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tarjapearce · 8 months

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HI!! I LOVE YOUR WORKS,, CAN U DO Pornstar miguel fucking his girlfriends tight pussy infront of the cam 😲😍😍😍 ITS DEF IF NOT BUT PLS🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

breeding, size kink, age dif PLS SHSBJWBW

I did not see this coming omg 😳😳 NSFW undercut

Big and sturdy hands attempted to focus the camera on the frame he actually wanted. Thick, lengthy, lightly curved towards the end, reddish hue tip with a heavy sac cock dangled before the camera as he tried to keep the device still.

"Fuck"

"Love when that happens" sweet voice that appeared in all of his homemade productions, giggled at the comment.

He had a lipstick smear near the base, the shape of your lips around it. Your little laughs could be heard from the back, but then you appeared and kneeled before the camera, lipstick impecable on your lips, Your hands grope your breast as Miguel approached. Another amateur production that would be added to his collection in the company.

A single hand of his, big enough to cover your face, went underneath your chin and cupped your cheeks.

"Open up, sweetie" Your tongue rolled off your mouth at his command. as your eyes stared directly at the camera.

His hand tangled in a fistful of your hair as he turned you in direction of his cock. His free hand guiding himself into your mouth and slowly slid in until your nose rubbed his happy trail. You seemed unbothered. Jaw relaxing as he sloshed in and out of your moist and warm flesh.

"So so good, princesa" He'd purr as his fisted hand kept guiding you on his shaft, to then squeeze your nose shut as he made you deepthroat him first. Redden cheeks turned purple as he fucked your throat between breathless moans and grunts.

He had been training you properly for this video in particular. The reviews from the previous one had that comment that surely busted your ego.

'That mouth can surely do better"

You were settled to shut that critic down. And Miguel was more than happy to comply in your training and now, seeing a cum streak that connected his tip with your meaty mouth and be completely unbothered by it, sliding in your throat once more like none's business, made his chest swell in pride.

"Eso, mi amor " (That's it baby)

He hissed with a lustful grin

He pulled your face before the camera and smeared his cum on your chin and cheeks before kissing you, tasting himself in the process with a satisfied grin. His thumbs splotched the lipstick off your mouth.

You laughed at the fact that finally your gagging reflexes had subsided enough for him to just use your mouth as a toy whenever you felt bratty. A great addition to the videos really.

Miguel would take you by the arm and threw you over his shoulder, rag dolling you. Feet dangling and hovering on the joints of his hip. A firm slap on your butt sent shivers down your thighs. A cue for you to shut your giggling out.

"Sorry, sorry got excited." You mumbled as he plopped some more cushions on the couch. He then threw you in them and you howled in laughter.

"Careful, Miggy"

His hands spreaded you gently like a book. Left thigh close to his chest as the other rested in the couch's armchair. Spreaded, exposed with your hips and legs shaped in an L form.

Puffy outer lips, that he had previously coated with his spit, parted to expose a bit more of your inner folds. He groaned at your awaiting soaked pussy.

"Ready, preciosa?" You nodded as your toes wriggled in anticipation. Teeth biting your lower lip.

"Aquí vamos" (Here we go)

Miguel took the phone, a little rustling as he dragged the tripod closer, making a zoom into your pussy. Pulsating, awaiting to be filled.

"Look at that" His thumb rubbed over your clit, to then place his shaft ontop of your flesh. The tip reached an inch underneath your navel.

You'd giggle at the size comparison.

"The perfect size really"

His hands would rub his tip between your folds, prodding at your clit lazily.

"Love big cocks inside you, princesa?"

"Only yours." He'd kiss you with hunger, tongue teasing before his mouth darted towards your ankle. Hips positioned, the camera focused, your hand hovering onto your lower belly made his cock twitch.

His tip sunk between your awaiting folds that received him with a wet little squish. Mouth gaped as he sheathed in a go, breast bouncing at the choking thrust.

"Yess-" You hissed and sobbed. Pussy stretching at his rock hard girth.

"Ay, Dios mio, muñeca. Mira. Mira, mira." (Oh ny God, doll. Look. take a look)

His voice urged to look at your swollen lower belly, full of him, bulging as he kept sheathing himself inside you.

"Feels good? Yeah?"

Your eyebrows knitted together, eyes drooped, drowning in need. You nodded with your bottom lip still caught in your teeth.

"So so good, Miggy. Just like tha-"

Another core shaking thrust. Your breath shook and toes curled in.

"So so eager." He cooed while dragging his cock out, glistening in your moist, his hand tilted the camera so it could take a better angle of how his cock left your pussy gaping. Your entrance squelching as he retired himself completely off you, only to ram back his hips immediately . Shaft buried balls deep in your tight little hole.

"Miguel!" You whined and his hips rolled, tip drawing tiny circles in your cervix. Your head was thrown back and he reached for your neck, squeezing your flesh on the spot. His hand covered completely your neck, dressing it up with his fingers. Air slowly leaving your mouth.

"You like that don't you?"

His pace quickened, and your hands went to his wrist that only applied more pressure on your neck, enough for you to give small short breaths and not cut the air completely. Your nods weak.

"Fucking slut, always greedy for my cock."

Your whole body shook with every plunge he did. Much to your dismay his other hand took a hold of the front strands of your hair and held you both still by the hair and neck as he moved into a brutal pace.

"Always teasing with this tight pussy..."

Your videos weren't for the vanilla coded. In fact it was the main warning in every little intro of them.

"Fucking make it hurt, Miggy" You had begged in between breathless chokes.

He growled. Oh, how you loved when it hurted so good. The kind of pain that always gave you the most intense orgasms with him.

The slapping on your flogged skin turned rawer and meaner, you growled. Sweat rolled down his chest and back, flesh flushed from the exertion. Your insides trapped him, constricting him in a Singapur Kiss. You just took him, mouth hung open, gaping in an o shape as he rawed you silly.

He'd moan shakily at the intensity of your tightening walls. You squirmed and wheezed underneath him.

"Dámelo, muñeca " (Give it to Me baby)

You shook your head vehemently, your hands still on his wrist, nails prickling his skin, trying to get more air in your lungs

"No?" He squeezed harder on your neck earning a weakened yelp. Your hands flailed and slapped his hand away, or at least tried to. Your hips bounced on his cock uncontrollably. There was no longer grunts or yelps, just little choked and stifled sobs, a vice like grip from your insides on his cock.

"¿Lo quieres dentro?" (You want it inside? )

Again your head shook as the remnants of sanity were ripped out of you.

"The fuck you mean no?" He shook you by the neck, it gave him a little wail from you.

Your small frame wringed with sweat, makeup smeared, and such a debauched face that made his wicked grin widen.

"Adentro será." (Inside shall be)

You whimpered a plea that he ignored. Of course you wanted it inside. His load always sizzled your spasming walls deliciously

He had to take a hold of your hips as you came. Gushing enough to bath his cock and lower abdomen with your cum. You had screamed, althout weakly, at the sensation. Body convulsing violently underneath his hands. Voice scrapped raw as your legs shook like jelly.

He had groaned your name as he kept spilling. Short elaborated breaths fanning your neck.

Itt was too much. Too fucking much and too good for you. You felt so full, that every time he unsheathed himself from you, you felt empty.

His hands grope you tighter as he gave the last few most powerful thrust you had received so far before going limp ontop of you as his seed remodeled your insides white.

"Such a good girl"

He mumbled as you wheezed, panted and giggled. His cock slowly leaving you, he then took the camera and zoomed in at the creampie he just did.

"¿Estás bien, chula?" (You ok?)

You just gave him a two thumbs up and giggled. Too sore to try and speak

"Ready for round two?" You only groaned. A bruise underneath your chin forming as he laughed.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #atsv miguel #t writes✨#miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel o'hara smut #spiderman 2099 smut #atsv smut

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sgbabereview · 2 months

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Name: Valencia

Age: 26

Estimated bra size: 33C

Skin soft to the touch, you would know that nothing else feels better against your ball sac as you explore a body. Valencia’s amazing skin would make your balls tingle just thinking about it.

Now, I’ve seen enough insecure sluts who are desperate to upsize their tits with a bit (a lot) of compression? But Valencia has me convinced that she truely has a perky set of Cs under her clothes.

There’s something truly sexy about her classy style and bratty vibes.

Her firm figure earns her a deserved spot in our #fitfucks series and her bangable frame, which would feel good being tossed around a bed, puts her firmly in the #sgsluts group too.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve came to her body and several contributors have said the same. Definitely will be back for more.

While Valencia might not make it into the coveted #30A series for our flat chested sluts, her perky little boobs are still deserving of recognition here on SGBR!

Do you want Valencia to become the MOST DESIRED GIRL on SGBR? The cum target with the most REBLOGS gets to attain the coveted title!

Submit your irl sluts and their leaks for review!

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 months

Text

Too Close for Comfort 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, a grumpy man, age gap, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You find a place to stay for the semester but your landlord is less than hospitable.

Characters: Joel Miller

Note: I said I'd get to Joel and I'm sorry to neglect everyone else lol.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

The suburban sprawl awes you as you steer down the gentle curving avenues, taking in the trimmed hedges and the short picket fences. The neighbourhood is a stark contrast to the grim backstreets where you grew up. As you turn into the bright cul de sac, you can't help but wonder if you put the wrong address into the app.

The automated voice declares you've reached your destination just as you drive past the house from the posting. You hiss as you confirm the metal numbers mounted on the brick are the very same. You swerve into the nearest lot and reverse, forgetting to look as you do.

A loud honk has you slamming on the brakes as a large truck flashes its lights in your rearview. You give a sheepish wave and cringe, waiting for them to pull in. You sink down as you notice the bulky Chevy roll expertly into the lot in front of the very house that distracted you.

You hold in a groan and back up, straightening the wheel and parking along the curb. A man drops heavily to his feet from the pick-up, slamming the door behind him. You wince and grip the steering wheel nervously. That must be the man you emailed.

Great first impression...

You open your car door to get out only to be trapped by your seat belt. You quickly click the button to release yourself and climb out of the car. You step up on the curb as the man scowls towards his front door, tramping up the cement walk between neatly groomed grass.

"Um, excuse me, Joel?" You call after him, "are you Joel Miller?"

He stops before the bottom step of the porch and pushes his head back with a growl. He turns to face you, agitation creased above his brows. You try to smile but your lips only tremble.

"Um, sorry to bother, I'm the one who messaged you. Er, about the room. You know, uh, online?" You wave your phone at him and his eyes dully focus on the gesture.

He crosses his arms. You shift your weight on your feet, not daring to break the threshold of his lawn. Right, you don't think this is going to work out. You should've known it was too good to be true.

"I'm sorry--"

"I'm Joel," he interrupts, "you're my one o'clock," he checks his watch, a brown leather band strapped around his thick tanned wrist, "you're early."

"I... yes, I am. I hate being late--"

"Doesn't matter," he dismisses tersely and twists on his heel.

He climbs the front steps of the two-storey house as you watch helplessly. His broad shoulders stretch the thin cotton of his tee shirt as he rolls his shoulders and keys in the code to the front door. You slump your shoulders, hooking your fingers in your pockets as you make to turn back.

"You wanna see the room?" He calls to you before you can retreat.

"Oh, uh, sure," you hop in place and quickly scurry up the wall, "er, that would be great."

You clatter up the steps, tripping over the last one. He stands by the door, staring at you dully as he holds it open for you. You show your teeth appeasingly as you approach.

"Take your shoes off," he points you inside.

You step onto the mat and bend to untie your sneakers. He enters after you with a sigh. You quickly sidle out of his way as he nearly bumps into you. You slide your shoes aside and stand as he thumbs off his boots.

"It's above the garage," he points to the east wall. That is east, right?

"Sure, uh, cool," you follow him past the staircase.

He leads you to a door just before the kitchen and opens it again. It occurs to you then, maybe too late, that he's a complete stranger and you've walked carelessly into his house. You look at him, trying to hide the flicker of doubt. It doesn't help that he doesn't smile. Actually, you're not sure if that would be any better.

You go ahead of him and climb the stairs behind the door. You enter the room, fully furnished and relatively cozy. You're impressed. It's not much but enough to make do.

“Built in the bathroom,” he explains as he does to another doorway, “only half bath, you'll have to use downstairs for a shower. Kitchenette,” he goes to the counter mounted into the wall, “microwave, hot plate sink, guess you could get an electric kettle.”

You nod as you look around. It's not bad; a bed, a chair and footstool, a table against the wall with two wooden stools. Of all the places you've viewed, it's decent and it's close enough to school

“I could… is that an offer?” You prompt.

“You got a job?” He asks.

