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cashmoneyyysstuff · 2 months

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Crying bc that could never be me bc I never really had close guy friends when I was young please write a one shot or something of childhood friends y/n and Katsuki of Katsuki being immune to cooties and bringing these tendencies to UA together 😭

eeeee i was secretly hoping someone would ask me to talk about this more tehhehehe here you go ! I didn’t rlly get what you meant with him carrying the cootie thing to high school so i wrote this around your ask a lil, hope you don't mind ! i tried honoring your request as best i can, hope you enjoy !

fem reader, polar opposite’s trope except not POLAR opposite’s cus yn is a little shit on the low, mitsuki favoritism lol, mitsuki and katsuki arguing n bein sassy, katsuki gets embarrassed, mitsuki is mischievous, katsuki calling his mother old, yn calls mitsuki ‘miss’, pure fluff honestly, say it with me CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS TROPE WOHOOOO, mentions of making out n kissing, established relationship, cooties lol, lemme know if i missed sum else <3 !!

katsuki wants to do one of three things right now : dissapear, sink into the floor or die—and the more he hears his old hag babbling on and on to you with a familiar photo album in her lap, the more he's starting to find the all three options tempting.

" oh look, this was at you guys' kindergarten graduation ! you were both soooo small, do you remember that ?! "

he hears his mom gush from the other bigger living room couch she's sitting on with you. it's been 15 minutes since you had come over to his house and the plan was for you guys to hang out, watch a movie and get a make out session in before you leave or preferably have you sleep over.

that was the plan, until his old hag came and fucked it up.

15 minutes since she'd dragged you over to the couch and talked your ear off about whatever the fuck moms talk about and you, being the sweetheart that you are, listened patiently the whole time, chatting and giggling out jokes easily. katsuki really, really doesn't know how you do it but he sure as hell respects you for it.

you'd always insisted on being polite with his mom, something about staying in her good graces after you guys had started dating. katsuki thinks that's extremely stupid because his mom has loved you since that day in elementary school when he'd dragged you over to her, his little hand gripping yours tightly and proudly exclaiming you were the one he was gonna marry. you were sweeter and calmer than he was by far and she was immediatly enamoured with you. katsuki's damn near sure she loves you more than she loves him. that in itself isn't the problem. the problem was that she's been hogging you ever since you walked in the door.

usually, katsuki's fast enough to drag you up to his room before she can get her claws in you, but he wasn't fast enough today and that's how he ended up in his current predicament.

" and this one when you came over for christmas—oh, katsuki begged me to let you stay over, you know ? you cannot believe how loud he can get when he doesn't get his way, started rolling around on the floor n' everything ! "

katsuki feels his ears redden the more he listens to this conversation and he wishes so bad for you guys to just fucking go. he could go to his room and avoid this entire conversation in theory, but he'd rather avoid his mom telling you some other embarrassing stories that you absolutely do not need to know about, so he concedes and tries his best to drown the conversation out, scrolling on his phone.

"ou, i have an adorable picture of katsuki in the bath let me find—"

" DON'T FUCKIN’ SHOW HER THAT, HAG ?! " katsuki shrieks, startling you, his mom looks surprised for no more than a milisecond before shooting him a nasty glare unphased by her son's outburst. "what's got you pipin' up now, brat ?" she asks unimpressed.

katsuki practically zooms over and snatches the album away from his mother's grip, shooting her a glare identical to her own. " i'm gonna burn this in your sleep one of these days, i swear. " he grumbles, trudging off to put the album back on one of the shelves of his living room and ignoring his mom wishing him good luck with that. katsuki feels like he's lost a battle when he hears you giggle quietly when he turns away, no doubt his mother had said something about how he was embarrassed to have you see his baby pictures. he vows to get revenge and thinks the best way to start is by throwing this cursed collection of pictures on an open fire. he decides to just put it back on the shelf for now.

“ what a spoilsport, am i right ?” mitsuki nudges you with her shoulder and you giggle at what katsuki personally finds a horrible joke. to each their own though, or whatever.

katsuki scoffs to himself. he makes his way back to the couch and stands in front of you both, arms crossed.

“you done hoggin’ my girlfriend now or are you gonna keep yappin’ some more ?” mitsuki scoffs at her son’s words, wrapping her arms around your frame and pulling you against her tightly when she sees katsuki’s hand creeping towards you, assuming he'd try to pull you away.

“ i’m sure you can be patient for a little longer, as hard as i know it is for you.” you hear katsuki scoff out an insult under his breath, mitsuki pays it no mind. “besides, yn has been enjoyin’ our conversation so far, haven’t ya sweetie ?” she asks. you, again, being the sweet thing that you are, happily nod with a smile. mitsuki looks up at her son with a smug look, her expression screams “see ?”.

“ she’s only agreein’ cus yer fuckin’ holdin’ her hostage.” katsuki grumbles. he feels his patience dwindling at a pace that should definitely be alarming. he looks at you and feels his heart flutter when you offer him an apologetic smile. his patience returns the slightest bit.

“hostage ? don’t be ridiculous katsuki—” then it’s as if a lightbulb goes off, katsuki can practically see it gleaming above her head and he really doesn’t like it.

“he’s always been like that y’know ? all clingy—you remember that right ?!”the excitement in her voice becomes more prominent when she sees you nod enthusiastically. katsuki has a strange, foreboding feeling about this.

“ i remember he’d constantly want you around holdin’ his hand everywhere. one time—" she pauses as she bursts into giggles that, to katsuki, sound more like witch cackles than anything.

“one time you refused to hold his hand because you got scared he’d get cooties” she chuckles. katsuki feels his stomach drop.

“but he said that wouldn’t happen because he was too strong to get them !”

fuck patience.

katsuki grabs you and stalks off so fast you feel like you’re floating a little bit. he quickly yells out a “we’re goin’ to my room, don’t fuckin’ bother us !” then he’s quickly running up the stairs with you in tow. it’s only when you get to the hallway that leads to his bedroom that he looks back at you. he rolls his eyes when he sees you clearly fighting back a laugh.

“be quiet.”

“i didn’t even say anything yet !” you defend, giggling at the same time. katsuki fights back a smile at the sound.

“yeah, but you were going to and i don’t wanna hear it.” he bites. he squeezes your hand afterwards, telling you it was a joke in his own way. in actuality, katsuki could listen to you talk for hours and hours, days on end without getting bored. you’re being a brat right now though, so he won’t tell you that.

you smile at his back as katsuki drags you along muttering to himself about how he “never should’ve left you with that old witch for so long.”

“i remember that, y’know ? the cootie thing.” you admit jokingly. walking up a little faster you catch up to him and walk side by side. he glances at you from the corner of his eye then looks away and scoffs “of course you do.” he groans.

“ you’re mom didn’t mean to embarrass you, i’m sure.” you try to console him despite still snickering at the memory of his face going beet red after his mom had ‘exposed’ him. “and it was nice to see those pictures. it felt all...nostalgic.” you reminisce about the summer days you’d spent over the years with your katsuki with a smile. remembering the days of adventures and melting ice cream. of waterparks and bandaged covered knees.

katsuki doesn’t make a sound next to you and you think he’s just ignoring you until he speaks again, the scowl on his face threatens to melt away. “that old bat had it out for me the entire time. she’s fuckin’ evil incarnate, just doesn’t show it to you.” he feels prideful when he hears you laugh “that’s mean !” you scold through giggles, but his smirk says he’s seen through you. he comes to a stop and backs you up until your back is against the wall.

“yer laughin’ though. not as much of an angel as you’re pretending to be, are ya ?” he teases, leaning in closer to you until your noses brush. you try to fight back the smile that pulls at your mouth but it doesn’t work and after a moment you’re giggling again. katsuki swears every time you laugh an angel gets its wings. he steals a sloppy kiss to hear the sound again.

your hands play with the hem of his plain black shirt. he’s handsome, too handsome. his outfit consisted of a plain black t-shirt and some sweatpants yet he still looks like a model and it makes you want to kiss him silly, call it revenge for looking so good.

“ i’m not pretending to be anything, definitely not an angel.” you chuckle “unlike you, i’m just being nice.” you stick your tongue at him and he chuckles. rolling his eyes, he scoffs. his warm hands reflexively start running up and down your waist.

“yeah well, that’s cus unlike me your ass gets to go home. you’d be less nice if you were stuck in here like i am.” you playfully roll your eyes at his dramatics

“i doubt that. besides, miss mitsuki likes me !”

“she’ll get mad at you for callin’ her miss again.” you gasp, quickly clasping your hand over your mouth as if his mom would hear you from here. katsuki’s snort makes you snort as well.

“c’mon” he urges after a minute, grabbing at your hand and tugging at it “we’re goin’ to my room.” he mumbles out a “fuckin’ finally” and you laugh.

then you get an idea.

you suddenly rip your hand from his and katsuki immediately stops dead in his tracks to stare back at you like you had just insulted him. you let out a tiny snort at his expression.

“the hell are you doin’ ?”

you clasp your hands behind your back and sigh, even looking down at the floor sadly for extra dramatic effect “we can’t risk it, suki.”

“hah ?” katsuki fully turns to you, slowly starting to grow worried at your sudden shift in attitude. “what’re you talking about ?”

“i mean..if we hold hands..” you slowly look up at him, revealing your shit eating grin “you might get cooties..”

katsuki looks at you for about 15 seconds with an incredulous look on his face and you burst out laughing. he’s definitely one of the most expressive people you’d ever met, so seeing what kind of faces he’ll makes next is always fun.

he walks over, grabs your hand and squeezes hard, as punishment you assume. you yelp through giggles.

you hear him let out a disappointment sigh when he turns his back to you and drags you to his room again. you happily follow along behind him like you’d done for years now.

"i really shouldn't have left you with that old hag for so long." he mutters bitterly. you let out a snort and smile to yourself, content that your plan to mess with your boyfriend ended up being succesful. you perk up when he suddenly huffs out a laugh.

" and anyways, i won't be gettin' any cooties. m'too cool for 'em." you laugh out loud and the way he grips your hand a little tighter tells you you don't need to see his face to know he's proud of that.

"what if i have them ?" you challenge in between snickers.

katsuki scoffs dissaprovingly, you can basically see him rolling his eyes despite his back being to you.

"you don't. only losers get cooties. and as far as i know, you're not a loser." he's a little embarrassed because this is reminding him too much of when you were kids and it makes him cringe. when he'd come up with excuses like him being 'too strong' or 'too cool' to get cooties because he just couldn't admit he simply wanted you close. "yer anythin' but." you hear him mumble.

you walk up next to him with a somewhat shy smile "i'm flattered you think of me that way." you confess.

"don't let it get to your head." katsuki quips. you respond by sticking your tongue at him again. he tries to ignore the loud thumping of his heart but it's not going too smoothly for him. his cheeks slowly redden and he looks away from you again, not before shooting you an eyeroll.

"hope you know you owe me extra cuddle time for wastin' it talkin' to my ma." katsuki adds, changing the subject. you smile up at him in response and offer him a sweet 'mhm !'

his mom may have embarrassed the shit out of him, but he figures it wasn't all bad. he's still deadset on destroying that photo album before she ends up showing you that picture of him in the bath, though. he'll think about a plan later but right now he plans to enjoy his cuddle time with you, cootie free.

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heyidkyay · 5 months

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Eight

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: Hey! Quick note, this part has a LOT going on, it jumps from pov 2 or 3 times, but there's details mentioned that will make more sense later on, I hope that leaves no one confused:) Also there are a few new characters coming in, some will stay, some won't, so keep that in mind! I was gonna end this part like halfway through and then post, but it felt a little unfinished, so here it is hope you enjoy:))) x

Warnings: A short scene revolving around body image, mentions of scars, drugs, sobriety and heavy drinking

Masterlist

Messages now Jamie O (glasses!) In the area, fancy meeting up for coffee?

It had been a good few days since I had last messaged either Jamie or Matty. Though the latter hadn't seemed to have caught onto the fact that I had suddenly distanced myself. Jamie, on the other hand, had and had surprisingly given me some space with it.

Well, up until now that was.

It was a weary sigh that escaped me when I gazed down at my phone, needless chatter of gossiping mums and squealing children having faded far into the background.

I had only just managed to drop Teddy off at nursery, dipping and diving through the crowd to deliver him right to the classroom door, and was already halfway out of the playground now. It was my first day off in weeks- like proper day off. And now, I had Jamie to deal with.

Alright, maybe that was a bit harsh, but saying that, I wasn’t so much of a twat to just ignore the first message he’d sent me in a while. Especially after I'd disregarded all of the man's previous efforts. Still I couldn't quite stop myself from huffing quietly as I shot him back a message, anxiety creeping in.

Messages now Closer to Tufnell Park than the studio at the minute

Jamie’s response came only seconds later.

Messages now Jamie O (glasses!) No worries! Meet you near The Dome?

Sidestepping a few latecomers as I exited the school gate, I chewed on my bottom lip but eventually sent a text to let Jamie know that I'd be there. I only hoped that the man didn't ask too many questions about my sudden disappearance, I wasn’t too sure I could take the heat.

Early morning rush hour was in full swing by the time I’d made my way out onto the highstreet, people bustled past me to get to work without a care, or even an apology, for anyone who got in their way, zooming on ahead like a soldier in a storm. That was one of the things that had taken me some time to get used to, in truth. How different the crowds of London were to the tiny population of my hometown.

I'd just surpassed the underground station when I caught sight of a vaguely familiar head of dishevelled hair. Jamie stood a way ahead, smiling at the passersby with his hands shoved deeply into the lining of his coat's pockets. He wore a pair of dark, fitted trousers and had a smart looking scarf thrown haphazardly over his right shoulder, something to shelter him from the exaggerated cold.

Somehow, his face seemed to brighten upon seeing me approach.

"Glad you could make it!" He said as I approached, and he clapped my upper arm in light greeting. "Thought you would have managed to beat me here though."

I made do with a small smile, before gesturing my head over towards where a quaint cafe sat up a few doors down so that we could begin walking.

"Nah, it's pretty hectic trying to escape the crowds at this time. Did you catch the tube up here then?" I conversed and saw Jamie’s brow dip for the briefest of moments before he hastily shook his head at my question.

"Oh, no. Was just leaving a meeting up in Shoreditch, you were on my route so I thought I'd ask."

I gave a low hum, unsure, but didn't comment on it when I thanked him for holding the door open for me to pass through.

"What are you in the mood for then? It's on me."

"Ah, no it's-"

I didn't even get the chance to decline the offer before Jamie was waving me off with a charming smile and a wave of his arm. "Honestly, mate. It's fine, a cup of coffee won't have me out on my arse. So what do you want?"

Blinking with a somewhat disbelieving shake of my head, I prattled off my usual order in a low murmur and told Jamie that I'd find us a table. Just wanting to be helpful, but also to get a second to think things through.

The cafe wasn't too busy. It held the expected usuals; a handful of early-rising old timers and a couple of suits headed in late. So there were a few free tables up for grabs. I picked the one by the window.

Jamie joined me a few minutes later, wearing his usual grin as he carried over a tray of goodies. I raised an eyebrow at the mountain of sweet pastries procured but the man simply shrugged.

"Looked like you'd had a long morning, figured you to be the chocolate type." He commented as he nudged a large croissant in my direction.

Just looking at the buttery roll made my stomach grumble. Teddy and I had been in a wee bit of a rush this morning to get out of the house after my alarm had failed to wake us, so I'd skipped breakfast and picked Teds up something to eat on the way into school.

Toying with the rim of the coffee's handle, I gave Jamie an appreciative smile. “Cheers.” I breathed out and carefully pulled the plate in a little closer.

After that we both simply sipped at our warm drinks for a short while, watching as the morning commuters passed by the large window. It was a calm affair and far from as awkward as I might've expected the meeting to be. In fact, it was actually the first time Jamie and I had met up since that day at the studio, and even then we hadn't had much of an opportunity to chat.

