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thatfandomslut · 4 months

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Regina George's Sister

Cady Heron x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Trigger Warnings: protective relationship, secret relationship

Request:

mayhaps a cady heron x reader where reader is regina’s sister and cady and reader have been secretly dating for months because neither of them want regina to find out but then regina ends up catching them kissing or something idk im bad at requests feel free to go nuts😭😭

Mean Girls requests are open.

A/N: I could not figure out how to end this, so please forgive me.

If there was one thing anyone needed to know about Regina post-Spring Fling, it was that she didn't change much. She was just kinder to Gretchen and Karen, who still loyally followed Regina along. She still instilled fear in those around her, even if she was much nicer than she had been. Once a Queen Bee regains her crown, it's hard to repossess it. This was the prime reason Cady and (Y/n) decided to keep their relationship a secret from the blonde due to how protective she was over her younger sister. The problem was, despite being together for the past three months, they were very bad at keeping their relationship a secret.

It was Janis and Damian who were the ones to usually catch them making out under the stairwell. Which is where they found Cady and (Y/n) today, too. The two were on their way to French class, and they typically met Cady there. Which is why they weren't surprised to see them locking lips, despite their usual desire to hide from Regina. It occurred to Janis and Damian that the two were starting to get comfortable with not getting caught, so they were becoming more careless.

"You know," Janis's words startled the two of them as they jumped apart from each other. The action caused Janis to smirk as Damian snickered at the two. "If you two continue to make out one of the biggest make-out corners, Regina is definitely going to find you two. Eventually, you're not going to get saved by Damian and me. So, stop being stupid, and find a less obvious make-out spot. Come on, Cady, we're going to be late."

Damian quirked his brow nosily at the two as he looked over (Y/n) before following Janis to their class. "She's kind of right," Cady said, her cheeks a bright shade of red having been caught for the fourth time by Janis and Damian that week. "We're getting careless, and if we don't want Regina to find out, we need to start doing better." She spoke with a type of seriousness in her voice that caused (Y/n) to smile. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Cady questioned, though due to the look (Y/n) gave, she had a hint as to what (Y/n) had running through her mind.

"Oh, nothing," (Y/n) teased before placing a gentle kiss on Cady's lips. Cady reciprocated easily, almost forgetting about just getting caught, and the fact that Janis and Damian were most likely waiting on the top of the stairs for her. "I just think you're cute when you're serious about things. You puff your cheeks out and narrow your eyes slightly, and you just look so determined. Anyways, see you after class, Brainiac. I love you."

(Y/n) kissed Cady's cheek as she exited the stairwell, leaving behind a very smiley Cady to join her very annoyed best friends. "I'm sick of these shenanigans, Cady. When are you just going to tell Regina to truth? She's gotten much nicer since you overthrew her at the Spring Fling. Well, I guess, we all overthrew her." Damian pondered on this, walking into the classroom and sitting in his usual seat beside Janis. Cady had turned her seat towards her friends, who were expecting an answer from her.

"She retook the crown, remember? She has too much pride to really learn a lesson. And, even if she is nicer, you both know how she is when it comes to (Y/n)." Cady reminded the group with a raised brow. She didn't necessarily want to talk about this. Every time they got into it, it was them trying to convince Cady to come clean, but that wasn't something (Y/n) wanted. "Besides, right now, (Y/n) also doesn't want to tell Regina, and I think it's important to make sure I don't just ignore her wants. I feel the same as her, too. I'm not ready for Regina to know."

Janis rolled her eyes as the teacher entered, disrupting their conversation. It was getting harder for her and Damian to divert the Plastics away from their usual make-out spots and to make up excuses. Janis and Damian were incredibly loyal, so they weren't just going to stop helping them, but at this point, the two of them needed to buck up and just talk to Regina.

After class, Cady met with (Y/n) for their shared free period, where they went to one of their usual spots. Janis knew where they were, and that's why she almost gave herself whiplash when she saw Regina headed in that direction. "Regina, you can't go that way. I think they're going construction or something." Janis blurted, knowing her excuse was horrible, but it was the only thing to come to mind at the time. And it was obvious that Regina didn't buy it.

"Oh, sure, Janis, they're doing construction on the hallway." Regina narrowed her eyes, wondering just how stupid Janis thought she was. She couldn't help but also feel annoyed at Janis's presence since she was trying to keep her from something. "I need something from my locker."

As Regina turned the corner, her eyes widened at Cady and (Y/n) tucked in a doorway, hidden from the view of most people. It wouldn't phase her if they weren't kissing each other to the point where both she and Janis were wondering if they could breathe. "What the fuck is going on here?" Regina crossed her arms. She hated when people didn't keep her in the loop almost as much as she hated seeing her younger sister kissing one of her friends. She felt slightly betrayed by both but was willing to hear out an explanation if it was good enough.

(Y/n) pulled away from Cady in shock before looking over to the strawberry blonde. "Regina, I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you like this…" She whispered out, looking at her shoes and rubbing her arm in disappointment. She never did well with hiding things from her sister. Cady noticed this as she placed a comforting hand on her arm. "Cady and I have been dating since the Spring Fling, we just didn't know how to tell you. Don't be mad at her, it was my decision to keep it a secret." (Y/n) explained, though the decision was mutual. She just didn't want Regina to be even more upset with Cady than she might be.

"I'm more upset that you two kept it a secret." Regina examined her sister. She always had a soft spot for (Y/n), and seeing her sister feel ashamed of herself made her feel a little bad. "I can forgive that you two kept it a secret as long as you two agree to not make out in spaces I might be in."

This was the closest to an approval that (Y/n) was going to get. Looking up with a smile, she hugged Regina happily. "Okay, deal," she said as her sister patted her back gently, narrowing her eyes at Cady briefly. The strawberry blonde looked sheepish before glancing away to avoid eye contact. Regina nodded at the fear she still instilled before releasing her sister. It was a bit weird to see them together, but it was nothing she couldn't get used to as she walked off to her locker.

"I told you two that you were going to get caught." Janis had her arms crossed with a small smirk. Saluting them gently, she turned back to return to the art studio that she was spending too much time away from.

#cady heron x reader #cady heron #mean girls x reader #mean girls

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sanguineterrain · 8 months

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about first place | eddie munson

hey guys remember when i wrote for stranger things? lol.

so this is another installment of my about a boy series. you don't have to read them to understand this fic, but idk, you might like those too! check them out if you feel like :)

Summary: Eddie asks you to change plans. You spiral.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x gn!reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings/tags: intrusive (violent and one self-harm) thoughts, self deprecating thoughts, reader spirals, eddie is hurtful (by accident) to the reader, but they communicate and it's resolved. reader feels like they are cast aside and there is trauma behind that feeling. reader is sensitive to rejection and has trouble communicating.

my fics aren't intended to be used as models for perfect communication or anything like that HOWEVER this fic is intended to be a story about communication and building trust and navigating a partner's trauma. if these topics are triggering to you, DO NOT READ.

if you enjoy this, please let me know through reblogs (and a comment, if you feel like!)

divider by firefly-graphics | i reblog all fics to @sanguinelibrary

Fridays are dinner nights with Eddie. Sometimes you do them on Saturday, but usually, every week, you two have dinner. It hasn’t gone on for very long; you’ve only just begun to feel comfortable eating in front of Eddie. But you like it. Sometimes Wayne joins you two. It feels like you have a home.

And after every dinner, you confirm with Eddie that he'll come over next week too. People like when you confirm plans in advance. You like when people confirm plans and keep their commitments.

You like that Eddie comes over. You like that he wants to come over.

