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notafunkiller · 1 year

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love me like you paid me - co-written with @marvelouslizzie

Summary: You accompany businessman Bucky Barnes to all the events he has to attend, and you find yourself wishing he wasn’t paying you to be his date.

Pairing: businessman!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warnings: 18+, age gap (the reader is 24, Bucky is 34), teasing, dirty talk, pet names, daddy kink, fingering, nipples play, oral sex, clit play, no condom (but they are both clean and the reader is on birth control), cursing, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 11K

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: @marvelouslizzie and I had a great time writing this story, and we really hope you will, too, while reading it.

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

> I think I'll be late for a couple of minutes, I am very sorry. You can go inside, you just need to say your name.

You look at the text he sent you once again, to make sure you didn’t miss any details. The thought of going inside alone spikes up your anxiety even though you never met him before. Everything looks so fancy, and you are already feeling out of place.

So you decide to wait. It's better for appearances, anyway. You didn't properly establish the context of you being his plus-one before, and you don't want to make mistakes.

And it doesn't even take a long time. He arrives just five or six minutes later. You watch him get out of the car and look around before your eyes finally meet for the first time.

"I am so, so sorry for being late. But why are you standing here?" He says awkwardly looking at you from head to toe twice as he starts arranging his suit jacket.

“I thought it would be better if we go inside together. It wouldn't look too convincing if we came separately.”

He nods. "Smart. I'm sorry, I'm..." He pauses, unsure, and extends his hand. "You're very beautiful, thank you. I'm Bucky."

You offer him a smile while extending your hand and giving him your name. “Thank you. You’re looking very dapper yourself.”

He snorts. "Not thanks to me."

“Huh?” You raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"I meant my stylist." He explains, freeing your hand.

“Oh.” You feel awkward. You didn’t even think about that. “Yeah, but you are carrying it well.”

You see his cheeks getting red. "Thank you. Shall we go inside?"

“Yeah, of course.” You offer him your arm.

"I think I should be doing that." He does the same thing.

You feel so embarrassed for a second but take his arm anyway. “Sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“Don't be sorry." He gives the man at the entrance a smile before saying your names, and in no time, you are led to your table.

You take a look around, trying to be as subtle as possible. It’s even fancier than it seemed when you were waiting for him outside and people seem to know one another as they greet and talk to each other. You feel a faint pain in your stomach.

"You know… in case someone asks you, my three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas."

“What?” You feel so lost.

"My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas." He repeats this expired joke he read online at some point. "You know, eating my family and eating, my family."

You suddenly snort, not expecting him to make a joke like this.

"I guess you can smile, and what a beautiful smile you have." He pauses and scrunches his nose as soon as he finishes the phrase. "I don't mean to be you know... I am not trying to...."

“You are not trying to what?” You’re still smiling because of his dad joke, totally unaware of why he’s trying to explain himself.

"To make you uncomfortable or something. I just wanted to help you feel better. I am surprised, though. Usually, models feel a little less nervous."

“Model?” You repeat, visibly confused. “I’m… I’m not a model.” Did they tell him you were a model?

"Oh, it explains the height." He lets out a deep breath.

“The height?” You can’t believe he actually said that. Like your height isn’t good enough for his standards. Probably, you aren’t good enough for his standard since you aren’t a model.

"Oh god, no." He groans. "That sounded terrible. I meant, models usually are very tall and look... different. I told them I don't want a model, but my team didn't quite listen. That’s why I said that."

“So you aren’t the one who specifically wanted a model?”

"God, no." He shakes his head. "I actually chose you." He scrunches his nose again. "That sounds even more terrible."

“I know you chose me. How do you think they found a photo of me to send you?”

Bucky snorts. "I should shut up."

“No, no. I mean…” You lower your voice a little to make sure no one hears you. “I was aware of what this is when I said yes. It’s fine.”

"I am making a fool out of myself, I am sorry."

“No, you are not. It’s actually helping me to relax because I was really worried about…” You stop yourself right before saying something stupid.

"Did I seem intimidating?"

“Yeah.” You quickly accept it because his choice of words is much nicer than what you were originally thinking. You expected him to be a pretentious asshole. Instead, he seems like he’s just as nervous as you are.

He smiles. "What would you like to drink?"

“White wine is fine.” It seems like a safe choice.

"I love wine." He smiles. "And to be honest, it’s the only thing I drink at those events. Oh, and champagne, of course."

“That also works, but I can’t have too much.”

"Want to order food before?"

“No, not because of that. I have an early work meeting tomorrow.”

"Oh, we can leave earlier." He immediately offers. "I don't stick much around usually, anyway."

“That’s not necessary, we can stay as much as you want. I’m already prepared for my meeting. I just don’t want to seem unprofessional tomorrow by looking like I have a huge hangover. I kinda need it to go well.”

"What do you do if you're not a model?" He asks with a smile, genuinely curious to find out more information.

“I am running my own bakery.”

"That sounds so awesome. Family business?"

“No. I actually started it pretty recently. Still learning how to manage a business and get clients.” You suddenly stop, feeling self-conscious. “Sorry. That must sound really silly to you.”

"Silly?" He tries to tuck back a few strands of his hair as he looks at you. "I want to know more. If you want to share of course. Maybe I can even help. I know how hard it can be, especially when you don't have experience. Do you have a partner?"

“No.” You can’t help but smile because he seems genuinely interested. “I’m doing it by myself. Or rather trying.”

"Wow, that must be exhausting and challenging. Do you have employers? How new..." he stops mid-sentence when the waiter comes. "Can you bring us some white wine, please?"

"What kind?"

You watch him as he casually orders a specific brand, then his eyes meet yours again. You realize he’s actually waiting for your answer. “I have one person that works with me.”

"Paying a salary must be hard."

“Yeah, money is kinda tight.” That’s the whole reason you accepted being his date tonight: you want to be able to pay Nicole’s salary, but you don’t say that.

"I'm sorry." He sighs. "Maybe I can help, though." He thinks about a donation or something, but he doesn't even know you or your business.

“You already are. Don’t worry about it.”

The waiter returns with the wine, asking you if you want to taste it, but Bucky gives him a polite smile after looking at you. "Thank you, but no need."

The man nods and starts pouring slowly.

When you taste the wine, you understand why he specifically asked for this one. It leaves a really gentle after-taste on your tongue.

"Do you like it?" He asks nervously as he takes a sip himself.

“Very much. Probably the best wine I have ever tasted.”

"I am so glad to hear that. But did you eat anything before coming here?”

“Ihm… No.”

"Then we should order. Excuse me," he calls the waiter again with a hand gesture.

While he is ordering food, you find the perfect moment to stare at him. He’s speaking in a way that shows he belongs here. He is kind yet commanding. You focus on his face and watch a strand fall on his forehead. He doesn’t pay any attention to it, just gently pushing it back, but you find yourself taking a deeper breath. His lips are full, his smile is gentle and his eyes are curious. That’s when you notice he is actually talking to you.

"Do you have preferences?"

You shake your head. You have no idea what preference he is talking about, but even if you did you are sure you would have no idea what to order in a place like this.

"Do you trust me with this?"

“Yeah.” You quickly answer to cover the fact that you weren’t paying attention to his food choices. “Just no sea food, please.”

"Of course." He nods and turns his attention to the waiter again. "The same for her, please. Also a bottle of water."

It's already pretty late, and it's clear neither of you has much energy left, but you can't interrupt this conversation. You are trying to listen so you can be prepared if they ask you something.

"I agree, the market doesn't look good, but let's see if something changes once they apply the new policies," he says looking at both of you for a couple of seconds. "It's hard for new businesses, unfortunately."

You take a deep breath, knowing what he says is true and how it affects you. Still, you don’t comment on anything, just watching them.

Bucky leans in, laughing politely when the man cracks a bad joke, and you notice how a few hair strands fall on the side of his face and forehead.

Before your mind can register what you are doing, you find yourself leaning towards him and pushing the hair back. Then you notice what you’ve just done and freeze. Your hand lingers on his hair.

He freezes too, mid-sentence, and looks at your hand, his neck getting so red in just a few seconds.

"Oh, look at that. Your girlfriend is taking good care of you." The man in front of you teases.

“I’m sorry.” You try to retreat your hands as gracefully as possible so it won’t look suspicious. His hair is back in its place.

"Don't apologize." Bucky smiles, taking your hand into his. "She's always shy in public."

“I forgot for a second we are in public.” That’s not a lie. You really forgot your surroundings and how you were supposed to behave.

"What a beautiful girlfriend you have, Barnes."

You can feel your cheeks burning because of his words. You are not his girlfriend obviously, but will he point that out?

"She's also incredibly smart. You know, she started her own bakery a few months ago in this crazy market."

“Really?”

"Yes, with no help either. I'm really proud of her."

Did he just say he’s proud of you? Jesus christ…

“That doesn’t surprise me at all. You know why?” He’s directly asking you that question, and you just shake your head as in no. “Because he started his own company, probably around your age, too.”

"Michael..."

That you didn’t know. You had no idea how he got this rich, and hearing that makes you feel more hopeful.

“I’m just saying.” The man continues. “I can see why you like her. And she’s pretty lucky because she can get the best investment advice or tips on how to run a successful business from you.”

"Oh, trust me, I am luckier." He gives you the warmest smile you've ever received.

You have no idea what to say or do. Should you act like his girlfriend? Should you just smile and nod? That would be rude, wouldn’t it? You should return the compliment. You would definitely do that if he was your boyfriend.

“Oh, I know how lucky I am,” you say with a smile.

Bucky takes a quick look at his watch. "Alright, I think we need to go. Tomorrow is a long work day. Hope you don't mind." He shakes Michael's hand.

"It was nice to see you."

You are glad it’s finally time to leave. You were getting worried about how much longer you would have to stay here. Not because of him. Bucky seems like a perfectly nice guy, but this fancy place makes you uncomfortable. You gently smile while shaking Michael’s hand and take Bucky’s arm.

"Have a good evening. It was nice to meet you."

“It was nice meeting you too, Michael.”

"I'm sorry for that. Took too long," Bucky whispers in your ear.

“The event isn’t even over yet. We are leaving early.” He shouldn’t have to say sorry for something you agreed to do.

"Is it okay if we drive you home?" He gestures to his driver who's pulling in. You didn't even realize when he texted him.

“You don’t have to, I can take a cab.”

"At this hour?" He puffs. "Not in a thousand years. My driver can drop you off." Bucky offers instantly. It's clear he won't let this go.

“Only if it won’t be a bother…”

"Of course not." He gestures to his driver. "I want you to drop the lady off and make sure she gets inside safely, please. I'll take a cab."

“What?” You didn’t expect him to take a cab. “No, I can’t accept that.”

"Please. Also thank you for tonight, I am really grateful and I enjoyed having you here."

“Bucky…” You stop for a second, feeling hesitation over using his name. “Can I call you Bucky?”

"Of course."

“Bucky, thank you for tonight. I enjoyed it more than I expected. You are a gentleman, but I can’t take your car. I thought you meant dropping me at my place on your way home.”

"I thought..." he pauses. "You felt uncomfortable around me and that's why you refused the ride."

“No. Why would I feel uncomfortable around you?”

He smiles shyly and opens the door for you. "Alright, then let's go."

You really don’t know why he thought that and it bothers you. While you take your seat, you decide to apologize for what happened in there. Maybe that’s why he felt uneasy.

He looks absolutely confused when you actually say the words. "What?"

“I am just really sorry about what I did back there. I don’t know what came over me.”

"What did you do?”

“You know… Making you uncomfortable by fixing your hair.”

Bucky can't help but giggle softly. "Why would you apologize for that? That was very thoughtful, thanks."

His giggle catches you off guard. “I thought… I crossed a boundary.”

"No, not at all. Sorry for the boring conversations."

“It wasn’t that boring. I actually learned a couple of things.”

Bucky smiles. "Did you? Not surprised, you're a businesswoman after all."

“I try to be.” You smile back even though you are feeling kinda sad that your time with him is about to end.

"I think you have a big potential. You control your emotions very well. You are smart and know how to enjoy good wine." He gives you a playful but innocent wink as he says the last part.

“And now I know you, so I can ask for business advice.” You repeat Michael’s words very poorly.

Bucky nods. "Of course. And you know maybe I can help... with a donation."

“A donation?” You really didn’t mean to sound that offended, but you are.

He frowns. "Yeah, I really think you got potential in business and it's hard when no one helps you."

Talking about money always bothers you. Getting paid for going out with someone already feels wrong enough, but the way he walks about it makes you feel worse.

“Can we…. not… talk about this?” Your discomfort is much more clear in your voice than you realize.

"I-Of course, sorry if I bothered you," he immediately says apologetically.

“Talking about money like this bothers me and… just to be clear, I don’t want any help.”

"I understand. I wasn't trying to intrude."

You offer him a smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes.

"I'm really so-"

"Is this the right address?" The driver interrupts Bucky all of a sudden.

“Yeah, it is.” Your answer comes instantly.

"Perfect."

“Thank you…” You stop for a minute realizing you don’t know his name. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name before.”

"Noah."

“Thank you, Noah.” Then you turn to Bucky. “And thank you for tonight, Bucky.”

"Thank you." You give him one more smile before opening the door. "Wait."

“What?”

"Are you free on 18?"

“I… think so. Why?”

"I have a proposal for you."

As the 18th comes closer, you get more worried about what to wear. You used your fanciest dress at that event and now your options are pretty limited. You search your closet and try to think of a friend who would let you borrow a dress. That’s when you finally see that simple black dress. That might work. When you put it on, your feelings are conflicted, though. It looks good on you, but it doesn’t seem good enough. You are not completely sure about how fancy this event is. Maybe… maybe you can ask him.

< Hey. Sorry to bother you but how fancy is this event?

> Hey, no bother. Like the one we attended.

> Why?

< I’m not sure about my dress. Is it okay if I show it to you? I don’t wanna be underdressed.

> I am sure that's impossible but of course.

You send a mirror selfie, showing your dress.

>You look very beautiful.

>The dress is absolutely amazing too, but it's a black-tie event. Would you consider me disrespectful if I sent my stylist to you?

< Thank you.

< No, of course not. I need help. I would appreciate it.

> Gonna send Lila a message and then I'll give her your number if that's okay.

< That’s perfectly okay. Thank you and again sorry to bother you with something like this.

> You don't bother me.

> I mean it.

< I know you are busy. That’s what I meant.

> Well, I am sure you are very busy yourself.

> How is the bakery and how was the meeting?

< I’m done working for the day. So I get to worry about the dress I’m gonna wear.

< The meeting went well but I didn’t hear anything from them yet.

> I hope it was a full day.

> I mean with many clients.

> And I hope they will give you a call.

< It was a tiring day. How was yours?

> Tiring, but productive, thank you for asking.

> Lila will call you in two minutes. She's a nice person. She manages to make me look decent every time.

< You look more than decent and I don’t think it’s all her doing.

5 minutes later

< Talked to Lila. We go shopping tomorrow. Thanks again for the help.

> Don't thank me for that. My pleasure. Have a good evening.

< You too.

The next day, you meet Lila and go shopping together like you agreed. She seems like a fun person and definitely understands your style. Her suggestions are great. but the only problem is the cost When you notice the price tags, you want to leave, but she assures you that it is all taken care of. That’s when you realize Bucky Barnes is paying for this shopping trip. You feel dumb for not thinking about this while talking to him. That’s why he was guarded when he offered help. That usually restlessness creeps up on you because you don’t want his help like this, but Lila convinces you that he is the reason you need new dresses anyway. And it is true. He is dressing you so you look the part. That eases your anxiety and finally, you are able to enjoy your dress hunt. When you come back home, you are completely exhausted but ready for any event he might want to take you.

> Hi

> How are you?

< I’m good, getting ready. How are you?

> I am good too.

> I was wondering if you mind me picking you up...

< You wanna pick me up?

> Yes. I might need your address again, though.

< Noah doesn’t remember?

< I am picking you up.

Oh.

> You should say no if you don't want that.

< No, why wouldn’t I? I just didn’t think you would come without your driver for some reason.

> Do you want me to come with Noah?

> I can.

< I don’t need someone extra to feel comfortable around you, Bucky.

< It’s up to you. Whatever you wanna do, I will be fine with it.

> Perfect 🙂

> 7:30 or 8? We should totally skip half an hour.

> So boring

< That emoji makes me feel like I did something wrong and you are being kind.

< Both are fine by me.

> See you at 8 then 😁

> Since you hate the other emoji

< Oh this one is much better.

< See you at 8. Leave your overthinking hat at home.

You quickly send him your address.

