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smaidjor · 3 years

Text

and i pay for my place by the ring (Chapter 2)

This chapter took me so fucking long but after much struggle I have completed it!

It was supposed to be 3-4k words. It was exactly 6069 pre-editing according to google docs.

You're welcome.

Chapter Title: with your blessing i will go

Chapter Wordcount: 6073

Content warnings: suicidal thoughts, self-esteem issues, discussion of death, non-graphic injury.

AO3

Chapter 1

i know they're losing (companion fic)

Actual fic under the cut:

The next few weeks are miserable, and if Scott tried to claim anything else, he would absolutely be lying to himself. Not that he doesn’t already do that, but he’s not too proud to admit that not seeing Jimmy is torturous. He knows he can’t, he’s firmly placed Jimmy on the off-limits list, but that doesn’t make the self-imposed rule any easier to follow. There’s still a part of him that wants to go running back to Jimmy’s arms, to beg for forgiveness and pray that Jimmy’s warmth is enough to curb the chill in his bones.

Scott shoves that part of him down firmly. He has no time to hesitate or regret, and he will not spend his days pining and sighing over a human. (Or so he tells himself.) He will be the perfect model of an elven king if that’s what it takes to gain his people’s respect, and he will make his parents proud, not that they’re around to see it. He will . Because Scott may not care about what the Council of Elders thinks of him- he hasn’t for twenty years now- but he does care that the people of Rivendell get a leader who cares for their wellbeing. It’s the least he can do, really.

So he takes on the meetings and the paperwork and the aching, gaping hole in his chest with grim determination, ignoring the way his hands always seem to shake a little and he can never quite get warm. It’s fine. Scott is fine. He’s not going to think about golden smiles or warm brown eyes or the look on Jimmy’s face when Scott told him it was over. He’s fine .

Flipping through the stack of official mail he’s received, Scott’s startled when his hand falls on an elegant cream envelope stamped with the crest of the Ocean Empire. How long has this been here? He hurries to get it open, nearly slicing himself on the letter opener in the process.

Out slides an official invitation in neat cursive.

To High King Scott Dangthatsalongname Smajor, Lord King of the Rivendell Empire,

You are cordially invited to a royal ball to be held at the palace of Ocean Queen Lizzie Ldshadowlady, Queen of the Northern Waves and Reefs, at 8 pm on the fifth of August.

Formal attire is required.

RSVP as soon as possible.

At the bottom of it, there’s a note in slightly more rushed handwriting.

Smajor- elvenking or not, I will not appreciate it if you mess with Jimmy in any way, shape or form. This ball is to be a peaceful affair, and I will not hesitate to intervene should anything occur.

Lizzie

Scott winces. He...can’t say he doesn’t deserve the warning, any more than he can say that it doesn’t hurt to be warned away from his own husband. Ex-husband, he quickly reminds himself, reaching for stationary to pen a response.

Dear Ocean Queen Lizzie Ldshadowlady, Queen of the Northern Waves and Reefs,

He stops, giving it a bit of thought. Would avoiding Jimmy be worth the political consequences of refusing an invitation like this? No, he concedes reluctantly, it wouldn’t. He can always just avoid Jimmy at the ball- Lizzie would probably be happy for it, honestly. She’s been protective over him from the start. Scott puts the pen back to paper.

Luckily, I will be able to attend the ball. It sounds like a wonderful event and I eagerly anticipate it. As for your note, I will avoid antagonizing Jimmy as much as possible. I would hate to sacrifice diplomatic relations between our kingdoms for a petty squabble. Will that be satisfactory?

Sincerely,

High King Scott Dangthatsalongname Smajor

What’s going on between him and Jimmy is far more than a petty squabble, but Lizzie doesn’t need to know that. It’s fine. It’s not like he’s going to run into Jimmy anyways, right?

The day of the ball arrives, and Scott spends far too long choosing an outfit. He’s not vain, not usually, but...Jimmy will be there. You’re not supposed to want to impress him , Scott scolds himself, but that doesn’t stop him from wearing his nicest golden jewelry. The rest of his outfit is far more strategically planned- long skirts to hide how terrible his balance is when he’s near-constantly struggling to get a full breath into his lungs, gloves to keep his dance partners from questioning his cold hands.

The ball is already in full swing by the time he arrives, the trip from Rivendell taking longer than he thought it would. He’s still greeted by the Ocean Queen herself, though, gliding over in her stunning ballgown of blue and green.

“Welcome!” Her smile is bright, warm in a way he almost envies.

Scott dips his head just enough to be respectful but not so much as to truly defer to her. He thinks that’s right, anyways; he hasn’t had to think about that particular part of etiquette lessons in some twenty years. “Thank you, Queen Lizzie. I apologize for my lateness, the trip was a bit harrowing.”

“No problem at all, I just hope you enjoy the ball!” Lizzie’s smile gains a sharper edge. “I appreciated your letter, by the way. Thank you for your promise to keep it civil, King Smajor. Now we just all have to follow through on our words!” She accompanies that bit with a little laugh, but Scott’s not a fool enough to take it as anything but a warning. She doesn’t want trouble at her ball, and who would, really?

“Hopefully we can manage at least that,” he offers wryly, earning another laugh and a bright “Hopefully!”

Scott doesn’t mean to cause trouble at the ball, he really doesn’t. But before he has a chance to even get a look around, Jimmy’s standing in front of him. And oh, this really isn’t how he hoped it’d go.

“Lord Codfather,” Scott greets, swallowing the lump in his throat. Jimmy cleans up nicely- really nicely- but Scott’s eyes keep going to the scar on his throat, the permanent reminder of how fragile and mortal Jimmy really is.

“Elvenking,” Jimmy says. The formality sounds awkward in his bright voice, and Scott wants to kiss the uncertainty right off his face. “Care for a dance?”

He can’t- he should, Scott knows. There would be value to an alliance with Jimmy, and he has no good reason to turn him down. That’s not why he says yes, though. It’s that look in Jimmy’s eyes, the hope poorly disguised by indifference. He’s so optimistic. Scott shouldn't encourage it, but he can’t find it in himself to break that fragile hope just yet.

“I suppose I wouldn’t mind,” Scott says finally. He takes Jimmy’s outstretched hand in his own gloved one; Vilya rests on Jimmy’s finger, still, and it’s a battle to keep the memories of giving Jimmy that ring at bay. He wins that battle, though, letting Jimmy put a hand on his waist as they start into a simple waltz.

Jimmy is a terrible dancer, and Scott knows it. He steps on Scott’s feet, he gets off-rhythm- he’s frankly not made for dancing, much as the way he hums along to the tune is adorable. His hair, which was probably once nicely styled, has already fallen out of place, and his tunic is a little wrinkled. His hands are rough, tough from all the work he does with them, and his face has a tiny bit of mud on it that he must have missed when getting ready. He looks very much like a sweet little swamp boy, out of place in the midst of all the more elegant and powerful rulers.

He’s the most beautiful thing Scott’s ever seen.

Unlike the last time they danced, back in 3rd life where Jimmy leaned on Scott for balance as he tried to learn the complicated steps, this time it’s Scott clinging to Jimmy for stability. He feels bad about how harsh his grip gets, but he can’t afford to show weakness. He has to stay on his feet.

Scott’s silently thankful when the dance ends and he can lead them off the dance floor. He’s exhausted and shaky, and he’s not sure how much longer he can be around Jimmy without breaking down or doing something very stupid.

“Thank you for the dance, Codfather,” Scott says. He takes a step back, banishing the lingering emotion of their dance.

A beat of silence, and then.

“Can we please stop acting like we don’t know each other?” Jimmy demands, earning a ripple of gasps from nearby guests.

“What else do you want from me?” Scott snaps back, anger rising to fill the gap in his chest.

“I- something! Anything! Just acknowledge that I exist, won’t you?”

Scott swallows down the lump in his throat. “Acknowledging you exist doesn’t mean I can still be in love with you, you know.”

“I know,” Jimmy says. He sounds so bitter, so tired. “I know , trust me. I just want you to stop- to stop hurting yourself to try and avoid pain!”

“That’s not what I’m do-”

Jimmy cuts him off, a rare occurrence. “Then what are you doing? Enlighten me, o wise elf! You told me it would destroy you to lose me, but you’re losing me now by pushing me away!”

His chest tightens, and he can barely force the words out. “I’m trying to do what’s best for the both of us, Jimmy.”

“No you’re-”

It’s Scott’s turn to cut him off. “I am an elf, and I cannot love a mortal. Humans are quick flames, burning and changing quickly. You’ll fall in love again, and you’ll forget me.” It hurts, but it’s true. There will be a mortal who loves you- I’m sure there are many already.” Jimmy’s so wonderful, there are bound to be others who see it.

“But I don’t want a mortal,” Jimmy says. It’s almost childish, but his next words still break Scott’s heart. “I want you. ”

“You can’t have me.” Scott is vividly aware of the fact that there are eyes on him, that their little spat has attracted the attention of the rest of the ballroom.

“But why? Why, Scott?” Jimmy’s voice breaks, and the crack in it is damn near enough to make Scott lose his tiny bit of remaining self-control. “You said you loved me, you promised me all the time we’d be able to- to carve out, to steal from the universe.” It sounds like an accusation, and maybe it is. Scott did promise him that, after all, and then he went back on it.

It wasn’t for no reason, though. He needs Jimmy to understand that it was for a reason. “I can’t give you that!” He snaps back, and his hands tremble when they try to form fists by his side. “You’ll live sixty more years, maybe, a fraction of my life, a blink of an eye to an elf, and I can’t even give you that long! Not when I have to be the elvenking before anything else. Nothing I can do will ever be enough for you.” It’s bitter, but it’s true. Scott can’t be enough for anyone, in the end.

“Enough for me? For ME?”Jimmy’s voice rises in outrage. “All I want is for you not to die to your own dumb plan and acknowledge my existence once in a while!”

Scott’s voice rises in response. “And all I want is for you to realize I can’t love you again!”

“Why can’t you care about me?”

“Why can’t you move on?”

“You’re not moving on, you’re just trying to forget!” Jimmy shouts.

Scott falls silent, breathing hard as the ballroom goes quiet around them. He spots Lizzie sweeping through the crowd, coming to a stop next to Jimmy.

“Is everything alright, boys?” She’s smiling, but it’s strained, and her eyes promise death if this quarrel was Scott’s fault.

“My apologies, Ocean Queen,” he says, and he tries to gather his composure as he dips his head to her. “Everything is alright, but I am afraid I will have to leave early.” He doesn’t look at Jimmy.

She smiles again, dangerous this time. “No need to worry, Lord Smajor. Do try to avoid picking fights with my allies, next time, though.”

“It won’t happen again,” he promises, and he only nearly stumbles when he turns to leave.

Distantly, he can hear Jimmy shout after him. “Coward!” The word is harsh, but there’s hurt beneath it. “You’re a coward, Scott!”

Scott stumbles away all the quicker.

He keeps composed all the way out the doors and most of the way down the stairs until he’s sure no one can see him from the ballroom. It’s only then that he breaks into a run, lifting up his stupid skirts so he doesn’t fall. One shoe falls off, a twisted parody of a children’s fairy tale, and he doesn’t bother to retrieve it. The prismarine stabs at his exposed foot, but Scott doesn’t have the energy to care. Instead, he beats his wings, trying to get enough momentum for a good takeoff.

For a few precious moments, he gets off the ground, and then he remembers Jimmy’s face as he left, wingbeats stuttering with the sudden emotion, and tumbles back to the rough prismarine path. It hurts , it does, but it’s nothing on the pain in his chest. Nothing on the words still echoing in his head. Coward! You’re a coward, Scott!

Scott lays there for a moment, half-wondering if anyone’s coming after him. It’s unlikely, he knows, given how badly he messed things up. He tells himself that that’s a good thing, that he doesn’t want anyone to come looking. He doesn’t need them. He should be strong.

Before anyone has time to notice or be concerned, he’s forced himself back to his feet, starting the takeoff sequence all over again.

This time, he gets in the air with little difficulty, though he lists to the side as he favors his right wing, which took the brunt of the fall. It’s fine. He’s fine, he doesn’t need help.

If Scott believed in the elven gods anymore, he would thank them for the fact that he gets back to Rivendell at all. There are tears blurring his vision, and every part of his body aches, his chest most of all. His flight is shaky at best, outright dangerous at worst, crashing into trees and rocks and the ground multiple times. Each time, he barely picks himself back up before mobs arrive. Sometimes, he questions if he should at all. He’s as good as dead anyways. And yet, the tiny stubborn part of him that got him through 3rd life won’t let him just lay down and die. For some reason, even though he’s slept enough recently (he thinks, anyways), there are phantoms on him. They sense when their prey is sleep-deprived, Scott knows, and wonders if he’s just weak enough to seem that way to them.

By the time he crash-lands on the mountainside, it’s pushing two in the morning, and Scott is more dead than alive. Not that he hasn’t been for a while now, he thinks, and laughs aloud to himself, bitter.

The night watch give him strange looks, but both elves on guard duty obligingly dip their heads when he stumbles by. He barely musters the energy to nod back.

Finally he makes it back to his house, slamming his door behind him and burying his face in his hands. This is the right thing to do, why does it hurt so much? He already lost Jimmy once, why does it feel like he’s losing him all over again when he never really got him back in the first place?

Someone coughs lightly, breaking through his thoughts. The voice is familiar when they speak- one of his advisors. “Lord Smajor? Any major events we should know of at the ball?”

Cold. Calm. Scott knows this is the way of the elves- their royalty cannot dare be human. “The Codfather’s our enemy and the Ocean Queen probably hates us too.” He doesn’t bother trying to make himself sound calm and collected, pushing off the wall and stalking towards the stairs.

“What?” The advisor’s voice pitches up in shock. “What did you do?”

“None of your business.”

“You cannot have embarrassed the elven realm at the largest event of the year-”

“It wasn’t like I was fucking trying to,” He snaps.

A gasp. “Language.”

“Fuck off.”

They hurry after him, making to follow him up the stairs. “Lord Smajor-”

Scott turns to face them, taking in the shock and rage painted across their ancient face. “Leave me be.”

“Do not disrespect your elders,” the advisor scolds. “I remember when you were a child, you always were reckless, but this is a new level of disrespect! Why, Xornoth would never-”

“ Enough ,” he hisses. “Do not talk about my sibling.”

They freeze, a bit of genuine fear creeping onto their face. “My lord-”

“Get out of my house,” Scott snarls.

They wisely obey. Scott slumps against the banister as the surge of adrenaline abates, suddenly exhausted. He’s freezing, he realizes, a bone-deep chill that he doesn’t bother to pretend is from his trip home. Scott’s done lying to himself- he’s in pain, and he’s in love, but then again, those equate to roughly the same thing when all’s said and done. You can’t have heartbreak without love or love without heartbreak. (But oh how he wishes he could.)

Scott doesn’t get out of bed the next day, and no one dares try to force him. Varying members of Rivendell’s Council of Elders make a decent shot at trying to convince him, but all it takes is him fixing them with his dead-eyed stare to make them leave. The people of Rivendell are used to their ruler’s odd sleep schedule by now, brushing it off easily, and the empire itself is mostly functional without him. So instead of getting up and dealing with the corruption or making sure Rivendell’s stores are prepared for winter or any of the things he should be doing, Scott lays there in his own misery and thinks about Jimmy screaming that he’s a coward.

He’s right, that’s the worst part. Scott is a coward. He’s scared of Xornoth and the corruption and never, ever being enough, he’s scared of responsibility and his own mind, he’s scared of fading and dying alone, and- most of all- he’s absolutely terrified of how much he loves Jimmy.

His father warned him about fading, once, back before Scott was expected to carry a crown on his brow and the weight of a nation on his shoulders. He bounced Scott on his knee and told him that elven hearts are fragile, too fragile for how strongly they love. “Don’t fall too deep in love, son,” he said, and the words carried the weight of years of grief. “Don’t care too much about any one person, not if you want to live to be a legend of the ages. Doesn’t matter what kind of love it is, love can be lethal.”

Scott didn’t listen, of course- reckless, rebellious Scott, who never once listened to his elders, went and did the most dangerous thing an elf could do. He fell in love with a human.

And now he’s dying. Surely that gives him a pass to wallow in his own misery for a day or two. He’s been brave for so long, can’t he just rest a few moments? Just...just a few. He’ll just lay here a bit longer.

At that moment, the front door creaks open somewhere below him.

“My lord? Can I come up?” Someone calls from below. Their voice is also familiar- Gilnar. Gilnar’s a good captain of the guard. Dutiful, clever, and far more willing to respect him than most of Rivendell’s high ranking elves.

“If you’ve come to convince me to get up, it won’t work,” Scott calls back.

Gilnar’s head peeks over the railing a moment later. “Nope, not here for that. Just thought I’d check in, y’know?” The Sindarin words sound almost musical in their accent, rolling up and down with a unique sort of rhythm.

“Alright.”

“Are you okay, my lord?”

“No.” He’s done lying. “Leave me be.”

Gilnar shakes their head. “Sorry, my lord, can’t do that.”

“If you’re going to tell me my people need me, don’t waste your breath. I know .” Scott’s voice cracks on the last word, just a little.

“Not that either. But with all due respect, seems a little like you’re givin’ up on yourself just a bit, my lord.” They lean against the railing.

“What do you mean by that?”

They cough, a little awkwardly. “The soul-sickness. The fading.”

Scott’s mouth opens and closes, and he sputters. “How-”

“Trainin’ with the royal guard a few weeks back, your hands were freezin’ and your balance was off. You haven’t gotten up at a reasonable hour in weeks, and, well, with all due respect- I know what heartbreak looks like.”

He’s silent for a moment, utterly floored. “What do you mean by giving up?”

“Well, Lauriel and I were talkin’, and….your love’s still alive, isn’t he? The Codfather?”

“How did you-”

Gilnar flashes him a tiny grin. “He’s not subtle, and neither are you. Plus, he has Vilya.”

Deciding to shove that to the back of his mind for now, Scott sighs. “He’s a mortal, Gilnar. I’m not giving up anything that I won’t already lose in sixty years or so.”

“Luthien loved Beren, didn’t she?”

“I am not Luthien. I cannot sing so well that the gods grant me pardon.”

“And Idril loved Tuor.”

“I am not Idril. I cannot bring Jimmy to the Undying Lands.”

“Arwen still loved Aragorn.”

“I am not Arwen. I do not have the choice to give up my immortal life.”

Gilnar’s smile turns sad. “Caranthir still loved Haleth. And Celebrimbor loved Narvi just the same, didn’t he? The doomed love all the more fiercely, my lord.”

“The rest of the elves won’t be happy with me,” Scott points out.

“You think Thingol and Turgon and Elrond were happy when their daughters loved mortals? You think Luthien’s people didn’t scorn Beren at first?”

Scott doesn’t have any retort to that, and Gilnar hops up from their seat on the banister. “Well, I need to get back to my duties, my lord. Good luck with your swamp boy!”

They’re gone as soon as they arrive, and Scott stares up at the ceiling, his thoughts dragging him along a spiral of emotion.

“Coward! You’re a coward, Scott!”

Scott is a coward. He’s a liar and a coward. Nothing he does will ever be right.

“Don’t fall too deep in love, son.”

Scott did, though. Like the idiot he is, he fell in love with someone the universe didn’t want him to have.

“Caranthir still loved Haleth.”

He did. And he paid for it. Does it matter? Scott thinks that losing Jimmy might be a price worth paying for the joy of loving him.

“You cannot have embarrassed the elven realm at the largest event of the year-”

Scott didn’t mean to, but he still messed up and shouted at Jimmy. He’s a failure. Jimmy could do better. He deserves better.

“I don’t want a mortal. I want you .”

Jimmy’s so stupid. Stupid Codfather with his stupid bright eyes and stupid, stupid insistence on not giving up on someone he should never have loved to begin with. Scott loves him so much more than he could ever put into words.

“With all due respect, seems a little like you’re givin’ up on yourself just a bit, my lord.”

Jimmy deserves an apology. Scott won’t give up.

(Not on Jimmy, anyways.)

It takes him nearly a month of furious work to make the precious mithril bracelet, refining it over and over again. He picks the flowers and their meanings carefully- love, hope, protection- and the crystals too. Amethysts for protection, carefully traded for filled with any bit of magic he can spare for them. The lettering carved into the underside is yet another layer of blessings and meaning; he does it in Quenya, the Tengwar script, which Scott knows Jimmy can’t read. He has to look up how to write in it after so many years of never so much as looking at elven script, pouring over old books by candlelight. By day, he rules an empire, relying on the rush of adrenaline and motivation to carry him through even on the days when he’s swaying on his feet by the end. By night, he works on a courtship project like none he’s made before until at last, at nearly three in the morning one night, it’s finished.

It’s not the most beautiful it could have been. Scott isn’t one of the great Noldor smiths of old, he’s just an elf in love. His hands are perpetually shaky nowadays, and he has limited time to work on it between every other responsibility in his life. But every centimeter of it is handmade with all the care he could muster, and that has to count for something.

Scott hardly wants to wait to give it to Jimmy, but he forces himself to try and wait for morning. His anxiety doesn’t let him sleep much, exhausted as he is, but he curls up under the covers and stares at the bracelet on his nightstand. He doesn’t want to take his eyes off it, half-convinced it will vanish if he does. Eventually, his eyes slide shut of their own will, carrying him into an uneasy sleep.

He wakes up long after the sun's risen, staggering out of bed and throwing on a cloak for the journey to Jimmy’s. The cold that he’s been banishing with the warmth of a forge has returned tenfold, and he’s shivering despite elves normally being resistant to chills. When he takes a glance at himself in the mirror, he finds that his hair is out of place, there’s a streak of ink across his cheek, and the dark circles under his eyes look like bruises. He looks a mess, and he doesn’t care. Jimmy is all that matters now.

The journey’s both long and rough, and his landing in the swamp is more like a frantic swan dive out of the sky. Luckily, though, the ground is soft here, and Scott’s able to pick himself up and hurry for Jimmy’s house, ignoring the stares of a few Codland citizens. He knocks, heart in his throat as he waits for the door to open.

The hinges squeak, and suddenly Jimmy’s standing there, a mix of emotions that Scott doesn’t even want to try and comprehend scattered across his face. He looks a little sleepy despite the fact that it must be near noon, and so very sweet with his hair falling in his face. The sight of him knocks the air right out of Scott’s lungs, and he has to struggle to remember why he’s here again for a long moment as they stare at each other.

“Hi,” Scott says weakly.

“Scott? What- why are you here?” Jimmy sounds outraged, and Scott can’t blame him.

Scott swallows hard. “I came to apologize.” His tired brain scrambles for words, something, anything to convey how truly sorry he is. “I was scared- I am scared. I’m terrified to lose you again. But I shouldn’t have pushed you away and hurt you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have!” Jimmy snaps.

“I know.” God, he didn’t expect it to hurt this much to hear the rage in Jimmy’s voice. “I- uh- fuck.” Scott fumbles to get the box he put the bracelet in, holding it out. “I brought a gift as an apology.”

Jimmy’s silent for a long moment, examining the bracelet. Scott barely dares breathe as he turns it over and over in his hands, tracing the flower designs with his fingertips. “Did you make this yourself?”

“Mhm. I did my best, but it’s not as nice as I’d like.” And, well, isn’t that just the story of his life?

“It’s pretty,” Jimmy says. He sounds genuine.

Scott lets out a breath, letting some of the tension go. “It’s spelled, too. Protection, good fortune, that sort of thing.”

“Do the flowers mean something?”

“They do.”

Jimmy doesn’t press for details.

“I-” Scott starts, and then pauses. What does he say? An apology would be a start, maybe. “I’m sorry, Jimmy, I really am. I won’t ask you to forgive me, but I needed to apologize before my time ran out.” It’s the truth, as wholly as he can bear to give it.

“Is it that- that dire?” Jimmy’s voice shakes a little, and Scott gives a tiny nod.

“This is what I chose to do with it. Making that, coming here. You deserved an apology.”

Jimmy goes quiet again. His eyes are still on the bracelet, and Scott can hardly breathe again.

Finally, he can’t take the tension. “It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to love me. I can’t promise you eternity. I can’t promise you happiness. I can’t promise you that I won’t have to be the elvenking first and a husband second. But I am still yours-” he’s always been, really- “if you’ll have me.”

The silence that falls after that is even more stifling than the previous two. Scott doesn’t expect Jimmy to want him back- far from it. He’s putting his heart in Jimmy’s hands, but he doesn’t expect anything other than it shattering on the floor. Maybe Jimmy will be kind enough to let him down gently, but Scott’s fragile enough that it would only take a tiny nudge to break him. And yet he can’t stop the tiny bit of hope that blooms, though it dwindles minute by minute as Jimmy stares and stares. Finally, he opens his mouth to make his apologies again and leave to his frozen, icy empire-

And then there are hands in his hair and lips on his, warm and sudden and bold. Scott gives a little startled gasp, which is swallowed up by Jimmy’s kiss. Their noses knock together and Jimmy’s teeth click against his just a little in their haste, but Scott’s far too overwhelmed by the sudden rush of warmth to care.

When Jimmy finally pulls away, Scott’s left breathless, cheeks warm in a way no part of him has been since Jimmy died in 3rd life.

He barely pulls himself together enough to manage a wry little “So, I’ll take that as you want to stay married?”

“Of course I do! You absolute idiot!”

Jimmy sounds so startled and offended at the idea that he wouldn’t , Scott’s not sure whether to laugh or cry. “Just checking.”

Jimmy kisses him again in response, and who’s Scott to protest? No, he’s more than happy to let Jimmy pull him close and kiss away the lingering sorrow. When Jimmy pulls away this time, he’s left dizzy, half caught up in the euphoria of being loved, half terrified that this is only a cruel dream.

By the time Scott collects himself again, Jimmy’s holding out the bracelet to him. “Can you help me put this on?”

Scott can only nod, fumbling with the clasp a little. It’s not complicated, but his hands aren’t steady, and it takes him a moment to get it. Jimmy grabs his hands when he lets go, and he’s so warm that Scott can’t muster the energy to even question why.

“Come in and catch up with me?” Jimmy offers.

Scott nods again, and he can’t bear to let go of Jimmy’s hand when Jimmy turns to go inside.

They talk a lot, Jimmy more than Scott. Scott learns that Jimmy’s been picked on by other rulers (no surprise, but his blood still boils at the thought), and he shares minimal details about what he’s been up to. Jimmy doesn’t need to hear about Scott’s issues, he’s already dealing with enough.

Eventually, though, the sun is starting to set.

“I need to get home,” Scott says, though he has to force himself to. “You need sleep, not to stay up all night talking.” He goes to get up, and Jimmy immediately lunges, catching his sleeve.

“Don’t go! Please.” Jimmy sounds almost afraid, which instantly sets off alarm bells.

“Jimmy, darling, we both need to sleep,” Scott tells him, very patiently.

“We can sleep! I just….nevermind.”

Now the alarm bells are really going off in Scott’s head. He knows when his husband is hiding something serious, and Jimmy’s frantic tone isn’t helping his worry. “No, no. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jimmy claims.

Scott frowns at him lightly. “ Jimmy .”

That’s all it takes. “I don’t want to be alone!” Jimmy blurts. He’s blushing a little. “It’s just, I’ve been alone for a long time, and there’s this demon thing that keeps showing up, and I’ve only just got you back, I’m not ready to let you go, and-”

Oh, Jimmy . Scott holds up a hand in a ‘stop’ gesture. “Hold on. What was that about a demon?”

