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theoreticslut · 3 years

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Sleepover // f.w. + g.w. + o.w.

fred weasley x reader; george weasley x platonic!reader; oliver wood x platonic!reader

requested: no

word count: 4.5k

warnings: none, fluff

A/N: hey loves! I wanted to post something last night, but after I got done with classes I didn’t want to even look at my laptop (hence why I didn’t do any homework & am highkey stressing but that's beside the point). Either way, you’re getting this right now. (i may be procrastinating homework now but shh) I hope you all like this! I really like it, even though it’s probably not my best writing. It just makes me smile when reading it 💗

Song mentioned is No Idea by All Time Low

“Good practice today guys. I think we’re getting in shape for our next match. Hit the showers and don’t forget about practice tomorrow at 2.” Oliver states, ending practice.

You sigh, grabbing your duffel bag as you catch up with him and the twins.

“I know you want us in shape, Ollie, but geez.” You huff, breathing heavy as you finally fall into line beside him.

“It’s not his fault that you slacked off on training this summer, y/n.” Fred teases, slinging an arm around your shoulders, his body odour hitting you right in the face.

“All I did was train this summer! I had fun with it, but I trained none the less. And please, refrain from putting your pits near me until after you’ve showered.”

He chuckles, removing his arm upon your request, not without ruffling your hair beforehand though.

“You bloody git.” You huff, fixing your hair as he laughs, Oliver rolling his eyes at the both of you.

“You could always take up more training sessions with me if you feel like you’re not doing well.”

“That’s the last thing I want, Ollie. No offense, but most people enjoy having a break from training every now and then.”

He chuckles, shrugging his shoulders as the four of you make your way back to the castle.

The four of you have been friends since you first met at quidditch tryouts, all of you beyond excited to play for your house. While Fred, George, and Ollie all made the team to play, you had made the team as a reserve seeker as you were “supremely talented,” but the current seeker was already skilled and trusted. It was her last year anyway, so instead of playing your first year on the team, you spent the year learning and training under the current seeker to take over for her once she graduated.

You’re not really sure why, but the four of you just hit it off and had been friends ever since. You never really connected well with female classmates, even less when you started hanging out with the popular, desirable quidditch boys. You didn’t really care though, you and the guys got along well and had fun together joking around and hanging out on your free time.

Even though you didn’t really care to, you do wish you had at least one female friend. You’ve been dreaming of having a sleepover for years now, but you’ve yet to convince the boys into having one as they “didn’t want to be girly.” That doesn’t mean you haven’t stopped trying though. All you wanted was one sleepover and you’d be happy.

“So what are you guys doing this weekend?” You ask.

A chorus of “nothing” sounds from the three boys and you smile, putting on the cutest face you could make.

“Well if none of you have anything going on...could we please have a sleepover?” You plead, attempting to make puppy dog eyes.

All three of them groan, looking over to you in pleading.

“This again?” George sighs to which you pout.

“Come on, they’re not that bad. Seriously, I won’t make you do anything girly if you’ll give me just one, ONE face mask.”

“Y/n, we’ve talked about this.” Oliver states.

“I know, but I promise it’ll be fun. We can sit around and snack, watch some movies, play some board games or something. Sleepovers really aren’t as girly as you make them out to be.”

“No. We don’t do sleepovers, y/n. I’m sorry, but they just don’t sound fun to us.” Ollie explains.

You sigh, frowning as you surrender to defeat for now.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

All three of the guys frown, feeling bad that they’ve upset you, but they’re not going to force themselves to sit through something like that.

“Why don’t you ask the girls? I’m sure they’d love to have a sleepover with you.” Fred suggests, slinging his arm around you again.

“I’m not going to ask them, Freddie.”

“Why not? They seem like they’d be into that.”

“Because I’m not going to. If you haven’t noticed, I don’t really get along with other girls.”

“You’re being silly. Here-“

You pale as you see the girls just a little ways behind you and you know what Fred is going to do.

“No, Fred!”

“Hey! Angie, Katie, Alicia?”

“Fred, stop. Please.” You beg.

“What’s up?” Alicia asks, cocking her head a bit at Fred.

“Y/n here has been begging us for a sleepover for awhile because she doesn’t really have anyone else to have one with. Maybe you girls and her could have one?”

“A sleepover? Yeah! We’re actually planning one for tonight, would you like to join us?” Angelina smiles, excited to have you join.

In all honesty, the three girls have been dying to get to know you better. They’ve seen you joke around with the guys and know you’re funny, and you’re also immensely talented and intelligent. They’d love to be your friend, you’ve just never seemed interested.

“Really? You’d be okay with me joining you guys?”

“Yeah! We’d love to get to know you better. Why don’t you meet us after dinner?”

“Yeah, okay. Thank you!”

“Of course! I can’t wait for tonight! It’s going to be so much fun!”

You nod, smiling at your other three teammates as they head off towards the courtyard while you and the boys make your way back to the common room.

~.~

“Is it just me or does Oliver push us super hard at practice?” Alicia asks out of nowhere.

“Oh no, he definitely does! I swear to Merlin that I’m doing everything I can to just keep up.” Angelina huffs.

“He’s awful about it. And yet he says that I just need to train more.” You huff, rolling your eyes as you pop some popcorn into your mouth.

Its nice having others you can talk to that understand your thoughts.

“No way! Really?” Katie asks.

“Really. I don’t think he understands the meaning of going easy.”

“That’s ridiculous! I can’t believe he said that!” Katie gapes, eyes wide.

“That’s not even the worse thing he’s said before. I swear to Merlin that he doesn’t realize how bloody blunt he is at times.”

So far this sleepover has been going pretty well. You honestly didn’t expect it to go so well. You were sure that it would be really awkward and you’d have to excuse yourself halfway through the night.

“It can’t be easy being friends with three athletic boys.” Alicia states.

“I mean, it’s not all bad, but it’s not the most fun at times either.”

“Yeah? Like when?” Angie asks, all three of the girls focusing their attention on you.

“Well, they’re protective whether they realize it or not, but they can also be real insensitive at times and often make things worse before making them better. They’re nice to hang out with. There’s never really any sort of expectation with them so that’s cool.”

The girls nod, listening intently to you. They’ve never been jealous of you for being so close with the guys, but they have often wondered what it was like.

“I think the worst things about being so close with them, is that I get a lot of backlash from other girls and I never really get to be a girl myself. I guess they just kind of see me as one of the guys, you know?”

“Yeah. That can’t be any fun.” Angie agrees, frowning.

“I’m actually surprised you three don’t hate me. A lot of the girls here are really mean to me just because I’m close with them.”

“We could never hate your for being close to them. I mean, if you’re friends, you’re friends. There’s no crime in that.” Katie states.

“You think it was sometimes.” You sigh, popping some more food into your mouth.

“We’re sorry about that, y/n. You don’t ever have to worry about that with us.”

“And if we ever hear someone being mean to you about it we’ll definitely take care of it.” Alicia states, Angie and katie agreeing.

“Thanks. That’s, uhm, really nice to hear.”

“And from here forward we’re all friends and we’ll have sleepovers whenever we want! You deserve to have some girl friends and be able to be a girl yourself. Seriously, I know they’ve been your best friends for ages, but you don’t have to give yourself up just to stay friends with them.” Angelina adds.

You smile, feeling like you finally fit in for once with other girls. You’re really not sure what had happened to get here, but you were beyond excited.

~.~

It’s been about a month now since you and the girls had your first sleepover together and you’ve found that you get along with them surprising well. Not only do you get to talk about girl things like crushes and makeup or clothes, but you still get to talk about quidditch and classes and day to day things. And surprisingly, you feel like you’re heard and understood compared to when you were only hanging out with the guys.

You and the girls have had a sleepover every weekend since then, usually starting Friday night and not ending until Sunday afternoon. You’ve gotten to know each of them really well and them you.

You learned that Angie has a bit of a crush on George, Alicia has one on Oliver, and Katie has one on the Ravenclaw chaser, Roger Davies. They learned that you have a crush on Fred, and have been trying to help get him to notice you after you explained that you’re positive he’s never once seen you as anything other than a friend.

They’ve been helping you learn to do makeup because you only knew the very basics. They’ve given you some of their clothes that they don’t care for that accentuate your body and it’s curves. They’ve even helped you update your hair a bit, trimming it and adding some movement to it. Angie even went as far as adding some balayage to it, having learned how to from her aunt over the summer.

It’s safe to say that you’ve been spending a lot more of your time with the girls than you have with the guys and they’ve been noticing.

“It’s been awhile since y/n’s hung out with us, hasn’t it? I think I only really see her in classes lately.” George points out.

“Yeah, she’s been spending a lot of her time with the girls. Which is good I guess, but it is kind of weird not having her around as much.” Oliver answers, frowning a bit as he pushes his food around on his plate.

The three of them sit in silence for a bit before Fred pipes up with an observation of his own.

“It’s not just me that’s noticed that’s she’s changed a bit, yeah? Like, she’s been dressing a bit differently, and she’s done something with her hair.”

“Yeah, and have you noticed that she’s been wearing makeup? Did she wear any before?” Oliver asks, ignoring the food on his plate now.

“She did, but she’s definitely wearing more of it now. It looks good though, yeah?” George asks, looking between his twin and his team captain.

“Yeah.” Both Fred and Oliver sigh.

“Is it me, or does she almost seem...happier now too?” Fred asks, bringing the big question to existence.

They’ve all noticed you seem to smile bigger and brighter, even though you’ve always smiled a lot. Not only that, but you seem a bit more outgoing too and just more confident in yourself.

Have they really held you back that much as your best friends? Would it have been any different if they did more with you? You always did things that they enjoyed. Sure you enjoyed them too, but the one thing you wanted most they kept denying you. If they had given in and had a sleepover with you, would you have been as happy with them as you are with the girls?

“Hey, guys! How are you doing today?” You ask, sitting down beside Oliver as you start filling a plate for yourself.

“Y/n!” They all greet you happily and you smile, not sure where all the enthusiasm came from but you’re not going to complain about it.

“Uh, we’ve been good. A bit lonely without you, if we’re honest.” George answers, watching as you start eating.

They’d never admit it outright, but they’ve missed you more than should be physically possible. They never realized how fun you were to have around until you weren’t around anymore.

“Yeah? I’m sorry, I haven’t really hung out with you guys lately have I? I’ve just been so busy with the girls I guess I hadn’t realized how long it’s been.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s been a while. It’s okay though. Maybe we could watch a movie together tonight?” Oliver suggests.

“I’d love to, but I already have plans with the girls. I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s okay. We get it. Maybe another night?”

“Yeah, definitely! I miss hanging out with you guys.” You say, smiling before turning your attention to your plate, missing the way each of them perked up at your words.

~.~

“Y/n!” Oliver calls as you make your way out into the hall after class.

You stop, turning to see him pushing his way out the door trying to get to you, Fred and George right behind him.

“Hey, what’s up guys?”

“Not much. We were just wondering if tonight you’d like to watch a movie with us? We’ll head down to the kitchens and grab all your favourite snacks and drinks, we can even watch one of those romcoms that you like. If that’s what you’d like to do, that is.”

“Oh,” you frown.

“Guys that sounds amazing, but the girls and I are having a sleepover again tonight. Maybe we could do that tomorrow night?”

All three of them deflate at your words. It’s been about a month and a half now that you’ve barely hung out with them and they’re all starting to get a bit upset by that fact. They miss their best friend and how they never had to share you.

“Another sleepover? But you do them every weekend. You’ve even done some throughout the week!” Fred pouts, not believing that you’d turn down an offer like that.

“I’m really sorry guys. Definitely tomorrow night if that’s alright?”

“Yeah. Th-that’s fine.” Oliver agreed, bummed that you’re turning them down but not wanting to make it seem like you can’t hang out with the girls.

“I’m sorry.” You frown, awkwardly walking away from them as they all nod.

“What are we supposed to do? It’s like she doesn’t want to hang out with us anymore.” Fred sighs.

“Even at practice, on breaks or during drills, she’s hanging around them more than she is us.”

“It’s frustrating, I know, but at least she’s got someone to do the things she was always asking us to do. I mean we should be happy, she gets to have her sleepovers and we don’t have to, right?” Oliver states.

“I guess. But do you think it’d be any different if we had just given in and had one with her? I mean they can’t be that bad can they? The girls are always laughing when they’re having one.” George points out.

“That they are. I wonder if they’d let us in on one...”

“We could ask them tonight? They usually start after dinner, yeah? So let’s ask them at dinner if we can join!”

~.~

“Oh Merlin” Fred, George, and Oliver all mumble as they step foot into the girls’ room.

It took some convincing, but the girls eventually let them join their sleepover tonight, but they didn’t realize how unprepared they were for it until they stepped in.

“Hey guys! We’re glad to have you here!” Alicia greets, giggling alongside you.

“I can’t believe you guys actually wanted to join. How many years did I ask you three for one and you turned me down each time?”

“Well they didn’t seem interesting then, but you’ve thoroughly piqued our interest now.” Oliver mumbles, blushing a bit.

While it’s true they were curious about it, they were truly more jealous that your attention was here and not with them.

“I think they were just jealous that you’re spending time with us and not them.” Katie whispers in your ear, making the both of you chuckle as you roll your eyes and katie nods at you.

“So, uh, what normally goes on at these things?”

“A little bit of everything. I’m sure all of its a bit too girly for your liking though.” Angie teases, all three of the boys flushing in embarrassment.

“Well we’ll give it a try. One time won’t hurt, right?” Fred asks, not too sure of his words anymore.

“You’ll have to find out.” Alicia smirks, breaking out into a fit of laughter with the rest of you girls at the guys terrified faces.

“C-can you at least give us an idea of what to expect for tonight?” Ollie asks.

“Like Ang said, a little bit of everything. Obviously we can’t do all the same things as we normally do, but we’ll get pretty close.”

“What things can’t you do?” George asks, looking over all the girls but stopping on you, hoping that you’ll give an honest answer.

“Oh you know, sharing gossip, talking about boys, sharing personal details.” You say, counting them out on your fingers as you talk.

“Talk about boys?” Oliver asks, eyes popping out of his head as Fred cuts him off.

“Personal details? What kind of details could you share that we wouldn’t already know about?!”

All four of you girls stop, looking at each other, before breaking out into a bout of laughter.

“Oh, Fred. You boys barely scratch the surface of knowing y/n. Trust us.” Katie states, chuckling to herself as she looks back at you.

“That’s not true!”

“What’s her most embarrassing memory to date?” Angelina asks, cocking a brow as Fred stutters.

“Uh, oh! I-it’s, well...”

“It’s alright, Freddie. It’s not important so it’s not like you need to know.” You try to console him but it only seems to make him feel worse.

He’s supposed to be one of your best friends. He should know things like this, but as he thinks about it, he’s not even sure of your favourite colour.

“Alright, so that’s what you aren’t doing tonight. What other things do you do?” Oliver asks, changing the topic of conversation.

“Well we do face masks, we do each other’s makeup and hair, we try on different outfits....but we don’t have to do any of that while you’re here.” Angie informs.

“Yeah, we can just eat snacks and play some games. Do some karaoke. Maybe watch a movie? We kind of just do whatever we feel like.” Alicia explains.

The guys nod, worried about what the night will be like, but knowing that they’re not going to leave early. They’re going to get the full experience and they’re going to at least pretend to enjoy it.

~.~

“Wait she said that to you?! Bloody imp.” You huff, as Alicia tells you about a run in she had with one of the ravenclaw girls.

“Right?! I just can’t believe she had the nerve. Someone definitely had her panties in a twist that day.” She huffs, working on applying some eyeshadow to your lids.

The guys watch in amusement as you and Alicia talk. They’ve never once seen you so happy.

You have inside jokes that make you laugh over the littlest of things. You have the confidence to talk out loud and freely share your thoughts. Sure you talked with the guys, but not nearly as much or as animatedly as you do with the girls.

You seem to thoroughly enjoy the activities you were doing, and not just sitting there because that’s what you all were doing.

In all honestly it sent the guys into a spiral of mixed emotions. They were happy to see you so happy, but they wanted you back for themselves. They felt guilty for wanting you to themselves when you weren’t nearly as happy as you are now. They feel guilty for not caring about you in the same way as the girls seem to.

“I think I impressed Snape today with my potion.” You share.

“That makes one of us. I completely botched it. Maybe you could help me with it next time?!” Angie asks, shifting her attention to you from where she’s laying with her face mask on.

“Yeah, definitely. I’d love to see Snape’s face the day we brew a potion perfectly. He’s such a grumpy old git, always finding something wrong. It’d be nice to get a compliment from him or at least render him speechless.”

“Definitely. I’m sure he’d find a way to criticize the potion even if it was perfect, though.” Katie adds in, sending all of you girls into a fit of laughter.

“Is this what you normally do?” George asks, looking around at all of you girls.

“What?” Angie asks, looking over at him.

“Just talk about anything and everything?”

All four of you look at each other before nodding and shrugging.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“It’s cool.”

Fred and Oliver nod in agreement. It’s kind of nice just listening to you all talk and gossip.

“Stop moving!” Alicia chuckles at you, drawing everyone’s attention, as you sing along to the music playing in the background.

“Now there’s a piece of me, tells me I shouldn’t leave, every time I see your face.”

You giggle as Alicia shakes her head at you.

“Because every time you come around, love you take my breath away!”

Alicia rolls her eyes at you and all that the guys can do is smile. They’ve never once seen you so open and carefree. You’ve only sung a handful of times, but every time you’ve noticed someone is around you immediately shut up.

It’s kind of nice seeing you participating in something you enjoy so much. You truly do look so happy.

“Sing with me, Alicia. Please?” You pout, doing your puppy dog eyes at her.

Oh how Fred misses that look. You only did that when you were trying to get them to do something, usually to get them to have a sleepover with you or go to honeydukes in hogsmeade.

“I never want you to leave until I take you in, but the truth is...” he watches at you look at Alicia, waiting for her to join in.

“She has no idea - no idea!”

“That I’m even here- that I’m even here!”

You cheer, laughing as she sings along with you, completely getting into the song.

“She has no idea!” You belt out, letting Alicia do the echo.

Fred watches as the two of you sing animatedly to the rest of the song, even started to throw theatrics in to emphasize the lyrics.

Oh how he wishes he had seen this side to you sooner. He’s not really sure what’s going on, but watching you be so happy makes him feel all warm and bubbly inside. Although he does wish to see you that happy with him, he is just happy to see you happy in general.

“Wow” Oliver states, staring at the two of you, not realizing he spoke until all of you look at him.

“Wow what?” Katie asks, confused.

“Huh?”

“What are you ‘wow’ing at, Ollie?” You ask.

“Oh, uhm. Well, you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, y-you’re so happy now. It’s just nice to see. I mean, You’d never sing around us voluntarily and you’re laughing so much more.”

You smile, nodding at him. You’re not really sure what to say to that.

“Yeah? Thanks.” You smile. “I, uh, have been a lot happier lately.”

“It shows. It’s really nice to see, but we’re sorry that we weren’t making you happy.” George frowns, watching you as your eyes water.

You can hear the girls awe at them but you’re suddenly slapped on the shoulder by Alicia.

“Hey, hey, hey! I know this is sweet, but no tears. I did not just spend half an hour on your makeup to have you cry it off.”

“I can’t help it.” You chuckle, your tears ready to spill over.

“Wow, so emotional y/l/n.” Fred teases, smirking as Alicia, katie and Angie all throw something at him while you just chuckle and carefully wipe at your tears so you don’t ruin your makeup.

“You’re such a git, Freddie.” You roll your eyes, chuckling as he smiles at you.

“But I’m clever. I didn’t want you ruining your makeup. It looks too good.”

You laugh, trying to hide a blush as the girls all ‘ooh’ at you, knowing how you feel about him.

“Thank you, Freddie.”

He nods, smiling as he watches Alicia keep working, ignoring the teasing punches and hair ruffling from his twin and Oliver.

~.~

“Hey guys.” You greet, sitting down next to Fred as all 6 of your friends looks up at you.

“Hey, y/n. How did your Charms test go?” Angie asks, taking a bite of her food.

“I think I nailed it.” You smile, proudly, as you start filling your plate for lunch.

“That’s my girl! I knew you would.” Fred smiles, pulling you into a tight hug as you giggle.

It’s been a few months since your sleepover with the girls and the guys. Since then, your two friend groups have meshed together really well.

All of you would sit together at meals and would joke around. You would still have your sleepovers with the girls, but at least once a month all seven of you would have a sleepover together again, although they’re a little bit different now that you’re all coupling up.

It didn’t take long for George and Angie to get together, and after that happened it didn’t take too long for you and Fred to get together. It kind of helps that once Angie and George were dating, Angie told of your little crush on his brother. Luckily for you, George knew that his brother liked you too so it only took a few pushes and some convincing on Fred’s part to finally ask you out.

Alicia and Oliver have definitely gotten closer, but they’re not quite dating yet, and katie is still chasing after her ravenclaw chaser. It’s helping a bit now that the guys are on her side and can talk to Davies for her.

It’s safe to say though, that all of you are happy. You have the girls to share yourself with, but you still get to see the guys and hang out with them. The guys are happy that they have your attention again and that you’re happy with them, and the girls are happy that they’ve gained you as a friend.

For starting out with just the guys, you have to say you’re pretty happy with where you’ve all ended up together. All it took was a sleepover.

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oliver wood - @anxiousblanketqueen @moatsnow @stoopidwithtwohoes @livvysnaps

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imagines-hoarder · 4 years

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The Older Man (Pt 2) *smut*- Thomas Shelby

Request// Hey! Will you post a part 2 of “The Older Man”? I would be the happiest person alive =)

*After two years of sitting on the sidelines and focusing on school, I decided to use writing as a way to procrastinate from classes instead of the other way around. Family Divided and My Husband’s Brother fans are gonna kill me cause they have DEFINITELY been waiting longer; maybe more to come? I do also wanna give a little warning; I have not written a full work for this blog in two years and the first part of this story was the peak of my passion. I wanted to give y’all the smut you loved but wasn’t in the mood for angst so let me know if you have any storylines you have in mind for these two and we’ll see how long I’m around for? Please be gentle with my heart! xoxox*

Masterlist

(Part 1)

For those who know him, Tommy is predictable.

When you took a moment to finally watch the man who you had craved for years, you had noticed that he had a routine of his own that ran deeper than his calendar could account for. He was always awake before the sun, and you could only rely on him to find stillness for four hours a night; six if he could find peace. He’d spend the mornings at Charlie’s yard with the horses as day broke and would spend the coming hours in one of his factories across Small Heath. You had spent many years visiting him strictly on Wednesdays for your pay, but he now knew that a sultry touch could convince you just enough to have lunch with him before you left. He’d leave far after the last machine had ground to a halt and his final employee had clocked out. If he was lucky, you would stop by on your way home on the days of your choosing, but time had soon taught him to expect you at random. It had become his welcomed reprieve from drinking alone.

After eight months of finding yourself endlessly tangled into this circumstance with Thomas, you had settled into strange domesticity that was only possible with a man as destructive and dangerous as Tommy.

The smell of his cigarettes reached your nose the moment you unlocked your apartment. He was visible to you only in the dark by the embers glowing between his fingertips.

“While I enjoy your covert visits as much as the next woman, I thought you would know better than sneaking up one armed with iron by now,” you proclaimed as you brought the room into further clarity by turning on the lamps. A cheeky grin was already stuck to your face by the time you could see him sitting in the wingback chair left by the last tenant. “Frankly, I’m surprised you found your way here before midnight.”

Once you had left Tommy’s office following your first fling, it didn’t take much time and even less convincing for you to find your own flat. It was close to your parents but far enough to keep them from ever knowing how the Tommy they doted on for years was defiling their only child in the dead of night. He didn’t live there, but it’s where he could be found most nights for the few hours he did sleep.

“Is it a crime to want to see you? Haven’t stopped thinking about you since you came to the office two days ago.” He looked so settled in a chair that was so beneath him, common man’s furniture that had faced many years of wear on the leather and scars on the legs.

“Well, sorry to keep you waiting, Mr.Shelby. I had a commitment to attend to this evening.” You moved to grab the empty glass resting loosely in his hands. He took a moment to notice you, no doubt arriving home from a local club.

“A business commitment, I presume,” he called to you as you walked to the bar, pouring a glass of whiskey for yourself before refilling his own. “Can’t think of a man special enough to see you in such a state.”

You look down at your dress, an attractive piece of fabric that fashionably displayed your assets between layers of chiffon and beading. Your unruly hair had been pinned to display your mischievous eyes and the rouge in your cheeks. “Other than the present company, only the one I shot in the chest an hour ago. He was working for the Italians.”

He gave you a mere nod before you journey back to him. “At least he got a pretty view at the end of his life, didn’t he?”

His warm fingers brushed yours as you returned his glass, putting out his cigarette in the nearby dish before finding a reason to settle. His free hand pulled you to rest with him in the rundown chair, feeling the warmth of his lap underneath you and enjoying the feeling on his palm splayed on your lower back.

“I’m sure there are other things he would have preferred to see at death’s door,” you spoke gently, only loud enough for him to hear as you washed down the night with a gulp from your own glass. “Though I can’t tell if you're jealous or excited at the prospects.” He grunted before emptying his glass again.

