#if i had a physical tail to touch and hold all off my mental issues would be over | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

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HASO, “It Can’t Hurt to Try.”

My brain wanted to write this today, and so this is what I have written. I hope you all enjoy :)

I realize I have sort of Neglected Adam’s past, though I am not sure how I did that, so today I wanted to write some more.

More than three years ago.

“Mom, you don’t have to really…. I’m ok.” Martha turned to look at Adam and the expression on her face shut him up instantly. He slid back in his seat slouching against the car interior. Off to his left side, his new service dog, who he had named waffles, was lying politely across the seat, her head resting on his thigh, her service vest bright red in the noonday sun streaming in through the window.

The car rumbled under them looking out of place in a city of sleek hover cars. Their tires rolled to a stop at an intersection, as a crash nexus wove itself into existence before the waiting line of cars. Running red lights was a near impossibility in the city and had reduced vehicular accidents by 25%.

Marha turned to look at him over the back of the seat, “Adam let your father and I worry about finances, you just relax.”

He sat up in his seat again pushing his crutches to rest against the window, “But mom do you know how much those cost, I looked it up and….” “Shhhh.” Martha held up a finger, “Just sshhh, your father and I own the house and the car. We could make ends meet if your father was working at the Burger Barn, and I was sitting at home twiddling my thumbs.”

Adam’s usually Laconic father grunted his agreement, “Besides, this is why your mother and I have a separate account for medical emergencies.”

“But what if YOU have a medical emergency.” he protested thinking about the farm and how easy it would be for his father to get caught in an accident with the massive farming equipment they used.”

“Im old.” his father said, though he wasn’t very old at all.

“What does that have to do with-”

“Boy, just shut up, you’re mother and I have made a decision because we love our kids, and if that means selling the damn house and living in a tent we are going to do it.”

Adam lapsed into silence again. His father’s tone broached no argument. A whimper came from somewhere below him, and he looked down to see that Waffles had scooted so her paws and head were resting on his leg, her tail beat against the car seat, and she looked at him with big golden eyes.

Her paws were a might bit large for her, but that was because she wasn’t even a year old yet, but even so she was still the best girl. She whimpered again, reminding him to relax and he took a few breaths.

Adam wasn’t so good at dealing with stress these days, though Waffles turning up in his life had been a marked improvement. The doctors said he had finally turned a corner with his mental health, though they suggested he look into getting a real prosthetic if he wanted to recover any further.

They said it would be good for his morale.

He glanced down at his current prosthetic, no more than a black rod of metal with a spring loaded joint and a fake foot at the end. It was army issue, so complete garbage, and he still had to use crutches when wearing it with the amount he tended to trip. He imagined being able to run again…. To really do anything again, and looked down at his body, which had grown thin and skeletal over the past few months of PTSD recovery.

He hadn’t been eating all that much, and his desire to workout had faded with it, instead he had spent most of his time in a hypervigilant state of alertness that left little time for things like eating or working out. When waffles came along, that had morphed into him lying in bed for days on end sleeping on and off while listening to music or listening to his collection of old Star Trek movies on Repeat.

It had been a hard transition to being functional again, which just meant that he was eating now, and went on walks in the morning with waffles.

He was determined to make it all the way, though he couldn’t say he approved all that much of his parents throwing away so much money on a fancy prosthetic. An older model would have done, but they insisted that they wanted the best.

The car ground to a stop in the parking garage outside of the Elmridge University robotics lab, and his mother walked around one side to open the door for him as he adjusted his crutches and stepped out into the musty underground air. Waffles leaped out behind him, sticking tight to his left side.

“You good?” His mother asked, and he nodded limping his way after them as they made it towards the doors.

Students at this university had been working on prosthetic technology for the pat fifty years, and their minds had spawned some of the greatest breakthroughs in medical technology the world over. Now, they were asking for people like him to come and test their machines. However things didn’t always come cheap and you had to rely on being rich, or getting some kind of funding from a wealthy benefactor.

Adam Vir, who was not rich and had no wealth benefactors was instead relying on his parents and their medical savings, which they had been squirreling away for the past twenty years or more. He estimated that the account would be completely drained by the time they were done here, and the thought made him sick to his stomach.

Waffles touched his hand with her wet nose, reminding him to breathe again.

They made it all the way to the doors and into the university hallway. Adam looked around with some interest. He had what might be considered the equivalent of a masters degree or higher in aviation, but he had never stepped foot inside a university.

He thought he would have liked it, and had to brush away the regret that he had never gone for real.

The flight academy had been enough though.

Though it was likely he would never fly again. Waffles whimpered and jumped up on her back paws seeing his distress and working to keep his mind off of it. He took another deep breath. She was right, he just needed to relax.

Together with his family they walked down the hall and into the waiting room of room 125 where they made him rest in one of the hard plastic chairs as they went up to the desk. He rubbed Waffle’s ears, and she rumbled at him lightly.

“And you all must be with Adam Vir.”

They nodded in agreement.

Adam looked up as the girl came out from behind the desk. She had long black hair tied up in a messy ponytail and wore a band T-shirt over a striped long sleeve shirt. She wore glasses, was his age, and was very cute.

He had to look down at the floor.

She knelt next to him, “Can I?” She asked

Still looking away he untied the rubber band holding the pant leg closed and pulled it back so she could see the stump of his leg.

She pulled something from her back pocket and pressed it up against the old wound. It was cold and soft and he grimaced as he looked down. When she pulled back he realized she had been taking a mold of his leg. She smiled at him, “Just twenty more minutes and we can have you come back.”

He nodded and they let her go. His parents sat on either side of them, his mom took him by the shoulder and shook, “Isn’t this exciting.”

Adam gave a weak smile.

His father picked up a robotics magazine and began to read, showing Adam things of interest as he read them. Adam’s stomach churned with nerves.

After less than fifteen minutes, the girl skipped back into the room, “We’re ready for you.” She announced, and slowly, he moved to his feet limping ack behind the desk and following her down a short hallway and into a large open room.

Here there was a small indoor track, some obstacles, and even a physical therapy table.

A cluster of students sat around the table waiting for them, headed by an older heavyset professor with a short grey beard and a lanyard hanging around his neck.

He reached out to shake their hands as they approached.

Adam glanced at a sleek silver case sitting on the PT table next to the man.

The old professor grinned at him, “Are you ready?”

The students clustered inward eagerly. This was likely the first time one of their creations was going to be used.

Adam nodded nervously, and the man reached forward, snapping the case open and in to reveal….

Adam muttered in slight surprise. The leg looked, good, something straight out of I-robot. It was sleek and elegant with silvered matt titanium and plexiglass casing to fill out the shape of a leg. He could see the fibrous strands of rubberized metal that acted as muscle underneath the plexiglass.

“Wow.”

“Do you like it? My students worked very hard on this project, and the best part is the neron interfacing net that cradles the leg in place and suctions it onto the skin. All across the plexiglass fronting there are microsensors built to detect heat, cold, pressure and vibration. The entire foot is designed to work like a human foot and all the tooes can flex individually. He picked up the leg, reached down and grabbed the foot, behding it around the ankle with a movement as smooth as ice, “The ankle joint can rotate in all the proper directions, and the most revolutionary part, the interface, should collect signals being sent through your neurons to your missing leg, pick those up and interpret them to move the leg just as your own brain would, and better yet send feedback signals in the reverse direction.”

He clapped Adam on the shoulder, “In other words, it will FEEL like a real leg, how does that sound.”

Adam’s mouth opened and then closed and then opened again, “Um…. amazing but…. Impossible if I am being honest.”.

“Well, moment of truth isn’t it.”

He nodded sitting down on the PT bench and rolling up his pant leg again. He tried to ignore all the people watching him, and listened to the professor as he instructed him on how to put it on. It socketed right over his old injury and as it did he felt an immediate and sudden vibration run through his body as if the leg were whirring to life.

And when it did he froze.

He stared down at the leg, and slowly, with all the memory his brain still had, he flexed the toes.

The sensation was instantaneous and glorious. He put his hand over his mouth fighting back tears that began welling into his eyes.

His parents gasped in delight and an overabundance of emotion as the others at back in silence. His mother hugged him tight as did his father, all three of them staring at the machine, which moved on his command.

Before he knew it he was grinning, turning to look around at everyone even as he had to wipe tears from his cheeks.

He could feel again!

The relief was so complete and so overwhelming that he couldn’t pick between laughing or crying

“Take it slow.” The professor said, but he hardly heard him, and with a wobbly step he slowly climbed to his feet. He began to laugh and his parents laughed with him hugging him and shaking him with excited exceleration as he took his first step. He closed his eyes in near ecstasy as the foot bent under his weight, the ankle flexed,and the toes splayed out over the ground.

He dropped his crutches to the floor ignoring the urging of the professor who was only half heartedly telling him to slow down.

He took another step, and then another and then another, slow and wobbly at first but then muscle memory took over after that.

His brain remembered, it remembered and despite months with a missing leg, it woke up the part of his brain charged to deal with that movement, and despite what must have been atrophy after months of misuse, it began to fire again.

He broke into a jog, as his father ran next to him, and then the jog turned into a run, his father fell behind as he broke into a full out sprint around the small indoor track. Laughing the whole way as the leg matched him. The students here cheering and clapping and hugging each other as they watched him interact with their creation excitedly shaking each other and screaming.

Adam, forgetting momentarily how to stop running, ended up tripping on his good foot, flailing around for a moment and falling to the floor.

He didn’t stop laughing though, and crawled back to his feet, with all the ease he might have had when he had both legs.

Waffles barked and wagged her tail furiously as she ran to join him, hopping and bounding over the floor as he played a game of chase with her immediately forcing the leg to its full potential as they made quick turns, stopped and started and leaped into the air. He ran up and down stairs and jumped over their obstacles feeling the shock through his feet and ankles.

Unfortunately for him, months of sitting on his ass hadn’t exactly made him all that athletic and he came to a stop eventually panting like waffles only to grab every one of the students in turn and hug them in an embrace so tight it might have fractured ribs.

He was so excited, so grateful, and so unbelievably relieved.

It was an incredible moment, for him, for the students, for his parents, and for his professor.

He limped into that building but skipped out on his new leg.

Getting in the car its as if he had taken a one eighty in personality. His quiet sullen demeanor from before was replaced with something his parents hadn’t seen in ages.

The ability to not shut up.

He talked a mile a minute in his excitement yammering fit to talk their ears right off, and they let him. It was good to hear him back to his old self for once. His father was smiling more than he had in a long while, and on his left side, facing away from his son and his wife, a tear rolled down his cheek.

***

He wasn’t overly sure what he was doing.

He didn’t have high hopes that they would even take him back. After all, He was set to be honorably discharged later that week, seeing as the UNSC had finally gotten around to dealing with the men and women injured during operation Steel Eye, but he had decided not to do that. He wanted to go back, and he had the paperwork to prove he was mentally stable enough to do so.

Now it was just down to whether they would let him work with a missing leg.

He nervously made his way onto the fort Harmony base where he had been stationed so long ago. Off in the distance he could hear the dull roaring of jet engines as they readied for takeoff, and watched as columns of other soldiers marched in the early morning sun. Light was spilling across, warm and yellow over the dw colored grass as he made his way towards the central building.

He stepped inside and passed a couple other officers in the hallway as he walked up to the offices.

He looked down at the paper he held in his hand.

He had only meant the captain once, and that was very briefly, but he hoped that the man would be willing to hear him out. He paused outside the man’s open door, and then peered inside. The captain was sitting at his desk frowning at the papers stacked before him, tapping his fingernail against the counter. Light glittered off his completely shaved head and dark skin.

He knocked quietly and stepped inside.

“Sir?”

The man looked up frowning at Adam without much recognition.

“Yes?”

“Um, Lieutenant Adam Vir, sir…. I was hoping to speak with you.”

The man sat back in his seat and frowned again, “Adam V-”

He paused, “Wait.”

He rummaged in his desk and pulled out a set of papers, glancing at the name at the top before setting them down, “Ah yes, Adam, I was just getting to your discharge for-” he glanced down at the paper again, and then back up at Adam, and then back down again. Adam stood politely behind the single wooden chair and waited.

When the man didn’t speak Adam awkwardly cleared his throat, “About those papers sir….I…. well I was meaning to talk to you about those.”

“Yes I was going to si-”

Adam shook his head cutting the man off, “No sir, I…. I don’t want you to sign them.”

There was a pause, “You don’t?”

“Yes sir.”

He set the papers down on the desk.

“You have the opportunity to be honorably discharged for services rendered and you…. Want to stay?”

He saw the incredulity on the man’s face as he spoke.

The guy must have thought he was stupid.

The man looked over the desk at him <”Says you lost a leg during the Drev war kid.”

Adam shifted uncomfortably, “Well yes sir.’

“Then by all rights we HAVE to discharge you.”

“No, I got a new one.”

“A new one what?”

“I have a new leg, sir, just as good as the old one. I can pass all the tests, physical, mental whatever you want me to do sir, please, just give me a chance.”

The man stared at him, Adam stared back, “You’re missing a leg kid.”

“Not anymore I’m not. UNSC regulations say that people who have had stem cell organs from their own body transplanted don’t need to be discharged, well this is similar to that. I didn’t have a leg, and now I do, and one that works just as well as the old one therefore it shouldn’t matter.”

He didn’t mean to argue with the Captain, but well that’s what it kind of turned into.

The argument must have been loud enough to attract the attention of some of the other officers and a voice from the door behind them had both of them pull up short, “Is everything alright here.”

Adam turned and his eyes went wide, “Captain Kelly!”

She stepped into full view and his eyes grew wider. He saluted sharply, “Oh, sorry, Major.”

SHe looked at him with her head tilted, “I'll be damned, lieutenant, what are you doing back here.: She looked him up and down, “And in one piece or so it seems.”

“Advanced robotics ma’am…. Maybe you can help us?”

She frowned, “Go on.”

The Captain cut in, “The boy doesn’t want to be discharged. If anything that proves he must be smoking crack.”

Adam frowned, “No Ijust….” he trailed off, “I loved my job…. Before the, losing my leg, bit.” he turned to Major Kelly, “Please Ma’am i’ll prove it. Better than I was before, honest”

She frowned, “It is…. Unprecedented, but…. There aren’t really any rules regarding advanced robotics that I can think of. We will have to talk it over.”

Turns out talking it over meant months of arguing semantics with bureaucrats and even more months of testing and proving that he was, in fact capable of operating like normal. They tested everything, including his prosthetic’s ability to handle G forces…. And he finally got to fly again. It was only by a small margin that he managed to convince them to let him back in, and even then he was relegated to guard detail on what the human medical core was calling an oxyclinic, where a couple of enterprising humans learned that spooning aliens actually helped to treat some mental disturbances in other species like the alien version of depression.

Turned out it was pretty good for him considering he had developed a small fear of aliens since his last encounter. When he wasn’t guarding the clinic, he volunteered to work for them in order to overcome his fear.

He was slowly getting back to normal.

***

Major Kelly sat at her desk looking at the schematics for the new ship under construction. The UNSC Enterprise had been completely decommissioned after engineers determined her to have too many fatal flaws to allow her to fly again. Kelly had only been captain for a little over a year before she had been pulled, and this was her chance to get back on the horse. She looked down at the papers, the schematics and then the second letter from the UN which offered her a second alternative.

A promotion to Admiral, and control over what would soon be a rising fleet of UNSC ships.

It was a hard decision to make. Every fiber in her body wanted to fly again, to see the stars again, and she was halfway to writing her agreement on the captain’s contract when she stopped. She had to think about it, if she took the promotion and gave up the ship, she would never fly again…. But she would have control over the rising UNSC fleet. Under her control she was sure she could help those rising captains avoid the bureaucratic bullshit that was sure to come after them.

In essence, they had one chance to do this right,

And more chances to get in good with the GA. If she took the position, she could fill it with someone she trusted to back the men and get the job done.

herself .

She stared at the two papers torn between her own desire and the path she knew that was right.

It was a matter of milliseconds that allowed her to agree to the promotion, and leave flying behind. It hurt every fiber of her being and even as she sat warm tears dripped onto the schematics of the ship that would have been hers if she had asked for it.

However, her decision made, she was promoted in short order as Admiral of the UNSC rising fleet, and thus had the power to make suggestions for who should take the ship in her stead. She made a decision pretty early on, and reached out a hand to the GA in helping to come to their decision. It was all about making a good impression on their newfound friends, and lending them the UNSC’s first operational ship under new fleet command would, not only give the captain of that ship the opportunity to school themselves in the ways of alien races, but it would leave the GA with a greater inclination of friendship.

She was right in her assumptions, and the GA was more than pleased to have some say in choosing the human captain who would be lent out to them on a probationary bases, as a PR move and as a tactical manuver for the UNSC to learn more about these alien races.

Now she had to compile her list of possible candidates.

There were ten names on that list.

All of them had to be capable of flying the ship, at least and all of them had to have some experience with interacting with alien lifeforms.

Looking at her list, however, she realized that not many people on that list had those capabilities. Sure they could fly but most of them only ever met an alien in passing.

It was sitting in her office late one night agonizing over the names that one popped into her head. She sat up in her chair and stared past her desk lamp and out the window into the darkness.

It was a strange idea.

Crazy almost.

Probably ill advised, but, out of all the people she knew, he was certainly CAPABLE of flying a ship…. And he WAS the most experienced person hse knew with aliens. Perhaps THE most experienced person in the galaxy.

But no…

He was so young, far too young.

But…. why?

It’s not like he hadn’t proven himself, he was loyal, unstoppable and personable, which goodness knows they needed when it came to alien interactions. Looking down at her paper there were more than half of those men and women she wouldn’t trust at a birthday party let alone at a GA diplomatic event.

She added his name to the list. It couldn’t hurt, could it?

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daydream-hobii · 4 years

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Flowers & Weeds | Prequel to Roses & Thorns | Chapter 7

Genre: Prequel to Roses & Thorns; Poly!AU; Hybrid!AU; Fluff & Angst

Pairing: BTS x Female!Reader; Alpaca!Seokjin, Panther!Yoongi, Fox!Hoseok, Wolf!Namjoon, Bear!Jimin, Tiger!Taehyung, Bunny!Jungkook

Summary: Before Y/n rehabilitated hybrids, she was just an average rich daughter of a well-known hybrid breeder. She was also someone who didn’t want hybrids in her life, she didn’t like how they had to have an owner when really, they were more human than animals. When the government starts threatening her, she decides to get one to make them start. That’s what changes everything.

Warning: Mentions of Mental & Physical Abuse, Depression, Anxiety, and Suicidal Thoughts; High Suggestions of Smut; Future Mentions of Attempted Suicides; Read with Caution~ <3 This Chapter in Particular Mentions Medical Issues, as well as Cleaning Wounds. Read with Caution. <3

Word Count: 1,500

Connected Series: Roses & Thorns

// Previous // Next //

Author’s Note: Welcome to Chapter 7! I’ll add links later. I hope you like it!! ^_^

Seokjin sat on my couch, legs crossed and eyes flicking around the room. It was closing in on two in the morning, and I figured my two boys were asleep in my bed. I walked to the bathroom, returning with some medical supplies. He whined slightly at them, frowning and more tears falling.

“Hey, I just need to clean the wounds,” I said, gently. “I don’t want to get them infected…. It’s going to sting, okay?” Seokjin watched me, nodding his head. I took a deep breath, pouring the hydrogen peroxide on his chest. He let out a loud scream, making me flinch as I placed a large towel over him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” I looked up at him with sad eyes, watching his tears fall as he bit his lip. “Alright, alright, it’s okay….”

He nodded, pulling his lips between his teeth as he breathed air in through his nose, eyes slamming shut. I pulled the towel away, the blood that was on his chest coming off so I could see the full extent of his injuries… they were bad.

“Honey, I have to do your back,” I said, making him whimper. “Let me get you a rag to bite on, okay?” Again, he only nodded. I ran to the bathroom, jumping when I saw Namjoon and Taehyung sitting on the stairs, looking concerned.

“Everything okay?” Namjoon asked, eyeing the blood that ran across my shirt.

“No,” I whispered. “He’s hurt bad, and he won’t talk…. I want you two to go back to my room, he needs to get some sleep and I don’t know how he’ll react to you two.”

“Okay…” Taehyung answered, frowning. “Be careful, okay?”

“Promise,” I whispered back, going into the bathroom and grabbing a washcloth, running back over to Seokjin. I wrapped it up, holding it straight and watching him bite on it and turn around. It was just as bad as his front…. “Alright, 3, 2, 1.” I poured it, listening to his muffled screaming in the cloth. I placed a new towel on it, frowning as I listened to his screams slow down. “Okay, alright, we’re done.”

I took away the towel, showing him the bandage. I began wrapping it around his entire torso, covering every inch of wound he had. By the end of it, I could only see his shoulders and arms. I let out a shaky breath, nodding my head.

“Are you tired?” I whispered. His eyes fluttered up to me, nodding his head. “Follow me, I’ll show you your room.” I stood, watching him stand as well and follow me up the stairs.

I put him across from Namjoon, the second door on the right from the large staircase up to my bedroom. I watched him walk over to his bed, touching it gently and eyeing it. I went across the hall and into Taehyung’s room, grabbing a pair of pajama pants and a shirt before coming back to find Seokjin laying down, eyes trying to stay open. The pair of pants he wore were ragged and I could see his legs.

“Alright, these are for you,” I whispered. “Go to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning, okay? Get some rest.” I watched as he shut his eyes, his breathing becoming slow. I sighed in relief, walking out and gently closing the door. I walked up the stairs and into my room, where Namjoon and Taehyung sat on my bed, waiting patiently for me.

