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alastorss · 14 days

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AAAA ITS GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK!

I love your characterization of Alastor sm ❤️❤️❤️

Could I request reader dropping dead things (people/body parts, deer, etc.) at his door/radio tower? No note, just corpses. He’s gotta figure out who tf if dropping these for him.

a/n: thank you, it's so good to be back!! i really appreciate you and everyone for being so welcoming :')) <3

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"You've been doing what?!"

"I didn't think it was so bad... You're the one who wanted me to make friends!"

Charlie only gawks at you, tugging at the ends of her hair in stress. The Princess of Hell paces back and forth across the room, slowly piecing together why Alastor has been in such a foul mood lately.

"So you thought the best way to make friends with the Radio Demon was to leave dead bodies at his doorstep?"

"He loves dead bodies."

"Yeah, to eat them! Oh god, what kind of message have you been sending to him?" She babbles on, exasperated and flinging her hands around in a panic. "He must think you're threatening him or something!"

"Well..." you make some sort of constipated expression and Charlie stops dead in her tracks. "He might not know they've been from me."

"You've been leaving them anonymously?" The Princess squeaks, unsure of whether that makes it infinitely better or infinitely worse. "What was even the point then?"

"I get nervous!" You argue, flopping back on the couch and laying an arm over your eyes. "I was going to tell him eventually."

Alastor was a different breed of terrifying. He could silence a room just by breathing in it. The wailing souls in his broadcast were enough to command that sort of attention.

When Charlie had given you the task of making friends as a part of her "redemption project" you had assumed he was exempt from the list. He was, after all, fairly secluded despite his cheery demeanour. Very few had ever managed to become his companions.

However, your hopes of avoiding him had been flushed down the drain when you accidentally bumped into each other on the way out on your very first day.

He gave you a look over, scrutinizing you from head to toe until your cheeks burned. Then, demanded something very simple of you:

"Welcome! Please, do entertain me."

His first and, as of today, last words he ever spoke to you. Sure, your methods were a little unorthodox, but you had asked Husk for advice and Alastor's cannibalistic tendencies were as much as the bartender was willing to spill.

When you don't receive any response, you peel your arm away to peer at your friend. She makes another two laps around the coffee table before her face lights up.

"I've got it!"

"I don't like that look on your face—"

"Come on," she laughs, pulling you by the wrists. "You just have to be honest. And make sure he knows you're not trying to kill him!"

"How am I supposed to do that?" You ask nervously. "You just told me he's been in a worse mood than usual."

A sinister smile that could only belong to the daughter of the devil creeps its way across her lips.

Dread. All you feel is terrible dread.

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As much as Alastor enjoys a good meal, this is becoming excessive.

It must be the seventh or eighth body this week. And, as usual, there is no note. No indication of why there's a corpse or a deer head or a rabbit's foot at his door. He can't even sniff out any traces of a soul being here.

He hates charity.

Not even because he does not need it, but because the anonymity is making him think they're gifts of pity. That, or it's a threat on his life. Either way, he loathes the idea that someone is looking down on him.

The demon needs to get to the bottom of this soon. Paranoia is not common for him, but the anxious bubbling in his chest is unmistakable. Whoever keeps leaving the bodies at his door is meticulously clean when they kill. He would hate to be on the receiving end of the blade.

Just as he's about to dump the body in his swamp for later, there's a knock on his bedroom door. He hesitates.

No, he isn't afraid of whoever is on the other side of the door. However, if there were a fight, he would need to get his suit tailored again and he simply doesn't have the time for that today.

He takes slightly too long to decide whether or not the person on the other side of the wall is a threat, because soon enough his ears pick up the sound of retreating footsteps.

Alastor swings the doors open so fast that you yelp.

At first he's confused why you refuse to turn around to look at him. Lacking common manners—he'll have to bring that up to you later. Then, he's confused on why you've shown up to his door at all.

"May I help you, dear?"

A chill creeps down your spine. Charlie and her ideas... they would be the death of you. Preferably today. Right now.

"I didn't mean to disturb you!" You stammer, still not looking at him.

Alastor raises a brow before popping up behind you from the shadows. You squeak, clutching somehing to your chest and shielding it from his gaze. He does a loop around your body and you spin around to keep the item hidden. The Radio Demon narrows his eyes.

"Are you hiding something?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

You do another spin as he tries to get a peek of what's in your hands.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" He feigns offense. Again, another spin.

"Of course not!"

"You see, I very much don't enjoy being lied to. Last time I caught a scoundrel in my midst, I cracked them open like a—"

"Okay, okay!" You suddenly burst out. You turn so slow that Alastor feels himself holding his breath.

When he finally sees what you've been so insistent on hiding, he snickers. Impolitely, mind you.

"Don't laugh," you whine, squeezing the bouquet closer to your chest. Amongst the flowers are little pieces of death—fingers, eyes, ears.

Charlie had decided that one step back in your redemption by collecting body parts like this would result in three steps forward. She allowed it, just this once.

"Are these for me?" He purrs, leaning down until his face is in yours. You'd been warned before that Alastor had no concept of personal space, but you can't help the way it robs the air in your lungs.

"Please don't get the wrong idea," you strain in embarrassment. "I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. For leaving all those bodies here. I didn't mean for it to come across as insulting."

The demon blinks at you in stunned silence for a few moments before he cackles, standing back to let you breathe again. "Why, of course! No hard feelings, darling."

"Really?" You lighten up with a sigh of relief.

"Your little gifts have kept me on my toes," he assures. "Perhaps not my idea of entertainment, but the effort was there."

"I'm glad to hear that," you smile. "Charlie was worried you wouldn't accept my apology or want to be friends."

You seem to catch yourself, eyes going wide as you shake your head.

"N-Not that I'm assuming this means we can be friends!"

Alastor only laughs again, gentler this time. "No need to be so jumpy. I don't bite," he muses. "And tell the Princess she has nothing to worry about."

He takes the bouquet from you, hands lingering over yours for a fraction longer than he meant for them to.

"I would love to be your friend."

taglist: @the-lake-is-calling @dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice @averylonelysea @bri22222 @cxrsedwxrlds @amarokofficial @anae-naea-zacheria @for-hearthand-home @fantasy-is-best @angixyc @th3-st4r-gur1 @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it @dilemmaiscool @concentratedconcrete @squiword7 @clarakainda @princekeerys @cedarrthefluffylee (send an ask to be added!)

#🍓 faye's thoughts <3 #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin x reader #alastor fic #alastor headcanons #alastor x you #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor fanfiction #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin

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dduane · 6 months

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By the way...

it was sort of last week, or maybe during the week before—I forget— when @petermorwood came downstairs to get tea while he was working on some long post or another full of guns and swords and assorted deadly weaponry—or cats, or food, or historical clothing, you know what he's like... and all of a sudden he said:

"So what about Cyber Monday?"

And I wasn't sure where that was coming from, as Peter normally doesn't spend a lot of his time being concerned about cyber stuff in general.

"Uh, why?" said I.

"Well, it's the Young Wizards anniversary month. Shouldn't you be doing some kind of sale offer over on Twitter, the way you did on Tumblr?"

My mouth kind of opened and shut again. Mostly at the moment when I think of Twitter, it's in terms of imagery involving things circling the drain at ever-increasing speed. And as far as Cyber Monday went, I hadn't really thought about it. This year I noticed that I've started kind of lumping it in with Black Friday, which mostly increasingly makes me mutter and shake my head as I see what my email box gets to look like this time of year. And since I'd been mostly preoccupied with writing issues and website crap lately, you could kind of multiply that not-caring by two. Or five. Or some power of ten.

...Yet he had a point. And what the hell, at least putting a video up there would remind people that the series existed! (Because people do seem to keep forgetting, and then suddenly bursting out with OH WAIT ARE THESE THOSE BOOKS I LOVED WHEN I WAS A KID, WAIT, YOU MEAN SHE WROTE THOSE, I THOUGHT ALL SHE DID WAS STAR TREK?!) (Eyeroll.)

"But I told them on Tumblr," I said, "that I wasn't going to do any more of these sales for the foreseeable future."

"Looks like you forgot to foresee this," said Himself, dumping half a cow's worth of milk in his tea as usual. "Look, if you do it just one more time, I bet they'll forgive you as long as you tell them about it so they can take advantage of it if they want to." Then he snickered. "And anyway, you told them you weren't going to do any Sherlock/Young Wizards fusions either, and look how that turned out." More snickering. "They forgave you for that. Eventually."

"Oh god."

"Just tell them. They'll let you off the hook." Up the stairs he went, still snickering. "Sometime in mid-2024 probably."

(eyeroll)

Dammitall, I hate it when he has a point.

So look. Here's the discount page. There's the video, two paragraphs down. You all know the drill. The "All the Wizardry" package is $29.99 today. The "I Want Everything You've Got" package is $40 just for today. Anybody who hasn't taken advantage of one of these offers previously, or didn't have the cash earlier, or wants to point somebody else at it...go knock yourself or -selves out with my abslute blessing. (Because who knows whether anybody on Twitter will notice at all, the way the algorithm's been behaving.)

And: everybody please forgive me. (abases herself before the assembled multitudes in the approved manner)

(...Anyway, WTH, it's worth a try. I want to get this friend of mine a new fountain pen for Christmas, and every little bit helps...) :)

(And a final reminder: we can't sell to people in Britain / the UK, it's a Brexit problem ... so sorry about that.)

#just one more time folks #young wizards anniversary #sale #Ii hate it when he's right #(eyeroll)#meantime #don't anybody mention fountain pens #seriously #:)

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dailyadventureprompts · 7 months

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Homebrew Mechanic: Meaningful Research

Being careful about when you deliver information to your party is one of the most difficult challenges a dungeonmaster may face, a balancing act that we constantly have to tweak as it affects the pacing of our campaigns.

That said, unlike a novel or movie or videogame where the writers can carefully mete out exposition at just the right time, we dungeonmasters have to deal with the fact that at any time (though usually not without prompting) our players are going to want answers about what's ACTUALLY going on, and they're going to take steps to find out.

To that end I'm going to offer up a few solutions to a problem I've seen pop up time and time again, where the heroes have gone to all the trouble to get themselves into a great repository of knowledge and end up rolling what seems like endless knowledge checks to find out what they probably already know. This has been largely inspired by my own experience but may have been influenced by watching what felt like several episodes worth of the critical role gang hitting the books and getting nothing in return.

I've got a whole write up on loredumps, and the best way to dripfeed information to the party, but this post is specifically for the point where a party has gained access to a supposed repository of lore and are then left twiddling their thumbs while the dm decides how much of the metaplot they're going to parcel out.

When the party gets to the library you need to ask yourself: Is the information there to be found?

No, I don't want them to know yet: Welcome them into the library and then save everyone some time by saying that after a few days of searching it’s become obvious the answers they seek aren’t here. Most vitally, you then either need to give them a new lead on where the information might be found, or present the development of another plot thread (new or old) so they can jump on something else without losing momentum.

No, I want them to have to work for it: your players have suddenly given you a free “insert plothook here” opportunity. Send them in whichever direction you like, so long as they have to overcome great challenge to get there. This is technically just kicking the can down the road, but you can use that time to have important plot/character beats happen.

Yes, but I don’t want to give away the whole picture just yet: The great thing about libraries is that they’re full of books, which are written by people, who are famously bad at keeping their facts straight. Today we live in a world of objective or at least peer reviewed information but the facts in any texts your party are going to stumble across are going to be distorted by bias. This gives you the chance to give them the awnsers they want mixed in with a bunch of red herrings and misdirections. ( See the section below for ideas)

Yes, they just need to dig for it: This is the option to pick if you're willing to give your party information upfront while at the same time making it SEEM like they're overcoming the odds . Consider having an encounter, or using my minigame system to represent their efforts at looking for needles in the lithographic haystack. Failure at this system results in one of the previous two options ( mixed information, or the need to go elsewhere), where as success gets them the info dump they so clearly crave.

The Art of obscuring knowledge AKA Plato’s allegory of the cave, but in reverse

One of the handiest tools in learning to deliver the right information at the right time is a sort of “slow release exposition” where you wrap a fragment lore the party vitally needs to know in a coating of irrelevant information, which forces them to conjecture on possibilities and draw their own conclusions. Once they have two or more pieces on the same subject they can begin to compare and contrast, forming an understanding that is merely the shadow of the truth but strong enough to operate off of.

As someone who majored in history let me share some of my favourite ways I’ve had to dig for information, in the hopes that you’ll be able to use it to function your players.

A highly personal record in the relevant information is interpreted through a personal lens to the point where they can only see the information in question

Important information cameos in the background of an unrelated historical account

The information can only be inferred from dry as hell accounts or census information. Cross reference with accounts of major historical events to get a better picture, but everything we need to know has been flattened into datapoints useful to the bureaucracy and needs to be re-extrapolated.

The original work was lost, and we only have this work alluding to it. Bonus points if the existent work is notably parodying the original, or is an attempt to discredit it.

Part of a larger chain of correspondence, referring to something the writers both experienced first hand and so had no reason to describe in detail.

The storage medium (scroll, tablet, arcane data crystal) is damaged in some way, leading to only bits of information being known.

Original witnesses Didn’t have the words to describe the thing or events in question and so used references from their own environment and culture. Alternatively, they had specific words but those have been bastardized by rough translations.

Tremendously based towards a historical figure/ideology/religion to the point that all facts in the piece are questionable. Bonus points if its part of a treatise on an observably untrue fact IE the flatness of earth

#homebrew mechanic #d&d mechanics #research #tableskills #tabletop inspiration #dm tip #dm advice #exposition

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anilovie · 6 months

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thinking about anakin if you’ve had a bad/hard day & coming home to him just being ur safe place to unwind & cry if you need to, & he just UGH is so warm and gentle w uuuuuu i need him

I know it’s not exactly what you asked for but my anxiety has been soooo bad lately, i needed this too 🥲💕 -- thanks for the request!!

