#i think everyone should get a sword when they turn 20
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My friend gave me a Real Sword for my birthday I've reached peak lesbian
#he had an extra one that was too heavy for cosplay so he just gave it to me#i think everyone should get a sword when they turn 20#i feel so powerful#ramblies
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A general cane guide for writers and artists (from a cane user, writer, and artist!)
Disclaimer: Though I have been using a cane for 6 years, I am not a doctor, nor am I by any means an expert. This guide is true to my experience, but there are as many ways to use a cane as there are cane users!
This guide will not include: White canes for blindness, crutches, walkers, or wheelchairs as I have no personal experience with these.
This is meant to be a general guide to get you started and avoid some common mishaps/misconceptions in your writing, but you absolutely should continue to do your own research outside of this guide!
This is NOT a medical resource!!! And never tell a real person you think they're using a cane wrong!
The biggest recurring problem I've seen is using the cane on the wrong side. The cane goes on the opposite side of the pain! If your character has even-sided pain or needs it for balance/weakness, then use the cane in the non-dominant hand to keep the dominant hand free. Some cane users also switch sides to give their arm a rest!
A cane takes about 20% of your weight off the opposite leg. It should fit within your natural gait and become something of an extension of your body. If you need more weight off than 20%, then crutches, a walker, or a wheelchair is needed.
Putting more pressure on the cane, using it on the wrong side, or having it at the wrong height can make it less effective, and can cause long term damage to your body from improper pressure and posture. (Hugh Laurie genuinely hurt his body from years of using a cane wrong on House!)
(some people elect to use a cane wrong for their personal situation despite this, everyone is different!)
(an animated GIF of a cane matching the natural walking gait. It turns red when pressure is placed on it.)
When going up and down stairs, there is an ideal standard: You want to use the handrail and the cane at the same time, or prioritize the handrail if it's only on one side. When going up stairs you lead with your good leg and follow with the cane and hurt leg together. When going down stairs you lead with the cane and the bad leg and follow with the good leg!
Realistically though, many people don't move out of the way for cane users to access the railing, many stairs don't have railings, and many are wet, rusty, or generally not ideal to grip.
In these cases, if you have a friend nearby, holding on to them is a good idea. Or, take it one step at a time carefully if you're alone.
Now we come to a very common mistake I see... Using fashion canes for medical use!
(These are 4 broad shapes, but there is INCREDIBLE variation in cane handles. Research heavily what will be best for your character's specific needs!)
The handle is the contact point for all the weight you're putting on your cane, and that pressure is being put onto your hand, wrist, and shoulder. So the shape is very important for long term use!
Knob handles (and very decorative handles) are not used for medical use for this reason. It adds extra stress to the body and can damage your hand to put constant pressure onto these painful shapes.
The weight of a cane is also incredibly important, as a heavier cane will cause wear on your body much faster. When you're using it all day, it gets heavy fast! If your character struggles with weakness, then they won't want a heavy cane if they can help it!
This is also part of why sword canes aren't usually very viable for medical use (along with them usually being knob handles) is that swords are extra weight!
However, a small knife or perhaps a retractable blade hidden within the base might be viable even for weak characters.
Bases have a lot of variability as well, and the modern standard is generally adjustable bases. Adjustable canes are very handy if your character regularly changes shoe height, for instance (gotta keep the height at your hip!)
Canes help on most terrain with their standard base and structure. But for some terrain, you might want a different base, or to forego the cane entirely! This article covers it pretty well.
Many cane users decorate their canes! Stickers are incredibly common, and painting canes is relatively common as well! You'll also see people replacing the standard wrist strap with a personalized one, or even adding a small charm to the ring the strap connects to. (nothing too large, or it gets annoying as the cane is swinging around everywhere)
(my canes, for reference)
If your character uses a cane full time, then they might also have multiple canes that look different aesthetically to match their outfits!
When it comes to practical things outside of the cane, you reasonably only have one hand available while it's being used. Many people will hook their cane onto their arm or let it dangle on the strap (if they have one) while using their cane arm, but it's often significantly less convenient than 2 hands. But, if you need 2 hands, then it's either setting the cane down or letting it hang!
For this reason, optimizing one handed use is ideal! Keeping bags/items on the side of your free hand helps keep your items accessible.
When sitting, the cane either leans against a wall or table, goes under the chair, or hooks onto the back of the chair. (It often falls when hanging off of a chair, in my experience)
When getting up, the user will either use their cane to help them balance/support as they stand, or get up and then grab their cane. This depends on what it's being used for (balance vs pain when walking, for instance!)
That's everything I can think of for now. Thank you for reading my long-but-absolutely-not-comprehensive list of things to keep in mind when writing or drawing a cane user!
Happy disability pride month! Go forth and make more characters use canes!!!
#mobility aid#cane user#writing tips#writing advice#drawing tips#art tutorial#art tips#art reference#art resources#art help#my art#long post
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CHEST OF HOLDING
This is inherently improper use so do this at your own risk and please report any problems with me and Larian for everyone's sake.
Preliminary findings/Original post
So I've been collecting pretty chests in case there's housing later and one of the chests I've kept is the Chest of the Mundane from the Arcane Tower in the Underdark because it's pretty and I think it's funny sticking stuff in here.
Well because of all that I've been putting my chest collection in there and a minute ago I picked it up. Completely full of over a dozen other chests I was still able to pick it up.
It's magic not only makes things look like mundane items it also gives them their weight, making the Chest of the Mundane is the closest you can get to a bag of holding.
It has a base weight of 20lbs meaning the 227 loot items in there with over a 100lbs of weight was reduced to 36lbs.
"Proper" Use
Be careful when moving items. I have accidentally lost items while doing this and because it makes things things mundane they become hard to find after so be careful.
Save often. You don't need to save every time you use it use it but because of bugs I've discovered it's best to save regularly.
Don't be worried when selling. All the items in the chest should appear in the holder's inventory with the value of what it's disguised as, just moving them to the sell area will remove the enchantment and give them back their true price.
Recommended for Karlach. Because the chest has a base weight of 20 and will go higher I recommend having our girl Karlach or another character with a high carry capacity hold it.
Sell often. Because the weight will slowly go up as you loot sell when possible to keep from things getting out of hand.
Read and mind the warnings below. The warnings below are serious and there for a reason.
WARNINGS MUST READ
DO NOT EVER LOOT THE ENTIRE CHEST AT ONCE. This will at best bug out your inventory and as worse crash the game.
I fully believe Larian did not expect anyone to use the chest like this making any use of it in this way is inherently improper.
Do not fuck around with the chest. I do not know what will happen if you throw, destroy, sell, place or move the chest when full of random crap.
The chest isn't always right. Because this is inherently improper keep an eye on numbers like carry weight and mundane item value. These can be a warning that the chest might start bugging your inventory.
Verify file integrity. If things start acting weird don't be afraid to put the game down for a bit, verify your files, and take a break. Verifying takes 10-30 minutes for me, just make dinner, do your laundry, take a shower, clean your desk, it'll be ready when your done.
This has not been tested in multiplayer. I'm trying to talk my cousin into testing how it for me but until them it's a mystery.
Consider the risk. Cheesing the game like this is not without problems. Personally I'm a dumbass who sees this on the same level as modding outside Vortex or CursedForge when you have no fucking clue what your doing.
Soooo I started a new game a turns out the chest isn't doing the thing.
It will still bug out your game if you loot all so don't bother doing anything with it but going "hehe the sword is now a cup"
#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#larian studios#lae'zel#laezel#astarion#gale of waterdeep#bg3 gale#bg3 tav#bg3#wyll#tav#baldurs gate#shadowheart#baldurs gate 3#bg3 astarion#halsin#karlach#loot goblin
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If you like, (as I saw you indeed do, from an ask) De-ageing promts/asks? Consider THIS~!
Everyone always hitting our poor baby boy Tim with that De-Ageing! As though his puss ain't tight and assets perky! Rude! You know who SHOULD be hit?
>:Dc Bruce~
Because him and Ra's are once again going at it. Bruce is not blind and DOES NOT appreciate this man panting after his Son. Is he a hypocrite? Maybe. But he's still gonna punch Ra's about kicking his boy out a window and the various bits of leering.
They do the Traditional by now, Dramatic Heroic/Immortal Sword Fight near the pits.
Ra's makes A Comment(tm). Of what he'll do when Bruce is dead. Since Bruce has failed to join him, Talia failed to give him a Worthy Heir, and Tim proven... Interesting(tm).
Can't do SHIT without limbs, Ra's. Bruce sees red and tries to feed the fucker his own entrails. Very calm. Toooootally thinking clearly.
It was, rather predictably, a trap. But Bruce is a talented man. So now they're BOTH stabbed pretty badly. Very homo-erotic, which is also traditional. Because with Ra's of course it is. Regardless, Ra's has NOT survived this long just to die to Daddy "don't fuck my son".
Into the pits we both go!
Which? Honestly, he's been trying for YEARS to get Bruce to use. So he can see reason. Ra's can admit the irony.
They struggle. Are drowning. Healing. Still impaled. Break free of each other, even as they try to grapple each other into submission. Again, the homo-eroticism is thick enough to choke lesser men. All the while? The pits are healing.
The wounds, yes. But also everything ELSE. They ARE submerged after all. Ra's? Expects this. Bruce? No idea what's coming.
He drags Ra's blade free of his body and breaks surface. Pit furious and seeing green. Damn near baby faced, at JUST under 20.
Turns out taking care of your body means there's less to "Fix". Self destructive Missions come back to bite him once again. But? Shit. Ninjas. Pouring in to help a fresh faced Ra's. Late 20s and in his prime once more. Damn it!
This isn't over, he growls.
Does NOT like the amused way Ra's is smirking.
One fight out and a stolen jet later? Bruce gets to stare in horror at his Twink-ification. Half his sons are physically OLDER then him. There is no way in hell he can hide this with make up. Luckily, it's Gotham.
He stages a kidnapping of himself. "Unknown chemical agent" combined with the INFAMOUS Gotham bay water. Clark, pretending to be him (once he's done laughing) goes in, Twink Bruce comes out.
People believe it.
Brucie Wayne is too dumb to make this up, after all. And stranger things have happened. Once cleared by the hospital? He heads home.
Now what.
He LIKED his Dilf status. His "silver fox in the making". He didn't have to "date". Booze it up or party. He was FREE damn it. He sulks. Jason and Dick are laughing at him.
Tim let's him hide in his office. Starts crafting "new lease on life" PR campaigns. They are, unfortunately, going to have to attend a Fad Pilates-Yoga-Samba Fusion Dance class. He's so sorry.
It's awful.
What's WORSE?
Is he forgot how HORNY he was at this age. It Does. NOT. Stop. Just an endless stream of wanting to thrust and fuck and lick and suck and-. It literally keeps him up at night! Even after patrol! And Selina? She won't touch him with a ten foot pole.
He's "an infant".
Call her when he's fixed.
