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#i was about to say ‘i wish i was lovable’ but i think thats a stretch
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a dedication to someone that doesn’t deserve one
AroarA // june gehringer // sue zhao // ashstfu // ryebreadgf // sue zhao // rvbhleo // osamu dazai // ojibwa // ashstfu // anna ahkmatova // trista mateer // margaret atwood // unknown // mahmoud darwish // ocean vuong // yves olade // unknown // ocean vuong // lucille clinton // fleabag
[text IDs: Image 1: AroarA, #6: “that the house is slowly on fire / that the house is slowly on fire // and I can't get you to leave it / and I can't get you to leave it // and I can't leave without you / and I can't leave without you”
Image 2: june gehringer, I love you, it looks like rain: “the worst part of love is / that I remember it. // I walk around all day thinking: I'm going to die in the universe you loved me in. // I get so jealous of euthanized dogs.“
Image 3: sue zhao: He asks: “"how do I get over somebody I never had?" And says: // I did not love you but I almost did. At one time, I might have loved you - at least, I felt I might have. If you were never loved by me, then nevertheless you were lovable to me. Last night I dreamt that your head lay on my stomach and traced the rise and fall of my breath. It felt complete natural - even though I knew once, we had left each other. Even though I knew we had wounded each other. In the dream state, forgiveness comes easily. I never loved you but I almost did. There are days when the breadth of ambiguity feels much worse. There are days I wish I would have loved you so I would know how to stop.
Image 4: ashstfu, tumblr: “girls vs getting over anythings thats ever happened to them in their life”
Image 5: ryebreadgf, tumblr: “YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN BITE AND SCRATCH AND BEG BUT YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK!”
Image 6: sue zhao: “How often are you violent against yourself? Does it horrify you? Can you stop? Do you want to? And if you did, would you know how to?”
the last three sentences spanning from “Can you stop?” to “would you know how to?” have been underlined in blue
Image 7: rvbhleo, all caps: “WHAT IS THE POINT OF LUKEWARM LOVE? IF IM NOT DROWNING IN IT I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR IT”
Image 8: osamu dazai, no longer human, highlighted in pink: “the wound has gradually become dearer to me than my own flesh and blood”
Image 9: ojibwa, tumblr: “Grieving, grieving, constantly grieving./I mourn what could have been, what will not be, what I can't save.”
Image 10: ashstfu, tumblr: sometimes getting over something is accepting you will never get over it”
Image 11: anna ahkmatova, parting: “I am very calm. Only do not talk to me about him.”
Image 12: margaret atwood, more and more: “there is no reason for this, only a starved dog’s logic on bones”
Image 13: unknown, all caps: “OTHER BOYS ARE BORING AND YOU ARE A BURNING HOUSE I WANT TO LIVE IN”
Image 14: mahmoud darwish, formatted as if in dialogue between two people: “ -Do you have any weapons on you?” “-I have a longing that's killing me.” 
the second sentence is highlighted in yellow
Image 15: trista mateer, honeybee: “I've gotten so good/about not flinching at the sound of your name/that people don't know I'd still throw myself/mouth-open into the ocean/for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.“
Image 16: yves olade, bloodsport: “All that/matters is that you want to hurt me. // All that matters is that you want me/Say the word & I'll burn for ten days.”
Image 17: unknown, all caps: “LETS GO TO THE GARDEN./LETS BE KIDS AGAIN./I’LL CHASE YOU IF YOU CHASE ME.”
Image 18: ocean vuong, on earth we’re briefly gorgeous, highlighted in yellow: “When does a war end? When can I say vour name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?”
Image 19: lucille clifton, climbing: “maybe i should have wanted less./maybe i should have ignored the bowl in me/burning to be filled./maybe i should have wanted less.”
Image 20: fleabag, season 2 episode 6: a screenshot of the priest looking at fleabag, captioned, “It’ll pass.” below]
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kpopscruggles · 4 months
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ok remembered the sungchan prompt SO 😘😘
sungchan was always annoying to you. annoyingly loud. annoyingly wild. annoyingly hot. annoyingly cute. annoyingly lovable. it was hard not to fall for his annoying ass.
"yn, i think he's into you. i mean yeah he's nice but it's different when it's you and thats not because you're his roommate" you roll your eyes while your best friend tries to feed in your delusion "he's so hot and friendly im pretty sure he has someone already and yk im just ug-" your best friend shut you up before you try to spiral "ok stop you're one of the prettiest people ever, PLUS, you guys are roommates im pretty sure if he's seeing someone you would know"
"well fuck my partner just said i need to go now to fix our project" you friend said after looking at their notifs "where is he anyways?" your friend ask "in another party" you roll your eyes out again not hiding the fact that you wished he was hanging out with you instead
with your friend gone all that can think is really about sungchan. is there actually a possibility for us to be together? you ask yourself. you got surprised when a knock was heard in your door. not the door to the apartment but the door to your room.
you quickly fixed yourself before opening the door, to sung- "heyyy" a long haired man shows up in front of it. hes really fucking hot ???!:!..!. "oh wow sungchan didn't lie you are really pretty" you blush by this stranger's compliment completely ignoring the fact that sungchan calls you his pretty roommate. "wonbin" he raises his arms to shake your hands and you look down to see the veins on his hand thats really visible with his sleeveless outfit "yn" you said. he felt soft. he made you completely forget sungchan until you heard a familiar cough
(wonbin's outfit: https://pin.it/FC7JipCSj)
you turn to see sungchan wearing a sheer outfit with a blazer. "ynieee" he turns to you hugging you tightly. so tight you could feel his muscles. you felt like youre in heaven feeling sungchan but you wanted to not make it obvious so you pulled out even though you thought sungchan doesn't wanna let you go "channieee, i thought you guys were in a party"
(sungchan's outift: https://weverse.io/riize/artist/2-133557627)
wonbin answered you "the party was shitty as fuck, we just bought drinks and ordered pizza and decided to judt drink here" he said sitting on the sofa. he smirks before patting on the seat beside him "care to join us pretty?"
