#if you have any thoughts on that (and not just january feeling like a weird month) feel free to let me know in the tags or replies etc.
Text
"TALK"
I suguru x pregnant!reader
“And I’d be the immediate
Forgiveness
In Eurydice.
Imagine being loved by me.”
part I of suguru x pregnant!reader (this isn’t completely canon compliant, and will probs be 3 or 4 parts and will go up to December 24th, 2017 on the current JJK timeline).
summary: you loved suguru more than anything in this world. and you could argue he felt the same for you. actually, he would end the world for you. so, he took you with him the night he defected, and you happily obliged. however, in the midst of the chaos of leaving your life behind, two little lines appear on a certain test causing you to rethink your entire plan.
A/N: heyyy!! i'm arden!! this is my first try at ever posting the fanfic I’ve written so please enjoy! I started this specific fic as a hobby back in December, and I finished it a little over a month ago (I’ve just been kinda nervy to post hehe) so here goes nothing! likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated <3
MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.
warnings!: SPOILERS FOR GOJO’S PAST ARC. THIS IS A PREGNANCY FIC! 18+. nsfw. f!reader. suguru and reader are over the age of 18. explicit sexual content. unprotected sex/oral (f!receiving). breeding kink. fingering. creampie. pregnancy. unplanned pregnancy. lactation kink. mentions of child abuse. cute domestic fluff hehe.
wc: 14.5k
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September 2007
4:27 PM (16:27)
“Wait…so what are we doing again?” you asked, riding atop one of Suguru’s many curses. You were straddling the pink alien-looking curse, legs dangling off either side. One of Suguru’s large hands held your waist steady while the other controlled the motion of the cursed spirit. His chin was buried in the crook of your neck, so that he had easy access to press kisses into your skin.
Suguru left a line of sweet pecks down your shoulder before answering.
“This village in the sticks was reported to have kidnappings and abnormal deaths. Shouldn’t be anything unusual,” he said nonchalantly.
You leaned back against him so that you could look up into his honey irises, pouting. His hand left your waist, moving comfortably behind him to support both of your weight.
“Then why did you ask me to come along? Seems like you could handle it yourself, you’re a special grade. I’m only a semi grade-one,” you reasoned, reaching up to play with his stray bangs. He grabbed your hand before you could reach his neat, inky bun, pressing light kisses into your knuckles.
“Well, if all goes well, maybe we can find a hotel or do something nice. Charge it to the school and say it took longer than we expected, so we get to stay somewhere overnight without waking Satoru,” Suguru replied, smirking a bit on the last line of his speech.
“I like the way you think, my love,” you beamed, melting into his touch.
…
January 2007
You and Suguru had been in a committed relationship for the past nine months, and friends for even longer. You started secretly fucking around at the beginning of your third year at Jujutsu High. You had always been attracted to him, but given your tiny class size and the complexity of Jujutsu Society, you didn’t want to cause any drama or make things weird between you two.
Well, life doesn’t always go to plan.
Especially that one night at the beginning of your third year when you, Shoko, Satoru, and Suguru broke into Yaga’s liquor cabinet, stole two bottles of sake, and got a little handsy. With your judgment impaired, you might have let it slip that you thought Suguru was very attractive and often wondered how his sculpted body would feel beneath his Bontan pants and uniform shirt. The thought was reciprocated by the raven head.
One thing led to another, and the next morning, you woke up in a tangled mess of inky black hair and bedsheets. Suguru just held you, keeping your body close to his, whispering sweet nothings into your ears. It was nice, you did not have to say anything to fill the comfortable silence that had fallen upon you two.
Eventually, he placed a kiss on your forehead and started to pull his clothes on from the previous night.
Last night. Was last night a mistake?
Should you have let Suguru taken you out to dinner or something before he fucked you into tomorrow?
“Wait…Sug hold on.
What does this mean?
For us? Our friendship?” you asked in a panic before Suguru reached the door.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to,” he replied in his calm, collected tone, looking at the floor with his back to you.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you sat up, still covered by the soft sheets, pulling your knees into your chest, slightly offended.
“Just that we don’t have to make a big deal out of this if we don’t want to. We also don’t have to do this again if you don’t want to. I know this could complicate things if we keep at it,” he paced around to face you again, the distance still rather daunting.
“Okay.”
“Cool.”
The comfortable silence from before slowly turned awkward.
“Um…thanks,” you offer.
“…for…what?” Suguru inquired.
“Last night. It was…fun,” you flashed him an unsure smile.
A deep rumble came from his chest as he chuckled, “Yeah, let’s see how much fun you have walking today. See ya in class,” before leaving the room.
“SUG-“ you called after him, blushing at the cheesy line as he left the room, disappearing back into the cocoon of sheets.
…
March, 2007
You tried to keep your distance from him. Being a child of the Kamo clan, you were probably destined to be forced into some relationship that benefitted Jujutsu society, and not your happiness. This was just one of the many things that you hated about Jujutsu Society. Therefore, Suguru was all that more enticing to you.
You found yourself perched on Suguru’s desk the next week. Your legs were spread wide, held apart by his large hands to assure you didn’t squirm around too much and get away from him. Suguru was lapping at your folds like a man starved. He dragged his tongue up and down your slit, and worked his way up to your clit, giving it a little kiss and suck.
“Ngh Suguru. More.” You moaned, bucking your hips up to his face.
“That’s not how we ask,” he replied, pulling away.
“Suguru. Please.”
“What happened to complete sentences?” Suguru pressed one of his large thumbs to your nub, holding pressure, but refrained from moving it.
“Fuck YOU Suguru I-“
“That’s what I’m trying to do, doll. You’re just not behaving.”
He started to swirl his thumb around gently. It wasn’t enough to make you cum, but the pleasure was still intense.
“Suguru please, I need som-something inside. Fingers. Yours. Please.” You croaked out, your head going dizzy with pleasure.
“Awww, what’s wrong? Can’t think straight?” He said, plunging his slickened digits, adorned with a few silver rings, right into your core.
“At least you said please, so I guess I’ll let you cum this time,” Suguru voiced in that smooth, sultry voice of his.
He started moving those two digits back and forth in a “come here” motion, not giving you a chance to adjust to their circumference. A lewd squelching noise filled the room as he continued his ministrations. “You’re being such a good girl for me, taking my rings and fingers so well. Yeah, you like that, don’t you?”
You let out a loud moan, and Suguru immediately pushed his thumb in your mouth for you to suck on. That way, you wouldn’t draw attention to any unwelcome visitors who might be walking the halls of the school.
“You don’t even have to answer with that pretty mouth, your body is answering for you. You’re so tight. Gods, you’re gorgeous.” he whispered into your ear.
He put his mouth back on your clit to suck, and added a third finger. He kept thrusting it in and out, hitting that sweet spot that had you seeing stars, as if he had your g-spot memorized.
If Sugru ended up drowning in your juices, he would die a happy man. He absolutely loved lapping up at your sweet pussy, the earthy scent intoxicating to him.
Soon, you felt the familiar coil in the depths of your belly start to come undone, and your cunt fluttered around Suguru’s fingers, the stimulation becoming too much.
“Come apart f’me. I got you love. I got you. Cum f’me,” Suguru commanded in his pussy-drunk haze.
You let go as your orgasm washed over you, relishing in the pure bliss as Suguru helped you through the aftershocks. When you came to, he captured your lips in a hungry kiss. You could still taste your essence on his tongue.
The next night, you were folded over the same desk as he pounded into you with his fat length. The bathroom stalls. The pantry. Behind the bleachers at the field. You could not get enough of each other.
You and Suguru both fell hard and fast for each other. His unwavering sense of morality, intelligence, and kindness towards others drew you even further into his grasp. The way he spoke, his scent of freshly done laundry, his loyalty to his friends; these were all things that you loved about Suguru Geto. He was one of a kind.
As Jujutsu Sorcerers, you were well aware that your tomorrow was not guaranteed. Suguru made you feel alive, which, to you, was worth more than any amount of fame or glory that your clan could bestow upon you. He truly wanted to make the world a better place for you, and any future you might have together. On the third month of your official relationship, you confessed your love:
“Suguruuuu,” you giggled as he kissed up your neck.
You had been laying in Suguru’s bed, in the midst of a heated makeout session. Your back was pressed flat into the mattress, knees at an angle, and feet flat against the soft duvet. Suguru was positioned right on top of you, in between your knees. He held your face in both of his hands, and your arms clung to the back of his head, getting lost in the inky strands.
“I love you.” He whispered, as if he was telling a secret.
In lieu of an answer, you brought his head down into a deep, passionate kiss. Your tongues danced together for what seemed like forever and no time at all, until you broke the kiss and said, “I think I may love you more.”
“Unfortunately, doll, that’s simply not true. I’d end the world for you.”
You were hopelessly in love with Suguru Geto.
…
May 2007
“You have a list of baby names picked out? Dude you’ve been together for like a few months.” Shoko taunted, a cigarette tucked between her lips, clicking away on her silver flip phone.
“Oh, come on Ieiri, I think every person has a baby name list.”
“I don’t.” Shoko deadpanned.
“You’re a lesbian who has no desire for kids,” you shot back.
“Touché. I do have a cat name list, though, if that counts,” Shoko added.
“I think it does.” you replied.
“Ugh, fineee, gimme the list,” said Shoko, already grabbing the journal out of your hand. After scanning through the list of names, Shoko looked up at you and burst into laughter.
“Ok, you cannot name your kid Shigure. Or Kyo. Or any character from Fruits Bask-“
“Yo, WHO’S having a kid” interrupted the lanky, white-haired person with blacked-out sunglasses and a mischievous smile. Suguru appeared next to Satoru, holding a basketball, running to kiss you hello.
“NO ONE’S having a kid,” you replied.
“Ok, wait I need to know, do either of you have baby name lists? I feel like every person has them.”
Satoru sighed, and thought about the question for a second. Suguru sat on the ground and started rolling the basketball in the dirt.
“I haven’t even thought about baby names. To be honest, kids are kinda hard to have when you’re a sorcerer. You have to go on missions and then come home and change diapers, no thanks. Like, what if it poops on you? Also, I kinda wanna spite the old geezers in my clan.” Satoru added.
“You raise an excellent point, Gojo. This is one of the reasons why I love being a lesbian. Less of a risk for accidents,” Shoko took a drag from her cigarette.
“I can’t be the ONLY person here who has a list,” you sighed.
“Lemme see that-“ Satoru said as he grabbed your journal from Shoko’s grasp.
“…These are just Fruits Basket and One Piece charact-” Satoru snickered.
“Wait Satoru, have you read the new One Piece chapter yet? I heard it’s crazy.” Suguru cut in.
“Oh, no not yet, I haven’t had a chance to get the new volume,” Satoru whined.
“What are you doing right now? Wanna go pick up some coke from the vending machine, then get to that bookstore in Shinjuku and grab a copy?” Suguru explained with excitement.
“Honestly, a coke sounds amazing right now. Either of you wanna come?” Satoru gestured to you and Shoko.
“Nah, I think we’re gonna go steal some of Yaga’s booze,” Shoko informed.
“Yeah, he’s on a mission for the next day or so. Might as well take advantage of it,” You said, a little defeated and disinterested.
“…’kay see you guys later then.” Satoru said in a sing-songy voice.
Suguru walked up to you, pressed a quick peck on your lips, and said, “I’ll be back. Love you.”
But that wasn’t all.
Under his breath, so that no one else could hear, he whispered, “Don’t think this conversation is over yet, doll,” and walked away as if he hadn’t uttered anything. Your stomach was filled with butterflies and you felt your cheeks go hot as he walked away.
…
Later the same day, May, 2007
You were sitting on Suguru’s lap as he twiddled on his PS3 controller playing one of his games. Suguru was sitting on the floor, his legs criss-crossed while you leaned against his back, feeling his warmth though his clothing. You were sporting one of his large white t-shirts, wearing only your favorite pair of panties underneath.
“Sug?” You question softly, turning around to face him.
“Yeah, doll?” He replied not looking down from his game.
“So…about that comment earlier. Why did you say the conversation wasn’t finished yet? And which one? About the One Piece chapter? Or the baby names? I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable asking that question, I was ju-“
Suguru paused his game and looked at you, a smirk on his face.
“It did the opposite of making me uncomfortable, actually. It made me feel a little more normal, or as normal as we can be given our lifestyle. I have a baby name list too.”
Your heart fluttered. Of course he did.
“I saw the list over Satoru’s shoulder. And we actually had one name in common.”
“Which name?”
“Riko.” He replied softly.
His answer made you happy and sad all at once. You wish you didn’t have that name on your list. Riko Amanai had meant so much to the both of you. She represented the freedom that you could have from Jujutsu Society, as well as everything that was broken and corrupt about it. Riko’s death is what radicalized the both of you. She set you both on a path to work towards a better world.
For a moment, you thought about what your life would be with Suguru had you not been Jujutsu Sorcerers. You would probably get married as soon as you graduated, get a job somewhere. Buy a cozy house in the countryside. Make home cooked meals, have children, adopt some dogs. You would grow old together and not have to constantly worry about the fact that you could die a gruesome death in the morning.
You were lying down on your side now, your back against Suguru’s chest. Suguru moved a hand under your shirt, to your stomach, slowly rubbing circles, drawing you out of your trance.
“I love your tummy, it’s so cute” Suguru sighed into your ear.
You giggled.
“What’s so funny about that, love?”
“I’m sorry that just sounded so funny in the moment.”
“I don’t think it’s that funny, especially when my baby’s gonna be in there one day.”
He said it so nonchalantly and matter-of-factly that you thought you had misheard him. You blushed, hoping you didn’t mishear.
“SUG-“ you turned around and gave a playful slap to his arm.
After a pause of giggling from the both of you, Suguru just couldn’t let the topic get away from you.
“Ya know, I think about it a lot,” he continued.
“Think about what,” you questioned.
“Think about what our future would be like. A house that is actually full of love. And little feet running around.”
“Tell me more,” you said against his lips.
“Maybe we’d live in a really remote village away from everything Jujutsu related. We could get a little farm, raise some sheep, horses, chickens, crops. We could add to the world instead of just taking.”
“Why do we have to wait for the future to do that? Money isn’t the issue here,” You answered, referring to the handsome compensation you receive for such a risky career path.
“True, I could just fuck a baby into you right now.”
“I was talking about the house, and you knew that.” You shot back, a laugh escaping your chest at an attempt to be serious.
“That’s another thing I think about.”
“What?” You were taunting him now. You wanted to see where this was going.
“You, your tummy all round with my baby. God, you look so good when you’re stuffed full f’me,” Suguru slurred. From the dim light of his paused video game, you could see that his pupils were blown with lust. He kissed you hard and messily, tongue intertwining with yours.
Suguru removed your (his) shirt and started to kiss down your body, landing at your breasts, hovering right over a nipple.
“These would look so good with milk. So pretty and soft,” he purred, taking a nipple into his mouth.
The warmth of his mouth felt so good against your pebbled nipples, you couldn’t help but let out a moan. He licked and sucked until you were a drooling, wet mess underneath him.
“You like this, huh. Baby, I’ve barely touched you. And you’re already this worked up?” He taunted, moving to give attention to the neglected nipple.
“What else?” you slurred, ignoring his question. He still hadn’t admitted it.
“Everyone would know who you belonged to. All because of me.” He continued, releasing the nipple from his mouth.
His words sent shivers down your spine, and you felt your arousal start to pool uncomfortably in your underwear. You needed them off.
“Suguru, what do you want?” you asked the obvious question, just wanting to hear him speak more on the topic.
“I wanna stuff your pretty cunt full of cum ‘till you can’t take any more, doll,” he grumbled, grinding his impressive erection on your clothed cunt.
“Wanna get you pregnant so bad,” he continued pressing feverish kisses down the length of your body. “You’ve been asking a lot of questions about what I want.” He made his way to your panties, “But, before I take these off, I need to know what you want.”
Your hole was clenching around nothing at his words, you were getting rather impatient.
“Please touch me.” You whined.
“Hmm, I have been touching you my love,”
“Sugu- stop t-teasin-nghhh.” you moaned as one of his thick fingers started moving in a circular motion on your bud. Soon, one finger became two, and he moved them from your clit to your slick folds, swirling the juices around, occasionally ghosting your eager cunt.
“Suguru gimme your dick,” you begged.
“Baby, one, you can ask nicer than that, where are your manners? And two, I have to get you ready to take me first. Gotta make sure I can fit the most amount of cum in there as possible,” he let out a small moan on the last word.
“Open your mouth, doll,” he commanded.
You complied, opening your mouth as he stuck his two slickened fingers in, pushing them as far back as they could go. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a dark stain forming on his gray sweatpants. He must have been impossibly hard.
Your moans and gasps vibrated against his digits, and when he thought you had been teased enough, he finally offered you the sweet relief of his fingers filling you. Definitely not as large as his cock, but they reached the parts of you that you could not with your own hands. Suguru started thrusting in and out, curling his fingers along the way, hitting your g-spot with brutal precision.
“Sug-nghhh, I’m gonna-”
“Shhh baby, you can let go for me, I got you. So good f’me.”
With the thumb of his hand, he lightly stroked your clit, and you felt the familiar heat bubbling in your core. After a few more thrusts, and praises from Suguru, you were cumming all over his fingers. He helped you through your orgasm, your head full of wool as you came down from your high. Suguru brought his drenched appendages to his mouth and sucked, cleaning your fluids from his fingers.
“If only curses tasted this good. I can’t get enough of you.”
In your post-orgasm clarity, you realized that your boyfriend was still clothed. That wouldn’t do. You sit up, rummaging through sticky sweats and underwear to pull his dick out. A long strand of precum dripped from his tip, breaking away as you pulled him out of his boxers. His penis would never fail to surprise you; he was of average length, but so thick, you could barely close your hand around him. You wrapped two hands around his cock as your mouth watered at the beautiful sight before you. But, just as you were about to taste him, two of his strong hands pushed you back against the bed, forcing you off of his dick.
“What was that for? I wanna suck you off,” you pouted.
“Sorry, doll. We can’t waste any cum,” he said as his nose ghosted against yours.
“But I just wanted to make sure, you never said it out loud. Do you actually want this? Can I actually get you pregnant? Don’t wanna pressure you if it was just a kink.” He looked into your eyes with concern, needing your verbal confirmation to continue.
“Suguru. Put a baby in me.”
You think you broke your boyfriend after saying that. He let out a grunt from deep within his chest and grabbed a pillow from the pile that fell off the bed in during your earlier activities. He placed the pillow underneath your lower back and whispered choruses of “I love you,” on your skin. Suguru’s fingertips traced over your skin, eventually grasping your legs, throwing them over his shoulders.
“I don’t deserve you, doll.” He pressed a quick kiss to your nose.
“This is called a mating press,” Suguru explained as he grabbed his cock and lined up with your twitching hole. “I did some research as to what position would get you pregnant the fastest, and I think this one has a good success rate.” He sounded so methodical in his explanation, which was so in character for him. Of course your Suguru would do research into this. He would do anything for you to make you happy. And you would do the same for him.
When he pushes the head in, you both gasp at the contact. He kept sliding in until his balls slapped against your ass and your pelvic bones met. There was such little resistance, and you let out a sob as he bottomed out.
“You ok, baby? You’re taking me like such a-a, nghhh- good girl. Feels like heaven in your pussy. My pussy.” It was so attractive when he got possessive over you, your ovaries felt like they were about to burst in more ways than one.
“Sugu- ngh- move-“
Instead of moving, he licked the inside of your upper thigh, dragging his tongue impossibly slow to tease you.
“NGH- plea-ahhh please,” you could feel tears pricking in the corner of your eyes. He made it so easy for you to fall apart.
“Good girl, look at you using your words,” he sounded wrecked, his voice gravely with arousal. And with that, he began moving. At first, his thrusts were slow and deep; you could feel every vein and ridge on his dick. His balls slapped against the fat of your ass, creating an embarrassingly loud clapping sound that bounced off of the walls. It felt delicious.
You weren’t just having sex - he was making love to you. It was emotional and sensual. The tears you felt earlier spilled over on to your cheeks as Suguru picked up the pace, his cock pistoning in and out. He kissed your tears away as you muttered broken moans of both his name and explicits.
Suguru’s grip was surely going to leave bruises in the morning. One hand was holding your body in place around your waist, while the other kept your leg over his shoulder. He let go of your leg for a moment as he grabbed another pillow that was somewhere in reach, and gently slid it under your hips so that he could reach you at a deeper angle. Your vision went blurry. He was impossibly deep, you thought you could feel him rearranging your intestines.
Finally, his thrusts started getting sloppier. You knew Suguru was close.
“Gonna fuck my baby into you,” he half moaned. “Fuck, love, I’m close. Want ya to let go first,” and with that, he moved his possessive, bruising touch to rub your clit. After a few rotations around your nub, you let go, your vision going white as you came hard, your cunt clamping down on his cock.
The vice grip of your pussy is what finally sent him over the edge, and Suguru began to fill you up with his thick load.
“Thank you, baby, thank you,” Suguru chanted, like it was a prayer, and you were the goddess who was receiving his offering. You laid like that for a while, him still inside, your hips tilted up to keep his cum inside of you. He left a trail of kisses down your sweat-drenched neck as his cock softened in your walls.
After about fifteen minutes, you felt Suguru starting to fill out again, his body gearing up for round two.
And then three.
And then four.
You lost count of how many times you had cum that night. Your tummy sported a small bump with the amount of Suguru’s seed trapped in your womb. You were so full that you couldn’t possibly take any more. And Suguru loved you like that.
Of course, he loved you always, but this was different. He took one of his large hands and gently massaged your sore, slightly swollen belly, pressing wet kisses all around.
“I hope our baby looks like you,” you whispered into the crown of his head.
“I was just thinking the same thing. I hope our baby at least has your eyes. I get lost in them sometimes,” he responded. “Ya know, your eyes are probably my favorite part of you, besides your tummy. And your beautiful brain. And every other part of you.”
“I love you so much, Suguru. I don’t think I can put it into words. You’re such a good man, so good to me. You’re gonna be the best dad one day,” you confessed.
“Hopefully, that day will be soon,” he smirked, “I’m gonna go get you water and a hot washcloth to clean you up. Want anything to eat?”
You smiled back at him and shook your head, blowing a kiss to him before he left.
You expected yourself to be more freaked out by his comment, “hopefully, that day will be soon,” but you couldn’t help but feel excited. Life as a Jujutsu Sorcerer was so unexpected, you never knew when a mission was going to be your last. You decided it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have a little mini Suguru running around, allowing the three of you to finally have the family that neither you nor Suguru ever did.
…
August 2007
It was a disgustingly hot day outside. You were so sweaty, you felt your clothes sticking to you, and the humidity felt as if you were walking through a sauna.
Since it was so unbearably hot outside, you and Suguru decided it would be a nice day to go to a water park. Of course, that meant Satoru and Shoko had to tag along.
You and Suguru were in charge of packing, as the other two would not have chosen enough food or towels for your journey. They would probably also forget things like sunscreen and umbrellas, opting to fill your beach bags with bottles of booze and sweets. You and Suguru were practically the parents of the friend group at this point; sometimes the other two would even refer to you as “mom and dad.” Suguru would give you a smirk any time this happened, reminding you of the conversation you had back in May.
After you fought Satoru on the fact that he could not in fact take an entire box of ice cream mochi to the water park, you were set to leave on your adventure. The four of you and your bags all piled in the car of an assistant director. Excitement and easy conversation flowed through the vehicle, as all of you relished in the relief of the cool air conditioning.
