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i-drop-level-one-loot · 20 days

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hii I JUST LOVE YOUR WORK i stay and read them every day tbh, it's my first time requesting so I'm a lil nervous (also english isn't my first language so if i write too tangled things don't mind please) yandere disease has been corrupting my mind lately like this disease has taken over the world and now people are divided in two types: yanderes and darlings. Every darling is forced to stay with their yanderes by their parents and government when they turn 20 , like goverment has been taking care of yanderes too much, there's territories and special occasions where yanderes can meet darlings, if darling tries to escape people are just gonna drag them to their "soulmate" otherwise they think darling are too weak and fragile to protect themselves.

If you're too busy, just ignore this. I also know how hard it is to write. Hope you're doing good💗💗

Your English is perfect ❤️ better than some native speakers' ❤️ I'm sorry this took so long, I hope you enjoy!!

Yandere!Fiance x GN!Reader

There were conspiracy theories as to how it happened.

Populations around the globe had declined dramatically, worrying nearly every country in every continent. The most popular theory online was that to combat the rapidly declining birth rate, one (or more) of the suffering countries conspired to create a new kind of biological warfare; an illness directed at their own people to foster relations. Unfortunately, while half of people were naturally immune to the attack, the other half were affected too much.

It was just a theory. Nothing could be proved. No government wanted to get to the bottom of the "attack" because their economies were booming; who would want to rid people of an illness that drove the rate of divorce to an all time low? It didn't matter if there were a few hiccups along the way.. As long as people were pushing out more babies, governments across the planet were more than happy to just create new laws to keep the death rates minimal ensure happiness amongst couples.

(Reader) prayed on their knees like fanatic, begging any God that may be listening, for years that they could be one of the Lovers instead of a Darling. They were terrified of the idea of becoming someone's Darling; becoming a prisoner to a loving murderer. No matter how perfect each family unit seemed to be, the young adult could see it in their father's eyes, the longing for the outside world, away from their mother. The suffocating love their mother drowned him in; the almost unnoticeable quiver to his smile.. (Reader) wished upon every single star in the sky that they could fall madly in love with someone, just so they didn't have to live through the rose tinted hell their father did.

But every crush they had was normal, none of the guys they thought were cute in highschool awakened some kind instinct in them. Eventually (Reader) turned 19 years old, and found out that they were engaged.

"To who??" (Reader) nearly barfed onto the dinner table. Their parents sat across from them, smiling happily from the good news they had just delivered to their child.

"He went to the same elementary school as you! Isn't that romantic?" Their mother cooed, poking her husband while doing so. "Apparently he's known since forever that you two are soul mates, but he's been too shy until recently to approach the Family Planning Bureau about his feelings~"

(Reader) gripped their thighs under the table while their eyes stung from the blossoming tears. ".. Do I have to meet him?" They asked quietly.

Although the building was painted bright blue and was surrounded by a beautiful, flowery landscape, it felt like a prison with it's tall chain link fencing.

The sorrowful expression on their father's sympathetic face burned into their retina so painfully, that every time they blinked while on the bus to their first meeting with their "fiance" they could still see it. He knew just as well as (Reader) did that there was no escape.

Even the walk towards a private meeting room past other Darlings felt like a death march. (Reader) could only hope that the "electric chair" wouldn't be too painful.

The kind guard opened a door, and a young man they did not recognize sitting inside immediately stood up, his face bright red.

His freckled and bespectacled face was almost hidden by his wavy, unbrushed hair. A smile stretched sweetly across his round cheeks, and (Reader) noticed that his blush went down his neck. "Ah- (Reader)! It's nice to- it's nice to meet you!"

It didn't matter that he was incredibly adorable: (Reader) was determined not to let their guard down.

"You said we went to elementary school together?"

"Yes-"

"-I'm sorry, but I don't remember you." They interrupted him, curt and to the point.

Instead of looking offended, his eyes softened and his smile became (somehow) warmer. "I'm sorry." He motioned to a seat near the table he was just sitting at. "I can explain everything.. if you give me a chance."

Reluctantly, (Reader) sat across from him. It was hard to deny that he was attractive, really being their ideal man, but they continuously bit the inside of their cheek to prevent themselves from feeling any sort of positive emotion. They knew better than to fall into this trap.

"My name is Anthony." His freckles almost disappeared entirely under his blush. "I'm sorry I never had the confidence to approach you.."

"Huh?" The confused teen forgot to hold their tongue. "Isn't it, like, frowned upon to talk to your Darling before registering with the bureau?"

Anthony rubbed his hands together nervously. "I - I really didn't want you to meet me this way.." He sucked in air between his teeth, looking faint. "I.. Do you believe in true love?"

A pang shot through (Reader's) heart. They remembered every time they would chase a crush, yearning for something true and genuine. Reading love stories from the days before the bureau, and wondering if that was what love was really like once upon a time. "No."

He sighed sadly. "I believe.. or at least, I want to believe in true love." Anthony sat straighter, staring into (Reader's) eyes with a shaky confidence. "I should have asked you out when I first met you in the fifth grade. I'm sorry I was too nervous to talk to you back then."

Vibrating adrenaline shook their system as they tried to make sense of what this stranger was saying.

"I wanted to ask you out, and take you on dates, and get to know you like in the old days."

"Why didn't you?"

His head fell slightly, obscuring his face entirely. "I thought that my feelings for you weren't strong enough.."

(Reader) suddenly felt as though they were connected with Anthony on a spiritual level; as though he was the only person in the whole world to understand them. The need for love, conflicting with the fear of not being a Lover, being destined to be labeled as a Darling. "Are you.." (Reader) dropped their voice to a whisper, "are you a lover?"

Sorrow filled Anthony's figure. Shoulders slumped, and back shuddering under his uneven, heavy breaths. "Would you report me if I wasn't?"

It was as if God had finally answered (Reader's) prayers. Their heart was racing; their head felt lighter than a cloud. Stuttering over their words, the young adult had to avert their gaze. "I don't remember you.. but I wouldn't mind getting to know you." Even though they didn't love him, Anthony felt like their one and only chance to fall in love naturally. To not be trapped like their father.

"Then.. I can see you again?"

(Reader) smiled. "Yeah.."

....

The second (Reader) left the room, Anthony's head hit the table with a loud bang.

It felt like he was going to vomit with how excited he was, and he couldn't contain his giggles any longer. Being in the same room as his childhood love was almost too much for him, and he almost ruined everything.

Anthony had worked so hard to make (Reader) love him.

He knew they liked shy, nerdy types, so he morphed into that. Destroying his eye sight so he could wear glasses, growing out his hair so he could always look slightly dishevelled, biting his tongue until it bled to force himself to stay in character.

Tears pooled around his nose on the table. He was smarter than the Lovers that made his precious (Reader) scared to be a Darling.

"I'm so happy..~" Anthony sobbed loudly in the empty room. "Please fall in love with me quickly~ Although, I don't mind waiting on you forever.. I want you to love me now..!"

#yandere #yandere x reader #gn reader #thank you for interacting with me #sorry it took so long #yandere fiance #yandere oc #cw manipulation

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traumacatholic · 2 months

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I recently got engaged to the love of my life. We are both still very young, but currently there is a possibility they may have cancer. we cannot currently make an appointment with the hospital because its the weekend, and moreover if we can get an appointment it may be months away. Im terrified beyond belief. My fiancé even more so.

I truly do not know what to do. I'm someone who has been blessed in life in that I have never lost someone close to me. My fiancé pulled me out of the worst time in my life when I met them. My connection to God has never been strong despite my family being catholic. I don't even really know how to pray. We have so many plans for the future, to be married and raise a family together. To try and put a little good back into the world. To grow old together.

I am at a loss. Any prayer you can offer would mean so much to me. I would do anything for my fiancé, and though it feels wrong to come back to my faith because something horrible is happening and not for simply wanting to I only hope God can forgive me for it and protect my Love.

Of course, I will keep you both in my prayers. Never feel like you're turning to your faith for the 'wrong' reason, because this can put you off really engaging and connecting with your faith and using it as a pillar and a support network. Please reach out to a Church, even if you aren't currently attending one. And asking for prayers and for help from the Priest. Even if you did turn to faith for the 'wrong' reason, ultimately by spending time in prayer, spending time reading Scripture, spending time going to Church - whatever things you might be doing. Should hopefully lead to you sincerely connecting with your faith in a way that perhaps feels more meaningful to you. A genuine engagement with the faith. It is better to turn to God in times of desperate situations, than to never turn to Him at all. God never tires of us turning to Him for help.

People turn to the faith in different ways, in many different situations. We should never treat the individual turning to God as 'this is the right reason', 'this is the wrong reason'. Anything that could lead to someone genuinely increasing their faith, no matter how slim that possibility may be, should be encouraged. How many cultural Catholics still turn to St Anthony for help finding a lost item? Or a Hail Mary when they're in the hospital waiting room? As the old saying goes 'there's no atheist in the trenches'. And regardless of how 'silly' or 'insincere' or whatever else term we might use that turn to faith might be, God will use it as an opportunity for you to develop or redevelop that relationship with Him. Our entire life is a conversion process. We are always, every single day, choosing to convert to God through repentance or choosing to slip away from Him. Hoping in God, hoping in His power and His mercy and His comfort isn't a bad thing.

In terms of prayers, if you are feeling up for it. There is an Akathist to the Theotokos for healing - particularly for healing from cancer. I know you don't have a confirmed diagnosis, but please don't feel like you have to wait until then to pray this. You can pray it now. This is a long prayer. It is designed to be read all the way through. Don't worry about the names of Troparion or Kontakion, that's meant for people that are chanting the Akathist. http://www.stvladimiraami.org/sheetmusic/akathistvsetsaritsa.pdf Has the beginning prayers, as well as the full akathist. Generally, the first couple of times reading through an Akathist can make it take a long time. But I found through the Akathist that I prayed daily, that eventually it takes a lot less time because you know the prayer well enough. Don't feel like you have to read this every day. Traditionally, Akathists can be said once a day for a 40 day period. You don't have to do it for that long, just as and when it feels feasible. It does also have three prayers at the bottom. If you're ever not feeling up for praying the Akathist, feel free to pray those individually.

I have attached some much shorter prayers under the read more. Feel free to mix and match between them. I would recommend having at least one prayer, that you pray morning and night. If you can, I would also recommend reading a Psalm a day.

Dear Lord, as my loved ones and I await the results of medical tests about my affliction, let us offer you our anxieties for our good and your glory. Calm us in our worries, knowing these don’t add wisdom but rather stress to this situation. Enlighten us, though the power of your Spirit, to make wise decisions as to treatment. Help us not to turn away from You in these fragile, painful moments, but rather towards you for grace and strength. Comfort us in seeking you now as we place all our concerns in your loving hands as we say “Thy Will Be Done.”

Mary, health of the sick, you brought forth into our world Jesus Christ, our Divine Healer. In your caring goodness, intercede for (mention name), who is truly in need of miraculous assistance.

If it be God’s will, I ask this day that the gift of healing from all forms of cancer be granted to (name).

Comfort him/her during times of anguish, pain, confusion and despair. Ask our gracious Savior to grant him/her physical health, inner peace and patience in suffering.

May God’s healing graces grant (name) a life of happiness, health and fulfillment here on earth, and one day the joy of eternal glory in His loving embrace.

Amen.

Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.

O Lord Almighty, the Healer of our souls and bodies, You Who put down and raise up, Who chastise and heal also; do You now, in Your great mercy, visit our brother (sister) (Name), who is sick. Stretch forth Your hand that is full of healing and health, and get him (her) up from his (her) bed, and cure him (her) of his (her) illness. Put away from him (her) the spirit of disease and of every malady, pain and fever to which he (she) is bound; and if he (she) has sins and transgressions, grant to him (her) remission and forgiveness, in that You love mankind; yea, Lord my God, pity Your creation, through the compassions of Your Only-Begotten Son, together with Your All-Holy, Good and Life-creating Spirit, with Whom You are blessed, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.

O Lord our God, Who by word alone did heal all diseases, Who did cure the kinswoman of Peter, You Who chastise with pity and heal according to Your goodness; Who are able to put aside every malady and infirmity, do You Yourself, the same Lord, grant aid to this Your servant (Name) and cure him (her) of every sickness of which he (she) is grieved; lift him (her) up from his (her) bed of pain and distress, and send down upon him (her) Your great mercy, and if it be Your Will, give to him (her) health and a complete recovery; for You are the Physician of our souls and bodies, and to You do we send up Glory: to Father, and to Son, and to Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

O God, our help in time of need, Who are just and merciful, and Who inclines to the supplications of His people.

Look down upon ____________and have mercy on them and deliver them from the trouble that now besets them.

Deal with ____________ not according to their iniquities, but according to Your manifold mercies, for we are the works of Your hands, and You know our weaknesses.

I pray to you to grant ____________ Your divine helping grace, and endow them with patience and strength to endure their hardships with complete submission to Your Will.

Only You know our misery and sufferings, and to You, our only hope and refuge, we flee for relief and comfort, trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver ____________ from this trouble, and turn their distress into comfort.

We then shall rejoice in Your mercy, and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen

[Feel free to pray this one for yourself, and to edit it to be a prayer for your fiancé. From my understanding, when we are praying for someone else, we omit any references to them being a sinner. So you would edit it to 'Be merciful to him/her, O Master. Take from them the heavy burden of despair.']

O Greatly-merciful Master, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and cleanse me from every sadness and disturbance and cowardice. Drive away from me every spiritual choking and demonic sorrow, that I sense in my body and my soul. For You are our Joy, and the Hope of all the ends of the earth, and those far off at sea. Be merciful to me, O Master, upon my sins. Take from me the heavy burden of sin and despair. Drive far away from me every sadness and laziness. Confirm me in Your Love, and with unassailable hope and unshakable faith in You, through the intercessions of Your Spotless Mother, and all Your Saints. Amen.

[I would recommend this one for yourself]

O Master, Lord my God, in Whose hands is my destiny: Help me according to Thy mercy, and leave me not to perish in my transgressions, nor allow me to follow them who place desires of the flesh over those of the spirit. I am Thy creation; disdain not the work of Thy hands. Turn not away; be compassionate and humiliate me not, neither scorn me, O Lord, as I am weak. I have fled unto Thee as my Protector and God. Heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee. Save me for Thy mercy's sake, for I have cleaved unto Thee from my youth; let me who seeks Thee not be put to shame by being rejected by Thee for mine unclean actions, unseemly thoughts, and unprofitable remembrances. Drive away from me every filthy thing and excess of evil. For Thou alone art holy, alone mighty, and alone immortal, in all things having unexcelled might, which, through Thee, is given to all that strive against the devil and the might of his armies. For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen

#prayer #prayer request #prayer req #urgent prayer request

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herotome · 5 months

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Devlog #123

Hi-ho, Wudge here.

So... it's out! If you somehow haven't heard despite my modest-yet-incessant marketing efforts, Herotome's Super Demo is now out on itch.io!

People seem to really enjoy the game. My notifications are blowing up. Everything seems to be going really well - it's all coming up Wudge, one might say!