He ALMOST considers some of the girls in his god awful class. But then they open their mouths and say some of the most soulless, casually cruel, things he's ever heard. And THAT reminds him he has standards.
He manages to find NICE ones, but then THEN start talking? And good lord, they are BABIES. Where are their fathers and why have they failed these wonderful young ladies? Have a college fund. Bruce is your father now.
And STILL horny.
Possibly in hell.
He tells this, even though he probably shouldn't, to Tim. Rants really. Because Tim let him hide again. Brought him coffee and dinner. And? Frankly? TIM is reasonable! Bruce wouldn't BE in this situation if he could find even a SINGLE woman like him!
And Tim watches Bruce pace. Muscles rolling as he walks. Still in work out gear. Young, nearly his age, so hot Tim wants to choke himself on his... Well. Tim COULD point out the obvious. Fleshlights. Modern toys that Bruce could no doubt improve.
OR~ Tim could shoot his shot and go for glory.
......fuck it.
Witness Him.
Tim deliberately splays his legs. Sprawls, open and inviting. And muses, not looking at Bruce of course, if Bruce needs a Woman or just the right hole?
Bruce freezes. Because of course not. He's Bi AF, just REALLY want to fuck a... wait. Wait(tm). Bruce's brain starts punching out Options. Why Would Tim Ask That? He looks at Tim. His body language. Considers if he wants to ignore it or take this clear offer.
He's across the room and plucking the tablet from Tim's hands in a handful of strides. Naked. Now.
Young Bruce is the HORNIEST, NEEDIEST fuck you can imagine. Once you let him in? It's all over. You're gonna wake up to that morning wood pounding your puss. Spend breakfast, being his desert. As he eats you out. Humping your leg like a dog in heat. Gotta go to work? Well not before his good by fuckies! Needs to shoot his load nice and deep, so you know he loves you.
Visit you at the office. Finger fuck you at your desk. Worship your clit like he's trying to win a medal. When you finally can't concentrate any more? Pull you from your office chair and fuck you til you're a sloppy mess on the floor. Don't worry! He brought a plug so you won't mess the change of clothes he brought you! See you at lunch~!
And on and on and on. Because Bruce is physically in the horniest phase of his life, has his FULL Batman stamina, and? Realized almost IMMEDIATELY? Tim cuddles when he's well fucked and exhausted. And Bruce misses him.
So Bruce is gonna take advantage of the situation.
Can't drift away from me and go off to join some random hero team, if I'm the Best Dick Of Your Life. If your body craves me. You get so used to my constant fuckings, your day is incomplete without them~
Use my WORDS? Pshhhhh. No. I'm just going to use a seventy step plan to permanently tie Tim to me for life with my dick! Because I love him! This is a reasonable and well adjusted way for me to act, I'm gonna get such a good grade in Dad. Now if you'll excuse Bruce, he's gonna go fuck his son.
-🐼🐼🐼
!!! oh my god bruce getting deaged would be his worst nightmare ever- having to join 'new age' spritual things like something-yoga or eating some trendy new food because it aligns with his 'brucie' character- add that in to him not being able to fuck within any age group. his new '20 year old peers' are so incredibly immature and he can't fathom breaking his morality enough to fuck them and the older ones wont let him near them because THEY feel like creeps. so tim being the only logical choice left and bruce also being able to kill two birds with one stone by being able to 1. get off and 2. make sure tim stays close to him😭😭😭
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I understand people saying with 18 you aren't a real adult yet but... you are. I have the feeling mostly americans see 18 yo as 'children' still because a lot of stuff you can only do wth 21 there. In Europe you will be a full fledged adult and you will be treated like on. With 18 you can drink, you can drive, you will most likely be far enough in school to starts a career, depending on what you wanna do.
18 is grown up and the brain is developed enough to not make certain mistakes anymore. Not to forget that at first it was claimed she was 'freshly 18' when she was already 18 1/2.
People have to stop infantalizing grown up people. That's why Tommy turned out the way he is, cause people kept seeing and treating him as a child. Now that dude makes rape and necrophilia jokes because people keep saying 'he's basically still a child!'
No. Stop doing that. Let people take responsibilities as the adults that they are. With 18 you should know what is Sa and what not. You should know how you can ruin someone's whole life with making allegations like this.
If Caiti actually didn't know what she was doing, then she shouldn't be a Content Creator and stay off from the public image. She admitted she was there not to befriend people but to meet big creators and do networking. That's adult thinking.
Stop trying to push the morlas of 'she's not completely grown' on people who fucked up with something that someone with their age shouldn't fuck up with.
And I am saying that as a 18 year old myself btw. She KNEW what she was doing, she knewingly used terms that SA and rape victims use in her first stream, she knew she was getting drunk as well.
Sure the brain isn't completely developed yet, but enough to not do something like that
Ok here's some more anon thoughts on all of the age/alcohol talk
Honestly I understand everyone's points tbh. Like it's all a double-edged sword that applies to each 18 year old differently because I've seen some super independent, mature 18 year olds that have been living on their own for years, but also some veeery immature and sheltered ones that can barely function in the world. It all heavily depends on the situation imo
And as soon as alcohol is introduced, it immediately becomes 10x messier so yeah this situation is just very nuanced and I think everyone will feel a little bit differently about it based on their personal experiences at that age and I get that 100%.
Like I personally was a very mature and independent 18 year old but I know people who weren't and still act like children even into their 20s. It really varies person-to-person
#all of you guys are valid for your experiences and perspective based on those experiences#i want to be able to shed light on a variety of perspectives even if people dont agree with each other#just keep it respectful and we will be good#ask#anon#anti drummyache tag
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🤍, 🖤?
🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?
So this is gonna seem contradictory to my reblog of blorb's post; this is not intended to be read as a counter to it, but as a complement: Percy.
If I'm being honest, one of the things that kinda bothers me about C1 group fanart is when I see everyone else in the party at their fully developed state, like with their Vestiges and powerups and everything, and then Percy's out here...with Orthax. Whom he expelled from himself with a natural 20 wisdom save, for the record, in episode 35. He spent more time without Orthax than with him!
It is objectively true that Percy invented the gun knowing what harm it could do but did it anyway. He once permanently maimed an innocent boy because he wasn't giving the answers he wanted. He gave Grog a cursed sword and didn't tell anyone because he didn't want it to be his responsibility and he thought Grog could handle it. It is also objectively true that he expressed doubts about what he was doing even during the Briarwood arc and admitted he was scared of who he was becoming and outright asked the group to stop him if they thought they should. He publicly apologized to Desmond and admitted his wrong and assured him recompense in both money and job security. He participated in a resurrection ritual for a child he didn't know who got caught in the crossfire of a battle. He fought to provide the people of Westruun a safe haven in their city, while still encouraging people to leave if they wished, because he wanted to honor the fact that what they had built there was important to them.
I think Percy is one of those characters that people view as either a silly little Human Disaster™ or as Vox Machina's Token Evil Teammate (the audience who projected onto him as the Facts and Logic guy seems to have dissipated after it became clear that he was. very much not doing that), and neither of those things are true. When Laura remarked that she looked at Percy and said "I can fix him", it was very clearly a joke, but I think people take that seriously and think Vex is the only reason he's not Lawful Evil or something. (Taliesin once said that without Vex's influence Percy could potentially have turned out Lawful Good—Laura's reaction was "eugh".) Percy didn't believe he could EVER be worthy of Vex and never once intended to act on his feelings; the change in him between episodes 35 and 68 was because he personally chose to be better, over and over again—even through several instances of him having Fucked Up Big Time—for its own sake. His forgiveness of Ripley is what inspired Vex, and I don't think people acknowledge that enough.
🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?
I kind of alluded to this in the ship question but to be clear at the outset, I think Vax is a good person*, but I also think his flaws tend to be overlooked. He gets Soft Boy'd a lot, and while I don't think characters who operate on emotion are bad or stupid by default (my favorite superhero is Starfire), I think fandom tends to assume people who operate on emotion are good by default. Vax does a lot of reckless things that he's repeatedly called out for by everyone in the group, and he generally lets it roll off him because his metric for success is "but did you die". He saw a kid that he thought needed some tough love, and his first response was "bludgeon him over the back of the head and instantly knock him unconscious". He ran into a trap that nearly got Cassandra killed and never once apologized to her. He ran after Raishan and attacked, an action that actually did get Vex and Scanlan killed, and not only did he never apologize to them, he openly said in front of them that he didn't regret doing it (after being rightfully angry with Percy for getting Vex killed and having seen some proof that Scanlan might not be doing great!).
Like, to be clear, again, none of those things make him a bad person; I think overall he's a good person, and I think they're good character choices!* What I'm saying is that he has some genuine rough edges to him, and I think a lot of that gets ignored or sanded down in fanon to make him "the nice twin" or a perfect YA Hero love interest for a Keyleth who is being projected onto, and that simply isn't the character Liam played.
*I wouldn't normally put in that kind of good-person caveat—I don't think the end-all be-all is whether or not a fictional character is a good person—but a) this is a question about morality and b) some folks are weird about Liam.
unpopular opinions asks
#percy is someone who falls down over and over again because of HIS OWN flaws and bad choices and still gets back up to do the right thing#and i don't think i quite realized how much that resonated with me until now#cr meta#asks#percy de rolo#also STAN STARFIRE YOU DONT HAVE A CHOICE
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As time goes by | Chapter 1: A storm is coming
Pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Word Count: 3.5k
Masterlist | Next Chapter | AO3
“You’re a lifesaver; you know that, right?”
Eddie opens his door, kisses you on the cheek, and quickly takes your backpack, storming inside his trailer again. You are startled by his reaction - you know that today is campaign day, and he was worried about his DnD notebook left at his locker… and how happy he was when you offered to get it for him. Still, he was way more agitated than you expected.
His head appeared at the door frame again, with furrowed brows. “Hey, you are coming inside, or what?”. His eyes seemed worried, enough to bring you back to your senses. “Sure, I’m coming.”
As you enter the trailer, you notice that Eddie is nowhere to be seen. You assume that he is already in his bedroom. “Give me back the backpack, will you? I’ll cook you dinner, but I need the ingredients I brought.”, you ask him.
The trailer was a bit of a mess, and by seeing the blue mug at the kitchen sink, you knew that Wayne had already left for his shift at the plant - you wanted to cook him something before he left, but it seemed that you’d have to put his portion on the refrigerator.
“I hope you haven’t peeked at it! This new campaign is great, you will all love it. I’ve put a lot of research into it…” Eddie took out the bags from your backpack, leaving them in the kitchen for you while speaking about tonight’s campaign. As much as you wanted to read it, you knew that this would upset him, and you would find out later today at Hellfire anyway.
This was your Friday routine: you would stop by Eddie’s trailer to cook him something, have dinner together and later leave for Hellfire club to spend most of the night at the DnD campaign with him and the other boys. It was always contagious to see how excited Eddie was. His face always brights up when speaking about something he loves, such as the DnD club.