Still, Jamie’s company felt very similar to that of Adi's- perhaps even Finn's. It allowed me to relax a little.

It was only after I'd broken off the end of my croissant that I spoke up.

"So, is driving across London at nine in the morning just to buy me a drink your idea of a date, or do you do this with all your mates?"

Jamie blinked at me once, twice, before his eyes widened in alarm, which caused me to, quite literally, snort into my tea.

"I'm joking! Don't fret. Just wondering why the sudden change in pace."

Jamie gifted me a sheepish grin in response and took a quick swig of his coffee before he finally replied.

"You went quiet on us." He shrugged as he picked apart a blueberry muffin, separating the berries from the soft sponge, which amused me somewhat. "Gave you a couple days to breathe, but I reckon you've had long enough. You wanna tell me what's up?"

My eyes strayed back to the window as I withheld a sigh, knowing full well that this had been coming.

“You know how it is.” I shrugged, almost petulant, and gripped at my cup a little tighter. "Just got busy. I mean, you have to deal with Matty and the band constantly. Can’t be an easy feat."

I received a laugh in turn but my attempt at a little lighthearted humour didn't derail Jamie.

"I know we haven't known each other that long, and you really do have no reason to trust me, of all people, with your problems. But I am here if you ever need anything. Can't speak for Matty, try as I might, but I wouldn't put it past him to go completely out of his way to do whatever you asked either." He chuckled to himself then, like he knew something I didn’t. "He actually hasn't been able to stop talking about you, you know. Not since we met."

I tapped at the mug and felt my tongue prod the inside of my cheek to keep from snorting at Jamie’s words. I just shook my head.

"Doubt he's even noticed I've stopped replying." I quipped lightly, trying to shrug off the sudden emotion that admission had stirred up.

"Ah, so you have been ignoring us then."

I inhaled sharply and dropped my gaze. I couldn’t outright lie to him.

"Yeah, sorry. Just had a lot going on, you know? This is all new for me, you and Matty, you've just. I don't even know. You just turned up out of the blue and..."

"Sort of invited ourselves into your life?" Jamie filled in with a wry smile.

"No, no! That's- that's not what I meant. Honestly. It's just strange. Different from what I expected." I attempted to backtrack, but ultimately failed.

"No, I get it." Jamie assured, but didn't push the topic any further. "You're stupid, by the way, if you think Matty hasn't noticed. In all the time I've known him, the idiot’s only ever texted me when he's needed something- but the last couple days? I don't think my phone’s stopped going off."

I shovelled another piece of the chocolatey pastry into my mouth to keep myself from replying or reading too much into that.

Jamie released a breathy chuckle and shook his head, as though he could read my reaction, my thoughts. "You've been good for him so far, Mouse. No parties. No drugs. Can't say the same thing about the drink, but he's cut a lot of it out. And I'm chalking that all up to you, ‘cause I can't think of anything else that might've changed in his life to have forced his hand like this."

His words confused me, but then he paused for a moment and purposely caught my eye.

"Whatever's happened, don't let it keep you from opening up. Not just for his sake, but for yours too. Besides, you can never have too many friends, can you?"

I wiped at my mouth before dipping my head in quiet assent. "No. I ‘spose I can do friends."

Jamie all but beamed, looking pretty proud of himself as he reached across the table for a scone. "Now, tell me all the things that I've missed."

***

Matty practically jumped out of his seat when he heard the front door rattle shut.

He'd been on edge since the moment he had woken up, but had decided to try for once. He made breakfast (well, rather a late lunch), tried all that meditating malarky (his therapist would be, oh so, proud), and even ended up doing a loop of the block in a desperate attempt to keep his chaotic mind at bay. But nothing. Nothing. Had been able to keep him from wearing the soles of his feet into the fucking floorboards.

"And where’ve you been?" Matty instigated as soon as Jamie strolled into his sitting room with his usual smile, shaking off the autumn chill he’d invited in with him.

"Around." Was all the twat replied as he draped his heavy overcoat on the back of one of the upholstered armchairs. He paused to eye Matty closely. "Why, what's got your knickers in a twist?"

Matty’s scowl was infamous by this point, but Jamie was one of the fair few to have gotten used to it. A right shame, that. "Nothing! Just- I texted you, wanted an update."

Jamie quirked an amused brow his way and it took all of Matty’s nervous pent up energy not to blow up at him. He could feel his own irritation building though, it tingled in the tips of his fingers and raised goosebumps across his skin.

"That all? You know the team won't give us an answer until they’re certain that it all won't fall through."

Matty gritted his teeth together and tugged a rough hand through his dishevelled hair. "It's bollocks! It's our fucking album, why do they get a say in what happens with it?"

Jamie sighed quietly to himself as he wandered over towards the heavyset globe sat in the far corner. Matty watched on as he slid its top off and procured a pair of tumblers, pouring two fingers of murky whiskey into each of the old fashioned glasses.

"You know why, mate."

They'd had this conversation too many times before. And yet,

Matty clenched his jaw to keep from snapping, lashing out, but his knuckles whitened around the glass when Jamie pressed it into his palm. He almost wanted to laugh.

"Thought you wanted me off the drink?" He remarked coldly but swallowed the spirit down before Jamie could give him an actual answer, or take it away. He only wished that the alcohol burned brighter, these days it barely left a bitter tang on his tongue.

Jamie didn't touch his own as he made his way on over towards the chaise lounge, but his fingertips tapped a smooth rhythm against the crystal. The house didn’t make a sound.

Matty followed, as expected, restlessly flinging his feet up onto the centre table before his agitation once again began to overwhelm him. He huffed when he dropped them back to the floor again, the heavy vibrations grounding him somewhat as he moved to rest his elbows on the knobs of his knees.

"That newest story's doing wonders for you right now though." Jamie told him gently when Matty’s quick eyes met his gaze, his hands still toying with the full glass. "They want to rebuild your image. Figure it'll help with album presales, and they're not really all that wrong, mate. Since you've been out of um-”

“You can say it.”

Jamie rolled his eyes but barrelled on, “Since you've been out of rehab. Well, the public's been enjoying seeing this new side of you. Besides, I thought you liked whatever her name was."

With a scoff, Matty forced his gaze away. "It's complete shit and you know it. PR just wants control. For me to fall in line. And the public couldn't give a single fuck about what I do! All they live for is the gossip, the drama. And that's what I do best, no? Don't worry though, J, I'm sure I'll fuck up sooner or later."

"Don't talk like that." Jamie scolded as he pushed his tumbler onto the table and moved a little closer. He looked to be fighting an internal battle, his fingers twitching on the inseam of his leg to keep himself from reaching out to comfort.

"Oh, fucking come off it, Jamie! You know it's true." Matty spat back, the rage once again building. These past few days had had him fraying. "I bet they’re already sitting there at that table just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I already know they’ll want to be the first in the know, when I finally do fuck up again. Spout about what a waste of space I am! How they should've sacked me off sooner. That it should've been me and not-"

"Don't."

Jamie’s voice cut through the room like a blaring siren, but Matty had never heard him speak so lowly.

"Don't go there. He wouldn't want you thinking that way."

Matty locked his jaw and narrowed his scrutinising eyes at Jamie. "Don't act like you know what he'd want."

Jamie glanced away for the briefest of seconds and inhaled slowly before his gaze finally returned. Matty could see his own torment reflected in Jamie’s sad eyes. "It hurt me too. You know that."

Matty forced his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Unable to deal with the many emotions that threatened to overpower him. He swiped Jamie's drink off of the table and swallowed it down in one, then swiftly stood and strode across the room to make another.

The amber liquid warmed his chest as expected and he felt the moment it hit his empty stomach. He braced himself against the globe's golden stand, leaving his hair to fall helplessly into his face. Thankfully, it shielded his glossy eyes from Jamie’s view.

It was still so hard. Most nights it was all he could ever picture-

No. Not today, he rebuked. Not now. Not again.

It was a never ending nightmare that he just couldn't seem to wake himself up from. And how he fucking wished he could wake up.

Matty went to refill the glass again but faltered. His hand stilled, midair, fingers itching to grab at the ancient old bourbon that sat only inches away, but instead he reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his phone.

Too many notifications cluttered the screen. But not a single one from the person he wanted to talk to most.

In a fit of dismay, he went to throw the stupid thing at the nearest wall but a hand caught his wrist before he could do any real damage.

Matty’s eyes flickered up to meet Jamie’s- he choked.

"I just-" He tried to force out but the words felt like thick bile in his throat. His lip trembled and Jamie tugged him close. Matty wondered when he'd ever allowed the man to get so close. To breach his high walls.

"I know." Jamie hushed him, allowing a steady hand to come to rest at the back of Matty’s neck. "I know, mate."

Matty wondered if he truly did.

***

Mesmerising.

I let the word play over and over on a loop in my head as my fingertips trailed along the jagged lines of my torso.

Seventeen I'd been- my first time with this boy from college and he had called the scars I was forced to bare mesmerising. As if they were something special, something to be proud of. I'd frozen back then, the word had, so suddenly, hindered my entire world, but he'd gone on exploring without even noticing the way my mind had started to spiral.

The scars had always been a difficult pill to swallow. They weren't mine. I hated how others could so easily claim their own. His scars. My scars. Hers. I didn't want them. They were just there. A myriad of haunted memories to which I'd been burdened with since the age of seven.

All these years later and still I couldn't recall the smooth expanse of skin that had once been there- untarnished, unharmed.

The bronze shadows, created by the setting sun which illuminated my bedroom walls in a burning shade of amber, crawled across the floorboards beneath my feet and caressed my skin. They dipped and curved, exaggerating sharp lines and hallowing shallow slopes.

I'd only meant to have a quick shower, in and out, before Finn inevitably ended up dropping Teddy back home. But I'd left the wardrobe door wide open in my haste to leave early this morning and had yet to shut it, exposing the slim mirror attached to the inside of the wooden door. A slip up.

So now my distorted body stared back at me mercilessly and I couldn't find it in myself to tear my eyes away. The meek girl stood within its four cutting lines just wasn't me. It was simply the reflection of a sheltered kid who'd been forced to grow up far too quickly.

Her skin, hardly what you'd pale but not far off, was flushed and pink all over from the steam of the shower. Her hair, still damp and wet, clung to the majority of her forehead and dripped water droplets down the line of her throat. Her eyes, usually a deep, warm colour, were somewhat sunken, hidden behind heavy lids and long lashes. The dark circles that sat beneath them only emphasised the muted scarlet that rimmed her waterline- a lack of sleep.

I wet my lips. They were dry, bitten from hours of relentless anxiety, but parted enough so that my front teeth could just about be seen. Her face was lined by worry. Fine wrinkles etched themselves around the corners of her eyes and mouth, then again between her furrowed brows.

The scars, faded but somehow still raw, swept up her neck and collarbone, and jumped over her right shoulder. One crept across the cut of her jaw, whilst another sliced through the bridge of her nose to meet another, smaller scar, on her cheek. Her chest, where it had been previously impaled, was now stretched and knitted. Some lines were a few shades darker than her natural complexion, maroon, and oftentimes cardinal. Others were lighter, pale and whitened. Faded.

A gruesome gash down the centre of her abdomen led to a spattering of fine hairs that lined her navel, trailing low beneath the hem of the towel she'd wrapped around her waist earlier. Her hands were now fisted at her sides though, so much so that prominent veins danced up the insides of her forearms, skirting around the few fawn freckles that painted her skin.

Mesmerising.

The sudden blare of a mobile ringing sent a sharp chill up my spine and knocked the air back into me. Shakily I inhaled, averting my eyes from the mirrored prison, then spun round on my heel to answer the call.

There was no greeting, no small talk. It was cutthroat and to the point.

"I need a drink. You coming?"

And I had never answered a question quicker.

It was a hard task, squinting down at my phone in an attempt to concentrate on the text I was trying to send to Finn, but the strobe lights and throng of people around me were making the task rather fucking difficult.

To be honest though, I couldn’t actually remember the last time I'd stepped foot inside a club. Or even spent an entire evening sat in the local pub. But I’d been all but desperate, and so, in the heat of the moment, I had practically jumped at the first offer I’d been given.

I was beginning to second guess that decision now though as I pushed my way through the rowdy crowds, the assorted smell of liquor and sweat already clinging to my clothes. I hadn't really put too much thought into those, too busy trying to escape my own head. Really, I’d just thrown on an old skirt from my uni days, a top that made my tits look great but hid the scar there, and the well-worn leather jacket Finn had gifted me at the end of my first year working on the show.

I had just sent the text off, double checking with the man himself that he was still alright to have Teddy til the following morning, when a raised voice caught my attention.

Frowning, my head snapped up but that soon faded once I caught sight of the tall ginger propped up against the bar not too far away. My lips curled up into a lopsided grin on their own command and I was quick to pocket my phone, already moving towards him.

"Mighty Mouse. You actually made it!" Ronan Kelly bellowed in that familiar Irish lilt of his, welcoming me in with a hearty squeeze to the waist as we embraced. "It's a feckin' miracle!"

I gave him an impish smile and dipped my head slightly to rub at my nose, then made the effort to catch Ronan's icy gaze. "I guess it has been a while."

"A while- Babe, I ain't seen you in months!" Ronan laughed, flashing a row of white teeth and wrinkling his bright blue eyes. I felt some of my worries ease at the sight of the man's familiar face, a warm reminder of older days. "Can't believe you actually agreed to come out with us!"

I shook my head and released an airy chuckle, "You know how it is, Ro- got Teddy to worry about now."

Ronan's face, if possible, lit up even further at the mention of the small toddler. "Ah, grand! How is the wean? At school now, right?"

It was sweet of him to ask and I smiled up at him as I went to answer, but was forced further into Ronan’s space when some prat barged past me to get to the bar. Ronan caught me by the waist with a natural ease he’d always been capable of and narrowed his eyes at the guilty party from over my shoulder.

Not wanting things to escalate, I did my best to quickly wave it off and distract. "Teddy's good!" I heard myself tell him, voice slightly raised to be heard over the pulsing music, tiptoeing almost now in his grasp. "He's with Finn at the moment."

Ronan's gaze reluctantly trailed back to me upon hearing me speak, he reluctantly smiled and nodded but had yet to drop his hands from where they were now stationed at my hips.

"I'm sure Finn is completely lovin' that."

With a light laugh, I rolled my eyes at his sarky reply and moved to press my forearm up against the edge of the bar’s countertop. "They're a proper little duo. Finn has been a saint, what with all his help and that. Don't think I'd be standing here today without him really."

"Well, let's cheers to that then, hey?" Ronan grinned, then raised a hand to gesture over towards the barman.

Within seconds two pints were being placed on the bartop, a dizzying yellow colour filled to the brim with minuscule bubbles that had my mouth watering. It had been a long while since a fresh pint of lager had wet my lips and it helped that Ronan’s presence was a comfort.

"Sláinte!" He announced brashly, already having hoisted his glass into the air between us.

"Cheers!" I laughed, clinking our glasses together before gulping down a too large swig.

"That's what I like to see!" Ronan whooped, almost proudly. He squeezed my right hip in celebration before choosing to steer us both away from the bar and over towards a wall lined with darkened booths. "Come on, Auley and everyone's waiting over here, been excited to see ya!”

I only nodded in reply, pint close to my chest as I followed after him, bobbing between an array of patrons effortlessly now. The earlier anxiety shovelled deep, deep down.

***

Withdrawal was something Matty had never thought too much about in the years before. He'd always had everything right there, on tap. A quick hit, a line just to pick him up. It always felt so easy.

But now, without the copious amount of pills, the parties, he finally realised why the fuck people were never able to stay away for too long. Because sooner or later, they always ended up crawling back.

It wasn't so much the flu-ish like sickness that had him reeling, although he really could've done without the high-fever sweats and the full body tremors. It was more that ever encompassing sorrow. The depression that never seemed to lift- but then again, depressed wasn't even the first word he would use to describe it. It was like a thick plume of murky black that fogged every exit, far beyond the gut wrenching nausea that clawed away at his insides at all hours of the day, or the constant drilling in his head that kept him from sleep.