“Is he okay, Y/n?” Taehyung asked, watching me change into my own pajamas. I shrugged, walking over and laying between them, exhaustion filling me.

“No, Tae, I don’t think so,” I whispered. They both laid down, facing me as I laid on my back. “He has whip marks all over his body…. He was screaming when I went into the house….”

“What’s his name?” Namjoon asked.

“Seokjin,” I said, shutting my eyes. “I don’t know anything about him, just that he doesn’t like human men much….”

“What about hybrids?” Taehyung asked, curiously.

“Well… I don’t know…” I admitted. “We’ll find out in the morning, I guess….” Namjoon kissed my temple, curling into my side.

“Go to sleep,” Namjoon whispered, making me sigh in comfort.

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” I mumbled, feeling sleep completely engulf me.

The next morning, I was in the kitchen making breakfast. It was really early, my two boys still asleep upstairs. Even though exhaustion filled my every pore, I knew I had to get up early for our newcomer. Plus, I could probably take a nap later, as I didn’t have too many duties being under the radar.

When I turned around from the stove, I jumped when I saw Seokjin sitting at the island, watching me patiently. He seemed to flinch himself, but I gave the softest smile I could, nodding my head in hello and turning back to the stove to finish the eggs.

“Morning, Seokjin,” I said, turning and dumping the eggs onto four plates. I turned the stove off, turning back and gently pushing a plate near Seokjin, who nodded in thanks. “Did you sleep well?” I asked, beginning to eat my own plate of food. He nodded, giving the smallest smile, making my heart skip at the accomplishment. “Good, I’m glad. I see you put on Tae’s clothing.” Seokjin seemed to tense up, looking at me with wide, fearful eyes.

“Oh, don’t worry, they’re hybrids.” I paused to see his reaction, and it seemed to be much calmer. “So, hybrids are okay, right?” I questioned, making him look at me and nod.

“Can we come in?” Taehyung whispered from the opening, frowning slightly as Seokjin turned to look at him before turning back.

“Of course. Here’s your breakfast,” I whispered, grabbing their plates and handing it to them as they came in, smiling softly at Seokjin who nodded in hello. “Tae, I hope you don’t mind, I let him borrow your clothing.”

“Sure thing,” Taehyung said, smiling largely at the Alpaca, who gave a soft smile back. Progress. “If you want, you can borrow more! Or, Y/n could take you to the Hybrid Mall.” Seokjin tensed up again, frowning and looking down.

“It may be too soon for that, honey,” I whispered, kissing his cheek before doing the same to Namjoon. “If you’d prefer, you can use my computer to look up clothing from the hybrid mall. I can do a pick up order for you, so you can still get what you like.” Seokjin seemed to flash a very small smile, nodding his head. I smiled back, nodding and beginning to eat my own breakfast.

I stared at my computer, my brow furrowed as a mixture of anger and sadness rolled through me. It’s like I couldn’t keep my emotions in line. My partner had sent me Seokjin’s file, and the more I read, the more infuriated I became.

Namjoon knocked on the door, walking into the room and shutting it. He always was way more confident than Taehyung. I looked over my computer at him, shaking my head and looking back to the file. Namjoon sat in the chair in front of me, eyeing me as his tail twitched curiously.

“They killed his entire family,” I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief. “They thought his owner was harboring hybrids and they killed him and the others.”

“I’ve heard many stories like that,” Namjoon said, his voice soothing.

“His owner was in his mid sixties and owned a fucking farm, Namjoon, he wasn’t harboring hybrids,” I snapped, raising my voice more than I wanted to. Namjoon squinted his eyes cautiously, not moving a muscle. “I’m sorry, I’m just upset….” I mumbled.

“It’s alright,” Namjoon replied, leaning forward. He reached over, gripping your clenching hand and making you look at him with soft eyes. “No one ever said this job would be easy… but I know you’re strong enough to get through the most horrible scenarios.”

“Thanks, Joonie,” I mumbled, shutting my computer and rubbing my face. “There were pictures in his file and… they were so awful.”

“What happened to him?” Namjoon asked, leaning back and furrowing his brow. “Why didn’t he get killed?”

“Alpaca’s are rare when they look as good as he does,” I mumbled, looking at him. “Most alpaca hybrids look deformed, like a genuine mix between human and animal. He’s the first I’ve seen that doesn’t have a long neck and hooves…. They probably thought they could make some money off of him.”

“I can guess what they did to him in there…” Namjoon mumbled, frowning.

“Says that he had lived on the farm since the day he was born,” I replied. “When he came to the auction, he was ornery and didn’t listen…. They…” I trailed off, shaking my head and looking down.

“I know,” Namjoon replied. “I was there once….” I looked up, frowning and reaching over, gripping his hand. “Don’t worry. He’ll be okay…. He’s safe with you.”

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 4 years

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.37

Shiro arrived mid-afternoon, as Keith drank his forth cup of coffee to settle his nerves. His brother wasn’t great at keeping time, yet Keith wished he could have managed it for a nice change. Lance had been nervy all morning. He’d cleaned through the house, Keith still in bed when Lance came to attack the spare bedroom. His boyfriend casually lifting the bed, balancing it on his shoulder, vacuuming under it and placing the bed down again in a manner of minutes like it was perfectly normally, and he hadn’t been in the bed trying to sleep after tossing and turning all damn night as he wished he had the courage to go crawl into bed with Lance.

Matt and Lance were off to a rough start. Both males had looked each other up and down. Lance calling Matt a “mutt” and Matt calling Lance a “corpse”. Vampires and werewolves occasionally coexisted, but these two seemed natural born enemies. Lance had explained the house rules, Matt had looked bored, even scoffing when Lance asked that he and his girlfriend not have sex all over his house, and if they could wait until everyone was asleep before they did. Keith wasn’t sure this work. He could tell Lance was seething, the wine glass in his hand barely holding together in his kind of boyfriend’s tight grip. Sitting around the kitchen table, Shiro was trying his hardest to defuse the situation before it became one.

Smiling tightly, Shiro hand his hands wrapped around his coffee cup. His brother looked exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept the whole time he was away. It’d been months since Shiro had looked this bad. Keith wanted to send him to bed, but Shiro was kind of the lynchpin that brought everyone in the group together. If Shiro spoke, then both Lance and Matt would listen. Under the table Keith’s leg was against Lance’s trying to offer silent support as they couldn’t hold hands. Lance would freak if Keith even thought of trying

“Now. I know this is hard for all of us, but I think we should try by reintroducing ourselves. Lance?”

Keith felt it unfair Lance had to go first. Shiro hadn’t even talked to him alone about what had happened while he’d been away. Keith didn’t have anything he could use to make Lance feel better about the current situation. Whatever Shiro said, they’d be finding out together.

“I’m Lance. This is my house. I’ve been dead for the last 36 years. I have a cat called Blue. Pidge and Hunk are my two best human friends”

Lance sounded as if he was standing in front of some anonymous meeting. Detached and nervous. More nervous than detached

“Thanks for that, Lance. Keith?”

Shiro really was insistent they go through the whole charade

“Keith. Shiro’s brother. Apparently recently transferred to Platt. I like coffee”

Shiro raised an eyebrow at him. His brother was lucky to get that much from him as it was. Yeah. He hasn’t forgotten being transferred with no say. Curtis didn’t need prompting as he explained

“Curtis. I’ve been cursed for about 4 months now. Ex-hunter who now works for VOLTRON out of Platt. Lance’s personal assistant, and medical advisor”

Again, Shiro raised his eyebrow in silent judgment. If his brother liked to be too busy, he was going to miss everything happening

“We’ll talk about that later. Matt?”

Matt sighed, his expressions were so much like Pidge’s that it was easy to tell the two of them were siblings. Other than the height difference and the long scar on Matt’s cheek, Pidge could have easily passed as him

“Matt. Werewolf”

Shiro closed his eyes, Keith nearly able to hear his brother counting to ten before he opened his eyes again

“Look. Neither of you might be happy initially, but we all need to be on the same team here”

Matt huffed, even his attitude was like Pidge’s

“Fine. Matt. Werewolf. I was accidentally by my girlfriend Rieva. Pidge’s older brother. I’ve got all the attributes including the sense of smell. Lance smells like a virgin in heat”

“It’s better than stinking off wet dog that rolled in something dead”

“Hey...”

Shiro pushed his seat back, rising to his feet as he slammed his hands on the table. Whelp. They’d gone and done it now

“Enough. You’re acting like children. This is Lance’s house, so as long as you’re living here, you’ll show him some respect. Lance, Matt and Rieva are you’re guests. I know you’ve been ill, but you need to keep your ego in check. You both need to keep your egos under control. Keith and I will be moving back to Platt Monday week. The both of your are under our care until you’re proven to be a direct threat to human lives. Especially you, Matt. Lance has a long track record of not harming humans. You, on the other hand, injured two of the Blade’s werewolves. I can’t keep you safe if you slip again”

Matt sighed again. Keith wanted to punch him in the face. Sure, there were a huge array of sounds that the word “sigh” covered, but Matt kept using the same one

“I’m sorry. You’re right. We’re both having issues with our egos”

Keith looked to Lance who gave a tiny nod, Lance didn’t want to be standoffish, especially not to the brother of his best friend

“I’m sorry to. My senses have been pretty whack lately. That’s why Curtis is here, he was sent by Coran to make sure I don’t up and die... again”

“Alright. Good. Now, I was thinking maybe we’d all get along better if we all knew how each other turned”

Lance immediately paled, Keith had seen how hard it was for the vampire to explain the incident

“Lance got attacked by two vampires when he was 8”

Matt let out a whistle

“Damn, man. They got you young. Rieva tried to hide she was a werewolf. We met on the same tour in Greece, then again a few days later in Paris. I took it as a sign, she kept trying to push me away, that was 10 months ago. She accidentally bit me 9 months ago... got this scar at the same time”

Rieva nodded. The woman was pretty in her own way. Tanned enough to for her skin to be a deeper shade of brown than Lance’s with long black hair and green eyes

“I never meant to hurt him. I turned at the full moon and escaped for the night. Matt came after me...”

“And I’m glad I did”

Ugh. So they were one of those disgustingly loved up couples.

Across the table Curtis cleared his throat

“I was cursed. I’ve got half a horn, and half a tail. I was supposed to infiltrate a werewolf pack in Prague, but they seemed to already know I was hunter. They were trying to summon the spirit of a berserker using magic, only I’m not a werewolf and the spell went wrong. I wasn’t permitted to stay in Rome, they didn’t take too kindly to me being cursed. Coran offered to take me, so I’ve been working in Platt looking into the curses effects in his laboratory. So far it seems to affect the things I say. Coran feels they summoned part of a lesser demon instead of a beast spirit, and part of its soul has bonded with my quintessence. Lance has been through a lot, and Coran thought we may be able to help each other. His fae magic had no effect on the curse. Of course, without the original spell working backwards has been hard. And it hasn’t been that great, but I’m happy to be alive. Especially now Shiro’s returned”

It was Keith’s turn to raise an eyebrow at his brother. Curtis had no filter and that sounded suspiciously like his brother had been keeping secrets about his love life. Either that, or Curtis simply meant he was happy to see his friend and hadn’t meant it the way he sounded. Just because he’d snagged himself a boyfriend, didn’t mean everyone was suddenly in love and dating. Shiro was still mourning Adam. They’d intended to marry and everything that came with it. It wasn’t fair... what had happened. Since meeting Lance, Keith had kind of felt like maybe he was better place himself, forced to work through feelings because there wasn’t a whole lot things to do in Garrison. Not that he was going to tell Shiro this. His brother had abandoned him and he figured he could milk that for a little longer.

“That’s rough. Most werewolves I’ve met have been all about the muscles and not the sharpest tools in the shed. They really shouldn’t be messing with that stuff. Not that vampires are any better. Who the fuck takes a human as a pet?”

Curtis nodded at Lance’s words, Matt didn’t look terribly pleased but by now he’d probably had his fair of share of scrapes with werewolves. Shiro simply smiled like he’d solved everything with one conversation. He definitely hadn’t.

“How’s Pidge doing?”

The glass in Lance’s hand finally broke. Lance shoving Keith when Keith automatically went to start picking up the pieces

“Idiot. You can’t touch the blood. I am not having you think I’ve turned you again”

Reprimanded by his boyfriend, Keith crossed his arms. Lance was super protective of Pidge, he’d have had months of Pidge upset because Matt wasn’t messaging her back

“I wasn’t thinking”

“That’s obvious. Don’t touch it while I get a cloth”

Matt watched as Lance cleaned up the mess, placing the glass in the sink to rinse the blood off of it

“I asked you how my sister is”

Keith almost felt sorry for Matt. A cranky Lance was a scary thing

“How do you think she is? I know you were staying away to do the right thing by your family, but you really fucking hurt her by not replying. She pretty much worships you, and you weren’t replying. She’s fine physically. Still hunting ghosts and making videos. Still wanting to do dumb things like she’s isn’t a human. Her and Hunk are still as tight as always. Hunk’s got a girlfriend now, Shay. She’s just like him, they’re so sweet together. They’ve got no idea about this world. I’ve never told her and I’ve done my best to make sure she never finds out”

Matt looked upset, hopefully with his actions

“You wouldn’t understand... I wasn’t going to come back...”

Keith groaned mentally, why would Matt go there? Lance understood too well what a bite did to a family

“I wouldn’t understand? Please tell me how I don’t know how being turned can ruin your family? How you’re scared of what you are and you don’t understand? I have no idea at all. We both know if Pidge knew, she’d want the bite. She’d want to be part of this world. Heck, I think she’s so interested in the paranormal because she wants to feel close to you again. Rieva, please don’t think I’m having a go at you. I know accidental turns happen, and how scared you must have been to turn Matt. I’ve put you and Matt in the room Keith and Shiro were using, the guest bathroom is near your room. It’s the downstairs spare room. Shiro, I’ll bunk you Curtis and Keith. I’ll have to find a spare bed, or one of you can sleep in the living room. Normally I don’t have a full house to worry about. My office is off limits. I work as a lawyer so I’d rather keep my clients information confidential. If I have to talk to a client, I’ll try warn you ahead of time. If you want to train, do it out on the back lawn, and don’t kill my garden. Also, Curtis and Keith aren’t allowed near the toaster without supervision... And maybe don’t touch Keith’s coffee, he’d likely to stab you for trying. He revivals Pidge with his need for caffeine. I’m going to double check the bedroom upstairs”

Lance had barely left the kitchen before Keith was pushing his chair back. Shiro cocking his head as he watched

“Where are you going?”

“To check on Lance. He’s obviously upset”

“When did become so perceptive?”

“When you went disappeared for weeks. Pidge is like a sister to Lance. Everything dangerous she wants to do he always checks it out first to make sure doesn’t get hurt. He’s been looking out for her, even when it puts him in danger. He collapsed a mine shaft so Pidge wouldn’t be hurt... Don’t listen to our conversation”

Yeah, Keith wasn’t be fair. He’d basically tattooed “I’m not okay with this situation across his forehead”. Shiro would make him apologise later, but for now he wanted to check on Lance. He’d gone from having Hunk and Pidge staying over to 6 people kind of living with him. Keith was already at his people limit before everyone came back. He’d missed Shiro, but he wasn’t sure he was keen on Matt. He wasn’t about to shoot him, but family was a complicated thing that Lance had had such a hard time with. Heading upstairs he headed straight for Lance’s bedroom, knowing he’d find him there.

Knocking gently on Lance’s door, he found Lance sitting on the side of his bed like he liked to do when he was thinking

“I didn’t handle that very well”

Keith sighed as he walked over to the bed, before sitting down next to Lance and taking his hand

“I think I handled that even worse”

“I heard. It’s just... my body is being weird again. I’m not used to the scent of werewolves and it’s making everything all yuck. I’ll get over it, but I shouldn’t have been so short with Matt”

“You were worried about Pidge. You’re allowed to worry about your friends”

Lance dropped his head to rest of Keith’s shoulder

“Still. I made a horrible first impression”

“If Matt is anything like Pidge, you’ll be fine once it settles down a bit”

“I feel like I’m lying to her by not letting her know he’s here and that he’s okay”

“Nah. Think of it like a surprise. Besides, you’re not intentionally hurting her by not telling her right away”

“Still feels like I am. How are you? You must be happy Shiro’s back”

“I’m relieved. I’m still mad at him though. I get why he had to keep quiet until things were organised”

“You two will work things out. You should be downstairs with everyone else...”

“I’m fine here. I wanted to make sure you’re okay. How’s the hand?”

“Healed up. I must have looked so lame breaking the glass”

“You didn’t meant to”

“It still happened. I know Pidge is human and close ties are dangerous but I don’t want to see her hurt”

“I know you don’t. It’s one of the things I like about you”

“It’s not my great arse and award winning personality?”

Lance tried to joke but it sounded flat. Keith didn’t like it. Lance was being too hard on himself for caring

“Those too. So, what are we going to do about bedding? I don’t mind sleeping on the couch”

“If anyone should be sleeping on the couch, it should be me. I knew I didn’t have enough beds, but I don’t know what to do about that”

“I can sleep on the couch. I’ve slept on way worse”

“Mami would have a fit if I made a guest sleep on the couch”

“Then how about we share a bed?”

Keith didn’t mean it to sound as forward as it did. But Lance’s bed would easily fit both of them, and there was only one bed left. Not that he actually minded the couch. There would be plenty of space for him

“I don’t know... wouldn’t that make things awkward with Shiro?”

“Like you said, I need to talk to him anyway”

“I get nightmares...”

“So do I”

“But you’re not a vampire. I could seriously hurt you”

“Or, it could be fine. Why don’t we just try it for the night and think about things tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I turned the forth room into my office... maybe I could sleep there?”

“Lance, it’s your house. You shouldn’t be kicked out your own bed for doing a nice thing and giving Rieva and Matt a place to call home”

“I can’t imagine what the two of them went through. I really hope they don’t hate me”

“Like you said, it’s an ego thing. You can’t control that, but if anyone can bring their ego under control, it’s you”

Lance let out a small snort. Keith taking the win

“See, you know I’m right. You’re overthinking things”

“Only because I’m rubbish at hosting people”

“Nah, I’m still here, aren’t I?

“Only because you’re stubborn”

“I’m as stubborn as you are. Seriously though, you’re fine. Things’ll settle down”

“I’m worried about going into heat. I have I idea how to explain that”

“You don’t have to, unless you want to”

“I’m not going to have much choice if I turn into a bat”

“We can talk to Shiro together. Or I can tell him. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable”

“You’re the one I’m worried about. I don’t want you and Shiro to end up fighting because of me”

That was so Lance

“Even if we fight, we’re brothers at the end of the day”

“That must be nice. Mami is the glue that keeps my family together. I miss her”

For someone older than him, Lance was sweet for still caring for his mum the way he did. If it wasn’t for the fact they had three new arrivals, Keith would suggest a trip up to Platt

“Why don’t you call her?”

“She’d known something’s up. She’s got enough to worry about”

“She loves you. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. But I get if you don’t want to call her. Can I do anything?”

“You already are. You should go talk to Shiro. I might take a nap and calm down”

Lance took too much on his shoulders. Keith didn’t want to leave him alone when he was feeling down

“I can stay...”

“Nah. I’ll Be okay. You go make up with Shiro. It’ll make me feel better”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Thanks for coming to check on me”

“I’ve got your back”

“I know... if I’m not away in hour or so, come poke me with a stick”

Keith found himself kissing the top of Lance’s head, before replying

“Will do. I’ll find the biggest stick I can”

“Why do I feel like you’re actually going to find a stick now?”

“Because I am. Now let’s get you tucked in. Can’t have you sleeping on top of the covers”

“I’m not a little kid”

“You could be”

“Fight me”

Keith laughed. He deserved that one

“After the old man gets his sleep. I’ll sort things out with Shiro, so stop worrying about it so much”

“I can’t help it. I care about you”

Keith kissed the top of Lance’s head again. Shiro was going to be confused as fuck when he finally explained what was going on between him and Lance. Hopefully his brother would be more distracted by what was happening with his heart that his newly discovered love life

“I care about you too. It’s going to be okay”

#once Bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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lailaliquorice · 5 years

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a dream is a soft place to land

this is a very very long awaited prompt from the lovely @bottom-of-the-bin who asked for aralyn with the prompt ‘It was you the whole time’. took me a little while to think of something but I’m soft today so here is some soft for you cass!!

I need to write more aralyn in general, and when I saw the show last sunday Jaye’J and Vicki were aralyn rights so I’ve been needed to write them this week in particular. little bit of historical aralyn alluded to too, and some nice commentary on anne’s relationship with relationships. I get a big people-pleaser vibe from her, and I think with catherine she has just found that person who is her home and she can sink into. it’s good and I love them <3

Skipping out on 500-odd years of human development meant that there had been plenty for the queens to adjust to when they were first reincarnated. Some things had been an exciting curve; most technology, for instance. Their appreciation for cameras and the ability to save moments forever was obvious in the photo frames dotted all over the house as well as Anna’s scrapbook, Jane’s photo album, and Anne’s string of polaroids. The internet had been a wonder for Cathy’s research , while Catherine was probably most grateful for the documentaries she could watch on a quiet evening when she didn’t want to be alone in her own head.

But there were some things that had been much harder. Remembering that falling ill wasn’t a death sentence anymore, for instance. The first time Kat had come down with a cough she’d burst into Jane’s room in hysterics, sobbing between painful breaths that she didn’t want to die again, and Catherine had seen too clearly the fear in Jane’s gaze as she hushed Kat with reassurances none of them quite believed in. They knew things were safer now, could remember that logically, but when times were stressful it was hard to trust in something so different from what they’d known.

