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most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer · 8 months

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Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*

*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.

Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:

as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)

while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates

Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)

That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:

***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.

I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***

Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.

But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?

Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:

C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?

Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*

Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:

A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice

A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…

Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:

C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?

He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.

Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.

A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:

SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed

(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)

I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?

"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.

In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.

And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.

So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.

If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.

"Then nothing has to change, does it?"

#edited to add the note about crowley's perspective right after the cut! apologies if it seemed anti-aziraphale before!#good omens meta #good omens lockdown #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorcees #i can't even imagine navigating the pandemic brain scramblies while pining THAT HARD #Aziraphale is a company man (gn) but i think S3 will cure him of that #long but if i can't write essays about this on tumblr then where #good omens spoilers

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vidavalor · 5 months

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Something that intrigues me about the letter in Good Omens: Lockdown is both what is and what isn't written on the envelope and what that could maybe suggest about its contents. What this looks like to me is a letter that probably has still not yet left Aziraphale's desk and so might actually be possibly important in the story right around where we are at now after S2. I think that's an 'if something ever happens to me' letter.

If the intent was to send Crowley a letter through the postal system, then some of his address should be visible to us because Aziraphale would have finished writing it before calling him and before heating up the sealing wax. The name is centered in most of the middle of the envelope, which also suggests no address is meant to follow. If it is not a letter intended to go through the postal system, then that's an awfully formal addressing of a love note lol and while that is pretty cute and everything, idk. It just seems it'd be either full name and address or a more informal name... but if that letter is sealed with wax and just has Crowley's formal name written on the envelope, it strikes me as a letter that's maybe meant to be left behind in Aziraphale's desk, just in case.

Aziraphale knows what thinking he was dead did to Crowley in S1. The fifty-seven fire extinguishers and a factory's worth of battery-operated candles in S2 show that Aziraphale is sensitive to that. Maybe he decided to make sure there was something for Crowley to have in case he was left alone. It's a will, in the sense that everything that was his is then just Crowley's, obviously including the bookshop, but it's also a love letter of sorts.

Aziraphale also trying to deal with the trauma of them losing each other in some way and then immediately needing to call Crowley to hear his voice is also what happens when he goes to the cemetery in Edinburgh in S2 and is shown staring at the spot where Crowley was taken in 1827 before magically procuring the nearest phone to immediately call Crowley, so maybe that's what was also happening to an extent in Lockdown?

But yeah... Crowley getting that letter after S2...

#good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens meta #good omens theory #good omens lockdown #aziracrow

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liberumalas · 8 months

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Frames I liked from an unfinished Lockdown animatic of mine. I started making this in around may or earlier so the style is not quite like it is now.

#good omens #good omens fanart #art #ineffable husbands #crowley #good omens crowley #crowley fanart #ineffable husbands fanart #aziraphale fanart #aziraphale #good omens lockdown #ineffable spouses

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fuckyeahgoodomens · 10 months

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Wait... when did Crowley start living in the car. Because in lockdown when he asks "I could slither over and watch you eat cake." He doesn't say it from car parked 5m from the bookshop, right? RIGHT?! :D

#good omens #gos2 #season 2 #good omens lockdown #crowley living in his car #oh dear

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aziraphales-library · 6 months

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Hi! I was just wondering if you would have some recommendations for lockdown period fics… I feel rather peckish for what may had happened then…

Thank you for your incredible work and ineffable recommendations!!!

Let you shine light in my ask! 😊

Hello my dear! We have the following tags which you will be interested in: #good omens lockdown, #covid 19, #awake the snake

And here are a few more I've enjoyed.

Just Take Me Back to Yours, That Will Be Fine by Chash [rated E, 8k words]

It's March 2020, and Crowley happens to be in the bookshop when he and Aziraphale find out that lockdown is happening. Obviously it would be completely irresponsible if he left.

the absentee angel by darcylindbergh [rated G, 7k words]

Crowley oversleeps July by a year and change, and wakes up to a missed call and an empty bookshop.