Being without-

Being without was practically maddening. A spiral of hellish days with no escape, the only choice he had was to carry on or simply turn back. And he'd come too far now to run towards the latter, he’d already made that mistake. And if he had anything to thank his godforsaken mother for, it was the sheer stubbornness they both so clearly shared.

Matty couldn't complain though, he wouldn’t, as much as he wished he often could though, because he was still leaning heavily on the spirits. He knew. As well as the band and Jamie, who'd also been hellbent on 'helping'. In their own way.

Although the idiots hadn't made things much easier for him, the guys hadn't put up much of a fight against his drunk ramblings or the never ending mood swings. They just took it all in stride. Which Matty was mostly grateful for.

The alcohol though, he'd currently taken to using as a crutch. He'd drink a little more and more just to cope with the effects, the longing, to get him through to the next day. But he'd never felt too dependent on it before and didn't feel as though it was a massive problem now, he'd been drinking since before he'd worked out how to pick the lock on his dad’s old liquor cabinet. He’d keep drinking ‘til he was near the grave.

The drinking though, was just a baby habit in comparison to the drugs.

It was also how he'd managed to find himself out on a Thursday night.

He'd actually managed to forgo Hann's mothering this time, sending his mate off home early from the studio before he'd called up an old friend. Itching for that familiarity of older times, shaking with it really, but knowing better.

"Oi, Healy- you still with us?" Crowed a loud voice in his left ear.

Matty startled at it and turned back around to find the one and only Danny Willis hanging over his shoulder, usual open-mouthed grin on full display, a drink in hand.

He blinked up at him once before Matty’s lips turned upwards into a lazy smile, he spun around on his foot to get further in his friend's face. "Thought you'd gone off with that bird?"

"Who, blondie?" Danny questioned, smirking now. "Nah, wouldn't have left you hanging all alone, mate."

Matty snorted.

"Ah, so you do care!" He drained the dregs of his bourbon then grinned at the twat, "Always wondered whether you fancied me, Danny boy! Guess this just proves it, don’t it?"

Danny wound an arm around his shoulders and leant in to press a sloppy, wet kiss to his cheek. Matty pulled away, cackling as he tried to shrug the added weight off.

"Prick." Matty scoffed lightly, stumbling as he rubbed at his face. He grunted at the small group he'd accidentally bulldozed into in his haste and they all scowled in return, but it wasn't long before Danny jumped in to rescue and steer him away.

"Come on. Let's get out of here, hey? The next bar awaits and all that." Danny proclaimed, chucking back the remnants of his own drink. Matty chuckled when the man winced and then wiped the corners of his mouth. "Reckon we might be able to find someone decent for you to take home there!"

Matty merely hummed in reply as they pushed their way through a set of double doors and out into the night, not really listening as he propped himself up against Dan's side, ignoring the whispers that tended to follow wherever he went.

"Ah, look at that, would you!" Danny's voice came again, right by his ear, as he paused on the pavement to cock his chin outwards, forcing Matty to follow his gaze. "It's a full moon!"

Matty rolled his eyes.

***

"Come on, Mouse!" Auley tried for the umpteenth time that night. His larger than life smile, I noted, had always been much gentler than that of his brother's. "You can't stay cooped up in this booth all evenin'! You need to put yourself out there, darlin’- have some fun!"

I shook my head, chuckling up at the giant of a man standing before me. "I swear I'm fine here, Aul. You go and have enough fun for the both of us."

Auley's face scrunched up in distaste as he reluctantly pushed away from the table's edge, the dim lights of the bar illuminating his hair, almost seeming to set it alight as it added a halogen glow to the already coppery red.

Ronan chose that moment to reappear, brushing past his brother to settle back into the booth next to me. He set two more drinks down on the table. "Leave the poor lass alone, won’t you, Aul! You know how she gets."

I rolled my eyes, albeit fondly, and Auley did the same as he slowly backed away, mouth quirked upwards. "Yeah, yeah. Yer like a pair of old women, you two- peas in a pod or somethin'."

"Ah, shove off!" Ronan laughed, a deep rumbling sound that shook his whole body. "Think I can hear the dance floor callin' your name, mate."

"Too right." Auley quipped, flashing another bright grin at his brother before he turned back to face me. "Know that this isn't over just yet. You might've won this battle but you ain't won the war, darlin’. I'll soon get that dance."

I snorted, but was unable to help my grin. "One day, babe."

Auley winked at me and I watched on as he melted into the mob of people before us, leaving Ronan and I alone.

I observed the crowd for a long moment, taking note of all their dizzying smiles. For a Thursday night, the bar was oddly rampacked, but I couldn't find it in myself to complain too much, not when everyone seemed to be having a great time.

There was a large group of us out tonight. Alongside asking me to join, Ronan and Auley had brought along the entirety of their flat as well as a few others, some from uni, others from work, I reckoned. They'd all split up within the first half hour though, but they kept drifting back and forth, I could easily spot Penn and his brightly coloured shirt over by the snooker table in the very far corner, and most of the girls had crowded together out on the dance floor.

"Havin' a good night then?"

I repositioned myself upon hearing Ronan's question, he was closer now in an attempt to be heard over the music, and I sipped at the foamy top of my pint before answering. "Yeah, I am. It's, well it's been a while since I last did anything like this." I chuckled, eyes roaming the room again.

Ronan shifted closer once more, the booth’s leather seat squeaking quietly under his weight as the song on the overhead speakers faded into the next.

"I'm glad. We haven't seen you proper since yer last year at uni."

It was true but that wasn't just down to me, I felt the need to say. But instead gave him a small smile as I just shrugged, thumbing the edge of the table, "Life gets busy with a baby. Plus, it's not as though any of you lot had time to just drop by and see me, with all your classes and what not."

Ronan’s lips pursed at my words and a quiet stretched between us. I watched on as he fiddled with the bottom of his pint glass, before finally he replied. "Could've made time. Finn did. Cassie, too. Just- it felt strange, going back after that summer and you not bein' there."

To be honest, I didn't really know what to say to that.

As much as I had loved my time at university, I hadn't really had much space for it in my life after Teddy had come along. And although I’d never regretted my decision to leave, not after everything I'd gone through to get to where I am today. Because my God, had that been hard. I did sometimes miss the memories I’d made there, the people I’d met and, surprisingly, the workload too. It made me question whether I could have had it all, a degree and a baby. Although, I somehow doubted that that was what Ronan was grasping at here.

But it wouldn’t do well to continue to dwell on the past. I'd already spent a large portion of my life doing exactly that, and I’d known in the long run that I would have to have let go of some things in order to provide a better life for Teddy, better than the one that I’d had. I wanted my son to have every possible opportunity, every choice, in order to better himself. I wanted him to be a kid for as long as life would let him.

And as much as I really did love spending time with Ronan and the old gang, I also knew that come tomorrow morning I had actual commitments and responsibilities to attend to. I didn't have the opportunity anymore to skive and bunk off of lectures so that I could deal with a nasty hangover and sleep in. Teddy was always relying on me to come through. And come through I would. Every time.

But right now! I just needed to let my hair down. Enjoy an evening away, and maybe (hopefully) get rid of some of that tension that had been piling up over the previous weeks.

Thankfully though, I was saved from answering when a flushed Alice came hurrying over, clinking her cocktail on the table so hard it's fruity contents spilled out across the wooden surface. The overexcited girl, who was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet, didn't pay much mind to the mess as she threw herself into our booth and peered over her shoulder to search for something or other.

I shot Ronan a bewildered look, but the ginger merely widened his eyes at me as if to say that he had no clue what was going on either.

"Er, you alright, Al?"

Alice's head snapped back so fast that I honestly fretted a little over the whiplash she must've felt.

"No?! Do I look alright?" Alice stressed, digging her perfectly painted nails into the red cushion that lined the booth's back. "You'll never believe who Penn and I just saw walk in!"

I only hid a smile to myself whilst Ronan decided to humour Alice. "Who d’ya see, Ali-cat?"

Alice's face was nothing like I had ever seen before, her usual pretty smile had been traded in for a kilowatt grin, bunching her rosy cheeks and narrowing her soft brown eyes.

"That singer! You know- the one with the hair and the face! Ah, what's his name? From that band!"

"Matty!" Answered Indra- seemingly a friend of a friend of a friend- who had bounded up to our table in the time Alice had been freaking out, practically hyperventilating. "The. Matty Healy!"

"That's who!" Alice exclaimed and was nodding away excitedly now, whilst I simply sat frozen, drink halfway to my lips.

"Didn't you interview him?" Indra queried suddenly, her eyes as wide as saucers whilst her gaze flitted back and forth between me and the bar at an impossible pace.

Shakily, I set my glass down.

"You did?" Ronan piped up beside me. I swallowed thickly before turning my head towards him, then back towards the two girls, who were anxiously waiting on my reply.

"Uh, yeah." It felt as though I’d forced the words out of my mouth. A ball of cotton having replaced my tongue.

"Oh, Mouse! Introduce us, would you? Please!" Alice all but squealed imploringly.

My alarmed eyes flickered back to Ronan again, then Indra, and then Alice.

My mouth had never felt so dry as I tried my best to ground myself, to get over the sudden, unexpected headfuck that had sent my mind reeling.

"Ah, I don't know, Al. It's, well. I-" I really did struggle to find the right words that could possibly get me out of this entire situation, but before I even knew what was happening, Indra was already reaching for me and pulling me up out of the booth.

Alice jumped up to join her and patted my sleeve eagerly before proceeding to try and drag me away. Ronan, thank the stars, reached out to stop them just in time, tugging on the hem of my jacket and shooting the two girls a sharp look.

"Oi, you two. Behave, will yer? You didn't even give her the chance to answer."

Alice looked up and flashed me a sheepish grin, "Sorry, hun."

Feeling sheepish and rather relieved, really, to be freed from all the clawing hands, I waved her apology off, knowing Ali was only just drunk and excited. "It's fine, just- I think I'm better off heading home now in truth. You know, I've got Teddy to think about."

Both of the girls' disappointment was overwhelmingly obvious, but they didn't push it any further, simply nodded and tried to smile as best as they could.

"No worries, Mouse. You get on home, babe. Sorry again."

"Wait, you're not actually leaving, are you?" Ronan questioned suddenly, causing me to cast a glance over at him. He was frowning now, that much was obvious from the deep set line rapidly forming between his bushy brows. "It's not 'cause of that tosser, is it?"

Immediately, I felt myself shake my head, already knowing that the lie would taste bitter in my mouth.

"Ah, come off it! Stay for another round at least." Ronan goaded me, moving to stand with the girls, his hand still on my elbow though.

"Nah, I'd best head home, Ro. I don't want to be dealing with a hangover as well as a screaming toddler tomorrow morning." I insisted with a lighthearted chuckle, I gifted him an apologetic smile whilst fishing out my phone to call a cab.

It wasn't even late yet, just gone eleven, and there was an unread text from Finn demanding that I have some fun. I gave a heavy sigh.

"Don't be like that, babe. Come on, one more drink and I'll even walk you home." Ronan raised a brow just as he jutted out his jaw and smiled.

It was tempting but...

I laughed lightly and shook my head. "Honestly, Ro-"

But the man wouldn't hear it. "Come on, ladies. Help me out here!" He implored to both of the girls standing either side of him now, the way he towered them was almost funny.

Indra giggled just as Ronan wrapped his strong arms around her and Alice, shaking them a little. Alice simply rolled her eyes at him in amusement, but pulled away slightly to squeeze my hand.

"It's up to you, M. You know we love seeing you, but I can call you a cab if you really want to head off now."

I could only smile at her and silently questioned why we didn't spend more time together outside of the group. I could easily recall Finn saying something or other about a pottery class the two of them had attended the previous weekend and wondered if that would be something I might enjoy.

"I'll be fine, babe. Thank you, though." I told her kindly, before turning to face Ronan. "You enjoy the rest of your night, alright? I'll text you when I've made it back."

"Mouse..." Ronan groaned unhappily, "Just one more drink. For me?"

I shook my head and tugged my jacket further around my body as I stepped away from the trio, patting down my pockets to make sure that I did have everything I needed.

"I'll come out again, soon." I promised them, but tried to aim my words at the frowning redhead as I continued to back away. "You can hold me to it."

Ronan worked his jaw before he nodded curtly, and I sighed to myself before spinning on my heel to hastily make my exit.

Only, it didn't quite happen like that of course, because, of all the people, in all the world, I just had to bump right into none other than Matty.

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variousincorrectxreader · 1 year

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quick word vomit.

my favorite genshin characters reacting to your death.

includes: Sucrose, Amber, Zhongli and Lumine.

Warnings: character death (reader), slight spoilers in Sucrose's part, blood in both Amber and Lumines part, reader is sick in Zhongli's part.

Sucrose

She was completely unaware that you had left without taking proper first aid, she was simply too distracted to do her usual check up on you. Oh how she wishes she did so now.

"dont worry! Sweets. I'll be back before you know it. Its just a simple supply run after all."

and you had left, leaving with a peck on the cheek and a murmured I love you that she barely caught, too focussed on her strange experiments to reply. You had run into a horde of monsters blocking the road. A very unlucky random encounter. Only you and two others were fully equipped to fight, and fight you did... you fought well, but you had sustained heavy injuries, and you had no way of healing them. How stupid you felt, how guilty you felt. Because now you were leaving Sucrose behind, just like her so called friends. your vision went dark, dot by dot, the yelling of your comrades fading away into nothing.

Sucrose was just finishing yet another experiment when a knock on the door was heard. 'Strange,' she thought. Normally you would just barge in, recounting your epic tale of the day. Well whatever. She was just happy to see you, excited to show you her findings. So why did her stomach twist uncomfortably as she approached the door?

Instead of your smiling face, smudged with dirt and who knows what, she was met with two grim faces. Both looked as if they had been through hell. Sucrose's heart dropped as she saw what they were holding in their hands. Her world faded away, tuning out the condolences given by your teammates as her focus zoomed onto the familiar weapon and- Your vision. Dull and devoid of color.

in that moment, Sucrose felt her entire world break, her usual anxiety around unknown people crumbling away as she snatched the vision out of their hands, sinking to her knees and sobbing her eyes out, tears fogging up her glasses.

You had left her alone.

———

Amber

The Outrider was there, with you when you died, having been assigned a mission around the edge of Mondstadt, responding to reports of treasure hoarders passing through constantly. Her mind frequently wanders to that fateful day, wishing she was able to protect you better... wishing to have been stronger. You had gotten shot. Twice, an arrow wedged painfully in the side of your ribcage and another buried in your chest. Warm blood was coating your lovers hands, drenching your shirt and sticking to Ambers body. Her brown eyes were staring fearfully into your own

"H-hey, sleepyhead... stay awake, alright! That way w-we can... go eat some sticky honey roast with P-paimon and the t-traveler..."

she knows its useless, you know its useless... you've been bleeding for too long, the wounds too deep to heal properly. But she still tries to cling onto hope. And all you do is smile, your breaths shallow. And in your last moments you comfort her, youre dying and yet... shes the one seeking your comfort instead of her giving it to you. She feels so worthless right now. As she watches your vision and the light in your eyes flicker, she pulls you close. Rocking you as if you were falling asleep. Your last words being a testament of your love for her.

and as your grip on her hand loosens, she knows you have gone somewhere she cant follow, not even if she ran with all her might, or crossed the most dangerous chasms with her wind glider. Youre gone, and she will forever blame herself.

———

Zhongli

The Geo Archon is grateful for the time he has with you, so many good memories of laughing and telling stories while drinking wine.