A particularly nasty bout of colds had struck the entire cast and crew, meaning more than one show had to be cancelled as the fight to get six actresses and four band members onto stage became too hard. It was nothing serious, they were all repeatedly assured, just enough to make them all a little miserable and the idea of doing the job they loved so much seem like an impossible feat.

Catherine made sure to close the door quietly as she came home from a show with Anna and Kat. They’d managed to push through to what they were hoping was the tail end of the little epidemic, with all the Ladies in Waiting except Maggie back in commission and half of the queens just about able to pull off a good show.

Cathy’s insistence on pushing through when she was sick had caused her illness to drag on for much longer than anyone else’s, much to her frustration that Anna doing the same had had the opposite outcome, while Jane’s anxiety around illness meant she felt a little too mentally fragile to go on stage even though she was probably physically able to. Anne, on the other hand, had managed not to get sick for long enough that she got cocky thinking she’d escaped, right before she fell ill at the last minute and was still going through the worst of it.

After bringing Jane a mug of peppermint tea and checking that Cathy was still resting properly, Catherine padded quietly up the stairs to Anne’s attic room. Upon peering round the door she saw her curled up on top of the duvet asleep, though she stirred with a quiet hum as the door hinges squeaked slightly.

“Hello love,” Catherine said, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed as Anne blinked sleepily up at her. “How are you feeling?”

Anne hummed again as she decided on her answer. “Tired and achy,” she said, which explained why she hadn’t really moved from her lifeless position on the bed.

Giving her a sympathetic smile, Catherine felt her forehead before answering and wasn’t surprised at the head radiating from her skin. “You poor soul,” she murmured as she stroked Anne’s hair away from her face.

“I don’t like it,” Anne muttered, though seemed to relax a little under Catherine’s gentle touch. After several seconds of quiet, she met Catherine’s gaze almost hesitantly before asking “Can… can you just hold me for a little bit? Please?”

Catherine’s heart melted a little at the shyness in her voice, swinging her legs onto the bed to lie down and open her arms. Anne didn’t wait for her to say “Of course,” before she was crawling into her embrace, one arm around her back as she laid her head down just below Catherine’s chin.

They were quiet for a little while, Catherine just enjoying having her girlfriend in her arms and Anne taking obvious comfort from having someone holding her close. She was just wondering if Anne had fallen back to sleep when she shifted a little and asked “Do you remember that time we went riding back then and got lost in the woods together?”

The old memory was an unexpected but pleasant one, and Catherine found herself smiling into Anne’s hair as she replied. “Of course. We began that day at each other’s throats but ended it friends at long last, not that we could let the King know that. Whatever made you think of that now?”

“I dunno. Was just thinking about us, I guess.”

Catherine couldn’t help the frown that made its way onto her face at that, struggling to keep the stiff tension she could feel from building in her shoulders to the point where Anne would notice. “How so?” she asked, trying to keep her voice casual.

Anne shrugged, but when she moved her head up to look at Catherine there was only a soft smile on her face. “How its different with us than anything I’ve felt before.”

The curious quiet from Catherine clearly registered as a cue for her to continue, as Anne coughed into the crook of her elbow to clear her raspy throat before she spoke again. “Normally when I fell for people it’d be all at once. I wanted them, they wanted me, we’d both just want the people we showed to each other and when we really saw each other it never lasted. When they really saw me.” She trailed off for a moment then, a faraway look appearing on her face as she finished “I was always too much.”

“Never for me,” Catherine interrupted quietly, kissing Anne’s forehead lightly.

“That’s what I mean,” Anne fought on, finding Catherine’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “There was never any big moment with you, y’know? It never hit me like a bus that I was crushing on you which was what I always looked for. But it was that day in the woods that I actually saw you for the first time and you saw me, and for the first time ever that made things better.”

She broke off to sniffle loudly, and it was only when she looked back up into Catherine’s adoring expression that she realised that the usually so hard-headed Anne Boleyn was actually almost crying.

“And it took far too long but eventually I just knew. It was you the whole time. It was always going to be you.”

Catherine let out a choked up breathe as Anne finished, pulling her closer and holding her tightly. “I love you,” she said, not a single shred of hesitance in her voice. She’d struggled to utter those three words for so long, but now they fell off her tongue with practised ease from just how much she meant them.

Anne hummed happily from somewhere around Catherine’s collar, willingly accepting the kiss that Catherine placed on her lips before she gave a reluctant frown. “You’ll get sick if you do that,” she whined, sounding very unwilling to be the voice of reason for once.

“I’ve already had this illness, I’m immune to it now,” Catherine pointed out somewhat confidently, though pulled an unsure expression as she added “Well, I think that’s how it works.”

Laughter from Anne brought the smile back to her face, soothing her girlfriend’s worries by kissing her on the nose instead which just made her giggle harder. But she grew a little more serious when she spoke again, thinking of what Anne had said as she voiced her thoughts aloud. “You know what I think of love at first sight, but there was something on that day you’re right. Familiarity. Like my soul had found it’s home on Earth and it was with you,” she said wistfully.

“I love it when you get poetic,” Anne said, her voice somewhere between adoring and teasing.

Catherine gave a quiet huff, but her pretend annoyance lasted a second before the soft expression returned to her face. “You know what I mean though,” she said, and Anne hummed in agreement before she continued. “You’re the one person who I can be truly honest with. I never doubt my words with you or second-guess myself. I don’t have to be Catherine of Aragon when it’s just us within these walls. I can just be Catalina.” She loved it when Anne called her by her Spanish name; loved the distinction it gave her between her usual self and the person she knew inside, loved how the clumsy syllables rolled off her non-native tongue.

Nodding, Anne held Catherine’s gaze with a loving smile. “To me you are just Catalina,” she said, as if it was the most simple thing in the world. As if loving her was the most simple thing in the world.

“And I love you for it.”

Anne smiled. “Love you too.”

Catherine rolled onto her back as Anne clung to her tighter, curling up in the crook of Catherine’s arm with her head on her chest and legs tangled with hers. The last words before she drifted off to sleep were barely audible, but Catherine could pick out enough consonants from the sleepy mumble to get an idea of what she was saying.

“I always feel safe when I’m here with you.”

Pressing a kiss to Anne’s forehead, Catherine lay still with only her hand moving to card gentle fingers through Anne’s hair while she slept. She knew better than most the trust issues that Anne kept so quiet, so the true enormity of Anne’s statement wasn’t lost on her. So she held her close while she got the rest she so desperately needed, wondering what she had ever done to deserve to have someone like Anne walk into her life and look at her like she had hung the stars.

Catherine was ok with not knowing the answer to that. But what she did know what that she had no intention of ever letting her go.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #aralyn #laila's writing

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marinsawakening · 4 years

Text

Look Out for Your Own

Fandom: No. 6

Wordcount: 2470

Summary: Inukashi is autistic and starts to suspect Shion is as well, and starts helping him out in a mentor-like fashion.

Notes: Written for Autism Acceptance Month.

///

“What’s autism?”

Inukashi turned to look at Shion, incredulous. “What, they didn’t teach you that in your fancy classrooms?”

“Apparently not,” he replied. He’d stopped washing Fluffball, one of the few dogs who actually liked baths, and she looked at him with pleading eyes. Shion didn’t seem to notice, too busy looking at em with that stupid head-cock he did when he was curious.

“Huh.” Eir fingers drummed on eir legs, a smirk playing on eir lips. “Guess sometimes even us slum rats know more than No. 6’s precious genius children.”

“I suspect you guys probably know a lot more than we do,” Shion said dryly. “No. 6 controls the information we citizens receive with an iron fist; the more ignorant we are, the easier we are to control.”

Inukashi nodded. “Knowledge is power, and all that.” If there was anything ey understood, it was that. “Maybe I shouldn’t explain it to you after all.”

“What?” He sounded so shocked at that, as if he hadn’t set himself up for it, but damnit, Shion’s puppy eyes were at least as effective as Fluffball’s. Inukashi clacked eir tongue.

“Fine, whatever. Autism is a thing that makes your brain work differently from other people, and it makes it more difficult for you to communicate with others, among other things.” Ey shrugged. “Basically, I have trouble reading people’s body language, or understanding what they mean. Dogs are way easier to read.”

“So it’s a mental disorder?”

“Yup,” ey said, popping the ‘p’.

Now Fluffball was full-on nudging Shion, but he somehow still managed to remain oblivious, hands clapped together and rocking slightly back and forth. “That explains why I didn’t learn about it, then; No. 6 wants us to believe all disorders and disabilities have been erased from the city, although that would obviously be completely impossible, but regardless, they avoid talking about them whenever possible. I imagine those with a history or neurology specialization might’ve learned about it, although I have no doubt the information would be extremely biased -”

“Aaand I don’t care,” Inukashi cut him off. “Get on with the washing, nerd. Fluffball is about to start crying.”

Shion startled, immediately returning to rubbing soap, to a happy tail wag of Fluffball. “Fluffy I’m so sorry! I tend to get caught up in these things...”

He sure did. If it was about biology, Shion could ramble on for hours uninterrupted, a glint in his eyes and swinging on his toes, like -

Oh. Kinda like ey did, back when ey were younger and less aware of the fact that such blatant displays of emotions could get you scammed or, if you were particularly unlucky, killed.

Huh.

Something to keep an eye on. Knowledge was power, after all.

///

The next time Shion brought it up was on cleaning day. Once a month, Inukashi did a deep clean of the main hall and the more expensive hotel rooms; of course, it wasn’t that people here cared much about cleanliness, but ey liked to make sure none of eir guests left with more infections than they came with, at least. And so, deep cleaning.

Inukashi had offered Shion a job helping em, because honestly, ey could use the help. The dogs were enthusiastic, but there was only so much they could do without opposable thumbs.

They were scrubbing the stairs when Shion asked: “Does the smell of cleaning supplies bother you?”

Inukashi blinked. “What’s it to you?”

Shion looked up at em, and oh no, those eyes were sparkling, he was about to go on a tangent. “I’ve been reading up on autism since you last mentioned it, and it’s quite fascinating, really! Most of the literature I’ve been able to find pertains to the more technical side of the disorder, talking about how exactly it affects the brain, but I’ve been able to get a hold of some personal accounts as well, and one of them mentioned having trouble with the smell of cleaning supplies. And I mean, I get that, I already have a lot of trouble with that and I’m not even autistic, so I was wondering what that was like for you.”

Good god, that boy really was a nerd, huh.

Well, regardless. This was a good opportunity to snoop.

Inukashi dropped eir rag back into the water. “I don’t have much of an issue with it, though honestly, that might just be because the soap here sucks balls.” After a short pause, ey offered. “But I do have a lot of issues with sounds. Everything here’s so goddamn loud all the time, it kills me.”

Shion’s leg began to bounce as he seemed to forget all about the cleaning he was supposed to do, and his fingers drummed against his leg. Hadn’t they done that last time, as well? “I suppose it’s really busy here, yeah, though honestly I like it better than the weird quiet in No. 6. And yeah, the soap here sucks. It doesn’t have much smell here, which is nice, because in No. 6...” he shuddered. “Well, sanitation used to be part of my job, and the smell got so strong that I needed to run outside more than once a day, just to escape from it. West Block’s much easier to deal with. Sure, it objectively smells worse, but it’s also less...” he paused. “Sharp? Less sharp is the only way I can describe it. It hurts less.”

Shion, the genius who said “I’m not autistic” and “the smell of bleach hurts so much I need to physically run away from it” in the same sentence. What an idiot.

“Well, if you have trouble with it again, try to focus on other sensations. Like, focus on how your shirt feels against your body. Or get a bunch of dogs to distract you and attack people who are making you feel bad. That works too.”

Wait. Why had ey said that? Shion hadn’t even asked for advice, and ey’d just given it to him, free of charge. What the hell.

Shion snorted. “I’ll try and see if I can train Nezumi’s rats to attack people, thanks.”

And before ey could stop emself, ey imagined one of the Cleaners getting taken out by a small rat, and ey laughed.

///

Shion was autistic. Like, really obviously autistic. Inukashi had no idea how the kid hadn’t picked up on it himself.

There were a thousand little clues strewn across him, from his drumming fingers and bouncing legs to the way he infodumped about anything at the slightest provocation, his savant-like intelligence and his simultaneous obliviousness to people, his staunch idealism and his gullible nature. Shion was autistic from top to toe and it didn’t even take a month of observation to figure it out.

Worse, though, was that Inukashi couldn’t seem to help emself from mentoring him.

Ey shared some of eir more subtle stims with him in the hopes that he would stop being such an open book (he didn’t, obviously, he was a hopeless case), ey tried to teach him some of eir cheats for interacting with people (Shion was very surprised to learn that ey never looked anyone in the eye, instead staring at their nose, but it turned out that he didn’t have much issue with that, so that was a bust), ey even tried to explain a bit more about autism of eir own volition (Shion hang to eir every word and then applied absolutely none of the information to himself). Ey didn’t know why ey bothered. There was just something about that kid that made em want to protect him.

Not that ey’d ever admit it, not even - alright, yeah, ey’d admit it under pain of death, but ey’d do just about anything under pain of death. Either way, ey finally felt like ey understood how Shion had managed to get under noted asshole Nezumi’s skin. Shion was just like that.

The turning point came on a sunny afternoon. It wasn’t anything special, they hadn’t even planned to meet; they’d simply run into each other at the market, and decided to walk home with each other.

Something was up with Shion.

He was shaking out his hands at his side and hadn’t stopped even after Inukashi had pointed it out (it attracted attention, and attention was never a good thing). His eyes flitted side to side, like a hunted rabbit, and if Inukashi didn’t know better, ey’d think he was being followed by someone. However, there was no reason for anyone to want revenge on Shion, so it must be something else. If there was no actual danger, why did he look so scared?

“Hey Shion, what’s wrong?”

Shion barely looked down, and when he opened his mouth, only a vague grunting nose came out. He tried again. “...Much...not,” was all he could say, and he clawed at his face, seemingly frustrated about something.

Oh. He was having a meltdown.

A few whistles and Inukashi’s dogs were on the move, carving out a path among the people to get em and Shion out of the crowd as fast as possible. Shion didn’t even seem to notice that something was off, but followed em, probably too dazed to do anything else. Within minutes, they were far away from the market, between abandoned houses where fewer people lived. It was quieter here, a little darker, a little cooler, and it was where Inukashi went whenever ey couldn’t keep it together anymore. Hopefully it’d help Shion too.

Not a moment too soon. Shion started clawing at his face with a ferver ey’d never seen before, and Inukashi quickly threw eir mantle over his head to prevent him from hurting himself. “Sit,” ey ordered. “Put your head between your knees.” Simple words, swift orders to provide structure. Things that had always helped em, although eir dogs didn’t talk; they just did. But dog hair was different from human skin, and Inukashi had never liked to be touched by humans when ey were like this, so ey didn’t touch Shion, and hoped he would just follow verbal orders.

He did, dropping against a wall and pressing his head between his knees, fisting Inukashi’s mantle so tight his knuckles paled, holding onto it like it was his only lifeline. He didn’t scream. That was kind of odd; Inukashi screamed a lot when ey were like this. Just a difference between them, ey supposed.

They sat there for a while, Shion rocking in a frantic, but eerily quiet manner, and Inukashi leaning to the wall next to him, keeping an eye out for any assholes who might take advantage of Shion’s weakened state.

Ey didn’t know how long it took Shion to calm down, but he did, eventually, sliding off eir mantle.

“...You,” he started, then shook his head, biting his hand in frustration.

“If you can’t talk, don’t,” Inukashi said. “And don’t hurt yourself. Bite on your sleeve if you need to.”

Shion switched to his sleeve, biting on it hard, and after a few seconds, nodded.

“I’m taking you home for now, we can talk about this tomorrow. Take a nap or something.”

Shion nodded again, too tired to protest.

It took them longer than it should to get to Nezumi and Shion’s little shelter, Shion sometimes stopping in the middle of the path just to stare in the distance. But, finally, they did make it, and thankfully, Nezumi was still home.

“What -” he started, but Inukashi pushed past him.

“Lie on the damn bed, idiot, and go take a nap,” ey ordered Shion, and he did so without questioning, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Nezumi asked, arms crossed.

“Your boyfriend had a meltdown,” Inukashi said shortly. “If you dare bully him about it I’ll sic my dogs on you, got that?”

“Dully noted,” Nezumi said dryly, still leaning against the wall as if he couldn’t care less about anything in the world, but his eyes betrayed him as they flickered over to Shion.

“You can make him something warm when he wakes up,” Inukashi answered his unasked question. “And keep a notebook nearby. He seemed to have trouble talking.”

“Whatever,” he replied, making a truly pathetic effort to disguise his worry. “Get out of my house, dog.”

“With pleasure, asshole.”

Shion would be fine. Nezumi was an absolute softy when it came to that boy, and by now, Inukashi could hardly even blame him without being a big fat hypocrite.

///

“So,” Shion started. It had been three days since his meltdown, and Inukashi had decided to let him come to em instead of badgering him emself. It had taken longer than expected for him to confront em. But now, here he was, looking like himself again. “I have a feeling I might be autistic.”

Inukashi looked at him, and promptly burst out into laughter.

“It’s not funny!” Shion protested. “I’m not joking!”

“It’s not -” Inukashi gasped. “Obviously you’re not joking. It’s just that it was blatantly obvious, and it’s hilarious it took you this long to figure it out.”

Shion blinked. “It was obvious?”

“Oh yeah, believe me, you might as well have ‘autism’ written across your forehead. And even that would’ve probably been more subtle.”

Shion squinted. “If you knew, why didn’t you tell me?”

Inukashi shrugged. “Didn’t feel like it. I’m kind of an asshole, remember?”

Shion looked at em for a solid ten seconds, before a grin slowly spread across his face.

“You know,” he said nonchalantly, “I just realized you’ve been helping me quite a bit. Giving me tips, helping me deal with that meltdown, stuff like that.”

“I have not!” Inukashi protested, but Shion ignored em.

“So what I think,” Shion continued, “is that you didn’t know how to tell me, so you just let me figure it out myself. While also helping me in the meantime.”

“You’re reading into things that aren’t there,” Inukashi muttered, tapping eir feet rapidly. Shion laughed.

“Sure,” he giggled. “You’re a heartless information broker who cares only for emself, got it.”

“And don’t you forget it,” ey confirmed. Then paused for a second. “Also, the gal who sells meat, the one with the red hair, knows sign language. Just in case that’s something you’d wanna know.”

Shion nodded. “Of course, this has nothing to do with the fact that I have trouble communicating verbally at times.”

“Absolutely not,” Inukashi confirmed. “It’s just something I thought was interesting.”

“Well, thank you anyway,” Shion said, smile softened from a smirk to something friendlier, something you rarely saw here in the West Block.

That boy would be the death of em, one day. Still, it was kind of nice to have another autistic here.

Maybe Shion was onto something with that whole ‘helping people’ thing.

#no. 6 #shion #inukashi #shion no. 6 #inukashi no. 6 #actuallyautistic #autistic headcanon #my posts #my writing #auti stuff #writing wise

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ohmyprodigalson · 5 years

Note

Okay, so the reader is Malcolm's s/o and shes really emotionally closed off. She doesn't Express her feelings very often (it was a miracle she even revealed her feelings to him.) And he finally asks about it, and it turns out it's from past trauma she never got help for. You decide everything else, just hurt/comfort please!

I cried while I wrote this, and I doubt I can ever read it again without crying. In short, please take the trigger warnings very seriously.

Trigger Warnings: Childhood trauma, child physical and mental abuse, animal cruelty, implications of domestic abuse towards a woman, and gun violence.

Word Count: 1,626

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Malcolm looked down into the chocolate- brown eyes of the sweet dog beside him. She wagged her tail happily as they walked. He had just adopted her from the local shelter and was taking her home.

He wasn't really a dog person. Malcolm had Sunshine, but he never considered getting a cat or dog. Maybe it was because his mother forbade them in her house? He wasn't sure. But he decided to get this dog for (Y/N), hoping it would make her happy.

When they got home, he let the dog run into the apartment and start exploring. When (Y/N) stepped into Malcolm's line of sight, the dog eagerly jumped up on her with a smile. (Y/N) didn't try to push the dog back on the ground, but instead lifted her arms up into the air so that the dog couldn't touch her. Without looking away from the dog, she asked, "Malcolm, what's going on? Why is there a dog here?"

"Do you like her?" Malcolm smiled hopefully.

"She's nice, but why is she here?"

Malcolm's heart sank a little. His plan wasn't working. "I thought you might like a dog."

(Y/N) recognized that what Malcolm was doing for her was really thoughtful, but she was afraid of getting too close to another dog. She couldn't explain it to him though, so she had to pretend she was ok. However, she wasn't going to do a good job of it.

She gently placed a hand on top of the dog's head, barely a pet. But it was sufficient for the dog, who jumped down and started excitedly exploring the rest of the apartment. (Y/N) looked back at Malcolm and forced a smile. "Thank you.”

Malcolm saw right through it. He didn't understand. She clearly liked dogs, because she always let a smile play at the corner of her lips when she saw one. So what was the problem?

He wanted to talk to her and try to figure it out. He was trying to make her happy because she never seemed happy around him. She rarely had a smile, and he was desperately trying to put one on her face. If a dog wouldn't do it, there must be something deeper going on.

"Hey, can we talk for a minute?"

(Y/N) hesitated. It sounded like something was wrong, and she got scared, even though she wouldn't show it. "Sure."

They sat down next to each other on the couch. Malcolm spoke first. "(Y/N), I thought you liked dogs."