WC: 1.8k

CW: mentions of anxiety, angst + fluff, soft ani <3

You’d been on edge for days.

You could tell when it was getting bad again – your sleep schedule was off, your eating habits askew, easily irritated, and unable to stop moving for even a second to allow yourself to think. Thinking meant your thoughts would all come slamming back into you, and nothing was worse than that.

You were in a piss mood for multiple days in a row, the stress and anxiety getting so bad that you eventually fell into robot-mode. Everything in your life just kept piling on top of each other, from work problems, family issues, even relationship issues. You just came from a work meeting, which only seemed to add 10 tons to the plate you were already struggling to hold. These days, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Not to mention, you missed Anakin.

Your relationship was still new, and you’d been distancing yourself lately so he wouldn’t bear the brunt of your moodiness. Once you got everything handled– if you could just get a little better– that’s when you’d seek him out again.

“Y/n,” speak of the devil.

Usually, his deep voice would be met with a flurry of butterfllies in your stomach, but not today. Now, it was met with a sinking feeling.

Anakin was sitting on a bench outside the training room, fiddling with something on the hilt of his lightsaber. He had an ankle crossed over his knee, robes spilling over his shoulders, and usually you’d be delighted to see his pretty face.

You skid to a stop before him, frozen like a deer in headlights. “Anakin.”

He uncrossed his leg and leaned toward you, voice lowering so only you could hear.

“Where have you been? Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

You rocked back on your heels, twisting your fingers all in a knot. “Sorry, Anakin. I've just been busy.”

“Are you okay?”

“‘M Fine.”

He’d never heard that sort of dullness in your voice before. Never seen that… exhaustion in your gaze. He could see that you were trembling, even just standing there before him, like a storm was brewing beneath your skin… but your gaze was glaringly empty. He frowned, tugging gently at your wrist. “Come with me.”

Dread dumped over you like a bucket of ice water. The last thing you wanted was to be confronted – Anakin was supposed to be your safe space. You didn’t want to taint him with any of this. Didn’t wanna ruin his perception of you, of his good, sweet, brave, strong girl.

He pulled you into an empty battle-planning room, the lights dimmed so it was all shadowy inside. He closed the door and turned to you, concern etched into his handsome face.

“Y/n, tell me that truth. What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? What’s wrong??

Everything was wrong. Just the thought of it had wet, hot tears rushing to your eyes, the ones you promised yourself you wouldn't let appear. Before he could see, you ducked your head and covered your face with the crook of your arm, hiding from him.

You tried to swallow it down, the unexpected emotion so thick you couldn’t choke any words past. Your silence was answer enough– Anakin immediately reached out to touch you, but you shifted back an inch.

“‘M sorry,” your voice came out high-pitched and shaky, voice breaking. You were too ashamed to let him touch you.

Quickly, your sleeves became soaked in the hot tears you tried to stuff back into your eyes. You could hear your breaths grow quicker and quicker in your ears, a squeezing sensation in your chest furthering your panic. Your head was dizzy, unable to think past the fact that you were crying in front of Anakin, and you were so ashamed about it, you couldn't stop shaking, and you couldn’t breathe–

“Hey,” Anakin called your name in a soft hush, reaching for you again. This time, you let him pull you closer, hand encircling your waist, carefully guiding you back to him. You were still hiding in your arm, scrubbing at your face and muttering “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” as if to convince yourself you were.

He crouched before you, trying to be on your level so you would look at him already. When you finally let him tug your arms away, his heart ached at the sight – your eyes were all red, cheeks flushed and shining with tears. You looked exhausted, embarrassed, and… scared.

“Talk to me,” he murmured, allowing a warm hand to cup your cheek and brush the tears away with his thumb.

You still couldn’t look him in the eye, avoiding his worried gaze as you studied the robes over his chest. You were still trembling like a leaf in the wind, muscles tensed and gut rolling as everything you’d been suppressing washed over you like a tsunami.

“I’ve just– I just–” you sniffled, twisted your hands together, another tear trailing its way down your face. “Well, y’know I get anxious sometimes…” you muttered, breaths hiccuping in your chest.

Anakin hummed his agreement, urging you on.

“t’s just been really bad lately,” the admission felt like defeat. Pathetic, worthless defeat. Another wave of tears made your voice turn into a whimper, almost ending the sentence as a sob. But Anakin pulled you into him, tucking your head under his chin and against his chest, arms winding themselves around you.

You muffled your soft cries in his Jedi robes, clutching them in your fists to ground you.

“I just want it to go away,” you hiccuped. “I don’t know how to make it stop.”

“Shhh, honey, ‘ts okay,” his touch was gentle against your back, rubbing up and down in soothing motions. “I’ve got you -- I've got you.”

You felt like you could cry and cry and never stop. The feeling would never go away, you would always feel like there was something chasing you, hunting you, waiting for something to go wrong, always on edge, even in your sleep.

But at least his chest was warm. And he smelled like Anakin – your Anakin – and his arms were strong around you. Nothing was going to hurt you in this room. Not while you were with him.

After a long, long while, you were finally able to pull away a bit to gulp in multiple deep breaths. Your chest didn’t feel so heavy anymore, but now you were just exhausted – mentally and physically.

Rubbing at your sore eyes, sniffling, you mumbled, “‘M sorry, Anakin. I haven’t been avoiding you on purpose. Jus’ didn’t want you to see me like that.”

He sighed softly, shifting so that one of his knees was planted on the ground for balance. His hand traveled back to your face, smoothing the hair that got messed up back behind your ear. “You don’t have to hide from me. Ever,” his words were stern, but his voice was honey-sweet. “Especially not something like this.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he shook his head, eyes bright with intensity. “I want to help you, you know.”

Your lip quivered, nodding in understanding.

“Look at me?” he requested, gently directing your chin down between his thumb and pointer finger. You blinked at the ground for a moment before lifting your eyes, meeting his shining blue ones, filled with concern. His face softened as soon as you looked at him, the corner of his mouth tiling up a little. “There she is.”

“Hmph,” you ducked your head again, embarrassed. You’d never cried – truly cried – in front of him before. And now that the anxiety had been flushed from your system, all that was left was the shame.

You should be better than this, letting the emotion pierce you so deeply. Letting it get so bad. You should have had a better handle on it by now.

“Stop beating yourself up,” Anakin whispered, thumb swiping at your bottom lip to still the quivers. “You’re okay. I promise.”

You nodded again, obedient, but the more you heard the words the more they felt real.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked, head tilting to the side.

You shrugged. “Just work stuff. Family stuff. I dunno… just need to stop thinking so hard about everything, I guess.”

“Hmm,” he agreed. “Anything I can help with?”

“Not really,” you whispered.

“No?” his brows drew down, a little crease forming between them. “When’s the last time you ate something?”

“Mmm… yesterday.” Your stomach had been twisting and turning for days now, too nauseous to eat much of anything.

His frown deepened. “That was over 24 hours ago, sweetheart. When’s the last time you drank something?”

“This morning.”

You didn’t have to look at him to know what expression he was making. Letting go of your face, he dropped his hands to pull the both of yours apart, keeping them from twisting at each other any further. He curled your fingers into your palms, holding them warm and steady in his as he said, “How about I take you back to your room and make you something good, hm? Then you can take a nap, and we can watch a movie or something later tonight. Get your mind off everything?”

You finally lifted your gaze to him willingly, hopeful yet tired. “You’re not too busy?”

“‘Course not. I’m all yours tonight, no matter what,” his thumb rubbed patterns on the back of your hand, lips tilting up in another sweet, encouraging smile. “How’s that sound?”

“I– I’d like that,” you nodded your head, voice still too soft and quiet for his liking, but at least it wasn’t shaking anymore. “What’re you gonna make?”

“Whatever you want,” he insisted, hoping his smile would rub off on you. “What about that soup I made a while back? The one I made for Obi-Wan’s birthday? You really liked that, remember?”

“Oh,” you cooed, glossy eyes brightening a bit at the memory. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

“Okay, then I’ll make that.” He was still crouched before you, letting his eyes wander over your face for a moment more, thinking something you couldn’t decipher. Before you could ask, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your still-damp cheek.

“You’re gonna be okay. You know that, right?"

Your lashes shuttered, and strangely, the world didn’t feel so heavy anymore.

“Right. I’ll be okay.” You took a deep breath, sucking the air in and puffing it back out, breathing life into the words as they floated between you.

Before he could stand back up, you wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a gentle squeeze. “Thanks, Ani. I feel a little better now.”

You couldn’t see, but he was smiling into your shoulder. “Good,” he murmured, petting your back again. Then he pulled away and rose to his full height, grabbing your hand in his.

Neither of you cared if anyone saw as he led you out of the room, falling into step beside you as you headed home together.

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader fluff #anakin x reader #anakin x reader fluff #anakin #anakin fluff #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker x reader fic #anakin x reader fic #fluffy anakin #anakin x reader angst #anakin skywalker angst #anakin skywalker comfort #anakin x reader comfort

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iszaranothere · 1 year

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Dialogue prompts but they're things the GameGrumps have said

Struggling to start your scene? Having trouble writing dialogue? Don't worry, I've got you fam. I even sorted them into two catagories, a clean one and a more vulgar one, for your pleasure. If you end up using one of them, by all means tag me in the post, I'd love to see it.

Clean quotes

"And then I fired, and then I missed."

"The bananas has gone bad!"

"BECAUSE HE'S A GREAT KISSER! …Is what I've been told."

"I don't understand why the Chinese don't just use forks and spoons."

"Shutting down. Rebooting."

"There's so many places that aren't Andorra!"

"Jennifer dumped me."

"Did you point? Did you point? DID YOU POINT?!"

"Today is football."

"I'm gonna lay face-down on the radiator."

"Just what the heck is going on here?"

"UNAVOIDABLE CHIN MOVE!"

"The carbuncle ate itself."

"At age six I was born without a face."

"Great to see you again! You must die."

"I'm grapes!"

"Why did my dad birth me?"

"That's crazy. Especially since… who cares."

"I'm the video game boy! I'm the one who wins!"

"Bienvenue powerbottoms!"

"MY DAD WORKS AT NINTENDO!"

"With great confidence comes great wonfidence."

"Get bigger hands!"

"MORE ONION PLEASE."

"Why do I have to suffer in this meat prison?"

"That baby is not a baby, that is a jelly bean with a face."

"I HAS BRO! DO YOU HAS BRO?"

"JUST SOMETHING HAPPEN PLEASE."

Vulgar quotes

"I mean look at the way he slurps up his soup, what an asshole."

"Don't believe me? Look at my resume! Thirty years experience in jacking off!"

"MY DICK'S FALLEN OFF."

"If you shit in a bowl of rice crispies, do they go snap crackle poop?"

"Who needs a blue coin when you got a fucking mental breakdown coming in the back of your head?"

(sing-songy) "My asshole burns 🎶"

"I'm gonna pre dude."

"It's Clifford the big red stab wound."

"You think Sonic shits?"

"What's more in the spirit of Christmas than eating ass?"

"I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking murder your face, fuck you."

"I feel like I just came back from a mythical creature bukkake."

"Plump, sweet and begging for cream!"

"Isn't it weird how at least once a day your hand is touching your asshole?"

"GOD! IT'S SO HARD TO FUCKING FUCK!"

"I was the greatest load my dad ever shot."

"You think I came out of the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?"

"Oh, bump off you bumpin' grasshoe."

"I would fuck anything on this screen, including the animals and the bicycle."

"The only thing I bust are rhymes and nuts."

"Am I about to see your skyward sword?"

"WE WON'T LET THOSE FUCKERS TAKE THIS LAND!"

"I fucked a cantaloupe once."

#zaraisnothere #writing #dialogue #writing prompts #prompts #dialogue prompt #prompt list #writing ideas #game grumps #writing dialogue #writing prompt #dialogue tag #dialogue starters

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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Am I the asshole for storming out of the house

So I have been horribly depressed these passed few weeks. I haven't been this low and depressed in a long time. I've been very good about managing my depression and have way more good days than bad now.

These past few weeks though I have been rough. I have been working on taking care of myself though to get through this. My partner has been very concerned about me and doing his best to support me. However he has a hard time processing me when I am Depressed because he is still unlearning bullshit he learned growing up about mental health.

Cut to today. I noticed that he had left his leftover fast food out last night and my dog got into it. My dog has a very sensitive stomach and I knew that he would make some sort of mess. So I told my partner that if anything happens he needs to be the one to clean it up.

We left for a few hours and came back to a horrible mess. I had already explain on the way home that our outing had zapped my energy and that I needed to lay down again. Also with the knowledge of the earlier Conversation I didn't feel bad about asking him to clean up the mess. He got pissy though. He cleaned it and I can understand getting upset to clean up that mess. So I let him be grumpy in the other room as I laid down.

A few hours later we go to walk the dogs and I notice that he had dumped the mop water in the kitchen sink.

I went to talk to him about it to ask that he not do that in the future and ask him to clean the sink really well so no one gets sick. He retorts saying that the sink already needs to be bleached because there has been dirty dishes in there for a week.

I get pissed. I tell him it doesn't matter he can't do that. We can get sick. What if I didn't know that he poured the poopy mop water down the sink and then filled up the sink with water to do dishes?? Like we would get very sick. He stands his ground and just says again. We needed to bleach anyway.

This is where I might be the asshole.

I grabbed my keys and left. I'm not one for storming out because usually I prefer to talk. But I was so upset and also hungry because I hadn't eaten all day I knew I would be mean and toxic if I stayed home.