But he cannot stop himself from despising the fact that you, are a mere mortal. While he, he is a God with much more time on Teyvat that you could ever dream of.

especially when you are brought into the Funeral parlor he is currently employed at. Was this why Hu Tao was acting weird? Zhongli was no fool, he knew you were sick. He knew that your lifespan was short, even more so than the average mortal life. Bu he didnt expect you to just flicker out so fast. Zhongli is used to seeing the people he cares for dying, for he has been around to see the rise and fall of many things, including Liyue itself. But it still hurts just as much as it did a thousand years ago, to lose someone so important to him.

you left him letters, the first one he found in your shared home, on his bedside table. Along with the Vision he himself had given to you, The letter had been an apology, for not telling him that your health had gotten worse. You also said that there were more, more letters hidden in places the two of you shared fond memories. He finds them all quite quickly, his eyes watering as he looks over each one, lovingly written

'I love you,' these three words ended each letter, and in response, after reading each one. He would say "I miss you." Even hundreds of years after you are gone. ———

Lumine (Traveler)

Lumine couldnt feel anything. The only thing she could see is the blood, dripping from your gashes as you tried to stumble into Mondstadt. Presumably to the cathedral. She didnt care about the stains she couldnt care about anything as she ran with all her might, carrying you in her arms. She had sent Paimon go on ahead, to tell Barbara of your condition.

Right now, everything is dangerous. Anything could hurt you. It doesnt help that the blood loss has made you delirious, blurting out a sudden confession.

"shhh, save it for l-later."

its ironic, the words she wants to hear the most during a time she doesnt want to hear them. She tells you to hush, to save your strength for while Barbara heals you, knowing the Deaconess can only do so much. And yet you dont stop. You keep listing reasons why you have fallen for her. her determination, her skill, her voice, and her eyes. Oh how you love her eyes.

suddenly, before she realizes it, she has carried you halfway to the cathedral, and she can see Barbara rushing towards the two of you, fear clouding her ocean eyes. She begins to heal you, but she is being realistic. You have lost a lot of blood, the trail thick throughout the city of freedom. She tells Lumine there is a slim chance of survival, but she takes it. A slim chance is better than no chance at all. and she watches as the medics take you away, unaware that she was fighting them off until Paimon yelled at her to calm down. Before you are out of sight, she screams out. Desperately;

"I love you too! So... p-please survive so we can go on a date!"

your smile has a sense of finality that she despises, oh how she hates how youve accepted your fate. She wouldnt be able to accept your death. So how are you? After she has cleaned herself of the crimson staining her body, she makes her way to the cathedral, Paimon trailing behind, equally as worried. Its strange seeing the pixie so serious about something.

and the waiting game begins. Lumine was never patient, and this moment was no different. She was restless as she waits for an update on your condition.

when Barbara finally comes out, Lumine stands up, rushing over, seeking an answer.

the one she gets shakes her to her core. She has just lost another important person in her life. Barbara speaks up, her voice shaky. "They... they wanted you to have this..." your vision, lacking the beautiful glow that reminded her of your eyes. She didnt take it, despite you wanting her to have it, she couldnt. Seeing it broke her even more.

She's lost her brother, and now she's lost you. You've finally gone somewhere she cant follow And when she reaches for you again, you won't be there.

"w-we were supposed to go on a date..."

#Zhongli x reader #Lumine x reader #sucrose x reader #amber x reader #genshin impact #female reader #gn reader #male reader #Genshin x reader #genshin x reader angst #Angst #genshin angst #Genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #x reader

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hoodharlow · 1 year

Text

That’s What They All Say

AN: this was originally a request @jackharlowsthings requested MANY months ago. it was supposed to be one shot but I decided to expand it into a mini series lmao also idk about strip clubs. I watched hustlers but I skipped around bc JLo was in every other scene so all depictions

Requested? by @jackharlowsthings that being said REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Warnings: slut-shaming, ICE, parent deportation, scammers, Jack being a dumbass

Word Count: 2.7k words

Jack rolled his eyes at his younger brother.

“No.” he said, pulling up to an empty gas pump at Costco.

“C’mon man.” Clay told his older brother.

“And have mom beat my ass for corrupting you? Hell the fuck no.” Jack said, grabbing his wallet from the cup holder. “I don’t even think they let people under twenty-one.”

“They will if Jack Harlow asks.” the younger of the Harlow brothers grinned mischievously.

“I’ll ask Urb.” he said, giving in.

Jack got out of his car and approached the pump’s card reader. He put his card information and grabbed the nozzle. He was almost run over by a light blue Honda Civic, zooming into the pump in front of him. He was ready to give the driver a piece of his mind, when he saw who came out of the car.

The one and only, Renata Herrera.

Jack’s high school crush.

They ran in different social circles, mostly knowing each other because they were in the same AP classes. Renata was more reserved and focused on academics, spending her time in the library reading or working on SAT prep. She was somewhat popular because she was in the school's dance team and track team. But her popularity did not compare to Jack’s.

He was one of the most popular people in school. He was that talkative but loveable guy in all honors and AP classes that somehow passed tests without trying. But because of that teachers would sit him with Renata because she was the quiet student that teachers hoped would make Jack stop talking. It never worked. In fact it made him more talkative since she would ignore him and he was desperate for her attention.

Jack never expected to ever see her after graduation. She was their class's valedictorian and had a full ride to Stanford for track. Her event in track was the pole vault. She won state three times for it. Her senior superlative was 'Most likely to be at the Olympics' because she was that good at pole vaulting. She was set for life.

Even her parents' Mexican restaurant was shut down a few months after graduation. He was visiting home for a weekend and wanted to go eat there because really likes the red enchiladas from there. He was caught off guard when he saw that it was becoming a Starbucks. He assumed her family ended up moving to California to be close to her.

Jack glanced over to her. She looked good, grown up. Granted it was four years since they saw each other, but still she was stunning. She was in a grey sweatpants and hoodie set with a black coat over it. She was busy typing on her phone. He knew it was his chance to talk to her.

"I know that's not who I think it is." He said, making his way to her.

Renata looked up at him, a bit startled. She stared at him for a few seconds waiting for it to register. "Jack?"

"The one and only." He grinned, opening his arms.

"Oh my, hi!" She said, giving him a quick hug. "I almost didn't recognize you."

She did recognize him. He was Jack Harlow, for fucks sake. He was well known in Louisville for being able to make a name for himself. Renata was just processing that he remembered her after so many years.

Her pump dinged that it was full. She went over and removed the nozzle from her car. She took the receipt and shoved it in her coat's pocket.

"It was nice seeing you, Jack." She smiled.

"Wait," he reached for her hand. "Tonight my album is coming out. My team is throwing a small gathering. I'm having some of my closest friends there. You should come so we can catch up."

"I wish I could, but I work night shifts." Renata said apologetically.

"Let me get your number then." He pulled out his phone. "I'm gonna be here for a while, we can catch up some other time."

"Um…yeah, okay." She nodded. She took his phone and typed her number. "Here."

"Aight, I'll hit you up later." Jack nodded.

"Bye, Jack." She said before getting in her car.

Jack turned back and removed the nozzle from his car. He took the receipt and tossed it in the trash bin. He got in the car.

"Who was that?" Clay asked. He watched how his older brother approached the woman and got her number in a span of five minutes. "She's hot as fuck."

"Ren Herrera, we went to high school with us." Jack said, driving out of the gas station. "Her parents owned the place with the bomb enchiladas."

"Oh," the younger Harlow nodded. "I miss that place. They had really good food."

Jack nodded in agreement. When they got to their parents' house, they went to their respective rooms and rested because they had a long night ahead of them. Jack's debut album was being released at midnight and his team was hosting a get together with some label executives and friends and family. After that he and his close friends were going to go to a strip club called Club Mystique for a small after party between the guys.

He scrolled through the people he followed on Instagram, trying to see if he followed Renata. She wasn't there. Jack went on the search bar and typed her name. She popped immediately. She was private so he requested to follow her. He read her bio. Under her name was 'UofL 2020'. Jack frowned. Why would she have the University of Louisville in her bio when she was at Stanford. Unless she graduated two years early and was in grad school. That wouldn't surprise him, in high school she was dual enrolled at a community college so she could get college credits. Seconds later she accepted his request.

Jack set his phone down on his desk and rubbed his hands together, thinking of the perfect message to use so he could slide in her dms.

“What's the move after this?” a girl that wouldn’t leave Jack’s side asked.

Jack had no idea who she was. She was friends with someone who was friends with someone else who was friends with one of the guys from PG. She somehow sneaked into the VIP area that was reserved for him and his friends. The whole night she acted like she was friends with people, eventually getting a seat next to Jack.

“You know who I ran into earlier.” Jack asked the guys, turning away so the girl couldn’t join in the conversation.

“Who?” Urban nodded his head as he passed a blunt around.

“Ren Herrera.” he said.

“Oh my god, she’s such a fucking slut.” the random girl said, getting everyone's attention, even Jack’s. “She fucked my boyfriend at her job. I’m not surprised because sluts like her work at places like that but still you would think someone like her would have some self respect.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Urban asked, taking his blunt from her. “No one knows who the fuck you are. Please don’t fucking insert yourself in a conversation that wasn’t directed to you.”

She turned a bright red and grabbed her purse, pushing everyone out of the way as she left.

“We should get going. Your party is at eleven.” one of his friends told Jack.

“Yeah, let me say goodbye to some people then we’ll head out,” he said.

He made his way to his team and let them know that he and his friends were leaving. They knew about the small after party at Club Mystique he was having with his friends. They even sent out NDAs for the dancers and the other staff to sign earlier.

The club was in full motion when Jack and his friends entered. There were several dancers dancing on individual poles while there was a mainstage with about six dancers performing to ‘Buttons’ by the Pussycat Dolls played as people threw money at them. There were two bars on either end of the clubs with servers in white tube tops and lilac booty shorts bringing out drinks to the consumers.

A hostess led them upstairs to their private rooms where they had bottle service and several dancers ready to entertain them. They had the guys hand over their phones because the club had a very strict no phones policy for the safety of the staff. One of them explained that a few years back one of the bottle girls was exposed for working there and apparently her family was well known at one of the catholic churches and a lot of deacons would show up to the club to harass her.

“Which one of you is Jack?” one of the dancers asked the guys.

“Uh, that would be me.” Jack said, awkwardly raising his hand.

“Okay follow me, your friends got you a special treat.” she said, opening the door for him.

Jack looked at his friends but they divided and conquered. Some of them were taking body shots while others were throwing money at some of the dancers. Before he exited the room he motioned Urban to keep an eye on Clay.

He made small talk with the dancer that was leading him to his private room. They were very friendly and reassured him that he was going to be well taken care of. The room was a smaller version of the mainstage with a runaway leading to a pole in front of a lone chair.

Jack sat on it and pulled out his phone to see if Renata texted him back. After he successfully slid in her dms, they agreed to meet up for coffee in a few days when she had a day off. They spent the entire evening texting each other until it was time for Renata to go to work. She let him know that she wouldn't be able to reply as quickly because she was running all over at work but she would try to answer him when she could.

The beginning of Dua Lipa’s ‘Love Again’ began to play and the dancer appeared. She had her back to him. She wore red leather fringed chaps with a matching fringed cropped vest. Under her chaps the dancer’s ass was exposed barely being covered by a pair of black high-rise Brazilian panties. On top of her head was a black leather cowgirl hat.

The dancer lifted her arms in the arm, slowly swaying her hips. Jack was instantly mesmerized. She moved so gracefully yet erotically. He couldn’t see her face since her hat was covering her face and because the room was very dim and most of the light was directly on the pole. The dancer dropped to her knees and rolled her hips as if she was riding a mechanical bull.

Jack sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. He was absolutely blown away by her. He watched her as she gave him her back once more and tossed her hat in the. She repeated the same hip rolls this time giving Jack a spectacular view of her ass. She crawled backwards until she reached the pole. She stood up, still with her back to him, and removed her vest, tossing it to the side. She held onto the pole and slowly spun until she was face to face with him.

Renata screamed and lost balance. She fell to her knees, scrambling to cover herself. Jack handed her her vest. She snatched it from him.

“Is this some fucked up joke?” she asked him. “Why are you here? At my fucking job.”

“Honest, I had no idea you worked here.” Jack said truthfully. Had he known he’d be there daily.

“Bullshit! That’s what they all say.” she yelled as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Hey, that’s the name of my album.” he said, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Oh fuck off.'' She got up and wiped her tears.

“Ren,” Jack reached for her arm.

“Hands off the dancer.” a security guard said. He was across the hallway when he heard her scream and ran to her.

Jack lifted his arms in surrender and took a step back.

Renata took one last glance at him before going backstage. She broke into sobs and slid down onto the ground. She hugged her knees crying even harder. She never felt so humiliated in her life. Of all the people to show up to Club Mystique, Jack had to show up.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Tania, one of the other dancers, asked her softly.

“He was here.” Renata cried.

“Who?”

“I thought he was different. I feel so stupid.” she sobbed into her hands.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Tania rubbed her back. She figured it was the guy Renata ran into earlier before she came to rehearsal.

Some of the dancers came over and comforted Renata. Even their boss took pity on her and told her to take the rest of the night off.

Renata quickly changed out of her costume into sweatpants and her giant hoodie. Reggie, one of the bouncers, escorted her to her car. When she first started working at Club Mystique, chaos ensued and all the workers were to be escorted to their cars porque nunca se sabe.

She arrived at her one bedroom apartment and hugged her giant pillow. She burst into tears once more. She looked over to her nightstand to the single picture she had of her family. It made her cry even harder.

The last time she felt humiliated was when her parents found out she shut down the restaurant and began working as a bottle girl at Club Mystique. They got deported a few weeks after she turned eighteen. She rescinded her full ride to Stanford and stayed in Louisville. She had four younger siblings to take care of and a restaurant to run. It was all too much for her. She was desperate to get her parents back.

She found some immigration lawyer in one of the ad magazines the restaurant would have for free. She called him and made an appointment to meet up with him. He gave her false hopes, tricking her into giving him all her family’s savings to do some paperwork to bring them back. It wasn’t until a month later that she realized she was scammed.

Expenses started piling up. She had take a semester off at the University of Louisville to figure out how she was going to pay rent, bills, buy groceries, pay rent for the restaurant, pay its bills, pay the few workers that were left, and on top of that she send her parents money because they had to start fresh in Mexico. When she started spring semester she found out her financial aid was being withheld with all the moving around. She had to come up with $13,000 to be able to enroll. Her barista job wasn’t enough for all of that. Her siblings were still too young to start working so it all fell on her.

She was walking to work when she saw the help wanted sign at Club Mystique. They initially turned her down since she was freshly eighteen and because workers at establishments that sold alcohol needed to be twenty-one. She begged them to hire her and explained what happened to her parents and how she needed to take care of her siblings. Her boss gave in and hired her.

Renata was efficient at her job and she made enough in tips to pay bills and send her parents money. What she needed money for was for tuition and extra things like buying things she and her siblings needed.

One night she covered for one the dancers in a group number. She knew the choreography from watching them all rehearse during the afternoons. From then on Renata would do group numbers and the occasional private dance. There were some patrons that tipped extra well for private dances.

A year had passed until her parents found out worked at the strip club through one of the church’s deacons, though they didn’t question why a man that was devoted to god and his family was at the club in the first place. They were embarrassed of her because she tainted the family’s reputation in the church. They disowned her and demanded she send her siblings to Mexico. The last time she was in contact with her family was in late 2017 when she dropped off her siblings in Matamoros after flying from Louisville to Brownsville, Texas.

Renata sighed and rolled on her back. She thought back to Jack. If she knew that afternoon that her night would end like this, she wouldn’t have gone to Costco to get gas.