"I do." Oh no, was her reaction not believable? She didn't want to seem ungrateful.

"So are you not happy to have one of your own?" Malcolm was trying to be patient, but he wanted his questions to be pointed. If they weren't, she could skirt the issue.

"It's not that." She averted her gaze.

"What is it?" Malcolm waited, but she didn’t respond. He held her hand. "You can tell me anything. I won't get upset, I promise. Please, tell me what you're thinking."

(Y/N) considered what would happen if she talked about what her thought process was behind being cold towards the dog. She didn't want to have any secrets to hide from Malcolm, but it went against everything in her nature to talk about her thoughts. She looked back at Malcolm and decided to take a leap of faith when she saw the gentle sincerity in his eyes. Her voice was quiet.

"I don't want it to die."

Malcolm was deeply surprised. He couldn't hide the small smile that played across his lips. Why was she so concerned about that right now? His voice was a little high with confusion. "What do you mean? She's maybe two years old. She won't die for a long time."

"No, dogs die. That's what they do."

(Y/N) normally wasn’t so emphatic. It worried Malcolm, because this meant that there was something deeper. Maybe something happened to the last dog she had to make her feel this way? "What happened to your last dog?"

"Daddy shot it. And he said that if I ever got another one, he would shoot it, too."

Malcolm was reeling with shock. There were so many things wrong with what (Y/N) just said that he didn't even know where to begin. The first thing that came to mind was her use of the word, 'daddy,' when referring to her father. He knew that the use of this term in adulthood could signal significant abuse as a small child. When he asked his question, he never imagined he would happen upon a landmine of childhood trauma. But he had to keep going. He couldnt let her keep this suffering from him any longer.

His next words were some of the hardest he has ever had to say. "Why did your dad shoot your dog?"

"My mother got me a dog when I was a little girl. I was playing with it in the back yard when Daddy came home. I'm not supposed to be happy if he's not happy, so he shot the dog because it made me happy." (Y/N)'s face had no emotion this entire time, and she refused to make eye contact with Malcolm. She was numb, letting the words pour out of her without much thought.

Malcolm stopped breathing. The heartache he was experiencing was too great, and he needed to contain it because this moment wasn't about him; it was about her. Just imagining what it must have been like to see your dog get shot in front of you, as a small child no less, was disturbing.

He was quiet and gentle. "I'm sure that made you very sad, and you don't want to feel that way ever again."

"Daddy got mad when I cried. He beat me and told me never to cry again. Sometimes I forgot, and he would beat me until I remembered."

Malcolm was truly speechless at this point. (Y/N) continued letting the words fall from her mouth. Her voice was calm, and she spoke in a tone that made her words seem like normal things anyone would say.

"I can't have this dog, because it will die. And then I can't cry for it."

Malcolm rapidly searched for the right words to say, but there were none. Still, he tried his best. He struggled to keep his voice from shaking because the cries he wouldn't release. "You are allowed to feel happy, and you are allowed to feel sad. I know you can't see it, but your father was wrong."

(Y/N) finally made eye contact with Malcolm. Were those tears in his eyes? Why was he crying?

He gripped her hand tightly. "You can always show me how you're feeling." He gave her hand a small shake. "Always."

It was clear that she wasn't going to magically show her emotions, but that didn't stop Malcolm from showing his. During this whole story, he wanted nothing more than to just hold her and tell her how sorry he was that she ever experienced those things. So, he let go of her hand and leaned close, pulling her into a hug.

When Malcolm didn't let go of her in a matter of seconds, (Y/N) experienced a foreign feeling. She was accustomed to a hug goodbye or a hug hello, but she had never been held in an embrace before. Her mother learned to never show affection towards her, even after they left her abusive father behind, so she had never experienced a loving hug.

Malcolm's hug was tight and unrelenting. (Y/N) slowly raised her arms to hug him in return, and something deep inside her woke up from a its eternal slumber. As she placed her hands on his back, she tried to recognize it, but couldn't. In reality, this was the first time that she was ever truly loved without fear.

Tears started to form in her eyes as her grip on Malcolm tightened. (Y/N) tried to understand why she was starting to cry, but dismissed the reason as unimportant when she became overwhelmed with emotion. She let her tears fall. They were followed with more tears, and then a soft cry. Malcolm couldn't believe his ears. This was the most emotion she had ever shown, so he held her as tightly as he could. He wanted to support her through this.

Her cries turned into sobs. Decades of sadness and grief gushed out of her all at once. Malcolm finally let his own tears fall, as he thought about all of the pain she has endured on her own. He held her while she cried until she ran out of tears. When they parted, her face was red and her eyes were puffy. He hated that the emotion he was seeing from her was such severe sadness, but he was glad that she finally felt safe enough to show it. They both were then drawn to the dog standing before them. Her ears were pinned back, eyes wide, and her tail was wagging nervously. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she hoped she could make it better.

(Y/N) looked at the sweet dog and she let a smile spread across her face. She laid a hand on the dog's head and her voice cracked as she said, "Hello." The dog jumped up and placed her front paws on (Y/N) as she started to lick the tears from (Y/N)'s face. (Y/N) laughed and pet the dog while Malcolm watched, with tears still falling from his eyes.

It took some convincing from Malcolm before (Y/N) finally saw a therapist. She understood that her journey was a long and hard one, but she had Malcolm and Sophie, her faithful companion, to help her along the way.

#so for today's forecast someone got me fucked up fucked UP FUCKED UP #you cry you die challenge #prodigal son #malcolm bright #malcolm x reader #prodigal son imagine #prodigal son fanfic #fanfic #imagine

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thechildoflightning · 5 years

Text

Growing Roots Ch2- Plumule

Title: Growing Roots [Masterpost]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic Prinxiety, background Logicality

~~~

Chapter Title: Plumule- Chapter Two

Summary:

A plant, much like friendship, doesn’t grow in a day. To grow, a plant requires the right nutrients, proper soil conditions, and correct lighting to grow to its full potential. Even with this perfect balance, not every plant makes it. A friendship is much more delicate, and a lot more complex.

Or: How exactly did Roman and Virgil become friends?

Warnings: PTSD, Flashback, Pet Death (past), Assumptions, Aggressive Male, Unsafe Situation, Lack of Consent, Date Rape Drugs (past), Sexual Assault/Abuse/Rape (mentioned)

[ao3 link]

~~~

Plumule- Chapter Two

Roman would be the first to admit that things were not the best between Virgil and him. It was all to clear, but Roman was trying to fix that, okay? He really, really was. The main issue that continuously thwarted Roman’s plans at friendship was that sometimes Virgil would get angry for no reason at all. Roman was doing his best to respect Virgil’s boundaries and what made him uncomfortable, but it was made pretty difficult when Virgil wasn’t willing to share most of those boundaries with him.

At this point, Roman pretty much knew three rules for dealing with Virgil: one- don’t touch Virgil without consent (even for the smallest things like a hand on the shoulder or bumping him gently); two- if Trixie was bugging Virgil, Roman needed to leave them both alone (sometimes Virgil would just take a breath, but other times he would slide to the ground and Trixie would clamor on top of him); three- if Virgil says ‘no’ that’s it, that’s the decision and there would be no arguing it (Virgil would only say no to things that made him uncomfortable and would instead say things like ‘I don’t want to’ or ‘I would prefer’ for things he had no real issue with but still didn’t want to do).

Roman did his best to respect those three rules. The problem was, there were a lot of things that didn’t quite fit into those categories that made it a lot harder for Roman to navigate the treacherous waters of being Virgil’s maybe-sorta-kinda-working on it friend. (Last week Virgil had freaked out over some hot tea. The week before he had requested that Patton didn’t leave out his Anatomy book when he came over).

Roman didn’t get Virgil. But he was trying to. Which made tonight the perfect night, while also the absolute worse.

Tonight was Movie in the Quad. Logan, Patton, Virgil, and Roman himself had all been planning to go. In the end, Patton and Logan canceled last minute, due to the fact that Patton was having a bad pain day. Virgil and Roman had immediately offered to come over instead, so that Patton didn’t have to leave his room. After Logan had prompted him to be honest with what he needed and wanted, Patton had refused their request citing the need for space and rest.

Logan’s insistence at Patton’s honesty made Roman wonder how often Patton had lied about his pain levels and needs before. He vowed to work on being more observant in the future.

Patton had also insisted that Roman and Virgil still go see the movie, since all four of them had been looking forward to it. Considering it was Patton insisting and it was pretty impossible to tell him no, Roman and Virgil had both hesitantly agreed and committed to still going

This was where the chance to get to know Virgil better came in. The problem- Roman and Virgil has never really talked without the presence of Logan and Patton around, making the interaction extremely awkward.

But it was a little too late to back out.

Roman had spread out a blanket early on and sprawled across it. Virgil met up with him a few minutes later, hands fiddling with the short leash on Trixie. He had joined Roman on the blanket, but had elected to sit in the furthest corner away from him. Virgil then had Trixie lie down next to him, and she settled her head in his lap.

If Virgil wasn’t such a grouch, Roman might call it adorable.

So there the two of them were, awkwardly on the same blanket waiting for the movie to start. (Which was looking to be awhile because at first the projector had been too low and then it had a weird tilt and then for some reason the image was flipped upside down and now it didn’t seem to be working at all and they were trying to fix it).

Around them, people chatted to pass the time. Virgil and Roman seemed to be outliers, instead giving each other awkward looks and refusing to talk. Roman decided to make an attempt and go with the less creepy version of the ‘adorable’ thought.

“Trixie’s really cute,” he mentioned.

Virgil’s head jerked up to him, as if completely caught off guard by Roman talking to him.

Come on, it couldn’t be that weird that Roman was instigating conversation between them, right? Roman had started a conversation between the two of them before, hadn’t he?

(He couldn’t remember a single time he had).

“Oh,” Virgil said with a smile, as he looked down at his dog. He petted her a few times and she thumped her tail on the ground. “Yeah, she is pretty cute isn’t she?”

Roman hummed and wondered where to go from there.

Luckily, he didn’t have to figure it out, because Virgil was doing that for him.

“Y’know, she has this one spot on her- Here, just come here for a second, yeah?”

Bits of curious confusion stumbled through Roman’s brain, but he shrugged and did as requested.

Virgil said the word, “Break,” and Trixie’s entire demeanor changed. She didn’t actually do anything different- besides roll onto her side at Virgil’s instruction- but she seemed completely changed. Roman had never seen her seem so much like, well, like a dog before. Which was weird considering she was a dog, but that was the best way he could describe her demeanor in that moment.

“Hand?” Vigil requested, holding his own out.

Roman shrugged, but dropped his hand onto Virgil’s. He noted that the other boys was surprisingly warm. Roman thought he would of ran cold. It just seemed like a Virgil thing. Guess he was wrong.

Virgil placed his hand on Trixie’s lower belly before moving it quickly from side to side, effectively petting Trixie with Roman’s hand.

Instantly, the dog’s hind leg came up to shake and thump, as if scratching herself in mid air.

A surprised laugh escaped Roman and a grin raced across his mouth. Virgil offered his own smile in return. He removed his own hand, and let Roman continue to let her by himself. He continued to do so with dedication, attention completely focused on the dog’s leg.

A minute later, and the abnormal movement stopped.

Roman frowned, admittedly disappointed. Virgil just laughed, rolled his eyes, and moved Roman’s hand slightly, before nodding for him to continue.

Roman did so, and was excited to see Trixie’s behavior return.

When Roman finally got bored, he stopped petting the pup quite as rigorously and moved to give her long stroking pets instead. Her tongue hung out of her mouth and she twisted a bit to move more into her back, her legs suspended in midair.

Virgil rolled eyes at the behavior.

“Yeah, you like that don’t you girl? Yeah, you do. Roman spoils you, huh? Spoils you with all the belly rubs?” he teased her.

Trixie made a little huffing noise and closed her eyes in pure bliss. Virgil laughed. Roman found the sound surprising and nice. Separate adjectives. Not surprisingly nice, surprising and nice. In fact, Roman would have bet money on Virgil’s laugh being adorable.

He blushed and continued to pet Trixie. He accidentally hit the same spot on her lower belly, causing her to kick her hind leg a few times again.

“Yeah, she’s done that since she was a pup. Dolly would do it on occasion, but she wasn’t quite as sensitive or really ever had like, a specific place that would get her to do that. Trix has always had that one spot.”

As Virgil explained, an expression Roman hadn’t seen crossed his face. His smile was sweeter than normal and his voice was soft and fond.

Roman had never seen Virgil nostalgic before. He thought that was maybe what this was.

“Dolly?” he questioned, because he hadn’t recognized that name.

“Yeah, Dolly was my first service dog.”

“You had a service dog before Trixie?” Roman asked, a fair amount of shock coating his words.

He didn’t know why he was shocked. He had thought- well Roman hadn’t known what he had thought. Roman knew Virgil was different. He was pretty sure that Trixie wasn’t for any sort of physical disability or illness or something, which meant that Trixie had to be for something mental.

Roman also knew that service dogs were a pretty serious thing. He knew that. At the same time, he hadn’t ever really taken the time to consider that Virgil having Trixie probably meant something fairly serious. Again, Roman had known something was different about Virgil, but he had also kinda expected- he didn’t even know- Virgil to change or something? To move on? Roman hadn’t really considered that whatever was going on with Virgil would potentially be a lifelong thing. The mention of another service dog made a lot of things click into place.

Roman should not of needed evidence to realize any of this. He should not of needed proof of longer support through a previous service dog. He should not have expected Virgil to change or move on. But he hadn’t known, hadn’t realized. But he knew now. He could respect that. He could change his behavior (again, because Roman could never seem to get it right because he really was that much of an absolute failure at this whole thing and sure he was trying but did that even matter if it didn’t change anything?)

“Yeah,” Virgil said, “Yeah Dolly was actually my first service dog. She uh- she actually just passed away a few months ago.”

“Oh,” Roman said. His hand stilled on Trixie. “Uh, sorry.”

Virgil shrugged and curled in on himself.

“Is what it is,” he offered. His voice was toneless and the sentence dry. Roman felt like he should offer something here. He just wasn’t really sure what.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Virgil sighed and a hand gripping the sleeve of his hoodie came up to wipe at his eyes.

“No,” Virgil said, “No. It’s okay. I’ve- I’ve like, come to terms with it. It’s not a big deal anymore. It’s just… It just makes me sad sometimes.”

“I think I get that,” Roman validated, “My mom- well she was already sick, but she died giving birth to me. I never knew her, y’know? But every once and awhile, I just get, sad about it.”

Virgil nodded in what was probably agreement or understanding.

He opened his mouth to say something more, but just then, there was a loud whoop from the crowd. Both Roman and Virgil’s heads shot up, and they caught sight of the opening credits on the large white screen the school was projecting the movie onto. They got the projector fixed then. Good.

With that, the music started to blare, and Roman and Virgil settled in to watch.

It was about an hour in that Roman had to pee. He got up, and turned to leave, before catching sight of Virgil’s face.

The other boy- who had taken to cuddling with his dog just moments ago- was now half sitting up and gazing after Roman, mouth slightly open.

“Just headed to the bathroom,” Roman remarked.

Virgil hesitated. Trixie shifted slightly, settling her head on one of Virgil’s legs. His gaze moved towards her, before looking back up at Roman.

“Okay,” Virgil said, “See you in a minute.”

Roman nodded and turned to leave, expecting to do exactly that.

He did not see Virgil in a minute, because just as he was headed back across the lawn to rejoin Virgil after using the restroom, he ran into a guy, quite literally.

The guy stumbled a few steps before catching his balance. Roman apologized, half holding a hand out in some attempt at help. The guy’s gaze dropped to it, and seemed to note the rainbow bracelet Roman wore on his wrist.

“It’s alright sweetheart,” the guy slurred a little, and Roman was immediately put off.

The man was obviously more than a little buzzed, which made Roman a bit uneasy in the first place. The second issue was the way that the guy had started eyeing him. Roman wasn’t one to mind being checked out, but something about how this guy did it was just off and made Roman’s skin crawl.

“Hi,” Roman said, voice curt, “Sorry, you’ll have to excuse me, I’m trying to get back to my friend.”

The guy laughed and Roman’s body started to feel a little heavier than normal.

“Noooo,” he whined, “Don’t worry about your friend right now. You’ve got me! And I can be quite good company, if you know what I mean.” He threw in a wink that sent Roman’s stomach rolling.

“Sorry,” Roman insisted, “I really do need to be going.” He turned away, knowing that staying in this situation any longer wouldn’t do him any good.

“Hey!” the guy shouted, and then Roman felt a hand grasping his wrist.

Roman had always been a flirt, he would admit that freely. He enjoyed it, but he also only enjoyed it when it was consensual. Usually that meant that Roman- as the flirtee- would need to make sure that the guy he was flirting with was comfortable with said flirting.

In this case, the tables were turned, and this guy certainly didn’t seem to care about Roman’s comfort levels or consent. This wasn’t flirting or showing interest. This was being inappropriate, and creepy, and borderline dangerous.

“Please let me go.”

His voice came out as a whisper, and he was- quite frankly- disappointed in himself, even if he wasn’t the one that should be feeling any shame in that moment.

“C’mon, at least tell me your name, pretty thing. Don’t I deserve that at the very least?” the guy asked. His gaze was unfocused, but stiff as steel, and it was then Roman regret not taking a single self-defense course in his life. The man might have been drunk, but he had a firm grip on Roman’s wrist, and he was much bigger and stronger than Roman. Roman was tall but had never been extremely athletic. He had never regretted it until now.

“Come on, honey,” the stranger cooed, “Your name?”

Roman didn’t know what to do.

“Let go of him,” a new voice demanded, stepping into the fray. Roman blinked a few times because- because it was Virgil.

“No need to worry,” the creeper purred, turning his attention to Virgil, “Everything’s fine here, right darling?” He shot an expectant gaze towards Roman.

“Let go of me,” Roman insisted once more.

The man didn’t.

“You heard him,” Virgil said.

“And if I don’t?” The guy asked, sizing Virgil up. If Roman was smaller than this guy, than Virgil was tiny compared to them; this guy would overpower him in a heartbeat. The guy seemed to know it as well because his grip didn’t loosen and his smile refused to drop.

“You don’t want to find out,” Virgil threatened.

The guy then had the gall to laugh, which was the exact moment numerous things happen.

With the lack of focus on him, Roman was able to twist away from the man and free his arm. At almost the exact same time, Virgil planted himself firmly between Roman and the stranger and threw a well-aimed punch, setting him stumbling back a few paces in surprise. As he did so, Virgil yelled one singular word as loud as he could.

“FIRE!” he screeched.

Everyone turned to look their way, muttering voices looking for the danger. The man, who had recovered from Virgil’s shove, stopped in his pursuit back towards him as over a hundred eyes turned to stare at them. He scowled and stalked away. People also started to glance away, now eased by the knowledge that was definitely no fire. Roman wasn’t even sure if any of them had noticed what had happened.

Speaking of…

“Hey, uh, thanks,” Roman offered, turning back towards Virgil.

Virgil nodded, and Roman realized he was shaking. It was then he realized he was also shaking.

After what seemed to be only a moment later, they were back in Roman’s dorm. Roman knew it had to have been more than a moment but the only thing he could remember was Virgil and him looking at each other and now he was opening his door with his key.

The instant it opened, the two of them plus dog stumbled inside. Roman fell onto his bed, Virgil at his desk.

Roman couldn’t believe what just happened. What had happened? What was going on?

(He was still shaking).

He took a breath, and everything started to fit back into place. He took another and the world slid back into focus. He took a third and he was okay.

He was okay. He was going to be okay.

Thanks to Virgil.

Roman looked up, planning to thank him again now that the situation had calmed down exponentially and Roman wasn’t freaking out quite as much anymore, the adrenaline fading away. He expected Virgil to be in about the same mental state as he was in, but when he caught a glance of him, it was very clear that he was not.

Virgil was crying. Loud, ugly, wheezing, thick crying. Tears and snot and fluids covering his face. Trixie was draped across his lap in his seated position. He didn’t seem to notice her and then he began to scream. Loudly.

Roman winced and fought the urge to cover his ears. He was loud.

Virgil was screaming and crying and he was huddled in on himself and Trixie was trying to stay on top of him but it was hard when Virgil was curling up into a ball.

Roman didn’t know what to do.

He never knew what to do.

“Virgil,” he called cautiously.

The boy didn’t respond. He wasn’t quite screaming anymore, but he was loudly begging. For what Roman couldn’t quite be sure because Virgil kept cutting himself off and slurring his words and talking over himself.

Roman knew a pleading tone when he heard one. This went a step further.

Roman hesitated, before getting up and took a step forward, trying to be of some assistance.

Virgil flinched backward violently and Trixie stepped in between them. Virgil also stopped his pleading and turned instead to apologizing.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” the boy whimpered, “I’ll do better. I promise! Just please don’t hurt me. I’m sorry.”

Roman’s heart thudded because those words suggested things he wasn’t quite ready for. He took a step back, hoping that would help.

It didn’t. Virgil continued to apologize. His volume did lower, but Roman had no idea if that was a good thing or not.

Trixie returned to his side and tried to nuzzle apart his hands that had been gripping onto his opposite upper arms.

Roman didn’t know what to do, but trying to help didn’t work, so he decided to wait it out. (Virgil would be okay in a little bit, right? He had to be. Because if he wasn’t, well Roman wasn’t sure what to do next. Should he call someone? A doctor? 911?)

He should call someone, he realized, and he knew who to call as well.

The phone rang twice before a familiar voice picked up.

“Roman. Why are you calling?”

