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applin-bottom-jeans · 3 months

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trying to reorganize my life for new years

through the power of agile brainrot i'm doing a new thing for time tracking and i kind of want to share it here (especially since i don't have a real update for pigeon-splice like i wanted)

so last year i tried to figure out organizational methods for the stuff i had in my life because my current system - writing down weekly todos and then breaking those into daily tasks - wasn't really working, both in the short term (large tasks that need to be done during the day get kicked, forever) and long term (no tracking for long term projects with deadlines)

but then two things happened

i read up on agile stuff

i got put on a better release type of my meds and holy shit i am less wiaefrjueiwahjfdeioswAFHeouihf (and then got put back on the old version because of a miscommunication between docs and then put back on the new version, more on that later)

I'm not a big fan of kanban because i feel like in card form seeing all of the cards you have in your queue gets extremely overwhelming, especially if you dont have a good way of organizing them by tag (so really, i just hate trello).

but scrum. im in a deep love-hate relationship with scrum. Here's my understanding of scrum, which may not be entirely accurate, with commentary -

Sprint - a length of time where work is measured, usually 2 weeks - no comment, perfect length of time, love that

scrum points - how much work you think a task will take, which will help determine the amount of work you have planned for a sprint - this can get ambiguous depending on the work you do. What happens if something goes wrong? What happens if you need more information and need more time? I understand that there are many tasks that you can learn to estimate well, but at what point is a bad estimation due to your performance or outside factors?

burndown chart - how many scrum points you estimated vs how many you've actually done - this helps with the issue with points and i think its good in theory but also i really don't want a chart of how poorly im doing thats easily accessible by someone higher up in the food chain who might want to decide who to lay off

Sprint planning - a meeting where you plan what will be in a sprint - great. no commentary.

standup - a meeting with your team every day to discuss what you're working on - introspection is good but why do i have to tell my entire team this information every single day. i have an anxiety disorder

sprint review - discussing how the sprint went and how much you got done - good, great

sprint retrospective - basically the same as the review but with vibes - not sure why this is a different meeting but ok

Basically i like the idea of scrum and i really like the philosophy of its work tracking but i feel like the implementation of it in a team turns it into glorified micromanagement. But this is for personal use? Seems good, lets try it out

This still doesn't really help solve the long term project problem but for that i organized the year into financial quarters, like a completely normal person.

So for every quarter this year, i'm planning on having a set of quarter wide goals (duration measured in a month or more), a sprint level goal (duration of days - weekish), and a daily goal (should be as simple as possible).

My general goals for the year is get better at art to the point where i'm finally happy with it, get through all the craft supplies i've accumulated through the years, do big stupid projects, and get healthier i guess. This quarter I'm working on a big BD2 project, a couple of sweaters, a few art challenges, and cleaning my apartment. In the end, my breakdown for this looks like this:

Q1:

Quarter-wide

* BD2 Project

* Two sweaters

* 3 art challenges

* Deep Clean apartment

* Ramp up back to exercising regularly

* Get 6 pages into the pokemon cross stitch project

* Get 2 haircuts (usually i get 1.5 every 3 months...)

Every sprint

* Run 4 times

* Make 1 good painting

* Make 1 practice painting (Q1 emphasis on portraits)

* Make 1 jewelry set (necklace, or earrings, or whatever)

* Buy food

* Clean out previously cleaned parts of the apartment

Every day

* Draw a bird (practice painting)

For this sprint I'm about to start, Bidoof (I named my sprints after dinky pokemon), I have the following specific goals which may intersect with the list above:

Ooblets Painting

Carpenters Close To You Practice Painting

Ahmed Aldoori's 100 head challenge

Clear out my closets

Make a fish pendant and lil anchor earrings

Page 2 of the pokemon cross stitch

Make squares for the current sweater i'm making

"Wtf is LSDJ" and beg people to listen to what i come up with

Get the music plan into LSDJ

And for any tasks that I didn't finish, they either

get kicked to the next sprint, in this case Carbink

get obliterated to hell

so i have the flexibility sometimes to push things off if they're not working out. i have already kicked out a lot of the LSDJ stuff because last week i had to go back on my old meds so i had to transition to old antidepressants and then transition back again to the new antipressants and my brain didn't like that. but its fine, we're fine. help

I then have a todo list i make for the day in the morning and i try to grab whatever i can from the goals list.

and yeah. i hope this helps getting my stuff together for this year. i already feel more on top of things but that might just be the antidepressants so

#uhhhh #life things...??#organization stuff

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ljf613 · 10 months

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Could you please not put untagged madrigalcest discourse in the encanto tag. Ruined my day again. This is why people put dnis on their stuff. They dont want to interact and be reminded of the rampant underage incest shipping. But yay for pedo bruno hcs

Oooh, Anon hate! I'm not sure I can even remember the last time I got one of these-- I was starting to get a little worried there.

I want to start by saying that tagging etiquette is actually super-important to me, so I want to actually address what Anon is talking about here, point by point.

1) Could you please not put untagged madrigalcest discourse in the encanto tag

Personally, I don't use the #madigalcest tag because I feel that it's overly broad-- what is and isn't considered incest varies widely across countries and cultures, so it's not one size fits all.

I do, however, make sure to tag all of my ship-related posts with the appropriate ship tags, so as long as you have the ships you don't want to see content for filtered out, you shouldn't see it.

But I'm pretty sure this ask is in response to this post I made yesterday-- which literally doesn't mention any ships in it at all, "madrigalcest" or otherwise, so I don't really understand what your complaint here is.

2) Ruined my day again

If seeing random strangers online sharing opinions you don't like ruins your day, I would recommend never using the internet ever.

3) This is why people put dnis on their stuff

Again, I'm assuming this is in response to yesterday's post (linked above), where I said that I really don't like it when people put DNIs in their fanfics, and, in particular, in their fic tags.

My argument there was partially rooted in the fact that tags are there more for the benefit of the reader, not the writer. Tags are intended to give the reader an idea of what to expect, or to allow them to filter out content they don't want to see.

And you, Anon, agree with me on this point. I know you do. That's why you sent me an ask telling me that you wanted me to change my tags-- because those tags are, in part, there for you (and anyone else who reads my posts).

This is why I generally think DNIs are a waste of time-- if there's something that you don't want to see, you are responsible for curating your own online experience. Don't rely on random strangers on the internet to do it for you. (We are not your parents.)

In short, tags are there so readers can decide whether or not that's a fic and/or post they want to see. They are not there so writers can dictate who is and isn't allowed to see their content.

(Once you share something publicly, you have virtually no control over who does and doesn't get to look at it. Imagine if someone published a book at put a large note on the back cover that said, "people who like star wars ARE NOT ALLOWED to read this book." Who on earth would take them seriously?)

4) They dont want to interact

If there's someone you don't want to interact with, block them. I'm fairly certain AO3 now has a block feature.

And again, that's your job. A reader is under no obligation not to look at your content just because you told them not to.

Also, as I mentioned in the tags of yesterday's post: someone you disagree with is not going to contaminate you just by reading words that you wrote.

5) and be reminded of the rampant underage incest shipping

I cannot emphasize this enough: if there is something on the internet that you don't want to see, don't look at it.

6) But yay for pedo bruno hcs

I will repeat again that absolutely nothing in yesterday's post was about shipping, let alone any specific ships (with or without Bruno).

Also, I do feel the need to inform you that I don't actually have any, as you call them, "pedo bruno hcs." Not to mention that I'm fairly certain that you don't actually know what a pedophile is. I recommend doing a bit of research-- a five-second Google search may help. The Wikipedia page on pedophilia might also be a good place to start-- read that first paragraph a couple of times until you're sure that you understand what it says.

Have a nice weekend!

#encanto #thoughts #fandom critical #tagging etiquette #curate your experience #the amount of entitlement it takes to send an ask like this #and sending it anonymously is the coward's way out #it says that you're too ashamed of what you're saying to even admit that you're the one saying it and actually stand by your own words #i've never sent a hateful ask but if i did i would send it with my username attached #tw pedophila mention

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h2bakugou · 3 years

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hello! May I please have a Dabi x fem reader in the lov who likes to draw? I think she finds his scars and stuff to be a work of art in itself and is like (oh heck I gotta sketch this). He glances at what she’s drawing and she gets all flustered! Maybe he even takes his shirt off at one point which can lead to some other things~ (I like smut but if you think fluff fits the prompt better that’s alright with me!) Thank you and I love your writing!

a/n: hii! of course love! this is super sweet omg i love dabi, i feel like i dont capture his character very well but imma try like hell😩😩this is probably ooc for him but it’s sappy and i love it

summary: dabi’s hard to read, but that doesn’t stop you from sketching him. you find beauty in his flaws, entranced by his scars, so much so that dabi can’t help but be interested in you.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, sappy romance bc i love this man, some spicy themes, one mention of a slight(possible? idrk what counts) manga spoiler (e.g. dabi’s past/history) (manga spoilers in tags!!)

wordcount: 2k

;cut due to suggestive themes;

»»————-　★　————-««

»»————-　★　————-««

It’s never been a really big secret that you liked drawing. But when it comes to working for the league, specifically, the League of Villains, your line of work doesn’t allow for very much downtime unless you’re in the midst of planning some sort of attack or rebellion.

Whether or not the league keeps hopping from rendezvous spot to rendezvous spot isn’t up to you, but you never fail to get a little used to the eerily calming silence that falls upon the league during the first twenty-four hours of the new four walls that seem to keep you safe for the time being.

With a barely sharpened pencil in your hand, a small drawing pad in the other, you’re staring at Dabi as you sketch him.

It started as a bit of a joke, maybe just teasing him since he liked to tease you about being into him since you were the only one he was really super close, if you could call being the first one he spoke to every time he saw you or the one you sought out to be paired up with during missions, ‘super close.’

But now, it was something you enjoyed.

Dabi was one among the very interesting members of the league. Something about his scars just seemed to entrance you. Pulling you in further and further down a rabbit hole of questions that you had but never let leave past your lips.

It felt wrong to ask, not that it was a bad thing to be curious, but because Dabi was just so mysterious. No one knew anything about him, or about who he was, his past, even his real name was a mystery.

It felt wrong to disturb the unnerving peace that was Dabi. The resting expression on his features balancing on a thin cable between anger and poor personal resilience.

Dabi’s scars were the highlight of your sketches, always standing out. What the others may have thought to be ugly, or unattractive, you thought were beautiful, and emotional.

There was a story behind them, one you wanted to know, one you wanted to uncover and read, page by page, line by line, and word for word, discovering just how truly deep Dabi’s past was. But only Dabi could show you that, only Dabi could open that book for you. And you were willing to wait. You’d wait an eternity if you had too.

His rough raven hair is messy and strewn about as you scribble down his facial features, the groggy lighting making it just a tad difficult to see as you lead the pencil over the warm white paper littered with graphite covered fingerprints.

His arms are positioned on a counter, the art work resembling how he was sitting sloped against the kitchen table, elbows pressed against the dark mahogany wood, hands resting by his mouth as his cerulean eyes peer off at the cracked cement wall in front of him, occasionally glancing back at you.

The other members of the league were scattered about but it didn’t bother you. Toga asked you a couple of questions, wondering what you were doing, if you were excited about the new plans and such.

You replied quietly as to not disturb the peace.

But soon some of the members left, going off to go eat or find something to do. And soon you were among the few left behind, along with Dabi, Shigaraki and Mr. Compress.

Having almost finally finished your current sketch, you were stopped by a pair of hands picking up your drawing pad. Rough and calloused fingers drew your pad away and your attention away.