Taglist: @cherryxcreme @heavyhitterheaux @carma-fanficaddict @youngharleezyxo @youngharleezy @babyharleezy @that-90s-girllll @alinaharlow @whywontyoulovemecami @meyocoko @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @webinurcloset @gassyandsassy1 @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento @a-moment-captured @livsters

#iwssa #jack harlow #jack harlow angst

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revletter · 5 months

Text

Two-fer

⭐ A comic script starring Boshi and Geno ⭐

————————————

(Yoshi's Island) (It's the 27th Annual Mushroom Derby. Yoshis and people are everywhere; it's a bit like a fair; clearly a beloved local longtime tourist attraction.) (There's a Yoshi canopy with another big banner that says "Partner Up Here!") (Most of the Yoshis on a big chart already have names written alongside them) (dialogue from off panel:) PERSON 1: I'd like to enter with this blue one, please. PERSON 2: Um - you don't want to do that. ———————————— (Under the sign-up canopy, a Yoshi attendant behind the desk is talking to someone who remains out of frame) ???: Is that so? YOSHI ATTENDANT: Yeah, no one rides Boshi! ———————————— YOSHI ATTENDANT (from out of panel): … like… EVER. (View of Boshi in the distance. He is stretching for the race, and growling at a couple of intimidated-looking folks that got too close) ———————————— ???: Fortunate for me. (A wooden hand begins to write on a sign-up sheet) ———————————— [More past the cut]

———————————— (Under the sign-up canopy again. The wooden hand places a small bag of Yoshi cookies on the counter) ATTENDANT: You know you don't get a refund if he says no, right? ???: Of course. ATTENDANT: Okay… they're your cookies… But if you don't mind me asking…

———————————— Yoshi attendant (from off panel): …Why him?

(View of Boshi again. He is looking cool, but his age is showing here; he might be rubbing a sore joint. Out of Boshi's view, a Yoshi parent is nervously shooing their fascinated kids away from him)

??? (from off panel): …I like his little shades.

———————————— (View of the mystery person’s back as he exits - it’s now clear that it’s Geno - and the attendant, holding the sign-up sheet with an expression best described by “old guy stares at paper meme”)

ATTENDANT: Good luck, mister… uh … mister …

(INSET: the signup form, on which "♡♪!?" is written)

———————————— (Geno has approached Boshi; the tone is adversarial. Maybe it's that JoJo walk)

BOSHI: Get outta town, punk. I don't DO riders.

———————————— (Geno, hand on hip. Boshi, looking annoyed)

GENO: It's been a long time since you won. I'm here to fix that.

BOSHI: And just who do you think you are?

———————————— (Geno leans casually against a tree, arms crossed; Boshi just looks more peeved)

GENO: Someone you'll go faster with.

BOSHI: I'm faster SOLO.

———————————— (Geno smiles; his eyes are a little shinier. Boshi looks suspicious)

GENO: Want to bet?

BOSHI: …

BOSHI: Bet what?

———————————— (big panel: The Mushroom Derby!) (Geno's riding Boshi. He's probably used his Boost on Boshi or something, idk. But yeah, they're zoom zoom zooomin')

———————————— (also big panel: Awards after the race!) (Boshi has the first place trophy. He looks blissfully happy, with a hint of tears starting in his eyes.) (He's not wearing his trademark sunglasses, but he is wearing a shirt that says "This is my I PROMISE TO CHILL OUT shirt". Make it somehow obvious that it was made by Geno.)

———————————— (Boshi is walking away from the crowd, now looking strangely downcast and sad. Behind him, a Yoshi parent runs after him, trailed by an enthusiastic small Yoshi.)

YOSHI PARENT: Boshi, wait!

———————————— (Boshi turns. Other Yoshi parents and kids have also followed.)

YOSHI PARENT: Could you… coach my kid?

OTHER YOSHI PARENTS: Mine too! Mine too! They love you! They know all about you!

———————————— (Close up on Boshi, emotional, wide-eyed and smiling, a tear starting down his cheek.)

BOSHI: I… Yeah. Yeah, I bet I could do that.

———————————— (View: Zoomed out behind Boshi surrounded by happy Yoshis. We see the back of his shirt for the first time. It says “COACH”.)

———————————— (It's just after sunset. Wide shot of the island, with one figure on the beach some distance away from the commotion)

———————————— (Geno is wearing Boshi's shades, and looking very satisfied with himself. The first stars to come out are reflecting off of the black lenses)

———————————— (Geno pulls a little Star Hill-style wishing star out of his hat…) (INSET: angle from his perspective - in his hands it says a wish:)

“Man, what I wouldn't do to win my last race! Maybe I could even retire with no regrets…”

———————————— (…And then another, much larger wishing star:)

“… oh, who am I kidding? My life is about to be so empty… will anyone even notice I've stopped? I wish I knew what I was going to do…”

(INSET: The words vanish into happy sparkles)

———————————— (View: from the front - Geno is looking down at the stars in his hands)

GENO: Ready to catch another?

(The wishing stars squeak "ye!")

———————————— (Wider angle - with a glow of magic charging up, Geno winds up a pitch like a baseball player)

———————————— (Wide zoomed-out shot of the entire island, the fading colors of sunset, and the brightening starscape above it. Across the sky fly two little shooting stars.)

#writing geno until he has an official voice actor #boshi #geno #geno smrpg #smrpg #super mario rpg #supermariorpg #fanfic #writing #smrpg fanfic #minific

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mrs-monaghan · 10 months

Note

https://youtu.be/IgAeCjSa0DU

Shaz, they went to home and fucked hard this day 🌚🌚🌚🌚

Look at my ever pretty Minie.. he was so beautiful that day 😍 and he's trying to take away his gaze from that man.

Look at JK, he looked damn hot and handsome that day. He looks like he'll lose that single ounce of control in his body any second. His sexual energy was so high that even Lizkookers used that clip of him with their girlie. (Funny thing is no one knows this Jkk clip but both Fandoms know that one cursed lizkook edit 😭)

And mimi casually landing on his lap 👍

Another analysis yeei!

Anon the way I ran when I saw the F word 😂😂

I hate my mind 🤦🏽‍♀️

Anyway, actually anon i don't think this was one of those steamy nights.. I think it was the complete opposite where they went to bed a bit sad actually 😔 and had one of those pillow talks about how sometimes they hate being in the closet and what not. About how they always have to tone down Jikookery when other members can do what they want.

Okay, okay, okay. What I'm I talking about? Let's rewind.

First we have Jimin staring at JK, right?

But what everyone misses is how Jimin rolls his eyes after. You can actually see it clearly on anon's zoomed in version here. Timestamp 0.21

youtube

So I don't think that stare was about Jimin admiring his extremely gorgeous man like many people think. Even though we can't forget how good JK looked damn 🔥

That is one gorgeous man right there. I bet Mimi didn't know what hit him. Oh! I interrupt this programme to bring up this edit of JK and how hard puberty hit him in 2014.

That's the same fucking year y'all. Jimin slept one night thinking JK was cute and adorable, seeing him as his baby brother. And then one day he woke up and was like 👁👃🏽👁 JK's glow up is no joke. I'm sure Jimin didn't know what to do when his platonic affection took a turn. Ha haa! Poor Mimi really didn't know what hit him 🤭🤭

Back to analysis.

Here we have Jimin scratching and that's when he notices how close JK's hand is.

Which is when he decides to nudge him. Hard to tell if JK feels that, because he doesn't react. But Jimin was real subtle and I'm impressed Jikookers caught this.

So what do we have here?

Okay so word on the street is that Jimin and JK had been talked to before these interviews and told to watch themselves. Tbf its not just Jikook who are supposed to calm down when members are in the US. They're all supposed to 'behave'. They know in the West people will interprete their skinship for gayness so they're usually pretty tame especially during interviews. On stage though it's a whole different story 😂😂

Anyway, JK wasn't happy about this. Which is a bit confusing since this clearly isn't new. So idk why he felt some type of way about this particular time. U can tell by how he was during this interview. If we are being honest JK is usually much more chipper and loud and happier than this during English interviews. There were many moments where RM, V and Jimin were yelling randomly and we all know usually JK is part of the random shouting. But this time he wasn't feeling it. He didn't even talk that much.

If this rumor/theory is to be believed, then it would explain why JK was down and also why Jimin rolled his eyes at him, no? Like "this brat" Or maybe he was rolling his eyes at the situation?

Idk but I do think this was to make JK feel better.

RM and V were not impressed by that at all. Which again, I believe is because they had been told not to Jikook at all and here goes Jimin doing that 👆🏽 Also it totally wasn't necessary 😂🤭

But can we really blame him? Jimin saw his man was upset and didn't give a shit so he took his shot.

We already know Jimin placates JK alot. Or gives into his wishes to make him happy. If Jimin is doing something JK doesn't like, we have seen JK nudge Jimin or look at him some type of way or stared at him until Jimin stopped what he was doing. Jimin is a great boyfriend y'all. 🤗🤗

So Jimin randomly lying on JK's lap, couple that with that one subtle nudge where he tried to touch JK... I think this theory makes sense. I know some Jikookers think they were fighting, and JK was trying to reach out, but I think JK just really wanted to touch Jimin. I don't think they were fighting at all. Jikook as a couple were fine. It's just that the closet can be a bit suffocating sometimes.

Anyway, to summarize: Jikook were told not to well...Jikook. JK was not happy. (He never is) Jimin dropped on his lap to make him feel better. The end.

As usual, draw your own conclusions 😘

#jikook analysis #ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #jimin and jungkook #bts #jimin #park jimin #kookmin #minkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jikook theory #jikook theories

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ellsieee · 1 year

Text

This is my last rambling Unintentional Love Story post and I feel a bit sad that I have to say goodbye until season 2. I think it's going to be a while before another series captures my heart like this one. The last series before ULS that caused this level of brainrot was Word of Honor and that was two years ago. 😅

Taejoon and Wonyoung's story wrapped up beautifully. It brought all the warm fuzzies and I couldn't have asked for a more satisfying ending.

I like the contrast here, with Wonyoung feeling helpless, thinking they're really over, and Taejoon smiling because he realizes that Wonyoung is jealous and that they're definitely getting back together.

Istg Taejoon is being a little gremlin here. That smile on his face makes me think he knows that the way he responded makes it seem like he wants Wonyoung to disappear.

The way pulls Wonyoung into the hug with strength, but then gently cradles his neck during the hug made me sigh with happiness.

I've seen a lot of discussion about the dead fish kissing in ULS and I wanted to address it. I'm not going to pretend they didn't serve us multiple servings of dead fish. I get the criticism, we shouldn't be getting dead fish anymore in 2023 and I too, could have done without the dead fish close ups. However, I stand by my earlier statements that the dead fishes do not detract from the series. Despite the poor kissing skills, all the emotions are there, and isn't that what makes a series great?

The zoomed out shot of them kissing made my toes curl. I love the way that Taejoon is gripping Wonyoung's hands, not letting him go. It's these moments and feelings that resonate with me rather than the actual kissing. Would better kissing or getting rid of the dead fish close ups have improved the series? Probably yes, but only a little. Does it ruin the series as some claim? Absolutely not. I will defend this series till I die.

I loved Wonyoung's tear here. He's just so overcome with emotion and I was too while watching. His love is finally reciprocated again. I'm so happy for them.

YASSSS. Finally. I squealed with joy. Wonyoung's smile is everything. 🥰❤️

Melted into a big puddle of goo again. This is one of my favorite scenes. The way Wonyoung and Taejoon move their arms to hold each other closer, along with Taejoon's patented neck hold had me screaming into my pillow again. 😅

Love Donghee Taejoon bestie energy. Love that grabbing each other by the scruff is their way of communicating. No way is Taejoon going to let Donghee kiss Wonyoung! 🤭

I loved Wonyoung's piss off, I'm not scared of you look to Inho and daddy Taejoon's charging in to protect his boy.

THAT FLEX!! Wonyoung holding hands with Taejoon and then giving Inho that hmpf, loser glance as he is led away shows how confident he is now. Love it.

SO CUTE. I love the handhold with interlocking fingers. 🫠 I have not read the manhwa, but apparently Wonyoung is the one who buys the rings, so he could be checking Taejoon's ring size here. 🥰

Has any other kbl had this much handholding? I really like this shot because for whatever reason I see a heart in the empty space between them.

They are the cutest couple. Love how Wonyoung snuggles Taejoon. Taejoon loves Wonyoung's cutesy side just like me. Matching pjs should be cringe but it's freakin cute when they do it.

Oooo Wonyoung's got lines! 😊 I'm so glad that Taejoon was able to leave his baggage behind enough to be able to say that without feeling like Wonyoung is only trying to take advantage of him.

I'm so happy they released the behind the scenes so we can have both POVs of this hug. Wonyoung looks so happy. I'm smiling like an idiot again.

I love that we got to see Wonyoung standing up to vice manager Jung. Demanding an apology! You get him Wonyoung! But also, when did Jung find out that Taejoon and Wonyoung were dating? When did he find out they broke up? Did Taejoon tell him? 🤔

A picturesque ending. 🥰❤️🫠 I do wish we got a bit of back story on the rings, but it doesn't matter. They're going to live happily ever after, I know it.

It's really over. 😭 I will miss this series so much. It's my favorite kbl ever for now.

In case anyone is interested and missed the other spazz posts: [Ep 1-4] [Ep 5-6] [Ep 7] [Ep 8] [Ep 9]

#my weekly spazzy love letter to unintentional love story #this series is just so good #i can't stop talking about it yet #but at least i can start bringing myself to properly watch some other series now #unintentional love story

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captain039 · 11 months

Text

Intimacy

Misha Collins x reader

Warnings: none fluffy one shot.

Misha had always been a source of comfort for you and he gladly gave it. No matter where you were your body would automatically gravitate towards him and he’d happily put an arm around you or let you snuggle into his side. When it was a rough day you’d want nothing more than to just cuddle with him in bed or on the couch while watching some Netflix. Though you guess you couldn’t just ask the man to cuddle on the couch seeing as you weren’t in that kind of relationship and you think he saw you more as a daughter or sister, someone too look after. You love him, you loved most of your co-workers well besides a few but Jared, Jensen and Misha were always on the top of that list like a happy family. Then Supernatural ended, the four of you went seperate ways, Jensen got into The boys, Jared got into Walker and Misha freshly started Gotham knights. You however weren’t having any luck finding a part and you felt like you were getting kicked to the curb each time you auditioned. You missed the boys, missed Misha’s warmth and care. You texted with them when they weren’t busy, sometimes even got a call from them or zoom call. You awoke to your phone ringing and didn’t bother looking as you answered.

“Hello?” You said trying not to sound like you just woke up.

“Hey, good morning” you heard Misha’s voice and perked up. You sat up and wiped your eyes, checking your clock.

“Hey, what’s up?” You said stretching and yawning.

“I’ve got some good news” he said and you frowned.

“I’m finally dying?” You joked.

“No, I’ve got an audition for you and a good chance you’ll get it” he said.

“My good chances have all been bad chances in disguise” you grumbled getting up and opening your curtain.

“I’m serious, I’ve spoken with the director and he wants you to come” he spoke and you frowned.

“Seriously?” You asked.

“Seriously” he replied.

“I’ve already emailed you the details” he said as you went over to your computer and turned it on.

“Got it” you said clicking on and skimming through.

“Need breakfast and coffee” you mumbled heading to the kitchen as Misha chuckled.

“How’ve you been?” He asked and you shrugged.

“Alive” you sighed grabbing a bowl and your cereal.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“I just woke up, I hate everything” you stated.

“Even me?” He chuckled and you froze.

“No” you grumbled making your breakfast and sitting in the couch.

“Read through the email I can book your flight tomorrow if you want, just text me an answer” he said and you nodded taking a bite.

“Uh huh” you said mouth full.

“Alright enjoy your breakfast I’ll talk to you soon” he chuckled again.

“M’kay, bye” you said and he said bye before hanging up. You sagged tossing your phone on the couch and eating your breakfast. You felt more awake though, you’d finally get to see him again.

You agreed to the audition and Misha booked your flight that night for tomorrow. You packed and got everything ready before trying to sleep. The flight there was as normal, you were met with one of Misha’s drivers, no Misha though.

“Have a good flight?” The driver said.

“Yeah” you nodded texting Misha that you were in your way to the hotel.