Promise Not to Wake Me by HotCrossPigeon [rated T, 3k words]

Aziraphale finds himself with a sleeping companion, much to his surprise.

Crowley is also surprised. And completely mortified.

-Mod AB

#good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens lockdown #mod AB

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veinsfullofstars · 2 months

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See you in July.

(ID: Good Omens fanart of Aziraphale & Crowley during the 2020 Lockdown special. They sit back to back glancing over their shoulders at each other, Aziraphale on our left sitting in a high-backed chair of brown wood and red cushions, Crowley on our right, sitting lower to the ground against a fluffy white pillow, a red blanket covering his legs. Azirpahale wears an olive-green sweater vest, his signature bowtie and pinkie ring, a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, beige trousers, and white socks. He holds a maroon corded phone to his ear, several towering stacks of books behind him, some topped with plates of tea and cake. Crowley wears a set of simple black pajamas, holding a smartphone to his ear. END ID.)

I thank Neil and the team every day for putting that out there during a time when we all really, really needed it.

Started 05/02/20, finished 05/09/20, and posted 05/10/20 a.k.a. Good Omens’ 30th anniversary... which is not 05/01/20 like we’d all collectively thought it was at the time, Neil included. A silly mistake, but, hey, we got two celebrations out of it, so win-win. Also NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 08/07/23.

#veins art #veins old art #veins ships #veins fanart #fanart #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #good omens lockdown #no spoilers for season 2 #I care them a normal amount #veinsfullofstars

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wee-snek · 3 months

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You know what flashback I really want to see in Season 3? The time between lockdown and the start of Season 2.

I want to see what their new normal was.

The increased use of “we” and “us” in conversation. The fact that Crowley is less put off by being called ‘good’. The “the last few years, not really”. Show us those last few years.

Honestly, I would LOVE to have S3 open with quiet, gentle and romantic days in, like, 2022. Show us relaxed Crowley with his glasses off, and Aziraphale not being nervous for like 5 whole minutes. Show us increased casual touches, more lingering smiles. Crowley falling asleep in the bookshop and Aziraphale covering him with a tartan blanket.

And then immediately post-credits cut to shots of them separately in Heaven and Hell, alone, scared and miserable.

Can’t think of a more compelling way to start off.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffible husbands #good omens 2 #good omens predictions #good omens lockdown #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x arizaphale #aziracrow #ineffible

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most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer · 8 months

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Good Omens: Lockdown, Aziraphale’s SAD-ASS desk, and how they get to 'Our bookshop' in S2

Welcome to part 2 of me reading reeaally far into the Good Omens: Lockdown video! (part 1 from Crowley's POV here) This post assumes the item choices in the Lockdown visuals are intentional. What follows is going to be my headcanon regardless, but if you're into the Word of God, Lockdown is canon 'If you want it to be.' and I want it to be, sooo checkmate! >;D

Also this is something of a long boi (~13 minute read without following the links >.>), so if you're into unhinged analysis of details and literary references that indicate Aziraphale is in his longing era and want to learn more about author and fave-of-Gaiman, G.K. Chesterton, either get comfy or mark this to read later when you have time!

C: What? A: *somehow surprised even though HE CALLED* A-ah, hello. It's me! C: I know it's you, Aziraphale. A: *regaining composure* Yes, well, just calling to see how you were doing in lockdown.

The video starts with shots of Aziraphale and Crowley's da Vinci sketches (and some sushi remnants)... Babygirl is flipping through the time-goes-too-fast-for-me version of a facebook album, thinking about his crush. vERY chill of him. (also the paper looks new and he's eating on top of them, suggesting these are prints and he has multiple copies of them... sooo normal)

If we look closer at the still of Crowley's portrait, we can see part of the spine of a book that reads Kei- Chesterto-. This is, of course, author Gilbert Keith Chesterton, to whom Neil and Terry (and Crowley) dedicated Good Omens:

The authors would like to join the demon Crowley in dedicating this book to the memory of G. K. Chesterton A man who knew what was going on.

