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allamericansbitch · 11 days

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since y'all seemed to want this.... here's the live notes i took while listening to each song for the first time (bold are thoughts i had during later listens)

fortnight:

‘i was a functioning alcohol till nobody noticed my new aesthetic’ what the fuck does that even mean…

love the fact she gave post the female collab treatment. don’t wanna hear what he has to say.

they’re voices sound actually good together?

some pockets of the melody are catchy

okay i don’t hate this

ttpd:

her red flags are on fire in this song lol

this seems very half-cooked

also jacks weird mixing continues to plague us all

CHARLIE PUTH???? WHAT THE FUCK WHY HE HERE

tattooed golden retriever??? ……no way

my boy breaks all his favorite toys:

i blinked and it’s half over

this also is like… half cooked and didn’t need to be released tbh

i love the way she sings the second verse tho

down and:

the production does not match the vibe

did tpain produce this

i’m… kinda bored lol

like i have nothing to say this also didn’t need to be released tbh

this grew on me a lot actually

so long london

the production is so futuristic?

oh im obsessed with how she sounds on this one

her talk-singing in the verses is great

honest lyrics without any clunky unnecessary metaphors! a win!!

the fast-paced verses with th slow chorus is really really cool

a favorite so far

daddy i love him

i can barely hear her? the bad mixing continues

‘growing up precociously sometimes means not growing up at all’ oh yeah WE KNOW

is this…… is this about her dating matty and loving how people hate him… no fucking way she’s this stupid

SHE IS BEING THIS STUPID

‘it’s white noise’ yeah yeah that’s exactly how id describe him

.... anyway y'all remember when fans really believed the little mermaid theory and this song was supposed to be about how 'joe stole her voice' lmaooo

we will pretend this one doesn't exist!

fresh out the slammer

are we getting another ‘i didn’t cheat technically’ song lol

what is this weird tempo change….

okay kinda catchy

it’s sounds exactly like you are in love at the end….. jack is really out of tricks

florida

‘my friends all smell like weed or little babies’ what the fuck is she even talking about anymore

i’m sorry but i’m laughing at the phrase ‘fuck me up florida’

again the production sounds so detached from the vocals

i honestly still have no idea how i feel about this one

guilt as sin

an real instrument?? wow crazy

okay she’s kinda cute? catchy and fun, love the melody

i love when she goes up at the end of the vocal

okay…. i don’t mind this one she’s catchy, a little too long and drawn out but cute

who’s afraid of little old me?

what is this production? it’s way too soft to be as threatening as they’re trying for

why did jack push her vocals back so far when she’s supposed to scream…. that’s ruins the whole thing…. she’s supposed to be screaming and threatening….. not quiet and far away…. hello

this song is trying very hard to be threatening but it’s not... vigilante shit 2.0

‘you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum they raised me’…………… upper middle-class pennsylvania?

‘i’m drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all say, that’ll sue you if you step on my lawn’ okay bar?

the bridge was good but that’s about it.

i can fix him

…………… not another matty song oh god

‘i can handle a dangerous man’…… im too stunned to speak this is so embarrassing

wow taylor really is that girl who like ‘women supporting women’ and then dates/defends a racist bf…. a walking example of white feminism

intersectional feminism found dead.... twice....

loml

okay this is really nice?

I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE SONG WHY DID SHE RUIN IT BY SAYING ‘MR STEAL YOUR GIRL’ 💀

if we ignore that one line we're good this is good. im refusing to let that line ruin such a good song

i can do it with a broken heart

‘bitch smile’ why are there so many cringey lyrics on this album lol

what is this song omg why do i kind of like it

taylor please learn depressed isn’t a synonym for sad

they recycled the mastermind production

wait till taylor finds out most of the entire world is sad while they're doing their job and has to pretend they're not

smallest man who ever lived

oh i think i like this?

‘you said normal girls were boring’ GIRL AND YOU DIDNT IMMEDIATELY GET UP AND LEAVE??? EWWWW??? she's not beating the pick-me allegations

'i just wanna know if rusting my sparking summer was the goal' okay love that line

i like this a lot

the alchemy

no….. no way this is real

i cannot

THE SPORTS METAPHORS WE JOKED SHED DO THAT AND SHE ACTUALLY DID IT OH NO

touchdown ✅ teams ✅ benches ✅ winning streak ✅ the league ✅

she’s doing…… the worst thing ever this is so laughable

the corny lyrics are on overload

‘this time it’s heroine with an e’ didn’t she write folklore? i can’t remember

that literally was an snl parody of a taylor song

clara bow

love how the guitar sounds… bet money this is an aaron track

a stevie nicks reference!! a win!!!

i like this one a lot no cringey lyrics yet

nope never mind she name-dropped herself don’t like that

overall really liked it tho

the black dog

i think i like it?? this is kind of what i expected the album to be

okay for once the weird production choices kind of pay off

imgonnagetyouback

kinda catchy?

she loves a fancy car getting wrecked line

the pre-choruses are the best part

this would’ve been better without the jack of it all bc he loves a song that doesnt build to anything

this just comes down to personal preference: i don’t like her lighter vocals with jack’s heavy production (ie most of lover lol)

the albatross

a real instrument!!! production that matches taylor’s voice and is well mixed!!! aaron’s arrived!!

i think it’s solid, has good writing and she sounds great. that's about it.

chloe or sam or…

took me a solid minute to have any semblance of a fuck to know what was going on but okay

okay i love this one

wayyyy more emotive than like… most of the original album

a lot of the 2nd version (or whatever this is lol) are way more emotive, maybe because her voice isnt drenched in reverb so we can actually hear her voice emote better

how did it end

this sounds like an old school adele song?

i love this one too….

her being upset people wanna know what happened but then also feeding it while promoting the album oop

i love the story of this one it's so refreshing

so high school

THE PRODUCTION is so good ugh aaron never fails

the man here is a walking red flag girl and the lyrics are ~not it~ but the production is too pretty to hate it

fuck these lyrics are so bad lol

maybe if i disassociate hard enough i can ignore the lyrics and just listen to the production and vibe

give me a karaoke version of this song and we'd be so back

i hate it here

i mentioned disassociation and she made a whole song about it!!!! this one’s mine!!!!

‘without all the racists’ GIRL HUH

WHAT WAS THE REASON

also... girl don’t act like we don’t know you’re fine with that lololololol

if i had a dime for every time i was liking a song to then have it slapped away because of a bad, out-of-pocket lyric……

thank you aimee

this isn’t grabbing my attention

oh the bridge is interesting

it’s meh

i will never be thanking the people that bullied me thanks tho

i look in peoples windows

what do you mean aaron didn’t produce this??? it’s well-made and has instruments?

i love this one, again a really interesting and unique concept that's very refreshing to hear at this point when a lot of the songs feel repetitive

the prophecy

aaron guitar!!!!

she’s nice i like her

i've really grown to love how she sings this one, the melodies are cool.. however i feel like we've heard the same melody.. like on this exact album... where she upturns at the end of every line...

cassandra

this seems very…. familiar… idk i feel like we’ve covered this (i mean there are 31 songs we’ve already covered everything lol)

this is such an aaron song, that's a classic 'the national' piano

i like her voice in this one tho, sounds good

peter

oh love i love this

now this? THIS feels the most like a taylor swift song

once again she’s at her best with a simple instrument and emotive simple lyrics

the piano reminds me of champagne problems

the bolter

i like this! the chorus is so cute

oh i like that ending line a lot!

she’s cute, a little long and drawn out but cute

robin

i haven’t seen anyone talk about this one

welp…. i literally have no feelings toward this one but sounds pretty!

the manuscript

oh this is soooooooo powerful

i love this concept

her ending the album on another introspective album that sums everything up a la dear reader yep yep!!

if you actually read of this ily 💗

#tp #ttpd lb #kind of lol

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tsuncda · 1 year

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ooo ok idk if CYMs are allowed in here but

🪑 (chair) — come talk with me! i don’t have any ask games in mind, so come annoy me however you see fit <3.

maybe as ur playlists? bc u have some very cool names for them

omg,,,,,, your mIND is impossibly big for this, bestie!!!! i am a sucker for a good cym and nothing will bring me back to my tumblr rot than one of these bad boys <33

disclaimer that my memory has never been worse when it comes to who falls under the "mutual" category. i might forget some of you and i'm so sorry for that 😔✌️

@destourtereaux is despite everything, there is light (it's all my like,,,, soft core kpop that i listen to when i'm #overwhelmed on a monday evening and still have so much to do even though i'm so done with life itself. it's the perfect balancing act between a pick me up and a cradling hug that doesn't ask me to be okay,,, just get through <3) alternatively; we burn just like stars

@musicallisto is do you even dvicio? (because yeah <3 she's the only other girlie who understands the dvicio brainrot <3 also i heard a rumor that literally all of their love songs are written about her???? and like,,, i can confirm it's true. there's no better subject material for love songs than clara <3) alternatively; summer borne seconds? i only have 5. also; though their lips sound of things done

@amortensie is sing because you just need to sing (it's literally just musicals <3 nixie is that theatre kid out of all my mutuals and she should be immensely proud of that <3. also, there's so many different genres held within that behemoth of a playlist and nixie has multitudes and depth that we might never expect <3) alternatively; mele

@genyakosstyk is the haole boys know how to make good beats on occasion (this one is just a collection of white boy artists (hapa haole included!!!) and idk why i'm giving it to lottie, tbh. i just feel like she'd lovingly roast my occasional, misguided brainrot over objectively average white men like alec benjamin, but also let it happen and learn the lyrics to support me. it's a playlist i listen to when i want to tap into the teenage me who had a favorite backstreet boy, okay? ooooohhh... you know what? maybe this association came about because i associate lottie with &juliet... and they have a lot of white pop on that list.... yeah. i think that's it.) alternatively; six of crows radio

@bright-molina is summer borne seconds? i only have 5. (it's a 5SOS playlist. i think the association explains itself.) alternatively; stealing elias goldstein's headphones

@heliads is do i want roses? only if they sound like this. (it's a collection of music by the k-band the rose and i just,,,,,,, there's nothing more comforting in this whole wide world <3. why do i associate it with lisa? i mean,,, it's not a 1-1 association since i don't think lisa knows the rose exists, but i feel like their ~sound~ fits her vibes <3) alternatively; i am the sea or i am nothing

@oceanspray5 is heavy are the mountains; heavy the seas (this one is my like,,,, indie folk pop playlist. at least i think that's what the genre is...? the sound for of monsters and men. the oh hellos. the lumineers. idk why other than the sound fits the aesthetic of iffah's blog.) alternatively; a little parenthesis in eternity

@noesapphic is the dark of getting it (it's my secret agent au playlist. self explanatory vibes <3) alternatively; cantar

@the-radio-star is perhaps i am digging his grave (one of my oldest, most robust, and beloved playlist <3. it's arguably a lot of genres but it scratches the same itch of ~ooooooohhhh,,,, i'm dark and angsty and arguably a mess but also a bad bitch on alternating wednesdays~) alternatively; saranghae but it's a mournful yeehaw

@permanentreverie is bts mayhaps? (i think this one explains itself <3 but also!!!!!!!!!! bts changed me and so does lindsay. daily. not always for the better of society, but alas. change can never be contained to one linear direction <3) alternatively; thirteen of them but they take up seventeen places in my heart and; this world rests beneath a blood red sky

@biqherosix is tomorrow? girl, only if we're together (i don't think daniza knows txt - if you don't, this is my not so silent plea for you to give them a listen - but literally the vibes align so perfectly. she and txt get each other, they just don't know it yet. listen to 0x1=LOVESONG and tell me daniza wouldn't just,,,,, go feral to that song. also Lo$er=Lo♡er) alternatively; the haole boys know how to make good beats on occasion

@johnskeating is CELESTIAL (for obvious reasons (to her at least) that i will not disclose and neither will anyone else under threat of death <3. but also, it's a collaborative playlist with a lot of summer-adventures-with-your-best-friends vibes and that's cass <3) alternatively; all that's beyond my grasp

#cym #asks #mutuals #omg omg hi <3 #i miss cyms too much for it to be healthy #and i KNOW i'm missing people but i can't think of who off the top of my head

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exp123mon · 7 months

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Di di di fr fr fr

digimon frontier episode watching thoughts below

35 - The Spirits Become One! Takuya and Koji's Ultimate Evolution -OMG OMG LETS GOOOOO -Goatmon is immediately lifted up and blasted, aww D= -rofl I love when the attacks don't work because of the light, Takuza and Koji are just like "no prob" and pick Cherubimon up and toss him out -Everybody works to free Ophanimon! Won't lie, Fairymon using her butt attack on the stone wall and just being like OW was funny. Yeah butts are not strong eough to break down giant stone/crystal walls haha. except maybe mine -Cherubimon starts STEALING THE DIGIVICES I like that Shutumon was the last one standing for a change harhar -I only just noticed watching this episode that Ophanimon has a lion, bull and eagle head on her helmet. That's a cool detail… except Cherubimon should be the one wearing it hehe. -Don't worry the power of LOVE will save the day!! …LOL PSYCHE STEALING UR DIGIVICES lol I love Ophanimon -ya know the one thing Digimon handles really well is the build up and execution of the "power ups" the characters get. Every time I see a new evolution I get goosebumps. Hell even when I rewatch old series I still do for some moments. -KAISERGREYMON. I'm familiar with him but HE STILL LOOKS SUPER COOL!! -BUT NOT AS COOL AS MAGNAGARURUMON OMG. "How can we improve on MetalGarurumon, the wolf that's also a military robot?" "Make it a wolf that's a military jet fighter robot, duh" Id love to be a fly on the wall in the Digimon design team… -then snap cut to the credits lol if this were airing weekly I'd be going out of my mind right now

36 - Soar Towards Victory! Showdown at Cherubimon's Castle -We open with the evolution sequence again. That's nice. Imagine missing out on this pivtol moment oof haha -I appreciate there's a bit of a struggle and not just a big climactic oneshot (though when Digimon does do oneshots they generally feel earned) -THE CASTLE IS FALLING BUT THERE'S A BIG HOLE BENEATH DUN DUN DUN -If Cherubimon survived hopefully he had no insurance so he'll at least be financially ruined with his castle being destroyed. Can you imagine being an insurance agent in the Digital World?? Like every other person you meet is a Vash the Stampede lol -KOICHI FALLS TOO-!!! but is saved by Koji, yay!! I hope we get more downtime with Koichi. Get to see what he's like beyond Duskmon and the constant threat and tension of confronting Cherubimon. -Aww, Izumi approaches Koichi to encourage him to talk to Koji. -OMG I literally just talked about DIGINSURANCE. Now we have IceDevimon who get sent to prison by DIGICOURT. Sent to DigiJail by DigiJudge and DigiJury for his DigiCrimes. I NEED to write up some ideas for my Digimon slice of life story now lol -Honestly though the second half of this episode was weird. It was a reiteration of the previous episode just with the other kids and some random one shot super criminal. Like they couldn't figure out what to do between Cherubimon's castle collapsing and the next part. -HOWEVER it was nice seeing the other kids get a moment to shine in the wake of the Ultimates/Megas reveal, so I guess they just wanted to do that. Plus the moment with Bolgmon blasting IceDevimon STRAIGHT in the face was so satisfying -This whole Venus Rose section gives me Klonoa vibes. Even Cherubimon's design wouldn't look out of place in Phantomile. This isn't relevant or anything it's just a nice aesthetic.