> Thank you

The evening comes even quicker than you expected. He picks you up alone and you have a great conversation on your way to the event. He gives you some pointers about it and the people you will most likely have to talk to and warns you that it’s gonna be boring. And he is right. It is even more boring than the first one. A lot of speeches and conversations with people you don’t know. You try to stay composed and play your part, trying to hide the fact that you are bored as fuck. Bucky comes to your rescue with a fun game. He makes funny comments and on-point jokes before and/or after you talk to someone. His observation skills are extraordinary. He notices stuff that you wouldn’t normally remark. Like a missing wedding ring, so he knows not the mention their spouse during their conversation. He whispers into your ear and makes you laugh the whole night. Hearing his voice that close, and feeling his breath on your neck drives you crazy. Does he know the effect he has on you? Is he doing it on purpose or is he just trying to pass the time as pleasantly as possible? You don’t know. Just like the first event, you leave a little bit early. He drives you back home, offers you a warm smile, and mentions when the next event will take place. You just nod in agreement, already looking forward to it.

> Friends or The Office?

> Also hi

< The Office. Love how intentionally awkward it is.

< Hiii back.

> How are you?

> Let me guess who you like the most

> Is he tall?

< Yeah genius, it’s Jim.

< I’m good, how are you?

> I knew you have taste.

> I am good. Now even better.

< Why better?

< Also who else could I like? He’s the only sane person in that office.

> Because I talk to you.

> So true.

He’s feeling better because he’s talking to you. God, that makes your blood rush.

< I like talking to you, too.

< Okay I have a question. What do you think of Karen?

> Karen? Don't make me be a hater while texting.

> It would never end.

> You?

< You know the word hater? I’m impressed.

< I don’t like her either. She tried too hard to make things work.

> I am 34, not 304!

> I feel offended

< It’s so easy to tease you.

> She is boring and annoying. More annoying than that douchebag.

< You mean Roy?

> Yeah

> That punching scene though

< God, that guy is a walking red flag.

< Pam was truly blind.

> She was. Sad...

< Favorite season?

> Hard.

> Very hard.

> Maybe 4.

> Yours?

< Either 4 or 6.

> Tastee

< You are starting to sound like me

> Well, I am older, so it's the other way around

< Sure old man. Whatever you say

> Old but handsome, to quote you

< I can’t be held responsible for the things I say when I’m tipsy.

> Excusess

< Shh you are exposing me too much

As time passes, your conversations become friendlier. You don’t feel like this is something you have to do just to keep your business going. It feels like you two enjoy each other’s company. It feels like flirting. Yet you are not sure if that’s how he feels about all this, too.

> Hi. Are you home?

< Yeah?

> in a few minutes you might have a delivery

< A delivery?

< Bucky what did you buy this time?

> I can sense a tone

< Can you?

> A bratty tone.

> You'll see when it comes.

Just a few minutes later you open the door and see a huge bouquet of flowers.

< Jesus Bucky!

< These are so pretty!

< Thank youu.

> No complaining, huh?

> Glad you like them.

> I can complain if that’s what you want.

> I want you to be good and put them in a vase.

< They are already in a vase, sir.

You send a photo of the flowers in your prettiest vase.

> Great.

< I can’t stop smelling them.

> Noted

< I’ve got something to show you. Well two things because I can’t decide.

> Waiting

You send two mirror selfies in two different dresses. The first one is a black dress with a high slit on the right side. The other one is a simple pastel pink dress but the cleavage is on display a little.

< Which one should I wear for the next event?

> You think I am the right person to choose?

< I am your date, aren’t I?

> They both look great.

> Depends on what you want.

< That’s what I think too!

< And that’s why I can’t decide.

< Please help me out.

> Pink?

< Pink it is.

< Thank you.

What you didn't expect from this arrangement is how your attachment grows more and more every time you see Bucky. He makes it hard not to miss him with his smile and his jokes, the way he tries to integrate you and always asks how you feel. Truth be told, you're not even professional anymore and you catch yourself wanting to make a move on him every time he compliments you. But you can't, so you're forced to wait for him to do it. And you really hope he will.

You probably put too much faith in a rich person because when you see your notification from the banking app, you have to refrain from making a scene. You check twice just to be sure. For some reason, you are paid double the amount for this date and it’s not because he missed any previous payments. No, he just decided to pay you more the moment you started to grow closer.

When you look at him, he immediately catches something's wrong and leans in to whisper.

"What happened?"

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” Because you know if you do, your whole act will be exposed.

Bucky nods and looks at the rest of the table. "We're gonna head back home now. It was really nice to see you."

His reaction surprises you. You have the whole night ahead of us and he already paid you double. Why does he want to leave already?

"Of course. Have a good evening!"

“Oh, are you really leaving this early?” Someone else asks.

"Yes. We have plans for tomorrow pretty early in the morning."

“Ah! Too bad. Still, it was nice seeing you two.”

You both nod before you make your way to the door. You absently watch him asking for both of your coats and holding the door for you.

The way he’s acting like everything is fine infuriates you more. You really hoped something was going to happen between you two. It felt like you were headed in that direction, but you are not so sure anymore. Maybe he never saw it that way. Maybe he was thinking the worst of you and he’s just paying you more for everything he considers extra. It makes you feel nauseous.

"I should have made them change the plate… Do you have an allergic reaction?"

“Yeah, I am having an allergy reaction.” You lash out as soon as you feel safe to react. “An allergic reaction to you trying to buy everything.”

"What?" He looks at you so confused as if he didn't double paid you a moment ago.

“Tell me it’s just a mistake and you didn’t do it on purpose.”

"Do what? Pay you?"

Oh… He did it on purpose. And just like that the last hope you were hanging on vanishes.

“Yeah, pay me double just as we were getting closer. Is that all I am to you?”

"All you are to me?" He repeats shocked.

“Someone you can pay for whatever you want.” You don’t wait for an answer. You just keep going. “Of course, that’s all I am. What else can I be? It’s my fault for accepting this… deal. I put myself in this position. Why would you see me as someone other than a hooker.”

"Stop!" He screams back but not as loudly as you do. "What are you saying? What the actual fuck? When did I even imply that? Paying you double has nothing to do with disrespecting you! Contrary!"

“You don’t have to say it! The moment we started to get closer, you decided to pay me double. I don’t need to be Einstein to put 2 and 2 together.”

He scrunches his nose. "How about us getting closer and me wanting to help you, huh? Did that ever cross your mind? Me wanting to help you pay your debt faster, knowing the effort you make to accompany me to these," he gestures to the place behind you. "But no, of course, you didn't because you think the lowest of me. That I would believe I can buy you and your affection!"

“Help me?” He must be joking. “When I specifically told you I don’t want help!”

"I just don't want you to struggle. Is it so bad?" His voice is soft now while he stares at you, trying to show you he's entirely honest

“Have you ever stopped for a second and thought how getting help would make me feel? I’ll tell you. It makes me feel like a failure.”

"You're not a failure. And getting help doesn't make anything you did and do less important, especially since it's small. Please..." he sighs. "Let's continue talking in the car at least, it's freezing. You shouldn't get sick."

“Fine. I will get in, but this… this conversation is not over.” He’s right. It’s freezing and you can’t take it anymore.

He nods gratefully and opens the door for you, which you close with force.

As soon as he gets in the car and starts the engine, he turns on the ac, giving you a look. You keep taking deep breaths and avoid looking at him.

"Please... do you really think that low of me?"

"I don't know what to think anymore." You finally look back at him. "Are you gonna drive or are we gonna have this conversation here?"

"I don't want to drive you home upset. I want to talk about it..."

You stop for a second, consider your options. You can't have this conversation in a public place. "Your place or mine?"

Money is clearly not an issue for him so he probably didn't even blink to pay you double you realize as you get inside the house. You try not to look around too curiously. Your image in his eye is already as bad as it could get.

"How low do you think of me?" He repeats the same question while he starts to take off his shoes.

“I should be asking you that question.”

"You're the one who thinks I tried to buy you as a hooker."

“What were you trying to do then if not buying my affection? And don’t tell me helping!”

"To help."

“I don’t want help!” You don’t notice how loud you are. “I don’t want anyone’s help! I have to do this on my own. Is that so hard to understand?”

"Yes and no." He sighs. "I get this drive, I had it too, but I wish you could try to see... that you don't have to do this alone. But instead, you think I see you as someone buyable."

“Imagine when you started your business and had debt, someone had the means to help you, just give you money like it’s nothing and you don’t get to pay it back. Would you accept it? Would you think it’s your success if someone helped you out like that? Just be honest and answer.”

"Fuck no." He sighs. "But you deserve the money. And you put up with the events and your business..."

“Fuck no indeed. I want to do this myself. I have to prove myself I’m not a failure like my-” You stop yourself from finishing that sentence.

"What? Like what?"

“It doesn’t matter. I just need to prove that to myself, okay?”

"How could you think you are failing when you already did so much?

“As long as this business doesn’t succeed, whatever I’ve done so far does not matter. Only the result matters.” You don’t notice you are repeating your father’s words.

"That is bullshit. You think success is based on wins only?"

“It doesn’t feel like winning when you are worried about paying the next month's salaries.”

"That's a worry that honestly doesn't stop. Or at least not for me. Success means failure and worries sometimes. Success means trying and holding on."

“I’m not here to have a conversation about what you view as success, Bucky. I’m here because I’m mad at you.”

"You're mad at me, but you think I am an awful person." He starts taking off his jacket.

“I’m mad at you because you can’t pay me double just because you want to. That’s not how real life works.”

"Oh, really?" He smiles sarcastically. "I should totally give zero shits about you worrying about paying salaries and having student debt. Totally real-life fun stuff."

“Student debt? How do you even know about that?”

"You mentioned it."

“I don’t remember mentioning my student debt to you.”

He puffs, not breaking eye contact. "I have ears."

“You heard me mentioning my student debt and decided to pay me double?” He’s unbelievable.

"Yes."

“Do you have any idea how much you were paying me before?”

Bucky blushes embarrassed and strokes his beard. "No..."

“You were already paying me nearly a monthly salary. Just for going on a date with you once a week. Do you have any idea how it made me feel seeing that double payment in my account while I was hoping for…”

"Fuck, I want to say I am sorry, but I am not. I am not buying you, no matter how low you think of me. I want to help you. I thought we are already friends."

“Friends.” You give him a bitter smile. “Friends don’t pay each other.”

"Friends help each other." He is getting closer to you.

“Not without the other one asking for help.”

"You're impossible." He sighs. "You can pay me back at some point." He is so serious.

“Which point will that be?”

"Whenever you won't be worried about salaries."

“You said it yourself, that time never comes.”

"Please, doll." He closes his eyes, not even realizing what he said.

“Please what?”

"Can we just stop fighting?"

“We can if you stop paying me.”

"It's your money. You come with me every time. This event was more boring than usual... consider this a bonus for putting up with it and me."

“I don’t want- I don’t need that.”

"Why not? It's just for now." He seems upset. "Do you want nothing to do with me anymore?"

“I don’t need money to… enjoy my evening with you. I was actually hoping for you to… you know… stop paying me soon.”

"You want to end this?" He doesn't even try to hide his disappointment. His voice starts trembling.

“I want to end the payments.”

"So no more events..."

“I didn’t say that. I said I don’t want you to pay me for that anymore.”

"Oh." Bucky thinks a little. "You want to come to meet more people?"

“Dear god… You are so dense for a smart businessman sometimes!”

"You are calling me dumb."

“Yeah, because you are being dumb or just acting dumb, I don’t know anymore. You can call me if you want me to accompany you as your friend… or date, okay? It’s up to you now.” You reach for your stuff to leave his place.

"I just want to know why you'd find it so bad for me to pay you. Would you not pay me?"

“Don’t you really see the implication?”

"What implication? Tell me what you think."

“Would you pay me if we had sex?”

He freezes, completely taken aback. "What?"

“You heard what I said. Would you love me like you paid me, too?”

"You want to fuck me?" He asks unsure. As if he doesn’t know if he heard you right.

“Do you need things spelled out for you like this?”

"Do you mean it?"

“I have already said too much, Bucky. I think it’s better if I go.”

He grabs your hand when you turn toward the door. "I don't think you said enough."

“You want me to embarrass myself more?” He rolls his eyes. “I think I have made myself clear enough. Time for me to leave.”

"Come on." He smiles. "You didn't say anything."

You let a frustrated breath out. “Take care, Bucky.”

"Doll, please. You can't leave in the middle of a conversation like this!"

“Of course, I can leave. What else is there to talk about?”

"You asked if I'd pay you for sex."

“And I think I got my answer.”

"No, I would not pay you for sex."

“Because you didn’t even consider that option.”

He puffs, and you notice sweat drops on his neck. "Why did you even ask that? I already said I do not consider you buyable."

He is very close now, holding both of your hands and staring into your soul.

“Because that’s how I feel every time you pay me to spend time with you.”

"God, doll. You are really fucking impossible. You think I don't want to kiss you or fuck you? I think about it all the goddamn time if I let myself, but we had an arrangement..."

“And that’s why I wanna end the arrangement.”

"Done." His answer is instant.

“So you can take me out on a normal date, maybe.”

"Yeah?" He wraps his arms around your waist, making you drop both: your coat and bag. But you don’t look down even when they hit the floor.

“If you want…” You feel your voice suddenly getting smaller.

"May I kiss you?"

“Only if you aren’t gonna ask permission for everything.”

He snorts. "Just answer."

“You may.”

He does, moving a hand to your chin as he immediately tries to deepen the kiss. The way he kisses you takes you by surprise. You didn’t expect him to start this kiss so strongly, but you definitely aren’t complaining. His other hand goes from your waist to your ass, grabbing it over your pants. You gasp in surprise, which interrupts the kiss.

He smiles. "Hi."

“Hi.” You try to catch your breath while he starts to kiss down your neck without warning. Your right hand trails up from his neck to his hair as you let out a low moan.

"Fuck." He starts sucking on a spot below your collarbone.

“Jesus, Bucky…” You try to sound as normal as possible. “Take a girl out to dinner first.”

"You want dinner?"

“Well, not right now.”

"What do you want right now?"

“Just keep doing what you were doing.”

He kisses you so sloppily, his hands going under your shirt without realizing. You wrap your hands around his neck and close the remaining distance between your bodies.

"Fuck, you taste so good."

“Maybe it’s the lipstick.” You joke and without letting him answer, you start to kiss him again, immediately using your tongue. He moans in the middle of the kiss and then opens his mouth a little further, inviting you in. Your hands go to the buttons of his shirt.

"Oh, fuck."

“Can I take this off?” You ask for permission the way he did before.

"Please." He is breathing slowly, looking at your hands

You take your time unbuttoning the shirt, testing his patience.

"Doll, please." His mouth finds your neck.

“Please what?”

"Faster."

“That part comes later,” You say with a suggestive tone and he snorts, leaving another kiss on your neck.

"Left you a few pretty marks."

“Maybe I should give you some too.”

"Later." When you finally finish unbuttoning, he takes it off in a heartbeat. "Hope you won't hate me."

“For what?” He simply rips your shirt in half in response. “Bucky!” His hands grab your bra while you are still talking. “That was an expensive top!”

"Was." He just rips off the bra, too. "Just like this was on you. Past tense.”

"Do not!" You lift your finger. "Rip off anything else!"

He bites that finger without hesitation, sucking in it further. You try to take your finger back.

“Jesus Bucky, how am I gonna go back home now?”

"What? You want to go home?"

“I have to go home eventually, you know.”

"I have clothes, you know?" He starts to take off your belt. "Pants too." You can see he wants to get rid of them too.

“You want me to leave your house in your clothes?”

He kisses her. "What?"

You take a deep, annoyed breath. “Fine, I will worry about this later.”

"May I rip these too?"

“No. No more ripping, please.”

"Alright," he says disappointed but lets you take off your pants while he’s simply staring at your breasts.

“At least I have this to wear while going back home,” you say, swinging your underwear.

"You talk so much about leaving."

“Hmm, do I?”

"Yeah." He's obviously trying not to show he's upset, but he's failing. And this makes you happy… the fact he doesn’t want you to leave.

“Does it bother you?”

"No," he whispers and looks at his own pants. "I can just make you feel good, you know? No rush, then I'll drive you home as you want."

You reach for his pants and start to unbuckle it. “I have a mind that… keeps on worrying. I think about stuff I have to do later constantly, but there’s a way to turn it off. At least for a while.”

He tries to stop you. "I can make you feel good, drive you home and take you on a date tomorrow."

You finally understand what he actually means. “What? No. That’s not what I want.”

"Okay. Just wanted to make sure you understand we can stop like any time."

“Oh, I know. I just don’t want to.”

"Okay." He smiles and lets his hands fall down.

“I feel like you are tiptoeing around me. Where’s that Bucky I see at these boring events every week?”

"He's here, just trying to do everything right. But I don't know what you mean by that Bucky."

"I mean that Bucky who doesn't hesitate."

"This is different though. I don't want you to think I am a douche, you know?" He sighs. "I don't want you uncomfortable."

"Your hesitation gives me anxiety. And I know you by now. You don't need to worry about that." You push his pants down and they pool around his ankles. Impatiently, he takes off his boxers himself and steps out of them.

"Alright then. Should we move to the bedroom?"

But you are too busy to finally look at him, all naked, to hear him. He looks better than you anticipated and that makes you even more eager to touch him.

He tries not to smile, but it's hard.

“Uhm… what?”