"he doesnt really drink wonb-" sungchan rambled until he was interrupted "gladly" you said going to the space making sungchan seat on the other side away from you.
sungchan secretly hated this idea. he was suppose to spend tonight with you. but you're busy flirting with his friend. he wanted to do anything just to keep you away from him and to trap you between his arms. he saw an opportunity when he heard a ping in his phone
"wonbin. the pizza is here" sungchan said. the delivery in your apartment you have to get your delivery from the lobby so he knows he has a long time alone with you. now with wonbin gone he can have you all for yourself and he wasted no time getting closer to you
"didn't knew you like wonbin that much" he said getting closer to you "huh?" you said quickly turning to see sungchan trapping you with his arms "i thought maybe i had a chance with you but turns out" he pouted while saying it making you annoyed at him again "sungchan i swear to go-"
"who do you like anyways? here you are looking pretty as ever, hot as fuck, while being cute, you got me and my friend falling head over heels for you who do you like really so i know who to fi-"
"sungchan" you whispered "hmm? what did you say" he said holding your chin making him look at you. "i like you sungchan" you said blushing.
"good. i like-no i love you yn" he said "may i" he says touching your lips with his thumb. you just kissed him too tired and needy for an oral answer
the two of you just kissed even with wonbin going back with the pizza sungchan didnt care but when you saw him you jumped with sungchan just being annoyed that you broke the kiss before kissing you again
"don't mind me, i'll just make out with the pizza then" wonbin said before eating the pizza seductively looking directly at the two of you as he ate the cheese pull. a part of you did get the ick but why is there a part of you that wanted for him to eat you out like he does with the pizza.
you three enjoyed the pizza before going to "sleep". the two of you slept at your room while wonbin slept at sungchan's room. the two of you fucked till morning while wonbin jerked off thinking of his two crushes fucking each other. wishing to get in the middle of it.
OKAY BUT BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING AND SUNGCHAN JUST LOOKS AT WONBIN!!!
He might even say some slick shit like “have fun listening” “sounds pretty didn’t he” and he’ll run your thigh while wonbin just nods “you can say something, go ahead, give my baby a compliment” too the point where wonbin will basically kiss your feet and Sungchan will just smile “it’s all mine”
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bonny-kookoo · 1 year
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I NEEED a part two to that snowball angst
Does Jungkook come back and find her missing?
Do Namjoon and Yoongi come back and find her missing?
Do they go and look for her?
Does she get hurt?
I NEED ANSWERS BONNY!
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Something buzzes on your wrist, catching you off guard on the small spot you sit on near the colorfully lightened pond.
[Tag Alert] blinks on the small display of the watch-like hybrid safety device you remember getting when you were given into the care of the company and simultaneously the boys. You know what it means- someone's trying to locate you right now. But who? And why?
Does it matter?
You swing your legs back and forth on the bench, heels hitting the concrete slab beneath every now and then while you drink your sugary sweet drink in your hand. Hoseok would always get that exact one every time he'd go see a doctor for anything needing to be done as a treat of sorts- but you're a big dog now. You can get these all you want now.
You can make up your own treats.
You can hear the soles of someone's shoes scratch over something, before a person drops down the wall behind you, almost slipping a little. "There you are!" Jungkook's familiar voice asks, the only thing apart from his sense that you could identify him by since he's covered by facemask and dark bucket hat. "What're you doing all on your own, hm? Did something happen?" He worries a little, squatting down in front of you with his hands on your knees to look up at your face.
You shake your head. "No." You shrug. "Just wanted to go out. S' all." You say, and he lowers his brows into a frown, visibly not convinced. "How was your date?..was she nice?" You ask, and he seems confused now.
"What date- you mean my physical exam? Same as always, just a bit taller than last year. And yeah, the nurse was nice?" He wonders, until he seems to realize. "Wait- you thought I went on an actual date?" He asks, and you look down into the cup in your hands.
"Doesn't concern me anyway.." you mumble. "You deserve a nice girlfriend and all that." You say, but he shakes his head.
"But I've got you?" He wonders, palms running over your thighs in an attempt to reassure. "I don't need anyone else." The idol tries to clarify.
"I'm on my own." You tell him. "I finished gathering all documents.. n stuff for independent living. I'm pretty sure I'll get it approved." You say, trying to seem excited about it.
"If you.. truly want that, I won't say no. I've got no right to decide that for you." Jungkook offers in a tone that's surprisingly serious. "But don't do it because you think that's needed so we can be happy. I know I'm happiest when you're with me." He explains, and you lower your head.
"I.. you know, maybe, but when you have a girlfriend one day-" you argue, and he chuckles.
"But why a girlfriend?" He wonders.
"Boyfriend, who cares what you wanna go for-" you sigh, and he still smiles with his eyes.
"I wanna go for you." He shrugs softly. "I wanna go out with you. Have you as my girlfriend. I thought I made that pretty obvious?" He smiles, leaning his head to the side.
"I- but I'm a-" you start, though he won't let you finish properly.
"-a very sweet and funny and caring and pretty and lovable little being that I want to have around me all the time." He talks over you. "I don't care about anything but you. Being with you. Just the idea makes me all warm inside." He says. "Do you want that too?" He asks, and you squirm. You do- but at the end you know you can't have what you want. "No, don't think of an answer that'll be what's best for me. I want that answer." He says, poking your heart. "I wanna know what that wants."
"That thing is running on nothing but daydreams and wishful thinking." You sigh. "So that thing is useless."
"Definitely not." He disagrees. "Cause mine beats just as fast as yours does right now. And I think I know why." He cheekily comments.
"Thats all the sugar." You try and avoid it, before he leans closer, pulls down his mask to place a short peck just close to the edge of your lips.
"Hm no, that's not the sugar." He laughs at your scandalized face.
"Jung-" you force yourself to hiss a but quieter. "Jungkook, what if someone sees?!" You worry, and he laughs.
"Then let me take you back home, where you belong." He offers kindly. "Where it's just us, where no one's looking, where you're safe and sound. Please, puppy- don't shut us out like that just because you're scared. Don't shut me out." He says now a bit upset, and you can see the way his eyes shimmer, all round and pleading as they watch you. "I love you."
