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youngpettyqueen · 10 months

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NO GFA ANON I HOPE UR AWAKE CAUSE I FINALLY FINISHED. THE SICKFIC

I no longer have the message in my inbox RIP but here it is at last your requested Hunnihawk sickfic I sincerely hope you enjoy this and im so sorry it took me so long to do

“There,” Hawkeye sits back on the cot, satisfied with the job he’s done of tucking BJ in, “You comfy?”

“No,” BJ replies, miserable and unhelpful, “But thanks.”

Hawkeye gives his shoulder a sympathetic pat. “Believe me, I’d rather keep you in a comfy post-OP bed,” He tells him, letting his hand linger on his shoulder, “But we’re almost full in there, and Radar said we’re expecting more to come in tomorrow, so you’ll have to make do with the roaches and rats in here.”

BJ leans back against his pillows, settling a bit more into his cot. “How dare they come and take our beds,” He mutters, “Don’t they know I’m dying?” He asks, with a playfulness to his voice that makes it clear he’s not being serious.

“How could they?” Hawkeye asks in return, matching BJ’s playful tone, “You’re such a strong, silent type that nobody would ever know you’re sick.” This is, of course, a bold-faced lie. BJ’s been down with this fever for a few days, and he’s been, to put it kindly, a nightmare. Thought with affection. Kind of.

Doctors always make the worst patients. This is law, a truth universally known and acknowledged. Hawkeye knows he’s a pain in the ass to deal with as a patient, he pities whoever has to deal with him whenever he’s sick or injured enough to need any sort of care. He’s a goddamn nightmare.

BJ still manages to be on a whole different level, though.

He starts off stubborn. Insisting on carrying on, dodging all attempts to doctor him, that sort of thing. And then, when it catches up to him enough and gets his ass put in bed, he gets sneaky. So far someone- usually Hawkeyes- has had to go and hunt him down and put him back to bed five different times.

It’s only been two days.

“You sure you don’t need any help?” BJ asks quietly. He brings a hand up, loops it around Hawkeye’s wrist.

“Not from you,” Hawkeye replies. He reaches over with his other hand, places it against BJ’s forehead to check his temperature, “Not until this fever of yours decides to break. You’re so hot I could fry an egg on your forehead right now.” He remarks.

BJ musters another weak grin. “You’re not so bad yourself.” He rasps. It’s a line that would be much more effective if he didn’t sound like he ate a dirt road for breakfast.

Hawkeye rolls his eyes. “Real cute,” He deadpans, taking his hand back and folding it in his lap, “I should get back to OR,” He continues with a sigh, “Make sure everything’s ready for tomorrow.” He’s dreading tomorrow. He’s already exhausted, he’s coming off a double shift and he’s looking at another long day tomorrow once the next batch of wounded comes in. That’d be enough on its own, but without BJ…

“Do you have to?” BJ asks, with a look that borders on a pout.

He doesn’t have to, is the thing. He doesn’t even want to. “I should.” He replies.

“But do you have to?” BJ asks again.

Hawkeye raises a brow at him. “Where are you going with this, Beej?”

BJ tugs on his wrist. “C’mere.” He says.

Ah. “No,” Hawkeye replies, trying to take his hand back. BJ tightens his grip, “No, you’re a one-man sauna and I want no part of it,” He tugs on his hand a bit more insistently, to no avail. Damn BJ’s stupid strength, “BJ.”

“Hawkeye.” Stupid fucking smirk on his face.

“Let-“ He doesn’t get to finish that sentence. BJ grabs his arm with his other hand, and yanks. Hawkeye yelps, tumbling over directly on top of BJ, who wraps both arms around him and holds fast.

“Hi.” BJ grins, probably thinking he’s really cute.

Hawkeye scowls up at him. “Release me, villain.”

“No.” BJ’s grin doesn’t so much as falter.

“If you get me sick, I’m killing you,” Hawkeye informs him, “I mean it. I’m killing you with my own two hands. I’m a surgeon, I know how to do that in creative ways.”

“Enlighten me.” BJ invites, making no move to let him go.

“I’ll start by putting swapping your kidneys,” Hawkeye threatens, “And then I’m gonna put your stomach where your heart oughta be. And then I’ll get really creative.”

BJ chuckles, low and warm. “Will you, now.”

“I have not yet begun to threaten,” Hawkeye proclaims, “Just wait till I get my hands on your spine.”

“I’m terrified,” BJ says, not looking nor sounding terrified in the slightest, “Quaking in my boots.”

If looks could kill, Hawkeye would currently be killing BJ with his glare. “I hate you.” He tells him, with no real heat at all.

“Love you, too, sweetheart.” BJ replies, knowing him all too well.

Hawkeye sighs. Long and loud. This is really comfortable, is the thing. BJ is a bit too warm for his liking, but he can suck it up. He’s exhausted. He isn’t actually required to be in OR right now. Getting as much rest as possible before tomorrow is ideal, honestly. He’s got no actual good reason to fight back against this.

“You’re a goddamn pain in my ass.” He tells BJ anyways, the closest he’ll get to admitting defeat.

“I know.” BJ says, looking way too pleased about it.

#mash #fic bitching #this will be up on ao3 at some point #I might do a couple more requests before I put it up so that I can put them up in a batch #we'll see #anyways anon I hope you enjoy #<3

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chronicals-of-top-surgery · 2 years

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25 days post OP 6/20/22

Jeez, five days have passed already?? Time is FLYING by.

Well, a day or two ago I took a nice hot shower and because I wasn't super concerned about water getting into places it shouldn't (which was a concern when my nipples weren't fully attached yet) I was able to get everything cleaned. Sadly, I need to exfoliate because just rubbing my shoulders made a ton of gross, dead skin fall off.

Speaking of gross dead stuff falling off, the hot steam got the scabs really loose. My right nipple has almost no scabbing now and my left lost a TON. It's seemingly very healthy and pink and perfect under there. The top is weirdly not super smoothed down to the skin or flush, it's raised around the top edge but I think it'll smooth itself out and be fine.

Though, while I was gently lifting away the scab bits that were flaking and falling off anyways, one bit of scab gave a weird amount of resistance. Turns out, there's a fuckin SUTURE hiding under the scab!! Like a whole stitch, hiding, totally missed by the doctor 2 weeks later. I sent him a text and showed some pics and he said I'm healing up perfectly, I look amazing, and that the suture will dissolve and fall away on its own so just don't bother it and it'll be fine.

I only have 6 more days of wearing my chest wrap too. Ive been taking breaks for a few hours at a time. Just letting everything breathe and relax a little, especially when the wrap is just not cooperating and is rolling up and sitting on my scars weird which hurts. My sides do hurt but I think it's from the wrap and laying on my sides. I've been able to sleep on my sides a little but I keep just rolling back over to sleep on my back again.

Everything is super sensitive. Especially in the center of my chest between the two scars and like in between where my breasts used to be, it's just really tender to touch. Like touching a super raw sunburn, or (and maybe only my fellow autistic folks will really get this one) when someone pets or rubs you in the same spot over and over for too long it starts to hurt? Yeah that sensation. Really uncomfortable. It feels better with the wrap on it and nothing brushing up against it but my whole chest is just sensitive in a bad way

For some reason, right below my nipple and a little to the outside, it's hard as rock. Idk what that's about bc the rest of my chest is more squishy. I'm guessing it's muscle?? Or part of the suturing? Idk, it doesn't hurt, just a little strange note. It's on both sides, mostly the left, so I'm assuming it's normal.

I still am trying to not really stretch, I still haven't done any heavy lifting, pushing, or pulling. I plan to keep it that way for another month, hell, until I'm moving out for college (3 months total healing). I want to be CERTAIN I don't cause any damage and I want my scars to heal as pristinely as possible, and right now I have the luxury to do so. Besides, as of right now, if I stretch a bit too far or push a bit too hard, it does hurt. I haven't had anything besides a twinge of achey pain or a quick pinch but id rather listen to those little hints of pain telling me to stop while I'm ahead and not push it further.

Ive got my online college orientation tomorrow so I have that to look forward to. I also need to start talking to my boss about when I'll be returning. But I can worry about that tomorrow. I still have 10 days before my leave ends, I'm not on the very last second of planning. It's still flexible and calm and I'm not gonna freak myself out over a minimum wage job. The only reason I haven't quit is because I want to transfer to a store in the college town and take advantage of tuition reimbursement.

So yeah! It's going good, I'm taking it easy still, healing is nice, I'm no longer stressed about my nipple because it turns out it's scab was just a LOT thicker than my right one, and everything is healing good! Im outside of the scary zone now, no more fear that a nipple will fall off or that something will get infected. Now it's just a gentle waiting game for the sutures inside to heal and dissolve away and for my scars to settle and start permanently healing. It won't be completely healed for like 3 years (the deep scar on my hand took about that long to go from reddish pink to my skin tone) but I just need to make it to the period where I'm safe to work out again which I think is like 3 ish months? I'm fine with that honestly. I'm not going to start working out again until I have the campus gym accessible to me.

I'll keep updating this periodically! Im really fond of this blog and all like 3 people who follow it, and it's a great archive for myself and my memories. Somehow being in Miami simultaneously feels like yesterday and a year ago. I miss my companion, I miss how much he doted on me and cared for me. Of course my mom dotes on me too but that's a good mom for ya, I love and appreciate it but I still yearn for him too. Little bit of gay yearning never hurt anyone yeah? Yeah. I'll keep updating here as I go along and heal! Until the next post!

#ftm #lgbt #top surgery #top surgery recovery #trans #transgender #transmasc

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samingtonwilson · 4 years

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Mac and Cheese

Summary: Bucky takes the last box of frozen mac and cheese, takes your phone, and makes you fall in love with him. The audacity of that man.

Prompt: “This has been a very bad week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food at the supermarket”

Pairing: bucky x reader

a/n: i wrote this and was fully done formatting it and everything, like, 6 months ago. i didn’t post it because it’s approx. 82% nonsense but i figured why not post it now when it’s still 82% nonsense but im struggling to finish everything else. so taal, long time vegan, writes a story about mac and cheese and, listen, idk what this fic is either. can i write a fic without adding sam to it? no.

Mac and cheese. That’s all you want. Disgusting, frozen, usually-quite-mushy-if-not-microwaved-correctly mac and fucking cheese.

The kind with the layer of cheese on top. The kind with that real elbow pasta, not rotini or penne or seashell pasta— real macaroni. The kind you try to only eat one serving size of before you eat everything in the package. The kind you always gravitate to when your eyes are stained red, swollen, and too proud to be anything other than dry.

You take the subway. You switch lines. You endure the smell of the F train during rush hour when you aren’t sure where your thigh ends and the thigh of the woman sitting beside you begins. All for that one Trader Joe’s, out of many, in Brooklyn the hipsters abandon before six because the coffee shop next door closes at five.

Your feet ache in your boots and you’re pretty sure a rock has somehow lodged itself between your toes, it’s starting to rain and you have no umbrella, you don’t think your throat has ever felt so parched.

But you tuck your phone into your back pocket and march into that store with the hideous overhead lighting that makes your skin look like it hasn’t seen a bottle of toner in days like you’re Hades, the box of mac and cheese is Persephone, and Trader Joe’s is Mount Olympus.

You aren’t planning on smiling at anyone in greeting. You aren’t planning on making eye contact with anyone. You aren’t even planning on waiting politely behind whoever is inevitably idly standing in front of the pasta section of the frozen aisle— you’re going to say, “Excuse me.” Like the badass, New Yorker, on-the-verge-of-tears bitch you are and you’re going to toss that mac and cheese into your basket like you’re Steph Curry at the NBA Finals.

Lines are long when you walk in, cashiers bored-looking and tired. The produce section is a jungle of stay at home fathers and people who make their own pressed juice, the salad display a mess of college students trying to eat healthy.

Your eyes accidentally meet those of a toddler who is slyly plucking a grape from a bag he had no intention of spending his allowance on and you smile.

You hold your basket like a designer handbag and dilly-dally only for a moment to pick up some yogurt for breakfast tomorrow.

And some inauthentic babka because there’s no way in hell you’re going to endure Zabar’s after this.

And a package of olive oil popcorn, a bottle of three dollar chardonnay, and string cheese.

But that’s it. Self-control.

You feel the chill of the frozen aisle before you step into it. You feel the magnetic pull of that box with only one step in its direction. You stop for just a second to grab the mini mango and cream pops.

You almost roll your eyes to yourself when you see that someone is indeed standing right in front of the frozen selection of pasta. He’s staring at two boxes— a red one in his gloved left hand and the one in his right hand green.

As you grow closer you notice behind his curtain of dark hair that his eyebrows are knit together and he’s frowning at a decision he must be forcing himself to make.

Sophie’s Choice, but involving mediocre excuses for Italian food and no Nazis— hopefully. Because who really knows these days?

He wears a forest green hoodie under a black leather jacket, black jeans tight around thick thighs. Boots, too. You think you might swoon.

And you wait behind him. You tap your foot, shift your weight, and chew on your bottom lip. You don’t say anything.

He looks over his shoulder when you curse under your breath and set the heavy basket at your feet. He’s apologetic— and handsome— by the looks of it, blue eyes slightly widened and lips downturned. “Shit,” he says as he takes a few steps to the right. “I’m sorry.”

You shrug. You kick your basket with the toe of your boot until it lightly smacks against the bottom of the freezer. “No problem. It’s a big decision.”

His eyes lift from the boxes and he smiles. “Biggest one I’ve gotten to make in a while.”

Setting your hands atop the cold metal railing, you stare down into the freezer. You see farfalle with roasted tomatoes, rigatoni with pesto, ricotta and spinach ravioli, roasted vegetable lasagna, cauliflower gnocchi, chicken parm, and… an empty space.

You tilt your head.

You lean away and crouch to read the description cards, looking for the bubble letters to tell you where on Earth your saving grace is. When you spot the card, you stand again. The indicated space is empty, your heart is empty, your will to live is—

A box of organic pesto tortellini is tossed back into the freezer and you look up. Your eyes might lose their prideful dryness at any moment, even in public next to that handsome stranger with the nice jacket and,

the box of mac and cheese.

You gasp audibly and leap backwards. You point at the box in his left hand.

With an expression of panic, he holds his hands— and the box— up in innocence. “It’s okay. I’m not—”

“What the fuck is that?” you shout to gain the attention of customers you don’t even perceive, waggling your finger at the box. Your wide-eyed stare, and bared teeth, and messy hair must be terrifying. You hope they are.

He looks down at his hand. An eyebrow lifts. And, confusedly, he asks, “The box?”

“Yes, the fucking box!”

“It’s mac and—” he meets your gaze again. You’re wearing your anger like armor. But you aren’t scared. Bucky thinks he might never have felt such relief at a woman’s anger. “It’s mac and cheese.”

You shake your head. Wildly. Your neck hurts. “It’s the last box of mac and cheese!”

He glances at the box, then back at you. He jabs his thumb over his shoulder. “They might have some in the back—”

You shake your head again. A hint of devastation cracks your voice as you say, “It’s Monday night. Trader Joe’s restocks Tuesday night. This is usually all they have left.”

“I—” He pauses. “Is this shit really that good—”

“No, it’s not but that’s not the point!” you’re shouting again. And crying. Oh, God, you’re crying. In public. “The point is my building is going co-op!”

He tilts his head. “Your building is—”

“And I have to buy my apartment if I want to keep it! And they don’t give raises at my job to women unless they’re willing to suck something I won’t say in front of that kid right there,” you nod toward a little girl in a pink raincoat with her pin straight black hair in pigtails who stares at you in bewilderment. You sniffle. “So I quit. And I’m proud of myself for it. Because I have integrity, and I have self-respect, and I have no gag reflex, so the rejection should kill my boss dead.”

He cracks a small smile when you let out a short, watery, pathetic laugh. Easily, he holds the box out to you. “I hope your boss is dead, too.”