Shoko sat in the front, smoking a cigarette, choosing which CDs to play, while you sat in the back with Satoru and Suguru. Suguru, being the gentleman that he is, gave you the seat behind the driver’s side. You tried to resist, explaining that he and Satoru would have more leg room if you just sat in the middle, but Suguru insisted.
The four of you finally arrived at the water park about an hour and a half later.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
As you walked through the wooden gates, the park was swarmed with families, teenagers, and college students. There were colorful slides entangled in each other at the center of the park, with a lazy river surrounding it. To the left, there was a wave pool with people attempting to surf, and to the right, there was another large pool with buckets of water that would dump on patrons randomly. The lounge chairs were spread throughout the park, and it seemed like the entirety of Japan had come to this one water park to beat the summer heat.
“Ok guys let’s stay together and try to find some lounge chai-”
“Shoko! I’m gonna beat you down those slides, ready?” Satoru screamed with glee, like a young child.
“Hold on, lemme finish this,” Shoko replied, motioning to her cigarette.
“NO! We. Are. Going. To. Sit. Down. Let’s just stay together, it’s a madhouse here,” You put your foot down.
“If I wanted to be mothered, mother, I would have gone home for the summer,” Shoko rolled her eyes at you. You just ignored her, too bothered by the heat to even come up with a good comeback.
“I sent out a curse to go find us a spot - wait. Where’s Satoru?” Suguru chimed in.
“Let’s be logical about this. Where is the nearest ice cream stand?” You asked.
“Ha, there he is,” Shoko nodded her head towards the nearest ice cream stand. In the line of children, there was one with white hair who was almost as tall as the stand itself. Bingo.
You marched over to the line, and went to tug Satoru by his ear back to the group. Alas, his Infinity was on, and you could not touch him.
“Oof, I would not wanna be him right now, that one has a temper,” Shoko joked, as she put her cigarette out over the trash can next to them, watching you and Satoru argue. In that moment, Suguru couldn’t help but stare at you, taking in how beautiful you looked against the summer sun. You were glowing, radiant, even as you berated his best friend.
“I haven’t seen you look at someone the way you look at her.” Shoko broke Suguru’s thoughts, pulling him out of his trance.
“Yeah.” Suguru responded, smiling.
“Wow, you didn’t even try to deny it,” Shoko smirked back. “OOooo someone’s in looovee,” Shoko teased.
“I am. And I’m so lucky. I love her more than anything in the world,” Suguru said with a content sigh.
“Ok, now you’re just gonna make me vomit, that’s so sappy,” Shoko stuck out her tongue, making a fake gagging sound.
“It’s true,” Suguru responded, still in his trance.
“What if I can treat her better than you,” Shoko teased.
“Maybe,” he said, the slightest flicker of insecurity in his eyes. “I don’t think I deserve her sometimes. She’s not as tainted by curses and cursed energy as I am. She’s not the one who absorbs curses day after day.” He looked tired. Shoko noticed the bags under his eyes, but just as she was about to say something, you came running with Satoru’s wrist in your hand, pulling him with an ice cream cone in his hand. The ice cream was beginning to drip everywhere.
“I can’t believe they only had vanilla. What a ripoff,” Satoru sighed, annoyed.
“You dumbass, you didn’t even get napkins!? How am I supposed to call you a functioning adult, you’re literally about to turn 19, and you didn’t even get napkins?!” You berated him again.
“Oh, looks like the curse found a place for us to sit. It’s keeping the area clear so non-sorcerers aren’t determined to sit there,” Suguru interrupted.
You all walked towards a little spot in the shade with three lounge chairs and a table. You figured you would just share your lounge chair with Suguru and sit in his lap. Or he could use your lap as a pillow and you could braid his hair. Either worked.
Just as you were setting out your towels on the chairs, you heard a PLOP and crying following after. A little kid had slipped and fallen down on the concrete. He used his hands to break the fall, and the skin of his palms were broken a little bit, blood splintering through the cracks. He started hysterically crying.
“Oh no, sweetie! Are you okay? Where is your grown up?” you rushed over to the kid.
“I think I packed a first aid kit in the bag, let me get it,” Suguru added.
Of course he did, that man was prepared for the end of the world.
Suguru took an antiseptic wipe from the kit, and bent down so that he was at eye level with the kid.
“This is probably going to sting, but it will feel better I promise. Your bathing suit is dope by the way, I love the colors,” Suguru cooed at the kid, trying to calm him down.
“You remind me a lot of my little brother, his name is Noritoshi. He’s really brave. Are you brave like him?” you added.
The child stopped his hysterics and let Suguru clean him up, listening to both of your kind words. He nodded his little head of pink hair at your question and pointed towards an elderly man slowly, but frantically making his way over to the kid.
“Yuji! What happened?” the old man asked.
“I falled and getted a boo-boo,” the kid, called Yuji, sniffled.
“He slipped and hurt his hand, we have some antiseptic disinfectant and bandaids though, so we fixed him right up,” you told the man as he got closer.
“He was really brave,” Suguru added, smiling down at Yuji.
“Thank you, so much. You two are very kind,” the man said in a monotone voice. Though his voice showed no emotion, his eyes did. His eyes looked tired, but definitely grateful to the kindness of you and Suguru.
“Feel better, dude!” Suguru yelled to Yuji as his grandfather led him away.
After about an hour of tanning on the lounges with Shoko, you looked to see where the boys went. It wasn’t very hard to spot the two best friends, as they were acting like children, making big waves in the lazy river. On Suguru’s shoulders, you noticed something: the kid with the pink hair from earlier.
Suguru and Satoru were having some sort of chicken fight with him, all three of them laughing and having the time of their lives.
“You are hopeless,” Shoko rolled her eyes, a new cigarette in between her lips.
“What do you mean?” You replied.
“Don’t play dumb, I know what you’re thinking,” she smirked back.
…
September 2007
“Suguru, you look like you’ve lost weight, are you okay?” Satoru asked, as he twirled a pencil in midair with his Infinity technique.
“Just tired,” Suguru responded.
Over the past few weeks, Suguru had developed dark circles and bags under his eyes. He looked pale, and was often exhausted. Not too exhausted for you though, apparently.
It seemed the two of you spent more and more time together holed up in one of your rooms when you weren’t on missions. It was just so nice in your own little world, away from everything. You didn’t have to care about who lived and who died. You only had to focus on each other.
Satoru attempted to carry on the conversation.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“You probably won’t see me for a while again.”
“Yo, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“I need to get out of here. Both of us do. We’re not fit for Jujutsu Society.” Suguru said, referring to the two of you.
“Ha, ha, so funny.” Satoru sarcastically added.
“It’s not a joke.”
“What do you mean? Dude, you’re a special grade, you seriously think they’re gonna let you quit?”
It was true. The elders wouldn’t just let Suguru run away and walk free. If he was not with Jujutsu society, he was probably against it. And letting a special grade sorcerer and his grade one partner roam free would pose a threat to the stability of the elder’s iron grip on the status quo of Jujutsu society.
He’d have to get the elders to denounce and force you out.
So, here you were, flying with the man who was your boyfriend, your one and only, on the back of a curse, headed out for a mission, and hopefully, some much needed seclusion with Suguru.
…
7:03 PM (19:03)
You and Suguru decided to split up for the mission. It had been reported that there was a sighting of two possible curse users and a separate cursed spirit. Thus, Suguru wanted to deal with the curse users, and you to deal with the curse itself.
You exorcized the curse with ease, using piercing blood to slice the monster in half. There were a few other lower level curses, which you could have eliminated with your eyes closed. It seemed too easy. If Suguru was sent on this mission, there had to be something else, another factor. After a few minutes of patrolling for any other cursed energy residue, you decided to find your way back to Suguru.
You found him standing outside of a small house on the outskirts of the village. He seemed out of it; he was staring right at the door, but did not enter. As you approached, you saw the strong cursed energy residue leading from the door.
“Sug, I exorcized those curses. I know you hate the taste of swallowing them, I didn’t want to make you do that if you didn’t have to.” If Suguru heard you, he showed no acknowledgement.
“Suguru?” You pinched the sleeve of his white collared shirt.
“Dude? Did you hear me?” You squeezed his thick bicep, pushing your manicured nails into his skin, effectively bringing him back from whatever plane of reality he was on.
“The locals in the village told me this is the home of two little girls, twins. Their descriptions match the ones for the curse users. So…” He insinuated, leaving the rest for you to figure out. His amber eyes were dark and cold.
“Oh.” You said. You and Suguru had both been through a lot and hated Jujutsu Society. You and Suguru had your incident with Amanai a little over a year earlier, and your uppity clan kept you from your mother, a heartbreaking decision by the family head in order to give you the best possible chance of becoming the leader of the clan. A position which you despised.
Over the past few months, in the afterglow of sex, you two would lay there, embraced in each other's arms, dreaming of a world without curses, without clans, without people to produce those curses. “Monkeys,” as Suguru referred to non-sorcerers, from which curses were created. In your and Suguru’s fantasy world, you wouldn’t even have a reason to use curse techniques. You could get married, have children, live a peaceful life without fear of a curse coming to take that happiness away.
The bottom line is you knew Jujutsu Society was unfair, but never would you think you would be asked to harm a child. What was wrong with these people? You thought of your little brother, Norotoshi, who was also six years old. He was supposed to be your “competition” for the title of family head, but you never really wanted to fight him. He was just your sweet little brother.
How could you harm someone that is the same age as your little brother?
A wave of nausea ran through your body as the reality of the situation dawned upon you. Suguru kneeled down on the floor with you, rubbing your back and holding your hair back as you vomited.
“Shhh, I got you.” He wrapped you in an awkward embrace on the floor, and pressed a kiss to your sweat-sheened forehead. “It’s going to be okay. I have a plan.” Suguru’s entire demeanor changed in an instant. He smiled, but there was no emotion behind his eyes, and his voice sounded like it was coated in honey.
His behavior was strange, but helped you to feel more at ease. Suguru gave you some hope to cling on to.
…
8:46 PM (20:46)
You were both sitting on the stairs leading up to the front of the house. You were leaning on Suguru as he brushed a hand over your hair, occasionally placing a kiss on the top of your head. You had finally finished sobbing into Suguru’s chest after an hour, the teardrops staining through his white collared shirt. You felt so many emotions. Anger at the broken system. Hatred, for the Jujutsu Society elders. Confusion, for what would happen once you committed to your plan. Grief, for the people in your life that you would lose. Betrayal, from the society that was supposed to protect people. Suguru sat with you and validated your feelings, making you feel like you and your emotions were the only things in this world that matter.
The plan was simple. You were both going to defect.
Both you and Suguru were sick and tired of the way the world functioned. You were sick of watching comrades, comrades who were teenagers, who were children, die.
During one of your late night conversations, Suguru once said,
“If being a Jujutsu Sorcerer is like running a marathon…
What if what’s at the end of that road…
Is a mountain of our fellow sorcerers’ dead corpses.”
In that moment, Suguru had played it off as some dark joke, but part of you knew that he was right.
As for the plan, you two were to wait until some of the elders of the village led you into the small house, as they apparently kept multiple locks on it to keep the supposed dangerous young girls at bay. Then, you were going to take the young sorcerers on the back of one of Suguru’s curses and run to Kyoto and find somewhere to stay for the night. Suguru said he would “take care of the rest.” You trusted him with your whole being, even if that meant him ending the lives of a few non-sorcerers. It would serve them right for causing the very existence of curses.
…
9:01 PM (21:01)
The two elders from the village arrived shortly after. You took Suguru’s hand and shared a reassuring glance, his thumb rubbing gently over your hand as if to say, it’s going to be okay. Shaking with exhaustion, anxiety, and some of the nausea from earlier, you slowly made your way up the stairs as the elders parted the shoji doors. The building seemed to be one long room with some sort of wooden cage at the end, almost like the house was made to hold animals at some point.
The building was dimly lit, but you could see the outline of two small figures huddled together in the center of the wooden cage. Your stomach turned once again, and you tightly squeezed Suguru’s hand.
“What is this?” Suguru firmly questioned, his free hand going up to brush his bangs away.
The two of you stepped closer to the makeshift prison, and the two small figures were shaking. As you made your way towards the children, they had obviously been beaten. They were covered in dry blood, scratches and bruises. They both had one black eye.
How could these children, these SIX year olds, legally be kept like this? THESE were the scary curse users that were terrorizing this village? It was disgusting.
“My grandchild was on the verge of death because of these two,” spit the woman who led you in.
“These two use strange powers and often attack the villagers.” defended the other man in your presence.
Suguru dropped your hand and squatted down to be at eye level with the girls, pinching his nose bridge between his pointer finger and thumb.
“So you mean to tell me that you monkeys think that these little girls, these children are responsible for the incidents that have been occuring, is that correct?” Suguru grumbled, his voice icy and dangerous.
“I already dealt with the cause of the incidents, they’re innocent children, what is wrong with you people,” you cried. You were full of rage, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
One of the young girls, clutching a well-loved stuffed animal, bravely spoke up and declared, “We didn’t mean to hurt anyone on purpose, they were trying to-”
“SHUT UP YOU MONSTERS!” The elder woman screamed.
“Your parents were the same. I knew we should have killed you when you were born,” the man added.
“Exactly, twins are bad luck. We should have known better,” the elder woman snorted.
Suguru looked down at the girls and whispered something that would not have been obvious to someone who did not know him as well as you did, “It’ll be okay.”
He started drawing a curse from his arsenal of cursed spirits, and gave you a nod. The signal to go ahead with the plan.
That same silky smooth, almost frighteningly nice, voice that Suguru only used when he was especially angry.
“Let’s step outside for a second, shall we?” Suguru tutted, producing the same pink cursed spirit you flew on to get to the village. He walked out the door with the two older adults and shot you a glance.
I’d end the world for you.
It was the same expression he bore when you confessed your love for each other, all of those months ago.
The girls immediately stood up when they sighted the curse. They were terrified, understandably so. You moved towards the thick metal lock of the wooden cage and knelt down.
“Hey girls, I’m not going to hurt you, I’m here to help. You’re safe. I know it must seem so scary right now, but me and the other man you saw me with are going to get you out of here.”
You told them your name, and assured them that you were like them. Using your piercing blood to cut through the thick lock, you explained to them about your technique and talked to them about your little brother to keep them (and yourself) calm.
As soon as the lock broke, the girls ran to you and hugged you tightly. They were shaking, crying, and clinging to your body. A series of thank you’s flooded from their mouths, and you kissed the top of their heads, attempting to dry their tears away.
“The pink curse over here is going to take us to safety. Suguru, that man who’s talking to them, is also a sorcerer, and he’ll meet us wherever we get to.” you explained.
You sat the girls on the curse side by side, and then climbed in back of them to make sure they did not fall. Using Supernova, you blasted a hole through the roof, and the cursed spirit started to levitate off of the ground. Quickly, you gained altitude and left the village behind. You covered the girls eyes as you looked back, just to see what was happening. The entrance to the house was ablaze and you could make out Suguru’s cursed spirits crawling throughout the village.
Shit. Well, there wasn’t any turning back now.
…
The Next Morning
Overnight, you had flown the girls to a small hostel on the outskirts of Osaka. You purchased a small, private room for the three of you to stay in.
As the sky turned from a deep purple to a ombré of orange and blue, nausea from the previous evening returned in full force. You held yourself over the toilet as you threw up what felt like your entire gut. You stayed like that until you heard four small feet walk into the bathroom behind you.
With the light properly shining on them, you got to see how truly filthy they were. The girl, who called herself Mimiko, had short brown hair that was knotted, matted, and crinkled with dry blood. Her sister, Nanako, was not faring much better. Her blonde curls were also matted, and there was crusted blood left on her forehead. They both were covered from head to toe in bruises, had dark circles around their eyes, and seemed to be alarmingly skinny.
“Um… are you okay?” Nanako asked. You took a deep breath, happy to focus on something other than your churning stomach for a moment.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I think it’s just nerves.” You answered.
“Let’s worry about you two, I’ll run you a bath, then we can go to the 7/11 across the way and pick up some food. Sound good?” You declared.
Mimiko’s stomach rumbled. “I think your belly answered for you, Mimiko,” you chuckled softly.
…
While the girls bathed, you went down to the Lost and Found of the hostel and grabbed a few items that looked like they would fit the twins: some hoodies, leggings, and a skirt. You also fixed yourself up, washing the vomit out of your mouth and splashing your face with hot water from the sink.
Once the girls looked decent enough to go outside without raising suspicion, the three of you ventured out to the 7/11 across the street.
The smell of food was a welcome scent as you walked up and down the rows of food, snacks, and other items. You grabbed whatever you thought a few six year olds would like, and on your way to the cashier, something caught your eye. A row of 100 yen pregnancy tests and other feminine care products. Whether it be a metaphorical gut feeling or the actual nausea that had persisted for the last few days, something told you to purchase a stick to pee on, just in case.You snuck the test into the pile of items you and the girls were purchasing.
When the three of you got to the hostel, the girls scarfed their food down, and you tried to take little nibbles and sips of water. You put the twins down for a nap.
You tried your best not to think about Suguru. You didn’t know what to think of him anymore. The man you spoke to the previous night could not have been your boyfriend. The Suguru you knew would never kill without a point. He would never just murder an entire village of people.
You hoped and prayed that you were wrong. That he didn’t actually harm anyone and just showed off his curses to teach the people of the village a lesson.
Wait.
What if he was killed?
It was all so confusing. You loved Suguru. He’s the one person who seemed to have love for you, besides your younger brother.
Noritoshi. A pang of guilt wracked through your frame, heightening the gurgling of your stomach.
If he murdered those non-sorcerers…you would have been deemed an accomplice.
So…
What would he think?
Your baby brother?
Would he be okay?
He’s a boy with an inherited technique in the Kamo clan. But would people look out for him? Would they keep him from your mother as well?
In your spiral of thoughts, you noticed the 7/11 bag on the counter and remembered the supplies you bought earlier that day. You grabbed it as quietly as possible, as to not wake the girls, and stepped into the bathroom, clutching the goods inside. Your hands were shaking from lack of food over the past day and a half, but as carefully as you could, you retrieved the pregnancy test from the bag.
The box was small, but felt so heavy in your hand.
Why not? It probably won’t be positive, you told yourself.
Why do I have to convince myself it won’t be positive, you thought.
You know what, it will get my brain off of Noritoshi and Suguru for a bit, you reasoned, pulling apart the tucked in top of the box.
After you fully unwrapped it, you read the directions, and followed suit. You put the test in the cup on the sink of the bathroom, and walked out to see the clock in the room. You waited five minutes until the results developed.
Wait…this was probably a bad idea.
What were you thinking?
This was so stupid why would you go and do this in the first place?
You needed to get some air, your chest felt tight. You felt the nausea creeping back again.
Suguru, where are you?
You grabbed a room key off of the counter and slowly walked out into the hallway, desperately trying to keep yourself from waking the girls. One of the first things that caught your eye in the hallway was a vending machine.
Maybe some soda would help settle your stomach?
You walked over to the machine and plucked a few coins from your pocket, listening to them clink through the slot. You selected a Ginger Ale and Coke, reasoning that if you didn’t drink it, Suguru would when he got back.
If he got back.
No. You can’t think like that.
You took as long as you could getting back to the room, stepping on every other square of the carpeted floors, trying to ground yourself back to reality somehow. You arrived at the door a few minutes later and opened the door.
The windows in your room were wide open, allowing a little breeze to blow the curtains. You dropped both bottles of soda.
You had locked the windows before leaving the room. You made sure of it.
You panicked, running for the girls to make sure they were okay. Alas, they were sleeping soundly, no new scratches or blood on them.
You turned your attention to the bathroom, where the door was closed and you heard some rustling.
Slowly making your way towards the door, you lined up your piercing blood technique, in case you were about to be attacked.
“Baby, is that you?” you heard from the other side of the door.
“Suguru.” You didn’t know if you should be more frightened or relieved.
Part of you wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and kiss the scratches and dried blood away from him. Other than that, he looked relatively unharmed. His usual neat bun was not apparent on the top of his head, instead he let his hair hang loose, his bangs tied up in a messy half-up-half-down. He was dressed in all black, a dark oversized crew neck and baggy black sweats. As insinuated by the dark bags under his eyes, he didn’t look like he had eaten or slept in the past day or two.
“Whose blood is that? Yours? Or someone else’s.”
“That’s one way to say hello.”
“Answer.”
“Doll, what’s wrong?”
“Suguru, are you okay?”
“My love, I took care of everything. We’ll be safe for the next few days, alright. We just have to lay low for a little while.”
“Suguru, answer me.”
“Shhh, everything is okay, doll. Your body's working overtime right now, and the pregnancy hormones can’t be helping.”
What?
You stared at him. No way.
“That test is your’s, right?” he questioned, his face filled with concern. “It’s positive.”
You stared at him, then at the test. It was.
“I- I’m gonna be a dad,” Suguru’s face cracked into a sincere smile.
He picked you up and spun you around, planting kisses all over your head and face.
“And you’re gonna be a mom! To my baby. Our baby. You’re gonna be the best mommy, you're so good with kids.”
You stayed silent; you were still processing everything that just happened.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he cradled your face gently in his hands.
You stood frozen, thinking of words to say, but they never made it out of your mouth. Your vision went blurry with water, and the churning feeling you had been trying too hard to suppress returned to your stomach. You gagged, running over to the toilet.
As you held yourself over the bowl, your body felt like it was trying to expel all of your organs out through your mouth. Suguru leapt to your side and held your hair back as you threw up, rubbing soothing circles into your back.
“Shhh, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out, this is just one of the best things that’s ever happened.” Suguru cooed.
You took a deep breath and wiped any stray vomit from your lips with the back of your hand.
As you hurled your guts out, you felt his large, warm hand, rubbing circles on the small of your back. The other of his hands went to hold your hair out of your face.
You stayed like that for about an hour, just sitting there, pondering your impending motherhood.
Mother.
You were going to be a mother.
It simultaneously freaked you out and surprised you. Suguru, the person you loved most in this world, actually got you pregnant. Of course he did. He always stuck to his word.
When that man was committed to something, he was going to have it. He was possessive, territorial even. That made him all the more dangerous, but it wasn’t him you were afraid of or for. You were afraid for the rest of the world.
I’d end the world for you.
His promise echoed in the back of your mind.
“Sweetheart, it is going to be okay. I think I may have gotten too overexcited and freaked you out. You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to, I’m here for whatever you need. But, thank you. Thank you for this precious gift.”
It was a gift that forever linked the two of you together.
…
September 2007
You found her waiting on a bench in the center of Shinjuku, trying to find something in her pockets, probably a lighter for her cigarette.
“Hey, need a light?” Suguru asked, offering out a lighter.
“Hi,” you waved shyly.
“If it isn’t the criminals, trolling girls who smoke?” Shoko replied
“Just testing our luck I guess, '' Suguru joked.
“Mmhmm, well, I’ll go ahead and ask. Any chance the charges are fake?”
“No, unfortunately not
“Then I’ll ask another question, why?”
“To create a world of only Jujutsu Sorcerers,”
“We don’t want anymore of our comrades to die,” you doubled down on Suguru’s point.
“Ha, that doesn’t make sense, but whatever,” Shoko said, picking up her phone and dialing a number. Someone on the other line answered.
“Hey, Gojo?
Yeah, found ‘em.
Shinjuku.
No way, I don’t wanna get killed.” She said before quickly hanging up.
