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#i hope peter b passes away
ashsostrange · 7 months
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i’m (not) sorry to say, but miles is better off by himself.
idk if i’ve ever written a post this long, but i got energy tonight. y’all have been sucked into the black hole of shipping, so let me ground you and remind you of this amazing thing called being single. i’m gna talk ab margo and gwen, but mostly gwen bc she’s obv miles’ (main) love interest. i’ve said more than enough about why miles and gwen don’t work/make sense. if you wna be enlightened then feel free to click the links.
thoughts on ghostflower: here!
reblogging a moot's post w/ added thoughts: hereee!
i love ranting so let’s get it! 😛
i don't have much to say about margo bc sadly, she's barely there. what i will say though is that as cute as miles and margo would be together, there’s one more movie left lol. the third movie’s gna be busy as hell. there’s literally no time for romance, and to rush miles and margo (two people who just met) into liking each other in, like, a three hour timespan would just be terrible writing. plus, we all know she’s there for some bs having to do with miles nd gwen, which is literally soooooooo very lame, words can't describe. one, where are you finding the time to cram in jealousy/all this angsty romance mess when miles’ dad is ab to die and the universe is ab to collapse bc of a nigga that looks like the lovechild of a cardboard box and a cow?? two, is this really all margo is here for?? to make gwen jealous or “help miles realize he’s in love with gwen” ?? shameeee, like summer said. 😐 i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: margo could be SO much more than a disposable love interest!!!
gwiles/ghostflower fans, i’m going to tell you something that will make you upset. i said i was coming for you and i meant it 🗣️‼️
before you yell at me and push smoke out of your ears, i need you to put your right hand on your chest and close your eyes. you feel your heartbeat? good. now, count to three while taking deep breaths and remember that none of this shit is real so you’d look stupid af trying to attack me. 🙃 some of y’all are getting TOO comfortable being unnecessarily disrespectful and ion like that lol. don’t try it here bc i’m on another level of not gaf!
listen, even if (when?) gwen and miles team up to save his dad, it won’t change the fact that gwen was keeping some hefty info from miles, yo. she was smiling in jeff’s face and cracking jokes like she didn’t know he was bout to die. y’all gotta be so very real with yourselves. you wouldn’t wna date, let alone be FRIENDS with someone who kept something that big from you, regardless of the circumstances or lack of ill intent. one of the most important people in your life concealing the fact that you’re about to lose another important person in your life is insane.
i’m aware that gwen didn’t tell miles about his dad because she genuinely thought it’d cause mass destruction if he saved jeff. thing is, even if miles knew that, i think he’d still feel betrayed. that’s 100% valid because this is his dad we’re talking about. he just lost his uncle not too long ago, too. i wouldn’t blame miles if he never wanted anything to do with gwen again. i wouldn’t blame bro if he got sick to his stomach every time he saw her. it’d be justified, bc if he never followed her that night, then he wouldn’t have had the chance to save jeff.
my point is that you can be a “good person” and still fuck up bad enough to make someone never wna speak to you again. miles is a sweetheart so he’ll probably forgive gwen. my thing is, miles forgiving gwen doesn’t mean the two of them are obligated to be friends again. they can handle it maturely, go their separate ways, nd never speak again. it’s really not even gna hurt y’all cuz it’s the last mf movie anyway??? 😭😭
if it isn’t clear by now, i don’t want miles and gwen together at all. they have no business being around each other frl 🙃 not as friends and definitely not as lovers. like, sure, that one scene where they’re swinging/talking on the bank was my absolute fav. it was cute. i shipped them before i really thought about it. that scene is still my fav, but my adoration for it isn’t gna stop me from keeping it real.
i really don’t care what anyone says or how in love they think these two are, this isn’t a “forgive and forget” situation. if the writers truly wanted gwen and miles to be involved romantically, then not only should they have structured their dynamic better, they shouldn’t have made gwen the person she was in this movie. love, love, LOVE redemption arcs because it’s a reminder that we're human and we're flawed, but you can’t redeem yourself from that. sorry. (not) i say miles should leave that girl alone 🤷‍♀️ leave all potential girls alone ffs.
in conclusion, it’s okay for miles to be single. he's 15 anyway, it's not like he'll die without a girl. i’m the suckiest sucker for anything to do with romance, but characters in film/animation don’t need to have love interests for a project to be considered good. if you feel like it does, then maybe ts you’re watching just sucks, lmao. a girl and a boy can be friends without one having feelings for the other, or both of 'em having mutual feelings. (in the media idk ab irl..) it’s time to stop forcing ts. please.
and it’s okay y’all, i promise you. it’s okay if miles and gwen don’t end up dating. it's okay if they reconcile and stay friends. it’s okay if they reconcile and don’t stay friends. though unlikely, it’s also okay if miles doesn’t forgive gwen at all! resolutions like these go to show that you can “forgive” someone without letting them have access to you anymore. that’s what miles needs to do. straying away from the “happy ending” everyone is expecting would be nice. it’d be a different approach and a realistic way to complete the franchise. (i’m not just saying this bc i love angst)
but before the gwiles (ugly ass ship name btw) fans start throwing up and telling me to end my shit, it’s 99% unlikely that anything i just stated will actually happen. we’re more than likely getting a kiss between miles and gwen, nd that’s bc the writers are probably high off the same dope they were on when they wrote gwen sneaking in thru miles’ window, j for his parents to be way more calm about it than any other normal parent would be. i could say some more about certain scenes but that's for another night.
miles doesn’t need to be with anyone. especially not gwen when it comes down to it.
oh and i HATE peter b. fuck that nigga. he was nun but an extra in this movie and i know he’s an opp in the next. 🙎‍♀️
that’s all! if you read allat then thanks, cuz i wrote a lot. if you're feeling angry, then go for a walk. this isn’t a place for any typa criticism bc i am right, therefore, i am not requesting confirmation. 🙌 i said what i said. have a good night.
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tarjapearce · 11 months
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Bad Teachings
College Professor AU! Miguel O'Hara x reader
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, Smut (I tried my best, I swear ;w;) Mildly dubious-con. Age gap implied
Hope you like 🥹✨
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The last semester felt impossibly harder, nerve wrecking and it was as usual chipping away the little social life you had. Not that you had many friends really, mostly of the people you hung out with, were people that always ended either paired with you or gathered in group works.
Sure you were invited to parties here and there, but nothing too concrete.
But right now, none of it mattered, as you sat before your teacher, Peter B. Parker, at the verge of tears.
"Look, I know it seems like you'll fail, but you still have a chance." He was packing up his things and then looked your way. " I know you care for the other classes, but this one is also important. I just can't help you out this time."
"It was just one assignment! Mr. Parker. One! I had none to drive me out to that place."
"What about your friends?"
"Just... Please?, This is my last class, I can't afford another semester here."
Peter was one of the few lax teachers out there that would help out here and there when he was able to. One of your favorites actually, contrary to what people said, he was a good teacher.
"I know, I know, kid. Just let me see what I can do ok? Im not promising anything, but I can try. Mr. O'Hara isn't that bad."
You groaned hopelessly.
"God, Im so dead"
"He's not that bad. He's all bark and no bite, I'm telling you"
"Not to question your decisions, Mr. Parker but from all the teachers you could've picked, why Mr. O'Hara?"
"Not up to me kid, administration's doing. Besides, I'll be gone just a couple of weeks. You'll do fine. I'll speak to him, okay?"
You just nodded, hope hanging on a thread.
-------
You were fucked . In fact, you could already picture your parents' mortified expression upon the news and the student loan could only stretch up so far . Miguel O'Hara was... brutal.
He took no shit from anyone, he had 'zero chill' or so you had heard among the other students that barely passed with him. However, you were learning what you needed and wanted to learn. He was demanding, but a great teacher.
"He's hot." One of your classmates admitted as you were gathered in study groups to do an assignment due in a couple of hours.
"I heard he's married."
"No, he's not. No kids, nothing."
"I heard his daughter died."
"He doesn't like talking about that, Jen."
You subtly glanced at him, so ever stoic, frowning and serious, checking and grading assignments like nothing. He was intimidating overall. Everyone behaved and actually studied when he teached.
Class ended shortly after you finished the study group. However you waited a bit longer when everyone had been out to submit your group's part. And also, probably have a chance to ask about your class status.
The first thing you couldn't help but notice was how snug the button t-shirt was on him, your nose detected a tingle of his cologne, His hair was long yet well kept and silky looking. Hell, he probably had a better hair routine than you. His hands movements were smooth and swift, as if they had memorized a pattern. He stopped and looked up to you. For being a man on his early forties he looked younger.
A chill ran down your spine.
"Leave it there." He went back to scribbling notes and you obeyed.
"Mr. O'Hara?"
"Hm?"
You sighed quietly, fearful he might sense your fear.
"Sorry to bother you, Um... I was wondering if-" you swallowed as he looked back at you with a slight frown in his face
"If Mr. Parker left any extra work for me?"
His brow raised in confusion
"I haven't seen Mr. Parker in months, niña. I was just called two days ago to cover up his spot."
Shit.
"R-Right. Uh, I just asked since he said he would-"
"Help you out? Yeah, that's not happening."
"I know it's just another day for you when students come here and cry-"
"You're not crying, so that's a first."
Your cheeks burned a little at his odd praising, but also you were embarrassed overall. Your favorite teacher had definitely forgot about you.
"Just... hear me out. This is my last class, my last semester's weeks And I truly cannot afford to repeat the class."
"And that is my problem because?"
Your lips tightened and soon your eyes turned glossy, but still you were determined to see it through.
"It's just 5 points I need to keep my score and have my record approved."
"The class ain't over yet. Better keep it up."
"Mr. O'Hara, pl-"
"No."
"I will buy you empanadas?" He snorted
"See you next semester, kid. Close the door when you're out."
His no was pretty much definitive. Sighing you marched away from the classroom and closed the door. You didn't cry. That was something.
----
The following days you spent holed up in the library, roomie to loud and messy to be around as you prepared for the pre evaluation for the finals, occasionally you caught a glimpse of Miguel O'Hara, working as usual in his favorite corner, un bothered.
What truly was pissing you is that some of your teammates hadn't submitted their part of the job, wich was due tomorrow. The whole report was half done and still it was alot left to do. You were trying. And just when you felt anxiety began worming it's way in you, the seat across you was dragged open and no other than Mr. Miguel O'Hara sat before you.
He looked at you with a blank yet curious gaze.
"You look like you're about to have a nervous wreck."
"I am."
"Right, here." He showed you a printed paper, "Meet me there, at 6. Don't make plans."
"What?" you squinted your eyes to read the information
"Thought you wanted help?" Exasperated at your obliviousness he huffed, "Guess not"
"Wait!" you snatched the paper out of his hands, "Sorry. Just.. Thank you" he smirked.
Your eyes lit up upon reading the paper and nodded. If it wasn't for you being so tired, and him being scary, you'd probably hug him.
"Thank you, thank you so much!" You spoke in between whispers.
"Si si, cállate. Look, it's a conference college is organizing, in a week, if you want those five extra, go. I'll be there. Don't make plans."
"Funny you think I have a social life, Mr. O'Hara. But thanks. I really appreciate it."
"At 6. Formal dress code."
"Gotcha." you nodded as you grinned. He left you alone.
----
You'd look like a liar if he saw you, a cocktail in your hand, chatting to a classmate that was nice enough talk to. It was a small celebration for a good score in the past assignment, you could breath a little, feel a bit hopeful.
"Did you saw Mr. O'Hara today? God..." the girl almost moaned in the spot.
"You kidding? He doesn't fuck his students."
"Who knows, I might be the first?"
"In getting reported maybe. Dude is scary. A friend of mine repeated twice with him."
"What about you, (Name)? I saw you in the library chatting with him."
The whole attention suddenly dropped on you.
"Ah, yeah he told me he'd see me next semester"
"Shut up. You're failing too?"
"Yeah. I mean, sure he's hot and stuff, but... yeah. I don't know how to tell my parents actually. Add me to the chat group, by the way"
Before the conversation turned into how half female college students wanted him, your classmate took you to another private spot. Mike Aguilar was his name, someone that like you, avoided unnecessary attention. What you didn't expect was that he stole a kiss from you. Between cocktails and making out with Mike for a long time, the loud music, it felt good. Felt good to experience the other side of broke colege student.
You ended up being taken to your room, railed up but Mike was gentleman enough to not indulge since you both were drunk. How long had been since someone actually indulged you? Even more so, that you had indulged  yourself? You removed your pants.
You were alone, but locked up the door, and grabbed your phone. Looking up in the group chat you looked for Mike's contact and typed.
"Hey Miky"
He replied almost instantly
"Sup, hlt stuff?" He didn't care for the typos
"Wanna see aumthin?"
"*Something"
You giggled as he send a "🥴" emoji.
Biting your lip, you put the phone in a pillow and began recording. Hands trailing on your clothed breasts as you sat down and spreaded your legs. One of your hands dipped inside your panties as the other one uncovered your breast to then squeeze and toy with one.
Your mouth had shaped in an 'o' as you bucked your hips to ride slowly your own hand. Your moans were needy and they turned more wanton as you kept toying with your nipples and clit, soon gasping for air, coming undone.
You then brought your slicked fingers to your mouth and licked them clean with a groan. You then giggled and stopped recording. The alcohol buzzed fully in your system, not only clouding your judgment, but also firing up a dirty mind.
"For your eyes only"
You uploaded the video and pressed send.
Tossing the phone on your nightstand, you went back to keep indulging in yourself before your roomie could get back. But this time, you had in mind a very specific scary teacher to think about.
----
The constant beeping in your phone bolted you awake. You turned off the alarm and saw your phone. Your eyes went wide awake as dread crept up to you.
"So... What was that you wanted to show me?"
Oh no.
Panic surged through your body as seeing Mr. O'Hara's chat open with a 'video' description. Shaky fingers opened it up, only to reveal the 'seen' mark in the chat.
OH NO.
-----
Against all odds and what could go wrong, you showed up in class. Sure, sending a porn video of yourself to your scary teacher was a major fuck up. But failing class would be even a bigger fuck up of all times, You had one foot outside of it all. Once out of college you wouldn't see Mr. O'Hara, and eventually he'd forget it all. Besides, you were pretty sure that he'd receive that kind of messages on a daily basis.
Sighing, you entered the classroom and as quietly as you could you sat in the very back of it. Class went as normal as you could, but the feeling of being watched was always present. Thankfully class was over and just as you snuck to get in, you snuck out.
You couldn't look at him in the face, not after what you had done in that video. Another reason of why you didn't drink often. But now a new problem laid ahead. How would you face him on Saturday?
Talking about, you didn't even know what to wear. Maybe the universe was conspiring against you, but you were grateful enough that he didn't bring it up, maybe he didn't pay much attention. There were so many scenarios running your mind.
----
In the end, you wrote an apology. It was easier to just apologize without seeing his face, and maybe things would be buried and forgotten as days passed.
But no. He had requested to see you after class.
As you approached you squeezed the written apologize and sighed once you were before his desk, across him.
"I need you to sign here, to confirm your assistance tomorrow."
You gulped and took the pen, after sliding the letter to him. He cocked an eyebrow to you as you signed.
"What's this?" He took the crumpled paper and opened it up. Your eyes locked with his, and you could see, amusement in them. A knowing look seizing you.
"I'm so so sorry. The... The video I mean. It wasn't for you, I swear! But I was-"
"Drunk and stupid? Yeah. Noted." He tossed the letter in the trashbin and stood with his arms on his waist, "I thought you were better than that, (Name)"
Your eyes glossed over the disappointment in his tone.
"Has anyone else seen it?"
You shook your head.
His eyes glinted with something dark, something you couldn't actually pinpoint and to be honest you were too embarrassed to ask.
"Good. Anyway, 6 pm. Austen's Auditorium"
"T-That far?"
"Have a problem?"
"Uh, no. I'll be there. I'll call an Uber."
"I'll drive you."
"What? No! I mean, no. I'm uncomfortable enough as it is. Don't wanna make this even more awkward."
"Trust me, nothing that I haven't seen before, unfortunately."
"Yeah, no. I'll call an Uber. I'm financially fucked anyways. Thanks" His pupils dilated so ever softly at the way your lips muttered the word fucked. His face remained steely as usual, but his eyes gave away so much.
"Whatever. Meet me in the last row, second seat, then."
------
You showed up, high waisted, tight, black, upper knee length skirt with a small slit on the side, a cream colored blouse with matching bra and a black blazer with nude heels. It was the standar, and the only truly formal wear you had in your closet. Uber drove you to the venue and soon, you met Miguel and sat next to him. You could recognize some other students along some other teachers from other areas. Conference was about the new ways of teaching and learning, nothing too groundbreaking as you had originally thought.
The conference was two hours long and at the end, you signed up a paper sheet and was told to wait on the entrance as Miguel greeted and signed out.
"Let's go."
Miguel guided you by placing a hand on your lower back, and gave a gentle push for you to follow him.
"Car's on the third floor"
"I told you that I could get an Uber."
"And risk you to be kidnapped or something? Not a chance. Besides I wanna keep my job as much as I can."
"Gee, thanks for caring, Mr. O'Hara."
"Todo un placer, preciosa." He chuckled
Your knees trembled as he spoke in spanish, you were sat on the front seat and fastened your seatbelt. He started the engine but it just revved a couple of times before it went dead. And just when you thought nothing could go wrong, it started pouring. Hard.
"Shit."
You groaned in frustration and Miguel smirked.
"Why the rush? Have somewhere to go?"
"No, Mr. O'Hara. Just wanted to rest. I'm not used to wear heels actually."
"Thought you were meeting with that guy you were making out the other night"
Your eyes widened in utter embarrassment as he stretched in his seat.
"Jesus... this can't be even more embarrassing."
"As your teacher, I completely disapprove such behaviors. Specially with that cabrón. He's not a good person."
"What do you mean?"
"He's conditioned. Likes to spread out intimate content of girls he gets."
"How do you know this?"
"I told you, nothing I haven't seen before."
You sank in your seat, mulling over his words.
"Hate to admit but... Im kinda glad knowing this. I mean, I'm really embarrassed though, but-"
"You're glad that little video fell onto my hands and not someone else?"
You nodded, unable to look at him as your face flushed.
"Yes, what?"
"Y-Yes, sir."
"Must admit though." His hands on the wheel tightened. "It took me by surprise. Out of all the female students, you, did a whole show."
You gulped as your breath hitched. His eyes squinted and that dark tingle was back at it again
"Hands in those cute ass panties, riding your hand like it was the last thing you'd ever ride."
His hand pulled his hair back as he bit his lip so ever softly. You on the other hand were trembling, unable to look at him in the eye.
"Who were you thinking of?"
"N-None. I swear. This is... really really bad"
"Maybe, but so is sending really explicit videos to your teacher, preciosa."
You shut your mouth and looked at him, he leaned in and studied your face. His index and thumb taking your chin.
"You're trembling. Why? A pretty thing like you shouldn't fear me. I'm not gonna hurt you. Quite the opposite actually." His thumb caressed your cheek and his lips brushed over yours.
"I wanna make you feel as good as you did in that video." He kissed your cheek and bit softly at your earlobe earning a shudder. It was like if another person had took over him.
"Can I? You want me to make you feel good, muñeca?"
He was overwhelming your senses, then you felt him unbuttoning your shirt. You nodded.
"W-Wait... what if someone sees us?"
Miguel unbuckled your seat belt and pulled you for a deep kiss. Moaning, your hands raked down his chest, stopping at his belt.
"Don't worry on it. It's fucking pouring outside." He riled up your skirt up, exposing the fabric of your panties. His lips went to your neck and kissed a soft trail as his fingers dipped between clothed folds, earning a whimper. His free hand managed to pull out one of your breast and then rolled his tongue over it.
"So sensitive" His fingers rubbed in slow circles your little flesh mount. He took a moment to pull one of the windows two inches down, enough for air to seep in.
"Spread those legs for me, preciosa. Lemme see that pretty pussy." Your hips accommodated as your skirt was pushed upwards, he then removed your panties and smiled.
"Sit on the back seat. Can't taste you properly like that." With trembling hands you moved on the back leathery wide seat as he moved the front ones forward, leaving more space in the back. He removed his blazer and his tie. Your heels long forgotten in the front seat. He seemed like a caged animal in a tiny space, and you a small snack for him.
His hands kneaded the supple flesh of your thighs, you removed the blazer and soon he finished unbuttoning your shirt, your bra was unclasped, spilling your breast freely. He groaned and kissed you once more. In your haste you unbuckled his belt but he stopped you.
"Are you on contraceptives?"
His fingers spreaded your legs further, exposing your slick flesh. You just nodded dumbly.
"No habrá problema entonces." He muttered more to himself than anyone as he bend over, one of your thighs dangled in his left shoulder as he brought your slit closer to his mouth.
He did a small cross blessing on himself and a little prayer and licked his lips.
"We've got to be grateful for this meal." His tongue went flat against your slit and dragged it up. Your toes curled up and you groaned.
"Mira qué lindo coño tienes, mi amor." His lips focused in the little bundle of nerves, giving it soft suckles, kisses as his tongue dribbled in your inner folds.
"Podría comerte todo el día" He mumbled as he gave feathery bites on your plush flesh. His hands held your thighs, you were too enraptured in pleasure to mumble a coherent word. Instead your hands latched at his head softly and applied pressure only when he grew closer to that very sweet spot.
His tongue lapped up and soon his whole mouth disappeared between your folds. The obscene sound of his mouth working made your spine arch. He held you in place as his face kept buried between your legs. Your breath hitched as your body went taut. He switched in between devouring your clit and fucking you with his tongue.
"Y-Yes!" You hissed as searing pleasure crashed hard. Your toes curled in, and your body trembled, coming undone on his mouth. He made sure to clean you up before releasing your flesh with a wet pop. You pulled him for a kiss as the rain kept hitting the car, drowning any sound.
"Such a pretty and naughty baby." He cooed as he tied your hands behind your back with his neck tie, then pulled his pants down his knees and brought your knees close to your shoulders, exposing once more your puffed and wet cunt.
"Sending videos for me to watch" He pumped himself a couple of times before rubbing his flushed tip in your sopping folds. You moaned as he entered you slowly, feeling the good stretch of his cock in your walls and gasped.
Hearing your classmates talking about the possibilities of what Mr. O'Hara had between his legs was nothing compared to actually experiencing it as it dug deeper in your guts.
You gave a shaky whimper at how full you felt, and he was barely starting. You could only watch as his girth disappeared between your folds with ease.
"You're so tight, princesa." He kissed your temple, as you choked on a thrust he gave, shaking your whole body.
"Wanna be a good girl for me?" Nodding you groaned as he tangled one of his hands on your front bangs and held you still, to then ram his hips against yours. It earned him a sweet wail from you. He closed his eyes for a second, relishing at your warmth and tighteness
"So fucking good. Will give you a lil' present before you graduate." His hips slapped shamelessly and viciously, leaving you with little room to breathe properly. Your hands desperately trying to hold onto something
"Gonna miss you and this pussy when you're gone, you know that?" His voice rumbled through his chest between heavy pants and soft growls.
You were too cock drunk to actually speak, the lack of air was making you dizzy, soon you felt like a zombie, just grunting and moaning as his body crushed you, over and over, almost fucking you in to the seat. Miguel O'Hara was anything but gentle, in all sense of the word. The car shook softly and soon, you gritted your teeth as the pressure in your lower belly increased until you came on his cock. Gushing and clamping down hard.
Your body shook, and he cupped your cheeks, smiling at the debauched look on your face as you came, proud of himself. Your hands had numbed out, but he then untied them.
"Such a messy baby." His hips didn't stop, one of his hands snaked it's way to your neck and squeezed.
Your hands found a little strength to cling to his arm, his eyes never left you.
"Give me another one, mi amor"
He cooed as his hips fucked you silly, tears piling up at the corner of your eyes, overstimulation making a mess out of your senses. Your nails scratched his wrist as his thrust turned erratic, sloppier and finally he came as he cradled your limp body closer to his.
It was almost possessive. You gave a pathetic cry as you came with him. He kissed you softly and laid you gently.
He then pulled one of the windows down another couple of inches, letting air to refresh your burning body.
Your clothes were soiled, except for the blazer, the rest was drenched in sweat or covered in fluids. The good thing was that rain could cover up all evidence.
He looked at you in awe and pride.
----
"You look lovely in this one."
Mr. O'Hara's chat was opened, revealing a picture of you sucking his cock in his classroom with your graduation gown, looking at him with doe-like eyes.
"Thanks. You taste great, btw." You typed back, with a smirk
"Call me, Miguel, preciosa. I'm not your teacher anymore."
-----
Si si, cállate — "Yeah, yeah, shut up"
Todo un placer, preciosa - "My pleasure, gorgeous"
cabrón— Fucker
muñeca- Doll
No habrá problema entonces- "No problem then"
Mira qué lindo coño tienes, mi amor- "You have a pretty pussy, my love"
Podría comerte todo el día- "I could eat you all day"
3K notes · View notes
dilfartist · 11 months
Text
A foolish endeavor
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Pairing; Yandere Miguel O’hara x reader
Synopsis; You manage to snag Miguel’s gizmo and escape to another universe. How long will it take before he, or the spider society, find you?
Word count; 2.8k
Reader description; Female/GN
TW; kidnapping, probably terrible spanish (i did use sources Spanish-speaking users suggested), non-con touching, yandere themes, dark writing.
Notes; {if i mistranslated any of the spanish please do contact me in my DMs. I wanted this fic to be better but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Did not proofread.}
Midnight coated New York in a dark blue hue. Most nights the city lights illuminate the darkness, providing the ability to see. However, the motel you find yourself ambling to is the more isolated part of the city.
Rain poured down heavily, producing cacophonous echoes of raindrops slamming against the concrete. Clad in a drenched hoodie and damp black yoga pants, you scurry to the other side of the street just in time to avoid being hit by the passing truck.
Cigarette smoke and frigid rain overwhelm your senses, mainly due to the cigarette buds scattered on the motel parking lot.
The motel is okay looking. By no means does it look nice, but it isn’t a hard no.
“Guess this is where I’ll sleep tonight,” you mumble to yourself. You take a brief glance at your surroundings. Night overcame the sky, giving the atmosphere a dark hue but the lights gave you a clear standpoint.
Numerous lights hummed irritatingly, not even a minute passed and you found yourself obtaining a headache. You navigate the main office, which is on the left side of the horseshoe-shaped building, and a blue neon sign points in the direction of the office. You started sauntering over, putting pep in your step when the cold rain declined heavier than it did the last five minutes.
Six months ago, you wouldn’t be having this problem. At least that’s what you believed. You could’ve been at your apartment, catching up on a show you’ve failed to complete thanks to your busy work schedule.
Unfortunately for you, doing a task as simple as watching your television, in your home, was truly impossible. Why? Because the earth you roam isn’t yours, to begin with. Your apartment isn’t yours. The job you work isn’t yours. You aren’t certain you even exist in this universe.
You can’t find the strength to complain. Honestly, you’re delighted to be away from the man who stole you away from society.
Miguel O’Hara.
Otherwise known as Spiderman 2099. You know, the superhero.
It must be confusing to hear that a superhero kidnaped a poor civilian. Superheros don’t normally commit unforgivable acts. Regardless, Miguel didn't care. Miguel is aware he is different from other heroes given his beliefs. Abducting you was just one of the many wrongs Miguel fulfilled.
You just wished you knew his motives at the beginning. If you did, you wouldn't have to search for sanctuary. You wouldn't have to lie low in a different universe.
Before Miguel, you lived a decent life that included a decent job. It was a Tuesday afternoon with sunny weather and clear skies. Your friends invited you to a picnic at the park and, for once having a clear schedule you agreed. You recall the sun beaming down on you, overheating your body to the point shade was a necessity. You moved from the picnic blanket to a nearby bent tree. One moment you're enjoying the shade, the next you're falling. Then something transpired. You jerked in the air, something white clinging to the front of your shirt. You felt your body floating in the air, legs thrashing in fear when your body conceded it was in mid-air.
You must have fainted because you have no recollection of what transpired next. What you do remember was watching through bleary eyes as four strangers hovered over you clearly disputing. Currently, you know them by Jessica Drew, Peter B. Parker, the iron spider, And Miguel O’Hara.
The accountability for your well-being somehow landed in the hands of Miguel. In the beginning, Miguel had such a short patience for you, not that he didn't possess an attitude with anyone else, he just happened to have a really short fuse with you.
His explosive temper with you was undeserving. You hardly gave him any reason to blow up. Your presence alone just pissed him off, at least it appeared so.
You avoided him as much as possible; Departing a room when he entered. Ensuring any errands were accomplished before he arrived home, so you didn't have to leave your room to aggravate him.
Then he began to seek you out; popping up wherever you were in his apartment. Alone watching television on the couch? Not anymore. Miguel joined you on the other side silently watching as well. Sitting silently in the dining room eating lunch? Miguel enters with a bowl of cereal, starting a conversation about the day’s news. Enjoy video games and decide to play by yourself? Miguel grabs a controller and questions the rules and certain controls.
For someone who was as snappy at you as a feral dog, he sure did like to invade your solitude.
By the second month of staying at Miguel’s, he found solace in your presence. He became relaxed. Nice even. And then by the fourth month, you became friends. You never visualized being anything other than friends, but unbeknownst to you, Miguel did.
When you first caught the news of Peter figuring out what universe you belonged to, you were ecstatic. After all, the mystery of your universe's number had been the sole reason for crashing with Miguel and not immediately returning home.
You turned to Miguel, asking when was the appropriate time to drop you off. To your astonishment, Miguel’s brows furrowed, and his lips morphed into a grimace, “you will not be returning.” he affirmed.
Miguel shocked not only you, but everyone witnessing the scene. A gauche silence conquered the atmosphere.
You and Miguel stared at each other for a beat, then you voiced your perplexity. “What do you mean “I will not be returning?” Miguel, I need to go home.” you took a step closer to Miguel.
Miguel gazed at you with an uninterested stare. “What I say goes, (Name). And I say you're staying here.” he spun around, returning to whatever he had been working on before. “We all have a busy schedule and dropping you off will only alter it.”
“It’s not worth it,” he said like he was ending the conversation.
