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isfjmel-phleg · 3 months

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The Secret Garden on 81st Street has lovely art and a lot of good intentions. But one reason I don't find myself revisiting this one for personal enjoyment is how it handles the story and characters. While the broad plot remains and the same roles are all filled (except for the notable absence of Mrs. Sowerby), the point of the narrative is now to impart Lessons on anxiety and grief, and to serve this centralization of an issue to address, the characterization is altered. This results in not merely a less effective adaptation but a less effective plot and characters.

To illustrate this, let's start by looking at how Frances Hodgson Burnett handles Mary and Colin's argument that leads to the tantrum scene in The Secret Garden (Chapters 16-17).

Mary has been spending a lot of time with Colin after meeting him. But when the rain that has kept her indoors finally ends, she spends the whole day out in the garden with Dickon. When she returns to the house, she gets into an argument with Colin, who is angry that she didn't come to see him. The two exchange insults, Colin plays the I'm-going-to-die card, Mary questions this, he is so angry that he throws a pillow at her, and she leaves. Late that night, she is awakened by his having a tantrum, and Colin's nurse asks her to try to get through to him. A furious Mary yells right back at him, orders him to stop, tell him that she and everyone else hate him, and contests his insistence that he has a lump on his back. She examines his back and confirms that there is nothing wrong with it. This upends Colin's entire worldview, and he is able to calm down and process the notion that he is not really doomed to die. His arc has reached a major turning point, and from here on, he is open to going outdoors, which leads to further progress.

In The Secret Garden on 81st Street, this plays out completely differently (pp. 156-168).

This version's Colin has anxiety/panic disorder and is portrayed as very emotionally fragile and self-doubting. Burnett's Colin has those qualities too, but 81st Street leaves out any of his negative traits. He is not ridiculously spoiled. He does not have an uncontrolled temper. He is not demanding, possessive, and entitled. He's just super, super anxious, which is a struggle rather than a flaw. He has no apparent flaws.

81st Street's Mary doesn't just devote a day to work in the garden without seeing Colin; she ignores him for an entire week. This sets her up from the beginning as in the wrong and makes his being upset with her more sympathetic--which is the opposite of what Burnett presents. When this Mary finally comes to see Colin, excitedly telling him about what she's been doing in the garden, he points out how long she's ignored him and how she knows he can't see the garden. She asks him why he's being like this, and he proceeds to guilt-trip her: "Because you forgot about me! You're going to leave me, too! You'd rather spend time with normal people, like Dickon. And this is all my fault. If I could just be normal and not be broken, I could be your real friend, not just someone you visit when you have time." He starts to cry.

I would consider this emotionally manipulative behavior, not unlike what Burnett's Colin does in the equivalent scene, but it's clear that this narrative wants us to fully side with him by portraying Mary's responses to him as lacking in understanding of his condition. Mary tells him he's being ridiculous and insists she didn't forget about him. He escalates into a panic attack. Mary, like her counterpart in the original, tells him that he's not dying and there's nothing wrong with him. His attack continues, she says he's overreacting, and the adults come running in to tend to him and shoo her out.

Later, Colin's therapist has a long talk with Mary about the nature of Colin's panic disorder and how to properly respond to it. Mary is abashed at not having understood but says she doesn't know why Colin is still upset about losing a parent, because she doesn't feel that way about her similar situation. The therapist talks to her about how grieving is different for everyone. This is followed by Medlock telling Mary to "please be aware of [Colin's] condition" and to apologize to him.

Mary apologizes, Colin berates himself for not being able to control the panic, and she repeatedly affirms that it's hard and she knows he's trying. She then apologizes for having to leave to tend to the garden and asks if it's okay with him if she does. He grants permission. Shortly after this, he decides for some reason that he's ready to go outside now.

In Burnett's story, the purpose of Chapters 16-17 is to establish conflict between the two deeply flawed protagonists which will build to a climax that furthers both the plot and Colin's arc. The argument is the natural outcome of a clash of interests between two characters who are self-absorbed and not used to being told no. Mary reacts with obstinacy and aggression, Colin with entitlement and self-pity, and these characteristic behaviors emerging their interactions move the plot forward. Going outdoors would be good for Colin, but he has always been vehemently opposed to it--so what would it take to get him past what's holding him back (i.e. his belief that he is destined to die young)? Mary returns to her renovation of the garden -> Colin is angry at being left alone and tries to control her -> she attacks his worldview -> he can't handle this and has a tantrum -> she lashes out at him and supplies concrete evidence that he's not going to die -> he has to reconsider his worldview and can thus start on the path toward growth. It's a logical progression of actions consistent with the characters as established, and they respond like humans, not plot devices.

In 81st Street, the purpose of these scenes is to deliver a lesson about responding to people who have panic disorder. It accomplishes what it sets out to do, but from a narrative standpoint, it does much less than Burnett's version. This Mary and Colin do not function so much as individual characters here as they do roles in the lesson being taught.

Mary is a stand-in for a hypothetical audience who is ignorant of panic disorder and liable to be dismissive. It is her job to be wrong, to be called out by an authoritative adult who imparts instruction, to meekly accept this rebuke, and to apologize and be accommodating, because this is what the narrative is teaching the audience to emulate. Whether any of this behavior is strictly in character for her is less important than the example that needs to be modeled.

Colin, meanwhile, embodies panic disorder. Since he is defined by this condition, he cannot have flaws or be wrong in any way lest anything disparaging be suggested about the condition. He is an Issue for other people to correctly react to. So nothing that he does in these scenes is affected by his personality or flaws, and he does not need to learn anything from other people. Other people have to accommodate him. (There should be mutual accommodation and understanding, with her learning to understand his condition and him learning to take ownership of his own feelings without expecting the world to walk on eggshells around him just because he has anxiety, but that's not what's being portrayed here.) Instead of external factors leading to growth, he just...changes his mind one day.

This Colin could have panic disorder and still have significant character flaws like his counterpart in Burnett's story, because these two factors (a psychological condition and one's personal character) really have nothing to do with each other. It would have made him more complexly human to allow him some negative traits, as well as moving the plot forward by allowing his and Mary's flaws to clash and giving him an opportunity to grow as a person, not just learn to manage his condition better (important, yes, but the heart of a story is not in a character's increasing in skill or knowledge but in how they personally develop).

What the graphic novel presents isn't an effective arc for either protagonist. Mary doesn't have any agency in her change; she must be instructed by an all-knowing adult instead of learning things for herself. Colin's change of heart is utterly arbitrary because he hasn't had to learn anything and hasn't had his misconceptions about himself and the world meaningfully challenged. It's just: Mary reacts incorrectly to Colin's condition -> she is corrected and instructed in what to do in the future -> she apologizes and corrects her behavior -> Colin decides he's ready to go to the garden. This isn't a plot; it's a PSA. Instead of letting the characters drive the action, they are there to be vehicles for the Lesson. And that may be instructive, but as far as I'm concerned, it doesn't make for a very compelling story or characters.

#The Secret Garden #I'm not tagging the other book because I'm being critical of it

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miutonium · 11 months

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The other day I cried because I was so sad but then I started thinking about Utonium and I cried more because suddenly I remember why I love this rectangle man.

Call me weird or whatever but I have no shame to admit that he is truly my comfort character and I can't imagine any of my other f/os that can comfort me other than him. I'm a bit embarassed to admit this but lately I don't feel like I was into selfshipping and I got so frustrated because honestly that has been my coping mechanism and like not being able to feel good and giddy about my f/o and think about them 24/7 and making scenarios in my head makes me so upset and I just hate it because I have to deal with a lot of things in my life right now and still grieving for my relationship irl and I feel so horrible omg

Fast forward to last week I was poisoned by twitter and fall for Miguel's Propaganda so like I crowned him as an F/O right after watching ATSV and like consumed a fuckton of medias involving him including reading fanfics again after not doing so for soooooooo long and honestly I feel so great because like I haven't feel any kind of butterflies in me for a very long while and I feel like a school kid with a crush again but then this week has been so cruel to me and like I keep trying to think about Miguel just for confort but I cant??? Like idk maybe because I don't really feel like a deep connection with this man and I just realize something: I like him because he's hot but I don't really click with his personality lol

I started thinking about Utonium again because I was really sad and I just want to be comforted and like after I stop sobbing like a dumb baby and my head hit clarity I remember why I love this rectangle man so much.

I literally will never shut up about this but I never have an f/o like him before. All of my friends knows I will always fall for the tall, brooding, hot bitchy men (which also kinda explains why I like Miguel lol) because I always have this idea of making an s/i that will fix these broken men but not Utonium, he never ever match any of my 2d men criteria at all. Clearly he wasn't hot and he is definitely not a brooding figure either.

But he 'came' when I was actually at my worst and was depressed. I only decided to watch ppg because the cw script leak made me so furious I decided to watch reruns of ppg. I just want something to distract me from my sorrow and I realized that each time Professor appears, I oddly feel comforted. I like how he loves his kids and teaches them to be good people but also scold them when they did something wrong. I find him to be silly because well, he's silly. He's smart sure but he can be so awkward around people I think that's cute. Sure enough I ended up falling for this nerd and then I come back to this site again because I want to tell everyone how much I love this rectangle man.

He's the only F/O I have that I love simply because of his traits and personality. He's the only F/O where I made an s/i that exist not only to 'fix' him, but instead wants to be 'fix' because all I want is to be comforted and wanted and he just hits everything that I want to have as a partner irl.

Maybe I talked about him less than I was before and maybe my feelings for him wasn't as strong as I was a year ago but he will always have a very special place in my heart and whether or not in a couple months or years he might not be my main f/o, I will always think of him as a true f/o to me 💕

#asuka speaks #feeling a bit sappy for him tbh #i forgot why i love him in the first place and remembering why I love him makes me sob like an idiot

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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Always.

“Truth” is just... I mean, I want to say “garbage” but that doesn’t even do how bad it is justice? Like, okay, I take four major issues with it (my followers be like: just four? :P):

First is the writing in general and the continuity of it all. This episode looks like it’s been through multiple drafts and the final product is an amalgamation of a bunch of them with no coherency between any of them. I already could kind of guess it from the Adrimi kiss that the finale removed, but it’s obvious that there were going to be Adrimi/Lukanette arcs in Season 4 but then stuff happened (i.e: the staff being cowards) and they got cut. It’s totally possible that the plot with Jagged Stone being the father and Marinette having to keep secrets from Luka were still the same episode even in the original draft, but I imagine it at least wasn’t episode one.

There are other, more subtle hints as well, like the episode giving no time to Luka learning that Jagged is his father (making the fandom wonder if Luka remembered when he was Truth) and Ladybug being shocked when she realizes that the akuma is Luka as if she didn’t already see him be akumatized. Juleka also gets weirdly sidelined in the episode despite being Luka’s twin (Astruc has stated that both Luka and Juleka are older and Juleka got held back, which is why she’s in Marinette’s grade but Luka isn’t), so she’s Jagged’s offspring as well. One might presume that Juleka just never cared at all but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be allowed to interact directly with the guy or have any involvement at all. All it would’ve taken is for Luka to mention that Juleka never cared about who their father was but he did, thereby implying that Juleka’s reaction to Jagged would probably be more like, “oh okay.”

You know, if they didn’t reduce her to incoherent mumbling.

Second is the timing of this episode. We had the New York special with Paris being destroyed, but it’s clearly fine here (so I guess it isn’t canon now; thank God honestly), and while it’s technically possible that enough time has passed (supported by the vague implication that Marinette having to miss out on dates with Luka has gone on for a while, given Tom and Sabine’s lack of reaction to them dating), it’s not supported by Marinette examining the Miracle Box as if she’s only just gotten it.

There’s also Shadow Moth, where we’re shown an extended version of the scene from the end of “Miracle Queen” where Gabriel repairs the peacock miraculous, giving the episode a “Volpina”->”The Collector” vibe but then why are the events lining up the way they do???

The narrative also does a really bad job at showing us why Marinette is so strapped for time. She has guardian duties now but you’d think it’d balance out with her not having to go to Fu anymore for guardian training (you know, that thing we never saw but was said to be happening or at least that it was Fu’s intent to have it happen). You could argue that maybe Shadow Moth is more active, but then Chat Noir should be affected by this too; Ladybug states outright that she’s been busy and Chat Noir responds with something akin to, “oh I know, because you’re guardian,” which implies that it’s her guardian duties keeping her busy and Shadow Moth is just interrupting her dates specifically.

But we don’t even see what responsibilities she has added on as guardian. I knew the writers would make it so her being guardian was a hassle, but it’s the first episode of the series and we’ve gotten next to no answers for what being guardian actually adds.

It’s almost like this was a rushed first episode to break up the only thing that unambiguously made Marinette happy for the sake of bringing the love square back and needlessly making her suffer because the writers think it’s hilarious.

Speaking of which, the third thing thing is the comedy because--just--I hate the comedy in this show.

Like, just to start, there’s the kwami, who clearly begin with their mob mentality from the later episode of “Furious Fu” and all proceed to act like children. No, I didn’t expect them to all be wise (I mean, Xuppu exists and is very much not that, having been implied to be a fit for Kim who is known for being a total himbo), but I don’t expect them to all scatter like they do. Kaalki in particular, who was shown to be more poised and refined, blatantly reveals herself to a bunch of civilians just for the sake of Marinette freaking out and needing to make up an excuse.

Same with Alya and her friends. Marinette is panicking because of the kwami and Alya “deduces” (while shading Marinette so blatantly that it’s insulting) that Adrien must be there in her house which--maybe don’t SAY THAT OUT LOUD in case Adrien is literally in her room???). Then Marinette gets a call from Luka, shouts his name, and the girls do a complete 180 in support of Lukentte. It’s not like I’m not for them supporting whatever Marinette wants to do, but the shift is so sudden (and contradicts “Frozer”) that it gave me whiplash and the entire scene ends up being pointless since the girls still go with the “Marinette is in love with Adrien” thing when Truth asks them what Marinette’s secret is. Like, we could’ve gotten small, stupid secrets that everyone thought only they knew about Marinette, but instead it’s just the same thing over and over again (which makes no sense since, by the time Alya blabs the secret - which Alya has already told Nino before anyway - it’s no longer a secret therefore making the answer invalid).

Heck, the whole “secret” thing could’ve even been the people Truth shoots finding ways of answering his questions in a way that is technically telling the truth but also not really, such as if Anarka had answered the, “Who’s my father?” question with, “someone you know/someone famous,” so as to avoid saying that it’s Jagged Stone. It’s just boring seeing characters answer with whatever the asker wants to hear instead of being able to find a way around it.

And then there’s Chat Noir, who’s just--ugh.

Like--okay, I’m going to be extremely petty for a moment and just go off because I hate Chat Noir’s role in this entire episode. The Season 3 finale went out of its way to have Chat Noir be all like, “I have a girlfriend,” when it was a lie, and then Season 4 just parkours around Ladybug telling him that she’s dating (Ladybug clearly took no issue with Chat Noir telling her he’s dating so it’s not like she’s worried about issues there; she’s gotten on his case before in episodes like “Startrain” so there are exceptions) because they want to keep having him flirt and not be sAd because this is Marinette’s episode of suffering and Chat Noir actually having to face the reality that Ladybug is dating (not just in love with someone else) would’ve actually been interesting. Chat Noir gets tons of unnecessary screentime in the episode - mostly for the show to shove in LadyNoir shipping fuel - and then actively avoids telling him the obvious thing because he would’ve actually been forced to grow/develop/stop flirting.

It would’ve been so cute and sweet to see him awkwardly trying to flirt without overstepping boundaries (so more like banter than flirt) or - you know - actually try to support Ladybug and want her to be able to finish her dates by him offering to keep akuma/sentimonsters busy, but no, he’s just left in the dark.

The finale had Chat Noir supporting her (terribly but I digress) and then doesn’t do anything with it at the start of Season 4, meaning his support of her was completely meaningless and just there.

His first appearance is him pranking Ladybug when she’s already overstressed and busy, which comes off as super poor taste and I’m both glad he got splatted into that window for it but also upset because it’s screentime completely gone to waste, and of course it’s just a lead up to him guilting her by being like, “nooo the only thing that hurts me is when you leave me alone during patrol!”

I know he’s teasing (...probably) but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because we know (well, I knew because I know how this show works) that Luka and Marinette were going to break up because of Marinette’s hectic schedule, so it just comes off as insensitive to joke about it, especially when Ladybug’s busy guardian status just serves as a reminder that Fu is gone.

Even when he’s protecting Ladybug from Truth’s questions by cutting in and asking a question of his own, of course he asks about himself to forcibly fish compliments out of Ladybug because she can’t lie to him, and of course they have Ladybug compliment his humor most of all as if that trait hasn’t nearly gotten them in danger multiple times and she’s been repeatedly annoyed when he decides to joke during the worst possible times. It’s as if the writers wanted to pat themselves on the back for their own comedy, so they had Ladybug be a mouthpiece to stroke Chat Noir’s ego.

He claims he won’t force a truth out of her and then literally forces her to say what her favorite things about him are. I acknowledge that this can be seen as me nitpicking but we went from the finale where Chat Noir actually stepped up and took charge (because Ladybug was stressed but I guess him doing anything useful is just whenever it serves the plot) to this where he’s back to flirting constantly and jamming in as much LadyNoir shipping fuel as physically possible. It’s not that he’s useless but he’s annoying and takes up space in an episode that’s supposed to be about Luka and Marinette.

And that leads us into the fourth thing, which is the break-up and just the treatment of Luka and Marinette in general. I could go on and on about how the Season 3 finale built up their relationship just to tear it down in the first episode of Season 4, but that’s not the main issue here.

Luka brought Marinette comfort. He made her happy. He never judged her. He was happy to just date her regardless of any conflicted feelings she might have because hey, who is he to complain if she wants to give him a try and who knows what’ll happen?

And the season couldn’t even give one moment of them being unambiguously happy without ruining or interrupting it. I was ready for the break-up and I was even ready for it to be the first episode but I wasn’t ready for it to be so bad.

Marinette’s Adrien pictures appear out of nowhere (again, makes no sense for the timeline) when they’ve been gone for basically all of Season 3 and even “The Puppeteer 2″ specifically which makes a direct reference to “Troublemaker,” the episode that purposefully overdid it with her pictures (”Truth” has more hanging up and clearly used “Troublemaker” as a reference, by the way). They’re just there for force the love square and Adrien into the episode as much as possible to remind the audience that Adrien breathes. There is literally no purpose to any mention of Adrien and bringing him up isn’t even relevant to Marinette and Luka’s break-up.

It’s just upsetting to know that the umbrella scene from “Origins” (which is already flawed in and of itself) kickstarts this whole thing. Adrien did basically nothing there except for clear up a misunderstanding and give Marinette an umbrella when his ride was a few meters away and Marinette’s house was just across the street, but that actives Marinette’s absolutely crippling crush on him that lasts for 3-4 seasons. Marinette is in this eternal struggle of not being allowed to grow and change because the writers think her stammering/crushing on Adrien is funny while actively punishing her for having this crush in the first place (again, like in the scene with Alya, which insults Marinette for her crush when she wasn’t even panicking over her crush).

It’s the same with Luka, and I can’t believe that it took me until this episode to realize that he and Marinette are both treated the same way: tormented by episodes for having a crush on someone. Episodes will go out of their way to forcibly insert Adrien into the plot to both humiliate Marinette and make Luka feel awkward when the episode isn’t supposed to be about Adrien at all. “Truth” is just “Desperada 2.0″ except Adrien is barely on screen at all and they still felt the need to name drop him constantly. The writers are so sensitive to the idea of people jumping onto another ship or forgetting that Adrien exists that they’ll find any possible way to include him.

