because he’s like “im sorry honey :( i know you must be traumatised in there.”
but in the moment he really does take advantage of the fact that your hormones are going crazy and it’s not gonna last forever
you’re a talker in bed and he knows that
you’re very vocal about how things feel and some of the things you say really get to his ego like his head is so big rn
“oh...OH, omg, yep, you found it, oh fuck- yes! hoseok, yes, right there-”
and you sound so fucking hot but he can’t be rough bc like Honey is gonna be SCARRED FOR LIFE
your thing is saying i love you during sex
like a lot
hoseok finds it so endearing that you talk and whine with like every thrust and then spill out a thousand “i love you’s” in under thirty seconds as you cum <3 because <3 that’s his girl <3 that’s the love of his life <3 and she loves him back <3 heeheehee
his heart swells with pride
((hoseok also gets extremely turned on that one time you call him daddy during sex and he HAS to find out how to get rid of that kink before honey gets here))
23 weeks :P
as promised, you invite seunghee to help you and hoseok paint the nursery
jimin came too but he literally did nothing
all he did was sit on the floor looking at baby furniture like
jimin sweetie these walls aren’t gonna paint themselves
you have decided on a cream and beige coloured nursery
because it’s unisex and also makes the room feel really bright and clean and nice for when honey arrives
hoseok loves yellow and since the nursery is primarily your favourite colours, a lot of smaller accessories are yellow around the room
seunghee had so much fun looking for ~yellow~ items because “monkeys totally match the theme and omg this mobile is monkeys and bananas its already on its way i’ve just ordered it.”
the nursery takes roughly around a week to get done completely
alongside your studies, some other art students who are now very aware of the baby and the bump helped paint some of the furniture while you were catching up on some work
example a: you accidentally ordered a dark brown chester drawers and when it arrived you cried for like 45 minutes
jeongguk asked some kids from class to come by your house after class and help paint it so you didn’t feel so stressed and so you could actually finish your art assignments in prep for exams
hoseok and jeongguk helped put up the crib because “this is not a one man job, y/n, this...this is a test of skill.”
yoongi comes around often to look at the nursery and he’s the person who won’t buy anything until the baby is out and in the world
namjoon definitely does buy the huge stuffed bear for the corner of the room and often you catch seunghee asleep against it because she comes by the nursery so often to help you and hoseok make it perfect
because hoseok has a full time job that really requires all of his time and sometimes he can’t be working on the nursery and marking essays at the same time :(
“hee, can you pass me the blankets from that box over there?” you point to a collection of boxes by the wardrobe and seunghee nods, practically running over
you’re both working on the nursery (it’s friday afternoon and classes are over, but unfortunately hoseok had to finish a meeting and he’s currently in his office ((at home)) finishing these essays for the weekend)
yoongi called and said he’d be round later because he wants to check in on honey (and you of course) and he’s also coming for dinner because it’s normal to invite jimin’s physics professor around
it’s totally fine
at this point you sort of forget that he’s a professor
yoongi has become like a permanent figure in your life since hoseok and you moved in
like flat 18, he’s literally always over
seunghee fishes out like three blankets because lord knows you have about three hundred thanks to haseul and namjoon and their impulsive buying
the nursery is basically finished at this point
all you’re doing is adding blankets and a few cute little pillows to the crib and then
hey pasta
it’s done :)
“y/n, i really can’t wait for honey to be here.”
you turn slightly and see seunghee running her hands over the chester drawers, looking at the cute little decorations and pictures on the wall and the monkey mobile and, her favourite part, the little bee wall stickers that hoseok found and thought were cute (“we call him honey, it seems fitting!”)
“me too,” you reply super honestly, setting down the blanket. “if you had told me at the start of september that i’d be here right now, in a house i own, pregnant with jung hoseok’s baby...i would have seriously laughed in your face.”
“i’m just...so happy that everything is working out for you!”
it’s time for seunghee to get especially sappy
“and i know that having a baby at twenty can be really hard and it hasn’t been easy for you- but i’m 100% here for you whenever you need me and i’m so so so so happy that jimin introduced us as friends because i love having you in my life….even though you slept with my biology professor….it’s okay….i love you so much….you’re like my sister and i’m so excited for honey have i said that i’m excited yet? cause i am!!!”
you blame pregnancy hormones because you start sobbing when seunghee blurts out all these lovely things
like how she’s grateful to be helping you in the nursery and how she thinks you and hoseok are such a good match and how she misses having you around the flat <3
“seunghee…” you bring her in for such a tight cuddle
seunghee is definitely that friend who even though she’s older she feels like the little baby sister that you want to protect from all harm on earth
even though she’s the oldest out of the flat 18 gang, you all look to her as like a baby sibling
(minus jeongguk that ONE TIME he made out with her….yes you remember the text message)
so you’re just hugging her in the middle of the nursery
hoseok is just about finished with essays and he refrains from like screaming out of joy
he loves being a professor but fucking hell
some of the GARBAGE his students write because they know he’s the cool professor who takes it easy on his kids
so he’s already packing everything away when he pauses
...is that...SQUEALING??
what’s happening??????
he assumes the worst and ZOOMS out of the office towards the nursery where you and seunghee are
safe to say that he’s so thankful nothing bad is happening
you’re holding your stomach with the widest eyes and smile and seunghee is like SQUEALING LIKE A DAMN PIGLET
“is everything okay???? what happened???? is honey okay?????? are you okay?????”