“Did Misha tell you which hotel?” You asked and he nodded.

“Awesome, just there please” you said as he drove off.

At the hotel you settled in the room was nicer than you apartment which you left in a mess. You heard a knock and frowned going to the door.

“Hey” you saw Misha and perked up smiling. He opened his arms and you practically crashed into him. You sighed contently closing your eyes and holding him tightly.

“Missed you too” he chuckled resting his chin your head. You didn’t let go for a while, you listened to him exhale softly before you stepped back.

“Sorry” you said embarrassed before letting him in.

“How was the trip?” He asked.

“It was good” you said going back to your suit cases. You began to unpack, wishing you could hug him again and just stay like that. You sagged at the thought, being away was easier, you could sink and loneliness and curl up in your bed with your millions of pillows and cry before getting over it and repeating. You felt a drop hit your hand and quickly wiped your eyes ignoring the worry in Misha’s call.

“Sorry I’m tired” you made up an excuse, it was false, just not the whole truth. Your hands shook as you fiddled with shoes and clothes before a hand grabbed your wrist gently. You looked to Misha and gulped softly, gosh you couldn’t keep your emotions in check. You said a silent curse and wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your head in your arms. His arms went around your waist holding you tightly. You tried not to cry, tried not to relish so much in the touch. Misha began to move and you went to pull back, he didn’t let go though as he sat down and tugged you with him. You stumbled a bit, but sat in his lap, knees either side of his hips as you sighed softly. His hand gently ran up and down your back as you rested your head in your arm. You held him loosely before lifting your head up hesitantly as he his hands went to your hips. He held your gaze and you felt warmth fill your cheeks, you grew nervous thinking you’d pushed it too far. He shocked you though, pressing his lips to yours. You melted afterwards and sighed kissing him back. He pulled back you felt your cheeks go hotter.

“I missed you” he muttered voice lower than usual. You nodded trying to find your voice.

“Me too” you mumbled feeling embarrassed as he smiled. You tucked yourself back in his neck and he chuckled arms going around you again.

#Misha Collins #Misha x reader #x reader #fluff #supernatural

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palestinalibre · 2 years

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tbh, i think most of these people are under the impression that the year is 2018. on harry's first tour, fans clocked their patterns so quickly, they never had a chance to replicate these things on a joint tour schedule. fans knew where to look during shows (vip boxes,), they knew which cities had a high chance for 'meetings' to occur (home cities, certain latam cities, a couple in europe), they knew who to ask for info (security and venue staff). and that was back when harry was not the biggest male celeb on the planet and louis was not as well known + didn't have a tour or even an album out yet. still, compelling video evidence was shot that showed louis possibly at harry's chile show (outside hotel + in show). people are applying those same rules to a different time and a different, more perceptive fandom and are then getting confused. everybody is looking at them now really, really closely. you should see what twitter is like before either of their shows when one is MIA. i mean they're bringing higher quality cameras with a better zoom in for the sole purpose of filming vip areas. i cannot imagine how hard it is to work around a fandom who takes it upon themselves to treat your delicate situation as a game they want to win.

Hi love, nothing to add. Just

i cannot imagine how hard it is to work around a fandom who takes it upon themselves to treat your delicate situation as a game they want to win.

Yes. It breaks my heart a little. I wish this fandom was a bit more mature sometimes. It is what it is

about this

#take the german boy situation #same shit #there's a difference between being here supporting them and pushing for an outing or as you said wanting to win/prove yourself right #the reason i support them is because i have an opinion about their situation #i dont need to convince myself. convince others or proof anyone anything #people should stop expecting them to come out and start supporting them on how they've chosen to navigate this journey #anon #ask

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dearabby1990 · 8 days

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Chapter 3: I can explain

You have a few prerolled blunts and joints on the bed sometimes you like you roll your whole stash at once to make it easier for you when you’re in a pinch for time or just wanting to rip the hair out of your head. Deciding on the joint rolled in a strawberry flavored rolling paper you pull out your zippo and spark up your joint & take a big hit letting the smoke sting the back of your throat know before blowing out a mushroom cloud of smoke you decide your thoughts are way too loud at the moment getting up to walk & go pop my Stevie Nicks cassette into the stereo & flick up the volume as I plop onto the beanbag chair in my room taking another long hit out of your joint as Silver Springs starts to play & you get into your feelings listening singing along and smoking waiting for the inevitable. 🎶”Don’t say that she’s pretty did you say that she loved you baby I don’t wanna know…”🎶 you huff in annoyance then jolt at the sound of the doorbell. Stubbing out what’s left you lead to the living room to open the door to none other then the gorgeous man you’ve been so worked up over. He gives you a small smile as you gesture letting him inside & closing the door. “Do you want something to drink or something??..” you look at anything but him while speaking. “Yeah that’s be great what do ya have?” You walk you way to the fridge “um.. we have pop,milk,homemade white peach tea & some whisky…” he giggles “wow makers mark the good shit uh.. it’s a little too early for that right now.. homemade tea huh I’ll take some of that” he says grinning at you. Taking two glasses from the cabinet & loaded them up with some ice you pour the both of you a glass. Eddie starts to check out the living room as he sips from his glass his eyes pop out of his head “holy shit this is some good tea you made this all by yourself?!” You fully belly laugh “yeah why do you sound so surprised?” He walks towards you “well sweetheart where I come from everything is out of a jug carton or you can microwave it not too many homemade things in my neck of the woods” he tilts his head towards your bedroom and gives you a devilish grin “ohhh I smell that you sneaky little thing you holding out on me princess?” You blush “uh I didn’t know you.. smoked..” he takes your hand back to the main source of the scent. He starts checking out the photos on your walls “you know you have a real beautiful voice not just a beautiful face and personality” you feel like you’re gonna combust. “Well I’m not too sure about that the girl I saw you with definitely has me beat by a long shot” Eddie looks at you with a look you can’t quite read “Look it’s not what you think & that’s not true I wish you’d stop that shit seriously it’s just a customer i sell to help my uncle with the bills okay she met up with me to ask if I could sell at a party she knew if Jason asked me it would’ve been bad dudes had it out for me since the 5th grade he’s a grade A dickwad a real neodorky zoom dweebie & she’s so not my type I could sneeze and she’d blow away she’s not funny like you & she surely doesn’t make me feel like my hearts gonna explode the way it does when I’m around you!!!” You stare at him wide eyed in bewilderment “Eddie.. I don’t.. I’m..” you start to cry again but this time of embarrassment before the first tear even reaches your cheek Eddie steps forward wiping it from below your lower lash & cups your face with both his hands and looks into your eyes. It feels like he’s looking right into your soul brown eyes like hot chocolate keeping you warm like a hug you’d never want to part from. “Jamie… you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my entire life you make me feel things I thought this metal heart of mine would never feel I thought at one point that maybe I was hollow inside that nobody would make me feel things like this & then I walked into that store and I saw the most gorgeous person I’ve ever laid eyes on & I wanted nothing more then to make her mine” he caresses your bottom lip before coming in for the most intimate kiss you’ve ever experienced. To be continued….

#eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you

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bengiyo · 9 months

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I Told Sunset About You Rewatch Ep 1 Stray Thoughts

We're doing a retrospective for @the-conversation-pod soon, so I want to get a rewatch in (I think this is my sixth) before we record. Figured it might be fun to jot ideas down.

Let me just say that the quality of the opening song still hits like a ton of bricks right as this starts. I had not experienced something like that before.

Telling us from the first scene that it's always been about Oh-aew.

RIP LINE TV. Pour one out.

Thinking about Teh's relationship with his mom this time, she was praising Teh for making it into this school with high marks.

Oh we finally know what MoRaoYuLok means! (We look so funny)

Skyline is just such an affecting song.

I often forget that the first float we saw was with the young actors.

Really like the camera zooming in on Teh after Oh agrees to play Yongjian. We've seen them in frame together for about four minutes of the friendship montage, and now Teh suddenly feels alone.

The tragedy of their breakup hits every time. You can see it coming immediately as soon as Oh is selected and Teh tries his best to support him through the play.

I often think about how Teh wasn't even selected to play a tree in the play.

Oh, Teh, he was always in the wrong when it came to Oh. Oh hoped they could share a passion together and Teh only saw someone stepping on his dream.

Hello again, Tuty the Homophobic Dog.

Oh, Teh, why do you have to get salty about your mom praising your brother for being able to help you afford school?

Tarn, you will regret telling Teh to go after someone else because you don't want him to waste his time waiting for you.

I love the bass beats at the mention of Oh-aew.

Sometimes you briefly forget how beautiful PP Krit is, and then you see him again and you're like, "Right, I didn't imagine that."

Gosh, Teh was always petty.

Very sad foreshadowing about Teh later waking up early to study with Oh.

This whole scene of The deciding to mess with his hair is almost Japanese in styling. It's rare in Thai shows where they hold a shot and let the actors enter and exit the frame, trusting the audience to remember where things are.

Lol, Teh is so embarrassing sometimes. Even the teacher had to call him out about the hair.

I'm still fond of Khunpol's acting as Bas after all this time. He was new to Nadao at the time and was very nervous to work so closely with PP.

He's always good at saying things to hurt Oh, but then instantly regrets it.

Oh, Bas. If it could have been you it would have been you so easily.

I sometimes wish we'd dug more into Oh's family relationship, because it feels like Teh often said things that reminded Oh of his dad.

Truly this is a beautiful shot of all of MoRaoYuLok together. Teh positioned between Bas and Oh is exquisite.

The score for this show really is just so fantastic. Underlines every moment beautifully.

Billkin is really beautiful when he has to show sympathy for PP's character crying.

PP's legs? Undefeated. Closest challenger was Todd Techit.

Goddamn these two make each other ugly cry so easily. Even on this gorgeous beach!

Poor Bas. He noticed so early.

Oh always cuts to the emotional core of their problems.

Billkin's eyebrows are doing so much work.

Ending on what Teh might say to Oh from the interview and having him not exactly say those things to Oh? Crushing.

Ke Yi Ma? Ke Yi.

Billkin singing Skyline just blasts you at the end. My goodness.

Something that still surprises me each time I come back to this is how much these boys cry at each other about each other. Normally you'd expect some kind of machismo or gender dynamic where one of them is maybe stoic, but no, these two know each other too well for that. Their relationship just feels so huge. Really the only other two characters that have close to this feeling are Pat and Pran, and Our Song explicitly asks if it's okay if they're not as huge as something like this.

#i told sunset about you #itsay meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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reserved-system · 3 months

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February Stars [HSBB]

Picture this, you're on a losing streak in life. Maybe you're having car troubles, just got dumped, or you bombed that test you thought you studied well enough for. Some time passes someone new is introduced into your friend group and at first you don't click, maybe you have a few interests in common, sure but it's like you only manage to see them at parties. You stop partying for a bit to get yourself back together and a close friend reaches out and invites you to their party, and you decide fuck it and go. During the party, you notice that friend from the group you don't know very well and decide to take a chance.

Now you may be left asking, what happens next? I guess you'll just have to read the wonderful fic this piece is based on!

[Link here!]

Hope did a wonderful job and tugged at my heart strings a little bit (/pos) and above all else had us cracking up the entire time we worked with them and the rest of our team! Let's go show them some love, shall we? Yet another massive shout out to the mods and admins for putting this event together! Check out the #hsbb 2023 tag for more works and fics like this!

Extras under cut - Wips, rambles, the whole nine yards, you know the drill!

GOSH. I don't know where to begin! How about with some stats?

This piece seems like it didn't take us as long as the first piece did because we actually scrapped our original piece and opened a new canvas. So over the roughly 2 month span, this is how we're looking!

Then we get to move on the the original sketch <3 So what I was going for was the ending scene when they're laying in the grass holding hands and Jimmy is talking to Tango. So this piece is a top down view which I've never attempted before so it was interesting trying to figure that out!!

ALSO. You can see us here playing around with our new art style ;^]

My one regret with the piece is I wish we kept the canvas zoomed in to the point all throughout the piece. You can tell where we zoomed in a lil too close by the thinner line weight in some areas but other than that I still like it. I loved working with the thicker lines.

So we once again failed to get any in progress shots of the background, just some shots in between the shading and the back lighting.

Colors colors colors! You can actually see Tango has a different facial expression in these. We played around with in for a few days until we found something we liked. You can also see us play around with other colors too.

And one last shot to appreciate the shading. <3

And now, bloopers!

Just a small collection of concept sketches from our first, scraped piece! It would've shown the rest of the backyard, porch, and Ren partying in the background.

Anyways, thank you for reading our rambles! Whether you're here from a reblog, from the fic itself, or were already following us. I hope you enjoyed! Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for the rest of our pieces for the event.

From the Reserved System, Happy HSBB everyone!! <3 <3 <3

#reserved system #hermitshipping big bang #hsbb 2023 #hermitshipping #team ranchers #tangotek fanart #tangotek #jimmy solidarity #jimmy solidarity fanart #solidarity gaming #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanart

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ninjathrowingstork · 5 months

Text

Blade Runner: Bitter Water

Hello I am back again with more heartbreak.

I'll probably update with my actual notes once I remember what I wanted to add for this.

______________________________________________________________

Chapter 3

A blood black nothingness.

A system of cells.

Within cells interlinked.

Within one stem.

And dreadfully distinct.

Against the dark.

A tall white fountain played."

He’d passed. He always passed.

Leaving the dingy white room, the rapid-fire questioning had left his mind feeling scraped raw, but he was still on his baseline and he had a job to do. It had been nearly a week, and he was running out of time. This hadn’t been the fight he was looking for, but hunting down where a fugitive replicant would go to ground meant finding other fugitives sometimes. Fugitives who fought back.

But they weren't designed to fight, to hunt, to kill, the way he had been designed.

The investigation was getting nowhere.

kD6-3.7 scanned through another day’s worth of surveillance recordings, fruitlessly looking for one, specific spinner.

While pursuing his other lead had resulted in the crash landing in a pile of slush, he’d eventually tracked down first a shop owner who’d recognized the lost heiress’s replicant companion and that had led to someone else who’d confirmed the woman’s daily route, and finally to the series of cameras along the streets.

Just for once, he wished something could have been easy. It took days to get some of the recordings back, from stores and private security cameras. Sure the Police Department could request the files be turned over, but tracking down the paperwork and waiting for permits to go through had already set him back, even before sitting and watching through the days and days of recordings. He’d eventually had to put each camera’s recording of the last day the replicant woman had been seen together in sequence, tracking her path along the usual route, and-

There.

One moment she was walking, head down under an umbrella, and the next she’d turned a corner and by the camera next in the sequence, she was gone. There was still one more recording, partially blocked by an awning, that had a viewpoint of the alley in between the two streets. It was slim chance, but-

He had it. The woman turned the corner onto the street, lined with parked spinners, speeding up slightly on the empty sidewalk. He watched as the door of one swung open as she approached, and with one last look over her shoulder, she’d slid into the dark, unmarked vehicle and it had pulled away and vanished into the flow of traffic around the next corner. But-

Zooming in. Another flick of the controls and the image of the spinner’s open door was magnified to take up the whole screen. He brightened it, and there. It was her mistress. The missing heiress was already in the vehicle, holding the door open for the replicant woman to join her.

He’d been told not to look into the human woman’s vanishing as well, and he’d surmised the two were connected, but their timing and circumstances for disappearing had stayed a mystery, until now. While finding the method of their disappearance solved several questions, it only raised more. If the two hadn’t been abducted, hadn’t been taken by force, that left the questions of who helped the pair, and why did they leave ? Answering those would be a start in finding where they went.