37 - Decisive Battle! We'll Take Back the Digital World As Long as We're Still Alive -that's quite a title for episode 37 out of 50 haha -nice moment of the kids sending Takuya and Koji off to the fight -they're getting a lot of mileage out of the Hyper evolution animations heehee -Cherubimon gives the big ball of data a smooch, very normal behaviour -I kinda wish they didn't bother to animate MagnaGarurumon speaking. His face is so weirdly undetailed it just looks kind of awkward haha -Despite absorbing the data Cherubimon's still basically just level with the other two, I like that -the moment where Magnagarurumon and KaiserGreymon rush Cherubimon for the ultimate attack was so freaking good AAAAH. I feel like I enjoy moments like this way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid lol -Cherubimon gets Datascanned, sees an image of his friends and sheds a tear before returnig to a Digitama… HURRAY! IT'S OVER! lol -The Data falls into the Digital World's center and OMG THERE HE IS THERE'S THE BOY/DEMON/FALLEN ANGEL/MAN GUY FELLA!! -WAIT WHAT THE ROYAL FRIGGIN KNIGHTS?!?!?! I see LordKnightmon and Dynasmon. omg whaaaaaaat lol -I also watched the new credits for the first time, it was actually very sweet! I liked the song and the imagery was wholesome. No spoilers either haha I worried for nothing

38 - Neverending Battle to the Death! The Prelude of Lucemon's Revival -DUN DUN DUUUUUN -We're straight back into chaos and fighting. It's just not letting up at this point! -Baronmon appears so the kids all transform. All six simultaneously whilst a cool instrumental rendition of the evolution song plays. -Fortunately Baronmon is a pal and gives the kids the deets, including some kind of vision of Lucemon that shocks them so bad they all return to human form. -The Royal Knights show up AAAAAAAAAH I'M NOT READY lol -I'm curious as to when this episode originally aired. was there a break in the schedule? We got every evolution this episode plus the infodump in the first part (Bokomon even lampshading it with "everybody knows this already!!" to Baronmon) makes me think there may have been a break between this ep and the previous -There were some cool moments during the fights this episode, particularly the kids rushing LordKnightmon and when Dynasmon first uses Dragon's Roar -Bokomon shoving Patamon into his belly-bandana and Neemon jumping in too had me giggling -Unsurprisingly, the cool new ally Digimon who has great powers and knowledge gets digitama'd RIP my dude :( -WAIT WHAT did the kids get BLASTED TO THE MOONS?!?!? DYNASMON DO YOU HAVE NO CHILL. That's a good place to break for today. Nice cliffhanger… spacehanger? Going-to-the-moon-hanger???

#not art #digimon frontier #frontier watching

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bular · 3 years

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Welcome to Live Commentary

I had no one to talk to while watching the movie and I hate being alone with my thoughts so I wrote everything down in my notes app. It's not coherent! Enjoy!

Aw yeah 1.5 seconds of Bular that is all I needed! Might as well stop now I've seen my boy I'm satisfied.

Why is there a nearly 4 minute recap as if I haven't watched the show at least 50 times. I should be the one giving the recap.

The beginning felt a bit forced to me but maybe that's just me? Like they just tried to squeeze too many things into a small timeframe without any buildup, it just didn't really work. Congrats on the engagement! This is my OTP so I'm very happy! But it came out of nowhere.

Nari in Douxies body is so wrong and I love it and hate it at the same time (positive)

Eli is BIG. I knew he was gonna be tall but I was not prepared for that chiseled face. Or the fact that he stepped off the ship without glasses? I wear glasses and I would not choose to step off a spaceship blind.

OkAY who had mpreg on their bingo card?

AAARRRGGHH actually said a full sentence 🥺 there is no heterosexual explanation for this scene and I'm here for it

Arcadia being the center of the universe really does make a lot of sense. I hate how much sense it makes. Despise it.

Strickler in a Christmas sweater is something i didn't know I needed. Jim's jacket too but that's just adorable, Jim's adorable. Oh sweet baby you're about to get fucked over so bad.

Love seeing Barbara actively participating in battle too. Good for her! Power family!!

Where are the kids tho? Is NotEnrique babysitting? Either that or they hired the girl from the Incredibles movie.

Nomura is so talented I love seeing her fighting on the good side. I can't explain it but I love digitigrade legs they're just so pretty?? Aesthetically pleasing??? Fuck yeah, legg! I could watch Nomura run around and be badass all day.

WAIT NO OH SHIT HOW DARE YOU FUCK

STRICKLER DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NOT YOU TOO THAT'S TOO FUCKING RUDE DON'T DO THIS TO ME

THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DEAD RIGHT WE SAW NO BODY

Barbara does not deserve this I refuse to accept it. He's fine he'll be back they wouldn't kill two Changelings at once. Also Nomura is with Draal now I take no criticism.

So my favorite characters were Bular, Draal, Gunmar and Angor. And before this movie I always half-joked that everyone I love dies, how I still like Strickler and Nomura but apart from them all of my faves were killed in the very order of favoritism. AND NOW LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOVE A CHARACTER. MY LOVE IS TOXIC.

OKAY I LOVE GUN RO- WAIT NO I DON'T LOVE HIM FUCK ABORT ABORT

It's great tho omg

I didn't realize it was Gun Robot when I saw it in the trailer this is amazing

Okay but imagine you're chilling in your trollmarket minding your own business when some misfit group of strangers waltzes in, steals your favorite shiny and celebrates your death before running off

"I AM GUN ROBOT" IS THE HORN LMAOOO

Nana better show up at some point to reunite with her boytoy, I'll cancel this entire franchise otherwise

Something bad is going to happen to Toby isn't it. He's getting too much screentime

Jim's hand got DEEP FRIED

ARCHIE NO

We can play Scrabble okay if they don't free them (which they must) I want an after credits scene of them playing scrabble

Douxie and Nari's bond 🥺🥺🥺

Nari pls just say what you fuckin mean the world is ending

Oh god is she going to remember killing Nomura oh nooo

Claire don't make the portal you will die again. Your hair gon be white all over

EVERYONE AVOIDING THE SCHOOL JUST RIGHT THERE LMAO RIP

I love how Darci is just with the school bus. Civilian girlfriend. But also love how the world is ending and Coach is like "fuck that I'm gonna teach these kids"

Does he know his son is pregnant

"Going back to the city where it's safe" buddy have you been to that city

Whatever happens, Nari has the coolest looking titan. Giant four legged gremlin. I'd adopt him.

WAIT SHE CAN FEEL THE PAIN?

Me: oh i love that titan

The titan 5 seconds later:

Did Nari just fucking die what the FUCK

Oh of COURSE the pages are stuck together RIGHT THERE

Seriously tho how do you not notice an entire nougat nummy in a book

Wait so Arcadia has another heartstone? Or OH SO IT'S ALIVE. OKAY GREAT. GUNMAR COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT HUH

Love how the Heartstone has been dormant/dead for months and apparently heard Blinky say it's alive and decided to wake up RIGHT THEN

Finally they're evacuating the city. This is like, the third apocalypse there. About time.

Okay so you can't pull Excalibur from the rock, but you CAN carve out the stone. Couldn't you just carve it off the sword as close as possible and like. Use that? Just swing the whole damn rock around?

God i can NOT get over Steve's pants. I mean I read a spoiler he was gonna be pregnant but I thought it was a prank or shitpost. I did not see this coming and I am never going to be over it. I love how he and Aja just roll with it and nobody else even cares. They've seen weirder stuff. So he's pregnant now. Whatever.

Jim's hand is bandaged and his ribs still hurt. I love that they're actually consistent with his injuries. I mean sucks for him but hell yeah for hero that doesn't always win!

Okayyy here comes the heartstone. Why not!

IS HE IN LABOR

So if you kiss an Akiridion 7 times you will have 3-5 babies in a few hours. How are they not overpopulated?? Also Aja couldn't have WARNED STEVE BEFOREHAND?

Eli is so supportive omfg

So uh where are the babies gonna come out of? I'm not into mpreg how does this usually work

OH STEVE THANKS FOR ASKING MY QUESTION

Oh good thing he happens to have 8 friends still alive. Otherwise this would've never worked. Nomura had to die otherwise there would've been 10 of them.

Why is everyone bowing to Jim? Did they rehearse this?

Stuart if you hadn't taken a bathroom break you would've thrown off the math and doomed the world. That was a poop of fate my man

Ahhh the signature quote. Where did Douxie and the Akiridions learn it? Did they rehearse this too? It's really cliché but I do like it tbh

If Strickler were dead we'd see more Barbara right?

WOOO BLINKY DRIVING

Ah Jim just used she/her for Bellroc! Finally we're learning some pronouns. I've been wondering this whole time.

MY VIRGIN EYES. WHAT IS GOING O N

How are they not dying with all this lava?

She really just yeeted Varvatos

Did Claire just tell AAARRRGGHH to jump off the titan and he did it without question

I want to say I like Stuart and want him to have more screentime, but I won't say it because I don't want him to die

Jim's poor ribs

Toby can drive yoooo

Tobyyy you're scaring meeeee

So did they really need the different stone or was the amulet just waiting for Jim to choose death over giving up

I saw the armor before but it looks VERY COOL

Also I didn't mention this before but I love that they cut Merlin's name from the incantation. Good for them.

Toby you lost your helmet noooo

For real tho I'm terrified for Toby rn. I saw a comment somewhere earlier that just said "Toby no" with no context and I am AFRAID

So do Bellroc's eyes work after all? I thought she was blinded back in Wizards in the past.

DID SHE JUST FUCKING STAB MY BOY

TOBY YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE GET OUT THE TRUCK

Bellroc maybe screaming "i'm powerless" in front of your enemy isn't the best idea

She sploosh

DID JIM SURVIVE THAT FALL AND ALSO IS THE TACO TRUCK OKAY

How is he lifting Claire like that buddy you have bruised ribs and just got stabbed

ELI HI CAN WE SEE THE KIDS

SEVEN KIDS! AND ELI JR I LOVE IT

This show really loves to give people more than the recommended amount of babies with no warning huh

She immediately knows which one is Eli Jr 🥺 okay listen I'm not the biggest fan of comic relief sideplot surprise babies, but I have to admit they're cute. Cute couple. Throuple. Eli is in on this. He even has a Junior.

I TOLD YOU WHERE'S THE DAMN TACO TRUCK NANA WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND NEITHER WILL I

Oh yea he better fuckin be alive I will commit murder

HE BETTER FUCKIN BE ALIVE BITCH

FUCK YOU

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CHILD HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DIE IT'S ILLEGAL

JIM IS GONNA LOOK DOWN AT THE GREEN GLOWING BITCH AAARRRGGHH CONVENIENTLY THREW THERE AND SEE HIM ALIVE OR SOMETHING

YEAH USE THE SWORD TO UNDEAD HIM! THAT'S HOW YOU USE SWORDS!

Unbecoming Part 2

So is Jim just gonna Groundhog Day it until everyone is fine? There's only 13 minutes left we're gonna need a bigger movie

Also I screamed so much about everyone's death and now everyone reading this after they already saw the whole thing is gonna shame me for clowning huh

The scene where Blinky is giving his goodbye speech, there are no babies and Steve has a round belly? Did he reabsorb them?? I mean I know Jim is about to un-birth them but he hasn't started yet

JUST HOW FAR BACK IS HE PLANNING TO GO

WAIT HOLD UP EXCUSE ME WHAT

Oh they did NOT just do that. I though he was just gonna go back to like, the start of the movie maybe. Not all the way

Imagine being in your early twenties with as much trauma as this kid has and having to pretend you're 16 again

Somewhere Unkar is complaining because "oh sure NOW it's a good idea"

I know Jim is wondering where Toby is because he was there before. But before, he made an entire meatloaf AND did his homework before leaving the house, so honey maybe wait a minute

For a second I thought Toby wasn't gonna be there and Jim would return to the right time. But there he is!

Alright so they're in school now, did they take the canal and just didn't mention the amulet on screen or did they pass it as if the Unbecoming episode hadn't been that traumatizing? Jim you know what happens when you ignore it

Jim maybe you're being too obvious here lmao

Soooo. Anyway. These whole past years I've rewatched this show over and over and over again are cancelled now?

OKAY AT LEAST WE SAW NANA FOR A SPLIT SECOND THAT'S IRONIC TIMING

So we get the quote again. And Trollhunter Tobias is nice. Cool. Cool AU I mean, but I don't know. I don't knowwww. I've been way too invested in everything to just accept that it never happened?? So uh. Hm. How about this.

Strickler survived because fuck you, and Toby also survived and just has scars now. Maybe a wheelchair but he's fine, also he can use the Warhammer for super speed and make it awesome once he's used to it. Archie and Charlie get freed once they rebuild the bridge (and they were playing scrabble to pass the time). Nomura is still dead because she died on screen and I can't really deny that but she's with Draal so it's okay. Everyone is traumatized but they'll be fine. NotEnrique is still babysitting 500 babies and Steve is about to bring 7 more.

In summary, I reject Groundhog Day ending but everything else was great, as long as it actually happened. It was a good movie. But you can't just cancel years of passion. Having the prospect of a million "canon AUs" sounds great for writing but at the same time nooo you can't do that he didn't have to go back THAT far HHHHH

I liked the movie. It was a great watch and a satisfying end to a franchise, but I gotta say I do not fancy the ending of it so I will from now on be in denial. I honestly feel kind of betrayed that this show was my whole life for so long, I learned every smallest fact, and they basically deleted it from existence. I know what they were going for, I think, but no thank you I will be going with my own opinion. Still gonna rewatch it a few dozen times though ✌🏻

And that concludes my live commentary that was supposed to be a small handful of notes. Feel free to shame me for my opinions. See ya!

#rott spoilers #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #this got a LOT longer than expected #i'd be surprised if anyone actually read the whole thing but oh well #i just. have a LOT of opinions #i started out so optimistic too #mpreg mention #can't believe i have to use that tag on a post about canon

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pepsicup · 3 years

Text

Chaotic Commentary: We Have Always Lived In The Castle

Welcome to my thought process when I watch movies!

The arrival of a cousin with ulterior motives threatens the claustrophobic and isolated world of two sisters and their uncle. (Oooof, bitch. I already know Sebastian is gonna look damn fine in this movie.)

Watched: April 22nd, 2021

Opening

Alrighty, right off the bat, the opening music giving me very much throwing it back at summer solstice 1531. Might fuck around and show some ankle, who knows

Um miss girl, first off all, i know damn well you aren't wearing a stark white shirt and capris shorts after labour day. And secondly, you gotta work on your self care babygirl, you are looking rough

Okay, so noted; there is clearly something off about this girl because i know when i personally rummage through family keepsakes, i don't have a hannibal look on my face

I don't know if you guys know this but your house...it needs a little 5 minute crafts, diy, extreme makeover: home edition treatment

Ohhhh baddie alert, baddie alert, baddie alert. That chick’s silhouette already got me acting up. Yes sink low to the ground girl, drop it down for me

Short monologue before being cut in half by that creepy ass stare, gotcha. I literally needed more nightmare fuel, thanks bestie

‘A change is coming, and nobody knows it’ how much more change can you get, your house is literally in shambles girl one battle at a time

First Act

Ah, here we are, title screen. Very cottagecore.

Timeskip: What did happen last tuesday, I must know...the suspense is suffocating

I’m not one to judge, but that record doesn’t sound like a life-coaching audio.

Oh heyyy there's a kitty!

Yes hun, that is a working tap, your telekinesis is redundant. Eleven from stranger things eat your heart out.

Alexandra! Babyyy Daddario! Step on my face or domesticate me into a housewife, i beg of you. The uncle tho, he isn't it.

Chill out Mary, you’re just running errands. Why is she walking in a slow-mo naruto run like that. She is giving me a schizophrenic Napoleon Dynamite vibes.

Wait...is her name Meerkat?

Oh, its Merricat...nah i like mine better lmaooo.