“Hey I’m not finished.” You glanced up at Dabi. Dabi just admired the talent poured into the sketch. Dabi couldn’t wrap his head around why you drew him so often, but he didn’t mind. It was kind of touching in a way.

“Is that really what I look like?” Dabi joked, handing you back your sketch pad.

“You have looked in a mirror once before, right?” You titled your head to the side, adding a bit more detail to his scars as you began to draw again.

“A few times. But I’d rather look at you, doll.” Dabi’s hands reached down again, this time pulling at your hands. Leading you out of the room where the other two members sat, finding a way to entertain themselves, Dabi lead you up some stairs in questionable condition.

Picking a random room, he sat down on the rickety bed and waited for you to sit down.

“Why’s that?” You tease, returning to drawing, looking up at him every few seconds to reference. And to admire him.

“You’re easy on the eyes, beautiful and-”

“Are you saying you’re not beautiful, Dabi?” You stopped him, not pausing to look at him.

“I’m not beautiful, I’m gorgeous.” Dabi chuckled, shaking his head jokingly as he laid back against the bed, his head dangling off the opposite end.

“You are.” You confirm. Finally finishing up your sketch. You get up and walk over to him, handing him the finished sketch.

“You add so much detail to my scars. They’re just scars.” The tips of Dabi’s ears flush as heat floods to his face. He’s flustered but he won’t admit it. He can’t understand why you think he’s so beautiful.

You don’t speak. For the first time, you’re speechless. You sit down beside Dabi, and now that he’s sitting up, he faces you.

You reach your hands out and gently lift one of his arms, holding one of his hands in your own. You run your fingers across the scarred flesh, gently caressing his skin.

His hands are cold compared to your warm fingers. He’s getting chills all down his spine as you touch him. It’s not meant to be anything out of the ordinary, but he’s still shocked that he’s letting you touch him.

“Your scars are beautiful. I’m sure there’s a story, something about them that might make you hate them, but I love them, and I think they make you that much more beautiful. You are a masterpiece, every scar a carefully calculated brushstroke on a beautiful canvas.” Your words finally come out, overflowing with love. You can’t sit quietly anymore.

“Dabi you are beautiful.” Your eyes lock with his, and you can tell he’s unsure of what to do.

Dabi no longer felt he had the ability to cry, but if he’d let himself, he would’ve done it in that moment. Being so open and vulnerable around you just happened. It came too easily, and he hated it, but he loved you.

Pulling his arm away form your warm touch, he tossed his jacket off and to the side before tearing his shirt away from his body, allowing you to see his chest, and more of his scar covered skin.

Sitting quietly with a faint blush on your cheeks, you couldn’t look away. trying to avoid staring directly at his toned chest and his nipples, you raised your hand and allowed your fingers to sink down across his sternum.

Soon your fingers were met with his abs, which the heat on your face noticed far too well.

“Say it again.” Dabi mumbled. You lifted your head to look into his eyes again, your hand still resting against his chest.

“You are beautiful-” The moment the words left your lips, Dabi’s own lips were pressed against yours. Kissing you roughly, more than he intended too, his hands mangled into yours, pushing your arms over your head.

His heart was pounding and it felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest onto yours. Pulling away for a few seconds, Dabi’s hair covered his eyes as he looked down, finding interest in the collar of your shirt.

“I want you.” Dabi’s words were simple, but they didn’t have to be complex. You knew what he meant, and you knew what he wanted. You wanted it too. A chance to see him in a different light, with deeper meaning.

A chance to connect with him, one on one.

“Then take me.” Your fingers intertwined with his, your arms still resting above your head. It didn’t take long for his lips to magnetize back to yours, sticking to them like glue.

When Dabi thought about sex, he didn’t come anywhere close to making love. There wasn’t that sort of option when it came to him. He didn’t think he was at all capable of love, let alone a relationship that was going to have any sort of emotional connection strong enough to make him feel stable.

But you, you were so vastly different from anyone he’d ever fucked. So different from an excuse to get his dick wet, to get his mind off of league business or heaven forbid, his past.

But you, you were what he needed, what he wanted. It was far from therapy, but it’d work. Having you around was like a drug, addicting, and he’d be going through withdrawals if he couldn’t have you.

Feeling you, touching you, fucking you, kissing you, it was fuel to his fire. He was damaged goods, broken and shattered, impossible to put together, but you were doing your best, working on the smallest parts, exercising precautions, and opening your heart to him.

Hearing his name in the form of your moans as he rutted into you, your legs wrapped tightly around his hips drove him wild, much like the way your hands tangled into his hair, forcing his head into your chest where he kissed and sucked on your skin, leaving marks.

Your moans and his own grunts of pleasure were spewing from the locked room. Dabi didn’t care if the others heard, he was enjoying the moment.

Every part of it. Every part of you, every part of your body, your words, your love. And before he knew, Dabi was at his highest, his face flush against your naked chest, breathing heavily as he inhaled your scent.

Still inside you, he didn’t move, allowing the two of you to catch your breath. It was in this moment, if Dabi allowed himself to cry, he would’ve cried a second time. He was so infatuated with you, so attached.

“I love you.” Your words scared him, causing his cerulean eyes to peak at you through locks of his noir hair.

“That’s stupid.” Dabi kissed your sternum, kissing up your chest, stopping at your neck to leave a little mark, only to meet at your lips in the end.

“How?” You ask softly, your hands massaging his scalp as his lips hover over yours.

“I can’t explain it, it just is.” Dabi frowned, trying to understand what your eyes were saying as they clouded with emotion.

“Love is complex, and I think that maybe you’ve never really had good experiences with it. If you’d let me, I could show you just how beautiful it can be.” You offer, a small smile on your lips.

“If you feel the need-”

“I do. I love you, and I want you to know love.” You kissed his forehead. Dabi eventually pulled out, not minding the mess, he’d clean up later.

“I want you to know why I love you.” You whispered, hugging him closer to you.

“Why I love your scars, your hands, your strength, the rasp in your voice, all of it. I love.” Dabi’s arms are strung over your waist as he lays, face nuzzled in your neck. It’s a bit of a stretch for him, and he feels out of place, but it’s oddly comfortable.

The next couple of times you draw Dabi, you ask to see him shirtless again. And with every new sketch, there’s something new to be learned, for Dabi. He’s learning about love, and loving you.

He finds that you still draw him incredibly cute, and though he won’t admit it, he loves when you draw him. He’ll pose for you if you ever ask, and you always tease him a little about how it was like he was born to be a model.

It’s a long road ahead of you, but it’s one you’re willing to take, to show Dabi just how important love is.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

#dabi #dabi x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #touya todoroki #touya todoroki x reader #touya #touya x reader

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quietlyimplode · 3 years

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I dont really have the words for this one, except to say this is a story that's really close to my heart. It's one that was written of experiences and fueled by the movie being released. I wasn't sure if i wanted to share it, but I think it's a story I would like to tell.

Please heed the tagged warnings, on posts - there is nothing particularly kind or gentle about this series. It will move between Clint and Natasha's point of views and doesn't pull any punches. To those who have supported me with this one, I owe you a one shot, collect at any time. Thanks so much for the encouragement.

As always, take care of yourself. <3

summon your courage

1/6 (2137 words)

The television is split into four screens, each with a different room in the sparse apartment. He stirs his yogurt and clicks the remote to zoom in on the room the Black Widow currently sits in. He’s been watching her for just under a week now, having put the cameras in, invading her privacy in order to gather information for his employers.

At times, he feels dirty; like a creep; which in all honesty he is; watching a woman when she thinks she’s in private, all the private and intimate moments. He didn’t expect her to stay here for so long but he’s been glad for it, it’s almost respite for him.

Watching.

Waiting.

There’s a lull in her work, obviously; and she seems almost human, doing regular human-like things. Not at all like the dossier that’s laid out like a map on his left. All the information he has on her is stuck in his head. Death and destruction follow in her wake and there’s been certain kills that even he’s had to fold the page on and forget.

This is different.

She’s reading a book in French, he can’t make out the authors name from his view point, but he can see the title; Arsène Lupin is written in block letters. Her knees are tucked to her chest and he can also make out how her foot taps, like she’s listening to music. He doesn’t think it’s a nervous tic and he can’t hear music; so, he assumes it’s in her head.

Sighing, Clint turns the sound up, and heads to the kitchen to make some coffee and dinner. Looking quickly at the clock, he marks the time as 9.15pm. She’s been reading since 7. If she follows her usual routine, she’ll be up in 15 minutes and get changed and go for a run, be back by ten and then get ready for bed. He’s assuming the run serves as a perimeter check, he often runs it backwards after she’s gone to bed, doubly making sure what she already must know.

The Russians are watching.

9 days in, she’s seemingly despondent. She hasn’t followed any of her usual routines, and has stayed in bed. He pulls his laptop closer and chews on fresh apple, watching as her eyes open and close and sleep. She has not moved once today. He wonders if what he’s been watching over the past eight days has been functional depression, she can do things, clearly. He has a bit of experience with that, according to his employer's psych team. She can take care of herself, but this, today, all together feels like giving up.

Maybe it’s a bad day, he rationalizes. She’s terrifying enough that the Russians have not made a move, suspects that they don't even know. He wonders if they’re hunting her, watching her or protecting her; it’s not something he’s made clear just yet; and to make matters worse on his run last night, he noted DRSD agents. Their walk as distinctive as their Russian counterparts. So, it seems that his presence here is not the only one. American, French, Russian, all vying for her attention and here she is, lying in bed. He focuses in, making sure she’s still breathing and marks the time. 1pm.

He loads the camera up on his phone and heads to the roof, craving the fresh air. He flips through the cameras he’s set up around his apartment to watch his own back, his own surveillance footage of his surrounding area. He’s satisfied enough that nothing is amiss and that his French is passable to not have alerted anyone, and then flicks back to watch her. She’s still not moved from the bed.

Day 12 hits and they’ve not had another day like Day 9. He doesn’t report that one to his seniors, reports it as a day in which nothing was amiss. French intelligence has moved on, but today, the Russians have made contact. It wasn’t anything big, a chalk mark on the pavement, a change in path on her run and dead drop of a post card from what he can make out when she came back. He writes it up, emails quickly and await orders on what happens next, wonders if he’ll be given clearance to wherever she goes next.

Some sick part of him hopes so, he wonders what that makes him.

He’s been pulled and sent to Barcelona with a fool of an agent that’s so far beneath his skill level, he sees it as agent training. Coulson must know. He makes it a point to be an asshole, he doesn’t want a partner and after this job, this man won’t want him to be partnered with him.

The whole time he thinks of her.

Wants to know what she’s doing, reading, if her routines changed or she’s completed her mission. He sighs hard on the plane home. He’s definitely a creep.

He can’t stop thinking about her.

Coulson is kind enough to put him back on surveillance. A reprimand of punishment for being a dick to the young agent. He’s gleeful as he heads to his apartment and bids Bonjour to the woman at the bottom of the stairs. He airs the room, and sets up the computers again, reactivates the cameras and waits for her return.

If she returns.

The apartment is lived in, still, her meager belongings scattered around the house.

He has hope.

He doesn’t have to wait long and within the day she’s back. He sucks in a breath at her appearance when he zooms in close. Black eye, split lip and he’s sure of unseen ailments by the hitch in her gait which she only allows inside her apartment. He watches her undress and walk around in her underwear; ribs are wrapped and he can see a stitched wound that goes from her neck to shoulder. At least she’s taken care of herself, enough to tend to her wounds.