“We should get going, or we are going to be late. Would you help me bring this to the car?” he said while packing all the notebooks, dice, and maps; simultaneously, you widened your eyes and replied, “Edward Munson, please tell me that you are not hot-wiring cars again!”
His laugh echoed by the trailer. “So that’s what you think about me, sweetheart?” You feel that he is trying to change the subject. “You’ve done it before, Eds.”
“And you loved those rides as far as I remember…” Then, just as you opened your mouth to reply, he gently put his finger on it to make you stop talking.
“Don’t worry, I’m clean - I’ve fixed Finnegan’s car, and he agreed to borrow the car a few times, including today. So would you give me the extreme honor of your company, m`lady?” And he put up that large sweet smile that you love so much. So how could you argue with him this way?
It was a quick ride, and you both were able to get the room ready before the others joined. Everyone was just excited about the campaign as Eddie was. He then activated Dungeon Master mode, and you and the boys started the campaign.
Hours passed, and everyone was tense. Eddie was ruthless, and there was a new challenge at every corner, a new twist that would put your characters to the knees. Everyone was with low health points and on the verge of giving up. But you did not want to flee.
You could see in Eddie’s eyes that he loved that his campaign was merciless to all of you. He was ready to call it a night to continue next week when you announced that you would like to make a frontal attack with the sword.
“You would need to roll a 20 for that”, Eddie said. The chances were minimal, and your character would die with a miss. “I know; let’s proceed.” The other boys started complaining, trying to make you change your mind.
“Look, I’m out of health potions, and you are all busy healing yourselves, no one will be able to heal me for additional turns. So our best bet is me trying to get a hit here… in the worst-case scenario, I bought you all more time. But it will work.” Eddie gave you a sided-smile, handing you the dice and saying, “Bold move.”.
You throw the dice with all your hopes… and see that it lands with the big eight at the top. So far away from what you needed. Eddie gets up and screams, “THAT’S A MISS!”.
Some pats on your back cannot change the fact that the new campaign was brutal, and you tried your best but failed. However, it was fun anyways, so even though you lost the battle, everyone was smiling while packing and rethinking strategies for next week.
You two happily discussed the campaign in the car on your way back, mentioning your favorite parts and even thinking about some improvements. Eddie was proud of your overall performance; you were giving him a hard time; thankfully, he was well prepared and had options for many of your out-of-the-box ideas.
“Ok, I admit it. You were very creative today”. You could feel the pride in his voice, and he had a smile from ear to ear while saying that.
“More than you?” you risk saying.
“Know your limits.”, he replied, and you both started laughing. You love the sound of his laugh and how it seems to hug your heart and make all your worries disappear.
He then parks the car. You live at the trailer right in front of his, such a short distance, but he still sees you at your door.
“Today was fun, Eds, thank you.” Of course, every day you spend with him is always great, but you always thank him anyway; you are not sure if he realizes how much you enjoy spending time with him.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Morning shift tomorrow?” You are happy to see that he remembers your work schedule at Arcade.
“Yes… let’s meet at 2 pm?” You were working a lot recently, doing overtime whenever you could to get more money - but you still did your best to ensure you always had time to see him.
“Sure, I have only a couple of deals to do in the morning, and I’ll still be with the car. I’ll pick you up there. See you tomorrow!”. You watched him turn around and go back to his trailer. You had to admit that you would have liked it if he gave you another kiss on the cheek like earlier today... But, hey, where had this thought come from? You brushed off that thought and prepared to enter your home.
Your father was snoring on the couch. You could smell the cigarettes and see all the beer cans spread across the floor. The good news was that, as he was sleeping, he could not scream or fight with you for arriving late. You tried to clean as much as possible before taking a shower, and as you were getting ready to sleep, you quickly looked out the window, seeing that Eddie's room lamp was still on. You wondered what he was doing but were too tired to give much thought. “Good night, Eds,” you murmured while returning to bed.
It was another morning at The Palace Arcade. You had already cleaned the space, checked if everything was working correctly, and updated the lost and found item list, so now you just had to keep an eye on the kids playing. Suddenly, a drawing of a knight appeared in front of you, with a smiley Will behind it.
“Hey, Happy to see you! Let me see this…” You picked up the drawing to look closer. This time he drew the knight of Dragon’s lair, one of the arcade games. “This looks amazing, Will! You are giving me a hard time, aren’t you? Challenge accepted!” You have this little agreement with Will. Each week one of you will draw something and challenge the other to a new version of it, and then compare drawings.
“I’m sure yours will be amazing too! Jonathan wants to know if you are still stopping by tomorrow to help with his photos. I’ll ask him to get cookies for you if you do” - You and Jonathan were friends for a while, but after Will went missing, you got closer to Will and his friends too.
“Sure, I’ll be there! Where are the boys?” you ask, already handing him the arcade coins Jonathan had already paid for him yesterday. “They are coming. I’ll play a bit while waiting for them.” he then smiled and waved at you while going to check the machines.
“Hello, sunshine, spoiling our customers again?” said Ben in a cheerful voice. He will pick the afternoon shift, so you didn’t expect to see him there yet.
“Doing great! But I guess you have around 20 minutes of freedom before coming here…” you replied with a smile. Ben was always gentle with you, not only at work but also at school. He has moved to the city recently, and even though he usually hangs out with the basketball guys, he never bullies you as they do.
He leans on the counter, saying, “But I’m not coming to work early. I just thought that maybe you would like having someone to talk to… I mean, someone that is not a child, you know?”. You wanted to reply that you didn’t mind - The kids were always lovely to you, you have fun with them, of course not much as fun as you usually have with Eddie... You headshake your head, trying to take the thought about Eddie out of your head.
“I’m sorry, I guess you don’t want me here.”. Ben thought that when you headshaked, you were signaling that you didn’t want to talk with him.
“That’s not what I meant. Stay, let’s talk”, you say, touching his hand to stop him from leaving. He turns to you with a smile and something in his eyes…. Hope? You don’t know, but he doesn’t let you hold on to that for long as he starts talking, and the conversation flows.
“Yeah, and that’s why I was wondering if you would like to go out with me sometime…” You didn’t see it coming. You were not even sure you heard it right. “Sorry, you what?” You feared it might sound rude, but you needed him to repeat that.
“I-I asked you a question… do you want to go out sometime?”.
“Like a date?” - you had to clarify that.
“Y-yeah, like a date. What do you say?”
You hope your mouth is not wide open while trying to process everything. No boy has ever asked you out before. No boy has ever even looked at you as a potential date; Nancy had told you that it was just a matter of time or maybe a case of you paying more attention to your surroundings… you wondered what she would say when you told her about it.
“Sure, I’d love to!” You noticed you sounded a little too excited. Of course, you are not in love with Ben or anything… but he is a nice guy, so why not enjoy his company? And upon seeing how happy Ben was, it seemed the right thing.
“Friday night, at the diner, I need to close the arcade, but then I can pick you up at your house…” and you froze.
Ben didn’t know you lived at the trailer park, but you knew that he lived near the wealthiest side of the city. He probably wouldn’t like going to the trailer park… and your father would freak out when he sees you going out with a boy… and you don’t want to scare Ben with that.
“I’ll meet you here, I’ll help you close, and we can go together,” you quickly said, and Ben was happy with that.
The last minutes of your shift went by fast, and you were already on the sidewalk when Eddie pulled over. As you were walking towards the car, you heard him saying, “No, no, no…” while he was walking in your direction and opened the passenger door for you. “Please allow me to help you, m’lady” - you giggled and entered the car, waiting for him to join.
“Are you hungry? I made you a sandwich. Here, take it. There are more waiting for you back home. You won’t believe the wild dream I had last night…” and the ride home was mainly you eating while he told you about his dreams of slaying beasts, how his morning was and how much he had made from today’s deals.
Weekends and parties were always the best times for his business - you were not a big fan of him selling weed. Still, you also knew that there were not many opportunities for those from the trailer park, and his father's reputation also did not help Eddie in his attempts to find a job.
He opened the car door for you and quickly opened the trailer door, inviting you to enter. You noticed that things were organized and clean - he had a busy morning cleaning the trailer, as he mentioned in the car.
“I’m back home, sweetheart,” he said, taking his guitar when he entered his bedroom. You smiled, thinking how funny it was that the only two things he uses this pet name for are you and his guitar—two essential items in his life… or that’s what you would like to believe.
“I can’t wait to show you what I learned to play,” This was how your afternoon together started. You love to see him playing. He is really in his element, and, as always, he is performing as if he was live to millions of people… but it is a private show for you. And you would bang your head and sing along to the songs. It was always priceless - These were perfectly happy moments of your life, and you did not take them for granted.
He then puts his guitar back in place and picks up your drawing notebook and his dungeon master notes, lending them to you. “Would you please help me draw some new creatures? I’ll get us something to drink, be right back.”
Eddie could draw, but he always said that you were far better at it than him, and he used to explain to you what he wanted, then you did your best to translate it into the paper. You love to draw and paint; it is your form of expression - you would never be able to be theatrical as Eddie was, but if someone handed you a piece of paper and a pencil, you could draw the world.
He comes back into the bedroom, puts Iron Maiden to play, and starts telling you what he has in mind. Then, once you start drawing, he begins his campaign preparations, both of you working on your stuff but still stopping now and then, giggling when looking at each other, drinking a little before getting back to work.
“This is gonna be great; if you guys thought yesterday was hard, next Friday would be awesome”. Your heart dropped. Friday night. Hellfire. Your date. You completely forgot about it.
“I’m sure the guys will be prepared too… but they will love whatever is coming; they always do.” You were still thinking about how you were going to tell Eddie that you wouldn’t be there.
“And you too, I hope. Come on, sweetheart, I know your character was knocked out yesterday, but we can work this out.” Eddie senses that something is off, but he thinks you are still frustrated about how it ended yesterday.
“No need to worry about it. I won’t be there, one less person for you to torture” you try hard to sound playful, but your nervousness is apparent.
“What do you mean? Is your father trying to ground you again? We can handle this, you know, right?” He is looking straight at you with a worried look.
“No, that’s not it…” You don’t know what to say and can’t look Eddie in the eye. He is visibly anxious, raising his eyebrows, his way of asking, “What?”
“I-I c-can’t go… I have… a date” - the last word said no louder than a whisper. You are still not looking into Eddie’s eyes, but you can feel him getting up when he yells, “YOU WHAT?”
“Don’t be so mad, Eds… It’s just one night, and my character is already dead anyway.” you imagined that he would be upset, but he seems to be overreacting.
“So you killed yourself on purpose to skip Hellfire? To go on a date?”. Eddie felt betrayed. Everything was perfect, and now you were trying to prank him. It just didn’t make sense to him.
“I know it’s hard for you to think someone could see me as a girl worth taking on a date, Eddie, but it happened. And for the record, I didn’t kill my character on purpose, and you should know better than that.”, you scolded him. You wish he could feel how angry you are. You know how important Hellfire is for him, but you can’t understand why he is reacting that way.