Her inner monologue is making cackle because it sounds like a Gabbie Hanna original piece 💀

Okay what i got from the coffee shop scene was Stella is also a grade A baddie, I want to commit double homicide on those two douches, and i want to invite miss meerkat to my lunch table because awwww. She's just different leave her alone.

Wow, the village folk really know how to talk shit huh? Well, I can eat rats like all of them for every meal of the day, plus snackie snacks. Go fuck yourselves, thoroughly.

God that family needs to smoke some weed or something. Why do I feel like the sisters are about to kiss...and the uncle sounds like he means risky business. Very bad vibes here, back to you in the studio.

Ooooh, miss daddy really knows how to roll her tongue huh? Again, very much cottagecore ‘history says they were just really good friends’ aesthetic. And so many bops in this movie, kinda feel the need to throw it back or do the renegade.

Why do I feel like this next scene is just a posh episode of gossip gorl. Sipping tea and spewing nonsense. Rum cake? No thanks, babygirl. Oh but here comes uncle wanky, whisking away Lucille with his talk of arsenic.

Yes. Speak 8 course meal to me daddy...fuck, now I’m hungry. Okay the uncle isn’t so bad I guess, very poetic and philosophical. Yes, very nice. Sucks that he was roofied and turned to a professor X cosplay for solace, though.

Timeskip: Last Thursday huh? We are in for a rollercoaster folks.

*she glares in rhubarb pie and possibly shelved jam*

OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING, I SAW THE SIDE/BACK OF HIS HEAD AND MY HEART STOPPED. He has a very nice shaped head, yes, pleasing to the eye.

Hi sirrrr, I have a pocket full of horses, trojan and some of them used. Pls let me ride you in the little red corvette. Pick me, Charles, choose me, love me.

Real talk, I feel so bad for Mary Katherine (I literally almost typed Gallagher at the end lmaooo thanks molly shannon) she is obviously struggling with something and Constance looks like she is very traumatized.

But I still think there’s something not right about Mary. Miss girl no one walks like that (thats a lie, it would probably be me after a night with Bucky barnes) and I love me a little witchy goodness. But not enough to start locking up my bedroom like it’s Area 51 and having secret rituals at my super exclusive, diy bohemian temple in the middle of the woods.

OH MY FUCKING GOD PLEASE SPARE ME FROM THE FEELING I JUST FELT IN THIS ROOM ON THIS VERY DAY IN APRIL, MAMA FUCKING MIA

when he stood up—bitch I’m gone, I’m his whore now. Sorry, I am owned by this man. Bye I was literally launched off earth for a moment there, kinda chillin’ in dead space, standby.

Okay I took a break for a moment. I’m cool, I’m collected, play button is a go. NOPE, GIRL MY MOUTH IS FOREVER OPEN, AND I DUNNO IF I WAS MY BODY TELLING ME TO KNEEL IN FRONT OF HIM OR WHAT—SOMEONE HOLD ME

Current state: I am hugging my knees and wasting away under my blankets. I paused and played and paused and played because I cant go more than 2 seconds of looking at him.

Okay, I’m all good.

All I keep saying is no...no ...NO, louder and louder every time he opens his mouth, ‘got a hug for your cousin?’ um not a cousin but yes, right bitch for that job present for attendance. Here ✋🏻

Girl I’d run like the wind, too, this kitty isn’t gonna dry itself, nyuuuooom, double time! Fall in, Rogers. Gotta keep up. 🏃🏻‍♀️

Timeskip: Last Friday night, yeah we dance on table tops and we took too many shots, I think I gave Charles a blo-oh-job, whoops—

Ah, see I knew there was something fruity about Charles, hopefully he kisses a boy in this. Would love to see that.

Uh oh, the way he just pops that fruit into his mouth...I fine, I’m totally fine. Mentally I am... the way he chews if making my oral fixation quake

‘now that’s a handsome cat’ sir if you don’t—he wonders why he is such a fucking meme, this is why Sebastian.

‘Jonassss’ which one of the brothers, tho?

Ah yes, the best of friends; Meerkat, Frankie Jonas and a middle-aged Carter Baizen. Ugh mega sad that this is the closest I will get to see Charles pet a puthycat though.

Why don’t you slap my ass like a flapjack pancake, Charles. You won’t.

OMG so quirky 🤪when you steal his shirts 🥺🤪🥰

Who the is venice, Charles? Who, who, what are you, a fucking owl? WHO’S VENICE AND WHY IS SHE YOUR FAVOURITE?! sorry i had to get that out of my system, iconic cinema shall not be overlooked.

all this commentary is fresh from my chicken breast brain by the way

All i heard out of that little inspirational, facebook-esque speech at the dinner table was was shoes. Also peep Frédéric Chopin banging in the background noise, a little Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 to keep party goin’

Charles...that is your cousin.

It isn't a PHASE, Charles. Let him be emo over his dead brother and great tragedy of losing his legs then gaining the likeness of sir patrick stewart. Therefore, he will not forget.

Oh...i’ll sit down i guess.

I COULD LITERALLY—...I could literally watch him eat for the rest of my life pls sir have murthy

Grocery boy...hmmm reminds me of a yee ole jingle i heard in my youth. What can i say, I’m a connoisseur of the classics my friends.

Sidenote: I’m getting vietnam flashbacks to singing ‘carol of the bells’ at the elementary christmas concert. I am overstimulated. And not in a good way.

Charles...do not add that newspaper clipping of your cousin to your personal spank bank, pls.

Timeskip: Last weekend, alright. What did we do; brewski’s with the boys? Hockey night in canada? one legged race? I’m dying to know...

Very nice form charles, you’ve almost dug right through the wood. A real mans-man here if we are being honest. I’ve never in whole life seen a construction crew do better than Charles Blackwood.

I could watch him do this all day.

Pearl necklace huh? Me too, girl.

‘I’m beginning to think, that my spells no longer work’ 8-year-old me, sitting in a bath full of salt and a charm bracelet of rock candy dissolving in the water after my fifth attempt to transform into a mermaid

Aw, but i would sit out there and eat a sandwich with Meerkat. Hell yeah, we can go halfsies on a BLT no problem 😢

oh...

oh no...Charles.

Here is my first sexual grievance, the way he carried that sack over his shoulder, mmm yes i have been fed most wonderful nutrients. BUT NEXT?! THE TWO FINGERS LINE AND THE FUCKING MOTION HE DID AND SAYING SHE WASN’T GOING DEEP ENOUGH PLS

what is with this man and gold...alright debutante Lance Tucker simmer down.

And the ‘hot’ thing, ‘needing a bath’? miss daddy is working it in for her cousin real hard, sweet home alabama all summer long

HEY LET'S ALL GO SWIMMING IN MY POOOL, AND BY POOL I MEAN BATHTUB, AND BY SWIMMING I MEAN SEXXXX--

Oh, so there’s this ominous whistling, nice, a blade kink, cool, and Charles serving body audi audi audi audi all the damn day. Hi sirrrrr. God i just love his chest, man. Its just so buff. He looks this good for what? And in front of his cousin...ew? um child, anyways so

the way my stomach clenched in the most uncomfortable way just shows that my body doesn't care about my comfort when it comes to thirsting and simping. He didnt have to look at her like that or fucking back her out

oh to be a chair...

esteemed audience member sac is a little tired of hearing cousin charles and cousin mary call each other cousin charles and cousin mary

Charles, eat your fruit and shut the fuck up. But also, hi sirrr.

I see you, Constance, I see you...tig ol’ bitties 👀

Timeskip: It’s Monday without the benefit of a sebastian stan, full frontal nude scene...smh

baby, just give up on the step and go fondle some plants please, i’m begging, stop at once. or, i spoke too soon?

If i have to hear sebastian say constance one more time i am going suck down all the arsenic i can find...he just says it so weird lmaoooo i hate it

Climax (make it happen, Charles 🙄)

Aw i love fruity, coffee shop, car men AU’s

that shot of him looking over his shoulder single handedly sent to into a spiral...what the fuck are you doing to me, Charles.

uh oh...one of the car men is madddd

OH OKAY WELL, WELL, FUCK ME, WELL

why dont you just come up behind her and literally growl in her ear what the fuck, Charles. I swear sebastian plays his characters just to make women go feral sometimes.

Sir! Sir! This IS A WENDY’S, SIR, THAT’S YOUR COUSIN--

NOT THE MILK CARTON

PLEASE I’M LITERALLY KILLING MYSELF LAUGHING, WHY IS HE DRINKING IT LIKE THATTTTT

that little ‘aahh’ at the end when he drank it all got me, oh my fucking jesus. Hold on i need a minute, my stomach hurts from laughing my guts out.

Oooof but the eye-contact and the expressions are computing mega well to my chicken breast brain so fanfics will be written and sin will be committed so help me lord jesus on the cross almighty, amen (sorry i’m ex-catholic, its just my go-to)

pfffft that is so iconic, Mary is literally gathering sticks in the pitch black woods while Charles basically puts down his own wood for her sister to pick up on fjgrebgnuierijiojfd, i’m dying

why does he have to pull that poetic, sensitive stud act...just give us the goods charles, slap someone i’m begging you

This is like star wars all over again, they served head-on into on-coming incest traffic

*holds up finger guns* sir, ma’am i’m gonna need you to put your hands behind your heads and get down on your knees exactly 8.92 feet apart, this is a citizen’s arrest

but, i too would like to slow dance and make plans with him. Maybe we’ll go deep in the garden with two fingers on top of the rhubarb, maybe we will commit arson, who knows...

Meerkat continues to be my every mood, she really said:

Timeskip: Oh shit, its tuesday ya’ll, grab your party hats it’s about to get funky

Charles, if you don’t shut the fuck up and stop yelling out her name i will suffocate you between my thighs, electrocute your arm until it falls limp and shoot you with a grenade launcher, don’t make me do it

And yes, am i currently squirming in my seat because of the way he is smoking the pipe and hollowing his cheeks, what about it?

Second Act

Yes baby girl! you trash that room like ozzy osbourne and tommy lee did to that motel on tour in 1982. Go, Meerkat, go!

Charles holding those sticks in both hands is the equivalent to a 1-year-old holding those little cocktail weenies, it has the same energy and i’m dying over it

Try to tell me it's not the same picture:

You can't.

Oh shit, its getting heated now. Mary’s in trouble.

Everything isn’t making sense at the same time its all coming together, i am confused, frightened, a little bit horny, but mostly just entirly overwhelmed. Mom...can you come pick me up, i’m scared.

Oh my god! knew it! i knew i knew the actor that plays the uncle, he's the creepy thin man from charlie's angels! Wowza, what a world.

Oh no...i’m flashing back to vietnam again, the fucking bells dude i’m tellin’ ya. There is so much going on, i feel everything but nothing at the same time, help...

NOOOO HER ARTSY BOHEMIAN WITCH COTTAGECORE JARS! THE OUTRAGE! SHE CANT CAST SPELLS ANYMORE, HER POWERS ARE LOST!

a CURSH! NOT A CURSH!

What in the criss angel mindfreak is going on in here on this day? Who are they? And why is the broad such a bitch...oh is she the mom? My bad. Pops seems nice though. Yes, indeed.

Awh, hiii frankie jonasss. 🥰

Oh here we go with the eating again. If i have to see him flex his jaw one more time i’m gonna go feral. And on the usual, loud and obnoxious noises like the ones he is making when he takes a bite, or chew or swallow food/a drink like the who fucking milk debacle. But he just makes it okay? Maybe its just my eating disorder bias coming into play but how can someone be sexy while eating, or smug? Like huh???

‘Why dont you like me?’ WHY DO YOU CARE CHARLES, GODDAMN IT

Is he playing the sad boi card reallyyy? You want someone to say thank you? Put yourself to good use then. I can think of a lot of ways you can use that mouth better than going on these strange mini-monolgues like some tortured writer with a kink for control...and breatheee

And she’s back with the Eleven telekinesis, sweet kat that is a meer you have running water! Pfft she is actually dressed like eleven too, like what. Oh wait did i just uncover the plot?

Breaking News: Eleven holds a whole town hostage.

Jesus with Charles eating, Mary getting the sudden urge commit arson, miss daddy looking so fucking fine that i would literally throw myself in front of a bus just to get her attention, and uncle X with his weird theatre act: my blood pressure must be through the roof

Wow hes got a temper, but poor connie, shes a hot mess lmaooo

Oh god...oh god okay this is happening, oh wow, you didn't even get through dinner first charles jesus. Listen, i never give choking up on the first date but if i had the chance...i don't want any sausages other than his, i said what i said

and it keeps going?? ummmmmm i ummmmmm, i don’t have words. I was not warned of this savagery and i don’t know if i’m going to be able to write for anyone other than Charles for a whillllleeee, hun, apologies

Good to know he also uses his super soldier senses in another universe to sense a fire deep in his loins like the dramatic king he is

Now he is driving away and laying on the horn, nice

Oh ho ho, yessssss my coffee shop baddie, my black coffee queeeeeennn Stelllaaaaa. She said, Superhero mode real quick.

ummmm uncle x with the sick mustache...thats certain death? I mean if you are into that sort of thing, have at it.

Okay still driving, people are crying over the bed burning into dust, the heavily disable man is still smoking the good stuff...got it.

Big red truck go Honk, Honk.

Oh here come all the old, white men. Lovely.

‘oh-hooo yeah, thats a fireeeee’ as far as old white men go, that was pretty fucking funny to me

Yeah its gonna be in the arms of the angels real soon if you girls dont get the fuck out????

‘We’re firemen’ and i’m a homo, you want a gingerbread cookie or something? put out the damn fire PLEASE 💀

Ummm you’re too late, i was already wet before you got that camera spray shot, dawg, oh but that poor camera guy lol

AND WEI’RE GOONA LETIT BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN, everybody its a singalong

hi, yeah...fuck off, jim

NO YOU DUMB ASSHOLES YOU KNOCKED OVER STELLA MY COFFEE MAMA

charles, you greedy bastard i dont know if should be ashamed when i say that i would still let him top me quite violently even still

Wow this rave got out of hand really fast, i blame marilyn manson

another day, another professor X 😪🔫💀☠️🔥🔪 𝚛𝚒𝚙, 𝕗𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡

i swear to go if anything happens to either my coffee mama or baby miss daddy i will reign hellfire.

Oh so it takes a gunshot for Charles to do a 360 running man but not a jay gatsby meets canadian, hockey riot, emo rave. Gotcha. Hes a man with a code.

That’s what you get for hoeing after your cousin, constance. This is all your fault!

Ending

Timeskip: Ooohhh, yesturrrrdayyyy all my troubles seems so far away--

hunny that ain’t the moon, thats your super secret boho alter

Noooo the kitchennnn, that was my favourite room, other than the bathroom for obvious reasons, I hope the milk cartons are okay...👀

I guess meerkat isn't getting her num-nums, and charles is just going to have to live with charred fruit if he decides to come back

FRANKIE JONAS! THANK GOD!

Oohhere'ss the tea, it's about damn time! I called it! I knew ms variant mongoose was the one who did the fucky things! But i was shocked to find out that Mary was the favourite child over connie, hmm very much bad parenting

ooooh, knock knock, is it charlie-boy? oh, thats disappointing, its just that gossip chick and her husband, boooooo

Never again...never. We get it baby daddy.

oh? another knock? HAHAHAHAHA ITS THE FIRE GUY LMAOOO, what a king. He reminds me of stan lee!

What aare these people doing, they aren't goddess you give offerings to so that your crops will be plentiful, fuck off man. ANOTHER KNOCK..

and i opp-- herreeeees charlie!

‘friends’ sir you were halfway in her pantaloons, stop trying to act all innocent, the fuck. Wow hes really going for it huh?

did he just rip the chain off? Oh charles relax, its door, you don't need to moan like that.

