Tumgik
#i know I made so much mistakes so don’t @ me :
i-am-hungry-24-7 · 2 days
Text
[Hey, how are you?] Simon Riley*F!Reader
Ten years ago, Simon lost you due to his mistake, and he meets you again after these years of regret.
Hurt and comfort, Happy Ending
“Are you married?”
He always be asked when others see the ring on his finger.
“No.” He answers while taking another sip of his wine, letting the person realize it’s a topic they don’t have the authority to dig in.
He still remembers the vow he chanted as he put the ring on your finger.
The memory is as clear as the day you left the house, and he never saw you again.
It’s his fault, you didn’t shed many tears when he yelled at you, saying that you will never be able to free him from his nightmares, who do you think you are? a fucking philanthropist?
He knew he screwed up everything the moment his taunt escape his mouth.
No, No. I didn’t mean to say that, I need you, I love you, please don’t leave me.
He watched you lower your head, trying in vain to hide your sadness, but your heart was already shattered into pieces, by him, the man who promised to protect you by any means.
I’m sorry.
The words stuck in his throat when he looked at you stepping out the threshold with your belongings.
Please stay.
The greedy wish was buried inside his heart when you stopped for a second. “Bye, Simon. Take care.” you whispered, and disappeared into the aisle.
Ten years, he’s still unable to move on.
He brainwashes himself repeatedly, she will have a better life without you.
Yet he still opens his phone every time he finishes his therapy sessions, looks at your number, and just stares at the screen for minutes.
His thumb lingers on the “call” button but never dares to press it.
Hey, are you doing alright? I’m sorry, I want you back. I went to therapy after that day. I’m not the same person caged in his past anymore.
I miss you so much.
but how selfish he is if he interrupts your life now? Such a nice person like you deserves someone to cherish you nicely, and treasure you with their whole heart.
That’s why he now stands afar from you, watching you behind the veil of autumn’s breeze.
You’re still stunning, time doesn’t deprive your beauty even a bit.
He gazes at you for a long while, and when you turn around and spot him, it’s obvious that you’re in shock and come to a halt.
The world keeps moving, but the time seems frozen between you two, as you both set eyes on each other and never dart.
You head towards him as he starts hesitating to take the first move.
“Hey.” You look at him with a shallow grin on your face.
“Hey.” He mumbles.
The silence fills the air, but no awkwardness, he’s just too indulged in your presence, which he has been dreaming of for years.
Sorry for that day. How are you doing now? Have you married? Have a partner?...
He has too many things he wants to ask, but his thoughts are like matted wool, until his eyes land on the ring on your finger.
“You’re marrie—“ He questions without a second thought, but the words get cut off instantly due to his realization.
because the ring is paired with the one on his finger right now.
It’s not until you chuckle that he’s back to reality.
“Yes, I’m married, about ten years ago? to an idiot man.”
“Why did you marry him? he’s a bloody dork.”
“Good question. or maybe that’s the reason why I married him.” Shrugging, you then meet his gaze with a smile “How about you? Are you married?”
“Yeah, ten years ago, to a woman that’s too precious for me, so I lost her.”
“If you meet her again, what do you want to tell her?”
“I’ve improved. I’ve reached for help and now I’m not the same man anymore.”
“Anything else you want to say?”
“I miss her every single day, and I hope I can have her in my arms again.”
“Well, I don’t know about her.” you step closer to him. “But I’m sure she will love to have some tea with you as her first compensation from you, what do you think?”
He blinks at the hand you reach out at him, and slowly, he takes it into his palms, that’s befitting to drive away the chill.
Your hand fits well in his, like it’s made for him to serve it with all his warmth, and he’s sure that he will never let go of it again.
“My pleasure.”
a/n: lemme give Simon a fucking punch/j
416 notes · View notes
worldofkuro · 2 days
Text
Painted Smile
Painted Smile VII
<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ->
Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader
Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.
Notes: 4913 words... I don't know what happened. I'm so tired, it's 1 am but who cares, I needed to drop the new chapters. I really hope you'll enjoy it dears ! Tell me what you think of it! Because I'm dead tired there might have more mistake than usual, I'll check it out tomorrow.
“ And then I kind of kissed him through the blanket.”
You stared as Alice squealed with delight, bouncing on her seat in front of you. You were in your living room,sitting on your sofa, your Mother was out which made you alone with your friend. You just finished telling her what happened two days ago and she seemed delighted while you were… confused. At that moment you didn’t even think, you just… went for the kiss. It wasn’t even a kiss, your lips didn’t touch! You just felt the blanket!
“ And then ? And then ? Don’t leave me hanging, tell me what happened next!” begged Alice while she was squeezing a cushion against her chest. You turned your head toward the chimney’s fire. You were the 20th of December. Christmas was around the corner and then Alastor’s birthday…And you still didn’t have any ideas for a present ! You sighed, you were losing against the clock… “ Hey, are you doing alright ?”
“ Oh, sorry Alice, nothing happened after. He… reassured me and then he went home. But the problem right now is that I don’t have his Chrismas’s present… I don’t even have his birthday’s present!”
“ He was born on the first of January, right ?” You nodded and she tilted her head backward, thinking about a present for your friend. You almost scoffed, you trusted her but if YOU couldn’t find a present for Alastor, how could she do it? “ Hey, before I forget, I asked my parents if I could celebrate Chrismas’s Eve with friends and they said yes!” she clapped her hands together. “ You should come, and bring Alastor with you !”
Going to a soirée with Alastor..? You looked at Alice. She was indeed the daughter of a rich family but she wasn’t like those pompous people who thought they were better than anyone. She was open minded. She made friends with everyone, white people, coloured people, everyone.. And you were surprised her parents were okay with it. Maybe they weren’t closed minded people?
You kind of wanted to see Alastor in this kind of environment, you have never seen him all dressed up since you were kids. It could be fun ! But would he agree ? You could almost hear his voice saying he didn’t want to leave his Mother alone for Chrismas’s Eve.. You didn’t want to leave your mother alone either– Wait, that was it! You would invite Marie to pass Chrismas’s Eve with your Mother and you and Alastor would go to Alice’s soirée and then celebrated Christmas in your own house with Alastor and her mother!  
“ From your smile, I guess it is a yes?” asked Alice with a grin. You winked at her before standing up.
“ It’s a maybe… I don’t know if Alastor would want to come.”
“Mhn.. If he doesn’t want to come, tell him that John will be there.” she said with a teasing expression, like she knew something you didn’t. You raised an eyebrow at her, suspicious.
“ Alice… Did you talk with Alastor when he walked you home?”
“ Oh! Actually yes, he is the one who began to talk. He asked about our relationship, he seemed very protective of you, it was cute!” she beamed as she giggled. You blushed, looking away. “ But you think he would not like a party?  He seemed like he would be the star of the soirée!”
You did know that. Alastor has something that made people want to approach him. He was almost seventeen but he already had so much charisma, he was a proper gentleman. You weren’t blind, you could see more and more young ladies turn their eyes on him when you were walking outside. You wondered if he was aware of it? If he was, he never made a deal of it, he would just smile back at them if they happened to catch his eyes. 
You wondered how ladies would try to approach Alastor. You’ve known him for eight years, so you weren’t impressed by him anymore, if you wanted you would just jump on his back because you were tired and he would carry you home just like. No questions asked. You smiled without noticing, people might have found Alastor difficult to approached but for you, it was as easy as breathing.
You kind of wanted to see people trying to approach Alastor now…
“ Well, I just have to convince Alastor.”
~~
“ I’ll be delighted!”
You blinked, turning your head toward him. He was laying on the tree’s foot, seeming to be reading a book as you were sitting on the swing. It was snowing today, but you both decided to stay outside for a change. The forest was pretty hidden under a white blanket.
You went to Alastor’s house after parting ways with Alice. You did pay attention to the people around, but you didn’t see any man that would be stalking you. You were sure, if there was a stalker, that he would stalk Alice, not you. But Alastor has made you promise that you would pay attention so…
“ Really? You would like to come?” you smiled as you let the swing go, walking toward him. He put his book down and looked up at you with his usual grin, he really seemed excited about it! 
“ Of course dear, going to a soirée with you holding on to my arm? How could I refuse? And I’m sure my Mother would be delighted to celebrate Christmas’s Eve with your mother, as long as we celebrate Christmas with them.” he sketched before sitting up. He tilted his head and you couldn’t help but laugh as you saw a few leaves and snow on his hair. You sat next to him and began to take the leaves out of his hair. In two seconds, Alastor was laying back down on the grass but this time his head was on your thighs. He took his book back and continued his reading as you stroked his hair, looking at the sky.
What kind of dress would you wear? You never went to a soirée before, you needed to look your best, you wanted to impress Alastor. You’ve never really put too much thought into what you wore, you’ll have to ask Alice for advice… You wondered how Alastor was going to show up..
“ Alastor, what are you going to wear?” you looked at him, still playing with his hair, how could his hair be so soft to the touch? He didn’t move his gaze from the book, answering you with a teasing smile.
“ Why? ”
“ Come on, I was just wondering… I don’t know what kind of dress would suit me, I have never been to a fancy soirée. I’m scared of being… underdressed. “ and you didn’t want Alastor to be ashamed of you because of your poor choice of outfit. He stayed silent for a minute and then tilted his head backward on your laps so he could stare into your gaze.
“ Red suits you.” 
You stared in his eyes, the sun made them look almost caramel like. He was so lucky to be this handsome, really ,and he wasn’t even a full grown man yet. You pouted, looking away. How unfair.
“ Well, thank you, does that mean that the only color that suits me is red and I look awful with any other color?” 
“ Oh I didn’t say that. I just want to see you in red.”
You looked at him and couldn’t help the smile sketching your lips. Well, if that’s what he wanted. You took his book off his hands, which he let you do, still looking at you. You put the book next to you, on the grass. 
“ Do you think you'll be able to keep up with me if we have to dance ?” you teased him, raising an eyebrow. His eyes widened before he roared with laughter, holding his belly. You chuckled at his reaction, you knew that Alastor was an amazing dancer, you just wanted to hear him laugh… 
“ Oh my dearest friend, if we happen to dance, trust me, I’ll make it so you wouldn’t be able to walk for some days.” he winked at you with a confident smile. You laughed out loud, throwing your head back.
“ And I’ll make it so you wouldn’t ever consider another partner!” he took your hand in his with a soft smile, caressing your skin. You looked up as you heard someone coming and your eyes met Marie’s. She smiled softly at you, saying it was time for you to go home, she didn’t like you going home at night and didn't want you to catch a cold.
Alastor stood up, before taking his book. You stood up with his help, said goodbye to Marie’s and went back home with Alastor. Since the “stalker” evenement, he didn’t want you to walk home alone. You rolled your eyes at him but at least you could stay with Alastor a little while longer, so it was worth it. You walked together on the road of New Orleans, watching at the shop vitrines if it could give you some ideas for Alastor’s gift.
“ Hey, Alasto-”
You screamed as your foot slid on ice. You felt yourself falling before Alastor wrapped his arms around you and tugged your body against him before gracefully dancing around the freezed road. You stared at him, your eyes wide opened as he made you spin on the freezing floor, but you never fell, he was moving your body, like it was another part of him. You began to laugh happily. You let him take control of your body, letting him make you dance as he wished. Not too long after he made you drop, your head almost touching the ground. You stared at him as he held you firmly, your breath coming in short puff. He was staring intensely at you with a satisfied smile.
“ No matter what, I’ll always catch you if you fall.”
You smiled at him as he straightened you before offering his arm to you. You took it, as you kept walking toward your home and of course, as always, he leaned in to give you a kiss on your forehead before leaving. You stared at him until you couldn’t see him anymore and then you decided to enter your home.
“ Mom~ What would you think about celebrating Christmas’ Eve with Marie~?”
~~~
“ This is a disaster Alice !” 
You fell on your bed,head in your pillow ready to scream bloody murder. You haven’t found a single red dress that suited you. You hated every single dress you had tried ! And Alice’s soirée was tomorrow night ! You didn’t know what to do with your hair, with your makeup and you still didn’t have anything to wear ! 
“ I see… Well, it seems like it’s my time to shine ! Look what I’ve got you !” She took a bag from behind her and put it in front of your bed. You lifted your head from your pillow and opened the bag. Your eyes opened as you saw a beautiful black and red flapper dress. Your eyes were wide open, you’ve only seen this kind of dress with the riches folks. You stared at Alice, your mouth wide open without being able to put words together. “ I know you will look delicious like this, come on, try it on so we can find makeup and hairstyle to go with it!”
“ We can see my legs !”
“ We’ll wear stockings, don’t worry ! It’s almost 1920’s, come on!”
“ We’ll be in 1917 next month!”
“ That’s what I said, come on now!”
You undressed yourself before looking at the dress. It was very pretty and it was shining with so many sparkles… You dressed up and put on some heels and then you looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked… like a woman. You really liked the dress… you moved around a bit, it was comfortable, you feel like you could dance with it! You could feel the flapper moving against your thighs with each movement. You blushed a little and looked at Alice who was staring at you with stars in her eyes.
“ Ooh, yes! You’ll look perfect ! Don’t worry, I’ll have some similar dress, you’ll not feel left out! Now, the makeup and the hairstyle my friend~.”
Oh dear.
~~~
It was the day. You were in front of your mirror. You were wearing your dress, your black heels, you had put a red lipstick on your lips and a bit of mascara. You were so nervous. What if Alastor found you absolutely ridiculous ? Oh you couldn’t live with the humiliation. You heard your door open and turned around to see your mother, staring at you with teary eyes.
“ Oh sweetheart, you look… Breathtaking, your father would be crying…” She went into your bedroom and hugged you which you immediately reciprocated. 
“ I don’t look stupid ?”
“ Baby, no. You look like a grown woman! Oh, how time flies…you're already sixteen...” she smiled before you heard someone ringing at your door making you tense. It was Alastor, you were sure of it. Your Mother smiled at you before winking and then she left you bedroom, going downstairs so she could open the door. You tried to hear what they were saying but you couldn’t hear anything…
You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror.
“ Come on girl. You’re going to an amazing soirée and you’ll enjoy every single second of it, okay?” you nodded at your reflection. Great.
You sighed and then left your bedroom. You took a deep breath and then began to walk down the stairs, your heels making noises against the wooden stairs. You heard Alastor and Marie’s voice getting closer. You saw your mother at the bottom of the stairs with an encouraging smile. 
“ Alastor, come closer, there she is !”
You heard his shoes before finally seeing him.
Oh.
He was beautiful.
His dark hair was slicked back, he didn’t have his glasses on, he was wearing a dark redded suit and he was holding a bouquet of flowers in his right hand. He was staring at you, his eyes wide open. You both stood there, without talking or doing anything else. You took a shaky breath before walking down the stairs until you were in front of him, thanks to your heels you were face to face with him. He was still staring at you with a straining smile. Did he find you ridiculous, did you try too hard? You kissed him softly on both cheeks and you heard him gulp. What was happening to him?
“ Alastor, please say something…” you begged, looking down.
You felt his hand on your face, raising your chin up so he could meet your gaze. His smile was softer and his eyes still had this intense glint that made you relax.
“ I told you, red is our color.” he smirked before giving you the bouquet. You grinned as you stared at the beautiful flowers in front of you and then you looked at Alastor’s eyes. He didn’t even once let his gaze move away from you, it made you feel warm. You smiled brightly as your mother took the flowers from you, putting it in a vase. 
“ You both are so beautiful, but leaving before being late !” Marie said just after taking a picture of you. You took a long coat that hid your figure before leaving with your arm around Alastor’s one. 
“ I can’t wait to be there ! “ you said excitedly. You were still feeling nervous but Alastor by your side, it was getting easier to just be excited about this party. You felt Alastor grip your arm tighter as you walked into a busy road. You tried not to bump into people, and after a thirty minute walk, you find yourself in front of a huge house. Was it a mansion?
You knocked on the huge door and a butler opened the door, eyeing suspiciously but before you could even your mouth you saw Alice running toward you. She was wearing an outfit similar to yours, as promised, but hers was white and blue. She looked almost angelic.
“ You made it ! Come, come, come inside!” 
You walked into a huge reception room and there were already so many people inside. The butler took off your coat making you feel a little cold, so you just stayed against Alastor who put his arms around your shoulder. Alice introduced some of her friends, you could not remember every name, there were too many. Did Alice really know all of them? Some of them looked like real adults, and was that a band that was getting ready? You went with Alastor toward the buffet.
“ Well, what do you think of it so far?” you asked him with a tired smile. He took a drink and sniffed it before putting it back. “ What?”
“ Be careful, some of the brevage have alcohol,” he said before leaning against the wall.” but I’m not surprised. Your friend seems to be the type to always go big.  Being able to pull off this kind of soirée with a war going on? I’m almost impressed.” he said before straightening his tie. 
“ Alastor, is it you?”
You turned to the voice and saw a beautiful lady. She smiled sweetly at Alastor who gave her his usual smile. Who was she? She began to talk with Alastor, ignoring your presence. You tilted your head, it was the first time someone came straight at Alastor with you next to him. She seemed so confident, you almost envied her. Almost. You were a polite girl, you wouldn’t interrupt them but you didn’t want to stand next to them too long, it would get boring quickly. You took a drink from the buffet and sipped it. It was sweet, you wondered what it was. You smirked, you could already imagine Alastor’s face at the disgustingly sweet brevage you just had.
You should prank him. You took another cup and turned toward Alastor before being startled by the band who began to play music. You almost dropped the cup, that was a close call.. You looked at Alastor who was being dragged by the lady toward the dancefloor. 
Wait what? 
You stared at the scene in front of you, as Alastor began to dance with her.
What?
“ Oh, who do we kill before Christmas?” You turned your head toward Alice who was trying to see what you were watching. “ Oh… Oh, yes. Jealous?”
“ No! I’m just .. surprised. I didn’t know Alastor had other female friends.. Come on, let’s dance.” you finished your drink and dragged Alice who eagerly nodded. 
You both danced with each other, smiling. It was fun! The band was playing some good tunes! She gave you a spin who landed you into someone's arms. You looked up and saw John, your school’s mate.
“ You look beautiful like this…” he said as he admired you. You nodded with a confident smile. You didn’t know why but you felt like the most powerful woman right now! He smiled at you, before looking away shyly. “ Care to bless me with a dance?” You laughed, so formal. You took his hand and danced with him, keeping your eyes open to match his steps. You did stop him from lifting you in the air though, you didn’t trust him to keep you up in the air but thankfully he didn’t take it badly.
You took a look at Alastor and couldn’t help but frown. He was dancing amazingly, as always, spinning the woman before tugging her against him. You pouted, you thought he only did that with you.
As the party kept going you were getting more and more agitated. Why was Alastor still not dancing with you? You didn’t know why, but most of the time you were a good girl but when Alastor was included, you could become the worst brat ever. You walked toward the buffet, took another drink and went toward the band, you needed to look confident. You spoke to the singer and he smiled before making some place for you. He placed the microphone in front of you and asked you what song you wanted to sing.
You smirked and asked for a song you and Alastor’s used to dance on when you were younger. You were watching the crowd, took a deep breath and began to sing. You stared at Alastor who was dancing with another girl but once he heard your voice he turned his head toward the scene , where you were standing. You couldn’t feel but something in your belly, just like that his attention was back on you. You saw the girl trying to keep his gaze on her and you smirked. Not today.
Today you were selfish.
You sang like there was no tomorrow, the crowd clapping their hands with the rhythm of the song, you didn’t think you ever sang this good. You had perfect control on your voice, you were even dancing on the stage as the band were giving their all with you. You looked at Alastor who was still dancing with the lady, even if you could see he was getting bored. Well, you could help. You began to sing with more energy, the band making the rhythm faster as well. You could feel your lips sketched into a mocking smile as you saw the girl not being able to keep up with Alastor. Perfect.
