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#i've been listening to it for a long time now. good couple of years
notthatnoodle · 2 days
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Tombstone Redemption
~Van Der Linde Gang meets the Cowboys~
”Gentlemen! May I simply ask you to listen to my, proposal.”
”Hear that, boys? We’re going to have some fun tonight, shall we!”
~~~~~~~~~~
And my dumb talk about cowboys, mental health, and me being so unsure of my drawing skills. Buckle up cowboy, it's going to be a long one.
~~~~~~~~~~
Do you know that feeling, when you have an idea. And that idea is something that scares you? Because I do, too clearly if one may say.
I wanted to do something. Draw something that I would be proud of. But how to do that when you just hate everything you do, when it feel overwhelming to do.
Well, just trying to do it. Just trying to enjoy the journey and the things I'm doing while on it.
It was scary to start, but I still had a plan for it, you know.
Something big, scary.
"This is never going to look good. It's going to be terrible."
"It's going to take so long, it's going to look stupid."
"I already hate it."
That's what I thought at the time, while doing the sketch.
And you know what...
I did. But after days of just doing the lines again and again, it finally got better. After DAYS. For me it might take weeks before I can continue working on something which looks bad in my eyes.
I hated to do the line art first, I hated to do it, so much that I almost gave up because it already, alone, felt overwhelming. I didn't like it one bit. The characters didn't look like themselves, and I wasn't happy. No one has any idea how long it took to do it.
BUT i finally did it. I got flat colors done. And from there, I could finally move to the next part. And I was so happy how it turned out, it gave me hope, feeling of success.
"I can do it."
"I can do the next part too."
I was in halfway now, the RDR2 side was ready, except the lighting and the shadows of course but anyway. To get myself to do the rest, I asked myself...
Why I do this again?
And the answer to that was surprisingly simple.
I do this because even it feels so overwhelming at times, I love to do it. I love to see what I'm capable of. I love to draw, sketch, do things like that.
Because it helps my mental health.
Because I need to get my inspiration out to a paper.
Because I love westerns
Because RDR2 became my comfort game.
Because Tombstone became my comfort movie.
Because I have no money to travel to the other side of the world to a meetings or something. I have to create my own "meetings", in a way of an art.
Because both, RDR and Tombstone, have helped me in the past year, in the ways I never imagined would be possible.
Who would've known long time ago that I wouldn't need any meds in couple of years because some sad, rough, cold, unstable cowboy men, huh?
I've heard so many times that people have called comfort characters "cringe" or "weird."
And that "you should get real help."
Well, I did. I had that real help, but beside the medication that helped, I just couldn't find anything to talk about with the professionals.
I never personally have liked talking (but it's still good, try it) and I've always used art and writing to get all my feelings out. Tbh, it haven't helped the situation that I'm terrible at recognizing my own feelings.
And, well.
If anyone would've said back in 2020 that "In couple years your mental health is going to get better because of Arthur Morgan and Johnny Ringo" I would've been so confused.
"Who??? Where??? When???"
The two most mentally stable men in the universe, right?
But you see, here we are. Still trying to decide do I hate my art or not. But even still, it's finally on place where I dreamed it would be when I was 14 years old and could only draw poor dogs and cats.
I may not feel like it, but I try to remind myself many times in a day. That this is what I wanted, this is what I worked for.
The progress has been slow, but it's still showing up. But I want to get better, I want to draw even more better, to get more realistic or something. I'm not even sure myself. Can you believe it? 10 years of drawing and I'm still not sure what I want my style really to be, other than somewhat realistic.
The progress is slow, but it's here. The mental health and drawing skills are both growing even I may not admit it to myself. And I still want to get better.
There is going to be bad times, there is always going to be bad times, those are never going to disappear. But what also is not going to disappear, is my passion to my art. To the characters, to the world they live in.
It's surely going to stay a big part of me, even it may fade in some point. But it is still there, a part which shows what helped me get back up.
As a reminder to myself how I got better. And that healing journey isn't in the end. Is only just begun.
It's a journey I'm afraid of, excited, curious, terrified...
But it's going to be amazing, hard, I'm going to hate and love every second of it.
And that's good. It means I've finally managed to dig up my closed emotions.
I may be able to know what I feel for the first time in years. I might be able to feel something that has been hidden away since forever.
And all that just because of some Cowboy Depression Simulator and the movie with the Cowboys and tuberculosis.
Seriously, they both end almost same way and managed to broke my fucking heart while doing it. And still they are probably the best things that have ever happened to me.
What I learned, what I thought while doing this art and thinking it's meaning... Only person you can let down in this planet is yourself, and only person who really knows everything you've done to get back up, is yourself. So, give a hug to you, give a tap to you, give a hamburger to you or something.
The good begins before the bad things end.
So go kick this day to the balls or something, somewhere where the sun doesn't shine, get it all back to yourself.
Carpe diem and have some FAITH to yourself...
Because you really don't know how good the light of tomorrow morning could feel.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I believe in y'all.
~~~~~~~~~~~
-Setri.
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lacefuneral · 4 months
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snowflop · 5 months
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I forgot YouTube has a recap feature, yippee! I love music :)
#i'm a little confused how Mori still got top artists this year i really didn't think i listened to her that much this year?#her last album was... not for me lets say. i guess i did listen to Unalive a lot. Resting Power is a genuine banger#you know what else is a banger? Lone Alpha's album Virtual Paradise steaming now on all platforms go listen to it it's so good#(shameless plug because i was on top 1% of their listeners and thats a travesty. everyone should listen to them they're incredible)#all my top tracks were songs i got stuck on and listened to for literally hours on loop#I played my number one track 88 times. i like it :)#here's a link because i dunno if it'll come up from the auto translated title -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAmA3w4lVAY#is it the best song in the world? no. it's a pretty typical piece of idol music. but its very dear to me.#i'm not even familiar with the vtuber who sings it. it just tumbled across my recommendations one day and stuck with me#the rest of my top tracks are like genuinely good. those are complete recommendations from me -w-)b#the second one a kinda ancient cover by Rachie. i've been listening to that sing since i was a teenage lol#i've just been feeling it this year i guess. i got stuck on it for a couple weeks and just kept looping back to it#the third one is Thai which was cool. i haven't heard a lot of songs in that language but it's really lovely#actually i'll link that one to 'cause if you're not familiar it might be hard to find -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S5b1lbWyUU#all the singers on it are great. i really like Schneider's Thai covers of other songs#and like. every single cover i've heard from Dacapo has been PHENOMENAL he's great#the last 2 are Paradox Live songs. I fucking love Amprule. Yeon Dongha number one forever#this is already to long but i wanna talk about Kessoku Band to. I still haven't watched Bochii (<fake anime fan) but the OST is NEXT LEVEL#every single song is just so <3<3 ''If i could be a constellation'' is just THE best. every song on the album is good.#you can ignore the rest of my recommendations but this album is just objectively good.#link -> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mNWkxcU6VC_aWOFnpqYha-J5UMzwbVlx4#EDIT: i'm coming back to edit this days later because oh. fucking DUH. Sinderella end of last year/start of this year. i fucking forgot.#JIGOKU 6 was not really my favourite. i liked a couple songs but some of the others weren't for me#(which i could say about Sinderlla to i guess but since it's got more songs i feel more positively about as a whole)#anyway. i didn't go that hard on Jigoku and since that the most recent one i was just like hm? what Mori did I listen to?#it was Sinderella from last year. I listened to that one A LOT.#Wanted -Wasted is just so good it carries the whole album for me. it even compensates for Internet Brain Rot lmao#snow blogging#music recs
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aphrogeneias · 3 months
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...right? — one-shot
pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader (modern!au)
summary: you're not sure of where you stand with eddie munson, but you're forced to confront your feelings after almost losing him.
word count: 3k
warnings: fluff and angst with a happy ending. jealous!reader. feelings of self-doubt. eddie munson is a sweetheart.
author's note: this one has been a long time in the making, and it may be a little melodramatic, but i'm doing a lot of self-projecting here, so be nice. thank you to @intrepidacious for reading it for me and giving me your approval <3 i'm sorry to all the girls named emma reading this, but i had to give that character a name.
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We're performing tonight, if you want to stop by.
You'd been staring at this message for a couple of minutes now, unsure of what to do. You seemed to be in this dilemma a lot, as of late — to answer or not to answer, to show or not to show.
Too scared to show how you felt, but too scared to lose him at the same time.
Zoned out, you caught Robin’s hand flying in your direction from your peripheral. “Stop looking at your phone!”
She snatched it from your hand, still open in your conversation with Eddie. Robin whistled when she took a look at your screen, “Oh, I see. How are things with Mr. Headbanger?”
“You're talking to Eddie?” Chrissy chimed in from her side of the bed, lifting herself on one elbow to see you better with Robin between you.
The three of you had been like this all night, spread out on Chrissy’s queen bed, a sequence of old romantic comedies playing on her TV. There was an empty pizza box on her fuzzy carpet, and a half finished bottle of wine next to it, the second of the night.
You groan, trying to get your phone back to no avail. “Things have been… well, I think. Too well. I guess I've just been waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Then, it was their time to groan.
Your friends like calling you jaded, but you consider yourself a realist.
It's been a topic of conversation between you for years. Ever since your last relationship ended, after you'd been left for another woman, when you swore off love for good — at first, they thought you were just grieving, it would take time to heal, of course, but you never really did.
You don't think you've ever been anything other than an open wound, in that sense, even before your ex. The high walls that were meant to protect you eventually became a prison you couldn't get out of. A princess and a dragon, all in one.
That is until Eddie Munson came into your life.
No one's ever made you want to drop those walls as much as he does. You'd met him through Chrissy, who’d been his friend since high school, and at first you thought he wasn't really flirting with you. He seemed to always be flirting with everyone, always getting a little too close. Until he asked you out, and you were still not convinced.
It could be a friend date. He could be after one of other friends. Maybe he was just passing time until he found someone better.
That was a few months ago, and Eddie hasn't gone anywhere.
He had a few shirts on your place, merch from various bands which you were growing fond of listening to them in his car. Shirts you would wear to bed when he wasn't spending the night, curling into bed with his smell on you. He'd made friends with your cat, and fixed your coffee in the morning the way you liked it, and left strands of hair loose in your shower.
A brave knight, that Eddie is.
Despite your closeness, and the honesty you see in his eyes whenever you're near him, neither one of you has put a name on what you have. It keeps you up at night, thoughts about calling him your boyfriend and have him laughing at your face. How could you be so stupid?
The thought of it brings tears to your eyes.
“What if that's it, though?” Chrissy interjects, with a gentle voice. Her small hand reached for yours, and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “What if there's no other intentions, no other shoe to drop? You have no reason not to trust him.”
“You say that because he's your friend.”
“Chris is right, babe.” Robin says, sitting straighter on the bed. “He’s never given you any reason to think like that. You need to let yourself go, just this once.”
You sigh, and mumble something along the lines of “Easier said than done,” as you sit up and pull your knees to rest your chin on them.
“You should go, by the way.”
Robin reaches to you with your phone in hand, handling it back to you. Her blue eyes are kind, understanding. Chrissy smiles from her place between you.
“Our local rockstar is waiting for you.”
You respond Eddie with a short omw <3 before your friends are pushing you out of your stupor, and into the street.
They’ve already finished their set by the time you arrive at The Hideout.
You're dressed entirely inappropriate for a dive bar full of metalheads and middle-aged bikers, but you don't let yourself think too much about it because no one really notices you coming in, except for the bouncer who compliments you on your old college sweatshirt.
The night is well beyond starting. The bar is full, and it takes you a while to find Eddie, but when you do, he finds you immediately.
He's at the foot of the stage, talking to his friends. The rest of the band is around too, and you wave at them as Eddie makes his way towards you. The smile that pulls on your lips is uncontrollable when he, with an excited smile of his own, takes you in his arms, wrapping himself around you. “Hi! You just missed the show!”
“I'm sorry! I was at Chrissy’s.”
You take a second to look at him closely. His wild hair is a little damp, and his Accept shirt has the sleeves cut off, which shows more of his tattoos. There's a studded belt on his hips, and you don't think too much before pulling him closer by it.
Eddie kisses you on the forehead, and his lips linger a little bit before pulling away. “Did you tell her I said hi?”
“Forgot to. But next time I'll make sure to send your regards.”
When he's close like this, you almost forget your doubts. When his arm is around your shoulders and he's pulling you close, the smell of his cologne and the last cigarette he smoked before going on stage cling to you, and you cling to it in turn.
“Good, and make sure to arrive on time next time too because we played your favorite and you weren't here.” He pouts dramatically, putting one hand to his chest.
The gasp you let out matches it. “Metal Health? Eddie, no!”
“Eddie, yes!” He shakes you a little, turning you in the direction of the tables. “We played Quiet Riot, and you weren't here to see it. Have to say I'm a little disappointed, sweetheart.”
Walking along with him, you stop when you reach a vacant booth on the corner. Turning to face him fully, you leave a soft kiss on his stubbled chin. “I guess you'll just have to keep playing it, then.”
“Does that mean you'll come to every show?”
There's no space between the two of you, standing chest to chest with each other. The rest of the bar disappears. “I might, if you'll have me.”
“Baby, I'll…”
The bubble you find yourselves in shatters and breaks when Eddie stutters, and turns, because there is someone poking him on the back, disturbing your moment. It's a woman, asking to speak to him.
You don't really register what she's saying. All you know is that you've seen her around before, and you know she's friends with the guys. Eddie apologizes to you as he's being dragged away for a private conversation. “I'll be right back! Don't go far.”
Nodding, you remain frozen in place.
They don't go far, but you can't really tell what they're talking about, but her hand on his forearm, slowly rising to his bicep, tells you everything you need to know.
You don't realize it but you're shaking a little bit, cold sweat prickling through your suddenly frigid skin. There's a ringing in your ears, and a lump growing in your throat, but you can't stop yourself from looking.
He looks beautiful like this. The light from the now empty stage hits his figure from the back, making him look every bit like the rock god he's always aspired to be. The frizz on his hair creates a halo around his head, and you think you might faint.
To his credit, he doesn't get any closer to the girl. Doesn't flirt back. His smile is polite, and he maintains a sensible distance, but that's not enough to ease your mind.
He's only keeping a distance because you're here. Your mind says, always the traitor. You're holding him back. He could be making out with a different girl every night. Maybe he is. Maybe he is and you're none the wiser. Better walk away now. Go, before your heart breaks.
It's already breaking, and you're the culprit.
You almost don't notice Eddie return to you, as your vision’s gone blurry.
“Sorry, Emma wanted to invite me to an after party. Told her I was busy.” There it was, his easy smile again. From a first look, you wouldn't think Eddie Munson smiles so easily, but it's always there, pulling on his full lips and showing off his dimples.
You would smile back, as usual, but it's like your face can't move.
“Just you?” You ask, “Not the rest of the boys?”
He laughs, but there's not much humor behind it. “Just me.”
“Aren’t you gonna say anything?” He is still grinning, raising one eyebrow at you, as if taunting you to speak up. Something rotten spreads through your insides, stirring them, rising like bile right through your opened mouth.
“Say what? It's not like we're dating, Eddie."
