#i luv sam more than myself.
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Shotgun
a/n: AHHHHH hello!! I’m Lottie and I've been so horrifically obsessed with dealer Ellie that it's not even remotely okay. I had an idea for a fic and instead of requesting it from someone else, I decided why not write it myself! I’ve never posted any fics before bc I’m lowkey ass at writing so if any dialogue is awkward or the grammar is bad I'm so sorry :( Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy it, have a great day I love you ♡ part 2
I kinda modeled the reader after me subconsciously, so the reader is a bit shy and bi (sorry to my lesbian baddies I luv yall, its only one line). Also, I just made up a random roommate named Sam, very sorry if your name happens to be Sam.
Summary: After being dragged to a party by your roommate, you escape out to the porch for some air. Not realizing it was already occupied, you end up having a lot more fun at the party than you thought you would
warnings: language, modern!au, dealer!ellie, weed, shotgunning, collage!au, things get the tiniest bit spicy (only a tad)
wc: 1.6k
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The music pounded in your ears as you pushed past all the sweaty bodies in the middle of the room. Parties had never quite been your scene, but Sam had begged you to come with her and that girl does NOT take no for an answer
This all started with Sam bursting into your shared dorm, ripping your headphones out of your ears, and standing beside your desk with her hands on her hips. “Bitch, you never come out with me! It's like all you do is sit in the dorm all day, you gotta get out there!!” She excitedly screamed, pulling you to your closet to pick out what you should wear.
You and Sam had been randomly paired as roommates but quickly got close despite how different the two of you seemed to be. Sam was always out at parties being social and seemed to know absolutely everyone on campus. You on the other hand... well were almost the exact opposite. You always joked that you were like the crotchety old man of your floor who only left for food or class, and just wants all those damn kids to quiet down while you’re trying to sleep.
“Sigma Nu is throwing tonight, you HAVE to come with me. I’ll be lost without you please please please!”
Sam was, in fact, not lost without you. She had practically ditched you the minute some frat boy asked her to play pong with him, leaving you alone and painfully sober in a sea of drunk college kids. As much as you loved Sam, she always seemed to do this whenever you come out with her. She’d beg that it wouldn't be fun without you but would leave as soon as you got there and you’d be stuck on babysitting detail for her drunk ass for the rest of the night. After about the fifth push and second drunk couple not noticing you leaned up against the wall and making out basically on top of you, you decided to leave in search of some desperately needed air. Weaving through sweaty drunk people should be a fucking Olympic sport because holy shit- you barely escaped with your life. After going through the kitchen, you finally found your way to a sliding door, quickly getting it open and stepping out into the cool night air.
“Jesus christ why did I fucking come here,” you say under your breath, leaning against the porch railing and putting your head in your hands “And I can't even leave because I have to make sure Sam’s okay- god damn it”. Scrubbing your face with your hands, you look up at the sky and get lost in your own head until the sound of someone clearing their throat startles you.
You quickly whip around, hand on your chest, to look at the other person who has also been occupying the porch without your noticing. A girl with short auburn hair and beautiful green eyes stands leaning up against the house. Her face is dotted with freckles and she’s wearing a comfy-looking flannel over a plain white tee, one hand shoved into the pocket of her jeans and the other holding a joint between two fingers. She is, without a doubt, one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever seen. You’re so entranced by her that you barely even notice when she says something to you.
“oh...uhm- what?” you oh so eloquently reply, internally debating if you should throw yourself off the porch to make your escape from this awkward ass interaction. The girl smirks as her eyes scan you up and down- if you didn’t know any better you would think she was checking you out.
“I said are you good? No offense but you kinda seem like you're freaking the fuck out” She repeats, smirk still present on her face as she brings the joint up to take a drag from it, blowing the smoke in your direction.
You blush, embarrassed that someone had been witness to your mini breakdown. “Yeah, I’m good. It's just a lot, you know? I don’t go to parties too often.” As soon as the words leave your mouth you cringe internally. Don’t go to parties a lot? You seriously couldn't think of anything cooler to say? Way to embarrass yourself in front of the hottest chick you’ve ever met. Your downward spiral continues until the girl breaks the quiet with a chuckle
“I get that, frats aren’t really my thing either but I get good business here so... here I am”. You nod your head, looking back up at the sky. “I’m Ellie, by the way. What's your name gorgeous?”. Your face feels like it's on fire, your brain practically short-circuiting trying to process that this actual goddess just called you gorgeous. You quietly tell her your name and when you look back at her, she has a wide smile stretching across her face. “Pretty name for a pretty girl.”
Holy shit this girl is going to be the death of you. You’re sure that your face is going to melt off from how hard you’ve been blushing, the ability to speak has left you altogether. You’ve had flings in the past, with both boys and girls, but no one has ever been so brazenly interested in you. You find yourself desperate to know more about her, maybe run your hands through her hair and cup her face as you lean in for a- WOAH. You’re goin wild right now, you need to cool down
“So um... what do you sell?” You ask, trying to change the topic and give yourself some time to chill out. Ellie looks at the joint in her hands, then back at you with raised eyebrows. “Right right, sorry stupid question” you huff while looking down, embarrassed yet again by your lack of rizz. Ellie lets out a full-on laugh, pushing herself off the house and making her way over to you.
“You ever smoked before, pretty girl?” she asks while leaning on the railing next to you, so close you can feel the heat radiating off of her. Looking up, you’re surprised to see that her face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching.
“A few times, not a ton. I cough a lot though, so it's kinda embarrassing to do it with other people”. Ellie taps off the ash at the end of her joint, seemingly contemplating something before turning her attention back to you
“Well if you’re down to smoke, we can try a different way that maybe will help you cough less. That is, only if you want to”. You’re surprised by how quickly you accept her offer, asking her what she had in mind. Ellie moves from beside you to directly in front of you, planting her empty hand on your waist and bringing the joint she held in her other hand up to your face. “Okay, so it's called shotgunning. Just open your mouth after I take a hit, sound good?”. All you can do is nod, mesmerized as she brings the joint to her lips. The moon reflects off her soft skin, the end of the joint burning a deep orange as she inhales. After her hit, Ellie looks over at you and you do as she said.
Flicking away what little is left from her blunt, Ellie cups your face with her now empty hand and brings her mouth to yours. As she’s kissing you she blows the smoke into your mouth, but you can barely concentrate, too focused on the feeling of her lips on yours. After only a few seconds, Ellie pulls away but keeps her forehead pressed to yours and you blow the smoke in her face as you both giggle.
You reach up and brush away a bit of hair that had fallen to cover Ellie’s eyes, running your fingers down the side of her face until you are cupping her cheek as well. You look at each other for a beat before you both lean in, lips meeting again. Ellie caresses your cheek before her hand moves to join her other one on your waist, finding their way under your shirt and stroking the skin there. She tries to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip which you playfully deny. Suddenly, Ellie pulls away for a moment to lift you up onto the porch railing. Your legs fall open and Ellie steps between them, connecting her lips to your neck and kissing down the side to your collarbone. Letting out a breathy moan, you grip the hair at the base of Ellie's neck and throw your head back.
-SCHWOOP-
The noise startles you and you pull away from Ellie, much to her annoyance. Looking at the sliding glass door, you notice some obnoxious frat boy has thrown it open.
“Hey, you deal right? I need a pre-roll if you have em”. Talk about a fucking cock block. Ellie all but growls into your neck, whipping around ready to give this dude the verbal thrashing of his life when you stop her by placing your hand on her shoulder.
“It's okay, I need to find my roommate and get going anyway. But um... do you have your phone on you? Maybe I can give you my number and we can do this again sometime?”. Ellie smiles at that, pulling her phone out of her back pocket and handing it to you. Feeling bold, you give her one last kiss on the cheek before heading past the frat guy and back into the house.
You really hope she texts you.
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an: tf kinda noise does a sliding door make? Def not schwoop but thats all my brain could come up with lmao. so thats my first ever fic, my writing could use some work so i’m def open to any feedback! Stay super freaky, have great vagina, I LOVE YAAAA
#ellie williams x reader#the last of us part two#dealer!ellie#ellie williams#modern!ellie williams#ellie williams x you#ellie tlou#ellie williams x female reader
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Hi Robyn! It's for your ask game luv <3
04: Are you insecure?
05: What is your relationship status?
15: Have any pets?
Hi! Thank you xx
Little tw I talk about weight
04 ~ Sometimes, i used to be really insecure, last year was pretty bad. I was constantly thinking about my weight, i’ve fluctuated both ends of the spectrum. But even though i still go through phases i feel alot more confindent, and accepting that i love my finer hair and my smaller assests x
05 ~ I’m single x have been for a while but I’m pretty content, it’s nice being happy with myself at the moment and when someone (that hopefully is the embodiment of one of the fictional characters i simp for) comes along it’ll be alot healthier relationship than my last 💛
15 ~ I do have pets, i have 2 dogs, girl called chilli (4) and a boy called sam (5 months) both black labs x
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Sophia Samson, FASA'S 2022 - 2023 Treasurer
I’m just going to do this by scrolling through my camera roll like a Sunday morning debrief because I simply can’t remember anything that has happened before breakfast. There is no theme to this, just tiny little thoughts and mems.
This is a pic of me as a child which I’m using purely as an attention grabber and because I didn’t want Mikey to be the first picture here. It is completely irrelevant.
The first FASA thing I attended was the Fall Mass Meeting and I went there knowing no one after being too intimidated to walk up to the Festifall table. Now I realize that was dumb dumb but that flag was wavin and I was waverin. I am now ever so thankful that I woke up from that glorious dorm room nap to walk over to Rackham that day. I remember it being such a warm welcoming little world AND I was introduced to Hola Seoul for the first time after that (thanks Caitlin). Life changing to day to say the least.
Mikey gets a feature because this is the first FASA pic in my phone which is kinda a big deal due to how much storage space this organization takes up. Mini shoutout to him while we’re here because he was my FASA buddy and Ross guide first semester, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today without him. Thank you FASA spirits for bringing him to me, you real for that.
That pic of him is from FAM/Lineage reveal in the fall, where I was sorted into the best FAM and most epic lineage…
Left: an assortment of d i r t y members
Right: Sidapa – did y’all plan on wearing purple? lol
I was sorted into a lineage first and they were so sweet and gave me little gifts. One of those boxes of ramen is in my cupboard at this very moment (waiting for a rainy day). I looked up to them and immediately they were like siblings. I remember Sam rambling about classes I should take and giving me life advice five minutes into meeting them, it’s still in my notes app. Side note Emily is also literally like my twin so we’re connected like that. Hi Emily I luv u. Also hi to the rest of our lineage you are my idols and some of the coolest people I know.
That was a sidebar this is probably so confusing oops… okay I don’t know if I made this up but I strongly believe there was a little get together with dirty and excellence after that which left me craving some more FASA. I have such a terrible memory for a girl of only 20 years of age, but I definitely remember the feeling of wanting to hang out with these people way more than I was. That led me to apply to be an intern, which ended up changing the direction of the next year for me. Who knows where I’d be if I hadn’t decided to submit that application. Probably not on board this year and not as active as I am now, perhaps the Rossholes would have taken over. A scary thought. Hopefully I’m allowed to say Rosshole, Emily add asterisks here if necessary teehee.
**pretend there’s a pic of Teen Beach Movie night here, swear I had some but all I’ve got is Emily hugging a paper towel roll**
Wow, we look so young and naive. I don’t even know how to describe Teen Beach Movie night, but something hit me where I was like I can see myself getting to be really good friends with these people. Especially on that silent walk back to the CCTC. There was also a scary thought of us feeling like my dad and his college friends which gave me the heebie jeebies but is also kind of heartwarming. Now looking back, I have gotten to know those people and I am in fact really good friends with them so call me Raven Symone I think I’m psychic.
Elections were after that. Look at us, all elected and whatnot.
I’ll take this part of my little walk down memory lane to thank my Treasurer predecessors. Sam and Shane were such a big help when I joined the board and throughout this year, so major thank you to the two of you for being the best ever. The Treasurer position would have spontaneously combusted without Shane helping me throughout this year, so special thanks to King Shane. jkjk I’m very responsible 👀 Anyway, according to my camera roll battle was after that…
Us battling.
Now that I’m looking at these pics I remember Battle last year being where I got especially close to the homies. Megan, Therese, and I were in the trenches as we were ill and Kyle was getting through a bout of pink eye. Though our immune systems were weak, our friendships got strong. This year I’ve gotten especially close to those people and I’m very thankful we ended up in that hotel together. Love y’all homies xoxo
Fast forward to this year.
We look like we’d be talking to you and as soon as you turn around we’re talking about you LOL
This pic is from Boyne and so much has happened since then. I’m gonna fast-track my sentiments about the year in a leetle paragraph. I’ve spent hours and hours with FASA and I’ve loved every minute of it. Getting to hang out with all you FASA people gives me something to look forward to on the daily. I’ve grown a lot through this organization and for that I am thankful, and I look forward to continuing to grow over the next two years before I peace out and become famous. Seriously though this is such an amazing organization and I’m so glad I woke up from my dorm room nap to go to mass meeting last year.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this silly little walk through my camera roll and poor story telling. Here are a few more specific shoutouts:
@board, read this part like the scene in Bridesmaids where they do the toasts:
My dear FASA executive board, oh have I loved working with you. You’re the best team I’ve ever had, even better than my 7th grade basketball team. Really though we’ve created so many amazing events and programs for this organization and I’m so proud of everyone for the work we’ve done over the past year. I’m glad that you are the people that the FASA spirits brought together to create memories for the 134 members of this organization (it really is 134 I know because I am Treasurer). You’re the greatest ever, no joke, and I wish you the best in the rest of this journey we call life. Peace and love.
Bonus: BO4RDTOWN 4 LIFE
@FASA Official Paid Members, read this in a Southern accent:
You are the kindest, sweetest souls on this campus. I could not picture myself spending my time here at the University of Michigan with any other group of people. Never have I ever fit in a group better than I’ve fit in with FASA. You’ve made me laugh, you’ve made me cry (also from laughter), and I simply cannot wait to see what you make me do for the next two years.
** a small note specifically for Angelica Noelle Fandiño:
Lastly to my two nickels, SPARE CHANGE? 🪙❤️
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Note: English isn’t my first language. Hope you all like it. Please, give me your opinion with a reblog, fav or a note in my askbox :)
pairing: Louis!peaky blinders era x reader
warnings: explicit sex, unprotected sex (don't do that!), curse words, daddy kink, overstimulation, dirt talk, mention of jealousy, mention of astrology.
Words: 4k
talk with me | masterlist
Astrology
In my spare time I loved to read about astrology. It was a habit I adhered to since I was a teenager and now as an adult, it was my secret cringe.
So many times, the things described there met the personality traits of someone I knew and that made me believe it even more.
Sure, there were some holes in the script, but I had been in this world forever, so I just ignored that and kept it as a supposed truth and that was only affirmed when I met Louis.
Friends in common, I liked the way his accent sounded, a few drinks here and there, we shared the lighter to light the cigarette and ended up kissing at the end of the party at Calvin's house.
That was a year ago now.
I already knew all his quirks and as Louis lived more at my place than at his mansion here in London, he had to follow my rules, which was a little difficult even though he is Capricorn. Lately it was complicated to deal with him, because he seemed to ignore me and my weekly horoscope had already said that my relationship would be shaken by the smallest things and that I should be careful.
"Babe, don't leave your shoes like that. I already asked for them!" I complained as I placed our shoes side by side by the door. This was one of his manners that annoyed me deeply. "My friends will be here soon!"
"Nah." he muttered, not even looking at me.
I snorted and rolled my eyes, going to check the cheese and chocolate fondue I was preparing.
My friends Peter, Anne, Sam and Paul were coming over for happy hour. I am on vacation at work, an accounting office, so this is a perfect opportunity to hear what's new.
"Babe, is there any way to go to that grocery store down the street? I forgot that Anne has a gluten allergy and forgot to buy the gluten-free bagel." I stirred the melted cheese in the small pot on the stove.
No response from Louis.
Because my house is small, there's no way he couldn't hear me. I stretched my body back a little and in my half vision through the door, I could see that Louis was still concentrating on the smartphone game while gnawing on the corner of his left thumb.
I took another deep breath, it seemed that Louis became a child watching the games on the device and this was another flaw of his sign's characteristic, however I knew he was loyal and domineering, which eventually gave me an idea.
I turned off the stove and wrapped the fondues, putting them in the electric oven in warm-up mode so that they would not cool down.
My friends would arrive in half an hour, it was time to put my idea into practice.
I grabbed my purse, checked the pounds in my wallet, put on a sweatshirt and ran to the door.
"Luv, where are you going?" Louis asked without looking at me.
"Grocery store, babe." I put on my moccasins and closed the door.
It was dusk and for a change London was cold, for as soon as I passed the small gate in my driveway I sped to the grocery store.
As luck would have it, I found the guys a few meters from my house and ran to hug them.
"How are you, Y/N?" Sam, the blond girl with freckles and green eyes asked me as she released me from her hug.
"Fine! But I need a little help from all of you, specifically you, Paul and Anne." I pointed to them, who were inches away from me.
My couple of friends looked at me, Paul was a tall man with blue eyes, a muscular body and a beard. He was dating Anne, a tall, beautiful black woman with curly hair and honey-brown eyes with a mouth to envy.
"What happened?" Anne asked.
I explained to them that Louis seemed to be ignoring me as if I was just someone else working for him, but that he was the dominating type and so I wanted to tease him and see if we should continue with this relationship or if he was just distracted.
"I swear it won't go any further than that, I love Louis very much but this is killing me." I held the brown paper bag against me.
"Have you tried talking to him?" Peter suggested.
"Louis is a Capricorn, you know how it is. When he focuses on something, that's it." I rolled my eyes.
"That's fine with me, it will be fun watching a music star want to kill me because his wife wants me." Paul grabbed the bag from my hands and winked at me, and we laughed.
"It's fine with me too, you know I find it sexy to see men jealous." Anne winked at Paul, who closed his face, causing us to let out a few more low chuckles.
"I think there's a way we can help too." Sam put his arm around my neck and held Peter by the waist.
I had the best friends in the world.
"He simply came in halfway through the meeting with a huge mark on his neck. Emily wanted to climb the walls!" Peter commented on our co-worker.
We were all sitting on the floor of the room with the creams and fondue mixes on the coffee table. Louis was on my right side with black sweatpants and the jacket I loved so much, Paul was on my left side, next to him was Anne followed by Peter and Sam.
"But we know why Tom's nights out..." Sam looked at me suggestively and then looked at Anne. I straightened up waiting for what was to come.
Louis followed the conversation, sometimes hugging me around the waist and offering me something to eat. I just helped myself to a glass of red wine.
"Why?" Anne asked as if she didn't understand.
"Oh, you know, since the S/N went on vacation he has been gloomy, seems to have forgotten how to do calculations on the spreadsheets, and gets sad at lunchtime." Sam replied, alternating his gaze between Louis and me.
Louis, who was serving himself a piece of bread and cheese, grimaced, but said nothing.
"It's true, we know he's not over it yet."
I had the glass in my mouth trying to hold back the laugh I wanted to give.
"Get over what?" Louis asked me with a frown and I arched my shoulders, pretending not to know what they were referring to.
"Tom is in love with Y/N, Louis. Ever since she came to the office, he only has eyes for her." Anne answered by pouring herself some strawberry slices and pouring the melted chocolate on top. "You know, alluring and attractive men don't get over it so easily when they are dumped by a beautiful woman."
My eyes were watering from holding back tears of laughter. It was funny to imagine this situation, since Tom was a very well married gentleman, father of three children, and would soon be a grandfather.
"I'm going to get some more wine." I pushed myself to get up, because I needed to release the laughter that was stuck in me.
"I'll get it, babe." Paul took the glass from my hand, passing his hand through mine and stood up.
"Oh, thank you Paulie!" I smiled and sat back down.
Louis's face was red, he chewed angrily and stared at me. His blue eyes fixed on me in an uncomfortable way, as if he were reading my thoughts.
"What's up, babe?" I asked as Anne, Sam and Peter talked among themselves, I tried to stroke his face but he turned away.
"Nothing." he nodded, and I narrowed my eyes.
Paul returned with my full glass, I took it and thanked him again. Since I was sitting only on the carpet, I decided to do a little stretching. Purposefully, Paul looked at the open buttons of my black blouse that was thin and skinny long. Unconsciously, it was tighter than I usually wore which highlighted my breasts covered by the bra.
Louis seemed to notice, he huffed and ran his hand through his hair. I just ignored him and pretended to pay attention to my friends' conversation.
I felt his arm going around my shoulders and a few kisses on my neck, and I simply held myself together not to react, but it was so good his affection.
"We were talking about Tom before and now I remembered, can you believe that every day he comes into your office and wipes down your desk and computer?" Sam was sharp in the theater, I just wanted to thank her for that.
"And I'll tell you something else, he takes his shoes off before he comes in. " Peter continued.
Broadway was losing these actors to an accounting office. Louis leaned back on one of the sofas and crossed his arms with a brave expression.
"Tom has always been very nice to me." I commented, swirling the rest of the wine in my glass. "But I don't know..."
"I don't know, Y/N?" Louis spoke a little louder, turning his face abruptly to me.
"Yes, Tom is a nice guy but he is the kind of guy who ignores things I say, he was not organized and sometimes we almost missed deadlines... If he is like that at work, who will say to have a relationship with him."
I drank the rest of the wine and almost saw Louis erupt.
"Nothing beyond that stays between you?" I looked at Sam, who put his hand over his mouth, holding back his laughter, as did Anne, Paul, and Peter.
"Nah. " I repeated Louis' murmur from earlier and repeated his motion, leaning back against the couch behind me.
He ran his fingers through his bangs and chuckled gracelessly, denying it with his head. I narrowed my eyes in surprise at his reaction.
"It's getting late isn't it? Want some help cleaning up, petal?" Paul stroked my arm.
"I'll help my girl, Paulie." Louis imitated my voice when I called him and stared at Paul's hand on my arm, moving his mouth as if he were dissatisfied.
We talked some more, Louis was still silent and crossed his arms, his legs intertwined with each other and swinging rapidly.
I knew that Louis was about to explode, so I said goodbye to the guys who thanked me for the evening. Paul gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. They motioned for me to tell them by text what was going to happen, I silently agreed and closed the door.
Louis had gotten up and was removing things from the coffee table. I started to organize the room and finished taking the last dishes to the sink.
"You and this Tom guy, have you ever had anything?" Louis was sponging one of the dishes. His sleeves were rolled up, which gave me a view of the tattoos on his wrist that I liked so much.
I poured myself the rest of the wine and leaned back against the sink where he was standing.
"We only went out together once." Which was true, but it was with the rest of the office and nothing happened because his wife accompanied us and I saw him as a father or even an uncle. I would stay in my tantrum, yes, he was the one who should end his.
"Hm." Louis answered.
"Why the question?"
Louis remained silent, washing the dishes as if it were the most fun thing in the world.
"Louis? If I asked a question, I want an answer." I said angrily, tired of the tantrum.
He continued in silence. I took a deep breath trying to oxygenate my brain and continued to stare at him.
I drank the rest of the wine and left the glass in the sink. I walked slowly to the door, still trying to remain calm.
"Where are you going?" Louis asked.
I just turned and smiled, raising my two middle fingers in his direction.
"Fuck you!" I shouted nervously, pointing at him.
Without waiting for his response, I headed towards my room, but within three steps I felt something pulling me, two cold, wet hands.
Louis might be shorter than most men, but he still possessed great strength.
In one swift movement, I felt him turn me around and my back hit the wall to my right and my head bounced, causing me to grunt in pain.
Louis pressed his body against mine, my hands went up to push his chest.
"I don't want to talk, Louis." I said annoyed, almost in tears already.
"What's up, luv? Your babe wants to know... "Louis brushed his nose across my neck, soon after caressing my face by turning and pulling it slightly to the opposite side, my eyes automatically closed."What were those teasing things earlier?"
My body stiffened, I couldn't hide anything from him.
"Let go of me. " I asked, still pushing him slightly, but it came out more like a groan.
Louis let out a small laugh and began to distribute wet kisses down my neck, sometimes my body betrayed me and shivered.
Louis's right hand, which previously held my waist, lifted my blouse to gain access to the skin of my belly and with a rush, held my right breast, massaging it lovingly.
"I'm sure my girl is getting wet..." His warm breath hitched against the cartilage of my left ear. "You like to tease me by showing off those luscious breasts, but in the end you're all mine, aren't you?"
I groaned as if in agreement. My hands, which before had been pushing her breasts, had moved to her back, scratching the white fabric.
"Who's my little whore? Hm?" His teeth went to my jaw, scraping it lightly, and then down to my neck where I felt pressure being applied.
Oh, hell! He was marking me.
"I-I-I..." I answered weakly and brushed my crotch against his.
My body arched and I held on to his arms, I could already feel the throbbing in between my legs as they buckled.
"My silly little girl!" He moved a few inches away from me and I opened my eyes, staring at Louis's long lashes in front of his blue orbs that were almost covered by his dilated pupils. "I saw what you did with the whole Tom and Paulie thing."
When I regained consciousness, I bit my lower lip and smiled mischievously, returning my hands to his back.
"What are you going to do about it, stud?" I teased.
Louis's hands went around my waist as he made a point of kissing me fiercely and hotly. My hands grabbed his face, pulling him to me, afraid that he would just stop and leave me there, hot and needy for his touch.
His hands went down to unbutton my jeans and unzip me. I let out a moan in anticipation and I could feel him smile in the middle of the kiss.
Louis pulled away from me and spun me around, placing me face down against the wall.
"Louis..." I moaned softly, thrusting my ass toward him.
I felt his pelvis fit over my ass and his member was already hardening, I tried to make more contact, but his hands on my waist stopped me.