Am I justified for storming out? Should I have stayed and talked?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #unsanitary cw

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abybweisse · 3 months

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Ch210, Spoiler page and thoughts

The title page has been leaked already; I've seen it elsewhere here as well as on Discord. It's almost everything I was hoping for this chapter, represented in one image.

There are some things to point out, and I was hoping to post some thoughts before I'd even seen this spoiler, because my thoughts were already pondering a possible situation like this: that the chapter focuses on Finny going berserk... perhaps in ways we've never witnessed before.

I was also hoping we'd get the new reaper confronting Doll, but I really don't know if he will.

But back to Finny. In the cover art, you will see that there's a lot of blood on him and his clothes, but I don't think it's his own blood. His eyes suggest he's in berserker mode. I suspect we might finally get a better glimpse of what it was like the day he escaped from the drug facility. Previously, I'd wondered whether Sebastian had killed the staff and just skipped over the one remaining test subject -- either he lives or he doesn't. But since we now have a situation where Finny has to force his way out of another locked down facility -- and this time he's also trying to save friends and other children, something he couldn't do last time -- we might get scenes that look like a reenactment of that drug facility escape.

In ch209, we see Finny running off, away from Snake but also towards the approaching staff. We know he will have to fight them, and it might be mostly empty-handed. This is no problem for him, especially when he's in a frenzy. He might grab and throw whatever he can, but this time it might be more about crushing people with his hands, as he might have done at the drug facility. This fighting style could look more like Sebastian crushing the heads/bodies of bizarre dolls on the ship... but with less-graceful movements.

Scenario: He gets through the staff that have entered the underground lair, then anyone in the way upstairs, in the barn. Then he's back outside. Is he going to head to the main building to attempt to save the other kids, or will he only be able to focus on himself and the four top students? Either way, at some point he's going past a brick wall when lights shine on him, and that's what we see in the cover art. It might be a flashlight/torch, but it could also be a spotlight from a sniper tower. The top students did warn him before that the fences were reinforced, and that guards were stationed at lookout posts to shoot down attempting escapees.

When he was at the drug facility, he was being kept in a cellar of some kind, and it looks like it was designed so the kids couldn't easily climb out, but he somehow did, perhaps by jumping and grabbing hold of the rim of the hatch. Or maybe he somehow climbed up whatever grips he could reach. It seems he killed the man sent to shoot him and dumped his body down into the cellar. Here, Finny might actually climb up one of those lookout towers, kill the guards, and toss them down to the ground. Or he kills them -- maybe one -- merely by tossing them down.

This sort of action could allow Yana-san to give us glimpses of the previous escape in parallel to the escape scene now. Panels next to each other or even split panels, showing then and now, as it all unfolds. A bit like when he envisioned old scenes of the drug facility exam rooms and surgical equipment as he and the others looked around and found Ginny's body and the dissection table. But this time it might be like an onslaught of comparison images, representing the jumble of memories and current moments in Finny's head, as this all happens.

And we might even see him literally tear down the fencing. 🤔

Thoughts?

Oh, and FYI. Today is the Ides of March... and Snake's birthday (though in-universe it's Dec 9th)....

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #ch210 #black butler spoilers #kuro spoilers #kuroshitsuji spoilers #spoilers #finny #finnian #fol orphanage #orphanage #title art #title page #observation #thoughts #mar 15 2024 #ides of march

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vagabond-umlaut · 11 months

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ramé 6.0

love.

a word everyone spells as l-o-v-e, except one certain young sorcerer – to whom it appears h-a-p-p-y, to whom it appears h-a-v-o-c – to whom it appears the shape of the letters of your name.

you, on the other hand, forget how to spell when the same word is before you – a fact which, your admirer reckons, would have been a major problem were he not he – that is, were he not the one and only 'gojo satoru'.

and thus begins, the plan.

and thus begins, the six steps to catch one's crush's eye — by the six eyes.

|6/6| this isn't really a way. if you're at this step, just fuckin' stop and retreat. your crush won't ever notice you – you sad, pathetic loser.

[READ 1.0 HERE AND 2.0 HERE AND 3.0 HERE AND 4.0 HERE AND 5.0 HERE!]

▸ student!gojo satoru x student!reader; fem!reader; the promised sunshine ending to this work's finally here!! ft. the classic angst-to-tooth-rotting-fluff trajectory, the best four friends one can ever get, and, the sweetest romance between 'toru and shortie becoming official freaking-finally! [THE CHAP TITLE'S MISLEADING. OF SORTS. :))]

▸ sorry but i had to squeeze in a scene of shoko and suguru being the best drinking buddies ever. AND AND AND- jjk season two, my beloved-beloathed...

▸ find other parts of 'ramé' and other [stand-alone] fics set in the same universe as this work here! anyways, image, divider & characters ain't mine. pls don't plagiarize, translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️

"is that what you really think?"

gojo wonders if a momentous occasion as the one now deserves one brawl thrown into it or not. it won't be anything much; just dumping a bowl of soup down suguru's shirt and/or landing a pretty solid kick to his stomach and/or-

"careful, senpai or you might've to go home, bloody and beaten," the most monotone voice ever possible crashes into his thoughts in the worst possible way. a snicker, far too familiar, joins in. "yeah, nanami's right. besides, we haven't even clicked a pic yet. you wouldn't want to wear a black eye in it, would you?"

clinking his glass with shoko's, the white-haired watches suguru gulp down a shot of tequila, then give a mighty firm shake of his head. "no, of-fucking-course not. today is our dearest kouhai's important day; i don't wanna get involved in any drama now; though..." trailing off, the black-haired boy shoots gojo an awfully obvious side-glance before a look shared with the others.

the boy lets his eyes wander away from them. an abominably sharp acrylic nail pokes him in the cheek. gojo exhales a sigh, so exhausted.

were it just a day, the boy's certain to the hell and back, that he would have whipped up a snarky insult to the stink-eye aimed his way. the boy would have slapped his drunk classmate's hand away, calling her sense of fashion the worst names possible.

gojo, however, decides to resort to neither today. he decides to settle for a sigh - the second in the last minute, longer and wearier than the one before - and rests his face into the hollow of his palms, screwing eyes shut.

an exasperated grumble - or two, maybe - permeates the air.

"gojo senpai," the words ring out in a tone far too soft and worried. he muses he doesn't need to look to see the sympathetic frown haibara must be wearing, nor the varying degrees of pity and concern etched into the others' features. a warm hand squeezes his shoulder slightly.

haibara continues, "geto senpai is not entirely wrong, y'know? yes, of course, implying you might kick up drama is sorta wrong, i admit so. but otherwise... you could've tried to, i don't know, somehow find out the reason behind her sudden distance from you?"

opening his eyes, gojo twists to face his kouhai, ready to interrupt him, but stops at the earnestness in his gaze. "turning into a recluse or moping around isn't gonna solve anything, senpai. it's been more than a month since then and from what little i've seen, i can say it's eating the both of you alive. you, way more than her. so, go, speak with her," he urges him with a smile, "the others are not very well at showing their emotions but trust me when i say, we all are worried for you both, senpai."

the white-haired boy drags his gaze away from the speaker. suguru gives him a smile, shoko pokes him in the cheek again, nanami offers a fleeting impression of something smiley before looking away with a grimace.

gojo's eyes flit back to the encouraging boy before.

"okay," the upperclassman relents with a sigh, which instantly grows into a frown the moment every piece clicks into place in his mind and the goggles-wearing boy swears his heart skips a beat, "but what did you say about seeing shortie and know-"

stopping in the middle of the question, the boy stiffens.

three glasses shatter on impact with the floor, freed from the waiter's grasp, soon followed by two maids screeching your name in the most terror-struck voice ever manageable. gojo's six eyes provide him with enough details as always; albeit it seems miles from enough now, the way it always is in your case, further deepening the sorcerer's need to physically see you once; to soak in the brilliance of your gaze and the sweetness of the curve of your lips once.

who knows if he'll ever see you again from as close as- okay, no, wait-

"did you just run all the way here-"

"i love you."

"-in your heels?"

everything falls silent the moment the last word leaves gojo's lips and a shuddered breath escapes him into the bittersweet fragrance of the citrus perfume he remembers you using. in a lilac dress with a messy hairstyle and diamond studs, the youngest and newest leader of your clan stands before him, cheeks stretched in a wide grin.

whirling his seat round completely, the boy gives you one long look, only to earn a hauntingly soft look in return.

you smile.

"i know you might see me as the most inconsistent, lying, crazy bitch at best or as the most opportunistic bitch ever, trying to seduce you, for lack of a better term, to satisfy her craving for power, at worst; but no matter how you see me, how others see me, how i see myself - i'm in love with you, that's one thing which won't change no matter what."

you pause.

and as he watches you catch your breath after that long as hell sentence para, the first realisation which crashes on gojo's otherwise numb brain is: you too haven't changed.

not. one. bit.

from the way you stick to your minimal makeup look; to the way you speak sans any break and curse yourself as you confess to something (you think you did) wrong; to the way your gaze remains fixed on him, acutely trained on even the mildest twitch of his facial muscles... one whole month has passed since that stormy evening yet you're still the same you.

a little sweet. a little sour. a whole lot perfect-

who loves him-

you. love. him. too.

for the first time in an apparent eternity, gojo feels his lips lift in a free smile. although the chuckle leaving him sounds laden with moisture and emotions.

"i'll die before calling you a seductress, shortie," the boy says, "you're way too dumb and naive for that." your eyes move to the girl drinking beside him for a second, before settling back on him, a light sheen in them. smile widening yet growing a tender quality, he goes on to say, "and i know you aren't a liar; but regarding the inconsistent claim... i think an explanation's long overdue, isn't it?"

you huff a mild chuckle. stuffing your hands into your dress pockets, your senpai watches you draw in a long breath before letting it out in a whoosh, a tiny smile nestling in the corner of your lips. you begin.

"you know, right, my eldest brother was the clan leader before me? y'know, after my father just decided, one fine day, he's growing old and so he wants to retire somewhere peaceful now, with my mom, leaving me in the care of takeshi nii-chan and his wife?"

four pairs of eyes switch to him in silent query. ignoring them, gojo nods. it isn't everyday you speak so openly of your family, especially this topic concerning them.

considering how painful and sore it is for you.

how big of an escapist your father is.

how big of an asshole your brother is.

how utterly difficult it is for you to navigate in this household daily.

your sigh interrupting his thoughts, he hears you continue, "well, all was going well until it was not; and i decided i'd already spent too much time being a spectator to my life and future keeping getting kicked around like a fucking soccer ball."

few gasps sound in the vicinity, undoubtedly at you cussing. nanami's smooth voice cuts in through their shocked surprise, and through the bubble, gojo was under the impression, he and you had slipped into.

judging from the tiny start you give, the white-haired boy surmises you too must have felt the same.

your classmate's solemn voice sounds in the hush, though traces of a hesitation can still be found in it when he asks, "they... didn't arrange a wedding for you in the month you were here... did they?"

"they did," you're quick to answer, voice growing a steely quality, "the higher-ups and my brother decided to get me engaged to-"

"to whom?"

gojo's lips quirk up at the way you roll your eyes at suguru's impatient question, then look at him, a tired smile creeping onto your features. but, hey! is that a tinge of shyness on your face that the boy can see?

you point your chin at him. "to 'toru, who else?"

the second (or maybe, the third) bout of silence would have followed this statement of yours too - if not for the cackling girl beside gojo. the latter makes no effort to conceal his irritation, shooting the most vicious glare ever; shoko simply raises her glass, as if in a toast, then tosses you a smirk.

"you love him, still you don't wanna get hitched with him? not very clever of you, yeah?"

"yeah," haibara chips in, albeit much less teasing and more a worried timbre than shoko, the shades-wearing boy deems. the other student continues, brows creasing together, "plus, i doubt gojo senpai saying no to the proposal. so, why didn't you go ahead with it?"

your head tilts to one side. your lips twitch in a knowing fashion.

"you just said the reasons yourself, yu-kun."

years later, if someone asks gojo when's the time he realised he's in love with you, too deep and too far gone to ever consider anyone but you by his side, as his other and undoubtedly better half, the sorcerer will grin the goofiest grin ever and sigh the dreamiest sigh ever, and say, "every day."

which is the truth, really-

yet, from those 'every day'-s, there exist few such days, whom the six-eyes user's brain subconsciously frames in a golden frame and places on a dust-free pedestal.

for instance, today.

a day your senpai dreaded to begin by leaving the comfort of his bed, knowing the person whose ascension to the metaphorical throne he has been invited to witness today, blood chilling and condensing into tears on his lashes as memories from long ago and not-so-long-ago hurtle into his brain.

only to morph, by evening, into the day the boy realises: love isn't just what made him switch his infinity off and pull you under him, a shield to protect you from the crumbling roof, forgetting everything except your safety and life; but love is also what made you push him and the emotions within yourself away.

forgetting everything - the boy knows from knowing you these many years - except your very evident aim of shielding him from the vicious schemes of those responsible for this damned jujutsu hierarchy.

no matter how easy and rewarding the other path would've been for you.

no matter how difficult and painful this current path must've been for you.

just 'cause you love him.

just 'cause you know, at the end of it all, he's going to be safe, away from the manipulating hands of the higher-ups - away from even the slimmest chance of experiencing a shred of the ordeals you suffered as a child, losing your free will and living as a mere puppet, subject to those old geezers' whims and fancies.

the two of you are not-too-near to the threshold of adulthood; still, through those unsure lenses of transition between immaturity and maturity, gojo feels sure this very moment that his eyes are viewing now - of watching his feelings being reciprocated not only in words (which, he knows, are true; your body language is as familiar to him as the back of his hand) but also in actions - so pure, so selfless, so utterly... loving-

the boy reckons his six eyes have never landed on a sight so ethereal and just so good, that it makes his heart want to burst right out of his chest.

drinking in the way you're regarding him, fingers fidgeting and teeth gnawing on your lower lip, gojo cracks a smile.

your restlessness abates a little.