"Nothing, nothing. Keep going."

“Okay.” You move closer and start kissing him again. You grab him gently yet firmly and start moving your hand slowly, just to get him used to the feeling.

"Fuck." He moans against your lips. "Feels good."

You gently bite his lower lip while you keep moving your hand. It’s still slow, but you pay attention to grab his balls and brush against the tip, just to see his reactions

"Doll..."

“Hmm?” You stop kissing him and look into his eyes as you decide to kneel down.

"Doll, no." He groans. "Fuck, I really dreamed about this, but let's go to bed."

“If you dreamed about it, why are you saying no?”

"Because we can do something else fun for you too."

“Oh, believe me, this is fun.” You take your tongue out, swiping it on the shaft from the bottom to the top, making him moan immediately. “Do you want me to stop?” You ask, your lower lip touching the tip. He doesn't even seem to hear you.

“Hmm…” And that’s your answer. You take the tip into your mouth, gently licking. "Oh, shit," He moans and without thinking he wraps his hand around your ponytail.

Your tongue swirls around the tip, occasionally swiping on that sensitive spot that makes him moan really loudly. "Holy fuck." He's fully playing with your hair now. "Baby, please..." He doesn't seem to know what he's begginh for though.

“Hmm?” You silently ask while your tongue keeps working on him.

"We should... stop."

You take your mouth off him for a second, just enough to ask: “Why?” Then you take him right back inside your mouth.

"I'm gonna come," he says a little embarrassed.

He might have wanted you to stop because of that, but you have no intention of doing it. You want him to feel good, so you grab the shaft, moving it up and down while you take your mouth off for a few more seconds.

“Then come.”

Your tongue goes back to the tip, moving in sync with your hand. He can't even ask you if he should pull out because he's already coming in your mouth. You keep moving your head and hand until he finally hisses because of overstimulation.

"Doll."

You look at him while swallowing. “Yeah?”

"Thank you so much, I'm just... fuck me," he groans at the sight in front of him. There is something absolutely sinful about you like this. "I am just really sensitive."

“That’s normal.” You kiss his cock really gently on a spot that wouldn’t cause any discomfort. He lets go of your hair and smiles. You quickly wipe away that line of come dripping down to your chin before he helps you stand up and kisses you hard. You are already unbelievably wet, but the way he uses his tongue takes it to another level. He lifts you in his arms when you least expect and a yelp leaves your lips.

"Gonna take you to the bedroom."

“Yeah, okay.” You wrap your legs around his torso, trying to hide your excitement.

"I'm gonna eat you, okay?" He opens the door with his leg.

The way he says it sends shivers down your spine. You can feel the throbbing between your legs.

"You want to ride my face, pretty doll? Or do you want me on my knees?"

“God…” You think for a second, both options being tempting. “On your knees.”

"You want me on my knees? Want me to beg to eat your pussy?"

“Would you?”

"Beg for it?" He puffs. "For you? Of course."

“Jesus fucking Christ…”

"Just Bucky." He puts you down on the bed and kneels. You laugh a little. His nervousness is definitely fading away. He smiles and starts kissing below your knee. "Please, can I eat you, baby?"

“Oh god… I wanna hear that again.”

"I am begging. Please, allow me." He kisses all the way up.

“It’s all yours.”

He makes the most animalistic sound you've heard from his mouth before and lifts both of your legs over his shoulders.

"Gonna let me do it over and over again?"

“I might wanna do different things in between, but yes…” That makes him smile.

"Thank you." Then he finally starts licking at your entrance.

The first moan you let out sounds like you are trying to catch your breath. Bucky's fingers dig into your thighs when he properly enters you with his tongue.

“Oh god...” That feels amazing. He says nothing, trying to move his tongue around for a little while testing what you like. You instinctively move your hips a little, forcing his tongue closer to your clit.

"Fuck." You barely hear him say as he properly moves his mouth to your clit.

“Yess!” You shake with excitement. Bucky starts to flick his tongue gently on your clit, bringing his hand to your entrance. You don’t realize how you are moving your hips to create more friction. And he adds the first finger inside you without stopping his tongue motion.

“Ahh, yes.” It sounds like you have been waiting for this forever. His free hand goes up just to squeeze and massage each breast as he adds his second finger.

“Bucky, fuck!” It feels like he’s everywhere. His flicks turn into full licks while his fingers move faster.

“I’m gonna- I’m gonna- come.” You can already feel your legs shaking. He continues the pace exactly like this and moans against your clit.

“Oh fuck. Oh fuckk. God, please- don’t stop. Please.” He doesn't stop, he couldn't even if he tried, eager to make you come.

After a few seconds, something snaps inside you and finally, you feel loose. Your whole body is shaking and you can’t get enough of the way he makes you feel. The movement of his tongue, the way his fingers move… And it doesn’t end quickly. No, he keeps going and you feel the same high over and over again until it’s too much to bear. You stop him by grabbing a handful of his hair.

“That was… incredible.” He smiles, raising his head enough for you to see how wet he is. “Jesus…” His beard is soaked. You had no idea you were that wet.

"Just Bucky." He repeats the same joke as he licks his lips.

“Your beard… it’s so wet.” You are too shocked to react to his joke.

"Wanna clean it for me?" He winks and god, he looks so charming.

“Come here.” You open your arms.

He hugs you immediately, his beard making contact directly with your breasts as he’s spreading your wetness all over them.

"Oops." He giggles. "Guess I have to clean up my mess."

You giggle, too. “You know you don’t need an excuse to suck my nipples, right?”

"What? This is not what I'm doing. I like to clean."

And just like that, you feel Bucky's tongue all over your tits, making sure to avoid your nipples.

“Hmm… That feels good.” He bites a little the skin on your left breast, and you whine in response.

"Hurting?"

“A little.”

"Sorry, baby." He sucks a little around the bite as an apology.

"It's fine. Come here and gimme a kiss."

"No." He gets stubborn and he finally takes the first nipple into his mouth.

You grab his hair and force him away from your nipple. "You are so stubborn."

"You like pulling my hair."

"I was thinking about pulling it for a long time."

"Why didn't you?"

"Well, I touched it instead of pulling. On our first date."

"Yes." He smiles giving you a small kiss. "Not enough."

“There’s no way I could pull your hair there, you know.”

"True. I would moan."

"You and me both." You giggle again.

"So you felt okay?"

"Okay?"

He smiles. "More than okay?"

"You have no idea how okay that was."

"Probably not. You get to feel pleasure in ways I never will."

"Poor you. We should totally try to change that."

He snorts. "You want to suck me again? Or do you want to fuck me?"

"I want you to fuck me."

"Yeah?" He kisses your cheeks. "That's easy."

"Yeah?" Your hips move a little, rubbing against his erection. "Then what are you waiting for?"

"Gonna be right back." He tries to get up, but you stop him.

"Condom?"

"Yep. Any preference?"

"Yeah, none if possible."

Bucky looks at you confused. "What?” He thinks maybe you meant the flavor. “I can find one without it."

"I meant no condom because I'm on the pill, so it's up to you."

"You sure?" You aren’t sure if he’s excited or surprised.

"Why wouldn't I be? As long as you are clean."

"Want me to bring my blood tests?"

You laugh a little because you know he means it and you couldn’t help but imagine him dutifully showing you the papers. "I will take your word for it, Mr. Barnes."

"Mr Barnes?" He repeats amused as he spreads your legs properly. "Are you gonna call me that when I come inside you, too?"

"Mr. Barnes sounds too formal for that. Gotta find something else for that moment."

He grabs and positions himself at your entrance. "I'm sure you're creative."

You push your hips impatiently. "I will find something fitting."

He enters you without waiting, but he's careful not to hurt you so he stops for a little. You throw your head back because of the way you feel with his cock inside you. A lower, nearly animalistic moan escapes your lips.

"Oh god."

"Please move."

He kisses you gently as he finally starts to thrust slowly. You are so wet that he's moving so smoothly, dragging your walls every time he pulls back and then filling you up all over again.

"Aren't you a wet little doll?" He shifts his weight on his elbows that he places on both sides of your head.

"I’m so unbelievably wet."

"Perfect." He buries his head into your neck and starts to move faster.

“I have been… imagining how… this would feel.”

"Did you dream about it?" He doesn’t miss the chance to ask that.

“Once.”

"Only once?" He tries not to sound disappointed, but he fails.

“Yeah, and I was surprised because I don’t dream about sex.”

"How?" He starts sucking harder.

“Ahh.” You moan softly. “During one of those fancy events.”

"Fuck." He lifts his head to look at you. "Did you dream of me fucking you in the closet? Or the baby changing room?"

“In a dark closet. Suddenly you are all over me.”

"Fucking you from behind? Or holding my baby?"

“You were holding me and- ahh. I was trying to- stay quiet. But- you kept fucking me- harder.” His hips move so fast now you can barely speak.

"Did you scream?"

“I was about to, but I woke up suddenly.”

"Fuck." He groans. "The worst. Did you finish the job?"

“Yeah.” You breathe out. “I was so fucking wet.”

"Just...." He closes his eyes. "I'm imagining you using your little fingers under your panties to play with your clit- Shit."

“And it wasn’t enough.”

"No? Poor baby." He leans in to bite your bottom lip for a few seconds.

“It was frustrating.” You moan when he moves his hips a little harder. “Nowhere near… this.”

"Nothing like my cock? Like us?"

“Nuh-huh.”

"God, can't wait to come inside you... to see you dripping."

“Shit, Bucky. You can’t just say things like that.” It makes you clench hard. You need to come. Now.

"Why not? So fucking hot." His thrusts slow down but become deeper at the same time. "Dripping down your thighs. Gonna clean that up for you and share it." He curses. "Gonna pass you my come in a kiss."

“Oh fuck.” His words, the image just pushes you over that edge. “I’m coming. Oh fuck, please don’t come. Not yet. Please.”

"Why not? Do you want me to pull out?" He teases.

“I need one more.” You say while shaking hard. “Just one more.”

"I'm right here," he whispers assuringly. “I'm inside you, not going anywhere. I dreamed about you too." He pauses to curse. "Fuck, I was fucking my bed."

“Tell me… tell me about it.” The orgasm keeps washing you in waves. Over and over again until it fades away.

"You were in my office at work. Came to talk about a gala or we were leaving from there, I don’t know. And we just... we were suddenly kissing and I was ripping off your dress. And I was simply fucking you all over the desk."

“How did it feel?”

"Not even close to this, but it was good. So good. I almost came in my sleep."

“You didn’t come?” You finally feel like your breath is going back to normal.

"I stroked myself after I woke up and came. A lot."

“Made a big mess because of me?”

"Mhm." He brings his fingers to your lips. "And you weren't there to help me."

“I’m here now.”

"Gonna help me this time?" His index finger plays with her bottom lip.

“Oh, I will.” You bite his finger gently. “And no mess this time. I’m here to take every drop of your come.”

"You sure you can?" He teases. "What if it's too much?"

“It’s all mine. I don’t care if it’s too much.”

"I'm all yours."

“Oh, Bucky.” You feel like you are melting. You kiss him on the lips passionately. “I’m all yours, too.”

"Yeah?" He smiles and starts thrusting faster. "Aren't you a pretty little doll? All mine, ready to take my come."

“Yours.” You repeat and that familiar pleasure starts to build up again, but you want to try something else. Something you have been imagining. “Can you… flip me over?”

"Sure," he answers a little surprised, and helps you move.

“I have been imagining how this would feel.”

"Thought you did it only once."

“You know dreaming and imagining are different things, right?” You tease him. You can’t see his expression, but you know he made a face right after hearing your words.

"How many times did you imagine it?'

“Oh, who knows? A lot of times.”

"Tell me what did you imagine when we were like this." He squeezes your hips, so turned on to see your on all fours.

“You fucking me hard.”

"How hard?" He teases leaning in to kiss your back.

“As hard as you can.”

As soon as he starts to properly thrust inside you, a few gasps and whimpers leave his mouth. The positions opens you up in a different way.

"God, this is... fuck me."

“Yeah, I would say- the same.” It’s hard to speak when he is pounding you like this.

"You're making such a mess on the bed, baby. Around my cock. God, so fucking wet."

“Should I apologize for the mess?” You ask cheekily because he seems so gone.

"You should." He squeezes your ass. "By making a bigger mess."

“I think- that’s- possible.”

"Yeah?" He fucks you even harder, properly using his knees and your hips. "You gonna come?"

“Yeah! Please!”

"Please what?"

“Please, daddy.” The words leave your lips before your mind can register them.

"Holy fuck, what did you just say?" He barely manages to keep going, just slowing down. He looks at you as if he doesn't know if he imagined something, and that's how you realize what you said.

“Shit! I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” You start to panic.

"Hey, baby." His voice is soft, assuring. "What are you sorry for?"

“I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I was just… thinking that.”

"God, baby." He tries to turn your head to look into your eyes by grabbing your chin and titling it up. "You think of me as your daddy?"

“Is it bad if I do?”

"Yeah, it's bad because I can come any second when you call me that." He kisses your forehead. "Be a good girl for daddy and try to come, okay?"

“God, Bucky.” You moan because of his words. You’ve imagine this, indeed, a lot of times, but hearing it? It’s something that can’t be described.

He pulls your hair. "Daddy."

“Oh, fuck.” It turns you on even more and you don’t know how that’s even possible. “Yes, daddy.”

"Did you imagine this, too?" He is leaving you breathless with the way he is pounding you, yet he still demands an answer. "Did you imagine calling me daddy while I fuck you like this?"

“Yes.” You are so close to coming. So close that you can taste it. “I did- so many times.”

One of his hands finds your right breast and sqeezes. "Please, come for daddy. Gonna be a good girl and come?"

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuuckk, I’m coming!” The way your orgasm hits you makes you lose the last drop of control you had over your body. You can’t think of anything beside Bucky and how good he’s making you feel. His pace quickens for a second before he comes. He doesn't manage to warn you he's coming too, but he doesn't have to. His moan and the feeling of his come are enough.

He keeps it going until both of you finish and when you do, the only thing that you can hear is your loud breaths. Then you feel a trail of kisses all over your back.

“Oh my god,” you finally manage to speak.

"Just Bucky." He reaches your neck. "Or daddy."

You laugh. “God, you are so smug.”

"Smug?" He smiles and pokes your skin with his tongue.

You turn around, finally fully facing him. “Yeah, daddy is real smug.” It feels so good to be able to call him that without worrying about anything else.

"Thank you."

“Who knew Bucky Barnes had a daddy kink?” You can’t help but say.

"Not Bucky Barnes himself." He snorts.

“You just found out?”

"Yeah." He burst into laughter a bit embarrassed. He’s never thought about being called daddy before, especially not in bed, but with you? With you, it just makes sense. It feels hot.

“Oh god, I am so lucky.”

"Did you always have a daddy kink?"

“I didn’t even know I had one before meeting you.”

Bucky's smile is so big. "Fuck, I am the lucky one." He kisses you properly now, immediately trying to open your mouth by licking your bottom lip.

��I thought I would freak you out, but look at you, fully embracing it.”

"How could I not?"

“You liked it that much, daddy?” You wrap your arms around his neck playfully.

"God, I did. You're so hot when you say it. And the way you looked at me."

“How did I look at you?”

"Can't even explain it... I just wanna see that over and over again.”

“Well, you can.”

He scrunches his nose in the most adorable way possible. "Thank you."

“For what?”

"For everything. And for wanting me."

You frown because of that last part. “What does that even mean?”

"Boring older man."

“Handsome older man, who I have been fantasizing about for a while.”

He giggles shily. "You make me sound like a dirty dream."

“Well, it’s because you are.”

"You are mine too."

“Lucky us.”

"You might never get rid off me." He kisses your forehead.

“I might be okay with that.”

It has been a while since you started to date Bucky. After that night, everything slowly started to fall into place. You found a great balance between your lives and your relationship, always making time for each other. You spend a lot of nights at his place. It doesn’t feel like his anymore, it feels like you are living together. Everything is so natural.

“I just got the most unexpected call ever,” you say, still feeling fairly surprised by the job you got offered.

"What was it about?" Bucky is still in bed, surprisingly. He's usually the first the get up and go to the kitchen in the morning.

“Mrs. Moore called me to ask me if my bakery could do the catering for their next event.”

"Oh my god. That’s amazing."

“It is! But I am not sure if I can actually do it.”

Bucky frowns and immediately taps on the bed. "Come here."

You listen to him and continue talking while moving closer. “I haven’t given her the final answer yet, I acted like I need to check in to see if we are available, but the more I think about it, the more I notice how hard it would be.”

"I am gonna say something, but I don't think you'll like it."

“You will say you can help me out.”

"Yep." He gives you the biggest smile. "But it doesn't take away anything from your success or your efforts, okay? Just hear me out."

You take a deep breath. “Okay. I’m listening.” You have been warming up to the idea of him helping you. Maybe not financially, but he has been helping you. He has the best ideas and a great perspective. So you won’t say no to hearing him out.

He reaches to hold your hand.