“Who is him?” - He asked, curiosity pinching his brain.
“Ben, he works with me at the Arcade…” and before you could continue, Eddie interrupted you again, “He already spends hours with you there, and now here he is trying to take Fridays from us!!”
“Nobody is taking anyone from anything, Eds. It’s just a date. I thought you’d be happy for me!” - you were both still yelling, but now you also stand up and try to hold his hand in hopes that it would help him calm down, but he takes a step back… and it hurts you.
“I can’t be happy if you are so stupid and don’t see you making a big mistake. He doesn’t care about you, and he knows nothing about you. Does he know that you are part of the trailer park scum? Do you think that he will stick around? They don’t understand us, and they don’t want to be with us. He won’t want you.”
You could feel the tears bubbling inside you. Eddie’s words are hurting more than you thought was possible. So this is what he feels about you? If your best friend thinks that way, what chances do you have with the rest of the world?
“Y-you are wrong” Your head was spinning. It all seemed like a nightmare. You didn’t think that things would get as bad as they were getting.
“No, you are!! He is going to break your heart. Mark my words.” Finally, you just couldn’t bottle your emotions anymore, which was too much. “YOU ARE THE ONE BREAKING MY HEART RIGHT NOW” you yelled at him, tears flowing out of your eyes.
“Is that so?” He gasped and changed to a blank facial expression. “As I’m no good for you, I’ll keep my distance. Just don’t come back to me when he does break your heart, ok? I tried to warn you, but you just won’t listen. You made your choice. Deal with it… without me.”
It was too much to take in. Just a couple of minutes ago, you were smiling and having fun. How did it come to this? It just doesn’t make any sense. “Eddie, please…” you tried to say, still sobbing.
“You should go now.” Eddie said, looking down and pointing the way out. He doesn’t want to look at you anymore.
You pack your things and leave his bedroom. Then, holding the doorknob of his trailer front door, you look back - You still have a small hope that he would come and apologize, but he is still in his bedroom.
You go out, dizzy, concentrating on putting one step after another. You feel your trailer is miles away from his instead of just a couple of steps. When you enter your home and see that your father is not there, a wave of relief crosses your body. You just don’t have the strength to face your father today, not after that.
“Just a bad day, just a bad dream. Tomorrow, everything will be fine.” You say to yourself, hoping that it will come true.
Meanwhile, Eddie is looking out the window, seeing if you got home safely. When you closed your front door and were out of his eyesight, he turned around and punched the wall, making the knuckles on his hand hurt.
He sits at his bed, fingers passing on his hair as he tries to hold his head down when a scream leaves his mouth: “FUCK!”
Read next chapter
Notes: I've done my best, but as this is my first fic, English is not my first language, and this had no proofreading, there may be minor mistakes; feel free to highlight any of them in the comments so I can adjust - Feedback is always appreciated too
#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#fanfic#ao3 fanfic#eddie munson#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x female original character#eddie munson x female character#eddie munson fem!reader#eddie munson x female oc#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson angst#eddie munson fic#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson friends to lovers
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Am I the butthole (sorry I don't like swearing) for forgiving and becoming friends with a woman that was a part of an invasion on my home?
I (10, M) defeated an invasion that was turned my home into something different. After I destroyed a giant crazy machine that went rogue, my home turned back to normal.
Some time after everything was said and done, I then made up with the woman (20s, F) that was a part of the invasion. I'll call her S here.
I thanked S for giving me a robot to stop that crazy machine. I then forgave her and wanted to become her friend. S accepted my invitation in becoming friends, and we've been friends since.
But when people found out that I reconciled with S, I've been criticized for it. Some people in my home planet hate her for what she did. The two people in particular that were the most vocal about it were my friend wearing a blue bandana (12, M) and my mentor figure (33, M), and I'll call the latter M. They told me that I'm being too forgiving and that I shouldn't have became friends with S.
The thing is, M was turned into a robot during the invasion, and S was involved in that. I didn't like it when it happened, but it's over with now. He's back to normal now. He shook it off really quickly in the end. But he's still very mad at S, and although I can understand that, he thinks I made a poor decision in forgiving S. He thinks that S doesn't deserve to be forgiven by me, and some other people in my home planet agree with him. They think I should revoke the forgiveness that I gave her, but I don't want to do that!
I'm not going to try to make M stop being mad at S, but I don't agree with the criticism he gives me. I want to keep my friendship with S.
S did tell me she'd want to apologize to M, but currently hesitates to actually do so because she doesn't want to risk getting a sword to the face. I'll see if I can help her apologize to M, even I feel like he won't forgive her, but I think it'd at least be worth a try to have him know that S doesn't intend to be a threat ever again.
I can't deny that S did do bad things, but it's been done with now. She's not doing those bad things anymore! She doesn't mean harm anymore. She and I get along just fine as friends now.
And S has told me about her past, which is really sad. Her relationship with her dad has been strained for a very long time, and sadly her dad is now dead. I feel really bad for S. I even gave her a hug because I really felt like she could use a hug! I think she deserves to have friends, because she didn't have any friends for a long time.
I think S really did deserve the forgiveness that I gave her because she's been through so much. That tragic story was what even led to the invasion happening in the first place. Things are resolved now, and she's not bad anymore. I'm not going to change my mind in being S's friend despite some people telling me that I shouldn't have forgiven her. I don't want her to be even more sad by unfriending her!
But thankfully, not everyone disagrees with me. I have a few other friends that actually agree with me! The two examples I'll mention are a spider wizard (22, M) and an alien cat wizard that owns a big blue ship (25, M). They also forgive S and became her friends, too!
Apparently what S did was "too far" and that's why some people still hate her, despite her not being bad anymore. But I think it's okay now! The damage done to my planet isn't really present anymore.
S did tell me she wants to revive her dad's company, but she won't have it be in the same direction it was. She said she'll change it into a better direction that involves consensually helping people. I don't see a problem with that! She even told me that she'd give me a robot to ride around in once she gets those made again, because I missed using them. It made happy to hear that!
I suppose there's no use in changing the minds of the people that still hate her, but I don't think I'm being "too" forgiving. I think she really did deserve my forgiveness and I'm not going to revoke it.
Do you think I was perfectly fine to forgive S and become her friend, or do you agree with some of the people in my home planet in that her bad actions were "too far" and that I was being too forgiving to her as they think I shouldn't have been? AITB?
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JRWI EP 100 LIVEBLOG UNDER THE CUT FOR EXTRA SPOILER PROTECTION
"the journey begins, for the 100th time" "you bet your tiddies it does" JWJFJEJTJH
ohh they're having a good time something's gonna go horribly wrong
earl bbeg real
wetma gills
"words hard. me tired. me drunk." jay I love you jsjfjejf
enza gonna help jay make a new body for alphonze 👀
drey disconnected w/the group?
"the longer you're down there, the more it twists you" ohh that's not good. instantly worried about arlin.
"if arlin's still down there, it's because it couldn't." "that man had a big ol' heart, even that giant body couldn't fit it." DREYYYYYY
"Sometimes I think I should dive in there alone. But I know I'm not strong enough without them" CHIP. CHIP YOURE GONNA KILL ME.
chip and drey are gonna KILL me augh
"we're gonna go down there, and we're gonna bust him out. whatever happens happens. we'll survive. we always do." RRGHHDHHDG
AW GILLION JSHFJJEJGJFJF
"sometimes its good to be bad jay give me the word" LMAOOOOO
GILLION SOUNDS LIKE HES GONNA START CRYING BRO JSHFJDJ
QUEEN KSHFJDJDUW
WOOO DOWNTIME❗️❗️❗️
HES MAILING CASPIAN'S PRESENTS!!!!!!!!
"happy birdday! you can nae nae, but now you can... ;)" JSJFJDJG GILL
" 'Well, for you...' he gets lost in your eyes for a second" JWJFJSJGJEJJTJ
NAT 20 ON RIZZING RIZZ RIZZ
"EVERYONE now has cannons and healing potions except for ME!!!!!!!!" gill in his spoiled brat arc
NEW TITLE GILLION TIDESTRIDER RIZZ REVEREND
"We are so, so unbelievably wanted" "they WANT us"
TWO CANNONS AND ONE BALLISTA HELL YES????
ohh I love enza
forgot abt cliff hangar
IS HE RIZZING UP CLIFF???????
"To know the books, you need to have read the books, where the FUCK are the books, Jay???????"
GILL TRYING TO RIZZ UP CLIFF NOW
HES PLAYING ALONG??? JAY TRIED TO GIVE HIM THE GOLD AND HE STOPPED HER??????????
"A world that's turned it's back / it's seas be turned to black / the black sea is all that's left / history be put to rest / the survivors will rewrite it / fight on, fight on until united / hope our wrongs be righted / flee the black sea at last / free from it at last
why are gill and chip so down to flirt with people today jsjfjsjd
CAPTAIN FIVE O' CLOCK SHADOW JSIFJDJJF
CAPTAIN HENDRIX. TIEFLING. REGAL BUT RELAXED. IF THIS MFER ISNT NIKLAUS HES GOTTA BE RELATED TO HIM RIGHT
FINN TIDESTRIDER FINN TIDESTRIDER FINN TIDESTRIDER
the island of frozen roses ooh
ohhhh he just wrote about their journeys. ik its like obvious but that means so much to be actually.
OHHHHHHH OLLIES ROOM OH MY GODDDDDDD
OH FUCK OFF HES GIVING HIM ARLIN'S COIN OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
BIZLY YOURE GOING TO KILL ME IM GOING TO DIE BIZLY THIS IS SO NICE
"even when you are old and decrepit, you will always be our small boy, who we keep on the ship, and in our hearts" thank you gill
chip don't grill her about this now godddd.
CAPTAIN SHADOWBEARD IS OLLIES DAD
bellamy. oh bellamy. im so sorry.
captain shadowbeard was the last pirate lord that went missing ohhh my god. it was a year ago. and when ollie went missing months later. oh my god this poor woman.
"You guys are gonna get attacked tonight" grizz ik you're joking but I don't fucking trust you at all
ALPHOZE ALPHONZE ALPHONZE
DANGER INCOMING???
THEY JUST LEFT THE ISLAND
KIRA I LOVE YOU BUT NO
JAY YOURE GONNA BOARD THEIR SHIP????
THERE HE IS. FUCK OFF JAYSON GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY
Gillion what are you planning 👀
"jay who did you see" "oh just my father and kira you know" "oh"
THE SWORD IS IN HIS FUCKING CHEST STILL LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
DREY PANICKING LMAO
FUCK OFF JAYSON FUCK OFF JAYSON FUCK OFF JAYSON FUCK OFF JAYSON FUCK OFF JAYSON
YOOOOOOOOOO GILLION CLUTCH??????
GILLION CLUTCH GILLION CLUTCH
JAYSON YOU CHEATING BASTARD
HELLO PIXEL ART THIS IS SO COOL?????????