In this post by @azfellandco about Chesterton, you can see a photo of the dedication page and also read the book excerpt where Crowley describes Chesterton as 'the only poet in the twentieth century to even come close to the Truth'.

C: I'm bored. I'm so very very bored - transcendentally bored. There's nothing to do here!

As Crowley is explaining his nap contingency plan, we get a shot of Aziraphale picking up his mug of hot chocolate, then the image below of the 2/3rds gone bottle of Courvoisier cognac (i mean maybe he is baking with it let's not jump to conclusions), and then the stack of books beside a framed woodcut print of witches dancing with devils...

...that I used reverse image search to trace back to page 17 of a book from 1720 called The history of witches and wizards: giving a true account of all their tryals in England, Scotland, Swedeland, France, and New England; with their confession and condemnation.

Interestingly, the text above and below the picture reads:

At their Meeting they have usually Wine, or good Beer, Cakes, Meat, or the like; they Eat and Drink really: When they meet in their Bodies, Dance also, and have Musick...

Beside the framed print of Aziraphale's idea of a really great night out is a stack of books that includes (going from top to bottom):

Homer's The Iliad, Book 2

Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton

Forbidden Rites: A Necromancer's Manual of the Fifteenth Century by Richard Kieckhefer

a book by Hilaire Belloc with no visible title

The Club of Queer Trades by G.K. Chesterton

The Iliad (according to sparknotes) has the following major themes:

....Interesting, ok. Book 2 in particular starts with a god (Zeus) messing with someone (Agamemnon) via a dream that says he will be successful in taking Troy if he launches a full assault, balls to the (city) wall. Agamemnon, who is supposed to be leading the Achaean army to conquer Troy, believes the dream but then in a weird twist decides to test his army and be like 'jk actually I'm giving up and going home' and then is mad when the soldiers are like 'sick, to the boats!' Then Odysseus, who sparknotes tells me is the most eloquent of the Achaeans, gives an impressive speech to inspire the troops and reminds them that they vowed 'that they would not abandon their struggle until the city fell.' ...No way that could worsen Aziraphale's internal conflict about being a bad Angel who thwarted the Great Plan. >.>; Orthodoxy we'll get to in a second.

Then there's Forbidden Rites which is a medieval necromancy guide translated from Latin with added commentary - Aziraphale is perhaps studying occult topics in an attempt to understand Crowley better? And then there's the Hilaire Belloc book on top of the second Chesterton book, a collection of related stories/episodes?, The Club of Queer Trades. The book's Wikipedia page says:

Each story in the collection is centered on a person who is making his living by some novel and extraordinary means. To gain admittance [to the Club of Queer Trades] one must have invented a unique means of earning a living and the subsequent trade being the main source of income.

Aziraphale and Crowley have rather novel/extraordinary jobs and they're both peculiar-queer and gay-queer. Neat. The narrator in the book is named Charlie "Cherub" Swinburne - also neat. >.> He goes on an adventure with his friend, a retired judge and president of the Club of Queer Trades, Basil Grant, (who Oct 2021 GoodReads reviewer Cecily said is "described as mad, mystical, and a poet, with almost no friends, but who “would talk to any one anywhere”) and Basil's younger brother, a private detective named Inspector Constable Rupert Grant. The last line of the book is:

Thus our epic ended where it had begun, like a true cycle. (something something "It starts, as it will end, with a garden.")

Anyway, the Belloc book and The Club of Queer Trades are placed back to back in such a way that they almost look like they could be one book with two different aesthetics, or... two halves of a pantomime beast?! (stay with me I needed a segue)

Belloc and Chesterton have what is essentially a ship name:

It was coined by George Bernard Shaw (if you are like me and didn't know why you've heard of him: he wrote, among other things, Pygmalion, which was adapted into My Fair Lady). Shaw apparently liked to gossip about Belloc and Chesterton with H.G. Wells (again if you're uncultured like me: he wrote, among other science fiction-y things, The War of the Worlds).

In the Feb 15, 1908 issue of The New Age newspaper, Shaw said:

He continued:

"Chesterton and Belloc are so unlike that they get frightfully into one another’s way. ... They are unlike in everything except the specific literary genius and delight in play-acting that is common to them, and that threw them into one another’s arms.”