“Silencer” knew better. “Silencer” knew that Marinette’s life didn’t have to revolve around the mere mention of Adrien’s name and that she had other interests/desires/traits outside of him. Adrien isn’t brought up once and it was great because the show didn’t feel the need (for once) to throw Adrien into an episode that he had nothing to do with.

Even if I was a love square shipper, I would feel insulted by “Truth” because one half of my ship kept getting name dropped and used as a tool to humiliate the other half, which makes it all the more eyeroll-worthy when the love square stans of the fandom praise this episode for breaking Lukanette up when--oh, wait, they didn’t even break up “because Adrien.”

And that ends up being the real thing here. The writers had to invent a reason for Marinette and Luka to break up. We already know that Jagged Stone being Luka’s dad is a retcon (not technically in the show’s canon but in information we heard about outside of it), so they shoved in Luka having issues about not knowing his father specifically so that he would be pushed over the edge when Marinette couldn’t tell him about her being Ladybug.

When Luka and Marinette were just together and hanging out, Adrien wasn’t mentioned once. Say whatever about the Adrien pictures being on the wall and Marinette’s stammering (she always says stupid stuff when she panics - especially stuff she doesn’t mean - so I’m not upset with her so much as the writing for having her mess up in that specific way), but the only time Marinette talks about Adrien at all in the episode is when someone else brings him up.

She goes on a date with Luka to the cinema and they were having a great time without Adrien involved at all. I know I already stressed this point in a previous post, but one of the reasons that I find Lukanette to be so amazing is because the show actually focuses on Marinette’s interests and doesn’t force her to be the writer’s mouthpiece for gushing about their sunshine boy a punching bag for comedy. In every Lukanette scene that doesn’t bring up Adrien/before Adrien shows up, Marinette is either praised, able to be happy, or is showing one of her interests that isn’t aDrIeN, and whereas Adrien being on-screen around Marinette usually just means that she’s gushing about/stammering around him with no development, Lukanette features us actually learning more about Luka or other characters.

“Captain Hardrock” - lets her bond with Luka over a shared interest in Jagged Stone, and Luka is established as a sort of empath who uses music as a way to speak for himself

“Frozer” - gets to practice ice skating with Luka, who is actually good at ice skating and also can tie laces despite not tying his own because he’s a rebel

“Desperada” - gets to try out guitar with Luka and we learn that Luka has been playing guitar for as long as he can remember

“Silencer” - showcases Marinette’s interest in fashion and properly introduces Kitty Section; has a plot featuring all of them together doing something not even remotely love-related and we get actual confirmation of Luka’s crush on Marinette, along with Marinette’s reaction (blushy+happy; just saying, idk how anyone could watch “Silencer” and not think that Marinette was crushing on Luka)

“Heart Hunter” - Marinette gets a song written for/about her and Luka is established to have a job

“Truth” - brings up Lukanette’s shared interest in Jagged Stone, features Marinette’s interest in fashion when she gives him a gift she made + had Jagged Stone sign, and shows her raising her voice but not being judged by Luka for it, who’s happy with her just the way he is

When the show focuses on Lukanette, it’s all about lifting Marinette up, praising her, and making her feel good. When Adrien is involved or it’s hyper-fixating on Marinette’s crush on him, it’s about bringing her down and making her feel bad for a crush they keep forcing her to hold onto and humiliating her for.

Point being, the writers had to force their way into getting Lukanette broken up because of their precious love square and the fact that Marinette and Luka being happy is the opposite of what they want.

It’s embarrassing to watch a team full of old white guys (I’m convinced at this point that they just hang their female writer on a coat hanger so they can point to her whenever someone says that their staff is too male-dominated) treat their female biracial lead with such disrespect, and I can only presume that the mistreatment of Luka is because he’s supportive of her and they don’t like that, meaning that the way she’s treated ends up rubbing off on him.

It doesn’t come off as a fun or interesting plot; it comes off as cruel. When Adrien is sad, he usually gets people rushing to comfort him (”Party Crasher,” “Gamer”), but “Truth” has Marinette in tears over the fact that she can’t have a boyfriend due to being Ladybug and the writing has the gall to crack jokes about Kaalki not knowing what tears are, and then Marinette has to ask for the kwami to hug her for comfort.

When Luka gets akumatized into Truth, the episode doesn’t even hesitate at bashing away at him, from everyone saying that Marinette’s secret is that she “loves Adrien” (which, as Truth points out, isn’t a secret, and they could’ve had this somehow lead up to a twist ending where Marinette actually isn’t into Adrien anymore and the Adrien pictures were genuinely for reference, but she stammered about it because it was embarrassing that her boyfriend got sent it with no context) to one of Luka’s favorite songs actually being about how Jagged abandoned him to go on tour. Luka has to deal with Marinette ditching him constantly (not that I blame her) and not knowing who his father is despite wanting to know, and the episode treats him like trash for... what? Having a crush on a girl who’s secretly Ladybug? Because that’s all it seems to come down to in the end.

I also have serious gripes with the fact that Marinette has this huge schedule established in “Gamer 2.0″ and they don’t even try to explain why she can’t use it to keep track of her obligations. The episode has her say (in a roundabout way but still) that she’s forgetting stuff constantly because of all of her emergencies (the emergencies of which are not stated and I hate the subtle implication that forgetting something means you don’t care about it when that’s clearly not how things work and also not what Marinette comes off as because - again - they establish that she’s overworked) but fails to properly explain it. The episode hammers away at Marinette having all these issues and even has Tikki chide Marinette by asking her about leaving Luka alone while apparently neglecting the fact that Marinette HAS to go be Ladybug right now and what else is there to even do??

Both Luka and Marinette are punished for just having a crush and wanting to be together and I hate that the episode forces a break-up instead of coming up with a solution to the problem. Instead of “Marinette isn’t ready for a romantic relationship,” it feels more like she’s just not allowed to be happy.

Long-distance relationships are a thing. Relationships where people don’t get to go on dates frequently are a thing. Instead of forcing a break-up, the episode could’ve had a lesson/development where Marinette is told that she’s allowed to pursue a relationship and just needs to plan accordingly. but they just didn’t want to.

For example: instead of planning dates, Marinette could wait until an akuma/sentimonster is defeated to call Luka and ask him out, because Hawk Moth usually doesn’t strike immediately after one is dealt with. I’m positive that Luka would happily take impromptu/sudden dates over planned-but-inconsclusive ones. Heck, they don’t even have to date specifically and can just stick to phone calls (kwami can’t be picked up on technology) or hanging out in Marinette’s room/on Marinette’s balcony while they do their thing.

Relationships are a commitment, but that doesn’t mean they have to be a burden, and the episode absolutely drags Marinette over it. The whole thing with the kwami being released and stressing her out when they’re not supposed to be able to just come out normally is explained away by, “oh, the new box must be like you, Marinette; full of surprises!” when the reality is just that the show wants to take away everything that’s sacred to Marinette. The Season 3 finale had Fu’s letter telling Marinette that “life doesn’t always give you what you want, but the real gift is life itself,” then proceeds to turn Marinette’s life into a living hell.

Her room? She has to say good-bye to her privacy because now the kwami are always going to be around. The first thing one of them (Trixx) did was start reading her diary, showing that they have absolutely no shame or regard for Marinette’s feelings.

Her schedule? Conveniently pops away into the realm of non-existence so she can look bad for ditching Chat Noir on patrol and neglecting dates with Luka due to her responsibilities/stress.

Her boyfriend, the one person in the entire show who loved her, respected her agency, never judged her, actually apologized when he made her sad, and who she was genuinely in love with rather than just having the equivalent of a celebrity crush for? She had to break up with him because plot and needing to force her to go back to fawning over the guy who has only made her life worse by her crushing on him.

When I say the universe hates Marinette, this is what I mean. It created random akuma to attack Paris all for the sake of forcing Marinette away from Luka, and apparently didn’t realize what they were doing in the scene where Marinette hurries back to the Liberty when Kitty Section and Adrien are playing together when Adrien is Chat Noir so he should’ve been late too.

(Oh, and Marinette completely ignores Adrien in favor of waving at Luka and even tells Luka outright that Adrien isn’t even a factor in their relationship issues, further proving the “multiple drafts smashed together” and “the Adrien name drops are pointless” points.)

The whole thing in “Backwarder” where it was basically outright stated that Marianne could’ve been Fu’s confidant had Marianne not been outed by Ladybug’s mistake? Completely forgotten and left to the wayside. Marinette could’ve told Luka that she was watching the Miracle Box in Ladybug’s place (for any number of reasons, really: either Ladybug thinks it’s too dangerous to keep with her, or if the public doesn’t know that Ladybug is guardian, then Marinette can just say that she’s guardian) and that she has to run off to keep guard of the Miracle Box when an akuma/sentimonster happens in case Ladybug needs a miraculous.

Boom, done, episode solved. Luka gets to help Marinette with the kwami, Marinette is less stressed because someone knows half of her secret, and Luka and Marinette continue to date but are able to plan around akuma attacks.

But no. That whole thing in “Backwarder” where guardians (or at least Fu) can have a confidant was just there so Marinette could feel guilty about screwing it all up, because she’s not able to take advantage of that perk herself.

How convenient.

#category: salt #category: critique #episode: Truth #other: ml spoilers #other: ask and answer #((This is mostly incoherent because I am very tired.))#((''In general or at the episode--'' Yes.))

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Note

Kait... I honestly come to really love Suit Saeran. At visual novel after empty shell chat where he comes to MC's room, he sounds somewhat gentle though it's because he did not want to be angry at us anymore, but he says so himself "I wouldn't be this gentle if Ray stay silent inside of me". I've just noticed, there are so many of his statements when he intentionally or not, unconsciously or not I don't know, he let his sturdy wall go down even only a little bit. The first one is when the visual novel where he holds MC's shoulder, he shouts at us, getting angry because he's frustated that we will get our cleansing ceremony tonight and he tried to fail it but failed to do so. He's furious that how MC could be so stupid and wrong that we are to have the ceremony because of that. But again, he hides it with how they can't just dispose of us when we belong to him as his toy.

There's this option "let's get out of here. Come with me." He answers with "No! You will leave me." I don't know but it struck to me how at that point, it isn't that Saeran don't want to leave ME because, well it's Mint Eye. He don't want to leave because he's afraid MC will leave him just like everyone else. That makes me realized just how complex his character is and how he has many good traits that he hides behind his anger.

Yeah, it really hurts me to see people misunderstand Ray or Suit Saeran because they see what they present themselves as but they aren't looking deeper to see who they truly are.

People should never say that Ray is good and Suit Saeran is evil, because that's not the truth at all and it's, in fact, insulting to imply that because they're both capable of extremes, good and bad. I've gone over it before.

Saeran is scared.

Saeran is hiding behind a scary mask because he's been hurt and he has to be the strongest or he's going to die. He's awake because Ray was hurt and he needs to protect not only Ray but himself as well. If he points out to you that Ray got hurt, he's actually angry that some person would go and hurt Ray.

Ray is the one that believes in hope and fairytales. Suit Saeran has to be realistic and crush things. He keeps being told that he needs to be crushing things before he's crushed. He is screaming for help and for someone to help him, but he's so scared of being crushed that he is pushing back.

His anger is a sword and a shield. It protects him but it keeps every little thing away from him, the good, the bad, and the ugly. He is the one that doesn't know what he wants. Ray had an idea of what he'd wanted. He wanted to be happy... he liked being with you. Saeran is not sure what he wants.

He's confused. Rika keeps telling him lies and spinning things to make him feel lost and upset. He questions everything and knows that what he's being fed has to be a lie, but the manipulation that went on in the cult ran very deep and he's going to be dealing with that in spades for quite a while.

He doesn't realize that he's scared of losing you like he's lost Ray. He can't feel Ray anymore... you're all that's left. He knows what anger feels like and he knows what fear feels like, but the warm feeling you give him is scary... new... dangerous. It got Ray destroyed. He cannot be vulnerable. He shouldn't love you. But, he does and that's scary.

He tries to protect you by keeping you locked away, he tries to keep you away from the elixir and he tries to tell Rika to spare you so he can keep you safe. He winds up doing the same thing that Ray was by fighting the cult to save you, but he can't confess to himself that's what it is.

He is basically screaming "I AM TRYING TO PROTECT YOU! IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME, THEY'RE GOING TO DO TO YOU WHAT THEY DID TO RAY AND TO ME!"

He is ashamed of himself. By the time he realizes what it is that he wants and that it may be okay to dream... he stops himself. He hurt you. He hurt you by trying to protect himself.

He didn't need to protect himself from you. You weren't the problem. Love wasn't the problem. Mint Eye is. He understands that, but when he calls you to say, "Who would you leave with?"

He will break down after that phone call if you say Ray because he knows that he deserves that after hurting you. If you say him, he will have a bitter laugh because why do you even want him after he hurt you? It doesn't make sense. You may forgive him when he visits you later that night...

But he doesn't forgive himself.

You know what, GE Saeran holds that guilt that Suit Saeran felt, even during the After Ending. He wasn't able to fully forgive that part of his heart until the After Ending. This shame... if it wasn't for the fusion at day 10 that created GE Saeran, Suit Saeran fully intended to let you leave with Ray and he...

He wasn't going to come back out again if he could help it for a long time, if ever. His shame is that strong. Suit Saeran does hurt you, but he hurts himself, too. His character is so much more than someone saying, "I'm evil now, fuck you."

No.

Look deeper into it.

Suit Saeran is terrified out of his mind. He's not just angry... he's aware of the risks and he's aware of his fate. He's scared of everyone leaving again and he's scared of letting people in. He lives on the edge of those feelings until it explodes in his face. There's just so much to Suit Saeran that people don't try to see.

His cruelty isn't excused but I do wish that people would try to see why he's like that.

#suit saeran #character analysis #ask #mod kait #saeran choi #choi saeran #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #mystic messenger

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focsle · 3 years

Text

Vendryth Bio

HELLO here I am with one of my Gigantic Character Bios.

Basics

Name: Vendryth

Nickname: Ven to friends. He also has a number of tacky nicknames in the various small localities he helped out over the years: The Golden Traveler, The Dragon, Trollslayer, Midwinter Hero, ET CETERA ET CETERA. To Neris he is ‘Grandpa’.

Age: Died at age 326. Born 1E 2594, died in 1E 2920. Is Neris’s resident ghost as of 2E 582.

Gender: Man

Race: Dunmer

Class: Battlemage and restoration master

Physical Traits

Height: 6ft

Weight: 210 lbs

Hair: Auburn, pulled back in a long braid.

Eyes: Red

Skin: Dark blueish grey

Distinctive features: Full Van Dyke-style beard. A lot of assorted scars from 300+ years of Fighting Things. Really big gaudy dragon tattoo on his chest.

Mannerisms: He has a confident ease moving and existing in the world, and he definitely takes up space in a lounging sort of way. He also tends to relate to people physically—SHOULDER SLAPPER sort of guy.

Voice: Friendly and booming. Bit gravelly but refined.

Fashion: He likes ornate armors and likes to keep ‘em shiny. In the day to day however, he dresses very simply...keeps his shirt collar as open as possible...

Emotional Traits

Personality: He’s very personable and very willing to help people, to the degree that he is prone to butting into situations that initially don’t involve him. He almost never turns down requests for help and can quickly shift to adapt to situations that call for his attention. He tries to behave honorably, though he hasn’t always done so in his interpersonal relationships in the past and is awkward in coming to terms with that.

Likes a good time. Is boisterous and rollicking and sometimes has an air about him that he doesn’t take things seriously, even though as said above, he can rapidly switch gears to handle grave situations. He’s chummy with everyone. A bit flirtatious & slutty. A pro at entertaining swaths of children. Good at calming horses.

He’s very vain, though not arrogant. He’s surprised if someone isn’t impressed by him, but not upset or offended. He does Heroics partly because he has the ability to and thinks it's the right thing to do, but also because he likes the attention. Likes being fawned over. Doesn’t wanna wear a helmet to cover his pretty face.

Religion / Belief system: He more-or-less adheres to the Tribunal (much to the chagrin of Grandson Neris). He doesn’t believe them to be Actual Gods and thus doesn’t ‘worship’ them, but does recognize and respect them as powerful leaders and has no problem serving their will when it comes to the defense of Morrowind. He later became one of Vivec's Buoyant Armigers, and was quite reverent to both Vivec and Almalexia.

He’s wary of all Daedra. Just expects them to be troublesome and either doesn’t involve himself or actively works against them. He’s pretty straight-laced about all that.

Lifestyle

Background: He was born into a minor family in House Telvanni. Despite his lack of Notable Lineage, he proved to be very magically adept, especially in matters of restoration magic. In his early 20s he married a woman named Tendreni Ilyiil. Their marriage was a strategic one centered more on solidifying future power than anything else—his skills, and her more powerful family connections. It didn’t work out, particularly as Vendryth’s interests turned more towards being a healer rather than the acquisition of knowledge or power. He wasn’t good at communicating that it wasn’t working out however. He decided instead to simply abandon Tendreni and their infant child and forgo any connections to his house. While he would come to regret that action as he got older, he never made amends, feeling too much time had passed for it to mean anything.

Over the decades he worked with both the Mages and Fighters guild, intensely studying Restoration but also battle techniques and becoming quite powerful through the ranks as a result. Initially he took contracts through the Fighter’s Guild to assist people. Then he became a bit of a Freelance Hero around Tamriel, chasing the high of Minor Glories in numerous regions. His mastery of Restoration magic enabled him to slow his aging considerably.

His work took on a more concentrated effort when he was a little over 100 years old, in defense efforts against the first Akaviri invasion that earned him recognition among his peers. He would continue to serve in Morrowind's military for a time, and then more specifically for Vivec as a Buoyant Armiger. Through this work he had the flexibility to continue his Pro Bono Heroics around Tamriel, but would respond to calls back home when needed.

By 2840 he was back to his military engagements, operating as a high-ranking healer during the Four Score War. While certainly not always on the front, he was involved for the entire 80 engagement and managed to live through it as a decorated veteran. Unfortunately when Mournhold was sacked shortly after, Vendryth lost his head to one of Mehrunes Dagon’s army while trying to heal someone.

He had an honorable burial in Necrom, though not in the Ilyiil tomb. However, simmering generational anger over his initial abandonment of his first family led to his ghost being tracked down by Ilyiil ancestor spirits who then bound him to protect the family tomb. He was there for 600 years, and lost considerable parts of his memory and identity as the notion of being stuck there for eternity became intolerable and his emotional and mental state deteriorated. He was forgotten by everyone, beyond a few obscure scholars of specific military history, as the people who remembered him died. He became a very angry and violent spirit until he ran into Neris who was reconciling with his own feelings about his family and sense of abandonment. Neris ended up helping to free Vendryth and established a shrine for him in his own house. Kindred spirits in many ways, Neris’s companionship helped Vendryth get a lot of himself back, and Vendryth also helps Neris take his final steps away from House Telvanni.

Place of residence: In life he lived in a fancy Hall just outside Mournhold. As a ghost he hangs out in a dedicated corner of Neris’s library in Middle Of Nowhere Vvardenfell.

Occupation: Local Hero™, Buoyant Armiger, battlefield healer

Habits: He’s very particular about his appearance...a Preener. Will absolutely fuss over his reflection in a breastplate he’s shining. Winds down with smoking assorted combos of psychoactive herbs in the evenings. Tends to touch people’s arms or has a hand on their shoulder or something when he’s talking to them.

Hobbies: Adventuring (and long walks through impressive landscapes), gathering up all the local rumors, fishing, musical inclinations, reading a small always-rotating collection of books he finds in his travels and then leaves at the last inn he stayed at once he finishes them.

Likes: Campfire stories or collective songs i.e. activities that include a lot of people, theater, retelling his adventures, being recognized, quaint little towns with warm rooms.