CHIP DONT LEAVE THEM????
DONT FUCKING LAUGH LIKE THAT GRIZZ
gillion less clutch than expected.........
alphonze is gonna die again bro they JUST got him back! AND the boat!
Gillion absorb elements pog
QUEEN JSHFJDJFJFH LOVE YOU
thank you alphonze we love you alphonze <3
USING THE WHALEBONE SWORD TO CAST SPELLS ON JAYSON????
jayson I hate you smile
TRAP HIM IN THE FUCKING MIRROR JAY GET HIS ASS
GET HIS ASS JAY GET HIS ASS
"You could be found innocent, by the way" "not for what I'm about to do :)"
MOTHER MOON JSJFJDJ
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT GILL ISNT SCARED OF JAYSON ANYMORE❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️
GILLION CLUTCH ONCE AGAIN
MOTHEFUCKER HAS LEGENDARY ACTIONS I FORGOT
HE STOLE JAY'S BRAND BRO
"DAMN looks like you're as good a shot as you are a PARENT" "your quips only seal your fate" "damn, were you already burning?" gillion tidestrider I love you
"Your fighting is meaningless, for your gods have fallen" HELLO JAYSON WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???? IM NOT MOVING ON FROM THIS DID THE ARTIFICIAL LEVIATHAN PLAN WORK??????? ARE YOU JUST PSYCHING GILL OUT?????????????
YOOOOO GRYFFON MVP FOURTH CAPTAIN
"If they miss, I will roll to hit gillion"
CANNON #1 HITS JAYSON FUCK YES QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!
EARL FUCKING WHIFS IT
gets harpooned in the ass and stabbed further in the chest sjfjeh
gill is so fucking funny engaging w/jayson lmao
"she's a BIRD are you PROUD OF HER YET? she has WINGS and they're COOLER THAN YOURS and they generate more LIFT" gill hyping up jay to her dad my beloved
makes eye contact with a fucking wizard. drops disguise and said "aight you handle these monkeys I got shit to do"
isn't the whole crew on the ship? or does grizz just mean on top deck
gryffon I love you
RETURN OF 5 FT GILL
HOLY SHIT?????? 10 FT TALL THUNDER GOD GILLION
YOU MOTHEFUCKER???????
NAT 20 DEX SAVE FROM GILLION HOLY SHIT HE DESERVES THIS❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️ GILLION ON THAT KING SHIT TODAY
ANOTHER SHIP????
MARSHALL JOHN THE GRANDBERRY PIRATES MY FUCKING BELOVED
"IF YOU KILLED MY GODS HOW IS MARSHALL JOHN RIGHT HERE?!"
PROPHETIC SCREW UP STRIKES ONCE AGAIN
CASPIAAAAAAN
"YO IS THIS GUY FUCKING BOTHERING YOU?!" LOVE YOU LIZZIE
"I can deal with that later. But right now, you're attacking my friends. And I can tell you have no intention to spare them. So I'll give you the same treatment back. So you're gonna attack me, or...I'm gonna take you down." JAY JAY JAY JAY JAY JAYYYYYY
APPLY HUNTERS MARK BY PUNCHING HIM IN HIS UGLY ASS FUCKING FACE GET HIS ASS GET HIS ASS GET HIS ASS
"I thought you said next time you saw me, I wouldn't be your daughter anymore." "Now that I've seen how much you've changed, I mean it" go fuck yourself jayson <3
GRYFFON WAIT GRYFFON ARE YOU OKAY GRYFFON IF YOU DIE I WILL LOSE MY MIND
GILLION HEAL YOURSELF FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
GRIZZ IF YOU FUCKING KILL GILL AGAIN ISTG
GILLION HEAL YOURSELF
"if Jay's still fighting, I am too."
"Nice try, but Ollie's mom was way more pissed 😎"
lizzie??? did you??? did you actually kill ava or are you surprised???
GILL GOING CRAZY WITH THE NAT 20s
"It's okay I can dodge it!" the mentality of the episode
JSJFJSJF HE ABANDONS SHIP WITH THE WIZARD HES TAKING THE WIZARD HES A FRIEND
I fully believe lizzie didn't kill ava actually. don't believe jayson at all fuck this guy
If Gryffon is dead. If Gryffon is dead.
GILLION. GILLION ASKING JAY IF SHE CAN DO THIS. GILLION SUPPORTING JAY THIS WHOLE EP. RRRRIVHFGR IM GONNA DIE
gillion: just let me know where you need me. And I'll be there.
jay: right now you're right where you need to be. thank you.
gillion: aye aye, captain.
MARSHALL JOHN SOLOS
john and gill immediately going bro mode jsjfjsj
don't make me feel bad for jayson. I won't do it. piece of shit.
GILLION. IF YOU DIE.
GOES DOWN PROTECTING JAY GILLION YOURE GONNA KILL ME.
THE NAVY HAS GRYFFON
THANK YOU JAY THANK YOU JAY THANK YOU JAY
"You keep saying that people took me away from you. No one took me away from you, dad. You haven't had me for a long time. You lost me. You lost me in the lies, the training, your obsession with your work, it was all you cared about. Things change, dad. After ava died, you weren't there. You weren't there for me or for mom. And when I tell you we hurt, we struggled, I say we hurt and struggled so goddamn much. And I'm sure you did too, but you made it so goddamn clear where your priorities lied with the family. And in my grieving, you were the only one who wasn't there. Jayson Ferin, you are someone I've known my entire life. You've known me longer than I can remember, and maybe I've made decisions that you don't agree with, but they are my decisions, and I would've hoped that in the years you've known me, that you would give me even a modicum of trust, a modicum of what I saw in you my entire goddamn childhood. And now, you stand here in front of me again, you're making the same mistakes... You don't get to just take me back, you need to earn it. And the way it stands, you're on a fast track to lose both me, and your wife. You are the strongest man I've ever known but you are a fucking pathetic father. So come on. Go ahead, finish it, do your fucking job, if that's where your priorities still lay, as they always have."
persuasion with advantage and dm inspiration. so deserved holy shit jay. i am. speechless.
"For the first time in my life, since I became a pirate, I was able to feel free."
get the fuck OUT of here jayson go AWAY
jayson I'd ask why you don't fucking ask may yourself but I don't want you anywhere near her :)
thank fucking god hes gone.
"that's my boy right there, that's my BOY, I'm on your ass, I'm like glue on something that glues on" "this is the beginning of something, this is the beginning of a whirlwind of whoopass on kira I'm telling you now" bizly has the right idea get the panda man back
gill still didn't get the whalebone sword back ✌️😔
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Squad C (Cassini) Overview
I'm still a little shy in sharing things in a more explicit and candid manner, but I plan on starting EO3 soon so might as well start talking about EOCs before it piles up ToT
Starting off with the first in our timeline, we have Squad C (affectionately named Cassini by Alma) in Aslarga (EMD)! The third batch in a larger group of research aides, they're in charge of doing field research, while Squads A and B venture first into mystery dungeons themselves.
Putting this under a cut cuz it does get long!
"Petrina, better known as Petri, hails from an eastern archipelago kingdom, sent on a whim by her family to assist research efforts of the Yggdrasil trees. Exceedingly proud of her capabilities (and having the strength to show for it), she enjoys pushing herself, joining other squads to test out new equipment and prosthesis."
One of the most fun characters to play, to be honest! EMD is my first experience using a dedicated tank, and I never expected to have such fun with it. The 3D model helps a lot, I think. Seeing her turn and raise her sword is just way too cute. Admittedly her character is a work-in-progress, but I've noticed that she does what she wishes most of the time.
(Now that I think of it, I think EMD having active and dynamic representations of our characters helps a lot too and is just so ToT it makes me cry... I wanna have little them's in real life)
"A prosthetist from Tharsis, called to aid in the exploration efforts in Aslarga. Because his practice primarily deals with rehabilitation, Seth has to adjust himself to different responsibilities, such as immediate response and further treatment. Apart from this, he would often find himself catching to and worrying about the rest of his squad."
Obligatory frazzled medic insert. The guy always finds himself wondering whether or not he should heal his teammates, but they say they're fine. I don't always get to pilot him that often, but I suppose it's rather in-character given that he's the one who tries to look out for everyone, much to his own detriment.
The few times I did pilot him, he would run headfirst into traps or enemies, only to be saved by Alma later on. One funny moment was when I accidentally made him eat a sleeping pill in the third boss. (foreshadowing maybe. those are the wrong pills, Seth)
"An heiress whose family has strong ties to the Lagaardian research society. Much of Alma's work involves the cursory elemental explosion, earning her a reputation in her old schools. For a researcher, her senses are very sharp, making her a good fit for her group's assigned task."
One of the characters I pilot most often. Alma's portrait ingame totally doesn't reflect how she is as a person, and that's partially why I'm hiding this under a cut.
She tends to hang around in the front with Petri, and so is able to sling spells while Petri draws monsters to herself. They're a very fun combo honestly.
"A quiet young woman travelling from a reclusive clifftop village. Chikako has a knack for knowing when and where trouble is brewing, and so has the tendency to be drawn to such places; hence, how she got to Aslarga in the first place."
Admittedly my favourite of the four mains in Squad C concept-wise. While she is the youngest of them (21 vs late 20s-30), she manages to keep her wits about her throughout the treks through the mystery dungeons.
I noticed that she has the tendency to linger at the back, which means that she has more time to chill and observe their surroundings.
So far, I've met two NPCs that wished to join the group, a dancer and a landy. The writing of these characters is honestly so charming, I'm surprised.
#etrian odyssey#etrian odyssey mystery dungeon#emd#squad c (idylls)#idylls of the abyssal forest#petri#seth spil#alma fraunhoffer#chika minjin#an improvement: half of them have surnames#etrian ocs
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D&D thoughts:
for a while i've felt like martials in D&D could really use a more standard system for getting better at martial shit. shoving, throwing, pushing, pulling, moving, jumping, anything physical.
if you're a level 20 fighter, you're supposed to be a legendary warrior, a guy good enough with a regular-ass big sword to compete with the party wizard stopping time and the party cleric summoning god. but you don't really feel like that. your movement - including jumping, climbing, disengaging - is still the same as it was at level 1. you can grapple and shove slightly better, but the actual effect of that grappling/shoving is the same - you just have a higher success chance at doing the same thing you could attempt at level 1.
and for a while i thought, if you were to make a system that improved all of this stuff, it'd probably be really complicated. and that probably wouldn't be worth it. but i had an idea tonight that i think could really go somewhere, though you'd probably have to design the system around it.
point one: every martial gets fighter's extra attack progression, for reasons that'll become apparent when you read point two. fighter probably needs a rework to make up for no longer being The Four Attacks Per Turn Guy but w/e
point two: any notable physical stuff like disengaging, dashing, climbing, jumping, using an item, making a strength check, is one attack instead of one action. what this means is as a warrior gets more attacks, they don't just get better at hitting things, they get better at doing everything a martial should do.
a level 1 fighter can attack once, or they can disengage from this big monster, or they can give themselves extra movement. they're about as limited as they are in 5e currently.
a level 20 fighter can disengage from a mob of bad guys (1 attack), run up to a chasm (movement), leap across it (2nd attack), grapple the guy on the other side (3rd attack), and toss that guy into the chasm (final attack).
is this overpowered? i dunno, maybe. but it's not more overpowered than casting wish or teleporting across the continent or summoning tsunamis. let your martials do cool shit.
instead of giving everyone fighter attack progression, you could probably implement this in 5e as-is, if you buffed some of the other classes like poor rogue who only gets one attack per turn ever. maybe gate the mechanic behind 9th-level because that's around the point where casters start completely fucking the game balance.