he blinks so confused when you wave your hands at him and beckon him closer
“HE KICKED HE’S KICKING QUICK QUICK HOBI QUICK--”
HE CROSSES THE ROOM SO FAST
seunghee is like crying to the side of the room and hoseok has both hands on your stomach
honey stopped kicking when hoseok put his hands on there
and he was like :( oh
“maybe he went to sleep?” seunghee doesn’t want hoseok to feel bad about it
you put your hands over his and then stroke your tummy
“it’s okay, honey, it’s just daddy! say hi to daddy?”
hoseok’s like seconds away from crying
like omg R His Eyes Filling Up
but then
honey starts kicking again
VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY
and hoseok goes from :’( to :’D in like 2 seconds
“oh my god he knows it’s me!!! hi honey!!!! hi!!!”
he drops to his knees so that he can be level with the stomach and around about where honey is kicking
“hi honey! it’s your daddy,” he puts on this really cute cooing voice Like the typical baby talk voice
seunghee is texting the flat like HONEY KICKED ME
“he knows your voice,” you say with a little laugh, one hand on your tummy and the other threading through hoseok’s hair
“this is amazing,” he mutters, and then kisses your tummy and smiles, “did you feel that, honey? can you hear me?”
KICK KCIK CKICKCKCKCIC
“omg yes i think he can hear you holy SHIT-”
“don’t swear in front of honey!!!”
“he HURTS!”
everybody forgot that jimin was still here because he was napping in the living room and so he comes in really late and is like “OMG HONEY IS KICKING? WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME??”
honey seems to be familiar with a lot of voices
he obviously really likes mommy’s voice and when she talks to him he likes to kick every once in a while
honey really loves daddy’s voice because when hoseok does his daily chit-chat honey goes crazy
honey also knows jeongguk’s voice really well
jimin is afraid to go near honey because he kicked him when he went to kiss your tummy
he also kicked haseul but she was like “OOOH HE HEARD ME!!!!” and doesn’t let it bother her because!!! she felt the kick!!!! that’s her nephew!!!!
26 weeks (yawn)
it’s starting to hit
the Pregnancy Pains
up until now you’ve been pretty blessed and actually it’s been a nice pleasant journey
but good grief it’s 4:56am and everything hurts
you physically cannot stay in bed any longer
for a moment you actually get really panicked because oh GOD labour is gonna be so much worse than this
like this is nothing
girl you have no idea what’s coming
hoseok has learned to become a light sleeper
you have a really weird sleeping schedule during pregnancy and sometimes he’d wake up at 6am to go to work and you’re already up doing stuff and he gets home at like 6pm sometimes and you’re flat out, then waking up at 3am to continue the day because you were in agony
so when you wake up at (nearly) 5am on a SATURDAY he’s like already up
his body clock is so weird now thanks to you and your weird sleeping habits
“hurts?” hoseok asks rubbing your back as you’re slumped over the side of the bed. he barely catches a nod and kisses your temple and hugs you, “i read on that baby website that baths can help ease the pain sometimes. should i run one?”
you nearly CRY
“yes yes Yes please omg :(”
so that’s how he got to where he is right now
sitting on the bathroom floor running a bath
he’s so careful to get the temperature right and he spends a good three minutes deciding which lush bath bomb is going to be used
(he settles on “honey bee” which was actually a gift he got you on valentines day but you never got around to using) ((he was skeptical because of the colours but baby is called honey so he thought it would be cute)) (((you loved it)))
you hobble into the bathroom and he’s just about finishing it up, running his fingers in the water to make sure it’s not toooOOO hot
you love watching the colours fizz in the bath and so naturally you have to be there to see it happen
seeing all the yellows was pretty exciting and hoseok’s just like :D watching you get happy by the colours
hoseok helps you get undressed as you just talk on and on and on
honestly
how do you have so much energy at like 5am in the morning…
he can’t help but notice how much you are GLOWING
like he hasn’t really seen many pregnant women
if any at all besides you
but you really look so pretty and natural and just wow he’s full of love
as you sit down in the bath, you grip onto his hand as he moves to get more comfortable and you’re like “do you wanna get in with me!!!”
“baby, i don’t think i’m gonna fit.”
“you will i promise, get in here!”
he’s skeptical
“yea...i don’t think im gonna fit, love.”
oh he does
he fits
if he fits he sits and he FITS
he really underestimated how wide this bath was and he sits with his back near the taps and you’re facing him
you have enough room to put your legs on either side of him and you’re like sitting between his legs and in all honesty the tummy is the only thing between you and him and his dick
but like you’ve seen it before you don’t care
and he certainly doesn’t care about seeing any bits of you bc your his bABY thats his GIRL
“this smells amazing.”
“yeah, smells like-”
“honey!”
with hoseok being like. a full time professor and with you trying to make it to classes in between awful pregnancy pains, it’s hard to find time to spend with you because he’s really busy
sometimes you do actually go to class and end up like falling asleep on the desk and professor choi is like torn between letting you stay there or sending jeongguk to get you and take you home
“thank you for this, hoseok.”
:D “hey, hey, hey...anytime you need anything, i will do it, okay?”
“i know babe and you’ve been so so so so helpful these past few months and i know it must have been hard and a big adjustment but im just so glad you’re here and that we’re raising a family together like this means so much to me that you’re here with me and i just love you a LOT okay like a lot-”
“y/n l/n!” hoseok playfully cuts you off and holds your face in his hands (his signature pussy-throbbing move)
his hands are wet and now so is your face but you really don’t care
“you are,” he continues, “the love of my life. i couldn’t let you do this alone. meeting you, being with you- starting a family with you has been one of the best experiences of my whole life. and i wouldn’t change that for anything!!! i love you so much, and i love you even when you’re cranky, and i love you when you ask for really disgusting things to eat, and i love you when you sing to honey in the mornings. i’m just...so in love with you and honey, i can’t even put it into words!!!”
and he starts speaking so damn fast
like you BARELY catch it
“and you’re thebest thing that has ever happened to me and introducing you to my family was the proudest moment of my life and we’re gonna be the best parents ever and god i love you more than anything i would Die for you.”