"I know, luv... I want you too." I felt his chest against my back as I closed my eyes and rested my head on the wall and pressed my hands against it, trying to support myself. "I want to feel your pussy squeezing my cock as I fuck you very slowly, because I know you like to feel my cock pulsing in you."
I was already dizzy, biting my lower lip trying to hide my moans, until Louis pulled away and his hands hooked on the hem of my jeans and pulled them down.
"Spread your legs, Darlin'"
I did as he cried out, with a little difficulty because my jeans were still binding my legs and the state of my panties was embarrassing.
His hand slid up and down my ass, and then slapped me with his open hand, which made me jump in surprise.
"My girl doesn't like to be neglected, huh?" Shivers ran through me, my breathing was heavy and my brows furrowed and more slaps came, making my skin burn and my eyes water. "You get needy for my cock when I don't fuck you, don't you?"
In one swift act, my panties were keeping company with my jeans. I pushed my hips even higher, rubbing one leg against the other in an effort to relieve the agony my clit felt.
"Daddy will take care of you, luv!" I heard some noises and then the glorious sensation of Louis's hot tongue running over my pussy.
"Louis!" I moaned loudly and his breath hitched against my exposed intimacy as he let out a laugh. His hands grabbed my thighs and spread them even further apart, leaving me wide open for him.
Louis's tongue ran from my sensitive spot to my entrance, sucking and licking. I swayed my hips trying to get closer, but whenever I did he laughed and ran just the tip of it all the way over. My eyes rolled back and a vibration came in the pit of my stomach.
He didn't last long there, but the sound of my wetness clicking on his tongue was something out of reality.
"Babe, please..." My right arm kept pushing against the wall while my left was bent and I massaged my breasts, trying to relieve myself somehow.
"What's wrong, kitten?" Louis groaned and blew against me.
I turned my head to the side and Louis had stood up, taking off his sweatpants along with his underwear and his white jacket, and threw them on the floor beside us.
"Daddy..." I murmured.
Louis' member was hard, and with the glans of his member shiny and pink, his left hand wrapped around it, going up and down slowly. Louis stroked my ass with his free hand, his lower lip was biting and his head eventually fell back as he sighed.
He knew how sexy I found the veins in his hands tensing up and showing as he played with his cock. The tattoos on his wrist added a special touch.
"Lucky for you I want to get it over with, luv... Otherwise you'd have to beg me to fuck you..." He spoke as his cock touched me, dragging and teasing me, making me almost fall to my knees on the floor. "I'm going to fuck your little pussy so hard, babe? I want to hear you moan for the rest of the night, do you want to feel my cock all the way in here?" His finger ran across my entrance, giving me mini shocks in that area.
I mumbled the only sound left in my throat. I turned my face forward and leaned my forehead against the wall. He knew how much I melted for his dirt talk.
My arm against the wall was aching, my forehead was sweaty, and my legs were almost giving way from the way they trembled.
Louis launched himself inside me without warning, burying his wet member until his balls slammed against my clit.
A scream tore through my throat, my nails digging into the wall. Louis didn't even give me time to get used to it, he immediately began thrusting against me. Back and forth, thrusting hard and trying to go all the way in. I was panting as was he, my eyes still closed, enjoying his member filling me.
I turned my face to the side opening my eyes and I could cum right there at the sight, my heart throbbed even more seeing Louis with his nails digging into my hips, his tattooed chest and arms tensed tightly and his head relaxed back with his mouth ajar.
"Fuck!" My eyelids fluttered and I could feel the anguish in my uterus rising.
"My girl is so hot, so warm and tight ... oh!" Louis went down again and if it wasn't for the euphoria, I could feel him almost ripping me in half with his cock slamming against my uterus.
I tilted my head back and one of Louis' hands grabbed my loose hair and formed a sort of ponytail. His hand forced my neck, causing my body to arch and my ass to bulge even more.
My back began to ache as his hipbones crashed against my muscles, he had never caught me this way before and I was already addicted to it. Louis let go of my hair and went back to kneading the sides of my hips.
I put my arm in front of me and bit down on it, feeling my face hit him lightly with the thrusts, my throat aching with the moans, and Louis murmured my name as he tried to sink even deeper inside me.
"Whose pussy is this, babe? Who fucks it hard and the way you like it?" Louis, still not stopping his thrusts, rotated his hips and a wave of ecstasy hit me at the cervix. My pussy clenching rapidly, I was getting there. Louis fucked me so fast that I couldn't even scream.
"You, babe! Only you, Louis!" I spoke softly and felt him kiss me on my back.
"Are you sure, babygirl?" Louis teased and again I felt his chest against my spine.
His cock was halfway out of me and seconds later I was already missing him, which didn't last long as I pushed my hips back against him, burying his cock back into me. I stood on my tiptoes and his member reached the hidden spot that Louis sometimes managed to reach.
"Come on my cock, babe! Because I'm going to mark you, fill you with my milk... Do you want it, my naughty little girl?"
My breath came out of my lungs in a sharp intake of breath. My body exploded inside, shuddering as Louis forced himself to orgasm. Small jolts ran through me, and the ground no longer seemed to be beneath my feet.
My man's nails sank into my skin, his thrusts became sloppy and a loud moan came from Louis' chest, his cock swelled even more inside me and I felt hot spurts fill me, joining my liquid. He groaned loudly and his hands gripped my waist tightly, easing the grip seconds later. Violent trembling came over my knees, causing me to close my eyes in shame as Louis continued inside me and hugged me from behind.
"What's up, Luv? Did I hurt you?" He pushed my hair away from my sweaty, flushed face. Louis kissed the top of my head and I could feel some shocks from the orgasm still being delivered and the delicious feeling of having him inside me.
I nodded positively and then negatively, answering his questions.
"Sorry about the last few days, I was so distracted, thinking about the new album, and then I realized that I didn't do the right thing to the point where my perfect girl insinuated herself to our friend and they talked about some guy at work."
"How did you find out?" I lay my face against the wall, feeling the frosty, chilling cold on my face. I was tired, almost closing my eyes.
"I know you, darlin'... You can't lie, your sign says so."
I covered my face in shame that he knew my shameful secret. Louis pulled his member out of me and already I felt it go limp, Louis tightened his embrace around my buttocks and his arms wrapped around mine, tucking me in.
"Thanks for not giving up on your Capricorn. He'll pay more attention to his girl."
I nodded and turned around, kissing him slowly, feeling his tongue caress mine calmly and tenderly. He was everything to me, giving him up would be the last thing I would ever do.
I pulled away still hugging him and could see his sweaty bangs.
"Thanks for the sex against the wall, it was amazing." I blinked, placing a kiss on his chin.
"Maybe tomorrow you'll rethink it." His face turned into a smile, kissing my cheeks.
I stared at him even longer, not understanding his statement.
"Uh... I may or may not have left some... marks." He gave me his best puppy dog face, squeezed my ass, and kissed my neck lightly.
I rolled my eyes eagerly to see these possible marks.
"All right, they're marks from my Capricorn..." I said, kissing him and jumping on his lap. "But if you ignore me again, you won't have sex against the wall or anywhere else." I shook his shoulder to get his attention and he agreed.
"No more Capricorn stuff!" He promised, raising his right hand.
Astrology thing or not, I loved the guy standing in front of me.
#louis tomlinson#louis tomlinson one shot#louis tomlinson blurb#louis tomlinson smut#louis tomlinson fluff#louis tomlinson x reader#louis tomlinson imagines#louis tomlinson fanfic#harry styles smut#harry styles#liam payne#liam payne smut#one direction
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Undeserving (Deserve Better Part 2)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You confront Bucky about his decision to abandon you.
Word Count: 2,868
Warnings: More angst lmao I’m sorry for this
A/N: Honestly struggled with this because 1) I couldn’t decide on how to end it and 2) I was pressured from the feedback I got from Deserve Better. I’m not entirely happy with how this came out and initially, I planned on doing an epilogue for those who’d prefer a different ending but decided against it. Anyway, if you guys have more questions about this, send me an ask! I’d love to discuss more about this lol luv u all as always. Feedbacks are highly appreciated and I hope this was good enough for y’all who enjoyed Deserve Better xoxo
Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best
MAIN MASTERLIST
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You chose to stay.
Despite seeing the love of your life— whom you had waited for years— in the arms of another, you stayed at the gala. It was after all, to honor Steve’s legacy and you respected him enough not to walk away and miss out on the speeches given by people dearest to him, Bucky included of course.
You weren’t sure if he had seen you and the way your eyes brimmed with tears when everything finally made sense to you. He wasn’t far from you when you stopped in your tracks, mouth parting as a soft whimper escaped past your lips.
You had never imagined that heartbreak could be so physically painful. And it wasn’t the regular pain you’d feel after an intense workout or when you scraped your knee. The hurt was different, like your heart was being tightly squeezed into someone else’s palm. It was choking you, constricting you of oxygen as if you were drowning. No matter how much you tried to reach the surface, the pain just kept on pulling you down until there was nothing but darkness and well, pain.
Once the program was over and all the guests were left to mingle, you carefully slipped out of the crowd. Mindlessly, you walked and walked and walked until your feet began to hurt from the heels you were wearing. When the cold and crisp air of the evening embraced you, it was then that you realized that you reached the compound’s garden, just behind the main hall where the gala was happening.
The quiet gave you time to think and process everything that had happened. Bucky left to find himself and to become better, that he did. And you waited only to discover that he’d been back for quite a while now but chose to be with another.
As you looked out in front of you, your vision turned blurry as a new wave of tears escaped your eyes. Your grief had resurfaced after repressing it for so, so long. Grief from Bucky’s goodbye, from his absence and from waiting, grief from seeing him with someone else; no matter the cause, all in all it was grief nonetheless.
Bucky’s soft voice calling your name echoed in the evening air, it was so soft that you almost thought that you were hallucinating. But then he’d called you again, using the pet name that used to make your stomach flip and your heart to flutter. It still had the same effect now, you realized, only that it came along with an immense amount of pain that made your blood boil.
Hearing Bucky call you that, it almost felt like poison. It was quiet, gentle even but it left a bitter taste in your mouth as you felt its venom run through your veins until you could no longer feel anything but pain.
“Doll—“
“Don’t.” you seethed and turned around, pointing a shaky finger right at Bucky. “Don’t call me that when you’re with someone else, James.”
Bucky flinched at the way you had addressed him. You saw how his face faltered upon seeing you like this. His vibranium arm was restless against his side, as if he wanted to reach out to you but knew better than to do so.
“I waited for you!” you spat.
If he found somebody else to become better for, he could at least let you know. But he didn’t and you needed to know why he chose to abandon you. You needed it so badly, for your own peace of mind. For closure. You deserved that, at least.
“I’m sorry, I—“
“No, you don’t get to say your side until I’m done with mine!” you insisted. “I have every right to be selfish right now. I can choose to lash out on you or refuse to even listen to whatever your reason is for abandoning me no matter how valid it is. I fucking deserve that, Bucky.”
Bucky closed his mouth and nodded; you hated how he was staring at you as if he just lost his moonlight, as if he still loved you. If he did, you wouldn’t be confronting him like this and you wouldn’t have seen him with someone else.
“When Steve told me that you disappeared, when it felt like there was no way to bring everyone back, I waited. It didn’t feel right for me to move on from you just like that and deep inside I knew that you were going to return. Five years, Buck. I waited five years for nothing.” you said quietly, recalling how devastating those five years were.
You didn’t know what would happen then, nobody knew. Would they still come back? The chances were slim and yet you trusted your gut and decided to remain hopeful. It wasn’t easy to wait for something or someone that may never come back. But you still did and it never even crossed your mind that you may just be wasting your time.
You let out a breathy chuckle, “And then you came back and I felt alive again. But then you said goodbye.” you pursed your lips in an attempt to hold back your tears but to no avail.
It took you a while to collect yourself and Bucky let you, until you spoke again and told him how much it destroyed you when he walked away from you.
“Everyone else told me that I shouldn’t wait. Not again after those five years. But it felt easier this time around because you told me you wanted to get better. For me. And I was excited, Bucky.” you told him with a chuckle. “I was excited to see your return. I looked forward to how we’d spend our time together when you come back, if you’d cut your hair. If you’d wear the same cologne that I loved.”
A smile tugged at your lips as you recalled those times you daydreamed about Bucky’s return. The wait was agonizing but it gave you something to look forward to. At least you weren’t waiting for nothing anymore. Bucky was leaving but only temporarily, you were sure he’d come back. But the smile vanished as soon as it appeared and before you knew it, you were sobbing again.
“And now you’re back and so much better. But you aren’t mine anymore.”
At this point, your grief had consumed you both physically and mentally. You knees wobbled but you didn’t hit the ground, no. Instead, there was warmth against your skin followed by the smell of a certain cologne, enveloping the air around you. Bucky caught you in his arms and he held you tight as you cried into him.
“Shh, doll. I’m here now.” he whispered before pressing a kiss onto your crown.
As much as it felt right to be in Bucky’s embrace, it wasn’t enough to overcome the betrayal he did. You groaned in frustration and pushed him away, stepping back and hugging yourself instead.
“Why?” you asked quietly.
“I need to know why and how we came to this.” you asked, almost begged for Bucky to give you the closure you badly needed.
Bucky ran a hand through his hair as he paced before you, his cheeks stained with his own tears. “I came back for you.” he said.
You frowned, “When?”
“I couldn’t wait to see you again and as soon as I got back, I went straight to your office. But then you weren’t working there anymore, I found out that you finally landed your dream job at the law firm.” he said with a small smile. “I was so proud when I heard that. I was supposed to go to your apartment but something came up and I needed to meet with Sam first. Weekend came and I was on my way to your place when I saw you. And you were with someone else and you looked....happier, the happiest I’d seen you.”
Something clicked and you quickly shook your head, “Andy. No, he’s not...we were never together. This is a misunderstanding, Bucky. He and I were never—“
“I know.” Bucky admitted.
“What?” You asked, voice soft from utter confusion.
“You looked happy with him, not because of him. I know you weren’t in love with him because if you were, you would have looked at him the same way you’re looking at me now.” He explained sadly.
Hearing Bucky’s explanation made you angrier. If he knew that, then why did he still leave? What reason could be bigger than that to make Bucky wake up one day and decide that he no longer wants to come back to you?
If he knew you loved him so much to actually wait, why did he leave you like that?
Your brows creased, “If that’s not the reason, then what?”
Bucky shrugged, “I realized that you didn’t deserve me. I left to better myself for you, god I really did. But when I saw you and how you managed to be successful without me by your side, I figured that you were better off without me. I thought I got better, but seeing you again looking so beautiful, happy and just...maybe I’ll never be the right one for you.”
You bitterly chuckled at Bucky’s revelation, “This doesn’t make any sense to me, Bucky. You chose to abandon me because you thought I was happier without you?”
You felt offended that Bucky even thought of that. Did he not trust you when you told him you’d wait for him? He didn’t even show up to tell you that, to give you the chance to reassure him how much you love him. He just decided that it was better for him to leave you hanging?
“That’s bullshit, Bucky.” you spat. “You left me hanging because you thought you were weighing me down and the next time I see you, you’re with Sharon now. Who by the way, used to date your best friend. I don’t understand any of this.” you told him.
Bucky looked at the ground as he evened out his breathing. There were a few seconds of silence between the two of you. Only heavy breaths and the distant sound of the music from the gala lingered in the air. It was almost comforting. Almost.
“Sharon and I...it wasn’t easy for us when Steve left. It was something that we both had in common. We wanted to fix ourselves and in the process we just...it happened. I didn’t mean for it but it just happened.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
The pain was replaced with grief and then anger. A little sympathy was thrown in the mix too upon hearing Bucky’s reason but now you were back to square one. Pain.
“You worried for her when Steve left but didn’t worry about me when you chose to leave me hanging? You told me you needed to fix yourself alone because you didn’t want to hurt me in the process of doing so. Guess what, Bucky? You hurt me all the same. Even more so when you chose to stay for Sharon and when you allowed her to help you fix yourself.”
Bucky remained silent as he simply gazed at you and let you say your piece. You just couldn’t understand where he truly was coming from. You knew about his insecurities and you accepted each one of them. You’d wholeheartedly accepted Bucky from the moment you knew you loved him, that included his flaws and demons, even on days he hated himself.
“Don’t shut me out like that again, please?” You asked Bucky, when he finally let you inside his room after isolating himself for days.
He had those days, when he couldn’t bring himself to come out and just...live. He’d push people away and torture himself with negative thoughts. But you always stayed no matter what.
“‘m sorry doll, I just...sometimes...I love you so much but sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough of it to actually show you. And you don’t deserve that.” He explained.
You smiled and cupped his cheek, “That’s okay, Bucky. I love you and the amount of love I have for you is more than enough for both of us.”
Was your love not enough for him all along? For him not to consider how you would feel if he just decided not to come home to you anymore? You shouldn’t be blaming yourself for everything, you did your part. But you couldn’t help but wonder whether it was because of you that Bucky chose to walk away.
“I love you, I really do. And you deserve the best and I’m not...that. I chose to let you go so you can have that.”
“I don’t need the best version of you, Bucky!” You quickly cut him off. “I just need you.” You added.
When Bucky decided to leave to get better, you let him even though you hated to see him walk away. You’d be selfish not to, especially when Bucky was finally free to decide things for himself. It was for the best, but honestly speaking, you didn’t want a better version of him.
Whether it was the Winter Soldier or James Buchanan Barnes, whatever version of him he’d give to you, you love Bucky all the same.
You love Bucky so much that it was so painful for you to hear that he actually thought you’d be happier without him.
“You don’t deserve someone as damaged as me. Even if I got better, I’m still struggling and I don’t want to make things hard for you.” Bucky said.
“And you don’t get to decide what you think I deserve! You don’t get to abandon me like I was nothing, like we were nothing to you.” You seethed.
Bucky looked away, blinking his tears away as he tried to compose himself. His jaw tensed as he looked at you with an apologetic gaze.
“You shouldn’t have waited for me. You didn’t have to.” He said the same thing to you when he left, and it hurt just as much.
“I love you. I’ll wait, Bucky.” You murmured and tugged at his hand before he could even let you go.
Bucky smiled sadly at you, “You don’t have to, doll.”
You shook your head and brought Bucky’s hand to your lips as you cried, “I want to. And I will.”
“I know. But in all those years you were gone, I woke up each day and chose to wait for you. I always chose you, Bucky.” You said with a sad smile.
You stumbled a bit and lifted your dress enough to reveal your bleeding foot. You’d walked that long, for your feet to get wounded and ironically, you couldn’t feel anything but the pain of seeing Bucky again. He tried to approach you and help you out but you waved a hand and kept him at an arm’s length away from you. You removed your shoes and straightened up, looking at Bucky and his ocean blue eyes for one last time.
“I’m sorry if you felt like you weren’t enough. You’re more than enough for me, Bucky. I really thought that I could love and fight for the both of us, but I guess not.”
Bucky didn’t say anything else, and you hoped he would. It might have been pathetic of you to wish that he’d come back to you, but you really hoped he would say something to fight for you. He didn’t and that was enough for you to make a decision.
“Goodbye, Bucky.”
You bit your lower lip as you turned around, holding back your tears as you jogged back into the gala. You walked past everyone in the crowd in a hurry, wanting to head home as quickly as possible. And then you came face to face with someone you weren’t prepared to confront.
It’s as if time stopped when you saw her, Sharon. She must have found out about your presence. Did she know of Bucky’s decision to abandon you? You wondered how she helped Bucky better himself, why he let her stay as he fixed himself.
Why Bucky chose to be with her instead of coming home to you.
You could feel your chest constrict again, the pain continuing to consume you whole. If you stayed any longer, you were afraid you might break.
“Do you love him?” You asked her softly.
Without missing a beat, Sharon nodded her head. “I do.” She whispered.
“How much?” You asked again.
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.” Sharon responded and you could feel the sincerity in her statement.
The way she said it wasn’t meant to hurt you nor mock you. It was reassuring, in fact. Like she was making you a promise that she was going to take good care of Bucky the same way you did. Maybe even more. You swallowed as you nodded, forcing a small smile before looking away to wipe a tear that slipped.
“That’s good.” You simply said. “Because I’d do anything for him too.”
Anything. Even if that meant walking away and giving up on a battle that you’d already lost the moment Bucky decided to abandon you.
-
Everything Bucky Tag List:
@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @tcc-gizmachine @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi
Deserve Better Special Tags:
@nervous-plant @wintersfilm
#bbbwrites#oneshots: bucky barnes#bucky barnes#bucky#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky barnes angst#bucky angst#sebastian stan
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“it all comes down to the soul(s) in the end”: or, characters make the story work, and not the other way around
outing myself yet again as a dabb era critical blog here but. i just think the difference between carver era and dabb era is that carver era was character-arc driven while dabb era was overarching-main-plot driven with some good character moments thrown in (which may be to do with the fact that - iirc - during carver era for a while they didn’t know if they’d get renewed so they couldn’t plan too far ahead and just progressed the story by increments, as opposed to dabb era knowing they had a longer time frame to work with and deciding the plot beforehand).
the thing is, i think most of us can agree that after the kripke era - which, for all its flaws and setbacks (hello writers’ strike), had a self-contained myth arc involving both an internally coherent narrative and certain well-defined character beats - and going into the gamble “hot girl summer but make it angst” era, the appeal of supernatural relies largely on the characters. it has to, because for a show to keep running after 6-7 seasons, you have to be invested not just in the story/stories being told, but in the people driving the story forward. it simply won’t work otherwise.
and - to my perception at least - the carver era (perhaps largely due to ben edlund’s imprint in s8, lbr) knew that. some examples of what i mean:
it gave dean an arc about dealing with the toxicity of his upbringing and his unhealthy attachment to sam, as well as starting to explore other meaningful relationships for himself (benny, charlie, and of course him continuously reaching out to cas) - essentially it allowed dean to confront that he wanted things.
it gave sam an arc about dealing with his trauma re: demon blood, and having to confront what it means to be good, how he always felt impure through no fault of his own - and it shifted him over into accepting that his calling in life is as a keeper of lore and mentor to other people, by contrasting the failure of the sam/amelia relationship with him finding the bunker and discovering a different part of the hunting world
it forced cas to confront what he wants for himself, by making him deal with his own changing nature (being human, then an angel again, and the whole arc about living on borrowed grace), and with the other angels falling and what that meant for him; he got the chance to be on his own and be with the winchesters, to both make mistakes and be a leader to other angels - and then give up that leadership by choice because he prioritised his human family to his reputation in heaven (which should have been a clear indication of endgame human cas but i digress)
it brought in compelling new characters - primarily charlie and kevin, though they were both horrendously mistreated by bucklemming writing them off - claire novak as an angry teenager, aaron and his golem, metatron as a fascinatingly meta (ha) antagonist, rowena as a frenemy, and gave old characters compelling story beats (crowley and his “humanity addiction”). also, it had writers like robbie thompson who were attuned to the fan community in an unprecedented way.
with the dabb era, i feel like because they’d set their mind on where the story was going (e.g.: killing dean, having a new and “better” god in place, giving sam a white picket fence ending) they didn’t really care if they had to break the protagonists’ characterisation to get us there. we still had moments of great characterisation - steve yockey episodes first and foremost, and of course robert berens carrying the dean/castiel beats - but mostly, characterisation came second to what the story would need. this is how we get dean winchester, friend and protector to kids everywhere, being A-Okay with sacrificing a kid he supposedly cares about, not once but several times over, because the plot needed Emotional Stakes™️.
(and this, by and large, is my issue with jack as a character too, because he spends so much of his time on the show so clearly being a plot device - a literal deus ex machina - that he ends up being not very compelling to me. “but baby jack!” i hear you say. and yes, yes, he’s cute and i like him, but listen -- his characterisation reads as a blank slate because ultimately that’s what the narrative needs from him - and there’s a whole separate post i could make on that, really).
but i think the main problem is that the endgame the dabb era had in mind conflicted openly with the stakes they had set up in the carver era - and that the most attuned writers kept up with even in seasons 12-15, which is why the finale felt as stridently wrong as it did (other than being ridiculously badly written). by which i mean:
dean was set up as wanting something more for himself, more than hunting and violence, and we see that in moments - but it’s not what he ends up getting. additionally, he spends so much of seasons 8-10 breaking down his toxic traits, and then bam - suddenly, he’s turned into john 2.0, because the story demands it.
sam was set up to become a new kind of hunter, one with a men of letters background, and find happiness in the life - so you get a side plot where he successfully organises and leads a group of hunters - but ultimately he leaves all that behind and abandons the bunker (and eileen, his natural companion going forward).
cas was set up as choosing humanity over heaven because that’s where he wants to be, and choosing to become a hunter because he wants to be useful and do good - but that gets boiled down to “cas is still an angel but now he’s Also A Dad and that’s his one purpose in life now” (i’m sorry, i am not here for the hot take of “jack is good for cas because he can’t just revolve around dean”. first of all, that’s a disservice to cas’s character over the seasons, and second of all-- oh but it’s ok for cas to just revolve around jack? it don’t make no cents luv!)
i don’t think story-driven eras are inherently bad. i enjoyed seasons 1-5, but they take place when we’re still getting to know the characters; and there is a certain evolution for them there that you may like or dislike, but it makes narrative sense for them. but if you decide to go forward into a new era with well-established and beloved characters, you have to know who the characters are and what they want or your story will always ring hollow. the main problem i have with the dabb era is that it decided the story it wanted to tell - and didn’t stop to consider whether the characters living it out would actually organically fit into it. and isn’t that chuck’s whole mistake?
#spn#meta#spn meta#supernatural#dabb critical#team free will#my meta#mp#ambra.txt#in short: carver era my beloved. you committed some atrocities but i forgive you#big BIG thanks to tierney for watching me work out a shorter version of this in real time#tier i'm tagging you just in case you want to see me ramble even HARDER about this#katebushstandean#will i get cancelled for being critical of jack? stay tuned to find out#long post#long post for ts
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Hate (Sam Wilson x F! reader)
A/N: So, Danny and I are already in the end of the semester time, so sorry if we don't update as usual. but thanks for reading, lots of luv
Words: 1,477
Twoidiots Masterlist
"You have to talk to Steve," says the girl.