Dislikes: Having to be sneaky or anonymous in any way (he’ll DO subtlety and anonymity if it is required of him but UGHHHH!), having to constantly confront the mortality/death of people around him, feeling ‘kept’ by anyone, losing sleep for any reason, having to skip meals.

Goals: His interests move from ‘I want people to know who I am and I want stories to be told about me’ notions of fame, and as he gets older it turns more into ‘I want to do what I feel is right and will help people’. He always appreciates public admiration and relishes in it, but ends up feeling a greater responsibility over where he stands in life and how he can contribute.

Relationships

Orientation: Straight, ish. He’s attracted to women, but he’d be flattered and wouldn’t necessarily say no if propositioned by another gender. But the actual attraction wouldn’t be there.

Relationship status: Had a long string of romances and families across the continent, as well as one dedicated long-term partnership with a General in the Four Score War that was his last relationship. As a ghost…..he’s a ghost…

Notable Relationships:

He fathered 37 children (that he knows of) over his first couple centuries. While he was never completely absent, he definitely wasn’t involved in parenting. He’d write everyone, he’d make sure everyone was materially supported, he’d show up and stay for a few weeks at a time with gifts and stories, but wasn’t much of an Active Partner. He very much considered everyone family and had no personal sense of relationship decay over time; this was met with varying degrees of agreement, acceptance, indifference, sorrow, anger, and resentment across all the different parties.

He grew to be a more somber man once he realized he was outliving them all. Not just partners, but a number of his children too.

Tendreni Ilyiil: His first wife. Their relationship was one of circumstance, duty, and politics. They were quite formal with each other, and had differing senses of ambition. When Vendryth left Tendreni was furious about it, largely because of the principle of the thing rather than because she experienced much hardship without him (though raising an infant more on her own was something she was very angry about, though there was family help for her there). She didn’t feel a loss with him gone. She thought he was a childish coward and wrote him off almost immediately for it. She moved on, but her parents harbored a more significant grudge, as did her child to an even greater degree, especially as Vendryth’s name became more widely known and celebrated. These ancestor spirits, rather than Tendreni, were the ones who ended up binding his ghost to the tomb.

Neris Ilyiil: His great great great great grandson, of Tendreni’s line, who ended up saving him from his spectral imprisonment. Vendryth is very fond of Neris and sees quite a bit of himself in the boy. He loves exchanging adventure stories with him, even though Neris’s tend to be a bit different. He’s grateful for Neris’s help and is also more than willing to provide a sense of encouragement, family, and guidance to him. 600 years in a tomb means he lost the threads of all the rest of his family members and doesn’t know where any other descendants are. As a result he’s really close to Neris because Neris is the only thing that makes him feel like he still...Existed at one time.

Lady General whom we are still working on a name for: A General who Vendryth served under in the Four Score War. She initially thought he was underwhelming which he found…completely baffling and intriguing and his conclusion was ‘she is underwhelmed by me not because I’m NOT great, but because clearly she has done something greater and now I need to find out about it’. Was deeply curious about her from the beginning. Rather than his earlier relationships that were built on initial physical attraction and his usual ‘I am going to charm her with my Gallant Hero Energy’, he grew close to her out of circumstance first and then utter respect and admiration for her as they worked together. She was his sense of grounding through the whole war and was the first person he was actually In Love with. He hoped the relationship would continue beyond the war—that he kept thinking would end the next year, and then the next year, etc. It was unrelenting and he likely wouldn’t have stayed if not for this partnership. He felt it was worth all the enduring hardship. She saw to his burial after the destruction of Mournhold.

#vendryth ilyiil #galen was like ‘u made a paladin never thought i’d see it’#i made a slutty paladin

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hcs-on-the-loose · 5 years

Note

Pillars and upper moons swap roles au?? I wonder what will they be like >:D

Pillar / Upper Moon Roleswap AU??? I GOTCHU DUDE

I only have a 5 character limit though so I picked out 2 Pillars and 2 Upper Moons! ENJOY THE FEAST

Yeet im dumb i forgot to put down uh possible spoilers aye

The Pillars

Shinobu Kocho - Upper Moon 4

Known as the Lady Butterfly, mistress of poison, she who had slaughtered Slayer after Slayer in single strokes. Some say the last thing you hear is a woman’s soft laugh and the flutter of butterfly wings.

Possesses a body that looks like an amalgamation of a human and a variety of deadly insects, particularly butterflies.

Her skin is deathly pale, transparent to the point where you could see her organs. Her limbs and back billow with purple monarch wings, though the rest of her is scattered with toxic spines. And hen she opens her mouth centipede’s mandibles scuttle from it, and her eyes are the compound eyes of a butterfly, bright violet and all-seeing with the number 4 carved into every facet. When she speaks, there is a chorus of wasps in every breath.

Instead of poison, the demon Shinobu being organically an insect as well now uses natural venoms.

Her Blood Demon Art is based on Shinobu manipulating her blood and turning it into various types of venom, each mix deadlier than the last. Unlike her Pillar self, who was limited to whatever poison she had in her sword sheath, her demonic self has virtually no limit on what she can create.

Her most powerful blood technique is known as the Hundred-Thousand Sting; she deploys her worst venoms with her own unaltered blood in the form of an extremely corrosive mist that once you breathe in, you’re a goner. If it touches you, it will seep in, and you’re a goner. If you’re so much in the range of the fog, you’re still a goner.

While outstripped in strength by Gyomei, Sanemi, and Muichiro– Shinobu still proves herself an exceedingly deadly opponent through speed and intellect.

Her personality as a demon is a mangled representation of her traits as a human; while seemingly calm and sweet, Shinobu holds the exact same demeanor while brutally killing others. But she is also notoriously quick to anger, sending her into furious fits as she attempts to reign it in. Make no mistake though, she is still wickedly clever.

As a human, she’d been cared for by her demonic older sister Kanae after their parents were killed and her sister forcefully transformed into a demon by Upper Moon 1 Gyomei Himejima.

Kanae had managed to resist the hunger for human flesh to be able to care for her sister– mercifully spared by Gyomei as she reminded him of a child from his human past.

Shinobu had desperately wanted to become a demon just like Kanae so that they could truly live together, though Kanae always rebuffed her– until the arrival of the Pillar.

The Snow Pillar, Doma. He had battled Kanae under the accusation that she had killed their family and paid no heed as he beheaded her in front of her terrified human sister. Maddened with grief, Shinobu drank her sister’s blood, vowing vengeance on the Snow Pillar.

It was Upper Moon 1 who found her, having been originally sent to recruit Kanae into the Moons. Seeing that Shinobu was far more bloodthirsty and willing to kill, he took her in instead.

Up until now, Shinobu hunts for Doma, and takes special care to kill any Slayer with ice or snow-related techniques slowly. A refinement of her most agonizing of venoms just for him.

Mitsuri Kanroji - Upper Moon 6

This one is insane.

She is Love, she is made of Love, and she will Love and Love and Love and she will take their Love as well until there is nothing left to Love.

It is said that Mitsuri is the kindest Demon Moon, taking her prey with the greatest expressions of Love that they could ever receive. But do they, really? When Mitsuri loves them with everything she has– from her horrific strength to her blood to her insatiable appetite?

Mitsuri is fond of shapeshifting, though her true form is… that of a normal human girl, albeit with pink skin, white eyes and a fanged mouth. She even keeps the unusual hair she had detested her whole human life. Did you think this embodiment of unquenchable desire would be a little racier?

When Mitsuri kills and devours, she does so in every way of loving that she can. She will embrace you until your spine gives way, she will kiss you until your lungs collapse and your lips are torn to shreds, she will lie with you until all is spent and blood seeps from every part of you.

It upsets Mitsuri so that her Love isn’t returned adequately. But she is a forgiving demon– so she will continue to express this devotion to every being until it is returned in full. Not even other demons are exempt.

The number 6 is written in careful script over the pale surface of her eyes. It is watermelon green and pretty and the last thing most of her prey see.

Her Pillar self believes in love, sweet and gentle and ultimately ephemeral. Demonic Mitsuri believes in giving and taking until there is desire to love anymore.

It was what was promised to her, when Muzan fed her his blood from the palm of his hand. She had been rejected for her hair, her strength, her need to love and be loved.

He had found her, cast out and alone, just one cruel husband after another. Muzan promised her that demonhood would let her love for all eternity, that in his world she would never be rejected. Mitsuri agreed. Can you blame her?

As an Upper Moon, her already prodigious strength has made her nigh on par with Sanemi and even Gyomei. Her flexible body surpasses superhuman limitations and weapons simply sink harmlessly as she softens her body to the blows.

Her Blood Demon Art, however, is not focused on her physical ability. If it were, she would have been placed lower on the rungs of the 9 Upper Moons. No; her blood is one that makes the mind bend and dance to her will. Love and aphrodisiacs. One whiff, one taste, and it’s all over. There is only love.

The pinnacle of this technique is her Eternal Ecstasy, where wounding her is suicide in itself if she does not cut her own flesh open first. Her blood becomes incredibly potent and drives men and women alike to madness in their desire to be loved by her– they will kill each other and let themselves be killed by Mitsuri if the initial violence doesn’t get rid of them initially. Her blood is the Marechi equivalent for humanity but is surprisingly more dulled towards other demons.

Await her battle with Hantengu. He thinks himself incapable of love, his Pillar’s skill and impeccable focus. He believes nothing will sway him, not even the rumored supernatural charm of Upper Moon 6. He secretly prays that it is enough when he draws his blade against her in the Swordsmiths’ Village.

—————–

The Upper Moons

Akaza (Hakuji) - The Destruction Pillar

For a Pillar, Akaza– Hakuji is a name he leaves at home for his wife– is unusual even for them.

While the Pillars carry weapons made of nichirin, ranging from blades to blunt force to guns, Akaza fights with his bare fists. It is the only sort of fighting that Akaza has known his whole life and he won’t stop now– not even as his fellow Pillars look to him in concern.

It doesn’t matter. Akaza’s happiest when he’s beheading demons with his own hands. He has gloves especially made for this, made from flexible nichirin, knuckles topped with the sun steel. Even his knees are capped in nichirin.

His breathing style? Some call Akaza a genius, some call him crazy. Either way, he had merged his adoptive father’s Soryu Style martial arts with breathing, creating the Destructive Kill Style. Before he had begun training in breathing, he had depended solely on his own natural strength, and this discovery of the Slayers’ method of combating the demons had raised Akaza’s power to almost how he had been as his demon self.

Hence, he is called the Destruction Pillar. It is an ominous title that, coupled with his roughened features and muscled frame, has even hardened Slayers steering clear of his path. His wife Koyuki knows better though, knowing him as grumpy Hakuji who had a soft heart under all the grit.

In the heat of battle Akaza is an unforgiving beast, relentless in his pursuit and merciless in his killing. At home, he is Hakuji; gruff and quiet but gentle in his selflessness, especially towards his dear Koyuki. Often you can find the Destruction Pillar walking beside his wife in the gardens, feeding ducks and sitting amongst the flowers.

While not tattooed with the criminals’ marks, shortly after becoming a Slayer Akaza had himself inked with a single bar for every ten demons slain. So far he has almost reached the amount of tattoos he has on his demon self.

His story remains nearly the same– but when Keizo told him that he was to inherit the dojo and marry Koyuki, it was not poison that came for them. When Akaza ran to his father’s grave, the two assassins by the well were beset upon by another; a particularly strong demon, a real one, killing then devouring the two before setting its sights on the father and daughter inside.

Keizo could fight, and he fought better than Akaza did when he first met him. He held off the demon just long enough for Akaza to rush to their rescue– only for fate to recall that Keizo had grown old, and he was never as blessed with endurance and strength as Akaza had been. The demon dealt a fatal injury, and Keizo fell.

In another world, Akaza’s hands were bloody with the scum of humanity. In this one, enraged he lunged at the demon and shoved both his hands into its chest. He obliterated its organs and yet… it was Akaza’s first demon, and this demon merely regenerated and laughed into Akaza’s face. In another world the blood had come from sixty-seven men. This time it was blood from the demon that he had killed sixty-seven times through the night. A demon could only be killed through nichirin or the sun itself; when Akaza tore its head off at his final attempt, the demon’s body simply gave.

Akaza collapsed out of exhaustion, and slept for three days. With Keizo dead and her fiance unconscious, Koyuki was in shock and was immediately wracked by a fit of weakness. It was only through the sudden intervention of the Moon Pillar that the couple were tended to; it had originally been Kokushibo who was supposed to slay the demon in their town and upon hearing that Akaza was fighting some unkillable enemy, sought a meeting with him.

It was Kokushibo and a worried Koyuki Akaza awakened to. After confirming that Koyuki was unharmed, Kokushibo then expressed admiration for Akaza’s fighting skill and offered him membership into the Demon Slaying Corps. Initially both Akaza and Koyuki refused. Why would they endanger themselves further with this talk of demon-slaying? But as Akaza thought of Keizo, who had died protecting Koyuki and with faith that his adoptive son would save her, he eventually agreed.

When Akaza rejected having a blade or weapon of any kind forged, Slayers shook their heads and muttered that Akaza would die. There was no Slayer in existence who had gone against Muzan’s spawn with their bare hands. But as they witnessed Akaza wrench off the head of a Lower Moon demon without the use of any weapon aside from his gloved hands, the whispers ceased altogether.

This time it is Akaza who is assigned to investigate the Infinity Train. Before every mission, he prays at the graves of Keizo and his father, kisses his wife goodbye. For some reason he prays a little harder, holds Koyuki a little longer– lately his dreams have been plagued with fire…

Doma - The Snow Pillar

This’ll be one of the only times I’ll not clown on Doma. Treasure it lmao.

Emotionless, capricious, and a known glutton for pretty women, Doma is an excellent Pillar and is frighteningly effective at killing demons. His being a moral citizen though is… highly contested.

As a Pillar, Doma lacks the cult he had as an Upper Moon, but he does have a loyal following of admirers from his pre-Slayer who believe him a sort of demigod for his pale hair and lovely rainbow-hued eyes. His charming personality and pretty face only serve to buoy his reputation amongst the populace as well– much to the chagrin of some of his Pillar colleagues.

Instead of a sword, Doma makes use of his fans; both are made of nichirin steel and hued gold in Doma’s hands. Despite their ornamented surface, they are razor sharp and can function just as well as twin short swords.

His is a pretty, almost gentle breath style; Breath of Snow is more a delicate dance in appearance than something meant for combat. And much like Doma, it is a death sentence to mistake beauty for the lack of deadliness– the Breath of Snow utilizes misdirection and inhumanly fast and precise attacks meant to cripple an opponent before the killing blow is dealt, with these strikes resembling the howling gales of blizzards.

More often than not Doma toys curiously with the demons he hunts, tossing them around with the nigh-invincible evasive ability of his breath before executing them, all in an effort to feel emotions. If the pleasures of human life could not elicit these so-called feelings his fellows had always talked about, then how about violence?

Pretty girls, pretty women; it’s not a real feeling that blooms in Doma’s chest (it’s hollow, Akaza hisses, hollow and cold as shit) but he enjoys them. Enjoys the rapturous expressions on their faces, from pleasure to fear to pain to happiness to despair– he puts his hands on their faces and smiles his best. The beatific one, the one that makes his eyes crinkle at the sides.

After his parents died, his father by his mother and his mother by himself, Doma continued to handle the cult, raised by devoted followers. He grew up the smiling, soulless leader of people he believed as foolish for putting such blind faith in him. It was only after the demon attack that the emotionless monotony of his life was shattered; wishing to devour the rainbow-eyed god the people whispered about, the demon disguised itself as a beautiful woman, hinging on Doma’s well-known desire for ladies. As soon as the demon was in Doma’s presence, it slaughtered all of his attendants and then announced its intention to feast on the leader.

More bemused than terrified, Doma was about to let the demon kill and eat him if only out of a detached curiosity. However, in its haste to eat Doma, the demon accidentally ripped open a curtain– letting sunlight spill into the room. Before Doma’s blessed eyes the demon burned to ashes.

Further curiosity led Doma to seek out the truth behind the sun and the thing that almost killed him. It eventually placed him on the path to the Demon Slayers, and his own desire to encounter the demons again brought him to his training, becoming a Slayer and eventually a Pillar. Discovering that killing demons gave him a semblance of feeling alongside his being with women, Doma strived to find the one kill that would give him a true rush.

This came in the form of a lonely flower-demon, whom the Slayers spoke of only in hushed whispers. Rumors of a demon who had killed her entire family and now atoned in some twisted way by caring for some child, a demon who only killed now to protect its pet. Needless to say that Doma was interested; a flower demon? Why, she’d have to be a very pretty demon indeed.

Kanae was a name Doma learned only after a long, fierce battle through the night. He had known the demon had caught his scent, and was already attempting to hide that human child she kept with her. Well, it wouldn’t do at all! It wasn’t difficult; the demon had no idea on how to fight properly whatsoever, and every flick of his fans and an intake of breath only weakened the demon further and further. It hadn’t taken long for him to bring the demon to her knees, and it was only as he had sent her head rolling into the snow that he heard a name being screamed into the wind.

It was nigh euphoric. The expression on Kanae’s face before he had taken her head was utterly sublime in its rage and grief and resignation, and Doma had felt a soaring glee at this particular hunt. It was a feeling, one that swelled to crescendos and made his blood run hot. The sun rose quickly and Doma left, satisfied. What a feeling to be alive.

Now the name of Kanae rings in Doma’s ears once again as news of Upper Moons circulate through the ranks. A demon borne through the blood of Upper Moon One at the same place where he had left Kanae to burn in the sun, a demon that demands his name with every kill and a demon that butchers any Slayer that dared wield breaths in vein to his. Doma only hums at the talk; another hunt to remember, then.

#ask #shinobu kocho #mitsuri kanroji #akaza #doma #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #kimetsu no yaiba writings #kny writings #pillars #upper moons #AU #tw: body horror #demon slayer #kny imagines #kny blog #headcanon #YOOOOO WTF

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earlgreyandanime · 4 years

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The Pride and Prejudice Musical: Mr. Darcy

I’m gonna start this off by saying I’m absolutely in love with Justin Mortelliti’s voice! I think he’s a great Mr. Darcy and really brings the character to life in a new way that I was not expecting.

Clothing - If you’ve ever seen Beauty and the Beast (1991) you may notice that when we first meet Adam (the Beast) he is wearing red, this is to symbolize his anger and pain at the loss of his humanity. However, when he begins to soften and have feelings for Belle, he changes to wearing purple, this symbolizes his transformation and character growth. Finally, when he has completely rediscovered his humanity he wears blue. This shows how close he is now to Belle, who also wears blue and it appears Mr. Darcy follows a similar course through out the musical.

During act one Mr. Darcy is seen wearing a burgundy waistcoat and tails. He is proud, arrogant and even sings that he must “...hide humanity...” in The World We Live In.

Burgundy is a mix of red and purple, therefore in reference to the red, he currently holds himself above everyone else and allows his pride to be his dominate trait however, in reference to the purple, he does begin to soften towards Elizabeth, much to his chagrin, and though he knows she is “inferior” to him, it doesn’t stop him from liking her. The burgundy color shows just how at war with himself Mr. Darcy is for the first half of the musical.

During the second act of the musical, Mr. Darcy is wearing blue and just like Adam, it’s to show his transformation, the extent to which Elizabeth has effected him and his new willingness to follow his heart despite social expectations.

Behavior - For the first act Mr. Darcy is very serious and stoic, as befitting his character but if you watch closely there are moments when he shows more emotion, it can be subtle at times but it’s there. Watch him in the background during Her Ladyship’s Praise, he is almost constantly looking at Elizabeth as she engages in a sass war with Lady Catherine and gets this little smirk on his face because he’s enjoying watching Elizabeth take Lady Catherine by surprise with her independence and outspokenness.