“Sure, I work on campus between classes, and I have a grant,” you explain, “probably won't be here too much, just need somewhere to sleep.”

“Mm,” he rubs his chin, a hoarse bristle of brown and gray along his jaw. “Deposit?”

“Right, um, yeah, I got it. I could Venmo? Or paypal?”

“Cash,” he insists.

“Oh, uh, I don't have it on me,” you fumble with your phone, “but I can show you my balance.”

“Bring it tomorrow and the room is yours.”

“Really? Just like that?”

“Get the money in my hand and it's a deal,” he offers his hand, “you seem clean. You're a student. Better than the guy who tried to steal my silverware.”

“Uh, I won't do that,” you shake his hand and chuckle nervously.

“Mmm,” he growls and lets you go. “As long as you're quiet, I don't care what you do.”

“Oh, yeah,” you cover your mouth and lower your voice, “I'll do my best.”

He is unshakable. You're not the most charming character but you're harmless, most people realise that pretty quickly. You turn and continue to look around.

You go to the window and pull the cord of the blinds. Only one side raises and you yank it again. You give an oop as you angle it and try to let it down. It's only making it worse.

He huffs and crosses the room. You back up and he snatches the cord, rolling it up easily. You mumble an apology and look out, peering down at the driveway.

“It's really nice,” you say, “you said you put it the bathroom yourself?”

“Built the whole room,” he grumbles as he backs up, scratching the back of his, “something to do…”

“Right,” you smile, impressed by his handiwork. “Well, I can get the money. When should I come back?”

“Ten,” he says, “and don't be early. Don't need you interrupting my coffee.”

“Yes, sir,” you confirm, “ten…” you set an alarm on your phone and add it to your calendar, “I'll be here.”

You peek up at him as he watches you with narrowed eyes. His expression is enough to see you off. You're going to scram before he rescinds his offer.

🏘️

The next day, you head out to deliver the deposit. You take a little longer than you expected at the bank. You didn't consider that taking out a large amount would raise alarm bells.

With that sorted, you set off for your new home. This time, you park without issue, the Chevy truck unmoving in the driveway. You skip up the walk and take the steps two at a time. Your toe hits the top stair and you fly forward, colliding with the door.

You stand straight and laugh at yourself, reaching to knock on the door.

“Don't,” a disembodied voice warns.

You frown and look around. Your eyes catch the almost indiscernible lens above the doorbell. Oh, fancy.

The door swings open and Joel greets you over a gray blue mug. You stare at him awkwardly and teeter on your feet. Oh, yeah. You are here for a reason.

“Got it all here,” you proclaim as you loosen the drawstring on your purse, “counted it twice.”

He accepts it as he drinks from his mug, slurping down the last of the dregs. He clears his throat as he lowers the cup, “mm, great.”

“So, uh, not to be pushy,” you let your bag hang from your elbow, “when would I be able to… move in?”

His brown eyes bore into your very soul, “well… I guess whenever you need…”

“Great, because um, to be honest, it's really expensive to live on campus and my roommates are… messy,” you hesitate as you realise you're rambling, “not that that matters to you.”

“Just think of me like your landlord,” he grits, “don't bother me unless it's an emergency.”

“Got it,” you nod, “sorry, I'm excited. Oh, and I was wondering, am I allowed outside? Well, I don't mean, like, okay, is there a backyard?”

He nods stiffly.

“Am I… can I uh, use it?”

He stares then shrugs, “I guess. Two rules, stay out of my room and stay out of the garage. You got your room, you'll have access to the common space within limits.”

“Uh huh, makes sense,” you hold out the envelope and he takes it. “Well, thanks, I really appreciate it. You know, it must be a good investment, a little apartment…” you clamp your lips and cringe, “okay, sorry, I'm going.”

He doesn't respond. As you turn, the door snaps shut and you nearly trip again. It'll be a bit tense but it's better than scraping the bottom of the barrel to pay rent and dealing with Kaya's late night antics.

🏘️

You email Joel shortly after your last encounter. Restless, you're eager to be out of your overpriced and overcrowded dorm. You have most of your things ready to go. A single knapsack and a long duffle.

He agrees to the day before the first. You're not the sort to complain. It's better than the alternative. Short of the grumpy overseer, you really found the perfect place.

When you arrive, Joel's truck isn't there. You try ringing the bell but don't get an answer. You didn't expect any different. You sit on the top step and wait, admiring the facade of the neighbouring houses and the autumnal russets littered across their yards.

You’re not early. Not that early. You thought he’d be around or maybe give you some direction on how to get inside. Technically, this is your home too now. You signed the electronic lease.

When he drives up, you stand, swaying as you try not to seem too jumpy. He sits in his truck, taking his time as he lingers inside. When he gets out, he is in no hurry. You smile as he approaches and chew your lower lip.

His graying hair looks fluffy and soft despite his demeanour. He wears a tee shirt under a canvas shirt.

“Hi, er, Joel, sir,” you greet, “I… think I got the right day.”

“Was getting a key cut,” he slips his hand into his back pocket, “the keypad can be finicky. This one’s for the back. Just in case.”

“Thanks,” you chirp as you accept the key, “that’s awesome.”

His dark eyes challenge your enthusiasm as they flick up.

“Sure,” he agrees flatly.

“I’ll get my bags,” you announce as you back up, giving him room to step past you.

He rumbles but doesn’t give a real response. You hop off the step, landing clumsily, and follow the path down to the sidewalk. You pop your trunk and pull out your duffle and knapsack. As you go to shut the trunk, you feel a tug on the handle of the duffle bag and you hold back a yipe as a rough hand brushes the side of yours.

Joel doesn’t say a word as you let him take the bag. He turns and stalks back up the lawn. You can’t tell if he’s being helpful or he just wants to lock you away so you're out of his way. You hurry after him, keys jingling loudly.

Your foot hits the step and you nearly stumble again. You catch yourself with a stomp on the next step and he pauses at the front door to glance back at you. You offer another meek smile. He opens the door, waiting on you as you steady yourself.

“Sorry.”

“Slow down, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

You give a nervous chuckle. He’s not laughing. You gulp and hook your knapsack on your shoulder before you continue inside. He might not be the nicest but at least you can be assured he can fix anything you break. Not that you’re intending on that… hopefully.

#joel miller #dark joel miller #dark!joel miller #joel miller x reader #too close for comfort #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #the last of us #au #series

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bucky-fricking-barnes · 11 months

Text

Like Breathing - One

Title: Like Breathing

Word Count: 3.2k

Part Warnings: Dead and injured animals, killing animals, blood, harassment, and stitching up wounds

Summary: Bucky’s life in Cove is far from perfect, mostly because Cove’s residents want nothing more than to scare him away. Luckily for you, Bucky isn’t easily scared off.

A/N: This is the first part of Like Breathing. I hope you enjoy! As always, thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Translations:

Маленький = Little one

Like Breathing Masterlist

Bucky didn’t kill anymore. His therapist reminded him of that daily, which he loathed, but he still nodded along every time she said it. Of course, it wasn’t true. Bucky had killed yesterday.

The sleepy little town he had been placed in as part of his pardon was practically idyllic. Neatly trimmed lawns lined litter-free streets, and each afternoon when the schools let out, children rode their bicycles up and down the sidewalks. They played ball in the cul-de-sac and Bucky swore that one afternoon he’d even seen an ice cream truck turn the corner west of his house. The ranch-style, one bedroom home had been loaned to him by the FBI. It wasn’t something Bucky would have picked on his own, but Steve had reassured him that once he got his bearings, he could decorate it to feel more like his own place. Bucky had not done that. Everything was exactly as it was the day he moved in—basic furniture with no decor. The only personal items he kept were his clothes, a small box containing pictures and other items sent to him by the Smithsonian, and his laptop, which was also given to him by the FBI. It was most likely bugged, just like the house and the phone. The majority of the items in the house were either already there when he moved in or things he’d purchased for Alpine. Bucky always thought of those as her personal items, not his. She was the only other living being that had ever been in his house. Not even Steve had come to visit.

In the four months he’d lived in Cove, he had limited his interactions to the soft-spoken volunteer at the animal shelter and the older woman who manned the register at the pet store. Both of them had been instrumental when he adopted Alpine, a soft white cat who’d been surrendered to the shelter after she’d hissed at the previous owner’s kids. Bucky didn’t think that was a good enough reason to get rid of a pet. He hadn’t planned on getting a cat, or any kind of animal for that matter, but after his therapist suggested it, Bucky hadn’t been able to get the idea out of his head. It turned out that while Alpine had more attitude than Steve, she was affectionate when he needed it. Other than that, she preferred to keep her distance the majority of the time. She was welcome company while Bucky worked each day.

Laughter and jeering from his front yard drew Bucky’s attention from where he’d been reviewing surveillance data on the bugged laptop. He sighed and got up from the kitchen table, pushing his chair back and ignoring the screech it made as the legs scraped across the old linoleum. Alpine darted out from underneath the table at the sound, sprinting down the hall to the safety of the bedroom, just as she did every day at this hour.

As he trudged through the living room, Bucky didn’t have to wonder what was waiting for him when he opened the front door. Every time it was the same: a pickup speeding off with men teetering in the bed and some form of roadkill bleeding out on the sidewalk in front of his house. His stretch of sidewalk was the only one that kids never played on, and for good reason. The brown stains left by months worth of dead animals never seemed to go away, no matter how much Bucky scrubbed.

Jaw clenched, Bucky grabbed the bucket of tools from just inside the door and headed down to the front of his yard. The deer was young, practically still a fawn, and his chest tightened at the sight. Its chest rose and fell unsteadily and the panicked look in his eyes was all too familiar.

Slowly, Bucky knelt down beside the frightened animal, his back to the street. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he soothed.

The animal had been hit by a car—he’d seen these wounds plenty of times—and there was little chance it would survive. Most likely, it would bleed out excruciatingly slow on the sidewalk as the sun sank below the horizon.

“Let’s get you into the backyard, huh? It’s okay.” He kept his voice soft and even as he spoke to it, explaining what he was doing. He knew it couldn’t understand him, but after months of practice, he knew that talking to them kept them calm and kept him from getting a hoof or claw to the face.

Bucky unfolded the tarp from the five-gallon bucket and carefully manipulated the poor animal onto the plastic. Dragging it across the yard to the back of the house was easy, and when it was situated with the forest in view, Bucky left it to get his bucket of tools.

He hated every minute of this ordeal. Sometimes the animals were already dead. Those were the good days. He could simply haul the animal into the woods and leave it for the scavengers. This kind of animal, the ones that were left to suffer in plain view of his living room, were the cases he hated. His nightmares were plagued with them now, their whimpers interspersed with those of his victims long ago.

The most humane thing Bucky could do in situations like these was to put the animal down himself. The first time the creature had still been alive when the men had dumped it, Bucky had attempted to take the animal to the emergency vet less than a mile away. He’d been turned away at the door. The police were no help either, as the sheriff was almost always seated in the back of the pickup. He’d tipped his hat at Bucky one day while they sped away. Bucky had punched a hole in the living room wall.

“You’ll feel better soon,” Bucky said, eyeing the deer as he loaded what he would need into his waistband.

He dragged the tarp into the woods, into the clearing near the meadow. The young deer lifted its head, its longing for the rolling waves of grass and wildflowers clear as it groaned and settled back on the forest floor. Blood slicked over the blue plastic tarp beneath it and Bucky looked away, readying his weapon.

“I’m sorry,” he finally whispered. He looked away as he pulled the trigger. The familiar sound of the silenced gunshot didn’t phase him, and Bucky quickly cleaned up the remains, leaving them for the scavengers once he’d removed the bullet.

After hosing down his equipment and leaving it in the garage to dry, Bucky grabbed a bucket of soapy water and the stiff-bristled brush he used to scrub the sidewalk. He stepped out of the garage, but froze almost immediately.

Another animal had been left in the deer’s place, this time significantly smaller in stature. Bucky glanced back at his drying tools, then set his cleaning bucket down on the driveway. Water sloshed over the side onto the asphalt but he ignored it. In just a few long strides, Bucky knelt down at the animal’s side.

The cat’s fur was matted with blood and it whined pitifully as soon as he was within earshot, but when Bucky reached out to touch it, it hissed and tried to scramble away.

“Hey, I ain’t gonna hurt you. It’s okay.”

A flash of white made Bucky pause. He blinked and Alpine was between him and the other cat, her tail aloft as she stuck her curious nose in the injured feline’s face.

“Alpine, leave them alone!” Bucky scolded. “How did you even get out here?”