You laugh again and don’t hesitate before taking the box. You wipe your cheeks with your sleeve. “Thank you. You’re nice.”

“Not a popular opinion, but one I’ll certainly take.” He’s smiling and it’s warm. “Sorry— about all that.”

“You’re apologizing to me? I just screamed at you in the Trader Joe’s freezer aisle over mac and cheese.”

He shakes his head and picks up his own basket when you grab yours. “Your building’s going co-op and your boss deserves to burn in hell. You should get all the mac and cheese you want.”

You reach into the freezer for that green box of tortellini he’d thrown in, tossing it into his basket with a smile. Steph Curry at the NBA Finals. “Still. I’m sorry for yelling and I hope the tortellini doesn’t suck too bad.”

“It’s frozen pasta. My expectations are low.”

You hum a laugh and walk past him to the crowded lines at the registers. “As they should be.”

It’s when you’re lost in the sea of customers and Bucky is deciding between frozen palak paneer and frozen lamb vindaloo with basmati rice that he feels a tug at the hem of his jacket.

He looks away from the green and orange boxes, lowering his gaze to meet curious almond-shaped eyes beneath blunt black bangs. He smiles and she returns it. “Yes?”

She reveals her right hand, which she had hidden behind her pink raincoat, and holds a phone up to Bucky as far as her arm will let her.

“Is that your phone?”

She shakes her head and giggles. Loud, happy, and squeaky. “Yelling lady dropped her phone.”

Bucky’s eyebrows knit together until a woman, much closer to his height, steps behind the little girl. She takes the phone the girl holds out and offers it to Bucky when he straightens his posture. Her smile looks like the little girl’s. “We figured you would have a good chance at getting it back to her.”

He takes the phone and nods his thanks. Pressing the power button reveals a picture of you and a dog, a large, fluffy dog with its pink tongue hanging low. You’re smiling brightly and, oddly, it seems like the dog is, too.

—

“So you just took her phone? Didn’t even ask an employee to keep it there in case she came back for it?”

Bucky, watching the tray of pasta rotate in the microwave, scowls. “I would’ve if I’d known that was an option. And stop eating my fuckin’ chips.”

Sam tosses back another handful of kettle-cooked barbecue potato chips in defiance so the obnoxious crunching echoes through the kitchen. He smiles sarcastically when Bucky snatches the bag and rolls it up. Half is already gone. “You come up with how you’re gonna get it back to her?”

“Thinkin’ about asking Pepper to post a picture of it like it’s a missing child to that ‘Tweeter’ nonsense,” Bucky replies dryly. He’s glaring at Sam as he leans his hip against the counter. “You and I both know I haven’t come up with shit.”

Sam snorts and is smiling in amusement, deep brown eyes alight. Bucky hates the sight. “Tweeter. You’re so fuckin’ old.”

It’s been hours since Bucky took the phone from who he learned is little Vivienne and her mother, and he is no closer to getting it back to you.

He’d tried looking for you at the store but there were too many people for a Trader Joe’s that Yelp claimed was the least busy in New York for that to yield results. So he returned to the Tower. He thought about asking Tony to look into the doohickey but figured an invasion of privacy should be the last resort.

He pulls the tray from the microwave with nimble vibranium fingers and sniffs the pasta before setting it down on the counter. He removes a bowl from one of the cabinets and dumps the steaming pasta in it, a sprinkle of freshly grated parmesan from a tub he’d bought— also at Trader Joe’s— a finishing touch.

“She’s cute,” Sam says when the screen lights up with an incoming text notification.

Bucky spins his fork between his fingers as he walks around the counter to sit on the barstool beside Sam’s. He glances at the phone as well. “Very cute,” he agrees. “She had a shitty day. Something about her apartment goin’ co-op. Whatever the hell that means.”

Sam frowns. “Means she’s gotta buy the place. And with New York real estate prices right now,” he shakes his head with a sigh. “She better have a well-paying job.”

“Quit that today, too.” Bucky takes a bite of the pasta and hisses as it burns his tongue. “Boss is a creep that asked for some action in exchange for a raise.”

“Jesus. Poor girl.”

The tortellini isn’t great. It’s a little bland, a bit too dry, and there isn’t enough filling— but it’s better than Bucky had expected. He takes another bite. “Yeah. And I took the last box of mac and cheese. Which is what she went to the store for.”

“I’m surprised your head wasn’t chopped off.”

Bucky smiles. “She yelled— a lot. Was crying, too, ‘til she said something and made herself laugh.”

Sam then begins teasing Bucky juvenilely for having a crush until both men are laughing and shoving one another to see who falls off their stool first, Sam only relenting when Bucky hands the potato chips to him again as a peace offering.

The bowl is in the sink and the chips are down to just crumbs when a loud ringtone— an instrumental version of an R&B song Bucky recognizes from Sam’s many plays of the original— shocks the two of them.

It’s from an unknown number and Bucky is unsure if he should pick up until Sam swipes answer and puts the call on speakerphone. “Hello?”

A sigh. Bucky doesn’t know if it’s one of relief or frustration. “I’m hoping whoever this is found my phone and didn’t steal it.”

Sam shoves Bucky’s shoulder with a toothy grin and Bucky rolls his eyes. “The little girl you almost traumatized in the freezer aisle found it and gave it to me.”

Another sigh— the relief in this one is obvious— and you’re laughing. “It’s you— tortellini dude. Must’ve fallen when I crouched down.”

“Seems like it, yeah.”

“So are you gonna ask for my address or do I have to schlep over to Avengers Tower?”

Bucky and Sam exchange a look. “Avengers Tower?”

“You weren’t exactly in disguise— I realized who you are the minute I left the store. Would’ve recognized you right away but I was in my own head and you aren’t my favorite Avenger.”

Bucky smiles. “Yeah? And who is?”

“Falcon.”

Immediately, the phone is taken from Bucky’s hand. “Hi, baby, you’ve got Falcon.”

A gasp, a pause, then you laugh. Audibly stunned laughter. “You guys actually hang out with each other? That’s cute.”

Before Sam can reply, Bucky flicks his forehead— in reply to which Sam elbows Bucky’s ribs— and takes the phone back. “I can bring your phone to you whenever you’re free.”

“Awesome. I’m unemployed now so any time tomorrow is fine.”

You tell him your address before hanging up and he wishes you a good night. Your laughter is the last thing he hears before three beeps signify the end of the call.

—

Bucky takes the subway. He switches lines to the F train. He tries not to mind the overpowering smell of stale B.O. and deli meat leftover from rush hour, the skittering steps of a rat across the floor in the adjacent empty car. He ignores those who stare at him intensely enough to burn the fabric right off his skin. All for that one apartment in SoHo.

He thinks the gash below his ribs might still be leaking as the warm, moist subway station air blows past him. He can feel that cluster of bruises above his knee— the one from the pipe the hostile operative had ripped off the rickety walls of a nearly destroyed Hydra base— every time he takes a step, more so as he climbs the stairs.

He knows he must be quite a sight with combat boots and tac pants worn and dusty, a simple bomber jacket thrown over a ripped, sliced, stained compression tank. His mind is blank, his eyes shadowy, the ghost of something terrible lurking behind blue and grey.

Posture stiff and muscles cold, steps crisp despite the ache, he follows the familiar path and manages to form the thought of turning around. Not bringing this all to a threshold— or, more accurately, a windowsill— he’s only crossed three or four times. He’s too weak, though.

It takes one rap of his knuckles against the third-story window for a lamp to flicker on, gauzy drapes pushed aside. You smile as he lifts the window open, stepping aside as he enters the apartment with careful grace. He feels less guilty when he sees that your bed is still made and your hair isn’t the tangled mess it usually is when he bursts in at a late hour.

“I have a door.”

“Okay, show-off.”

It’s when he steps into the light of the standing lamp in the room’s corner that your quiet laughter gives way to a soft gasp.

He doesn’t like the widening of your eyes or the way you gently lift the right side of his jacket, fingers light against the torn fabric. But you laugh again, and it shakes in nervousness. “You know I’m not a doctor, right? Or a nurse? Or even a pharmacist with high self-efficacy?”

He nods and, despite himself, there’s a smile pulling at a corner of his lips. His eyes brighten a little. “It’ll heal itself.”

“Confidence. I like that in a burglar.”

Before he can take a step further into your bedroom, you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth and point at his feet. “Boots.”

He kicks them off with a sigh and a groan when the shifting of his knee sends a tremor up his leg. His jacket is tossed aside as well, and he catches the black t-shirt you throw to him. You’d washed it, folded it, and put it in your closet.

Just a little more brightness. “You owe me mac and cheese.”

“Oh, I owe you mac and cheese? We’re really holding onto shit from four months ago?”

He nods again and pulls his tank off, withholding a wince.

Eyebrow raised, you cross your arms over your chest. You’re giving him a narrow look but, because you’re clearly struggling against a smile, it’s one of his favorites of the expressions you’ve ever offered him.

You give him a towel next— pastel blue. “Shower and then we’ll see about me owing you something.”

He wants to say thank you, do more than smile.

But he knows if he so much as opens his mouth while you’re looking at him the way you are, he’ll tell you he’s fallen in love with you over the last four months, that maybe he’s been in love since you screamed at him in the freezer section of Trade Joe’s.

He’ll go to say thank you, but the words of a Byron poem he’d learned to impress a girl in his English class more than eighty years ago will come pouring out or he’ll simply kiss you like he wishes he could on the nights he can’t sleep or during the missions he can just barely endure.

He’ll go to say thank you, and then tell you with no clarity whatsoever that you’re what he finds comfort in when he’s had a hard day. That the disgusting, mushy, nothing-compared-to-fresh mac and cheese is just an excuse.

But he just smiles. And nods. And takes a shower.

His hair is still wet as he stands across from you at the kitchen counter. There’s a bowl of steaming pasta between you, a spoon in his hand and a fork in yours. “You’re dripping onto the counter.”

With a cocking of his eyebrow, he shakes his head and you sputter a laugh, shoving his shoulder. “Bucky!”

He laughs then, fully and happily, as he reaches over to wipe the drops from your cheeks and forehead. You only smile back, the gleaming of your eyes making him feel warm all over.

“This shit’s terrible, by the way,” he says after a minute of staring.

You shrug a shoulder. “Told you.”

“And you fought me for it. Publicly.”

You shrug again and laugh. You lean your elbows atop the counter to match his relaxed posture, dragging a noodle through a particularly large puddle of melted cheese.

Looking up, your nose nearly bumps Bucky’s and you hope he doesn’t hear your breath stall. You try to smile. “Makes me feel better when I need to fill that hole in my heart.”

“With cholesterol?” he jokes.

“Yes. It’s excellent. It’s like spackle.” As he laughs and you roll your eyes, you push off the counter to stand straight. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Yeah?”

You hum. “I’m seeing an apartment I want tomorrow and need the rent lowered. And you’re the Winter Soldier.”

He considers that for a moment and you burst into laughter just as his eyes narrow into a fond glare. “You want me to scare them into lowering the rent?”

“Don’t think of it as you scaring them,” you begin, rounding the counter to stand next to him, hip leant against the marble, “think of it as you being an amazing friend and helping me.” A moment later you add, “By scaring them.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. He glances at the bowl to avoid the risk of staring at you for too long. “Fine.”

You grin. “You really take no convincing.”

A snort and he meets your gaze. “Only when it comes to you. I’m afraid you’ll start crying again.”

“So I could ask you for anything and you’d probably say yes?”

He shrugs a bit, then nods. Who is he kidding? You could ask for his right arm and he’d give it to you.

“Okay. Go on a date with me then.”

There’s a pause— in the conversation, in his chest. “A what?”

“A date. It’s like dinner, or coffee, or a movie, or something.” You grin when he takes half a step in your direction and his hands grip onto the counter at either side of you. “It’s this thing people do when they like each other.”

Something much more than like is in the sparkling of your eyes and the tilt of your head. Something that might match exactly what’s in his eyes whenever he’s around you. His insides burn at the thought.

“I know what a date is.”

“They had those back in your day?”

He nods and leans forward. “Not from the Stone Ages.”

Your lips brush lightly against his, hand set on his chest to feel the rapid beating beneath. You smile and he thinks he might melt. “Could’ve fooled me with that hair.”

Laughing, he presses his lips to yours a little harder.

—

Apartment littered with unpacked boxes, misplaced books, and askew furniture, you sit on top of the counter where Bucky works. He’s twirling a knife through his metal fingers, arranging sprigs of chives on the cutting board with the flesh ones.

He smiles when he catches you staring at the pan cooling on the stove. “S’not done yet.”

You sigh. Loudly, heavily. “You took it out of the oven. That means it’s done.”

“It needs to cool for a few minutes or you’ll burn off your taste buds. You want to burn off your taste buds?”

“You want to burn off your taste buds?” you repeat in a high-pitched, taunting voice. You’re scowling and, somehow, look to be on the verge of snatching the knife from him to stab it through his chest. “Maybe I do.”

Less than a minute later, you groan and add, “I don’t care how good you are in bed. I’m about ten seconds from dumping you.”

Swiftly, he chops the chives and turns around to sprinkle a bit into the baking dish. “You know, most people would say thank you.”

“Most people don’t have to wait an hour while their boyfriend attempts to make mac and cheese when there’s a perfectly good box in the freezer that would take four minutes.”

“It’s worth it.”

In all honesty, he doesn’t know if it’s worth it.

He’d asked Sam for a recipe and did his best to follow it despite the autocorrect which had changed “gruyere” to “grape year.” But he trusts it since Sam generally knows what he’s doing in the kitchen. Unlike Steve who had continuously attempted to chime in with useless suggestions such as, “Maybe don’t add the paprika.”

“Just trust me,” he urges as if replying to the growling of your stomach which has interrupted his search for the plates he could’ve sworn he’d unpacked. He’s crouched and searching the lower cabinets as he adds, “You’ll fall in love with me after you try it.”

“Who says I haven’t already?”

He stops searching.

He peeks his head above the edge of the counter and, his eyes wide, he sees you pulling two plates from a box placed on the small nook table. Your smile is small and a bit sheepish— the latter something he’d never seen from you.

“You never took them out,” you tell him, the clatter of ceramic on the wooden surface loud when you set the plates down. As you approach and he stands to his full height, you sigh and roll your eyes at the look he gives you. “Yes, I love you. It can’t be that shocking.”

“It isn’t.”

“Someone should tell your face that.”

Chuckling over the heavy thumps in his chest, he leans forward to kiss you but pauses just to say, “I love you, too, by the way.”

When an empty dish sits between the two of you, Bucky’s stomach warm and full of over three-quarters of it, you stand from the table and walk to the freezer.

Shooting a smile over your shoulder, you grab the familiar red box and toss it into the stainless steel trash can. Steph Curry at the NBA Finals. “I’m never eating that shit again.”

#this reader is a human disaster #dkjfgdkjgj #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff

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emilekyren · 2 years

Text

I posted 63 times in 2021

55 posts created (87%)

8 posts reblogged (13%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 97 tags in 2021

#anime - 22 posts

#gaming - 17 posts

#hu tao my beloved - 13 posts

#genshin headcanons - 13 posts

#genshin impact - 9 posts

#jujutsu kaisen - 5 posts

#genshin smut - 5 posts

#childe - 5 posts

#death note - 4 posts

#i love childe? - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 98 characters

#bro i’m so sorry my page is a mess but i will fix it eventually i’m just going through a crisis rn

My Top Posts in 2021

i’m having a problem where i look on twitter for fanart and then see smut on my feed in front of people during school and i turn into the color of a tomato

51 notes • Posted 2021-10-14 19:09:37 GMT

kaeya headcanon?

imagine kaeya sitting next to you, and he slid his hands onto your thigh continuing up until he reached your clit and started rubbing it, proceeding to finger you. you couldn’t make any noise considering you were at a table in angel’s share. his fingers infused with cryo and from the heat of your pussy mixed with his icy fingers, there was a burning sensation that made you bite your lip to keep in your moans.

anyways that sucks ass i just am having a brain rot considering i’m building kaeya. i am having such a hard time but if ur a zhongli, xiao or hu tao main, please join my world. i love to co op and show off my shit damage lmao

i start school tomorrow so i’m gonna be a little inactive on all socials! take care my darlings. mwah mwah

feel free to reach me on all socials! might be slow with replies </3

@emilekyren on twitter, instagram and tumblr

@allhailmakizenin_ on tiktok

63 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 23:07:46 GMT

thoma brain rot

it was a late night for thoma but that didn’t stop him from his strong desires for you to be next to him and the things he wished to pursue with you once more.

the way he so desperately needed your touch, so sensitive to touch himself, every shiver that ran down his spine just by the memory of how you treated him.

no matter, he slowly pumped his cock, with every stroke followed by whimpers and moans that he wanted you to hear even though you weren’t there.