Mr. Darcy falls in love with Elizabeth’s mind and quick wit and during this scene he is silently enthralled watching her not only battle his aunt but win. Another note on his being silent, notice how all the other guests and servants sing along as accompaniment to Lady Catherine but Mr. Darcy remains quiet the whole time until he ends up laughing because of something Elizabeth says but immediately covers his mouth and goes back to being silent.

With his lack of singing and the laughter he is showing hints of his love and loyalty to Elizabeth in small, safer ways that manage to keep him from enticing the judgement of his aunt and the other guests. He’s getting better but he still very much cares about what people think.

The first act ends with his first, utterly disastrous, proposal of marriage and take note how he delivers the famous line, “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” He speaks hesitantly, it’s understandable when you consider what a shy and nervous wreck the man is but it’s also more than that. When he tells Elizabeth he admires and loves her he hesitates saying the word love, there is a beat of silence between his saying the word “admire” and following it with, “and love you.” and there’s almost a note of shame in it because at this point he is still very much ashamed of his feelings. Even when Elizabeth, absolutely stunned, asks “You love me?!” his simple reply of “I do.” is straightforward and almost sullen in it’s tone because even though he has accepted his feelings he still doesn’t like that they're there.

In the second act we see Mr. Darcy really come out of his shell and display a lot more emotion and it’s because he’s more relaxed, thanks to Elizabeth’s influence as well as the locations.

When we first meet Mr. Darcy it is at Meryton, a place he is unfamiliar with surrounded by people he does not know and it puts him very on edge however in the second act we see him at Pemberley, his own home and he’s not only relaxed, he’s utterly charming.

In the book as well as every other adaptation I’ve seen, Mr. Darcy’s discovery of Elizabeth at Pemberley is extremely awkward and rightfully so but with the musical, he is just over joyed that she is there because for the first time since they’ve met they are in his element, his own territory and this is the turning point for their relationship. Elizabeth getting the chance to see Mr. Darcy at ease, happy and free from judging eyes allows her to see him as he truly is and Mr. Darcy is thrilled by the opportunity to show her not only his world but just how much he has changed as a person because of her.

When Georgiana Darcy is introduced to Elizabeth, she wastes no time in mentioning that her brother speaks very highly of her and just as with Mr. Darcy’s first proposal, Elizabeth is taken aback and asks for clarification. Mr. Darcy once again confirms this fact straightforwardly but he says so affectionately and without hesitation. He has definitely improved on acknowledging his feelings since the first act.

Later when Caroline Bingley is insulting Elizabeth’s physical appearance Mr. Darcy visibly becomes upset and practically yells at Caroline, stating how he considers Elizabeth to be one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen. This passionately delivered line is not only a sign of Mr. Darcy’s love for Elizabeth it shows how little he now cares for the judgement and opinions of other people.

When it’s revealed that Wickham has run away with Lydia, in most other adaptations, Mr. Darcy becomes very serious and stoic again before quickly leaving but in this he becomes angry to the point of startling Elizabeth when he forcefully slaps the table and demands more information. Fitzwilliam Darcy is pissed and it shows clearly. He’s furious at himself for not exposing Wickham when he could have and he’s furious that Elizabeth is practically sobbing right in front of him and he can’t do anything to comfort her.

When Mr. Darcy proposes a second time, he lays his heart before Elizabeth and has no clue what kind of response he’ll get. Even when Elizabeth begins to explain how her feelings towards him have changed he still seems very unsure, he either keeps his head lowered or has his eyes downcast most of the time and when Elizabeth takes his hands he stares down almost confused by the action. In fact, it’s not until he actually hears Elizabeth say the words, “...I’m amazed how I love you...” that his head snaps up and he makes sincere eye contact with her.

Physical Contact - When Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth are having their “flaws” argument at Netherfield they get very close to each other before Caroline suddenly leads Elizabeth away from Mr. Darcy and Mr. Darcy immediately looks shocked and a little uncomfortable as he realizes he is attracted to her. All throughout the book Mr. Darcy is stated to think Elizabeth has very fine eyes and in the musical this is the moment it begins for him. Yes they were arguing but in her annoyance, Elizabeth got close enough to Mr. Darcy for him to take notice of her eyes while they were lit up from her wit and impertinence.

Once again at Netherfield, Mr. Darcy asks Elizabeth to dance and though she refuses, he takes her hand anyway. Though he’s currently at war with himself, it’s as if he reaches out to her automatically out of the possibly subconscious desire to be physically near her but still he remains a proper distance away and though they are touching while they dance, they remain at arms length, close enough for Mr. Darcy to indulge in his attraction but far enough for him to remind himself that she is still “inferior”.

During their argument after his first proposal, Elizabeth once again gets very close to him and Mr. Darcy seems to jump back and quickly begins talking. He’s agitated, hurting, overwhelmed and confused and I think being within such close proximity to Elizabeth was too much for him to deal with at the moment so to distract himself, he goes into his "did you expect me to rejoice?" speech.

After he hears Elizabeth confess her love Mr. Darcy wastes no time in initiating physical contact. At first they are only holding hands but once he knows how she feels, he grabs her and holds her very close before they kiss. Act one Mr. Darcy would probably not have done this because, yes they love each other but they are not yet married nor does he have her father’s consent. Act two Mr. Darcy however is far too ecstatic to care what anyone else may think of him. Elizabeth loves him back and he wants nothing more than to hold her in his arms.

In act one Mr. Darcy follows propriety, in act two he follows his heart.

Insight - Unlike in the book, Mr. Darcy is very aware of how Elizabeth feels about him from the very beginning. In Bravado he states he has no chance with her and he knows she can barely stand him but that doesn’t stop him from falling for her and hoping his first proposal will be answered favorably because his pride tells him that she’ll be honored by such attention so of course she’ll accept him.

Just before his second proposal we see him practicing what to say and he quickly tells himself there is no point in trying this again because she obviously still hates him. Mr. Darcy is being very hard on himself here because even though he has changed for the better, he doesn’t think Elizabeth sees it.

The first time he confesses his love he thinks Elizabeth is unworthy of him, the second time he confesses his love he thinks he’s the one who is unworthy and both times he has to rely on Elizabeth to set him straight.

#pride and prejudice musical #pride and prejudice #jane austen #fitzwilliam darcy #elizabeth bennet #musicals #Theater #mr. darcy #lady catherine de bourgh #jane bennet #lydia bennet #mary bennet #kitty bennet #georgiana darcy #beauty and the beast #belle

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rachetmath · 4 years

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Optimistic Realism: Support Character Purpose

This may be my last rant about this show. As usually it’s my opinion and if you agree then like or reblog, your choice. If you want to add on to this or have a question then comment. If you disagree, fine, but afraid to leave a comment. Read this at your own will and time.

I know I been talking about RWBY a lot, mainly about Jaune Arc, however I am going for a new approach. I am going to discuss what I feel should have been implied in the show between team RWBY and JRN from the beginning and how it should have played in volume seven. And that is with in the title, Optimistic Realism. It’s basically a combination of optimism with realism. But, before we discuss this, let us first know what they mean individually and see who fits in with that definition.

Optimism as stated on the internet, "Is believing no matter how bad things get there will always be a bright future ahead." Basically, staying positive. Team RWBY fits this definition considering each of them are based on characters with these traits. We have seen that in volume one through three on their missions and during the fall. They always go with the flow and stay positive even when things seem impossible. Even in volume four and five they had to regain some of their courage in order to continue forward but to win the battle at Heaven. In volume six, even put their positivity to test, considering what they learned about their world and Salem. Knowing that information crippled them allowing the Apathy to take over, and them barely making it out alive.

Now for realism. Basically "Having to deal with a situation at hand, to the best of your ability." Team JNR fits this well because their based-on warriors. Warriors in order to get stronger they must train, and gain experience while going through hardship. In volume one to three Jaune had to get stronger because of world he chose inhabit. Pyrrha had to deal with being outcasted by her peers and teachers. Ren and Nora do to the fact that they have no home to return to, being hunters was the only thing they had going for them. When the fall happened Pyrrha died leaving team JNR broken. In volume four, Jaune mourns over Pyrrha just like Ren with his home. In volume five, team JNR were ready to fight Oscar the moment he mentions Ruby’s name and Jaune still attacked Cinder, all for realistic reasons. And in volume six, team JRN like team RWBY were upset with the information they were given, and in order to continue, they realistically have no choice because one; Pyrrha died for this. Two; they came to far to fail. And three; might as well not let the next generation have to deal to with Salem. Even volume seven they act real. Jaune and Nora may have stated facts about James’s actions but due to the situation at hand they still followed orders.

Now before I continue let me explain what I believe a support character's job is. Support characters do not just heal or defend the main character. The support characters help the main characters by being stronger, smarter, or have a better since of their emotions than they do. They do not have to be cool or invincible. Zoro, from One Piece, is Luffy’s second in command because he asserts authority. And Nami is third because she can make a plan for the crew to follow. Luffy is too carefree to do any of that. Edward, from Full Metal Alchemist, has Scar, Winry and Mustang. Scar because he knows more about alchemy than Ed does. Mustang considering, he is a soldier of the military, knows more about the complications of city affairs and knows when to take necessary action over being pacifistic. And both are more powerful than Ed and Al are. Winry despite not doing much continues to encourage Ed to get stronger, to see his goal through, and goes anywhere Edward may be to help repair his arm and leg. Basically, the support character's job is not just to be some cheerleader, but serve as guidance and guardians, people who act in the main characters best interest even when he or she may not know it yet. Or if it is mixed in with their own.

Now with that out the way, let us discuss how optimism and realism could affect their actions in volume seven. Yes, James was acting like a nice guy, however it ran the risk of us hating our main characters for their actions. To me, volume seven was like Clover said, "The right choice is the hardest to make." However, his words hold no weight when we the audience had no choice but to side with James because the other two factions were doing nothing but stealing and lying in his face. So here is how I would in some levels re write volume seven.

In volume seven, let us keep half of everything the same. The group become professional hunters, Penny is framed, Jacque still wins the election, Robyn goes criminal and Yang still tells her everything. Instead of team RWBY and JNRO thus far doing nothing, they should have been more active. Now after Yang tells Robyn the truth and lies to the Ace-ops about her getting away, returns to Atlas to their dorms, only to have everyone waiting for them. Ruby decides to talk somewhere private where James or anyone outside their group could not hear them. Truth of the matter is Ruby and the others were already suspected of Yang and Blake, since one, Yang never backs down from a fight and two, Blake has a history of rebellion. The two know they cannot hide, so they admitted to what they done. This led to an argument amongst them with Weiss and Oscar taking Yang's side and Ren and Nora, not so much, until Ruby and Jaune silence them, demanding they return to their dorms and discuss the matter tomorrow.

The next day, early in the morning, Ruby and Jaune decided to talk about the matter themselves. This led to them arguing with each other. Jaune using levels of facts while Ruby uses levels of reasoning and opinion. Both continued to yell at each other until they reach a conclusion. Ruby and Jaune both agreed what Robyn is doing is wrong, but they cannot deny James recent actions to be affective either. So, they made an idea to mix their teams together with Jaune going after Robyn and Ruby staying in Atlas trying to talk with James. Jaune teams up with Nora, Yang and Blake considering all three of them want to help Mantle. Ruby gets Ren, Weiss and Oscar, since Weiss knows Atlas, Ren sides with James and James will not let Oscar out of his sight. Now the real fun begins.

Jaune and his new team JNBY, goes around the streets of Mantle along with Penny to fight grimm and come up with a strategy to capture Robyn and the happy huntresses. However, Jaune wanted to be clear that he is not trying to arrest her but persuade her to surrender and go talk to James. He tells them while Ruby and Oscar tries to reason with James and investigate Weiss's father, they will be watching for Tyrian while chasing down Robyn. Basically, they are trying to make two factions come together and fight against a common enemy. Jaune and his team later manages to capture Robyn only for the citizens to shame them and demand they let her go. Jaune does release them out of their cuffs, however, remember, Jaune is representing realism, so while the crowd is cheering and Robyn celebrates her victory, Jaune makes it clear to her on what is happening. Jaune using facts, expressing his experience and asking questions in which Robyn could not answer, made her think for moment that something big is coming and she will not be able to protect the people from it. Basically, Robyn was sorrowing up in the air, only for Jaune to slam her back into reality and making her choose a realistic approach to solving a matter, even if the people may not agree with her. Putting her in James’s shoes.

Ruby and her new team RWRO, goes on missions to defend and find resources for the new tower. Oscar would continue trying to talk to James but also trains. Weiss tries to figure out if her father had cheated the votes only for Jacque to stop her at every turn. Ren was still being true to James, reports to him but keeps their secret about Jinn and Salem from him. At first, Ren was about to squeal but when James heard what team JNBY were doing, he became skeptical about it and order his men to keep an eye on them. Even willing to fight them if they pose a threat. When Ren heard this, he started believing James may not be as noble as he thought he was. So, he kept his mouth shut and informs Ruby on what is going on. Ruby then informs Jaune in return that way James's soldiers do not get in their way. Finally, when she hears team JNBY captured Robyn and persuaded her to talk to James, she was happy but after the links James went through, because of his suspicions, she decided to tell him the truth. Once he heard everything, he was furious and more importantly scared. However, Oscar using his words persuaded him to see things through. James accepts the truth and was willing to talk to Robyn. Good timing too because team JNBY were about to fight the Ace-ops.

This is when we can consider James a villian or an anti-hero. James turns from being a reasonable man to an unreasonable dictator when him and Robyn meet face to face. Robyn agreed to his demands to return all the stuff she stole as long as James continues to protect Mantle. However she still wanted the wall to be repaired, and the security to be moderate as Atlas so no one can gain control very easily as they did at the rally. James refuses, believing it to be a waste of time. This is where Ruby and Jaune get angry. Jaune tells James what was on his mind about Robyn, believing what Robyn states is fair considering half of the soldiers down in Mantle are robots, and she was willing to return what she stole and maybe assist them in capturing Tyrian. But James believing in his military might does not listen. He then told his Ace-ops to take Robyn away, only her to pull off one last trick up her sleeves. She fired a heavy flash arrow grenade, blinding everyone and escapes.

After that, Ruby and others were in the training room, trying to practice, only to feel apathetic. They felt defeated. Qrow and Maria tried to cheer them up but decided to let them be. Ruby apologized, thinking she never should have told James anything, only for Yang to say the opposite, stating at least he knows what’s at stake. Jaune questions her statement based on what they already saw so far, feels James has no clue at all, only for Oscar to calm him down before he goes too far. Weiss asked what they are going to do now. Nora suggested they just leave and go to Vacuo, Ren suggested maybe stay in Mantle and try to keep it safe, only for Ruby to tell everyone to be prepared for the worst. The gang were surprised and turns to Jaune, only for him to nod his head in agreement. Jaune stated facts, if they turn on James, they will be wanted national criminals. If they go about recklessly it could makes things worse than they already are. And if they do not know what Salem could be planning then they might as well be setting Atlas up to be destroyed. Everyone despite how cruel they feel, understood and decided to keep training and prepare for the next day.

And that is all. Salem never shows up, James still wants to continue with the new tower, Robyn is relevant and RWBY and JNRO are now fully active. Basically, what I hated about the seventh volume is it was completely one sided. James was the only good guy, the main characters were not active but reactive to their situations, and Robyn was just some nobody who could have served a purpose in story. Nobody but James was given any sort of character. And those who did get some character, did not deserve it. Like Yang, who was supposed to have more of a problem with keeping secrets especially from James.

So, what do I want out of all this? Simply, give everyone a role to play other than the main characters. The main characters do not have to do everything. If team JNRO can relate to or handle a situation better than team RWBY can, then let them do their jobs. Team RWBY can still be stronger than them but they cannot always be wiser or more decisive than everyone else. They can be reckless but give a group like Jaune, Ren, Oscar and Nora an ability to grab them by their hairs or the collar of their shirts and know when to tell them; Jaune to Yang: "Calm down and think."; Ren to Blake: "Focus."; Nora to Weiss: "It's okay."; and Oscar to Ruby: "Slow down and listen." Team JNRO unlike team RWBY suffered the most out all the characters. Jaune lost Pyrrha because she was stupid to go back to fight Cinder. Ren and Nora lost their homes and families because hunters were never there. And Oscar literally had to leave his home behind and may never see his aunt and uncle again, since he could die or fade from existence. What I am saying is give support characters room to breathe and grow so they can continue to do their jobs. Which is to act in the main characters best interest.

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equisetumspn · 4 years

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Finale take

It took me a few days to finally put my feelings on the finale and how it impacted me into words. It actually helped a little bit to write some of it out, cathartic almost.

It hurts. I found this ridiculous show and its fantastic, remarkable fandom many years ago. It helped me to cope when I was feeling at my very lowest, struggling with my depression and my anxiety. It helped. I didn't feel so overwhelmingly alone. It actually did help.

A big part of that was due to the characters and their constant determination to go their own way, to keep fighting against destiny. I found bits and pieces of myself in them.

Sam and his studiousness, his thirst for knowledge.

Cas. Castiel. His awkwardness. His always trying to find a way to follow his heart. To do right. His struggling to accept himself. His want of finding a place to belong.

But Dean. Oh Dean. I could, or would, never claim to share all of his traits, but I don't think that I've ever seen so many sides of myself in a fictional character, at least there is none other I can think of right now. His stubbornness. His dorkiness. His silliness. His sarcasm. His trying to find joy in small things. His compassion. That soft, caring heart so deeply hidden. His ability to love so intensely, but not really express it in words. How much he hurts. How deeply tired he is. His intense feelings, and the reluctance to put them into words. His ability to hold a grudge for so long. His bisexuality, though never truly canonicaly expressed in words, it was still so obviously there for those of us who saw ourselves in him, and seeing that helped me to come to terms with my own, to realise it and see my self in a different way, and to start to tell others about it. His protectiveness and the need to take care of a younger brother, to protect him from family conditions that were less than ideal - my situation far from Dean's, or what many others have to go through, but it was still more than a young child should have to bear.

I have always become incredibly, and perhaps overly, invested in characters and stories. It has always been my way of escaping when reality became overwhelming, frightening, or just too much for me to handle. There have been so many characters and stories that have made an impact on me, that have helped me cope through my most difficult and lonely times, so many that I have cared for and loved. But these three? These three with their fighting for themselves, each other and the world; these three with their personalities, with all their quirks and faults; these three with their perpetual struggles and their found family? They hit differently. When I had the most difficulties of even liking myself, I liked and loved and wanted better for them - and that in turn somehow helped me believe that I could actually be allowed to feel a little bit better myself. That seeing parts of me in them and still love them, could possibly mean that perhaps I could deserve to feel better and perhaps could leave the flat lined, grey limbo my life had become. Eventually I got help and could get my life back on track again. But this ending hurts. Of course it hurts.

Underneath the soul crushing sadness and the furious anger, I just have a feeling of betrayal that has been seeping through every aspect of my life in the past week. It is unfathomable to me that could do this. To end the show like this. It is a betrayal to the actors who have lived with these characters for so long. It is a betrayal to the crew who throughout the years have worked to bring this show to the screen and to give it life. But most of all it is a betrayal to the characters who fought so hard to live life on their own terms and to us. To all of us who have ever seen any part of us in them, whether that be the main characters or in someone who only showed up a few times. And that is because representation matters.

Representation matters and heaven knows that Supernatural has had its fair share of problems with diversity, regardless of if you think about it in terms of women, BIPOC, queerness, physical disabilities, or mental health issues. I'm not saying that other shows don't have these issues, because they do and there is probably no such thing as a perfect, unproblematic show. I'm not trying to negate the feelings or experiences of fans of other shows (or even that of the people who actually enjoyed the ending of Supernatural - good for you). I know what it is like, I have been here before, burned before.