“Do you have the thing we talked about?” Suguru asked before walking towards the area his best friend was said to be.
“Yes, I’ve got her,” Shoko looked into his eyes,
“Okay, I love you,” Suguru said, placing a kiss on your forehead and walking off.
Shoko put her cigarette out.
“Shoko I’m okay, just, um, okay how do I put this…”
“Dude, spit it out, you're scaring me.”
“I’m pregnant.” you blurted out.
“Shit.” the mousy brunette replied.
“No, it’s okay, really, I’m happy, we’re happy, just…scared - ”
“Did you not use protection? You of all people? The mom friend? Well, now, I guess literal mom friend,” Shoko put her hands in her hair, scrunching it out of stress, “And you’re a fugitive! Both you and Geto have been sentenced to death by the elders. Jesus Christ Y/N, how the fuck are you going to raise a child as a fucking criminal.”
“I’m sorry Shoko, I-I couldn’t,” your last word was muffled by the huge lump in your throat. You knew Shoko of all people would rip you a new one, but you didn’t expect it to hurt this much. Tears clouded your vision, and you were sobbing so violently, that you started to choke on the snot and water running down your face. People were staring.
“Woah, dude. Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here now,” Shoko reached down to wipe some of the snot off of your face with the sleeve of her uniform. “Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up, I have some supplies that I brought in my bag.”
Shoko grabbed your hand and led you into the nearby metro station. You rushed past the crowds of people, until you made your way into the gate. Shoko kept leading you further underground until you reached a room that was sectioned off for mothers and infants.
“Get inside, we shouldn’t be bothered in here for a while,” Shoko stated, her tone gentle. You walked in, and she locked the door behind you.
The room was small, but cozy. There was an infant changing table to the right, and to the left, there was a small blue couch with a table next to it. There were a few blankets packaged in sanitary wrappers laying on the side of the couch, and the room was decorated with pastel flowers all around. You felt completely safe for the first time in a while.
“Sit,” Shoko commanded. You complied and took a seat on the couch.
“I got one of those portable ultrasound things from the infirmary. I don’t know why we have these things but, hey, it’s coming in handy.”
“How did you know to bring an ultrasound kit with you?” you asked suspiciously.
“Oh, Geto told me to bring one. So, I kind of already figured you were pregnant, or you had some kind of internal bleeding. But with the way he was being so secretive, I figured the former.” Shoko replied, fiddling with the machine. It looked like a tiny foldable computer, the probe attached to a wire that fed into the screen.
She KNEW???
“If you knew, then why the fuck did you make me say it out loud?” you demanded.
“Because I needed to be sure this wasn’t a trick or something to kill me,” she shot back, “If ya didn’t know, your boyfriend -”
“Fiancé -”
“Fiancé, whatever, killed an entire village of people.”
“I know, but he did what he had to do. We’re trying to make the world a better place, a place without curses, so you don’t have to keep seeing people die.” You refuted.
“I’m not talking to you about this right now, I’m here to make sure you and the fetus inside of you are okay. You chose your path, and I chose mine. I’m not trying to change your mind, what’s done is done. I don’t support what you two did, but you’re still my best friend. I’m here for you,” Shoko finished and scooched on the couch to give you a hug. You were crying again, fat tears streaming down your cheeks.
After five minutes, you two finally parted, and Shoko reached into her bag to produce some supplies. She pulled out sanitizer, a bottle of gel, a pair of gloves, and a little blue cloth. Shoko sanitized her hands, and gave some to you as well. She then put the pair of gloves on and asked you to pull up your shirt to reveal your abdomen. Finally, she tucked the blue cloth into your pants, so that the gel would not get on it.
“This might feel cold. I also don’t really know if I’m doing this 100% right, so, you should probably find someone with a medical degree and not just reverse curse technique to look at you,” Shoko added, the usual banter reappearing between you two.
She squeezed some of the cold jelly-like substance on your abdomen. You winced at the uncomfortable feeling. Shoko took the end of the probe and started gently pushing it around on your stomach. After about a minute, something appeared on the little screen.
Woah.
That’s your kid. Your and Suguru’s baby. You started crying again.
You loved them already, and only wished Suguru could have been here to see this.
“Yeah, there’s a whole-ass kid in there,” Shoko confirmed.
“As opposed to a half-ass kid?” You joked. Shoko laughed.
Next, Shoko reached into her bag, producing a thick textbook. She turned to a page that was marked by brightly-colored post-it notes.
“Okay, based on this development textbook, you’re probably about 9 to 10 weeks along. Can you use your technique and give me a blood sample fast?”
9 to 10 weeks.
That’s a lot farther along than you thought.
You took a deep breath. “Okay,” and slowly produced a handful of blood from your palm, dropping it with a PLOP into the test tube Shoko held out for you.
“I’ll run a test on this once I get back to the infirmary at school, I just wanna check your hGC levels to make sure they’re good. But in the meantime, start taking these,” she produced yet another item from her bag. “They’re prenatal vitamins. Also, I know Geto has to have some connections somewhere with doctors. Have him find one for you. I can check on you once in a while, but not all the time or it will get suspicious. I love you, but I’m also an eighteen-year-old who doesn’t have a medical degree yet. I’ll leave first with Satoru to make sure there aren’t any sorcerers around so that you and Geto can escape. Stay safe and healthy, please,”
“Safe and healthy, coming from the chainsmoker?” You joked.
Shoko rolled her eyes as she gave you a final hug, exiting the room, leaving you alone with the bag of medical supplies and textbook.
…
Mid January, 2008
As the months passed, you did not think it possible, yet you fell deeper in love with Suguru. He doted on you and the twins constantly, spoiling you with gifts, having his followers help construct a lavish living space for you in the back of the monastery. Mimiko and Nanako shared a large room, their western-style four poster beds were adorned with silks and all of the stuffed animals they could desire. They had large walk-in closets full of dress-up gowns and expensive designer brands.
“Only the best for my girls,” Suguru would say.
As for you, he had a beautiful master suite built, the double walk-in closet filled with comfortable, yet elegant, maternity clothing and a California king bed dwarfing the rest of the room. The walls were painted white with navy and gold accents throughout the room.
When he was not tending to his cult, Suguru also kept you close to him as much as possible. Sometimes, he would even have you sit with him as you both tended to his followers throughout the day, him consuming their curses and you collecting their money.
Though he saw you as an equal, he was still overly protective and territorial of you now that you were carrying his child. He would sit you down on his lap in front of your followers, his hands caressing your now-evident baby bump, proclaiming to both you and the people in the cult that you were a goddess among mere mortals. When the monastery was empty, sometimes he would just sit and hold you, breathing in your scent. You would sit like that for an hour sometimes, him feeling the baby kick against his large palms, trailing kisses up and down your nape. You would curl yourself up as much as you could to put your ear to his chest, his heartbeat drumming with excitement.
When you weren’t helping Suguru, you were with the twins. Playing with them, going on walks, teaching them little things about the world that they missed while living in that cursed village. They were really excited to have a new sibling and talked about all of the clothes they would dress the new baby in. You had to remind them, of course, that the baby was not a doll. They also threw out name suggestions, but you had to tell them that unfortunately, “Princess,” and “Hello Kitty,” were not appropriate names to call their soon to be baby sibling.
At the end of your long days tending to the needs of non-sorcerers that were actually useful to your cause, Suguru would have you both change out of your robes and start to cook dinner while you played with the girls. True, he could have hired someone to cook for your little family, but he wanted to take it upon himself to make sure that you were getting all of the nutrients and rest you and the twins possibly could.
You somehow succeeded in carving out a nice life for yourself under the harshest of circumstances. Sure, it wasn’t the utopia you and Suguru had always imagined all of those nights back at Jujutsu High, but you had a little family of your own and were working towards a better, safer world.
…
After he finished tucking the girls into bed one night, you curled up with Suguru on the couch, your head tucked against his chest, and knees in between his hips, using him as a body pillow. One of his hands was around you and the other was used to cradle his head on the arm of the couch as you both laid there.
None of your pre-maternity pants fit you anymore, so you threw on a pair of Suguru’s gray sweats and a white t-shirt. You practically lived in his clothes at this point.
He started rubbing small, gentle circles on your swollen belly, seemingly in awe of your changing body. If you ever got insecure about your stretch marks, or how much weight you gained, he would make you stand in front of the mirror in your shared chambers, kissing every inch of your body. In the shower, he would take the time to wash your hair and help you shave. He wanted to let you know that you weren’t alone. Suguru was right there the whole time.
You felt a fluttering in your stomach where he was rubbing your belly, and Suguru gasped, breaking the serene silence.
“Hi, baby,” he whispered to your bump. Joy flashed through his tired eyes as his lips curved into a dopey smile. Then, he leaned up to press sweet, wet kisses into your neck.
“The most beautiful woman in the world. How did I get so lucky?” Suguru cooed.
“You’re stunning,” he continued, pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss.
Since falling pregnant, you were sensitive to the slightest touch. Your fiancé was sensitive to the slightest glance from you. Your sexual appetites had grown increasingly insatiable.
From his words and kisses, you could feel yourself drenching your underwear. As Suguru’s tongue continued to slither into your mouth, you absentmindedly started grinding against his muscled thigh, the friction feeling delicious on your clit.
“Ngh- Sugu- p-please touch me. No teasing. Need you,” you moaned.
“Do you need my fingers? I bet I can take you right now from how soaked you are,” he purred.
“Don’t care. Want something inside,” you whined.
“Lemme check you first. Don’t wanna hurt you.” And with that, he felt your soaked, clothed cunt through your pants and underwear. You were so wet, that a dark, sticky patch was starting to form on your sweatpants. You nearly ripped the pants off of you in the midst of your carnal need to have some part of him, any part of him, filling you.
Suguru got right to work, stripping you of the layers concealing you from him. After a few circles on your clit, he sunk his middle finger into your cunt. There was no resistance; he was able to sink his finger all the way down to his knuckle. So, he added a second finger, which you took just as easily.
You felt relieved to finally have something for your fluttering hole to suck on, but you needed more. You needed to be stuffed to the brim, completely full of him.
“Suguru I need you inside,” you gasped, your cunt continuing to clench on his thick fingers.
“Whatever you want, my love,” he replied, slipping his fingers out. You almost cried at the loss of contact, but you knew you were about to be rewarded tenfold. Suguru pushed his sticky fingers into your mouth as he rearranged the two of you. You licked his fingers clean, and he let out an unrestrained moan at the way you deepthroated his digits.
Suguru sat you up, and scooted himself against the back of the sofa. He took his length out from his underwear, letting it smack his stomach, the tip weeping precum. Suguru removed his fingers from your mouth and used the remaining spit to cover his cock; a makeshift lube for the two of you. While he stroked himself, you climbed up on his lap and attacked his mouth with fiery, desperate kisses.
He helped you remove your top, and then shed his remaining clothing articles. When he took your top off, you could tell that Suguru’s thoughts about the day had gone out the window. Suguru always had a fascination with your tits, now even more so that your tits had grown at least 2 cup sizes since pregnancy. He took one of your pert nipples into his mouth, sucking softly and grinding up into your wet heat, letting a grunt rumble through his chest.
“Love, please,” you cried out, tears threatening to spill down your face.
With your pleading, he helped you to climb on top of him and lined his cock up with your greedy cunt. You slowly sunk down on his dick, feeling every ridge and vein inside of you. You both hissed as he breached your tight hole.
Finally, you thought.
Suguru resumed his sucking on your nipple, moaning around your soft mound, sending vibrations through your body. You were so overstimulated and sensitive that you felt like you were about to cum right there and then.
He could feel that you were close by the death grip you had on his cock. So, he reached one of his large hands down from your waist and found your clit. You sunk your nails into his wide shoulders in response.
“Give it to me,” Suguru growled on his way to give your other nipple the same treatment.
The coil in your tummy snapped, the sensations driving you hard into your climax. Suguru moved to nibble on your earlobe, whispering what a good girl you were.
As you came down from your high, Suguru’s hands moved down to your bump, staring in awe.
“I told you I love this tummy,” he commented, his large hand splaying across your bellybutton. He pressed his forehead against yours. “I think it’s so beautiful, that your body submitted to mine.”
“Mr. Geto,” you said with a fake gasp, sarcasm dripping from your voice, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re getting off on my predicament, you pervert.”
“Touché,” he smirked. “I think it’s hot your body is going through all of these changes, just because of me. You’re mine,” he growled out the last words.
“I’m yours,” you confirmed.
“Suguru, I’m tired, I don’t know if I have the energy to ride you like this.” You realized he still hadn’t cum yet, he was probably in pain with the deep arousal he felt.
“Okay, I’ll carry you to bed and we can finish there,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead and slipped out of you, your juices trailing behind in a sticky string where you were formerly connected
He then picked you up, bridal style, and started the short walk towards your room. The cool air felt sensitive against your hot pussy and swollen clit, your arousal and cum now rolling in small beads down the back of your thighs.
He set you on your side on top of your California king mattress, covered in fine fabric sheets. Then, he took one of the large decorative pillows and pushed it in between your knees to allow him easy access to your cunt. This position would also allow some relief to your aching lower back. Suguru knew you loved it when he massaged your back, so he started there, pushing circles into the sore muscle and kissing up your spine.
His erection rubbed up against the back of your thighs, rendering the both of you delirious.
When you both couldn’t take it anymore, he finally slipped into your warm, wet heat again.
“How would you like me to fuck you, love?” Suguru questioned.
“Slow and deep. Wanna feel all of you,” you drooled.
“Mmm, sounds perfect,” he responded, pressing wet kisses into your neck. With that, Suguru started a long, deep thrust into the depths of your pussy. You felt every part of him; every ridge, every vein. You made a sound that you didn’t even know could come out of you.
Suguru picked up the pace a little bit, leaving little whimpers and groans in your ear as he rutted into you. Suguru was usually pretty reserved during sex, but he recently started to be more vocal for you. It spurred you on even more, made you even more aroused, which felt impossible at this point.
“I love it when you whimper-nGHH,” you moaned, as Suguru punctuated the end of your sentence with a particularly harsh thrust. The sex started to feel desperate, animalistic almost. Suguru felt something primal within him snap. He needed to fill you, to stuff you so full, he would watch his cum leak out of your pussy.
“Suugguuhh-“ you felt your second orgasm of the night closing in on you.
“Cum with me, doll, lemme fill you, ngh, u-up,” he grunted, moving a hand down to toy with your clit. “You look s-so good, full of me. Ngh- your tummy all round, tits all plump, making milk for my m-my baby,”
For some reason, that sent you over the edge, clamping down on his cock and coming hard. Your cunt sucked him in with a firm grip, and you could feel that he was close too. As he continued to fuck you through your climax, his heavy balls slapped once more against your thighs, and he came with a gasp, a series of, “I love you’s” and “Thank you’s” flooding from his mouth.
He fucked himself through his orgasm, and finally collapsed into the mattress. After a few minutes, Suguru pulled out, watching in awe as his release dripped out of your hole. His fingers traveled down to the mess the two of you made and swiped his pointer and middle fingers through your folds.
“I probably sound like a broken record, but I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve you,” he said, kissing the top of your head, moving both of his hands to rest on your bump again.
“C'mon, let’s clean you up, doll,” he said, trying to drag you out of bed. But you were already fast asleep.
Suguru smiled to himself, running to the bathroom to get some warm compresses and clean towels. When he finished cleaning you up as best he could, he made his way to his closet, where he fetched his favorite graphic t-shirt. He handled you with more care than he would a butterfly or a flower as he dressed you, and headed to the bathroom to clean himself up.
After he deemed himself decent enough, Suguru walked over to your sleeping form and bent down to the level where your belly was. He criss crossed his hands and rested his chin on them.
“I love you and your mommy so much, little one. You’re so loved already,” he whispered, reaching one of his hands towards your belly.
Suddenly, he felt a small fluttering beneath his hand. Suguru smiled, his eyes alive with pride and wonder.
…
The next morning, you awoke to the smell of something delicious.
And four little feet running across the floor.
“Shhh, Nanako, you’re gonna wake up Kamo-san,” Mimiko warned her sister.
“It’s okay girls, I’m already up,” you sighed, yawning. “You girls sleep good?”
“Yeah. Can we get crepes today?” Nanako asked, changing topics rather quickly.
“It depends on what time me and Suguru get done at the monastery, but there should be enough time. The baby has been craving some chocolate,” you chuckled.
“I have a new name for the baby,” Mimiko declared, starting to climb on your bed.
“Oh, yeah? What?” You scoop her up and bring her into your lap somewhat successfully.
“Peach. Like the princess,” Mimiko said, matter of factly. She looked down right proud of herself.
“Mimiko, that’s a fruit. I think it should be Sparkles,” Nanako responded back to her sister.
“Well, we’ll have time to think about what the baby’s name should be, but for right now…I think we should eat some breakfast and see who can get dressed the fastest,”
“Geto-san made some breakfast,” Mimiko stated.
“And I helped,” Nanako exclaimed, attempting to have her voice heard in the conversation.
“I helped too,” Mimiko scolded with jealousy.
“Why don’t you girls go help set the table too and I’ll be there in a minute,” you said, pressing kisses to their foreheads.
“Fineee,” Mimiko rolled her eyes playfully.
You freshened up, brushing your teeth and wrapping your body in a luxurious silk robe Suguru had purchased for you.
As you made your way down the long corridor and into the kitchen, you could hear the sizzle of something cooking. You turned the corner to find Suguru, shirtless, standing over the stove of your enormous kitchen. You decide to sneak up on him, letting your finger creep around his waist as you pulled him back into a hug. You couldn’t press yourself flush against him, as your stomach got in the way.
“There’s my girl,” Suguru cooed.
“You’re making breakfast?” You beamed with tears in your eyes at the stack of American-style pancakes next to the stove. For some reason, this small gesture was making you really emotional.
“Of course, baby. I let the chef take off this morning to spend some time with my beautiful girls before I have to head over,” he replied, snaking his arm back to grab on to yours and place a kiss on your palm.
It was so domestic. It was so normal.
“Okay, order’s up. Mimi, Nana, will you help me put these on the table?” Suguru asked.
“Yes Geto-san,” Mimiko sang as she skipped towards the tower of the fluffy, golden deliciousness.
“Thank you, sweetie,” Suguru whispered, giving her hair a ruffle.
…
After the pancakes were eaten, and the syrup had ended up on the faces of the twins and Suguru, you pried the girls out of their seats to get dressed for the day. You and Suguru headed back to your quarters to change into your robes.
As you let the luscious silk fabric cascade off of your body as down to the floor of your shared closet space, you felt the presence of your fiancé behind you.
“Hi,” he smirked into your shoulder, starting to press kisses up your neck.
“Hi,” you whispered back.
One of his large hands reached down to your bump, caressing it with the lightest of touches.
“Can I listen to her?” He asked like a giddy child.
“My love, you never have to ask, you’re always welcome to,” you beam as he excitedly makes his way towards your protruding bump. “Baby’s been hanging out towards the bottom today if you want to feel them move,” you added.
“Hi baby girl, this is your da-”
“Baby girl? What makes you think the baby's a girl?”
“What makes you think she’s not?” he quipped, his usual banter-like tone making you giggle.
“As a wise man once said to me; touché.” The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, soaking in each other’s presence. After all, slow moments like this would be rare when the baby arrived.
Your peace was disrupted by a loud knock at the door.
“Geto-sama, Kamo-san, there is someone here to see you, he says it is urgent” you heard Suguru’s assistant shout through the door.
“Tell whoever it is that they have no right to request my presence. I will meet with them when I am in my proper attire,” Suguru snapped.
“Of course, master. It’s just… this kid…”
“No exceptions, I don’t care if it’s Satoru fucking Gojo himself, whoever it is can wait,” Suguru pressed, getting annoyed now.
“Yes, of course, I wi-AHHHHHH,” a blood curdling scream erupted from the other side of the door, followed by a loud thump.
Sensing danger, Suguru leapt into action, putting himself in front of you and summoning a curse. “Who’s. There,” he demanded.
Blood started to leak under the door and into the marble tiles of your room.
Suddenly, the door flew open to reveal the collapsed assistant on the floor, covered in her own blood. Next to the body, there was the figure of a small boy drenched in the scarlet substance.
“Noritoshi?” you questioned, tears filling your eyes.
…
END OF PART I
dividers by @bunnysrph
#geto#jjk#jjk geto#jjk suguru#jujutsu kaisen fic#suguru smut#suguru geto smut#suguru x you#jjk x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru x you#jjk spoilers#gojo satoru#shoko ieiri#fem reader
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#had a conversation today (hi joe if you're reading) about shared cultural malaise and the sense that time is falling out from under us#specifically after 2020 and the lockdowns. that like there's something more wrong than usual. it's lonelier and stranger and moreunpleasant#if you have any thoughts on that (and not just january feeling like a weird month) feel free to let me know in the tags or replies etc.#btw this is a reminder to wear masks when you're going out. and get the latest vaccine bc they're usually available for free#like. i don't want long covid. you don't want long covid. many lovely people don't want long covid. let's all work to avoid long covid 👍#beepbeep.txt#polls
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..
#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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Stray Kids Reaction - You Disappear While Pregnant [Mafia Edition]
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
TW: mentions of violence, blood and swearing
CHAN:
Things had been feeling weird all day to Chan, you hadn't replied to any of his messages when usually you were the text-back immediately type of person - with him at least. But he tried to put off the uneasy feeling he got when he thought about it all, the two of you were strong as a couple and him worrying you about not replying wasn't the type of man that he was.
"Changbin, make sure Yn has had something to eat today," Chan said as he came through the door of your shared home, expecting to see you curled up on the sofa doing something but you were nowhere to be seen. It was unlike you to not come and greet him so he figured maybe you were tired and had gone to sleep. Maybe even just popped into the garden and hadn't heard him arrive home.
"She's not here," Changbin called from upstairs, panic began to wash over Chan as he thought through his day. You hadn't said anything the night before about going out and you hadn't been responding to him. Within seconds Chan was making his way up the stairs and into your shared bedroom where he found some of your clothes missing and a suitcase was gone too.
"Fuck! Fuck!" Chan screamed making his way to the bathroom and finding a bunch of your overnight supplies were missing too. This wasn't like you, you weren't the type to run away and it wasn't as though the two of you had just had a fight. Everything was going great for you both, god, you were getting married in less than a year now and Chan thought everything was okay.
"I've started a search and Felix is watching the cameras to see where she went. We'll find her." Changbin said as he watched Chan in the bathroom, he was just sitting on the edge of the tub looking down at the floor trying to rack his brain for any reason you might have done this.
"Just find her, tell me when you do but don't make a move." He mumbles, standing up from the side of the tub and knocking over a bin failing to notice the positive pregnancy test that had fallen onto the floor.
It had been eight months since you walked out on Chan and they had been the worst eight months of your life, every day was a struggle and it didn't help that you were pregnant.
"Not now, please not now." You groaned as you held onto your bump, letting out a sharp breath as you tried your best to ignore the pain in your back. God, it felt as though someone was stabbing you repeatedly as you prayed for the train to hurry and arrive where you needed to be.
"Mummy, that woman peed herself." A little girl giggled before the train stopped and you hurried off of it and in the direction of some metal seats on the train station platform. It wasn't time, it was too early for the baby to be coming right this second and you were nowhere near a doctor and you weren't about to give birth to your baby on a train platform.