You went down the stage , still singing. The crowd parted for you and you couldn’t help but feel excited. You walked toward Alastor, he had his back on you. You slided your hand on his back making him flinch. He turned his head toward you with a surprised expression. You grinned at him, singing before smoothly taking Alastor away from the girl. You both were encircled by the crowd but you didn’t care. Alastor and you danced, never breaking eye contact. You kept the rhythm as fast as you could, every step was nailed, every spin. You would have your back against his chest and then he would spin you so your face was inches away from each other. And then Alastor lifted you in his arms before throwing you in the air. You closed your eyes, feeling perfectly safe. He promised he would always catch you if you were to fall.
You fell down in his arms, your head near the floor but never touching it. You felt his breath on your lips and you opened your eyes, staring right back into his gaze. He was sweating and so were you. You were holding his shoulder, breathing hard. You were both alone in your own world. 
And just like that, the spell broke as the crowd cheered for you. You blinked and Alastor straightened you up with a genuine smile. You grinned at him before you both bowed to the crowd. You went back to the stage, giving back the microphone before going to the buffet, you needed some fresh water.
“ Oh my Lord, you both were.. I don’t even have the words!” squealed Alice as she shook you by the shoulders. You laughed at her reaction , it was just you being petty because Alastor wasn’t paying attention to you.
“It really was amazing.” John said as he clapped while you were drinking a glass of water.
“ That’s what happens when you let us do our things together, let that be a lesson folks.”  Alastor said as he put his arms around your shoulders.  You nudged him but couldn’t contain your laughter. You were having a great time.
You had other dances with Alastor, before people were making little group. You were sitting on a table with Alice,John,Alastor and other people you dind’t know. You didn’t know why, maybe they drank some alcohol but the conversation which was proper began to turn toward something more… spicy?
“ You’ve never kissed before? Hoho, you don’t know what you are missing.” said a lady to John who just blushed. The lady stared languidly at Alastor. “ And you, pretty boy? Have you ever kissed someone ?”  You were ready to tell the lady to back off, you didn’t want her to embarrass Alastor because he didn’t have his first kiss.
“ Yes, I have.”
Huh?
“ Oh, I’m not surprised. And you sweetie?” you felt everyone's eyes on you and you blushed. Even Alice had already kissed someone !
“ N-no, I have never.”
“ Well, why not remedy it tonight, just before Christmas ! John, was it, why don’t you kiss our adorable singer right here?” you flushed even more as John was looking at you, seeming hesitant. 
“ As if my dearest friend’s first kiss would be with such a boring fella, no offense my friend.” said Alastor sarcastly.  You frowned, why would he care! He already had his first kiss and he didn’t even tell you. You stood up.
“ I need some air, I’ll be back.”
You took a sip of your glass with the sweet juice and went out, in the garden. You heels hit the paving stone as you try not to burst out of… of what? sadness? angryness? You sighed as you stared at the stars in the sky, you felt the snow falling on your naked arms. You could even see the air you were breathing.
“ You are going to catch a cold.”
You turned your head toward Alastor as he took off his blazer, ready to hand it to you. You shook your head.
“ No, I needed… I need the cold air.”
“ Why did you lie ?”
“ Pardon?” you turned your body toward him as he took a step toward you.
“ About your first kiss.”
“ I didn’t lie, I’ve never kissed anyone. And unlike you, if I did, I would have told you but Mister Alastor doesn’t care to share such a secret with me, am I right?” you crossed your arms over your chest. He smiled at you mockingly. You felt anger sweltering inside you.
“ Don’t you dare look at me like that, Alastor.”
“ You’ve always been endearingly stupid. My first kiss was with you, in your room, remember ?” he tilted his head as he took another step toward you.
You felt your body relaxed. You couldn’t be angry with him. He didn’t know. He wasn’t reading the same book as you. You have been so embarrassed when he had catched you reading a love story but at least you knew what a first kiss was! 
“ Alastor, a kiss isn’t… A first kiss is something you must share with a special someone. Your lips need to touch the other one.” you blushed as you looked away. “ I think.. Th-The lips need to move against each other an-and..”
You took a step back but his hand found the back of your waist as he softly tugged you against him. You knew he was trying to find your eyes but you were so embarrassed by what you just told him.
“ So, a first kiss must be with a special someone, right?” he waited for you to nod before raising your chin with his finger. “ Then, can I give you my real first kiss?” You stared at him with your eyes wide open, your cheeks flushed red.
“ What..”
“ You are my most special person since childhood… For me, it’s only natural for you to have my first kiss.” he smiled at you, his eyes shining with that oh so familiar glint you were used to seeing each time he was looking at you. “ You don’t have to if you don’t want of course, but–”
“ I want to. You.. You are also my .. most special person…” he nodded with a soft genuine smile that made you feel warm inside. You closed your eyes as you waited for him to kiss you.
“ Nu-uh, keep your eyes on me.” you opened your eyes, blushing furiously.
“ You are supposed to close your eyes when you are kissing someone !”
“ I don’t really care, this is our first kiss, we’ll do it how we want.” he smirked as he approached his face toward you. Your eyes were looking at his lips then his eyes, you couldn't focus on something, you were stressed, you were nervous, you were excited. Your eyes were half closed when you felt his warm lips against your cold one. You looked at his eyes, his gaze piercing your gaze with an intensity too much to bear, you closed your eyes.
It wasn’t like in the book but you didn’t know why, you didn’t care. 
You kept your eyes closed as Alastor stepped back slightly , you could still feel his breath against your mouth. You opened your eyes and gave him a shy smile as he whispered.
“ So dear, have you ever kissed someone ?” you nodded. “ With whom?”
“ Alastor.”
“ How was it?”
“ Perfect.” you smiled at him as he grinned at you before covering your shoulder with his blaze. 
“ Come on now, the soirée needs its stars !”
Tag List: lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @boogiemansbitch @sodavizz @tessemerick @slytherin4ever @kammsinn @alastorssimp
181 notes · View notes
aliidarling · 3 days
Text
i need to purge my urges, shame shame shame pt. 2
Tumblr media
RICK GRIMES x fem!reader
part. 1
nsfw content — please scroll if uncomfortable
summary: rick has been slowly trapping you with him, but someone comes up which ends in him having to remind you who u belong to
warnings: nsfw, p in v, fingering, noncon pretty much, manipulating, gaslighting, toxic rick, creampie, baby trapping, rough sex
i took inspo from an anon who requested baby-trapping :3
dark content below !!
You thought after a few days or weeks of being a B at the CRM would fill the void in your heart, the need to go back home and reunite with your friends and family. You could only imagine their smiles and faces, as now you had no way of contacting them. Rick was watching you like a hawk, eyes always on you even when he wasn’t in the room.
The sound of Judith’s laughter echoed in your head as you sat in your new apartment, his. He had just recently asked you to move into his commander suite, which you really couldn’t say no to, who would? The chance to be closer to your husband? You would be crazy to reject such an offer.
Every day of the last week had gone the same. You’d wake up in his arms, make love, eat breakfast, and split ways, Rick off to command and you on your way to stab walkers at the gate for hours in the heat. The thick uniforms were annoying but you were starting to get used to it.
What didn’t sit right with you was how *casual* Rick was with this whole thing. You had made the mistake of trying to reason with him a few weeks ago, which now was a reminder in your head not to anger him.
“The hell do you think you’re doin’?” He says angrily, glaring at you. He was livid, frustrated, and mostly offended. He had been so gentle and kind with you, and you go off and try and run away.
“I was trying— I was, I just got lost, Rick.” You plead quickly, your words a mess as you look up at him pleadingly. Your lips tremble as you see his fists clench and his nose flare. He was pissed off.
“You’re trying to leave me, aren’t you?” He scoffs, turning away to shake his head in disbelief. “Un-fucking-believable.” He sighs to himself. You shrivel up, tears pricking at your eyes. You didn’t want him to be angry at you, why was he angry? You loved him.
“I swear, I swear I’m not. I won’t try to leave, Rick.” You step forward and pull him into a hug, burying your face into his chest as you whimper. He lets out a dramatic groan, rolling his eyes and reluctantly wrapping his arms around you.
“You can’t keep doing this, sweetheart. You know I care about you. How am I supposed to take care of you when you’re not with me, hmm? You’re so small, someone else could just,” He initiates a pew pew sound, making you flinch and curl up further into him. He holds back a mean snicker.
“Say, why don’t you start staying with me? I’ll keep you safe. You’ll wake up in my arms every day and I can stuff that needy pussy whenever you want.” He coos lovingly into your ear, gently picking you up.
The rest was history. Shortly after, you moved in with him, and now you woke up every morning in his arms and fell asleep in them. He would manage to sneak into some of your shifts as the Commander to keep watch, but you could feel his eyes burning through your uniform, you knew you were the only reason why he was there.
But today, something felt off. You were talking with one of the friends you had made in the past month, Micheal. He was one of the B’s as well, you saw him from 8 am to 6 pm every day and during meal breaks. He was sweet, fluffy hair with a killer smile and dimples to die for.
“Did you know one of the a B’s broke into the cafeteria last night and stole a bunch of food? The commanders were all talking about it this morning, they’re pissed.” He innocently gossips. He smiles at you, turning to face you slightly as he stabs a walker right in the face.
You remember Rick slightly talking about it earlier. You give Micheal a nod, politely smiling back at him.
“I dunno who did it, but I hope they got enough for me. I’m starving.” You joke softly. He chuckles and nods, his hands at work but his eyes on you.
As the two of you continue talking happily, relieved at the small distraction from the labor you were forced to do, you feel a pair of eyes burn onto your back. Your heart skipped a beat as you quickly knew who it was. You could recognize that grumpy aura from anywhere.
Peering behind you, you made quick eye contact with a tall commander. Even with the mask on, you knew it was him, you could tell. He was staring right at you, arms crossed and body language annoyed.
You shrink slightly and glanced back at Micheal, taking a small step back. You cough to yourself.
“Sorry, I’ve been kinda sick recently so.. We should keep some space, don’t wanna get you sick, do I?” You laugh softly.
He blinks in surprise before nodding quickly, a small blush coming over his cheek as he realizes his close he was to you. It was cute how giddy he was when it came to you, it was obvious the boy had a crush.
“Of course! What do you have? A cold? Fever? Do you want me to bring something over later? I have some medicine at my place.”
It was as if Rick had heard those words because next thing you know you’re getting shoved back into a hard chest.
“Consignee, you’re being called.” A rough voice says. You look up behind you to see the tall commander you already knew who was gazing down at you coldly. He diverts his attention to Micheal, and his gaze goes angry. You can see the dents between his brows that he has when he gets angry.
“Yes, commander.” You salute, glancing at Micheal and giving him a weak smile before walking off.
Rick stands there for a moment, glaring at Micheal, before following you.
Once you’re inside the building and in a private hall, he doesn’t waste a second and shoves you against a wall, his mask already off and his face all up in yours.
“Who the hell do you think you are? Flirting with others in front of my face like I’m some fuckin’ idiot.” He snapped. His rough hands go to hold your shoulders flush to the wall, his eyes narrowed with a glint of menace in them. He was angry, pissed off, and confused.
Why would you go and flirt with someone else when you have him? He was the perfect husband— talk, handsome, sweet personality, and amazing bed skills, something he was sure Micheal didn’t have. Stupid Micheal probably didn’t even know how to be a real man. Rick was a real man.
“What are you talking about?” You gasp. “I wasn’t flirting with him— what?! Me and him are just friends!” You counter immediately, getting defensive and offended.
“Like hell you are,” He scoffs, pushing you closer. His eyes gaze down at you coldly, narrowed and furious. He stares at you before pressing his nose against you, his hot breath on your face. You shiver and try to lean back but the wall has you trapped.
“You’re lucky I didn’t kill him right there, would have painted the gates with his blood. Would you of liked that?” He sneers. You go still momentarily, thinking over his harsh threat, your heartbeat racing.
“No, no Rick. You don’t need to do all that— I won’t talk to him.” You say quickly, reaching to gently cup his face with your shaky palms. You gulp nervously and attempt to soothe him, rubbing gently and pressing a little peck to his lips. He growls against your lips, pulling you back in when you attempt to part. He doesn’t want to be away from you right now, he wants all of you and your loyalty entirely.
It had been a few days since then. Everything was supposedly fine, you guessed. Rick was still watching you like a hawk. You could feel the glare on your back whenever Micheal goes anywhere near you, so you make sure to come up with excuses to leave the young man alone for the sake of his safety.
You didn’t want anything to happen to him. You knew Rick. You used to, that is. You had no idea why he had changed so much, but you couldn’t just leave him. No— You loved him. You wouldn’t leave. Maybe you could help him go back to his old self, maybe he was just damaged.
Yeah. That’s it. He needs you. You have to help him. Aid him in returning to his old self so you can have *your* Rick back.
You were out by the lake when you heard leaves crunching next to you. You turned to face the disturbance, your heart skipping a beat when you thought it was Rick— but the sight of the blonde boy had you relaxing for some reason.
“Micheal.” You greet with a polite smile, shuffling on the bench to make room for him. He smiles back at you and sits down, a few inches between your thighs.
“You alright? I’ve uh, noticed you’ve been a little distant recently.” He frowned, leaning back on the bench and gazing at the beautiful lake in front of the two of you. It was fall, the leaves were falling and the sidewalk was covered in a variety of red, orange, and yellow.
Your smile twitched as you picked at your hair.
“It’s nothing, just haven’t been feeling well. I think I caught a cold.” You chuckle softly, facing him slightly. You put your arm on the back of the bench, leaning on your palm. You gazed at him closely.
Knowing Rick wasn’t here, you felt oddly comfortable. You weren’t scared of accidentally angering him by being friendly with Micheal like you could breathe clearly for once.
He gives you a concerned look, brows furrowing innocently.
“Oh, that’s not good. How do you feel today?”
A small sigh left you as you squirmed in your position, not sure what to say. Pressing your lips together for a moment, you pondered.
“…Peachy.”
A small giggle left the both of you as you sat and conversed freely, no commanders breathing down your neck or glaring daggers.
You should have known that the peace never lasted long when it came to being married to a ticking time bomb. The second you entered your apartment, the air was tense and you could tell by the way Rick was looking at you that you did something wrong.
“What’s wrong?” You said immediately, rushing forward to him. You gently place your hands on his forearms, frowning up at him innocently. What did you do? Why is he angry?
He grunts lowly and grabs you by your shoulders, pushing you back until your back is against the wall. You failed to speak as your throat went dry, your heart stopping for a good second.
“Rick—“ Your voice cracked, a yelp leaving you as his fist landed on the wall just inches from your face.
“Shut the hell up, you ungrateful little,” He inhales deeply before he says something he knows he’ll regret. One hand next to you clenched in a fist, the other rubbing his jaw in a stressed manner, he finally looks down at you with a harsh glare.
“Do you even love me?” He chokes out, blinking. His voice was scratchy, the southern accent from years ago a subtle hint now.
You blink in surprise, lips parting as you stand there confused and fearful.
“W-What? Of course, I do! You're my husband, I searched for you for years,” You were once again interrupted by him as he raised his voice at you, making you flinch and cower in his presence.
“The hell were you doin’ with Micheal, huh?! That skimpy little boy— Out there by the lake, talking like you’re two little love birds, who the hell do you think you are?!” He snaps.
His hands come up to your face aggressively, making you flinch as you think he’s gonna hit you. He instead cups your cheeks and leans down so he’s breathing down your cheeks.
“You thought I was gon’ hit you? Is that how low you think of me? What the hell?” His raised voice has you practically trembling in fear, legs wobbly and bottom lip quivering pathetically.
“N-No Rick, you know I don’t think of you like that. You’re scaring me, please.” You whimpered out, attempting to squirm out of his hold. He tightens his grasp on you, pressing his body against yours.
“You shut that pretty mouth of yours, baby, before I do something you really won’t like. I’ll give you a reason to cry, got that? Huh?” He shakes you, making your eyes burn with humiliation and tears.
“Y-Yes.” You nod, your hands shakily reaching for him as you weakly attempt to push his hands off your face. In response, he slightly slaps your cheek as a warning, a pressurized pat.
You blink hard, trying to hold back the tears. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
He stares you down, thinking silently in his head. He was quiet, and his silence was more threatening than his words for some reason. He was unrecognizable when it came to reading him. He used to be easy to calm down, but not anymore.
“Y’know, I never got to see you with a baby bump. Saw you raise Carl with me, but never saw you pregnant. Never.” He mumbles. His eyes narrow as he looks you up and down. His words send goosebumps down your spine, the dark reasoning behind them known to you. You attempt to push him off more firmly now, sniffling.
“Don’t do this,” You choke out. He ignores your pleas and grabs you, manhandling you into his bed and pressing you down. His body was big and muscular, he had grown a lot. Small pleas leave your throat as you squirm and thrash, but it’s all useless to him.
“Shhhh, I’m not gonna hurt ya’, is it so bad I wanna see my wife pregnant? You’d look so cute, belly full of my babies.” He whispers, smiling down at your form. He pushes his hands under your shirt and pulls it up over your head. It gets stuck on your head because of your thrashing, making him roll his eyes in annoyance.
He slaps your thigh once he has the shirt off you, scowling down at you.
“Behave, or I swear to god.” He hisses. He watches as you start to let tears stream down your cheeks, and he holds back the smile as he reaches down and gently kisses them away.
“Don’t cry baby, you’re gonna be the prettiest mama I know.” He mumbles as he starts to kiss up your belly, pampering you with affection that only makes you feel worse. Every kiss has you sniffling and hiccuping under him, your body trembling.
“Can’t run from me when you’re pregnant with my child, right?” He chuckles darkly, large hands cupping your belly. He squeezes it gently and smiles at your reaction.
He pulls you in for a kiss, hands tugging down your pants and panties, not wasting any time. He was impatient, he’d admit it. He didn’t want another second to go where you weren’t stuffed full of his seed.
Spreading your thighs was hard with the way you were squeezing them shut. He rolls his eyes at your fight but easily holds them apart, the other hand going down to your pussy.
He clicks his tongue as he feels how barely wet you are. “Whatever, it’ll do.” With that, he shoves his fingers into your mouth. He glares at you, waiting for your saliva to coat his fingers before he pulls out and shoves them knuckle-deep into your cunt.
“A-Augh!” You gasp at the sudden burn in your lower region, your body tensing and eyes fluttering. Even with your salvia around the fingers currently thrusting deeper into you, it still hurt like a bitch to be stretched open so suddenly. Rick’s fingers were thick.
“Shhh, take it, c'mon.” He mutters, eyes narrowed as his fingers keep sliding in and out roughly, not giving you a chance to breathe as he makes scissoring motions.
Your moans are forced out of your throat. Even with how hard you were trying to hold them back, Rick knew exactly how to make you feel good, knew which spots make your toes curl and which ones made you cum the hardest.
He ignores your shaky cries and how you begged him to stop, his fingers only going harder. You curl up at the feeling, gasping. You were already feeling close to cumming to your embarrassment.
“So close already?” He snickers meanly, pulling out swiftly and rushing to unbuckle his belt and pull down his jeans. He was in a hurry, a hurry to get balls-deep in you and fuck you until you’re leaking cum. “Poor baby.” He tsk’s at your whimper.
“No, don’t— Rick,” You beg desperately as he pulls out his hard cock and positions himself on top of you, tip against your opening and his hands holding you down. You feel more tears coming as your legs are forced open and your thighs are pressed against your chest, knees almost touching your chin.
You sob under him as he slowly thrusts inside, his eyes rolling back at the feeling of your tight pussy squeezing him. Even with how he stretched you open, it still felt like he was ripping you open whenever he slid himself into you.
He presses his chest down onto your thighs, legs over his shoulders, and his hands grab yours to hold them above your head. Your eyes roll back at the feeling, trembling in a mix of fear, pain, and arousal. You didn’t k is what to do.