It is a gigantic problem that television in particular, and media in general, has failed to fix. Progress has been made, but we are still a far way off. Ultimately I do believe that the majority of the problem lies with the networks that somehow fear of no longer appealing to the general audience and thereby advertisers, of being seen as niche, of fear of losing money. That they don't realise that they are more likely in the long run to lose audience and money when long-term fans are less likely to rewatch anything they dislike the ending of, and of fewer new people tuning in for something they've heard others be discontent with, why would they be wanting to see something where they aren't able to see themselves represented. Why waste all of your precious time and money on something that in the end are likely to leave you feeling disappointed and / or unseen?

Stories and shows are still allowed to have an unhappy ending. Of course they are. For some it is even necessary, an unhappy ending can still be a good ending to the story. That's not the point here. The point is that the story of Supernatural did not have a good ending, no matter whether you see it as happy or unhappy. It was, in my opinion, illogical and went against everything that they had built towards for years. Perhaps I am too naive or maybe I have read too much meta on this show and analysed it too much over the years, but I chose to trust what my eyes saw and my mind was telling me. I chose to believe what I have learnt about storytelling through all the movies and TV I've seen and all the books I've read. After all that fighting and doing everything to break free from being a spiteful and bored god's playthings to in the end saying "screw free will, it is impossible to escape your destiny"? That is an illogical ending that doesn't care about its story's legacy. So here I am. A grown woman upset over the ending of a long running TV show and the fact that the characters who brought me some kind of joy when I was feeling my lowest and whom I saw myself in didn't get resolutions that made sense. Can you really blame me for being hurt?

#supernatural #spn finale #sam winchester #sam winchester deserved better #cas #castiel deserved better #dean winchester #dean winchester deserved better #we deserved better #representation matters #family don’t end with blood #spn analysis #suze says #long post

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osakaso5 · 4 years

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Spirit Kaleidoscope: Empty Absolution

Chapter 16 - The Same Goal

Chapter Index

Forest Plaza

Hokuto: The yokai are in the lead, with two victories. It's just as I expected... Not that I care either way, as long as my pockets are full.

Sana: Hokuto-san! There you are!

Hokuto: Oh, Sana! And Azuma, too. I've been making a killing, thanks to you. You'll both get a cut later...

Shisei: ........

Hokuto: ...Wait, Shisei!? Why are you in Hikagemachi!?

Shisei: ...o.

Hokuto: ...Huh? What was that? You need to speak up.

Shisei: ........ ........I want to return... To the grotto...

Hokuto: Huh!?

Azuma: He's been like that for a while now.

Azuma: He said he wanted to come to the city, but he's probably not used to all the yokai...

Sana: He's been gripping the hem of my coat ever since we left the grotto. Ehehe, it's so cute..!

Shisei: U-ugh...

Hokuto: ...No, hold on a minute. I know I told him to leave the grotto, but if it scares him this much, then he shouldn't force himself...

Shisei: ...No. I'll come with you... Urk...

Hokuto: ...This is no good. Why is he so insistent..?

Sana: Um. I know Sana-san is scared... But this was still the first time he's ever wanted to go outside.

Sana: I'll stay by his side! And he might grow accustomed to the outside world while we search for the kaleidoscope..!

Hokuto: ...I guess we shouldn't leave him alone in the grotto when he's like this.

Hokuto: Speaking of which, how's the kaleidoscope thing coming along? From the sounds of it, you haven't even found it yet.

Azuma: About that... We're in a bit of a pinch.

Sana: The truth is...

- - - -

Hokuto: What!? You lost the kaleidoscope immediately after stealing it!? And you got it mixed up with a katanashu's stuff...

Sana: W-we were really in a hurry...

Hokuto: You've got to be kidding me... How'd it come to this..? Whatever, it doesn't matter.

Hokuto: Can you fix this if you get into the katanashu camp..? It hasn't been long since you lost the kaleidoscope, so that katanashu might still have it on him.

Azuma: Yes. It's a good thing we've got access to the tournament.

Hokuto: I'll leave the guys from the gambling den to keep the books. Let's go. The tournament's halfway done... We don't have much time left.

Sana & Azuma: Yeah!

Shisei: ........

Forest Plaza - Katanashu Camp

Hanabusa: The fourth match is next...

Momiji: Commander...

Madoka: ...Do you really think we can keep going? Are you seriously planning to fight?

Hanabusa: ........

Madoka: You're going up against Mizuchi, right? I know you're a real powerhouse, Commander, but with an opponent like that...

Uta: Yeah. They used to call him a water god back in the day. Hard to imagine that a human could beat that.

Momiji: But he's probably not a real god. We don't know unless we try...

Uta: We don't need to try! ...He's much stronger than Kyubi-no-Kitsune, y'know? He's the most broken character in the game, we might as well give up now.

Uta: Even Commander Hanabusa's most likely planning to call it quits. We'll save precious time if we go back and start packing now.

Momiji: ........

Momiji: Commander Hanabusa. Make sure to defeat Mizuchi.

Hanabusa: .....!

Uta: Huh!? Wait, Momiji... Were you even listening to me!?

Momiji: I was. But I'm relying on Commander Hanabusa.

Uta: Huh..?

Momiji: ...I need to battle Ungaikyo. In order for me to do that, we need to win the fourth match.

Momiji: So, please. Defeat Mizuchi for me, Commander.

Hanabusa: ........

Madoka: Ah... Come to think of it, didn't you say something along those lines when you were picked for the tournament?

- - - -

Momiji: May I ask you one thing?

Momiji: Can you make Ungaikyo my opponent?

- - - -

Madoka: Does it have something to do with the memories you talked about?

Momiji: ...Probably. I'm not completely sure...

Momiji: I have a lot to ask him. Whether we really met in Hikagemachi, and why he has my kaleidoscope.

Momiji: ...No... Maybe I don't even care about those things.

Momiji: I... I just need to...

Click

Uta: ...Momiji..? Why do you have your hand on your sword? You look like you're about to draw it...

Momiji: ........ ...When did I..?

Uta: Huh? You didn't even notice?

Momiji: ........

Aoi: Momiji's right.

Momiji: ...Aoi.

Madoka: Ah, you woke up? What about the wounds you got from Onibi?

Aoi: Don't worry. The medicine is doing its job... Ow...

Madoka: Oh, geez. You're trying to play tough.

Aoi: ...Shut it. The tournament is more important. I want Commander Hanabusa to win his match, too.

Aoi: The same goes for you, Momiji. Make sure to beat Ungaikyo. Don't let these yokai defeat us.

Madoka: ...What's gotten into you? You're all fired up, even though you hated doing this more than all the rest of us.

Uta: Losing to Onibi must've really upset you.

Aoi: ...Shouldn't it have? In all honesty, I'm so furious I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Aoi: I'm not going to let them defeat us and drive us out. I'm no going ot be a loser.

Aoi: ...I'm a soldier. Even if I lose a battle, I must win the war.

Madoka: Wow. Someone's getting heated.

Momiji: What do you think, Commander?

Hanabusa: What are you going on about..? I told you from the start that we'll win.

Hanabusa: Our plans have changed, but we're not done yet. There's no need to run from the fight.

Hanabusa: We'll win both matches and secure our victory. That is all.

Momiji: ...Yes!

Hanabusa: Also, about Mizuchi... ...Hmph. I hear he's exceptionally strong, even for a yokai.

Hanabusa: I'm lucky to be able to fight a water god. I've always wanted to face off against him. ...The fact that we're cornered only excites me more.

Madoka: ...Commander Hanabusa looks really excited...

Uta: He's earned his nickname as an ogre not only in Hikagemachi, but on the battlefield, too.

Aoi: That's bloodlust...

Madoka: Everyone's so into this... Not that I want all my hard work to go to waste, either.

Madoka: Since I'm the only one of us who's won so far.

Uta & Aoi: Ugh...

Madoka: I'd love to quit all this military stuff and go home, but I'd prefer an honorable discharge.

Uta: At least you have a home to return to. If I get chased out of here, I have no place to go.

Uta: Sigh... I guess that means I've got a lot riding on this tournament, too. ...Please, Commander. I'll give you all my support, just this once.

Uta: I'm a good strategist, you know.

Hanabusa: Hmph. Will you apologize to me if I win?

Uta: Ahaha. I'll apologize plenty, if that's all you need.

Aoi: ...This doesn't change the fact that he's not someone you can take head on. We need a plan...

Aoi: Mizuchi is of an ancient dragon species. Considering that he's so well-known as a serpent god that rules the waters, it's safe to assume his powers are practically on the level of a deity.

Madoka: Whoa... The more I hear about the guy, the stronger he seems... Does he have any weaknesses?

Aoi: Weaknesses... I believe he can't handle gourds...

Uta, Momiji, & Madoka: Gourds!?

Madoka: And we obviously don't have any...

Uta: Should we go look for one in the city? ...Is Commander Hanabusa gonna throw the gourd at Mizuchi in the middle of their fight, or something? Wouldn't that look really weird?

Madoka: ...Pfft! Hey, cut it out... Just imagining that is making me... Pfft...

Aoi: ..I wasn't joking. Other than that, he's a water yokai, so he should be weak against anything with earth powers...

Aoi: That being said, there's honestly no real weakness for us to take advantage of right now...

Kasane: Hold up. I've got Mizuchi's weakness right here~.

Uta, Momiji, Madoka, & Aoi: Commander Kasane!?

Hanabusa: ...Kasane, you bastard... Where have you been wasting your time up until now..!?

Kasane: Yer makin' that scary face again. Why don't ya chill out and listen to my side of the story, first?

Hanabusa: Your side of the story..?

Kasane: I figured somethin' like this might happen, so I was investigatin' yokai traits.

Kasane: I tried to wrap it up before the tournament... Sorry for missin' out on the beginnin'.

Hanabusa: ........ So you didn't run?

Kasane: Unbelievable. I'm still commander of the second squadron, ain't I? I'll do my most basic duties, at the very least.

Hanabusa: Kasane, you...

Madoka: That didn't mean you had to fake a stomach ache... You could've just explained what your plan was!

Kasane: Huh? But that would've taken too much energy.

Madoka: Ugh... This guy...

Kasane: Besides, Hanabusa-han's better suited to fight than me. I figured he'd handle things here.

Momiji: Commander Kasane...

Uta: ...Crap... I'm kinda starting to think Commander Kasane's cool...

Aoi: Him, of all people...

Kasane: Yer not bein' very nice. It hurts my feelings.

Madoka: This is payback for everything you've put us through.

Kasane: Like what?

Kasane: In any case, let's give it our all. All of us katanashu, comin' together for this one fight, yeah?

Madoka: Coming together... That's not exactly our style.

Aoi: ...Just this once, it's fine. Our goal of winning this fight is the same.

Uta: Yep!

Momiji: Exactly.

Hanabusa: Yes. ...We must win.

Uta, Momiji, Madoka, Aoi, & Kasane: Yes, sir!

Forest on the Outskirts of Town - Large Maple Tree

Ungaikyo: ........ This blade...

Click

Ungaikyo: I thought I wouldn't need it anymore... I knew I should've thrown it away. ...Are you the one telling me to fight him?

Ungaikyo: Telling me... To avenge the others...

Ungaikyo: ...Uuh... Hic. I'm sorry... I'm sorry, everyone... I'm sorry that I'm the only one who ran away to a place like this...

Ungaikyo: ...Sniff. Fine. I'll fight him.

Ungaikyo: ...I won't run away anymore. I'll cut him down with this blade.

Ungaikyo: Maybe then the others will forgive me.

To be continued...

#idolish7 #spirit kaleidoscope #translation #event story #other translations

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teacupfulofstarshine · 5 years

Text

to be set in your place

this is a gift for my wonderful friend @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors!!!! it’s inspired by their remile greek myth one-shot the sky most holy and y’all should go read it it’s amazing and so are they the end

summary: remy never wanted to see theseus again. not after what that self-centered, stuck up hero did to him. so, of course, the fates saw fit to cross their strings. (OR: remy runs into theseus in the afterlife and has some choice words for him.)

pairing: romantic remile, past romantic remy/theseus, background romantic logince

word count: 3603

(tw: brief mentions of implied past character death, theseus being an asshole, mentions of past abandonment)

read it on ao3!

Remy never thought that he would willingly go to the Underworld. He didn’t want to go the first time, hearing the desperate pleas of his husband and children around him as the world faded to black, and when Emile came for him it was the happiest he’d ever been. He had sworn to himself that he would never return to the Underworld again.

If anything was going to get him to go back there, it would be his children.

Emile offers to make them immortal as well, when their threads of fate are finally cut short, but they refuse. “You can’t make us all immortal, Papa, Olympus will be furious,” Immy tells him.

“We have each other here,” Nessy smiles. “And besides, you and Dad can’t expect to spend forever with us following you around, can you?”

“You can always come and visit us!” Missy adds, throwing her arms around her parents. Emile looks like he wants to argue, but Remy lays a gentle hand on his shoulder and shakes his head. Their children are heroes; they have achieved Elysium, just like Remy did, but they have earned it. They will want for nothing here, safe and warm and protected.

“We’ll have to ask Logan if we can visit,” Emile sighs, gathering all his children into his arms and hugging them tightly. Remy carefully wraps his arms around his family, pressing kisses to the foreheads of all of his children. They wave at their parents, and Emile carefully leads Remy to the palace of the king of the Underworld.

“If you are here to request permission to make your children immortal, I have to decline,” Logan says curtly. He sits on his throne and glares at them, but Remy takes no offense; Logan always gets grumpy during the spring and the summer, when his husband returns to the surface world and he is alone. “I cannot continue to let people waltz out of my realm with my subjects.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” Emile says gently. “I don’t want to make my children immortal, I just - I want permission to visit them sometimes, for me and my husband.”

Logan sighs. “And I suppose you are just going to pester me until I give you permission, the same way you did when you wanted to make your husband immortal?”

Emile’s cheeks turn pink. “I . . .”

“If he doesn’t, I will,” Remy says firmly. “You know you’re just grumpy right now because Roman’s not here. You of all people know how it feels when you’re separated from your family and you can’t see them.”

Logan glares specifically at Remy, and he hears Emile shuffling his feet nervously at his side but he tilts his chin up defiantly and glares right back. He will not let Logan’s bitching keep him from his children.

Finally, Logan sighs, casting a glance toward the throne next to his. Where his throne is pure black, polished obsidian, sharp and angular, the one next to his is elegant and bone-white, elaborately carved with flowers and vines. Logan reaches out and runs pale fingers over the pale carvings, and Remy wonders how he would react if he only saw Emile for six months of the year.

Suddenly, Logan’s reactions make perfect sense.

“I suppose,” Logan says, voice soft, “that I can permit you to see your children.”

“Thank you,” Emile murmurs, bowing his head.

“Thanks, Logan,” Remy says. “I know how much it sucks, to be separated from your spouse, but there’s only, like, two months left until fall happens. He’s coming back soon.”

“Yes,” Logan murmurs quietly. “That is . . . some comfort. I apologize for my short temper. I find that the absence of my husband tends to . . . exacerbate my more unpleasant character traits.” “Apology accepted. I, for one, am an absolute bitch without my darling Emile around to temper me.” Emile blushes even more and lightly smacks his arm.

“Remy!”

Logan cracks a small smile, however, and Remy counts it as a victory.

*~*~*~*~*

They visit their children once every two weeks. Immy’s husband and Nessy’s wife both make it to Elysium as well, and Missy makes fast friends with a pair of mortals named Virgil and Patton. Virgil is a musician, she eagerly explains, who charmed the rulers of the underworld into giving him a chance to win his husband back, and now they reside in Elysium together. Virgil performs for Logan (and Roman, when the prince of spring returns) on the regular, but he is always happy to perform when Remy and Emile visit.

One day, the first day of fall, Remy is on his own as he ventures to the Underworld. Emile is busy with some godly duty or another, and Remy is quick to assure him that he’ll be okay on his own.

He is not okay. He is very, very lost. Emile is typically in charge of navigating them to the entrance to the Underworld, and Emile is not here, and Remy is lost.

“Fuck!” he shouts angrily. He almost kicks a tree, but decides that today is not the day to get a dryad angry at him.

“Hello?” someone calls. Remy turns rapidly, catching sight of a young man wearing red and white, with glowing bronze skin and fluffy bronze curls. His eyes are bright, and his smile is wide, and Remy inhales sharply as he recognizes the god of spring, the prince of the Underworld. “Is everything okay?”

Remy’s brain short-circuits for a moment before he lowers his head in respect. “Roman, Prince of the Underworld,” he says, because anyone who wants to be in Roman’s good graces doesn’t dare refer to him by the epithet of God of Spring outside of that season.

“No need to be so formal!” Roman laughs, clapping a hand onto Remy’s shoulder. “I know who you are - you’re Emile’s husband, right?”

“I - uh - yeah, I am,” Remy stammers. “I didn’t realize you knew who I was?”

“Well, I am the one who convinced Logan to let Emile take you from Elysium and make you immortal.”

“I really, really appreciate that,” Remy says honestly. Roman smiles, eyes soft.

“I understand the pain of being separated from the person you love most in the world. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. I don’t think Logan appreciates how easy it is for me to convince him to let his subjects walk out, but I’ve only done it twice and I don’t regret either of those occasions.”

“Are you on your way home?” Roman looks slightly shocked when Remy refers to the Underworld as his home, and for a moment he worries he has upset the god. But then Roman smiles, brilliant and blinding and utterly joyful.

“Yes. Yes, I am, I am going home to my wonderful husband. Is everything alright with you, though? You sounded . . . upset.”

“Understatement,” Remy huffs. “I’m actually headed to the same place as you are.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. My kids are in Elysium, so Em and I visit them pretty regularly, but Em’s busy with godly stuff today so I’m on my own. And because Em usually navigates and I don’t pay attention . . .”

“You’re lost?” Roman guesses.

“So far beyond lost, you have no idea.”

“Well, we’re going to the same place, aren’t we? Let’s go together!”

“That sounds amazing,” Remy says, easily falling into step with the other god. Before he knows what’s happened, he and Roman have been talking for hours and become fast friends, Remy promising to stop by and visit Roman when he visits his children during the winter.

When they approach the entrance of the Underworld, Remy spies a figure standing in the mouth of the cave. They almost appear to be searching for something, and Remy grins as he lightly elbows the other god.

“I think your husband missed you.”

Roman looks towards the cave, and his entire face lights up. He breaks into a run, waving his arms and shouting wildly. The figure is still for only a moment before moving rapidly towards Roman, and Remy takes only a moment to stare in awe at the pink and red carnations springing up in Roman’s wake before he’s hurrying after his new friend.

He catches up just in time for Roman to throw himself at the figure, which turns out to be none other than Logan himself. He catches Roman skillfully, using his momentum to spin them around, laughing gleefully. Roman locks his legs around Logan’s waist and his arms around Logan’s neck and his mouth against Logan’s. Remy smiles softly as flowers sprout spontaneously on Roman’s head, a physical manifestation of his joy. He recognizes red roses, heliotrope, honeysuckle, blue hyacinth, and morning glories among the veritable garden blooming in Roman’s hair as he kisses his husband for the first time in six months.

Remy stands there and watches them kiss for almost a minute. He wants to interrupt with his typical witty sarcasm, but he recognizes that the king of the Underworld has not seen his prince in half a year, so he says nothing.

Finally, they break apart, resting their foreheads together. Roman giggles, and Logan smiles, laughing softly. “Hello, my love,” he rumbles, voice low and impossibly soft.

“Hello, Logan,” Roman responds, rubbing their noses together. “I missed you!”

“And I have missed you. The Underworld is far less alluring without your presence.”