If regret could kill, you would be dead the moment you saw his face fall. Eddie's expressiveness is a double-edged sword — his happiness was contagious, but when he’s upset, there is nothing that could distract you from the way his bambi eyes plead to you.
You double down anyway, already feeling like a fool, but too stubborn to take back what you said.
"...right?"
“Is that what you think?” He asks, a pout on his pretty lips. “Is that what you want?”
“I… I don't know.” Your mouth is moving, but it's like you don't have control over what you're saying anymore. Like you can't even hear yourself, too taken by the dread that has taken over your body. “I think… What do you think?”
You throw the question back at him because you can't be the first one to say it. Because if he backs out, if you say what you really want — and it's him, he's all you've ever wanted, and the realization hits you like a punch to the gut — and he says it's never been quite like that, that he doesn't want you the same way, that he's just been passing the time, you would break.
Eddie looks away from you, then. His fingers pinch the bridge of his nose, “You're not sure what you want, is that what you're telling me?”
“No! No, it's not like that.” You almost choke on your own spit, “I'm just…”
Scared. Of opening your heart, of rejection, of him leaving when he learns how much you want him, need him.
“If you're not sure of what you want, I think you should take some time to think about it.”
“But, Eddie, I…”
“Think about it, and call me when you know.”
One of his hands goes to your shoulder, squeezing it, and briefly running thumb over the fabric of your sweatshirt. He's turning around before you can stay anything, the lump in your throat too big to allow you to speak.
The room feels like it's turning upside down as you turn the other way, towards the door. It turns and turns on its axis, and you almost lose your balance as you're making your way out. You wave halfheartedly at the bouncer, who waves back at you in the middle of his conversation with a green haired girl.
Walking home, you have time to think of what you'd just done.
As the tears roll freely through your face, and you wipe them with the end of your sleeves, you think of Eddie’s sullen face, once full of life, now transpiring his disappointment in you. You'd let him down, and it was all your fault.
In an attempt to protect yourself, you pushed him away.
You imagine him back at the bar, with the boys. With Emma, ready to console him after what you just did to him. The thought of it just makes you cry harder, trying to control your breathing as you get closer to your apartment.
You did what you always do. Leave first, turn your back, clam up back into your shell. You just never thought you'd do that to him.
It doesn't take long until you spiral.
You did all you could after you got home. Tried to breathe, but it only made you cry harder. Curled up on the couch with your cat, a brown tabby that curled herself right back into you, and cried until there were no tears left. Ignored your friends’ messages on your phone, pretending everything was all right.
Tried to drink, but felt too sad to even open your fridge. Ran into one of Eddie’s hoodies hanging from the back of a chair in your room, and felt more tears coming, but no strength to cry.
Everything in your room reminded you of him — your unmade bed where he'd be lying on if you didn't screw up, the fantasy book he'd let you borrow on your bedside table, a polaroid of the two of you with your arms around each other serving as a bookmark.
You pick your phone, and it rings and rings. He doesn't answer. In a moment of panic, you leave a message instead, pacing through your room on your bare feet, still wearing the clothes you went out in. The cat on your bed follows your movements with her eyes.
“Hi, Eddie. I… You might not even want to hear from me right now, and I get that. Really, I do, but… You just need to know I know I fucked up. I didn't mean to do you like that, I didn't mean to say those things to you.”
Your voice trembles, just like the hand that's holding your phone to your mouth, but you keep going, “Of course we're dating, we've been dating for a while now. I was too scared to say anything because we never put a label on it and I thought you didn't want anything with me, I guess I just didn't want to be the first one to say it in case you decided this wasn't… that I wasn't… what you wanted.”
There's a few seconds pause as you take a deep breath, and release it in an anguished sigh. “What I'm trying to say is… that I like you. A lot. Have since the beginning. And I understand if you didn't want anything to do with me anymore because of what I just did, but… if you still want to talk, I'm… I'm still here, okay? I'm still here.”
When you're finished, you throw your phone back on your bed, and wait.
You're still pacing around the house, a mug full of tea in hand, when you hear your phone vibrating on your bed. You almost don't pick it up, but you do anyway.
Two notifications from Eddie.
Can I come over?
Are you still up?
Hands shaking, you answer with a simple Yeah. Key’s on the carpet.
The clock on your screen says it's 2:22 AM.
You hear your door opening not too long after that, the spare key turning on the lock, as you're sitting on the couch, writing like a kid that's to be scolded when their parents come home. The mug of tea is half empty at your feet, and now cold, just as your nervous hands as Eddie comes through the door.
Wearing a Metallica sweatshirt, an older one that you've borrowed before, one you know how soft it feels on the skin, he comes in and silently closes the door behind him, leaving the key on a small ceramic plate by it.
You cave in before he can say anything. “I'm sorry.”
Your chin is wobbling again, but you swallow it down, not wanting to make a scene. Eddie comes closer, and sits next to you, careful not to kick the mug that you left carelessly on the floor.
“No, I'm sorry. I should have said something, I should have told you what you meant to me sooner. You know… I've been calling you my girlfriend to everyone but to the person who matters the most.”
“Everyone?” You repeat, “Everyone who?”
“The guys. At work. Wayne…”
“You told your uncle I'm your girlfriend?” The word feels foreign in your tongue, but not unpleasant. Eddie looks sheepish, but the corner of his mouth twitches and lifts just a bit, one of those dimples you love making an appearance in your dimly lit living room.
“Yeah. Like I said, everyone but the one who matters the most.”
There it is. That earnestness, pouring through him, warming you up from the inside out.
“And I guess… Am I the person you mean?”
“Who else would it be?” He's tilting his head now, kind eyes aimed at you. You huff a weak laugh, them, relief hitting you in waves. Not thinking too much, you throw yourself at him, hugging him by the shoulders, and folding your legs under your thighs to be closer to him.
“I'm still sorry, though. Sorry that I made you think I had doubts, or that I…”
Eddie doesn't let you finish, shushing you with a hand on the back of your head, and another wrapping around your waist, keeping you in place. “It's okay, sweetheart. I'm sorry too.”
“Since we're both sorry, does anyone have to be sorry at all?” You mumble into his shoulder, taking in his smell through his clothes. It soothes you more than anything can, along with his voice vibrating through his chest, and the warmth of his body clinging to yours.
“I think we can discuss the details in the morning.”
He seals it with a kiss to your temple. You and your boyfriend sleep on that same couch, and in the morning, there is nothing left to say.
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cherubfae · 2 months
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Can you write Alastor x a Reader who works in radio? I don't think Alastor would let them on air since he doesn't seem the type to have a co host to me but maybe he'd have a intern who gets him coffee or a script writer.
Good To Be Back On the Air || Alastor x reader
tags: gn!sinner!reader (described to have horns but is an otherwise ambiguous demon!!), fluff, pre-established relationship, mentions of death, true crime, vox being vox lmao, jealous alastor, blood/bloody play (sorta??), Valentino is his own warning (threats of SA but nothing happens), mentions of injuries and being kidnapped (use of chloroform), implied VoxVal
a/n: I hope you enjoy!! This got a bit long!
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Much like Alastor's life before he died, you were also quite the popular radio host for your time. Engaging, funny, and respectable. Your audience loved tuning in the early hours of the morning to you recanting the strange occurrences of the multiple killings of men from the late 1920s until that stream suddenly stopped during the year 1933 within New Orleans, Louisiana.
True crime has always been your passion, in life and in death. You certainly didn't think you'd end up in Hell for taking the life of someone trying to mug you on the street. A tall, masked man who saw to it that you'd never see the light of day again. A couple gunshot wounds to your abdomen proved effective as you rest against the wall, bleeding out onto the concrete with your soon-to-be killer lying facedown and dead mere feet from you. Killed by the very thing you sought to bring awareness towards. Quite poetic in a way.
As your gaze clouds and vision becomes unfocused, you look up at the stars. The ares around you was beautiful. It was one of your favorite parts of town, even your death wouldn't taint the beauty of the stretching oak and maple trees reaching tall towards the skies. The faint sound of smooth jazz playing from the record shop only a few paces away mixing with the swirling scent of coffee. At least you were dying in a place that you loved.
Now, here you are. In Hell. Doomed to total damnation for all fucking eternity. You'd been down here for a couple months, taking up residence near Cannibal Town, yet still unsure of what to make of all the carnage, debauchery, and depravity. You didn't think you belonged in Hell, even if you took the life that simultaneously extinguished your own.
"What's wrong, dearie? I've known you to be quiet but today you are exceptionally so." Mused Rosie, her gentle tone pulling you out of your reverie. You glanced down at your tea, sighing.
Leaning your cheek against your palm, you meet her charcoal-black eyes. Genuine concern etched onto her politely beautiful face. "I'm just feeling lost is all, I guess. I told you how I ended up in Hell, right?" Solemnly, Rosie nods.
Placing down her tea cup, Rosie wiggles towards you a bit. "Maybe you just need to find that old spark again! Something that roused you when you were alive! I have a friend who was a radio host, same as you. He may be able to have a job for you! Alastor is as charming as they come!" She grins, her mouth full of pointed teeth on full display.
Your brow quirks. "Alastor? The Radio Demon?" Rosie nods, excitedly. Alastor had been the prolific serial killer that haunted New Orleans back in the 1920s. It felt weird that the main man-- subject, you studied in life would soon be your acquaintance and potential boss in death. You'd heard many hushed tales about the aforementioned Radio Demon dealing in bartered souls and how he wreaked havoc against his fellow Overlords overnight. He definitely seemed like the kind of demon you didn't want to make light of, or worse, be on his bad side.
"He's a quirky one, for sure, but don't listen to all those rumors and gossip!" Rosie waves her hand with a laugh. "Alastor is still a gentleman and I'm sure he'd be delighted to offer you a job! Maybe you can intern for him? Besides! If he's ever rude to you, ol' Rosie will kick him in the shins! I'll wear my extra-pointy boots!" She giggles, holding your hands in hers. "You'll be in good hands, my dear! I'll let Alastor know you're coming right away!"
Staring down at the neatly folded paper in your hand, you double and triple check the address scrawled in neat calligraphy.
Hazbin Hotel.
Was it normal for a former serial killer slash radio host to become a hotelier that's trying to rehabilitate sinners?
With a shrug, you made your way up the incline taking note of the rather ominous looking radio tower jutting out from the far-right side of the hotel. A sign displaying the words on-air was currently unlit and it looked quite dark inside from what you could see from the ground. Perhaps the great Alastor wasn't at home.
Knocking on the front door, you're greeted by a tall, deer-like demon with two-toned hair and sharp yellow teeth dressed in a dapper red-pinstripe suit complete with a microphone-like cane. Scarlet eyes stare down at you like a lion watching a gazelle. You feel utterly and completely exposed, like he's peeling back your every layer, surveying you, before he even said a single word.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, my dear! Quite a pleasure! You must be the little darling that dear Rosie sent, yes?" Alastor places his hand on your lower back, guiding you past the hotel's front doors and into the welcoming comfort of the establishment's front lobby and reception area. "This is a place where wayward sinners such as yourself can find peace and be led on the path of redemption to ascend to Heaven by Hell's very own princess, Charlie Morningstar!"
On queue, a blonde-haired girl sprints up to you squealing and flailing her arms a bit. She takes her hands in yours and offers you a big, delighted smile. You like her immediately. "Oh, my gosh! Welcome, welcome to Hazbin Hotel! I see you've met our gracious host Alastor! He's mentioned that you're going to be interning for him-- how exciting! We are so thankful to have you!"
To think, all those months ago had been the start of your journey with your friends. You had felt so out of place in Hell, in your new skin, uncomfortable with the weight of sharp horns protruding your skin and the strength of your clawed hands. You were quite pleasantly surprised at what you could withstand now as a demon.
With the attention directed back at him, Alastor grins with a whine of radio static. It was the equivalent of a lazy smirk with his half-lidded scarlet eyes taking you in one more, searching for any potential risks you may pose though you didn't intend any of that sort. You felt your skin begin to heat the longer his gaze remained on you, and hesitantly break the eye contact with the demon in favor of Charlie, who has been excitedly talking about all of the hotel's features.
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"I brought your coffee, sir." Alastor hums out a soft 'thank you' yet continues to fiddle with the buttons and tracks on his console, not raising his head to look at you. "Rosie gave me some venison for you. She said aid it's your favorite when it's fresh and raw." Placing Alastor's simple black coffee on a small side table, you revere your boss with a fond expression. Rosie had been truthful she said he was the charming sort. There certainly was an air of respectability about him that men lacked from your time.
"Our dear Rosie is certainly a clever one, and she is quite correct. There is no better way to enjoy meat than having it served fresh. Preferably off the bone but this will do." Alastor tilts his head, turning to the side to regale you from the corner of his eyes. Those damn beautiful scarlet gems. "Something the matter, my dear?" Alastor's voice is a soft crackle.
Stumbling in surprise, you wrack your brain for a plausible answer. When you find none, you shake your head from side to side cursing the heat that sets your cheeks ablaze.
Alastor smirks, standing from his stool and approaches you. He grasps your chin between his thumb and forefinger; his claw lightly dragging across your lower lip. Blood beads up following the path his claw created. He swipes it up, licking it in front of you.
"Tasty," Alastor grins, leaning down and bumping his nose into yours. "As I said, meat is best when fresh." He squeezes your cheek lightly, chuckling at the exudes into his palm. "If I wasn't certain, I'd say you have a little crush on me, hmm?" He turns his back to you, those damned scarlet eyes that see straight through your soul strike you where you stand. "That'll be all now, dearest. Thank you for your time and your blood."
You couldn't get out of there fast enough. You weren't afraid of him, no, you were more scared of kissing him now more than ever. A fantasy of both of you pressed tight to one another with mouths soaked in blood would be all you can think of for hours.
Whatever was going on between you and Alastor continued on much like a game of cat and mouse only he seemed to be going out of his way more and more to fluster you, saying things that would catch you off guard.
"I don't think of myself as much of a man who desires a relationship beyond friends and family, but cohabitating with you as lifelong partners does sound desirable."
"Hmm, tell me. Are your horns sensitive?" His breath ghosts then one day, causing you to shriek and cover them. You pout, turning your head to glare at him. Alastor's grin only seemed to stretch further. "Only teasing, darling, no need to get so uppity."
It was a slow evening, Alastor had sent you off on another errand. There was a sense of apprehension worrying his brow, glancing at the analog clock. The hour hand strikes the 3am mark. He'd sent you off almost an hour and a half ago, so where were you?
Interference crackles onto his radio, Alastor hissing as the feedback screeches. With ears pinned back, his eyes narrowed further when a familiar voice crosses.
"Ugh, I will never understand why thr fuck you use this shit, Alastor." Groaned Vox. "Anyway, I got your cute assistant here. You should see them, shaking like a leaf." The radio glitches in tune with Vox's laughter. "Valentino here has been itching for a new plaything, doesn't that sound good, sweetheart? Maybe we can broadcast that for all of Hell to see, right Al--"
Smash. Alastor's fist smashes through the radio cutting off Vox's boastful rant.
On the other side of the city, Vox blinks in confusion. "I lost the radio signal? Oh, fuck, God this shit is so old." He sighs, leaning back in his chair. Spinning around, he gives you a wry smirk. "Guess we'll see if the Great Alastor comes to rescue his lost pup, hmm?"