“Please—“
“Shut up, shhh.” He starts to thrust, and you immediately start to moan at how deep his cock hit inside you. Gasping for air as you choked on your tears, his grunt grew louder as he picked up a smooth pace.
“Gonna stuff this pussy full of my babies, you’re gonna be so pretty pregnant, baby, don’t cry, don’t cry.” He soothes you, thrusting harder into your wailing hole.
Even with how good it felt to have him thrust into your body, his body pressing against yours with his lips pressing gentle kisses all over you, you couldn’t focus on any of it. All you could think of was how much he had changed. The Rick you knew would never do this to you.
Your body was being pleasured, but your heart was being stabbed over and over again, aching and throbbing painfully. You just wanted this all to stop and for him to hold you close and comfort you. Was that too much to ask for?
He groans and reaches down to get as close to you as possible, saying, "Fuck, fuck." He intended for you to feel every single inch of him, the depth of him being there in your tiny little pussy, and every feeling he gave you.
“Ya’ feel that? Yeah? Can you feel how deep I am in that pussy of yours? I can feel you gripping me, my love; must feel so good, doesn't it?” Your cries are muffled as he successfully presses his cock further, his fat head grazing your tender region and making you clench up.
“Gonna cum inside you and force you to take every drop, knock you up, and then you can’t leave me. You’re not going anywhere, all mine sweetheart.” He rambles into your ear as his thrusts continue, your eyes rolling back at the force and pace. You sobbed under him for mercy but he didn’t listen, instead tightening his grip on your wrists.
“Fuckkkk, feels so good,— Take every bit of it, kay? Gon’ make you cry so much harder if you don’t,” He groans. He buries himself as deep inside you as he can, hugging you tightly to his chest as he releases his thick load in your walls. It takes him a moment to part from you, sweating and panting. You had him whimpering on top of you, still holding you down. He starts to sloppily thrust again, making you flinch at the feeling.
“No, please stop! I can’t take anymore, please!” You plea, whining shakily as he rams into your sensitive hole over and over again. You already had his cum dripping out of you, the squelching sounds making you blush in embarrassment as he kept going. He invokes your words and continues his torturous pace.
“We’re gonna be here for a while, sweetheart.” He chuckles darkly. With a raspy groan, he grasps your waist, letting your wrists go finally and holding your waist as leverage to batter your insides easier.
“If you think I’m goin’ to sleep tonight without a shit load of cum inside you, then you’re stupider than I thought.”
Yeah, you were definitely getting pregnant after this.
136 notes · View notes
mammomlette · 2 days
Text
OBEY ME OLDER BROTHERS AS SOULMATE TROPES!
Includes: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, GN! Reader/MC, possible cringe
Notes: This is literally my first ever fan fic I’ve published (if head cannons count as fan fics lmao) so apologies for any mistakes or weird formatting! Constructive criticism is more than welcome, I’m ASKING for it if you have any🙏
Alsoo they just kept getting longer and longer, I don’t know why and I’ve gone through lucifers to try and make it longer but I just can’t so sorry😭
LUCIFER: you can’t see their eye colour until you meet them.
* It wasn’t really that bad, being unable to see red.
* Being unable to see the colour of your blood as it oozed out of a cut wasn’t really that bad, even if it just looked like grey tar pouring out instead which is equally gross
* It wasn’t really that bad to just never be able to see a single colour, everyone had to put up with it at some point
* But it was sad how rose bouquets always looked dull, and how hearts would always be grey
* It was sad how you couldn’t just imagine up a new colour to fill the void that not being able to see red left
* You knew that the colour you couldn’t see was called red, and you could learn as much as you’d like about it but that didn’t meant you could imagine it let alone see it for yourself
* Not until you were teleported into a large, court-like room one day
* You looked up from whatever you were doing and stared up at the man who had begun to cheerfully talk in front of you. His hair was that familiar gray that you recognised as red
* He introduced you to your situation and the school, and in your panic your eyes darted across the room
* Then, you suddenly made eye contact with a man in a dark coat, hair a matching colour and eyes that were also a dark colour
* but a new dark colour
* Not that gray you had been familiar with your whole life, but a fierce mix of orange and pink, the way the colour red had been described to you your entire life
* You saw through your periphery some orniments on the wall and the previous man’s hair and jacket come to life with colour, but you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the dark haired man before you
* He had frozen, just like you, afraid to blink, afraid that he’d lose this enticing new colour again after missing it for so long if he were to let it go for less than a second
* When he finally looked away, he saw how different decorations in the room that had previously been gray lit up with the colour of your eyes, the world never seeming so alive in all the thousands of years of his life as they did in that moment
* For the first time in his incredibly long life, he saw the beauty that was your eyes and all the beauty they brought with them.
MAMMON: the red string of fate.
* Your entire life you had been accompanied by that obnoxious red string.
* Whenever you glanced down to your non-dominant hand, the first thing you noticed was the red string all tangled up and wrapped around your hand
* Sometimes you’d get bored and tie nots in it or rest it on a surface and pull it to make shapes, but as soon as you took your attention away from it it’d return to normal, pointing in the direction of your soulmate
* And for some reason, the direction would always be down
* Not always directly down, sometimes diagonal, but it always managed to go into the ground.
* Was your soulmate miner or something???
* You had tried and tried countless times to follow it, going into basements and even considering going cave exploring in case your soulmate was some kind of cave creature trapped down there
* There was even a time you considered that they could be in hell, because where else could they be that’s so low down?!
* You had grown to hate it, the way it would taunt you and while it showed your friends their soulmates, it just showed you the dirt on the ground
* Hopes of finding your soulmate and curiosity to where they could be grew into despair, concluding that your soulmate was either a mole person or dead
* Both results meant that you’d never meet them and would forever be tormented by that hideous, obnoxious, torturous red string that was eternally tied to your ring finger
* You were waiting in a lobby for a job interview when you suddenly popped into the devildom
* A man was happily introducing you to the courtroom(?) and all of the people sat inside of it
* There was a man named Lucifer, followed by his younger brothers, all of which noticeably sharing names with demons. This place was called the Devildom, they’re demons, is this hell?Someone must be pulling your leg or something, right?!?!
* You were cut of from your thoughts by the dark haired man- Lucifer- telling you to call his younger brother.
* You hesitantly took the phone-like device called a ‘DDD’ from Lucifer’s hands and dialed the number you were told to, fidgeting with the string on your ring finger that nobody else could see
* You waited for Lucifer’s younger brother, Mammon, to show up, still fiddling with the string, when you felt a sudden jolt on the string
* You looked down, to see the string moving slightly, left to right to slightly up, and noticed that it was no longer going into the ground. It was right at the doorway to the room.
* A man stormed into the room, immediately charging in your direction and shouting about your ‘nerve’ to summon ‘the great Mammon’
* Safe to say the shouting died down when he took a look at your hand and noticed how your strings were connected
* Awkward silence filled the air until it was interrupted by the Avatar of Lust, cooing at the situation when he put two and two together and realised what was going on
* You were too focused on the red string connecting you to his hand to noticed the red slowly covering mammons face
* Internally, you laughed. Of course you found your soulmate in Hell.
LEVIATHAN: you make choices for your soulmate.
* You woke up to the sun shining through your curtains. Your soulmate, for whatever reason, didn’t allow you to shut your blinds. He didn’t even decline it, just left it on read.
* Why did you even have to request to do something so mundane?!
* Your soulmate forgetting to respond to your requests was a common occurrence, usually in the morning, but any time could be victim to your soulmates negligence to your requests.
* You went downstairs and opened your fridge and grabbed the first thing you saw: a pancake filled with red bean paste, in a box labeled ‘Azuki-tan, cute companion!’
* You had zero clue what that meant, you just remembered seeing it for sale at a grocery store a couple days ago
* Again, you had to send a request to your soulmate over whether you could eat this or not.
* Almost immediately, it was accepted. You didn’t really stop to think about the fast reaction time to the request, just thankful this wasn’t another ignored request
* Just as you were about to put it into your mouth, you were teleported to a large room that resembled a court room and contained a lot of chairs and 6 scary-looking men
* You kind of zoned out for most of that discussion until you started asking questions, but safe to say the pancake was forgotten, still in your hand.
* You made your way to where you would be staying with the demon assigned to look after you, Mammon, when a request from your soulmate popped up:
* ‘Soulmate would like to: Ask his brother for his money back.’
* You accepted, wondering what harm could be done, and entered the building with Mammon.
* You were just chatting with the white haired boy when all of a sudden a boy with purple hair started yelling at him “How about this? I vote for YOU to die, Mammon!”
* They started to yell at each other about money, which you found to be an odd coincidence. Would this even be considered as asking for money though? It’s more like bullying.
* You watched the argument unfold and brought the pancake to your mouth, about to take a bite, when the purple haired boy froze and stared at you, which made you stand there awkwardly with your mouth about to bite into the pancake for a few seconds waiting for him to say something
* “Is that Azuki-tan?!”
* “Umm… I think that was on the packaging… why?”
* Very awkward. Oh look, a request!
* ‘Soulmate would like to geek-out about Azuki-Tan and The Magical Ruri Hana: Demon Girl franchise.’ You accepted. How random.
* You had no time to ponder the randomness of the request because the purple haired boy, Levi as Mammon had introduced him, began to spout random nonsense about the pancake? No, a girl called ruri hana- wait no, now he’s going on about voice acting- who’s that voice actor?- wait what show is he going on about now?!?! You really wanted to tell this guy to slow down or shut up!
* He paused for a quick moment and pressed a button in the air, continuing with his tangent when you yelled at him to just slow down!
* He paused. He stared into your soul. He looked like he was rebooting, or something.
* “You’re my soulmate?” He said, voice shaky. You asked him what he meant, and he just started going on a rant about an anime where this very thing happened and- he’s off topic again, he’s going a mile a minute! You asked the voice in your head ‘can I please tell him to shut up?!’
* He stopped and stared at you, now yelling how you were asking him to shut up and how rude than was!
* Oh shit. He’s right? He’s your soulmate? And you just asked your soulmate to shut up the annoying guy in front of you?? Whew boy.
* You awkwardly mutter apologies to eachother, flustered, both the pancake and his older brother forgotten.
132 notes · View notes
Text
A Goodbye to The Bad Batch
I don’t even know what to say first. Because this is goodbye, but it is also everything but. But I suppose I should start at the beginning.
Just a couple of years ago I found my love for Star Wars. My entire life, as far back as I can remember, my dad has tried to get me into the fandom. Now, he’s not a fan the exact same way some of us are, he’d only watched the saga and the Mandalorian, funnily enough I was the one to introduce him to The Clone Wars and beyond, but it’s been a joy in his life for a very long time. I was never interested in it when I was little, but then I got a little older and Star Wars started to capture my interest.
One random weekend, I believe in 2021 or 2022, I decided that I was going to watch all nine saga movies in those forty-eight hours, and then start on my goal to watch every show and the additional movies.
This is, without a shred of doubt, one of the greatest decisions I have ever made, and one that I will never regret. I would not be the person I am had I not given Star Wars a chance.
It would sound ridiculous to anyone anywhere else, but this has become such a safe place for me that I know I can be honest.
Everyone finds that one thing that makes them happy like nothing else. A person, a hobby, a place, a fandom. Mine is the galaxy far, far away that lets me escape from my life whenever I need to.
The Star Wars fandom has its faults, and there is so much hatred.
But more than anything, there is love like no love I have ever experienced before. The love between fans and our love for these movies and shows is something I never expected to have in my life. But somehow, for some reason, it has all found a permanent place in my heart, and I couldn’t be happier.
At this time, the first season of The Bad Batch had just been released. I was branching out, watching The Clone Wars and then jumping to The Book of Boba Fett, though I’m not sure why I chose to watch everything in such a completely random order.
But then I started The Bad Batch.
I had no idea what Crosshair, Tech, Wrecker, Hunter, Echo, and Omega would come to mean to me.
I have dealt with a lot in the last few years. Nothing compared to others, but depression finds a way to wedge into your life. I love to be alone, but I don’t like to be lonely, and I have managed to isolate myself to a point of misery.
I found more comfort in The Bad Batch than anything else in my life, and I will never forget the joy The Bad Batch brought me in these last few years.
I began to write when I found Star Wars, and I was inspired to do so by The Bad Batch. Before, I had never felt so compelled by any one piece of media to add my own part of it to the world, until this. Writing has become another escape, one that gives me an outlet to continue the stories of characters left behind.
What I already knew has been reaffirmed, the lessons I have learned remain with me, and will even after this is over.
That it’s okay to feel afraid, because everyone does, and to make mistakes, provided you learn from them.
That feeling out of place for one reason or another does not make you unworthy of love, and having limitations with affection isn’t something you need to apologize for.
That being goofy, having fun, finding joy in the dark places, is just as vital a part of life as anything else, if not what we need more than anything.
That taking time for yourself, to make sure you don’t fall apart, even while taking care of others, is important.
That our worst moments can be one of two things, what consumes us, or what we grow from.
That being a young woman is not a detriment to your worth, intelligence, talent, or any other aspect of life, but is in fact what makes you strongest.
That what makes us unique and our faults are a part of who we are, but they do not define us, and we are so much more than the ideas people have of us.
My only regret is not making friends when I had the chance. I’m bad at that, opening up and putting myself out there, and I shy away from talking to new people because it makes me uncomfortable. But I wish I had been able to put that aside before it was too late and found people who love The Bad Batch the way I do to continue talking to, even after the show ends.
But to all the people who have supported me and who I have supported, thank you for being part of my Bad Batch experience.
It's very difficult to believe that this is it.
Though The Bad Batch has not been around long, it feels like it has, because as long as I have been watching Star Wars, The Bad Batch has been in its active run, and I’m so grateful I got to be here when it was.
I know that even when the credits roll for the final time, when the greater fandom forgets the show that they never really understood the way we have, I’ll be here, and hopefully, so will all of you. I think that the family brought together by The Bad Batch will endure, even if we go quiet for a while.
We’ll stick around, for the day the Batch comes back. Because I know they will.
Thank you Clone Force 99, the Bad Batch fandom, Dee Bradley Baker, Michelle Ang, the Kiners, and everybody who played a part in telling this story.
The impact The Bad Batch has had on my life has been profound, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. It’s been a wild ride, and I have enjoyed every second of it. It has been a privilege to be a part of this piece in the ever growing history that makes up Star Wars.
Goodbye, Bad Batch. Until next time.
“Change takes getting used to. You’ll see. Just give it time.”
Tumblr media
90 notes · View notes
Text
ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ'ꜱ ꜱᴏɴ, ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ'ꜱ ᴅᴀᴜɢᴛʜᴇʀ
Tumblr media
ᴀᴇᴍᴏɴᴅ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ!ɴɪᴇᴄᴇ
"...ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇʀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴍʏ ʜᴀɴᴅ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ."
Word count: 4,300.
Fandom: House of the Dragon.
Pairing: Aemond x Reader!Velaryon!Niece.
MEETING - 2. Him.
Several nights had passed since he made his way to his father's chambers, who had summoned him. He vividly remembered the journey through the corridors of the keep, walking with a stupid smile on his face. Except for his racing heart, there was no evidence of his passage through the pit, as the water had taken care to erase them.
He was heading towards his destination without any idea, eager to share his new adventure and see his father's face change when he discovered that he was not a lost cause, like his brother. He truly possessed the potential and courage to fill him with pride if only he was given the chance.
Viserys had always been more focused on his elder sister, a reality he fully understood; after all, she would eventually occupy the throne. While Alicent had been too busy all the time, immersed in concerns, striving to cover Aegon mistakes at every turn.
However, the meeting with his father was anything but expected, worse, even. His mother had beaten him to it and had let him know the situation beforehand. He received nothing but a sermon, and Viserys let him go without even a gesture of affection, with a heavy heart and his eyes glassy from holding back tears.
He did not expect to be placed at the top of the priority list, although he wanted it with all his being. It was known that, as a second son, he could not expect it, but he did not think it was too much to ask for a minimum dose of attention and affection.
It seemed to be his destiny; his expectations always soared above reality, and he knew that he had to learn to accept it, for there was no one else hurt but himself. But how would he now abandon them, if she seemed willing to answer all his pleas? Or to stop his naive imagination, if she seemed determined to shame the image he had forged of her? Or to stop being a believer, if her delicate hand continued to bless him with caresses? How would he calm the beats of his racing heart if she continued to look at him and listen to him like no one ever had? As if he were brave, important, cherished.
She approached him with the grace of someone who doesn't know that's fulfilling desires that had inhabited his mind for so many nights, preventing him from thinking of anything else. He had so longed for this. While in his fantasies it had been him who took the initiative, at this moment the detail seemed as trivial as every unaccomplished aspiration he had harbored before.
A fleeting regret overwhelmed him as he realized that his excitement had prevented him from behaving with the chivalry he longed to demonstrate. His words flowed ceaselessly, revealing everything he had always wanted to share in each previous encounter. And now, they had to part ways. What if the next day her curiosity and interest faded? What if she considered him an idiotic and insipid egomaniac who did nothing but talk about himself?
"Forgive me, niece, I must have tired your ears," he muttered, his head bowed, before rising from his seat, "and I didn't ask about your stories; you must think me rude." He avoided meeting her gaze, fearful of finding confirmation of his words. However, he heard her melodious laughter once again, an echo that ignited his hope and relieved him.
"Not at all, I would have liked to keep listening to you. Besides, I don’t have stories as brave as yours, and I wouldn't want to bore you to exhaustion" she replied.
A latent worry gnawed at him; hopefully, having worn a mask to hide his emotions and thoughts from her for so long wouldn't allow her to glimpse the authentic feelings overflowing within him.
He reached the exit and, as he grasped the knob, said sincerely, "I do not think that's possible" his gaze trying to convey the truthfulness of his words.
He opened the door and waited for her to leave. Never before had he gathered the courage to engage in direct conversation with her; he had then preferred to demonstrate his intentions through other gestures. As long as he was present in the room, he would not allow a simple guard to open her door or escort her to her chambers.
They bid farewell with the promise of meeting again the next day, and he had the sensation that the night slid by with the most exasperating slowness he had ever experienced.
Tumblr media
Each conversation was like a new chapter, a story filled with complicity and companionship. He proposed question games, and she accepted with a sparkle in her eyes. His mind seemed insatiable for information about her, and it was no surprise; after all, each answer added brilliance to the gem he was uncovering. Enchanted by her curiosity too, he revealed parts of himself that he had never shared before.
It was something new and refreshing to have someone who seemed to share the same ambitions and with whom he could express his darkest fears and boldest dreams. Every word and shared anecdote created a bridge between their worlds, one he eagerly sought to reinforce every day.
"What would you have liked your dragon to be like?" she asked. It no longer hurt him to have these conversations, he had grown accustomed to them, as she loved them. Always telling him the stories of the ancient ones and their brave riders, showing her fondness to one in particular. And lately, he had found that they gave him more determination to one day claim his own.
"I never really imagined it" he replied. They were both sitting face to face by the window, their knees touching and their gazes contemplating the sea, with its gentle murmur in the background. "But one big enough to carry two riders would be just perfect for me." She offered him a smile, understanding the longing for a new companion to take them both to new horizons.
"Can I tell you something?" he had said after a long silence. His voice trembled slightly, his vulnerability showing.
"Of course you can" she replied, turning gently to face him.
"I..." he took a deep breath, confessed, "I lied to you the other day."
"About what?" she asked, curiosity on her face as she awaited the revelation.
"When you asked if I was scared in the pit," he said, ashamed, "the truth is, I had never felt more terrified in my entire life." He sought her eyes, prepared to face the disappointment covering her delicate face.
She settled in, resting her face on her knees and looking into his eyes with tenderness, she said, "anyone would have been, my prince." She put another small smile. "You were brave to go in, and clever to come out." A wave of calm washed over him as he listened to her. "But do not feel the need to lie" she added, gently. "We're in a safe place." He nodded, grateful for her words, feeling the weight of his confession dissipate in the light of her understanding.