Alpine simply ignored him and moved to investigate the other animal further. He looked around, spotting the front door open. He must’ve forgotten to close it and Bucky inwardly kicked himself for making such a stupid mistake. It was usually more about what—or who—could get in his house than what could get out.

Sighing, Bucky reached out to pick up his cat. She obliged his touch, affectionately rubbing her head against his hand when he was close enough. The cat laying on the sidewalk watched Alpine intently as Bucky scratched behind her ears, then scooped her up and carried her back up the driveway and into the house. He shut the front door behind her, then went back to the injured animal’s side.

“You gonna let me help you now?” Bucky asked, keeping his voice soft. “Huh?” He reached out a hand and though the cat tensed, he was able to smooth back the matted fur to find the injury.

The cat had a long cut stretching down its right hind leg, from the hip all the way down to the paw. The blood had already begun to clot, which was a good sign, but it was still a cause for concern. If he jostled the animal too much, they could begin to bleed again.

“You really got into some trouble there, didn’t you?” As if to reply, the cat meowed and laid its head down on the stained concrete. It still watched him, but it had relaxed and Bucky felt a bit more confident in his ability to move it into the house where he could stitch up its leg.

“Alright, I’m gonna pick you up. I promise I’ll be as gentle as I can,” he said. He continued to softly narrate his actions as he lifted the cat and held it against his chest, then went into the house through the garage. He jabbed his metal thumb into the button beside the door so that the garage would shut behind him, just in case Alpine decided she wanted to do any more adventuring today.

Alpine, true to form, was waiting for him when he stepped inside the house. She immediately started weaving around his feet, and Bucky would’ve tripped over her if he wasn’t as agile.

“Careful, sweetheart. We gotta be nice to our guest,” he chided when she jumped up on the table. Bucky set the cat down on top of the newspaper he’d left spread out during his research earlier that day. He could get a new copy later if he needed to. Right now his priority was to clean and stitch up the cat’s wound.

After an hour of work, the injured cat had a freshly shaved leg with a freshly cleaned and stitched wound. She had, surprisingly, stayed still and quiet for the majority of the time, only watching Bucky with wide, frightened eyes. He’d discovered that the cat was a girl partway through, which had been more of a relief than anything. Alpine had taken quite a liking to the new animal. Maybe once the animal healed, his little friend could have a friend of her own, given that nobody came looking for her. Friends he could handle, but kittens were a whole other story.

Bucky shook his head as he went back to cleaning up the table. It was a methodical task, one he could appreciate, but he kept glancing back over his shoulder to check on the cat, who’d fallen asleep shortly after he’d finished. He’d set her up near the litter box, and he’d moved the food and water a bit closer so that she wouldn’t be walking as far on the injured leg. Alpine had curled up for a nap of her own on the floor nearby.

When you woke, it took you a second to remember where you were and what had happened. It wasn’t the first time you’d woken up in a strange house in your feline form, but the injured leg and the fluffy white cat snoozing nearby were a first. Rarely did you ever get hurt. Usually the wound healed well enough on its own, but the trauma from being grabbed by the strange man with the grubby hands and then being tossed off the back of the pickup had exacerbated the cut and your healing had come to a halt.

You’d been wary of the dark-haired man who’d found you. He’d had an aura of shame and fear about him, and you’d immediately recoiled. Then, the little white cat had appeared out of nowhere. She was his cat, she’d said in so many words, and the man was good. He fed her, played with her, and the house was warm and safe. You’d relented and taken a good look at him. Warmth had settled into your bones despite your injury and your gut had told you that the white cat was telling the truth. The man with the metal arm was good.

He had carried you inside, cradling you against his chest with the gentlest of touches. He seemed to know what he was doing as he fixed up your leg. At some point after he’d tended to the gash, you’d passed out from the pain and exhaustion.

Now, you were in a soft bed on the floor of his laundry room. You slowly uncurled and managed to prop yourself up without putting too much weight on your injured leg. You had to be careful—if it didn’t heal right, you could get stuck in this form forever, or your human form could suffer the effects of the injury as well.

Alpine lifted her head and blinked sleepily when she sensed your movement.

You’re awake.

“How long has it been since I passed out?” you asked.

She looked towards the back door, where the night sky was visible through several small panes of glass. Only a few hours.

A shout from upstairs made you jump, and Alpine was off like a shot. She raced out of the laundry room through the kitchen, and you heard her scramble down the hall. Another shout piqued your curiosity and you limped after her. Whimpers and a heavy sob were enough of a trail for you to follow.

The man was sitting on the edge of the bed, Alpine clutched against him and his face buried in her fur. He cried as you cautiously hobbled into the bedroom, sticking to the shadows along the walls. Your fur wasn’t dark enough to hide you completely, but it would keep you hidden long enough for you to judge the situation.

Alpine purred soothingly and you listened to the man cry as you looked around the room. The top of the dresser and the nightstand were empty except for a small digital clock and the man’s charging phone. Every space in the house, from what you’d seen, was strangely barren. There was nothing personal to tell you about your rescuer, and while that should have made you uneasy, it only made the sad pit in your stomach grow deeper.

You let out a quiet whimper when a twinge ran down your leg and the man stiffened. He lifted his head from Alpine’s fur and peered around the room.

“Маленький?” he murmured. “Is that you?”

Hesitantly, you crept away from the wall and into the dim light coming from the moon outside. You knew your eyes would glint in the light and he’d be able to find you easier that way.

Just as you’d suspected, the man’s attention snapped to you as soon as you were in the light. He set Alpine down on the bed and carefully knelt on the hardwood floor, his hand trembling as he reached out to you.

“You shouldn’t be up and moving around so soon,” he chided, and you meowed in irritation.

He hovers, Alpine said from her perch on the bed. You glanced up at her. When he’s worried, he hovers. When he’s scared, he hovers.

You let the man brush his fingers against your fur. He exhaled shakily and you stepped closer until he could run his hand over your back. The feeling was sublime and you arched under his touch. It had been so long since someone had touched you with such gentleness and care, and you knew then that you were a goner. You’d stay with this man for as long as you could.

“Thank you for saving me,” you told him, though you knew he couldn’t understand you in this form.

The man smiled a little. It didn’t reach his eyes, but he seemed to appreciate the tidbit of interaction you’d given him. In response, you bumped your head against his knee, rubbing against the soft fabric of his pajamas.

“I wonder if you’ve got a name or an owner out there,” he mused. He continued to pet you as you rubbed against his legs. Eventually, you stood still and peered up at Alpine, who had settled with her tail just over the edge of the mattress. She twitched it, knowing you could see, and you narrowed your eyes at her challenge. Alpine was a young cat, and though she was sweet and naive enough to believe that you were just like her, you sensed an air of playfulness and spice about her.

Noticing your change in focus, the man scooped you up and lifted you onto the bed. You wobbled a little on the mattress before batting at Alpine. She flipped over to play and you indulged her, playing as much as you could without putting the health of your leg in jeopardy.

“What’s the man’s name?” you asked, dodging her paw.

Alpine chirped back at you. Bucky, she said. That’s what the men on the phone always call him.

“The men on the phone?”

They call almost every day. He likes some of them. The others make him sad and angry.

You filed that information away for later use, and you were reaching out to block Alpine’s paw again when Bucky picked her up. He shifted her up near his pillow, then reached for you. On instinct, you backed away, your ears flattening when the metal of his arm glinted in the moonlight filtering in through the window.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Bucky soothed. “I won’t hurt you, remember?”

Another twinge of pain shot up your leg to your hip. You let out a sharp yelp when it twitched and hit the bedpost. Instantly, Bucky’s forehead creased in concern and he eased his flesh hand between your back and the wooden post.

“Easy now. I don’t want you falling off or hurting yourself more. You wanna get down off the bed? Is that what you want?”

You let out a slow breath and stared at him, forcing yourself to relax. You looked down at the floor and then at him in hopes that he would take that as a ‘yes’. When Bucky reached out and moved to pick you up again, you let him. He lowered you down onto the floor without another word. You scooted underneath the bed, closing your eyes when the feeling of being sheltered and safe settled into your bones.

“She’ll be okay, Alpine.”

Bucky’s voice was barely audible in the silence under the bed and you peeked open an eye, listening.

“She’s gotta be.”

Thank you for reading! If you liked this, please consider reblogging my work so that others can enjoy it too.

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Forever: @aya-fay

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Series: @almosttoopizza

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gumjrop · 4 months

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The Weather

All areas of the country are now at High or Very High levels of COVID Transmission.

According to the new CDC National Wastewater Surveillance System (NWSS) dashboard, all regions are experiencing increased COVID wastewater levels, with the Midwest being the highest. Nationally, wastewater levels are “very high.” Driven by the JN.1 variant, we are currently seeing the second highest wastewater levels since BA.1, the first Omicron wave in January 2022.

We continue to stress the importance of mitigating the spread of COVID, especially during this time of increasing transmission. Please continue to wear a high quality respirator mask (such as an N95) in indoor settings of any capacity, and postpone crowded events. In addition, make sure to take appropriate precautions when meeting with others.

Wins

Amidst this new surge, many hospitals – some responding to staffing shortages, and some responding to public pressure – have reinstated mask mandates. We celebrate the work of organizers across the country including those at Care Not COVID Chicagoland, COVID Safe Maryland, COVID Advocacy NY, and MaskBlocs around the country who organized a call-in to hospitals last week to demand they reinstate – and make permanent – masking policies. A coalition protest by Sacramento Jewish Voices for Peace, Sunrise Movement Sacramento, International Jewish Anti-Zionist network, Bay Area JVP, & Youth 4 Palestine Sac organized a fully masked (N95!) and tested (2 days in a row!) pro-Palestine protest at the CA State Capitol in Sacramento last week. ACTUP’s New York chapter has voted to require and provide KN95 masks at all upcoming meetings and actions “due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and recent surge, as well as to increase safety from surveillance at protests.” Solidarity means we protect each other, and these organizers are showing us the way!

Variants

JN.1, a BA.2.86 descendent, is rising to prominence quickly in the United States. Nowcast estimates predict that by 1/6/2024, JN.1 will account for 61.6% of circulating variants. According to preliminary non-peer reviewed data, the newest (XBB.1.5) booster helps to protect against the JN.1 variant. Conversely, older vaccines did not offer significant protection against JN.1. It is important to receive the updated booster, especially since uptake is currently low–according to a poll conducted by Gallup, only 29% of 6,000 participants surveyed received the updated vaccine as of December 7, 2023. This is in stark contrast to flu vaccine rates, polled at 49%. This is likely due to an imbalance in public health messaging–while efforts were poured into advertising the flu vaccine, not as much emphasis was placed on receiving the updated booster.

Hospitalizations

Weekly COVID hospitalizations continue to trend upward, now at 34,798 for the week ending December 30, 2023. The numbers for currently hospitalized patients with COVID are also increasing, currently at 25,430. In terms of regional trends, the Northeast and Midwest are seeing higher rates of hospitalization. When reviewing these numbers we must also remember that patients who are already admitted for other reasons and are suffering from nosocomial, or hospital-acquired infections, are not accounted for in this data.

Hospitals are overwhelmed. Healthcare workers are demanding support from administrators. Read this account of ER nurses at Montefiore Hospital in the Bronx who say that the hospital executives are refusing to open up vacant areas of the hospital to accommodate the surge in patients – leaving the ER dangerously overcrowded and forcing patients into hallway beds.

Long COVID

A new cross-sectional study published in Nature Communications found that Long COVID patients with post-exertional malaise (PEM) exhibit skeletal muscle changes that are exacerbated by exercise. PEM patients are also found to have unique pathophysiological changes, such as amyloid-containing deposits in muscle tissue. These findings contribute to mounting evidence that COVID infection can significantly damage the body, and more research is necessary in order to fully understand manifestations of Long COVID. If readers are curious, summarized findings can be found in this X (Twitter) thread, penned by one of the authors. Long COVID research is important. This is why it is essential that all Long COVID research centers adhere to the strictest infection prevention protocols. Read this account of a person disabled by Long COVID who dropped out of a study because the study personnel refused to mask. We saw this same phenomenon last spring at Stanford during a study of Paxlovid’s impact on Long COVID rates.