Shaw says Belloc is 'a bit of a rowdy', and 'cannot bear isolation'. Hmm. Then he says Chesterton is 'friendly, easy-going, unaffected, gentle, magnanimous, and genuinely democratic'. HMM.

“They share one failing—almost the only specific trait they have in common except their literary talent. That failing is, I grieve to say, addiction to the pleasures of the table.”

Ok ok I think we can see where this is going.

(^ from Staged S3E6)

Now, someone did ask Neil Gaiman about this similarity, and he said the Lockdown video was filmed by Rob Wilkins in Terry Pratchett's library, and that he suspects 'Belloc is there because he was on Terry's shelves beside Chesterton.' And it MAY VERY WELL BE that NONE (0) of the book titles are meant in any way other than 'these are books from Sir Pratchett's library that looked nice on camera and ofc we wanted some Chesterton refs and maybe some demon-y stuff for Crowley' but that is WAY less fun so I am choosing to take them as intentional: these are books Aziraphale is actually reading (along with the sushi and many cakes he is actually eating). Let's put ourselves in Aziraphale's shoes and try to imagine how it would be to read this stuff during lockdown while you pine for a demon with slinky hips after you got in big trouble at work for Armageddoff (and work happens to have defined your worldview and general purpose in life).

C: welll... ngk then people might follow my bad example and get ill. Or even die—

As Crowley acknowledges that he ought to be out making peoples' lives worse, we see Orthodoxy by Chesterton open on the desk.

Orthodoxy is described as a ‘spiritual autobiography’ and is considered a classic of Christian apologetics, i.e. the religious discipline of defending religious doctrines (in this case, Catholic) through systematic argumentation and discourse. Wikipedia also says Chesterton's The Everlasting Man contributed to C.S. Lewis' conversion to Christianity, so overall it sounds like he must've been fairly convincing. (and so maybe reading it also poked at that work-related-but-religious-trauma-adjacent stuff Aziraphale has going on?)

You can read Orthodoxy (and probably any of the books I mention bc theyre all old) on project gutenberg but I will include this part of what is shown on the righthand page bc it just reminds me (and so probably Azirapalala as well) of a certain angel squeaking happily at a nebula:

"I felt economical about the stars as if they were sapphires (they are called so in Milton's Eden): I hoarded the hills. For the universe is a single jewel, and while it is a natural cant to talk of a jewel as peerless and priceless, of this jewel it is literally true. This cosmos is indeed without peer and without price: for there cannot be another one."

Ok great, so Aziraphale is diving into the works of one of Crowley's favorite authors bc he misses him, that's cute. What else? Oh he already wrote him a letter right before calling - THE WICK ON THE WAX STICK FOR THE SEAL IS STILL SMOKING. sO CASUAL asdashgfjds

something something 'either call on the phone and talk, or appear mysteriously; don't do both'

When Aziraphale gets to 'I've never had so few customers, not in two hundred years!' We get a close up of this glass of cognac with droplets still on the side — I take back what I said about baking, Aziraphale is drinking it~

He's not drinking a wine, eg Châteauneuf-du-pape, which would be ~14% alcohol by volume (ABV), or a sherry (15-20% ABV); he is drinking Courvoisier cognac, a hard liquor (40% ABV). Crowley's Talisker whisky is 48.5% while we are on the topic. This is stronger than what Aziraphale usually drinks which means... he could be a bit tipsy.

As Aziraphale starts talking about the would-be cash-box burglary, we get this wide shot of the desk:

In the top left hand corner, we see two stacks of books, most (all?) of which appear to be Chesterton when I zoom in. Some of them have Chesterton's name visible on them, others have the publisher name 'Darwen Finlayson' on them, which according to my googling is a house that published several of Chesterton's works. If Chesterton was truly 'a man who knew what was going on', then perhaps this is Aziraphale seeking not just to feel closer to Crowley, but also to make sense of the warring ideas in his mind. Interestingly, Chesterton has also been described as 'The Eccentric Prince of Paradox'.