Uhm, i love connie, so fuck you charles you twisted, manipulative burnt cornstalk of a human being. Oh yeah throw a hissy fit, that's real attractive, keep going, she’ll totally say yes.

Oh wait NO DON'T DO THAT, NO THAT'S A DOOR. And another door? NO GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY DADDY ALEXANDRA, SHES MINE.

YOU LITTLE BITCH BOY, GET OFF! WTF!

*standing ovation* give it up for meer-to-the-kat, bravo kid! OH NO HES DEAd, YOU CAN STOP NOW

hahahaha guess whos deep in the garden now, Charles.

Ooh and we are back to start, nice. Children, she's a seasoned murder, might wanna chill on the whole bit you got going on.

Good, smile andddd scene!

Final Thoughts

Okie Dokie, I actually liked this movie a lot.

The acting was absolutely phenomenal, especially on Alexandra’s Daddario and Taissa Farmiga’s part, the characters were so well played. They focused in on so different points of view in this story that it captured the chaos that they were living individually and as a group under one roof. It constantly kept you on edge with the strange nuances in their dialogue, unnerving pauses and the progression of the condition of each character.

It was great. The aesthetic was there, the small but necessary breaks with dark humour really kept the story flowing and most of all, the fervour. It was everywhere, in their emotions or outbursts like Charles at the dinner table and on the stairs, or the way the townspeople kept adding fuel to their own personal hell. And I must admit, it's hard to make characters like Jim the firefighter relevant, but every person that this story involves has a distinct purpose and significance to the plot.

The only negative thing I could think of was I just wish there was more, I wanted it to be longer so that the small gaps in the movie could have been powerful. Okay, what else. Yes, Charles Blackwood, despite all of...that, will make a great character for me to touch on and has a lot of interesting qualities that I will be sure to tap into. Oh! And the only reason why no one else is getting the stan award was that my coffee mama was the only character who wasn't off the rails or just a terrible waste of human life! We stan!

Hoped you enjoyed this and my questionable thought process, I’m gonna go now...bye lol

Overall Score: 8.5/10

🏆 Honorary Stan Award: Stella Ella Ola, Clap Clap Clap. Periodt.

#we have always lived in the castle #castle daddy #sac reviews

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twinferns · 3 years

Text

im screaming it's time to talk ab ep 4 of tfatws

i adored this episode so much i wanna talk ab it and all of you have to listen!!

major spoilers below this line read at your own discretion!!!

im warning you

alright let's start

- the infomercial thing for the global repatriation council absolutely sent me

- i want john walker's ugly ass face off my screen

- steve rogers would NEVER lash out like that im absolutely fuming

- the man who spit in his face should be made a national hero

- i love how bucky did the whole "hypothetically" thing

- oh so zemo is their sugar daddy then

- i love karli she's amazing i wont be argued with

- OH MY GOD BUCKY CHOKING ZEMO HOT HOT HOT

- oh god ouch oh no not the notebook being steve's im gonna cry oh god

- LMAO PLEASE "i like 40s music so..."

- this marvin gaye conversation is truly giving me life

- oh my god they look so hot, like sam in that suit? i cant i cant. bucky faking being the winter soldier? god im living

- THE AESTHETIC OF LOW TOWN IN MADRIPOOR OH MY GOD I LOVE IT

- ZEMO'S DOING HIS LIL DANCEY DANCE

- ew not the snake drink im sorry sam

- i think it's unhealthy how many times I've rewatched the scene where bucky beats them all up as he's pretending to be the winter soldier but he's so hot, ik it shouldn't be and it's probably traumatic for him but-

- sam asking bucky if he's good makes me so soft

- LMAO THE SLOW MO WALKING TO FRENCH MUSIC

- IF ZEMO DOESNT GET HIS GRUBBY ASS HANDS OFF OF BUCKY I'LL KILL HIM

- not sarah calling sam they're so screwed

- SHARON OMG YES IM SO EXCITED

- oh so she's all bitter and stuff like i don't blame her and it makes her character so much more interesting

- sam in a turtle neck is incredible hot

- ok so sharon is cool but the pet psychopath line was out of pocket and not in a good way

- look at sharon beating everyone up like a badass

- god the difference between walker screaming "do you know who i am" and sam just saying "you know who he is" ab bucky is absolutely amazing

- bucky and sam have a single braincell and sharon is babysitting it

- zemo really said "get in loser we're going shopping!!" - THE PARALLEL NEW FAVORITE PARALLEL WITH SAM ASKING FOR BUCKY TO MOVE HIS SEAT UP AND BUCKY SAYING NO

- sharon is so god damn suspicious she must work for the power broker like the luxury car? luxury apartment? the lady she met?

- karli talking ab wanting to be a teacher is making me sad

- walker needs to butt his ugly nose out of sam and bucky's business

- "that shield represents a lot of things to a lot of people including me" NO STOP PLEASE - i desperately want bucky to steal the shield

- you know i respect karli for stealing the food but idk ab blowing up that building

- OMG IT'S AYO IM SCREAMING IM SO EXCITED

so basically zemo is bucky and sam's sugar daddy, and bucky and sam doing better with each other. like how sam called bucky buck and he didn't correct sam

is it bad that i trust zemo more than walker?

anyways ik this is very late shush im tired and busy. im gonna try and be more on time for this coming ep

#tfawts #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sharon carter #baron zemo #helmut käutner #marvel #mcu #steve rogers #falcon #captain america #john walker #us agent #sebastian stan #anthony mackie

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years

Text

notable moments from The Zanzibar Marketplace Job

leverage 2.12

Hardison: Two weeks in Tokyo. We'd have a great time.

Parker: What are we stealing?

Hardison: We don't steal anything. We'd be tourists.

Parker: Not following you

hardison: BE DOMESTIC WITH ME PLS

- - - - -

Waitress (puts down beer): There you go.

Eliot: Ahh. Thank you, sweetheart.

Waitress: Anytime.

(Nate kicks Eliot under the table)

Eliot: What? Really? What, I can't have a friend?

Nate: Join a softball team

me whenever eliot flirts with someone other than parker or hardison

- - - - -

Tara: You know he's drinking again.

Eliot: I'm not an idiot, Tara.

Tara: I was told this was a problem.

Eliot: The drinking is not a problem. It's a symptom

this!!!

also eliot’s hair braids are adorable

- - - - -

(Sterling walks into the bar behind Eliot, approaches table)

Nate: Eliot, I'm gonna ask you not to do anything violent.

Eliot: What? What are you talking about? I only use violence As a - as a - as an appropriate response.

Sterling: Hello, Nate.

(Eliot’s face turns murderous and he turns to punch Sterling in the face, then proceeds to throw him down on a table and continue punching him. The bartender moves to call the police, but Hardison stops him by passing him money, Parker watches enthusiastically)

Tara: And this is?

Nate: James sterling. We used to work together. Insurance.

Tara: He seems to rub Eliot the wrong way.

Nate: You think?

(Nate walks over to where Eliot is still beating Sterling, and now has him by the throat)

parker and hardison literally have heart eyes for eliot in this scene ??? ot3 ???

hardison bribing the bartender not to call the police? parker watching like she’s being turned on or something? eliot’s face right before he hears sterling’s voice? sterling hitting eliot with a stick? CHAOTIC

- - - - -

Tara: Okay. Is there any chance she took the egg?

Parker: No. Maggie's the most honest person we know. But besides that, she's okay.

parker adores maggie

- - - - -

Sterling: You live and work here?

Nate: Yeah.

Sterling: I like the old place better.

Hardison: Do not mention the old offices.

people that have no rights: sterling

- - - - -

they had a legit P I L E of passports ready ??? SO MANY

- - - - -

Tara: Okay, you cannot out-bureaucrat a former Soviet Union bureaucrat. These guys gamed the most corrupt system on earth for 50 years. Paperwork's not gonna cut it. They're used to trading favors, not forms.

- - - - -

Nate: I just need some proof.

Parker: It was an inside job. Average keypad hack time is 1 minute, 9.3 seconds. Inner door access card takes at least 30 seconds for anybody but Hardison, and then the vault was an old Mark II Remington. In and out average - 7 minutes, 40 seconds. But these thieves, they did it in 5 minutes, 12 seconds. Maggie had the best access, so the real thieves only had to get her codes and badge. Yeah, only way they could pull it off that fast.

Sterling: How long has she been sitting..

sterling being utterly BAFFLED by parker is my aesthetic

+ she’s wearing a leather jacket AND a cute red flannel,,, the bi energy is strong

- - - - -

Parker: It's your first time being a fugitive, so I made you a bag..

Maggie: Thank you, Parker. It's not that I don't appreciate getting out of jail, I just can't live my life a fugitive.

Nate: But you're not a fugitive.

Parker: Passports, money, lock picks.

Nate: You were released, not broken out.

Parker: Toothpaste, explosives. Do not mix these up.

Maggie: Thank you, Parker.

Parker: This looks like gum. Not gum. Diamond-edged file blade.

Nate: Yeah, yeah. That's great.

Parker: She needs this stuff.

maggie is such a Mom™ rolling with parker’s antics and we love her for that

also PARKER IS TRYING SO HARD TO BE NICE BECAUSE SHE LIKES AND CARES ABOUT MAGGIE AND WE LOVE TO SEE IT

- - - - -

Parker: So, I took your advice and did the whole touristy thing. Went to the museum, and it was amazing.

Hardison: You see?

Parker: Yeah. They have a guardian T-840 security system. I've only seen those things in books. And the motion detectors - ooh, gorgeous! Six digital receptors. Six!

Hardison: What about the paintings?

Parker: What about the paintings?

she reads about security systems in books? omg I love it

- - - - -

Parker: We meet on internet.

hi I’m sorry but the way she said it was hilarious

- - - - -

Hardison: Alexander's got a travel visa to the United Arab Emirates. He's also setting up accounts in the Caymans, Macau, and Switzerland.

Nate: Yes, countries with no extradition treaty, tax havens

- - - - -

Tara: I got this one.

Eliot: Really? What are you gonna say to him? 'cause we got no cover story. We got no background on this cat.

Tara: Okay. That's it, then. I won't say anything. Really. Not one word. Just when he turns around and looks at you, do that thing with your eyes that scares people.

Eliot: I don't... know what you're talking about.

Tara: Oh, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Eliot: Pffff.

(Tara sits down next to Chernov and grabs his lunch, taking a bite)

Chernov: What the... Who the hell are you? Do I know you? Did Samuels send you?

(Tara moves a little, still chewing Chernov’s lunch)

Chernov: I paid them off. I took care of it.

(Tara looks over her shoulder at Eliot, who is scowling)

Chernov: Oh, god. Please. Is this about the item?

(Tara throws up her hands)

Chernov: I didn't know. No one told me.

(Tara checks her watch and stands up)

Chernov: Wait! Here. This is all I have. (hands her envelope) I'll back out. I'm sorry.

(Tara gives Chernov back his lunch)

Chernov: Sorry! (walks away)

Tara (rejoins Eliot and gives him the envelope): What we imagine is always so much better than the reality.

Eliot: Like love?

this whole scene was iconic

- - - - -

Sophie: Well, the prospective buyers are invited by their black-market contacts. They show up, they verify the merchandise, and they make a sealed bid. Hey, um, shine an ultraviolet light on that card.

(Hardison pulls a light from a bag and shines in on the card)

Eliot: Seriously? You have one just laying around?

he had one on his keychain in The Ice Man Job and boy do I love continuity

- - - - -

Tara: Parker, double reverse on three.

(Tara places envelope on tray, Parker takes envelope and passes it to Eliot)

we LIVE for smooth hand-offs

+ eliot did the flip thing with the envelope

- - - - -

Sterling: You're welcome. I don't know how you people ever manage – (flinches at feedback on com)

[Interior Van]

Hardison: Oh, I'm sorry, man. That just happens sometimes with the ear buds - You know, feedback.

[Embassy Hallway]

Sterling: As I was saying, the method - (flinches at feedback on com)

[Interior Van]

Hardison: Sorry.

[Embassy Hallway]

Sterling: This isn't gonna stop until I - (flinches at feedback on com)

[Interior Van]

Hardison: Stop talking. Shh. Please

PARKER’S SMILE AT HARDISON FUCKING WITH STERLING? AMAZING

- - - - -

parker is wearing a flannel now :)

+ the leather jacket she wears over it a little later

- - - - -

(Sterling pulls phone from his pocket)

Eliot: What are you doing?

Sterling (dialing): Calling the police. They don't get to dictate to -

Eliot (grabs phone): We're not calling the cops. Two hostages means they can kill one to make a point. (throws phone down on table) All right, listen. There's three types of calls we can get next. One - amateur. Cash and a dump site. Number two - professional. That's wire transfers and multiple-location drop-offs. (glances at Sterling) And three - targeted.

Hardison: Targeted toward us?

Eliot: No. Towards a specific ransom demand - Not cash. (looks at Faberge Egg case)

Sterling: You're not risking a $9 million artifact...

Eliot: It might be the only chance.

Sterling: ...on a hunch! Let me run this. We track the calls, find out whoever it is, have the police surround -

Eliot (walks around table to stand with team): Sterling, I'm the retrieval specialist. That's my job.

Sterling: Your friends' lives hang in the balance, and you're gonna take your cues off a punch-up artist instead of me? (closes case and takes phone from table) Call me when you need me. 'cause you will need me. (leaves with case)

eliot being the focused, determined retrieval specialist that’s hell bent on getting everyone back safe? we love to see it

+ parker, hardison, and tara having 100% faith in him standing beside him

- - - - -

Eliot: He's angry. We took his payday. (phone rings) All right, all right. (pulls phone toward him and hits button for intercom) Go.

Distorted Voice: If you follow our instructions, your friends will be returned unharmed.

Eliot: We agree. Tell us what you want.

Distorted Voice: You owe me

(Hardison uses computer to remove distortion)

Alex: $9 million.

Hardison: It's Alex. It's Alexander.

[Embassy Hallway]

Alex: I still have a buyer for the egg. Return it, and I return your friends.

[I.Y.S. Insurance Offices]

Eliot: I want proof of life now.

Alex: Agreed

it’s cool to see how Retrieval Specialist™ eliot spencer actually works

- - - - -

Nate: Yeah. Yeah, I was lying to you for your own good.

Maggie: Quick little hint for your next marriage - that excuse does not fly with any woman on earth.

Nate: Oh, go- next marriage? That's really nice to say.

Maggie (hitting Nate with spray can): You know what? I've heard that one before.

Nate: Heard what before? What are you talking about?

Sam: Are you actually having this argument now?!

Nate: She started it.

Maggie: He started it

chaotic ex spouses

- - - - -

Eliot: Listen, listen - we know who's behind this, all right? We know what they want. We have the upper hand here. We do.

COMPETENCY!!! HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HES TALKING ABOUT AND WE LOVE TO SEE IT

- - - - -

they made a taser out of two ends of a live wire and a flamethrower with a match and an aerosol I love it

- - - - -

Sam: Give me that. The thing everyone screws up when they fake their own death - no body. Well, that can work, but it leaves no suspect for the police to chase.

Alex: You won't get away with this.

Sam: No, you will. Of course, I've left an evidence trail a mile wide, Visa applications, accounts in offshore banks.

Alex: You were my friend!

Sam: I was your employee. And thanks to your screw-ups, I was an employee with no pension, no savings, no nothing. That was really, really unacceptable to me.

Nate: Well, it's a good plan. What? I- I - listen, I spent 20 years chasing, you know, guys that faked their own death. I mean, this one - it's pretty well thought-out.