They had found a shelter there in the library; her warmth and tenderness had brought those corners to life, turning them magical, where entire afternoons and evenings slipped away unhurriedly, filling the place with whispers, laughter, and secrets. Where the books, once so revered, began to be less and less present. It was just them and their hearts laid bare, open like pages waiting to be read.
"I was planning on skipping my class tomorrow" she confessed as they walked arm in arm to the door of her chamber, "I'm not as good as Helaena embroidering, and I'm tired of pricking all my fingers." He laughed, sensing her frustration. "Maybe I could sneak into the training yard… and watch you?" she suggested timidly.
"Do you think they'll let you in? It's not exactly a place for ladies" he warned.
"I'll find a way." A spontaneous smile lit up her face, pulling at her lips. 
"Then you'll always be welcome, my princess" he affirmed. She kissed his cheek goodbye and entered the room without saying more. He silently thanked that she hadn't turned back before closing the door, because she would have seen his clumsy gesture. His hand, futilely, over his heart, trying to keep it from escaping his body and follow her.
Tumblr media
He felt renewed during the training, radiating spirits never seen before, and a spark of energy burned inside him. Saturated with excitement and anxiety that prevented him from focusing on anything other than the gates of the yard, his eyes fixed on them, awaiting her arrival. 
Ser Criston fell silent when his nephews took their turn practicing with the straw dummies. This routine was nothing new to him, but he had never given it much importance until he heard Aegon whisper maliciously.
"Did you know that Cole used to be Rhaenyra's protector?" His brother's words hung in the air, laden with an insinuation he couldn't quite grasp.
"So?" A pang of intrigue stirred him.
"I heard the idiot was in love with her and she rejected him" he continued amidst laughter, "I bet that's why he hates the little bastards."
A furrowed brow was his only response at the moment. Though he was still too young to fully comprehend the weight of the words, he caught their meaning. Could it be true? Aegon didn't seem like the most reliable source, but he still planted a seed of doubt in his head. 
Of course, he had noticed the visible difference between the young Velaryons and their parents, but it didn't seem really rare to him. Not every child was the livid image of their parents. 
He cared little for an insult directed at his nephews, who, like his elder brother, constantly sought ways to hurt him with jokes that were never funny. But this blow reached someone else. Someone he cared about.
"Do not say that" he warned, trying to quell his doubt.
The taller one looked down at him, puzzled. "Why not? It's the truth, just look at them" he insisted.
Before he could respond, the knight overseeing the training interrupted. "Princes, your turn" he announced, his hands clasped behind his back, his face stern and his authority unwavering.
"Come on, brother! The Pink Dread deserves to be ridden by a good warrior" escaped his brother's mouth, followed by his nephews' laughter. However, amidst the noise, a warm presence enveloped him, and he vowed not to let them ruin his day or steal his motivation.
She gave him a smile from across the yard before stooping to plant a kiss on Viserys's cheek, who, seated, watched everything attentively from the steps.
With determination, he took the wooden sword and, gathering all the concentration he could muster, immersed himself in the practice.
"Soften your knees" Ser Criston told him. "Keep your feet light and your hands heavy."
"This is the stuff, Lyonel" the king told the big man to his right. "Lads that learn together, train together. Knock each other down, pick each other up. They will certainly form a lifelong bond, wouldn’t you agree?" He said with a smile. Little did he know.
"That is the hope, Your Grace" the hand responded.
"Don't stand too upright, my prince, or you'll get knocked down." He adjusted his posture and continued to sword the mannequins. 
The yard was filled with grunts, the sound of wood clashing against the straw created a symphony of skill, and the air was imbued with effort.
Once agitated, they turned to exchange places again, but Aegon lingered, his gaze following the sway of two servants passing through.
"Aegon" Cole scolded. He couldn't understand how his brother could have so little shame and respect.
The accused returned his attention to the training field. "I won my first bout, Ser Criston, my opponent sues for mercy" he declared with his usual lack of seriousness and a mocking smile on his face.
"Well, you’ll have a new opponent then, my lord of the straw" Criston retorted, turning to retrieve his black leather gloves and another wooden sword. "Let's see if you can touch me, you and your brother." He sighed and silently cursed his older brother, heading towards them. He didn't want to make a fool of himself in front of her, but backing down was not an option.
They began to fight simultaneously, trying to attack Criston from both sides, but he seemed undisturbed. Standing still, he effortlessly deflected every blow that came his way.
"You're gonna have to do better than that" his opponent said firmly.
He began to grow impatient, swinging the sword without any strategy, his breath ragged, showing the fatigue that already engulfed him. In the blink of an eye, both were on the ground, exhausted and defeated. He got up and leaned against the large table, trying to normalize his breathing.
"Weapons up, boys, don't give your enemies no quarter" Lord Commander Harwin Strong ordered, directing his words to the younger ones. Aegon nudged him in the shoulder, indicating that he should pay attention. "It seems the younger boys could do better with  a bit of your attention, Ser Criston."
Both men exchanged challenging glances before Criston asked, "You question my method of instruction, ser?"
"Oh, I merely suggest that method be applied to all your pupils."
"Very well."
Jacaerys appeared grateful for the intervention, a smile briefly gracing his face, but it quickly faded when Criston roughly grabbed him by his metal breastplate, positioning him in front of Aegon, who watched all with amusement. He turned towards the stairs and upon seeing her face, he found concern. He tried to offer her a reassuring look, but she did not move her eyes from her twin.
"Eldest son against eldest son," declared the guard, initiating a new challenge.
"It's hardly a fair match" Lord Strong pointed out, indicating the clear disparity in strength.
"I know you've never seen true battle, ser, but when steel is drawn, a fair match isn’t something anyone should expect" he said. Once they were in position, he instructed: "Blades up. Engage."
Aegon crossed the field and violently lunged at his opponent. It only took him a moment to throw him to the ground. A laugh escaped his lips, inevitable given the clear injustice. His older brother not only towered over him and outweighed him, but he had also had more training time than Jacaerys. He called an end to the match, a mistake born of his narcissism, as Jace still held his sword. Turning his back disdainfully, Aegon was caught off guard by his nephew, who skillfully disarmed him. The elder grabbed the straw dummy and hurled it at his opponent, in a desperate attempt to stop him.
"Foul play!" shouted the commander, his voice resonating with indignation.
"I deal with him." Both men took hold of their respective fighters, pulling them apart to offer them their expert advice.
"You!" shouted Aegon, his face furious. His pride tarnished by letting his nephew outmaneuver him and embarrass him.
"Close with him" Criston said, guiding Aegon every step of the way. "Press him backwards. Stay on the attack." Jace was cornered against the wall, with no escape. "Use your feet!" A question crept into his mind as he observed everything, would his brother be capable of winning without trickery and instructions? A kick found Jace's chest, leaving him breathless on the ground. "Don't let him get up." he ordered.
His nephew fought with all his might, but it was in vain. Aegon managed to disarm him and prepared to deliver the final blow, intended solely to injure him, as the battle had already concluded when the younger was left empty-handed.
"Enough!" Harwin shouted, intervening and grabbing Aegon from behind, pushing him away.
“You dare put hands on me?" his brother roared in response, indignation palpable in every word.
"Aegon!" called Viserys, noticing his son's exaggeration.
"You forget your place, Strong. That's the prince."
"Is this what you teach, Cole? Cruelty towards the weaker opponent?" Harwin inquired as he gathered the swords to put them back in their rightful place. Jacaerys got up and went to his younger brother's side, shielding him with his back. When the Lord Commander passed by Cole, the latter threw his sword at his feet. Challenging him. Provoking him. He walked past, determined not to fall into the trap.
"Your interest in the princelings training is quite unusual, Commander" he began, his expression drawn. "Most men would only have that kind of devotion towards a cousin, or a brother..." noticing the direction the conversation was taking, he looked worriedly towards her. Lyonel Strong was trying to persuade the young princess to return inside the keep, but those pleas fell on deaf ears. "Or a son" Criston concluded.
Without warning, Harwin lunged towards Cole, knocking him down. Blows filled the air as the commander unleashed his anger on the guard beneath him, shouting thunderously, "Say it again." Blood flowed from the guard's nose, most likely broken, just like his lip, as he lay with his back against the rocks. "Say it again."
"What are you waiting for? Take her away!" the king's exasperated voice was heard, ordering the guards to intervene and search for the princess. He felt the urge to move towards her, but a circle of guards formed around him, enclosing him with his brother and nephews, ready to defend them in case Harwin Strong misdirected his wrath.
Jace recognized his twin's desperate voice, calling out for them. He took Lucerys's hand and quickly broke free from the guards, running towards her. He tried to follow, but Aegon stopped him with a hand on his chest.
By the time they managed to separate Harwin from his victim, the princess was nowhere to be found. "Say it again" he screamed once more, as the guards struggled to restrain him.
"Look at him" Aegon said, nodding towards Cole's limp body on the ground. He heard him mutter something, but couldn't discern the words, then he spat blood from his mouth, with a triumphant gesture.
Tumblr media
In the days following the intense training, his heart beat with the hope of seeing her again, but his princess seemed to have disappeared into the shadows. Perhaps she didn't desire company, still haunted by the grotesque images that had wounded her eyes in the yard, or too saddened by the news. Harwin Strong, dismissed from the king's guard and sent back to Harrenhal, where the towers stood as silent witnesses to the tragedies that occurred there.
He had searched every room she frequented and every nook of the keep, in vain. She seemed to have vanished into thin air. He walked through the shared hallway, his eyes eagerly searching for the door that separated their worlds, hoping to see her open it and come his way.
The void left by her absence was palpable, stripping the soul of the library along with her, depriving it of all warmth and charm.
A new feeling invaded him, threatening to take root in the depths of his being. Has it all been a fleeting dream? He needed to see her face and make sure it had all been real, that she was still real and not just an echo in his memory.
He decided to seek solace in his sister, hoping her company could distract him from his unease or illuminate him with her usual riddles. The guard announced his arrival, and as he entered, found a familiar scene: his sister absorbed in her weaving, oblivious to his presence.
"Sister" he called softly.
"Brother" she responded, without taking her eyes off her work, as if the outside world were just a distant sound in her universe woven of threads and needles. "You can sit by my side" she murmured. He was accustomed to waiting for her commands; Helaena wasn't very fond of closeness. He walked the few steps that separated them, taking the seat beside her.
"Oh, sweet brother, your afflicted heart beats with sorrow" she whispered, furrowing her brow, laden with a wisdom that transcended words. She decided to set her sewing frame aside, taking his hand in her cold ones. Imaginary lines were drawn and read in his palm.
It made him uncomfortable to be so exposed, as if she could see beyond him, decipher his hidden secrets. His eyes avoided hers, filled with shyness, but his sister's gaze found him. "Do you not perceive the scent of roses in the air whispering to you?"
He tried to dissect her phrases, but it was more complicated than any philosophy book ever written. His furrowed brow showed his confusion. "The green awaits patiently for you" she concluded, refocusing on her former activity. A black spider adorned the fabric, formed by hundreds of delicate and meticulously planned threads.
He said goodbye to his sister, ready to go in search of her. Before stepping out of the room, he heard Helaena whisper a warning.
"Beware of the keeper of secrets." Still intrigued by the enigmas, he continued on his way.
Three knocks on the door, each one stirring his nervous breath and marking the beat of his racing heart. A fine mist of tension enveloped the air. His hands trembled slightly as they brushed against the wood, fearful of having made a mistake in coming here. He wondered if his visit would be well-received or if she would consider it an intrusion. Perhaps they didn't yet have such confidence in each other. These thoughts tormented him, suffocating his lungs. He decided it was best to let it be and wait for her to be ready to come out on her own. He would wait without haste, without hurry. He was about to turn around when he heard her low and soft voice resonating from the other side of the door.
"Who is it?" she inquired cautiously. 
He hesitated for a moment, still with time to turn back, but before doing so, he replied firmly, "It's Aemond, my princess."
There was a brief moment of silence before the sound of the latch yielding and the door opening, revealing her before him. For the first time, he saw her wild hair loose, falling in beautiful curls around her shoulders, framing her tired face. It was usually up in braids. Her eyes were swollen, with bags under them, and her light blue dress slightly wrinkled, as if she had been in bed all day.
"Come in" she ordered softly, moving aside and gesturing for him to enter the room.
He thought it was exactly as he had imagined. Her distinctive and sweet scent filled the air. Shelves filled with books, her messy bed, hair brushes on her dresser, along with other items he couldn't identify... It was like entering a sacred sanctuary, where each object told him more about her. He turned his gaze back to her when he heard her speak.
"I missed you" she said, her voice barely a whisper, loneliness evident in her tone. She walked to her bed, not waiting for his response. She carefully smoothed out the sheets, apologizing for the mess, and sat down, patting the empty space beside her.
He still didn't know if it was appropriate to enter a princess's chamber, let alone sit on her bed. But she was inviting him, and he couldn't resist. He approached, his gaze fixed on her, moving his norms aside.
"I missed you too, my princess" he confessed, tenderly. She rested her head on his shoulder, taking his hands in hers.
"It's just us here, Aemond, you may call me by my name" she whispered.
Her name rolled off his lips like the sweetest secret he had ever kept. "Why are you sad?" he asked, concerned by what her eyes conveyed.
She hesitated, as if debating in her head what to say and how to say it. "I'm not sure I can tell you all my reasons" she admitted with sorrow. A small pang of disappointment inside him, but he knew that even in trust, secrets would exist. "I lost my protector, Aemond. He took my strength with him" she confessed. 
Understanding fell on him. He wanted to offer empathetic words, but he didn't know which ones would alleviate her pain.
Why was she grieving that farewell so much? As if he were a father... or maybe just a very good guard. He wanted to believe the latter, but the words he heard in the courtyard echoed in his head, making everything increasingly clear.
There was nothing more to say; he didn't want to torment her further by asking questions.
"My mother wants us to go to Dragonstone" she declared.
He spun around quickly to look at her, surprised by the news, causing her to give a small jump at the sudden movement. How could he be so unlucky? He had found the companion of his dreams, only a few moons had passed, and now he had to let her go?
"What? Why?" he asked, unable to hide his dismay, a knot threatening to form in his throat.
"I do not know" she murmured, shrugging with sadness, and the tears that he suspected had been accompanying her these days returned, filling her eyes.
"When?"
"In a fortnight, perhaps, when everything is arranged."
"You cannot leave" he protested, his voice trembling with emotion. "You cannot leave me. You’re my only friend."
"I do not want to go, but it's not my decision" she replied with the same helplessness as him.
"Please, ask your mother to let you stay," he said urgently, determination in his eyes, "I’m going to take care of you. I really am."
"You're just a boy" she denied.
"I'll be two and ten soon" he reminded her, taking her hands again in his, searching her gaze. 
"I'll train harder, I swear" he pleaded, not knowing what else to say. "I won't let anyone ever hurt you." His lips began to tremble, and tears fell from her green eyes, sliding down through  flushed cheeks. He felt a deep pain in his chest at seeing her like this, and he didn't want to make this any harder for her, but he wasn't ready to lose her.
"Please" he whispered, begging.
"I'll talk to my mother, but I cannot make you any promises" she warned.
It was enough for him for now. He clung to that small hope, determined to fight alongside her and for her through whatever challenges fate had in store for them.
“Would you stay with me tonight?”
@callsignwidow @helaenaluvr @purplegardenwhispers ♥︎
103 notes · View notes
Text
Mistakes and regrets
☆ Pairing: Loki x Reader
☆ Synopsis: Loki is a prisoner that sees his way out through pretending to date you, but when he finds true love he doesn't know how to deal with the guilt of making a very similar damage to the one that had been done to him when he was used for what originally were selfish reasons.
☆ Word Count: 10.5k, I think that's my longest fic yet, and written in the shortest time lapse, not sure what that says about my mental stability rn.
☆ Notes: As I proofread I noticed this could be interpreted as generational trauma, sort of... given I made Loki sort of mirror what Odin did to him. But I wasn't trying to be deep, I just felt like shit during the week and used this to cope. The fic might be cringy as a result, I am honestly not sure.
☆ Warnings: Depression and guilt are the focus points of this storyline. Loki starts is kinda toxic his behavior here isn't meant to be romanticized or intended to be extrapolated to real life, I just wanted to explore a narrative surrounding poor decisions and the dealing of its consequences. The reader is kinda a Mary Sue of sweetness but I just wanted to hammer in Loki feeling bad and guilty. I don't know if this is a trigger but I touch the vault scene of Loki and Odin and Odin being forgiven is also handled, Idk if that's trigger warning worthy but I know most of the fandom hates him.
Tumblr media
“You’re not making it any for me brother.” Thor spoke through the glass.
“I want my freedom, brother.” Loki sighed, sitting down on the uncomfortable bench. “Don’t think of me as ungrateful, but as much as I appreciate not being executed, I can’t exactly call this a life.”
“Director Fury insisted, I’ve tried explaining to him that New York was a complicated situation. But he wants to be sure you are not a threat to Earth– uh, Midgard.”
“You've surely adapted well to living here” Loki rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”
“Cooperate with me, I brother” Thor begged. “I want to help you, but I need you to help me first.”
“I’m not sure what I am expected to do from here” Loki huffed annoyed.
Thor sighed and gave his little brother a sympathetic look. Loki was frustrated, and he couldn’t blame him. He would be too if he got brainwashed, had all his anger, sense of betrayal and resentment exploited to torture an innocent planet, and still be the one to pay for said crimes… Sure he wouldn’t be all jokes and laughs.
“I’ve been negotiating a way to test your stability and get your freedom” Thor smiled hoping to cheer up his brother. And he made Loki look up. “It’d be a bit uncomfortable at first. But I know you can prove yourself. You’d have to wear cuffs or a while, but you’d be free to walk around with me and the others on trips to the city.”
“Hooray…” Loki rolled his eyes.
“Please brother, I’m trying, I just need you to be patient.” Thor spoke sadly as he made his way out. “I hate this as much as you do.”
“Do you?” Loki said. “As far as I know, you’re not the one in a crystal cell.”
“Alright, almost as much as you do.” Thor joked softly and Loki did chuckle weakly.
He agreed that Thor had been furious. But it all happened so fast.
Thor had managed to land a fatal blow on Thanos’ chest and soon Steve, Natasha, and Bruce had arrived to back him up and retrieve the Infinity gauntlet. They opened a portal to bring back Tony, Doctor Strange, and the Spider Ling… And surprisingly a weird group of space travelers.
When Thor realized they could travel to anywhere in the universe they opened a portal to rescue the Asgardian ship. There were a lot of severe wounds but surprisingly Thanos had failed, he underestimated the strength of Asgard, and most people could be saved.
“Thor!” Valkyrie screamed and rushed to hug the king.
“Valkyrie! You are alright! Thank goodness!” Thor smiled in relief and hugged his friend.
“Thor you have to come quick!” Valkyrie urged him. “It’s Loki!”
Thor’s heart sank, his heart couldn’t stand burying the only family member he had left. Thor had lost his parents… he had seen his whole planet die. But not his baby brother. Not Loki. Not again.
“Please… not now… Let’s treat the wounded ones first…” Thor spoke with a knot on his throat. “I want to focus on saving lives first.”
“Thor, you don’t get it! He’s alive!” Valkyrie scolded him. “But he’s in a critical state! We need to take him to a safe place to treat him.”
A tear streamed down the new king’s face, and he felt as if he had finally put down a enormous boulder he had been holding onto. He didn’t lose Loki.
“Take me to him!” Thor urged them.
Valkyrie took Thor to a damaged room in the ship that had been used as an improvised infirmary. In the corner laid a figure Thor knew too well being treated by healers.
“Brother!” Thor said. “Oh Gods… You’re alive…”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily thunder brain… ugh…!” Loki joked weakly as he groaned in pain. The healers begged him not to move as they tried stabilizing his condition. His neck had been nearly obliterated.