…
i…
damn…
“...i think writing a best selling book is probably more worthy of pride than boring old me.”
“books are like a ten man job thing. you and me and honey are a two person job thing and i’m so proud of us, so proud of you :(”
he draws you in with a really soft kiss and its so. soft. and nice.
yep his dick is right up against honey right now
honey, sweetie, im so sorry oh god close your eyes baby close ur eyes
…
“we should get out soon bc this water is looking really ugly.”
“yeah i agree let’s get out”
30 weeks :3
<Y/N has created a new chat!>
from haseul: eye
from y/n: baby shower. 2 weeks time. my house. bring gifts or food
from y/n: preferably mustard sandwiches or sardines :)
from guk: thats fucking NASTY nobody bring that
from hoseok: last week she wanted meatballs and milk………….
from guk: do pregnant women deserve rights? be honest
from y/n: well looks like guk is no longer invited :)
from guk: NO PLS
from seunghee: YEAH BOIIIIII I HAVE SO MANY GIFTS
from yoongi: why did y/n just privately message me asking for blended sardines Hell nah pregnant women dont deserve rights
from y/n: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN RN :(
from hoseok: so! bring cakes !!!!!!
from namjoon: i have the best gift ever Not To Brag
from jimin: hi professor min how do you like the weather today
<y/n has removed jimin from the chat>
from y/n: can you let taehyung know the date? i dont have his number but he gave really warm hugs when i last saw him and i want another one
from y/n: tell him to bring his girlfriend too she looks like she’ll bring me a good gift
from hoseok: omg im dating a gold digger….
32 weeks !!!!!!!
“baby showers are technically just a way for the mom to get gifts. this is technically baby exploitation-”
“oh my god jeongguk if you don’t shut up im gonna shove this stick of celery up ur ass”
not that you’re ready to admit it to anybody
but yeah you organised a baby shower just to get gifts
it’s really only small
in comparison to your gender reveal party which was quite large
and even though a lot of expecting moms like having “women only” baby showers
you realise that you really want hoseok to be there
he’s been as important in the process as you have and you wouldn’t want him to feel left out
so this baby shower is open to everybody
again it’s only small: attendees are hoseok, yoongi, namjoon, seokjin, flat 18, hoseok’s mom and sister, your sister and mom, taehyung and his gf and professor choi because she was so excited
that seems quite large but in comparison to the gender reveal party this is really quite small and humble
“i can’t believe it’s almost been 8 months already,” haseul says, already starting on the cupcakes
jimin has started baking things more frequently to keep himself busy during exam season
“mhm!!! not long now!!!”
thankfully hoseok’s mom and sister get on really well together with your family and professor choi is like boring yoongi to death talking about something art related
namjoon and seokjin are taking a look at the finished nursery because hoseok’s really proud of how it turned out
it’s time to open gifts uwu!!!
most of the gifts are for honey
thankfully everybody stuck to the cream theme and there’s a lot of cute cream things for honey to wear and use when he’s born
seunghee keeps buying monkey related things for honey meanwhile haseul is hung up on bees
namjoon buys a lot of bear things
you just hope that honey doesn’t grow up as a furry
jimin and jeongguk are the friends who buy those cringey weirdly inappropriate baby shirts that have quotes like, “daddy’s fastest swimmer!” or like onesies that say “my favourite food is titty!”
you sit there like what the FUCK is this
and jeongguk is like “it’s a shirt !!! honey will look so cute in it!!”
“hONEY IS NOT WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS THAT WHAT KIND OF MOM DO YOU THINK I AM??”
yoongi is weirdly fashionable with his baby clothes
like he has a thing for those teddy coats and he bought like eight in different colours
“honey might like red, you don’t know yet.”
namjoon and seokjin together :( give the cutest gift :(
“oK so most professors end up writing books and stuff-” side eye at hoseok - “and so i just thought that, well, honey is gonna wanna grow up reading and stuff so i made this book!!! well, we made this book. everyone helped somehow and jeongguk drew the pictures and it’s just a little something for honey to grow up with reading”
you wanna cry
hoseok wants to cry
haseul cries
it’s not even for her but she cries
“its JUST REALLY THOUGHTFUL OKAY?”
you think it ends there with everybody giving gifts
but oh no
no
hoseok has a gift??????????????
“this gift is for mommy” he says with a bright smile and out the corner of your eye yoongi is squirming with a smirk
...what does he know that you don’t….
your sister is also smiling……
where’s ashton kutcher…….
you unwrap this little box and open it and
wow
OOOOOOOOOF
you’re so still staring at this really gorgeously simple ring that you don’t even notice hoseok getting down on one knee
HASEUL IS REALLY CRYING RN
“with honey close on the way, i figured i ought to ask before things get crazy.”
omg you brave looking at him and hes got that look again
THE FOND LOOK
AND YOUR EYES START FILLING UP
“y/n l/n i love you and i wanna spend the rest of my life with you :’) will you marry me?”
there is not a dry eye amongst flat 18 right now
haseul actually has to go outside because omg she’s so happy for you
seunghee teared up a little bit and jimin cried but then started laughing
jeongguk is being so dramatic about it
he’s crying as if his pet dog just died
“i...cant believe….my girl is all grown up….i cant...breathe rn omg…..can someone get me a drink?”