“a-agh~ god, fuck that f-feels so good” thoma whined continuously. his mind was flooded by the way he remembered you choking on his cock, how he used that pretty little throat of yours as his personal cock sleeve.

as he approached his high, his body was shaking with every thought of you, each stroke, each moan, each whine and whimper,, he needed you so desperately to make him feel better than he already was.

with the final few jerks, he choked on his words, repeating “f-fuck! nghh ahh~ yes, yes. give it to me, please i-i need this-“ being cut off by his own words, cum spurting out everywhere, making a mess of himself.

coming down from his orgasm, he was exhausted by the energy imputed from that day and from the thoughts of him not having you to relax him and end the day on a calming note.

nonetheless…him getting off to you was just enough, and more than he could’ve asked for in that moment.

i wanna peg him :( he would be so needy and desperate omfg i’m gonna die

118 notes • Posted 2021-10-17 07:30:44 GMT

Childe as he pounded himself into you like nothing. digging his nails deep into your waist as you bounce up and down his cock. telling you how good you make him feel sends you into an epiphany every time

“ah-ahh, nghh god~ fuck that f-feels so good” hearing his whines and whimpers makes you reach your high as you cream onto his cock, sending chills down your spine from your shaking orgasm.

nothing changed no matter how many times you two had sex with each other. the same blissful moments you shared always stayed the same which both of you would never get tired of.

goodnight, im almost done with my childe x f!reader and i’m so sorry for the wait. i’m back in school so i’m very busy </33 bye bye my loves

155 notes • Posted 2021-10-12 07:36:38 GMT

childe brainrot i guess

Childe couldn't wait to see how you looked, fucked dumb on his cock. It was something he could never get tired of. He loved the way you squirmed and moved your body, even though you could never escape him, from the tight embrace he held your body in as he drilled himself into you.

Through the soft whimpers and moans emitting from your throat, Childe grunts in your ears "is this what you wanted? you wanted to be fucked like the little slut y-you are huh?" struggling to get his words out from being out of breath

you couldn't even answer from how hard he was going into except for the continuous moans and the constant nodding of 'yes'.

finally after the long hours of Childe fucking you into oblivion, you passed out from the exhaustion.

you woke up to see Childe still sleeping, which made sense since he had gone all night long with you.

you couldn't ignore the fact that he looked gorgeous in the early morning. the way the early sunlight hit his ginger hair, his slim figure gracefully laying in the bed.

you wondered how such an elegant figure, resting, could be so rough with you. you didn't want to wake him up or make it obvious that you were just staring at him, so you put your head back down onto the pillows and cuddled right next to him.

you couldn't have asked for someone better than him, Childe. and how you loved him so, was beyond words and something that you were never able to do.

okayyy hopefully that was fine. school has been kicking my ass and i wanna change my theme to genshin, more like childe so we shall see. i'll try to post more often <33 bye bye

439 notes • Posted 2021-09-27 06:08:10 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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bots-basket · 3 years

Text

Sincerely, Percy.

{ Y'all wanted fluff }

______ ~Monday~

Dear Diary,

You'll never guess what happened to me today! i was going on my usual bi-weekly swim with my dolphin friends Pip and Twitch- when i stubbed my toe on something in the water. When i looked to see what i ran into- i saw the tail of a GIANT robot! He was way bigger than me.. and kinda all rusted up- but i felt a little warmth in the water around us... i just knew he was somehow still alive! It took alot of tugging and pulling.. but i dragged him back to shore. The marine biology center workers were happy to help me clean him up and get rid of the rust on his body. My Dad Sent him off to the neighboring facility to repair him.. Hopefully the engineering corps will be able to fix him up! ~ A Hopeful train A.I ------- ~Thursday~ Dear Diary, Good news! After a few long nights of working on him, they managed to start up my new friend! i will admit it was a little shocking to find out he only had one eye.. but little Quirks is what make us all unique right?

i was excited to meet him- But he wasn't.. in fact he seemed downright hostile towards everyone when we first booted him up. My Dad says that he's much to dangerous to be left active for the time being and they had to place him in standby (since they couldn't figure out how to turn him off again 030). I think he was just a little startled at first and naturally got defensive.. i would've too since when we found him he was at the bottom of the bay after all. I think i'll try convincing my dad to let us try again tomorrow. I'll keep you posted! ~ A concerned Train bot ------- ~Sunday~ Dear Diary, I have to be quiet since it's really late and i'm not supposed to be out right now.. Turns out my Dad was planning on having him sent away to another engineering corps so they can figure out what went wrong with the new robot.. so i guess my reasoning didn't really get through to him.. i know he's really just worried that me and the other workers would get hurt if we tried interacting with him again.. But that doesn't mean we should just ship him away just like that! I'm gonna go and try to convince the other robot that we're not dangerous! hopefully i'll be able to calm him down and then find another way to convince my Dad not to send him away! i really hope i can save him.. Till we speak again! ~ A Determined Train A.I ----- ~Update~ So. i managed to get him outta standby... As i expected he was pretty guarded at first.. but when i made no attempts to appraoch him he mellowed out a tiny bit and just sat in a dark creepy corner.. now we're just kinda.. sitting across the room. looking at eachother. I don't know what to do now. at least he isn't attacking me right..? I wish you could talk and give me some advice Diary TT^TT ~ A Cornered and slightly creeped out Train A.I ----- ~ EARLY. Monday~ Dear Diary, Good news! im still functioning. the funniest thing happened. i don't remember when i drifted off to sleep while we sat there staring at eachother- but i did. and when i woke up? The big guy had crept from his corner and LAID BESIDE ME. Even as i write this his tail is kinda laying ontop of me and i cannot move. im also a little scared that if i move, he'll wake up. Yeah he's still asleep.. i have to write this very slowly becuase i don't wanna wake him. he didn't have to come over and keep me warm.. but he did anyways. that's definitely a good sign right? Maybe he's just kinda shy.. i'm glad i'm making progress though. still kinda tired so i'm gonna take a nap.. Talk to you soon. ~ A Exhausted A.I ------ ~Update~ OP. Dad found out. i don't think i'll be able to talk for a while- gonna go get chewed out- Hopefully i'll be back soon! ~ A Busted A.I ----- ~Friday, 2 weeks later ~ Dear Diary, Salutations! Haven't heard from me in a while, huh? i bet your wondering what happened to me and that robot right? Well i have some great news! We ended up adopting him! I Even got to name him too ^^ His Name is "Click", For all the weird noises he makes! Over the span of a few week's we've been helping him adjust to his new environment. He's been a really big help to me with keeping up with deliveries and carrying the boxes that have been too heavy for me. He's also alot nicer now that he's gotten used to us. One day in the future im gonna teach him how to swim! he's a little unsure about the water as of right now, but just like i helped him find a home, one day i'll help him Conquer his fear of water! I knew he wasn't a bad bot. I'm Glad that i can now proudly call him my big brother ^^ ~ Sincerly, Percy _________________ ~ On the Next page, A Daffodil had been pressed into the book with words written under it. the words read; " to new beginnings" ~ A Single Tear found it's way down the empurata's Face as he gently closed the book and set it back down on his little brother's Desk. He Glanced up and stepped out of the station hanger to join the excited A.I Calling for him to go on their first swimming lesson. He may not have a face anymore, but anyone could tell he was smiling.

Little Did Percy know that the words his brother had read in that little book would stay with him forever.. ~

#{ detective detective; click }#{ daydreaming; drabble }#{ you’ve arrived at your station!; percy }#{ i do adore; fluff }#{ in our humble opinion; ic }#{ as legend fortold; lore }#(( here’s your daily does of serotonin))#(( hope you realize that I’m gonna be Angsty real soon ))

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 4 years

Text

THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD IS A BAND-AID FIX

gearbox locked zane’s lazy fix behind a paywall

tl;dr: for the love of god, the seein’ dead class mod should be what the seein’ red capstone is and vice versa. also. MORE SYNERGY. also i redesigned all of Zane’s trees and augments for more synergy you’re welcome.

is 1am and i don’t want tomorrow and im angry and thinking about borderlands so this seems like the perfect time to immerse myself in remaking Zane’s skill trees (for the 5th time). mainly because some of zane’s skills are still irking me and i’ve written extensive essays for the bl3 subreddit about the seein’ dead class mod and just playing around with zane’s skills in general, but i don’t think i’ve ever posted here before about it. so here we are. i notice i usually save lore/theories/characterizations for this blog and meta/balancing/gear talk for reddit. not sure why that’s a split for me.

now i’ve remade zane’s skills a number of times, but honestly this was all before the seein’ dead mod was released. then, instead of fixing his skill trees, i wrote a lot of essays about why that mod was a terrible bad decision on gearbox’s part (you can read one of the shorter arguments in a comment from 5 months ago here). I’m just gonna remake the skill trees now with all his current abilities in mind.this post really should be titled: ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR BALANCING DECISIONS

so imma just talk for a bit about why i love/hate the seein’ dead class mod.

Obviously it’s a god tier mod, and you see almost no zane builds without it, and no top tier, can solo m10 true takedown builds without it (unless ur like, the 1% of masochistic players, in which case i salute you). and while that obviously means its a good mod, it also shows the problems with all his other class mods and his skill trees in general.

They all kinda suck. and that wouldn’t be a problem, bc, hey, the seein’ dead mod is ez to get, just pop on over to the casino and kill a few baddies and they’ll drop like candy. Which is really awesome!

slight problem.

the dlc is locked behind a PAYWALL

now this is a problem because if zane was a top tier character BEFORE the dlc, and everything was hunky dory and people weren’t on their knees begging for gearbox to fix Zane, then him getting a new badass class mod wouldn’t be such a big deal. but the problem was this was gearbox’s solution to giving Zane a buff.

they literally locked a buff for a character behind a pay wall.

I recommend Zane is every single person I try to convince to play bl3, but i always have to add this like, commercial-esque asterisk. you know, terms and conditions or, side effects or whatever. *you probably want to get the seein’ dead mod if you’re looking at end-game play because unless you wanna struggle that’s his only viable play style.

what if they don’t want to buy the dlc?! for real...

There’s also the point that this class mod makes his (arguably) BEST capstone obsolete. so we have distributed denial which literally no one uses because its broken, double barrel which is always traded for seein’ red or more points in other skills, and seein’ red, WHICH WAS MADE USELESS BY THIS CLASS MOD

gsfdhjikdhgdaskjfhgaskdfjh

okay and it wouldn’t even be so bad

IF THEY DIDN’T CHANGE HIS ENTIRE SKILL SET BEFORE RELEASE

like they lowered ALL his kill skills, then they turned Seein’ Red into his capstone instead of Death Follows Close, meaning they nerfed Death Follows Close so it could fit as just a game changer. my poor boy was g u t t e d.

so, imagine this, everyone is reaching the end-game content of bl3. it’s a month or 2 weeks or whatever after the game dropped and people are finally hitting level 50. and moze/fl4k/amara are all killin’ it, and the zane players have to work their ASSES off to do like... 50% of that damage output (now, they did also eventually nerf the crap outta moze and fl4k but the point stands).

so instead of gearbox going: “oh... shit that pre-release nerf was an awful idea, revert the changes guys” they decided to keep him gutted and then they released what was, in my opinion, a kick in the nuts with the maliwan takedown (aka the antifreeze mod, alongside the spiritual driver) ahahahahahaha. what good times it was. (I say this sarcastically.)

man i remember people were soooo livid with that class mod release. well, both of them. zane mains were pissed off (for good reason). “yes, let’s make the people who are begging for a straight damage increase jump through MORE hoops (LITERALLY) for a pitiful amount of damage. oh, also, let’s give their 28 skill point build to the strongest character in the game for free and also make it 10x better”. because it was 10x better than violent momentum (driver didn’t have a damage cap) until they fixed both the spiritual driver and the violent momentum skill. it was the worst of times.

i will note here they did, around this time, let zane have stackable kill skills, but it was only 2 stacks and also it was still *incredibly* difficult to achieve stacks because zane just. struggled to kill anything. I still remember when i grinded the shit outta an antifreeze class mod and it took me over 20 minutes to kill Wotan my first time solo on m4. Not the fight UP to wotan. literally. just killing wotan.

then the seein’ dead mod dropped and i had. a fuckin. 15 minute decrease to my time on killing wotan (5 minutes!!!!). now i am not perfect, and i 100% believe i could’ve lowered the time even more. but that... that shows a VERY CLEAR problem.

they never actually fixed zane, they gave him a class mod that’s stupid OP just to make sure he could hang on next to the other Vault Hunters. it’s just a bandaid fix. you remove the class mod, and he’s back to pre-jackpot power levels (which will NOT hold up at m10, let me tell you).

all his pre-jackpot problems are still here, and that’s why people are not using any other class mod of his. I bet we could have some really fun builds with the conductor mod! but nobody will ever use it because it’s just... not even close to the seein’ dead mod.

So what does the seein’ dead mod do that makes Zane so good?

IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO PRE-RELEASE VALUES

this mod, plus Death Follows Close, brings Zane back to pre-release zane. and i don’t understand how gearbox isn’t putting two and two together and going “Oh.”

it also is a BETTER VERSION of Seein’ Red!!! something players could have had at, like, level 15, but instead had to wait until they hit a capstone! the capstone is completely obsolete at this point. There is nothing seein’ red can give you that seein’ dead doesn’t do but better. Getting that capstone is a w a s t e of skill points.

AND they locked this fix behind a pay wall!!! i cannot say that enough. you don’t wanna get the handsome jackpot dlc?? guess u don’t wanna play zane at endgame then. too bad, so sad.

have i stated that enough? because it still blows my fuckin mind. THEY LOCKED A CHARACTER FIX BEHIND A PAYWALL

djhdgakjhakjdah. imagine playing without any prior knowledge and being like, aw man i love this zane character. can’t wait to get to max mayhem end game like all my favorite youtubers and friends!! then finding out you gotta drop 15 bucks or whatever it is just to actually be able to play at max mayhem level. that is not a skill difference, that is A BALANCING PROBLEM MY DUDES. like. my favorite zer0 build was still viable without the story DLCs. obviously grog > rubi, pimp > lyuda, rapier > law but, it was still fuckin viable.

guh. gufhgufhsdgkfjsdh. it bothers me.

ok so there’s a lot i just went over: my main issue? is that by making Seein’ Red a capstone, they did nothing to make it an actual legit capstone. They definitely nerfed Death Followed Close to make it a gamechanger, but they never gave Seein’ Red a buff to move it from a gamechanger to a capstone. It was the same exact skill. Seein’ Dead is what Seein’ Red SHOULD be and that’s what angers the crap outta me. they locked this obvious fix behind a pay wall (AND a gear slot!!!!!) n ur probably thinking ‘but cruddy this WAS really nice of them to try and fix zane... they could’ve just let him be suuc’ and like, yeah, they could’ve, and it is good they’re TRYING, but also, they’re leaving the people who DON’T buy the DLC high and dry.

keep in mind i DO own the dlc. have the season pass and everything. IM STILL MAD!!!