"Let me take care of the transport and hire the extra stuff who can serve at the party. I'll call a friend." He pauses. "Just this once, okay? You can curse me out later, bit let me help so you can get more jobs in the future. This is a great opportunity."

“How did you even know I needed help with transport?”

"Baby," Bucky giggles at your confused pouty face. "It's a first experience. You don't have employees for this and it's a big party." Then he shurgs, like it wasn’t that hard to guess.

“Transport, service staff, and extra place to store the food. These are the problems I need to solve if I wanna do this.” You list the things you need to be able to take this job.

"Is that a yes?"

“That’s an I am considering it.”

In response, he simply raises on his knees and kisses you, with his hands on your neck. "Good girl."

“I didn’t say yes yet!”

"Ihm."

“If you assume I will say yes, it’s definitely gonna be a no.”

"No, I am very, very, very fucking horny right now."

“Just because I might say yes to your offer for help?”

Bucky blushes. "It's very hot. And I'm so hard..."

“Jesus… You really want a sugar baby, don’t you?” He must have. He loves the idea of taking care of your every need. That would explain why.

"I just like doing this for you."

“Do you like being useful or do you like spoiling?” You insist. You want him to say it.

He makes a sound from the back of his throat. "Can we just focus on you?"

“No, please… Tell me why exactly this turns you on.”

"I don't know." You see the sides of his neck getting red.

“But I wanna know.”

"Please, just..."

“Gimme an answer and I will give you one back.”

He takes a deep breath but doesn't look at you. "I just love spoiling you even though you don't let me."

You smile. “I might let you a little bit.”

"Just..." He sighs embarrassed. "Just ignore me, okay?"

“This is me… saying yes.” You spell it out for him.

"For my help?" He finally looks at you.

“Yeah.”

"Wow.” He sounds completely surprised. “This is... great." He tries to keep his emotions under control. "Then go ahead and uhm, call Moore back as I send a few messages, okay?"

“She can wait a little bit longer.” You gently grab his erection. He has gotten really excited just because you let him help you. It’s just unbelievable yet you love it. You love that he cares about you this much. “I need to take care of daddy first.”

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kiwi-cult · 27 days

Text

PARSELSCRIPT!!

Hi. This is mostly for the people from Discord but tadah! I'm finally making that Tumblr post I've been talking about for months.

(Warning this will probably be very chaotic)

To anyone new who sees this: me and some friends made an alphabet for Parseltongue from Harry Potter, aka Parselscript. I'll take you on a little journey to explain my process and give you some tips, should you want to start writing it.

Disclaimer: I wanted to make this script usable for the writer I made it for so it's less of an actual language and more just some characters to represent the Latin (or ‘English’) letters. Like a cipher. It is not realistic. If I made this realistic I'd have to add all sorts of things to indicate body language and smell etc and also have to figure out what sounds Parseltongue actually has etcetera etcetera. No.

Alright.

It all started when we started talking about Parselscript in a Discord server and I asked my friend Ava to visualise the script because she seemed to have a clear vision of it, so I could use it to go from there.

That's how we got this.

I think we all wanted to go with something flowery for some reason, so we did.

After this I just messed around with brushes and shapes in Procreate for a while, tweaking things and trying to make it more writeable. I ended up with something like this (still a rough draft).

It may look a bit like random squiggles at first, and it kinda was at this point. As you can see there's also a lot of added dots and lines, which can be a bit hard to remember and I see you wondering what it looks like without them.

Well here it is.

I showed this to the people I brainstormed with in Discord and we decided to go with the more complicated version because it looks better lol.

This is one of the final versions.

It says: "Hello, my name is Kiwi Cult. I made this script after reading a fanfic called Terrible, But Great written by Isalise the loml on Archive Of Our Own."

Now, to talk about some of the (boring) logistics.

It is read from left to right, top to bottom.

Every separate combination of squiggles you see above is a separate word. Every word is made up of a starting character, one or more letter characters and an ending character.

The very first character you see in the top left corner, with the three petal looking thingies, is a silent starting character that indicates the start of a sentence. Not word: sentence. The end of the character, that little circle thingy, is a comma. So, the first combination says: "Hello,".

Then, the second combination starts with a kind of hook going down and right. This is also a silent character and more meant as an interpunction, that's why you don't pronounce it. It's kind of just a way to start the word when there isn't anything special about it (aka it's not the start of a sentence, a name, an exclamation or a question. But every character is special in its own right🥲). The same kind of hook can be found at the bottom of the combination, except going up. It has the same use, basically just a way to end the word when there isn't anything special about it. Now, you might ask: why does it go right and not left?

We talked about this a while, because I wanted the direction to have some kind of meaning. We wondered about gender, tone, blah blah all kinds of complicated things but in the end I just wanted this script to be writable so I chose to have proficient writers in Parseltongue make their hooks go left and beginners have their hooks go right.

Now, you might notice that I end my words with a hook going right. That is because I don't see myself as a pro in writing in Parselscript okay? It's hard!😭💀

Now, other than the character indicating the start of a sentence, the circle, and the simple hook, there are a few other characters to start or end a combination (don't worry I'll show them all to you at the end, you won't have to use your imagination for long).

We have a character to indicate a name. Now, the rule is: name indicator over start of sentence indicator. So, if you start a sentence with a name, you'll use the symbol to indicate a name, NOT BOTH. (That's not even possible but I don't even want to see you try and butcher my child).

There is a character to indicate a sentence that would usually be followed by an exclamation mark (!), but at the start of the sentence. Then you’d end the exclamated sentence with a period.

The same goes for a question mark (?): put it at the start of a question, not the end. Again, it wouldn't even be possible to use it at the end of a combination but I DON'T EVEN WANNA SEE YOU TRY.

Finally we have a period (.), which looks a bit like a flower with four petals. You do use this one at the end of a word, and it is always followed by a start of sentence indicator or a name indicator. I know people are rejecting capitals these days in their typing but I don't wanna see it. If you start a word after a period with a hook I will find you.

So, to put it all next to each other, the symbols we have are: -start of sentence indicator -name indicator -exclamation mark (!) -question mark (?) -period (.) -hook (direction depends on efficiency) -comma (,) (direction depends on efficiency)

I didn't make adjusted characters to indicate a capital letter like we do in the Latin alphabet, meaning that the only things you can kind of 'capitalise' are the start of a sentence and the start of a name.

It is also slightly phonetic. Emphasis on slightly. I made separate characters for almost all letters in the Latin alphabet, so you can just write your word normally with Parselscript characters. The only difference is that I made only one character for the 'f/v' sounds and that there is no 'c' character. If a word has a 'c' in it, you'll have to use the character for a 'k' or an 's'. Also a ‘q’ can be made with ‘k’ and ‘w’ etc.

A few examples: -character=karakter -parselscript=parselskript -crazy=krazy -science=siense

-quiz=kwuiz

I know it looks a bit confusing, but I trust you guys' ability to read context clues and figure out what someone means when you try to decipher Parselscript.

Now, for a word like 'phonetic' or 'decipher' I don't really care whether you use the separate characters for 'p' and 'h' or just the one for the 'f/v' sound. You do you.

I also don’t use any double letters because they basically sound the same and it looks ugly but if you want to use double symbols feel free.

I also made some numbers that do not look like they fit with the rest of the script but I promise you that's just because you're not used to it yet. Our own numbers don't belong with our alphabet either because we nicked them from the Arabs (I think, don't quote me on this) but we don’t notice that either.

Tadah. (Yes I know it’s out of order I told you this was gonna be chaotic af)

Other than that, feel free to ask me questions if I've forgotten anything or if you're wondering about anything. I can't guarantee that I have a good answer because I might not even have thought about it myself, but I can always try to come up with something. I am one person, I'm afraid I haven't been able to take everything about a script into consideration.

Now, without further ado; here is the key.

No, your eyes didn't deceive you: there are two versions. The first has a bit more loose squiggles than the second one. I realised that when I was writing physically, the second version was much nicer to write, so it is kind of like Simplified Parselscript. I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna put some lore behind it or not yet. But I included the og one if you're a tryhard and wanna take it on.

Now, if you're gonna start writing it yourself, here is the stroke order.

I tried to make it as clear as possible but please ask me if you're confused on anything.

Red is the starting point of the whole symbol, the arrows indicate the direction to go in, x marks the start of the small extra's.

Now, I'd also recommend writing on some type of paper with vertical lines like this if you're gonna do it physically.

You can just turn a paper with normal, horizontal lines a quarter to get vertical lines. Also, do NOT write in between the lines. They are meant to help you keep the start and ending on the same line so you don't start going into crazy directions while writing. So, start your sentence symbol or hook or whatever in the middle of the line and try to keep coming back to that vertical line after every letter. As you gain more proficiency you'll probably go straight into the next letter without going back to the line all the time but I think this is a good starting point.

I also recommend writing with a fountain pen or something else that flows well because it’s easier to write that way.

Here is another rough draft I made on physical paper to get a feel for it. As you can see this draft had a lot more different starting characters and ending characters so just ignore that. Hope this motivates you a bit or smth.

Lmk if you want me to post a video of me writing in this Parselscript.

Also please let me know if you know of someone else who's also made a Parselscript because I tried to look for it on Tumblr and Twitter etc but I couldn't find anything.

I also feel like there’s a big mistake I made that I realised the last time I worked on this script but I’ve forgotten it now so if you find out please comment or dm or anything💀

Also feel free to use in your own fic, tho a little tiny shoutout in the a/n would be nice :) I’m @/kiwi_cult on Ao3, @/slvtr_ on Wattpad, @/kiwi cult on ff.net, @/slvtr.1 on TikTok and @/.slvtr on Discord.

Credits:

@natis-balamnimaja @asterialvia and @/zee (who unfortunately left the server and I don't know the Tumblr @ of) for brainstorming with me and @isalisewrites for inspiring us and making the server we discussed this in.

Okay bye :) tell me if I forgot anything.

🥝

#fanfiction #isalise #parselscript #parseltongue #hogwarts #harry potter #language stuff #alphabet #script #tom riddle #worldbuilding #ao3

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monstax-info · 11 months

Text

230711 [MONSTAX_JH] From MX Update

to monbebe

hello my beloved monbebes Seems like this year was spent busily... It means that we're able to spend more and more time with monbebes, creating more memories right? Monbebes' positive smile and happiness, the many lights that you created... Myself who's filled with all the love monbebes sent to me during the time we spent together, is the same, full of happiness. The time I spent with the members and with monbebes for me is very precious and happy and I want to spend it more with you all only so that's why i only tell you about this now. Monbebes, I will be enlisting on July 24th.

Actually I thought a lot of when should I tell you. It's less time than I thought so even as I write this, I'm worried of how you might feel. Because of this worry, I thought about it a lot. Above everything, I hoped monbebes would have fun and smile happily watching me at fancon, I wanted to see that. And I wanted to give you that. That's why I came to tell you today. The time left is too short, and I'm still worried of this little time left upsetting monbebe, but in order to look at each one of monbebes' happy face, i still would tell you today even if i can turn back time... Enlisting is something i have to do so I will come back healthily! I'm not leaving forever so don't worry and, as you look at the sky everyday, think about of what i said and promise to think of Jooheon once a day!! Okay? Thanks to monbebes, i pulled out a great energy and when i listen to the voices as we sing together i feel free. And as I see my one step evolved self, the worry in the monologues i did myself is becoming happy. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for myself and our monbebes. Don't forget the sweat that we shed passionately and the days we spent together the same way, please remember them. I think I will be very sad if you forget about that... got it? I will come back and show you a cool side of me. As I've told you beofre, I think of this time as a our comma. I will think of this as the short comma time for a longer time together. I love you all day, I love you always, so in love with yourself. I really thank you for letting me know what love is*.

I love you monbebes.

from. Jooheon

*quoted By my side lyrics

translation by monstax-info

#230711 #monsta x #jooheon #era: reason #fancafe: jooheon

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airplanned · 1 year

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By popular demand:

Don't get me wrong, I'm really enjoying Tears of the Kingdom. Parts of it are fun in ways that I never felt during Breath of the Wild. And I really like the story itself, just not the execution of that story. And actually the storytelling is fine, but Breath of the Wild did some narrative things that I have been praising for years, so to have less than stellar storytelling in the sequel feels jarring.

I have three points.

Point 1: Amnesia and the Time Skip

In Breath of the Wild, Link begins the game with amnesia. Therefore, even though this is the country that Link grew up in and has explored, it's still understandable that he has no idea what kind of environment is going to be around the corner. You the player are able to discover the world along with Link.

Meanwhile there is also a 100 year time skip, which means most of the characters you meet have never met you before. (The characters you did meet in the past completely understand that you've been gone a while and have amnesia.) You start knowing no one and are able to build relationships from the beginning.

Tears of the Kingdom has something like a five to six year time skip. But instead of being in a comma during that time, Link was apparently up and about, helping to rebuild Hyrule. Link ought to know significant portions of what's going on, but the player does not. So we have our first disconnect between game play and story. It's hard to tell what's a new development since the upheaval and what has been an ongoing process that Link ought to know about.

This is muddled even further because Nintendo wants the game to be accessible to people who haven't played Breath of the Wild. They made the decision that instead of having all the NPCs greet you like an old friend (which all of the Zora do, so this is a thing that is possible), most NPCs will greet you as if you've never met before. So what am I the player supposed to know? What is Link supposed to know? It's unclear.

And as funny as it is to think that Link is like Tony Hawk and no one recognizes the Hero, or that Zelda drew so much attention that no one noticed Link standing behind her, it's strange to me because Link made friends with these people not as the Hero, but on a personal level. Link introduced couples. Link attended a wedding. Link helped a guy move out of his mom's house and start his own business. Link helped couples in rough times. These people should greet you with a, "Hey, Link!" even if they don't know that you're over a hundred years old and defeated the Calamity.

The theme of botw was isolation, so it made sense that Link started the game alone. The theme of Tears of the Kingdom is working together. So there's a disconnect, because instead of starting the game with a boatload of allies, Link begins the game having apparently lost a lot of the friends he made in the first game. Once again, he's isolated, which is not what the game play and the co-op fighting is implying.

Point 2: The Stated Objective

The story in botw was straight forward. At the very beginning of the game, Rhoam’s ghost tells you how that story ends: Zelda is using her powers to hold back the Calamity. Rhoam also gives you the game's objective: Defeat the Calamity. The memories that you collect fill in the story of Zelda’s struggles to activate her powers and her changing, growing relationship with Link. They deepen your understanding of where Link come from and what happened, but none of it is plot essential and none of it affects your objective. There’s no shocking twist. There’s nothing that would change the way you play the game (other than maybe not picking the silent princesses).

TotK on the other hand at the very beginning presents you with the objective: Find Zelda and solve the mystery of what happened to her. Learning what happened is not presented as some deepening of understanding, but as the point of the game. You don’t get the objective to defeat Ganondorf until much later on.

There are several story threads working at the same time, all of which lead you to where Zelda is. The hyroglyphs tell you what happened and where she is. One of the sage quests tells you what happened and strongly hints where she is. The Deku Tree strongly suggests what happened and where she is. You know where she is. You know what happened.

And you cannot tell any of your allies.

There are other characters who are “helping” to solve this mystery. With the theme of working with other people, it would make sense that I would share my breakthrough findings with them and we would work together towards the next step. I’m thinking specifically if Purah (who explicitly tells you to search for Zelda by doing X even after you know where she is and that that while it would be nice to get another sage, it won’t solve the "find Zelda" problem) and Paya (who won’t let me into the floating ring even though she’s clearly working with bad information), and to a lesser extent the sages (Looking pointedly at Yunobo, who has apparently usurped my himbo throne???).

Even if you've done all three of these quests, the game play treats you as if you don’t have this information. It’s frustrating in a game that advertises itself as open play where you can do anything in any order. It’s another disconnect when achieving what is expressly stated as the goal of the game is not acknowledged within the game.

Part 3: Lack of if-else statements

Honestly, this is the thing that pushed me over the edge into writing this.

I went and helped the monster squad with a mission. We killed some monsters. It was a great time. Side adventure achieved!

At the end, the team leader pulled me aside and said that he noticed that I didn't have my legendary sword. In fact, my equipment looked less than legendary. Har har.

...My good sir, not only do I have the Master Sword, but I am holding it in my hand, and I used it to defeat the monsters we just fought. Maybe you don’t recognize it because I have fused a dragon part to it.

Why is there no if-else statement coded into this event to prevent this from happening? There were if-else statements in the dialogue in botw when people talked about the sword. They responded differently if I had it. Elsewhere in totk, there are elaborate conditionals about the weather. Having the Master Sword is kind of a major plot point. But the game is uninterested in if I have done the plot, even while directly addressing that plot point.

Again, it's fine. Just disappointing after botw worked so well.