“There’s this demon creature that I keep seeing, and it’s really messing with me. It sounds like you, sometimes, but all distorted, and I can’t handle it! You know me, I’m not brave or smart or anything, I’m just Jimmy!” Jimmy’s voice pitches up with distress, and Scott’s heart aches for him.

“Alright,” he says, as gently as he can manage. “How about you come to Rivendell for the night, then? I can protect us both easier there.” More like, Aeor can protect them. Scott’s useless, even with Vilya.

Jimmy nods and takes Scott’s hand with a tiny little “Thank you.”

“Always,” Scott murmurs. It comes out softer than he means it to, though it’s the truth. He’ll always do whatever he can to protect Jimmy, which is why he asks “Do you still have the ring I gave you?”

“I do, I just… give me a moment to remember where I put it.”

“Good. It’s important.” Vilya is one of the most important parts of his heritage, actually, and his advisors would pitch a fit if they knew he had given it to a mortal. For once, he can’t bring himself to care what his advisors would think, though. Jimmy is important, more important than any piece of jewelry.

Jimmy follows Scott to Rivendell, and Scott can’t resist a proud smile when Jimmy praises the buildings. He takes Jimmy inside, lets him curl up under the warm covers, his head tucked against Scott’s chest, and it’s only once Jimmy’s asleep that Scott lets himself break. He’s so tired , so utterly exhausted from being brave for so long. Even now that his husband is curled up next to him, warm and solid and real, he can hardly believe that Jimmy actually wanted him back- wanted him at all, really. Scott doesn’t want to move for fear of waking up Jimmy, but luckily for him, he’s good at crying silently. That’s what he does, tears slipping down his face to wet the pillow below. Only the faintest whimper escapes his lips, a tiny broken noise that he’s embarrassed of even in this emotional state. And when another slips out, he buries his face in Jimmy’s hair and forces himself back into silence. He’s not going to cry over the best thing that’s ever happened to him, he isn’t , but he’s just so tired of being alone that being with someone else is almost painful in contrast; he’s so cold that the slightest touch of warmth feels burning.

Jimmy shifts in his sleep, mumbling something that sounds vaguely affectionate and pulling Scott closer, and Scott nearly chokes from the effort of restraining a sob. Gods, Jimmy . He could die like this, tucked in his husband’s arms, and he doesn’t think he’d regret it.

“I love you,” he whispers into the night. It comes out choked. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry, Jimmy, I’m so sorry.”

Jimmy mumbles something that sounds a lot like “I love you too”, and that’s what really breaks Scott. It’s a miracle Jimmy doesn’t wake up, really, with Scott’s quiet sobs shaking the mattress. He cries until he’s all out of tears, as silently as he can manage, and only then does he slip into a sound sleep.

#scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #flower husbands #empires smp #my writing

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thecitythatdoesntsleep · 3 years

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Vampire Master-Guide

First of all I want to start off by saying I've gathered inspiration from MANY vampire medias. Fictions, games. The biggest influences are Vampire the masquerade (primarily bloodlines) and Vampire Knight (manga). As well as honorable mentions to Vampyr (game), Queen of the Damned (movie) and Van Helsing (movie, anime). So if anything sounds familiar, chances are it is. I highly encourage you to explore them as they are a few of my favorites.

Second of all this is going to be massive, so I'll be putting it under a cut. But it will be a comprehensive guide to my personal vampire lore that I've crafted and worked with through the years. If you like it, feel free to use it! I'd absolutely love to be tagged (so I can shower the creations with praise) but it's not required. I'm just out here making one more version of vampires that hopefully inspires you. There will be a couple different categories that I will touch base on.

History (this part is super short)

Physicality - Medical Information

Physicality - Appearance/Body

Mental Effects

Society

Anything from my vampire lore will be tagged #vlor

Now follow me under the cut, lovelies. But please be Warned: We'll be discussing blood, violence, physical and mental illness. As well as regular vampire related things. If any of this could trigger you, please kindly skip this post because you're far more important to me!

'History'

The original vampire to walk the earth, cursed by the heavens was Caine. After committing the first murder, a blood-soaked punishment was to forever be banished to walk the darkness with a constant reminder of his crimes. Thirst. Craving for the same blood he shed against his own kin. The sin was carried through the years and he came upon another outcast kindred by the name of Lilith, cursed by God in a different way and hexed with powerful disciplines.

They bonded as kine and Lilith taught her chaos to Caine in hopes they'd rule together. In the end his nature stayed true and his now empowered wrath befalls Lilith, committing murder yet again and taking her life.

To feed upon and be fed, was a now animalistic instinct that spoke louder than supposed human nature ever could. And thus the curse spread. To anyone that drinks from the tainted or is bitten by a rabid, is surely to bear it at the final heartbeat. The path to redemption is sealed but survival is nearly infinite. So long as the beast is obeyed and satisfied, there is no constraint on lifespan. They will be damned to an eternity enslaved to thirst.

(Primarily from VTMB but I really like the idea of it being some sort of ancient curse from the gods so I thought I'd include this tiny historical bit. Onto the good stuff.)

Physicality - Medical Information

Vampires are anemic, let's just establish that all vampires are what modern day medicine would consider anemia. But they also have super aggressive red blood cells that function x100 that of human white blood cells. All in one combo of super cells. No illness spreads. No disease can contract, nothing can live in their system. They don't fall ill with colds or flu. STD's aren't feasible. Their systems are far too strong and combative to infections, bacteria.

Their integumentary systems regenerate about x200 - x300 times faster. Within seconds (if there is or has been fresh blood in the system recently) their skin regenerates and goes even beyond that. Mere hours and limbs grow back, bones realign.

Vampires don't have functioning organs. (If they are turned from humans they are there but they don't work and will eventually wither.) Hearts don't beat, lungs have no need for air.

Vampires can't drown. They don't breathe and even if water fills their lungs, they would be weighted down but not die. They also don't float like humans do naturally.

Vampires can go out in the sun but they have hard times with sun poisoning. Think of a sunburn but more like a rash. They can't process the vitamin D very well and almost all of them have trouble with getting severely burnt very rapidly or having a rash from the sun. Prolonged exposure can make them feverish, nauseated and give them body cramps and fatigue. Even longer can make them violently ill and can essentially melt their skin. It can be healed but takes longer.

Staking their hearts immobilizes them but does NOT kill them. They can be detained this way and it is excruciatingly painful. But it doesn't kill you.

Vampires can't eat food. Only few can consume liquids aside from blood. They have no ability to digest it and no longer make acid. They'll usually heave it up along with whatever blood content is left in their gut.

They have perfect eyesight, hearing, hyper senses of taste and smell. Touch is extremely sensitive as well. Their skin isn't fragile, in fact it's a bit thicker than average skin from how fast it regenerates and is constantly maintaining itself.

They are very resistant but not impossible to scar. Scars from human life are erased with first turning.

Vampire blood tastes like flat soda or icky, room temperature tap water. Unpleasant to other vampires but in a desperate pinch, it will sustain but nowhere near as good as foreign blood does. Even animal blood takes better care of a vampires system than another body of recycled blood. (Think of it as they've already taken the good stuff out of it for their own bodies so all that's left is the taste and a few stray nutrients.)

Vampires fangs grow back indefinite. At about x10 the rate of humans losing and replacing their first set. No matter what comes of them, their fangs will always grow back. No other teeth mutate like this.

Fangs lengthen and retract when around blood or not. It's not something that can be helped or even trained out. When blood is present, fangs will lengthen even if there is no intention to feed. Automatic reaction and a painful one at that. They get used to it but it's a sharp pain like having a human tooth extracted but it doesn't have prolonged swelling or discomfort. Only when getting longer or retracting back in.

Whenever they're in bloodlust or a state of starvation, they gain a sense of x-ray vision but instead it's vein mapping. They can see through skin to arteries and if it's severe blood lust, they can even see the smaller, tinier veins in fingers and faces. This is a sight that ever vampire possesses in order to obtain blood easier or figure out a good place to bite. Anything that is living will be seen in a structure of veins. Animals, humans, other vampires.

Severing the brain stem from the body is one of the few sure-fire way to kill a vampire. Alternatively burning them to pure ash and scattering them or holding them in separate vessels. (If ALL ashes are contained somehow and mixed with fresh blood, there is a reanimation process so beheading them is more permanent.) Silver weapons or exposure to silver prior to wound can result in death as well.

Alcohol is SUPER effective when they drink it. Think of one shot making them drunk because it hits their bloodstream almost immediately. A double would have them seeing double and acting like a hot mess. 3+ for even the beefiest of men would have them blacked out and vomiting on the sidewalks.

Drugs effect them but only in extremely high doses and for nothing really over 2 hours or so. Short, short longevity but they have the same crash that humans do. If it's hard detoxing symptoms for humans, it's the same but faster. They can do a hard drug, feel the high for maybe 1 - 2 hours and immediately go into hallucinating and shaking from the aftermath. The same goes for Pharmacia. There's really no medicine that works.

Garlic is a myth. So is wolfsbane.

Silver on the other hand is a very real, very deadly weapon that still rings true. A single pinprick of a silver sewing needle and it can render a vampire powerless. Slow them down to the speed of a human, take away their rapid healing and remove all of their heightened senses. Silver directly into the bloodstream essentially renders them as they were before they turned in physical response and structure. It's the only metal that burns vampires skin and will char it if it sits in one spot for too long. Silver is the only kind of metal that can forge chain that vampires cannot break and can successfully be restrained in. Any wounds inflicted in silver take longer to heal.

They can't reproduce after being turned. Purebloods + Purebloods are the only exception and it's still extremely rare. (Only 9 children born in over 2,500+ years.)

Physicality - Appearance/Body

Whatever color their eyes are, blood-lust accentuates the brightest color. I.e: Brown eyes turn Yellow/Gold, Blue eyes turn White/Purple exct. (Different powers can change this depending on the vampire and their history, sire.) Just think neon, glowing eyes in the dark if they're thirsty or hunting.

They stay frozen in whatever physical appearance they're turned in. Their metabolism is whack so they don't really lose or gain weight, it's down to cosmetic changes or cosmetic surgery. Which at least it heals flawlessly and doesn't ever change. But there aren't many options for personally invested physical change.

Their hair and nails grow super fast.

Vampires usually have the hair color they have when they are turned but around 15% experience graying or whitening of their hair within a few days of turning. Due to a semi-common genetic string in humans.

Vampires don't tan. They burn. No matter what their skin color is. Most are the palest/pasty tone of their natural skin color merely due to anemia and lack of blood circulation.

They don't blush or show physical signs of fever.

Vampires don't sweat or flush when exerting or exercising. They don't have to regulate their body temperatures.

They get dry skin pretty often and it's important to combat it with baths and soaks and lotions/oils whenever possible.

They are usually a lukewarm body temperature. As low as 15°C|59°F to as much as 21°C|69.8°F.

Every vampire has a certain amount of charming allure to them. In whatever form or fashion suits them the best, it's a natural attractant to their human counterparts. A glint to their eyes, a certain smile, the pitch or timbre of their voice. Endearing, seductive, mysterious, whichever shines through in their personality. They are magnetic, attractive to the human eye, no matter what they tend to look like.

They can see themselves in aluminum coated mirrors. Just not silver.

Mental Effects

There is a staggering 95% probability that 'created' vampires will have amnesia unless turned by a pureblood/noble/king/queen/high ranking blood vampire. They remember nothing of their human lives and this is extremely common. It's actually very rare to remember anything prior to your awakening. (That's why there are usually strict laws about siring without consent and proof of consent.)

It is very easy for vampires to be blinded by fits of rage when starving for blood. They can fly into blind anger and attack people they normally wouldn't or even foes they have no chance of winning against. Depending on their remaining strength when this tipping point of starvation happens; it can be extremely dangerous to be around.

Most turned vampires suffer a psychotic break in their early turning years. (Between 6mo and up to 25 years of awakening age. I.e: from the date of being bitten.) The brain is the last thing to be altered in the physical process and because of this, it's believed that their mental state has to crumble to be built better. It's unknown as to exactly why this happens but it's almost guaranteed. It's the vampire equivalent of 'adolescence'.

Over 75% of vampires experience periodic depression and random bouts of sadness. Another 39% live with bouts of mild to moderate psychosis. (This has been suspected to happen because of the physical stasis and improper circulation of chemicals/hormones/exct. Many believe it's because of the guilt of their King, Caine.)

Mental illnesses that aren't born from physical imbalances are in cases of amnesia, cured. Those that are chemically related are usually worsened by the stagnant physical changes of vampirism. It's rare that those with amnesia remember their traumas or emotional upsets after turning.

The "amnesia" of turning is the death of a human psyche. With the staggering rate of permanent amnesia, it is hard to figure out exactly how it happens but it's widely known.

Society

Humans are not fully aware of vampires. This still rings true with the fear of world war and or wiping out the human race given their species.

There is a high society "government" type of monarchy. Each clan or type of vampires has a leader "elder". This is usually the oldest vampire to date of that specific type. Sometimes it's a group or a family of elders. In most modern day they have adapted to a more "presidential" route and have to establish themselves as leader types to be considered for any kind of law making or enforcement. (I.e: Noble bloodline, diligent efforts of servitude such as public service, military or other.)

There is a strict law against turning humans. Vampires are required to have clearly given consent and the process is to be looked over by an elder or enforcer. They must show strenuous documentation of that persons preservation in the name of probable amnesia. They must have a comprehensive processing of that persons interests, personality traits, societal standing, proof of occupational termination, familial status and situational agreement. (Basically they don't want humans forgetting their lives entirely and they want to make sure that they are able to move somewhere or hide from their families until they're well trained enough to be around them again. It's a very long to legally accomplish it.

Every city handles turning differently. Some require the sire to pay the death penalty and others are strictly against killing the one person responsible of their turned kindred.

Vampires are in every day jobs, doing anything and everything that humans do. From trash collecting, to law and doctors. Fame, fortune, poor, criminal; they all live as many walks of life as humans do.

Anti-vampire establishments are alive and well. Most are run by other vampires. Some humans share their beliefs but most typically it's a resounding amount of vampire extremists. This is legal due to the fact that they try to adhere and coexist for their sanctions ordinance. Helping enforce justice for their regions and implore an opposing force for rampaging vampires or other law breaking kindred.

Most human killings are covered up, tampered with or has someone on the inside working on doing both. It's a constant job but a needed one to keep their existence safe from being proven.

There is a massive shortage on vampire doctors serving other vampires or studying from what little information there is on vampirism. The ratio looking like 1 to 300. 1 doctor for every 300 vampires.

The most vampire dominated and lucrative occupations are generally law, publishing and sex working. There are 3 vampires with these jobs to every human worker.

Here is an additional post about how vampire blood would effect humans.

So that was everything I could think of for the time being. I may continue to edit and update this as I have time or I think of something that I haven't touched base on yet. But this is just the general lore I work with when I do write about vampires or when I think about them in general. Feel free to skip certain parts or like.. adapt it however you'd like. I made this to more so inspire people not to show a list of HOW things should go. Take of it what you like and ignore what you don't! Add more if you think of something!

Some of it gets a bit random but it's still things that I've either incorporated in some unpublished fics or talked about with some friends or just fantasized about in general. There's bits and pieces in all media for vampires that I really enjoy and I think every new style spins something different and makes for wonderful content!

#whump prompt #vampires #vampire prompt #whump list #character development #character reference #character sheet #vampire reference #character guide #vampire #vampire list #tw blood #tw violence #tw vampires #vlor

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tabloidtoc · 3 years

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National Enquirer, May 10

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince Charles orders Prince Harry to divorce Meghan Markle

Page 2: In a sniveling fit of pique, scorned Alex Rodriguez has trashed former fiancee Jennifer Lopez as a dud in the sack and A-Rod is moaning J. Lo drove him to chase excitement elsewhere because she couldn't keep up with his sex demands and Alex is defending his piggish behavior by saying Jennifer pushed him into it and their spark died long ago, and they were barely intimate for the best part of a year before calling it quits -- Jennifer would pack on the PDA for the cameras, but the moment they were in private she pushed Alex away and even made him sleep in a separate bedroom and he says it was like dating an ice queen and pities the next guy she ropes in -- Jennifer thought she and Alex had a pretty good connection during their happier times, even though she'd likely admit things really petered out toward the end when the lack of trust set in so it will sting her that he's trashing her skills in the bedroom

Page 4: Robert De Niro is getting pummeled by estranged wife Grace Hightower's free-spending ways and his bitter spouse is intent on taking the aging legend for every penny as their nasty divorce drags on -- Robert's lawyers argued in court that greedy Grace's extravagant lifestyle has forced him to take every job he can snag, causing the 77-year-old to toil 12-hour days, six days a week and what's more, Robert's Nobu restaurant business has hit hard times and his tax bills to Uncle Sam are piling up but he is reportedly worth a whopping $500 million, and Grace's lawyers have countered he's pleading poverty but regularly charters a helicopter to Sunday brunch, a charge denied by his lawyer and her attorneys also claimed Robert frequently flies to Florida on a private plane and spends millions and millions on himself -- meanwhile, Robert's relationship with 66-year-old Grace has taken such a nosedive, she's spending frivolously just to punish him and she's walked into a shop a spent $80,000 in 15 minutes and she will go on vacations to the Bahamas, stop at the duty-free store and pay four times the price of what things usually cost and she has more wigs than Imelda Marcos had shoes -- Robert met Grace in 1987 when she was working as a waitress in London, and they married a decade later but they split in 1999 then reconciled and renewed their vows in 2004 before finally calling it quits in 2018 -- De Niro has forked over as much as $375,000 a month to his spouse since their split and the financially squeezed star may resort to doing product endorsements just to pay the bills -- under the terms of the couple's prenuptial agreement, once Grace and Robert are finally divorced, she's allowed a $6 million home, $500,000 cash and $1 million in annual alimony, but her lawyers have argued she should be entitled to half his fortune

* Nearly two years after Hayden Panettiere accused ex-boyfriend Brian Hickerson of brutally attacking her, the bully was sentenced to serve time in Los Angeles after he pleaded no contest to two felony counts of injuring a spouse or girlfriend, and the remaining charges of battery, assault with a deadly weapon and dissuading a witness were dismissed and he was hit with 45 days behind bars and four years' probation but he'll get credit for 12 days served -- he's done his own damage and will pay a permanent price for it -- meanwhile, Hayden is now in a great place in her life

Page 5: Danny Masterson has dragged Leah Remini into his rape case, claiming her docuseries Scientology and Its Aftermath influenced his alleged victims to file police reports against him -- former Scientologist Leah offered the women inducements and benefits to report Masterson to cops, his lawyer Tom Mesereau told a L.A. criminal court -- Danny, a 45-year-old Scientologist and That '70s Show alum, has pleaded not guilty to charges he raped three women in separate incidents between 2001 and 2003 -- Mesereau also called an LAPD detective who worked a second job as security for Leah a double agent and questioned how a 2000 police report made by one alleged victim went missing, but Deputy District Attorney Reinhold Mueller dismissed Mesereau's double agent claims as hyperbole and said the defense got a copy of the missing report and Mesereau's request to push back Masterson's preliminary hearing, a Scientology delay tactic, was also rejected

Page 6: Kelly Osbourne's shocking relapse after nearly four years of sobriety occurred amid intense family drama for the former reality show clan -- Kelly's mom Sharon Osbourne's exit from The Talk amid racism claims by co-hosts and dad Ozzy Osbourne's struggles with crippling Parkinson's disease and excruciating nerve damage frazzled her and she confessed she relapsed and she's not proud of it, but she's back on track and she's truly learned that it is just one day at a time -- her parents' problems weighed heavily on 36-year-old Kelly, who first struggled with substance abuse in her teens, and there's no doubt her mother's scandalous exit from The Talk played a big role as Kelly was crushed over the beating Sharon took in the press and retired rocker Ozzy's relentless suffering also pains Kelly and throw in brother Jack Osbourne's progressive MS and she's dealing with a lot

Page 7: Distressed Dolly Parton is ready to stage an all-star country intervention for her party-hearty goddaughter Miley Cyrus after recent photos of the troubled wild child swilling booze triggered alarm bells for Miley's family members and inner circle, including Dolly who has acted as a mentor to Miley and Dolly has always fussed over Miley like a mother hen and she's worried Miley is going to throw away her career and her life -- 75-year-old Dolly is so concerned about 28-year-old Miley that she's talked about reaching out to other country icons to arrange a meeting with the former Disney child star and help her consider her options and Dolly wants to enlist women she knows Miley truly admires, like Reba McEntire and Loretta Lynn, and organize a sit-down and Dolly knows if Miley hears from legends who achieved so much in the music industry, she's likely to understand any mistakes she makes now can affect her life forever -- every time Dolly thinks Miley's got her demons beat, she hears of another slip-up, so she feels like it's time to take action and Miley's parents Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus, who are good pals of Dolly, are thankful for Dolly's concern because Billy Ray and Tish have tried talking to Miley, but she tunes her parents out and they agree their daughter is more likely to respond to Dolly and her legendary friends

* Angelina Jolie blamed her ugly divorce with Brad Pitt for dashing her dreams to direct movies -- she and Brad split in 2016 and the two have been locked in a mudslinging legal slugfest ever since -- Angie says she love directing, but she had a change in her family situation that's not made it possible for her to direct for a few years and Angie, who last directed 2017's First They Killed My Father, said she needed to just do shorter jobs and be home more, so she kind of went back to doing a few acting jobs

Page 8: Shamed sleaze Matt Lauer has been snubbed by his old Hamptons crowd, and it's got the scandal-scarred scumbag down in the dumps and the super-rich who live and socialize in the fashionable high-society playground won't forget how Lauer was axed from his longtime Today gig over bombshell allegations of sexual misconduct and Matt's done everything he can to regain his place in the community, from hanging out in the village to splashing money around and tipping too well and he's convinced he can make a comeback, but snooty residents turn their noses up and it must be difficult for him because it's tough for anyone who wants to get in with this crowd but for Matt it's become almost impossible -- with scandal raging, Lauer's marriage to Annette Roque collapsed and they divorced in 2019 after a two-year separation and they share three children, daughter Romy, 17, and sons Jack, 19, and Thijs, 14, and Lauer has denied any wrongdoing and insisted his reputation was wrongly smeared in a media feeding frenzy intent on destroying him -- after his divorce, Matt hooked up with public relations guru Shamin Abas and the two have reportedly been pals for years and were first linked when Matt took her to his New Zealand home in December 2019 and Matt's friends are saying he's talking about a big Hamptons wedding when he and Shamin make things official, but it would be a failure if no one attends but Shamin has a lot of connections, so maybe that will help in time -- Matt's obviously an embarrassment in the area and he's not getting much joy at the swanky country clubs he likes to frequent either and it's clear to see that doors from many A-listers, like Martha Stewart, Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson, who have had ample time to put out the welcome mat and Matt won't be getting invites to their homes anytime soon

Page 9: Kourtney Kardashian is packing on the PDA with new boyfriend Travis Barker and insiders said her desperate bid to compete with her sisters has gone way over the top and ever since Kourtney and Travis first went public, the oldest Kardashian sibling has made it a point to post the couple's passionate romps in racy pics and videos on social media and people in her circle feel it's beneath her to advertise her personal moments like this and even her family thinks it's unflattering, but she's getting a kick out of showing off her wild side and Kourtney has been desperate to raise her profile to keep up with internet-savvy sisters Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian, who promote themselves by posting incessantly and Kourtney was always more low-key, but now she thinks she needs to be outrageous to keep up but her friends and family say it's not who she is, and she should put a lid on the steam

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Alison Brie helped tend to newly planted trees in Malibu, Chris Rock tuned out the world with a set of headphones while walking in Miami, Dylan McDermott plays a bad guy on Law & Order: Organized Crime, Dancing with the Stars pro Sasha Farber buzzed around L.A. on an electric bike, Margot Robbie skating in Malibu

Page 11: Paula Abdul is filling in for Luke Bryan on American Idol, but she's gone crazy with fillers and Botox to the point where she can barely move her face -- 58-year-old Paula, one of the show's original three judges who left before the ninth season, jumped at the chance after Luke tested positive for COVID-19, but when she showed up for work, she was far from the familiar face everyone was expecting and she must have given her co-hosts quite a fright because her face is blown up like a balloon and her forehead has no lines and her eyes have no crinkling at the corners that you would normally expect on someone who's pushing 60 and people are saying she never did know when to quit and this time she's really gone overboard and it was a shame, since it's no secret she'd love to make a comeback on the show and she's still in fantastic shape, but it's kind of sad to see her fall victim to these Hollywood trends as she's a lovely lady and should leave well enough alone -- her heart-shaped face may predispose her to a slower aging process than longer facial shapes

* Jessica Simpson has plumped up her kisser, but one expert thinks her new inflated piehole would look better on a fish because she's gone overboard with filler in her lips and the end result is an unnatural and very unattractive look because the M-shape of the middle upper lip is distorted, creating a fishy appearance she surely wasn't going for

Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- James Bond will be gunning for Top Gun: Maverick on movie screens in November, and Tom Cruise isn't happy -- moving the Top Gun sequel from July to November has left Tom shaken and stirred and no one is more competitive than Tom and going up against the new 007 film starring Daniel Craig has put the fear of God into him because Tom likes to win and coming in second is not an option so get ready for an all-out box office war between Tom and James Bond and this is going to get ugly

* Just out-of-the-closet Colton Underwood has been invited back to his old stomping grounds on The Bachelor but he won't be the new Gay Bachelor, but there's been talk about him returning to help contestants through the process -- he'll literally play the gay best friend who helps the straight contestants find love

* Bridgerton stud Rege-Jean Page won't be back for season 2, but crossing the show's powerful producer Shonda Rhimes was not smart because Shonda is not used to being told no, especially by an actor no one had heard of before she cast him -- Rege-Jean was naive about the business of Hollywood, but he's learning fast but saying no to Shonda is a move he's now thinking twice about

* Irina Shayk had her hands full during a photo shoot in NYC (picture)

Page 13: Racy reality series The Bachelorette has so disgusted some American viewers, they've flooded the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) with complaints and calls to yank the sexy show from TV -- according to documents, a season 16 dodgeball game that turned into a stripping competition among Clare Crawley's suitors in 2020 especially fueled viewers' rage, even though the aired footage was blacked out to protect the men's privates but the game was not over until one team was fully naked

* Matchmaker Olivia Newton-John is itching to play Cupid for longtime pal John Travolta as her Grease co-star approaches the one-year anniversary of the death of his beloved wife Kelly Preston and Oliva would like nothing more than to bring some joy and happiness back into John's life and she has lots of beautiful, fun-filled lady friends from the U.S. and Australia she could set John up with but he may not be ready for a new romance, and John himself has admitted mourning is individual and experiencing your own journey is what can lead to healing and John still hasn't gotten over Kelly's death yet and it feels like yesterday to him