“I have nothing to worry about. Couldn’t give a fuck about other men; just my best girl.”

“I’d say you’ve gone soft on me, Thomas, but I can feel how hard you are.” You assumed the waiting and outfit had quickly got the best of him as you felt him against you, his rigid facade contradicting the yearning you knew he felt. You slowly rotated on his lap to face him, your legs positioned to relax on either side of him. You slowly pulled the pins from your hair as he watched, letting it fall into its natural state before pushing the wayward strands behind your ear. “You’re the only one who calls me a girl anymore. I’ve been a woman for a while now, Tommy,” your hands trailed down to his trousers, slowly unveiling what you so eagerly pined for. Warm. He was warm all over and his gaze felt light fire on your face, the glasses finding themselves near the smoldering cigarette as your hand grazed deeper into his pants. “and for many, I am what death looks like.”

His lips crushed yours in a manner all but patient, his hands tangled between your hair and the back of your dress, aching to release you from all barriers between you. His lips sunk to your jaw and neck as he revealed your bare torso, leaving behind a trail of lustful caresses. You took the earliest opportunity to find balance on the ground and slipped out of the dress that pooled at your waist, tugging away your undergarments with it. By the time you had finished, Tommy’s chest was bare and you had the pleasure of freeing his member before you reclaimed your throne on top of him, calves rubbing against the firm leather of the chair.

Your weight sunk onto your knees and you felt him fill you. It was as if it were your first time again; so raw and natural as if he didn’t already own a part of you that you only now realized existed. The room brimmed with your sharp moans and Tommy’s heavy pants as you bounced on top of him. You tried to feel every bit of this moment without getting lightheaded; you didn’t know if he was pulling you closer or you were pushing yourself towards him as the coil snapped in your stomach. Your hands found their way to the nape of his neck before you let out a shaky whine in his shoulder.

“No, not yet, love,” he cooed as your soft body began to relax in his grip. It would be a sweet yet peculiar notion, to think the night was over so quickly over. You felt your legs slide from the chair as Tommy pulled you to the ground and you naturally found your position. Your hips were lifted as he reached for them and your shoulders fell to the ground. With your cheek to the floor, you could see him in your periphery, the man with a calloused touch that had reached the most inner parts of your desires. “I’m not done with you yet.”

He pushed himself inside of you, and the cry that left your throat was lewder than you could have expected. As you held onto the legs on the worn chair, Tommy only thrusted deeper between your legs. By the time he was pressed fully against you, he was bucking at a pace of his own. “For fuck’s sake, Tommy!”

He bent against you, and his chest was against your curved back, now roping his arm around your waist so every inch of you was connected to him. “They may see you as a woman out there. But in my office, in your bed...on this bloody fucking chair, you’ll always be my girl,” he gritted out. His breath was hot against your ear as he came deep inside of you, bathing in the thrill of filling you up.

All the noise faded while sweat and slick dried between your bodies. His head rested between your shoulder blades as you laid between his arms on the floor. You weren’t sure how long you laid there, moments or millennia, before you unwound your limbs from his, grabbing your pile of clothes in the process.

“I nearly died in your arms tonight,” he said with a trace of humor on his lips. You tossed him his clothes before you pulled on your bloomers.

“It’s not your time yet, old man.” The glare you received had become a familiar friend in the past year. You knew that behind his scold, he was watching you as if you were art in the making; beauty in the moonlight that he didn’t deserve.

Tommy is predictable. He always had a card up his sleeve, something holding unexpected pleasures or unforeseen schematics. The longer you knew him, the more you were sure that he would always be one step ahead of those who thought they had him pinned. Maybe that's why you kept coming back to him. He was reckless and sometimes detached in order to stay ahead, but he was always calculated and cared for you in a way only a man like him could. He fulfilled a hunger no drug, no fortune, and no other man could ever satiate in you.

He took your hand in his, his rough palms soothing to your senses. “Then we must make all the little moments count until then.” He left hot kisses up your wrist and forearm. “Marry me, Y/N.” You scoffed with a laugh bubbling in your throat, pulling away from him as you walked to your room. You needed a bath more than a joke at the moment. “I’m serious, love. Marry me and I’ll give you a house with endless corridors and new furniture.”

“Maybe I don’t want to marry you, Thomas,” you teased from the other room.

“And maybe I only want to fuck a young woman I’m married to.”

“Then you’ve become quite the prude in the last five minutes!”

You could retort day and night, but you knew a ring would be on your finger by next week, whether you had blatantly said yes or not. You would never admit it, but you knew that Tommy saw you as predictable too.

Cuties who have asked me to tag them at some point: @buckybarnesisalittleshit @moonlxghtbay @roliepoliegirl @iamafancygirl @eggingamazinglove @characterobsessed (if you want to be untagged, please message me!)

#thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby oneshot #tommy shelby smut #thomas shelby oneshot #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders smut #peaky blinders oneshot

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shokobuns · 3 years

Text

tutor

yuji needs some help and he gets more than what he asked for.

pairing: itadori yuji x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.8k

warnings: slightly suggestive, making out, boner

“you really don’t mind?”

he looked at you with wide eyes, his slight smile accompanied by his happy tone. yuuji was kind, you can tell by the way he talks to your other classmates, complimented by the comforting aura that he always brought along with him. despite your limited interactions, you didn’t see a reason to deny him the help that he needed.

“i don’t. plus, professor miyagi is one of my favorite teachers. i don’t see a reason not to.” you flashed a friendly smile to reassure him that it was fine.

“cool, cool,” he responded, a grin plastered on his face, “after school at the library then.”

the rest of your classes zoomed by as you daydreamed about yuuji (again). only this time, you were thinking about how you would feel if your hand brushed over his, how you would function while he was listening to you intently. it all made your stomach turn uncomfortably, but you knew you would have to eventually stuff it away.

“are you sure about that?” you asked with a guiding tone.

of course, you do your best to nudge him in the right direction, but sometimes it all just ends with his head in his hands and a small, albeit slightly concerning, joke about he’s about to fail the class. you can see his pained effort, the gears that struggle to turn in his head, and it chips away at your heart. you’re doing your best, why wouldn’t you, but the concepts aren’t sticking in his head.

“how about you try this?” you suggest, writing a small equation on his paper before handing it back to him. he grabs it in his hands, lifting it from the table, and stares hard. his eyebrows furrow and his eyes squint at the writing until his face relaxes and his head tilts. the dots connect and a wide smile replaces the confusion.

“wait, i think i got it!” he grabs his pencil, excitedly scribbling onto the paper before sliding it back to you and anticipating your judgement.

the writing, though messy, is correct and a feeling of satisfaction washes over you while he holds his hand out for a high five. when you look back at his elated expression, your cheeks get unexplainably hot.

it feels weird.

every greeting in the school hallways feel odd. every sly glance in his direction makes you feel guilty. every moment of a study session, particularly the ones when you can feel his breath on your face and the warmth radiating from his body, makes you feel awfully uneasy.

itadori yuji made you feel certain feelings, ones that especially plagued your stomach, your heart, and even your own mind.

and it was all new. you couldn’t think of a time when someone’s smile made your heart race or a person who made your ears perk up at the sound of their voice. though, you accredited it all to yuuji’s friendly presence. it was natural, he was always the type of person who can weave his way into people’s hearts with no effort. it was easy for him to speak to a stranger as if they were a friend, lend a helping hand whenever he could.

you just couldn’t reason how or when he wove so deep into yours.

the feeling was terrifying and it felt like you had something to hide, some dirty little secret, but you couldn’t pinpoint the exact feelings.

when the end of the school day finally comes, yuji is already waiting at your locker for your routine tutoring session. you two walk silently side by side and he seems completely calm, unphased by the lack of small talk, but you actively avoid eye contact in order to prevent those odd feelings from starting up again.

the library is closed.

“we can just go back to my house or something,” he proposes, his hand scratching the back of his neck, “it’s not that far of a walk. plus, i can cook for you. pay you back for your services, you know?”

you purse your lips, mulling over the offer. normally, you wouldn’t have to think about it. free food? the comfort of studying at home instead of the cold atmosphere of the library?

but from what you know about him, there’s likely not going to be anyone else there. it would just be the two of you. alone. together.

you shudder at the thought.

“i don’t want to be a bother-“

“don’t worry about it!” he grabs your hands in his, your eyes widening at the sudden contact. he’s friendly and the increased amount of time spent with him only made him even more comfortable around you. there’s more lingering touches, more of him being seated closer and closer. you’re not sure if he notices, but it doesn’t help ease your mind.

guilt.

it’s all you feel when you go home that night replaying moments with him again. the presence behind you while you tried to reach for a cup on a shelf, the brief second of when you felt his breath on your neck.

you feel guilty because yuji is tooth achingly sweet. he’s kind and his aura reminds you of a sunbeam. his attitude is almost childlike and almost always optimistic, always able to keep his cool when confronted with a minor inconvenience.

“fuck!” you curse as you scrub your skin, hot water and bubbles cascading down your body. even an hour later, he still plagues your mind.

an hour later and you can still feel his breath on your neck, the lingering touches on barely exposed skin, the slight dampness that had formed in your panties. it all started with flushed cheeks and fast heartbeats, but somehow this territory feels so wrong.

need help. come at 2. door’s unlocked.

“yuji?”

your concerned voice echoed throughout his cramped apartment. when there was no response, you entered, closing the door behind you and walking towards his bedroom. you hesitantly knocked, just in case he was sleeping. “come in!”

when you finally open the door, you’re met with the sight of yuji lying on his floor in a big t shirt, pajama pants, and countless homework assignments spread out on his table. “help?” you hummed with an amused expression planted on your face. “you were doing so well last time i was over, what happened?”

“just kind of lost motivation,” he sits up, his back leaning against the table, “professor miyagi assigned a shit ton of review of assignments and they’re all due this week. i may have procrastinated a little bit.” you laughed before squatting down until you were eye level with the boy. “you always have me to help you. professor miyagi tends to do that. it’s annoying, but i love the man.”

“nerd.” he muttered on his breath before you turned to him with a pout on your face, “guess i won’t help then.”

“take that back!” you immediately grabbed a pillow, aiming for his head. “i was joking!” he catches the pillow with ease, “i need some sort of motivation…” he trails off, his cheeks turning a bright red, something that you don’t fail to miss while he turns away in an attempt to hide them.

“oh, yeah?” you scoot closer until your arms rest on his knees, letting your head rest on top of them. you’re not exactly sure about where the uncharacteristically bold behavior came from, but it doesn’t change the fact that your heart is beating fast and your palms are definitely sweating. hopefully, he doesn’t notice. “what did you have in mind?”

“uh, i don’t know,” it seems as his voice gets quieter and quieter every time. it doesn’t seem like he’s completely at his usual confident levels, “i had something in my mind, but it was stupid.”

the small surge of courage races throughout your body when your face inches closer to his until your lips meet his. they’re soft and sweet, just like the man himself, and your heart melts when he cups your face into his bigger hands. pulling away, he’s wide eyed and giddy up to the point you entice him with an offer. “for each homework assignment done, we get to do that again, alright?’

though your foreheads are touching, you can make out the smirk on his face right before he gathers all of his things in order. the organization is sloppy, but if he understands it that’s all that really matters. while he scribbles down a series of numbers and equations, you lay on his bed, waiting for him to hand you something to check.

after ten minutes pass, he does and there’s a mistake, though you ignore it, opting to look at the problem for three seconds and tossing away the notebook instead. he doesn’t have time to process your legs straddling his lap, your soft lips melding into his.

his reaction is natural, hands coming down to your ass, giving a small squeeze as you grab his face with one hand, squishing his cheeks. his tongue swipes across your bottom lip and you let it enter your mouth, sucking on the pink muscle while he lets out a sweet moan. the sound fills you with a feeling of success, your crotch subtly grinding down on his lap.

you can feel something hardening under you, it’s unmistakable and it fills you with a sick sense of pride. yuji operates by instinct with every movement, the kisses are hungry and laced with need. another squeeze of your ass causes you to squeak while your hands keep him close.

you can’t think. you can’t feel.

your mind is completely empty because he’s overridden your senses from the feeling of his sloppy lips, the pretty noises he makes, the hard on that pokes through his jeans. eventually, he pulls away for air, heavy breaths that tickle your neck, his arms wrapping around your body.

you didn’t see a reason to deny him the help that he needed. and that included motivation.

“by the way, you got that problem wrong.”

“did we just make out for ten minutes for no reason?” he pouts as you laugh at his cute expression, “we made out cause i felt like it.”

“this doesn’t help with my homework motivation at all!” he crosses his arms, turning his back towards you. you wrap your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder. you can hear the relieved sigh that leaves him and it encourages you to leave feather light kisses on the side of his neck, his body immediately relaxing.

“how ‘bout i give you a lil gift for finishing your assignments at the end of the week, hmm?” you suggest, your fingers interlacing with his. your hands trails down to palm his clothed length, your wet tongue dragging along the sweet spot of his neck up to his earlobe.

“a b- b- blow-” he manages to stutter out. you’re sure his brain is malfunctioned, but it only makes you feel triumphant when he pulls away and eagerly begins to write.

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dramaruni · 3 years

Text

@bpdaf so this answer opened a can of worms (that I can call procrastination) and I wanted to address it, but with the limited characters in the reply function, I decided to answer it with a new post. Also sorry if this come as an attack, I promise it's not. I just became really curious if I had the wrong idea about the live-shooting system as I was ready to refute your points, but realized I didn't have enough knowledge to do so.

*also tagging @jahe, @yasmini24, @le-amarant as they also replied to my post and I figured maybe you were also interested in this (although it's really long and rambly, so I don't blame you for ignoring the post entirely). So yeah warning, this post is really long.

So I'm well aware of kdrama's live shoot system. But I did wonder if it was normal to start shooting 6 months before the first airing episode, as I was under the impression 6 months of shooting exceeded the standard duration of filming. But I couldn't actually refute it without some data to back that up. So I went to find data.

According to Wikipedia's page on Korean Dramas, they write: “As producing a series involves high expenses, production companies seek to shoot the episodes in the shortest time possible. In contrast to practices elsewhere, the first four episodes of Korean series are usually shot in advance, but the rest are shot continuously as the series is being aired.”

This fits in line with what I believed about Korean dramas live shooting system. They film a couple of episode ahead of time and then rest comes while it's still airing to fit with the audience response to it. Even preproduced dramas are sometimes reshot and re-edited while it's airing. But it didn't really say anything about the average filming duration for a drama or what shortest time possible was defined as. Probably because all dramas will aim for different things and given the content it can vary a lot how long it takes to film.

But I highly doubt it took Vincenzo 6 months to shoot something around 4 episodes and then crammed the rest into the 2 remaining months, as they knew from the start they had 20 episodes to fill.

So let's go through some other drama's shooting schedule to compare with Vincenzo.

I chose to limit the list to 2020 dramas (as they were likely affected by the pandemic) and tvN dramas, so it's the same broadcasting company as these dramas will likely share the same practices. Obviously with the amount I have included, I can't make any definite conclusions, but it does show a pattern.

*disclaimer I tried my best to accurately determine the shooting duration from when filming started to when it ended, but not all of these dramas had that information readily available, so I made do with the information I had at hand. This means some of these are just estimations.

So without further ado, here's the list:

Vincenzo:

May 2020, Director Kim Hee Won and writer Park Jae Bum teamed up.

July 2020, Song Joong Ki and Jeon Yeo Bin were considering the drama, while Ok Taecyeon had confirmed

September 2020, filming started

February 20th, 2021 first episode aired

No episodes April 17thand18th

April 17th, last episode script delivered

April 23rd, filming wrapped

May 2nd, 2021 last episode aired

Shooting time: 8 months

Shooting duration before first aired episode: 6 months

Filming wrapped before last airing episode: 8 days

1. Crash Landing on You

*not affected by the COVID-19 Pandemic * includes overseas filming

July 31st, 2019 – first script reading

End of august 2019, filming overseas begin

December 14th, first episode airs

January 12th, filming wrapped

February 16th, 2020 last episode airs

Shooting time: 5 months

Shooting duration before first aired episode: 4 months

Filming wrapped before last airing episode: 1 month + 4 days

2. It’s okay not to be okay

I couldn’t find the exact time shooting started, so these numbers are based between March and May, as I assume they didn’t shoot without Oh Jung Se being casted and while the table read photos were released in May, it could very well be they had started shooting before this.

February 2020 Kim Soo Hyun and Seo Ye Ji casted

March 2020 Oh Jung Se casted

May 8th 2020, first script reading photos released

June 20th 2020, first episode aired

July 31st 2020, filming wrapped

August 9th 2020, last episode aired

Shooting time: 3-5 months

Shooting duration before first aired episode: 1-3 months

Filming wrapped before last airing episode: 9 days

3. Start-up

August 4th, all the leads are confirmed for casting

September 2020, promotional starts to come out

October 17th 2020, First episode aired

November 21st 2020, Bae Suzy wraps up filming (assuming filming wraps up around the same time as her as she is the lead)

December 6th, last episode aired

Shooting time: 2-4 months

Shooting duration before first aired episode: 1-2 months

Filming wrapped before last airing episode: around 15 days

4. Hospital playlist season 1

*only aired 1 episode pr. week

October 2019, principal photography took place

March 12th, first episode aired

Late April 2020, filming wrapped

May 28th 2020, last episode aired

Shooting time: 7 months (couldn’t find when they actually started shooting, so let’s just pretend they also filmed around October)

Shooting duration before first aired episode: 6 months

Filming wrapped before last airing episode: 1 month

5. A piece of your mind

February 7th 2020, article of the first script reading

February 13th, first photos from drama unveiled

March 23rd, first episode aired

April 8th 2020, tvN announces that 4 episodes are cut due to low ratings

April 28th, last episode aired

Shooting time: 2-4 months

Shooting duration before first aired episode: 1-2 months

Filming wrapped before last airing episode: N/A (couldn’t find the exact time but they also axed four episodes and I don't know how much that affected filming)

6. Psychopath diary

*not affected by the COVID-19 pandemic

August 2019, first script reading

November 20th, first episode aired

January 9th 2020, last episode aired

Shooting time: n/a

Shooting duration before first aired episode: 3-4 months (assuming they started shooting shortly after the first table read)

Filming wrapped before last airing episode: n/a

7. Stranger /Secret Forest season 2

* preproduced based on the information I found

January 2020, first script reading

June 20th, 2020 lead actors wrapped filming (But I only found this article that says this)

August 15th 2020, first episode aired

October 4th 2020, last episode aired

Shooting time: 6 months

Shooting duration before first episode aired: 6 months

Filming wrapped before last airing episode: 4-5 months

What does this mean?

So the drama that comes closest to Vincenzo's filming duration is Hospital Playlist, but they also did things a bit differently. According to their Wikipedia, they only aired 1 episode a week to comply with 52-hour week system and to avoid overnight filming for the cast's and crews' health. So that would extend their shooting time. They also had the same amount of shooting time as Vincenzo before the first episode aired, i.e. 6 months, but Hospital playlist was only 12 episode drama so they also had less content to fill.

The rest of these dramas has a shooting time with 6 months or less. I will say though a lot of these dramas are not action-packed (also I haven't checked the budget for any of these), so comparatively they probably have different needs when filming. The drama that comes closest in terms of action is Stranger/Secret Forest, and it's also pretty close in shooting time with only 2 month different (that's counting from the first table read though). This was however pre-produced so they wrapped up filming before the first episode even aired (if my information is correct). Also this was a season two so they were operating under a little different circumstances.

But with the exception of Stranger/Secret Forest (preproduced) and Hospital Playlist(tried to work with humane working hours), none of this drama has a 6-month filming duration before the first episode aired. In fact some of these dramas don't even exceed 6 months of filming. Meaning they had less time to shoot before the first episode aired. Their production was probably also lower and none them did CGI (although I haven't watched all of them so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) as that should also be accounted for.

So 8 months of filming is a lot to allocate to a drama, at least it's not the norm. There are other dramas that exceed that filming time that didn't make the list (Mr. Sunshine sorry too much research for at this point), but obviously that is not the standard.

Obviously I don't know how the filming was divided, how many of the episodes they had filmed before the first one aired. I don't know how many of the episode scripts were written before it aired. But I can see that even with the live-shooting, Vincenzo has some very uneven scheduling that doesn't align with how the rest of these dramas did their scheduling and airing. None of the mentioned dramas had any delays (in airing, I can't be sure about filming as some of them are probably affected by the pandemic), and yet Vincenzo did, even though they had spent more time filming before the first episode aired.

Also, most of these dramas wrapped up filming with more than a week to spare before the final airing, with It's Okay Not To Be Okay coming the closest to the airing date (with the ones where I know the date when they finished shooting), but they also only had 1-3 months of filming before the drama actually started airing so much less time than Vincenzo. And although they didn't have CGI, they did have the animations for each of the fairytales which I don't know how long it took but I can imagine it took some time.

So then I looked up another drama not by tvN but by Park Jae Bum:

Good Manager/Chief Kim

December 15, 2016 first script reading

January 25, 2017 First episode aired

March 30, 2017 Last episode aired

I couldn't find the date they finished filming, but given they only started a month before airing (honestly I felt super sorry for the cast and crew when I saw these dates), I am assuming the hit the last airing date pretty closely with filming, and that would give them 3 months of filming roughly. And they also had 20 episodes like Vincenzo.

I haven't seen this drama myself, so I can't say anything about the writing quality, but here Park Jae Bum was working under even more time pressure and was able to deliver the ending on time and as I hear, it was pretty a pretty good ending (but I haven't seen it, so feel free to refute me). And yet he couldn't do it for Vincenzo. So I do think something happened with ending, whether it was Park Jae Bum just took a long time writing it for whatever reasons, or someone/thing (be it something personal, writer's block, execs not liking the ending etc.) actually interfered and that prolonged the writing or entirely changed the ending.

Anyway this became too long, so let me just end it here.

I wish I had time to make a more comprehensive list so I could be more definite in the conclusion because obviously I can't base everything of the schedule of 8 dramas that also vastly different in production quality, genre and content.

So yeah I might have just wasted the last three-four hours making something that doesn't even make sense. But hey, at least I'm less prepared for the exams now, good use of time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#Vincenzo #so much procrastination #I don't know if this was just an excuse to not look at unity #probably #also I think this mostly also to satisfy my curiosity about the live-shooting broadcasting system in general #although there is still a lot to be learned #sometimes I have this idea that bad dramas are live-shoot and the good dramas are preproduced #but then I think of descendents of the suns and remember not all preproduced dramas are good #and if chief kim/good manager is as good as everyone says #they did a pretty good job considering the circumstances they had to work under #I have put it on my watch list #so once I'm done with exams I can watch it #and then I can tell you if I think PJB can write a good drama under immense time pressure #anyway this was probably pointless #but here it is anyway

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joyfulhopelox · 3 years

Text

"Right now i don’t know if i want to kiss you or shove you off this building" End

A/N: welp i delayed it as much as possible because life happened and i had no time to do this, but i have managed to finish it whilst procrastinating at work (i advise against that to be honest), part 2 (or the end of this library saga) was meant to be out earlier :( i am pretty sure i wrote most of this high on sleep deprivation but i still hope it is enjoyable to read <3

Picture not mine but i cannot find the owner to credit ><

Part 1 | Part 2(end)

genre: fluff (x100) a tiny bit of angst if you use a binocular, University! au/ College!au

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox do NOT repost

Pairing: J-Hope x reader (College!AU/ University!AU can also call it idiots2lovers au?)

Word count: 4.3k words

Warnings: there one bad word towards the end, if you find libraries to give you a panic attack (i know i did when i was in the midst of exams) be warned and i’m still bad at writing fluff but here we go

“I’m Y/N by the way” you looked up in time to see him smile.

“I know”

Ever since that night, you and Hoseok have developed a pattern, you would meet in that spot at odd times in the night and work quietly.

That pattern went on for the last few weeks of your exam period, day after day, or should you say night after night you would rush to the library, albeit telling yourself it was not for the sake of the handsome man with sunshine in his smile and stars in his eyes.

You had to study, and the space that he had revealed to you was convenient and quiet, tucked away from the rest of the prying eyes. Just you and him on that windowsill under the night time sky. As much as you wanted to berate yourself for becoming so mushy, you knew that from the moment he grabbed your hand and took you to that spot trying to carry a conversation with you but immediately going quiet under your glare that your heart had given in. Bit by bit, even if sitting in silence quietly doing your own work your heart had warmed up under his blinding smile. The warmth of his eyes as they would catch your wandering ones did nothing but make your breath catch in your throat and your heart beat at a thousand miles per hour.

You knew you had it bad.

How could you not? After the first few minutes of him having taken you to that spot your annoyance had disappeared into the night below you, leaving room for the feelings of companionship and comfort that Hoseok’s presence brought with him. A week later, as you had started sharing information between the two of you, hushed and secretive as if anyone would be able to hear it, those feelings were replaced by something warmer and softer than companionship and comfort, something akin to safety and friendship. Now as the calendar marks the monthly mark of having met him you realise as you stare at the empty space near the window that it has bloomed into a full fledged....crush.