Which means it's time to talk about 𝓜𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓘𝓵𝓵𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼.~

Y'all weren't expecting that one, were ya? Boom, baby! Haha!!!

So, let me know if this sounds familiar: I spend most of my waking moments worrying that something bad is going to happen. I'm perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Thank you to @hummingbird-games for reminding me that idiom exists, and taking it in good humor when I excitedly babbled that "YES! It's like there's this giant centipede with shoes in my ceiling and I'm convinced I hear him walking around and someday, someday he's gonna throw all his shoes at me like that one guy did to George Bush--!"

...I'm worried that someone is going to find a reason to be rightfully angry with me. I'm worried that, through the mortifying ordeal of being known, I will be punished with the harrowing gauntlet of rejection and misery. I worry that, any day now, I'm going to get a random half-thought-out message that obliterates my heart into smithereens and kills me on the spot. I am a sea slug, cautiously edging a tendril into the light and praying not to be noticed by the eldritch fish above that will devour me in a single gulp.

I find myself flinching even when there isn't a blow coming.

Putting out a piece of yourself for the public to consume is really fucking terrifying. I did it anyway, which is cool of me, but I want to make it known that there is not eternal bliss and satisfaction and rose petals on the other side. Is this better than my cave of solitude and darkness I emerged from? I think so. But I'm still perpetually scared, as Toby Fox might once have described it, "like a small dog startled by a thunder storm."

I'm still really tired, too.

I don't write this to complain; I'm conscious that some people are now looking up to me and the way I do things, and I want to be transparent. I don't want anyone to think I'm perfect or have always been perfect and will always be perfect, or that I've ~found happiness~.

I'm not. I have never been. I will never be. I haven't.

But I'm okay, at least. I'm okay and I'll be okay, and I'm grateful to you all. Every single one of you. Thank you for not submitting me to the harrowing gauntlet of rejection and misery…yet. :^)

Alright what's the takeaway here. Uhm.

Be yourself! Follow your dreams! Never give up!!!

That's sincerely what I'm trying to do. It's a challenge every single day; I have to choose Herotome every single day (something something married to my own game blah blah blah). It is worth it. And I believe in you - assuming you're not a cannibal or a murder or, worst of all, a plagiarist (gasp!) or anything else terrible and bad - I believe in you. (… But honestly, I'd believe in you if you were a bad person too, I'd believe in you to continue to do bad things but I'd hope that you'll stop and turn yourself in to the proper authorities lmao…)

… I went on a weird tangent again…

I don’t know if any of this is making sense. Maybe it will be insightful to someone out there, maybe it won't.

I uh, did some writing for the next part of the game, and I plan on working on some character expressions today in honor of my Ko-Fi donators.

Oh, and there's gonna be a stream on Wednesday 10pm Pacific. I'll be there! Come say hi and please don't squish me!

… Yeah that's all I can think of writing for now. I absolutely wish you all the best with every speck of love I have in my current flesh prison.

Tata for now. Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

#Im also conscious of things I said I was gonna do but never got around to doing and worry its wavering at the brim of my memory and someday #it will fall and crush me underneath--#dskjfbskj anyway #herotome update #I am full of worries and demons. better than I used to be (less demons) but they are still here #I would take selfies with them and show you all if I could

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cookinguptales · 5 months

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i can't wait to hear your thoughts on yellowjackets 🐝

I'm on episode 5 rn! I've been kind of sporadically livetweeting it lmao, but a fair amount of that is just thirsting after Melanie Lynskey.

some very early thoughts are:

melanie he's a fuckboi and I hope you fuck him and then kill him praying mantis style

yes, yes, I get it, you spent 19 months praying/preying and they think you're saying "praying" but you're actually saying -- yes, I get it

"oooh wahhh it's so scary when you kill rabbits and eat them" no it's fine it's hot

I'm pretty sure christina ricci's character was born to be in hannibal instead, but she's making the best of where she ended up

my god these terrifying women are so distractingly attractive, especially shauna and taissa, rip me

it's crazy how shauna manages to be heterosexual in a way that feels almost as queer as taissa's actual relationships with women. like it feels like every affair she has is just a way to feel something towards someone entirely different. (triangulation...?) like is she NOT obsessed with her friend and that's why she's fucking her boyfriend? because it really feels like she's obsessed with her friend and that's why she's fucking her boyfriend. and this new fuckboi, too, is he not just a way to deal with her angst over her terrible marriage?

I digress

I do feel like women never get roles this meaty and interesting and toxic and I'm so here for it honestly, I want to see them spiral

I do not care about a single man in this show, though, I'm sorry all men in this show

I do like how it's difficult to tell whether supernatural things are happening or not. like how much of this is just the cruelty of (wo)man vs. something uncanny that predates them (see: the mark that was there when they landed) vs. chemical & situational madness (yeah, I can guess what those pills are for) vs. something supernatural vs. Cult Stuff...

I'm just saying that how vague it is entices me

horned god horned god horned god I'm so interested in where this weird shit is going

speaking of weird shit what the actual fuck is going on with taissa's entire fucking family. again, it's hard to tease out how much of what they see is dementia vs. trauma vs. something genuinely supernatural.

I can't help but wonder what those guys from the plane that went down in chile (the one with the rugby team in the 70s) think about this show that is clearly semi-based on their real-life trauma. like it must be so fucking weird for them. I'm sure some are still alive. I can't even imagine.

anyway yeah don't spoil me bro but those are some of my (admittedly kind of drugged up) thoughts. I'm sick and on very strong medication. lmao

#yellowjackets

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invisibleraven · 1 year

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"You're not a waste of space" + "I think you're awesome" for Rulie?

The last thing Reggie registers is Julie, floating above him in the volcra's grip, her face terrified, and then a burst of white light, and then nothing.

He wakes up some time later to a grizzled medic sewing him up with no idea what happened, or where Julie is. He staggers away, towards the general's tent hoping and praying for answers that no one seems to want to give.

Only Julie is there, the general's hand on her shoulder, and she's glowing with pure sunlight in direct contrast to the man beside her, dressed in pitch black and smirking at her with his icy blue eyes. Whispers fill the tent of 'Sun Summoner' and when Reggie catches Julie's eye, he knows that nothing will ever be the same.

No more will they run through their meadow, avoiding lessons and chores to find flowers and rabbits. No more drinking kvas under the stars as they joke about the Grisha orders-because Julie is one of them now.

Probably the most powerful one of all.

And it stings that she never told him. So Reggie stalks away, not knowing that seeing Julie in that tent was the last time he would lay eyes on her for some months.

He hears she's been taken to the Little Palace, training to use her powers while he stays behind with his regiment, fighting the king's useless, never ending war. He sends her letters every week, but she never writes back, and he grows despondent.

Then there's a mission-track down the mythical stag wanted by the dark general, and get to visit the palace. Reggie immediately volunteers, any chance that he can see Julie, he'll take. He's the best tracker there is, so if anyone was going to find a creature of legend, it should be him.

He writes Julie one last letter, telling her his feelings, calling her his true north, and seals it with a kiss. Even if she laughs as she reads it, he prays she still gets to see his words.

Only the stag isn't a myth, and he finds it just beyond the borders. Barely makes it out alive, and staggers back to the camp with the position memorized. Makes his way to the capital, Julie's name beating in his heart. He has no idea why the stag is needed, but he vows that if Julie needs it, he'll get it for her.

Only, no one will let him see her, and a very rude guard attempts to take him out. He runs, and finds himself outside the palace walls once more. He gets word the next day that Julis is missing, though it's only whispers, and decides that if he can find a mythical stag, he can find her.

Tracks her down to the woods, and she looks overjoyed to see him, flinging herself into his arms, and Reggie nearly weeps with how good it is to hold her once more. Throws his army issued jacket over her shivering form as she tells him why she ran-a power hungry general, a plot to take over the country or take her life-Reggie screws up his face at it all.

"I'll keep you safe," he vows. "I may be a waste of space compared to a living saint such as you-" she screws up her face at that, hating that the people are calling her Sankta Julianna and that sshe is powerless to keep their hopes alive against the dark general.

"You're not a waste of space," she says. "Even if you never wrote me back."

"I wrote to you almost every day," Reggie replies, deadly serious.

"I-I never got a single letter," Julie says. "And I assume neither did you."

Reggie shakes his head in response. "No. Every day I lived in hope at mail call only to be crushed once more when there was nothing for me."

"But you still came for me," Julie says, sounding hopeful.

"Of course I did. Letters or not, saint or orphan-I think you're amazing Julie."

She throws herself at him again, this time catching his mouth with her own. This kiss is hard and off centre, but Reggie gentles it, and licks into her mouth, making them both whimper. They kiss and kiss and kiss, making up for every letter they never got that was filled with confessed love, with longing and loneliness.

And the whole time?

Julie glows.

#filled prompts #ficlet #rulie #julie and the phantoms #very much a shadow and bone au but without the mal character being a total ass like he is in the books

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supernaturalkickparty · 1 year

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7. What is your favorite scene you’ve written so far?

11. What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?

7. Oh god i am horrible at choosing!!!! I think what comes to mind right now is something I wrote for a j2 au. Jared is a severe epileptic who has memory issues. Jensen was previously married but his husband passed away. This scene is after Jared has a bad seizure and in the hospital, he has no memory of Jensen or of the relationship they have. Jensen can't deal.

Jensen wasn't sure where to go, he just knew he needed to try to calm himself before he sent himself into a full blown breakdown. He drove aimlessly for a while before he realized he ended up at the cemetery.

He walked the same path that he had taken every single time he would go to his former husband's grave. He stared at the headstone, a mixture of anger and sadness washing over him.

"Am I being punished? Is that what this is? I finally feel ok to move on, I feel it's time to move on, and I start dating Jared. I love him so damn much. I stopped wearing my wedding band, I'm changing my name back to Ackles and this shit happens?!" Jensen was in full blown tears at this point. "I hate you, I fucking hate you for leaving me, I hate you for all the false hope of "prayer works" and for what? You still died!"

Jensen sat on the grass, his body shaking as he sobbed. He wished things could be back to normal. His new normal, his life with Jared.

"I prayed for things to be ok with Jared, like a fucking idiot I believed since you always did, and he's alive. I'm beyond grateful. He's walking around, but I'm a total stranger to him all over again and it's too much for him. It's too much for me because all I want to do is hold him and tell him how much I love him and how glad I am that he woke up because I was terrified he would never wake up." Jensen ran a hand across his face. He wondered what Jared was doing right now, he just left him back at their apartment and he should have stayed and talked.

"I love him...more than I loved you. It feels like I love him more than I loved you and it scares me. It scares me because what if I lose him next time." Jensen scoffed. "I probably lost him now but at least I know he's alive. If he were to have another seizure and it was so bad that I lost him...I don't think I could handle burying him after burying you."

Jensen stood up slowly, dusting himself off from the grass and dirt that covered his jeans. He had to get home and just hope that Jared would allow him to talk. Hope that Jared will allow him to be near him.

11. The scene I'm hyped for is the big reveal. I'm working on 3 fics but currently trying to focus on my dad!dean au. The reveal being that everyone but Sam knows that Dean's his dad. It's an au, like first chapter off the bat sets it all up for Sam to go his whole life and not know until a certain moment that has me chewing glass. So you're already thrown into the world where Dean's raising him but he doesn't know.

Currently on chapter 3 and I'm not sure how long it'll be. But I'm having fun with it.

#ask games #ash rambles #ash writes

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skiyoosmi · 3 years

Text

post-break up heartaches

verse 3. in the warmth of your love and the comfort of your touch

⤷ sakusa kiyoomi, miya atsumu

⤷ verse 1 | verse 2

⤷ play. i'll be fine somehow by benjamin ingrosso, remember the mornings by clinton kane

commissions: open

⇢ SAKUSA was hardly a believer of gods, firm with following his principles of crediting only the existence of things he can see with his own eyes. he detested myths, fairytales, anything that is far from reality. he thinks they're foolish; you thought otherwise— you adored anything that had something to do fiction, always finding the comfort of it being an escape from the harsh world you live in. it was the very same reason why the living room of the apartment you used to share with him was filled with shelves, full of books that you've read countless times but never got tired of them.

he heaves a sigh as he enters the apartment, shoulders drooping because like any other day, he is met by nothing but silence. his figure stops by the doorway leading to the said living room, eyes scanning the said area with a profound longing swimming in them. he imagines you standing there, bright orbs that were full of wonder looking up the shelves that were much taller than you, in a dilemma because you have no idea what you wanted to read next. and then you'll probably sense his presence because you'll soon turn your head to his direction, giving him a beautiful smile that somehow lifts his mood up. you always felt him, you've always felt everything for him.

"welcome home, kiyoomi."

he feels his heart becoming heavier because after a few seconds, he's pulled back to the reality. you were gone... you weren't coming back and it's all because of him.

"let's get divorce, yn. i... don't feel anything anymore."

he wonders what made him think that way, because his present state was obviously the exact opposite of what has been said to you. regret pools even in the deepest pits of his stomach as he remembers it all— the dinners you prepared with only care and love for him in your mind, his monotonous voice as he spoke those words oh so carelessly, your failed attempts of giving him an understanding smile, only for your lips to wobble as you held in your cries,

i understand, kiyoomi... j-just send me the papers and i-i'll sign them as soon as possible.

the doorbell brings him back from his trail of thoughts, a small light of hope ignited within him that maybe... just maybe it's you. to his disappointment, he's faced by a delivery man, a brown envelope being held out to him, "mr. sakusa kiyoomi?"

he nods, cautiously taking the said object and signing some papers before coming back to the darkness of his house. carefully, he tears it open, his insides slowly but surely becoming twisted altogether as he takes out the contents of the envelope.

hello kiyoomi, you weren't sending any document to me so i took the initiative to get the divorce papers. i guess you're still busy with work so that's understandable. i signed it. i don't want to hold you back from your happiness so yeah, this is it. i... i just want to thank you for making me feel so many things for all the years. it was a pleasure being your wife. it might be a bit overbearing but keep in mind that i'll always love you, my feelings... they're all for you, no matter how many years may pass. goodbye.

sakusa was hardly a believer of gods... but as his hands clutch the diamond ring you once wore close to his chest, he begins to pray to all of them— to give him the power to turn back time, to undo the agony and pain he gave you, to let him see your smile once more, to give you each and every bit of his feelings again—

but like any other day, he is met by nothing but silence.

⇢ ATSUMU furrows his eyebrows together due to the sudden ringing of his doorbell because as far as he can remember, he wasn't supposed to have any guests today. he had already planned to sulk his day off away by watching some sappy dramas and movies, your favorite ones— so who in the world decided to break his agenda?

he huffs, placing the remote he was previously holding on the coffee table, and stands up, footsteps heavy as he trudges towards the door, eyes widening when he sees you through the peephole. he swears he's never opened the front door so fast, "yn!"

his heart quickly thumps against his chest as he takes in your form; despite the slightly visible bags under your eyes (he thinks it's due to you overworking as usual— he hopes it's because you're thinking of him the way he thinks of you), you shone bright like every single day that passed and he can't help but wonder what made him think of letting you go that night. i can find someone better than you, someone who won't bother me every fucking second just because they're so needy for attention, his words echo in his head.

he tries to give you a strained smile, cringing internally as he looks right into your eyes that held nothing but pure anger and disappointment for him, "we're not friends, atsumu. not anymore so drop the friendly act."

you walk past him and heads straight to the painfully familiar bedroom, ignoring the rushing footsteps behind you, along with the quiet begging that escapes his mouth, "i love you, yn. i'm sorry, please."