The phone rings. You put down the wooden spoon and answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sweet thing!" Eddie says. "Hey, so, I'm at Gareth's place right now, and our campaign is running long. It's so good, babe, I just created this new storyline and everybody loves it! Wheeler even said she might join next week. Am I a genius or what?"

You smile. "You're a genius, Eds. Nancy appreciates a good story; I’m not surprised you wowed her.”

"Aw, you flatter me, sweet thing. So, uh, I know I'm supposed to come over for dinner, but would it be okay if I took a rain check? Only because…"

You don't hear the rest of the sentence. The only thing that rings in your ears is rain check. Eddie's canceling. Eddie's sick of you.

"...Is that alright?" he finally asks. "I'll take you out to dinner tomorrow."

Your chest constricts. Eddie's expecting agreeability. He's expecting your acquiescence to the fact that he's sick of you.

"Sure," you say tightly.

There's a pause. Then, "So, I’ll swing by tomorrow?"

"No." You haven't prepared to interact with people tomorrow, you prepared for today. And tonight was planned a week in advance, but Eddie wants to change plans. Eddie cares more about Hellfire than spending time with you.

Eddie is just like the rest of them.

"How ‘bout Monday? Or later next week? I wanna spend time with you, sweet thing."

Your throat feels tight. You need to end the conversation now or your guts will unspool all over the floor and Eddie will hear you try to stuff them back into your stomach.

"It's fine. We don't need to reschedule. Bye."

You hang up. Immediately, your stomach hurts. Why should you feel guilty? Eddie abandoned plans that you made a week ago for his other friends. Eddie doesn't care about you. That's always how it goes. People hurt you and they don't care, and then you're the one who feels guilty for hanging up on them.

Thoughts of Eddie crashing his van or Eddie getting struck by lightning flash unbidden into your mind and your stomach ache gets worse. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you think those things? You don't want that to happen to Eddie. You love Eddie, even though you were bound to eat too much love and get a stomach ache.

You feel like doing something that would make your mother mad at you. You feel like digging your nails into the bathroom tile grout and scraping until you see the sun. You feel like carving scars into the kitchen table.

Goddammit, you need to stop the bad thoughts. Think good thoughts. Think thoughts normal people have. Pretend you're normal. Pretend you're loved.

You look at the pot of boiling water. Would Eddie come over if you stuck your hand in?

No, God, what's wrong with you? You fucking psycho. This is why no one keeps their plans with you! Eddie's job isn't to take care of you, to hold your hand and pet your hair and tell you he's happy to be here with you.

You're wrong, you were born wrong, and that's your problem, not his. That's why he's gone. That's why everybody leaves.

Knock knock.

You look at the door, spooked. Did someone hear your thoughts? Are they finally here to take you away?

"Sweet thing, you there? Can I please come in?"

If you let Eddie in, you'll have to tell him it's okay, and your guts will be there for him to see because you haven't cleaned them up yet, and he'll know you've been crying over him even though he called first which is more than you've ever been given before, and your stomach ache will triple and and and—

"It's open," you say.

Eddie comes in. Your face is impenetrable. Stone. No, concrete. No, obsidian. Your face is obsidian, and Eddie's got a plastic hammer. You'll win and you can scoop up your guts later.

"Hey," Eddie says softly. "Hey, sweetheart."

You take a step back. This is a trick.

"Why aren't you with your friends?" you ask, crossing your arms.

Eddie winces. "I’m sorry, baby. That was a mistake. I realized that after we hung up. I shouldn't have tried to reschedule. You and I made plans, and they're important to me. I ended the game—we're gonna meet next week."

"You can go. I don't care."

Eddie's mouth flattens. You've hurt his feelings, but he hurt yours first, but you don't want to hurt his at all, but but but—

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Eddie says. "I don't want to reschedule or ditch our plans. I wanna spend time with you, I do."

"I don't want you here," you say. "I want you to leave, Eddie. I don't forgive you."

Eddie's face crumples. But he nods. "Okay, baby. I-I'll leave if you want me to go. I respect your space. You don't have to forgive me right now."

Oh no. Eddie came prepared. Eddie has a diamond-tipped drill.

"I'm never first," you blurt.

Eddie tilts his head. "What do you mean?"

He's still gentle. He's still here. Even though you didn't forgive him. Even though you're mad at him. Even though you'll never be normal. He's listening anyway.

"No one puts me first. You did, but then you didn't tonight, even though I made plans enough time in advance. A week is enough time. People are supposed to stick to plans when you ask them a week ahead. It's my fault when I don't give them enough time, and it makes sense when they don't want to spend time with me then, but this time it wasn't my fault. You're supposed to decide you don't like me before this point. It hurts less when you decide earlier."

Your chest heaves. Eddie's stepping all over your guts. He tracks them across the carpet as he gets closer. You watch the bloody intestine footprints slop behind him.

"But you said yes. But then you wanted out. I'm never—I'm never first."

Eddie's face splinters further. "Oh, sweetheart—"

You wipe your eyes, pulling the skin hard.

"I do like you," he says, and your sob breaks. "I do. Nothing'll make me stop liking you. And I love you still. I didn't ask that because I don't like you. It-it doesn't matter why I asked, but avoiding you wasn't the reason. It was a thoughtless thing I did. I thought you wouldn't mind, but you do, and that's okay. That's valid. I want you to tell me that. I want you to say, "Eddie, you dummy, I love ya, but let's keep our plans," and I'll come home."

"You didn't want to," you say, and cry harder.

"No, baby, it's not like that at all. I wanted to do both, I like the idea of both. I always enjoy spending time with you. I thought maybe since we do this regularly, you wouldn't mind something different too."

You're overreacting. You're scary. This is wrong. This isn't how norm—fucking fuck that word!

"I'm sorry," you blubber, quivering in place.

Your legs feel weak. You lean against the counter for support.

Eddie shakes his head. He's a foot away.

"What're you apologizing for, baby? You don't have to apologize. I hurt you, not the other way around."

"I'm guilty," you say, crying into your hands. "I'm guilty too. I thought bad thoughts. I didn't mean to, but I did, and now you're here, but I want you to be here because you want to be, not because I… I…"

"Is it okay if I touch you?"

You nod, and Eddie's arms slide around you. Every time he hugs you, you're certain you won't fit together. But you always do.

"It's okay if you thought bad thoughts," Eddie says into your ear. You feel his voice vibrate through your chest. "You're not your thoughts. And it's okay if some of those thoughts were because you were hurting from what I said. I’m really sorry, sweet thing. I have angry thoughts too, sometimes. But that's all they are. Just thoughts. Just noise. They don't make you bad. You're good. So, so good."

You wrap your arms around Eddie's neck and hug hard. He squeezes you back just as tightly. The pressure feels good.

"I w-want you to hang out with friends, but I want you to k-keep our plans first," you say, and then brace yourself. You take great, big, shuddering breaths.

"That is a very reasonable ask, my love. I’ll do that from now on. And how 'bout if we want to change plans, we'll ask at least three days in advance? Is that fair?”

You nod against his shoulder. You stay like that, Eddie rubbing circles on your back. His curls tickle your wet cheek.

"Sorry I ruined it," you say.

"No, no, you didn't ruin anything. I made a mistake and we're learning how to communicate better. We’re learning.”

"I was scary."

"I don't think so, baby."

You're quiet for a moment. "I want you to stay and eat with me."

He squeezes your arm. "I would love nothing more, sweet thing."

You take the colander out of the cabinet. Eddie pushes your guts back into your stomach. No one's ever done that for you.