“Okay, then Peter can take me home when he needs to drop off Mayday.” you insisted, looking over at Peter to see if he’d be alright with your plan.
No expression was needed for you to catch on to the attitude Miguel began to gain. “(Name), I won’t tell you twice. The answer is no. Now, Peter take her back to my apartment. We’ll speak about the matter later, at the moment there are more important issues happening.”
You found it laughable. To think the minute you stepped into the man's sight he wanted you gone, but now Miguel was fighting you to stay with him. Ironic, isn’t it?
That night you and Miguel, the very moment he came inside his apartment, quarreled for an hour in a half. Your argument being you did not belong to him and could do whatever you pleased. Miguel’s argument was the insignificance of the matter to him.
You detected Miguel’s temper was starting to get out of hand. The way his fists began to clench, the way his brows creased, and the frown deepened after every sentence he uttered. You’ve seen his strength. His fierceness. And you’d rather leave than have any of his tantrums directed at you. Doing what any rational person would do, you attempted to leave the room. You advised him to de-stress before speaking to you again.
Miguel was having none of it. Not even a second passed before you were yanked back by the forearm.
You’re face-to-face with Miguel. Miguel towered over you, looking down at you with his signature red piercing stare. He bends down, momentarily staring at you until he finally speaks. “I can't allow you to leave.” The way he talks is low and if the room weren't already quiet, you wouldn’t have heard him. “I love you,” he confessed, voice cracking, closing his eyes as if it pained him to say it. He opened his eyes again. “And I won't allow myself to lose any other person I care for.”
Pulling twenty dollars out of the torn-up wallet you found on the side of the road, you slide it forward on the mahogany brown table. The fatigued receptionist glances at the money, then gazes at you with an irked expression.
“This isn’t enough.” She states matter-of-factly. She slides the twenty back to you.
You purse your lips, staring down at the cash. Twenty dollars is all you had. What were you to do now? The next nearest motel could be miles away; it was a miracle you made it to this.
Your eyes flicker back to her. You take two fingers pushing it back to her, giving her your best puppy eyes. “Please! I don't have anywhere else to go tonight. If I can’t stay here I’ll have to sleep on the streets.”
You were lying. You would’ve taken off by dawn, needing to be on the move after getting rested.
Her hardened expression softens. She takes a deep breath, eyes studying the money. Shaking her head, she takes the cash. “One night only, alright?”
You propose to her a smile, nodding with gratitude. She allotted you a key. A small golden-greenish key, with the number five engraved on the head. Tonight you’d sleep on the grounded floor of the motel.
The inside was decently prepared, having a dingy tone that gave off a haunted vibe. You hum in displeasure. Two queen-sized mattresses are positioned on the right side of the wall. They appeared stiff, and the blankets laying upon them looked thinner than a sheet of paper.
Sighing, you softly booted the door shut. Flopping down on the nearest bed, you groan at the sensation of the rough mattress.
When tomorrow comes you’d have to find a fresh location. Miguel could continually find your locale, thanks to not only Lyla but the whole Spider society. Perhaps you postponed his search this time. His watch or gizmo- whatever the hell it was- rests on your wrist.
Shifting your head to the side, pulling your hand out of your pocket, you glance at the gizmo.
Tightly clutched in Miguel’s hold, you stare quietly at the ceiling. You debate acting on your next actions. There were times Miguel slept lightly, aroused by creaks in the floorboard. Other times when the sound of glass shattering did not bother him even a little.
Glancing down at the arm wrapped securely around your midriff, you endeavor to gradually lift his arm up. He unconsciously retaliates, arms consolidating, resulting in a small gasp slipping from your lips. You’re quick to rub his arm, to offer him comfort, and to calm him.
It works. Miguel grumbles, his grasp faulting. You carefully move his arm aside, then unhurriedly get up from the bed.
Before leaving the room you observe Miguel. Miguel sleeps soundly, an angry expression inscribed on his face. But he is asleep, so you take your chance while you are able.
Tiptoeing into the kitchen, you immediately spot the gizmo on the marble counter. Compared to the technology you have at home, it was top-notched, a huge improvement. Of course, he lived in the year 2099. Obviously, there would be a difference in technology.
You grabbed the gizmo, examining the complexity. From monitoring the spider people using them, you know it’ll take you wherever universe you request. Great. However, you weren’t a spider person. If you teleported in the middle of the air, you couldn't grapple on the closest object with a web. Or claw your way down a building
Fuck it.
If dying meant escaping him, then so be it.
You didn’t really mean that. Every time you went to teleport to a different universe, you cringed retreating your hand.
“Jesus! Alright, I'm doing this!” you softly berated yourself. Bracing for the impact of the possible fall you might face, you shut your eyes tight and twisted the gizmo. “Please be on the ground, Please be on the ground, Please be on the ground!” you cried.
How long would it take them to find you? How far could you get?
God, being on the run was stressful.
Your eyes flutter closed, plush pillows luling your tired mind. ‘I should get some sleep’ you thought. Warmth spread throughout your numbing body, as you finally permitted yourself to sleep.
When you awake gasping for air, almost as if you’d been suffocating. Instantly you arise, a hand rushing to your chest confirming it still thumped with a beating heart. Your skin is sticky with cold sweat, making your clothes uncomfortably cling to your body. “What the fuck?” you barely uttered, mouth arid.
Suddenly you had a gut feeling to check the window. You stand, groggily walking toward the large window adjacent to the front door. Pinching the hem of the curtain, you haul it aside.
The night is still pristine, the stars glowing in the dark sky. Nothing seems out of place. And yet you continue to have that gut feeling. Look outside, there’s something outside. Your eyes move to the parking lot.
You see it.
Blue and red. Something blue and red is making its way toward the motel. Squinting, you can make out what it is. Miguel. It's Miguel!
“Oh, shit!” you expressed, dropping the curtain. Wasting no time you locked the bottom and top locks. You veered around, frantically searching for a place to hide. You are no fool. Locking the door was simply a distraction; Miguel would tear the door off its hinges in a second.
Hiding underneath the bed is a childish strategy. That and hiding underneath the covers. Still, you drop to your knees, squeezing underneath the bed, using the blankets to cover any spaces revealing you. Pressing the palm of your hand against both your mouth and nose, you listen closely to everything around you.
At first, all you hear is the air conditioning blowing cool air, and the people next door’s baby weeping. Then you hear it. The doorknob oscillation. Your eyes widen, fear causing your breath to hitch. When the door refuses to open, the person behind the door commences kicking in the door. One kick achieves them access to the room. The door slams against the wall, shaking the ground, sending a vibration under you.
“¿Qué carajo?” you know that voice anywhere. It’s Miguel speaking in his native language. A habit Miguel has when he’s angered or stressed. “¿Dónde está ella?” Miguel snaps, striding into the room with anger-powered steps.
You can see through the tiny slit in the blankets, Miguel turning to the table where you placed the gizmo. Miguel picks up the gizmo, putting it back on his wrist.
He shifts his concentration to finding you. He calls out your name, malice dripping from the way he shouts it. He disappears from sight, presumingly moving on to the bathroom. Many things are heard being tossed around. Miguel probably was looking for evidence of you staying here, apart from the gizmo.
You gather the courage to, oh, so carefully stretch your leg out, then proceed to quietly shuffle from under the bed. You waste no time, rushing out the door, feet bare without socks or shoes. The gravel burns the soles of your feet, scraping and imprinting on the skin.
You practically succeeded in leaving the lot until you caught a glimpse of what stalked behind you. On all fours, Miguel sprinted at you, claws scuffing the concrete, like a predator running after its prey.
“Holy shit! What the actual fuck!” you panic aloud, taking your eye off what was in front of you, your mind solely focusing on the man hunting you. Big mistake on your part. A concrete parking block is in your way, but you don’t see it. You jolt forward, tripping over the block, your other foot catching you before you hit the road.
Just when you thought you still had the chance of running away, you’re sorely mistaken. Miguel pounces on you, and the clash of your bodies colliding results in Miguel tumbling down the road, you secure in his arms.
The tumble ends; you’re struggling not to vomit, head resting on Miguel’s firm chest. The world spins. It’s easy to forget your position when the urge to throw up is fresh.
Miguel holds your head, pressing a myriad of kisses on every part of the skin visible, muttering with his eyes closed. “Gracias a Dios que estás bien.” He sounds so frantic, reciting those same words, his tongue stumbling over the utterances.
His eyelids raise, uncovering his red orbs. He presses his forehead against yours, staring deeply into your eyes. It’s a domestic stunt that makes your stomach churn. “Debería estar furioso contigo, pero no lo estoy.” he huffs, then continues, “I’m happy you’re alright. I don’t know what I'd do if I lost you, mi alma.”
Taking your hand, he places a soft kiss on the back. “Had an anomaly harmed you, I would have ripped their fucking throat out!”
————————
Translations
- “¿Qué carajo?”/ what the fuck?
- “¿Dónde está ella?”/ where is she?
- “Debería estar furioso contigo, pero no lo estoy.”/ I should be furious with you, but I'm not.
- “Gracias a Dios que estás bien.”/ thank god you’re okay.
- mi alma/ my soul
4K notes · View notes
liliacamethyst · 10 months
Note
just curious if there's an extra angsty alternative drabbles because i love ur work ! like in a scenario where sun-spider isn't able to care for herself because the pregnancy is taking a toll on her or she got extremely ill OR EVEN GETTING EXTREMELY injured during a mission and lets say the gang is too caught up with spider society business to check on her, how would miguel react then?
ill leave the actual state of sun-spider in your hands 🤭
A LETTER FROM THE SUN
Thank you so much for your request, I really liked your idea- So here's an extra , extra ANGSTY (trigger warning) alternative universe Drabble. I got a little bit carried away I really hope you still enjoy it 💚:
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You can barely see through the spots dancing before your eyes as you stagger back to your apartment on Earth 586. You don't remember the walk home from the doctor's office but somehow, you made it back. The weight of the doctor's words still echo in your ears, "The childbirth... It's too dangerous. You won't survive."
It's not that you're not scared; you are, very much so. But more than that, you're filled with a fierce determination - for your child and for the world you've sworn to protect. And so, you put your mask, pull on your suit, and step into the battle once more, fighting harder than you ever have before.
But behind the brave facade, you're struggling. You're tired, your energy gone by the demands of your pregnancy and your duty as Spider-Sun. You're having to deal with the pains and discomforts that come with carrying a child, exacerbated by the unrelenting strain of your battles.
You retreat to Earth 586, hoping to find some solace and respite in your own universe. But instead, your responsibilities there seem to compound your exhaustion. There are still threats to confront, villains to vanquish, innocents to save. You're fighting two wars at the same time - one for your world, and one for your life.
The spider society is oblivious to your struggles. They are wrapped up in their own missions and agendas, too absorbed in saving the multiverse to notice your quiet battle for survival. The absence of concern from the team feels like a sting, a bitter pill to swallow, yet you say nothing, because you understand. So you hide your pain behind your bright smile and valiant spirit, because that's what you do best.
Still, as the days pass, your condition worsens. Your constant fatigue, the severe sickness and the frequent fainting spells- all signs that are hard to ignore. You're well aware that your body is pushing its limits but the love you have for your child growing inside of you keeps you from giving up. You've always fought against the odds, and you're not about to stop now - not when the stakes are that. Higher than they've ever been before.
You're fighting for two now, and that's all the motivation you need to keep going. You're ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for your child. And you'll face it with all the courage and determination that make you Spider-Sun.
-
Miguel, Gwen, Peter B, and Jess are on a mission in your Earth - Earth 586. It's been months since they've seen you, and Gwen and Peter are buzzing with excitement. Even Miguel, who maintains his stoic façade as always, has a glint in his eyes that hints at anticipation and excitement of the prospect of seeing his love again.
As they land, Gwen looks around, taking in the familiar surroundings of your world. "I can't believe it's been so long," she remarks, a hint of guilt in her voice. "We got so caught up in everything..."
Peter B chimes in, "Yeah, Sunny is gonna give us an earful for sure. I'm surprised she hasn't come to give us a welcome smack yet." His playful remark hangs in the air and everybody silently agrees.
They're here to deal with an anomaly, a Lizard-like opponent. Yet, as the fight breaks out, Peter can't help but wonder why you aren't here. This is your world, your neighborhood, your people. You're always there, ready to protect and serve. So where are you?
"Miguel!" Peter B shouts over the sounds of the fight. "Why isn't Sunny here? This is her world! Where is she?"
The fight ends sucessfully, with Jess instructed by Miguel to take the captive Lizard back to HQ. There's a tension in Miguel's voice, a sharpness that wasn't there before. He announces that he's going to look for you, his eyes flicking briefly towards the city, towards your home. “You guys go back and secure the ugly lizard. I will look where the hell Sunny is hiding.”
"We're coming with you," Gwen says firmly, Peter B nodding in agreement beside her. There's no room for argument in her voice. Miguel gives them a curt nod and so they swinf through Nea Yorkey searcing for their sun.
Gwen’s search for you leads her to knock on the doors of the neighbors in your building. Most people either shake their heads, claiming they haven't seen you, or slam the door in her face without a word. Gwen's worry deepens with each door she knocks on.
Finally, she finds a woman with a bunch of children screaming in the background. The woman looks frazzled, but she stops and listens to Gwen's questions. "Haven't seen her in days," the woman says, wiping her hands on her apron. "There was an ambulance here the other day, took her away. Ain't seen no light in her place since then."
Gwen feels as if the air has been sucked out of her lungs. She thanks the woman and rushes off to find Miguel and Peter B. Her words spill out in a rush, detailing what she found out. "Miguel," she gasps out. "Peter. Ambulance. Sunny's place."
Miguel's face goes deathly pale, and before Gwen or Peter B can react, he swings into the air, shooting webs and flying through the city with a speed and urgency that leaves them behind.
Gwen and Peter B look at each other and immediately follow, but Miguel is like a man possessed, a force of nature.
He reaches the hospital, and without a second thought, he barges through the doors. His heart is pounding in his chest, his breaths are short and ragged.
The reception desk nurses look up in surprise as Miguel, still in his Spider-Man 2099 suit, demands to know if you are in the hospital. There is a desperation as he speaks your name.
After a tense conversation with the hospital staff and almost being escorted out, Miguel is finally given the room number.
The world seems to stand still  around Miguel as he enters the room, only to find it empty. The nurse, busy tidying the space and remaking the bed, looks up in surprise at the sudden intrusion.
He's staring at the closed door when a nurse brushes past him, mumbling an apology. A sudden rush of fear and confusion go through him as he turns to see the empty hospital bed. His heart feels as if it's been ripped out from his chest. The room spins around him. Where are you?
"Excuse me, are you Miguel O'Hara?" A voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and he turns to see another nurse, her face kind but weary. He can only nod, words failing him at the moment.
"Mr. O'Hara, she's not here anymore. She... she's not with us," the nurse says gently, her eyes filled with sympathy. She hands him an envelope. "She asked me to give this to you if you ever came looking for her."
"I am sorry," she adds quietly, before turning to leave. "I'll be right back with little Gabe."
Miguel doesnt register her words. His entire world feels as though it's come crashing down around him. He sinks onto the nearby chair, clutching the envelope tightly, his eyes staring blankly at it. He's too numb to even attempt to open it or even move.
Gwen and Peter B burst into the room then, worry clearly visible on their faces. "Miguel, what's going on?" Gwen asks urgently, rushing to his side. Peter B follows her but Miguel barely hears them, his blood rushing in his ears.
The world is blurry around him, sounds are muffled and distant. The room is empty, and you are not there. ‘No es real’ and ‘por favor vuelve a mi mi sol’ are the only things he can mumble over and over again tirelessly. The reality of it feels like a crushing weight on his chest and all he can do is sit there, holding onto the last piece of you he has left. 
Dear Miguel,
If you're reading this, then I am no longer in this world. 
I just wanted to let you know that it’s not your fault and no you couldn’t have saved me. I know how you are, Miguel. You always have been the man who would try to save the world single-handedly, even if it meant sacrificing yourself in the process. But this wasn't on you. This was my choice, my decision and I stand by it. I knew the risks and I am sorry I hurt you.
But here's the thing, I have no regrets. Our child...our Gabriel, he's my most cherished gift to you, Miguel. And I know you, with your awkward, nerdy charm and those terrible dad jokes you think are hilarious, will be an amazing father. You were born to be a dad - it's like your destiny. And guess what? This is your second chance to be the best dad you were always supposed to be.
I know you will protect our baby with every fiber of your being. That's just who you are. My last wish is that you give Gabriel the life he deserves. Raise him, love him, be there for him. That's all I want, Miguel.
And if you ever miss me, just look up to the sky, and I'll be there. Even if you can't see me, know that I'm probably hiding behind a cloud, always watching over and protecting you and our Gabriel.
P.S. Please let Gwen, Peter, Jess, Hobie, Miles, Pav and the rest of the squad know how thankful I am for them. They’ve been family, and I know they will rock as godparents.
Forever shining for you, 
Tu sol
The door opens again, and the nurse walks in, cradling a tiny bundle in her arms. A baby. A newborn.
As soon as Miguel held the newborn,his son, securely in his arms, he makes a silent promise to you, wherever you are, that he will honor your last wish. He will be the father Gabriel deserves and he will make sure that your sacrifice and love will never be forgotten.
After all, how could anyone possibly forget about the sun?
2K notes · View notes
nev3rfound · 10 months
Text
out of sight : m.h
everyone at HQ is looking for you, and all signs lead to Miguel, yet for some reason, he won't explain where it is you're hiding. 913 words.
masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop
(requests are open, slowly working through them:))
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Keeping his gaze fixated on the monitors in front of him, Miguel sighs at the sound of the door opening and slamming shut.
"Hey bossman," Hobie yells, waving his arm in the air whilst Miguel's back remains turned. "charmin' as always, any way you seen Y/n about?" He continues despite the silence that ensues from the platform. "She said she'd be 'ere today, but not seen her."
"She's not here." Miguel simply answers, Lyla appears in front of him lowering her heart-shaped glasses, only to roll her eyes. Feeling Hobie's presence still lingering below, Miguel forces himself to look over his shoulder. "Something else you need?" He coldly questions, only to see Hobie shake his head and salute before exiting the room, the door slamming once more causing Miguel to shudder.
Lyla tuts to herself, crossing her arms over her chest. "You know, words going to get around, Miguel." Lyla sings, glancing upward before returning to see Miguel's expression remaining stoic. "Hobie isn't going to be the only visitor you know."
"It's none of their business." Miguel states. "It's best they don't know."
Humming in response, Lyla's smile only grows at the hint of concern crossing Miguel's face. "Sure." She shrugs, disappearing from his view whilst he returns to work.
Oblivious to the goings on, Peter strolls into Miguel's office with Mayday in his arms who continues to babble in his embrace. "I know, but I'm sure the big guy knows, Mayday." Peter explains quietly, hoping to see you perched on the platform with Miguel. Yet, you're nowhere to be seen in the room.
"Looks like you've got another visitor." Lyla chimes in.
Miguel groans internally, turning around as the platform slower lowers to reveal the sight of Peter B Parker and Mayday, who is hanging upside down in Peter's arms.
"What do you want?" Miguel doesn't bother to disguise his annoyance, even as Mayday reaches out for him.
Pulling her back, Peter averts his focus from Miguel's scowl. "Oh you know, Mayday was hoping to see Y/n. Overdue a game of hide and seek." Peter chuckles, only to be met with silence in response. "You seen her around?"
"She's not here, Peter." Miguel states, walking back to his platform and returning his attention to work.
Not quite convinced, Peter lifts his head up past the platform, noticing a stream of light to the left of the platform. "Well, worth a try." He calls out, tuning his ears to try and hear something, anything. And then he hears it. "I'll see you around, Miguel!"
Walking out of the office, Peter smiles to himself, only to be interrupted by Hobie and Gwen. "Well, where is she?" Gwen asks with a huff.
Hobie shakes his head with a half smile. "He ain't sayin." Hobie remarks, throwing his arm over Gwen's shoulders. "Come on, Gwen, best we leave 'em to it, yeah."
Back inside Miguel's office, he remains in front of the screens of amber, watching the various worlds until he hears the sound of movement to his left.
Checking the surrounding areas of the room, and the cameras around HQ, Miguel steps away from the screens to the small door on his left. "Hola, mi amor." Miguel whispers, cracking the door ajar to reveal you curled up in a twin bed, an eye mask covering your eyes and mouth ajar, snoring lightly. "Y/n?" He gently rubs your exposed shin, only to be met with a kick and a groan of you waking up.
"Miggy?" You mumble, lifting the eyemask up only to squint immediately at the angelic glow forming around Miguel. "'M still dreaming, aren't I?" Yawning through your question, Miguel shuffles into the room to sit on the edge of the bed.
"How's your head?" Miguel keeps his voice low, helping you sit upright before passing you some more water.
Taking a long sip, you sigh as the glass leaves your lips. "Never had any complaints." You joke, resulting in Miguel rolling his eyes whilst you chuckle to yourself. "It's a bit better, think the worst of the migraine is over."
"Tu quieres quedar, la monada?" Quick to slump against Miguel's lap, you hum in response, muttering something under your breath. "Que?"
"Heard you talking to the others." The mumble is more coherent this time, and Miguel nods. "Thank you, I'll make it up to Mayday tomorrow."
"Only when you're ready." Miguel strokes your hair from your face, removing the face mask hanging from your forehead. "Go back to sleep, okay? I'll check on you in a bit." He leans down, kissing your temple before helping you back to lying down.
As Miguel rises to leave, your hand shoots out to grab his. "Can you stay for a bit? Just 'til I nod off again?" Your pout was almost irresistible, something you knew and often used to get your way when it came to the big boss, much to his own dismay.
"I'll keep my eye out, boss." Lyla comments, appearing beside you, and smirking at you with a knowing nod.
"Fine." Miguel admits defeat, lifting his arms up for you to bury your face into his chest. "Ten minutes, Lyla, si?"
Checking her watch, Lyla nods before disappearing once more, and Miguel can't help but allow his eyes to close, just for a minute.
"Ugh, they're so cute." Lyla takes a photo, knowing somewhere in Miguel's heart, he'll love having this moment immortalized for all to see (well, maybe just you.)
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little-miss-dilf-lover · 11 months
Note
me casually thinking about miguel o'hara discovering reader's notebook accidentally left on her desk filled with cutesy drawings of him (hearts and all) and personal entries of what they think of him
perhaps there's a playful confrontation?
hii!! omg this is so cute!! I did change a couple small things, hope that’s okay. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌
doodles
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Miguel O’hara x fem!reader
wc || 1005
warnings || none, just fluff
part 2 -> doodles
masterlist
Sometimes during meetings at HQ, you were so bored listening to Miguel drone on and on that you'd often draw as a way to kill time. You'd have your mini notepad hidden behind your arm as you doodled onto the page, drawing and sketching whatever was around you. More often than not, Miguel would be a victim of your boredom. You'd doodle angry sketches of him as he stood there talking to the other spiders, scolding them or telling them off for things they've done wrong.
So like any other day, you had your doodle pad on the table hidden behind your bent elbow, drawing little sketches of everyone. Finishing up on Hobie's drawing, you glance over to Peter B, noticing Mayday's cute expression as she mimicked Miguel. 
You quickly sketched her, drawing her hat with locks of curly hair and a toothy grin hidden behind, finishing it by adding little mini hearts around her. You turn to Miguel next to her and doodle a softer sketch of him than you typically would. A little drawing where he is subtly smiling into the fist of his hand as he watches Mayday, a moment where he looks somewhat happy. You scribble away with his sketch, pencil to paper as you capture the unfamiliar expression on his face. You finish the doodle by adding small notes beside his face, little thoughts and entries of your undeclared feelings towards him.
You excuse yourself to the restroom, placing your notepad on your chair, discreetly hiding it as you stand from your seat. You make your way over to the door, mouthing to Miguel, "pee break," with a smile as you walk passed the other spiders. 
Miguel wasn't oblivious to your doodles. He often pays attention to you when you don't even realise it, watching you scribble away in your notepad, clearly disengaged in the meetings as he speaks with you and the other spiders. If anyone, anyone acted as uninterested as you during conversations, he would've lost his temper, but not with you. When you did it, he found it sweet, endearing almost.
You thought you were being discreet with your doodles, believing that you've played Miguel, but like always, he was a few steps ahead. So, as soon as you leave the room, he stalks over to your chair, snatching the book and hiding it under his arm before excusing himself from the room.
He was pacing outside the seminar room, fingers tapping on the cover of your notebook as if he was battling with himself; either sneak a look and betray your trust or leave it be. He knew he couldn't ruin what he had with you, so he decided on the latter.
"What are you doing with that?" you ask, your eyes squint in focus as you walk towards him.
"What is it?" he asks, waving the book at you, his gaze following you as you get closer.
"Give it back,"
"You didn't answer my question," he wryly smiles, his head cocking to the side.
"You didn't answer mine," you say playfully, hiding a smirk.
He stifles a snicker, averting from your gaze. "Can I see?" he asks, his tone genuine as he nods to your pad.
"No,"
"Why?" he grins, extending his arm so it was out of your reach.
"Oh, that's not fair," you jokingly frown, tugging his arm.
"Why can't you show me?"
"They're just crappy doodles," you shrug, partially lying. "Please- it's embarrassing, give it back," 
"Okay," he nods, lowering his arm, raising it again as if to play you. "Why can't I see? Am I in there?" smirking.
Your eyes bug, and you feel the heat rush to your hands, feeling nothing but embarrassment under his attention. He must've sensed your unease because he hands you the book with no objection, avoiding your gaze.
"Thanks," you sheepishly smile, hiding the book under your arm. "They're just sketches of Mayday and Pav and stuff," you say, trying to ease the slight tension. Even though you didn't want him to see, you still felt a little guilty about it. He was only showing his interest, that's all. He wasn't being mean or critical. He just seemed genuinely curious about your drawings.
"I'm sure they're good," he smiles small, nodding towards the door as if it was time to join the rest of the group again. "You don't have to show me. If they're private, I get it," he comforts, dropping the question as he extends a hand.
"You can't be mean about them," you say quietly, pulling out your notepad. "If I show you... you can't be mean about them,"
A smile slowly creeps on his face, his eyes softening at the idea. "Promise," he grins, ushering you to the nearby bench. "I wouldn't dream of it,"
You sit down, and Miguel joins you seconds later, sitting close to you, inches apart. You hand him your work and look away, feeling too embarrassed. 
He's quiet, far too quiet, and it's making you anxious. 
"I told you they're bad," you awkwardly laugh. 
He doesn't say anything. He just smiles, looking over your mini sketches. 
"What uh- what'd you think?" you ask, glancing between him and the page.
"You did these?" he questions, his eyes focused on the paper.  
"Yeah," you coyly smile, chuckling.
"They're amazing. This one- is it meant to be me?" he grins, looking up to find your gaze. He softly laughs, pointing to a sketch in the corner. "Why do I look so angry?" 
"That's how you always look, Miguel," you laugh, playfully nudging his side. 
"Is that why I have... squiggly lines coming from my head?" he grins earnestly, watching the smile widen on your face. "And the frown lines?"
"You were being mean that day," you justify, snickering.
"Oh, really? Huh?"
You were thankful he stopped flicking pages when he did, as there were drawings and notes a few pages over with some thoughts and feelings you weren't yet ready to share, notations of your personal feelings towards Miguel.
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bishopsbeloved · 3 months
Text
the art of falling in love (part five)
natasha romanoff x fem reader
best friend!yelena belova, aroace!yelena belova, internalised homophobia, found family trope, coming of age, angst, fluff (eventual happy ending)
part one | part two | part three | part four | part five (16.3k words) | epilogue
read this fic on ao3!
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Death was first explained to you and Yelena when you were six; Yelena’s favourite of her mother’s pigs passed away, and you were both called in from playing outside to be sat down gravely.
“Girls… Wilbur the piggy has, ah, passed away,” Alexi told you. You stared back at him blankly.
“Do you know what that means?” added Melina more gently.
“Uh… Peter from class said his mom and dad passed away,” Yelena offered after a few moments. “And it means that, like, he can’t see them ever again, so he lives with his aunt now.”
“Yes!” said Alexi enthusiastically, before catching himself and adding in a much more solemn tone, “I mean, ah, yes… very sad. Not good.”
Melina looked at him sternly and he fell silent. “You are right, Yelena. When someone passes away, it means they are no longer with us.”
“Like when you go to the store?”
“No. When I go to the store I am always coming back, да? Passing away is permanent, and it means you never see them again.”
“Oh. But I like Wilbur,” said Yelena sadly, and you nodded in agreement.
“That is what makes life all the more precious,” Melina told you gently. “You never know when someone may pass away — only that everybody will, someday. So you must enjoy the time you have with them, my darlings, and never take it for granted.”
As the years went on and the two of you began to understand what death actually means, that first introduction to it became somewhat of a running joke between you and Yelena (because how else can humans deal with such a terrifying concept as death? You can choose to either laugh or cry, and Yelena will always choose to laugh); the idea of someone passing away will often be referred to as going to the store. For example, Alexi is probably the sole man responsible for the entirety of Ohio state’s roadkill — neither you nor Yelena can remember a car journey with him in the wheel during which some unfortunate creature has not stumbled into his path and suffered fatally for that mistake. Every time it happens, without fail, Yelena will turn around eagerly in her seat or poke her head out of the window and assess the damage before gravely announcing, “That one is definitely not coming back from store.”
It’s a euphemism that can be used in any situation — and often is, actually. Whenever the TV signal packs up (as it often does in such a rural town as your own) and the Kardashians begin to cut out awkwardly, Yelena will throw down the remote and shout in frustration “Ma! The fork thingy on the roof has gone store again,” and Melina will know exactly what she means. Or whenever your history teacher Mr Fury hobbles into class, who is so old he looks like he’s witnessed half the events he teaches you, Yelena will nudge you and whisper “he is close to store’s doorstep now, eh?” Et cetera, et cetera. The phrase gets used often.
You feel silly for your mind wandering to those words, given the circumstances. But all you can think of right now is your overwhelming hopes and prayers that Liho has not gone to the store — and that neither has your bond with Yelena. As for Natasha… well, recent times have been a cruel wake-up call.