Only after a few more minutes of whispered affections and soft, gentle kisses does Logan notice Remy’s presence. His ears and face slowly redden, although he makes no move to put his husband down or prevent Roman from covering his face in little giggling kisses. “How - how long have you been -”

“The whole time, but don’t worry about it. It’s cute, it really is,” Remy says. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone how the great and powerful scary brooding god of the Underworld is a huge softy when it comes to his husband. I’m just here to see my kids.”

Logan looks like he wants to be angry (or at least severely annoyed), but he is distracted by his armful of happy, loving, giggling Roman. “Very well. Be on your way, then.” “Don’t forget to visit!” Roman chirps. Remy promises that he will, and begins his trek through the Underworld to Paradise.

*~*~*~*~*

Visiting his children is always wonderful. Virgil and Patton are there briefly, greeting Remy warmly before they head to the palace. Remy thinks on Roman’s poetic waxing about the music of the Underworld and hopes he finds the music satisfactory (although he does not doubt Virgil’s skill).

All too soon, Remy is standing and brushing off the thin fabric of his clothing, retying the sandals to his feet. “Do you have to go, Dad?” Immy begs.

“You know how your Papa gets when I leave him alone,” Remy teases. “I died once and he went completely off the rails! I didn’t even stay dead!” It has taken many years to get to the point where he can laughs at his own mortality, at the fact that he almost lost his husband and his children forever. Emile still has not reached that point, but he has at least stopped looking like he is the one with a javelin in his stomach every time Remy jokes about it, which is an improvement.

His children all crowd around to hug him, and he takes special care to cup each of their faces in his hands and press lingering kisses to their foreheads. “Be good, darlings. I love you, very very much, and so does your Papa.”

“We love you guys too, Dad,” Nessy says.

“Give Papa hugs for us, okay?” Missy requests.

“Of course I will. We’ll both see you in a little while, okay?”

His children wave at him as he leaves their corner of Paradise. He may not know the way to the Underworld, but he knows how to get to the palace from Elysium so that Logan can send him home. He is preoccupied as his feet retrace the familiar path, with thoughts of his children and his husband and his new friend the prince of the Underworld, and he is more than used to passing by the souls of departed heroes without much fanfare.

And then he passes someone and hears a sharp intake of breath, a wavering voice that he has not heard in decades, a disbelieving whisper.

“Remy . . .?”

Remy stops in his tracks, and for the first time since Emile kissed him and seared his mortal blood into ichor, his veins run cold as ice. He had never thought he would hear that voice again, but he never forgot it, either.

“It is you, right? You are Remy?”

Remy takes a deep breath, a breath he no longer needs, and turns around.

Theseus is exactly as maddeningly handsome as Remy remembers. He is built like a marble statue, and Remy knows all too well the way his muscles feel beneath his fingertips, the way his rough curls feel tangled in his hands, the way his mouth feels as he bites kisses along Remy’s neck and jaw. He stares into the sea-green eyes of the first man he ever loved, the man who abandoned him on that island all those years ago, and feels something inside him shatter.

Then he feels that something harden.

“Theseus,” he says coolly. “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long,” Theseus breathes. He reaches a hand towards Remy, as though to cup his face. “Gods, Rem, I’ve missed -”

“Don’t,” Remy snaps. Theseus recoils sharply, snatching his hand back as though burned by celestial fire. “Don’t touch me.”

“Rem -”

“Don’t call me that, either. You lost the right when you abandoned me on that island.”

“Rem, listen -”

“Listen to what? I loved you, and you used me. You used me to beat the labyrinth and slay the Minotaur, and for what? I abandoned my home, my family, my life for you, because you promised me a new life! Well, you certainly gave me one, but it wasn’t what you promised!”

Remy’s hands are shaking with anger, and he curls them into fists.

“Clearly you did okay,” Theseus murmurs, taking a step forward. Remy takes a step back. “You made it to Elysium. To Paradise. That means you must have been a hero when you were alive, and that means that we can spend eternity together. I have all the time in the world to apologize to you and make up for what I did, we can start over, we can -”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

Remy raises an eyebrow. “I mean no, Theseus. Did dying rob you of your ability to comprehend language, or did you lose that while you were alive?”

“I - I don’t understand. I thought you said you loved me?”

“Yeah, I did. Loved, past tense. You honestly think I could still love you after what you did to me? Or do they omit you marooning me for dead on an island when they sing the tales of your adventures?”

Theseus flinches, and Remy wonders if he is being too cold, too harsh. Then he remembers the bleakness of waking up on the island alone, the struggle to escape it and save himself, and decides that he is not being harsh enough.

“I messed up, okay?” Theseus’s voice is smaller than Remy can ever recall it being. “I - I was stupid, and full of myself, and high on the success of my mission and - and I thought -”

“You thought what, Theseus?” Remy prompts, when it becomes apparent that Theseus does not intend to finish the statement. Theseus looks at the ground, scuffing his sandal against the path. “You thought what, Theseus.”

“I thought, why should I be tied down to one prince when I would have the world at my fingertips? I didn’t want to take myself out of the game after only seeing one kingdom.” Theseus has the decency to look ashamed of himself, staring at his feet.

Remy laughs, bitter and mirthless. “So I really do mean nothing to you, then.”

“No! I loved you, I love you, I just -”

“Save it,” Remy snaps, “you dense motherfucker. You know nothing about what love is.”

“And you do?” Theseus challenges. “I was stupid, yes! I made a mistake, and I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have left you like that - even if I did change my mind about marrying you, I shouldn’t have left you on an island to die! I should have had the courtesy to at least drop you somewhere populated! But the gods granted you a life in Paradise because you helped me with the labyrinth, and now we can be together! I spent the rest of my life regretting that decision, Rem, you don’t understand -”

He reaches forward to touch Remy again. His fingers close around Remy’s wrist, and Remy steps backward, yanking his hand from Theseus’s grasp.

“I told you not to touch me!” he snaps. Theseus gapes, like Remy has suddenly sprouted a second head, which confuses Remy, because immortality may have changed him but he has always been a firebrand. “And I told you not to call me Rem, and could you be more self-centered?!”

“What?”

“I’m not in Elysium because I helped you, and I certainly didn’t die on that island. I built a raft and I sailed to the mainland and I saved myself, without any help from you or the gods or anyone at all! But I did meet a god while I was on that island where you abandoned me.”

“A god?” The indignation brewing in Theseus’s face morphs to concern, suddenly. “Did they hurt you?”

“Emile would never.”

“You - the god of madness?”

“The god of the mentally ill,” Remy spits, because no one dismisses or diminishes his husband. Not while he’s around. “He came every day, and he always offered to save me or to whisk me away, but he never did. He let me save myself. And I did. And then we got married.”

“You - you married -”

“That’s right. I married a god. I married a god, and he set my wedding crown among the stars, and he -”

Remy stops. He takes a deep, calming breath, the way Emile taught him to, and when he opens his eyes again there is still fury there but also a calmness, one that only time could grant him.

“I married more than a god,” he says. “I married someone who understands me. I married someone who loves me, someone who wakes up every morning and looks at me not like a tool to be used or a prize to be won but as a complex individual who deserves to be treated as such. I married someone who wakes up and looks at me like I am the greatest god damn treasure that has ever existed. I married him, and I had three children with him, and when I died he loved me so much that I was granted an afterlife in Elysium. He loved me so much that he came all the way down here to plead with the god of the Underworld to have me back.”

Remy’s voice drops to a whisper, because he knows that it will break if he doesn’t. “He loved me so much that the god of the Underworld said yes. He loves me so much that he made me immortal.”

“You’re . . . what?”

“I didn’t get here when I died because of you, and I’m certainly not here for you now,” Remy says. “I’m here because my children were heroes, and they’ve been granted a hero’s respite, and I want to visit them.”

Theseus is dumbfounded. He opens his mouth repeatedly, but no words come out. Remy takes a grim satisfaction in that. “I suppose I should thank you,” he says coolly.

“Th - wh - huh?”

“Yeah, I should thank you. Because if you hadn’t marooned me on that island, I never would have met Emile. Your poor judgement and honestly shitty personality led me to meet the love of my life - the love of my existence. I know what true love looks like because of Emile, and I know what it most assuredly isn’t because of you. So thank you, Theseus. I hope you have a good afterlife.”

Remy turns his back on Theseus, heading once more towards the palace. He hears footsteps speed up behind him, hears a painful, angered cry of “Remy, wait -!” and feels a hand begin to close around his wrist again, but then the hand is gone and there’s a sudden swoosh of air.

Remy turns sharply on his heel to see Emile, standing between him and Theseus, holding the stunned hero by the wrist. “I believe,” Emile says, in a voice that manages to be cheerful and deadly and threatening all at the same time, “that my husband asked you not to touch him.”

Theseus jerks his hand away from Emile, who simply smiles at him. “You should be more respectful of other people and their boundaries,” he tells him. Remy cannot see Emile’s expression fully, but he can easily picture the smile on his husband’s face. It appears perfectly normal and calm, but something slightly manic lingers at the edges, something dangerous, something decidedly inhuman.

“Shall we go, my love?” Emile asks, turning his back on Theseus and kissing Remy. He kisses Remy softly, gently, and Remy melts against him. Emile’s hands press against the small of his back and the back of his head as he leans forward, and Remy leans back. He knows Emile will keep him from falling. He trusts Emile with every fiber of his being.

“We shall.”

flower meanings!

pink carnation: i miss you; you are unforgettable red carnation: admiration; i miss you red rose: love; i love you heliotrope: eternal love honeysuckle: bonds of love blue hyacinth: constancy of love morning glory: affection

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@ab-artist

@a-lexicon-of-words

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#starshinewrites #remy sanders #emile picani #remile #logan sanders #roman sanders #logince #tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors #a gift for vi!#i love you sm babe i hope that you like this

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journeysintowebcomics · 5 years

Text

Worm Liveblog #114

UPDATE 114: Simpler Times

Last time the Undersiders had managed to defeat Coil, and took over Brockton Bay as a result. Dinah is now safe, and all is well...until forty-five minutes later, when they found out Noelle has escaped her vault. Tattletale says that’s very bad. So let’s continue!

Ah, the arc ended, and it seems what follows isn’t an interlude, but a new arc. I’m surprised – while I thought it was possible the arc would continue for maybe one chapter more, I didn’t think this would go straight into the next one. Alright! So, the new arc is called Migration.

Oh, nevermind, this is an interlude, similar to the one with the Wards ages ago, I imagine. There’s a guy called Francis, who is getting scolded for leaving when family is coming over. This Francis person is making money with something his mother doesn’t approve, and he argues they’re on the verge of getting a sponsorship. Oh boy. ‘On the verge’ means it’s not certain. I hope this Francis guy isn’t gambling much on the possibility of a sponsorship. Given how he’s arguing with this as his cornerstone, he’ll be doomed if he doesn’t get the sponsorship.

It’s even worse when it’s revealed this Francis guy isn’t officially in the group yet. Oh dang, he really is gambling a lot. I for one hope it all works well, because otherwise he’s going to get a full serving of ‘I told you so’ from his mother.

That seems to be all. Having placated his mom, Francis walks with his luggage and gets on a bus, giddy he’s possibly annoying other people, and feels smugly superior to other people. Well that’s not an endearing character trait, is it. Still, someone having a bad trait is good, as long as it’s balanced with good traits! But yeah, who is this Francis guy, anyway?

Her face lit up as she saw him. He, in turn, snapped a smart salute. “Captain Noelle, ma’am!”

Oh, I see! I see now! So that’s Noelle...hmm...if Noelle is part of this gaming group, then that’d mean the Travelers are the members of this group. In which case this Francis is either Trickster or Ballistic. Most likely Trickster, I’d say. Alright!

Noelle doesn’t appreciate the playful greetings, coyly telling him to stop, and mentions they’re ‘probationary boyfriend and girlfriend’. So they’re a couple! I see. That’s why Trickster is so invested in Coil helping Noelle. I can sympathize with that, yep. During these outrageously saccharine public displays of affection, Marissa arrives. Mars. Sundancer, no?

I wonder if by now they all had their powers. Maybe they gathered as a gaming group because of their powers. Not that I can think of how they can use their powers. Making miniature suns sure isn’t going to help your gaming skills, unless you use that sun to melt the opponents’ systems, haha

There’s Luke, there’s Jess. Hmmm...by process of elimination, those must be Ballistic and Genesis – supposing Francis really is Trickster. They’re all together. Say, wasn’t there some guy named Oliver, who stayed in the headquarters while everyone else went and fought? I think there was someone with that name. That person hasn’t appeared yet here in this meeting.

Now that they’re all gathered, they can start their discussion for real. Noelle is in charge. Does that mean Trickster – leader of the Travelers – was the second in command, and had to take charge since Noelle can’t?

Apparently they have been discussing about kicking an average player out of the group, because he’s boring and doesn’t have as many fans. Francis, on the other hand, has so many fans – fans I imagine would be upset if he’s kicked out or something. If they’re a new team, then they’ll need as many fans as they can. Pragmatism dictates the person named Cody is kicked out. The emotional factor, though, is what’s giving them trouble. Cody is their friend and this will hurt him a lot.

Noelle nodded. “Say what you will about Krouse, like how he’s crap when it comes to calling shots-”

“Hey.”

“Or even the fact that he’s prone to ignoring orders if he thinks it’ll help us. Um, he’s right so long as it’s just him operating solo, but yeah… The thing is, if we’re talking about the big picture, international recognition and going head to head with the best in the world… Krouse has the natural ability to change things up, so we can adapt our strategies to whatever they’re able to pull off.”

Okay, that definitely is Trickster. Trickster’s pretty crap at calling shots, and adapts well enough during the fights. The main character point of view is Trickster’s.

To try to convince them he’s the right person to keep, Francis argues on his behalf, saying this Cody person can’t improve any further, while he can still play better and better. They can’t wait for Cody to improve; they have to act now.

“If you fuck this up for us, you know we’ll never let you live it down,” Luke said.

It’s not like they’ll lose a local tournament. If Francis screws up, they’ll lose boatloads of money and lucrative contracts. Many would think that warrants a little more than ‘never let you live it down’, hah.

Either way, Francis’ arguments were successful. Pretty much everyone agrees to kick Cody out and keep Francis. This can’t be easy to tell Cody, who will do it? Having decided it needed to be done now, they all walk towards the place Cody is at, and it’s decided Francis won’t be right there when Cody is given the boot. Yeah, good idea. It sure would hurt to be replaced and see the guy replacing you sitting right there.

Jess and Francis ride the elevator afterwards, Genesis noting Francis is rather nervous right now.

“The more overconfident you act, the more nervous you are. And when you’re feeling down, you poke at people, provoke them. I think you get some validation out of it, like, if you can test people and they’re still your friends after, you can feel confident in that friendship.”

Well, there’s also that Francis enjoys annoying people, apparently. I guess a lot of his behavior is all about needling and annoying other people.

I’m a bit baffled they keep saying Marissa can be a megabitch. She sure seemed like the person least likely to be abrasive towards other people. Maybe she’s the kind who yells into the voice chat.

As expected, Cody didn’t take it very well. They barely got off the elevator when they started hearing the yelling, Cody is accusing Francis of being a conniving prick who started dating Noelle after she was named captain. Hm. I don’t know, I don’t think he’d be that slimy. Francis is a hella unpleasant person, but is he that much of a jerk? I don’t think so.

There’s two people named Oliver and Chris. Ah, there’s Oliver. What’s Oliver’s role in all this? It doesn’t seem like he’s part of the gaming team, so...is he just a friend who tagged along? Is he with them all because he had a power and therefore fit in the Travelers, while Cody and Chris didn’t take part in that villain team because of the lack of powers? Or perhaps...perhaps Cody and Chris are dead? There’s not that many options as to what happened to them. For all I know, they just were left behind while the Travelers...traveled. It doesn’t have to be a sinister deal.

“Cody,” Noelle started, “We talked it over-”

“Without me!”

“Because we knew you’d react like this, and we wanted to be sure we all agreed before we moved ahead.”

“And I bet Krouse was there, wasn’t he?”

“He was.”

“Real fair.”

“He kept his mouth shut,” Noelle said.

Not exactly true, Krouse thought.

He’s got a point there, that wasn’t exactly fair. Francis got the chance to argue on his behalf, Cody didn’t get that courtesy. I don’t know, seems to me like they all had already strongly considered accepting Francis into the team, before the meeting started.

As expected, Cody is furious to see Francis here. He really shouldn’t have come. A few lines later, I’m proven wrong, he should be here. So, what’s happening is that they’re going to have one session right now. If Francis does awful, then he’s out and Cody stays. Obviously Cody wants to see Francis crash and burn. I think it’s a given what the result of this all will be.

“Here, Noelle,” Krouse said. He set his luggage flat on the ground and unzipped it. There were computers inside, each half the size of a regular desktop, wrapped in layers of towels and plastic sheeting.

“Thanks for the loan. Don’t trust mine with the sheer amount of crap my cousin downloaded onto it.”

“Actually…” He trailed off, sticking his hands in his pockets. “I took my old machine, I replaced the power supply, formatted it, installed a clean OS and done all my usual tricks for clearing out the crap that we’ll never use and optimizing it. You can consider it an early Christmas present.”

Say, doing this right in front of Cody’s not going to make him stop thinking Francis is trying hard to get on Noelle’s good side to get the spot in the team.

What follows is largely paragraphs of stuff I’m not sure what to think about, because it’s them discussing their strategies to play the game. The only thing I can comment about is that Chris and Oliver are like the reserves, although neither of them are very good. Francis used to be one of them.

The strategizing stops when the building rumbles, and a blackout happens. They barely have time to wonder what’s going on and complain about the blackout when there’s a moment of weightlessness.

A heartbeat later, the windows were directly overhead, and he was falling. He started to scream, but he managed only a monosyllabic, “Ah!” before he fell onto the side of the dining room table, tumbled to one side and slammed into the chairs, the wind knocked out of him.

It sounds like the room turned 90 degrees all of a sudden, fast enough for his body to not even feel how the floor tilts and everything goes topsy-turvy. Perhaps it’s the work of a villain?

Francis was lucky enough to be able to look around and get away from immediate danger, Noelle wasn’t so lucky. She crashed onto a chair, and then the computers fell on her. That’s got to hurt, those aren’t soft objects at all. There’s no word on how the rest are like, but they must currently be being pelted by objects. I hope they’re protecting their heads, but I’m kind of expecting a fracture or two.

Noelle is so hurt she’s bleeding from the nose and mouth, that sounds kind of like a concussion. I wonder if that affected anything in the present. But hey, you know what? All that’s happening right now is a good chance for trigger events, especially because soon it’s revealed Chris is dead. What about Cody, he okay?

Since the apartment has turned ninety degrees, leaving to a safe place is going to be rather difficult. Is this apartment the only thing that rotated? What’ll they see if they manage to get to the entrance door? Hmmm...also, what caused this? There’s a mention of a constant female scream. If it’s not one of the gals who are still awake and conscious, is it the parahuman who caused this to happen?

It takes a few minutes to be able to reunite with the rest, thanks to a knotted sheet. Francis manages to climb it even though he’s carrying Noelle, reaching the place with the rest. Chris had quite the gruesome death, but at least it sounds like it may have been instant. Everyone except Marissa is trying very hard not to look at it.

“We need a way out of here first.” Luke looked up at the windows, ten feet above their heads. Neither the floor nor the ceiling offered anything to grip.

Since it’s a window that’s on what’s now the ceiling, and it seems like this apartment was on the top floor, it’d give them access to the very top of the building, no? Hm...that’d be almost impossible to go down from, unless what turned ninety degrees was the entire building – which isn’t that unlikely, but I imagine it’d cause quite the commotion outside, enough for them to hear screams and panic.