Perhaps you are loved. No pretending necessary.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x gn reader #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things x you #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #eddie munson angst #about a boy

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shifterbee · 4 months

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WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD

My Relationship With Reality Shifting

What I'm going to be talking about:

How I found out about shifting

My initial thoughts/ feelings about shifting

What led me to believe in shifting

Why I don't doubt that shifting is real

What doubts I do have (let's be honest, not everyone can be completely free of doubts)

My approach to shifting when I first started

My current approach to shifting

I didn't want this post to be too long so if you want/need me to explain anything further then let me know <3

Any trigger warnings will be in place wherever may be necessary <3

How it all started:

Like many people in this community, I first found out about shifting through TikTok in 2020. In my case, it was around mid-September when I was scrolling through my FYP and saw the video that changed my life forever.

OK, that was a bit dramatic, but you get the point. The video that I saw was this girl acting out something that she claimed happened in her DR. The scene went something like this (my memory is really blurry, so bear with me):

She had just shifted back to her DR, and It was during the battle at Hogwarts. there were a bunch of people coming up to her saying things like "Where did you go?" and "We missed you so much"(your typical 2020 misinformation). the battle was starting, and she looked at everyone and said, "I know what will help us. everyone close your eyes, trust me." IDK, I think she was trying to group shift everyone out of her DR???? either way it didn't work but when they opened their eyes the portals from Avengers Endgame(I think) started opening up and the Avengers stepped out of them. Her reaction to that was like "Well I guess that also works".

There might have been more to it, but that's all I can remember right now. Also PLEASE tell me if you also saw that video and/or remember who posted it. I wonder what they're doing now.

At first, I was a little confused, but then I looked at the tags and saw one that said: "reality shifting." at this time, my FYP was filled with a bunch of fanfic-related stuff, So I guess because of that, I just assumed that reality shifting was just a weird fanfic tope used in crossover fics. I was also sort of on DracoTok, so I wasn't really confused about why I would be seeing Harry Potter fanfic on my FYP.

I scrolled away from the video and didn't think much of it until a few days later when I looked up the tag and saw a bunch of videos with advice and methods on how to shift. at this point I was very confused and I was just thinking "Wait, are these people being fr". After scrolling through the tag for a bit I found a video explaining what it was.

I don't know who made that video. But one thing I do know is that I have never doubted the existence of shifting since.

Why I started believing:

I'm just going to use bullet points for this section. but if you want me to go into more detail about anything, let me know.

my prior knowledge/belief of out-of-body experiences (i.e. astral projection)

my belief that humans are always more powerful than what we usually think/believe.

Also, potential TW: brief mention of drugs

probably the biggest reason was a story I heard from a YouTuber about one of his friends who, after taking DMT, claimed to have lived in a forest with elves for 3 years and was able to give a detailed description of what happened in those 3 years. The story I'm talking about is about 10 minutes into this video I immediately thought of this story when I saw videos of people talking about their experiences in their DRs. And since this drug is something that can be naturally produced by the brain, it didn't seem like much of a stretch to suggest that you could trigger its production without taking any drugs.

I want to make it very clear that I am not promoting or encouraging the use of drugs/illegal substances in order to shift.

My approach to shifting then vs. now:

I have always treated shifting like a skill. At first, I thought that if I practiced the methods/techniques I learned from Shifttok enough, I would eventually have to shift.

Now, I treat shifting as something you allow yourself to do rather than force. It's kind of like sleeping. The more you try to force it, the less likely it's going to happen.

More recently, I have been focusing more on improving my confidence when it comes to my abilities. In my opinion, it is not enough to intend to do something you also have to have the confidence to be able to do it.

I think that is why most people aren't shifting. There are only so many times a person can fail at something and not lose their confidence.

End Notes:

I think that this is all I wanted to say. But, once again, if you want me to explain something, let me know what it is.

#shiftblr #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #shifters #shifter #shifting antis dni #shifting realities #reality shifter #shifting community

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lawnmowereater · 11 months

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hello! i was wondering if you could make a fic even a short one on how bakugou (boyfriend) would react to seeing the (old) scars on your wrist for the first time. Just how he'd react for not noticing it before and stuff.

Authors Notes: omg yes i can! your my first person to request something so thank you so much. if you wanted a longer story im sorry. (also this is not my gif)

Trigger Warning: S-lf H-rm

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Gender Neutral Reader, Like One Use of y/n

Bakugou seeing your old SH scars.

yall would probably just be chilling in his dorm

like having a little date night or romantic sleepover

and you just changed into your pajamas and they show a lot more skin than the outfits that you usually wear

you both were probably just scrolling on your phones together or watching tv, then bakugou got bored. he just started looking around in curiousity

then he looked at your revealed skin, and kinda started looking at it. he did end up dating the hottest person in the world, so he might as well admire them

but his heart dropped when he saw tons of old, small sc-rs all along your skin. they seemed healed which was good, but that didnt bother bakugou the most

his voice sounded small and a tad bit scared when he spoke "hey y/n..?"

you looked at him confused. he normally never sounds this scared unless something is really wrong. so you ask what's up

"those sc-rs look pretty bad, and before you say anything. dont lie to me, i know that you couldn't have gotten that many sc-rs that bad from training"

his voice sounded a bit harsh, but you knew that he was just scared and worried.

your eyes widened in fear when he pointed them out. you quickly grab a blanket and cover yourself before trying to lie your way out of the situation. but its too late

bakugou knew what those sc-rs were from, he wasnt an idiot.

when he spoke, his voice now sounded a bit shaky. and his eyes looked glassy, it seemed as if he was holding back tears

"no, dont lie. i know that you got those from s-lf h-rm." bakugou takes a deep breath "but.. why?"

his red eyes shimmered with held back tears as he waited for you to answer him. he was so worried but he didnt want to show you.

eventually, you told him why you s-lf h-rmed (idk why you did). it took a lot of courage to open up to bakugou, and he realizes that.

when you're done, you look up to bakugou for his reaction. although your teary eyes slightly blur up the view

bakugou has a few dried tears on his cheek. and he looks like a lost puppy. his eyes are wide with worry and concern.

he never really had comfort and support for his mental health growing up. this whole concept of opening up to your loved ones is still kinda stange for him

"im sorry, i.. i had no idea" he doesnt really know what to say, but he'll be damned if he doesnt try his best.

"but, just come to me the next time that you feel like doing this. i cant have you going around with bloody sc-rs like its nobodies business."

he looks at you and your teary eyes. he thinks for a moment, but then he opens his arms for you to climb into.

you slowly climb into his arms and onto his lap. his arms go around your torso as your arms goes behind his.

and you guys just kinda stay there for a while, not saying anything. its a comfortable silence, and you both definitely need it.

eventually after god knows how long, bakugou whispers into your ear "why didnt you tell me sooner?"

bakugou was worring this whole time about why you didnt tell him. was he not trust worthy? did he do something wrong?

you sooth his worries by telling him that you were just scared of what he would say, and if we would take it well.

a wave of relief washes over his body when you say that. he thought that he did something wrong.

then, he says "good. this better not be my fault."

he pauses to think for a bit.

"do you need food?"

he couldnt think of many other ways to comfort you, so this will have to so.

happily, the two of you walk into the kitchen for dinner, and prepare to spend a whole lot more time cuddling tonight.

#mha #Bakugou x reader #Bakugou #angst #fluff #s-lf h-rm #fanfiction #x reader #bnha

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yanderes-galore · 1 year

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(Same Yandere!Frank anon) Maybe him being overly protective/possessive of the reader interacting with other survivors/pissed when other killers hurt the reader badly? Otherwise from that- surprise me! I love reading your work 🥰

Okay! Idk if you meant a short or a concept so I just did what came to mind. Hopefully it satiates your craving :)

Yandere! Frank Morrison being protective/possessive

Short Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Blood mention, Violence, Possessive behavior, Jealousy, Threats, Murder, Forced relationship, Sadism, Stalking, Ownership.