"i'm just here to get my things, not make amends with you and our relationship," you reply, harshly swallowing the vile feeling that attempts to get out of your throat, "i... i just... i know love isn't supposed ask for something back... but don't you think it was too one-sided considering we're in a relationship, tsumu? i barely see you and talk to you without you feeling all bothered and annoyed. i get it, you're tired... but i am not a punching bag, you don't get to take it out on me every single time you come home."

you take a deep breath, cursing because this was not in any of your plans for today. shoving the last pieces of your remaining things as quick as possible and slinging your bag over your shoulder, you take one last look at the room you once found comfort in, only feeling your heart clench because this same scenario was exactly what happened on your last night here— same break up scenario, same hearts aching, same atsumu looking at you regretfully, same hand that reaches out for you as you both stand by the doorway.

"stay... please. i can't do this without you," he croaks out, the grip on your wrist tightening because he's terrified, scared to let you go, scared that you slip out of his hold and never return.

you don't reply for a moment, not even sparing him a glance, before removing his hand, "i'll... give you a call... maybe... maybe not... i don't know."

you know you'll never do. you think he knows that too— still, he holds onto the hope your words provided him.

but no calls came despite him waiting until past midnight and as he lied on his bed, chest contracting due to the pain his heart feels, he chokes out a pathetic laugh,

so this is what you felt like when i broke countless promises that i made to you, huh, yn?

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #atsumu x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa headcanons #atsumu headcanons #haikyuu angst #haikyuu writings #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #post break-up heartaches

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 3 years

Note

If you're still doing the c!primeboys aus, one set in the L'Manberg revolution?

Of course! I adore doing them.

Blood pooled at the floor of the Final Control Room, the screams of agony and terror having stopped echoing off the walls and giving way to dead silence. Eret had lost whatever lunch she had, and refused to look at the bodies of her former comrades. Sapnap and Punz leant against the side of the walls, knees buckling and staring in shock at what they’d done. Even George looked a bit pale, used to assassination, but not of children.

Dream watched serenely, pride swelling in his chest. He couldn’t have hoped for this plan to go as well as it did. Three bodies dissolved into nothing as their owners respawned. One did not.

Dream's first thought was panic, looking at the bloodied and battered body of the boy he found fascinating. Tommy couldn’t have lost his first two canon lives without him knowing, right? Oh god, what was the point of all this if Tommy was dead forever-

No use panicking. He bent down and grasped the boys wrist and grinned. It was faint, but there was a pulse. Now, the question was what to do with this opportunity.

He could finish him off (but that would just be a waste). He could let him go (but that would just be boring). He could-

His grin widened under his mask. He could keep Tommy as a hostage, and kill two birds with one stone. He could get the rebels under his thumb and keep Tommy all to himself.

(“All to himself?” What the fuck was he thinking? Tommy wasn’t a fucking object, he couldn’t hoard him like a resource.)

(But he wanted to. Oh, he wanted to so, so bad.)

He picked up the too-light body of his Tommy (his Tommy? He didn’t own him) and took him to Eret's castle. He wasn’t going to keep him in the old “jail,” not only had he escaped from it effortlessly before but it was barely more than a bed and enough room to stand. The Pride Palace was more secure and less restrictive. After all, a songbird would hardly sing in a cage too small for it.

——

Tommy's room in the palace wasn’t anything like his home, and no matter how long he spent a fucking prisoner here he despised it. It was filled with fluffy blankets and pillows and gifts and comforts meant to bribe him into behaving. All he wanted was the feeling of rough cobblestone under his feet and his brother's smile.

Eret wasn’t that bad, honestly. Yeah, he was a fucking traitor, but there was something in the way he looked from the windows, the way he froze whenever his former friends was mentioned. He denied it, but there was something resembling regret there. Besides, he allowed Tommy to take whatever he wanted from the chest and roam the castle grounds to his heart’s content, and that was better than the first few days, where Dream had insisted he be confined to his room. For rest, he said.

Neither were Dream's friends, really. They got sent over to “guard” the new king, apparently to protect Eret from assassination, but it was clear the real reason was to keep Tommy from escaping. None of them really particularly cared about that. George mostly just slept. Sapnap hung out with Tommy, and honestly no matter how much he complained it was nice having a friend other than Dream. Punz just let Tommy leave for the right bribe, which Tommy was pretty sure could be anything. He once gave the mercenary a single dirt block and he looked the other way. It wasn’t even really necessary, honestly, to keep Tommy in the palace. He knew he had trackers on him at all times.

It wasn’t like him nearly dying had allowed him to come back intact, after all. His leg was basically destroyed, broken and twisted to the point of uselessness and unable to heal. The memory of lying in the too-large bed in his prison, so full of potions he was barely conscious and the feeling of the saw cutting through tendons and flesh and bone still haunted him. It wasn’t Ponk's fault really- they were the closest thing to a doctor the server had, but they'd never done anything like that before. Besides, they gave him a big ass lollipop and a weird smelling candle afterwards, and that was kind of cool.

It was only the next day Tommy had met Sam for the first time, and he was honestly kind of fucking terrifying- a creeper hybrid more creeper than human, scuttling about on four insect like limbs and towering over everyone- but he was nice. Nice didn’t mean safe- fuck, it definitely didn’t mean safe, Dream was nice in his visits every day until he wasn’t- but it was comforting. Sam was apparently some redstone prodigy who holed himself up in a mountain in the server to work on his creations, and Dream had hired him to make a prosthetic for Tommy.

Sam had worked surprisingly quickly- he’d had it done within the week- but he’d insisted that he come over every once in a while to check if it was working properly. Tommy's pretty sure it was just an excuse from Sam to make sure he hadn’t been murdered or whatever. He’d told him about the tracker in the leg, during one of his visits. Honestly, it barely phased Tommy. He knew what Dream was like.

(God, one of these days he had to apologise for ever calling Tubbo clingy. He never knew the meaning of that word until now.)

Figuring out what had happened to L'Manburg after he was taken as Dream's fucking spoil of war or whatever was- not difficult, but painful. He’d expected the country to be destroyed, the walls brought down, so that wasn’t a shock, but what was was what had happened to his family.

Tubbo was- quiet. Far too quiet, eyes downcast and always listening. Whenever they met, Tubbo would never be able to look Tommy in the eyes but would hold him tight like he could somehow keep him from leaving if he did. Fundy's talk of Dream, once far too kind and punctuated by the barely hidden blushing of a schoolboy crush, was harsh and angry and betrayed. And then there was Wilbur.

Wilbur, the kind, kind older brother who teased him and ruffled his hair and naively thought that words could prevail over violence. That would give anything for his ideals. He didn’t see that Wilbur when he looked into his brother's eyes anymore, instead seeing terror and anger and derangement. He smelt like cigarette smoke, so strong it made it hard to breathe around him. His clothes were ripped and poorly patched together, his hair too long and eyes with deep deep black bags underneath.

He spoke of violence and revolution and bombs and death, burning the whole server down if it meant getting Tommy back. He’d tried to drag Tommy to his rebel encampment in a ravine somewhere, only stopping when Tommy desperately mentioned he was being tracked. He barely so much as grazed Tommy anymore, as if afraid he’d break him like glass, but the few times he did the touch was possessive in a way sickeningly familiar.

The last time they were able to speak, Wilbur had a manic grin on his face as he took a long, long drag of his cigarette. “Technoblade wrote back, Tommy,” he said, uncontrolled glee in his voice. “He’s coming. We'll get you home, Tommy, I promise.”

The worst part was, even though the idea of being free was something he dreamed about, something he’d hoped and prayed for, part of him hated the idea and said that he was where he belonged right under Dream's thumb.

If anyone else wants to send in some more AU ideas it’d be lovely and I will make them heavily involve c!primeboys no matter what and again that’s a challenge

#dream smp #dsmp #dream smp au #dsmp au #c!primeboys #c!dream #c!tommy #tw gore #tw blood #tw amputation #tw obsession #tw possessive behavour #tw kidnapping #tw isolation #tw abuse

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roseabelle21 · 3 years

Text

No. 1

Requested by: @mirukobecomingbothered

I might have gotten carried away with the headcanon, I'm sorry! 🥺🥺 I added a few twists of my own and I hope it reached your expectations. I hope you like it! ♥️♥️♥️

Pairings: Hitoshi Shinsou x reader, Katsuki Bakugou x reader

Status: Unedited

Genre: Fluff with a tiny weeny bit of angst.

Quick Background:

An outcast because of a 'villainous' quirk? Check.

Do you have friends? Not sure if you can call them your friends when they are all blithering idiots who want to mess with the spirits.

Does everyone think that you will be a villain someday? Every time.

Is everyone afraid of you because you look like you've been dead for the past five years but still walking above ground? Absolutely!

When do people see your cat do they automatically think that you are a witch? Yes, but more like a demon in disguise.

You shrugged them off, your quirk might be on the freaky and terrifying side but it is powerful.

Contrary to popular belief, ghosts are nice, most of the time. Maybe a bit clingy and attention seeker towards you since you are the only one who can see and hear them.

They are a nice company to be around. Most of them.

There was a time you used to hate your quirk, there never seems to be a privacy when you see those supernatural things.

You see things you wish you couldn't, things that can go beyond your imagination.

Everyone thinks the worst in you, and there are days when they get to you.

When that happens, the ghosts always have your back.

You try your best to prove them wrong, and when you got into UA and placed top 5 in the sports festival, some perspective changed, and some called you a freak.

Though they are all wimps since they can't say it directly in your face or around your friends, especially your boyfriend.

Lord knows what'll happen when someone talks shit about you around them.

They probably met Jesus soon after.

Shinsou Hitoshi

Straight off the bat, your favourite date, past time, and other couple activities are sleeping.

Him catching up on his well-deserved sleep and you calm your mind from everything.

Nothing in between.

Naps in the couch, beside the window, your rooms, maybe beside the window in the common room after stargazing.

You have to pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands.

This sleepy boi understands the pain and suffering you go through the best, especially since he's been there.

Both of you start as acquaintances.

You met him when your cat decided to give you a heart attack by running off to who knows where and not coming back for h o u r s.

It freaked you out since staying out late is unlikely of your lazy ass cat.

Despite your fatigue from training, you rushed outside to find them.

You didn't have to look for too long, you found them at the park accompanied by an Einstein inspired purple-haired guy with a UA uniform.

You let out a breath of relief, it didn't last long as anger bubbled up in your chest.

Yelling out their name that startled not only your cat and the guy, but the rest of the people at the park as well.

Shinso stared at you scolding your cat whilst bringing them in your arms.

Amused and curious at the same time.

Thinking that you took that TikTok meme "I'm alive but I'm dead" a little too far.

A chuckle that left his lips and your glare started a long interesting talk.

Both of you started eating lunch together at school with the Dekusquad.

A few teasing looks from Uraraka when he sat down beside you and greeted you before anyone else.

They started inviting him to your hangouts outside of the school and study dates.

It happened almost every day once he transferred from class 1-A.

A month after that Uraraka and Kaminari started teasing the both of you.

It confused you when they made a big deal about you and Shinsou spending more time with each other than the rest of the class.

It only confused you further when Shinsou started blushing every time you look at him or even go anywhere near him.

He finally confessed to you when both of you got stuck in the closet playing 7 Minutes In Heaven.

It was hard to listen to him because of the endless teasing of your ghost friends.

They approved of him the moment he talked and looked at you like a normal human being.

Shinsou as a friend was protective of you, knowing all of the nasty looks and what people say about you because of something uncontrollable.

And now that you're his girlfriend? Oh boy, haters can run but they can't hide.

He is the most chill person you will ever meet.

But once you decided to talk shit about his girl, just pray my dude.

Or beg for mercy.

If they are one in a million lucky ones, it might work.

But they're not so.

Not even Aizawa can stop him, cause he will turn blind eye.

Nobody talks shit to any of his children students and stay alive to tell the tale.

The both of you are his prodigies, they know nothing of the hard work you both put in your training with him.

You and your boyfriend are the best in stealth missions and gathering information.

You use your friends to gather information undetectable and Shinsou tricking the villains to brainwash them.

In short, you guys are the power couple of Class 1-A and everyone agrees.

A force to be reckoned with.

Besides, no one can pull off the cosplay of Morticia and Gomez Addams better than both of you can.

You rely on each other when times get rough and needed reassurance.

Being each other's rock to hold on and find comfort in.

Shinsou will wrap his arms around you as you spill everything to him.

Reassuring you that you are his hero, muttering sweet things in your ear, stroking your hair to calm you down, and humming you to sleep.

He knows what it feels like to hate something that is apart of you.

And he tries his best to make you see the best in the worst you think of yourself.

Everything about you is beautiful, nothing that is apart of you is worth hating.

Honestly, you couldn't wish for anyone better to be your significant other.

They can call you anything they want, but you will always be an angel in his eyes.

All of them can keep talking, and he finds great pleasure once they see your true power and find themselves speechless.

"That's my girl."

Bakugou Katsuki:

Not gonna lie, he will probably think that you are a zombie or somewhat related to them.

From the moment you walked through the door, slouched back, droopy red eyes, panda-like eye bags underneath, paper white skin that is unhealthy to look at, he was certain that you are going to collapse at any given moment.

He scoffed, wondering how the hell you managed to get into UA, let alone the Hero class.

Were you even in the right class or are you just that tired to not see that huge ass sign at the door?

Either way, he didn't care.

So long as you don't stand in his way from being the best, which is highly unlikely to happen in his eyes.

So imagine his shock when you managed to score higher than him in the Physical Assessment Test.

What in the hell?

"Hey, freak bitch! How the hell did you score higher than me?! What are you playing at?!"

Kirishima immediately held him back and apologized profusely to you.

Bakugou's anger at you only increased when you only stared at him blankly before rolling your eyes and walked away.

Throughout the rest of the day, whenever he tries to call you or even go near you, he finds himself tripping over nothing or his things randomly dropping.

To say it freaks him out will be an understatement.

However, that didn't stop him from pestering you.

Constantly asking yelling- at you demanding your quirk and challenging you for a fight.

You're nonchalant response and sassy remarks only ticked him off.

The two on two activity was useless since you did nothing and Todoroki handled the rest.

Cue the USJ incident and he is finally satisfied when he saw your quirk at first hand.

Skeletons rising from the ground and villains mysteriously flying away from you when they get too close to you.

He immediately put everything together and he is ecstatic.

An unusual quirk but powerful nonetheless.

Katsuki finds himself watching you in the classroom and during training.

Finding your quirk nothing short of weird and curiosity of finding out how you use it is eating him alive.

Sometimes, he catches you talking to yourself and it only makes him more curious.

And think that you are crazy.