It takes some effort, but they manage to get up there. It’s pretty cold, which is bad when you’re already injured and in shock. With some luck they’ll find a safe place, but yeah, they have to get help as soon as possible.

He stared out at the city around him. Snow had been stirred into clouds, and half a dozen buildings had obviously been knocked down, judging by the remaining wreckage. Luke’s apartment building had toppled. How did it not collapse in on our heads?

Oh! Alright, the entire building did fall down! I know this is a rough situation, but given how suddenly and quickly it happened the people inside didn’t even have time to notice everything was tilting, I keep imagining the building just...turned ninety degrees in the blink of an eye. It’s such a cartoonish mental image.

The state of the building is the least of their concerns, anyway. They have to do something to survive the current problem. The constant scream isn’t helping. Soon they find the source of the song, and here is when I get giddy. There she is!

“The Simurgh,” Jess corrected, her voice small. “What is she doing here? Why is she here?”

Oh boy, that makes two Endbringers seen in the story. No, the Simurgh interfering with Dragon’s communications didn’t count, that was too brief. Only one is left! Knowing Mr. Wildbow, it’s bound to happen at some point!

Francis’ suggestion is to run, which although is a sensible reaction and definitely what anyone should do, I don’t think it’ll be of much help. Good thing it’s guaranteed most of the people here will survive to be the Travelers. I suppose the city will be destroyed and, having nothing left and no family to go back to – ouch – they turn into their nomadic lifestyle? Also, Cody is so dead. I suppose something the Simurgh does will lead to his demise.

This is a bit of a short update, but I have to end it here.

Next time: next update

#worm #worm liveblog #webserial #liveblog #webserial liveblog

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swiftzeldas · 5 years

Note

does it bother you that It utilizes the bury your gays trope?

hi! thanks for asking this, because you’ve given me the opportunity to do my favorite thing in the world, which is analyze my favorite media

short answer: a little, but not really

long answer, under the cut. please keep in mind that this is just MY interpretation and if you WERE bothered or hurt by the portrayal of gay people in the IT movies i’m not saying you’re wrong, you’re perfectly within your rights to feel that way and i get where you’re coming from. remember that this is just, like, my opinion, man

so firstly i want to say that i’m not a book purist by any means, films and books are different mediums and changes have to be made to make a book work as a movie, so i don’t get too ruffled by changes, but one thing i’ve never liked is when a film version changes who lives or dies. i’ve never liked that Haldir dies in the LOTR movies and i refuse to see the film version of My Sister’s Keeper because they changed which sister dies in the end, thereby changing the meaning of the ENTIRE STORY. so….i don’t like when movies change which character dies. i think someone needs to die in that scene in IT, and i actually think (you’re free to disagree) that that is a solid conclusion for eddie’s story arc. the only other character it could make sense to kill off at that point in the story is MAYBE bill, and that just wasn’t gonna happen

anyway, my next point is that whether or not this was the right decision (and i don’t think it was fwiw) eddie isn’t canonically gay in any version of this story. richie is, in It Ch2, but eddie is still left up to interpretation. it’s hard for me to view a version of this story where i DON’T interpret eddie as gay, but the fact remains that the subtext in the novel was unintentional by Stephen King, and Andy Muschietti chose, in the films, to leave it ambiguous. like i said, it’s pretty clear TO ME that eddie is gay, but many, many people have read It and had different interpretations. so on that note i’m not even sure this QUALIFIES as bury your gays.

i do think eddie is the most blatantly queer-coded character in the book, fwiw, for a multitude of reasons. i’m surprised richie is the character they chose to make Canonically Gay - though i wonder if it’s bc richie would feel less stereotypical?

like….do i WISH richie and eddie could be together? yeah, i do! at the same time, though, i see a lot of people thumping on about how richie is the only character to get an unhappy ending and i have a lot of problems with that. i mean, are we gonna pretend the rest of the losers didn’t love eddie?? bullshit. they did. they’re all grieving for him, and for stan, who’s still dead btw people seem to forget about that?

i think people tie richie’s eventual happiness too much to eddie. it’s true that richie’s adult life has been largely unhappy, but his childhood wasn’t. he dealt with bullying, yes, he dealt with a killer clown, but of the Losers, he and stan probably had the happiest home lives. (in the book i think richie’s dad is like, a nice dentist or something like that.) i think people are undermining the amount of happiness truly accepting oneself can bring, and richie has reached that point by the end of It Ch2. and then i hear people complaining that richie can never find happiness now because eddie, his soulmate, is dead? to which i say….let’s be realistic here. again, i wish eddie and richie could be together but to say that a 40-year-old man’s soulmate is the person he had a crush on when he was 13, and the only way he can be happy is if he can be with him….i think that’s not only unrealistic but also damaging. there’s a whole world out there, kids, and it’s not going to end if you don’t get to marry your first crush. richie will be okay - and hell, eddie would be FURIOUS with him if he put his whole life on hold just because he’s dead.

i’ve also seen arguments that richie would just be depressed and want to die after the events of It Ch2, including and mostly because of eddie’s death, and i just don’t think that’s true either. i think right after eddie died there’s probably a moment in richie’s head that’s like “oh my god i wanna die i wanna lie down right here and die with him” but, like, fleeting. richie’s entire THING is how badly he wants to live. his fight with bill in the first movie is because bill keeps putting the Losers in danger and richie is like FUCK YOU BILL I DON’T WANNA DIE. he tries to leave derry in ch2 because this is too dangerous and he doesn’t want to die. richie simply does not want to die. i would feel FAR more cheated and wronged if richie died than eddie.

which, btw, brings me to why i think eddie’s death was an adequate way to end his arc which i know is probably the MOST controversial thing i would ever say so skip this paragraph if you don’t wanna hear about that. it’s not that i’m not sad that eddie dies, i AM, it’s TERRIBLY sad, but all the same, didn’t eddie have a terribly sad life? he grew up under the thumb of this overbearing mother who convinced him he was weak and sickly, and grew up to marry a woman much like her. (btw - based on the book i don’t think eddie’s wife myra is actually the awful abuser a lot of people portray her as, though the movie’s portrayal contributes to that. i think myra is a very anxious, needy woman who married a man who made those traits worse, whose own anxious and hypochondriac tendencies were worsened by being married to her. they’re just very very wrong for each other and that doesn’t make myra a villain.) i think eddie’s ending was him finally proving to himself just how brave he really is, that he’s not weak or too sensitive, or any of the things he’s always been told he is. eddie dies a hero’s death and for his character, for his arc, that’s fitting. in the book, he’s not even particularly upset. Not bad, he would begin. This is not bad at all (King 1086). i don’t mean to say there was no hope for eddie. not at all. he could have lived, he could have gotten out of his marriage and channeled his newfound courage and bravery into living a new life….but if he has to die, and i think someone should in this story, that’s the way to go. hero.

on the whole, i thought what IT Ch2 did in terms of sexuality was….really great. anybody who follows me knows that horror is my favorite genre, but i have always understood that it’s not a genre that is particularly friendly towards any marginalized group, whether that’s by race, gender, or sexuality. i felt SEEN by It Ch2, and i felt like these stories mattered to the filmmakers. at the end of the day, richie lived, and he’s going to KEEP ON living, and that’s important

#ask #it tag #long post #i hope the read more works lol #anon #Anonymous #text post

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royal-loki · 6 years

Note

starting to watch these movies for the first time cause I stumbled on thor/loki and i thought the dynamic was adorable. when is the point where the two stop acting like assholes to each other?

I literally stared at this question for like 10 minutes because I am so dumbfounded by it.

I don’t know if you’ve watched all the Thor films in order yet but if they weren’t assholes to each other then they wouldn’t really be Thor and Loki.

Think of it this way, Loki gets upset in Thor: Ragnarok because Thor becomes indifferent to him (well not really but you can read my full analysis of the elevator scene here). Loki would rather be hated by his brother than have Thor feel nothing for him.

Their relationship is the most striking in all of the MCU because they constantly push each other away yet there is always something drawing them back together.

You also have to consider how Loki has on one hand always wanted to be Thor’s equal while at the same time constantly living in his big brother’s shadow. Loki’s jealousy was the catalyst for the events that happened in the first Thor movie. Was Thor an asshole to Loki while they were growing up? Yeah, probably. Thor isn’t a malicious character but his hubris and innocence makes him oblivious to how those around him feel.

Was Loki an asshole to Thor? Yes. Loki’s (justified) anger about being lied to his whole life by their father drove him to attack Midgard. It was just that he was adopted, it was that he could never live up to his golden brother’s standards.

When the brothers were fighting on the Bifrost we find out why Loki is so frustrated to the point of tears.

Loki: “Is it madness? Is it? IS IT? I don’t know what happened on Earth to make you so soft! Don’t tell me it was that woman?… Oh, it was. Well maybe, when we’re done here, I’ll pay her a visit myself!”

Loki took out his wrath on Earth because that’s where Thor discovered the one trait he was lacking - empathy.

I always saw it as “How can your own closest kin, ally and friend that you’ve known your whole life not make you be able to see the flaw in your impetuous nature but a mere mortal you barely know could?”

Of course Loki felt heartbroken, he loved Thor more dearly than anyone but his own brother would cast him aside for a woman he had only known for a few days. I would highly recommend watching Thor 1 because it was the only movie that gave Loki a complex character arc.

Thor did come to understand how he has wronged Loki but it was already too late for Loki to stop the Chitauri army from coming through the wormhole and destroying Earth. Thus, by the end of The Avengers, Thor feels like Loki betrayed him (unaware of how Thanos forced Loki into their unwilling alliance). Even though Thor could just leave Loki on Earth to deal with the consequences of his crimes, he brings him home - Thor’s mission from the very beginning.

Yet, Thor can’t stay away from Loki. He rescues him from the dungeons to help him defeat Malekith. There were many other actions that Thor could have taken to fight the Dark Elves but he wanted Loki to be by his side. Their reconciliation was a cathartic moment for the brothers because they both realized that their petty squabbles were nothing compared to the love they’ve had for centuries.

Despite Loki “faking” his death (it was written as real), it was obvious that Loki was willing to put his life on the line to save Thor just as Thor risked his life by having their father use Dark Magic to come to Midgard and find Loki as soon as he heard he was alive.

Thankfully, Thor 3 fixed a lot of the angst that still plagued the franchise. Taika did not make Thor furious at Loki for impersonating the Allfather. Instead, he was relieved that his brother was still alive, and didn’t try to throw him back in the dungeons like he promised in Thor 2.

Thor: Ragnarok really laid open their dynamic in a very meta way to show the audience that it wasn’t just going to be the same old Thor movie - Thor tries to get Loki back, Loki fights him, Thor mourns Loki, rinse and repeat.

Thor: That looks painful. Dear brother, you’re becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me, round and round in circles we go. See Loki, life is about… It’s about growth, it’s about change, but you seem to just want to stay the same. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’ll always be the god of mischief, but you could be more. I’ll just put this over here for you.

I love this line from the movie because Taika wanted to stop their dysfunctional relationship and have them just love each other. The movie ended on a very sweet moment with Loki finally being with Thor without any illusions or tricks to act as a barrier between their emotions.

Unfortunately, Infinity War brought back the turmoil by having Thor say “You really are the worst brother.” as his last words to Loki before his brother is killed.

We’ll see what will happen in A4 but for now we are left with Thor distrusting Loki and Loki lying to Thor about having the Tesseract. Back to the same push and pull dynamic.

So anony, they will never really stop being “assholes” to each other because that’s what drives the plot along. It’s what keeps us invested in their relationship. They are totally and completely in love but fate is always try to tear them apart. This is why Thorki is the most compelling ship in the MCU.

#ask #thorki

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flightfoot · 6 years

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The “Trials of Apollo” fanfictions of grace--the-fangirl: A meta-analysis review

While I was working on that Meg & Artemis comparison analysis post, it struck me how similar my Artemis portions were to the fanfics by a certain prolific ToA writer - @grace--the-fangirl. She’s written almost a dozen ToA fics, mostly centered around Apollo’s and Artemis’s relationship. She’s really made the two characters her own, playing up certain character traits - like Apollo’s vulnerability and Artemis’s protectiveness - in order to emphasize the little brother/older sister aspects of their relationship, and to provide some fantastic hurt/comfort goodness!

While all of her Artemis’s are fairly similar, there are some minor differences between them. Most of them take care of Apollo when he’s hurt or in danger immediately, giving him a hug and support, such as when Hyacinthus was murdered in “I Loved Him And Now He’s Dead”,

Artemis knelt next to me. She opened her arms, offering a hug. I don't deserve her kindness. I don't remember accepting the hug. I practically lunged at her. I don't remember burying my head into her shoulder. I couldn't face her. I couldn't face him. But suddenly I was in her arms. She held me tightly. She wasn't judging me. She cared. She was holding me.

Other times she doesn’t realize just how much Apollo needs her, until something really extreme happens, and she realizes just how much Apollo has been hurting, how much he’s needed her, that she hasn’t seen. In Zeus Broke a Sun God, while Apollo is breaking down in front of her, he makes this confession:

When you comforted me I was so confused. I didn't understand why you cared about me so much... I mean I KNEW just… I wasn't really great off right then mentally… Arty you never really acted like you cared much if I was sad… “held me as I sobbed” so to say.. I've.. I've had my share of shitty moments and you didn't ever pick up on that fact… sometimes I really needed you and you just waved me off… so I was surprised in the least… kinda..” Artemis avoided his gaze. But finally she spoke “When did I..?”

“Hyacinth…” he whispered. Artemis felt a pang of recognition. Oh “I Just… I really needed you and you said something like “Apollo you’ve had hundreds of lovers how is this one any different” and that just tore me apart inside… but that's the past and.. And I forgave you for that and it doesn't matter any more” Artemis was speechless. She suddenly felt horribly guilty.

This Artemis WASN’T there to comfort Apollo for Hyacinthus’s death, at least not right away. She didn’t have the people-reading skills she needed, to tell just HOW MUCH Apollo was hurting at that time... but she knows now, she’s helping now. She cares just as much for Apollo in the previous story, but her “perceptive skills” dial is turned down slightly in comparison, so she just doesn’t REALIZE how badly he needs her.

Sometimes, though, her own rage and sorrow can blind her to just how badly off Apollo is. When Apollo tricks her into shooting Orion in “His Fault”, she’s SO angry, and SO broken over Orion’s death and Apollo’s role in it, that she convinces herself that Apollo DESERVES the pain and agony he’s clearly feeling:

So she one sided iris messaged him. Apollo was sitting on a stool, he was shaking and sobbing. His shoulders quaking like the ground when Poseidon was angry. Good She thought. Apollo dug his nails into his cheeks and left golden trails down his cheeks. His breaths were fast and uneven. She didn't care at all . He deserved this. He killed Orion. (She had pulled back the string. She had released the Arrow. She had m u r d e r e d him) waved her hand through the rainbow. He was suffering. Good. He deserved it. (Not her fault not her fault not her fault)

Even when she sees him mutilating himself, stabbing himself, that she considers that maybe she needs to talk to him. But she fools herself into thinking that this was a one-time thing, since she’s still angry, and just... doesn’t want it to be true.

Artemis did this many times and only just missed Apollo hurting himself. Until the time she didn't leave. It had been 8 years since they had spoken, and she one sided iris messaged him. Apollo had the dagger in his hand, Artemis watched him carefully. He took the thing and stabbed it through his palm. (The hand that pointed at Orion before she shot. His hand) Artemis watched in horror as he kept doing so. Again. And again. When he finally stopped there was a pool of ichor under him. His hand looked like swiss cheese. He growled and threw the dagger, before he fell to his knees, cradling his hand to his chest. “I deserve this” He growled. “I hurt Artie.” He clenched his jaw and retrieved the dagger, forcing himself to pick up the weapon with his mutilated(maimed, mangled, butchered) hand.

[...]

Artemis stared at the place the rainbow had been, she momentarily contemplated going to see Apollo. But her resolve hardened. It wasn't like he did that often.

How wrong she was.

It’s not until her anger cools, and she sees Apollo truly on the edge of being gone forever, that she finally gives him the comfort he needs.

Artemis had finally decided to speak with her brother again. He had suffered for a decade and the sun was starting to dim. She found him standing next to Chaos staring into the abyss with this accepting(resigned, sad, calm, b̸̢̡͠r̶̡͞o̢͟͠͞k̨̕͏̶ȩ̴̡ņ̛̕͜) expression, one of his feet fizzing out of existence. She froze. She didn't know what Apollo was thinking or doing THAT close to Chaos, but it couldn't be good(it was bad. Very very bad.) . She called his name, simply intent on getting him as far away from the darkness(void, abyss, infinity) as physically possible. She didn't like her brother much right then, but being that close to the void was extremely dangerous(hazardous, perilous, risky, treacherous, unsafe). He turned around, shocked and surprised. His eyes were dull and lifeless. She didn't realize that.

She led him away from there. They both knew they needed to have a serious chat…

[...]

“Ar-Artemis?” He murmured, his voice shaking. She pulled him into a hug. He froze. His entire form rigid.

“I don't forgive you, but i'm willing to let it go” He gasped and she felt tears soaking into her shoulder. He tried not to start sobbing he really did, but he couldn't stop himself and suddenly he was in Artemis’s arms and sobbing. His shoulders were shaking with effort and she wasn't pushing him away. “I love you Apollo.. And you're an absolute moron.. But i love you”

Even now, even as angry as she’s been, she can’t stand to see Apollo disappear. Because regardless of the universe, she loves him, and even at her angriest, she’d NEVER want him to disappear. Every Artemis will always comfort Apollo, if she realizes how much he’s hurting. That’s the bedrock of Grace’s characterization of her.

In some portrayals, (one in particular), Apollo isn’t the only one in need of comfort. While Artemis may be the main one who tries to stay strong and be the emotional rock, she still has her own emotional needs. She feels like she can’t show her vulnerability, like she has to hide how much she needs comfort. Of course, that’s when Apollo steps up.

“Oh, Artie…” His voice was quiet, concerned. “May I come in?”

I tried to respond, but all I managed was a choked whimper, so I just nodded.

Apollo took a step inside, closing the door behind him, and guided me to the nearest bunk, we sat with a dull thud.

“It's okay.. We’ll be okay.. We’ll regain our immortality. I promise.”

I only managed a shaking sob.

He scooted closer to be, rubbing my shoulder.

This is the last thing I wanted… and what I wanted most.

I didn't know what to think.

Him being here… I didn’t want to worry him. He doesn’t need to worry. I’m fine.

I’m not fine.

I’m NOT fine.

I felt like something broke inside of me, I sobbed into my hands.

Apollo pulled me into a hug, I let him. I buried my head into his shoulder. (The Hidden Oracle Plus One, chapter 17)

Artemis can TRY to be Apollo’s rock, but she’s a person too, with her own emotional needs. Apollo may need her comfort more often, but sometimes, she also just needs someone to hug her as she cries and tell her that everything’s going to be okay. That crying, being upset, being afraid, it’s all OK. That she’s not alone, she doesn’t have to go through this by herself. It shows that she’s not invulnerable. She’s a person too, and when she needs someone by her side, Apollo will always be there for her. They take care of each other. It’s just that, in most of Grace’s fics, Apollo needs to be taken care of more than Artemis does. Since in THOP+1 Artemis is nearly as vulnerable as Apollo is, it’s one of the few chances to see Apollo comforting Artemis.

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Of course, you can’t talk about Apollo & Artemis’s relationship without discussing Apollo too! Unlike Artemis, Grace’s Apollo is basically the same in all her stories. Only his circumstances change. He always needs Artemis, and is devastated whenever she’s mad at him, like in the earlier example where she’s furious with him over Orion, or in one of her earlier stories, “Alone”, where she’s just not talking to him for some petty reason, presumably not realizing just how much it would hurt Apollo. Without her, he starts spiraling into depression, convincing himself that he’s awful.