Take Action

This week Jewish Currents put out a report on The Epidemiological War on Gaza, which amplified WHO’s January 2nd announcement that “there are currently 424,639 [reported] cases of infectious disease in Gaza,” an area with only 2 million residents total. With the ongoing destruction of hospitals and deprivation of food and water and environmental pollution from continued bombardment, the occupying forces have ensured the conditions for continued deaths even in times of ceasefire. Call your representatives and join a protest this week to demand a ceasefire and the reconstruction of Palestinian medical infrastructure towards fair health access for all peoples! Let us support Massachusetts General Brigham Long COVID patients by telling the hospital to 1) meet all patient accessibility requests including wearing N95 respirators upon request and 2) make universal masking their new standard of care. They can be contacted through their contact form, or by calling 1-800-856-1983. Rashida Tlaib sent out an email blast informing constituents of the current surge. The message included acknowledgment of COVID’s airborne nature, recommendation to wear a well-fitting mask, a link to access free tests through USPS, and information on updated vaccines and COVID transmission. Let’s contact Congresswoman Tlaib and thank her for this invaluable action!

Future Weather Reports

Starting next week, we will begin to publish the Weather Report on a bi-weekly basis. This will allow our team to focus on crafting action campaigns to push for a comprehensive public health approach to the pandemic, including mask mandates, paid sick leave policies, testing access, Long COVID research, next generation vaccines, indoor air quality regulations, and more. We hope to see you in our expanded actions to end the COVID pandemic soon to come!

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nephblrus · 4 months

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staff meeting

this is a drabble i wrote ages ago but wanted to post publicly to link in my oc archive.

the following conversation is between Stella Halliday and other staff members. to keep is easier to read, anything Stella says will be in bold

s: “alright, something else i wanted to bring up, we got a new brand kid registered for the new season. Bleach Annaki”

“annaki?”

“isnt that the lethal kid?”

“what’s he doing here?”

“can he even register here? thought he was an academy student”

“he’s been AWOL for like 5 months!

s: “quiet. let me talk. he registered a few days ago and is planning on starting up in the next season. i went through his file last night. it’s long.”

“doesn’t surprise me, brand kid and all”

“yeah that kids a machine”

s: “apparently he moved in with his brother. after looking at his file i have some guesses as to why, but i’ll keep that to myself. what i do what to discuss about him, well- okay who has questions first”

“how is he registered here? he’s an academy student.”

s: “says he dropped out of school and his team 4 months ago. didn’t graduate. no further information on that”

“we don’t know why?”

s: “he definitely got injured. he’s got… quite the medical history. chronic illness, ink sac deformity, lot of random injures over the years, and specifically, a 2 month long hospital admission, directly following when he dropped out”

“holy mackerel”

“good god”

“poor guy”

s: “yeah. besides autism, there’s nothing noted as diagnosis’, but he clearly has some trouble handling emotions, and with all the stuff he’s been through, wouldn’t shock me if he had a good amount of trauma”

“oh for sure. brand kids get pushed hard. i used to follow his plays for a while, his dad is harsh. like, really harsh. Nic Annaki”

“i forgot thats his dad”

“who’s that?”

“you don’t know nic annaki?”

s: “nic annaki was the greatest player of his generation and currently is the coach of the annaki professional team. he funds a heavy amount of money into freshwater academy and the inkopolis anarchy industry as a whole”

“yeah, that kids definitely fucked up”

s: “so. i’d like to discuss a support plan for him. he’s in S to start but i can’t imagine it’ll take him long to climb the leaderboards. his brother, Perri, stopped by to talk with one of the nurses and give them some more info on his health the other day. he needs to be monitored on if he’s drying out”

“dry out?”

“you’ll know it when you see him, ends of his tentacles are white. permanent damage”

“how do you know that?”

“like i said. i kept up with him for a while”

s: “yes. for now he’s got a limit of playing 2 full rotations a day, which i’ve been told will get bumped up and up over time. he’s still recovering from… whatever it was”

“we’ll let the spectators know to have someone check in with him after every few games. keep an eye out for droughting”

“does he got one of those tube things? he’ll probably have a custom ink tank, gotta get that approved through mechanics”

they spend a bit longer writing down notes for what might need to be in bleach’s plan, reviewing his file as a group, and sending information where it needs to be sent.

#splatoon oc #splatoon #splatoon oc stella #splatoon oc bleach

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popculturebuffet · 2 months

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Here Comes Garfield: The Fantastic Funnies (A Comission For Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome one and all to Here Comes Garfield, my look at all things garfield. For the rest of the year this feature will mostly be a look at the 11 garfield specials, minus babes and bullets which I covered previously, as well as his appearence in Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue for last 420.

So for those just joining us: I'm a lifelong comic strip nerd, ever since my dear Aunt Paula gave me her spare copy of the Indespensible Calvin and Hobbes in the 3rd grade. From there I slowly glommed on to other strips over the years: From FoxTrot, to Doonesbury, to Get Fuzzy to Zits to Cul De Sac, to recent faviorites like Pheobe and Her Unicorn, Crabgrass, the Steenz version of Heart and the City, and Breaking Cat News, which i'm wrapping a huge retrospective of soon, and whose place this retrospective is taking on my friend Emma's Patreon slot.

I love talking about this fine art, fitting your best work in just 4 panels, all the wonderful characters many simply don't know exist, all the weird shit that happens.. it's good stuff. So naturally I also gained a love for specials based on them. And while I loved the Peanuts ones and will climb THAT massive mountain someday, as a tween.. my faviorites were Garfield's and it's how I fell in love with the fat cat, the cool cat the nobody's cool cat.

While younger me did like garfield as a strip, especially that one arc where Garfield gets caught in a window blind and it conttinues to suck in an escalating number of people

Truly the "Snoopy's Awkward Nephew" of Garifield comics. Pure art. But while I liked it, it was watching the specials on the DVD garfield as himself that sucked me into the character. The DVD"s were released around the time of the first movie and releases of Garfiled and Friends to cash in and they certainly got my money. 12 specials, all ranging from excellent to watchable, and all wil lbe covered this year.

However before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story: See while Here Comes Garfield was Garfield's first SPECIAL.. it wasn't his first apperance in animation. Two years before that Garfield lept onto screens and into the inky depths of animation with a short but scene stealing apperance in the 1980 special the Fantastic Funnies, an apperance I honestly didn't even know existed till recently, but is such a weird and important piece of garfield history I had to cover it and Emma was on board to comission it.

So what exactly IS the fantastic funnies you may ask. Well i'll tell you.. you may ask. The Fantastic Funnies was a sequel to the earlier special The Fabulous Funnies, a celebration of comic strips interviewing various creators and including a live action on animated bit with Rob Reiner. I haven't seen it but if there's enough intrest I might cover it. The special was a hit for NBC, with CBS regretting having passed over the idea when animation maestro and peantus producer Lee Mendelson suggested it. After they remembered he'd pitched it and they'd been stupid at all of course, as is the executive way. They called dibs on the next time.

The next time was 12 years and an animated series that didn't do so good later, and CBS was front and center for the Fantastic Funnies, taking the concept but spiffing it up: this time the interviews were, with two exceptions, each accompanied by an animated short, there was an animated bit to start it off, and we also got a few musical numbers and live performances from the broadway cast of annie.. well two of the broadway cast of annie bu tthat's still more of the broadway cast of annie than has been on this blog so touche Fabulous Funnies, touche. It's the most 70's thing to come out of 1980 and i'll be covering the whole thing under the cut.

Fantastic Funnies is hosted by Loni Anderson, who at the time was on CBS' hit WKRP in Cincinatti.. and what i've seen of it is excellent. She hasn't really done anything else i've seen, but she seems nice enough.

This makes it awkward as hosting wise she feels shoved into the special. The script she's given feels awkward, with her only genuine enthuasim coming from Barney Google. I honestly wish I could be as jazzed about Barney Google and his go go gooogly eyes as Loni Anderson apparently was in 1980. I AM that jazzed about Snoopy's awkard teenage nephew

But it's not the same alas.

I can't even blame her as anderson was already frustrated with her pay for the series she did do and would demand more from the network leading to a brief exit from WKRP. I can't be too hard on her for not giving a fuck about an extra gig they saddled her with she didn't ask for with a script written by a block of wood on several pounds of qualudes. She did her best under the circumstances.

The circumstances also include getting animated as a cartoon, lucky, and getting to introduce a panel of various comic strip all stars of the time.

Okay so going row by row, with the strips self titled unless otherwise stated.

Front Row: Charlie Brown and Lucy (Peanuts), Nipper (Wee Pals), Dennis the Menace (US Comic), Nancy and Sluggo and Little Orphan Annie. Second Row: Blondie and Dagwood, Dick Tracey, Barney Google (Snuffy Smith), Alley Oop and Prince Valiant

Third Row: Pogo, Tumbleweeds, miss Peach, B.C., Beetle Bailey

Back row: Michael Doonesbury (Doonesbury), Broom Hilda, Drabble, Cathy and Hagar the Horrible

And in their own section because dogs apparently don't get bleacher seats at Walden, where I assume this is taking place as the only college out of these strips, we also get the dogs and one very special cat in their own section.

So Snoopy, Daisy (Blondie), Fred Basset and Garfield who are all about to throw down when Lonnie announces they have to get back to the human world for the show. But before that a song they all prepared, and it was at this point in the special I had to ask myself the tough question:

I still don't know. But yes the song is like living in a living nightmare and I don't care for it. It's thankfully short and Broomhilda takes them all to the real world. But that's a story for another day

Sadly not that day.

For now the special settles int' it's formula: Lonnie introduces a cartoonist, they talk about how their strip came to be, we get an animated segment about it. The only exceptions to the last part are Wee Pals, which instead has it's creator voice over one of his strips directly and Prince Valliant, who gets jack shit.

It was at this point I also realized a bit of an issue. While I mentioned my love of comic strips.. most of the ones I adore come from the late 70's onward, with Doonesbury and Peanuts being the big exceptions. I don't have anything against strips from before that time, I've read what I could of Pogo and want to read more and Krazy Kat is still well loved for a reason. I've also recently gained an appreceation of popeye thanks to Randy Millholand's take on the franchise.

The thing is I started devouring every comic strip I coudl in the 2000's. It was a great time for that as every strip got at least ONE collection, so even if you didn't read the newspapers, you could get a sample of a wide range of strips in book form. Boondocks even got a hilarious title out of it for it's first book.

So I got to sample a wide range of strips, many of which I still read today: Get Fuzzy, Zits Pooch Cafe, For Better or For Worse, Baldo, La Cucaracha, Cul De Sac, Lio, Luann, Rudy Park, Adam@Home. Many strips I first found in collection and binged later. Sadly this went down in the 2010's but thankfully the kids comics boom has meant many newer strips have gotten collections. It's why I have collections for heart of the city and crabgrass on my shelf.

But as you may of noticed... most of those either started in the 2000's or in the 90's. Most of the kings features based strips simply didn't get collections and thus I didnt' notice them.. and by the time I could i'd mostly heard of them by reputation as dinosaurs that would go on till the heat death of the universe via various legacy artists who wouldn't really change a thing.

And I do GET why: a lot of these legacy strips.. are ran by family members who want to honor the legacy and may simply not feel comfortable altering the strip too much. I'm not asking that dagwood suddenly become a t-rex... i'd love that, but I get i'm not everyone's target audience. Not every strip can be Pooch Cafe and go entirley off the rails AND still be every bit the strip it always was AND be good

It's hard. So I do have some sympathy. It's not limitless: while I get not doing so say in the 2000's when handing your strip off to another cartoonist, let alone your DAD'S strip wasn't a thing unless they were going to stay the course, in the 2020's and late 2010's we've had a bunch of great reboots and soft reboots of legacy strips: Randy Millholand of Something Positive fame did such a fantastic job on popeye sundays he got a weekly slot with olive and popeye, giving other creators the chance to do their own olive oyl strip basically alongside his. Mark Tatulli got tired of doing heart of the city (Lio both continues and slaps hard) and rather than phone it in or end it, handed it over to the talented Steenz, whose work on the strip is both something entirley diffrent but something entirely fresh and fun with some tight continuity. Olivia James made people care about Nancy for the first time in decades and has a nice dry wit. And while Henry Barjas keeps the soapy stylings of gil thorpe and hasn't changed as much as his contemporaries he still isn't afraid to shake things up having Gil go through a divorce, get two new assitant coaches, a third assitant coach who was once his arch nemisis and making the teen cast far more diverse including trans and non binary characters, being one of the few creators to do so in comic stripery.

While I don't want you going after these old men, and please for the love of god DO NOT GO AFTER THESE MEN. I do not want that. I may gripe, but these seem like decent guys just ones who won't evolve and have no reason to. I'm just outlining why maybe i'd rather read strips that keep growing with age or have fresh new voices rather than "Dagwood still hasn't left the 1950's and when theyt ry to it's embarassing for everyone involved. "

I.. didn't mean for this to turn into a screed on legacy comics that never really changed but it makes it all the more special tha ta lot of these creation stories for these comics still fascinated me.