"Do you need me to call you an ambulance?" The mother of the little girl asked as she made her way over to you, you studied her face for a second before nodding your head. You'd grown a little paranoid since running away from Chan, you knew he was probably doing everything within his power to find you and it wasn't something you wanted to happen. You needed him to stay away from you,
"That won't be necessary." A voice said from the side, you stared over in the direction to see a very panicked-looking Chan making his way toward you. There was sweat dripping down his forehead and he was red in the face, clearly, he'd been running but you had no idea how he'd found you. You weren't in Seoul anymore, you left the second you had the chance to.
"She needs medical attention, she's in labour." The woman argued but you couldn't get words out to tell her to stop you were in far too much pain.
"I'll get her to the hospital," Chan said before Felix and Jeongin escorted the lady and her daughter away and you whimpered a little.
"Channie-" You whimpered out, tears streaming down your cheeks,
"It's nice to know you still like that nickname," His voice came out cold as a group of men began to make their way over to you and you stared at the one in the centre before trying to get up.
"Sit." He ordered gently placing his hand on your shoulder.
"I-I need to go, I can't be near you." You hissed trying to move but Chan was holding your hand, refusing to let you go.
"C-Channie please." You begged your eyes scanning the man at the other end of the platform.
"He said we can't...W-We can't be together." Just like that everything began to click into place for Chan. The only reason you'd left the way you did months ago was because of Hongjoong, he'd told you that it wasn't the right thing for Chan and threatened you to leave without saying anything.
"Who did?" He growled out, your eyes flicking behind him.
"Hongjoong...He said a baby will ruin things." Time suddenly moved slowly as you watched Chan stare over at his advisor and back down at you.
"That's why you ran?" You hated that you couldn't answer him with words and nodded at him.
“Fuck what they think, fuck what anyone thinks. It won't ruin anything, our little baby will only make things better." He promised you as you heard sirens coming.
He was right, of course, he was he always was, but your little girl had only made things better between you and Chan and even made some of his men more loyal to him. They protected you more than ever whenever you were out alone with just you and your little girl and Hongjoong had been demoted so he was no longer able to speak to you - something you'd begged Chan to do instead of killing the man
MINHO:
Everything was too much when you were with Minho and everything pushed you over the edge until there was no coming back from it. For a while, it seemed that all the two of you ever did was fight and scream at one another and you'd finally had enough and just left. No note, you'd choose a week where you knew he was going to be so busy with his own world that he wasn't going to notice you gone. A week gave you enough time to disappear into the world with a new identity and to create a whole new life for yourself.
Or so you'd thought.
It had been even harder to do this for yourself since you happened to be pregnant. Something you had no idea at the time of running away until it was too late. It wasn't until your third month when you found out and there was no way you were going back, even if you didn't think you could raise a baby alone you were still going to do everything within your power to try.
"Are you sure you're okay walking home alone? I can get Angel to walk with you." Your boss stated as he watched you heading for the door of the bar. Angel was one of the bouncers who worked there, someone who looked like he could scare the stripes off a tiger.
"Nah, I'm good. I'll catch the train so there's no point." You shrugged before heading out into the dark of the night and making your way through the alleyway.
For eight months your life had been good, you'd gotten away from Seoul and everyone who ever knew you, you had a new identity you went by and no one could connect you to Minho anymore. You worked your own job, had your own place - sure it wasn't the best but it was still home - and your boss was even letting you bring your kid to work since he knew how badly you needed the money.
"So this is where you've been hiding?" A voice sounded from behind you and you didn't need to see him to know it was Minho and it felt like your whole world was coming down around you.
"How did you find me?" Your voice shook but you didn't turn around to face him just yet, you didn't know if he knew about your pregnancy.
"It wasn't easy. I taught you well."
"I was a fast learner." You mumbled a little, you knew this was going to end with him seeing your bump but you couldn't bring yourself to face him.
"Why did you run off, little bird?" The nickname he had for you made your heart flutter and you hated that he still had that kind of effect on you after all this time. But then again, it didn't matter how much time passed you still found yourself hopelessly in love with him.
"I had my reasons." You pulled your coat tighter around yourself but it did little to hide the bump that you were sporting,
"Another man?" You scoffed a little at him you both knew that there was no way you'd ever do that to him.
"You know I'd never do that."
"True. So what was it?" You heard his steps getting closer to you until he was right behind you and you slowly turned to face him, letting your coat fall down to the sides.
"Pregnant," His voice came out in a whisper and he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"You need to come back." He stated plainly, his eyes not leaving the bump you had but you were shaking your head at him,
“I don't think I can come back. Too much has happened, too much…water has passed under the bridge. I can't do with the fights anymore Minho, I can't." You choked out before you felt a pain in your back and you bent over a little clutching onto your stomach.
"You're pregnant with my child, you're coming home."
"N-No...I need the hospital," You whimpered looking at Minho who was already on the phone to emergency services.
"I've had Felix and Changbin fix the office into a nursery," Minho told you as he walked into the room to see you feeding your little boy.
"Did you tell them about needing to get more diapers?"
"I've got Chan and Seungmin on that job," He smiled proudly walking over and kissing the top of your head. It was going to take a long time to repair your relationship but a family together was something you were going to build from.
CHANGBIN:
You'd walked out on him, you'd just packed up your shit and walked away from him. You'd seen no point in staying in a relationship with someone who was never even there for most of it, missing birthdays and anniversaries that the two of you were supposed to share. You'd just walked out and tried to never look back, but it was damn near impossible when you were pregnant with his kid. Something he was also never there for, he'd never shown any interest in your baby, never came to appointments or shopping with you.
"Do you think he knows we're here?" You asked your bump as you looked out of the window. You were six months pregnant and constantly on the run which wasn't good, your doctors told you it wasn't good but what were you meant to do when one of the most powerful men in the world was looking for you?
There were sirens outside and you slid back into bed, sighing a little as you tried your best not to focus on what was going on outside. You were in one of the sketchiest neighbourhoods you'd ever seen and you were praying the lock you had on the door would be enough to keep you safe tonight.
“I've already lost her once I'm not going to lose her again,” Your eyes flew open and you saw Changbin standing at the end of your bed but it wasn't the room you'd fallen asleep in. Instead, all of the walls around you were white and there was a loud beeping coming from the side of you
"What the fuck?!" You screamed as you stared at him and then at the other men trying to see if you knew any of them but none of them felt familiar to you.
"Leave," Changbin ordered making a bunch of men you'd never seen before leave the room and you stared at him confused as to how he'd gotten you to a hospital without you waking up once.
"Glad you finally woke up princess," He sat down beside your bed and you stared at him, studying his face before folding your arms over your chest.
"You've resorted to kidnapping now?"
"If it means you'll come home, yes." You roll your eyes at him, of course, he would expect you to just come home after he'd done nothing to fix what he did in the past.
"Why? So you can ignore me and the baby for the rest of our lives?" You hissed bitterly before Changbin's hand took yours and he shook his head at you.
"I would never-"
"You never came to any appointments, you always forgot our anniversaries and my birthday. I was going to put our son through that!" You cut him off angrily and his eyes softened,
"He's a boy?" Tears began to build up in his eyes as he stared at you and you swallowed the lump in your throat.
"Yes...Yes, he's a boy." You mumbled before looking at the screen beside your bed, your heart rate and your son's were both displayed on the screen.
"I'll have them fix the nursery then. I'd been painting it to be pink." He chuckled a little taking his phone out of your pocket and leaving you even more confused than before.
"What?"
"I hadn't been ignoring you...w-well I had but I'd been working on a surprise. I was convinced we were having a girl so I had the nursery made up pink." He admitted before you whimpered a little.
"You did all of that?" You quizzed wondering where this side of him had been the whole time you’d known him
"I did, I would never just ignore you." You sniffled a little as tears began to roll down your face.
"You still kidnapped me." You reminded him as if he could ever forget. He’d spent months tracking you down and it was the best plan he’d ever done.
"With good reason." He added with a sly smirk making you giggle a little at him
"Still a crime,"
"When has that ever bothered me?" He smirked before kissing you gently.
HYUNJIN: EXTRA TRIGGER WARNING! Reader is slapped by a third party!
You slowly lifted your head and looked around your surroundings, nothing had changed in god knows how long you'd been here and you don't know why you held out hope for it to chance in the first place. The men that had taken you told you that the only reason you weren't dead was because of the baby, something that they were going to use as leverage over your husband.
"Morning sunshine, want some food?" One of the men - Lucas as you found out - taunted as he waved around food in front of you before eating it and making lewd sounds about how good it tasted. All of them made you feel physically sick to your stomach, they would taunt you with food or drinks whenever they had it only to give you just enough table scraps to keep you healthy.
"Hyunjin is going to kill you when he finds me." You spat out, looking up at the ceiling and whimpering a little. You were about eight months pregnant which meant at any point any stress could send you into an early labour and you were doing everything within your power to make sure it didn't happen. You weren't going to let a group of men take your daughter away.
"If he finds you, any day now you're going to pop, give us what we want and we'll kill you." You swallowed the lump in your throat because you knew he was right. If Hyunjin hadn't found you by now then there was a slim chance that he wasn't going to find you before you gave birth and it worried you.
You'd always had faith and trust in your husband but you didn't know how many days or even weeks you'd been here, you'd lost count since the men would sedate you to move you from a bed and back to a chair where they left you tied up for hours.
"The doc is coming later to check on the baby," Croft said as he looked at Lucas who simply nodded at him and went back to eating his food in front of you.
The doctor who had come to see you was really nice, great even and you could have sworn you'd seen him before.
"The baby is healthy, both of them have a healthy heartbeat but there is one slight problem." Your heart broke at the idea of a problem with your child.
"Is she okay?!" You panicked earning a slap across the face from Lucas for speaking out when you weren't supposed to and you whimpered looking down at the floor.
"The child is fine, the problem is Lucas." Before Lucas could question what was happening shots rang out throughout the warehouse and multiple men were shot dead on the floor leaving just you, the doctor and Lucas alive with a gun pointed at his head.
"Cut her free," The doctor ordered as a metal shutter began to open, you squinted in the direction and saw Hyunjin making his way through with a giant smile on his face.
"I knew you'd come but what took so fucking long!?" You screamed as you were finally free from the chair and slowly stood up.
"The little rat is too good at covering his tracks," Hyunjin grumbled as he held your face in his hands turning it from side to side as if he were checking you over. Once he saw that you were fine he let you go and turned his focus on the man that had taken you.
"You know," You started as you stared around the warehouse where about 60 of Hyunjin's men were waiting with their guns trained on him,
“There’s an unspoken rule where if this many people are trying to kill you, then you should be dead already.” You grumbled before Hyunjin wrapped his arm around you and nodded at his men, giving them the all clear for what they needed to do.
JISUNG:
What on earth made you think that you could do this? You couldn't do this and you were nowhere near ready like you thought you were. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you laid your head back on the edge of the bathtub, the water filled with blood and whatever else was coming out of you at this point and you cried to yourself.
"Fucking arsehole!" You screamed gripping the edges of the grungy tub that you were laid in, screaming out in agony as you tried to do the breathing techniques you'd been reading about.
Everyone had told you how beautiful birth was going to be but none of them told you about the pain you were going to feel, like how you felt as though someone was ripping you apart from your vagina. No drugs to help you, no one to tell you if you were dilated.
You were alone and in some sketchy neighbourhood and a dirty apartment with no one around you. No friends, no husband, completely alone because everyone had forgotten about you and left you behind.
"Why did you have to come now?! You couldn't have waited a few more weeks?!" You yelled through the tears, ignoring the sirens that were outside of the apartment building that you were currently residing inside. It was every day that sirens went flying through and you'd tried to drown them out but now it was impossible, you prayed that they were somehow for you. That Jisung had finally remembered you and came to get you but no hope.
Hongjoong had told you that Jisung would come and get you within a month of you hiding out in the "safe home" but it didn't feel much of a safe home when you were in the worst neighbour imaginable and felt at threat every second of the day. You did some deep breathing as you heard someone pounding on the door, probably telling you to be quiet but you were about to give birth in a tub there was no being quiet.
"Fuck...y-you," You whispered suddenly feeling as though your eyes were too heavy to keep open and you looked down at the water, it had to be time to push surely. There was no way you could keep going through all of this pain.
"Yn?!" The door to the bathroom burst open and Jisung was staring at you, wide-eyed as he took in the scene around him
"What are you-" Before he could finish asking you let out a loud scream as another contraction hit you and he was on his knees on the floor beside the tub.
"I've got you." He whispered as men rushed into the scene, looking away from your naked body.
“I feel like everyone just forgot I existed," You whispered out to Jisung, looking at him a little unsure if any of this was even real at his point.
"I killed Hongjoong," He mumbled wiping sweat off your forehead,
"Baby he made it look like you ran away, left me a note...I-I had no idea where you were." The pain from the birth and heartache all crashed into one as sobs began to leave your throat.
Weeks of hospital treatment later you were home once again but on bed rest, Jisung's orders not the doctor's. He was refusing to let you move for as long as humanly possible and did everything he could for you.
"I'm okay, I can run my own bath." You told Jisung as you watched him running a bubble bath for you while your baby slept soundly in the bedroom.
"I want to do this for you." He whispered as you held him from being. He was doing everything he could to make up for you being alone all this time, the guilt was overwhelming for him but you hadn't blamed him for a second.
FELIX:
Your head was killing you when you woke up and you tried to lift your hand to your head but it was met with resistance and the sound of metal clanging on the floor. You weren't home that was for sure and if you were you were going to kick your husband's butt for some silly prank he was pulling.
"What the fuck?" You looked at your wrists and saw a metal cuff around them and down at your ankles it was the same. Your eyes shot around the room and you saw a camera in the corner facing you and it had a blinking red light, meaning it was recording or live.
"Who the fuck are you?! What do you want?!" You did your best to sound as confident as possible but it was impossible since you had no idea who had taken you in the first place.
"Someone who wants revenge." A voice sounded before a door opened and an elderly man walked in with the help of a cane,
"Your husband took something...someone from me and I plan to do the same." He stepped closer to you and you were able to see a huge scar down the left side of his face and you instantly knew who he was. Jan was one of the men Felix had to take down in order for him to become who he is today, one of the biggest mafia leaders in the country.
"He didn't kill your daughter, your own men did." You spat out knowing the story of his daughter already. Felix had tried to save her, getting her out of the house before he burnt it down but Jan's own men took her back into the building, shooting her to make it look like Felix had done it.
"You're a silly brainwashed little girl, your husband took what was mine and now I will do the same." He reached out to touch your bump and you slapped his hand away, you were almost ready to pop which made you more scared for your daughter's life.
"He'll kill you." You grumbled rubbing your bump as you stared at the man who simply smirked at you.
"Actually, he'll do everything he can to find you and slip up. I'll be waiting for him with his daughter in my hands and his wife dead beside me." You felt sick as he walked out of the room, slamming and bolting it shut before you leaned your head back on the wall.
"You stay in there as long as possible, you don't come early." You mumbled to your stomach, whimpering at the thought of this all happening.
As soon as Felix found out that you were missing he knew who was responsible, it really didn't take a genius to figure it out either and Jan hadn't been the sneakiest of people when it came to plans.
"I want men at every entrance, dead on sight," Felix ordered into the earpiece as he sneakily made his way toward the basement window. Men had been watching the building for a week now trying to find weak points in the security system and there was one. There were no guards, no cameras. It was just Jan on his own in a house that seemed to be abandoned,
"Lix?" You whispered when you saw him at the window, a smirk on his lips as he began to break it open, sliding through it with ease.
"How-" Before you could ask the door was opened and men came through, your men who were all smiling at you happy to see you were okay.
"Where's Jan?" You asked as you made your way through the home and up the stairs, a car was failing to start out in the drive and you all began to make your way in the direction. The frail-looking man looked panicked as he tried to start the engine of a very run-down-looking car.
“Running doesn't matter i’ll hunt you down if you do," Felix said loud enough for him to hear but Jan continued to try the engine again and again until clouds of dark smoke left the hood before he was pulled from the car and dragged toward a van.
"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" You shook your head, for the most part, he'd left you alone and just fed you and let you use the bathroom but Felix was still going to make him pay for taking you.
SEUNGMIN:
The old lady you'd made friends with over the last month was holding your hand as she walked you around the small spare room in her home. This wasn't supposed to be happening right now, you were supposed to be long gone from Seoul before you gave birth but it seemed as though your son was going to come earlier than you wanted him to.
"We should get you to a hospital," She told you as you gripped onto her hand and shook your head, hosptials meant that Seungmin could track you down and you'd been doing everything you could to stay off his radar and you were going to keep it that way.
"He'll find me, he can't find me." You pleaded, she knew your story and why you'd run away but for the whole month she'd known you she had been trying to convince you to go back to Seungmin and have him be there with you.
"He should be here for the birth of his son." She scolded and you rolled your eyes at her. No one seemed to understand why you'd walked away from him, the two of you were fighting more than usual. You'd heard him say he wasn't even sure he wanted a child and so you didn't give him a choice, you ran.
"He said he wasn't sure he wanted him, I took the choice away." You groaned before bending over with your palms flat on the bed, screaming out in agony as a contraction hit you.
"I'm sure he was just nervous and he never meant it," She pleaded with you before the door opened and someone walked inside. Your head slowly looked behind you and you groaned seeing your husband standing there with a doctor by his side.
"You called him?!" You screamed trying to push her hands off you as Seungmin walked over to you but the lady continued to hold onto you, rubbing your lower back.
"Of course she did, you really think I'd let you get that easy?!"
"You said you weren't sure you wanted him. I took the choice away from you, leave." You hissed out but he shook his head at you,
“Aren't you tired? Can we stop this and give our hearts a rest?” You hated that he sounded so poetic when all you wanted to do was hate him,
"She's almost ready," The old lady mumbled as you shook your head there was no way you wanted to do this here, you wanted drugs to numb the pain anything,
"You need to push," Seungmin told you as he held onto your hand, your eyes meeting his as you let out a whimper,
"I'm not ready, we're not ready!" You yelled and he chuckled a little kissing your cheek.
"No one is ever ready baby." He held onto your hand and you whined out knowing that it was time to push.
As soon as Seungmin was holding your son in his hands he was smiling at you,
"I-I'm sorry I ever doubted this," He told you as he held onto his son's tiny hand, watching him sleep peacefully in his arms as you laid your head on Seungmin's shoulder tiredly.
"If you ever say it again, we will be gone and you will never find us," You warned him as he nodded at you, kissing the top of your head as he promised that it would never happen again.
JEONGIN:
You had no idea what you were thinking when you'd disappeared months ago, there was no way that you were ever going to do this alone. Maybe if it had just been you on your own everything would have been fine but after running away you found out that you were pregnant. The only reason you'd run was because you were scared of the life he led, you weren't sure it was something you could see yourself in but ever since you discovered you were pregnant you knew you needed to come back.
Your child deserved a father in their life, even if it meant co-parenting instead of getting back together with him but you still loved Jeongin. You didn't think you could ever stop loving him for that matter.
"Yn?" Jisung whispered as you waited inside one of the buildings that Jeongin owned, you knew sooner or later one of his men would see you and tell Jisung or even bring you to him.
"Hey, is Jeongin around?" You weren't showing yet, no one would know that you were pregnant by looking at you and you were thankful for that.
"In his office, I'll take you up." Jisung took your arm gently and began to take you up. It had been a weird few months with their boss who lashed out at everyone who was close to him and refused to speak to anyone unless he needed to.
"What?!" Jeongin snapped as Jisung knocked on the door and walked inside. As soon as Jeongin turned around you felt guilt prickling your skin, he looked rough and that was putting it lightly.
He hadn't shaven in months, he was sporting a full beard which you assumed was to hide all of the bags under his eyes.
"Yn?" His voice broke but he quickly cleared his throat as he stared at you, not moving from his chair. He was too scared that if he did you'd suddenly disappear again.
"Hi." You mumbled a little as Jisung silently left the room, shutting the door behind him and leaving you alone with the man you loved.
"What can I do for you?" He asked, putting on his business voice as you slowly stepped toward the desk and dropped the ultrasound photos down onto the desk.
"I don't want money...I want you in the kid's life, even if you don't want me." You told him as you watched him slowly pick up the photos, you waited for him to question if it was even his but those questions never came.
"Move in, we'll create a nursery...we'll have everything ready."
"You'll forgive me? Just like that?" You were stunned at how he was just ready to throw everything into the past and come back to you. You expected some kind of resistance from him, or that he'd want a paternity test.
"You're the mother of my child...the love of my life, you could stab me and I would forgive you." You scoffed a little at him, of course, he would say something like that.
"That's toxic." You smirked at him before he shook his head at you.
"Shut up." He grumbled before shaking his head at you and looking back at the photos with tears in his eyes.
"You need to shave, I won't come back until the beard is gone." You told him as he moved to hold you in his arms.
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I’m scared | Alexia Putellas x reader | part 1
Summary: after yet another attempt to pretend to want to have sex with Alexia, the blonde tries to understand why you don't tell her that you don't want to have sex with her and why you are so scared every time she touches you.
Warnings: angst. This work is talking about past sexual abuses (not in a detailed way, but to explain why reader doesn’t want to have sex with ale), so if it’s trigger don’t read, please. Fluff in the end (?).
Words: 3k
I tried to write with “you” to refer to reader, i don’t know if I did it in the right way but I wanted to try to write in this way; as usually, if something is wrong, say it and I’ll correct.
I’m really emotive involved in this work, so pls be kind and respectful 🫶🏻
This is part one of this ask: ask
You and Alexia are walking.
The weather is perfect: clear sky, the sun that warms despite the winter cold.
The dirt road without potholes.
There is no one but you two.
The pace of the walk is slow.
Calm.
There's no hurry.
Barcelona is on your right, veiled in the January fog.
You're walking her favorite trail, but Alexia hasn't explained to you why she asked you to take this walk on a Sunday after lunch.
The blonde had asked you if you would like to go with her to a Barça under 11 girls' match where she was supposed to be present, and then eat at the sports center; at the end of it all, while you were in the car, she asked you to take that walk.
You nodded, smiling, even though an unfamiliar feeling was invading your body.
She had been weird since this morning.
Cold.
Thoughtful.
You bite your lip while you kick some pebbles.
You tried to make conversation a couple of times and she always ended any dialogue in its tracks.
She has her hands stuffed into the pockets of her blue jacket.
Her hair loose.
Her forehead is decorated, every now and then, with wrinkles.
Her lips closed in a line.
She looks older today.
More tired.
Today there is no trace of the woman who looks five years younger.
Is it your fault?
Did you do something?
She runs a hand through her hair and tucks a tuft behind her ear.
Her posture is rigid.
She smiled less today.
She sought less contact than usual.
She is weird.
She swallows her saliva in an attempt to ward off that anxiety.
You are also relatively distant on a physical level.
She opens her mouth a couple of times to speak.
And, when she doesn't say anything, she pretends it's to sigh.
Should you ask her?
Speak?
But she cut off every attempt to do it before.
Maybe she's sad, or something happened and she just wants to stay quiet. After all, many times you have been quiet, at her house or while walking around Barcelona, and she says that she likes it.
That she feels comfortable with you in silence.
But she looks so uncomfortable today.
She takes a deep breath.
“I have to ask you something,” she announces.
You look at her.
She is serious.
No smile.
Her lips are a flat line.
She doesn't turn to look for you, her eyes fixed on the road.
You invite her to continue.
You scratch your forearm nervously.
What's taking her so long?
What should she ask?
What did she do?
What have you done?
“But I would like you to be honest”
You nod.
What happened?