With feelings of panic raging inside of you, unsure whether they sparked because of your discovery or because the man in question was missing from his usual spot again. The first time even though you had felt the small stab of disappointment you did not think much of it. After all he was not tied to being there every night, maybe he had places to be, other people to spend time with. For a second you allowed a slither of jealousy to pass through your heart thinking that someone else was getting that warm smile for the night, and in the next second you told yourself you are stupid and shrugged it off. That feeling of jealousy never returned, instead it was morphing more and more into worry. The second night he did not appear you wracked your brain for any information that he may have given you that you may have missed about him not being able to come anymore but you could not find anything. In fact, you could not even recall if he has told you what he does outside of your impromptu study sessions. Worry starts gnawing at your stomach after the third and fourth day that he doesn’t come. Even worse is the desperation that takes over when you not only realise you knew very little about Hoseok, but you did not even have a way of contacting him. Briefly chatting about likes, dislikes, dreams and wishes is nothing tangible, nothing that could give you any information on how you could reach out to him and check he is alright.

The fifth and sixth night you start giving up and assume that he has finished his exams and he does not need to study anymore. With a heavy heart you tell yourself he did not owe you anything, he more than made up for stealing your seat that one time. The time you two spent together in silence studying or the times you would secretly bring your heads closer together so that you could whisper random things and share jokes with one another in the silence of the night.

This created an intimacy which you couldn’t lie to yourself, it made you feel fuzzy inside. That elatedness of being so close to this person however, once they had removed themselves from you switched to an empty feeling as if you’ve lost something that you held dear. And maybe you did hold him dear. No, you definitely did.

But he did not arrive, by day seven you had steeled yourself against the tumultuous feelings inside your chest. He was not coming and your exams were not going to pass themselves. The seat by the window did not seem as magical or appealing anymore and thus you also removed yourself from it. Being the end of exam period, multiple departments had already finished theirs and so you found copious amounts of spaces that you did not hesitate to occupy. Trying to get your mind off of the now lonely seat by the window upstairs you threw yourself into your work but once in a while you could not stop yourself from wondering if he ever came back to check whether you were still there or not.

And so, another week has passed and with that it added to another two weeks you had not seen Jung Hoseok. But that was ok.

Until that one fateful day where you had finished your exams and were preparing to finish writing your last assignment which was due in the late afternoon. It was not a night time study session but instead a daytime one. Today would also be the last day you set foot inside the library for the foreseeable future. After today you would have another few days until your break and you had been planning to head home to visit friends and family. Next term you would switch accommodation as well on a different campus which housed its own library. So all in all, today marked the last day of you being in this library for the next year. It also marked the last day you may possibly ever have the chance to see Hoseok again. That thought made you pause in your step and your heart clench for a second. That just did not seem right. It doesn’t matter, you told yourself and kept walking towards the back of the second floor.

Just as you’d finished that thought, as if life had been trying to prove to you that it did matter, or maybe it had been your heart that had conjured him in front of you, there stood Hoseok. Talking with another guy with similar striking features, and yet the total opposite. Whereas Hoseok had dark hair and sharp features this guy had ash blonde hair, was a bit shorter and had a soft look about him. And yet he seemed broodier than Hoseok who seemed to be smiling and laughing at something. You wanted to be angry, and you were, but seeing him smiling so freely released the fist that seemed to have been holding your lungs and it felt like you could breathe easier. He was fine at least, nothing’s happened to him. That did not mean that you would acknowledge his presence. After all, he’s decided that your friendship and companionship was not something he was interested in anymore so you would not force it on him. Steeling your nerves for when you would pass by him, you tried to keep your gaze ahead of you as much as you could, but luck would not have it and his friend’s chuckle made you pause in your step and your brain to react. And so your eyes turned involuntarily towards the two.

You knew that when you had asked him to sit with you on the first day that you had met, you would either make the best decision of your life or the worst. As soon as your eyes locked onto his widened ones, you had decided- it had been the worst mistake of your life.

The clench in your chest is a reminder of the feelings you developed for this person. With his cheerful personality a great contrast of the seriousness with which he treated heavy issues and listened to your problems, it did not take long for your heart to warm up to him.

Eyes locked onto each other it felt like an eternity when in reality it had just been a couple of seconds, before you got pulled out of your thoughts by Hoseok’s friend calling for his attention. Quickly looking away from him as to not rouse suspicion in your own group of friends you missed the furrowed brows and pained look he gave you before his smile took over as he turned towards his companion.

“Is everything ok?” you heard his friend ask. You wish you had not been as close to them as you had been, you had no intention of hearing Hoseok’s reply, but it rang loud and clear in your head.

“Yeah, i just remembered something important.”

That had been a couple of hours ago, and yet his words still rang in your head. You could not understand what he had meant by that. Did he mean you? Did he suddenly remember something else and he did not recognise you? As impossible as you knew that to be, your confused heart kept yelling that the latter was the case. Sighing for the hundredth time you tried to pull your attention back to the last piece of work that kept you away from freedom but it proved to be impossible.

‘I am going to look for a book’ you told your friend who shooed you away, if only for her own piece of mind and quietness. You had been sighing so loudly that you had annoyed everyone around you.

Walking through the shelves perusing for a book- any book, reminded you of that night from weeks ago. Right now that night seemed quite distant and the elated feeling you used to get whilst browsing the shelves was no longer there anymore. Now you were lost in thought, your eyes not focusing on anything really. Randomly grabbing a book without even glancing at the title you prepared to move along and return back to your friends.

You were so lost in thought you almost missed the low whisper of someone calling your name. Your daze now broken and assuming it was one of your friends who’d decided you had been missing for too long, you turned around. Only to discover that it had not been one of your friends- well he was, but you did not know if you had the right to call him that anymore. Most importantly you did not know whether or not your heart had the courage to call him that anymore. Wishing you’d ignored him but now being too late you hummed in acknowledgement praying that you sounded disinterested instead of hurt.

“Hey” he whispered.

“Hello”

After the awkward greeting he did not carry on talking to you and you made no move to carry on with pleasantries. Instead he stood on the spot, his ebony eyes scanning your defensive form. You tried to reciprocate his stare if only to make up for the fact that your shoulders involuntarily hunched and your chin started to slightly quiver. You thought you could act in a civil manner and yet, your body language was saying something completely different. Unable to hold his inquisitive gaze any longer you lower your head and sigh. You were not in the mood to try to chat to someone who clearly has no interest in your person, and pretending would only cause more harm. And yet, when a low indiscernible sound made its way out of his mouth, your eyes snapped back onto him as quickly as they could, hoping and praying that this was it. He would finally say something to you.

He smiled at you uncertainly. ‘Here we are again’ he cleared his throat. You did not know if it was the tone of his voice which read nothing or if it was the way he kept gazing at you. Gentle and sympathetic, as if you would break if anything short of a breeze would touch you. Maybe you would break, if the anger that took over your system was any indication of your haphazard feelings. Looking at Hoseok incredulously you tried to reign your anger in.

“What?”

“You- uhm you stole my book” he motioned to the book you had been carelessly swinging around in an attempt to protect yourself from any attempt of his approaching you. His change in attitude and uncertain tone almost made you miss the reference he was trying to make.

Instead of coming back with a witty reply, as he’d been expecting, your brain frazzled. You did the only thing you could do in this situation. You sputtered an i’m sorry and immediately handed the book to him preparing to leave his immediate vicinity.

Sensing your hesitancy and seeing your distraught face made his heart drop. Had he done something wrong? As hurt as he was for you ignoring him, he cared so he worried about you more than he did about his feelings.

“Hey, you ok?” he inquired and your body froze on the spot. You could have very easily chosen to ignore him and his question, keep walking, out of the library, out of his life. And yet, something stopped you. You needed an explanation, it was killing you on the inside. You would have tried to carry on without thinking about him for months before you’d manage to go back to some semblance of normalcy. But why waste those months wallowing in what ifs. Why not hear it straight from him.

“Where were you?” not one for pleasantries still you turned around and grimaced at his confused expression.

“What do you mean where was i? I told you where i would be” he responded, his brows furrowing. “No you didn’t” you insisted crossing your arms in front of you as if in an attempt to cover your weakness. “I haven’t got a clue what you are talking about, i haven’t seen you here in weeks” trying to tone down the desperation in your voice you blurted out the first words that came to mind, only to regret that decision a moment later.

“That is because i have not been in here in weeks” he had the nerve to look sheepish.

“And you have the nerve to tell me i would know where you were?” he opened his mouth to reply but you carried on, not trusting yourself to be able to get your thoughts and feelings out in the open at a later date. “ I waited to talk to you, i wanted to talk to you….no, i needed to talk to you. And because of that my past few weeks of exams have been spent thinking about whether or not i should go look for you or if i should just give up and leave a….”

Note!

Realisation dawned on you, he had tried to reach out to you. In the only way he could, considering that you had not shared any personal contacts with each other. He had left a note, just as you have done. And just as before, the note had probably fallen down in a place where you had completely missed it. Not responding to him, you grabbed his hand trying to ignore the feeling of coming home that it gave you and headed for the lifts. Pushing the button towards your tower you shushed him as soon as he tried to say your name.

“Where exactly are we going?” you would have laughed at the repetitiveness of the situation if not for the slight anger at your own stupidity and embarrassment at the fact that you had not let go of his hand and you did not intend to. It seemed like neither was he.

Reaching the tower, you headed straight for the window you had called yours and Hoseok’s up until a few months ago. Coming to an abrupt stop, causing Hoseok to bump into your back you turned around and finally addressed him. “We’re both idiots” you chuckled to yourself.

He observed you for a few seconds, his dark eyes taking in every little detail of your features as if committing them to memory before finally coming to settle onto your own eyes. Staring at each other you couldn’t take his gaze anymore so you turned around, figuring that you may just as well look for the note that had been left for you to miss apparently.

Scouring the area and only turning around once you found the crumpled piece of paper in between the foot of the desk you had been using and the wall. “What are you doing?” he tried again taking steps closer to you until he was a step away from bumping into your form. Looking around he motioned behind him, “I thought you said you’d never come back here” then he looked back at you pleadingly, “or talk to me again” he whispered the last part as if it was the biggest of his fears. And maybe it was, for you it definitely was. You did not need to tell him you’d made a huge mistake in anger when you’d said that.

Waving the note around you smiled at him. “We’re idiots” you motioned to the note and finally opened it. As your eyes skimmed through you could feel the smile slipping off your face and the sting of the gathering tears. “Idiot” you whispered to yourself.

“Ah” he was so close to you now, if you tried hard enough you could feel the heat emanating from him. As he talked, his breath fanned the hair that had fallen onto your face. He was close enough that you were sure he could hear the pumping of your heart, your breath hitched. Not daring to look at him, you stared at the note, your hands starting to tremble.

‘Dear Y/N,

I have tried my best to write the best confession I could, but i am afraid i am not able to express myself in the ways i wish i could. These past few weeks have been a struggle for me to not blurt out something that could have prematurely ended what friendship we have formed over a stolen study space. I do not have the courage to say this to your face so i will write it down here in hopes that by the time i meet you again the embarrassment would have passed.

I told you i cannot express myself properly, as i am writing this my hands are sweating and my mind is in chaos. I find it very difficult to not act like an idiot when i think about you, let alone when i see you or speak to you. To be able to convey my feelings in person seems impossible so here i go….

I like you. I like you a lot.

There it is, but please give it a few days. I will stop coming here for now so that i can gather myself for your response and lets meet again in the cafe next to the library in 3 days.

Yours,

Jung Hoseok’

“So you did not find it in the end” he mused not moving away from you. “ That is understandable considering that we seem to have been in this situation before” he softly chuckled. You would have stopped to consider how lovely that sound was if not for the fact that you were still frozen on the spot, your brain calculating how long it’s been since that note had been left there. A sense of excitement then washed over you. He liked you! He shared your feelings. But that was to be washed soon by the sense of dread, it’s been weeks. And you had not fulfilled his request of meeting him, has everything changed now? Would things be different? Would he resent you for not meeting him there in the first place?

“Hey- look at me” he softly tried to coax you, noticing the slow trickle of tears running down your face. Refusing to do so, you shook your head trying to get yourself together. You would face this with your head up, not crying and taking responsibility for missing his note.

“Look at me, please” a gentle finger lifted your head up by the chin. Your stubbornness prevailed, your refusal to look at him still strong. You closed your eyes tightly, willing your tears to subside. A soft touch underneath your eyelids made you gasp softly, the warmth of his fingertips trailing over the tracks your tears have made. The fleeting touch coaxed your eyes to finally open, your blurry vision taking in the affectionate look on his face.

“There you go” he smiled fondly, never in a million years had he thought he’d get the chance to be so close to you in such an intimate manner. The late nights you had shared together, whereas you were sitting closely together you were always divided by a desk. He tried his hardest throughout that period of time to not blurt out his feelings for you, if only to not make it awkward. Unfortunately, as nights went by and you two got closer and closer together, it became too much for him. He knew he had to say something before he imploded and blurted out how cute you looked when you were struggling to not bite the end of your pen in concentration. He tried to be brave and do it in person for a couple of nights in a row, only to chicken out every time you would share a smile with him or laugh at one of his jokes. So he decided he’s not going to tell you in person, he is going to write you a letter and leave it on the desk, in the memory of the first time you’d met.

He should have known though, the first time you’d met was because of a note disappearance disaster. And whereas that had worked in his favour, this time it had not. He’d written- if you could call that blurb writing, the note and waited for a couple of days to prepare himself for your response. He knew it would not be a positive one. And when he ended up waiting in the cafe the whole day with no word from you, he became even more uncertain. Sadness came first, then panic. Not once had he considered that maybe, maybe you haven't seen the note. Really stupid of him.

He could not go back to the library after your refusal to meet him in the cafe, or what he thought was your refusal. That decision seemed to further the misunderstandings between the two of you. You thought he was avoiding you and he thought you did not want to see him at all after finding out about his feelings. Right now though, staring at your tear ridden face he knew your answer, there was no doubt about it.

Laughing in relief he cupped your face. “We have indeed both been idiots, should have known history would repeat itself”

You knew it was now or never. “Is it too late?” Your meek voice reached his ears and he tried his best not to laugh and present you with the most serious face he could muster. Whilst still cupping your face he rubbed the remnant tears that were threatening to leave salt marks on your cheek. Your focus now solely on him and on his expression, you gulped. He was going to say…

“Yes” you closed your eyes again, suddenly feeling a cold shiver gripping your whole body. You had feared that would be the answer, but hearing it from his mouth whilst his eyes were giving nothing away but a mirror of your own pained eyes. You told yourself you would be brave and take the responsibility. But being faced with the decision of having to let him go for good you could not stand it. “I’m sorry” you whispered, lowering your head in shame. “Is there nothing I can do?”

A last desperate attempt but you had to try.

Feeling him move a step away from you, your heart clenched in panic.

“Yes, we lost too much time. You could give me an answer now?” He tried, this time confident in your response.

A myriad of feelings cursing through you at the same time. Shock, relief, happiness; and all from his words. “Idiot, right now I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you of this building” you gave out a short laugh.

Hoseok was slowly closing the distance between the two of you once again. A shit eating grin plastered all over his face he cupped your face once again and lowered his head to yours until all you could see were his soft lips and all you could feel was his warm breath on your face. Slowly descending onto yours, lips finally meeting in a brief kiss only making you crave more. But as you went to respond he pulled away, the grin still present.

“How about I make that decision for you?”

You laughed and grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket pulling him to you once again this time in a longer kiss.

A/N: I am not going to lie i think i struggled at the end but thank you for reading this if you have reached this point :) when work stops killing me i will try to post the moodboard i created for this and for future fics that i will be writing, i'm treating my journal as my moodboard for writing inspo instead of actual journalling and i find it more fun and enjoyable that way

Main Masterlist

#jhope x reader #jhope x y/n #jhope fic #bts scenarios #jhope scenario #fic #bts fic #kpop #jhope masterlist #i write because i enjoy it but i cry everytime #hoseok #bts x reader #scenario

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greekgrad07 · 4 years

Text

i blame @deepestempathllamalawyer and @zitzboy for this but this post got me thinking about malconnor and now i can’t stop i’m sorry

malconnor headcanons

they had always been friendly with each other bc of connor and annabeth but nothing worth calling an actual friendship

they never really talked unless annabeth was around until one day after the battle of manhattan

so connor had a bunch of summer assignments he has put off for the last minute bc a.) there was a fucking war going on and b.) procrastination is a curse

he went to the athena cabin hoping to find annabeth for some help but when he got there the only athena kid in sight was malcolm (annabeth was out with her new boyfriend percy alhdkjdk)

so it would be awkward at first but basically it would go something like this

“hey, annabeth isn’t here.” “oh sorry, i was just gonna ask her about some homework, i’ll come back later i guess haha.” and like right as he turns around connor hears malcolm say, “i mean, i could help you, if you want. annabeth isn’t the only smart kid in this cabin, you know?”

and connor is FLUSTERED bc 1.) him and malcolm have barely said three words to each other alone before and now he’s offering to spend gods know how long trying to explain algebra to him, 2.) he’s pretty sure he’s just offended him and if there is one thing connor knows, it’s that you should never, ever, make a child of athena think you doubt their intelligence, and 3.) well, actually, he ain’t sure what else is making him nervous

so after that it gets to the point where connor starts to seek malcolm out for help on all of his assignments, and once they are done with that, connor starts to look for new ways to spend time with him

this boy has no idea how to make friends without pranking them but for some reason connor can’t talk himself into doing anything that may embarrass or hurt malcolm (he tells himself that it’s probably bc he feels indebted to him but...)

not to mention the last child of athena he became friends with was basically desperate for attention at the time, it was easier back then. but malcolm is new territory, and just like annabeth, most of her siblings are intimidating.

obviously he knows that malcolm is willing to help him so connor decides that the best way to insinuate friendship is by making a mountain out of anthill problems just to ask for the son of athena’s help

and this works. malcolm was willing to help connor with almost all of his minor inconveniences.

one time, connor “dropped” his lucky ring during a volleyball match. thankfully, malcolm just so happened to be there

“mal! hey sorry, but my ring fell off during the tournament. i think it’s in the sand somewhere, do you care to help me find it before your cabin starts the next game?”

it was a while before malcolm found the ring. the ring that just appeared out of nowhere at his feet after about thirty minutes of searching, cracking jokes, and avoiding the gaze of the demeter cabin glaring at the two boys to hurry up.

(needless to say, the ring was in connors pocket the whole time)

another time was when connor snuck out of camp with travis to go to the 7/11 down the street and couldn’t decide which snacks to get for the bonfire that night

this resulted in the first of many iris messages to malcolm

“flaming hot cheetos or takis?” “why not both?” “you’re after my own heart, pace.”

connor did not see the other boy blushing at his words (and he did not spend the rest of the night overthinking about that sentence thank you very much)

travis did end up teasing his little brother about it though

“what’s with you and children of athena?” “dude what are you talking about?”

but the best incident was when one of connors problems involved annabeth- or rather, finding annabeth. and he didn’t even have to make that one up

he and annabeth were supposed to train that day, but she was late. normally he would be worried, but a part of him was glad that he had an excuse to go talk to malcolm.

turns out, he didn’t have to.

right as he walked up to the cabin, the boy in question opened the door.

the two bumped into each other and connor wasn’t sure why his face started heating up or why malcolm was looking anywhere but his face.

the blonde boy stuttered out how he was just on his way to the arena to meet him.

“wait what? i just came here to ask you about annabeth.” malcolm’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink and connor doesn’t know why he finds that so endearing, “percy planned a surprise picnic for the two of them, so i offered to spar with you in her place so she wouldn’t feel bad.”

when i say this boy was blushing-

so they spar together and then decide, hey why not hang out for the rest of the day?

and oh boy when the day came that malcolm started coming to connor for help

let’s just say that he was beaming

not to mention it was something that connor was more than happy to help with

apparently some kids of hephaestus were being dicks to one of the younger athena kids and malcolm was pissed, so he asked connor for some pranking tips

they ended up sneaking into the cabin, sabotaging the campers newest projects, and covering all of their tools with honey and feathers

after spending all night hearing malcolm’s laugh and seeing his pale blonde hair in the moonlight as he dropped him off at the athena cabin, connor was sure that friendship wasn’t all he wanted with the boy now

one day, while connor was trying to think of a new excuse to talk to malcolm, the boy walked up to him and asked if he wanted to pick strawberries with him

“yes! i mean- yeah, yeah sound fun”

the two spent the day at the strawberry field picking -eating- strawberries while they talked and laughed with each other

at some point during the evening, connor started retelling a story about him and annabeth from their youth at camp. it involved a prank against clarrise and some glue, and it had both boys cackling by the end of it

then malcolm said “i’m sorry that you got stuck with a walmart annabeth that day, but i’m kind of glad that my sister wasn’t in the cabin when you were looking for help with your school work. i’m not great with getting to know people but i liked how easy it was with you.”

connor would have taken the compliment in stride if it weren’t for malcolms first comment “what do you mean walmart annabeth?”

the boys stopped and looked back at connor “just that, i know you and annabeth are really close, and she’s been busy recently. i understand that you would want to hangout with someone who reminds you of her. i’m okay with it, really. i like spending time with you.”

connor felt his heart simultaneously swell and break at the same time. not once had connor thought of malcolm as an annabeth replacement, nor would he ever. the two children of athena were similar yes, but a lot of siblings are, it doesn’t mean they are the same, and connor definitely never associated them as being such. so he told him that

“i like spending time with you, too. you as in malcolm pace, not an annabeth replacement. i’ve never seen you like that and i never would. plus, you’re not walmart anything, you’re full channel baby. children of hermes only steal the best of the best.”

“what exactly would you be stealing?”

connor just smiled and grabbed the boys hand.

that night, connor stoll made a list including all the things he liked about malcolm pace. he made sure to add the things he liked that he knew differentiated the boy from annabeth as well

some things on the list include how his hair was a more pale blonde compared to his other siblings. connor liked how it certain lights it looked white.

the fact that he was the same height as connor, which made it easier to look him in the eyes

his eyes which were a dark grey and could be considered scary if it weren’t for the gleam they always wore

the way that he always blushed when romantics were involved, no matter how innocent

or how loud he laughed at a joke that he found funny, despite how he tried to muffle it into the collar of his shirt

connor likes how willing malcolm is to help people and how brilliant he is

he likes that malcolm tries to follow the rules but still knows how to have fun and let loose

connor stoll likes malcolm pace

but it’s even better when annabeth finds out

“you and my brother?!”

“you liked luke for who knows how long, i don’t wanna hear it chase!”

#i really don’t know if these are any good but here we are #yes i know that no one else cares about this #but i do so here we are #malconnor is currently living in my head rent free #it’s my hc ship and i will go down with it #post connabeth #connabeth notion how we feeling #don’t hit me pls #connor deserves happiness after fulfilling the connabeth agenda #malconnor #malcolm pace #connor stoll #connabeth #percabeth #pjo headcanon #pjo

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monsterywriting · 3 years

Text

Thenerius - pt 2

word count: 5,675

male tiefling x female reader

Read Part 1 here

AN: whelp i guess this is getting (hopefully just) a third part... good luck to everyone else who’s going through finals week and don’t procrastinate your final projects/tests like i am! literally have a final today to study for and take after my 8 am and a portfolio due friday i haven’t started on lol

You were getting one last bucket-full of water for a much-needed bath from the pump around the back of the barn, too far to hear when the thundering sound of hooves on the dirt path approach the cottage. You also miss the shout of greeting and the sound of voices entering the cottage.

The sun was finally dipping below the horizon on a long day of playing catch-up around the homestead, and your only plans for the evening were to wash up and make dinner before passing out. So, when you finally reentered through the back door soaked in sweat and worn work clothes only to see your mother sitting at the small wooden table with none other than Thenerius, you were understandably shocked.

He was obviously here to kill you, getting revenge for how you humiliated him and refused his advances when he wanted you to accept them the most. You had been brave in that moment, brushed aside the fact that he was a pirate and more likely than not a killer, and now you would be paying the price.

When the tiefling saw you frozen at the doorway, his already bright demeanor seemed to reach the levels of the surface of the sun, blinding then burning when he stood up to greet you enthusiastically. You almost wish he was here to kill you, that fate infinitely better than whatever he actually had planned instead.

Pointedly ignoring him, you addressed your mother only, asking if she took her medicine yet.

“Your friend from work was keeping me company,” your mother smiled, though it was clear that she was drained from the encounter, “He brought your weekly payment from Aedan.”

Your head snapped over to Thenerius, the tiefling having the nerve to grin and hold up a pouch of coins. You were distracted, however, when your mother let out a soft cough she tried in vain to hold back. She broke out into a coughing fit, starting small and growing until they wracked her body.

Your concern grew, helping her to the bedroom and quickly getting some cough syrup into her. Once she was settled, you went back into the main room to deal with the purple menace.

He was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room once you returned, the pouch sitting on the table. You stalk over and grab the pouch, shoving it into the tiefling’s chest.

“You need to leave,” you hiss, beginning to usher Thenerius towards the door.

“Wait!” The bastard had the nerve to dig his heels in, refusing to move until you give up on forcing him.