He pays attention as she starts to punch her punching bag, her fighting style is clearly Russian, and there’s no clear compensation for her injuries. Her shoulder wound weeps blood down her arm, and still, she hits just as hard. It’s impressive if not masochistic. It’s almost 40 minutes before she stops, drops and then starts with her usual routine of push-ups, sits ups and squats. At least some things don’t change. He marks the time and settles in.

It’s nice to be back.

He runs the perimeter nightly now, focusing on his own routines, now he understands hers. Marks all the Russians easily. Babysitting he decides. They’re babysitting her. By the run she takes, she knows exactly where her handlers are, makes it a point to run near each of them as a check in. It’s smart, but feels contrived, like she wants them to know she knows. He believes she can run circles around them, and likes watching her do so.

It’s a bad day again. She’s not got out of bed. He wants to shake her, tell her to get up. Do something. Punch the bag, read a book, eat something. But she does none of it. He watches her closely and makes sure she’s breathing. Hopes that tomorrow is better.

The next day seems worse. He didn’t go to sleep, just in case.. He doesn’t think she’d do anything to herself, but didn’t want to take the chance. He wonders what he would have done if she'd taken the knife to her skin. He calculates the quickest way there and waits. She doesn’t get up. Her eyes are open and no one's home. He wonders if she’s wet the bed, because he hasn’t seen her move once in two days.

It’s panic inducing. One day was enough. He almost wants to break cover and knock on her door to see if she’d open up. Instead, he hacks her phone and calls it. She makes no move towards her phone; the only response is a slow blink and recognition of sound.

He keeps calling. She doesn’t move.

In desperation, he contacts Coulson and asks what he should do. Since the apparent end of the mission will end in her death or the makings of a double agent, Coulson is non-plussed.

Watch and wait is the official lines. The feeling of dread curls in his stomach and settles like a stone.

They must know something is amiss. Obviously, she's not run her checks and hasn't touched base in almost 2 days.

They come for her in the middle of the night. It’s not something Clint had anticipated.

They put a bag over her head and drag her out. She doesn’t fight, and allows the men to inject her with something. He loads the cameras quickly to his phone, and sprints to her apartment. He feels like he breaks all speed records getting there, but he’s not quick enough. They’re gone by the time he arrives.

Breathing heavily, Clint pushes his body to run to the locations of Russians, the ones he passes nightly. They’re gone, except, god, he’s a fucking idiot. He has all their number plates and can track them. He calls through to Shield and is patched to tech. He fucking loves those nerds. It’s nearly 4 hours later but he’s been given three locations where she might be, where 3 of the cars have stopped. He only hopes she’s in one of them. Coulson hasn’t said anything, and he’s not explicitly said no, so he takes it as a yes; go get her and bring her in.

The first address leads him to a dead end. Literally. The van is wiped down and abandoned. He holsters his gun and sits in the front seat. He feels ridiculous, his surveillance has led him to.. This. Chasing cars for a woman who when he catches up to her, if he catches up to her, he’ll have to recruit or kill. He 100% second guesses himself as he hot wires the van and heads for the next address. He just hopes she’s not dead when he finally gets to her.

And then wonders why he cares.

At the failure of the third address, he’s frustrated. He’s driven for over 10 hours and is tired. His back is hurting and he longs to lie down. Calling tech support again, he gets the location of the vans that were still on the move, they’ve all stopped now and he has another three leads to go on with. He’s got some choices to make. If he sleeps, he risks her being dead on his watch. If he stays awake, he risks becoming dead because of a stupid mistake.

He grunts and kicks the tires of the van, pulls open the back and unfolds the blanket from his backpack to create a makeshift bed. He sleeps on a 45 degree angle, gun in hand, legs out straight, relaxing his body and focusing on all parts of the blanket touching him. He goes through muscle relaxation and forces sleep to come. The three hours is definitely not long enough, but it makes him feel at least functional, as he lets caffeine and chewing gum do the rest. At least he gets to watch the sun rise.

The second to last address leads him to warehouse almost in Belgium and he rolls his eyes at the cliché of it. He’s strung on coffee and energy drinks, sugar keeping him going and he knows at some point he’s going to have to eat real food. He’s compartmentalising everything he does. It’s been 3 days and he hasn’t had a proper meal, barely any sleep. He just concentrated on the next thing. Fill up the car, drink coffee, next location, fill up the car.. it’s monotonous but serves a purpose, and got him here.

He knows this is where they’ve taken her. Knows it like the curves on his bow. It’s what he would do for wet work. Scouting the location, he tags five Russian’s pacing and one Black Widow tied to chair with a bag on her head. He can make out barbed wires not handcuffs holding her down, he closes his eyes to the barbaricness of it all but in the same moment the stones of despair in his stomach ease.

She’s not dead.

The little voice asks again, why is he so invested. It’s kill or recruit. Maybe he should shoot her from here and just divest them all of the responsibility of choice.

But he can’t.

He knows he can’t.

Knows that if she chooses death, it can’t be him.

He doesn’t want to wonder why.

Clint calls in, gives his location and an update, even if Coulson doesn’t want to know.

The reproach is significant, followed by a sigh and a be careful.

The rest of the series will be posted up on Ao3 with all my fic, maybe here, idk? As always any encouragement is lovely either here or Ao3. <3

#black widow #red room #black widow movie #natasha romanoff #clint barton #marvel fic #black widow fic #natasha romanoff fic #pre-shield #clintasha fic #eventually #my fic #series #tw depression #tw torture #whump fic #tw red room #ptsd

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years

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More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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wri0thesley · 3 years

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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

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huearmy · 4 years

Text

The Smell of Truth - II

Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.

Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.

Words: 3291

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: N/A. Jungkook continues to be just a cute pie here ok dont touch me.

Chapter I - Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII

You have always been enchanted by hybrids. You grew up surrounded by them, they were friends and family. Literally. For exemple, your favorite uncle adopted your cousin, a cat hybrid, when you were five and she was three, he and his wife wanted a second child but could't have one biologically anymore, and you got a friend as a gift. You never saw your cous being treated diferently from her older sister, indeed they were equaly loved by the whole family. You two would run and play for hours together.

You learned some diferences between you and hybrids when living with your cousin in childhood. The first one was that you, unfortunately, don't have fluffy beautiful ears and tail like they do, more than once your mother needed to comfort you before going to sleep cuz you were crying, wanting to be cute too. The second was that you were always at a disadvantage in games like hide and seek and tag you it, but you still had fun. The third is that hybrids can't go to school like normal kids. Until a certain age you were home schooled, taking classes with a tutor, when you turned eleven things changed a little bit, and you started studying at an elite college. Your world expanded, you started to study more hours a day and met new people, new teachers, classmates, you made new friends that gradually showed you a cruel world that you didn't know. Most of your friends were also daughters of politicians and entrepreneurs, just like you, and just like you, they grew up surrounded by hybrids. But while they were family to you, to your classmates they were butlers, maids, pets. Soon you started to understand the injustice of it all, of why you were bullied when you talked about your cousin, why you didn't like to go to some friends' house where you would see them treating their hybrids coldly.

The last straw came when you were fourteen, more specifically your birthday. Until then you kept your friends from meeting your cousin, for fear that the situation would be strang, but it was you birthday, you wanted all your friends in your sleepover, including her. At the beginning of the night you were apprehensive, but your friends did nothing but find your cousin cute and be kind to her, so you relaxed. Everything was going well until one of her best friends decided that she liked your cousin so much that she was going to "ask her father to buy her".Your cousing didn't understand at the time, it was the first time that she was treated as something and not as a person. You were so angry that the party ended right there, most girls left, even though it was two-thirty in the morning. Days later you were expelled from school for getting involved in a fight and assaulting one of the girls who used the wrong word to define your family. You went back to school at home, with the best private tutors, and the world outside was no longer so beautiful. That's how you, already in college, joined a radical activist group for the sake of hybrids.

The concept of owning someone was disgusting for you, that's why you never adopted any hybrid, just fought to free them, in and out of law.That's why you don't recognizes yourself in the decision of getting Jungkook home. But here are you, driving your SUV with him sitting next to you in the passenger's seat. You want the best for each hybrid you have ever rescued, but never before have you been so involved that you are directly responsible for one as you are now doing with him.

Jungkook have followed you to your car, where you gave him a oversized hoodie of yours to wear - the nigth got cold - and snacks that you had prepared for your trip back home. He was really entertained comparing flavors of three diferent chips, that he didn't even noticed when your black outlaw clothes are gone, replaced by a summer dress in a cardigan. Well, he couldn't remember the last time he had a chance to eat chips, it was probably when he was a kid, and there weren't that many flavors. Of couse, he was refraining from asking you too many questions, that were filling your head like: How is house? Will it be long before we arrive? Do you live with someone else? Do you have other hybrids? Do you do these jobs every night? ... But he kept silent, like a good boy.You said the drive to your city would take about two hours, that he could sleep, but he wanted to keep awake and looking out the window at the landscape, the trees he had never seen so many together and other cars, once in a while passing by with their lights on. It would be beautiful during the day too, he thought. The music playing softly on the radio is also cool.

"Ok." You brake the silence. "We have sometime before we get home, we can talk and get to know each other until then."

Jungkook took a sip of his soda before answering.

"To know each other?"

"Yeah. Like a game where we tell things about ourselves and ask each other something..."

"Got it. How do I win this game?" Jungkook got excited.

"It wasn't supposed to be a competition." You laughed, and then got thoughtful. "If you make a question you got one point. If you tell a fact about yourself without being asked you got two points..."

"Whoever has the most points wins. Ok." Jungkook softly clapped his hands with a happy soud coming from his mouth, the gesture doesn't go unnoticed by you. You showd him where to find paper and pen in the glove compartment for him to write down the points. In one side of the page he writed your initials and in the other, his - JK.

"I go first. Hummm... My full name is Y/N Y/L/N and I'm twenty-three. And you, what' is your age?"

"Woaaaa, Y/N! You already have five points, you are good at it." Jungkook excitedly wrote down your points, already thinking about what to say. "I'm twenty-two, but not for long, my birthday is in september. I'm a virgo. What's your sign?"

"Y/S." You responds. "You are into zodiac?"

"Not exactly. But it was a fact about me." Jungkook smile to you making you look away from the road for a moment longer than insurance so you can look at the dimples under his eyes. "Among these three chip flavors, which is your favorite?" "Both cheddar and bacon, I can't choose between them" You answered without hesitation. "Actually I love cheddar and bacon in any context. Did you decided wich one you like the most?"

Jungkook thoughtfully compared the chip packs.

"Nope. I like them all together. I like sweets more. Do you live with someone else?" Jungkook took the courage to ask something that was really on his mind.

"No, is just me in my apartament. But theres always a friend or relative visiting me, almost everyday. "

Jungkook he felt a confusion of feelings, he did not know if he should be happy or disappointed that you lived alone, and as a result, that he will live only with you. It would be nice if you live with siblings or your parents if they are good like you, but at same time if they are bad he prefers to be with just you.

"How is your family?" He asked before you could make your next question.

"They are great." You said, your tone of voice and eyes ligthing up with affection. "I'm single child, but my family is quite big. We are all focused on progressive thinking of liberating hybrids. That's why I'm part of activist groups ... Of course, only I do this more clandestine work, and my mother doesn't even know. She would be crazy worry. You will like them I think. I have like six cousins, two girls and four guys... Oh my God, they will tease me so much for bringing a boy to live with me..."