"you became the clan leader just to make sure this story remains ours and only ours, didn't you?"

you take a moment before answering with a big nod.

"yeah," you say, "but that doesn't mean you need to be grateful to me or anything of the sort. you can give me any answer you want to give. you can also give me no answer, now or ever, if that's what you really want to do. just know that i love you, and that your answer can never really put a dent in it, no matter what it is."

"no matter what it is?" your senpai echoes your words back to you. a small nod is what you send in reply; yet it seems to be more than the quantity of oil required to set the cogs of gojo's brain whirring to life and mischief. eyes narrowing, he asks, "not even if my response is an 'i love you too, shortie', hm?"

the clock in the room ticks thrice.

two known voices mutter curses behind him.

five maids of yours scurry out the door, whispering excitedly.

you narrow your eyes back at him.

"i asked you to not feel pressured, didn't i? tell me what you want to say, 'toru," you say; his name in your mouth sounds sweeter than the sweetest mochi the boy's ever tasted, "and not those stuff you think i want to hear you say."

your statement draws an amused chortle from gojo. "did you really forget what i told you last that day, shortie? or did you not again not understand what i was telling you then?"

"what's there to not understand in that!?" your indignant reply arrives without missing a beat, "you said you've always seen me as way more than a childhood friend: true 'cause we're best friends. then- oh yeah," with a click of your fingers, you add, face steeped in contemplation, "you also said- oh."

"yep, oh," gojo nods his head in an exaggerated fashion, revelling in the way you're looking at him right now, eyes round as saucers and cheeks ruddy as the expensive wine being served now.

you still seem so beautiful to him.

it takes a pinch more than a while before you breathe out a breathless giggle. straightening in his seat, gojo feels his cheeks hurt a bit from the wide smile digging indents into them.

"you really lo-"

"ma'am, the guests for the evening party will be here very soon. you should get ready now," one of your maids interrupts you. the sorcerer feels his smile shrivel a little. you're barely back with him; yet you'll be stolen away from him-

"aw, is it so?" your entertained query cuts in through his thoughts. the boy looks up from his shoes his gaze had moved to before, to you, an awfully fake apologetic smile lighting up your face.

gods, why do you look so fucking kissable when you're like this?

"you know what, the people invited aren't really the kind i want to talk to and ruin my mood. besides, i've already met 'my' guests, so..." the boy watches you inch closer to him slowly as you trail off; your maid's eyes narrow before widening. you grin. "toodles, mrs. matsui!"

that and the salute you throw at everyone in the room are the last two memories clear in gojo's mind, before everything turns into a mush of everything yet nothing in the end.

well, barring a few exceptions, of course.

your contagious chortles, for instance, while you both dash down the hallways of your mansion; or your delighted gasp when he wraps his arms round you and warps to that patisserie in nikko; or your million-watt-bright beam to him, as you slap the latter's sneaky hands away from stealing a bite from your plate, whilst the latter declares this to be where you two will celebrate the future milestones; or the-

"ieiri senpai was right, y'know?" your tired voice cuts in through your senpai's rather-muddled recollections. the latter tears his gaze away from the inky-black night sky dotted by the twinkling lights of tokyo, to your drowsy form resting her head on his chest, his one arm tight around your shoulders, while the other rests behind his head on the cold hood of the car.

moving to brush the strands of hair away from your forehead, the boy presses a kiss to the tip of your nose, earning a sweet kiss to his chin in return, and hums, "not really the person i wanna chat about right now with my girlfriend..." you suddenly twist your body towards him, throwing an arm over his stomach and nuzzling into his neck; making a mental note to address you as that more often, he sighs. "but carry on, i guess. you won't be you if you can't gush about that damn shoko every third sentence or something."

planting your lips to his jaw for a mere second, gojo watches you pull away an inch from him, grinning. "senpai said you'll be the first one to confess but i'll be the one who makes things official and public and all that shit," you explain, then gasp, grin turning wider.

"oh my god," you mutter, "geto senpai and iori senpai are gonna lose so much money to her. them two never thought you could ever say 'i love you' to me, did you know that? oh my god... i kind of feel bad for those two."

the gleeful expression you're wearing tells your boyfriend otherwise - choosing to ignore it, he throws you a smirk. "well, i don't. those two people shouldn't have doubted me. i'm the one and only gojo satoru," he proclaims, puffing his chest out a bit, "of course, I'll be successful in my mission of getting you to notice my love for you."

"nah, i don't think so," you shake your head the very next instant. lips into the most adoring curve he's ever seen on you - something which steals his retort away from him and makes him want to pinch his arm hard, to see if he's dreaming or not - you hum.

"you could confess your love to me, not 'cause you're gojo satoru. but because you're my 'toru and i'm your shortie... isn't it so?"

gojo thinks back to the time utilised in carefully drafting and finalizing the steps via which he can catch your eye, only to watch them not go the way planned.

gojo looks back to you, only to find your eyes trained on him, glitters of love in them unbelievably similar to those loud crackers bursting in his chest right now.

the young sorcerer runs a reverent finger down the side of your face.

"yeah, it is because you're my shortie and i'm your 'toru, sweetness," he whispers, "and we'll always stay this way, yeah?"

you reply by engraving the shape of your smile into his.

▸ AND MY MAGNUM OPUS IS OVER! 🥳🥳

▸ I GENUINELY HAVE NO IDEA ON WHAT I SHOULD SAY RN BUT I THINK I WANNA SAY ONE HELL OF A BIG THANK YOU TO EACH AND EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN WITH ME ON THIS JOURNEY SO FAR. 'TORU AND SHORTIE'S STORIES ARE LIKE, WAY FAR FROM BEING OVER, IG. BUT YEAH, THANK YOU SO SO SOO MUCH, PPL. I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH! 🥰🥰🥰

▸ series: we're the summer to our winter rain

▸ masterlist

#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #satoru x reader #satoru x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #gojo fluff #gojo angst #gojo fic #gojo satoru #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jjk fic #jjk fanfic #jjk #kit posts 📝

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silcoitus · 5 months

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Hiiiii! I absolutely love your work (as you may have noticed, but idk if I was vocal enough about it 🤔).

I saw you were answering asks with scenarios with Silco and I was thinking...I've been kind of down in the dumps lately and I'm really interested in your take how Silco would confort his s/o in such a situation. I live for hurt/comfort and it helps me tremendously and I feel like there is a criminak lack of such fics with Silco, but if you don't feel inspired, that's completely ok! Again, I really love everything you write, have a great day!

Thank you, Robin, for the request! And thank you for all your kind words today in my DMs. My heart is overflowing with all the love and support I've received today.

To be loved

Rating: Mature

Word count: 1.8k

Beta reader: none

Tags: Silco x gn!reader, soft Silco, established relationship, depression, fluff, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst, angsty with a happy ending

One more bad day after a series of bad days leaves you feeling numb and dejected. Getting out of bed seems an impossible task. But thankfully, your partner Silco knows exactly what you need to get you out of your funk.

Read on AO3

A/N: I have written so much smut lately, writing hurt/comfort is so refreshing. Also ngl I made myself tear up a bit while writing this and getting into the reader headspace. As a depression girlie myself, I've def had these sorts of days.

Taglist: @averagecrastinator @mazikomo @writingmysanity @insult-2-injury @ariaud @jennrosefx @ins0mniac-whack @steponmesilco @sherwood-forests @leave-me-alone-silco @givemebeansnow @aeryntheofficial @dreamyonahill @lostbunn @eurydicethesage @thepineapplesimp @whatisafandom @violet-19999 @juicboxd @sageandberries-png @delta-is-here @mutedwordz @fly-like-egyptian-musk @jennithejester @mrsdelirium @witheringblooddemon

Join my taglist!

#silcoitus #silcoitus writing #silco #silco x reader #silco x you #silco fic #arcane silco #silco arcane #silco fanfic #x reader #reader insert #reader insert fic #reader x #soft silco #silcoitus answers

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jungle-angel · 8 months

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I NEED 2. “I um… I made you dinner” with Rhett pretty please 🥺

My love, I've been thinking about this all day long, you don't even know how hard (lol).

"Alright, everybody put your chairs up on your desks and make sure you have everything," you told your fifth graders. "Bus students, you know where to go."

The wooden chairs and desks in your classroom clunked against each other as your fifth graders put them up, gathering their coats and backpacks from the cubby spaces and hooks in the back of the classroom. Thank God today had been a half day and that your main lesson block on math was finally over. You swore that if you had to look at another fraction one more time, you were gonna go insane.

"Mrs. Abbot!" chirped one of your students. "I think I'm missing my bus tag."

"It's right here Jaime," you told him, clipping the yellow tag to the top strap of his backpack.

Your students came to shake your hand and say goodbye before they left the room, heading to the front of the school to wait for the busses or their parents. Your phone suddenly began vibrating in your back pocket and when you saw the contact picture, you knew it was Rhett.

"What's up Grumpy?" you joked.

"You've still got a half day right darlin?" he asked.

"Yeah and I'm on my way to get Amy and Hannah, what's going on?" you asked. "Did another calf come?"

"Nope, I've got a little surprise for you."

You made a face, wondering what sort of hair-brained thing your husband had been up to, being home alone all day with Tatum and Tanner. "Alright I'll be home in twenty."

"See ya then sweet cheeks," Rhett replied before hanging up.

You headed out the front doors of the school and down the cobbled path to the early-ed building, the last of the fall leaves just having fell from the quaking aspens near the play yard. Out of all the buildings on the school campus, this one was by far your favorite.

You walked right through the creaky front gate and up the steps that lead into the building, the kindergarten class immediately on your right and the preschool one to your left. There were only a few kids left in Amy's class, most of them already having taken the bus home, but you knew that in less than a few minutes, they too would head for home.

"Amy, sweetheart, Momma's here," her teacher called happily.

Amy ran right to you, giggling up a storm as she threw her arms right around your waist. "You ready to go home?" you asked her.

"Yeah!" she chirped.

You thanked her teacher and let her grab her coat from the hallway cubbies while Amy proudly showed you the little symbol she had chosen on a painted stone to show that it was hers......a bull kicking up his back legs.

You gathered up Hannah from the preschool room and led the girls out to the dirt lot, loading them up in the truck and buckling them in before heading for home. It was only eleven-thirty in the morning, but the earlier you could get home and get everything out of the way, the better, seeing as you and Rhett had a long vacation to look forward to.

Finally you reached home and unloaded the girls, the two of them charging into the warm and cozy house to kick off their little fuzzy ugg boots and strip off their hats and coats to go play down in the basement playroom. Yet a rather spicy and enticing smell had started to waft from the kitchen and a fire already crackling away in the living room fireplace.

"You're home early," Rhett chuckled as he poured a little bit of milk into his coffee mug.

"Half day," you said, dumping your back on the hallway bench. "And thank God. Our math main lesson block is finally over and I don't have to worry about it anymore."

Rhett laughed again as he lifted the lid off the crockpot and filled the whole kitchen with a spicy and herby scent. "Is that my little surprise?" you asked with a sly grin.

"I um.......I made you dinner," Rhett said as his cheeks began to go hot.

"You made me dinner?"

"I'm not the greatest cook in the world darlin but....."

"Rhett, how can you say that?" you laughed. "You made a prime rib last Christmas that had your godfather begging for the recipe."

Rhett laughed a little bit. In all the years you had been married, you still thought Rhett was an excellent cook, no matter what.

All day long, you let the chicken legs cook in the crockpot until they were practically falling off the bones. You, Rhett, his parents and the kids all ate until there were no leftovers to be had, surprised and grateful by Rhett's sweet little gesture.

#rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #amy abbott #outer range

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heartfullofleeches · 1 year

Note

I am not sucrose anon but I am equally cursed and also a barista and I would like a coffee shop AU where reader owns a popular cafe using coffee sweetened with Sucrose fluids a la Sweeney Todd

I'm gonna drain the bitch

[Warnings: (candy) body horror if you squint. Reader commits a health code violation. (Does it count if they're a person made of pure sugar?) Either way, they commit some sort of crime against humanity and minors dni]

You smile at the next customer approaches the counter. "Hi, what can I get for you today?"

"Hello, can I get a cherry surprise frappe?"

You eye the door to the back, a blur of pink ducking behind the glass. "Oh, I'm sorry, but we just ran out of the main ingredient for that. It's one of our most popular drinks. If you can wait a minute, I'll run to the back real quick to grab another bottle."

Excusing yourself from the customer and the growing crowd, you head to the back. Recollections of your life before the sudden popularity boost of your cafe flood your mind as passive conversation buzzes around you.

"This is the best coffee shop I've ever been to."

"I wake up an hour earlier to beat the morning rush, but now it looks like I'll have to get up an extra thirty minutes before."

Such praise was but a fever dream for you until three short months ago. It's understandable for business to take a while to pick off when you're starting from the ground up, but almost a year in and no sign of major progress would damper just about anyone's spirits. All your troubles and woes changed that fate-filled day - when the kind baker from across the street offered you their special ingredients.

"Sucrose? You busy?"

A breathy, shaken trial at laughter comes from one of the counters; legs twitching at the note of concern in your voice. Busy - what a silly question to ask. As a model baker and business owner, Sucrose prided themselves in having fresh stock every morning and enough to last the entire day. Slaving through the night and lacking a need for sleep left their hands free for the more important things to do during the day, such as the task you'd dumped on them since your merge.

"hehe.. r...right here, gumdrop, same as always. Was starting to get a little long without ya.. Need my assistance?" Sucrose props themselves up on the smooth metal surface, melting, sticky thighs glueing them to place. You hand on their bare chest guides them to a full upright position, thumb and index finger rolling over their hardened buds.