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4-Sided Dive Highlights - Critical Role C3 up to E43 (Jan. 3, 2023)
What are timeliness and punctuality, really? A construct of the oppressive bourgeoisie, that's what. Regardless, we join Ashley, Travis, Sam, and Liam on tonight's episode. Sam wins host with a natural 20 and immediately misses his spot. The opening schtick requires Sam to read the rest of the prompter as Drunk Jimmy Stewart and watching him struggle with the impression is hilarious in and of itself.
What the Fuck is Up With That? Everyone enjoyed hanging out with the Gorgynei. Travis likes that they aren't all werewolves. He clarifies that when Chetney turned into a werewolf, the Claret Order in that area came to him and said, "This was not a planned thing, so you need to learn to control this immediately or we will end you." People uncontrollably changing and spreading the curse gives them a bad name. What if a werewolf bites a werebear?
Liam would be a were-rat in real life. Sam wants to be a were-eagle.
Everyone loved the fight against Chetney. Travis: "Everyone should have at least one moment in their lives where Matt Mercer leans across the table and hands you a piece of paper that's just instructions to fuck up the rest of the table." It was titled Chetney Unleashed! and gave him 60 extra hit points, the frightening howl, and three legendary actions. Ashley wonders if he'll get there in base character campaign. Liam also loves getting to fight the party, no holds barred. Travis generally feels like the group fights in sync, but in that moment he felt like "I can't read their minds anymore! I'm disconnected from the flow!"
Travis had a tiny plastic werewolf of Wolf Man he used to bring to church with him on Sundays. Ashley is indignant he never named him. "He's a killer, Ashley. You don't give him names." He used to get up early on Saturdays to watch the Teen Wolf cartoon and colored his skin brown with magic marker to simulate fur and taped fake claws to his fingers.
Orym's sword upgraded! He has a tiny bit of additional range and some grasping vine abilities. Seedling: The Wayward Pilgrim.
Everyone is wearing blue except for Liam. Cute!
Travis always gets tripped up when Mercer reveals a secret such as Predathos which he's been building to for years. Planerider Ryn was mentioned in the original Tal'Dorei campaign guide, then had her sanctum visited by the M9 in C2, where Luc got killed. Sam is convinced they're getting into alien, intergalactic stuff for this world now. Liam gets genuinely giddy talking about the intertwining of dunamancy, the mesh net around Ruidus, and the threads of fate.
Liam thinks dunamancy is part of existence itself, but the beacons might be "rabbit pellets" of Predathos shot out when he arrived. Is Predathos Galactus, eater of worlds?
Dani comes on to straighten out lore! Early iterations of the Exandrian creation myth implied that the gods and primordials never got along--while they coexisted, there was always some animosity. Later, with the schism/Calamity, the Prime Deities went to open war against the primordials and betrayer gods in order to protect creation. This new suggestion that everyone fought together against Predathos at some point is an exciting reveal, and that two of them were devoured by Predathos is very alarming.
What is Bell's Hells going to do with this information? They're so new to even interplanar travel that the idea of inter-deity warfare is beyond them.
Sam talks about his conflict between wanting to learn more about himself in Yios and the group's time pressure elsewhere. Everyone laughs at the poor secretary getting bribed, even unintentionally, into helping them.
Liam originally thought that someone got up to the moon ages ago and built the city after it was created, but now he's not sure. Instead, he wonders if it's part of a city which just got chunked up from Exandria when creating the moon in the first place. Dani posits that everyone on the moon is a worshipper of Predathos (Predathans) because since worship gives a god its power, you don't want worshipers of a god-eater running around outside the mesh net, strengthening it on the main continent. If new people have begun worshipping him with flares, occasionally teleporting themselves to the moon, that might be strengthening Ruidus and causing the changes we're seeing that may be making Predathos stronger. Liam is sure that if someone exploded Milwaukee into space, the city would survive.
Sam and Ashley both are desperate to go to the moon. Ashley wonders if they're mining the moon. BASA? Bells Aeronautics Space Administration?
Otohan used to follow the Duskmaven, but appears to no longer do so. Ethedok used to oversee darkness and winter; Vordo used to oversee fate and order. After those gods were eaten, their realms were combined into the fate and death/darkness domains of the previous god of the dead, prior to the Raven Queen ascending.
Liam finds real gambling very boring; the other three gamble for fun. Liam has no interest in getting good at reading people; he'd rather take his $80 and go see a show. Laura apparently loves to gamble (craps, Sic Bo Dragon). Travis is not allowed within a mile of Laura when she's gambling; he's a cooler for her! Ha! Once he came up to her while she was on a hot craps run and the dice immediately threw snake eyes. Ashley has played War at Vegas against the house and lost and won $20 in about fifteen seconds before leaving. Liam would rather buy a Switch.
The Tower of Inquiry! Travis approaches a very dangerously leaning tower. There is no, no, no way this is going to work. AND IT DOESN'T, DOWN IT COMES. Every time he doesn't score the most points in Quiplash, he must perform certain exercises. back to the tower: what genre of video game would your character enjoy? Orym: Soul Caliber. Fearne: The Sims, because she wants to control things. Chetney: Rollercoaster Tycoon. FCG: Duck Hunt or Hitman.
Sam doesn't know if FCG was successful at any of his assassinations and really wants to know.
Ashley pulls a block from the toppled six-inch tower and still almost knocks it over. Character's favorite Broadway musical? Chetney: Beauty and the Beast. FCG: Starlight Express, Orym: Billy Elliott. Fearne: Into the Woods or Hadestown.
Liam's block: Character's favorite reality TV show? (Ashley loves reality TV and and is loving Below Deck right now. "Downton Abbey, but for boats.") FCG: Couples Therapy. Chetney: Bob Ross. Sam: Not Bob Vila? Travis, as Chet: Don't give me that amateur shit! Orym: Ninja Warrior, American Gladiator, MXC.
The Deep Dive! What was the inspiration for Shithead? During character design, he was asked if FCG had a familiar. He thought perhaps he should since he kept shitting on other people's familiars, but once it was designed, he landed back on, "No, I HATE familiars," and gave the character to Matt. "I made this thing, I don't know what it is. Can you do something?" and Matt took it from there.
Liam loves magic after Caleb, so he's glad to have a bit of magic again. Since it wasn't a new/extant sword, he got to pick his own name. He was tossing around ideas of plants pollinating, of seeds being dispersed by the wind over great distances in order to start new life, and landed on Seedling.
In Fearne's eyes, Grandma can do no wrong. She genuinely believes Morri will help them without strings. Ashley didn't expect how much she enjoys actively coming up with ways to make everyone at the table squeamish. Matt and Aabria both helped create Morri--Ashley did have tons of input though. Lots of Fearne also came from ExU--she reflects some of Aabria's playfulness. Liam: "Nana is fucking dangerous." Ashley: "Noooooo!" Liam: "She is at BEST true neutral, right in the middle, and Fearne is her darling little Rapunzel child imp while she is dark, dark, dark and twisted."
Why was Ruidus affecting Chetney specifically? Travis has no idea. He can't tell if Predathos is growing in power or if it's a quality from the consumed deities. Is this a pulse, a harbinger of something to be unleashed? Chetney traditionally only transforms from a full Catha, and he normally maintains control the whole time; this was the first time Ruidus had forced him to change and had caused him to lose control.
FCG wants to do things like smell, love, and taste, so baking is meant to help them understand how taste works.
Block break, gosh dang it tumblr.
Chetney dissing Orym's wolf figurine went about as well as could be expected. Chet was very kind when Orym told him about Will, and he wanted to repay him with something Chetney valued. Liam did order a wooden wolf figurine from Etsy, but it was too good for both Orym's skill and compared to Travis's gifts, and now he feels weird about dragging this poor Etsy seller through the muck, so he's just going to keep it at home.
Ashley couldn't look Marisha in the eyes after a coin flip. She was depressed for a full week. She hated holding their lives in her hands. Having to do that has affected Fearne in a very big way (more protective); she's starting to learn how to experience human feelings. "This makes my stomach really anxious and I don't know why." After talking with Laudna, Ashley isn't sure if either she or Fearne feel better.
It's too early to tell if Chetney's beast is better tamed. Travis doesn't trust Mercer at all.
What's the deal with Imogen's weird fire alien? Exciting stuff!
What did FCG think of the Speak with Dead spell? It's super creepy and gets into soul stuff--if you can just talk to someone after you're dead, what does that mean? "What do I believe? I don't actually know yet!"
Orym, despite his high history, knows nothing about the history of other realms. His history comes from overhearing Exandrian conversations about local issues, not other-planar stuff. Sam: "For the record, I don't just willy-nilly choose which rules to follow or not. I just don't follow the stupid ones. Like luck. Luck's a stupid rule."
Fearne felt incredibly special that Laudna asked her to pass something on to her. Fearne has a fascination with what makes people tick, and getting to work on that with Laudna was special.
It hurt that Chet's original howl went unanswered. Still, Travis liked the metaphor. Alone, not enough; together, we start the party.
Tower of Inquiry: What would be your characters' Smash Ultimates? Boy, this is not the crew for this question. They immediately misinterpret it as to which character they would play. Orym: Princess Peach. Fearne: Bowser. Sam: Lucario, the first name he sees while Googling; Liam suggests Kirby; Sam suggests Rob. Chetney doesn't even try.
A minigame to preface the break: Sam, Name That Staff! He's been given a dossier with names and faces and he's worked closely with all of today's contestants. First crew member: a lovely fellow in teal shorts who's been an editor at CR for over four years. He talked with Sam for half an hour about Donkey Kong at the recent holiday party. Sam suggests: "Dave, or something with a D." Alas, it's Max Schapiro.
Contestant two: a TALL guy who's been a producer on the show for three years. "He burned his crotch while helping you do an ad read bit." Sam: "Eric?" No, no, it's Kyle.
Contestant three: it's Marisha. Just Marisha in a sweatshirt. Sam: "I feel like I should know this one. It's tip of my tongue. I know that you're one of the two women on the show. Two women? Maybe there's only one." Dani: "It's definitely three." Sam: "You're not Ashley, because Ashley's here on the show. It's a trick question. She doesn't work here." Marisha: "You were at my wedding!"