Glowering at him, left bound and gagged, sitting on the cold, hard floor. Valentino gives a harsh tug on your hair, your teeth sinking into the cotton gag shoved in your mouth, a muffled grunt leaving you.
An electric feeling in the air has your hair rising. Vox and Valentino share a confused look. A large fist blasts inside of the V Tower, claws sharp as they did through the metal like it was butter.
"Oh, fuck, it's Alastor!" Vox shrieks, scrambling to get away from the broken window. A second fist smashes through sending Vox into the opposing wall with a deep thud. Valentino runs to his friend's aid, helping him up.
"Well, this is what you wanted, honey."
Vox groans in protest. "I know."
Green electricity crackles, a dark shadow pooling into the room and with a shriek, manifests into Alastor.
Paying the two no mind, Alastor crosses the threshold and kneels down before you. His clawed fingers are gentle as he removes the gag around your bruised mouth. "Sorry it took me so long, mon cour." A tentacle bursts through his back, spiraling directly into Vox and Valentino, sending the two into the neighboring room with a loud crash.
Scooping you into his arms, Alastor calmly walks through to the next room, his hand cupping the back of your head. "Rest." He regards the other two males with a snarling crackle.
"If I didn't have more important matters to attend to, I would eviscerate you two gents. Touch what is mine again and I'll broadcast your fucking screams all over Hell." Alastor hums, exiting V Tower.
"Holy shit! Did you see?? He finally sees me as his rival!" Vox cheers, tossing both arms into the air in celebration.
"This may sting, but I trust that you can handle it." Alastor says, rubbing off the blood from your brow with a cotton ball doused in isopropyl alcohol. Wincing softly, you take the moment to look at him closely. You'd never seen Alastor so disheveled. Even with dealing with enemies, he was always composed. But, tonight, he had been anything but the picture of composure. He looked positively feral.
Valentino sighs, "Honey, you need psychiatric help."
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"Is there something about my face you find interesting, dearest?"
Squeaking, your face flushes, shaking your arms frantically. Gasping you quickly place a hand to your ribs. Guess they really did fracture something when they knocked you out.
Alastor stills your hands with his own. "Easy now, pet. You're in no state to be moving around like an interpretive mime. I was only teasing you, my dearest. You had me worried tonight."
Hanging your head low, you turn your gaze away. "I'm sorry, Alastor. I don't know how they got the drop on me. I was walking home and smelled something odd--," you gasped in realization. "Chloroform. It had to be."
Alastor growled tensely at that. He tied the bandage around your arm and with a snap of his fingers the medical kit disappeared and a serving tray appeared carrying a kettle full of hot chocolate and a staple 1920s dessert: pound cake. This one was drizzled with a bitter chocolate and filled with strawberries.
Alastor takes your hand and gently kisses your knuckles. "Care to join me for a treat?" His tone was a touch more gentle than it had been a heartbeat ago. You smile, nodding eagerly. He grins and begins to cut the cake, serving you first. "One more thing."
|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024
Softly, Alastor kisses your cheek. It was the lightest of touches and over as soon as it happened. He busies himself by pouring two mugs of steaming hot chocolate, the apples of his cheeks were a rosy hue.
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aprilthearcher · 3 months
Text
me and you... were meant to be.
[remus lupin x f!reader] [platonic james potter x f!reader]
slytherin!reader (because i myself am one). use of (y/n) (though i tried my best to not overuse it)
angst, but happy ending. remus' insecurities get in the way of your fresh relationship. 3k words.
i haven't written for remus for a long, long time so i tried to do my best because i love him to pieces and recently i've been experiencing a remus lupin era so... here it is. also, that spell she uses to protect her home... i've no idea if it exists, i just liked it.
english is not my first language, so there could be some mistakes. pictures are not mine.
thank you for reading!
i wrote this while listening to "Don't Delete the Kisses" by Wolf Alice and "What if I Love You" by Gatlin.
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“What if you and I… What if we were never meant to be?”
“What are you saying, Remus?”
“I'm saying that I don't think we… I don't think it’s good for us to keep seeing each other.”
“But, but why? We are so good right now, we… I’m trying here, Remus, but I don't get it. Why would you do this?”
“I've just told you, we are not meant for each other. You… you des…” He stopped mid sentence. “I don't see you like that anymore, I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise.”
Now, on top of a bus that would drop her off a couple of blocks from her flat, she couldn’t recall a single moment in their short relationship that could’ve propelled something like this. They were good, really good. After dancing around each other for so long during their Hogwarts years, they had finally admitted their feelings one summer afternoon while looking at the sun go down and the moon rise up. Four months later, he was ending it. Salazar, could he have been high? She knew sometimes the boys would smoke those muggle herbs Marlene would bring them, overcharging them of course, but he had never said something so… heartbreaking under their influence. No, he couldn’t have been high, he would become even touchier when he’d smoke some, ignoring his friend’s presence and delighting in the passionate, even primal, effect they’d produce; the lightheaded feeling that allowed him to relax and run his fingers through her arms, her hands, her neck and jaw…
She pressed the palm of her hands against her eyes when they started to water for the fifth time that evening after leaving Dorcas’ apartment complex. Was he so desperate to get rid of her that he couldn’t even wait to do it at home? What would her great-grandmother think of her if she saw her like this? “Crying over a half-blood, a HALF-BREED, you are nothing but a blood traitor. You’ve tainted our legacy, you and your good-for-nothing parents, you are no more worthy than those mudbloods you hang round, affiliating yourself with muggles, living a life surrounded by them." Why did she keep caring about what she would think? She had never shared her views on blood purity and how any wizard or witch that wasn’t part of the Sacred Families would be undeserving of its magic. She hated people like her grandmother. She hated that the old hag had tried to drill these thoughts into her head since a very young age. She was glad she had died and she was glad her parents were nothing like their parents, so why was she remembering her now? Perhaps it was the fear of losing her entire friend group that made her sick mind resort to conjuring the old witch’s voice in her head.
She truly hoped for her great grandmother to be rolling in her grave at the sight of one of her descendants crying over a werewolf and the possibility of losing her entire friend group made up of blood traitors, half-bloods, and muggleborns. 
She knew they weren’t like that, that they wouldn’t isolate her for something like this. Merlin, they didn’t even know, at least until tonight, of their relationship! Though she was sure it wouldn’t take long for them to figure it out after how she had left in such an abrupt manner, without saying goodbye and barely making it to the door without the tears falling down her cheeks. She had left the task of explaining everything to Remus. 
“Lady, this is the last stop!” The bus driver called out from the front of the vehicle.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck Remus Lupin for breaking her heart, for making her cry and making her miss her bus stop. Fuck him for making her feel so in love she left her guard down, fuck him for assuring her that he could trust him. 
Although she had planned to take the muggle bus to get her mind off things and not get home immediately — for she was sure her lonely flat would make her feel worse, for she was sure there was one of Remus’ sweater idle placed on the back of an armchair she was hoping to return tonight after he’d accompanied her home —, she had not anticipated missing her stop and having to walk ten or so blocks home. It was not that she felt unsafe wandering through London this late, but she just felt emotionally exhausted.
She almost jogged all the way home, not wanting to encounter any trouble on her way home for she was not in the right state of mind for fighting anyone, muggle or not. Though, perhaps, the rush of adrenaline that would come from a brawl would bring her back to life, a little at least. 
She’d taken two steps into the hallway when she saw the light coming from her flat. Stopping on her tracks, she got her wand out of her leather holster strapped in her left shoulder and approached her door. Good thing she had opted to climb the stairs instead of apparating inside; if she were to be ambushed, she wouldn’t have had any time to prepare. 
With the whisper of an incantation the door opened slowly. For a moment, she forgot about Remus and the only thing on her mind was to find out who was inside her home. Her mind was reeling with ideas. Death eaters. 
Death eaters. Death eaters. Death eaters.
But how? She had secured the place with some, if not all, of the best protective spells. Dorcas had helped her set them up. The locks were unbreachable, as well as the magical barriers protecting the walls from all sides, there were only two people that could apparate inside, her and…
“Prongs?”
She had chosen James as the only other person to be able to apparate inside her home. The spell was infallible and it had taken them several months of hard work, but it was worth it since not even someone who had induced the polyjuice potion, impersonating James, could get in. 
She saw him pacing round her living room, his fingers twirling his wand in the air, a trick she had seen muggle musicians do when playing the drums. He stopped once he saw her, quickly coming to wrap one arm around her frame while the other pushed the door closed. The hiss of the invisible sigils increased for a second.
“I thought something had happened to you on the way home, you took so long. Why did you take so long? I was worried sick.”
“Merlin, James, the baby is making you act just like your mother.”
“Shut up, I was genuinely worried. Was about to go searching for you.”
“I took the bus but missed my stop, so I had to walk.”
He nodded, relaxing a bit now that he saw his best friend was okay. Physically, at least. Her emotions were still all over the place, her heart had calmed down and decided to break again after realising there were no intruders in her home. 
“What happened back then, dove? With Remus? You, you just run away.”
“I think you know what happened, James.” She said, while hanging her coat in the rack and taking out her boots. She knew he knew, he wouldn’t have left Dorcas’ flat without an explanation from Remus after seeing her so distressed.
James sighed. Even though her own feelings were messed up, she could still realise this was a difficult position for James, and the rest of them, to be in. (Y/N) and James had been friends since they were young, younger than now at least, knowing each other because their parents introduced them the summer before beginning their third year at Hogwarts. She was a Slytherin thus making it hard for the boy to trust her, even at that age, but one stern look from his mother Euphemia had the boy overcoming his prejudice against her in a heartbeat. It had been quite impossible to separate them since then, which meant introducing her to the rest of his friends. Sirius had been apprehensive, Peter quite terrified… Remus… Remus had been intrigued, you could say. All of his previous interactions with Slytherins hadn’t been pleasing, but this was the girl he had Transfiguration with, who would raise her hand faster than anyone and answer correctly, getting all the spells right on her first try. This was the girl he had glanced at maybe once — he definitely did more than glance — at the library, carrying way too many books for her on one hand while the other, holding her wand, pointed to the floating pile of heavier tomes behind her. 
Remus is also one of his best friends, the four of them are like brothers. She couldn’t deny she was quite surprised to see James here, attempting to comfort her instead of him.
He still had his arm around her shoulders when they started to walk towards the kitchen. If James intended to stay then she was in dire need of some tea to pass the bad taste the fight had left in her mouth. He would want to hear her side of the story. Turning to light up the room, she saw pints of red covering James’ knuckles. She disengaged from his hug, positioning her body in front of his then grabbed his hand, harshly. She heard him wince. His eyes scrunched and his lips closed in a thin line, she knew. He knew that she knew.
“Did any of his teeth fall out?” She pressed her fingers to his bloodied knuckles.
“No, but… Ow! Would you stop that?” He tried to release his hand from his grasp, she tightened her hold.
“I don’t need you defending me, James.”
“You’re my best friend, of course I’ll…”
“He’s your best friend too!” She yelled. Salazar, she was pathetic. Defending the boy who crushed her heart no more than two hours ago. “I don’t want you fighting my battles for me, James, especially when it’s against one of your friends.”
“I’m sorry, dove, you are like a sister to me. I couldn’t help it.”
“It’s not like he did anything wrong though. He… he is allowed to change his mind. I - I was the one to get too caught up. I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have…”
“I didn’t punch him because he ‘changed his mind’, dove. I punched him because he was lying about that.”
“James…”
“No, no, listen. Listen to me.” He grabbed her face, wiping the new set of tears that had begun to cascade down her face. “I know Remus and I know that he loves you, that he’s loved you since you jinxed one of the fourth years after bad mouthing Peter, perhaps even before that. He’s not telling the truth and he’s pushing you away because he’s terrified of how much he loves you. That’s why I hit him, thought it’d make him realise he cannot lose you.”
“Salazar, you really are your mother.” James laughs at your comment, heart soaring with desperation at the new turn of events. He knew something more was going on with Remus and (Y/N) as of the last couple of months because James Potter was observant and this new bond didn’t look like the shy glances they’d throw from across the Hall during their Hogwarts’ years. These were slow, delicate touches; soft smiles and bodies that would look to be close to each other every chance they got. So he wanted nothing more than for his friends to be happy; although he should’ve seen Remus’ self-sabotaging tendencies coming because he knew all of his friends like the back of his hand, he didn’t. He blamed the uprising war for that. He blamed it for everything, from clouding Remus’ judgement more than ever to forcing him and Lily, and consequently the rest of the Order, to be constantly on the lookout for danger. None of them had had a good night’s sleep for months now. 
“You should still apologise, you’ve been friends for years and I…” 
Rapid, loud knocks against her front door interrupted (Y/N). She and James looked at each other, he had a hunch of who it might be but getting his wand at the ready didn’t hurt. (Y/N) had the same idea, she started to move towards the entrance with her arm up, wand always pointing at the door.
“Who is it?” The banging stopped.
“It’s … It’s me, Rem - Remus. I - I.” She could hear him shuffling outside, as if he were moving round the place, jumping from one foot to another; he probably was. “It's really me, I - I got you that black leather holster for your wand as a gift. You bought the rug on your bedroom floor in a flea market last month, you said it reminded you of the one you had back home. Your favourite colour is red and you hated yourself for it because James always joked how you should’ve been in…”
“Gryffindor.” By the time Remus had been at the end of his ranting, she had unlocked the door and opened it all the way, hitting the rag on the way. 
“Yeah, but green always looked better on you.” Remus looked at her face, he could see the trail of black makeup going from her eyes to her chin. She must’ve felt his stare because in a swift movement she got rid of the marks, or at least she tried to. It smudged a bit more than he knew she would’ve preferred. 
“You’ve got blood on your face.” She said.
“I know, I - I tripped down the…” Remus tried to explain while cleaning the blood with the back of his sweater. She could’ve told him she’ll clean it up for him with the touch of a finger. She didn’t.
“You don’t have to cover for him, I know James punched you.”
“Damn right I did.” She heard from inside the flat. James was leaning against the arch that separated the living room from the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest and a look that must’ve frightened Remus because of how he bent his head down and then looked up again, nodding as to show he’d understood his lesson. (Y/N) stared at James with an eyebrow raised, he sighed and then said: “I’m going to get Lily back at Dorcas’. See you, dove.” With a crack in the air, James disappeared.
“What I said, earlier, it - it wasn’t true.” Remus began once they had settled on her velvet green sofa. She had found it on the street, a bit tattered but nothing magic couldn’t repair. “I’m an idiot but I’m just so scared. So frightened that.. that what I - what I am will put a higher target behind your back. I’m a half-breed, a monster, and people like me … No, no let me finish. People like me don’t deserve someone as pure as you so I thought…”
“You thought pushing me away, breaking my heart, would solve any of that?”
“Well, yes! If I’m not putting you in danger during the full moon, then I’m putting you in danger because they - they won’t hesitate to come after you if you are with me.”
“You bloody git. They are after all of us, even if we aren’t together, they’ll still come after me…”
“You don’t know that.”