Clearly your family is a trigger for you to talk non-stop. Jungkook concluded that your family must be really cool, for you to like them so much, making him wanting to know them too. It got him a little nervous. What would them think about him? Your talking makes your family look amazing, while he’s no big deal. Worse than being uninteresting is not being liked, and there are really bad things about him ... More bad than good things actually. Your family not liking him is scary, and thinking that you might know about his bad past and not liking him any longer suddenly made him anxious.

You were bragging about your great-aunt's cooking skills when noticed Jungkook got too quiet.

"You are ok, Jungkook?"

He looked at you awkwardly, eyes round like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Yes."

"Sorry I talked too much." You let a weak laugh out, feeling embarrassed. "Is your turn now. Go ahead."

Jungkook looked through the window, avoiding looking to you.

"I don't know what else I have to say... You already won anyway." He showed you the score, your inicials with no space left to write down points.

"Oh I bet you have a lot of things to say."

"Not good things." Jungkook dared to say, already regretting it as soon as the words left his mouth.Your voice softned.

"You don't need to tell me anything you are not ready to tell. Even if you're never ready. But I know that you are a person, and people are made up of many things, not just bad things." A moment of silence followed, you thinking about the next thing to say. "If you don't want to talk about past things... Lets talk about the future. What do you want to have for lunch tomorrow?"

________________________________________________________________

At some point Jungkook finally fell asleep. You drove an entire hour alone, slowly sipping an energy drink, his soft snores beside you not letting you forget about his presence. Everything you want is to sleep too, your eyes heavy, your body numb. You were thinking of it an how you would be in your bed about time, in your fluffy pijamas and warm socks, when blue and red lights appeared in your rear view mirror.

You pulled over and waited to the cop to come closer to lower the window

."Good nigth, officer."

You greeted in a low voice.The man just nodded writing down your license plate.

"Do you know why I made you pull over?" He said, louder than you.

"No, sir." You calmly answered, shrugging. "I was not above the speed limit and my tail lights are ok."

He made an approving sound.

"Papers please."

You turned on the light and reached out to get your documents from the glove compartment, making Jungkook open his sleepy eyes with a groan.

"Y/N?" He called with a pout. The ultimate pout."Shhh. Keep sleeping, babe. We didn't arrived yet."

He obeyed immediately, leaning his head on the window, and you can tell he didn't really wake up in the first place. He was with his cap and hoodie on, so the cop couldn't see his ears and know he is a hybrid. And theis way is better, you thought.

"Your boyfriend?" The cop asked while analyzing your driver's license.Time to improvise with your acting skills.

"Kind of." You timidly put a lock of hair behind your ear.He scanned the trash in the car."Any alcohol?"

"No, sir. Just energy drink and soda." You smiled.

He did the breathalyzer test on you anyway.

Since it didn't point to guilty results, you were released to continue your journey.

You took a deep breath, glad he didn't asked to inspect the car, he would surely find something that would link you to the terrorist act against the shelter, as the newspapers would for sure report the next day.

The good part is that forging Jungkook's adoption document in your name with a date prior to the rescue will be super easy, as the shelter's records blew up in the explosion. That thought made you relax and start driving normally. ________________________________________________________________

"Jungkook. Jungkook wake up." You shook his shoulder, his sleep too heavy. His head fell forward, making him jump in his spot, blinking heavily, the ultimate pout making another appearance. "We arrived, Jungkook."

Jungkook slowly regained consciousness, seeing you standing outside the car, beside him, holding the door open for him to get out.

"We're at home?." His face got bright.

"Yeah. Come."

It was a courtyard at the back of a small old building, it was still early in the morning, the sky was still dark and no one in town was awake. You turned on the car alarm, and guided a still sleepy but very attentive to the details of the new place, Jungkook, to the back door of the building, taking the bunch of keys out of his pocket - of your hoodie that he was wearing. He liked the proximity, the soud of the keys and the smell of the place. Actually the smell was pretty amazing, specially when you opened the door and everything inside got your smell, and others good things.

You noticed his nose working in the air and laughed.

"Is a flower shop. Do you like it?" You asked.

Something made sense to Jungkook, it's not that the place smelled like you, you smelled like flowers because of the place.

"Yeah. Is pretty good." He said still sniffing the air.

"On the first floor we have the shop, on the second the shop office and a photo studio that I rent to a friend... And on the third and fourth is our home." You tell him as you go up the stairs, he following you closely. "Early on, both the store and the office are open, but this should not be a problem if you want to sleep till late."

"Ok."

You two whispered up to the third floor, a small corridor with two doors on one side and windows on the other. You stepped forward to the first door, the entrance to the living room and struggled to fide the rigth key in the dark.

Jungkook noticed a faint light coming from under the door and a murmur inside. There was someone in there. He got alert and slightly apprehensive.

You finally oppened the door and got inside, dropping your heavy bag on the floor, the keys in the corner table, kicking off your boots. Jungkook got inside with short steps, looking around cautiously, looking for the person who would ambush you both. The light was the TV... He smelled a cat.

"Y/n?" A sweet and sleepy voice reached your ears, a little form lifted on the couch. A sniffing soud and the sweet voice got hostile. "Who is this?"

"Yeri, you are here." You smiled, not really caring for the mood changing of her. Jungkook stepped behind you a little. "This is Jungkook. Jungkook, this is Yeri, my cousin."

"Hi." Jungkook tryied.

"What's he doing here? You never brought anyone home ..."

And by anyone she meant hybrids, and Jungkook knows it. He couldn't see her face in the dark, just her luminous cat eyes with vertical pupils, the dominant presence of those who had their territory invaded radiating from her.

"There is always a first time I guess." You say, still ignoring the awkward atmosphere, taking off your cardigan and hanging it on the rack behind the front door. "Are you in the guest room?"

Yeri got up and turned off the TV.

"No. I'm sleeping with you."Clearly she didn't trust Jungkook yet. If you bet, she was ready to sleep in the guest room, but now she decided to sleep with you to protect you from the stranger.

"Ok." You said.

"Ok." She said.

She turned on the light in the corridor, taking a few steps to the top floor, with bare feet and cute pijamas, and then stopped looking at Jungkook. Now he could see her face. The scariest cat he has ever seen. "Welcome to the family." And than she disappeared up the stairs.

Jungkook gulped, not sure what to think about it.

"She liked you." You told him, putting a hand in the small of his back.

"How do you know?" He asked you with round eyes.

"She didn't say she disliked you." You smiled. "Yeri is pretty honest about her feelings."

You took him to a room in the hall, with a messy cat-smelling bed in the middle, an empty desk and an armchair close to the window, and an empty closet. Beside the bed on the floor was an open handbag , with women's clothing showing up.

"She said she wasn't going to sleep here..." Jungkook pointed.

"Yeah, she lied about it. She wouldn't let me put you to sleep on the couch, though..." You went down the hall and came back with another blanket. "Aaaand, this will be your room. You'd better get used to it."

You fixed the sheets and changed the blanket and pillowcases, probably to help with the cat smell, odorless bedding help to make the bed more of him.

"That's what I can offer you for now, after all I wasan't expecting to adopt you. We can fix it later." You tiredly said, picking Yeri's bag from the floor.

"Ah... Don't worry.". Jungkook wanted to say he was already happy with what he got, that being adopted in firts place was more than he expected, that he was greatfull of your caring so far. But he couldn't find the words to put in on.

"Good, bucause I'm dead tired... I need to sleep, and you do too." You gave him a pat in his back, and went to the door. "If you need it, theres a bathroom in the end of the corridor. Good night." And than you closed the door behind you.

Jungkook waited for the sound your staps desapeard to start moving and breathing again. He was in his room! He ran to the window and opened the curtains a little to see outside, it seemed to be a main street in a small town, but Jungkook had never stepped in a small town before to have reference. He tryied the armchair and conclued it was confortable enouth to take a nap on it. The closet was big enough for him to fit in - he tested it - another possible place for good naps. With leaps of joy he imagined all the things he could kept there, the clothes and shoes he didn't have yet but dream of having. Fantasizing about when you were going to take him to shopping, he put the hat on one of the top shelves and closed the double doors carefully, to make any noise. And then threw himself on the bed, scenting the sheets, sighing contentedly. He took off his shoes and placed beside the bad, his wallet in the nigthstand - open like a picture frame, showing the photo of two hybrid little boys embracing and smiling - , and the suffed bunny lying next to him with it's own pillow.

All in this room felt so real to him, as much as your smell. If you said it will be his room so it's true, because se believe in you, and he is so happy.With the thought of a bright future with you Jungkook finally fell asleep again.

___________________________________________________________

Tag list: @stayunderthelights @deolly @panconte

___________________________________________________________

Thakyou!!! Let me know if you liked it... <3 <3 <3 This is a sub blog so I wont respond coments, but I read it all.

#bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts hybrid fic #bts blog #bts fluff #hybrid bts #hybrid jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook imagine #bts angst #dog jungkook #bangtanshadowfamily

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iwanttosetmybrainonfire · 3 years

Text

Would anyone be interested in something like this? I've never written anything before and i dont really know how English punctuation works.

Basically it would be a pretty long fic in which may left neil at 11, he ends up in foster care, somehow meets renee through the gang (still working out the timelines), and basically becomes her unofficial little brother.

****************************************************

"Maman?"

"Maman, ich bin müde", when that only earns him a dirty look, he sighs.

"Maman?"

"It's mom" her tone is not soft, never soft, but she doesn't reach to scuff his head or pinch his leg for having mixed up his languages. He takes it as a good sign.

"Mom, I'm tired" he tries again, "I don't want to sleep in the car again, can't we find a motel or something?"

She's distracted again, she's been doing that a lot, lately. She's also been a lot more lenient, too. Usually, this kind of request was met with a backhanded slap, and the reminder to be grateful he's still able to breath, let alone whine. But today is not that kind of day, and David is not the type of kid not to take advantage of that.

"Mom? Please?"

"What?"

"Can we sleep in a bed today?"

She hums, "If we find one, sure"

Even if she's been granting an awful lot of his wishes in the last month, he doesn't dare ask if she means it, in case she changes her mind.

They sit in silence for a while. It's boring. He almost misses having to learn German. At least he could listen to the radio, back then. Then he remembers the beating he got when he failed to properly translate his thoughts and proceeded to make a blabbering fool of himself in public. It's boring, silence is boring, but it's safe. David rests his head on the window. He sleeps.

When he wakes up, his mother is still, her hands tight around the wheel, her gaze fixed on the airport's entrance.

"Abram",his first Truth,"What's your name?", She snaps

The response is immediate, "David Waltz"

"How old are you?

"12"

"Where are you from? What's the story?"

"I'm from X. I'm flying to England with my mother because my father opened a business overseas. He's already there, we're catching up to him."

These are not his first Lies, nor will they be the last, but he's a Liar at heart, so he lets himself imagine that they are Truth. The most believable lies, after all, are those that one believes to be true.

"Good, be good and never forget that. Don't look back, don't slow down, and don't trust anyone"

It's a mantra. It's what kept them alive for the past year and a half. It's the only truth he was allowed in way longer than that.

"Be anyone but yourself, and never be anyone for too long", they finish together.

They gather their stuff.

Airports are all pretty much the same. He's seen enough of them that he probably wouldn't even need to read the signs to know where to go. Still, his mother always gets really stressed, worrying about their fake IDs. The best was to not get overwhelmed, he's learned, is to sleep through most of it. That's why he doesn't bother to put up much of a fight when she tells him to take a nap, even if he woke up about an hour ago. They're sitting in a waiting area, the gaits nowhere near getting open, but there's a wall at his back and his mother by his side. That's enough, for now. He brings his duffel bag close to his chest and nods off again.