"About what?" Bucky asks, leaving his book aside.
"The mission. It’s something very simple, we can do it. You and I," She answers making a face.
He laughs.
"It's not that, I don't like leaving Sam here, but I’m curious. What do you have against him?"
"You're kidding, right?" Bucky frowns and she scowls. "Sam hates me and I don't want to spend hours in a quinjet in awkward silence," She crosses her arms.
"What are you talking about? Sam doesn't hate anyone on the team."
"Except for me," she growls.
"Oh please —”
“What about the other night? At Tony's party. Sam was telling a very interesting and funny story, he had everyone delighted, but as I got closer, he ended the story with a bang and fled. It was pretty obvious. Even Steve asked me if we had a problem...”
“You're right, that was weird. But I don't think it's hate."
"Buck..."
“I'm sorry, it's just that— I have a hard time thinking that he could hate you. He’s always cool with everyone and always has a smile on his face. It's quite disturbing at times..."
“With me it's different. He hates me. I don't know what I did to upset him. When we met, everything was normal, I even thought that —"
"What?"
She shakes her head and sighs.
"I thought we were friends."
“Maybe you should talk to him. Don't tell him this, but he's good at giving advice and listening,” He adds.
"It’s better if you talk to Steve," She begs looking at him.
Bucky sighs.
"I'll see what I can do, but I don't promise anything."
"Thanks, Buck."
Bucky couldn't convince Steve.
He just brought it up and before the blonde could finish saying 'I don't think that's a good idea' Bucky had already given up.
When he told the girl the news, he lied saying that he had spent an hour talking to the captain.
Now the two of them are walking up the ramp of the quinjet and it doesn't take long for Sam to join. The man puts both hands on the super soldier's shoulders.
"Hey, Ex Machina. Ready to kick some butts?" He says laughing.
"The only ass I'll ever kick will be yours if you touch me again, Wilson," Bucky warns.
"Hey, save the killer sense for the bad guys," continues Sam removing his hands.
His smile disappears immediately when he sees the girl.
"Hello, (Y/N)," He says and then enters the ship.
"see? He even smiles when he bothers you!” She complains.
"This mission will last forever," Bucky groans.
**
The quinjet returns to the Avengers compound when everyone is asleep.
"I can't believe you turned a rescue mission in a monumental disaster, (Y/N)," growls Sam.
They both walk quickly towards the hallways of the compound. She ignores him, gritting her teeth and holding back the tears.
"How can you be so irresponsible?"
"Sam, enough," says Bucky running towards them. He knows this will end worse if he doesn't stop it.
"No, nothing like that," Sam points out and takes the girl's hand to stop her. He forces her to turn around. "I want to know why you did it."
"Are you kidding?" She growls. "If it weren't for me, you'd be dead, Wilson."
"No, Bucky was ready to watch my back. If it weren't for you, we could save the hostages without being discovered,” He says, raising his voice.
"Just forget it, okay? No one was hurt to death, leave me alone,” She tries to leave, but Sam stops her again.
“How do you want me to forget that you risked your life for something that wasn't going to happen? You're right, no one died today, but if they let you go on missions again, that’s no longer a certainty!"
"Sam!" yells Bucky.
(Y/N) removes her hand from the man's grasp, she’s crying.
"Fuck you, Sam!" She walks away.
**
"You have five minutes to vent before I make you talk to her," says Bucky arriving at the gym where Sam finishes his workout.
"What?" He asks putting his things in a bag.
“Don't act like an idiot. You know what I'm talking about,” He reaches his side and crosses his arms.
Sam rolls his eyes.
"What do you want me to say, man?"
“Why do you hate (Y/N)?
"What?"
"You should go get your ears checked," Bucky growls
“I don't hate her. I could never,” says Sam.
"She thinks you hate her, and after the mission, you only confirmed her suspicions."
Sam sighs.
"Yes, I know. I know I overdid myself that night. I'm sorry."
"It doesn't seem like you are."
"It's not that simple, Buck."
"You just have to talk, damn it!. This happens to me for meddling, I won’t do it again," He says and hits Sam’s arm
"Why was that? I thought we had already gone through this phase!” He complains.
"Talk to her. Now. Before it gets worse. Who knows when I'll get another chance,” he says and then walks towards the exit.
"Another chance for what?" Sam asks, but Bucky ignores him. "Buck! ...I’ll have to sleep with one eye open… again."
**
"Hey," says Sam outside Y/N’s room.
She lifts her head and her body tenses when he sees who it is.
"What do you want?" She says and then turns her back on him. She keeps packing clothes in a suitcase. Sam frowns at her.
"You’ll go too?"
"The others still think I can help out on missions," She mutters.
"Uh, yeah. About that...” says Sam nervous. He enters the room. "Can we talk?"
"I'm busy," she answers ignoring him.
Sam begins to lose his patience. He doesn't want to rush and ruin everything, but her attitude only makes him more nervous.
"I don't hate you."
That makes her actions stop. "What?"
"I don't hate you, (Y/N)," He gets closer. "I could never do it."
She frowns.
“So why do you act so strange when you see me? You run away from me as if I had a disease and you never joke with me as you do with others."
"Uh-I, yeah. I can explain it,” He says. She raises an eyebrow and puts her full attention on him. Sam sighs and tries to collect his thoughts. "No — it's not easy...”
"Sam," she says quietly and he looks back. "Be honest, please."
"I can't control myself when you're around," He begins. "That’s never happened to me. Normally, I'm very good with women,” He chuckles nervously. “I don’t joke with you because I'm afraid of overdoing myself and that somehow it’ll bother you and you won't want to be by my side. I've always used humor for everything, but when I see you, it's like my brain pushes a button to make me look stupider than I am and I can't control it. What frustrates me the most is that you have no idea of the power you have over me. It’s only enough for me to see you or someone say your name and it takes me down. I'm sorry for what I said on the mission, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was scared at the idea that I could lose you...”
"I—I'm sorry too..." She stammers. "When I saw that man pointing at you, I panicked... you're right, I didn't think of the plan and I almost ruined everything—"
"Hey no," He takes her hand. “You should not blame yourself for that, it has happened to all of us, we want to protect the team. I was an idiot to yell at you, I'm sorry."
She thinks for a few seconds.
"All this time I thought you hated me, but do I really make you nervous?" She says with a small smile.
"Uh, yeah," Sam grimaces. "I'm sorry for that too, I didn't know how to handle... my brain."
She laughs and reaches up to caress his cheek.
“Before all this, I came to think that it’d be a good idea to go out. Just you and I."
He looks at her.
"What?"
Her response is a sweet, quick kiss on Sam's lips.
"What!?" He squeals, making her laugh.
"That’s all you’ll say?"
"Brain out of order."
“Fine, when it works again, maybe we could talk about a date. What do you say?"
"Okay," he answers, but he still can't believe it.
"Everything’s good now or do I have another chance to hit Sam?" Bucky walks past the room.
The couple looks at him.
"We’re having a date!" yells Sam with the huge smirk.
Bucky laughs at the excitement. He looks inside the room to see the girl and she nods.
"Huh, who’d say that my help would do something like this? " He says surprised. "My work here is done."
Taglist:
@lauramacch @silenthappyplace @yourbonesareinmybody @aylauwuuniverse @skittles-skittles @hufflepuffzutara @poetryislife0715 @21bruhs @heavenlymistakes @my-love-of-books @dielgonacoffee @thelastpyle @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual
#twoidiots writing#Sam Wilson#Falcon#Bucky Barnes#Sam x reader#Sam Wilson x reader#Sam wilson one shot
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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟒)
part three
note - i wanna thank everyone for reading once again! i'm currently in the process of writing imagines, those will be posted throughout the week, i don't want to clog up my blog bc i want y'all to see this chapter!
this one switches pov a lil more frequently, so bear with me <3 also not as smutty as other chapters, this is more of an emotionally-charged chapter!!! still a teensy bit smutty thooo. i want to make it clear that while this fic is definitely rooted in smut & sex & sex work, it is not porn without plot & will not ONLY be smut as i put effort and time into plot development / character development! i'm sure y'all know that tho. there will be conflict, there will be plot!!! i feel like that's clear already but there's discourse on smut happening rn and i wanna voice myself! omg anyways luv y'all enjoy the reaaad <3
new taglist!
playlist
word count - 8.3k
warnings - age gap, sex work, smut, vibrator, ANGSTYYY like hella dramatic, dirty talk
That slight shift that you and Steve both felt, that happiness that you realized came from talking to one another, only lasted so long... for you. You could hardly sit in your feelings about your situation with Steve before another thing that occupied all your time came crashing down upon you. Except this time, the thing brought you no such happiness or curiosity.
You had spent almost your entire senior year working on a special lab project about drought tolerant plants in Southern California where you lived and went to school, and your professor was making completing your project incredibly hard for you. And you felt incredibly stressed out about the entire situation - not only was the project necessary to graduate, but it was your heart and soul for the past year. Now, your professor was basically saying it was "ineligible."
"Ineligible?" Aaliyah repeated after you, after you told her what your professor had said.
"Whatever the hell that means," you huffed as you power walked down the street, hand in hand with Aaliyah, your free hand holding a coffee.
"That's so fucking annoying, holy shit," Aaliyah pressed a hand to her forehead. "He had the whole year to talk to you about changing your topic and...”
"And he never did," you sighed, frowning. You settled down onto a bench where the two of you sat next to each other, staring out into the busy streets and sipping your iced coffees.
California was a beautiful place, and you were a native, you'd lived there all your life. You knew the ins and outs of your city, knew Southern California like it was your backbone. And you loved it here - loved the sun, the beaches, the way the people were either shady in the best way or incredibly friendly. You'd never really known any other place like you knew this place. You were just glad that if you had to be stressed, you could do so in California.
Aaliyah pouted, feeling for you. She placed her hand on your knee to be comforting,
"Babe..."
"It's okay," you sighed. You sucked it up, like always, because you had learned how to fend for yourself ever since you realized that depending on others could only lead to downfall. You would figure this out the same way you figured everything else out... on your own. You figured out your house on your own, your job, your finances.
"Is it, though?" Aaliyah pursed her lips and squinted at you. Despite how much you tried to fend for yourself, Aaliyah was always there for you. She was one of your biggest supporters.
"I'll just keep visiting during his office hours and work this out."
Aaliyah rolled her eyes,
"Men are so annoying, girl. You know what, he probably wants to fuck you. With your fine ass. That's why he's doing all this."
You chuckled, shaking your head and covering your mouth, trilling back in response,
"Okay girl, don't get too ahead of yourself."
"I'm serious! Men are evil. Oh, except your fave."
You made a face, nearly choking on your iced coffee. This was news to you,
"Who are we talking about?"
"You know," Aaliyah sang slightly, nudging you and leaning against your shoulder. "Mr. Won't Show His Face."
You scoffed, rolling your eyes, but bit down on your straw with a knowing smile, eyes peeking out over the top of your shades. If you were being honest, this idea of Steve, whoever he really was, had been a fun thing to entertain during this period of stress. You'd been talking and engaging with him for two and a half weeks now, and the connection you two had was undeniable.
But you knew better - maybe he wasn't just another customer, because you could really talk to him and felt like he was real - then again, he was strictly a customer. You liked him, a lot, but you couldn't like him any more than you already did. That would be dangerous and silly, and create unrealistic expectations. It wasn't like you could go on dates or anything.
Still, talking to him (and performing for him) did help to distract you from your stress, at least for a small amount of time. Steve was becoming less shy, less inhibited. He cracked jokes and was starting to keep up with your innate sense of sexuality, starting to navigate you, find you the way a bee might find its nectar, hidden deep inside the curvatures of a flower.
If you were a flower, you'd probably be a sunflower - bright, yellow, almost always in a positive mood, or at least trying to keep yourself in a positive mood. More than that though, sunflowers were tall and looming - you felt like that represented your put togetherness and how hard you worked, how smart you were. Only sometimes it was hard to keep yourself up and tall, but you always did it, time and time again.
But when it came to Aaliyah's comments about Steve, she mostly just made you laugh.
"Haven't seen him yet, have you?" Aaliyah asked, raising her brows expectantly.
"No. And I'm fine with that. He's simply another very loyal customer who I happen to like."
"Hm," Aaliyah hummed, and you could tell her mind was up to something - some very wishful, and mischievous thinking.
"What are you up to?" you narrowed your eyes at her and glared at her, and she just shook her head with a lazy smile,
"Nothing. Just thinking that maybe it would be cool if he really was this really hot guy that you actually knew and he wasn't creepy and y'all... you know... started dating. Just to get your mind off a lot of crap. I know, I know, strictly against the rules, blah blah blah. No feelings for customers, it's basic shit. But in a perfect world..."
"I know," you sighed without thinking, sipping at your drink.
"You know?" Aaliyah questioned, surprised.
You shrugged,
"So I've thought about it. Except, you know, in a perfect world, I'd meet a guy like Steve in like, a farmer's market or something. Not on my shady ass cam shows."
Aaliyah snorted laughing, and at the sound of her laughter, you joined in.
You continued,
"I mean, not Steve exactly, because that would be weird. I just mean, a guy like Steve."
"You mean a guy who makes you feel the same way he makes you feel," Aaliyah corrected you, and you glared at her again, pushing her gently.
"Don't push it," you teased, but you meant it - you might have liked Steve, but that was all there was to it - you liked him, he was a distraction. And maybe even that was too much.
✺ ✺ ✺
As for Steve, he thoroughly enjoyed his time with you. He thought constantly about how you made him feel, how much he looked forward to talking to you. How everyday, his worry about your situation becoming more serious dissipated slowly. He could feel himself easing into you, everything that made up this character you created called Moonrose. Conversation seemed casual, like you knew each other in real life, it felt easy, and there was no pressure.
As for your connection, he had finally acknowledged that it was real, and more than either of you had wanted to realize at first. But now, there was no shame, no worry in acknowledging what the two of you had, because you were both smart enough to keep it at this level. It was like a shallow pool. There would be no drowning.
He mostly talked to Bucky about you when it came to the emotional aspect of it. He still feared that if he talked to Tony, it might come across as an issue, and might put a pause on what he had with you. But everyone noticed how different Steve was acting. Even without the phase he had gone through where he was sexually frustrated and angry, he still acted different.
Lighter on his feet, more smiley. And he was always on top of his work. You weren't distracting him from his duty, so that made the fact that he knew you had a unique connection with him more bearable. Because of you, he was learning to worry less. To have a little more fun.
It was a bright day that week, the sun filtering in through the large windows of the meeting room where everyone was gathered. Steve was engaging in some mindless conversation with Sam and Bucky in which they were debating whether or not pineapple belonged on pizza.
"No. I'm not sure why everyone keeps trying to put all these twists on pizza. It's pizza," Bucky scoffed, Sam rolling his eyes as a result.
"You're just closed off. With your old ass," Sam retorted, and Steve made a face. Sam raised his hands up in surrender. "You know what I mean. What about you Steve?"
Honestly, Steve had never even tried pineapple on pizza and he didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about the banal question.
"I don't really have an opinion," he shrugged, not expecting Sam and Bucky to start clamoring over him and trying to force him to pick a side.
Before he even got to grasp the situation, he felt Natasha patting his shoulder,
"Hey, mind if I use your laptop? Mine's gone haywire, don't really feel like messing with it right now."
"Yeah," Steve agreed without a second thought, setting his laptop on the table and letting Natasha handle it- she was better with tech stuff than he ever was.
Natasha would use his laptop to showcase some data and start off their morning. It seemed innocent enough —a simple, barely impacting sacrifice. But Steve clearly hadn't thought everything through, because the moment Natasha logged in and hooked up Steve's computer to the holographic projector, more than just data appeared on the screen.
In fact, a whole array of women, all of them engaging in various sexual acts or preparing themselves to, showed up on the screen. And at the top, where the browser was, were the words "girlsonfilm.com."
Steve hadn't noticed all the clamor, too busy thinking (thoughts of you and thoughts of work), until Bucky called it to his attention.
"Steve," he nudged him frantically, his voice a loud whisper.
When Steve looked up at the screen, his face couldn't have gone any redder. He hadn't thought about this at all, and he had clearly forgotten to close out his browser. His heart sunk all the way to his stomach - because it wasn't just Natasha seeing this, it was everybody. And that included Tony, who was glaring pointedly at Steve from the head of the table. Meanwhile, all the others were too busy heckling Natasha and making brash comments about what was appearing onscreen. To Steve's relief, your face didn't show up, but this just might have been worse than only your screen appearing.
"Woah, Nat, I didn't know you got down like that!" Sam hooted, cupping his mouth with his hands.
Natasha, though she was in shock as well, rolled her eyes,
"This is Steve's laptop."
Now a hush, then another clamor of confusion and heckling, all directed towards Steve. He couldn't recoil any more, feeling the pangs of embarrassment as his eyes flashed between every one of his teammates. He felt as if there were an asteroid approaching fast, and he was right where it would land, too slow to move out of its way.
"Steve, what do you know about 'girls on film'?" Sam nearly cackled, reading the name of the site.
Steve sighed deeply, locking eyes with Natasha as he mouthed "turn it off" to her.
"I am, I am," she ensured him, quickly disconnecting the laptop from the projection, unplugging completely.
A beat passed, everyone staring expectantly at Steve, who was staring down at the table, trying to process his own thoughts. Like for starters, why didn't he log out the last time, and why didn't he remember to log out? And then his mind went to deeper places. He hadn't been intentionally secretive with his actions, but he had been intentionally private. It had to do with his own growth, he was learning how to navigate a world that was new to him and somehow helping him at once. He didn't want to have to share this with everyone, it was nice having this to himself, he had no intentions of revealing what he had been doing in his past time that made him so happy.
One of the reasons he didn't want everyone to know about his situation was because he didn't want to have to be concerned with what everyone else might think. Because to begin with, being on a site for cam shows wasn't exactly everyone's idea of what Captain America might be up to these days.
It was a matter of his image, what values he was supposed to hold. This didn't exactly match, and Steve had just gotten over the idea that he was a bad, sneaky person because of what he chose to indulge in. At least here he knew it was ethical and not causing harm to you as a human being.
He also didn't want to have to deal with the insufferable questioning and teasing his team would put him through, or the judgment he thought they might put him through. He felt embarrassed, exposed, and like he had been ill prepared for a situation like this. He was just grateful they hadn't seen more, because that would've been a disaster. What they had seen was only at the surface level of what he'd been doing.
But his thinking was interrupted by Tony's voice, which broke through all the silence, and made Steve realize again the eyes that were on him.
"Well, jig's up," Tony sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Care to explain?"
Steve locked eyes with Tony, as if hopeful that he wouldn't have to, but he knew it was best for him to just spit it out. Tony shrugged apologetically, and Steve took in a deep sigh, looking around at everyone at the table.
"What was that?" Scott whimpered, probably the most distraught by what they had all seen.
Steve nodded solemnly and began to explain himself. He would tell the truth, but that didn't mean he had to tell them everything. You would be left out of this, if anything. He'd just explain to them that sometimes, duty calls - and sometimes, it's not at all work-related.
✺ ✺ ✺
It was just hours before your cam show when another disaster struck, the first one being the fact that your professor was giving you shit about your project. You were in the bathroom, getting ready for your show, fixing your hair up and doing your makeup, laying out an outfit, doing all the things you did to feel pretty before a show.
Your phone lay beside you on the bathroom table, pinging with messages every now and then. You ignored it, leaning closer into the mirror to get a look at your lipstick, dabbing your fingers into the pigment on your lips.
You smiled, feeling that gratifying sense of achievement. Despite what was going on with your professor, you felt like you were doing well in life. You usually had a positive mindset, enjoyed your work although you sometimes felt as if you were buried deep in all your occupations: student, office worker, cam girl, designer, young woman. Your life was never dull, and you wouldn't trade it for anything. Talking to Steve helped too, but it was more than that.
But that sense of satisfaction all seemed to dissolve when you looked down at your phone, and saw a text from an unsaved number, glaring bright on your glowing lock screen of you hiking with Aaliyah. Still, you recognized it immediately.
xxx-xxx-xxxx
I miss you. Text me back.
✺ ✺ ✺
Steve wasn't exactly keen on joining your live show today, but he did so anyway, because he still had time to himself despite the spiral of events that had happened earlier. There was nothing else to do, and he didn't want to miss out on you after attending almost all of your shows for the past almost three weeks. Didn't want to just leave unexpectedly.
It felt strange that he felt this tug of commitment, but he brushed it off. He was just fulfilling his needs, which should even be expected of him. He was stressed again, after being caught up like he was. And maybe that was all the more reason not to watch your show tonight, but he wouldn't devoid himself of the simple pleasures of life. He'd learned that lesson a while ago, from a special someone called Moonrose.
After everything transpired, he explained himself calmly to his team, slowly to ensure that they'd understand that this wasn't the beginning of a deviant phase, that he wasn't throwing away his work responsibilities to lurk on the NSFW side of the internet. Not that they ever thought that to begin with, they never questioned his abilities or his authority for a minute, not even in the midst of what they'd seen that had shocked them.
This was the product of Steve's own insecurities and his admittedly silly fear that he was somehow letting his team down. He told them that he was on the site, as recommended by Tony, to relieve some "frustration" that he felt he didn't have the time or the means to release in real life. He said that while it had helped him do that, he wasn't throwing away his responsibilities, nor was he dependent on the site or the things on it, or the people on it for that matter.
He knew that if they knew about you, all those private sessions, all those conversations you'd had, the connection you had built between the two of you, it might be a different story. But because they didn't, they appreciated his honesty. They were confused, it didn't seem like the kind of thing Steve would be into, and he ensured them that it was a shock to him as well.
But they didn't mind on the whole, it was just a shock to everyone at first. They didn't think it called for a meeting, thought it was almost humorous how serious Steve was being about such a trivial situation. Wanda had joked about how we've all been there, Thor denied ever having to do such a thing because: "I have all the romantic partners anyone could ask for. I could introduce you Steve, but these Asgardian women are fiery, far beyond anything I believe you could handle." In the end, Steve was relieved, felt like it didn't have the disastrous outcome he'd been expected.
But he could feel his guard slowly coming back up. That was a close call, and it was a little too close for comfort. He didn't want to disregard you, but he couldn't afford to sink further in, and get his team involved. He just didn't want to face the consequences he could imagine if they knew how much he decided to stick with you, how much you talked, how it was teetering off the range of normal customer to cam girl interaction.
It wasn't like he was careless when it came to his interactions with you, but he also didn't want his team to know about his business when it came to you. He didn't want them thinking he was engaging too much, didn't want it to get to the point where he was worrying again or felt like he needed to deny himself such wonderful feelings.
All these things were on his mind while he waited for your live show to start. When it did, and he saw your face, he felt a little bit alleviated. Just for now, he could have this fantasy to himself. If they knew about the site, so be it. At least he had you to himself.
"Hey guys," you mustered a smile, waving to the camera.
Unbeknownst to your viewers, you had spent the past few hours off camera panicking, on the verge of tears, calling Aaliyah frantically so she could help calm you down. That text from that mysterious unknown number had been from your ex's number. The same ex who made you fall into dependency patterns that you worked so hard to get out of, the one who made you feel like you had to work for his love. Like it wasn't something you deserved, just like anyone else.
You had worked so hard to finally wring out all the effects of him, all the bad habits you had fallen into because of him. That was part of the reason why you worked so hard. Not because you were actively avoiding him specifically, but because you were actively bettering yourself. You weren't looking for a relationship. But you knew that if you were in one now, the same things would never happen to you.
When you got that text, it triggered a flood of memories. Feelings you had to work to suppress and actually get over for months so you wouldn't fall back into the same desperate, needy patterns when it came to your relationships with people. All over a simple text from someone you hadn't heard from in almost a year. It hurt you how easy it was to get you to crack, even if you didn't spill out all the way. But on top of the added stress because of school, you were damn close.
You would do the show tonight, anyway. It helped you to escape, although Moonrose was a part of you, it didn't one hundred translate into real life. So in a way, this helped you escape real life. Just for a while. Just like Steve.
You grinned when you saw concerned comments from your watchers:
johnGuy182
Are you okay, moonrose? You seem a little sad.
zenongirl
Girl r u ok? i missed seeing your face!!!
"Guys, I'm okay," you grinned. And you actually felt better seeing comments from your supporters. It reminded you to cheer up - they were looking for a good show, not a sob story. You leaned back, revealing your stomach in the sheer, sparkly fringed bra you chose to wear (another piece you had designed by yourself). "It's been a looong day."
Steve watched silently, observing your behavior. He didn't notice drastic changes, but you did appear less chipper. Then again, he brushed it off. He didn't expect you to be smiley all the time, you were human too, and this was your work.
"But I'm okay," you reassured, giving that signature grin, genuine and charming and alluring. You were trying to gently distract yourself, get into your act. "I hope you're all just as lovely as I am. I have a special game for you today."
You directed your viewers to your spinning wheel, which you had been working on crafting that week for a game. You grinned as you spinned it. Each act on the wheel cost a certain amount of tokens, and by the end of the game you would garner a bunch of funds. The show went by relatively quickly as you played the game, eventually ending up completely naked.
As ordered by the spinning wheel, you were to use a vibrator. You held it against your clit at the highest setting as you watched the numbers of viewers and the tokens jump up, Steve watching as he stroked himself leisurely. Your legs shook as you restrained yourself from your orgasm so as to increase the length of your showtime, garner more coins to encourage you to come.
"Mm," you moaned, massaging the vibrator against your clit, getting wetter and slicker by the minute, sliding the toy between your folds. You laughed, breathless. "Fuck, this thing is so powerful. Someone make me come, please make me come. Just a few more tokens for me to come for you."