#Zelda #totk #botw

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wannabelife · 9 months

Text

semicolon – ksy

pairing: hoshi × afab reader

genre: smut

synopsis: "stop acting as my boyfriend" "but then what's the fun in that?" (not original but a cliche that works right?)

warnings: fwb, jealousy, pinning, teasing, college au, kinda unhealthy, penetration, oral(f), workship, reader is kinda of a dick towards the end, lots of cum, slow

"stop acting as if you were my boyfriend"

"but then what's the fun in that?" he asks, playing a smirk on his lips that you hate to admit drives you crazy.

you know that is just the teasing you like to have in your relationship, but both of you never know if that's really just teasing or something else; and you will never know either, because you never talk about it. it is like your relationship stands in a semicolon, more to be just a comma and less than a point before something different.

"you come here in just a tiny skirt to see my friends and think i wont claim you"

"you dont own me, soonyoung"

"i know" he press your waist harder, coming closer to your ear "such a shame, isnt it?"

you had come to his dorm to leave his charger he forgot with you, you actually didn't know he had his friends over. jun is one of his friends and also someone who does some share classes with you. it's not a secret for both of you and soonyoung, that jun has a little crush on you.

the thing is that jun came to talk to you about the quiz you have next week, and you ended up staying more than planned. soonyoung hates that you two chatting and laughing together annoys him so much. he had to control his manners a lot while talking to wonwoo and woozi. not only because, technically, you two have nothing serious but also because no one actually knows you've been hooking up.

jun is back to his friends, getting things ready to play some online game as you approach them.

"okay, im leaving" you announce.

right after that, you feel someone get your wrist and pull you close, you stamble a bit and fall sit, only when you're already on soonyoung's lap that it hits you. what is he doing?

"oh no, stay over. i need to talk to you about something" soonyoung speaks up and you cant help the frown that appears in your face.

the boys are just as confused. and now that you realize, they are here and watching. you try to break from soonyoung's body, but he just presses your waist harder, hooking his hand under the pocket of your jeans.

"what's that?" you ask.

"just something about our class"

"but we dont have classes together this semester" you are still frowning and trying to understand this whole situation.

"what are you talking about? of course we do" he throws back at you in no time.

"are u sure because i looked at—"

"we do. the boys are already leaving" he cuts you off, and everybody else is just as lost as you because they were just about to start the game.

anyways, they did as soonyoung said and left. and that's how you two ended up here now.

"you like when i wear skirts" you say angling your head to the side while looking at him playing innocent, fighting the smirk that wants to appear on your lips.

he has you pressed at his dorm wall right next to the door where he sent his friends off.

"you right, i do" he burries his face on the crotch of your neck, leaving wet kisses there. he nibbles at your ear, whispering "maybe i should cum all over it to let everyone know im the only one who gets to see what's underneath it"

you gasp at his words, and he takes the hint to start kissing you. he cages you between the wall and his body, his mouth on yours and suddenly the room is too hot.

soonyoung brings your thighs up, taking you in his arms as you cross your legs around his waist "is this ok?" he makes sure and you nod.

having the green light, he walks with you in his arms to his bed, laying your body on the mattress. as you are laid down, he keeps eye contact while sliding his shirt up off his body, undoing his belt to take off his shorts right after it. you are hypnotized by him, his dick giving volume to his boxers.

he goes slowly to you, resting his hand on your leg before opening them up for him. your breath gets stuck in your throat when you see him sitting in between your thighs.

"can i take this off?" he asks his hand on the skirt you are wearing.

"yeah"

"but i dont want to" he goes closer to you, yanking your shirt up a little "what about this?" he asks playing with the material.

"yes, soonyoung. you can take it all off" you say already impatient for him to do something.

he pushes your shirt up and you help him undoing your bra taking it off too "fuck..." he lets it out looking at your hard nipples on full display to him "you are so beautiful"

"soonyoung... touch me" you whine, he smirking at your greediness for him.

he finally listens to you and go for a kiss, his hand making its way to cup your breast. you moan at the sudden motion, opening space for him to enter with his tongue, deepening the kiss. when he's done with one side, he goes to the other side, slightly pinching your nipple making you whimper in his mouth.

he continues, trailing wet kisses at your neck, sucking here and there, your panties starting to stick to your core. he keeps going, kissing down the valley between your breasts. you arch your back trying to get your cunt closer to his cock, as you moan, begging for more contact.

"you sound beautiful" he lets you know, getting your right nipple in his mouth, sucking the flesh. you tug his hair as he's moving to the other one, caressing his teeth around it, your eyes rolling back at the feeling.

when he is satisfied, your breast glistening with his saliva, he goes further down. trailing kisses down your belly until he places a kiss to your clothed core. you whimper needing more but he's taking his time.

he looks up, admiring your figure, your nipples hard, a wet spot on your panties, your eyes closed, collarbone and neck exposed to him with the red marks he left earlier.

"my god, you're heaven sent" he grunts slightly feeling his cock twitching on his underwear. his sweet words hitting you as you clench around nothing.

he dives right back in, taking your panties in between his teeth, pushing them down your legs off of you with his lips, finishing up with the help of his hands.

he kisses your inner thighs, sucking the right one, going to the left side afterwards, giving the same attention. he pecks right above your clit, not reaching where you want him yet.

"sonnie, please" you whine, eyes going shut and brows connecting in frustration.

soonyoung smirks at your desesparate figure, he didn't even have to make you say it, you're already begging. so needy, he thinks.

he licks a long strip of your cunt, down up to your clit, finishing sucking the flesh. you wince at that as he does it one more time. he teases your entrance, tasting your juices on his tongue.

focusing on your clit, he is back up, circling slowly the muscle before picking up his pace. you whine begging for more of him.

he hears you and adds a finger inside. your hands gripping at his hair, making him grunt on your pussy. he works his fingers inside you as he sucks your clit, the build right there on your lower tummy. as he greases his teeth on your clit, curling up his fingers inside you, you clench nonstop as you cum.

he slides his fingers off of you, and you whine at the loss. he replace it with his tongue to clean you up, moaning at the taste of your cum.

when he's done, he goes above you again. you two connect your mouths in a heated kiss, and you wince feeling your taste on his tongue. you start taking his boxers off, wanting it to be gone.

"you are just so impatient, arent you?" stopping the kiss, he smirks at you.

"quit it, soonyoung. i need you to fuck me" you say quite desesparate.

"i thought we had nothing to talk about" he provokes and you roll your eyes at him "don't do that, you're going to regret" he presses.

"stop talking" you reply, taking your hands down to get his length around your hands. he hinces when you were about to start stroking him.

he takes your wrist making you stop "is that right?" as he says, you angle your head to the side, looking at him with questionable eyes.

he goes closer to you, searching your eyes with his. he places a kiss on the top of your nose and smiles at you. you melt for him, and before you realize, he is hugging your waist, flipping you over. you yelp, your face hitting the mattress.

he gets your ass up by your waist, getting you closer, you can feel his hard cock pocking your asscheek as you swallow dry. your skirt still on display for him "should i keep my promise?"

he starts caressing your ass, slowly taking his length out his boxers with his free hand. you feel his naked skin on yours, so you open your legs, giving more access to him. he eyes your wet cunt on full display for him, the view making him gasp behind you. he plays his fingers up and down your slick, collecting some of your juices.

"please..." you beg needing him inside you.

he ignores you for now, collecting some more of your arousal with his fingers, bringing them up to his lips right after. he sucks them dry, humming at the taste.

attending you, he takes his cock by the base and aligns it with your entrance. you both breathe heavy at the contact as he slides in. the warmth of your pussy hugging his length just right. he throws his head back in pleasure, a low moan leaving his lips as he bottoms out. he gives you time to ajust, you clenching around him, making it hard to wait.

"ready?" he asks, and you push your ass slightly trusting on him, giving the green light.

he starts thrusting on you, the wet noises filling the room as he peaks up his pace. getting both of your hands entralaced with his fingers, he places it on your back as he keeps thrusting.

you close your eyes, feeling how good he feels, your face burried on the pillow as you moan. when you think it can't get better, he lays his body down. his sweaty upper body on your back, his face right above your shoulders. you can feel his hot breath on your skin.

he hands your waist with eagerness that will probably leave red marks afterwards, but you dont care as long as he keeps thrusting hard inside you. you can't help but bite the pillow to silence your loud moans.

"i wanna hear you, yn" he sounds out of breath, setting a peck to your exposed shoulder.

"soony- aah- fuck, you feel so good"

"shit" his cock twitches inside you, and he takes it off making you whine "look at me" he flips you over again, so easily like you weight nothing. your hair messy, plump lips and rosy cheeks. he looks at your wasted form above him and your heavy breathing.

he aligns his length with your entrance again, back at thrusting at you. he looks at your nipples and exposed collarbone, where he goes down to leave a love bite, making you whimper. he peaks up the pace again as you moan his name.

"you know what, maybe i shouldn't have sent my friends off" he gets his face close to yours, whispering to you, your lips almost touching "i'd love to make junhui hear you moaning my name and know he doesn't have a chance"

you clench around him because of his dirty mouth, hating that you like it.

he smirks on your skin "you love it when i say things like that, dont you?"

he goes back up, taking one of your legs on his hand, putting it up to his shoulders, his head cock reaching the sweet spot inside you, making you mewl at the contact. he ajusts himself, hitting your spot repeatedly as he thrusts, the new position reaching more of you. you feel your high building again, he presses his hand on your lower belly, and you swear you see stars.

he keeps his eyes on yours, you fighting the urgo to close yours, tears gathering around it as the feeling starts to get too much.

"fuck... i- a- aaah- am- cum- ming" you were able to slur it out as your legs shake and you are cumming around him.

he doesn't ease on you, keeping the same pace riding your orgasm. your nails digging at his arm trying to find balance as he twitches inside you.

he takes it off on time, cumming all over your skirt and tummy, some of it hitting your breast. he lets it go with a low moan, eyes closed, and his head down hidden by his sweaty hair.

you are both catching your breath when he slides his tonge all over your naked body, cleaning his cum before it dries on you. you moan feeling like you could be wet again just by this.

after being done, he hugs you in his arm, laying beside you on the bed "you are perfect" he says, burying his face on your neck.

"i bet junhui thinks it too" you try to joke but he freezes, you feel his body getting stiff behind you "oh- i didnt mean it. im so-"

"shut up or im making you sleep outside"

he tries to ease the situation, but you can still feel the thick air formed around you. why are you two always like this? could you possibly be hurting him? is there a reason for him to be hurt? he would say it if that's the case, wouldn't he? maybe that's not a semicolon your relationship is standing on, but a question mark.

#yn #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfic #bts fanfic #svt smut #hoshi #kwon soonyoung #soonyoung x reader #hoshi smut #hoshi seventeen #hoshi scenarios #seventeen soonyoung #soonyoung scenarios

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swaps55 · 1 month

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I have never heard of an epithet before! What does it mean?

This is a great question! You have probably seen many of them, and just not heard them referred to as epithets.

An epithet is more or less a descriptive word or phrase that stands in the place of a name or a pronoun, such as, “the taller man,” or “the brown-haired woman.” In my experience, fanfic writers in particular tend to latch onto them, especially when trying to create variety in scenes with two characters who share the same pronouns.

I’ll put my thoughts on them under the cut, because I have Opinions on epithets, but I am not An Authority. I’m not your mom. I’m not here to tell you what to do or how to write, and I’m not here to ruin your fun, but we all have the hills we’ll die on and this one is mine. If you are a fan of epithets, just give this post an eyeroll or the finger and scroll on. If you want to know more about epithets and why I think writers can and should avoid them, read on!

Let me get this out of my system: I loathe epithets. Do whatever you want with your oxford comma, but take your epithets out back and shoot them.

Okay, now that’s out of the way, I’ll be a little more constructive about the purpose epithets serve and why I think they are so frequently used poorly.

In my experience, they’re often used as a tool to avoid pronoun confusion, but it’s an inelegant tool that can become a crutch. You have two characters of the same gender in a scene, you have already used their names in a sentence, but the pronoun antecedent is unclear unless you name the character again. You don’t want to do that because it feels repetitive, so you pick out a physical quality and use that instead. Problem solved! Except instead of solve the problem, you’ve potentially introduced new ones.

Nuance is important, and to talk tools we should be using the same toolbox, so for the sake of this argument I’m going to assume we’re talking about 3rd person limited POV, because that’s what I generally see, read, and write the most of.

Chances are very high that the descriptor you chose for your epithet derived from you the writer’s perception of the character being described and not the POV character. This is important, because if you are writing in 3rd person limited, the way you describe other people is how the POV character sees the person being described.

Now tell me. Have you ever thought of a close friend, a lover, or someone whose name you know as, “the taller woman,” or “the dark-haired man?” Have you ever thought about YOURSELF in these terms? Probably not. I have never looked at my Real Life Romance Option and thought of him as “the brown-eyed man” or “the taller man.” I’ve also quite frankly never consciously thought of him as “my lover.” Is he all of those things? Yes. But from my POV, those are never descriptors I would use for him. Once you know a person’s name, they tend to become Their Name and not ‘Random Characteristic” in your mental picture of them.

So when you default to Random Characteristic, it’s usually the writer talking, not the character. And chances are high that the characteristic you choose to represent is not something that is important to the POV character or the scene in that moment. Therefore, is it significant enough to the reader that it clearly identifies the character, or does the reader now have to stop and think, ‘wait, which one is taller?’ So instead of eliminate confusion, you may have actually introduced more of it.

And even if it is an important detail, stating it as a fact is generally a lot less effective than making it part of the character work being done in the scene. For example:

“Can you help me reach this?” Jed asks the taller man. Leo stops chopping vegetables to oblige, and snags the wine glass the shorter man couldn’t reach off the shelf.

Vs.

Jed sighs as he makes another futile swipe with his fingers and barely grazes the bottom of the shelf. He looks over at Leo, blissfully chopping vegetables in a world where stepstools are for other people. “Can you help me reach this?” Leo sets the knife down and looms behind him, effortlessly snagging the wine glass and handing it to Jed with a grin.

Hopefully, the second example feels more impactful than the first, because the height difference became part of the scene, and not just a descriptor cosplaying as a pronoun.

Epithets become even more distracting when they become part of a prose style rather than just a means to avoid pronoun confusion or name repetition. I see a lot of writers make the stylistic choice to have a POV character refer to themselves as an epithet right alongside the epithets being thrown around for other characters, and there are so many crammed into a paragraph or two I can’t figure out who is doing what.

At best, epithets are distracting. At their worst, they’re actively confusing when their purpose is to do the opposite.

“But Swaps, if I don’t use an epithet, how do I avoid pronoun confusion without wanting to throw myself out a window?”

This is a problem every writer contends with, whether you’re writing same gender smut, combat, or just have two people of the same gender doing things in a scene together. And unfortunately, this is one of those ways in which writing is hard. When you have some pronoun confusion in a sentence you can’t wriggle your way out of, the answer is probably to try a different sentence. Break the sentence up. Structure it differently. Finding the better sentence is part of becoming a better writer.

If repetition is what you’re concerned about, know that just saying a character’s name and using their pronoun is okay. It’s like ‘said.’ ‘Said’ isn’t a trendy word that goes in and out of style. It’s a building block word that blends into the background. Can you get fancier than ‘said?’ Sure! But do it with purpose. Don’t be afraid to use a character’s name. It’s their name. It’s what you’re supposed to call them. Why are we fighting so hard to respect people’s names and pronouns if all we’re going to do is replace them with epithets? (Kidding. Mostly.) And if you’re using their name so much it’s interfering with readability…it’s probably time to revisit a few of those sentences and figure out what the better sentence is.

When can you use an epithet?

I joke that there are no exceptions to my There Are No Good Epithets stance, but there are. Sort of. Because rules are made to be broken, though I do believe you should understand why the rule exists before you break it, and you should break it with purpose.

Here’s the easy one.

Epithets are useful when the POV character doesn’t know a character’s name. Now you have to use something else! And here’s the great thing about that: the epithet is now a vehicle for characterization. What about this stranger stands out enough to get the POV character’s attention? Do they notice a physical characteristic? Clothes? Attitude? What does the thing they notice say about the POV character and the character being observed?

For instance, my POV character is eavesdropping on a conversation between two people in a restaurant. You could grab the low hanging fruit and describe them as, “the brunet woman” and the “older man.” Or you could make your scene work harder. “The man with the punchable face,” or “the woman who makes eye rolling an art form.” Or how about, “the woman wearing fake pearls,” shorthanded to Fake Pearls Woman, and “the man with the name-brand suit that’s seen better days,” shorthanded to Shabby Suit. Now you’ve said something about the characters that place them in a more useful context than their hair color – you’ve said something about them that helps inform the scene, and how your POV character observes the world around them.

Are there other instances where you can effectively use an epithet? Yes, if you are using them like this: with narrative purpose. And in those cases, is it really just an epithet anymore? It is in that yes, it is a descriptor taking the place of a name or pronoun, but it’s doing a lot more heavy lifting now. Maybe you have a character who chronically can’t remember or can’t be assed to remember people’s names. The epithet is now a means of characterization. Maybe you have a Jekyll and Hyde style character, in which a descriptor of those different personas becomes a means of setting a scene or crafting their relationship with the POV character. These descriptors are narrative vehicles being used with intention. “The other man,” is rarely a tool being used with any real intention. If there is an instance of it, I have never seen it.