"I love you too but-" you start, but he instead begins to visibly light up, getting up to grab your hand.
"No buts." He shakes his head, squeezing your hand as he leads you back to his place. "None of that. I love you, you love me too-" he says, swinging your hands a bit,
"-and I won't let anything ruin that for us."
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original "sam is an abusive cop" anon here; i. didnt necessarily mean to spark ACAB discourse i apologise. but i thought id jump in with what i meant bcz i think its a bit silly for people to be like "hating a character for being a cop is a bad thing" like? guys? this conversation is sooo stale and its sooo annoying Yes i Know cops arent hiveminds(ha) that arent all individually evil (they do willingly support a corrupt system, but im not here to talk about the complexity of the retributive justice system rn) but. when it comes to fictional characters, they represent something. they arent real people, they have nuance yes but not the same amount of nuance as a real person, they are constructs meant to communicate a narrative or a theme or a concept or literally whatever. and sam specifically is a construct meant to represent corruption in the police. simple as that. if he was a bigger character with more screentime i would maybe get it? but as it stands right now, he really is not that nuanced. he literally uses his power as a cop to kidnap a child. and that is like one of the very few things hes done in canon. i dont have an issue with people making shit up about fictional characters but my question is. why him? what about him is so woobifiable and lovable? he is a funny character, dont get me wrong but like. idk man i feel like sometimes people should just make ocs. sorry to bring this up again lmaoo im just sick of this kind of rhetoric and am also passionate about media literacy and analysis. i truly am not trying to spark up More discourse in your inbox honestly i do not wish that upon you but yeah i just thought id make myself clear. also to the people making this a commentary about how americans are weird and overdramatic about the police, i am not american and also i think thats a bit of a weird thing to say. anyways sorry for the word dump haha.
~~~
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page551 · 11 months
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(long ask, sorry)
me, starting to read orv: *never questions anything, why the novel became a reality, who yjh's sponsor is, buying into kim dokja's shitty explanations for his extreme self-sacrificial tendencies. Because. those things just aren't questioned, and definitely not answered in most isekai rpg-esque stories i read*
me, finishing orv: *traumatized, because singnsong proceeded to answer all of those blanks in horrifyingly profound and literary ways*
i just..never thought about it too much?? i reallly did go into this blind, thinking it was a normal, wish fulfillment/self-insert, loser mc to hero fantasy T.T i should've gone in further to your posts because maybe i might've been warned (i started reading cuz of you !!! now pay for my therapy :)
OD reveal my beloved <3 everything about kdj just makes me cry man. i did not think i was gonna get attached to him as much as i am now 😭😭 maybe i was jaded from the multiple shitty isekai anime and manga i've read but i really just wasn't expecting kdj to have such character- ALL of the characters to be so lovable and make me want to cry, cheer and cherish all of them. ESPECIALLY yoo joonghyuk, man the early days of orv where i thought he was gonna be the typical punching bag asshole, unimportant side-character, who the mc gives a beatdown to as some kind of power play(?) 😭 embarassing. hahahhaha
i feel like thats exactly orv's goal. to lure you in with a bunch of trendy genres and tropes and then somewhere down the line it hits your psyche at your most vulnerable. you see kdj being so confident in his knowledge of the world, so omniscient, so to speak, that you simply do not need to question his otherwise eyebrow-raising deeds. he says that helping lgy was hypocritical. he tells ysa that he threw the insect net in her direction by coincidence. he says that yjh is a cold psycho who only cares about seeing the end of the scenarios. and you end up "believing" him. bcs he's omniscient
but then, fast forward a few scenarios later and kdj prioritizes lgy over himself and gives him to yjh to fill the green zone. fast forward a few scenarios more and kdj saves ysa's life with 4th wall's help. he sees yjh lose it when he dies in front of him. he gets so emotional when he finds out yjh has come to the demon realm for him (albeit kdj always seems to give yjh the short end of the stick by Doubting him but by this point we know that he may not be as omniscient as we first thought. especially when it comes to knowing everything about yjh)
fun fact abt me i also kinda went into orv 'blind' so to speak. sure i knew who od sp and tls123 were in names only but the actual revelations shook me to my core regardless 😭😭
and omg 🥺🥺 you read orv because of me im so honored OTL making ppl read orv is like my only goal in life at this point gjsjsh
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wildernezz · 3 months
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Metal Lords: movie review
summary of plot (no spoilers): a dorky awkward kid named Kevin is friends with this wannabe metalhead named Hunter. they're starting a band together but because of their flaws, their progress fumbles a bit. however, after finding out about their schools Battle of the Bands, they start working to prepare for the contest. as they improve their skills, they also improve their social lives and their own personalities
general thoughts: I GENUINELY LOVED THIS MOVIE SM????? god if youre into movies about a buncha flawed misfit friends then this is definitely a movie i'd recommend. the first few bits are a little awkward because you can kinda feel that the actors are still getting into their roles, but sticking it to the end is ABSOLUTELY worth it. all of the characters were so lovable and it genuinely filled that "i wanna see a movie about people just being people" hole in my heart. i still have no idea how to describe those kind of movies, but i feel like if yknow then youll know.
movies "Metal Lords" reminds me of: Theater Camp, I Used To Be Famous, School of Rock, Love Simon
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SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT WEEWOOWEEWOO:
in depth but also scattered thoughts bc i cant organize for shit:
I LOVE THE SILLIES SM???? THEYRE ALL MY FAVORITE SILLIES???????? LITERALLY THE ONLY CHARACTER I HATED WAS SKIP (HUNTER'S BULLY), EVERYONE ELSE WAS SO SILLY????? ofc theyre all flawed and there were parts in the movie (especially with hunter) that made me disappointed to see, but the character progression was so satisfying and i loved seeing them all grow. it was genuinely so silly to me i love them all sm
EMILY AND KEVIN WERE SO CUTE TOGETHER???? AND I HONESTLY LOVED EMILY SM??????? JUST IN GENERAL??? LOVED KEVIN TOO BUT MAN I THINK EMILY IS MY FAVORITE. i loved all of her moments sm???? she has a lotta flaws but theyre honestly all reasonable and understandable to me so i kinda just forgive her for them anyways. i also just really love how sweet kevin is to her. like ofc he's not a perfect boyfriend and makes some slipups, but he genuinely really cares about her and i think it's so cute to watch.