The moment you agreed to challenge him was the beginning of your friendship.

He overheard a few girls that you went to school with talking about your hideous appearance and quirk when walking towards the school for training.

A slight twinge in his heart when he saw you, although your face didn't reveal anything, your eyes sure did.

He dragged you by the arm to go faster and reassured you in his blunt way.

After that training with Bakugou became a routine.

The Bakusquad saw you both walking out of the park.

You declined their offer of going out saying that you have something to do and Bakugou just saying that he's not interested in going.

So the teasing of when both of you will make it official happens every. Single. Day.

Be it weekends or weekdays.

They will not stop their teasing even if they are on the verge of death.

Your bond with Katsuki strengthened when you came to rescue him from the villains and when he failed the Provisional License exams.

You were the first one to notice his change and the first and only one to confront him.

He was shocked.

He thought he had it hidden well but not to you.

At first, he was hesitant to tell you anything. But one hug from you and his walls came crashing down.

After that incident, you came to each other to open up.

You told him how you hate your quirk sometimes. Seeing things that gives you nightmares and paranoia.

In a short but somewhat sweet way, he told you about how those fears make you a stronger person. Physically and mentally.

He's by your side no matter what happens, he won't let you go through this alone.

To further emphasize it, he gave you a one arm hug.

He asked you out a few weeks later, quietly and all blushy face which was the first for him.

Of course you said yes.

You both agreed to keep your relationship a secret from everyone until Halloween where - much to everyone's surprise- he joined in.

The real icing on the cake was when they saw you both in a cliche couple, Harley Quinn and Joker.

Mina and Kirishima were the first ones to realize and Denki being the last.

You are practically inseparable after you relieved your relationship.

Anyone who talks badly about you and your quirk won't last long in the face of the earth.

Katsuki Bakugou is already explosive enough as he is, and you decided to talk shit about the love of his life?

Girl/Boy bye.

I hope you crossed everything off your bucket list cause the last thing you will see and hear is the sound of his explosions.

He once asked you about what your spirits think of him.

You were silent for a while before you replied, "I don't think you wanna know."

You know he won't stop there, he kept pestering you, again and again, every chance he gets to ask.

Annoyed you told him.

"They think you are a crusty pomeranian and they find you amusing since it's a miracle that you still have your voice after al those yelling."

They like annoying him, whenever you both are alone, they whisper things to you that'll get you to giggle and he'll angrily question what they were talking about.

Making his things fall or mess with his hair.

They like him for you.

As long as he keeps you safe and happy, they'll keep him safe and sound.

From the villains and the bad spirits.

Random:

You have the perfect quirk to scare the living hell of your friends and family during Halloween season.

Who are you to deny the advantages of it. 😏😏😏

Various crosses and other blessed items by the priest litter around your room to keep the spirits away.

#Request #hitoshi shinso headcanons #hitoshi shinsou #hitoshi shinso x reader #hitoshi shinso x y/n #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou x reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki x you #katsuki bakugou x you #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugou headcanons #bakugou katsuki headcanons

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mochikeiji · 4 years

Text

Rockabye, My Love

↠ Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

↠ Warning: slight fluff, soft father/daughter moments, angst. Trigger Warning: mentions of death, depression.

↬ Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Every lyrics had a deeper meaning in them than just words that'll fit a song. Yours was heavier than anyone could think of, and Akaashi was singing it to his beloved baby girl.

↣ a/n: ohayo world! I'm sorry for late posts, expect the upcoming ones soon. School was giving too much works again. Thank you all for loving my Day 2 fic in Akaashi Week!! Also, the lullaby in this lyrics is the same tune as Isabella's Lullaby from The Promised Neverland.

⇢ Day 3: Single Parent AU

"Love, don't you worry too much,

You're doing fine.

You are the most precious thing I have loved.

I will never allow the cruel world to take you— away nor hurt you any more.

I will sing you this song when the world, caves on.

You'll be fine, I will never leave you.

You are the most beautiful thing that has came.

I will protect you forever, my love."

Life is difficult in many ways. It's either we were born different, have lost someone dear or have lost ourselves. It's no wonder how millions of people from all around the world, evert second, minute, hour— someone gives up on everything. It was cruel, disturbing, most of all heart breaking.

Akaashi never understood your true intentions. He was one hundred percent sure he had kept an eye on you at all cost. He's made you smile brighter, he's understood you more than anyone. He made you feel alive.

Yet now you ended up being dead to your own inner demons.

He remembers coming home after receiving good news from his company. He had received a promotion and a week off just for you. That was when the hospital had contacted him. He can recall his ragged breathing when he was allowed to place a foot in your room. Your monitor beating in an ever agonizingly slow rhythm, he knew it wasn't normal and immediately ran to your side.

He wanted to yell, scream, ask you why, why did you do this to yourself but he couldn't, not when you looked at him so scared and weak. The doctors had told him that he had only a few minutes with his wife, the drugs you've intake was too much, not everything was removed nor pumped out of your system. Akaashi never felt so depressed in all his life after that situation as he buried himself into your chest, listening to your lullabies that soon died down along with the light in your eyes.

That was the only reminisces he's had with you,the lullaby you would sing to yourself as a teen who strived to survive the world, a lullaby for his anxieties and own demons to be tamed, and the last thing you ever said. He was happy that over the years before your death, you had given him a customized music box that had the right notes of your song, only this time no one was singing it.

Fingers tapping anxiously on his work table, Akaashi started to fiddle with his thumb and then his index, losing his focus despite looking at the same drafted page lit up on his computer screen. He kept eyeing the pack of cigarettes that was just on the edge of his window— he needed one right now. Cigarettes were the last options he has for when he couldn't calm his beating heart or let his emotions out. But he knows how wrong it was to be damaging his health, and he knows he's going to get an earful from Bokuto since he visits his apartment every weekend. Even if Akaashi tries to hide his dirty deeds, Bokuto wasn't stupid to read through his eyes like before.

Foot was starting to bounce, his eyebrows were beginning to furrow, as if he was irritated, in trouble, or something. It wss getting harder for him, who wouldn't after losing their wife? The person he's loved since his teen years, the one he's vowed to never make her feel like how she did in the past. He failed you. He blames himself for all that matter, if he's added more precautions, maybe you'd still be here.

He bites his lips and whimpers, hands ruffling through his tossled hair and holding his head as his elbows were supporting him on the table. Everything was closing in once more, the walls to his workspace became suffocating, how he wishes one of his friends or yours would come knocking at his door even though it was already 2:30 am knowing how reckless he's getting. He swore he wasn't going to die sooner as you did. He promised to himself to let you and his memories live on, because once he dies, no one will ever remember the battles you've fought for, the good things you've done to many, and the love you've shared with him throughout the years.

"It's so hard without you, love.."

Eyes finally cracking with tears behind his glasses, he lets them stream down his face with his body shaking on his chair. Soon enough he was bound to get another headache from extreme emotion and will probably lay the whole day about it. But none of that mattered to him anymore.

He just wanted you back.

But his cries weren't the only ones that can be heard in his apartment.

Jolting up to realization, he carelessly wipes away his tears with his sleeves and tumbles our of his chair straight to his room. His heart was beating fast in worry and adrenaline, he thought the source of the crying in his room had been taken away or worse.

But it turns out, it was just his little baby girl crying in lonliness.

As he got closer, her cries were getting deafening, but he didn't mind. Not when his heart was swooning with guilt when he thought of giving up and caving to his own needs when he's forgotten he has a reason to continue on.

With the night lamp on at the side of her crib and his bed, he cooes at the sobbing baby with sweet nothings to catch her attention. Th cries immediately died down and replaced with sniffles and the baby looking up hazily at the dark figure above her.

Smiling, Akaashi carefully picks her up from the crib to cradle her on his chest. Giving her small pats on her back with hush whispers when he feels her stretch on his body.

"Shhh, I'm sorry, were you lonely?"

Grabbing on the string of his lamp shade on the nightstand, he pulls the string, allowing more light to glow in his room, and for his little girl to finally see that she wasn't alone anymore. Akaashi swayed gently as he remained in eye contact with the baby, smiling ever so slightly at the unreadable expression his daughter was possessing and played with her fingers.

"Maybe I should work with you around, you never really like it in the dark, do you, baby?"

His little girl cooes at him, curious of what language he was speaking to her and hopes he understood what she was saying as well. Akaashi's heart swelled at the adorable sound and nuzzled his face softly on her stomach, the baby still confused as ever but just clenches her hands in wonder.

His anxieties and thoughts disappearing in the air whilst he sat down on his bed and held his baby near to where his hesrt was beating. The same day you died, was the same day you had given birth. It was a miracle for the baby to be healthy despite what you had intake. He remembers after your announced death, the nurses had to usher him out, but only to drag him into another room where lies a bassinet and a couple of IV's attached and treatments.

When he got closer, his world was shaken that day. The sight of you and his baby alive and now existing after 9 months of waiting was there right before his eyes. But his heart broke at the thought of him being the only one to raise her, and her not having to meet her beloved mother. He was so emotional that day that he almost lost it when he realizes why she was kept in there and why there were so much stuff in this room. He didn't want to think thag he was losing another one when he had just met her.

The nurses explained that there was nothing wrong with the baby, just taking further check ups and to ensure she was absolutely healthy. He was already been forced outside your room that no longer held light, he wasn't going to leave the room where his daughter was until he holds her in his arms where he knows she'll be at the safest.

As time went by to now, Akaashi feared her growing up in the future. She resembled mostly to you. She was a dead carbon copy of you and he was terrified she'd experience what you have as history might repeat itself. The very thought of his daughter having something inside her little head without telling him scares him, Akaashi knew how cruel the world can be and hoe each second in life matters because we are unaware of the deaths happening at those time.

He prayed his baby girl wouldn't go through what you did as a child and carry it until she grows up. He hopes and believed in his own strength that he wasn't going to fail her this time— that there will be no person by her side and will lovd and protect her other than her daddy.

His tears blocking his vision of her as he held her tightly. He whimpers at remembering his thoughts earlier. He wanted to curse himself from thinking of leaving his daughter to fend for herself in this world and to find a way to be back to you. But he knows he was still with you, your daughter was the last love you could ever give him and he was going to love her more than anything.

The trembling of his body stops when his baby started to cry and squirm in his hold. Her whimpers breaking his heart when he couldn't solve her distress, it seemed like she was in pain and he knew this situation like in the past.

"Shh, shh, I'm here. I'm always here. I'm sorry."

Reciting out the same line he's used when he held you against his body that night. You cried and held a hand to your heart that day as he hugged you tighter. The demons inside you he had curse to go away and leave you alone. But they didn't.

An idea popped in his head and reached out inside his nightstand drawer. The little music box you have crafted for him still looked the same as it was before since it was taken with good care. He proceeded to wind it gently to let the soft tune play as he stood up once more to cradle his crying baby.

"Love, don't you worry too much,

You're doing fine."

He sings the first verse of the long memorized lullaby you sang for him. Using his thumb to wipe away the little tears that had escaped his daughters eyes. Her cries were stopped momentarily and were replaced by sniffles. Her dazed eyes making eye contact with her father's.

"You are the most precious thing I have loved."

Akaashi would be cringing thinking his voice was terrible, but the little girl in his arms seemed to be intrigued and loving the harmonized voice of her daddy and an unknown tune from the background.

His voice was smooth and soft. Completely out of character from his monotone one, but enough to capture the attention of someone.

"I will never allow the cruel world to take you— away nor hurt you any more."

He couldn't tell if he was singing the lullaby to her or he was making a silent vow to her. The lullaby you sang to him for the first time he tried searching for in the internet what the lyrics meant and who wrote it. Sadly, there were no results that came up that day.

And you never really told him how you got that song and who it was referring to in the lyrics.

But nevertheless, the lyrics could never be at the right time as it was now. It felt like he was reminding himself of what his role was from now on and what his daughter should always remember as she grows up.

No one was going to hurt her on her watch.

"I will sing you this song when the world, caves on.

You'll be fine, I will never leave you."

At the end of that line his voice cracks as he held back his own tears. He can hear only now your voice and hoe you would thread his hair during nights of distress. How he missed so many cracks of your voice from being too intrigued with the song. How he missed the fact that you needed him the most those nights of terror, yet you chose to make him feel secure and loved without leaving anything for yourself.

Slowly, his mind was connecting all the lyrics and your actions in his head. You were a self reliant person.

You sang this song in reminder that you were loved, beautiful and was protected by the few people that truly loved you. This song was meant to keep you alive.

To keep him going.

And now

It was a vow from him to his daughter.

"You are the most beautiful thing that has came."

Smiling sadly down to his baby now calmed down and listening intently to her daddy, Akaashi leans down to press kisses on her face with his tears sliding down.

He should've sang this to you when you needed it the most. A reminder of what you truly were to him. He hopes deep inside, somewhere up there or in his room you were listening. Listening to him remind you and his daughter— his world and universe, that he was going to be stronger and fulfill his own promises.

One day he was going to meet you in another life he believed, where he'd make you stay, where you and him will raise your little girl once again and he'll wake up next to you. Where he'll be the one singing this lullaby tune as he hold you both in his arms.

But for now, it was just going to be him and his baby girl.

"I will, protect you. Forever, my love."

103 notes · View notes

tuancore · 3 years

Text

Lost You (Part 16) Final :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader

Genre- Angst, fluff

Summary- It's your choices and actions which made you miserable.

It was taking you a whole lot of time to accept and embrace the reality, even when it was much better than the little imagination of your head. Sometimes you still wondered if it was really nothing but just a figment of your imagination, your mind playing tricks on your unconscious body and damaged brain.

It's strange how a human body functions. You visited the neurologists for the best treatments and therapy that you could receive. Examining your brain, the doctor concluded that your hippocampus which is responsible for the memory has certainly been damaged resulting in retrograde amnesia, since you don't remember anything apart from your so called traumatic imagination. Fortunately you were still able to recognise people who were your close ones.

Everyone has been very understanding and nice to you even when you've clearly dumped each and every memory you had shared with them, a river of guilt soaking you wet with each passing second whenever they tried to tell you a certain piece of your memory of how you used to be. A sad smile adorning your face, it had become like you never lived with others and Jinyoung for so many years. You lost majority of your memories with Jinyoung, you did know that you were madly in love with him but everything turned upside down for you.

Undoubtedly it was your brain who played your life in such episodes which didn't even take place, though it felt so damn real. According to the doctor, It rarely happens that some patient who is suffering from a concussion and is in coma is precisely living in their mind. You didn't really tell them about Jisoo, you just termed her as some girl you wouldn't want to ever meet in your life.

Although you've certainly accepted the loss of your memories but you still needed time to let Jinyoung in again, you didn't feel a lot comfortable around him, he sure treated you like some princess but you couldn't bring yourself to accept him, so you kept yourself far from him as much as possible. Whenever he tried talking to you, you've been cold to him, you were worried if he would grow upset and leave but no, he didn't. Instead he stuck to you.