He wanted Artemis. He wanted his gods forsaken sister. He wanted her right now and he felt horrible for wanting that. The one thing in this world he wanted most was for his sister to reassure him he wasn't in fact a (worthless) failure at being her brother, at existing, at everything. He so desperately wanted her to tell him that he wasn't horrible.

This sentiment holds true throughout all of Grace’s fics, though how much he truly KNOWS that Artemis cares for him varies from fic to fic, based on the Artemis in question.

“3 things Apollo can’t make himself tell Artemis” summarizes this nicely, since it’s set in the same universe as “Alone” and “His Fault”

Apollo never could say how much he needed Artemis’s approval. How much he wanted her to just tell him he was good. How he needed her to assure him he was doing okay. That he wasn't failing or just horrible in general.

If any of Grace’s Apollos don’t have their Artemis by their side, they do very poorly. Luckily, Artemis usually catches on that Apollo needs help, even when he tries to hide it, such as in Five Python Related Incidents, after he’s had a nightmare about Python. He’s tried to hide how badly the fight with Python affected him, but Artemis knows. And she comforts him as best she can without being intrusive.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Apollo freezes caught red-handed. “I- I mean of course you did. That's a stupid question..”

Apollo wiped furiously at his eyes with his free hand.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked quietly.

He shook his head. No then.

I nodded. “Okay. You don't need to… You want a hug?”

Apollo shook his head.

“Okay…” I squeezed his hand gently. He had tears slowly rolling down his cheeks.

He’ll tell me about Python when he’s ready.

If he’s ever ready.

Others CAN comfort Apollo and help him, but it’s fairly rare that he’s with people who he feels comfortable opening up to besides Artemis. It only really happens in one of Grace’s fics: Astraphobia: The fear of lightning. Here, Apollo is flying in a plane with Will, Austin, and Kayla as a thunderstorm rages. He starts having flashbacks and panic attacks, and his kids catch onto why he’s having them.

“Does- does Zu-” she cut herself off. Better to not alert him. “Does he ..?” She didn't finish her sentence. We all knew of which he she was referring too. She sounded terrified. Like she feared my answer. “Hurt you.” Will finished for her. “Does he, or has he ever hurt you” There was a sad look in his eyes. The same sad look Artemis gets in her eyes whenever she finds me sobbing. It had been a long time since I had pissed off Zeus to the point of him blasting me, but the threat is always there. Looming over me like a cloud of pure pain and anguish. I nodded weakly. I would tell them the entire story later. I couldn't right now. Not without making myself start sobbing. “Oh gods…” Austin mumbled, looking green. He looked at me like he was only first seeing me. I lowered my gaze to my shaking hands. “it… it was a long long time ago” I muttered, my voice trembling. “..Still, doesn't make it right..” Kayla murmured.

Unfortunately, Apollo just doesn’t have a lot of people he feels like he can open up to, show his vulnerable side to. Still, when he does, they support him. I especially like that Kayla affirmed that even though it was a long time ago, it “doesn’t make it right”. Apollo really needs to hear that. That what Zeus did - what he still threatened to do - was WRONG.

Grace wrote another, somewhat similar story, called “Lightning Storms and Emotional Baggage”. In this one, Artemis IS there. It starts with Zeus blasting Apollo for a simple mistake, and continues onto The Lightning Thief, when Zeus is furious over his lightning bolt being stolen, and is causing lightning storms everywhere. Artemis finds Apollo. He’s afraid that she’ll call him what he calls himself: weak.

“Sorry.” I murmured, I couldn't meet her eyes. More thunder, my hands started to tremble. She wasn't supposed to know. Artemis looked at my hands, before she realized, apprehension dawned in her eyes. I waited for her to call me weak. For her to laugh or make fun of the fact that thunder actually terrified me.

If I could go back, I would tell myself to tell her sooner. Artemis would never, never make fun of me for somthing like this. Ever.

Grace’s Apollo tends to think that everyone thinks of him the way he thinks of himself... which isn’t too different from canon, honestly. But he’ll always open up to Artemis if pushed, even though he’s terrified. And whenever she knows the full depth of his feelings, she’ll comfort and protect him.

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As is probably apparent by now, Grace almost always writes these two in hurt/comfort fics, with Apollo being emotionally and sometimes physically hurt, and Artemis providing comfort - though she does have a handful of hurt/little-to-no-comfort fics, such as “Zeus, the worst father in all of eternity. Wait no, that's Kronos. Zeus, the SECOND worst father in all of eternity.”, which basically just shows EXACTLY how Zeus strips Apollo of his immortality, and the previously mentioned “Alone” and “His Fault”. Grace is EXCELLENT at these hurt/comfort fics - as should be obvious from reading even just the excerpts I’ve included in this analysis. I really want to examine in more detail WHY the hurt/comfort she writes works so well, by examining the fic she’s written that’s the best example of it - “Zeus Broke a Sun God” (In case you’re wondering why that one in particular, instead of any of the other fics I’ve mentioned: most of the others are too short, at 2000 words or less, or are “The Hidden Oracle Plus One”, which is a bit too long for me to analyze in full, isn’t complete yet, and has to fit Grace’s hurt/comfort around the canon plot, so it’s not as good an example for this. Also, “Zeus Broke a Sun God” is my favorite of Grace’s stories and I wanna analyze it. So sue me.)

“Zeus Broke a Sun God” is actually an AU of Grace’s first TOA fic, Zeus, the worst father in all of eternity. Wait no, that's Kronos. Zeus, the SECOND worst father in all of eternity. That one’s required reading for properly understanding “Zeus Broke a Sun God”, since it documents the actual torture that Apollo underwent before “Zeus Broke a Sun God” began, with Zeus capturing Apollo, and burning him with greek fire. Constantly. For months. With no ambrosia or nectar. Until he was mortal, and was ready to be thrown out of Olympus, and start ToA. “Zeus Broke a Sun God” starts shortly before the process is completed, 5 months in.

The story starts off with short, snappy sentences, with each sentence on a different line.

Artemis was scared for her brother.

It had been nearly 5 months since he had been seen on Olympus or otherwise.

Zeus refused to tell her his whereabouts, or even a hint towards his location.

But Artemis knew that wherever he was, he was hurt….

...And that Zeus was causing it.

For about a month now, she could hear an... echo, of sorts, of his voice just.. begging Zeus to forgive him.

He sounded terrified and small .

She could practically feel his despair.

Artemis had had enough.

He was sobbing for her.

Begging for her to come find him, save him.

She had to find him.

It wasn't a matter of choice anymore.

Separating the sentences out allows each one to be emphasized and processed as a different idea, really driving home EVERYTHING each sentence is trying to convey. It’s very useful for eliciting an emotional response, which Grace definitely succeeds at here. She separates out a lot of sentences for this story. Whenever she clumps them together, she tends to be trying to convey a single concept with those sentences, such as here:

Apollo didn't move. He just sat there staring at her, looking more terrified than before. “Y.. You came…” he murmured, his voice shook. His eyes were wide. He looked at her like she wasn't real, like he was just imagining her.

The description of Apollo here conveys how SHOCKED he is, using multiple sentences to drive home how broken and disbelieving he is. Putting the sentences together tells the reader that they all have a common thread like this, some core “thing” that binds them together, and makes them more effective together, instead of separated out like the others around them are.

For another example of this:

She looked at him quizzically, he nodded violently. This was the most forward reaction he had had to anything she had said. He still hadn't spoken a single word to her other that the repeated thank you’s and the thing about her coming and Zeus draining his newly regained immortality again.

Again, a core idea is conveyed: that Apollo is traumatized and broken enough that he can barely speak.

The short, separated sentences are also very effective for conveying more tense scenes, like when Artemis takes Apollo up to Olympus to confront Zeus:

When they arrived in the throne room, Apollo was basically clinging to her.

When Zeus saw Apollo, thunder rumbled and he looked absolutely livid.

Apollo was shaking.

Zeus shouted something, but it was lost to the loud thunder.

Apollo’s grip on her arm tightened.

Zeus raised his master bolt, Artemis felt no fear. She was going to protect Apollo.

She watched as Apollo flinched back and covered his head.

Anger rushed through her.

She wrapped an arm around him pulling him next to her.

The sentences are quick and flashy, the narrative equivalent of a series of fast cuts in film, letting the reader easily keep track of the actions, though not actually showing much action each time.

After the bout of short sentences, gradually Grace starts stringing more of them together as the tension lessens, allowing the reader to relax a little:

“You need rest Pollo” Artemis said. He shook his head violently. Artemis sighed, and stood up he grabbed her arm. “.....Don't leave….” He begged. She frowned “i'm crossing the room.” He didn't let go.

She looked at Thalia helplessly, before pulling away.

She went and got her box of Stygian sleep from the truck near the wall, She opened it carefully and Apollo’s eyes widened as he recognized it. Before he could pull away he had breathed it in. He fell forward into Artemis’s waiting arms with a whimper.

“Shhh….. Your safe now Pollo… Go to sleep…” He shifted for a moment, trying to fight the spell. He couldn't. He murmured something unintelligible and passed out. Artemis set him down on the cot, smiling sadly.

The immediate danger has started to pass, and every sentence doesn’t need quite as much emphasis now. There’s something of a sense of relief in these sentences.

Oh, dialogue also tends to be separated out, but that’s to make it easier to keep track of who says what. Different reason, so it doesn’t count for this.

Of course, whenever short sentences return, the tension starts rising again, as every sentence is drilled into the reader’s head:

Artemis felt sick.

A few seemed to be seriously infected.

Artemis once again felt anger bubble inside her.

Gods didn't GET infected wounds.

You can FEEL her disgust and anger here, through just these short, blunt lines.

When Artemis comforts Apollo again, the sentence clumps - they’re short enough that I don’t know whether they actually count as paragraphs- return.

She wasn't all that surprised Apollo was appearing like this, just.. Shocked. It had been years since he looked 12. She sat next to him and draped her arm around his shoulders.

He relaxed a bit when she did this. “You want to talk about it?” she inquired. He shook his head a no. “Okay… Apollo.. Do you want anything?”

“..n..nectar..” he choked out. He just couldn't get himself to talk right now.

“Apollo you're a god, you can just will nectar into existence,” Artemis said quietly. “You are NOT powerless. You can summon your own Nectar Pollo... So don't act like you can't” Apollo stared at her, then summoned his own nectar.

There’s still a lot of tension and emotion in these lines, but it doesn’t feel like something’s about to snap, like when she uses those short sentences.

Finally, after a time skip where Artemis helps Apollo recover, full paragraphs enter the story.

Ever since Artemis had rescued Apollo, nothing was the same. Apollo was different. Artemis spent a few months trying to help him recover, but it was like she was speaking to a statue for a few weeks. Yes no maybe, he didn't talk much. And he clung to her presence. She was starting to understand what Apollo meant when he used to try to explain why he was protective of her. Just the need to protect.

Apollo wasn't on Olympus often, and had one of his godly sons run his chariot. Only actually riding in it a few times a week at most. He spent most of his time alone or with Artemis and her hunters. He didn't harass them. He didn't even look at them. The hunters saw this, and some of the oldest hunters already knew something had happened to him the moment he showed up in there camp…

Since everything here is in past tense, there’s not much tension present, so full paragraphs and long sentences work well, especially since this is a bit of an info dump, catching the reader up on what happened in-between scenes, so the story can resume and not leave the reader confused.

Oh, and not to forget the actual content here, I really love this whole part of the story, where Zeus blasts Apollo again:

13 years after the giant war, and Zeus ruined everything. He had crushed any trust he was regaining in his father. He had blasted Apollo with his Master bolt, and it would take him weeks to reform. If he wanted to. If he was hurrying. His consciousness shattered into billions of pieces across the earth. When Hermes went to tell Artemis, she went into a panic. She knew Apollo wouldn't want to reform. That he would stay scattered for as long as he could….

[...]

It had been three months since Zeus vaporized Apollo, and Olympus was unusually quiet. Artemis was out searching for fragments of her brothers consciousness to try to convince him to hurry the fuck up. And then she found one…

Artemis was walking around a city when she felt the faint presence of her brother. Despair was the only emotion she felt from him. She felt sick as she searched for it, trying to contact him. She managed to form a weak link with him. “Apollo!” she yelled into the void that was her brothers fragmented mind. Artie She heard him whisper. His voice scared and small. Distinctly younger that normal. “Come back Apollo, you know you can't stay in this state forever. There's no point.” ‘m sorry “Just come back” do I ‘ave to? “Yes you idiot” it's ‘ard tho.. Don't wanna ‘ome back.. Only make things worse “No you don't. And I miss you, I know it's hard but you can do it” okay fine

A small form phased into existence in front of her, flickering and sort of staticy. She latched into him and pulled him into an embrace. His form solidified and he sagged against her. He didn't appear to be much older than 8 or 9. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him into her. The younger Apollo looked, the worse he felt. He sobbed into her, and she just held him. Eventually she brought him to her tent with the hunters and he fell into a fitful sleep there, with Artemis curled up next to him.

I especially loved the dialogue from Apollo, it really showed how miserable and tired he feels, and it fits his younger form well. The regression is a good way of showing how powerless he feels, and how much he needs protection. Artemis makes sure that he gets that protection, and tries to make him feel safe.

Gradually the story moves to more pure comfort at the end, with Apollo confessing what Zeus did to him, absent any major new trauma. Hearing HIS side of that whole sequence was really heartwrenching, and also gave some nice context to the earlier scenes where Artemis rescued him. Plus we get Apollo actually SMILING. After everything he’s been through, reading about that brilliant smile of his was really heartwarming!

And I especially love the ending scene, where Apollo analyzes Artemis’s relationship with him, and sums it up nicely:

“The tides have turned dear sister. For most of our existence I've always been the one who was protective of you.” She gave him a sour look. “I still am.. but you are being protective of me now.” Artemis nearly choked on her nectar. Apollo smiled at her.

“I am not!” Her voice was quite a few octaves higher than normal.

“Yes you are. You feel like anything that goes 10 feet of me that could possibly be dangerous needs to be destroyed at all costs because I'm your brother and my safety is important and you will destroy anyone who attempts to hurt me.”

Artemis opens her mouth to protest but he’s right. Her cheeks flushed. Apollo laughed, an idiotic grin on his face.

“You probably feel insurmountable rage whenever Father comes into the conversation. Whenever I feel sad you just want to coddle me. Because I'm your…” Apollo visibly cringed. “little brother” Artemis stared at him, a smile making it's way across her face.

“FINALLY YOU ADMIT IT! I'M OLDER!” She whisper screamed triumphantly. Apollo groaned. “I mean yes, your assumption is correct. I am protective of- oh fuck it IM OLDER. YES.”

“Artie-”

“I love you little brother” She smiles brightly at him, and reaches over and ruffled his bright blond hair. Apollo’s cheeks were bright red. He hated this. But honestly, his entire mindset had been shattered by Zeus and everything that had occurred since the giant war. He hardly saw Artemis as his younger sister anymore, only as his equal.. And that was him denying that he saw her as older. He would still defend her honor with his life, and brutally murder anyone who harms her, but their entire twin dynamic that developed over millennia was different now. Neither twin minded much. Change wasn't bad after all.

There’s such a sense of hope and relief here! After all the tension earlier, it’s finally released, and catharsis is achieved. It also nicely sums up the relationship that Grace typically tries to portray between Apollo and Artemis.

Of course, that’s not QUITE the end of the fic. There’s a chapter two, which allows another sort of release, with Apollo coming to terms with his own feelings, and finally getting to vent at Zeus.

Apollo was done forcing himself to appear happy. He was done forcing himself to smile and to pretend everything was okay when he felt as if everything was falling apart around him. He felt scared and terrified and anxious and tired. But for the first time in what felt like eons he didn't feel so cripplingly alone. Artemis was willing to speak with him about anything, She didn't just laugh him away and mock him anymore. She loved him. He knew she loved him. He didn't have to pretend that he was happy, (a great improvement actually) because no one expected that of him anymore. He could sit quietly on a bench and no one would look at him strangely. He resented the “ what's wrong with you” look. He hoped he would never have to force himself to act so overwhelmingly fake again. He could just go talk to Artemis if he wanted, but right now he was content to sit here. He didn't feel like someone was choking him while he sat here in public. He wasn't expected to be how he was before. He wasn't seen as cheap entertainment good for a laugh but not much else. While he still felt scared and nervous.. He felt less stressed and caged and fake .

It’s a relief to read about him feeling better, a release to read about how, although he still doesn’t feel great, at least he doesn’t have to pretend to be OK on top of that, and at least he knows he has someone he can confide in, who will always be there for him. It’s melancholy, but hopeful, and kinda peaceful.

And then Zeus comes in to ruin Apollo’s day.

His actual question is presented fairly mildly... but the answer is anything but.

I have noticed an extreme difference in your personality. I would like to inquire why.”

Apollo stared at him, before he burst out laughing. A broken depressing sound that shocked Zeus.

“Of course father. You torturing me for months certainly didn't do this on its own, no. For hundreds of years i forced myself to act happy. To pretend i didn't want to just sleep and scream at how worthless i am. I pretended for years that nothing was wrong with me. That I was okay! That the optimistic sun god didn't want to curl into a ball and sob because i'm too horrible to save a single person i love from death! That I was okay. That maybe if i acted if i wasn't hurting i wouldn't hurt as much. That i wouldn't be so alone. Maybe if i pretended i was okay then it would happen. Well whoop dee doo father, you torturing made me realize i don't give a single fuck about that facade and that maybe, just maybe if i just let myself break then someone might care enough to wonder if, i don't know, good ole opti-fucking-mistic, cheerful, never down Apollo needs someone to make sure he isnt drunk out of his mind and sobbing on the floor of his apartment because no one gave a shit about him? You all just figured that you could say whatever the fuck you want and i didn't mind? Just leave me alone. I don't want to deal with your stoic bs about how you torturing me was for the best and that how you finally got me to crack after years of false cheerfulness. Great job. You managed to break the wall i built around myself for years in 5 short months! Great job father! Now just leave me alone.” Apollo snapped, glaring at his father.

Apollo finally gets to vent here, for both himself, and the reader. We vicariously experience his same grief and rage, and satisfaction now that it’s finally out, that Zeus finally knows. It also shows the reader more of what Apollo was feeling, reinforcing the sympathy we have for him.

Of course, Zeus doesn’t take too kindly to this, but Apollo manages to get away before he can blast him. He and Artemis go to safety on Delos, and have one last talk, where Apollo reinforces just how LONG he’s been suffering, and Artemis is just... THERE for him. She won’t leave. And she makes a promise on the river Styx:

Artemis sighed and squeezed his shoulder. “I promise to protect you from father. I swear it on the river Styx that I will do my absolute best to protect you from father. You will NOT become mortal any time soon or EVER if I have anything to say about it. Okay Apollo?” She announces. Thunder rumbles in the distance, sealing the deal.

This last promise of protection is the climax of the story, leaving the reader with the certainty that she will try... but the trepidation of knowing that she might fail. Still, she’ll be there for him, and will never stop trying to protect him. It’s a melancholy, but hopeful note to end on, much like the last chapter... though there’s a tinge of anger this time around, lingering from Apollo’s earlier rant, and from the knowledge that Zeus might try to take out his anger on the people precious to the Twins.

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Grace is a great writer, and I’m really glad she got the ball started on ToA fics! Seriously, I don’t think they actually existed before she came around (not counting Solangelo fics, which could often be categorized as HOO fics instead.) Her Apollo and Artemis are interesting to read, and even if they differ from canon a bit, they’re great characters in their own rights.

#trials of apollo #grace--the-fangirl #my analysis post #flightfoot #apollo #artemis #fanfiction #I hope you like this!#Finally finished it!

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