“What are you saying, Remus? I’m a blood traitor in their eyes, my best friend is a muggleborn. My own great-grandmother would put me on the ground if she could see me right now so don’t try to make me understand you with this bullshit. You may be scared of love, of loving me, but I’m not. I love you and I’ve loved you for so long that I’m not going to give you up, not at times like this. I don’t care that you’re a werewolf, I’ve never cared. And I get that it’s hard for you, that you feel guilty when we try to alleviate your pain, but I’m fucking exhausted that you think I won’t be able to handle it, to handle you and your transformations.” She inched her face closer to his, a hand moving up to cradle his jaw while the other grabbed his hand. “I chose to be with you, knowing full well that it wouldn’t be easy and not because you’re a werewolf but because you are an insufferable arsehole who doesn’t let people in, who is afraid of hurting others while not realising that he’s still hurting them when he pushes them away.”
He didn’t respond, he just leaned further on the touch of her hand. It grounded him. How was he able to think, even for a second, that he would survive without her light-feathered touch, without her hands running through his hair or his arms that would give him goosebumps?
“I thought that you had grown tired of me or that you had never loved me the way I loved you. That you’d thought I wasn’t loyal to the Order, that somehow I would…”
“No, no, no. I’d never, (Y/N), truly, I’d never. I got lost, I- I thought someday you would realise how you had ruined your life by spending it alongside… me. You could do so much better, and yet…”
“I’m sure there are men out there, wizards or not, that are less frightened at the idea of love than you are, Remus. But they’re surely not you, because they’re not as funny, or smart, or witty, or sensible, or great as you. I’d probably get bored of them within the hour and then I’d be lost because you wouldn’t be beside me. The only man I want is you. No one else. You drill that into your head or next time you try to pull a stunt like this I’ll kill you.”
“Got it.” He whispered before leaning in even closer, his lips barely brushing hers. He wanted to be sure she was okay with this; he wanted to be absolutely sure he hadn’t completely messed up their relationship but for that he needed her to confirm it; to accept his apology. She did, sealing their lips desperately, trying to transmit everything she had just said but with a kiss. She had been so terrified that the only way to have him in her life would be through meetings to discuss missions and war plans; that she would never get to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him after a rough full moon again. “You wouldn’t actually kill me, right?” 
“No, but I would tell James to punch ten times harder.”
“Please don’t, he’s got a sick hook.”
“Then you better behave.”
She kissed him again, deeper this time. Their lips moved synchronised, familiar with each other; her hands travelled all the way up to his hair while his circled around her waist, bringing her closer. Chest against chest, with her legs propped up into his lap, they stayed like that for a long time before Remus laid her down on the sofa.
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Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*
*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.
Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:
as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)
while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates
Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)
That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:
***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.
I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***
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Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.
But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?
Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:
C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?
Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*
Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:
A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice
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A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…
Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:
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C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?
He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.
Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.
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A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*
And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:
SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed
(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)
I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?
"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.
In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.
And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.
So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.
If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.
"Then nothing has to change, does it?"
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linghxr · 3 months
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Advice I would give my past self about studying Chinese
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Recently I've been reflecting on my Chinese learning journey and how far I've come. If I could go back in time, these are 10 things I would tell my past self. A few are specific to Chinese, but most can apply to any language
It will get so much easier to learn new characters. I remember feeling overwhelmed because learning new characters was a painful process. Now when I encounter a new character, I can remember it with relative ease—it’s just a new combination of familiar components.
Don't feel bad about having uneven development in different skills. My listening and reading are significantly stronger than my speaking and writing. It’s super common and nothing to be ashamed of.
The best way to get over being too embarrassed to speak is to experience some embarrassment and realize it’s not a big deal. I used to be so afraid of making mistakes that I would avoid speaking in class. It was only by being forced to speak that I got over it. I'm much better for it!
It’s impossible to learn everything, and time is limited. You have to prioritize. You probably don’t need to know how to say “pawnshop” in Chinese, and trying to jam your head full of 100 words you saw once won’t work. They won’t stick.
It will actually be harder to read pinyin than to read characters at some point. When I helped a friend with a script for her Chinese class, I really struggled because she had written it entirely in pinyin. I had to write out the characters to read without stumbling! I know characters are daunting for beginners, but trust me, you will get used to them.
If you haven’t practiced or learned something, of course you won’t be good at it. I remember feeling so frustrated trying to navigate Chinese websites for the first time. In retrospect, obviously, I was going to struggle with something completely new to me!
If something isn’t sticking, move on. Why waste time on a word that’s not clicking when you could be learning five new ones? It will only result in unnecessary frustration. So unless you need to know it for your class or a proficiency test, drop it and move on.
Don’t beat yourself up when you have trouble understanding music, literature, different accents, etc. These can be challenging even in your native language. Of course you’re going to struggle more in a new language.
It's worth it to pay attention to things like stroke order and tones from the start so you don't form bad habits. Don’t stress about get it perfect, but it’s easier to do it right the first time than to have to correct your bad habits in the future.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed by all that you don’t know, learn how to express yourself with what you do know. It’s truly its own skill that requires practice. After all, in life you can’t always stop and pull out a dictionary.
I started learning Chinese a really long time ago, but I became more serious about it in 2018, so 5 1/2 years ago. I'm very proud of how far I've come, but I still have a long way to go! I look forward to revisiting this post in another couple of years 😊
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octoberclidan · 5 months
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Okay, That's It
Request: hii! i have a request for a fan fic abt dean ♡ so basically reader and dean are really good friends (they've had crushes on each other for years now) and basically, the reader.. wasn't doing well for months and dean noticed that. and one day he's like "that's it" and asks her about it. after some time she just breaks down in front of him and asks him for a simple hug.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Masterlist
Story:
"You all like [Y/N], right?" Dean asked the room. He was currently reclining on an armchair in his Dean Cave, just finishing up a movie night with Sam, Cas, and Jack.
"Of course", Sam said as he started to gather up the empty packets from all of their movie snacks.
"Yes, she is very good at researching and has proven to be a valuable asset on some of our cases", Cas nodded.
"I haven't met her, but from what I've heard, I think I'd like her", Jack smiled back at Dean.
"Why?" Sam asked, pausing his tidying to listen to what Dean had to say. He knew Dean liked [Y/N], as in liked liked her, but he also knew that Dean wasn't about to ask for everyone's opinions on whether he should finally ask her out or not.
"I was just thinking that maybe she could stay here for awhile. I mean, you're right Cas, she's great at research, so imagine what she could do with all of the bunker's books at her finger tips?"
"That makes sense", Cas said.
"You want her to move in with us so she can do research?" Sam raised an eyebrow at him. [Y/N] had quite a lot of the bunker's books on loan at her own place, Dean had even made her a library card as a joke once. She lived quite a long drive away from the bunker, but on gaps between hunts, Dean was quick to volunteer to drive books to her that he thought she might find useful. They'd met a couple of years previous when they'd rescued her from a wendigo that she'd been 'researching' just a little bit too closely. Her research notes had impressed the boys, and they'd called her on their next hunt to ask if she'd ever dealt with vodníci before. Surprisingly, she had very useful notes on how to free the souls that the vodníci had trapped, and the Winchesters were able to save everyone as a result. Ever since then, they'd called her whenever they faced a monster that they were unfamiliar with. She usually had useful knowledge on it.
However, Sam had noticed that Dean had taken to calling and texting her on every hunt, finding some sort of excuse to ask for her help. He'd called him out on it several months ago when Dean had asked her for help with a werewolf case. Dean had tried to defend himself by telling Sam that you can never be too careful, and that it might not be a normal werewolf, but Sam just found it amusing. Dean had progressed to calling and texting her in between hunts, under the pretence that he had a research question, but then letting the conversation morph into non-supernatural topics. They'd become closer, or at least he felt so, and as a result, Dean knew that there was something off with her for the last month or so. She'd been taking longer to answer his texts, she'd been quieter on phone calls, and the last time he drove to her house, just a week ago, she hadn't invited him in to talk about the books like she usually had. He was worried.
"Yeah", he shrugged. "Don't you feel like this team is one person short? I mean, Cas, you're not always around. And Jack, you're still learning. Sam, you're good at research, but you can't research well when we're out hunting something. If [Y/N] was officially on our team and lived here, then we could really rely on her while we're out there".
"Yeah.. but doesn't she have a job, Dean? In her own town? I thought she worked in a community college?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, she does", Dean sighed, before pushing himself up out of the chair. "Well, goodnight". He grabbed a couple of unopened snacks before leaving the room without another word. Sam chuckled as he finished tidying up, and both Cas and Jack looked at him with confused expressions.
"What's funny?" Cas asked, and Sam chuckled more at their cluelessness.
"Dean.. he uh, he likes [Y/N]".
"Yes, how is that funny?"
"No, like he likes her, as in has a crush on her".
"Oh", Jack nodded in understanding. "Is that why he wants her to move here?"
"Yep", Sam smacked his 'p', showing off his dimples in the process. "But don't mention it to him, he'll get embarrassed. If he brings up [Y/N] again, just pretend you don't know about his crush on her". He also happened to know that [Y/N] had a crush on Dean. He'd seen their interactions over the years and could tell that they both wanted the other, but she was too shy and Dean didn't believe that someone like her could want someone like him. Sam was hopeful now that Dean was thinking of asking to move in, that he might becoming open to the idea of admitting his feelings for her.
***
"Hi, Dean". Jack smiled as he walked into the bunker's library the next morning. "What are you looking for?"
"Hey kid. Uh, just something interesting". Dean had several cardboard boxes full of books up on the table, books that weren't used regularly enough to take up space on the shelves. He didn't think that any of them had even opened these boxes before.
"For [Y/N]?" Jack asked as he walked over to stand beside Dean and looked at the pile that Dean had made so far.
"Yeah, yeah I'm gonna go see her".
"Again?"
"Yeah, Jack. Again. When you have friends, you can see them more than once a month if you want to". Dean was not in a good mood. He'd texted [Y/N] after his movie night the night before but she hadn't responded. She'd seen it, so he knew she was alive, but she hadn't replied. He'd messaged her again that morning and tried to call, but she hadn't answered again. He'd left a voicemail, making up something on the spot about how he'd found an interesting book in the bunker and that he'd drive it over to her, so now he was stressed, trying to find a book that was interesting enough to serve as his excuse.
"Are you going to ask her to move in here?" Jack asked and Dean sighed, running his hand down his face in frustration.
"I don't know, Jack. What's with all the questions?"
"I'd just like to meet her", he shrugged and Dean sighed, feeling a little guilty for being short with Jack when he hadn't done anything wrong.
"Yeah. She'd like you", Dean chuckled, imagining [Y/N] dealing with Jack's 50,000 questions.
"Oh", Jack scrunched up his face. "But she should like you, not me".
"You can like more than two people, Jack. You like all of us, don't you?"
"No!" Jack quickly responded. "I don't have a crush on anyone", he shook his head.
"What? Who said anything about a crush?" Dean leaned away from the table and crossed his arms, frowning at Jack.
"Sam said", Jack froze, remembering his instructions not to bring it up, and he quickly cleared his throat. "Nothing. Sam didn't say anything, I.. I just got mixed up". He nodded, happy with his explanation, and slowly and awkwardly stepped away from Dean before turning around and walking out of the room. Dean stared after him, wondering what exactly Sam had said to him, then continued searching until he found a book that listed several creatures and artefacts he'd never heard of before.
***
Dean was nervous when he got to [Y/N]'s front door. He was always a little bit nervous going to see her, but this time he was worried on top of it. He didn't know if she was even going to answer the door, considering she still hadn't responded to his texts or voicemail. He had his excuse tucked under his arm, and he took a deep breath to make himself relax. He told himself he was being stupid, he shouldn't be worked up about going to visit a friend. He was Dean Winchester. Monsters, demons, even angels were scared of him, he shouldn't be scared of a woman who he happens to be attracted to. He shook his head and forced himself to ring her doorbell. When he didn't get any response, he knocked on the door and tried to peer through a small window beside the door.
"[Y/N]?" He called out as he knocked on the door again. "Come on, open up, I know you're in there. It's Dean". He continued to knock until he heard the door unlock on the inside, and it slowly opened to reveal [Y/N], though he took a moment to recognise her. She had bags under her eyes, her hair was a mess, and she'd almost definitely been crying. She didn't open the door fully, just enough for her to stare straight ahead at his chest, avoiding eye contact. His gaze softened as he took in her appearance. He mentally scolded himself for not getting her to let him in the last time he visited. He knew something was wrong and he'd let it go on for too long. He wasn't good with feelings, or emotional conversations, but he wasn't going to let her be alone any longer like this.
"Okay, that's it. You're gonna open the door, you're gonna let me in, and then you're going to tell me what's going on with you. Got it?" She nodded slowly, still not looking at him, but opened the door wider, stepping aside and quickly wrapping her arms around herself in a weak attempt to hide her appearance. Dean wasted no time in stepping forward and closing the door behind him. He looked down at her and put a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't look up at him. He gently squeezed her shoulder before letting go, and hooked his finger under her chin to pull her face up, making her look at him. "Can we sit down somewhere and talk?" He asked and she nodded, pulling away from him and walking into her kitchen, where she sat down at the table. He followed her in and set the book down on the table before sitting down opposite her. "Okay, go on". He nodded at her and she took a deep, but shaky breath.
"I got fired".
"What? When?"
"About six weeks ago", she sniffed. Dean knew how much she loved her job, so it made sense to him now why she was so upset. He didn't know why she hadn't told him though.
"Why? They couldn't have someone better than you". He reached over to grab her hand, and she squeezed it in a thank you.
"I kind of missed a few days. I got caught up in researching Garth's vegetarian werewolves a couple of months ago. I lost track of time and when they called to ask where I was, I panicked and made up some stupid excuse that they didn't buy. They said that was my first and only warning. Then I.. I kind of did it again six weeks ago, I just got caught up on a research trip and didn't have cell service so I couldn't let them know that I wasn't going to make it to work. They fired me when I was finally able to call them back the next day".
"Shit... I'm so sorry [Y/N]", he squeezed her hand comfortingly. "Why didn't you tell me?"
She looked up at him at this, slightly confused. "I didn't think you cared that much about my personal life. We usually just talk about research". She wiped her sleeve against her eyes as a few tears had escaped during her explanation. "And I didn't really want to tell anyone, I don't like people knowing that I'm struggling".
"Of course I care about your personal life. You've become a good friend of mine", he shook his head. "You can always tell me about anything that you're struggling with. You've really taken this job loss hard, haven't you?"
She shrugged and looked away from him. "It didn't exactly pay a lot", she took her hand away from him and wrapped her arms around herself again. "It wasn't really enough to save much. I'm running out of money and I haven't been able to find another job, this is a small town".
Dean leaned back in his chair. He felt sad for her, he knew that she had loved her job, but he couldn't help but see this as a good thing for his desire for her move in with him, one less obstacle in the way. He knew that was selfish, so he quickly pushed that though to the back of his head as she continued. "I just feel so lost. I don't know what I'm supposed to do", she wiped away another tear. "I'm not going to be able to pay my rent this month, and I don't have any family, I have nothing now". The last part of her sentence was slightly difficult to hear as she started to cry, and Dean's heart broke for her. "I'm sorry", she whispered.
"Hey, no. It's okay, you don't have to be sorry. Do you want me to get you a glass of water? Or anything?"