Frank is usually sadistic and cruel towards his darling.

Although, he does have a soft spot towards you.

He likes to think of you in a way as his prey.

Seeing you interact with other survivors, or him hearing of other killers hunting you, makes his blood boil.

Frank doesn't even like the other members of the Legion hunting you down.

He gets so explosively angry.

He sometimes even acts childish about it.

Frank stalks you throughout the trials he shares with you.

Other survivors around you are immediately in danger to his rage when he sees them around you.

Once he catches them, Frank's going to ram their head into the wall or ground, seething.

His breathing is ragged, enraged.

"I don't want you around (Y/N)...."

It's like he's scolding them in his statement.

When in reality he's just telling how he feels, a slight warning before he slaughters them.

Frank isn't as playful or teasing with other survivors.

He doesn't care about them or what happens to them.

Frank's only obsessive about you.

He likes watching what you do, he likes playfully tormenting you, only he can interact and make you bleed/scream.

Which is why he also gets pissed at other killers.

He doesn't care how tall or strong they are.

He claims you.

They need to take their hands/claws off you.

"Look over there, see that one at the campfire? That one's mine, got it? End of discussion."

He knows the Entity would not allow him to harm other killers.

Yet he hopes the Entity sees how well he works with you and gives you willingly.

Think of Frank like a possessive dog or wolf.

He comes off as this intimidating figure, sadistically playing the role as your tormentor whenever he has you in his grasp.

He hunts you like a wolf, being faster than you and treating you like his prey.

But around others he's aggressive, bordering on being a brat.

He wants nothing more than to mark you and gouge his blade at anyone else who think you're theirs.

Frank was never one to share the things he likes.

He'll drag others into his problems, but he's possessive of you.

Frank would be very aggressive with his obsession towards his darling.

He's possessive more than protective, yet either one gets the point across.

You're his to hunt down and catch...

Nothing will get in his way.

"I like you better alone... with me."

#yandere dead by daylight #yandere legion #yandere dbd frank #yandere dbd #yandere frank morrison

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fleshdyke · 1 month

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i am a new high school teacher and i would love to hear from you about how you feel like teachers could improve handling your accommodations! it’s a tough system to get any benefit from as a student and i want to make it easier at my school!

im going to assume youre talking about the whole english class thing bc that's what i've been talking about lately lol. in case you didn't catch the whole thing, basically what happened is i missed a day of school bc of a field trip and on the day that i missed we were scheduled to finish the book we'd been reading and in one of the last couple chapters there was a really graphic description of csa. my teacher is really great and always gives warnings for anything potentially triggering in anything we were going to read but again i didn't hear the warnings. anyways next day i came in and started to finish the book, she didn't notice i was reading it so she didn't warn me, and i was totally caught off guard by the whole thing. i actually only read three words of the first paragraph that started the description but it was enough to trigger a really awful flashback in the middle of class lmfao. so i had a panic attack in class, my teacher was very nice about it, she let me leave class and was sorta talking me through it (and sent my best friend to find me in second period after i couldn't find him first period), etc etc. next day i got my teacher to skip past the description, tried to keep reading from there but it was mentioned a couple times after and i had another panic attack. she was very nice about it again, asked me about my birds to distract me, and then told me the ending bc i couldnt finish the book. anyways she wanted to show the movie adaptation of the book and it's pretty faithful to the book so she let me go somewhere else so i don't have to see it. anyways. idk. it's a lot easier to identify the accommodations teachers should take when they don't take them lol. but idk just. believe the students. like just never assume students are doing whatever in bad faith or are actively trying to make your life hard. some of us are at different levels of maturity so just never treat us like children even if you see some of us act like children (including those that are acting like children. it won't help to disrespect them). accommodations like the ones i'm getting to prevent further flashbacks n things like that really aren't hard to deal with. we're trying our best, we're still very new to the world, "problem kids" have way more problems than what they're making for you, you have no idea what else we're dealing with at home, socially, or in other classes, and high school is probably the hardest thing (academically at least) most of us have ever done. don't treat us like children but keep in mind that we're still learning. i'm very open about the reasons i need my accommodations but a lot of people aren't, so if someone says they can't/don't want to read a book or watch a movie and they won't tell you why, don't treat them like they're trying to get out of doing work. give them an alternative. it usually works out

#asks

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spacebeyonce · 1 year

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Sorry for dumping in your inbox again haha, but anyways-- just rn I came across a post on my dash about how it's the reader's duty to check tags, and that you shouldn't attack fanfic authors for "writing stuff you don't like" (ie proship nonsense lol), and while I do agree that it's always important to check tags thoroughly; I kept thinking about how many times I came across disturbing content, that WASNT tagged, and it was making me think, "if this wasn't tagged, don't I have the right to be upset about it being included?"

For example, my special interest is specifically Kaeya, an Indian character from genshin impact. On the rare occasions that I read fanfic, it's usually one shots of them-- however SO many fanfics end up describing kaeya in the most racist or fetishy way imaginable, or have characters say or do racist things towards them! And look-- I can handle kaeya fics involving racism (hell, I even write some for my friends and I to discuss!!!), however those fics are usually exploring racism as a THEME, and how it impacts the character! Most fanfics though? Absolutely don't do that!! And the racism is literally NEVER tagged!! There's no warning of kaeya being called a fucking "caramel twink" or have their brother say racist shit to them! There's none of that! Idk...

TL;DR ppl don't understand that you can't trust authors to tag everything/not to be pieces of shit, and that it shouldn't be reader's fault for stumbling across untagged shit that upset them + genshin fans suck ass lol

oh don't apologize! I enjoy talking to new people!

but yes most fic writers are fucking atrocious when it comes to tagging, and oh how they bristle when you ask them to tag something more appropriately. it's why the 'creator chose not to warn' tag is so....pointless to me??? that shit is my enemy. like warning readers about a topic or theme that might trigger them is common courtesy imo. and if your story can't stand without you making the triggering content be a surprise then like...that's a skill issue I fear. it's always 'fic writers don't owe you anything' and all this attitude but then that attitude is gone when our hard work isn't recognized the way we want.

like I can understand being like 'fic writers don't owe you anything' when it's someone that's telling you the direction your story should go, or constantly demanding updates and not like....idfk interacting with this thing you're making as it comes. I get that! but this is kinda supposed to be a community, and communities build each other up and call us in when needed...so maybe we should be open to more than just blind uncritical praise. but what do I know!

but yes, they are never, ever going to tag for racism like that. when it's how you write it, in EXPLORATION AS A THEME then hell yeah it'll be tagged. but when it's racial fetishization, or an irrational bashing fic towards a character of color...no, no. that'll never get tagged. you can certainly bring up why it's hurtful to the author, but chances are high that won't go suuuper well. 'cause I mean...the last few weeks have really reminded me that when it comes to racism fandom is just stupid as hell about it so what else can we expect lmao.

but yeah I feel your pain so hard. every time I hear about the genshin fandom it's when they're doing something racist so. I'm sending a prayer up for your strength lmao. I hope you've got a good community of color around you there because man it sure helps you feel less fucking insane.

#himejoshikaeya #fandom racism

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kaythejay · 11 months

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I've just had the biggest mental health win that I have ever experienced and I just want to scream it from the rooftops.

Trigger warnings for discussion of depression, suicide, and self harm.

I used to struggle with like. Depression and self harm and suicide and the like. Long story short, I've been shaving a lot more lately. I mean really for the last 2-3 years I've been shaving more. Because it finally feels safe to. When I was in the height of my depression, even just seeing a razor was enough to open up my cravings (and yes, I would call it a craving. It was the exact same feeling that I get with like. Food only instead of wanting to eat something, it was the desire to draw my own blood). And this craving wasn't something that would easily go away or could be ignored. It was worse than my sugar craving. Just seeing a razor was enough to turn every thought in my head towards wanting to draw blood. I couldn't think of or focus on anything else.