Now, if reading this makes you second guess your own work, or to feel like you write wrong, or if the thought of going to painstaking lengths to rewire sentences you would typically use an epithet in gives you hives, there’s an easy solution: forget about this post.

Because fanfic is supposed to be fun. It’s your hobby. You are not getting paid for it. You don’t have to use a specific writing style, or meet anyone else’s expectations. That’s part of what makes fanfic such a beautiful thing. You can do whatever makes you happy. Not me, not anyone else. If you fucking love using epithets, use them. If you think I am made of bullshit, give this post the finger like I initially suggested and write five epithets just to spite me. No one will stop you, certainly not me. Though I will continue hating epithets, because you can’t stop me, either. XD

#swaps replies #Anonymous #how writing is written

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idlerin · 1 year

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nonsense — bonus: unsent letter #1

[n/n],

i know i don’t deserve to call you that anymore, but it’s one of the only things i can keep doing to feel as if i was still close to you. as if you were still my [n/n], my [name].

i don’t deserve you. i know and it’s pathetic, it’s all my fault. i don’t deserve the time, the effort and the love you gave me. it’s cowardly, the way i’m writing a letter that you would never be able to read anyways. again, i am a coward, and an asshole, and a jerk and admitting all that will not make my mistakes any lighter.

i thought of you today again— while i was in a meeting with these directors and producers and it was all so surreal working on bigger projects that i couldn’t help but think about that time when we drove off to that picnic grove when you held my hand and you said one day i would get everything that i ever dreamed of because i was one of “those people” and that it was only natural, and i only laughed and kissed your cheek because at that time you looked so irrationally cute and i was convinced you’d be here to see these goals of mine come true, but now, without you to celebrate these things with me made me feel kind of empty inside haha.

i remembered that you told me that day too that you would love to receive handwritten letters since you watched it in historical romance movies and thought that it was sweet and romantic for someone to do. i regret only doing it when i can’t give it to you anymore without worrying about crossing boundaries.

boundaries i caused myself. i really am very selfish, and you should be with someone who is less selfish that would be better for you than i could ever be and yet if i had the chance or choice for you to not enter my life in the first place i would and could never choose to do so cause i would never i could never ever stay away from you.

ironic as how that’s what i’m trying to do now, but if i was really staying away then you wouldn’t be on my mind all the time.

cause if time would turn back to before we met but i could still recall all the things that happen in the future. before you started tutoring takeru, before you had the courage to give me your gift, before you approached me.

i would seek you out first, and i’d try to make things better that time around.

i’d try to make myself better for you.

but it’s too late for that now.

i miss you

i love you

i miss you

yours, truly

tooru

series masterlist | chapter one

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — the demons prevailed also bOO make things better THIS time around boi ! (he does but wtv tbf hes very sad this was like uhm a month after he moved) also i uhm forgot which chapter i mentioned that oikawa wrote her letters but i wrote it on the fun facts lol

anyways lets all sing 🎵 the letter i received from u 2 weeks ago i noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase, it changed the meaning 🎶

#haikyuu #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smau #hq x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #hq #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x you #haikyuu angst #— nonsense.#hes so down bad #yk theyre like the trope when u think u love ur so more than they love u but its like the ither way around #s/o*#other*

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i-bring-crack · 3 months

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And another reason why I love Solo Leveling Ragnarok is because it slaps you (sneaky but it's there) with the knowledge that yeah, [TLDR] Jinwoo made the most dumb decisions of his life due to him trying to put every single problem in the universe on his shoulders.

Jinwoo as a person

Is someone who has been put through so much since he was young, we get it, we see it, since he is just 14 he was the only man in the house, so a lot of social roles were placed on him. And even though his mom had raised him with care and did all she could to save the family, 2 pressures were already placed upon him when his dad left. 1, that as a man he should help out everywhere and at every time, he was an older sibling as well so he had to protect Jinah this time as a brother and a father, and 2, his mom was a normal housewife, she started to work yes but the family hadn't expected this big of a turn in their life which probably made him even more pressure to succeed, to earn money or something so that he could take care of them as well. (And I can somewhat relate to this based through experience, as well as other familiar experiences I've noticed sometimes. How people slowly start to look for a way to earn money rather than trying to pursue their passions. All they keep thinking about is a way to be financially stable and it leaves a hyperfixation with being rich, working until exhaustion, and sometimes not doing well at school because it's a waste of things they are never going to use. It could also go differently in the case of Jinah where she studied as much as she could to become a doctor. But to Jinwoo, he never got to become or find a passion of his that he liked, even when he had both parents, he never had a reason to pursue anything and simply was swayed into becoming a detective by Jinchul.) So overall, Jinwoo had slowly begun to think less of himself as a person and more as another tool inside the house that should push their weight around to help.

And then he loses his mother to a comma. Not only is he now having to take care of his sister, but also his mother because she doesn't die, she becomes another wight he has to try and keep alive, and her being, well his MOTHER, he would do almost everything to save her. Now, all of his help is entirely cut off. The parents he was supposed to trust on and lean on are gone. And he is now the only lifeline for Jinah, who isn't even an adult so he can't lean on her or make her work, it would be against all he is trying to work for, which is giving Jinah a better life, giving his family a better life.

And this self solitude goes on for 4 more years. No, in fact, it keeps dragging him into more solitude during the four years of working, pushing his weight around, and literally trying not to die make his psyche more stressed on relying everything by himself or else he is a failure of a person.

To the point where HE is the one that sees himself more as a failure than the rest. The people around him are often bothered by his weakness, yes, and he does get the nickname, but that isn't what's going to affect him more in the long run, rather its the fact that he sees himself not worth saving more than the others. Like how he thinks Juhee might be mad at him for always being so weak and constantly getting injured. To the point where even some of the readers agree and think Juhee would never like someone like him in the first place. But thats completely the opposite actually. Juhee cared for him! Invited him on a date! Tries to STAY BEHIND, I REPEAT STAY BEHIND FOR JINWOO. And Mr Song wants him to live, wanted him to get out of the temple, another person in the LN warns him of the lizards. ONE side story literally is about a worker (who I had mistaken for jinchul my bad it's never said actually who he is) who tries his best to get him to safety. There were, are people who cared about him, about his being.

And Jinwoo doesn't see that, most fucked up part is that people need to read more indepth to see that most of the self hatred comes FROM HIM and the people he fixated upon that he thinks think hate him. His weakness is a big part of his problem, but his self worth exceeds more of the problems later on.

So he doesn't see himself as someone that needs to live on. He doesn't see himself as person in his own house but rather a breadwinner or the only thing keeping the household together. He doesn't think he can be anything better because he doesn't have a college degree or is even smart. The best thing he excells at is hunting, and yet he is the weakest.

His only choice is to become stronger.

And now that's fine in his own right. It's what he wanted it anyways (wrong mistake kiddo, he never had ambitions in the first place except survival), so what if he has been mentally exhausted over the past 4 years, basically going through a war but instead of people it's monsters that are very very bloodthirsty (and totally not someone who could reason with them, talk and have their own lives outside of this world but has been forcefully put into this dungeon with the constant command in their heads to kill and destroy everything. No, sir, those stones right there are not brainwashing crystals! They are just profit you can gain by killing them!)

And so what if he gets to live through one of his worst near death experiences that also increased his trust issues through the story?

He gets to be strong! Everything is forgiven, right? (Right, Ashborn????) All the pain and psychological damage he gets to suffer before that or afterward (liking learning to kill people) is immediately rewarded with more points! More strength! More power!

Oh, you don't even have to worry about all those monsters resenting you or hating your guts because you will arise them, and they shall become your most devoted slaves forever! Yes, the only people Jinwoo gets to live with for his immortal life, the only people in which Jinwoo can rely for help are the souls of his enemies and no one else. The souls who tried to kill him, who tied to kill everything he loves as well.

What's the point in this now, though? It's not like the author wanted to give Jinwoo some depth over his characters mental state. Instead, it was the opposite because he managed to deal very well while under that constant pressure. And besides, he likes hunting. He likes it now! (no, he feels satisfaction over holding power in those situations, he was disgusted at having to kill someone, he was angry at himself when he fought rasaka, he hated the ice Monarch for killing gunhee and escaping from his grass so easily than him being a threat. He doesn't like hunting. He just hates being hunted.) There's no need to dwelve on the story because he gets to have a good happy family (who he can never reveal his true self to) and some friends (that he tried to reach out to search because he knew they would never meet in any other circumstance) and a good boss (who knows the true extent of his power and leaves him to be however he please because he has saved the world and also because there would be no way he can stop him from doing whatever he wishes, even if he creates eternal torment for others.) And he has a wife as well!! (Who the story is completely vague about whenever or not Haein truly remembers everything or doesn't at all and just knows that he is pretty fuking powerful. And both of these already are basically a tight rope for her to walk on. It's not like im thinking haein could do something to upset jinwoo, but there's no way she isn't at least somewhat scared by the prospect of what might happen if he gets mad with her. He can do anything. He can even hide your existence, wipe out the memories, and create new ones, there is no one out there that could come close to ever challenging him, nothing out there that could save you if he changed his thoughts in any way.)

And he also has a son!

A son who means everything to him. But someone who can challenge those views of putting every weight on his shoulders as well.

Solo Leveling's Ending

It was great for others, not for some. Personally, I love it as a Shonen and powerfantasy fan, but not as a literary fan.

First of all, there was no reason for the cup of reincarnation to exist, yes, even though some of the past timelines had been alluded ever since the demon castle and its ruins looking the same as SK. The 'one last chance to wrap it up' is complete deuz ex-machina and just absolutely cleans away all the reason for everything in its story. There's no more advanced technology or clean energy resources (new add-on from the anime) There's no people who could get away from poverty and earn new jobs from this industry that requires all kinds of people. (Yes, even non awakened! Like they could study, the monsters gather knowledge to help create more technology or work in a guild. There wasn't much stopping them if the monsters could literally step away from the dungeon, and also, most of the side characters we know of from the US also use their skills more than having a rank.)

"There's no deaths from monsters as well! Thats good right?"

And yeah, it is! But you know, what could have also been well is if Jinwoo could have still let mana come into this world. Magic didn't have a bad outcome for his world. In fact, magic was the entire reason Jinwoo could get to become so omnipotent as he was. But instead of bringing it back to everyone, maybe even finding a way for people to become strong in their own way like make systems of leveling up for others, he instead decides to keep it all hidden. Not for himself, but absolutely hidden.

"But if he didn't, then people would fall into a comma and die, and there's no cure around the Sleeping death!" There is, and it includes a monarch's blood, which if we ignore the sequel. There's no way he can find a demon and create a monarch to drain him every time for mass production. However, he is also, you know, a freaking God. He can shape reality, shift time, he can raise the dead, he can open gates to mine mana crystals so they could sustain the lives of the comma patients, and even then he has the Rulers at his side who could possibly help him find a cure. Of all things if he isn't able to find a cure for Eternal Sleep after all of the power he has in his hands (and not to mention that dream Antares in the extra thought it was just a little disease he could so easily cure) then this would... idk, man, but he still has a stock so he could cure his mother again and give two others for the scientists to study it at least. He has everyone at his disposal. He can find a cure.

Secondly, the story singlehandedly erased every reason for us to love anything about the story apart from jinwoo.

Your favorite characters? Oh, they are alive, alright, but they aren't as you've met them before. Oh, Haein? Is she the badass swordsman who had experienced death and had her own fallout in life that shaped her as a person while also overcoming her own traumas against Beru? Yeah, she is just an athlete now and then a stay at home wife! Swords? What are those? Loosing? Nah. Thinking about the possibility of what kind of being has been attached to you emotionally and psychologically because he thinks that becoming human should also abide by the gender stereotypical tropes and should therefore find a wife first instead of looking for a therapist out there or deal with his psychological problems first before thinking about trying to date a 13 year old (wait no, it's um, trying to make her to date you, leave big hints, and then tell her that for 10 years you has been trying to chase her bc you were the only person he deemed worthy enough to marry. Why? Who knows(strong and beautiful)! The date must have been such a well off success that it seems he has carried those emotions over it and practically decided to latch onto you, being also the only person he WILLINGLY shared all the knowledge to. Yeah, no pressure, baby.)

Oh, Gunhee? His death? Now its more of a pointless sacrifice than a desth for delevopment. Jinwoo still had the reason to kill the monarchs bc they were at some point going to kill the world. Sure, it wasn't as personal, but, you know. Now Gunhee gets to live again, and then we see him die again. Slow clap, everyone, thank you. His death literally meant nothing now. Jinchul crumbled and tried to put himself in his place, but now that doesnt matter since we dont even HAVE a reunion of Jinchul and Gunhee in the next timeline so their entire relationship is gone. Poof. Jinwoo mourning? No, Gunhee just comes back again and gets to live off as a wealthy philanthropist!

Sung Il Hwans sacrifice that impacted whenever or not jinwoo lived through the monarchs attacks? Oh its okay he is alive now! You know it's not like I had wept literal tears for both of these characters only for them to come back in like 3 arcs later. I guess our emotions meant nothing now! Could have just... Not killed them and then gone back in time. Nothing would have changed, Jinwoo would have still wanted everything to be rewinded.

Jinwoo saying, "Too many people died," felt a bit obtuse in my head, though. Too many suffered yes, but like only two, 3 if we count Adam White, that we cared about where dead. And that's about it if I remember correctly. Like the story could have left of a bittersweet note at worst and on a wholesome ending for the future at best.

It wouldn't have been bad even when many died. And yes many did die that we never cared about, but they also died to protect everything they died.

Say, if Jinwoo died, would a random fodder character say his death shouldn't have happened and decided to rewind it all back to beginning instead, would that have left a good impression, to suddenly erase everything he stood for, his powers his title his struggles, all gone because, oh he died from circumstances that could have been prevented? Many things are preventable, disease, war, conquer. But if you just rewind time then it shouldn't matter that they died now. Those who protected their families out of their own will, went through tooth and nails to fight and live on? Yeah only Jinwoo can do that, only Jinwoo should make that descision. So anyways who cared whenever or not the hunters decided to put their lives on the line (and also it's not like during the 10 years until the final war people weren't allowed to retire or just not work as hunters even though they were awakened COUGH Joohee, Soohyung COUGH)

(Or it's not like Guilds, Essence stones and Awakenings could have absolutely benefited other countries in the world to relapse from the economic and social problems while also creating clean energy resources for the enviroment— And not to mention that this entire system isnt based on nepotism at all for those in power but rather sheer luck of who does and doesnt awaken.)

Lastly I would have tied the point back again to the free will of the people, but it's pretty clear from the last chapter what I mean, yet also I need to instilled the point that he never asked. He never thought about what others might think. When the United States got him on camera, he didn't care and never told them the truth. He doesn't think whenever or not his victims would like to get revived or take revenge of constant hell upon their killers. Neither does he care about criminal acrivity outside of Seoul, apparently bc there is no news of criminal activities being taken down globally (yeah, you have the power of a god, but we are so grateful for you never using it except when it disturbs your ambience! It's not like people are being actively enslaved and under constant dictatorship out there. North Korea? Oh, there's no need for you to help them out.)

And what's worse is that his own powers attract even more enemies to a world that has no way to defend himself, and no way to instantly learn about mana!

Great wonderful thing Jinwoo, this is the same as turning back world wars to them never happening even though they had shaped the entire world that we've come to known. But at the same time also keeping the powers on a ticking bomb as to when they will start the wars again.

But hey, he is pretty omnipotent! So what if there are extraterrestrial enemies in his curf and destroying earth every time they decide to come (oh man, it sure does wonders to see more natural habitats be destroyed for no reason and with no way to explain it! I mean where else would he fight them? The cities? People would get to know about magic then and he can't have that happening!) He can best them all with his shadows and then leave as if nothing happened.

There's totally not a single consequence that could come from all of this!

Consequences

To make this faster imma make a list:

The most frequent ones seen in Solo Leveling Ragnarok.

Gates appear and the whole world is in shambles as to what to do! Thus leaving to many people outright confused and many deaths as well (more, had it not been for Jin-Chul's work)

Suho could have died! Because why tell your son in highschool —since you didn't want him to eb alone in middle school, and in his teenage years he still doesn't know the source of any of his powers or his true nature. Up until what age was he going to be kept in the dark jinwoo? WHAT could have happened if Beru hadn't come to save him? Does he also have that death resurrection thing??? I don't know! No one knows!

Oh yeah no monarchs means that everyone who managed to survive the war is now fighting each other because there is no actual order or some higher power for them to listen to. It's become an anarchy on its own and a bunch of them have decided to break into tribes or states to live! Great! If we read out history book for two seconds you know how badly those things go!!!

Cha Haein was basically forced to survive through sheer will and raise a small village on her own. (Oh and how surprising it seems that the elves were reasonable enough to even tall to her and not outright kill her. My goodness. Could it be they also have a consciousness?)