more about me loving emily: I LOVED THE FACT THAT SHE DIDNT FORGIVE HUNTER RIGHT AWAY. LIKE IT WOULDVE BEEN COOL TO SEE, BUT THE PAYOFF AT THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS WAS EVEN BETTER. SPEAKING OF WHICH, SHE WAS SOOOOO FUCKING COOLIN THAT SCENE??????? SHE WAS COOL AS FUCK BEFORE THAT (u cannot tell me her cello playing wasnt the most badass thing out there) AND THEN THEFUCKING CCONNNCERRTTT??? IM CRYING I LOVE HER SOMUCCHHCH
i also really loved hunter. like there was a lotta scenes where i wanted somebody to punch him in the face, but he was honestly still lovable even throughout those scenes and he started improving a lot near the end, which was really nice to see. he obviously wasn't completely redeemable since there were still a lot of things he could've done better, but i feel like the fact that he didn't completely become perfect is what made me love his character a lot more. it felt really real to me. he isn't perfect, but he genuinely wants to make up for the shit he's pulled and he's absolutely trying to show it, and isn't that what living's all about anyways? either way, we love hunter in this household <3333
KEVIN'S TIME TO SHINE: that was a lie, i dont have much to say on kevin LMFAO. i absolutely loved seeing him on screen and i just love Jaeden Martell in general, but despite that, there's not really a lot for me to say about him. i just think he's neat. that's enough for me <3333 (emily shouldve been my girlfriend tho smh how dare he /j)
ALSO FUCKING CLAY???? HES SUCH A SILLY GUY. PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE BACKGROUND CHARACTERS FOR MOVIES IN GENERAL???? HES SUCH A SWEET LITTLE GUY AND I LOVED SEEING HIM SM. KINDA WISH I SAW MORE OF HIM BC OF IT. EITHER WAY, WE LOVE CLAY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD AS WELL <333333
i think thats all i have to say for this movie. either way, PLEAASEE check it out. i swear itll be worth it because the characters honestly all so adorable and so silly goofy goober. we love the silly metal lords here <33333
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soulsilvers · 1 year
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Hey there! I hope you are doing well! I was wondering if you had any headcanons on the types of sports and academic subjects Red, Blue and Leaf are good at. I see them all as pretty athletic and smart but like and excelling in different things!
hey!!! im doing good just wish i had more time to draw every thought ive ever had abt them. i hope youre doing great too!!
red is that buff not only from his insane life in a mountain that was somehow survivable, but also from chopping wood, rock climbing, hiking and intensely working out the sadness away at the gym when green leaves to kalos. in kalos green stares at the wood chopping pics his bestest friend sends of himself a tad too long lol. so thats the p obvious stuff. then during his time at the battle tree, his academic interests are reawakened. id say he eventually excels at biology and questions regarding conservation in particular. red strong red SMART!!!
greens gotten his beef from running the gym and plenty of running, and it could also be from the fact he wants to challenge red in everything. they plus leaf enjoy many middle aged dad sports together, he turns into a maniac at tennis or bowling or billiards or idk. thumb wrestling in his neverending guest to defeat red. as for academics, right now im having a bit of trouble thinking of the specifics of his time there (might be cause i myself havent experienced that kind of academic setting..) so uh. thats for some other day :-)
leaf is one hell of a woman. shell do pie eating contests, girlfriend-carrying many women thru many obstacles screaming her lungs out, haggis hurling in galar, peaceful moment of relaxation flower arranging with erika, cave diving to hellish depths, dog surfing but w pokemon.. does she have academics in mind? hm. who knows what shes ever thinking about but shes being so lovable about it.
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destinysbounty · 1 year
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Which villain do you like?
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Ooooh i like a lot of villains! Garmadon, Morro, and Harumi are all obvious answers, of course, i mean those are i think the top 3 fandom faves. If i had to rank them id say Harumi is my favorite out of the three, because i find her rawness so compelling. Like, shes what Lloyd couldve become if he hadnt gotten a proper support system, and thinking about how she and Lloyd are such incredible foils for each other makes me wanna start biting things. Shes so messed up and i love that about her. Part of me wants her to get therapy but the rest of me wants to see how much worse she can get.
So i guess, if you forced me to choose just one villain to call my absolute favorite, id say Harumi. But i feel bad about snubbing all the other delightful villains in this show! I gotta hand it to Ninjago, they really know how to craft a dazzling rogues gallery.
As for underappreciated/underrated villains i love:
Nadakhan. He is SO slimy, and he makes me SO uncomfortable, but honestly thats what makes him work as a villain think. Some Ninjago villains are lovable, tragic, or sympathetic, but hes just a horrible person and youre rooting for his downfall the whole time and its awesome. Also - sky pirate genie who becomes a pirate to compensate for how he can only grant other peoples wishes but never his own, deciding to take by force that which he cannot have, is such a great concept. Really his whole characterization, motivation, and general aesthetic are all very solid, and its a shame Skybound ended up as....messy, as it was. Because the season brings up some amazing themes, characters, and plot lines, but doesnt execute them as well as they deserve.