It's the sound of clothes shifting that wakes him. Someone is sitting next to him. It's not his mother.

A glance at the windows tells him it's early in the morning. A glance at the clock on the opposite walls confirms it's 4.23 am. The flight took off at 9:45 pm.

He stands. Trying to look as casual as possible, he scans the room. His mother is not here. But airports are huge, it's possible she just went to check something out, although it would be unlike her not to wake him.

Just as he's about to walk off, the old lady sitting in his mother's spot looks at him.

"Is something wrong, dear? Aren't you a bit young to be here alone?"

She seems worried.

He keeps looking. His palms are starting to sweat. It takes him a moment to realize she's talking to him.

"Uhm, no nothings wrong, I'm fine", she doesn't look convinced so he adds "Just, have you seen a woman here? This tall, black hair, duffel bag?"

She hasn't, she tells him so.

His palms are definitely sweating.

He excuses himself and rushes to the bathrooms, locks himself in a stall. It takes a few minutes to get his breathing under control, when he does he's sound of mind enough to look for something, anything that might lead to her.

He starts by his duffel bag. Nothing is evident, except the tags on his clothes are folded wrong. He keeps looking. He finds nothing.

He picks up his binder. It feels lighter. He opens it.

It looks the same, exy cutouts of the ravens,all evidence of his unhealthy obsession with Kevin Day and Riko Moriyama still intact. He checks in between pages. All his contacts are gone, no way for him to remember, since they were all written in code. Most of the money is gone, too. He could live on the few hundreds left for a few months, vut there's no way an eleven year-old could rent a place without being suspicious.

He checks frantically again each page.

He finds it.

'Be good'

The writing wasn't rushed. It looked normal. It was possible the note hadn't even been written recently. It certainly didn't seem so, the edges of the paper thinner, as if held for long.

His father's men hadn't found them. It wasn't code for "Hide, I'll find you when it's safe",not this time, if it wasn't already clear feom the way she took everything. Still, the words were written as if heavy, as if they held a deeper meaning he couldn't understand just yet, as if they weren't the most shallow of goodbyes.

She left him.

She hadn't run.

She left him.

That was the Truth.

#aftg #aftg fanfic #neil josten #all for the game #the foxhole court #renee walker #idk what im doing #writing is hard #but fun

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mother-snake · 3 years

Text

dear sweet little letter,

(angst wih a heap of fluff? yeah... also dont forget if you would like to be tagged in future content, dont hestitate to ask!!!) tags: @idkanameatall @imma-potatoo @girl-with-many-fandoms words: 3896 warnings: sad snek times

Roman-

He had been having a fairly okay day. His work was complete but there was a nagging in the back of his mind that had been there since the big argument. he knew that what he said hit a dangerous nerve, but roman had hit one as well. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He could practically feel the bags under his eyes from sleepless nights riddled with guilt.

Well. If he wanted at least a nap then he could just go fix things up with roman. But he just wasn’t sure how. How do you repair damage that seemed far too damaged? roman was never one for confrontation, skirting around the issue. He would just deny that something was wrong until it weathered him down.

An idea crossed his mind. That could work… in fact. He at least knew it was a start. --

Roman had been in his room, curled up in a ball. Janus’s words had struck a deep buried pile of emotions he didn’t want to deal with. But alas. It was bound to happen. so when he heard the knock on his door, he was a little more than irritated. Patton had attempted at least once an hour during daylight to get roman to leave the room. But he had point blank refused.

But if he heard the moral side knock once more, he was going to flip. And the only way he knew to stop that was to open the door.

And that’s what he did. But no one was there. not a single soul. He rolled his eyes but stopped when they landed on something just in his eye view by his feet. a basket. Yellow and red. With colourful things on the inside. he hesitantly picked it up and looked down each corridor that were on either side of his room before closing the door.

His next destination was his desk. He placed the basket of things down and began to unpack. a knitted scarf with his symbol on either end. It was just the perfect mix of warmth and comfort. a small bag of wrapped up brownies. He tasted one. Yeah, these were good.

And then a red rose. Ruby coloured. His colour. it was tied to a letter. This had a yellow wax and a familiar double headed snake.

He looked at the things and was almost hesitant to open it. but he did it anyways.

Dear roman, as you can see, I’ve been busy this past week. I know we are not on the best of terms but I would like you to know that I do feel guilty for what I said. If you belie me or not, that’s up to you. but at least consider this a start? sorry for what I said. I apologise. Remember: you ARE Thomas’s hero. - yours sincerely, Janus.

Roman found himself placing the letter onto the desk. A wave of emotion hitting him all at once. Mainly guilt and a small drabble of hope. He looked at the peace offerings with a slight smile.

Maybe he could do something in return as a thank you. now… what to do?

Patton-

He had been wandering his room. Pacing back and forth. Thinking and thinking. Had he liked it? an idea crossed his mind. Maybe he could do that for Patton! the two may only now be on speaking terms, but if he could clear up some air. That would be enough.

He opened his bedroom door and made his way to the kitchen. Recipe after recipe coming to mind. --

Patton was lying in his room. Staring at the wall in anticipation. Waiting for the hour to pass to make sure roman was okay. He hadn’t seen the side all too much. and he knew what had happened was taking its toll.

He had re arranged the room twice. From age to size. He was now half way into doing category. but there was something just not right in the air. He couldn’t place what it was… but it was there.

He heard a small knock on his door. Now if there was one thing Patton was good at- it was telling who was at his door. And by not recognising the sound. It was pointed to only one side.

He walked over as quick as possible before opening the door. But it appeared that he was wrong, no one was there. he took a breath before walking back into his room. Only stopping when a small thud of something comes from down below. he picks up the paper bag and makes his way to his bed where he sits down. The yellow ribbon tying it together in a neat bow makes him smile joyfully. he reached his had in and pulled out a jar of… oh. It was jam? He looked in to find another jar and what looked like a ton of baked goods. Some cookies, brownies and muffins mostly.

The letter at the bottom caught his attention. A small daisy attached. He picked it up and examined the piece of paper before opening it up to read.

Dear Patton, I know you are most likely the only person here who doesn’t hate me with a seething passion right now. But none the less. I give you these peace offerings. I know you don’t like lying, but I need you to at least understand this. I can’t change who I am. And I am deceit… I know you don’t like it. that you think its wrong. But I need you to know even when I lie, I'm trying my best… - yours sincerely, Janus.

Patton felt his heart go heavy. What Janus was getting at in the letter clicking pretty quickly in his mind he- no. he was going to make this right. Janus was one of his kiddos. And if he thought that Patton hated him. well. He wasn’t going to stand for it. he was going to make sure that Janus knew he was loved. he would physically fight anyone who dare disagree.

Logan-

He had been in the kitchen this time. He was still in the cold emptiness of the dark side area. He still couldn’t sleep. And he was so close to just getting Remus to- but he couldn’t. the side was no longer here.

He took a deep breath and groaned. Yeah, he was so close to just collapsing in exhaustion. The coffee he drank barely did its job anymore. his mind began to wander again. Wandering over to Logan, Thomas’s logic and reasonable thinking compared to the others. he winced as he remembered placing that skip button down. He didn’t think that anyone would actually press it. he thought they would be smarter than that. guess even he could be wrong about them.

He felt his chest go heavy as he remembered the mark on logans neck he had caught the other day delivering roman his gift basket of peace offerings.

He rubbed his temple, his non gloved hands looked normal, but the black talons on the end were otherwise too sharp to not be. He had barely disguised it when he had revealed his name. no reason for them to get scared. he didn’t need that on his plate as well.

He summoned a small pad and pen. It took far more energy than he would have liked, but not being one of the creativity’s that was bound to happen. Lack of sleep didn’t help either.

He began to write things down. But quickly scribbled them out. no, they wouldn’t work for apologises. And he didn’t know if Logan would want to see him. perhaps he could do that instead? That might work! --

It had been a while; he did leave his room of course. But it was mainly to eat, drink and replace his melted ice with fresh. He had enough work to do and was sick of everyone just ignoring him. so, when he arrived at his room to see his door creaked open slightly. He was not happy in the slightest.

Cup of herbal tea in hand he entered the room to find no one there. but a small parcel wrapped up and on his bed. Brown paper with a bluebell tied to a letter. the insignia told him enough.

He opened the parcel as neatly as possible. Careful not to harm its contents. it was a black box with his logo in silver. A lock and key placed on top. He moved it to the side and opened it up. a blue book. he opened it to find empty pages. But stopped when he reached the final page.

A list off things the other sides had said. Each one a compliment. He hadn’t realised how much they actually cared. he moved to the letter. Opening it up.

Dear Logan, I will be straight as possible with you. neither of us like confrontation. But this is the least I can do for hurting you. I know you don’t like expressing emotion, so why not write down how you feel instead? I hope you can one day forgive me for what I did. And remember, the others do care. It’s just hard to realise that sometimes.

-yours sincerely, Janus

Logan didn’t know what he was apologising for. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was right to remove him from the picture in that moment. The others refused to listen, so he swapped himself out. and that all it had taken.

But as he looked to the box. And then back to the book. then the letter. Maybe it would be good to take Janus’s words… to heart. he placed the book back in the box along with the letter. Locking it up and placing the key in his pocket.

Maybe he should go and talk to Patton. He needed to clear somethings up.

Remus-

He had missed his friend. sure, he could now sleep, not so much guilt and pressure on his shoulders was eased slightly. But it still wasn’t gone. In fact, it felt worse than it had these past couple days. did the two sides accept his apology? Did they hate him even more- did they forgive him?

Thinking about all of what had happened lead him down that road once more. Thinking about all that was wrong, until they arrived at Remus. His best friend he ever had. Always there when he felt alone… and he had compared him to roman. despite knowing what had gone down, and even Janus knowing roman and Remus’s past… he knew it was only a matter of when for Remus leaving. And two days after the fiasco. two days of blatantly being ignored and glared at. And he was gone.

He would give anything to have that side talk his ears off for hours on end if it meant not being alone. he just wanted his friend back, he wanted someone who knew him. who knew that he couldn’t last without someone to talk to… but he understood Remus’s reasoning for ignoring him; no matter how often Janus tried to summon the side, it was ignored. who would want to talk to a liar like himself anyways?

But still he wanted to make it up to his old friend. Even if there was nothing, he could do to fix it… he could at least try.

Wiping his eyes, he quickly goes to work. Puling out his craft box and placing it on the table. --

Remus had been sat in his room. He had visited roman once the side had finally come out of his room. they had talked. An actual conversation… and none of it seemed too… well. Malicious as most other conversations in the past had been.

Now here he was, looking at pictures that had come with him in his room when he had left the dark side behind. His old friend… he didn’t even know if he could call him that. sure he missed their conversations. The way Janus would relax on him as he mumbled about another grotesque adventure, never once complaining.

But that was long gone. Janus had taken that chance away when he compared him to roman. He was nothing like that light side for certain. But he wasn’t the villain. Neither were. and that’s what pissed him off. Janus didn’t have the right to say that.

And the occasional tug turned into one every now and then. But they just stopped. And he was worried. It was never like Janus to give up so quickly. but he guessed that meant he didn’t care as much as he thought.

But the knocking on his door sent his thoughts out of mind.

He opened his door to find no one there. he looked down to find a black glass jar and walked back in. slamming his door behind. It sent a few things falling to the floor. But he didn’t mind. his attention was on the jar.