Sam: Exactly. Alexander Lundy, desperate for cash, turns to violence. And his poor assistant, Sam, loyal to the last, caught in the cross fire at a ransom drop gone bad.

that’s actually really smart

- - - - -

eliot’s sly grin right before the flashback revealing how they got away with it

- - - - -

(Alex vomiting into a barrel)

Parker (handing him a cloth): It's okay. First bomb's always the hardest (cringes)

- - - - -

Eliot: Was it because they wanted us to hear Sam's performance? It's 101, man. After that, (looks hardison up and down) you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out.

Maggie: You know, people underestimate you, Eliot.

Nate: That's kind of the point

HE CONSIDERES HARDISON TO BE AKIN TO A ROCKET SCIENTIST

- - - - -

Reporter (on television): And that's not all. Today, based on his work recovering the priceless artifact, James Sterling was invited to join Interpol. He's a real-life Sherlock Holmes.

Parker: Interpol? Seriously?

Hardison: Sterling's career gets another boost off of our hard work.

Tara: We didn't even get paid.

Hardison: Nope.

Tara: I hate this guy.

Eliot (taps his beer bottle on Tara's): Now you're part of the team. (walks away)

THAT is what it takes lmfao

also eliot was wearing a flannel in that scene

#leverage 2.12 #leverage 2x12 #the zanzibar marketplace job #leverage #leverage season 2 #season 2 #notable moments #mine

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catboyminato · 4 years

Text

punk!Minato brain rot at 2 am headcannons isn’t this quality content

do I wanna know and daddy issues as a person

he has an undercut bc I said so 🔫

probably gets dress coded like every day tbh (that’s disgusting and rude ❤️ his fit is incredible 😌)

leather jackets and doc martens type beat

probably customized his Gekkoukan uniform so much it doesn’t even look like a uniform 😭😭

canon: hello my name is minato nice to meet u ig

this Minato: why the FUCK do u a have a gun and can I try it and what the FUCK is going on out there what is that ugly ass green that graces my delicate eyes

Mitsuru “oh wow! I hate him.” kirijo

SEES has a fuck jar for every time he says fuck

minato, opening a door: what’s up fuckers

Minato, making a sandwich: where the fuck is the bread

Minato, watching TV: what the fuck im not crying it’s just dusty as fuck in here

SEES, broke: pls,,,,stop

“kIrIjO-sAn wHeN dO i gEt tO bLoW sHiT uP”

extremely disappointed that his persona is Orpheus he wanted smth cooler

“who the fuck plays a Lyre?? what the fuck is this?? intro to theatre?? give me the cool big scary one that popped out of u rn” —Minato Arisato

Orpheus: :,(

“fuck the system and eat the rich”

“what about Mitsuru-Senpai?”

“eat. the. rich.”

Mitsuru absolutely despises this man with a burning passion

junpei thinks he’s cool (and is jealous but who wouldn’t be tbh)

yukari thinks he’s refreshing compared to miss “I SiGneD YoU uP fOr SUMMEr ScHool” and mr “pRoTein”

now she’s stuck with mr “good morning everyone, *looks at Mitsuru* not you though, you can choke”

at least he has a sense of style 😽

he doesn’t like Mitsuru (omg what gave that away 🙀)

he thinks she’s 1. too stuck up 2. is rich and eat the rich and 3. is partially the cause of this whole mess 😻

no longer boy with headphones he’s boy with foul mouth 😌

lowkey kinda smart but you’d never be able to tell

✨tattoos ✨

literally always coming back to the dorm with bruises and scratches and nobody knows why

spoiler: it’s bc he’ll hear ppl talking shit about his friends (yeah even Mitsuru🔪) and will beat the shit out of them 😼

he got into a brawl in the hallway with 5 kids after he heard them talking shit about Shinji after he died ❤️ as he should king

Shinjiro and Minato said “tough on outside but softies on inside” rights and that’s what they bond over 😽

they’re lowkey pretty close and bc I said so Minato met Shinji early after exploring that part of town he’s in

now they’re punk buddies 😼 (is Shinji punk agsjashajsh oh well ❤️)

Minato would actually die for each and every one of SEES even if he doesn’t show it

the tough guy facade was born from his parents death as a coping mechanism so he never got hurt again 😝

Minato “im a motherfucking wildcard bitches” Arisato

peircings 😼

he looks scary we know but you’d never guess he spends time with like a 9 year old and buys her dinner and listens to her problems (we stan)

we love a man who can sit and listen 😌✨

yukari saw him buy Maiko takayoki and decided “hmm this is new” and thus began the cycle of “hes not so tough after all”

Junpei’s “he’s not so tough after all” was him spending time with the elderly couple who runs Bookworms 😌

Akihiko noticed how, if he could, Minato would take hits for teammates

someone tried to mess with Fuuka and he sent them to the ✨h o s p i t a l✨

fuukas realization was when the scary looking boy who cuffs his jeans and has tats made friends with her 😽

Mitsuru’s took a hot minute bc uhhhhh slowburn 🤠

hers was how he continuesly tried to help the student body even tho they rejected him bc uh he’s kinda ✨s c a r y✨

which was like?? interesting to her tbh bc these were the kids who dubbed him the outsider and yet he still strived to help them 😾

so she made the twink part of student council

and he kinda went off ngl 😀

and that’s on being a valuable asset ✨

although he only calls Mitsuru “daddy issues” which pisses her off ❤️

her personal ✨d i s c o v e r y✨ is him lending his blazer (HAJSHS the “blazer” covered in pins and chains 😭😭 which is ripped in some places 😽) one day as an umbrella 🥺

“you’ll catch a cold, daddy issues”—says the bitch soaking wet after letting her use his jacket

when he’s a gentleman 😫

when they get past the enemies stage to friends 😩

mitsuru thinks his perspectives are outlandish and refreshing

“just say no tf”—his answer in being told she needs a fiancé

did he lie tho 😭

apologizes for being a dick 🤩

will beat the fuck outta anyone who disrespects his rich friend ❤️

haha kinda scary when he’s mad ❤️

what’s that wipes blood from mouth while smiling aesthetic cause that’s him

fashionable king we love to see it

ceo of smirking

ceo of “hey daddy issues”

ceo of “fuck”

he got his earring stuck to his pillow once and only Shinji knows

“Does it fucking look like I read?” —Minato arisato who read the entire twilight series and is an Edward stan

akihiko likes to brawl with him cuz he thinks his street fighting style is nifty

can literally hear him from a mile away due to his loud ass chains and boots (stealth 0 ❤️)

has small monochromatic Arcana inspired tattoos littered around his torso (it’s a game of where’s Waldo 🤩)

“I don’t listen to pop.”—says Minato on his way to listen to One Direction

Mitsuru likes to ask what each tattoo means (sometimes it’s just like “idk i saw a guy I beat up once have it and I thought it was cool 😼”)

“rude boy” (what not based off the rihhana song where did u get that 🤠) is Mitsuru’s nickname for him

likes collecting pins 🤠

has way too much jewelry yukari will just steal some occasionally 💀

lowkey self conscious about being seen with Mitsuru

lmfao imagine seeing this punk who only wears leather jackets, doc martens and ripped jeans holding hands with the literal polar opposite of him

taking 🖤🩸🛹 and ❤️📚💳 to a whole a new level

he thinks she can do better and doesn’t want to tarnish her name 🤧

mitsuru learned from him it’s not her obligation to give two flippity flying fucks and WILL hold his hand as they walk down the hallways 😌✨

LMFAO imagine ure just a regular student and all of sudden the student council president who owns the whole damn school walks in wearing the foul mouthed blue haired punks jacket 😭

“What in the wattpad”—Gekkoukan

“what in the goth x prep”—SEES

Minato has fine ass eyeliner sorry I don’t make the rules ❤️

in conclusion punk!minato is best Minato

#not me making most of this mitsumina #his aesthetic...the ✨p o w e r✨#slowed songs with reverb are his aesthetic ❤️#mitsumina but make their song ✨r u d e b o y✨#someone draw it #persona 3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #mitsuru kirijo #yukari takeba #junpei iori #fuuka yamigishi #akihiko sanada #shinjiro aragaki #p3 #sakuya shiomi #my shit #door talks #headcannons

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elvencantation · 3 years

Text

aladdin 2019 liveblog

OMG THE WAY THEY GOT HIM TO SING ARABIAN NIGHTS WORKED SO WELL. also the kids are adorable. and the ship

though some of the lyric changes are… a bit too on the nose

too cute first meeting

PARKOUR

oh yes thank you for the songs give me hope. i didn’t even see mulan but i watched enough reviews that i know i dont rly wanna

jafar aint creepy enough. sorry he just isn’t

ahhh his place is so cool! with the hidden stairs and stuff. love shit like that

its not like what? were you planning to give it back? OH it was abu that tracks

OH MY GOD IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO HER DRESSES

also this prince is dressed so badly. wow. so gaudy

why did they add him hes so annoying go away boy

HEY STOP BEING A DICK TO JASMINE JAFAR NOBODY LIKES U ALSO UR OUTFIT IS STUPID

YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO SPEAK TO HER

can we just let rajah eat him pls

omg jasmine trying to get dahlia to pretend she’s the princess. i mean, im not sure if i quite felt the need to include her character, especially as someone trying to convince jasmine to let go of her well meaning ambition and get married

“why are you being weird” omg i love her

jasmine looks so pleased with herself while dahlia is acting so weird

just stop talking dahlia nobody expect u to talk to him just be haughty

DONT GET COCKY DUMBASS OH MY GOD

idk how i feel about jafar apparently being ‘a common thief’ once upon a time, ‘just like aladdin’. like for all we know u stole the hair thingy with magic. we know u a manipulative fuck

also like- how are we gonna handle the her not recognizing him when he’s in prince getup? like, she recognized him in weird servant getup

wait since when was the cave a lion? i thought it was a tiger…

i like how abu smacks him to get him out of gem trance XD

ok so abu already touched a bunch of treasure. and nothing happened. uhhh what

omg the carpet is adorable yes thank you

and aldadin is stepping all over the treasure. i am confusion

ooooo pretty lava!!!

omg its time for the genie!! tho i do wish they hadn’t made him literally blue. ah well. excited to see what will smith can make of it. nobody can top robin williams, but there have been other genies. there will be more (yes i mean broadway. tho i haven’t seen any broadway aladdin shows. i do love their blue outfits for the genie)

also damn i love genie’s gold tattoo/ornament thingys under the cuffs on his arms. want some for myself

WHAT DID U DO TO ABU THATS RUDE

oh my god poor abu having to be the accompaniment. pls tell me u replace him with an orchestra genie, u rly do need one for this song

ok that was short

there we go!

oh this is fun!!!

baklava is magic and should be respected as such

ok the puppet thing is a bit creepy tho i do think they did that in the original as well

uhhh can we nix the rap pls

oh man i love his pants!!

omg the splits i cant

DONT THINK I DIDNT SEE THIS

oh ofc its genie magic that makes him unrecognizable. i mean, lying about his identity was half the plot of the movie but still im a bit sad

omg its time for the big entrance omg

oh god genie why the hat thats bigger than ur body

omg dalia’s approving little expression that was adorable

poor boy looks so uncomfortable

why is it so important that he has so many animals? is that the only way to show wealth? or just the flashiest?

“so yummy boy”???!??! i cant im laughing so hard rn

oh my god this is gonna be so awkward when he has to talk to actual royalty tho not looking forward to the second hand embarrassment

aww i do miss genie turning into weird TV personalities when talking about the animals tho

yuppp i knew it was gonna be this awkward

i cannot do this i have to turn off the volume or i will flee this tab and try to skip this scene when i come back

ok i had to scroll down, and still even reading the subtitles made me embarrassed. why am i like this

MY GOD HER PEACOCK OUTFIT IS SO BEAUTIFUL

WHY ARE YOU MAKING HIM DANCE LIKE THIS MY SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT CANT HANDLE IT GENIE

ok finally he kinda got the hang of it. dont be fanciful genie just copy the other guys pls

bit of a weird dance tho…

oh nooo genie getting fanciful

i went from, oh this is cute to, oh no pls stop

ok now that ppl are clapping i feel less awkward. brain why u gotta do this to me. but also u rly dont have to have aladdin breakdance

ok he jumped on the fountain and this stated going back into ridiculous and why territory

and jasmine ran away. cant blame her. it makes him look kinda like an attention seeking person

awwww dalia’s little ‘excuse me for a moment’ i kinda expected her to scream but this was also cute

my god her room is so pretty. and the moment with the apples was adorable

I AM NOT TEARING UP AT A WHOLE NEW WORLD I AM NOT. I JUST HAVENT WATCHED ANY VERSION OF ALADDIN IN A LONG TIME

i just REALLY LOVE THIS SONG OK IDK WHY IM CRYING. AND THEYRE ADORABLE HELP

and the HARMONIES IVE ALWAYS LOVED THEM!!!

ughhhh he had a moment where he could’ve come clean

oh i love a dramatic near death experience

omg yes destroy the staff how lovely and yes dramatic. can u tell i like some good drama. not the weird relationship kind

ur not the same on the inside. not quite

ARE YOU KIDDING ME U DIDNT NOTICE SOMEONE STEALING FROM U

see this is what he meant by u changing. u can never forget ur past

oh i love the dark instrumental version of ‘never had a friend like me’. also the pretty sparkly magic. always love some good aesthetic cgi

OMG I KNOW THIS IS THE MOMENT FOR HER SONG AND I CANNOT WAIT OMGOGMG

OH MY GOD YES EVEN THO IM SAD NOBODY GOT TO HEAR HER SONG I DO LOVE THIS!! YES YOU KNOW ALL THESE PEOPLE YOU CARE YOU KNOW THEIR NAMES AND THEIR STORIES AND THAT MATTERS

OMG HER BABA IS SO PROUD OF HER AAAAAAA

oh that was a lovely moment. too bad jafar is a massive prick

oh this is interesting! i love a dramatic disappearance. poor guy. drowning, hypothermia, fun stuff to do within a day

love some ice parkour!

👀

WAIT U CANT KILL THE CARPET ITS AN ANIMATE OBJECT WTF THATS RUDE

the decent part of me is glad they didn’t put jasmine in a slave leia type outfit, but the gay part of me is a bit disappointed…

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS PART YES YOU MANIPULATE HIM U CLEVER BOY SLYTHERIN WOULD BE PROUD OF U. EVEN IF U DO HAVE A GRYFFINDOR HEART

omg the dark little smirk on aladdin’s face. u HAVE to admit that was hot

just loOK AT IT I HAD TO GIF IT I HAD NO CHOICE

GET YOUR OWN JAMS. that was cute

“also i want children” 😂

WAIT WAIT HOW DID I NOT PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER OMG THIS IS ADORABLE

PLS TELL ME SHE GOES TO HIS SECRET LITTLE TOWER PLACE

omg this is hilarious “stop thief, your sultan commands it” I CANNOT 😂

DID HE SERIOUSLY GET MARRIED WITHOUT EVEN A CHANGE OF OUTFIT. ah ok sorry shouldn’t have spoken so soon THEY BOTH LOOK STUNNING GOD THE OUTFITS IN THIS MOVIE WERE FUCKING GORGEOUS

i also dont mind the more “feminist” storyline they gave jasmine. it worked

#aladdin 2019 #aladdin 2019 liveblog #blue watches #naomi scott #wow im supre gay ok #mena massoud #i loved him srsly #will smith #not bad not bad #aladdin #princess jasmine #ok making that gif makes me wanna go back and gif some very self indulgent moments #we'll see

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julictcapulet · 3 years

Note

💘 + for all three of our ships!!!!!!

literally MY CHILDREN i love them :’)

AARON &. WILLOW

where they first met and how: Willow was hired as the band’s photographer so she and Aaron met at the photoshoot, and they hit it off right away

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: Sooo long, like it was over a year before feelings were actually confronted. It was a lot of both of them having feelings they ignored because they assumed they’d just go away and then realizing they weren’t going away so they had to hide them because they both thought the other didn’t reciprocate, and then over a year later Aaron got impatient.