“Hey Specs, so Emo Nightmare’s freaking out and I don’t know what the hell to do,” he blurted out instantly.

If anyone would have a solution, it would have to be Logan, right?

“Okay,” he replied, “What do you mean by freaking out? Also, if you don’t know what to do, you should probably learn.”

“I am trying to learn,” Roman insisted. He ignored the rest of Logan’s words, working on the second half first because that was the part that had stung some place deep inside of him, so it was the part he was going to focus on, “That’s why I called you. I thought you would know what to do.”

“I know you’re trying. I wasn’t suggest that you weren’t, and I apologize if that’s how it came off as. That was not my intention Roman.”

Roman shifted, cast a gaze back at Virgil who was still giving pleading apologies.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“I can try to help. What’s going on?”

“He’s- he’s. I don’t even know. He’s not looking at me and doesn’t seem to even realize I’m here. He’s curled up in a corner and apologizing and asking to not be hurt. I tried approaching him but that made it worse.”

“Is Trixie with him?”

“Yeah?”

“What is she doing?”

“Uh, at first she tried to like, sorta jump and lay on top of him? And then when I tried to approach him she stood in front of him. I backed away and she went back to him and was nudging his arms. He’s curled up, so she can’t lay on him anymore, but she is pawing and nudging him.”

“Okay. I think Virgil’s having a flashback.”

“A flashback?”

“Yes- a flashback is a disturbing immersive memory that can cause extreme panic while seeming completely real and current to the person experiencing it,” Logan rattled off.

“No, no, Logan I know what a flashback is I just don’t know why Virgil is having one.”

“Well they can happen to anyone that experiences a distressing enough experience, but is often common in those who have dealt with intense trauma or have PTSD.”

“Yeah but Virgil hasn’t- I mean, Virgil?”

“I couldn’t tell you which category Virgil falls into, but I probably could form an educated guess, though that is not important right now. The important thing is that he is having a flashback.”

Which he still was. Roman was expecting this whole phone conversation to much quicker and for this situation to be much easier.

“Okay so what do I do?”

“Was there a triggering incident?”

“A what?” Roman asked.

“A triggering incident,” Logan repeated, “Something that may have been a catalyst for Virgil’s current state.”

“Uh, I mean yeah,” Roman said. Because they clearly had been. A guy had gotten handsy and aggressive with Roman in a situation that implied-

Holy shit had Virgil been in a situation like that before? Was that why he was freaking out? Had Virgil been- had Virgil been assaulted before? Had he been sexually abused? Raped?

More and more suggestions filled Roman’s head, each one as unpleasant as the last.

It would explain his fear and apologies. It would also explain why he freaked out when Roman got closer. It explained the dog at his side. It explained almost everything.

“Okay, well if you can identify the trigger, you need to remove it if it hasn’t already been removed. From there you need to approach the flashback with that trigger in mind. Try to avoid triggering Virgil again. That can help stop the progression of the flashback. To actually help soothe or stop the flashback, Virgil will need to be grounded in reality. Grounding techniques like reminders of the present and breathing exercises can help immensely. I can send you a few things, give me a minute.”

Roman held his breath.

Virgil continued to cry and apologize and how long had he been doing that now? It had to have been a long time now. Jeez, what had Virgil been through?

Roman’s phone buzzed a second later. He pulled it away from his ear and looked down to see a text from Logan. He pressed the phone back to his ear and promised to check it in a minute.

“I suggest starting with one of those. If it doesn’t help, or if you feel like you need more assistance, call me back. I can come over if you need me to. I also sent over crisis lines if things get worse for any reason. In most cases I would recommended calling one of those lines before calling the police or similar services. The police can be- well they aren’t exactly trained in this area and might not be able to help Virgil. Plus, they make assumptions, and Roman you are a Muslim man with a white-passing guy panicking in your dorm room.”

“Yeah got it, no police. But, uh what do you mean if things get worse?”

“If things get too much for you to handle. If Virgil severely injures himself. If he passes out and doesn’t immediately regain consciousness. If he gets violent due to a perceived threat. If you at any point feel threatened or that harm could come to you. If things get unsafe, then you need to call one of the lines, okay? Some have different purposes, read what they’re for.”

“Okay,” Roman agreed, “Okay. I’m gonna try and help Virgil now.”

“Sounds good,” Logan said.

“Okay, okay bye.”

“Bye, Roman.”

“...Thanks.”

“You are welcome.”

The line went dead.

Roman sighed, and checked the massive text Logan had sent, scrolling through it.

Virgil let out a loud gasp and continued to cry in the corner. The muttering has gone down somewhat but he still seemed largely unaware of his surroundings.

Roman clicked one of the links that looked promising. Here went nothing.

“Uh, Virgil?” he said.

The boy looked towards him for a second before glancing back towards the floor, eyes distant and chest heaving. But it was recognition, which was more than Roman had gotten so far.

“Hey uh, can you do me a favor? I think, I think it might help you.”

Virgil’s mouth moved. At first Roman thought it was a response to his question, but then he realized that the boy had just taken to muttering his apologies under his breath instead of out loud.

“Uh,” Roman said. Should he still do it? Roman was sure if Virgil would be able to do it considering it didn’t really seem exactly here. But Roman had to try something. “Uh,” he repeated, “Uh can you, Virgil can you name five- is it five?” He checked his phone. “Yeah five things you see?”

What was this bullshit? Five things Virgil saw? How was that supposed to help. Especially when he seemed to not even be aware of where he was or what he was doing. Who came up with this shit?

“Floor,” a voice mumbled, “Dog… Bed. Desk… Person.”

Roman blinked. That was five things. Virgil had just listed five things. Was this working?

“Uh, four things you can touch?” Roman asked, after reviewing the article on his phone.

“Jacket,” Virgil started. He shifted his hand, letting it fall onto Trixie. “Trixie.” He let his hand travel further down her back. “Trixie’s vest.” He reached up to touch his own face. “Tears.”

It was working. Virgil still didn’t seem well and he was still crying, but it was a definite step forward from whimpering like a wounded animal. Roman couldn’t believe that this was working.

“Yeah. Uh that’s really good Virgil. Three things, three things you can hear?”

Virgil completed the next task, and together they worked their way down to one. When they did reach one, Virgil’s eyes were much more clear.

“Welcome back,” Roman offered.

For the first time since all of this had begun, Virgil met Roman’s eyes. His face instantly dropped.

“Are you okay?” Virgil’s voice was desperate and demanding.

“Am I okay?” Roman asked incredulously, “What about you?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil insisted, “but uh- I only got there after he grabbed you. Are you- Roman I- Did- Are you okay?”

“Nothing happened,” Roman was quick to confirm, even as his heart thudded harshly is his chest, “I’m fine.” (Something could of happened, he realized, it could have been way worse, and that was a frankly terrifying thought).

Virgil frowned, not believing the rather obvious lie. Which Roman thought was totally unfair because Virgil had said he was fine and Roman was letting him get away with it.

“Roman- You- It’s okay to not be fine after something like that. Even if nothing happened.”

“I was roofied last year,” Roman blurted out, “Theater party. And well,” Roman pointed to himself, “Muslim. Drinking is haram. I don’t do it. So I noticed pretty quick. I- Uh- well I told a friend and he took me home and called my parents. They were out of town so he then also stayed with me the entire time. To make sure I was okay and safe. But things could have been a lot worse. Things tonight could of been a lot worse.”

Virgil nodded, showing zero signs of disagreement. Roman hadn’t been expecting Virgil to disagree, but in a selfish way Roman wished he would have. Because maybe if Virgil told him nothing would have happened and he would have been fine Roman would start to believe it himself.

“Are you okay? Actually?” Roman asked. If Virgil wasn’t going to deal with Roman’s bullshit answer, Roman wasn’t going to accept Virgil’s.

“I will be,” Virgil promised. He hesitates and shoving his hands into his dog’s fur, gripping it softly. “I- I have PTSD. So I- I uh, get flashbacks once in a while and stuff.”

“Oh.”

“Uh yeah,” Virgil said. He then stood, hands tightly gripping the short leash that was attached to Trixie’s vest. “It’s uh late. I should- I should probably go.” Virgil shifted from foot to foot and cast his gaze down.

At the thought of Virgil leaving, Roman’s heart twisted into a knot. From fear, Roman realized. He was afraid. He was afraid to be alone.

Something must have shown on his face, as Virgil spoke back up.

“Or- Uh- I, if you really want I could stay?” He offered.

Roman wasn’t sure why he offered, considering Virgil very obviously did not want to stay. He was probably just being polite.

“No no, I’m fine,” Roman promised, because he wasn’t about to make Virgil do something for him that he didn’t want to do. He wouldn’t waste Virgil’s time an energy like that, especially when Virgil had already done so much for him. “Go back to your dorm. I’ll be fine.”

Virgil hesitated.

“I’m serious,” Roman insisted, “go.”

Virgil hesitated once more, but nodded and left. Roman hadn’t expected any different. Roman didn’t expect Virgil to actually care about him. They weren’t even friends yet, even If Roman was trying.

Roman didn’t sleep that night.

Taglist Below

-message me to be added or removed-

@mewithanie @eddies-spaghetti @lemonyellowlogic @savioursailor @goldteethandacurseforthistown

#ts roman #ts virgil #ts logan #ts patton #sanders sides #ts sides #flashback #fluff #hurt/comfort #hurt #angst #ptsd #mywriting #my writing #ao3 #fan fiction #fanfiction #colao3update #colupdate

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likesomekindofcheese · 4 years

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Hello! I saw that you were doing ships and I'm interested if they're still open? If so, could I please get ships for The Beatles, Queen and Bohrap? I will be sending a few of these to give a full description so I'm sorry for the spam! I never exactly know what to put in these! So, My name is Jasmine, I'm Australian and I speak English, German, Czech (Gotta love family that doesn't speak English..) and Japanese. I've always been considered the 'artsy' person among my peers. (1/5)

I'm usually rather quiet at first, often the person just sitting in the back and drawing. The main exception of this being if I'm performing, wearing a fashion I love or doing a hobby of mine. I love the arts and have always been a big creative type. I will admit, I'm quite passive/submissive and very indecisive. I'm also kind of insecure. I tend to do whatever I can to make my friends happy due to negative experiences in the past. Also because I love doing things for people (2/5)

I'm 5'7" and pale, I have hair that reaches past my waist and is naturally a honey blonde in colour, I sometimes dye it magenta. My eyes are a blue/green colour and for some issue, one tends dilate more than the other, I have an hourglass body and because of that, I do have some cuves on me. I also have a slight overbite (which got "fixed" with braces). In terms of clothing, I love wearing alt fashion such as Lolita fashion, Cult Party Kei, and my own style which is quite doll-like. (3/5)

For my job, I'm currently studying Primary Teaching and Drama in University and a few years ago in Highschool, I began work as a Professional Mermaid and Princess for hire, as well as working part time in an OSHC. I love the water and I've been an actor since I was a child, For hobbies I love to Draw, Make accessories/clothes/costumes, Cosplay and I'm also a trained Singer, Dancer and Aerialist. (My mum always said " if you want to do something, do it while you're young") (4/5)

I'm actually a Pagan and practise White magick and am starting to learn Green magick, my deities are Poseiodon, Persephone and Aphrodite. Unfortuntely, I also live with a few physical and mental issues such as Endometriosis and Chronic Fatigue, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Dress Disorder as well as being Photosensitive. So that can sometimes make certain things hard for me, but we get past that! I tend to easily befriend all Cats and Birds I meet. Sorry this was so long, I suck at this (5/5)

Of course I can! You seem like such a cool, fascinating person with an incredible life and abilities!! 😯🤩 and don’t worry about giving extra info, I don’t mind.

For the Beatles, I ship you with...

Paul McCartney!

So with your pale skin and dyed hair, Paul basically thinks you are a princess

So when you get your mermaid job, Paul loves to tease you, but he also takes cute little photos and lovingly calls you “me siren!”

Even though he will lightly tease you for your Australian accent, but you tease him back for his Liverpool one!

He loves animals, so he always notices how his sheepdog, Martha, wags her tail and even wiggles on her feet like a tap dancer for you when you come in to visit her. He adores that even animals know they can love you are trust you.

You both often go wining and dining, especially in your beautiful Lolita style dress, enjoying the food, atmosphere, and each other’s company.

Though the first time you went to one of those fancy places, you were intimidated by the menu that was twice the size of your head and half the items were in French. “Paul, what should I get here? I’m not even sure!” “Would you like me to choose for you, Jasmine?” “Please!”

He ordered you a nice dish and you both had a drink and then went walking out in the moonlight, opening up about each other’s souls and insecurities but holding hands and assuring each other’s worth.

Since you are a more quiet, “submissive”’person, Paul loves it when he can “baby” you and take care of you, as much as helping you with your hair and outfits and plenty of times he will order for you at restaurants.

He even made you flashcards and notes to help with University, though sometimes you caught him doodling on your name full of hearts.

He probably composed “And I Love Her” for you if you ever felt sad or insecure

For Queen, I ship you with...

Brian May!!

He loves that you are a bit taller than most, even if he is technically taller, it means he doesn’t have to do a squat to hug you.

He is amazed at your creativity and multiple hobbies! He even loves watching you fly up in arealist in the air, he even took a beautiful stereoscopic photo of you!

When he decides to flirt with you at first, he noticed you were back there drawing so he went over and asked about your art and you showed him and you both were soon smiling and subtly flirting with each other.

He was nervous about asking you out until the whole band pushed him to, they all shipped it from day one.

He loves to hear you sing and he enjoys hearing you practice from upstairs, sometimes he will slowly pluck your notes on a guitar until he gets a song idea. Then he will run up to give you a hug and kiss as a thanks (despite your confusion)

He loves that you know all those languages and begs you to go on tour with him to help translate (and see things like Japenese cherry blossoms and German castles together linking arms).

He makes little lovey comments related to your pagan beliefs

“Jasmine, you bewitch me!” “Well, I didn’t intend to!”

“Jasmine, you’re a goddess of beauty”

“Don’t let Aphrodite hear you! You’ll be in trouble, Bri!” “Not if it’s the truth, sweetheart”

And he understands your PTSD and anxiety and helps to make sure you have counseling, and always leans in with a glass of water and a patient, listening ear

As for BohRap, I ship you with...

Rami Malek!!!

He thinks you are an absolute doll, from your eyes to your figure and calls you it all the time!

Plus you are both the most fashionable couple ever and when there is a premiere and he brings you along, you both grin at each other as the media looks at you both, shooketh to the coreth.

He is so sweet and understanding of your acting life that he comes to all of your premiering shows in the front row with a bouquet of flowers so big it needs it’s own seat. Plus he loves to help you think through characterization with auditions and rehearsals.

He loves to notice how you make beautiful costumes and things and if you need something like fabric or a certain color of paint, he runs and grabs it.

You both paid up when the BohRap cast has a board game night and defeat everyone through teamwork, until you both laugh and kiss each other.

He loves to learn bits of phrases of German and Japenese from you, and he brags about your abilities in interviews.

Gladly flips off anyone who gives you crap about your overbite and is always protective of you, with an arm around your waist.

He admires your strength and determination in spite of your physical and mental problems, it gives him hope to go on.

And he understands anxiety, so he will gladly cuddle you and help you with breathing deep when you’re anxious.

You both have a busy life together, but then you both snuggle into bed, giggling and playing footsie and gently touching each other’s faces.

#carrieships #queen ships #beatles #beatles ships #bohrap ships

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bloojayoolie · 5 years

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Being Alone, Animals, and Apparently: Ruby Wiggly, sweet, affectionate, playful & friendly lovebug. A family pet who loves toys, giving kisses, & children. Id 70449, 6 Yrs. 55 lbs . ,Spayed & dreaming of a family, at Brooklyn ACC TO BE KILLED – 8/22/2019 "Tree you are, / Moss you are, / You are violets with wind above them. / A child - so high - you are, / And all this is folly to the world." - A Girl, Ezra Pound She is wiggly, sweet, affectionate, playful, absolutely adorable and people pleasing perfection. Ruby is incredibly endearing, soft, loving and she was a family pet who lived with 2 young children she adored and 2 other dogs who were her “pack.” Respectful, relaxed, and playful with all she adored her life and her family, and along with her sibling dogs, her life was complete. But her parents were absolutely negligent to the extreme in protecting their pups from escaping the yard and getting into mischief, and RUBY and her best friend and sister Sapphire would go on grand adventures that invariably would end in heartache. And now these perfect family pets are on the list to die – yes, both of them, because of the failure of their parents to secure their property and pups. The children are crying over the loss of their pets, and Ruby and Sapphire can’t imagine what they did to deserve this imprisonment. Ruby is a gem of a pup, she just did what any of our own dogs would do -- protect her kingdom from intruding dogs who were not part of her pack. She deserves a loving family, a competent family, an experienced foster or adopter who will keep her safe and confined to her own yard and home. If you can give her a safe place to land, please hurry and message our page or email us at [email protected] for assistance fostering or adopting her now. Don’t let this precious girl die. Ruby is spayed and ready to go. RUBY, ID# 70449, 6 Yrs. old, 55.8 lbs., Spayed Female Brooklyn ACC, Large Mixed Breed, Brown Brindle / White Surrender Reason: Behavior – doesn’t like other animals Shelter Assessment Rating: New Hope Rescue Only Medical Behavior Rating: 2. Blue I came to the shelter with my sister Sapphire, Id 70450 (also on the list to die): https://ift.tt/2z7Y6VV AT RISK MEMO: Although she displays social behavior when interacting with staff members, Ruby has been observed to exhibit mild handling sensitivity during her interactions where she attempts to move away from handlers with exuberant contact. Due to these observations, as well as her multiple-bite history toward other dogs, we feel she would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner who can help manage these behaviors and decompress in a more stable environment, prior to permanent placement in an adult-only home. There are stipulations with placement. There are no medical concerns at this time. INTAKE NOTE – DATE OF INTAKE, 7/26/2019: Ruby had a soft and wiggly body during intake and ran up to the counselor right away and began to jump on the counselors lap and give kisses. Counselor was able to scan for a microchip, collar and take a picture without any issues. OWNER SURRENDER NOTES – BASIC INFORMATION: Ruby is a 6 year old spayed female that has no current medical concerns that the owner is aware of. Owner had Ruby in the home since she was born but had to surrender due to behavior. Ruby lived with 2 adults, 2 children, and 2 other dogs. When a stranger would come to the owners home, Ruby was friendly and outgoing. She will solicit attention by jumping on the person and giving kisses. Ruby lived with 2 children ages 4 and 6 and was always respectful and playful with the children in the home. Ruby lived with other female dogs (same size), 1 female was spayed and 1 unaltered, and was respectful around the other 2 dogs. Owner stated that she would sometimes get into a scuffle with the her litter mate but never ever bit hard enough to break skin. Ruby has never been around a cat so behavior is unknown. Ruby is not bothered if someone approaches her food, treats or toys. She is housetrained and has a high energy level. Ruby has a bite history (dog to dog) with the most recent bite being 2 weeks ago on 7/12/19. Other Notes: Ruby is not bothered when someone would hold Ruby or restrain her, being pushed off furniture, being disturbed while sleeping, being given a bath, having her paws touched or when an unfamiliar person would come to the owners home. She has never had any medical issues and has no known medical concerns. For a New Family to Know: Ruby is described as friendly, affectionate and playful with a high activity level. She likes to play with all types of toys. In the home, Ruby liked to stay in her favorite spot or snuggle with the owner. She was fed dry food only brand Wellness. She was kept both indoor/outdoor and is house trained. When left alone in the home, she would go through the garbage. Ruby knows the cues sit, come, stay , down and paw. For exercise, she was let out in the yard to play. When on leash, she tends to pull lightly. Owner has never walked her off leash so behavior is unknown. Bite history: 7/12/19: Previous owner reported Ruby and Sapphire to have had a recent bite incident with a neighbor's dog that was being walked on-leash. Ruby and Sapphire were observed to escape from the backyard and began hard barking as they ran toward the neighbor's small dog and one of them bit her on the stomach. This bite resulted in two punctures and the neighbor's dog was rushed to the emergency vet to seek treatment for the wounds. 5/10/15: Previous owner reported Ruby and Sapphire to have had a bite incident with a neighbor's dog. Ruby and Sapphire were observed to escape from the backyard and began hard barking and growling as they ran toward the neighbor's dog and one of them bit her on the neck. This bite resulted in multiple punctures and the neighbor's dog was rushed to the emergency vet to seek treatment and ultimately euthanized as a result of the severity of the wounds. SHELTER ASSESSMENT SUMMARIES: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Mild-moderate pulling Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Soft and loose, tail wagging, approaches readily, jumps up onto desk, stays near handler, accepts contact, some panting, jumps up onto handler softly soliciting attention, readily accepts treats softly Call over: Approaches readily, moves away; Approaches again, with coaxing Sociability comments: Handling Soft handling: Neutral body, tail high and wagging, some displacement (sniffing shoes), panting, ears erect, moves away somewhat with contact, lip licking, accepts contact Exuberant handling: Neutral body, tail high and wagging, lip licking, moves away with contact Handling comments: Arousal Jog: Engages in play with handler, soft and loose; Jumps up, tail wagging, panting, does not escalate Arousal comments: Knock Knock Comments: No response to knock; Approaches readily, soft and loose, tail wagging when assistant enters Toy Toy comments: Minimal interest; Distracted by assess-a-hand PLAYGROUP NOTES – DOG TO DOG SUMMARIES: According to Ruby's owner, she lived with other female dogs (same size). 1 female was spayed and 1 unaltered and was respectful around the other 2 dogs. The owner stated that she would sometimes get into a scuffle with her littermate but never bit hard enough to break the skin. The owner also reported that Ruby and her sibling has escaped the yard twice in the last 5 years and both times Ruby has bitten another dog causing puncture wounds. The other animal had to be rushed to an emergency vet for treatment. 7/27: Due to Ruby's potential legal hold status, only a gate greet was conducted with a novel male dog. She approaches the male at the with a tense body but is hesitant to greet. FUN FACT: Ruby understands the cues for "sit," "come," "down" and "paw." INTAKE BEHAVIOR - Date of intake:: 7/26/2019 Summary:: Soft and wiggly, approached readily, jumped up, licked staff; Allowed all handling MEDICAL BEHAVIOR - Date of initial:: 7/26/2019 Summary:: Somewhat timid, friendly; Allowed all handling ENERGY LEVEL:: Ruby has been observed to exhibit a medium level of energy during her interactions in the care center. We cannot be certain of her behavior in a home environment, but we recommend that she be provided daily mental and physical stimulation as an outlet for her energy. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children (under 13): Due to Ruby's reported bite history and observed handling sensitivity, we feel she would be best set up to succeed in an adult-only home at this time. Place with a New Hope partner: Although she displays social behavior when interacting with staff members, Ruby has been observed to exhibit mild handling sensitivity during her interactions where she attempts to move away from handlers with exuberant contact. Due to these observations, as well as her multiple-bite history toward other dogs, we feel she would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner who can help manage these behaviors and decompress in a more stable environment, prior to permanent placement in an adult-only home. Force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing or exposing Ruby to new and unfamiliar situations, as well as utilizing guidance from a qualified, professional trainer/behaviorist. Potential challenges: : Handling/touch sensitivity,Bite history (dog) Potential challenges comments:: Handling sensitivity: Ruby exhibits some handling sensitivity during her interactions where she has been observed to become tense, head whip and move away from handlers when uncomfortable. Although she continues to display social behavior and has not been observed to escalate, Ruby should never be forced to interact or approach if she is not comfortable and force-free, reward based training only is advised when handling her. Please refer to the handout for Handling/touch sensitivity. Bite history (dog): Ruby has been reported by her previous owner to have had two bite incidents with two different dogs. Both incidents occurred when both Ruby and Sapphire (70450) had escaped from the yard and bit a neighbor's dog, resulting in multiple punctures. (SEE BITE HISTORY). Please refer to the handout for Bite history (dog). MEDICAL NOTES 7/26/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 6y Microchip noted on Intake? yes History : owner surrender Subjective: BARH, good appetite, no elimination concerns Observed Behavior - allowed all handling, mildly timid but friendly when interacted with Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective P = wnl R = wnl BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears AU mild erythema, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: adult dentition, mild attrition PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: female spayed, scar noted, no leakage or discharge MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: visually normal Assessment otitis ext - suspect allergies Prognosis: excellent Plan: ok for adoption tresaderm 4 drops AU BID until 8/1 rec derm consult with placement SURGERY: spayed 8/1/2019 Progress exam History: Intake 7/26/19: Owner surrender, noted otitis externa. Started tresaderm. Today, 8/1: Recheck otitis Subjective: BAR, no coughing/sneezing/vomiting/diarrhea. No pruritus or discomfort noted by ACS or behavior staff. Objective: Cageside exam performed. Eyes: Clear bilaterally, no discharge Nasal Cavity: No nasal discharge. Lungs: Eupneic Musculoskeletal: Ambulatory x 4 with no appreciable lameness. Integument: Unremarkable haircoat. Neuro: Appropriate mentation. Assessment: -Otitis externa (resolved) Prognosis: Good Plan: -Okay to d/c tresaderm -Recommend dermatology consult with placement 8/15/2019 Progress exam-longterm stay History : Intake 7/26/19-otitis externa, started on tresaderm Subjective: BARH. No csvd. Some whale eyes, head shy Objective P = wnl R = wnl BCS = 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: clean adult dentition, no oral lesions PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: FS, no MGTs, no vulvar d/c MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment: Apparently healthy Prognosis: Excellent Plan: CTM while at BACC *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** RUBY IS RESCUE ONLY. You must fill out applications with New Hope Rescues to foster or adopt her. She cannot be reserved online at the ACC ARL, nor can she be direct adopted at the shelter. PLEASE HURRY AND MESSAGE OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE!