And it took a while to open it, but when he did, he wasn’t expecting to find what was inside. a plush. That was for sure. But he quickly recognised it as a heart. Not the valentines shaped one. But an actual human’s heart. The neat stitching, colour choice told him enough. He had known Janus longer than the others.

He looked in the jar to find a letter. It had a small clover attached to it, witch he quickly picked off and chewed. he unfolded the letter and began to read.

Dear Remus, hello old friend. And here we are. Opposite sides. I know you don’t forgive me for what I said… and I know you wont in the future. But at least accept this peace offering. I know you don’t wish to see me in the future… so. If you feel the need to share your thoughts, might I suggest Logan? I feel you two would get on splendidly.

And, I'm sorry for what I said. I truly mean that. -yours sincerely, Janus.

he looked at the letter and at the plush. Tears fell down his face as he realised just how much he missed Janus. who knew that the other side missed him too… heh. surely, he could think of something to show that he cared?

He got straight to planning.

Virgil-

He found himself unable to move from his place on the bed. Curled up under the covers and feeling nothing. He hated it so much. he wanted to be hugged, to be held to be- he didn’t want this. That was for certain.

He had been thinking far too much recently. He had thought about Patton, Logan, roman and Remus… and now. Virgil. And his heart couldn’t take it any longer. Whatever had been there was no longer wanting to stay.

How had he messed up so badly? How bad did it have to be to scare away his friend? His first friend before Remus… back when it was just those two, then three everything was perfect. and then they had revealed themselves.

Argument after argument drove Virgil further and further away until he left completely. There was very little he could do without feeling supreme guilt about it. the sadness tagged along, that sucked as well.

Now he was lying in bed. So many things reminding him of his friend. He wondered if he had ever been forgiven. and as the last side he had yet to try and mend a relationship for… maybe he could give it one. Final. Shot? --

He guessed not everything was as bad as before since Thomas met Nico. The handsome mad had warmed his way into all the sides hearts. At least he thinks so at least.

His normally black eyeshadow had been more and more purple recently… and only ever went back to that dark colour when he seemed to remembered his past. oh sure, he had actually enjoyed Remus and Janus growing up. their company a welcome distraction he needed. Taking away the bad parts of the dark side and replacing them with funnier things.

But something had changed along the way. Janus had changed. He became desperate. He wanted to show Virgil how the lights were… but Virgil guessed that Janus hadn’t been expecting him to befriend any of them.

He wondered how he was doing alone, much to his own surprise. the knock at his door was sudden. But not unwelcome. He had a feeling it was either Patton or Remus again.

But upon opening the door to find nothing he let out a small confused ‘huh’ as his feet connected with something squishy. there wrapped in parcel paper was something alright.

He picked it up and brought it inside. he could feel something coming of the parcel itself. Residue of sadness and anxiousness. Who brought it to his door?

He opened up the parcel and almost gaped. it was a pretty pastel purple. The pocket and hood were grey, stitches don like his patches had been. his insignia right where it had always been.

And now he was more than- oh… he picked up the letter. Wax sealed with the double snake. He opened it up carefully.

Dear Virgil- I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything… I'm sorry. -yours sincerely, Janus

Virgil looked at the hoodie and back at his old one… maybe… just maybe he could do with a little change.

Janus-

They were all gathered around the kitchen. Virgil had gotten compliments on his new hoodie, roman on his scarf. Logan was busy scribbling something down in a book. Remus seemed to be carrying around a plus more and more often. And Patton seemed to almost be stuck in his head. the room was otherwise silent until Logan spoke up. snapping his head up as if something clicked. “did Janus leave something at your door once this week?” he asked looking around at everyone.

Wide eyes looked around at everyone. “everyone?” Virgil muttered, pulling at the strings of the hoodie. “by the looks of it yes. that’s… I want to say a surprise but I have a feeling it’s not,” roman said. “anyone else feeling immeasurable amounts of guilt?” Remus muttered.

No one needed to respond to that. “well then, why don’t we do something?” Logan said, “we could do something for him together, from all of us,” he continued, getting rather exited.

Everyone smiled at logans sudden enthusiasm. Whatever Janus had given him must have begun breaking some of those walls by the looks of it. “I agree with specks over there. but it’s got to be grand!” roman cheered. “oh! I have an idea!” Patton said.

And soon everyone had their own mission. They each took a separate direction and began to grab everything that was needed. --

Janus hadn’t moved the entire day. He may have been cold. But what was the point? he didn’t know. He looked up to the wall opposites himself to see just how dishevelled he looked. Bags under his eyes, his hair a mess on top of his head. Tear tracks almost stained his face. red puffy eyes showed how he had been crying.

He had been confused to say the least when an exited knock banged on his door. He knew what that was! he found himself standing up and walking to the door. But stopped before opening it as something was pushed under. a small letter. Huh?

He heard as Remus bounded down the hall and away from his door. he picked the paper up and began to read.

Dear Janus, this letter is from everyone. we wish you to meet us in the lights commons at 9pm sharp. We have something for you that should be ready by then. we hope you can make it

-yours sincerely

He looked to see everyone had signed the bottom of the sheet. He was both confused, scared and worried. were they planning something to hurt him? would they just make fun of what he had created. But what if this was it? where they forgave him? would it be worth the risk.

A voice deep down told him that, yes. Yes, it was worth it. and for the first time he listened to it. --

He was standing in his pyjamas. He had been for a shower not too long ago and his hair had returned to its natural poufy state like before. his hands were gloveless. He couldn’t be bothered putting them back on. Remus would only ask him why they were there and the cover would have been blown.

Well. Now he was ready, and he had only five minuets to get there. it wouldn’t take that long to get there as of now. and thus he began walking. Cautiously and with purpose. then he was faced with the white door. And with a gentil sigh he opened the door with a click.

The lights were not on. black filled the entire lights commons. until it didn’t. the sound of a switching flip and he was met with fairy lights and a blanket fort.

He had to blink to make sure he wasn’t sleeping. taking a few cautious steps forward he peaked his head inside. No one was there. one thing however was certain it was so warm. the blankets and heated mat, he could tell there was one in there at least somewhere, and pillows he took a quick glance behind himself and crawled in. there was space enough for him to starfish across the ground with extra room.

The warmth around him filled him with bliss. If you were to listen ever so carefully, the sound of a purr could be heard emanating from his vocal cords. he heard the sound of shuffling and a small knock. he peaked his head out the crack in the side of the fort to see Patton sitting on the ground nearby with a tray in his hands.

“hi kiddo,” Janus tilted his head slightly. “hello Patton,” he responded. “enjoying your surprise,” “no,” he blushed, getting a giggle from Patton. “well… anyways. I’ve got you some cookies and hot chocolate if you’d like some,” he smiled.

Janus didn’t know what to do with this…, “where are the other?” he asked. “sleeping. We spent all day making sure this was stable and perfect,” he gestured to behind Janus where he realised where it was. a window seat. Not just any one…

He felt tears prickle his eyes. Back when they were children. That had been his sun-bathing spot. His own personal bubble. “tell them no thanks,” he muttered, grabbing a cookie from the plate. “you got it kiddo. Now don’t stay up too late. And don’t worry if you hear noise, the others might wake up to see how youre doing,” Patton said, patting Janus’s hair. “goodnight kiddo,” and he was gone.

Janus smiled for the first time in a long time. They had done this for him? just for him… he didn’t know what the feeling in his chest was, but he liked it. no, he loved it.

And little did he know. He would never have to not feel it again… after all he was a part of their famILY weather, he liked it or not. And he would be fine with that.

#sander sides #janus sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus angst #angst #fluff #hurt comfort #enjoy this thing i did #hope is gucci #janus centeric #haha

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princessofmerc · 3 years

Note

I think people are maybe jealous of how strong and united Alex fans are. I just saw the comment section on the DTM instagram page and yes I see a lot of Alex fans and it might be annoying (???) but I love how supportive we are of him. And I know the dudebro’s on toxic ass twitter are confused of how popular Alex actually is. They really thought he had no fans lol. Our boy is a celeb with a million followers on Instagram and also brought a lot of followes to DTM (their insta page grew with 2k new followes in TWO DAYSSSS) ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Oh and I’m not not going to stop tagging or supporting Alex. Nope nope nope. No one says this about other drivers lol why always Alex. Ain’t no wayyyyyyyyy. I just feel like 2021 is a good year for Alex. He is so much more happy and has a lot of great deals. The RB demotion could be a set up for something better, who knows.

Sorry for my rant btw. I was just a bit annoyed about people nagging about Alex. He’s finally happy again (at least to me he looks happy) so why not celebrate that.

Honestly I understand being annoyed of being flooded with content by a driver you dont necessarily like or dont care about. I have those moments too and I've said it before: this is part of why the blacklist exists. We're on tumblr where you can actually filter what you want to see/dont want to see. Use that feature no ones gonna bash you for blacklisting Alex (and no one will know if u dont tell anyone anyways).

And ofcourse the dudebros are confused. They dont understand the concept of a man who seems to try to be kind to others. They're not used to it. They just see what happened at red bull and how he has been bashed in commentaries and in the press and they just dont.... ask themselves if people like paul di resta, martin brindle or ralf schumacher could actually just be toxic assholes...

I mean we still have a huge amount of nico rosberg, jenson button and other drivers who aren't in the sport anymore. At least not actively. We tag pietro, hulk and other reserve/drivera with f1 why should we stop? I did the maths if alex doesnt drive in the dtm races when f1 races are on the same day hell only miss like four races. that's more than Pietro and jack drove for last year and we still tagged them f1 so I dont see an issue with tagging alex. He currently is a dtm driver. If we cant tag him with dtm and f1 where are we supposed to put the posts?

Also no worries my inbox is always open for rants and I will(as you can see) answer with a rant. And yes I am also very happy that alex seems happy.

#alex albon #dtm #f1 #thanks for the message anon

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iconsumeheadcanons · 4 years

Text

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :((( so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff. joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

#my writing #p3 #p4 #p5 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #ren #futaba #souji #hamuko #minato #vibes straight thru the sun #i sincerely hope the read more works #im so srry for grammar problems #i literally cant read rn

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nyanpoe · 4 years

Text

(Rough) summary of the last NatsuYuu arc

Featuring chapters 106 and 107, “Visiting a late friend”.

Note that my japanese isn’t the best, so i might have misunderstood some things.

Also: my own personal notes are in cursive.

In chapter 106 Natsume takes the wrong bus home after going to some far town (if i remember correctly Touko had asked him to run an errand or smth). Yorishima gets on that same bus and after seeing each other (they were like the only ones in the bus) they start chatting. If i remember correctly, Yorishima had offered to show him the correct bus/way home, but he was on his way to return a book to an old friend (named Kusakabe) he used to exchange letters with who had already passed away, so Natsume offers to accompany him.

We get some more insight into Yorishima’s character, how he’s pretty grumpy, asocial and a shut in. If i remember correctly, in the book he was going to deliver, which was one that Natori retrieved from his mansion in the Miharu arc, he found a letter where Kusakabe told him to go visit him someday.

When they get to the house of Yorishima’s old friend, they are greeted by his 3 beautiful daughters AND feel a weird presence in the house.

The chapter ends with Yorishima telling Natsume that Kusakabe only had 2 daughters, not 3.