It was a miracle Loki hadn’t died and that the healers had managed to find him on time.
“We couldn’t abandon him” one of the healers spoke politely to her king. “After all, it was because of you and prince Loki that Lady Valkyrie managed to evacuate the survivors. We apologize for not finding you, my king.”
“It’s no problem at all” Thor laughed in an uncharacteristically quiet manner. He was breathless. “Thank you for saving my brother’s life.”
The lady healer let out a sheepish giggle and bowed. Loki rolled his eyes, earning a lecture from the healers that were still treating him. King or not, Thor still had that charm that seemed to make most people swoon.
The reunion was interrupted by a group of soldiers that broke in with a logo on their uniforms that made Thor’s blood boil when they pointed their weapons at Loki. SHEILD.
They picked up the stretcher where Loki was laying in and took him away to lock him up.
Apparently, the news travel fast, but SHIELD travels faster, and hearing Loki was alive was enough to mobilize and capture the injured God and lock him in a crystal prison cell in a SHIELD base. If Loki had a coin for every time that happened… he’d have two.
He couldn’t say Thor didn’t do anything about it. He could hear the thunders and enraged screams from his brother, demanding for an explanation and Loki’s immediate liberation.
“I demand my brother is released immediately!” Thor yelled.
“You should consider yourself grateful we’re allowing your witches to go and heal that world-level threat! He would be better off dead!”
“Don’t you dare speak of my brother like that! Me and all of my people would’ve died if it wasn’t for him!”
Loki wasn’t sure if he was amused or if he felt bad.
It did stroke his ego being called “Asgard’s hero” in the middle of the yelling. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Nick Fury was just as loud as Thor when angry. He couldn’t complain much. It made it much easier to hear what was going on, which was good, he was too weakened to use his magic to spy on them.
The healers tending to his neck sure seemed awkward overhearing the fight. It must have been uncomfortable to be doing your job in a high security cell. So, he tried entertaining the healers as he could. Although all he got was a lecture when his magic drained his energy, and they needed him awake to monitor him.
Soon he got better, he but wasn’t allowed to be out of his cell. It was a bit nostalgic, in some dark and twisted way. It even made him want to fix his old horned helmet, even if Thor would call him a cow for wearing it.
And when things couldn’t get worse… he met you.
“It’s lunch time” a voice said in a weirdly friendly tone before you head popped by the entrance as you balanced a tray of food on your head in an attempt to amuse Loki. He wondered if there were buffoons in Midgard, but you always tried to draw a laugh from him… Tried.
“Tough crowd, eh?”
Loki couldn’t not be baffled by the way you talked to him. Although he couldn’t decide if that was because you surely knew his reputation as Midgard’s terrorist or because you always talked in a friendly and goofy tone in a maximum-security prison in a super-secret spy agency. You also seemed to be awfully young to be here, but you couldn’t be much older than the girl Barton took as his protégée.
“What’s on the menu today?” Loki asked in a more formal tone.
“Why the hurry?” you asked, “don’t tell me you got somewhere else to be.”
“You think you are a lot funnier than you really are” Loki rolled his eyes. “And it’s not very nice to make fun of someone’s disgrace.”
“I hear you think I’m at least a little bit funny” you smiled as you kept balancing the tray of food on your head.
“Please don’t drop my food, I’d like to have at least something to eat” he rolled his eyes.
You tripped on your feet, and he saw the tray falling down, you caught it last second with your shins, and gave him a little sheepish grin.
“Alright, alright, I’m impressed” Loki groaned. “Can I eat now please? Or is having you torment me part of some attempt to break me?”
“Why are you so moody?” you asked. “More than usual, I mean.”
“I’m starving, and you humans eat way too little” Loki finally admitted. “But that is still better than nothing… Please.”
You stopped playing around and you looked at him as you got the tray into his cell.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were eating so little.” You admitted.
“I barely have energy to cast small illusions, which would serve to entertain myself.” Loki complained as he sat to eat and you sat by the table and looked at him, you didn’t seem afraid, curious at most. You watched him eat and took his dirty plates by the end.
You weirded him out.
You always did something along the same lines; you came to bring him food, teased him a little and then left when you were gone. Although this time you had asked more questions about him. And you seemed more pensive while he ate.
And later that day he got a surprise. Usually, he just saw you to deal with you while he ate. But today you returned with a brown paper bag on your hands and a backpack, you never carried personal objects with you.
“What now?” he groaned.
You said nothing but opened the door to pass him food and slid the bag inside. Loki opened his end and grabbed the bag, it was warm, and it had a strong smell inside, he reached and pulled out a weird soft cushion with a white cover.
“Bur…ger? What this?” he asked as he read the yellow letters.
“It’s food” you smiled. “Cafeteria is closed until dinner, so I thought bringing you something else might boost your mood.”
“This looks like junk” he snarled, making you laugh.
“It’s something like that.”
Loki looked inside the bag and looked at you.
“There’s no fork.”
“You eat it with your hands” you smiled and pretended to grab a burger and bite it. “Like a sandwich.”
“What’s a sandwich?” Loki asked, making you laugh again.
Loki tried to take a bit, imitating your gesture, but you stopped with a squeaky laugh.
“Unwrap it first!” you laughed. “The white thing paper is not edible.”
Usually Loki would’ve argued more. But he had been really hungry, so he agreed.
“The taste is agreeable enough.”
“Try the fries!” you said eagerly.
“These yellow sticks?” he asked pulling out one fry from the bag, and you giggle once again, he was learning you were quite easy to amuse.
“Yes, the yellow sticks, they’re potatoes with salt and soaked in hot oil to cook them” you smiled.
“That sounds unhealthy” he said, but he surely didn’t pass up the extra meal, and while he’d never admit it, but it was tasty.
“It is on the long run” you agreed. “But you don’t eat these every day. It’s more like… something you eat when you particularly crave it. Like a treat.”
“What’s on your bag?” Loki asked, a lot more agreeable now with a full stomach.
“Ah, you said you didn’t have much to do” you said and passed him bag. “It’s a portable DVD player and old movies.”
“I understood the word portable from that whole sentence” Loki said in an obvious tone.
He wasn’t new to technology, but unlike Earth, Asgard only used technology for practical purposes like travel and fighting. Never for entertainment.
“You can watch recorded over produced plays on the screen” you said adapting to what Loki might be familiar with. “Fury said you can’t have access to internet, so I thought since I don’t use this anymore it’d keep you entertained while Thor negotiates your freedom. And if you need something else, I could surely get it for you.”
Loki was trying to process it all while he followed your instructions to set up the devices you brought him. Now he’d finally give some use to the electricity plugins on his cell.
“Why are you so nice to me?” Loki asked.
“I don’t know” you shrugged. “You seem like you could use some kindness.”
“I’m a charity case?” Loki asked, not sure if he was thankful or offended.
“You wish. If I was charitable, I would’ve brought a fancy brand of fast food, and you’re a good junkyard to bring my old stuff” you snarled, making Loki laugh, for real this time.
Your cheeks flushed and were soon surrounded in a clod of silver mist. And when it disappeared you had vanished already.
Now that… Loki didn’t see coming. He had heard of your kind when he took control of some of SHIELD agents, humans with supernatural abilities. You were a mutant, and for the looks of it, one with teleportation powers. Now it made sense why someone seemingly so ordinary was in a place like this, flirting with a prisoner.
Interesting.
The next few days you kept bringing him food as usual, but two things had changed. One, the portions were bigger now, Loki now got to eat to a point where he was satisfied. Two, you joked around a lot less, in fact, you simply brought the food and stayed nearby in silence, and Loki had caught you staring at him with rosy cheeks.
So, you did fancy him… Truly interesting. And quite flattering too, he at least had to agree you were quite appealing to stare at.
“I watched one of your… Dee Bee Dees…” Loki started the conversation while he ate. “The one with the funny doctor…”
“That… doesn’t narrow it down much” you finally spoke. “Sarcastic asshole with a wounded leg?”
“He is sarcastic, but he treats patients with joy and laughter and goes against the rules. Like the pair of legs at the entrance” Loki specified. “It was a sweet story… I did feel bad for him when he lost his… you know.”
“Ah, yeah…” you said sadly.
For a few more days, the routine kept like that, you seemed a lot shyer than before and now Loki was the one pursuing your attention and with an arsenal of movies you had watched he always had a way to start conversation.
When he was sure he had properly understood your interest in him, he made his move.
While Loki wasn’t as flashy as Thor, he never had much trouble swooning anyone of his interest, with years of etiquette lessons and nourishing his mind with the most exquisite novels and books Asgard had to offer he knew how to charm anyone he desired.
And soon enough he was courting you. He recited for you the collection of the most exquisite verses he had memorized and casted his illusions of roses and butterflies for you to enjoy a romantic set up.
Soon Fury had two people demanding for his liberation. And since Loki had been in his best behavior Fury didn’t have an excuse to keep Loki locked up and while he had a tracker on his ankle and Asgardian magic bracelets capable of suppressing his magic.
You were there when they let Loki out and he made sure to hug you first. The more in love he seemed, the sooner he’d be truly free. You melted against his embrace and wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug.
Loki felt a light tug on his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time someone out of his parents and Thor been so eager and happy to hug him.
“I had been dreaming of this…” you spoke softly. “And your hugs are even cozier than I imagined.”
That felt like a dagger to his heart. Why were you so sweet?
“Alright, Bambi, if you try something your little sweetheart will let us know right away, got it?” Tony warned him.
You wrapped your arms around Loki’s bicep pressing yourself against him.
“He’s gonna be perfect” you defended him. “And if I’m wrong you can lock me up as well for helping a criminal out.”
Second dagger. What kind of idiot were you trusting him so blindly? Could you really not see he just wanted his freedom?
Loki finally had a proper room, or something like that. He would be staying in the Avengers Compound when the Helicarrier landed… until then there was a room where he, Thor, and basically everyone stayed.
Your bed the one right above Loki’s. Loki sighed. Just a few more days. Loki laid down and saw you looking down at him, peeking from your bed with big sparkling eyes.
“Yes?” Loki said in his best sweet loving tone.
“S-Sorry…” you mumbled as your cheeks got red. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”
“Aww, young love…” Kate cooed.
“SHUT UP! I’M OLDER THAN YOU!” you screeched and threw a pillow right at her face, making Loki smiled softly.
“You’re both babies…” Yelena grinned.
“Shut up, you hag!” you and Kate argued.
“You’re all babies…” Bucky corrected.
“DON’T STICK YOUR NOSE, YOU FOSSIL!” the three of you argued.
“I’m… not gonna join this argument being 1,500 years old” Thor laughed and soon eased the mood in all laughter again.
Meanwhile Loki wouldn’t stop thinking what you said to him. “I’m happy you’re here.” Third stab… How could you be so happy and attached to him so easily and quickly?
The next few days he had resigned to adapt to train with you. He had been a warrior all his life, but being a soldier was too boring for him. It was a lot of training, gym workouts, more training, and meetings. He saw you nodding off during the latter. Where did you pull the energy to play and joke around with him when you went to bring food to him while he had been locked up?
You yawned and rested against his shoulder as you dozed off during lunch once. You were so warm and trusted him more than he deserved. You seemed awfully comfortable around him.
Every spare moment you had was dedicated to him, you were awfully cuddly and touchy. Loki wasn’t used to this in the slightest. At first playing along seemed impossible. But your kisses were so gentle and tender, more often than not he found his eyes fluttering close and his hands wrapping around your waist in a loving way. Even sharing a room with a lot of people seemed more fun if he got to study your reactions.
“Take that!” you screamed as you and Kate smacked each other with pillows, but when a stray pillow hit Natasha in the back of the head, it was war.
Everyone was throwing and hitting each other with pillows until someone pushed you to Loki’s arms who had stayed out of the war as just a bystander. No one seemed to be paying much attention to him, but now you were.
Your face was beet red, and you were blabbering apologies if you had hurt him, (which, you hadn’t). But Loki simply smiled and grabbed your sides and started squeezing them, causing you to squeal and burst out laughing.
Oh, of course you were ticklish, he should’ve known. Hel, you irradiated this aura that just screamed “tickle me!” And as the God of Mischief, he was drawn to ticklish little things such as yourself, to make sure he could exploit every ticklish little inch of your giggly body. It had always been a pretty harmless way to ease his need to cause mayhem.
Soon the entire room was in fits of laughter since Loki had unintentionally inspired a tickle war.
“H-Hohohohoney! Pleahahahahase!” you begged Loki, “thahahahahat tickles!”
“So? I hope it doesn’t bother you, my dear” Loki purred in your ear as his fingers traveled up and down your ribs, causing you to screech. “I think I’d like to play with my pretty little toy some more…”
“Nohohohoho! Please! Hehehehehe! S-Stop it!” you giggled until you had proofed to reappear at the top bunk bed, right by the time someone else had surrendered and called truce.
Thor. His stomach was sore from laughing and he needed a break. But the big Asgardian was confident enough to not be affected by being the one to surrender in such harmless play fight.
“I’m nostalgic” Thor laughed. “Reminds me of the sleep overs with Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif.”
“I wouldn’t know, I was never invited.” Loki said.
“WHAT?!” you gasped and threw a pillow at Thor’s head in Loki’s defense. “JERK! TO YOUR OWN BROTHER!”
“What do you mean?” Thor asked. “You rejected us every time.”
“What are you talking about? You never invited me, brother” Loki explained. “By the time I had found out, you were all locked in your chambers.”
“Sif and the guys always said you said no” Thor said. “That’s why I always made smaller sleepovers with just you and me. I thought you hated big groups.”
Loki never thought Thor had been clueless, if anything he thought it had been him who rejected him, it never occurred to him it was the rest that orchestrated Loki’s exclusion. It made sense in retrospect, they were more Thor’s friends, not Loki’s.
“I enjoy time to myself,” Loki agreed. “But I’ve never been against big events. I always thought it was you who didn’t want me near your friends…”
“Of course not, brother…”
“Don’t feel bad, Loki” Yelena said in a tone that eased the mood. “Nat used to have sleepover with friends and ban me from her room the whole night. But we’re sisters, adopted or not.”
“I said I was sorry, and I was 11 you resentful crybaby!” Natasha argued with a laugh.
You noticed that had hit a sensitive spot-on Loki and went to sit behind Loki to give him a hug from behind. And it was unexpectedly comforting, he sighed as you kissed his cheek. Growing more and more used to your doting affection, you were also rather good to read his mood by now.
It just made him feel more guilty, so he tried changing the subject.
“You poof around when tickled, hm?” Loki chuckled. “Noted.”
“Not just when I’m tickled, when I get worked up by almost anything…” you explained. “I can’t always control it.”
“I see… so, I get you all worked up…” Loki flirted, making you jolt and squeak with a red face. “Heh… I’m flattered.”
“What about you?” you asked when you calmed down, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Does something like that happen to you?”
“Mmm… my magic is also very tied to my feelings is mostly surges of magic when I’m pissed off.” Loki shrugged. “In a way, the source of my magic abilities come from my control of how I feel. Which is why Thor could never learn sorcery… he couldn’t ever keep calm and focus enough.”
It felt a bit of a cheap answer, his guilt told him you were always vulnerable with him. There was another thing…
Alright, now that no one was paying attention to you two.
“When I was little, I used to have a lot of nightmares, and my mother stayed with me and taught me this spell… it allows you to invite someone else to your dreams, to put it simply. She taught me that spell to help me with the bad dreams… And sometimes I still cast it involuntarily while I sleep. It’s… what’s the word? Automatic, at this point.”
“You haven’t used it since we met” you pointed out.
“There’s these preventing that” Loki wiggled the magic cuffs on his wrists, and you shrank sheepishly. “Maybe one day I’ll have you sleep visiting… who knows…”
You smiled too eagerly at the idea… it was painful to see the adoration in your eyes.
The next night you were chatting happily, you laid on the floor with your feet hanging on Loki’s bed. Surprisingly he didn’t mind too much, he found himself much more engaged on the conversation. He simply rested his hand on your shin, caressing it with his thumb.
But at some point during the chat his hand brushed by your ankle, something that should’ve caught his attention way sooner. A location tracker like his. He brushed his fingers along the band, and you jolted, quickly making a bad excuse before rushing out. A terrible liar dating the god of lies. How ironic.
“I didn’t know… I thought I was the only one with one of these…” Loki pointed to his tracker.
“All mutants and non-SHIELD affiliated have one” Tony explained with a yawn. “Basically, if you have superpowers, you have two options, be an agent or an avenger.”
“Or locked up” Loki concluded, and the way no one answered, confirming his suspicion.
“You’re gonna be joining us, right, brother?” Thor smiled.
“Do I have a choice?”
Loki chuckled, he had been thinking about this prior to this information, the fear of actually losing his brother when Thor was ready to leave him forever in Sakaar had been too great.
But what about you? You didn’t strike him the superhero style, a were a fragile and sensitive little thing, and he couldn’t picture you in the battlefield, but being a soldier was clearly taking a huge toll on you. You seemed perpetually exhausted living like this.
“Has my darling decided yet?” Loki asked, he didn’t plan on the pet names, but it felt weirdly natural as it rolled off his tongue. It felt right.
“Not before meeting you, we had tried, but I’d say with you two together… things have changed for the better.” Steve assured him. “It’s a relief though, you two would be great assets in the future, and the life at the compound is bit freer and more independent.”
For some reason, Loki smiled at the sound of that.
“It’s gonna be for the best” Bruce smiled. “Fury can be quite severe, and the soldier life isn’t for everyone…”
Loki couldn’t see you long term here, you’d be overworking yourself for a lifestyle too demanding and that you didn’t even like. It would be for the best to be an Avenger… at least that’d give you some more freedom.
By then, the mood had died down and everyone went to bed, turning off the lights way before you arrived. A few more minutes passed… and nothing. Loki considered going to find you when you opened the door, guiding your way with your phone’s flashlight. You had a messy damp ponytail, and baggy pajamas. You arrived and sat by Loki’s bed and immediately collapsed right beside him, invading his bed. He was ready to climb and use yours when you he felt a tug on his shirt.
“Let me stay with you…” you mumbled with your eyes closed, it seemed you still had some consciousness.
Loki nodded and laid down beside you, wrapping his arm over you, and tucking you under the bedsheets. He had to keep appearances. Yeah… Of course.
He studied you for a while. Your hair was soft, and it smelled like wild berries, shampoo he had started using as well because it smelled so nice. Your skin was soft and smooth, it was addictive to trace his fingers along your body. He traced circles along your side.
“Nooo… thahahat tickles…” you giggled and shifted in your half-asleep state, making something stir within Loki. “You can tickle me all you want in the morning, okay baby…?”
“Ohoho! Is that so?” Loki chuckled. “That’s dangerous thing to offer to the God of Mischief don’t you think?”
“’s okay… I trust you…” you yawned snuggling against his chest.
“Y-You do…?”
“You’d never do anything to hurt me…” you assured him, even with your brain fighting with all it’s might to not succumb to exhaustion.
Once his eyes adapted to the darkness, he stared at your face. Your features were gentle, with a pureness that only a heart that hadn’t been corrupted with cruelness and malice would have. It made him feel weak.
“I love you” you mumbled, kissing his lips before finally falling asleep with the most peaceful smile he had ever seen on anyone that was this close to him.
“I… I love you too…” he whispered and kissed the top of your head.
Now Loki genuinely wanted to stab himself through the chest, he deserved nothing less.
The next morning was the last time he’d be in the Helicarrier for a long time if he could help it. Both of you got the trackers removed and he was officially free. The magic cuffs were taken off of Loki and he immediately summoned a huge illusion that had a radius of a few kilometers as he stretched and showed off.
A huge double rainbow, oh how he had missed using his magic like this. He noticed your eyes sparkling in admiration.
Thor helped him unpack and you two were assigned neighbor bedrooms so the lovey dovey couple could stay close. You seemed ecstatic, you set your room and invited him to see it.