"Could you..." She sniffed and then shook her head. "I mean, no thank you, I'm okay". The tears that continued to stream down her cheeks did not agree with her words.
"You're not okay, what were you going to ask me for just there? Anything you want, just name it, I can get it for you". He stood up and stepped around the table before kneeling beside her. He took her hand and rested it on her lap, pulling her around to look down at him.
"I was going to ask for a hug".
Dean looked up at her and smiled. She sounded so innocent, she was such a nice light in his world. "Come here then". He stood up and pulled her up with him, immediately pulling her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he could feel her take a deep breath against his flannel. He pressed his lips into her hair before resting his chin on the top of her head. He held her tight, wanting her to feel secure in his arms. They stood there for several moments, and Dean closed his eyes, letting himself enjoy their closeness.
After her breathing became less shaky, he gently moved his hands up to her shoulders and pulled back from her a little bit. "[Y/N], I uh, I actually wanted to ask you something. And before you say anything, I decided to ask you this before now, you can ask Sam, I talked about it with him and the others back in the bunker last night, so this isn't me trying to give you a handout or anything". She looked up to him a look of confusion.
"What were you going to ask?"
Dean gulped and scratched the stubble on his jaw nervously before brushing a tear off her chin. "I was going to ask if you wanted to try staying at the bunker for awhile, like if you wanted to try being on Team Free Will on a more full time basis. The research you do... [Y/N] it's so valuable to the world, and you're not paid anything for it. You shouldn't have to keep a low paying job just to support your research. I know you liked your job, but I also know you love your research even more. You can't give that up, not for anything. You save people with it". She gave him a small smile, and he smiled back before continuing. "You know my friend Charlie, right? I've told you about her? Well, she gave me and Sam a hacked credit card. We don't have to worry about money at all. And, we have a bunch of rooms in the bunker that you could choose from, and a seemingly endless supply of research material", he chuckled at her as her eyes widened at his offer. "What do you think? I mean, if you don't like it, you can always leave, but would you be interested?"
She blinked up at him, not responding at all, and he could feel his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 'Of course she wouldn't want to come live with a bunch of hunters in a windowless bunker', he thought to himself. 'She probably doesn't even think of me as a friend, she probably helps out a load of different hunters. Why the hell did I think I was in any way special? Idiot'.
"Okay", her voice was quiet but it pulled him from his thoughts, and now he was the one blinking at her.
"Okay?" He asked, slightly unsure about whether he'd heard her correctly or not.
"If you're sure you don't mind, I'd really like to join the team and see what it's like... you said you talked to Sam about it, does he mind? Do the others mind? I don't want to encroach on their space if they don't want me there".
"[Y/N], I can assure you, they'd love to have you there. I think you'd be a huge help on our cases".
"Then... okay", she breathed out.
He grinned at her and she smiled back at him, feeling excitement instead of sadness for the first time in six weeks. He pulled her back into a hug and then chuckled. "I have to warn you, Jack really wants to meet you, but he's going to have a million questions for you. And we also have a movie night at least once a week, we take turns choosing so you'll have to suffer through one of Sam's choices every four... no, now every five weeks. Yeah, we definitely need you on the team".
The end
Dean Winchester taglist: @123passwort @janineb86 @k-slla @lyarr24 @candy-coated-misery0731 @jackles010378 @hobby27 @pizzagirlxnsfwx
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heeliopheelia · 7 months
Text
"everything reminds me of you and it's driving me insane" (jay x fem! reader)
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genre: smut word count: 0.7k requested by @forjongseong ♡
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
a/n: the last fic for the event!! i had so much fun guys, will definitely do it again once we hit another milestone!! nana babe i'm sorry it took me so long 🤍
masterlist
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The floor is already drenched when Jay pulls out his thick fingers out of you. Letting go of his firm grip on your hips, he pulls away slightly to smirk at your trembling thighs as you struggle to keep yourself up on your feet.
"Fuck!" You gasp breathlessly, fingers clutching on the edge of the marble kitchen counter for your dear life.
If somebody told you that this is how the party would end – with your ex boyfriend fingering you stupid in the apartment that the two of you used to share together, you doubt you'd ever believe them... Or maybe you would?
With the way your heart increased three times on its pace when you first saw Jay after almost half a year of being deprived from his ridiculously handsome face – it's actually quite obvious you'd bend to every will of the man you're still shamefully in love with.
Even though you were the one who initiated the break up in the first place.
"Couldn't wait to get my hands on you, sweetheart," Jay mutters, closing the distance between the two of you again and grabbing you by your waist to pull you flush to his clothed bulge.
"Oh, really?" You scoff quietly, fingers brushing the sweaty hair away from your forehead as you turn your head to him over your shoulder. "Could've fooled me with this bitch hanging on your neck the entire night."
"No need to be so jealous. She could never be you," he chuckles underneath his breath and before you know his pants and underwear are dropped to the floor and he rubs his hard cock over your swollen folds. You moan simultaneously when he finally slides it inside of you, bottoming out slowly. Jay's knees feel as if made of cotton when he feels you clenching around him and now he's damn sure that you were literally molded just for him. "Missed this pussy so much," he breathes out, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
He's got you caged in between his arms and the counter as his deep thrusts rock your body into the cold surface. You're already dizzy from the two previous orgasms you've had couple minutes before, and now as you listen to his ragged breaths into your neck, all of your senses are completely blocked out in the favor of him.
The way he fucks you is so messy, so needy and it's thrilling and it's so Jay that you can't help but let your tongue run loose and spill your guts to him right then and there.
"There hasn't been a day that I didn't think about you. Everything reminds me of you and it's driving me insane. Even that stupid orchid I've seen on my way back home in a flower shop today," you confess breathlessly, voice stuttering with every thrust of his. Jay immediately catches the reference to your second date when he bought you the pink flower you desired so much. "We were so good together, weren't we, Jay?"
He groans, grabbing your hips a little firmer. "Shit, that we were, sweetheart."
Your abused hole squelches and drips after each time he bottoms out and you let out a whimper, body draping over the counter as you grip the wooden cupboard with your shaky hand. The sound only spurs him on to fuck you even harder, better, his eyes clenching tightly as he relishes in your small whines of his name. His fingers dig into the plush of your hips as he draws his body into you from behind, panting loudly and pushing you even further into the counter.
When your walls tighten nearly painfully around him, that's when he knows your third orgasm begins to build up. He snaps his hips faster and with you calling his name over and over again, you eventually let go and feel the hot pleasure swallow your tired body again.
It's impossible for him to last any longer with you falling apart before him, your doughy cunt throbbing around him mercilessly, and Jay cums hard, body slouching on top of yours as he holds you tightly with face pressed to your neck.
And maybe, just maybe you're not the only one who's been having a hard time moving on from your irrational decision all these months ago.
And you're sure of that when you feel his arms turning your body around, eyes looking softly into yours before he pulls on your chin and plants a hungry kiss on your wet lips.
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permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @yoongspi @nichoswag @s00buwu @dazzlingligth
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allllium · 3 months
Note
Hey, can I make a Matt x Reader request. Reader is a doctor and lives with Matt one evening Matt comes home with Spiderman who needs help. You become surrogate parents for Peter and think about adopting him since he's a son to both of you anyway.
Peter
~ Sorry this took me so long to get to. I had something written at some point but ended up scraping it 😭
~ Fluff, Maybe a little angst bc Peter is hurt at the beginning?
~ WC: 1,536
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~ Matt brings home a kid ~
Being with Matt you've learned always to expect the unexpected. Matt has a heart of gold, always doing everything he can to help those in need. It's a good thing you're the same way. You wouldn't be a doctor if you didn't have the urge to help people but sometimes Matt, in your opinion, helps people that don't help him far too often.
However, one thing you didn't expect was for your wonderful boyfriend to come home with a kid. Okay maybe not kid, he's about sixteen years old, but that's still way younger than you or Matt. And way too young to be doing what he does.
When Matt brings home the kid, the first thing you do is freeze for a second. Who is this kid? How did he get hurt? How does Matt know him? Why is he in your apartment bleeding? 
You're quickly pushed out of your thoughts when Matt helps the kid onto the couch and looks to you for help. You immediately jump in, using your doctor skills to the best of your ability. Both he and your boyfriend stay silent the whole time. Matt stays sitting in an armchair to the side, obviously stressed by whatever happened. 
It takes a while to patch up the kid, whose name you still don't know, but as soon as you're finished, he falls asleep on the couch and allows you time to discuss this strange situation with Matt. 
Why is it that he stays silent the whole time you're busy helping the kid but the second you're ready to talk he runs off to the kitchen, not exactly running off as the kitchen is right there, but still?
“Matt. Explain?” You don't know what to say or ask. A million questions are running through your head as you follow him to the kitchen. 
“His name's Peter.” He hesitates to continue. “He's spiderman, that's how he got hurt.” 
“What? He's a child!” How the hell is a teenager Spiderman? 
“Yeah, I know that's why I've been keeping an eye on him.” He says as if it's the most casual thing ever. As if he didn't just bring me a beaten-up sixteen-year-old to fix up. 
“What do you mean keeping an eye on him? Do you listen to him?” You turn back to the living room and collapse in a chair. 
“No, he lives too far away. I just mean that I call him and check up on him.” His voice is quiet, careful not to wake the sleeping kid. “I met him a few weeks ago.” 
“When you were in Queens? Is that why you left?” A couple of weeks ago, Matt spent a few days in Queens for a new client he met. He never said much about it and you never asked. You never wanted to invade his clients' privacy and you weren't sure he could tell you about it anyway. 
“Yeah actually.” He doesn't say anymore and for some reason, you don't ask. Not sure if you want to know the reasons this kid, Peter you now know, could be in danger. You know Matt can handle himself so most of the time you try not to worry yourself but this is a young kid, that you can almost guarantee doesn't have anywhere near the amount of fighting training Matt had. 
After a few hours of making sure he was okay on the couch, and convincing Matt to stay in for the night, you both decide to head to bed. 
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You wake up the next morning to loud crashing noises from the kitchen. You automatically know it's not Matt because one he is a terrible cook and two he is still lying in bed with an arm over your waist. So Peter must have woken up from his injury-induced slumber and started cooking because he's hungry? 
You reluctantly throw yourself out of bed. Despite getting plenty of sleep you feel anything but well rested. As you head out of the bedroom you see Peter wearing the old clothes Matt put out for him and trying to cook something in the kitchen. From the smell of it, he's probably not the best cook either.
“Good morning.” You greet him, coming into the kitchen and leaning against the counter. He whips around to look at you in surprise, he clearly doesn't have the same super senses as Matt.
“Oh uh, good morning!” He tries his best to sound cheerful but his voice has an underlying tone of shock and awkwardness. “Sorry for waking you up. I know taking of someone you don't know so late at night isn't the best, so I thought I would make you and Matt some breakfast to try and make up for it. I'm Peter by the end.” You stay silent as he falls into an awkward ramble. 
“Hi Peter I'm y/n. And you don't have to worry about making it up to us, we were happy to help. Plus I deal with this stuff all the time.”
“Right, you're a doctor! Matt told me about that.” He puts down all the stuff he was “cooking” and leans along the counter with you. 
“Oh, he talks about me?” 
“Well, it was that or all the people we've fought as masked superheroes.” He shrugs. 
“Superhero? Aren't you a little young to be fighting like you do?” 
“Maybe but if I can help people why wouldn't I?” 
“You could always be selfish and use your powers for yourself.” You tell him out of both curiosity and the fact that if you had any kind of powers you can't guarantee you would use them to help anyone else.
“Yeah, I guess.” And just like you both stop talking. Waiting in silence for Matt to wake up before you order breakfast.
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Peter stayed with you guys for a little over a week while you made sure he was fully healed from his injuries. Before long he was going back home to Queens to whoever he lives with. You know from one brief conversation that his parents are gone, he never said how or who he stays with now but that's not any of your business. 
He comes over almost every week now for dinner, one of the only nights a week you and Matt cook instead of ordering takeout. You have the feeling Matt has imprinted on Peter, kind of like a baby duck. Maybe it's because they’re so similar. They can relate to each other in a way Foggy and Karen can’t. Well, Frank can but he and Matt don’t exactly get along. 
Today is one of the days that he’s gonna be coming over for dinner. You and Matt are in the kitchen making a new pasta dish. 
“So I wanted to ask you a question?” Matt suddenly tells you, while in the middle of stirring the pasta sauce. 
“You know you don't have to ask to ask a question right?” It doesn't matter how many times you say it, Matt will always warn you before asking a question. Most likely because he's worried about bothering you.
He lets out a deep chuckle. “I know, sweetheart, but I'm worried you'll say no.”
“I doubt it. What is it?”
“You know how Peter lives with his aunt right?” He pulls the finished sauce off the stove so he can put his full attention on you.
“I knew he lived some family member, yes. Why?” You’re very curious as to where this is going. 
“Well, she’s getting older and I thought maybe he could come and stay with us for a while.” Not what you expected him to ask.
“Matt, I would say yes to that if I could see how it would work. We don't have the room.” You shrug. You would love to help Peter out but you don’t think he would like living on the couch for at least a year. 
“That’s why I'm asking you. You always know what to do with these things.” If he means the way you freak out thinking of every possible solution and pretend to know what you’re doing then yeah, you are a master at it.
“I don't know, Matty. There is about a year and a half before he goes to college, there is no way he’ll be comfortable here for that long.”
“I know. Believe me, I’ve been thinking of a way this could work. I just don’t want him to be alone.” 
“He won’t be. Even if he can’t live here he’s always welcome.” And just by saying that you come up with the perfect idea. 
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A few weeks later it worked. Somehow everything magically fell into place. At the end of your previous conversation about it, you told Matt how great it would be if Peter could have his own apartment close to yours and magically one became available in the same building. Being sixteen, Peter obviously couldn't pay for the place himself but you were able to help out, having some extra money due to being a good doctor. 
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Matt comes up to you. “You didn’t have to do that.” 
“Eh, you’re rubbing off on me.” You grumble with a fake annoyance.
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violetrainbow412-blog · 10 months
Text
White lies [S. R]
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
word count: 4.6k
summary: you meet Spencer thanks to a nice coincidence and you become recurring chess partners, but he leaves out a small detail
taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14
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Spencer had come back to that park after a long time and, honestly, it was as quiet as he remembered it. He liked to sit there to read, watch the birds, listen to the trees hitting each other; just enjoy a moment of life. Matthew, a teenager he used to play chess with, sometimes kept him company, but he knew from his mother that he had sprained his ankle and could barely get out of his room, so those evenings it was just him and a couple of old men in a remote section of his favorite hangout.
The book he had in hand could have finished in less than ten minutes if he had wanted to, but it was one he had a particular interest in and so he was taking notes in a notebook by his side, lengthening his reading time. And besides, he had proposed to take things a little more calmly since the recovery of his leg, now that he could walk by himself, and that seemed to him a quite useful exercise.
The man was dimly aware that someone was sitting at the table next to his, but curiosity was not enough to force him to look away from the pages. It wasn't until after a while that he heard the characteristic sound of the chess pieces moving in the box that formed the board that he paid attention and noticed that the one who was settling there was a woman.