“What?” You spat, glaring up at him. Perhaps you would have found it amusing, how he had to duck his head to keep his horns from scraping the ceiling, a grizzled pirate trying to make himself fit inside the cozy cottage. No, you definitely would have found it hilarious, if said pirate wasn’t in your cottage unannounced, the location of which you never divulged during working hours, apparently trying to win your affections after your admittedly callous rejection.

“I-” Thenerius hesitated, any confidence he had that carried him all the way to your home dissipating when you weren’t as responsive to his charms as he’d come to expect from you, “I wanted to apologize. You were right, about the proposal. I shouldn’t have done that.”

You blinked, having assumed you’d be given another unwanted love confession. You’re not sure what to make of the admission, though you’re certain it wasn’t a trick, as he seemed genuinely remorseful.

“What part, that we’ve only known each other for three weeks or that it was because you were so lonely and any girl who wagged her tail at you would have had you falling for her?” You’re internally grimacing as soon as the words are out, unable to believe how cold you sound even to yourself. You didn’t want to goad him to anger if he was just here to apologize.

“If my memory serves correctly, I believe the exact phrase you used was ‘bat their eyelashes’ at me.” The attempt at humor didn’t quite reach Thenerius’ eyes, but you still allowed yourself to deflate at the opportunity of a reprieve, “but that it came too soon. I had done it thinking of all the time that had passed since I met you, the time I spent halfway across the world and all I could think about was returning to you. Your smile alone made the entire six month journey worth it, but you gave me so much more in that time - not your love. I know that, now, but… your time, and affection. Once you said that - that we’d only been in each other’s presence for three weeks - I realized, perhaps I was rushed in my assessment of who you were. I filled the gaps of who I wanted you to be in my head.”

By the end of his faltering speech, you had shut your eyes, screwing them tightly shut in order to avoid having to look into Thenerius’ eyes, the raw emotion that swelled behind them that threatened to consume you with it. You refused to allow yourself to be caught up in the moment, to let yourself fall any deeper in than you already were entrenched from his flowery words. Just words, you told yourself.

“Is that all you needed to say?” You clear your throat, opening your eyes and looking anywhere but him, your resolve thinning with the mere awareness of his gaze upon you, feeling yourself being worn down.

Perhaps ‘worn down’ wasn’t the right verbiage, though it very much felt like it. Dragging you out into the light? Exposing you to be scrutinized, or to be known? What is the difference, if any? Either way, you felt as though Thenerius could read every passing thought darting around your head at lightening speed, projecting loud and clear your true desires no matter what you could say to the contrary.

“No, I want to know you. My feelings haven’t changed since that night, but I want you to feel the same.”

You let out a deep breath you weren’t aware you were holding. The short sentence is so simple, clear in meaning and intent. It’s… infuriating. A wave of something flowed over you in that moment, a realization like a bucket of ice water dousing you. You were shaking, your realized, but not with cold.

“You want to change my mind?” You whisper, cursing yourself for your inability to do much more in this conversation than to parrot his words, “You come to my home - unprompted, in fact, considering our last conversation, entirely unnecessarily - to what, exactly? Prove that I’m some prize to be won over by you? Come see how sorry my life is, see my sick mother and how I work my ass off at the tavern and here and think I’ll jump into your arms with some words? You must know that I wouldn’t go with you. Nor would I sit here waiting for you to return from the sea, hoping you’ll return for a few weeks every year and grace me with your presence and gold.”

You pause for air, realizing with horror that you were crying of all things. You quickly run your hands over your cheeks, glaring at Thenerius in a silent challenge, waiting for him to turn tail and run, “Now go.”

In yet another turn of seemingly endless events that should no longer have surprised you with how consistently they’ve been happening, Thenerius surprised you yet again.

“Well, this is awkward. I may have sent my men back south with my ship. I’m in need of room and board,” Thenerius said, and for the life of you, no matter how closely you examined his expression, you could not figure out what the hell he was thinking.

“Go to The Deep, then. I happen to be of the inside knowledge that there’s plenty of vacancies this time of year,” you said, brushing past the tiefling on your way back to your forgotten bucket of water, ready to escape this suffocating atmosphere.

“I don’t have enough gold for the length of time I’m planning on staying,” he replied.

“This is sounding more and more like your crew left you here and took the ship for themselves,” you deadpan, hefting the bucket up and carefully carrying it back towards the bathroom.

“My crew wouldn’t do that,” Thenerius’ voice suddenly turned serious, “I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t have come here if they had.”

“Well, unlucky me, then,” you grumble, “You’re still not staying here.”

“You’re very sarcastic,” Thenerius noted, and you prayed for his sake that the comment wasn’t a part of his vow to get to know the real you.

You disappear down the hall and into the bathroom, dumping the bucket into the basin. To your great relief, the water was still steaming.

“Wait, your pay!” Thenerius walked in behind you. You could tell the exact moment he realized where he was, quickly averting his eyes from you.

You roll your eyes. As if you would undress for any reason while he was still in the house.

“Please, you may have lied to my mother, but I’m no fool,” you snort, ignoring the outstretched hand to check the water, “Mr. Thistle would never trust a pirate with money, much less tell you where I live.”

“I’ll- come back later,” he says, turning to get out the room.

“No, you’re leaving,” you follow after him.

“Dear, it’s much to too late for him to ride, he can sleep here.” You and Thenerius both jump at your mother’s sudden appearance, both of you having forgotten that you were arguing right in front of the bedroom.

“But-” your protest is cut short when she only shakes her head, and you hope to Tova that she only caught the tail-end of your conversation with Thenerius.

“If you must, you can ride with him tomorrow to ask Aedan to give him a discount. Tomorrow.”

You run your hands down your face, glancing out the nearest window to confirm it was in fact dark out.

“Fine,” you sigh, pointing at Thenerius, “but you’re gone first thing tomorrow!”

Thenerius at least has the decency to not look too excited under your scrutiny, thanking your mother quietly.

“Go wash up, mom, it’s ready,” you inform her, moving away from the doorway so she can slip past.

You consider telling Thenerius to go last in the bath, but you’re covered in dried mud and animal shit and you weren’t going to have his tavern smell stinking up the sofa.

“You’re next,” you tell him, finally noticing how cramped the hallway was with two people in it. You push past him to to sit at the table again.

Thenerius followed you, keen to the fact that he was on thin ice and remained wisely silent as you waited for your mother to finish in the bathroom.

When she exited, dressed in her nightgown and hair wrapped tightly in a towel, you ushered Thenerius in, barely giving him time to grab his bag on the floor next to the chair he’d been sitting in when you first walked in. You enter close behind, going around him to grab a towel for him to use and quickly leaving him to his privacy, letting out the longest exhale of your life once the door shut behind you. You go back to the table and sit, trying not to think about the naked tiefling in your bathtub as you started the fire under the stove.

As soon as Thenerius stepped out of the bathroom with his bag in hand, you rush in, not making eye contact before you slam the door shut behind yourself.

The water is still somewhat lukewarm, and clear enough besides the murkiness from the soap. You think about literally anything else besides the fact that Thenerius had been in the same water just minutes before you, using the bowl to run water over your hair and quickly lathering the bar soap with a clean washcloth. The sooner you get out the better, you think.

It isn’t until you’re out of the bath and looking at your nightclothes that you realize you’re going to have to wear them in front of him, unless you change into clean day clothes just to change into them in the privacy of your bedroom later.

It’s just tonight, you tell yourself, he’ll be gone tomorrow. And why would you have to modify your routine for him? He’s the one intruding. It won’t be a big deal so lang as you act like it isn’t. It’s not like you’ll be prancing around naked. They’re your winter ones, the material made much thicker than the normal cotton.

Properly talked up, you walk out, pretending not to notice how Thenerius stops mid-sentence in a conversation with your mother to stare at you like the moon herself descended in front of him.

“I’ll have dinner ready soon.” You mumble, not stopping until you were safely in the kitchen.

You take the last eight eggs and crack them onto the iron skillet sitting on the stove, immediately sizzling before you take a flat spoon to scramble and scrape them into three plates. You then add leftover cuts from a chicken you culled from your flock a week ago to the skillet to cook, already seasoned. Then, you took the stack of unleavened bread your mother made during the day while you worked before putting them on another flat slab of iron on the stove to warm them.

Once you had a sizable enough stack for three people, you wrapped the resulting unleavened bread in cloth and balanced the three plates in your arms and carried everything back into the dining area.

You had heard Thenerius and your mother sharing a hushed conversation through the walls, but weren’t able to make out any specifics. However, when thy both immediate hushed up once you entered, it was clear who the topic of their chat was.

You set down the plates, frowning once you realized you’d have to sit next to Thenerius, as it was only a four-person table and they were already sitting at opposite ends. Once you were seated, however, the dinner conversation was thankfully limited as everyone focused on their plates.

Then it was time for your mother to take her tablets, you watching carefully as she downed them with a cup of water. She retired to the bedroom shortly after, and though she tried to make it seem as though she was solely doing it to give you and Thenerius some privacy, it was obvious she was drained of all energy as she slowly shuffled down the hall.

You ignore Thenerius and grab the plates, taking them to the kitchen to dump the scraps in the bin and be washed. Thenerius’ plate is practically clean already, but your mother’s is concerningly hardly touched at all.

Dunking the emptied plates plates in the half-full sink, you scrub vigorously. Just as you are about to place the first one on the rack to dry, however, Thenerius takes it from you and dries it with the dishtowel.

You decide to say nothing, simply handing him the next plate once he placed the previous one on the rack.

You bring Thenerius a stack of blankets, dumping them on the cot next to where he sat for him to assemble himself.

Just as you turn to leave, a hand falls on your shoulder and you immediately stiffen. It quickly retracts.

“I don’t need this many,” Thenerius says quietly, looking dejected when you look over your shoulder at him as he tries to hand you a few of the blankets back.

“You do,” you inform him, “we’re at a higher altitude. It’s going to get colder.”

Thenerius places them back on the pile, his mouth opening and then closing. You wait. Finally, he clears his throat, “Thank you, for dinner. And for letting me stay here.”

“Thank my mom,” you reply, “and don’t get used to it. I was serious when I said you’re gone tomorrow.”

After a moment, Thenerius smiles, small but hopeful, “not first thing?”

“You have to pay for the meal and bed,” you huff, turning back around and going into the bedroom, careful to be quiet as you cross the cottage so as to not wake your mother.

You make sure the door is shut securely, and for good measure, you stick a piece of paper in the gap between the top of the door and the frame. You don’t think you’ll be able to sleep with the knowledge of a stranger sleeping in the next room, but almost as soon as your head hits the pillow, you’re waking to the sound of the rooster crowing the next morning.

You sit up abruptly, your mother still asleep next to you. You swing your legs over the edge of the mattress and scurry to the door, the paper still in the same spot you placed it when you take it back down.

You open the door quietly and slip out, glancing around the corner at the end of the hall to the cot. On the side closest to you, the stack of blankets are folded neatly, Thenerius’ pack leaning against one of the cot’s legs.

Your eyebrows furrow, going back to make sure the bathroom was empty before checking the kitchen, seeing neither hide nor hair of Thenerius in the cottage. Before you go search outside for the tiefling, you decide to at least get the stove going to warm up the cottage. As you stand in the kitchen looking for the box of matches, you realize you can hear the familiar, rhythmic thumping of an axe hitting wood.

Glancing out the window, you see Thenerius at an old stump splitting firewood a few yards away, his coat off and hanging from a tree branch. He stops to brush his hair back, careful to avoid his horns, before continuing.

Against your better judgement, you study him from the safety of the indoors. The last time you’d seen him, it had been shaved close. He apparently grew it out since then, dark waves forming curls around the nape of his neck that you’d noticed when he first arrived at the deep and now was sticking to his scalp with sweat.

As the sun broke over the horizon and illuminated the clearing, you could see how Thenerius’ back muscles flexed under the fabric of his shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose his thick forearms. Obviously, as a pirate, he would have to be at least somewhat fit. Hell, you’d felt them whenever he would insist you touch his arm while he flexed or would pull you into his lap.

But none of that quite prepared you for how he would look without the barrier of his coat, how he likely looked working out at sea.

You force your eyes back to the task at hand before they can venture downwards, finally finding the matches and lighting one with shaking hands before lighting the scrap of paper and tossing both into the stove.

Shutting the door and opening the grate, you return to the bedroom to change into your day clothes.

You immediately regret stepping outside as soon as you do, the light of the sun doing little to warm the icy air rushing inside your lungs and burning against your skin. Still, you are determined as you march around the cottage to where Thenerius continues to split the pieces of wood, though the pile of wood that took you months to chop down and cut into sections was now nearly gone and a neat stack of his split pieces had taken its place.

“I noticed you were running low,” Thenerius calls out as you approach, smiling as your eyes met his.

“It’s fine,” you huff, Thenerius’ smile brightening as though you just extended him the best praise of his life.

Annoyance bubbled in your stomach. Did he think he was cute? Acting like a love-struck teen and not a Tova-damned pirate? Or did he think you would be tricked by the illusion he put forth if he played pretend enough?

“Hurry up and finish that. There’s more work to do before breakfast,” you mutter, turning towards the barn as he would no doubt be crestfallen as you continue, “Then we’re going to The Deep.”

You go back to the kitchen briefly to grab the scrap bin before going to the chicken coop, making sure to latch the screen door behind you. You drop the scraps at the center of the enclosure, the chickens running over each other in a clucking mass of feathers and beating wings in their attempt to get at the food first. A few even manage to steal a few morsels before the more dominant ones chase them off.

Once the nesting area was empty, you went over and started collecting eggs in the same bin. Only six today, and you cooked the last of them in storage for dinner the night before. You worry your bottom lip, looking at the flock.

There were five hens and the rooster. You had been planning to let them breed in the spring to bring their numbers up, but that was still a long ways away.

You glanced over at the goats, currently in the pasture with the horses. You had two bucks and eight does. You had sold off the kids of four of the does, leaving you with five kids, three males. There was still the cured meat you got from the storehouse the other day, so you wouldn’t have to do anything drastic for food just yet, but it wouldn’t last soon at your current rate.

You had been planning on buying rabbits to raise for meat and fur, but you hadn’t been able to find the time to finish the winter hutch that was still partially completed in the barn.

Then you thought about everything else you had to do soon - castrate the three kids, patch the barn roof, harvest the second pasture’s grass and dry it for hay… and it seemed like every day you found something that needed repairing or replacing.

But… if Thenerius does plan on staying, you just may be able to keep everything afloat for the time being. With him there to collect the eggs and milk the goats while you worked shifts at the deep, then- appalled that you were planning ahead as though you would allow Thenerius to stay for months on end with you. No, you survived the last winter without any help, you could do the same this year.

Letting out a sigh, you dropped the eggs off in the kitchen before going back to the barn to wrap the horses snugly in blankets and let them out to graze in the pasture connected to the barn.

By that point, Thenerius comes to find you. You were admittedly surprised he’d finished that quickly, soaked with sweat and breathing heavily as he told you he was finished. You had even gone to check, not quite able to believe he’d gone through the entire wood pile that fast, or at least correctly. He looked proud when you peer up at him, but you refuse to praise him, directing him instead to the pasture while you grab two pails from the barn.

After showing him how to milk the does, you quickly fill about two pail's worth of milk between you from the four kidless does.

After taking the milk to the small pasteurizer in the barn, you set about making breakfast.

After taking the milk to the small pasteurizer in the barn, you and Thenerius returned to the cottage, your mother already up and standing by the stove.

You waste no time getting breakfast ready, making the six eggs you collected and take out the smoked meat. You make up two plates, setting them down in front of the two.

“I’ll be back soon,” you tell your mother, gripping her shoulder for a moment, “Don’t forget to take your medicine.”

“I’ve been taking it for three years, I don’t need you reminding all the time, you know,” your mother huffed, but she still pressed a kiss to the top of your head and waving you off.

“You aren’t going to eat?” Thenerius asked, thankfully swallowing his mouthful before speaking.

“I ate a couple boiled eggs while I cooked,” you reply, “clean the dishes after you’re done. We’ll go to The Deep afterwards.”

Grabbing your purse and heading to the barn, you click your tongue at the door leading out to the pasture, grabbing his saddle as your horse neighs loudly and nearly trampling over Thenerius’ horse in his attempt to get to you.

Any attempts on your part to name the capricious animal had been in vain, as he only ever responded to the sound of a clicking tongue, what your mother called him over to eat. It explained why he was fatter than a pregnant mare when you got here, unridden and getting fat on the lush pasture to himself and the treats.

Horse, as you’d taken to referring to him in your head, shoved his face into your hands, sticking your entire hand into his mouth in search of treats. You fish out a peeled hard-boiled egg from your pocket, the treat disappearing from your hand before you can even unfurl your fingers, Horse chewing it down quickly. Thenerius’ horse ventures over once she realizes you have food, and you have to press an open palm against Horse’s face to keep him from snatching the second egg you pull out before she can gently take it from you.

“Are those the eggs you ‘ate’?” You jump as Thenerius suddenly appears next to you, and you glare at him for sneaking up at you.

“I need to bribe him to come over and let me saddle him,” you said, neither confirming or denying the tiefling’s accusation, “he’ll be angry the entire ride otherwise.”

“Why didn’t you eat?” Thenerius presses, his eyes never leaving you as you unpin Horse’s blanket and refold it, throwing it over his back before securing his saddle on top.

“There wasn’t enough,” you shrug, climbing onto Horse’s back and pressing your legs momentarily into his side to get him to start walking.

You’re almost to the main road when you hear Thenerius pull up beside you.

“You should have taken mine,” he says after a moment.

You sigh. Clearly, wanting a nice, quiet stroll into town was too much to ask for, “Our horse is fine. He needs the exercise, anyways.”

“Not the horse, the food,” Thenerius said, actually sounding irate with you, “if there wasn’t enough you should have eaten mine.”

You bite back a laugh. You’ve heard Thenerius actually angry before, yelling at his crew members when one shoved another into a table in the tavern and broke it.

He’d been absolutely furious then, scaring even you with how his red eyes burned like hot coals, his face darkening to what you assumed to be an unhealthy purple-blue color as he nearly came to blows with the offenders. That feared pirate captain now reprimanded you like a child.

“Please, it’s one meal,” you snort, “I had plenty while I was working.”

“You shouldn’t skip meals,” he insisted, drawing close to your side to look down at you sternly, “You’re going to still be working the rest of the day after this, aren’t you?”

You roll your eyes and snap your reins, Horse speeding up to a canter and leaving Thenerius behind. The journey was familiar to you both, and you don’t even need to provide the horse with direction as he follows the twists and turns of the winding path with a sure foot.

You just want to hurry and reach The Deep, collect your pay, dump Thenerius on them and then go to Alfore to meet with the doctor about your mother.

You reach The Deep before Thenerius, tying Horse to a post outside the stables and making a beeline inside with barely contained excitement.

When you enter the tavern, Lenora is the only one in. Her welcoming smile quickly shrinks into a sheepish one once she sees you, however, turning on one heel to head straight towards the inn portion of the building.

Your eyes narrow, making a detour from Mr. Thistle’s office to go after her. You had an inkling as to what that was all about, and you couldn’t help but need to confirm it.

Your hand falls onto her shoulder and grips it tight, yanking her back just before she can abscond up the steps.

“Where are you going?” You ask, putting on a pleasant smile for the few patrons at the bar as you steer her down the hall to the privacy of the storage room, once an office.

“Please don’t kill me - he tricked me into telling!” Lenora begged for mercy immediate, clasping both hands in front of her.

“I highly doubt that,” you cross your arms, raising an eyebrow and waiting for her to try again.

Lenora had always been something of a romantic, constantly falling for one sweet gesture after another and declaring someone her ‘soulmate’ every few months. If she caught wind of Thenerius’ proposal, of course she’d think it was fine to play matchmaker. But that didn’t mean you weren’t going to make her sweat to teach her a lesson.

“Ok, but my intentions were good!” She pleaded, shaking your arm, “I mean, he obviously loves you, so I thought if he saw how you were living, you could get him to give you enough money for your mom!”

Your eyes widen, anger draining from your face and replaced with hurt, “so you told a stranger where I live, where my mother lives, so I could get him to feel sorry for me and bankroll my expenses? What else would I do, hm? Let him sleep with me for an allowance?”

Lenora realized her mistake too late, unable to backtrack as you spun around and left the room. You walk straight past Mr. Thistle’s office, too distraught to think about what you came here to do.

You untie Horse and quickly mount him, spurring him to go forward.

“Please don’t be angry! I didn’t mean you would do anything like that, I just wanted to help you-” you snap the reins twice to get Horse to a gallop.

“Are you okay?” You think Thenerius calls out, but you pay him no time as you race past, reaching the main road in no time and heading down the straight path to Alfore.

Your breathing is erratic as you try to get a handle on the unfamiliar emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. Perhaps in the past, you would have acted out in anger, lashed out at Lenora for the insult implied.

Now, however, you’re just tired. Worn out from two years of being back in this shithole, struggling to make ends meet, doing whatever you could. And because of that, your own coworker - someone you thought of as a friend, even - believed you to be so unscrupulous in your need for money that you’d take advantage of someone’s emotions for your own ends.

The worst part is, you were tempted. Tempted to step back. Tempted to let someone else take the reins. Tempted to use Thenerius’ misguided feelings for you to your advantage.

Had this what you’d been reduced to, from academic work to flirting shamelessly with customers to line your pockets? Do things your mother never did even when she was doing the same job, running the homestead, and saving money for you to move to the capital for your schooling?

So, at the end of your rapid-fire cycling through the stages of grief, you have no desire to fight Lenora over her true thoughts about you, nor do you wish to turn on Thenerius for the way he’s crashed into your life. You don’t qualify every action you ever did out of necessity or lay bare the fact that you were actually embarrassed by them. You don’t try to separate yourself from your choices by bringing up your past life or hard work. You simply loathe yourself for it.

Without your constant commands, Horse slows to a trot. You allow it, not wanting him to get hurt because of you. However, you soon regret your decision as you hear hooves charging up to you from behind.

You pull over to the side of the road, praying that whoever it was just passed you by. Of course, you had no such luck, the other horse slowing down next to you and Thenerius looking down at you with a concerned expression.

You say nothing and you don’t bother trying to outrun him, resigned to the fact that you wouldn’t be shaking him anytime soon.

“It wasn’t her fault,” he said once it was clear you weren’t speaking, drawing your sulking expression to point directly at him, “I pressured her to tell me where to find you.”

“Why are you still here?” You ask instead, exasperated and unwilling to have a conversation with him of all people about what happened between you and Lenora.

“I told you, my feelings for you haven’t changed,” Thenerius said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Even if I allow you to stay, it would only be to use you,” you argue, “you could work for months and waste your time if I never change my mind. Doesn’t that make you angry?”

“No,” he replied, a warm smile adorning his face as he looked at you, “because you said if.”

You blink dumbly as he spurs his horse forward, leaving you to catch up.

part 3

#exophilia #monster boyfriend #reader insert #tiefling boyfriend #tiefling

110 notes · View notes

scandeniall · 4 years

Text

no limit to you

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x reader

summary: “Knew right from the start there was no limit to you.” sakusa’s gonna go far and you know it. a look at your relationship throughout some months. (Started out based on Feels by Kehlani but yeah that went left)

warnings: profanity, starts as college students, manga spoilers about career. implied sex, little bit of angst but for like 10 seconds.

wc: 5.4k holy shit this took me all week

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, month 6

“He is the Black Jackals big and promising rookie,” Your heart couldn’t help but swell with pride as the speaker's voice carried across the gym (?). Despite the less theatrical introductions awarded to MSBY you couldn’t help but cheer loudly even yelling out the stupid nickname given to Sakusa by his teammates. One that he insists that he hates. “Go, omi-omi!” To anyone else it’d just look like another stale glance at the speaker, but you didn’t miss the tiniest of smile that graces his face.

It’s his time to shine and you’re by his side to witness it all. — Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Month 3

The sound of rain pounding against the building mixed with the sound of landing volleyballs and squeaking shoes. The men’s volleyball practice is approaching hour 3 and despite Sakusa insisting that you could have just headed back to your apartment you were there anyways. One reason for it was because you knew with him living so close he didn’t drive to campus and despite his tendencies for cleanliness, that’d he’d swallow his pride enough to catch a ride with one of his teammates to avoid the torrential downpour. You figured he’d at least appreciate a ride from you, whose car he knew was relatively clean instead (clean mostly because he always made cleaning and disinfecting your car a “couple activity” every weekend). Another reason was simply because you missed him and was ready to propose getting dinner together. Waiting for him wasn’t a problem anyways, the row of tables overlooking the gym were quite spacious and you utilized the time to get some procrastinated work done. As your small break and time spent switching between the same 3 apps comes to an end you pull up your Snapchat one last time the camera zooming in on sakusa for a few seconds with the caption “a superstar”. You knew Sakusa would frown and scold you for it later (the guy hates being put on stupid Snapchat), but also knew he secretly like when you showed how proud you were. The man was truly destined for greatness and you knew there were no limits to how far he could go. Of course with the relative newness of your relationship, you’ve never told him that. After one last check to make sure the video posts, music flows back into your ears as you began the last hour stretch. “You could’ve gone home you know.” Was the first thing you heard the second the dark haired male sat in the chair in front of you. Plucking your earbuds out all you could do was shrug. “Now is that anyway to greet your cinnamon apple,” you laughed at the displeased look on his face, or more so in his eyes. He must've put his mask on before leaving the locker room. Sakusa was never really one for nicknames and whenever you’d call yourself something from a vine from a thousand years ago he couldn’t hide the scowl on his face.