Page 15: Tiger Woods' former mistress Jamie Jungers is dishing about her doomed 18-month affair with the then-married golf great and the fallout that triggered her harrowing spiral into drug addiction in a juicy new tell-all -- Jamie, 38, said she met the skirt-chasing links legend, now recovering from a shattered right leg after a February car crash, during her stint as a party host in Sin City and she claimed they kicked off a fling behind the back of his wife Elin Nordegren and Tiger would often fly his new squeeze to his L.A. home for their secret trysts and Jamie said she even once signed for a package at the newlyweds' pad that turned out to be wedding photos of Tiger and his bride, who divorced the sex addict in 2010 -- but it was not too hard for Jamie to convince herself the couple's marriage was on the skids because Elin spent so much time in her native Sweden and Jamie confessed she loved Tiger in a way but knew they'd never have a real relationship -- things came to a screeching halt when the tightwad millionaire refused to help her find new digs and Jamie kept her lips zipped about the hush-hush affair for three years, but she claimed her ensuing media appearances, in which she was dubbed Mistress No. 4, left her feeling humiliated, triggering a $500 a day pill habit that led to her getting hooked on heroin and meth and homeless Jamie endured failed stints in rehab, went through detox while behind bars and hit rock bottom before getting clean in 2018 and now sober, she said of her former flame she's not in love with him anymore

Page 16: Picky parents Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin have found one thing that's even tougher than raising six kids: finding the right nanny -- Alec and Hilaria have high expectations for prospective carers and exacting demands when it comes to their duties and Hilaria is so involved with the kids, so she's especially vigilant and has the final say when it comes to hiring and firing though Alec definitely has his checklist on what makes a good nanny and try as they might, they realize they can't do everything themselves and need help, lots of it, but it's been a logistical nightmare getting a team of nannies organized as Alec and Hilaria are tough on them and firm and long hours and multitasking are a must and of course they must be quick on their toes and know what to do with a cranky set of children without losing their cool and a good disposition, a clean and tidy appearance and the ability to step in last minute when needed are all prerequisites to be a Baldwin nanny -- Hilaria and Alec feel guilty about using more help than they initially thought they'd need and typically have at least two nannies on duty and they're doing their best to keep their home from becoming a nuthouse and stay sane and even when Hilaria and Alec are both home at the same time, they still need help changing diapers and doing endless loads of laundry, preparing meals and snacks and assisting homeschooling for the older ones and making sure they all get plenty of exercise and playtime -- it's been a challenge and they won't settle for anything but the most skilled nannies, and their friends can see the efforts are paying off

Page 17: Britney Spears has taken to social media to insist she's OK, but there are increasing concerns over the singer's state of mind -- Britney, 39, has shared bizarre Instagram posts showing her maniacally dancing and also bellyached that she's trying to learn how to use technology in this technology-driven generation, but to be totally honest she can't stand it -- the wacky videos followed the documentary Framing Britney Spears, which cast an unflattering spotlight on her troubled history amid her fight to have her conservator dad Jamie Spears removed from overseeing her personal and financial affairs and Britney, who has not had control over her own cash or major life decisions since her notorious 2008 breakdown, said the documentary's portrayal embarrassed her and brought her to tears and she cried for two weeks -- still, Britney reassured fans she's totally fine and she's extremely happy, she has a beautiful home, beautiful children, referring to her sons Sean, 15, and Jayden, 14, and although Britney, who's been coupled up with 27-year-old personal trainer Sam Asghari since 2016, insisted she's enjoying herself, she was caught on camera in Malibu appearing out of sorts and she looked a total mess and she looked like she hadn't brushed her hair in days and the truth is she's wracked with anxiety and she doesn't trust anyone in her orbit except her boyfriend

Page 18: American Life -- Like many dads, J.B. Handley couldn't understand his teenage son, but in this case, 18-year-old Jamison Handley is autistic and has not spoken a word since he was born -- using a breakthrough strategy called Spelling to Communicate (STC), J.B. discovered his son was hyper-intelligent and now Jamison is graduating from high school and will go to college to study neuroscience in 2022

Page 19: Newly single Kanye West is in the market for someone to cuddle with now that Kim Kardashian is out of the picture and the National Enquirer has decided to help him in his quest: Amanda Gorman, Bjork, Quay Dash, Marina Abramovic, Maria Cristerna

* While Kanye West is looking for a new lady to be his creative muse, his estranged wife Kim Kardashian sees the dating pool as the source of her next career move -- Kim has not been romantically linked to anyone since she filed for divorce in February and she's not dating anyone because, if she were, it would be a career move and Kim can't date quietly; she doesn't even understand what that would be like

Page 22: Katie Holmes and her boytoy beau Emilio Vitolo Jr. haven't been photographed together in more than a month, leaving people to wonder if the once snap-happy couple's romance is cooling off -- after being constantly caught on camera packing on the PDAs, the coosome twosome's vanishing act has sources suspecting work stress is taking a toll -- they're still together but things aren't anything like they were, and Katie seems pretty down and Emilio has been working long hours at his dad's restaurant, which was hit hard during the pandemic and that's meant less time for him and Katie to hang out and their romance may have gone from full boil to simmer

* Hollywood Hookups -- Danica Patrick and Carter Comstock dating, Zac Efron and Vanessa Valladares split, Madison LeCroy is dating a mystery man

Page 23: Lizzo stripped nude on social media for an unedited selfie to promote body positivity in all its glory and the 32-year-old defied the haters by bravely going makeup-free and wearing only her birthday suit -- she said she's letting it all hang out to encourage girls struggling with their self-image and self-confidence to embrace their natural beauty

* Bethenny Frankel plans to spend a whopping $10 million on her upcoming wedding -- she is set to wed Paul Bernon after she was spotted flashing a ginormous sparkler reportedly worth over $400,000 and movie producer Paul, 43, has given Bethenny, 50, carte blanche to spend whatever she wants so she's thinking 50,000 roses, champagne, gilt-edged glasses, a garden setting with fountains, dancers and a choir and Bethenny wants it to be perfect and she expects the best of everything

* Julianna Margulies has admitted things were hot on the set of ER, and it was because she and co-star George Clooney had a crush on each other and the chemistry on the beloved TV series between Julianna, now 54, and George, 60, was organic, she gushed in her upcoming memoir -- she also said when you create an environment that people feel safe in, then you do your best work and George taught her that and she felt so safe with him

Page 25: Troubled Tori Spelling is convinced having a sixth baby is the only way to bring her rocky 15-year marriage to Dean McDermott back from the brink -- Tori, 47, and Dean, 54, have been living separate lives for months and she has frequently been seen in public without her wedding ring and lately they've been more like brother and sister than husband and wife, but Tori is under the impression that another baby will give them a fresh start -- Dean has tried to repair their romance by taking on more dad duties and he even pushed for a recent family getaway to Palm Springs, where Tori socked her husband with the ultimatum to give her another baby or hit the highway and it's true they got along a lot happier when she was pregnant, but a lot of people think she's being delusional since they still have a lot of issues to work through and having another kid isn't going to be a magic fix and in fact, it may even add to their problems

Page 26: Cover Story -- Prince Harry's desperate bid to make peace with his estranged royal family exploded spectacularly when his father Prince Charles gave him an ultimatum to divorce Meghan Markle or you're out forever -- the secret showdown came after the funeral for his grandfather Prince Philip that forced family members to reunite for the first time following a year of bitterness and shocking allegations and any hope Harry had of mending fences and being welcomed back went out the window when he broke Queen Elizabeth's heart by snubbing her 95th birthday right after the funeral because he flew back to California the day before her birthday and it was the last straw for Charles, who was furious and he was stunned his son couldn't wait just 24 hours more to show respect for his grandmother and felt compelled to rush back to his pregnant wife Meghan and it would have meant so much for Her Majesty, who was still mourning her husband and needs all the comfort she can get but instead Harry headed back to his ritzy $14 mansion and Hollywood lifestyle, callously leaving his grieving grandmother on what should have been her big day -- the word is Meghan ordered him back as he'd been gone 10 days, their longest separation since they wed, and she didn't want his family playing mind tricks on him, trying to convince him he should return to the U.K. -- Charles confronted his younger son about snubbing Her Majesty during a phone call from his country getaway in Wales, where Charles was grieving his father Prince Philip and considering the future of the monarchy and Charles didn't mince words and he called Harry selfish and blamed Meghan for ripping the family apart and he bluntly admitted he and other royals, including the queen herself, were deeply disappointed and very angry by what the couple said in an explosive tell-all TV special and he couldn't believe Harry would agree to such a devastating interview without pressure from his publicity-obsessed wife or her advisors and Charles told Harry he was ashamed of him for turning his back on his family and breaking his grandmother's heart and Charles said he didn't believe Harry's marriage can survive long-term and suggested that Meghan was so ambitious, she'd dump Harry when something, or someone, better came along then he shockingly told his son he would only be welcomed back if he divorced that American actress and Charles insisted divorce was the only way to save the royal family and Harry himself -- Harry faced a great deal of frostiness from other members of the family after he arrived for Philip's funeral: Princess Anne, Prince Edward, his wife Sophie and other relatives didn't even look at Harry, they are so angry with him and Meghan, and Prince William and his wife Duchess Kate tried to put on a united front, speaking to Harry as they walked away from the service, but it was all for show as the queen had ordered a truce in the feud to avoid another public scandal, but family feelings are running very deep against Harry and Meghan for quitting royal duties and trashing the royals in their interview and the truth is if Harry doesn't divorce Meghan, this rift will never be mended

Page 36: Ellen DeGeneres confessed she'd swilled three cannabis-laced drinks and popped two snooze-inducing pills before driving wife Portia de Rossi to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy -- during an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen said she'd downed a commercial beverage containing the weed compounds THC and CBD and admitted she didn't feel anything and then she drank three, and she also took two melatonin sleep pills and she's lying in bed and realizes Portia is not in bed -- after finding Portia on all fours and in pain, Ellen claimed her adrenaline kicked in and she rushed Portia to the hospital

Page 38: Gwyneth Paltrow knows at least one person who is not a fan of her catalog of sex toys: her mom Blythe Danner -- while Gwynnie loves to bang the drum for frisky female fun by hawking vibrators, whips, handcuffs, genital-themed jewelry and even a candle called This Smells Like My Orgasm, her 78-year-old mother is always shocked by her raunchy online inventory and is very proper, but Gwyneth said even proper ladies have sexuality too -- although her mom is not lining up to purchase the BDSM starter kit or the $15,000 gold-plated dildo, Gwyneth remains committed to tackling taboos related to female pleasure, saying she thinks that our sexuality is such an important part of who we are and one of the things they really believe in at Goop is eliminating shame from these topics

* The Entourage crew might get back together, with Charlie Sheen joining the gang -- the creator of the bro show and 2015 spinoff movie said he may bring the boys back with his buddy Charlie in the reboot and Doug Elin says whether he would ever be in Entourage as Charlie Sheen or whether he would create a character for him, he would be all for it -- Charlie hasn't been seen on the big screen since a 2018 guest spot on Saturday Night Live

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Sofia Vergara

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bbq-hawks-wings · 4 years

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hey! I've seen a bunch of posts on how HPSC is slightly corrupted and all, could you explain if you understand this? They're (die hard villain fans) usually using this as a justification to slam the heroes for raiding the army. I'm quite confused sorry

I’d be more than happy to, friend! I have a strong feeling it’s going to be a key detail in the story moving forward so it’s good to go back in reviewing everything we know now; plus, it gives me the perfect chance to offer up my theory that ropes in Aizawa, Midnight, and Present Mic. Buckle up, though, because this gets a little long.

The HPSC tells heroes what to do.

The Hero Public Safety Commission is a pocket of the Japanese national government in this universe, sort of like how the FDA is in America.

It’s important to note that HPSC is a separate entity from the heroes. They’re the ones giving out licenses, disciplining rouge heroes, overseeing hero training, acting as liaison between heroes and law enforcement, organizing cooperative efforts with multiple heroes across different regions, and managing the general image of heroes with events like the Hero Rankings Billboard.

Heroes have to obey directives given by the HPSC and hero schools have to align with guidelines set by the HPSC, but heroes don’t usually get a say in these decisions and often only get to complain about how things are done and are stuck doing it anyway. If someone is caught heroing without a license or not in hero uniform, you can be fined and/or jailed. If a hero doesn’t keep up with paperwork or runs off and does their own thing they can also be fined and have their license suspended. If a hero goes AWOL or completely flips out they can have their license permanently taken away and be jailed.

It’s actually even more important to note that way heroes are allowed to operate and answer to the government is actually closer in line to a militia than a police force. In fact, while heroes are allowed to make arrests and use their quirks, they are more restricted in what they can and can’t do on their own than the police. If a hero wants to work with other heroes on an investigation, they have to use the private network (administrated by the HPSC) or communicate in person. In the case with the Shie Hassaikai or looking for Kurogiri and the LoV where police cooperation was necessary to carry out the investigation and bring in the gang right away there was no choice but to be transparent with the HPSC.

However, the HPSC doesn’t have to be transparent with the heroes.

They require heroes to give up all their information to keep working as heroes, but they don’t have any accountability for themselves and have notably dodged scrutiny up to this point with public backlash almost always falling on the heroes who have little to no say in how they run things.

Starting back at the beginning of the series with the USJ incident, it understandably garnered massive media attention - it should have. Dozens of unknown, random two-bit villains poured into the most secure, prestigious hero school in all of Japan undetected and resulted in the serious injury of two teachers and could have included the students as well if All Might had not been there to fight and subdue the inhuman monster - the Nomu - who had up to that point had never been seen before.

It’s not unreasonable that UA initially got the blowback from this as it could have been chalked up to complacency causing a lapse in security that the HPSC absolutely wouldn’t have been accountable for. It’s treated like a one-off event and despite investigations going nowhere on it, it’s ultimately downplayed and checked out in the background while continuing with the Sports Festival in high spirits. However, things get worse.

After passing their semester exams the Hero Course first-years head off to do practical training in the mountains with a hero team named the Wild Wild Pussycats. Remember, because this is a hero training initiative between a school and a hero team, the HPSC is likely involved at least on some administrative level in regards to granting permission and securing the patch of mountainside to use even if this detail is not acknowledged in the series. Despite efforts to only include the staff, teachers, and heroes involved word somehow still gets out - resulting in more student, hero, and teacher injuries, and most importantly the kidnapping of one of the students.

This can no longer be swept under the rug. A lot happens in the secret hideout raid revealing lots of stuff with the plot, including All-for-One’s direct involvement, but it doesn’t add anything more to our notes besides the fact UA is once again blamed and heroes are thrown under the bus instead of the organization overseeing them.

Fast forward to the Provisional License Arc. This is the first time we see the HPSC acting explicitly. It’s noted that they passed significantly more students this year than previously. Yokumiru Mera, the tired proctor, is overworked. The HPSC has a reason to urgently pump more students into the “working force” now than it had before, though at the moment it’s written off as a result of All Might’s retirement.

During the Shie Hassaikai arc the only suspect detail we get is the fact that the raid on compound is inexplicably compromised, and somehow the yakuza knew the heroes and police were coming. We’ll come back to this and to the leaks in UA again later.

Skipping the remedial courses and school festival arc, we get to the Pro Hero Arc. Big lights, pomp and circumstance, and a massive powerful Nomu attack that nearly kills the freshly crowned #1 Hero. From this point forward, what we get of the HSPC is mainly through Hawks and his experience with him. After the fight, we get a flashback of the President of the HSPC herself telling him to ignore civilian casualties in his mission to infiltrate the LoV, that he has to do it solo, and that he can’t tell anyone. Briefly in the next chapter he says that despite his objections he can’t actually tell them no.

Hold up!

Did a government agency just tell a hero to secretly get in with the villains no matter what, and when he objects and asks whether he’s just supposed to ignore collateral damage in the process is told, “You can and you will”?! (That’s a verbatim quote from chapter 192.) I thought this agency was supposed to hep people and keep them safe!

We get smatterings of interactions between Hawks and the HPSC, and though we don’t get anything from there side we’re getting that every questionable or deplorable thing Hawks does or needs to get on the LoV’s good side is acknowledged and endorsed by the HPSC. “I’m in contact with the shady guy who loosed that monster in the middle of the city with no warning. He wants me to kill the other top hero who just recovered and to join the definitely-dangerous doomsday cult, and maybe THEN he’ll let me in on what’s going on.” Ok, sure. Nothing morally questionable about any of that...

Jump to chapter 267. Up to this point, this note about Hawks’ past has been hinted at, but is here finally confirmed with a chilling detail. Kids who enter hero work may get special coaching by their families when they’re young, but the threshold for entering formal government-regulated training isn’t until 14/15 years of age in the last few years of their education. Chapter 267 shows a little Keigo Takami no older than about 8, at best, being told by the HPSC that he doesn’t get to call himself by his own name anymore. From now on, he’s going to be a hero, and only a hero, and it’s going to long and hard. Back in 192, two mysterious figures promise the same boy, shown at the same age, that his family will be taken care of.

Whatever circumstances led Keigo’s family to end up in the situation they did, they accepted an offer from a government agency, the HPSC specifically - you can see their headquarters in the flashback - to take away their very young son, take away his identity (and implicitly his family), and groom him to be government tool for the rest of his life - a commitment he had no true say in and that he could not understand at the time.

And it gets worse.

Endeavor works with the HPSC regularly as all heroes have to, but his relationship with them and what they’ll let him get away with gets put into greater question the longer we look at it. He turned to eugenics to create a hero he couldn’t be and surpass All Might for the sole purpose of satisfying his own ego. He bought a girl from her family and forced her to have his kids, then subjected those kids to cruel training - passing over each one until he got to one he felt he could work with -, beat his wife as well, and some kind of action he was involved in lead to the death of his oldest son. While the domestic abuse could be hidden, the death of his child cannot. What’s more, shortly after (very shortly if timelines add up), his youngest son received a permanent burn scar on the heat-resistant side of his face and his wife was locked away in a mental institution for a decade.

And the HPSC never bats an eye. They could take away his license. They could call the police. They could have exposed him to the public or at least ordered an investigation. But they didn’t. On some level they knew, and they did nothing.

But it might be even worse.

I skipped over this detail chronologically, but it’s the linchpin for just how corrupt the HPSC might be if all this lines up. Looking at the Endeavor Agency Arc, we get a seemingly random confrontation with a guy called Starservant (chapter 243) who prattles off a prophecy about the Dark Lord returning and his Dark Stars conspiring against humanity which will bring the world to ruin. He calls out Endeavor specifically as the shining light that beckons the darkness, but this sounds an awful lot like the deranged wailing of some crazy old man, right?

Let’s jump over an entire series now to the spin-off serial Vigilantes. This series takes place in the same universe at an earlier point in the timeline of the main story - and take an extra little note that there’s an underlying subplot about unusual drugs meant to enhance quirks (that often result in mutating the user) and that someone may be using them to clandestinely run experiments on humans from the shadows.

In chapter 59 we get flashbacked to Eraserhead, Midnight, and Present Mic’s childhood experiences at UA, and we’re also introduced to Oboro Shirakumo - their fellow classmate and dear friend. We get a few chapters establishing their relationships and their goals and dream for the future until chapter 63 where things make a drastic turn in tone. On what should be a routine hero training exercise as third-year seniors a giant, monstrous villain shows up and attacks while the UA kids are escorting a class of preschoolers around town.

In the scuffle, though Aizawa is able to single-handedly come out victorious, in the fight and debris Shirakumo is struck in the head by falling concrete as he tries to lead the children to safety and dies on the scene. Go back to main series, chapter 254-255, the villain Kurogiri is detained but the police are having no luck questioning him. They get a sliver of a lead and call in Present Mic and Eraserhead to interrogate him, and it’s confirmed that Kurogiri was a human experiment of Doctor Ujiko - the mad scientist bio-engineer responsible for the Nomu and outspokenly faithful servant of All-for-One - created from the corpse of their dearly departed Oboro.

Here’s the kicker, though, in Japan they don’t often bury their dead. Funerals next to never include an open casket - the loved one is cremated first, their ashes placed on an funeral shrine with their picture, and the loved ones mourn there. That means Ujiko needed to get to the body before it was cremated - which requires some fast work; but that’s not even the worst of it. Jumping one last time to chapter 270, Ujiko recognizes Mic as a friend of Shirakumo and boldly admits the entire time he was after Aizawa for his quirk.

That attack more than 10 years ago was premeditated. This goes back a long ways. How did he find this information - about their quirks and their movements and where to find them? How did Ujiko get the body out of the morgue without anyone catching him? Could it be the same way his fellow servants of All-for-One were able to get into the USJ? And the Training Camp? And the Yakuza raid? All-for-One has a lot of connections for his faithful servants to move about freely in this world of heroes despite every effort being take to stop them.

Somehow, these shining lights can never seem to outrun the dark no matter how hard they try, as if there’s a conspiracy against them. But a conspiracy of that level would have to come all the way from the top! If you wanted to get poetic about it, you could even say the stars themselves are conspiring against us. But that old man was crazy, right? If he wasn’t crazy - if he was right at all - then no matter what way you slice it:

This is bad.

#I'm not the first one to comment on this meta #but that old man looks a little less crazy every chapter #bnha meta #mha meta #mha manga spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #hpsc meta

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violetnotez · 4 years

Text

SHE IS HERE. PART TWO. BY EXTREMELY POPULAR AND LATE DEMAND!!!!

This fic. THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. HAS BEEN FIGHTING SO HARD I AM DONE THIS HAS BEEN A STRUGGLE. If there are typos I AM SORRY- just msg me and ill fix it if its that bad im just tired!

Kirishima x reader

⤷Genre: Angst, Fluff

⤷Word Count: 9k+ (-this has the weekly prompt for the @bnhabookclub discord -“Im fine” :)

⤷ Warnings: slight mentions of blood, cursing, suggested spicyness at the end

⤷ Synopsis: It’s been exactly 3 months since the last time Kirishima saw you, after you had abruptly ended things with him. He’s been trying to forget you, but it’s no use-he’s still madly in love with you, and wishes he could get the truth of why you two ended. What a shocker when he gets a chance to ask his questions-and he learns the truth about your villainous life.

Song Recs: ⤷ “Breakeven”-The Script ⤷ “Lucid Dreams”- Juice WRLD ⤷ “Scars”- Lukas Graham

PART 1

Kirishima looked up at his calendar, a sad sigh escaping his lips.

That number shouldn’t be such a big deal, that plain black “11” tiny and insignificant next to all the other digits, like little ants stationary on the page.

What it represented, though, was so much more: that day so many weeks ago was so full of heartache and misery, the feeling of being lied to eating at his core for days to come.

Today, 3 months ago, was the day you confessed to him that you didn’t love him.

Kirishima has never felt so betrayed and heartbroken in his whole life: you were his first real love after all, and hearing you say your love was a lie destroyed him.

He didn’t know what to do or how to even react to that news: he had felt so numb after, so incredibly empty, it was like he was a walking shell of himself once he left your room.

His friends had tried to cheer him up constantly, always putting in the effort to lift his spirits with laughter and comfort. But the warmth of their attempts of cheering him up didn’t help him at all: he always still felt so cold inside.

It also didn’t help that you had mysteriously left UA the day after the “breakup.” When Kirishima laid his tired puffy eyes on your empty desk the next day, his heart couldn’t help but beat feverishly. He knew he shouldn’t care that you were gone, but he couldn’t help it. No matter which way he spun it, He was still desperately falling for you, even if you had broken his heart.

He had sat down, his back slumped as he eyed that empty seat with worry.

How had everything gone so wrong?

He couldn’t fathom what had gone stray-your love had honestly felt so real to him. You had told him you had only dated him out of pity-but if somebody was being forced to do something, just to spare someone’s feelings, would they have given him his first kiss so perfectly, making sure to be soft and gentle? Would they have stuck with him late into the night to help study for tests? Or give him sweet kisses on his scars when he was feeling self conscious?

It just didn’t add up-the feelings you two had were genuine and real. It couldn’t all be one sided like you had said.

He gave another look to that chair, just imagining the ghost of you sitting there, turning around and sending him that infectious smile that light up his whole day.

God, it wasn't even one whole day and he felt so incomplete without you.

Mr. Aizawa walked in, everyone scrambling to their seats and watching him intently, the room getting noticeably more quiet.

He didn’t remember much of that class-he had remembered Mr.Aizawa standing at the front of the class, his deep voice breaking his miserable thoughts when he said the class would be free of one student.

You had seemingly left in the middle of the night, your guardians notifying the school you would no longer be attending UA due to you moving. All of Class 1-A was incredibly confused, including Kirishima- you had never said you were moving, yet you somehow were just gone. As if you never existed.

It just didn’t add up to Kirishima-you would have said something about moving, or at least acted strange the weeks prior. All these events just didn’t make sense to Kirishima-the break up, your confession, you leaving-it all just didn’t add up. But he was too tired, too wrecked inside to think about it anymore. The more he tried to piece the story together the more it gnawed at him, making him feel so much more worse than he already felt. He slumped in his chair, knowing full well everyone was staring at him-you were his boyfriend after all, he should have known.

Oh wait-ex.

He slumped in his chair even more, barely the tips of his spiky red hair poking up from the desk table.

It was gonna be a long few weeks for him, he could already feel it.

Now he was past all those days of crying and breaking over you-some days he could actually forget about you and not have to worry. But on days that were permanently etched into his mind, like today, he couldn’t help but remember.

Kirishima's phone began to ring, the vibration of the call making the phone jitter against the wood of his desk. He tore himself away from the calendar, his hands instantly swiping to take the call once he saw the Caller ID.

“Hey Fat, how's it going!” Kirishima forced a smile, his voice preppy and bright as if nothing had ever happened.

“Kirishima, thanks for taking the call,” his mentor seemed to breathe a sigh of relief hearing his bright voice on the other end.

Since Kirishima was in his 3rd year, he was required to do another work study, for an even longer period of time than before. So when he was asked by Fatgum to come join the agency once again, he couldn’t help but say no. He had loved his old mentor back from his 1st year, even if he did get pretty banged up at the end of his work study. He was more than happy to join his agency again, and wanted nothing more to learn and grow to be the best hero he could be.

“I know this is pretty late in the day for you,” Fatgum continued, “but I’m going to need your help,”

“Tamaki was supposed to be patrolling on the West side of town tonight, but he got called in to help with a robbery on the North side. I don’t have anybody else to take his place, so I was hoping you could take over his shift for the night,”

“Of course! I’ll do anything you need,” Kirishima propped his phone into the crook of his neck, already rummaging around his room for his hero suit.

“You're a lifesaver Kirishima!” Fatgum exclaimed, the toothy grin he was most likely sporting practically audible.“See ya for training tomorrow then!”

“You too, Fat,” Kirishima's cheerful tone waned, a sad smile replacing his bright grin as he stared down at his hero suit.

He had already known today was going to be a tough day for him, and the fact that he was off from any type of hero work that would make him forget about his sadness didn’t help.

But now that Fatgum has given him a job tonight, he might be able to erase his mind of all the past heart ache for the next few hours. He gave himself a small smile, his hero suit beckoning him to put it on, the reds and blacks calling to him like ghosts from a dream.

He was gonna at least try to forget-just for the night.

It was now an hour before the end of his shift, and he was feeling practically tired.

The West side of town was relatively quiet, nowhere near the crime riddled areas of the North side of the city boulevard. He knew these streets well from patrolling them almost every night of his hero study, knowing each alleyway and path like the back of his hand.

Tonight was silent, only a few late night joggers or the occasional fast food joint open for any customers getting the late night munchies.

It was soft, provincial, and bitter sweet.

He was trying his best to not remember, to not remember your face, or your smile, or the way you would laugh so warmly whenever he did something amusing. He was trying not to imagine you standing by his side, your hand grabbing his and your shoulder resting on his, a happy sigh escaping your lips.