He tried not to look at you too much so as not to make you uncomfortable, but the quick scan he gave you only led him to the conclusion that you might be a college student and that you were very pretty. You were carefully arranging the pieces and once you finished, you looked around the whole park as if you were looking for something or someone, and then you took a pack of chocolates from your backpack and put it to the side of the board, somewhat disappointed that you hadn't found who you expected.
"Are you waiting for Matthew?" Spencer dared to ask. You were startled and had to ask him to repeat the question, a little afraid that a stranger had made such a pointed remark "I've seen him a couple of times eating those sweets and since he likes chess, I thought you were expecting him"
"Oh, you know him" you exclaimed, a little calmer. You were surprised by how observant the man had been, for a couple of random pieces of information had led him to the correct conclusion "I was his babysitter for a while and I ran into his mother the other day and she said he comes here in the evenings so I thought I'd come to see him”
“Too bad, he has a sprained ankle,” he informed you, with a sad grin. “Maybe he'll be back in a week or two. I'm Spencer, by the way."
"Y/N" you introduced yourself, shaking the hand the man was offering you "So you guys are friends?"
"Sometimes I play with him"
"Huh yeah?"
"Yeah. He is very good"
“I taught him,” you said, quite proud of yourself, “I hated when he asked to watch TV, and I brought all kinds of board games over to his house, until finally chess captivated him. In those years he participated in school contests so I was excited to play with him "
“Did you win some?”
“I was undefeated” you exclaimed, even more proud of yourself and smiling wistfully “But after a few years I gave it up. Matthew continued, so I thought it would be nice to dust myself off a bit,” you smiled.
You took a moment to look at the man, who might be only a few years older than you, and like him you were somewhat captivated. His long, wavy, golden hair gleamed in the sun and he seemed to wear clothes that were, if not expensive, then at least quite elegant. You looked at the stack of books and the notes scattered on the table with great interest, because frankly the only men who met all those characteristics used to be your grandfather's age and, although their talks were interesting, you couldn't get to think of them with anything more than tenderness. This person was different, almost like a sage out of a book.
You didn't know where you found the words to invite him to play with you and you didn't know why he agreed. He seemed busy when you arrived, which made you think that he might even be a teacher, but he stopped his activities to pay attention to you and that made you feel special.
"You like them? You can take some if you want. They were for Matty, but I'll buy him some more,” you said kindly, referring to the candies between you, to which Spencer nodded with a smile. You used to play with strangers all the time in that park, so you didn't think it was weird, but never one as handsome as the guy in front of you. You probably wouldn't even have dared to talk to him if he hadn't talked to you “White or black?”
“Black,” Spencer replied. You thought that maybe he was just being chivalrous to you by letting you move first, but you were also overconfident in your abilities and thought that he might feel bad if you turned out to be better.
"I'm not very good, I have to admit" you blatantly lied.
"Relax, I'm not either" he also lied. But neither of you could notice it.
The way Spencer saw the situation, he had two options: the first, demonstrate his extraordinary intelligence by beating you with a couple of moves, or the second, which was to turn off his brain for a while to give yourself a chance and lengthen the game a bit. He knew that, if he took the first option, you would most likely just smile and flatter him like everyone else did, or you might even ask him how he had done that. But Spencer was sick of being treated like a genius, despite being one, and having that label branded in his mind every place he went. He loved to learn, teach and know as much as he could on all subjects and he wasn't one bit ashamed of the abilities his mother gave him at birth, but his short experience with women led him to deduce that he had a better chance of continuing to talk to you throughout the afternoon if he would just play a little silly and pretend not to know what he was doing. And he definitely wanted to be with you that day.
It had been a while, and at some point, you moved a bishop.
Check in 4 moves if Spencer moved the rook.
He moved a pawn, you took the pawn.
Bishop takes the pawn and check in 10 moves.
He moved the knight. You moved your queen
Rook takes queen then checkmate in 5 moves.
But Spencer ignored any of the logical options his brain was giving him. He was moving pieces wrong on purpose and moving another pair well just so he could enjoy your face of concentration and victorious smiles when you made a smart move that he could have foreseen from the start of the game. He analyzed your game, you attacked hard at first, you were impulsive, but at some point you changed your modus operandi to a more calculating and strategic one, your eyebrows gave you away when you were going to make an important play.
"Check" you muttered at some point. Spencer knew how to beat you, but, I repeat, he moved badly on purpose "And that's mate"
"Oh really?" he said, pretending to be puzzled.
"Yes, you left the way clear for my bishop" you explained, with a kind tone but also somewhat condescending. It didn't seem like you wanted to make fun of him, but rather you were looking for a way to make him see his mistake, without knowing that your companion knew exactly what he had done wrong.
"Oh, it's true"
"Either way it's fine, you played excellent" you exclaimed to comfort him, while you offered him a piece of candy and smiled broadly. Spencer looked at his phone, expecting to see a message from JJ saying there was a case to attend to, but he found nothing.
"A rematch?" he said, trying his luck, to which you answered yes quite happily.
Spencer won that game and it was inevitable for both of you to wish for another game just for the tiebreaker, with you crowning yourself the winner of the evening. Between movements you took the opportunity to look at him and you would lie when you said that your cheeks didn’t feel hot from being in the presence of such a peculiar specimen. Most of the men around you behaved like cavemen, so being with someone that civilized was most pleasant.
“I have to go home, it's getting dark already,” you said, quite sad, after that third game. The candy had already run out and Spencer's book had been forgotten to the side, but you still didn't want to walk away with just the memory of those hazel eyes “But if you're ever around again, we could play… if you want."
"I'd love to" he replied, sounding quite sincere.
Would it be too daring to ask for his number? What if it had just been a nice time that arose from a coincidence? You didn't want to spoil it, or scare him away, or anything like that.
You only said goodbye saying that you hoped to see him again and he said the same thing before the two of you went off on your own, fearing you would never see each other again.
After a few days you went back to the park hoping to meet him, but you were disappointed to see the empty spot. The process was repeated a couple of times and although you were carrying books to spend the afternoon, the chess board could never be missing from your bag, keeping the hope of finding him again. Time wasn't wasted after all, as you took the opportunity to continue your schoolwork outdoors, but it saddened you to think that you probably wouldn't see Spencer again, going so far as to regret not finding a way to contact him. But whoever perseveres, reaches, and you verified it when one afternoon you finally found him sitting at the same table as the first time.
“Spencer! What a joy to see you here” you greeted him casually, as if you hadn't been going to the park repeatedly just hoping to find him.
The man apologized to you saying that his work had kept him so busy that he hadn't even had time to stop by and when you asked what he did for a living you were met with an ambiguous answer that he held a position in a government office. Not a complete lie, but not the truth either.
That's how you kept finding him around to play with him, until at some point you barely paid attention to the board to give priority to the chat. Every time you saw each other you thought, without the slightest idea of the truth, that Spencer had been practicing to improve, because sometimes out of five games you only won two. But other days you might have a perfect streak that, while it made you feel happy, allowed you to comfort your friend a little.
You had started carrying different snacks to at some point find out which one was his favorite, which turned out to be the trail mix and, truth be told, it was something you expected, as if it fit perfectly with his personality. That's how you started carrying a pack of those whenever you could, alternating it with other kinds of more substantial snacks that Spencer loved.
So it was that, during the nearly two months that Matthew was unable to go to the park, you and Spencer kept each other company. You learned that he was an avid reader that, according to your first impression of him, he had taught a few classes, that he lived alone, loved classical music, was a big fan of science fiction and science in general, in short, he was a bit of a nerd. He was always telling you interesting facts that you couldn't even have imagined and you always listened very carefully.
One day you were concentrating on your next move when his voice interrupted you. It was a very beautiful afternoon and you had decided to put on light clothes that fluttered in the wind.
“I forgot to tell you. I brought you a book” was what he had said and from his brown leather briefcase he extracted a book with a faded cover that he handed over to you with great care.
“Sylvia Plath?” you exclaimed with total emotion. You had talked about the interest you had in starting to read it in one of the last meetings, because considering Spencer a connoisseur of literature, he would probably know which book to start with "Where did you get it?"
"It was from my mother, but she won't mind if you read it"
You carefully caressed the back with your fingertips with the biggest smile on your face, feeling flushed at the obvious show of attention you were receiving.
"Thank you so much"
"It's no big deal"
"I'll give it back to you soon"
"Take the time you need" he exclaimed sweetly. He was wearing a gray knit vest and a black dot-patterned formal shirt, along with a brown tie. His hair framed his face and looked so soft it made you want to reach out and just stroke it. You had been so stunned watching him, wondering if he was a real man or not, until he reminded you that it was your turn.
You moved your queen. Check in 7 moves.
"Spencer, can I confess something to you?"
He moved his bishop. He is saved from check.
"Huh, yeah"
“These last few weeks I have had a lot of fun. I really like being with you”
He looked at you for a second, as if he was waiting for a but that never came. There was no but you just liked being with him. Reid didn't usually find many people who would enjoy his company without a work commitment involved and that you had said something like that made him feel a warmth in his heart that he couldn't describe.
"I just wanted to tell you that, no... I hope I wasn't weird"
"I like being with you, too," he exclaimed immediately, hoping you didn't get the wrong idea. "It's probably the most normal and quiet thing that happens during my week."
“You've never told me what you do at work, is it paperwork and stuff? Bureaucratic processes?
“Something like that” he lied “Most of the time it's stressful and very tiring. That's why I like coming here, with you, because it helps me relax. I used to play with a very dear friend, but I took a break because… I didn't feel like going back to it. But I have to admit that you are a wonderful player."
"I hope so. Because I'm about to beat you” you smiled, moving another piece and putting the game in check again. Spencer always knew that he had to move to win, but again he made enough mistakes to get beaten by you. Once this happened, he took his king and handed it to you with a small smile, allowing your hands to touch.
It was already getting a bit dark and that was the signal for both of you to come home.
"You won 3 out of 4," he informed you, more cheerful than he was supposed to be. "Rematch tomorrow?"
“Of course”
One of you always asked that and in the same way the other always answered yes. Come to think of it, it was pretty funny that when you lost the next afternoon you won and vice versa, allowing the promise of a rematch to always hold.
"Do you live far from here?"
You knew, of course, that there was another question implicit in it. He not only wanted to know how far away your apartment was, but he wanted to know if he could walk you there. You'd never thought of the two of you hanging out outside of your afternoon game sessions, so you told him it was about a fifteen-minute walk away, and he naturally offered to walk you there.
"You're not a serial killer or anything like that, are you?" you joked, although a part of you said it to watch his reaction and detect (if possible) any sign of a lie.
“I'm not, but it's quite right that you doubt me,” he replied, as he packed his things into his briefcase, smiling slightly as if he hadn't been offended but rather admired by a good question “From any man, really, because the largest number of serial killers is concentrated in the United States and 95% of murderers worldwide are… well, men. Possibly this is due to the levels of testosterone and the social implications of masculinity that exist, this isn’t counting the traumas that they may have developed during their lives. Speaking specifically of men with psychopathy, most of them are able to manipulate their chosen victims to gain their trust before harming them. Many murderers have been described as charming, an example of this is Ted Bundy, who even when he was arrested many women attended the trials with banners and self-declared his fans. A few years ago there was even a killer here in Virginia who would date young women and then kill them, because it was easier for him not to resist, but luckily he only took the lives of 3 women before he was caught”
Spencer wasn't even aware of the changes in expressions on your face until he looked at you, completely serious and doe-eyed.
"Should I be worried about the fact that you listed reasons why I shouldn't let you accompany me?"
“Oh no, no” he had probably scared you and it made him feel so sorry and silly “I just… like to read about it, I promise. In addition, I have a degree in psychology, sometimes we analyzed the profile of the murderers to understand their psyche. But if you don't want me to come with you, that's fine."
"I'll take the risk"
"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry"
"You didn’t do it. It just wasn't such a convincing defense” you carefully reached out to grab his arm and encourage him to walk beside you, flashing him a sweet smile.
Spencer, still feeling guilty for having rambled on about psychopaths, walked by your side for a while, and until you started talking his mood improved. A lot of times your talks didn't have to do with anything scientific and focused more on pop culture stuff that Spencer was completely unaware of. But you never teased him, but little by little you started to explain to him the plot of different movies or celebrity gossip of the moment, which was very funny for him. Your vibrant personality had him completely fascinated.
"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" you said once you got to your building. They were nice condos that Spencer had seen before.
"If something unforeseen does not arise, yes"
"Thanks for joining me. And for not being a murderer too” you laughed, still in a joking mood, while he looked at the ground a little embarrassed.
"Your lack of confidence hurts me"
"Admit that it's your fault, Doctor Reid" taking advantage of the artificial height difference that standing a few steps higher than him gave you, you leaned over to hug him goodbye and he sighed deeply as he felt the softness of your body against his "I hope you're well. Rest"
"Bye," he breathed out softly, entranced by the sight of your kind eyes looking directly at him.
He went home wishing with all his might that the job in the unit would allow him to meet you, but unfortunately it didn't, and since the two of you still hadn't thought of exchanging numbers he didn't find a way to apologize to you. He went to the park for several days in a row, but he couldn't find you anywhere and he was afraid that you wouldn't want to see him again. Had he done something wrong? Had you really believed that he could be a criminal? He probably explained to you what FBI unit he worked for and all that weird stuff he was telling you would have started to make sense.
He had already given up hope just the day you were practically running to the park, your chessboard bouncing through your bag and your breathing heavy as a sign of your poor physical condition.
You expected him to be there even with your repeated absences and when you finally arrived you noticed that around your usual table was a small group of people. You didn't know what it could be so you decided to go look too and you were surprised to discover Matty, whom it was the first time you'd seen in months, playing with nothing more and nothing less than your game partner. 
You knew Matty enjoyed playing fast chess, so a clock was sitting next to both of them, and Spencer seemed to be playing better than he ever had in his life. His eyes lasted a second to scan the positions of the pieces and another to move his own, without needing to make any effort to plan the right move.
Everyone around was impressed by the skill of the teenager and the man who, according to your deductions, had not played more than 15f minutes. After a couple more minutes Spencer smiled broadly and declared that the younger one was checkmated, drawing Matthew's complaint and collective applause for the feat.
"The boy is good, but not as good as him" an old man informed you, who apparently knew the development of these games very well.
Spencer enjoyed the cheers rather modestly for a moment, but when he caught sight of you watching him from the crowd he went completely pale.
"Hello," he hurried to greet you, getting up from his seat to approach you and causing the fan group to break up "You came."
"Yeah, I've been kind of busy with college," you sincerely apologized, letting him envelop you in a hug that took you by surprise.
"I'm glad to see you"
"But what was all that about, by the way?"
"What was what?"
"Y/N!" said Matty, rushing over to greet you. "Do you guys know each other?"
"Yeah, I would say that" you clearly noticed the young man's intention to ask the story of that, but as soon as he opened his mouth you said something else: "But will you allow me to talk to him for a second? It's adult talk," you joked, trying to tease your little friend, and then walked a few steps away, taking Spencer with you. "Do you want to explain to me how you became a chess master during my three-day absence?"