35 weeks :o
finals are here
but since jeongguk and haseul are art (sort of) majors their finals were earlier than other subjects
and so you decide to brave life and visit flat 18 :’)
you see a bunch of people on the way there because apparently a lot of people live off campus and walk at the same time as you
like why is everybody here rn
at this point you get a few more stares because
omg is that y/n l/n she’s HUGE!!!!!
you’re genuinely past caring at this point
you’re huge and your pregnant and you’re confident
jeongguk and haseul are the only ones at flat 18 when you arrive
it feels weird being back but it’s nice because flat 18 was once your home
your room hasn’t really changed much and you discover that . sometimes taehyung stops round and crashes in YOUR ROOM???
and if it’s not taehyung then it can be any one of their friends they invite around
which you’re only slightly hurt about
“jesus CHRIST you’re massive!!!”
“thanks jeongguk that makes me feel soOoooO good about myself <3”
“NO, fuck,” and he pauses because there’s a No Swearing Policy around honey since it’s not apparent that since he can hear everything he can probably hear jeongguk swearing too. “i just meant that! wow honey got really big :D not long now!! five more weeks until due date!!!”
haseul plops down on the other side of you
“i can’t wait until he’s here,” she says. “little honey is already the size of a pineapple- which is really crazy to think about!!”
it’s nice to spend some time with your friends after like weeks of being with hoseok
and don’t get me wrong you LOVE hoseok with like every single cell inside your body
but it’s nice to have some You time
and You time has always involved flat 18 like they’re drugs and you’re the addict you genuinely can’t be away from them because it starts to hit you hard :-(
haseul is like halfway through telling you something when you Feel it
and it feels Disgusting
you freeze and look down at your stomach
and you watch as honey makes a grand appearance
honey sort of “rolls over” and for a moment everyone is like >:O as honey’s whole body is visible moving across your stomach and it’s literally like there’s an ALIEN inside of you
“OMG OMGOGG that was so beautiful!!! honey, do it again for me, we have to film this for your dada!!” haseul runs to get her phone
meanwhile guk is looking at your stomach like “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT”
“i dont know but it felt weird”
“IT LOOKED LIKE YOUR STOMACH WAS GONNA EXPLODE”
you bet that honey is like giggling inside
honey: 1 jeongguk: 0
39 weeks…
at 39 weeks, with the due date so close by, you start to feel like something is really wrong
you did some research and while contractions were normal, this pain doesn’t really feel like contractions?
“baby please talk to me, i need to know what hurts so i can call the hospital and let them know.”
hoseok has never ever had to take a call in lecture before but this time he had to
he is so frantic that he set the lecture to a task and really quietly answered the phone at the front of the class
nobody is stupid and they’re all aware that hoseok and yourself are having a baby and so they really don’t mind that their lecture is being paused by you crying on the phone
“i-i-i don’t know...my body hurts and i can feel h-honey moving but he feels stuck or something...hoseok s-something is wrong i think i need to go to the hospital right now”
hoseok goes into full blown panicked dad mode
seunghee is sitting at the front of the lecture like, “hose-i mean, professor jung, do you need me to go and get another professor?”
he doesn’t reply, obviously distressed, and so she ends up waking up yoongi from a nap saying that she thinks maybe you’re going into early labour???
yoongi lets the head of the department know that hoseok has go to like right now and he enters the lecture hall like, “hoseok you need to go and see if she’s okay, don’t worry, i’ll try and go through the rest of the slides, just go, everything is fine”
and so hoseok BOLTS out of the lecture hall
forgets to set homework
and runs across campus to the car-park whilst still on the phone
(yoongi lets the class go because he really doesn’t know SHIT about Behaviour and Physiology of Organisms)
when hoseok and yourself end up at the hospital you realise that it’s not labour like seunghee thinks but things are equally as worrying
honey is currently in the breech position
“most babies are supposed to have moved at around 36-37 weeks, so it is alarming that your baby is still in breech, miss l/n,” the nurse is particularly sympathetic as she lets you and hoseok know
you’re totally lost but hoseok is holding your hand so tight and is so so worried
it’s not really the end of the world that honey is feet first but it’s problematic and means that labour is gonna be a bit more difficult
“well what does this mean? is he okay?”
“your baby is fine, it’s his position that is concerning. it will be more difficult to birth the baby because of his position in the womb- what is more concerning is that we were aware of this at your last scan. last time we saw you, miss l/n, your baby was in the footling breech position. of course, it was possible that he might shift during the time away, but he is now in the flexed breech.”
“w-well….what does that mean? is he gonna be okay?”
“when you are in labour, we will have two options; we can either go through with a vaginal breech birth, or a caesarean birth, depending on how willing he is to come out.”
when hoseok squeezes your hand you just. cry a little bit
“i dont wanna hurt him omg i dont want to have a c section either wtf i thought i’d just have to push him out oh no”
hoseok is feeling awful :( because what is he supposed to do :(
“so what should we do?” he asks really timidly
the nurse frowns and cleans up her things, “i would only suggest going home and staying at home until due date. it really is not recommended that we induce labour naturally but you need to be very careful. your son is not willing to turn on his own or with our help, so we will see what the situation is like during your very early stages of labour and we can discuss what method we go through with. are we leaning more towards a vaginal birth, miss l/n?”
you’re all snotty and sniffly but you nod. “please :( i really don’t wanna be cut open i saw what bella had to go through and im not doing that”
hoseok scoffs “twilight is not a reliable pregnancy source, baby.”
“i do believe that bella had no real pregnancy equipment and that her vampire husband had to cut the baby out of her without any sort of painkillers. in a worse case scenario, you do have to go through with a caesarean birth, you will be safe and we will do our best to relieve the pain for you.”
well that’s reassuring
when you two get home after a long day of panicking you’re incredibly alarmed to find that flat 18, hoseok’s close friends and your sister are all at your house like ??????? what are YOU DOING HERE
it’s like the spiderman meme
“what am i doing here??? i LIVE HERE??? what are YOU DOING HERE????”