Steve was hesitant, but he decided to go ahead and give you the amount of tokens you needed. And when you heard the chime of the tokens being added to your account, and saw the name it was attached to, it was like a blast of euphoria. When your legs started to shake, when you started to moan and your stomach started to rise up and down, it was genuine. It was like you were back in a private room with him, although you weren't.
Your orgasm was blood-curdling in the best way, and you felt like you were releasing part of the stress of the past day, the past week. It didn't get any realer than this, once again you felt like he was really there to satisfy you.
"Oh!" you exclaimed, your mouth dropping open and your blood flowing, moaning. "Yes, Steve, I'm coming for you. Thank you for making me come, Steve!"
Steve had been stroking himself along with you as he watched, and only let himself come now that you had come, his cheeks heating up as he heard you moan his name, something he hadn't been expected. Something about you saying his name like that where everyone could hear, even though he enjoyed the intimacy of private rooms, felt victorious. It felt lewd, salacious, but he couldn't help but enjoy that aspect of it. He moaned through grit teeth while he came, stroking himself to completion.
You came down, thanking everyone for attending and ending the show. But it wasn't long after that you had requested Steve for a private chat. He accepted, because he had gotten used to you doing this a little more frequently. It didn't scare him any more, he just thought of it as making conversation, taking advantage of this connection you had with each other. So when you requested, who was he to say no.
When the chat log opened, you put on your best happy face for Steve, trying to conceal how fatigued this week, today in particular, had made you. But your tired, bleak voice gave it all away, buried deep beneath your smile,
"Hey, Steve."
Steve was surprised at the sound of your voice. Again, while he understood that you wouldn't be a happy go lucky fairy like personality all the time, he wasn't expecting this. You were smiling, but the weariness in your eyes was hard to miss. And your voice, which usually told light hearted tales, sounded worn down as if from tragedy. He was concerned, his eyebrows furrowed gently,
"Hi. How are you?"
"I'm good!" you exclaimed, trying your hardest to really sound "good."
But you were just tired. Tired and sad, and scared - scared of what the future had to hold. You were already dealing with school stress, and the text from your ex-boyfriend was like a bad omen, an anxiety-provoking assurance that things actually would not get better and they would in fact get progressively worse. You weren't even sure why you thought you should be talking to Steve if you were tired and just wanted to sleep off the weight of the week. It would be a weekend tomorrow, and one of your very rare days off.
Maybe you figured that you wanted to talk to him despite your fatigue, because conversation with Steve was a nice distraction. You had let yourself forget that this was still your job, and that you were too tired for anything sexual — you knew he liked talking to you, but you hadn't put into consideration the fact that he might request a sexual act from you. You would be burnt out if he did. The fact that you didn't think about that should've been telling, but your brain was too scattered to think straight.
Anyway, Steve called your bluff, and laughed quietly, his voice inquiring and pressing,
"How are you really?"
That was all it took to get a deep sigh to come from out of you, all it took to allow yourself to show your true feelings, at least the surface of them, what you felt comfortable showing a customer. You felt a sense of relief and gratefulness for Steve, like he was letting you breathe. And if anything, he especially wasn't enlisted to listen to your problems. But he wanted to, and for that you felt foolishly grateful.
Steve noted the deep sigh that came from out of you, and he frowned slightly. He could tell you had been holding this in for a while, and some part of him felt remorse for the fact that even though you clearly weren't in the right mindset, you went on and did your show anyway. He felt some guilt for being a part of the reason why you did your show.
You answered, allowing your voice to be as honest as possible.
"Honestly?" you chuckled a little, albeit bitterly. "I don't know if you really want to hear me rant to you."
Steve shook his head.
"Don't be silly," he grinned. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to."
You felt a warm rush in your chest from the reassurance, and the corner of your lip quirked up in a small smile, before you decided to dive in. You'd spare the emotional details, spare your private life. But it would be nice to talk to someone, just about the general things, right?
"Well, it's been a pretty stressful week, honestly. I mean, school's been the main source of my stress. My professor's such an asshole, he's basically been telling me my entire senior project, which I need to complete to graduate, needs to be redone? And I can't even fathom how I would have enough time to do that with like, two and a half months left of my senior year. I mean, he said I can keep most details, but I'd have to rework it, whatever that means."
You kept your emotions at bay, sighing in annoyance just at the story you told, because it really was irritating you. But then you felt deeper things, even more went into why you really were upset.
Steve nodded, just listening. He was prepared to offer advice, but in your situation, he thought that maybe just letting you rant would be best.
"That's gotta be annoying," he shook his head understandingly. "Whatever your project is, I'm sure it's wonderful. He shouldn't be forcing you to rework it or make any last minute changes."
"I know!" you nearly jumped up, feeling amped up now. "And it's just so fucking annoying because I work so hard and I'm really passionate about this project and it just feels like..."
It felt like you were about to overflow, like a pot of water that had been left on for too long. You were ranting almost uncontrollably now, maybe because of the fact that it was more than this that was tugging at you. Because you'd been carrying the weight of your life on your shoulders all the time, like Atlas carrying the sky, and it felt like that weight was finally starting to mean something.
Steve could see you were unraveling and he let you, he let you take the time you needed to feel everything you had been holding. If your connection was strong, it was at its strongest here. Sure, you and Steve chatted about a little bit of everything, even had deeper conversations here and there as the weeks went by. But you had yet to genuinely complain to him, because every time you spoke with him, you were happy go lucky Moonrose, with nothing to complain about to begin with. But now, you needed a release by any means, and you were just glad Steve was there for you, even if he wasn't really there. How unlike you to unfold in front of strangers.
Your breath stuttered as you took in a deep breath in a failed attempt to calm down, only further driving yourself into your rambling. You felt yourself tear up, your voice becoming watery as you continued,
"It just feels like all my work is turning to shit, and it's so fucking frustrating because I work so hard all the time, I do so much and I manage so much all the time."
The "hard work" you were talking about wasn't just school and work-related, it pertained to your journey, and how hard you had worked to be a better person. To support yourself. The emotions pent up inside of you, they were more than just being upset over a school project. The idea of someone toxic trying to re-enter your life, someone who had forced you to rework the entirety of your life, made you feel like you were on the verge of crashing. You knew better, but you didn't want to return to those dark days, where the light at the end of the winding tunnel that was your relationship seemed so far away. It was why you were so weary of relationships today. It was crazy how one person could change your life so easily.
Now you were crying, before you even noticed that you were crying. Tears just seemed to leak out of your eyes, sloshing wet and sudden against your cheeks and underneath your lashes. You wiped them away quickly with the back of your hand, frazzled at the fact that you were crying in front of a customer right now. Steve said he'd listen to you, he didn't say he'd watch you cry and be your therapist. You instantly regretted it, although you couldn't stop yourself, tears threatening to emerge again. If you were cracked before, you were spilling now.
Steve was surprised too, at the fact that you were crying. You appeared so put together to him, it was almost something he didn't expect from you. He was in shock at first, so much so that professionalism was not on his mind - it was an afterthought. Right now, instead of wondering if this was appropriate, he was occupied with you.
"I'm sorry," you murmured, but you still hadn't stopped, tears falling out as you blinked. Composure was nothing now, you were sobbing, your shoulders slumped and your head hung as you sniffled. Still you enforced control, wiping away every tear that fell with the back of your hand. "I'm really sorry, I don't mean to cry to you over this, that's so-"
Steve cut you off, shaking his head slowly,
"It's okay to cry, doll. We all have those days. I know better than anyone that we all have those days."
You mustered a smile, feeling cared for, feeling accounted for by someone who wasn't even obligated to have to see you like this. Still you shook your head, sniffling,
"I know. But it's-it's stupid, I shouldn't be crying in front of you."
"I'm not judging you," Steve said, so nonchalantly and firmly, so genuine that it almost scared you.
You blinked. He should've cared, and he should've judged you. To cry in front of Steve, a customer, was to imply he had some duty to comfort you when he probably just wanted a show. You knew that you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to, but even you had rules when it came to what your customers got to see, and to you, that meant they didn't have to deal with your blues.
"Really?"
"Really," he reassured you with a nod.
Was Steve scared that by giving you this reassurance, this entire situation could become deeper than either of you could handle? Yes. But did he let himself shut down because of those pervasive thoughts that he might get himself into trouble? No. He didn't see you as a liability right now. Right now, even though the situation was certainly questionable (and this was something he had no doubt about. When emotions get into the mix, things could get tricky- he knew this), he saw you as someone who desperately needed someone to talk to. Maybe it wasn't smart of you to make him that someone, but regardless, he was, and who was Steve Rogers not to listen to a person in need?
You blinked away the last of your tears and swallowed hard. You were making this choice consciously, to tell Steve what had really gotten you to your breaking point. And maybe telling him meant you had trust in him, maybe too much trust for someone who, while great, was still a customer. But you felt like there was nothing you could lose from telling him. Maybe you'd even feel better after the fact.
You looked down, picking at the body glitter on your arm that you had applied before the show. Your voice was considerably quieter now perhaps because you were looking back on the moment with a clear mind for the first time since it happened. You hadn't been thinking straight ever since you received the text just hours ago. Now your brain was a little quieter with the help of your tears and Steve's reassurance.
"I think that the stress of this school project is making me resent how hard I work for everything, just to be met with this kind of result, you know? And it's even worse when... things seem to be going backwards. You know, like when you make so much progress, moving on from things that don't serve you, and you've finally done it and you get to flourish in it and then, it just gets taken away from you. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but that's just how this feels."
Steve nodded, his jaw ticking as he let your words settle in. Somehow, although your situation was so different from his, he felt like your words perfectly described how he felt with the world sometimes. It was even part of the reason he'd held off on talking to you like this, held off on getting too involved. He too had made so much progress in this world, which took so much getting adjusted to in a way that absolutely nobody else could relate to.
It was a world that he didn't even know, a world that he had never been properly introduced to. He'd had to fend for himself. He did his healing on his own, just like you had. And yet sometimes it felt like he had no control, like the universe was going the opposite way of all his plans. Then he felt stupid for even having plans to begin with, because in life, making plans was like comedy for the gods.
There was a weird feeling in his chest and stomach, like he'd been stabbed with a gutting realization, and the knife was just turning inside of him, churning his insides. He began to feel a sense of unease, because this deep conversation was beginning to feel incredibly personal. Even though you were talking about your own situation, he couldn't help but think about how much he resonated, and the fact that he felt like he could relate to you on such a deep level scared him. This was more than the conversations you'd had before, more than the simple similarities you and Steve shared. This felt like a conversation that might be too telling for his good and your own.
He swallowed his words as he listened to you continue. You chose your words carefully, but you had shed yourself of your inhibitions when it came to being truthful.
"Earlier... I heard from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time. And it kind of pushed me over the edge," out of your mouth stumbled a laugh. You were calmer now, and looked up at the camera, Steve swallowing hard when you did so. It was all so real, just like it was when you touched yourself and moaned Steve's name. "I think it just made me feel all those things I just explained. Because I feel like I worked so hard to rid myself of this person and them trying to come back just feels like all the things I worked so hard on are going to unravel. Even though I know they aren't, it feels like a setback. And that was like, the icing on the cake to this already terrible day, I guess."
You let out a breathy laugh and smiled gently, shaking your head slowly.
"I normally wouldn't be telling this to a customer. But here we are. Again, I'm sorry... I feel like I shouldn't have said anything? Should I... have said anything?"
In the brief silence that followed your question, both you and Steve were thinking the same thing - were you going to regret this? Intimacy both physically and emotionally was good when you capped it at what you both knew to be appropriate. When it came to the physical aspects, you each let your fantasies unwind.
And on the emotional aspect, though you had both grown closer and more open, some things just didn't get touched upon. But now you had just cried over the screen, and spoke from the depths of your heart. It was scary to open up in such an uncertain situation where your own privacy was an aspect that got involved. There was no doubt that it was too much. It was just a question of whether the result would be negative.
Steve sighed deeply, a crease forming in his forehead as he furrowed his brows together, folding his arms over his chest.
"I don't know..." he trailed off, took a breath, a leap, his body practically lurching forward. "But... it can't be a bad thing that you feel comfortable talking to me about this, can it?"
And there it was, that glint of hope he was trying his hardest to conceal. That feeling he got when he got off that call with you, the one where you both started giving into those unspoken thoughts. That this couldn't be so bad, that you could enjoy each other's company without worrying.
You smiled gently,
"I guess. It does feel weird though, it's not something I normally do. It feels like something I shouldn't be doing."
You could hear Steve breathing in deeply, and for a moment, you imagined what he might look like, envisioning the outline of a troubled face, eyebrows knit together. You snapped back to reality and made a face, confused by your abrupt thoughts. You had long gotten over the very brief desire to see Steve's face- why was it coming back again?
"I'll be honest, same here," Steve agreed with your sentiments.
"Do you always feel like you have to restrain what you say when you talk to people? Or is it just with me?" you added that last part in a quiet voice, biting your lip.
Steve chuckled briefly,
"Are you asking me if I have trust issues? Because I'd tell you, but I'd have to trust you to do that."
You shook your head and laughed at Steve's stupid joke, and shrugged.
"I could say the same thing, I think. This person I heard from earlier is... I developed those trust issues because of them. Or, my already existent trust issues became worse. But what's funny about it is that this person was once someone that I loved," even as the words were coming out you questioned why you were letting them, why you were allowing yourself to be so truthful in a situation like this at a time when you were so vulnerable.
Steve didn't reply, again feeling that sick feeling in his stomach that stemmed from his fear. The fear that this conversation were too serious, fear surrounding the fact that he was able to relate so much to such a personal situation of yours.
You spoke again, daring to ask the question that felt like a final blow to Steve's stomach,
"Have you ever been in love, Steve?"
Now Steve knew he was in uncharted territory. Not because he feared you might try to exploit him, but because he was so struck by the fact that he had allowed himself to feel so safe with you and get so close to you. He was surprised at himself for letting you feel safe enough to have these kinds of conversations with him. It all felt like a mistake now. He wanted a way out, any way out. He knew if he even attempted to answer that question, he would be making a big mistake. He had shared some of his most intimate moments with you, but always keeping in mind a very sharp line he didn't want to be crossed.
And in his mind, he thought of the one love he'd had, the one love that hadn't been fulfilled because of the situation he had been thrown into, one he had never signed up for. He thought of how the things he cared most for in life had been discarded, how, like you, he felt like it had gone to shit. How sometimes, though he tried his best to be grateful and had taken that journey of self-healing just like you, it all felt like some sick joke.
Could he even call it love? He wasn't sure. And he wasn't going to answer. He wasn't going to answer at all, because he wouldn't be talking to you again. There would be no chance for this dilemma to resurface, not with you, not on this site. He made the decision with haste and a heavy heart - he was done here.
The discomfort was well evident in his voice, answering loud and clear, though his voice was morose and a bit closed off. You sensed the shift immediately.
"I... I can't talk about that right now. Listen, I have to go."
You felt a pang in your chest at the sudden switch in his demeanor, straightening up and trying not to frown. All this time you had been letting the words spill out, telling yourself not to worry so much, reassuring yourself it was okay to make your feelings known. Now it felt like you should've never said anything at all. You started to stammer.
"Oh, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I was just... I feel like I got a little overwhelmed." You laughed nervously. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Steve felt his throat ran dry as he blinked, feeling emotions come up to surface that he wasn't quite familiar with. Maybe he was grieving in advance, regretting the decision he was making to no longer speak with you, regretting the fact that he was letting fear get in the way of what he wanted so badly to be a good thing.
"No, I'm sorry. I feel like I let things go too far," Steve apologized, but the apology felt more like an insult.
Was he implying that whatever this was, you couldn't handle it, and that it was his fault for somehow leading you on? You had both made the connection with each other, it was an equal effort. And why was he acting like the two of you communicating at all was somehow below him, somehow a risk? If anything, you were the one risking it just by talking to him the way you did. You were opening up to him.
You almost felt betrayed - you had convinced yourself that he wouldn't want to listen to your problems and you told yourself it wasn't his responsibility to listen. And then he listened anyway, told you that he wanted to hear it, and you cried to him. You felt like you had made so many unusual accommodations just for him to scare off like this. He was just another person you had expressed your feelings to, only to regret it in the end.
"Too far?" you questioned, furrowing your brows.
Steve swallowed. In your voice he could hear a hint of frustration, but even worse- hurt. It pained him more than he cared for you to know.
"I don't think we should talk anymore," he said instead.
"What?" you were taken by surprise. "Steve, I'm... I'm not understanding. I... I don't usually open up to people like this, I mean, I thought maybe it was fine here, because I feel like I know you. But you're still a stranger. I understand you're a customer but I thought we were talking, I thought we broke through that wall-"
"We did. And we shouldn't have," Steve said, his voice so calm and firm that it was almost cold.
By now you were just staring into the computer camera, as if you were looking at him and waiting for him to come to his senses. But as you did that, you slowly came to your own. Because you weren't looking at him. You were looking at a black screen with his voice behind it. You realized you hadn't known Steve, not enough to talk about these things. And just like him, you too were full of regret. You kept all those walls up for the sake of customer relations, only to put them down and be met with this disastrous result.
Steve almost couldn't bare to look at your face anymore. You were confused, hurt. He could tell you regretted the fact that you had opened up. He was hurt too, but he wouldn't show it, or let it overcome him to the point where your methods of communication with each other became something neither of you could control. Still, yes, he was hurt.
But he had been through plenty of hardships in life. What was one more, even if it shouldn't have come to this point anyway?
"I'm sorry, Moonrose. We can't. Goodbye."
Chat over.
#steve rogers#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers reader insert#reader insert#smut#captain america civil war#captain america x reader#captain america imagine#captain america smut#captain america#girls on film#marvel#marvel imagine#marvel smut#marvel reader insert#steve rogers series#captain america series
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Lost in the Lights Ch.3 | Brittana
Aaand we’re back to the usual weekly routine! Thank you for all the luv, I appreciate it so much you have no idea.
Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x)
By early October, Brittany has finally adapted to her busy schedule. With Autumn settling in, the mornings are a lot cooler but Brittany finds the crisp air refreshing when she’s out on her daily runs before class. Winters in Florida weren’t really all that cold, so this is all new to her.
Brittany takes it in stride though; in fact, she’s interested to see how the colder weather will impact her playing when it comes to Game Days. So far, the team is 5-0 now with just five more games left of the regular season. Everyone on the team is feeling good about their current standings, but Brittany knows it’s wise not to let it get to their heads.
Cockiness doesn’t mesh well with an undefeated record. She knows that one from experience.
Brittany’s in the locker room just after practice one Wednesday and she’s a hot, sweaty mess. Her hair is sure to be all over the place, but she’s too tired to care about appearances after such a grueling session. All she wants is a shower and to be able to scrub the dirt and dust caked on her arms and shins. Maybe a nice face mask too? She’ll wait until she’s home for that one though.
“Woah,” Santana gasps when she rounds the wall of lockers designated for the Cheerios and nearly runs into Brittany. She eyes her up and down and smirks, “You look like you’ve been rolling around in mud.”
Brittany chuckles at her comment. Since Santana’s surprise visit a couple weeks ago, things between them have been a lot better. They actually talk and sometimes they even walk together to their last class if Brittany gets to her locker in time. It’s a nice change and it makes her school days a whole lot easier.
“Yeah, these new drills Coach Beiste has us doing are intense,” Brittany sighs but a happy smile soon graces her lips, “I didn’t expect to see you here still.”
“Me neither,” Santana groans, “Coach Sylvester wants Quinn and I to hang back and help come up with routines for Homecoming Week.”
“Is it that time already?” Brittany wonders aloud, “That would explain the extra drills.”
“Yeah, it’s next week,” Santana answers, “It’s one of the most busiest times for the squad. Honestly, Spirit Week should be renamed Hell Week because that’s where I’d rather be than to deal with all this extra work.”
“The perks of being Co-Captain,” Brittany teases before she asks, “Is it really that bad?”
“Small town high schools go apeshit over events like this,” Santana explains, “You’ll see. Quinn and I have to start campaigning for Homecoming Court as well, it’s kind of mandatory for us. I’m sure you’ll probably get roped into something too being that you’re the quarterback and all.”
“I hope not,” Brittany scrunches her nose, “I hate the extra attention when I’m not on the field. It’s super weird being treated like some kind of celebrity.”
Santana smiles apologetically and echoes Brittany’s earlier words, “The perks of being QB.”
Brittany grumbles through her pout. It makes Santana’s smile soften.
“Well, I’ll let you get cleaned up,” Santana says and shakes her phone, “Quinn’s finally back from our coffee run so I better go meet her.”
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then!” Brittany waves as they go their separate ways.
\\
When Friday comes around, the Titans are more amped up than ever. The guys are dressed in their jeans and jerseys and strut around the school like they own it. Brittany wears her jersey as well seeing that it’s tradition on Game Days, but she starts to notice the annoyed glares they get from some of the other teams.
More importantly, the Hockey team.
There was once instance where Brittany, Mike and Sam were talking by Sam’s locker when a couple guys from the Hockey team walked by. Brittany instantly felt the tension as the two teams exchanged glares.
“The hell you looking at?” Sam growled to Brittany’s surprise. She hadn’t ever heard him take a tone like that when it wasn’t being directed at Dave or Azimio.
Mike stood up a little straighter too and balled his fists.
The tallest one just laughed as he shook his head at them, “Couple of sell-outs.”
Brittany’s brow knitted; what’s that suppose to mean?
“Fuck you, Rick,” Sam scoffed, “At least we know what it’s like to win.”
“Right. You’re winners now that you’ve got a girl on the team,” Rick teased, “Fucking stupid.”
Brittany felt like she should say something, but she just griped the straps of her bookbag tighter until her knuckles whitened.
Rick looked to Brittany, “At least those gay ass tights finally work in someone’s favor.”
“Get out of here, man!” Mike ordered as he took a step forward and shoved at Rick’s shoulder.
Rick stumbled back and held up his hands although the sly smirk was still there. He gave Brittany a wink then motioned for his guys to keep walking.
Suddenly Brittany felt a little gross. She’s no stranger to those kind of comments too, but they’ve never lost their effect on making her feel sexualized. That might be one of the worst drawbacks to having so much emphasis on her being a female on a boys’ team.
“Don’t worry about them,” Mike said with a nudge to Brittany’s arm, “They’ve always been jealous of us even when we weren’t winning.”
“Hockey sucks,” Sam added, “That’s why. No one ever goes to their games.”
Brittany just nodded and pasted on a smile. She saw Santana down the other end of the hall walking towards her with Quinn and soon her smile turned genuine. Santana hadn’t looked her way yet, so Brittany just watched as those around her just stared like she was the hottest girl in school.
Brittany kind of agreed with that sentiment.
Sam and Mike noticed her leering and began to smirk when they realized who Brittany was looking at. When Santana and Quinn got closer, Sam and Mike glanced over at Brittany again to see if she was still staring.
They chuckled when they found that she was.
“Hey Pierce,” Santana smirked as she admired Brittany in her jersey and tight blue jeans. Maybe she kind of had a thing for a girl in uniform, but who didn’t?
“Hi Santana,” Brittany grinned.
Sam and Mike looked between themselves to see if they were invisible. That could be the only reason why Santana skipped greeting them.
Quinn chuckled and acknowledged the guys, “Hey boys.” Her eyes lingered longer on Mike than Sam before she averted her gaze to Brittany, “Hey Brittany.”
Upon hearing her name, Brittany blinked out of her staring contest with Santana and smiled in response. They haven’t actually met officially yet, but Santana talked about her enough for Brittany feel like she knew her.
“Hi,” Brittany greeted.
They five of them plummeted into an semi-awkward silence that was only broken up by Sam saying, “Well…this is awkward.”
Fortunately though, that was enough to have everyone laughing and the awkwardness wore away just as the bell rang out. Brittany’s next class was with Mike so she turned him and nodded.
“We should get going,” She said as she gave a last fleeting glance to Santana and smiled, “I’ll see you later.”
“Later,” Santana smiled back before turning to Quinn. The smile fell as she hardened, “Let’s go.”
Quinn nodded and together they continued their walk down the hall with their heads held high, their expressions only a couple of top bitches could wear.
Sam just looked between the duos and frowned, “Guess I’ll just walk by myself to class.”
\\
By Lunch, Brittany’s sitting with Kurt, Tina and Mercedes at their usual table but today Brittany feels like she’s being stared at. Actually, she always gets stared at for her table choice but she doesn’t get what the big deal is.
Kurt, Tina and Mercedes are going on about an upcoming performance they’re planning with some of the other members of their club. Brittany can tell they’re excited about it as they reel off potential song choices.
“It’s going to have to get the approval from Rachel,” Kurt complains, “With her being the self-proclaimed Team Leader and all. I have no idea how Mr. Schue let her get away with that one.”
“Rachel can kiss my ass,” Mercedes waves off, “If she has us singing Barbra again, I’m going to riot.”
“I agree,” Kurt nods, “There’s just a time and a place for showtunes and I don’t think a school dance is one of them.”
“Definitely not,” Tina says, “Artie said he wants to do Miguel.”
“He would,” Mercedes laughs, “I can see it though; white boy could probably pull it off.”
Everyone at the table laughs, even Brittany although she’s barely following along. She hasn’t met a Rachel or Artie, but she knows who Mr. Schue is so she’s not super lost.
“Sorry Britt,” Kurt smiles apologetically, “We shouldn’t make you feel left out by talking about all of this Glee Club stuff around you.”
Brittany just shrugs, “I don’t mind it. It’s kind of nice hearing about something other than football and schoolwork so don’t mind me.”
“Would you…ever consider joining?” Tina wonders.
Mercedes and Kurt are surprised by the question but await Brittany’s answer anxiously.
“It sounds fun, but I just don’t have the time for it,” Brittany answers easily, “Plus I can’t really sing so I’m probably doing you a favor.”