It’s been a few hours since Melina left with the cat, and the only text you’ve gotten from her since then says cat in surgery now. Yelena has barricaded herself in your shared room — her room now, you think miserably to yourself. You have never, ever seen her so upset, not in your whole life. You don’t think you’ve ever even argued with her, outside of your usual half-hearted play wrestles. But now she’s shouted at you through your thick heavy door, a solid wall between you, putting miles between the two of you but still not enough distance to lessen the brutality of the words she hurls at you from the other side of it. Words you can’t think of for too long or tears will begin to brim in your eyes all over again. Words which you know you deserve, but ones you never thought you’d hear your best friend say to you.
Now you sit uncomfortably stiff on the couch, feeling like a stranger in the home you’ve grown up in, the silence threatening to suffocate you. You feel almost like a prisoner in your body, unable to move as you relieve the last few hours over and over in your head. There’s no doubt in your mind that Yelena is right. You are an awful person. If you weren’t, if you were better, maybe Natasha would still want you, instead of casting you aside once you began to bore her. Maybe if you were better you’d have been sensible or strong enough to not sneak around with her at all. But you’re not, and now you’ve broken apart a family you weren’t even worthy of in the first place.
Natasha is sat in the armchair opposite you, legs curled beneath her, nursing her bloody nose. Her gaze has been fixed on you for the indeterminable amount of time you’ve both been sat here, but you are too exhausted to care. For once, you have much, much bigger problems than her feelings.
Eventually, she speaks, more subdued than usual. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Your voice doesn’t sound like yours. It’s somewhere else, someone else’s, far away.
“For…” She hesitates. Like there’s something she doesn’t want to say out loud. “For not, uh. For treating you badly.”
Well, that’s not really what you expected her to say.
Your silence prompts her to flounder further. “I just— I don’t, well, I can’t really explain a lot, but I— I know I messed up. You deserved better. And I’m sorry.”
And you’re so done with her, and so little of yourself is left now that you simply stand up and walk away.
Natasha doesn’t even call after you, just kind of makes this sad and defeated little noise that makes your heart hurt. You know it would just ache even more if you turned around again, though. So you don’t. You walk the hall for a few aimless moments before your feet carry you to the only person currently home who you still have a dependable relationship with — Alexi.
His workshop, as he calls it, is adjoined to the kitchen; a tiny wooden door which he has to bend himself double to fit through, leading to the garage. This has been his space for as long as you can remember. You have no idea how he moves with such ease through it when it’s like a maze to you — huge chunks of greasy half-repaired machinery everywhere, cluttered workbenches and racks of tools and shelves of liquids labelled in his indecipherable Russian scrawl. He often has the tiny tin portable perched on a shelf squeaking out radio shows in his mothertongue which he guffaws merrily at, but as you enter now the room is peacefully quiet, save for Alexi’s disjointed hums of a thousand songs in one and the little chink noises the piece of metal he’s working on makes every time he hits it, slowly bending it into shape.
“Ah, привет! Good evening, daughter,” he says cheerfully, without even turning around as you creep up barefoot behind him. He doesn’t say anything more, and neither do you, for a while; you opt to simply sink down onto one of the wooden stools littered about the place and watch Alexi absently while he works. This doesn’t faze him at all. On the occasions where Yelena was busy without you as a kid, you would do this very thing. Alexi would simply chuckle at you and ruffle your hair with a large bearish hand, oftentimes leaving behind little smudges of black motor oil in it. You’re still in your prom outfit, though, with your hair done up intricately, so tonight he stops himself in time.
“Do you think Liho will be okay?” you ask after a while, in a very small voice.
“Oh, да,” he replies, without hesitation. Even with his back to you as he tinkers busily you can hear the sincerity in his tone. “Yes, yes. Think of what that kitty has been through already, eh? When you found him he was doing worse than that. He is, uh, tough meat. A fighter.”
Seeing Alexi so placid and unshaken in the face of tonight’s events is strangely calming and you nod, soothed by his words, before another thought strikes you. “Oh… but the vet bills.”
Alexi lets out a low but not unkind laugh. “Ah, не будь глупым, you worry so much. We will figure those out. Melina is a sly fox, has money tucked away in hidey-holes, eh?”
“But— I mean —” You twitch uncomfortably, and Alexi seems to finally cotton onto what it is that you’re really worried about. He sets down his tools with his usual gentleness, which never fails to look foreign on such a giant of a man, and turns to look at you.
“You are member of this family,” he tells you. “No matter what Yelena say. She is angry, sure, but it will blow over, eh? You love the silly little fur man, and we do too. So if these bills will help him of course we will pay it. There is no need for worry.”
“But I ruined everything,” you say quietly.
He laughs again. “Nonsense. You have not ruined any of the things, голубка.”
“But… your date night. And— Natasha,” you hiccup.
“We have date nights all the time, подсолнух, there will be others. And Natasha… well, me and your mama are knowing this for long time. Yelena will be coming round also, eventually. We will figure this all out, we are a family. She is your sister. All of the things will be okay. None of them are ruined.”
And you can’t help but cry at that, at his earnest sincerity, his certainty that things will work out — and because you love him, and he is your family. You tell him so through choked sobs, and he just looks at you softly before wrapping you into a petrol-scented bear hug, prom outfit be damned.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe everything will be okay.
Yelena sinks into another episode over the following days. She does nothing much but sit, a vacant look in her eyes, devoid of any feeling, and stare for hours at a time as though seeing something that the rest of you cannot. She has no words left to give, and drifts around on autopilot, only performing basic functional tasks when prompted to — as if they’re an afterthought. Seeing her like this wracks you with guilt in a way none of her episodes have before, because for the first time you know with a crushing certainty that this is because of you. You offer countless times to return to your parents’ house across the road, the residents of which you haven’t conversed with in months, but Alexi and Melina dismiss this as if it’s the silliest idea in the world.
“You are family,” Melina tells you firmly. “Fights happen, да? You stay.”
Even if you’re still welcome in the house you’re certainly not welcome in your usual room. Natasha offers to put you up in hers but drops this very quickly after the look that you give her, so instead a section of the loft is cleared for you. You and Alexi spend a merry Sunday together in his workshop assembling a bedframe for your new space, only to discover once you’ve made it upstairs that it’s actually too large to fit through the attic hatch, so you have to take it to bits to get it up there and then rebuild it all over again. (It doesn’t really matter though, because Alexi is so bemused by the whole thing and his own oversights that it’s impossible to be frustrated at the setback. He just grins so goofily.) When Yelena is in the shower you sneak back into her room to gather as many of your belongings as you can and begin to turn the little space into yours. Melina brings home some fairy lights from the store, you order some posters online and within a week or so you’ve organised yourself a very cozy nest amongst the mess of the loft.
Even now you’ve moved in, over half of the room is still piled high with boxes of various things and piles of junk and the distinct, cloth-draped, dust-gathering shapes of Alexi’s abandoned projects (which he insists on keeping on the basis that he might need them someday, much to Melina’s theatrical chagrin). The various artefacts throughout the room create a kind of ever-changing maze, and you remember playing up here with Yelena when the two of you were kids and it was too cold to play outside — for you, anyway, being someone who’s grown up in a relatively warm American state. To this day Yelena often scorns you for your inability to tolerate any kind of cold, and reminds you of the climates the rest of the family has lived in.
Thinking of her makes your heart involuntarily twinge, and you wince, standing from your perch on the end of your new bed in the vain hopes of shaking it off. As you do so something in the opposite corner of the room catches your eye; the neat pile of scrapbooks Melina worked on for years when you were kids. “I’m going full American mama,” she would quip, spending hours of an evening painstakingly prettying the pages laden with pictures that Alexi had taken throughout the day. You find yourself warmed by these memories, and drift over to the pile of books, settling before it. The newest scrapbooks are naturally at the top, so you shuffle through the pile until you reach the very first scrapbook Mama Melina ever made, which begins the day Yelena came home. You settle down comfortably on the floor, cross-legged like you’re a kid again, and begin to flip through its pages; the very first are adorned with pictures of Melina and Alexi in their youth, and then on their wedding day. After that is the day Yelena came home, absolutely unfazed by this strange new country and its drawling people. Every single photo has the date it was taken written beneath it in perfect cursive, and through the timeline shown you can see that it was barely two weeks into Yelena’s residency here before you and her properly met, and became firm friends. Things progress like that for two years, from when you were five until when you were seven; regular entries are made in the scrapbooks documenting road trips and school plays and lost teeth, all of which you smile upon fondly.
Halfway through the third scrapbook, Natasha comes home. You recognise one of the many pictures documenting this milestone as one that hangs large and framed with pride downstairs above the fire; a stunned, still blue-haired Natalia swathed in thermals, huddled in the corner of Alexi’s rickety old fighter jet on the journey back from the motherland, beaming widely up at whoever’s taking the photo. Despite the fact that you see it every day, seeing it alongside so many others in which she’s so bewildered but so, so happy makes your heart feel so strongly that you have to flip ahead.
You pore over the pages of the main scrapbooks with interest for a while longer, until the main timeline ends and divulges into you, Yelena and Natasha each having your own dedicated scrapbooks. You have no interest in studying your own baby photos, and given all that’s going on reliving Yelena’s would be unbearable right now, so instead you find yourself picking up Natasha’s, and pushing the others aside.
Seeing her grow up before your eyes like this is surreal. In reality you were by her side every day, and most of these changes happen so gradually that you barely even noticed them, but here are immortalised stills from throughout the years which show how she’s grown. When she first came home she hadn’t had her growth spurt yet, and still had her gentle Russian lilt which the rest of her family retains to this day. As she starts attending public school and socialising with her peers you can see that something changes very hastily within her; a light kind of fades from her eyes. The blue is bleached from her hair, and as the red fades back in its place she seems to fade a little too — into the quiet, observant Natasha that you know today. She doesn’t seem unhappy, as such, but… uncertain, and it dredges up a kind of sadness in your chest that forces you to push the book away, lest the tears in your eyes follow through with their threat to overspill.
You’ve always seen Natasha as someone so secure and sure of herself — so much so that she doesn’t feel the need to speak over anyone else in the room in order to get her opinions across. When she does speak it’s usually a quick, cutting remark that earns laughs and leaves everyone eager to hear more out of her. When she walks into a room heads turn to look at her, no matter where she goes. She knows that. She’s someone worth paying attention to. It’s never occurred to you, not once in your life, that her behaviours aren’t the result of something different. But looking at these pictures has stirred up something in you which you can’t quite describe. A deep sadness at the fact that you’ve probably never known her at all, aside from the parts of the real her that have slipped through the cracks; her Russian accent and sleepy kisses first thing in the morning, her goodnight texts, the way she doesn’t need to ask your order at drive-thrus or coffee shops, the notes she’d leave under your pillow. That’s Natasha. Not whoever this is who’s pushed you away. Not this girl who has bleached the childhood from her hair and taught herself how to be from another place.
You pile the scrapbooks back in the neat and tidy order in which you found them and crawl back to your bed, flopping into it, utterly emotionally exhausted by this trip down memory lane. You think it’s dark outside… you’re certainly tired enough to rest now, anyway, and you do; drifting in and out of an uneasy slumber, visited by vague and twisted recollections from your childhood which disappear upon your waking again, before you can grasp them properly, like the sand of your youth slipping through your fingers.
Mama Melina is a woman of science. She’s always considered herself a grounded person. She doesn’t concern herself with what she doesn’t understand, or care for (namely whatever she cannot see for certain with her own two eyes) to the extent that this is the path her career has taken, and is now what feeds her children. She is, objectively, an intellectual woman. Her analytical methods of thinking have led to scientific breakthroughs in her area of expertise, and she is renowned as an expert at her job. She did not reach this point through belief in the spiritual, or abstract. Hell, being raised in an orphanage herself, she didn’t even really believe in true romantic love until Alexi bore his whole earnest heart to her.
One day, when you were young, you came home from school and, with frightening nonchalance, came home and asked if one of your classmates had been correct in saying that people who kissed others of the same gender were hell-headed sinners. Melina abruptly halted her mundane household task and sat you down, taking one of your hands in hers.
“Sin is a fairytale,” she told you, as delicately as she could. “Nobody knows for certain whether sin or God or heaven or hell are real. To believe that is a choice, a leap of faith which certain people make. But all we know for certain is what’s here now, да? Like I am real, you are real,” she cupped your little face between her warm hands and squeezed gently, making you wrinkle your nose and wriggle happily, “Baba and Yelena are real. But sin is thing you choose to believe in. It is made up stories to make us feel better about death but it does not matter, малыш. What matters is what we do now, when we are alive, not what we do to secure a place in an afterlife that might not exist, eh? We are kind to each other now while we live because we know it to be true that we’re alive. To tell someone else who to kiss was wrong and unkind of that boy at school. Worry about the afterlife once you get there, да? If you want to kiss girls, kiss girls. No one who is kind or worth your time will care.”
She kissed the top of your head before standing back up and returning to her cleaning. No more words were exchanged on the prospect, but from that day onward it has appeared to be common knowledge in the household that you like girls, and that Melina is not a fan of religion justifying bigotry.
In all honesty, she is not a fan of anything that’s not an irrefutable truth. Science is her preferred method of explanation for any problem that may occur. But as her relationship with Alexi has blossomed, and then in turn the ones she shares with her daughters too, she’s learned that facts and feelings do not have to be mutually exclusive. Some of the complexities of the human mind are far beyond her understanding, or indeed any of us — and yet this is a truth which ought to be embraced, not feared. The greatest joys in Melina’s life are its mysteries.
And so Mama Melina has never questioned the dynamic you and Natasha share; at least to her, it’s seemed crystal clear since day one that the two of you harbour affections for one another — admittedly for reasons beyond her comprehension, but it’s nonetheless undeniable to anyone who knows you like she does. She’s watched you grow all of your lives, delicately inching closer to one another like two flowers craning their necks to reach the sun. Melina long ago accepted she’ll never in this lifetime know what higher power reigns as a puppeteer over her, or understand the complexities of love, but she knows better than to pretend as if some things in this world aren’t inexplicably and cosmically connected. You and Natasha only prove this point. If she looks hard enough, Melina can see the red thread that runs from your body to her daughter’s.
Alexi, by far the romantic, wholeheartedly agrees with her, which only furthers Melina’s convictions (he would know better than her, she reasons) — although admittedly the events of the last few months have blindsided the both of them. Melina appears to be more concerned by it than her husband, though; so much so that one night she actually sits him down to ask if he even knows what’s going on, and why there’s this big gaping gulf between her daughters, tearing her family apart.
Alexi just guffaws, so full of mirth that Melina is startled. “Ah Боже мой, my love. Do not be silly, I would have to be blind to miss those daggers over dinner, no? No, do not worry, I’m understand. But love is not easy, ah? Its course has never run so smooth. Remember when I first asked out you? You were so… skittish, like little kitten, for weeks,” he recalls with shining eyes. “And look where we ended up now, ah? These are silly babies. They’ll make mistakes. They need the time that you did.”
His words soothe her, in the way that they always do. She relaxes into his comforting embrace with the knowledge that even if she’s the intellectual (and financial) breadwinner in this relationship, Alexi always knows what to say in the face of the heart’s unpredictability. Maybe he is right. Maybe everyone just needs some time.
So, despite her doubts, time is what Melina gives.
Two weeks after that conversation, Liho comes home. His fur is patchy where it’s been shorn off and started to grow back again, and one of his legs is still bound tightly, but he’s back and he’s yours. He leaps happily into your arms when he sees you (despite the yelp of alarm Melina makes) and it’s like he never left. Yelena comes the closest to you that she’s been in weeks to pet his head while he’s curled up against your chest, and she even allows a smile to escape. You can’t help but smile back, like the beginning of spring after a long harsh winter, hope blossoming in your chest once again.
In the time that it’s taken him to come home, other things have happened too. Natasha’s nose, displaced by the punch Yelena successfully laid on her, heals quickly. Your relationship does not. Something unspoken festers between the two of you, hardening and shrinking and blackening into a sickening nothingness. You can’t look at her now without the taste of something bitter filling your mouth — and yet that boiling hot liquid rage still fills your chest when you think of her with someone else. How is it possible to love someone so much but hate them at the same time? You wish, more than anything, that none of this happened. You wish she would just let you love her without having to ruin it for the both of you.
It’s such an indescribably lonely feeling that the two of you are like this now, when only a short time ago the two of you bore open hearts to one another — well, you gave yours to Natasha, anyway. The more you think about it the less of her you have ever known. She’s a stranger to you. Quite a few times since prom night she’s tried to speak to you — offering another half-assed apology, no doubt — but you’ve only ever shut her down. What is there left to say? Nothing that you want to hear, for sure.
(And maybe the things that still hang heavy in the air between you are better left unsaid.)
A few days after Liho comes home you’re laid on your bed in the attic, with your baby boy himself curled comfortably on your chest, purring away merrily as you scratch at his head. There’s some soft music on in the background but neither of you are really doing much. You’re just trying to enjoy his company, (and he’s evidently enjoying yours,) now that you know not to take it for granted.
The scare you’ve had with him has shifted your perspective on a lot, actually — it’s been a rude but much-needed wake up call. Yelena, just like Liho, is your family, and you want to make up with her. Who knows how long either of you have left, or what might happen?
Yes, you absolutely want to be her sister again. You’re just not sure where to even start.
The knock that comes at your door is unexpected, though, and only more unexpected when you see who your mystery visitor actually is. Yelena stands in your doorway, eyes fixed on Liho on your chest. He mews happily when he sees her.
“Кот,” she says hoarsely, holding out her arms and making grabby hands. You blink, stunned for a moment at the fact that she is talking at all, let alone talking to you. This would usually be a good sign, one that she’s coming back into herself, but these naturally are unprecedented circumstances, and you can’t really be certain what anything means anymore.
Yelena steps forward, jerking you out of your trance; you shoot to your feet and kiss Liho on the forehead before holding him out to her with your hands beneath his armpits so that his legs dangle underneath him, rendering him comically long and thin. Lena scoops him up and curls him against her chest; he purrs contentedly and her eyes crinkle in quiet gratitude before she leaves, humming her song to herself.
You almost call out to her, but your body freezes. The door closes behind her you scold yourself for not reaching out, for trying to close this rift between you, but maybe you’ve not given her long enough yet.
What Yelena needs is time, you know. Her whole world has been turned upside down and she has to rebuild it piece by piece. But how much time is enough?
Well, as it turns out, you won’t have to wait much longer.
It’s the last week of school, just over five weeks now since your catastrophic prom night, and you’ve just walked out of your last final. Sam Wilson is waiting for you outside the doors with your favourite flavour of popsicle in his hand, and is already busily consuming his own. When he spots you he waves a broad hand merrily, and you make your way over to him.
“I’m sure you aced it, squirt,” he says before you can even open your mouth, and offers you the popsicle. Unfortunately you’re all too familiar to Ohio’s stifling summer air, making every thought or movement damp and groggy. You accept it gratefully.
Your core friendship group, which you’ve been in for years now, has been pretty turbulent since things went down between you and Yelena. Pairing that with finals and early graduations, you can feel a permanent shift occurring, and it’s frightening. Everyone’s still making  effort to maintain contact with you, but this change on top of everything else has you feeling like you’re drowning when you think too long about it.  It seems like you never know what are the golden days until they’re gone. (You got twelve golden years with Yelena, but is that where it ends? Will she ever tolerate your presence in her life again?)
Someone who you couldn’t be more grateful for throughout all of this is Sam. One day not long after everything happened you came to him crying, and confessed everything. He patted your back with an aura of awkward concern until your sobs subsided, at which point all he had to offer was, “Huh. Well, I guess that explains why prom night went to shit.”
You can’t help but admire the way that he takes everything in his stride. Nothing fazes him. It’s welcome after spending so long around Natasha, who’s constantly on edge, worried someone else might see her with you. Sam is so unbothered, just being in his presence is calming. He’s become a good and valued friend to you.
“That was your last final,” he reminds you, bringing you back to the present moment. “You’re free now for the whole summer.”
“Oh fuck yeah, man,” you say as the realisation dawns on you.
“How’d you want to celebrate?”
You look up at him and a toothy grin takes root on his face as he realises what you’re about to say.
“Arcade,” you say and he nods fervently in agreement. In recent times you’ve become its most loyal patrons; you retreat there often after classes, whether it’s to recuperate from a bad day or celebrate a good one. Today, thankfully, appears to be the latter.
“Arcade,” he repeats happily, and the two of you amble off out of the school gates and down the hill toward the centre of town, where the Boulevard housing the arcade is located. You chat happily for a little while, about your plans for the summer and what you might do together.
“And, uh… any updates on your… anything?” he asks delicately. It’s a vague question but of course you know what he means.
“Not really.” You deflate a little. “I’m not sure Lena wants me around anymore, to be honest.”
“I’m sure she does,” Sam consoles with a startling certainty. “Seriously. What about Natasha?”
You just shake your head. “I don’t want to… I can’t. Not until Lena…”
“Gives you the okay,” he nods understandingly.
“Yeah, I guess. But until she’s sorry, too. She was really mean,” you say quietly.
“Yeah, I get that. It’ll be okay, man.”
You’re not so sure about that, but before you can express this you cross the road and the two of you have reached the arcade, where your troubles are promptly forgotten.
Sam’s words are very quickly proven correct, though — within only a few hours. You arrive home from your arcade trip with some silly winnings tucked under your arm and a smile on your face. It is Friday night, date night for Melina and Alexi, so a car is missing from the driveway and the kitchen is empty as you enter.
Perfect, you think to yourself, and begin to fix yourself some food. These days you’re very careful not to venture into the communal areas of the house unless you’re sure you won’t be treading on anyone else’s toes. You kind of feel like a burden as it is — you’re not a proper part of this family anyway, not in the way that everyone else is — and you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable in their own home. So you’ve moved bedrooms and now you meticulously strategise what times you’ll make an expedition down to the kitchen. (Sometimes, when you’ve not had a chance to eat yet, you’ll open your bedroom door to a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of you. Everyone in the house denies knowledge when asked but you have your suspicions of who’s behind it.)
Sometimes you think about moving back to the place where you were born, but you’re not sure if you could stomach that. That feels like a forever choice. There’s no going back from that.
Liho pads up to you, excited that you’re home and even more excited that you’re making food. Unable to help yourself, you indulge him with some chin scratches and scraps. Life’s too short, you say. Why shouldn’t you make a fuss of your boy?
He winds himself around your legs contentedly while you cook. It is just you and him and school has finished and you have the whole summer to do what you want, and you are cooking, and for the first time in a while you are able to shut off and experience a moment of complete peace.
Naturally, with the trajectory of your life at the minute, this peace does not last long.
“Is Sam Wilson your new best friend?” says a cool voice behind you. You actually yelp in alarm, and very ungracefully fumble with the piping hot utensils you’re using, burning your hand in the process. Liho hisses, and you do too, making a beeline for the sink.
“Don’t sneak up on me like that,” you mutter half-heartedly. Yelena, now moving to stand fully in the light, just makes a noise in the back of her throat as she opens the cupboard above your head and reaches for the first-aid kit. Her face is carefully unbothered.
“I only asked a question,” she says, moving your food off of the heat. Liho claws at your ankles worriedly. You struggle to process Yelena’s words, much less the fact that she is talking to you. Did you blink and miss a chapter?
“Uh,” you rub at the back of your neck with your hand not under running water, “n-no. No, he’s not my new best friend. I don’t,” your voice drops, and you look away, “I don’t think I have one anymore.”
“You do,” she informs you matter-of-factly, hopping up onto the counter beside you and swinging her legs while you continue to bathe your hand. “If you still want one. But she is very mad at you.”
Your voice catches in your throat.
“She does love you,” Lena continues, “but she is wondering why you did things in the way you did.”
There’s a moment of quiet. You gather your thoughts. You weren’t expecting to have this talk tonight.
“I was scared,” you tell her.
“Of what?”
“Of,” you gesture between the two of you, “this. Of making things bad. I always figured it would be like a,” you tilt your head back to keep from crying, because now would be a stupid time to cry, “a stupid schoolgirl crush, you know? She never even spoke to me, I was just her little sister’s dumb best friend, but then things happened and it was so fast and I was so scared. And I wanted to tell you but she… didn’t. She only wanted me when no one else could see. I guess I hoped that she would — come around, eventually, and then I wouldn’t be lying anymore.” You’re heaving with the effort to not cry. “I was wrong.”
“All this time the mystery girl was treating you like shit, you could have told me who it was,” Yelena implores. “I love my sister but she makes me sad also. She can be a dick, absolutely. She’s the worst. Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“She’s your family,” you choke. “I couldn’t cause a— a rift or a problem like that. And what if you believed her over me? And it kept getting worse, and —”
“Сестра,” she leans over, cupping your damp face between her hands and forcing you to look at her, “I would always believe you. Always. Never before have you given reason to not.”
You nod tearfully, and she lets go. The only noise is the running water for a few moments.
“That is probably long enough under tap,” Lena murmurs, turning it off and taking your injured hand in her lap. Opening the first aid kit, she begins to dress the burn. “I am sorry for making you jump.”
“I am sorry for everything else,” you reply honestly. “I was stupid.”
“Yes,” she agrees bluntly. Then, “Natalia was stupider.” When you look up in open surprise, she rolls her eyes. “Close your mouth, you will catch flies. Of course she was stupid, she has fumbled so hard. You,” she pinches your cheek affectionately, “are a catch. I am not even into all of this, but if I was a dater we would be together and I would treat you like four million times better than she does.”
“You already do,” you say quietly, looking down at your hand in her lap as she continues to bandage it.
“Oh absolutely, I am the best.”
Another, much longer, pause. She finishes wrapping your hand, and pats it three times to notify you that she’s done, the exact same way that Mama Melina does. The action makes your heart swell and eyes fill with unexpected tears.
“Do you know why I was so upset by all of it?” she asks unexpectedly. You blink in surprise. This feels like a trick question.
“Because… I lied?”
“Because you picked Natasha over me,” she tells you.
“No I didn’t— what?”
“Yes, you did,” she says, and she’s a little choked all of a sudden. “All of my life Natasha has been the one who everyone looks at first. She is the special one. You are the only one I had first, who was mine. My близнец. And then I find out that for months you have been lying and picking her over me instead. When she is mean, she is so mean sometimes, yes I love her but she is not much like when we were kids anymore, she is so mean. But everyone likes her more than me. Even you.” She turns away.
“No, no I don’t,” you rush to her side, unable to help it now, scooping her close to you. “No I don’t. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. It was stupid to think she’d ever love me, I shouldn’t have— and I shouldn’t have left you out of it. I think I was trying to protect you? I don’t know. You’re always the one to protect me and punch everyone else, I think I was trying to stop you from getting hurt. And her? But it was dumb. Very dumb.”
“Very, very dumb,” Yelena agrees.
“The dumbest.”
“You have broken world record, кролик.”
You laugh a little tearfully, and while Yelena’s arms are wrapped around you she feels it throughout her body. She revels in the feeling of you holding her and loving her again, after the longest time.
“So we are back from the store?” she asks hopefully after a moment. It takes you a moment to process what she means.
“Oh,” you laugh, “we were never there. You will always be my favourite person, Yelena Belova-Shostakov.”
“Okay.” She exhales in relief. “Good. Just, because — well, you know, we have not spoke in so long and you didn’t think you had a best friend, and—”
“No— what? No,” you frown, “that was me giving you space to process and heal. I wasn’t sure you’d want me back,” you laugh. “I wasn’t ignoring you. I promise.”
“I will always want you back,” she says in a small, content voice. “I will always want you home. With me. Not at store.”
“Not at the store,” you repeat.
And just like that, you have your best friend again.
One familial bond repaired doesn’t mean all of them, though — and Yelena’s relationship with her sister has been patchy recently, to put it mildly. In your eyes it’s a plus that they haven’t outright fistfought in the way that they absolutely would if they were any younger, but Mama Melina doesn’t seem to see things that way.
A few days after you and Yelena make up, the two of you along with your parents are sat around the dinner table. At the very least Melina is able to fuss over her twins again, and Alexi is able to once again boom “here comes trouble” whenever the two of you enter a room together. They both take great pleasure in it,  much to Yelena’s entertainment and your endearment. You love your parents.
The conversation halts when the front door slams, though. Natasha appears in the kitchen doorway for a second before processing the scene in front of her and slowly backing away, back out of sight.
“What is this about?” Alexi calls after her through a mouthful of food. “Come eat, love.”
There is no response, only footsteps on the stairs.
“Our daughters hate each other,” Melina sighs heavily. When you and Yelena look up at her, she clarifies, “no, not you two. You and Natasha.” She pinches Lena’s cheek.
“We do not hate each other,” Yelena says placidly, much to everyone’s surprise. “I am just angry at her. We will be fine.”
Natasha, who is still within earshot at the top of the stairs, feels her heart skip a beat at this and thinks to herself that just maybe Yelena is ready to be receptive to her attempts at reconnection. Her only issue is she has no idea how to facilitate it. She’s done all the things she can think of, aside from straight up cornering her younger sister — she leaves offerings of food at her door and texts  her when the Kardashians are on the TV — but all of it has been treated with nonchalance that’s left her bewildered as to what her next step should be.
Yelena’s got her covered, though.
It’s her turn to strike, she knows, and again she chooses to do it when her sister will least expect it. Nat traipses home late one night, exhausted from cheer practice that overran. (Their next game is the last of the season, and her last cheer match ever considering she’s graduating this summer, so this semester’s team captain Sharon is determined they go out with a bang — even if that bang is a cheerleader toppling from the pyramid out of sheer exhaustion.) She mumbles her greetings and goodnights to Melina and Alexi, who are huddled around a decanter of whiskey in the study with Liho, and stumbles upstairs. All the lights are off up here, and she figures you and Yelena are probably settling down for the night. With a long, wistful look up the spiral staircase towards your firmly closed door, she trudges into her own (pitch-black) room. When she flicks on the light, though, she shrieks in horror. Sat expectantly at the foot of her bed is a long-limbed and blonde-headed figure, with hands folded neatly in its lap.
“Good evening, сестра,” greets the figure, sometimes known as Yelena Belova, with vaguely ominous nonchalance.