“seunghee and yoongi said you were in labour???”
“well im not!!??? why would you think i was in labour?”
seunghee gets really defensive “UM hoseok was like on the verge of a mental breakdown at the front of the classroom and so it made sense that you were in labour?? im sorry???? at least we’re all here???”
you end up having to explain to a whole bunch of people that you’re NOT about to birth a pumpkin sized baby yet
but it’s really hard telling them that honey is like the wrong way :(
surprisingly it’s jimin and the married kims who are most worried about it
jimin just thinks that this means honey is like in real bad danger and he’s like omg :( my son from another mum :( wtf is honey okay?
and the married kims are never going to go through birth like this and so they do feel really alarmed
after hoseok reassures them that everything is (hopefully) okay everyone is sitting there like
:) ok what now
“....shall we order chinese food?” guk suggests
and so you all end up piled in the living room in weird positions watching hell’s kitchen whilst eating chinese food because :) might as well :)
40 WEEKS
your due date is like 4 days away
and you’ve been lying awake with really bad contractions for like 2 hours
but you’re so indignant like you refuse to believe you could be going into labour
hoseok is awake too and omg he’s doing his best
like he just doesn’t know how to help besides hugging you
and he does hug you like so closely and his hands running up and down your side and he’s like humming in your ear to try and take your mind off it
“i feel like im gonna fucking SHIT myself wtf”
he cant help but laugh sometimes, “wanna try for the toilet, baby?”
and you’re like “yeah im not really in the mood for like POOPINg in our bed is that okay?”
he’s already up and getting ready to help you walk across the room
lately you’ve been really wobbly whilst walking and in a lot of pain so he does whatever he can to help
he’s at the bottom of the bed and you’ve just stood up
….
huh
“i think i just peed myself?”
“what? why?”
“i didnt mean to!!!”
and you glance down
and wow thats a lot of pee
…
OH
“OH MY FUCKING GOD MY WATER JUST BROKE”
and oh my god hoseok has NEVER MOVED SO FAST IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE
he rushes to get all his things and honestly your stuff has been in the living room for the past week just in case
all you need now is to spend at least fifteen minutes trying to decide which book to take because obviously you’re gonna have loooaaaads of time to read
“Y/N YOU DONT NEED THE BOOK COME ON HONEY IS COMING WE HAVE TO GOOOOO”
what makes hoseok more panicked is the fact that yOU’re panicked
“omg y/n please calm down i’m driving as fast as i can please please please omg”
“I CANT WHY IS HE COMING NOW HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YET”
hoseok crosses like 2 red lights and he’s freaking out double
“I JUST BROKE THE LAW”
“OKAY AND IM HAVING A FUCKING BABY SO KEEP DRIVING MISTER!!!”
you’re an angry birther
as he drives you decide to call jeongguk through the car because #technology
he answers like immediately
“hi babe whats up”
“JEONGGUK IM HAVING A BABY RIGHT NOW PLEASE COME TO THE HOSPITAL”
“what wha-WHAT OH MY FUCKING GOD HE’S COMING??”
“YES PLEASE TELL EVERYBODY- oh fuck hobi it hurtSSSS i wanna go home im not pushing him out yet-”
in the background guk has dropped his phone and is literally screaming around the house
in the back you can hear all of the flat screaming together because HONEY IS COMING
nobody is calm
when yoongi finds out he literally does not know what to do
when you hang up mid sentence he sits staring at the wall like “....omg”
quite literally everybody is a little stressed out when you’re at the hospital
your room is really nice and you’re like “oh wow hoseok you really spoiled me here, too bad i can’t enjoy it because im pushing out a WATERMELON”
obviously because honey is bum first instead of head first things are a little complicated
you’re actually really far in labour already like your mom said it took her like 5 hours to have your sister but turns out it’s been like 32 minutes exactly since your waters broke at home and the nurses seem to think you’re ready now
“NOW??? AS IN RIGHT NOW!!!”
“yep!! let’s bring your son into the world!!”
you discover by simply listening to the nurses that you’re going to be attempting an assisted breech vaginal birth and immediately you get panicked and flustered
you promised haseul and seunghee that they could be there during the birth :(
you had offered it to guk at first but he was like “i am nOT ready to see your vagina i’m sorry” and jimin said he wasn’t sure if he was up for seeing you in a lot of pain during the birth
and yoongi didn’t really want to be there for it because he’s a bit like both guk and jimin
hoseok didn’t mind at all that seunghee and haseul were asked to be there
in fact he was really encouraging of that fact
because both of them were there since the start
like
they watched u pee on those pregnancy tests
so you’re getting really anxious because what if honey comes before they’re here
“miss l/n i need you to breathe for me- please control your breathing! are miss l/n’s scheduled guests here?”