It was very much what he expected from you. Cozy and cute, just being inside made him want to lay down on your bed and sleep. And of course you had a pile of stuffed animals. He laid back on your bed, sinking in the mattress and fluffy covers.
Adorable.
“Honey bunny, I’m gonna go to the city alone today… don’t follow me” you warned him and proofed away before reappearing for a second. “And don’t snoop around my stuff! Love ya!”
And you disappeared in a gust of silvery white mist. Loki napped on your bed for a while, but… he couldn’t resist, he was curious by nature. He walked by your desk and saw the mirror of had a bunch of photos of him stuck to the board, he wasn’t smiling in any of them, and most had been taken him by surprise. Loki would’ve thought it weird, but the two of you were dating. And you only did what was normal for someone in a relationship. He smiled softly at how purely infatuated you were.
“Loki!” you called for him, so you had returned. He went to find you.
You had smiled so brightly as you jumped to his arms and showered his face in loving smooches.
“I missed you!” you smiled between kisses.
“You just left an hour or so…” he chuckled.
“It’s still too much time away from you!” you snuggled with him. “I missed this pretty face.”
“Heh…” he chuckled.
“I bought us something.” You smiled and handed him a golden bracelet with a round item on the middle. You kept the silver one. “It’s a distance touch bracelet.”
You touched your bracelet, and he felt his buzzing. Oh. He knew this couldn’t have been cheap. And you still didn’t hesitate to get it for him.
“Now you can feel me close, even if I vanish, or if we can’t be with each other.” You giggled.
His heart fluttered. How could there be someone so overly sweet? To him, of all people.
“Thank you…” he smiled.
Days passed and Loki’s sanity was evaporating in thin air. Guilt was eating him alive.
You were in truly, madly, and hopelessly in love with him. You wanted nothing but the best for him and you always showered him with love, affection and the sweetest kisses he had ever tasted. And worst of it all, he was falling in love with you. He deserved no love from you, but he had it… And it filled his heart with a warmth he didn’t deserve. Oh, you poor lovely thing, if you only knew how cruel his intentions had been to start your relationship.
He did what you wanted now, trying to make up for it. He didn’t want you to feel like you did all the job in a relationship anymore. Soon the photos were more couple y, of kisses and hugs, Loki took photos of you more as well. He invited you to read and nap with him.
He tickled you lots, and making you giggle in his arms as he held you close. He hugged you tight, trying to squeeze in all the love he had develop for the kind soul that had been nothing but sweet to him. In a wordless pray for your forgiveness.
He did everything that occurred to him would make you happy.
“No way! You’re ticklish?!” you gasped with an ear-to-ear grin.
“Terribly so, I can’t stand being ticked in between my ribs” he smiled as he rested his chin on your head, with you sitting on his lap. “My magic acts up on its own if I get overwhelmed, like you.”
“Really?” you giggled and caressed his sides. “Can I try?”
“For a kiss…” he smiled and puckered his lips for a smooch, which you complied with a huge grin. “I adore you… Fine, you got one minute to tickle my ribs.”
“Just one minute?” you whined with that lovely smile of yours.
“Thirty seconds?” he smiled.
“Eh?!” you whined. “One minute!”
“See how convincing I am?” he grinned.
“Oh, you—” you said and turned around to start poking and prodding his ribs, Loki couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
“Ack! Hehehehe!” he whined, you were too good at this, he was laughing his heart out. “S-Stohohohop! Hehehehe! I-It’s been a minute! Hahaha! S-Stop!”
“I’m not done with you, you pretty tease!” you giggled and kept prodding between his ribs.
“Oh yeheheah?!” he laughed and skittered his fingers along your belly.
You were squealing and giggling in the blink of an eye. But you didn’t stop tickling him.
“Hehehehe! Hic! G-Give up!” you giggled and squirmed as you prodded his sides.
“You give up! Hahahahaha!” he giggled squeezed your tummy and skittered his fingers along your armpits.
“Ack! Noohohohoho!” you whine and squeezed above his kneecaps, making him jump and ergo you fell off his lap and onto the couch.
“You’re in trouble…” he grinned and his fingers, poked, drilled, kneaded and scratch over every sensitive spot on your body, and it didn’t matter if you gave up. He didn’t stop until you were breathless.
Only then he stopped and held you in his arms.
“Remind me to not tickle you again, you’re sadistic” you smiled.
“You know it, darling…” he smiled and kissed the top of your head. “Did you have fun?”
“Mhm…” you smiled and leaned against him. “I love you.”
You were beyond ecstatic. You melted under all of his affection and more time he spent with you, the more he couldn’t deny his feelings for you.
He did it everything he could to make you happy. But nothing he did alleviated his guilt. He could only imagine the amount of heartache you would feel if you found out he had only used you to try looking better adjusted and be free, and that he had pretended to fall in love.
He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. He was going insane. He walked around the compound like a ghost during the night. He did a stop to throw up in the toilet.
“You’re awake,” you surprised him despite your gentle tone. “Is something bothering you?”
“N-No, love. I just wasn’t feeling very tired.” He assured you. “Don’t worry. Go back to sleep.”
You placed your hands on his hips and leaned closer to him the way you did whenever you were going to kiss him. But you took a little sniff—probably smelling his bad breath—you stopped and smiled at him with kindness.
“Mmm… Insomnia, hm?” you smiled and pulled him to the kitchen. “I know just the cure.”
You heated up water and prepared him a tea with honey. The warmth of the drink ran through him as the sweet drink got rid of the bad taste, and he sighed a tear streaming down his face.
“What’s wrong?” you asked, cupping his face.
“I’ve done so many awful things… And…” he spoke softly. “I don’t know how to fix them… I don’t deserve any forgiveness…”
“Oh Loki…” you hugged him. “No one blames you… you didn’t mean it… I’ve seen your pretty heart, and you deserve all the love in the world… Gosh, if I could take all the pain, you’re feeling for myself, I would.”
“Please don’t say that…” he begged. He couldn’t handle anymore guilt, but he didn’t know how to tell you the truth.
You gently guided him to your bedroom and tucked him in your bed, wrapping your arms around him in a protective way.
“Forgive me love... Please forgive me…” he begged between mutters. “I take it all back… please… Please don’t hate me… please…”
“Shh…” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. “It’s all gonna be okay… I’m always gonna be here for you.”
               Between the warm tea, his exhaustion, the previous sleepless nights, your comfortable bed, and your loving touch… his body gave up on him and he fell asleep.
Everything was dark, and cold, covered in ice and a cruel wind. Loki had a good tolerance to cold, but he was freezing.
“Monster…” a voice echoed so loudly it made Loki’s ears ring. It was his own voice and it came from everywhere around him.
“Traitorous rat…”
“Murderer…”
“Beast…”
“Liar…”
“Frost giant…”
“Monster…”
“Manipulator…”
“Liar…”
“We finally had someone’s trust…”
“Of course, you just play around with others!”
Loki was completely surrounded by copies of himself, all at least twice his size, blue skin, Jotun attire, and eyes red like blood. True frost giants.
Loki simply took every blow and insult. He deserved them.
“Loki…?” a different voice called. “Is this what you meant by inviting someone to your dreams?”
No please… you couldn’t be here.
“Darling… wake up… please don’t be here…” Loki begged you. “Please…”
“I’m not leaving you here on your own…” you spoke and kneeled beside him.
Loki felt his body change, every muscle vanished leaving him as practically skin and bones. Small. Weak.
“Loki… what’s going on?! What’s happening to you?!”
Loki tried to shapeshift back to his natural look, but he had no control of his own body. At this point in life, he should be desensitized to nightmares where his magic didn’t obey him… but…
“Please… leave me here…” he spoke as he could, but he could barely hear himself.
“Don’t say that... What’s… what can I do for you?”
There was something about dreams, and especially Loki’s dreams, that always seemed to be extra dramatic. It must have been so confusing to be in one as an outsider.
Loki’s body changed again, he grew twice his usual size, and his body was blue and muscled. Exactly the body of a Jotun.
“STOP BEING SO GOOD TO ME! CAN’T YOU SEE I DON’T LOVE YOU?!”
“What?!”
What?! No! That wasn’t true…
Loki tried to take it back, but he was in autopilot. He was in the passenger seat of his own mind.
“I DON’T LOVE YOU! ARE YOU THAT GULLIBE TO THINK I’D FALL IN LOVE WITH A MORTAL?! I HAVE BEEN USING YOU!”
“No… no, you're not… You wouldn’t…”
“I JUST NEEDED A COVER, TO SEEM WELL ADJUSTED ENOUGH TO NOT BE A PRISONER! AND YOU WERE ANNOYING ENOUGH TO BARGE IN DEFENSE OF ME! I’V BEEN PLAYING WITH YOU FROM DAY ONE! DON’T YOU SEE YOU ARE JUST A TOY?! YOU’RE PATHETIC!”
The look on your face was heartbreaking. You looked crushed.
“I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF A WAY TO GET RID OF YOU! I CAN’T SLEEP AND I WANT TO THROW UP THINKING I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU YET ANOTHER DAY!”
You curled up on the floor and Loki lifted you but your collar’s shirt.
“GET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD! I COULD NEVER LOVE A MORTAL AS UNNERVING AS YOU!” Loki screamed at you before slamming you against the floor.
“NO!” Loki sat up with a gasp and his body drenched in sweat. He looked around and saw you curled up on the bed, your back facing him. “Love?! Thank goodness… I’m so— Love, w-what’s wrong…?”
You were stiff and you had a hand on the back of your head. Loki shifted and stretched a bit and saw your face. Your eyes were full of tears, yet he had never seen you with such a cold expression in your face.
“My love… and what’s wrong?” Loki placed a hand over your arm, and you slapped it.
“Why did you say that?” you asked him.
“I d-don’t know… I wasn’t… I didn’t…” Loki stuttered. “My dreams are like that…”
“No. I mean, what you said was really specific. Why…?”
“I don’t—I don’t know why I—”
“Tell me the truth, Loki.” You ordered him. “Did you, or did you not pretend to love me for your freedom?”
Loki stayed quiet. He didn’t have the courage to tell you the truth, but he didn’t have the heart to keep lying to you. With that confirmation tears started falling down your cheeks again.
“Y-Yes but I—that was before…”
“Get out…” you spoke.
“What? No, darling, listen… I…”
“I don’t want to hear you.”
“Please love… let me explain…” he tried holding you.
That made you snap. You started hitting him, being a human it was impossible for you to harm him, but not once in his life had he felt more pain.
“DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TALK TO ME!”
“Darling please…”
“I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU EVER AGAIN! GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!”
He had no strength to fight you, he was defenseless as you kicked him out of your room, slamming the door on his face.
There were a few faces popping out of their door to try seeing what had happened and that quickly retreated back to their rooms. Loki had no choice but to go inside of his own bedroom.
The next morning, he nearly tripped on his way out with a box by is door. It was full of books, quills, a coat, photos of you together. And… the silver bracelet that matched his own. It tore his heart to shreds. He didn’t feel as guilty anymore. But remorse and the memory of how brokenhearted you looked was even more sadistic. He heard you crying often from across the wall.
A few days later the others started giving him dirty looks. Knowing you and considering that this didn’t happen right away he assumed they had found out after heavy interrogation and now everyone knew he had used you. Even Thor seemed upset, not angry, but he had this… disappointment in his eyes.
“I hate dealing with moving companies” Tony sighed as they all sat for dinner. “But Fury wants to have our little Houdini enlisted by the end of the week. It’s a shame… The kiddos enjoyed being around each other.”
“Tell me about it” Clint sighed. “Kate is devastated.”
“Speaking of devastated…” Natasha said as she stood up, and Loki would’ve sworn she was shooting daggers at him with that glare. “See if I can be more convincing about eating something, otherwise Fury will have a corpse enlisting.”
You were moving out? To become a SHIELD agent? But you hated being a soldier. Had he hurt you so bad that you preferred that lifestyle and ruin your life forever… than being around him?
This all felt awfully familiar. Loki excused himself and went to his room and lock himself inside. He closed his eyes, and part of him wished that they’d never open again.
“Am I cursed?” Loki asked, choked up by the last bit of hope.
“No.” Odin responded the worst thing he could've said him. A curse would've been better.
Loki placed the casket down, weakly, it suddenly felt like a very... very heavy thing to carry. And the weight stayed there, right on his chest even after the casket had been placed back at the pedestal.
“Then what am I?” Loki asked softly, afraid of the answer.
“You're my son.” Odin answered, and Loki doubted his own magic since he couldn't detect dishonesty in his father's words.
Clearly that was a lie. So why didn’t his magic detect that? Loki felt rage spiral out of control like a boiling pot.
“What more than that?” Loki growled, still trying to keep his composure as he walked towards his father that was by the stairs at the other side of the corridor. “The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?”
Odin looked him in the eye. Unable to deny it any longer. It had been to many years with that secret. As Loki walked closer, Odin just started at him in silence as Loki reached the stairs.
“No.” Odin finally said. “In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring— abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son.”
That felt like a dagger piercing the young prince’s heart. Out of all the things he was insecure about, it turned out he WAS an outsider. Out of all the things he could’ve been, he HAD to be a Jotun, a monster. Out of all the Jotun’s in existence, he was the son of the worst of them all. And out of all the reasons he could’ve been adopted for, was because even his own biological family didn’t want him… and his adopted family never told him any of this.
“Laufey's son...?” Loki finally managed to gasp out, he was choking up on his own tears. “Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?”
“You were an innocent child.” Odin said, sounding more exhausted by the second.
“No!” Loki begged his father, knowing that Odin was a strategic warrior. There was always a meaning behind his actions. “You took me for a purpose, what was it?”
But Odin didn’t answer. The physical toll of delaying his Odin sleep to prepare Thor to rule, preventing a war, the emotional toll of having to banish Thor and now… having his youngest child doubt his love for him because of his foolish decision of not telling him the truth earlier were overwhelming him.
The All-King saw with pain how the little child that once smiled at him with love when he picked him in his arms after the battle now saw him with fear, pain, and resentment.
“TELL ME!” Loki demanded loudly, no longer capable of remaining calm.
“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you.” Odin confessed.
That was the final blow to Loki’s poor heart.
“What…?”
A tool. All he had been adopted for was as an instrument of peace between Asgard and a race that everyone saw as blood-thirsty monsters.
“But those plans no longer matter.” Odin clarified.
“So, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up… here, until you might have use of me.” Loki inquired in pain.
“Why do you twist my words?” Odin asked softly.
“You could have told me what I was from the beginning.” Loki urged, desperate to makes sense of what easily was the worst day of his life. “Why didn't you?!”
“You are my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.” Odin said softly, in a fruitless attempt to calm his poor child’s heart.
“Wh— B-Because I-I-I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?!” Loki asked, flooded by all the scary stories about the frost giants growing up. All those times he and Thor played heroes as kids fighting those monsters.
“Don't...” Odin begged as his strength slowly abandoned him.
But Loki couldn’t listen anymore. The grief was too great, and the feeling of betrayal didn’t allow him to trust Odin anymore.
“It all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years.” Loki yelled as he started walking up the stairs to yell at Odin as the All-Father slowly lost his strength and started passing out on the stairs. “Because no matter how much you claim to “love” me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!”
Odin kept trying until his last second of consciousness to beg his son for help, forgiveness… anything. But he had been too weakened to dedicate his young boy some kind of love or reassurance as he fell prey to the Odin sleep, he had delaying for so long.
Now Loki encountered a similar dilemma. He had been stupid, dishonest, and selfish to someone who offered him nothing but unconditional love. He betrayed your trust and there was no way now that Loki could prove that despite his original intentions his love wasn’t any less real.
He laid down on his bed, with his arm draped dramatically over his eyes.
“Troubled, my son?” a voice spoke making Loki sit up.
“Father” Loki smiled softly. “I ruined it. I had the most beautiful love in my life… and I was stupid and lost it because of my own selfishness.”
“That sounds familiar” Odin chuckled. “You truly are my son, after all.”
“You had always been will always be my father…” Loki said the words he had denied for several years. “I never understand your reasons. Cruel as they were…”
“Not holding back against your old father, hm?” Odin laughed.
“Sorry…” Loki smiled softly.
“My original reasons were foolish, selfish, and even cruel as you rightfully… but I always hoped to do what would be best for the 9 Realms” he spoke. “But that didn’t mean the love I had for you wasn’t any less real. You are my son, regardless of the kind of blood that coursed through your veins.”
Loki smiled softly; it was weird. He knew Odin would have never say all that. But now, after growing up so much, he understood it wasn’t because he didn’t feel it, he had always been too proud and formal, too much of a king. And while imperfect, it was still his father.
“That’s why you never caught me lying when I called you my son or said that I loved you.” Odin spoke. “In my heart, you’ve always been my son.”
“I know, father” Loki smiled. “I’m sorry it took me so long to understand it.”
“I’m sorry I never told you before… I feared you wouldn’t take it well…”
“Me? I would never” Loki joked softly.
“We always loved you as our own” a female voice added making Loki turned around.
“Mother.” Loki spoke breathless. “I know… I know… I knew, I was just too scared I could’ve been wrong, and you didn’t…”
“You were too much of a charming kid not to love you” Frigga said compassionately. “Your little human surely thinks so too.”
Ah… that… Loki wasn’t so sure.
“I ruined it, I deserve nothing but the hatred and disgust I’ve earned from my darling.” Loki huffed out. “I manipulated, lied, and destroyed the trust of my love.”
“Dear, there’s nothing final in these matters…” Frigga smiled softly. “If that loved blossomed once, you may rescue it and nourish it again. But first… you need to apologize.”
“I don’t think I’m wanted anywhere near hearing range.” Loki explained.
“Do you think the love between your mother, and I always had a perfect relationship?” Odin smiled.
“Your father was too temperamental for that” Frigga intervened with a smile and both parents looked at each other with love. “But when you truly love someone and you make a mistake, you swallow your pride and make up for your wrongdoings.”
Loki smiled softly, he remembered it well. When Odin’s temper got the best of him because of the stress of being a king, Odin made sure to make up for Frigga know how truly sorry he was, and Frigga who already knew her husband’s temper was an expert on not letting her affect her, knowing it was never personal. She had truly been blessed with infinite patience given she dealt with three men with bad tempers and yet her kindness and loving nature knew no end. It was not rare to see Odin gifting Frigga fancy gifts and spend long hours apologizing and dedicating the day to her. It wasn’t the perfect arrangement, but no relationship was.
Loki chuckled softly.
“Thanks…” he smiled and both parents tended a hand to him with a smile. “I know what I have to do.”
Ready to say goodbye, Loki placed his hands on top of Odin and Frigga’s, and with that, the figure of his parents faded under a green light as Loki’s palms stopped glowing. Loki let out a little laugh as he wiped his tears.
His illusions had never been so benevolent towards himself, they were either torturous or for a fake sense of gloating and dissociation. But your compassion had changed him forever. He could use them for closure and to guide him with the stuff he knew but needed to hear. And… you deserved that at least.
He got up and went outside and went to a trip. It took him around an hour to get to the city and a couple more hours to get his several stops get several gifts. A lovely white bouquet of flowers, a box of your favorite chocolates, a necklace with a cute silver heart shaped locket and got it printed with a small photo, a copy of a photo he had carried from one of your first “dates” you got where you were giving him a small kiss in the cheek and cupped the other one, a symbol of your shared love.
On his way back, Loki held the original photo close to his chest and sighed. He prayed this would work as he was on his way to see you. He knocked on your door and hid his gifts behind himself, not even remembering he could’ve concealed them with his magic from how nervous he was.
His chest tightened as you opened the door, your eyes and nose were red, and your cheeks were stained with tears. Oh Norns… He had hurt you really bad.
“Love… Please… let me explain” Loki spoke softly.