Zane should be strong no matter what class mod the players want to use. Same with Amara, same with Moze, same with Fl4k. FFS, it is not that hard. CHANGE THEIR SKILLS!!!!!

so im gonna be taking the time to go over all of zane’s skills and shit just to put him more on par with the others (WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD)

imagine the seein’ dead mod doesn’t exist for this. we’re gonna make a balanced character since apparently THAT’S TOO HARD FOR A TRIPLE-A BALANCING TEAM

first things first, the tree with the most fuckin problems:

Under Cover

oh god this tree is a fucking train wreck what the hell were they thinking. good god. my eyes. they’re burning.

not actually, but it still kinda sucks.

Action Skill: Barrier is fine. I would not add the ‘picking it up decreases benefits’ when Zane’s whole schtick is running around fast. You get the full bonus no matter what form it’s in. also, you can hold down the action skill activation button to deploy the barrier directly on yourself.

Tier 1: Hearty Stock is a trap. never get this. so dumb. no synergy with his other skills. Adrenaline is okay, but not really great during end game. Ready For Action is similarly okay. Just a very MEH start to this tree.

Adrenaline: Zane gains increased Action Skill Cooldown Rate. 10% per level, up to 50%. this shouldn’t be tied to his shields being full because if your barrier is down (cooling DOWN)... your shield is taking damage. c’mon now. THINK GEARBOX T H I N K

Hearty Stock: (maxed) Zane and his clone gain 5% magazine regeneration while an action skill is active. This skill stacks. In it’s original state, this skill is such a trap skill. for real.

Ready For Action: i mean, it’s fine. We’ll keep it. +30% shield recharge rate and -29% (why????) recharge delay

Tier 2: ech. Stiff Upper Lip is not that good. Brain freeze is what u really want. Rise to the Occasion is also okay.

Brain Freeze: keep the same.

Stiff Upper Lip: when Zane is damaged with a hit that would break his shield, he gains (max) +20% bonus gun damage on his next shot through the barrier.

Rise to the Occasion: Zane and his clone gain health regeneration. +5% max health/s. Not determined by shield availability.

Tier 3: `screams in confident competence` oh lawd. this skill is good. the accuracy thing is kinda laughable. i tell you, i always thought that zane was originally meant to be the sniper with the Under Cover tree but they decided to swap Zane and Fl4k’s skills. which is why Zane has soooo many accuracy buffs.

Confident Competence: fine the way it is. I would also add, since this IS a game changer, that the Barrier’s damage amp is now 40%.

Tier 4: ew. tier 4. Really Expensive Jacket is literally the only skill you might want to get and EVEN THEN. ugh. Best Served Cold is so pointless. and so is Futility Belt. YOU TAKE MORE DAMAGE WITH IT

Really Expensive Jacket: Elemental Status Effects have reduced duration (-50%). Additionally, Zane is not slowed by Cryo anymore.

Best Served Cold: Remove the cooldown. Buff up the damage at least 200%. Make it an AOE Brain Freeze. That is, the cryo novas stack and if overkill damage is high enough, enemies hit with the novas freeze. Kinda like a discount Frozen Heart.

Futility Belt: HA. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Zane gains resistance to non-elemental and cryo damage (+15%). Futhermore, after killing an enemy, Zane’s barrier gains additional cryo damage (+20%) for 8s.

Tier 5: is oki. My only real complaint is with Nerves of Steel. Like. Seriously.

Refreshment: god tier skill actually. Keep the same.

Best Served Cold: also keep the same. The only change I will make is this: resetting your action skills’ cooldowns counts as action skill start and end.

Nerves of Steel: The longer Zane’s barrier is active, the more stacks of Nerves of Steel he gains (a maximum of 15). For each stack, Zane gains 2% shock damage, 2% cryo efficiency, and 1% damage to frozen enemies. (why shock damage? cryo doesn’t do well against shields.)

Tier 6: *cries in the worst capstone in the entire series* WHO DID THIS. WHY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU???

Distributed Denial: no. just. no. scrap this whole damn thing. IT DOESN’T EVEN WORK!!!! either fix it COMPLETELY or do something else. My recommendation? Whenever Zane throws down his barrier, his shield instantly begins recharging. If Zane’s shield is already full or recharging, enemies with no shields (or freeze immunity) that touch Zane’s Barrier for the next 10s are instantly frozen.

Augments: why the hell do i gotta place my barrier down when my entire fuckin’ character is about RUNNING. ALSO JUST AS A BLANKET STATEMENT: ALL THESE AUGMENTS WORK 100% EVEN IF HIS BARRIER IS PICKED UP. SO DUMB. a fully pointless restriction.

that last sentence immediately fixes Charged Relay and Nanites or Some Shite.

Redistribution: If his shields are full, Zane can sacrifice 50% of his shields to have his next shot deal 100% bonus cryo damage by holding F.

All-Rounder: Fine as is. Only thing I would add: whenever Zane melees an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and his sliding augment is added to the melee attack.

Deterrence Field: Fine as is. But! I would add: whenever Zane sprints into an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and slam augment is activated.

THAT WAY we can have both slam/sliding relics actually DO SOMETHING. because my god they’re so useless rn.

alright, moving on.

Hitman

Tier 1: is okay. nobody ever takes cold bore. ever.

Violent Speed: fine as is, but we’re taking it back to pre-release values. Max: 30%. can stack 2x.

Cold Bore: Zane gains (max) 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots fired while moving.

Violent Momentum: fine as is, but taking it back to pre-release values. 30% gun damage at default walk speed. Additionally, Zane can now shoot while sprinting.

Tier 2: my boy zoomer needs more fun.

Cool Hand: fine as it is. I would buff his base reload speed up to 20% and kill skill reload to 20% as well. 17 and 13 are such weird numbers.

Drone Delivery: fine as it is. Additionally, Zoomer’s base shots now take on the element of Zane’s grenade mod.

Salvation: fine as it is. I won’t mess with this bc life steal is messy business (coughs in grog)

Tier 3: hhhynf.fdsg.

Death Follows Close: Kill Skill Bonus: +30%. Kill Skill Time: +7s. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer take 5% more damage from Zane.

Tier 4: these two skills are actually p dope by themselves. it can stay as it is. I would MAYBE increase the violent violence max buff up to 20% but that’s just me.

Tier 5: ahahahaha. this skill. just remember, we’re pretending Seein’ Dead doesn’t exist, so imagine how this skill looks next to calm cool n collected. so pointless.

Good Misfortune: Killing an enemy with a critical hit adds (max) 10% efficiency to Zane’s kill skills for 8s. This does not stack.

Tier 6: WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RELEVANT AGAIN BOO HANG IN THERE

Seein’ Red: Zane has a (4%) chance to activate his kill skills upon dealing gun damage to an enemy. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer now take 15% more damage from Zane.

so why didn’t we make good misfortune the infinite action skill build?? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CCnC IS SUPPOSED TO DO!!! why have 2 skills that do the exact same thing AT THE EXACT SAME TIER except ONE IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE!!!!!

what happens to the Seein’ Dead class mod if we’re giving its perk to this capstone? I’m so glad you asked. “Zane activates his kill skills when activating his action skills. Additionally, the kill skills activated this way have 15% more efficiency”. look how much better balanced that is!!!! that’s a class mod!!!!!!!!

Augments: these aren’t THAT bad, but they could be a lot better.

Winter’s Drone: Zoomer gains 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots.

Bad Dose: pump these numbers up. Fire Rate: +7% per affected enemy. Movement Speed: +10% per enemy. everything else is fine.

Boomsday: just make this more beefy. fr. It’d be a good choice if it were stronger.

Static Field: also fine. I would again give it better damage output, but that’s just me.

Almighty Ordnance: remove the build up honestly. Like i get the vibe and it’s really cool, but in combat it just DOESN’T WORK. maybe if Zoomer is targeting an enemy, he will unleash the missiles if they are above 50% health after 30s or something. I honestly think these should have a debuffing factor instead of a damage factor (you know, to not get in the way of boomsday). maybe something around 15%? the 1x per action skill activation thing would be easily subverted with CCnC with the changes we suggested, so it could work.

Doubled Agent

ahhh, Blane. Blue Zane. Love ya, buddy. One change: he prioritizes pinged targets. That way you can kinda get him to fight specific people. Also, lower the teleportation timer. pls.

Tier 1: actually p good. could be better, but its not bad.

Synchronicity: Zane gains 20% bonus damage per active action skill. While Zane has an action skill active, he gains a stack of Synchronicity. Max Stacks: 10. For each stack of Synchronicity, Zane gains 5% Action Skill Cooldown Rate and 2% Action Skill Damage.

Praemunitus: Zane and his digiclone gain (max) 30% magazine size.

Borrowed Time: For each action skill active, Zane gains 30% action skill duration. The longer Zane’s action skills are active, he and Blane gain a higher Fire Rate and faster Reload Speed, up to 20%. (the idea is you choose between this or synchronicity bc... either permanent action skills build or fast paced action skills build)

Tier 2: Donnybrook is fun. Fractal Frags is fun. Duct tape mod is a GODDAMN DISAPPOINTMENT

Donnybrook: fine as it is. I might buff the max numbers up to 20% gun damage and 3% health regen. But that’s really it.

Fractal Frags: Blane will periodically toss a grenade from Zane’s stockpile at his targeted enemy (cooldown: 20s). Kill Skill: Blane has a 45% chance to throw a free grenade.

Duct Tape Mod: this skill... why... No cooldown. NONE. Zane has a 1% chance to also fire a grenade from his gun. Kill Skill: This is increased to 15% for 8s (stays at 1% for the whole time, but the kill skill will increase by 3% for each tier)

Tier 3: Actually Quick Breather is one of my favorite skills. this can stay.

Quick Breather: Same as is. Additionally, Zane and his clone gain 25% Gun Damage after swapping places for a short time (8s). I really wanna promote swapping places. It’s really underutilized. they’ve ADDED stuff to this skill already!!! even tho it didn’t work until the next patch. BUT THEY SHOW ITS POSSIBLE TO ADD TO SKILLS!!!

Tier 4: actually a really good tier. a few minor changes.

Pocket Full of Grenades: Kill Skill: Zane gains (max) 15% grenade regeneration for 8s. If Zane’s grenades are full, any excess grenades are shot from his gun with 25% bonus damage.

Old-U: If Zane falls into FFYL while his digiclone is active, he can press the action skill activation key to destroy his clone and gain a second wind. When he does this, he takes the place of his clone. His clone will also drop a grenade when it is destroyed.

Supersonic Man: Zane gains increased movement speed for each active action skill: (max) 15% each. Additionally, teleportation is considered to be Zane’s maximum speed for its duration and 5s after.

Tier 5: oh god oh fuck oh god.

Like a Ghost: Oh god why. Zane and his digiclone gain a (max) 15% chance to ignore all damage while teleporting and for 7s after.

Boom. Enhance: actually a pretty swell skill. I would probably add Health Regen +3% per grenade tho. Blane needs help a lot.

Trick of the Light: bring back the shock damage. Zane deals 40% bonus shock damage for 7s after swapping places with his clone.

Tier 6: oh ngl I actually love this capstone lol

Double Barrel: Zane’s digiclone gains a copy of Zane’s current gun when it is deployed (and all the anointments work and he actually fires it like a reasonable person). Zane’s clone now deals damage equal to Zane’s base weapon damage. Upon swapping places, both Zane and his digiclone deal 50% bonus damage for 7s.

Augments:

Binary System: is okay. Kinda uhhh underwhelming tho. Buff up the damage and also maybe reduce teleportation time.

Schadenfreude: I like this one a lot. Zane’s shield is restored by 100% of the damage his digiclone takes and vice versa.

Dopplebanger: lower the waiting time. I get that u don’t wanna override the teleportation, but it’s really annoying. Buff damage and don’t make it dependent on action skill duration. If this explosion kills an enemy, the clone is reactivated with 50% action skill duration.

Which One’s Real?: I’ve never actually felt this work. Maybe for like 2 seconds? Make it work more like Zer0′s hologram or Timmy’s Jack clones or smth. Maybe give an activation cue? im v lost with this one. Enemies targeting Zane take 30% more damage from the digiclone.

Digital Distribution: 75% of the health damage Zane takes is distributed to his clone instead. The digiclone gains 5% Health Regeneration/s and sends out 3 [level specific damage] shock spikes to enemies that attack it.

literally all Zane needs is SYNERGY. if they can change a few skills, pump up a few numbers, and ffs fix the seein’ red/dead capstone/mod, they’d be in FUCKIN BUSINESS

but no instead

THEY LOCKED THE BUFF BEHIND A PAYWALL.

WHYYYYYY

#>:(#borderlands #im not redirecting my anger im legitimately angrey about this wat u mean #bl3 #zane flynt #but actually this is such a frustrating thing to deal with

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riskeith · 3 years

Note

omg hi. sorry i disappeared for a few days, been super busy with school. i missed you a lot. how have you been?

i haven’t had the need to eat any food since i got barbara and noelle on my team. if one of them can’t shield, the other comes in a clutch haha. *bows* thank you ladies for your service.

i’d pay hard earned money to see fanart with the boy scouts playing with guoba.. :( and YEAH. that would be so fitting? + it’s gonna be liyue themed which is super nice. do you know any predictions over which four stars will be in xiao’s banner? and who do /you/hope will be there?

last time i played three days ago unlocked dragonspine.. i even did albedo’s quest i can’t believe i defeat that evil place sjshdksk. meaning i got so some primogems and some intertwined fate. i’ve been itching to use some of the intertwined fates to get xiangling c rate up... should i?

october 20 is such a cute bday. you know how some dates just look nice? that’s one of them shskdhs. i want to say my birthday too but i feel like if anyone reads our messages they’ll know who i am... sorry. you’ll have to wait for that information until we privately talk some day. big promise. 🤍

ooh. you kind of wing it too, then! in some ways. if you’re not feeling it do you leave the fic for the day after or give up on it for a while? (so many question... shut up @ me) i’m the same as you! but i also write sometimes in the day time and i feel like that’s when i produce my best work. yesterday i was at a cafe studying and during a break i just started writing a fic and for some reason it just flowed so nicely? so yeah idk skdjdhsk. whenever it strikes i suppose.

i do borrow my books sadly. i kind of have to because i don’t have anymore place to put my books (we live in a small apartment) and books are kind of expensive :( i don’t mind borrowing though because i don’t really reread books unless they’re super special so it’s fine. do you buy yours? I HAVE READ LEGEND. i read it waaaay back in grade school haha, it’s been ages ago. i’ve never seen anyone say it’s their favorite but i can see why you feel that way. it’s kind of underrated in the community for sure.

dude fuck... chongyun and xingqiu live in my mind rent free. i kid you not i just can’t stop thinking about those boys... please send me all the fanart you find i’ll literally give you my life for that <3

i just listened to the g-idle song and AAA? wtf? i used to really like them while i was into kpop and this is so nostalgic to me. i haven’t listened to kpop in literally years shdkdhdk. this song is great thank you for sending it, do you like g-idle? <3

WAIT ARE YOU MAKING A SECOND ACC? I WAS LITERALLY CONSIDERING DOING ONE IN ASIA FOR YOU... shdjdhdjshsjsj our minds. and yes i’m in american server... oh god. our co-op date can happen? 🥺 but if it’s too much work for you i’ve seriously actually considered doing one in asia for me i’m totally fine with starting all over so.. 🥺

god i’ve missed talking to you so much. once again i’m sorry for not being here, but hopefully after tomorrow’s exam school will be a bit more chill and i’ll be yours again.

hope you’ve been well babe. mwah!

hi!! that’s alright ahah, i assumed that was the case. i’ve been well!! and then not so well bc we weren’t talking 🤪 needless to say i’ve missed you a lot too <333

omggg QUEENS!!! i don’t have any healers but i don’t eat food either... LMFAO unless it’s a boss fight i’ll just keep going until i’m done with whatever it is then go heal at a statue fsdhfkdjs