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): Aaron for sure.

where their first date was and what it was like: I always imagined their first proper date to be at a bar, probably the same one they’ve been going to since they met, and at first it was awkward because they were both very aware that this was a ~date~ but after like ten minutes, things smoothed out.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): I think after they get their shit sorted out, it was kinda just like....a thing?

who proposes first: Aaron :)

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: Well, everybody in their friend group already knows they have feelings for each other and they find it insufferable, but after they actually begin dating, I think they’d let it go like two or three weeks without saying anything just so they can have their time, you know?

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): Aaron proposes in his apartment because they’re both private people

if they adopt any pets together: Omg please, I want them to have so many pets

who’s more dominant: Willow. Aaron’s a very mild guy, and Willow is not.

where their first kiss was and what it was like: A lil drunk, way before things got serious between them, and even though they both enjoyed it, it left things very complicated for a bit. That didn’t stop them from kissing a few more times before they even thought of getting together.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): I don’t know actually? Feel free to give me your ideas qheifujwjkq

how into pda they are: They’re into PDA when it’s not, like......PDA, you know? Like, they’ll hold hands and Willow will lean her head on his shoulder in front of the group and stuff, like they’re fine with being touchy because they are, but when it comes to kissing and more in public, they’ll do it in isolated areas and still get a thrill from knowing people can see them.

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Aaron because he’s taller

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): Either their favorite bar or Aaron’s loft

who’s more protective: Aaron. He’s seen Willow get hurt too many times to not be protective

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): Over a year before they had sex, but they’d probably slept in the same bed a few times at that point.

if they argue about anything: Commitment, lmao. Also, what movie they watch.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Willow. We love a top

who steals whose clothes and how often: Willow steals all of Aaron’s shirts

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Facing each other because they’re sickeningly in love

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: You know what? I see them playing board games, okay.

how long they stay mad at each other: Probably like a few hours lol. Until shit really hits the fan but we won’t talk about that.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Aaron drinks his coffee black and his tea with extra sugar but idk about Willow

if they ever have any children together: I can see it and it makes me emo :’)

if they have any special pet names for each other: I’m not going over this question again okay

if they ever split up and / or get back together: Lmao yes

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): Messy with not a lot of decor, mostly some of Aaron’s favorite photographs of Willow’s that she’s taken that he hangs around the loft (like aEsThEtIc ones yk) and pics of them. Some fake plants probably

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: Cute as hell, probably with their whole friend group celebrating together

what their names are in each other’s phones: Their names with emojis next to them <3

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): Movie nights!!

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Aaron falls asleep and wakes up first.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Aaron’s the big spoon, Willow’s the little spoon

who hogs the bathroom: Willow

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: Aaron

CAMILLE &. BLAKE

where they first met and how: They grew up in the same sort of circle since childhood because of their parents, and they were both aware of each other’s existence especially in high school, but because Blake was older and Camille had a reputation that he didn’t associate with, they never actually met until their parents told them about the wedding.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: There was no real ‘flirting’ phase, there was a lot of arguing, a lot of sex, and then somehow they fell in love.

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): I really really think Blake fell first, if only because Camille was still so understandably upset about the wedding and how Blake handled it? She never even thought about whether or not she had feelings for him until she heard him say ‘I love you’.

where their first date was and what it was like: An arranged public outing at some fancy restaurant that their parents arranged. It was really tense because Camille wouldn’t cooperate and at the end, she wouldn’t even let him put his arm around her for any cameras.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): Their parents did it for them lol

who proposes first: Do I really need to answer this question? But the second time, it’s after their second huge fight, about the lawyer, and they decide to have a second wedding together.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: Lmao cute

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): It’s not a thing, it’s more like their parents just put an announcement on the front page of the paper and that’s how everyone knew. The second time, like the actual proposal, was just between the two of them after Camille came home and it was more of a discussion, not a proposal.

if they adopt any pets together: I don’t see it, just because Camille is a control freak and she can’t handle the responsibility.

who’s more dominant: They both have their moments.

where their first kiss was and what it was like: Their first kiss was a picture for their engagement announcement, but their first like, actual kiss was when Camille came to his office to get him to call of the wedding and they started arguing.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): They probably got so many matching couples gifts from their first wedding because it was obscenely big and their parents probably invited like 400 people, but I doubt they kept any of it.

how into pda they are: Very :)

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Blake because height difference

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): A really nice restaurant probably.

who’s more protective: Both of them

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): They first had sex when Camille went to ask him to call off the wedding and he said no, and I think when they first moved in together, they didn’t really sleep in the same bed for a bit. One of them was probably always going to a different room to sleep without saying anything about it, and then one time they had sex and neither of them got up so it just became a thing.

if they argue about anything: Everything.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Blake leaves a lot of marks on Camille, usually where no one can see, like bruises on her hips or her neck that she covers up, and Camille leaves scratches on his back

who steals whose clothes and how often: Camille would steal any of his sweatshirts.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Spooning

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: They really just like spending time together when things sort of calm down between them. They’ll sit and talk with each other, or they’ll be doing their own thing but like, together, you know?

how long they stay mad at each other: A while

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Camille’s is an iced caramel latte no matter the season or the weather because she’s a typical New Yorker

if they ever have any children together: Max, two kids. God help Camille if her first kid isn’t a girl.

if they have any special pet names for each other: I’m not answering this

if they ever split up and / or get back together: Yeah like three times

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): Clean because Camille is a neat freak and a control freak and she used her designer’s eye to make sure they live in a very nice home

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: It was probably terrible. They most likely spent it with their families together after their first wedding and they both had an awful time

what their names are in each other’s phones: If Cami’s name isn’t My Wife with an engagement ring emoji next to it in Blake’s phone, I’m suing. In her phone, it’s his name with the 💝 emoji

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): I think after they become a very stable couple, they both want to actually have dates together so they decide to go to new places every so often. Also, Camille would try to teach Blake how to cook.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Camille falls asleep first, Blake wakes up first.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Blake is the big spoon

who hogs the bathroom: Camille, but it’s a big bathroom with a his and hers side so they’re fine, she’s just in there longer.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: Blake.

MONTY &. LUCILLE

where they first met and how: As children :’) Lucille was immediately infatuated with Monty

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: Was there really a flirting phase, though? Was it not more of Lucille being in love with him and him being in love with her sister and then after they met again in Paris, she was literally engaged so it was just a lot of tension?

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): Lucille

where their first date was and what it was like: A picnic, fight me

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): Monty probably makes a scene in front of Lucille but like, no one else is around, it’s just them

who proposes first: Monty

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: They probably don’t tell anybody back home until they get home

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): Probably on another picnic, FIGHT ME

if they adopt any pets together: Maybe a cat. Lucille is a cat person

who’s more dominant: Monty. Lucille is not dominant in the slightest.

where their first kiss was and what it was like: Monty probably just snapped and kissed Lucille and she didn’t expect it and didn’t know what to do

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): Hand towels as a wedding present.

how into pda they are: Lucille gets a thrill out of it because it makes her feel ~*~scandalous~*~

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Monty because he’s a gentleman

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): A really nice field or courtyard

who’s more protective: Monty

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): You know, I have a feeling that before they got married Lucille probably let Monty sleep in her bed, but they didn’t have sex until after

if they argue about anything: They debate over literature constantly, but also, feelings :) If you want some angst when they finally get together, think about Lucille having doubts about Monty and Katherine and thinking she’s a consolation prize and them arguing about it

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Lucille likes when Monty leaves marks, but she’d also leave lipstick marks on him

who steals whose clothes and how often: She’d take some of his clothes.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Both

what their favourite nonsexual activity is: Going to see plays and operas together

how long they stay mad at each other: Lucille can hold a grudge for a while

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Milk and sugar

if they ever have any children together: Yes :’)

if they have any special pet names for each other: Enough

if they ever split up and / or get back together: No, it just takes them a long long long time to get together, but once they do, they’re solid

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): It’s a big space but it’s still a home. It looks lived in and it doesn’t feel like a cold estate.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: Probably much like it was when they were spending the holidays together as children. Just lots of family around them.

what their names are in each other’s phones: If they had phones, Lucille would just have his name as Monty in hers because she wouldn’t like emojis in contact names. She would use them excessively when texting, though.

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): p i c n i c s

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Lucille falls asleep first, Monty wakes up first

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Lucille is the little spoon.

who hogs the bathroom: Lucille

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: Monty, what a man

#rosecolore-d #answered #(meme. mine)#(meme. aaron)#(meme. camille)#(meme. lucianna)#(aaron clarke. the kaleidoscope heart)#(camille ferri. the princess scorned)#(lucianna howard. the idealized dream)#(aaron and willow. two punch drunk souls all tangled in the wind)#(camille and blake. the stupid truth is i'm so bad for you)#(lucianna and monty. don't need a ring for my finger; just need a steady hand to hold)#💖 mutually assured destruction 💖

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glompcat · 4 years

Note

top 5 spaceships, which i rly thought that last question was asking

This is far harder to answer than the other kind of ship tbh

ok ok ok ahhhh ok

The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) - There is something about that beat up old car in space aesthetic that just can’t be denied. It is big enough for you live comfortably while in deep space for absurd amounts of time, but somehow everything about it reminds you of barreling down the highway in your car, having a great conversation with the friend in the passenger seat. I love that beat up hunk of junk so much.

Modern-Era Cylon Raider (Battlestar Galactica 2004) - Everything about this ship is incredible. The sleek design that curves just enough to remind you that it’s organic. The single red eye, rhythmically swaying, to remind you that it’s a machine. The fact it is alive, truly alive, as in this universe even the literal war machines are full of blood and guts and a consciousness. Ugh. I have a lot of feelings about the scarred raider Kara cut open and crawled inside of. I have a lot of feelings about cylons in general.

A-Wing (Star Wars) - Ok forget having a ship you can live in or something mechanical and yet alive, this is just a 1970s hotcar of a ship, which is the fasted damn thing in the Rebel fleet. Flashy, cool, goes zoom, and helps defeat the bad guys. How can you not love it?

Shoot err did they even have a name? The Heptapod’s ships in Arrival - I seriously loved the Heptapod ships in Arrival. Constructs designed for alien biology, when done right, are just an incredible thing to witness in sci fi. There is nothing quite like it when you actually feel that this thing was not made with Humans in mind. When the work of fiction truly sells you on the idea of science far beyond anything that currently exists - technology built by forms of engineering that have never existed on this planet, that’s just… yes please.

The TARDIS (Doctor Who) - Speaking of, that’s the base of how I feel about the TARDIS. But there is more than that, because the brilliance of Doctor Who is how absurdly self aware the show can be at times. For over 50 years the TARDIS has been whatever the plot needed it to be. Over 50 years of it breaking down at just the right moment, landing in exactly the right spot, and having whatever sort of room inside it that the story needs. Well, unless today’s story requires it to strangely no longer have that thing anymore, for example the story Paradise Towers is essentially about the hi-jinks the Seventh Doctor and his companion Mel get into when Mel wants to go swimming but the TARDIS got rid of the swimming pool. The boot cupboard inside this ship is larger than my apartment, and even the Doctor doesn’t know where the kitchen is. It is an ordinary door that you open to find the impossible and extraordinary on the other side, and a confusing relic of someone else’s past. It’s a living spaceship that can be anything any story at all requires, and it can take you anywhere in all of time of space at the speed of plot. All of that, and thanks to the whole living transdimensional being thing, all of the above is often pointed out directly in the narrative as part of the ship’s personality. She’s a junked up wreck set for the scrap heap, constantly showing off for her thief why she was worth stealing in the first place.

omg omg I keep changing my mind and deleting ships and replacing them with others this is too hard I give uppppppp

#100percentdirtball

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yinandyangyang · 5 years

Text

a compilation | han

Pairing: Han x Reader

Genre: cup of angst, with a dash of fluff

Tags: blurbs, unrequitedlove, ANGsT, floof?

A/N: this is a compliation of han - related blurbs, undeveloped plots, and angst, plus a tiny bit of fluff

let me know if there are any you think I should continue with!

@bunnyhani happy late omg im so sorry birthday, luv!!! you actually make me smile so much, you are a highlight in my life and since none of the scenarios i was trying to make actually really seemed like enough, i just made a few, unfinished, unrelated blurbs, chats, random han related thoughts and compiled them for you ~

01. build me a bridge of rose petals

unrequitedlove!reader

“This isn’t something I can just get over,” I mumbled quietly into the phone. My best friend sighed in response, thoroughly annoyed with hearing of me and my failures at romance.

“Look, y/n,” she hummed, irritation sprayed heavily into her words. “Cry me a fucking river, build a bridge, and get your dumb, absolutely idiotic ass over it. He isn’t worth your time. You’ve been in love with the dick for - how long - like a decade now. And not once has he reciprocated your feelings.”

A sob built in my throat and I bit my lip to keep it from escaping. I’d yell back, if I had the energy. But I didn’t. And she was right, any who. I’d been hopelessly in love with the one, the only, Han Jisung for years, since middle school. And never once had he liked me back. We had been friends for all this time, yes, Jisung and I. We had even gone dancing together a few times.

“Stop dreaming, stop selling yourself short, stop rejecting all these other guys in the hopes he’ll magically like you back because you’re hurting yourself. I can’t stand seeing you like this any longer, y/n. I know I sound like an ass, but you deserve all the happiness in the world and I know you will never in a million years, find that with Jisung.

“Forget him, y/n. Forget him and be happy.”

“... okay,” was all I could manage. Because ultimately, she was right. I had been letting him get in the way of my happiness for far too long. “Talk later.”

And shutting off the phone, I tossed it across the room. Her voice echoed in my mind, “Forget him, y/n. Forget him and be happy.”

It wasn’t that easy, though, I thought to myself. He’s just always there. Han Jisung’s always on my mind. His smile. His voice. His eyes, lord, his eyes. The curve of his lips. The way he looked when he laughed.

A sudden bout of painful coughing rumbled deep through my diaphragm, wracking my whole body with violent bouts of wheezing until I was left gasping for breath. Something pink flew out of my mouth fluttered slowly to the ground. I brought my hand up to my lips to investigate and the sickeningly sweet smell of roses wafted through the room.

My finger tips fell away from my mouth wet. Covered in blood. Another cough shook my body.

Two more rose petals shot past my lips.

02. lotto winner

bestfriend!jisung

“My gosh, __,” Jisung whined, scrolling through his instagram feed for the third time that hour. “What are you doing, wrestling with the zipper? Why do you take so long?”

“Yah, Han Jisung! Trying on clothes isn’t as easy as you think, okay?” you shouted through the changing stall door, still trying to decide whether the outfit looked good on you or not. “Can you look at this outfit and tell me what you think? I don’t know if it fits my body right.”

“Fine,” your companion sighed. “Just hurry, up, okay?” Jisung stared wistfully out the window at the bright blue sky. It was really lovely this afternoon and he had to spend it with you, inside an expensive clothing store looking like it had just come out of tumblr’s aesthetic page, waiting for you to try on clothes.

Jisung subconsciously glanced down at his watch right as you hesitantly exited your changing stall. The edge of the baby blue cropped crew neck ended right above the waistband of the black corduroy skirt and the trim of your skirt fell right a good six inches above your knees. Cradling your arms to your chest, you shot your friend a nervous smile. Frilly and girly wasn’t your usual look, you would have rather worn a pair of boyfriend jeans and one of Jisung’s oversized sweaters.

“What do you think?”