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Being Alone #Animals

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moderndaymama · 5 years

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let’s talk about postpartum care

This is probably going to be all over the place because this is an extremely important topic to me. I want to start this post off with a question, why is it that the moment we give birth, we are no longer of any concern to our doctors and family? We just spent 10 damn months creating life and having our bodies completely rearranged from the inside out to protect and deliver this new life and then BAM, we no longer matter. How does society expect us women to go through the most traumatic experience of our lives and then magically be this kind, nurturing human being, meanwhile our entire uterus is purging itself and our poor vaginas are screaming at us. It’s honestly despicable that we get so used to going to our OB’s and having our health be of utmost importance, then once we have our babies we get slapped with the whole “Alright, see ya in 6 weeks unless you start dropping clots the size of your newborn or have a fever so hot you could cook an egg on your forehead”. Never mind the fact that our vaginas are stitched like crazy or that our bodies are going through shock from giving birth and don’t even get me started on the damn hemorrhoids that now hang to your knees.

I remember laying on what was essentially a dog potty mat for over an hour after I had E before my mom, not my nurses or doctors, but MY MOM finally changed it because she realized how long I had been sitting in my own waste. I had the epidural still stuck in my spine for over an hour after birth, even though it hadn’t been on in over three hours, and had to beg a random nurse to take it out because the pain was killing me. By the end of our stay at the hospital I felt as if I wasn’t even human anymore because of the lack of concern I received from the medical staff, regardless of the fact that I just birthed a whole ass human being. If it weren’t for my mother and husband, I would’ve withered away for sure.

Had I known then what I know now about the postpartum care I’d be receiving, I would be a thousand times more demanding in my aftercare and would’ve advocated for myself a lot more than I thought was necessary. For those new moms to be reading, PLEASE speak up anytime you’re feeling under cared for or neglected. The medical staff is there to care for you as well as that precious new baby, they are there to help you heal physically as well as mentally. If you feel like your nurse is not contributing to your birth in a helpful way, request a new one. If you feel like something is wrong, speak up. You are 100% in control of your care and no one should make you feel otherwise. Getting the proper postpartum care while you’re in the hospital is vital to be able to heal once you’re home and on your own.

A lot of women feel pressured by family and friends to be up for visits 24/7 and the constant bombardment of texts and calls, this is bullshit. You should NOT feel guilty / required to be around a bunch of random ass people while you’re bleeding out your hoohah, PERIOD. I was extremely adamant on who could and could not come to the hospital and when they could come and this was probably the best thing I did for my sanity. Having a parade of people in and out all day while you’re learning to breastfeed, if you choose to, and dealing with a baby who is pissed off they’re not still cozy in your uterus, is not something you’d want to put up with. People are gross and never know when they’ve overstayed their welcome, so it’s 100% okay to not want people all up in your business for an unnecessary amount of time. I was extremely stingy with how long I would let people hold E because I wanted her all to myself. It was hard enough for me to give her to her father to hold, so of course I wasn’t going to be over the moon to let everyone else hold her for hours on end.

If I was going to have a second child, which I am not, I would be a perceived as an absolute bitch to just about everyone because I would advocate so hard for myself the second time around. The whole six week waiting period before you see your doctors again is absolute bullshit. I chipped my tailbone during birth and had no clue till six weeks later, which by that point was past the time frame to fix it before it healed wrong, so now I’m cursed to a life of sitting on cushioned seats only. I had absolutely no clue that the numbing pain in my tailbone was from breaking my ass. I genuinely thought that was just how you felt after having a baby, so you could imagine my shock and frustration that no one told me I had a chipped tail bones in the six weeks before my postpartum check up. The amount of issues that could develop before your six week appointment is terrifying and it’s disgusting that no one is more concerned about this. Everyone remembers the postpartum depression questionnaire they hand you before you’re released from the hospital and the whole “call your doctor if you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby”, but no one goes through the whole spectrum of postpartum depression and anxiety with you. I plan to go into PPD and PPA in a separate blog post because of the amount of information I want to go over, but I just wanted to bring that into this post because of the importance. Mental health is just as important as physical health when it comes to postpartum care, mainly because you cannot take care of a newborn if you’re not mentally okay. The amount of attention needed to keep that baby alive and calm requires a healthy mom, which we all know.

I’m going to end this post here because I know I’ll make another post touching base on this topic, but with that being said I want to say YOU MATTER. Your physical and mental health matter just as much as your child’s.

#moderndaymama

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bunnythemonsterlayer · 6 years

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The White Rabbit

Because I have been dragged back into WATCHMEN fandom Hell and @social-justice-waterbender wanted it, I dug up the corpse of my vigilante’s profile I wrote up almost 10 years ago for a WATCHMEN AU and edited it so the timeline worked and actually made some lick of sense.

If anyone has further questions about her they can totally ask but here’s the jest of what was in the document I found all prettied up. Enjoy

General

Identity: Alice Darlene Early

Alias: The White Rabbit

Years in Service: 1966 – 1977, 1985

Born: September 12, 1945

Died: November 2, 1985

Relatives: Ernest Early (father, deceased) and Cynthia Grant (mother)

Affiliation: Former Crimebusters member

Base of Operations: New York City

Status

Alignment: Good

Identity: Secret

Citizenship: American

Marital Status: Single

Occupation: Former waitress at Mr. Charles's Diner, Saboteur

Characteristics

Gender: Female

Height: 5'8”

Weight: 150 lb

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Black

Race: Mulatto

Origin

Universe: WATCHMEN AU

Place of Birth: San Fransisco, California

Place of Death: Antarctica

Skills: Acrobatics (Gymnastics), Martial Arts (Defensive, Fall Recovery) Charisma (Morale Boosting), Mechanics (Fix-it, Disassembly), Thievery, Medical Knowledge (Basic First Aid), Acting

Advantages: Loyal, Quick Reflexes, High Stamina, Determined, Privileged Upbringing

Disadvantages: Impulsive, Emotional, Stubborn, Insecure, Attention Hungry, Secretive

Equipment: Pocket Watch, Trackers (2), Flash Grenade (1), Steel “Toed” Boots, Blast Resistant Visor, Audio Scrambler

Motivation: Upholding the Good/Thrill Seeking/Self Validation

Background

Born in San Francisco, California, Alice moved to New York in 1962 at the age of seventeen in the hopes of finding a place where she could get a different perspective on life and make something more of herself. After years of civilian living unable to think of an effective way to achieve her goal of self fulfillment, she made the decision to become a vigilante, using information she would overhear from customers she waited on during her job as a waitress. She teamed up with Rorschach and Night Owl II in 1966 after they begrudgingly allowed her to stay due to her constantly showing up and 'helping' them.

Outside of her vigilante lifestyle she had no contact with any of the other Crimebusters, only finding out their identities later after the Keene Act with the exception of Rorschach till his arrest in 1985. She did not reach out to any of them and as a result is the only vigilante to stay completely anonymous after her forced retirement.

Character

Alice is subdued and even headed compared to her vigilante counterpart. She treats people the way she wishes to be treated, believing that such behavior will prompt others to treat her the same way, even going so far as to give them the benefit of the doubt should they wrong her the first couple of times. Her reasoning being that everything is gradual and to expect things to instantly change is ignorant and foolhardy.

Being so far from home and often feeling alone, Alice will subtly cling to people she has regular contact with. Usually by catering to their needs and going out of her way to do things for them that will cause them to favor her positively. To further the pleasant image of herself, she is very secretive about her past and deeper feelings, fearing a negative response; something that can be attributed to her growing up in a Nuclear Family setting and having to keep up a certain image.

Fueled by adrenaline and anonymity, Alice's White Rabbit persona is extremely hyper active and allows her the freedom to express herself in ways she can't during her day job. Although the constant exuberance can be uplifting it more often than not leads to impulsive behavior, over stepping boundaries and a needless exhaustion of effort. A believer in never dying loyalty, White Rabbit will stick with her colleagues to the point of complete stubbornness even when it's to her detriment.

Out of costume, Alice shows no outstanding physical ability aside from being able to balance multiple objects such as trays of food during her waitress hours and lift her own weight to climb up things.

Politically Alice doesn't tie herself with any specific party, choosing to just go with what she feels is fair and just. However, due to growing up in California there are hints of subconscious leanings towards more liberal beliefs, though her level of patriotism boarders on pure nationalism.

In regards to her sexuality Alice appears to be heterosexual. Her attitude towards romantic conquest comes off as blasé and worrisome, not making any effort to even attract a mate. Reasons for this being the possibility of someone finding out too much about her, resulting in a broken heart and abandonment. This, however, coupled with her clingy tendencies usually ends up resulting in anxiety, mental exhaustion and distress when she does find herself developing feelings for someone. When pressed to describe her perfect man, Alice states that anyone is fine as long as he is a good man and someone she can be proud to stand by.

Costume

To keep her identity a complete secret The White Rabbit's costume has head to toe coverage, including a wig to conceal her natural hair color. Fashioned after the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, the costume consists of a visor, mask, tailored jacket, undershirt, gloves, high waist shorts and leggings that also act as her boots. The entire outfit is made by herself. The toes of her boots are fitted with solid steel toes designed to look like rabbit feet, which were meant to give a hand up for climbing and inflicting damage when delivering kicks. To further hide her identity, The White Rabbit fakes an exaggerated Northern Jersey accent on par with Betty Boop, meant to be distinctive and agitating.

Skills and Equipment

Having grown up with a stereotypical home life, Alice possesses skills in various gendered activities such as sewing, cooking, baking, dancing and penmanship with a plethora of knowledge in classic literature. School activities such as gymnastics and other light sports helped prepare her for her life as a vigilante helping hone her reflexes and reaction times as well as her ability to recover from falls. All her martial arts 'training' was taught to her by travel buddies she met on her way to New York, originally just starting out as a fun activity to do during pit stops. Realizing that she couldn't stand up against most men, she focuses on defense, evasion and using her opponents weight against them. These stops as well played a part in teaching her how to fix and disassemble things due to the many car issues that happened along the way. She often uses this knowledge to sabotage get away vehicles.

The visor over her eyes is made of a same material used for police riot shields, the origin of how she acquired such material is not something she's willing to reveal. It is solid enough to protect against a hard hit to the face and tinted enough to hide her eyes while giving her semi clear visibility. While able to buff and fix small chips and cracks in it, it would most likely be impossible to recreate if broken.

Her costume, contains no armor besides her visor and padded knees and elbows to break falls more efficiently.

After teaming up Night Owl II gifted a number of things to assist her, including a reconstruction of her boot 'toes' to make them lighter and work in more efficient ways. Redesigning them to be separate parts instead of one solid piece allowed them to operate more like an actual foot, now giving them the ability to spread open for better balance.

Lacked a belt or anything for inventory carry, what little White Rabbit holds is either light enough to hook onto the waist band of her shorts or small enough to be kept in the breast pocket of her jacket. The 'tail' on the back of her costume is a small flash grenade to be used only as a last resort or quick escape. An audio scrambler is built into her pocket watch producing 5 minutes of interference to hinder calls for back up or keep surveillance mics from listening in on covert conversations. The trackers are standard and used to track targets.

Relationship with Walter Kovacs and Rorschach

The most influential person in Alice's life in New York, Alice met Walter Kovacs years before she became a vigilante. The diner she worked at was near his job and catered to many of the employees during the lunch rush. Walter would come every now and then to have coffee, food and sometimes read the paper. Their communication was sparse, only expanded through her own efforts to build a friendly connection with him as a regular customer. He was polite to her within his ability, eventually answering her in full sentences. It was only after her request for him to walk her home from the diner one day to avoid a heckling customer she worried would follow her that their relationship evolved in any way. With Walter being thankful that she was direct with her request and demeanor instead of trying to sweet talk him like other women. Pleasant, long conversation being proven possible, the two bonded and grew into being good friends.

Not aware they knew each other out of costume, Rorschach and White Rabbit would often get into small squabbles, spawning mostly from White Rabbit's too familiar attitude towards he and Night Owl II, giving them pet names like 'Rory' and 'Nighty', bumping into and touching them casually, as well as having a sense of humor in serious situations. Although this was explained as a way to lighten the mood and ease tension the behavior caused Rorschach to often become angry, accusing her of making a mockery out of their work. White Rabbit would often try to soothe him, but this only worked some of the time and more often than not end in Night Owl II having to break them up. Many nights ended in both parties being bitter towards each other. As time passed White Rabbit gained more experience in her vigilantism, gaining the two the ability to work together more smoothly even to the point of being able to go on patrol and stakeouts together without incident. It was at these times they'd talk about their motivations, eventually coming to an understanding. Some conversations would ironically consist of them talking about their encounters with each others day time alias's, oblivious to the fact that they were the same people.

As the years passed, it became clear that Walter's mental state was begining to deteriorate. Unaware it was his nights of vigilantism causing it, Alice began offering and request he spend time with her more frequently; hoping the interaction would help with whatever was troubling him. At this point however, watching the slow, descending sanity of someone she cared about happen right her eyes began to work against her own well being. Forced to come to terms with the fact that she indeed had strong, romantic feelings for someone, Alice weighted her options and in December 1974 she finally confessed how she felt to Walter. Trying to cushion the heaviness of her sudden admission, she quickly tagged on the reassurance that it was okay if he didn't feel the same way. She would later describe his face looking placid but his eyes looking terrified. In 1975, after not seeing Walter for almost a week, Alice went to the garment factory he worked at looking for him. When she asked to see him she was informed he had quit suddenly and they hadn't heard anything since. Not knowing his address or any way to contact him, Alice became inconsolable and sank into a sever depression.

At this point White Rabbit also began to notice a change in Rorschach's behavior. Becoming more brutal in his actions he started working alone more often and interacting less and less. After weeks of this environment and still wrecked with worry over Walter's disappearance, White Rabbit asked Rorschach for his help. Begging him through tears she gave him Walter's full name and former work place in the desperate hope of tracking him down. It was at this point that Rorschach figured out who White Rabbit really was, but continued to withhold his own identity. He agreed and told her he would look into it and to meet him in a couple of days. At their meeting place, Rorschach informed White Rabbit that he had found Walter and was 'alive' but refused to give any other details. Ignoring further pleading and tears, he left her in the spot, telling her to be satisfied with what she got and let Walter go.

In 1977 after the Keene Act was put into effect, White Rabbit refused to retire and continued to patrol the city. Working to stop what small crimes she could alone she as well tirelessly searched for Rorschach, who had refused to retire as well. When she found him in a fight with some local thugs she joined in to help him, suffering a blow to the face from a metal bat that shattered a large chunk out of her visor. After disposing of the criminals, White Rabbit confronted Rorschach, berating him for not asking for help. Insisting he couldn't handle the entire city on his own she assured him that she was there to help no matter what. Rorschach began to leave, coldly telling her that he didn't need her weighting him down, to which she grabbed him by the arm and demand he look at her and tell her what was wrong with him. A fight ensued, with White Rabbit demanding Rorschach accept her help, proclaiming that she wasn't going to retire as long as he stayed active as well. Finally grabbed her and staring her in the face, Rorschach ordered her to quit and go home, calling her by her real name in the process. Rattled and enraged by the fact that he never told her he knew who she was, Alice fought back harder against him, turning the entire affair into an all out brawl between them. No match for Rorschach but still refusing to abandon him Alice declaring he would have to kill her before she would leave him to die alone and cold. The fight was ended with Rorschach smashing her head into a wall, breaking her visor fully and concussing her. She plead for him not to do this, thinking of both Rorschach and Walter and who was going to take care of them if she couldn't before loosing consciousness and waking up in her own bed. The remains of her visor sat on her bedside table with a note reading 'Thank you for all you do' and bearing Rorschach's signature.

Dejected and without the use of her visor anymore Alice was finally forced to retire.

Rorschach refers to this event as 'the night the White Rabbit died', most likely as a way to continue to protect her anonymity.

The Events of Watchmen

Finding out that Walter was Rorschach via news report, Alice visits Walter in prison where she uses her audio scrambler to mask their conversation. She confronts him about never telling her who he was when he knew about her, to which Walter replies that it was for their own good. The meeting ends with Walter placidly confessing that he was fond of Alice long before finding out she was White Rabbit.

Although telling Walter and Long that she wouldn't be back, Alice still dons her vigilante costume again on Halloween night to try and get Rorschach out herself. Luckily coming in during the riot and Night Owl and Silk Specter's own rescue mission, White Rabbit gleefully joins them.

After loosing Silk Specter to Manhattan, discovering Veidt's plan, and Rorschach mailing his journal, White Rabbit finally asks Rorschach on the way to Antarctica to tell her what really happened back when he forced her into retirement. He tells her and apologizes in a less awkward fashion than he had with Night Owl. White Rabbit accepts his apology and reassures him “I won't let you die cold and alone. Well...alone at least. We are going to Antarctica.”

Death

White Rabbit witnesses the deaths caused by Veidt in his attempt to create a utopia. Everyone decides to keep it a secret except Rorschach who tries to leave and inform the world of the truth. White Rabbit loyally follows him and tries to assist him with getting the hoverbikes to work when they are stopped by Manhattan. Rorschach tells her to go back with the others to escape the price of trying to ruin Veidt's utopia, to which she refuses, repeating her promise to not leave him to die alone. Taking off her mask, White Rabbit seconds the prompting of Manhattan to kill them. Embracing Rorschach, their silhouette takes the shape of the Hiroshima Lovers before disintegrating.