Why all this preamble?
Usually, it's you who does it, who makes a thousand assumptions.
“Why do you pretend to want to have sex when you don't want to have it?”
You stop, frozen.
The hand that was scratching the forearm is still, the nails still in contact with the skin.
She closes her eyes.
Her voice is neutral.
But is she mad?
Disappointed?
She turns to look at you.
Your head is bowed, your position is arched, your shoulders forward.
She stands straight, rigid.
"You did it last night too - she sighs - Last night too you tried to pretend and I think it's the fifth or sixth time in the last month"
You swallow the saliva.
“I want to understand why you don't tell me that you don't want to have sex - she stops for a moment - It's not a problem if you don't want to, but you have to tell me, do you understand me?”
You nod uncertainly.
How did she understand it?
What can you tell her?
From her voice, she sounds more worried than mad.
She closes her eyes.
It's true what she said.
During the last month, you have pretended to want to have sex several times.
Then, each time, she interrupted the attempt.
She laid next to you.
She kissed you.
She rested her arm on your hip or belly.
And she closed her eyes.
You clench your jaw.
"I…"
“Look at me, please”
Is it urgency?
It doesn't sound like a reproach, an order.
But more of a request.
You would like to deny it, to say that it's not true.
Say that she's lying.
But what's the point of it?
She understood it.
She understood that there is something.
And if she's talking about it, for how long had she thought about it?
Does it make sense to deny it?
Lie?
Telling lies to cover up something so obvious?
“I… I… - you sigh - I'm scared”
You whisper.
Your voice weak, maybe overwhelmed by the breeze.
Your cheeks burn with humiliation, shame.
"About what? What are you afraid of?"
Did she really not understand or does she want you to say it?
She always understands everything about you.
It's like you're predictable with her, it doesn't matter if you've been dating for more or less four months, camps and games aside, she always understands.
Does she have any ideas?
Maybe she hopes this isn't what it is.
Maybe she wants an excuse to dump you.
“That you… that you do it even if I don't want to”
She asks you what it means.
What does she think of you now?
What does she think of this unhealthy fear?
You point your gaze at the panorama.
You stare at a flock of birds.
They move haphazardly, as your thoughts.
“I almost got raped by my ex-boyfriend - you close your eyes - He gaslighted me… he said it was my fault if we didn't have sex, that if I hadn't had it I would never have felt ready, that I was ungrateful because he also thought to my pleasure"
You sigh.
You put your hand on your eyes.
You wrinkle them.
You are trembling.
What will she think of you now?
What will she think of you after she finds out?
“One night I had to sleep at his house and… he tried to penetrate me several times - a sob escape from your lips - He said that I had to stay still, that nothing would happen”
You never talk about it.
Never.
To nobody.
Three or four people know.
You are so ashamed of yourself.
You know that it was not your fault, that you don't have to feel that guilt, but you can't do other than feel it.
It happened years ago but it is as fresh in your mind.
“He also did it two nights later, when I was forced to stay at his house because I was quite ill and unable to come back home with my bike”
All you need is one wrong touch and you remember him.
You remember that moment.
That scene.
You relive it endlessly.
Relive that fear.
That terror.
That rejection.
That trying not to think of the worst.
That cry when, months later, you understood that what had happened wasn't normal.
“I… I risked losing my virginity through rape”
A whisper.
A faint, insecure phrase interrupted by panting.
The trembling voice.
“He did so much gaslighting that he ended up dumping me because we weren't having sex and telling me it was my fault – you swallow your saliva – But before dumping me he tried several times to do it, to penetrate me”
You sigh a couple of times.
She is silent.
You don't dare look at her.
You don't want to see the look on her face.
You bite your lip.
“I... I know you won't do it, really - you sigh - But subconsciously I'm afraid that you'll break up with me if we don't do it and I try to convince myself that it's what I want”
You mess up your hair.
You pull the sleeves of your shirt up and down several times, nervously.
“I'm afraid you'll get bored of me if we don't do this or that-”
You close your eyes.
Will she hate you if you say it?
What will she think?
Will she scream?
Will she hit you?
Will she insult you?
Or maybe she will go away.
She will return to the car with the idea of returning home without you and never seeing you again.
She doesn't speak.
Why doesn't she speak?
“Subconsciously I'm afraid that you... that you'll do it anyway - you sigh, your voice broken by the crying that threatens to start - that you'll fuck me anyway, so I try to convince myself that I want it. So... so if-if you do it maybe-maybe I'll live it better"
The tears that flow.
If she dumped you, you would understand.
On the one hand, you don't satisfy her.
You are full of trauma.
You can't even have sex when she wants.
On the other hand, you defined her as a possible rapist.
Cruel, that you think only of yourself.
“I know you wouldn't do it, really - you add urgently, the fear that she will interrupt you - But subconsciously I'm afraid of it”
You hug yourself.
As to protect yourself.
As if to ward off any sort of reaction.
"Why did not you tell me?"
Is it sadness?
Penalty?
Compassion?
You shake your head.
“What did I have to tell you? - the sarcastic tone - That I'm subconsciously afraid that you're a rapist because the first one I did something with almost raped me? That for everything I have one trauma that might annoy you?”
You clench your jaw.
You laugh sardonically.
“Romantic as a conversation to have after a few months of dating”
There is a pause.
You don't look at her.
Why doesn't she scream?
Why doesn't she hit you?
Why doesn't she react?
“Have I ever done anything when you were pretending?”
You shake your head nervously.
Quickly.
"No. Never - you giggle nervously - You always understood somehow”
“But we almost had sex that night. I touched you"
You nod. “I wanted it, that evening”
She sighs.
Her eyes stained with pity, with compassion.
"Why did not you tell me? - you don't answer - Little one, I would never get mad if you didn't want to have sex with me"
She's not sincere.
It is not true.
She's lying.
How can she not get mad?
“It's just that every time I want to have sex you seem to want it and I try, and then sometimes in you change... I feel you change - she shakes her head - I would never do anything to you that you don't want, little one, but you have to tell me”
Why can't you believe she's sincere?
You have too many problems.
Too much anxiety.
Too many traumas.
Why can't you trust her?
“I'm scared,” you whisper.
You're really afraid that the woman you're falling in love with will rape you.
That will abuse you.
To convince you that it's your fault.
That you wanted it.
Would you really be able to walk away, to escape, if she did that?
“It's true that you stopped those times, but if I told you in the meantime, how would you take it? - you shake your head, tears falling to the ground - I'm afraid that you will hurt me like everyone else has always done"
She doesn't say a word.
You sob.
You gasp.
“I know you wouldn't do it, really... but I'm afraid that you would hit me or yell at me or that I would disappoint you - you sniff - I don't want this relationship to end because I only have traumas and I only cause problems”
“Baby, I will never hurt you because you don't want to have sex, ever”
You shake your head.
The tears falling to the ground.
The chest is invaded by contractions.
“I know, really… but when we're there I have an irrational fear that you will - you wipe your eyes - I know it doesn't make sense, but it's as if that fear comes over me”
She doesn't come close.
She doesn't move.
She is still.
You look at her.
The wrinkles on the forehead are more noticeable.
The mouth is a thin line.
Did you disappoint her?
Is she exhausted by you?
“It's like those times I can't control myself”
The tears that run relentlessly down your cheeks.
You open and close your eyes several times waiting for them to go away, let them disappear.
Admitting it, it hurts.
It burns the chest and inflames the sense of guilt.
Saying it out loud is a stab.
“Have you told anyone about this? A psychologist”
You shake your head quickly.
“No, never… I… in the end, it's just how I saw it, you know?"
You feel so humiliated.
Stupid.
Pathetic.
“And then he hasn't completely done it, so it doesn't make sense that I feel so bad. In the end... in the end, it's nothing, it's me who exaggerates"
“Baby, he almost raped you - you lament at the word - Amor it's not a normal thing, it's not a small thing. Don't deny what he did or try to justify it."
You shake your head.
“I'm not saying it is, but that... it's not serious enough”
“Baby yesterday you got scared when I touched your hip while I was kissing you - you look at her suddenly - You reflexively moved exactly like at the beginning when you were scared I would hit you”
You close your eyes.
“And it's not the reflex you have when you get scared because you don't hear me entering in the kitchen while you're cooking, it was fear. I saw that light of fear in your eyes for a few moments"
“I… please, sorry”
The nausea that invades your body.
You feel so guilty.
So wrong.
So stupid.
Why can't you enjoy something?
Did she feel guilty because of you?
Did you make her suffer?
Did you hurt her?
“Baby, don't apologize, please - she sighs, as she tries to get closer - It's not your fault”
Take a step back.
“But it is! - you almost scream - I'm the one who can't have sex with you, you're not him!”
Your chest rises and falls quickly.
You gasp.
You're out of breath.
You hate screaming.
To lose control.
But you don't like talking about the topic and you're afraid that she will use your words to leave, to look for someone better than you.
“Little one, this is a trauma independent of the person in front of you”
There is silence.
You do not answer.
What should you say?
You are standing still, a few steps away.
“I… I understand if you want to leave me - you hesitate - If… if I'm too full of problems, if you want someone easier…”
You leave the sentence halfway.
You hope she completes it.
But she doesn't.
She doesn't say anything.
She doesn't say a word.
“Amor, it's not a problem if you don't feel like having sex with me, either when you're scared or normally, really - you look at her - But you have to tell me because only then can I understand and not hurt you”
The tears that continue to flow from your eyes.
“Baby, I don't want to break up with you, least of all for this reason. I just want to understand."
She moves closer to you.
You lower your head, shrug your shoulders.
Does she want to hit you?
Does she want to hurt you?
The truth is, you wouldn't stop her.
You wouldn't stop her from hitting you.
After all, why shouldn't she?
“Seriously baby, I don't want to break up with you or hurt you… I just wanted to understand - she sighs - So we can act consequently, so I can help you”
How long did she think about it?
How much time did you steal from her?
You drag your hands down your pants.
Why is she so nice to you?
Why is she so normal?
So emotive available?
She hugs you.
You rest your head on her shoulder, you close your eyes.
You breathe her scent.
“I'm sorry… I'm sorry” you say it over and over again.
Her hand runs down your back in a steady motion.
Relaxing.
Consolatory.
“I'm sorry,” you sob.
“Why don't we do something? - she asks you when she moves away from your body - Next time you will take the initiative - "
“No, no please no” you whisper interrupting her, looking at her scared.
Eyes more open than usual.
The vision blurred with tears.
“Baby, I don't want to force you, I want you to understand that I don't want to hurt you, that I can wait”
“But I know!” You interrupt her urgently.
With fear.
“Baby I want it to come from you, I want you to understand that we don't have to have sex every time we see each other. It's normal not to want it if you don't feel ready for it, if we do other things than sex"
You look down.
“It's really normal baby - she pauses - It's normal not to want to have sex when you don't feel like it”
“But… but what if you and I… what if after doing it I don't want to do it for a while, I don't feel ready for it?”
“Baby it's normal, it happens to everyone - she stops, places her hand under your chin, applying pressure to be looked at - Even more so in this situation”
Is she sincere?
Do you seriously think so?
“I'm just afraid that you won't want me anymore”
“Baby, I'm in love with you for the person you are, not for the sex”
You look at her.
Her eyes are wide.
Is she in love with you?
She smiles embarrassed.
Shy.
She is - is she really...
In love.
You smile through your tears.
You look at her in disbelief.
Did she really say that?
She has that sly smile on her face, that smile that she made you fall in love with.
She won't hurt you.
At least her, her won't hurt you.
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i wanna be the one | part 1
Edit: Changed title. Thanks to Dru for the suggestion. From the song "Things We Never Say" by the Bad Bad Hats. Great song, potentially relevant maybe who knows.
Summary: Reader is an English-American GK who joins the Arsenal squad and ends up in an interesting back and forth with Leah Williamson. This chapter is mainly set-up for the future. The vibes will probably be very different going forward lol
Warnings: Angst, swallowing self-doubt, and mentions of parental death in the first section.
Word Count: 3,284
London felt just like Seattle. You were expecting it to feel different, more European (whatever that meant), but when you stepped out of the airport and that familiar January rain hit your skin, it was a welcome feeling. It wasn’t quite Home – you hadn’t had one of those in a long time – but it was definitely welcoming, and nice enough that you didn’t bother with an umbrella. It would’ve been hard enough trying to carry one along with all your bags anyway, although by the look on your driver’s face he really wished you had at least tried. It was nice that the team had sent a car to meet you, especially since you didn’t really know anyone here that well, but you supposed they would do that for any new signing. The driver helped you get your bags into the car and then you were off to the club to dot some Is and cross some Ts to make everything truly official.
Wistful thoughts crept into the back of your mind as you were chauffeured through the streets of London, and you decided for the first time in a long time not to fight them. Not here, anyway – not now. Not after everything it took to get you here. Get you here again, technically. You were born in London after all, and raised in Sheffield where your mother had grown up. Your father was an American, from Dallas, who came to England for graduate school and stayed for the woman he fell in love with. He often teased her about “real (American) football” but she converted him to Sheffield United fan, though he would never admit it – at least not until you were born. Match days became a family event as soon as you could stand up on your own, even though you were still too young to really remember anything at that point, but by the time you could run you wanted nothing more than to play. You were always bigger than the other kids so they made you play with the boys, but you knew a lot of the women’s national team players had played on boys’ teams growing up, so you didn’t mind it. You were never upset about that, but you were upset when they made you move to the goalkeeper position when you were eight. It was the boring position and you never got to do anything, but you were the only kid on the team who didn’t seem scared of the ball when it came flying at you, so the job fell to you. Many years later, it would prove to be the right choice, but for a while you thought it felt like a punishment from the universe. Then you found out what that kind of punishment actually felt like.
You were only eleven when your parents died. It was a car accident; your mom was driving. She took the brunt of it and was gone by the time the ambulance arrived. Your dad was in the hospital for two days, but he never woke up. You had been in the back seat. Heavy bruising, a busted ribs, broken collarbone, and a big gash across the side of the head was it for you. You were in the hospital too, for a while. Your paternal grandmother came all the way from Austin to pick you up and take you to live with her. Your mom’s parents had been gone for a while now, and GiGi – what you had called your father’s mother – was all you had left. You had only met her a few times before, but you didn’t really have another option, so across the pond you went.
It would be a massive understatement to say that Texas was different from Sheffield. It was truly a whole different world, but kids are resilient enough. You were famous for a while, because of your accent, and then you were weird for a while, because of your accent, and then eventually you became just one of the kids. Your GiGi was supportive as well, more than you had expected her to be. You didn’t know much of the specifics as a kid, but you knew she and your father had had some sort of falling out and weren’t as close as they had been when he was younger. You always thought it had to do with him choosing to stay in England rather than come home to America. When you got older it seemed like maybe there was more to it than that, but GiGi wouldn’t talk about it. She did help you get into therapy, so that you could learn how to process what had happened and all the big changes that came with it. You didn’t like it at the time, but in hindsight it was probably the best thing she could’ve done. She even started trying to learn about football – soccer – too, because she knew you liked it, and she made sure to sign you up for the local league. You think maybe that time doesn’t heal wounds, but it sort of scabs them over enough that they only hurt when you pick at them, so eventually you learn to stop picking at them, and after that life became kind of normal.
You eventually played soccer in high school – goalkeeper, naturally – and were good enough to get recruited to the University of Texas. From there, the NWSL draft sent you to Seattle for the OL Reign. You spent a season as the third-string goalkeeper, then a season as the second-string, and then were presented with an opportunity you couldn’t dare turn down. It had been Kim Little’s idea, apparently. She had only played with you in Seattle for a month or so, and you never really hung out, but she knew you had grown up in England and that you had really wanted the chance to play football in Europe. She would tell you later that she was impressed with your resilience, something you had heard often growing up, and that you had a “dead brilliant reaction speed” which you guessed sounded good. So when Arsenal’s back-up goalkeeper transferred out and they were weighing their options, she suggested they give you a look. She had said it offhandedly, like it wasn’t a big deal, but you would wager she fought harder for you than she let on. You had only played a handful of games in two seasons, and while you were admittedly good, the offer from the English club still came as a massive surprise. They were up front and adamant about your status as a pure back-up to Zinsberger, and while you would’ve had a decent chance to win the starting spot in Seattle, you just couldn’t say no to European football, to England, to the Arsenal.
That’s how you ended up in the back of a dark car being driven through the streets of north London in the pouring rain. Your fingers fiddled absently at the chain around your neck and the two golden bands that hung from it while you considered everything that led you here, hoping that you made the right choice. Only time would tell, you thought, as the car squealed to a slow stop. You hesitated for a long moment before tucking the necklace under your shirt and moving to exit the vehicle. The driver met you at the car door, an umbrella extended overhead. You were taller than him, so you had to awkwardly bend your neck as he moved to close the door behind you.
“This shouldn’t take long,” he said, “Then we’ll get you home.” You thanked him and stuffed your fists in the pockets of your coat as you followed him up to the club, your stomach slowly rising higher and higher into your throat as the series of decisions you had recently made began to congeal rather quickly into a hard reality. It was some grotesque mix of nerves and excitement and fear that just fully slapped you in the face when you stepped inside the building. You hadn’t felt like this in Seattle, or on the plane, or in the car, but now that you were here, physically, it’s like everything else was physical too. It wasn’t some amorphous Choice floating in the metaphorical ether of your life; it was a foreboding Presence leering down at you, clawing at your shoulders from behind, and whispering ‘you don’t deserve this’ into your psyche. Nausea began to swell up, to the point you were just starting to feel dizzy. Out of instinct you reached forward and put your hand on the driver’s shoulder, who stopped walking to turn and see what you needed. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted by a distinctly Scottish, “Oh ‘ey, Tex!” behind you.
You both turned to see Kim Little striding down the hallway, followed closely by Jonas and one of the other coaches. You swallowed hard, all the torturous feelings slowly fading away as you saw a familiar face. “Hey, Little Kim, “ you retorted. She scoffed and faked a jab towards your ribs before she reached up to hug you.
“Welcome to the party,” she said, stepping back to introduce the coaches, who shook your hands. They welcomed you as well and explained that the evening would be brief, they were sure you’d be tired from the flight, but just needed to finalize some things on the business side and then Kim would give a tour of the facilities. You thanked them, probably too many times, and went with them all to finish your paperwork and pick up your official training gear. Your kit wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow since they’d have to put your name on and weren’t sure what number you wanted (you picked 18 because it was available and made sense for a goalkeeper). Kim showed you around, asked about the flight, and made you feel as welcome as she thought she could. It was nice to talk to someone for a while. You weren’t exactly an extrovert, but you were Southern enough you enjoyed being around people, and being able to talk to Kim, even if it was more or less small talk, made you feel better, and by the time the tour was done all of the earlier feelings were forgotten. You started to think that maybe this whole thing was a good idea after all.
“So no rest for the weary – first training tomorrow, yeah? Text me your address and I’ll pick you up. Since you won’t have a car, Uber’s always an option, but until you get sorted, you can get rides with me,” Kim said.
“Sounds good. Thanks, I appreciate it.”
“Don’t thank me yet, I’m picking you up extra early tomorrow – the girls’ll want to meet you before kickin’ balls at your head.”
“Well, I guess that’s only polite.”
You both laughed and hugged goodbye before heading your separate ways, you pulling out your phone to look up your new address to send it to Kim. This was a good decision, you thought, this was a good decision.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your apartment – or flat? – was nicer than you expected it to be. You had done a Zoom tour while you were still in Seattle and it looked fine, but you had tempered your expectations to be safe. Turns out, you didn’t need to. It was a two-bedroom and furnished with the basics, so there was plenty of space for you and plenty room to decorate as you saw fit. You had what was sometimes described as an eclectic taste by your friends, mainly because you liked to decorate with things that made you happy. That seems like an obvious thing to decorate with, but you were kind of – literally – a giant dork, which meant you had a lot of “nerd shit” as your friends would tease. You expected the Arsenal girls would do the same if they ever started coming over, but all of that would be a long time coming. Tonight, all you wanted to do was collapse into bed, which is exactly what you did.
Kim wasn’t lying when she said she’d pick you up early. At least she had the decency to bring you coffee, but she was completely taken aback when you admitted you didn’t really drink coffee and actually preferred tea. “Guess there is some English in you after all,” she had joked as she drove. She asked about your night and how you slept, and pointed out all the important-to-know shops and stops between your apartment and the training center. When you finally arrived, you asked her if she accepted tips for her tour knowledge – to which she responded with “only big bills”. You laughed as you retrieved your bag from the back of her car, and the two of you headed in.
The next few days were an absolute blur. You were introduced to everyone, and they all seemed pretty nice. McCabe kept talking about how tall you were, but from how everyone else acted that was normal. Manu was happy to have another goalkeeper in the squad despite the fact you would both technically be competing for the starting spot, even though you were explicitly hired as a back-up. At least it didn’t seem like there would be any weird hurt feelings or anything there, so you were glad for that. All your other time was spent trying to discern personality types and team dynamics, and also actually training. The coaches had told you they wouldn’t expect you to go full on for the first few days to give you time to acclimate to everything. You thanked them, of course, but that didn’t stop you from diving in head first.
By the time your official day three was over, you wished you had taken it a little easier. It felt like jet lag hit you late, on top of the normal physical tiredness of training. But that evening as the team as the team filtered out of the locker room, Katie McCabe slapped you on the back and said, “Drinks on you tonight, mate!” You turned to look at her, but before you could ask, Kim interrupted with a sharp “Katie–“
“Hold on, hold on! I don’t mean a big to-do, but we gotta welcome the newbie right, right?”
A couple of the other players voiced their agreement and Kim rolled her eyes. “Two drink maximum.”
“Four.”
“Two.”
“Three?”
“Two, McCabe.”
“Two and shots?”
“…”
“Two…and shots?”
“…one shot.”
“Fuck yes, best captain ever! You’re riding with us, Y/N!”
A mix of confusion and amusement spread across your face as you looked between the two of them, and Kim just shook her head and waved at you to go with Katie, so you let yourself be pulled away into whatever the night would bring.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Despite telling you that you were paying for drinks, Katie was nice enough to only make you buy the shots, and despite Kim’s hesitance at you all going out mid-week, it was a surprisingly calm evening. You ended up sitting at a table with just a handful of your new teammates. Most of them were joking around with each other, teasing and taunting. You sat quietly, unsure of how inserting yourself into the dynamic would come off. You thought of a few quips throughout the conversations, but made sure to hold your tongue, choosing to sip on your beer instead.
“You always this quiet?”
You glanced over in the direction of the voice, inadvertently locking eyes with Leah Williamson. You knew who she was, obviously – won the Euros and all. What you hadn’t known was that she was even more attractive in person. You didn’t even know that was possible, but it was certainly a pleasant surprise.
“Not usually,” you responded, drawing in a breath. “Just can’t get a word in edgewise with this one goin’ off.”
You gestured towards Katie, who didn’t even register the comment. It did get a chuckle out of Steph and Foord, though, which made you relax a bit. Looking back at Leah, she was still looking at you, but didn’t seem to react otherwise. You paused for a moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek, before deciding to just go for it.
“So in the summer do you ever get a weird tan on your forehead from frowning so much?”
That did draw Katie’s attention; you could tell from the way she practically guffawed.