If I were to pick one up, there was no doubt that I was going to relapse that day, though usually it wouldn't be until later and most of the time it wasn't a razor that I used.

So like me being able to shave on its own feels like a huge victory. Like I don't feel myself too much at risk for relapsing at all.

But today. Today we had an even bigger victory.

So, admittedly, I did draw blood a couple of times. And because of that, I know that seeing my blood, especially when it was due to a purposeful action on my part in a self harm act, it's a huge trigger. And by "trigger" I mean that the moment I saw my own blood, I was filled with this sort of . . . Satisfaction I suppose is the word. I can't really describe the feeling because it was a dark and demented sort of joy that you only really know from having experienced it. It's not the like. Pure happy feelings that I get from being around you or anything, it's something else entirely. It's almost like this dark and twisted sort of pride. Idk. Those are just the words I have to describe it because unless you've felt it, you're not going to understand.

And with this dark and demented sort of joy came the desire to do more. And the more blood I saw, the more I wanted to do it. So like. It turned into this vicious cycle of very much so wanting to hurt myself in order to draw blood. And like. Before I started drawing blood, I was already . . . Addicted I supposed the word would be. I was addicted already to like. The feeling of like. Coping by hurting. Because it is an addiction. A very hard one to beat. But like. As soon as I drew blood for the first time, it got like ten times worse.

Anyway.

So I was shaving this morning cause I figured why not n stuff. Get my stuff I need to done and go outside in shorts and read a book for a bit. Not that I have to shave to wear shorts. But again. I figured why not cause I like the feeling of smooth legs.

And for the first time in I don't even know how long, I nicked myself with the razor. I didn't regress at all. My first thought wasn't "oh that's nice. Let's do more." Like it would have been a couple of years ago. Even just last year, I think that's what my first thought would have been. But no. My first thought today was "oh. I forgot how much that hurts. Let's get that taken care of."

I know a bunch of internet strangers probably aren't going to care about any of this, but like. I'm so beyond happy right now. I just kind of sat down and cried for a little bit because I've come so far and I've gotten so so so much better now. I just want to scream because of how happy I am. It didn't even hit right away the absolute weight of what just happened. But wow. Wow wow wow.

#kiera speaks #depression #self harm #mental disorder #mental health #mental illness #it does get better #it really really does

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bus-stop-to-kpop · 2 years

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Price of Love (Ravn x Reader)

Pairing: Ravn (Kim Youngjo) x gn!Reader (Reader wears a dress as disguise and gets called miss once but like it’s a disguise so... could still be gn)

Requested?: Yes

Genre: Mafia!au, slight angst ig

Trigger Warning!!: mentions of death, mentions of wounds (but no actual injuries in the story), fire

Summary: You’re on a heist to steal precious artwork together with your boss turned boyfriend, but he suddenly changes the plan and leaves you worrying for his safety.

Word Count: 1,528

A/N: Once again I am apologizing that it took mw so long to write this T.T

But like writing is a creative task and sometimes I’m just not creative enough... Anyway I finally made it yayy. Enjoy it :)

Also about the title idk how to name it so yeah they’re at an auction and in love so that was the best I could come up with, sorry -Admin J

As you walked through the entrance of the auction house, you instantly felt as if all eyes were on you.

The clothes you were using as a disguise made you feel uneasy. Usually, people in your line of work didn’t care for what you wore, it was more important if you were holding a loaded gun to their head or a knife to their throat.

But right now, the flowy black dress you were wearing to hide your silhouette, the blonde wig that was tightly secured with a scarf draped over your head and the pearls around your neck, made you feel incredibly uncomfortable. Yet that was still better than exposing who you were to those rich snobs all around you.

“You’re looking pretty. Maybe we should have you wear a dress more often.” The teasing voice of your boss turned boyfriend rang through the earpiece that was hidden under your wig as soon as you sat down at one of the chairs of the auction hall.

As much as you wanted to talk back, you refrained from doing so, to not blow your cover. Looking around you found Ravn dressed up as one of the guards at the side of the stage that would soon present the items for the auction. You ignored the sly smirk on his lips as he watched you.

It wasn’t hard to remember the first time you had seen him smirk like that. You had been found guilty of stealing from a club that belonged to him. Begging on your knees, to stop him from killing you, you advertised yourself to him as best as possible. Saying that whatever dirty work he needed to have done, you’d do it without asking any questions.

And in these past years you did not only manage to earn his respect but also his love.

Which brought you to the current situation, an auction with the finest and most expensive art pieces from all over the world. To top it all off they would be presenting the most expensive diamond ring known to man, but Ravn had made it clear you were only here for the art.

He’s always had this fable for arts, which you couldn’t really understand, many of those drawings looked like the were made by kindergarteners, why would they be that expensive? But if you could make your boyfriend happy by stealing him an ugly but crazily expensive artwork, you’d do it anytime.

As the auction began with the first piece, you were having fun by bidding together with the rich people in the room. Of course, you had no intentions of actually buying any of the items, but it was fun to compete with the rich and push the price to unbelievable numbers.

Once in a while you could feel Ravn sneaking glances at you, to make sure you were doing fine. He was happy to see that you were enjoying toying with other bidders as he knew you weren’t very interested in art, he had feared you would get bored.

When they finally rolled in the last item of the auction after what felt like eternity, you couldn’t take your eyes off the diamond ring. It had been one of your biggest dreams to one day possess a ring like that. The way it made the whole room sparkle as the bright lights of the auction room illuminated it enchanted you.

So when the fire alarm started blaring through the building it ripped you out of your trance and you jumped a little, even if you knew about this plan all along. As the smell of fire and dark smoke spread panic arose, people were trying to storm out of the building as fast as possible the guards guided everyone out of the room to safety until only you were left in the room.

“Miss, you need to leave there’s a fire!” A guard came up behind you. “Oh, shut up!” You declared, knowing fully well it was Xion under that disguise. He laughed and nudged your shoulder as he walked by you to get the artwork from backstage. The auction house was trusting the guards to lock away the art pieces safely in the case of a fire, but there was one thing they weren’t aware of, they all had been replaced by Ravn’s workers.

“The van is at the back entrance; Ravn is getting the fake paintings right now. Put the real ones in this bag and bring them to the car. Tell Leedo to drive right away, Ravn and I will make sure this whole place is burning to the ground. We’ll meet you guys back at headquarters afterwards.” Xion explained as he handed you a bag.

You felt uneasy, this wasn’t the original plan, what happened to taking the paintings, replacing them with fake ones to make everyone think they burned and getting out of there as fast as possible? Why would the two of them stay here any longer than they must? But it wasn’t the right time to question their plan, if Ravn wanted it that way there was nothing you could do.

As you were walking to the bag door, clutching the bag of paintings tightly you actually met Ravn on your way. “Be careful!” You warned him, he was probably fully aware that you didn’t like his decision to stay here instead of coming back to HQ with you. “Don’t worry babe, I’ll see you in my office later. I have a surprise for you then.”

Before you could even question what he was talking about he was pressing his lips to yours. For a second the blaring fire alarm and the smell of smoke were completely forgotten as you melted into the kiss, after all there was a possibility, it would be your last. But as the heat in the building was rising, you became aware that you were actually in an actively burning building and it was best to leave, with that the two of you parted and went your ways.

Leedo was already waiting at the back entrance, just as Xion had said. The sliding door of the van open for you to jump right in. He seemed to be aware of the plan as he stepped on the gas before the door was even fully closed.