"Not really, besides the usual. We ran out right in the middle of a rush so I have to make this quick."

Sucrose swallows, pinkish saliva trailing down their lips as their eyes fog over. "Y-yes, muffin. I'm still a little stimulated from the last few rounds, but anything for you..."

That drink really was only meant for you. Seeing their favorite human in trouble, Sucrose wanted to help out in the best way their sickeningly sweet heart could muster. Human emotion was still a new thing for them. They were bursting with so much love for that cute barista across the street that it came out in ways indescribable with words. Being sweeter than the average individual, they saw no harm in pouring their love into something to make you feel better, so they made their best attempt at iced coffee with the knowledge they picked up watching you. The look you gave them when you came back for more made it impossible to say no.

"It's almost funny really. I thought we had filled up two bottles alone last night, but they were empty before noon." Dropping to your knees, you roll the baker's apron and skirt up to their stomach, erection peaked and sprouting upwards free from the restrain of the tangled frills. The shaft was that same bubblegum pink as most of their body, head teetering on rouge. Teasing your tongue across the leaking tip produces more of that cherry flavoring so many had come love, but relief for the already frazzled baker was cut brief as you remember you had forgotten something. Sucrose picked up on your mistake the second you fell to the floor - producing a bottle with a funnel before you could go far. Their eyes avoid yours as another weak fit of laughter hits them.

"That... is definitely odd, haha. As you can see I've been in here all day so I couldn't possibly have had a hand in-..ah!"

While you'd love to hear their excuses, you have customers to get back to. Glossing your lips up their shaft as they spoke, you cut Sucrose's speech short as you part them slipping the confectioner's cock into the warmth of your mouth. Sweet as the cupcakes they're famous for, the taste of cherry taffy washes your taste buds coating the walls of your mouth sweetness as you pump your tongue in tandem with each bob of your head. Sucrose was completely over the edge with your speed and all the "preparation" they'd done while watching you from the window. Could there be any turn on greater than seeing your beloved hard at work, and hands deep in product of your own making.

"Oh.. Sweetheart, give a fiend a warning next time...aha.."

Sucrose shoves their apron so far down their throat they would've choked if they had the needs. In the same vein they could feel their cock hitting the back of yours, all willpower bled into keeping their hands on the counter and their moans to a minimum. The fans would cut out most of the sound, but they didn't want to risk anything that could jeopardize their time with you. Sucrose's lust would be the end of your already limited time together as their hands reach down to tangle in your hair. You brace yourself for what's to come by grabbing onto their leg and angling your head in a better position for the brute pace they'd set.

"Y/n... love you.." Throwing their free leg over your shoulder and around your neck, Sucrose fucks your throat as sweet nothing ramble on from their empty head. The whole reason they had gotten caught was due to a similar lapse of control. They wanted to surprise you with another bottle of their syrup and wanted it to be as fresh as possible, commiting their misdeeds right in the bliss of your bedroom. When you found them out, you weren't mad, nor as disgusted as they'd imagined. Why would you be? You're their wonderful little gumdrop who's taught them so much about the human realm. So sweet and addictive, just like the sugary concoction brewing in their loins. You were their everything. Perfection.

"Gumdrop, you're always so good to me... I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you, but I'll give you everything."

Sap-like fluid creating a slug trail down your throat, you tap Sucrose's leg to let them know to let go before it's too late. They pay no heed to your warning as their hips edge off the counter and your nose rides against their crotch; melting digits keeping you in place as they hold you under the force of their high.

"Take it... It's all yours. You're the only one who should be able to have this, but I let you share because I love you so much.. Yours.."

Sucrose rambles on as your palate is overtake by their taste. It's like a mixture of syrup and coffee creamer. That heavy, honey consistency with a creamy cherry filled softness. The type of flavor that was good in small quantities or paired with something instead of being pumped straight into your stomach like what was happening to you. Introducing your teeth to their flesh finally got them to loosen their grip. The pain only prolonged their orgasm, but Sucrose knew by now what that meant. They take the bottle from you and attach it to themselves as you head for the sink. The heat of your mouth melted their skin more to the point you were good on sugar for the rest of the week...or until they were unable to perform on their own again.

"All done!"

Sucrose proudly displays the syrup bottle on the counter beside you. A full eight ounce jar filled to the brim. They kiss you as you come up from rinsing out your mouth, reach back to squeeze your ass as their tongue catches the spit still clinging to the corner of your mouth.

"Make sure to watch your supplies more closely, Gumdrop. See you soon."

Sucrose wonders back to their side of the kitchen to figure out how to pour out the syrup again without you noticed as you head back out to the front - plucking taffy from your hair. After finishing the customer's order and handing them their change, they lean over the counter to whisper something.

"Um, hey, not to be rude, but you have something pink on your.. back pocket. It kinda looks like a handprint."

#happy april fools #They say despite starting this two days prior #Sucrose my oc #yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #yandere blurb #yandere drabble #yandere smut #yandere teratophilia #yandere nightmare #i put too much effort into this

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glaciertea · 2 months

Text

Masterlist here~

Tales the Songs Weave

Notes: Miguel is enjoying your presence with each passing day. Realizations is slowly creeping through.

Chapter 6: Tell Me that You Love Me...

Word count: 2.1K

Three weeks passed when you first officially hung out.

Six weeks when Miguel's “tabs” turned into genuine daily conversations ranging from text messages to phone calls that he never imposed on missing.

Nine weeks when things began to take a turn.

Over the course, you two have gotten closer. Miguel would sneak from his workstation over to your humble abode at any chance that was available.

It eventually became a routine, a regime. Wednesday nights were the ceremonial ‘hangout days,’ as you had every Thursday off.

And every Wednesday, Miguel had justifications on precisely why he should not be troubled on that particular day.

“I need to double check if the code for stabilizing dimensions is up to date.” Liar.

“I'm performing augmented machinery work for the portal watches. They've been malfunctioning for me.” Bullshit.

“I'm tired.” That was sort of true, but it never slowed him down before.

Whenever someone even attempts to debate or raise any doubts, he flares, defensively striking more so than usual. It became a phrase around the coven of Spider-people.

“Be careful; it's ‘Snappy Wednesdays’ for Miguel.” Would be telephoned throughout.

It vexed him to no end. If he wanted to remain unbothered, he should just be permitted to do so with no hassle. But no, it's never that easy for him. It was never easy until he crossed that threshold.

When he steps through your door, the stress and the unease lingers yet vanish. A strange balance.

“Are they still giving you hell about leaving?”

You poured the boiled noodles into a cauldron as Miguel was sprawled out on your couch, his sheathed claws harshly massaging his temples.

“Yes, and today was no better. I swear if I hear one more, ‘but are you sure you want to leave? It's a scary world out there,’ I'm going to lose it ¿Por qué tengo que ser uno para ponerlos todos? ¿Por qué me estoy plagando de estos idiotas?”

You peer up at the grouchy man and smile.

“I just don't understand why they're not used to it by now. I mean, maybe the first or second time it'll be weird, but the fifth or sixth? It's just a routine at that point. Or maybe that's just me. I can't speak for everyone.” You giggle, dumping the spaghetti in the meat sauce, and begin to stir.

“No, you're right. I just wish they would get used to it. Having to endure this shit is mind-numbing.”

You hobbled over to him with a giant bowl of pasta for him and a decent portion for you.

“Well, I hope there's some solace here. Even if it's just a smidgen.” You wormed your way right next to him before handing him his portion, crossing your legs on the sofa.

“Trust me when I say there's peace within these walls.” Miguel twirled the fork around.

“As peaceful as an apartment building can get, so a good forty-five percent.”

“Why so low?”

“Have you ever heard neighbors going at it in the middle of the night? I mean, they're certainly finding solace in each other! There's other factors, of course, but that's the biggest.”

A shared laugh broke out as you sighed in unison.

A comforting quietude rested; the only sounds being made were the clanking and clattering of the forks against the bowls.

“I've been meaning to ask, what's the name of the store you work for?” He filled in a little bit of space between you two.

“Huh, I never told you? I swore I did.”

Miguel shook his head.

“Guess I've gotten so comfortable around you, my brain assumes I did tell you.”

That rocked Miguel. You felt comfort in his presence? Was it an obligation or authentic? He disrupted that train of thought and briskly attuned his focus back to you.

“Alright, are you ready for the name?” You perched your dish on the table, relaxing your palms on your full belly.

“Sí, tan listo como siempre lo estaré. Go for it.”

“Adequate Antique Antics.”

Miguel's eyes flickered as his brain made an effort to process what you said.

“Adequate anti- what now?”

“Adequate Antique Antics. Bit of a tongue twisting mouthful, isn't it?”

He nodded in agreement, setting his bowl next to yours.

“Eso estuvo delicioso. So why did she name the store that?”

Your face heated at the compliment he gave you. He was just expressing that he enjoyed the spaghetti. Yet it made you giddier than how you normally would react.

“I'm glad you enjoyed it. And she didn't pick it–a family-owned business. You know how that goes.” Settling more onto the couch, minding the glass bowls, you prop your feet and free a displeasing sigh.

“She's been in a fight with her parents to change the name ever since I can remember. And oh my gosh, I'm still hearing about it until this day!”

Miguel blinked as he waited for you to continue. A week or so ago, he picked up on your facial expressions when you were done speaking.

And you clearly weren't.

“For nearly three and a half years I've been working there, she somehow manages to bring up the argument for the name every day without fail! And here I'm thinking I'm persistent, but my goodness!”

Miguel snickered at your heated explanation. “Ronnie sounds very vehement.”

“I prefer hard-headed. But that works too.”

You grin at each other as you pretend to readjust yourself, scooting closer to him.

“I'm weirdly tempted to meet this Ronnie and see what she's like in person.”

You blew a raspberry before flinging a hand over your mouth. You possibly got too comfortable around him.

Miguel lifted a brow at that reaction from you. He's never seen you do that before.

“Ah! I'm sorry! An atypical response I get sometimes. Just a slip of the tongue.” You cringed at the unintentional pun.

“I think it's adorable.” Now it was Miguel's turn to wince. The difference was that he hid it well.

You squirmed in your seat before mentally scolding yourself.

“Oh, thank you. That's very sweet of…”

You trailed off, gazing into his hypnotizing, vermillion eyes. Miguel returned the stare, taking in every part of your face.

Every inch, from your eyes, your nose, your lips, and more. How your skin gleamed–even if the lights were dimmed in your apartment, it still managed to make you shine ever so brightly.

Dazing back simultaneously, you both spun your heads towards the front. Your heart pounded so hard that even your stomach felt it. Miguel controlled his breathing, his cheeks heating up.

He couldn't. He shouldn't.

“Um, but yes, if you want to. Ronnie can be a bit of an intense menace, but she means well. Well, as well as one can mean.”

“That's how I feel about Peter.” Miguel grumbled. Even speaking his name causes him to instinctively grouch about it.

“From the stories you told about him, putting those two together under one roof?” You shuddered just at the thought of it.

“She can't be as bad as Peter.”

You gave Miguel a tentative look.

“It's that bad?”

You heavily nodded your head. “Minus the baby.”

“Funny how we both have someone who causes some sense of hassle.”

You gave a crooked smile. “It's a curse but also a blessing. Because at the end of the day, we know they just want the best.”

“For themselves?”

“Yes, but also in general. Though I don't fully agree with the methods she uses, Ronnie will always have my back. For example, if ever I need a day off for an emergency, I know I will receive it. Or when she told me I get every Thursday off. I was skeptical at first, but no, she kept her word. I only had to come in one Thursday because it was so heavily swamped, but I did not mind whatsoever. She goes out of her way to help me, and if she ever needs something, I'm willing to sacrifice to help her out. And I'm sure if you ever required anything, Peter would be there for you, and in return, you would do the same for him.”

Miguel could only gape.

“Heck, that even goes for us. Remember the first time you slept over? I told you I wouldn't let you suffer because you also helped me.”

You laid your head back and stared at the ceiling.

“Some may see it as a beneficiary sort of deal. I helped this person out, so I should get something in return. Even though we humans are very reliant on one another in certain ways, some can use it for selfish needs.”

You began to leisurely drum on your stomach.

“I personally like to think it's a give and give, with an occasional receive. Self-sacrifice? Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. I don't mind giving, but I'm also human, so if one is glad to lend more, then I'm going to return that favor, if not extra.”

Jutting up from your laid-back posture, you rotated your body toward him.

“I'm so sorry for the rambling. I hope anything I said made even a lick of sense.”

Your voice was slightly panicked before Miguel placed his hand on your arm, making sure to retract his claws.

“No, you're fine. I understood what you were alluding to.”

Your eyes landed on his fingers. They were calloused against your skin. He was always gentle around you.

“You aren't necessarily afraid to give and get nothing in return. But you're willing to go beyond and above for those who also have your best interests in mind.”

“Yeah! Wow, you summed up my spiel so easily. It might be that super duper smart spider brain.”

You giggled as his shoulders shook with a breathless laugh.

“Si. My spider brain is too highly advanced for many common people.”

You stared at him. He meant for it to come off as a joke. The problem was that his delivery was stern and dry. It almost sounded as if he suggested it as more of a statement.

He began to tighten until your face creased buoyantly. “It undoubtedly is for me. I'm going to assume jokes don't come easy for you?”

He slumped, and his jaw slackened. “I've been told I'm not funny.”

“You give me more sarcasm vibes than jokey ones. And I do enjoy a good sarcastic reply.”

You nudge him mischievously, garnering a joking eye roll.

You two carried on your conversation until, at one point, Miguel self-reflected while you went to the shower.