C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth?

The screen then shows two occult-y books and a flickering candle (lower left image). Then Aziraphale explains about his cake~, and as Crowley cuts him off because he's about to nervously ask to come over bc he is so so lonely & down bad for a certain angelic bookworm, we see a map of Oxfordshire on top of Pilgrim's Progress (lower right image).

The two books beside the candle are Satanism and Witchcraft (presumably the 1862 book by Jules Michelet that comes up when I search the title), and another called Magic: An Occult Primer.

Satanism and Witchcraft is described on Wikipedia as 'notable for being one of the first sympathetic histories of witchcraft' and says 'Michelet was one of the first few people to attempt to show the sociological explanation of the Witch Trials.’ Sympathy for people who like to eat/drink/dance with demons, if you will?

Magic: An Occult Primer is a 1972 book by David Conway, a Welsh (CACHU HWCH!) magus and is described as 'a seminal work that brought magical training to the every-magician'. It also includes an appendix called The Occult Who's Who, which is somewhat reminiscent of Hastur's Furfur's book about angels. In Chapter 11: A Word About Demons, it says in regard to summoning them:

"Assuming that the form has turned up in the right place, it will soon begin to act and talk in a very friendly manner; do not forget, however, that its winning ways conceal a sinister intention-- namely, to get the adept out of the circle, and into its clutches.”

...okay?? Aziraphale's desk has a flickering candle on it throughout the video, and we get a close up of the flame when Crowley offers to slither over:

and just like that, Aziraphale has summoned a demon~~

Naturally, he freaks out:

A: *panicking*Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over.

But why? Isn't this what he wanted? Let's go back to the Pilgrim's Progress shot from right before the successful demon summoning and zoom in:

In a similar vein to Orthodoxy, Pilgrim's Progress, by John Bunyan, is an allegorical Puritan conversion narrative. Christian is the main character / stand in for anyone who wants to be in the allegory and Hopeful is well, hopeful, from what I gather. A slightly larger continuous excerpt is here for the curious, but here are some bits I thought were especially interesting in the part of the book shown above:

Christian: Why, what was it that brought your sins to mind again? Hopeful: Many things; as, If I did but meet a good man in the streets; or, If I have heard any read in the Bible; or, If mine head did begin to ache; or, If I were told that some of my neighbors were sick; or, If I heard the bell toll for some that were dead; or, If I thought of dying myself; or, If I heard that sudden death happened to others; But especially when I thought of myself that I must quickly come to judgment.

Perhaps the pandemic is bringing Aziraphale's "sins" to mind again, on top of the whole choosing faces thing to avoid 'quickly coming to judgment'. And then:

Hopeful: I thought I must endeavor to mend my life; for else, thought I, I am sure to be lost forever. Christian: And did you endeavor to mend? Hopeful: Yes, and fled from not only my sins, but sinful company too, and betook me to religious duties, as praying, reading, weeping for sin, speaking truth to my neighbors, etc.

UM??? While I can't say about the praying or weeping for sin, he has definitely been reading and the whole 'giving a good talking to' the burglars could be 'speaking truth to [the] neighbors'...?

Anyway to recap:

Aziraphale has been poring over books about dark magic and demons as well as a ton of books by an author that Crowley loves and who formed a partnership w a very different person in a sort of yin-yang, pantomime beast situation

He has been looking at pictures that remind him of their fun times w Leo in Florence and eating sushi and cake cake cake (and forgiving sinners) and drinking hot chocolate and cognac trying to fill a void but now he's tipsy so he wrote Crowley a letter, stamped it with a wax seal and then thought 'I should call her' BUT

His recent brush with attempted death penalties, the death toll of the pandemic, and some of the religious books he was reading have also filled him with guilt/fear over disobeying Heaven, who he knows could still be watching him and Crowley, so he feels much more conflicted than usual AND

He probably has some inkling that he wants to go ape shit on that ox rib if it comes over to hang out (lol editing to add bc i remembered ox rib discourse: ape shit in an emotional way! whether you hc them as ace or not I just think he really likes him and I’m using ox ribs as a stand in for general forbidden joy/love, not specifically sexy stuff)

So he has to say no.