“All done for the day?” At his nod of assurance you start packing up your bag as Sakusa just watched. He cringed at how you chaotically just packed your papers and laptop into your bag. No folders, or even a ouch for writing utensils. He’d have to get you one. As you finished picking up and fished your keys out of your bag’s pocket you notice Sakusa pull his mask down as he crossed to step in front of you. Placing a quick kiss on your lips, “thank you for waiting.” — Tap. Tap. Tap. Click. Tap. The sounds of scribbling mixed alongside flipped pages and the soft conversations of fellow library goers. The words of the textbook in front of you were beginning to look like gibberish and with that cane even more unconscious fiddling of your pen, a fact not lost on your boyfriend. The sound being so close and frequent broke him out of his own focus bubble. When you insisted the two of you have a study date, you were unsurprisingly met with the excuse of neither of you having the same major. “It doesn’t matter, we can just sit in the library. It’s spending quality time together Kiyoomi,” you’d told him. And it was true, sort of. After you’d finally got into the groove of studying, time seemed to fly and just knowing he was there was comforting enough. “(Y/N). You’re distracting me.” Sakusa was too blunt for his own good sometimes. All you could offer was a mumbled half assed apology, watching as he attempted to focus on his work again. You however? Were done for the time being, deciding to preoccupy yourself with your phone and taking not so sneaky glances at the man sitting in front of you.

“If you paid as much attention to your work as you did me, you’d be doing better in that class.” Maybe he had a point, but who cared. It's not like you were failing the course. Taking another glace up you manage to catch his eye before responding.

“But you're prettier.”

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Month 7

You felt the dip in the bed first. A warm hand resting softly on your back next. Finally your favorite person’s voice. “You're coming to the game right.” You were so tired that you couldn't even be bothered to turn and face the voice.

“Of course. First home game in a while,” you hum out, eyes still closed basking in the softness of the blanket. The weather had been terrible for the past week, completely draining any energy and remaining motivation you had to finish the rest of the semester. Sakusa, on the other hand, had seemingly been unaffected and you envied his tunnel vision like nature. “I can’t wait to see you win y’know.” Sakusa thanked his lucky stars, that your eyes were still closed, because if not you may have seen the red that dusted the tops of his ears. You could hear the sound of hangars knocking in the closet before inquiring about the noise.

“You don’t have a clean jersey for tomorrow’s game right.” He knew that you had a general school fan jersey, but he meant something more specific. One with his number on the back.

“Nothing is guaranteed. The other team is pretty good too.”

“Yeah well, you're better.” --

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 1 If you heard one last critiquing remark from your boyfriend you were going to scream. Or kill him, which currently sounded like the better option. It started with him telling you your kitchen smelled weird, the food cooked hours earlier obviously not Sakusa approved. Next came him cringing as he inquired when was the last time you or roommate had vacuumed the living room. Then came his annoyed look when he noticed your skincare products all over the bathroom counter because you had to rush out this morning. The last straw came as he said something about you getting germs all over your face as you dug the palms of your hands into your eyes. While that one had some validity you were fucking tired. School was sucking, your coworkers are annoying and your boyfriend is a fucking dick. “Can you not try to not be a germaphobe asshole for two seconds, Sakusa,” you exclaim, not even bothering to face him from your spot at your desk. “Do better with cleaning then.”

“What are you, my dad.”

“If I were, you’d know how to clean up properly.”

It was official. Sakusa, Kiyoomi fucking sucks. The tension in the air had grown. Between your pissed stress related retorts and sakusa’s stupid passive aggressive insults the two of you had navigated far away from just arguing about germs. You’d both begun bringing up past situations and feelings that you’d both previously kept buried.

“Half the time I don’t even know if you fucking like me.” That was a lie. He cared and you knew it. But former insecurities paired with his generally aloof nature whenever the two of you were in public caused you to mention it. Insecurties concerning how he was on his way to something great, and that he’d leave you behind with a stupid college degree that you didn’t even know how you were going to use. You’d long abandoned your desk chair, opting to pace around the room. If his eyes were knives, you’d be long dead with the way he was glaring. You hadn’t noticed, but Sakusa even pulled his mask down to engage in this argument.

“Well thats just stupid. But since you're bringing it up, do you even like me,” Sakusa sneered causing you to stop in place.“You’re going out an awful lot these days. Partying more than you used to, aren’t you.” Your state of disbelief hadn’t been lost on him, in fact you looked as if you were going to start laughing at any moment. The way he condescendingly spoke your name sent chills down your spine. “Can’t help but wonder what you’re doing.”

“Oh so now I’m cheating-.”

“I’m just pointing out what I’ve noticed.” He’d hit the realization that he messed up the second the insinuation left his lips. However, he was too far in and so were you. He’d have to make it up to you later, he began to think. Until your humourless laugh filled the air, striking a cord in him, bigger than you’d ever done. This entire night you’d been a ticking time bomb, and were ready to explode.

“Now why the fuck, would I put up with you if I didn’t love you. A year of my life just wasted huh.” The revelation of your love causes Sakusa to pause. Of course the two of you loved one another. It was shown in the little actions. But, until now neither of you had ever uttered the three words to one another.

“(Y/N-)”

“Newsflash, Kiyoomi, you're not an easy person to love. You nag me about shit that only bothers you, and I put up with it. I can’t even come around you with mismatched socks”

“You never want to go out to any kind of party with me and I want you there, yet I’m always willing to go out when you have to with the team.”

“You barely even show that you like me in public. I’ve had friends ask me are we even really dating.”

The end of your rant was accompanied by silence on both of your ends. You were drained. Your throat hurt and your eyes stung. But more importantly your heart ached. Despite the tears building at the back of your eyes you were not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. Sakusa on the other hand was deep in thought. The tug on his heartstrings at your admittance was foreign. He didn’t want to say anything to further upset you, and had gotten to know you enough to know you’d want to be alone after a time like this.

The hand that grabbed yours almost felt foreign as Sakusa led you towards your bed. The already long day ending with a quick kiss against your temple, a promise to see you later, and an aching heart.

“Did you and Sakusa- like break up or something,” your friend inquired. It's been 9 days since you’d last heard from Sakusa, and your mopey mood hadn’t gone unnoticed by your friends. On top of you being unusually downcast they noticed that you hadn’t attended the most recent match. You always went to home games. You already had to deal with the aftermath of your roommate being home and hearing your argument that night, you hadn’t exactly been that quiet during the ordeal.

The next morning marked the start of the weekend, which you’d spent a large part of the day in bed. In the middle of you bothering to fix dinner, your roommate had come home interrupting your pity party. You liked your roommate, you did and the two of you were friendly. But the two of you definitely were not best friends and for them to come home and see you for the first time post argument- awkward.

“Yo- (Y/N), did you hear me? You and Sakusa break up or something,” your friend repeated, breaking you out of your wandering thoughts. “Or something,” you muttered bitterly. The lunch in front of you suddenly looked unappealing. The melting ice cubes floating in your drink taking away your attention.

Just as you began to take your mind off Sakusa in preparation to try and have a relatively normal weekend, your friend just had to bring him up. You loved her, but she was a dumbass for that one. Your entire car ride home you turned on your breakup playlist one you’d made during the demise of your last relationship back in highschool. Something about Miley Cyrus’ 7 Things felt more relatable than ever now that you were older.

Entering your apartment, you waved a greeting to your roommate who looked strangely happy. “Oh (Y/N), you’ve got a gift.” Ok- why the hell was she so cheery about a gift to you. Eying her suspiciously, your roommate pointed past you and your eyes widened.

“Who-”

“Who do you think? Dropped them off a little over an hour ago. Looked disappointed when he realized you weren’t here.”

You half mumbled something kin of appreciation for telling you as you walked toward the kitchen table to see a bouquet of roses, and a card with neatly scribbled handwriting you recognized immediately.

“One rose for every month of putting up with me being a germophobic asshole. Google also said roses meant love. Hope you like them.

P.s: i missed you at the game (and in general)”

14 roses. He even included the two months where you teetered the line between friends and partners. You couldn’t help but laugh at his use of your word choice to describe him. You hadn’t even noticed your roommate peering over your shoulder until she spoke. “He means well. You two should work it out.” If you weren’t planning to before you sure as hell were going to now. “Yeah,” you mused. “You're right.

The gears in your head were absolutely turning, thinking about how you’d reach back out to Sakusa. Obviously he’d been the bigger person and made the first contact, and yeah he was definitely being a jerk that night, but so were you. You were so caught in your own thoughts as you made your way down the short hallway to your room that you hadn’t even noticed the slight rustling. Opening your door you were met with an even bigger surprise.

Sakusa. In your room, gloved up, vacuum out-He was cleaning? Your room?. Your brain short circuits as you were at a loss for words.

“Kiyoomi?” The sound of your roommate teasing telling you two to keep it down went beyond your span of comprehension as you just stood in the doorway. “You should close the door.

---

After you got past the initial shock of seeing Sakusa, he’d taken his gloves off and sat on your bed wordlessly patting the spot next to him. After a brief moment of silence you were the first one to speak. Afterall, he did take the first step at mending your relationship. Now it's your turn. “I’m sorry Kiyoomi. For snapping at you, questioning how you felt when I knew better. I was a bitch for that one.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. I knew how stressed you were already and made it worse. I know how you get when you're upset, and came to straighten up for you.”

“Thanks for that one. I’ll admit, it was starting to bother me too.” A silence filled the air as you shifted closer. Enough so that you could rest your head on his shoulder.

“I know you’re not cheating on me-“

“Wow, how did you figure that out. You are SO smart,” you faked gasped. The teasing comment released any lingering tension between you and before you knew it Sakusa had his normal frowny face at you. The one he tended to get when you jokingly teased or annoyed him. One, never meant with any malice. A softer one reserved just for you. The moment passed quickly and as you removed your head from his shoulder you eyed him seriously. “I wouldn't do that Yoomi. You know that right?”

The thought of him even thinking you’d ever cheat on him didn’t sit right with you. In fact, it had been the main reason you were upset. You could work past anything else said. But that one? You needed to acknowledge it. Your question had been answered when you felt a hand gently rest on the side of your neck pulling you gently towards him. You were so close that you could feel the move of his lips as he reaffirmed what was already known. “I love you too (Y/N). The universe seemed to stop as Sakusa's lips moved softly against yours. you had moved your lingering hand to wrap around the wrist touching you, rubbing gentle circles on his inner wrist. A hold that unconsciously tightens as you felt his tongue languidly slip into your mouth and explore.This kiss was different than any you’d ever shared before. Different from the quick kisses shared when you’d two part ways at the end of dates. Different than the domineering good luck kisses given in quiet hallways outside the locker room before games. Than the tired kisses he’d reluctantly give because your tired whining grated his nerves. Hell, even different than the kisses shared the first time you two had sex. Those were just awkward. This kiss? Was loving. You two loved one another. Those feelings had been made more than clear to the other person. The universe always told you that falling in love too fast and too young would end in disaster. But you’d risk that if you could feel like this everyday.

The need for air forced the two of you to pull away. In that time Sakusa had shifted the two of you so that he was resting against the headboard of your bed, your knees resting on the side of his knees. One hand on your thigh, other resting on your back. He looked so pretty like that. Puffy lips, heavily breathing, and with so much love for you. There was no doubt you looked the same. The rest of his forehead on your shoulder allowed you to gently play with his hair.

“I’ll work on the other things too. But don’t expect me to take care of your drunk ass every weekend.”

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 1, Month 10

“How’s it going Mr MVP.” You pushed your body off the chilled brick, as you eyed your boyfriend up and down. He looked good, really good. He’d just finished the last game of his collegiate career, one that had been won. Not only that, but he had been named MVP and a rookie to look out for going into Division 1 post graduation.

You shifted your hands towards his face but before you could even rest them near you he stopped you with a mini hand sanitizer dangling in your face. “I’m sure you touched that brick while waiting.” After your hands were as sanitized as they could be, you hovered your hands over the corner of his mask, silently asking for permission to lower it. Once you got the go ahead, and felt his hands resting on your hips you pulled him down for a sweet kiss. After pulling away you left your hands wrapped around his neck and began playing with the hairs at the back of his neck.

“You’re a fucking superstar Yoomi. You’re gonna go so far.” You revealed the thoughts that had been in the back of your mind since you met him. And it was true. You knew he’d been looking at a few professional teams, and no matter where he’d go the sky was the limit.

“Now c’mon. It’s party time babe. Last college win celebration,” you cheered pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, and pulling his mask back out. You followed up by reaching into the pocket of his track jacket to pull out his car key. He kept true with his promise of getting better. Still hated unnecessary crowds, but was willing to sacrifice it occasionally to accompany you to celebratory parties. Granted he tended to hang out on less populated hallways, even better when parties continued outside. More space to move. The mask also stayed on. College kids are gross.

—-

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you noticed your boyfriend move from his spot on the couch. The two of you had decided on a lazy movie night before the official finals grind began. Dead week was nearly here, and you knew the two of you would have little time to actually hang out. With the end of volleyball season, you’d been spending more time at Sakusa’s place deciding to just head there after class because it was closer. “Yoomi where are you going,” the wording came out more needed than you intended. You didn’t receive an answer, instead met with him disappearing in his room. You decided to just pause the movie, pulling out your phone to reply to a few text messages. Just as you hit send a Manila envelope was placed in your peripheral and Sakusa settled back into his corner of the couch.

“What’s this,” you questioned, shifting so that you were looking at Sakusa. The only thing you were gifted with was a shrug and a motion to open the envelope. You hesitated a moment before your eyes widened

“Wait. Kiyoomi is this…”. The confident smirk told you everything you needed to know. This was it. There was no secret that Sakusa was most likely going to go pro after graduation, but no one knew what team he’d end up playing for. He’d had many people; Professors, coaches,teammates, acquaintances, parents ask what he planned on doing now that graduation was essentially on your doorsteps. No one ever got an answer out of him, including you. He hadn’t even hinted at any team preference to you, brushing it off and changing the subject whenever you tried to see where his head was.

“Are you gonna open it or just stare.” You noted the slight waver in his voice, one that would have gone unnoticed to any ear untrained in the study of Sakusa Kiyoomi. You didn’t even know why you were so nervous, it wasn’t even your career. Taking a deep breath you pulled out the stack of papers, eyes drifting to the first paragraph mumbling the words aloud.

“We are excited to have you. We welcome your commitment to MSBY Black Jackals-“ you would have dropped the stack of papers had you not had them tugged out of your tight grip and placed on the table in front of you. “Holy shit,” you exclaimed, launching yourself at your boyfriend (uncomfortably knocking him against the corner of the couch, but he’d let you have this moment.)

Next you started babbling about how proud you were of him in between kisses all over his face. (Another thing he’d let you have for the moment despite the feel of your lip balm also sticking onto his face”). You were so happy for him, that you didn’t even notice the blush making its way on his face. His hand settling themselves on your waist, he basked in the attention from you.

When the shock managed to wear off, you had settled yourself into his lap. Sitting sideways, you had one hand playing with his hair, the other picking up your phone to record a video.

“And today, we have the greatest volleyball player in the world commuting to the greatest team in the world,” you beamed the front camera on you both.

“Look at that future (Y/N), Yoomi isn’t even swatting the camera away tonight. Looks like he looooooves me for once-“

“I always love you. You’re just annoying sometimes.” The jest was meant with a light kiss on your clothed shoulder before you continued, this time facing Sakusa instead of the camera

“Y’know. I knew right from the start there was no limit to you,” you spoke softly, eyes beaming.

“Is that so.” A real smile graced his face, as you moved the hand previously playing with his hair to gently trace over the moles on his face. “Thank you for believing.” You felt Sakusa take your phone from you cutting the camera. What took place after, definitely didn’t need to be caught on camera.

—

The sun is beaming. The weather is incredible . You were high on happiness, adrenaline, pride and maybe a little bit of caffeine as you currently posed for what felt like your millionth picture in the past 5 minutes. You hadn’t even found your family yet, surrounded by 100s of your peers all celebrating the same accomplishment. You did it. You were a college graduate. You had a degree. You felt another tap on your shoulder, as you happily screamed to your friend you’d made being in the same program.

“Dude I can't believe it!”

“Dude me either!” As the two of you took a quick selfie, your mind wandered to where and how Sakusa was doing. You hadn't seen him at all yet considering you both spent the mornings with your families who came into town. You wondered how he was doing with this whole thing. There were a shit ton of people out here after all. Before you could dwell on it, you felt your phone vibrate with none other than the man himself. You chuckled, already sending his irritation through the message as he told you to come to walk west, at the very edge of the crowd that was growing by the minute in the center. You sent a quick text to your mom about where you’d be, knowing your family were going to want a ton of pictures even with Sakusa.

Your excitement grew further if even possible as you finally found him, throwing your arms around his neck into a tight hug, swaying the both of you. “We did it, Sakusa,” you said, finally pulling away and eying him. He’d taken his cap off already, opting for holding it instead, and having unzipped his gown.

“We have degrees now,” he confirmed using his free hand to grab yours. “It’s too many people here.” All you could do was laugh as you eyed the control chaos going on just across the courtyard from you. You felt an odd sense of peace, just watching. The flowers planted just for graduation season even looked beautiful. Something you may not have paid nearly as much attention to had you not been dating Sakusa.

In fact, if you weren’t dating him you knew you’d be in the middle of the chaos right now. Still happy no doubt, but being able to get away from it even for a few minutes felt amazing. You’d both be thrown back into it in a matter of minutes, squeezing in the last set of pictures with best friends and holding conversations with people you’d have to get used to not seeing several times a week. You knew that Sakusa was almost guaranteed to be forced into a picture with the other graduating volleyball players.

“My families heading over I’m sure,” you hummed bringing your eyes back to Sakusa's profile. The look on his face slightly confuses you. You couldn’t quite tell if it were nerves, irritation, or just a result of squinting from the bright sun.

“We’re gonna have to head back in soon”

“Do you want to move in with me”

The two of you spoke simultaneously. It was official. This is one of the best days of your life.

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, Month 4

“I’m gonna start dinner alright,” you called out as you pulled on one of Sakusa’s clean practice shirts and a pair of his old college sweats. Yes they were big,but they were more comfy than your own. Besides it was nothing a little, (read;a lot) of rolling and cuffing couldn’t fix. It was also his time of the month where you let him control the thermostat, and you’re cold! You’d just gotten out of the shower, him getting in shortly after coming home from a training day. The gym showers only do so much and he needed his own body wash is what he insisted the first time he came home and rushed immediately towards the bathroom.

You pulled out the sheet of paper with a recipe printed on it, courtesy of your co-worker. Earlier in the week you mentioned how you were craving chicken but no other recipe in your arsenal seemed appealing. Lo and behold you were given a sheet of paper with a recipe that apparently his family loved after experimenting with a few online recipes.

Before beginning you connect your phone to your speaker hitting shuffle. You manage to get all the ingredients out before a large knock sounds at your door. Confused, you yell out asking Sakusa if he was expecting anyone. You noticed the sounds of the shower ceased a few minutes ago, and that Sakusa would likely come to keep you company (more like sanitize the spice bottles the second you put one down.)

“Of course not,” with a shrug your wash your hands before gently opening the door. There’s a man. An attractive one- who looks oddly familiar. Wait, that guy is on Black Jackals, you note. Miya, Atsumu.

“Um hi,” you greet sounding more like a question, opening the door a bit wider.

“Shit! Did I come to the wrong apartment? I'm looking for Omi-Omi,” you noticed him trail off eyeing the shirt you were wearing. Omi-Omi? Sakusa must’ve heard him because the way he sprinted into the living room showed a scowl evident on his face. It even caused you to back up as Atsumu entered in.

“Why are you here. And how did you find where I live,” sakusa for right to the point.

“Aw c’mon Omi-Omi what if I missed ya. You left your earbuds in the locker room. Turned on you find my friends and matched the mailbox.” The glare on Sakusa’s face was one you recognized only when you genuinely irritated him. Not the one where he pretended to be annoyed but secretly wasn’t.

“But enough about that. How come you didn’t tell me you were dating. I thought we were friends. Omi-Omi,” Atsumu whined out arms crossing over his chest. As you were looking at his arms/ respectfully/ you jumped in a teasing pout of your own.

“Yeah Omi-Omi. Not telling your friends about me. A shame”

“Not you too.”

—

Dating Sakusa Kiyoomi: Year 2, Month 6

“You excited,” your question causes another wave of conversation between the men in the pre waiting area. Warmups were set to start in about 20 minutes. Shortly after you met Atsumu, he’d insisted you be introduced to the entire team. Afterall, other significant others got to hang out sometimes. Today was the day. Sakusa’s biggest match of his professional career yet. MSBY Black Jackals V Schweiden Adlers.

Receiving a mix of enthusiastic expletives, you turn towards your boyfriend who has yet to answer, prompting you to tease asking if he were nervous.

“No. We’re going to win,”

“That's the spirit Omi-Omi! Gonna beat Wakatoshi this time,” This time you bit back your laugh, smirking at the Miya twin’s jest. You loved getting able to take a break from being annoying. Sakusa, as per usual, noticed it. Getting up he motioned, that you follow him outside, ignoring the teases of getting a good luck kiss.

The minute you two rounded the corner of the hallway, a warm hand enveloped yours. Your confused look prompts your boyfriend to cage you against the corner of the wall. His unoccupied hand resting against the side of your head.”

“I am excited.” While his expression remained unchanged, The look in his eyes said it all. It was the same twinkle he showed that time you two made up after admitting your love. And the one present after revealing his commitment to MSBY to you. “And you are going to win,” your reiteration caused a soft smile to catch his face.

“Here's to you and your first major game Kiyoomi. And to many more because you're a star. Now go win.”

a/n: well this has been a roller coaster. I challenged myself to write 5k words, and 95% of this was written at like 3am bc thats when i go to sleep. I also did this to try and gain a feel for him so i can finish his part in good & the bad series. I really do be hoping this aint too ooc, bc while im caught up on the happenings of the manga from spoilers and twitter, i haven't actually gotten around to reading that far myself. also sorry for shitty formatting, ive never actually written a single body with this many words in a singular part ??? also i didnt edit this past google doc feature sooooo

anyways i did work hard and on this for the past week in between finals as a college junior so any comments and feedback are appreciated

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq imagines #sakusa x reader #haikyuu imagine #sakusa imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons

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lunaleetarot · 3 years

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Taurus 2021 Year Ahead Birthday Spread

Starting from the top clockwise, theme in the middle.

1. April 2021- Six of Wands

This April, you will have a lot of success. You have victories in all of your endeavors. You will receive recognition for your hard work. All the efforts you’ve been putting in this year will finally begin to pay off. This month you will begin to bask in glory. You may be looked up to as an authority. Your newfound success will make you a sort of celebrity or expert in your field. However be mindful not to let your pride get in the way when dealing with others. You may be dealing with a Leo a lot this month.

2. May 2021- The Tower

In May, you will enter a period of destruction. What you previously held as accurate will be challenged. It will feel as though everything is falling apart. Instead of May flowers, a rough road is ahead for you, Taurus. This breakdown will be a life-changing one. Bankruptcy, divorce, death, infidelity or serious illness can all go hand in hand with this card. Once all is lost, you will need to work hard to rebuild your life. This event will seem like it’s coming out of nowhere. This won’t be something you were expecting. For others, this may represent a time where your attitude will shock and surprise others. Perhaps you will have a drastic change in your point of view or you will start to cut others out of your life dramatically. Be careful not to be rebellious just for the sake of it. Non-conformity has it’s time and place. This card can also predict house floods and fires so be extra cautious with your fire safety. Although this will be far from a pleasant month for you, there is always hope for a better tomorrow. You will rebuild your life and grow stronger, Taurus.

3. June 2021- Five of Pentacles

As the sun begins to shine in June, you may be facing poverty or some tough financial times. Perhaps you're still recovering from the tower card outcome in May? If you're not money savvy you should speak to someone who can help you with your financial affairs. Do so before you get to the point where all is lost. Pay extra close attention to your health this month, make or keep any doctor appointments you have for this card is associated with illness and poor health. Keep Covid-19 in mind, consider getting vaccinated if you haven’t already. Although you will have some troubles in your life, your personal relationships will grow stronger from this strife. This challenging time will bring you closer to the people who truly care about you.