The big standout was Wee Pals, a strip I hadn't heard of as it ended in 2002. Wee Pals was created by Morrie Turner, a cartoonist and protege of Charles Schultz who bemoaned the lack of black characters in the newspapers. Charles told him why not make one, and Wee Pals came about, with Turner diversifying the cast to drum up intrest creating one of the more diverse casts in earlier comic strips as a result. Nowadays it's a tad quaint, but I can't fault the man for trying to make comic strips less white and i'm glad I know this pioneer exist. I'm also mildly annoyed his strip wasn't animated, as it was one of the funneist present, with our heroes talking about one's pet chameleon.

There were other intresting stories too: Cathy Guthwise based Cathy on her own life, just changing Cathy's job from cartoonist to "whatervers funnier". Broom Hilda, a strip about a wtich, was something his creator tried pitching as an add character first. IT's small stuff but it always fascinates me how a strip comes about.

The only outright hilarous one is Johnny Hart, who kept trying to sell a caveman character, his friends asked him to put up or shut up so in his words "He drank 4 beers and the caveman slowly came into focus." He just.. outright got hammered to fuck because that was a normal thing in 1980 and created a classic comic strip out of it that later became obessed with jesus. Amazing.

The interviews are neat and while I may not like these strips I respect their creators.. and the creator of Hagar for putting on a viking helmet. Good stuff.

As for the animated segmets.. their eh. Like I said most of these strips are pretty gag a day and it seems like the shorts just flat out animated a strip. Which can work as it does for the raeson we're all here, garfield will come soon I promise, but for the most part it just dosen't land for me

In two cases they just flat out take bits from pre existing specails: For Doonesbury they take a bit of Joanie at the daycare.

For those less drenched in the deep and complex lore of doonesbury as the werido who has a ton of print books and bought digitals of strips he already had and books he already bought years ago just to have a copy on kindle: Joanie Caucuss was once a house wife, who got tired of it and her husband clinton and hitched the first ride she could away from his sexist ass. That ride happened to be with strip lead Mike and his best friend and revolutinary Mark on a motorcycle trip to find america. They took her back with them, she joined them at their commune, and soon got a job in daycare while trying to become a law student, which is the status quo the special used. Soon after she'd become a law student, head to berkley, find the love of her life and a long LONG list of other stuff up to present day where she works as a campaign manager on occasion during her alleged retirement.

It's not a bad bhit, but I get the sense they wanted to pick the least political thing they could.. yet weirdly DIDN'T go with the musical number or the dinner the group have. Or you know just accept doonesbury is political and include frank discussions of the 60's in this special.

For Peanuts, they just include an animated bit of snoopy singing suppertime from your a good man charlie brown. It's new animation far as I can tell, as the bit wasn't in any of the specials and they woudlnt' adapt the musical till the mid 80s. It's fine I just question why they didn't recycle anything from the specials.

Finally Cathy is from it's special, but fits, with her "wanting to have it all". A very cathy joke and frankly had I not found out she has three specails, i would not have been able to tell.

As for the other material either recycled from the fabulous funnies or made for this special, i'm going in no paticular order.

Beetle Bailey: Beetle runs away from sarge to try and get out of doing the obstacle course

Hagar the horrible has a trite bit about his wife telling him to take out the garbage VIKINGS DON'T DO THAT. YOU SO SILLY HAGAR.

Dennis the Menace keeps drawing out bed time because kids do that, even immortal children who aren't all that menacing.

By now your starting to get what a mountain it was to climb this special: short interview, unfunny skit, short interview unfunny skit, rinse repeat, toss away my sanity. I TRY to be positive on this blog, try not to be a dickhead.. but this special is so damn boring half the time. The interviews are kinda neat but the animated bits are just.. so lame.

So as a break let's talk what else the special did to fill time. Loni Anderson sang the radio themes to Popeye and Little Orphan Annie. IN the former's case.. that's all you gets. No adventure, no high seas just her singing the popeye theme. We dont' even get a musical number from the popeye movie because it hadn't happene dyet. I want to hear bluto say i'm mean over and ove rand over again. I"m that desperate.

Annie DOES get the cast of the broadway show, a huge hit then and forever, to do two numbers, both iconic and both well performed: The first is I dont' Need Anything But YOu, the cute duet between Annie and Warbucks, and then of course Tommorow best sung by bill the cat.

But the kid they use here does pretty good herself. They have it sung at the only playground in budget for some reason, but they did their best.

We also get a truly batshit bumber about peopl eneeding their funnies, from reading them as they go down the fire pole to IN A MOVING CAR. Yes even serial murderers need their funnies as they mow down pedestrians. It's nature's way. I do relate to tha tboost you get from reading them every day, I do so and I have to use three diffrent sites: one for andrews mcmeel, one for king features, and one for the webbcomic kevin and kell. So I get it. Three's also a closing number I ran away form.

The final non torture bit is Johnny Fever from WKRP. Due to a news strike he's tasked iwth reading the comics and drmatically reads flash gordon. Howard Hessman is hilarous as always, the bit is fucking great, and it woke me up after several strip adaptions put me to sleep. good stuff.

Back to my cycle of torment, and we have a Blondie cartoon and one of the few animated bits in the specail that was intresting. And unintetionally hilarous as Blondie gets dagwood THIS haircrime done to him.

What makes it funny is that not only is this haircut too much even for the 70's, but Blondie LOVES it, as do the kids.. despite all three of them having never updated their styles. Granted Blondie's hair game is timeless, so I get her point but it's just a .. weird plot to pick for blondie.

Naturallyt his being blondie instead of forcusing on the problem of "his wife wants him to try a hair cut that makes him not feel himself" it's in part him worried tha this friends and co workers will laugh. I mean they will, it's as if Luke Skywalkers hair started to eat into his brain, but that shoudln't be your takeaway and him washing it out while Blondie's alseep solves nothing and isn't funny. "Haha he can't be honest with his wife and she's going to later cite this incident to thier marriage counclier". Granted I would ENTIRELY read Dagwood's hair causing a divorce between them, but i'm not sure that's an arc Blondie readers want. I do wnat reprints of golden age blondie as it apparently involved Dagwood having to get disinherited to marry blondie, getting drunk, and other soap opera stuff more intresting than Dagwood trying to single white female mark hamill. Huh now THAT'S a Disney + series i'd watch. get on it disney

The other really fun one is Marmaduke. This one's just kidna fucked up. Marmaduke want sto go sleep in the same bed with the kids, which can somehow fit all three and is adorable so I don't get why not, but the dad tries to make him go outside because that was the thing with dogs. It hasn't aged terribly with charlie brown because snoopy clearly likes having his own pad and the inside is larger than most mansions, let alone the brown house

And when the whole thing burned down in one of the more sobering strips in the series run

Charlie Brown dutifully helped him plan his new house

Honestly I could talk about Snoopy's house burning down all day but it's not what you came for. You came to hear me tell you how it relates to Marmaduke. My point is Marmaduke just has a regular ass Dog House, and just wants to sleep in bed. I get this was normal at the time, it used to be the norm that dogs woudln't sleep in bed.. but my Dog YOshi curls up on my mom' sbed every night and maddie, my other dog , only dosen't when she's not on her own bed restfully asleep as she is as I type this. what i'm saying is maybe just maybe forcing dogs to live outside at night was cruel jackassery and maybe letting the big old dog curl up at the foot of the bed or, if he prefers tucked in while old man bastard can sleep outside and think about his life choices. Also i'm shocked this wasn't the plot of either marmaduke movie. It's so perfect. One man's journey to be a better dog owner .. or Marmaduke repeadely hitting him in the nuts with a tennis ball machine and other various objects. I"m not picky. Also i'm not touching either of those films unless someone pays me the 15 dollars it'd take to comissoin it. I'll review plenty of garbage on my own time, but I have limits. Pete Davidson is very much a hard and fast one. Owen Wilson is fine though. We love owen in this house.. but even he can' save cgi marmaduke and we all know that.

Pogo also takes a bit from the then upcoming film I go Pogo.. a guy I don't know tries to take two passing critters for a ride using the old shell game.. only to have put something under every one. i'ts a nice joke and it works well, and the gorgeous claymation. Given it's both election based and based on a comic i'd like to know better, me reviewing that .. would still be 15 if anyone wants it but far less of my own personal hell. But i'm more likely to do that one on my own. Fun fact: pogo's election storyline's inspired bloom counties, which I will be covering this year or at the very least the 1984 one.

BC has some bit with a turtle. It sure does exist

Broom Hilda asks who the fairest in the land is and her mirror calls her second. She responds by breaking it. This bit.. was actually funny. I'm not sure Broom Hilda would be for me as it's main gag seems to be "Gee isn't a woman chasing men against their will funny" which

Same other way around or with non binary folks. But I did like this and her horning in on mike's close up

She looks like she's about to hit on him but adorably so and he looks just.. so done with it as he always is. I mean.. I can't have turned out worse than Mike's actual first marriage. his second is pretty ballin though.

Mama has her Son say that life is a song.. onlyf or her to sing about him neglecting him. Get it because guilt tripping is funny! This is apparently most of what Mama is.

Finally before our main event we have tumbleweeds with sexual harassment as some lady refuses to let tumbleweeds go. And that's not me being lazy that's his actual name. Though to it's creator's credit he retired rather than let it become "a zombie strip", so good on him.

Okay now for what you all came to see

Also garfield

Garfield's first aniamted special was MOSTLY worth the pilgramage here. While ti's only a few strips repeated, it's fascinating for just how diffrent it is from Here comes Garfield a few years later.

For starters the Fantastic Funnies used an early design for our faviorite cat, not the iconic entirely weird by this point earliest garfield but one more in between, not quite upright yet, but not nearly as realistic as day 1 garfield.

To the classic peanuts team of Mendelson and Mendez's credit they did a wondreful job, likely why they were chosen to produce the specials till the companies backing peanuts asked them to stop helping out rival specails, and this version of garfield heavily resembles what he was like in the strip this frame is based on

It's also telling how fast Jim Davis was evolving the special that by the time it aired Garfield had already changed his look up a bit, if still not fully to his more classic 80s look.

It's not a HUGE change, just a little thinner, with the bigger change being in how he sit's/stands

It's just a testament to how slowly but surely the character evolved in apperance over his first decade or so and part of what makes this intreresting: while the specials help chart this evolution, and helped cause it as Jim needed to draw Garfield with SKinnier legs for the opening dance number of here comes garfield, it's nice to have this bit of his evolution frozen in amber.

The voices behind the characters are intresting: to my shock Thom Huge ALWASY voiced john and basically only stopped doing it when he retired. Thom did voices for commericals and was an old frat brother of Jim Davis who Davis asked for help with this special. While the producers would recast huge for Here Comes Garfield, he sent them a tape and became THE voice of john in the same way Lorenzo Music became THE voice of garfield.

WHile that's weird enough... what makes this special stand out besides the earlier designs... is Garfield's Voice. It's not Lorenzo Music, who would DEFINE the character in my eyes and is THE garfield, no question, though Frank Welker and Bill Murray are admirable.. but Radio DJ and voice guy Scott Beach.

Beach is take is intresting as both Murray and Welker clearly take from Music, while Beach largely does his own thing. Instead of the dry, sarcastic bored tone Lorenzo perfected, Beach has that but it sounds more like Jean Shepard'ss narration in a christmas story. Shepard isn't bad but his voice for Garfield is less relaxed, mor ebooming and confident. It dosen't COMPLETELY fit and makes the short feel a tad weird.. but it's also hard to judge the voice as, like I said EVERY voice after took cues from Music. he left the perfect blueprint. The fact Chris Pratt isn't that dry, sarcastic , laid back voice the character has been defined by hasn't helped his case voicing the character at the time of this review. Beach does a good job, but he just didn't quite fit and it's hard to compare a 2 minute performance with dozens of hours worth of material from Music. Beach did a decent job, but he just wasn't the right guy for the part, simple as that. his voice just didn't fit Garfield's give no fuck nature that well.

Finally we have the specific strips adapted. nd the garfield wiki was a huge help here. Seriously fan wikis can have a bad rap but many are done by dedicated people who save me a LOT of work and do a lot of through research> Kudos guys, thanks for your help. So the wiki has each strip adapted. Excluding the "I have feet? " one we have

Not bad choices: they get all the garfiled bases: he dosen't like catching mice, likes food and Jon weight shames him a lot. Simple, quick and well done.

Overall the garfield shorts for this special are excellent. It's a short bit but it gets the character down and it's easy to see why, despite being the new kid on the block at only two years old at the time, garfield's the one who go ta specail out of the deal.

Now does he make the specail worth watching?