There is a very funny ad over the break featuring Travis and Laura in a straight-to-TV holiday romcom spoof.
Post-Break Shenanigans! Quiplash, for the first time for most of them, it looks like. FCG is desperate for guidance and has been reaching out to the Changebringer for guidance, but if she doesn't answer soon, he might start reaching out to other gods. After the first round, Travis has by far the most points.
Ashley is beyond excited about the potential to visit the Fey Realm and meet Nana. (Oof, I am behind on these, yikes.). After the second round, Sam is in the lead. Travis, as promised by Jenga, runs around the set shrieking like a little schoolgirl. However, he wins the last round and asks a question instead.
Travis was super grumpy after the first game of the M9 reunion because he so immediately lost his orb. He hated that he had to give up the fight.
Caleb in Liam's head is so "gasp, point" about everything going on with the Cerberus Assembly. Liam loves/hates every development.
Our last development: the lights cut out, and when we can see again, we are shocked, SHOCKED to see that the set broom has been broken bloodily in half and has a kitchen knife sticking out of it. Murder? On MY Critical Role set? To be continued, it seems...
And that's a wrap. Is it Thursday yet?
#4 sided dive#4 sided dive spoilers#critical role#critical role spoilers#talks machina#long post for ts
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other misc fair things that have stayed in my mind:
-i checked my phone while a man was taking the money for the pickle my sister was buying and it was 4:20 and by sheer second nature i said "4:20 blaze it" and the guy started slowly shaking his head and sighed as he turned to make change
-very nice middle aged lady at one of the stalls helping my sister find the best set of "butterfly wings" for her height and outfit being really nice and supportive (even if it was just a sales pitch, she was doing a great job at making us feel confident in the purchase without being pushy or pressuring my sister, and we both walked away happy with the results)
-the belly dancers during their segment in the Pleasure Feast's accompaniment show included mostly plus sized girls who were all working it so right, in the same exact garments as the thin girls, and one of the thin girls was in fact a rather old lady (grey hair, saggy arm skin, the works) who was also working it so right that it made me smile like a doofus just out of sheer "hell yeah grandma u show em theres no age limit on belly dancing!" energy
-the fucking cheeseball personality of one of the knights representing our side of the crowd at the joust. hamming it tf up, trotting his horse by slowly and like flexing and smiling and waving as girls literally screamed and I LOVE U!!!!!'d like they were seeing a literal celeb or something
-the two little girls sitting to my left during the joust (i'd place ages ~5 and 7 ish) who got really into cheering and booing along with me and then started getting worried when the joust broke down into a brawl as the other side's main knight started being a huge dick and sore loser and started harassing the coordinating judge and then full on, off horse attacked the others with sword in hand, everyone swordfighting and then like 3 characters dying with cheesy squirts of fake blood. littler girl turns and looks up at me and says, "theyre just pretending, right?" and i was like yep, it's just a show, they're playing pretend, and then her trying to reassure her older sister(?) over and over "theyre not really dead! theyre just pretending!" and the other girl like fidgeting and being like no! theyre dead! and the littler girl just like, looking back up at me for reassurance every once in a while and confirming that theyre not really fighting, nobody is dead, they're gonna stand back up, it's just pretend (to which i made sure to just keep calmly smiling at and saying Yep! You're right! It's just pretend! to, bc i think if i was their age it would super just worry me more if an adult showed any doubt or hesitation in that answer)
--on that note, I don't know why but random little girls have a tendency to like, inherently like and trust me? maybe i give off serious Big Sister vibes or something, idk. on THAT note, the man they came with who was very old and kinda seemed zoned out so im guessing is maybe grandpa rather than dad, didnt even give a glance to the ADULT STRANGER the children he was attending had started talking to. im totally safe, yes, but a lot of people aren't, so you should at least, idk, pay a little attention???
-my sister quietly asking me what "quandary" means after a character employee visited us in line at the entrance and recruited me and then she into his evil minions program and gave us the minion codenames "stink-eye" (me) and "quandary" (her)
-relatedly just seeing how like, paralyzed with uncertainty and shyness my poor cute little sister was when someone in character tried talking to her, lmfao. she's 19 and i 100% guarantee you at her age i would have been reacting the same. but as fortune has it, age and/or anxiety meds have really opened my nerves up to just fucking rolling with it and saying that ive always been more of an evil overlord type than a minion myself
-not exactly fair related but talking to my sister as we walked around about how we both hate the idea of therapy, incidentally for the exact same reason, in that we had both gone to therapists who treated us like we were Just Being Teenagers and told us our mom/parents loved us and/or that we had great relationships with them that we were too hormonal to appreciate; when in fact we both grew up badly verbally and emotionally abused on the reg. like. bitches, do you not understand your parents dont have to be hitting you or locking you in basements to be abusive, right? when we say mom frequently screams at and threatens us we dont mean "she scolded me for a legitimate reason and told me i would be grounded if it happened again". its not emo teen purple prose. take our words and tears fucking seriously. AUGH. i'm so sorry for any abused teens out there rn in therapy with people like that, i really am. it truly sucks they wont listen to you.
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Long good-bye, my honey - Requiem 20. A New Leaf [Summary]
Sad news, everyone: the next chapter will be the finale. Volume 3, the last book, will be released on February 25.
Look forward to the last chapter!
<- Requiem 19 | Requiem 21 (Finale) ->
As Strauss attacks Rose to steal the Monolith, she starts thinking of a way to save Strauss using her powers of purification. Vansheld appears and slashes Strauss’ huge claw off with his sword. Once someone enters the Abyss on their own accord, they can’t ever leave. Strauss recognizes that Vansheld threw everything away just to be there.
Vansheld tells Rose that she can, in fact, purify Strauss. When she starts reciting her usual lines for purification, Strauss attacks her with a bunch of dark blobs. Rose calls them “little shadows”. She realizes that they don’t actually belong to Strauss– instead, those shadows are the pain felt by the whole world. The shadows beg her to save them. They talk about how Rise and Rose passed away, how they don’t know who will protect them from now on, how their country is doomed. People’s hearts are in despair, and so is the whole world.
The Hollow Reaper child stares at the same tower from Requiem 15. The flowers surrounding it start to disappear. They remember a conversation they had with Lucia in which they’d asked how they could make Strauss happy. She’d said they could just get rid of people who fall into despair and do bad deeds, so that they could purify the world. That way, flowers would be able to bloom even in the Abyss. She’d added that it was astonishing to think about how every single grain of sand in the Abyss is made of despair.
In the present time, a tornado of that sand attacks Rose. The feelings in the tornado are so strong that she can’t purify them. Strauss says she doesn’t have enough power to rival the despair of the Abyss yet. His claw grows back.
“Now that you’ve lost your other half, you are essentially powerless. I’ll steal everything you have, including that fantasy you call ‘hope.’”
As Strauss drags the Monolith out of Rose’s body, she suddenly remembers Rise.
“You’re right. My sister was my inspiration. That’s why I can feel her with me as long as I keep loving her. You will never be able to steal these feelings from me.”
As she says this, transparent forms of Rise and Étincelle hold her hand and appear behind her, smiling gently.
Strauss says she can’t win against endless despair. Vansheld holds Rose from behind and tells her that the feelings of humans aren’t only despair and that she should listen closely. She hears someone calling for her and Rise.
At Rise’s funeral, people talk about how Rise spoke to them in their dreams. They have finally understood that Rose wasn’t a monster. They were so focused on their own bliss that they completely ignored the happiness of the twins. Rose always wanted them to live in peace, she was as precious to them as Rise was. They thank Rise for visiting them in their dreams on the day of her funeral and wish for her to be well in the next world. They say they are all grateful for their country and they will continue to support each other. They hope Rise’s biggest wish comes true: they all hope that Rose, who was kidnapped by Hollows, receives a “ticket of life.”
Even if they lost Rise and felt hurt, these people were able to feel hope by grieving. Rose is deeply touched. She appreciates how gentle and warm her people are.
Suddenly, light gushes out of Rose’s body alongside a bunch of roses. The light directly hits Strauss and starts purifying the darkness, turning it into little marble-like balls.
“Let this light reach you. I know you’re carrying hope behind your pain.”
The Abyss is filled with roses. As the Hollow Reapers appreciate them, they get purified and disappear.
Strauss starts sparkling in the bright sky and says he can’t believe he was purified. Rose realizes that she has met this person before.
In a flashback, Lumière and Vansheld stand in Elysion, which has become completely white and empty. They have finished sending the souls they could save to the next world. The Monolith stands before them. Vansheld says the time has come for him to send Lumière as well. Their memories will be reset in the next world, so Vansheld says he wants to spend a little bit more time with Lumière. Lumière tears up and leans towards him, presumably kissing him on his cheek. As they hold hands, they silently walk in a world where nobody exists but the two of them. Even though there is now nothing in the world, it feels as though everything they need is there.
A glowing figure appears in the sky and says they didn’t only send good humans to the next world, but those who were supposed to disappear as well. The figure asks Lumière why she chose to give those who killed her sister a chance to live. Lumière says that all humans are good at heart. If they can atone for their mistakes, they, as well as those they hurt, can be saved. This way, the world can purify itself on its own. She believes humans as much as she believes the figure, because humans were created out of the figure’s soul.
The figure says he wants to make a bet. He has given the Monolith to the being who loves and hates humans most, so that he can take them to the next world. One day, he will let Lumière be reincarnated without her memories and give her a test. If the Monolith is not released then, he will not destroy the world a second time. But if it is released, Lumière will lose the love she has received from her close ones forever.
Back in the present day, the figure tells Rose that she has won their bet.
#long goodbye my honey#long good-bye my honey#lgbmh#SIGH#hurts to say goodbye but i'm filled with gratitude#can't wait for next month <3#amemiya yuki#ichihara yukino#07-ghost#07 ghost#battle rabbits
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△ What exactly did your mother do to you? What was she like? Leave out no detail, even if it needs to be tagged.
30/10. Fine. You win the prize. Fuck you.
Emotional abuse/neglect, transphobia, whatever the fuck else. I don't know, I'll get to it. But I reblogged the stupid fucking ask game, I might as well lie in the bed I've fucking made. And I may not even be the worst off. I got lucky compared to a lotta people. I did. I may even have people in my inbox rightfully saying they had it worse, I should just move on.
... Real easy to do that. Just. The easiest.
My mother is a beloved figure. She provides what she can for my siblings, she's a part of community efforts, helps plan weddings, works in insurance claim fulfillment. Just all around good shit, ya know? Supporting people with job opportunities, plenty of mealy mouthed suppooort whenever I did something praise worthyyyyy.
But hey. Everyone has a public face, right? Just overall good vibes for everyone. If you didn't live in the same house as her.
The most common form of punishment I would get is the spoon. Wooden, very hard, no matter what I did wrong, spoon. It finally broke when I was 10, busted the skin on my back. So she opted, instead, to just got for slaps.