Natasha leans back against the door and closes her eyes in a desperate attempt to revert her heart rate to normal. Her first instinct as an older sister is to yell at her to get the fuck out, but in light of recent events this probably wouldn’t be the wisest of choices. Instead, she clamps her mouth tightly shut as she attempts to regain herself.
“I don’t,” she pants after a moment, “I haven’t— what? Hi. What?”
“You should really get a better lock,” Yelena says amusedly. “Very easy to pick.”
“You don’t have to break in,” Natasha grumbles, letting her bag slide to the floor and flopping backwards onto the bed. “Just knock.”
“No fun.” Yelena pokes Nat’s thigh with her toe just like she would when they were kids and for a moment they’re both young again. But she blinks, and the moment is gone, and now they’re two almost-adults with an entire universe between them.
Natasha just groans and flops back to stare up at her ceiling. A few years back you and Yelena helped her paint it blue and now it looks like the sky. It makes her smile when she’s sad sometimes. Yelena joins her, and the two cloudgaze for a moment.
“Why are you in my room?” Natasha asks quietly.
“To annoy you,” Lena quips.
“Success.”
“And to talk,” she continues.
“Also success. We are talking.”
The blonde lunges for her, and Natasha rolls away playfully. “No, I’m serious. Real talking.”
“Alright, I’m all ears.” Nat puts her hands behind her ears and pushes them forward to emphasise her point — again, like they would when they were kids.
“I want to know what you were intending when you started dating Y/N,” Yelena says, and Nat’s stomach drops. She knew this was coming, she knew this was where the conversation would lead, but she was still hoping to stall it for as long as possible just for the joy that her sister is talking to her again. The excitement is short-lived, though.
“We were never dating,” she reminds her quietly.
“Why not?”
The bluntness of the question makes Natasha stop short.
“Because it just, didn’t work out like that, I guess,” she tries. Yelena remains eerily stony.
“It’s not nice to lie to your baby sister, Natalia.”
Natasha deflates. “Because w— because I’m a fucking idiot. I don’t know what you want me to say. I know I messed up.”
“Step one is awareness,” Yelena nods sagely, while Nat grits her teeth. “So what are you going to do about it?”
She shrugs. “Graduate, and leave town, I guess. You and Y/N are twins again now, and I caused all these problems, so once I leave things should be fixed.”
“Untrue and false,” the blonde interrupts sharply. “That is lie. Y/N/N is crushed. This will not magically be fix if you take off for college.”
“But it will help,” Natasha insists.
“No it won’t,” Yelena pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration, “oh my god, how are you so stupid. She is in love with you, and she is so patient with you, she is not even angry. Which I would be, by the way, but she’s not. She’s only sure you don’t want her.”
“Huh? But I do.”
“No, like wanting her,” Yelena says gently. “As a whole. Like… unity, ah? Влюбленный. She feels so not good enough for you, and every day you are prove her right. You take only what you want from her and leave the rest. That is not what love is. She feels not loved by you, and that you only like her for the things she can offer you.”
“Oh. But I didn’t mean to,” Natasha says tearfully. Suddenly she is very small, and she draws her knees up to her chest. “I was only… Lena, маленький, I didn’t know what to do.”
“The answer seems pretty simple,” the blonde observes astutely, “all you had to do was either tell her you love her and want to be with her, or tell her it is over. You can’t keep having things in your way forever. She has feelings too, and the relationship cannot be on just your terms. She is not a doll, or toy.”
“I do,” she says hoarsely. “I do, t- the first one. It’s- I do. But I’m so…” She raises a pale trembling palm to run a hand through her hair, inhaling shakily, and with a blink of surprise Yelena realised how scared her older sister truly is.
“What is so terrifying?” she asks tenderly.
“Y/N is a girl.”
Yelena almost laughs at the confession but is able to refrain, and is proud of her capability to do so upon seeing just how agitated her company is over the subject. “Is this all that holds you back? Nobody would care. Ma and Daddy wouldn’t. This is not end of the world.”
“No, you don’t get it,” says Natasha fiercely. “Ever since I came to America... you were here first, you and Y/N, and you just get to be you. You have who you are. But I don’t know who I am, so I have to — do all the American girl things. I have to fit in. I don’t have a Y/N. And American girls don’t kiss girls.”
Yelena stops to consider this. It’s true that Natasha has always put far, far more effort into fitting in and Westernising herself more than she or their parents ever did. Yelena is perfectly content with her slightly broken English and her raspy accent and her life of in-betweenness. She’s okay with being from two places. To her, when she looks in the mirror, that is Yelena Belova. They’re just parts of who she is. She’s never even stopped to consider those as potential insecurities — not when she had other things and feelings (or lack thereof) to worry about. How could something so unchangeable be a source of doubt? And yet here she now sits, struggling to wrap her head around this invisible binary which has suffocated her sister for so many years.
“But you are not… what?” she says confusedly. “You did have a Y/N. All of this… you’re being someone else. I knew something felt strange. I do not understand why? I like who you are before. It wasn’t bad. I like Natalia.”
This seems to break Nat, who buries her face in her hands. Yelena lets out a motherly cluck of sympathy and scoots closer to loop a gangly arm around her sister.
“I just want to be normal,” breathes Natasha.
“But it is not worth all this,” Yelena says, squeezing her sister tightly to her chest. “What does normal even mean? Being cool is not the most important, Natalia. Everybody liking you doesn’t… fix you not liking yourself.” She cringes at her own words, reminding herself a little too much of Darcy’s Pinterest feed, but the words seem to ring true with Nat, at least.
“I am just so scared,” Nat says in a small voice. “And I think I’ve made this so bad it can’t be fixed.”
Yelena pulls away to look her sternly in the eyes. “Things can always be fixed. Maybe not in ideal way you want them to be, but we can always make amends. But you have to be sorry.”
“I am,” Natasha cries, “I am sorry.”
Yelena holds her. “I know.”
She’s not so sure you know it, though.
Maybe somewhere deep down, you do. You see it in the saddened smiles Nat offers you whenever she steps out of your way or leaves a room so you can use it. You see it in the way she brings your favourite snacks home and leaves them in the pantry without word or question, like she doesn’t even expect you to notice. You see it even in the absence of her; in the way that she gives you space, quietly leaving rooms when you enter them so you can use them despite the fact that you can feel in the air how much she wants to stop and talk to you. Sure, you can tell that she’s sorry. But you’re not sure that she knows what she’s sorry for.
You’re not sure she knows how badly she’s really hurt you, with her every move stabbing into you repeatedly over a course of months. Now that the knife is turned on her and she’s the one in exile, a selfish part of you wants to leave her there, just so she knows what it’s like. You guess that’s kind of what you’re doing now. You know this can’t go on forever though. In a couple of months Natasha leaves for out-of-state college, which she announced over dinner a few nights ago. You had to excuse yourself from the table to process that information. Your time is limited, you know, and it’s clear what Natasha wants (to kiss and make up) — but what do you want? To leave this wound untreated, festering for the next eternity? Or to allow yourself peace and let this go?
“Why do I have to be the bigger person?” you half-heartedly complain to Yelena one night as the two of you wash the dishes. “It’s not fair.”
“Because you are the bigger person,” Yelena laughs. “Natalia has given you the control. The next move is on you. That’s just the way it is, if it’s fair or no.” She whips you playfully with her tea towel, and the conversation moves on without further incident.
The issue plays on your mind long after the words are spoken, though. Whether you like it or not, Yelena is right. The next move’s on you. But how are you meant to make that call? What is the right move to make?
Well, one of Natasha’s friends appears very opinionated on the subject. 
On a particularly warm afternoon, you and Yelena stroll into town, and stop off at May Parker’s ice cream parlour — the best in town.
“Ah,” Yelena grimaces, as you draw close to its glass windows, “it is so busy in there. I go in, you wait out here?” 
You smile at her gratefully, and she disappears inside. 
“Y/L/N!” a voice calls out behind you, and you turn around to see Bucky Barnes making a beeline for you. He’s about twice your size in every way imaginable, and you gulp. 
“Hi?” you say uncertainly. You don’t think you’ve ever spoken to him in your life.
“What’s up with you and Romanov?” Well, he’s straight to the point. 
You flounder, mouth opening and shutting, and he’s gracious enough to continue, “look, I know you and her are a thing. Were. I don’t know, she’s being so weird about it. It’s okay, it’s okay, I was her beard. And she was mine,” he adds, gesturing over at Steve Rogers, who’s stood on the other side of the road waiting patiently for his boyfriend. He smiles and waves amiably on cue. 
You blink. “And no one thought to inform me?” 
He shrugs. “Not my place. I think it is my place, though, to ask what’s got her so torn up. You and her fallen out? I’ve never seen her like this. I’on know what to do.”
He may not mean it menacingly, but he’s towering over you and you’re finding it hard to breathe. “She was an asshole, dude,” you say, perhaps a little more defensively than you envisioned. “She wasn’t nice to me and we weren’t even together, because she didn’t see me like that. So yeah, I guess we fell out.”
He frowns, deeply, and takes a moment to process this. “Oh. That… but she does feel that way about you.”
“It’d be nice if she’d show it,” you say bitterly. 
His face softens. “Maybe… Look, even if the two of you don’t work it out proper, wouldn’t it be easier to at least clear the air? She likes you so much. She just wants you in her life, I think.”
You look at him uncertainly for a moment, but he holds your gaze earnestly. You know him and Natasha are relatively close, and you don’t see why he’d lie about something like this. It’s definitely tempting to believe.
“Okay,” you say, “I’ll bear that in mind.”
He looks like he’s about to say something else, but you feel a hand on your shoulder and instantly recognise Yelena’s presence just behind you. “What is going on?”
“Just talking,” says Bucky smoothly, but it seems apparent that the moment is over. “See you around, kid.” He crosses the road back to Steve.
“Kid,” you mutter, “he’s one grade older than me.” 
“What did he want?” Yelena asks you, and you relay your strange interaction to her. “Oh. Well, he is probably right, but I’m not sure how much it means coming from Natasha’s ex.”
“Were they really together?” you ask, your stomach turning at the thought. Wouldn’t that co-occur with your and her relationship? “He said he was her beard.”
She shrugs. “Not my expertise. Come on, the ice cream will melt.”
You don’t see Bucky Barnes again for the weeks that follow, although you can’t help but wonder what he meant, and what he was trying to achieve. (And a little part inside of you thinks that maybe he could be right.)
“Ma?” says Natasha suddenly. “How did you know you loved Alexi?”
It’s late at night, and the two of them are on the car ride home from Nat’s last cheer game of the season. (At her request it was not a family affair, despite Alexi’s insistence that it was his right to make a fuss of his talented daughter’s performance at her last high school cheer game.) The roads are empty and the towns are sleepy, but Natasha’s question has Melina wide awake.
“Eeh… it was not like a revelation. I did not wake up one day with new clarity. It came to me over time. It took me long time to accept, though. Your father is very patient man.”
“But was there anything specific?” Natasha persists.
Melina purses her lips in thought. “Well, when I met him I was not trusting person. One time when we were in the kind of in between bit right before being proper couple, ah —”
“The talking stage,” Nat supplies helpfully.
“— yes, да. We were in that, nothing proper but something, and he went to touch me and I had a… panic? I shut down. Achh, моя любовь, I was still figuring out who I was and what I did and didn’t like and… still growing up and healing from when I was kid. I was scared.”
Natasha nods solemnly. There are some childhood experiences which, despite unspoken, bind she and her mother at the soul.
“So I freak out, and I expected him to… belittle or leave, or something. But he stays and he is so patient, he apologise for making me jump and fetch me tea, and I thought like wow, he is so gentle. And he is not like the other men I known.”
Again, Natasha nods. Gentle is the perfect descriptor for her father. He’s the most wonderful man she’s ever met.
“So we spent more time together, he was patient with me and always caring. That was the time that I knew I would fall in love with him. But I’m not really know when it happened. Maybe by then it already had, ah? I have only ever had eyes for him. He make me feel… valued, and worthy.”
Natasha just hums in response, for she’s suddenly and embarrassingly on the verge of violent sobbing. She blames Ma and Baba and their beautiful relationship. Nothing else.
“Is this about Y/N?” Melina asks quietly. Natasha opens her mouth to reply and there it is, just as she feared, the waterworks are unleashed. Ma sighs heavily and pulls over.
“Идите сюда,” she says, holding her arms out, and Natasha crawls into them. She rocks her daughter back and forth, exactly how she used to so many years ago when the girl was half this size, while Nat’s face is buried in her mother’s neck. They stay like that for a while, until Natasha’s tears begin to die down.
“Do you want to go and get milkshakes?” Melina breaks the silence. Natasha hums her assent.
The 24-hour diner isn’t far from where they’ve pulled over, and it’s almost empty at this time of night. With no words exchanged Melina orders Natasha’s usual, or what was her usual when she was a kid — a strawberry milkshake and fries. A young Natasha decided strawberry was her favourite as soon as she found out that pink was a girl’s colour. Thinking about that now, especially with the hindsight of her conversation with Yelena, has her stomach turning a little. How long has she been letting her view of the world colour every single choice that she makes? Which parts of her are really her, and which are the ones she’s willed into existence?
It’s a scary line of questioning, and Natasha can feel herself beginning to spiral. No more, she tells herself. Yelena was probably right about needing to get to know herself — and learning her real favourite flavour of milkshake seems a manageable starting point.
“Can I have the caramel one?” she asks Melina gruffly, pointing at the menu. Her mama just nods and alters their order accordingly.
They sit at their usual booth and eat in a comfortable silence, punctuated only by the occasional “pass the ketchup”s. Once they’ve finished, though, and Melina can sense her daughter has calmed enough to leave, she turns and says to her, “Love isn’t easy thing to admit. But it’s… not something to be ashamed of. When it comes, just let it happen. It’s scary, but it does not make you weaker, ah? It will do you no good to push it away.” She hesitates, but then seems satisfied with what she’s said. She turns on her heel and heads back out to the car. Natasha, dumbfounded, follows her.
When they finally make it home, Alexi is snoring away upstairs and you’re on the sofa with Yelena sprawled on top of you, fast asleep. You’re wide awake, though, and look up as the two of them come in.
“Night, ma,” Natasha murmurs to her mother, kissing her cheek before tiptoeing off to bed. Melina hums at the action and pads into the living room toward her twins.
“Hi ma,” you chirp, voice a little husky. “Everything okay?”
Your mama nods, and holds out a brown paper bag. “We stopped at diner. Got your favourite. Some for Lena too.”
Your eyes crinkle up into half-moons as you smile at her in gratitude, and Melina smiles back fondly, her chest filling with warmth. “Thank you.”
She kisses Yelena’s forehead, who does not stir, and then yours, lingering for a moment.
“I love you,” she tells you sincerely, and a fierceness glimmers in her gaze that you’re not quite sure what to do with. “We all do.”
“I love you too,” you tell her honestly. You only hope you’re matching her intensity. She holds your gaze for a moment longer as if searching for something within it,  then nods, seemingly satisfied, and retreats upstairs to join Alexi, leaving you alone with a meal to demolish, a slumbering blonde pinning you to the sofa and many, many thoughts.
A few days after that conversation, you wander into the backyard (Melina’s carefully pruned pride and joy) to pet Liho, who’s basking peacefully in the summer evening sun.
“Careful of the flowerbed,” you warn as he flexes his claws and kicks his legs happily. “Someone will suffer if Ma’s roses are ruined.”
He huffs in what could be agreement, and you toe absently at the sandy dirt you and Yelena used to play in.
A gentle creaking sounds from somewhere nearby. It’s a noise that makes you feel ten years younger, and curiously, you rise to your feet.
At the far end of the backyard, nestled among the pines and pratia, is the swing set Alexi built a little while after Yelena first moved in. It’s a little haggard-looking, as when Natasha came to America Alexi bodged a third swing so all of you could play together, but to his credit it’s still held up all these years. Sure, it doesn’t get so much use anymore, but sometimes when one of you is feeling a little down you’ll revisit the simpler times of your childhood.
This seems to be what you’ve stumbled upon Natasha doing now. She’s sat on the middle swing (which in times gone by was your swing, as the middle spot often was when you were a kid, so both siblings got to be next to you), rocking back and forth gently as she cradles something small in her hands, turning it over. She’s lost in thought. Wondering if you’ve intruded on something private, you begin to slowly pace away. When you catch sight of what it is in her hands, though, your stomach turns; a small and glistening pink rock, rubbed smooth by years of love.
“You kept that?” you ask quietly. Natasha’s head shoots up and she takes note of your appearance in the same way that a deer takes note of rapidly approaching headlights. Her mouth opens as she fumbles for words, but she just settles for nodding vigorously before lowering her gaze to her lap again.
You don’t really know what to think, or do. You hesitate for a moment, and find yourself thinking of Bucky’s advice — wouldn’t it be easier to clear the air? This tension is suffocating. With this on your mind, you seem to surprise Natasha as much as yourself when your feet march you over to the swing on your left, and your knees bend to seat you. Her entire body tenses as yours nears her. You can tell that, since you’ve gone to great lengths to escape her company recently, this is the last thing she expected. (In all honesty you weren’t really expecting this either. What now?)
“You know that I’m in love with you, right?” Natasha says suddenly, and you freeze. Your chest tightens, and it’s like she’s wrapped herself around it, claiming your breath as her own.
“That’s not funny,” you reply in a small voice. “Don’t— don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Play with me like that.”
Her stomach lurches. “I’m being serious.”
You’re quiet for a moment. “Were you and Bucky ever actually together?”
“What?”
“Bucky Barnes. Were you with him when you were with me, too?” 
“N- no,” she says with vehement certainty. “I was — well, I guess it doesn’t really matter now, but when him and Steve were a secret I was his cover story. And I guess he was mine, so that I could… yeah.” She gestures towards you, pressing her lips together. 
“But even after they came out I was still a secret.”
“I—” Natasha says, and buries her face in her hands for a moment, because this is not how she hoped this would go. “Yes. And that was wrong of me. I’m sorry. I think I was trying to protect you, and me, and you from me because I know how messy I can be, and I wanted you so bad but I didn’t want to drag you down with me. And I still did anyway.” She sighs heavily.
“That’s an interesting way of showing affection,” you quip. 
“I know,” she says quietly. “And I’m sorry. I know I haven’t shown it well — at all — and I don’t really blame you for not believing me. Or, uh, hating me.”
“I don’t hate you,” you say softly.
Her shoulders sag. “Oh. W— well that’s good, then.”
“But I wish I did,” you add.
“No, yeah. That’s fair.”
“You’re really mean.”
Natasha just nods.
“And it’s even worse because I can’t even hate you because you can also be really nice.”
She nods again uncertainly. She’s not really sure how to respond to that.
“Why?”
“What?”
“Why are you so mean sometimes?”
This makes her stop up short. The way that both you and Yelena never fail to cut to the chase or ask the questions that nobody else would will always catch her off guard. “It’s kind of just who I am,” she begins, but at the way your face scrunches she adds, “or who I’ve decided to be, anyway. I don’t really know. I’m not sure… who I am.” Even uttering the statement aloud is a weight lifted from her shoulders. “It’s scary. I guess I… I thought that, like, I have to be the mean one, or someone else will first. To me. You know?”
“Why would anyone be mean to you?”
“Because I like girls,” she says truthfully, and there’s a tremor to her voice.. “And I’m not from here.”
You stare at her. “…? I like girls, and Yelena isn’t from here. No one is mean to us for it.”
“Because Yelena can and will beat the shit out of anyone that tries something,” Nat snorts. “But I just… I don’t know. It’s different for me.” You nod encouragingly and she adds with reluctance, “I don’t— belong here, not really. Or anywhere. I’m too American to be Russian and too Russian to be American. Ma and Baba and Yelena have it figured out, they’re just both and themselves and they don’t even have to think about it. But that’s not so easy for me.”
“Maybe,” you say carefully, “it’s to do with the people you choose to surround yourselves with. Is it possible that you’re… spending time with the wrong people? If you’re made to feel as though these things make you lesser.”
She shrugs. “Probably. But that doesn’t change the fact that I just… I really don’t have a lot going for me. So I kinda pretend that I do, and then it gets out of hand and I’ve convinced myself that I’m a lot more interesting than I am, to the point that I don’t know who me is. And I get all freaked out. And I’m so scared I kind of just shut off and try not to think, so I guess I’m just an asshole instead. Like it’s a reflex, you know? But it’s not really me. Nothing is me. My entire life is one perpetual identity crisis.” She drops her gaze to toe at the ground.
Your swing comes to a still as you clasp one of her hands between both of yours. They’re warm and perfectly manicured, and her eyes light up at the contact. “You don’t have to know who you are. You just have to exist, and you find out. I’m learning things about myself all the time, and so is Lena. This was my first relationship —” Nat’s stomach drops at the use of the word was “— and I’ve learnt a lot about myself and how I like to be treated. And Lena only came to terms with being aroace this year. Even Ma only just decided she’s demi,” you point out, and Nat can’t help but smile at this. (A little while ago, after Yelena first came out, you and Melina began joining her in attending weekly meetings at the local youth centre for young queer people and their parents. Your mama was determined to be a more educated advocate for her three queer daughters. Very recently, with all this new terminology at her disposal, she dropped into a dinnertime conversation in the presence of the whole family that she thinks she’s demi. “Not that it matters,” she added, “the only one for me is your father,” and she kissed his beaming crinkly cheek with a motherly tenderness. It was a beautiful moment to witness, despite Yelena’s playful booing.)
“I guess,” she says quietly. “Um, I’ve been talking to someone. Professional,” she adds at the look on your face. “Yelena said some stuff that made me realise I probably shouldn’t sort through this alone.”
“Yes, you shouldn’t,” you nod. Natasha raises an eyebrow at your ready agreement. “It’s not something to be ashamed of. Lena sees someone. I do too.”
She blinks. “Really?”
“Yes,” you laugh, “Baba takes me every other Thursday. I have horrible abandonment issues. I guess after everything that’s happened, I’ve kinda internalised some stuff.”
“I definitely took advantage of that,” Nat says guiltily. “I’m sorry. Honestly, I am.”
You look at her. “I know.” Your hand squeezes hers before letting go and she instantly aches to feel it again. “I’m sorry, too. For not… I don’t know, setting more boundaries. Or being more forceful.”
“No, no, it wasn’t your fault.”
You hum, and the two of you sit in silence for a long while as the sun begins to retire.
“You know,” you say suddenly, “you don’t have to move across the country. You can if you want, obviously, it’s your call, but if it’s just because of me… you don’t have to.”
“But-? I’m trying to give you space? To heal,” she says confusedly, and you laugh.
“And it’s very sweet, but I don’t need that much space. I’ve already forgiven you.”
Natasha’s soul leaves her body. “You— huh?”
“I have,” you laugh kindly. “I did some of my own thinking, and I just… I don’t know. I don’t think you need me being mad at you, on top of everything else going on in here.” You tap at her temple gently to emphasise your point, and she shivers. “And I don’t think I need that either. I don’t want to carry that with me.”
“Okay,” Natasha breathes. “T— thank you.”
You wrinkle your nose at her affectionately. “You’re silly.”
She’s awash with the overwhelming need to kiss you, and instead twitches a little, digging her nails into her palm. You take in the movement with such wide-eyed concern that she has to close her eyes for a moment, because she’s almost ill with how much she feels for you. This feeling only grows more intense as you continue.
“I know we’re… whatever we are, but… if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know,” you say more quietly. “I know you’ve been through some stuff, and even when you’re seeing someone for it it can get overwhelming. I do care about you.”
She nods, and swallows thickly. “ I don’t— I— uhm. What does this make us?”
You can hear her hopes heavy on her tongue, and your heart is like lead. “Friends?” you offer. “I— I don’t think we should be anything else, right now.”
Natasha nods, and swallows thickly. With it she swallows back the words but I love you. It must be written across her face, though, because you cup it between your hands (which really isn’t helping her self-restraint at all).
“I love you,” you tell her honestly. “And I always have. But love isn’t… you don’t… I don’t know. That kind of love is something that you earn, I think. And we both need to take care of ourselves.”
“I understand.” Natasha’s voice is hoarse, and barely above a whisper. “And I want you to feel like I respect your decision. But I also want you to feel like I’m serious. About you. And I will prove it if I have to.”
Against your own better judgement, you smile at her.
One thing about Natasha Romanoff is that she’s not a quitter.
Some would say it’s an endearing quality. More would probably tell her it’s the reason she finds herself in so many messes in the first place. What’s objectively certain is that she’s a stubborn little shit — and and with this determination she’s decided she’s going to win you back. Your slight encouragement, no matter how vague, is enough fuel for a fire that could simmer for months.
It starts as chocolates, and flowers. At this point she seems to have cottoned onto the fact that you’re not one for big, theatrical confessions of love, but rather consistent affirmations of it. Actions, not words, she’s heard you say (although now more than ever before she’s seeing for herself what you mean). So there’s no four-act sonnet recitals when you receive her gifts — although you don’t really receive them at all, in the traditional sense. Rather they seem to begin popping up everywhere you go. At one point you open your locker to a bouquet so over-endowed that flowers begin to tumble out onto the floor. Sam steps neatly to the side and watches with glee as you scramble to clean the mess. (He’s most definitely enjoying watching all of this play out.)
Your favourite of all these surprise gifts is probably one delivered by your own four-legged Cupid himself. Liho headbutts the door to your room open and stalks in with a scowl on his face and something attached to his collar. As soon as you remove it to inspect it he rolls onto his back and looks up at you expectantly, clearly expecting compensation for this favour.
“Yes, you’re a very handsome boy,” you tell him distractedly, using one hand to rub his belly while you attempt to unfurl the note he’s delivered with the other. Yelena lets out a noise of amusement. She’s perched on your bed with the Kardashians paused on her laptop in favour of watching this play out instead.
“You are so ungraceful,” she comments mildly, making no move to help you.
“I love how you always see the best in me,” you reply through gritted teeth.
After a moment, you manage to succeed in your task. I picked these for you :), the letter reads. You glance over at Liho’s collar again to see a tiny bunch of forget-me-nots, only slightly battered from their journey and bound neatly by brown twine.
“Another gift from the mystery girl?” Yelena teases, and you groan.
“Okay, saying mystery girl is officially banned. It’s giving me war flashbacks.”
“And that is fair,” your sister muses, getting to her feet to inspect your latest delivery. After she’s done she sits back on her heels. “You don’t have to keep turning her down, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if it’s just because of me. You have my… blessing, or whatever. But on the condition that you’re not gross about it.” She rolls her eyes, and nudges your cheek with her nose. You squirm good-naturedly.
“Why thank you, your Grace.”
“Yes, I’m the graceful one,” she preens.
“Sure,” you snort, and she smirks. “Um, thank you, though. That’s good to know. I guess I’m still… figuring it out, but she’s growing on me again.” And it’s true. You have your reservations now, but she’s trying to remind you why you first fell for her (and yeah, she might be succeeding). Part of you wonders if she’s turning on the superficiality again, but after she spilled her guts to you on the swing set you’re trying to have faith that she really is turning a new leaf, and charming you authentically.
Yelena considers this. “Yes, okay. This makes sense. Remember to tell me if she tries anything again though. I will put them up.” She raises her fists and you giggle, but you know she’s at least partially serious. She’s very athletic in her own right and people at school go out of their way to avoid crossing her. That’s how you’ve stayed out of trouble your whole life — by standing behind Yelena and letting her handle it instead. Where you hesitate, she dives right in. You adore that about her, though.
“Do you know what you’ll do once she’s out of state?” Lena asks, and you shrug.
“Figure it out as we go, I guess. I don’t know if she’ll lose interest in me.”
The blonde looks up fiercely. “If she does that I will stick them up.”
You beam at her, admittedly less for the violence and more for the sentiment behind it. She beams back for reasons more ambiguous.
“Do you know what we will do?” Yelena queries. Upon your frown she elaborates, “next year when it is our turn to pick college. You and me, what will we do?”
“Pick the same one, and both get in because we’re super smart, and we’ll be roommates. And you can make us mac and cheese every night,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
She contemplates this.
“Okay,” she says, seemingly satisfied with your answer. “Can we hit play now? I want to know what’s happen to Kim’s diamond earring.”
“Two cookies say she gets it back.”
“Two cookies say eat my ass the way a fish ate her earring,” she retorts, and the two of you settle on the bed again. (You have two more cookies than usual after dinner.)
Despite the witticism you take Yelena’s blessing with pride, and it means a lot more to you than you let on. Now that every single member of your family has shown their support for your relationship you can’t help but feel a slight ray of hope, the likes of which you thought had been stomped out long ago. Never before have you dared to imagine a situation where you could actually have a shot with the girl of your dreams, who you’ve wanted for as long as you can remember — and yet here you are, with her putting her back out working overtime to win you over, and your family watching with interest. Every morning you wake up a little warmer to the idea of letting this happen.
That doesn’t mean Natasha’s out of the woods yet, though, and you’re careful to make this clear to her. She senses your hesitance, and completely understands its presence. She’ll wait for you as long as it takes. (She’s genuinely stunned at how forgiving you have been of her, in all honesty.) In fact she takes your reluctances in her stride in a way that actually has you feeling more for her — but again, you know better than to repeat your mistakes of the past, and so you take this as slowly as you can considering she’s coming on strong and you live under the same roof.
Three months of summer lie ahead of you, stretching out like an endless expanse of sunset-tinted possibility. You and Yelena manage to land jobs at the video store in town — Yelena goes blazing into the interview and makes it clear as she can that the two of you are a package deal. Wong, the guy who runs the place, just seems grateful for the help.
The store becomes somewhat of a hangout spot for the two of you, who work the same hours and are joined at the hip like always, and it’s a safe bet to stop by if anyone wants to find you. Sam often swings by to playfully irritate the both of you, since the marina where his parents’ boat is docked is just round the corner, and Natasha will meet you when you’re closing to take you out for dinner after. (Sometimes Yelena tags along to these meals, and gleefully revels in the awkwardness her presence causes.) Since you and Yelena are twins again too, things are looking up for your friendship group and they’ve taken to visiting also. You’re delighted to spend time with them again. (Seeing Makkari’s face light up when she steps into the Deaf & Subtitled section of the store makes your whole week.)