“Why are they staying there?” You asked Leedo as you climbed to the passenger seat of the van. His eyes were focused on the street as he shrugged. He didn’t know either, he was just following the orders Ravn had given.

~*~

Back at the headquarters people were cheering upon seeing you return with the bag full of paintings, usually you would be celebrating with them, but right now you didn’t feel like celebrating anything if Ravn wasn’t by your side. You walked straight to his office. Something in you was wishing that if you opened the door, he would be there waiting for you, but how was that possible. He couldn’t have gotten here quicker than you did. Especially since Leedo was Oneus’ fastest getaway driver.

Just like you thought, his office was empty. You put the bag of paintings down at his neatly organized desk before you let yourself fall back into his black leather chair. A sigh escaped your lips as you were on the verge of crying, you were trying to calm down by telling yourself he had survived so many dangerous situations. Every time he had escaped sometimes with gun wounds, stab wounds even broken bones, he said they were like scratches to him. But Fire? That was something completely different, he couldn’t control that or fight that.

You started pacing around the small office, letting your hand wander over the metal surfaces of his shelves to check for dust, just to distract yourself. Of course, there was no dust, his office was the place he treasured the most, so it had to be spotless.

You were standing with your back to the door as you heard it open, your whole body froze. It scared you, what if you turned around and it wasn’t Ravn standing there, but one of his men telling you he wouldn’t return.

“Y/N.” A breath escaped you that you didn’t even know you were holding. You couldn’t hold your tears anymore, they just started flowing. That was his voice! Turning around you rushed into your boyfriends’ arms and hugged him tightly. Your fist hit his chest, “Why did you have to do that? Why couldn’t you just stick to the plan?”

He didn’t answer at first, tightening the hug and stroking your hair. When he was sure you had calmed down, he wiped your tears with his thumb before speaking, “Well the plan didn’t involve getting you this.” He pulled something out of his pocket, it took you a second to realize what it was. The diamond ring!

“Will you spend the rest of your life with me?” This question alone had you crying again and your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him into a kiss. “Is that a yes?” Ravn chuckled when you parted.

“Of course it is!”

#oneus #oneus x reader #oneus ravn x reader #oneus fanfic #oneus imagine #oneus ravn #oneus mafia!au #oneus scenarios #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop mafia!au #challenge: make the characters say marry me #admin J: no #admin J

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madness-in-the-flesh · 2 years

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So I was originally going to write this myself, maybe I will idk yet, BUT NO ONE ELSE HAS DONE THIS YET SO-

Yandere! Garrett Goyle?

That bombastic gameshow host is apparently one of the worst in Nevada, despite being a G03LM who are usually depicted as kind and not sadistic.

Your thoughts? :)

mmmm Goyleeeeeeee. he's fun. I think he's fun to write for lmao. But thoughts for him? too many. So here's a set of my funky headcannons. He feels a lot different from the usual Nevada yandere too which is interesting

Garret Goyle General Headcannons

GENRE - Romantic / Platonic

Trigger Warnings - Manipulation, Gaslighting, Kidnapping, exploitation, mental abuse

Makes comments and talks a lot about. Similar to how some hosts already do like " Oh, my partner's not gonna like that " basically hinting he's got someone when in reality, You aren't yet aware of his obsession nor that you're the one who he's got a little infatuation.

I can imagine it being something similar to a reverse parasocial relationship at first aka basically meaning he's the one watching and forming a bond with you while you have no idea who the fuck he is. especially if you just, don't have access to a tv.

It might go down smoother if you are a fan of the show. From the looks of it, I think one of the main appeals apart from the mindless murder rampage is that of Garret Goyle himself. He has a way with words like no other in Nevada and is clearly very good at his job if there has been multiple seasons. ( I can establish this w/ the calendar. ) so if you're a fan of the show, you're a fan of him. If you're a fan of him, Maybe you can make it work.

Probably tries to get you involved in the show. He WANTS the world to know yours his and he, yours. It's only right that everyone gets to know just how lucky you are to be with him! He'll be holding you close, trying to bounce jokes off you - whether you respond to him or not

I mean don't respond though - Because then you're just reinforcing his fantasies with you. Giving him hope that you'll bend to his will and go along with whatever he tells you. Reaffirming his delusions.

He's a lot smarter than he looks, A lot more crafty than the average G0L3M. As well as being able to get to a lot more resources. He's crafty, collected and knows how to put on an act which can lull you into a false sense of security despite being kidnapped and held with him against your will

We're also changing his name to Garret " Gaslight " Goyle because he'll do a lot of this. He wants you to question everything, including yourself, but not him. He's the one thing you can always trust to be right. He needs you to believe that he is the only thing you've got. He's got a silver tongue and he knows how to weave a compelling narrative: So he knows how to make not only believable, but sound like something you do want to believe. A pretty lie.

He'll definitely manipulate you into a relationship with him, Even if your aware of his intentions and at first, outright say no. It's hard to resist his way of wording things so there's still the possibility he can sweet talk you still. He compliments you and just makes you feel wanted. How could you say no?

If for whatever reason you do say no and continue to do so, He'll play it off. Everything is fine. Until he fucking abducts you. If you won't come with him willingly, He isn't afraid to use force. Lots of people would feel lucky in your position. Getting to be with THE Garret Goyle! So why don't you just let him take care of you.

Will record you a lot. I mean like a lot. Not for anyone in particular outside himself to watch though - Maybe he has a place he uploads them and Tricky some fans are all about your relationship with him - Like your the greatest pairing known to man, an otp if you will. Even if you're scared and crying: This is Nevada after all.

Will poke and make fun of any misery your feeling as if he was still on the show. Everything is free range and it's hard to establish when he is and isn't off camera because his persona is... well him.

This might cause you to become super paranoid because without a way to distinguish what you presumed to be an act, You can also not establish when the two of you are on and off camera. This means you are constantly on your toes about it and can be pretty psychologically damning under the right circumstances.

Say the wrong thing? ESPEICALLY on camera? He will punish you. He'd never hurt you physically himself but he's mentally and verbally hurt you, . Might even let the viewers vote on what happens and then he'll gaslight you into believing it's all your fault you had to get punished. You think this would happen if you behaved?

I feel like he'd treat you like a glorified house pet almost and he's the owner who's constantly posting and documenting what you do, Kinda like the scenarios with family channels on YouTube except arguably worse. Part of him just wanting to watch you, save the recordings for later. The other to exploit you to possibly cause more interest in the show.

He also makes merch for you two, to show you how many people support your relationship! I mean. Seeing all those people with shirts with your and his face on him will obviously not affect your mental state badly. He wants you to understand that he wants it, everyone else wants it so why don't you want it?

Try to escape him? He'll turn it into a game everyone in Nevada can enjoy, fun for the whole family! You've run off and the aim of the game is to catch you. He's even spread info that you'll do anything ( which includes pretending he's kidnapped you, for the nicer folks of Nevada ) to win! You're slippery! Sly! And all his! which is why he needs you back!

Also makes sure whoever does is rewarded handsomely. He can afford it and it's even more of a incentive to bring you back. Although, Doesn't care what they do really - as long as your back with him. Although any harm may result in a small deduction of the prize

He'll then probably gaslight you into believing that you never left. It was all a hallucination or wild daydream - Any injury sustained was something you caused by yourself. He wouldn't harm you so why would you be hurt? He also makes sure to tell his staff to do the same - If they are able to communicate for you.

Overall he's very hard to outsmart and even harder to escape from permanently thanks to his influence. He'll make sure you can only rely on him and him alone while also showing both you and the world just who you belong too. Not fun.