Anything else might cause him to spontaneously discorporate into a plume of pining and cognitively dissonant gay smoke, which may be all well and good if you only think there's a God, but if you KNOW it and the angels are absolutely recording you and Heaven just tried to kill you and your wife colleague, it's... kind of a big deal.

C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

We don't get to hear Aziraphale's response, but besties you and I both know he is not feeling tickety-boo. He spent like a month putting off calling Crowley (UK lockdowns started end of March, the call is at the beginning of May), finally got drunk and said what the Hell, it'll just be a fun flirty chat in between his temptations, and then it turned out Crowley was depressed and not going anywhere and Aziraphale made him even sadder. And then it got worse because it wasn't all over in July, or in October, even.

I think Aziraphale ends up with a lot of time and brain space in which to think about how Orthodoxy and Pilgrim's Progress were only written to guide *mortals* and how it really wouldn't be so bad if he spent more time with Crowley, would it? Heaven hasn't reached out in actual years again, things feel safer. Crowley is essentially Good and spending time with him would be sort of ministering to the downtrodden and afflicted, and Aziraphale does miss reporting his good deeds (lol you know, whatever rationalizations you need to get you there).

More than anything, he thinks about how hollow everything feels without Crowley; how no mouthful of food or drink tastes as satisfying in his absence because it wasn't ever just about the 'gross matter'...

So when lockdowns end, Aziraphale begins to summon his demon again, but this time with much less inner struggling. It all comes so naturally, when you let it. By the beginning of Season 2 in 2023, they seem delightfully comfortable with their shared routines and places (see also this lovely post by @nightgoodomens). Our car. Our bookshop.

Aziraphale might take longer to catch up, but he does get there.

(SHHH DON'T THINK ABOUT EPISODE 6! STOP! I'M HANGING UP!)

“The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.” ― G.K. Chesterton

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vidavalor · 3 months

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Can you share another horny homophone? Count me obsessed with Ineffable Husbands Speak.

Same, obviously. I can do that. Since "ma tante"/"my tente" was Aziraphale, here are a couple from Crowley this time:

To be bored/board and wrath/wroth

We know that when Aziraphale is hungry for sex, he ironically busts out this word below that means that one could go for a little snack:

And we also know that Crowley sees this as the most Aziraphale word that has ever Aziraphale worded because he was all oh babe really this one? in response to it in 1793:

His attitude is a bit: We're doing this now? We're calling it "peckish"? I mean, it meets the food-related criteria for a sexual euphemism in our wordplay and it's also funny as hell, since you have never eaten just a little bit of food once in all your days, and it's even got this weird, bird-like bit of hilarity to it but I can't do it. It's fine for you but there is no way on this Earth that I am ever going to tell you I feel like sex by saying that I'm feeling "peckish"...

This is not a Crowley-ish word.

So, what does he say then? What's the Crowley version of "peckish"? It's a homophone and it's...

To be "bored/board" (in Ineffable Husbands Speak). The Crowley version of "peckish", which is a word that is fine for Aziraphale but which Crowley is never going to use in all his days.

To be bored is to lament the fact that you are lacking in stimuli and activity and to be stuck in a temporary dearth of anything interesting happening. A homophone for "bored" in English is "board", which has several different meanings that are amusing in an Ineffable Husbands-y way-- much like "wily", "thwart", "smitten", "explode", etc..

A board in one bit of common usage today is a plank of wood-- as in, "honey, I'm going to Lowe's to grab some more boards for our home improvement project" but, inevitably, since you're all such wonderfully dirty-minded little skamps, your minds also went to the sexual euphemism for having an erection. As such, Crowley can speak aloud one sound-- like Aziraphale did with "tante"/"tente"-- and have it mean two different words at once and "board" has additional meanings that meet the criteria for being a word in Ineffable Husbands Speak... like its food-related one.