Here 2 cute screenshots i took of the chapter

Chapter 107 (later part) starts with one of the letters Kusakabe wrote to Yorishima, where he talks about how he can hear his daughters (note: 娘, musume) played despite having told them to being quiet as he was writing. He also notes how he likes it when it’s lively, and contrasts it with Yorishima’s hypothetical reaction.

The daughters (who are all a bit weird and very pushy) talk a bit about Yorishima and how much their father used to talk about him. Once they leave the room, Yorishima and Natsume discuss how one of them might be an ayakashi, as he is sure Kusakabe had always wrote in his letters about only 2 daughters.

Yorishima starts cursing about how nothing good happens whenever he leaves his house and apologizes to Natsume for dragging him into such a mess. Natsume then realizes he feels like his old self, and reassures him that going all this way for his friend is a very important thing and he'll tag along, for Kusakabe's sake, and mentally adds for Yorishima’s sake too. Natsume then kicks Nyanko-sensei outta the room and tells him to go investigate which daughter might be the imposter (since he was just eating cake and being an ass lol).

Natsume asks if there’s lead to tell apart the fake one, but Yorishima says that none of them resemble Kusakabe physically, although their mannerisms sometimes do.

AND WE GET A FLASHBACK OF THEIR COLLEGE TIME.

In it, Kusakabe tells Yorishima (after failing to feed him an onigiri) about how he should have also gone watch the meteor shower, how pretty it was etc and how the stars seemed to go and fall from all directions, to which Yorishima was like bruh how could that be and if it wasn’t perhaps a tanuki or ghost playing a prank on him. Kusakabe says that maybe that was the reason why the rest didn’t seem to react to it, but that was all the more reason why it would have been merrier if Yorishima had been with him.

Yorishima immediately tells Kusakabe that he should confess to Kyouko-san already and that he actually would have wanted to see the meteor shower with her instead, leaving the other quite dumbfounded as meddling into other’s affairs (or even caring) was pretty out of character of him. Yorishima just answers that if his roommate is being a pain he won’t get peace either so he should be done with his business. He also tells him that he’s a good man, so there’s no way he’ll get rejected.

~end of flashback~

After that we get a 4 pages Nyanko-sensei pov of spying on the girls, who start acting all creepy, making him freaks out and run away.

The last page has a letter from Yorishima to Kusakabe, in which he thanks him for the last letter and congratulates him, saying he was surprised when he learned about his 2 daughters.

Back to Yorishima and Natsume, Yorishima seems to hold his arm, making Natsume worry and ask if it doesn’t hurt (thinking to himself that it’s the rumored ayakashi arm, and wonders if it’s really true) but the other says he was just deep in thought. They discuss about the daughters again, saying that if they look like kusakabe, what similarities they have etc. Since they dont look alike natsume asks if they dont look like the wife then, but Yorishima says he actually doesn’t know about the wife, neither name nor face. He never got to meet her, as he never met Kusakabe after college again. He says that Kusakabe wrote whatever came to mind in his letters and never got to tell him about getting married not his daughters being born, but mentions that he used to date a girl called Kyouko when they were in college. He says that they looked very happy and (not sure of the jp wording here) just looking at each other/at them? made them blush.

Natsume assumes that that must have been his wife then, but Yorishima says that she had died in an accident. He talks about how Kusakabe used to be pretty depressed after it, but since he didn't want to make Kyouko sad he came back to his usual self eventually. Still, he didn’t date anyone after that, that’s why he was very surprised when reading the letter talking about his daughters. Knowing that he was able to form a family, after everything that happened, made him so happy he started trembling.

Nyanko-sensei interrupts them and cries a bit about how the girls were Too Much. After that, the lights go off and Yorishima runs to check that the girls are ok. He starts mildly gay panicking bc he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to his friend’s house. He says to himself that it would have been better if Kusakabe had at least told him how his daughters were called, and remembers the note in the book asking him to come pay a visit someday.

He runs into the youkai and asks who is she, to which she replies that she is kusakabes daughter. Yorishima says that he only had 2 so that's not possible but she says that Kusakabe just never got to tell him about the 3rd (among us voice kinda sus). She tells him that if he catches her she'll tell him the full story. While chasing for her, he starts shouting that it’s Kusakabe’s house, even if he passed away, saying in his mind “isn’t anywhere anymore”, it’s the house of his dear friend, and he won’t forgive her if she tries to do something to his beloved daughters.

He catches the youkai and: turns out all the daughters were DOLLS.

Apparently, Kusakabe bought 2 dolls at an antique shop and when writing the letter, he used the word musume, which can mean either daughter or simply young girl. The daughters say he had realized that Yorishima misunderstood and thought he meant biological daughters, but decided to play along and keep using musume when talking about them. And so, when Yorishima visited him, he would learn the truth. He looked forward to when he would come and find out. That’s why the dolls decided to carry on with that wish, and tell him about how fun and merry Kusakabe’s time there had been.

(Here comes the part where I’m not really sure about some things, and I’m not sure either what they are referring to Exactly so I might have misinterpreted it.)

The dolls say they were actually upset at him for never once visiting Kusakabe, but that seeing his arm they understand he couldnt come. Then, Natsume thinks to himself "to his dear friend... (deepl translation:) in the midst of all the bewitchment...". Yorishima here regrets not being more sincere in his replies to the many letters Kusakabe sent because he thinks that’s probably why he stopped sending them (i think?),and the daughters ask him if he knows why he died. When Yorishima says he heard he died of illness, they say: "yes, the reason is similar to yours (that i understand maybe i read it wrong). he simply stopped sending letters when he lost the strength in his handwriting". (when he didnt have enough strenght to write properly basically, bc that’s shittily worded). Here they show that Kusakabe told his daughters that Yorishima is very intelligent and his own handwriting was very strong and beautiful, so he would notice and get weird worries.

The daughters then say that there are a lot of letters he never got to send.

In one of those letters, he writes Yorishima that he had ordered a new doll for his daughters, so it seemed like his house would become even more lively (and also something about a job but idk if it refers to the doll or smth else). A sepparate bubble shows: “one day, when you come...”.

With the book being returned, the daughters have then acomplished their mission. When they leave Natsume wonders what will they do from now on. Here Natsume wonders about Yorishima’s regrets, the reason why he couldnt pay a visit to his friend, and his own duty with the book of friends.

Yorishima thanks Natsume for his helps and Natsume says its a good thing he came to see him (aka Kusakabe). He is holding the book open, and as the wind makes the pages flip one last note, with a pretty shaky handwriting ,appears between them. Natsume asks what does it say.

Yorishima says that it just says as usual, just some foolish things.

#spoilers #better link and share privately instead of reblogging #because i added some manga screenshots

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sunbellylou · 3 years

Text

ask for writers !!

thank you @tomlinvelvetfics for tagging me! and thank you @soldouthaz for making this tag!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted: i’ve been writing for years now, i started with het (ew!) 1d fics in portuguese back in 2011, it was actually those little imagines we used to write, don’t know if anyone remembers hehe. i posted them on a facebook page i was part of and i remember the first thingy i wrote was something with niall, but i really don’t remember any details (but was probably bad as heck since i was 11).

my first larry fic i probably wrote around 2012 when i found out the gay fanfics world haha, i don’t remember what it was or anything tbh, in my head i always wrote and posted gay fanfic.

my first fanfic in english was a little one shot (like 400 words honestly), it was a translation of a previous work i wrote portuguese. i posted it a year and a half ago and it’s called playground love (please don’t look).

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?: i usually write from harry’s pov because i love love l o v e describing louis and how angelic he is, so usually i tend to see louis as this ethereal ish character, cause it’s usually about harry falling in love with him. so whether i like it or no, i tend to be closer to harry’s characters in my fics, i always like to put a bit of myself on him and make the character real, you know?

3. where do you often find inspiration?: honestly? anything! i’ve written fics inspired by tumblr posts, tweets, pictures, songs, movies, things that happened in my real life, books. i literally wrote a pwp because i couldn’t stop thinking about leather pants (go read my robin hood au).

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?: in the beginning it was really helping me, i’d stay up till 4am everyday just writing like crazy, but then i got into the worst writer’s block and didn’t write shit for months. (and of course right when i started getting new ideas, i started working so i have no free time).

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence? always listen to music, all the time. i can’t do anything without music. mostly because my brain is a mess and music helps me concentrate. i usually go for some chill songs, some indie pop and stuff.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?: oh my god, when i’m writing and two or more paragraphs start with the same word, one after the other. it drives me crazy!!!! and sometimes i spend hours looking for ways to word differently the sentences, just so i don’t have two paragraphs starting with “the”.

also when my paragraphs are two (or one) lines long, i can’t! it has to have three or more lines.

7. describe your ideal writing setup: at the dining table, in the middle of the night, with some soft music playing in the background and some popcorn with me!

8. favorite time of day to write?: well, just said it hehe i like writing at night.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?: woah, that’s tough because i literally write any genres! i really love writing fantasy and horror stuff, but i feel like it’s not really well accepted in the fandom? (spec horror). and when people like it, they only read from bigger authors so i usually keep myself from writing those. aaand tbh i probably already wrote most of fic genres out there, so there isn’t much left to try.

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it? i’m writer’s block bitch and i do not know how to overcome her

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult? outlining tbh, i usually don’t (and it comes back to kick me in the ass). i always have too many ideas at the same time and can’t stick to one, so outlining and finding the right plot is really hard.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable): lately i haven’t really had the chance to come up with ocs, but when i wrote original books (not fanfics and stuff), i usually started with the gender and one outstanding personality trait and went from there.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word? i love the words ethereal and breeze, omg you’ll find them A LOT on my fics. and my least favorite word is growl.

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?: i think i describe the vibez in the scene really well, it’s my favorite thing to do. and i need to work more on building my sentences, because theyre always supermessy.

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?: definitely the fic i’m working on right now! i’m putting so much work on the world building since it’s a fantasy fic, so i’m planning every little detail about it. i hope other people like it too when they read it !!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?: comic sans, 12pt, single spaced. don’t come at me.

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?: because english isn’t my first language, i always change like ‘th’ for ‘d’ (because it has a similar sound in portuguese), so catch me typing ‘de’ instead of ‘the’ or ‘dey’ instead of ‘they’.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?: i didn’t understand the question so i’m pretending i never read it hehe

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?: my favorite to write is probably,,, love/adoration, like harry looking at louis like he’s the whole world and thinking about how amazing he is? i love it.

and the most difficult is probably anger, i find it really hard to write like fights and stuff like that because usually i make the characters sound more sad than angry.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?: i never thought about that but,,, i hope they start finding joy in small things that happen in their day. that’s something i use a lot in my fics and i think it’s very important to bring it to real life. like enjoy that late night tea, showering in the morning, spending a summer day in the house, cleaning, etc.

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?: i think the best advice is one i got from someone i no longer talk to, they told me this when i first started writing in english and it is to stop trying to write fancy or like native english speakers, because it’s much better to write simple sentences that i’m confident about than write sentences with words i barely know how to use.

and the worst advice is TO OUTLINE! i know i should maybe i dont know but leave me alone, i hate outlining bye

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?: ok so,,, it’s a book i wrote like three years ago with original characters. it’s called great evil and i wrote it in portuguese. it’s full of violence and acid humor, about a very evil and sarcastic demon and an angry hunter. (one day i’ll translate that book and turn it into a larry fic)

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?: chronologically. always

24. how do you handle criticism?: really bad. please be careful with what words you use. i’m already really hard on myself when it comes to my writing, so sometimes someone says something and (it might be dramatic but) i feel my world crumbling and i want to stop writing right away.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?: just,,, do it. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. there’s no such thing as too much or too little, bad or good plots. every idea is a good idea. write it for yourself, write something you like. go ahead and just do it. there’s always someone out there who will enjoy your work, no matter what.