“What do you need to explain, Loki?” you asked and sniffled, practically murdering him when you called him Loki instead of one of your lovely cheesy pet names. “That I was just a toy for you to play with and pretend that you loved me, so you’d be a free man? I got that quite clearly.”
You were ready to slam the door on his face, but he reached his leg to stop you. He nearly dropped one of your gifts. You looked at him confused, eying him up and down before sighing in defeat, opening the door he walked inside of your little room. He saw the little night table covered with used tissues and the bed’s decorative cushions were all over the place. It broke his heart.
“What do you want, Loki?” you asked tiredly as you sat on the bed, placing a cushion on your lap and against your chest.
“My darling, I was the biggest, most cruel and inconsiderate imbecile of all 9 Realms” he said, kneeling before you as he handed you the bouquet of flowers. You gently placed the flowers on your lap, still looking at him.
“It is true, that I was looking to just find a relationship to pretend I had adapted to living on earth” he spoke. “It was a selfish, shallow, and dishonest reason to make you mine… But I did it. It was heartless and there’s no excuse or reason for you to forgive that. But I beg of you to stay here… never speak to me again if you need, but don’t settle to a life of misery just to avoid me. I will happily accept being locked up in a dungeon for a hundred years, so you don’t see the likes of me again…”
He handed you the chocolate, and your gaze softened for a second as you saw the chocolate, he remembered which ones you liked the most. You opened your mouth to speak, but a gentle squeeze to your hands let you know Loki still wanted to speak.
He had caused all of this for not telling you the truth, and now he wanted to fully bare his soul to you now.
“You offered me boundless kindness, patience despite my flaws, understanding to my pain and sins of the past, laughter like I hadn’t enjoyed before, you fed with the most delicious and warm foods I had ever eaten, you showed me the concept of dates and you bared me completely vulnerable to your touch and heart and you bared yourself completely to me without fear of me…” Loki continued, as tears streamed down his face, drowning in regret. “And all I did was play with you and betray the trust your selfless heart gave me without asking for anything in return.”
He placed his forehead on your knees and sobbed, completely ashamed of what he had done to you. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness, but he felt like he’d die without you. And he’ deserve it.
“I don’t care” you finally spoke, and he looked up, he saw the tears streaming down your face. “You’re the God of Mischief and Lies, there are countless stories of how you lied and manipulated to get away with anything you wanted… I should’ve expected I’d be just that.”
“No— No, darling!” Loki held your hands and pressed his lips against your knuckles. “No, my sweet, you— I was selfish. I wanted a cover up, yes, but what I found was love, I found the butterflies in my stomach you always speak of. I found the warm of your hands lingering on my skin after our dates. I found myself awake during the night sighing over those lovely eyes I’ve now so cruelly filled with tears…” Loki spoke softly.
You were shaking in your place as you did your best not to cry and interrupt him. He brushed his finger along your cheek as in appreciation of your effort.
“None of what you heard that night was true in my heart…” he assured you “I never felt so disgusted I wanted to vomit; it was guilt that was killing me from the inside… knowing I was hurting such a beautiful flower.”
He handed you the heart locket and you opened it, seeing the photo made you sob as silently as you could.
“I was selfish and a liar. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me and want nothing to do with me again. But please know that my heart beats for and because of you only.” He spoke. “I fell hopelessly and irredeemably in love with you. I swear that on my life.”
You looked at him and smiled, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and sobbed now freely and unrestrained. Time seemed to stop for Loki as he hugged you back, taking in your scent and caressing you. Tears fell down his face and he held you, afraid you’d disappear if he let go of you.
You forgave him. He didn’t think he’d ever be so lucky to find a kind soul that would forgive even his worst mistake. But he found it, you were kind enough to do so. Your wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug and Loki was able to let all the pain and guilt go… He couldn’t undo his mistakes, but he could be better, and he wanted to be his best self for you.
“Thank you… Norns, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” he repeated over and over between whispers and tears as he held you tight.
You sat up straight and cupped his face and laughed softly as you still cried happy tears.
“You’re gonna have to buy me a new box of tissues, you booger” you joked softly with a sniffle, and pressed your forehead to his and grabbed a tissue to blow your nose.
“I’ll give you the entire world if you so desire, my love” he spoke with a gentle smile. “Just say the word.”
“I don’t need the world” you smiled and kissed his cheek. “I have everything I need right here.”
“What did I do to deserve you?” he chuckled softly as he grabbed a tissue to wipe his tears and blow his nose. “I’m a disaster and somehow I still found the most precious little dove all for myself.”
You held him tightly in a hug… in silence for a few minutes before you spoke again.
“Did you think I was annoying when we first met?” you asked with a stern look on your face. “I want the truth.”
“Truthfully… you were a nightmare…” Loki admitted in a soft playful tone.
“HEY!” you whined and dug your fingers into the crevices of his ribs making him burst out laughing. “I said honest, not mean!”
“Ehehehe! Lohohohohove, let me finish!” he giggled, letting you have this, it was the least he could do. “P-Please, s-stohohohop that! Not there!”
You smiled and went to tickle his belly. Oh, you had really not liked that.
“Plehehehehehease, dahahaharling! I surrender!” he laughed and did his best to not squirm.
“Fine… what is it?” you asked, as you sat sideways on his lap, already happily cuddling with him.
Thank whatever superior force that was out there… Oh, you’re a wonderful blessing.
“You’re a nightmare turned into a dream” he clarified and he didn’t even bother fighting the urge to squeeze you tightly.
“You have 3 seconds to explain how that’s a compliment o I’ll tickle you until you puncture a lung.”
“Ihihi— I mean like, when you start having a bad dream… but it turns around as the most wonderful of dreams, those that you still think about after waking up.” Loki said, and as those words he was sure he had fried his brain because he didn’t make any sense.
But that was enough for you.
“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You grumbled.
“C’mon… don’t be mad at me for being foolish and wrong” he smiled as he squeezed you tight. “Surely you thought I was insufferable at first as well, we’re so different after all.”
You smiled and shook your head.
“I love my pretty prince” you smiled and picked a tissue yourself to clean your face. “Flaws, differences, and all.”
“Do you, now?” he grinned cheekily. “I sure am a lucky one to be called yours.”
“A Loki one” you giggled, and Loki made a scowl of disgust. “Sorry! I thought it too late when I said it and— hehehe!”
“Oh, that was awful— C’mere… you!”
“W-What?! NO! NOHOHOHOHO! LOHOHOHOKI, STOP IHIHIHIT!”
As he made you laugh and held you against him, he couldn’t doubt how fortunate he was to be so undoubtedly yours.
| MASTERPOST |
64 notes · View notes
astromaxi · 1 day
Note
Hi!! I saw your post about being open to req's and was wondering if you could do a yandere jjk x reader one!
Snow leopard hybrid gojo would not leave my mind and i've been rotating a scenario in my head about reader smelling a bit too much of other men. But they aren't dating and gojo's is starting to go insane about it and so confronts reader bout it.
i mean you could do it without satoru being a hybrid, i don't really mind. i'm just craving for a yan gojo rn
I AM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE
HOLY SHIT- SCHOOL SUCKS
BUT I'M ALMOST DONE YAY
Warnings: slightly possessive Gojo, crappy writing, maybe full on possessive Gojo, Gojo having a scent kink thing, so mdi (?) 18+ (?), Gojo really loving your smell and but also calling you smelly (I’m scening a slight theme with my writing…)
As always lmk if I miss anything and this isn’t proof read so grammar mistakes 🫶
———-
Fem reader!
‘Jesus Christ I want to quit my job’ was all that was running through my head as I walked up the sets to my home, my feet crying out for relaxation after the horrible treatment of a 9-hour shift. All I want to do right now is to curl up in my bed and cry.
I open my front door, and at the same time, my phone starts to ring off. Huffing I close the door and set down my bag, I awkwardly shuffle through my pockets to see ‘Gojo’ lighting up my screen. An exaggerated sign escapes my lips as I answer the call. “Hello?” My horse voice spoke out, “I’m coming over! I see you off of work” a very happy Gojo responded to me, I looked down at my disgusting work clothes and the overall quality of how I felt, “Gojo- look, I don’t feel like hanging-“ “Great! I’ll be over in 5 minutes.” Was all I heard before the abrupt sound of the call being hanged up. I roughly made my way to my bathroom, if Gojo is coming over might as well look decent.
The thing with Gojo is, that he has been becoming increasingly clingy to me. Especially knowing days when I have work it’s almost as if there’s some sort of thing growing inside himself. I tend to brush him off whenever he buries his head into the crook of my neck, his long lengthy arms curled tightly around my stomach, or when he invites himself to stay the night but insists that I wear his clothes. I brush it off as Gojo being himself as he is usually very overly touching with everyone in his life- but sometimes- sometimes, it feels a little off.
I sighed as I heard my front door opening and closing I wrapped a large towel around my body. I run my fingers through my wet hair as I cringe at it being tangled up. I slip on an old hoodie and a pair of shorts, using the towel to dry my hair I set out of the bathroom and I’m immediately pushed against the wall nearby. My vision gets clouded by a mop of white hair and twitching light grey ears, as Gojo buries his head into the crook of my neck.
“Mm-Gojo!” I yelp in surprise as I place my hands on his solid chest trying to move him off of me
Keyword: trying
Gojo slips his hands down my arms, creating goosebumps in his wake as he grabs my hands with his own and places them around his midsection. His own hands find home on my hips as I feel an aggressive sign flow out of him. “M’ not Gojo, it’s ’Toru to you” his voice is horsed, and Gojo buries his head more into my neck- if that’s even physically possible. “You smell like other guys.” Gojo bluntly says,
I raise my eyebrows at him, my hands are mindlessly playing with his Snow White hair. “What do you mean ‘Toru?” I ask, the man-child before me lets out a groan. He raises his head from my neck and stares at me with his ocean-blue eyes. My heartbeat picks up as I feel my face heat up. Wordless Gojo tilts his head to the side, his eyes turn to something more obsessive. His pale hands travel up my body to cup my face, the air in my lungs gets stuck in there.
“You smell. Every day, every single day you always smell and it’s driving me insane.” He leans into me, our lips inches apart as his eyes dart down to my lips. “You should only smell like me, only be with me. I can give you so much baby.” His right-hand caresses the side of my face. I shake my head
“ ‘Toru you..” I let out a shaky sigh “You don’t want-“ “I know exactly what I want baby.” Gojo cuts me off, his breath growing more aggressive.
His lips move to the shell of my ear. “I want, no- need you baby. I need it so badly you don’t even know the depth of it” he whispers in my ear as he goes back to face me. “You need me to, I’ll prove it to you.” I nodded my head, allured to the words Gojo was feeding me, our lips connected as he immediately pressed the kiss. His arms cage me against this wall. My knees feel like they are going to give out.
“I’m going to show you just how much I need you baby.”
—————
A/n: this isn’t really that yandere, kinda forgot about that while writing this LMAO
65 notes · View notes
pagetsgirl · 20 hours
Text
bad day (drabble)
warnings: teeth-rotting fluff , and shitty writing
summary: Emily has a bad case, but luckily for her, she has an amazing wife who really knows how to take care of her.
a/n: english is not my native language, so i apologise for any mistakes!! also; my requests are open so don’t be afraid to reach out and request something <3
word count: 598
read on ao3 or below the cut
The case was in Texas, where the police department was filled with homophobic assholes who didn’t even know what 1+1 is. Safe to say, it wasn’t a good case for Emily, or anyone really. But now she was close to reaching home, she just wanted to dive into your arms, and let you take control.
You heard the familiar opening of the front door, followed by a heavy sigh when she took off the tight combat boots she’s been wearing all day.
You quickly made your way to the hallway, where you threw yourself into her arms, smelling the familiar perfume that you grew to love so much. The brunette wrapped her arms around you, and buried her face into the crook of your neck.
Of course you knew she had a bad case, as the two of you made sure to text the other throughout the day when the agent was away on a case.
“come on baby, how about we get you into a nice warm bath?” You say softly to your wife, knowing exactly what’ll help her wind down after a long week. “Yes please,” she replied softly, letting you take care of her.
You led her into the bathroom, never letting her go. As she undressed, you turned on the bath and let it fill with perfectly temperature water and good smelling bubbles, making sure to use the one that smells like vanilla, your go to smell, for extra comfort.
“Baby, could you maybe join me?” Her voice sounded so incredibly small, it was impossible to say no, especially paired with the puppy eyes she was giving you. You quickly undressed and slid into the tub, letting her settle between your legs. She let out a small sigh when the warm water eased the ache in her limps.
You two sat there in comfortable silence, until you started to softly massage the kinks out of her shoulders, causing her to let out a long sigh. Her eyes fell closed, and her shoulders relaxed as she laid into you even more.
You guys stayed there for around 20 more minutes, until the water started to turn incredibly cold. “Darling, we got to get out now,” you tell her. Emily softly shook her head. “I’m comfy…” she let out a soft yawn. “No babe, you’re going to freeze to death.” You softly pushed her forward, so you could get out of the tub, and grabbed a couple fluffy towels.
After both of you are wrapped into a towel, you grabbed two pairs of pj’s, making sure they’re both yours, so your wife wouldn’t complain about it. As you’ve made the mistake before, which resulted in you having to sleep on the couch (even though she’d join you about five minutes in).
Not even 5 minutes later and the both of you were wrapped in each other, limps being a tangled mess. “Baby…” She softly murmured. “Yeah?”
“Thank you for taking care of me,”
“I always will, pretty girl, I love you so much.”
She let out a soft giggle, just proving how exhausted she was. “I love you too, so incredibly much,”
“Good, now go to sleep, yeah? I’ll be there when you wake up, I promise.”
“Mmm, goodnight,” her eyes were already closed, and her breathing quickly evened out.
“Sweet dreams, my darling, I’ll always be there for you and I love you so much, I promise you,”
And just as you said that, Sergio sneaked into your bed and laid against your leg.
"I love you too Sergio," You said with a smile.
48 notes · View notes
rotzaprachim · 22 hours
Text
the jvp Seder plate discourse thing is bananas because I think there’s some interesting linguistic stuff going on in regard to: what does it mean to read Hebrew? I think the fact that the majority of Jews in many parts of the diaspora are not really comfortable with reading Biblical Hebrew is true, and it’s a deep communal problem imho related to a lack of access to sufficient and appropriate teaching and Hebrew education for maaaany Jews. I also think it’s really gatekeepery to say Jews HAVe to be fluent in Hebrew to be Jewish. However, there are levels of knowledge of Hebrew, and what interests me about an orthographical system being backwards, with vowel markings completely off kilter (and some letters doubled) is that it doesn’t indicate MISTAKES in the language but people having no cognitive recognition of the language itself.
(As pointed out, I also have a suspicion that these are mistakes no one comfortable with Arabic would make either, even if they did NOT know Hebrew, which adds flavours to the JVP. Even though the Arabic and Hebrew alphabets are not identifical they share roots and I’m not sure an Arabic writer would make the mistakes JVP made, thoguh this is an experimental question to investigate more than anything.)
but yeah I don’t buy it. One or two Jews who can’t recognize the letter orientation, sure, but a group at a major university? I think the idea the membership is majortiviely gentiles is absolutely correct. Not a top ten issue rn by any means but the fact that this organization got so much national attention for being… well… the Jewish voice for peace is deeply disturbing
53 notes · View notes
oldhalloweentape · 14 hours
Text
🪨Venture (OW II) x (gn) reader headcanons⛏️
(Start of Romantic Relationship Pt. III Edition!)
Tumblr media
(Not my picture!)
(Finally on Pt. 3!!! It’s only been a couple of days since I first started this but I digress— Anyways a friend of mine, @goohts helped me figure out some ideas for this one, and I’m extremely thankful to her for it!)
Warning!: A small nsfw mention!
(Pt. I) (Pt. II)
- To start things off, baking, everyone likes to bake right? Well uh, if you decide to bake with Sloane, you obviously have to handle the oven part… And the ingredient part.
- If you don’t, things may get… Messy, you see they don’t really know a whole lot about baking at first, so they’ll try to wing it and assume crap. Bites y’all in the ass if you don’t thwart it in time.
- Imagine having to stop them from dumping a whole cup (not even a measuring cup, a drinking cup) of baking soda into the mixture, trying to protest against this, claiming that, “It’s called baking soda— so, there should be a lot of it right?” No.
- Besides that, they’re a great helper nonetheless, quickly learning from their mistakes and even getting pretty good at it the more you guys do it.
- I can imagine them making a cake like the mud cake Max, from Max & Ruby, makes but with crushed up Oreos, gummy worms, rock candy, etc.
- Looks a little frumpy cause they’re just too excited to take the time to decorate it, tastes great nonetheless.
- Also, a serial batter licker, you have to stop them from doing it almost every single time you have to give them a spoon or a whisk.
- Don’t want them getting salmonella after all, though they probably think it’d be a thing they’d die honorably for, that or between your thighs but like—
- I think they’d consider baking as a personal bonding activity between the two of you, and even if you don’t know how to— That’s cool! They don’t know either! You can learn together!!
- They definitely devour everything you make for them, if you char it— They’re used to eating rough stuff anyways, and leave NOTHING on that plate, that goes for more than just baking.
- Prefers sugary things, if that wasn’t obvious already. Brings a little baggy of candy with them wherever they go, preferring gummies.
- If you ever made them gummies yourself? They're already planning where to propose to you in their the second you give them the bag and tell them they’re homemade.
- Anyways, outdoor dates again with this one, cave exploring. Oh they’d just love to do that with you, probably suggests such a date like that when you both are celebrating your 6th month anniversary together.
- To say they’re excited is an understatement, traversing underground, being in the presence of rock various and unique rock formations that took years upon years to be where they are today and see it with you?? Oh yeah they’re living the dream.
- They’re constantly fighting the urge to break away from the group and run around, see everything the cave has to offer. It’s like seeing a kid in a candy shop and be given unlimited access to it I swear.
- Excitement aside, they make a point to make sure you’re ok all through out the trip, giving you whatever you request. Just making sure you’re well hydrated or comforting you if you start feelings a bit cramped in there.
- Always makes sure you’re up for it beforehand, wanting you to have as much fun as they are.
- They take so many pictures in sections where it’s permitted, and a lot of them have you as the main focus or in the sidelines, naturally.
- That scrapbook I mentioned earlier is jammed full of so many photos, you have to get another one or two in like a year after getting the first one, can’t properly close by the time they’re finished with it.
- Again, they genuinely want your relationship to work, and they just want you to reciprocate. I mean, what is a serious relationship without that after all?
(Sorry that this came out a bit later than it usually does, just going through some life junk.)
26 notes · View notes
arthyghost · 1 day
Text
You managed to escape.
reader x john price
angst, little comfort
Hell? You're sure you know this place very well.
Three years.
Three years that you don’t remember what the sun feels like on your skin;
Three years that everything you loved was taken away from you;
Three years that you no longer know what peace is;
Three fucking years, that looked more like thirty. That looked more like an eternity, that looked more like a vision of hell.
But there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, and your light was when a new recruit made the mistake of feeling mobilized by you; the mistake of letting you feel the sun on your skin, the mistake of looking away from you for five seconds.
You thought you knew what it felt like to have the air taken out of your lungs, but nothing would compare to the feeling you felt when you ran from that van. Nothing would compare to the pain you were feeling in your throat, feeling the cold air by the adrenaline of running with all the force that was still in your body.
When you heard that you were in the city where your base used to be, you knew that would be your only chance. You knew if you didn’t try to run away at that moment, you’d never get a chance to see your friends again. Your family. Him.
So when the rookie let you out just to feel the sun on your skin after you said you hadn’t felt it in years, you ran. You ran through the streets like there was no tomorrow, and you honestly don’t know how he didn’t catch you; maybe he let you get away. The rookie. You secretly hope he’s okay.
You ran through the streets known to you, in the bright sunlight, feeling the tears coming down your cheeks for finally feeling freedom. For finally feeling the warm sun on your skin. Your feet ache with the warm asphalt, without being protected by any kind of footwear.