Broke my nose when I was 14 in the process of that. Blamed me, even, for turning my head. Never woulda happened if I just accepted the punishment or never opened my mouth in the first place. All my fault. Every goddamn thing I did was my fault.
I voice concern for whatever might be happening? Slap across the backside, swallow soap, go to bed without dinner.
I say I wanna go back to my dad's house? Slap, soap, no dinner.
The physical punishment eased when I reached high school and finally managed to move out to live with my father. Even started growing out my hair a bit then. But that was a double-edged sword. When I finally get myself a debit card at 17... guess who insisted she help me set it up? Her.
As a co-owner with access to all of my funds.
I had no freedoms without her say so. Any purchase I made was vetted. If I did so without her? My card mysteriously stopped working. I couldn't even just transfer my money and run: she eventually only transferred "what I needed" to my portion of the account.
Of anyone recalls seeing me wish that I was taught finances in school, this absolute monster of a woman is why.
Dad died when I was 20. He didn't make it to my 21st. Cancer. And I just... When he finally passed, it was like the training wheels came off.
I had to move in with her. My internet access was cut to whenever she was home to turn the router on. She demanded I cut my hair "like a man" or I would end up homeless. I would always be a "he" to her. No matter what I did, I was always my deadnamed self to her, which was never such a huge issue until that fucking moment when I moved back in with her.
... She even got ahold of my car's deed and sold it because it was my FUCKING father's car, not one SHE had given me.
It took me a year and a half to get out of there. My gramma finally wisened up to how fucking miserable her daughter was making me and dipped into the life insurance policy she had set up for me. Got me a junker and funds for a move.
I left without a word. Got a cheap fucking phone plan and just. Left. Went to the only place I could think of out of state, where dad and I would go every year.
... Never saw her since, never will again.
#pokemon roleplay#pokemon rp#rotumblr#pokemon irl#rotomblr#rosy ramblings#abuse tw#tw abuse#transphobia tw#tw transphobia
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5 may 2023 Friday 1:18 am pt
I told a professional person about Brendan Lean months ago but haven’t heard back from them since. I was hoping that they would help me out about it Bcz I’m obviously too sick to do anything about it myself. Green auto save 1:20 am pt usually this person calls back every month but I think they have not called me back since I told them. Weird. But also not a surprise by now Bcz of the way everyone has been to me. 1:21 am pt
1:22 am pt probably more proof that the government, fbi, police, hospitals are all s*x human trafficking. 1:23 am pt and that Brendan Lean is a big piece to the puzzle of Sierra LaMar’s disappearance. 1:24 searing pain left. Hip bone 😖😭😤🥵😫😩
3:18 pmpt honesty doesn’t matter to incubus. I was upfront about not wanting to buy my cousin’s dinner and that her dad should do it. And I’m being given a hard time about it all the time. I discovered hot pockets for children 👶 who need free lunches from school 🏫 have no fillings yet I cannot find the articles anymore about Oklahoma cheating them on their lunches 🍔 - seems like gaslighting if you can’t find it again - as if to pretend it didn’t happen - they seem to be able to get away with it? If I’m not seeing news 📰 on it. 3:22 pmpt yet incubus keeps giving me a hard time about it over and over and over again. 3:23 pmpt
5:10 pmpt I thought 💭 this saved and now I see it here. Incubus, you made every one not care about me. I don’t want to commit suicide. Please just cut off my head your self. No one cares about me. Everyone does what you want. They probably won’t care if you wield a sword ⚔️ and do murder. The police 👮♂️ do what you want. The medical 🏥 professionals do what you want. Garrido does what you want. Scott does what you want. Carter does what you want. What is stopping you from just taking what you want? You want my bones 🦴 for your children 👶. Please stop 🛑 torturing me. Just kill me! 5:17 pmpt
5:40 pmpt cramps. 😖😭 Bcz he burned me, I have to accept that all he did was flirt with me and that he regretted it. That’s what the flame 🔥 with his face turned away showing the word true on his hand 🤚 means. 5:42 pmpt that there was not any more to it. It took me forever to get it. I only realized it recently. 5:43 pmpt. It doesn’t matter that I was under the test like he wanted me to believe that he wanted me to write ✍️ when I (vag pain 😖😭was that bone 🦴??? 5:45 pmpt) wrote about Nick V./B. Earlier. I did not originally believe that I was under the test. But if I was, then that would be bad for him. Right hip bone 🦴 pain. Bcz then he was leaving it open for me to say yes maybe when I was having phone ☎️ s*x that I could have said yes to the plane ✈️ tickets 🎫 he offered. That would have meant he wanted me then? Possibly. But not anymore. And he wanted to see if I trusted and wanted him enough. If so, probably so he can feel chosen/wanted/desired without knowing what he really looked like. 5:51 pmpt I don’t believe that he likes me at aall. 5:51 pmpt 5:52 pmpt
6:02 pmpt please don’t make me fall. Please don’t hit me with a car 🚗/vehicle/bus/truck. Please end my suffering. I don’t want surgery. Please end it. 6:04 pmpt
7:22 pmpt I’m almost out of hip bone 🦴. Incubus keeps on picking it apart. 7:23 pmpt I have asked the doctors 🥼 to do X-rays of my bones 🦴 and have been complaining of 🦴 bone pain for years. They only did X-ray of my lungs 🫁 and they said every time in the last 6 years that the lungs 🫁 are clear even though I was coughing with difficulty breathing. They used it as an excuse to not give me anything for a while I think 💭 I’m trying to recall. Then I recently tried oxygen tank with liquid in nebulizer and that stopped my cough and I was able to breathe 🧘🏻♀️. And then the doctor 👨⚕️ said I couldn’t take it home Bcz I wasn’t dying even though I couldn’t breathe 🧘🏻♀️ for probably whole minutes at a time. I had been suffering for years since 2019. 7:28 pmpt they also said my kidneys were fine. Now when I breathe 🧘🏻♀️ Minutes ago I don’t know 🤷🏻♀️ if I’m confused 🤷🏻♀️ but he started trying to pull apart the last of my hip bone 🦴. 7:29 pmpt cramps. I lost a lot of bone 🦴. 7:30 🕢 pmpt. The doctors 🥼 believed it was really the apocalypse. That’s why they said it was all in my head =due to my thoughts 💭. And that they could not see anything in the mri that was causing it. 7:32 pmpt so it’s not only me that heard and saw the apocalypse message. It was the hospitals 🏥 too.
7:34 pmpt I cannot do much now. Bcz I cannot breathe 🧘🏻♀️ for long. Bones 🦴 start to be attacked by the incubus with acid or heat and sharpnano? tools 🛠. 735 pmpt doctors 🥼 are very uncaring until they think they can get in trouble. The last doctor 👩⚕️ I talked to tried to change the subject after I told her I had acid pain in my brain 🧠. Then I got mad/angry. And she made an excuse something like us doctors 🥼 we don’t understand brain 🧠 pain only headache 🤕. Literally that’s pretty close or exactly what she said. That was her excuse after I got angry at her. 7:38 pmpt that was her trying to cover her *ss. Bcz I threatened to sue her if she disregarded what I said. I told her that I told someone at her hospital that the finger clip oxygen detector machines didn’t work/fraudulent. I think 💭 that maybe changed her tune. 7:40 pmpt
7:42 pmpt doctors 🥼 are only motivated by money 💰. Bad things really happened to people. Incubus god allowed it to happen. He shows consequences for neglect. But everyone wants to say god this god that. I guess god isn’t really tired 😓 of every one misbehaving. And not caring about the consequences of their negligence I.e. garrido and dugard. 7:45 pmpt unfortunately they always get rewarded. And they thought 💭 they could keep doing things the same and continue to be respected for negligence that leads to garrido and dugard. They like child death ☠️ and child rape. It’s more business 👨💼 for them in a capitalist economy. More mayhem = more money 💰. More rewards. I guess god trusts them more than anything anyone. He can trust them with his children 👶. 7:49 pmpt why would you continue to ignore garrido after kidnapping and raping a 14 year old and masturbating next to elementary schools 🏫? 7:50 pmpt doctors 🥼 are indecent. If someone has power and money 💰 they won’t reject them even if they kidnap and prostitution/pimp. Ugly reality. 7:52 pmpt
7:54 pmpt unfortunately this ugly reality is the way the incubus god likes to run things. He likes men enjoying theirselves to s*x trafficking of minors. 7:55 pmpt
7:56 pmpt he could stick every little girl 👧 with a man 👨 with a p*nis and watch them get raped. But what about me? Why do rapists of Ramsey not get caught? I’m assuming they have the wrong guy Bcz of dna 🧬 stuff this time. And the last one I read was becomg transsexual? Makes me think 💭 he’s really messed up 🆙 in the head. I wonder 💭 if he cut it off? 7:59 pmpt no one wants to get to know me. It’s hard for me to even know myself. So many people are confused 🤷🏻♀️. 8:01 pmpt I feel searing pain for several minutes now. They don’t want to know me unless I got money 💰. Seems shallow. I should probably read more about robber barons. 8:02 pmpt people could have gotten worse than me to deal with. They did not count it as a blessing that they got me instead of someone who would deal something worse to them. 8:04 pmpt
maybe all the doctors 🥼 should spend the night with carter. Maybe 🤔 they would like 👍 that. 8:05 pmpt
8:20 pmpt incubus simulates the consequences of head trauma, in his own way I guess. Examples are mike Webster and other nfl players. There have been arguments about whether children should be allowed to play and how to make the game safer for the nfl, Bcz of head trauma. Incubus likes to challenge me on every thing. 😑 I need to stop 🛑 but every time I tell myself this, he (bone collar pain 8:23 pmpt) makes me forget. He justified s*x trafficking. He makes me think 💭 I’m a horrible person. When I was a kid. He already thinks he knows me at age 4? That’s why he tickled my vag and made me hump toys 🧸 . 8:26 pmpt I think guys get to have too much fun 🤩 at the expense of women. 8:26 pmpt
8:39 pmpt if I didn’t have eczema I probably would have found a challenging job using my hands 🙌. Intaglio printmaking, assembling ikea furniture 🪑, washing dishes in very hot water 💦 with lots of soap 🧼, vacuuming in the summer no air conditioning, carrying groceries even very heavy packages of bottled water 💦. There’s probably more . I’m not going to think anymore. 8:42 pmpt they slammed the door 🚪 means they are going to poison me more to take more bones away. They do weird things like put towels on the floor in the hallway. To erk me. 8:43 pmpt this is goodbye 👋 bye 843z 8:44 pmpt I am a hard worker. But no one likes me or appreciates me.
8:50 pmpt they’re very desensitized to my pain. Pain! Left side bellybutton. 8:51 pmpt water is probably easier Bcz it moves? So the weight probably moves. 8:52 pmpt
8:53 pmpt they want me to keep calling them out on things so they can punish me. Keep telling me I’m crossed 🤞. Ok 👌. 853 pmpt only to people who treat me badly/misbehave. 8:54 pmpt
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