"I don't... I don't know what you're talking about"
"I saw that! You beat him so fast and Matt is very good. Have you been letting me win all this time?” you asked with a frown. You didn't sound annoyed with him, but rather surprised, and when he pursed his lips and looked at you with those sad little eyes, you knew you were right “You were lying to me! Why did you do that?”
"I didn’t want to make you feel bad"
“I'm an adult, I can handle failure” you argued. A lie, but he didn't have to know that.
“It's just that you… you looked so happy winning and I was happy to spend time with you and I figured if I played like that you'd start to get bored or think I'm a show-off. You didn't want to make a bad impression."
He had been cheating on you, yes, but now that he had explained his reasons, you thought they were really cute. Although you didn't like being treated with that kind of condescension, it would honestly have been foolish to bother you about something like that. They were just friendly games of chess, not a world championship.
"So all this time you were this clever?" you asked and he nodded sheepishly “And you still managed to lose?”
“It's easy once you get the hang of it. If you know all the possible outcomes then you also know where you shouldn't move your pieces."
"I must have looked so stupid all this time"
"No, it's not like that" he hastened to say, while one of his hands went up to your elbow and gently held it "I didn't behave like that because I think you're stupid. I think you're very smart, actually."
"So you were just pretending so we could see each other in the evenings?"
No one had ever done that for you and now you weren't even offended by it anymore, you were, how shall I put it? Touched, perhaps.
"I thought if we didn't play chess there would be no other excuse for it"
A giggle escaped your lips and although at first he thought you were mocking, the truth was the opposite.
 “You don't need to do that for us to be together, I could come to the park and just talk to you. I already told you, I like being with you” you clarified.
You two were silent for a moment and although you were calm Spencer was fiddling with his hands, apparently uncomfortable.
"There's also something else I didn't tell you" you widened your eyes slightly, waiting for him to continue "Actually, I do work for the government, but I work for the FBI in the behavioral analysis unit, that's why sometimes I disappear for so many days or…"
"That's why you know so much murder data" you hastened to say. Suddenly everything clicked together, like pieces in a puzzle "You're not a murderer, you catch murderers!”
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want to scare you."
"Oh, and it was more convenient to let me think you're a psycho," you said sarcastically and only received another amused and sorry look "Any other secrets you want to share with me, Agent Reid?"
“At the moment I only have that. But the afternoon is young, more things can come up with the passing of the hours”
You both laughed at the joke and Matthew's voice calling you snapped you out of your conversation. The teen demanded an explanation as to why his playmate and former babysitter seemed so trusting of each other, which Spencer probably hadn't explained to him yet.
"I just want to ask you one thing"
"And what is?"
“Play a real game with me. No cheating, no tricks"
"Rematch?" he said, as was already your tradition, and you smiled widely.
You walked back to the table taking his arm and after summarizing a few months of history to Matthew the two of you finally got to play. Spencer beat you in less than 5 minutes, but the satisfaction you felt finding out that he was so smart, as well as handsome, was completely worth your loss.
You only managed to beat him after half a year, because from that moment on Spencer was so distracted by your face that it was hard for him to concentrate on the plays. And when you became his girlfriend, all you had to do was steal a few kisses from him to ensure your victory, which, honestly, didn't bother him in the least.
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peachsayshi · 3 months
Note
If you feel up to it could you pretty please do 68. Character A kissing the Character B and then pulling away because Character B’s too shocked to respond, but then Character B’s pulling them back in and kissing them hard with Nanamin?
➳  minors / ageless / blank blogs dni
⥽ notes: hi anon! I hope you enjoy this little drabble. thank you for being so patient regarding your request! I know I take a long time to fulfill them >.< tension; nanami and reader are best friends & nanami has a big fat crush on her; unrequited (ish); shy nanamin; jealous nanami
"what do you think?" you chirp, twirling in front of the mirror.
nanami swallows the lump in his throat, his cheeks burning like the surface of the sun as he takes in the slope of your curves hidden underneath the sinful black dress you are wearing which clings to your body like a second skin.
he sighs quietly and immediately drops his gaze towards the ground as he presses his thumb nervously into the palm of his hand.
"you look..." he answers but quickly clears his throat to even out the shakiness in his voice. he taps his foot anxiously, fidgeting in place as he remains seated on the edge of the bed. "you look beautiful..."
he tries to catch your reaction from underneath his golden eyelashes, but you are busy nitpicking at the straps clinging over your shoulders, and readjusting the fabric so it doesn't bunch up in odd places.
"you sure it isn't too..." you inquire, mindlessly running your hands along the outline of your figure which only makes your best friend twitch in his pants. "revealing?"
the blonde scratches the back of his head, unsure what to do with his hands since he can't keep still. he stands up from his seat to approach you, maintaining a friendly distance but is now taking you in fully as he meets your reflection in the mirror.
"you look great," he admits with a hint of frustration, "and you looked great in the last three dresses that you wore as well..."
he reads every thought that crosses your mind through the adorable expressions you make. but is it good enough? he catches, when you purse your lips to contemplate the dress again.
it's good enough for me, he replies in his head. you're perfect to me.
"I don't get why you're trying so hard," he mumbles with a hint of indignation,
"because you know long how I've waited for this..."
his stomach churns at the thought.
you've had a crush on that white haired idiot since high school. it was bad enough that nanami had to spend most of his teenage years listening to you "oh" and "ah" over him, but your interactions with satoru gojo were always few and far between. he didn't think he would have to worry about anything ever happening but recently you have both been working on missions together, and over the last couple of weeks nanami started noticing a little spark between you both.
it scared him.
your best friend has been in love with you for as long as he can remember. all his previous relationships ended after they met you (a fact he consciously kept a secret), because all his partners used to point out his extremely obvious feelings to his face.
he's tried to confess his feelings for you multiple times over the years, but circumstances got in his way.
nanami and you have a history. a history of ups and downs, of weaving your lives into each other as easily as the air your breathe. he's sat through conversations like this with you before, held back his tongue as he watched you casually date one person after the other, and was the shoulder you cried on when you went through your first real heartbreak.
but he's never felt threatened by the others before - at least, not in this way.
you didn't harbor feelings for them the way you did satoru gojo.
you quirk your brow at nanami through the reflection, "I'm putting myself out there," you remark teasingly, "who knows, I might even get lucky!"
the thought of his superior's hands all over you, picturing that smug mouth capturing your own makes nanami wince in disgust.
"you know I can't fucking stand the guy, right?" he pouts, the front of his brows furrowing with disappointment. "I thought we agreed that we would only see people that the other would approve of. unless my opinion no longer carries any weight..."
you spin on your heel to face him and chuckle adorably in a way that makes his chest tighten, and forcing a blush to kiss the tips of his cheekbones
"kento, you know I care about what you think, but you've never approved of any of the men that I've been interested in..." you retort, while casually placing your hand on his shoulder and giving him a squeeze.
"of course I didn't approve - none of them were good enough for you," he insists seriously, the tone of his voice puzzling you.
"oh?" you question with intrigue, taking a small step closer into his frame. "and who is suppose to be good enough for me then?"
his heart rapidly beats, making his chest rise and fall as he holds your stare. "I..." he mumbles, the heat on his face unbearable now, "I don't know...but it sure as hell wasn't them...and it especially isn't gojo..."
"lighten up," you reply, dropping your hand from his shoulder to playfully poke his rib. "you're getting all worked up for no reason..."
"you've had a thing for this guy for eight years..."
"and?"
"so," he panics, "it's a big fucking deal to me."
your eyes widen in surprise. "but...why, it's...it's just a date-"
he shakes his head, tilting his chin down as he runs his fingers through the strands of his blonde locks.
"ken," you whisper under your breath, your face falling into concern. "what's going on? why are you so upset?"
when he doesn't reply you seal the gap of space, bringing both your hands to the fabric of his soft grey tee and squeezing the material.
"c'mon, talk to me," you nudge, "you know you can tell me anything."
he shakes his head again, bringing one hand to circle around your wrist as he seeks out comfort by tracing his finger on the back of your palm.
"I can't," he confesses, the depth of his voice sending a tremor down your spine.
"okay, now you're actually worrying me," you profess, tucking two fingers underneath his chin to tilt his face towards you.
nanami closes his eyes, "I don't..." he murmurs, "I don't want to ruin anything..."
"ruin?" you puff out in shock, even smiling uncomfortably at his odd statement. "ruin what exactly-"
he leans in then, submitting to his will to find your lips. he presses his mouth firmly but gently against your own, his hands searching for your waist as you melt into his touch. his heart sings when he tastes how sweet you truly are, sliding his tongue greedily along your own when he feels you part your lips. the kiss is so soft, it makes him spiral into a lustful haze but he pulls away hastily once he realizes that he's succumbed to his impulses.
nanami loosens his grip.
"shit," he hoarsley groans, "I'm...I'm so sorry..."
he glances back up to your shocked response, your body frozen in place.
"It's just...it's just that I saw how you pined for him," he mumbles, fighting with his mind to unravel his jumbled thoughts. "I saw how you pined for him, while....I was pining for you. "
the silence lingers uncomfortably.
"this...this isn't easy for me. telling you this...is hard because we are so close..." nanami exhales to steady his breath, "I don't want to screw us up," he acknowledges. "you mean so much to me, but...but I'm worried that loving you the way that I do is going to fuck things up between us, and I don't want to ruin what we have..."
your fingers lightly pull at his shirt - an indication that you are hanging on to every last vulnerable word.
"I love you. I always have, and I'm asking you, just this once, to please...reconsider..."
you simply blink, contemplating his words thoughtfully but to nanami's dismay you remain tight lipped.
"I know this seems out of the blue. I don't expect you to reciprocate and I don't want you to assume that I consider myself the right guy for you either. You deserve to be with someone who dotes on you, who returns your love tenfold..." the corner of his mouth pulls into a sad grin, as if he's accepted defeat. "I know he's the guy you always wanted, but...I'm just asking for one chance..."
he tries to inch away to give you some room, but you maintain your hold on his shirt as you tug him back in.
"I think," you dreamily sigh, "I think I need a little more convincing..."
you kiss him hard, with a feverish desire that you didn't even know existed until it was ignited by his own lips. nanami accepts the kiss eagerly, his arms locking around your waist, while your own circle his neck. you hold each other in a tight embrace, refusing to let the other go.
nanami stumbles back when you step forward, until the back of his calves hit the the frame of your bed and he finds himself collapsing onto the plush mattress. your body sinks on top of his, your legs straddling over his strong muscles as you continue to draw out the long, heated kiss. years of desperation manifesting through nibbles and gasps, with you both swallowing the sounds of your mutual desire.
when you finally pause to catch your breath, your bodies are intimately intertwined, your lips lingering over the other as your eyes finally meet.
so familiar.
so safe.
so very warm.
(requests are closed)
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eyra · 9 months
Note
I hope you’ll forgive my selfishness, but I am dying to ask: What did Remus think the first time he saw Sirius in Beneath a Big Blue Sky??
today is your lucky day. I've mentioned a few times that I've dabbled in the possibility of one day writing more bits and pieces in the Beneath a Big Blue Sky world. whether or not this will ever all see the light of day I'm not sure, but since you asked, I'll share a little snippet of Remus and Sirius meeting for the first time - from Remus's point of view.
enjoy 🐑🐑 x
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“Mr Lupin, is it?”
Christ.
Remus nods slowly, shaking the other boy's hand. "If you like," he mutters. If I must be, he thinks. What a mess. What an absolute pain in the arse. "Two strong lads," Lyall had asked the agency for, and Remus knows because he was in the next room listening, and still smarting over the fact that his old dad wanted to hire help anyway. "We'll be reet," Remus had insisted, shaking out his left arm in proof that his shoulder was mostly healed, which it was. They would've managed: he still had his other arm, and all the ewes looked in good health so far, and bringing in two strangers to help run the season seemed like a fine waste of money to Remus and something they'd not done since he'd turned fifteen and proven that he was good and capable of handling just as much work as Lyall during the lambs, and he'd felt all kinds of embarrassed when Lyall had implied that this year he might need some help. As if he were now a problem to be solved, or somehow less of a man this year than he was last year, and certainly less than he ought to be.
But if they must get help - if Lyall must hire someone for a few months - then at the very least Remus had hoped that the workers who arrived would be up to the job. A couple of veterinary students, or something; someone who knew their way around a sheep, and it hadn't seemed too big an ask. As it is, the two boys standing dumbly in front of him on the station platform look less suited to farm work and more like they should be standing in a shop window somewhere, with their brand new boots and spotless, neatly-pressed cream trousers. Cream trousers, and all.
Remus remembers, one night in the late winter not long after the accident, being laid up in his bed in front of the fuzzy little television Hope had insisted on setting up in his room to keep him occupied during his recovery. It had a remote held together with Sellotape and a funny round aerial which didn't quite pick up the Freeview signal, and he'd been mindlessly flicking through the scant channels when he'd happened upon some reality programme or other; something about a load of toffs titting about London with daft haircuts and those cream trousers, and he wonders now if the two boys standing in front of him have seen the show, or realise how ridiculous they look.
Or at least, one of them looks ridiculous. The lanky one with the glasses and the palm that's far too smooth to have seen any real work in its life. He's still beaming down at Remus with a sort of manic smile, which sets Remus's teeth on edge - man looks insane - and then Remus lets his eyes slip away to the shorter boy standing next to him. And he's something else altogether. He's all cheekbones and soft, shoulder-length hair, the colour of Whitby jet, and it's tucked on the one side back behind his ear and then there's one pretty strand hanging loosely over his brow, and he's watching Remus uncertainly and when they make eye contact - when the noise of the four-by-four across the car park fades away to static, and the train on the platform huffs out a great cloud of smoke that Remus doesn't see - Remus feels his cheeks grow hot under his tan and something funny happens in his throat, and he thinks to himself: "Wow," and then, straightaway: "That’s bloody inconvenient."
They drive back to the farm in silence, mostly, and Remus swallows three times before asking the boy in the back seat for his name. Sirius, as it turns out; the dog star, and Remus suddenly recalls a night a decade ago when they'd been up on the fell and the air had been balmy and close and Lily had been reading out of that funny old book about the constellations. "What's that one?" Remus had muttered, pointing at a cluster of stars somewhere over the top paddock. Lily had yawned, and flicked over a few more pages. "Canis Major," she'd said around another yawn, and then: "That bright one's called Sirius, it says here," and Remus had squinted up at it, and frowned, and thought it was pretty good, as stars go. 
⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩
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tf-lover · 1 year
Text
Caption Series - Empty Bets
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"You kidding? Nah faggot I ain't giving you this back. This body was meant to fuck pussy and pass on its godlike genes, not be wasted on a fairy like you." Marcus sneered as he flexed.
Brad had a worried look in his eyes as he looked up at his own body. "Please Marcus, you can't just steal my body like that! It's not right! I put 10 years of work into looking like that, not you!"
Marcus strode up to Brad and grabbed the front of the now smaller man's clothes. He lifted him off the ground with ease, almost a foot off the floor because of their height difference. "Listen here. I'm Brad Manning now, not you. You were wasting this on being a faggot, so I'm putting shit right." He spat out. "Can't believe I was friends with a closet homo this whole goddamn time, makes me sick."
"But..." Brad could barely get a word out as he was forced to dangle off the floor. "What about us? I'm your best friend Marcus, are you really going to throw that all away over this?? I've told you so many times I'll help you workout and you always said no!"