One of the original meanings of "board" is a table that is set for a meal. As in, "he was ravenously hungry when he returned to the house and sighed with pleasure at the board before him." The board, in this case, would be a table laid with food that was ready to eat. A more modern version of this kind of usage is less the whole table set up for a meal but more if I were to go fill a plank of wood or a stone slab or a platter with various deli meats, cheeses, olives, breads/crackers, etc., what have I made? A charcuterie board.

Additionally, a "board" can be used to mean those working as a small collective to make decisions and direct an organization-- as in, "she sits on the board of directors of the company"-- and is then a nod towards their healthy sexual power balance. More euphemistically, as a verb, you "board" modes of transportation-- like planes, buses, trains, ships... the latter two of which we've already seen Crowley and Aziraphale turn into sexual innuendo.

Ships are related to the sea and feature into Aziraphale's drunk innuendo around The Kraken and his more detailed Biblically-inspired dirty talk in the "seeds of destruction" scene. Trains are what Crowley parries back with after Aziraphale turned The Bentley and the bookshop into a sexual metaphor for Crowley and himself when teasing control freak Crowley about how he has been letting Aziraphale drive his car for centuries but is having a whole meltdown about letting him drive the actual, literal car.

While you "sail on" a ship and "fly" on a plane, in the cases of most other forms of transportation-- including the two Crowley and Aziraphale are flirting about in S2, cars and trains-- you, of course, "board" one to ride it to a destination. If you wish to board a mode of transportation, you wish to go somewhere-- you're bored and need to board. And you've a whole board of delicious-sounding meal options circling around in your mind lol.

So, Crowley can make one sound and it encapsulates two words with collective meanings of lacking in stimuli while being hard up/horny and fantasizing about a whole damn charcuterie board of sexual options.

Crowley can tell what Aziraphale means by his tone of voice and the reasons Aziraphale calls Crowley, according to Crowley in 2.01, are that there's a "something's wrong" emergency (which is what this scene in 2.01 is), that he has to tell him about something clever he did and can't wait the short amount of time until he sees Crowley next to tell him (which is so married and is also what happens when Aziraphale can't wait to tell Crowley how good a job he's doing managing his trauma in Edinburgh by having gone to the spot by the Gabriel statue), or that he's "bored"/"board"-- he's restless, lacking in stimuli, very peckish and wants to mess around (which is Good Omens: Lockdown).

Aziraphale: I just called to see how you were doing during lockdown.

Crowley: I'm bored... so *very, very*... *board*. *Transcendentally* (homophone) bored/board...

Maggie and Nina partner scene, in which they are locked down together, and Nina's a bit of a bitch but also kinda not wrong about physical media shops as unlikely targets for robbery:

Aziraphale: ...except for the other night, when (salacious tone of voice) *a few young lads* broke in and (faux-innocent tone of voice) tried to steal the cashbox! (mischievous, innuendo-laden tone of voice) But they soon saw the error of their ways.

Crowley: Did you smite them with your (homophone) wrath/wroth?

Wrath: righteous fury; of an angel, in Biblical terms. Pronounced by people with a moneyed English accent like Crowley's as "wroth", for some weird fluke of language/reasons no one is really sure on, probably because it sounds posh. *shrug* However, 'wroth' is a word itself...

Wroth: like 'wrath', means extreme anger... but is also the past tense of 'writhe'

To writhe: to make continuous twisting movements of the body; to thrash; to flail; to twist and turn. Frequently used to describe the movements of a body experiencing sexual pleasure or an orgasm.

[See also, other kinds of writhe-related wordplay: to founder vs. to flounder ("Seeds of Destruction" scene) and to get a wiggle on vs. to get a wriggle on (Discorporated!Aziraphale scene), when I finish metas on Fish and Seeds.]

Crowley: Did you smite them with your *wroth*?

Meaning: Did you discipline your imaginary burglars, angel-- is that where this one's going? Did they become smitten with you from your smiting-- all three young, strapping, muscled, cash-starved members of the local university crew team, I'd imagine?

#ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #good omens 2 #good omens lockdown

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