!!! brb just gonna go get good at art so i can draw that for u 😩 i don’t have any predictions myself, but i’ve seen people say it’ll be ningguang + beidou + barbara possibly?? but of course, i would hope that xingqiu was there <3333 he can appear twice in a row come on mhy <3333 just think about that <333 and omggg i’d wish if chongyun came as well.. i really want to get him to c6 (but he was only two banners ago?) hbu do you have any thoughts on the matter~

AHAHAH good job im proud of you 😤😤 show that nasty place who’s boss!! if you want to, I don’t see why not! it’ll get you closer to pity as well so by the time venti is near, hopefully it won’t take you much to get him! lmk how it goes!!!! manifesting c6 xiangling for you 🔥

fhskdf thank you... is it weird to say i agree? FHDSKFHSDKFKJ like. 20/10 or 10/20... nice even multiples of ten numbers.. AHAHAH. no need to apologise at all!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍 share whatever you’re comfortable with whenever you’re comfortable <33

hm it depends. (i just reaslised i said this exact phrasing last time too lmfao) i think i usually give up on it for a while? but sometimes i try to force myself through it too, just to get over that section so i can hopefully move on to a better one wait sorry i misread your question LOL. i usually leave it for the day as opposed to give up on it for a while! if i’m actively working on something i’d prefer to continue working at it slowly, even if the progress is just me opening the doc and then exiting after 5 mins fhdskj. are you the same? (NO!!! DO NOT SHUT UP @ YOU i never get to talk about writing processes pls im enjoying this a lot)

nice!! the vibes when writing during the day are sometimes better as well, bc it’s still light and stuff you’re not sitting in the dark or with a light on.. lol. it’s more ~natural~ & omg legendary... i love that for you!! on that note, do you usually study at school/cafes/libraries? i pretty much can only study at home, i hate doing it anywhere else.

ahh that’s fair :( and yeah i agree books can get so expensive? like the authors def deserve to be compensated for all their hard work but damn lmao. oh that’s a good point! i do buy books yeah, and i don’t even necessarily reread them i just like having them on the shelf fhdskfd (there are many i haven’t even read for the first time... oops.) what ages do grade school cover? sorry i have no idea what that means fhsjfkshsdkjs the different names for education levels will never not confuse me. !! yeah i really wish legend was more popular aaaaa

here are some recent arts i’ve bookmarked!! (rip i should find one more so every word is linked but cbs hfskdhfs) i’m also considering making a genshin twitter! idk why i’m so averse to following these amazing accs on my normal account lmaoo but i’m also thinking of posting pics from the 52485 photoshoots i do with chongyun..

oh nice!!! i’m really happy you liked it 🥰🥰🥰 and yeah i do like g-idle but i don’t stan them! that’s me with most groups tbh fshkfjsd but i do watch most of their MVs when they first come out~

FSHFKJSDHFKSD wait what if.. this but it’s us surprising each other in the other’s servers <33 and if i’m telling you the truth... i kinda despise the idea of playing in am*rica server FHSDKJFHSDKFHSDKKDSHFKSDHKKJ but we could compromise and both start again in europe?? ahah let me know what you think! if you’re happy to just do one in asia tho that’s fine as well~

me too!! and no worries for real, school comes first!! (even if it fkn sucks... @ school i hate you. i say, when i’m still on holidays FHDSKJFJS) aaaa good luck on your exam!!! i hope you smash it 💪💪

also um “and i’ll be yours again”??!?!?!?!? be still my beating heart 😩😩😩😩 i shall be waiting for you wifey hehe

hope you’ve been taking care of yourself!! kisses, c.r.

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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mooksie01 · 4 years

Text

With Teammates Like These, Who Needs Friends (4/5)

Chapter Summary: It turns out that the only thing worse than a tense first date in an airship... is an awkward first date in a haunted dust mine.

Or: In which Clover feels like a moron, Elm causes problems, and nobody knows how to deal with a crush.

Warnings: More swearing, canon-typical combat, SPOILERS for V7C3, light angst

AO3 Link: [X]

Link to First Chapter: [X]

Notes: THIS IS A REPOST. Tumblr basically blanked my first attempt at posting this a few hours ago. Hopefully this one will actually show up.

Long chapter today to make up for the short one yesterday! I hope you all enjoy!

Please like, reblog, and comment if you like this chapter, and thank you so much to all of you who have been! Your support means the world!

(Just to preface, I haven't edited this chapter as thoroughly as I usually do, as I'm currently in the process of packing to go back to college tomorrow. I might come back later and give it another run-over when I have time, but for now, I'm sorry if there are any major mistakes or awkward spots in the chapter!)

---

Walking through the abandoned dust mines with Qrow, Clover can’t help but be… a little distracted.

Up until now, Clover had only ever seen the other man move in a manner so instinctively disconnected and introverted that he’d just assumed that that was how Qrow always was. Now, though, he sees that he was wrong before; beside him, Qrow marches forward, back straight, shoulders carefully held lax in preparation for any possible conflict, head high, and eyes shining with a startling clarity and determination that takes Clover’s breath away.

In short, he’s a vision and it’s a herculean task not to stare.

Still, Clover is a soldier first and foremost, and he doesn’t allow himself to be sucked in so much that he might lose focus on the mission.

After a few long moments punctuated by nothing but his team’s routine check-ins, Qrow speaks up, “Gotta say, ’m still not really used to working with other huntsmen in the field.”

Clover glances at him out of the corner of his eye, mentally jumping hurdles in an attempt to figure out what the best route to steer this conversation in would be. He decides to tread lightly--nothing too personal. “But you were on a team before, weren’t you?” he asks, as though he doesn’t already know. That should be safe.

Qrow sighs softly and his gaze darts to the ground.

Fuck.

Just kill him already.

“Long time ago…” Qrow’s voice comes out sounding gruffer than usual, “I’ve just found working alone tends to be for the best.”

Clover’s heart constricts in his chest. What is he supposed to do?! He’s already upset Qrow (twice, now!), how is he supposed to avoid doing it again?! He doesn’t want him to shut himself off from the Ace Ops just because Clover can’t stop sticking his foot in his mouth! Should he comfort him? He seems like he needs comfort. Fuck, he has to respond. What can he say?!

“Well, I think that’s a shame,” he blurts out, and immediately wants to punch himself.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, he is saved from having to ruminate over his social missteps when Qrow suddenly pitches forward, his foot catching on the uneven terrain of the cave floor underneath them.

Clover dives after him, seizing him by one arm and grunting with the unexpected strain of having to pull his partner back to his feet, then moves one hand to clasp his shoulder and make sure he’s steady. He is unsure if he has his skill or his semblance to thank for the feat, but he is grateful nonetheless to whichever it is.

He determinedly does not think about how this is the second time today that he has gotten the opportunity to hold Qrow close. Because that would be weird.

Once Qrow is standing again, they stare at each other for what feels like a long time, but is probably only a split-second. Clover feels like tiny nevermores are making a mess of his insides the longer he looks into Qrow’s eyes.

Then, those incredibly nice-looking eyes narrow into a slight glare and Qrow takes a firm step back. Rather than think about what he’s messed up this time, Clover decides that now would be a perfect time to report in to his team.

“Alpha, here. Give me an update.”

Qrow falls into step behind him as they proceed forward. Once again, the minutes pass mostly in silence but for the intermittent interruptions of their comms. Unlike Squads Bravo and Charlie, they see no sign of any sentinels or the target itself, but Clover has a feeling that they will soon enough.

His comm buzzes in his ear and makes a soft beeping noise, a signal that someone is contacting him through the Ace Ops’ private channel. Clover is about to answer aloud, but stops when a quiet series of taps and drags echoes down the line. It takes him a second to realize he’s being spoken to through morse code. His heart starts racing. They almost never use morse code in the field. Has something gone wrong?

He listens closely.

“ .... --- .-- … / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -... .. .-. -.. “

HOWS YOUR BIRD

He takes a deep breath in and steadily lets it out through his nose. Now is not the time to figure out if it’s possible to throttle someone through a comm line. Instead, he tries to discreetly raise a hand to his ear and respond:

“ .. -- / --. --- .. -. --. / - --- / ..-. .. .-. . / -.-- --- ..- “

IM GOING TO FIRE YOU

“Who are we firing?”

Clover startles, whipping his head around to look at Qrow. The other man stares impassively at him, a single eyebrow raised. Clover swallows hard because oh no, he’s hot. “Nobody. Well, Elm, probably.”

“What did she do?” Qrow asks, quickening his pace half a step until he is walking shoulder-to-shoulder with Clover again.

“Fooling around on comms during a mission. Don’t worry about it.” Clover stops walking, turning to face Qrow, who takes the hint and also comes to a halt. “How do you know morse code?”

Qrow shrugs, folding his arms over his chest. “Just a useful skill for a huntsman to have, isn’t it?”

Clover scrutinizes Qrow for a long moment, detecting that there’s something more to that. Unfortunately, though, he’s not Robyn, and he doesn’t know Qrow well enough yet to pick up on any tells he may have, so he just nods and they continue walking.

“Must’ve been something real interesting,” Qrow says after a few more minutes spent in silence, “to get you to blush like that.”

Clover’s steps falter. His face grows hot as he stares after Qrow’s retreating back.

Fuck.

He isn’t allowed to stew in his embarrassment for long, as their target suddenly phases through the cavern wall and appears right in front of them. Before Clover can even react, Qrow has already drawn his weapon and started shooting one-handed at the geist.

While Qrow keeps the creature busy, Clover shakes himself out of his stupor and speaks into his comm, “This is Alpha! We’ve engaged the target!” He pulls Kingfisher from his belt. “All squads head towards our position!” He extends the pole, and casts out the line, hoping to catch the geist by its ribs and haul it in before it can reach any materials to build a body out of. Unfortunately, his shot misses, the hook clattering to the ground just as the target darts into a giant chunk of ice sitting on the cavern floor.

Pieces of rock and ice begin to float into the air around them, pulled unrelentingly into the geist’s orbit. Clover curses under his breath and rushes forward, hoping to snag the geist and pull it out of its half-formed body before it can finish construction….

...Only to hear Qrow’s panic-filled voice echo from behind him, “Wait, stop!”

Clover looks up just in time to see a large metal beam tumble from the ceiling above. He raises his arms and takes a stumbling step back as it crashes into the ground just a few feet in front of him.

When the dust settles, he peers down into the hole it had made, taking the target with it.

Dammit.

He knows for certain that that beam would’ve done some serious damage if not for Qrow’s warning. He probably wouldn’t have died, but he certainly would’ve been out of commission for more than a little while.

Still, the target got away, and as Qrow runs to stand beside him, he reports in to the rest of the teams, “Target escaped. Last seen headed east.”

He shoots a sideways glance at Qrow, who is staring contemplatively down into the chasm, a strange light in his eyes that Clover can’t quite comprehend.

He looks back into the seemingly-bottomless darkness. Kicks a medium-sized stone into the newly-made pit in an attempt to get a rough estimate of how deep it goes. “Thanks for the call-out,” he says, suddenly remembering that he should probably express his gratitude toward Qrow for saving him an awful lot of injured leave. He props a hand on his hip and shifts his weight as the rock lands below. “That could’ve been bad.”

Qrow sighs heavily next to him, “I wouldn’t thank me….”

Clover is taken aback at the sheer amount of self-loathing and shame loaded into those four little words. He looks at Qrow. The other man is firmly avoiding his gaze, and the strange quality that Clover had noticed in his eyes earlier now registers in the back of his mind as guilt.

This… was not the Qrow Branwen that Clover had thought he’d be dealing with. Just a few hours ago, he couldn’t fathom a world in which such a famous huntsman would be anything less than confident and secure in himself, but it is becoming increasingly clear that that assumption couldn’t have been more wrong, as the intense self-contempt Clover hears seems to settle within a well-worn place in Qrow’s face and voice.

Qrow angles his upper body away a bit more so Clover can no longer see his expression. “My semblance brings Misfortune. Sometimes… I can’t keep it under control.” His voice gets weaker at the end of the sentence. His fists clench weakly at his sides.

Clover’s chest seizes with some unnamed emotion.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course Qrow had been upset this morning--his semblance was literally bad luck and here Clover had been, walking around with a bunch of good luck charms and making luck-based puns.

Reviewing the events of the past hours, more and more pieces fall into place. Qrow’s sudden shift in mood from playful to downtrodden after they’d run into each other, how he’d repeatedly downplayed his hurt feelings as “dramatics,” the way he’d said on the airship that he “couldn’t blame” Clover for--for what?

He remembers the way Qrow had gestured to his ensemble earlier. His world tilts on its axis.

Oh, Brothers, Qrow thought that Clover already knew his semblance and had been wearing all of his charms as some sort of twisted precautionary measure. To ward off him. A human person with thoughts and feelings.

Stupid, stupid, so stupid.

He shakes his brain’s attempts at self-punishment away. What’s more important at the moment is that he now knows what’s wrong, and that he can fix it, and Clover decides in this moment, a million thoughts running through his head, that he no longer cares about the other Ace Ops’ teasing. If hanging around Qrow from here on out is what it will take to boost this gorgeous man’s self-confidence, then that’s what Clover will do.

“That so?” Clover asks, as though he hasn’t been rethinking every single one of their interactions up to this point. When Qrow turns to look at him, eyes wide with shock, having obviously expected a far worse reaction, Clover flashes him the most reassuring smile in his repertoire (and that’s saying something, since he has a lot of reassuring smiles saved up at this point). “Well, hey,” he says, purposefully making a show of glancing casually at his scroll’s screen and extending Kingfisher, “don’t beat yourself up about it.”

(He hopes desperately that this remark comes off as encouraging, rather than callous.)

He pulls down what’s left of the metal beam that had almost crushed him, resulting in a small-scale landslide that just-so-happens to give them a way down with which to follow the target.

He turns to face Qrow, making direct eye contact with the other man, who seems to have frozen in place.

And hey.

“My semblance is good fortune….”

If he can get in a little flirting while he’s hanging around the aforementioned gorgeous man?

“...lucky you, huh?” He gives the other a wink as he speaks. Qrow’s eyes widen. Clover raises his eyebrows and turns away, watching Qrow until the last possible moment.

Well, that’s neither here nor there.