Why were still haunting him, even three months later?

why couldn’t he just forget about you?

A crash and a yell snapped Kirishima out of his memory, an angry scream of a teen being heard from the late night restaurant.

He shook his head to rid himself of those unwanted thoughts, noticing a black figure running across the parking lot into an alleyway at lightning speed.

“That-that Villian!” She shrieked, her friends trying to soothe her as she continued on her rampage, “She stole my wallet! My damn wallet! The hell-“

“Don’t worry ma’am, I’ll get it back for you, don’t worry!” He yelled towards the group, his voice warm and assuring as he sent her a toothy grin. His feet began pounding the pavement, disappearing into the alleyway in the direction of the criminal.

Your breath came out in painful huffs, your hand fumbling to put the wallet into the jacket of your Villian suit.

Damn Shigaraki and his “plans.”

Shigaraki has now concocted up his next bright idea for the League, this time relying on you stealing an ID card from a college student that looked similar to you.

While the LOV was going off stealing a bank for some extra cash, you were told to go find someone who looked similar to you in order to pass as them. for what you had no idea, but you knew Shigaraki would be extremely mad with you if you didn’t do what he asked. You shivered at the thought of him, those cold red eyes like bloody daggers ripping into your flesh.

You slowed to a stop, your breath coming out in pants as you pulled down the mask on your face, your breath finally free from the constricting fabric.

God you hated running.

Nobody seemed to be following you though, footsteps inaudible to your ears. You slinked into a dark corner of the alleyway, your hands rummaging inside the wallet for the ID card you desperately needed.

Cash, credit card, a picture of her and possibly her boyfriend,a shit ton of gift cards-

You breathed a sigh of relief, flicking out the desired card with a flourish. In the low light conditions you were in, it was hard to see her details, but you knew that it matched your complexion just enough to pass by.

Thank God, now Shigaraki wouldn’t be on your ass-

“Hey, it’s not cool to steal, man,” you heard a familiar voice echo throughout the concrete walls of the alleyway, making your blood run cold.

Shit, please not be him, anybody but him-

You instantly tugged your mask over your mouth and nose, praying to God it wasn’t him.

Maybe it was another hero, or somebody that just resembled him-

“Just give me back what you stole, and nothing bad will happen to ya,” Kirishima continued, his footsteps slow and solemn as he walked over to you, as if you were a wounded animal that could attack at any moment.

You shoved the wallet hastily into your jacket pocket, looking around, desperate for a way out.

Damn it-you were completely blocked from the back, a tall cement wall blocking your escape. The only way for you to get out was to somehow dodge Kirishima and make a run for it, or fight him.

God definitely had his favorites, and it obviously wasn’t you.

This boy was so quiet-all that hero training made him extremely agile, like a cat going forward it’s prey as he continued to walk towards you cautiously.

It was a shock to see him-he looked so much older, his handsome face making your heart squeeze painfully. He still sported his iconic red hair to match his suit, the only thing really changing was the amount of scars on his body. When you two had dated, you were so close to him you knew every valley, ditch, and scar on his body like your own.

He was getting stronger and tougher, growing to his goal while you were stuck in your life, still just a little pawn in Shigarakis decaying hands.

You didn’t feel like fighting him-you still felt guilty for the way you had ended things with him, even though it was weeks after. You knew it had to be done in order to protect him, but you also knew it had hurt him to the point of no return.

He had to have hated you now, and honestly, you didn’t blame him-it just hurt to know you lost a love you still felt. And it was your fault.

Kirishima watched your every move, not suspecting a thing-you were just another thug, another puny Villain he had to take down. Even though it was decent fun to take a criminal down, dealing with witnesses, the police, and paperwork was quite the opposite. But it’d get his mind off of his own misery.

The Villain seemed strange though-as if they were terrified by the mere sight of him. They weren’t even trying to bad mouth him, which was a definite first for him. It was hard to see in the dark alleyway, but he could make out the outline of the thief trying to quickly dodge him, trying to break into a run to get out of the cramped dead end.

Kirishima swiftly grabbed the arm of their leather jacket, pulling your squirming body close to his.

You were screaming internally-he needed to let go, he had to let go. Your heart felt like it was ripping apart, the sudden memories flooding your body as you remembered how it felt to be so close to him, to be so intimate you could see the flecks of brown in his vermillion red eyes. You didn’t want him to realize it was you, to see you as his enemy yet again. You couldn’t bear to see the heartbreak and disappointment in his eyes, your hands clawing to get away.

“Hey-just calm down a little-“ he huffed out, the words separated as he tried to keep a hold on your body.

It was strange to him though-you weren’t even talking, not a peep was spilling out of your lips. You seemed pretty young, and by your smaller frame, you were most likely female. You seemed

so scared, your eyes bright with desperation and fright.

His larger hands kept you close to him, his heart pinging with hurt-

There was no way this was you. He was going crazy-those weren’t your eyes.

But God, they looked so familiar-your eyes looked exactly like that the day you two broke up. Full of fear and sadness and guilt-

This wasn’t you, this couldn’t be you, but-if it was-

With one hand firmly wrapped your waist and another shakily reaching toward your mask, your body fighting desperately to get him to stop. Even through your attempts, he pulled the material gently off your skin, The flimsy black mask falling to the ground pitifully. your face looking down at the ground with embarrassment, now knowing your cover was blown.

Kirishima's heart beat painfully-it was you, this was you.

What had happened?

“Y-y/n?” He stuttered out, his voice caught pitifully in his throat.

You swallowed thickly, trying to shove the dry ball of embarrassment down your throat.

“H-hi Kiri,”

He quickly let go of you, his body blocking your exit as he stared at you in disbelief.

You looked so different, so unlike you-you were wearing a completely black outfit, the material shiny like wet rocks near a dark river. Your hair was pulled back painfully tight, your eyes looking down at your scuffed combat boots in despair.

You looked so defeated and so sad, as if there was no happiness left in your body.

Who even were you?

“What happened to you? Why are stealing? Where have you even been?” He bombarded you with questions, his voice getting more and more authoritative and desperate as questions flooded his mind.

You couldn’t even think to comprehend an answer to any of them-you just needed to forget this encounter ever happened. For your and Kirishima’s sanity and, most importantly, safety.

“Just let me go Kirishima,” you dodged his question, taking a step forward to push your way out of the alleyway.

Kirishima's body was bigger and stronger though, and with each shuffle you attempted he would close the gap between you two, blocking your escape solely with his body.

“No, I-I need answers y/n,” he replied. His voice sounded so hurt, so full of anguished you felt your heart break a little more. He was still hurting, and now he was confused, seeing you all dressed up and committing crimes like a low level Villian.

“I need to know what happened to you.”

You faulted in your step, staring at Kirishima with wide, mournful eyes. You made yet another attempt to surpass him, your shoulder a mere centimeters away from his as you tried to walk past him.

“Nothing happened Kirishima, please just let me-“

If you thought you were going to leave that easily, you were crazy.

He swiftly grabbed your arm, his calloused hands rough against the leather of your jacket. Even through the thick material you could feel how warm he was-he always radiated such heat and brightness.

“Why did you leave UA?” He was abrupt with his question, but the hint of softness faltered his harsh exterior-he was still worried for you.

A deep sigh cascaded from your lips, your brow starting to sweat. You were tired of dealing with this heavy burden, this spider web of lies you had created for your own self. You still loved Kiri, yes, but your relationship was over and done. There was really no fear of judgement anymore. Hell, he just saw you steal a wallet like a low level thug-how much more could he judge you in this moment?

“You want the truth Kiri?” Your voice was blunt, and monotone, a shield from your true emotions.

“You want to know who I really am? I-I’m a Villian. I work for the LOV. I only went to UA because I had to listen to Shigaraki. He needed info and I was the only one to do it.”

You sneaked a peek at Kirishima's face, a slight grimace on your lips as you anticipated the look of disgust on his face. Your heart thumped painfully, waiting for him to look at you with revulsion, but-it never came. His bright vermillion eyes still stared down at you softly, his eyes coated with worry and sympathy.

“So-you were being forced?”

“At first I wanted to do it-b-but after I while, I started to change my mind,”

he was so warm, his body heat seeping into your cold skin like a fire on a winter's night. Even now, in this dark alley, exactly 3 months from your terrible breakup-he still could make you feel safe. He was your home in the snow storm, so warm and comforting when the rest of the world was so unforgiving and icy. You relished the feeling of his calloused palms on your body, wishing those hands were on your skin instead of your jacket so they could slowly warm your whole body with their wonderful heat.

“Then why did you leave?”

You gulped, licking your lips tentatively. Did you really want to tell him the truth? Tell him how weak you truly were? You honestly didn’t, a part of you screaming to just feed him a lie that would satiate you both-but the thought of living with even more of a guilty conscience made your mouth go dry. He didn't deserve another lie-after all you did to him, Kirishima deserved the truth.

“I-I didn’t want to get hurt. I didn’t want you to get hurt. If Shigaraki found out I was considering leaving the LOV, he would have done anything in his power to keep me.”

“You don’t know the League like I do. When I mean he would do anything-he would do anything-including killing.”

Kirishima's eyes momentarily widened, the brutal words cutting the air like a knife. It didn’t surprise him, though-he was a hero in training after all. He had been in too many dangerous run ins with villians-hell, he couldn’t even count how many times he could have died just in his first year at UA. Death was a recurring threat in Kirishima's life, and , for better or worse, it didn’t scare him as much as it used to.

“Kiri-I-I lied to you to keep you safe. You meant the world to me-You still do. I still think about you all the time, and I know you probably hate me, but I still love you. I never stopped.”

He watched your eyes turn down in shame, your head hanging low as if you were carrying a great burden. It was painstakingly obvious you were feeling guilty and remorseful, and his heart throbbed at the thought that of you being forced to continue on with this life. We all made dumb mistakes when we were younger-you shouldn’t have to keep the burden of your past decisions still.

As much as he felt sympathy for you, he couldn't help but feel so happy that you still had feelings for him. No matter how he spun it, he still cared for you and loved you with all his heart-hearing The same thoughts come from you just made him fall for you even more.

He gingerly took your chin in his hands, his calloused digits lifting your sullen head in order for him to look at you fully. Even when you looked so downtrodden, you were absolutely beautiful to him, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“God, take the words right out of mouth, huh?”

Kirishima's heartbeat feverishly in his chest-what he was about to do was so incredibly risky, but he had to do it. Too many nights he spent dreaming and remembering you, the memories bitter sweet. Now that he had you in front of him, he was going to take any chance he could go get those sensations back in his life.

Kirishima placed his lips gently on yours, knocking the wind out of your lungs. You couldn’t breathe-it was like you were drowning on his essence-yet you couldn’t careless. Warmth filled your stomach, fueling all over your body like a hot flame. It was so comforting and surreal to be feeling this again, to have Kirishima's hot lips pressed against yours.

He parted from you, both of you buzzing with electricity. It was surprising how much truth that kiss held-it melted the cocoon you two had around your hearts, allowing you two to see how much you had truly missed each other.

“ Y/n, I miss you, I knew that night you said you didn’t love me, something wasn’t right,” he spoke, his breath fanning your lips gently. “I knew there was more than what you were letting on.”

Kirishima grabbed your arms suddenly, looking you square in the face with intense eyes.

“ Y/n, you should have left then and there! We would have protected you! I would have protected! I promise I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you-“

“Y/n, you need to leave them, please,”

You sighed, hating how quickly the air thickened with the remembrance of your current situation.

“Kiri, I don’t want anybody to potentially get hurt because of my dumbass decisions, I’m fine, I can handle myself-“

“Y/n, no your not fine! Look at you-,”he motioned to your clothing and your sullen face, “this isn’t you at all!

“Kiri, please, don’t give me false hope-“ you shoved him off, wrapping your arms around your body to protect yourself. If you didn’t get control of yourself, you would follow his words in a heartbeat. As much as you would love to run into the strong arms of Kirishima, for him to warm your numb body with his positive energy- you knew it was dangerous. You didn’t want anybody to get hurt over you.

“It isn’t false hope though….” He smiled sweetly at you, his hand stretched out to you, “please, just take my hand, Kay? Nothing bad will happen, I promise,”

You stared at him long and hard, your eyes wide with fear and uncertainty-he was so genuine, so warm, so forgiving. He wanted to help you, he was willing and ready. He wanted to fight the world with you by his side, to protect the people he needed to protect with his loving energy. Kirishima had a way of making you believe anything that came out of his mouth, and you were falling for his spell. You didn’t know if it was the shock from seeing him after so long, his kiss, or just from wanting to leave so badly, but you stretched out your hand, ready for him to take you away.

a cruel, scraggly voice boomed from the shadows, “He promises to keep his little love bird safe.”

“How touching.”

You two spun your heads around at the sound of the ominous voice, your blood running cold.

“Shigaraki,” you gasped out, your eyes glued onto your leader.

He was smiling a sick grin, his expression sadistic and cruel as he stood in a few paces away from you two. He was clothed in his Villain suit, his clothes tattered and dark like the Grim Reaper himself.

Spinner and Twice were standing close by, surveying the scene from above as Shigaraki sauntered to you two. Kirishima's expression instantly turned from softness to determination, his body instantly turning to shield yours.

“Oh no need to act so heroic hero,” he grinned, his tone sickeningly sweet life cough syrup.

“Just give us our comrade and we’ll be on our way.”

“You're not going anywhere with her!” Kirishima yelled, his quirk activating in his arm as he shielded you from Shigaraki. “She doesn’t want to be with you scumbags anymore!”

“I’d watch your tone if I were you, especially for trying to defend a spineless traitor like her.”

Kirishima's face turned red in anger, his whole body now turning as solid as a rock as he charged your former leader.

“You piece of-“

Shigaraki continued the sick grin plastered on his face as Spinner and Twice instantly jumped from their positions, grabbing Kirishima's arms and roughly slamming him into the nearby wall. You heard the air forces out of Kirishima's lungs, his face contorted in pain. Your heart felt as if it was getting stabbed as you watched Kirishima struggle against their holds.

“Kirishima!” You screamed, your body yelling at you to help him-but you knew you couldn’t take on those two by yourself, not even including Shigaraki.

You turned to the villainous man in front of you, your eyes pleading.

“Shigaraki, please, tell them to let him go-let him go!”

He took a step toward you, his footsteps ringing slowly like the ticks of an old clock.

“Oh, I will,” he replied, his voice low and sadistic, “-when you rejoin the League.

“ I’d kill you right now for being such a selfish brat if I didn’t need you-so take it as a gift. I’ll spare your life if you just come-“

“Never,” you spat at him, fear filling your stomach with your defiance. You were surprised to hear how steady your voice was, but the slight Tremble in your fists said otherwise.

“Fine then,” he smirked, “suit yourself-“

With a wave of his decaying hands, Spinner and Twice began to use their full force on Kirishima-punching, kicking, anything to torture him. He was trying his best to block them, even with his quirk-but they were quite strong, especially once Twice used his quirk to produce more of his own body. It quickly began evident that Kirishima was having a hard time to fight off the villains, his Stance slowly becoming weaker and weaker as his face began to bruise and his arm dusted with his own blood.

You were hopeless to just watch, watching your worst fear come to life-people we’re already getting hurt over you.

Anger filled your stomach, licking up your body like hot flames as you turned to charge Shigaraki, fire in your eyes.

“Stop it you crusty ass-“ you yelled out, your fists out as you tried to land a punch on the Villian.

He seemed to know your exact movements though, his hands harshly grabbing your wrists and mouth, colliding your body with his.

“I’d watch that mouth of yours if I were you, unless you want it to disintegrate-along with the rest of you-“

Shit.

You had momentarily forgotten about Shigaraki’s dangerous quirk-one wrong move and you could be a heap on the ground, nothing more. The fingers around your mouth were delicate, knowing full well you wouldn’t try and escape. They drummed playfully against your mouth, as if taunting you to do something foolish. You felt how cold he was, the feeling of his chapped skin on yours disgusting as he toyed with your life in his hands.

It was all a game for him-and he was winning.

“Look at him-“ Shigaraki ordered, the grip around your mouth suddenly tightening as he twisted your head to face Kirishima's misery.

“You caused this, y/n. All this pain, all this suffering. If you leave, he will be the first we target. Well slowly go after each and every person you have ever loved, until we finally come for you.”

“Now, you don’t want that, do you?” He asked, his face tilting in order to see your answer. You forced yourself to not look at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the small tears running down your cheeks.

All you could muster was a small shake of your head, the vibration of your movement going through Shigarakis finger tips.

Through the fists and clones he was trying to fight off, Kirishima could see you shaking your head, Shigaraki looking practically happy by your answer. A sinking feeling filled Kirishima's stomach as he saw your body language slouch in defeat. He Tried to call at you, to stop you from agreeing to whatever was coming out of Shigarakis lying lips, but at that moment one of the clones landed a solid punch to his stomach. Kirishima felt all the air leave out of his lungs , his knees wobbling and hitting the floor as his head spun from the pain.

Shigaraki still had his hold on you, watching how your face crumpled as you watched Kirishima fall and unable to help.

“Good, now, will you come and rejoin?” He asked one last time, motioning for his comrades to move away from Kirishima and back to their spot on the roof of the alleyway.

He knew now he had you under his finger, knowing the show he had just made you watched instilled enough fear for you to never leave his team again. He watched your eyes cower to give one last look at Kirishima's crumpled body, your shoulders tense with stress.

“I-I’ll rejoin the League,” you whispered out, feeling the hold Shigaraki had on you loosen.

It was tearing you up inside to see Kirishima so bruised and hurt on the ground-you focused on the signs of him breathing, his broad chest rising and falling as he struggled to push himself back up. That small evidence gave you courage, your heart racing as you will yourself to continue with the plan you had secretly been concocting this whole time.

You grunted, a sly smirk erupting on your face.

“After I do this-“

You swiftly grabbed Shigarakis arm, twisting it in an excruciating position behind his back. He yelled out in pain, a string of curses filling the night as you rammed your fist into his chest, sending the air out of his lungs. He stumbled dramatically, dry coughs spewing out of his lungs as his knees hit the floor.

“You no longer have power over me-none of you do,” you stood defiantly in that alleyway, watching your ex comrades stare at you in shock and awe. In all your time with the LOV, you had never defied them. Not once. You were always so obedient, which was why Shigaraki loved to have you around as a n asset to his team-you were so easy to keep around his finger.

But now you were clearly being rebellious, your stony face telling the whole group you had changed-you didn’t give a damn about their threats and their rules anymore. You wouldn’t be coming back.

A burst of fear and extreme annoyance flooded Shigarakis' system, the pain of your kick aiding fuel to the flame. He growled, a curse directed at you dribbling from his lips as his thin legs wobbled his body weight up. His mouth opened to send you another string of curses, ready to unleash his full wrath on you for embarrassing him so much, until a characteristic siren filled the night air.

Kirishima propped himself onto his knees, a tried grin gracing his bruising lips.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you-“

His hand lifted, showing the whole group a small contraption in his hand. In the darkness of the alleyway it was hard to tell what it was, but it seemed Kirishima was holding a phone, a route to your location lighting up the screen.

“My mentor gave all us heroes-in-training a tracker, just in case we get into any trouble. While you were blabbering on about plans, I sent the heroes our location.”

Kirishima smiled triumphantly at the fearful faces of Shigaraki’s comrades, Shigarakis own fave contorted in rage.

The sirens were slowly getting louder, the colors of blue and red dancing lightly against the stony walls of the alley way.

“So unless you wanna get caught by the heroes,” he added in, his tone surprisingly friendly, “ I suggest you go.”

Shigaraki seemed waver, trying to see if he could still get you back under the terrible circumstances. But the cops were practically here, the sounds of car doors slamming being heard. He had to admit it to himself-he lost this battle. He gave you one last scornful look, his bloody irises sending a shiver down your spine as he took off with his comrades, not leaving a trace.

You could already hear the police officers stepping out of their cars, fear flooding your stomach. Even though you had just defied the League, you were still a criminal. You had been doing illegal activities for months now-hell, you just stole a girls wallet 15 minutes ago and it was still in your damn pocket.

Even though a part of you was screaming for you to run as well, you fought off that flight response in order to help Kirishima off the floor.

His skin still feels warm, your hands making sure not to touch the tender parts of his skin from his fight. Even though he was smiling, you could tell he was in some pain. Your worst fear was already being realized-he got hurt over you. For you. You could never repay him for that, the guilt seeping into your core.

“Kiri are you okay? Please tell me you are,” you pushed out, the tone of your voice desperate and pleading. “I’m so sorry-“

Kirishima looked up, his vermillion eyes as bright as ever as he caresses your cheek, sweeping the single tear off your face.

“For what? You did nothing wrong y/n, you don’t have to be so sad over me-this is my job after all!” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood as you began to help him stand up. He was slightly wobbly on his feet but seemed to be doing just fine.

He gave you a small smile, a hint of worry in his eyes as he heard footsteps coming behind him.

“Just-let me do the talking, Kay?” He waited for you to give him a nod, his hands giving yours a gentle squeeze.

“Do you still have the wallet you stole?”

“The-? Oh, yeah, I do,” you stated quickly, the wallet resurfacing in your mind as you rummaged in your jacket, pulling it out and shoving it into his hand.

“Thanks,” he smiled at you, his cheeks warm as he faltered for the smallest second.

It was evident he wanted to lean in and kiss you-the way he stared at your lips was quite evident and brought a blush to your cheeks.

But Kirishima was still on duty, and couldn’t be so openly romantic when he was in his hero suit as well being approached by law enforcement. He instead opted to kiss your cheek, the smooth skin of his lips warming your whole body as he walked over to greet the police officer.

Kirishima has spoke to the police officer for quite a while, a few others watching close behind as they surveyed you. You felt strange, standing there so alone as you watched Kirishima talk to the officer so warmly.

You didn’t know what he was saying, or what he was doing, but you were hoping he was somehow sweet talking the officers. You watched him point to you at one point, his warm smile assuring your terrified face as the officer looked you up and down tentatively.

He motioned you to come over, as if trying to get a frightened animal to come near him. You followed his command, your steps hesitant as you approached the two men.

The officer face was hardened until he saw the look of terror on your face, his expression softening slightly.

“This is her?” He asked gruffly, turning to Kirishima.

“Yes,” he nodded his head in confirmation. “The LOV have been brainwashing her for their plans-she has intel the heroes could use to our advantage. Fat Gum’s agency needs her straight away in order to get that info from her. I promise we will get her in the system and any other information you may need on file.”

The officer gave you two a long look, sighing as he scratched his chin.

“Alright,” he complied, a huge smile erupting on Kirishimas face. “You two need a ride? You look pretty messed up.”

Kirishima gave a small chuckle, scratching the back of his head. “Uh-yeah, THAT'D be pretty nice actually-“

After the small car ride to Fat Gum’s agency, you had helped Kirishima out of the car and to Fat Gum’s office at the top floor. It seemed like someone had already alerted Fat Gum to Kirishima's arrival, because you two were instantly met by the pro hero with worried eyes once you reached his office.

“God Kirishima you had me so worried for a second!” He yelled, striding over to the bruised hero, “that receptionist really made it sound like you were in need of medical attention or something-“

“I’m fine Fat, you don’t gotta worry about me!” Kirishima said good naturedly, his perfect teeth glistening in the fluorescent lights. “I actually have some things I need your help with-“

“You definitely do if you're bringing a civilian into the office,” FatGum stared down at you with a warm smile, your heart beating guiltily. It was strange to see the hero in normal clothing in not in his larger form, his stature so much smaller it seemed from his usually large frame.

“The names Fat, but you can call me Taishiro!” He held out his hand in front of you, his bright personality radiating off of him, “and you are-“

“I-I’m y/n, sir,” you said hesitantly, taking your smaller hand in his. He was just as warm as Kirishima, like a bright ball of sun.

No wonder Kirishima interned with Fatgum-he was just like him. Bright, fun, kind. Everything you so dearly craved for in your life, but couldn't quite grasp.

“I’m sorry, I’m not a civilian-I’m a criminal, a Villian,” you muttered sadly, your head hanging low, “well, I was-“

Fat Gum gave Kirishima a confused look, his happy exterior dropping slightly.

“She was being forced to be a Villain by Shigaraki,” Kirishima quickly stepped forward, his tone serious as he defended you. “She wanted to leave the LOV, but they were threatening her.

“She didn’t do anything wrong-she just wanted to protect herself and the people around her.”

Fat Gum scratched the side of his cheek, his eyes lost in thought.

“Well Thats a strange situation to be in-I’m assuming you two know each other?”

You looked at Kirishima, red blossoming your cheeks just like his.

Maybe it wasn’t the best time to tell his mentor that you had dramatically broke up with Kirishima over 3 months ago.

“We uh-“ Kirishima started, his voice wavering in uncertainty.

“We were classmates,” you chided in quickly, “I went to UA along with Kirishima, but the LOV forced me to leave the school.”

Fat Gum nodded his head, a sigh escaping his lips. “So-you’ve been working as a Villain, but against your will?”

You nodded your head, your breath caught in your throat as you awaited for the hero's reaction to this news of your true identity.

“This will get a little fuzzy legal wise, especially if people are looking for you-some may not trust what you say, even if you left the League and do everything in your power to change their minds.”

“Don’t worry though, I believe you,” the hero placed his hand in your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I believe Red Riot full heartedly in his perception of others and I’m pretty good at reading people too. I can tell youre not what the League tried to make you into.”

He sent you a warm grin, making you feel safe for what had felt like a long time.

“Would you be willing to answer questions about the League? about how they operate, how large they are, their plans-“

“Yes, anything to end them and help the heroes,” you answered quickly, your tone set in determination, “I’d be willing to do all of it.”

“Well that settles it!” Fat Gum said happily, the smile back on his face. “Tomorrow we’ll start talking to you about your experience with the League-but you two seem to need a well deserved nap.”

“Why don’t you keep her in your apartment Kirishima?” FatGum turned to the hero, Kirishimas dusted in pink by the proposition. “Shell feel

a little more comfortable since you're someone she knows, and she’s also close to the agency.”

Fat Gum gave you a soft smile, his eyes filled with reassurance. “Heroes will be around all day and all night, so nobody can come in and out.”

It surprised you how intuitive the hero was-he knew exactly how you were feeling.

Even though you knew it was foolish, you still felt that somehow the League would find you and try to bring you back. You had clearly defied them, and it scared you that they be trying to get their revenge.

But Fatgums charming smile was so reassuring and welcoming, you couldn’t give him a small smile back.

“I think I can manage that arrangement.”

“Good then,” he gave you two one last smile, ushering you two out the door, “make sure to get some rest-tomorrow will definitely be a long day. Make sure those injuries are doing well too, alright?”

You both gave the hero a curt response, turning your backs from the now closed doors.

Kirishima's heart began to beat intensely, his stomach filling with butterflies.

You had agreed to stay in his room? God, if someone had told him a few hours ago you’d be staying the night with him, he’d wouldn’t believe it for a second. But now this was happening, and he couldn’t be more ecstatic or nervous.

He stared at your profile, not missing the dusting of red on your cheeks-you were nervous too? It made him feel a little better inside, a small smile gracing his lips as he stretched out his hand.

“You ready?”