“Oy, she’s got you dead to fuckin’ rights!” she said, leaning over to elbow at Leah. The Aussies had laughed as well, as did Kim. Leah didn’t look impressed at the remark, but from the twitch of her lips you would swear she was biting back a smile. She had nice lips. Were you staring at her lips? Your eyes flashed back up to hers and she was still looking at you. She would’ve been able to tell where you were staring. That’s…embarrassing. You swallowed hard, and quickly looked away, taking a long swig of your drink. If anyone else at the table noticed the interaction, they didn’t react. Katie started in on you immediately, dragging you into whatever she had been talking about before, and from there you spent the rest of the evening integrating yourself into the team.
The bar was really only starting to fill up when Kim decided it was time for you all to get a move on. There was some light-hearted grumbling, but everyone was professional enough to know how to behave. You had popped into the toilet before leaving, and when you came out of the stall, Leah was washing her hands. You hesitated for a brief moment before moving up to the sink next to her to wash your own hands, the little bit of alcohol you consumed tonight just enough to embolden you.
“Man, Williamson, what kind of a world is this where you’ve got those legs and no rhythm,” you teased, quickly busying yourself with the most thorough hand-wash you’ve ever done so you didn’t have to look over at her and see how poorly she took the remark.
“You spend a lot of time thinking about my legs?”
You froze. It would seem she didn’t take it too poorly at all. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you turned off the sink and turned to look at her. She was staring at you again. Seemed like maybe she did that a lot.
“Yeah, maybe,” you finally said. She hmmed a bit and cocked her head to the side. The glint in her eye was the only thing that kept you from worrying you were being too forward, and you silently prayed it wasn’t a trick of the fluorescent lighting overhead.
“You think you’re being all charming, with your little jokes?”
“No, not really,” you shrugged. “I think I have the personality of a 14-year-old boy and it’s the only way I know how to flirt with you.”
Leah changed at that. Her posture shifted. Her shoulders dropped slightly. The glint in her eye was gone. You fucked up, you thought. You’ve been here for four days and you already fucked up.
You moved to apologize at the same time Leah moved to respond, but both of you were interrupted by the door to the bathroom slamming open and a group of girls rushing in. You turned around and pushed yourself up against the edge of the sink to get out of the way, but Leah dipped her head down and shoved out past them, taking the opportunity to escape without you being able to stop her.
Yep. You fucked up.
#woso#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#woso fanfics#woso x reader#arsenal x reader#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson
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Excuses
Warnings: Mentions of fainting, diabetes, canon-typical injuries
Summary: You suffer the consequences just because your teacher thought you were making excuses.
A/N: First fic of 2024!!! I had plans that I was going to post weekly in the new year just like last year but things went downhill. This january and february has had its very good but also really bad moments and even writing this was a struggle. I've found myself in a weird place of wanting to write but struggling and all of a sudden not being able to balance my schoolwork and writing. So I took a lil step back to solely focus on my work but looking at everything now, my fic updates will be much less frequent but hopefully just as or if not, more fun to read.
I feel bad for not saying or posting anything since the new year but I'm here now and hopefully will be more alive. I've got lots planned for you beautiful people, several series and way too many fics in my drafts that I cannot wait for you all to read. This wasn't as long or as juicy as I intended but my brain completely failed me so I hope this is good enough. I initially wanted to post this at the beginning of March but I finished the final editing today so here you go!!
Final note before we start, I have general knowledge about diabetes but that's all from my grandma. I have no idea if it's the same for teenagers so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Happy reading!!
Your biology teacher had been on maternity for three weeks now and you were seriously contemplating life.
Because of the crappy rules surrounding maternity leave, when your teacher refused to return before her three months ended, your school had a supply teacher fill in for her till she came back.
Since day one, you knew you hated her.
It was mid lesson and you knew as soon as you started feeling sluggish that your sugar levels were dropping. Your thoughts were only confirmed when your Dexcom receiver let you know of your decreasing glucose.
This wasn't a usual occurrence. Will and Jay always made sure you had eaten enough and you had the means to maintain the needed glucose levels so that nothing happened.
Alas, you were up late revising and you were stressing about keeping up your good grades. Jay was rushing you out the door because he needed to go to a scene he'd just been called to and Will was out walking Kol and hadn't seen you leave.
In conclusion, it'd been a hot minute since you last ate something.
The school were well aware of your diabetes. It was one of the very important things your brothers stressed them about when you first started.
Most students knew about it actually, having seen your Dexcom and not understanding since a diabetic child apparently wasn't common according to them.
So, when you randomly pulled out a snack from your bag mid class, no one questioned it and instead would make sure you were okay. There'd never been a problem before in school and everyone wanted it to stay that way.
However, this new teacher, Mrs Byrne was apparently completely unaware of your medical condition.
"Y/N. You know the rules about eating in class." She said strictly, pulling away all the attention from the board onto you.
She stopped you in the middle of opening the packet of fruit gummies. You frowned, looking at her confused along with your classmates.
"I have diabetes." You said bluntly, continuing to open the packet. "I don't eat this and I'll pass out."
Mrs Byrne only rolled her eyes, smiling at you condescendingly. "I've heard that excuse hundreds of times, give those to me."
You scoffed at the audacity, refusing to hand over what was yours.
It was when she started walking towards your desk with a pep in her step that the entire class got involved. Their raised voices overlapped, some angrier than others over what was happening.
However, you too were Stubborn alike to your brothers so you kept as firm of a grip of the packet. You turned a blind eye to the anger fuelled cover teacher. You continued to smile as she spewed threats of all sorts.
Due to your frustration and annoyance over the teacher who wanted to take your gummies away, you didn't notice how everything started change; how hard it was to move your eyes and lips, your limbs getting heavier and you thoughts slowly getting muddled up.
Lost in a daze, you were no longer able to fight back when she pulled harder, successfully snatching the small packet out of your hands. It was now that the class got furious, your friends were already up and at your side but now they were verbally attacking the teacher.
Fed up with her petty behaviour, you were going to get up and go to the nurses office who would take care of you but getting out your seat was harder said than done.
With one of your friends help, you weren't too sure who was helping you from your hazy sight that cleared when you blinked too many times.
You were wobbly on your feet, taking slow and hesitant steps towards the front of the classroom but before you could leave, you felt your legs give out and everything went black.
*****
It turned out that supposed crime scene that he was imminently needed at was nothing but a prank by a bunch of college boys resulting in a grumpy Hank putting them in cuffs and having them fined for a very reasonable reason.
That's how the rest of the unit found themselves finishing up paperwork, catching up about life in general as they debated what they were getting for lunch.
Jay was smugly sitting back, eyes flickering between Kevin and Adam who were bickering over something trivial when his phone rung, catching everyone's attention.
They were all so bored and normally when one of their phones went off during work hours, it meant something came up and they were needed.
In interest, everyone turned their heads towards Jay and waited for him to tell them they got a crime scene.
Picking up his phone, Jay's brows furrowed at the number, confused as to why your school was calling him in the middle of the day. They'd only call him if two things happened: You'd gotten in trouble or you got hurt.
"Hello. Is this Y/N Halsteads brother Jay?" A voice he couldn't recognised asked, most likely some lady from the main office.
"Yeah, that's me." Jay confirmed, sitting up in preparation for whatever he was going to be told.
"So sorry to interrupt you sir but Y/N collapsed in class." The lady said with guilt laced in her words. "Your other brother didn't pick up the phone. We called to let you know we had to call the paramedics and they've taken her to Chicago Med."
"Uh yeah." Jay said, collecting his jacket and keys. "Yes, thank you."
Not waiting for a reply, Jay hung up and quickly knocked on Hank's office door frame.
"Sarge, I gotta get Y/N-"
"Go get her. We're done here."
*****
Wanting to pull his hair out, Will rubbed his eyes in frustration, glaring at his patients scans that only confused him further. He was tired and was coming to half way through his twenty four hour shift.
"Dr Halstead- Uh, Dr Rhodes in T4." Maggie stumbled, looking down at her brick and making sure she read it correctly.
"What's wrong?" Will asked, confused as to why Maggie changed her mind which she usually never did.
"It's Y/N."
Now fully awake, Will followed Connor towards the ambulance bay where you were being rolled in. You were groggily sitting up on the stretcher, you hair a mess and a few scratches around your face and hands from when you fell.
"Sylvie, what happened?" Will asked the blonde paramedic while looking you over. He desperately wanted to check you over himself but let Connor do his thing. He really did not need Ms Goodwin on his case today.
"Teachers didn't tell us much but her classmates said she collapsed after not being able to eat." Sylvie relayed the minimal information she knew, shrugging her shoulders when the two doctors looked at her weirdly. "No one would tell us anything more."
"Y/N, it's Connor. Can you hear me kid?" Connor said while pulling out his penlight. He was like another brother to you, his concern just as high. "Can you tell me what happened?"
You groaned, mumbling nonsense with your eyes screwed closed. Your words were mostly unintelligible but Will understood them mere seconds later.
Fixing the problem you complained about, Will turned down the lights and let Connor continue fussing over you.
It didn't take long to find out the cause of your collapse, Will sighing at the news when he read the numbers from your tests.
"I thought she was always on top of her sugar levels." Connor said, closing the room door so you could sleep in peace.
And what he said was completely true but they weren't aware of why you couldn't today specifically of all days.
"She is." Will said, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "Maybe her dexcom malfunctioned or something."
Connor hummed, agreeing with his friend.
"Hmm, maybe."
*****
Arriving at Med, Will gave Jay a detailed rundown of everything he new about your medical state but also the events pre your hospital arrival.
Getting a good look at you, holding your hand in his and kissing you on your forehead, Jay was more than happy to leave you in your oldest brothers safe hands while he got to the bottom of this entire ordeal.
He noticed Sylvie was still at Med, Foster mentioning they were running low on a few supplies so they needed some stocking up. Jay took this opportunity to interview the two paramedics and try to get further understanding on this situation that wasn't making much sense to him.
Arriving at your school, Jay had some thoughts in mind but they weren't very concrete and his confidence wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be.
Walking into the school, Jay immediately noticed an entire class sitting and standing around in the corridor waiting in front of the principals office.
One of the girls who had been sitting in a chair had caught sight of Jay, her eyes widening before she smiled, gently nudging the girl next to her and pointing in his direction. The girls reaction was the exact same.
This created a sort of domino effect as the boy next to her noticed Jay and everyone was telling the other of his sudden arrival. The once silent corridor was now beginning to fill with murmurs and whispers, all their eyes glued onto his figure that moved down the corridor, their shocked faces quickly changing into smiles and smirks.
It seems that Jay had a reputation of sorts.
"Why are you making so much noise? What did I just say about talking-"
The principal cut himself off from his scolding when he suddenly noticed Jay's presence, his face blanching as all the pieces clicked into place.
"Detective Halstead! What a surprise, we weren't expecting to see you so soon-"
This time Jay cut him off, not too bothered about his lack manners. "My brothers with Y/N at the hospital so I thought there was no other perfect time."
The principal remained silent.
"Now, why don't you explain to me why my sister fainted under your watch?"
The students behind Jay couldn't help but snicker knowingly.
#onechicago#one chicago x reader#one chicago imagine#halstead sister#jay halstead#will halstead#jay halstead imagine#jay halstead oneshot#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead x sister!reader#will halstead x reader#will halstead imagine#will halstead x sister!reader
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That Time of The Year
Genshin Impact - Cyno x Tighnari (N$FW)
Also on AO3!
A/N: This ended up being different from what I first planned, but I still the final result. This all started with silly (but not so innocent) conversation between friends so... yeah.
Also, shoutout to Mia (@/ticklygiggles) for listening to my rant about these two and encouraging this fic. It's her fault, btw.
Summary: It's January, that time of the year... do you know what it means? ~
Word count: 4283 words
Warnings: This is a N$FW fic, with clear depictions of nudity and sex. Minors DNI!!!
Tighnari’s curled his tail around his leg, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he tried to focus on something else. Anything else.
“Nari, are you s-”
“Y-yes- ahem, yes, I’m fine.” Tighnari repeated himself for the tenth time that night. He pressed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath as he tried to stop himself from having any weird ideas over Cyno’s… voice. Tighnari looked down to the pot in front of him, trying to distract himself by watching the water boil.
…
What a miserable state, he thought. He could hear Cyno sighing with concern and his fingers tapping on the table. His fingers?
Now that he thought about it, it reminded him of Cyno’s hands and how they were always gentle and- No! Tighnari shook his head, taking one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.
Letting Cyno in was a terrible idea, Tighnari told himself inside his mind, biting his thumb in a fruitless attempt to ease the “stress”. No, no, no… it’s fine, yes, totally. He just needed to drink some tea and get some sleep. Yes. just a nice and warm cup of Cyno and- Agh, no!
“Tighnari!”
The fennec opened his eyes wide and perked up his ears as Cyno’s voice finally reached him. Tighnari wasn’t sure for how long he had been daydreaming, but it should’ve been a while based on how troubled Cyno looked. “Sorry, I… ahm, dozed off for a second. You were saying?”
“The… pot, Nari. I think it’s-”
“Oh, right. Ahah…” Tighnari chuckled nervously, picking up the pot and pouring the water to finally brew his so-needed tea. As soon as the boiling water bathed the leaves, Tighnari took a deep breath, inhaling all the sweet scent. Yes, this was definitely going to help him. “If I knew you were coming over, I’d have prepared something else,” Tighnari said, back to his regular tone as he served Cyno a cup of the freshly brewed tea.
“You know there is no need,” the general replied to him, gently taking the cup in his hands before blowing some air to cool it off. “I just decided to check up on you because… you know, we are in that time of the year and you could…”
What was he saying, Tighnari asked himself, unable to keep paying attention to any other word. All he could focus on was how soft Cyno’s lips looked at that moment and how much he wanted to kiss him. With the steaming cup resting in front of him, Tighnari rested his head on his hand with a lost gaze on his eyes. Cyno’s voice was so distant that he could barely hear it, much less make some meaning out of whatever he was saying.
“You are doing it again,” Cyno muttered coldly, shaking his head in disapproval as he sipped from the cup.
When the scolding reached him, Tighnari nearly jumped out of his seat. “W-what? Doing what again? I’m not doing anything!” He protested, sounding as offended as possible.
Cyno blinked a few times with a puzzled look on his face. Tighnari sank his teeth into his lips, he knew he messed up his act this time.
“You’re… staring at me. A way more than a normal amount, if I may add.”
“So? Can’t I look at my partner?” Tighnari hissed, feeling the heat spreading across his face - which he tried to hide behind the cup as he pretended to drink the tea. Cyno chuckled and, archons, how Tighnari liked the sound of that. He could feel a shiver running up his spine, bad enough to make him flinch.
Tighnari watched with great care as Cyno placed his cup down and leaned forward, gazing back at him with half closed eyes. “Nari, you don’t have to… go through it alone. I can help you,” Cyno mumbled softly, reaching for Tighnari’s hands and holding them into his own.
Ugh… this was going to be a lot harder than he first expected it to be. “You don’t need to talk about it as if it is something important.” Tighnari looked down, embarrassed by the way Cyno addressed the matter.
During the beginning of the year, more specifically throughout January and February, the fennec foxes had their mating season: a time to find their partner, have kits and start a family. In Tighnari’s case, as he wasn’t an actual fennec fox, this time of the year just made him more… desperate.
He didn’t remember having trouble dealing with previous mating seasons, it was always something simple and that Tighnari could take care of by himself. But ever since Cyno came into his life, it became harder and harder to get rid of that needy feeling - nothing seemed to be… enough.
“It’s you I’m talking about and you are definitely important to me,” Cyno said, tightening the grip around Tighnari’s hands. Cyno knew very well what he was suggesting, all the pros and cons (was there any?) of his offer.
Tighnari averted his gaze, feeling the back of his throat going dry. To accept that was to admit that he was no better than a wild animal, that he couldn’t even fight some raw desires. He was better than that - he had taken care of it before and he knew he could do it again. He just… needed to find something else - of course, other than Cyno - to get himself going.
“I…” Tighnari started, wanting to play it cool and deny Cyno’s offer, but a part of him desperately wanted - craved - that offer. Tighnari could feel his tail wagging slightly at the idea of having sex with Cyno and he hated it.
He hated it because they already had sex before. Normal sex, sex that people that are not in heat have with their partners. Normal, regular sex and surely not what Tighnari’s body was craving right now.
To think about it, when was the last time they had it? There should be no harm in getting laid right now. Collei wasn’t home, Cyno seemed to be in the mood and-
Tighnari, no!
The forest guardian pulled his hands away from Cyno’s, covering his eyes and shaking his head. What kind of thoughts were those? That wasn’t like him at all! “S-sorry, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Cyno.”
Tighnari hurriedly picked up the cups - not even worrying to check if Cyno finished his tea or not - and took the sink with the rest of the dishes. If he had an act going on, it was surely a goner now.
“I-it’s different, Cyno, I will-”
“What will you do, my desert flower?” Cyno whispered, gently pressing his lips on the back of Tighnari’s ear as he hugged the forest watcher from behind. The sound that left Tighnari’s mouth could only be described as a shriek - a really loud one. Tighnari was so absorbed into his horny ideas that he didn’t notice when Cyno got so close to him. Tighnari pressed his fingers into the furniture in front of him, hard enough that would make those wooden pieces scream in pain if they could talk.
“I expected you to know me better,” Cyno continued, making Tighnari bit his inner lip as he tried to hold himself back from letting out any other embarrassing noise. One of Cyno’s hands traveled up to Tighnari’s chest, while the other gently rubbed circles of his stomach. “If I’m troubling you… just say the word and I will be miles away. Do you want me to go away, Nari?”
“N-no, I… I don’t…” Tighnari’s breath hitched, his hands trembling and butterflies swirling inside his stomach. His tail shyly wrapped itself around Cyno’s leg - almost as if to ask him to not go away. “But it’s different, Cyno. I would just use and-”
“Pfft…”
Tighnari stopped at the sound of Cyno’s chuckles - those low, composed and deep noises that made a shiver run up his spine. Tighnari gritted his teeth, slightly lowering his head in embarrassment as he felt himself getting hard at that sound. “D-don’t laugh, you don’t know how hard it is!”
“My desert flower, if you wanted to scare me…” Cyno mused, reaching for Tighnari’s waist before turning him around to, finally, be able to look him in the eyes. “You shouldn’t threaten me with a good time.”
“You- ugh…” Tighnari scrunched up his shoulders, placing both his hands at Cyno’s chest, ready to push the general away, to shove him out of his way.
But he didn’t.
His body refused to do so.
“Let me aid you, Nari. Please,” Cyno said, holding one of Tighnari’s wrists and lifting his hand high enough for him to be able to plant a kiss against Tighnari’s palm, “just this once, use me.”
“Use me.” Those words made Tighnari’s heart beat as fast as if it was about to explode out of his chest. He opened his mouth to speak, but his words wouldn’t come out. It was like his mind went blank, completely wiped of any coherent thought.
“I will take as a yes, Nari,” Cyno grinned against the skin of Tighnari’s palm, pulling out his tongue to lick it from the middle to the spot between Tighnari’s middle and ring finger - a feeling that made Tighnari’s dick throb inside his pants, not to mention the lewd sight and the double meaning behind the act.
Tighnari leaned back slightly against the counter behind him, allowing Cyno to shorten the already small distance between their bodies. The forest watcher sighed - pleased, really pleased - when he felt Cyno’s lips against his neck. The fur of his tail stood on its ends as chills ran down straight to his loins, even making his knees shake slightly.
“C-Cyno, that- hmph… t-that tickles…” Tighnari pressed his eyes shut, the corner of his lips curling up slightly. Despite his protests, Cyno continued to play and tease Tighnari, taking small portions of that sensitive skin between his lips and marking it with his teeth or just sucking it to leave hiccups that had a deep, dark shade of red. “A-ah!”
“You dislike it when it tickles, Nari?” Cyno grinned, wrapping one arm around TIghnari’s back and making him press his body against his. His other hand, in the meanwhile, continued to travel down, meeting the base of Tighnari’s tail. “Should I stop?”
“Agh-ah… no, d-don’t stop it…”
“Even if it tickles?” Cyno smiled sweetly, using his fingers to gently massage that sweet spot, rubbing circles over the base of TIghnari’s spine, just above his tail.
“Eheven if… if it t-tickles,” Tighnari stuttered over his own words, a mess of moans, giggles and sighs coming out of his mouth. He dropped his head back while his arms rested around Cyno’s shoulders. Archons, that felt good.
Tighnari didn’t know what he should focus on: the kissing on his neck, the arm wrapped around his back or the fingers fiddling with his tail. Cyno definitely knew what he was doing and all Tighnari was able to do was to open his mouth and moan.
“You’re so pretty, Nari,” Cyno said, caressing Tighnari’s tail one last time before moving his hand down, sneaking it inside the back of Tighnari’s pants and firmly gripping his ass. “Let’s go to the room and- hmph! Hnngh…”
Before Cyno could finish, Tighnari grabbed him by the little clothing he had on top of his chest and pulled him closer, pressing one kiss after the other. Tighnari’s tongue invaded Cyno’s mouth, almost as if to forbid him from moving his head away. His mind was in a haze, the only thing occupying the room that once belonged to his thoughts was Cyno. His voice, his taste, his scent, his body, his everything.
After seconds that felt like eternity, Cyno managed to break their kiss. A strand of saliva still connected their mouths as both men wheezed, gasping for air. Cyno felt like he would’ve passed out from the lack of oxygen if that kissing any longer, but the hunger in Tighnari’s eyes showed him that just those seconds weren’t enough for him.
“No…” Tighnari gasped, still clinging onto Cyno’s clothes, “I want it now… let’s do it here.” He looked up, studying Cyno’s reactions to his commands and was pleasantly surprised when the man in front of him smiled, simply nodding to his request.
“Whatever you say, Nari,” Cyno continued to use one hand to keep fondling Tighnari's asscheek, squeezing it and even teasing the rim of his asshole by caressing it with two of his fingers. His other hand - with a bit of Tighnari’s help - worked to strip the forest watcher, railing up Tighnari’s shirt all the way up to his neck, from where the fennec fox himself pulled it out and tossed it aside.
Tighnari’s skin was smooth - even more than usual. His whole body felt like it was on fire and a beautiful faint shade of pink adorned his skin. Cyno couldn’t help but to notice that Tighnari’s smell was also a little sweeter - were all those effects of the mating season?
“W-what are you waiting for?” Tighnari’s desperate, needy voice broke into Cyno’s things. By the way he huffed, Cyno could tell he was growing impatient. How cute.
“Apologies, my desert flower, I just took a moment to admire how mesmerizing you are tonight…” Cyno mumbled softly, slowly pushing two fingers inside Tighnari’s ass, making his partner moan sweetly as he gently rubbed the fleshy walls that promptly squeezed his fingers.
Tighnari tightened the grip on Cyno’s clothes, his nails nearly piercing the cloth as pleasure started to run across his body. Cyno moved his hands, pulling his fingers a couple of inches back before pushing them inside again, going all the way until he could press and stimulate Tighnari’s prostate in a way that made him sob in pleasure. “A-ahh, more… C-Cyno, t-that’s not enough…”
“I know, Nari, but I’ll hurt you if we go too fast… Try to relax…” Cyno instructed, whispering those words straight into Tighnari’s ear, his lips gently blowing the air against the sensitive skin. However, despite his partner’s worries, all Tighnari could feel was the burning sensation on his lower body, desperately craving for more. “I told you, use me, Nari.”