In fact, word seems to have gotten out about the fact that Wong’s employed you, because one sleepy Tuesday afternoon Bucky Barnes drops by to rent a DVD. He picks one at random, not even glancing at the cover, and as you scan it through for him he says to you lowly, “thank you for making Natasha happy again. She cares so much about you.” He offers you a genuine smile before heading out abruptly and almost forgetting his DVD in the process. (You suspect his purchase was a mere means to talk to you.) It’s a strange interaction, but decidedly more pleasant than your last with him, so you take it no further.
Another perk of having this job is that you have your own money now. You’re not really sure what to do with it at first; the only thing that occurs to you is that you want to get a gift for Natasha. At the end of the summer is her graduation — she’ll walk and wear the square hat and everything, and you’re very excited to embarrass her with photos of the event — and after that she’ll leave for college. Her graduation is the perfect time to present her with said gift, you decide.
You know you want the gift to be meaningful, but you’re not really sure of the specifics. Luckily for you, one night on the roof with Natasha is all you need for the inspiration to strike.
Can’t sleep, you text her one night, after hours of fruitless tossing and turning.
She replies immediately.
Me neither
Come down to my room :)
If you want to!!! she adds after a moment, and you can’t help but smile to yourself. She is adorable.
Omw, you tell her, rolling out of bed.
The door is unlocked!!!!!! just come in
You follow her instructions and slip inside. The room is cosily lit, with her fairy lights on and her little lamp shaped like Calcifer flickering merrily; the bed is unmade, as if someone’s been in it recently, but Natasha herself is nowhere to be seen.
“Nat?” you call out uncertainly, and squeak in surprise when her head pops through the window. She smiles softly at your reaction.
“I’m out here,” she tells you. “C’mon, there’s space for both of us.” She wriggles along her perch on the flat row of tiles of the roof, and pats the empty spot beside her. Antics like this don’t faze you after twelve years of friendship with Yelena. You clamber out beside her readily.
“Hi,” says Natasha a little bashfully, once you’re settled. You lean up to peck her lips and she flushes. “Y— yeah. Um, hi.”
“Hi,” you reply sweetly. “It’s nice out here.”
“It is,” she agrees, her gaze not straying from you. You take no notice, though; your sights are set to the heavens. No matter how much you snipe about how annoying it is to live in a small town, the views still take your breath away. The stars shimmer bright above you, as they do almost every night. They’re not the only beautiful sight your town has to offer; Wanda adores the rocky hills at the edge of town, where many scavengers like squirrels and raccoons have made their home (one boy in your grade, Peter Quill, has befriended one of the raccoons and affectionately named him ‘Rocket’. He visits Rocket every day after lunch with his leftovers from the cafeteria). Occasionally she’s able to convince everyone in your group to accompany her hiking there. Despite your grumbling, it does make for an enjoyable day out.
“I come out here when I can’t sleep,” she tells you quietly.
“I sit on the roof sometimes,” you reply, and you beam at each other. It’s true — you do, but sharing the information feels vulnerable. You’ve figured out how to hoist yourself up through the skylight in the loft and onto the utmost point of the house, but it’s an activity you’ve kept as your own for now. While you adore more than anything being twins with Yelena, and living your life with her, you’re also learning how to exist by yourself for the first time in your life, and enjoying having your own space. Your little corner in the attic has afforded you many freedoms, and not just material ones.
“You see the moon?” Nat asks. The planet in question hangs round and heavy over the horizon, not quite full.
“How could I miss her?” She’s the most beautiful thing in sight.
“You know the difference between waxing and waning?” Natasha prompts, and you shake your head, solely because you love when she talks about her passions. “Waxing is when the moon transitions from a new moon to a full moon — so she fills out. See, that’s what she’s doing now.”
“She’s nearly full,” you remark quietly.
“Yup.” She grins. “Now when she’s waxing, she fills in from the right side — so she kinda looks like a C.” She makes a C shape with her left hand and holds it up against the sky to confirm that, yes, while the moon is waxing it vaguely resembles the letter. “But soon she’ll start to wane — maybe next week? After the full moon. Waning is the transition from the full moon back to the new moon, so she shrinks away into nothing. She’s eaten away from the left side, so she looks like a reverse C.” Nat makes a C shape with her right hand this time, so that it’s reversed, and holds it up to compare to the moon. They don’t match up right now, but they’ll get there someday.
“This is my favourite period though,” she confesses, her voice dropping a little lower, “of the lunar cycle. When the moon is waxing.”
“Why?”
“Because it feels,” she hesitates. “I don’t know. It feels like gross to say out loud but it kinda just feels like, encouraging. Things are always changing. They won’t be like this forever, you know? The cycle keeps on repeating itself.”
“The cycle keeps on repeating itself,” you repeat, and she smiles at you.
“Yeah. You don’t think it’s… dumb? I don’t know, I’ve never brought anyone else up here. I —”
“I don’t think that at all,” you tell her, and she kisses you gently.
The next day you go out and buy a crescent moon necklace.
Natasha has been coming into your room more and more often lately, and you don’t trust yourself to not leave it lying around in plain sight, so one day while she’s out you enlist Alexi’s help to loosen one of the floorboards in the attic so you can stash things under it inconspicuously.
“It’s not for anything suspicious,” you tell him quickly, “you can look under it whenever you want. It’s just to hide gifts and —”
“Relax, sunflower,” he chuckles, “you are entitled to your secrets.”
The necklace stays hidden there until summer draws to a close.
The weeks fly by in a golden haze and before you know it, you’re getting ready for Natasha’s graduation.
Alexi is stood on the landing in his smartest suit, and flexing proudly in the mirror on the wall. “It still fits!” he booms triumphantly.
“Don’t forget to wear your nice shirt, любовь,” Melina calls up the stairs to him. “No one with holes in.” He deflates a little, and retreats back into their bedroom to change.
“He looks fine,” Yelena scolds half-heartedly as she lumbers down the stairs, holding out her wrists to Melina. “Can you do my cufflinks?”
“Where’s your please?” Melina retorts, but she sets her clutch down so she can use both hands to help her daughter.
“We have to leave in ten minutes,” Natasha announces as she bursts from her own room. “Се��ья, I know what you are like, and we cannot be late.”
“Relax, love.” Alexi reemerges from the bedroom in a different shirt this time. “I will go and start the car,” he starts down the stairs, “and— oh.” He pauses as several buttons pop off his shirt simultaneously. “Ебать.” He turns around and subduedly makes his way back up the stairs.
“Baba,” Natasha groans. “This is what I mean.”
“Hey! I am nearly ready,” says Yelena indignantly, nodding at her mother in thanks for doing her cufflinks before ducking in front of the mirror. “Oh shit, where is my tie?”
“Language,” reprimands Melina.
“See?” Natasha sighs exasperatedly. “Y/N/N is the only one who’s ready.” She hurries down the stairs to where you’re stood in the hall, watching the scene unfold serenely. You’ve been ready to leave for the last ten minutes. She beams at you and pecks you on the cheek just shy of your lips. You flush, and the crescent moon necklace burns a hole in your pocket. Now isn’t the time, though.
Eventually, you all make it into the car, with everyone now sporting correctly-fitting outfits. As always on car journeys, you’re in the back, sandwiched in the middle between Natasha and Yelena. Lena scrolls through her phone disinterestedly, headphones in, while Natasha vibrates on your other side with anticipation and nerves. You take one of her hands between both of yours and she stills instantly.
“I am very proud of you,” you say quietly, “to have made it this far, with these grades. You’ve gotten into your dream college. You can do anything. Today will go fine.”
She doesn’t speak for fear of bawling and potentially ruining her eyeliner, so instead she rests her head on your shoulder in silent gratitude. She doesn’t move until you arrive, at which point she shows you all to your seats (front row, you note) and disappears to the backstage meeting point for all of the graduates.
The actual ceremony doesn’t begin for a while, so Melina converses with the other parents seated around her while Alexi nods politely, and you and Yelena compete in a thumb war. Eventually Principal Rambeau steps onto the stage and a silence settles on the gathered audience.
“Thank you all for attending,” she begins. “We’re here to celebrate our wonderful seniors, who have put in so much work to make it here today, and walk this stage.” She continues like that for a short while before they begin to call the students’ names, and they each walk across the stage in turn to claim their diploma. Natasha is a little later on the register, so you just sit back and enjoy the show — you’ve lived in this small town all your life, where most people know of each other, and so you recognise or even know the vast majority of the people who make their way across the stage. Some of them choose to make a memorable exit from their high school career (like Happy Hogan who chooses to breakdance his way across the stage, or Ned Leeds who walks proudly in a hot dog suit), whereas others take the more graceful route (see Valkyrie King, a prominent athlete of the school, who walks with confidence and regally basks in everyone’s recognition of her). When Natasha Romanova-Shostakov is called, she walks the stage a little bashfully, and with a blush accepts the cheers showered upon her after several years of being the cheer team’s star. You clap and shout louder than anyone else, and to Yelena’s glee capture several shots of her in her square graduate cap. Front row seat privilege. 
After the presentations, the students flood into the crowd and people break off into little groups. The air hums with the joy of people laughing and congratulating and embracing one another. Natasha makes her way over to you and Yelena, who are stood now with your parents beside the refreshments. She brightens when she spots you, and is instantly by your side, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“There is my girl!” Melina cheers. An outbreak of hugging ensues.
You mingle politely for a while with the other families milling around your own. Natasha appears intermittently, being the centre of attention today. Yelena is by your side (with her arm annoyingly resting on your shoulder to remind you that she’s taller) until one of her hockey friends pilfers her to show her something. In the few moments that you’re unaccompanied, Natasha resurfaces from the crowd, takes your arm and leads you somewhere a little quieter, and a little less visible to the masses.
“I just, um,” she realises she’s still holding your arm and lets go of it with a blush, “I wanted to thank you for being here. Like actually. It means a lot to me. I know— I know that in a couple of weeks I won’t be here properly, and it might make things weird, but —”
Now is the perfect time, you decide. As she continues to nervously ramble you pull the crescent moon necklace in its little velvet box from your pocket, and present it to her. She falls silent and looks at you.
“It’s for you,” you say unnecessarily, opening it to show her the treasure inside. Her eyes widen. “I— I want to do this with you. I want to give us a try. I like being with you.”
And as you clasp the delicate chain around her neck, and lean up to press a chaste kiss to her lips, Natasha understands. Love is something you earn.
She entwines your hand with hers, and together the two of you make your way back towards your family.
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milunalupin · 2 months
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— tale as old as time
a/n: welcome to my beast!remus x beauty!reader series ! i hope you come along this journey with me and enjoy!
chapter one
remus lupin x reader ★ 1.4k words
Gowns and music filled the ballroom, the castle's servants walking around with silver trays of the most luxurious desserts in France. Beautiful and wealthy people danced around to the sound of the piano and the most famous opera singer money could buy in all of Europe.   
The ballroom was decked out in glimmering jewels and fresh flora, the smell of roses strong in the air.  In the middle was Prince Remus Lupin, twirling countless girls about, a smirk on his handsome powdered face.  The Lupins ruled the Alsace region, their wealth apparent by their acres of meticulously landscaped property, the glimmer of the sun on the enormous castle blinding. Remus was an only child who was raised by King Lyall and Queen Hope, until the queen passed away from an illness many years ago, leading the Prince to grow up with the influence of his cold and selfish father.
Staff members were forced to turn a blind eye when they would see the young master walk through the castle with watery eyes or badly hidden bruises. No matter how much they pitied him, his father would rid them of their job in a heartbeat if they dared speak up about it. With every passing year, Prince Remus grew to be increasingly more his father, prioritizing status over everything.  Remus' life was filled with anything he wanted, and obviously once you have everything, things get boring. So, he constantly hosted balls and invited only the most beautiful and influential people in France. Men and women came from all over the country dressed in the most lavish of outfits, trying to gain the attention of the young Prince. 
In a silky yellow tailcoat stood the royal family's head of kitchen staff, Sirius Black. He let out an exaggerated sigh as he stood along his colleagues, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.  "How many girls will leave crying tonight, do you think?" 
James, dressed in all white with embroidered lapels, rolled his eyes and frowned as he watched the Prince.  "He'll never get married if he keeps acting like this, never form a true bond with anyone." 
A huff came from Peter, who looked the worst out of the three of them (according to Sirius), in a simple brown waistcoat. He held his prized pocket watch in his hand, constantly checking the time to ensure the party was running smoothly.  "The prince's love life isn't really any of our business, Sirius." 
Peter Pettigrew, to say the least, was a suck up, and nothing but loyal to the royal family. It was in his blood; his family having served the royal family for decades. Naturally, he started working under his father in the administrative department and moving ranks until he was appointed head of house, managing the rest of the staff as His Highness' right-hand man. 
James Potter credits everything he has now to his beautiful mother, Euphemia, who was an incredible seamstress who worked in the castle years prior. Now, James assists the young master with his clothing as well as leads the housekeeping staff with his mini assistant Harry, who's favorite thing to do is fold the towels into swans. 
Sirius met James when they worked together at a pub in town before James accepted his position among the royal staff. He was an orphan who had run away from his abusive foster parents. Euphemia felt for the boy and had immediately taken them in like her own son. Cooking meals with his new family ignited his love for food and with help from the Potters, had gone to culinary school. Later, with James's help, began as a waiter at the castle turned kitchen manager. 
Prince Remus, to be frank, doesn't love, not really once his mother had passed. Once under the orders of his father, his image, and the people he surrounded himself with became a priority. Being human was being vulnerable, and being vulnerable was being weak. That's why he found himself surrounded by attractive women, knowing that each one hanging onto his arm believed that they would be the one he fell in love with, inheriting his fortune and power. His arm was around one of the maidens' waists, loosely spinning her as his eyes scanned the room for someone more interesting. 
"My lord, I can't help but believe you might have an interest in me. this is the second time we've danced tonight; you need not be so shy." 
His eyes dropped back to Amelie? Emily? who blushed under his gaze, looking up at him through her fluttering eyelashes. He scoffed and retracted his hand from her waist, pushing past her towards another, ignoring her pleas and attempts to grab his arm. As much fun as he had being the center of attention and being the one everyone wanted to be with, he despised the desperate ones, none of them being worth his actual time. 
-
"Papa, I brought the napkins you asked for!" 
Sirius, James, and Peter turned to find Harry, James's son, holding a stack of cloth napkins up to him with a bright smile, his glasses sliding down his nose. James grinned as he took the napkins from Harry, pushing his glasses back up his nose and fixing his hair. 
"Great job Harry, now run along." 
"You've got him working already Potter? A chip off the old block, that one is." Peter chuckled, smiling along his colleagues as they watched little Harry skip away. 
The doors suddenly burst open, a woman in a cloak falling to the ground, her hood slipping and exposing her ratty grey hair. The maidens closest to the door gasped and squealed as they backed up, trying to distance themselves from the old woman. The music has stopped, Prince Remus weaving his way through the crowd to stand before the elderly intruder. 
"Who let you in, peasant? This ball is invite only." 
The woman looked up, her cloudy grey eyes looking into the Prince's. She held up a single rose, offering him the flower for temporary shelter from the cold. Prince Remus scoffed, rolling his eyes at the woman. The party goers laughed at the old woman from the other side of the ballroom. 
A smirk appeared on the old woman's face, as her body under the cloak began to glow a warm yellow, what seemed liked enchanted haze spreading towards the aghast party goers. Flower petals began to float around the woman as she transformed into a younger, more beautiful version of herself, her now bright blue eyes staring into the Prince's. The guests screamed at they scrambled to escape the sorcery they've witnessed, polished shoes trampling over expensive fabric and rose petals. 
The royal staff looked on in fear, not knowing how to help their master in this situation. James weaved through the people rushing out and found Harry hiding in a corner. He picked him up and turned to head out the door but stopped when he heard a deep growl coming from the center of the room. 
The cloud of magic enveloped Prince Remus, his bones cracking and expanding as his body slowly transformed him into a large, furry monster. His perfect silk robes tearing and falling off the Prince's new body. Large curved horns grew out of his head, and his perfect teeth evolved into sharp fangs. His once perfect appearance turned into one of a menacing animal. 
The young Prince had failed his test from the enchantress. He had not shown kindness to a stranger in need and had confirmed his own selfishness and entitlement. He was mean and ugly on the inside, so she had turned him into who he really was, a beast. Adding on to that, she left a powerful spell on the castle and villagers, turning the royal staff into household objects for allowing the Prince's behavior, and erasing all memory of the royal castle and its inhabitants from the villagers. The curse was infinite, unless the prince managed to make someone fall in love with him. 
Over the years the castle grew colder, lonelier as Remus and his staff became more hopeless for a chance to end the curse. Snow had fallen over the crumbling castle and grounds, the bitterness of the cold outside matching what Remus was feeling in his heart. 
 He was doomed, turned into a disgusting monster for the rest of his days, because who could ever learn to love a beast? 
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gavvaiins · 10 months
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lonely
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summary: having to carry the future of multiple universes on his shoulders miguel simply is tired, tired and lonely.
pairing: miguel o'hara x gn!reader warnings: angst, pinch of fluff, less actions, more vibes; story's gender neutral but i feel it might be too female-coded? idk ; - ; word count: 3.7k
a/n: yeah ... this is longer than it needs to be. Might got confused by grammar later ... idk while writing i fell into a narrating-style crisis? It definetly doesn't help when the book you're reading is written is a different tense.
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Sometimes all Miguel wished for was some time alone. In a building full of arachno-humanoids, constantly surrounded by either living people, holograms or other species there was sometimes not enough room to breathe. So, nothing reprehensible about wanting some time for himself.
However, Miguel wasn’t longing to be alone.
He didn’t need to.
He already was.
Despite being surrounded by dozens of spider-beings he was alone. He had no friends. Jess was a colleague, Peter Parker was a dear colleague, the best – and what was even Peter B. Parker? Honestly, Miguel didn’t know, but despite all these different Spider-People there was no one waiting for him. Not even in Nueva York, a city with far more citizens than anyone could count.
No one was waiting for him to come home – or to simply arrive, anywhere.
Lyla was nothing but an AI generated hologram, he created.
There was no one waiting for him.
And that was good. No one waiting for him meant safety; for him and for him. Without anyone there waiting for him to return home he could neither hurt nor lose someone. Miguel noticed that it wasn’t loneliness he was longing for, after all he was pretty much alone in his world, carrying the burden all by himself. Having time to breathe, to think that was what he was longing for. A moment without Lyla and the other arachno-humanoids, without having to think about anomalies and the downfall of universes.
All he wanted was peace.
“Miguel?” His body grew tense as your voice emerged from the dark, careful and soft, almost fearful as if you were entering a cave, unsure of what you’d meet in there. There was a chance that you hadn't spotted him yet, sitting on his lowered platform all by himself. Within moments he heard your voice he began holding his breath. If he didn’t make a sound, you wouldn’t catch him, which was a dumb and childish thought considering the lighting of the running monitors, which illuminated his big frame quite perfectly.
What were you even doing here? There was no need for you talking to him.
“Miguel?” You asked. He could sense the hesitation in your voice, it reminded him of the heroes in fairy tales, both brave and stupid enough to enter the dark woods full of beastly and hungry creatures. When Miguel thought about it, his room was a bit like a forest – or more a cave, dark and mysterious. To his surprise the light tremor in your voice didn’t stop you from further exploring the room. If this was truly a fairytale, you’d either be very brave or stupid, or both. Whatever it was Miguel would’ve eaten you alive.
But this wasn’t a fairytale, and he wasn’t the big, bad wolf, ready and hungry enough to devour you. But why didn’t you stop?
Why were you still going?
He was the Spider-Man who hoped not to be found by anyone, especially not you.
With every passing second Miguel’s body grew more, and more tense, his lungs felt strained, knowing very well that with every step you took, you were closer to seeing him. He knew that it would’ve been smarter to swing away, to simply vanish in the dark. But he couldn’t move. Something in him didn’t want to flee, despite his longing for peace and serenity. He was like a spider trapped in its own web, paralyzed by his own poison.
Maybe he longed for you to find him.
“Miguel.” Your voice was nothing but a whisper, not entirely fearful but caring as well. Yet, Miguel kept using the tactics of a child. Stoic and stiff did he keep his posture, eyes on the ground, head buried in his arms; if he couldn’t see you, you couldn’t see him either. Rather he avoided your eyes, your whole presence like the plague.
How did he, Spider-Man 2099, guardian of the arachno-humanoid poly-multiverse and destroyer of a whole universe, look like? A mountain of a man hunched on his sunken platform, hiding his face like a fearful child, who didn’t know where to put its overwhelming feelings. He used to be an authority, always standing high on his platform, towering over and looking down on you. But now it was you who looked down on him, a pile of misery in blue and red barely illuminated by flickering screens.
“Oh, Miguel.” He could sense your presence beside him, he could sense everything of you – your pity and empathy was almost sickening. Your body was awfully close but kept a minimal distance of respect, and to his own surprise Miguel felt his tense muscles relax.
Finally, he found himself able to breathe again.
For a moment you said nothing, no Miguel, no how are you. No words left his lips either. You two sat in silence and Miguel enjoyed it, a little – sitting with you in the dark, just the two of you and he hated to admit it, but he began missing his name rolling off your tongue. His name sounded so soft and caring, like he meant something, like he was someone others cared for.
Someone you cared for.
And something inside of him longed hearing you say his name, again, and again.
To his own surprise he needed it, and he surprised himself by how desperately he needed to hear his name coming from you.
“Miguel?” Ah, there it was. Finally. It was embarrassing admit how Miguel’s heart enjoyed it deeply, hearing his name rolling of your tongue. It felt like warm milk mixed with honey running down his throat, filling his body with warmth and a feeling of serenity, of home. Despite his inner positive response to your presence he didn’t move, nor did he speak. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
Feeling your knee nudge his thigh, his body grew tense again. The touch was subtle, yet it alarmed all his senses, as if your touch could hurt him. Couldn’t you just continue gently serenading his name, like a sweet lullaby he could relax and fall asleep to? Miguel didn’t need to talk with you about his feelings. He didn’t want to.
“Doesn’t – “
“Leave me alone,” he grumbled, words swallowed by the void underneath his arms.
“– look like nothing,” you said. No answer, and for a moment you grew quiet. He had no idea what you were doing but he could hear you shifting in your seat beside him. Were you finally leaving?
No.
He wanted you to leave, didn’t he? Yes … that’s what he wanted.
But you weren’t leaving, he knew it when he felt your gentle touch on his shoulder. His muscles jumped slightly under your touch as if your fingers were ice cold or burning hot. They weren’t. Your touch was light, careful, like a butterfly dancing on his skin. First came your fingers, gracing his scapula as if you were testing the waters, then rested your palm on his shoulder and despite the highly advanced suit he was wearing, it felt like his skin was burning – a malfunction, an electric shock.
His heart jumped.
It was too much.
“I said, leave me alone!” Forceful, almost feral, he slapped your hand away. Risen to his full dominating size Miguel was panting heavily, fangs bared, talons shown and eyes gleaming of anger … and hurt, and loneliness, confusion. He looked like a beast, tall and furious, ready to strike or devour you.
“Miguel.” He tried not to flinch. He hated the sound of your voice; it didn’t feel soothing anymore. Instead, it was laced with fear, but mostly hurt. But what was he expecting? Miguel had scared you; he had hurt you.
Good.
Lyla would scold him for being an ass. He didn’t want to hurt you, but he needed to, and if that’s what’s needed to leave him be, he’d endure it … and he would do it again, if he needed to. Despite his body telling him differently, he neither needed you nor your pity.
His initial thought was that his plan was working. The big, bad Spider-Man was indeed an asshole, who made you cry for no reason. Never would you talk or even look at him again, which he told himself was fine. But you weren’t crying. Sure, you were holding your arm protectively close to your body as if his talons had teared through your suit, making you bleed. But no sign of tears rimming your eyes, plus, you weren’t leaving.
You were still here.
“What the fuck?”
Why wasn’t it working? “I told you to leave me.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you still there?” With satisfaction he watched you thinking of a good response, gears turning in your head, to no avail. Your mouth opened slightly before pressing it shut, eyes lowering to your hands folded in your lap. That was it; without anything to retort you surely would leave him.
Again, the two of you sat in complete silence. One he didn’t enjoy, but need, and surely neither did you. However, he was sure that you’d given up, any second, and leave him alone. “Is that really what you want?”
He looked at you, blinking.
“Is it really what you want?” You repeated, staring into his dark eyes and there is something in yours that scared him. Miguel couldn’t tell what it was, there was no poison in your eyes, no malice, yet he was afraid. “Do you really wish to be alone?”
You scared him, and that’s nothing anyone would ever associate with you. He hated to admit it, but he was, not of your physical strength or arachno-powers. Surely, he could easily knock you out. Rather he was afraid that you’d find something you weren’t supposed to see.
Miguel hesitated. “Yes.”
“I have to.” It just slipped out of his mouth. He hadn’t meant to speak his mind, even if it was just a bit. You weren’t supposed to know. But now you knew something that was meant to stay hidden, that was meant only for himself. A burden he had meant to carry himself. There was no reason to hide, yet there was no reason to face you either, so Miguel did what he could best, being alone. With a heavy sigh he crept back into the shell he so shamefully had lost. This time Miguel didn’t burry himself beneath his arms, instead he stared in the darkness of his office, waiting for you to leave. By that time, he should’ve known that you wouldn’t leave him.
Not like that.
“Oh, Miguel.” Again, his name was nothing but a soft whisper, comforting. There lied some sadness behind his name, yet it was all he had wished for moments ago, before he lashed out at you. “You are not alone. We’re all Spider-Man.”
Some incomprehensible grumble left his lips, how should he explain? It wasn’t your fight, neither was it Peter Parker’s, only his. “It was me.”
“I’ve done this,” he said before you could even think of calling him again.
“I –“ Miguel’s breath hitched and for a second his heart stopped beating, stumbling over its own rhythm as he felt your fingers dancing on his skin again.
How dare you?
He wanted to bare his teeth at you, again, he wanted to scare you, to push you away from him, but he couldn’t. His mind told him to, like he used to do whit so many people before. You knew too much about him. But his heart, his body, craved for the softness of your voice, longed for the warmth of your heart. Carefully your fingers grazed his skin, almost waiting for some sign of permission until they could finally rest on his cheeks. Despite wearing your spider-suit your hand felt surprisingly soft on his skin.
With a sigh he leaned into the comfort of your touch, until he remembered who he was and what he did. His head shot up like your hand was hurting him but before he could utter any more words of misery you placed both of your hands on his cheeks, gently forcing him to look at you.
“You’ve done what? Jumping through the arachno-humanoid poly-multiverse.” Your voice was calm and gentle, as was your smile. He could barely look at you. “That is quite a complicated name, maybe you should think about calling it spider-verse instead.”
Miguel meant to smile at your joke, even if only subtle, a ghost of a smile only you’d be able to detect and in any other situation he would. But he couldn’t. Not now, when he’d say something so gruesome that would paint him in a different light. However, the truth didn’t want to roll over his tongue, revealing who he really was, not when you so gently smiled at him, caressing his skin with your fingers. Heaving a sigh, he let go, and melted into your touch like warm butter. Was it good to let his guard down? Probably not. Neither was it professional to lean into your touch, almost gracing your clothed wrist with his lips. It wasn’t good but it felt good, the softness of your touch, the warmth seeking through your spider-gloves. If you’d allow it, he will fall asleep right here in your arms.
It was impossible for him to resist.
If only Lyla could see him now … big, bad wolf turned into a puppy.
However, he was left dumbfounded when he found himself stripped of your touch, even more so, when he found himself disliking the sudden coldness. Wanting to know what went wrong Miguel starred at you but nothing seemed to have changed. You still looked at him with the same fondness and empathy in your eyes, the only difference was that you’re patting your lap. His eyes followed your directions, and he grew hesitant.
“May I?” It should’ve been Miguel asking and not you. Though, resting on your thighs was a nice, almost heavenly thought but he shouldn’t enjoy your comfort too much. “Miguel, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s okay.” He declined.
“C’mon Miguel, it’s comfortable I promise,” you smiled, but he didn’t move. Surely it must be more comfortable than hanging in your hands, but Miguel couldn’t let himself fall on your lap. Already he was enjoying the tenderness of your fingers too much, what would happen if he rested on your thighs? Would he melt into them like he did with your hands? The though was nice but he resisted, not for long though. Tugging, basically dragging him by his arms, you somehow managed to pull his heavy body down on your lap. Carefully he shifted his weight, so only his head and upper body were lying on you. He didn’t want to crush you. However, the feeling that spread through his body as he rested on your thighs was both nice, comfortable and weird. Overall, it was a weird sensation and he’d found himself in a situation he’d never dreamed about before.
“May I?” Miguel had no idea what you were up to, yet he agreed with a hum. His eyes fell close and he hummed again, when he felt your fingers carefully dancing over his body, moving from his shoulder to his hair. It wasn’t the same when you held him in your hands, fingers holding him and caressing his cheeks. It felt different but good, relaxing your hands running through his hair, gently scratching his scalp. And sometimes he could feel the ghost of your fingertips brushing over his face.
He didn’t know how long you stayed in this position, sitting in silence, him resting on your lap and you caressing him like a pet. Miguel couldn’t remember the last time somebody did this for him or when his muscles felt so relaxed. Again, if you’d allow it, he’ll fall asleep right here by your side. But then he remembered what you asked him a long time ago.
“I killed them.” Miguel’s voice was surprisingly calm, even to him. Neither knowing what he meant nor how to answer this, you remained silent. But he could feel your eyes on him. He wasn’t sure if he liked it … not after confessing murder. Yet, he explained, “I killed them all, billions of people, my – his daughter Gabriella, all because I was selfish. – Gabby died because I was foolish to believe that my actions wouldn’t have any consequences.”
His confession shocked you; he could hear it in the change of your breathing and the stillness of your hands, and something in him died. Shocked by his confession you surely would leave. Push him off you like something disgusting. Maybe you would never talk to him again, unless it was necessary, and the thought scared him. His mind had told him to push you away. It was best to handle it all by himself, it was what he always did. But the stupidity people called the heart had won and now the thought of you leaving scared him.
“Tell me what happened.” Your voice was calm, not scared, not soft, just calm. It wasn’t the reaction Miguel had imagined, especially not when your fingers continued to play with his hair. You weren’t even disgusted by him. What kind of person were you to not leave him? “Tell me what happened.”