Aspheera. Not a lot of depth to her, but idk i just love her energy. Shes just my silly little war criminal and i find the pettiness between her and wu delightful
The Mechanic. I 100% support the theory that he was one of those background pirates on Captain Soto's ship who made a life for himself in the modern world by working for Chen. Idk im a sucker for characters who are tangentially woven into the plot - hes there, and the ninjas' actions have direct consequences on his life that turn him into a far more personal enemy. Also, i think the Mechanic should be a Pixal villain. Honestly i think she deserves her own personal villain just in general - poor girl deserves a nemesis 😭😭- and i think the Mechanic fits well into that position. Also, him becoming a major antagonist in Prime Empire and Crystalized was such a satisfying payoff imo. Hes rising up the criminal ranks, im so proud of him. My horrible guy, off to torture nindroids. They grow up so fast
Miss Demeanor. Is she really a villain? I dont care, shes wonderful. Shes got a fantastic vibe and design. Also, "blah blah blah - FIREBALL!" lives in my head rent-free. She honestly deserves more love and i will die on that hill. Shes not a main villain but shes the main villain of my heart and thats what matters.
Actually i change my mind, Miss Demeanor should be Pixal's nemesis instead so they can have rivalry tension. Think Detective Conan vs Kaito Kid type of frenemy action here. Also i just??? Think they would play off each other really well? Lego please hire me so i can write a Pixal focus season where she has funky lil nemesis rivalry with Miss Demeanor. I can make it happen. It would be amazing, you know itd be amazing.
Anyway, thanks for the ask!
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lady-ika · 3 months
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oof.mp3
age 27 with one abusive relationship under my belt and plenty of other "im pretending we're talking but really i just wanna fuck" ones and ik some people have zilch nada of either and i should be content but jesus fucking christ
age 27 and i have a giant teddy bear from a thrift store that i have to cling onto to not let the demons take over and i honestly think i just need to have a full sobbing breakdown about this stupid fucking petty shit
loneliness won't kill me bc i have good great friends and they care about me and my family are assholes but at least theyre around and im just throwing a tantrum about not having a partner.
but i could get onto dating apps-
bro either i get people im definitely not interested in or people who just wanna hook up and im not interested in it. like sometimes i think about having my hookup era but im too anxious to even really consider beyond just teasing these guys and like yeah! im bi! i could go out on dates w girls but id rather not get hatecrimed to death by my family if they ever find out
idk i tell everyone else all day that theyre lovable and deserve the love they want and deserve but like ykno that doesnt apply to myself
like i have nothing to offer and im palatable to friends but romantic partners? nah. im jealous of my married and dating and engaged friends bc i eant to spend my life with someone who actually like. wants me romantically and friends are great but i need something. romantic. idk maybe im just a jealous bitch but i want to have someone that *looks* at me, yknow?
i am not worth a passing glance and my friends say im pretty but i know im not and i wish i looked the way i wanted bc then i would be and i wouldnt look like my mom
and nobody looks at me or notices me and i have to engineer shit to look pretty enough for a picture and i just want to look like one of the xiaohongshu girls bc then i could at least enjoy myself
i exist to be a support character to never have breakdowns and only listen and just be complacent with my hand in life but i wish i could do anything but be a depressed sack of shit and take naps all day or mindlessly scroll so i dont have to feel like this
and maybe this is my hell, that i have to date a cis dude or a passing trans dude if i dont want to get hatecrimed but im so intolerable that this is my punishment that the most hopeless romantic in my friendgroup really is the most hopeless. i just want someone who'll give up or trade off on our favourite character in a game or win me carnival game prizes or somehow always find a way to touch me and won't mind if i grab their hand or will tell about this one thing they like while i work on something or like. i mean i dont have an iphone but for some reason the facetiming while falling asleep hits somehow in my brain and idk.
i feel bad telling ym friend thats never dated that i hate being 2nd choice when she hasnt ever been one but i think theyre. equally devastating. because either way you're haunted w what could have been.
im always the second person after theyve already been in love with someone else or have someone currently or a passing moment of lust or an idle what if and im sick of it
i feel like a kid looking at god or whatever force might manage us like "ive tried to be good to deserve something good i can share and im so full of love but nobody wants to share it with me"
and god just points at my adult life like "but you've been too angry and broke yourself too much" so i stay angry and broken
and alone
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aethlingg · 2 years
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I wish to hear your 'felipe is evil and working with niklaus' theory, if you don't mind?
WOW I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED! ok get comfy this is gonna be long
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Well, (as i posted a bit ago) i saw this in the grizzcord and it immediately set off an alarm in my brain. I mean, grizz is definitely the type of person to use something like a color palette to foreshadow something in the future and so far a lot of things Niklaus-related have been in that color palette. ALSO, not only is he black and gold, he also wears purple clothing. Guess who's color pallate is black and gold and purple? Desire daddy himself.
Now, I know that's not enough to prove anything and me saying he was evil just from that was mostly a joke. But it did get me thinking, and I immediately remembered the temple of the sun goddess. Felipe wasn't able to pass through the door without getting set on fire. Which is weird, considering he is supposedly three days old and is a tour guide. And something tells me that if he were working for Niklaus and was spying on the riptide pirates/trying to gain their trust, that wouldn't sit very well with the sun godess. Especially considering the fact that the chosen one is one of those that are being tricked.
Also, something I just realized as I was looking through the possible fey marks that you can get when you enter the feywild (jay's whiskers and chip's eyes). Jay's and Chip's are the only ones that are actually on that list of fey marks. I thought it might just be a human thing, but I didn't see anything about pixie wings anywhere. Now, that may have just been Grizzly altering the possible fey marks cuz he came up with more that he liked, but idk it seems like a weird thing to change while he kept most of everything else the same. (also gillion's sparkles that follow him are in a fey characteristics list (used when making a character from the feywild) instead of fey marks which i thought was weird but hey thats not what this post is about)
He also seems to be trying to gain the trust of the party, especially Chip. I mean, come on, grizzly would never have an npc agree with chip about the "Millenium Chipper" being a better name than The Albatross if there wasn't something else going on. Grizz is also the type of dm to put foreshadowing in things that the npc says. Like how when Gillion Villian tells Felipe that he should come up with a villain name for himself and he decides to just make it his own name and change nothing. Obviously, that's just taken as a joke (as it should be) when it happens, but it's the kind of thing that you would look back on and be like "oh"
Also there was just something off about when Felipe talked about who he was planning on talking to when they got through the memoraze or whatever it was called. I might have just been overthinking since I was already convinced at that point, but I just really want to know who he actually talked to. There's just so many things about him that can be dismissed as a joke, but if you think about it harder it really seems like he's trying to hide something. Even the fact that he barely aged in the hall of illusions was weird but I can't think of something that would connect him to Niklaus other than the fact that, since one of Niklaus' magic items could age someone so quickly, maybe he can just Do Stuff like that. That might also explain the whole three days old thing though both of those things could just be explained by them being Strange Frog Things.