Everyone can understand Brittany’s reasoning, so they don’t press any further. Instead, they go back to tossing out different ideas for a set list. It’s kind of cool listening along, but then Puck and Finn approach her and the mood changes. Brittany only know they’ve walked up because everyone at the table instantly silences.
“We’ve saved you a seat at our table,” Puck says.
Mercedes, Kurt and Tina glance between him and Brittany like they’ve just settled in for a show.
“Thanks but I like sitting here,” Brittany answers politely then turns back to her friends. She feels them still lingering behind her though.
Puck scowls and looks to Finn who’s staring at her like she just spoke in another language.
“Look, you don’t have to perform this kind of community service by sitting with these losers,” Puck tries again, “You’ve already proved that you’re cool.”
That comment has Brittany feeling hot.
The worst thing anyone can do is make fun of her friends and even if she doesn’t hang around them as much as Sam and Mike, Kurt and Mercedes were some of the firsts to treat her with kindness when she arrived to McKinley. That doesn’t get forgotten just because she’s higher up than them on this imaginary McKinley food chain.
“Don’t call my friends losers,” Brittany warns. The politeness is still there but it’s wearing down.
Puck just shakes his head and looks to Finn, “You tell her, man.”
“Britt, you can’t sit with them,” Finn says sternly. There’s an edge to his voice, like he’s trying to simplify it for her, “Titans sit with Titans.”
“I don’t see you saving a seat for Kurt too,” Brittany challenges. She can see they’re starting to gain an audience – even Santana and Quinn watch from their assigned table – but she doesn’t waver on her stance.
“It’s different for him. You’re the quarterback. There are certain things you just can’t do. One of them being this,” Finn explains with the wave of his hand at the table, “Quit making things difficult.”
“I’m not doing anything,” Brittany snaps as she goes to stand this time and all heads turn to watch. She keeps her chin raised though Finn towers over her. She’s not going to get pushed around over something so ridiculous, “If Kurt can’t sit with the rest of the team then neither will I.”
Finn just presses his lips tightly together in a grimace while Puck stares at her in disbelief.
“You’re not Team Captain anymore, Finn, and one of these days you’re going to finally understand that the way things are done here aren’t right,” Brittany explains, “And if I have to be the one to teach you that, then so be it. I’m already schooling you on the field. I don’t mind the extra work.”
Finn scoffs at that but Puck looks a little impressed.
“Damn,” Puck smirks and glances to his side at Finn, “She might have bigger balls than you.”
Finn ignores him though.
“Whatever then,” Finn huffs, “Don’t come running to us when this backfires on you.”
“Don’t worry,” Brittany smiles sweetly, “I won’t.”
When she sits back down, Kurt’s jaw is dropped.
“That was amazing,” He applauds.
Brittany just shrugs, “I hate the double-standards at this school, almost as much as I hate bullies.”
“Well there’s a ton of them here,” Mercedes jokes before giving Brittany an approving nod, “That was pretty cool though. Don’t think I’ve ever seen Finn so tripped up.”
Brittany smiles at the compliments but she hates confrontation so the conversation doesn’t sit well with her. She knows it’s impossible to breeze through high school without a ruffling some feathers, doesn’t mean she likes to do it on purpose. She’s just not one to sit idly by either.
Brittany goes back to her lunch and tries to push away how Finn’s warning lingers in the back of her mind.
\\
By Game Time, the Titans take the field with the most energy that Brittany’s seen yet. They’ve gained quite a crowd despite it being an Away game for the them. Now that they’re on this historical winning streak, it that adds to the team’s eagerness to play and the spectators eagerness to watch.
Not to mention that this game happens to be against their biggest rivals: the Carmel High Camels.
The school has dominated across the board in all aspects, so – before Brittany’s arrival – the Titans never stood a chance. That doesn’t stop the rivalry from being any less intense. The teams’ hatred for each other runs deep, but the Titans feel revived this season because now they’ve got Brittany and Brittany’s a gun in the pocket.
Or so that’s what all the guys have been saying. Brittany tries to keep a level-head though.
She has watched the tapes of their past games against Carmel, she can see why they’re the top team to beat. The Camels are a well-oiled machine with a current standing of 5-0 as well. Their defense has been known to get aggressive when it comes to applying pressure on the QB, so Brittany’s going to have to rely heavily on her O-Line for protection.
They’ve done pretty well thus far in doing that, but Brittany knows anything can happen. The other team can just as easily find a weak point and there goes their winning streak.
Brittany shakes out her arms to loosen up and wonders if she’s being realistic here or if she’s still letting Finn and the Hockey guys get in her head. She can’t decide, so she glances up at the stands for a distraction and finds her mom and brother waving at her.
Pete’s holding up a sign he made and it has Brittany smiling at all the colors he decided to use. She gives them a wave too before she’s putting on her helmet and jogging out to join the ref and the other team’s nominated player to perform the coin toss.
When the other team wins and decides to be on the receiving end, Brittany gets a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach.
\\
The Titans are dealt their first serious blow of the season.
It’s the worse game Brittany’s played yet. Not that her performance was specifically bad, she just wasn’t prepared for the Camel’s intense man-to-man coverage which made it extremely difficult for her receivers to get open.
She also can’t believe they lost to a school that has a camel as their mascot, so weird.
The Titans had to rely on their still-developing run game which – to be put simply – sucked majorly. Puckerman was wrapped up every single time and Brittany could see that he was starting to let his emotions get to him. She tried to remind him to use that for the next play, but by then she had lost a lot of the guys’ to their rivalry.
At one point in the third quarter, the teams were a taunt away from an all-out brawl.
The Titans were just a couple yards away from the end zone – the closest they’ve been able to get all game – but Carmel High’s defense was nearly impenetrable. Even Brittany was beginning to get frustrated, but she couldn’t succumb to her emotions too.
At least one person on the team still had to keep a level head.
It was fourth down and her head was telling her to bring out Special Teams and go for a field goal. It would at least get 3 points on the board where they currently had none, but Brittany didn’t want to give up all their hard work that drive just to get a field goal.
It was a tough decision, but she decided they should go for it. Half the team looked at her like she was crazy, the other half just wanted to rip the Camels apart. Even Coach Beiste was in her ear asking if Brittany was sure that’s the route she wanted to take.
Brittany was certain she could get in there. All she needed was for her O-Line to make a small break so that she could dive in. It was a risky call, but she hoped that Carmel High was too focused on her passing game to think she’d ever go for a sneak.
And they were; Brittany was able to push in over the top for the touchdown. Unfortunately though, that would be the only one the Titans would get all game.
The Camels end the Titans winning streak: 23-7.
\\\\\
When the final whistle was blown, Santana watched Brittany pull off her helmet to reveal a disappointed frown. It had been a rough game by the looks of it, but she was no stranger to how intense games against Carmel High could be. Puck’s been ejected from at least two games for swinging on one of the other guys so that should tell you that it’s never pretty.
Brittany must’ve not known that though and Santana hates how the blonde sulks to the sidelines in defeat. She doesn’t get why she’s beating herself up, Brittany was the only one that scored!
“They look so crushed,” Quinn mumbled as they watched the rest of the team walk off the field battered and bruised.
“Yeah,” Santana breathed out.
She kept her eyes on Brittany while Coach Beiste pulled her aside to talk. Slowly, the anguish on Brittany’s face started to morph. It wasn’t so much the disappointment and defeat anymore, but instead determination.
Santana wondered what the coach was saying to her that could bring on such change.
“Hope the guys don’t give her a hard time,” Quinn says when she notices Santana watching Brittany.
Santana crinkles her nose at the thought and scoffs, “They should be used to losing to Carmel by now. It’s not her fault they couldn’t get their shit together. She’s the only one that freaking scored anyway!”
Quinn just smirks at how riled up Santana gets and replies, “I guess we’ll just have to see what it’s like on Monday.”
“Yeah. I guess so,” Santana nods and tears her gaze away from Brittany to glance at Quinn, “You still coming over tomorrow? These posters aren’t going to make themselves.”
“I’ll bring my hot glue gun,” Quinn teases before they join the rest of the squad in packing up.
\\
When it comes to Homecoming Court campaigns, Santana and Quinn are veterans. Quinn’s been doing competitions and pageants like this a lot longer – probably since Quinn was born if she’s being honest – so Santana’s pretty grateful to have learned so much from her over the years. Although they’re best friends, when it comes to Homecoming there’s nothing like a little friendly competition to keep things interesting.
They’re two of the most popular girls in school so the race tends to be pretty close, but Santana wonders if that’ll be the same this time considering how things went down last year. Santana’s reputation and status as one of the HBICs of the school really took a hit and she has had a difficult time moving forward like nothing happened.
It’s hard to forget and she wonders if it’s the same for everyone else too. She’s heard the whispers about her, but Brittany’s arrival has drowned them out. For now. Who knows when they’ll turn a critical eye back on her?
It’s not a concern Santana voices to her best friend though, so it eats away at her and whispers words of doubt while they begin campaign planning.
\\
Santana and Quinn are in the living room at the Lopez residence with all of their poster-making supplies spread out between them. They’re working away busily with some music in the background when Hector makes his way downstairs.
“Hi girls,” He greets as he slips into his jacket. Santana looks up and notices he’s dressed for work.
“Hi Mr. Lopez,” Quinn greets with a polite smile.
“You’re going to work?” Santana asks looking somewhat dejected. She thought he was off.
“I got called in. Nightshift today,” Hector confirms, “Your mom should be getting home soon though and I think she picked up something for dinner. What are you girls up to?”
Hector comes around the couch to put his shoes on, carefully moving so he doesn’t step on anything important.
“Just Homecoming stuff,” Santana answers with a shrug, trying to mask her disappointment. It’s not like they were meant to hang out or anything, but she has been noticing that he keeps his distance when it’s just them. Maybe she’s looking too far into it, but it seems like he can’t be bothered to be around her while Maribel’s away.
Or maybe he just doesn’t want to and that’s what makes Santana feel even worse. She used to be such a daddy’s girl before last year. She hastes how much everything’s changed.
“Santana and I are campaigning for Homecoming Queen,” Quinn adds when she sees Santana getting wrapped up in her thoughts.
“Ah yes, that’s right! You two always compete against each other,” Hector chuckles, “It’s good that you’re still so involved in extracurriculars, Santana.”
At the sound of her name, Santana looks up and for the first time in awhile she sees a proud smile on her dad’s face. It instantly makes her feel lighter.
“It’ll look good on your college applications,” He adds.
“I know,” Santana answers. It’s hard for her not to feel a little relieved by his encouraging words. She craves his approval, why? She has no idea.
Hector gives her a resolute nod and looks to Quinn, “My girl is going to make a great doctor one day.”
Santana’s once again pleasantly surprised by her dad’s words even if she doesn’t agree with them. My girl; she can’t remember the last time he said that. Maybe he really is starting to see that nothing’s changed, that she’s still the same person she was before it all went to shit?
“Of course,” Quinn smiles back. Santana can tell she’s faking it and she’s grateful for that.
“Well, keep up the good work!” He applauds and pushes to stand, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Santana. Good day, Quinn.”
When Hector leaves for work, Quinn throws a wad of construction paper at Santana. The brunette scoffs and looks up.
“I can’t believe you still haven’t told him you’re undecided,” Quinn says.
Santana looks to her in disbelief, “Are you kidding? That was the longest he’s ever spoken to me without my mom being there. It wasn’t until just recently that he could look me in the eye again. No way I’m going to tell the truth now.”
Quinn purses her lips. She knows very little of Santana’s dynamic with her parents, but like her own she knows most of it is all for show. Families like theirs are usually only concerned with one thing and one thing only: their reputation.
“I’m going to drag this out for as long as I can,” Santana tells Quinn before she’s going back to her arts and crafts.
Quinn just sighs, “That can’t possibly end well.”
Santana doesn’t even look up, “I’ll take my chances.”
\\
Awhile later, Santana and Quinn are nearly finished with their posters. They’ve gone with three variations of posters that they can hang around school on Monday and they’re pretty pleased with their work.
Like Hector said, Maribel comes home a short while later with take out and there’s enough for Quinn too so the three of them have dinner together on the couch while watching tv – something they wouldn’t dare do if her dad was around.
They’re talking about their Homecoming campaigns with Maribel when Santana accidentally brings up Brittany.
“You’ve never mentioned a Brittany before,” Maribel states as she turns away from the tv to Santana, looking as interested as ever.
Santana wants to kick herself for the slip up, but she does her best to deflect with a shrug, “She’s new to McKinley.”
She doesn’t know why she makes a point to leave out that Brittany’s also the Titans’ new QB and she feels a little disappointed in herself that she does.
“I’ve heard she might run,” Quinn adds with her eyes on the tv screen still.
Santana had a feeling Brittany might get talked into it, but she didn’t think she’d actually do it. She surprisingly has mixed feelings about it. She needs the win to solidify her reputation, but she doubts she’ll stand a chance against Brittany.
There’s also the small chance that Brittany’s only being nominated as a joke. Santana knows how the people of McKinley act and it’s not usually out of kindness.
Santana shakes her head, “No way. She hates the limelight.”
Quinn quirks a brow as she turns to Santana, “What would you know?”
“We talk sometimes,” Santana shrugs again casually. Quinn and Maribel eye her for more information, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Quinn begins to smirk, “You talk, huh?”
Santana flinches and glances to her mom out of reflex but Maribel’s too swept up in watching tv again to notice.
“We have class together,” Santana explains, “She sits right next to me. We’re bound to talk at some point. Don’t make it weird.”
“I wouldn’t if you didn’t bring her up so often,” Quinn replies. She laughs when Santana rolls her eyes at her, “What? I think it would be nice for you to have another friend besides me.”
“I have other friends,” Santana argues but even she knows that’s a lie.
“You have many acquaintances,” Quinn corrects, “You don’t consider any of them friends.”
Maribel chimes in next now that the show’s on commercial, “I wouldn’t mind you making another friend, mija. You can never have too many.”
Santana fights another eye roll because of course her mom would say that. Santana doesn’t say anything in response – she doesn’t know how to tell her that being friends with another girl isn’t as easy as it use to be, not to mention that girl being Brittany.
She doubts Maribel would understand, so Santana just goes back to watching tv until her mom excuses herself for the night.
\\
It’s not until Quinn’s sure that they’re alone that she brings up the topic again.
“I just think you two would really hit it off,” Quinn reasons.
“So we’re not talking about friendship anymore?” Santana asks sarcastically.
“I mean, it could start off that way?” Quinn shrugs, “Like you said, you already share a class together. Plus I’ve seen you two talk by your lockers. Not to mention the way I witnessed you check her out the other day in the hall.”
Santana whirls on Quinn with wide eyes, “You didn’t witness shit.”
“I disagree.”
“I don’t know how when you were too busy checking out Boy Chang.”
Quinn’s jaw drops, “I-I wasn’t.”
Santana smirks upon seeing the blonde’s cheeks flush, “Sure Q. How is Mike anyway? You two done side-stepping around the obvious yet?”
“Don’t try to deflect,” Quinn says pointedly, “This isn’t about me. We’re talking about you.”
Santana just grumbles at her best friend’s persistence. She’s starting to feel like the walls are closing in on her or something, “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Uh yeah there is. Brittany’s perf – “
“Can you stop?” Santana finally insists.
Quinn looks taken aback but she doesn’t say anything. Santana just feels like she’s about to crumble apart. She hates that feeling, it seemed like she was stuck in it for all of last year. So when she feels it creeping in again, it puts her on edge.
“I’m not ready for that,” Santana admits softly. Her gaze averts to her hands wringing themselves out in her lap, “She’s too…I don’t know. I just can’t. I can’t do it yet, okay?”
Quinn softens as she watches Santana shrink in on herself. She scoots closer to her, “Baby steps at least? All joking aside, I really do think she’d be good for you. I mean, how many other people at this school can you relate to? There’s Kurt, but he doesn’t really count. Does he?”
Santana knows she means because he’s a guy and agrees, “No, I guess he doesn’t.”
“And then there’s Berry…” Quinn jokes, “But I doubt you’re going to want to make nice with her after all of these years.”
Santana cringes, “Definitely not. She’d probably make me sing a homoerotic song with her or some bullshit that would have me running back in the closet.”
“Exactly. So I think you should try it with Brittany,” Quinn suggests lightly, “She seems sweet, relatively normal. I can see the appeal, you know? There’s something about her, it’s refreshing. She isn’t like everyone else in this town.”
Santana can’t help but smile.
“You’re right,” Santana says, “She’s better.”
“So you’re gonna try?” Quinn questions.
Santana fakes an eye-roll, “Maybe but don’t meddle, alright? I know how you thrive off of other people’s drama.”
Quinn doesn’t even mind the jab and goes to pull Santana in for a tight hug. Santana pretends she hates it, but after so many years of friendship they both know she doesn’t.
\\\\\
By Monday, Brittany has somewhat prepared herself for the criticism she’s bound to hear about Friday night’s game. Coach Beiste’s encouraging words after the game really helped break up the haze of disappointment, but there was something that stood out to her during their short talk.
“They’re going to give you a lot of grief after this. A loss to Carmel is always a hard pill to swallow, but stand tall. Don’t let these guys walk all over you,” Coach Beiste said, “You’re a great Team Captain, Pierce. You’ve helped improve the team so much already, keep that up. Set the example for these guys, it’s a good one to follow.”
She spent the entire weekend trying to get right with the loss and focus on how she was personally going to improve moving forward. She wanted to set the right kind of example for the guys, she wanted to leave McKinley better than she found it.
Still, no matter what kind of preparations she did, that nervous feeling still lingered.
There was tension everywhere: between the Titans and Carmel High, the Titans and the Hockey guys, the Titans and Brittany. Then she has Coach Beiste in her ear basically saying she needs to girl up if she wants to continue gaining the team’s respect.
It was a lot for Brittany to deal with.
She knew that being Team Captain meant that she had additional responsibilities, but she had very little experience when it came to all of this casual hatred. Sure, at her old school there were other teams that they wanted to beat but it wasn’t ever this intense.
But, Brittany loves a challenge so she’s determined to keep at this until she gets it. Moving forward, she was more determined than ever to win the next time the Titans and the Camels crossed paths.
So when Brittany arrives at school, she holds her head high and braces herself for whatever may come.
\\
Surprisingly, no one approaches Brittany about the loss. In fact, everyone’s mostly swept up in the excitement of the first day of Spirit Week – which Brittany totally forgot about. Dressed in her jeans and blouse, Brittany sticks out like a sore thumb in a sea of students still in their pajamas.
But at least the weird looks are because of her attire and not about the game. She thinks she can handle that and heads over to her locker. There, she finds Santana applying lip gloss in the tiny mirror she has stuck to the inside of her locker door.
“Hey,” Brittany greets as she starts to put in her combo.
Santana glances at her through the corner of her mirror and spins. Her greeting dies when she sees what the blonde is wearing, “Didn’t know you were the type that slept in jeans, Pierce.”
Brittany smirks at the teasing tone, “Didn’t know you kept that uniform on all hours of the day either.”
“I don’t,” Santana answers in a tone Brittany isn’t familiar with. It has her peeking around her locker door to see if she can read what it might mean instead, but Santana’s expression changes to one of annoyance, “Coach doesn’t let the Cheerios participate in Pajama Day.”
Brittany frowns, “Why not? Aren’t you guys meant to be the most enthusiastic about it all?”
“I’m sure there’s some batshit crazy reason that makes zero sense,” Santana shrugs as she closes her locker, “Anyway, I can’t be late today so I’ll see you later.”
“Sure,” Brittany smiles, “I’ll see you later.”
When Santana sends a glance over her shoulder, Brittany thinks that maybe today will be a good one after all.
\\
Brittany makes it to the end of the school day without a single incident.
No random interviews from JBI, the Hockey guys don’t show their faces, and the guys on the football team leave her alone at lunch. It’s oddly normal for a Monday after a loss, but Brittany doesn’t complain.
It’s not until after football practice that things start to change.
“I’ve noticed you don’t have any posters up,” Kurt says. Coach Beiste has just dismissed the team after a post-practice huddle.
“Posters for what?” Brittany wonders as she watches Coach Beiste and her assistant head for their office. She has a feeling that she knows what Kurt’s hinting at, but she plays coy.
“For Homecoming, obviously,” Kurt chuckles, “You’re a shoe in.”
Brittany shakes her head, “Yeah. I don’t really care about that stuff.”
Kurt looks shocked as he trails after Brittany towards the water station, “Well you should, it’s like on of the two biggest events at McKinley. The other being Prom, of course, but that’s months away.”
Brittany sips her water slowly before shaking her head again, “I just don’t have the time.”
“What if I made up something for you?”
Brittany’s surprised by his persistence, “Oh no, you don’t have to.”
“I want to,” Kurt offered. He glanced around at the guys grabbing water too and pulled Brittany to move further away from them, “I really admire you.”
Brittany’s flattered, but she stays silent as she crumples the paper cup and tosses in the trash before moving to get her duffle bag from the sideline.
“It’s usually a popularity contests between the Cheerios and jocks, but I think it would be a nice change to have someone like you win,” Kurt continues, “You’re the kind of representation people like us need.”
Brittany glances up, “People like us?”
“You know…” Kurt nods to her keychain.
Suddenly the dots are connecting for Brittany and she lets out a long sigh, “You know Kurt, I’m a lot more than my sexuality.”
“I know that,” Kurt replies and he looks genuine about it, “I know, but there are people in this school that are still afraid to be themselves and you’re obviously not like that. You just live in your truth and it’s truly inspiring. I didn’t think Lima would see the day to be honest, but you came in like a breath of fresh air.”
Again, Brittany feels her cheeks heating up at the compliment. She doesn’t see herself in the same light at all. She’s just Brittany. She goes through day treating people with kindness and tries to do what she thinks is right just like anyone else. She really isn’t that much different.
“I don’t know what it was like at your old school, but we’re just not there yet. People are as ignorant as ever here,” Kurt tells her and Brittany can immediately sense the frustration and hurt. He tries to mask it though, “Just the other day, Karofsky slushied me for wearing an ascot.”
Brittany stiffened, “He did what?”
Kurt eyed Brittany’s confusion and matched it, “Slushied me? It was actually pretty upsetting, that ascot was designer and the red dye completely ruined it.”
Brittany was still hung up on the fact that Kurt had a slushie thrown at him. She stood, her brows furrowing. She started to feel hot all over as Kurt continued to talk.
“Is that not something that happens where you came from?” He asks. Brittany shakes her head, “It happens all the time here. Most of the guys on the team have done it aside from like Sam, Mike and Matt.”
“Are you serious?” Brittany realizes the feeling is anger and it starts to consume her.
Kurt looks uncertain, “Yeah? They usually go after people they consider beneath them but I think it really just depends on their mood that day. If you even look at someone on the team wrong, you’re probably getting slushied. It’s happened to me so many times. Karofsky’s probably the worst one.”
“Fuck that,” Brittany snaps and storms straight over to Dave. He’s mingling with Azimio and some of the other guys on her O-Line when Brittany gives him a shove without thinking, “Hey!”
He barely moves but she’s gained everyone’s attention now and they all rush over.
“Woah!” The guys around him holler. Brittany doesn’t pay them any attention, she just keeps her eyes narrowed.
Karofsky looks her up and down, “What’s got your panties in a knot?”
“Must be a mood swing,” Azimio laughs.
Brittany ignores him, “Actually it’s the fact that my Right Guard thinks it okay to bully people.”
Dave’s brows shoot up, “What now?”
“Britt,” Kurt pleads from behind her, “Don’t. It’s fine.”
“No Kurt, it isn’t fine,” Brittany says firmly before she’s glaring at Dave, “It’s fucking ridiculous.” She looks around at the guys that have gathered around and targets each of them, “What’s wrong with you people? Kurt is your teammate!”
She sees Mike and Sam exchange a confused glance along with Finn. Puck’s smirking and Matt just stares blankly at the others around him. Everyone’s trying to fill in the blanks here.
“I’ve never met so many who are just blatantly ignorant,” Brittany snaps. She’s so fired up now, “It shouldn’t matter what anyone’s labels are, if they’re on this team you’re meant to have their back. That’s just common sense, human decency!”
Azimio scoffs, “Listen, he’s – “
“No, you listen,” Brittany growls as she steps up to him and pokes at his chest. She turns her glare onto everyone else, “You all listen. Kurt made it on this team – same as everyone else here – and you’ll treat him with some respect!”
“Is this about the slushies?” Finn mumbles through his dopey confusion.
Brittany looks at him in disbelief before turning to Mike, “How long has this been a thing?”
Mike goes to answer but Finn cuts him off, “Forever.”
“Slushie facials are like tradition,” Puck adds. He still has on that cocky smirk, “It’s how we uphold our badass reps.” He goes to high five the guy next to him while others on the team nod in agreement.
Brittany frowns at him – at them all, “Well not anymore. There’s nothing badass about being an asshole.”
Puck’s smirk drops; the rest of the team looks surprised by Brittany words too.
“It’s mean, it’s bullying and I’m not going to stand for it as long as I’m QB,” She says firmly.
“But that’s how it has always been,” Finn challenges, “You can’t just go changing tradition just because you don’t like it.”
Brittany wants to laugh. She wants to smack him upside the head and shake some sense into him but she’s not the violent type – not usually. If anything, she’s disappointed that someone so deluded has been in charge of leading a team for so long.
“Watch me,” Brittany threatens. She stands tall and keeps her eyes narrowed on him, “Just because something’s always been done one way doesn’t make it right. I’m not going to lead a team full of close-minded Neanderthals to a Championship victory.”
Puck scoffs, “You really want to talk about victories after the last game?”
Brittany quirks a brow, “Tell me, Puckerman, who was it again that put a touchdown on the board? The only one of the entire game?”
She can hear Sam snickering from beside her at the sight of Puck looking dumbfounded.