---

More Notes: And there we go! Only one chapter left in this part of the series! I'm glad everyone seems to be liking it so far, and I'm so, so thankful to those of you who have been so kind and supportive in the comments. You're all amazing! Lots of love, fair game rights <3

#rwby #qrow branwen #clover ebi #fair game #qrowver #lucky charms #luckbirds #elm ederne #rwby volume 7 #rwby7 #rwby v7 #rwby fanfiction #rwby spoilers #pining #angst

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uglypaw · 5 years

Text

i'm 6 weeks post op as of yesterday! heres my full diary for the first week post op that i wrote during recovery if anyone wants to know what my experience was. CW: blood, surgery, drugs, unsanitary, self harm. if you have any other questions im happy to answer them!

sorry for how long this is lol--

june 21 friday (surgery day)

i'm writing this a few days later but here's how i remember it--

i checked in to the empty office and the copay was $10. the receptionist had me sign a form so that they could call my dad once my surgery was over and he gave me a plastic medical bracelet with my info on it. we hung out in the waiting room for about 10 minutes before i was called in by a nurse. she asked me if i had to pee (i did) and asked if there was a chance i could be pregnant (there wasn't). this nurse was very apathetic and had a very flat voice. i didn't like her.

she had me go to a bed with a gown and a bag for my stuff on it and instructed me to change with the curtain drawn. i did and hung out for about 10 minutes for her to come back, and then she had me lie down and covered me with a blanket and went over my medical record and what meds i was taking and stuff like that. while she was doing this, a male nurse came by and gave me a bunch of painkillers to take with a cup of water(i almost choked on them), and put in my IV on my hand, which was the most painful part. he said i have thick skin on my hand and he really had to push. at this point i got kinda lightheaded hearing him say that but i calmed myself down after a bit.

they called my dad back in and another nurse told me it would be about an hour before the surgeon came to see me. we hung out and played with the monitors on my blood pressure and heart rate and O2 and stuff and made jokes about writing messages on my torso for the surgeon to see when i was under. during the entire time waiting for surgery i was super hungry and wanted to hurry up so i could eat afterwords.

after about an hour the surgeon came by and marked me up, which was kind of uncomfortable because the markers he used were sharp. he held conversation the whole time and was very friendly and charismatic. he went over the marks a bunch of times, and had tentative places marked for my nipple grafts.

he told me the right side was larger than the left so the incision would have to be a bit longer, but since i'd lost weight the incisions were going to be very minimal either way.

after he marked me up he left me again and i asked another nurse to use the bathroom and i got a heated blanket. the anesthesiologist came by and he was funny and casual and alleviated any anxiety by explaining what meds he would be using on me (don't worry about the pain, i prescribe A LOT!!!) and he left once more and another nurse (OR helper) double checked what procedure i'd be doing on the computer, and she told me they would ask me the same questions again once we were in the OR to double confirm. (this ended up not happening because i passed out pretty quick.)

they came by again and confirmed the OR was ready for me, and the anesthesiologist gave me two shots into my IV of some warm liquid and told me i'd be feeling it pretty quick because they were strong (he was right, within a few minutes i was feeling loopy and warm. i was worried i'd have a panic attack about the meds taking effect so fast but it was nice). my dad filmed this part.

they came by about 5 minutes later and said they were ready so they had my dad go back to the waiting room and wheeled me to the OR which was a tiny room with a lot of machines and bright lights and white walls. i remember thinking it looked nothing like it did on TV. they had my name on a whiteboard on the wall. they introduced me to some of the new people i hadn't seen before but i was pretty out of it by then so i wasn't paying too much attention.

they had me scoot over from my hospital bed to the surgery table, and had my arms out to the sides crucifix style. i thought this was really funny and made a note to remember it after surgery.

i recall a few more moments of them rechecking my charts but then the next thing i remember is coming out of anesthesia and seeing my dad and the lights overheard being really bright. someone took off my oxygen mask but i think i was having trouble waking up so they had to put it back on so i would breathe.

they tried to sit me up too fast and i almost passed out so i was given water and gatorade (that i brought from home) and they very slowly raised my bed. my throat was really sore during this time and i remember the gatorade burning as i drank but it was better than the water.

coming out of anesthesia was long and i remember being irritated at it taking so much time and making everyone wait for me. i was also the second to last person in the recovery room (there was a lady next to me coughing a lot, the nurses were saying she was a handful).

my dad told me the doctor told him it was a super easy surgery and it made a difference that i was "lean". he said i might not have fluid in my drains by monday (surgery was on friday) but they wanted to be absolutely sure that i wasn't draining anymore before taking them out.

we talked with the nurse for a while as i caught my breath and could sit up again, and my dad ran to the pharmacy downstairs to pick up my muscle relaxer meds before we left. the nurse talked to me about my transition and stuff like that. i didn't mind because i was still pretty out of it.

when my dad came back they got me a wheelchair but made sure i could stand and could walk to the wall without falling. i was pretty weak but made it steadily. i was surprised how mobile i was. my dad helped me get dressed but i didn't need much assistance.

my dad pulled the car around the front while the nurse wheeled me down to him, and we chatted as we went. the whole hospital was empty and it looked closed. he pulled my chair right up to the car and helped me in, and we thanked him a few times before leaving. he kept repeating if there was any issue with drains coming out to come back to this hospital.

the drive home was fine, and when we got back my dad insisted on taking the dogs out so i could get out of the car. he helped me out and eased me inside to my room. my mom gave me soup though i wasn't too hungry. i chilled in bed for a few hours before falling asleep and my dad showed everyone how to empty the drains. my mom was grossed out but not too much.

i ended up eating about half an edible to help me fall asleep and manage some of the discomfort, but i could have done without it. i had to pee a LOT during the night because of how many IV bags they'd given me. right when i came out of surgery they told me it was good i was dehydrated because it meant i had followed the instructions on not drinking nor eating since midnight the night before.

i was a little worried about wiping myself but my arms were very mobile and i could do it no problem.

i took a bit of tylenol but none of my prescriptions because the pain was very manageable.

sleeping on my back was the hardest part as i was supposed to be sitting up, and my neck was killing me even with my travel pillow. my butt was also really sore so the next morning i made an effort to walk around a bit. having a big squishy pillow under my butt while i slept also helped with the soreness and by day two it was fine. i stretched my legs a lot and tried to lay down as little as i could.

june 22, saturday

morning after surgery

night 1 wasn't great! i woke up a lot to go pee and it was uncomfortable laying sitting up. my neck ended up hurting a lot from the travel pillow. this morning brutus wanted to be with me so bad and i felt bad sleeping without him. i had to maneuver him around so he was on my lap and not my chest because he wanted to be close.

my incisions hurt a bit but it's not unbearable. it feels like the night after i made a big self harm cut, stings and i don't want to jostle them.

the rice krispy definitely helped last night with pain and relaxation and falling asleep, and i'm surprised it didn't give me anxiety or a bad dream.

i don't like sleeping on my back. i woke up around 3 to pee and didn't get back to sleep until almost 5. i was thinking about food to eat the whole time.

i really want ihop pancakes and syrup.

i'm getting little sharp shoots of pain on parts of my chest but they're not too bad and hopefully they mean i'm healing. i'm hopeful they're where my nipples are.

i really should have brought cough drops to the hospital, my throat was very sore after intubation.

i feel electrodes still stuck to my upper chest and i want them off, they're irritating. (i ended up peeling them off a few hours later)

it's still tough to pee but i've been taking short walks around the house to stretch my legs. i. get tired easily so they don't last more than a few minutes. still haven't taken any of my prescribed pain meds, but the pain is getting worse i think. people are telling me the pain will get worse tomorrow.

i've been vaping thc and taking tylenol to manage the pain and they make me sleepy so i've been taking 2-2.5 hour naps and then getting up to pee and snack.

i took a norco pill in the afternoon but i dont think i needed it. i didn't feel much of an effect from it at all, but it did make me sleepy. that evening i went for a bit of a walk around the front yard.

june 23, sunday

i didn't sleep very well again last night but it was better than the day before. i think having a soft pillow under my butt helped with the soreness and i didn't need the travel pillow as much as i did yesterday with my naps. i still woke up disoriented a lot from my 2 hour naps

i stayed up till like midnight and then just passed out from exhaustion so i didn't wake up very much during the night to pee. this morning i woke up very refreshed but feeling gross physically. i cleaned out my own drains, had papa clean my shoulders and put on my testosterone, and megan dry shampoo my hair. i still haven't pooped but i'm not making too much of an effort. j think i'll take laxatives today.

thus far the pain isn't too bad. last night i had little twinges of sharp pain along my sides near my armpits but haven't had any since. taking deep breaths is getting harder because the incisions are getting more sore and my back is hurting from the binder.

this morning when we drained my drains one of them had barely anything in it which is good

update: i did poop a bit. i've been peeing a lot today.

i haven't napped at all but my arms are getting painful from being squeezed from the binder.

having that shower in a bottle has helped keep me feeling fresh and clean. i may take a sponge bath sometime this week. hygiene is keeping me feeling good, i brushed my teeth and washed my face with actual soap earlier which helped me feel good.

june 24, monday

i'm very sleepy today. i washed myself again with the shower in a bottle and i woke up itchy. i took a long nap in the middle of the day and i'm still pretty out of it and tired. i woke up last night only twice to have diarrhea from the ex lax chocolate papa got me yesterday.

i didn't have a lot of fluid in my drains this morning but it was more than yesterday.

my right drain keeps coming undone. i took another nap today and once i woke up i saw it was completely inflated. i fixed it pretty easily but it's strange it keeps happening.

ive been having binding pains a lot today from being compressed so tight. it hurts mostly when i stand up.

i gave myself a sponge bath today and washed my hair in the sink! i think that activity drained me because afterwards i took a 2 hr nap. i keep feeling like i'm sleeping a lot but all my naps are quite short.

june 25, tuesday

today i had a bit more pain where the drain sites are. it stings and burns a bit but it's not unbearable, just very uncomfortable. it happens regardless of the arm positioning.

i'm getting a lot more tingling/pins and needles over my chest but my actual incisions don't hurt. my ribs and back are killing me from the binder soreness, and i've been tired but not enough to sleep. every time i get up it kind of resets the pain so i'm trying not to adjust a lot.

i feel like i've been eating a lot of crap the past few days so im trying to be more mindful about eating more protein and less refined sugar

also, my chest was very itchy so i put my hand down the front of my vest to scratch it and i couldn't feel anything. it felt like when a limb falls asleep too hard to even be pins and needles and just turns numb. it made me uncomfortable so i only did it a few more times.

i have less energy to walk today than i did yesterday, but not tired enough to sleep. i'll definitely take more of the sleepy antihistamines to sleep tonight.

june 26, wednesday

not much new stuff to update on today. i took two norco pills because one didn't do anything and i almost passed out, i got super lightheaded and nauseous and had to lie down for a while to let my brain catch up.

we took the dogs on a walk to the gate and my chest felt weird walking but not in a totally bad way, i just had to go a little slower so i didn't jostle anything.

i'm so excited for friday! i can't wait to get my drains out.

pain has been pretty minimal today though i did take a few naps. i haven't smoked today at all because i wanna keep my brain clear and save my weed and there hasn't been a huge difference in pain.

my muscles feel very good today and it doesn't hurt to stretch my shoulders and reach for things as much.

drain sites are still very itchy and kinda sore. not a lot of fluid but i noticed the right side hasn't been inflating as much! i think it just needed to be milked and cleaned better.

june 27, thursday

the pain has been the worst today by far. i was draining a lot and found out that exercise or excessive movement will cause more drainage, and i did go on a longish walk yesterday with my mom and the dogs. i ended up taking tylenol, flexeril, hit my pen, and had the rest of the rice krispy treat just to dull the pain. it's starting to go away now but i'm still getting like stinging throbs and aches where my drains are. i'm definitely taking painkillers before we go tomorrow!!

i'm worried the excess drainage means that they'll want me to keep the drains in longer. i rally hope not, they're the one thing causing me pain.

i looked at my chest this morning and last evening and there's a little blood bubble inside the plastic they taped me up with on my left side. i can see my chest too, with all the surgeon marks and the edges of the incisions. it does look like he curved under the pec muscle. i was expecting straight line incisions, though i'm sure i'll warm up to it.

i've been very weak and light headed today, and when i stand up i need to take a minute to let the stars go away out of my vision.

june 28, friday

today's the day! we're leaving soon to go to kaiser for my one week post op. i really hope they take the drains out despite the spike in fluid i had the other day from going on that walk.

i'm very tired today and feeling very lazy. usually i want to bathe in the mornings but today i feel so gross i don't want to do anything. i managed to get myself out of bed today to do my laundry but that's as much work as i could manage.

later; they ended up not taking the drains out because of the spike in fluids from going on a walk the other day. they want to be 100% sure that there's less than 20mg over two or three days so i'm making an appointment for monday.

Monday update: got the drains out. Completely painless and not uncomfortable -- didn’t have much sensation in the area and the nurse distracted me so I didn’t notice her removing them. The worst part was her cleaning the area with alcohol beforehand.

#speaks #top surgery #surgery #post op #recovery #long post #cw

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feelssogoodinmyarms · 5 years

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Hello my uwu children, tonight I bring you a fanfic from my amazing sibling. They’re 13 and i’ve raised them well bc of this masterpiece. It’s told from Wendla’s perspective in a modern au. I think they do a great job of capturing Hanschen and Melchior’s rivalry as well as the romance between martha and anna and hanschen and ernst. The characterization is beautiful and I have cried reading this, so be prepared. 1 like=1 respect.

Finally, after work and craziness I could sit on the couch eat some chips and chocolate. Then...Haunchen bursts through the door and says

“YASSS BITCHES SLEEPOVER”

“Ugh... hans I’ve had a long day get out of my house”

“Oh okay....um”

“What?” Then everyone bursts in wearing matching pjs. Earnts is holding candy Ilse is carrying movies and Melchi has a fucking kitty pool. Hans started making a cutting motion across his neck and looking at the gang with a stressed look.

“What?” Asks earnts while everyone franticly runs into the back yard to fill up the kitty pool.

“Um...she’s kinda had a long day maybe we can post pone the sleepover till tomorrow?”

“Yes please” I added as soon as i said that Melchi ran on wearing floaties and i lost it!

“Wait wait. *sigh* don’t postpone it its fine”

“AYYAYAYAYA”

They threw my matching pjs at me and cheered. Then, we all went into the pool yes, wearing our matching pjs! We splashed and played.

“Wheres martha?” I asked

“Oh she and ana went to go get us some food” said hans

“Bow chic a wow wow” melchi sung

“Shut up!” I said and as soon as i did they walked through the backyard holding in and out. We got out and dried off and began to DIG IN!!

After we finished eating hans got out a list and unraveled and i swear it crossed the whole kitchen!

“Oh my god!” Martha said.

“What did you even plan?” Asked Anna

“A lot of things” i added

“Okay check off kitty pool and dinner! Cool next is make overs!!!”

“Oh god” i said

We went into my bathroom and they completely DESTROYED IT!!

“Omggggg Hansi look look!! This highlight is the one in that one video!” Said earnts

“Omg yeahhhh!!!” Hans responded

“Guys don’t touch that!” I yelled

“Looked anna this window leads to the roof!” Said Ilse as she broke through it

“That window...doesn’t open” i tried to tell Ilse. But it was too late she had already broken through the glass. But my attention was drawn somewhere else when i turned around because i herd something fall and break. Melchi and Hans had gotten into a fight and hans through my glass soap holder at melchi who had dodge it then it shattered.

“Nice job Melchi!” Screamed hans.

“GODDAMNIT HANS!!” Screamed Ernst “I WILL DRAG YOU OUT OF HERE BY YOUR EAR IF YOU KEEP UP THIS BEHAVIOR!!! That was probably a family air-loom.”

“Dont worry about it ernst. It wasnt that important.” I laugh then leave to get a broom.

“FUCKIN SHIT!” I hear come from the bathroom on my way back up the stairs with the broom.

“What happened now?” I here Ilse say.

“I STEPPED ON THE FUCKIN GLASS SHIT!” I here Otto scream.

“Nice job dumbass” says Melchi.

“Lets just move on to the next activity” hans says.

“Good idea” ana agrees.

“TRUTH OR DARE!!!” Screams hans. Everyone follows him out of the bathroom

“Melchi truth or dare?” Says Ana

“dare!” Melchi answers.

“LICK YOUR FOOT BITCH!” Screams Ana. Melchi does.

“FUCK! SHIT!” Melchi screams.

“Truth or dare Hans?” Asks Ernst.

“Truth” he answers.

“TITTIES???” Hans screams. They both loose it and melchi gets up and says “im bored. Gonna go get food. Anyone comin’?”

“No food in the fridge. Sorry” i say

“anyone up for a milkshake?” Asks Ilse

“totally” answers Ernst

“im down” says Ana

“same” says hans.

“Settled then. Meet y’all in the car” says Melchi.

“Shit” i say. We are all in the car in our almost dry pjs and we rock out to some Ariana Grande.

“Hey sorry we are only open for another 15 minutes” says the cashier once we get to Ruby’s.

“Boo!” Says Ilse

“we’ll take 6 Vanilla milkshakes to go please” says Melchi. After we get our milkshakes we head back for the car

“well that was under whelming” says Ilse

“definitely” ana agrees.