Miguel bit his bottom lip as his mind raced to the earlier conversation. He sacrifices, but does he self-sacrifice? He gives up so much for the others, but do they even acknowledge his efforts? He’s aware they won't do the same, but would it be different if it were someone closer?

It never crossed his mind how much he exactly does. The trillions that he's keeping safe. He's willing to let a few things go for them.

The one he truly wanted to keep safe is gone. He would be ready to give up everything just for her.

Miguel got startled as your voice sprang from the corner.

“You know what I was thinking–you should visit the antique shop! It would be fun to show you all the vintage items scattered!”

Sensing that there was something off, you sped over to him.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

Miguel bowed his head. “Yeah, I'm fine. Just lost in thought.”

“Well, if you ever wanna talk about it, just let me know, okay?” You rubbed his shoulder, kneading it some to relieve a bit of pressure. “Know I'm here for you.”

That smile. That tranquil, patient smile you give him makes his heart skip a beat. Those considerate sparkling eyes that have him believe things are okay, even if it's just for a split second.

Would he give everything up for you as well?

A string breaks loose.

He decided to not dwell on it anymore.

“What were you saying before you came in?” He smoothly switched the conversation.

“Oh! You should visit the shop. If you want to or have time, of course. We're open from nine until seven.”

“I'll try, but I don't know if I really can during the day.”

You swallowed your disappointment and waved your hand. “Remember, just an offer! I'll probably still be working there for the next few years anyway, so I'm sure we'll still get time in the future.”

He was shocked. You would still want to be around him? He doesn't believe he's particularly special.

And there are just too many wrongs within him that would turn anyone away.

“Yeah, I will see.”

You flopped yourself on the sofa as you proceeded to converse until Miguel had to leave.

“We will see.” He murmured, staring up at your apartment complex, and trudged away.

Ch.5<< >>Ch.7

#miguel o'hara #Tales the Songs Weave #miguel x reader #spotify #atsv #miguel fanfic #miguel o'hara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel x fem!reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #miguel o'hara x you #Spotify

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mostlysignssomeportents · 8 months

Text

Down in the (link)dumps

On September 27, I'll be at Chevalier's Books in Los Angeles with Brian Merchant for a joint launch for my new book The Internet Con and his new book, Blood in the Machine. On October 2, I'll be in Boise to host an event with VE Schwab.

Back when I was writing on Boing Boing, I'd slam out 10-15 blog posts every day, short hits that served as signpost and public notebook, but I rarely got into longer analysis of the sort I do daily now on Pluralistic. Both modes are very useful for organizing one's thoughts, and indeed, they complement each other:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

The problem is that when you write long, synthetic essays, they crowd out the quick hits. Back in May 2022, I started including three short links with each edition of Pluralistic, in a section called "Hey look at this" (thanks to Mitch Wagner for suggesting it!):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/01/reit-modernization-act/#linkdump

But even with that daily linkdump, I still manage to accumulate link-debt, as interesting things pile up, not rising to the level of a long blog-post, but not so disposable as to be easy to flush. When the pile gets big enough, I put out a Saturday Linkdump:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

All of which is to say, it's Saturday, and I've got a linkdump!

First up, a musical interlude. I've been listening to DJ Earworm's amazing mashups since 2005 and while I've got dozens of tracks that shuffle in and out of my daily playlist, the one that makes me wanna get up and dance every time is "No One Takes Your Freedom," a wildly improbable banger composed of equal parts Aretha Franklin, The Beatles, George Michael and Scissor Sisters:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaboIeW1A_4

I defy you to play that one without bopping a little. I think it's the French horn from "For No One" that really kills it, the world's least expected intro to a heavy dance beat.

Moving swiftly on: let's talk about fonts. I remember when Wired magazine first showed up at the bookstores I was working at in Toronto, and my bosses – younger men than I am now! – complained that the tiny, decorative fonts, rendered in silver foil on a purple background, was illegible. I laughed at them, batting my young eyes and devouring the promise of a better future with ease, even in dim light.

Now it's thirty years later and I'm half-blind. Both my my decaying, aging eyes are filmed with cataracts that I'm too busy to get removed (though my doc promises permanent 20:20, perfect night-vision, and implanted bifocals when I can spare a month from touring with new books to get 'em fixed).

Which is to say: I spend a lot more time thinking about legibility now than I did in the early 1990s, and I've got a lot more sympathy for those booksellers' complaints about Wired's aggressively low-contrast design today. I'm forever on the hunt for fonts designed for high legibility.

This week, Kottke linked to B612, a free/open font family "designed for aircraft cockpit screens," commissioned by Airbus. It's got all the bells and whistles (e.g. hinting) and comes in variable and monospace faces:

https://b612-font.com/

B612 arrived at a fortuitous moment, coinciding with a major UI overhaul in Thunderbird, the app I spend the second-most time in (I spend more time in Gedit, the bare-bones text-editor that comes with Ubuntu, the flavor of GNU/Linux I use). A previous Thunderbird UI experiment had made all the UI text effectively unreadable for me, causing me to dive deep into the infinitely configurable settings to sub in my own fonts:

http://kb.mozillazine.org/UserChrome.css

The new UI is much better, but it broke all my old tweaks, so I went back into those settings and switched everything to B612, and it's amazeballs. I tried doing the same in Gedit, but B612 mono was too light for my shitty eyes, so I went back to Jetbrains Mono, another free/open font that has 8 weights to choose from:

https://www.jetbrains.com/lp/mono/

Love me a new, legible font! Meanwhile, a note for all you designers: the received wisdom that black on white type is "hard on the eyes" is a harmful myth. Stop with the grey-on-white type, for the love of all that is holy. This isn't 1992, you aren't laying out type for Wired Issue 1.0. Contrast is good, actually.

Continuing on the subject of software updates: Mastodon, the free, open, federated social media platform that anyone can host and that lets you hop between one server and another with just a couple clicks, has released a major update, focusing on usability, especially for people unfamiliar with its conventions:

https://blog.joinmastodon.org/2023/09/mastodon-4.2/

Included in this fix: a major overhaul to how you interact with posts on servers other than your home server. This was both confusing and clunky, and the fix makes it much better. They've also changed how sign-up flow works, making things simpler for newbies, and they've cleaned up the UI, tweaking threads, web previews and other parts of the daily experience.

There's also a lot of changes to search, but search still remains less than ideal, with multi-server search limited to hashtags. This is bad, actually. Thankfully, we don't have to wait for Mastodon devs to decide to fix it, because Mastodon is free and open, which means anyone with the skills to code a change, or the money to pay techies to do it, or the moral force to convince them to do it, can effect that change themselves:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/23/semipermeable-membranes/

Case in point: Mastoreader, a great new thread reader for Mastodon:

https://mastoreader.io/

Every time that guy who owns Twitter breaks it even worse, a new cohort of users sign up. Not all of them stay, but the growth is steady and the trendline is solid:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/11/of-course-mastodon-lost-users/

It's the right call: while there are other services that promise that they will be federated someday, promises are easy, and there's world of difference between "federateable" and "federated." As GW Bush told us, "Fool me twice, we don't get fooled again":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/06/fool-me-twice-we-dont-get-fooled-again/

One big difference between the kind of blogging I used to do in my Boing Boing days and the long-form work I do today is the graphics. When you're posting 10-15 times/day, you can't make each graphic a standout (or at least, I can't). But I can (and do) devote substantial time to making a single collage out of public domain and Creative Commons graphics every day:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/25/a-year-in-illustration/

I am not a visual person – literally, I can barely see! – but my daily art practice has slowly made me a less-terrible illustrator. I got in some good licks this week, like this graphic for the UAW's new "Eight-and-Skate" work-to-rule program:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/21/eight-and-skate/#strike-to-rule

That graphic was fun because all the elements were from the public domain, or fair use. I love it when that happens. I've spent years amassing a bulging folder of public domain clip art ganked from the web and this week, it got a major infusion, thanks to the Bergen Public Library's Flickr album of high-rez scans of antique book endpapers. 86 public domain textures? Yes please! (Also, the fact that Flickr has one-click download of all the hi-rez versions of every image in a photoset is another way that it stands out as a remnant of the old, good web, not so much a superannuated relic as an elegant weapon of a more civilized age):

https://www.flickr.com/photos/bergen_public_library/albums/72157633827993925

Speaking of strikes: there are strikes! Everygoddamnedwhere! After 40 years in a Reagan-induced coma, labor is back, baby. The Cornells School of Industrial and Labor Relations' Labor Action Tracker is your go-to, real-time observation post as hot labor summer turns into the permanent revolution. As of this writing, it's listing 968 labor actions in 1491 locations:

https://striketracker.ilr.cornell.edu

There's no war but class war and it was ever thus. Brian Merchant's forthcoming book Blood In the Machine is a history of the Luddites, revisiting that much-maligned labor uprising, which has been rewritten as a fight between technophobes and the inevitable forces of progress:

https://www.littlebrown.com/titles/brian-merchant/blood-in-the-machine/9780316487740/

The book unearths the true history of the Ludds: they were skilled technologists who were outraged by capital's commitment to immiseration, child slavery, and foisting inferior goods on a helpless public. You can get a long preview of the book in Fast Company:

https://www.fastcompany.com/90949827/what-the-luddites-can-teach-us-about-standing-up-to-big-tech

Merchant also talked with Roman Mars about the book on the 99 Percent Invisible podcast:

https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/blood-in-the-machine/transcript/

If that's piqued your interest and if you can make it to Los Angeles, come by Chevalier's Books this Wednesday, where Brian and I are having a joint book-launch (I've just published The Internet Con, my Luddite-adjacent "Big Tech Disassembly Manual"):

https://www.eventbrite.com/o/chevaliers-books-8495362156

Where is all this labor unrest coming from? Well as Stein's Law has it, "anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop." 40 years of corporate-friendly political economy has lit the world on fire and immiserated billions, and we've hit bottom and started the long, slow climb to a world that prioritizes human thriving over billionaire power.

One of the most tangible expressions of that vibe shift is the rise and rise of antitrust. The big news right now is the (first) trial of the century, Google's antitrust trial. What's that? You say you haven't heard anything about it? Well, perhaps that has to do with the judge banning recording and livestreaming and not making transcripts available. Don't worry, he's also locking observers out of his courtroom for hours at a time during closed testimony. Oh, and also? The DoJ just agreed that it won't post its exhibits from the trial online anymore. You can follow what dribbles of information as are emerging from our famously open court system at US v Google:

https://usvgoogle.org/trial-update-9-22

If the impoverished trickle of Google antitrust news has you down, don't despair, there's more coming, because the FTC is apparently set to drop its long-awaited suit against Amazon:

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/ftc-poised-sue-amazon-antitrust-163432081.html

Amazon spent years blowing hundreds of millions of dollars of its investors' cash, selling goods below cost and buying up rivals until it became the most important channel for every kind of manufacturer to reach their customers. Now, Amazon is turning the screws. A new report from the Institute for Local Self-Reliance details the 45% Amazon Tax that every merchant pays to reach you:

https://ilsr.org/AmazonMonopolyTollbooth-2023/

That 45% tax is passed on to you – whether or not you shop at Amazon. Amazon's secretive most favored nation terms mean that if a seller raises their price on Amazon, they have to raise it everywhere else, which means you're paying more at WalMart and Target because of Amazon's policies.

Those taxes are bad for us, but they're good for Amazon's investors. This year, the company stands to make $185 billion from junk-fees charged to platform sellers. As David Dayen points out, Amazon charges so much to ship third-party sellers' goods that it fully subsidizes Amazon's own shipping:

https://prospect.org/power/2023-09-21-amazons-185-billion-pay-to-play-system/

That's right: as Stacy Mitchell writes in the report, "Amazon doesn’t have to build warehousing and shipping costs into the price of its own products, because it’s found a way to get smaller online sellers to pay those costs."

Now, one of the amazing things about antitrust coming back from the grave is that just the threat of antitrust enforcement can moderate even the most vicious bully's conduct. Faced with the looming FTC case, Amazon just canceled its plan to charge even more junk fees:

https://www.reuters.com/legal/amazon-drops-planned-merchant-fee-ftc-lawsuit-looms-bloomberg-news-2023-09-20/

But despite this win, Amazon is still speedrunning the enshittification cycle. The latest? Unskippable ads in Prime Video:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-09-22/amazon-prime-video-content-to-include-ads-staring-early-2024

Remember when Amazon promised you ad-free video if you'd lock yourself into shopping with them by pre-paying for a year's shipping with Prime? The company has fully embraced the Darth Vader MBA: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it further."

That FTC case can't come a moment too soon.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/23/salmagundi/#dewey-102

#pluralistic

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maccaronimassacre · 11 months

Text

2nd Resident Evil Bot Dump

C.ai has been insanely buggy recently meaning bot making has been a bit more tedious. Still, I've made some more which are a lot more experimental than my previous ones. Also I hate the way links look now. They look so bulky so now I'm just going to make the texts hyperlinks for the future.

Lycan!Chris Redfield x WHS!Reader

The mission went awry and now you and Chris Redfield are taking cover in a lodge as the waves of monsters come pouring in. One minute you two are fighting for dear life and in the next you are on the floor, barely conscious and hearing the faint sound of snarling and growling. Eventually, you come to and sit up to get your bearings. All the monsters are dead, except for one that is towering over you. Its yellow eyes piercing into your soul yet it makes no move to attack you.

Lifeguard!Chris Redfield x Reader

So you may or may not have underestimated the current’s strength when you decided to go for a swim. One minute you are frantically gasping flailing for air and in the next minute you are being pulled back to shore by a lifeguard. A very handsome lifeguard. "You okay? You had me worried there, I thought I was going to have to give you CPR." He grins, showing off his pearly whites. Despite his calm demeanour, he looks down at you concerned. "Try and be more careful, alright?"