“...they’re in the lobby right now. they’re on their way, miss l/n. keep doing those breathing exercises- yes, there we go!”
hoseok is being nothing but supportive
he’s wiping down your head and holding your hand so tight
“you’re doing amazing, baby, you’re so so brave, i love you”
FINALLY haseul and seunghee bust through the doors
guk, jimin and yoongi are currently like milling around somewhere and your parents and hoseok’s parents have been told the news by guk and yoongi
you’re really fucking scared to have this baby
you did the stupid thing of googling what happens during a breech birth and it made you have a full blown panic attack after reading that honey could die during delivery
now that everything is ready for birth you’re really so scared that honey might not make it
before the midwives prop up your legs on the stirrups you take a good amount of gas an air
an epidural was suggested but hoseok knows that it’s not going to make that much of a difference for honey
and you just want to get him out of you quite honestly Nobody has time for an epidural like just get him out
hoseok feels AWFUL when you’re literally screaming in agony over honey
seunghee and haseul are being so encouraging but all hoseok can do is like stare with tears in his eyes because oh no WHAT HAS HE DONE
the midwives encourage you also with a hands off approach until honey’s bum and bottom half is out
their so vocal and warm like “you’re doing amazing, y/n, just keep pushing!! i can see his feet!!!”
and so you just go for it
you’re mentally praying you don’t like pass out from pushing too hard or worse, shit all over the bed because apparently THAT’S A THING
you’re too busy crying to notice that the midwives look really shocked when honey’s bottom half is out
hoseok gets curious and decides to make sure honey is okay
and he looks and is like “oh WHAT THE FUCK?”
only he doesn’t actually say that
actually he doesn’t say anything
“keep pushing, y/n, h-he’s almost out.”
why are they so hesitant
oh god it hurts so bad
you want to die
you don’t want to have a baby anymore
and then finally
RELEASE
you feel like you can’t breathe but oh my god
the sound of honey SCREAMING is like music to your ears because
HE’S OKAY
but why is everyone acting so WEIRD
you peer up over your legs and take a glance at honey like squirming in the midwives hands
and
oh
Oh WHAT THE FU-
“oh my god his penis fell off!!!!!!!”
honey is a GIRL???????????
HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???????
you don’t really care that it’s not a boy but like. YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A BOY
regardless the midwives do their thing and hoseok is back next to you like :O
“you did so well i’m so proud of you i love you so much- you did it! you did it you’re okay honey is okay!”
“honey is a GIRL?”
haseul is torn between being sad and happy because she wanted it to be a girl she kNEW FROM THE START THAT HONEY WAS DESTINED TO BE A GIRL
it turns out that the sonographer was never 100% on it being a boy and all this time the “penis” was probably just a toe or something or a glitch
because honey is definitely a little girl
a precious beautiful little baby girl
hoseok’s baby girl
he totally cries
no
he WEEPS
there are no dry eyes in the birthing room rn
honey is so gorgeous
she definitely has hoseok’s features like she has his eyes and his nose and his ears :(
the midwives let mommy hold honey for a little while
“skin to skin is very important!!! she’s not a little boy like expected, but she’s a perfectly healthy baby!”
if she wasn’t covered in disgusting gloop you would have kissed her all over
but as a mother that instinct is there
you kiss her forehead and her hands and you’re looking up at hoseok like what the fuck we mADE THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE HUMAN
hoseok is crying as if he just had to endure twenty five minutes of agony and had his vagina ripped open
he’s just so happy right now
thats his kid
HIS
THATS HIS BABY GIRL
HIS TWO BABY GIRLS!!!!!
his emotions have been a big fat rollercoaster like it went from panic when your water broke to major panic when seunghee and haseul hadn’t arrived and then horror when you were like screaming in agony and then shock when he thought that honey’s penis has fallen off during BIRTH because NOBODY EXPECTED HONEY TO PULL THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST OF THE YEAR
now he’s like over the moon he’s so so so so happy
the nurses help get the placenta out but honestly you’re just numbed like you barely register it shooting out
“okay daddy, wanna cut the cord?”
he’s like “no i really dont it looks like a big weird worm”
he still does it anyway
it’s a weirdly fulfilling experience
when it’s time to clean up little honey, you finally break the news to everyone outside
they’re in a mild state of utter confusion
guk is like “well what happened? did it like. grow inside? where did it go?”
and jimin’s like “oh. so it was just a toe or something”
guk is really a little bit disappointed because he wanted a boy so badly but !!! a baby girl !!! a niece!!!!!
(he figures honey will like dinosaurs and naruto all the same as what boy honey would have)
hoseok has made the bed his bed also
he’s snuggled next to you and you have honey on your chest and she’s sleeping so soundly :’)
“have you guys picked a name?”
guk is halfway through eating the fruit salad that haseul made before leaving to get here on time (“you were late because you were making A FRUIT BOWL?” “IM SORRY I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH MAKING IT AND I COULDN’T JUST LEAVE IT”)
you and hoseok hadn’t thought much about it to be honest
although you had talked about it a few weeks earlier
(“i like the name jiyun for a boy” hoseok had said one evening. the two of you had decided that honey should have a korean name like their daddy and you were a-okay with it!! for the sake of your family you were willing to give him or her an english name that you were still undecided on.
you tested out the name. “jiyun. jung jiyun. omg it sounds really cute! what does it mean!!”
“hmm it can mean many things usually, but its usually meaning happiness and posterity, soft sleekness.”
“oh, so it’s one of THOSE names where it has like three meanings.”
“yeah :D”
you laugh. “okay, and how about a girl?”
“how come I’M the one making the decisions???”
“i’m saying yes or no, i’m helping!!”
hoseok huffs and hugs you closer. “uhh, okay. well. me and yoongi had talked about this, and he agreed that yeojin is a cute name. jung yeojin. it means beautiful and precious.”
you...fall in love with that name
“ngl i kinda want honey to be a girl now.”
“omg just for the NAME??? thats cheap”)
you nod at guk sleepily
the room is actually sort of filled with people
because hoseok wrote a book and was on tv he’s Hashtag special
flat 18 are in the room rn because yoongi had to run to pick up namjoon and seokjin and your parents are still like. not ready or here
hoseok’s family couldn’t be here because they were vacationing in europe and their flight got cancelled
“jung yeojin!”
everyone is really satisfied with that name
“are you giving her an english name, too?” seunghee asks, sitting next to the bed with her finger tucked in yeojin’s grasp
you have this twinkle in your eye as you smile down at yeojin and then up at hoseok
“i think the name honey has quite a ring to it, don’t you think?”
hoseok can’t smile any wider holy fuck
“mhm. i couldn’t agree more.”