Marcus rolled his eyes. "Well I guess you ruined that by being a fag didn't you?" There was a little flicker of sadness in his eyes, but that was soon replaced by anger. "I'm gonna miss you man, but I can't be seen around a cocksucker. Unless that cocksucker has a pair of tits!" Marcus laughed.
"Would you at least put me fucking down then asshole?" Brad scowled, too angry at Marcus to mourn the loss of their friendship.
Marcus' eyes flicked down to the front of Brad's shirt as the cogs in his mind started to turn. He still had a little lingering magic from what he used to switch them, just enough for what he was thinking of doing. "Now I'm on the outside, my old body really was a piece of crap. It would be much better with a couple of additions.."
Without any warning, Brad let out an involuntary moan as he felt his chest begin to swell outwards. Softer and larger as his nipples tingled and grew, whilst at the same time he felt his cock start to pull inwards. He wasn't an idiot, he knew what was happening to him. The long hair that flicked down in the edges of his vision all but confirmed it; Marcus was turning his old body female.
"Now, if you looked like this on the other hand... Then I could see us definitely staying friends." Marcus pulled the newly female Brad closer. "Way more than friends, if you catch my drift..."
Brad gulped. There were so many alien sensations going on in his body at the moment he barely knew how to process any of them. Least of all the sensitive tits that had his new pussy wet with every shift of his now too small t-shirt against his nipples.
"My old body you're in looks far better female, and I bet a fag like you has always wanted to know what riding your own cock would be like..." Marcus whispered. "What'd you say? Get your old friend back, and a hot boyfriend? All you gotta do is give in baby..."
"Fuck... This is such a bad idea...." Brad said as he glanced down at Marcus' bulge. The bugle that five minutes ago had been his. The bulge that he was heavily considering letting Marcus fuck the new hole between his legs with.
"That ain't a no..."
Brad's fragile willpower snapped. He reached down and started to rub his clit whilst the other hand squeezed his new sensitive chest. "Fuck me Brad, before I change my mind. If you don't make me believe we're better like this we're switching back, okay?"
Marcus, now officially Brad, grinned. "Deal baby. But you know how good this body can fuck, especially now it's straight like it was always supposed to be!"
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just-wrting · 1 year
Text
Can't Take the Hint
Title: Can't Take the Hint
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader
Summary: You're having a hard time rejecting guys, thankfully the one you're into helps you out.
Warnings: Creepy guy and smut
Word Count: 2,826
Master List
A/N: This was meant to have more scenes in it, but I've opted to save those ideas for another time. This is also only my third time writing smut so I hope it's not that bad.
“I don’t know Dave. Asking them out seems like a bad idea.”
You hear Hotch’s voice even through the closed door. You want to linger and listen, but there’s a new case. Instead, you knock gently on Rossi’s office door. Within a few seconds, it swings open and Hotch is standing in front of you.
“Garcia said she’s got a case and to come get you guys,” you say. “I’m not interrupting anything am I?”
“No, we were just finishing up. In fact, I’ll walk with you if that’s okay?” Hotch moves toward you, and you back up.
“Sure. Though I hope you don’t mind if I borrow Rossi later. I have some guy trouble that I want his advice on.”
For a split second, he frowns. It’s so quick you think you’re imagining it. You study his face intently, wondering if it was just a trick of the light. There’s no reason that he would be upset about you having guy troubles. He’s just your boss, nothing more.
“Rossi’s advice may not be great, he does have multiple divorces. I could help you.”
“That’s actually why I’d like to talk to him about it. He’s gotten used to rejection.”
You give him a soft smile. He chuckles but doesn’t say anything. You know his offer still stands if you ever need to talk to him. He’s a great boss, and you’re grateful to him for being there for you when you need it.
You do your best to pay attention as Hotch and Garcia present your next case. A couple of bodies turned up in a forest on the west coast, and the local police had no idea how they got there. They all showed various stages of decay, indicating that they had been there for a different amount of time each.
“Well, the ME states the body that had been there the longest was there for about a year. Given that there are six bodies in that area that puts us at a murder every two months,” Emily says while placing her tablet down.
“So either he’s doing something to them that takes about two months, or he’s being extra careful.” Rossi rubs his chin.
Reid leans back in his chair. “Based on the ME’s report of the most recent body, he’s most likely torturing his victims for about a month.”
“Great. Cause that’s what we need to be doing, scouring the missing persons reports for a person that could be joining the body pile,” you groan.
Granted, Garcia is lightning-fast and great at sifting through things like that, but you still think it’ll take forever. This is shaping up to be one of those cases that just takes time. Time that you don’t have to be wasting on dead ends and possibilities.
“Wheels up in thirty,” Hotch says, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Be prepared for long days.”
It’s been over an hour and everyone is just lost in thought. Occasionally someone will throw out an idea, but without doing more interviews and crime scene analysis, there isn’t much to discuss. You take the opportunity to slide into a seat across from Rossi.
“Mind if I ask you some stuff? Take your mind off the case for a second?” you ask. “I promise I’ll be quick.”
Rossi gives you a smile. “Sure thing, kid. What else is someone with as much wisdom as I, supposed to do?”
You relax muscles you didn’t realize were tense. “Besides helping others out, I’m not too sure. So there’s this guy, I see him all the time since he goes to the same breakfast place as I do, and he asked me out.”
Rossi nods. “And you aren’t sure if that’s a good choice?”
“Actually, I know it’s a bad choice. Since the day before I’d seen him with another girl. They’re obviously a thing so I told him no. The problem is that now he won’t leave me alone. I don’t know what I did wrong.”
Rossi reaches out to grab your hand. He gives it a gentle squeeze and makes sure to look into your eyes.
“Kid, you didn’t do anything wrong. A man like that is just plain creepy and probably won’t take the hint until you tell him there’s another man you're with. If you need us to, I’m sure Hotch or Morgan will gladly help you play pretend to get him to leave you alone. We’re here to help each other.”
You slowly nod. You really didn’t think you’d actually encounter one of those guys that give off the same energy that serial stalkers have, but you did. Not to mention, it was while you weren't working.
“You’re right. I’ll give it some thought during the case, but for now, that’s what needs our attention. Let’s just hope things go better than they usually do.”
Things are not going better than they usually do. Hotch paired you with him and Morgan to go to the crime scene which wouldn’t have been an issue if it wasn’t for the constant drizzle that had started well before you had landed. Nothing says ‘a great day for a walk in the woods’ like rain.
You watch as an officer slips slowly down the hill to reach where the last body was found. The whole area was slick with mud. It’d probably be fun if you were a young boy in your own backyard but as an agent hoping to get an idea of what this dump site looked like in its horrible prime, not so fun.
The rain picks up and you duck under a tree. Hotch joins you while Morgan chuckles.
“I’ll go get the umbrellas from the SUV since you two must be made of sugar. Don’t start without me.”
Shortly after Morgan walks off, another officer approaches you. He sticks his hand out for you to shake.
“You must be Agent Hotchner and Agent (L/N),” he says while giving you a large smile. “Do you need an umbrella? I have one in the car.”
“Oh no thanks. Agent Morgan is returning with the ones he went to get. I can see him now.”
The officer’s smile wavers, but stays firm on his face. “Well, (L/N), I’m Officer Mike Morris. If you need anything, anything at all, let me know right away and I’ll help you.”
With that, the officer leaves. Hotch looks at you with an odd look on his face. You can’t quite place the emotion that’s behind his eyes.
“Here’s the umbrella. You two can share it because I’m not letting (L/N) pull me down into the mud.”
Morgan gets a head start down the hill. You watch him complete the task with ease, and you can’t help but be a bit envious. Sure you can take down grown men, but Morgan makes most physical feats look easy.
“(Y/N)?” Hotch’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. “You do know that if you need anything, both on the case and off the case, you can talk to me, right?”
His hand rests on your shoulder. You give him a smile and start to head down the slope.
“Of course. You’re my go-to person if I need something, Hotch. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
It’s the next day, and you’re sitting at the table staring down a pile of paper. It’s early in the morning, and you think you’d kill for a cup of coffee right about now. Unfortunately, you got up early and were one of the first in the office. That means that there was no coffee for you to have and you have to wait for some to brew.
A sudden knock on the doorway startles you. You whirl around to find Officer Mike Morris standing in the doorway.
“I see you’re into mornings, just like I am. Figured you would want a cup of coffee.”
He sets down a cup of lukewarm coffee. You watch as the liquid settles and realize that the color is off. It won’t taste the way you like it, but you do your best to take a sip. You’re right. It’s not how you’d like it.
“(Y/N)? You left early today so I brought you coffee and breakfast. I hope that’s okay.”
Hotch walks into the room holding a tray of coffee and a to-go bag. He briefly looks at Officer Morris before looking at you.
“Thanks! What did you get me?”
A soft smile spreads across Hotch’s face. He sets the coffee tray down and pulls one of the cups out. You carefully read the label on the cup. It’s made just the way you like. As you take a sip, you feel the caffeine send tingles to your brain and you start to wake up.
“And breakfast?”
Hotch pulls a muffin out of the bag and hands it to you. You're quite grateful for the snack. Nothing says FBI breakfast like coffee and a pastry.
“Thank Hotch. I got up pretty early so I didn’t have a chance of getting food.”
You bury your face back into the papers, ignoring the men. You can feel the tension in the room though. They seem to be locked in some sort of silent fight, over what you can’t tell. A fight over ruining your train of thought is possible, but you can’t imagine that making you useless was a great idea.
“Well, (L/N), I’ll see you later. Don't be a stranger,” Officer Morris says before leaving.
“Oh, I call shotgun!” You say as you open the passenger door.
Hotch slides into the driver's seat. “As long as you don’t touch the radio we’ll be fine.”
Before the two of you can leave the parking lot, there’s a knock on your window. Hotch is quick to lock the doors. You frown when you see it’s Officer Morris. He seems to be everywhere. If it wasn’t for the fact that he didn’t fit the preliminary profile, you’d assume he was the unsub.
Rolling down the window, you ask, “ Was there something you needed, Officer Morris?”
“I heard you were headed to see the Willows and I figured I should come with. They’re grumpy and old so they don’t take well to strangers. I actually happen to know them quite well and am off duty now.”
You glance at Hotch, unsure of how you should shut Officer Morris down. Hotch’s mouth is drawn in a thin line and his eyes are cold. You can practically feel the irritation coming off him and you turn your gaze to the clock. Staring at the time seems like a better choice.
“I think (Y/N) and I will be fine. We’re both highly capable agents who’ve dealt with difficult people.”
Morris smiles tightly. “I’m sure (L/N) is an exceptional agent, but I can assure you that these aren’t your ordinary grumpy old people. We got a call once that Mr. Willow tried to shoot the mailman when he got too close.”
You hear the leather squeak as Hotch’s hand tightens on the steering wheel. He’s getting far more than irritated. In fact, you’d venture to say he was getting pissed. It wasn’t hard to tell why. Morris is wasting your time.
“Aaron is a more capable agent than I am!” you blurt out. “So if you don’t mind, we’ll be off. Serial killers don’t wait around for us to find our clues.”
You let Hotch roll up your window and drive off. As soon as you start rolling, you see him relax.
“Man, he just won’t let up. Is there something I’m missing?” you ask.
“If he gives you any more trouble, I’ll take care of it.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Of course.”
It finally hits you once Morris grabs your wrist. His grip is tight. You shake your hand a couple of times, but he still holds fast.
“I’ve been hoping that I could get a chance to talk to you alone, (Y/N). I was wondering if you’d like to join me for dinner.”
The whole time you had been here, Morris was hitting on you. You pride yourself on being able to read people, but you admit that your ability to spot romance is a bit lacking. Unfortunately, you have zero interest in going out with Morris. Not only is he being quite rude at the moment, but you had no intention of going long distance. Not to mention your lingering feelings for someone else.
“Well, given that we still haven’t caught the killer, I’ll have to decline. There’s no time to waste.”
His grip tightens even more before he releases you. His eyes are dark and he’s sporting a tight frown.
“Does Agent Hotchner not let you date?”
You stare at him in shock. “Excuse me?”
“Is Agent Hotchner interfering with your personal life? Does he dictate whether or not his team members can date?”
You shake your head. “No, he doesn't. This is a personal choice. I’d rather not go to dinner with you when I have a serial killer to catch.”
Morris says nothing, but you can tell he doesn’t believe you. His animosity toward Hotch confuses you. You don’t bother trying to understand it, however. There isn’t anything about this guy that is making sense.
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to go back to my team. If you need anything, feel free to contact one of them.”
With that, you turn and walk back to the main room. You want nothing more than to have someone tell him off, but you opt not to mention anything. The team has other things to worry about.
Once again, Morris has done his best to ask you out. This time making the mistake of asking in front of Hotch. The tension in the room grows thick, and you feel uncomfortable. You can see Hotch seething.
“I don’t think-“
You’re cut off by Hotch. “You are to leave (Y/N) alone for the rest of this case, Officer Morris.”
His voice is icy. There’s a vein popping in his forehead and his hand is tight on the file. There’s no one else in the room to stop the fight that’s about to break out.
“(Y/N) doesn’t need to date whoever you approve of Hotchner. You’d be stepping out of your boundaries by making that choice.”
Hotch strides over to where you’re standing. He tosses the file onto the desk next to you and grabs your face. Within milliseconds, he’s pulled you into a kiss.
His lips are chapped and you let his tongue enter your mouth you can faintly taste blood. He’s passionate about it. One hand reaches around to the back of your head to keep you in place. There’s more force than necessary, and you feel yourself growing light-headed.
You don’t know how long he’s kissing you for, seconds or minutes, and it doesn’t matter. He’s set a fire inside of you and you find yourself whining when he pulls away. He’s careful to keep you close though.
“If you don’t mind, Officer Morris, (Y/N) and I will be leaving.”
Aaron pins one of your legs up against your body with the other wrapping around his waist. Your ankle is behind his head and you feel sweat fall from his brow.
“Why didn’t you tell him off sooner?”
You can’t answer his question with anything but a moan. You arch your back as he continues to pound you. Your body craves him and you feel delirious. The only thing you can think about is the way he’s making you feel.
“I could’ve done more to you in that office, but he doesn’t deserve to see you like that.”
Each thrust of his hips punctuates his statement. You can’t even tell what he’s saying though. The only thing on your mind is him. The way he’s filling you up. The way he feels inside of you. The way that each thrust hits that sweet spot makes you moan.
“A-Aaron!” you cry out.
His lips press harshly against yours. With one final thrust, you come undone. Your fingers grip his bicep tightly as you cum and you feel your legs tremble. You’ve been doing this for hours, and you’ve lost count of how many times that was.
When he pulls away, his face is soft. There’s no more anger or jealousy hidden in his eyes and a smile is slowly spreading across his face.
“You aren’t hurt are you?”
You giggle and shake your head. “Just a little out of practice for this. I’ll be a bit sore later but otherwise fine.”
His next kiss is soft and tender. You relish the fact that you’re spending the night with him.
“Good because when we get back to D.C. I’ll have to show you a different side of this. Perhaps after dinner?”
You let your eyes flutter closed. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”
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