And he did. Miguel told you everything. How he took the role of a dead man, living his life and raising his daughter. He made it clear that he thought of his actions as selfish and stupid, because he erased a whole universe and with that Gabriella’s future. Never would he forget the fear in her eyes, how she clung to him, looking for safety, calling for her dad – for him, not knowing her real dad has died – until she disappeared as well.
Telling his nightmare was awful, remembering the horrors of his action never got any less painful. But sharing it with you felt surprisingly relieving. It wasn’t like he was healed from his pain but telling you about it made it a little more bearable. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
How should he answer? Thank you? Moments ago, Miguel would’ve grumbled at the pitiful – no, empathic, he’d learned that much by now – tone in your voice but now he liked it, just as he enjoyed you calling him by his name. Miguel didn’t know what to say.
“I don’t think you killed them, Miguel,” you said after an eternity, never stopping playing with his brown strands. Careful he shifted his weight to look at you. Even with one eye lazily opened, he decided that he liked looking at you, watching how you react to him. “Then, who did?”
Wringing with the words on your tongue you hesitated. “I don’t know.”
In normal circumstances Miguel would be grim, and scoff at your naïve words, claiming to be the villain of his story. The selfish murderer of Gabriella O’Hara. However, now he felt rather tame and tired. It’s enough for him. So, he only hummed, closing his eye to revel in the fondness of your touch.
“But you can’t know either.” He looked at you again. He had to correct you, he knew, it was obvious, really. But before an answer could roll over his tongue you were quick to intervene. “I know what you’re going to say, Miguel. You’ve seen it and to you it makes sense, but listen – I … how does anything make any sense? Multiple universes, anomalies, canon events … we shouldn’t even be here, Miguel. I shouldn’t, none of us. But here we are.”
There’s a hint of sadness in your tone, faint yet he heard and didn’t like it. Miguel knew you’d meant to comfort him but, in the end, you’d realized, that nothing of this should’ve happened. You should’ve never met the friends you made in the spider society, never should’ve met him and never found him dark, and lonely in his room. Almost instinctively his hand reached out to you, gently cupping your face. Now it was his turn to comfort you, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. Unsure if he should draw small circles with his thumb, like he wanted to, or caress like you used to do, he just held you. “Don’t. – The multiverse is mine to preserve.”
“Oh, Miguel.” A soft, but sad smile graced your lips as you laid your hand over his, unwilling to let him go. “It’s not yours, either.”
“But it was my fault, not yours. Don’t worry about something I’ve done.”
You sighed. “Miguel, you shouldn’t carry this burden alone, we’re all Spider-Man. It’s not your duty alone to save the multiverse, you can’t do this alone. I – I think what I’m saying is, you’re not alone, Miguel. You might think that you’ve to do all by yourself but that’s not the truth, we help you, all of us. We will carry that burden with you, I will.”
Truly it was sweet how caring you were, none of you could – and should – carry the arachno-humanoid poly-multiverse on your shoulders. It was his job to preserve one less universe from being destroyed. It was his shoulders who had to carry the burden of it all, not yours. None of you should ever have to worry about the stability of your universe. But there was something burning in your eyes as you spoke, something Miguel enjoyed watching. So instead of objecting and lecturing you about the truth he heaved a hefty sigh and closed his eyes, making himself comfortable in your lap. It takes some time until you picked up where you left playing with his hair, gently scratching his skin here and there.
It's quiet as you ran your fingers through his hair, he doesn’t even move. You weren’t even sure if he was still breathing. But you swore you heard a hum, a content sound vibrating through his big body. However, when you try to check on him there’s nothing, no sound, no movement, not even a smile. Miguel simply looked like he’s asleep, stoic and grim – just like when he’s awake. It’s a silly though, him always looking serious no matter if he’s asleep or wake, it made you smile. However, in rare moments, when you’re not looking at him, his lips curl into a grin.
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nekokoaa · 9 months
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The Agreement - Miguel O'Hara x Therapist!Reader (III)
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Summary: It was simple. No kissing. No sex. Hugs and hand-holding only. The goal was to help Miguel feel a little less lonely sometimes. That was your job as one of the therapists at HQ, to mentally stabilize everyone’s mind, including the boss’s.
In other words, you and Miguel make a deal.
Rated Explicit, fluff, smut
4K words | (3/5) chapters
Chapters:
(I) (II) (III) (IV) (V)
Author's notes: I work as a freelance copywriter so I had to prioritize my projects but I still managed to get this done! Enjoy! :) Let me know if you want to be a part of the tag list.
Also on AO3
III.
Sometimes you wish you were mindless—just a rusty cog of a machine in a 9 to 5 corporate job. Simply, a taciturn sheep led by a shepherd, waiting for the day a butcher’s knife is pressed against its neck. It was easier to handle life in such a way. Regrets can never be born when allied with carelessness.
But it was something beyond you. Clearly. The throes of passion had tempted you that night. His hand on your hip firmly held you in place, fingers pressed into your suit. Covetous crimson eyes searched between your eyes and lips long enough that the sweat of your skin gathered at your clavicles. But you managed to resist his heat, disappointing, yes, but at least you still had your dignity—your morals. If it wasn’t for that, you might’ve been in his bed that night, rocking your hips against his without a single care in the world.
Three weeks had passed by and you haven’t had a session with him since that night. You were canceling them in hopes that the fire between you fizzles. With distance, desire usually fades so you only hoped that night was just your hormones acting up and there wasn’t a deeper meaning to how you felt.
Between that time, you had the opportunity to meet Gwen Stacy from 65. She was a nice girl, cool, and very much like all of you. Burdened with the sense of justice with a side of wittiness.
She was popular, especially among the Peters who had lost their Gwens. They looked at her like she was a what-if moment and were impressed by her, but you knew you’ll be seeing them on your office couch soon enough.
Hobie was practically best friends with her now. The late night sessions with Hobie were a rare occurrence these days. Like a stray, he found a new person to feed his interests.
Jess favored her the most. Reminded her of her younger days, and how impressive she was at that age—still is, as she’s been carrying a baby in her stomach while doing her missions flawlessly.
Miguel was indifferent. At least that’s how he acted. But as long as work was getting done, you were leveling up the relationship bar with him.
Out of everyone, Peter B was home to her. To see a familiar face amongst like-minded strangers had helped her settle in faster than you expected. Seeing them together made them look like family.
Because of the great reputation she had around the society, today you allowed Gwen to pull you away from the safety of your office straight to Miguel’s for what she called emotional support. There was something she wanted to ask him—a request. And she had the idea that your presence would soften him up somehow.
“Why do you think that?” When you asked, Gwen looked back at you with a knowing smile. Her hand still latched onto your wrist like a snake squeezing its prey. She guided you through the cavernous hall of tech that led to Miguel’s office, the pathway seemed to grow darker the closer you got.
“I see how you two look at each other during meetings.” She said effortlessly like it was a fact. You let out a cough like you choked on air, already shaking your head to her conclusion.
“You know he’s always leading them—what? Do you expect me to look at the ceiling or something?” Gwen laughed at this, but it didn’t look like she was convinced.
Walking in, you had expected Miguel’s office to be darker than the hall leading towards it, but it was instead imbued with a ruddy tint, and streaks of sliver threads surrounded the area Miguel was standing in. He was in the middle of briefing a few Spider-Men for a mission on Gaia-3000. Miguel always made sure to remind his agents of the canon events before going on a mission to prevent the loss of the universe. It was more important than the mission itself.
The briefing didn’t last long as Miguel noticed you enter with Gwen. His gaze could’ve riveted you to the floor, the look on his face was neither soft nor austere—perhaps aloof would best describe how he looked at you. Yet you wanted to believe there was something behind those eyes of his because not once did they leave you since you entered. 
It was until the Spider-Men walked into their portals that Miguel’s attention moved to the floating projections. The silver webs of fate orbited around him as if he were a sun. He would’ve looked occupied if it weren’t for his eyes moving between you and the projections.
“Doc.” He greeted you once you were in front of him, looking down at you through the hologram of a canon event that floated in between you two. There was a moment—just a moment where his eyes looked soft… but it could’ve been the trick of the hologram.
“Miguel.” You had to suck your lips in to stop yourself from smiling. You hated to admit it, but you were happy to speak to him after so long. Staying away from him was a selfish decision, one that you regretted now that you stood in front of him. 
Your heart thumped in bliss, the warmth from that night revisiting you like an old friend. How inane of you to think that distance would’ve settled this emotion. It was already being stitched onto your soul from the moment this agreement started—the very needle sunken in when his hand stretched out of that portal into your apartment many months ago. You couldn’t pretend anymore.
You fell for him. Regardless of whether he felt the same or not.
“Uh, I’m here too…” Gwen had a slight smile on her face, bending forward with a small wave to Miguel.
“Gwen,” you could tell Miguel forced a smile, fangs appearing while none of the light reached his eyes. It lasted a moment before it dropped to his usual scowl. Miguel then turned around to face his floating platform that started its slow descent to the ground. “I’m sure you already had a tour of the place unless you’re just here to say hello.”
“I wanted to talk to you about something!”
“If a universe isn’t collapsing, or an anomaly hasn’t appeared, then Jess can handle it.”
“But it’s important! I just figure it would make our jobs easier. You know, making sure the universes are in order?”
The rumble of the descending platform had filled in for Miguel’s silence. He peeked behind his shoulder, his eyes looking past Gwen’s and into yours before they lowered to the ground. He then folded his arms against his chest, sighing. “I’m listening.”
Gwen immediately beamed, light filling her eyes. “Okay!” You could tell her entire energy ignited. Her arms flailed with every word that left her lips. She was animated—excited, glowing like a sun rising from the horizon, its rays brighter as the seconds go by. If anyone were to watch her, they too would feel elated by her presence alone. 
But as the sun rises in one part of the world, it sets in the other. Her idea was nothing but grave to you, the dread in your face impossible to hide as she spoke with an open mind—naivety in her words. You couldn’t blame her because it’s possible no one told her yet, not Jess and surprisingly not Peter B. If she had told you of her idea prior, you wouldn’t have come here to support her. Just the thought of her idea could be considered mutiny to the entire cause… to Miguel.
You cast your eyes down, afraid to even lift them towards Miguel. You didn’t have to. You could already feel it brewing, simmering like water on a stovetop. A part of you internally begged for Gwen to shut up, or wished the sound of the descending platform was loud enough to overtake her voice. Miguel wasn’t facing either of you but you could still feel a weight on top of your shoulders, drilling you into the floors, your limbs heavier than sacks of sand.
Gwen went on and on until she was rambling, probably because she was excited or nervous. You couldn’t exactly tell. It was until the platform finally reached the ground that Gwen ended her request with a “pretty please” and a large smile on her face.
That smile didn’t last long.
“No,” Miguel spoke softly.
“Wha…” she faltered, physically her shoulders dropped. “What? Wait—why? I mean—he would be such a great asset to our group and—Probably one of the best Spider-mans I’ve met. The things he can do— He’s amazing , Miguel.”
“I said, no.” And it was final. Gwen knew that but she still pushed, making her argument, excuses, anything. Miguel silenced her with a heavy sigh, fingers moving to pinch the bridge of his nose. You expected anger when he turned to face her but no, there was nothing but sympathy in his eyes. Sympathy for what he had to reveal to her. He towered over her and with a heavy hand on her shoulder, said:
“That Miles Morales… was never supposed to be a Spider-Man. He’s not one of us. He’s an anomaly , Gwen, the original anomaly.”
At those words, it was like a string was pulled, released and an arrow soared and struck her chest. Gwen was trying to make sense of it all but nothing made sense no matter how long she thought about it.
Miguel continued regardless. With the command of his hands, the projections swirled around you three, depicting the moment when Spider-42 fell into Earth-1610, bit the wrong Miles Morales and in turn, the Spider-man from his universe died. Your real comrade.
Gwen didn’t want to believe it. Shaking her head as she stared at each projection. The truth floated around her. Thoughts ran a mile a minute. It would’ve been better if Peter B. told her instead of Miguel. Maybe if she heard it from a trusted friend, it would’ve been easier to believe. But Gwen knew there was no reason for Miguel to lie about this. What motive could Miguel have to not let Miles join the Spider Society?
“Miles Morales-1610 as Spider-man was a mistake.” His words to her were the final nail to a coffin. With the skidding sound coming from her shoes, she turned around and bolted out of Miguel’s office.
“Gwen!” You were about to chase after her until Miguel’s voice cut through the air.
“You think I’m done here?”
You physically jumped at how loud he sounded like thunder had rolled and rumbled the floor under your feet. You turned towards him and immediately you regretted it. What was brewing before was most certainly his anger, saved solely for you while Gwen was spared because of her naivety. But you—you knew better than to associate yourself with the anomaly. If only Miguel could give you a chance to explain yourself.
“Miguel, I—”
He didn’t let you finish. His hand latched onto your wrist, pulling you deeper into his office and into a room beyond the shadows. It was more like a traditional office than the one outside with a desk, a bookcase, a soft couch and some cabinets. There was even a bed that Miguel probably slept in whenever he didn't want to return home. The sheets were ruffled so you could tell he often used it but never had enough time to make it because he was usually always on the go.
However, it was the last thing on your mind when you had a fuming Miguel in front of you. He didn’t even wait for the door to close before he grabbed you a little too rough by the shoulders, shaking you lightly. Red eyes lasered down on you.
Undoubtedly, you knew he was angry, but there was something else in there.
“What were you thinking? You know what Miles-1610 is to us, Doc! You know what an anomaly could do to a universe and you still supported her idea? Did you really think that was okay? Letting an anomaly join and ruin everything —!”
“I didn’t know! I didn’t know that’s what she wanted to ask! All she told me was that it would support the society and she needed me here for emotional support! If I knew it was about the anomaly, I wouldn’t have come here!”
You yelled back louder. Miguel’s talon-less fingers buried themselves in your upper arms, squeezing them. His eyes were wide, shaky red irises searching within your own for any hint of honesty. The grip on you wasn’t as firm as it looked. Like a crane holding a prize, the slightest nudge would’ve shaken his hands off. Despite how he looked, Miguel made sure he wasn’t hurting you.
“This is exactly why I told Jess I didn’t want her to join! She’s—She’s too close with the anomaly. She can jeopardize our entire cause all because of him !” He froze after, an idea appearing in his head. He wasn’t thinking rationally anymore. He released you, turning around like he wanted to leave. “She has to go home.”
“Wait! You can’t—Let’s think about this, Miguel.”
He was quick to face you again, his hands returning to your upper arms. He bent forward until his face was at your level. “I can’t have her risk all that I built—that we built.”
There it was. It wasn’t just anger he was feeling. The signs were all there; His trembling breath, the sweat that made his forehead glossy, the weakness in his hold. 
Miguel was panicking.
It was fear that buried itself within his fury from the moment Gwen had asked for Miles-1610’s recruitment and when he thought you supported her idea. It was like he saw it again. His daughter disappearing in his arms, the weight of her so heavy… until he felt nothing—until nothing around him existed except for what remained of the universe: white light and empty space. He had the blood of that universe on his hands and no matter how many times he tried to wash them away, it was now embedded in his soul. All that existed ended because he was the anomaly of that world disrupting the canon events. 
Months after months of research couldn’t bring him the exact reason for that universe ending, but he was sure of one thing. If everything went how it was planned, nothing like that would happen ever again.
And that’s why it was his job to put things back to how it was. It was the only thing he could do to atone.
So yes, Miguel was reliving his trauma yet again.
And it was your job to relieve him of it.
“That doesn’t mean we should make rash decisions,” you told him, gently. “She’s one of our best and letting her go would slow down our efforts. You and I both know that.”
Miguel’s energy was being sapped out of him, visibly his shoulders dropped and those red eyes were no longer on you as he hung his head low. He released you and retreated to sit on his bed. For a moment, he looked like a toy that ran out of batteries, burying his face in his hands before he ran them through his curly locks.
It was so different seeing him like this—like he was moping. You followed him and stood between his legs.
“Besides, Gwen's a smart girl. She wouldn’t do anything that would put the universes at risk.” He didn’t respond or even look at you. It made you run a hand against his cheek as your thumb brushed under his eye. “When’s the last time you slept? You look tired.”
“I don’t have time to be tired. Not when there’s a Galaxy-size mess I have to clean up. With every anomaly we restore, 10,000 more just take its place. It’s never-ending, Doc. I’m like a janitor mopping up a shoreline.” 
“We all took an oath. A spider-person’s job never ends. Which is why we need to rest as much as we can to fight another day.”
“I didn’t ask for this, Doc.” He sighed, leaning his head against your hand until his cheek pushed up against it. “And I won’t be able to sleep.”
“None of us did…” you lightly smiled, “And I’ll help you.”
You pulled your hand away from his cheek, but you didn’t miss when he leaned more against it for his lips to press into your palm. The brief feel of them jolted something within you like a warm shiver struck your lower stomach. Gosh, it made you curious—too curious about how they would feel against other parts of your body.
And you didn’t miss those eyes that looked up at you, red like cherries, sweet like them too. It was hard to turn away, somewhat thankful you managed to because you didn’t want to be under their spell. You still felt the heat of them on you even as you approached his bookcase. Your palm still tingling from the feel of his lips as you pulled a book off one of the shelves. You returned to him grinning.
He was disappointed when he glanced at your book choice in your hand. “Charlotte’s web? Am I a kid to you?”
“No, but… you act like one sometimes. Lay down for me.”
You pushed against his shoulder leaving him no choice but to oblige. What he didn’t expect was you to climb in after him, settling on your side next to him while you opened the book to page one and started to read. 
Miguel still couldn’t sleep. His eyes remained open, watching the top of your head as you read. A lovely smile on your face as you tried (and failed) to give each character their own distinctive voice. When you weren’t busy turning the page, the hand that he kissed was together with his, fingers interlocked. You were so used to holding his hand by now that you thought nothing of it and ignored the warmth that spread throughout your body because of it.
“Are you finally resuming our sessions?” Miguel interrupted you, pulling your eyes away from the book and into his own.
“Only if you need it.”
You knew Miguel would never admit he needed it, especially how adamant he was about them in the beginning.
“I need it.”
Oh.
“I definitely need it.”
“Then… I’ll put you back on my calendar.”
“ Muy Bien. ”
His sonorous whisper had heat searing your cheeks, not to mention, that smile that flashed your way made his fangs look bigger—so mischievous it had you biting your lip. Immediately after, Miguel’s mask materialized around his head. Much to your disappointment.
“Do you really need your mask on while you sleep?” You asked.
“You never know when the job needs you. Have to always be on the ready.”
“Words from a true workaholic… you said you wanted a family but how exactly were you going to make time for them when you’re working all these hours?”
“Oh, I always made time for mi hija . Always went to her soccer practice. Always was there to read her a bedtime story. Take her clothes shopping. I was made to be a dad but… it just isn’t in my fate to be one.”
You couldn’t see his face, but you heard his pain. You squeezed his hand, regretful.
“I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, no, no, no—It’s okay… It’s a valid question.”
Not knowing what else to say, you continued to read. Seconds, minutes, time ticked away. Miguel’s hand was still tight in yours, but his voice came out heavy whenever he commented about the book. His head was against the pillows, turned in your direction. 
Your voice must’ve been soothing him because his hand would grow weak in yours and then he would suddenly squeeze it, throwing a random comment out about the main character, Wilbur, and then trying to convince you he didn’t fall asleep. Sometimes the heat where your hands came together would make him doze off and the coolness that grew when they were briefly apart would stir him awake.
“Maybe we should’ve recruited Charlotte. She really saved that pig’s ass,” he mumbled, looking like he had sunk deeper into his bed, the pillows swallowed his head.
“Yeah, she dedicated her life to saving him. All the way to the very end. She never gave up, spending hours weaving her web, trying to convince the humans no matter how tough it got. I’m sure she may have felt like she was… mopping up a shoreline too but her actions paid off in the end… the difference is, you’re not alone, Miguel. You have us—all of us to rely on, to help shoulder the burden. Please don’t forget that—that we’re here for you.”
You expected something, anything from him, but you received nothing but silence. “Miguel…? Oh…” it was then you noticed his hand was weak in yours and when you pulled your hand away, he stayed asleep.
Finally. You couldn’t help but smile, softly closing the book before sitting up.
You watched his chest rise and fall as he lay supine against his bed. You should’ve left his office but you stayed there watching him sleep, taking in the rare sight of Miguel completely defenseless. You wished you could’ve seen his face. It would’ve been the topping on the cake.
Your fingers brushed against his arm, suddenly craving the warmth of his body.
You couldn’t deny your feelings for him any longer, but you wondered if Miguel felt anything for you. You knew how lonely men acted. As long as the body was warm and could keep them company, it didn’t matter to them.
Some part of you wondered if you were just as lonely as Miguel—that these feelings were just because you craved for someone. Maybe it was even the reason why you sprung up this agreement in the first place. After your divorce, you became married to your work, the only thing that mattered was your patients as a therapist and the people you saved as a superhero. You abandoned yourself, shutting yourself off from the world within your white-walled apartment. It was why you looked up to Miguel as much as you did because he was the one who pulled you out of your darkness. So you were hoping you could do the same thing for him.
But you knew your heart beat too strongly for it to be just feelings of loneliness. It longed for him even when you were this close to him, wanting to be surrounded by the warmth that emanated from him, wanting to be touched, kissed, and held only by the man who saved you, your guiding light while you were lost at sea.
Your hand moved to caress his cheek, feeling the fibers of his mask under your fingertips. You were leaning closer to him, unable to resist like a moth to a flame. God, you were completely enamored by him. Looks like he didn’t need to look at you to be under his spell.
For the first time, you didn’t think about the consequences. For the first time, you were mindless.
You pressed your lips against his lips, closing your eyes. It was softer than you expected; light, feathery and warm. Too warm . It was brief but it was enough to light a flame within you that burned when you pulled away. Your breath shuddered as you inhaled, the warmth lasting only a second.
Your eyes opened, but you found yourself stilling. Miguel’s eyes were still closed, though half of his mask was dematerialized to the tip of his nose. His lips were out, free from the fibers.
Your mouth hung open. Miguel had removed half of his mask when kissed him and you hadn't a clue if he was asleep all this time or not.
The remainder of his mask dematerialized and you were face to face with those eyes of his. Your heart skipped a beat, knocking the air from your lungs as your palms grew sweaty. 
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
You felt so much pressure under his gaze, his face not quite readable. You flicked your wrist towards the ceiling and a web shot out, preparing yourself to run away until a glowing red web wrapped around your wrist and riveted you in place.
“Not this time, Doc.”
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Tag List:
@oikawa-bubs @brittney69 @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @allysunny @smarty0029 @96jnie @deepinballs @lovecandyuwu @remuslupinwifee
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the-power-of-a-pen · 6 months
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To Love, To Lose
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Fandom: Insomniac Spider-Man
Summary: Harry shows up to May's house while you and MJ deliberate. He seems... different.
Word Count: 1068
Pairing: Harry Osborn x reader (romantic - established)
Trigger(s): Cursing, Light angst
A/n: I wrote this in 10 minutes and I wasn't going to post it b/c I didn't think it was up to my usual standard? But hey, the Harry Osborn fans have such little content, so why not. Might delete later, but feel free to request something!
MJ was pacing around in May’s house while talking to Peter on the phone when knocks came from the front door. 
“I’ll get it,” you told her. You were already jittery enough with the state of the city and you needed to move around.
Pete’s voice was barely audible from MJ’s phone, saying, “Just… try to stay away from Harry. He’s not himself anymore.”
You shuddered and toyed with a hair tie on your wrist. The last time you saw your boyfriend, he lashed out and yelled at you to leave his apartment. It was the first time you had ever been scared of him, and unfortunately, it wasn’t the last. 
You opened the door and yelped when you saw Harry leaning in the doorway with a distant, mischievous look in his eyes. You immediately went to slam the door shut, but he put his hand on the door and pushed it open with an unprecedented amount of force. 
MJ had had to deliver the news of what had happened to Harry in the Oscorp lab. About how ghostly he looked, and how angry he was, and how that thing swallowed him whole. How it made a mockery of one of the kindest souls you’d ever met by speaking as if they were one. 
But in front of you was Harry, your Harry, in the flesh. He looked more alive than ever before.
“Babe,” you started cautiously, hoping to appeal to whatever was left of your boyfriend. “I haven’t heard from you in while. I was worried.”
He took a slow step towards you and you fought the urge to move back. Some scuttling in the background told you MJ was searching for her gun behind the kitchen counter.
“I’ve been busy.” He took another step closer to you, and this time, you bumped into a stack of boxes behind you. His eyes traced your silhouette. “Do you know why I fell in love with you?”
You didn't even bother trying to find out where the fuck he pulled that question from. He's still there, you told yourself. Just respond how you normally would. "Because I'm hot?"
Harry put his hand on your cheek. “Charming, as always.” He let his hand fall. “It’s deceiving.”
“What do you mean?” Hurry up, MJ.
“This is me giving you a chance, love,” he drolled. “I fell in love with you because you’re always helping people. You’ve always been that way. With your work in FEAST, with Pete and his hero work, when Mom passed…” Harry’s eyes fluttered and you willed him to hold onto that bit of consciousness. “I’m better now. I have the power to make everything better. The question is, are you going to join me?”
“Harry,” you began, looking down. He grabbed your chin so that you met his gaze, with more force than need be. You squeezed your eyes shut.  You were trembling now, and his grasp did not loosen. “I want to help you,” you whispered, “But this isn’t the way.”
“Look at me.”
You obliged, and locked your jaw to gather some nerve. 
He took a step back and released you, seeming shocked at his own on-and-off behavior. “Are you scared of me?”
You reach out to him tentatively and brought the sides of his jacket closer to his neck. He was seeing through you, his eyes scrutinizing your every minor movement, so you said the only honest comment that felt safe to say. “I’m scared for you.”
His tendrils shot out abruptly and grabbed your arm, making you scream. “After everything we’ve been through together, you still won’t trust me. You’re so fucking blind!”
“Harry, this isn’t you.” You fought to get out of his tendrils’ grip, but they move to take hold of your neck. 
“Wrong,” he grinned, applying more pressure. “This is the real me.”
Harry spasmed suddenly and fell to the floor, dropping you in the process.
"Back window," MJ ordered, taser gun in hand as she ran to meet you on the other end.
You didn't hesitate. How could you? You always thought your loyalty would overpower your survival instinct, but a loved one binding with an alien and choking you seemed to be the breaking point of that value. The feeling of betrayal burned, and you couldn't decipher it.
You ran through the kitchen and into the backroom, then vaulted through the window -- but not before grabbing a box cutter on your way out. MJ helped you to your feet, but Harry had already recovered and was in pursuit.
MJ put her hands up in surrender, and you mirrored her actions. "We love you, Harry. Do you know how much it hurts to see you like this?"
"It hurts to see me healed?" Harry laughed darkly. "Some friend you are. Maybe that's why your writing never goes anywhere."
You turned to your last ditch effort. "You're right," you told him, stepping forward while MJ stood frozen behind you. "We haven't been listening to you. You look healthier now, because of... the suit." You took a few more steps forward. His tendrils swirled behind him - he was wary, but not enough to attack. "Who's to say what else it can do? I'm scared, Harry, I won't lie. But I'm tired of not being able to save the people I love."
Harry closed the distance and took your hand. "You're ready to take that leap of faith?"
You gulped and nodded. The symbiote travelled from his arm to your enclosing around it and spreading to your chest. "One more thing, though." You pulled him closer with your free arm and whispered in his ear, "I don't go down without a fight."
You plunged the box cutter into Harry's side.
Harry didn't react. Harry wasn't there at all. The symbiote, no longer attached to the both of you, consumed Harry entirely. It was a looming, hideous monster. "Naïve. We should have known better. But you should have, too."
His tendrils shot out towards MJ. You ran to free her, but got thrown into the wall of the house by another tendril. MJ screamed and clawed at the grass, but the symbiote overcame her in angry strands of red and yellow until a smaller, more terrifying version of Harry's monster took hold of her.
"Show them what they're missing," the larger symbiote called over its shoulder before launching into the distance.
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madwomansapologist · 10 months
Note
Hi. Can you write a smut scene between the female reader and my favorite Disney character, Captain Hook from Disney’s Peter Pan 1953 original film that starts with love at first sight please? I have a serious fangirl crush on him.
hooked by you | captain hook
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Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | More Captain Hook | AO3
synopsis: It happened. It finally happened. Hook defeated Peter Pan. He saw the silhouette flying above the clouds, readied the modified harpoon that fired a net, and finally managed to catch him! Little did he knew it wasn't Peter Pan.
warnings: DarlingSister!reader. female!reader. porn with plot. love at first sight. mention of erotic literature. that man is possessive. guns. chats about murder.
note: Thanks for your request, darling! I watched it again to write this, and I've just realized it's been almost eight years since I last saw Peter Pan. It was fun. And you made me realize I don't have normal pure thoughts about Hook. Like if I needed another character to be obsessed with. Hope you like it!
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After so much screaming and arguing, George and Mary finally left the house. You waved, wished them a good night, and locked the front door. What a mess. All that fuss because of a character from a bedtime story.
You went upstairs and opened the door to your sibilings' room, but the three of them were already asleep. You knew that Wendy didn't want to leave the children's room, you thought that if you talked to her that fear could be eased, but she was already sighing. Maybe tomorrow.
You entered your room and changed into your pearly nightgown. You saw your parents entering a cabriole from the wide window. When they disappeared, you ran into the backyard and released Nana from the leash.
Tomorrow you'll sort it out with your dad. George can be furious, your mom word it as passionate, but deep down he's the most caring father you could wish for. George is always barking, never biting.
And your night would have ended there if you hadn't looked up. You should have seen a starry night. A full moon. But you saw your brothers. Flying.
That's it. You went crazy. Mad. Lunatic.
"Peter, wait!" Michael cry out. "You forgot one sister!"
"Michael?" You shuddered. Insane. Completely insane. "Michael, is that you?"
"Wait a second!" Michael waved the teddy bear at you and disappeared into the sky. After a infinite second, he appeared with something glowing in his hand and flew towards you. "Think happy thoughts," he instructed you.