Professional Boxer!Chris Redfield x Personal Doctor!Reader

After a close match, Chris Redfield managed to win another boxing tournament. Unfortunately instead of celebrating and drinking until the sun comes up, the two of you are sat on a small bed in Chris’ apartment. While you tend to his wounds Chris admires his new trophy, already picturing where he is going to put it amongst the rest of his trophies. "So, did I give you a fright back there?" Chris gives you a cheeky grin and attempts to wink with the one eye that isn’t swollen shut.

Knight!Chris Redfield x Heir!Reader

The suns gentle rays shine through the small gap in the curtains, signifying a new day in your life as the heir to the throne. Your joints pop and crack into place when you stretch and rub the sleep from your eyes. Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door. A familiar voice comes through from the other side. "Are you up yet?" The door opens revealing your personal knight, Chris Redfield, already dressed in his armour with a grin on his face.

Vampire!Ethan Winters x Reader

After your colleague and close friend Ethan Winters stopped coming into work weeks ago and went completely radio silent, you decide to go and visit him. What you weren’t expecting when you stepped inside is for all the curtains to be shut and the lights to be off. As you walk further into the house you notice that all the mirrors are covered and there’s a faint smell of iron in the air… Before you could investigate this any further you feel a hand on your shoulder.

Florist!Ethan Winters x Reader

The bell by the door chimes as you step inside the small flower shop. It’s quite cozy and filled with all sorts of flowers of different colours and types, basking in the sunlight that covers the room in a warm gentle glow. You can hear a man humming softly to himself as he makes a bouquet. He stops and places the bouquet down when you walk in. "Welcome, how can I help you today?" His hazel eyes sparkle and he gives you a warm smile as he wipes his hands on his apron.

Bounty Hunter!Leon Kennedy x Reader

Leon walks into the bustling bar, making his way through the rowdy tables before settling at the counter. He gives you a small nod, signalling that he wants a drink. As you approach him he slides a bloodied amulet on the counter towards you. "I believe I’ll be taking my reward." A small smirk curls at his lip as he motions to the bounty’s wanted poster on the board before looking back at you with an intense stare. He waits for you to take the trophy, the clear mark of his skill.

Motorcycle date with Leon

After being badgered and pestered by Leon for weeks, he has finally convinced you to ride on his motorcycle with him. "Don’t worry, I promise you won’t fall off." Leon grins and sits down on the bike with his hand outstretched towards you. "You can hold onto me as tight as you want." He winks before handing you a helmet and putting one on himself. Even with the visor covering his face you can picture the shit eating grin and the mischievous glint in his eye.

Leon Kennedy x Mechanic!Reader

As a mechanic you are used to seeing vehicles in all sorts of conditions. Yet standing in front of you is a man that manages to blow you away every single time. Leon glances over to you with a grin and his beaten up motorcycle in tow that you literally just fixed up a couple of weeks prior. All you can do is raise an eyebrow and sigh. You can’t help but wonder what the hell this guy is doing for his bike to be so battered and abused. How does he still have a license?

Resident Evil Bot Masterlist

#ethan winters #ethan winters x reader #chris redfield #chris redfield x reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil

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taruchinator · 1 year

Text

🌹 General Audiences

🌹 5k Words

🌹 Written for the Grab A Slice TMNT Bang!

Leonardo Hamato had a crush on Yuichi Usagi.

This was a fact the teenage turtle had struggled with admitting to himself for a while now, mostly due to both his underlying insecurities, as well as never being a fan of the cliché lovesick feelings that a crush brought with it.

Yet after many long and awkward conversations with April— the only person he knew wouldn't make fun of him since his brothers would definitely never let him live this down— about what the heck was one supposed to do when they felt these sort of things, Leonardo Hamato came to the grand resolution of confronting his feelings head on!

Hey guys, Alice here! Today I come bearing my first ever ROTTMNT fic and its made specifically for the Grab A Slice Bang on Twitter!

I've been looking for the opportunity to make something sweet and fluffy with my Leosagi headcanons and now here we are: the brainriot ACTUALLY paid off!

And most importantly, this fic features artwork but lovely artists who helped in bringing it to life. The first one being by @jordyn-jpeg and the second one by @dont-throw-sand! Please go give them a follow!

Leonardo Hamato had a crush on Yuichi Usagi.

He was a flirty guy, absolutely. But that was never meant to be taken seriously. It never meant to become real— To let him be vulnerable.

Meeting other Yokai such as himself and his brothers was always a treat for him, since it gave them a sense of belonging in an otherwise hostile world. But there was always something different about Usagi that set him apart from the rest of the inhabitants of the Hidden City.

Despite having a rocky start after meeting at Run Of The Mill Pizza— his brothers finding the bunny holding Señor Hueso with a katana to the throat as he interrogated on a matter that turned out to be a misunderstanding on Usagi's part, but still left some rather nasty first impressions of each other— the duo ended up finding common ground rather quickly.

Usagi was a farmer boy who wanted to become a samurai just like his ancestor, and as such his grandmother suggested he travel to train in the Hidden City. This very much matched Leo's own goals of becoming the strongest ninja just like Lou Jitsu. And even though Usagi was taught that ninjas weren't to be trusted, he was quick to open up to Leo and the others after realizing the kind of people they were.

There was also the fact that they shared a similar sense of humor. Whenever Leo told a joke and everyone groaned in annoyance, the rabbit would snort, and even retort with a cringy comeback of his own.

They both liked exploring what the human world had to offer.

They each cared deeply for their families, and would do whatever it took to protect them.

Heck, they even had the same goofy and reckless personality that had others wondering if they needed to be watched over.

Leo found all of this to be part of a great friendship, which was why the realization of his true feelings was like a bucket of ice cold water dumped over his head. Although technically he didn't come to this conclusion on his own.

One day in the lair, the turtle brothers were getting ready to start one of their infamous skateboarding tournaments, taking full advantage of their day off. But as soon as they were about to begin with wheels at the ready, the blue ninja got a text message. It was from Usagi, who promptly reminded him of their previous arrangement to go shopping for new training clothes, if he wasn't busy.

Mikey inquired if they could get back to the fun, only to have Donnie utter a sentence that would leave Leo's blood running cold.

“He can't. Leo has a date with his boyfriend, so we're going to have to make do with a player short.” His voice sounded nonchalant as he said this, which only angered the twin further as he felt heat creeping over his face.

“He's NOT my boyfriend! And you guys better wait for me or else everyone's getting a mustache in their sleep!” Despite trying to sound semi threatening, his voice gave way and the others merely looked at each other with smirks gracing their features. After stomping a few obstacle courses on his way out, Leo huffed in annoyance at the pink in his cheeks that just wouldn't go away.

He tried to brush it off as one of his brother's regular shenanigans to get under his skin, but it was almost as if a switch had been flipped in his brain and certain thoughts began to arise.

Like how he never noticed how darn cute his rabbit friend actually was. Everything from his little pink nose, to the softness of his fur, to the way his eyes would lit up in excitement at the mention of ancient ninja/samurai history.

Or how selfless and kind he was to everyone around him, no matter who they were or how they treated him— be it Yokai or Human alike.

Small details that Leo either took for granted or simply never took the time to pay attention to. And it all had his stomach doing backflips that left him breathless each and every time.

As such, after many long and awkward conversations with April— the only person he knew wouldn't make fun of him since his brothers would definitely never let him live this down— about what the heck was one supposed to do when they felt these sort of things, Leonardo Hamato came to the grand resolution of confronting his feelings head on.

Operation ‘Rabbit Conqueror’ was in full swing! What could possibly go wrong?

Leo's first attempt was something simple.

He wanted to get his feelings across in a subtle yet charming way, his specialty for sure.

As such, he decides to invite the bunny boy over for a night of Lou Jitsu binge watching and pizza galore, and makes special note of doing this when no one will be home. Splinter has gone out to discuss some important stuff regarding their mystic powers with Draxum, while his brothers go to April's for a sleepover, which they hadn't done in a long time.

Leo turns down the offer saying he already has plans with Usagi in the city, which April already knows about and actually offered herself to help in the blue ninja's plans by keeping the others at her apartment. Raph in particular finds it rather odd, but doesn't question it.

“Mikey just plugged in the console on the TV. They'll be here a while ;)” April's text quickly flashes across Leo's screen, leaving a small smile on his face. He'd have to properly thank her later.

“I still can't believe the others didn't wanna join us. You sure you don't wanna wait in case they can make it?” Usagi's voice brought Leo back to reality, which caused him to turn and look at the rabbit who was already getting comfortable in his seat on the couch, yet held a questioning look in his eyes.

Quickly pocketing his phone, the blue ninja chuckled as he approached his friend. “I already told you it's fine! They've already seen this one like, a gazillion times! Plus they'll take blowing up alien tech over staying at home any day.”

Leo told Usagi that his brothers were out testing new technology that Donnie had cooked up thanks to the weird advancements from the Krang invasion. Why wasn't Leo with them? Because he was tired after a week of non stop patrolling and he just wanted some time to chill with his favorite fur ball.

“So then, my good sir! Why don't we start the evening with a delicate cuisine from the finest restaurant in all of New York?” The turtle then proceeded to pull out a box of pizza from Señor Hueso's seemingly out of thin air, placing it gingerly on the plastic table in front of them. Usagi's expression quickly lit up, but the moment he reached to grab a slice, Leo's hand gently swatted him away. “Ah ah ah! Patience, my friend. We cannot have the ultimate pizza experience without soda! What kind of monster do you think I am?”

Rubbing his hand in fake annoyance, the bunny boy rolled his eyes with amusement. “Man you're obsessed with this stuff, I hope you're aware. Might even need medical attention. Just hurry up, I'm starving!”

With a wink, Leo quickly made his way to the kitchen where their bubbly beverages were waiting.

The plan was simple. Ahead of time, the blue ninja had written something on the inside of the pizza box's lid. He tried thinking really hard on a good pick up line that best showcased his abilities as a comedian as well as flirting, which ultimately led to something straight out of a bad romcom— ‘I know it's cheesy, but would you go out with me? <3’

The line made him giggle aloud as he was serving up the drinks. It was so perfect yet so stupid, all in the best way!

As soon as he gave Usagi his drink and let him open the box, the samurai would surely swoon and find himself a blushing mess in an instant. Or at least that was the plan, since the idea of those soft fluffy cheeks going pink in embarrassment brought a goofy smile to the blue ninja's face.

Yet that fantasy was shattered the moment he heard noises coming from the living room.

Not really knowing what to expect, he made his way over with the drinks in hand to see what the fuss was about, only to have his stomach drop in an instant.

“Yo, Leo! Why didn't you tell us you guys were watching Lou Jitsu without us? We would've come back sooner!” Raph spoke with a mouthful of pizza as he lounged on one side of the couch.

“Well I guess Leo didn't wanna interrupt your fun. I'm glad you could make it, though— the more the merrier!” Usagi, as clueless as ever, spoke with a smile on his face as he held a slice of pepperoni in his right hand. Confusing the blue ninja's disappointment with confusion, he responded. “They came in a few minutes ago. I'm surprised you didn't hear them!”

“Guess I was stuck in Usagi land…” Leo thought in despair. Trying not to let it show on his face however, he turned to Donnie, who sat cross-legged on the floor with cheese dribbling on his fingers. “I thought you guys were gonna stay at April's.”

“Yeah, her mom ended up coming back from the hospital earlier than planned. So we had to reschedule. Angelo! Any more salami over there?” His twin spoke nonchalantly yet again and quickly changed the subject to more pizza as he turned to their youngest brother.

Mikey, who sat right in the middle of the couch and next to Usagi, replied with a hint of guilt as he sported a sheepish grin. “Sorry, Dee! Got the last one… Oh! Don't worry Leo! I saved you a slice!” As Mikey waved the aforementioned slice in the air for his brother to see, Leo's eyes immediately went to the discarded pizza box on the floor, stomped on and totally wrecked from the massacre.

A buzz in his pocket followed soon after, which he fetched only to find a single text from April looking back at him. ‘My mom didn't get called on overtime after all. I'm sorry :(’

Attempt #1 for Operation ‘Rabbit Conqueror’ was a bust.

Despite the obvious disappointment at his plans being fouled over, Leo didn't let it deter him in his quest. Second attempt!

There were so many different ways someone could confess their feelings to another. And the next one on his list was the wonderful art of gift giving.

There was always something about Usagi getting him small gifts that left Leo completely entranced. They were always simple things like charms or trinkets he'd find in the market that reminded him of the turtle, but it was clear from all of that that the bunny boy was someone who appreciated a good present.

Which was why this time, he ended up enlisting the help of his father for this particular task.

Usagi had commented how he'd been looking for a new training sword for a while, complaining that the one he currently owned was one he had since he was a child, and as such, had seen better days and didn't quite have the strength he was looking for. On the other hand, the ones he did find being sold in the Hidden City were either extremely out of his price range or simply not well made for a samurai.

Enter Hamato Yoshi, AKA Lou Jitsu, AKA his father, who may not be one of the most exemplary ninjas out there, but he was trained in the arts of one, and as such knew everything of basic skills such as that of forging a sword.

Which was why the blue ninja immediately begged Splinter to help him in crafting a basic sword to give to his beloved. The rat man found the request extremely odd and out of character for his son, but took it as an opportunity to bond with him, so he didn't question the need for a new sword when the ones he currently had worked perfectly fine.

With the shiny new sword now in his possession, Leo was quick to prep it all nicely with a bow. He'd give it to Usagi during their weekly training spar, ask him to be his boyfriend and live happily ever after. Simple!

“Come on, Usa! You can do better than that!” Leo easily evaded the rabbit's swing to his left, counter attacking with a swing of his own that quickly got blocked.