"Jinyoung, I'm sorry" You muttered softly pulling your hands from his grasp, standing up on your feet your back facing him,"I—I know that you've been hurt and how happy you're to see me again, but..... Jinyoung" You fiddled with your fingers nervously,"I need some time,I'm not ready to love you again, it's not like I don't trust you, it's just...—".

"Shhh~" Jinyoung cut you in between standing from the couch,"I understand how you're feeling right now,you were just handed with the most shocking news of your life. I won't force you into doing anything which you are uncomfortable with, trust me...." He expressed softly, a warm smile spreading over his sharp features as he stood in front of you.

"Thank you" You smiled back,for him being so understanding, "And I'm so sorry for putting you through this—".

"Aigoo, you talk too much" He chuckled, "Neither do I require your thank you nor sorry. All I require for living is you. If you're happy then I'm happy bab—", he stopped biting his tongue, "I'm sorry for that".

"It's okay you c—can still c—call me that", You cleared your throat avoiding the eye contact, he grinned inwardly probably thinking how cute you were being right now.

"I hope we can start off as friends then, as housemates. I promise no funny business", he asked raising his pinky finger for you to entangle in his which you did with a hesitant smile.

Since then you and Jinyoung have been sleeping in two different rooms, you're quite surprised at the amount of patience he has. He probably does everything which an ideal husband should. Yes, a husband and not a boyfriend. It sometimes makes you wonder what kind of memories you actually shared with Jinyoung, how was it to be newly in love with him, what all things about him intrigued you, what was that about him which really made you fall for him.

You started spending your time with others, you did say that you no longer consider your traumatic experience, yet in some corner of your heart, you were terrified since it was the only thing that you remember, that's it. The hardest was to meet with Youngjae. However, he showed you the photo albums which had both of your past times captured, he also took you out to the places, where you both used to enjoy hanging out and playing around with eachother.

Jinyoung mostly spend his afternoons and evenings in his office working diligently but always managed to call you once in a while to ask you if you had eaten your lunch, had your medicines on time, if you were reading anything in particular. You were mostly bored at home, unless one of your friends took you out with them. Jinyoung made sure you had no household chores to be worried about, he used to clean and arrange the entire house before you could open your eyes in the morning, mostly he went office without you knowing, your breakfast already prepared, ready to be consumed.

BamBam and Mark often came over to play video games with you whenever you were alone, Yugyeom and Jackson taught you some of their dance moves which was better way to stay fit than gyming out according to them while you went out with Jinyoung and Jaebeom to book stores and coffee shops, and you genuinely appreciated each one of their efforts. They have always been your family but now the picture was getting more clear.

On his days off, Jinyoung used to take you out on small dates, exactly how you liked. No fancy restaurants with people wearing tuxedos and silk dresses instead you liked strolling around the streets at night, playing at amusement park, eating ice creams, spending that quiet moment at Han river, you didn't really recalled that you liked those until Jinyoung informed you.

You knew that behind that adorable smile and soft affectionate eyes was a hurting heart, he was sorely hurting himself more and more just to mend yours. At the beginning you were somewhat scared of Jinyoung, of course he felt foreign to you, but you weren't to him, Most of the times when you tried putting yourself in his shoes, it broke your heart every single time.

"Noona!" BamBam and Yugyeom nudged your arm from either side.

"Yeah yeah", You answered staring back at them. "You've been zoning out, are you okay?" Yugyeom asked.

"I'm fine, just thinking about something", You replied still staring into the void. "Something or someone?" BamBam smirked. Had it been some other time you would have smacked them, but it made you blush.

"Can I ask you guys something?", You said aloud gaining all six of their attentions, eyes watching you intently,"Go ahead", JB motioned.

"Do you guys think that I'm hurting Jinyoung?" You asked nervously. They all laughed softly as if you could not say something more stupid than this, "I really did....".

Youngjae shrugged BamBam and Yugyeom from beside you, conquering the right side on the couch while Jackson sat on the left, tears brimming in your eyes.

"Shhh~" Youngjae wiped your tears lightly pulling your cheeks, "You can never hurt him, this is just a hard phase that you both will eventually get over with, together".

"What made you think that you are hurting him?" Jackson added, you faced him with a sad eyes,"I—I don't know....it just feels so, he is always smiley face whenever he's with me, but blame my heart because it says that he's somewhere hurting real bad", You explained.

"That's true, he is hurting real bad", JB began as soon as you locked eyes with him, he smiled "But not because of you, he is hurting because of the distance you both have, he's not blaming you for any of that actually he's happy because you....." He pointed at you "You are his heart, is with him but not within him. You know we've seen him crying and mourning over you the entire time. But other than consoling him and encouraging him we had nothing to do".

"He barely ate, barely slept. He kept on switching between you and his work yet managed to do both of them perfectly. We are aware about your condition, and please don't feel as if you asking for sometime was wrong. It was right in your place" Mark explained, "But we also have seen him longing for you, praying continuously for your well being to God, he was dying to hold you in his arms where you belonged".

"Your brain might've deceived you, but your heart won't, the feelings, the emotions and the love that you hold for him will forever be engraved there, because you both love eachother", Youngjae expressed while others nodded in approval.

Tears flowed constantly down your cheeks to your neck, not bothering to wipe them you still listened to each of their views with blurry eyes.

__________

Jinyoung called you in the evening letting you know that he'll be working late, with a quiet yet affectionate 'I Love You', which you obviously didn't reply back.

It's been six months already since you and Jinyoung restarted off as friends. Not even once did he cross the line, although he had every right to hold you in his arms and behave like a possessive boyfriend, instead he gave you so much freedom, just for your sake. He never touched you, not even your hands and it was about time you knew that he is the one for you, he didn't had to really touch you to make you feel things, to make you see how much he loves you because his eyes were enough to tell that you are his world, You are his life, And if you are not here, Then he won't be able to survive.

And the way he took care of you for past six months without asking for anything in return, if this isn't love then you were genuinely not interested in knowing it's actual definition.

Thinking everything to yourself, you drifted off to sleep hugging onto a pillow. Later when Jinyoung arrived home, it was 2am in the morning he was always cautious of his actions and he didn't want to wake you up right now at any cost. He gently pushed open the door to your bedroom, seeing you sleeping peacefully with your luscious hair sprawled over your pillow and some of the locks cascading your face, Jinyoung smiled softly feeling content, walking towards your form, he crouched down on his knees to see your face.

The moonlight landing on your face, making you look ethereal to him, the way your skin shimmered with the moonlight. He could sit and watch you like this for day and night without even blinking. Jinyoung lightly raised his fingers to side your locks being extra careful to not to touch your skin.

"I'm sorry, I promised not to touch you but it's just it's hard to hold back", Jinyoung apologized, finally caressing your head lovingly. "I'm sorry that I'm busy with all these office works and I'm unable to give you time, it's been hectic lately. Sometimes things get so.......so—that I just want to run to you telling you about my problems, like I used to. Your eyes, your smile was enough to say that everything will be alright.....but nothing about you is same anymore, why are you still so uncomfortable with me? I want you back please......When will we be like before?".

"Baby....I am not blaming you for any of that, I can understand. When you were admitted to the hospital the doctors almost gave up, they said that— that.... Maybe y—you won't survive, but I wasn't ready to let you go...hell I won't ever be ready to let you go ever......before losing you I would want to die, seeing you on that hospital ward was enough to wreck me, God knows how many times I wished it was me rather than you lying lifeless ".

Jinyoung has been keeping his feelings bottled up since then, and today they spilled out. He sobbed caressing your hair, "But the look you gave me when I first tried to hug you, I can never forget how hard it hit my heart. You were scared of me...... but I'm glad that you didn't leave me, you decided to stay with me....under the same roof and that was enough. I won't ever give up on you on our love, I love you and I've faith on my love that one day you'll feel the same for me.....till then I'll wait, I'll wait baby".

He stood up from the floor, pressing his lips lightly to your forehead which lingered for awhile, "I Love You so much....". With that he tip-toed out of your room closing the door behind him.

Tears rolled from either side of your eyes onto your pillow, you were asleep but when you heard his voice. You woke up, sobbing to yourself. He sounded so broken. It's not that he didn't listen what role he played in your imagination, it already pained him but the fact that it was making you act accordingly to your imagination in front of him, was stinging his heart.

________

You squirmed under the the sheets as soon as the sunrays landed on your face, seeping through curtains, the blinding light making you squint your eyes still trying to sleep even when you were awake by then. Suddenly you no longer felt the warmth on your face, opening your eyes. You were met with the most pleasant sight ever, and you finally admitted it.

Jinyoung's head blocking the sunrays, locking eyes with his soft alluring ones, you couldn't help but stare at them quite for some time, how can you not look at him when he was staring at you with so much love and affection. You almost lost it when the corners of his mouth tugged upward into a dazzling smile reaching his eyes and you swore it was the first time you noticed him smiling that wide, his eyes crinkling.

"I didn't mean to wake you up" He chuckled nervously, standing up on his feet from the exact spot he was sitting the previous night, sitting up on the bed, you smiled, "It's okay. I was up anyways".

"I brought you breakfast, it's not much though. I woke up late as well, so it was the fastest that I could prepare", He stated, rubbing his nape in embarrassment. That's when your gaze landed on the small glass table in your room, a tray which had french toast and a glass of orange juice.

"You're still here?" You inquired since Jinyoung is barely home in the morning due to his early departure for the office.

"Today's Sunday".

Nodding a little, you got up from the bed standing right in front of him, "Did you eat?".

"Not yet—"

"I'll just go and freshen up, let's eat together", You beamed brightly at him, which for sure made his heartbeat escalate to the sky, "S—Sure", he stammered picking up the tray, leaving your room immediately.

The breakfast grew quite awkward which you both knew about, he informed you about him being free today so if you wanted to go somewhere or wanted to do something, you were yourself feeling very nervous, fidgeting with your finger you asked, "Can we just stay home?".

"Yeah, of course".

"So would you like to have a movie marathon or something?".

Jinyoung got scared suddenly as to why were you not in the mood for movies, as far as he has come to know the new you, you liked watching movies and playing video games on Sundays, then why were you acting so strange.

"If I did something wrong unintentionally then please forgive m—".

"Jinyoung, can we have a reading session?" You suggested, cutting in.

"Yes of course!" He agreed happily, "I have a whole lot of books to read, you can sit on the couch, and I'll sit there", He pointed at the bean bag at the corner of the living room.

You could see how his eyes glowed just by hearing the term 'Books', which also made you smile. Within a minute he was back with a bundle of books in his hand.

"I didn't know which one to pick so I brought all, you can pick any one", he said, extending his arms for you to choose a book from. Instead you grabbed the bundle from his hands.

"Not here, in our room", You chimed, running to your room. The feeling of your unstable heartbeat wasn't foreign at all, instead it felt home. Jinyoung on the other hand dumbfounded by your words. Did you just say what he thought he heard?

Jinyoung felt as if he was falling for you all over again, and that he was trying to approach you, living young love once again. He stood awkwardly waiting for you to command him further, you've been so quiet and simple around Jinyoung, always talking to him in monotone, that he didn't even dare to move a finger against your will. And now when you're finally being soft to him, yet he doesn't have any idea what to do.

You gently held his wrist dragging him to your bed making him sit, he watched you with those lost puppy eyes, "I know that you like to read while laying down on bed, with your head against the headboard, I've seen you reading in that room".

Reluctantly he positioned himself on the bed, his head against the headboard. You immediately placed a pillow on his back so that it won't kill his muscles. Motioning him to begin reading, you flipped through the pages of your book, sitting on the bed beside Jinyoung.

Two minutes into the reading and you could already see Jinyoung with his nose buried deep into the book, while you kept on stealing glances at him, for the first time you were paying so much attention to Jinyoung after waking up from coma, the way his soft black locks were parted revealing his milky forehead,to his perfectly shaped dark eyebrows, to his beautiful almond shaped eyes, to his long straight nose, to his soft plump pink lips.

Holding the book firmly in your hand, you climbed on the bed, taking advantage of Jinyoung's concentrated mind you gently laid your head on his thighs, a shy smile adorning your face as if it was the most normal thing to do. You stared at the words and sentences blankly written in the book, hoping for Jinyoung to say something.

Jinyoung flinched slightly feeling your head against his thighs, more than anything he was surprised to see you initiating the physical contact with him. Lowering his book, he glanced at you who was busy reading, or maybe pretending to be busy with reading.

"What are yo—you d—doing?" He croaked out, his throat drying, he knew how much you disliked to have any sort of physical contact with him. Finally getting a response from him, so the tables have turned now. He was being scared of you.

"What do you mean?" You teased him, with your head still on his thighs. "You—I mean.....it's—", he couldn't even form a proper sentence.

"I'm lying on my Jinyoung's thighs, you got a problem with that?"

Your response shocked the hell out of Jinyoung, his heart stopped for a moment, keeping his book aside, he fixed his gaze on your face which had a pretty grin.

"What did you just say?" He exhaled desperately.

"You are my Jinyoung" You remarked softly, your heart hammering against your chest cavity so loud that you could actually hear it. Swiftly crawling up his legs, you settled on his lap straddling his hips, "You're mine right?", You asked cupping his face in your hands staring deep into his hypnotic eyes.

"Only yours", He whispered both of your faces merely an inch apart, he was getting high just by inhaling your intoxicating smell, it was taking every single fibre in him to resist the urge to kiss you then and there.

"What are you doing?" He whispered, without breaking the eye contact, "Don't—". You shushed him putting your index finger on his lips, "I'll speak and you'll listen".

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.....it was just....I genuinely needed some time to put myself in place. But trust me, I never hated you, I was just being cautious. I'm sorry", You cried. Wiping your flowing tears from his thumb, he shook his head, "Don't apologize, I know how difficult it was for you".

"I shouldn't have distanced you from myself when all you did is love me and care for me without asking for anything in return, and not even once did you try to claim me. You selflessly kept me first when your own heart was in pain. Jinyoung.....I can't bring back the old me but I promise that with my new self I'll love you the way you love me, maybe more but nevertheless".

He was speechless at your confession, he never saw that coming from you atleast not like this or anytime soon. The position you both were in was already quite intimate and none of you wanted to let go of eachother. The shimmer of love heavily clouding both of your orbs, were enough to pull both of you to eachother, sending you both overdrive.

"So, Will you forgive me for putting you through all of this alone?", You asked your thumb caressing his cheeks ever so lightly.

Already drowning in your captivating essence, he nodded like a puppet.

"Will you forgive me for keeping you away from your love?".

Nod.

"Will you let me make things right between us?", Your fingers gliding from his cheeks to his jaw.

Nod.

"Will you let me love you all over again?", Your thumb caressing his bottom lip.

Jinyoung was thrown to some trance called you, the way you were straddling his hips with both of your chests pressed against eachother. Such unexpected loving confessions coming from you, in your sexy husky voice was driving him insane. His gaze switching between your inviting lips and your adorable eyes.

"Yes.."

Without any second thoughts, you pressed your lips against his soft ones into a small yet passionate kiss, just to seal your feelings for him, Jinyoung was too dumbfounded to comprehend while you pulled back.

"Did you— Did you just express......that you love..me?".

Pouting childishly, you stared at the wall pretending to be thinking, "Maybe....", Your taunting voice made him smile too.