I mean if you like comic strip history like me, you'll get something out of it. There's a bit on the inductees into the hall of fame, but even then it's a long slog of interviews that are fairly short and shorts that are both short and tedious. The good bit here or there cannot save this.

Other than Garfield .. there really isn't much to write home about for the casual viewer or if your a fan of Peanuts and Doonesbury like I am, as both bits can be found elswhere. It's easier to either fast forward to the bit with a comic you like or find the garfield bits in their own little video, of which there are plenty. I'm glad I reviewed the special.. but it just hasn't aged well and probably wasn't that fun to begin with. Even as much as I ranted about how much I didn't know the strips.. i'ts still presented so dryly even if it had strips I liked more in it, it'd still be a bit of a slog. There's just not enough genuinely good stuff or loveable nonsense to keep this afloat. Skip the special but DO check out the early garfield stuff. It's brilliant.

Next Time: The first proper special as Garfield must save Odie from the pound.. after he grooves to Lou Rawls a bit. As is nature's way. Thanks for reading.

#garfield #peanuts #doonesbury #comic strips #comics #wkrp in cincinnati #doonebury #charles schulz #charlie brown #lucy van pelt #snoopy #hagar the horrible #blondie #wee pals #marmaduke #broom hilda #cathy

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adobe-outdesign · 7 months

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omg. i used a kilowattrell on my team for my entire scarlet + teal mask run. it was my ace and i used her in probably every battle. i never noticed that it has a throat sac or was a frigatebird. i fully thought it was an albatross or just a bigger cooler storm petrel. not sure if this is a failing on my part or the design team's part

It does inflate a little and light up, but it's mostly for brief moments during battle and easily missed. It's kind of like Veluza's filet away, where you'd be forgiven for not knowing it's a thing because it's hardly ever shown.

That's why I mentioned in the review that it would've been nice to see the throat sac be more exaggerated—even if it was just during battles, it would help get the concept across clearer.

#pokemon #kilowattrel

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animebw · 1 year

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Short Reflection: Winter 2023 Anime

Is it just me, or did this season of anime kind of blow? Yes, anything would be a step down after the absurdly stacked Fall 2022 roster- and in fact, two of my favorites this season were continuations of shows I already liked from fall (Blue Lock and MHA)- but man, there was just a stench of failure around so much of Winter 2023′s offerings. Not just in how many of them turned out to be disappointments, but in how many of them didn’t even get to finish in time! Barely a week went by without another show suffering long delays, production after production crumbling under the weight of mismanagement and corporate apathy that doesn’t care how many animators are worked to death for an inferior product as long as they can make some extra cash from rushing it out early. I mercifully managed to avoid all the victims of these delays (well, almost; RIP Kubo-san Won’t Let Me Be Invisible), but even existing in the same space as them felt like it took a toll on everything else. This was a rough one, folks. But there were still some gems worth highlighting, so after spilling my thoughts on Onimai, Trigun Stampede and MHA Season 6, here are my thoughts on the rest of the anime I managed to finish this season!

(Also no Vinland Saga review yet cause I’m waiting for the season to be over, but spoilers, it’s still really fucking good. You’re shocked, I can tell.)

Tokyo Revengers Season 2: 1.5/10

You know what? I give up. I gave Tokyo Revengers every opportunity to finally pull itself together and turn into a good show. But not only did it drop the ball so hard the shockwave registered on the Richter scale, it felt like it was actively going out of its way to suck as hard as it could. Every single plot thread in season 2 is bungled so horrendously, from Takemichi’s increasingly unforgivable stupidity to the insulting cul-de-sac fights that change nothing about the status quo to the truly infuriating mishandling of every female character (Hey, I know, let’s give Yuzuha a panty shot while she’s being beaten by her abusive brother! Great idea!), that there is no possible way this show can ever recover. Even if the next season is somehow a masterpiece that fixes all the series’ issues- which it won’t be, let’s be honest- it won’t change the fact that Tokyo Revengers has established a new low for lazy, intelligence-insulting storytelling in shonen. The only reason it managed to get so popular is that it keeps making you think it’s about to do something really cool and meaningful with its high concept. But at this point, it’s all but proven that it never will. Fuck this show, fuck the manga it’s based on, and fuck everyone who accepts this barely-animated hackjob slop as anything close to acceptable entertainment.

The Fire Hunter: 2/10

Between this and Mars Red, I’m really starting to hate studio Signal MD. They’ve got a habit of turning fascinating highbrow fantasy premises into some of the dullest, sloppiest, most poorly produced pieces of pretentious dogshit that think they’re high art imaginable. And this one’s directed by Mamoru Oshii! He’s supposed to be a veteran director who knows his shit! How did he turn out such a colossal flop? Almost nothing in The Fire Hunter works on an audiovisual level; the animation is embarrassing, the direction is incomprehensible, the editing is somehow even worse (I have never seen such poorly timed painterly insert stills), and the whole thing is smothered under a droning soundtrack that drowns every scene in the same overbearing, tuneless sonic dead air. Even the best script in the world couldn’t survive this cataclysmically bad production, and suffice to say, this is very far from the best script in the world. It’s equal parts mind-numbing exposition, dull narration, and pointlessly mean characters with no interesting internal struggles or worldbuilding to justify the air of arrogance about the whole affair. The Fire Hunter desperately wants to convince you it’s art, but it’s just crap. Skip it.

To Your Eternity Season 2 (2nd Half): 3/10

I’ll give it this: the second half of To Your Eternity’s second season is unquestionably better than its first. Not a very high bar to clear, I realize, but after the utter slog that was Bon’s introductory arc, it’s good to have actually interesting things happen for a change. Unfortunately, for all the fresh air the siege of Renril brings to the proceedings- new characters, new kinds of stakes, a bonkers re-imagining of what Fushi’s powers are even capable of- it’s nowhere near enough to save this show from running itself into the ground. Whatever magic To Your Eternity once had is well and truly gone, buried under a flood of terrible production compromises and questionable story choices that have lead it down a path it can never recover from. No matter how much future arcs might try to turn things around, they’ll never escape the lesson this show has somehow forgotten it used to preach: when something dies, it can never truly return. To Your Eternity is dead. It’s over. Let it rest in piece while it still has some faint shred of dignity left.

Giant Beasts of Ars: 3/10

Did someone open a time portal to 2006? Giant Beasts of Ars feels exactly like the kind of original fantasy anime that studios were pumping out two decades ago- and unfortunately, that’s not a compliment. It gets off to a good start with a strong introductory episode that sets the tone well for a fun magitech adventure with some giant monster fighting, but the second that adventure gets under way, pretty much everything goes to shit. The characters are bland. The world itself is dull and uninspired. The action is lifeless thanks to a weak production that can’t give these fights the oomph they need. And the plot escalates from understandable low-key stakes to some of the most asinine “suddenly we’re fighting god now” swerves I’ve ever seen. Seriously, the way this story loses all sense of scale in its final episodes as it barrels head first toward a climax left me stunned in disbelief. Never mind the fact it ends on an asspull cliffhanger that’s almost certain to never get resolved because nobody’s going to want a second season of something this limp and underbaked. What a waste of time.

Kaina of the Great Snow Sea: 3.5/10

I was really excited at all the fantasy anime coming out this season. After being swamped in the isekai sewers for so long, it was such a relief to see the industry remember they could tell stories about actual fantastical worlds and not just, you know, reskinned Dragon Quest knockoffs. So imagine my how immeasurable my disappointment was when one by one, all these promising series let me down. Kaina’s Naussicaa-inspired world of snow seas, giant spire trees and steampunk skiffs navigating an allegorical prayer for co-existence with nature and rejection of militarism should have been an easy slam dunk, a new Miyazaki for a modern landscape. Unfortunately, as beautifully realized as the world is- Polygon Pictures is no studio Orange, but their impressive background art and environmental storytelling continue to make a strong case for CG anime- the writers forgot to populate that world with anyone worth getting invested in. The characters are the stockiest of stock archetypes, photocopies of photocopies of tropes that have already been worn to the bone by decades of misuse and overuse alike. If you’ve seen even one generic fantasy anime, chances are you’re already sick of these characters, and there’s nothing fresh or particularly meaningful here to make up for the lack of originality. Don’t get me started on how poorly the princess is treated, yegh. Is it too late to unplug the concept of fantasy anime for a few years and hope it recovers some steam before we plug it back in?

High Card: 3.5/10

There is no excuse for High Card being as lame as it ended up. A Kingsmen-style goofy gentleman spy action comedy written by the author of Kakegurui in which secret agents in dapper suits fight with the power of magic transforming playing cards? And the entire world is themed around cards and card games (the country is Fourland, the spy organization is Pinochle with its office on Old Maid street)? This should have been a camp masterpiece every bit as delightfully unhinged as Kakegurui. This should have been the most gloriously Anime Bullshit (affectionate) experience of the year. But instead, it was mostly just Anime Bullshit (derogatory). It takes so little advantage of its concept, wasting episode upon episode on trite plotlines and cliche developments, jumping between so many tones and focuses without ever settling on a single one. I came here to see Twink Bruce Wayne summon bazookas out of thin air with the power of Instant Interdimensional Marketplace, not slog through the umpteenth iteration of “the stoic katana girl needs to open up to her male colleagues” or “tragic little sister with an incurable illness.” The bouncy ED, which sees the main cast all singing together in the car, was the one consistent bright spot, and even that started feeling more and more like an insult as time went on. If only the rest of the show were as loose and freewheeling as those painfully short 90 seconds per episode promised.

Don’t Toy With Me, Nagatoro-San Season 2: 3.5/10

Look, I’m no prude. I’m not above trash. Nagatoro’s first season was far from a masterpiece, but it had enough actual charm and character depth that I didn’t mind coming along for the ride. But the thing about trash is that just like every other show, you still have to do it well. Nagatoro wasn’t ever entertaining because it was a shallow wish-fulfillment rom-com for masochists, it was entertaining because it found something recognizably human in spite of being a shallow wish-fulfillment rom-com for masochists. And sadly, whatever spark made that first season work didn’t survive the transfer to OLM studios. There are fun moments here and there, but the overall package is just too half-hearted to care anymore. Not even the introduction of Nagatoro’s sister keeps the proceedings from feeling increasingly mindless. What’s the point of this show, really? What does it offer that I can’t get better elsewhere? Because if the only appeal is the teasing gimmick, well, Teasing Master Takagi-san is right there, people. You could be watching an actual good show about a girl mercilessly teasing her crush instead of this flavorless assembly-line mushburger of an anime. Just saying.

The Tale of Outcasts: 4.5/10

There’s something strangely endearing about The Tale of Outcasts, despite its many flaws. Does it read like every thirteen-year-old girl’s embarrassing stash of unpublished Ancient Magus Bride fanfiction? Yes, unquestionably. But you know what? There are far worse things to be. Maybe it’s the isekai exhaustion getting to me, but there’s something so refreshing about a cringey wish-fulfillment fantasy adventure populated by stock archetypes and hacky plotting that’s actually, like, wholesome? That feels like it was made out of genuine amateurish love for Victorian splendor mixed with demon furries instead of incel resentment that the world isn’t catering to their every whim? Yeah, it’s still cringe, but it’s charmingly cringe, not revoltingly cringe. I still can’t really recommend it unless you’ve got a real soft spot for deep-voiced daddy beast people who can be your angle or your dveil, but out of all the bad shows I kept up with this season, this was the one where I never minded clicking on that next episode button, and that’s gotta count for something.

Urusei Yatsura (2nd Half): 5.5/10

I think it takes a change in mindset to really appreciate Urusei Yatsura. True to its 70s roots, this is not an anime to watch for a constant sense of forward progression. This is a show to be enjoyed as a reliable weekly comfort, 25 minutes of mayhem every 7 days with a familiar cast of characters bouncing off each other endlessly. If you come in looking for a tightly woven narrative that’s always driving toward a forseeable endpoint like most modern anime confined to single cours runs, you’re likely to be disappointed. But if you let yourself just enjoy the chaos and don’t worry about what might come next, I think you’ll find a lot to like here. If nothing else, I appreciate Studio David sticking to that old-fashioned spirit. But I have to admit, I might’ve preferred a more streamlined adaptation that doesn’t waste a second of runtime. What can I say, I’m used to modern anime pacing. Or maybe I’m just annoyed by yet another instance of a tomboy character who wants to be more feminine. Which, you know, not Ryunosuke’s fault that particular trope has gotten so beaten to death these days, but still. Sometimes making changes for modern times isn’t such a bad thing, you know?