You looked down at the outstretched sha s in front of you, taking his palm in yours tentatively.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,”

He lead you through the agency, taking an elevator a few levels down in order to get to the apartments specifically for the heroes in training.

It was a short trip, but the fatigue that wa a beginning to hit your body was making it feel so much longer. The adrenaline rush you had felt all night was wearing off, your eyes fluttering as you will yourself to stay awake.

Kirishima noticed your sleepy state, a small chuckle escaping from his chest.

“You feeling tired?”

“Just-a little,” you yawned out, wrapping your hands around your body.

“Don’t worry-were almost at my place,” he gave you a sweet smile, his hands outstretched for yours as the elevator door opened. You took it gratefully, letting him lead you to his door as he opened it with ease.

You stepped inside, adjusting from the darkness as you took in the sight in front of you.

The room smelled of him-the warm and musky scent ofhis cologne lingering in the air. It was almost teasing you with its memories, a wave of comfort washing over you as you recalled all the times you buried your nose into his neck and smelled his scent.

His room was pretty neat, surprisingly, his desk organized and his walls decorated with a few posters. You recognized some from his old room at UA-a Crimson Riot, his favorite band, and even a calendar he used to use frequently.

Some areas of his room signaled the busy life of his work stidy, his unmade bed strewn with clothing he had hastily ripped off, a small pile of clothes in a pile and his laptop charging in a corner of the room.

Kirishima cursed himself as he looked around the room, painstakingly noticing every little detail and mess, hating how he hadn’t cleaned up his room that day.

“Sorry for the mess, I didn’t expect to have anyone,” he chuckled nervously, already going around and picking up his things.

“It’s fine-I like it,”

You were speaking the truth when you said it-you liked how it was so him, showing a glimpse into his daily life. It was warm and comforting, even residential, to see him in his day to day life.

“You do?”

You hummed a “yes”, feeling your heart beat fast when Kirishima closed the gap between you two, his palms gently grasping your arms. He breathed in a deep sigh, holding you close.

“God, you don’t know how much I missed you,” he sighed out breathlessly.

“I missed you too Kiri,” you looked down, old guilt resurfacing inside you, “I’m still sorry for being so-so mean to you-I should have just told you the truth, I shouldn't have lied-“

Kirishima smiled softly, lifting your chin with his finger.

“Don’t worry about that! That was in the past-now it’s just you and me, kay? You don’t have to worry about any of that, now”

He gave you a long look, sorry buried in his brows as you ran his fingers along your skin, feeling the bags under your eyes. You inhaled a deep breath, loving the electricity Kirishima set into your skin just from his touch.

“You really are tired, huh?” He asked quietly, his voice husky from exhaustion himself.

“And you're not?” You gave him a quirky smile, making him blush with a chuckle.

“Well, I didn’t say that,” he gave you a small grin, his hands returning back to their spots on your arms.

“Do you wanna sleep? You can take the bed if you want-I know it’s not made, but I can sleep on the couch if you’d like-“

“I want to sleep with you,” you replied softly, your eyes widening once you realized what you had just said.

You wanted to sleep with him? God, you sounded so perverted!

“I-I mean I want to go to bed with you-I didnt mean-I just didn’t want to make you sleep somewhere else, since this your room-“

Kirishima's face was incredibly red, but the smile was still plastered on his face.

“Oh it’s alright, I really don’t mind either way.“

He pulled himself away from you gently, as he began searching through his dresser for some clothes.

“So-bed together?”

“Yup!” You replied back, popping the p as You sat on the unmade bed, your fingers dragging against the plus fabric as Kirishima turned around, sitting in front of you as he handed you one of his shirts.

“I know you don’t have any pajamas, so you can wear one of my shirts until we get you some clothes.”

“Mm, sounds good,” you smiled tenderly, loving how close he was as you ran your hands through his hair.

He sighed into your touch as he nuzzled into your skin, his breath warm against your skin.

He sat there for a few moments, finally rising sluggish and slow.

“Gotta move-or I’ll fall asleep right there,” he chuckled, walking over to the front of his closet. He began to take off the pieces of his hero suit, the large gears on his arms hitting the floor with a thud.

You admired how broad his shoulders were, the way his muscles rippled so evidently as he moved his bones to his will. He was so perfectly built, you could t help but drool at the firmness of his skin.

“Having fun over there?,” he turned around, a shit eating grin plastered on his face as he undid the belt around his waist.

“Just a little,” you gave him a small grin, hear flooding your face as you held the shirt close to your chest.

“You can go change in the bathroom if you’d like-you don’t have to stay out here if you’re not comfortable,”

“And what if I am?”

You laughed at the clearly evident blush on his cheeks, his face trying to hide the rush of embarrassment.

“Your a handful,” he chuckled, his hand running through his hair nervously.

He knew you were joking, and you two had only sorta, maybe gotten back together lass than an hour ago-but damn if he wasn’t nervous and excited by you being so flirtatious-in his room.

For the rest of the night.

You gave him one last smile before you disappeared into the bathroom, your hands closing the door gently.

God, it felt so nice to be in his arms again, to feel safe and warm. You had missed the fluttering feeling Kirishima gave you, like you could fly away at any moment and you could care less. You brought your nose to the cloth of the worn shirt, the powerful smell of his detergent and cologne washing over you. It was so comforting, a nostalgic feeling filling your body as you remembered how much you missed his scent.

You quickly stripped of your clothes, happy to be free of the uncomfortable garments finally. Since Kirishima didn’t hand you any shorts to wear, you decided to only wear the shirt he had given you over your underwear. The softness of the shirt felt so relaxing against your tired skin, almost like getting a hug from the boy himself. You smiled a deep sigh, happy to see that the shirt was long enough to at least cover your underwear from plan view and you splashed your face with some cold water, rinsing away all the fears from tonight.

You would have a long day tomorrow answering questions about the League-you could at least give yourself tonight to forget and be worry free.

Kirishima was hastily changing before you came out of the bathroom, dreading the idea of you seeing him half naked as he swapped out of his hero suit. He opted to wear something comfortable, grey sweatpants and an old black tshirt, his body running frantically to clean his room. Now that he got the chance to properly clean his room, he was a mad man trying to make it to his liking. He shoved clothes into his closet, made his bed, even hiding cords under his bed.

If you were going to be in his room, he was at least going to give off some impression of him being neat.

He was now laying on his newly made bed, his hands occupied with checking his phone as he heard the bathroom door opening, your footsteps soft on the carpet of his room.

He looked up, a question about to fall from his lips until his mind went completely blank at the sight of you.

There you were, standing in his room, looking as beautiful as ever wearing his shirt and nothing else. He couldn't help but stare at your legs, worshipping the curves as his mouth was agape from awe.

He didn’t fully prepare himself at the sight of you in his clothes, but god did you wear them so perfectly-

“You okay Kiri?” You gave a nervous laugh, striding over to the bed, settling your knees on the plush comforter.

The shirt road up from the movement t, showing more of those pretty thighs of yours that made him practically drool.

“Ne-never been better!” He tried to compose himself, his voice rising slightly.

God, he needed to get ahold of himself.

“You look pretty comfy,” he gave a small comment on your outfit, loving how bashful you look at the comment.

“Of course I am,” you replied back, crawling over to his side of the bed. He gulped at the sight of you coming so close to him, “I’m in your clothes after all.”

You sat your body next to Kirishima, your hand finding his as your other lightly rested on his stomach.

“You know, I’ve always thought you looked good in anything,” he smiled, his eyes dark like wine, “but you wearing my clothes-you looked best in that,”

“Really?” You gave the boy a shit eating grin, knowing full well you were playing a dangerous game now.

This night could end in two different scenarios: one could complicate things, and one could really complicate things.

You’d take the latter, if he was willing.

You shifted your body around him, straddling his waist as his shirt rode up, exposing your thighs even more.

“And what about when they're not on?”

Kirishima's heart beat at an insane pace in his chest-was this wrong to do? He didn’t know and frankly, he didn’t care at that moment.

He returned the smile, his hands traveling underneath the soft shirt.

“Even better.”

Tagging (anyone who commented or asked for a part 2- I tried to get everyone!):

@cellotonin @bakugous-forehead @lgbtonystarks @marrypuffsstuff @lady-bakuhoe @kurinhimenezu @hipster-merchant-of-death @hot-pocket01 @bubblegum-bee-otch @kai-charm

#bnha #bnha x reader #kirishima x reader #bnha kirishima x reader #mha kirishima x reader #kirishima one shot #kirishima x you #bnha kirishima x you #mha kirishima x you #kirishima x y/n #bnha kirishima x y/n #mha kirishima x y/n

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camrensrealbish · 4 years

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Camila’s spotify playlists 2015 part 1

I found Camila’s playlists recently and they definitely don’t get enough attention from us. There is so much valuable information there!! Ok, here we go..

2015

Let’s see what the songs are about and what was on August 2015 Camila’s mind.

- You’re still the one by Shania Twain

When I first saw you, I saw love ----- from how Camila and Lauren described how they met, it was attraction from the first sight ---- And the first time you touched me, I felt love ----- but every touch is oh lalala (Señorita)---- And after all this time You're still the one I love, mmm, yeah

Looks like we made it Look how far we've come my baby We mighta took the long way ----- it took you 2 years to make up your mind (Should’ve said it)---- We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on We're still together still going strong

You're still the one I run to ----- I should be running, you keep me coming for you(Señorita) --- The one that I belong to You're still the one I want for life (You're still the one) You're still the one that I love The only one I dream of ---- all I do the whole day through is dream of you (Dream of you)---- You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better We beat the odds together I'm glad we didn't listen ---- My mama doesn't trust you, baby And my daddy doesn't know you, no (My oh my); And papa says he got malo in him(Havana) ---- Look at what we’d missin’

- Kiss me by Sixpence None the Richer

Kiss me out of the bearded barley Nightly, beside the green, green grass Swing, swing, swing the spinning step You'll wear those shoes and I will wear that dress

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight Lead me out on the moonlit floor ---- Expectations MV---- Lift your open hand Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance ---- Burning, fire and dancing are everywhere in Lauren and Camila’s songs---- Silvermoon's sparkling So kiss me

- Fly with me by Jonas Brothers

If time was still The sun would never never find us ---- SUN!! We could light up The sky tonight ---- MOON!! I would see the world through your eyes ---- Camila is obsessed with Lauren’s, also “ When I look in your eyes / I see through to my soul” (No way)----- Leave it all behind

If it's you and me forever If it's you and me right now ----- All the strangers are gone (In the dark)----That'd be alright Be alright If we chase the stars to lose our shadows

Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine ---- Camila loves Peter Pan, also Camren talking about Tinkerbell and Wendy in this interview ---- So won't you fly with me ---- Camila’s fairy wings and angel references in Romance ----

Maybe you were just afraid ---- Lauren had hard time admitting she’s attracted to women ---- Knowing you were miles away From the place where you needed to be And that's right here with me

- Sweet disposition by Tamper Trap

-----Lauren’s tumblr name------

Sweet disposition Never too soon Oh, reckless abandon Like no one's watching you

A moment, a love A dream aloud A kiss, a cry Our rights, our wrongs ----- the inconsistency of their relationship, expectations, moments - only having the nights for each other, not too many days off---- A moment, a love A dream aloud A moment, a love A dream, aloud

So stay there 'Cause I'll be coming over ----- I love it when you call me / you keep me coming (Señorita); this love calling my name (This love) ---- And while our blood's still young It's so young, it runs And won't stop 'til it's over Won't stop to surrender

Songs of desperation I played them for you

- Drops of Jupiter by Train

Now that she's back in the atmosphere With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey She acts like summer and walks like rain --- loving you was sunshine, but then it poured (Consequences); Will you be the sun or the pouring rain? (Who are you)----- Reminds me that there's a-time to change, hey, hey Since the return of her stay on the moon --- MOON She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey Hey, hey

But tell me Did you sail across the sun? ----SUN Did you make it to the Milky Way ---- All night MV ----- To see the lights all faded? And that Heaven is overrated?Tell me Did you fall from a shooting star --- I thank God and my lucky stars Darling, don't you know what you are? (Beautiful) ----

One without a permanent scar? ---- Everyone comes with scars but you can live them away (No way) ----

But tell me Did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day --- instead of just at night in secret?? ----

And head back to the Milky Way? And tell me, did Venus blow your mind? Was it everything you wanted to find? And did you miss me while you were Looking for yourself out there?

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken ---- Chickens!! :) ---- Your best friend always sticking up for you Even when I know you're wrong? Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance Five-hour phone conversation The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?

- I’ll be your man by James Blunt

Too many voices, too many noises ---- Little voices in my head (consequences)----

Invisible wires keeping us apart --- management?---- So many choices, but they're all disappointments And they only seal me away from you

Climb into our own private bubble ----secret relationship --- Let's get into all kinds of trouble

Slide over here let your hands feel the way --- touch me till I find myself in a feeling (Easy)--- There's no better method to communicate --- Tell me with your hands slow (Living proof) --- Girl stop your talking words just get in the way --- Baby, could you shut up? / 'Cause I don't need you to come up with excuses / I just need your eyes on me (Back to me)---- I'll be your man So baby come over from the end of the sofa --- this couch is getting smaller (Into it)---- I'll be your man, I'll be your man

So many faces, staring at their shoelaces When all anyone wants is to be seen So tonight let's be honest We only want to be wanted And darling you got me wanting you

What are we all looking for? Someone we just can't ignore it's Real love dripping from my heart You've got me tripping What are we all looking for?

- No air by Jordin Sparks

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?

If I should die before I wake It's 'cause you took my breath away Losing you is like living in a world with no air, oh ---- Losing you I couldn’t face but to love you is worse (This love) ---

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave ---- Up in bed, all alone (Expectations)---- My heart won't move, it's incomplete Is there a way I could make you understand?

But how Do you expect me, to live alone with just me? 'Cause my world revolves around you It's so hard for me to breathe

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew right off The ground and float to you There's no gravity to hold me down, for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside You took my breath but I survived I don't know how but I don't even care

Camren supposedly broke up in the second half of 2015, but I think this song is not about this break up yet, since they were all added to the playlist on the same day.

Expectations, consequences, In the dark, Real friends, This love, More than that can be related to this period. Read Karlaswine’s analysis of In the dark, some great insights there.

They probably got back together in the beginning of 2016. (Songs to fall in love to playlist from Feb 2016)

Conclusions

Every single song on this playlists has so many Camren references. They are all love songs except for the last one, so we can assume it was still ok in August 2015. I’m really suprised how much sun and moon Camila can find in other’s songs. Also these songs seem to fit her writing style and her vibe.

I’m gonna analyse the other playlists too and it gets interesting in the following years when she starts going back to songs from 2015 2016 in e.g 2018 ---> Camren is still alive? Stick with me ;)

#camren #gaymila #lauren jauregui #camila and lauren #camila cabeyo #camrenisreal #fifth harmony #camila #lauren #romance #expectations

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pop-culturereference · 4 years

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Like We Were Before

a fic for Dickbabs week 2020 day 1: history

Summary: Babs and Dick, what things were like before, what they’re like now, and how they’ll be in the future. Because Rebirth is frustrating and I’m never sure what the characters do and don’t remember.

The night was settled and smooth, with streetlamp light seeping through the blinds of her apartment. Babs and Dick had dragged themselves in after a night of high-energy crime fighting and immediately shaken off the Nightwing and Batgirl getup to run it through the washer. Babs had been waiting up to switch it to the dryer, and now that that was done, she could go to bed. Dick was haphazardly sprawled on her bed like a pair of discarded socks. She pressed her lips together against a smile. Even while he was drooling on her pillow, he was so completely him that she couldn’t help but find him adorable.

Babs lightly shifted him over to his side to make space for herself on the bed. She didn’t have a couch in her new apartment yet, so if she wanted to sleep at all, she’d have to share the bed with Dick, she told herself. But, the soft stillness of the night made her honest enough to admit to herself that she didn’t mind. It was nice.

“Babs?” Dick asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“I can sleep on the floor if you want.”

“No, I don’t mind.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Seriously, don’t worry about it. I only shoved you over because you were taking up a little too much space. You’re like…an invasive plant species, taking over my bed like-“

“Hey!” Dick was more awake now.

“No, no, hear me out,” Babs cut in before he could object. “Like, you just sprawl everywhere, but it’s not bad. You’d be a GOOD invasive plant. Like morning glories, or ivy.”

“Ugh. Not ivy, ever,” Dick muttered into the pillow.

“Gotcha, morning glory.” Babs tugged the blanket up and rested her arms above her head. She relaxed into the mattress and breathed deeply.

It was a good night. There was a reaching peace inside her, the kind that usually came after a light workout that relieved aches and worries, and before a day with no obligations. She stared up at the ceiling and played with that thought. That was becoming more common, as of late. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she’d been so consistently happy.

She had recently climbed out of a rough patch. Her mind had been a jumble of conflicting memories. Or, rather, it still was, but now she was starting to make sense of them. Before, it had felt like two different versions of Barbara Gordon were trying to reconcile with one another. She’d been in constant turmoil. She didn’t know which memories to believe and to act on. Which Barbara remembered Lady Blackhawk? Was Cassandra Cain ever Batgirl? Was Babs being selfish by keeping that from her now? Which of Tim’s personalities was the real one?

Eventually, she had put it together, piece by piece. It was like everything happened in a timeline. First, she had been permanently in a wheelchair. Then, all of a sudden, she was walking and running and Batgirl-ing again, with no explanation. It had made no sense, but at least it fit together nicely.

Babs tried to return to the contentment she had been feeling. With a sigh, she rolled to her side, leaving her facing Dick’s back. Did he ever think about things like this? Most people didn’t realize anything was different in their memories, but she’d learned that most heroes had the same issues she did. Dick probably had an even more jumbled mess than she did. His hair poked out funny over the bullet scar, and she itched to run her thumb over it. After a few more seconds of the itch, she slowly reached out and tenderly smoothed his hair.

She felt a tingling current. She used to do this, before, but it had been so long since she and Dick had been so close. Back then,

he hadn’t had a bullet scar, and she’d been a little bit more in love with the world. Did Dick remember that?

Her breath caught when she remembered that he was right next to her and she could ask him if she really wanted to.

“Hey…Dick?”

“Mm hmm?

“What do you… remember?”

Well, that was vague.

“In the sense that…do you feel like you’ve lived two lives? Are your memories all…split?”

Dick rolled over to face her and blinked at her. “Hmm. Yeah. I’m not a huge fan.” He curled in to bring the blanket up to his chin and his head lower on the pillow so their faces were level. It made Babs feel like they were kids again, curled up and close. Dick sighed. “It’s been awhile since my brain made any sense at all,” he said with a rueful laugh. And sometimes, all I can remember is the bad stuff, like, the crime syndicate.”

Babs took a sharp breath as a memory suddenly flashed through her: Dick, chained up and tortured, secret identity revealed.

Apparently Dick was more used to that memory than she was, because he kept talking, his words picking up momentum.

“What’s crazy is that I actually remember more since I got a bullet to the head. When…I remembered…I had all these memories, and I didn’t realize I didn’t have them before until a few days later. It was- I- I was thinking about you, actually, and I remembered something that I knew I didn’t even know before.” Dick squinted. It was something they both did when they were thinking hard- as if squinting pointed their eyes at their thoughts.

Dick used to visit her from Blüdhaven—that was from Memory Timeline #1. He’d swing into the clocktower window. She’d usually be doing Oracle work, and he’d bring her something- usually coffee or pastries- along with a hacking request. He’d start working on one of his own cases, but they’d ask each other for help and usually both end up working on the same one. She would realize she was squinting, then look over at Dick and he’d be doing the same thing. “You’re doing the squinting thing,” she’d say with a grin, and he’d say, “Don’t act like you weren’t doing the squinting thing just a minute ago, oh high and mighty Oracle.”

She laughed and told Dick, “Hey, Boy Wonder, you’re doing the squinting thing.”

He broke his squint with a laugh. “What ever happened to ‘Hunk Wonder?’ Have I been downgraded?”

Her heart skipped a beat. He remembered, then.

“We-“

“Some-“

They started speaking at the same time.

“You first,” Babs said.

Dick sighed. “Sometimes I wish I could go back.” She expected him to wistfully stare off into the distance as he elaborated, but instead he looked straight into her eyes and held her gaze, waiting for her to say something.

“Things were better,” she solemnly agreed.

“You were in a wheelchair!” Instead of sounding puzzled by her agreement, Dick sounded sounded teasing.

Babs took this as a good sign, and, without letting herself think her way out of it, quickly worked around the knot in her throat to say softly, “We were engaged.”

Dick nodded, not breaking her gaze. “That’s why I wish I could go back.” Before Babs could say anything, his next words tumbled out in a rush. “When I remembered, I was still with Bea. I did love her, and she’ll always be special to me, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Babs. I remembered how we were before, and I compared it to how I was at the time. I was slowly, slowly getting back to how I was before the brain injury, but I realized I didn’t like who I was even before I got shot. I was a flake. I got too absorbed in myself to care about what was going on around me. I made stupid decisions and then refused to admit any responsibility or fault.”

Babs laughed. “Well, look at you, a new man already, taking responsibility and admitting fault at the same time.”

“I was dealing with a lot. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I had a lot on my plate. I was tortured to death, brought back to life, Bruce convinced me to fake my death, Damian was dead, then he wasn’t, everyone hated me for pretending to be dead, and then when I finally started to get things figured out, boom. Bullet to the brain.”

Babs opened her mouth, but Dick cut her off before she could say anything.

“I don’t like talking about it, and that’s all I’m going to say. Moving on. Anyway, I realized that I was not happy like that. I didn’t feel like myself. And I realized… I feel the most like myself when I’m with you.” He kept his gaze on hers expectantly.

“Dick- I-“ she started, but she couldn’t choose what to say. After a breath, she tried again. “This isn’t going to be nearly as sweet and sappy as what you just said, but thank you, everything you said means a lot. Wow. I-” She had to take a break to get her voice under control and to quickly blink her teary eyes. She was smiling now. She kept trying to bring her lips together to push it away, but it was hopeless.

“When I’m with you, I feel content. Like, right now, I’m thinking, how long has it been since I felt so at peace, and so happy with my life? And I realized, oh, it’s actually been this way a lot recently. The last time I felt this was actually last week, when we were tracking Mudman through the sewers together and you kept squealing whenever you saw a rat. Even the most disgusting thing is good if you’re there.”

Babs didn’t feel dumb about smiling anymore, because Dick had an equally corny grin on his face. He shifted closer and put his head on Babs’s pillow. “I love you,” he whispered.

Babs tangled her legs with his and brought up an arm to twist his hair with her fingers. “Let’s get engaged. Again,” she said.

“Barbara Gordon, did you just propose to me? In your pajamas?”

“So what if I did, Hunk Wonder?”

“Well,” he said with a sly grin and scooted closer to her under the covers. “I’m not complaining, if it gets me promoted to Hunk Wonder. I’ll be the perfect trophy husband. When you get elected president, everyone will say I’m the handsomest first man the nation has ever seen.”

“Is that a yes? We’re not even dating,” she pointed out.

Dick got serious again as he said, “Babs, I don’t need to date you again to know that I’m 100% certain. You’re my best friend, isn’t that what everyone says? You should marry your best friend? Plus, it helps that every time I see you, I want to sweep you off your feet like in some sappy romance movie and kiss you.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Do it then, you coward.”

Later, as Dick’s heartbeat and his arms around her lulled her to sleep, Babs let go of her longing for the past and was carried off by dreams of the future.

#dickbabsweek #dickbabsweek 2020 #dickbabs #fic #fanfiction #batfamily #nightwing #batgirl #dick grayson #barbara gordon #batfic #the writing is clumsy but my heart is in the right place #i just wanted them to impulsively get engaged okay dont @ me #this is the sappiest thing ive ever written in my entire life.#pseudocanon #in which the story is technically based on canon #but how i wish it were instead of how it is #i'm also gonna post this on ao3 #and i don't think babs has called dick hunk wonder since pre52 but i may be wrong.

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spn-meanttobe · 4 years

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Summaries Part One [1-50]

Claiming Info -- FAQs/Rules The first Claims post will be a separate post going up on Saturday, November 7th at 12 pm EST. The second Claims post will be a separate post going up on Sunday, November 8th at 12 pm EST.