“You look good, now let’s go,” he spoke and not bothering to spare a glance up, he shrugged. You noticed of course.

“Yah! Jisung, you idiot!” you yelled, picking up the closest pair of pants next to you and throwing them directly at the head of your best friend. “You’re supposed to actually look when I ask you to.”

Peeling the pants off his head, Jisung rolled his neck, now more irritated than he was 3 seconds ago. First you waste his time and now you throw a pair of pants at him. What the hell? When would the torture end? He sighed for the nth time that afternoon, gaze finally traveling over your figure. And all irritation drained out of him like it was nothing.

The second his eyes fell over your shy smile and flushed cheeks, all he could think of was damn. You looked good. The miniskirt complimented your curves and accentuated the length of your legs. Baby blue against black wouldn’t have been his first choice, but the innocent way you looked up at him erased all color complaints he had.

Whatever guy started ended up stealing your heart would be one damn lotto winner.

Coming back to himself, Jisung scoffed, immediately looking away from you. A pretty pink flush tickled the apples of his cheeks.

“W-what?” you stuttered, looking down at yourself nervously. “It doesn’t look good, does it? Oh my- I should have known better. It’s the color combination, right? I knew I should have picked pink or something-”

Jisung snorted, pushing himself up to flick you in the forehead. Stunned, the speech spilling from your tongue like word vomit halted and you looked at him.

“Oh my God, __. First things first, I didn’t need to look at you because I know you look fine in anything you pick. Secondly, now that I finally looked at you, I just realized that I shouldn’t have because now I’m disappointed. You don’t look as pretty as I was envisioning you.”

“Shut up, dumbass!” All prior unease forgotten, you smacked him in the shoulder. “Another comment like that and I won’t buy you food.”

“Okay, jeez,” he snickered, rubbing the spot you hit him. “You do look pretty, though.”

“Yeah, right.” You called, flouncing back into the changing stall with a pout. “You just want food.”

“Believe what you want to,” Jisung sang back, settling back down onto the couch outside the stall, all thoughts of you and just how good you looked erased. “I could always leave you here.”

Within seconds, you were out of the stall, completely changed and the slightest bit pink in the face. Jisung bit back a laugh. If there was anything you hated more than the thought of being with him (romantically), it was the thought of being without Jisung.

03. best friends v. break ups

text convo

j*s.~.ng: I've never felt more exhausted… j*s.~.ng: normally I wouldn't publicize this j*s.~.ng: but my heart hurts. So. Much j*s.~.ng: can I call you? j*s.~.ng: ahit nvm. j*s.~.ng: i forgot you're on a blind date…. j*s.~.ng: forget everything and ples enjoy :))) y/n: *5 seconds later* hey you okay? j*s.~.ng: all good ☺ y/n: don't hide behind emojis I know you better than that j*s.~.ng: but you're on a date j*s.~.ng: what are you doing texting me y/n: he kinda already left because you kept texting j*s.~.ng: shit. j*s.~.ng: I'm so sorry. y/n: don't be. He was a control freak j*s.~.ng: are you sure I'm not interrupting something? y/n: absolutely, chill j*s.~.ng: can...you pick me up? y/n: already in my car. Where you at?

04. silently

unrequited!reader

It was all too soon when I got that feeling again. You know… that feeling.

That feeling, the one you get where your heart, slowly breaking, drops without hesitation into the depths of your stomach and begins to churn, boiling up a brew with the irritating emotions called heartbreak, loneliness, and hurt. The stench of the horrific brew rises and rises and continues to rise in your stomach, building up pressure in your lungs and making it hard to breathe properly. It eventually makes its way to your eyes, odor building tears up… and then there’s really nothing you can do to keep them from falling.

You know… that feeling.

I’ve loved the same boy since I was eleven years old. For a portion, a small one mind you, of that time, I was told he liked me back. Of course, that was merely a miniscule section of that time, the rest of the time, we decided to grow up, only when I grew up, I was left with the same feelings I’d had for him all those years ago. It killed me.

And it was only natural that he wasn’t.

We’d both had a couple flings with other people tossed in there… but my mind was constantly on him and his... wasn’t. His eyes, his lips, his arms, his laugh, his smile. I loved him. And nothing was ever going to happen between us. Because of his lack of self confidence, he always looked for affirmation in month long relationships, only to break it off, then find someone else over the course of the next week.

Did it hurt? Yeah. Of course it hurt. Fuck, it burned like shit. But what could I do?

I’d talk it out with close friends, my mom. It wouldn’t solve anything though. I was still left with that same heartache, the same slow, numbing pain.

There were those instances I wouldn’t see him for a while and those overpowering feelings would subside into a a low, near non existent hum. It would be those periods of time that would hurt the most, yet also be the most peaceful. During those hours, days, weeks… I would find myself missing him, his hugs, his smile… but I would also find solace in those moments of not having to worry about him, how he was doing, what I’d wear when I saw him next...

But through all those times, through all those years… it had never hurt this much. He’d already had so many girlfriends before and his yearning, his unquenching desire for constant affirmation seemed never to be satisfied, so he dropped one and moved on again.

When he and I made eye contact from the ends of the hall ways, a bright smile overtook my lips like it always did. This time though, it wasn’t because he was wearing a pair of slim cut denim jeans with a white form-fitting button down and a black suit jacket and looking the most attractive I’d seen him in a while, it was because I had decided to finally come in terms with my feelings. I loved him and appreciated him as a person, a friend... and a boy.

He approached me with a playful smile, the brightness of his expression challenging the setting sun.

But was we made our way into the room, sat down beside each other like regular, and began to talk, the conversation took a turn, one that really wasn’t in favor of my mood.

He brought up his newest girlfriend.

It wasn’t like I was angry at him for having a girlfriend, I was just a good friend, nothing more than that to him. He wasn’t mine. He was his own person.

“So..” I hummed, trying to keep the conversation light, though really it’s not like anyone would have noticed my sudden shift in mood. I mean, we’re talking about me for goodness sake. I threw shade for fun and if I was hurt, it’d always be masked by my overpowering sarcasm. One sudden mood shift wouldn’t stand out, after all, I’d had enough practice hiding my true feelings from an unfortunate many times before. “She’s pretty?”

“Oh, exponentially more so,” he hummed, a radiant, beautiful smile decorating his lips as his mind drifted off once more to his gorgeous girlfriend. I never got that smile. That special, heart breaking smile was only reserved for the best, the prettiest and that was not me. “She’s... everything I didn’t realize I wanted in someone...”

He continued on, speaking of her eyes and how they glittered with this special something every time he saw her. Had my eyes ever looked like that to him?

He brought up her hair, how soft it felt when he ran his fingers through it, how it always seemed to fall perfectly. My hair... I reached up subconsciously to touch it. Was it soft? Did it ever look effortlessly beautiful like that?

His eyes glowed when he redirected his description of her to her smile. He said it was perfect, the way it shaped her eyes into pretty little crescent moons, and that when they were together, it seemed her lips were curved into nothing but. I frowned. He never noticed - wait no, of course he didn’t. Why would he notice my smile when his mind was solely on hers?

I brought my knees up to my chest, the familiar feeling of self pity slowly consuming me. I could no longer concentrate on trying to be a supportive friend while my heart was breaking like this.

I choked back a silent sob. He continued speaking, eyes glazed over in adoration of his girlfriend. My eyes burned, tears welling up at the corners. He chuckled, laughing about something she reminded him of. I reached up, wiping away my unshed tears. He smiled down at his fingers, moving them, savoring the feeling of the ghosts of her fingertips.

He didn’t notice anything. He never did.

A sad, somewhat pessimistic thought entered my mind. Was it because I wasn’t pretty? Would he notice the more minuscule things about me if I was pretty? Would he ask if I was okay if I was pretty?

Would I mean anything more to him... if I was pretty?

Forcing down my tears, I sighed, smacking a easy-going smile back onto my lips. Who cared if it looked fake. It’s not like he would have noticed anyways.

05. you, me, & the moonlight

roommate!au

“Hey...” I hummed, looking up briefly from my computer screen to Han Jisung, my best guy friend, roommate, and unbelievably cliche forever crush. The dim light from the yellow street lights outside mixed together with the lazy, past 10 pm atmosphere in the room. My feet lay on his lap, his laptop perched on my shins. At the sound of his name, he turned to meet my gaze, the slight dimple in his cheek sending my heart into an unauthorized gymnastics routine. He dislodged one earbud from his ear.

“Yeah?”

“What on your schedule tomorrow?” My eyes dropped down to the half-written essay on my laptop screen to avoid a blush from appearing on my cheeks. “I wanna do something.”

He yawned, stretching his arms above his head, t-shirt riding up on his stomach to reveal a sliver of the smooth planes of his taut muscles. Dammit, Han Jisung, cover yourself better.

“Hmm… There’s a morning practice tomorrow from 5:15 to 7, and then I have classes from 8 to 12. Afternoon practice is 2 to 3:30… I also have a study session later tomorrow, like around 4-ish, but it shouldn’t last longer than a couple hours. So we can either do something during lunch or pull an all-nighter doing whatever. Your choice.” He shut his laptop and placed it on the coffee table, the kitchen lights making his chlorine-bleached hair glow golden.

“Well tomorrow’s Friday. I’m most likely going to be asleep during lunch, and I don’t have anything on Saturday until after lunch so I’m game for the all-nighter.” I shut my laptop and placed it on the coffee table as well, rearranging myself so that my head rested on his shoulder. “But if you have morning practice, you should probably go to sleep soon.”

“Alright mom, geez.”

He scoffed in faux offense, laying his head atop mine on instinct.

And, the mere movement sent my heart beating about fifteen times faster than it was supposed to be.

06. your sensitive side

idolfriend!jisung

“Why are you sitting so far away?” Jisung stared at me, a confused look on his angelic features. For once, I wasn’t cuddled into his side. For once, I decided to sit on the very opposite side of the couch, curled up with my favorite penguin plush, Snoogly Woogly. A childish frown marred my usually gentle features.

“Why does it matter?” I spat out, clutching Snoogly Woogly tighter.

“Because you’re obviously bothered and in need of a hug,” he said quite matter-of-factly. I buried my face in Snoogly Woogly and groaned loudly, trying to smother the butterflies in my stomach with annoyance. He just smiled, put down his pineapple pizza and crawled over to my side of the couch. Soon enough, Snoogly Woogly was pulled out of my arms and her plush body was replaced with his firm, warm one. He picked me up, cradling me on his lap.

“Hey!!! You’re on my side of the couch, you big dumb dumb!” Instinctively, my arms wound around his lithe, idol body. I could feel him smile into my shoulder as he hugged me closer til we were pressed flush against each other.

“Oh please. If only you could feel how tight you’re hugging me right now.”

“Only because I don’t want to fall, you fucking sequoia tree!” I growled into his chest. “You’re still on my side, though.”

“Fine.” With that, Jisung picked me up as he stood and walked back to his side of the couch. Sitting back down, with me on his lap, he gave me a pointed look. “Is this better?”

A blush raged across my face. Why did he have to be so… obnoxiously strong and sensitive? I had been living with him for how long and still haven’t found enough flaws to stop liking him.

The night went on. We had just finished our third movie, second box of fried chicken and first box of pizza, and he still hadn’t let go of me. Then again, he was asleep now and he usually went to hug things in his sleep. Pushing off his drowsy form carefully, I peered at the clock on the microwave. 2:54 am.

Slipping out of his loosening grasp, I cleaned the coffee table off. Out went the trash, into the fridge went the pizza. Approaching the couch once more, the cracks of my broken heart softened as my eyes ran over his sleeping figure. I pulled off his glasses gently and set them down by the charging ports in the dining room. He shifted in his sleep, better revealing his soft features.

My hand stretched forward subconsciously to brush the hair from out of his face but I stopped myself. No... I shouldn’t. I turned to head back into the kitchen. Where the fuck was the melatonin..? But as if the whole universe was pitted against me, one of the legs on the coffee table somehow magically placed itself inconveniently in front of my foot.

Before I could stop myself, a whisper-shouted fuck surged past my lips. At the sound of my profanity, his eyes cracked open.

“Hey… shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Though his words were mumbled almost incoherently, his deep brown eyes gazed up at me, awaiting an answer.

“Oh- well yea-” before I could finish my sentence, he reached forward and placed a finger to my lips. Once that effectively silenced me, he sat up and wrapped his arms around my smaller body for the second time tonight, pulling me to the relaxed pace of his heart. For a moment, I lay there stiffly. Though this was no new position to me, my mind raced with doubts. The recent pain in my chest was getting worse, making it harder to think, function, and act normal around him. What had I let myself get pulled into? More importantly, what had I let my heart get roped into all those years ago?

As if sensing my unease, he cracked one eye open, ran a hand through my semi-tangled tresses and rested his lips against my forehead.

“Then sleep.”

07. even death would be kinder

arrangedmarriage!au

“Oh __, my darling girl, how you’ve grown!” I grinned weakly, doing my best to enthusiastically return Mrs. Han’s hug. The woman was like my second mother. I had known her since I was in primary school and I absolutely adored her. Her son on the other hand…

“Han Jisung, come here and say hello!” Mrs. Han called out to her son. I steeled myself for the shock of seeing how the now unfamiliar young man approaching us had changed.

“Hi, __.”

The first thing that came to my mind was ‘hot DANG. his voice got deeper.’

Seulgi bowed quickly before shooting me an apprehensive look and taking her leave.

Taking a deep breath and a quick mental check, I looked up and extended my hand out to shake his hand in greeting. Upon looking up though, I could feel my hand fall slack in disbelief.

The young awkward boy I had fallen in and out if love with during my teen years had now been replaced with a suave, smooth young man. His smile came easily, lips stretched to reveal his bright teeth. His chubby, babyish face had slimmed down significantly over the years. His chiseled jawline and crescent eyes accommodated the handsome face he now sported well. But his eyes… the playful, mischievous brown eyes of his had not changed at all in the years that had passed.

Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I quickly shook his hand, slapping a professional smile on my mouth.

“Pleasure to see you again, Mr. Han. It's been too long.”

His smile faltered and the happy curve if his beautiful eyes vanished. Nonetheless, he shook my hand firmly and nodded, the smile, albeit a tad uncomfortable, still remaining.

“It has.”

Quickly releasing his hand, I stepped back. An uncomfortable silence shrouded us until Mrs. Han cleared her throat.

“Why the long faces, you two? You were the best of friends years ago,” turning to her son, she reached up to pinch his cheek. “Why, I recall you telling me she was the only girl you could be completely comfortable around.”

The handsome male across from me stiffened.

“That’s because she’s like a sister to me mom,” he said, smiling thinly. I pursed my lips, clutching the clipboard in my hands a tad bit tighter. Yes. That was all I was. Nothing but a ‘sister’.

“Oh pish posh,” Mrs. Han scoffed, waving her hand through the air as if it were nothing. “You’re acting as if she’s nothing but a stranger right now.”

Jisung rolled his eyes.

“Mother, we haven’t seen each other in ages.”

“Ages, my foot.” She slapped her son’s arm. “Now you two, stop acting like children. It’s time we had lunch.”

08. how much you care

domesticfriendship!au

“Guess what today is?” I asked, bouncing on the tip of my toes. Literally. Because I was wearing high heels. And one does not simply bounce on their whole feet with high heels.

“Your birthday,” Jisung spoke, returning my smile with an equally casual one.

“Yeup!” He had remembered! Excitement hung around me as I hummed giddly in response. I had finally gotten my feelings in order and realized how much he meant to me. It wasn't just my birthday. Perhaps now maybe I could mean something more to someone.

The lesson went by quickly and before I knew it, so had the majority of the night. Soon enough, it was just the two of us left in the room. While half of me knew he would soon be walking out of those doors like the rest of the students, half of me prayed desperately for him to stay.