Wearily, he ran his hands down his face, it had been long hours sifting through the recordings, and it was getting close to dinnertime. That didn’t mean he was done for the night, though. With a few keystrokes, he sent the shots of the replicant Alice entering the car and a report of his progress to the Lieutenant, and put in a request for any ID on the spinner the system could find.. She’d given him a week, and he had one more day to work the case before she’d said it would be passed along, solved or not. He hoped he’d made enough progress to buy more time. Whether that was to work the case or to live, he wasn’t sure. It was the highest profile assignment he’d been given, and the family of the missing girl could easily ask for his retirement for not finding the pair. Still. Joshi had phrased it to sound like this was just a courtesy and a preliminary investigation before more important resources were invested in the case. He could still be retired and replaced over a courtesy, when dealing with a family with the money of the missing girl.

The only thing left was to go take a look at the street where the replicant woman had been picked up, if he could still find any evidence. If he could get any lead in the case from there.

Trudging through the station, he kept his head down as always. The past week had been. . . different. The other officers still either ignored him entirely, or else he had to endure the gauntlet of glares and the occasional curse flung as he passed, sometimes a shoulder slamming against him as he passed, but. But. No one had grabbed him, no one had touched him more than in passing. He wondered how long the sergeant’s influence would keep them off of him, but he would take whatever reprieve she’d bought him.

Sergeant Flint. He hadn’t spoken to her since that night, but he’d seen her at the desk in passing a few times. She’d looked up, nodding in recognition each time, but he’d been focused on the case, and it seemed wrong to approach her uninvited, with others around. There had been that one time he’d passed a hallway to see her red hair shining in it’s tight knot as the tall woman was speaking with the Madam. The conversation had seemed friendly, but there was the now-recognizable angry set to her jaw, and Joshi had been standing even more stick-straight than usual. Whatever the two women had been discussing seemed personal, and he’d turned and left them alone.

“Officer K?” As though summoned by the memory, there she was striding down the hallway as he passed. With barely a pause, she fell into step beside him as they entered the entryway together. “On a case tonight?” It was less formal, less restrained than she’d been at first but there was a new tautness to her words, and that set to her jaw that said anger had returned.

Best be wary then. “I am, ma’am.” Then, “the report is due tomorrow.”

She paused as they neared the desk, and he stopped a step later, looking back at the tall sergeant. “Think you’ll have time for dinner again?”

Dinner? Was this a regular thing for them now? There was a small flutter of - of something in his chest, a strange lightness, but still. . . “If this lead doesn’t turn up anything, I - I could meet you somewhere.” It was one of the longest sentences he’d said to her so far. He told her the neighborhood, and after a moment, she nodded.

“There’s a rail station there. Meet you there at seven?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“If you’re not working, officer, it’s not an order.”

The pitch of her voice shifted minutely, the tone softer as it had been when she’d reassured him before. Oh. Not an order. He could. . . he could say no, could say another time, if he wanted. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll meet you there at seven.” This was already too close. Too familiar. Before she could say anything else, he’d turned on his heel and headed out into the evening.

Within cells interlinked.

The streets on the way were as busy as they’d been on the day of the disappearance, but turning down the side street, it was quiet. The backs of a few stores, and crumbling brick walls. It was. . . nice, not a neighborhood a wealthy heiress would be walking through, but someplace her tutor and assistant replicant would be left alone. Stopping at the point across from the camera, still with an awning stretched over a door blocking a corner of the view, he looked along the empty stretch of street. A single spinner hummed by in the evening chill. Not for the first time, he recalled his instructions not to look into the missing girl, the missing human. Investigating her would possibly give more information about the spinner’s route, where she had boarded it, who was driving it behind the dark privacy-tinted windows. If anyone had been watching the street here that day, they wouldn’t have any more insight than the camera had given about the spinner or the two passengers. Between the tinting and the positioning of that awning, any identification of the vehicle or driver had been carefully hidden.

They knew someone would come looking.

They knew, and he’d get nothing else from here.

Once more, Officer KD6-3.7 turned, trudging into the evening. He might still make the station for seven.

By the time he reached the monorail station, he half expected she’d have gone. It wasn’t long after the hour, but she had no reason to wait for him.

But.

There she was, lights glinting off the damp on the shoulders of her coat. She peeled herself away from the wall when she spotted him, lowering the boot she’d propped up behind her. “Didn’t know if you’d make it.”

Didn't know if he’d make it alive, he realized. There never was a guarantee he’d come back. “I don’t have that much of a social life,” he shrugged. “Didn’t know if you’d still be here.”

That got an almost-grin from her. “Not much of a social life either, I had time to wait.”

The thought that a human would willingly spend her time just waiting for him, not knowing if he’d make it back, was. . . strange.

“And anyway, I was the one who asked to meet,” turning on her heel, she led him into the station and towards the monorail car. “Wasn’t about to leave you here, if you got held up on the way and happened to be late.”

As little as he could trust most humans, and even less those who held rank over him, whose orders he was bound to obey, he could feel himself actually trusting the sergeant. This was well beyond caring for his well being as department property, coming to this corner of the city just to meet him. The first night she’d led him from the station, had given him food and kindness, she’d said she didn’t want to use him, and his instincts were telling him this woman didn’t change her mind easily so he doubted that was her plan for the evening.

Ahead, his companion quietly slid by the kiosk where evening passengers stopped scanning passes with a soft chime before crossing the platform to board. “We’re not paying, ma’am?” He’d been on the monorail that wound through the black buildings and neon lights once before, in his first, disorienting days alive as he was learning his new life on the force. He’d been with another officer then, taking him through the city on foot instead of spinner for once, leading him along with a hand clamped painfully around his arm, and it had all been too overwhelmingly new for him to process if there had been any fare paid then. He hadn’t tried the rail system since, preferring either the privacy of a department spinner or the economy of traveling by foot.

Without stopping, Flint glanced back at him, reaching to tap at the insignia pinned to her coat shoulder. “Not in uniform, officer, we ride free, department wants us to have a presence out here and the transit folks say it keeps the rides safer.” He caught the corner of her half-smile before she turned back.

As the lights of the city slipped by in the night, he glanced sideways at the woman standing still as a statue, gazing calmly out the window as she held onto the overhead strap for balance. Maybe her presence in her uniform-blue coat did make the other passengers in their car feel safer, maybe not, but if all he’d gotten from them was the occasional side-eye, he knew the weight of presence she carried around her was keeping him a little safer. They didn’t talk during the ride, despite the ease between them earlier Flint had slipped back into being the stone-faced sergeant beside him with the closeness of the other riders around them, and.

And.

And there was still that flicker of the suppressed anger in the set of her mouth and line of her jaw. Had something happened in the past week? Was this night with him for her to unwind for once instead of him? But there had been that something in how she’d asked to meet him, something masked behind the rare lightness in her tone. Either way, whatever her intentions, he reminded himself, it wasn’t his place to question her. Even if she had said it wasn’t an order.

Still in silence, they left the rail car, a jerk of her head the only signal it was time to exit before she led him out and back into the city streets. There were more holo-signs here, the city more dense than the area they’d just come from. High above them, a glowing pink woman was dancing on the side of one building, and he stopped, for once watching one of the myriad of advertisements he walked through daily. “Those digis really are something.” The sergeant had stopped, joining him again to stare up at the display. “Wonder if they really can be whoever you want, like she says.”

“Wouldn’t know.” The idea of just having someone around to talk to had been utterly alien to him until little more than a week before, but having someone, even a fake, digital companion had been so far above any wildest dreams, if he’d had any. “Probably costs a lot, though, so they must be worth it.”

“Probably right.” The rosy light slid over the orange of her hair, turning it a strange, murky shade, “ but I guess if folks really need someone to talk to. . .” she shrugged, before turning and leading him further through the streets.

Dinner that night was some kind of meat, likely vat grown also, but with a slight char to the corners and served on long skewers, and tonight, he didn’t protest her buying him food. Tonight, they ate quietly again, only commenting on the sauce on the meat, on the crowds. Tonight she wasn’t trying to distract him from anything, to save him from anything. There was no sharing of memories or stories of life- on the force and just of living . Just the company of sharing a meal with someone else as they watched the crowds pass by.

She was subtle. So subtle it took until they were both nearly finished eating for him to realize she was watching for someone , and as she quickly finished her food, he wolfed down the last bites of his, savoring the memory of the sauce and crunch of seared vegetables, trailing a step behind her as they crossed through the evening foot traffic to another table across the market from theirs.

The pair, a man and a woman, stood, talking over plates of food and something- something in the way they stood, the fit of their clothes, despite being nondescript civilian garments, said this pair were also police. Plainclothes, likely detectives-

Like the sergeant had been, he remembered.

“Roark and Nguyen,” Flint had stopped, just far enough the pair wouldn’t notice them, her voice just loud enough to be heard above the noise of the street. “I’ve known ‘em for a while. They ever give you any trouble?”

The question caught him off guard. Had they ever been among the ones he’d learned to avoid? Their faces were familiar, but just as another pair he’d seen around the precinct, never when his tormentors were around, never among the hands reaching to drag him into corners or rooms. “No, no, they’ve never bothered me.”

“Good.” She nodded curtly. “Knew I could trust ‘em, just had to be sure, you know?”

He didn’t know, but the realization she’d asked if her friends had ever. . . the thought she’d checked her knowledge of them was real against his experience was something he’d lie awake in his thin, fold-out bed thinking about in the night. But for now, he was following her again, straight for the pair.

“Evening, detectives.” There was a new wryness in her voice as she greeted them. It was almost. . . playful?

“Sarge, it’s been a while.”

“Hey, you.” The other woman, shorter, dark hair brushing damply against her shoulders, grinned up at the sergeant.

He was seeing their friendship, seeing the serious, hardened senior officers he passed every day as people, as friends. There was that pull, that twisting in his chest again for something he’d never truly be a part of.

“Hey back at you both. Been keeping out of trouble?”

“Nothing we can’t get ourselves out of, you know.” The man, average height with a fighter’s build, his instincts filled in, as the detective leaned his elbows on the table, a smile in his eyes despite an otherwise serious expression. “Who’s your friend?”

“Matt, Alicia, Officer K’s new around here.” A tilt of her head invited him to step into their circle, joining Flint and her friends at the table. “K, these two and I go way back. Went out drinking with them when I first made detective.”

And she still stopped to ask him if they’d ever hurt him.

“And the Sarge here has been kicking our asses in the shooting range since the academy days,” The man - Matt’s face finally cracked into a grin as he ran a hand through short, sandy hair, brushing out a scattering of snowflakes.

“He’s the new ‘runner, right?” Detective Nguyen - Alicia - eyed him curiously.

“Yeah, since they stopped partnering with human detectives, don’t think I’ve seen much of the last few. Well, uh, it’s good to finally meet ya,” finally looking past the sergeant to greet K.

Beside him, Flint’s jaw twitched with- with annoyance?

“That’s part of why I need to ask you two a favor.”

“Oh?” The shorter detective leaned forward to mirror her partner, curiously. “What kind of favor?”

“Have you two seen Walters and his pals much this week?”

She shook her head, as her partner drawled a slow “can’t say that I have.”

“Well, that pack’s been givin’ K here trouble lately, and L-T can’t do much through official channels to stop it.” Her voice had slipped into the nomad drawl as she spoke to her friends. “Try as I might, I can't watch everything at once-” that got another grin from the detectives, “so I’m askin’ if you two could help keep an eye out, run interference for him. Keep that pack of degenerates off his back. Leastways until they get bored and back off. It’ll save me the worry and keeps the L-T from coming down on me if he takes any damage in the station that’ll put him out of commission.”

This was. . . different, from how she’d been- been concerned for him, framing the request as a favor for her, for the department instead. Using her own friendship with them to shield him again.

Both detectives stared at him, she with a cool appraisal and he with a sharp curiosity, and he found himself wanting to shift uncomfortably under the new scrutiny. He’d learned this much attention from anyone not connected to a case was rarely ever good.

Roark straightened up, the sharp grin he’d greeted the Sergeant with almost returning. “Well. Never thought about the runners having trouble like that, but Walters and his guys are jackasses, so- K, was it?”

“Yes, sir.” His reply was too quiet, again, as he stared at the flickering light of a holo ad on a wall past the man's shoulder.

“K, you find me or Alicia here if there’s any trouble, those degenerates know not to mess with us.”

It wouldn’t help if he was ambushed in the hallways again, but it was a start.

“And I know this is already a big favor,” Flint jumped in, “but anyone else you can trust, who’s not been taking advantage of K here,” the muscle of his shoulder twitched as she dropped one hand onto the fabric of his coat, resting it with the slightest squeeze before dropping away,, “run this by them also, that the Sarge says he’s off limits.”

Off limits. He almost missed the two nodding in agreement as he processed what her words meant.

“Hey, Tam,” Nguyen reached across the table, tapping the surface by where the Sergeant’s arms were folded. “In exchange for this massive favor, you gonna come back out from behind that desk again? Joshi’s got that standing offer for you to join us in plain clothes again, I hear.

Beside him, Flint shifted minutely. Uncomfortably? “I’m fine where I am, Detective, you know that. ‘Asides, if she wants me back that badly she can make it an order.” She shrugged, barely a lift of her shoulders. “You never know, though. Someday I’ll get bored in the precinct maybe, and finally go outside again.”

The humor in her voice sounded forced to his ears, but the seriousness of the moment was broken. Making their goodbyes, Flint excused herself from her friends, and strode back along the street, with him following a step behind, the two of them alone in the crowds again.

The carefully-designed investigator’s mind they’d built in him was racing with questions as he followed, watching the sharp set of her shoulders in the blue coat. All of them led back to why . Why had she asked him to meet her and spend another evening out with her? Why go out of her way to meet him at the station, Why introduce him to her friends, and ask-

She’d known. She’d known the pair would be eating in this neighborhood, and for her own reasons had made the encounter and request appear casual. But. But that still left the question of why . She didn’t have to do this, didn’t have to protect him. He’d been built to endure the violence that came with the solitary life of a blade runner. He - didn't’ want, couldn’t want anything else - would have survived. But the sergeant had told him she’d used her position and influence to put the fear of real consequences, the fear of their sergeant into his - his attackers. Off limits , she’d said. She’d already done that for him. Now, she’d gone further and requested help from detectives . Human detectives. For him. If he could have felt shame, felt it even after what he’d been subjected to in his short life so far, he would have been ashamed of the request that the well-known and respected partners have to watch out for him, that they have to watch out for one replicant in the station who can’t-

But. There was, once more, that strange warmth in his chest that she was trying to protect him, and they’d agreed. He’d never spoken with the pair - still hadn’t beyond a few words, he realized, playing back the conversation - and, because she’d asked them, the two had agreed to help watch out for him and keep Walters and his cronies off his back. It wasn’t much on the surface, but, if they kept their word, then the number of humans in this world who gave a second thought for his life had just tripled. It seemed unlikely, but. . . but the memory of warm food and tea, of the blue-coated figure parting the crowds ahead of them, and of the rare, warm touches said it just all might be true.

That figure strode ahead, hand now shoved deep back into the pockets of her coat, and he followed as always, just a step behind her shoulder. With one long step, he caught up, for once walking beside her. She looked as she did that first night, that determination, that deeply hidden burning anger that only highly-tuned senses could have detected. “Thank you. . . thank you for doing that. You didn’t have to” He sounded too quiet in his own ears again, each word carefully measured out.

She shrugged one shoulder, “can’t always be around to keep those sonsabitches off you, already asked Bernal and Elliot to help keep an eye out also. They’ve never bothered you, right?” One eyebrow tilted, she glanced across him finally.

He’d seen the two men on occasion also, they’d maybe looked at him in passing but never longer than it took to recognize his approach before going back to their own conversion, their own lives. “No, they’ve never bothered me. “

“Yeah, those two are the last guys I’d ever suspect, and the last who’d be into whatever kicks Walters and the others get from. . . well, it’s just not their thing.”

There were several things she could mean, but right now it meant he had two pairs of respected, senior, human officers watching his back in the station.

“Thank you” His voice was even quieter this time. Falling back to his usual position at her back, he almost missed the quirk of a smile his thanks earned.

“It’s the least I can do, Officer K.” Her voice was that almost-gentle tone again, the current of anger she’d carried all night hidden deep. “Like I said before, you shouldn’t have to put up with how they treat you.”