And all in all, he just seems too lovable, yet we know next to nothing about him and its just weird. And yes, I know that a lot of this was a stretch, but the brain sees what it wants to see and my brain wants to see that Felipe is evil because we can't have anything good ever.
Thank you for listening to my ted talk have a lovely day
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lilisouless · 9 months
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so, saw the total drama revival and in conclussion
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so worst to best
-Caleb like it says, hardly counts as a character and compared to Justin from Gen 1 his good looks gag wasn't used in a way thats as hilarious
-Chase , couldnt' wait to see him go. He is a jerk , sometimes its so much of a jerk its amusing so he wasn't unbereable to watch but it really bothered me that him and emma getting back together was his ending and have the feeling they were trying to frame him as a lovable idiot sometimes (sometimes, its pretty ambiguous) and he is not lovable at all
-Ripper is disgusting i hated his fart jokes , he is not under Chase because some parts where he revealed how mistreated he was by his family were kind of clever and amusing, very dark humor but kind of funny how casually he says so
-Emma may actually be my least favorite, how her character always go back to be defined by Chase was eye rolling , exasperating, i think she had potential but got boring lately, which is sad because she was actually competent
Next characters i actually like
-Nichelle was simple ,had a short subplot and went home. I still like how she was nice to the other contestants despite being vain and actually tried on her last two challenges (even getting over her breakdown)
-Axel was too unfairly voted off, i would have kicked Ripper out of the ship too, also had funny bits on the finale. She is better than G1 Eva
-I don't actually like MK as a person but i think she was used good, other seasons would have completely waste her, her whole ploy was good drama fuel, i kind of like overall that the characters are less high school stereotypes and more parodies of people you would actually see on a reality show
-Same with Millie, she was (kind of the point) not quite a good person or a good friend to Priya but it made sense and was used pretty good. I would have wished her elimination and the finale were separated episodes so her apology was more efective on Priya
-Wayne and Raj were kind of adorable, sure a parody of dumb teenagers , but this guys are good kids.
-Zee was nice, too dumb for his own sake but nice
-Scary girl , i actually don't mind her being eliminated too soon, she not only deserved that but she was a clear comic relief and was retired gloriously so her jokes won't get all. She was funny and did what her character was meant to do
-Damien was kind of a nice subversion, i asumed he would trow away the challenges to get eliminated and be as useless as Dave G3 but susprisingly got out of his way to not being a load and saved his team once. Also his whole thing about not knowing what the show was about was funny.
-Bowie would be in best contestants but i feel that there was some of a lack after the first episodes and didn't came back until later , still pretty smart, like his ambition and calculating nature. Makes a really good villain that is actually likeable
-Priya deserved the win, i wish there was some come around on her parents´s abuse but maybe that will be on season 2. She is everything people think Courtney was, she is actually good both on the competition and a good person, not to say the most sympathetic so the win is satisfying
-Julia was a nice surprise. I normally hate cartoonishly evil mean girls (hey, Heather evolved!) but she actually compensanted by being one hell of a good competitor, you have to respect this girl. Also from a narrative point, her overconfidence was both her biggest strenght and herbiggest weakness, thats the best narrative out there...too good for total drama honestly.
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burnin0akleaves · 2 years
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maddie for character impression (get well soon king)
Going to power through this ilness just because you told me to now, I can't not do it. (Thank you)
First impression: Again, hazy memories, but pretty sure I was annoyed by her at first. I didn't hate her, but the scene with Jenny? Yeaah I was with Will on that one.
I warmed up to her pretty quickly after that, and seeing that she was actually deeply insecure and felt the need to prove herself won me over. I put myself in her shoes the whole book, and Maddie ended up being braver than I would be every single time. I remember being EXTREMELY stressed at the part where Will has to stay back and Maddie has to get the kids to safety alone, because I just thought about how horrifying it would be to have that much responsibility on my shoulders and to be forced to make decisions on my own without Will's guidance.
Proud to say that it has been quite a few years since then and that I would be able to handle a situation like that better now, but middle grade Howls was extremely impressed by Maddie.
Impression now: I love her! Maddie has so much depth to her and I think she is a great character. Has her mother's spirit, her father's wiseness and her uncle's willpower. Like, think about it for a second, the girl is literally surrounded by all the legends of Araluen. You bet your ass she will grow up to have the best parts of all of them.
Favourite Moment: Already talked about the part where she has to take charge in book twelve and how that had a big effect on me, but I also need to talk about the scene where she is forced to kill for the first time. I love that she didn't cower away in fear or kill in cold blood. She was faced with an extremely scary situation for a child, a man breaking into your room in the middle of the night to threaten you into silence, but she managed to control her fear and defend herself. The scene where Will comforts her and tells her how brave she was is extremely sweet, I'm glad that she got to be comforted like that.
Also the entirety of the Red Fox Clan duology? Her taking complete control of the situation in Escape From Falaise and dueling that one knight alone? VERY badass. I really hope her story continues.
Idea for a story: I want Araluen, and maybe the whole world, to face another crisis. Maybe something supernatural and world-ending. It starts from when Maddie is a ranger and at some point in the story she has to take charge of the entire kingdom as queen as well. She has her family to support her obviously, but none of them are in their prime anymore. At the end, she has to face the enemy herself, alone. I have bits and pieces of scenes floating around in my brain for this but nowhere near a full story, so thats all you're getting.
Unpopular opinion: People that hate Maddie but love Horace and Cassandra are complete hypocrites. She has great character development, and is a genuinely lovable character. Her growth isn't any less realistic than her parents, some people just hate TRR and pick it apart to find every single thing to complain about.