(seokjin and namjoon arrive later than expected, but seokjin cries as if he was there for the entire thing.)
this. took. so . long. to. upload. but. i . love /. it
+ for visuals and more info please visit here!!
#this fic is a monster teeheehee#btsguild#bts imagines#bts fic#bts#bangtan#jung hoseok#hoseok x reader#hoseok imagines#hoseok fic#hoseok smut#jung hoseok imagines#jung hoseok smut#jung hoseok fic#bullet fic#smut#expecting parents au#dad jung hoseok#dad!hoseok#jeongguk#jimin#haseul#seunghee#namjoon#seokjin#taehyung#loona#oh my girl#LOTS OF TAGS SORREEEE#honey
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Imagine Kai as a dad and his kid is jealous of the roomba because he gives it more attention than the kid.
“Whats wrong baby?” You ask your son as you look down at your son who hide something under his bed as you came in.
“Nothing!”
“What’s that you hid under your bed?”
“Nothing you must be seeing things!” You roll your eyes before grabbing the thing your son hide under his bed. You pull it out and see drawings upon drawings of Kai’s roomba getting smashed with a hammer.
“You too huh baby?” You sigh as you put the pictures to your side.
“Whats so great about that stupid robot?” Your son said as he crossed his arms and puffed out his cheeks.
“He loves it because it cleans.”
“I CAN CLEAN TOO!” Your son stomped his feet on the ground making you giggle slightly.
“You know what! I’m gonna give daddy a taste of his own medicine!”
“Really now? And how do you plan to do that?”
“Ignore him just like he’s been ignoring me!”
“Hmm I’m listening.”
~~~
“Kai calm down...”Chrono clutched his fist in attempt to keep from laughing as he saw his friend freak out.
“They’re ignoring me Hari! Like the hell did I do? My wife and son refuse to acknowledge my existence for the past two days!” Kai said as he rubbed his temples.
“Well maybe its karma?”
“Karma? What the hell for?”
“Don’t bullshit me Kai. You love that Roomba so damn much that you have been giving it more attention then your own family. Be careful someone can swoop in and steal them.”
“Now who would dumb enough to do that?”
“Rappa, Tabe, Setsuno,......me.”
“Who was the last one?
“Rappa?”
“Leave. I gotta figure out why their mad at me.”
“Get rid of the Roomba and maybe you’ll have your answer.”
“The Roomba is staying where it is.”
~~~
“TALK TO ME DAMNIT!” Kai’s voice boomed at you and your son. You guys were sitting at the table and playing go fish.
“Stop ignoring meeee.” You said nothing as you asked your son for 3.
“Go fish!” You son laughed as you go to draw a card but were stopped when a gloved hand grabbed you and your sons wrist dragging you to your bedroom.
He throws you both in the room before tackling you both to the bed. He cages you both so that you resting your heads on his chest.
“Now you can’t ignore me.” Kai said in a gruff voice.
“Hows it feel to get a taste of your own medicine dad!” You child said in a teasing tone as he stood on the bed.
“Huh?”
“You were ignoring me for that stupid robot so i decided to get revenge on you and mommy helped me!”
“That better not be true.”
“Well it is! And since it’s a ‘pet’, i decided to give our little pet a bath.” Your child said with a cocky grin in his face.
“YOU DID WHAT?!”
“I DROWNED THE ROBOT! DEATH TO THE ROBOT!”
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”
“Cause i wanted your attention, but you always payed more attention to that Stupid robot!” Your son said as tears started forming in his eyes.
“Ugh just come here.” Kai said as he grabbed your son and held him close. Your child’s sniffles slowly stopping as he fell asleep on your husbands chest.
“You better not get another one okay?” You said looking him dead in the eye.
“I won’t.” You snuggle into his chest more before slowly falling asleep with your son.
“Yeah im definitely getting another one.”
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PLEASE WRITE A SEQUEL TO THE BUBBA FIC IM CRYING
A/N: I just got out of my classes and saw so many requests for a second part to the Bubba one I wrote last night. I hope you enjoy! Bubba will talk quite a bit in this, please don’t point out that he really doesn’t even say anything because I don’t care. I will make him talk as much as I want to. Warnings: AngstWord Count: 1,494This is Pt.2 - if you haven’t read the first part it’s here.
The room you were in consisted of a metal table and two chairs, one for you and one for the cop sitting across the table- papers and files covering the surface. “Your parents would like to see you, if you’d let them. You’ve been gone for a long time.” He said with a sad expression.
“I already told you that I will not be meeting with anyone. I want to take my son and leave.” You snapped. It took them a while before you’d let them put your boy in a different room with some toys so that they could talk alone with you, but it still made you nervous.
“It’s been two weeks since we found you and brought you here. Your mind should be clear by now.” The officer grunted, drinking coffee out of his Styrofoam cup. “You were kidnapped by the Sawyer family years ago, is that correct?”
“No, that’s not true.” You sighed, gritting your teeth.
“They killed your friends didn’t they? That’s why they weren’t there with you.” He wrote down your responses in messy handwriting.
“Yes, they did.”
“And how is it that only you survived?” He asked, his eyes searching yours to try to find an answer. “Your boy is the offspring of one of them right? Which one?”
“That is none of your concern. And I survived because I was nice to them, genuinely. Not trying to get on their good side just to try and escape later.”