Cyno chuckled sweetly as he placed his leg between Tighnari’s, pressing his thigh against his partner’s crotch and making a sharp gasp escape his lips. Tighnari promptly moved his hips, grinding against Cyno’s leg. That, combined with the fingers pressing on his behind, made Tighnari’s dick leak even more. He would hump his hips forward to get more of that sweet friction and on the moment he moved them back, Cyno would press his fingers inside TIghnari’s ass, stimulating the forest watcher from all sides.
“H-hng… but I-I want you…” Tighnari cried, feeling drool sliding from the corner of his lips as he savored that raw pleasure. Still, it was not enough. Even if it drew him closer to an orgasm, he knew it wouldn’t do the work to ease his needs.
“Of course, of course…” Cyno hummed, pulling his fingers out and reaching for the waistband of Tighnari’s pants, lowering them along with his underwear. “Then allow me, Nari…”
“Just… h-hurry, you big lummox…” Tighnari hissed, using all the last bits of self-control left in his body to stop moving, allowing Cyno to remove the rest of his clothes.
Taking a step back, the general Mahamatra dared to ‘waste’ a few seconds admiring this side of his partner he didn’t have the chance to meet before. Tighnari was a mess, but a hot one. Disheveled hair, skin covered in a beautiful shade of pink and gleaming with a thin layer of sweat and precum dripping for the tip of length. Archons, what a man, Cyno thought.
“I’m the luckiest man in Teyvat, my desert flower,” Cyno teased, starting to strip himself as well, making sure to put up a show to his partner. Tighnari, already too horny to just stand idly and wait, reached for his own cock, slowly stroking himself as he watched Cyno’s clothes come out one by one, using his palm to caress his tip and spread the drops of his seed over the rest of his dick, making it easier for him to stroke faster. “Am I really being this slow… or are you just really impatient?” Cyno grinned, holding Tighnari’s waist with both his hands as he approached his partner again.
“C-come do it yourself and find out, general,” Tighnari mumbled, his voice already a little hoarse.
“Was that a request or one of your smart answers, my desert flower?”
Tighnari sighed, lifting his right leg and wrapping it against Cyno’s now bare waist. The forest watcher placed his palms on the pecks of Cyno’s chest and rubbed his gently, moving his hands up to his shoulders and then intertwining his fingers behind Cyno’s neck. “I don’t know… maybe both.”
For a couple of seconds, silence engulfed them both. Cyno and Tighnari stared each other into their eyes, knowing very well they didn’t need words to understand each other at that moment.
With his hard cock already resting between Tighnari’s asscheeks, Cyno leaned forward and kissed the other man. The wet, sloppy sounds of the lips beginning to fill the room that was once quiet.
They kissed again, again and again, both men gasping deeply for air in the short moments of break, trying to not let their lungs run out of air. Tighnari wasn’t sure if it was the levels of oxygen on his brain going low or if it was another one of those stupid mating season’s effects, but the forest watcher found himself caught in a daze.
Tighnari’s dick continued to leak, his seed dirting Cyno’s body as they continued to make out. And, at last, Cyno skifully moved his hips, finally thrusting his dick inside Tighnari’s ass, making both men moan loudly into their kiss. Cyno pressed his eyes shut, not able to hold himself in place anymore and lowered his head, hurriedly trying to fill his lungs with air. Tighnari’s insides squeezed his length like they never did, catching the general by surprise.
“A-agh, N-Nari..! R-relax a bit… I can’t move l-like this…” Cyno whimpered, burying his face in the crook of Tighnari’s neck, licking over his collarbone before pressing his teeth into the soft, smooth skin.
But as Tighnari didn’t get the stimulation he so desperately craved for in the following seconds - which Cyno tried to use to grow accustomed - the forest watcher decided to take the matter into his own hands. Using his leg around Cyno’s waist to keep the general close to him, Tighnari began to swing his hips, pulling his body slightly up before letting it go down, allowing Cyno to push his hard dick all the way inside.
Finally, after days of daydreaming, Tighnari felt Cyno’s dick thrusting his ass, pressing his prostate as it moved in and out of his eyes. And, for the first time, Tighnari didn’t dislike being in heat: having give in to his raw desires made sex few better than it ever did. “A-ahh! Cyno, h-harder, hnngh!” TIghnari moaned, moving one of his hands to hug Cyno’s hang, pressing it against his neck while the other held on Cyno’s shoulder for Tighnari’s dear life.
Despite being a hot, moaning mess himself, Cyno still smiled. After covering Tighnari’s collarbone with hickeys, Cyno kissed his lover’s jaw. “Keep… calling my name, it’s so hot when you moan it like that, Nari…”
Cyno let go of TIghnari’s waist to move one of his hands before the leg wrapped around his body, hooking Tighnari’s leg to make it easier to fuck his ass. His other hand, in the meanwhile, continued to rest over Tighnari’s hips, helping the forest watcher to move and teasing him with squeezes and pinches that send a delicious ticklish feeling to Tighnari’s brain.
Tighnari threw his head to the side, feeling small droplets of water clinging to the corner of his eyes. Just like he was instructed, Tighnari moaned Cyno’s name one too many times. The combined feeling of lips pressing and playing with neck, fingers tickling and digging into his waist and a dick pounding into his ass was, indeed, an effective method to fight the mating season’s effects.
“A-Archons, ahhh!! ~ I-I’ll kill you if you st- ahn!!” Tighnari choked on his own sounds, unable to finish his words as Cyno seemed determined to actually fuck him senseless.
Yet, knowing Tighnari like no other did, Cyno knew very well what Tighnari was trying to say. The general smiled, kissing the other men’s lips. “You get even hotter when you threaten me, my desert flower.” Letting go off Tighnari’s hip, Cyno used his free hand and tightly wrapped his fingers around Tighnari’s dick, starting to stroke it in sync with his own thrusts.
Using Tighnari’s seed as some sort of lube, Cyno began to move his hand faster and faster, going all the way from the base to tip. As the pumping went on, Tighnari felt his leg going weak, his knee threatening to give in while a burning sensation swirled inside his loins and he knew he was getting close.
“Are you liking it, Nari?” Cyno gasped, his face barely inches away from Tighnari’s. Cyno moved his hand up a bit, giving the tip of Tighnari’s dick a special attention as he rubbed it with his palm, making the forest watcher let out a sharp cry of pleasure. Cyno chuckled, again. “I’ll take it as a yes.”
“H-hnng- just d-don’t- ahh! D-don’t stop!”
“I wasn’t planning to,” Cyno would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy this needier and hornier side of Tighnari. He would also be lying if he said he wasn’t getting close himself, after all, Tighnari hadn’t stopped moving his hips for a single moment ever since Cyno first thrusted his dick inside his ass.
With thrust after thrust, Cyno continued to work for both men’s orgasm, with his partner clearly being the one that craved it the most. Exchanging looks for merely a couple of seconds - and with it being enough for them to understand each other - Tighnari leaned his head in, pressing his lips against Cyno’s and using both arms to support his body, wrapping them around his partner’s shoulders.
With Tighnari’s body weighing on him, Cyno pressed the forest watcher against the counter and pulled Tighnari’s other leg up from the ground. Groping at Tighnari’s thighs, Cyno now could handle his body as much as he wanted, pounding harder and thrusting deeper into Tighnari’s ass.
“T-this- angh!! C-Cyno!” Tighnari managed to utter in a short moment between his moans, feeling like his body was going to melt into a puddle at any given moment. Archons, he was so, so close! “H-hmph..! M-more, plehease!”
If the general was able to say something, he would be sure to whisper something sweet like ‘as you wish, Nari’ or ‘I’ll give you as much as you want, my desert flower,” but Cyno was too busy groaning and grunting, digging his fingers into Tighnari’s legs and pushing his length all the way inside him.
The oh-so-desired climax was right next to them, they just needed a tiny little push to reach it. Tighnari gritted his teeth, trying his best to not make the claw marks that he left at Cyno’s shoulders any worse.
And, finally, with a loud cry, it happened.
Tighnari tightened his legs around Cyno’s waist, pressing his ass against his partner’s lap as hard as he could as if to make that moment of bliss last as long as possible. A white, creamy and hot stream of seed shot up from his still-hard length, his cum splattering his and Cyno’s midriff while his eyes rolled back. Tighnari felt his whole body tensing, from the tip of his ears all the way down to his curled toes. Cyno had to dedicate some extra strength to hold the fennec in place, unable to help but to notice how the air barely made its way through Tighnari’s throat - a sight that rubbed his ego just right, almost as if patting him in the shoulder and saying ‘good job, Cyno, you did it’.
A strangled moan managed to break through Tighnari’s lips as the forest watcher came down from his high, wrapping his hands around Cyno’s neck as he tried to pull his upper body up. “S-sorry, hngh… I-I couldn’t hold it…” Tighnari whined softly in his embarrassment, feeling the ‘emptiness’ on his insides and quickly figuring out the meaning behind it.
“Hey,” Cyno smiled, resting his forehead against Tighnari’s once the man looked up to him, “I told you I was going to help you, so don’t feel bad for anything, Nari,” he muttered sweetly, gently kissing the tip of Tighnari’s nose.
“But do we… have to stop now?” Tighnari muttered, using the tip of his fingers to draw shapes on Cyno’s nape while his tail wagged mischievously behind his back. “I still…” Tighnari started, holding his lips next to Cyno’s ear as he whispered something.
Cyno gulped, a faint heat spreading across his face while his eyes widened. “Uh… s-sure, I- ahm, I can do that for you, Nari.”
The fennec grinned, slightly bearing his teeth as he tilted his head. “I can’t tell if you are scared or excited, general,” Tighnari teased, leaning in for a kiss.
“A mix of both, my desert flower,” Cyno whispered back with a nervous chuckle and followed the lead, pressing another deep kiss into those lips he loved and cherished with his whole heart.
There was still a long way until the end of February, after all.
#genshin impact#cyno#tighnari#cyno x tighnari#cynonari#spicy#n$fw#fanfic#i dont know what else should i add here lol#it feels so empty without the usual stuff#anyway#hope you enjoyed
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the right one. (m)
pairing: bestfriend!hyuck x reader
words: 2.8k+
summary: donghyuck doesn’t like you going on dates with anyone else, especially lee jeno. you’re supposed to be his. and only his.
genre: smut
warnings: yandere vibes, a little dub con, anal sex, squirting, overstimulation, oral sex, breeding, degradation, thigh riding, it’s just filthy because i miss hyuck
i haven’t posted since january? oops…
“I think you’re overreacting.”
Donghyuck watches as you apply a sinful shade of red to your lips, leaning over his bathroom sink to double check the smudges. He’s tempted to push you down further and hike up your skirt so he can slide right in. His mind is pumping on dirty thoughts and jealousy, revolving around the thought of you wearing all of this for Lee Jeno.
“He’s not even funny,” he attempts to warn you and you sigh.
“He doesn’t have to be funny if I’m just fucking him, Hyuck.”
Your best friend watches as you adjust the straps of your thin dress, fabric barely covering your ass. He swallows when you sit on the edge of his bed, pulling on a pair of thigh high boots that make your legs look even more tempting.
“But do you really want to fuck him? I mean, I heard that Jeno gets extremely attached. Like he gets so attached that it’s annoying,” he rambles, and your eyebrows furrow in confusion. You know what Donghyuck is saying is bullshit — Jeno is the resident fuckboy on campus, he never gets attached to anyone. You wonder what has Donghyuck’s mind so scrambled, especially since this is the first date in months you’ve been on. You thought your best friend would be happy you’re getting some dick and not eating ice cream by yourself anymore.
“What’s wrong with you?” You ask, standing and crossing your arms over your chest.
He quickly adjusts his pants to conceal his obvious hard-on at the sight of you. “I just don’t understand why you’re doing this. If you wanted some dick, you could’ve just asked me.”
You blink twice. “What?”
He has the audacity to roll his eyes. “You heard me.”
“Hyuck, you’re being ridiculous.”
You gasp when you’re pinned to the bed in a flash, face shoved into Donghyuck’s sheets.
“What the fuck are you doing?” You squeal, feeling him pull up your dress.
“You’re a fucking whore, you know that?” He growls at the sight of your lace panties, wondering if you wore them just for Jeno. “Who the fuck are these for? Do you even wear any of this for me?”
“Why the fuck would I wear this for you?” You hiss, egging him on even further. If you’re being honest, you’ve wanted to be in this position for a while. Donghyuck and you have always danced around the conversation of being together, mainly because you’ve been best friends for so long and never wanted to make things awkward. You’ve dangled guy after guy in front of him, hoping he’ll get the courage to snap.
“Shut up,�� he hisses loudly. “Just shut up.”
You hear the click of his belt buckle and your body tingles in excitement. You smile to yourself, burying your cheek in his pillow.
“This is weird,” you ramble, wanting to push him further. “I highly doubt you could fuck me better than Jeno.”
“Oh yeah?” He growls, his chest vibrating in frustration. You gasp when his fingers pull your panties aside, and he drops down to take a lick up your slit.
“H-Hyuck, wait-“ you stutter, scrambling for something to hold onto.
“You’re the one who wanted to be a filthy whore. I’m just giving you exactly what you need, baby.”
You whimper when you feel his tongue prod your folds, lips sucking you greedily. Donghyuck had a brief fling with your friend, Hyojung, last year and she used to tell you about how good your best friend was at eating pussy. You always thought she was exaggerating because you’ve definitely had your pussy eaten like it was the last meal on earth before, and you didn’t think Donghyuck could measure up.
Boy, were you wrong.
“Shit, Hyuck,” you curse, already feeling your thighs tremble. You don’t even know where he learned how to do this — he was sucking your folds with such fervor that you knew you were approaching your high quickly.
You can almost feel his smirk on your thigh as he slips a finger in. You swear you grow even wetter when he leans over, opening his mouth and letting his spit travel down your ass.
“Ever been fucked here?” He asks, finger circling your other hole.
You hit your climax at the thought of Donghyuck fucking you in the ass, imagining yourself stretching wide to make room for him. He fondly chuckles, watching you fall apart. He leans back down to suck up your orgasm, the remnants dripping to his sheets.
When you come to, Donghyuck is next to you, sitting upright on the other side of the bed. He leans against the headboard and smirks.
“You didn’t answer my question, princess.”
You blink, trying to remember what he asked. “What?”
He laughs. “Damn. I know for a fact Jeno could not have done that.” He brushes your hair out of your face so he can wipe away some of your tears. “I asked you if you’ve ever been fucked in the ass.”
“No,” you whisper. “Sometimes I’ll put a toy in there because it makes me orgasm harder.”
His eyes darken at your confession. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” you mumble, suddenly feeling really small underneath his gaze.
“How about you give me a show first?” He pats his thigh, covered in the ripped jeans you love to see on him. Unbeknownst to you, he started wearing them more often after noticing your lingering stare on his thighs. “Come take your seat, baby.”
You find the strength to haul yourself up to straddle his thigh. He grins at the hesitant expression on your face.
“What’s wrong? Never done this before?”
You bite your lip and shake your head. “No.”
He hums. “Guess there’s going to be a lot of firsts for you today.” His hands grip your hips, showing you how to rock back and forth on him. You gasp at the feeling of your exposed pussy on the soft skin of his thigh. “You know, I always wanted to have every single one of your firsts. First kiss, but you gave that to Jaemin. First date, but you gave that to Chenle. First time, but you gave that to Mark. Every time, I waited for you to ask me. You never did.”
“I-I’m s-sorry,” you apologize, moaning when he clenches his thigh and moves you faster. “I didn’t k-know.”
“Yeah fucking right,” he scoffs at your poor excuse. “You love to play the stupid, innocent girl who sits at the library and does all her homework. You think I don’t know how the other guys talk about you? Yangyang wouldn’t fucking shut up about you riding him in the karaoke room after we all left. Dirty slut.”
You gasp when his hand collides with your ass, still wearing some of his rings.
“That hurts,” you cry, ignoring the pool of wetness that’s leaking out of you.
“Yeah? You think that hurts? Imagine watching all your friends fuck the girl you’ve always wanted. That fucking hurts.”
You shriek when you’re being manhandled again, Donghyuck moving you back on your stomach. You hear the rip of your dress and your underwear is flung somewhere to the side.
“I hate you,” he hisses lowly, hands kneading your cheeks and spreading you open so he can see the way your pussy drips for him. “I hate what you do to me. Look at how desperate you are. Is it for Jeno?”
“No, of course not!” You try to argue, but he shuts you up with another slap.
“Lies again. You know how I would make sure everyone knew you were mine?” He asks, and you can hear the smugness in his tone. “I’d cum inside you over and over again until you were nice and full. Then you’d be walking around with my baby in your belly, and no one would dare think you were anyone else’s.”
You gasp at the idea, desire pooling in your stomach.
“Oh?” He chuckles. “You like that? I knew you would, cum whore. I bet you’d get knocked up for anyone.”
“You,” you choke out. “Just you.”
You hear him taking off his jeans and watch him throw it to the side. You feel him lining up at your entrance and he takes a deep breath.
“Tell me you want this first.”
You can hear the hesitation in his voice, and you know he’s trying to distinguish if this is real or another game you’re playing. You glance over your shoulder and lock eyes with him.
“Want you. Only you. Nobody else, I promise.”
It’s all he needs to push into you and you moan at the stretch. You don’t get a chance to look at his cock, but if you had to guess from Hyojung’s ramblings, he was pretty big.
“Fuck, baby,” he whispers breathily. You almost cum at the deep rasp in his voice. “Gonna breed you here and then mark you in your little rosebud.”
You nearly forgot about Donghyuck’s promise to steal some of your firsts, only being reminded when his thumb dances around your other hole again.
He sinks deeper and deeper into your pussy until you’re sure you can feel him in your throat. Desperation kicks in and you eagerly fuck yourself back on him, swiveling your hips lewdly.
“Please, Hyuck, want you so bad,” you whine.
“God, you’re such a slut,” he laughs, watching you grow more and more frantic around his cock. “You’ll do anything for cock, won’t you?”
You’re startled when one of his hands grip your hips roughly, stopping your movements. You’re about to protest until he lifts up one of your legs, fully pushing you into the mattress. He begins to drill into your sopping pussy, squelching sounds filling the room.
You think you’re screaming at this point, no care in the world for Donghyuck’s neighbors. You fail to notice him thrusting at different angles, trying to find the spot that would make you fall apart.
He’s mumbling to himself, and you barely catch onto it. “Pussy’s so tight, fuck,” he rumbles. “Could stay in here all day. Want to breed you so fucking badly.”
“Inside,” you beg, voice starting to fade. “You’ll cum inside?”
“Yeah, baby,” he grins at your delirious state. “I’ll cum deep inside. Don’t worry.”
He suddenly slams against a spot that makes you cry loudly, gripping his bedsheets like your life depends on it.
“There we go.”
He begins ramming into you with more power, and you swear he was trying to make you pass out. You’re mumbling incoherent thoughts, but Donghyuck can faintly hear you asking him to breed you.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to make you squirt. Is that a first for you, darling?”
You manage to nod.
“Good. I’ve made other girls squirt before, but I used to imagine how pretty you would look doing it. Fucked myself into my hand at the thought until I was exhausted.”
His thumb moves to your clit, slowly pressing down on the bud. Fire burns inside of you at his touch, and an unknown pressure starts to build.
“Hyuck, w-what-“
“It’s okay,” he soothes you, continuing to press deep into your womb. “Just cum for me, baby. You’ll feel a lot better.”
Your body gives in at his permission, and you moan and moan until you can’t feel your legs.
“Fuck fuck fuck,” you whimper.
It takes you a while to come to and when you finally do, you notice your thighs are covered in your slick. Donghyuck’s taken his cock out of your pussy and replaced it with his fingers. When he notices you’re coherent again, he laughs.
“I wanted it to go everywhere and you did exactly as I asked, crazy whore.”
His fingers are still prodding more of your juices to pour out onto the sheets.
“What happened?” You choke, lips feeling dry from all the screaming.
“You squirted like I wanted you to, baby. That’s what it feels like to have a really good orgasm,” he explains.
You glance back and notice Donghyuck’s lower half is covered in your slick, and the sheets are stained by your orgasm. You’ve never had that experience before and you feel slightly lightheaded.
“You did so well for me, princess,” he compliments, withdrawing his fingers from you. You whine at the loss. He leans over and opens his bedside drawer, grabbing a bottle of lube. You watch him squeeze a fair amount into his hands before spreading it around your other hole. “Ready for the next first?”
You weakly nod. “Whatever you want, Hyuck.”
He smiles deviously. He pushes his pointer finger into your hole, allowing you to get used to the stretch first. You moan at the unfamiliar feeling, eagerly welcoming his fingers.
He takes his time with you, letting you accommodate his fingers first before moving forward. You’re three in when you decide you want more.
“I’m okay, Hyuck,” you assure him. “Want your cock, please.”
“Whatever baby wants.”
He retracts his fingers and squeezes more lube into his palm. You watch as he reaches down and spreads it all over his cock, feeling your mouth water at the sight.
“Don’t drool,” he teases you. “You’ll have your taste one day, baby.”
You push your hips towards him, arching your back. He pushes inside your hole, and you groan at the initial burn. His fingers could never have prepared you for this stretch, but you hold out until he’s fully seated inside.
“Good fucking slut,” he praises, watching as he disappears into you. “Fuck, baby. You’re tight everywhere.”
Your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head, the oversensitivity hitting you like a truck. Donghyuck starts thrusting into you once you moan, cock splitting you open like you’ve never felt before.
“Oh my fucking God,” you whimper, never having felt this full before. “Hyuck, p-please!”
“Next time, we’re doing this at your apartment. I’m going to use all those toys you have to make sure all your holes are filled. You’ll really be crying then.”
You don’t notice the tears falling until he points it out. You must look like a mess — the hair you had curled for your date with Jeno is now a tangled mess on your head, and the pretty makeup you wore for him is streaking down your face. But you couldn’t give any fucks at all, Donghyuck was fucking you so good that it was hard to think about anything else.
“Fucking masterpiece, you are,” he groans, watching you take his cock like a champ. “I want everyone to see how good you look like this, falling apart for me.”
“Hyuck, I think-“ you gasp, unable to piece the words together.
He rails into you harder, almost flinging you into his headboard. “Go on, princess. Show me how good I make you feel.”
You’re just a pile of limbs for him to fuck at this point, body slacking down on the mattress. He makes sure to adjust his position so that he can keep fucking you through your orgasm, chasing his own high.
You don’t realize you’ve squirted again until you hear the lewd sounds in the room grow louder. Your eyes flutter closed in exhaustion, body beginning to shut down.
When you wake up, you’re dressed in one of Donghyuck’s shirts and a pair of his boxers. The sheets are still stained with your combined orgasm, and Donghyuck’s cum is leaking from both your pussy and your ass.
The man to blame is pressing soft kisses against your collarbone, body slumped over yours lazily. “You finally awake, baby?”
You grumble. “Did I pass out?”
He chuckles. “Yes, you did. I only lasted a few more minutes inside of you and then I cleaned us up. How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” you reply honestly, eyes drooping again.
“Go to sleep, then. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
And Donghyuck, being the menace that he is, wakes you up a few hours later by pushing his cock into your pussy again. You wake with a jolt, screaming at the intrusion.
“Hyuck, what the fuck?” You exclaim, crying at being stretched so soon.
“Jeno called,” you hear him hiss into your neck. He’s spooning you, with one of your legs thrown around his waist as he fucks into you. His boxers are hanging off your ankle. “Asked why you didn’t show up for your date. I wanted to send him proof of what you’ve been up to. Need to cum inside you again, baby.”
“I can’t, I can’t,” you plead desperately, feeling so worn out.