Any other protests he might have made, if he’d been able to find it in himself to ever contradict her, were lost as he trailed her through the narrow, winding stalls of the night market she’d led them into. This was more closely packed than the one she’d brought him to before, smaller openings for evening shoppers to eat, and tighter lanes wrapping around the few, coveted stores hemming the packed streets. Long legs carried Flint smoothly through the press, sliding around crowds with the occasional person slipping out of the way upon recognizing her. Finally, she slowed, giving him the chance to catch up.

“Up there,” she gestured at a larger booth, selling what looked like fruit from a distance. It was set up against a wall, possibly connected to one of the permanent shops if he judged the large, semi-permanent structure right. They stopped, and he watched over her shoulder as the sergeant leaned in, ordering from the woman behind the counter, her sleek dark hair a contrast with Flint’s fiery copper. It was hard to hear, even with his heightened senses, but he could faintly make out “les vrais” before the woman nodded, vanishing into the darkness of her shop.

“When I was a kid,” Flint had turned, staring out across the market as she spoke, her nomad’s drawl slipping back into her speech, “sometimes we’d find berry bushes up in the mountains still. Scrubby lil’ things, but they’d be out there clingin’ to life.” His full attention was focused on the story, another memory of a real childhood she was sharing with him. “Sometimes we’d find berries on them, growing in whatever sunlight the things could get. Dusty, tart little things, but we’d pick any we could reach. Bring ‘em to the city, get good money for ‘em, even then.”

He could only imagine, produce that wasn’t grown in Wallace-made facilities was treated like gold, and-

The thought was interrupted as the soft rustling of paper containers sliding across the counter heralded the woman’s return. Two small, paper cups holding. . . holding blackberries.

“Since getting here, this is the only place I’ve found that still has a hookup with other dusties, can still buy the berries from outside the city.” Her almost-grin looked more like a grin than ever now. As she reached out, taking the cups from the woman, he almost missed the flash of a slip of paper passed along with one cup to the sergeant, vanishing behind her fingers a moment later. Strange, but her business was none of his, and questioning human officers, no matter how odd their behavior, was not his job.

The almost-warm almost-grin was back as she passed him one of the small cups, and for once, he barely noticed how her hand pulled away too quickly for their fingers to touch. The cup held barely a handful of small, dark berries, with a small swirl of . . . whipped cream? Slowly, carefully, he tried a berry with a bit of the cream, and-

For a heartbeat, it was as though a part of his brain froze and a wave of something ran through him as the thin membranes of the berry burst on his tongue. It was sweet , sweet in a way nothing he’d ever tried compared to. There was a tart earthiness to the berry, a burst of flavor and juice that no synthetically grown food could compare with, somehow more substantial than any fruit he’d tried before.

“Like it?” Beside him, Flint popped one of her own berries in her mouth, eyes suddenly distant as she chewed.

“It’s. . . it's real. ” This was real food, something more real than he’d ever had, ever be able to afford on his own and that ache behind his sternum was back, aching for everything he’d never know, never be able to experience, everything that was long-gone from the world even before he’d drawn his first breath. “They’re. . . really real. Ma’am I can’t-”

“Yeah, they’re real. They get sweeter when they’re on the plant longer, get to stay in the sun longer, but those don’t stay good as long to get em’ to a buyer.” She popped another berry in her mouth, savoring it for a moment. “And I know what you’re going to say, K, and you absolutely can . Your life doesn’t have to be shitty, leastways no shittier than any of ours down here, just because of what you are. You get a chance to enjoy some small, bright spot of joy down here, you enjoy what you can, you hear me?”

He did, and while most of what she said still sounded wrong to him, he took another bite of berries and cream, feeling the flavors burst in his mouth like nothing ever had before, feeling their realness and beauty. It was wasted on him, of course, since he was neither of those things himself, but . . . but for however long he had left to live, he’d remember the taste. “Yes, ma’am. And thank you, for the berries, for everything. If it’s an order, then I’ll. . . allow myself to enjoy things.”

That drew a snort of a laugh from her. “It’s not an order, just a suggestion. It took me a hellova long time once I got here to start livin’ like a civilized person, enjoying the stuff we never had out there,” she jerked her head in what was probably the direction of the badlands, “havin’ so much running water alone felt wrong. But, I adapted. Learned to take what little softness the city had. It’s different, but. . . you learn to live, understand?”

He did, a little. Remembering his curt, perfunctory showers framed her words over that being even more water than a nomad girl had in a new light. “I- I think so. I’ll. . . I’ll learn, eventually. Maybe get to do some living while I’m alive, right?” The dry humor was coming easier now.

Chewing the last of her cupful of the rare treat, Flint’s quirk of a grin showed it was appreciated. Eventually, regretfully, the last of the purple-black jewel-like berries he guessed to be more rare and prized than actual jewels these days was gone. The only trace was the lingering tartness on his tongue, and the rich, slightly-sweet oiliness of the cream coating his mouth.

He’d just eaten what was likely a small fortune in bootleg, genuine fruit. There was a strange mix of - not emotions he didn’t feel - from the delicacy. He knew he didn’t deserve them, that the rare produce grown on some far-off mountain that still had the faintest tang of dust clinging to them was far beyond the station for which he’d been made, been manufactured. They had been more real and valuable than he. But. But she’d told him he could eat them. Had wanted to see him enjoy them. If it had been anyone but Flint he might have suspected they’d wanted to see his reaction, if he reacted, to the taste as their own entertainment. She wasn’t like that and it didn’t take the heightened intuition and observational reflexes that had been carved into his nervous system to see that. She’d told him to eat, and even though the same deeply-carved and wired instincts recognized her as a superior officer, and something deep within his mind knew her as a registered user and her orders were law and there was never any question about obeying her commands. This hadn’t been an order, really. She’d given him the food, sure, but the closest thing to an actual order had been. . . to find what made him happy? He may not have been given the luxury of free will, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t find peace in the small luxuries he was able to obtain.

It didn’t make sense, not with everything he knew to be true about himself, how he was created and what he’d been created to do. That he was a product, not a person. Maybe, though, maybe what the sergeant wanted him to hear was that it didn’t mean he had to endure what might be a short, brutal life entirely alone and empty. The idea was . . . new. As much as he could trust any human, and any who he’d been created to serve and obey, he trusted her.

They’d thrown the empty containers away as they exited the market, Flint falling back a step to walk beside him, far enough away her elbows couldn’t brush his with her hands back in her coat pockets, face hidden inside the cavernous hood. They walked in silence that way for a few blocks, the sounds and lights of the city at night rippling around them.

“Bein’ a nomad, it’s not all that folks think it is.” Her voice broke the silence between them, and he half-turned to look at the sergeant beside him on the sidewalk, but the shadow of the hood hid her face as she spoke. “Folks in the Department jus’ know the dusties in raiding parties, maybe some that’ll camp outside the city, sellin’ anything that’ll sell. Anything we’ve found.”

We , she’d said. It’d been a long time since Flint had been with them, K remembered, but she still slipped and called herself one of them.

“But ridin’ together, stripping abandoned buildings, cities, looking for anything we can use, sure it’s a rough life but you’ve got the convoy, you know?”

He didn’t know, but stayed silent as she spoke.

“There’s scavenging yeah, but we weren’t scaveys, not like those almost-ferals down south. We work as teams, families sometimes, watch each other’s backs. You learn to turn junk into whatever we needed out there. Going on reuse and recycle runs to find supplies off old trucks, old machines. Clean it up, hammer out the dents, and cut it int’a what you need.”

They walked, surrounded by the darkness and grime of the city that was the only home he’d known, but. . . but her words conjured up memories that weren’t his, of a dirty, lonely childhood spent hammering trash for the few pieces of treasure. Of bleak, dusty stretches of parched land. What could a life out there have been with a convoy and family behind you? “I. . . I have memories of the ruins,” it was the first time he’d told anyone about the past that wasn’t his. “In an orphanage, they put us to work picking over scrap metal, breaking apart old machines.”

A small hum of what might have been sympathy sounded from the hooded woman. “Think I heard about places like that, never been near one from what I recall. Yeah the clan had kids around but if’n one lost their folks, we’d just keep ‘em and raise ‘em with the rest.”

A family, even in the harsh, wild life of the nomadic clans out in the badlands, it was more than he’d ever had. Ever have. “So, why’d you leave and join the Police?” There were notes in the file, and while he could put together pieces from her interview and records, there were also things she’d never said.

For a few steps, they walked together in silence again until he thought she might not answer. “Lost my ma when I was real young,” that much he’d already heard. “My brother and my Da were on a convoy with me, and one night raiders hit us. We got away but Da got hit and we lost him.” Her words were short, clipped. Rehearsed? Something nearly inaudible in her tone sounded rehearsed but then, he supposed, she must have told this story before. The Madam had been her partner in the past and he doubted the hard-eyed woman he answered to would have let Flint’s history stay a mystery to her.

“Brother and I stayed on the convoy together for a time after that, then one night we met up with another band, and knew the folks so we camped together that night,” she continued. “In the morning, he was gone. Hopped a truck in the other caravan and left.”

“He left you?”

She shrugged, one-shouldered. “Left the memories, saw a chance for a new band to fight with and took it. He liked to fight.” The last sounded almost sad. “Didn’t have anything keepin’ me there, so I packed whatever I had and came here. Knew the city was dangerous and all, but if’n I’m gonna get mine one day, I figured I’d do it somewhere I didn’t hafta forage for food and might get a hot shower first.” Beside him, she rolled her shoulders, head tilting back to look at the sky. It had begun snowing again, and the flakes settled on her lashes in the glimpse of her face he got before, lowering her head once again, she was lost in the hood.

“Why’d you choose to join the police?” You had the choice to join. He’d never have the choice to or not, only the preprogrammed memories of choosing that he’d been given, like a pile of clothing left folded on a chair for him.

“Why them? Well, as much as I can keep an engine goin’, things I was best at were fighting and shooting. Spent enough years guarding convoys I thought might as well get paid for it, not that the pay for a beat cop just startin’ out is that much, but it sure as hell was more than I’d ever had before.”

And it sure as hell had to be more than the small allowance he was given by the same department.

“Also, picked the Police over private cops because I’d heard they always needed fresh meat, and weren’t as choosy. Knew I could handle anything they threw at me after growin’ up how I did.” Her voice had dropped off at the end, and . . . and he could almost relate, almost understand with his fictional past. Fighting to survive in the orphanage had made the brutality, the isolation of his life here almost easy. But- but her past was real , her humanity stood as a chasm between them and their nearly parallel stories.

“And now here you are.”

“Here I am.”

“Ever think of. . . of visiting them, your clan?”

Another long pause. “Got no one left to visit. Some old friends, yeah. Might find my brother out there if I go asking around, if he’s still topside. Been so long though, don’t think I’d really know them that much. Anyway, got my life here now. Got work to do.”

They’d reached the platform for the monorail again, and, now silent, she led him back across the platform and onto the car. She was silent again as they soared through the night, the sleek metal capsule flying past spinners and signs, the smells of bodies and metal dust and late-night spilled alcohol drifting around them. Soon, they had stopped again, and he realized this was the station closest to the market and his own neighborhood.

Still in silence now, they walked together through the snow-dusted streets. Around them, the lights rippled off the powder in the moments before it melted to a cold grey slush, turning the streets a momentary shimmering rainbow of neon.

They were a few blocks from his building when she broke the silence. “I’m taking the promotion.”

Only his expertly crafted neurochemical system kept him from twitching at the jolt of surprise. “The promotion?”

“Back to sergeant.” She’d shoved her hood back, staring levelly ahead, face back to the stony mask. “Got an ultimatum from the L-T. Wants me to take it, join a new task force that’s being built for these kidnappings, or else I’ll be put on the nomad raids.”

He remembered that briefing, the events. . . after had made the report less important, and it wasn’t his work anyway, but he’d heard talk in passing of more disappearances in the week since. But that would mean. . .

“So I won’t be around as much anymore, K. Might be in the precinct for reports but can’t say it’ll be regularly anymore. I’ve done what I can and having detectives saying you’re off limits should keep those pieces of shit off your back.”

At least as far as anyone could see them, he knew. It might not stop the wandering eyes and hands, but he hoped, as much as he could hope for anything, it would keep them from going any further again. “I. . . I understand. Does this mean-”

“And these nights will have to end, yes.” The words were as cold as the snow beneath their boots. “I’ve had word from up above that this. . . association is frowned on. Might impact your effectiveness or something. Point is, I’ve been ordered to back off.”

It was back, that yawning pit inside his guts, knowing now how much it ached when he wasn’t supposed to feel it ache, feel anything. He knew now what it was to have someone being near him, to walk beside in the dark, to eat with, tasting flavors he’d never dreamed he could ever know. But now, now he knew . And because of what he was, who had paid for him, he was denied that life a second time. “I understand.” He swallowed around the tightness rising up his throat. “I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any trouble, sergeant.”

They’d reached his doorstep again, and she glanced away, the corners of her mouth turning down as the simmering anger she’d carried all night flared. She’d known. She’d planned this as a final night, he realized. Flint must have been told that week, been arguing with Joshi that day in the hallway, and had planned this night to be a farewell, to tell him others would be looking out for him and to give him one last taste of the life he could never know. A taste of the fruit he would never be worthy of knowing. She’d known it would always end like this.

“It’s no trouble, Officer K. And if the department wants to come down on anyone for this, they can take it out on me. I’ve been around long enough to handle it.” And for her, censure wouldn’t mean the risk of retirement.

A rapid flicker of emotions nearly broke her stone-like composure, nearly said something else before the faint click of her teeth killed the words. “Goodnight, officer.” Turning on her heel, she strode into the dark and snow.

“Goodbye,” his whisper followed her into the night.

On feet that felt as dead and heavy as lead from more than just the cold, he forced himself to climb the long flights of stairs up to his apartment. The jeers and hands reaching and groping for him that he usually had to endure on the path to his door all faded out as white noise tonight. Silently, he brushed past all of them, head down, ducking into the safety of his collar. Cans and debris crunched under his boots as he shouldered past figures outside his apartment. Someone called out at him as he unlocked the door, slipping inside as it shut behind him before any reaching fingers could catch the back of his coat (this time).

He was alone.

He’d always been alone. Now, he- he could almost feel how alone he was.

(He wasn’t supposed to have feelings opinions but still-)

Silently, as always, he moved through his evening routine. He was meant to be alone. The lukewarm water of his shower pelted skin. He’d known almost what it was like to have a friend. The packaged seasoning for the stovetop noodles smelled stale compared to the memory of flavors so sudden his eyes had nearly watered. The packaged food was better than the protein grubs, although less nutritious, but the meal earlier had been solid and warm and he wished he could forget how the background hypervigilance needed for a blade runner to survive had quieted some with the presence in the blue coat beside him. Harsh alcohol burned down his throat, washing the small meal down, but the memory of the taste of berries and cream still clung to his taste buds.

Curled in his thin, cold fold-out bed, he thought ahead to what the next day might hold, his time on the case had run out, and depending on what was asked by the people even beyond his Madame’s sphere of power, he could be gone and another, new replicant in this apartment in the next few days. He’d been given a case with little to use and a short timeline, been given as little choice or consideration in this assignment as he’d ever been, and now the one person who’d cared enough to try to help him the least bit was gone. If the worst happened the next day, there’d be no one left to remember him. A deep curl of something by his heart almost ached at the thought. As he drifted off, the ghostly memory of a rough wooden toy in small hands that weren’t really his made his palms itch with the phantom touch, and the persistent whispered “ survive” slid through his mind, soothing away the thing that another might have called despair.

<- Chapter 2. Chapter 4. ->

#blade runner 2049 #blade runner #blade runner fanfic #fanfic #blade runner 2049 fanfic #officer kd6 3.7 #officer K. fanfic #ryan gosling #writing #cyberpunk

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