#Watchmen #au #oc #White Rabbit #comics #sorry this took so long #i wanted to draw a picture to go with it

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fhrancine · 6 years

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Therapy (With @DontMindTheWait)

Stone: ::Everything hurt, even the hair on my head ached as every nurse and doctor in the physical therapy area hear quite loudly. If I ever wanted to get into the business of torture, I was pretty sure I found the place to go and that my therapist would be the best teacher of all in that regards. I had been bent and stretched and forced to move this way and that, no matter how I protested or cursed them out. Both of which I did a LOT. Apparently when they had heard I would only agree to one session rather than the twelve they initially wanted, they decided to squeeze as many as they could into the 2 hour session. Even though the last half was done in a pool, it had still hurt like a bitch. If anything it only resolved my single session mentality. I’d paid attention and would be able to manage the list of exercises they gave me on my own, with no damn witnesses to my misery. The assholes still wouldn’t let me walk out though. Nope, they had to make sure I went to the last head session and didn’t get myself hurt on the way. Well screw that. I had my crutches across my lap and kept my mouth shut as I was wheeled down the hall. When we turned down an isolated corridor, my ride came to a stop and the nurse came round to help me stand and adjust my crutches. “You better not get hurt, I need this job.” I flashed her a smile and held up a hand. :: I promise to be as careful as I can, Ysmeine, I will send the other half of your payment as soon as I get home. Thank you for allowing me this bit of dignity at least.

::She tucked a stray blonde hair behind her ear, “Everyone should be allowed a little dignity, Stone. For the record, I’d have settled for dinner rather than the money.” I let out a soft laugh and shook my head. It wasn’t the first time she’d said that or implied she’d wanted something else, but she did nothing for me and I was pretty confident I would spork my eyes out if I had to endure another ten minutes of her bubbly flirting, let alone an entire dinner:: I’m afraid I won’t be good company for anyone. You’ve seen me on my best behavior. Thank you again and no offense, but I hope not to see you, or this hospital, again anytime soon.

::She laughed my words off and slipped me her number…again before she turned the chair around to head back, leaving me alone to hobble my way to the head doc. One session. I will have fulfilled my obligation to Ravenna and the promise I’d made to the shrink to ‘give it a fair shot’ but I was over it. I grit my teeth and used the crutches as I maneuvered the hallways, turning the final corner that led to the therapist's office, I felt my left crutch slide out as I tried to take the corner too fast, my confidence getting the better of me. I bounced off the wall and my crutch went sliding down the hall about ten feet as I let out a string of very loud curses. Only when I lifted my head did I see her standing there, this time though, there was no smile lighting up that face, instead it was shock? Confusion? something.….and still it didn’t do a damn thing to diminish her beauty. . Heat crept up my face as I quickly ducked my head and mumbled apologies as I used the wall and my other crutch to move down the hall so I could gather my runaway clutch and any shred of dignity I may have had left:::

Frankie: ~ I hurried from the appointment with the apartment and couldn’t help but smile about how much easier this would be. After losing Jhames I was sure I’d be in a state of depression for the rest of my rather long life. But with getting the new place to live, and with the help of the therapist and the friends I had at work, I knew I was making progress. I smiled and waved at everyone as I made my way through the front door and through to the staff area to where my locker was. I didn’t have long before my shift was starting, so I quickly changed into my uniform and stepped out onto the desk with seconds to spare. I nodded at the others who were part way through their shift and sat down, happily catching up with the gossip I’d missed. I was thrilled at the hugs I got when I explained what I’d spent the beginning of the evening doing. Pulling my phone out to show pictures of the place and get opinions on what I should do with it and where I should put the various items of furniture that I could afford or already owned. I looked up to find that it was already an hour and a half into my shift and I was almost late for my normal rounds of the wards to check in. I bounced up out of my seat and quickly picked up the various forms that I needed to fill in on my way around and started off along the bottom of the hospital first. I took orders for stock as well as anything else they might need. We were big enough of a facility to have more than one floor and a few different clinics for things. But we weren’t so big that we could allow each and every ward and clinic to do their own administration. It was unconventional, but it seemed to work for us. I also enjoyed the social side of being able to meet everyone in the hospital. I got to know how each department worked and that helped when we were all called when something huge happened. It also made staying at the hospital during the daylight hours when we weren’t working less awkward. I’d just made it to the second floor and checked in with the physios and I was headed towards a place I knew well. I came here once a week to speak to my therapist. I was in a world of my own when I heard what sounded like a horrific crash. I pushed through the back door to the large room currently housing a lot of cursing patients to come face to face with a male on the floor.

The minute he looked up and met my eyes I felt my heart rate kick up a notch and i was sure that my breathing hitched. I swallowed hard and then shifted my attention to the blonde female who had appeared behind him, Ysmeine frowned and looked between the two of us, “Ysmeine, is this your patient? I’m not sure what happened. Are you ok, should I go and get a chair?” I stepped backwards a little and bent to get one of the crutches that appeared to have gotten away from the male and watched as Ysmeine began to fuss over the male still gripping the railing like it was a life line. ~

Stone ::My face burned with embarrassment and I prayed to the Scribe or anyone who would listen for the floor to swallow me whole as she came closer. I was fairly certain my heart stopped and my lungs failed to work at the moment. This was not how I pictured this happening. Not that I ever truly allowed myself to picture this moment happening. Well not this moment exactly, but meeting her face to face. I felt hands touching me but she they were coming from behind while she was in front of me…I blinked and furrowed my brows and then groaned low as her words floated through my haze of embarrassment. Ysmeine huffed and puffed while trying to right me, “You were supposed to be careful, you promised. I could lose my job!” She cleared her throat as I swatted at her hands to get them from touching me, squirming further from her as I leaned against the wall. She flashed a smile at the redhead, “Thank you, Fhrancine, Stone is my patient and was supposed to be trying to be careful as he went to his next appointment. Please don’t tell on me.” I hung my head and pushed her hands off me once more as she tried to settle her hand on my arm. I scooted down the wall to get closer to my crutch and the female holding it:: It’s not Ysmeine’s fault. I just wanted…

::I squirmed and ducked away from the blonde’s hands as she tried to turn my head, “Did you hit your…” Letting out a low growl and damn near melting into the wall, I shot her a glare, my small thread of patience snapping at how this night was going for me. My words came out with a low growl:: Please for the love of all, stop with the touching. You know I don’t like it, I’ve told you enough times. I’m fine, I just want to get this damn night over with. Go back to whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing, my lips are sealed and I will swear on my life you walked me all the way down to the appointment if you leave right now.

::I turned back to the redhead who was likely ready to have me committed or go running the opposite direction, barely letting it register when Ysmeine gasped in outrage but turned away before she spouted anything else. Not that I would blame her, nor did I blame the beauty before me for wanting to run. My cheeks still felt hot and I almost couldn’t look her in the eyes. But at the same time, I couldn’t resist. She was far more gorgeous than I’d remembered from that brief glimpse I’d stolen of her a few weeks before. My nose twitched as I caught her scent and that had shifting on my feet as a whole other level of embarrassment began to take hold. I leaned my weight on my lone crutch and bent slightly to hide my growing issue and then shook my head as I finally caught the tail end of her questions:: I’m sorry, really. It’s just been one of those…….lives. Thank you for stopping, Miss……Fhrancine, was it? If I could have my crutch, I’ll continue on to my appointment with my tail rightfully between my legs.

Frankie: ~ I blinked and watched as the male repeatedly tried to bat off the affections of Ysmeine. I had assumed he was her patient, and I had been right. But he wasn’t someone more than that, which is what normally happened to the males who came in. Especially good looking ones who were able to give back as good as she gave. I’d moved slightly closer automatically, though I hadn’t really thought about what I was doing. I would help, but if i were to comment I’d get written up in a heartbeat by Ysmeine and probably also piss off the male who seemed like someone who liked to do things themselves. Instead I watched the scene play out in front of me. The growl from the male almost making me groan without thought. I tramped down on that particular reaction as I tried my best to focus. I was already dead on time for the group therapy session, and I didn’t want to end up being late due to this incident. Though, the fact this male was also going to an appointment, and facing the therapy entrance gave me pause. Instead I smiled at the male and extended my arm with the lost crutch, not moving any closer in case he was still feeling hemmed in after Ysmiene’s affections. “Frankie is fine. I mean, technically it’s Fhrancine, but no one calls me that. Can I help you get somewhere? I was just on my way to a meeting myself, but I should have time to get you to your appointment if you’d like?” I smiled reassuringly again. I didn’t want to spook the male, but I wasn’t all that sure he could manage on his own at this point. Whatever they’d done to him in therapy had obviously had some effect, and it wasn’t about to disappear within minutes. They should really have put him in a wheelchair, as was policy at the hospital. But I had a feeling the male was good at getting what he wanted when he set his mind to it. I was relieved when he took the crutch without any fuss and as soon as he had I wrapped my arms around the stack of files I still carried so that he’d know I was no threat. Instead trying to be as friendly as I could possibly be, “No tail between legs necessary. Everyone here has taken a fall or slipped at some point. Whether they were injured or not. Please don’t feel embarrassed by it. You should have been in a wheelchair, which would have stopped it happening in the first place. But wouldn’t have allowed Ysmiene her opportunity to grope you. So perhaps by avoiding policy you made someone’s day?” I winked at the male and then paused as I waited to find out where he was going and how I could help him. ~

Stone: ::I reached for the crutch and slowly lifted my gaze to hers. I tucked it under my arm and tried to get myself all balanced out without looking like a complete and utter ass. I nodded towards the doorway just ahead that lead to the therapy session:: Thank you, Frankie. I’m just heading up there to the head shrink. Thankfully the doc already knows I’m a stubborn sh…I ‘m stubborn. And usually right on the nick of time so hopefully she won’t be too mad at me and all that. It’s my first …oh shit. Sorry. Anyway, I took the turn too fast back there trying to get away from her. I mean, trying to get out of here, period. No offense, but I’m a little over this place. Surgeries, physical therapy, head docs…

::I flashed a shy grin and glanced over my shoulder to make sure Ysmeine wasn’t within sight, before I ducked my head again. I sucked at small talk on the best of days, so used to keeping people at arms length or further, but this female had me tripping over my damn tongue like a virgin on prom night. I just had to suck it up. I was sure she’d be off with her male as soon as she could and then I’d be left alone with my hand once more. I felt my cheeks flame hot as my mind went down that path. Thankfully vampires couldn’t read minds because I’d be a dead man walking.:: I was in the chair, but I kinda kicked up a bit of a fuss so I could get away on my own terms. I bribed her which apparently she took as an invitation to get all handsy. I doubt that my bit…complaining made her night in anyway though. At least I hope it didn’t. I thought I’d made myself clear enough.

::That wink of hers made my stomach flip on end and I took a small hobble closer without even thinking about it. One night, one moment. I wished I was one of those males who had all the lines and could sweep females off their feet, but the only way that was going to happen is if I swept her feet out with my crutch. I took a deep breath, biting back the groan as her scent once again filled my senses, and let my words fall out in a rush:: I would hate to make you late for your own appointment, but if we’re heading in the same direction, maybe if I have someone to walk with I won’t try to be a speed walker or anything? If you don’t mind. I mean…I’m sure you’re busy and all that.

Frankie: ~ I chuckled quietly at the change up of words. That was normally something I was used to happening to the glymera females who occasionally came into the clinics. Rarely did anyone try to police their language around those of a lower station. It made me smile to see happen. I wanted to say that it was ok to speak naturally, but it was kind of fun to watch the male trip over his words. The slightly blush to his cheeks was endearing, and something that I wasn’t going to try and get used to. Once I got him to his destination I was unlikely to see him again. Even if we were going in the same direction, it was still unlikely that we’d cross paths like this again. I’d figured that out quickly in such a busy hospital. My time was pulled in a million different directions, and it was something that I noted of pretty much everyone who came through the doors. They were present for the minute it took to get given details of their ailments, but as soon as that was done with, they were out the door and onto the next thing. I liked it, it kept things interesting, but it also made keeping in contact with people outside of those I worked with hard. Dehv had been an exception, since we’d known each other so long, despite him moving all over the place with business and whatever. He never seemed to be in one place long, but kept coming back to feed. Which was impressive. And something I’d have to ask him about again soon. It had been months and I needed to get my strength back. I blinked as my attention was brought back to the present and the male in front of me. I smiled and turned to nod towards the door that he was aiming at, “I was just on my way to the same place you were, it would see. So I can accompany you straight there to ensure you get there in one piece, and find who you are looking for. As well as sit down once you’re there to keep those muscles from causing you any more issues.” I smiled and extended my arm towards the closed door at the end of the corridor, “After you, um, I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name?” I shook my head as I realised I’d managed to introduce myself and totally missed when he’d been given a name. Too busy noticing things I shouldn’t have been paying attention to. I kept my smile in place and started walking, keeping my pace slow so that the male could keep up without losing his footing again. ~

Stone: ::When she mentioned she was heading to the same therapy session I’d been desperately trying to avoid, I could almost hear Ravvena and Grayce laughing in my head. They would definitely appreciate the humor in this situation. They’d also kick my ass if I bypassed this opportunity. I glanced at the female again, keeping my head slightly turned so she’d not see the full assault of the scars on my face. I was lucky enough she’d not run for cover as it was. I flashed a shy grin:: I forgot about that whole sitting down thing, think they’d mind if you just propped me up in the corner? I’m sure the others in there wouldn’t mind the entertainment that would come when I take a swan dive back to the ground. Might be an improvement even. Sorry, I think walking through the doors here tends to make me lose my manners, I’m Stone.

::I readjusted my crutches and let out a low laugh as I hobbled alongside the female. Suddenly, I wished the hallway was much longer just to prolong the moment. Especially as we were expected to speak and shit in the session and I really wasn’t looking forward to that. Maybe I could convince the therapist I was in too much pain to speak. Right, she’d buy that almost as much as the psychos’ in the physical therapy department had. But then again, it did give me more time with her, since chances were her male would be waiting…then again, maybe not. She wasn’t bonded to anyone, not that I could tell. I had gotten so distracted in noticing her, capturing all the details I could, that I nearly smacked into the door when it opened to the room as the therapist popped her head out with a wide smile. “There you are. Your therapist called and said you may be running a little late, but I know how much you want to be here so I was going to hunt you down myself.” Her smile widened as she turned her attention to Frankie, “Thank you for helping Stone, I’m glad you made it too, just take your seats in the circle and we’ll get started.” She ducked back into the room and I reached out with my hand to hold the door that didn’t need my help and smiled a smile that I hoped didn’t reflect the sense of utter doom I was feeling as I looked in the room and the others waiting to share their own stories of grief.:: After you, Frankie.

Frankie: ~ I walked slowly alongside Stone, smiling when he introduced himself, “I know that you were given a name when Ysmeine was with you, but I admit to being too focused on checking you were ok. I didn’t quite catch all the words. It’s very nice to meet you Stone.” I smiled at him and carried on beside him. I told myself it was purely because we were going to the same place, and he may have hurt himself when he fell. I couldn’t really leave him in case something else happened. But now we were getting closer to those doors it sunk in that I had to share my story with the group. The group that now included someone who seemed to steal my breath when I looked at him. I took a slow deep breath and tried to keep my heart in my chest and stop my head from spinning. The presence of the main group therapist, she smiled wide and immediately I started to calm. She had that effect on most of us. Which was a good thing when we were all going into a room and sharing all our darkest secrets. The emotions were often running high. I’d seen it. While this might be the first time I’d hit a group therapy session, I had worked in the hospital often enough to see those who came out of this room. They often looked like a weight had been lifted, but at the same time, they were drained and often emotional. More than once I’d worried for their ability to demat once they were safely outside the walls. Thankfully most had managed it, or they’d taken advice to sit down in the canteen or a quiet room and take time to process everything. Which was what I’d had to do more than once when I’d come out of the room with the male I spoke to every week. I wasn't sure what to expect with the group session, but I knew that it was natural to be nervous. “Thank you, we’ll be right in.” I nodded at the female and then smiled brightly at Stone, moving on past him through the door and then through the second door to the bigger room that had the soft chairs for us. I slowed to hold the door for Stone, knowing he was struggling on his crutches. “And now, after you, Stone. I’m glad I ran into you, I am not sure I’d have managed to walk into the room feeling quite so confident had I not had to help you. It stopped me thinking too much and getting all up in my own head. So thank you.” I smiled again, not wanting him to feel too uncomfortable with me, but also wanting to give him my gratitude. I was still nervous, but nothing like I was the first time I’d stepped into one of these offices. And now all I had to do was get through talking about the worst time in my life. ~

Stone: ::I had a feeling we were both trying to delay the inevitable with the shell game of who passes the door first. I had seen the look past over Frankie’s face when the therapist came out. In the hallway, we would pretend, we could just say we were on our way to an appointment, therapy even, but passing through those doors we both knew. This was grief and it was not pretty. Though that smile she flashed me as she was holding the door, caused another flip to my stomach and it had nothing to do with what was waiting. It would figure that the fates would tease me like this. I hoped Ravvena and Grace were enjoying the show they were surely enjoying. As I turned sideways to avoiding bumping her into the door, I let out a soft laugh:: I’m glad that babysitting a klutzy male managed to bring a smile to that face and give you the confidence to come here. To be honest, if I’d managed to stay upright, I likely would have skipped right past the door and out to the world.

::I gave a little nods and a grin before hobbling to the circle of chairs. I chewed my lip and then decided to choose the chair second from the one end of the horshoe pattern of chair. I liked having a chair to the left to help me stand when all was said and done. I slid my crutches under the row and flopped my sorry ass into the chair with a huff. Once I was settled, I flashed an apologetic grin to the rest of those in the circle. The rest had filled in the circle from the other way, leaving a bank of empty chairs to my right. The therapist sat in the middle of the curve with her ever present smile on her face and then I noticed the tissue boxes under every other chair. Ohh yeah, this would be fun. I glanced over to the door and watched as Frankie came closer, again getting that feeling she’d rather be anywhere else too. I know she joked about sitting close to help me from falling and I found myself wondering if she would do just that. Then I took one more glance around the room and wondered if it was too late to bolt for the door. As I shifted in my seat, I remembered that bolting in my position was not going to happen. Well, I suppose it was time to get this nightmare over with.::

Frankie ~ I made my way slowly into the room, Bridget smiled again as I walked past her and I looked around to ensure everyone was sitting. I knew it wasn’t really my place to check, but I had worked here so long that it was habit. I wanted to be in patient mode, and yet I found that my work face was the easiest for me to find when I was uncomfortable. I could see that Bridget knew this, and I nodded my acknowledgement. I took one more deep breath before choosing to take the seat beside Stone, knowing that it would probably be uncomfortable, but unable to stop myself regardless. I wasn’t sure why I had this pull towards him, but I felt in some ways calmer when he stood closer to me. I couldn’t really explain it, and I was sure he’d run as soon as he heard my story, but I was going to sit here anyway. Even if it was selfish to try and be close to someone who was suffering as much as I was. Probably more. For while I’d loved Jhames, we’d not been bonded. We’d been best friends, and it had been love. We’d have been happy for the rest of our lives, so long as no one had come along to trigger his bond, or mine. But that wasn’t something we’d heard of too much, but something was different with Stone. And I was curious enough to actively push myself out of my comfort zone to check that out. I inhaled again and then settled in my seat, trying my best to appear relaxed, despite the fact I wanted to be anywhere else but here. I’d asked to have more one to one sessions with my therapist, but I’d been told this would be a good step for me. To at least try it and then we could figure out if I wanted any more. Bridget sat in front of us all and started speaking to us. Explaining who she was and what she was doing here today. She went over the format and that we could speak as much or as little as we wanted. She’d give up the option, but that no one was to judge anyone on their decision or their story. That would be easy for most of us, I hoped. We’d all been through something horrific in order to be here. Whether that was bigger or smaller than others, it didn’t matter. We all listened with the same patience and understanding that we wanted to receive. It was a nice philosophy, but in my experience not something that panned out that way every single time. I hadn’t realised I was sitting on an end until Bridget turned her head to look at me, her smile kind as she offered up my choice on whether I wanted to share some, all or none of my story. I slowly scanned the room, seeing that most were fidgeting or rocking or looking like they wanted to throw up there and then. I was just as nervous as most of them looked, I swept my tongue over my lips to try and coax some words out before she moved onto Stone, “I’m here because the male I was to be mated to was murdered in front of me. Throat slashed and left to die in front of my eyes, and I was powerless to do anything about it. I was lucky, and I wasn’t killed right along with him. But no matter what I’ve seen in my job here, nothing prepares you for that kind of horror. The death of anyone is painful and tragic, but to see it of someone I loved so much, that was soul destroying.” I gave a weak smile before lowering my gaze to the floor. Huffing out a breath as I heard Bridget thank me for being so open and honest. I could barely hear it over the thudding of my heart in my chest. The blood rushing through my system loud in my ears. I had to clasp my hands together to stop them from shaking so hard I was afraid that I’d cause the chair under me to vibrate. But I’d managed to get it out there, and I’d managed to be the first to speak. It did feel good to have it out in the open, and to slowly learn how to phrase and speak about it in a way that might make it easier for others to hear. ~

Stone: ::I couldn’t help but watch Frankie from the corner of my eye as she crossed the room. There was a fleeting moment where it looked like she was the one who was getting ready to bolt. I found that longing in my gut to get up and help her, though I knew that was stupid. Hell, I had needed her help just to get here. I wanted to take away her pain, anything to replace that look on her face with that smile of hers that lit up the entire room. It was selfish of me in a way. Mainly because even just picturing that smile helped to settle my nerves once more. I wanted to grin when she chose the seat nearest me, though if she were thinking anything like I was, it was the quickest way out when all was said and done, and had nothing to do with me at all. But I was going to take my victories where I could. I turned my attention to Bridget and listened as she went over everything. We were all here because we had lost someone, or several someones, many in the raids and shit on our kind. My whole life was loss though. My tongue seemed to grow thicker at the prospect of having to speak in front of these people. My throat even felt like it was closing as Bridget’s attention fell onto this side of the chairs. Shit. My heart skipped as I realized her intentions were absolutely to start at this end. With Frankie. I turned my head slightly towards her, not staring, but trying to show I was listening without gawking. My fingers clenched and unclenched against my legs as she spoke. She had lost her mate, her love…I was an asshole for even thinking the things I was thinking about her. Before or now. My heart thudded as she described watching it. I had seen enough of it, caused enough of it, that I knew it was never a pretty sight. Especially if it was someone you cared for. I hoped whoever was responsible had died a slow and very painful death for causing her that pain. Those nightmares. When she finished, I watched the rest of the group wiping their tears and nodding soft. I don’t know what made me do it, possibly just the fact I Was drawn to her, wanting to comfort her, I tried to do what others do in this situation. They touched….So, I brushed my thumb over her knee softly, briefly, before pulling my hand back just as quickly. I wanted to let her know that she was brave for speaking. Then I noticed that Bridget was staring at me, that smile in place as she spoke my name in encouragement to go next. My mouth opened and shut a few times in false starts before I managed to form the words, my hand coming up to run my thumb over the scar at the corner of my lip.:: Death has been part of my life since I was six and my parents were murdered in front of me by my uncle. He then raised me, groomed me, all that. I was to mate with a female to help some business deal. Turns out she liked females more than males. But, she became a dear friend. I protected her and her female, hiding their secret and moving them in with me.