4. July 2021- Four of Cups

Boredom is ahead for you in July. As 4th of July fireworks fly, you may find yourself discontent with your life or current situation. Perhaps you are still dealing with the fall out from the tower card from May? The excitement in your life has fizzled out, you may feel like you're losing interest in your hobbies. You're going to have to do something to change the way you're feeling and get out of this rut. Spice things up, Taurus. If you have the means go on a vacation or take a day trip. Do not allow yourself to fall into a pattern of procrastination. Be mindful that boredom can lead to affairs, so if you’re in a committed relationship keep this in check. You may feel like you're suffering from a mid or quarter life crisis. Avoid coveting what other people have, especially on social media. Don’t waste time desiring things that aren’t meant for you. Count your blessings and be grateful for what you do have. You may be dealing with a Cancer this month. The 11th-18th of this month may be significant for you.

5. August 2021- Eight of Pentacles

This is a card of mastery. You will soon be recognized as a master of your craft. I feel you have taken those ill feelings with the four cups last month and honed in on a skill. This is often a card of apprenticeships. What you have previously done as a hobby is now something you're making cash on. You may even be able to make a full time living at it, or at least close to it. You're leaving the rat race for greener pastures. You’ve spent July thinking over what you want and now in August you're working towards it. You may find teaching your hobby to others is a lucrative career path. This may mean furthering your education or looking for jobs in that field. However don’t become too dictatorial in how you go about things. Don’t waste time bragging to others. You may be dealing with a Virgo this month. The 26th-31st may be significant for you.

6. September 2021- Six of Cups

The past may resurface for you this month. If you're wondering if your ex could be coming back, the answer is yes. If this is something you long for, this will be a positive thing. However I don’t think this will ring true for every Taurus. This card can also mean you will expand your family. Old memories will resurface from your own childhood, making you yearn for a child or more children. You may visit back into the house you grew up in or visit your hometown. This is a neutral card, but just be weary of old dramas coming back to haunt you. Don’t neglect the things or people you love, for they can leave or fade away.

7. October 2021- Justice

You may be dealing with the law and legality as we move into the spooky month of October. You may find yourself at the center of a court case. This doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong, but if you have broken the law I would be worried here. It could also mean your signing contracts or a lease for a new home or new job. Just be sure to read the fine print! Try to steer clear of any actions which are unethical or dishonest. You will get caught and have to face the consequences. With the Tower card in May, I feel this is most likely the case. Whatever you did in the Spring may finally be catching up to you now. Life can be unfair sometimes, and if you're waiting for justice you're going to need patience. You may be dealing with a Libra here. I feel the first half of the month will be very eventful for you.

8. November 2021- Nine of Cups

In November, you will finally start to see some wish fulfillment. This card often goes hand in hand with engagements and marriage. If committed your relationship will go the extra mile this month. You can be sure you’ve made sound investments with your time and money. Business plans will work out. Keep in mind getting what you want is half the struggle, you have to maintain it to sustain it. Good things come to those who work for it. Don’t overindulge without thinking of your future. Aim for a more balanced lifestyle. You may be dealing with a Pisces here.

9. December 2021- Three of Pentacles

Developing yourself will be your main concern this December. You may be looking into an apprenticeship or finishing the one mentioned above for the month of August. You're putting your god given talents to good use this month. Because you have natural talent, your skills won’t go unnoticed by those who matter. This will pay off, but you’ll need to push a little bit harder to get there. Don’t become too arrogant, just because you're good at something doesn’t mean there aren’t others who may know better. If others become jealous of you don’t resort to pettiness, just keep doing you.

10. January 2022- Ace of Cups

Pure and innocent love is coming to you at the start of 2021. This could mean the beginning of a new relationship. If that is the case then your love life will be of the utmost importance to you. However this card also represents childbirth and pregnancy. If it’s impossible you could conceive a child it could be someone close to you. With this card it’s likely the baby will be a girl! With the Ace of Cups you will have a brand new beginning, but it’s likely to come after a tragic ending. I feel that’s coming from the tower and justice card we’ve seen earlier in your year. Make time for friends this month, go out for drinks or dinner dates more often.

11. February 2022- Seven of Cups

As cupid strikes his bow in February, you will be faced with big decisions. Not only will you have lots of choices, but each will be valid. To complicate matters, most of these options are on a time frame. If you don’t act fast enough you will go from having many choices to none. This may be even more complicated for you because as a Taurus you don’t like to rush into things easily. It’s likely you're facing the opinions of others while you're trying to decide what’s best for you. Not everyone will have your best interest at heart, and you should keep that in mind as you're getting advice from others. Ask yourself if the people around you have their own agenda. This card is a neutral one. It’s not telling you what to decide, just that the decision needs to be made. This may make you overwhelmed and confused. You're going to need to work on your decision making skills. You may be dealing with a Scorpio here.

12. March 2022- Ace of Pentacles

As we move into March, you will begin to see the first signs of success. This is a message from the universe that lady luck is on your side for the time being. With St. Patrick’s around the corner, you’ll have the luck of the Irish on your side! The hard work you put in previously is beginning to show now. Perhaps you will receive your first paycheck from a new job or after a promotion. This won’t be some huge pay out, but the first initial signs of success. You have the foundation to build on great things if you're willing to put the work in. You may receive a gift of gold jewelry or an inheritance of some sort. Not a bad way to end your year, Taurus.

13. Theme of the Year- Three of Wands

Teamwork and opportunity are the main theme of this card, and I feel it will be for your year ahead too. Your lucky break could be many things, even something as simple as landing a romantic interest you’ve been crushing on. This year you will be presented with new work or business ventures. This is a card of trade and commerce. The trade you're involved in this year will likely expand beyond your local region, and move internationally. Perhaps you're expanding to an online platform. You may find yourself traveling for your job as well. Don’t be afraid to look for unfamiliar terrain for business opportunities. You don’t have to go with the same old same old methods you're used to. I feel this is especially important to note because as a Taurus you tend to stick to a routine and what you know works. You're going to need to cooperate with others and work as a team to achieve your goals this year. Another important fact to note since a lot of Taurus people like to work alone. In April and September you may be at the start of a promising romantic relationship. It will just be the beginning phases but there are signs of growth here. You may also have some minor grievances with the people in your life this year, try not to act rash or let them get the best of you. Keep your own actions under control, as we all know how the bull can get! In the Winter of 2022, you will be making purchases and small investments. New things will be coming into your life, and you may see financial increases. You may be moving into a new home at this time, or at least buying new furniture or renovating. You may need to invest in a new computer or smartphone, you will likely feel this is a big purchase but it will be worth it in the long run.

#taurus #taurus season #earth signs #astrology #zodiac #tarot #tarot spread #luna lee tarot #happy birthday #birthday spread

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thisismyhell · 4 years

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Bodyguard (Part 2)

Summary: Reader works with the Avengers as a research Biologist, and receives a worrying text from a toxic ex boyfriend. Loki enlists himself in watching out for reader, and fluff ensues.

Words: 3235

Warnings: mentions of toxic ex / fluff / alcohol

________________________

When you awoke from your restless sleep, you made your way into the kitchen that poured into the common area. From down the hall you could hear some sort of commotion, though it was hard to tell if it was based in anger or passion. As you rounded the corner, everyone abruptly became silent.

You went to relieve the tension, “morning…”.

Tony looked at you wide eyed. “Why didn’t you tell us! Not that we’re caught off guard of course, but it would have been good to know!”

“What are you talking about?”

Loki chimed in, his eyes gentle, “I may have mentioned to the team that you were having a problem with your ex. And they may have made the point that you shouldn’t feel unsafe on the compound.”

Ahh. So that was it.

“Listen, not that my ex is anyone’s business, but I think I’ll be fine. What were you even yelling about anyway? There’s nothing more to this than a text message”.

Bucky looked at you a tad surprised, “Doll, the guy said he’d meet you here on the compound. That doesn’t nauseate you at all?”

You thought about what he said, and the team could see you go from nonchalant about your situation to looking sick. “Oh fuck, you don’t think he’d actually try to get in here? I mean, we have security. And you’re the Avengers for god’s sake. He can’t just waltz in here as he pleases … can he?"

Loki made his way over to you, taking your hand and moving you to the couch where you both sat down. “Love, there is no realistic way for this man, or any man, to gain access to our property without us knowing about it. We were talking about maybe putting a system in place where someone is always with you, so that you do not have to repeat that uncertainty you had last night in the research building”.

You considered what your friend was saying, and looked up to see the rest of your friends and colleagues seeming more concerned than usual. It seemed a domestic interference warranted more creased eyebrows than an alien invasion.

“I hear what you’re saying. To be fair what scared me last night was you, Loki, but I appreciate the sentiment. Maybe you guys are right. But the last thing I want is for all my friends to see me as some helpless person who can’t defend themselves.”

“(Y/N), everyone in this room knows that you could kick our asses any day of the week. We just want to put your mind at ease while this issue passes”, Steve made a good point.

“I mean, it would be nice to have someone around during those late nights in the library. Maybe this could be useful. This might just help me get over some procrastination. Alright, I’m in. I’m not happy that this is how I’m getting more one on one time with my friends, but I’ll take it”.

The room was thankful, and you all embraced. What could go wrong?

~~~

“(Y/N)? ARE YOU SURE YOU NEED THIS BOOK FROM ALL THE WAY UP HERE?”

Bucky was getting on your last nerve. You weren’t sure what was so difficult for the man to understand. You told him that you need this book, somehow he knew where it physically was in the library, but didn’t listen to you when you clarified that there was also a free PDF online. It didn’t even register in Bucky’s brain what you had said, the man probably didn’t know what a PDF was. But there you were, staring up at him while he balanced at the very top of a 13 foot ladder. In his left hand was the book, and in the right, he was failing to hold the ladder.

~~~

“I’m going to need a new research partner. I broke this one” you explained to everyone while you all stood around Bucky watching Sam sign his cast.

You looked at Loki, who seemed to be stifling a laugh. “The Winter Soldier seems to have an issue with having arms. James, you only have 1 flesh arm, one. And you have broken it. What are the odds there exactly?”

“Not sure but I know the odds of me kicking your ass are getting higher every second we sit here”. Bucky turned to you, “Doll, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that book. I know you had something like a PDF or whatever, but I also know you like the smell of books so I thought maybe I could get that one down for you. Guess not”.

You smiled at him, why did he know about that? You must have mentioned it without thought at some point. You glanced at Loki, who was looking uncomfortable. You sent him a questioning look, and he spoke.

“Darling, I think it would be best if I were to help you this time. I understand we were going in a circle to divvy up each others time, but I am enlisting myself as your next companion”. Hm. Well, you couldn’t complain. This was his idea anyhow, and he seems to want to prove himself, to you? To the team? You weren’t sure, but his attitude is coming off quite persistent.

“Sounds good to me. But I can’t wait around, I have a proposal I need to finish by midnight tonight and thanks to this broken arm, I’m about 7 pages behind schedule. Meet me in the library in a half hour. And bring snacks. I work until I’m done”.

“As you wish”. And with that you went back to the research building, leaving Loki with the rest.

“Well, you think you can handle that, Loki?” asked Sam.

“I always manage”.

You went back to your office to gather some more paperwork and stationary before heading to the library. You looked in the bottom drawer of your desk looking for a book, when you found a bottle of red wine you forgot you had been saving. You had bought the bottle ages ago when your thesis was approved, and were saving it for after you submitted the finished paper. Since you made a big deal about finishing it by midnight now, you tucked it under your arm.

Entering the library you found Loki already sitting comfortably, with an array of snacks on the table in front of him. “You’re late”, he said with a smirk.

“You’re early”. You put down your stuff, and sat at your desk. He looked puzzled, glancing at the spot next to him. “Loki, I know you. If I even try to work beside you I know I will get next to nothing done. And don’t pout”. He smirked again, getting more comfortable. “As you wish”.

You crossed your legs, pushed up your glasses, and gained focus. You had 7 pages of information to concisely interpret. You could do this. You could totally do this super important task with an incredibly handsome and distracting audience. You looked over at him, and he looked back up at you, smiling. “Can you shut up? I’m trying to concentrate here”.

“(Y/N), I haven’t said a word”.

“I know, it’s just. I don’t know. I’m not use to working with others around.”

“What about Bucky?”

“That was different-“

“Why?”

“No – its not different its just, I’m just- I’m putting my headphones on”. You reached for them, but they weren’t on your desk. Dammit, where were they? You began to scramble, when in the corner of your eye you saw them. In Loki’s hand. You begrudgingly walked over, and he held out your headphones to you. You reached out for them, and at the last second he pulled his arm back. Causing you to fall on top of him.

“LOKI!”

“Pet, I apologize but you’re going to have to loosen up. You won’t be able to get any work done if you’re so distracted and uncomfortable”.

“I’m distracted because I have a friend here with me who just tricked me into tripping all over him”.

“I apologize. But is there anything I can do to help you focus?”

You could think of a couple things.

“I have an idea”.

“Anything, love”.

“Why don’t you put on my headphones, that way I won’t feel weird talking to myself while I work”.

“Sure, just tell me how they work”.

After teaching Loki how Bluetooth works, you began to relax and get some work done.

You walked over to get a handful of pretzels that he had brought for the two of you, remembering just how excited you were to pop open that bottle of wine you were keeping from him. If he knew you were holding out on him like this, there would be hell to pay.

Loki looked over at you, and noticed how well you were working. Usually you would notice him out of the corner of your eye and look over to smile at him, but it seemed like you were so deep in focus that you had tunnel vision for the remainder of your paper. You were talking to yourself, though he had no idea what about. He realized just how nice it was to watch someone work, you especially. You had a knack for blowing loose strands of hair from your face without much effort. Squeezing your nose to push your glasses back up so you didn’t have to stop typing or highlighting. He found you mesmerizing, and you seemed to be clueless to it. he didn’t mind. He got to watch you work without distracting you, and you got to finish your work without feeling uncomfortable. It was a win-win.

You were almost done your paper. Somehow, Loki brought a sense of calm to your efforts. Sitting pleasantly nearby, sort of as a guard for your peripheral. You were glad Bucky hadn’t worked out like this. You felt somewhat guilty that you had started this train off with someone other than Loki. Since it was his idea in the first place, and he was the one who was with you to calm you down the first time. But he was here now. And you were thankful.

“Loki?”

He looked over at you, “Yes, love?”

You reached under your desk to retrieve your wine and 2 glasses, ushering him over to you. His eyes went wide at the sight of wine, as they always did, and he gladly stepped over to you, leaning against your desk. “What is the occasion?”

What a stupid question. “Loki, thank you for being with me tonight,” you popped the bottle. “I had this saved for when I was finished paper,” you poured two glasses. “And I want to share it with you once I hit ‘submit’ on my computer”.

He smiled, “you’ve finished? Already?”

You looked at the clock. “Loki, its 11:30. We’ve been here for hours!”

He seemed surprised. He noticed how the time he had spent with you this evening went by like a blink. He was cherishing you paying this much attention to him since you had arrived hours earlier.

“I suppose we have. Submit you work darling, and we will cheers.”

You uploaded you work, and hit submit. You had finalized your paper, bringing an end to months of hard work and late nights. And now you were sharing the final moments of it with your friend. You hadn’t even had a sip of wine yet, but your cheeks were already flushed. And he seemed to notice.

You clinked your glasses, smiling at each other. You were so giddy that you were finally finished. You couldn’t help it, you wrapped your arms around Loki drinking him in after your wine. He smelled of cloves and leather, and you pressed your cheek onto his shoulder. He drank you in, subconsciously smelling your hair as he placed one hand on your neck to complete the embrace.

“Thank you, Loki, for sitting here with me. For everything.”

“Dove, I am always here with you, for you. You needn’t even ask.”

You both pulled away at the same time, looking into each others eyes. It seemed like time had stood still for just a quick moment, just for the two of you to enjoy. When suddenly,

BANG!

Loki immediately put himself in front of you, putting his drink down. You followed. “Loki, what was that?” “I’m not sure. Stay here and I will go look.”

You begrudgingly let him go, letting yourself sit down on the couch he had previously enjoyed. You were worried about what could be happening, but you were also royally pissed that the two of you had been interrupted right there and then. Really? Right now? A noise had to happen and scare the crap out of you right when something magical was about to happen? You centered yourself, and had a sip of your wine. Loki came back into the library, looking like he felt the exact same way that you did. “Nothing. No one is in this building besides us”. “Must have been a ghost” you laughed.

Loki sat beside you and draped his arm on the cushion behind you. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was nothing like you said, so I’m not worried. Thank you for going out to look”. He nodded, picking up his glass and clinking it with yours for the second time, “perhaps we were getting too comfortable”. You looked at him. What did he mean by that? He noticed your questioning look. “That being said, there is not a moment when I am not comfortable with you, (Y/N)”. You gave yourself a moment to feel quant in the silence that fell, but not for too long. Before you could second guess yourself, you leaned into him and gently kissed his cheek. You were too fast to notice, but he was about to lean into your kiss before you pulled away. He missed you immediately.

“So, you’ve finished-“ he said lightly.

“I guess I have, yeah”. You were both staring into each others eyes, waiting for the other to make the next move. “Would you stay here? With me? I- I don’t have anything else to do but, I thought I would have some sort of celebration.”

“Love, I won’t leave unless you make me.”

Good to know.

You both began to relax with more and more wine in your systems. You knew it wasn’t affecting him in the same way that it did you, but he seemed a lot more generous with his communication. He wasn’t holding back with you, not that he ever did. But any time you looked over his shoulder, suspicious of the possibility that another noise would happen, he would shift a little closer to you. You were looking past him for a longer moment than you perhaps intended, and he took your hand in his. The physical touch grounded you in a way that slightly surprised you. This man seemed to be full of surprises.

By now the bottle was empty, and you were almost sitting on top of the god. If you were to get any physically closer.. well that was exactly what you wanted. As you were speaking, a lock of your hair had fallen in your eyesight. Since your reflexes were a tad slower from the wine, it took you a second to register. Loki instead raised his hand to your face, and placed the lock of hair gently behind your ear. His hand lingered on your cheek, and you hoped he couldn’t feel how hot you felt. Your heart was beating pretty fast, and you were worried Loki could hear it, he was so close. You raised your hand to his forearm, rubbing your thumb on his sleeve. He took this as an okay, and started to lean forward, looking down at your lips.

The long day must have made you impatient by now, because you couldn’t wait a second longer. You leaned into him to cut the time in half, and pressed your lips to his. Loki’s eyes opened in surprise, but then drowsily closed once your mouth opened and he took advantage. You moved to sit on his lap and he gladly welcomed you, putting one hand behind your head tangled in your hair, while the other gently grasped your waist. The two of you were getting more and more heated when your phone buzzed, alarming you as you fell off Loki and onto the ground. You jumped back up in surprise to check your phone, just to see a confirmation email that they had received your paper.

Amazing.

Loki reached out to you and helped you stand up in front of him. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes I’m alright”. You were both slightly panting, lips swollen and pupils huge. “Would you walk me home?”

Loki smiled and nodded, taking your hand in his as you left the research building. You could collect your things tomorrow.

The walk back to the main building passed in a blink as you crept into the elevator up to your rooms. You had a pretty good amount of floors between now and getting off, and you knew Tony would be hosting a movie night. Loki must have had the same instinct as you did, because as soon as the elevator doors closed, he pushed you against the wall, urging his leg between yours. You let out a small moan, and tugged his hair forward so you could have at least some control. He smirked down at you, and you were making out until the elevator doors dinged and swung open. You both straightened yourselves up, not wanting to explain yourselves to your friends. But, you had to walk past all of them in order to get to your rooms. Loki put his hand on the small of your back, bracing you for what was to possibly come.

As you entered the common area, everyone shouted a big hello. Thank god, they were as pissed drunk as you were hoping.

Nat waved the two of you over, “Soooo…..did you finish it?!”

You nodded and smiled, remembering how hard you had worked and how excited you were to actually be done with it.

“And Loki wasn’t toooooo distractingggg?” she added.

“No, not at all!”

Loki chimed in, “I managed to really help her relax-“, you cut him off with a swift stomp on his foot, shutting him up. Nat was too far gone to notice, thankfully.

You said your goodnights and the two of you walked down the hall, your room coming up first.

“Pet, I had a wonderful time with you this evening”, “me too, Loki”.

You turned around to let yourself in your room, when Loki grabbed the back of your neck, turning you around. He pushed you up against the wall with one hand around your waistt, while the other softly sat around your neck. He moved his hand to make you look up at him, and he drank you in. “You’re so well behaved, pet”. He gave you such a deep kiss that you thought your legs would give out. He pulled away, seeming drunk off his own actions. Loki looked down at you, taking his hands away. You let out a huff, wanting his hands all over you again. “Don’t pout, love. Be a good girl”. And with that he left.

#avengers #avengers x reader #loki #loki and reader #loki x reader #loki fluff #fluff #avengers fluff #loki series

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

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Masterpost: answering a single anon in a single post

So. I wasn’t going to answer asks today but frankly, considering what I should be writing I’d rather answer asks, might actually get a laugh out of it. Most of all, because of what I intend to answer here.

To spare y’all from the pain and annoyance of having to read through any of my answers to we-know-who, I’m going to do it differently this time. All in one post. Because frankly, filling my blog with their TWENTY asks, no less (and it’s official this time, used to be sixteen but then I reblogged that post about conflict in stories and they went wild, as usual) isn’t worth anyone’s time. Hell, it’s not even worth mine, but procrastination is overpowering.

Here we go. If you’re not the anon in question and still want to read this, I hope you have fun.

This is a free world. That means multiple things some people can’t seem to accept. One such thing is that people have no obligation to even interact with each other, let alone to do what others demand of them, especially when they don’t want to. The fact is, being harassed (because, yes, there’s no other word for it) by someone has been a pretty irritating and stressful thing for me, to the point where it has impacted my ability to write...

And the harasser doesn’t give a single fuck about it and just keeps going :’)

With such introduction, I decide to engage my least favorite person in this site once again because clearly, ignoring them, blocking them, closing asks, deleting and rewriting reviews, is still not enough to get across the message that reiterating an opinion a million times doesn’t automatically make it more valid. So let’s see just what’s going on with this very much desperate person who apparently can’t stop seeking my attention:

First of all, I asked this person, point-blank, to address their asks, if they would continue sending them, to my main blog. Let’s see how that request turned out:

Oh my, astonishing! They sent it to Gladiator’s blog instead! And what a bigger shock: they’re, as usual, trying to control and direct what I write and how I write it. While sprinkling empty compliments that don’t mean a thing, such as claiming RESPECT for me and my work when every single ask they’ve sent is an outright disrespectful act against me, considering how many times I’ve requested, directly, that they stop this, and how many times they’ve ignored me. It even is extra poignant considering my request for them to send asks to my main blog instead, and yet they deliberately sent it to Gladiator’s blog. This is what RESPECT looks like, in this anon’s head. Fascinating stuff, isn’t it?

And then comes the mad onslaught that left me facedesking for days:

... I mean. Can someone please read this and tell me the person on the other side, with their vague condition, whatever it may be, has any idea what an apology even MEANS?

For someone who’s so obsessed with alleged consistency, you’re damn bad at it yourself, Anon. You can’t send four asks in a row, to the WRONG BLOG, demanding for explanations you don’t even care to read, because every single time I’ve taken your whining seriously you’ve disregarded all my responses and gone right back to the same BS as before, and THEN pretend you’re here TO APOLOGIZE.

You don’t feel any remorse. To this day, you don’t even KNOW what you did wrong. This is NOT expressing yourself: THIS IS HARASSMENT. Need me to define the word for you to understand what it means, seeing as it’s becoming abundantly clear your reading and interpretation skills are not the greatest?

Definitions of harassment:

1. (n) the act of tormenting by continued persistent attacks and criticism 2. (n) a feeling of intense annoyance caused by being tormented

I’ve said it before: PEOPLE HAVE HAD COMPLAINTS ABOUT THIS STORY, FAR MORE VALID THAN YOURS, AND I’VE NEVER REACTED THIS WAY. Care to guess why?

Because you NEVER stop. Because you keep going, constantly, never slowing down to think YOUR behavior is affecting a REAL LIFE HUMAN BEING. You’re obsessing over what happens in a fictional story that, by the way, is a fanfic, ergo, it obeys certain rules that general fiction does not. Among such rules is abiding by ORIGINAL characterization to a certain extent, and that means, hahaha, that Azula ISN’T an experienced character in any social or romantic situations because she ISN’T in canon, and there was no reason to change that, especially considering the worldbuilding I crafted, which makes it CRUCIAL for Azula to be careful with her virtue, despite she doesn’t want to be and realizes the whole notion of female virginal purity is absolute BULLSHIT.

But why am I explaining anything anyway? You won’t understand it, because you don’t want to. You claim, constantly, that you’re asking things OUT OF CURIOSITY, as if that makes ANYTHING better, when the truth is you’re just here to impose your cursed opinions on everyone else, especially me, and pretend you somehow own this fic and ship and your demands mean more than anyone else’s. Meanwhile, oh, I understand you PERFECTLY: you don’t want Sokka to ever have any experiences with any other women because you only believe in pure, untainted love of virgins who wait for each other and don’t ever make mistakes or are forced into unwanted situations. Because, again, you can’t understand that those sorts of things CAN happen. Because you don’t see there’s nuance to human beings, nuance I attempt to capture through my characters too.

I said it semi-jokingly, back in my past answers, now I say it directly: IF YOU CAN’T STOMACH THESE SITUATIONS AND CAN’T ACCEPT THEM, THIS STORY IS NOT FOR YOU.