#yandere madness combat #madness combat #yandere madness combat x reader #madness combat x reader #cw yandere #cw manipulation #cw mental abuse #cw gaslighting #cw kidnapping #cw exploitation #garret goyle

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spade-club · 2 years

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Okay big mental breakdown incoming so like, trigger warning, for everything

I keep panicking and looking to my left because thats where I used to keep things I could hurt myself with. Ive also had a lot of soft relapses lately, none of the usual things but just resorting to pain to feel better in general. I know this is like, just how summer goes for me, not sure exactly why that is?? Ive been trying to figure that one out for years, but I dont remember much at all about my summers growing up, and in later years its been a better time because my friends didnt have school. Its not like theres a good reason for this to be the time it worsens?? Idk, but summer is ending now and its still bad, getting worse. I'm really scared its going to start up again, I'm also really scared someone is going to do something drastic and I just... idk. Its more possible now than it ever has been because I've always been caught up in "if I kill myself it has to be the right way" and until recently there was something wrong with all of them!! Now I literally have a plan. And I've known about this plan for months. But theres nothing I can do to stop it. I also am too scared to be put in a ward or something but I also think like. How am I supposed to know if I'll need to until its too late? And involuntary hold sounds like it would be literal hell for me and make things a thousand percent worse if that happened, which is all the more encouragement to go through with it when I know no one will be able to save me. Idk, its like. Really fucking hard to figure out what to do. Right now I'm like. I want every possible outcome all at once right now. I want to hurt, I want to die, I want to live. Its so overwhelming. I dont know what to do. I dont want to do this. I dont know what to do. Whats wrong with me? Am I going to be okay?? I dont want to. I dont want not to. I dont know what to do. I dont know what to do.

#I wrote all of this out and immediately feel stable but I know I'm not #idk its just. a lot of feelings going on right now I guess #I'm sure I'll be alright. i always am. its just like... hard and I want attention but I can't talk about anything else #also specification. I used the word I the whole time but I just kinda mean the amalgamation of all the thoughts and feelings in all of me #I'm aware theres alter shit going on here I'm just a lot of different things at once and it's too hard to distinguish any of it

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chappedlipjournal · 10 months

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The urges have not gone away. And they started before i began watching elementary. But ive realized over the last few days that show has been uhhh triggering at times. Its morbidly fascinating to me why. I am not a drug addict. I have never done drugs of any kind let alone somthing like heroin. And yet, I find sherlocks struggle with sobriety imitating my own struggles to stay clean with startling similarity. I have not done a lot of research into the "addiction" of self harm. But honestly, its how i have thought of my own relationship with it for quite some time. The initial burst of pleasure. The itch that cant be scratched. Giving in. Repeating and repeating. Building up a tolerance to the pleasure spikes. The guilt and shame and want. I know that I tread on delicate territory when I make this comparison. And i don't use it lightly. I have often thought that if I were do some drugs or some other addictive behavior repeatedly, i would without a doubt form an addiction. I dont have the same call to alcohol or drugs the way I do to the fucking exacto knife i have in my drawer for crafts. I was warned that meth will rot your teeth etc. I was not warned thar a razor blade could just as easily ruin my life. I wonder what i would be like if that had been talked about. Would have i still picked it up? I dont know.

Sherlock ends s2 with heroin in his home. Stored away in a tiny little cut out in a book no one but him would ever think to look in. I kept razor blades, needles, bandages long after i had stopped cutting. He kept it as a test is what he said. But i also think he kept it for security. It was right there within arms reach. If he ever needed it. I have felt the same about the blades in my life when i was feeling desperate. Kitchen knives. Disposable razors. And push come to shove. I am an adult. I have my own money. I can buy a pack of blades at the store. Although that would feel like admitting defeat.

I dont know why im writing this all out. It doesnt change anything. Ive just been struggling a lot lately and i think some is self inflicted and some is not. I dont want to stop watching elementary though. Overall i enjoy the show a lot. I dont want to get rid of my exacto knife either because I bought it after losing my first one and i do want to do crafts with it.

Ive also been writing a fic that heavily centers on self harm. Sometimes i find it cathartic. Or at least a way to fake the high. Its usually not triggering. But this time, it is. I pick it up in fits and starts. Trying to nail down the words for the exact feelings.

I think all of this is also compounded by the fact im really struggling with the idea i may be autistic. I hate the ambiguity. I hate not knowing. And i look at the autistic experiences i see around me and cannot relate. And i think how i cam i keep a job for the next 40+ years? It makes me want to die. And i wonder is that normal? Is that how everyone feels? Is it because im autistic. Idk. Idk!!!! But i have a job in my field that pays relatively well. I am not asked to do more than i can. Its a cushy office job where i am able to handle things and do things and do it well. I dont think i would ever qualify for disability. And yet the thought of staying here for 5 years until my retirement is solidified nearly makes me nauseous.

And im also really struggling with my sexuality and romantic orientations again. That guy just really fucked up my head. Unbeknownst to him. I need to go to bed. Its too fucking late to be having an identity crisis. Dear lord.

#p #tw self harm

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the-invisible-queer · 21 days

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Thoughts on the Jonas Brothers and their spouses' met gala looks?

In the past? I doubt any of them are showing up this year because Nick has the flu, Pri is still in Europe shooting and Joe is going through his life changes

Has Kev and Dani ever gone? I couldn't find any pics and I feel like I've only seen Prick and Jophie in the past

But yeah I'll share my thoughts on their looks

Idk what year these looks are from and don't feel like looking it up out of laziness and idk if I got every year they've gone but I tried.

Jophie trigger warning for those who need it

Joe & Sophie

So THIS is what I think of when I think of Joe at the MET Gala because the image of him with his hand on Sophie's pregnant belly gets me every time. 🥺

Despite how things ended their love was still beautiful while it lasted and their love gave us two beautiful girls

Their fits are good. I LOVE his cape(?!?) or the tail of his jacket. Could do with more chest hair but that's just ME

His hairrrr 😩 and the facial hairrrr he could get me pregnant if he wants

Sophie's dress is simple but still pretty. I know I kept reading about her wearing flats - hence why they're almost the same height for once. But I mean who expects a pregnant woman to be in heels all night?

Her hair and makeup is giving AU Morticia Addams - which they did do Morticia and Gomez for Halloween one year and it lives rent free in my head

Then we have what might have been their first MET Gala together? Maybe. Like I said I'm not sure.

Joe is wearing my favorite color which looks *chef's kiss* on him. Always love seeing my guys

Sophie's dress is gorgeous and looks so fucking good on her

And then we have whatever the fuck this was:

They both look incredible as expected. I mean they're both hot as fuck.

I like her bodysuit more than his turtleneck.

Can't not mention how short my guy is next to her in those heels I'm lowkey obsessed with it

Nick & Priyanka

Nick wasn't with Pri yet.

I believe this was the year they got married but they had a very quick and short romance. Like they went on one date and then he proposed and they got married a few months later ALLEGEDLY

I love this fit. Simple, elegant and it looks good on him. Though I don't like the shoes.

I wish his hair was better so I could use this for Lip but Lip would NEVER cut his hair that short.

Was this the religious theme year? The one when Chadwick and Rihanna won the whole night

I don't know what was going on. What the hell was the theme?

But hi bald 👋

I really love his jacket. It's giving me Baz Luhrman Gatsby aesthetic.

I have a love/hate relationship with her trench coat dress with a train. Like she obviously looks incredible. But also why? I'm not mad at it. Just confused.

LISTEN

This is one of my least favorite Nick looks and I cannot pinpoint WHY!

It's not the stache because we learned I'm like the only person besides Pri who didn't mind the Bruno stache. Could be the eyeliner which I usually find hot on men but I guess he's the exception. Sorry, Nick. 😔

She's giving the White Queen in Alice in Wonderland. Reminiscent of Iracebeth in Burton's Alice in Wonderland with the hair.