Esil was forced to see her family be killed, after Jinwoo wiped the rest of the nobles, because the gates had dragged her back to her world since she was the only one who possessed demon blood.

The entire race of the dragons went almost extinct. (And that ones between good and horribly bad because they ALMOST went extinct)

Places like North Korea and Ireland have irreversible damage due to the open field gates which have left many to die. Others include Russia and China but they aren't as fucked however the landscapes of their country have changed a lot due to the mass of open field gates.

The ones that came with the side effects:

In the end, possibly another chunk of the population has died yet again (but do we care? No not really, it's not like Jinwoo had the possibility to save this by giving some backup information— or did he just left it all in charge to haein in the case this happened? It wasn't made clear with that bc she was supposed to tell suho about it in case their father disappeared but like... wow she really got a lot of weight on her hands at least give her some of your shadow army so that she can take care of any alien invasions— no? Just kaisel?...ok (honestly he is pretty great I have no qualms with Kaisel. Best shadow in the whole series) but like, you expect her to protect everyone with that? And no, the necklace isn't viable here, there was no other shadow to help her explain the necklaces' feature for her. JINWOO YOU HAVE AN ARMY— AHHHHHHH

Memory confusions between the past timelines and the others. You know because the Rulers had inhabited certain bodies and like I'll Hwang their memories might have hmmm, idk, come back.

Leaving only a few people with the memories of the past did not in fact help him at all, Sung I'll Hwang thankfully got his memories back soon or else he would have also been lost to the power. Thankfully Zhigang and Thomas met Suho or else it would have been another Christopher Reed situation of spirited away.

Too many people began to focus their faith on the foreign religion because they wanted answers to the many problems that where occurring and wanted to also protect their home (cough siddhart sough)

The other possible ones that are not implied but could appear:

Mana condensation. The changing of wildlife and nature as a whole (which is never talked about?! I get it, not relevant to the story. But damn if it didn't do incomprehensible damage.) (Although this one is a vague good or bad thing but a side effect nonetheless)

Again, setting back the age of progression (not only due to the things that could have been invented from mana but also because the gates everywhere would make for a hard situation in which to invent anything at all.)

Leaving open windows of opportunity for the universe to be threatened. In this case, he left many of the races he was supposed to exterminate, alive, bc killing the monarch would already be enough for him. This instead led to a worse possible idea bc 1, had he completely wiped out the other races he could have easily taken away any possible enemies from his sight. "Oh but he wouldn't kill monsters who are weak and defenseless" well too bad Odysseus now you are stuck with demons who are scared of you and resent you for the rest of their lives and will trade with anyone for more power to stab you where it hurts the most. Also, jinwoo had time to finish off everything. Two years was equal to 27 years, he could have dipped in and out and killed the remnants that he might have not noticed were still alive.

This one, though, I also blame it on the Rulers. Bc they would have been the first ones to know or had gathered knowledge that, yes, actually, the monarchs can come back since the fragments of darkness linger around and try to find other hosts for them to live through, it's why the monarchs haven't been able to truly pass on and why the monsters are so keen in finding sacred relics or building temples– because a monarch can come back, and in fact HAS to come back in order to maintain some order in their dimensions. And like, they would have known that, right? They have fought for centuries upon centuries. It feels like a shitty plan for them to not have at least CHECKED if another monarch could have spawned somewhere else, especially when Jinwoo was doing most of the dirty work out there by fighting the giants in his own home.

I think I probably repeated some of these, and it sounds like I'm throwing shade at Jinwoo for being a dumbass (only I can do that. No one else deserves to shame him.) but his actions are more than justified in terms of how Jinwoo is personality wise. It's also more bitter than maddening to see how all of these could have been prevented had Jinwoo decided not to play his part of lonesome hero and instead talked. About everything. From the war to the mana to the crystals. He didn't need to instantly go on a podium and say all the things. But at least, when he had his son or when he came back from he war, he could have talked with his parents about this newfound power. Slowly, he could have shown it to more and more people, especially those he knew about that had honest and good intentions (Adam White, Norma Selner, Thomas, Zhigang, Jongin) he wouldn't have needed to put himself out there as much and he would have relied on others believing him until there would have finally been enough people to understand about mana before finally letting it in. And maybe the Rulers could have come, some other species as well to help humanity interact with them for a while, let Rulers take care of this earth for some time while he goes to other worlds for a moment so that he can slay enemies to other places instead and come back again to see the progress. If they ever wanted to then maybe jinwoo could have given some of the hunters their memories back, and knowing how they took it in this timeline, Jinwoo would have been sure that they wouldn't have been sacred of him nor hated him for the things he had done. He would have had more people to understand what he went through alone, he would have had more friends, the freaking romance would have made a bit more sense in the end with all the memories gathered instead of one-sided (and wouldn't have much of a power imbalance). And he doesn't even need them to be strong enough to hurdle monarchs or giant monsters on their own. He just needs for them to be there for him. That's it. That's it.

Daul and his friendship theme [in Dungeon Reset] and in Raganrok.

Idk whenever or not Chugang had seen the flaws of his own character as much as everyone else, or if he had listened to his criticisms about the one dimensional personality of his own characters, or he just thought Daul was a good writer, could be any of these could be not but one thing for sure is that, he chose right.

Mainly because I haven't seen Infinite Reset, I won't be able to comment much on whenever or not his theme always revolves around building a safe foundation with friendships. But from what I've gathered in Dungeon Reset, a lot of his characters aren't insanely strong or if they are have cheat codes, they aren't completely overpowered in the way that they can best every single thing without anyone's help. There's still others who are stronger or others who can help the MC gather not only the strength needed to fight against the villains but also to help uncover more of the lore as it goes on.

And it works so well in Ragnarok because: We have this prodigy of a child who can not only level up but has been gifted by his father with a whole Shadow Dungeon as well as inherited some of the powers, and yet he isn't a strong man from the start.

Suho is someone who needs help constantly. From the beginning of the series, he never won a fight alone in its entirety. He won it thanks to an external help and his own internal progression. He levels up, but he isn't completely broken (though he is stronger than his father in some levels because he chooses to add more of his points in strength rather than intelligence. He is like a "what if Jinwoo had invested more points in strength all the way instead of suddenly shifting his focus to intelligence.") From the top of my head I remember his fights where he had to rely on either the monarchs help, the help of the successors, or the help of other S ranks and A ranks (Miho in the Villain Arc, Ryo in the Pyramid and India arc), and even his dad's deus ex machina help to get through his fights.

But he doesn't see it as something bad, and the story doesn't pain it as bad. Suho wants to get strong, yes, but he doesn't distance himself when he needs help, and he doesn't become someone that leaves everyone behind after like two arcs. Granted some of the characters are only making appearances here and there, but they get fleshed out more as they appear.

Taking the case for Miho, who is almost the least explored, we do still see her in the arcs how her character evolves from someone who values her strength as is very observant, to someone who is upright and bossy, and slowly from then on we get to find out that she is someone like that because she has the same justice morals as her dad, and she is also the one who leads most of the paperwork while her dad is out there fighting for most of the battles. And she is just the least characterized. Then there is Zhigang, who suffered through the possession of the Itarims and thus becomes someone more bloodthirsty but wants to fight against that in order to protect others. We see Thomas confronted by his ineptitude and his emptiness of his power. We see Lim Dogyun and Taegyu having to reconcile with their past that separated them from the first place. We see Siddhart be swayed by his hero complex due to everything around him. They are characters in their own right (and they could be more explored. Yes. This also isn't the end, so I can't say whenever or not they will or to what extent)

The protagonist from Dungeon Reset also shows that train of though, often getting help from others, giving something in return. His actions make him a leader, whereas Suho's actions make him someone to be loved more, rather than lead.

And I mean loved more because he isn't usually in a leading leading position. He orders his shadows around and does rake on the lead in things a lot of the time, but in the case where he can't deal with something, he would let another take on the lead (I.e Haein in the Ice Elves Kingdom arc. Taegyu in the Villain arc. ) or he would have a small rag group of teammates (which, apart from the shadows, always changes depending on the arc) rather than a group that follows him here and there.

Not to mention the fact that the shadows speak more now, and there isn't as many as before with Jinwoo, so all of them get to extent their personalities as well, leading Suho to not be completely lonely for most of the time. Even the system in some way isn't just a blank screen, but rather Suho has Beru and Ammut, who act as a guide and a trainer, respectively.

Inadvertently, that leads to Suho's character of protection even more than before. He gets to admire his dad and his mom for what they have done and for how much more powerful they are than him. But it doesn't make him any less blind to the fact that, yeah, taking all the power for himself and having all the responsibilities as well, was a bad idea in the long run.

Father and Son

In regards to the cup, I think everyone would have made that decision. Turn back time and let people live happily ever after. That's all good. What sets the problem is the things that come after that.

And while the story mentions it, Suho also put in a new light of his own, that he wants his father to be recognized for his actions instead of taking it all alone for himself.

Now, does Jinwoo ever ask for a reward after saving the world? No. Does he need it? Absolutely. And that knowledge did always bug me as to why he would just try to keep himself from being known, try to gatekeep magic and monsters from the world. Why did he want it all to disappear and for himself to never be entirely understood. Because, again, just by going from Solo Leveling and its side stories, we never get to truly know if haein ever recovered all of her memories or if she was just told by Jinwoo what had happened before.

Then, the title slaps me in the face. Yeah, it's solo leveling. It's everything coinciding with lonelyness, Beru in Raganrok as well (and by extension, the other author) had emphasized at some point that he levels up alone, he lives alone, he slowly keeps driven to hide away everything that he is and everything that he has truly become— In the same way he hides away all the pain from being noticed by his sister, in the same way rhat he wanted to hide his profession of hunting from his mother, in the same way that he wanted to hide his awakening from everyone else, in the same way that he wanted to hide his trauma through more and more reckless fighting, in the same way he wanted to hide his potential lost of feelings as he is Leveling up, in the same way he NEVER brought up the fact that his father died right in front of him,— He closes himself because he thinks that if the people were to know of him, hate him? Worry for him? Fear him? Whatever he is expecting of others it scares him.

"But he actually just wants to live a normal life!" If he did, he would have given up his power to someone else, or he would have stopped himself from using his powers altogether. But he doesn't. He heals Haeins foot, he gives some mama to his friend so he can run faster, and he uses his shadows as well as other powers to do some criminal activities. He doesn't want a normal life. He just wants some escape. He is hypocritical with his own statement by already doing things that are out of the norm. "Oh, but she needed it, or they deserved it." Yeah, and he could also do that as well to others, heal sickness, hunt down other criminals out there in the world that pose a bigger threat to the living than anything, but he doesn't. Not to mention that the more mana he spreads, the more the enemies are going to notice him. And if he doesn't want to deal with that then he should have healed Haein with magic (maybe use something else that could have been nice) or hunt down criminals at all!

In the end, he had already come so dark to achieve all of his powers, and he can't just leave all of his responsibilities behind as much as he wants ro, so he has to come and accept it that he will never go back to the way it is.

And maybe he has already started to notice that? Or maybe he will get to notice that when he and Suho reunite again? Everything he knows bout earth is just recent, and he doesn't seem to be mad that Suho has decided to become a monarch of a different race instead of being the Shadow Monarch. And while I can't say much about Jinwoo's feelings right now or the state of his mind rhat he might be in right now, there are is a few hints out there that he could still feel as though it is always his duty to put every responsibility on him.

We see this in the reunion with Suho as an illusion. Suho sees his greatest fear, which is letting his own father down, unable to reach his maximum (or unable to reach the power he needs for Suho to help his father carry some of his burden). And he is worried as well that he IS Jinwoo's biggest weakness. To that, Jinwoo responded that it didn't matter and to use his full extent of his shadow powers either way. Once again, leaving Jinwoo to put on more responsibility on himself for the sake of others.

However, for the first time, and due mostly to the circumstances rather than himself, he has to expose that weakness even without being present. He has to learn to trust his own son, which he loves enough to do so, and finally, fucking finally get someone to help him out on earth. This man had it not been for son, who again, he does trust –because he knows him more than anyone else, it's his only child, it has the same powers as him, it's basically the only one who can relate to him: as a human and monarch. Suho also learns about his loneliness the more he hears of Jinwoo's story from Beru. He takes the risk of giving information about Jinwoo for the sake of not letting be alone anymore. That's his gift to his father, to let him acknowledge that no matter what, he won't stand alone anymore. Not as long as Suho is here and leveling up for him.

Ps: Incredibly funny of Suho to also be such a contrast to his dad that even Antares likes him. And it's not the 'Oh, he is just so nice that everyone can't stand his niceness cinnamon roll' Not it's the opposite. He will aggressively befriend you for your powers/skills/because yes. No questions asked.

Pss: Jinwoo will do anything for Suho, even change his lonely attitude of him it's making me sob. WHY DID IT TAKE YOU A SON FOR YOU TO FINALLY RELY ON SOMEONE THAT WASN'T DEAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. What's worse is the fact that it isn't an entire change of the original Jinwoo since in the last extras, he did want Suho to fight alongside him. Despite his C type parenting, he was doing all he could to love Suho as well.

But, you know, I wish we kinda got to see more of that father and son bond Daul *shaking Kakapage* Give us some flashbacks of them Daul! It's not that hard Daul!!!!! WHERES THEIR FISHING TRIP—

#happy valentines day #i got send to the hospital in the meantime bc yalls dumbass had never been vaccinated from very bad disseased like ever #how the fuck did i survive covid i have no earthly idea considering i could have just as easily died from freaking polio #anyways have reason 1283920 to read SLR #and totally not because im translating it no no no i dont self promote like that #solo leveling #solo leveling ragnarok #sung jinwoo #sung suho #sung su ho #cha hae in #solo leveling spoilers #solo leveling ragnarok spoilers #only i level up

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duckprintspress · 2 years

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Editing Tips for Beginning Editors

This is a guest post written by Adrian Harley.

Congratulations! If you’re reading this, I’m willing to bet you already have a lot of the skills you need to be an editor. Even among full-time professionals, a lot of editing skill comes from reading a ton—you get an “eye” for when a sentence just doesn’t look right. The more you read professionally edited work, the better you get at it. (Fanfiction is incredible, obviously. But fanfiction has its own quirks, and the grammar and punctuation can vary, so I’m not confident recommending it as a way to brush up your instinctive grasp of when a sentence “looks right.”)

The specifics of what you do as an editor can vary a lot depending on what you’re editing and who you’re editing for, so in this post, I’ll be covering some of the basic principles that I think will be helpful no matter what type of editing you do. Broadly, I’ll be going over language-related tips and profession-related tips.

Language

I won’t be going over the nuts and bolts of grammar here, as a zillion good guides to it already exist online. Grammar Girl is my go-to free resource, and a lot of grammar and punctuation questions can be easily answered online or in a style guide from your library. I looked up the rules for commas a LOT in my first years of editing, and I still have to double-check them sometimes. A lot of the fiddly details differ between guides (how to write a.m. and p.m.; serial comma), but the nuts and bolts of grammar and punctuation stay the same across guides.

Professionally, those fiddly details are a big chunk of editing. Do you write out numbers less than 20? Less than 10? Do you capitalize titles like “President” all the time or only in certain situations? There’s no one right answer, which is one of the many reasons there’s no “right guide” to editing. A style guide will decide many of these questions for you. If you pick up editing as a profession, your employer will most likely have a style guide in mind. You may want to pick one for yourself if you do freelance editing. That way, you won’t have to re-decide on every job, and if you get repeat clients, you’ll be sure their text is consistent across all their documents. A “series bible” for fiction works on similar principles.

Whether you’re looking at those fiddly details or at the big picture, one principle of editing is to never take anything for granted. Someone says there’s five ancient orbs needed to defeat the dragon? You’d better count the orbs. Make sure every proper noun in the story (names of people, places, things) is spelled the same every single time. This is the kind of thing you’ll get quizzed on if you ever apply for a professional editing gig. Every editing job I’ve ever applied to has an “editing test” of at least a page, and it usually has at least one of those errors (if not both).

Another major thing to watch out for is colloquialisms, especially ones that mean multiple things. A short list of common errors I see:

“Since” should only relate to the passage of time; it does not mean “because.”

“While,” again, should only refer to time—two things happening simultaneously. “But,” “although,” “whereas,” and others are good substitutes for the other sense.

“Due to” does not mean “because of,” it means “caused by” (and I’ve seen some editors argue to not even use it for “caused by” and to only use it for when something is owed to someone).

“If” will often need to be replaced with “whether.”

Obviously with dialogue, that’s a whole nother story, but be careful about these in narration, even with a colloquial narrative. They can introduce unintentional double meanings.

When you’re moving from basic accuracy to style, you’ll often need to “tighten up” the language. This might be something you’re used to doing in your own writing. This doesn’t mean all prose should be sparse! But as an editor, part of your job is making sure that every word is contributing something, no matter whether the sentence is flowery or stark. One exercise is to go through and see if you can cut one word from every sentence. Depending on what type of editing you do, you’ll have different “filler words” to look out for. My personal demon is “just,” so I always do a search for that when I’m revising my own work. In my day job, the word “provide” often signals a clunky phrase that could be condensed into a single, better verb (e.g., “provides assistance” vs. “helps”).