"I'm sorry for making you wait so long but now, when we finally have eachother I don't want to stay away from you even for a second".

"That means I've full authority on you then?" Jinyoung teased back, with a grin slipping his hands behind your back pulling you closer to him. Your heart literally skipping thousand beats per second, "Yes your highness".

"I don't think that kiss was a real kiss", He smirked, putting your arms behind his neck, you encouraged, "Why don't you show me then?". And he didn't have to be told twice, he pushed you off his lap, pinning you on the bed with your hands on either side of you.

"Are you sure?", He breathed, slightly grazing his teeth over your ear, the sensation of him being so close to you made you blush in different shades of red, you faced the other side closing your eyes shut, "Where did my bold little angel go?".

Had it been earlier you would've cowered away, hearing 'Angel' from him. But the reality is where you will reside with your love, with your soulmate, with your Jinyoung.

"She's right before you, so will you kiss me or not" You provoked him with a sly grin. He chuckled heartily, attaching his lips to your plump ones again, both of your eyes closed. The kiss started slow but passionate, your hand flying to his nape bringing him closer to you if that could be possible, both of your love and emotions entirely poured into the kiss, none of you wanted to pull apart.

If there could be a proper definition of drugs then it would definitely be Jinyoung for you, you cursed yourself in your head for not doing this before, for not letting Jinyoung in sooner. His arms felt home and you were more than happy to be back in your home and God, you will never let anyone come in between you both ever.

Reluctantly pulling away from eachother for oxygen, you both inhaled heavily still staring at eachother affectionately. A fond smile appearing at both of yours lips, resting his forehead against yours, Jinyoung whispered, "I really missed you, I promise to look after you all of my life and not to do anything which will cause us to lose eachother. I love you angel, I love you so much".

"I Love You more Nyoungie", You smiled back, closing your eyes.

__________

"Lisa! Lisa! Here here!" BamBam and Youngjae shouted waving their hands at Lisa who looking here and there trying to locate the sources. Finally finding BamBam and Youngjae waving and yelling frantically, Lisa ran upto her boyfriend hugging him tightly. BamBam twirled Lisa around in his embrace kissing er head.

Youngjae made gagging noises, the same way BamBam did seeing couples showing PDA. Lisa grinned happily, greeting Youngjae.

"It took you so long! You said it would be three day thing and you're returning after a week!" BamBam whined.

"I had to attend the fashion event, the last minute. I couldn't back out" Lisa whined back convincing BamBam, "Leave all this how's unnie and Jinyoung, are they......".

"Yeps they are together finally! Noona accepted all of us and she can't wait to meet you, she didn't really get to meet you earlier".

You and Jinyoung along with other decided to call for a celebration, since you both have finally found way back to eachother plus Lisa was also coming back to Seoul today.

"The restaurant is quite impressive", You commented sitting beside Jinyoung who was cladded in a gorgeous Black Armani suit.

"Thanks to Mark hyung's friend, he owns this pretty restaurant", Jinyoung replied pecking your cheeks despite everyone eyeing you guys. The place was definitely expensive, one can tell just by looking at its interiors and fine lightings.

Lisa entered with BamBam along with her new friend which she met back in Australia who was surprisingly one of the youngest female CEO's of an IT company in Seoul. BamBam immediately rushed upto his friends hugging them one by one. Lisa glanced her friend whose gaze was focused on certain someone.

Nudging her friend's arms, Lisa warned quietly, "I hope you are not still crushing over him, Jinyoung is a taken man....Jisoo".

Facing Lisa with an innocent smile, Jisoo replied, "Of course not....", Thats when Lisa was summoned by BamBam, she motioned Jisoo to follow behind.

Watching Lisa walk to them, Jisoo smirked, crossing her arms to her chest, "I am not crushing over him Lisa.... because I love him".

"I am looking forward to know you personally, Park Jinyoung", her gaze fixed on Jinyoung who was whispering something into your ear making you giggle.

Part 15 // Part 16 (End) // ___________________________

(A/N: So I'm finally done with this FF, I hope you guys enjoyed it. See you next time. And thank you~~~) __________________________________

#got7 imagines #got7 jinyoung #got7 x reader #jinyoung imagines #got7 angst #got7 bambam #got7 jackson #got7 jaebeom #got7 mark #got7 youngjae #got7 yugyeom #jinyoung angst #jinyoung x reader #jinyoung fluff #jinyoung fanfic

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jjmaybanksblog · 4 years

Text

Death Bed (Coffee for Your Head)- Rafe Cameron

(Not my gif, credit to the owner!)

Summary: Based on Death Bed (Coffee for Your Head) by Powfu and Beabadoobe

Word count: 3,181

Warnings: (Lung) Cancer, hospitalization, cursing, sadness, mentions of death, death.

I sobbed writing this I'm not gonna lie

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head, I'll get you up and going out of bed.

Rafe Cameron sat there in the doctor's office, his eyes glazed over and his jaw slacked as the doctor stared at him with a pitied look. Six words repeated in his mind, 'you have stage four lung cancer'. He was only 22, how did this happen so soon?

He rubbed his hands over his face vigorously, cracking his knuckles after he stopped. "How long do I have?" "Some people don't survive more than 12 months, and if you're lucky, the latest I've seen is 5 years but that's with every single treatment." He flared his nostrils as he held back his tears, he wanted to be around one person and one person only; you.

Rafe showed up at your door after his appointment, a bouquet of rose's in his hand and a card in the other. You grinned at his kind gesture, your heart swelling with joy. He thought he would have to plaster a smile on his face, but the moment he saw you, a genuine smile appeared on his face. For the slightest moment, he forgot that he was dying.

You two spent the night together, cuddling and watching movies. Rafe held you close to him, his fingers skimming every part of your body, wanting to relish the feeling of you under his fingers. He checked the time and realized it was 3 in the morning and he was still awake.

You shifted in your spot before turning your body to face his, your hand reaching up and combing his blonde locks out of his face. "Don't stay awake for too long baby, you need rest." You mumbled, half asleep. "I know, I know. I just have a bad headache." He lied. Truth is, he wanted to stay awake and just admire how you looked next to him, curled up in his chest, allowing him to see your natural beauty.

"I'll make you a cup of coffee in the morning and I have plenty of ibuprofen to share." You grinned, pressing a delicate kiss to his neck. "Goodnight, my love." He whispered as he kissed your forehead in return, watching you fall back into your sleep.

I don't wanna fall asleep, I don't wanna pass away. I've been thinking of our future 'cause I'll never see those days.

Rafe rubbed his eyes with his hands as he yawned, today was his third day without sleeping. He told you that he just kept waking up in the middle of the night but eventually he did go back to sleep. You believed him, offering any help to find resolutions but he politely denied them.

Truth was, everytime he fell asleep he had dreams about your future with him. The most recent one he had was of you two, married with two children. You two had moved out of the Outer Banks, wanting a new start. In this dream, he survived the cancer so he wanted a fresh start. Away from the toxic memories he had from that town.

It pained him every time he had a thought about your future, at least what he wanted your future with him to be. He wanted to make you so happy, he wanted to be the reason you woke up every morning and vice versa. You were his everything, and it killed him to know that soon it would come to an end.

I don't know why this has happened but I probably deserve it. I tried to do my best but you know that I'm not perfect.

You sat down on the couch, legs criss crossed as Rafe paced back and forth in front of you. He was mumbling to himself as you sat there confused, trying to calm down the nerves you knew he had. You didn't know what was going on which only worried you.

"Rafe, baby just sit next to me and talk to me." He sat down next to you, his elbows resting on his knees, terrified to look you in the eyes. You scooted closer to him and grabbed one of his hands, "breathe." Was all you said before he closed his eyes, deeply inhaling and exhaling for a few seconds before turning and looking at you.

You could finally see how scared he was, he looked like he hadn't slept, his eyes were pink and watery, the bags under his eyes were a light purple. You turned your body to face him, "Rafe, what's wrong?" He turned to you, mirroring the way you were sitting. "I have stage four lung cancer."

His words felt like you fell face first in cement from a fifty foot drop. "W-what?" You stuttered, your voice just above a whisper. He nodded his head as he watched your eyes release tears. Your mouth fell open but you quickly covered it with your hand. You tried to speak but the only sound you could make was a gasping sound, like a fish out of water.

"I have maybe 12 months to live." Your mouth was dry, your heart felt like it was somehow racing and stopping at the same time. Your world felt like it fell out of space and shattered. You wanted to know how long he knew, but it didn't matter. Moral of the story was that you wanted him to live a good life for as long as he lived, and that's what you were gonna do.

You didn't say anything, you simply crawled to him and straddled his lap. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he held your waist, allowing you two to cry into each other’s necks. He held you like if he were to let go, you would disappear forever.

“I got you Rafe, I got you." Your hand reached up and entangled itself in his hair, gently massaging it. "Why did this have to happen? Right when I was finally feeling happy." He screamed into your neck.

"I don't hunny. I don't know." You whispered.

I've been praying for forgiveness, you've been praying for my health. When I leave this Earth, hoping you'll find someone else.

Rafe turned his head to look at you, making sure you were fast asleep before he slowly got out of bed. Replacing his body with a pillow, he snuck out of the room and outside of your house.

He made his way to the backyard and sat down on the grass, laying back as he looked up at the stars. He took a deep breath before speaking out loud. "Hi, uh- God. I don't know how this works, I don't know how to pray or even if you're up there, but if you are I need you to hear what I have to say."

A star above him shined brighter for a split second before disappearing behind a cloud. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the disrespectful and disgusting teenager I was. I'm sorry for all the horrible things I did to my body. I'm sorry for the crimes I committed and never got caught. I admit to everything I have done wrong, I understand why you're taking it out on me. But please, leave Y/N out of this. She is the light of my life, the reason I was able to find happiness. Please don't take my actions out on her, make her fall out of love with me or something. Just...just something to ease her pain. Please."

•

Rafe was out at the grocery store, leaving you plenty of time to head over to the neighborhood church. You walked out of your car with sunglasses on so people couldn't see your red and watery eyes. You excused yourself as you shimmied through a small group of people.

You walked into the chapel and sat down in one of the pews. You removed your sunglasses before looking up at the front of the room. You let out a puff of air before speaking out loud. "Hi, God. I really don't know what I'm doing or why I'm even trying to talk to you. But I just, I'm so desperate and I just need your help. Please, please help Rafe. Help him at least live longer than a year, he wasn't the best person when he was a teenager, you know that. But he's changed into a whole new person, he knows how he was before and he hates it now. Please help him recover through this, help him pull through because I need him here. He was the one I was supposed to marry, the one who would be the father of my children, the one to help give me my happy ending. Please."

When I leave this Earth hoping you'll find someone else, 'cause yeah, we're still young there's so much we haven't done.

You shook your head at Rafe's words as you wiped your tears away with your hands. "No, there's no way." You cried out. He grabbed both your wrists and made you look at him. "Y/N, you have to listen to me. I don't want you to grieve or mourn, I want you to keep going. Find a new love, I don't want you to be alone. You need to find a new love, start a new story with them. Please baby, I beg you."

You squeezed your eyes closed, your throat felt like it was slowly shutting. Your heart felt like it had been stabbed after hearing his words. You knew he had a point, you knew you couldn't mourn over him the rest of your life, but just hearing it so soon pained you more than you could ever imagine.

Getting married, start a family, watch your husband with his son. I wish it could be me but I won't make it off this bed.

Another night where Rafe couldn't sleep, this being his 6th one in a row. He looked at you while you slept and admired the way the moonlight entered the window. The way the light cascaded down your face, highlighting some of your facial features.

He slept maybe an hour, however he had a dream that woke him up. He dreamed that you got married to another man, watching as he took care of your son. He felt his heart pang with pain knowing that would be the harsh reality they would soon have to face.

It felt like his body was there, he knew he was there, but it felt like his soul was floating out of him as he watched you be happy with a random stranger. He watched as you scooped your son up in your arms, spinning around as he let out cheerful giggles.

Rafe watched your husband who looked just as happy as you did. He hated that you were happy with someone else, but he knew you would be in good hands with your husband. He just had to pray that you'll meet someone who loves you just as much as he did.

I hope I go to heaven so I see you once again. My life was kinda short but I got so many blessings. Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending.

Rafe had spent the next few months trying to make up for some of the shitty things he did in his teen years. He's been donating to the pour, volunteering at local shelters and soup kitchens, randomly picking garbage up from the highway. He was trying to do anything and everything to make sure he could go to heaven.

He had no clue if heaven or hell were real, but if they do exist he would do anything he could to make sure he got into heaven. After he dies, he knew that was his one chance to see you again. He knew one day he would wake up on the other side and you would be there, running to him to give him the hug both of you had been desperately craving.

I'm happy that you're here with me, I'm sorry if I tear up. When me and you were younger, you would always make me cheer up.

You softly knocked on the hospital room door, walking through the doorway with a tray of cafeteria food. "Hey baby, I brought you a sandwich and blue jello." He smiled at you, "my favorite." He subtly laughed before coughing harshly. You rushed over to his side and placed the tray down, grabbing one of the napkins to wipe away the small drops of blood that escaped his mouth.

"I got you baby, it's okay." You mumbled, passing him a glass of water as his coughing died down. You sat down in the seat next to him, watching him poke his sandwich before taking a small bite out of it. He sighed before dropping the sandwich back onto the plate, his eyes already crying. He sniffled as he covered his face with his hands, ashamed to be in the spot he was in right now.

You reached forward and grabbed onto his hand, rubbing his knuckles with your thumb as he tightened his grip. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. You shook your head trying to fight back your tears. "Don't apologize baby, I'm right here." "And I'm so fucking happy you are."

You held his hand, looking down at his fingers as you played with them. "Remember back in 8th grade when I got into a really bad argument with my dad after he married Rose? I was so angry and upset, and I ran right to your house. But you were right there to help me, you cheered me up in a matter of seconds of me being with you. That was one of the first times I truly knew how happy you made me." He recalled the memory, thinking about it like it was yesterday.

Taking goofy videos while walking through the park. You would jump into my arms every time you heard a bark.

You pulled up your snapchat and pressed record. You and Rafe decided to go to the local park to just go on the playground equipment. There was nobody around, even if there was when you were with him you felt like you two were the only ones there.

You recorded the video as Rafe pushed you on the swing set, you turned the camera to face you, zooming in on the large smile on his face. You pumped your legs up, accidentally kicking him in the stomach. The video got the whole thing and his reaction. You jumped off the swing and turned around to see him hunched over and groaning.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" You quickly apologized, trying to help him stand up straight. He laughed loudly, his bright smile never left his face. "That was so fucking funny!" You joined him in laughing, enjoying the moment. He held you closely by the waist as you held his elbows. "God, I am so in love with you." He muttered before pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

•

"Okay shut up that was one time and it was a dare!" You defended yourself, jokingly pushing his shoulder. He brought up the story about how you ran down the block fully naked one night in senior year. Your laugh stopped the moment you heard a loud bark echoing in the distance.