You turned street by street, sneaking into alleys that you knew were shortcuts, and finally you were there. You didn’t go to base. No, no, no; it was the most likely place for them to look for you, the streets on the way to the base were the first streets they would look for, and you didn’t want to risk it. You didn’t want to feel all that torture for years again.
So, you stopped in front of his door. You dreamed of that day for all the three years that you stayed in hell, but now... Your mind is spinning.
"Will he recognize me?"
"Does he still remember me?"
"What if he’s already moved on?"
Your crying was stuck in your throat, and you were trying to breathe firmly so you wouldn’t start hyperventilating. You knew if you thought more you’d just surrender to them again, then you just knocked on the door. You hit one, two, three times until your beats start to be desperate. You were afraid they’d come back.
Your mind was confused, you would easily surrender to them again if he did not recognize you, but you were so afraid of them finding you.
As millions of thoughts pass through your mind, thoughts you didn’t know how to block, the door is opened.
The door is open and the only thing that predominates now is silence.
You stare at him, downcast. It seems he hasn’t slept in days, he had lost weight, and it looks like he was crying. The beard has grown, the hair is a mess.
Your situation is not much better and you know it. Your long hair that had not been properly washed for years, your loose clothes, which were clearly not your own, stained with blood; your blood. Your face was thin, dirty with dried blood and full of scars. Your dark circles were so deep that your face seemed deeper.
"Hey." you whisper, in an almost inaudible voice, looking at him.
Your voice is sore, and his eyes are full of tears. Yours too.
You finally made it. You made it back home, back to your home.
He is your home, and you have finally returned to him.
i already posted this on tiktok, but i wanted to keep it here too. so that's it: just pain and pain and maybe some comfort. ^^
29 notes · View notes
Note
Omg hi!! I was wondering if you could write maybe something will bill in like 2007-2009 with a girlfriend that's in the band? The rest of the band know they are together but the public doesn't know until they slip up(there was already signs but nothing was confirmed) and all the fan girls figure out , and they are already don't like the reader because shes a girl in a band with 4 guys, how would this affect their relationship?
I don't really request so I didn't know how to word this sorry
-🍰💫
ofc!! I hope that I understood your request correctly and that it turned out how you wanted! <3 ( this is btw my first ever fanfic on tumblr, so if there are any writing mistakes, I apologize 😭 english isn’t my fist language, but I’ll try my best!)
Tumblr media
Complications
„How do you do that?“ I asked genuinely interested the twin brother of my boyfriend, who was just playing something on his guitar again. He smiled at me. „Years of practice,“ he explained, whereupon I started laughing. I would probably never learn an instrument, I was just too impatient for that.
Warm hands suddenly wrapped around my hip and I immediately knew who it was. My cheeks had received a visible pink tone and my lips twisted into a grin. I felt Bill’s breath on my neck, which he kissed lightly. „Where have you been, babe? I missed you,“ he mumbled, whereupon I had to giggle and went through his spiky, soft hair with my hand. I wondered every time, how his hair could withstand all the chemicals contained in the dyes and all the cans of hairspray.
I looked into his pretty, brown eyes. “Where I have been? Where have you been! I missed you as well.” I said grinning. He lifted an eyebrow and a little smile appeared on his face. “I was running away from screaming girls and flashing cameras, just a normal day.” He said, sighing a little. Tom made a weird sound, which made my head turn into his direction. He was looking at us.
“Well, you guys know that you can’t hide your relationship forever. Sooner or later, it will come out. They will always find out.” Tom said with a little concern in his voice. My stomach twisted in an uncomfortable way and I shared a look with bill. I was pretty aware of that and I knew, that it was just a matter of time until everyone will know about our little secret.
“I know, but as long as we can, we will keep it undercover.” Bill said and I nodded in agreement. “I think that you’ll can’t do that for long anymore. They’re already signs.” Tom said and grabbed a newspaper from this morning. He handed it too bill and Bill opened the paper to find the article about the rumors. I looked too and there it was. It wasn’t so large so it didn’t got much attention, but it was still there.
„Frontman of Tokio Hotel was seen suspiciously close with the star-girl of the band! Could there be a possible relationship between the two? Does it affect the band? ...“ The article was not very long, but it was still visible and you immediately saw, that it was Bill Kaulitz in the photos. I was only seen from behind and my face was not great to see, yet we were close to each other. Slowly I shook my head and looked desperately at Bill, who seemed thoughtful.
„Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if we just dissolved it,“ I said, staring deep into the eyes of Bill, who also now looked at mine. He pulled his eyebrows together. „Yes, probably, but it’s not that easy. I don’t want to drag you in there.“ His voice seemed worried and slightly anxious, which immediately made my chest tighter. My hand found his cheek, which I gently stroked.
„Hey, everything will be fine, I’m sure of it. You don’t have to worry, Bill. I have you, I know you will always take care of me. You’ll see, everything will go great as soon as everyone knows!“ I said cheeringly, but Bill’s half smile he gave me didn’t reach his eyes.
My heart raced and I felt Bill’s hand holding mine tight. The black sunglasses only protect a little from the violent lightning storm, which took us from all sides. The next day had begun and our „little secret“ was no longer so small. Reporters stood on every corner, asking unpleasant questions that we avoided.
Bill kept looking down at me to make sure I was okay, but I was already used to it. I have been part of the band for two years now and since I joined the band in 2006, I have already been included in the world of the band.
„Just look! There’s his girlfriend!“ Suddenly screamed a girl, who had stood between the reporters and now behind her a huge crowd of fans came towards us. Fear spread in me and I now clung to Bill’s arm, who now also took faster steps. He bent down to me, which only made the snapping of the cameras louder.
„Don’t panic, we’re almost there,“ he said gently, which calmed me down a little, but still did not completely free me from the nervousness that was spread throughout my body. The last steps were now taken and we all quickly rushed through the door of the studio.
The first preparations for the new album were sue, which is why we had a lot to do and thus spent a lot of time in the studio. Bill sighed with relief when he took off his sunglasses and looked at me. I did the same. His hands now held my face, which immediately captivated me. „I love you,“ he whispered and now pulled me closer to let his lips dance passionately on mine. We ignored everything and it was nice until Tom’s call brought us to the here and now.
„Stop!“ He called and came up to us to pull us apart. Bill stared at his brother stunned and was just about to say something, but I put my hand on his mouth to stop him. It was dead silence.
„Bill,“ I whispered and took my hand from his mouth. „What-“ he stopped his sentence, when he looked in the same direction as me. A group of girls, all with their cameras, had caught us. In addition, a larger group of reporters. My shocked look was found by Bill, but he was exactly the opposite of me. He didn’t look shocked or scared. He looked rather relaxed and calm.
„It’s in the news.“ it now came from Georg, who had turned on the TV in the meantime. Goosebumps spread on my body and my hands found my face. „Shit.“ I murmured and now felt Bill’s cold hands, gently enclosed my hands and freed them from my face. A smile lay on his lips, which left me confused.
„Fuck it,“ he said, his eyes sparkled just like his black hair, which smoothly framed his head. „Everyone should know that you are all mine and I belong to you. From my sight, the whole world can find out! I stand by you and I think we should stop hiding our feelings. They will understand it sooner or later,“ Bill said and stroked his thumb over my open lips. He was right.
I blushed. „That was really sweet,“ I said smiling, which made him give me a toothy grin. He came closer and pulled me into a long kiss again. This time it didn’t matter that all the fan girls were still glued to the window and photographed and filmed every inch of our kiss, because we were no longer interested in the opinion of others. It only counted him and me, everything else was unimportant and I will proudly present, how much he means to me.
22 notes · View notes
jujumin-translates · 3 days
Text
★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 9 - Back to the Basics
Tumblr media
Woman A: Thank you so much~!
Woman B: We’ll keep on supporting you!
Chikage: Please get home safely.
Young Man: You guys showed me how cool actors are all over again! Thank you so much!
Boy: That was fun~!
Citron: It was our pleasure!
Towa: Thank you so much!
Izumi: No, thank you for participating. And it was all thanks to you that we even had the wonderful idea in the first place, Towa-kun.
Towa: --Actually, I was kinda hesitant about participating at first. I didn’t want to be a complete failure in front of Masumi-kun…
Towa: But I’m glad I took the risk ‘cause I had a blast!
Towa: And now that I know what kinda view Masumi-kun and the others see when they’re up on stage…
Towa: I feel like I know even more about how theater’s done and I feel like I know more about everyone too.
Towa: It’s like a whole new world has opened up for me!
Tsuzuru: When you put it like that, it makes it feel like the whole thing was definitely worth it, don’t you think, Masumi?
Masumi: Well, it’s not like you didn’t do your best.
Tumblr media
Towa: Oshi praise overdose…!
Izumi: Come and see our next play, okay?
Citron: We will see you then~!
Towa: Yeah! I’ll be there! Well then, I’ll be heading out now!
*Footsteps*
Rento: This event was a huge success even though it was our first time doin’ it.
Akashi: I… don’t usually get many opportunities like this… so I had fun…
Rento: It was nice ‘cause us backstage crew guys don’t usually get to interact with the audience members much.
Izumi: Thank you both for all your help today!
Rento: Just gimme a call if you’re doin’ anything like this again, yeah?
Akashi: Me too…
Izumi: Of course, absolutely!
Sakuya: We look forward to working with you again!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Izumi: …Everyone’s acting sure was lively and they all seemed like they were having fun.
Sakuya: I couldn’t help but remember the first time I stood on stage while watching them.
Tsuzuru: Same, it really is a nostalgic feeling, huh?
Citron: I could feel everyone’s excitement~!
Itaru: We were just like that when we first started out.
Chikage: Now that you think about it, we really have grown a lot.
Masumi: I was better than they were.
Tsuzuru: And for some of us, there’s parts that haven’t changed at all.
Sakuya: For me, I used to be so nervous just trying to read a single one of my lines. Half the time, all I could think about was which of my lines was next.
Tumblr media
Tsuzuru: I know, right!? I was always panicking because I’d be too busy wondering how I was supposed to be moving that I’d completely miss when someone else said their line.
Citron: I could say my lines when I was practicing by myself, but then I would always make mistakes when we would practice together!
Masumi: You still do that.
Itaru: I’m pretty sure if past-me saw the current me, he wouldn’t be able to believe we’re the same person.
Chikage: Because you didn’t think you’d end up being so devoted to theater?
Itaru: Something along those lines. Then again, doesn’t that go for the both of us, Senpai?
Chikage: I suppose I can’t deny that.
Izumi: When he said that he felt like he had a whole new world opened up for him, Towa-kun’s eyes were really sparkling, weren’t they?
Masumi: He was pretty nervous at first, but he ended up having fun.
Sakuya: When I decided to join MANKAI Company, I was pretty excited like that too.
Sakuya: I’m so glad I took the risk and dove into this new world.
Tsuzuru: I remember hesitating before I took that first big step into this world too. But once I finally made the decision to join the troupe, I didn’t even have a chance to second-guess taking that step before I was forced to full-out sprint into it.
Masumi: I didn’t hesitate at all because it was fate for me.
Izumi: Ahaha, I guess it kind of was. This is so nostalgic.
Sakuya: This has kinda made me wanna perform RomiJuli again!
Citron: Me too! I was almost reading the lines for myself!
Itaru: I know, right?
Izumi: Why don’t we do a rerun of it?
Tsuzuru: If we’re doing that, then I wanna create an actual role for Chikage-san.
Citron: I would like to appear in even more scenes!
Izumi: That’s a good point. The current Citron-kun can play way more roles than the Citron-kun back then.
Chikage: But aside from those few things, if everything else stays the same, there won’t be anything all that new about it. Especially since we’ve already done reruns of it before.
Sakuya: Then why don’t we do it after the Fleur Cup?
Itaru: Since RomiJuli’s a pretty popular work that’s got all sorts of things like movie and ballet adaptations, it’s easy for theater newbies to get into it.
Itaru: Pretty fitting to fulfill the requirements for our back-to-the-basics quest line, don’t you think?
Izumi: But competing in the Fleur Cup with a rerun performance is way too risky of a move…
Tumblr media
Tsuzuru: …Ah.
Izumi: ?
Tsuzuru: What about a sequel, then?
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Tsumugi: Good job on doing the workshop. How was it?
Sakuya: Everyone seemed a little confused at first, but as soon as they started talking and moving around more, they all seemed to be enjoying themselves!
Tsuzuru: It was really inspiring to watch too.
Tasuku: Sounds like it gave you guys a chance to take a step back and look at theater more objectively again.
Tsumugi: It really sounds like quite the learning experience. I think Winter Troupe should try doing that too.
Homare: I think we should make sure to have adequate time to create poetry when we do that.
Tasuku: That would change the entire point.
Homare: I believe that the skills that come with studying poetry that has a particular emphasis on the rhythm of language could be easily transferable when it comes to thoroughly analyzing lines in a script.
Guy: You make a good point. Shakespeare was a poet in addition to being a playwright, after all.
Hisoka: …And we could end it with a bonfire where we roast marshmallows.
Tumblr media
Tsuzuru: We all know that’s just your own agenda even if you try to frame it like it’s some kinda recreational thing at the end of a summer camp.
Sakuya: Sounds like a workshop that’ll show off each of your unique characteristics.
Izumi: Let’s plan another one when we get the chance.
Sakyo: Looks like everyone’s finally here now.
Izumi: Alright, let’s start the troupe-wide meeting, then.
Izumi: I’d like to talk about Spring Troupe’s next performance, which will be during the voting period of the first quarter of the Fleur Cup…
Izumi: After doing the workshop, we all talked about how we should go back to the basics, back to where we first started.
Citron: To put it simply, we want to do RomiJuli again!
Sakyo: You mean like a RomiJuli rerun?
Tsuzuru: No, not quite. I was thinking of something more along the lines of a sequel…
Tsuzuru: A version of RomiJuli that we’d only be capable of doing now that we’ve grown more-- The future of the RomiJuli we did back during our debut performance.
Tsuzuru: I think it’s something that we could do only because we’re living in the future from when we did it back then.
Sakuya: And it’d be our first attempt at doing a sequel, so I’m sure it’ll be a bit of a challenge.
Tumblr media
Sakuya: Of course, we really wanna perform RomiJuli again, but…
Chikage: We have to be sure that our upcoming performance serves as a stepping stone to the finals of the Fleur Cup.
Itaru: Aside from that, if we don’t at least ensure we get enough votes and earn enough points, we might not even be able to make it to the next round, let alone the finals…
Itaru: And those aren’t our only concerns, so that’s why we wanted to hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions.
Tenma: A sequel to your debut play, huh… never saw that one coming. But I get how you feel about wanting to do it again.
Tsumugi: You can’t help but wonder how you’ll be able to play your role now. There’s always a sort of newness to it no matter how many reruns you do.
Kazunari: And since it’s our very first performance, it’s probs the one that like, set the vibes of your troupe and the vibes of the whole company the most~.
Sakyo: It was pretty rough around the edges, but I guess you could say that it set the direction for the entirety of the Newborn MANKAI Company.
Banri: And it’s prolly the one you’ve done the most reruns of, so it’s def well known. That’s a bonus, ain’t it?
Juza: ‘N since you’ve gotta good foundation for your roles, it’ll prolly let ya approach the performance inna way ya usually wouldn’t.
Juza: ‘N above all, it’ll be a nice challenge to perform a sequel that’ll fill in the blanks ‘n connect the dots from your debut performance.
Homare: The things that have changed, the things that have remained unchanged, mundane things in your daily lives… those can all be expressed on stage.
Guy: I think this could be a good experience for you as actors and it will help you grow even more.
Tasuku: And I think that it’s a valuable opportunity to experience living out more of the life of one of your characters.
Taichi: Plus the OG RomiJuli fans would def be hella hyped!
Omi: The fact that it’s also been a fan-favorite since the beginning is one of it’s advantages too.
Tumblr media
Azami: It’ll also be easier to imagine the settings.
Yuki: My concern is that since they’re the same characters, it’s not as completely brand new as it could be.
Kazunari: It’d probs be a good idea to keep that in mind and make some changes to the visuals.
Itaru: I’m personally a little concerned about the curse of sequels never being able to surpass the originals.
Banri: We can do more with sound effects ‘n lightin’ than we could do back then, so we’ll just have to show ‘em how much we’ve improved.
Yuki: Thinking of our past selves as our rivals is kind of getting me fired up.
Kazunari: And there’s no way we’re gonna lose to ourselves~!
Sakyo: That said, we still need to satisfy the audience members who haven’t seen the original. Unlike with the Mankai Performance, there’s a fairly big gap between the original and now.
Kumon: But I’m kinda jealous of you, Chikage-san! I wish I had my own role in Summer Troupe’s first performance!
Misumi: And I’m ki~nda interested in what the Genie from “Water me!” is doing right now!
Muku: I know, right!? Just like we’re living in the future from back then, I want to see how their futures are going too.
Azuma: If we’re doing a sequel for Spring Troupe’s first performance, then perhaps we should do the same for Summer and the other troupes too.
Tumblr media
Tenma: Well, that would be the logical thing to do.
Juza: I kinda wanna be Lansky again…
Omi: I’m suddenly getting pretty motivated.
Sakyo: All that said, none of us are gonna get to that point if Spring Troupe’s sequel fails.
Homare: Choosing to do a “sequel” in a situation where we cannot afford to lose and have to accommodate many a new audience member is certainly a bold decision.
Izumi: That’s true.
Tsuzuru: W-Way to put more pressure on me.
Hisoka: …Every troupe’s gonna have to do their part in order to pass the baton onto the next one.
Guy: After Spring Troupe in the first quarter, Summer Troupe will follow in the second quarter, then Autumn Troupe in the third quarter, and finally Winter Troupe in the fourth quarter. We all must contribute to the rankings in order to stay in the finals.
Tsumugi: But isn’t it somewhat reassuring to think that RomiJuli, the very first performance, will be by our side as an ally for this?
Sakuya: Yeah… because it’s the “beginning” of our Spring Troupe.
Citron: It was both Spring Troupe’s and the Newborn MANKAI Company’s first adventure!
Tumblr media
Masumi: If we can’t pull off our performance, then there’s no way the other troupes will even get a chance.
Itaru: Basically.
Chikage: I think it’s well worth the gamble.
Tsuzuru: No choice but to just go ahead and do it…
Izumi: Alright, that settles it. Let’s fight for the New Fleur Award using sequels to each troupe’s debut performance as our weapon!
Izumi: (Finally, we’re taking our first step toward the Newborn Fleur Award.)
Izumi: (Now all we have to do is stay as united as we are now as we keep our eye on the performance. Please let us get through this without any trouble…)
[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]
20 notes · View notes
emry-stars-art · 6 months
Note
Yk what would be absolutely destroy me in the Royal au???
Abram crying.
Just... full on crying in front of kevin, who just holds him maybe a bit too tightly for him not to be affected. Abram's fingers clutching his tunic because he isn't in the evermore, dammit.
He is here, with Kev, about as safe as he could be and no one's going to call him pretty or chain and whip him.
It's hard, but at least he's being held by his brother who is stroking his hair slowly, a brother who is as devastated as he is.
And Andrew's there, outside the door desperate to do smth but can't cuz 'Ram's still not comfortable around him.
Ps. Sorry for any errors in my language I just keep thinking of your au all the. Damn. Time. And it's absolutely 🤌
Good news, anon! It’s one of the first things Abram does when he gets back to Palmetto :,)
(There’s that link and more of Kevin/Andrew taking care of Abram in this post 💕)
Find the royal au masterpost here
56 notes · View notes
bluuscreen-png · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
thought it’d be fun to redraw this page because i think it’s just cute as hell. look at them, they’re adorable
(and uh, ignore the watermark on the actual manga page, i can’t find a version without it ;-;)
165 notes · View notes