“Hey not to far from here theres a bowling alley oped till midnight! We have 2 hours before it closes lets go!” Says hans.

“Fuck” i say. Once we get there it is complete chaos.

“LETS USE MELCHI AS THE BALL!!!!” Screams Hans

“i second that” i say almost tasting the salt in my mouth. Everyone laughs until i hear a thud and an “OW WAT THE FUCK HANS” come from behind me.

“THAT WAS SO FUN!” Exclaims ana.

“Yeah except for the part when i almost BUSTED MY HEAD OPEN!” Says Melchi.

“I think you deserved it” says hans

“shut your dumb face!” Says melchi

“okay okay calm down!” I say “lets head back and do face masks!”

“YEAH!!” They all scream running back to the car. We finish off the night telling secrets and doing face masks.

“Goodnight everyone!” Says hans turning off the lights.

“Night” Ilse responds

“night” i say

“night” ernst says

“night!” Says Ana.

#its so beautiful i cant believe theyve surpassed me already #we love a writer #spring awakening #dwsa #sa #deaf west spring awakening #wendla bergmann #melchior gabor #ilse neumann #ernst robel #hanschen rilow #otto lammermeier #anna wheelan #marianna wheelan #martha bessel

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rosykims · 5 years

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drthamen replied to your post “tell us abt saoirse”

first of all: we stan! and also what's your go to party for her? if you wanna info dump even more! tell us abt what she thinks about the companionsssss

omg sammy i cherish u truly !

saoirse's main party is aloth, d*rance, eder, sagani and hiravais, but i do swap eder out for pellagina a lot too. The party is pretty fluid especially since i have all the companions from white march as well, so really the only charas that are essential is aloth and durance, mostly for my sake since wizards are op and i literally cannot play this game even on story mode w/o a priest oof

she has mostly good relationships w everyone except durance which is a pretty big achievement for someone as introverted as her!

aloth // obviously she loves him a lot bc she romances him lmao ! i havent started poe2 yet so i cant really talk much abt their romantic relationship but their friendship is rly nice ! there is very little romantic interest between either of them in poe1 except for maybe right at the end, bc they both just werent in the right emotional space for it ykno. their relationhip starts very distant and begrudging, since saoirse is only interested in undoing the watcher business and getting back to her life. it isnt until she learns about his awakened condition and his family history that she starts to warm to him, since shee feels like he gets her in a way most dont. theyre both pretty introspective, so she also appreciates just hanging back with him while the others chat, and just enjoying silence for a bit.

she was absolutely furious after finding out he was leaden key, especially bc she had shared her fears of being exploited/betrayed. it took her a while to forgive him, but it was actually laoghaire who managed to help talk her down and see his side of things. their friendship ended up getting stronger after that ! her worldstate ending basically encouraged aloth to value autonomy, and he ends up dismantling the leaden key.

edér // one of the first actually friends she made out of the companions. she admired his love for his brother bc obviously she can relate, and knowing what happened to woden made her really empathise w him. she ended up coming to really romanticize the idea of eothas, or redemption more like, to the point where she was almost disappointed when she saw he was not amongst the other gods in teir breith. edér really pushed her to be better when she didnt think there was any hope for her. his ending has him put his faith in people, and he becomes mayor of dyrford.

durance // absolutely hates him lol. actively tries to kill him after That One Hollowborn Conversation and really has no time for him after that. shes super cruel to him after finding out abt the magran/woedica Tea and even moreso after the revelation about the gods. idk im thinking abt experimenting in my next playthru, having pellagina as a support paladin bc apparently she can be just as good, and then maybe i just wont invite him in my party at all lmao. he throws himself on a pyre in my worldstate ✌

grieving mother // ok so... i'll be honest i dont know much abt gm !! i barely had her in my party bc saoirse is a cipher so there was little need. the only thing i cant really say for certainty was that saoirse was pretty distrustful of her for a while.

hiravais // bros ! they have a mutual admiration for each other, since saoirse thinks hes hilarious and outrageous (shes way more sheltered than she looks, so any sexual innuendos either completely shock her, or totally go over her head) and hiravias thinks her reactions to his jokes are the funniest things ever. they are both pretty protective of each other and stand up for one other, both being considered socially “other". hiravias prioritized wael in my ending.

kana // they don't have much in common, but kana is BEST BUDS with laoghaire, so saoirse has a big soft spot for him. It took her a long time to accept that kana actually was as nice as he seems, and so he remains to be a big comfort for her, even though she rarely talks to him one on one.

pellagina // saoirse has..... a highkey crush on her when she first meets her. which is VERY saoirse bc underneath her grumpiness lies a true hopeless romantic. anyway saoirse really looks up to her, since she is another godlike who seems to have accomplished so much and has essentially risen from nothing. saoirse kinda looks to her as a role model for a time, and although she feels somewhat intimidated by her at times, she also likes going to pellagina when she’s mad and needs someone to rant to. theyre both rational minded people at their core so they work super well together and, like aloth, pellagina doesn’t need to fill the silence of a room so that suits saoirse just fine ! pellagina doesn’t go through with the trade deal in my canon, and ends up working for a merc group. it made me sad but it seemed like the best outcome imo :(

sagani // another woman saoirse looks up to, though she shares a sense of comradery she doesn’t really have with any of the other members. both women are drifters are are doing unpleasant work out of a sense of duty, and both feel alienated from their homes and families at times. it’s never really spoken that plainly between them - especially not at the start - but they both empathise with each other deeply, which is why saoirse really tries to help prioritize sagani’s family towards the end. sagani got the nice family-orientated ending in my canon so ::3 we stan :3

i might do the dlc charas later but yea like i said she really... unexpectedly found friendship w all of the characters of poe, and she SEVERELY misses the adventures they all had together in the space between poe1 and poe2. im started poe2 tomorrow (hopefully) so im excited to really.... play her as a more benevolent person after all the shit everyone went thru in the first game.

#drthamen #replies #oc: saoirse #dskdsksd how absolutely blatant is it that i have thought of Nothing Else for the last 3 weeks lmao #anyway i hope this makes sense bc im too lazy to proofread it whoops ! no editing we die incoherent like men #thanks again !!!#/ long post

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sorrybaescenarios · 6 years

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Thunder || Byun Baekhyun scenario || part 2

A/N: woooow this took me so much time im sorry. thank you so much for all the love part 1 received, i dont deserve it.

♛ Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

♛ Genre: angst

♛ Word count: 1,4k ops

The ride home was quiet, the only thing heard being the rain from outside accompanied by the occasional thunder. Baekhyun would sometimes sneak a glance at you through the rear-view mirror, sighing softly when you moved your head the other way. He looked like he wanted to say something, explain himself but as soon as he opened his mouth at a red light, no words came out. Was he nervous? Definitely. But he knew that sooner or later, he would still have to talk. When the car slowed down and your house came into view, you were up and ready to just storm out and run into the house, wanting to get as far away from him as possible. So, when you went to open the car’s door and saw that it wouldn’t budge, you finally turned to look at him with a scowl on your face.

“It’s still raining pretty hard, don’t you want to wait for a bit?” he asked, a small smile forming on his lips which only made you glare at him harder. He frowned at this and went to open the doors, seeing no point of keeping you in here if you were unhappy.

You turned around to look out the window, contemplating if you should leave now or ask for an explanation. A part of you told you to leave, saying he should be the one to feel the need to explain not for you to beg for him to talk. The other one, who was apparently stronger, wanted you to stay, needing some sort of comfort. So, you did.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

At your words, his head immediately shot up, clearly not expecting you to talk to him.

“Wait, scratch that. Were you even going to?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

His eyes widened in surprise at your accusation, “Of course! How could I not?!”

You raised a brow at this, leaning back on your seat, “Oh really? When? Tomorrow? Hours before leaving?”

He shifted his eyes back to the ground, a habit you’ve caught him doing on multiple occasions when he feels guilty about something. So that’s it then. His lack of words angered you more and this time you actually opened the door, leaving him alone in the vehicle.

You took off running for shelter towards your house, the heavy rain soaking you from head to toe. After a few seconds you heard the other door slamming shut and Baekhyun’s voice yelling for you.

“Wait, Y/N, I’m sorry! I was meaning to tell you, I swear I was! I just - I got caught up with all of the planning so we could spend as much time together as possible that it just completely slipped my mind.”

“Something like this doesn’t just slip your mind Baekhyun!” you yelled back, tears starting to form in your eyes, “you can’t just not tell me these types of stuff! In all of this planning you did, have you even thought about me for a second? Or did you just think about yourself?”

He stayed there silent as the rain poured on him, soaking his hair and clothes. His eyes locked with yours, silently begging for forgiveness. He knew he was in the wrong here, no doubt about that but he still hoped you could look past it and forgive him, like you always do.

Except this time, you didn’t.

“Just go! You were going to leave anyway.”

And with that, you finally disappeared inside your house, slamming the door shut behind you.

Two weeks have passed since that day and Baekhyun has done everything in his power to get you to talk to him. For the first few days, he kept texting and calling non-stop making you wonder how in the world did he have so much free time to keep blowing up your phone. When you actually answered one of his calls, he swore he almost had a heart attack. He was so happy and hyper that you picked up, he did all of the talking, you chiming in once in a while to answer one of his questions. After realizing one phone call can’t solve everything, he started sending you flowers. A lot of flowers. Your house was basically full of them, from small cute bouquets to large pots you could barely fit through the door. And with them came the occasional letter, saying how much he loved and missed you. It was really cute, and by the end of week two you were ready to even fly to where he was just to talk to him in person. Almost

You were laying on your couch, scrolling through your social media when you heard the door open and close with a soft click. You looked up when you heard huffing and puffing and saw your best friend from across the hall trying to make your way towards where you were through all the flowers.

“Jesus Y/N, how many flowers does this boy has to send for you to forgive him?”

You chuckled as she still struggled to walk without knocking anything over, being extra careful when your phone lit up with a notification. Your attention went back to the device hoping it was another text from Baek when you saw someone mentioned you in a post. Confused, you tapped on the notification and were greeted with a video that was currently loading.

After a few seconds, the first thing that popped on the screen was your boyfriend, dressed in a fancy dark blue suit which appeared to be frantically looking for someone. He appeared to be at an event of some sorts where cameras weren’t really allowed since this was clearly filmed with a phone. Once his eyes set on that person which was currently off screen, a big smile formed on his lips before he started jogging in that direction. And that’s when you saw it. His ex. Your eyes widened as they hugged and started talking, laughing and smiling at each other. They looked really good together, like really good and you bet if you were ever next to the two of them, people would think you’re the 3rd wheel not her.

You were about to close the video, seeing nothing major in it. You knew Baekhyun and his ex ended things in a friendly manner, so this didn’t bother you, that much, but thanks God you didn’t because in the next second she leaned in really close to him and whispered something into his ear, pulling away just as fast and planting a quick kiss to his cheek before walking away.

The sound of the doorbell distracted you from the anger that was bubbling inside you and you stormed off towards the door, knocking down all the flowers that were in your way, knowing exactly who it was, leaving your best friend dumbfounded in the middle of the living room.

“Hello, delivery for miss Y/L/N.” said the tall man with numerous bouquets behind him.

“Where were they sent from?” you asked impatiently.

The man paused, looking through his files, “China ma’am.”

“Ok, I want you to send them to this address.” You finally breathed out, scribbling down an address on his notebook. He nodded before saying his goodbyes and leaving.

And that’s exactly what you did for the whole next week. Every time a delivery for you came, it didn’t matter what it was, as long as they were from him, you just send them off to the SM building so Baekhyun could get it all when he came back. At first, you wanted to send them off to her but then quickly decided against it since she would most probably tell Baekhyun about it.

After that, you just ignored all of Baekhyun’s texts and calls and kept sending his deliveries away. You knew you were being childish, but you really couldn’t help it. For all he knew before, you were still mad at him so how could he just go and be all cozy with his ex was beyond you.

Another week passed and you got rid of almost all of the flowers that were still in your apartment, leaving the ones that were still fresh.

You were currently sitting on your couch, doing some work on your laptop when a knock on the door got your attention. You got up and made your way to the front door, opening it without checking. How you wish you would’ve.

There he was, your boyfriend in all of his glory standing right in front of you with bags under his eyes, looking tired.

“Can I come in?”

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#exo #exo scenarios #exo reactions #exo baekhyun #baekhyun scenarios #exo angst #baekhyun angst

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mani-mari · 5 years

Text

Misfits Season 5 reactions

so I’d forgotten that tomorrow, we have the day off, so I can watch an episode tonight. It IS storming though... walking a thin line.

Episode 2!

Spoilers beyond this point!

so if you haven’t seen my posts before, I start out each reaction with “--” to separate the scenes and whatnot. here goes!

-- real quick can I just give some appreciation for this show’s opening shots? every single episode starts out with a beautiful opener. love it

-- ADKSADJSK RUDY SMACKED FINN SO HARD AKDFHAJKF I MCRYING

-- *smiles* “no.” okay Alex I see you!!! SIT DOWN FINN wait he’s already sitting.

... yeah

-- what the heck Abbey please chill it’s just a smell

-- Rudy stop you’re embarrassing me. please be normal for once lol. i love him

-- uhh it’s storming bad so I’ll stop here. I’m at the 9 minute mark.

alright continuing now a few minutes later

-- yikes Rudy’s dad is an abusive cheater okay I see how it is

-- YESSS RUDY PUNCH YOUR DAD I BELIEVE IN YOU

-- ope that’s his mum

THE DAD ACTS LIKE NOTHING’S WRONG I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM

-- “it’s okay, we’ve always suspected it” what a calm reaction

I actually love his mum she’s really sweet

-- okay Game Guy... that’s what I’m calling him... I feel bad for him. I hate that he killed Future!Simon - oh sorry I meant Conti- but at least he’s trying to be better. and he can’t control his power. I’m not sure how he escaped the game world in the first place, but it’s weird how he’s slipping back. he better not try anything when he meets up with Rudy >:^(

-- ... huh? wait, I’m confused. “our clothes???” Jess what are you talking about

-- fuck sake this show. of course it was the storm. Rudy’s dad had the SAME PROBLEM RUDY HAD. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

-- NO. NO. NO. DON’T HURT JESS. DON’T HURT HER. DON’T IM GONNA CRY FUCK UFCK FUCK FUCK NO DON’T HRUT HER

-- ajkhsafsnsa ajdnda Rudy spilled the tea “you’re nothing to me, you moron” honestly that was so powerful like damn that hurt ME

-- I’m confused. why did the evil dad just let them go? i hate feeling confusion mostly because I experience it every hour of every day but most importantly, in most other episodes, blood is spilled or lives are at stake. not here. he just lets em go. weird

oh wait hold on, there’s 23 minutes left in this episode. ah of course.

-- okay on one hand, we get to see Finn bare naked, that’s ... nice. on the other hand, we get to see the probation worker being weird again. that’s ... nice.

-- of course Rudy’s dad Jeff took all of her money

-- “you will shit in your pants” im laughing so hard. that’s such a frightening statement. Finn is so scary sometimes

-- YOOO that guy was cute.

also he flew away. flew? he didn’t really fly... he just kinda dragged his body upwards. anyway. he was so cute

it’s the hair

-- awwww Finn and Alex are getting along! also that guy just... flew away.... in plain sight..... um

-- is Laura the girl that made Abbey? for a second I thought they were doing a weird romance thing but I don’t think they are... I actually hope they aren’t because I want Laura to be that girl that made Abbey!! It seems like she is just bc Abbey smells her so like... weirdly. i dunno

-- lol Evil Jeff looked at him kinda disappointed. like I know what he was thinking but he looked disappointed. lol

-- I understand the tension but this was such a weird scene haha

-- where. is. Rudy.