Your hand quickly reached down to grab his as your head turned in different directions to see where the sound came from. Rafe stopped walking and stood in front of you. "Hey, hey it's okay. It was just a dog." You nodded your head before letting out a shaky breath.

His free hand reached up and held the side of your face, "I got you Y/N. I won't let anything hurt you."

Cuddle in your sheets, sing me sound asleep. And sneak out through your kitchen at exactly 1:03.

You hushed Rafe as he whispered to you. Rafe had been your boyfriend for the last 2 months, however you hadn't told your parents about him yet which meant sneaking around if you wanted to be with him. You figured out a way to sneak him into your house without your parents knowing.

He tiptoed into your room before flinging himself onto your bed. He wasted no time in wrapping himself in your sheets, his arms wide open waiting for you to join him. You laid down next to him, watching as he looked at you with puppy eyes and his bottom lip pouting. "Which song tonight?" He thought for a minute, "Fix You by Coldplay."

You shifted in your spot so Rafe could rest his head on your chest, your hand reached yo to play with his hair. "When you try your best but you don't succeed…" you quietly sang to him. You continued until you heard his soft snores escape his lips. You shut your eyes and allowed yourself to fall asleep with him.

•

You were woken up by the feeling of his lips against yours, mumbling 'wake up' against them. "I'm awake." You muttered, rubbing your eyes. "I gotta head home." You nodded before flinging the sheets off of your body. You held his hand in yours before quietly opening your bedroom door. You led him down the halls and to your garage door.

He spun you around so you could face him, his hands finding your waist as you roped your arms around his neck. "See you tomorrow?" He questioned, "absolutely." You leaned forwards and kissed him softly, your lips hovering over his for a second.

"Goodnight handsome."

Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me.

It's been 12 months, Rafe was admitted into the hospital at the beginning of month 11. It happened when Rafe broke into a coughing spit that ended up with him spitting up splatters of blood. You weren't ready when that happened, you knew that that was the beginning of his end and that terrified you.

"Y/N?" He whispered, you sat up from your seat and stood next to him. "Yeah baby?" "Can you kiss me?" Your heart clenched at how soft his voice was. "It would be my honor." You grinned as he let out a weak laugh. Leaning down you cupped the side of his face and passionately kissed him.

You pulled away from him, not even knowing about the tears that rolled down your face. "My eyelids feel heavy." He admitted, knowing this might be his last day. You held the side of his face, watching as his eyes slowly fell shut and his heart monitor slowed down. "No no, Rafe look at me. Keep your eyes open." You begged.

"I love you Y/F/N Y/L/N, forever and always." He whispered before his eyes fell shut. The room went silent except for the sound of the monitor flat lining, fear running through your veins. "Doctor!"

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

Text

“SHOULD I TRY?”

Gilly Lopez x Reader

Serie Index. Chapter 5.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: NSFW 'cause maybe has a little of explicit violence.

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author Comments: I hope you all enjoy. The gif isn’t mine.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @chibsytelford @dazzledamazon @mara-mpou @sammskellington @gemini0410 @1-800-imagines @briana-mishell24 @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @losolvidad0s ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Something unexpected hits your nape hard, making you fall to the floor bumping it with your head. All you feel is pain shaking your body with your eyes filled with tears. You want to fight, you want to get up, but the coup have get you knock out. Your eyelids are falling till the darkness envelops you and the last face you can see is Gilly's.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

Your breath is calmed, starting to feel somewhat awake with the throat dried and a metallic taste between your teeth. You cough moving your head slight, opening your eyes slowly. The grief is back shaking your body with little lashes. Everything is blurred, trying to focus your gaze and find out where you are. But everything you can know is that your hands are tied, finding it when you're about to rub your forehead. You look at both wrist, with black esparto ropes wrapping them on a rusted headboard. Wooden walls around you, furniture full of cobwebs. There's also a skylight at the end of the room, on the ceiling, almost covered by a dirty blanket. You don't have to be so smart to know that you're in an attic. But, where?

Your pulse accelerates when you're able to hear some heavy steps going upstairs, opening the door with a screeching sound too annoying for your ears. Then, you see him. Carrying on his lips the same smile that one day made you fall in love loudly. You can't believe this is truly happening. Every single inch of your body contracts in tension, feeling the rage running through your veins when he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. You want to hit him, but then you also figure out that your ankles are tied too.

“This is the part when you beg for your life”. He says with a jocular tone in his voice.

And when he thinks you're about to reply something, you spit his face. Bad move. The man slaps you with the back of his hand, breaking your lower lip by the left side because of the impact his ring makes on it.

“My brother will cut you into pieces to feed his dogs”. You chuckles, 'cause even if you're terrified, you're not going to show him.

“My back is well covered, mi amor”. He laughs loud, shaking his head for a second. “And you're gonna pay for betraying me”.

His right fist goes straight to your temple, provoking you an incessant and painful buzz till you finally lose the conscience again.

(Meanwhile at Mayans Clubhouse)

“We will find her”. Marcos says full of anger, narrowing Gilly's shoulder trying to stay calm.

“Is there any place he could go?”

“We asked to the cops of Tijuana. That son of a bitch has a property close to the east border, between the mountains”. José runs to the crew, with a record on his hand with all the information he received from Mexico.

“Let's fuck up that cabrón”. Angel says throwing away his cigar to get ready to ride his bike.

Gilly went this morning to bring you some breakfast and spend your day off together, but when he came to your house Alex told him that you went to throw the trash and she never came back. Your house-mates thought that you went to Gilly's house. Of course, he suspected that something was wrong, walking next to the trash cubes, finding there your keys. The first thing he did was call Bishop.

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

Mayans and Coyotes aren't stupid. The play smart leaving the bikes almost half a kilometer away, to not call the attention with the roar of his engines. They're all carrying different weapons. Shotguns, smalls hand guns, knives, even an AK-47 Marcus gave them. Dressing with dark clothes and bulletproofs vests, the bikers are more than ready to storm the house. Their steps become slow, hiding between the woods to have a look of the rustic house in the middle of nowhere, with a sport car parking next to the porch. Bishop looks at Marcos, who is rolling his eyes 'cause he knows how foreseeable he can be. That's why they never accepted in Los Coyotes de Tijuana.

Gilly wants to take the first step, but Coco stops him. If he goes inside first, everything could go wrong. Miguel walks bent over towards the windows having a quick look, to indicate that no one's on the first floor. Everything clean.

“Jorge, Tano, back yard” Marcos whispers then. “Mayans, with me”.

“Gilly and Tranq, you stay here, watching if someone else is coming”. Bishop indicates.

“You're gonna have to put a bullet between my eyebro', if you want me to stay here, man”. Gilly says pushing his chest, before getting up to walk outside the woods following his brother-in-law.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

“Despierta, mi amor”.

A cascade of cold water falls into your face and your mouth, making you drown for a while coughing with some difficulties, shaking your head and stirring your whole body. Your temple still hurting, as your wrists and ankles with the ties pressing and burning slightly your skin with every move, trying to get free. You can see Antonio leaving the empty glass of water on the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking your chin with two fingers.

“I know you still love me, but your dear Marquitos turned you against me”.

“He did nothen' and I don' love you anymore, you fuckin' bastard”. You spit him again, without worrying about the fact the he can hit you another time. But he laughs, so loud that terrifies you more than the silence.

“You just had to learn how to love me properly”.

“How? Ah? Punching me till almost kill me? You're fuckin' sick, Antonio. And you're gonna pay for all of this”.

“When your new friends find this place, we will be so, so, so far away, mi amor”. He says then, caressing your swollen cheek with the back of his fingers. “And you will also carrying my child”.

“The fuc' are you talking 'bout?” You try hard to not show the tremble that shakes your voice.

“Sh... Relax, mi niña. You're gonna enjoy, for the old times”.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

“House clean!” Coco yells, being reunited with both crews at the hall.

“Shit!” Alejandro curses exhausted.

“Where the fuck he can be?” Taza asks facing Marcos with somewhat calm.

“I don' know... Did you register the car?”

“It's clean too, presidente”. José says shrugging with a gun in his hand.

“Another house, another property?” Bishop asks then desperate, trying to figure it out.

“I think... (Y/N) said something about... a cabin close to Mexico, the night at the hospital”. Jaime is trying to remember your words, not knowing of who could be the owner.

“What about Sancho?” Alejandro turns to Marcos.

“Who's Sancho?” Gilly takes another step closer to the mexican charter.

“His boss. That perro has somewhat like a house in surroundings Mexico DF”.

“How much time?”

“Two and a half. Maybe two hours if we're fast enough”.

“Then run for her fuckin' life!” Gilly shouts, keeping his gun behind his back.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

The tears are falling down running your cheeks and your neck. You can feel the stabbing pain in your low belly because of his bites, dragging his teeth over your skin wetting it. He didn't touch you yet, he's enjoying torturing you and laughing at your terrified gestures and your begs to him for stop. You claimed for help, believing that someone could hear you, but nobody came.

Antonio pulls down your pajama shorts, licking his lips with burning lust inside his orbs. He's ready to enjoy your body, even if you're praying him to not hurt you, trying to gain some time with the hope you can break free somehow as your brother taught you, when you were younger. Maybe dislocating your thumb, so you can strain a hand by the tie. Painful, but successful.

“I could never get tired of your body, mi amor”.

He sighs placing himself between your legs, arching your back when he surrounds your waist with both arms. You can feel how hard is he, turning your stomach, making you want to vomit. You can't understand why you fell in love so loud with him, or why the hell you felt so lost without him the first months in Santo Padre. Now you see it. You were blind. He made you think you never could be good enough for anyone. Neither your family, nor your friends. He absorbed you in a toxic loop, romanticizing every punch, every hit, every drop of spilled blood, every bruise. But then, you met Gilly. You met the love, the self-care, the laughs for nothing, the warm his hugs bring you, the hours in silence looking at each other, the dearly smiles, how good it's feels smell your shirt and find his scent.

And you know it's time to fight. For him. For your family. For your friends. For new life. For you.

For him, it's an unexpected scream full of pain. It hurt much more than you expected, feeling the agony running through your forearm up your elbow, flowing into your neck. But before he can reacts, your fist goes to his nose, with a soft crunch behind your knuckles. You have broken it. You know it's one of his weak points, after take so much cocaine that it made him a hole inside the bridge. That gives you some seconds, enough to take the empty glass of water to broke it against the floor and use a piece to cut the tie wrapping the other wrist. He gets up with the shirt soaked in blood as his lips and neck, and you can see he's furious, but you're not gonna give up pointing him with the glass.

“Cuando el coyote predica, no están seguras las gallinas”. (When the coyote preaches, the chicken aren't safe). You say, spitting every word, listening a high-pitch howl coming closer. You know it well, so he does. “Run, chicken, run”.

As he did two years ago, challenging your gaze with the difference that you're not drowning in your own blood but in pain and tears, he runs away. Antonio knows well what Marcos will do to him. But he doesn't know how much you have changed, and that your brother will be the less important problem. You hear him going downstair, giving him some seconds of advantage. Cutting the other ties, and placing on well your thumb with a crack and a growl, you stretch your numb legs and your arms.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” You can hear your brother's voice breaking the wooden front door, before some shoots and screams of pain.

The prey has been hunted after all this time hiding.

“(Y/N)! Where are you?!” Then you hear Bishop's.

You're trying to go down every stair step, supporting your weight over your palms in the railing. You find yourself crying. But you're not sure why. Pain, horror, sadness, but also happiness, relief, alleviation, run through your veins and your mind making you feel confused.

“Baby! Say something! Where are you?” Gilly is there. Your shaky legs fail, falling apart over the stairs, having a sit whilst your cry gets louder, enough to listen a lot of heavy steps coming to you. “(Y/N)!”

He runs towards you going upstairs, kneeling in front of you before hugging your body between his strongs and warm arms. And the world get paralyzed. You're at home, even if it's not your house, nor even your town. But it's him. It's all about Gilly.

“The kid is here! We foun’ he’!” Coco shouts to the rest, from the beginning of the stairs.

“Give them a moment, now she's safe”. Alejandro says, pushing him away to the living room where they caught Antonio.

You need your time to wrap his back, feeling that your arms doesn't reply to any move tired of being in the same position for more than eighteen hours. He's trying to comfort you with gently caresses all over your head and back, sinking your face on his neck. You know he's blaming himself about what you said, about that you were scared that he could find you if the Coyotes traveled to Santo Padre. But at least, you caught him and he's gonna pay for all the pain he provoked you.

“Are you hurt?” He asks almost in a whisper, pulling you some inches away inspecting your face, with the desperation consuming his soul.

“I love you”. You answers, still drowning in your own salty tears, licking your lips. He laughs bittersweet, before helping you to get up, raising you on his arms.

“You’re safe now, baby”. He mutter in your ear, resting your face on his chest.

“She will do it”. Marcos talks whilst Alejandro is nodding drawing a silver dagger, when the Mayan comes to the living room supporting you.

No one says nothing, while Gilly is helping you to put yourself on your feet. They’re kinda sleepy, but without letting go one of his hands, you raise the free one to the knife with a cross engraved on it. The both prospect of the charters are holding Antonio’s arms, kneeling above the wooden floor with his gaze filled by wrath.

“Listen, if you don’t wanna do’et…” Bishop walks towards you, twisting his face, so only you can hear him.

“This is my job”. You deny with a scratchy tone in your voice. “This is what I used to do, and this is what I’m gonna do”.

Setting yourself free, you bend next to the man who tried to ruin your life and almost killed you. There’s no expression on your countenance, but he’s starting to look scared. Ripping off his shirt, pulling away both apertures and gently sticking the tip of the sharp knife into his chest, enough to draw a shallow slit to write the name of your charter on it. Yes, maybe you’re enjoying every shout wrapped in grief, while Antonio stirs under the grip. Mayans must be freaking out behind you, because your family have seen you so many times dealing with this kind of situations that they don’t even get surprised.

“You wi—”

“I will nothen’!” You yell at him, hitting his mouth with your left elbow to make him shut up. “I told you that night, when the blood collected in my throat. One day I would find you and I would make you pay for every tear, for every bruise, for every time you raped me, for every time you hit me for no reason. And now, here comes judgment day, pinche perro”.

You’re feeling strong than never, maybe because of the adrenaline invading every inch of your anatomy, dragging every word you spit above your tongue. And his blood splashes your face, your neck and your shirt, when the dagger blade pierces his skin ripping it completely. A guttural growl comes out from his throat when your hand falls down holding the knife, cutting his chest till you reach the belt on his jeans. The blood bathes the carpet, taking away his last breaths while the prospect letting him go, making Antonio drop half dead.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

Your back is against the wall, sitting on one of the bed of the Mayans clubhouse, in the last room. You have been alone for the past three hours, after convincing your brother to come back to Tijuana. He wasn’t in accordance with your decision, but the fault wasn’t theirs. And you were calm because of that man was already dead. Although your mind was remembering everything that happened once and again, you knew that night you could finally sleep peaceful.

Bishop comes to the room, closing the door after his steps, sitting on the edge of the bed with some distance between both. He isn’t the Rey de los Mayas because of his age, but because of his intelligence. And you played smart when you told him you never were an active member. But you don’t need it, if you're somekind of nomad or hired assassin.