Favorite relationship: Will and Maddie. I love watching the royal family be together as well, but the uncle/niece relationship has a special place in my heart.
And when it comes to romantic stuff, I'm glad Maddie doesn't have a love interest forced into the plotline. Leaves room for queer headcanons and just... lets the girl be herself. You don't need to be in a relationship with someone. I do wish she got to make more friends, but I also understand why she really wouldn't get to. Being the princess and Will Treaty's apprentice at the same time doesn't really let you relax and socialise. I'm glad she has Ingrid at least, and I hope we'll get to see more of her at some point.
Favorite headcanon: Cassandra doesn't get to use her sling anymore as queen, but she is too sentimental to throw it away. When it becomes obvious that she won't get to use it again, she gives it to Maddie. The sling is very old and Maddie would never replace the weapon she is used to, let alone use her mother's sling that went through so much, but she holds on to it.
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alexisomnias · 3 months
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— "DO YOU THINK WE STAY TOGETHER IN EVERY UNIVERSE?" . . . | twst
⤷ their thoughts on eternal love
featuring the OVERBLOT BOYS
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RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
“i hope so…”
Riddle wishes he knew if you two were just as happy in another lifetime as this one. What if you hated each other? Despised? Fell out of love? What if you fall out of love in this one? Oh so many thoughts for just one person, one person he wants to love in every lifetime. How he hopes you love him like this in every universe, he can’t imagine one where he would despise you.
He looks over at you and smiles, "I'm quite happy with you in this one." your laugh and positive response has his heart throbbing, he takes a sip of his tea. 
Little does he notice are the beautiful white and red roses blossoming beside you.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
“I hope not.”
No lifetime is the same, what if in another one he got you killed? He could never live with himself if he would’ve. He cant imagine his life without you, but he hopes for you to never go the pain that is him, that you never have to work that hard just to be loved back again.
Leona shuts his eyes with a groan, "just be happy I love you in this one." you laugh shaking your head. He doesn’t open his eyes, keeping his head adverted, instead his tail wraps around your leg in a slow and precise motion, speaking in volumes.
two rogue cats pass by strutting next to you both. You point it out with a smile as Leona turns his head with a grunt.
AZUL ASHENGROTTO
“let’s not think about that.”
Azul immediately shuts down the thought, not because its a bad one, no in fact he’s excited by the idea, but its because he cannot confidently say yes. He isn’t the epitome of lovable, and he isnt exactly a catch… he also almost killed you.
In another universe, lifetime even, he could’ve killed you right then, over petty insecure reasons. Then you two would’ve never been able to share kisses and words of love. He can’t confidently say you’d love him in every universe and form. 
In the aquarium of the lounge two fishes of beautiful colors swim by you both side by side.
JAMIL VIPER
“No… I dont think so.”
Jamil says honestly. In another universe the chances of you meeting are very slim, neverless the chances of him avoiding killing you. He likes to think this is the luckiest universe he could have, but deep down he wonders if theres a universe where he loves you freely.
He’d like that, he thinks staring over at you, he’d like to love you free and unbound from the strains that keep him in the Scalding Sands. He’d like to love you in another universe, one where he’s free to love you how he wants, how you deserve.
Past the both of you, two beautiful snakes slither by, blending in with the gorgeous sands of Scarabia.
VIL SCHOENHEIT
“I love you in this one, thats all that matters.”
Vil isn’t as entertained at the idea of other universes as you are. He loves and thrives in this one, he’s happy enough in this world with you so he doesnt have to think about it. To him, no world can be better then this one, if they do exist.
Maybe, in other universes, you two havent even met, maybe your dating someone other then him, vice versa. But theres really no way for him to know, now, is there? Not that it matters to him. He’ll love you with his whole heart here by your side. 
Next to him, he smoothes is brush out on the pallet, the eyeshadow he takes from being “Husband” next to pallet “Wife”.
IDIA SHROUD
”you’re crazy…”
he spits out embarrassed. Your getting into the multiverse theories now too huh? twisttok got you too…. don’t get him wrong.. he’s not exactly… against the idea.. its just, you want to love him in other universes too..? Or are you just saying that too tease him… ugh! Don’t get him involved in this kind of theories!!
despite the insulting thoughts, the tips of his hair are pink and he’s resisting the urge to chew his finger nails in embarrassment. How embarrassing! Lets just!! Continue the game!! he urges, eyes adverted as you laugh, your avatars, a couple in the in game universe, run side by side.
MALLEUS DRACONIA
”I’d make sure of it.”
Malleus has no doubt you guys fall in love in every universe out there. He has so much love for you in this one alone he’s sure it could pass on to any alternate versions of him, and if there is one where he doesn’t he believes them to be an absolute disgrace to his name. 
If there was a universe where he didn’t love you, didnt want to spend the rest of your years by your side? His cool, large hands slip in with yours. A kiss planted on your forehead.
In the sky above you both, the moon and sun stare across the sky.