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?: any comments make my day tbh, if you comment on my fic i’ll be forever grateful and will be smiling like a fool the whole day. honestly, even a “omg i loved it” comment can make my day.

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?: the one i’m writing 100%, please i want to live in a fantasy world. i wanna live in the water kingdom and have faerie louis as my king please.

and i’d like to befriend louis from my fic kiss me in your chevrolet, he’s a sweetheart and i must protecc.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?: anything! i rarely get asks so anything is good hehe

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?: it’s such a big part of my life, i spent all my teenage years writing and it really is what built my personality. it helped me being more creative with all aspects of my life and take life lightly, enjoy little things and moments.

30. why do you write?: i just love having ideas and putting out there, playing with words and finding new ways to describe daily things.

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote:

The path through the dense forest, covered in slippery rocks and burning trees is already difficult enough, but it becomes ten times worse when you’re being pestered by small, demonic creatures.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about:

i’m honestly only working on one fic right now and i’m super duper excited about it

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of:

"I mean, I still don't plan on watching Star Wars, so…"

The boy groans playfully, throwing his head back and Louis' eyes are suddenly really interested in the column of the guy's throat.

"Americans really have no culture." He shoulders Louis slightly, warmth spreading through Louis' dainty shoulder and making him trip to the side lightly. With a faux outraged scoff, Louis waves a dismissing hand.

“What do British people know about culture? All you do is drink tea and talk about the weather all day,” Louis teases with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Also, Star Wars is American, just so you know.” He rolled his eyes playfully, feeling surprisingly comfortable in his presence.

Skater Boy sighs comically, shaking his head, his wavy locks falling gracefully on the sides of his face and Louis can’t stop thinking about how soft his hair must be.

“You got me there.”

not posted but i kinda like it (i’m not really good with dialogues, so it was really hard to find one lmao)

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s): I will do only those that are already published:

best first lines are from a halloween fic i never finished:

Louis’ blue eyes snap open. His heart pounds fast inside his rib cage, making something as easy as breathing almost impossible. Sweat drenches his body and he feels like drowning. He feels too awake and wary as his breathing calms down, as well as his grips on the sheets under him loosen.

best last lines are from my 2019 BLFF there’s more than one place to call home:

Their life was utter chaos, and they were definitely complete opposites, and sometimes Harry wished Louis would just shut the hell up, but at the same time, Harry wouldn’t change a single thing about his life, because he had Louis, and that was all that mattered to him.

5a. link the last fic you read: it was the devil's in the details by @raspberryoatss

6a. link the last work you published: you could take a lick (but it’s too cold to bite me)

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable): cinnamons

8a. someone that inspires you: louis hehe

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year: tbh i don’t read a lot of fics, but there’s this work a friend of mine wrote. it was in portuguese and she ended up deleting it but it’s amazing.

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag! @bottomlwt @raspberryoatss

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thequeenb · 4 years

Text

Lost Love (part 4)

Pairings: KamilahxMC

Kamilah entered Adrian's office and right away it was obvious how tired she was. Vampires shouldn't feel exhausted but she was, and everyone could tell.

Adrian knew right away that Kamilah wasn't her usual self. She was always careful of her appearance, her posture. Now her eyes were tired, her body language begged for mercy and her suit was wrinkled.

"Hello Kamilah you look--"

"Save it Raines, i have a headache already" she said massaging her temples

The minute she opened her mouth the smell of Whiskey filled the room, Adrian's eyes filled with pity

"Nicole was able to find an address of a small apartment near Central park"

As soon as she heard these words her eyes shined bright, like a lightning of hope hit her. She squared up her shoulders fixing her suit

"What are we waiting for?"

___

They soon arrived at a small apartment complex. Kamilah stared at the building closing her eyes

"Kami? What are you doing out here its cold" Amy said wrapping her hands around herself

Kamilah looked at her eyes ignoring the rest of the world, the rain falling making her clothes soaking wet

"I- i couldn't sleep because i was thinking and i just couldn't--"

"Kami please come in its freezing cold" Amy plead with her eyes, something Kamilah couldn't resist

She lead her up to her apartment. It was small and cozy, a huge difference between her penthouse. But she didn't care, it was warm and welcoming with a nice atmosphere

"So will you tell me what happened? I am going to bring you some towels and--"

She hesitated at first but she grabbed Amy's arm pulling her against her. She was soon pinned against the wall gasping

"I..i think i have feelings for you" Kamilah breathed out

Amy smiled trying to control her heartbeat but it was impossible given the fact that she waited for this moment since they first met

"Are you alright?" Adrian asked placing a hand on the back

She nodded unable to speak, afraid that the emotions will get the best of her and she will be vulnerable once again.

They both stood outside of the door looking uneasy. Kamilah was about to ring the bell but she stopped her hand mid air

"If you aren't ready we can--" Adrian started talking but before he could finish she rang the doorbell fast, no longer able to regret.

Her panic grew inside of her realising that she didn't thought of their next step. Amy will open the door and then what? Maybe she was crazy and she was just imagining things but all the worries disappeared as the door cracked open.

A purple hair woman answered it eyeing them confused

"Heyy..how can i help you?" she said watching the two strangers Infront of her.

Kamilah cleared her throat trying to find the right words. Were they in the wrong apartment? Was this even a good idea?

"We..we want to ask you a few questions if thats ok"

The woman suddenly felt uneasy. Amy had been gone for some time now and she was scared that this was about her. Stepping aside she gestured at them to come in

They sat uncomfortably on the couch across from her, the silence in the room felt heavy until Adrian started the conversation.

"Lets start with the introductions, i am Adrian Raines and this is my friend Kamilah Sayeed"

"I am..Lily" she said, her eyes growing wide "if this is for that one time i tried to hack the-"

"Thats not why we are here" Kamilah said massaging her temples

"Wait, you guys arent from the FBI?" Lily gasped exaggeratedly

"No thats..we aren't even-" Adrian started but Kamilah lost her patience

"Listen my time is valuable so dont waste it"

"Wow calm down grandma.."

"Boom i won.. again!!" Lily yelled excited doing a victory dance

"This is unfair you know you are a vamprire i am not" Amy said crossing her arms

"You know for two people in the middle of a chaos you are loud enough" Kamilah said leaning against a ruined wall

"Come join us! Some of the video games are crushed but we managed to get some working" Amy's eyes softened at the sight of the woman that made her heart skip a beat, and tonight.. tonight it may be their last night.

"Oh come on grandma i can teach you" Lily said instantly regretting "i mean- yes join us um please?"

Amy's sweet laughter echoed through the destroyed mall, but even if this ugly reality exists Kamilah felt hopeful knowing that Amy will be there with her.

Gasping she covered her mouth with her hand. Kamilah was now inches away from her face, her eyes red with anger. Adrian was holding her back repeating her name

"I..i know you.." she breathed out confused "how do i know you?"

Kamilah sat back as the realisation hit her "You are.. Amy's best friend". Adrian seemed to be on the same page looking at Lily who ran to the kitchen

"I..i am but she is not here" she now looked uncomfortable and hurt remembering how cruelly she left her behind

"I don't know where she had been ever since but..she left this if it helps"

She handed the note to Kamilah who started reading it, her eyes growing wet

"The people that i love dont remember me" she repeated hating herself for not remembering her, but it wasnt her fault and still something seemed off.

"Where she could be?" Adrian was lost in thought as all of them

"Her parents live in America?"

"Yes, which makes it harder if she left the US" Lily sighed heavily, the situation finally sinking in

"Its weird right? That i dont know you but i kind of do?" It was so confusing for all of them and they were determinated to find the only person who knows the truth.

"We called her but she hang up almost immediately" Kamilah said looking embarrassed about her naive behaviour, she was always so strategic that being implosive was way out of her league.

"Maybe i can? I haven't called her because i couldn't..i couldn't bear if she wouldn't answer"

Adrian stood up looking apologetic "i have to go back to work but, dont hesitate to call me"

He said his goodbyes and disappear, leaving the two of them alone. An uncomfortable silence kept them distant but then Lily sat next to her clearly looking lost

"You know..i dont remember everything but, Amy talked a lot about you"

Her train of thoughts stopped as she dared to look at the woman next to her. Hearing Amy's name always made her forget everything

"You two loved eachother didn't you? And somehow we became friends"

Kamilah shrugged "There is something irritating about you"

A sly smile drew on her lips "oh please i am awesome" they shared a short laugh, one that didn't last to long before the conversation turned to Amy again.

"Do you.." Kamilah started but she paused thinking carefully about her next words "Do you mind telling me how she behaved before she was gone?"

Lily walked back to the kitchen bringing two glasses and a cheap wine "We will need this" she said pouring it into her glass.

___

Amy raised her hand and a taxi stopped Infront of her. She got in telling the driver where to take her. Tired she leaned her head against the window watching the sky, tonight the stars weren't shinning everything was pinch black

She couldn't sleep well and everytime her eyes managed to close the painful memories came back at once crushing her heart into pieces again.

She sighed, maybe this wasn't a wise choice but now it was to late to regret it. Finally the taxi came to a stop and she felt uneasy here goes nothing she encouraged herself and when she exited the car the weight of her decision made her heart beat faster, her mind going with 1000 per second.

___

"She was troubled, and none of us knew anything" Kamilah said as a single tear escaped her eye. She was quick to wipe it off, she always hate when she show vulnerability but Lily wasn't judgemental at all. The bottle of wine was now almost empty like Kamilah's heart.

"It was my fault, i could sense something was off but i just thought she was having a bad day" Lily groaned as her face collapsed to her hands.

Kamilah hesitated but she patted her back sympathetically understanding the pressure and the stress she must be feeling. But both of them jumped at the sound of the door bell ringing.

They looked eachother not knowing who it might be. It was very late at night so this was an alarm for Kamilah. They both stood up whispering

"I go get the door if thats ok" Lily nodded watching Kamilah opening carefully the door.

Everything stopped. The time, her breath, her heart. Her mouth opened without her realising and her eyes were wide in shock

Amy blinked a couple of times saying to herself that this is one of her mind tricks, she isn't real she had forgotten her. But the more she blinked the more real it felt.

"Amy.." she whispered, her voice charged with emotion

"Kamilah.." was all she managed to say before feeling her legs weak. She fell but Kamilah was quick to catch her in her arms.

Tag list: @trouble-with-the-curve @mrskamilxh @gavryllo @onyxgaytrash @la-guera-69 @thepotatobleh @sayeedbound @wildsayeed @ilovetaylorswiftforever7 @amorettemcsky @nydeiri @scarlet-letter-a0114 @blackphenix9527 @littlemissgreen97

#kamilah x mc #kamilah sayeed #bloodbound #choices fanfiction #bb fanfic #choices bb #bb kamilah #choices kamilah #kamilah is my queen #bb #lily spencer #adrian raines #play choices

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pinkykitten · 4 years

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I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive?

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head.

2. Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby. 4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts?

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different.

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again.

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it.

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer.

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot.

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible.

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys.

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much.

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho.

3. What is the last song that inspired you?

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making.

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical.

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH

#ask #@writing-with-melon #rambles #writing #tips on writing #unus annus #david dobrik #netflix #buzzfeed unsolved #peaky blinders oc #kobe bryant #mac miller #tony stark #peter parker #the greatest showman #tom thumb #troy bolton #zac efron

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