“You ok?”

You nod slightly, raising your eyes at him.

“So… That was your job, rai’?”

You nod again. No words needed.

“Was it one of the reasons why he did all that to you?”

“He did it ‘cause my brother never wanted him to be part of Los Coyotes. Taking me to hell and teaching me that it was the only life I could have, it was the way to be close to them”.

Bishop puts his gaze away, having a deep breath by his nose, to let go the air by his lips.

“Gilly blames himself”.

“I know, but it’s not his fault, nor yours, nor anyone. I allowed Antonio to do it, it’s only because of me”.

“He wanna see ya’”.

You nod a third time, in silence, letting know that you want to see him too. The president gets up of his seat, walking towards the door to let him cross it, leaving you two alone. He doesn’t know what say to make you feel better, or to make you feel safe. Without knowing, that you are already feeling this way. This was like another job, with the difference that you killed the man who pushed you to the limit of your capacities. Your knees are placed against your chest, surrounding them with both arms, when he takes the same seat Bishop had. His head down, his forearms supported on his lap and both hands on his nape. Gilly sets free a heavy snort with closed eyes, without moving an inch when you hug him laying your chest on his back, surrounding his neck.

“I’m so sorry ‘you have to see me doin’et”. You whisper leaving some kisses on his head. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened in the last weeks. I just… turned your world upside down”.

“You stabilized it”. He replies shaking his chin, turning to look at you. “I should listened you, and I di—”.

“Take me home, Gilly”. You ask him, making the reference to his house and the safe-place you two built there.

#mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #mayans mc x reader #mayans mc #gilly lopez x reader #gilly lopez #gilly lopez imagine

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yandere-romanticaa · 4 years

Note

Hello, if you're open! (If not ignore this) but I see your a fellow Hakuryuu lover as well! If you do scenarios, (if not, headcanons are fine) can you do one with yandere!Hakuryuu who's s/o escapes him during the kou civil war (to both escape his madness but also because she was pregnant with his child) and Hakuryuu is pissed and devastated and never stops looking for her. After the timeskip he finally finds her hiding in Kina with his baby son when he, Aladdin, stay there? Thanks!

Anon, I had this EXACT same idea for a while now! So thank you for requesting this, it made me so happy! Also, spoilers for the Magi manga, Kou Civil War arc. And sorry if this wasn't very good, I really tried lmao.

♡ Ren Hakuryuu ♡

It was a full moon tonight, and the 4th Emperor of the Kou Empire, Ren Hakuryuu, was looking out one of the many windows, lost deep within his enraged thoughts. A part of him knew that it was bound to happen, a part of his knew that (y/n) would try to escape. Only Judal and a couple of others knew of (y/n)'s disappearance but other then that it was all carefully hidden. The people of the empire simply could not know that the Empress had ran off to God knows where, the morale was already so low. Oh how Hakuryuu missed her, words could not express that feeling. How he longed for the warmth of her embrace and the sweetness of her voice was maddening, so much so that he could bearly concentrate on anything. It didn't help that his beloved wife was feeling rather ill before dissapearing, and the thought of her being pregnant only gave him more determination to find her. Yes, he missed her dearly but she needed to be punished. She needs to know that she cannot act like this, that Hakuryuu is just doing this to protect her! He sent countless scouts and soldiers out all over the empire and beyond, but his efforts always turned out to be fruitless. (y/n) was almost like a ghost, not a single trace was left of her. It greatly angered him but, Hakuryuu had to give her the credit of cleaning up her tracks like this. He can only imagine how stressful it felt and just how catious she had to be. I mean, almost anyone would be able to recoginse the Empress herself, no?

Whatever the case may be, Hakuryuu never gave up, he couldn't give up. He was going to find (y/n) no matter the cost. He was willing to bend this cursed world upside down if it meant that she would be his once again.

Alas, Hakuryuu had no idea just how many diffirent surprises the future had in store for him.

♡♡♡

Months have passed, and thanks to Sinbad, Hakuryuu was now one of the worlds top three most wanted terrorists. The other two were Nerva Julius, the former heir of the Reim Empire and the current king of the kingdom of Kina, Takeruhiko Yamato. All three of them had refused to give up their metal vessels to Sinbad and the Seven Seas Alliance and because of that they were branded by many as dangerous criminals. All three of them though took refuge somewhere else, and their whereabouts were unknown to the world.

It was strange how the kingdom of Kina dissapeared so suddenly. It was a small island country in the middle of the great ocean but now it was just gone. No one knew that kingdom was now hidden in the Dark continent, in one piece and with two of the "terrorists" residing there. Hakuryuu trained with Yamato every single day, in a vain attempt to keep his mind occupied. Ever since he defected from the throne his search for his wife came to a halt and this devistated Hakuryuu to no end. He would often dream her and what would their future look like if they were still together. Her sweet scent and soft skin plauged his mind for hours on end, and whenever Hakuryuu opened his eyes he was always reminded by the cold wind that he was indeed alone.

Alone...

God he hated this feeling. This constant feeling of sadness, shame, regret, emptiness fury. It was getting to him, he was just at a complete loss.

"...(y/n) my darling, just.... Where are you..."

Leaving the warmth of his bed, Hakuryuu exited the castle for a little late night stroll. The only thing that could be heard was the soft stream of a nearby river and a few smal animals here and there. He tilted his head towards the sky and was met with a sight that should have been bautiful, that should have brought him joy, if not a little wonder even. But Hakuryuu felt nothing. The glimmering stars were like another reminder of how much he had lost in such a short time. It felt as though the world was mocking him, reminding him of his past mistakes and failures. For a short while he had it all, he truly did. He had his empire, he had Judal, he had (y/n)... But now?

He had nothing.

Should he even contiune on with his life? What even is the point of living if the world has made its point crystal clear, that there is no place for him in it? Truth be told, the only reason he was alive right now was to just spite the world. Deep down he was still clinging to that small ray of hope that one day he could see (y/n) once again. Just to see her smile, to hear her voice, anything!

He stood on the dirt path, so lost in his own dark mind that he failed to see a little boy running up towards him. Hearing the soft footsteps, Hakuryuu turned around and was met with a sight that shook him to the core. Looking down he saw a little boy, no older then three, but he was almost identical as Hakuryuu. It was like staring in to a small mirror! They had the same face and hair, but what Hakuryuu took special note of were his (e/c) eyes. They were so familliar-!!! Furrowing his brow, Hakuryuu violently shook his head. He... He really was going crazy wasn't he...? He was just imagining things, he had to be! His blue eyes were glued to the little boy and all sorts of thoughts ran through his broken mind. Hope was slowly bubbling up in his chest once he finally realized that he could speak once again. But before he could, he heard someone yell.

"Daiju, there you are! Sweetie, you can't just run off in-!!"

Time itself felt as though it came to a halt the moment those (e/c) eyes locked in to Hakuryuu's. Hakuryuu was almost shaking, not fully realizing that this was real. Slowly, he tilted his head and looked at the boy once more. The little boy, Daiju, seemed to be confused but he still smiled none the less. Hakuryuu put the two and two together and the thought came to him.

This was his son.

(y/n) was right in front of him.

Was this real? Was any of this real?! Did he somehow die in his sleep?! Or was this a dream!!? Without even thinking, Hakuryuu quickly took ahold of (y/n)'s arm. It was just like how he remembered it, so soft and delicate... His breathing was ragged and uneven, his his grip far thighter then it ever was. How badly (y/n) wanted to scream at that moment. She needed to get out of here, she needed to hide her son, his son-!

She trembled and whimpered as Hakuryuu lightly twisted her wrist. He pushed her on to the ground and covered her mouth with one of his hands. Daiju shouted in the background, wanting Hakuryuu to just "get off his mommy!" His gaze was intense, angry, loving... Salty tears escaped those (e/c) that he loved so much as he dipped his head near her neck. He lightly sniffed her neck, fully englufing (y/n)'s intoxicating smell. He had no clue just how much he craved her, just how badly he would lose control once her found her. Nothing prepared Hakuryuu for this, but he sure as Hell wasn't going to let her go. Daiju's face was covered in tears as he lightly punched Hakuryuu's back in a desparate attempt to help his mother. Hakuryuu turned his gaze towards his son, his eyes slightly softening in the process. A small smile framed his face as he stared at the little boy, his boy, who in return was terrified beyond belief. (y/n) trashed beneath Hakuryuu but no matter what she did it was no good. He was strong, much more strong then he was the last time they were together.

Hakuryuu once again turned his attention towards (y/n), only this time with a look that could kill. His slim fingers lightly traced her neck, almost like a warning. She dared not to move as she now knew just how screwed she was. She thought that she was finally free, and even though the pregnancy caught her off guard, she still deeply cared for her son, even if he still was this monsters son.

Even so, his eyes shined with such determination that (y/n) shook with complete and utter fear. The air around her became thick as she felt as though she could no longer breathe. And with Hakuryuu right on top of her, she really could not. She prayed and prayed for mercy but no one heard her, and no one was ever going to hear her. They were finally back together and Hakuryuu had never felt so happy in his entire life.

#yaaay #i finally have magi requests in my inbox!!#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #magi #magi imagine #magi x reader #magi the labrynth of magic #magi the kingdom of magic #yandere magi #yandere magi x reader #ren hakuryuu #hakuryuu ren #yandere hakuryuu ren x reader #yandere hakuryuu ren #yandere ren hakuryuu

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bby-ahgastay · 4 years

Text

a/n: hey guys. there's a lot going on right now in the US. my heart is heavy seeing it all. as a little girl i was terrified of cops. no little girl should be scared of someone who is supposed to protect her and everyone around her. i plan to help fight for BLACK LIVES MATTER. i hope you all will do what you can as well. i wrote this after my parents told me they don't want me near the protests. my dad said he's seen videos of people being pushed to the floor by cops for just standing there. i told him i would be okay with becoming one of those videos if it means people will keep seeing what's going on. so that people will finally see that ALL. COPS. ARE. BASTARDS. i wanted to use this small platform i have here to get out some of what i have to say. and i have so much more to say still. not enough can ever be said. i hope that those of you in america stand with me and everyone else on this side during this time. i pray and hope with all my heart that our boys will.

SILENCE = VIOLENCE

TU LUCHA ES MI LUCHA

ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS

BLACK LIVES MATTER

-------

"hey, i've been seeing all those videos... you're really going to this thing? it seems so dangerous," your boyfriends worried voice rings through your phones speakers. his camera is pointed straight upwards, all you can see is the ceiling in his kitchen. "i don't really want you around all that stuff. you could get really hurt."

chan was in korea right now. you live out there too, for school, but america was your birth place. stuff has been getting bad in america lately. the virus hit everywhere hard, but america didn't deal with it properly. while the rest of the world was recovering from it, people out there are still getting sick and dying. and the fight between races was no better after so long. black people were still dying at the hands of people who would receive no real consequences. and people are done.

there are riots and people are looting. the streets are filled with people who are done with cops. the entire criminal justice system in america was built on a rotten foundation. they started as a slave patrol, to bring back slaves who had escaped their owners clutches. what is built on a rotten foundation will always be rotten.

you want to fight with those who want to better the country. so to show your support for the black lives matter movement you decided to go home. to fight with them right there in person. it didn't feel enough to stay in korea and show your support through social media. so now you're back at your family home in los angeles, ready to go to every protest you can.

though chan wishes you wouldn't. he's been trying to stay as up to date with everything as much as he could. he knows that you've already gone to the ones that have happened since you've arrived, but they're getting worse and he keeps trying to get you stay home. you know he just cares for your safety. you've been hurt already and he's scared how much worse it can get. but this is too important to you to just stay home and watch from your window. you wish he just understood that you need to be a part of this as much as you possibly can.

"yes, i'm really going. i have to. i need to be a part of this," you bite your lips nervously. "i mean..." chan appears on screen again, eyes sticking to you intently as you speak. "all my life, i've been told how lucky i am to be in this country. how proud i should be that i was born an american. and i know i should be proud, my grandparents worked hard to make sure i could be an american. but how can i be proud of this place anymore?

"just seeing my own family struggling to live here peacefully is enough reason to be ashamed. how is it right that my abuelo and abuela came here for a better life for their family and now they can't even walk past a police officer without worrying about getting stopped. cops hardly need an excuse to harass a person of color. and if my grandparents are ever stopped by a cop they could find out that they're not legal and they'll get deported.

"i've grown up terrified of cops. at five years old if i would just see a cop car near my house i would know to tell my mamá and papá so we could get the house ready 'just in case they wanted to take abuelo and abuela away from us...' that's what they would say to me and the other kids in the house. we were all just children... but still we knew exactly what to do by the time we could walk and talk.

"and while we have to hide my grandparents from the law, hide them for their crime of making a better life for their children and the next generations to come, a black person has to worry about losing their life or losing a loved one while just walking down the street.

"you've seen the videos, chan. they're chanting 'black lives matter' and 'all cops are bastards'. they're both right and they're both something that everyone should know by now. and yet still here we are fighting against people who still support cops because theyre either just as bad as they are or they simply don't understand. and they chose not to educate themselves so they go on believing that we are the bad guys. i want them to get it. this isn't white versus black. this is everyone versus racists. and them saying 'i'm not racist' can not be enough. 'not racist' will get us no where. what we need is anti racism. and until we have that i won't be proud of this country.

"how can i? how can i be proud of a place that not only doesn't welcome me or my family, but a place that allows lives to be taken everyday and for what reason? all because someone with a badge, the same badge they used as slave patrollers, decided to abuse the power we wrongly placed in their hands because they know they can get away with it since that person was darker than them. because as far as this system shows the law doesn't know yet that black lives matter. and since they lack that knowledge they get away with no more consequences than a slap on the wrist. and we've been trying to teach them. we've been screaming at them 'black lives matter' for years. but they haven't listened. they kept pushing it away, ignoring it. they continue to allow the murder. and they think that we will too.

"well, i fucking refuse. i refuse to watch this anymore. i refuse to just let this just be another month full of retweeting petitions and nothing more. i refuse to let my country go on like this. i refuse to let my children see america like this. i refuse to become another adult in this damned place telling my kids 'you should be proud,' just for them to grow up and see what is really happening here. i don't want them to just be another generation that this shit just gets passed onto. this fight has been going on for too fucking long and i intend to be a part of the movement that ends it in any way i can. and right now that means going to every single protest i can."

your voice shakes the entire time you talk, tears streaming down your face barely a few sentences in. a hand comes up to wipe your face, sniffling slightly and clearing your throat. you look back at your phone, catching channie's glassy eyes through the screen. "sorry, i-i got carried away... it just all makes me so mad," another wave of fresh tears comes and you struggle to keep them back. a groan leaves you as you rub your eyes with your sleeves.

"hey," you look to see him shaking his head. "don't be sorry. i understand. i'm proud i have such a passionate girlfriend. and i know that you will help make america a place that one day our kids will be proud of, just like you want for them. i love you. please be careful out there," there's a slight break in his voice and you're surprised to see a couple tears fall from his eyes.

"i promise i will. i love you, too, chan. so much."

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