You’ll look for a lot as you edit, so don’t feel like you have to do it all at once. A simple search can make sure you’ve caught issues like “while” and “since.” Other issues are best solved in their own read-through. For me, I try to do a read-through specifically for passive voice. I often skip over passive voice on my all-purpose read because, well, the sentence makes sense, doesn’t it? So my eye simply doesn’t catch it if I’m not on the lookout. As you edit, you’ll figure out what process works best for you.

And to wrap up the language section—checklists are your friend! I used to have a post-it of all the things I knew I struggled with, and I’d systematically search the document for those trip-ups after I did my first read. You can customize your own checklist with whatever snags give you trouble.

Professionalism

A huge part of editing as a professional is in how you interact with other people. Your whole job is telling people they’re wrong, after all, and you often have no control over whether they’ll listen to you. Everything you can do to make the criticism easier for them helps!

My favorite “one weird trick” that my first boss taught me is to turn every criticism into a question. If you’re suggesting a significant revision, “How about…?” is one of my favorite leads. If you have no idea what’s going on, do your best to figure out what might be causing the issue, then form a question around that. “Are there missing words here?” is kinder and more useful than “Huh?”

Essentially, your role as an editor is to advocate for the reader. This “reader stand-in” role can help frame critique as well. Will the reader understand this? If you’re in one of the more-technical editing jobs, that question may be completely necessary. As an editor for scientific research, I’m often editing documents meant for people who know way more about the subject matter than I do. The framing of “the reader” is also a useful tool in your toolbox for fiction. You may be editing something that you are not the target audience for. Or, on the other end of the scale, you may know without question that you’re reading something incomprehensible. The polite device of “the reader” helps add a level of depersonalization to the critique.

Unsurprisingly, for editing, communication is key before you even start work. “Editing” covers a huge range of possibilities. Make sure you and the author are on the same page. Do they want a proofread—only correcting glaring errors? Do they want you to improve the phrasing of sentences? It can go all the way up to practically rewriting the thing, if you’re working at a corporation and the authors aren’t professionals. This conversation beforehand will let you know whether you should make “artistic” suggestions as you read, whether you need to stick with nuts and bolts, or something in between.

If the author says they only need a proofread and you discover the whole thing is terrible, that’s when some tactful emails come into play. Never start doing a higher-level edit unless you’ve talked about it with the author first. You have much better odds of an affirmative if they feel like they’re collaborating with you–that you’re both in it together to make the best document possible. As far as the tactful emails go, be kind and be specific. If you have examples of what you’d like to correct, throw those in. It helps the author know what to expect and make an informed decision.

And sometimes the author says no, and that’s okay! You must wash your hands of it. It’s not your name on the thing, and if you don’t put it in your resume, it never will be (fresh out of college, I worked on a couple truly awful novels that nobody will ever know I worked on). Perfectionism is HARD to overcome, I know, but accepting the errors gets easier with practice.

And finally, if you’re still wondering, “Am I cut out to be an editor?” I would recommend the words of Neil Gaiman. In his excellent “Make Good Art” speech, he says that as a freelance artist, you need to do good work, do it on time, and be pleasant to work with. And then, he adds, “You don’t even need all three! Two out of three is fine.”I recommend the whole thing if you ever want to battle imposter syndrome, because the same tenets apply to editing. At least I think they do. You don’t need to be the perfect editor—nobody is. But I guarantee that you have most of what you need already, and I hope this has helped.

Biography

Adrian Harley, one of Duck Prints Press’s editors, has been a full-time professional editor of scientific research for 10 years. Their freelance and ad-hoc editing has run the gamut from books to blog posts to family members’ cover letters. They’ve been published in Duck Prints Press’ And Seek (Not) to Alter Me and the forthcoming She Wears the Midnight Crown, as well as OFIC Magazine.

Want to learn more?

Beware the Weasel Word has information and resources for “tightening up” language.

How to Ask for Feedback on Your Writing talks more about how, from a writer point of view, to help your editor understand what type(s) of editing you’re looking for.

Giving Quality, Motivating Feedback focuses on exactly what it says on the tin: how to give a writer feedback they’ll listen to.

What is an Alpha Reader? talks about what role alpha reader editors play and how to work with one.

#duck prints press #editing advice #on writing #publishing #writing advice #guest blogger #adrian harley

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joshslater · 2 years

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The Cards

Attempting to repost stories previously flagged as too risqué for tumblr. This is some sort of story based on captions made by Himbo Heaven. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

"And it has to be one of these four?" you ask the man in the armchair across your coffee table. "We've been over this already. Just make your decision," he says, not even looking up from the device in his hand. You make a defeated sigh and pick the top card from the stack.

Thank God it comes with dumb, you think as you can't imagine living like that and keeping your wits about you. Deep down you wouldn't mind looking better, you know that. It's not like you are remarkably ugly. At worst you could be described as unremarkable, but handsome people have always behaved in a way that annoyed you. Like they got this genetic gift and act like they are better than everyone. The irony here is to get it literally gifted, or forced rather, to become the ultimate end of vain entitlement. No, you correct yourself. There was that "made to fulfill" part too, which makes you conflicted because it somehow makes it better holistically while also being worse personally. An ornamental slut eager to please. Frustrated you throw the card down on the table and pick the next one.

This is even less appealing to you. The first one at least had some air of luxury, but this is just crude. Even the description doesn't bother with any sophistication but simply states "Dude, bro". You've worked hard to never be anyone's dude or bro. There should be a comma after "socks" shouldn't it? And another one after caps. Why did it have to say "dumb"? Actually, that whole last run-on sentence sounded pretty horrible. You throw the card on top of the first one in disgust, though it glides almost to the middle of the table before it settles. You're trying to shake the mental image of socks, caps, and a locker room with sweaty athletes having sex with each other.

"Do they all have to be so vulgar?" you ask, but the man ignores the question, still staring at his device. You pick the third card from the stack and suppress a laugh.

That's not going to happen, is it? Just imagine being one of those sex-obsessed people, always trying to score, always making innuendos and flirting. Such a life would be so lacking, with no art, no literature, no real human connections, no science, no awe for the wonders of the world, no plans for how to make the world a better place. Just...

"One more minute then I'll pick one for you," the man interrupts. You throw the card next to the other two and pick up the last one.

Finally something without sex in the text, but then it has "Slut" right there in the title. In a way this is just the jock again, but worse in almost all aspects. None of the aesthetic part, no hints of any life outside of the gym or team or friends, and unlike the jock text an unqualified reduction in intelligence. If the last one's life sounded empty, this one is even more tragic.

"Fuck it! I'll take..."

Trophy Boy

It's the one with the softest landing after all. Sure, some people would be weirded out by a meticulously sexualized and objectified man, but there must be so many who'd love to care for him.

The man in the armchair nods and makes a slight motion with his hands. You recognize the scent of lavender, no its cum, no bubblegum, no lube. It's over so quickly you think you must have been mistaken. You feel warm, not in a feverish way, but as if you've been out in the sun a tad too long. You're thirsty but can't resist licking your lips. Your lips feel different. Your mouth feels different. Did the transformation already start? You're just about to ask him when your clothes turn to powder, perhaps more like sand than flour, because it falls off you cleanly to reveal the smooth, tan, perfect skin of your toned arms. A swirl of pride, horniness, and disgust wash over you as you trace the rest of your meticulously toned body with your gaze.

You lick your lips again. Your mouth is lacking something. Shouldn't there be something happening to you? Some sort of change, for some reason you can't quite recall. You think of bubblegum. Your mouth lacks bubblegum! There's a man you don't recognize getting up from an armchair, reaching for some cards at the table next to you. Or a lolly. A pink strawberry lolly to suck on. "Who are you?" you ask the man. He's fit, dressed in plain but expensive clothes. You stare at his groin as he collects the cards. A dick! Your mouth is lacking a dick to suck on. "It doesn't matter. You won't see me again," the man says and heads towards the door. "Aww," you whine and try to make a sad face, pouting your lips. There's a big glass bowl with strawberry lollies on the table though, so you stand up, adjust your thong, and head over there to find something to suck on. If only they made them cum flavored.

Jock

Once the transformation is done, this must surely be the best option. To be surrounded by teammates that support each other. Bro culture may be toxic from the outside, but as a dumb member it must be great.

The man in the armchair nods and makes a slight motion with his hands. Your eyes widen as knowledge rush into you, rules for sports you barely knew existed, famous players, games from history, not just who won or lost, but where it was played, who was in it, the notable swings of fortune. You know not just the rules, but how to apply them in practice, what to do differently when the grass is wet or when the sun is in your back. You know how to save every second when putting on football pads. You know what underwear chafes, what fabrics are good for running, how to pour out the contents of your training duffel on the floor so all the sweaty clothes dry over night. You know how to pace yourself in beer pong to come out winning more often than not, and how to cure hangover the day after in time for training. You know how to suck your bro's dick to keep him on the edge for as long as possible. You know how to recognize how many shots into the evening the teammates will let you make out with them with sloppy kisses. You know how to move your body to keep your bros inside you for as long as possible, and have them come back for seconds once they've creamed inside of you and recharged.

"What the fuck!" you gasp, as if gasping for air. As if you were drowning in knowledge you didn't want in the first place. You're panting heavily, frantically scanning the room with your eyes as if you've just woken up from a nightmare. You see the man across the room, sitting in the armchair, and suddenly you're reminded of what is happening. The cards, the choice, the transformation. Only you haven't transformed. You look the same as when you came in through the door from school. Doing what though?

You struggle to remember anything that happened during the day. You can't even remember what school you are attending, or what subjects. You glance at the wall clock and know there is basket on ESPN in 40 minutes. You desperately don't want to know that. You look around the room for any hints of what you are studying, of who you really are. You only see a line of football gear strewn on the floor, giving off a faint odor of sweat and liniment cream.

Your panting isn't coming down though, but instead is intensifying as if you were sprinting. You've been too confused and preoccupied to notice just how profusely you're sweating. You feel it one of the legs first, but within seconds you are cramping all over your body. Not just like a big ball of tensed muscle, but fading in and out all over the body seemingly randomly. You try to get out of your seat, but collapse on the floor writhing in pain and convulsions. Eventually the cramps begin to subside and you are aware that the only remaining discomfort is where your too tight clothes cut into you when you move. You're also aware that someone is walking around above you, getting ready to leave your apartment.

"Dude. Fuck me..." you exhale as you roll on your back, exhausted and soaked in sweat, waiting for your heartbeat to go down.

"Many will," you hear someone answer before he closes the door behind him.

Cumdump

It's the only one where you don't lose your smarts if the texts can be trusted. A smoking hot body and boosted libido must be possible to work with.

The man in the armchair nods and makes a slight motion with his hands. You feel both your butt cheeks spasm quickly, as if you flexed your muscles there for half a second. Then it happens again. And again. Every five seconds or so there's a contraction of your butt muscles. Then the fourth time it's followed by a quick clenching of your sphincter. Same with the next one. It's like involuntary kegel exercises. You can feel the contractions getting deeper each time, as if you are clenching harder or more muscles are involved. By the tenth or so contraction it's like a wave that travels from your butt muscles through your ass and out your dick. You can feel an erection slowly building, but the whole thing doesn't feel sexual in any way. It's just like an annoying hiccup. One you imagine would prevent you from walking.

It goes on for minutes and you are just about to ask the man how long this would take, if something is wrong, or if you were required to do something, when the contractions suddenly expand both up and down. You feel your thighs flexing as well as your abs. Every contraction is reaching further away into your body, like a ripple of flexing muscles, always starting from your butt cheeks. You're starting to feel fatigued around your ass and shift around to get more comfortable when you hear a short, ripping sound. It's your underwear you realize. Standing up would be unthinkable with the incessant muscle contractions, so you are limited in what you can do in between the increasingly violent flailings, but you manage to discover that your ass has been growing into a bubble butt, explaining the wardrobe failure. You scoot down into a half-sitting position that is at least closer to comfortable.

You don't know if the frequency had been increasing all along or not, but the thrusts throughout your body happen much faster now, every two seconds or so. The ripple of contractions has extended to basically cover your entire body, all the way down to your feet and all the way up your chest, neck, and out your arms. There's barely any time between one wave being finished and the next one starting. While your dick started out just getting hard it is now radiating horny energy. You're making a small, short moan for every contraction, more of a yelp really, but it is when the wave hits your dick you make the sound.

Then suddenly one wave, once it hit the throat, bounced back down the chest. It goes on a while like that until slowly, slowly the contractions drift out of sync with each other that it's really two different waves. One from the ass and out and one from the throat and down. They are timed differently and drift in and out of phase with each other.

This just goes on and you lose track of time. If asked you wouldn't be able to tell if it had been an hour or four. At some point you just gave up on trying to do anything about it, other than inching into the best possible position. You stopped trying to make sense of it, why it was happening, when it would stop. You just are.

"This is the one I enjoy the most," the man in the armchair says.

Startled you look at him, snapped out of your trance, and everything stops. No more waves of contractions. At some point you had shifted position to just lie on your back with your bent legs up in the air, arms behind your neck. You're confused to see silky smooth legs, shaved cock and balls, and smooth abs glazed in precum from all the droplets have have been flung around. You're just as much confused because you are naked as the fact your body looks like it does. But most surprising of all is the emptiness your feel from the lack of the pounding in your ass and your throat. The deep craving you feel to have that continue and the pervasive horny feeling that is like nothing you have ever experienced before. You know of course what was done to you. You selected the card.

"Why?" "All the other options are just stupidly content with what they become. You on the other hand have a whole journey of coming to terms with it at your own pace. That's why nothing in your apartment has changed." "Perhaps I am content?" you say as you sit back up properly on your new, plump ass and tentatively try to squeeze them to get back the feeling of being thrusted. You reek of sweat and cum after what essentially were hours of being ghost fucked.

He smiles a wry smile. "Well, you can stay with this decor if you want. Or, if you want me to fuck you, I can give you the cumdump interior and wardrobe." "Fuck me!" you say without hesitation.

Muscle Slut

It wouldn't be the first time someone would be fixated on getting the perfect body, and there's a lot of money to be made if you just play your card right. It's the only grown-up decision really.

The man in the armchair nods and makes a slight motion with his hands. You feel a flash of heat, like when stage pyrotechnics go off at a concert, but without any blinding light. No light at all, just a quick, searing heat that instantly begins to mellow out. You look at one of your arms and see it is deeply tanned, not quite hazel nut, but not far off, and completely smooth as if you've waxed it. It almost looks shiny to you as you turn the arm in the soft light of the apartment. You can easily imagine how it would look with some oil on, how it would bring out the contrasts. Heck, even a moderate sweat would send you glistening like a well-polished wood carving.

Fascinated you open and close your hand, watching the tendons and muscles work just beneath the skin on the inside of your forearm, creating ridges for the light to play with. One of the veins catches your attention as wraps around to the other side of your arm. You turn it and are surprised by all the veins snaking up and down the arm. It's exciting though, and mesmerizing. While still looking intently at the arm as you twist and turn it and your hand, you begin stroking your groin. Your arm never interested you this much before. Clearly not, because you never realized before how beautiful your veins are, or that you even had them.

You start to tension the muscles in your arm, as much as you can. You have never flexed before in your life, so you are not sure how to do it. To your disappointment not much happens. Perhaps you are imagining it, but the veins on the arm look even more pronounced. You make another attempt to flex the arm, this time with a bit more proper technique and your eyes widens as you see the response. The bicep bulge is like you've never seen it before. You fumble with your other hand to get it into your pants and underwear to fully grip your erect cock, but you don't want to look away from your arm. You don't want to miss a thing, as you relax and flex it again. This time it grows even larger than the last. Transfixed you flex and relax, flex and relax over and over, just admiring how the skin moves over the muscles, the shape and size of the football sized bulge, and how the light gives it all the most beautiful shimmer you've ever seen.

Suddenly a fear wash over you that you are just focusing on one part of your body, and not looking at the whole. How all body parts should be in proportion with each other, and balanced between both sides. Almost in panic you stop jerking off at inspect your other arm. "Fucking ace!" you shout as you see your other arm is just as muscular, just as bronzed, just as vascular, and just as beautiful as your first arm. You flex both arms into a front double biceps pose, and just wished you had a mirror in front of you.

You look down at your body. Your naked torso shows large pecs jutting out over a strong core with abs that look good even sitting down in this position. Below that your rock-hard dick hangs out of your body hugging trunks that cling to your ass and massive legs. You see a lot to be proud of, but just as much that needs work.

But you do have a mirror in front of you. There's one in each room of the apartment save for the kitchen. You tuck your dick back into the trunks, jump up and approach the mirror. You want to go through your competition program before hitting the gym.

"I trust you'll be all right then," said the man you had forgotten about. "No, I'll be the best," you answer, not looking away from the mirror and your side chest pose.

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