“You can and you will. You’re mine now, remember? You promised me.”
Your best friend fucks you until you can barely remember your own name, all while your phone buzzes with numerous calls and texts from Jeno.
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You asked for my void success story? And my void journey? well I am sharing it bestie!!
But again I won't share any personal stuff some people here are obsessive pls lmao
I typed it when I was on the discord server because someone who is in my experiment asked me so I answered and I asked myself like why not sharing it here after all that time and all these things I am doing (coaching - the experiment - more....) and I am so excited to share the results of my experiment after exactly 6 days and actually 2 people joined the experiment but they were late!
So.....
• let's begin with my void journey!
Okay basically I am sure no one actually knows this except for like 3 people on Tumblr and like 20 people in my experiment (cuz they asked me) my life before entering was actually great I already had everything I wanted my mom and dad are literally my role models and my self-concept was perfect and I am not saying it as an affirmation it's just me and I was always finding something from time to time related to the void state and I worked more on my self-concept using my tape I made it in early - mid 2022 (actually the same tape I sell now) then I started collecting information about the void from literally everywhere back in late 2022 then I started applying in early 2023 I entered in January but didn't really plan to manifest anything because I had the same manifesting abilities in my daily life then I thought about it more than once so I made a list full of everything I can think of at that time and I entered in early 2023 again
• How I entered?
It was just normal i was in the USA specifically NY at that time I was listening to my self-concept tape it was almost 10pm and I felt like I will actually enter today and manifest everything I wasn't even planning to do it but I knew I will experience it's just a feeling I felt at that time and I was feeling a lot of love at that time too so I meditated I didn't affirm I didn't do anything it was fully my subconscious mind but it wasn't that deep to me it was normal EVEN THO IT WAS NORMAL all these days when I entered affirmed the affirmation that's connected to my void list then got out and found everything that was on my void list in my apartment IT WAS SO SURPRISING TO ME but I didn't get overwhelmed nor confused! It was a great surprise!
Also the time it was like 2am when I got out of my void state as I remember and I was sitting at the same place for almost 15 mins just realizing what happened with me and why my head feels like this it was a weird feeling I still can't find a name to it or a word that explains it! i thought about the word "dizzy" BUT it's not just dizzy and it's not really dizzy - it's just a different feeling!
• What was my void state like?
I will say everything that's on my mind
The first time I entered it was pitch black
Then I typed on my void list that it's full of stars it's like outer space because I chose it to be like that (you can choose how your void state looks like too)
It looked exactly like this and everytime I wake up there since that day because I didn't change it! 🫶🏻
Entering was so intense not emotionally but physically even tho I didn't feel my body 😭 it was as if my soul is getting out of my body it was so unexplainable and special to me my body was tired after it and I was feeling too much in my head after getting out and back to my physical body I don't have words for what I experienced the first time and the second time 😭 but now I have no symptoms because it was so annoying so I manifested it away when I woke up in my void state the second day (this was on my void list tho like waking up in my void state everyday and being in my void state everytime I take a nap) - that feeling in my head was so bad like as if I was so high and can't even focus for 15 mins non-stop! That's why I manifested not experiencing any symptoms at all.
• What did you manifest?
I manifested a lot of things I wanted but tbh having these things wasn't that far from me like I already could do it without entering my void state at all and I won't be specific about what I manifested cause they are a bit personal but they were friendships/relationships + businesses + apartments/homes + money/more investments..... and way more
Also I already had many investments before I entered my void state hope this clears everything too
cause many people were asking me about how do I have tips for entering without sharing my story the tips are here tho they are very helpful - it was because I don't like these people who come to your DMs and ask you to help them once and twice and 3 times with their trauma dump message or ask pls like no it was just too much for me when I posted once that I entered then deleted it but here we are again if it happens just don't blame me I will just block people.....
• About the experiment's results
I am not sure if I should post it day by day?
So I am gonna make a poll and see what y'all think!
Also.....
• POWERFUL AFFIRMATION TAPES
(self-concept - void state - shifting - subconscious mind....more) (personalized and unpersonalized) • (discounts for students and specific clients depending on their problems and their situations i am dealing with) - message me
• FOR COACHING
(self-concept - void state - shifting....more) • (discounts for students and specific clients depending on their problems and their situations i am dealing with) - message me
And now that's it! 💋💋
Have a good day/night cuties🫶🏻!
@voidsuccessarchive
@voidarchivefiles
@voidsuccess
@voidbaby111
That's the post! 💋
You can send me a message too if you wanna suggest any idea for a post or something specific I will give you credits if you want credits + If you have any questions related to my void journey or self-concept even coaching you can ask me babes 💋🫶🏻
I would really be thankful because gurl I am so busy with (my life, coaching, the experiment and more...) rn I can't even keep up with posting here so I scheduled this post lmao thanks to Tumblr for adding this feature for real!
#law of assumption#loassumption#loa#neville goddard#void success#loa success#self concept#success stories loa#self development#self esteem
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OK SO IM LATE BUT. MORE SUB3 NEWS!!!
so a few days ago, krafton (their publisher), apparently had this like presentation of their plans over the next like 2 years. and during that they talked a bit about sub 3!
and this obviously creates a LOT of questions. not to worry, though, because unknown worlds added on to this:
im honestly not surprised by this. iirc, when below zero released they said it would be a WHILE before the next game, and they only announced this back in like... january? now, the first game's release was in january, and bz was in may, so it's definitely possible early access with be in spring of 2025. those games did not have multiplayer aspections tho! its possible we'll wait until mid 2025, and full release will likely not be until 2026. but who knows? the first game took like ten to be fully finished!!
and honestly. THANK GOD. i can't imagine any subnautica game having BATTLE PASSES or LOOT BOXES. i would have just straight up ignored this game 😭
i do wonder what these updates will entail! "many years to come" is definitely something interesting to me, because other than bug fixes... i dont remember sub or bz getting many updates post full release. is this referring to bug fixes, or is it implying that it will be in a state of early access for much longer? are they going to just keep adding new things (like the building update for sub1) and taking fandom suggestions? very interested!!
maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but i actually,,,, dont want multiplayer. now i do like bz, and these games arent really intended to be horror games, but also bz is very noticeablely less scary than sub1. and some of it i think definitely has to do with all the extra characters and dialogue. its hard to feel isolated when you know al-an and marg are nearby. so im very happy that it's optional, bc i know i will probably enjoy single player a lot more enjoyable!!
so now... SPECULATION.
so the first thing im curious about that the development team didnt mention:
"uncover the mysteries on an entirely new alien planet"
apprently we are NOT returning to 4546b. which im kind of sad about!! ik the story is very obviously done there, but it feels weird that its going to be some other planet this time around. THERE WONT BE PEEPERS!!!! (well there could be but it would be weird if some other random planet had the exact same lifeforms)
now my next immediate thought is: is this a direct continuation of below zero? my opinion is: no. probably not.
mostly because it mentions up to four players, and robin and alan are, if you look very closely, only two people. now they COULD just create two new characters to go alongside them (my fanfic brain loves the au idea of marg and ryley 🥺) but im just going to assume that with the addition of a new planet, we're going to drop the old storylines. which means no more degasi, sunbeam, aurora, or ayou sisters. we might move away from architects/precursors altogether! (my basis on this is absolutely nothing and i could be wrong, this is 100% just theorizing)
also, i imagine that it would be difficult to keep the plot the exact same with two established characters and then two new ones, depending on how this multiplayer aspect works. if its another crash, it would be a lot easier to just have the extra players die/survive, then try to work in a balancing act of one guy playing al-an.
(also i like keeping the ending of bz vauge. if they show up again, they would have to mention what happened to the rest of the architects, and i think it's much more fun if thats a mystery!)
((also also, im gonna drop a bomb on u all for a second. i actually,,, dont like al-an. i have a deeper connection to probably every single other character in bz. i think they really fumbled al's character and story and he is so incredibly bland to me. it feels like they go nowhere with how he was responsible for the kharra outbreak because the game ends immediately after he confesses! it would be nice to give him another chance, sure, but i personally dread the idea of even more al-an. sorry everyone for this horrible news))
HERE'S A CONCEPT IMAGE
i hope they bring back some cut content creatures for this!! i noticed this new area looks VERY similar to the safe shallows, and several of the fish seem to be variations of ones we've already seen (im already seeing bladderfish and hoopfish color pallettes, and the shark resmbles some early concept art for the shadow leviathan, but with the ice worm's colors...)
will there be more land areas?? is it going to entirely underwater?? more kharra?? NO DISEASE AT ALL?? AAAAAA!!!!
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Still in shock that they took all the songs down BECAUSE??? IT JUST LEAVES US WITH MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS???
I KNOW?? Like okay here’s everything weird about the situation because it’s only 7 am I feel like I need lay it all out to process this. So, timeline time I guess! (I combined several images into one a few times bc of Tumblr’s 10 image per post limit but I hope everything still makes sense)
Starting January 5, the Ever After High Spotify (and Apple Music I guess although I was only checking the Spotify) began posting songs as singles. The first was called “Can’t Get Me Down” which had a screenshot of Raven from the episode “Rebel’s Got Talent” as the album cover.
Following that, two weeks later, on January 19, we get a song called “Unbreakable” which also has a screenshot of Raven from the show, from the “The Tale of Legacy Day” episode. At this point the songs are gaining attraction because what the heck, Ever After High content in 2024? Is it coming back?
People are also pointing out that Mattel renewed their licenses for some Ever After High stuff, but also companies do that all the time and I think they did it specifically for their webisodes so that they couldn’t be reposted/reuploaded to YouTube or whatever by a party that wasn’t them. It makes sense (Also I can’t actually verify which if any things they did actually renew because all I heard was people claiming that I never saw any proof)
Also at this point, both songs have given Allison Bloom composing credit, which fans thought made sense since Allison Bloom was also a composer on Ever After High content before
ONE week after “Unbreakable”, instead of two like last time, on January 26, we get the third song, Destiny, with a screenshot of promo art for the Epic Winter storyline of Briar, Crystal, Ashlynn, and Rosabella. Once again, composing credit to Allison Bloom. People are so confused, lots of people are reaching out to Mattel’s social media trying to make sense of it all. Also this song in particular had the trademark misspelled as “Ever Aftert High” which could be the reason for something happening later
Actually, before Destiny was released, someone on Reddit apparently got in contact with Bloom and asked if she had any insight as to what was up with the songs, and Bloom said, “I honestly don't know because I am not currently working on the project. Your note was the first I had heard of it. Wish I had more to tell you!” which led people to suspect Mattel was making AI generated songs but using Bloom’s name to release them, possibly because they still had a contract with her (though that is purely speculation)
Same Redditor also emailed Mattel customer support, who gave a very corporate response, but in their email used the phrase “AI-generated songs uploaded to the EAH Spotify list” blatantly calling the music AI generated in this email
One week after “Destiny”, on February 2, we get “Brand New Day” which is another single with another screenshot from the show as the cover, this time of Crystal Winter from the Epic Winter episodes
Three days after “Brand New Day”, on February 5, people realize that “Destiny” has been taken down, but ONLY Destiny. Some speculate this is due to the typo in the trademark upon release. The rest stay up
One week after “Brand New Day”, on February 9, the song “Forever Friends” with art of Raven and Apple as the cover is uploaded
Later that same day on February 9, “Forever Friends” and all the other remaining songs, “Brand New Day”, “Unbreakable”, and “Can’t Get Me Down” have all been taken off the Spotify (and Apple Music) list
#sid rants#sid answers#thesilliestofgals#ever after high#THIS IS SO CONFUSING#i hope this timeline makes sense lol
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Idk if the emoji thing works but 🐺
AITA for ignoring my friend's relationship and waiting for it to end?
Background: I (20F) have known my best friend (19X) since we were 14. We've gone through a few different friend groups (nothing dramatic, just fading relationships) but have always stuck with each other, partially because we are both autistic. I know them very well and they have said that I am their main support system. They have BPD which causes them to get obsessed with someone, which normally I would not think is my business, but they have a history of getting obsessed with people who hurt them, and I've always tried to warn them if I felt someone had bad intentions.
They've recently escaped their abusive household which is really exciting but I worry might make them feel lonelier because they've been getting into more of these situations recently. There were a couple minor relationships where someone broke a boundary causing them to have a breakdown, but neither affected their safety. And a few months ago they were talking to an older man online who I got weird vibes from but only mildly hinted to them he was creepy, which made me feel guilty when it ended up being way worse than I thought and became a disaster.
About three weeks ago, they started roleplaying with some guy on twitter, which I didn't think much of since they mainly just talked about what a good writer he is and he seemed fine. But then they asked what I would think if they started dating him even though he's in his 30s and I kinda thought they were just looking for a reason not to do it, so I said no he's too old for you. But then they started trying to convince me it was a good idea which only made me more hesitant. Their evidence in favor included that he used to be in the military (they know i hate the military so I do not know why they admitted this) and pictures of him (I am gay so this would not convince me regardless). They seemed surprised by my negative reaction, I said sorry but you asked for my honest opinion, they understood and I thought this was the end of it.
But now they're legitimately online dating and they talk about him all the time, they don't seem to understand that I am not a fan of this relationship and expect me to react positively to everything he does. I don't react negatively or completely ignore them I just go "ok" or "cool." They might not notice this because I often have times where I can't speak much so it's unfortunately normal for me.
I haven't noticed any other red flags from this guy other than the age gap and the military thing, but those seem a lot worse to me because of my friend's history and penchant for ignoring red flags, so I feel like if something worse was going on I wouldn't even know. Apparently he's going to come visit them in August (it's January as I send this) and I feel like that's enough time that the relationship will either die out or end horribly before he actually has the chance to physically be around them.
I feel torn in two different ways. On the one hand, I know that I'm paranoid and overprotective, not to mention scared of men, so I could just be overreacting to the situation. I don't think he's going to murder them or anything, but they're sensitive and I don't want them to add someone to the long list of people who traumatized them. They ARE a legal adult so it technically shouldn't be a big deal but they're the first person to be creeped out by legal age gaps, they just don't seem to apply this logic to themselves. I'm also not super experienced in relationships, I've only had a few short casual ones so I am not at all an expert.
On the other hand, I felt like shit when the situation with the other guy blew up even though they never blamed me for it. I feel like I should be doing more to dissuade them but they didn't seem to care when I warned them before so I feel like it's a lost cause and I don't wanna be pushy, I want them to genuinely understand why it's not a good idea.
I feel like I'm damned if I do damned if I don't, so I've kinda just settled on passively not really giving them feedback on the relationship in the hopes they'll figure it out themselves? As always I check in on them, try to give them positive attention so they're not desperate for it, and if the relationship actually lasts til August I'll make sure I know their location so they can tell me if they feel unsafe.
I feel like an asshole no matter what I do, so what I'm asking specifically is AITA for basically just ignoring the situation hoping it solves itself? Either because I should be supporting it or because I should bring up my concerns with them again.
What are these acronyms?
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can you please do a Lover by Taylor Swift inspired fic for Mike and the reader celebrating Christmas in their own little way? I feel like the reader would introduce him to new holiday things and the three of them could have their own new family traditions together :) “we can leave the Christmas lights up till January…”
You're My Lover
a/n: ohmygod yes i love this idea sm. thank you for the request! (also i suggest listening to lover while reading ☺️ f/m= favorite meal😝)
Mike stood in the kitchen preparing dinner while you and Abby were finishing up the tree. "Hey, Abs. I'm going to go check on Mike! Be very careful with the ornaments, alright?" You spoke, and she nods, going back to putting the ornaments on the tree. You made your way to the kitchen to see him. The blinds in the kitchen were open and the glistening snow reflected onto his face just perfectly, reflecting onto his gorgeous features. Funny to think how three summers ago you felt like you were nothing, and now you feel like you're something, with him. "You just came in here to stare at me?" Mike's voice broke my thoughts, you look up at him and he's got that cute sassy smirk on his face. "Yeah, just give me a moment." you smirked, admiring his whiskey colored eyes. "Am I doing this recipe right, babe?" Mike goes to back to the counter and furrows his eyebrows, at the recipe that was laid out on the counter, next to the food prep.
You told Mike that every year when we would set up the Christmas tree and lights, your Mom or Dad would make f/m and once you told Mike it was a family tradition before you moved out, oh boy he had his heart set on making it for the three of you. "Mhm, you're doing it right, babes." you tuck your chin on his shoulder. "How long are we the tree and lights up?" Mike asks, you furrow your eyebrows in thought. "January seems nice." you respond with a slight smile growing on your face. Mike lets out a confused laugh, "January?" "Yeah, we would always keep the tree and lights up til then." you say in response. "Abs and I would usually take them down before New Year's" He lets out an airy laugh. You back off him and lean your back against the counter and look at him.
"Really?" you raise an eyebrow, "Well, I, I mean yeah?" Mike shakes his head confused. "I think that it would be cute, it's different. Do you think we should try it?" You question. He stops what he's doing and looks and you in thought, in a way that he is considering your idea. "I'm down, it's different." Mike nods. You smile and go over and press a kiss to his cheek.
"Thank you, Mike. That means a lot to me, that you're trusting me with this weird idea, I know that is out of your comfort zone." You go in for a hug, and again tuck your chin on his shoulder and he leans his head against your shoulder. "Thank you, for doing this with us." Mike sighs relaxing in your grip. "Doing what?" you respond back, slightly confused.
"Just, spending the holidays with us, ever since I was able to take Abby into custody it's been hard, and with you around I can tell it lifted her spirits, and mine. I'm grateful for you, Y/n" He says, looking into your eyes, holding onto your waist. You felt like your heart was going to explode, you've seen Mike be vulnerable around you, but you have never heard sometime like this from a partner ever. "Thank you for letting me into your life and Abby's life. I'm incredibly grateful for both of you, I love you." You say, kissing him.
"You're my lover, Y/n." He says before kissing you back.
(a/n: i really hope you enjoyed this!!! i loved writing this!!! plz dm me if there are any spelling errors 🩷)
#1989luvr#1989luvr updates#1989luvr writes#mike schmidt x reader#josh hutcherson#abby schmidt#mike schmidt fluff#fluff#christmas#fnaf#mike schmidt#taylor swift songfic#taylor swift lover#josh hutcherson fanfic
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February 2024 Review Roundup
well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month
the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.
i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess
House of Leaves
does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king
House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.
I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again
Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)
ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes
9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.
Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan
I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.
Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king
10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.
Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.
Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.
My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.
My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious
oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.
Rebuild of Evangelion
Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”
APPARENTLY NOT
[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]
I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.
While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.
I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.
Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.
My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:
This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up
There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies
High School Musical 3
kinda slaps just a little bit
High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere
Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:
The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.
What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg
Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:
Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it
The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.
One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:
What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????
Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)
There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return.
Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that
Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny
The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.
Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.
Some YouTube videos i liked in February:
💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya)
💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could)
💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game
💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels
And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!
…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel
Hazbin Hotel
well i didn’t like it
Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.
Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago
The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.
Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:
A boardroom
A video store
Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)
Various streets
Another boardroom
A BDSM club
Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)
A porn studio
A bar
Another bar
A town square (full of cannibals)
None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.
I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.
However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.
Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.
3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY
I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.
There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk
First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.
Then, it cuts straight to this shot:
A few things here.
Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.
Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.
And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:
In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.
Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:
The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:
Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:
Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.
And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.
Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.
MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS
Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:
The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.
This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.
Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.
Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.
Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.
I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.
I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.
I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:
The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.
I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.
You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.
well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye
#to get to my hazbin hotel opinions you must first read my pitch on how i would have written high school musical 3#jesus christ. either i gotta watch less things or learn to shut the hell up next month this is a longass post#review roundup#long post
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Part 1 ao3
A series of notes passed during private study periods in Hawkins High School Library, circa January—May, 1985.
A sheet of paper hastily ripped from its notebook, folded over with a crease down the middle.
—Harrington, did you just turn down that girl?
—What are you talking about?
—Hey, you can’t blame a guy for being nosy. You were the one deciding to TALK in a SACRED LIBRARY.
—If you heard us, why are you asking?
—Okay, sound doesn’t travel that far.
—Why don’t YOU tell me what happened considering you know everything?
—Wow. Touchy.
—Fuck off.
—Sorry. Thought we were just joking around. Didn’t mean to be a dick.
—It’s fine.
—You sure?
—I wasn’t ‘turning her down.’ She’s on the Yearbook Committee. Asking for photos.
—Too many pin-ups to choose from?
—Baby photos.
—What’s the problem? Did you come out the womb holding hairspray?
—No.
—Table it or ditch it?
—?
—It’s something my uncle says. If he asks me about stuff I don’t wanna talk about, I can either table it for later or ditch it completely. But if something keeps coming up and I keep saying to ditch it, then it automatically becomes a table it for later.
—That’s smart.
—Yup.
—Table it.
—Okay.
—? Why do you keep scoring out stuff?
—Sorry sorry. I can only think of baby photos now.
—Not against them in general. Feel free to talk about yourself, Munson.
—Uh-huh. I could hear the sarcasm in how you wrote that.
—Ha. No, really. I don’t mind.
—Well, lucky for you, talking about myself is my favorite subject.
—Lucky me.
—I thought I’d lost literally all of my baby photos. When I lived with my dad, the house got flooded and all of them were hit. Water damage. I had to get my books spread out on a radiator so the pages would dry, and that kinda worked for some of them. Photos were goners, though.
—That’s awful.
—Hold your horses, cowboy. But then when I moved to my uncle’s—we’re at the trailer park in Forest Hills—I saw he had all these photos stacked on a bookcase, and I thought they were all really old, like from when he was a kid and stuff, and some of them were, but he had whole entire ALBUMS of me. Way more than my dad ever had.
—That’s cool.
—You’re so verbose, Harrington.
—I meant it. It’s just. I was just thinking.
—About?
—That’s not why I—I HAVE baby photos, that’s not the problem.
—Don’t sweat it, dude, you don’t need to tell me.
—It’s just. Rebecca, that’s who was talking to me, she kept going on about how everyone else has already sent in a baby photo or, you know, a photo from when they were a kid, and she was excited about it, it’s a whole new thing they’re doing for this year. They’re gonna do a special layout, old photos next to current ones, you know what I mean?
—Afraid I’ve never been privy to the wondrous goings-on of the Yearbook Committee.
—She said it’ll look weird if I’m the only one not doing it. But it’s—I don’t know. I know I could just pick any damn photo and send it in, it’d get the whole Committee off my back. But I think I’d feel weird at the thought of the whole year getting to see—god, this doesn’t even make sense, like I don’t mind them seeing at a photo of me NOW, but I don’t. I don’t like looking at old photos, I never have. I don’t know why. Guess I just don’t like looking back.
—Fuck what everyone else is doing. They’re YOUR photos. Forget the precious ‘layout.’
—Yeah, that’s sorta what I told her, minus the ‘fuck.’
—If it’ll shut them all up, you could send in one of mine. See who actually notices.
—No way.
—Yeah, I was just being stupid.
—No. Those are YOUR photos. Save them for your own Yearbook. Sounds like your uncle could fill the whole thing with pictures.
—Wouldn’t put it past him.
—Shit, is that the time? The bell’s gonna ring in five minutes. I’ve done NOTHING.
—The horror!
—I’m blaming you.
—Honored to be considered a distraction, Harrington.
-
A scrap of paper, hastily dropped into the pencil case of an unknowing Eddie Munson as the bell rang.
—Thanks.
#notes from hawkins high school library#epistolary fic#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#steddie#eddie and wayne munson#steve x eddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#pre steddie
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