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sneezydarliing · 8 months
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HI. hypmic anon im back hello. Sorry in advance for the long ass scroll of text DHDHSB. I dont think you can even begin to understand how RABID your reply made me im giggling kicking my feet rn. Its canon TO ME!!!!! ALL OF IT!!! (well almost all of it bc i dont think ramuda would keep the gifts especially if they would get in his way bc hes a dick. And i love him for it. Fake ass bastard <3) no fr he "has to be in control" are you trying to kill me genuinely. Genuine question
scenarios are. Oh gosh okay i love. Control. I want to crush him like a bug i NEED to see him crack so i dont really care too much about the cause but GOSH having to power through a shitty (emotionally and physically) day WITH the added pressure of a whole ass fake persona on top of everything else. Soooo delicious to me. Anything with him just being surrounded by people especially FANS and having to keep up the /everything/ while just wanting to be anywhere else...... im SO sick of this guy i hate him
Also also okay listen dont judge me TOO much here but i. Am coming. From the anime adaptation i KNOWWW I KNOW thats like a cardinal sin or whatever but listen i dont know enough jp to go beyond like, the first few cd dramas and i DEFINITELY dont know enough to tackle the drb game (can we have a localization im actually on my knees begging) and i did catch up on a few of the cd dramas but i never got to dh and bat.... But the anime did just get to them. Dh seem very. They seem very. (<- a person who got into hypmic bc they saw art of sasara and thought they would like him)
ANYWAYS. That is to say i might not know them too well YET but I WILL STILL!! CONSUME ANY AND ALL HYPMIC CONTENT!!! So rest assured there is an audience (albeit small) and also im gonna shout out the anime adaptation omw out bc listen that shit is so fucking bad its so funny. Who greenlit them for a second season im crying
To finish this word dump off, i will offer up another little scenario for matenro which im gonna assume are the mtr in your tags (and sorry in advance if its a typo and you meant mtc and im just being dumb) specifically some domestic hifudo bc i still CANNOT believe they canonically live together like are you kidding me. Anyways im putting peak himbo hifumi out of commission bc of some virus that has been going around in his workplace. And doppo is fucking fighting for his life bc hifumi always does all the housework and cooking (CANONICALLY. im never getting over these two) and 'oh my god what does a sick person even need like are you joking ive never taken a sick day in my life and you expect me to take care of another person????' Ft jakurai on doppos speed dial trying to calm him down bc its really not that bad
HELLO AGAIN!!!!!!!! holding this so dear omg...
You are so right in all of it !!!! Admitidly I like DH bc they're very silly. Thr anime id so bad but i hold it so dear bc so is the game. Hypmic at its essence is just. Lovably terrible.I was lucky enough to be able to read a lot of the manga when slug still had it up so I do know a lot more more than the anime puts out !!! The anime is silly though love it
I really wish they'd come out with an arb eng but bcuz there's not many western fans my hopes aren't high 😔
ALSO I love that scenario so much... domestic hifudo is so dear to me I love them so much. Hifu being taken care of for once instead of bring the one that always takes care of others they make me emotional
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blueteamtexas · 1 year
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its not just the fanbase that treats caboose like that, its the show. none of the writers ever gave cabooses's mental struggeles any of the gravity that wash's had, caboose being 'an idiot' is kind of his main joke, and that sucks! and so i feel like this fan response is kinda like, obvious almost? the show never treats caboose with any real seriousness at least not in regards to this, so most of the fandom wont either. im not disagreeing that its terrible, i wish caboose was treated with more kindness by the community, but its almost definately the writers fault first and formost, its not just contained to the fan wiki (also a little thing that wash's brain damage occured when the show was leaning heavier on the war drama side, whearas caboose's was when it was 100% a comedy, so theres a bit of difference there too)
the fan wiki says that they scripted Caboose’s decline into ‘stupidity’ before any of the assumed causes occurred (three ai, drinking gasoline for years, etc) , which is the only reason i can imagine the crew continued to ignore it, even as the characters and the show itself evolved (thankfully leaving the r slur behind). Other people have noted it, but by s15 Caboose is treated a lot better by the other Reds and Blues, especially Tucker. (‘Dont scare Caboose, Sarge.’ ‘Get that gun off my teammate, redneck!’ etc) But making fun of Donut’s femininity is a gag they were running just as long, so I’m thinking its literally bc RT just doesn’t see it as a consequence of brain damage.
The fanbase in general loves Caboose! But fanbases also dont have the best track record for infantilizing or critical thinking, so i wouldnt say its all coming from the same place. Not that thats a crime or anything, bc hes a lovable character regardless. But everything about Caboose screams neurodivergent, and so many of us identified with him, so to see that wiki was awful. Ive never seen anyone in this fanbase actively downtalk him so much as ignore him completely. Still, it doesnt take a genius to realize everyone is mean to Caboose, and it only occurred to me after reading that wiki that maybe some people never felt bad for how he was being treated. Thats enough to turn my stomach.
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carry-on-little-bat · 3 years
Text
Daily (morning & evening) journaling prompts and positive affirmationals
(Feel free to add your own)
.
MORNING JOURNALING PROMPTS
○ - my song of the day is ...
● - the best thing that happened yesterday was ...
○ - the worst thing that happened yesterday was ...
● - one thing i am greatful for is ...
○ - one thing i accomplished yesterday was ...
● - one goal for me to accomplish today is ...
○ - I have been self harm free for ...
● - yesterday I learned ...
○ - I want to survive today because ...
● - my anxiety on a scale of 1-10 is ...
○ - my depression on a scale of 1-10 is ...
(OPTIONAL) - to do list
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MORNING AFFIRMATIONS
● - i am valuable even when I am not productive
○ - I am lovable and worthy of love
● - i am needed even if I feel worthless
○ - i am not my depression/anxiety, I am not losing myself by recovering
● - i can feel my emotions, recognize them, and let the negative ones go
○ - My voice is worth hearing and I have valuable things to say
● - i deserve food regardless of my weight or if I think i have "earned it"
○ - i can take things one day at a time, or one hour, or one minute, or even one second at a time if thats all i can manage. i am not in a rush.
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EVENING JOURNALING PROMPTS
● - my predominate emotion today was ...
○ - I felt like that because ...
● - today for self care I ...
○ - Something that made me happy today was ...
● - Something that upset me today was ...
○ - I did (not) accomplish my goal of ... today (because ...)
● - I feel ... about (not) accomplishing my goal today (because ...)
○ - something I wish I had done today was ...
● - something that gave me anxiety today was ...
○ - I did (not) have self harm urges or suicidal thoughts today (because ...)
● - my anxiety on a scale of 1-10 is ...
○ - my depression on a scale of 1-10 is ...
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RANDOM OPTIONAL JOURNALING PROMPTS
▪︎how motivated am i to change my life for the bettet
▪︎What color do i feel like today, why?
▪︎hat was the most peaceful moment during the day
▪︎ Did I stop yourself from doing something I enjoy today? If so, why?
▪︎ what is a personal value I aspire to fulfill today?
▪︎ List 5 short term SMART goals
▪︎ list 10 things you love about yourself
▪︎ write down a childhood memory, how did it make you feel?
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