1. A Cowboy's Touch Abigail Jones intends to spend just one summer in middle-of-nowhere Montana with her Aunt Lucy. Time away from her job is just what Abigail needs to reassess her life. The slow pace has her breathing deeply for the first time in years. And the majestic scenery encourages her to get reacquainted with herself... and God. What she didn't count on was the handsome widowed cowboy who owns the ranch where her aunt lives. When the rancher loses his daughter's nanny, Abigail decides to lend a hand for the summer. Wade Ryan can't help being attracted to Abigail. But he's given up everything to protect his daughter, and he's not about to risk it all on a pretty face. 2. A Different Kind of Man Emalea LeBlanc is a different kind of woman. Nicknamed "Doc" by the locals, she's a psychologist, a member of the volunteer search and rescue team and an avid motorcycle enthusiast. But she's haunted by memories of an abusive father and relationships with men who haven't been much better. What she needs is a different kind of man. Someone she can trust. Someone who won't hurt her. Jackson Cooper is the new investigator in Cypress Landing, and Emalea believes she knows his type – big, strong, overbearing. Dangerous. But Jackson has a tragic past of his own. And he's not exactly the kind of man he appears to be…. 3. A Forever Kind of Cowboy She wasn't the kind of woman who would spend the night with a stranger, yet runaway bride Lori Ashford shared one night and so much more with sexy Cord McVane. The innocent beauty had only come to Cord's isolated cabin seeking shelter, but when her rugged protector showed her a passion like no other, she was lost. For Lori had long dreamed of sharing her heart with a strong, honorable man – a man like Cord. And now that she was carrying his child, she hoped this brooding loner could forget his painful past and be her forever man. 4. A Little Christmas Romance There's no such thing as second chances, and Brooke would know. This Christmas will be spent alone and uncelebrated, same as the last. It doesn't matter that she's a disgruntled mall elf, standing next to a chimney-scented Santa with the most annoying co-worker ever. It doesn't make Christmas more magical. It's just another day to endure, and the holiday can't pass fast enough. That is, until her old flame, Chris, spots her. After taking a picture with Brooke in her elf costume, things take an unexpected turn. Maybe getting through the night won't be so difficult after all. 5. A Voice in the Dark No one knew what Noah Graydon looked like, but they'd all heard the rumors. How he'd been broken, even scarred, on his last case. How he never showed his face…until the day he took an overwhelming interest in one very special agent. Angel Carter would have been a serial killer's next victim if not for Noah. The rescue gave her a glimpse into his world of shadows – yet she dared to want more. To really know if the passion between them was real. They would have to come face-to-face if the killer was to be caught – and Noah could only conceal his body from Angel for so long... 6. Abby and the Bachelor Cop Bride-to-be Abigail Callahan has her life mapped out. Good career, wealthy fiancé – it's perfect... too perfect. Then sexy bad-boy-turned-cop Raff Finn reenters Abby's life, landing her with an adorable homeless dog called Kleppy and a whole lot of trouble... Raff's teenage recklessness once broke them apart, but he's not about to let his childhood sweetheart marry the wrong guy. With help from Kleppy and some Banksia Bay magic, Raff plans to reawaken the Abby he's always loved. 7. After Dark When a shocking scandal exposes southern secrets... As the blazing heat of summer gives way to sultry September, a shroud of suspicion settles over Noble's Crossing, a sleepy Alabama town. Nothing is as it seems--and never will be again. Lane Noble Graham stands accused of murdering her ex-husband. And the one man who can help, Johnny Mack Cahill, vowed never to return to the town that scorned him--or the woman whose love he knew he didn't deserve. ...No one is safe from cold-blooded murder. From the rusted-out trailers on the wrong side of the river to the stately pillared mansions along Magnolia Avenue, everybody has something to hide--but one secret could make Lane and Johnny Mack the next targets of a twisted killer, who's struck once and is bent on striking again... 8. Alena The wild heart of a warrior beat in the breast of Alena, daughter to a queen and mother to a king. A Celtic princess, she resolved never to bend to Roman rule. But how could she foresee that the iron fist of Rome would stoke her soul with the velvet glove of passion. Marcus Valerius, Prefect of the Seventh Legion, had proven himself many times over in combat. Now newly come to Britannia, he would ensure the peace – despite the wiles of a tall, tawny-haired barbarian goddess with witchcraft in her lips! 9. Bayou Whispers Plagued by nightmares and fractured memories, Laura Larame returns to her childhood home in the Louisiana bayou, where her mother vanished and she almost drowned. She searches for answers with the handsome Creole who saved her once before. A man who holds the dark magic that isn't finished with her yet. Since childhood, Drew Michel has seen death and the spirits who walk the halls of his family’s ancestral home, and they are warning him—Laura will die. Deep in the swamp, an ancient ritualistic clan is planning to claim her life. Can he defeat the evil that demands her blood and save the woman he has grown to love, or will the bayou claim them both in a demon’s ultimate sacrifice? 10. Big Girls Don't Cry Thanks to a devastating revelation about her husband, Reenie Holbrook's once-perfect marriage is over. For eleven years she had the life she wanted--and now it's gone. Reenie decides that the first step in recovering from her ordeal is to find work; after all, she has three young children to support. She's thrilled when she lands a job at Dundee High teaching history--until Isaac Russell, the man who triggered the unraveling of her marriage, accepts a temporary position teaching science. Then she's tempted to quit. Reenie doesn't care if the whole town admires Isaac... and she won't admit that, secretly, she admires him, too. She doesn't want to see him or his sister in "her" town. But a friendship with the most unlikely woman leads to a relationship with the most unlikely man.. 11. Boss Man The permanent temporary... Blake Kemp was a man who knew his own mind and was as stubborn as the day is long in Jacobsville, Texas. As the town's leading lawyer, he had a reputation to uphold, and he didn't want the tender ministrations of his assistant to get in his way -- even if he desperately needed her, since those big boots of his did have a tendency to step on toes... So, of course, the boss man blew up at pretty, gentle Violet, for having the nerve to, of all things, step on his toes, causing her to leave him in a cloud of Texas dust. But being a smart as well as hardheaded man, Blake could soon see that without his guiding light, his life would be in darkness. Only one thing to do -- hire her back and make sure that business didn't mess with matters of the heart...on or off the job! 12. Bound to the Sicilian's Bed Rocco's outrageous proposition: His estranged wife will spend one final weekend in his bed! When Rocco's runaway wife asks for a divorce, the Sicilian billionaire seizes his chance! They've never discussed their painful past, but this is the perfect opportunity to get Nicole out of his system for good. He offers her a deal: if Nicole wants to move on with her life, she will be his one last time! 13. Brothers Without Borders For Avery Grey, life wasn't easy. He was smaller than most guys and nerdy, a real prize winner. And, as if this wasn't enough, he was gay and in love with the one person he knew it was wrong to desire. Rather than deal with the heartbreak, he chose to dedicate himself to medical school. Hunter Grey, the tough guy athlete tried to focus on everything other than the one person who caused the ache inside his heart. For years, he had managed to keep his secret locked up inside him. Although some of his teammates didn't know he was gay, this was the least of his worries. His biggest secret haunted him and had him waking up in the middle of the night soaked to the bone in sweat. The guilt and disgust within him tore him apart each day. When secrets are exposed, how will an unconventional love between brothers change the lives of these two men? Can their bond and love for each other survive and flourish, or will it ultimately rip them apart? 14. Claimed by a Vampire Beautiful and independent, writer Yvonne Dupuis is used to taking care of herself. But when she moves into her new apartment and senses a demon watching her every move, stalking her at every turn, she has no choice but to put her life in the hands of a dangerously sexy vampire. From the first whiff of Yvonne's intoxicating scent, Investigator Creed Preston knows his client has something to fear. Under Creed's protection, she will be drawn irresistibly in by his secrets and experience the sheer force of immortal desire. And not a moment too soon. For the evil hunting her isn't acting alone – and he won't stop until he claims her for his very own…. 15. Closer Encounters To Drew "The Riever" McDowell, this seemed like a fairly straightforward assignment: track down Tracy Brandt and find out her connection to a top secret mission. But when Drew finds her, he realizes Tracy has a mission of her own – solving the sixty-year-old murder of Trixie Halston, a mysterious, mesmerizing singer of the 1940s. In fact, Tracy's obsession with Trixie goes beyond interest – at times she actually seems to become Trixie. She goes from demure but contemporary woman to the brazen big band singer on a dime. And the scary thing is – Drew is falling hard. For both of them… 16. Club Arcana: Operation Janus Beneath librarian Angus McAslan's respectable demeanor thrums the heart of an adventurer. He dreams of traversing the globe, exploring ancient ruins, and discovering amazing scientific breakthroughs. And unbeknownst to even his dear devoted mother, he's just put the finishing touches on his own epic novel about a swashbuckler on Venus-- complete with illustrations! But after inadvertently reciting a summoning spell, Angus finds himself thrust into an adventure beyond even his own wildest imaginings. Suddenly, demon-possessed pupils try to kill him. Half-human creatures stalk him. His mother reveals herself as a witch, and his wizard uncle proclaims it high time Angus joins the family business. Complicating matters: the exquisitely handsome young man--bearing an uncanny resemblance to the aforementioned Venusian swashbuckler--sent by his uncle to collect Angus, and the suave, aristocratic warlock who materializes with dire warnings of a resurrected Elder God called Janus. 17. Dark Descent For each, there could be only one. They came from the darkest places: secluded monasteries, the Carpathian mountains, galaxies under siege. They were men with the blackest pasts--warriors, vampire monks, leaders of armies--but whose passions burned like dying stars. They had one purpose: to find those women who fulfilled them, completed them, and made them rage with a fire both holy and profane. They sought soul mates whose touch consumed them with desire, yet whose kisses refreshed like the coolest rain. And each man knew that for him there was only one true love--and in finding her, he would find salvation. 18. Dark Temptation Had special-effects genius Jason McLain really murdered his wife, as the tabloids claimed? Valerie Wiggins approached his spooky old house, hoping to convince him to help make their Halloween charity event truly frightening. But when he opened the door, her heart raced not with fright but sizzling arousal. Jason feared caring for Val would put her in danger, but could helping him face his demons silence her own? 19. Deadly Gamble Mojo's got an uncanny knack for winning at slots, but her home sweet home is Bad-Ass Bert's Biker Saloon. She'd love to go undercover with an irresistibly hot cop, but he's got baggage as big as his biceps. Mojo survived a mysterious childhood tragedy, but she's never quite figured out who she really is or how to get on with her life. Now the wisecracking Mojo is seeing ghosts – the ectoplasmic kind – and turning up baffling clues to her real identity. And she'll need all her savvy and strange new talent to keep someone from burying her – and the truth – for keeps. 20. Decadent Club Casablanca – an exclusive gentlemen's club where exotic hostesses cater to the every need of high-stakes gamblers, politicians and big-business execs. No rules apply. And no unescorted women are allowed. Ever. But Ally Danner has to get in – to rescue her sister from the club's obsessive owner, Jason Aragon. And undercover FBI agent Sam Sinclair is just the man to help her. In return she'll use her inside knowledge to get Sam the evidence he needs to put Jason away. Only, once they get caught up in the club's hedonistic allure, the only favors they end up trading are sensual…. 21. Deception Cove In the world of Harmony, Rainshadow Island is home to a mysterious preserve, secrets that have been kept for centuries, and a treasure worth killing for... As a light-talent, Alice North has the rare ability to make things disappear, including herself--a gift that comes in handy during her magic act with her dust bunny Houdini. Business mogul Drake Sebastian is day-blind, since his sight was nearly destroyed in a lab accident. But he's the one man who can see Alice when she disappears--and he needs her. On Rainshadow Island, two dangerous Old World crystals are missing, igniting a paranormal storm. Drake thinks Alice is the key to finding them, and proposes they head there, but only after a Marriage of Convenience. Alice's honeymoon on Rainshadow is guaranteed to be memorable, as the island--and the passion between her and Drake--is about to explode... 22. Defender Dragon Lucas is a prince and a dragon shifter who left his country to become a bodyguard at Protection, Inc., an all-shifter private security company. Then his past caught up with him, forcing him home for an arranged marriage to a princess who isn't his mate. Neither of them wants the match, but they can't escape it… unless one of them finds their true mate first. Journey Jacobson is a free-spirited backpacker traveling the world. When she runs out of money, it looks like her adventuring days have come to an end. Then she attends a lavish ball to celebrate the upcoming engagement of Prince Lucas. Sparks fly between Lucas and Journey until she flees at midnight, leaving behind nothing but a shoe. Lucas sets out to find his mate, but that's just the beginning of his quest. Can he protect her from the mysterious assassins trying to kill her? And can restless Journey and lonely Lucas take the biggest risk of their adventurous lives, and open their wounded hearts to love? 23. Delicious Cal Buchanan needs a top-flight chef to take over his failing Seattle restaurant, The Waterfront. He can afford to hire the best in town – the only problem is that the best happens to be his ex-wife, Penny Jackson. Penny really needs this opportunity, but she doesn't need the distraction of working with her ex. She's sworn off romance – she's even having a baby on her own. But before she knows it, the heat is on…and the attraction between her and Cal moves from a low simmer to a full boil! The rest should be easy as pie, but a secret from Cal's past could spoil everything. Maybe it's true that too many cooks spoil the broth – or maybe two is enough to make it irresistible. 24. Double Jeopardy Ellie Landau couldn't pass up the invitation to a murder mystery weekend. It was even harder to pass up fellow player Jed Thorpe. Only Jed was the "killer," and Ellie wound up fighting for her life. Back in the real world, Ellie was the management consultant for Cludds Haberdashers, a simple enough job until she realized that something was terribly wrong there - and that Jed was intimately involved. Then someone tried to kill her for real. Ellie was in double jeopardy. Was she falling in love with the one man who could save her life - or end it? 25. Dream Man Detective Dane Hollister of the Orlando police department has never met anyone quite like Marlie Keen. While he has doubts about her supposed clairvoyant powers, she sees crimes as they're being committed, there is no doubt about how much he desires her. To Marlie, Dane is all heat and hard muscle, and he makes her body come alive as it never has before. But not even she can foresee that their passion will lead them on a dangerous journey into the twisted mind of a madman who will threaten their happiness and their lives. 26. Exposed Beautiful, sophisticated, and engaged to the son of a Senator, Evie Masterson has the perfect life. Except for one thing: it's all based on a lie. Five years ago, she created a new identity for herself and cut all ties to her criminal past. But she can't run forever, because something she witnessed years ago comes back to haunt her. And the only person there to help is the man she thought she left behind forever-the one man she's never been able to forget. Devastatingly gorgeous and just as ruthless, Riley Everett is the criminal for hire who once stole Evie's heart. Years have gone by, but he's never been able to forget her either. Now her life is in jeopardy, and even after all this time, he'd still do anything to protect her, even if that means breaking into her mansion and stealing her away. As they hide from the world, their long-lost passion reignites. But despite their undeniable chemistry, Evie can't give up the perfect life she's been working toward... and Riley has no part in it. 27. Fancy Pants They're caviar and beer. Kerosene on fire. They're going to fall in love. She was the most beautiful British bauble in Europe's jet-set playgrounds. Now she's broke, furious, and limping down a backwoods road in an ugly pink Southern Belle gown... He was tall, lean and All-American gorgeous. He liked his brews cold and women loved to keep him warm. Why in hell is he stopping his car for this woebegone, surly Scarlett? 28. Find Me Investigative reporter Sarah Newton debunks supernatural myths, and forces the truth to light whether people want to hear it or not. Now, with a popular teenager found tortured and murdered – and another girl missing – Sarah's out to prove it's not the work of an ancient curse, but a cold-blooded killer. She'll expose one Maine village's darkest secrets …while keeping the truth about her own past hidden from view. As Youngstown's newest councilman, Kale Conner's unofficial job is to minimize the bad publicity from Sarah's stories and, if possible, to keep her in line. But with time running out, and his own family at stake, Kale's finding his neighbors' terrible deeds might be too deadly to sweep under the rug…and he and Sarah are headed toward a heated endgame with only one shocking way out... 29. Groomed for Murder Brooke Palmer's exclusive doggie spa, Pawlish, is sued when a client's pampered champion gets a bad poodle cut. The client's lawyer is drop-dead gorgeous Drew Hudson, but Brooke won't be wooed by a corporate shark in a sharp suit. This frivolous lawsuit is Drew's chance to advance to partner, but things get complicated when he finds that the side he's rooting for isn't the side he's fighting for. 30. Her Favorite Rival A new meaning for office politics: Audrey Mathews has worked hard to get here. Now she's up for a promotion and nothing will stand in her way – including Zach Black. He's hot, smart and the competition. When they're assigned to the same project, she's shocked at how much she actually likes about him…and how much she misjudged him. Before long Audrey is seriously falling for Zach – and indulging in an affair that's against company policy. And the stakes rise when it's clear only one of them can get ahead. So where do they draw the line between competition and love? Especially when she doesn't want to lose either the promotion or the guy…. 31. Hero Special Forces soldier, Haze Welch, is military born and raised. Serving the country is what the Welch men do, and all Haze has ever wanted. But during an 18-month tour overseas, his world shatters in an instant. Haze gets injured and is not able to return to active duty. Unable to face the thought of spending the rest of his life behind a desk, he accepts a job offer as a personal bodyguard in Los Angeles for the flighty heiress Leighton Machus. After all, one spoiled little girl would be a piece of cake compared to everything else I've been through, right? Little does Haze Welch know, he's about to get a rude awakening. 32. Hissy Fit The night before her wedding, in the middle of an oh-so-smart rehearsal dinner, interior decorator Keeley Murdock chances upon her fiancé and maid of honor in flaming flagrante delicto. Keeley throws the hissy fit to end all hissy fits and storms out. The next day, though, she has to deal not only personally with a broken engagement but also with her business being shut out by folks in a town financially obligated to her ex. Rescue comes in the form of the new owner of the local bra plant. This guy is a hunk but he's also a teensy bit weird, since he hires Keeley to redo the broken-down antebellum mansion he's bought for the woman of his dreams. The trouble is, he's never met said woman. So Keeley dives in and finds that true love can come even to those who throw humdinger hissy fits. 33. Hold Your Breath Lou's new to the Rockies, intent on escaping her oh-so-controlling ex, and she's determined to make it on her own terms...no matter how tempting new ice dive captain Callum Cook may be. But when a routine training exercise unearths a body, Lou and Callum find themselves thrust into a game of cat and mouse with a killer who'll stop at nothing to silence Lou—and prove that not even her faithful Search and Rescue brotherhood can keep her safe forever. Lou is a hurricane. A walking disaster. Perfect chaos in every way. And with her, Callum's never felt more alive...even if keeping her safe may just kill him. 34. Home to Seaview Key Falling for a handsome stranger on the very morning they meet is hardly what recently divorced Abby Miller planned for her return to Seaview Key. Hoping to mend an old friendship and to give back to the community she loves, Abby's definitely not looking for love. For ex-soldier Seth Landry, Seaview Key seems like the perfect place to heal a broken heart…eventually. And when he rescues a beautiful woman on the beach, his nightmares about the past are eclipsed by daydreams about the future. Neither Abby nor Seth are looking for forever, but powerful love has its own timetable. And taking a chance on the future will test their courage in ways neither of them could possibly have anticipated. 35. How the Cowboy Was Won Ember Alzate is a fantastic matchmaker with one big problem: she can't find the perfect mate for herself! Alzate family legend says that when she kisses "the One" she'll hear a mysterious humming in her head. Well, Ember's kissed a lot of guys and she's never heard a thing. Now, instead of searching for herself, she vows to find her best friend, Ranger Lockhart, a bride. It's clear this smart, sexy man just needs to meet the right gal. Ranger's returned home to Cupid with marriage on his mind, but he's not interested in the parade of women Ember pushes under his nose. His thoughts keep returning to his best friend -- with her combustible combination of curves and sass. No one compares to Ember, but what's it going to take to convince her she's the woman for him? 36. How to Date an Alien High school senior Alex Bianchi's estranged father gets her an internship at Circe Operations Center to pad her college applications. But Circe isn't your typical military base. It's an alien-run operation center and not all of the aliens are friendly, especially the one that tries to kill Alex on her first day. When Ace, a dark-eyed Caltian, enters and saves the day, she can't help but be drawn to him. Can these star-crossed lovers survive when they're on the brink of intergalactic war? 37. How to Kill Your Boss When Tatum's daydreams of murder become a reality, all fingers point to her. In Tatum Wood's opinion, murdering her boss on a daily basis within the safety of her thoughts is better than therapy. Until he takes a swan dive off a building and all evidence points to her. Thank goodness she has Franklin Reed. Her mysterious, overprotective and drop-dead gorgeous coworker is all too eager to play hero. With two attacks in her building and her stalker with a penchant for roses, Franklin's injection into her life couldn't have come at a better time. As Tatum and Franklin scramble to discover who's behind the murder, secrets are unearthed that question his motives…as well as his identity. 38. How to Marry a Marquis She’s trying to follow the rules… When Elizabeth Hotchkiss stumbles upon a copy of How to Marry a Marquis in her employer’s library, she’s convinced someone is playing a cruel joke. With three younger siblings to support, she knows she has to marry for money, but who might have guessed how desperate she’s become? A guidebook to seduction might be just the thing she needs—and what harm could there be in taking a little peek? …But he’s making his own. James Sidwell, the Marquis of Riverdale, has been summoned to rescue his aunt from a blackmailer, a task that requires him to pose as the new estate manager, and his primary suspect is his aunt’s companion, Elizabeth. Intrigued by the alluring young woman with the curious little rulebook, he gallantly offers to help her find a husband… by practicing her wiles on him. But when practice becomes all too perfect, James decides that there is only one rule worth following—that Elizabeth marry her marquis. 39. Howling in the Darkness Danger! Undercover agent Jonah Ries couldn't explain to the stunning woman who'd mistaken him for her blind date exactly how he knew someone was trying to harm her. But evil stalked Moriah's Landing, and Katherine Ridgemont was its target. When she learned of Jonah's deep secret, Kat might not give him the time of day. Only that wouldn't stop Jonah from watching over the vulnerable beauty after dark. As the anniversary of Kat's mother's mysterious death approached, the instinct to protect became a fire in Jonah's blood. A fire matched by his determination to save the woman he loved from the unknown forces that haunted the night... 40. In the Groove She wouldn't know a NASCAR star if he hit her with his car... and he just did. Sarah was a kindergarten teacher until a sleazy ex-boyfriend got her fired. Now the only job she can find is driving the motor coach for racing star Lance Cooper. She doesn't know a thing about NASCAR – and she's off to a rocky start when she doesn't recognize her ultra-famous boss. Lance can't help but notice Sarah's sweet smile – and how seriously unimpressed she is with his fame. Her reaction piques his interest – and he's convinced she's a good-luck charm. But Sarah has no interest in Lance's jet-setting life; she'd rather deal with spitballs than one super-sexy race car driver. Too bad whenever he comes near her she turns hot as race fuel. Soon things begin to heat up on the track, and Sarah begins to wonder if she might be able to teach one famous race car driver a few lessons about love 41. Into the Night Sheltered in the shadows of the Smoky Mountains is the suspect who's summoned FBI agent Macey Night's fears to the surface. Every day that the "Profiler," a vigilante serial killer, escapes justice is another day she's reminded of what it is to be a ruthless predator's prey. Capturing him is a craving deeper than anything she's felt in a long time. But Agent Bowen Murphy, equal parts sexy and volatile, seems hell-bent on changing that. Working together—needing, living and breathing each other—they're entwined to distraction. Bowen's used to operating on impulse: act, don't feel. Now Macey and the controlled terror behind her beautiful eyes have him rethinking everything, including his rule to never get close to a colleague. He's willing to fight for a future with Macey, but the consequences of love could be deadly. 42. Killjoy Her razor-sharp mind and ability to decipher evidence have made Avery Delaney an expert crime analyst for the FBI. Now she will have to use every one of her skills on a case that hits painfully close to home. Avery's beloved aunt Carolyn was on her way to a posh spa in the Colorado mountains. But she never arrived. Now, with scant clues and fewer resources, Avery must track down Carolyn -- and outmaneuver a brilliant killer named Monk who is part of an elaborate plot of madness and lethal vengeance. 43. Lawless Five years ago, Judd Dunn, a hard-edged Texas Ranger, put Christabel Gaines's father behind bars – where he belonged. But Judd's involvement in Crissy's life was far from over. With their jointly owned ranch on the verge of bankruptcy, Judd wed her in name only, vowing to save their land, and vowing to ignore the sexual tension between them. Now, just when Judd decides to release Crissy from their sham of a marriage, he is blindsided by a bloodthirsty foe who is setting the stage for unspeakable evil by preying upon Judd's greatest weakness – his wife. No longer a starry-eyed schoolgirl, Crissy's a smart, fearless woman with unfulfilled desires. And she will do anything in the name of love – including taking a bullet for her husband. With their very lives at stake, Crissy and Judd must confront their darkest demons, their new rivals and their deepest desires – and face up to a mutual destiny they cannot outrun. 44. Lone Star Santa Kristen Zaleski is home for the holidays... indefinitely. Her acting career hasn't taken off -- in fact, it hasn't gone anywhere. So now she's spending her days helping out at her dad's P.I. office. Until Mitch Donner comes by and lights up her life. Sort of... Mitch is back at his parents' place, too. As a successful accountant who'd been set up to take the fall in a money-laundering scheme, Mitch isn't quite sure what to do. So he takes a job installing Christmas lights... and gets an early present when he runs into Kristen. Especially when she offers her newly acquired P.I. skills to help him get his life back. Working together, they plot an elaborate sting operation, one that will take a miracle to pull off. Then again, anything is possible at Christmas -- especially if it involves mistletoe! 45. Long, Hot Texas Summer A sassy redhead with an axe to grind… After catching her husband kissing another woman in the barn, Loretta Sullivan Bailey left Lonesome Canyon Ranch and swore she'd never come back. But when her daughter threatens to drop out of college to become a rancher's wife, Loretta refuses to let her baby make the same mistake she did. She returns to the ranch, determined to get her daughter back in school by the summer's end…and resolute on ignoring her feelings for her ex-husband. A bullheaded but oh so sexy cowboy… A cowboy from his hat to his boots, ruggedly handsome rancher Jackson Bailey is none too pleased that his feisty -- and gorgeous -- ex-wife has suddenly shown up seventeen years after their divorce. But despite all their fighting and fussing, the two stubborn former lovers soon discover that old flames burn the hottest. Can they finally put aside their differences and find happiness together…forever? 46. Looking for Laura Sally Driver is a widow trying to move on with her life when she finds a stack of perfume-scented love letters from her late husband, Paul, had received from a mysterious woman named Laura. Todd Sloane was Paul's best friend and he feels betrayed that his friend would keep such a secret from him. Together Sally and Todd go looking for Laura, but with luck on their side, they may just find something more meaningful along the way... 47. Making Him Sweat Round 1: In this corner is admittedly romantic Jenna Wilinski, who's inherited a rather seedy boxing gym from her estranged father. With it, she can realize her dream of launching an upscale matchmaking business…provided she can take on the very intimidating – and wickedly hot – boxer who stands in her way! Round 2: In the far corner is former pro boxer Mercer Rowley. He's the only one who can protect his "home" – even if it is a little run-down – from his determined and feisty little opponent. But man, once the gloves come off, his hands just want to touch her everywhere… Round 3: This matchup is too close to call. But no matter which contender comes out on top, the other is sure to enjoy every minute of it…. 48. Marry Me at Christmas To bridal boutique owner Madeline Krug, organizing a Christmas wedding sounds like a joy - until she finds out she'll be working closely with the gorgeous brother of the bride, movie star Jonny Blaze. How will a small-town girl like her keep from falling for the world's sexiest guy? Especially with mistletoe lurking around every corner! Jonny came to Fool's Gold looking for normal, not for love. Happily-ever-after only happens in the movies. Still, nothing about this quirky town is quite what he expected, and "ordinary" Madeline is the most extraordinary woman he's ever met. Refreshingly honest, disarmingly sweet. Achingly beautiful. Planning the perfect wedding leads to candlelit dinners and strolls through snow-covered streets. And Madeline finds Jonny in real life even more captivating than her celebrity crush. But will the action star be brave enough to risk his heart and step into the role of a lifetime? 49. Mischief Imogen Waterstone needed a man, and not just any man: one with an implacable will and nerves of iron. That's why she invited Matthias Marshall, the Earl of Colchester, to her home. For who better than the legendary explorer to help her lure a ruthless enemy to ruin. Yet when Imogen urges Matthias to masquerade as her spellbound suitor -- and let it be known that she possesses a priceless treasure map -- she never anticipates his electrifying response -- or her own. Suddenly, the unconventional lady is in the thrall of true passion... and vulnerable to a malevolent threat that emerges from the labyrinth of London society. 50. My Front Page Scandal Brooke Winfield is the devoted and dependable daughter of one of Boston's oldest families. So what is she doing on the back of a motorcycle in the middle of the night with sexy bad-boy ballplayer David Carrera? Elated by that recklessness, Brooke decides she's ready to take a Martini dare--and what a dare! Her performance at a posh strip club lands her back in David's arms for another unforgettable night... and in the tabloids the next morning.

#mod post #summaries 2020 #spn meant to be #spn meanttobe

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alecmagnuslwb · 4 years

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Writer’s Month 2020 Day One

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The door swings open right on cue just like it has at three o’clock on the second Tuesday of every month this year.

Jason looks up from where he’d been sketching at the front desk when the little bell above the door chimes and he hates to admit he freezes for a moment. Roy Harper looks good, really good. He’s cut his hair since the last time he saw him for his monthly tattoo in July and it gives Jason a whole new view to admire.

The shoulder length red tresses are gone his hair now shaved down on the sides and a little longer at the top. Jason likes it, it gives him a view of Roy’s strong neck that had previously been covered. Roy lifts an arm running his hand through the top of his hair as he gives Jason one of those big beaming smiles he always seems to sport. The movement highlights his biceps which are blissfully exposed due to the oppressive August heat of the city.

He slips the beat-up grey trucker hat in his hand on his head backwards once he reaches the desk leaning on it with his strong exposed forearms.

“Hey, ya Jaybird. Ready for me?” he asks that grin still on his lips.

“Always,” Jason says closing up his sketchbook.

Jason moves back a bit so that he and Roy aren’t practically nose to nose. Not that he doesn’t want them to be nose to nose it’s just that they aren’t there yet. They might never be, he’s not really sure what’s going on between them if he’s being honest.