Revenger: 6/10

So y’all hear about this Gen Urobuchi guy? Apparently he was pretty famous back in the day or something, IDK. He’s been plugging away at his goofy Taiwanese puppets show for the past few years and slapped his name on the story concepts of a few high profile projects for extra buzz, but now at last, he’s returned to grace us with a full story and script from his own hands! ...and apparently from 17 years in the past as well, because from what I’ve heard, Urobuchi originally wrote Revenger back in 2006, well before the one-two-three punch of Madoka Magica, Fate/Zero and Psycho-Pass that would make him a household name. And boy does it definitely feel like a trial run of those shows. Not that it’s bad by any means; it’s slickly produced, the cast has good chemistry, and the Booch is clearly having fun coming up with creative ways for evil bastards to be mercilessly slaughtered. But that’s really all it is, with little of the staggering depth and emotional complexity that would later earn him a place among the greats. It’s a first draft of basically all the thematic ideas he’d later perfect: the corruption of systems of power, the failure of blind heroism, the necessity of finding hope even in the darkest corners of the earth. I still recommend it for any fans of creative edgy violence, but don’t come in expecting another Madoka. It’s a bite-sized snack of an Urobuchi show, not the main course. And I’m totally fine with that; it’s entertaining enough on its own modest merits to be worth a look.

Play It Cool, Guys (2nd Half): 6/10

Yeah, I knew this one was gonna grow on me. There’s nothing like a really good low-key deadpan comedy to put me in a good mood at the end of a long day. Really, I think Cool Doji Danshi’s secret weapon is how much it appreciates the mundane awkwardness of everyday life. I have been in many situations much like its titular characters, little moments of confusion where the pieces don’t quite line up how they’re supposed to and before I know it I’m putting my umbrella in the fridge because I momentarily mixed it up with the groceries. And also like its title characters, I’ve learned just how damn important these moments are to my life. None of us are perfect meat machines 100% of the time; in many ways, our clumsiness is what makes us human far more than our accomplishments. And there’s something so wonderfully comforting about watching these boys (and men) come to appreciate their own imperfections much as I’ve done of myself. We need more shows that celebrate that simple silliness as well as this one does. So if you’ve been looking for something to lift your spirits in this increasingly grim world, I cannot recommend this show enough.

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale: 6.5/10

Do my eyes deceive me? A non-isekai, shoujo oriented fantasy that’s all about slavery being a bad thing? Stop the presses, we’re defying all the norms over here! Between this and the new season of Vinland Saga, it feels like we’re finally starting to push back on the noxious floodgates that Shield Hero pried open, and I could not be more thankful for that. Now, is Sugar Apple Fairy Tale a perfect depiction of the dynamics of slavery? Fuck no, it’s a young adult wish-fulfillment romance about a hot sulky fairy boy falling for the woman that was once his owner, this thing’s as problematic as an Antebellum-era Uncle Tom’s Cabin ripoff. But at least it’s actually trying to say something about the effects of dehumanization on a societal scale and how it manifests, and I’d argue it succeeds more often than it trips over itself. Plus, how fucking great is it to have an actual shoujo romance again? Set in a charming fantasy world with some actual originality? Sugar Apple Fairy Tale’s not perfect, but its charms are evident of a trend I hope to see countless other shows follow. The more fantasy anime looks like this instead of The World’s Strongest Necromancer is Reincarnated With a Cheat Skill In Another World Harem (I just made that title up, but admit it, you weren’t sure at first), the better off we’ll all be.

Ippon Again: 6.5/10

We seriously need more good female-centric sports anime. The guys have been dominating the field with their shounens and seinens while the girls are forced to subside on moeblob table scraps more concerned with being cute than actually telling a compelling sports narrative, or else being handed the absolute bottom of the production barrel (cries in Farewell My Dear Cramer). Ippon Again isn’t gonna right the ship all on its own, but it’s a damn good first step. The characters feel like believable teenagers, their judo matches are given genuine weight and strong animation, and while it suffers from some tired sports anime cliches, it always executes them with heart firmly on its sleeve. At its best, it captures the same freewheeling adolescent spirit that defines the likes of A Place Further Than the Universe, and I don’t say that lightly. It’s no masterpiece, but it’s a damn good time with no caveats, and hopefully it’ll only be the first of many great lady-centric sports anime to come.

Tsurune Season 2: 7/10

If you’ve somehow forgotten about the first season of KyoAni’s pretty boys doing archery show Tsurune from back in 2018, well, I don’t blame you. As a testing ground for the studio’s rookie talent to take their first crack at putting their own show together, it was by far the studio’s most workmanlike production, an all-around solid experience but lacking the insane polish and panache that defines the KyoAni brand. But my god, what a difference five years makes. Tsurune’s second season isn’t just a massive upgrade on the production front, it’s a complete overhaul on the show’s entire look and feel. It’s sweeping and elegant, it’s vibrant and explosive, it’s as expertly poised and shimmering as a bowstring drawn at dawn right before it releases a brilliant arrow. This show has gone from KyoAni’s simplest looking show to one of its most richly cinematic, complete with earthier color tones and revamped score from Fruits Basket composer Masaru Yokoyama. Yes, it’s ultimately still just a show about pretty boys learning to shoot bows well as they overcome their issues together. But with such a massive step up in its look and feel, it’s officially become just as much appointment viewing as any KyoAni masterpiece.

Blue Lock (2nd Half): 7.5/10

Now that’s more fucking like it. Last season I bemoaned the lack of edgy death game nonsense I was promised in this edgy death game sports anime, but once we reached the second selection, Blue Lock kicked into high gear and made good on its premise at last. Betrayals! Allies turned enemies! Enemies turned allies! Overcharged homoerotic rivalries and break-ups alike! Overdramatic shonen boys trying to crush each other underfoot to grow stronger! Self-actualization through rejecting the power of friendship and embracing the power of “Fuck this guy!” This is everything I wanted when I first learned about Blue Lock’s premise, twisting the classic shonen sports formula into an equally blood-pumping tale of clashing egos and selfishness as everyone fights to become the best player by embracing their worst selves. It might have taken a hot second to get there, but now that it’s arrived, this show has become some of the most deliriously entertaining chaos you’re likely to find in the genre. Well done, you mad genius.

Buddy Daddies: 8/10

Man, whoever’s making the decisions on what shows PA Works produces is really on a roll lately, huh? It takes a real genius to look at premises like Ya Boi Kongming and Akiba Maid War and see an opportunity to create something truly special. But even that pales in comparison to the brilliance behind Buddy Daddies, a.k.a. “Hey, so this Spy x Family show is about to take over the world, right? What if we made our own version of that, but mix in the homoerotic buddy-cop energy of Tiger and Buddy to make it stand out?” That’s the kind of galaxy-brain thinking that’s rapidly making this studio a personal favorite of mind. And it’s that kind of confidence and pure solid storytelling chops that make Buddy Daddies just as entertaining and endearing as its most obvious inspiration. It’s not exactly the same- it’s set in modern day, it’s more focused on the child-raising than the assassin stuff- but it’s every bit as good at nailing that specific sweet spot of deliciously entertaining spy action, wholesome family hijinks, and the bittersweet space in between trying to reconcile those two worlds. Heck, Miri’s a way more realistic four-year-old than Anya ever was; you can tell the writers really did their research on what it’s like to care for a child that young. The year’s still young, but I think this show is already a strong contender for the feel-good masterpiece of 2023. Just don’t go in expecting the hot guys to kiss, because you will leave disappointed if you do.

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady: 8.5/10

We’ve done it, folks. We’ve finally cracked the code on how to make modern isekai great. Step One: Center it on a female protagonist with an actual personality instead of an empty self-insert male-patterned cooler full of stale oatmeal. Step Two: Make your story all about subverting the exhausting masturbatory self-centeredness of vanilla isekai in favor of a symbolic or literal revolution to give power back to all lovers of fantasy instead of pandering to maladjusted thirty-year-old manchildren. Step Three: As part of that progressive reinvention, make it GAY. AS. FUCK. The Executioner and her Way of Life was a strong step in the right direction, but as good as that show was, there was clearly still room to push things even further. But now, at last, that potential has been fully realized by the stunning tale of a reincarnated princess and a genius young lady coming together to revolutionize the world. Folks, MagiRevo fucking rules. The main leads are wonderful separately and even more wonderful together, the production is strong enough to carry the story’s soaring ambition, and it’s a genuinely powerful exploration of the harms caused by archaic systems of patriarchal power, and how difficult it is- but also how necessary- to change what’s been leading a society down the wrong path for so long. And while it drags a little in the midsection, it all culminates in a spectacular final act and a final episode that had me sobbing in my seat for 25 straight minutes. This isn’t just the best isekai since Re:Zero, this is a triumph of queer fantasy carving its own revolution through a genre that’s desperately needed it for far too long. So come join me and raise your banner with Anis and Euphie, because their journey deserves all the attention we can give. I promise, you won’t regret it.

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glass--beach · 3 months

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Live reacting to plastic death!

Just heard coelacanth for the first time, holy shit those time signatures?

Just heard motions for the first time, what the fuck the variation! (Teared up)

Just heard slip under the door for the first time, omg it's this one! Oh it's different! Holy shit.

Just heard guitar song for the first time, what is happening! It's so cool!

Oh my god! It's rare animal! Lovely transition for a lovely song :)

THINKING ABOUT YOU!!!

Just heard cul-de-sac for the first time, I LOVE STEREO USAGE I LOVE THIS ALBUM OH MY

I love hearing the snippets we've already heard on the website its so fun

Just heard whalefall for the first time, I've been hypnotised into sleep in the depths and I'm enjoying it

I'm free here

I fucking love these clashes!!!!!!

Just heard puppy for the first time, I'm crawling back and forth!! I WANT TO SCREAM BUT THAT WOULD ANNOY PEOPLE!!!!!

Just listened to the killer for the first time, this seems chill for a song called the killer. I'm sure it won't change. I can't believe I got caught in the teeth of a hunters trap. THE FIDDLE?? IS THAT A FIDDLE??? NO IDEA????

Hey!! It's the CIA!! Wiretap my head!!! You have succeeded in that!!!! IN YOUR TEETH; ON YOUR MIND; YOUR SYMPATHY'S A WASTE OF TIME; LITTLE BLINKING LIGHT YOU LEFT BEHIND!! I CAN'T HELP IT I KEEP COMING BACK TO YOU!!!

Just listened to 200 for the first time, OH THOSE CHORDS AND VOICE TOGETHER ARE SO GOOD. ... What the fuck is happening

My mouth is fucking doing the shocked emoji holy shit. What the fuck OH IT'S THIS SNIPPET. HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW DOES IT KEEP GETTING BETTER I'M WHAT. what. I think I'm short circuiting

Just listened to commatose for the first time, thank you for this album so much guys. This feels like the time to say that literally every song so far has fucking destroyed me this is such a good album and fuck. Oh! It's speeding up! I am jamming!! So hard!! Nothing left! Nothing left! Oh. OH. OHHH! the FUCKING CHANGE ONCE AGAIN IM BEING PUMMELED TO DEATH!!!1

NOTHING LEFT! NOTHING LEFT!! I'm bleeding out to death on the floor with a smile on my face. How is there like half of this left. How can it get any better. oh. a sense of calm washes over me as I wake up. I'm a bloodied mess but somehow still alive. I stare up in the sky dreading the future but living in the now. I recall everything that i must do and what's left for me. I close my eyes, right now i want to lie down and rest with my cuts and bruises. And maybe get pummeled again. The sun rises. I open my eyes. The stars are still there? I watch the sun and stars intermingled, something I didn't think possible until now. I promptly collapse on the ground due to blood loss but in a good way. The noises die down around me as I am once again trapped in my own mind.

Just listened to abyss angel for the first time. I'm burning, with the blood in the trees. I think I'm about to cry. There's definitely tears here. It feels like the end of a journey, every single step a delight. I sit. A new day is ahead. The sun has indeed risen again. For real this time. I lean back and smile, tears welling up, and feel prepared for the future ahead of me. Thank you.

10/10, every song.

*beep* this recording has ended. Thank you for listening.

dont even know what to say to this this is like a whole ass review and incredibly positive and kind so thank you so much! i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

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xoxardnekoxo · 9 months

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Movie Review: The Barbie Movie

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Somehow I managed to see the live action Barbie movie on opening weekend! It took a couple of days, but I made it!

Who isn't familiar with the most iconic fashion doll of all time? Without Barbie, there would be no fashion dolls. Since her introduction in 1959, the one-sixth scale doll has taken over the world with more than 200 careers and at least twice as many fashions and accessories.

But enough about that. Let's get to it. This is a movie review, not a doll review.