An M-rated story doesn’t owe you any apologies for being what it is. An M-rated story, at the end of the day, is a STORY. You are a human being who should be capable of controlling not only your impulses but your reactions to things, at least to some degree, and yet you refuse to. You, in fact, continue to prove you CAN’T control yourself in the least because hey, just now, halfway through writing this post? I got THREE MORE ASKS by you. No less than three. And you finished them off, again, with a pretense that you’re going to stop pestering me...

... But hey. You said that at the end of the last ask I pasted up there. Hmm. And yet...

You came back, over and over and over again? :’)

RIGHT ON ALL ACCOUNTS! So... how do TWENTY ASKS, after claims that you’d finally stop, count as “regret”? You’re not changing at all, anon, because YOU DON’T WANT TO. You don’t, to this day, see what you did wrong. You don’t get it. And you won’t get it. So how about we just keep going with the next four?

Oh! But hey, you actually switched blogs this time. Super sweet of you to finally listen to ONE thing I said. Very nice.

I’ll just point out: I received the last NINE asks I’ve pasted here in a SINGLE DAY.

Nine. In one day.

I only ever got that many asks in a single go during review parties (admittedly, there were more than that, but still). The fact that you felt the need to send me NINE ASKS, to beg for forgiveness with a completely dishonest apology, is all the proof of harassment anyone could possibly ask for, right? If you weren’t an anon and at least had the GUTS to own up to your opinions, which you seem to consider absolutely sacred and completely correct, you’d have never gotten away with this. Ergo why you don’t have those guts, and why you keep sending anon reviews and asks too.

The fact that you’re so obsessed with this problem, to the point of believing Sokka’s best sex was with JUNE? We’ve literally finished an entire arc of Sokka and Azula banging across the Fire Nation with no restraint, with the two of them repeatedly remarking this is the best time they’ve ever had, and you’re so completely obsessed with this problem that you apparently think Sokka angrily fucking someone WHILE DECEIVING HIMSELF INTO THINKING IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE is... better? Are you FOR REAL? Are you seriously THAT BAD at reading?

Please, click here. I can’t even stand it anymore. It’s not even for my own sake but yours. You need it.

Also... you’re projecting so bad. Like, so bad. June’s teasing in that chapter is 100% intended to piss them off. The fact that she starts asking for Azula to lend her her “second boyfriend”, AKA Rui Shi, should tell you just how much stock June puts in what happened between her and Sokka: SHE DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN. She’s honestly more entertained by pissing off Azula as a consequence of it than over the sex she had with Sokka, especially considering she even lost her temper with him after he started apologizing in 28. You’re so completely beside yourself you can’t see ANYTHING clearly?

If you REALLY need it spelled out, no, Sokka wasn’t June’s best sex. June has probably done anyone and everyone she ever wanted to, and chances are she absolutely found someone, or several someones, who actually wanted HER, for HER, just as much as she may have wanted them. And that, you insecure mess of a human being, would absolutely make for a much better lay than what she got with Sokka. Why don’t I outright state this in the story, you’ll ask? Because despite what you may believe, this story ISN’T a love triangle between Azula, Sokka and June! Oh my, the horror! We’ve literally spent 198 chapters building up the story and developing Azula and Sokka’s relationship but the ONE TIME encounter with June apparently makes her that pivotal for your whole existence?

Dude, I literally don’t look at 28 AT ALL these days, because I don’t care to. Because even when I wrote it, it hurt me so bad having written it that I was crazy about getting to everything else so I could put it behind me. Whenever I reference it, I do the same way I reference ANYTHING ELSE. The only person who seems to think I’m doing it to further torture anyone IS YOU.

And yes, did I just say it hurt me too? Oh, my, what a SHOCKER! The fact is, that scene is only as intense as it is because I literally couldn’t bring myself to write it. It wasn’t until it came to mind that Sokka COULD imagine Azula in June’s place that I finally found the way to do it: it wasn’t just Sokka imagining Azula instead, it was ME. Because if it had been anything else? I wouldn’t have been able to write it at all. I basically wrote it as hatesex Sokkla because I NEEDED to in order to write it. “THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN WRITE IT?!?!?”, you’ll scream, I’m sure: BECAUSE I TREAT MY CHARACTERS AS HUMAN BEINGS WHO MAKE MISTAKES AND DO THINGS THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE. BECAUSE SOKKA WAS IN A DARK PLACE AND DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT AZULA WAS FEELING OR THINKING. BECAUSE AZULA WAS IMPULSIVE AND CONTROLLING AND COULDN’T REALIZE THAT THE MORE SHE TRIED TO FORCE SOKKA TO BEND TO HER WILL, THE MORE HE WOULD TRY TO BREAK FREE.

But all this is clearly too complex for you. Can’t even fathom understanding anything remotely close to characterization and conflict within relationships, no. You’re something else entirely.

And so, we move on to the post-apology Anon: you DO realize that forgiveness is something earned? I mean, it’s kinda funny because Sokka actually earned his own. He spent ages working for it, and even AFTER Azula told him he was forgiven, he still feels so bad about having hurt her that, to this day, he regrets it. Being FORGIVEN was not a condition for him to feel remorse. He regretted his actions because HE KNEW THEY WERE WRONG. Because he’s an actual, decent human being who, when faced with a catastrophic mistake, actually wants to amend it and wishes he had acted differently despite he can’t take anything back anymore.

But you? You can’t even begin to understand what regret means. I guess another dictionary definition would help?

Definitions of regret

1. (v) feel remorse for; feel sorry for; be contrite about

2. (v) feel sad about the loss or absence of

3. (v) express with regret

4. (v) decline formally or politely

5. (n) sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment

So, your attempts to beg for forgiveness fall completely flat. And I say it in plural, ATTEMPTS, because in case you think I’m daft and forgot your old reviews and asks, I didn’t: THIS ISN’T YOUR FIRST ATTEMPT TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS BULLSHIT. I thought I should clarify that, because heh, you have claimed you won’t come back, you have claimed you’re sorry, you have said many platitudes in the past that actually had no meaning... and I could tell they didn’t, which is why I never answered them. Because there was no way someone who had exhibited such obsessive behavior would actually control themselves and get over their issues after MONTHS of persistent harassment.

And so, you didn’t disappoint, because I had zero expectations that you’d actually abide by your apologies. Empty apologies, again, because to this moment you don’t even know what you did wrong. You don’t get it. To put it in the way I did for someone else who talked to me about this mess:

You could be complaining to me about something else entirely. You could be here, demanding that I explain why I’ve been writing Sokka killing people, for instance. You could be disregarding all sense, reason, historical precedents and what-have-you as to why a warmongering, canonically genocidal nation like the Fire Nation would ever have a system like the Gladiator League and enslave other cultures to do their bidding.

And if you came back with those complaints PERSISTENTLY, FOR A YEAR, I’D BE JUST AS ANGRY AS I AM NOW.

It’s NOT about the situation you’re throwing a fit over. It’s NOT about me having it out for you. It’s about YOU not knowing limits or boundaries, going as far as you constantly, consistently have, ever seeking to twist my story into whatever warped, fucked up perception you’ve developed over it, without ever slowing down to think that your actions and your behavior are affecting someone else. I’m not just a rambling robot who can’t seem to stop talking or writing or whatever you may think I am: I’m an actual person with a FUCKLOAD of problems, who literally just had the WORST year of her life, and you just decided to continue adding to the pile, never slowing down to consider that your feelings, and your opinions, and your pain, does NOT invalidate other people’s, let alone does it make you EXEMPT of hurting others. Which, heh, if you knew how to read, you could’ve even LEARNED this from Gladiator! :’D

Because Azula, so hurt as she was, took to hurting Sokka too, in many, many ways. And Sokka, once he understood how wrongly he had judged Azula, simply let her hurt him because he thought he deserved everything she threw at him. Later on? Azula realizes all the pain she caused Sokka COULD have led him to choose the White Lotus over her. She’s in a life-or-death situation, unable to fight back, and the ONLY reason she doesn’t get screwed over and captured by the enemy is because Sokka decides she matters more to him than joining forces with sketchy people who are out for revenge. But what if she’d hurt him more than she had? What if she’d done WORSE than she did? Maybe he would’ve been so hurt too that, at this point, he would’ve chosen the White Lotus and not only abandoned her but handed her over to her nation’s enemies! :’) oh, the horror. Is it really that unthinkable? Why, it’s not to me. And why not? Because if Azula had been as unforgiving and unyielding as you are, if she had been so obsessive over whatever caused her pain and refused to move on... this story would SUCK. BADLY.

Makes you wonder what that says about your mentality, doesn’t it?

Alas, after all this digression as to why your behavior is absolutely appalling to me, let’s see what you did indeed, right after your absolutely shallow apology that was obviously not sincere, because you don’t regret having bothered me at all, you just regret that I won’t abide by your whining...

Is THIS what an apologetic, remorseful person looks like? Really, now? Honestly, if Sokka were half as bad as you are, he would’ve slept with half the Fire Nation by now while constantly coming back to Azula like “Oh woops did it again, sorry!”

Yes, I can honestly make the link pretty easily. Must be why you keep assuming he’ll ever be with someone else, because if you were in his place, you would do exactly that :’) beautiful how things just come full circle, isn’t it?

That ask came as a response to another, potentially ill-intended one, potentially sent by you too. An ask I answered with a whole list of unique things Sokka has done for Azula. Not only did you NOT understand the list’s purpose despite you may have even been the one to ask for it... but you took a line directly referencing OBVIOUS events like chapters 64, 69 and 93, moments in which Azula either put a stop to opportunities where she and Sokka might have ended up going too far, and he accepted it without complaint... or Sokka himself put a stop to them, KNOWING that Azula would be taking a huge risk if she gave herself to him completely as she does from 97 onwards. That you literally took something that was SO VERY OBVIOUS, and twisted it into chapter 28 again speaks LENGTHS of how absolutely messed up your perception and interpretation of this whole story is. You have issues. Serious issues. And I’m not saying this just to be an ass, I’m saying it because it’s clear as day that if you CAN’T stop linking absolutely everything I say or do to chapter 28, whether it’s being referenced or not (and in this case, it was NOT), the problem isn’t me, IT’S YOU.

And here we go again. You are actually trying to POLICE the Sokkla fandom at this point? An ANON? And hey, you returned to the Gladiator blog! Which means you were so pissed that I didn’t answer your previous asks and your phony apology because I KNEW you’d come back that even your teeny, tiny behavioral correction was pulled back because you were MAD. And you HAD TO MAKE YOUR OPINIONS KNOWN, AGAIN.

Do tell, are you the same ass who harassed a pretty new friend I’ve made in this fandom? An honestly solid writer who happens to feature Sokka having other, prior relationships to Azula because, haha, if you work with CANON settings, that’s basically guaranteed since Sokka already has canon relationships before even knowing Azula exists? And then, even if in those experiences Sokka ends up going “... I bet it’d be better with Azula”, you STILL take this as a slight and you consider it a reason to go around harassing writers and potentially even THREATENING to report their content because you’re mad that Sokka isn’t exclusively Azula’s in every single story you pick up?

The worst part is, I actually wrote at least 2 stories in my Saturdays’ oneshots where Azula and Sokka are each other’s first everything, absolutely so. And I got nothing from you for it, not even a teeny tiny “HEY THANK YOU YOU FINALLY WROTE WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!”. No, you only come out of your hole to ATTACK writers. To tell us what to do when you think we’re not doing it right. As if you had the SLIGHTEST right to tell ANYONE what to do.

I literally have been here for EIGHT YEARS. I’ve been creating content for this ship for that long, when nobody else was anymore. I won’t take credit for the ship’s rise in popularity, despite yes, it’s far from a major ship no matter how far we’ve come... but my story didn’t reach the heights it has out of sheer dumb luck. I worked my ass off with Gladiator in every way I could to make it a story of the scope and depth it deserved to be, and the fact that people who didn’t even ship Sokkla were interested in reading the story all the same has always been something I take pride on. A ton of multishippers read this story, and support Sokkla too: neither you nor ANYONE has any right to demand or claim or pretend that someone else has no right to be part of this fandom or to set guidelines as to what their content should be. There’s LITERAL stories out there of Sokka having a goddamn HAREM, just so you know, with Azula included amongst the women involved in it... and you’re here, throwing a fit over people featuring Sokka having one-time encounters and brief relationships with other girls before committing completely to Azula.

I’ve been here, working my ass off for Sokkla, not only in writing but literally developing my art skills to the best of my ability so I could ONE DAY create the visuals and images these two evoked for me...

And yet I don’t feel I have any right to tell ANYONE how to make their content.

If there was a set number of words in fics or artworks someone needed to make for a ship to prove themselves worthy of obtaining the skill of GATEKEEPING, I am 100% positive I have more than outdone that limit.

And yet I DON’T play gatekeeper. I NEVER have, and I NEVER will. People can create whatever they want to create, whether I enjoy it or not is up to me, and if I DON’T enjoy it, I DON’T read it. If there’s Sokkla content out there I can’t even STOMACH? I would ignore it and move on with my life. You? You make it your whole life’s crusade to attack people over anything that tickles you wrong. That’s how it works, isn’t it?

Unless you’re planning on pulling a Scooby-Doo-esque twist where you remove your mask and reveal you were a known Sokkla fan and content creator all along, which I find ABSOLUTELY unlikely, then this means you haven’t done anything, ANYTHING, for this fandom beyond sending anonymous harassment to people who are actually taking time out of their lives to create content for this ship. The main reaction I’ve seen at you from ANY of us, whether anons like yourself or actual content creators like myself, is that you have too much time on your hands and need a better hobby. And I agree, completely.

So, where people like me and my fellow Sokkla creators are actually making content that convinces people, if not to ship it, to at least CONSIDER this ship a possibility... you’re out there, in hiding, pretending you have any right to tell us what to do and going ignored on most accounts. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: if I had any respect for someone, and they either stopped responding to me or started responding by telling me to leave them alone, I’d feel like such stain of garbage I’d never even try to interact with them again. While people absolutely can be different and react differently to things... I can’t see how, exactly, you have any respect for me when knowing you’re a problem for me has never stopped you and most likely never will.

I’ll admit, this one actually made me laugh. Like... you’re seriously trying to tell me that a sex scene was way too good and that’s why I have to change it. I actually disagree on every account, because the last time I revisited 28 I thought the scene was absolutely distant from my best work? I’ve written soooo much smut recently and literally any of those scenes kicks 28 out of any “best smut” contest by MILES. But... heh. This one, apparently, was too good.

I mean... thank you? For telling me that my smut skills are apparently that great they need to be toned down? Fascinating, really.

But again, “it sadly seems to be a too late to write chapter 28″. Sadly?

SADLY?

You can stick your sadness up where the sun doesn’t shine, dude:

SOMEONE WHO THREW SUCH A FIT OVER THEIR REVIEWS BEING REWRITTEN SHOULD

NEVER

TELL SOMEONE ELSE THAT IT’S TOO BAD THEY CAN’T REWRITE ANY OF THEIR CONTENT.

EVER

You can’t pretend, again, that you were EVER sorry for ANY of what you did... while still trying to tell someone they should rewrite their content. Honest to gods, you’re an asshole. You are. And if you think I’m one too, great, I own up to it gladly. But you’re the one willingly intoxicating their brain with my content, only to consistently go MAD over it, and then unleash this kind of illogical nonsense right back at me. I know art can generate a myriad of responses, but I am NOT responsible for your immaturity and inability to handle serious subjects and topics that SHOULD MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. If you don’t KNOW how to deal with the fact that there’s a lot of questionable, dislikeable things in this world, then my damn story is the least of your concerns because you’re well on your way to leading a VERY miserable life, Anon. Better get ready for it, will you?

And again, the Gladiator blog. Again, pretending to be well-mannered, and also, again, using the world “sadly”, same as the ask above. Like... man, what on earth is wrong with you. Are you seriously this masochistic? Do you also drink arsenic for sport? What on EARTH brings you the belief that asking how far or how much was done between Sokka and his previous one-night-stands would help you IN ANY WAY, WHATSOEVER?

I think I’ll answer that question, for once, with actual quotes, taken right from some of your favorite chapters, no less:

"When you and Ruon Jian got married, was he…?" she asked. Mai only raised a confused eyebrow, and Azula had the distinct feeling that Mai knew what she was talking about, but would force her to blurt it out anyways. She sighed: "A virgin."

Ty Lee's hands flew to her mouth as Mai raised her eyebrows. To Azula's astonishment, she merely shrugged.

"I don't know. I never asked," she said. Azula snorted.

"Then you're smarter than me. By far," she grunted. Mai smirked.

And as things digress there into Azula explaining what happened, let’s skip that and go straight to Mai’s direct answer:

"I've never asked Ruon Jian about whether or not he had anything serious with other girls before me because I seriously don't care," said Mai. "If I knew about it, I'd probably have a bout of jealousy like yours, I suppose… but it's in his past, and he left them behind to make me his present and his future. So, whatever he might have experienced before, with however many women there were, isn't something I'm overly concerned about."

"You're awfully mature compared to me if that's the case," said Azula, slipping her fingers through her hair again. Mai smirked.

"You've been complimenting me quite a lot today, Azula, that's not like you…"

"Shut up," Azula grunted. Mai chuckled.

:’)

This is the only answer this ask warrants. The fact that you’re so immature and so obsessed as to want to know more about what happened with something you HATE is completely cringeworthy and absurd. If you want to get angry imagining Sokka having wild sex with every woman who crosses his path, go ahead and do it, but do us both a favor and torture yourself, and yourself alone, with those thoughts rather than coming back TWENTY TIMES to my inbox looking for MORE reasons to get angry. You’re honestly unbelievable.

You know, that reading comprehension site I linked up there? Courses, 20% off! Seriously, perfect fit for you. You need it, direly.

Like... how can someone read a story built on the premise of Azula literally defeating Sokka painfully in battle to the point he’s left unable to move, taking Sokka away from home, turning him into a slave, being objectively responsible for the WORST TWO YEARS OF HIS LIFE... and then come to my inbox asking if Azula will ever hurt Sokka?

Dude, you’re off the deep end. You can’t even pretend you have a grasp on reality if you SERIOUSLY THINK Azula has NEVER hurt Sokka. Like, seriously, it feels like you’re reading this truncated version of Gladiator that’s only chapters 28, 111, 112 and perhaps 123? Is that what’s going on?

I’ve had Sokka and Azula arguing over ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, whether for humorous or for serious purposes, since the very beginning of the story. Their first serious falling out is LITERALLY caused by the direct conflict of their worldviews clashing in chapter 12. Their second falling out was indeed caused by women: by Azula’s discovery that Sokka didn’t want to fight women, which of course, doesn’t bother you in the least because you and I both know that’s NOT what your problem was.

I could literally run through the whole story listing every single argument they’ve had, every single time they’ve hurt each other if that’s what you want: their first time? It literally comes from a very serious argument where Sokka believed he had reached the pinnacle of his potential as a fighter and feared Azula would need someone else to achieve her goals instead of him.

AND YOU’RE SERIOUSLY HERE ASKING IF THEY’LL EVER ARGUE OVER ANYTHING ELSE.

You don’t read this story. This ask absolutely proved it to me. You only read chapter 28 and everything potentially connected to Sokka having anything with other women. You don’t CARE about anything else, simply. Because if anything actually had ANY impact on you? You’d say something about it. But the only thing that touches your weird heart is Sokka sleeping with anyone else or having any potentially romantic interactions with someone else, whether he rejects them or not.

You don’t care about Gladiator. You only care about your ego, and the validation of your worldview and puritanic morals.

And to that I say, fuck that noise. I write whatever the hell I want to write, and you’re not going to rope me into playing it safe just to please insecure harassers who don’t know boundaries and are completely incapable of empathizing with anyone while demanding everyone should understand their feelings.

Final note on this matter: you, also, have no idea what love is. You plain and simple don’t understand it. You’re even more confused by what love should be than Azula was at the start of this story. You don’t get it, AT ALL.

All you want is for them to get even on things? You literally asked me, when I was in my angry spree of deleting your bullshit, to make Azula and her future husband have happy consensual quality sex with who knows how many orgasms... because it was only fair!

AGAIN: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND LOVE IN THE LEAST.

If you think love is about getting even, you’re seriously an asshole. If you think love is about both people being 100% equal in social regards and experiences, you don’t even UNDERSTAND human relations. Do you live in a bubble, by any chance? Maybe you do! You must have zero contact with anyone other than people with your same puritanic beliefs, right? So that means you assume everyone who’s different from you is fundamentally a bad person? I take it?

Like... literally at this point I think you’d hear about someone who was abused in their childhood, molested, and your reaction would simply be “Oh wow I hope someone molests whoever they end up marrying too, so that way they may be even in the future and been molested by the exact same number of people, otherwise it’s not really love”.

This is fucking sick. I’m not holding back at this point, it’s SICK. It’s TWISTED. It’s VILE. Your mentality is absolutely repulsive to me. You don’t know what love is, and you have the most literal, obvious change to understand it better by reading this story properly, but instead you just read chapter 28 over and over and over again, isn’t that right?

And here’s the evidence of that. You really want me to answer that last question?

No, it doesn’t bug me to read that AT ALL. Because unlike you? I don’t obsessively reread 28 while disregarding everything else in the story. Unlike you, I don’t revisit the chapter every day to pick apart every line to look for reasons to get extra angry at those developments.

Most of us, when faced with things we DON’T like in fiction? We move past it. You, instead, dig yourself into a hole and continue digging, and then pretend to hold other people responsible for whatever impact this may be having on your psyche. Because yes, you’re holding me responsible for whatever trauma or insecurity this is awakening inside you when you continue to pester me as you have: if you’re an adult, you should have the tools and brains to determine what is and what isn’t acceptable behavior, as well as to curate your own experiences with media, with fandom, with EVERYTHING to do with these communities. If you choose to look for things to hate instead of things to love, THAT’S ON YOU.

And if you’re allegedly looking for things to love but can’t find ANY that suit your purposes (which... is bullshit. Clearly, your only priority is “Sokka must be a virgin who never had anything with anyone else”, and such stories DO exist, which I guarantee considering I’ve written at least THREE of them, where it’s absolutely stated that Sokka’s first and only one is Azula)...

Well, it’s funny. Because when I got here? I was looking for some very specific fics so I could explore whether or not Sokkla made any sense. And I didn’t find them.

Which resulted...

... In me writing the very stories I wanted to see.

Oh, my. Imagine taking your impulses and channeling them into something productive rather than looking for reasons to get angry 24/7! Must be such a NOVEL CONCEPT for you!

Seriously, you have no right to dictate what anyone does. Again, worth bringing up because you INSIST on the rewriting matter. Even if you’re claiming you’re done asking for it, you somehow KEEP bringing it up. And then you act like me mentioning 28′s events here or there in the story is absolutely outrageous... but you just go right on ahead and do the same thing yourself, don’t you? Funny how much of a hypocrite you really are, isn’t it?

The fact that you’re bringing up something I have NEVER written, and have NO INTENTIONS of ever writing, as some sort of stupid, ridiculous argument to be made AGAINST the post I literally reblogged TODAY... is just absurd beyond belief.

The fact that I ever even wrote Sokka cheating on Suki with Azula, which I DID, still bothers me. Because yes, it made for a good story, but the truth is, it doesn’t sit well with me. It worked in The Reason, worked in my collab story with a friend, but it doesn’t mean I feel 100% happy with that choice. Even if the cheating only amounted to a kiss in The Reason, and then a lot worse than just that in the other story, it’s still not cool! :’) I know this!

... And yet no one, NO ONE, has ever caught me writing Sokka cheating on Azula. In fact, when my collab story with my friend seemed to start moving towards that angle I BEGGED her not to do it, and then she didn’t, and my heart was deeply relieved and blissful for it. Because not only did it mean we wouldn’t have to deal with the very controversial and unsettling notion of someone in a good relationship cheating on their significant other... but because in that story, it also showed how much he had grown, and how he was truly devoted to Azula despite he hadn’t been to Suki.

But alas, I have my qualms with that concept, of course I do. And I don’t like it. Ergo, I’ll never write it.

Which begs the question as to WHY, exactly, you’re so obsessed with the notion of Sokka cheating on Azula? Like... do you get off on it? Are you wanking at the idea of Sokka and June every single night and then wake up feeling like crap and then take it out on me, by any chance? Is that what’s going on? Because I’m seriously starting to believe it is.

You clearly don’t understand anything about storytelling, which is probably why you don’t have the guts to create your own content in the first place. But the fact that I reblog a post about how conflict in a story is GOOD, and your first thought is “THEN THAT MEANS YOU APPROVE OF SOKKA CHEATING!” actually says A LOT MORE about you than it says about me. You need help. Clearly, the therapy site I was sending you to the last time wasn’t much good, was it? I guess you just ignored it in the end. Hopefully the reading comprehension one will suit you better, right?