Jason and Roy have technically known each other since they were teens, back when they were Robin and Speedy the children of two of the most known superheroes in the world, but Jason made a choice to hang up the pixie boots before he graduated high school for his own mental and physical health and Roy chose the same after his first round in rehab had nearly killed him.

After that their paths had diverted. Jason had gone to art school and promptly dropped out a year later to pursue art on his own terms. Roy had attempted an engineering degree, but his mind was lightyears ahead of anything any college could teach so he’d flunked out for not doing his assignments properly ever.

Then came a dark year for both of them, a year that no amount of therapy will every completely wash away. Jason had hit rock bottom with is career and his estrangement from Bruce for choosing a world outside of vigilantism came to a violent head while Roy hit his own rock bottom at the end of a needle.

It took years of failed relationships, bad decisions and hard work for them both to pull themselves back up out of it all, only ever really hearing about each other’s struggles through the gossip grapevine that is Dick Grayson.

Eventually Roy made his way back to Star City. Upon finding out he had a daughter he had gotten truly sober and stable for the first time in his life with the support of his dysfunctional super family. He made amends with Oliver, primarily through Dinah’s stubborn insistence they work it out, took to single fatherhood in a way he’d never taken to anything so quickly and got a job at a florist’s shop giving himself a peaceful place to spends his days that allows him to tinker with every new invention he can in his spare time without the stress of making exploding arrows to fight crime at night.

Jason had had a similar path. He and Bruce still rest on shaky ground and he’s fairly certain they always will, but he’s good with his brood of siblings again and putting his art expression into something as permanent as tattoos has been therapeutic.

Moving to Star City for Jason had been a whim. He needed out of Gotham, he’d saved up enough to start his own shop to truly make a name for himself, but he couldn’t do it in a city that was swimming in Bats. Dick had been the one to suggest Star, at the time Jason hadn’t thought anything of it. Had just assumed he was sending him to a town that still had the comfort of rampant vigilantism, but with the advantage of being on the other side of the country from anything with the name Wayne slapped on it.

Ever since Roy came walking into his shop, Bat Tats a name he 100% chose to piss of his adoptive father, eight months ago on Dick’s suggestion Jason thinks maybe his overbearing brother had ulterior motives. That maybe there’s a reason Dick is one of the few people who understands why Jason and Roy have become so close.

So here they are now two former sidekicks with their fair share of daddy issues and trauma doing a little bit better in every aspect of their lives every day and finding a friendship in one another Jason’s come to treasure.

“No Lian today?” Jason asks as Roy moves on autopilot to his usual station to take a seat.

Roy shakes his head taking off his hat and throwing it on the wall ledge behind him.

“I love that little girl more than anything, but keeping her sitting still and entertained for an extended period of time can be a struggle, especially when she knows she could be playing outside,” he says chuckling. Jason smiles remembering some of the previous months when she had tagged along and the way Lian had twirled around on a swivel chair asking Jason a million questions and briefly running into one of the brick walls when she spun a little too hard. “Don’t need her distracting you so much you end up accidentally inking me with something that looks like a dick.”

“Lian is no distraction, trust me, she’s a delight,” Jason responds with a smile as he sets up his station. He means it Lian is a ball of energy with a smile like her father and wit far greater than most adults Jason has met. Roy is far more of a distraction, his tattoo in April which had been on his bare chest had nearly killed Jason. “And if I was going to tattoo a dick on you there would be nothing accidental about it.”

Roy full out belly laughs and Jason loves the sound.

“Speaking of dick’s,” he says as he rolls up his chair to Roy’s side snapping on his gloves. “You sure you don’t want that Nightwing tattoo? It’s a best seller.”

Jason tilts his head up to the wall where proudly, because Dick framed it the ass that he is, is the Nightwing symbol with a gold plate below it reading #1 bestseller. If Jason didn’t like paying his bills he’d probably stop offering it, but the last three months has seen a surge in his popularity since he and Babs essentially stopped an apocalypse on their own and Jason has found himself with at least a dozen requests for the symbol every week.

“Not a chance, I will not take part in fluffing Grayson’s ego, I refuse,” Roy says before gesturing down at his body. “This body is temple now.”

Damn right it is, Jason thinks eyes lingering a little too long at the body in question. Long enough that he’s pretty sure he’s been caught so he clears his throat not meeting Roy’s eye as he loads up the tattoo gun.

He doesn’t see Roy smirk as he stretches out his arm for Jason and he definitely doesn’t notice how Roy watches the white streaks at the front of his hair fall over his eyes intently as he bends his head to get to work.

Today’s tattoo is a simple one. A small date that’s just a few days away to be added onto his ‘Lian forearm’ as they call it, alongside her name, the word for daughter in Navajo and a handful of little drawings Lian herself has proudly designed. The date marks his fifth year of sobriety, the day he decided to be there for his little girl for the rest of his days.

They chat while Jason works, Jason trying to ignore the way Roy’s scars feel warm under his fingers at every pass. Roy gives an update on Lian as back to school nears and Jason updates him on the weirdest tattoo requests he’s had the past few weeks. His personal favorite being the 82-year-old grandma who’d come in requesting a tattoo of a lion’s head that her grandson designed.

Roy chuckles as Jason finishes up getting the materials to wrap up the new ink.

“Well she sounds cool as hell, any chance she’s willing to take on new grandchildren?” he asks.

“I asked, she said she could direct me to some equally as cool friends since she’s already got 13 of her own,” Jason chuckles as he finishes wrapping up. “All done.”

He pulls away with a smile snapping the gloves off and throwing them in a nearby trash can. They walk back up to the front together, Roy paying and tipping him way too much like he always does.

“You’re absolutely worth it,” Roy says when Jason tries to wave off the excessive tip. Jason’s breath catches, the context isn’t remotely what Jason’s dumb gay brain is thinking, but it feels loaded anyways.

Jason brushes it off best he can. “If you say so,” he shrugs.

“I do,” Roy says back instantly not missing a beat. Jason’s about to ask him if his tattoo streak is going to continue next month, but Roy beats him to it.

“I know we usually have a monthly date here and I do plan to keep that up, Lian has a killer new idea with a lizard wearing a top hat,” Roy says a little nervousness in his words. He reaches up adjusting his hat, a nervous tick Jason has picked up on over the months, it’s a little thing most people would overlook, but no matter how much time passes his training from Bruce is always there telling him to watch every little move and tick of every person he encounters. “But I was thinking we could have another date before that, you know not here and not you giving me a tattoo. Maybe over dinner?”

Jason’s eyes drop down to Roy’s at that quickly looking away from where he’d been watching him play with his hat.

Evidently Jason is quiet for far too long because Roy starts to fumble the hat around even more.

“Obviously if I’ve read everything wrong all these months then we can just act like this never happened and call it nothing more than a friend hang,” Roy rambles. “Or you know just let me die of embarrassment for a few more minutes and we’ll only ever see each other inside these four walls.”

“No,” Jason says finally snapping out of his shock that Roy just asked him out. “I mean yes, yes I’d love to go to dinner with you on a date.”

Roy puts his hat back on properly and smiles that big smile of his again.

“Great, how about Friday? Lian’s having a sleepover at Dinah and Ollie’s, so I’d be all yours for the evening,” Roy says, there is a little bit of implication in his words, months of built up charm and light flirting via friendship slipping in.

“Friday works for me,” Jason replies easy with his own smile no doubt as big as Roy’s.

#my fic #writersmonth2020 #jayroy #jason todd #roy harper #fun fact idk if i like writing jayroy but i've commited to three fics for them this month so i'm putting them out there #30 more days to go

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a-crimson-lion · 5 years

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Parallels, Parallels, Parallels

[We got a double hitter, fellas. For the sake of courtesy, you may want to leave if you don't like Bakugo bashing. Just a fair warning.]

Part 1: Kacchan and Deku

Like it or not, Horikoshi made it his mission to make sure that his protagonist Izuku and Katsuki had heaps of parallels.

For the most part, it's really prominent.

Katsuki acts as a foil for Izuku. He was born with a powerful quirk, Izuku was quirkless. He's loudmouthed and abrasive, Izuku's softspoken and understanding. He has no inate will to help people by default, Izuku will leap to the defense of an innocent person before he can think. The list goes on.

The best way it's highlighted is during the U.A. Entrance Exam: Katsuki gets in on only Villain Points. Izuku gets in on only Rescue Points.

On another note, Izuku and Katsuki both represent various aspects of luck and work. All Might once said something along the lines of "There are those who gain power through luck, and those who work to earn power. Know the difference." This fits some of the more prominent characteristics of Izuku and Katsuki.

Katsuki's Explosion quirk is essentially a very big play of luck. That's not to say he doesn't work hard, but the work he does accomplish is more for maintaining his high position, and less about going further beyond. Izuku is different. Getting One for All was incredibly lucky, but the work Izuku had to put in to obtain and control the quirk was definitely not just luck. He cleaned and entire beach just to get the quirk, and as of now, he only recently learned to control 8% of OFA, as well as 20% in short bursts and 100% without reprocussions when a small child is connected to him and actively reversing the damage. And said small child's quirk is a freak mutation, so someone has to stop her quirk to make sure Izuku isn't erased from existance when he isn't actively on the bone hurting juice.

Which brings me to my next point: going beyond.

There are only three major instances where we see Katsuki seriously push his limits (no, Howitzer Impact doesn't count because:

It's a super move.

By itself, it doesn't really result in major reprocussions.)

The first time we ever see something close to Katsuki reaching his limit is during the infamous Katsuki vs Ochako fight at the Sports Festival. Katsuki manages to pull off a gigantic explosion seemingly out of his ass, defeating Ochako and her well thought out plan at the cost of his arms starting to experience strain. The second instance is during the final exams, where Katsuki is trying (and failing) to take down All Might, even blasting past his gauntlets' safety precautions and going so far as to try and bite All Might's hand when he's out of stamina. The third notable occasion is at I-Island, where he pushes past his already reached limits in order to help take down the powered up Wolfram.

With the potential exception of the third example, there's nothing all that special about him pushing past his limits.

His motivation is just that he wants to win, end of story. He wanted to beat Ochako? BOOM, big explosion. He wanted to beat All Might? BOOM, big explosions, but he still fails (remember that the only reason he passed is because Izuku is selfless and came back for his sorry behind). I-Island is more of the same, but in that instance he's working towards a team goal, AND he's rooting for All Might, so admittably the circumstances are different.

So how does Izuku going beyond differ from Katsuki?

Well, unlike most shonen anime, when Izuku goes beyond, there are actual consequences. Izuku tries to save Katsuki from the sludge villain? Izuku gets scolded for being reckless (even though the Pros were just standing there, using quirks as an excuse while Katsuki was going trigger happy trying to free himself, and yet he gets praise). Izuku saves Ochako from the Zero Pointer? He breaks his legs and an arm, though he thankfully avoids being turned into a bloody pulp. Izuku tries to save Shoto from himself? He ends up permanently disfiguring his hand after he decides to go all out against Shoto, and eventually gets the incentive to learn what would later become Full Cowl. He wants to save Kota from Muscular? He screws his arms up so bad that he can no longer use them at full power unless he wants them to stop working altogether. The thing about Izuku going beyond is, aside from gaining consequences, he also gains something from the experience.

He got All Might's attention during the Sludge Villain Incident. Ochako saved him after saving her from the Zero Pointer, allowing both of them to pass and eventually leading up to Ochako becoming a close friend of Izuku. Shoto accepted his fire side, and Izuku eventually learned Full Cowl in order to stop breaking his bones as frequently. Kota stops hating heroes, and Izuku eventually teaches himself Shoot Style.

What does Katsuki get from his experiences? "Be stronger."

Which is terrible advice for someone in his position; the proper advice would be to "Be smarter." He should have lost his fight with Ochako and realized that big explosions won't always fix his problems. He should have fought All Might and realized halfway that defeating him would have been impossible, and thus (even reluctantly) decide to cooperate with Izuku. The I-Island incident is the only exception I'll give him, simply because his reasons for going beyond were slightly more noble than normal. And before you bring up Katsuki's quirk's limitations, remember that we didn't see those again until he was fighting ALL MIGHT, WITH HIS GEAR ON. He would have been toast sooner if he didn't have his gauntlets.

But hey, that's my personal opinion. What do I know?

Part 2: King Explosion Murder and Endeavor

Stop me if you've heard this one before: If Izuku equals All Might, then Katsuki equals Endeavor.

Unfortunately, that comparison isn't too far off.

Both of them are egotistical manics looking to surpass All Might (and in Katsuki's case, also Izuku) with powerful quirks and prominent positions of power. They also both have a tendency to use people to meet their own ends. Katsuki didn't give a crap about his fellow teammates during the Cavalry Battle, going off on his own multiple times and not even bothering to recall their names. In the manga, Mina even stated that Katsuki only picked her to counter Shoto's ice when the Cavalry Battle is over, and its been stated that Eijiro only got aboard Katsuki's team because he brought up "taking down Midoriya." This sounds awfully similar to Endeavor (or Enji Todoroki) using his wife Rei in order to "create" a perfect heir (Shoto) in order to surpass All Might.

They're also both sore winners. Shoto lost to Katsuki in the final round of the Sports Festival, and Katsuki has to be chained up because he refuses to accept the victory. Meanwhile, later in the series, Endeavor rages when he's given the position of Number One Hero because he's seen All Might's true form, and suddenly everything he's worked for is for naught, at least in his eyes. Katsuki and Enjialso tendend to be assholes to certain people in particular. Katsuki was (and still is) an asshole to Izuku because he was quirkless and therefore useless (and maybe to some extent, Katsuki feared Izuku's innate heroic nature, so he tried knocking him down to avoid future competition, even if, by Katsuki's words, Izuku wouldn't be competition because he didn't even have a crappy quirk). Endeavor was an asshole to Shoto, sending him through brutal training that no four year old should be subjected to, isolating him from the rest of his family, and driving his mother to insanity, leading to his iconic burn mark on his left side.

What really gets me infuriated about the both of them is how Horikoshi tries to parallel them with actually decent human beings, usually through their redemption arcs.

Katsuki has been compared to Izuku by All Might himself, stating that the two of them are both sides to the same coin: the saving hero, and the winning hero. This comparison would be fair IF Izuku wasn't already learning to be a winning hero (and being a saving hero by default) while Katsuki has yet to show a desire to save beyond his desire to win.

Meanwhile, Endeavor gets parallels to Shoto. "Earlyroki," as Shoto was often referred to by his peers after he opened up, was an ironic reflection of his father, only relying on his ice power in a nearly condescending manner, and also adopting his father's lone wolf attitude. Then there's the whole deal with Endeavor getting a scar on his left side to match Shoto. There's no being subtle with the symbolism.

Although, and this is an unpopular opinion, I do like some aspects of Katsuki and Enji's redemption arcs. For Enji, we're shown that even if he's seemingly willing to change his ways, not every person has to accept his attempt at reconnection. A bad person can turn a new leaf and people are allowed to still not trust them. We don't see this in Katsuki's redemption arc, since everyone is somehow in unanimous agreement that Katsuki didn't do anything seriously wrong. Even though he did. And that's infuriating, specifically for me. What Katsuki's arc IS doing right, is that he actually has the potential to change. He may have abused Izuku for well over a decade, but he's still a kid; he still has time to change, and the changes are starting to form, however subtle they may be. I wish they were less flip floppy in progress and that people in the fandom and in the series weren't exaggerating it so much, but we can't have everything. At least he's better than episode one Katsuki by a notable margin. Meanwhile, Endeavor's been stuck in his ways since he married Rei. He can still change, but his habits will be harder to remove since he didn't learn early on enough that his actions weren't exactly moral.

Well, that's my two cents. If you read it, hope you enjoyed.

-Crimson Lion (13 August 2019)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou #enji todoroki #endeavor #izuku midoriya #shoto todoroki #anti bakugo #anti bakugou #anti endeavor #character analysis #meta #drabble

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aeryn-inara · 5 years

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3 times Max looked after an injured Billy

Okay so new season killed me. This is something I needed to write to get the idea out of my head. It's a little drafty, I wrote in like an hour, and will probably fix up later.

******

Max stood anxiously by the door. She had been standing there for about 5 minutes now. She had run for the first aid kit as soon as her mum had gotten Neil out of the house, they'd only be gone an hour at most, and had planned to help Billy but when she got to his door…. she froze. What if he didn't want her help? It was her fault Neil had got upset.

The reason Billy had gotten suspended was because he was defending her. The boys who he beat up had been picking on her since she start of the semester. It was only after he saw them shove her he lost his temper. What if he was mad she didn't defend him to Neil? She tried but… she had been too scared.

She shook herself. It didn't matter. He needed help cleaning the cuts and… and he can be mad but… she was going to help.

She opened the door to find Billy sitting on his floor, head buried in his knees.

"Billy?"

He raised his head quickly, wiping the tears and snot on his sleeve.

"What do you want?" He snapped.

"I got th-the first aid kit for…" she let the sentence trail off, unable to say what they both knew too well.

Billy looked torn between grateful and embarrassed, but nodded his acceptance.

She quickly scurried over and sat down next to him and started to get the supplies out. Concentrating on the task rather than the bloodied face of her brother.

"You need to get warm water and a cloth" Billy said, breaking into her thoughts.

"What? Why?" She questioned automatically.

"You need to clean the wound before..." He cringed as he shifted to a more upright position. "before anything else. There could be dirt, or something"

Max almost asked how he knew that but quickly changed her mind. Neil. He knew because this wasn't the first time Neil had hurt him.

She nodded and headed to the kitchen for the water and cloth. When she returned she found him checking the injuries out in the mirror.

"Stop freaking out shitbird, it looks worse than it is. Doesn't even need stitches"

She nodded mutely, swallowing around her fear and discomfort, and brought the water and cloth over.

Billy took the supplies from her and began an efficient but perfunctory cleaning of his wounds. After he allowed her to rub the disinfectant on his cuts and put the band-aid on his eyebrow that had been split when his head hit the table.

An awkward silence descended once the task was complete.

"Do reckon it will scar?" Billy asked. Max jumped at the question but couldn't look. She felt guilty enough without knowing he will be permanently marked from her cowardice.

Knocking his shoulder into hers he continued "I mean, not that I need the help, but girls do like scars. Could be this baby will get me a bit of action"

Max looked up to see him waggling his eyebrows, a sly grin on his face. "Gross" she exclaimed with a small smile.

"What? It's a valid question Max. This could send the girls wild. I may have to fight them with a bat"

Max giggled at the picture he painted.

They sat like that for a while. Billy making gross and silly comments and her giggling and answering "gross"

The sound of the car in the driveway sent them silent.

"You better get to bed brat. Susan probably took him to have a drink. You don't want him to see your awake"

She climbed from the floor and headed for the door. When she went to leave she heard Billy say "Thanks Max" as she closed the door behind her.

"You didn't need to do that" Max groused as she handed the frozen peas to Billy.

"What are you on about shitbird?" Billy snaps through a hiss as he places the peas on his bruised, he hopes only bruised, ribs.

"Distract him, you dick." She answers as she sits next to him on his bed.

"What are you on about?" He says as he shifts to give her more room.

"He was mad at me. You didn't need to smart off at him. He wouldn't have… he never… he hasn't… You just… you didn't need to do that, asshole" She huffed, angry at him for his stupidity and angry at herself for allowing him to do it.

"Whatever." He answered, as he leaned back against the wall hoping to stop the spinning in his head. Absently he wondered whether he's had another concussion.

Her muttered "Jerk" sounded louder than it was and he flinched at the sound.

"Do you need painkillers?" She asked after she saw his flinch.

"Leave it. He's probably still in the lounge room" Neil was still fuming when Billy had managed to get off the floor and Billy was reluctant to remind him of his original reason for his ire. Max would have to walk through to get to the bathroom.

"I can ask mum, she usually has--"

He interrupted her to snap "I said leave it, Max! Susan ain't gonna give me shit." His anger at the doormat his father married higher than normal after watching her try to fade into the background as Neil started going off at her daughter. She didn't give a shit about him other than as convenient punching bag for Neil. Anyone but her.

"How's your hand?" Billy asked.

"What?" She looked up from her lap, confused.

"Your hand, shitbird. Did you hurt it when you punched that dweeb that was bothering you?"

She looked at her bruised knuckles "Not to bad." Then stretched her fingers out, testing the movement "I did it how you showed me."

"Good." He said with a small nod, then added "Next time remember to put the fear of God into him so he doesn't go running to his mother like little bitch."

She giggled suddenly and said "He cried."

"Yeah?"

"Snotty tears. It was super gross, it got everywhere."

Billy let out a choked laugh "Serves the punk right. No one touches you who you don't want. He won't try that again"

They shared a smile.

"Now get the fuck out of my room brat. I need to sleep"

"Asshole" she answered back before getting up to leave.

She grabbed the melted peas as she watched her brother curl into his bed. As she left she almost missed the murmured "Thanks" but she heard it.

Hospitals made her uncomfortable. They were cold and too clean, but worse they were filled with too many people who asked questions. Which was why the family rarely went unless necessary. This time it was necessary.

Billy had multiple fractured ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a serious concussion. No to mention numerous cuts and bruises. He was asleep at the moment, the hospital painkillers had knocked him out. Her mother and Neil where with the doctors telling them the story Neil had come up with.

Leaving her to sit by Billy's bed. Unable to sit still she went and filled a cup with ice and then started fixing the blankets on the hospital bed. Not that Billy would care.

As she leaned over she saw his eyes flutter open.

"Billy?" She breathed a sigh of relief as his gaze found hers. He went to speak but his mouth was too dry. "Here" she said as she placed an ice chip on his cracked lips.

He opened his mouth to let the chip slip in. He sucked slowly before swallowing the liquid. He tried to sit up, but couldn't. The pain and exhaustion too much.

Max instantly pressed the buzzer for the nurse. A few moments later an older, somewhat disapproving, woman came in.

"He's awake and wants to sit up" Max explained.

The woman went about checking his chart before walking over to the bed to help him sit up, making tsking sounds as she went.

When she had arranged Billy in a comfortable position she said "Your very lucky Mr Hargrove. It could have been a lot worse." shaking her head she tutted "Drinking and driving." Fluffing his pillow she added "Your poor parents. I don't know what I would do if my son acted so irresponsibly. Your father has been out of his head with worry." Billy avert his eyes and Max gritted her teeth.

"Thank you" Max said through a forced smile, and as soon as she left climbed up to sit on the edge of the hospital bed.

"Do you think you be well enough to come home soon?" Max hated to admit she felt safer when Billy was at home. He was a dick, like the majority of the time he was a complete asshole to her, but he looked out for her. Her mother, well, her mother didn't want to be alone again. Neil made sure they had food and a roof over their head and… well better the devil you know. He hadn't hurt her, yet, not when Billy made such an easier target but if Billy wasn't home she was scared his anger wouldn't wait. And Neil was angry. The need for the hospital had upset him. Max had called the ambulance, even though her mother begged her not too, when Billy had passed out.

"I'll be home tonight." He answered, his voice barely above a whisper, "The blood results will be back soon and if I stay they'll have questions" they both knew there was no alcohol in his system.

"What happened? Why was he so angry this time?" The question had been needling her all night. Neil had overheard her telling her mother that Billy had snuck out with his friend Justin and had stormed out. When he eventually returned he had been dragging Billy in by his collar, and he had been furious. Max had never seen him so mad. Billy regularly broke curfew, usually just earned him a backhand and lecture about respect, but this time Neil had been frothing at the mouth. He was screaming incomprensible vitriol about Billy being disgusting and sick. As soon as they were inside Neil began choking him and when passed out he repeatedly kicked Billy's prone body. Max had thought Neil was going to kill him.

"D-doesn't m-matter" he said, voice shaking.

"But--"

"Just drop it, Max!" he tried to yell but the stress on his damaged vocal cords caused his voice to crack at the end.

They sat in silence until their parents came to tell them they were leaving, all of them.

Max stomach twisted when their parents announced they were moving to Hawkins the next week. Billy refused to look at her.

#fanfic #stranger things #billy hargrove #max mayfield #siblings #tw: domestic violence #tw: child abuse

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atlasfollowed · 5 years

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hey here’s a semi-detailed, tldr’d list of all of my dumb self-indulgent verses... (sorry it’s long but read more’s fucking... break everything, i’m soRRY)

main/canon verses (which take place within vld’s canon, I never use these lol. ask if u wanna know abt stuff in more detail please don’t):

01. // PRE-KERBEROS ARC pre-series. garrison golden boy. thinks kids who steal his car are cool.

02. // GLADIATOR ARC pre-series, post-kerberos. beating aliens up for sport really sucks.

03. // BLACK PALADIN ARC takes place during seasons 1 & 2. he didn’t even get to take a nap first.

04. // ATLAS ARC takes place during seasons 7 & 8. it’s really weird hearing ancient robot voices in your head all the time.

05. // POST-SERIES ARC takes place post-season 8. except season 8 didn’t happen and voltron wasn’t stupid.

alternate verses (mostly miscellaneous):

01. // MODERN lives alone in his grandpa mathis’s old house. kinda sad bc that place is huge. it’s cool though bc he has lots of pets to keep him company. dating sucks. men suck. he’s so lonely. recovering alcoholic. he’d love his job if the guys over at NASA weren’t such massive dicks. they’re just jealous bc he’s smarter than them. eat shit NASA. he’ll have an identity crisis later and have a baby with some lady who’s like “ur gay, bye”. kid’s name is phoebe. she’s an angel. suddenly this has turned into a single dad au. oh well.

02. // COLLEGE he majors in astrophysics and astronautical engineering. super smart. probably your math tutor. alcoholic. captain of the soccer team. hates himself a lot more than he lets on. really sucks that his parents got killed back in middle school or else he’d probably be happy and well-adjusted. really shitty relationship with his twin brother. hard-worker but it doesn’t show because he waits until the last minute to do everything. has gone down on every guy on campus. help him.

03. // FANTASY V1. ROYALTY in which shiro is the young and inexperienced king of a small country by the name of leodoros. born into a bloodline of loyal servants to the crown, takashi has never known a lifestyle other than that of a knight and one of the few captains in the kingdom’s royal army. however, when the king of leodoros falls ill and passes away with no apparent heir to survive him at the tail-end of a violent war, shiro is reluctantly chosen to take his place as the kingdom’s patriarch. stuck in a loveless marriage. secretly kinda just wants to fake his death and run away with the man he was planning on getting hitched with ‘til that old fart had to go and kick the bucket.

04. // FANTASY V2. CURSED an ex-mercenary cursed to feed and thrive on suffering caused by his own hand. shiro hides away from the rest of humankind in the bowels of a dungeon where the worst he can do is rid the place of it’s seemingly never-ending supply of bloodthirsty demons and monsters.

05. // WEREWOLF spent most of his life stuck as part of an illegal, underground werewolf/dog fighting ring. ditched on the street once he lost his undefeated winning streak (and his arm). kind of an asshole now with lots of trust issues but I promise he’s not actually an asshole, he just acts like one.