Then a glittering dust fell on you. You coughed and tried to clear yourself. Crazy. Completely crazy. When you looked down, you saw the ground. Which would be normal. If it wasn't too far away.
Michael took your hand. "I told you Peter Pan existed!"
"Oh. My God." You shouted. "Oh. My God." You were flying! Flying. No. No, you weren't. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and emptied your mind. When you opened your eyes, you saw the Big Ben. From above. "Oh. My. God."
"Don't be scared." Michael gave you two pats on the back. The same you do when he wakes up from a nightmare. He gave you his teddy bear. You hold onto it like it would protect you from anything. "We are going to Neverland!"
Then Michael flew again. You got to see John and Wendy flying up ahead, along with who could only be Peter Pan. You tried to follow them, but flying was a lot harder than the three of them made it out to be.
It was just a really realistic dream. Just that. A good dream about flying with your siblings.
Hugging the teddy bear, you slowly followed them. You passed chimneys, climbed through clouds, stood over the hands of Big Ben: always a few minutes late in comparison to them. But in the end, even with a lot of fear, you did follow them towards the Second Star to the Right.
Seeing Neverland, you felt butterflies in your stomach. It wasn't madness, it wasn't a dream, it was true. When the four stopped on a cloud, you thought you finally caught up with them.
Then something hit you.
It got tangled up in your body, heavy enough to make you fall. A net pulling you into the sea. You tried to fly, you tried to let go, but the more you moved the more you got tangled up in it.
The net was heavy, pulling you down, but it wasn't a sudden fall. You just couldn't go up. Which didn't mean it was comfortable. Yards and yards of fabric tangled up on you, just weighing you down.
A whirlwind of voices showed you that people were approaching, but you couldn't see anything. You just felt the impact against what must have been the ground. It didn't hurt, but it felt weird to stop flying.
"Finally, Mr. Smee, I will take care of my worthy opponent." You heard a rough, deep voice. People laughed at what he said. "I've waited years for it."
"That's not countin' the holidays, either", Mr. Smee complete. "Aye, there is the knife, Captain."
You tried to let go but only heard a deep chuckle. "Don't be a coward, my old enemy, face your fate." You heard the ripping of ropes. The weight on you began to lift. "Hook defeated you."
The knot holding the hammock came undone, and only then did you realize how much you needed to breathe without pounds of rope over your face. You blinked, the sun blinded you, and the black silhouette in front of you took on color.
And he was beautiful. You've read stories about pirates. Beautiful and funny stories like the ones Wendy shares with her brothers. But also about strong men, who know their ships like the back of their hands, who survive the ravages of the sea and vanquish the mightiest heroes. And you've also read about pirates who knew how to please a woman, dishonest men who kneel in front of their beloved, experienced men doing things girls shouldn't even know exist.
Hook reminded you of the latter type. "Disappointed?", you whispered. After all, it was just a dream.
Hook was frozen in place. Ready to slit Peter's throat and deliver him an honorable death, what was caught in his net was something far different than his little imp.
His heart was pounding so loudly that he almost didn't hear the question asked by the lady in front of him. Disappointed? How could he? You were more beautiful than any mermaid, more graceful than any woman he had ever seen, more delicate than any pearl. Wars would be fought in your honor and that would be the least any man with sense could do.
But his sailors are not known for being sensible.
"Of course we are!" One of them thought he had the right to talk to you. As if it wasn't already a miracle that he could see someone like you. "Where's Peter?"
Then Hook moved. He took the revolver out of his jacket and, without even looking in the direction he was aiming, pulled the trigger. The sailor fell overboard.
"Forgive me", Hook extends his hand to you. "My men don't know how to treat a lady."
You hesitated but accepted the touch. Hook set you on your feet again, more gently than you thought a pirate could display. "Apparently you kidnapped me."
"Aye, this is just a misunderstanding. See, I thought you were Peter Pan. It's not every day you see someone different flying over my ship."
"So... can I leave?" Your feet left the ground. Looks like you were already getting used to this flying thing. "And nothing will happen to me?"
Hook ran his fingers through his hat, a polite smile spreading across his face. "I would never dream of hurting you." Hook gestured toward his office. "May I apologize for the misunderstanding?"
"Apologize?"
"Drinks and conversation." Hook ran his fingers over his face. Good thing Mr. Smee shaved. It would be a horror if the love of his life met him in something other than his best version. "A proper apology."
You wouldn't normally accept such a request. To be alone with an unknown and dangerous man. Drinking with a man! But that was just a dream.
In his room, you floated around looking at the different shelves and finds. A pirate ship! It has so many treasures. "If you had captured Peter, would you have killed him?"
Your question took him by surprise. "That doesn't strike me as a conversation of lady interest."
As you turned, you saw Hook swapping the silver hook for a gold one. You smirked. "I showed interest, didn't I?"
Bossy. Ah, Hook knew you were his soulmate for sure. "I would have. Does that bother you?"
"No." You floated toward him, and sat down on the chair across from the table. Hook poured two glasses of some drink. You took the glass and thanked him, but didn't drink. "After all, this it's nothing but a dream."
"Dream?” Hook chuckled, downing his drink and sitting back in his armchair. “What convinces you of that?”
"I was at home, ready for bed, and suddenly I was flying to Neverland." You shrugged. "Clearly a dream."
Hook understood what was happening. Peter seems to have been confused. You are not a lost child. He never was careful. "I can prove this is not a dream."
"How?"
Hook rose, slowly circling the table. In front of her, he leaned on the wood. "Aren't you going to drink?"
Only then did you remember the glass in your hands. You took a sip, a grimace came over your face. "Strong", you coughed.
"Here's the proof." Hook touched your chin, making you lift your head and look. Only he did it with the golden hook. "Ever felt something like that in a dream?"
You swallowed hard. "No."
"So that means you're alone with the most dangerous pirate on the seven seas, the person who wouldn't have thought twice about slicing someone's throat out, completely helpless." Hook leaned in until he could feel your breath against his face. "Does that bother you?"
"You don't seem interested in ripping my throat out."
He gave you time to walk away. To fly in the direction you wanted. To leave him without saying a single word. Hook gave you time, but you let him kiss you.
He tasted like the rum you ignored. The hook left your chin and slid down to your waist, pulling you toward him. You leaned into his chest, kissing him back. It was so wrong, so unlike anything you would ever do, but it also felt so good.
You pulled away for air, and felt his fingers caressing your cheek. When you opened your eyes, you saw that Hook was smiling. "Do you know how to be silent?" You nodded in agreement. "Excellent."
He lifted you from the chair, and in one swift movement sat you down on the table. Hook was strong. Too strong. He pressed his thumb to your lip, watching you with lust. "You were made for me."
Before you could say anything, Hook knelt. You've read about it in books, but you could never imagine it would be such a satisfying sight. A man so strong, so dangerous, brought to his knees by you.
Hook didn't even bother to remove your nightgown. He just stuck his head between the fabric, desperate to satisfy you. To make you feel the same way he felt about you. To make you scream for him and make everyone understand that you belonged with him.
And so you did. Feeling him delight in your curves, his tongue brushing against your lips, his fingers pressing into your clit. You tried to be silent as he asked, but after a while you stopped worrying about it.
"You..." You didn't even knew what you wanted to say. You just wanted to feel more. To feel completed. To feel more and more of him. "I think I had dreams like that before."
You felt him gasp against your sex. Hook rose, his damp face close to yours, and you felt your face burn. "Haven't I convinced you this isn't a dream yet?"
His fingers explored your lips again, applying just the right pressure. You moaned against his lips, Hook squeezed his eyes shut. "What else do I have to do to convince you?"
You smiled. "I think you know what you need to do."
He bit your lip. "As you wish."
His fingers entered you. Slowly, carefully, but no less willingly. He filled you, long fingers repeatedly penetrating your insides, and you were unable to do anything but hold on to his shoulders and allow him to do whatever he wanted to you.
The sound of your wet pussy was almost embarrassing. "You're mine", Hook whispered against your ear.
"As you wish."
He quickened his movements, fucking you with a devotion no one has ever shown you. So close, so glued to your body, Hook has guided you to orgasm. You shuddered against his fingers, your fingernails scratched his perfectly groomed jacket, your moans were uncontrollable.
"Do you still think I'm part of a dream?” Hook trailed kisses from your throat to your jaw. “Has anything this good ever happened in your dreams?'
You shook your head. It was as close to an answer you were able to give him. It was enough for him. Hook is patient. He can wait.
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reverieblondie · 7 months
Text
Meeting
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Pairing: Gabriel O'Hara X Spider-woman!reader
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Smut with Some Plot, Mutual pining, Lots of teasing, Miguel is a cock block, Inappropriate use of a work table, Lab sex, Unprotected Penetrative Sex, Hair Pulling, Fingering.
Summary: It all started with a boring Spider Society meeting...then you two just couldn't stop seeing each other.
A/N: So I usually only write about Miguel but I was inspired to make the when I saw h4mmiee's Gabriel doodles, Please check them out they are great:
Here
Here
Anyways, I will hopefully have two more Miguel x reader fics up by Friday, so please look for those. I hope you enjoy this in the mean time, it was supposed to be shorter but I got carried away, whoops.
Word Count: 6,552
Another dull meeting at the spider society, Miguel O’Hara the boss man himself stands on the stage giving us our usual depriving. Don’t go on missions alone, report anomalies in your dimension, turn in all paperwork promptly, keep an eye on new recruits, blah blah blah…
This all feels so redundant now, we have these meetings every six weeks on the dot. All the spiders are here getting our lecture from Miguel, as he stands on his stage. You were standing in the front row so you got an unobstructed view of the leader. Usually, you get lucky and get to stand in the back, losing yourself in a daydream to pass the time, with the others who are also not particularly fond of the meeting's usual dull tones. But today you don't have such luck, being in the front means you have to look interested or you could earn a scolding from Miguel. No thanks. 
As you look at Miguel you see the select few who got to stand up on the stage with him. His closest allies get the pleasure of standing on the rise and looking out to the crowd; those with this honor are Jess Drew, Peter B Parker, and Ben Reilly. unsure exactly why those three get to be there but they seem to always be the ones Miguel tells the most things to. Miguel's AI LYLA also makes a cameo, though a small one with her glowing at Miguel's shoulder. But someone is missing you notice. 
Then there he is emerging from the doors at a quickened pace trying to get to his usual spot on the stage. Gabriel O'Hara, the Spider societies lead technician, is the one who helps develop the tech here and works to keep everything functioning. You didn't know him personally, in fact, the only time you ever have had a chance to see the infamous Gabriel O’Hara was at these meetings. Everyone knew that Gabriel and Miguel were brothers, the resemblance was uncanny from what you could see. 
It was a little-known fact that Gabriel was always working in the back labs somewhere so not a lot of people had stories of him. Those who do, always positively speak of him. Apparently, the brothers were like opposites. Interesting… 
Gabriel spills onto the stage beside Ben trying to brush off the fact that he is definitely late and will properly get a lecture on punctuality from Miguel after this. Your mind wonders, thinking about Gabriel and his role in HQ, and why he was late. Why did he even come to these? If you were him you would find an excuse to skip these meetings using the whole I'm not a Spider-person as an excuse. 
Wrapped in thought you don't realize that your eyes are glued on him, watching as he gets in his usual place, looking out to the crowd. You haven't even noted that you are staring, but he has. Gabriel slides his eyes towards you, then he flashes you a grin. The sudden smile seems to wake you up from your thoughts. You quickly avert your eyes, A bit embarrassed being caught staring and thrown by the smile.
 Wait, did he just smile at me? No right? I mean we don’t even know each other?
You look back up and his eyes have returned to Miguel giving his speech. A tinge of disappointment rushes through you. But almost as if he can hear your thoughts he looks back at you and smiles again adding a slight wave. 
Looking to your left looking then to your right you try to figure out who he is waving at. Looking back at him he gives a slight chuckle before mouthing the word “hi” to you. 
Okay yep, he has noticed you, I mean it would be rude not to respond right?
Smiling, you give him a “hey” in return. He eyes you for a moment before mouthing “How are you?”. This makes you giddy, is he really doing this now? “Good” you mouth in return. This was definitely a turn of events. And here you thought you were going to have to deal with another grueling meeting with nothing to distract you, but here he is.  
You mouth back to him “You were late” wanting to tease him for his unprofessionalism that you definitely didn’t care about. His eyes light up at your words “I know, work-related” he responds with a smile and a slight roll of his eyes. Adorable just adorable; you nod, well he's definitely keeping you interested. “Did I miss anything?” he tilts his head giving you a knowing smile, he knows he didn't miss anything, it's always the same thing at these meetings. You shake your head no “Same as usual”. 
Gabriel is amused by this and starts to mouth some more words but quicker this time. Your eyebrows furrow as you stare trying to catch what he is saying but he's moving his mouth too fast. He finally stops and smiles at you pleased with himself. All you can do is look at him and shake your head not catching what he is trying to say. This seemed to only encourage him to continue to mouth words at you quickly then stopping to see your reaction.
You smile and shake your head again and mouth “I can't make out what you are saying.”. Gabriel's eyes widen slightly and his lips creep into a sly grin “I know”. Oh, he's enjoying this, now playing this little game with you. However you can't deny you're enjoying playing back. 
It's then that your spider senses shake you slightly, looking over you realize that Miguel is no longer talking. Jess is talking about teams and mentoring positions available. Not listening because all your attention has gone to the fact that Miguel's eyes are glued to you with a confused look on his face. Quickly you stop smiling and avert your eyes from him. Miguel's glare, then shifts to Gabriel, leaning in, Miguel whispers something to Gabriel and then goes back to listening to Jess. 
 Shifting your eyes back over at Gabriel,  his eyes move back to you, he mouths the word “busted”, grinning widely. This earns a chuckle from you, he was busted but he didn't seem to care all that much. 
You and Gabriel continue to steal looks from one another for the rest of the meeting. When the grueling meeting comes to a close and people start to flood out of the room you give Gabriel a small wave goodbye and head out the door. 
It seems like everyone is eager to get on with their day moving out of the meeting room in haste. Once you are finally out you head to where your duties are, you were on paperwork duty for the week and you absolutely were dreading it. Not wanting to think about the grueling task ahead, You think back on Gabriel and giggle to yourself. He seemed like a playful person completely different from his older brother. 
Then your spider senses start to tingle and you quickly look to your right. There's Gabriel with his hand extended out to touch your shoulder but your senses gave him away. Seeming surprised by your sudden turning he smiles at you and then puts a serious look on his face furrowing his eyebrows, “Don’t you know you're not supposed to goof off during meetings? You could miss something important.” He says in a mocking tone.
Laughing at his impression of seriousness, you quip back “Oh? is that what you think?” You put your hands on your hips and cock one to the side. His Smile spreads wide at you, looking at you up and down for a quick moment. 
“It's what my brother told me I should think'' he holds his hand out to you “I’m Gabriel O’Hara, and you are?” you shake his hand introducing yourself, and swapping pleasantries while you do. 
His hands are bigger than yours and have calluses from him working hard on different machines all the time. Now that you're closer to him you can see the differences between him and Miguel, like Gabriel's green eyes and slight freckles that dust his cheeks. His hair was exactly like Miguel’s but he kept it loose rather than brushed back. Also with him up close to you now you could get a better look at the goggles attached to his head and a striped scarf that hung down from his neck. He was good-looking, and he knew it. The hint was the confidence that flowed out of him.
“So where are you heading off to now? A dangerous mission? Going to fight crime and save the day somewhere?” A smile is painted on his face as he asks you. “Oh yeah I have a very dangerous villain I have to fight, it's called paperwork and if I don’t turn it in on time the whole universe could shatter” Everyone in the society thought that the paperwork we had to do was ridiculous, this universe was so futuristic and we still had to fill paperwork? The hell?
Gabriel tsks “That danm paperwork, you think we could find a better way to log reports? Well if you find yourself with some downtime you should come by the lower floor tech lab, that's usually where I'm held up at.” 
You nod “I might just do that,” you say walking backwards to your work area keeping your eyes on Gabriel before turning around to get your work started. 
Gabriel watches you walk away, your hips swaying in a way that he can't help but smile at, he is appreciating the must wear your spider suit rule right now as he watches your form, his eyes glued to the tightness of your suit and the way it leaves little to the imagination.
 “Oh I am in trouble,” he whispered to himself with a shake of his head, before walking down to his lab. 
-----
Turns out that getting downtime while working at the Spider Society is a lot harder than you originally thought. It had been a couple of days and you finally had nothing on your plate to take care of so you slowly made your way to the tech lab on the lower level to hopefully have an impromptu meeting with Gabriel. During your time working you couldn't help your thoughts running back to your first meeting with the younger O’Hara. So it was only natural you were eager to get to see him again.  
Never having been to this part of HQ before you note that it was pretty deserted, the only things you could see were all the different machines, some whirling and operating while others were broken down into parts. This place seemed like a maze with you having to take turns constantly and having to go a different way when you would hit a dead end. This is where he works? No wonder he was late to the meeting. He probably got lost down here. 
Continuing to walk,  you start to hear what sounds like a voice and it sounds irritated. As you get closer and closer you can hear it more clearly and the words that are being slipped. 
“Come on you know you wanna…” 
“That's it keep humming for me, very good…”
“Mierda…” (shit)
The words you were hearing caused you to blush, is that Gabriel? Who is he talking to? When you round the corner you see Gabriel working on a machine, he's completely focused on his work. The whole body is crouched down in the machine, small grunts and the sound of metal scratching can be heard as he works tentatively.  The machine would seem to start working when Gabriel was working on it but quickly would shut off as he started to move out from under it. 
Getting closer and leaning against a machine a smirk on your face as you watch Gabriel work. From this angle, you can see his muscular back, oh? Hiding some lean muscle huh? Being so close to him you can observe his muscles tense as he continues to get more irritated, the smirk never leaving your face. 
“Come on your dirty thing, work for me!” 
The machine starts to whirl and work as he continues his tinkering. 
“That's a girl, work for Papi”
“So does talking to the machines help?” you say startling him
“ah, ¿qué carajos?” (What the fuck!?) Gabriel jumps at your voice and hits his head on the machine, he looks at you with goggles on his eyes as he rubs his head. standing there you can't help your giggle at his surprise. He lights up in your presence, quickly he moves his goggles to the top of his head to reveal his green eyes. 
 “Hey! You finally got some downtime!” He quickly stands to his full height with a warm smile looking down at you. 
“Yeah I did, I am a pretty busy woman so it took me some time to get all my stuff done.” you smile at him he seems excited to see you again, which causes your chest to warm up a bit.
 “Do you often talk like that to your machines?” you tease him. 
“Talk dirty? Yeah sometimes if they are being difficult” He says a bit embarrassed but quickly hides it with a smirk. 
“So you talk dirty often then?” you ask with a smile spreading to your lips, wanting to tease him more. But this only gets him to step closer to you and lean down to you slightly, his eyes roaming all over you, watching you as if you just told him a dirty secret about yourself. 
He smirks and looks deep into your eyes, making your heart race and your lower stomach tighten “Why? Are you enjoying it?” 
Oh, he's teasing you back, “Probably not as much as the machine is.” 
Gabriel looks over to the machine and smiles to himself before turning back to you. “Oh yeah, they can't resist my charm or these hands” he holds his large hands up to you in a playful gesture that has you blushing. 
Gabriel goes back to working on the machine stealing glances your way. Walking around you look at the different machines running your finger along some of them. “So how come you only come out during meetings?” darting your eyes to look at his tall figure up and down, when you do you catch his emerald eyes following your form as you walk. 
Moving away from his work, eyes still glued to you he shrugs. “Oh, I don't know, probably because Miguel doesn't like me getting distracted and leaving my work.”
Coming to a stop you look at what appears to be his work table, filled with tools and parts that you couldn't begin to understand. Pushing yourself up you sit yourself on the edge, slightly swaying your feet. Eyes glued to Gabriel as he begins to walk closer to you. That sly smirk on his face filled with mischief that you just couldn't resist. 
“Yeah? What gets you so distracted from your work?” 
Gabriel chuckles and looks to his feet for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “Well, I have a proclivity for flirting with pretty girls”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, it's very bad, I just can't resist the pull they have on me.”
“I couldn't even imagine how hard that is for you.” 
Gabriel stops right in front of you and leans both arms down to the edge of the table, trapping you between them. Being so close to his face you are trapped looking into his eyes, his tantalizing scent takes over your senses. Flirty smirk still glued to his face he slowly leans into you dragging his hands slowly back. 
“Sometimes it's downright painful.”
His closeness causes your face to flush and your heartbeat to race. Leaning in slightly. 
Gabriel looks from your eyes to your lips back to your eyes again. A slight hum left his lips. Leaning in you know you hardly know him but the tension between you two has been electric. This has to be what he's wanting right? Then he quickly pulls back holding a tool in his hand. 
“Pardon me, I just needed to grab this from behind you real quick.” 
That cocky tease just totally played you! 
Eyes wide you Quickly readjust yourself trying to make it look like you weren't just leaning in for a kiss from him. Gabriel just eyes you and laughs to himself. Great he's an incredibly cute flirt who knows how to push your buttons, you're starting to understand why Miguel keeps him busy in the lab. It's not that he's distracted by us, we would be distracted by him. 
-----
After your first meeting with Gabriel going to his lab to flirt and hang out with him became a common occurrence. Now is flirting on the job acceptable? Not really you knew getting caught would mean some serious Miguel wrath but you justify to yourself that Gabri might just be worth it. 
The more you spent around him the more and more you wanted him, but you were not going to be the one to break first. The two of you seemed to be in an unspoken game, the game? See who can tease the other until they confess their feelings, or break the tension first. He was a tease and proved to be good at the game, but you will be damned to be the one to break first. The tension between you building and building till someone was going to burst. With any luck it would be him, you just need to be patient and play the game to the best of your ability. 
You two were not the only ones to note the sparks between you. People had started noticing the flirting and the stolen glances. Though to save your skin you had to play it off as just harmless fun, though on the inside you were burning with want. 
“You know Miguel won’t like that you're getting so close to his brother,” Jess says as she picks the tomatoes from her burger
“I say keep going, maybe one day you will be his sister-in-law and he will have to see you at family BBQs” Peter chuckles as he steals Jess’s unwanted tomatoes to stack on his burger. 
“Okay, wow, we are not talking about marriage. We are just flirting a little here and there is no harm, no foul.” taking a bite out of the blue and red burger, it's funny you thought that the food coloring would make it taste strange but the 2099 burger was actually decent. 
“All I am saying is be careful flirting so close to trouble, speaking of…” 
Jess trails off as she nudges her head behind you. Turning you see Gabriel approaching, quickly turning you check your teeth to make sure you don't have anything caught. This action causes Jess to roll her eyes and Peter to give you a thumbs up. Turning back around you kick the chair out next to you for Gabriel to sit. 
“Lunch out of the Lab? What's the occasion?” 
Gabriel sits down with a giddy smile “They are serving Birria! So I had to come get some.” Gabriel starts to eat the stew-like soup with glee. You watch Him enjoying his lunch, in a moment of relaxation, you rest your palm in your hand as you just observe him eating. Gabriel turns to you a mouth stuffed with birria, you quickly adjust your stare from him back to your burger. Seeing that you are watching he quickly swallows his food and hits his chest from eating too fast. 
“What did you get?” he looks over to your plate and sees that you are eating the burger with his brother's face, he scrunches his nose at you. When he does you note how this makes him look like his brother but you wouldn't mention that. 
“What's with the face? It's pretty good” You take a bite and chew and Gabriel's face contorts with disgust. 
“Yeah no I’m not going to eat something that looks like my brother” 
“Your loss”
“Here, put that monstrosity down and try some real food” Gabriel takes the spoon away from his lips and fills it with the hot liquid. Grabbing your chin gently with his warm fingers, he turns you to face him, that flirty smirk on his face and he watches you with hooded eyes. 
“Ah~” He teases as he brings the soup to your parted lips. Watching as you take the soup hypnotized by his emerald eyes. Taking the spoon in your mouth tasting the perfectly seasoned liquid, you can't help but blush at the fact you are using the spoon he previously had his mouth on. An indirect kiss is all that floods your brain as Gabriel just watches you, fingers slightly rubbing your soft skin. 
“It's good huh?” His voice purrs staring at your lips
The sound of a clearing throat breaks the tension as you look at Jess, she shakes her head and Peter just smiles as he takes in the moment you two just shared. Feeling your face heat up you quickly avert your gaze back to your unfinished lunch, your sudden bashfulness doesn't seem to faze Gabriel as he swings his arm around your chair and leans closer to you. 
“I could give you more if you want,” his voice whispers to your flushed ear, sending your brain swirling. 
It was a loaded question, he knew it, you knew it, but would you crack? 
Then just as if it could sense the tension Gabriel's watch starts to ring and Layla makes her appearance. 
“Hey Gabri, Miguel says he needs to see you.”  
“Can it wait till I’m done with lunch?”
“He insists it's urgent” 
With that Gabriel sighs and quickly eats his soup, taking the bowl to swallow down the contents. Turning to you he winks “Duty calls, see ya bichita.” 
Quickly darting towards Miguel's office his scarf and large jacket look like a flowing cape as he runs off. Staring, a smile tugging at your lips as you watch him go, but then you feel a set of eyes piercing you, you turn to see an unimpressed-looking Jess and a giggling Peter. 
“What?”
“Girl, you're in trouble” Shaking her head she leaves you at the table and Peter follows behind her laughing. 
-----
The next day you hadn’t seen or heard from Gabriel so it was the perfect excuse to go see him. Walking into his lab you see Gabriel. He seems sweaty like he's been doing strenuous work. The subtle sheen of sweat resting on his face makes your mouth water. Moving around the lab he's picking up what seems to be heavy machinery, this is what must have made him all sweaty not that you're complaining. 
Gabriel tries to lift what seems to be a very large, very heavy piece of equipment, he tries to lift it, even tries pushing but it’s not bugging. Sauntering over you look at his struggle, it strangely excites you watching him, face contorting in frustration, skin glowing from sweat, breath heavy with exhaustion. Wonder if he looks like that during…Taking a deep breath you calm yourself before you approach. 
“Hey Gabri, looks like you're struggling a bit. Let me help you” 
Bending over you go to grab the equipment Gabriel tries to stop you. “Wait it's too-”
Before he can get the last word out you have lifted the equipment over your head holding it with ease. 
“Huh, sometimes I forget you have super strength…” he marvels as you move with the machine with ease. 
“What? I don't have super strength? I'm just that jacked.” You say in sarcasm before You flex your arm to show off your muscles. 
Gabriel laughs, “Must be nice to be able to lift whatever you want.” 
Opening your mouth you go to rebuttal his comment but as you're placing the equipment down you see how Gabriel's face seems to flush from watching you work, he quickly turns to hide his flushed features. This is an interesting development, he's made you nervous about two times now. Maybe it's time we make him nervous…
Walking up behind Gabriel you quickly scoop the taller man from his feet and hold him like a bride, a wide grin painted on your lips as you take in his slight squeal and shocked expression.
“Yeah, it sometimes has its perks like getting to surprise people” You boost with him in your arms. If you didn't have powers you could never lift him. Not always loving being a spider-woman. It's moments like this that make everything worth it. 
“Aw don't worry, I won't drop you” You tease him as he tries to change his expression to fit that of someone who is unfazed, failing miserably he decides to lean into the role of a saved civilian. 
“Oh Spider-woman your my hero” he bats his lashes at you 
“All in a day's work Sir, no big deal” 
“Oh, well I just have to repay you somehow, you know for lifting that heavy machine and lifting me to carry me” You gently put him back on his feet, his tall stature immediately towering over you as you do. 
Craning your head up to meet his eyes you feel his hand brush against your jaw, thumb rubbing your cheek. “How about a kiss Spider-Woman?” Leaning down he is inches from your lips, noses almost touching, those green eyes studying your face. Is this him breaking? Is he going to pull back? Is this real?  
“Can I kiss you Y/N?”
It's real, you can feel your heart thrumming like crazy. This feeling is so intense. 
Your lips part and you start to rise to your tiptoes. Gabriel's other hand finds your soft neck as he leans down. Hands searching for anything to grab, they find a place gripping onto his striped scarf. Finally one of you broke and it’s led to this perfect moment. 
“Gabri, I think we need to relook at the go-home machine, I think if we can program it to work faster we could, oh…” Miguel stops walking and tapping away at his watch when he sees you and Gabriel in such proximity. Face contorting from surprise to confusion, to annoyance. 
Damnit…
Gabriel and you quickly let go of each other and face Miguel. Miguel walks closer to you two, his face in that unhappy glare. 
 “What are you two doing?” he asks placing his hands on hips narrow waist
“I-I-Uh-” you nervously stumble over your words trying to find an excuse. 
“She was helping me out, I needed someone with strength to lift some heavy equipment” pointing to the large machine you have effortlessly moved. 
“Well looks moved, you should head back to your dimension if you're done with your duties today,” Miguel says in a serious tone. 
With a quick nod, you slip past Miguel and look back at Gabriel. Looking back at him he looks like he is bracing for a lecture from Miguel. Feeling guilty because you know those are never fun. Miguel starts tapping his watch, something he does before lectures, you assume to think of what he will say before he says it. Gabriel's eyes land on you, he looks serious preparing for his talking to, then just like a flip of a switch, he gives a mischievous smirk with a wink. 
And with that, you knew you were going to break first. 
 -----
Miguel made sure to keep everyone extremely busy after he saw you and Gabriel together, maybe you were reading too much into it but it seemed to be the only correlation. It had been four days since you saw Gabriel and you were getting antsy. The almost kiss played on a loop over and over in your mind. The sudden distance between you two only made your thoughts of him run rampant. The whole absence makes the heart grow fonder thing was right. Not seeing Gabriel for four days made you realize how much you enjoyed being near him and how desperate you were to kiss him finally. You two had teased each other and flirted enough, it was now time to do something about it. 
As you wind and twist your way through the maze you make your way closer to Gabriel's lab, you didn't know what you would say or do once you saw him you just knew you had an uncontrollable urge, a desire to be near him and you couldn't wait anymore. 
Finally getting through the maze of a lab you reach your goal, Gabriel.
Gabriel sees you enter the lab, giving you a sweet smile and putting down the small apparatus he was tinkering with. 