“That’s what I thought,” Brittany smirks before she’s eyeing everyone else again, “I’m glad we lost, maybe it’ll knock you all off your high horses.” She can see the eye rolls she gets for that comment but she stands her ground, “There’s nothing worse than an overly-confident team and that’s exactly what was happening here. You all let it get to your heads and it cost us the game.”
“That’s bullshit,” Karofsky waves off, “What would she know?”
“A lot, apparently,” Brittany argues, “I’ve won a Championship title already. Hell, I’ve won two!”
“Shit, really?” Matt’s impressed, but Azimio shoves at him to shut up.
“Yeah, so this is nothing new to me,” Brittany adds, “But for all of you – seniors without a single playoff appearance let alone a victory – you’re going to want to straighten up if you want me to stay.”
“I can’t believe we’re letting a girl lead us,” Azimio complains, “What is the world coming to?”
Sam looks puzzled, “Dude. Coach Beiste is a girl.”
“Shut up, Evans,” Karofsky orders, “You know what he meant.”
“This girl doesn’t have to lead you,” Brittany replies as she steps up to Azimio, “I’m more than happy to hand all of this over to Finn, you can let him be in charge again. I guarantee you that he’s not taking this team to the top, but if you’re fine being losers then that’s cool.”
Half of the team glance to Finn and it looks like they can’t help but to agree with Brittany. He’s had three years to prove himself and he’s gotten nowhere. Brittany broke the losing streak in her very first appearance as a Titan and it wasn’t even a regular season game yet, so what does that say?
“No more slushie facials or whatever you call it. Like I said, I’m not going to lead a team of close-minded bullies to the Championship game. You’re free to go if you don’t like that decision,” Brittany tells them without any room for argument then looks directly at Karofsky and Azimio, “I’m sure Coach wouldn’t mind losing the dead weight. So, who wants to go?”
Azimio rolls his eyes but relents, “Nah. I’m staying, I want to win.”
Karofsky looks furious still, but he relents as well with just a single nod to show Brittany he agrees with Azimio. The rest of the team nod too.
“Great,” Brittany gives the team a proud smile, “Glad we’re all on the same page now. See you tomorrow for practice.”
She walks off the field without another word while the team is still reeling behind her.
\\
Tuesday morning starts off just the same as the morning before except this time she sees that the hallways have been covered in Homecoming Court campaign posters. Or maybe she was too lost in her thoughts yesterday to notice. The only people Brittany recognizes though are: Santana, Quinn and that guy Rick.
Brittany rolls her eyes at the last one; who would ever vote for that dickhead?
When Brittany gets to her locker, she finds that she has beaten Santana this time around. She’s busy trying to organize her books in her bag when she sees crisp white tennis shoes appear next to her.
“Nice shirt,” Santana compliments, “See you finally decided to participate and show some school spirit.”
Brittany blushes but tries to recover by giving back a little sarcasm, “Tie Dye Tuesday? How could I resist? It’s so original.”
Santana rolls her eyes though she smiles brightly. Brittany grins too and takes in the tie dye shirt Santana has on made up of red and black. Her eyes dip lower to find that Santana’s still wearing her Cheerios skirt underneath and it has her shaking her head.
“You really wear that uniform 24/7,” Brittany notes with a chuckle, “Do you ever take it off?”
“Nope,” Santana jokes, “It’s like a second skin to me now.”
“Gross,” Brittany scrunches her nose at the image before changing the subject, “I like your Homecoming Court posters by the way.”
“Thanks,” Santana smiles, “Nominations aren’t officially out yet, but Quinn and I are always on the ballot. Might as well get a head start.”
Brittany nods, “Well you’ve got my vote.”
“So I heard you threatened the entire football team yesterday,” Santana says instead of thanking her again.
Brittany bites her lip but she’s glad the locker door hides her from Santana for the moment, “News really does travel fast around here.”
“Not much usually happens,” Santana replies, “You’re really shaking things up.”
“Yeah, well…” Brittany sighs as she closes her locker, “It wasn’t really a threat. I just don’t like bullies.”
“I should watch out then,” Santana says as she closes her locker too. The way she’s smirking at Brittany has the blonde feeling drawn in.
“Why?” Brittany finds herself asking, “Are you a bully?”
“That’s what they say,” Santana lifts her shoulder casually before she’s batting her long lashes up at Brittany, “You gonna threaten me too?”
Brittany finds herself laughing; she can’t imagine threatening Santana.
“I don’t think I need to,” Brittany tells her behind a small smile, “You’re smart; you know what’s right and what isn’t.”
Santana just tilts her head to the side and stares. Her expression is hard to read, but there’s a hint of a smile there so Brittany knows she hasn’t crossed a line or said something wrong.
“I’ll see you later, Pierce,” Santana says just as the bell rings.
And just like always, Brittany nods and watches Santana disappear down the hall – a sea of students parting just for her.
\\
By the end of the day, Brittany sits next to Santana in their final class listening to the afternoon announcements. It’s almost time for them to announce the nominations for Homecoming Court and Brittany can just feel the anticipation radiating off of Santana.
She looks a little nervous too which confuses Brittany. Earlier Santana said that she and Quinn always get nominated; why would she be worried now?
Still, Brittany doodles away in her notebook while Coach Sylvester starts to read off the names.
“Votes will be counted on the night of the Homecoming Dance by a team of respected officials so don’t even think about trying to vote twice. All illegal ballots will be tossed,” Coach Sylvester explains stiffly, “Here are the nominations for Homecoming Queen: Missy Gunderson, Quinn Fabray and Santana Lopez.”
Brittany glances to her side to see the proud smile Santana tries to keep hidden.
“Congrats,” Brittany whispers to her.
“Thanks,” Santana whispers back before turning to face the board again, “Hopefully guys from the Titans get nominated too. No way I’m going with a Puck Head.”
Brittany nods; if anyone on the team is worthy enough to be nominated she’d pick Mike or Sam or Kurt but that might be a little bias since they’re her friends.
“No surprises there,” Coach Sylvester grumbles, “And finally the nominations for Homecoming King are as follows: Rick Nelson, Scott Cooper and Brittany S. Pierce…wait, how does that work?”
Brittany’s eyes go wide upon hearing her name – after the loss the Titans sustained on Friday, after her hard stance on slushie facials, after her lack of self-promotion…she still gets nominated? It doesn’t make any sense.
She doesn’t even hear the rest of the announcements – she’s that surprised.
“This has got to be a mistake,” Brittany murmurs out of disbelief.
“Perks of being the quarterback,” Santana says, “You were bound to get roped into something.”
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bee, love, i am so happy you had a good first day, you deserve calm and loving days, and you deserve people, deserve friends. i’m so happy for you.
as for apologising, i’m a terrible hypocrite every time i tell you not to worry about it, as i also apologise for anything, most notably existing, but i want you to know you don’t have to apologise to me, i understand the impulse but there’s no obligation or anything.
i’m glad you’re feeling better, and that it was just a little ick, well not glad that you were ick but glad it wasn’t too bad.
when it comes to being in welton, i fantasise a lot about these things, i think something especially about boarding schools is appealing to me. being away. that’s why my plans are new york or wales or if my friend is to be believed, quebec. sometimes though, those realities all feel more and more like tissue paper soaked in water, just waiting for a reason to fall apart
i read really quickly, it’s probably an issue, i read red white and royal blue in about an hour and fifteen minutes. neil and i. kindred spirits. today at lunch i watched the last thirty minutes of dead poets society, going back to rewatch “i was good, i was really good.” like ten times.
imposter syndrome is slowly getting the better of me.
i actually dressed up as leia for the midnight premiere of the force awakens. i’m that person. if i’d been with you in the cinema i would have cried too, you’re not alone there, i cried watching it on the floor.
i don’t deserve the nice words you give me, but i’m happy i make you feel comfy and cosy, and ironically enough, writing with a quill or fountain pen never ends in pristine and unsmudged ink, you can thank my being left handed for that. i think there’s something nice about writing with fancy pens, maybe that makes me seem pretentious as well. oh well.
as for dps tattoos, if i can ever get any tattoos, i want the neil crown, “i was good, i was really good.” somewhere, probably my wrist who knows, and some art that alludes to the first unmanned flying desk set. among others. the “and still we sleep” thought, and the outline of meeks and pitts both sound so lovely. so so lovely. i really hope you can get every tattoo you wish. although your bank account may hate me for saying so /j i want more piercings, mainly on my ears, i have something of an earring addiction, my favourite pair at the moment is probably my howl drop earrings that look like howls from howls moving castle.
honestly the outfit/hair colour distraction rule is dumb. it’s dumb. i just don’t get it. abuse of power ig. and yeah. we were like hugging and sorta just leaning on each other while talking and the administrator got angry, for whatever reason. the straight couple making out behind us, she didn’t seem to mind, however. it’s dumb, and im glad i don’t go there anymore.
im clearly very articulate today (sarcasm) my mind is ehhhhhhhhhhh and feels like a squirrel laying on its stomach.
maybe i will call you ramona flowers, bee /j did you know the original name for pac man was puck man… /j hiding in the back of the music room to avoid a maths test sounds like something i would do. i say this, knowing full well that i’m such a neil kinnie that i end up feeling like a teachers pet because i want to do well, both for myself and simply to avoid trouble with my mum.
a new york times best seller, huh? well if i ever publish anything i’ll dedicate it to you, both for being the only person who thought i could be a storyteller, but also for being a lovely person in general.
sometimes one day after another feels impossible. tomorrow feels impossible. but oh well. i think younger me would be disappointed, to some degree. on the other hand, i think they’d think it’s cool how much i know. if nothing else, they’d love that i have a typewriter. also, i’m sure young you would be proud of you, i am. i’m so proud of you.
i mean bee, i could teach you to shoot a bow /hj YOU CAN WIELD A SWORD????? here i was thinking you could not possibly get cooler or hotter omg i’m in love /hj
thank you for being proud of me, really bee, thank you. and thank you for being the only one. i’m hardly changing the world, but i guess if i don’t burn out and lose this fight, changing a few points of views in the process of growing wouldn’t be terrible.
p.s. it’s certainly something, i feel bad because i always pull away from people when i get numb and it’s so new that me doing that could be detrimental to everything, but me forcing myself not to could have a bad effect on me. who knows what’ll happen. i’m just gonna try and keep them happy no matter what.
p. p. s. bee you brought this upon yourself /lh
all my love, bee, and that pun was the out of this world part of that sentence. you’re so cute omg.
that quote is beautiful, and since i, once again, had to translate french and smile about it, i’ll leave you with this
no importa que nos separe la distancia, siempre habrá un mismo cielo que nos una.
p.p.p.s. thank you for saying what you do, and i know that i don’t owe you anything, but writing to you is easy, and makes me happy, when i manage to get myself to sit down and think about it. i’m sending you back hugs, gentle forehead kisses and mugs of tea, a soft blanket and a narnia movie marathon, where we argue about how i am definitely not better than susan pevensie, but you almost certainly might be.
i’m so happy uni is going well thus far, love. and i hope you love your classes. learning.
thank you for everything bee.
yours, always,
star✨
star sweetheart, thank you so so much, honestly. i can't tell you how much that means - i know you said not to apologise, but an apology seems in order for the lateness of this message- im terrible i know /lh thank you sm though.
i'm writing this whilst listening to one of my favourite albums (hypersonic missiles by sam fender, if you were curious) and curled up in bed, so this really adds to the comforting vibes.
i'm with you on that, boarding schools do have a certain something about them, don't they? i hope you can get to one or all of these places in your life - i can speak from experience wales is especially beautiful, but i can really see you in new york, too. wherever you end up star, i truly hope you're happy there.
an hour and fifteen mins?!!? the fastest i've read something was a clockwork orange in two and a half hours or so- you are so strong star, i've watched that film 20+ times and only watched the last half an hour maybe 4 /lh
that is SO CUTE oh my god- i will admit, for it chapter two i did channel my inner bill denbrough and wore some flannel (i luv that limbo <3)
you deserve all of these words and more, i promise you. you deserve something a lot less clumsy, but i offer you my best. left handed.. you rly are neil huh? /j
all of those ideas; absolutely lovely. the i was good tattoo breaks my heart in the best way possible. im hoping you get all of these tattoos, love. you'd suit them more than anyone, i'm sure. those earrings sound like the coolest fucking things ever? i did have a pair that had a little vodka bottle on, but i lost one in a club and haven't gotten round to replacing them. i definitely want more piercings too,, my conch is looking pretty bare as of late...
that is just. so disgusting? im so- god that makes me so angry i can't even explain. i think i should punch all homophobes straight in the mouth, actually /hj
love, i bet younger you would be so so proud of all you've achieved. from only what you've told me, i am. they'd be over the moon at how intellectual, kind and strong you are, i know it.
I CAN!!! ITS ONE OF MY MOST ESTEEMED TALENTS!!! lets make a deal. you teach me to shoot a bow, i teach you to wield a sword.. we're giving very narnia power couple if i may say.. /hj
i will always be proud of you star, for even the smallest of things you achieve. you're actively making a difference and a change, take bringing this positivity into my life for example. you've got this, star. i know you have.
ps; im wishing you all the best my love, seriously. take every day as it comes, and listen to your mind and wellbeing. im sending you so much love
pps; that quote. is so fucking cute. god im breaking down,, its so pretty and so DHJHFJKNFKKN yeah.
this is me, making you a cup of coffee and your favourite comfort meal, with a kiss on the top of the head. we will have this argument - as much as i love susan, she's no match for you <33
all of my love and happiness, star. you truly are one of a kind.
if i may, i'd like to leave you with an excerpt from a poem i saw earlier that i fell in love with;
"and you laugh. / loudly- / head tipping back. / and while your eyes / are on the ceiling, / i am mouthing / something too heavy even / for this steady night to shoulder. / "this is not a joke." i mouth. / "love me. love me." - letters from medea, salma deera
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What more can you give? (YUNGBLUD x reader)
A/N: A little something for the Black Hearts Club this Christmas, hope y’all have a good one!
Dom has been working on a new album, to the detriment of his health. You force him to take Christmas off.
You knew Dom was passionate. It was one of the attributes that drew you to him initially; but seeing everything else he cared about fall to the side so that he could finish his latest album was something you knew Dom would want intervention for. Remembering his excitement whenever he makes a breakthrough made you smile. Your smile falls just as quickly when you think about how he’s so easily immersed and sucked into his music. He has tunnel vision; you’d unconditionally support him but even you had to admit it was difficult to, especially so close to the holidays.
The holidays had always been a controversial time for you. Growing up despite always having ‘good’ Christmases, they always feel a little off, a little fake, to you. You dreaded your first Christmas with Dom. It was your second Christmas after leaving home and you’d quite enjoyed that first year of just you alone. Maybe ‘dreaded’ was the wrong word, you cherished every moment with Dom and loved spending secluded winter moments with him but this hyperactive puppy on Christmas Day may be too much for your lack of enthusiasm. You really didn’t want to ruin his holiday, especially right now. No matter what you felt, you wanted to make this Christmas as laid back and ecstatic for him as possible. He needed some time, an excuse, to let loose and be silly and not have to think so much. He needed to lose the furrowed brow.
--------------------
As the season progressed it became more and more evident that drastic measures were going to have to be taken.
The morning after your work Christmas party (an event you had managed to get Dom to spare some time and headspace for) you woke intending to perform your traditional lazy morning in bed routine. You say tradition but for the last two months it had fallen by the wayside but, since you and Dom had purposely scheduled the day to be free, there was no better time to recommence it. You stretched under the pale frosty sunrays that spread across your duvet, humming with satisfaction as a cold chill tingled against your upper arms and elevated the warmth of the rest of your body. The lazy grin stretching upon your face was yearning to be nuzzled between Dom’s shoulder blades but as you wriggled around to find his body, your ankle met the brisk chill of the bedsheet. The duvet had been cast aside and the bed was empty. Now you didn’t feel quite so blissful because sat on the pillow, his pillow, was a pink post-it note reading:
Darlin
Gone to the studio
Luv ya!
You smiled at the sentiment before reminding yourself that this was now a common occurrence. Therefore, you rolled your eyes and flopped back down onto your pillow.
--------------------
A week later and you’d come down with the flu. For the best part of three days you were practically comatose on the couch: wrapped in a duvet, high on paracetamol and binge watching American Horror Story. You had hives blotching your body, moments when your vision would blackout and extreme skin sensitivity, as well as the usual symptoms. Dom had given in to your demands that he not see you until you were over the worst and you suppose, in some sense, he was grateful you were holed up at home because it meant he could burn himself out at the studio without your physical interference. Not that he didn’t care, he maintained constant contact and care for you…just from a distance. He’d given you what you asked for and you were especially thankful as it gave you the perfect opportunity to discuss a family visit with Sam.
--------------------
“Love? You home?”
“Yeah, just in the bedroom.”
“Whatcha doin?”
“Dominic. Baby, you know I love a cuddle but I’m trying to pack…”
“What we packing for? Are you leaving?”
“Oh, stop it, if I was leaving would I pack your boxers? I’ll tell you right now the answer is no. We are packing to spend a couple days with your parents.”
“But I got studio-“
“Uh- no, you don’t. That studio time never got booked. You can be as angry as you want but this is an intervention. You’re taking Christmas off. And it’s your mother’s birthday so…”
“Why? You understand how much this means to me.”
“Does it mean more to you than family? You’ve got to remember that everyone celebrates Christmas. Maybe Yungblud wants to be in the studio but don’t you think Adam, Tom and Michael might want to be home for the holidays?”
“I just…”
“I know, darling. I do. It means everything to you; we all know how dedicated you are and how much the fans mean to you. But take a second: close your eyes, breathe and look inside yourself. Dom, baby, you’re burning out. Please, please, just take a few days out with me.”
“I will, love.”
--------------------
By late Christmas Eve you were back at Dom’s apartment. He’d enjoyed catching up with his parents and messing about with his sisters but had declined the opportunity to stay for actual Christmas Day because he wanted your first Christmas together to be alone and shamelessly romantic, or so his mother told you after the New Year. The entire journey to London was spent with Dom’s USB in the radio and him trying to find the lyrics to match the earworm he’d already recorded.
He then proceeded to spend the night on his laptop with headphones and composition software, only moving to sleep when you hauled him up and claimed that his present would be replaced with coal. He was out like a light. The second that boy sunk into the mattress he was gone. It made you frustrated because it proved that you were right. You loved him dearly, of course, but he was a stubborn bugger – absolute in the belief that he wasn’t too tired and too overworked so could continue his new routine. Idiot. Wouldn’t listen to reason or accept help and now he’s passing out to sleep instead of just sleeping like a log.
--------------------
You were jarred awake to the tones of ‘Last Christmas’ by WHAM. You smiled beneath the blanket covering your face; it was Christmas. The mattress was empty next to you, again, but you knew Dom wasn’t far. And that he wasn’t working. With that reassurance in mind you burrowed deeper into the covers and allowed the gentle beat of the music drift you into a state between awake and sleep.
The floorboards began to groan but you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes fully. A gentle thud sounded as something was placed on the stack of books by your bed. A kiss was planted on the crown of your head. The floorboards creaked and the door squeaked as it was left ajar.
You prised your eyes open and saw a steaming mug of tea atop your battered copy of ‘the Help’. A warm fuzz filled you as a sleepy smile emerged. Shuffling to sit by your pillow you reach for you tea, cradling it in your hands and resting it against your chest. The smell and warmth bringing immediate comfort to you; the steam felt therapeutic against the dry skin of your face – the English winter wind is brutal. You stayed curled up with your drink for the next half hour. Dom had evidently unearthed the Christmas album from where you’d hidden it and you had to admit the stream of festivity in your ears was making you light up. The children in the flat above yours were scampering about, letting out excited yells and being shushed by their parents; it made you think of how your future Christmases may one day be…
--------------------
Once the dregs of your tea had been drunk, you made a move. Swinging your legs out of bed you hissed at the cold floor and reached for the oversized pink socks you’d smuggled out of the latest Yungblud merch collection. Deciding already that you’d need another layer, you found your favourite cardigan strewn across the foot of the bed. Now amply protected from the elements you ventured out of your bedroom towards the source of the noise.
You’d intended to make Dom aware that you were awake immediately but the serenity of the scene you walked in on made you freeze. Dom was filling the coffee machine, unloading the dishwasher and clearing surfaces for the midday bomb that would be two young adults pretending to adult and cook an entire Christmas lunch. The domesticity and thoughtfulness in his actions warmed your heart. What made you tear up, however, was the sight of his shoulders.
(And not just because his unzipped hoodie was sliding off his shoulder giving you a…view.)
As he bopped around the kitchen, all bent knees and dramatic wrists, the swaying flow of his shoulders was effortless. For months they had gathered tension and rigidity, and now it seemed he no longer held the weight of the entire world there. Dom suddenly began to spin, arms out and laughing. Your stomach swooped causing a bubble of laughter to escape. As ‘Christmas (Baby Come Home)’ played out he stared at you. Up and down. You got shy in the doorway. His boyish grin returned, with the full force of his teeth behind it.
The opening chord of ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ began and you could tell from the twitch of his lip that your moment of silent reflection was over. He swung the mug from your hand, while twirling you, to place it on the side before bringing you close. For the next couple of minutes, the pair of you jumped and dropped and lively slow danced until you were breathless, sweaty and giggling.
--------------------
Dom collapsed over you: arms flung over your shoulders like dead weight, head resting beside yours and legs each side of one of your own.
“I’ve been in my head. I’m sorry.”
“Dom-“
“No, love. I went too far. Balance is hard for me cus I just wanna throw myself into everything 100% always but I neglected you and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Dom. I understand that about you; not just that, I love that about you.”
“The thing is, you might want to take that apology because it’s all I have to offer you today…”
You chuckled, “What more can you give me? These past few days you’ve given me the trust to make judgements for you. That means everything to me.”
“Well…you’re my favourite. And I’m going to keep you forever.”
#yungblud#yungblud fanfic#yungblud oneshot#yungblud fluff#yungblud x reader#dom harrison#christmas#domestic#dominic harrison#black hearts club#oneshot#fanfiction#fanfic#i'm writing#backoftheroomandnotbelonging
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INFP Music Collaboration Project: Complete!
The INFP Collaboration Playlist Project is now complete!
In total we had about 200 songs submitted and that completely blew me away! Thank you all so much for participating, I had no idea that it would get this many responses!
Thank you especially to @rokokokokolores, @stillnotknowing, @anypassingthought, @2nerd4this, @sonsoftie, @aseratreasures, @infp-relatable, @lunagirl0013, @idunno-justpicksomething, and @namhamjoon (please let me know if I accidentally forgot to tag you)
These are just the participants who were okay with being named but also thank you to all of the anonymous participants!
Here’s the final playlist from everyone’s suggestions, including some of mine that I threw in even though some of you beat me to the punch for a few songs.
Here is the INFP Music Collaboration Project!
Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2F8xgXYEKiJSBOo7g8IvON
I was thinking of doing another one of these in the future but just make up my own prompts and put them all in one form and leave it open for a while or forever and just update the playlist twice a month or something like that. If you have ideas, just drop a comment or an ask if you want it to be anonymous.
For those who want to know what the playlist turned out to be, here’s the list of songs with their categories below this break:
PROMPT #01: A SONG YOU LIKE WITH A COLOR IN THE TITLE
Silver Dagger - Live at Cecil Sharp House - The Staves
Today I Sing the Blues - Aretha Franklin
Pink Moon - Nick Drake
White Flag - Joseph
Black Swan - BTS
Indigo - Origa
Everything Black - Unlike Pluto
Red Sun - DREAMCATCHER
Yellow Lights - Harry Hudson
Red Hill Mining Town - U2
PROMPT #02: A SONG YOU LIKE WITH A NUMBER IN THE TITLE
.stage 4 fear of trying. - Frank Iero
Symphony No.5 In B-Flat, Op.100: 2. Allegro marcato - Sergei Prokofiev
One More Time with Feeling - Regina Spektor
100 Bad Days - AJR
R.I.P. 2 My Youth - The Neighbourhood
+THNX190519+ - CL
100 Ways - Jackson Wang
Day 1 â—‘ - HONNE
18 - Anarbor
Two - Sleeping At Last
Three Tree Town - Ben Howard
PROMPT #03: A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF SUMMERTIME
Fumes - EDEN
Summertime Sadness - Lana Del Rey
T-Shirt Weather - Circa Waves
ME! (feat. Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco) - Taylor Swift
Dream - Priscilla Ahn
Carnival Hearts - Kayla Diamond
Yam Yam - No Vacation
Motivation - Normani
Wake Me Up - Avicii
PROMPT #04: A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE YOU'D RATHER FORGET
Alligator Alley - Michael Daugherty
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
Sincerely, Me - Mike Faist
Cheerleader - OMI
Viva La Vida - Coldplay
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
Over You - Ingrid Michaelson
PROMPT #05: A SONG THAT NEEDS TO BE PLAYED LOUD
Shine A Little Light - The Black Keys
Dynamite - BTS
Prelude in E-flat minor - Dmitri Shostakovich
Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
Salute - Little Mix
Smother - Daughter
Ship To Wreck - Florence + The Machine
I Am The Best - 2NE1
Baba O'Riley - The Who
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
King - Years & Years
I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) - Whitney Houston
I'm Coming Out - Diana Ross
PROMPT #06: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO DANCE
Rain - MIKA
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) - Fall Out Boy
Jump in the Line - Harry Belafonte
We Are the Tide - Blind Pilot
I'm A Believer - Radio Edit - Smash Mouth
PROMPT #07: A SONG TO DRIVE TO
So Much More Than This - Grace VanderWaal
Open Road - Lost & Found Music Studios
Vasoline - Stone Temple Pilots
Walk in the Night - Kaori Kobayashi*
Fáinleog - Live - The Gloaming
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
Kiss - Prince
Olalla - Blanco White
Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood
PROMPT #08: A SONG ABOUT DRUGS OR ALCOHOL
Whiskey and Morphine - Alexander Jean
Meds - Placebo
High - Sir Sly
June - Florence + The Machine
Here's to Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne
Void - The Neighbourhood
Clouds - BøRNS
PROMPT #09: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Love Wins - Carrie Underwood
Shukumei - Official HIGE DANdism
Boy With Luv (feat. Halsey) - BTS
The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script
Love Come Down - Kalafina
Here Comes The Sun - Remastered 2009 - The Beatles
You Are the Best Thing - Ray LaMontagne
Pokemon Theme Song - The Breaking Winds Bassoon Quartet
PROMPT #10: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU SAD
Someday - From "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"/Soundtrack Version - All-4-One
How We Love - Ingrid Michaelson
Everything You Ever - Neil Patrick Harris
Bluebird - Sara Bareilles
The Christmas Shoes - Newsong
Amen - Amber Run
Empty - Ray LaMontagne
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
The Beach - The Neighbourhood
PROMPT #11: A SONG YOU NEVER GET TIRED OF
Kimi Ga Hikari Ni Kaeteiku - Kalafina
Memories - Maroon 5
No Choir - Florence + The Machine
Should I Stay or Should I Go - Remastered - The Clash
Love On Top - Beyonce
Keep Your Head Up - Ben Howard
PROMPT #12: A SONG FROM YOUR PRETEEN YEARS
Fight Song - Rachel Platten
Samson - Regina Spektor
One More Sad Song - The All-American Rejects
No One - Alicia Keys
Poison Prince - Amy Macdonald
Love Story - Taylor Swift
7 Things - Single Version - Miley Cyrus
Rude - MAGIC!