06. // POST-APOCALYPSE guess who got bit by a fuckin zombie right off the bat and had to saw his own arm off to avoid going feral? how tf is he still alive. the apocalypse is a lot less fun when you’re tired and middle-aged and you only have one arm to fight shit with. the kind of guy to adopt all of those orphaned children running around and take rowdy teenagers under his wing. we’ll call this a the last of us verse too bc i couldn’t really decide what i wanted out of this tbh.

crossover verses (which take place within the lore/world of some other stuff I rlly enjoy):

01. // POKEMON so fascinated with history and mythology that he decided to leave home and travel the world. nerd. spends all of his money on books and sweets. loves his pokemon like they’re his own children. husband material but he’s not very good at the whole socializing thing. manages to fall in love with a hermit who is somehow a lot worse at the whole socializing thing than he is.

02. // DRAGALIA LOST V1. ADVENTURER shadow-attuned axe user. an ex-gladiator who escaped from the empire, but not without paying for it dearly. with a slight frown set almost permanently on his visage, ashy white hair, a missing arm, and more scars than you could count on both hands, he looks much more intimidating and scary than he really is. very soft and kind once you get to know him. seems to attract a lot of cats for no apparent reason.

03. // DRAGALIA LOST V2. DRAGON oh shit he’s a dragon this time. that’s it. imagine how sexy he’d be all dragon’d out. i’m gonna nut. i love big lizard shiro.

04. // DEMON SLAYER: KIMETSU NO YAIBA he’s member of the demon slaying corps. that’s all i’ve got right now. have a nice day. EDIT: I made a post.

05. // BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA i’ll do this one one day, but it exists. help me.

#this is mostly for me #but ig it's helpful for people stuck on mobile too so #maybe i've done smth useful for once sdfhfsdkgh.....#long post *#like. really long #sorry abt that #i wanna draw shiro's caracter ''piece'' for his dragalia verse #he'll be covered in cats #it'll be great #i really do swear a lot i am so sorry

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bearingwater · 5 years

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February Forecast for Aquarius

Happy birthday season, Aquarius! Your Water Bearer’s urn runneth over as the month begins. Not only is the Sun in your sign until February 18 but your “personal new year” arrives on February 4, when the Aquarius new moon kicks off a six-month cycle that’s all about YOU. Haven’t set any inspired 2019 resolutions yet? Pssshhhhhttt. The first full week of February cosmically aligns you with your personal passions and desires. When you craft your intentions from that headspace, you’ll be much more motivated to follow them.

As the zodiac’s rebel, you hate rules (at least, ones that other people invent). So why follow an outworn convention of January 1 as the arbitrary date for planning your entire year? You’re at most distracted during Capricorn season, when the Sun is in your foggy twelfth house. Here’s permission to wait until the annual Aquarius new moon, which will always fall at some point between January 21 and February 18. This year, February 4 is the true start of your calendar year!

Even better? The Aquarius new moon marks the Chinese Lunar New Year’s Eve, doubling your reasons to celebrate. On February 5, the official Year of the Earth Pig begins, a 12-month cycle that’s devoted to pleasure and play.

You won’t be sorry to see the Earth Dog depart, after a year of territory-guarding and hierarchy that are SO not aligned with your communal style. The “more the merrier” Pig is all about shared indulgences. In the sensual Earth element, celebrations could get downright hedonistic. But Earth energy is also grounding and sensible. This will be a work hard/play hard Chinese Year, when your flair for teamwork comes in really handy!

Those diplomatic skills are already in demand because from January 1 to February 14, excitable Mars is in Aries, activating your third house of communication and kindred spirits. Your message feeds are #lit with invitations and fast-paced conversations, and your social calendar is packed. Energizer Mars can tempt us to overdo it, however, so go easy on the multitasking and try not to overbook yourself. The third house rules local events, and your community could become a hub of action—and activism. Scout out ways you can make an impact practically in your own backyard.

Looking for a new neighborhood? Yearning to connect with a like-minded crew? Until March 6, your co-ruler, changemaker Uranus, is also in Aries. Explore and experiment! You might take a road trip to check out new possibilities or rent an Airbnb in a happening ‘hood to see if you would really enjoy living there. When Mars and Uranus make a rare conjunction (meetup) on February 13, you could suddenly pick up and move. This is also a powerful day for a no-holds-barred conversation or to pitch an innovative idea. A sibling, colleague or neighbor could be involved in events today. Perhaps one of them will become a key collaborator on an avant-garde idea. After March 6, Uranus will leave Aries and won’t return here again in this lifetime. You’ll never again experience a Mars-Uranus connection in your communication house. Speak now or forever hold your peace!

Love is in the air on Valentine’s Day since the moon will spend the holiday in Gemini and your passionate, playful fifth house. Set aside your cynicism and get decadent, whether you indulge with friends or a romantic plus-one. But watch your budget before you order wine flights to pair with every dish. A tricky T-square to Neptune in your money house and generous Jupiter in your friend zone could leave you with a sticker-shock-inducing tab. If you go out with a crew, agree ahead of time on a budget or how you’ll split the bill so you don’t end up paying for everyone’s drinks and oyster samplers. You could also be pulled between a date night and tempting plans with your squad. Can you squeeze in both without exhausting yourself or hurting anyone’s feelings? If yes, give it a try…but remember that you can’t please everyone, so prioritize to keep your FOMO in check.

Home becomes a hotspot from February 14 to March 31 as Mars moves into Taurus and your domesticity zone. You could ignite a cottage industry or see a rotating cast of characters under your roof. If you’ve been hankering to move or redecorate, the red planet will happily play realtor and interior designer with you. (Check out our new Feng Shui section for ideas!)

Things move quickly with Mars at the helm, and you’ll need to act fast. If you put your house on the market, you could have a stampede of showings, which could get intense. If you’re home-hunting, be prepared with your paperwork to beat the competition. Mars can add motivation and stress in equal measures. Try to step away from any family drama, especially with a child or female relative. Get out of the house at the first hint of cabin fever because tension can boil over while Mars is here. Ramping up self-care will help you manage mood swings, which can easily spike now.

On February 18, “wounded healer” Chiron will move into Aries, staying until April 2027. Chiron made a brief pit stop here from April to September 2018, then receded back into Pisces. While Chiron is in Aries, we’ll collectively mend old scars around visibility, self-esteem and identity. According to mythology, Chiron was a healer who couldn’t heal himself. Under his influence, we evolve by helping others overcome struggles that we’ve dealt with (and may still be muddling through). It’s the ultimate act of service, where the giver ends up receiving an unexpected karmic gift.

Chiron will exit your money and work house and enter your communications zone. From your neighborhood to your social scene to your friendships, Chiron will “act locally” and cause you to rethink the people and conversations you invest energy in. Finding your voice through writing, teaching and other outlets could become a new mission, and you might be inspired to help others do the same. Words have the power to heal or harm, and you’ll become acutely aware of the impact of your thoughts and dialogues. You may drift away from certain friendships that don’t affirm or uplift you.

These themes won’t be entirely new because radical Uranus has been in Aries since 2011, shaking up the status quo in this zone of your chart for years. On March 6, Uranus will permanently exit, passing the transformational baton to Chiron for the next nine years.

Practical matters prevail starting February 18, when the Sun moves into Pisces and your second house of work and money. Sweep up those birthday cake crumbs and get down to business. But don’t shut your emotions off just yet. On February 19, the Virgo full supermoon beams into your eighth house of sex, shared finances and merging. A sizzling soulmate attraction might consummate, and longtime couples might make things permanent (or, in some cases, part ways). A joint venture could become official, and you might close an important deal related to real estate or other investments. This spotlight on your long-term finances also gives an unflinching look at where you need to better manage your money.

Strong, unprocessed feelings can surge up at this full moon, especially ones you’ve been trying to hide. Floodgates: down! From jealousy to resentment to questions about trust, the intrigue ratchets up. In the light of this moon, you might issue a heartfelt confession only to feel excruciatingly exposed right after (a “vulnerability hangover,” as Brene Brown calls it). Anger might boil up from feeling so raw, so catch yourself before you’re tempted to lash out.

Aquarius is the sign of emotional detachment, and while you’ve got plenty of feelings, you don’t enjoy having them on public display. This full moon could upend your sense of control and composure. Try to embrace it instead of getting embarrassed. Your humanity is not only attractive; it’s the only way that other people can truly connect with you. Being perfect is overrated!

Love & Romance

With amorous Venus floating through Capricorn and your dreamy twelfth house from February 3 to March 1, your visions of romance may border on fantasy (sweet!) but they’ll also be tinged with delusion and confusion (oops!). Pinch yourself and try to keep it real, Water Bearer. There could be high stakes attached to something you’re considering, and you definitely want to be of “sound mind” when you make your decision. If you find yourself pining for a past love, conjure the most difficult and painful chapters as well as the happy times. It’ll be easy for you to see things through rose-colored lenses this month.

Meanwhile, the other love planet, fiery Mars, splits the month between two signs on Valentine’s Day. The first half of February, he’ll be revving his engines in Aries and your self-expressive sector, inspiring you to share your feelings or confess a secret desire.

On February 13, Mars makes a rare (once-every-other-year) conjunction with capricious Uranus in this communication center. Given Uranus’ allergy to commitment, you might be wildly attracted to someone one minute only to have the flame of desire go out the next. And on the other hand… Mars in this media-friendly zone could be making online dating extra-hot, especially when he unites with tech-savvy Uranus.

Then, on February 14, the red planet downshifts into steadier Taurus and your domestic quarters until March 31, which could keep you planted at Chateau Aquarius for a big chunk of the next six weeks. This can turn up the dial on your already tender emotions—especially with Venus in your imagination zone. You might also be inspired to be more upfront about your feelings. Mars can quicken the pace of plans to move in together, babymaking or meeting each other’s families. For longtime couples, it’s a time to talk about a real estate investment, family plans or to entertain together at home. Stressful Mars can turn up the tension at home, so if you find yourself fighting and bickering more than usual, call a wingwoman and get out of the house!

Key Dates

February 2: Venus-Uranus Trine An attraction could heat up fast and unexpectedly—and the most surprising part is who with. Suspend your judgment, Aquarius: If your heart is saying yes and your head isn’t disagreeing, there’s no reason not to give it a go. Attached? Be sure to put “spicy pillow talk” on tonight’s romantic menu.

Money & Career

It’s your time to shine, Aquarius! The Sun is in your sign until February 18, and your birthday brings the motivation to make a fresh start. What new experiences do you want to build into your next year of life—and what habits, obligations and dynamics do you want to leave behind? The February 4 Aquarius new moon is YOUR personal new year (you get one new moon in your sign each year), so use it or lose it. Set intentions and make sure they come from what you want to do, rather than what you think you “should” do.

That doesn’t mean you can’t run ideas past your tribe, especially while energizer Mars is in Aries and your third house of communication until February 14. But you’re likely to get a different opinion from everyone you ask, so go easy on the crowdsourcing or you’ll end up even more confused. Give yourself a chance to play with different options. A life-changing conversation or aha moment could arrive at the February 13 conjunction between Mars and your co-ruler, innovative Uranus. Think (and act) outside the box!

On February 14, Mars enters Taurus and your fourth house of home until March 31. You’ll feel a renewed ambition to set up a solid, supportive foundation at Chateau Aquarius. Make sure you have a space to dream, plan and get creative. Working from home could be surprisingly fruitful if you can swing a remote gig, but letting the work/life balance blur will only heap on added stress.

When the Sun enters Pisces on February 18 for a month, it illuminates your second house, helping you solidify a plan to turn birthday wishes into concrete actions. Use the Virgo full supermoon on February 19 in your eighth house of resources to look at long-term financial plans. Talk to an adviser: How can your money work harder for you? An investment, possibly related to real estate, could pay off. Get a jump-start on your taxes and research which debt repayment strategy will help you reach financial freedom this year.

Key Dates

February 1: Mars-Pluto Square Negotiations might come to a screeching halt under this passive-aggressive face-off between these power-thirsty planets. Worse: Someone may not be telling the whole story. Stand your ground, but if you can’t come to a reasonable consensus, table it for another, more agreeable day.

Love Days: 15, 19 Money Days: 25, 7 Luck Days: 23, 5 Off Days: 17, 21, 2

#aquarius #monthly horoscope #horoscope #horoscopes #astrology #aquarius monthly

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energonalucard · 5 years

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A FEM Team of my Own Design (RED Edition)

Usually, I don't like doing this kinda stuff. One: I don't usually share my ideas and I am very nervous. Second: FEM characters are one thing, BUT A WHOLE (TWO) TEAM makes me sweat. The good sweat, but also a nervous sweat. Because I am now sharing a personal part of my brain and my love for woman. Beautiful. Lovely. Yes.

@medics-secret-shipfic-folder, this is one half of those FEM's I talked about!

Is this more OC team's then canon gender swap? Yeah, and that's because I don't think that's my endgame here, I didn't make these for a gender bend AU, I made them out of love and from a community of great idea makers. I'd rather make OC's then be another generic half-hearted bending AU maker. <3 <3

Also, this really is just a dumb fact thing as I don't want to give away plot stuff. Fun facts and getting to know them a bit.

(Yes, I said PLOT)

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-- RED Team:

𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘂𝘁: The default FEM Scout you see around. Pony-tail, blonde like normal Scout, Bostonian. Has a bit of dimples but I swear, she'll punch you if you call her cute.

She/Her. Straight, but an Ally. Or so she says. Nobody believes her.

But something you won't know is how many sisters she has! The answer is four. Four sisters and a single dad back in Boston. While lower on the sibling count then most Scout's she is far more likely to NOT talk your ear off in a large group... but will corner you and chat you a blue streak if your like Sniper or Spy and seclude yourself. Since she has less family to push her to run, she's a slower Scout but she can run ALL day pal. Even Medic needs a break but she keeps going, going, going...

Will beat you with heels/pumps (Spy will have loaned them) if you even offer the idea of her wearing them. Sneakers, pal, are Gods gift to feet.

Right handed, and uses left only to throw a ball or clever. Only. ONLY.

Once drank Mad Milk. No one saw them for three days. Medic had her strapped to a table. She apparently was found in town on a rooftop at 6 AM after vomiting loud enough for neighbors to notice. She got better, but has amnesia from the incident.

Favorite weapon of all time is the Holy Mackerel, because its freaking hilarious and Spy's are disgusted by it. Also reminds her of her dad only being able to cook fish and roast back home in Boston.

𝗦𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗿: Looks like the canonical Soldier, but her hair is similar to the Battle Bob (https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Battle_Bob) but with no bangs and it barely peaking from her helmet. Blonde, American, and named John Doe respectively.

She/Her. Bi(romantic/sexual).

Has a thing for tank tops and will wear them around base when not on duty, because she's a very sweaty person and her clothes suffer (and who ever does laundry as well). This was a compromise. Trust the RED Team on that one (Medic approved).

Helmet 100% of the time though.

Bra comes off = be ready for a fight maggot.

Has more lower body strength, absolutely loves the Manntreads. But don't underestimate her running Original. See her on Battalion? She most likely has Rage ready when she pops out of nowhere.

Has no idea why people tell her walking around naked is weird/distracting/rude or whatnot. She's covered up! In jam (Pyro mourns their jam and preservatives cupboard)!

𝗣𝘆𝗿𝗼: Looks... exactly how a Pyro should. Like a balloon bodied Pyro. Yeah, nothing strange here other then their SASS. Dear heavens.

They/Them. Non-binary.

You've only seen these Pyro's around three or four bases in your entire LIFETIME. This walking bag of fire does not have time for ANY bullshit. Loves doing the windup middle finger when someone does something stupid/rude. Isn't really all that serious as they are made out to be but you get it.

Still loves Balloonicorn and cooking even though they act like any other merc. Has a tea set with crudely melted crayons on its outside.

Wanna get BACK here? BACK into THEIR base? Turn around and head BACK son. Backburner and Thruster Pack predator, all day unless the team suffers.

Covers up Soldier in a towel if she's naked. Sows up Demo's pants if she splits them. Engie loves them when they swing by with anything cinnamon realated. Second most likely to do everyone's laundry.

Arsonist Guardian of the Year Award.

𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿: Just like Scout, the typical Femgineer model but this time, she's more chubby then her skinny model on Gamebanana. Her overalls like default Engineer helps her self esteem though. Brunette, Texan, and still a shortie.

She/Her. Bi(romantic/sexual), but leans more towards men.

Ever seen a small volcano of 5'4'' and puffy red cheecks? You've met it, you've angered it. But you ain't staying conscious for long. Not with her weilding a Southern Hospitality just for this occasion.

Has made many comments about making traps and watching unfortunate folk "disappear" from her daddy's old farm. Nobody questions why the cameras in the building have tiny barrels attached to them and a laser sight.

Has mentioned a husband or at least a male partner once to Sniper. Never elaborated. Never showed a ring or even a smile when talking about him.

Cinnamon and jam enthusiast along with Pyro, and the most flustered when Soldier is covered in it.

Hair bun is a must unless she ties it flat with pins. Short hair because she don't wanna catch fire. Smells like burnt metal and a dulled oil smell nobody can rinse out of her clothes. Her hardhat is permanently on her head, googles are a go too. Welding smock and overalls in and out of battle.

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝘃𝘆: Like before, like Gamebanana FEM Heavy. Brunette (like two of her sisters), Russian, and actually has scars all across her chest if you can see her shirt peak off-hours.

She/Her. Lesbian (romantically involved with RED Medic).

You probably think Medic is the one most likely to do laundry since I said Pyro was second right? (I'm not that predictable ;>) Nope, its Heavy. Heavy doesn't like machine washers unless she has to deal with jeans or other thicker fabrics she knows won't dry in under 12 hours correctly (because they fight EVERY day). She washed unmentionables too, and does not make it weird. Until Sniper literally has to answer about why all her underwear is stained yellow, Sniper she just wants you to have nice clean clothes--

You ask Pyro for dinner if you miss a meal or have a diet going on. If Heavy catches anyone not eating, they eat double. Diets? Heavy always grew up with the mentality you ate what you could get, but Heavy is not heartless. Since food types are abundant, she is careful about diets. But she'll still make you eat it double.

Her girlfriend doesn't eat pork products, so she understands. (Slightly)

Natasha may be her right hand gun but her doctor will always have her heart and soul. Still bought a better bed for Natasha though, but don't tell doctor.

Once beat a male Scout cause he called her ally Engineer a fatty. Has had to fend off two Scout's from her team's Spy ("Heavy, they had information I needed." / "Intelligence? Bah."). Actually stepped on a drunk Demo's crotch on accident, but did apologise.

Loves her girlfriends muscles way more then her curves, she has no idea why. But she can appreciation a nice bottom when she sees it.

Two little sisters, an older brother who's tettering around step-brother, and a mother who's nearly paralyzed from the waist down. But that woman was her light, she did things not many woman do anymore and for that wisdom and learning, Heavy is grateful. Mother also instilled a fear of swatters with a shoe tied to it. Creative, but scary.

𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻: Actually looks like The Demowoman made based on Drew Wolf's own design, but I think a bit more fuller in the cheeks and chin (more square). Scottish, eyes sharp as a sass lass, and a thick as hell skull.

She/Her. Pan(romantic/sexual).

Once cried in a pile of bras while drunk. Not her own. That's how everyone learned about Spy being... more on that later.

Has a father and mother, but both are leaning so far towards insanity she gave up listening a long time ago. Still doesn't back talk them though, she just pacifies them by dividing her money and saying she has many jobs.

Gains weight like crazy, and its not all the alcohols fault. Food is just very heavy in America and since the team is 1/3 American she feels enlarged everytime a meal based around or for the Americans is brought out. And dear god Heavy, bear goes straight to her muffin top. Spy notices her uncomfortable nature when eating and generally tries to swap out their plates (Spy fussing at the chief before dinner saying she needs X on her plate and not Y, just so Demo can keep her ideal self). (Don't tell Demo, she's too drunk to notice it)

Actually will hug Soldier when naked and be like, "Nothing weird about it". Has actually kissed Spy's hand like you'd do royalty as a joke. Has actually spun Medic around in a circle in a bear hug before.

She's all for makeup, but really, all she can manage normally and steadily is lipstick. At least she can wipe it away if she wants (can't wipe away the pain of stabbing your only good eye with a mascara brush).

Nobody touches her hair, never. But she likes doing other's hair. She isn't all that good with cutting or styling or maintaining hair, but playing with hair or just running her hands through it is amazing. The body hair on her legs is shaven and so are her underarms, but her arms and "moustache" that Scout notices are well grown out.

Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Laun--

Hair always under a beany, nobody sees her hair until much later. She had it all in one wide french braid. Wait, doesn't she normally fail at braids? How did she get that?

𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰: (Okay, this is where similarities in the FEM models stops. To me, I don't really like the FEM Medic model as much as I should for OC's so I'll explain Medic as best I can.) Just like any male Medic counterpart and she has a square-ish chin, with curves almost as boxy as some of her cosmetics. But its a good boxy, she's wide with muscle and shoulders to carry injured teammates. Black hair, German, and the creepiest white teeth you've ever seen.

She/Her. Lesbian (romantically involve with the Heavy). Gay Energy™.

Thicc thighs saves lives. Like, no joke. She is mostly muscles in her legs and torso so everyone assumed she was good at running. Even Scout. Once lifted Demo with ease in her arms and gave Pyro a piggyback ride all at once. It did strain her back and she was slower, but she was fine after dropping Demo in a safer spot to sleep.

Her posture is shit, but she does form corrections regularly, and uses a pillow to cheat the system if she's grumpy enough.

Her teeth. God, her teeth anywhere in blue lighting make weaker mercs a bit dizzy. You've never seen teeth have a blue-green tint like hers, it feels like watching a horror movie permanently set in a blue shaded tint.

Does not eat pork products, and won't elaborate. Will eat beef, but not pork. Maybe she just hates it? Maybe. A diet? Even Heavy shrugs it off now when it happens.

Medic gives the thumbs up for Soldier walking around in tanktops. Naked Soldier is also a thumbs up. All those bras Demo collected once had Medic sorting through them happily. Actually figured out Spy's real cup size.

Medic has banned Sniper's ace bandage bras. Not in this house, not under her roof. She fits Sniper for personally made bras, Spy bought and tailored.

Loyal girlfriend. But gayer. Heavy is fine with it, and actually partakes in showing everyone love sometimes too. Since Demo is also affectionate, it can't be too bad.

Push-up queen, but will drop in the dirt in exhaustion afterwards. She only beats Soldier by a few points and mostly runs on spite.

Has actually stollen all her team's uterus'. What?! She gave them all back later! Just... someone else needed them first. And in a Female vs Female war zone her teammates weren't planning on using them. But they are back now! Well... not all.

Has actually tried to make a Spyper out of an old male Spy and Sniper she used to fight. Both just despawned and targeted her the next day. Sadly.

BLU Demo's line about shagging Medic's husband always makes her go into a laughing fit.

Has a ring ready for Heavy, because Heavy is best wife material and loves her dearly.

𝗦𝗻𝗶𝗽𝗲𝗿: (Changed a bit too.) Taller then her Gamebanana model, and god is her face longer and more like regular Sniper. You've heard of laugh lines but the Sniper has frown lines, and the dip in her cheeks has wrinkles from the sun. She has a unibrow growing almost as fast as you can wax it, she leaves it be. So much arm hair. Brunette, Australian (New Zealand), and her hands are big for her size.

She/Her. Bi(romantic), Asexual.

Never shaves. Never.

She has a mom, a dad, and a big brother. Her brother snipe's as well for RED Team and they have secret mail chains going between them (not so secret, Administrator knows). Her parents don't know she's Bi and after what they said to her brother about him being Trans, she never wanted to figure out.

Her brother is actually fully transitioned with the help of a Medic who seemed pro-Trans. Of course the doctor waved that off but he had been careful about the procedure enough that they could tell he was a good doctor about all this.

Her brother is the reason she wears ace bandages for bras. So he wouldn't feel bad. She just never STOPPED wearing them after that, and she always reasoned it was because of her broken family and wanting to hold on a little longer. A "little longer" was nearly nineteen years of wearing it to help her brother mentally. Until Medic banned it. Then, she had tailored bras that were strapless but wouldn't fall down. Sometimes goes without the bra onto the battlefield and will tie her shirt off as a makeshift support. She doesn't feel she betrayed him, just... cloth is real itchy sometimes.

Jarate. Isn't... entirely enthusiastic about hygiene outside of basic shower stuff, brushing her teeth, and trimming her nails. Her underwear is clean but since jarate is... yeah, it stains her clothes. Jarate is a lot harder for females to make with how pants work.

Yes, has mooned the enemy Spy before. Not on purpose. Many times. Yes, her pride is shattered every time it happens.

Had long hair upon arrival to this war. She refused to cut it even as her team warned her about what long hair can cause. She changed her mind after the male enemy Spy yanked her around by it and smashed her head in a windowsill. She had her ally Spy cut it after she could stomach letting it be tugged, even for a cut. Spy was gentle, and asked her questions on what she prefers: suits or dresses.

Suits mate.

(And that BLU Spy was never seen again on the battlefield after a week.)

𝗦𝗽𝘆: (Different from the model ENTIRELY, I really do not like the Spy FEM model at all. But I have grown more warm towards it lately, probably from my BLU team ideas *wink* *wink*) Wears a suit like all other Spy's, and a balaclava as well. Her shoes are as Italian as they come and could take out a man's eye they are so sharp. Blue eyes, sharp chin and nose, and she is NOT a mother.

She/Her. Pan(romantic/sexual)/Polygamous.

Is not the mother to any children at all. She does not need nor want any. Still gets all the men thought. And ladies.

She actually does not have a uterus at all, she caught wind the doctor had taken something out of her (what Medic doesn't) and didn't want it back. Turns out, she really does not care for the missing body part. Oh well, a Spy's lose is a Medic's fortune.

Has her breasts restricted a bit by a special SpyTech bra that distributes muscle instead of pressing it all against her lungs. She looks like a D cup for her bust size. Is a E cup naturally. Medic drools when she sees the tag on the bra for the first time. Sometimes wears buisness casual around base, without her SpyTech bra and using a normal one for comfort. Attracts Demo and Soldier like flies when she does.

Cuts and manages everyone's hair. Sniper was her first job, and that was easy. Next was Medic coming in it get a half fade. Next was Soldier to keep her hair barely peaking from the helmet. Demoman was the hardest to convince and she can only touch her hair if she "uses those leather fancy gloves" she always wears at all times while braiding Demo's hair.

That BLU Spy from before? Gutted multiple times over the course of games throughout a week. His score suffered and he was moved to a team of lesser skill. A temporary "fix" to the problem. She still wants to gut him but can't do it outside of work hours as he's employeed to BLU (costing her a contract). But did find him in a seedy city with the mother of his child, and casually reminded him of his deeds out of spite while in disguise. He apologized, but she refused to take it. She wasn't the victim. They parted ways after that and promised to never see each other again.

Will actually hit Scout on the head. Hand open, palm ready. Right in the back of her head. Stupid American loudmouth...

Likes the Dead Ringer with the stock revolver a lot, and likes being active. Really good at acting like Pyro, its kinda scary. It's probably the sassy movements they mastered.

Third least shameful having no top on. Proven.

Has secret meetings with BLU Spy outside both base ranges. For some reason, even though the ritual of enemy teams Spy's meeting and exchanging whatever they have for whatever they need is long over they both still come out here. Probably to get away from the base and at least smoke in peace, or at least she hopes so.

-- BLU Team... (soon)

#Team Fortress 2 #TF2 #TF2 AU #TF2: Stay The Same #FEM Classes #Scout #Soldier #Pyro #Engineer #Heavy #Demoman #Medic #Sniper #Spy

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