The teaser trailer turned out to be the opening of the whole movie, and I love it. Yes, there have always been dolls for little girls to play with. But until 1959, when Barbie entered the plastic world, the only dolls girls had were baby dolls or paper dolls. So basically dolls were a way of preparing girls for a future of motherhood and housekeeping. Okay, that's fine, if that's what you truly want.

So we see all the girls playing with their dolls and suddenly this Godzilla-like doll just pops up out of nowhere, prompting the girls to throw and smash their baby dolls in favor of this new toy. Then we get to a transition scene showing various women in Barbie attire - and they're all actual clothes that have existed over the decades! They even threw in one of the new Fashionista wheelchairs in there and one of the most recent vet fashion packs. When this movie comes out for purchase, I'm totally taking notes of what all outfits I see.

Enter Barbie Land. We've seen a lot of it in the trailers, but I'm still super amazed at the set design. Major props to those guys! They literally designed and built Barbie-size houses and created a layout/cul-de-sac of them in order to recreate them in life size. And there's literally dollhouses! Every Barbie home has a back wall and maybe a side wall or two. The front is always open, so every Barbie can see into every other Barbie's house at all times. Just like a real dollhouse! And inside those houses are various plastic pieces of furniture and decor, along with some stickers. Yep, there are food items in the fridge that are actually stickers, and the stove is also a sticker. Heart-shaped waffles, a slide that spirals down into a pool at floor level with painted water, stationary ocean waves, etc. It's literally a real-life plastic world. I love that! Barbie movies and shows in the past portray Barbie as though she were a real person, and of course her house reflects that. This movie is saying Barbie is a doll and is treating her as such.

The houses also have no stairs in them, so the dolls magically float from floor to floor in their homes, just like how girls move them between rooms. And getting dressed entails seeing an outfit already planned out and magically appearing on the Barbie. Brilliant!

So this all sounds like a cute movie, right? Well, it is, but keep in mind - this movie is rated PG-13 for "suggestive content." When I first heard that, I was like, what..... Not that it bothers me, but this is a movie about the number-one fashion doll in history, and fashion dolls are catered more to young children than anyone. So I was wondering what in the world this suggestive content would be. I would soon find out.

During the narrator's introductions, we meet Barbie's very first friend, Midge. Who, sadly, is no longer even in the Mattel lineup after being discontinued in 2004. You all know the story, right? Midge and Allan (later Alan) got married in 1990 or so, and in 2002, they were reintroduced with their three-year-old son, Ryan, and their infant daughter, Nikki (yes, that was her name - it just came later). Well, Midge came with a magnetic detachable pregnant belly that little Nikki was inside. People flipped at the thought of kids playing with a pregnant doll, saying it encouraged teenage pregnant. (Yeah, okay, sure.) So Mattel re-released her later with Nikki and no belly. That story was mentioned in the movie. Other recalled/cancelled/controversial dolls also made an appearance in the movie, including the infamous Earring Magic King and Sugar's Daddy Ken, along with Growing Up Skipper, Teen Talk Barbie, and Video Camera Barbie. So the movie is educational too! :D

Anyway, we're soon introduced to Ken, who's literally introduced as only being happy when he's noticed by Barbie. After all, he was created just to be her boyfriend. So Barbie's at the beach with all the other Barbies, and everyone is vying for Barbie's attention, including other Kens. So the main Ken decides to show off his surfing skills, only to bang right into the stationary wave and embarrassingly fly back into the sand. This starts a verbal squabble between him and another Ken about "beaching off." Yeah, they're talking about beaching each other off, saying things like "You can't even beach yourself off, I'll beach you off any day," etc. Yeah, say it fast enough, and it totally sounds like something else. There's part of your suggestive content right there. Then Barbie jumps in with, "No one is beaching anyone off!"

Then it's a disco party at the Dreamhouse. Well, one of them, since they're all Dreamhouses. Everything is all fine and dandy, dolls are dancing around in perfect sync, etc., until suddenly Barbie says, "Do you ever think about dying?" But she quickly rectifies this and the party continues. Then she and Ken are outside and Ken asks if he can stay at Barbie's house for the night, to which she asks why. "Because we're boyfriend and girlfriend." "What would we do?" "I honestly don't know." We all know what the implication was...

But it's Girl's Night... as it is every night, so Ken has to leave. "It's Barbie's Dreamhouse, not Ken's Dreamhouse." Ouch.

So, that whole death question thing? It prompts some less than satisfying events, including Barbie waking up with morning breath, having a cold shower (in a house with no water, mind you), a burnt waffle, and - gasp! - flat feet.

Yep, she no longer stands on her toes! Not sure why that was such a huge issue because dozens of Barbies have been made with flat feet, even back in the 90s (including Hot Skatin' Barbie, who makes an appearance later).

So when Barbie explains this to the other Barbies, they tell her she has to go see Weird Barbie, aka the Barbie who was played with too roughly. Kudos for this design lol, Kate McKinnon is portrayed as a doll with a dress covered in Crayon stains, cut/burned-off hair, marker scribbles on her face, always doing the splits, etc. She also owns the dog Tanner, another discontinued Mattel product of a dog that would eat a treat and then poop it out (it was recalled due to magnets getting swallowed by kids). She explains to Barbie that something must be happening with the girl who is playing with her in the Real World, and so she must travel there to see what the problem is to make everything go back to normal - and to not get cellulite!!! Yep, Weird Barbie points out that there is now cellulite on Barbie's thighs, and she's like:

Yep, it's real. Run. So anyway, Barbie then gets in her undersized Corvette (yep, even the Barbie car in the movie is under-scaled compared to real life cars - the windshield is shorter than her head lol) and heads for the Real World with a stowaway Ken in tow. When they get to California (where Mattel's headquarters are), they're both wearing their Hot Skatin' outfits from the mid-90s. That was some great nostalgia.

Skating through LA looking like, well, a couple of dolls, people start staring at the two, and Barbie is getting cat-called. Ken is too, by some guys LOL. When they come up to a group of construction guys, they say sexist remarks and Barbie literally says, "It sounds like you're saying a double entendre, but I don't have a vagina, and he doesn't have a penis." Yeah, Barbie literally said the words vagina and penis.

Eventually the two decide to maybe ditch their skating outfits, so instead don some matching western attire. Yeah, they just happen to find a random shop with a pink western women's outfit and a matching one for guys.

Barbie is searching for the girl responsible for the weird things happening to her in Barbie Land, so Ken goes off on his own and discovers that, in the Real World, men hold all the power and are more than accessories, unlike in Barbie Land. He sees male cops on horses, male presidents on dollar bills, male doctors, etc. He grabs a bunch of books and reads up on this, and he's heading to meet back up with Barbie to tell her about this, except she's been found by Mattel execs (who are aware of two dolls that escaped Barbie Land - much like a baby-sitting Skipper many years ago) and escorted to HQ. So Ken returns to Barbie Land with his newfound information.

Barbie eventually escapes the Mattel suits (led by Will Ferrell, who is playing, in my opinion, his only decent role in a film ever) and is rescued by the girl she was looking for. Well, the girl's mother - it was her mother who prompted the events, not the girl. In any event, the three of them head back to Barbie Land and discover it to be completely taken over by the Kens. Yep, Ken turned Barbie Land into a patriarchy. That word is even used multiple times.

The Barbies are now cheerleaders cheering for the Kens, serving them drinks (yep, beer included), etc. The Dreamhouses have become Mojo Dojo Casa Houses, and none of the Barbies are in charge anymore. So no Barbie president, doctor, scientist, etc. Turns out Ken was having an existential crisis. He then tells Barbie that it's Boy's Night at his house, and it's Boy's Night every night.

So this causes Barbie to spiral into a feeling of failure and depression. Oh, and as all of this is happening in Barbie Land, it trickles into the real world. So Ken's masculine houses and cars start popping up in stores, as does a commercial for Depressed Barbie.

Weird Barbie brings Barbie and the humans to her place, where we're introduced to the other aforementioned outcast dolls. We even get a live-action demonstration of Growing Up Skipper (turn her arm and her breasts grow).

Then the mother gives an inspirational speech that pretty much snaps all the Barbies out of their brainwashed funk. Now, why did they allow all the Kens to take over to begin with? Well, as the mother explained, it was like a virus - the Barbies had no defense over such a thing because it wasn't fathomed to ever even happen. But anyway, one by one, the Barbies return to their former selves and remember who they were. The Kens have planned a vote to change the Barbie Land constitution, so the Barbies band together to basically set the Kens against each other in order to take back Barbie Land. Yep, a movie about a plastic doll turned into a governmental conflict.

The main Ken and the other "beach off" Ken are pretty much rivals in this movie, so each one leads a group of Kens into an all-out brawl. And by brawl I mean they're throwing plastic arrows at each other, bashing each other with tennis rackets, etc. We even see some on hobby horses charging into battle.

Somehow, that winds up in a musical number and then they realize it was voting day. Yeah, too late. They show back up to the cul-de-sac (there is a Monty Python reference here, as they're totally fake-riding horses and making clacking sounds) where the Dreamhouses have been restored to their former glory. Ken is like, "Do these houses look a little more... dreamy?" President Barbie comes down the stairs and says, "That's because they're Dreamhouses, motherf*****." Yep, just like that. They bleep out the second half of that word, but we all know what she meant.

So then Barbie and Ken need to resolve their issues. Ken loves Barbie, but she only sees him as a friend. And Ken says he isn't sure what his role is, only that he was created to be Barbie's boyfriend. "It's always Barbie and Ken, never just Ken." So Barbie tells him that he needs to discover who he is without her. Then the Mattel suits walk in and get ready to close off the portal between the two worlds, when Barbie says she doesn't know what her ending is. And then we're treated to a meeting with Ruth Handler, the creator of Barbie herself. (Not the real person, obviously, but still a great tribute.) Ruth designed Barbie to not have an ending. She's always changing and evolving. That's the point.

But Barbie says she doesn't feel like Barbie anymore. So Ruth takes her to a private area and talks to her, and Barbie basically asks if she can become a human. Why, I don't know. She's a perfect doll in a perfect world, and the human world is a mess. We all know it. That's why we have dolls!!! But yeah, so, Barbie, the number one fashion doll in the world, becomes a human. She takes the name of Ruth's daughter, Barbara (true story, as that's who Barbie was named after), and meets up with the mom and daughter again. The movie literally ends with Barbie (Barbara Handler) saying, "I'm here to see my gynecologist."

Yep, that's the end. Then we get to see pictures of actual dolls featured in the movie (not all of them, but most of them), including the controversial ones. That was a nice touch for anyone unfamiliar with the history.

So, will there be a sequel? Obviously they left it open for one. That's the norm for movies these days. My thoughts? I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting, but I had kept hearing that the movie has a lot of messages catered toward the government and society as a whole. For instance, when Barbie meets the girl she thought she was there for, the girl tells her that, despite what she believes and what she was created to be, Barbie is a doll that represents a backwards feminist movement and unrealistic body proportions. Basically everything Barbie haters say about her. Mattel knows this is said about their biggest product, and they put it in the movie LOL. Then the whole patriarchy thing, and the feeling of not knowing yourself. It's all there. It's not just a movie about a doll.

So, overall, I did enjoy the movie, but there were some things we could have gone without. The whole vagina/penis thing? How does Barbie even know what those words are, honestly LOL. Noticeably absent were her sisters - we did see Growing Up Skipper, but that's it. And she was one of the discontinued dolls. Allan is in the movie, and there's only one of him as opposed to multiple Kens. He even says that all Ken's clothes fit him, because that's literally what was on the doll box in real life. That was funny. As for the musical numbers, I found them unnecessary. They didn't add anything to the story - only runtime. But I absolutely love the set design and all the clothes, especially the real ones that were created before this movie existed. I think Margot Robbie was a great choice for Barbie. I remember when this was first leaked years ago, there were rumors about Amy Schumer playing Barbie. OMG that would have been a disaster. I can NOT see her playing Barbie. She's just... not Barbie. LOL. And though I wasn't on board with Ryan Gosling playing Ken at first, as he just seemed too old, it actually wasn't bad. And it wasn't going to deter me from seeing the movie.

Overall, I'll give the movie 8/10. Wasn't perfect but I did enjoy it. If there is a sequel, I'm sure I'll see it too!

P.S. No, the song Barbie Girl isn't in the movie. I don't think Mattel is a fan of it because it supposedly makes fun of the doll, or so I read. LOL

#xoxardnekoxo #spoiler alert #movie review #Barbie #Barbie the movie #Barbie 2023 #Barbie movie 2023 #Margot Robbie #Ryan Gosling #Barbie Roberts #Mattel #Ken #Ken Carson #Barbie Land #the real world #Greta Gerwig

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