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
PROMPT #13: A SONG YOU LIKE FROM 70s
Lean on Me - Bill Withers
Cat's in the Cradle - Harry Chapin
More Than a Feeling - Boston
Killing Me Softly - Frank Sinatra*
PROMPT #14: A SONG YOU'D LOVE TO BE PLAYED AT YOUR WEDDING
How Sweet It Is - Michael Buble
This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole
I'm A Believer - Radio Edit - Smash Mouth
Hold You in My Arms - Ray LaMontagne
Never Stop (Wedding Version) - SafetySuit
PROMPT #15: A SONG YOU LIKE THAT'S A COVER BY ANOTHER ARTIST
Skinny Love - Birdy
That's the Way It Is - Cassidy Janson
Angel - Darren Hayes
Titanium - Madilyn Bailey
There Must Be An Angel - ORIGA*
Mr. Tambourine Man - The Helio Sequence
Rude - Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox
Bad Guy - The Interrupters
PROMPT #16: A SONG THAT'S A CLASSIC FAVORITE
Africa - TOTO
Beautifully - Jay Brannan
Creep - Radiohead
Cupid - Sam Cooke
Your Favorite Thing - Sugar
Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
PROMPT #17: A SONG YOU'D SING A DUET WITH SOMEONE ON KARAOKE
For Good - From "Wicked" Original Broadway Cast Recording/2003 - Kristin Chenoweth
Take Me or Leave Me - Idina Menzel
Something To Believe In - Jeremy Jordan
Dancing with the Devil - Wolf Gang
Holding Out for a Hero - From "Footloose" Soundtrack - Bonnie Tyler
PROMPT #18: A SONG FROM THE YEAR YOU WERE BORN
A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me) - Train
Waterfalls - TLC
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) - Green Day
Wannabe - Spice Girls
PROMPT #19: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT LIFE
Memories - Maroon 5
Men Of Snow - Ingrid Michaelson
The River - Kyla La Grange
Saturn - Sleeping At Last
Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
The Fear - Ben Howard
Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine
The Good Part - AJR
Build It Up - Ingrid Michaelson
PROMPT #20: A SONG THAT HAS MANY MEANINGS TO YOU
Freckles - Natasha Bedingfield
Happy Home - Lukas Graham
Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik
The Road - Hurts
Lost in My Mind - The Head and the Heart
Love Like You (feat. Rebecca Sugar) - End Credits - Steven Universe
PROMPT #21: A SONG YOU LIKE WITH A PERSON'S NAME IN THE TITLE
Esmeralda - The Hunchback of Notre Dame Company
West Side Story: Act I: Maria - Leonard Bernstein
Nina Cried Power (feat. Mavis Staples) - Hozier
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Roxie - Renae Zellweger
Grace - Florence + The Machine
PROMPT #22: A SONG THAT MOVES YOU FORWARD
Sukiyaki - Kyu Sakamoto
Fuckin' Perfect - Melanie La Barrie
Who's Got a Match? - Biffy Clyro
Into The Fire - Thirteen Senses
Bang The Doldrums - Fall Out Boy
I Was Here - Beyonce
PROMPT #23: A SONG YOU THINK EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO
Neon Gravestones - Twenty One Pilots
Danzon No.2 - Arturo Márquez
Most Girls - Hailee Steinfeld
(Finally) A Convenient Truth - Get Well Soon
Stand by Me - Otis Redding
PROMPT #24: A SONG BY A BAND YOU WISH WERE STILL TOGETHER
Such Great Heights - Remastered - The Postal Service
To the Beginning - Kalafina
Here Comes a Regular - 2008 Remaster - The Replacements
Night Rather Than Day - EXID
Wonderwall - Remastered - Oasis
PROMPT #25: A SONG YOU LIKE BY AN ARTIST NO LONGER LIVING
Waiting for the End - Linkin Park
All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
Human Nature - Michael Jackson
The Longest Time - Billy Joel
Love, You Didn't Do Right by Me - Rosemary Clooney
Before Our Spring - JONGHYUN
PROMPT #26: A SONG THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO FALL IN LOVE
girls - girl in red
Conversations in the Dark - John Legend
Just like Heaven - The Cure
On The Street Where You Live - Frederick Loewe
Still into You - Paramore
PROMPT #27: A SONG THAT BREAKS YOUR HEART
Five Variants of "Dives and Lazarus" - Ralph Vaughan Williams
Black Woman - Danielle Brooks
Eyes Nose Lips (feat. Taeyang) - Epik High
Empty - Ray LaMontagne
Just a Dream - Carrie Underwood
Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
Requiem - Laura Dreyfuss
PROMPT #28: A SONG BY AN ARTIST WHOSE VOICE YOU LOVE
Hurt - Christina Aguilera
I'M OKAY - SAAY
So Much More Than This - Grace VanderWaal
Pretty Hurts - Beyonce
Just like Heaven - The Cure
i'm lonely - Luz
Skylark - Aretha Franklin
Never Let Me Go - Florence + The Machine
Ship To Wreck - Florence + The Machine
PROMPT #29: A SONG YOU REMEMBER FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD
Going Under - Evanescence
Muddy Hymnal - Iron & Wine
Rush - Aly & AJ
Smooth (feat. Rob Thomas) - Santana
Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men
She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds of Summer
PROMPT #30: A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOURSELF
Never Let Me Go - Florence + The Machine
Vienna - Billy Joel
The Pros and Cons of Breathing - Fall Out Boy
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
Car Radio - Twenty One Pilots
Sweet Nothing (feat. Florence Welch) - Calvin Harris
Lonely Dance - Set It Off
*Could not be found on Spotify
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Seven Devils
Part Five of the All’s Not Fair in Love and War Series
Characters: Dean Winchester, Fem! Reader, Sam Winchester, Charlie, John Winchester, Fem! Reader, Rowena, Crowley
Wordcount: 2,317
A/N- You’ve waited long enough. enjoy, luvs!
Summary: Y/N finally reveals herself, her mission, but everything could be put in jeopardy when the unexpected forces her to make a choice.
Warnings- Implied sexual assault, very briefly mentioned. Death by gallows.
“Y/N. Y/N MacLeod.” The silence that followed the words was deafening, Crowley staring agape. “You’re bloody jesting.” He denied instantly. You smirked, shaking your head. “No. You came to my home, to Innisfree, and you slaughtered almost the entire royal family. All except one, the youngest princess, who disguised herself as a peasant and spent many years serving the man that destroyed her life. She was beautiful, and caught your eye. You stole her away to your chambers, and then forgot about her. Then I was born. My mother died in childbirth, but I carry her legacy, and her title.” You said darkly. “Impossible!” Crowley snapped. “Oh, but it is the truth, Fergus, and now, I will be the one to burn your kingdom to ash.” You smiled, a hunger for revenge alight in your eyes. “I should kill you here and now, and be done with it,” you mused, stepping closer with an assessing gaze, “but that would be merciful. No, you’ll live, and when I reclaim my throne and wash my hands in the blood of your subjects and soldiers, you will watch, watch as your own daughter dismantles all that you hold dear.” Crowley paled considerably, scowling and struggling in his bonds. “So, for now, I leave you to your cell. I am truly so glad we were able to talk, father.” You spat. You turned on your heel, ignoring Crowley’s enraged threats and the insults he hurled at you.
You were ready, already stealing away to a hidden exit in the building, prepared to make your escape, when a loud commotion made you pause. The king’s guard were all rushing in one direction, and echoing through the halls was the sound of metal clashing on metal, the air suddenly charged with tension. Crowley’s people had come to free him, and they would cut through every living soul for fun. “Sam, you must go, and take Jessica!” An all-too familiar voice shouted, your heart racing. Dean. Of course, he had to be the hero every time. You had a mission, a vital task that your entire kingdom depended on you for. If you turned around, you knew well that you would never be able to leave. But if you left, knowing the odds were so stacked against Dean, you didn’t think you could forgive yourself. The shouts and sound of battle grew louder and louder, and for a moment, everything became clear, and you knew what you had to do.
“Stop! Touch him and I swear I shall kill you!” You snarled viciously, a sword you’d stolen from the body of a dead soldier in your hand. The man that had been holding a knife to Dean’s throat hesitated as he saw the death promise blazing in your eyes, the unrestrained fury and hatred burning there. “Why should I take such an order from you?” The man spat. “For one, because I will not hesitate to slay you where you stand, and you would be dead before your wretched companions could so much as move,” you started, eyes narrowed, “and for another, because I have command of you and your legions by birthright.” No one moved, Dean’s shocked green eyes snapping to you. “What?” “By your law and custom, you are bound to the ruling of the MacLeod bloodline, and thus, to me. I am Y/N MacLeod, Queen of Innisfree, The Morrigan, The Assassin, and Queen of you, especially since Crowley is otherwise indisposed.” You said. You had played the only card you had left, but the cost weighed heavily, and you met Dean’s eyes finding nothing but betrayal in them. The demon slowly removed the knife, the others exchanging glances, but following the example, especially as your sword remained poised to strike. They knelt, and your expression remained hard, swallowing the guilt down. “Return to your own stronghold, and if a single one of you is found within five kilometres of this land, I shall make an exceptionally gruesome example of you of what happens when I am disobeyed.” You ordered. When no one moved, you stepped closer, sword pressed against the first demon’s chest. “I don’t believe I hesitated.” You growled. They scrambled to leave, not daring to challenge you, knowing well your reputation.
“Y/N, please tell me you lied.” Dean begged, your eyes closing. “I am so sorry, Dean. I never- I never wanted for this to happen, I-” He shook his head, backing away from you. “This entire time, everything was a lie, all of it part of your plan. I trusted you!” Dean shouted accusingly. “I hope you can understand in time that I did what I had to. I have a kingdom to protect, Dean. This burden was mine, and I had to carry it. Forgive me. I have to go.” You said, voice wobbling with tears building in your eyes. “I understand. But I must protect my kingdom, too, Y/N.” Dean said, your brows furrowing in confusion. “I wish it did not have to be this way.” He sighed heavily. “Dean, I do not understand-” and then you felt it. The presence of someone behind you. John Winchester and his personal guard. You didn’t have the time to run before you were knocked unconscious.
You woke in a place that was familiar, immediate terror stealing away the air from your lungs. Stone walls, darkness, and absolute silence. The tomb-like prison you had been incarcerated in before. “No, no, no, no...” You gasped, scrambling to your feet. Through the bars, you saw Dean staring at you. “Dean, please, don’t do this.” You pleaded, thoughts spiraling further into despair. “You betrayed me. You betrayed my people.” “I saved your life!” “And how long would it be before your army came here to lay siege to my palace, Y/N?!” Dean shot back, marching up to the cell. “I would never have hurt you, Dean.” You said, shocked. “How can I believe you? How can I believe a single word you say, when everything, everything you have ever said to me, has been a lie!” He roared, slamming a fist against the wall and immediately regretting it. You flinched at the anger and anguish in his voice. “I told you I was here for my people, Dean! I have been more honest with you than I have been with anyone else in my entire life!” You argued desperately. “I would have helped you, if you had told me. I could have been there for you. Instead you kept it a secret, and I don’t know how many other secrets you have.” Dean swallowed. “The worst part of it is you made me believe you cared for me. Well, if that was your intention, congratulations, Y/N, you made me care for you, too.” He said bitterly, your eyes going wide. “I do care for you. No matter how I cherish you, I cannot let myself stray from my mission. I wanted to, so many times.” You admitted in a whisper. “Please, don’t leave me here. If you truly care for me, don’t leave me here-” “Don’t! Do not attempt to manipulate me, not any longer.” Dean said lowly. “You are to be tried, and sentenced come dawn.” “And if I am sentenced to death?” You asked boldly. “Then I will not be mourning.” He replied. You moved fast, snatching his sword from his side, and held it, but the blade was against your own throat. “Then go ahead, Dean. I would rather die than be trapped here, so if you truly would not mourn, kill me now.” You said, staring into his eyes defiantly, his hand on the hilt of the sword. He shook his head, sheathing the weapon and backing away. “You will be tried for your crimes as is just.” He said. “Crowley is my enemy as well as yours! I can stop him, I can trap he and his men forever! Why will you not help me?” You demanded. “I am to be King one day, Y/N, and my father has told me there are many difficult choices to make. I am commanding my troops and we will take Innisfree under Lebanon’s name, as it is clearly a hostile kingdom and dangerous.” Dean said, not meeting your eyes. You couldn’t breathe. “No, you can’t! My people are innocent, Dean, please! Don’t do this!” You begged, now near sobbing. “I have to. You forced my hand, and with Crowley freed, there is no other way.” He said, turning away with his back to you. “I am not the one who is the traitor, Dean. I was wrong about you. You are exactly like your father.” You choked out, sinking to your knees. He swallowed hard, glad you couldn’t see the agony on his face. He walked out, and you collapsed into your grief.
The King and his council, as well as both princes, sat in a line at the raised podium as you were led to the middle of the floor, manacled and clad in irons and chains with multiple armed guards flanking you. The people loudly shouted insults and threats at you, but you remained stoic, the grey light of dawn matching your somber mood. Dean looked everywhere but at you, and as John stood to begin the proceedings of the trial, you kept your gaze steady on him.
�� “The jury has come to a unanimous decision. The accused, Y/N MacLeod, is found guilty of treason, murder, espionage, theft, and being part of a dangerous rebellion. The accused is sentenced to...” John paused for dramatic effect, the audience hushed. “Death by the gallows.” John declared. You lifted your chin, as regal as any Queen, the audience cheering. Dean finally met your eyes, looking conflicted. You were led immediately to the gallows, a hooded man already waiting to pull the lever that would seal your fate.
“As is tradition, you are permitted last words.” John said. “My death will not be in vain! No matter what you accuse me of, I die knowing I fought with honour against tyrants like you for the freedom of my people!” You said proudly. You met Dean’s eyes, and couldn’t find it in you to hate him. “And no matter the outcome, I would make the same choices all over again.” You said, hoping Dean understood what you meant. The pain in the end was worth the beauty of falling in love for a moment. You turned to John with a satisfied smirk. “I shall see you in Hell.” You promised. He turned red in fury, and you closed your eyes as he turned to the executioner. “Do it-” “Wait!”
Your eyes snapped open, staring at Dean in confusion. He’d stood from his seat, John and Sam gaping at him while the public watched on. The obedient son, heir to the throne, opposing his father’s orders. And for the thief and assassin condemned to hanging. Dean took several quick and long strides to the gallows, meeting your eyes ashamedly.
“Wait.” Dean repeated, fists clenched and jaw tight. “She is not the enemy, father, at least not as of now.” “Son, I would advise you to return to your seat-” John gritted his teeth but Dean wasn’t finished pleading his case. “No, father, listen to me. She is the enemy of Crowley, and thus our ally. Her alliance with Crowley’s forces is purely to overthrow the occupants of Innisfree. She is a powerful person to have on our side in this war, father.” Dean said, tone steady but hard and uncompromising. “You can’t mean to say you would side with her.” John said incredulously. “That is precisely what I mean.” Dean didn’t wait for his father’s permission, drawing his sword and cutting through the rope around your neck, making you cough at the sudden intake of air. He met his father’s eyes challengingly as he offered you his hand, John’s gaze flickering between you both in shock. “My son,” John began loudly, “has decided to take full responsibility for the crimes and charges against this murderer. He has sworn that she will be our ally, until the war against Fergus MacLeod ends, or she is met with an untimely death.” John said, cutting a glare your way. “Furthermore, should either of them break the terms, both shall be permanently exiled from these lands on pain of death.” John decreed. Dean’s grip tightened, but he showed no other outward signs of the shock he must’ve felt, while Sam was standing, ready to argue for his brother’s sake. “Is that understood?” John asked. “Perfectly, father. If you would excuse us. The guards are not necessary.” Dean said, bowing mockingly, and leading you away.
“What are you thinking?!” You demanded as Dean entered his room. “A thank you would suffice, Y/N.” He responded. “For what?! Risking both of our lives?! Do you realize your title is now at risk of being forfeit?” “I won’t have a title if Crowley takes over my kingdom. I was selfish, and I acted on impulse out of hurt, and for that, I truly apologize. I should never have let you be locked away. I am still hurt, and I don’t know if I can trust you,” he frowned, meeting your eyes, “but I cannot pretend what I feel for you has vanished.” “Dean, think about this. I still have a mission I must fulfill.” You said quietly. “I know. None of it matters, not right now. All I need to know is that you and I are on the same side. The rest of it can come later.” He said, eyes warm as he regarded you. “Are we? On the same side?” Dean asked. “Of course we are.” You said, smiling slightly. “Good. Now, we rest, and then we devise a plan.” “You truly think this can work?” “I don’t know. But I would like to hope so.” He said with a smile. You considered him for a long moment, nodding slowly. You believed him.
TAGS-
Forever Tags-
@justagirlinafandomworld
Dean Babes-
@herfalsegod
All’s Not Fair in Love and War Series Tags-
@perpetualabsurdity
Other-
@spnfanficpond
#all's not fair in love and war#dean x reader#dean winchester#supernatural#x reader#fanfiction#guppy#pond#spnfanficpond
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Time Fluff: Chapter 1
A/N: Hi lovelies! So this is my first ever post and I’m super nervous about posting this so please be nice! Constructive criticism is appreciated and I hope that you guys enjoy this, I don’t know how many parts there is going to be in this but I know that it’ll be more than three. I know that this part is a little slow but please bare with me! Thanks for reading and I luv ya <3
Summary: Bucky x reader. Bucky and reader have liked each other for a long time but they’re both in denial of the other’s feelings. What will happen when Tony’s new invention accidentally brings 40sBucky and 40sSteve to the present? If this were to go in the actual MCU timeline it would probably be sometime before infinity war and before they actually figured out time travel.
Word Count: 1197
Warnings: I don’t think any??? Is mischievous Wanda and Natasha a warning?
Other Chapters: Time Fluff Masterlist
“What did you make a bet on?” I ask while scrunching my nose in disgust as Wanda continues to pour in some very questionable looking juice. “We made a bet with Steve and Sam” Wanda replied casually. Natasha glanced up and smirked at me. I shook my head and chuckled in response. “What exactly is it that you’re doing?” I ask curiously as I walk into the kitchen of the compound. The first thing that I see is my best friends Wanda and Natasha grabbing random food items, attempting to stuff them in a blender.
“They said that Bucky would finally make a move on you last night and kiss you while you two were sitting together during the movie, but we knew that he’s way to scared to do that” Natasha said, smirking wider now.
“Guys!” I exclaim without realizing it. “You do realize that he doesn’t like me like that don’t you?” I ask at a more reasonable volume.
“Oh honey, you’re just so blind, aren’t you? How can you not see the way that he looks at you? It’s painfully obvious how much the two of you like each other” Wanda explained to me as though I were a five-year-old.
I sigh and shake my head, trying to ignore what she just said. “Where are Steve and Sam? I think I need to have a few words with them” I’m already thinking of how many different ways that I could threaten/actually harm them if they say a word to Bucky about my feelings towards him.
“They’re in the living room. Promise you won’t tell them what we’re doing in here? I want them to be surprised” Wanda answers while smiling brightly and pointing to the doorway.
“I promise” I say while laughing a little “Thanks” I stroll into the living room where sure enough I see the two soldiers looking nervous on the couch. As soon as I walk in their heads snap up in my direction looking fearful.
“Oh, Y/N. It’s just you. I thought that Nat and Wanda were done with whatever they’re doing” Steve says with a deep breath as Sam falls back on the couch looking relieved.
“Yeah good luck with when they really are ready, while I was in there they looked very pleased with themselves” I say and they instantly look slightly more alert. “But I came in here to ask the two of you about that bet that you made. What the hell makes you think that Bucky has feelings for me?? And please tell me that you didn’t tell him anything about your little bet?” I worriedly ask, looking back and forth between the two.
“I promise that we didn’t tell Barnes anything about this whole thing, but honestly even if we did I think that he’d be really happy to know that you feel the same way about him. It’s ridiculously obvious from the way that he looks at you and talks to you” Sam tells me with his brow furrowed slightly.
“Y/N I promise that he really, really likes you. He tells me that he’s planning on asking you out at least once a month but he always gets cold feet at the last minute and changes his mind” Steve tells me patiently.
“It’s just hard for me to believe that-“ I start but am but off by someone entering the room and interrupting me.
“Hard for you to believe what?” Asks the most perfect person on the entire planet, James Buchanan Barnes.
I stutter and try to change the subject as quickly as possible “That Steve and Sam would make a bet with Nat and Wanda that they obviously would win. It’s dangerous to do something like that” I say jokingly.
“Oh really? And what did you bet on?” Bucky asks with a brow quirked up.
“We thought that something was going to happen during the movie last night, but it didn’t” Steve says coolly and I give him a very grateful glance for playing along.
“That was a bad idea, you guys suck at predicting movies. Ain’t that right doll?” Bucky says and throws a playful look at me which I can’t help but smile back at.
Suddenly a voice comes into the room “Miss Y/L/N? Mr. Stark is requesting you in his lab. He says that he needs assistance with a rather large project”
“Did he specify what it’s about or why I need to help him instead of Banner?” I ask while looking at the ceiling.
A different voice is now over the intercom “Y/N, come help me. Banner is sleeping and that is a very rare occurrence so I feel like it would be dangerous for him and myself if I were to wake him up” Tony said seemingly out of nowhere.
“Okay, okay. I get it. I’m on my way now” I reply while still looking at the ceiling “I guess that’s my cue to leave, see you guys. And let me know before Nat and Wanda give you two what they made” I say to the boys before walking out of the room and head to the lab.
~ ~ ~
“Okay Tony come on, you really think that you are going to be able to discover time travel by yourself?” I roll my eyes after I’m done reading over the notes that Tony has handed me.
The man looks shocked that I don’t immediately agree with his ideas “But what if it could be! And I wouldn’t be by myself, I’ve got Banner, and you. Think about it Y/N. How incredible would it be if we could bring people from the past?” I hesitate for a moment before shaking my head.
“There’s just too much that could possibly go wrong. Why are you suddenly so hell-bent on making this work?” I ask even though I already know half the answer. Once Tony Stark gets his mind set on something he will see it through until it kills him.
“I-I just really want to make this work okay? It’s a concept that goes back for centuries and someone should be the one to figure it out” I can hear in his voice that he’s hiding his real motives for this.
“Tony, is this about wanting to get your parents back?” I ask carefully, not wanting him to set him off or make him upset with me. “Because if it is I think that you should give this a rest. I don’t think that it’s a good idea to be messing around with this, especially if you’re trying to change something from the past”
“That’s the thing! I’ve been talking to Strange about this for a while and after all of his research he said that if we did figure it out nothing would change in the past. All that we would do is create an alternate timeline that would have the changed events, but our real past wouldn’t be altered at all” Tony says quickly and excitedly. Finally, I sigh and realize that he may have a point and there is no more use arguing with him.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll try to help you figure this out”
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#avengers#time travel#marvel#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#steve rogers#sam wilson#tony stark#bruce banner
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Ohohoho! Can we do A B D I K L T and X for the ask game? I wanna hear what ya have to say luv!
of course ❤️❤️❤️
A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.
stephen strange/karl mordo/wong. they're a god tier ot3 because wong singlehandedly balances out the chaos caused by the disaster duo stephen and karl. plus, i love benedict wong so so so much.
rhodey and carol. they fit the rivals to friends to lovers trope so well. ❤️
rhodey and sam because i love love love the idea of sam, who's about a decade younger, being so completely and utterly in love with his hero and mentor, and rhodey, as sam's commanding officer (because he's leading the new avengers), struggling with wanting to maintain professionalism but also wanting to give into sam.
B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.
bucky and rhodey after seeing @buckyrhodey talk about it. i think their dynamic would be amazing because i feel like bucky would be on par with rhodey, in terms of maturity and lived experiences. and rhodey would know a thing or two from spending time with sam to recognise trauma and help bucky through it.
D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.
ir*nstrange. i loved it in the comics because beard bros ftw. but i hate what the mcu fandom did — they don't actually care about stephen, he's basically the steve replacement/self insert for them to hate on steve. it's gross. (not to mention the fact they don't care about stephen's relationships with mordo and wong)
I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?
honestly? yeah. and i say this as a tony stan, i am tired of the tony fandom because it's 2020 and people are still cribbing about civil war and rehashing the same, tired arguments. it's exhausting.