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

-- YES!! YES JESS SAVE RUDY SVAVE HIM

-- that- oh.. my gosh

that was about to be. so bad. thank GOD Jess stepped in aufjakfnfaj im about to go nuts this show is bonkers

-- did I fucking miss something? Rudy’s lying right? Jess isn’t actually his girlfriend

-- ok... had to confirm lol... they’re only pretending ahaha......

so why do I ship them now

-- DD ADSKHJDSA S IDD YOU SEE THAT LOOK THE YEXCHANDED????? I SHIP THEM STOP IT SHE’S SPPOSED TO BE WITH ALEX!!! NO

-- tell me why I thought that was Kurtis fucking Conner

-- HIS NAME IS SAM IMC CRYING SAM IS SO CUTE

-- wow next episode looks intense ngl

okay! Episode 3 next week.

#misfits show #Rudy Wade #Finn Samson #Abbey Smith #reactions

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annashipper · 6 years

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Megapost Nr. 3 - June 23rd 2018

London Anon: Hello, Anna, London Anon's here! Did you saw the latest tweet from James R.? He's in London now and tweeted about" breakfast in pal's house, vegan (! ) breakfast and how pal's small children wanted to hear some piano music 😂. No names. It could be just a friend. But is it a tiny shoutout to Ben and "his imaginary kids" ? James wants to play some PR or what? Sorry, i can't do screencaps. I was browsing Twitter, saw" vegan friend with kids and piano" and nearly choked on my coffee.

Anna: Hi London Anon and welcome in our midst! :D

I’m sure James’ tweet was referring to Ben. The question is why they don’t realise baity tweets don’t work on any of the Skeptics anymore. On the plus side, at least James is a great friend who’s willing to go the extra mile for Ben.

Nonny Nr. 1: hahahhaha yeah, its gonna take more than that to convince me these kids are real. like, i dunno, seeing them. alive. once. in their life

Anna: But... we’ve already gotten a pap walk in HD from NYC for Pilo, and Weirdo was even smiling for the paparazzo who was taking the pics Nonny. What more do you need to be convinced? :P

Nonny Nr. 2: oh man, they really are painting a very specific family image. its the exact image i expected of ben and sophie. totally unreal and unbelievable, but totally predictable. these people are disgusting, and i include james the liar in that pile of disgusting as well.

Anna: Sorry Nonny, but I don’t agree with you. I would (and have actually done it in the past) lie for my friends. I actually think James’ tweet would have been a great touch in furthering the narrative Ben’s trying to push, had it only come at least 2 years earlier...

Nonny Nr. 3: they really need to get someone who lives on the street to talk about the kids, proving that they are seen in the area, since there is no evidence that they've ever been spotted in the nabe in years

Anna: Nonny, do “hardcore skeptics” who just happen to live very close to Ben’s new property and have seen Ben with his family around the neighbourhood multiple times count?

Cause I get such anonymous asks almost on a weekly basis, and the anonymous people who send them to me are VERY skeptical of Ben’s private life, even though they know for a fact the children are definitely real and they always report that Ben gazes at Weirdo tenderly during their strolls. None of them take pictures of the adorable family of course, because they respect Ben’s privacy too much for that, but they do see them out and about almost on a daily basis. And they are hardcore skeptics of course. They invariably tell me that on every single such ask I get.

Of course I never understood what they’re skeptical about given what they have witnessed with their own two eyes... but I believe them. And so should you!

Nonny Nr. 4: they should all go for a post breakkie stroll. im sure the neighbours are wondering where all the kids are

Anna: I'm sure I’ll get reports from at least 4 different very skeptical anons tomorrow about it Nonny :P

Nonny Nr. 5: hey PR? can we get a move on? we all know you have this story written, and this is all a narrative that is going to be controlled and released, lots of little stupid things like this, to wrap it up in an end w no blame. can we move it along? getting bens friends to lie like this is annoying. i know you have to but lets pick up the pace.

Anna: Now, THAT would be lovely Nonny. Intern, let’s skip all of the unnecessary baitiness and speed the whole thing up after Weirdo’s Wimbledon photo ops, shall we?

Nonny Nr. 6: “ The uninstalling of PrBatch won't happen...” I’m sorry honey nonny, you may take it in wrong order, when BTCC decides to take back his own life the shownance ends and the PRBatch uninstalls, not the other way.

Anna: Nonny, I couldn’t possibly agree more.

Nonny Nr. 7: I didn't view the TCA thing as a snub tbh, miniseries actors aren't commonly in the individual category. There's no rule against it or anything, maybe the critics feel TV is more shows? Over the last 25 years, only two miniseries actors have ever between nominated (Pacino for Angels in America and Giamotti for John Adams; no actresses at all). That's out of over 100 nominees.

Anna: Actually Nonny, Sara Paulson received the award two years ago for her performance on The People VS OJ Simpson.

Izzy: "To be perfectly honest, this is the first time I ever even heard of the TCAAs."- it's not new at all but from what I understand the ceremony is a private event. So I think it not being televised makes it forgetable lol

Anna: I’m sure that has A LOT to do with it Izzy :o)

@i-luv-benny-c: Wow, that part where BC lectures the magazine interviewer who dares to ask about his family. He should have stopped after “Sorry but I don’t talk about my private life”. And then he goes on to talk about his private life! His OTT defensiveness (both verbal and non-verbal) reminds me of his saying 2 years ago that people think his wife and child are PR stunts. And his statement, “This is a touchy issue for me” convinces me even more that his family is fake.

BC’s response to the interviewer reveals how the showmance has taken its toll on him, aging him well past his years. He lashes out like a trapped animal. He’s painted himself into a corner and the walls are closing in. This is so sad.

Anna: @i-luv-benny-c, you know how I usually don’t agree with you on anything? Well, today is not one of those days ;o)

Izzy: "I love that Ben has realised his shortcomings when it comes to providing convincing anecdotes about the pillows, so he seems to have taken a steep turn towards skipping discussing them altogether. Wise move!"-

Except hes already talked about his private life enough that its weird to suddenly act defensive that someone mentions it. He interrupts the interviewer to say he doesn't talk about his private life as they refer to something he had already said about it. Then he goes on to say they travel with him, which sure sounds like talking about something private to me. It would be one thing if he was responding to a particularly prying question but he seemed to get defensive at the mention of them. If he's going to get snippy now when people bring up the kids The Grinch promo is gonna be hella awkward.

Anna: He’s not gonna get snippy about people bringing up the pillows during The Grinch promo Izzy. In fact, I expect the pillows to be one of the selling points he’ll be using for the pitch. I’m sure they’ll be just like the bank notes during The Imitation Game promo ;o)

Mom Anon: See? I’m not online for the afternoon and something happens! Well, judging by the comments, the Skeptics are taking it with a grain of salt. Could indeed be anyone but it indeed reads like James means Ben. Ah well, the nans will love it!

Anna: I don’t know if it was you or me being offline for the day Mom Anon, but I’m tempted to go offline for an entire month for no particular reason to just see what’ll happen :P

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alliesweetsong · 6 years

Text

Peer Pressure Pt. 2

(Continued RP from Here)

“Remember that stress doesn't come from what's going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what's going on in your life.” -Andrew J. Bernstein (Warning long post, but worth it!)

Alyssa lifts a hand and offers a wave at the Rendorei “Evenin Allie. ‘Ow you ‘olding up?” she asks in a curious manner.

There it was again. The question that could be answered truthfully or lied about. Her mind races for a brief instant as she thinks about how to go about answering the question. “Well enough I suppose, a bit worried if I’m being honest. But before that, I thought I should warn you Gareth should be coming to see you about the engagement rings.” she says warmly. Remembering she is a jeweler she had discussed this Gareth and thought it would be neat to get the rings made by a friend.

Alyssa lifts an eyebrow. "Worried? What about?" The concerned look settles into an easy smile though. "Thanks f'the warnin'. I'll be ready t'do the work. More than 'appy to for the two o'you."

Allie smiles warmly and nods. It was nice to know she could give the younger ward some piece of mind. The woman had been through a decent amount herself recently and wanted to help ease some of her own stress if she could. “"I need to talk to you about Raen. What can you tell me about her? Any friends outside of myself, you or Damien? She isn't answering her comm, i sent her a letter and no response from either way. She moved out of her room in a haste and she quit and the pig and whistle..I am concerned for her safety Nobody has seen her since Damien was taken."

Alyssa sighs softly at that, settling back against the stonework and crossing her arms averting her hazel eyed gaze downwards. "Really? Fuck me I should've kept my 'ounds on 'er. I dropped everythin' once we found Damien. They tracked 'er as far as Raven 'ill. Can't much count me as a friend in this, if I was I'd 'ave done more. M'not the kind of friend she needs.”

Allie blinks in shock at the revelation that Alyssa knows someone that also knows Raen. "Does this friend have a name? I am starting my own investigation, I can't rest until I know she’s okay Alyssa.”

Allie bites her lip and shakes her head inhaling through her nose. She disliked the fact that someone thought they were not good enough. "Oh dear don't say that, she needs all the friends she can get. Any information you can give me helps. did you ever see her with anybody else? I know she did some drugs."

Alyssa maintains her posture on the stonework, lightly shifting her weight she looks at the Rendorei slowly She and I 'ave a mutual friend. 'e 'asn't seen 'er either though.”

From there the two went back and forth, Allie pushing hard for information and the Gilnean dancing around the question as delicately as humanly possible. Not getting the hint, Allie pushed and pushed. Her questions were deliberate if not a bit forced but also nearing desperation. There was a link, and she wanted to know who it was.

Alyssa thinks about it for a moment as a small twitch develops on the corner of her mouth "No." She offers finally. "F'both your sakes. F'everyone's. You'll just 'ave t'trust me on that."

Allie lightly recoils her head blinking in both shock and horror. Why is she denying her the name? "Alyssa, you can come with me to meet him if that is what you want. Nothing will happen, I just have some questions, please. Raen is a friend of mine. I need to know she’s okay."

“I 'ear you, and I agree. I want t'know she's okay too. Not the person you need.” Alyssa replies looking at Allie in a matter-of-fact manner.

Allie felt her heart plummet and her blood boiling, she didn’t have time for games. The high elf could be hurt, she could be getting tortured as they spoke. The very thought caused the rendorei to become nauseous.

Alyssa studies the woman across from her, smile fading a bit. “I know this is important t'you, y'can think what you want of me. M'not givin' the name."

“Open the fel wielder up, her secrets will spill on the floor”

"Yes this is important to me!” Allie says starting to raise her voice, the frustration was clearly evident. “She is one of the only people I have to connect with from home. and she is a friend. I would do the same for you or Damien." She says before rubbing her forehead and exhaling softly "You of all people should understand what it is like to miss home." Allie regretted saying that last part almost instantly, that was a cheap shot at the younger ward and she knew it. But she really needed the Gilnean to understand how serious she was even if it meant getting a demon summoned on her.

Alyssa glares daggers at the void elf. That clearly was the wrong thing to say. "That's low. My 'ome doesn't exist anymore. And I 'aven't got your thousand or whatever years t'see it rebuilt or reclaimed." she scowls

Allie bites her lip and puts one hand on her head and the other on her hip letting out a sigh "I am sorry Alyssa..that was wrong of me" she says before shaking her head "I will not stop until she’s found. You are both my friends. I just want to help her I am scared Alyssa. I can't lose anybody else.” she says softly lowering her voice

Alyssa runs fingers through her red hair trying to calm herself as well "Look. I can't give you the name. There are so so many reasons I can't. M'sorry. You will find 'er though, chasin' a dead end lead isn't goin' to make that 'appen."

Allie looks down absolutley heartbroken, never before had she had the feeling of complete and utter helplessness. Biting her lip the void elf nods and shrugs "Thanks Alyssa. Ill uh, keep looking. Gareth should be here tomorrow or tonight I am not sure." she says walking forward to give the woman a hug

The Gilnean embraces Allie in return, frustrated and a bit upset. "M'a disappointin' friend Allie. Don't 'ang your 'opes on me. M'always 'ere t'talk, but m'secrets run too deep f'most to deal with."

Allie lets go of the hug and cups the red heads cheek with her right hand lightly caressing it with her thumb "I have secrets to darling." she says before looking around as if she was about to do something. Refocusing she nods "Ill uh, see if I can find anything." she says softly

Surprised by such a familiar gesture, Alyssa nods remaining still has she looks into the elf’s skye blue eyes. "Allie. M'just not willin' t'pay the personal cost givin' you that information. M'sorry again."

Allie backs up as something about the way Alyssa worded that seemed off. Slightly tilting her head to the side the Rendorei folds her arms across the chest. “Is someone threatening to hurt you?” she asks in a curious but very serious manner.

Alyssa bites her lip hard, hard enough in fact that a red blossom can be seen as she carefully considers the question being asked of her. After a long pauses she finally shakes her head “No. Not like that.”

“Then what Alyssa? I promised Damien i would watch over you. What is going on?” Allie replies looking at the Gilnean in a pleading manner.

The statement gets a raised eyebrow from the redheaded warlock. "Did you? Gods below but that brother o'mine is protective. It's delicate. This is a situation I need t'andle m'self. M'not in any danger at the moment though."

Allie looks around and slowly stats backing up towards the door “Come, lets talk.” she says making sure they both weren’t being watch. Something seemed off and she intended to find out.

Alyssa frowns briefly and follows. Although she looked ready to protest she doesn’t and instead lets out a sigh and keeps pace with the Ren’dorei

Sitting down Allie gets comfortable and the two level with each other, Each one telling a dark secret that nobody would know, or could ever know. There was too much in both of their lives for these to ever see the light of day. Of course they debated, and argued, talked and finally argued some more. Each one wanting the same thing but wanted to go about it in different ways. Finally Allie blurts out a question that she think she already knew the answer to, the thought of causing her heart to jump out of her chest. As she began to listen to Alyssa explain her plans the rendorei began pacing around warlock in a focused manner.

"Damien told me there was one man, and one woman. and the woman was shot and killed.." she says looking at the back of Alyssa's head "The day after I came home, He told me the man said if he comes back he would kill everybody”

“'e won't 'ave the chance.” came the almost immediate reply back from Alyssa

Allie growls at that beginning to lose her cool. "Damnit Alyssa, if you know who did this we can protect you, what if Raen is already dead!?"

Alyssa stares at the elf in a stubborn fashion this entire conversation was beginning to become pointless. “ 'e's mine. I've already paid dearly, morally and emotionally t'get that. When I 'ave my 'ands on 'im, y'can be certain 'e'll tell me where Raen is” she says in a defiant manner

Allie shakes her head and bites her lip as she moves to pick up her belongings. “I just hope its not too late for her Alyssa.” she says as she heads to the door “Shadows Raen, where are you?” she asks looking up at the ceiling in an exasperated manner. Letting out a sigh she looks over her shoulder at the Gilnean “The day you do it, I want to be there. Let me have atleast that.” she says softly clearly upset at this point.

Alyssa bites her lip once more and looks at Allie “I’ll think about it.” she says softly.

That wasn’t good enough. Allie wanted to say more, to threaten her and to exploit her. To treat her as she had been treated off and on for the last several months. But to do so would mean to betray the warlocks trust, and their friendship and to abandon her promise to be loyal. Nodding instead, Allie grabs the doorknob “Have a good night dear, hope we talk soon.” she says before slowly opening the door. Walking out she could fel the tears falling down her cheek as she slowly closes the door with a soft click. She needed to get somewhere and just cry. Gareth couldn’t see her like that. Serelia, nobody. She had once again, failed someone she looked at as a friend.

Letting her feet carry her over the bridge thoughts raced through her head as she wipes her eyes

“Hello Mrs. Gareth Lyons.” Came the familiar voice of Sikona.

Stopping Allie inhales through her noise and forces the brightest smile she could on her face. “Hello Miss Emberlight.”

To be Continued...

@alyssa-ward @dardillien-ward @earendelduskmourn for mentions @thetobaccoman for vague mentions and relevance @sikonaluvs at the end <3

#Allie Sweetsong #Raens Arc #IC #WRA #rp #wow

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