::I smiled faintly at the memories of them both before shaking my head slowly:: I was about to take my uncle down, I finally had the evidence needed, we…me, Ravenna and Graycie, we’d be free. I sent them away so they’d not be caught up. He…he had them followed and then killed them, gladly sending me the photos as evidence. I went mad. I had nothing left in me. I ended up here because my need for revenge led to some bad decisions. After a few surgeries, my doc refused to release me until I agreed to sessions here…to release some of the pain and anger I felt…I feel.

::I shook my head again and clamped my lips shut. I had already said more than I intended. I lifted my gaze and saw Bridget damn near beaming before she toned it back down and thanked me for finally sharing. I was fairly certain either my face was on fire or it was whiter than a sheet, or a combination of both those things. I cast my eyes back down and swallowed hard, my fingers dropping back to the seat, curling tight around the hard plastic as if I needed to hold myself down. Maybe I did…it was either that or flee like a child. The next person in the circle started talking, but I scarcely heard them. All I could focus on was the tick of the clock as it passed the minutes away::

Frankie: ~ I listened intently at the male beside me started to talk. Sharing his story and the things that he’d been through. Even though he tried to keep his face stoic, it was obvious that he was fighting with his emotions. I felt myself frowning, my throat getting tight as I listened, and I reached out without thought, returning the soft gesture to press my fingers to the top of his wrist. I squeezed gently before my gaze moved onto the next person in the circle. They started speaking, but my mind drifted, I hadn’t pulled my hand back, feeling somehow comforted by the warmth that felt like it was flowing from him to me. Where he’d gently comforted me earlier was still tingling, and I loved the feel of it. I couldn’t explain it, and I tried my best to listen. Some of the people in the group had been here years I’d been told. Others were new, as I was. I’d spoken to my therapist, and talked about how Jhames and I were best friends. That we could have comfortably lived through many years together, given birth to healthy children and been a stable family unit. But when the therapist had asked me if Jhames was bonded, I’d had to answer honestly. That he hadn’t been. There had been none of that, and I knew that it wasn’t the norm with civilians. We’d all heard the rumours of the Brotherhood and their bonding, how it was stronger for the warriors. But many civilians settled for those they connected with, much like the humans did. The therapist had pointed out that if someone had come along who had triggered that in him, or had been my intended mate, it would have caused problems. And I acknowledged that. Though it was something I’d been aware could happen. I’d never found anyone who I wanted to be with, no one who touched that part of my soul. I’d been intrigued by people, but never pulled toward them. Never reacting to them quite like I was the male beside me. Which was the worst timing in the entire world. Considering we were currently in therapy for things that wanted to break us. When the male stopped talking and dropped his hand, I pulled my hand back to my own knee. Letting my eyes track the others in the circle until they were finished with their stories. I liked that they’d all felt comfortable enough to at least say a little bit about what was going on in their lives. Bridget ended with a small clap and thanked each person who had spoken before pointing towards the table at the back. She’s set up an urn with hot water, tea and coffee. And I’d brought the biscuits for her to share earlier in the day. She offered us the option to take a break, either together or on our own. Giving us the ability to process what we’d said or what we’d heard. Sometimes things that were said triggered others, and that wasn’t something that Bridget was able to predict going into the session. This gave us a minute to regroup, and to connect with others who were going through the same emotional turmoil as we were. I stood and risked a glance over at Stone, feeling my face flush as I realised I was checking him out. My brain clicking in a slight second after it should have before I felt my breath hitch and I turned away. Now really wasn’t the time. It might never be the time, but certainly not right after he’d bared his soul. I swallowed hard and then walked to the table, smiling at those already there as I waited in line to get myself a cup of tea. Hopefully this would calm my nerves and get my brain to work in some functional way. ~

Stone: ::I was 99 percent certain that my breath caught in my chest at her gentle touch, the one that sent electric zaps through each and every fiber of myself. That…I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to process it because before it even sunk in, it was gone and I found myself wanting to feel that again. I faintly heard the others talking, but as rude as it was, the female next to me had pretty much my full attention. I had stolen glances of her throughout the meeting and already had her unique scent committed to memory, now I knew I’d be feeling that soft touch for days to come. When her breath hitched, I cast my glance her way again to see what caught her attention ,only to find her looking at one of the many others in the room. I must have missed what was being said. Good thing I’d already established with Brigit and the other therapists that I was an unemotional asshole. Or was it emotionally repressed asshole…either way, they knew that about me long ago. Though I really didn’t want Frankie thinking that of me, why I didn’t know. Shit. She had such a quiet strength to her and I knew I had to right to be thinking the thoughts I was, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt there was no way she’d even agree to the offer of coffee and an ear I was about to offer. She saved me the embarrassment though as she moved quickly to the line of refreshments they offered at these things. If that wasn’t a clear sign of things, I didn’t know what was. I let out a soft noise of disappointment unintentionally and quickly covered it with a cough as I fumbled and bent down to retrieve the damn crutches. With everyone’s attention on the refreshments, it was the perfect opportunity for me to duck out unnoticed. As I reached for them, I tried not to let my gaze wander but apparently I was powerless.I kept my face ducked but lifted d my eyes as I slowly raked them over Frankie, hopefully unnoticed. I was an ass. Plain and simple. She was here mourning her intended and I was staring at her like some fucking trench coat wearing freak. I shook my head and finally got a good grip of the crutches, then slowly used them to help move me back into a standing position. I started towards the door when Bridget stopped me, thanking me for finally opening up and then promising to make note in my file for my release. I grunted out a thanks and turned to the door again when something stopped me. A sudden scream of consciousness. I needed to say thank you to Frankie too. She helped me in here when she didn’t have to, it would only be polite. So of course that was my only reason for shifting my weight and hobbling over towards the end of the table where all of the sugars and such were for the beverages. I would wait and be polite. And if it gave me one more opportunity to speak to her, that was just an added bonus.::

Frankie: ~ I waited until I was able to get a cup and then tipped my head to look over at Stone. He appeared to be making his way towards the door. I felt my heart thud as disappointment sped through me. I had wanted him to come speak to me, seek me out and speak with me about anything. I didn’t care what. I absently rubbed at my chest and then continued to focus on the cup in my hand. I added sugar and milk before the coffee hit the paper throw away. I absently smiled and nodded and threw in some small talk while stirring the whiter the necessary coffee. I flicked my gaze to the clock and realised that my shift started up in less than an hour, and that meant that the sun would be coming up in less than that. No wonder Bridget had be eager to finish up the session when she was. It made Stone’s quick exit understandable as well. Even if the disappointment was still sailing through my blood. I pulled out my mobile and sent a quick text to Dehvastation, asking if he had time to talk after I’d finished my next shift. I knew he’d come to me if I needed him to, and that always made me smile. I popped my phone back in my pocket and then took a slow breath as I forced my attention to the others in the room. I smiled at one of the males who had lost his family when the lessers had been raiding civilian homes. He wasn’t much older than I was, and hadn’t long welcomed a child into the world when his home had been torched. He’d been out when it had happened. He came home to the blaze, quickly realising that his mate and baby hadn’t made it out. I had seen him more than once outside the one to one sessions we all had along with the group sessions. We’d spoken once or twice, and I hoped that him seeing a friendly face when he came into the hospital would in some way help the process. I nodded and smiled once more, trying to make the male laugh where I could. Knowing that I always felt better when I could relieve some of the tension. Anything to seem like ‘normal’ existed. I moved with him a little further to the side of the room when he’d finished making up his own drink, the both of us grabbing up a biscuit and joining one of the females who had been coming to this therapy group far longer than either of us. She barely spoke, and I didn’t really know her story. But she smiled sadly and engaged in the conversation, so I tried my best to not look behind me to see if Stone had left once Bridget had finished speaking to him or not. I could feel myself twitching as I thought about it, wanting to go after him, just to check he was alright. Even if it was inappropriate. I inhaled hard and then smiled to the others in the group, “Sorry, I, um, have to go find someone.” I nodded and turned quickly, stepping forward and bumping straight into the exact male I was in so much of a rush to go after. I swore as I grabbed at him for balance and felt his crutch slip, realising instantly that this was not going to be graceful in any way. ~ #Therapy #Part1

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semi-friendly-emo · 6 years

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All About My Surgery

So I have been referencing my surgery quite often and felt like I should explain everything there is to say about it (human osteology which is forensic which is academic!).

Starting this from the beginning: All my life I have felt pain in my knees whenever I did any physical activity. I noticed that I was pigeon toed (my feet pointed inward not straight) which eventually provoked bullying but thats not relevant here. This started to prevent me from everything and gym class was tough. I couldn't run or kick a ball and always failed my mile run tests. Then I became aware of the fact I was standing “like a mermaid”. Most people stand toes to north and heel to south. Well for me, I stood feet crossed toes pointing west and east with heels touching. At the doctors, we always expressed concerns but they never did anything about it. Fast forward to last year. I went to a doctor about foot pains and that started this huge chain reaction. He told me I am flat footed but the pain is from my knee. So he sent me to a knee doctor who said my knees were problematic but the root of the issue is my hip. So then I went to a hip doctor who was shocked at how intense the issue was. I was told a normal hip/leg rotation was 45 degrees....in my more severe leg, I had about 80-90 degree rotation. This is caused when the femur bone grows in a twisted position off-setting it within the hip. He suggested, and I quote, “massive surgery” which is called a Femoral Derotational Osteonomy. The surgery consists the following: cutting the femur in half, untwisting the bone, repositioning the two halves, using a plate and 3 screws to hold the two pieces together, drilling a hole in the hip bone to put a two pronged “?” shaped plate through the hole (one prong in one out and the ‘tail’ runs down the femur being the plate stated above), then stitching it up and calling it a day. The recovery was estimated 4-6 weeks as well as “limping”/”babying the leg for around 6 months after the surgery. While in the hospital following my surgery, I was given an epidural to decrease the pain. Side note on that: right before my surgery the previous patient 8y boy who had just finished the same surgery came out screaming and crying “JUST TAKE IT OFF” “I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP PLEASEEE” my surgeon came out right after and saw the horrified look on my face (20 years old) and goes “that wont happen to you...his epidural wont work and he woke up too soon so we couldnt properly manage the pain immediately. i hate when they cry i dont want to hurt anyone” so yea that happened but the kid finally relaxed long enough for the nurses to be able to give him the pain meds and he was perfectly fine after. I spent 3 days in the hospital and went home wheel chair bound because i physically could not put any weight on my leg. Now I had my surgery before Christmas so the fact of having to always be moving was horrifying but I was able to manage. At 1 week post op, I was using a walker instead of the wheel chair to move. At 2-3 weeks post op, I was able to get upstairs and stand long enough to cook for myself as well as ditching the walker for crutches. At 4 weeks post op, I was on one crutch and back on campus for move in and made 3 trips to my car then to my dorm then put my car cross campus in the parking garage and hobbling all the way back. Today at 7 weeks and 2 days (2/8/2018), I am walking with no crutch minimal limping (my sister told me ‘Doesnt even look like you had surgery anymore you are fine’) discussed when to stop the physical therapy and minimal pain in that leg. I still have a decent amount of pain because I over work myself but thats why I am where I am. Personal note: I lost everyone close to me during this surgery which hurt the healing factor. I ended a toxic relationship mid recovery because he couldnt understand why I wanted no part in being sexual and that recovery took priority. My best friend has become a stranger to me over the fact that I am in a bad place mentally right now. My roommates have always been distant. My hedgehog developed WHS and is slowly dying at home while I am on campus asking about him daily. I can post more if anyone has more interest on this operation.

#surgery #recovery #post op #the road so far #femur #hip bone #femoral anteversion #anteversion #derotational osteonomy #femur surgery #hip surgery #physical therapy #storytime

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bloojayoolie · 6 years

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7/11, Being Alone, and Bones: 46337-3 gears odld, 69 bs Handsome, friendy playful, housetraned, knows some basic commands, behaves when home alone Has been around older chidren & a small dog and does well I'n NUTS for yo **** TO BE KILLED - 11/9/2018 **** A GIFT TO HIS OWNER AT JUST 3 MONTHS OLD, Bruce is now 3 years old and homeless. Ownerless too :'( He was surrendered to the shelter a few days ago because his old family is moving to a place where pets aren't welcome. Did anyone stop to think about what this could mean to Bruce? It doesn't seem like it. It would be one thing if Bruce could have all the time he needs to find a home but he can't. He's at a kill shelter and just to show you how brutal they are - Bruce is already on the euth list and will be killed in a matter of hours if he doesn't catch the eye and tug at the heartstrings of some animal lover. A gray brindle and lovely eyes, we can't deny that Bruce is a handsome boy. Friendly, playful and housetrained too. Bruce is also a young boy with lots of life to live, all the more reason to help fight for his life. Please open your heart and home and give Bruce a much-needed second chance. BRUCE@BROOKLYN ACC Hello, my name is Bruce My animal id is #46337 I am a male gray brindle dog at the Brooklyn Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 3 years old, 69 lbs Came into shelter as owner surrender Nov. 3, 2018 Reason Stated: MOVING - NO PETS Bruce is rescue only Bruce is at risk. He has been observed to display fearful behavior during his stay at our care centers, at times avoiding interaction and shying away from direct touch. Bruce startles easily and is made uncomfortable by loud noises and sudden movement. He displays proper warning signals as well as increasing distance from anything that may present a threat. There are no medical concerns for him at this time. My medical notes are... Weight: 69.2 lbs Vet Notes 7/11/2018 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age:3y Microchip noted on Intake?n Microchip Number (If Applicable): History :o surrender Subjective: Observed Behavior -nervous, shaking, allowed exam .muzzled as precaution. Evidence of Cruelty seen -n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective T = P =60 R =wnl BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam:clean teeth (limited) PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: 2 testes MSI: Ambulatory x 4, some scab on head CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Assessment: minor dermatitis Prognosis:good Plan:no treatment at this time for skin SURGERY: Okay for surgery Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 2. Blue Behavior History Behavior Assessment Bruce during intake had his ears semi' flat, displayed whale eyes and tail tucked. He leaned near the owner. He did not approach to sniff. He barked when approached. He struggles going into the cage and pulled his body back. Basic Information:: Bruce is a gray brindle, 2 year old, male unaltered dog. Bruce was a gift to the owner when he was just 3 months old. The owners are moving and need to surrender. Previously lived with:: 3 adults How is this dog around strangers?: When strangers come over Bruce will bark at the dog but wag his tail. He sniff stranger and follow them around excitable. He allows to be pet by strangers. How is this dog around children?: Bruce had never lived with small children. But he has lived with a 14year old. Bruce is playful and jumps up on the children. He sometimes plays rough but enjoys affection. How is this dog around other dogs?: Bruce has been around a small dog. The two dogs would play chase in the park and they would sniff each other. Bruce was gentle around the small dog. How is this dog around cats?: Bruce has never lived with cats. Behavior is unknown around cats. Resource guarding:: Bruce allows his food bowl touched while eating, removing toys and bones from his mouth when commanded " to lease". Bite history:: Bruce has never had a bite or scratch history. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: high Other Notes:: Bruce is fearful going into the tub. He struggles away and tries to get out. He is free to roam the house when owners are not home. He is well behaved when left alone but sometimes chews shoes. The owner have never trimmed his nails but Bruce enjoys his coat brushed. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No Medical Notes: No known medical problem reported. For a New Family to Know: Bruce is described by the owner as friend and playful. He enjoys chasing after balls and chewing stuffed toys. He knows the command sit, roll over, come, sit and lease. He sleep in her dog bed located in the owner's bedroom. He eats a diet of dry dog food Purina. Date of intake:: 11/3/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender Previously lived with:: 3 adults Behavior toward strangers:: Sniffs, excitable Behavior toward children:: Playful, rough with older children; has never been around young children Behavior toward dogs:: Playful, gentle Behavior toward cats:: Unknown Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: None reported Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Friendly, playful with a high energy level Date of assessment:: 11/5/2018 Look:: 1. Dog's eyes are averted, ears are back, tail is down, relaxed body posture. Dog allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity:: 1. Dog stands still and accepts the touch, eyes are averted, and tail is in neutral position with a relaxed body posture. Dog's mouth is likely closed for at least a portion of the assessment item. Tag:: 3. Dog repeatedly turns quickly away when touched, or repeatedly spins toward the touch, and repeatedly tries to exit. Dog may be crouching, tail is tucked, mouth closed, body stiff. Paw squeeze 1:: 2. Dog quickly pulls back. Paw squeeze 2:: 3. Dog is soft in body and eye, and moves legs/body so that the Assessor is unable to hold the paw. Flank squeeze 1:: 1. Dog does not respond at all. Flank squeeze 2:: 1. Dog does not respond at all. Toy:: 1. Dog settles down close to chew, will relinquish toy to you. Summary:: Bruce was fearful and timid upon entering the behavior room though warmed up readily with use of treats. He became attention seeking with handlers, leaning in for petting. Bruce displayed good coping skills throughout his assessment, he tolerated all handling. Summary (1):: Bruce's previous owner reported that he lived with a small dog and was gentle with him when they played. 11/4: When off leash at the Care Center, Bruce is nervous when entering the yard- tail tucked, lowered head and posture. He is tolerant of the female helper's pushy greets and when she slaps him on the back with his paws but mostly ignores her and explores the yard. 11/7:Bruce was sexually motivated when greeting a novel female dog. He displayed chatters, genital sniffs and a hiegten posture. Date of intake:: 11/3/2018 Summary:: Whale eyed, tail tucked, barked upon approach ENERGY LEVEL:: Bruce is reported to have a high energy level in his previous home environment; in the care center, Bruce displays a medium energy level. We recommend daily mental and physical stimulation as a way to direct his energy and enthusiasm. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: 11/7 While out at playgroup handler went to rope and return Bruce inside. Bruce became stiff and curled his lip. Handler was able to rope Bruce but had to cautiously remove leash off collar. Bruce pulled away from handler avoiding going back inside giving handler side eye when rope was picked back up to take him inside. 11/7 An ACS reported that Bruce snapped, froze and hard bark at him while being pet in his kennel. He removed him with his rope, which Bruce began to focus on and grabbed. 11/5 While in SAFER room Bruce was given a significant amount of time to warm up to handlers, allowing him to go at his own pace. Bruce at first was tense and appeared uncomfortable with interaction. After some time Bruce began to warm up and take treats from both handlers. It was then discovered that Bruce knows many commands, such as sit/stay/come/paw/lay down. Bruce also began to solicit affection, placing his head in laps and leaning in. When leash was put on him and handler pressure applied to begin safer Bruce began to decline back to his behavior at beginning of interaction though was observed to recover readily with some coaxing. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: NEW HOPE ONLY Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children (under 13): Because of how fearful Bruce can be initially, we believe he may be best set up to succeed in an experienced adult only home. New Hope Only: While Bruce's previous owner describes an affectionate, playful dog, he is not thriving in the shelter environment and has had a hard time with handling in the care center. He has generally given clear and protracted warnings but now has begun to escalate quickly to snapping. We are concerned that extra pressure may elicit higher level warnings. We feel that placement with a New Hope partner who can provide any necessary behavior modification guidance in a stable home environment will best set Bruce up for success in a future adoptive home. We recommend only force-free, reward-based training methods as more aversive techniques will likely increase fear and increase the risk of aggression. Potential challenges: : Fearful Potential challenges comments:: Fearful: Bruce has been observed to display fearful behavior during his stay at our care centers, at times avoiding interaction and shying away from direct touch. Bruce startles easily and is made uncomfortable by loud noises and sudden movement. He displays proper warning signals as well as increasing distance from anything that may present a threat. We cannot be certain if any other behavior is suppressed as a result of his environment. A period of decompression is advised before introduction or exposure to new and unfamiliar situations. Force-free, reward based training is advised. BRUCE IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #7/11 #Being Alone #an

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