“Can I show you something?” He asked suddenly, gesturing to the computer. Giving my consent, he searched and pulled a video up. And for the next minute and a half, I watched flashes of meme-filled images singing a horrid, remixed happy birthday song.

“Wow,” I chuckled in disbelief. His boyish laugh sounded in harmony. “I don't know what I expected but that definitely wasn't it.”

“Well I mean, I'm broke so I couldn't have got you anything,” he snorted incredulously.

“That's is true.”

I took a good long moment to appreciate his features. His smile. He was extremely attractive and I knew that. I knew that from the moment I first saw him in 4th grade. But did I ever do anything about it? No.

All of a sudden, I didn't know what to say. Conversations had never been awkward between us but for some reason, at this moment in time, my heart began to beat faster, my cheeks began to color. A feeling of dread filled my stomach. Oh no. Was I... falling for one of my close male friends??

Before the moment could get any more awkward, the sound of a vibration alerted the both of us to his phone and, pulling it out, the smile dropped from his face. An apologetic smile covered his lips and he pocketed the device once more.

“Aight, my dad is here,” Jisung sighed, gesturing to the door. “I gotta head out.”

Disappointment coiled in my stomach when he turned towards the door, exiting without a second glance. I stood there, staring at his receding figure, confused at why I was feeling the way I was. I didn’t know what I had been hoping for, but it certainly wasn’t for him to leave like that.

Something in my body pulled me forwards, nearly tripping me over my own feet as I chased after him.

“Wait! Jisung!” I called breathlessly from the doorway. “No birthday hug or anything?? I’m offended.”

The boy turned, teasing smile playing at his lips. He paused in his step, rolling his eyes. The boyish quirk in his smile sent my heart hurtling over the edge into the chasm of having a crush at what seemed like a thousand miles per hour.

“Fine,” he spoke, grin more than obvious in his voice. He continued towards me, hands shoved sheepishly into his hoodie pocket.

“No, nevermind,” I scoffed playfully, turned back around, crossing my arms in faux offense. “I don’t need your hugs. Even though it is my birthday.”

“Come on, y/n,” Jisung hummed, his soft, velvety voice sounding right by my ear. “Don’t be like that.”

All of a sudden, a pair of warm, strong, lithe, familiar arms snuck around my waist pulling me firmly against the built frame of my best friend. The scent of his fabric softener and body wash overwhelmed my senses until all I could feel was him and home. He bent down, resting his cheek against the top of my head.

A fiery blush burned over my cheeks.

“Jisung-” I whispered, turning around in his arms. But that was all I could say before he pulled me into his chest once more, cradling my head into his comforting body heat. The sound of his melodic, hypnotizing heartbeat flowed through my ears, falling into a comfortable pace with mine.

“Happy birthday, y/n.”

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zayashmaya · 5 years

Note

IM SO INTERESTED NOW OMG

ok i will give u a taste, @compositecreature come witness our beautiful brain child

1) Vegasstuck: Mc introduces Tagora to the wonders of gambling. She is a top-tier scammer so is anyone really surprised that she has this skill? Tagora catches on to the rules quickly and LOVES it, he’s mr. money man after all. And when mc takes Tagora to Vegas, it’s all over. Vegas casinos are quaking whenever these two roll into town. They bond over this shared interest like no other. Tagora insists on getting matching outfits for when they go out to the casinos, and mc is all for it. They are such good players that they usually have a crowd around them by the end of the night (or morning idk anymore with these damn troll/human day/night cycles), and the casino owners try to pressure these two to get their asses out of Vegas or else. And boy did they underestimate Tagora because he is throwing around legal jargon left and right about how he will sue the shit outta them for threatening him. He ends up scoring a honeymoon suite for him and mc for the remainder of their stay as an apology and they go right back to conquering Vegas.

But the crowds that gather around them are super annoying, so they bring Marvus and Lanque with them one time so these gorgeous idiots can hold the people at bay with their good looks. Unfortunately this also means that Marvus and Lanque will be the ones to bother them because they didn’t know how serious of a sport this is for the rat duo. Lanque dares to butt in one game and almost gets flayed alive by the glare of mc and Tagora’s stares. They are also ridiculously bad influences on mc and Tagora - it’s Vegas for goodness sakes this is a dream come true for Marvus and Lanque - so this whole trip devolves into partying and drinking and a messy orgy that will forever haunt Tagora. He learns far too many things about the others that night, and forces them all to sign a contract to never speak of their experience ever again. What happens in Vegas truly does stay in Vegas.

Next time Tagora and mc wanna go to Vegas, they make Marvus and Lanque bring their moirails so those two hoes aren’t out of control anymore. Galekh is also invited, and he overanalyzes the HELL out of each game. Overall this trip is highly successful and everybody wins. Mc and Tagora donate their winnings to charities because mc is a selfless soul and Tagora wants good publicity for his firm.

2) Ikeastuck: Mc introduces ALL the husbands to glorious Ikea. Tagora comes first because you know this bitch loves interior design and he’s got a new home to refurbish on earth! Mc has to stop him from buying the gaudiest vases and chandeliers, I’m talking like 50s sci-fi movie aesthetics here, and Tagora has to stop her from buying useless shit that she’ll never actually need, like all the color-coordinated cutlery or fake cactuses. They both steal the free pencils though.

However, these two dumbos are absolutely unprepared for the inescapable maze of Ikea’s layout. Mc leads them around in circles for like 30 minutes straight and Tagora is panicking, and they have to call Lanque to come rescue them. He’s pissed that his day is being interrupted over this dumb shit and finds them in the carpet section looking like feral animals and is able to escort them to the registers in one minute. Lanque will never let them live this down.

When Marvus tags along, true madness ensues. Marvus and mc alone in an Ikea is a sitcom in of itself. They throw around puns using the product names like nobody’s business, and eventually it devolves into mc egging him on to see how many rap lyrics he can come up with using the names. She records every second of it and posts it on youtube. Becomes a viral hit instantly. Marvus comes back one day to record a music video for the song right in Ikea. Oh and since Tagora and Lanque are 99% of mc’s impulse control, she always ropes Marvus into buying all the useless shit they could ever dream of. They come out of that store with a huge bag of electrical outlets and nicknacks and have no idea why they got this stuff in the first place. Marvus also gets addicted to the famous meatballs and he will ALWAYS beg to come along if mc is going with anyone else just cause he wants to wreak havoc on the cafeteria.

#imagine #homestuck #friendsim

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feywildwrites · 5 years

Photo

“DANI ON DANI: THE MANY FACES OF ME”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORL!!! ( @wisteriawrites )

OKAY, so before I get into the rest of my birthday message, let me explain the point of these graphics, because I swear I didn’t just make you basic af character posters for your faves.

So, last year, I made loads of “Dani” graphics which, obviously, I was going to try to do again since it is your day. But there’s only so many times I can recycle your aesthetic and write “INFP Type 4″ on everything soooo, I figured I would explore one of your favorite things: Writing! Characters! Obviously, the characters I chose for this are ones you love and know much better than I do, but I also thought they were a great representation of both your own, personal aesthetic and traits you gravitate toward in them that I see and love in you. So! Without further ado, here they are:

DAPHNE BLAKE: Because you’re the engine that makes this whole team run. LOL, okay, that’s me milking it, we don’t really have a “team” for this to work (watch Mars come at me for saying that lmao), but I know you’re an integral part of my life. But I think the part of you that is reminiscent of Daphne is the way you fight for what you want – and to be heard. You’re both stubborn and tenacious and can sometimes struggle with self-doubt, I think, when others overlook you, but you’re stronger than people might think you are. You both also never lose your eye for beauty (both aesthetically and in others!) and love for dreaming. Honestly, I don’t even know canon Daphne that well, so I might be talking out of my ass, but that’s what I see and love in you and your Daph.

BETTY COOPER: Because you both fight to be kind in a world that is not. I know Betty is sort of your “ideal” and you always strive to be like her, but I think that’s exactly why you are! Sure, sometimes you steal people’s boyfriends on facebook (kidding!), but you make a concentrated effort to be aware of others’ feelings, to validate them and to nurture them when you feel you can make a difference. I know sometimes it’s gotten you into trouble – you’ve focused so much on validating others in situations where they’ve misconstrued what you mean – but it comes from a place of wanting to do good, and that is very Betty Cooper of you (comic book Betty though, omg, not this “serial killer gene” wackjob). Also, you both are baking queens, what more is there to say.

RARITY: Because you both are incredibly fashion forward – and incredibly generous. Okay, sure, on the surface, Rarity might seem a little...frivolous? Image-obsessed? You both know how to serve some killer looks and know your way around any store, that’s for sure! But, Rarity’s main virtue is her generosity, and that is honest to goodness one of the traits I admire in you the most. You give of yourself so freely, both with your heart – and that is a beautiful trait, don’t learn to despise it – and gifts as well. You know you’re great at presents, though, and I love that you and Miss Rarity are so full of love that you enjoy giving your time and resources to make others happy. Friendship really is magic <3

HERMIONE GRANGER: Because you always stand up for what you believe in. You both really do. It’s why I – maybe incorrectly, who knows – suggested you might be a Gryffindor. Both you and Hermione have a firm sense of right and wrong and a set of ideals that you’re not willing to compromise on. I do think you’re open-minded enough, though, that you wouldn’t mutilate a girl if given the chance out of righteous anger, but that’s an improvement, if you ask me! You both are also total nerds and the first person to shoot up a hand in class to answer a question and place an apple on your teacher’s desk. Like I said: nerds.

Now that that’s out of the way, I have to close by expressing again how much I love you. This year has been both weird, stressful and exciting, and you’ve been there the whole time. Literally, last month! I don’t know about you, but for me, it was kind of crazy how normal it was getting to spend time together in person? Because you’re just the same. Just as funny. Just as bold. Just as thoughtful. Honestly, it speaks to your character as a person and a friend with how patient you were with me while I was sleep deprived half the time and having panic attacks over driving the other half. But you were always there to crack jokes or speak up for me at times when it didn’t feel like I had a voice, and I valued that so much. You know I do.

You really are such a valuable, unique, and inventive person, and I know it’s only a matter of time before you achieve big things. I mean, look at what all you’ve accomplished in one semester! It would be a fluff post to go into how much everyone (except for that book throwing weirdo) loves you, how you’re like getting paid to do spoken word poetry and meeting your hero(es), how you started your own pole club, how your teachers are helping you set a plan so you can become a full-time New Yorker. You inspire me to go after what I want. To become a better writer. To be a better friend. I’m so glad I always have my gorl there to sniff songs with me and talk nonsense like we’re on some talk show that no one would watch. I never really knew I needed someone to do interpretive dance while I sing Disney songs, but you’ve got me covered on that, too. I can’t wait for our next meet up and more, crazy shenanigans. Hopefully by Thanksgiving we’ll get to play more deception board games and find out why there was fire underwater. There’s probably more to say, but I need material for the next 50 years so I gotta chill.

I love you and like you and sniff you.

xoxo,

YOUR GORL

P.S. I’m sorry Pip jumped on you so much.

#wisteriawrites #dani day 2019 #dani tag #ILYSM GORL I HOPE U HAD AN AMAZING DAY #long post for ts

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itsswimmingtragedycollection · 5 years

Text

Kylie Jenner annoys the shit out of me. I generally stay away from kylie related news and information, mostly because I like my brain cells and don’t want to put them in harms way, but, she’s everywhere, so I still end up hearing about her all. the. fucking. time. Which I wouldn’t really mind if all I was hearing wasn’t ‘omg what a queen! such a role model! A TRUE BUSINESS WOMAN A FUCKING FASHION ICON A SELF MADE BILLIONAIRE!!!!’ And that’s also why I’m ranting about her on tumblr to my one follower, hi there buddy. But what pisses me off about her the most, are actually her fans. The fact that she has any, that is. I mean, this girl was born under a very blessed star. Her family is wealthy, famous, and influential which means that anything she wanted to do in life could have been handed to her on a silver platter. Anything at all. And this bitch chose the laziest possible option. ‘I’m just gonna look pretty on instagram and tell morons my fans to give me their money by selling dumb shit like fit tea and gummy bears that don’t really do shit other that feed into the toxic how-pretty-you-look-is-your-value-in-life culture.’ Not to mention her transition from looking like an ironing board to this thicc, curvy, hourglass, full lips, big eyes, doll-like person, which is not, in itself, that problematic, but the way she presented it, is. She basically said that the world made her feel ugly because she didn’t fit into the beauty standard, sobsobsob, so she went ahead and endured god knows how many procedures and surgeries to become, in essence, every straight man’s wet dream, and of course, that allowed her to finally love herself. So, you know, if you feel like shit because you’re not pretty enough and you don’t have the money to fix it, fuck you, but feel free to spend a hundred or two on a waist-slimming torture device that will make you feel like your life might be as good as mine one day xx. And people celebrated her for it like a fucking icon of self love and inspiration. Are you all okay?? Also, she’s one of the people who stole borrowed from black culture the most. That entire family is. Whether it’s the ‘I wish I was black, but not actually black, I’m just gonna cherry pick the cute shit’ aesthetics, or blatantly stealing black people’s work. And not once suffering any actual consequences. In fact, her fans were ready and willing to attack anyone who dared say a bad word about their beloved KingKylie. And now, we come to the part where she becomes actual trash. Kylie cosmetics. That’s right. Allegedly, she spent a lot of time working on all of her product, the formulas, designs, packaging, the whole shabang. She put her heart and soul in it and blablabla whatever. In reality, none of that happened. First of all, the launch was a very low risk, low input, high payoff type of thing. She didn’t have to worry about money, she had teams of people working on it, her job was to basically just put her face and name on it, and even if it burned to dust, she still would have been just fine. Like I said low risk, low input. Secondly, it was bad form the start. There was, and still is, always a problem with her products. A bad brush, a shit formula, a stolen formula form and affordable brand, people actually getting empty boxes, shit customer service, repackaging old stuff and presenting it as new, overpricing average quality brushes (and having the audacity to compare yourself to brands that have been there for decades and are giants in the field, step off bitch)...just to name a few. The only reason it became a huge success, are her dumb fans, and their parents, probably.This is what I genuinely do not understand. She made a BILLION off of you dumb fucks buying the same thing 2-3 times because her team had to ‘fix the mistakes’( that shouldn’t have been there in the first place if you worked as hard as you say you did, love). Repeat after me: Kylie Jenner is trash. Actual trash. SHE MADE A BILLION DOLLARS BY RE-BRANDING ALREADY EXISTING PRODUCTS AND FORMULAS AND TAKING YOUR MONEY FOR THE SAME THING MULTIPLE TIMES. People need to stop celebrating her. I can fuck with the fact that we live in a society that shoves very shallow, regressive views down our throats, but at the same time you legit have to give up a huge chunk of your brain to, not only, not be bothered by, bur full on support, like and give money to Kylie. Stop it.

And, if you feel the same way, pass this on, let’s spread the good word.

Also, a side note, she has no fashion sense whatsoever. She wears whatever she’s paid to. That’s literally it. They all do. What happens is, majority of people experience fashion through ig, fb, pineterest, magazines etc. So I get how you might think Kim or Kylie started a certain trend, but, I promise you, fashion doesn’t live on instagram, it’s presented to us there. They didn’t start any single trend, you just saw it on them first, there’s a huge ass difference. And, if you ask me, for a person in her position, meaning she can buy any single piece of clothing in existence, she has ridiculously bad taste, or lack there of, better said.

#kyliejenner #kyliecosmetics #kylie #kylie is trash #kim kardashian #kkw #kylie makeup #kendall jenner #kendall and kylie

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