K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?
none of them lol. because hollywood can't write good development arcs for my faves. which is why my policy is basically to cherry pick the bits of canon i like and then throw the rest out as garbage and replace it with my headcanons. that's my fave way to enjoy fandom these days.
L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)
bucky barnes deserves way more sympathy than he gets. he isn't steve's yes man or redemption arc, he isn't a monster, he was tortured and brainwashed into killing people. he needs someone to help him heal, not drag him back to a past he doesn't even remember. he needs sam, rhodey and sharon carter.
okay, new fic idea: the four of them take a road trip where rhodey and bucky fall in love, sam tries to chase down an urban legend and sharon is trying to keep him alive.
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?
yeah. before the time heist, tony spent a lot of time recording messages for pepper, rhodey and morgan. for important occasions where he knew there was a chance he wouldn't be present. like:
pepper's 50th, 60th birthdays, on their anniversary milestones etc.
rhodey's 60th birthday, his promotion as the director of shield (tony somehow knew)
morgan's 13th, 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays, her graduations, her wedding, her first job
it was his way of being in their lives when he physically couldn't be present. he was, after all, a futurist. great now i made myself sad lmaoo
X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.
i answered it here!
Ask me about fandom!
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Goodbye to the Decade: Aesthetic Series
3) Songs
After the series and the books, in this week here are 9 fragments of songs that I liked this decade, since I know that there aren’t so many spanish speakers between you, here is a translation of what the central song says “If there is nothing left to talk about, if there is nothing left to shut up, how can it hurt so much?” is Diciembre by La Oreja De Van Gogh
Like the previous posts in the series a keep reading it’s here, because warning here is the full list of all the songs that I have from this decade, and when I say all of them I mean all of them.No Particular order in them. Congratulations if you make till the end, if not, well I can’t blame you xD
Mirrors by Justin Timberlake 2013
Radioactive by Imagine Dragons 2012
Demons by Imagine Dragons 2012
Counting Stars by OneRepublic 2013
Really Really by Winner 2017
Russian Roulette by Red Velvet 2016
Troublemaker by Troublemaker 2011
Mean by Taylor Swift 2010
Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift 2010
We Are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift 2012
I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift 2012
All Too Well by Taylor Swift 2012
Shake It Off by Taylor Swift 2014
Blank Space by Taylor Swift 2014
Bad Blood by Taylor Swift 2014
Look What You Make Me Do by Taylor Swift 2017
You Need To Calm Down by Taylor Swift 2019
Paper Rings by Taylor Swift 2019
The Man by Taylor Swift 2019
Closer by The Chainsmokers & Halsey 2016
Sad Girls by Melo Moreno 2018
Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish 2016
Bellyache by Billie Eilish 2017
Hostage by Billie Eilish 2017
My Boy by Billie Eilish 2017
Bad Guy by Billie Eilish 2019
You Should See Me In A Crown by Billie Eilish 2019
My Strange Addiction by Billie Eilish 2019
Ilomilo by Billie Eilish 2019
Pump Up Kicks by Foster The People 2010
Burn by Ellie Goulding 2013
Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars 2010
Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars 2010
The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars 2010
Grenade by Bruno Mars 2011
Locked Out Of Heaven by Bruno Mars 2012
When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars 2012
Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson 2011
Stitches by Shawn Mendes 215
Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes 2016
Señorita by Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello 2019
Born This Way by Lady Gaga 2011
Blow Me (One Last Kiss) by P!nk 2012
Elastic Heart by Sia 2013
Cheap Thrills by Sia & Sean Paul 2016
Up In The Air by 30 Seconds To Mars 2013
Gangnam Style by PSY 2012
Daddy by PSY 2015
Voodoo Doll by VIXX 2013
When Can I See You Again by Owl City 2012
Uza by AKB48 2012
Love Me Harder by Ariana Grande 2014
Into You by Ariana Grande 2015
Side To Side by Ariana Grande 2016
Thank U, Next by Ariana Grande 2018
Love The Way You Lie by Eminem & Rihanna 2010
The Monster by Eminem & Rihanna 2013
Hotter Than Hell by Dua Lipa 2016
Only Girl (In The World) by Rihanna 2010
Rude Boy by Rihanna 2010
All Of Me by John Legend 2013
No Need To Talk by C-Luv 2014
Papercut by Zedd & Troye Sivan 2015
Misery by Maroon 5 2010
Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 & Christina Aguilera 2011
Payphone by Maroon 5 2012
One More Night by Maroon 5 2012
Lucky Strike by Maroon 5 2012
The Man Who Never Lied by Maroon 5 2012
Animals by Maroon 5 2014
Maps by Maroon 5 2014
Sugar by Maroon 5 2015
Lips On You by Maroon 5 2017
Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots 2015
Ride by Twenty One Pilots 2015
Heathens by Twenty One Pilots 2016
Chlorine by Twenty One Pilots 2018
Teenage Dream by Katy Perry 2010
Firework by Katy Perry 2010
Corazón En La Maleta by Luis Fonsi 2014
Lego House by Ed Sheeran 2011
Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran 2014
Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran 2017
I Want You To Know by Zedd & Selena Gomez 2015
Burning In The Skies by Linkin Park 2010
Waiting For The End by Linkin Park 2010
Iridescent by Linkin Park 2010
The Catalyst by Linkin Park 2010
Lost In The Echo by Linkin Park 2012
In My Remains by Linkin Park 2012
Burn It Down by Linkin Park 2012
Lies Greed Misery by Linkin Park 2012
I’ll Be Gone by Linkin Park 2012
Castle Of Glass by Linkin Park 2012
Victimized by Linkin Park 2012
Skin To Bone by Linkin Park 2012
Powerless by Linkin Park 2012
A Light That Never Comes by Steve Aoki & Linkin Park 2013
Guilty All The Same by Linkin Park 2014
War by Linkin Park 2014
Wastelands by by Linkin Park 2014
Until It’s Gone by Linkin Park 2014
Rebellion by Linkin Park 2014
Final Masquerade by Linkin Park 2014
Darker Than Blood by Steve Aoki & Linkin Park 2015
Nobody Can Save Me by Linkin Park 2017
Good Goodbye by Linkin Park & Pusha T & Stormzy 2017
Talking To Myself by Linkin Park 2017
Battle Symphony by Linkin Park 2017
Invisible by Linkin Park 2017
Heavy by Linkin Park & Kiiara 2017
Sorry For Now by Linkin Park 2017
Halfway Right by Linkin Park 2017
One More Light by Linkin Park 2017
Sharp Edges by Linkin Park 2017
50 Ways To Say Goodbye by Train 2012
60’s Cardin by Glen Check 2011
Paint It Gold by Glen Check 2013
I’ve Got This Feeling by Glen Check 2013
Ain’t My Fault by Zara Larsson 2016
Oh Nana by K.A.R.D 2016
Solo by Jay Park 2015
Mommae by Jay Park & Ugly Duck 2015
Me Like Yuh by Jay Park & Hoody 2016
All I Wanna Do by Jay Park & Hoody & Loco 2016
Teardrops by Emmelie De Forest 2013
Calm After The Storm by The Common Linnets 2014
Tonight Again by Guy Sebastian 2014
Golden Boy by Nadav Guedj 2015
Goodbye To Yesterday by Elina Born & Stig Rästa 2015
Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw 2015
Alter Ego by Minus One 2016
Occidentalis Karma by Francesco Gabbani 2017
Fuego by Eleni Foureira 2018
Bboom Bboom by Momoland 2018
Cool For The Summer by Demi Lovato 2015
Solo by Clean Bandit & Demi Lovato 2018
Busted by Electroboyz & C-Luv 2013
MaBoy 3 by Electroboyz & Nana 2013
Lo Malo by Aitana & Ana Guerra 2018
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) by Fall Out Boy 2013)
Centuries by Fall Out Boy 2014
Immortals by Fall Out Boy 2014
Closer by Oh My Girl 2015
Control by Halsey 2015
Graveyard by Halsey 2016
Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Backstreet Boys 2018
Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man 2017
Venus by Hello Venus 2012
Do You Want Some Tea by Hello Venus 2013
I’m Ill by Hello Venus 2015
Wiggle Wiggle by Hello Venus 2015
La La La by Naughty Boy & Sam Smith 2013
Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay & Beyonce 2015
Love Myself by Hailee Steinfeld 2015
Female Robbery by The Neighbourhood 2012
Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood 2013
Cry Baby by The Neighbourhood 2015
Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood 2015
Go Crazy! by 2PM 2014
Playboy by EXO 2015
Monster by EXO 2016
One Woman Army by Porcelain Black 2014
Need You Now by Lady Antebellum 2010
Just A Kiss Goodnight by Lady Antebellum 2011
Little Apple by Chopstick Brothers 2014
Handclap by Fitz And The Tantrums 2016
Hann by (G)I-DLE 2018
Youngblood by 5 Seconds Of Summer 2018
Easier by 5 Seconds Of Summer 2019
Teeth by 5 Seconds Of Summer 2019
Pretty Woman by Hebe Tien 2015
Fiction by Highlight 2011
Good Luck by Highlight 2014
Impermeable by Ha*Ash 2011
Lo Aprendí De Ti by Ha*Ash 2014
Peligro by Reik 2011
Que Ganó Olvidándote by Reik 2016
Spanglish by Reik 2016
Ya Me Enteré by Reik 2016
Barbie De Extrarradio by Melendi 2010
Canción De Amor Caducada by Melendi 2010
Lágrimas Desordenadas by Melendi 2012
Cheque Al Portamor by Melendi 2012
Tocado y Hundido by Melendi 2014
Otro Lío De Melendi by Melendi 2014
La Casa No Es Igual by Melendi 2016
Sor María by Maná 2011
Mayday by Oran-G 2011
Mi Novia Se Me Está Poniendo Vieja by Ricardo Arjona 2011
Lo Poco Que Tengo by Ricardo Arjona 2014
La Niña Que Llora En Tus Fiestas by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2011
Cometas Por El Cielo by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2011
El Primer Día Del Resto De Mi Vida by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2013
Estoy Contigo by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
Diciembre by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
Verano by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
Camino De Tú Corazón by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
Intocables by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
No Vales Más Que Yo by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
Cuando Menos Lo Merezca by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
Mi Pequeño Gran Valiente by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
Siempre by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016
Bang! by After School 2010
Love Love Love by After School 2010
Someone Is You by After School 2010
Let’s Step Up by After School 2011
Shampoo by After School 2011
Virgin by After School 2011
Play Ur Love by After School 2011
Dream by After School 2011
Are You Doing Ok? by After School 2011
Funky Man by After School 2011
Into The Night Sky by After School 2011
Hollywood by After School 2011
Wonderboy by After School 2011
Lady by After School 2011
Ready To Love by After School 2011
Love Letter by After School & Son Dambi & Minhyun & Baekho & Xiyeon 2011
Rambling Girls by After School 2012
Broken Heart by After School 2012
Just In Time by After School 2012
Gimme Love by After School 2012
Miss Futuristic by After School 2012
Tell Me by After School 2012
Rip Off by After School 2012
Flashback by After School 2012
Eyeline by After School 2012
Wristwatch by After School 2012
8 Hot Girl by After School 2013
First Love by After School 2013
Dressing Room by After School 2013
Time’s Up by After School 2013
Love Beat by After School 2013
Heaven by After School 2013
Crazy Driver by After School 2013
Shh by After School 2014
Rock It! by After School 2014
Week by After School 2014
Dress To Kill by After School 2014
Ms. Independent by After School 2014
Triangle by After School 2014
Yes No Yes by After School 2014
In The Moonlight by After School 2014
Spotlight by After School 2014
Lucky Girl by After School 2014
Shine by After School 2015
Magic Girl by Orange Caramel 2010
Aing~♥ by Orange Caramel 2010
One Love by Orange Caramel 2010
Bangkok City by Orange Caramel 2011
Shanghai Romance by Orange Caramel 2011
Close Your Eyes by Orange Caramel 2011
Funny Hunny by Orange Caramel 2011
Yashashii Akuma by Orange Caramel 2012
Bubble Bath by Orange Caramel 2012
Milkshake by Orange Caramel 2012
Lipstick by Orange Caramel 2012
Lamu No Love Song by Orange Caramel 2012
Dashing Through The Snow In High Heels by Orange Caramel & NU’EST 2012
Cookie, Cream & Mint by by Orange Caramel 2013
Tenshi No Wink by Orange Caramel 2013
Red Shoes by Orange Caramel 2013
Catallena by Orange Caramel 2014
So Sorry by Orange Caramel 2014
Cried Uncontrollably by Orange Caramel 2014
Abing Abing by Orange Caramel 2014
My Copycat by Orange Caramel 2014
The Gangnam Avenue by Orange Caramel 2014
Tonight by Orange Caramel 2014
Reminding Me by Shawn Hook & Vanessa Hudgens 2017
Lay With Me by The Phantoms & Vanessa Hudgens 2018
Y by MBLAQ 2010
One Better Day by MBLAQ 2010
Running & Running by MBLAQ 2010
Sad Memories by MBLAQ 2011
Stay by MBLAQ 2011
Cry by MBLAQ 2011
Wish You Hadn’t by MBLAQ 2011
Mona Lisa by MBLAQ 2011
I Don’t Know by MBLAQ 2011
Baby U! by MBLAQ 2011
Again by MBLAQ 2011
It’s War by MBLAQ 2012
Hello My Ex by MBLAQ 2012
Run by MBLAQ 2012
100% by MBLAQ 2012
Sexy Beat by MBLAQ 2013
Smoky Girl by MBLAQ 2013
R U OK? by MBLAQ 2013
Celebrate by MBLAQ 2013
Pretty Girl by MBLAQ 2013
Dress Up by MBLAQ 2013
No Love by MBLAQ 2013
Broken by MBLAQ 2014
Be A Man by MBLAQ 2014
Key by MBLAQ 2014
Because There Are Two by MBLAQ 2014
Mirror by MBLAQ 2015
Hey U by MBLAQ 2015
I Know U Want Me by MBLAQ 2015
Tea Party by Kerli 2010
Army Of Love by Kerli 2011
Zero Gravity by Kerli 2012
The Lucky Ones by Kerli 2012
Last Breath by Kerli 2012
Sugar by Kerli 2013
Savages by Kerli 2018
Legends by Kerli 2019
Oh! by Girl’s Generation 2010
Run Devil Run by Girl’s Generation 2010
Hoot by Girl’s Generation 2010
Mr. Taxi by Girl’s Generation 2011
Trick by Girl’s Generation 2011
Paparazzi by Girl’s Generation 2012
Flower Power by Girl’s Generation 2012
Animal by Girl’s Generation 2012
Mr. Mr. by Girl’s Generation 2014
Lucifer by SHINee 2010
Sherlock by SHINee 2011
Dazzling Girl by SHINee 2012
Dream Girl by SHINee 2013
View by SHINee 2015
Dark Star by Jaymes Young 2013
Two More Minutes by Jaymes Young 2013
Moondust by Jaymes Young 2013
Running On Fumes by Jaymes Young 2013
As Long As You Love Me by Jaymes Young 2013
Habits Of My Heart by Jaymes Young 2014
I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young 2014
What Should I Do by Jaymes Young 2014
Sugar Burn by Jaymes Young 2017
Black Magic by Jaymes Young 2017
Infinity by Jaymes Young 2017
Paradox by Jaymes Young 2019
Bonamana by Super Junior 2010
Boom Boom by Super Junior 2010
My Only Girl by Super Junior 2010
Shake It Up! by Super Junior 2010
My All Is In You by Super Junior 2010
Good Person by Super Junior 2010
No Other by Super Junior 2010
Perfection by Super Junior M 2011
Off My Mind by Super Junior M 2011
Mr. Simple by Super Junior 2011
Opera by Super Junior 2011
Feels Good by Super Junior 2011
A-CHA by Super Junior 2011
Sexy, Free & Single by Super Junior 2012
From U by Super Junior 2012
Butterfly by Super Junior 2012
Break Down by Super Junior M 2013
I Wanna Dance by Super Junior D&E 2013
Mamacita by Super Junior 2014
Evanesce by Super Junior 2014
Shirt by Super Junior 2014
This Is Love by Super Junior 2014
Can You Feel It? by Super Junior D&E 2015
Devil by Super Junior 2015
Magic by Super Junior 2015
Black Suit by Super Junior 2017
Love Song by Rain 2010
Hip Song by Rain 2010
Same by Rain & C-Luv 2010
Busan Girl by Rain 2011
30 Sexy by Rain 2013
La Song by Rain 2013
Marilyn Monroe by Rain 2013
Baby by Rain 2013
Superman by Rain 2013
Face by NU’EST 2012
Action by NU’EST 2012
Not Over You by NU’EST 2012
Hello by NU’EST 2013
Beautiful Solo by NU’EST 2013
Sleep Talking by NU’EST 2013
Good Bye Bye by NU’EST 2014
I’m Bad by NU’EST 2015
Overcome by NU’EST 2016
My Heaven by NU’EST 2016
In Fact by NU’EST 2016
R.L.T.L (Real Love True Love) by NU’EST 2016
Love Paint by NU’EST 2016
Look (A Starlight Night) by NU’EST 2016
Just One Day by NU’EST W 2017
Where You At by NU’EST W 2017
Paradise by NU’EST W 2017
Good Love by NU’EST W 2017
With by NU’EST W 2017
I’ve Been Happy Till Now by NU’EST W 2017
Dejavu by NU’EST W 2018
Signal by NU’EST W 2018
Polaris by NU’EST W 2018
YlenoL by NU’EST W 2018
Gravity&Moon by NU’EST W 2018
Shadow by NU’EST W 2018
Bet Bet by NU’EST 2019
Bass by NU’EST 2019
Different by NU’EST 2019
Universe by NU’EST 2019
Shining Diamond by Seventeen 2015
Adore U by Seventeen 2015
Jam Jam by Seventeen 2015
20 by Seventeen 2015
Fronting by Seventeen 2015
Mansae by Seventeen 2015
OMG by Seventeen 2015
Rock by Seventeen 2015
Pretty U by Seventeen 2016
Nice by Seventeen 2016
Healing by Seventeen 2016
Simple by Seventeen 2016
Boom Boom by Seventeen 2016
Highlight by Seventeen 2016
My I by Seventeen 2017
Clap by Seventeen 2017
Sweet Dream by MFBTY 2013
The Cure by MFBTY 2013
Angel by MFBTY 2014
Buckubucku by MFBTY & EE & Dino-J & RM 2015
Bang Diggy Bang Bang by MFBTY 2015
Fly Like An Eagle by MFBTY 2015
Forever Love by Min Kyung Hoon 2019
My Everything by Han Seung Hee 2019
Take Out My Heart by Jung Dong Ha 2019
Empty by JYJ 2010
Be My Girl by JYJ 2010
Get Out by JYJ 2011
Mission by JYJ 2011
Only One by JYJ 2013
Back Seat by JYJ 2014
Letting Go by JYJ 2014
Baboboy by JYJ 2014
Valentine by JYJ 2014
One Kiss by Jaejoong 2013
Mine by Jaejoong 2013
Kiss B by Jaejoong 2013
Just Another Girl by Jaejoong 2013
Good Morning Night by Jaejoong 2016
Drawer by Jaejoong 2016
Love You More by Jaejoong 2016
Love You To Death by Jaejoong 2016
Welcome To My Wild World by Jaejoong 2016
All That Glitters by Jaejoong 2016
Tarantallegra by Xiah & Flowsik 2012
Incredible by Xiah & Quincy 2013
OeO by Xiah 2015
Stylo by Gorillaz & Mos Def & Bobby Womack 2010
On Melancholy by Hill Gorillaz 2010
To Binge by Gorillaz & Yukimi Nagano 2010
Detroit by Gorillaz 2010
Doncamatic by Gorillaz & Daley 2010
DoYaThing by Gorillaz & Andre 3000 & James Murphy2012
Ascension by Gorillaz & Vince Staples 2017
Strobelite by Gorillaz & Peven Everett 2017
Staturnz Barz by Gorillaz & Popcaan 2017
Moments by Gorillaz & De La Soul 2017
Submission by Gorillaz & Danny Brown & Kelela 2017
Charger by Gorillaz & Grace Jones 2017
Andromeda by Gorillaz & D.R.A.M 2017
Busted And Blue by Gorillaz 2017
Let Me Out by Gorillaz & Mavis Staples & Pusha T 2017
She’s My Collar by Gorillaz & Kali Uchis 2017
We Got The Power by Gorillaz & Jehnny Beth & Noel Gallagher 2017
The Apprentice by Gorillaz & Rag’n’Bone Man & Zebra Katz & Ray BLK 2017
Out Of Body by Gorillaz & Kilo Kish & Zebra Katz & Imani Vonshà 2017
Ticker Tape by Gorillaz & Carly Simon & Kali Uchis 2017
Time In A Tree by Raleigh Ritchie 2018
Inevitable by Dulce Maria 2010
Luna by Dulce Maria 2010
Dicen by Dulce Maria 2011
Antes Que Ver El Sol by Dulce Maria 2014
Te Quedarás by Dulce Maria & Frankie J 2014
Cementerio De Los Corazones Rotos by Dulce Maria 2014
O Lo Haces Tú O Lo Hago Yo by Dulce Maria 2014
Un Minuto Sin Dolor by Dulce Maria 2017
Rompecorazones by Dulce Maria 2017
No Sé Llorar by Dulce Maria 2017
Catch Me by TVXQ 2012
Humanoids by TVXQ 2012
Something by TVXQ 2014
The Chance Of Love by TVXQ 2018
Something by Girl’s Day 2014
Bubble Pop by Hyuna 2011
Make It Happen by Namie Amuro & After School 2011
Hands On Me by Namie Amuro 2013
Neonlight Lipstick by Namie Amuro 2013
We Don’t Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth & Selena Gomez 2016
Attention by Charlie Puth 2017
How Long by Charlie Puth 2017
Done For Me by Charlie Puth & Kehlani 2018
The Way I Am by Charlie Puth 2018
LA Girls by Charlie Puth 2018
Slow It Down by Charlie Puth 2018
Empty Cups by Charlie Puth 2018
I Warned Myself by Charlie Puth 2019
Mother by Charlie Puth 2019
Cheating On You by Charlie Puth 2019
Candy by Robbie Williams 2012
We Are Bulletproof Pt.2 by BTS 2013
No More Dream by BTS 2013
N.O by BTS 2013
If I Ruled The World by BTS 2013
Coffee by BTS 2013
Attack On Bangtan by BTS 2013
Boy In Luv by BTS 2014
Just One Day by BTS 2014
Tomorrow by BTS 2014
Spine Breaker by BTS 2014
Jump by BTS 2014
Miss Right by BTS 2014
Danger by BTS 2014
War Of Hormone by BTS 2014
Let Me Know by BTS 2014
Cypher Pt. 3: Killer by BTS 2014
Blanket Kick by BTS 2014
2nd Grade by BTS 2014
Look Here by BTS 2014
I Need U by BTS 2015
Dope by BTS 2015
Boyz With Fun by BTS 2015
Converse High by BTS 2015
Run by BTS 2015
Butterfly by BTS 2015
Whalien 52 by BTS 2015
Ma City by BTS 2015
Baepsae by BTS 2015
House Of Cards by BTS 2015
Fire by BTS 2016
Save Me by BTS 2016
Young Forever by BTS 2016
Boy Meets Evil by BTS 2016
Blood, Sweat & Tears by BTS 2016
Begin by BTS 2016
Reflection by BTS 2016
MAMA by BTS 2016
Lost by BTS 2016
Cypher 4 by BTS 2016
Am I Wrong by BTS 2016
21st Century Girl by BTS 2016
Wings by BTS 2016
Spring Day by BTS 2017
Not Today by BTS 2017
You Never Walk Alone by BTS 2017
Serendipity by BTS 2017
DNA by BTS 2017
Best Of Me by BTS & The Chainsmokers 2017
Dimples by BTS 2017
Pied Piper by BTS 2017
MIC Drop by BTS 2017
Go Go by BTS 2017
Fake Love by BTS 2018
134340 by BTS 2018
Paradise by BTS 2018
Love Maze by BTS 2018
Airplane Pt.2 by BTS 2018
Anpanman by BTS 2018
So What by BTS 2018
Idol by BTS 2018
Persona by BTS 2019
Boy With Luv by BTS & Halsey 2019
Mikrokosmos by BTS 2019
Make It Right by BTS 2019
Home by BTS 2019
Dionysus by BTS 2019
Do You by RM 2015
So Far Away by Suga & Suran 2016
Daydream by J-Hope 2018
Comeback Again by Infinite 2010
Waste It On Me by Steve Aoki & BTS 2018
Be Mine by Infinite 2011
Paradise by Infinite 2011
The Chaser by Infinite 2012
Safe And Sound by Capital Cities 2013
Wake Me Up by Avicii 2013
Sparks by Hilary Duff 2015
Aquí Voy by Jesse & Joy 2011
¿Con Quién Se Queda El Perro? by Jesse & Joy 2012
Decidiste Dejarme by Camila 2014
Saturno by Pablo Alboran 2017
Jenny Of Oldstones by Florence + The Machine 2019
¿No Podíamos Ser Agua? by Maldita Nerea 2011
En El Mundo Genial De Las Cosas Que Dices by Maldita Nerea 2011
Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor 2014
NO by Meghan Trainor 2016
#Blow Me (One Last Kiss)#P!nk#Talking To The Moon#Bruno Mars#Melancholy Hill#Gorillaz#Elastic Heart#Sia#Diciembre#La Oreja De Vang Gogh#Look What You Make Me Do#Taylor Swift#Waiting For The End#Linkin Park#Moondust#Jaymes Young#Attention#Charlie Puth#Goodbye To The Decade#Aesthetic#Moodboard#Song Aesthetic
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