Fuck you, seriously, for coming to someone who has been working this hard for this long, for a ship that they’re completely devoted to, to spout this kind of senseless shit. To think you seriously ever believed I’d accept your half-assed apologies when you’ve been doing this sort of bullshit for this long... you’re a piece of work. If you have the time to write that BULLSHIT into my inbox, at the very least use that time to look INWARD and ponder just what your damn problem is, resolve it on your own, AND LEAVE ME THE HELL OUT OF IT. Someone as immature and unstable as you has no business reading M-rated fiction, and I honestly rue the day you ever clicked my story. Both your life and mine would be countless times better if you simply had scrolled past it.

And on and on we went today. The THREE MORE ASKS that arrived as I was typing this insanely long response. Which resulted in you bumping the total, successfully, to 20. MIGHTY NICE OF YOU TO PROVE ME RIGHT! :’)

Now then, getting serious here... I must say your priorities are fucked. Like. Really fucked.

You’d rather Sokka tries to KILL AZULA than have a one-time sexual encounter with someone?

Like... you’re here, condoning VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN to that extent...? :’D and then you... you actually have the balls to whine because apparently him hurting her feelings is WORSE?!

Are you EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF???

You know, I think I have to offer you some REALLY good advice right now: go watch Naruto. Seriously, all of it. Go watch it, and enjoy your sweet loins’ release once Sasuke and Sakura start trying to kill each other, ONLY TO END UP TOGETHER AT THE END! :’) They were both 100% faithful to each other too, in the sense of Sakura getting depicted as a girl who can’t ever get over the guy she had a crush on when she was 6, no matter if he tries to kill her or her friends once he starts to go off the deep end, and Sasuke getting depicted as a guy who treats everyone like garbage, even the people he loves, because his manpain story somehow validates him being absolutely toxic to everyone he knows, so that’s absolutely up your alley! 100% the love story you’ve been looking for! You’re gonna LOVE IT.

Man, I just can’t believe you. I really can’t believe you. You’re seriously asking me to feature Sokka trying to kill Azula because that’s more acceptable to you. There was a story out there, you know? With Azula basically using Sokka to commit suicide, impaling herself on his sword and dying? You should just go look for that too, perfect fit for you (though it may be gone from the depths of this wretched site by now, which tbh I’d be grateful for, since it was the most unsettling, disturbing read).

Also? Thank you, truly, for all the remarkably shallow compliments you’ve thrown at me to “soften” your “criticism” (which, again, is whining, not legitimate criticism). Calling me a capable writer is super NICE of you, especially after all these months of persistent harassment and constant repetition that I should rewrite whatever you don’t like. I mean... that’s definitely the way someone treats a capable writer, isn’t that right?

“The problem isn’t conflict it’s what the conflict is”, the anon says. I’ve been writing a story for 8 years, 198 chapters and counting... and I’ve had a ton of different types of conflicts for Sokka and Azula to deal with. If your problem is “I don’t like this conflict”, FINE. But... hey. There have been THOUSANDS of other sources of conflict across the story, so many I don’t think I can even promise I’d ever take my time to count them all... there’s whole ARCS with conflicts regarding world politics and the war’s consequences and both Azula and Sokka completely changing their worldviews as they realize their realities are soooo much more complicated than they ever knew...!

Ergo. There ARE other conflicts. There are SO MANY of them that there’s no point in even listing it all out.

And yet you are obsessed with the one conflict you didn’t like, outright acting like THIS IS THE ONLY CONFLICT THERE EVER WAS, as proven by that preposterous and mindless “when will Azula ever hurt Sokka” ask. The one development you were pissed at, because it tickled your loins the wrong way. Oh yes, I’m a capable writer, I could’ve done things differently...!

BUT I DIDN’T!

And aren’t you thrilled that I didn’t? You would be a complete nobody in this fandom if this hadn’t happened, because otherwise what would you POSSIBLY have to complain about?! To harass someone about?! You’d be SO BORED! You’d be so unknown, nobody would even be aware of your existence...!

Though.

Wait.

You’re an anon.

You’re unreachable and nobody really knows who you are.

... So never mind, you actually still are a complete nobody in this fandom and your only attempt to even take part in it is to be a negative, irritating presence that literally makes people facepalm, laugh and ridicule you to the extent I and many others have laughed at you.

And yes, that post I reblogged was 100% worth reblogging. Why? Because it hits the nail on the head:

I DIDN’T WRITE 28 SO YOU’D BE HAPPY WITH SOKKA.

I DIDN’T WRITE THAT CHAPTER TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK “OH WOW WHAT A WHOLESOME SITUATION”.

I WROTE IT BECAUSE IT WAS MEANT TO DETONATE CONFLICT AND SPEED UP CHARACTER GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT, WHICH IT DID.

And the thing is? Maybe, in the future, I’ll write other stories, just as I wrote the Saturdays’ stories, and Sokka won’t have either meaningful or worth mentioning encounters with anyone else in them. Maybe I’ll write original fiction, and there won’t be any twists like what happened in 28!

But you will never get over this.

You will never care about any other content beyond this.

And that’s your failing, not mine.

If you would rather obsess over what makes you angry, that’s on YOU. But I’m damn sure I wrote a pretty reasonable conflict, character-wise, that was not only consistent with characterization but with the slightly darker take of the Avatarverse I’ve been working with. Not only that, but I NEVER skipped the consequences of their actions. I literally had them facing those consequences for whole arcs. Sokka assumed he’d never have a chance to be with Azula and made his peace with it, WITHOUT EVER PRETENDING HIS DEVELOPING FEELINGS FOR AZULA WERE ANYTHING THAT ENTITLED HIM TO HER LOVE IN RETURN. But oh, that’s too complex for you to understand, isn’t it? The fact that Sokka actually loves Azula for her, and not for himself, that he devotes himself to her in every imaginable way, that he fights people who dare disrespect her, that he would stop at NOTHING, even coming close to killing someone, to keep her safe despite he’s completely against killing people? That all means NOTHING to you.

And again? THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM. THAT’S YOUR FAILING. THAT YOU’RE SO OBSESSED WITH 28 AND CAN’T MOVE PAST IT IS NOT MY FAULT, IT’S YOURS.

Because I damn right moved past it. I’ve moved so far past it I literally don’t ever THINK about that damn situation until your stupid asks start arriving. Heck, maybe if you didn’t ASK so much about it, I’d stop bringing it up in recent chapters of the story :’) how do you feel about that particular kernel of unexpected information? Maybe you’re impacting the story in a whole shocking manner by inception-ing 28 into my head all the time and that’s why I can’t seem to stop throwing in lines referencing it for you to go completely BONKERS over. How about that? :’)

Say... how exactly do you think this fic is special? Literally all I know is you think I’m a capable writer who can create something perfectly catered for you, and yet ALL the feedback I’ve ever gotten from you is “REWRITE 28 AND EVERYTHING ABOUT SOKKA HAVING ANYTHING WITH OTHER GIRLS I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS I’M GENUINELY CURIOUS THIS IS LEGITIMATE CRITICISM SIGNING OFF BYE”. Your compliments are completely devoid of meaning because they’re literally just a handful of “you’re a good writer” and you don’t even say WHY you think I’m good. You don’t ever come here to tell me how much you enjoyed a certain scene, or how happy you are with a certain development... No.

Because when Sokka and Azula got married? What did I get?

“HOW CAN YOU LET SOKKA AND AZULA GET MARRIED NOW WHEN HE SLEPT WITH SOMEONE ELSE IN CHAPTER 28?!”

I wish I had screenshots for those, but you and I both know the truth, you irksome anon, and the truth is you did exactly that. And with every new development in Shu Jing, I got yet more reviews and ask(s), persistently whining about how UNFAIR it is that now Azula apparently is locked in marriage with this unfaithful man who has been unfaithful to her a grand total number of ZERO TIMES ever since their relationship began! How DARES he even think about marrying her?! Scourge of earth, let’s murder him in cold blood because DEATH IS BETTER THAN CHEATING!!!

If you think highly of Gladiator for ANY REASON, you’ve kept those reasons well and safely tucked away in the depths of your broken heart or shared them with anyone but me. Look at all these asks, damn you, and tell me at what point in time did you convey ANYTHING beyond “why don’t you write what I want you to write?”, huh? Because hell, I don’t see it in any of them. Literally nowhere. No backwards (: emojis are compliments or evidence of how much this story allegedly means to you. All I know is that you hate 28 and everything about it.

And you see...

I don’t give a flying fuck.

I don’t.

You can hate 28 all you want.

You can hate June.

You can hate Sokka.

It is, INDEED, a free world.

But you have no right, NONE WHATSOEVER, to commit to this level of harassment as you have, for A WHOLE YEAR, and pretend the problem is that I, Seyary, the “evil super-sensitive author who writes Sokka sleeping with other people and doesn’t even break a sweat but then crumbles to pieces when “negative” feedback arrives”, can’t handle your comments properly.

I’ve said it before, damn you: NO ONE NEEDS TO REITERATE THEIR OPINIONS A MILLION TIMES. NO ONE. NOT YOU, NOT THE PEOPLE DEMANDING FOR THE PLOT TO KICK INTO HIGH GEAR, NOT THE ONES WHO THINK THIS SHIP IS GARBAGE, NOT ANYONE.

NO ONE HAS ANY RIGHT OR REASON TO COME BACK PERSISTENTLY THORUGHOUT A YEAR TO HARASS SOMEONE NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY’RE TOLD TO STOP IT.

Point being: HATE WHAT YOU WILL! But keep it the fuck off my blog. And if you CAN’T? Get used to these responses. Because you’re going to get them, constantly. I guarantee it.

I know your damn opinion already. I know it by heart and I damn wish I didn’t. You are perfectly free to go read all the other stories where I’ve had Sokka staying faithful to Azula, with Azula being his first, or with Azula being much more experienced and sleeping around while Sokka stays mostly chaste... but you don’t. You come back, every time, to my miserable inbox that must cry every time you show up in it, to make these demands and pretend you have any power over what I should be writing.

Again, no, I have no idea why this story matters to you at all. And at this point? I’d rather NOT know. Because I’m 100% sure the only thing that matters most to you is chapter 28. So you know, go ahead, wank to it again and cry yourself to sleep. It’s kind of fascinating to have written something that has such a visceral emotional impact on a complete and total stranger. Makes it clear I’ve made a lot of progress as a writer if I can fuck up someone’s life to this extent with what I’ve written.

Yeah. Sure. You really think I’ll buy it? You really think this is goodbye? Oh, no, Anon. You can’t stay away. You’ve been told to, you’ve been asked to, but you can’t.

So no, I’m not wishing you good luck back. And I’m certainly not wishing you any fun with my fic, because it’s more than clear that the only source of entertainment it provided you was chapter 28, seeing as it’s the only impactful thing I apparently ever wrote. And someone who’s that obsessed with one of the chapters I most disliked writing despite I knew the plot would benefit from it in the long run simply can’t deserve to have fun. So... good suffering over Gladiator, if anything? Go ahead and continue to wrack your brain while trying to unravel why, oh, why would ANYONE ever write what I wrote and still call themselves a Sokkla shipper?!

I dunno, maybe go on and write something similar yourself. Could be you’ll finally figure out what your problem is if you take to writing the cheating storylines you’re so very much obsessed with. Only, heh, I can guarantee I’m not touching anything you write, out of principle more than anything. I plain and simple don’t want anything to do with you... but as I don’t intend to close my inbox again, it seems I have no choice, do I?

Good fucking luck sticking to this alleged goodbye... but we both know you’ll be coming back very soon, won’t you? No worries, Anon, I’ll be waiting this time. Let’s see if you can break your 20-ask-streak record next time, shall we? :’)

It’s December 13th, at 2:32 PM, in my location. Let’s see how long it takes you to come back, shall we?

EDIT: I neglected to check constantly so it definitely arrived earlier than this, but officially received a response at least 2 hours after this post went live.

Didn’t I call it? Yep, absolutely called it.

#I need a name for this anon #though I guess stalker-harasser anon would work?#yep #stalker-harasser anon #there we go #honestly it feels so utterly backwards to still talk about this to this day #and yet #it never ends #:')#here we go have this dumpster fire of a post #I'm legit going to time this shit #and report right back to you all #once the stalker-harasser comes back #it's the only genuinely hilarious part of this whole thing after all

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emergencymanagement · 4 years

Text

there are so many plot holes in Peter’s betrayal IT’S INSANE

okay! hello! can I just rant for a minute? I’m writing a fic that spans from the beginning of the marauders’ years at Hogwarts to Remus and Sirius’ last days together and I’m trying to lay down the timeline of the first war right now, and

nothing! about! jk rowling’s plot! makes! sense!

(apologies in advance for spelling mistakes I’m drunk and tired, but let’s gO)

Problem 1: The Potters

JK has two conflicting timelines of when the Potters go into hiding:

Timeline 1:

the Potters go into hiding immediately after Lily becomes pregnant

this means they went into hiding around October 1979 and stayed in hiding for two years until they died in October 1981

that’s a long ass time! a loooooong ass time! you’re telling me they were locked in their house for two years?? that means they only served in the Order for a little over a year which makes no sense because...

Problem 1: Somebody took a photo of the Order in July of 1981 and James and Lily were in it. Why would they have left their newborn baby at home (or taken him with them!) to go to Order headquarters and take a photo for an organization they hadn’t been a part of for almost two years?

Problem 2: In Lily’s letter to Sirius, written around August of 1981, a month after the photo was taken, she reports being in hiding and says that James is starting to get antsy not being able to go anywhere which implies they JUST went into hiding and are still getting used to being stuck in the house

Timeline 2:

Based on all the information above, the Potters must have gone into hiding early to mid-July in 1981, after the Order photo was taken and before Harry’s birthday on July 31st (Lily mentions in her letter that Harry celebrated his first birthday in hiding). This would make sense because if Peter was already working for Voldemort (which Sirius claims he was in POA) then it wouldn’t take him very long to betray them to Voldy, and so them being in hiding for only three months before they were killed is very reasonable. So this timeline that I’ve just described must be J.K.’s second timeline, right?? that would make sense, right? WRONG. Nothing makes sense in this world, you fool.

timeline two ACTUALLY says that the Potters had to go into hiding “at the time of Harry’s christening”

which like?? what??? his christening? okay. I guess Lily was devoutly religious because Christianity sure didn’t seem to be a big thing among the purebloods (what this reads like to me, though, is another example of JK Rowling trying to weirdly inject Christianity into the Harry Potter books while ignoring all other religions, but that’s for another time) ((fyi I have no issues with Christianity or blending religion and fantasy but her usage of it is odd and noncommittal))

christenings usually happen anywhere from a few weeks to six months after the baby’s birth depending on your sect, situation, e.t.c

this would mean that the Potters went into hiding around late summer-early fall of 1980

THIS would mean that the cast the Fidelius charm for a year before their death

this seems more likely than the first scenario, but all of the problems listed above with the picture and the inconsistencies in the letter are still present

On top of that, Sirius claims that Peter was a spy for a year before the Potters’ death. This would mean that Peter secretly joined Voldemort at almost exactly the same time the Potters went under the Fidelius charm. Admittedly, the Potter family being directly threatened and going into hiding seems like a solid catalyst for Peter noping-the-fuck-out of the Order and secretly becoming a spy. He probably partially joined the Order because all of his friends were doing it (James especially) and so seeing James being forced into hiding was probably a huge shock for him. Also, at this point, the Death Eaters were winning, and he was most definitely shitting himself over that. So. Yes. Timeline works there.

BUT! then why did it take Peter a year to give the Potters up? It seems (although there’s some wiggle room) like they didn’t switch secret keepers, rather made it seem like Sirius was the secret keeper publicly while Peter was secretly the real secret keeper. In this scenario, Peter either would have had to willfully withhold this information from Voldy himself for almost year, which is kind of a dangerous move coming from a coward, or he told Voldemort the minute he was made secret keeper and for some reason Voldemort didn’t do ANYTHING ABOUT IT FOR A YEAR. Does Voldemort have really bad procrastination issues? Did he just forget that there’s a baby that’s threatening his very existence out there somewhere?

This leaves one last plausible option: something happened that made them switch secret-keepers last minute, and Peter did not become secret keeper until shortly before the Potters’ death. This is not what Pottermore or the books imply, but it’s what makes the most sense. We’ll come back to this option in problem 3 which is all about secret keepers, but for now let’s talk about the prophecy that made all of this come to be...

Problem 2: The Prophecy

Dumbledore says that the prophecy was made in 1980 “shortly before [Harry’s] birth” on a “cold, wet night”.

I think that anything below 50 Fahrenheit/10 Celsius can be considered cold, so according to this map of temperatures in the Scottish Highlands:

(okay... yes... I see it too... perhaps the climate map of the Scottish Highlands is taking things a bit too far. But I’m trying to make a point, okay!!)

Trelawney could have conceivably given Dumbledore the prophecy anywhere from late March - early June. There’s some wiggle room there, but I’d place my bets on it happening somewhere in the spring based on the weather and timing. This means that Trelawney made the prophecy a year and a half before Voldemort was finally able to kill the Potters. So what took Voldemort so long? Let’s break it down.

We know that Snape overheard the prophecy and brought it to Voldemort. From there Voldemort decided to kill Harry not Neville because Harry was a half-blood like himself, Snape went back to Dumbledore and offered himself as a double agent in exchange for Lily’s protection, and Voldemort reportedly spent “months searching” for the Potters until he found their whereabouts and discovered they were using a Fidelius charm. Then “WITHIN A WEEK OF BEING NAMED SECRET KEEPER” Peter betrayed them and Voldemort was able to enter the Potters’ home. The implications of this are too ridiculously convoluted to get into, but I’ll hit the stuff that makes me want to scream:

Option 1: Snape Tells Voldy Immediately After He Hears the Prophecy

In this scenario, we only have a few months accounted for. Voldemort finds out about prophecy, searches for a few months, finds the Potters, kills them. Makes sense, right? Bing, bang, boom. Very efficient. Except no. He knew for a year and a half, so what was he doing with allll of that extra time? Discovering the joys of muggle television? Completing a 5,000 piece crossword puzzle? Teaching Nagini to dance? Get on top of it, man. World domination is on the line. A few months is not a year and a half.

It’s also possible that the few months thing is wrong, and Voldemort was actually searching for the full year and a half. If Peter gave the Potters up within a week of becoming secret keeper, they should have been dead wayyy earlier! Like over a year earlier! Even if Sirius was the original secret keeper, and they switched mid-October of 1981, Peter would have still known where the Potters where and that they were under the Fidelius charm, information Voldemort didn’t know until shortly before he killed them. So why did Peter, who was already a spy at this point, fail to say anything? If Voldemort had found out Peter had willfully withheld information, he surely would have killed him. That thought alone should have been enough to make Peter come to him immediately considering how terrified Peter has always been of dying.

Option 2: Snape Sort of Drags His Feet with the Whole Thing

okay so maybe Snape didn’t tell the dark lord immediately. Maybe he knew what this would mean for Lily and was terrified. Maybe he debated for a long time whether it would be safer for Lily if he kept the information to himself or if he told the dark lord and begged him to spare her (fuck the baby, am I right?)

STILL this is a big risk for Snape. No one really wants to piss of Voldemort and saying, “heyyyy big man, I’ve actually known that there’s a super baby that can kill you for like a year, and I didn’t tell you about it because I was scared, but don’t be mad” is not an A+ move. Seems like Voldemort might be kind of mad. Seems like he might even kill you. It seems unlikely to me that Snape would wait that long, but I guesssss it’s possible.

NO MATTER WHAT there are so many conflicts in this timeline. Everything conflicts with everything else, especially the timeline of the secret keeper which is wholly dependent on the other two fucked-up timelines we just discussed, so without further ado...

Problem 3: The Secret Keeper

so WHY not just make Sirius the secret keeper? That’s the question of the century. If the secret keeper can only break the Fidelius charm voluntarily--meaning torturing or imperius-ing them can’t force it out--and Sirius, in his own words, “would have died rather than betray [James]” then WHY NOT JUST HAVE SIRIUS BE THE SECRET KEEPER AND BE DONE WITH IT LADS

Well here’s Pottermore’s (sigh) answer:

“The answer is that Sirius wanted to deflect attention from the real Secret-Keeper. He probably hoped Voldemort would go after him so he could steer attention away from Pettigrew. If all had gone to plan, Voldemort may never have known Sirius was not the Secret-Keeper – but even if he’d discovered the bluff, Voldemort’s pursuit of Sirius would have given the Potters and Pettigrew time to regroup.”

Okay... so Sirius wanted to deflect attention from the real secret keeper... and have the Death Eaters come after him instead... but this still explains nothing because whether Sirius is or is not the secret keeper, the Death Eaters are coming after him regardless, and if he knows that he would rather die than betray James and Lily, why risk letting anyone else carry the secret? In other words, why did he trust Peter more than himself?

The only answer I can think of is that something happened that made Sirius stop trusting himself. For some reason, he felt that the Death Eaters had something on him that might make him break. Sirius’ defining quality is his undying, self-sacrificial loyalty to the people he loves, so it’s a massive deal that he doubted his own ability to be loyal to James, Lily, and Harry. This goes entirely against his character, so something must have happened that was not mentioned in the books. Unless we change his entire character, there’s a HUGE missing piece here.

(I am keeping this a mainly wolfstar-free post because it’s just about the plotting of the books, but I think it’s interesting to explore how the Death Eaters could have threatened to torture/kill Remus to try to try to make Sirius break. That’s literally the only scenario I can imagine that would make Sirius doubt his ability to be loyal to the Potters--if he had to choose between killing James and killing Remus. Anyways. That’s really dark. Let’s move on.)

Problem 4: Peter

Okay so now we’re past the actual event of Peter’s betrayal and hopping ahead to after James and Lily died.

Why did Peter remain a rat for 12 years?

Pros of Remaining a Rat:

the wizarding world can go on thinking you’re dead and thinking your best friend is guilty of 13 murders

the Death Eaters who think you wanted Voldemort to die at Godric’s Hollow also think you’re dead and aren’t going to be up in your business

someone feeds you

life is simple (if you ignore the many lives weighing on your conscience and the ultimate degradation of your soul)

Cons of Remaining a Rat:

you’re a rat

no one likes you

you have to watch out for mouse traps

you live in a house with Fred and George and probably fear for your life every waking moment

no seriously I think these are big cons

Other Options If You’ve Murdered Your Best Friends and Are a Rat:

go live with the muggles. seriously. there must be a muggle village somewhere without wizards (there aren’t that many wizards) where you can BE A HUMAN. Even if you do run into a wizard, they probably won’t immediately recognize you, and if they do, you can turn into a rat, run away, and go live with the millions of rats of the world

go to space?

no, I mostly just wanted to make that first point

It’s also possible he remained a rat because, as Sirius said, he was “keeping an ear out for news [...] Just in case [his] old protector regained strength, and it was safe to rejoin him.” This definitely is possible, but if I had to choose between maybe living a life as a human and living as a rat in case a guy who totally seems dead comes back, I’d try to be a human. Plus, Peter could live with muggles and still keep up with wizard news.

Problem 5?: Sirius’ Escape

Admittedly, this problem isn’t that big. I still find it a bit weird though.

When Sirius recollects his escape to Harry he says:

If all Sirius had to do to escape Azkaban was to slip out the door when the dementors brought him food, why did he wait twelve years?? yes, okay, he was a universally wanted man and people would have immediately started hunting for him, but Sirius is fucking smart. Dude became an animagi (something only seven other people had done that century) when he was fif-fucking-teen and was considered to be a genius by almost everyone who knew him. Surely he could have hacked it on his own for awhile until he made it to Remus or Dumbledore** and was able to convince them that Peter had been the real secret keeper. And yeah! It may not have worked. In fact, even if Sirius did convince Remus it hadn’t been him, they’re still kind of fucked either way. Worst case scenario, though, Sirius just gets sent back to Azkaban. It’s not like they could have extended his already life-long sentence. I feel like you could argue the merits or disadvantages of running away from Azkaban until you’re blue in the face, but the bottom line is Sirius is a reckless, impulsive, chaotic human being who hates to be told what to do and hates to be made useless and has no qualms risking everything if it seems worth it. So why wasn’t even a brief glimmer of freedom worth it? The only reason I can think of is that Sirius was so destroyed by Peter’s betrayal and the Potters’ death that he didn’t really think it was worth living at all.

ALSO, one last thing, why is it so fuckin’ easy to escape Azkaban? All you have to do is slip out the door and do some swimming? Someone should have done that years ago!

**okay admittedly Dumbledore probably didn’t care about exonerating Sirius and actually found it quite convenient that he was in Azkaban because it meant Harry had no adult looking out for him, but Sirius didn’t know that, and probably still thought Dumbledore cared somewhat for his wellbeing because they worked so closely in the Order (but this is totally conjecture idk)

anyways, point is:

HOW CAN YOU FAIL TO PLOT THE CORNERSTONE OF YOUR ENTIRE SERIES SO SPECTACULARLY?? THIS IS YOUR JOB. THIS IS YOUR LIVELIHOOD.

If you have any thoughts, answers, or if you simply wish to scream in frustration with me, please add them on!

#pls don't judge the pure obsessiveness of this I just went on Thanksgiving break and my city is on full lockdown and I have 2 much time #marauders headcanon #harry potter plot holes #marauders era rp #sirius black #peter pettigrew #the potters #mwpp era #mine #ahhhhh!

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