I love her fit. I hate his.

NOW

The photo of them looking at each other makes me want to throw up in a good way. I love how in love and obsessed with each other they are. It's one of my favorite photos of them.

Probably my least favorite look of Pri's for the gala. The dress is gorgeous and I love the gloves, but the outer layer looks like a giant sleeping bag with drapes.

Not a fan of her hair either. HOWEVER she still looks hot as fuck. Like there is no possible way she could ever look bad.

Nick looks good. Like the leather jacket and the tie with the broach(?) shaped like a dragon(?). Simple but it works for it.

I'll be the first to ADMIT Nick doesn't need much to look good because he looks good in most fits. He's handsome and most clothes look good on his form.

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my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda · 9 months

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Still in the middle of D3 so no spoilers please!

I dont usually make up family headcanons with same-age characters (it leaves myself more room for shipping) but for some reason I came up with three of them here. Okay I just realized the first one theyre not same age but, uh, anyway!

Ryoma is Hiyoko's uncle. I dont have much of an explanation for this. At first I thought it would be a funny idea if Ryoma was Hiyoko's dad but then I realized that Hiyoko's dad goes to all her dance recitals while Ryoma's been in jail for a while, so that makes it kind of impossible. Just a silly idea.

Kazuichi is Kaito's younger cousin (idk what the timeline is for D3 compared to the other games yet, and I know often times this class is headcanoned as younger than the D2 class, but this is all in an au anyway). They're same-voice actor cousins. Kaito gave Kazuichi the idea to build a rocket engine, maybe they watched alien movies together when they were little. Kaito hasn't seen Kazuichi since she was still in her booknerd phase, so Kaito would laugh a lot if you told him that his nervous, fidgety cousin went through a "scary punk phase." Have an idea for a short fanfic where he calls and says he's coming to visit her again and she's mid-transition at this point and unsure about coming out to him - I think he'd be cool with it. He'd possibly confuse trans with drag at first but he would be supportive and say that he's glad to see Kazuichi gain some confidence and self-esteem "even if you're still a bit fidgety" (Kaito that's not from being afraid that's just the adhd). Also Kaito and Zoey get along alright.

Nagito is Kokichi's older brother. (potential ableism trigger warning, also a warning for that sibling dynamic where one kid is neglected for the sick/disabled kid). There's angst potential as well as funny potential. This is more subject to change since there's a lot I still dont know about Kokichi, but from what I can tell he's a manipulative liar always making scenes to get attention and even though some of the fandom says he is "a normal person faking mental illness," I dont buy it. Maybe he's faking something, but he definitely has something too. Not sure if this is a controversial opinion, but I believe that people who fake mental illnesses (to this degree at least) are not neurotypical, it's a cry for help and they do need something, so they shouldn't be brushed off as just "ableist assholes" because there is something going on, though on the flip side it is not the job of other mentally ill people to coddle their feelings when that person is being ableist.

I think Kokichi also went through some trauma, like something happened with his family that made him have to attend court sessions (he said in the first trial that he had to go to trials all the time a long time ago "for his crimes as an Ultimate Supreme Leader" but I think that's Kokichi-talk for "he was a little kid and had to sit in trials for some family drama and the adults constantly blamed him for problems that weren't his fault," which is why he plays up this sort of misbehaving bad kid role). Anyway, my ansty hcs is that Kokichi was neglected because his parents focused on Nagito's illnesses, and that's part of why he acts up to get attention. He has some resentment for that but blames his parents more than Nagito and he and Nagito have the type of sibling relationship where they're sometimes on good terms and sometimes can't stand each other. They've thrown some shade at each other but Kokichi really knows how to piss off Nagito and is not afraid to bring up "hope" to mess with his head (though if anyone else did this they would suffer Kokichi's wrath, as far as he's concerned he's the only one allowed to pick on Nagito). Nagito thinks he goes easy on Kokichi when they fight but he can be petty and sassy back and has a lot of embarrassing dirt on Kokichi. They're the kind of brothers that will pester and argue with each other but they'll bury the dead body for the other no questions asked. And Lord help you if they're in the same courtroom, they could find the dumbest little things to bicker with each other about and filibuster the case, but also Nagito will totally back up Kokichi's lies and vise-versa. Whatever creates bigger hell at the moment for the player. It was a mercy they weren't in the same game.

Anyway, since I haven't finished the game yet there's probably-definitely stuff I dont know about these characters but I got excited to share this with you.

#kazuichi soda #kaito momota #kokichi ouma #nagito komaeda #ryoma hoshi #hiyoko saionji #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa 3 #headcanons and ideas

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sof-ingtired · 1 year

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Sometimes I feel Bad.

This isn't a vent but just....how I feel and I feel...Bad.

I'm just getting my feelings out and I feel bad. Because....well...

My sister asked me something, genuinely asked me because she was worried the other day and I'm still processing it. We joked about it after but I'm still thinking about it and I...feel bad I've made her look out for this in me.

See It's December. December is a bad month for a lot of my family because of a shared event, some have lasting trauma and some have moved on.

D and I haven't.

So my depression is Bad right now and D is isolating herself more than usual.

So we were hanging out in our living room, playing a game she likes together that I don't and I....I just genuinely wanted to play a game with her because I've had a rough time and playing video games with her makes me ...feel better. She makes me feel better so I had texted her during my lunch at work that I wanted to play something together cause we hadn't in a bit !

So we were playing this game called Super Monkey Ball for the Wii! I don't like it much but I know she does and I wanted to play something she likes ! She's also having a hard time y'know? And so we're playing and after a couple rounds she turns to me and....what she asked me is stuck in my head.

"You're....not gonna kill yourself right ?"

...it...hurt. I laughed about it and told her no and why she would think that because Genuinely I'm NOT . I've had my brain be rude but I haven't had any solid thoughts or plans or anything like that ! We joked after and our Padre joined but...

But she knows me. She knows me better than anyone else ! Even my partner, I love dino so so so much but no one gets me like D, we've grown up way to close for anyone to know me better.

And she knows the signs.

Because she's seen them before.

Because it was a sign before.

The way she said it... It was genuine concern. She's not an expressive person, she doesn't voice her concern in obvious ways, at least not obvious to others. She's subtle. Little things to show she's worried so her just...outwardly saying it.

It was a shock...I feel bad for making her think about that with me.

It makes me realise that even if I didn't realise it before... I traumatised my little sister. I did the one thing I never wanted to do because we've had enough of that.

I can't do anything to change it , I just feel bad y'know? I'm not upset right now, I'm just processing it out loud.

I'm gonna put trigger warnings and maybe my rant tag but I really didn't mean it to be ... Idk a true vent ? It technically is I guess skdjd

But it's not from a place of hurting or anything like that, I don't need help or any advice or comfort. I'm just processing things.

It's a weird thing to think about so intensely but I dwell on things too much y'know ? Plus it's ... Nearly 6 am and I've barely slept sksjs I don't know if this is cohesive in any way sksjs

If you want a tone to this just ... Imagine me laying in my floor staring at me ceiling and rambling...that's what this is to me at least...staring at the ceiling and idly rambling about what's been on my mind.

I hope y'all have a lovely holiday season. Have a picture of my Boy, Baxter, if you made it to the end of this ... Yes he's staring down at my from my headboard. He's judging us all.

Also this is my first time doing ALT text so if I need to improve it in any way let me know 👍👍

Also I should ... Sleep...or at least rest aksjsj

#remus rambles #i mean in the truest sense of rambling i am #tw suicide mention #tw suicide reference #I've slept like 2 hours #or at least under 3 because my watch didn't have enough to track it #but yeah #this is just rambling #ill put my rant tag in case #remus rants

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