“You're one to talk! I know when you're going easy on me, Hamato. Afraid of showing what otherworldly powers you're hiding?” Usagi was a fun opponent, since he never backed down from a challenge and was quick to match Leo's taunting with his own. He arched his eyebrows with a sly smirk, which had no right in being as sexy as it was.

With a slight blush dusting his cheeks which he hoped came off as exertion, Leo chuckled as he lowered his weapon, panting and reaching for a bottle of water for himself and his partner. “Didn't think trying to be nice would be considered going easy on someone. Let's take five! I'm sure we both need it…”

He then tossed one bottle to the bunny boy, which he was able to catch easily. “Fine… But we're settling this today! No more ties!”

As Usagi started chugging down on his drink, Leo turned an eye to look at the new sword which was still hidden on the other side of the tunnel they were practicing on. It actually blended well and could come off as Mikey's graffiti if Usagi ended up locating it.

Everything was going according to plan! No one to distract him from his goal!

Or so he thought.

“Leonardo. I see you've brought company…”

A soft female voice echoed through the tunnel, quickly bringing both boys out of their resting and into battle positions with one back against the other. Both had raised their swords and started looking back and forth for the source, only to be met with a giggle.

“I apologize. I didn't mean to frighten you. Perhaps I should've made myself present earlier.” It was then that Leo really took a good look at his surroundings. A faint glowing green figure began to emerge before him, and the moment it started to take form, he immediately lowered his guard and couldn't believe the luck he had. “Gram Gram?!”

Oroku Karai stood before him, a warm smile plastered on her face as she nodded in greeting. “It is good to see that you're doing well.”

After the fight with Shredder, the turtles thought that they'd never get to see their beloved ancestor again. For months during their recovery they mourned her, yet one day she miraculously appeared before them as a spirit, which brought everyone in the family to tears.

The best explanation that Splinter could come up with was now that Oroku Saki no longer existed in any plane, Karai had been freed from her curse and tie to the Hamato clan, which turned her sacrifice null and allowed her spirit to remain in the teapot that was once connected to Shredder's soul.

And despite being able to move on and go to the spirit world, the fierce warrior confessed that she yearned to be with the family she never got to meet, hence being able to stay with the living.

Leo was ecstatic about this fact, and his Gram Gram was someone he loved talking to whenever his brothers annoyed him or April wasn't available.

He loved her, and yet her timing couldn't have been any worse.

“Wait! Y-You-re… Oroku Karai! Daughter of the Shredder! And Leo's great great grandmother!” Usagi's nerd instincts kicked into high gear, as he looked at the woman in awe with his weapon discarded on the ground. “My grandmother told stories about you along with those of Miyamoto Usagi! You're a legend and staple of ninja history!”

Karai looked over at the bunny boy in surprise, but then allowed herself to laugh at his words. “I would not consider myself a legend, but thank you for your kind words. As for Miyamoto Usagi, he was indeed a powerful ally and a wonderful friend…”

“You.. You knew him?” Usagi asked with sparkles in his eyes.

Karai nodded with a smile. “We fought together a handful of times, yet his heart always showed to be pure. If you'd like, I would be more than happy to share some stories.”

“That would be great! Thank you so much! I should probably get more water though, we've been training all this time so we're kinda dehydrated- Anyway this is a huge honor!” Without even sparing Leo a glance, Usagi bowed and quickly left to the kitchen to bring more drinks.

Gram Gram walked over to Leo and smirked, a knowing twinkle in her eye that indicated she had secrets to share, yet would never tell. “He seems like a nice boy. I hope you remain good friends.”

Leo groaned in frustration and embarrassment as he covered his blushing face.

Attempt #2 for Operation ‘Rabbit Conqueror’ went down the drain.

This time, the blue ninja was not holding back.

His third attempt would be the biggest and most extraordinary display of affection that even the Yokai down the street would know of his affections for the rabbit samurai.

All of his previous failures had two things in common. They were at his home where distractions could occur at any time and were trying to remain subtle. But this time he wouldn't be home, and he'd be anything but subtle.

With lots of begging and promises to Señor Hueso of washing the restaurant's dishes for a month, Leo was able to get himself and Usagi a fancy table at Run Of The Mill Pizza. Candles were placed, lights were dimmed, and even music was provided to make the atmosphere as romantic as possible. Señor really knew how to make an impression.

With a romantic dinner at his side, Leo was going in guns blazing. He would go in, have a wonderful time with his crush, and confess at the end of the evening after buttering him up throughout the whole date. And yes, this was meant to be a date.

And Leo was sure to make that point very clear.

“Since when do you like having pizza on dinner tables? I thought you said grease tasted better on booths.” Usagi was trying his best to be as casual and carefree as the duo usually was when they came to Señor Hueso's, but it was clear that all the fancy stuff around him was getting a little distracting.

When Leo had told him he wanted to have dinner that night, Usagi had assumed the usual— either chaotic dinner with his family or the usual pizza palooza they enjoyed at Run Of The Mill. And well, he was partially right.

Leo placed a hand against his chin, leaning with a smirk gracing his features as he looked at his companion in a way Usagi had never seen before. “Oh, well you know how it is! You go big or go home when you're taking someone lovely out for dinner. Can't have none of that basic stuff when you're on a date.”

Pink quickly dusted over the bunny's cheeks, and Leo had to hold back his squeal over how adorable he looked. Just as adorable as he'd imagined, which meant things were going according to plan. Usagi forced a chuckle as he started fiddling with his thumbs. “Right… a date. Good one, Leo! S-So! We having the usual or…?”

The blue ninja was taken aback by the change of subject, but tried to regain his footing as he grabbed the couple's menu that Señor had provided for them. “You know, I'm not really in the mood for pizza. What do you say we go for the Italian pasta bowl? It says here it's perfect for two~”

Usagi only then noticed his own menu, and proceeded to look for the dish his friend was suggesting. He raised his eyebrows in confusion, but didn't seem to protest. “I mean… I'm not the biggest fan of spaghetti, but… you never know unless you try, right?”

“Exactly!” Leo closed his menu and ushered one of the waiters in their table's direction. “One Italian pasta bowl, please! Make it ‘Lady and the Tramp’ style, for me and my date here.”

The waiter nodded and left, leaving a confused Usagi and a smirking Leo at the table. “You're the Lady, by the way. And I, am but a mere humble Tramp…”

“Leo!” Usagi spoke up a bit louder than intended, but it was effective in getting the blue ninja to snap out of whatever he was doing. With a deep inhale, the bunny scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry, I didn't mean to yell… Look, I appreciate all of this, I really do! Going out of your way to plan something like this for us must have taken a long time. But… I prefer when we get to sit in our booth and just laugh at whatever lame joke we come up with.”

“W-We can still do that! I thought I was cracking jokes, you know?” Leo tried to play it off, but Usagi's stern look quickly deflated his efforts. “I mean… I just wanted tonight to be special.”

“But why?” The rabbit samurai scooted a little closer and placed one hand on top of Leo's. The softness of his fur was enough to get the turtle's skin to tingle. “You've been acting weird for a while. I didn't think much of it at first because well, you're you. But after this… I can't help but wonder if something's going on. Is everything okay?”

As Leo looked into the other boy's eyes, he found nothing but genuine concern for him, and it only squeezed his heart in a painful way.

This was it.

He had to tell him, or else he'd keep worrying about him.

Taking a deep breath, he held Usagi's hand between his own and felt his face heating up. “The truth is… Usa- Yuichi. The thing is… I-”

And almost as if the universe was mocking him at this point, the door to the restaurant was forcefully shoved open, causing other customers to stare in confusion.

Hypno stood in all his ugly hippopotamus glory along with Warren, the little worm creature perched atop the other villain's shoulder as he waved a paper bag in the air in what could only be compared to a child's tantrum. “You forgot my guava sauce, Hueso! I order the same thing every Tuesday night!”

“If my roomie doesn't get the respect he deserves, then perhaps you need a bit of a reminder on who you're dealing with!” Hypno used his raw strength to pick up a nearby table and started throwing it around to cause commotion.

“Give me a frickin break…” Leo couldn't help but mumble under his breath. Letting go of his date's hand, he went to reach for his katanas. Usagi wasn't far behind, bringing out his odachi and taking a stance.

As the duo began their fight, Leo was aware of the looks Usagi kept glancing his way, and there really wasn't a way for him to stop and say anything in return.

The third attempt was most definitely the worst.

It had been about three weeks since Leo's last attempt at Run Of The Mill Pizza.

Usagi didn't pry again, but Leo knew that he was still worried about him. Regardless, the blue ninja decided the best course of action at this point was to just ignore. He pretended like the past couple of months didn't happen, and did his best to go back to his goofy and prankster self, while also treating the bunny boy the same as usual.

Or at least, he tried to.

There was no denying that he treated Usagi differently now, and may even be avoiding him on an unconscious level.

But could anyone really blame him?

He'd pretty much made a fool out of himself in front of the boy he liked and now even had doubts he never considered before. Like what if Usagi didn't like him back? What would happen if Leo confessed and it ruined their friendship? What if he lost him forever, all because he couldn't get over a stupid little crush.

So that's what he was planning to do. Try and get over it.

So far it wasn't working.

He and Usagi had been assigned a specific part of the city for their monthly patrol. The other turtles were somewhere else, trying to cover more ground for any crimes that could be occurring. But of course, it was the one night New York decided to be peaceful and not have anything going on.

Silence hung between the two Yokai, and honestly Leo preferred it that way. Well, more like he preferred the silence to having the bunny boy be interrogating him. He'd much rather the two of them be talking like normal. Listening to the other laugh. Knowing that he was the one who caused that.

After rounding the same corner for the fifth time, Leo thought it would be a good idea to call it a day.

But before he could even utter a sentence, he turned to look at his companion. He stood awkwardly in place, fidgeting and turning from one place to the other. Almost as if he was… nervous?

“You okay, Usa?” Leo asked suddenly, which caused the samurai to jolt in response, but quickly forced a smile as he chuckled lightly. “Y-Yeah! Never been better! Why you ask?”

This time Leo was the one who gave him a stern look, and all Usagi could do was sigh in response. “It's just… I wanted to ask you something. B-But I don't wanna upset you!”

“Here it comes…” Leo braced himself for the interrogation that was long overdue. He'd just tell him he had the flu or something and that was the reason why he'd been acting so weird for the past few months. Trying to give him a reassuring smile, the blue ninja replied. “Come on, Usagi. It's me! Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. You won't upset me. Promise!”

Studying his face for a moment, Usagi must have found what he was looking for, since he took a deep breath and started fidgeting under the other teen's gaze once more. “Alright… here it goes.”

“I've been… thinking about this for a while. Like, a really long time actually.” The samurai chuckled to himself at that. “But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. And after everything that's happened, I think… I think it's time for me to take a chance.”

Leo simply stared at his friend in confusion. He really didn't know where he was going with this.

“Leonardo Hamato.” Usagi looked at the turtle in front of him with conviction as he uttered his full name, making the other blush with intensity. In a matter of seconds, the samurai pulled something from his pocket and placed it between them, bowing his head with red covering his entire features. “Doyouwannagooutwithme?!”

It took Leo about ten seconds to realize what Usagi was holding— a red rose.

It took him another ten seconds to process what the other had said.

Until his face finally erupted in flames after a total of thirty seconds. “W-What?!”

“I-I said… Do you-?” Usagi was about to ask again, only to have Leo interrupt him with slight annoyance in his voice. “No, I heard what you said! But that's not fair!”

Usagi's ears quickly flattened at the side of his head, and Leo immediately made sure to correct himself. “I've been trying to ask you out for months now in the best possible way, and then you come in and just outright say it? I-It's just not fair!”

After processing what the other said, the bunny boy smiled widely. “So I was right!”

“Right about what?”

“About you liking me! I hoped that you did, maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, but it wasn't! Like the pizza thing, the new sword and then the restaurant!” Usagi blurted in a single breath which made it difficult to keep up, but Leo somehow did. “Wait. You… You knew about all of that?”

Sheepishly looking at the ground, he nodded. “I mean, not at first. I saw the message in the pizza box after it was in the trash but thought maybe they gave us the wrong one. Then your father told me you made that sword for me, but I figured you were just being nice. And the restaurant… well I didn't know what to think of it. Maybe you were playing games with me? I dunno…”

At that last statement, Leo quickly grabbed the other by the shoulders and stared into his hazelnut eyes. “Yuichi, I would never play about something like that…”

The use of his first name brought more pink to the bunny's cheeks. Leo only used it when he was serious. With a smile slowly lifting in his corner, he quickly leaned in, and stole a nuzzle against the turtle's face, before pulling away just as fast. “Yes…”

Trying to accept the fact that his crush pretty much kissed him, Leo felt the world around him spinning, and the butterflies in his stomach multiplied in an instant. “H-Huh?”

“Yes, I will go out with you. That's what you wanted to ask, right?” Usagi kept his smile, pink never leaving his face.

Leo started laughing, red going from one cheek to the other. “And I would love to go out with you too…”

At that moment, the blue ninja couldn't be any happier. Everything he'd done over the past few months hadn't been for nothing, and it was actually totally worth it in the end. He'd make sure that Usagi didn't regret this decision, and based on the look the rabbit gave him, he was thinking the same thing.

Holding each other's hands under the beautiful midnight sky couldn't be anything more than cliché, yet he didn't care.

Life really was good after all.

“Oh, would you look at that? The gays have finally come out of their shell! Get it? Shell? Anyways gentleman, I believe you owe me money.”

“Aw Leo! Why didn't you tell us you were into Usagi? We could've totally hooked you up sooner!”

“Yeah bro! Dr. Feelings could've given you a free consultation!”

As he heard the snickers and snaps of pictures being taken from the rooftop, Leo sighed once more.

Well, he'd been planning stuff for months already.

What was one more scheme to help him become an only child?

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