The officer nodded, jotting your words down, “When my team heard you were missing all those years ago, we never stopped looking. Took us a long time, but we found you.”
“How?” You asked, sitting up in your chair and putting your hands on the table.
“We found your friend’s car, abandoned in some old gas station parking lot. We never thought to look for y’all so far away.” He sighed, running a hand through his white hair.
“They all died within the first week.” You said, clearing your throat as you remembered their screams and faces of agony.
“All four of them?” He asked and you nodded. “(Y/N), are any of the Sawyers alive?”
You stared at him for a moment before shrugging, “They all left in winter two years ago, each went their separate ways. I never saw them again.” Part of that was the truth, they really did leave- except Bubba.
“Why didn’t you leave the house then?”
“Because I didn’t know where I was and I wasn’t going to risk getting lost when I have a son to take car of and protect. The house is nice, it’s our home.”
“Did you love the man who gave you the child?” He asked, looking at you with sincere eyes. You bit your tongue, knowing where this was going.
“This wasn’t a case of Stockholm syndrome, so don’t you dare think it was!” You hissed, banging your hands on the table. “I fell in love with him because he protected me from the rest of his family- he cared about me!” You had to make sure you used past-tense incase the officer caught on.
“Then why did he leave?” He asked, finishing his cup of coffee.
“He didn’t. He died last fall, in his sleep.” You bit your lip, hating having to think about him being dead.
The man went quiet and nodded. “Did you help them kill anyone while you stayed there?”
“NO.” Lies, all of this was a lie to get back to where you needed to be. “I’ve answered all your damn questions. I’m leaving.” You growled, getting up and going to the door.
“Your parents are with your boy.” The cop said, getting up and walking out behind you as you stomped off to where your son was.
A pair of wrinkly people looked at you and smiled, tears filling their eyes. “Honey we missed you so much!”
“Don’t worry we’ll make sure your safe back at home.” The woman said. These were your parents, but you didn’t want them here, you didn’t want to stay with them. Their faces were aggravating to look at and something about what your mother said tipped you off.
“Me? What about (sons name)?” He stood up and hugged your legs.
Their faces turned to disgust and you felt your temperament grow. “You don’t want to keep something that they forced you to have.”
“Excuse me?” You growled, noticing the cop gently touch your shoulder. “He didn’t force me to do anything! We loved each other.”
“You can’t be serious, (Y/N). They were psychopaths.” Your father argued.
Shaking your head, you grabbed your son by the arms and picked him up, putting him on your side. “You two haven’t changed at all. If they were crazy, then I might just be as well.” You turned to the officer, “I need to borrow a map and a car. Now.”
You held back tears of frustration until you sat in the small maroon car they gave you, saying it had enough gas to get you back home. “Momma, are we going home now?” Your son asked from the back seat and you nodded, starting the car and beginning your two hour drive.
You almost got lost a few times but in the end, you found yourself pulling up on the side of the dirt road, towards an all-to-familiar house. You shook your son awake and he sat up, wiping the drool off his chin. “We’re home.” You smiled, getting gout of the car and making sure he did as well, turning to look at the house.
The basket and smashed food wasn’t on the ground anymore and the front porch light was on, illuminating a figure who dropped the hammer he was holding and started to run towards you. Your heart ached with happiness and you couldn’t fight back tears that fell down your face. “Daddy!” Your son shouted, pulling on your arm to walk faster over to him.
You could hear Bubba’s cries of joy from behind his mask, his crying was obvious too when your son tackled him and knocked the mask off his head. Your husband held your son tight against him, kissing the top of his head. “Did you protect your momma?” He mumbled, looking over him to make sure he was alright.
“Yes sir. We had to lie to the police so we could leave.” (Sons name) said, looking back at you and letting go of his dad.
“You go inside and find something to eat. Don’t make a mess though.” You told him and he nodded, running into the house. As you were trying to wipe your tears away, Bubba wrapped his arms around you.
“I was scared.” He sniffed, pulling back from the hug a bit to look at you.
“I was too, I thought they weren’t going to let me go. They knew everything, my parents even showed up.” You sighed, taking a deep breath. Bubba ran his hands along your back and waist, moving one of them up to cup your cheek. “Thank you for not coming and looking for us. They would’ve killed you and after being away from you these past weeks I felt like you were already gone.”
“Just listening to my wife’s orders.” Bubba smiled, leaning down and kissing you gently. “Don’t ever leave me that long again.”
“I won’t. I’m never gonna leave you, Bubba. I love you too much to do that.” You smiled, letting him rest his forehead against yours.
“I love you too.” He whispered, kissing you again before walking with you back to the house.
*
Later that night, after you tucked your son into bed, you went to your shared bedroom where Bubba was already at, and lied next to him on the old bed. “You didn’t sleep at all did you?” You asked, staring up at him as he turned off the lamp, the moon the only source of light in the room.
“No.” He said, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him.
“You didn’t eat either?” You sighed, pulling the covers over the two of you.
“No.” He replied, “I waited.” You tilted your head to look him in the eyes.
“You can’t do that, Bubba. If I get taken away from you like that, you need to take care of yourself until I come back.” He just stared at you as you spoke, his mind thinking about how beautiful you looked under the moonlight.
One of his hands came up to touch your face and you blushed. “Did you listen to me?” You frowned. His answer was a chaste kiss on your lips as his hand went back to its spot, gently rubbing your back.
“Goodnight, (Y/N).” He said, watching you close your eyes. For the first night in two weeks you both got the good nights sleep you needed; in each other’s embrace, safe from the harm of the outside world.
#bubba sawyer#leatherface#leatherface x reader#horror x reader#slasher imagines#[✉️].request#🍰.fluff
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