“Well if it isn’t Spider-Woman, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Gabriel strides over to you still insistent on teasing you like always. Danm, He gets cuter every damn time you see him. That cocky strut is like he knows why you're here like he knows how bad you have it for him. Hating to lose the game but you're going to burst if you don't, just swallow your pride, tell him…
“My w-watch, it's acting weird.” you quickly stumble out. Okay, what the fuck? That's not the plan? What the hell is the matter with you?
Looking at you with concern Gabriel grabs your hand lifting your arm to examine the watch. 
“Well, that's not good bichita. Step into my office, let's see if I can't help you out.” 
Guiding you through the lab he takes you to his work table. Swiftly he grabs your hips and lifts you on the table. A small Squeak leaves you for a moment, you're here to confess and he's still making you nervous, danm…
He takes his time examining your watch. Nesting himself between your legs making your breath get shaky. He then raises his eyebrows in concern and shock. 
“Oh wow this isn’t good, it's really messed up…”
“What really?” You look down in surprise. 
Gabriel taps his index finger on your nose making you look back up to him. “No, it’s perfectly fine, now why are you really here?”
Taking your arm back you adjust your watch on your wrist looking at him irritatedly. “Don’t scare me like that…” 
“Well don’t lie to me, what’s up? You don’t need a reason to come see me, you should know that?” 
Starting to chew on your bottom lip you look at him and nod. “I know, I just…the thing is…I hate losing.”
Lifting an eyebrow confused he pry for you to elaborate. “Okay? What did you lose?”
Holding your head down you sigh and point between the two of you. “This I lose the game, which sucks because I almost won if it wasn’t for-” 
Before you can finish your sentence Gabriel's hands gently grab your face and lifts it to meet his emerald eyes, then his soft lips are meeting yours. The kiss was tender and passionate, his large hands carefully gliding down from your face. The slow movement of his fingers leaves a heated trail on your skin. Finally, his hands met yours, intertwined his fingers with yours holding your hands tightly, as if he didnt you would disappear. With a swift gradation of intensity, the kiss from his instant lips has yours parting making your body quake as you begin to feel the slight teasing of his tongue to yours.
Pulling back he's the first to relinquish the kiss looking into your kissed-hazed eyes. “I lose…this stupid little game between us, I lose, you win.” 
Grabbing onto his scarf you bring him closer so you're whispering into his lips. “You're not going to be a sore loser right?”
He laughs slightly “I will gladly lose to you whenever you want” 
With that you pull him into a passionate kiss, quickly heating to a blazing fever that has you both instantly stripping each other trying to cool the raging fire between you. 
Before you know it you're bent over his work table, bare for his taking. Warm lips kiss up your spine while his index finger explores your soft folds, finding you already desperately wet. 
“Wow, I don’t even need to prep you, so fuckin’ wet for me,” Gabriel says, his finger still rubbing through you teasing at the opening of your slit. 
Moaning and leaning into his finger you're desperate for him but he's insistent on still teasing you. Slowly he begins to plunge his finger into your walls and the sweet stretch has you rocking back and forth only to get worse once he slips a second in curling into you. 
“Amas mis manos, ¿verdad?” (You love my hands don't you?)
Nodding you are willing to agree with anything he says as long as it means more. A chuckle leaves his lips and he takes his other hand and starts rubbing tight circles on your clit, slightly pinching the bud to make your hips jump forward. You can't help the embarrassing moans that escaped your lips but Gabriel just relishes in them.  “That's it, gemido por papi.” (Moan for Papi)
You're approaching your orgasm quickly just from riding his skillful hands. Uncontrollably you're squirming underneath him, thighs closing and tightening around his arm. Gabriel nudges your feet further apart with his foot spreading you open and plunging deeper till you're practically panting as he continues curling into you and abusing your swollen clit. “No, no, stay spread for me, can't make you cum with you getting shy like that” he purrs into your ear. 
Your moans are reverberating through the lab, it is music to his ears getting to hear you approach your high. “God, bichita I've been wanting to do this to you for weeks, I didn't imagine you would be so loud though. Aw, don't hold it in now, I want to hear you scream my name.” 
The new pace as you lean further on the table as you clench down on his fingers screaming out his name as your orgasm flows over you, your juices coating his digits, some of it falling onto his floor. Gabriel finally pulls his fingers from you looking at your quivering pussy as you shake from your orgasm, tilting his head he watches as your juices drip to the floor, he lazily sucks the slick from his fingers releasing them with a pop. 
“Danm, you're making a mess on my floor.” Before you can turn you feel a hand caressing your ass and his breath fanning your ear “Let's make a bigger mess shall we?” 
You feel his hand grab onto your hip and rub small circles, then you feel him pushing against you, foot kicking yours to spread open again, he's going to have to break you of that habit. Then his cock is rubbing against your wet folds, and you're instantly ready to go again, breathing quickening in anticipation.  Carefully his tip teases your entrance before slipping into you spreading you open with a moan escaping your lips. Starting slowly he kisses your shoulders as he slowly pistons his cock, loving to see your pussy gripping onto his cock. The soft pleading of your moans and mewling of his name is making him throb inside you, like a siren song to fuck into you harder. 
Answering your sinful song he grabs a handful of your hair before his thrusting into you harder and faster. 
“Harder, Ha-Harder!” you cry chasing his cock with your hips. 
“Harder? Oh, dirty girl, you're already gripping me so tight and you want it harder? ” His hand presses down on your back stilling you as he fucks harder into your squealing cunt. Hiccuping and slurring you're getting drunk from the pace he's pushing into you. Sweat is forming on him as his chest starts to burn, taking his hand from your hair he lifts your leg to where your knee is on the table, pushing himself deeper where his tip is nudging that sweet spot that has you clamping around his cock. 
Approaching your second orgasm he takes his hand and rubs those same tight circles on your clit. Finally, you're coming undone on his cock, squirting on him. Gabriel lets you ride out your high as long as he can before he's about to bust inside of you, finally when you're wiggling and whining in overstimulation he's pulling out and cumming his thick cum on your ass. Gasping from the sudden emptiness, your skin tingles as you feel the warm liquid run down your leg. 
Gabriel is quick to leave a barrage of kisses on your back. He quickly grabs a clean rag and wipes the cum dripping down your leg off you coo sweetly to you. Turning to face him, your chest fills warm from his tired-looking expression, you're quick to wrap your hands around him and kiss him sweetly. Gabriel surrenders to your gentle kiss, but slowly you become more ravenous taking the lead, your tongue eager to push through to taste him again.      
Breaking the kiss to catch his breath he looks into your eyes, and all his confidence wavers as he sees the hunger in your eyes. You're already ready for the next round and he's still recovering. Using your hand you push his chest gently backing him onto the table. A sweet smile on your lips as you watch him lean against the table watching you with bated breath. Before he can even try to make a move or say something he is lifted and pinned on top of his disheveled work table. The surprised look on his face has you licking your lips as you crawl on top of him. 
You look as if you could devour him, he can't help how it's making his cock hard again. A smirk falls onto your lips as you see his excitement. Straddling him you start to lazily pump his cock making his hips buckle and he moans from the overstimulation. 
“Spidey powers means I have crazy endurance and quick recovery time. Can you keep up?” You start to pump his cock faster making him moan and the precum to pebble from his cock. 
Gabriel hiccups and hastily nods, he would do whatever you wanted of him. 
Leaning down you lick the secretion off his tip making him whimper and throw his head back.  
“Good…” you purr.
-----
Completely spent you lay your tired body next to Gaberials. Your head resting on his warm chest, you could hear how his heart was still racing. Your stamina being higher than his, he had worked double time to satisfy you. Watch beeping, Gabriel lazily looks and sighs seeing that it is time for another one of the dull meetings. 
“We have a meeting to go to” 
Looking at him you think for a moment then a sly smile crosses your lips
“Well, that's no fun” 
“No, it's not” 
“Want to go take a shower in my dimension instead?”
A gasp leaves his lips “And skip our very important and completely not irrelevant meeting instead?”  
Biting your lip holding in a laugh you nod enthusiastically. 
Gabriel kisses your nose “Let me grab my clothes.” 
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littlebigmouse · 10 months
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The utter tragedy that is Gwen Stacy.
Like all spider people, she has to figure it out by herself. An endless slew of villains and only one teenage girl against them. An endless slew of villains and one of them turns out to be her best friend.
Peter Parker was bullied until he couldn't take it any more, and decided to fight back. She must not have noticed him cracking, breaking. He knew her secret the entire time, was there for her the entire time, and she didn't even realize his true identity until he was already burried under scaffolding and rubble.
"I just wanted to be special, like you." She's a wanted criminal now. She's always alone. She's hiding increasingly bigger and bigger parts of herself from her father, who loves and supports her and tells her he's going to lock her up as a means to comfort her.
And then he tries to. And she takes the mask off and he keeps trying. Gwen Stacy held at gun point by the last and only loved one she has in the world.
A freak accident happens and she winds up in a place where a Spiderperson has it all figured out and is a well respected member of their community. A place where her best friend is alive and well and special right up until she sees his corpse plastered on news reports all over a foreign city. And there are other Spider people. Other Peter Parkers, all haunting her with never-ending "What could have beens". Gwen isn't alone any more until she is, two days later and with no means to ever see the one tentative friend she may have made, ever again.
A year passed and he might have just moved on from her, anyway.
Gwen Stacy meets a Spiderwoman who is cool and capable and doesn't let love drag her down, but she still gained happiness, somewhere out there. Jessica Drew is a flicker of hope for Gwen that there might be happiness waiting for her, for a Spiderperson that isn't Peter Parker.
Except of course, Jess seems to barely tolerate her. The rescue, safety, is conditional. If Gwen falters, if Gwen isn't good enough, if Gwen slips up even once, she will prove herself a liability, will be send back into isolation, a hopeless situation, home. Will disappoint a person she's trying so hard to impress and connect with.
Spider society is still haunted by the countless ghosts of her best friend. Because every Peter Parker became a hero except hers. Every Peter Parker is fundamentally a good person who wants to save people, every Spiderperson is a good person who wants to save people, except her Peter and this Gwen, who has his blood on her hands. Notice how Gwen and Peter B barely talk, never have a real emotional conversation with each other. They treat each other as equals, and they do care about each other, but they can't shake off the ghosts haunting each other's faces.
Gwen tells Miles "in every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls for Spiderman." People don't soften their blows for Gwen. How did she find out about all the dead Gwen Stacys? She spend several months dimension hopping on missions, did she witness a Peter Parker fail to save his best friend? Is that a "canon event" for Peter Parker? For Spiderman?
Maybe Gwen and Peter can't coexist in the same universe without one of them dying tragically young. Maybe Gwen was never supposed to be Spiderwoman, stole the spot from Peter Parker, robbed him of his life, and her universe hates her for it now. One more anomaly for Miguel to catch later, once he finds out.
Maybe Gwen is the one who got away, she one Gwen who's supposed to have got it good, who made it, will live to see 30. The one Gwen to survive and she's alone, unloved, teetering on the edge. The Gwen that is special and thus shares her fate with all the spider people - will either watch her father die or watch him lock her up or even shoot her on sight. Which is worse? Miles asks Gwen whether that's it, and she just says "Yeah". She gets to chose between the rock and the hard place. Maybe she doesn't have a choice. Gwen Stacy either dies or watches everyone else die. Does it matter, which is written into the fabric of the universe and which is a fluke?
Gwen tries to play by the rules, can't risk messing up again for Jess, can't risk losing Miles, can't risk losing one more friend. One more friend because she can't help but get attached to people, can't help but fall in love with a Spiderman, like all the other doomed Gwens in other universes. But Miles is so fundamentally good he's burried under scaffolding and rubble, curled around a little kid he's saved. Gwen almost watches her best friend die a second time, willing to watch a few civilians die instead. She's been on the other side of that equation and the regret is tearing her apart, the other way around must be better, right?
Would Gwen do it again, knowing who was hidden beneath the scales? Would she sacrifice his bully, her classmates? A little kid and a police captain? Her police captain?
The tragedy of the classic trolley problem is that someone always dies anyway, no matter whether you pull the lever.
Gwen has alltogehter pulled way too many levers.
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spiderymiasma · 10 months
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🕸 The Chase 🕸 || Miguel x f!Spider
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Summary: She was the perfect prey. And he was a natural predator. And Miguel's getting sick of her games...
Words: 2.9k
A/N: Please let me know if I use Spanish incorrect. I"m not a native speaker and appreciate any feedback!
|| My AO3 ||
Like most other days, today quickly started turning to shit for Miguel O'Hara.  Lego Spiderman, one of his best, was recently admitted to the MedBay for Lego related injuries (not funny Lyla).  Morales and his gang of hooligans had botched yet another simple mission.  Peter B. was giving him lip and wouldn't stop droning on about Mayday.  And Hobie…?
Ugh, Miguel didn't even want to think about Hobie. 
And worst yet, his own body was driving him crazy.  His fangs ached so terribly.  The gums around them reddened and tender.  His head was fuzzy, and every fiber in his muscles ached, begging to be let free. 
"I see you're still working well into the early hours of the morning." A soft feminine voice remarked from the shadows.  A lithe Spiderwoman walked up in front of the numerous monitors and screens in front of him. 
Miguel grunted.  Without any windows in headquarters, he hadn't even noticed the hours passing by.  "Hard not to when you have Miles Morales fucking everything up around here."
The Spiderwoman rolled her eyes in fond exasperation.  It was obvious even to those who weren't close with Miguel, that he was starting to lose control of himself.  He'd be driving everyone crazy for nearly a week.  Snapping at the smallest insult, berating the poor new recruit, and worst of all (in Peter B's opinion) refusing to look at the newest reels of Mayday's baby pictures.
In her opinion, Miguel needed to get control of his attitude.  And she knew just the fix.
"Miguel, you are too hard on that poor Morales kid.  He tries his best and means well."
"Yeah?  Well he screws up every single operation I send him out on."  Miguel soldiered on, continue to bury himself in his charts, figures, and a figurative stack of reports. 
The Spiderwoman hummed.  As one of the first ones to be recruited by Miguel into their "Spider society", she's seen Miguel transform from headstrong "One and only" Spiderman to the supreme leader of an elite and deadly Spider Society.  Though it was always hard to tell what that man was thinking, she hoped that he would consider her a friend.
She always hoped that he was never too peeved whenever she called him out on his bullshit. 
"You seem more stressed than usual."  Before Miguel could interrupt her to claim otherwise, she finished.  "How can I help?"
Miguel momentarily paused in his work.  Their eyes connecting for the briefest moments through the transparent screens that separated them.  He faint stress lines on his forehead made the poor man appear older than he deserved.  Several strands stuck out from his perfectly gelled hair, no doubt from the numerous times he ran his fingers through his hair.  It seemed, at least from her view, that he had so much he wanted to say.  Or maybe, it was her heart that yearned for Miguel to finally say what he had been holding back for so long.  His shoulders softened at her smile. 
"Nah, you've done enough work this week."  He averted his eyes away from hers.  "Go get some rest before you get too cranky for tomorrow's meeting."
The corners of her lips dipped down in frustration.  She didn't need Spidey-senses to be able to tell how the waves of stress rolled off of his tight shoulders in waves.
"How about you and I do a training session together tomorrow?"  She asked suddenly.  "It's been a while since you got out of your tall pedestal." 
His fingers paused in their typing as if he was actually considering it for a moment.  The itch under his skin begging to be addressed.
They quickly resumed their work.  Miguel let out a frustrated sigh.  "I just told you that I'm up to my ears in work.  And besides, if it weren't for that Morales kid-"
"I know, I know."  She placated.  "I know you find it hard to believe, but I do listen to what you tell me."
Miguel scoffed, clearly not believing her.
"Well, I think you could use some training tomorrow.  When's the last time you got some fresh air?  Really let those…instincts run while."
They looked at each other in the eyes again, this time without the blue-green screens separating them.
Besides Lyla, she was one of the few Spiderpeople to understand how badly the spider DNA affected Miguel.  She herself was bitten by a particularly nasty spider and often appeared more animal than human.  Miguel tried to pretend otherwise, using temporarily serums and DNA injections to stave off the worst of the symptoms but….
…it was hard hiding that part of himself from someone like her.
Their "training" wasn't…traditional.  It was very private, very secret affair that they told no one with the sole exception of Lyla who was bond by code to secrecy.  Miguel really doubted what they did together to be counted as training at all.  But Miguel and her…were…uniquely biologically disposed in similar enough ways that they could find solace in each other and bond over their more animalistic sides.
Still, didn't make it any less awkward to explain to outsiders.
He was the one to break eye contact first.  Looking away, he again pretended to busy himself with silly work. 
"Can't."  He grunted.  "Like I said, I’m busy."
He couldn't help but notice how her eyes gleamed mischievously.  "Some other time then,"  With a small wave of her hand, she disappeared into the darkness, and Miguel naively thought that they could put the conversation to rest.
🕸 ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩🕸
Like most nights, Miguel somehow managed to squeeze in a couple hours of rather fitful sleep.   Sleep was just as difficult as any battle for him.  Between He padded to his workstation ready to start a whole new laundry list of tasks.
"Lyla, what's the docket looking like this morning."  He asked sleepily, rubbing his face with his large palm, careful to not let his claws pierce his eyes.
Only silence responded.
"Lyla?  C'mon I don't have time for your games."
His voice echoed ominously across the empty room. 
Slowly dragging his palm down his face, he finally looked up his screens.
Their automatic sensors were off.  The backlights dim, and all of his work had been completely reshuffled. 
Someone had been here.  Funny enough, he had a pretty good guess as to who.  Amidst all the tedious paperwork, there was an old-fashioned sticky note attached to his desk.
"Heya Mig, hope you slept well.  If you would like Lyla to be up and running again, come and find me for some sparring practice!
-EARTH 45690"
Miguel swore underneath his breath in colorful Spanish.  She knew he hated that nickname.  His fangs were so sore in his gums.  His thoughts felt clouded by a thick fog and moved sluggishly.  He could feel the rush of biological chemicals running through his veins.  He did not have time for this bullshit.
Punching the written number into his watch, he walked through the open portal into whatever dimension she summoned him to.  The sooner he get this over with, the sooner he could go back to work.
🕸 ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩🕸
Instantly, he was met with a blast of humid heat that did not feel good against his feverish skin.  Blinking at the stark sunlight, he took stock of his surroundings.  Gigantic prehistoric palm levels, staggering cliffs, and dragonflies the size of German Shepherds.
Great.  Prehistoric New York.  Spider Rex's Earth.  Why on earth would she bring him here?
"Hello Miguel!"
Miguel's neck craned upwards.  The offending spider woman was resting in a cozy little hammock made out of spider webbing as if she had all the time in the word.
She was getting on his nerves.
"I don't have time to play games with you."  He shouted from the ground, hoping she could hear him.  "Get rid of whatever virus you gave Lyla this time, so we can get back to schedule."
She frowned, staring at him from above.  "Hm…wellllll I do have this handy dandy UBS, but I'm afraid you'll have to catch me first to use it."
She hadn't even finished her grand speech before Miguel was already climbing up the rock giving chase.  His talons sunk into the sides of the cliff, tearing apart the earth beneath him every time he climbed forward.
Reaching desperately, he clawed at the UBS drive in her fingers.  Her wrist snapped back.  The thumb drive mere inches away from his reach.  He growled dangerously.  His patience waning. 
Her face split into a grin underneath her mask. 
"You thought it was going to be that easy?"  She teased.  She got up from her homemade hammock.  She made a big show of stretching her loose limbs.  She was calm as if she were a woman warming up before a Pilates class instead of a Spiderwoman about to be hunted down by her very, very pissed boss. 
"Give.  Me.  The. Stick."  Miguel's growled, his tone dangerous. 
"Only if you catch me."  She sang.
Before Miguel could react, she was gone, using the overgrown palm trees above them to sling away. 
He chased after her. 
They did this quite often.  They would meet each other in a throwaway universe, they would spar, Miguel would hunt her down, and they would go back to their lives as normal.  If someone like Peter B were to find out about this "training" of theirs, they would call it flirting. But her and Miguel knew better.  People whose DNAs were laced with spider DNA….there was a part of themselves they tried to suppress, try to hide for the betterment of spider society.
This was one rare moments where they could let out this side of them.
She zipped and zagged through the thick foliage, like an acrobat weaving through fabric.  She danced with the practiced experience of a superhero well-versed in her art.  Miguel was just as deadly, breaking through the heavy trees, leaving a trail of broken twigs and disturbed underbrush in his way.  In his crazed frenzy, he wrecked havoc on the peaceful forest.
The only warning she got was the glint of slitted amber eyes in darkness, before a weight slammed into her in a frenzied blur.  She blocked his arm with one hand.  The other held the prized UBS stick out of Miguel's reach tauntingly.
They sparred for a while, well-practiced in each other's movements and attacks.  Sometimes she would land a well-placed clever blow on him, and other times his claws would come dangerously close to the UBS.  Finally, he managed to pin her lithe form into the forest ground.  Miguel's lips turned up into a snarl that showed off his pointed incisors.
She couldn't help but whimper.
His bulking, threatening form was pressed on top of hers.  With his body so close against her, he could smell her sweet and alluring scent, making something inside him purr with need. Honeysuckle, soft cotton, and the lavender shampoo she always used.
He did his best to ignore it.  This was sparring.  Nothing more.  It would never be anything more.  Don't be creepy to your female subordinate.
"You make this too easy."  He growled.  "Don't lose your edge so fast."
She panted, trying to even her respiratory rate.  His clawed hands were so warm, pressing her arms down onto the ground.  He radiated body heat.  His pinpoint pupils stared her down, pinning her in place.  The moment their gazes met, she couldn't look away, captured by those glowing eyes.
No, no, stop.  Don't go there.  He was her coworker.  Her boss.  Her boss with enough emotional baggage to rival any other Spiderperson.  This…training they had between them was for professional use only.  A way to get the edge off.  Like yoga, or boxing.  No romance involved.
Her spider instincts said otherwise.  It took everything in her to ignore her body that was screaming to get as close to Miguel as possible.
Her voice was raspy with need.  "Don't worry, Miguel, I have still have a few tricks up my sleeve."
And with a flick of her wrist, her web trap sprang to life.  Without any Spidey senses, intricate sticky web ensnared Miguel in place.  She deftly rolled out of his grasp, free again to gloat at another tiny victory.  She hovered closely, the eyes on her mask innocent and curious as she observed him.
He growled.  His muscles straining against the restraints.  "Oh you'll pay for that one, chica." 
She tried to hide her giggles behind her hands.
With a quick flex of biceps, the spiderwebs ripped apart.  His bulging muscles and claws easily shredding through her webbing like paper.  Though he was only caught for a few seconds, it was enough of an opening for her to slip away.  Miguel sprung to life lunging after her with clawed hands.
She dodged easily, already slinging away.
He huffed.  Infuriating woman.  He chased after her retreating form.  His blood was pumping hot in his veins.  "You know, this is only eating away at the time I have available for all my stupid paperwork."  His voice lacked any real heat behind his words.  He tried to swipe at her with his talons, only to find her just out of arms reach.
She languidly dogged his arm as she swung on her webbing.  "Hmmm. Your work?  I did it for you already last night."
Miguel's heart skipped a beat.  He almost lost his footing.  "Y-you…you did?"
She twisted her body back to face him as she swung backwards with ease.  "I did most of the stuff I could do without your explicit approval, with Lyla's help of course."  Miguel managed to grab onto her ankle.  She broke through his grasp with well-practiced dexterity.  "Everything else on your desk is just waiting for your signature."
She didn't have to do his busywork.  In fact, Miguel highly discouraged it.  She was far more useful in the field.  Her competency shouldn't be wasted on tasks that were benefit her.  Still, it didn't stop the warmth blooming in his chest.
They flew through the air, going through the motions of this well-practiced dance they had between them.  Perhaps it was accidental or more likely it was on purpose, but eventually her pace faltered as she momentarily lost her balance running from Miguel. 
It was enough for Miguel. 
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he finally caught her.  He slammed her roughly against the nearest rockwall, perhaps too roughly for anyone else that wasn't a Spider.  The forceful impact cracking the wall behind her.  It shuddered as rubble fell on top of the both of them.  Using his back, Miguel shielded from from most of the debris. 
He removed his mask from his face, starved for as much oxygen as he could get.
"Parece que finalmente gané (Look's like I finally won)."  His voice was rough with exertion.
Pulling off her own mask She gasped for air.  Her hair, sticky with sweat, clung to her face and eyelashes.  Her eyes were blown wide from a mixture of adrenaline and exertion.  She jutted out her chin arrogantly, or maybe invitingly.  "Are you here to collect your prize?" 
With a grin on Miguel's handsome face and darkened eyes, he pinned her arms above her, trapping her against the wall.  There was no doubt in his mind, that if she truly did not want this, she could easily break free from his grasp.  There was a flash of sharp fangs as Miguel loomed over her possessively.  Adrenaline pumping through his veins, minds pulsating with animalistic need, he leaned down to kiss her.  The prized UBS drive now entirely forgotten. 
His lips were so soft and contrasted so nicely against the hard contours of the rest of his body.  She eagerly melted into the kiss, wrapping her legs around Miguel's waist to get closer to him.  He smelled of sweat, musk, and sandalwood.  She struggled not to get drunk off of his scent.   Clawed fingers carefully reached up to cup her face, caressing it so gently. 
His sharp canines accidentally nicked her bottom lip.  Before he could pull away and apologize, she whimpered with need, her tongue darted out, licking at the broken skin.  She looked wild, entirely animalistic, giving into her most base urges.  Miguel was sure he looked the exact same. 
Miguel's fangs latched onto the soft skin of her neck, piercing.  She keened, basking in the pleasure.  Miguel had enough restraint to at least hold back from injecting her with paralytic venom but as her hands roamed over his pectorals greedily, it was getting harder and harder to stop himself from claiming her.
"Miguel, please."  She begged against his skin.  Her throat already bruising with love marks, there was two obvious puncture wounds left by Miguel.
The rational, stressed side of him froze at the sight of her.  She looked like she'd been attacked by…some monster.  What on earth was he thinking?  This was his subordinate, someone he respected.  Someone who sat right next to him during boring conference meetings.  This was wildly inappropriate.  Trapping her and just having his way with her.
He pulled back almost scalded.  He can't believe he let it get this far. 
Seeing his reluctance, she fisted his spidersuit pulling him closer to her.  An animalistic growl came from her throat. Her red eyes were dilated with need.  "Don't you dare fucking stop, Miguel O'Hara."
"Mierda."  What little restrain he had snapped, as he lunged forward to consume her.
Later…much later…he'd ask her again if she would like to spar with him again sometime soon. 
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whitestopper · 7 months
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Bisexual media
Note: This should not be taken as a declaration of quality or my personal likings - I haven’t read most of the books that are listed nor have I fully watched three of the series listed. Not all of the fictional series focus on a bi protagonist but all do have at least one bi main character; a summary of main initial plot is provided. I will edit this post with updates intermittently.
TV Series
The Bisexual (2018) - Leila explores her attraction to men after identifying as a lesbian alongside her girlfriend and friends for the past decade, while her new roommate tries to get a grip on his relationship with a younger woman.
Black Mirror’s San Junipero - Yorkie meets Kelly in the strange setting of San Junipero. What’s the deal with this place, and what can make them stay?
Bob and Rose - Bob is gay. Rose has a boyfriend. Can I make it any more obvious? (I can - they find that they’re attracted to each other and deal with the implications and expectations of that.)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - Rebecca pursues her ex-boyfriend in the hopes of finding happiness. With a drastic move to West Covina, will she learn what happy feels like?
Cucumber - Henry’s life is upturned in one evening, then another, and then some more, while boyfriend Lance and new acquaintance Freddie come to terms with the present and the past.
Everything Now - Newly out of recovery from anorexia, Y11 student Mia is determined to complete her bucket list and be seen as normal.
Feel Good - Mae and Charlotte navigate a relationship challenged by Mae's drug addiction and Charlotte's new sexual discovery.
High Fidelity - Young record store owner Rob revisits her past relationships in order to sort out her singledom.
Kieta Hatsukoi - Aoki lies about having feelings for classmate Ida to protect the feelings of his crush Hashimoto. But misunderstandings and revelations cause a hullabaloo.
Torchwood - this Doctor Who spin-off features a collection of characters solving alien crimes.
Movies
Appropriate Behaviour - Brooklyn dweller Shirin deals with her ex-girlfriend, family expectations, job struggles and more.
City of Lost Souls - a German musical exploring the experiences of LGBT people, black people, Jewish people and immigrants in post-WW2 Berlin.
Disobedience - Ronit returns to her old Orthodox Jewish community after her father passes away, having been shunned for not adhering to cultural expectations.
Shiva Baby - While at a Jewish funeral service with her family and community, college student Danielle navigates an awkward situation with her sugar daddy and her ex-girlfriend.
Non-fiction books
Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out
Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution
Bi: The Hidden Culture, History and Science of Bisexuality
The Bi-ble Volumes 1 and 2
Claiming the B in LGBT - Illuminating the Bisexual Narrative
Go the Way Your Blood Beats - On Truth, Bisexuality and Desire
A History of Bisexuality
Purple Prose - Bisexuality in Britain
Music
Alicia Champion - Bi
Ana Carolina - Homens e Mulheres
Ani DiFranco- In or Out
Anne Marie - Perfect to Me
Bali Bandits - Girls & Boys
Book Of Love - Pretty Boys and Pretty Girls
Cariño - Bisexual
Christina Aguilera - Not Myself Tonight
Delli Boe - Bisexual Problems, Bisexual Problems 2
Domo Wilson - Becoming Myself, Bi Pride, Bisexual Anthem
Halsey - Bad At Love
HOUSE OF SAY - Boys Girls
Jão - Meninos e Meninas
Jessie Paege, Lucy & La Mer - Not a Phase
King Kitty - Bisexual
MIKA - Billy Brown, Blame It On The Girls
Miley Cyrus - Midnight Sky, She's Not Him
Missy Higgins - Scar
Mitski - Cop Car
Peaches - I U She,
Peter Allen - Bi-Coastal
Poppy - Girls In Bikinis
Torrey Mercer - Boys / Girls
Ysa Ferrer - To bi or not to bi
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